#this is how i feel and its my direct experience

[mimomentomori]

Thoughts/Theories for Arcane Season 2 Act 2: Jayvik centered

Potential spoilers so read under the cut if you've watched Act 1!

To recap, at the end of Act 1 we see Jayce, Heimer and Ekko all get messed around with by the Wild Rune, causing anything linked to the Arcane to glitch out and malfunction. Based on the visuals and what we know about the characters it's likely those three will be scattered across time and space to different degrees;

Ekko will be gone long enough to be considered dead by the Firelights but return with his time powers to deal with the final confrontation with Noxus.

Heimer may be tossed back in time to confront his past trauma and be key in getting he and Ekko back to their correct time.

Jayce... He's gonna have the hardest time. He attacked the Wild Rune with the hammer which caused a massive reaction, so as a result he may be the one separated and lost in the Arcane dimension the longest. Based on the new Arcane Survivor Skin preview and the sneak peaks we got in both the newest teaser for Act 2, he'll most likely be stuck in this dimension for an undetermined amount of time, enough that it will affect his hammer directly and fuse the arcane shard in his cuff to his skin. The question is, how does he get out?

I think Viktor will be the key to his escape. Viktor, as we saw in his last scene in Act 1, is now inherently connected to the Arcane and by extension the Void given that he was fused with the Shimmer-tainted Hexcore. His continued use of the Arcane to heal his new followers will continue to destabilise the barrier between the realm of the Arcane and the material plane, but it could also potentially save Jayce.

If we're sticking with the Jesus/religious leader angle, Viktor was already shown to be having visions since he first coughed blood down into the matrix leading to the Hexcore's creation. After being fused with the Hexcore and by extension granted direct connection to the Arcane, he's been shown to be guided by 'Sky,' or at least a memory/fraction of her that now currently exists within the Hexcore and the Arcane.

My theory is, the more he settles into his new role and newfound connection to the Arcane, I think he'll start having visions of Jayce in the Arcane dimension and endeavour to get him out. While 'affection kept them together,' I think it's more than that now. They built hextech and the gates together, and with Jayce now directly affected and trapped by the Arcane they have a mystic connection to each other through the Hexcore. Despite their abrupt and bitter parting, I think seeing the main object of his affection trapped in such a state and clearly not yet fused to it like Sky is, he'll extend his power to get Jayce out.

Inevitably, this would lead to a potential clash/confrontation over both men's involvement of destabilising the Arcane in Zaun and Piltover... But I think in the end they will always do what they feel is right to save eachother.

I also want to add real quick that Ekko's criticism of how the Hexgates were built to send all runoff and potential fall out to the Undercity is valid and a gross oversight on Jayce's part, Viktor being from the Underground would have had to have a say in its design too so he will have possibly overlooked or felt confident this detail would be unlikely as well. Jayce and Viktor were partners on the project despite Jayce being the face of it; i.e. they're both responsible for what happened with the corruption and the Wild Rune.

With time being a key theme being shown in both the opening credits and how Ekko operates, it's looking like the theory that Viktor is the mage that saves young Jayve and Zimmena may be more likely than we think. But at the same time, even though we see in Viktor's new poster that he is able to thrive for some time, the plants that they experimented in did eventually wither and this may be a problem for Viktor as the next two acts progress.

Whether this means Viktor accepts or defies this rot to be in line with League Lore... I'm putting my faith in the writers on that one.

Let me know your thoughts!

[smilesession]

I think one of the worst and most underestimated tactics a cult leader or domestic abuser can pull is triangulation, or sowing distrust between you and others. it gets really oversimplified clinically and I don’t even like the word “triangulation” that much because of how it really neuters the concept. when you live through it, its functionally just like strengthening the bars of your cage while you’re sleeping or distracted and don’t even know it’s happening. in cults or under ideological totalism, recruits are trained that their loyalty to the leader is measured by squealing on your comrades, and the same totalism takes place under domestic abuse. it looks like growing into hatred for the abuser’s previous partners at first, from the stories you’re hearing, and then it’s hatred and distrust for your own friends and acquaintances, usually eventually family, everybody. you fear everybody. and this happens very specifically and methodically to distract you from the abuser and direct all of your subconscious feelings of anger towards another, false target. you’re suddenly in conflict with random people you barely know and can’t understand why they’re so against you. if you open up to a third party, maybe they report back your concerns to the abuser and you’re punished for it, you feel utterly betrayed and hate the third party more than you hate the abuser.

in reality this is far more than one “tactic” and is functionally more of the structure itself. it’s the means by which your world is made smaller by which to justify your loyalty to the tyrant. this has been today’s “understanding my experience in domestic abuse through Jonestown studies” brain dump post

[liauditore]

what’s your thoughts on ouran? you mentioned you had a love / hate relationship with it and i think that would be interesting to hear

Oh god post that usually would be reserved for my sideblog incoming. Heads up this one might get uncomfortable, heed the tags. LONG POST.

TL;DR: it's a fun show that's neck deep in the misogyny sauce

I had the true ouran experience of watching it when I was 12 and thinking it was really funny but ultimately finished the show feeling mildly disappointed as well as being Very put off by one specific episode.

As a 12 year old I didn't really have the words to explain why but over the years I thought back to ouran again and again and the more I thought about it the more. Angry isn't really the right emotion I guess. Eyebrow raised emoji-y is more accurate.

Now that I am a bit older and wiser and have read more shoujo, I think the majority of the annoyance and confusion I felt towards ouran, especially nearing the end of the show, came from the fact that it pretty much bait-and-switches its own stance on gender roles, classism and judging by appearance. Please note that I have not rewatched ouran in many years so take all this with a grain of salt and forgive me for anything I'm straight up misremembering.

Haruhi, to me, embodies a very quintessential shoujo protagonist archetype. She's not necessarily radicalized against gender roles, but doesn't place the same importance in gendered performance as her peers. She's also viciously ambitious and doesn't downplay her own intelligence, qualities that her female peers around her have been conditioned to avoid in their cartoonishly extreme upper class upbringings.

