#this is how i act around my closest friends and there's nothing fake about that

[softpine]

simsecret becoming mostly defunct is the best thing that’s ever happened to simblr

[girlokwhatever]

✵✧ ೃ༄*ੈ✩⊹ ⋆｡˚⋆ she loves me, she loves me not,,

part one ; beginning of the end

next part

paige bueckers x fem!reader (fake dating trope)

you didn’t care when you found out your ex got a new girlfriend. you were completely over her and her antics, realizing in the last few months of your relationship how utterly exhausting it was. it wasn’t until you found out that her new girlfriend was the girl she cheated on you with that you cared.

it was stupid really, the whole situation. your ex girlfriend, bianca, cheated on you whilst out at a party, you hadn’t gone, opting to instead watch one of paige’s home games with her team. you met paige your freshman year, instantly growing an inseparable bond with her. she was absolutely your closest friend, much to bianca’s disliking. you chopped it up to the fact that bianca wasn’t a fan of any of your friends and left it at that.

when bianca tried justifying her cheating on you because of your close relationship with paige, it took you off guard.

2 MONTHS AGO

you were waiting for your girlfriend to show up. your heart was racing and your breath uneven but honestly, it was long overdue. it had been months since you actually shared a happy moment with bianca, easily able to find more enjoyment in your friends.

you’d found out from a close friend that she had cheated on you at least once, maybe more. your friend spotted her at a party with a girl, kissing and grinding on each other. it was all making sense to you now. the way she was almost too close, too clingy. as if she was overcompensating for a mistake. a huge mistake.

“babe? what’s up?”

“why’d you fuck another girl at a party two weeks ago?”

she went silent, eyes wide with shock. her face spoke for her, affirming that what you thought to be true actually was. even though your relationship had been rocky, especially towards the end, it still broke your heart. she was your high school sweetheart. she even committed to uconn just for you.

it meant fuck all now.

“don’t act like you’re so innocent, princess.”

she doesn’t even try to deny it, immediately spitting back at you. you’re not even sure what she’s referring to, but it looks like she believes it.

“what are you talking about?”

“really?!” she scoffs, “don’t act like you don’t know what i’m talking about. i know about you and paige, how you’ve been sneaking around behind my back.”

“are you fucking dumb?! paige and i are just friends bianca! oh my god- even when you know you’ve done something wrong you can’t admit it.”

you were walking around the corner of the counter when she grabbed you hard. her aggressive behavior was nothing new, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. part of you was wishing it would work out, but a greater part of you was glad she’d finally pushed you over the edge.

“let go of me and get the hell out.”

“excuse me?!”

“i said, get the fuck out, and don’t fucking come back.”

PRESENT DAY

you, paige, and some of your mutual friends were out at your favorite bar. it was a friday night and none of you had anything better to do.

you’d done some rotations: drinking, dancing, singing, sitting down, dancing again, but now you were back to sitting. you took a seat next to paige and she was thankful for that, but you hardly acknowledged her.

after bianca’s excuse for cheating on you being your close relationship with paige, you had distanced yourself considerably. you stopped showing up randomly to her dorm and practices, stopped calling, and stopped asking to hang out too. paige knew you and bianca broke up and kept telling herself you were just trying to get over that. occasionally she’d reach out to ask you if you were doing okay, sometimes it’d take you more than a day to answer.

it hurt paige more than it should’ve and she knew that. for years, ever since she’d met you, she’s had feelings for you. even when she tried to avoid them, you were all she could think about. it was difficult considering you had a psycho girlfriend that you refused to let go of until recently. even now that you were single it was no use, not if you were going to treat her like she didn’t exist.

you hadn’t noticed bianca and her new girlfriend walk in, too enamored by the bubbles in your drink. paige noticed though, watching the way your ex’s eyes scanned the room. paige looked away before she got caught staring, settling her elbows back on the bar.

“have you been having a good night?” paige asked just to get some conversation flowing with you. she missed being so close to you, even if she knew she always wanted more. she’d rather settle for a friendship with you than have nothing at all.

“s’been good. might go home soon though,”

“want me to take you home princess?” it was a teasing nickname that she called you, an old inside joke. when bianca heard it she decided to start calling you that too unironically, completely unaware of the joke.

“i think-”

“princess.”

bianca’s voice cut through the atmosphere like a sharpened knife, offering a completely different tone than the way paige said it. her new girlfriend must’ve run off somewhere, seeing as it was only her that had approached you. she took the barstool next to you, sliding her chair to face you. she looks unimpressed and expectant, not surprised to see paige lingering by your side.

“i need to talk to you.”

“talk to your new girlfriend. y’know, the one you cheated on me with.”

“she’s not my girlfriend” —another toxic lie “i just want to talk to you.”

“no.”

“princess-”

“fuck you.” you seethe out a her, hoping it’s enough to keep her quiet. unfortunately though, it isn’t.

“don’t talk to me like that.”

you try avoiding bianca, turning to paige and muttering a quick ‘can we go.’ it’s difficult to hear you but she does, standing up and pushing her chair in. bianca loathes paige, always has. as soon as you met paige all you wanted to do was talk about her, hang out with her, study with her, and bianca couldn’t stand it.

