#this is is ridiculous
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Homebodies
A little fluff for your TTPD weekend.
~~~
“No I promise, just sit down, I’ll be done in just a minute, mom.” she says firmly in response to her mother asking if she needs any help in the kitchen. Travis just gives Andrea that one look she’s grown to know too well. His eyebrows raised an inch and a smirk on his face that tells the blonde woman he’s got her daughter all figured out.
Leave it to me.
She giggles quietly at Travis, then slowly walks back into the living room to sit down next to Scott. Travis looks at all the different dishes on the counter behind her. The California sun is slowly setting. He should’ve known this morning when she announced that she’ll cook ‘a few Italian primi piatti’ that the ruthless perfectionist lurking inside of his girlfriend would finally make a come back on this Friday. After running around all day, going to the gym, completing her cardio challenge, baking cupcakes for her parents, finishing a work meeting, discussing a music video concept with her team and signing a few new contracts, she of course decided to hit the delicacy shop she loves out here in LA, just to buy all the ingredients she needs for a total of six different Italian dishes that she wants to make for him and her parents tonight. He knows too well by now that whenever Taylor is in this state of mind, there’s no stopping her. If she sets her mind onto something, there’s nothing anyone can say or do to make her loosen up a little. Even if that would involve her actually enjoying this quiet evening with him and her family instead of standing in the kitchen for a solid two hours now, not having had a single conversation with any one of her parents yet.
“What else needs to be done? I can cut veggies? I’m good at cutting stuff.” he tries one last time, steals a carrot stick from her cutting board and starts munching. While stirring the big blue Dutch oven in front of her, she looks back at him for a second, stressed, clearly not amused that he’s eating her uncooked food.
“No, all good. I just need to make sure the risotto won’t thicken too much and once that’s done you guys can sit down and eat the carpaccio before it gets soggy because I need to take the bread out of the oven and quickly scrap together the bruschetta sauce..”
Travis just sighs deeply, takes a step closer towards her. She’s too stressed whipping up the food in front of her to even notice him trying to get closer.
“How about we just let the bruschetta be? We’ve got so much food, babe. It’s just us four. It’s also really late already.”
She shakes her head, not responding to him and he knows that if he pushes her any more now, she might actually get mad at him tonight.
“How about I start cutting some tomatoes for the bruschetta then?” he says with a sigh, finally gave into her obsession with the tomato bread. For a moment she looks up at him, a weak smile on her face. It immediately lights up his entire body.
“That would be great.” she just says, still a bit hesitant and he knows why. She’s not sure if she should be happy that he’s offering to help her, or if she should be worried about the fact that he might cut off his fingers while doing so.
“Sure.” he says, can see the washed and perfectly ripe tomatoes sitting in the drain by the sink right next to her. He grabs one of the tomatoes, holds it up in the air with a question mark on his face.
“Little cubes?”
She nods, a smile on her face.
“Thanks, Trav.” she says then, still busy stirring the risotto in front of her. She doesn’t even notice that he gets closer to her, and fast enough has stolen her cheek a gentle kiss. She giggles all surprised about his gentleness, then feels him lean in again after a second.
“You’re very welcome, crazy.”
Another kiss leaving her cheek. She just giggles, continues stirring her risotto.
_________
“Taylor, that was absolutely incredible.”
She smiles proudly at her father sitting across from her, takes one last sip from her white wine.
“Thanks so much. So glad you liked it.”
“Honey, it was delicious but you didn’t have to put in all this work just because we’re visiting.” Andrea says, her tone a bit more dunning than Scott’s was before. Taylor just rolls her eyes, a bit annoyed that everyone around her acts like she reinvented the wheel with this Italian dinner. Yes, it was some cooking time to prepare this meal, but she loves hosting and loves being a cook. Her mom should know that better than anyone.
“Tay loves spoiling our guests.” Trav says then, and Taylor looks up at the big man sitting next to her. She starts smiling. Our guests. It was a simple sentence. But it made her feel a certain way. He’s home. This has become his home, too.