However, the other girls' education being a direct result of their education is never really examined. All the other girls at ouran are presented as vapid and "boy-crazy" over the host club. Renge, the only major female character aside from Haruhi herself, is delegated to being comedic relief (and of course, the humour surrounding her almost always has to do with her obsession with Kyoya) with some not so subtle implications that Haruhi is above her girlish antics because Haruhi is... Better, to put it bluntly, in every way including her ability to appeal to men, which can be seen through Kyoya's neutral to distasteful opinion of Renge vs his somewhat unsubtle care and attraction towards Haruhi.

This very unflattering depiction of women other than Haruhi extends to the very queer-coded* Lobelia academy girls, who the host club spends an episode "rescuing" Haruhi from and, once again despite their group leader's more masculine look, reacts in shock and horror at their feminine interests. Eugh, makeup! Disgusting!

*pressing the "nuance" button on this one because we can't expect to apply our understanding of queer signalling on a Japanese highschooler, but the Lobelia girls are. Fairly blatant enough I feel that I almost don't even want to call it coding.

The girls in the show who aren't Haruhi are either boy-crazy and therefore stupid, side characters whose episodes are often tied to getting with a male love interest (who is always depicted as "plain" compared to the desirable men of the host club), rivals in love against Haruhi (like Eclair) or silly evil lesbians.

Speaking of the silly evil lesbians, I do think it's interesting how many times the show feels the need to restate Haruhi's heterosexuality through her endless amounts of blatant disinterest in her fangirls. I briefly wrote once on how patriarchal standards have an amount of gender-nonconformity that can be accepted with women, but violently withdraws that acceptance when it can be even slightly confused with signalling queerness. Every second boomer dad wants a tomboy daughter, yet none of them seem to want trans sons. Idk, food for thought.

It's also fascinating to me that Utena is so much older than Ouran, yet almost feels like a direct response to Ouran's pitfalls at times e.g. the "not like other girls" logic of Ouran's world that pits women against eachother. The only women deserving of sympathy are those who don't act as a "threat" to Haruhi's desireability, everyone else is stupid and beneath her or an evil bitch.

The one woman who is always shown as intelligent and worthy of respect outside of Haruhi herself is Haruhi's deceased mother. Interesting that she had to be dead and more of a concept and motivator for Haruhi instead of.. a character.

If the show was just a marina and the diamonds girls simulator that would be one thing but what I find even more insidious is that not only does it not respect its female cast, Haruhi herself is almost. Instructed? In the show to uphold patriarchal rhetoric, when she entered as a neutral force. With the fact that she acts as the audience stand-in, I find this just the smallest bit troubling.

ESPECIALLY. when talking about the specific episode that really gave me the "I don't like this alot but I can't describe why" feelings when I was 12. Everything else in the show I can look past but this episode genuinely pissed me the fuck off when I was 12 and pisses me off even more now.

I'm talking of course about the "better remember your place in society or men will rape you!!"

In episode 8, the host club visits the beach but instead of the fun beach episode I thought was coming up, 12 year old me was hit was Haruhi being scolded by Tamaki for trying to defend a group of girls from ruffians, simply because she is a girl. Haruhi obviously gets mad.

This in of itself is fine, Tamaki's been shown to be an idiot and very deep in the misogyny/classism sauce, and the way this show mocks that is why I really like him.

But Tamaki is supposed to be IN THE RIGHT this episode, as later Kyoya pretends that he's going to rape Haruhi to teach her a lesson about why women shouldn't confront men I guess. Which, of course, implies quite a lot of very strange things in a show made for young girls, including that if you just abide by gender expectations that are Good and Keep You Safe you... won't be raped? Haruhi even thanks Kyoya for PRETENDING HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER ?

It's this. Very strange and hypocritical moment for this show and really, really soured Kyoya's character for me -- which is a shame cus I do think he's one of the most interesting club members. I'll never not fume about this episode man I literally got into fights with friends over this episode being garbage as a kid and it was one of the smartest opinions I had at that age.

It's also gross to me that this whole thing revolved around, in the first place, Haruhi trying to defend other girls. In a show that keeps isolating Haruhi from them. So to recap 1. DO NOT seek out relationships with other women, they are vapid and won't understand you, certainly not more than the men in your life and 2. If you defend other women (from men), you're being stupid. Get a man to handle it instead, because it's men's duty to defend women, not yours. and if you violate this natural order you deserve to get raped. Hashtag some gender roles are good, actually.

I also have more thoughts on the way it's presented as if being raped as a woman is the worst thing imagineable but Renge's stalker tendencies towards Kyoya are played up for laughs. Shrugs.

The episode even ends with Haruhi saying she wasn't afraid because she knew Kyoya wasn't going to do it, but then ending up in a curled up helpless ball anyway because of. some thunder. really awesome. While I don't have any problem with exploring Haruhi's vulnerability, we never see any of the boys in such a state, reinforcing that this isn't about dropping the facade of unemotional masculinity but Haruhi being... a girl. Barf.

Even completely disregarding that episode, the messaging is. Strange to say the least. I do think this one might be the thing that gets me shot because Tamaki Does come around to appreciating Haruhi as a person and not simply a "woman", but the fact remains that she still acts as a "love interest" from beginning to end. And the whole dynamic of. Haruhi going from completely disinterested to fond of Tamaki over time, and Tamaki learning to abandon his playboy ways and see Haruhi as a person is totally fine and okay. BUT it is a little bit. Oh so NOW you want to talk about seeing women as people.

I feel that I've been. very focused on the hate part of the love hate and I'll be real nowadays that is very much the dominant half. I still like the show just for nostalgia value, the humour, as well as the host club members themselves. Morii and Honey specifically have a really awesome dynamic and I wish we got to see Honey go berserker more but it is what it is. Kyoya, rapey moment aside, is also really fun and maybe one of those characters that made me realise what kind of tropes I like. I will not stand a word of Hikaru and Kaoru slander, those boys are awesome and their incestuous club personas are a great parody of how performative the club really is, and through that how performative society as a whole is when dealing with attraction as a concept. And I actually really like the side characters too, the emo catboy and Renge in particular.