“and you tried calling me dumb when i found out you two were hooking up behind my back,” she scoffs as if it’s obvious.

paige’s eyebrows knit in confusion, you never mentioned that part. paige doesn’t know what made bianca think that, but she secretly wishes there was some truth to it, as bad as it may be. even when doing something she knows is wrong, paige has never regretted a second spent with you.

you knew you were probably too drunk to make a decision this big. as soon as the thought popped into your head you favored it, wanting to get back at bianca for all she put you through. you didn’t even give it a second thought, your mouth running faster than any of your cognitive abilities at the moment.

“guess you were right, but hey— she treats me better than you ever did.”

both bianca and paige are shocked, completely taken aback by your statement. what were you getting at?

“so what- you’re dating now?”

“yep. thanks for helping me realize i could do so much better.”

before you have time to show your fleeting confidence and the fact that you just lied straight through your teeth, you grab paige’s hand and walk off. you’re honestly not sure how she’ll react or how you’ll move from here.

either of you say a word until you’re in the silent safety of her car. she turns to face you, a blank expression written across her face. it makes it difficult to figure out what’s going on in her mind. you wish you could tell, it’d probably make things easier. you can tell that she’s a bit flustered, but maybe that’s just because of how hot it was inside.

“paige?”

“yeah?”

“i know this is probably going to be a really weird question and maybe the question itself is too late because i’ve already dug us into this hole but i swear you don’t have to go through with it..”

“okay..”

“will you, um.. will you be my fake girlfriend?”

she’s conflicted, torn between her better judgement and overall feelings for you. her body surges with anger at the way bianca talked to you tonight. but her body also swells with pride and attraction after hearing you say those things about dating her, even if she knows it’s not real. she wants it to be real so desperately and she’s knows she’s already made up her mind without needing to think it through.

one hand is on the steering wheel and the other drags itself down her face, questioning internally if she’s really going to go through with this. her silence settles on you, panic rising as you realize maybe you’ve just ruined your friendship. or what was left of it.

“you can say no obviously-”

“i’ll do it.”

⋆｡ﾟ☁���｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆﹥*:ꔫ:*+ﾟׂׂૢ

UMMM i’ll spell check this tmr

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT

i kinda don’t.

THIS IS A SERIES YALL

[halaboyz]

coward, juyeon

classmate! the boyz juyeon x fem! reader fluff wc: 4.5k hallelujah warnings: none that i know of a/n: fake dating aye aye ayeee .... but its nearly not even discussed ;; finally and definitely words are overused

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Girlfriend. I said girlfriend. Everybody, my girlfriend." Juyeon pulls you beside him as he strikes you with his menacingly fake eye smile, trying to get you into the problem he was currently making.

Your eye twitches in confusion, but your head nods anyway as you twist it slowly to look at his mother and friends in front of him, beaming at Juyeon. His mom quickly takes your hand to shake, eyes brightly smiling at you just like how Juyeon's did.

"It's good to finally meet his boyfriend he's been nonstop talking. It came to a point I thought he was only making up a girlfriend in his head," His mom chuckles and Juyeon grunts beside you as he gently takes your hand back to hold.

"Is he being real now?" Eric questions Chanhee, and honestly, no one knows whether he was being real. So you ask him back.

"Yeah, Juyeon, are you being for real now?" You chuckle, questioning him daringly.

"Yeah, real. Absolutely real." He smiles, nose scrunching at you.

Graduation ceremony just ended and photo ops were everywhere, when Juyeon suddenly asks for a picture with you. When leaving, suddenly, his mom was in front of you along with his friends, introducing you as his girlfriend.

"What the hell was that, Juyeon?" You ask, finally getting some alone time by leaving the hall for a moment. "I'm suddenly your girlfriend?"

"Sorry about that," Juyeon chuckles, scratching his head. "My mom kept bugging me for a girlfriend for a few months already, so I thought I'd... pull you just then," He tried reasoning- still unreasonable.

"Are you kidding me, Juyeon? Me? Of all people?" You act as if crying, head pounding with all of his bullshit. "We're not even the closest friends! We've only talked like- how many times, Juyeon?"

"I'm sorry, y/n... But please bear with this for a while, just over the break! And I promise we'll end like nothing even happened,"

After a few minutes of silence, you stared at Juyeon warily before heaving a sigh, finally giving in.

"Just over the break, Juyeon."

"Mom's inviting you over her birthday..." Juyeon starts over the call, and you could hear him walking around as he stated the purpose of the call. "...And properly meet... literally my whole family."

"What the hell?" You helplessly mock cry, rubbing your temples to come up with a plan. "Juyeon, wasn't it enough that you introduced me as a girlfriend? You invite me to family events now?" You ask. "Look, I know all I've been doing the whole week was lie down and catch up with The Umbrella Academy but any of what you're saying is out of my plans!"

"Well, you're my girlfriend after all, so of course she's going to invite you." You don't know if Juyeon's too innocent and pure to even be doing this. All you know was that he really has no ill intentions over the matter. While you're helpless, someone's more helpless than you. Juyeon is. "I can just say you're not over the weekend, y/n."