“I do. Also, this is Trav’s favorite dish. So..”
“Hey, don’t put this on me now.” He says quickly, jokingly holds up his hands in an innocent gesture that makes the whole table laugh. Taylor can’t help but giggle, too. She playfully hits him in the side.
“I gained fifteen pounds since December, Scott. Fifteen pounds.” he says dramatically to both Andrea and Scott, who amusedly witness the interaction between him and Taylor.
“That’s a good sign, though.” her father laughs, especially because his daughter starts hitting the man’s upper arm some more, looking deeply shocked from him, to her mom and back at Travis again.
“Do not even start blaming me for that. Every time I have food laying around he eats it. That’s not on me.”
Andrea starts laughing, and so does Scott. Travis just rolls his eyes playing pretend, sips one last time on his wine glass before looking at the blonde woman in the black top sitting next to him, giving him a playful side eye. She looks absolutely gorgeous as always, but there’s something in her eyes that gives her away. She’s exhausted. Deeply exhausted and tired, but he knows she won’t ever admit to it.
Without countering her some more, Travis just places his wine glasses in front of him, then wanders with his right hand to her head. He starts gently caressing her hair, wandering down to her neck then, where his thumbs draw some soft and slow circles. He can see her eyes getting smaller and her smile getting softer. His touch helps her let her guard down slowly. But she’s not the only one sitting around this table smiling quietly. Both of her parents witness his gentle gesture silently, a smile on both their faces, unsure if they’ve ever seen their daughter look as loved and taken care of as she does right now.
“You had three hours of sleep last night. How are you even still upright?”
She giggles, his hand now leaving her neck and reaching for her cold left hand.
“Jetlag and being tired is a choice.”
Andrea starts laughing. She knows just as much as Travis that this is the most ridiculous saying her daughter comes up with whenever she’s urged to slow down a little.
“Mhm. Sure.” he just says laughingly, knowing damn well that there’s no arguing with her tonight. Within less than two seconds, she gets up, starts cleaning the dinner table.
“How about you start picking a movie and we do the dishes.” Andrea now takes initiative but before she can even finish her sentence, Taylor shakes her head and makes sure to grab the used plates quicker than her mother can.
“Absolutely not. Trav will go pick a movie with you guys, I’m gonna quickly clean up and feed the cats and join you then.”
“I can feed the cats, babe.” the man who just got up right next to her tries once more but she shakes her head.
“No, please pick a movie with mom and dad.” She asks him with a serious look on her face and he sighs, just shakes his head in disbelief, knowing damn well that he’s got to let her be her obsessive self tonight.
“Alright guys, what do you want to watch?”
_________
“Why is it so quiet in here…”
“Because we are waiting for you, honey.” Scott says from the living room couch, looking at Taylor who stands in the now clean and shiny kitchen preparing the bowls for her cats.
“No, just start the movie already. I’ll be there in a second.” she says, really doesn’t want them to have to wait any longer. After all, it’s past nine already now. The view onto her little backyard is pitch black, and she knows her parents are still jet lagged, too.
“Absolutely not.” Travis says from the very right couch on which he sits, giving her that look she loves so much. With the remote control in his hand, as comfortable as he can be, he smiles at her, looking right into her eyes somehow even though this massive living room is dividing them.
“You can’t miss the beginning. It’s the most important part of this movie.”
“Alright, alright, give me one second.” she says, places the bowls in front of the three impatient cats waiting for their dinner, and washes her hands with her favorite lavender soap in the big kitchen sink one last time.
“Do you guys have drinks? Do you need any snacks, or ice cream? Trav, do we still have the…”
“We have everything, honey. Now enough with all this madness. Sit down on your ass. Now!” Andrea says in a new tone, which Travis hadn’t experienced before. It makes him smile though. Suddenly, Taylor just nods, turns off the lights in the kitchen and finally, after what felt like an eternity, makes her way up to her family lounging in the living room. Travis smiles at the beauty in front of him, immediately opens his arms for her to sit down next to him.