But I'd be lying if I said it wasn't perhaps one of the most anti-feminist bait and switches I'd ever seen in my life.

Haruhi's not even gender-nonconforming!! She's just a normie with a normal amount of care put into gendered presentation but because she's in the psychopath rich people school she SEEMS gender-nonconforming!! Which is fine as I've said before I think a lot of shoujo protagonists are like Haruhi in that their gender is more "I just work here" at best and something used to oppress them at worst, but Haruhi goes out of her way to present more feminine the moment she leaves the school gates.

Big words for this show to come out swinging saying gender roles and expectations attached to them are dumb when its so terrified of actually tackling them. I don't require everything I watch to be queer queer gay gay homosexual transgender beam attack but like?? Why have Haruhi say she dgaf and then have her present feminine anyway? Especially when it's been highlighted to us that her family is dirt poor, yet she still has the money for hair extensions? You're telling me she decided to cut ALL OF HER HAIR OFF FOR A TINY PIECE OF GUM. for no reason at all when she could've easily just cut it into a bob??

FTR I do still like Haruhi which is what makes this all the more frustrating, especially since she's one of the few female anime characters who we're told is supposed to be masc-presenting and actually could pass as that. Mf questioned the system of gender and then proceeded to do fuckall with it. Gets forced into crossdressing but underlines it with "but im not a lesbian" the whole way through. What cowardice. What theory and no practice. What bark but no bite. What a non-theme. Haruhi is the opposite of punk. Centrist ass take of an anime.

Ahem. Biases aside. I just feel like it fails as a romance, fails saying anything substantial about gender or class and ultimately ends up being meaningless fluff at best and pro-rapist and anti-woman at worst.

[vilevenom]

Shadow gets captured by someone, is tested on and tortured. Sonic and gang try and rescue him. After they find him, Sonic panics because his boyfriend is near death.

Idk how to end this lol

Hello, Anon!

I'm going to assume you were the same anon from my previous prompt/ask? I sure hope so, 'cause as much as I love writing hurt Shadow, I only have one idea for this particular prompt, lol I hope you like it!~ P.S - I may have gone a little ham on the torture scenes? Uhm...not too descriptive, but enough, I think, so please be mindful of that.

Shadow groaned as he slowly came back to consciousness, his eyelids feeling heavy as he blinked groggily against the dim lighting in the room he was in. The heavy, sluggish feeling permeating his limbs was not one he was familiar with, as usually, if he was knocked out, his healing factor would kick into overdrive and fix most of what was ailing him. This time, however, something seemed to be off.

"Ah, you're awake."

With a disgruntled grunt, Shadow turned his gaze in the direction the voice had come from. An involuntary noise of surprise left him when he found Doctor Starline, of all people, stood before him.

"You were crushed to death," the disoriented hedgehog grumbled, squinting at the doctor, as if his eyes were deceiving him.

"So everyone thinks," Starline said with a shrug, wandering from the doorway he'd been stood in to stand in front of Shadow. It was then that the dark hedgehog got a proper good look at the doctor. A rather nasty looking scar ran from near his temple, down towards his jaw, while he visibly walked with a limp, and one shoulder didn't seem to sit quite right in its socket. The doctor smirked lightly at noticing Shadows scrutinizing stare, gesturing towards his injuries. "It's rather nasty, what being trapped under rubble will do to a person, isn't it?"

"Death would've suited you better," Shadow agreed, a sharp, dark grin of his own splitting his lips. For his trouble the doctor snarled, reaching forward to grab at the collar Shadow hadn't realized was secured around his neck. He choked as the doctor yanked him forward in the chair he'd only just realized he was strapped to, still a bit drowsy and unsure as to how the doctor was able to manhandle him so easily.

"Enjoy your little barbs while you can," Starline snapped, tugging the collar hard enough so Shadow visibly gagged, "I don't think you'll be so chatty once I've gotten started with you."

"And what is it you plan to do with me?" Shadow gasped once Starlin let him go and took a swift step back.

"Well," Starline hummed, suddenly sounding giddy, which set Shadow's quills on edge, "Finish the good Doctor Robotnik's work, of course."

"Ivo?" Shadow murmured, confused.

"What? No, no," Starline snorted, flipping on a few additional lights so the room was properly illuminated, "That fool doesn't have proper vision for this sort of work. He's too fixated on that damnable blue hedgehog and his robots." Starline chuckled as Shadow took in the medical equipment and monitors littered around the room. "No. Gerald Robotnik, of course."

"The professor was trying to find a cure for his granddaughter," Shadow snarled, yanking roughly against the bonds holding him down, anger spiking at the fact that they did not give way. He barred his fangs at Starline as the doctor chuckled at his struggle.

"True. But, his research has so many other applications. First, Ivo's additional notes about your Black Arms DNA sheds some fascinating light on your abilities. Add to that what Gerald was already experimenting with on the ARK, and you have so much hidden potential within you." Starline strode back over to Shadow, flicking the dark hedgehog in the nose with a smirk and simply chuckling at the low growl he received for it. "I plan to dig deep into that research and see what makes you tick."

~

"Hey, have you seen Shadow?"

Tails glanced up from his work bench with a light frown. "No. Why?"

Sonic sighed, tapping his foot in irritation. "He was supposed to come by, like, half an hour ago. We were planning on going for a run, and then maybe grabbing lunch after."

"He's late for a date?" Tails teased, earning a light blush from his older brother.

"Shut up," Sonic grumbled, rubbing at his warm cheek.

Tails simply chuckled, going back to his work. "Relax. He probably got caught up doing something with Rouge, or called away by GUN for a mission."