“Come on, babe. Lay down.” he just mumbles, gets comfortable on the big couch himself, a pillow in his neck, and enjoys to feel Taylor cuddle up to him, becoming the little spoon to be able to face the big flat screen.
“Alright, are we ready?”
“Yes.” Both Scott and Andrea answer annoyed from their seats and it makes Taylor laugh. Travis hits the play button and the movie starts. His right hand securely around Taylor’s small body frame, slowly wandering onto her stomach. She places her hand on top of his, and with his head on the pillow behind him, he leans over to her once, breathing in her incredible smelling hair, and steals her neck one last kiss. She moves a bit more, trying to get comfortable, and he can feel how fast her heart beats. He knew it. She’s been running around all day, not even allowing herself a single moment of rest. She’s rattled up, and her inability to just lay still in his arms is proof enough. Sometimes, he feels like whenever she’s not playing a show she needs to run around all day to compensate for her lack of adrenaline rush. It’s not good for her though. It’s not good to be in a constant state of stress.
The movie has just started and he catches himself every so often just staring at her instead. Her silhouette in the darkness, lid up by nothing but the flickering tv light. She’s the most beautiful person he knows. Not a single ounce of badness about her. It terrifies him sometimes, how deeply he loves her. How pure his feelings really are for her. His thoughts manifest themselves once more as she starts laughing about a scene on tv and he realizes that he was way too distracted to follow the storyline until now.
A few moments later, Travis can finally feel her become more and more still in his arms. Her hand still firmly over his, her thumb drawing the ever same slow circles on the back of his hand. She’s slowly coming down from her day. And half an hour later, he knows she’s fighting sleep. Whilst both of her parents are still awake watching and enjoying the movie he chose, the blonde woman in his arms has grown unusually quiet. It takes another five minutes and he feels her spasm once. She’s fighting sleep when really, she shouldn’t. Travis slowly lets go of her stomach, moves his big hand over her cold and naked upper arm instead. Nothing but the tv light lighting up her sleepy face.
“Baby?”
“Mhm?” she answers in her half sleeping state, of course pretending to be fully awake.
“Can you reach for the blanket next to you?”
She slowly sits up, grabs the blanket and just hands it to him, too tired to fully recognize the fact that she’s freezing in her top, and that she needs the blanket more than he does. She just lays down again, her head this time getting comfortable on his upper arm. He opens up the soft blanket over her, feels Taylor finally giving in. With her eyes half closed and the same tired disoriented look on her face whenever she wakes up at night to go to the bathroom, Taylor turns around, signaling him to open his arms for her some more. She’s now fully turned away from the tv, her sleepy face facing his chest. He protectively wraps the blanket around her cold torso, feels her little hand placed on his chest over his sweater. With her wrapped in his arms, and the blanket, Travis looks down at her closing her eyes, finally allowing herself to fall asleep. He leans down to kiss her forehead once, his arm around her, stroking her back up and down.
“Sorry, I’m just..”
He doesn’t know whether her mumbles are an apology to him or her parents about the fact that she falls asleep twenty minutes into the movie. But he’s having none of it.
“Shh. I’ll tell you later what happened.” he whispers, and she doesn’t even nod. Instead, he can watch her breathing get slower and slower and steadier and steadier. It takes less than a minute and she’s fully asleep in his arms. A little sigh escapes her throat. Her toes between his legs move once. In his arms, she slowly lets go. And Travis can now face the TV again, and actually enjoy the movie knowing that the woman in his arms is finally getting some well deserved rest. But his gentleness doesn’t remain unnoticed. Both Scott and Andrea watch Taylor drift off in his big arms, his left hand securely on her head, his right one around her waist, stroking her back over the blanket up and down every so often. Not one of the two can recall a time, in which they’ve witnessed their daughter more effortlessly safe, feeling loved and able to be herself more than in this moment.