"Yeah, you're probably right," Sonic sighed, pulling his phone from his quills, "He just usually texts me when he can't show up to something…"

~

The scream that rang through whatever base Starline had Shadow hidden away in was loud, and riddled with pain. It wasn't a sound that Shadow let lose willingly, either. The hybrid had discovered, once he'd managed to properly wake up and become a bit more lucid, Starline had added some sort of devices to his inhibitors that nearly cut him off entirely from his natural chaos energy. He could only assume that the collar around his neck added to their potency, or was some sort of separate contraption that weakened him on its own. Either way, with his new accessories, Shadow found he was at the doctors mercy, unable to even muster enough strength to break the leather straps binding him to his seat. As such, the doctor was taking full advantage, having attached little electrodes to various spots on Shadows body to "test his electrical resistance", according to the doctor.

Shadow was fully convinced that the doctor was just having fun torturing him while he was unable to defend himself.

"Interesting," the doctor hummed, scribbling down notes while leaving the little device that controlled the electrodes running at a low voltage, watching as Shadow's muscles twitched and convulsed involuntarily, while the dark hedgehog did his best not to bite his own tongue off.

~

"Hey, Rouge!"

"Hello, Blue," Rouge replied with a smile, looking up from the magazine she was reading, "What can I do for you?" She was sat at a fancy little cafe, conveniently across the road from a jewelry store that Sonic had no doubt the bat was scoping out to rob. However, that really wasn't his concern at the moment.

"Just wondering if Shadow was called off to work on some secret GUN mission? We were supposed to go out a day or two ago, and I haven't heard from him. Normally he'd at least text me to let me know he wasn't going to be around for a few days," Sonic asked, leaning casually against the table, trying not to betray just how worried he really was.

"Hmm," Rouge hummed as she set aside her magazine. "Can't say I've heard from him, either, honestly. But, you know Shadow. Half the time when he does get called away I don't even know about it until he gets back. I'd say, give it at least a week before you start calling in the guard to find your lost boyfriend," she teased, offering Sonic a saucy little wink and chuckling at the flush that spread over Sonic's muzzle.

~

After three days (at least, Shadow thought it had been three days. There wasn't exactly a good way for him to tell time in the room he was trapped in), Starline had apparently gotten tired of Shadow's screaming and had stuffed a gag into his mouth. His mouth had long since gone dry, and his jaw ached from how it was being held open by the bit between his teeth. Starline seemed to find even that interesting, as he turned Shadow's head this way and that, scribbling down little notes and muttering to himself as he did.

Shadow became grateful for the gag as Starline finally brought out a set of scalpels and began to cut into and peel back the flesh of his arm. It gave him something to dig his teeth into as he tried to keep his mind off the way Starline dug his fingers into exposed muscle and garbled the rough screams that ripped apart his already shredded throat.

~

"Aw. Why so blue, Sonic?"

"Very funny, Knux."

The echidna chuckled as he strode over to Sonic, flopping onto the grass next to his mopey looking friend. "Couldn't not take the opportunity," Knuckled offered with a shrug, "Seriously, though. What's up? You don't normally visit on your own."

"Can't a guy want to visit his reclusive friend on his floating island without an ulterior motive?" Sonic scoffed, feigning a look of offense.

Knuckles simply raised an eyebrow at him, and Sonic immediately deflated.

"…Shadow hasn't messaged me in a few days."

"Well, damn, guess we gotta call out the troops," Knuckles snorted, grinning at the sharp glare Sonic shot him. "C'mon, you know I'm teasing. Did you talk to Rouge?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"She said to wait at least a week before I get worried."

"Well, then?"

Sonic groaned, shoving himself to his feet. "I know! Why do you think I'm here? C'mon, spar with me. I gotta get my mind off of it. I don't like you being more level headed than me."

Knuckles chuckled, rising to his own feet with a smirk. "Okay. Just remember, you asked for this ass kicking."

~

Occasionally Starline would let Shadow rest. Sleep would claim him almost immediately, once whatever painful stimulus Starline was using on him was taken away. It was weird for Shadow who very rarely, if ever, truly felt the need to sleep. He certainly enjoyed curling up in his bed at the end of a long day, but it wasn't truly a necessity the way it was for others. But here, in the dank room he'd been trapped in for who knew how long, his body craved it to the point of nearly making him pass out even in the middle of whatever torture Starline had cooked up for him that day.

Generally, when Shadow passed out, his mind went blank, floating in a sea of dark oblivion. However, once in a while he would dream. He knew he had been dreaming, because when he woke he could vaguely recall the blurry images his mind conjured to try and comfort him. Most of which consisted of the color blue in various shades.

At one point, before he could fully pass out, Starline had ripped the gag from his mouth and dumped a glass of water down his throat, which had made him sputter and gag. The doctor had tsked at him and said some asinine comment about Shadow being a mess, which the hedgehog had let drift in one ear and out the other as he coughed red tinted water onto the doctors white jacket. He grinned at the repulsed look Starline had shot him, before the gag was unceremoniously shoved back into his mouth.

Blissfully, the doctor let him pass out for what had to have been at least a few hours after that.

~

"I brought you some cupcakes, Sonic!"

Sonic offered Amy a smile, taking the little box of baked goods from his friend. "Thanks, Ams. I assume you heard through the grapevine that I've been a bit on edge."

"Tails might've mentioned to me that you've been worried about Shadow," Amy conceded, sitting at the kitchen table. "Did you want to talk about it?"

Sonic sighed, flopping into a chair across from Amy and digging into the box to pull out a bright pink cupcake. "It's dumb."

"It's not, if you're worried."

"Do I even need to be worried?" Sonic peeled away the paper wrapper on the base of the cupcake, "Shadow's a big hedgehog. He can take care of himself. I know he can handle pretty much anything, and he's gone off the radar for weeks at a time before."

"…But?" Amy prompted, watching Sonic unceremoniously shove the entire cupcake into his mouth with a slight grimace.

"But," Sonic echoed around his mouthful of cupcake, pausing to take a moment to chew and swallow before he continued, "Something about this time just feels…different. Like something is off."

"Well, speaking from experience in listening to your gut feelings, maybe something is up. I know everyone else has told you not to worry, but would it really hurt to have Tails run a quick scan to see where Shadow is? His phone has a tracker in it, doesn't it? If he's in an area you know GUN is working, then there really is nothing to worry about," Amy offered, holding a napkin out to Sonic.

"Thanks, Ams," Sonic said with a smile, taking the napkin to wipe icing off his muzzle, "You always know just what I need to hear."

~

Shadow didn't know when Starline had moved him from the chair to an examination table, but the very idea that he had been so out of it to not notice such a drastic move was worrying to him. His mind was becoming more muddled the longer he was trapped here, and he could barely feel his extremities anymore from how numb they'd become over time. Slowly, the thought that he might die in this dingy room crept into his mind.

When Starline appeared next to the examination table in a full doctors smock and facemask with a scalpel in hand, the thought slammed into the forefront of his mind like a freight train. He struggled weakly against his bonds as the doctor lowered the scalpel towards his abdomen, his mind screaming at him that he couldn't succumb to such a fate. He couldn't let this crazed asshole pull him apart and kill him in such an undignified way. Maria would be so disappointed in him. Sonic would never know what happened. He'd think Shadow had abandoned him.

"Enough of that," Starline snarled, lifting the scalpel, only to stab it viciously into Shadows bicep for his effort, the dark hedgehog letting a garbled wail of pain out around his gag. Starline left the little makeshift dagger in his arm and grabbed another, before proceeding to cut into Shadow's belly.

The pain pulled Shadow into oblivion, his tired and damaged body unable to keep his mind awake as Starline began to poke around in his guts.

~

"I…I can't find him," Tails admitted after his tracking program ran for the fifth time. Sonic growled lowly behind him, while Amy let out a distressed little noise.

"Scour every known Eggman base for any trace of him. I'm going to call Commander Tower," Sonic snapped, suddenly wishing he'd listened to his gut sooner. Or, at the very least, spoken to Amy first.

"He could be on a blackout mission," Tails offered, turning to watch as Sonic walked out of his work room.

"That's why I'm going to call the Commander," Sonic ground out, pausing in the doorway, "Please, Tails. Look at the bases. Something isn't right. I can feel it."

~

"Wake up."

Shadow groaned as he owlishly blinked open his eyes, squinting against the light that was shoved in his face. He made an inquisitive noise as Starline moved the light away, his mask tugged down to show a rather unhinged grin. Shadow frowned as much as he could around the gag in his mouth as Starline brandished something at him, the doctors hand dripping red.

It took far too long for Shadow's sluggish brain to realize Starline was holding one of the hybrids organs in his hand, still connected to the hedgehog, but only just barely. He couldn't really tell which it was with the way his vision was turning dark around the edges and his eyes were having trouble focusing. Shadow made a wounded noise as Starline squeezed it gently.

"Isn't this fascinating?" Starline asked, sounding borderline manic, "You're still alive and conscious with your organs being removed. True enough that they're still functionally attached, but the implications!" He let out a crazed little laugh, setting the organ to the side. "I can see why Doctor Robotnik thought you were the key to immortality. Your body's ability to heal and maintain functionality is incredible."

Shadow let out a weak growl at the way Starline spoke and got into his face, not in the least bit regretful as the doctor moved back to twist the scalpel he'd stabbed into his arm previously. At least Starline wasn't in his face anymore.

~

"We found him!"

"How long will it take to get a task force put together?"

"How did Starline survive?!"

"Move it!"

Sonic's quills bristled at the commotion around him, his friends and GUN agents alike running around behind him. But his focus was solely on one thing - the tiny dot on the screen telling him exactly where Shadow was.

A harsh burst of wind and a blur of blue whipped through the room as Sonic took off, ignoring the shouts called after him to wait until the others had a plan of attack.

He had a plan. Attack.

~

The next time Shadow woke, he was pleasantly surprised to find that Starline had the decency to put his organs back inside him, even if he could still tell that his torso was split open and on display to the world. He figured that the damp feeling on the table that had soaked into his fur was likely blood. He wondered idly how much longer he could survive without food or water, with the wounds he'd been sustaining, when he had barely a trickle of chaos energy flowing into his body.

Perhaps he truly would die in this room. At least he'd get to see Maria and Gerald again. That would be nice. Though, he was sorry he'd never get to explain to Sonic that he hadn't meant to abandon him. He'd actually been looking forward to their stupid little date of a race and chili dogs. That conversation seemed like so long ago, now. Sonic had been bouncing on his toes as he'd proposed his idea to Shadow, a bashful little blush on his muzzle, despite the fact that it was no different than any other time they had spent time together. Shadow had found it stupidly endearing.

He choked quietly around his gag as he felt tears build up in his eyes. For everything that Starline had done to him, he'd not cried. But, the thought of disappointing Sonic, of not getting to speak to him again, had finally brought him to tears. He tried to hold them back, not wanting to give the doctor the satisfaction of seeing him cry, but the tears dripped down his temples unbidden as he stared forlornly up at the ceiling.

The tears, however, came to an abrupt stop as an explosion sounded somewhere in the distance, but close enough that the room shook. Shadow gasped as a heart monitor near the table he was strapped to crashed to the floor, wide eyes trained on the door. There were only two things that an explosion like that could be; Starline fucking up another experiment somewhere in the hell hole Shadow was trapped in, or a rescue team. Shadow desperately hoped it was a rescue team.

The door to the room burst open not a moment later, Starline looking haggard and frenzied as he stumbled into the room. Shadow watched him in trepidation as the doctor raced around the room as quickly as his limp would let him, gathering notebooks and loose papers. Shadow could hear him muttering to himself as he stuffed everything he gathered into a bag, his gaze finally landing on Shadow as he turned to leave the room. Shadow squirmed against the bonds holding him down as Starline stalked towards him, his body still too weak and damaged to break free. His heart began to beat wildly as Starline snatched up another scalpel, his sluggish mind idly wondering if Starline could see just how quickly his heart was pumping with his chest splayed open as it was.

Shadow could tell Starline was saying something, though whether it was supposed to be directly at him or to himself he had no idea, the words fading into a buzz in his ears. His focus had zeroed in on the scalpel as Starline raised it above his head, obviously planning to stab Shadow to death with the tiny implement. The urge to shut his eyes was strong, but Shadow wanted to stare death in the eye as it came for him. He let out a low snarl as the scalpel came down towards him, only to blink in surprise as Starline disappeared from his view and a blue blur raced passed him.