#this is is ridiculous#homebodies#taylor swift fanfiction#taylor swift#fanfiction#fanfic#ttpd#writing#travis kelce#cozy#fluff#fluff on end lol#tayvis
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holds them gently
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#stanford pines#stanley pines#stan twins#art#THEY ARE EVERYTHING TO ME#fanart#stan pines#ford pines#also this took my ridiculously long#never made such a detailed illustration digitally#but its worth it#ID DO ANYTHING FOR THEM
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as an aroace, im particularly dangerous, because i wont fuck or marry. i only know how to kill.
#aroace#aromantic#asexual#asexuality#ace#aro#im so glad you guys are enjoying this stupid post i made at work#okay i wrote that at 3000 notes but what the FUCK is happening#10000 notes on this no effort fmk post and not one aspec i know irl#dgmw im still very happy that yall are enjoying this post but also like. come hang out with meeeeee :(#okay this is getting ridiculous. 40k notes and still no aspec irls. where the FUCK are you all
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"The nonbinary afab who goes by she/her, dresses femininely, and uses a push-up bra when I—" when you what? What's wrong with her?
Is she not nonbinary enough for you? Is the way she experiences her queerness and how she presents not perfect enough for you? Nonbinary people don't owe you androgyny, right? So why is she the exception? Why does she have to hate herself to appeal to your standards? Why is she any less trans—any less worthy of respect—cause it's "not visible"? Queer solidarity my ass. Don't spout this bullshit on Pride, man.
#god I wish I was making this up#I wish I could make up ridiculous strawmen to get mad over#to purely have this be something I conjured up#because that'd be so much more bearable#lewis' ramblings#transgender#trans community#nonbinary#transfemme#transfem#LGBT#queer#lgbtq#tucute#lgbtqia#pride month
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The worst trauma comes from those who you love
#gravity falls#book of bill#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#billford#stanley pines#stan pines#grunkle Stan#the pines twins#tw stan#genuially was hard drawing that last panel cause it kept freaking me out#ptsd guy meme#No ford did not jork it he’s just a nerd who gets nerd magazines#based off those pop teen magazines from the 2000s#sea grunkles#yeah this joke has been beat to death but idc#comic practice#I fucked up which hand was holding the box oops#uhhh ignore that#trigonometry is a ridiculously hard word to fit onto anything#‘that’s not a right angle’ YOUR MOMS NOT A RIGHT ANGLE#it was in fact NOT right for him#get it
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Over a 100???? It was just the guy in the photo a couple days ago djsjdjks
#transphobes constantly forgetting trans men exist at least will bring something fun now#a bunch of very masculine looking guys participating at this ridiculous thing
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A continuation of my previous Skywalker Twins comic - feat Yoda part 3
#okay but like how the heck do you transliterate Yoda’s laugh in a way that doesn’t look ridiculous#also wow I can’t believe how much lovely feedback I got on the first one of these! thanks yall#Star Wars#starwarsblr#leia organa#princess leia#luke skywalker#space twins#skywalker twins#han solo#yoda#force ghost#I think Hans picked up a lot of information about the force through osmosis#he’s just being a little shit#force sensitive Leia
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[a few moments later]
Both of them got the same terrible idea and nobody bothered complaining not even Marcille
#this whole bit was ridiculous#and the animation off the charts#dungeon meshi spoilers#as i watch dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#marcille#chilchuk tims#chilchuck#laios touden
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I love when my borzoi does the thing
#borzoi#echo the borzoi#sighthound#puppy#art#my art#comics#my comics#illustration#my illustration#shes so ridiculous because her nose is too long to like#see things#so she has to#throw her head back to look at something#and see with her big stupid eyes (affectionate)#i love her shes so wild and pretty and such a ridiculouus creature#im love her
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Studying linguistics is actually so wonderful because when you explain youth slang to older professors, instead of complaining about how "your generation can't speak right/ you're butchering the language" they light up and go “really? That’s so wonderful! What an innovative construction! Isn't language wonderful?"