Sonic.

Shadow squirmed weakly against his bonds, his ears swiveling towards the sound of something smashing in the room and the soft sound of shattered glass raining down on the floor. He could hear Sonic growling, which, even in the most dire of situations Shadow had never heard before. Starline screamed something, with only the sound of more equipment in the room being destroyed answering him. He tried to turn his head, only to wince at the pain that caused, and looked back towards the ceiling. Apparently, at some point, Starline had sliced into Shadow's neck around his collar, most likely when he'd been passed out.

His ears perked as Starline screamed again, though it was abruptly cut off, followed by the doctor flying across the room, back into Shadows line of sight, and smashing into a shelf of random equipment. He slumped to the ground, obviously knocked out from the impact. Shadow let out a vindictive little growl at the sight, pleased as punch that Sonic blatantly didn't go easy on Starline, if the smattering of red, weeping wounds on the doctor was anything to go by. He jerked as Sonic strode into view, wriggling against his bonds as an uncharacteristic whine left him, finally catching the blue hedgehogs attention.

"Shadow!" Sonic gasped, racing to the table to immediately begin working on untying Shadows bonds. "What did he do to you?! Chaos," he muttered, staunchly ignoring the fact that he could see inside his partner.

Once one of Shadows hands was free he weakly lifted it to his mouth to rip the gag away from his mouth, working his sore jaw with a low groan. "He wanted to see what made me 'tick'," Shadow finally croaked, his throat revolting against the simple sentence. It felt like Starline had stuffed it full of razorblades. Maybe he had.

"That's not funny, Shadow," Sonic growled, finishing off with freeing Shadow's feet. He dared not move the hybrid until the GUN unit finally arrived. He was fairly certain that if Shadow even sat up right now his guts would go spilling across the floor. He moved back up the table, trying his best to focus on his partners face, and not the horrific evidence of what had happened to him over the last five days. He let a shaky hand slowly card through Shadow's quills - one of the only parts of his body not soaked in blood. He heaved a heavy breath, fighting back tears as they gathered in his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"What for?" Shadow asked, tugging idly at the collar still wrapped around his neck. He wanted to rip it off, but without knowing exactly how it was effecting his body, he dared not, given how close he believed he probably was to death at the moment.

"For not coming sooner," Sonic gasped, ducking his head as the tears forced their way down his cheeks. "When you didn't show up for our date, or even text, I thought something might be wrong. But everyone told me to wait. That it wasn't unusual for you to drop off the radar without notice. I should've listened to my gut. I should've looked for you sooner."

"Hush," Shadow murmured, hating how his hand trembled as he lifted it to brush against Sonic's face, frowning as it smeared blood across a peach cheek. "S'not your fault," he sighed, swallowing against the dryness in his throat, only to cough quietly after doing so and wincing at the pain that shot through his abdomen from the action. He wheezed and Sonic panicked, clutching at Shadow's hand with wide, teary eyes.

"The rest of the team should be here soon, then we'll get you to a hospital," Sonic reassured, "You'll be okay."

"I know," Shadow hummed, he ear swiveling towards the doorway at the tell tale sound of boots running down a hallway. GUN had arrived.

~

The path to healing was a slow one that drove Shadow insane.

He'd been taken away to a GUN facility to be patched up, and for his recovery regime. Sonic had nearly been barred from visiting, only for Rouge to point out that she or Omega would just sneak him in if GUN didn't allow him clearance. Thus, Commander Tower gave Sonic a special clearance card that would allow him to the medical wing, much to the blue hedgehogs delight. Shadow had no doubt that Sonic was going to use the card to get into much more than the medical wing while he was in recovery.

Stitches were not an experience that Shadow was especially fond of, however the GUN doctor who had patched him up had been worried that putting him under anesthesia while working on him might just finish him off, so he'd been awake during the entire ordeal of having his abdomen stitched closed. Truly, he felt like a cadaver, with the borderline y-incision stitches the doctor had done on him. Sonic had made an mindless comment about how at least Starline had cut him open underneath his chest fluff, so that was mostly undamaged. The distasteful joke had made Shadow laugh, and his laugh had eased a little bit of the stress that had made itself home on Sonic's face, much to his relief.

The inhibitor ring adjustments were the worst parts of what Starline had done to him, in Shadow's opinion. He had used Gerald and Ivo's research notes to create the little add-ons, and they had screwed with his chaos energy enough that they had to be removed one at a time over a lengthy period of time, otherwise his body may go haywire and shut down at the sheer amount of energy that normally occupied it. Luckily, however, the collar was able to be removed right away. It's only purpose appeared to be to physically weaken Shadow, since a lack of chaos energy would only slow him down.

Meanwhile, Starline had been locked up in the deepest, darkest cell that GUN unofficially had. For once, when Shadow made an off-color joke about burying Starline alive, Sonic stayed silent, instead of his usual quip about how everyone should have the opportunity to be free. He'd simply squeezed Shadow's hand gently and stared off into space. Perhaps, just this once, Sonic had changed his mind about the possibility of redemption.

And that was what was slowly, truly driving Shadow insane. Sonic had become quiet since the whole ordeal. He stuck close by Shadow's side during his physiotherapy, offering quiet little comments of encouragement, and he would tell Shadow about his day and read to him while he was trapped in the hospital bed. However, gone were his boisterous declarations of adventure and sarcastic little remarks about the people he came across during his day to day activities. It was like the light in Sonic's soul had been snuffed out while Shadow had been detained.

One day, Shadow had simply had enough.

"I'm not dead, you know."

"…what?" Sonic stopped in his explanation of the latest project Tails was working on while the two of them sat in the GUN cafeteria after one of Shadow's physio appointments.

"I'm not dead. I didn't die. You're talking to me like you would speak to a grave."

Sonic blinked in surprise, sitting back and up at the table, quickly shaking his head. "No I'm not."

"You are. You're speaking to me the way I speak to Maria about my day. You're soft and somber, and it's driving me nuts." Shadow was never really one to mince words, especially not when speaking to Sonic.

"I…I'm sorry?" Sonic looked genuinely confused, his hands falling into his lap, "I didn't realize…"

"I know what you saw was a lot. And I am sorry that you had to see it at all. But it wasn't your fault, and I survived. I need you to be boisterous, and loud, and annoying. I need you to be you, Sonic. I need you to run amok through some top secret area of the base and bring me back a pen from Commander Tower's office, just because you know it will annoy him. I need you to bring a stack of comics into my room and leave them scattered everywhere because you're too excited to finish reading an issue before you move on to the next, while trying to explain the ridiculous plot to me. Please…I feel like Starline killed you when he was trying to kill me."

"Shadow," Sonic breathed, reaching across the table to gently take the hybrids hands into his. "I'm sorry. I just…When I saw you on that table, I really thought I was going to lose you. I guess I still feel like you could slip through my fingers if I hold on too tight."

"Once the last inhibitor is fixed, you can hold on as tight as you want," Shadow soothed, brushing his thumbs across the back of Sonic's hands, "Moderate pressure can currently be handled at this time."

Sonic snorted at Shadow's deadpan joke, a short peel of laughter escaping him as the hybrid offered him a short, lopsided smile.

"There you are."

Sonic sighed and brought one of Shadow's hands up to his lips to press a soft kiss to the back of it. "Well then…I hope you're prepared for me to go full koala once you're all better."

"I don't think I'd have it any other way."

[connorsjorts]

cyberlife putting magnets in connors feet is canon to me now. i left the fandom some time ago, now im back, so i can enjoy all the fanworks that came out while my brainrot was dormant. but im so shocked at how widespread the notion that hankcon is problematic now is. it was the main ship a couple of years ago? and now the main tag is flooded with negativity. and idk if my claims hold any water, but i feel like the dynamics that were quite commonly used for hank x connor now are used for reed900? when did this fandom decide that two characters which 1) appear rarely and only to be an asshole and 2) doesn't even have any lines are a better ship than those two bastards who are literally insane about each other? (none of their interactions are normal, but its so in character for both of them, i love it) anyway, i hope you didnt have to experience any of said negativity and are doing well, cause i loved your fanfics <3

Honestly I forget that Connor’s magnet feet aren’t canon—how that clumsy-ass android who botched a barrel-roll into a first story window managed to keep his feet planted on a moving train is the biggest plot hole in all of DBH.

Welcome back to the fandom! Sometimes I wish I had been here from the very beginning, because even when I showed up in 2020 it was like this. I remember wandering into the ship tag, naive and desperate for conktent, and finding nothing but “hankcon shippers are perverts” and literal comparisons between a thirty year old man and a six year old boy 🥲 I pretty much avoided tumblr entirely because of it and stayed exclusively on twitter the first couple years! (RIP.) I feel like tumblr has actually gotten better since then? That said, in the four years I’ve been here I’ve somehow managed to avoid any direct hate, probably partially through luck and partially because I’m not afraid to use the block button. It’s never personal, it’s just that I am here for one thing and one thing only and that is old man yaoi. I would also advise staying off of ig and tiktok for fandom content because good god, people are MEAN over there.

As for reed900, the ship doesn’t really do much for me personally, but one thing that I really love about it is that it’s basically fanfiction of fanfiction. Like, fans basically created that ship and even their characters out of next to nothing, and made something so compelling that it’s now the fandom’s most popular ship on ao3! That is so cool! As someone who doesn’t care about the DBH canon like, at all, and is way more into the fans’ creations and creativity, I have a deep appreciation for reed900 shippers even if I don’t subscribe to their newsletter. 

I do agree that it’s very similar to the hankcon dynamic, which, who can blame them? It’s a great dynamic. And I don’t begrudge anyone for not wanting to ship Hank and Connor. But when it comes to people who ship reed900 but actively hate hankcon, those who call hankcon disgusting and cry about having to see it while never seeming to take any actual steps to avoid it? I dunno, I smell ageism in their hearts, and to them I say—old people are hot, and it’s not our fault if you have bad taste in men 😌

Thank you so much for your kind words about my fics 💖

[puppysdog]

i do wish there was a way i could talk about how i cant trust anyone using the pan label due to the years of transphobic bullshit i got from that side as a bisexual, and how its so normalized and modernized to say pan instead of bi now, especially by big name companies and celebrities, that the transphobia is making a come back because we never were fully able to address the issues with the online resurgence origin of pansexual without being called mean transphobic bisexuals. like it’s heartbreaking and infuriating that these should be my queer siblings but instead i get told that im transphobic for being bi, something thats both my gender AND sexuality, because a more “inclusive” term came around, despite the fact that bisexuality has always been inclusive. I WANT to be in solidarity but how am i supposed to do shit when some 18 year old thinks theyre higher and mightier and the top of the inclusivity chain for using a different label and erasing years upon years of queer history for bisexuals

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: violence mention / death mention / ]

Will never stop thinking about how Leo, all alone in an endless void and being beaten again and again and again by the only other living thing around, still finds comfort in that space. The situation he was in was completely hopeless, and in any other circumstances he would not have escaped, at least not fast enough to save him from permanent (or even fatal) damage, be it physical or mental.

And yet, despite the bleakness of his situation, despite the agony and helplessness, all he needs is one glance at a crumbled photograph, one glance to remember his family, and that’s enough of a reason for him to smile.

Maybe that’s why his powers center around manipulating space - because no matter how much space is between them, no matter how dire his own situation may be, just the thought of his family, alive and okay, is enough to give Leo hope.

[silvesi]

✨️MESMER PROPAGANDA!!✨️

Daily enrichment for Fedsy (On his way to flirt with and manipulate the workers of New Kaineng so they will let him try a sip of the tasty green liquid in the power plant core 😫)

[mrpenguinpants]

Omg you're back again hello 👀 how have you been????

Big mood on the "man I wish this author would finish their fic" LOL I've been rereading my own wiring recently and going wtf. Where's the rest of it?