#linguistics#gen z slang#english#as people in the reblog pointed out!#most gen z slang comes from (or was appropriated from) aave#honestly I was just excited to talk about how people in my field actually get excited about non standard uses of English#instead of ridiculing speakers#and I tagged incorrectly and didn’t point out the very real issues of language and power and appropriation inherent in modern slang#in that much of it was appropriated#and even that which experiences language change in the wider culture still originated in aave#aave is just as linguistically valid as any other English dialect because it is a proper language#and the grammar is incredible!!!#habitual be is fantastic and an excellent example of how a richer case system or a certain case can render an adverb unnecessary#and the phonology is just beautiful#anyway I’m very sorry#I fucked up
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hey, you guys wanna see something completely fucked up?
why the FUCK do these match so well. i didnt edit SHIT.
#SERIOUSLY#HOW#WHY#ITS FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE THAT ITS SO MATCHED#THERE ARE LIKE 10+ THINGS THAT MATCH#RIDICULOUS#Mob Psycho 100
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Kids on the internet now a days are literally wild.. like when I was 12 and on the internet, i was lying out my asshole I was telling people about my kids and my wife. I was talking to them about taxes and how I miss my college days.....now 12 year Olds are out here telling their AGE?!?! OR REAL NAME?!??! I was literally fucking Garry that worked at staples and had 2 children for like 4 years...
#i have so many storys from garry and his family its ridiculous#like where are your parents?!?#Someone get ur child OFF HERE
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Please tell me in the tags who's in the pfps and what you picked! If it's the same person/character think of one as a clone. What would they do to themselves?
#pls pls pls i will go through the rbs and add the most ridiculous pairs on here#poll#tumblr polls#polls#fandom polls
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i just rediscovered the pelican spider. give me 1-2 business days to stop laughing at how they're shaped and ill be normal again
#i have a skewed perspective on what makes a creature weird looking on account of being a bug fan#but this thing is so funny to look at its just so ridiculous#and it lives its whole life like this. that's awesome#quincy.txt#inverts
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Friendly reminder to everyone to always fact check your work. Even when it seems like it's right.
Case in point: I'm making a short little post about Gambian pouched rats(!). Funnily enough, they're named not for pouches in which they carry their young, but for their cheek pouches. Apparently most other rats don't have cheek pouches like hamsters and gerbils do. Neat.
Anyway, some of the literature I was reading said that Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food in their mouths. Makes sense-- they're big rats. But how much food exactly? I started looking. More sources agreed that, yeah, Gambian pouched rats can carry a lot of food! Maybe even up to 3kg over the course of 2 hours! That seems like a lot, especially considering Gambian pouched rats only weigh 1.0-1.5 kg. So I do a little more digging. Every source agrees that they can carry a lot, and they all cite that very specific number of 3kg over 2 hours.
Finally, I track down an actual paper about Gambian pouched rat cheek morphology (yes I went down a wormhole. This is my HBomberGuy moment.) The paper cites 2 sources for that 3 kg/2 hr number! Great! I find those two papers, and read them. And.
Neither paper says that. In fact, they don't really talk about Gambian pouched rat feeding habits at all. One is just an observation on natural behaviors, with a brief section on their diet but no information on how much they carry. The second paper-- written by the same guy-- was about how Gambian pouched rat behaviour changes in captivity. There was a good-sized section on cannibalism, but nothing on transporting food. So that first paper, the one that cited those other two for that 3 kg/2 hr figure, just straight up lied.
Moral of the story: always do your homework kids, especially when it sounds too good to be true. Also, Gambian pouched rats can probably carry quite a lot of food in their mouths, but whether they really can carry up to 3 kg worth of food in 2 hours remains to be seen.
#jack speaks#not an animal#not fauna#sorry not sorry for the psa#behind the scenes#srsly the amount of work i put into some of these posts is ridiculous
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