For a limited time only babyyy

But I've been good. Extremely busy but it's okay, the pto is worth it. That's what I keep telling myself at least :) but how are you??? Is anything interesting happening? New developments perhaps 👀

The funny thing is that I've actually been talking with a few mutuals, and they've all told me that they recently went back to re-read their drafts. Maybe it's something in the air or we're all feeling a bit nostalgic? Or because everyone is on break since it's summer.

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

i love my friends so much. i feel like yesterday i had a lot of shit going on in my head and i woke up to my friend explaining things in a way that put my mind at ease. i dont feel as anxious anymore because i know i was overthinking. i think my dad said it best when he told me that he thought my wonderful brain of mine just wants to think problems are bigger than they actually are. he is right! im just inexperienced in life and half of the time im scared im doing something wrong but- HEY. i need to be more confident in making mistakes. making mistakes doesn't define me as a person!! i need to stop worrying about doing life right and just live for the sake of living and doing what makes me happy!!!!!!!

[glitteronadumpsterfire]

44 mickvince something mafia related plbs ill love you forever sorry for being so demanding 🥺

[not sure if this is what you intended but here you go]

---Two weeks before the wedding---

While the whole city of Naples was asleep, Michele was sitting at the pier under the crescent moon and cloudless sky. The night was unusually quiet, and all that could be heard was the sound of the waves lazily going back and forth against the shore.

“How does it feel, Vincé?” Asked Michele in monotone, after Vincenzo sat down next to him.

“What do you mean?”

“Your wedding with Arianna. Have you already forgotten?”

“No, I haven't.” Vincenzo looked up to the sky, spotting a few stars. “But I'm not really enthusiastic about it, you know? I barely know her.” He added, shrugging, turning towards Michele, staring at his icy blues.

The other man turned around and sighed.

“I think she feels the same, too.” Continued Vincenzo, gazing at the sea. “We're getting married just to please our parents, after all.”

Michele stayed in silence.

“What's wrong, Miché?”

“Nothing, it's just...” Michele exhaled. “I don't know what I'm going to do after you get married and move there. Maybe I should just... Get it over with already.” He suddenly got up, but Vincenzo stopped him, seizing his arm.

“Don't even try to think about it!” The blond raised his voice.

Michele stared at him, saying nothing, the corners of his eyes filling with tears.

Vincenzo moved his hand to Michele's. “Ti amo, Miché. I always will.”

The raven-haired man brought his fingers to Vincenzo's cheek, before the blond got closer and pressed his lips against Michele's.

---One week before the wedding---

“Ciao.” Said a boyish familiar voice.

“Ciao...” Michele sighed, without diverting his gaze from the sea. “How's the nose, Vincé?”

“Not as bad as the other day, I think it's healing.” Informed Vincenzo, sitting down next to Michele.

“It's all my fault.” Murmured Michele. “I'm sorry.” He turned towards the blond, whose hazel eyes were glistening under the moonlight.

Vincenzo frowned. “No way! Why would this be your fault?”

“You got beaten up by your father because he saw you hanging out with me! The real question is, how is this not my fault?” Michele's blue eyes began to become watery. “I should just... We should just stop seeing each other, before one of us ends up dead!”

Vincenzo exhaled. “Miché, don't say that...” He rested his hand on Michele's shoulder. Michele took Vincenzo's hand on his and squeezed it.

A gunshot was heard in the distance.

“We should go home. Now.” The dark haired man said, looking at the blond boy in the eyes.

---Two nights before the wedding---

Michele was feeling restless: it was three in the morning and Vincenzo still had to show up. He was shivering, despite it being a summer's night in Naples. He felt like something bad had happened to his lover.

He shot a glance back at the coast: he never felt so happy to be proven wrong, as he realized that Vincenzo was running towards him.

Michele got up and pulled the blond boy in his arms, hugging him and kissing his face all over. Vincenzo squeezed him just as tight. “Sorry for being late. I was worried someone was following me and I took the longer way.”

“Grazie a Dio you're here, Vincé.” The other whispered.

“Listen,” Vincenzo detached himself from Michele, “I am so tired of living like this.”

Michele blinked, a worried expression painted on his face.

“I don't want to get married to Arianna, I can't take being a criminal anymore...” Continued the blond, “and more importantly, I can't stand being away from you for just one more minute.”

“Vincé, where are you going with this?”

“I want to run away with you, Miché!” Vince took Michele's hands in his.

“But where?! You know they're gonna find us no matter where we go!”

“Not if we take the cargo ship to America.”

Michele widened his eyes.

Vincenzo grinned.

“You're crazy, you hear me?” Michele threw his arms up in the air. “Pazzo!”

“So, are you in?”

Michele hesitated. “If I had to choose between staying here without you and the possibility of dying at sea with you…” He said in the end, smiling. “I still would choose you.”

---One night before the wedding---

The first sun rays of the morning had still to come out as Vincenzo and Michele embarked on the first cargo ship to the United States of the day, hoping for a new chance at life.

Put That Guy in a SituationTM Ask Game/Prompt!

[maxgicalgirl]

Archive 81 tv show made Melody Pendras straight we cannot trust podcasts in the hands of mainstream media !!!!!!!

[lottieurl]

why don’t you carry me home

care by robot koch

[envolvenuances]

always fascinating to see the "biology or socialisation?" question cause controversy on the feminist bubble of the internet, especially when it reaches the 'otherwise feminism would be hopeless' line of thinking. because this is what the original critique by marxfems of some radical feminist theory as "biological determinist" and/or "vulgar materialism" was about before neoliberals appropiated and distorted it.

one of the reasons why by now I can identify at least three distinct praxis opperating under 'radical feminism'

[bluesidedown]

hnggghhggg

[butchlifeguard]

attention spans dont real lmao. nothing about the condition or support needs of yr adhd can be measured by measuring yr attention span because the nature of adhd is that attention span is incredibly variable. this is bc adhd is characterized by dopamine seeking behavior and not just a timer until we get bored and go on our phones