"It'll be too rude to decline!" You stop him, "...I'll go."

And there you were, standing in front of their porch by a random Saturday afternoon, box of cake in one hand and flowers in the other. You had to elbow the doorbell, shaking at the apparently, first meet the whole family.

"Oh!" Juyeon's bright smile welcomes you once the door opens, setting the glass of wine she's been holding aside to get the things you've been holding. "Is this all for me?"

"Yes, ma'am," You chuckle, accepting a side hug from her. "Happy birthday, ma'am. I hope I'm not bothering your day,"

"You keep saying ma'am- we're family now! You should call me mom too! And don't worry about barging in, I invited you! Let me get Juyeon," She welcomes you in, leading you to the living room but even before she steps away, she turns around to look at you again. "Right! I almost forgot." She smiles, "Thank you for these." She raises both of her hands that now hold what you held, and you smile at her.

"Of course." You stay wandering around the living room, looking at the endless picture frames and you see Juyeon's growth throughout the years.

Although being classmates with him since first year high school, you realize you never really got to interact with him as much. As classmates, yes, but nothing outside of school grounds.

Looking at each picture since being a baby, and then from starting kindergarten, to the recent graduation, a giggle can't help leaving your lips when you realize that Juyeon's eye smile never changed.

"What are you laughing at?" You jump at Juyeon's voice beside your ear, looking at the frame you were last looking. When you whip your head to the side, his face was inches away. You step back due to shock, almost tumbling their vase down. "Sorry, did I scare you?" He giggles, putting his hands in his pants pockets. "You didn't call me so I wasn't able to get the door for you."

After gaining composure, you smile at him.

"I was holding a flower and a cake. You think I can call you in that case?" You pick on him, jokingly glaring. "I can't come empty handed when it's my boyfriend's mom's birthday."

"And for your boyfriend?" He lets out his hands in front of you, ready to receive something. You scoff, smirking. "Well, you came here for me too, didn't you?"

"Oh, I have one." You shake your head, smiling at him. You take his hand to pull closer to you and lower, stealing a quick kiss on his cheek.

Just at the right timing, his mom enters and invites you to the dining table, and you leave Juyeon with a pat in the shoulder and a sneaky smile.

You miss how Juyeon stays in his place for a whole minute, processing what just happened as his ears go red. His cheekbones slowly make its way up, eyes blinking in an abnormal pace as if it made up for the skip of beat of his heart.

"Juyeon, it's time to introduce your girlfriend," Juyeon's mom knocks on the wall to get his attention, and he immediately gets back flat on his feet and hopping to the dining.

He grabs your hand swiftly as you stand before his family, intertwining it and giving you a glance before introducing you.

"Everybody, y/n. My girlfriend. Y/n, my family. Sister, Younger brother, Mom, and Dad." They all smile at you as you give your respects to them, and then melting at Juyeon's warmth as you hide behind his shoulder due to shyness at everyone's eyes on you.

You were definitely, definitely welcomed.

And from that point on, you didn't even feel like you were just a fake girlfriend.

Not until right after eating, no. When suddenly, his younger brother asks you when you started dating.

"My brother always tells me everything! So I was upset when he revealed that he had a girlfriend but didn't tell me before..." He pouts and Juyeon chuckles, mumbling another apology to the poor guy.

Saliva caught up in your throat though, chugging down the whole glass of water trying to think of a good answer. You tried pinching Juyeon's thigh under the table but he only shoos it off, meaning you were on it by yourself only.

"Ah, haha." You tried lighting up the atmosphere. Everybody was waiting for your answer, and you try to come up with the safest one.

"Actually, we just started dating since graduation." You smile, and everybody sits still in silence. "Before the ceremony, I finally agreed after Juyeon pursued me for months," You exaggerate, finally earning chuckles from the family. You silently let out a sigh of relief and continue the conversation. "I'm sorry your brother didn't tell you,"

Because he didn't tell me either.

You glare at Juyeon for a second, smiling in a second once you whipped your head in front.

"What do you like most about my brother? Because I don't see anything someone like you would like from my brother. Definitely out of his league." His sister jokes around, earning a whine from Juyeon and a subtle kick under the table.

And you ponder. It takes you a few minutes because really, this wasn't one of the questions you imagined being asked today, right in front of his family.

"See! She can't even answer!"

You take a glance at Juyeon, and then chuckle.

"I think it's just hard to put into words," You explain, holding Juyeon's hands. Without trying to die out of cringe, you exhale deeply. "I think it was Juyeon's smile that I love most." You smile, turning to his family while letting your hand stay on his. "It never changes. From first year, to now, it's safe to say that Juyeon's smile never changed. And it felt... relieving? Of some kind- to realize that although everything was changing, he wasn't."

Everybody was silent. Their eyes were on you, especially Juyeon. He wasn't expecting any serious answer for he only dragged you into this mess but... now, he's far from regretting the choices he's been making.

"It felt comforting. His presence as a whole too, that I could come and go run to someone that was far from changing. And I could only hope to be the same for him." You tighten your hold on Juyeon's hand, and he was already smiling up to his ears.

The scene made everyone's heart flutter, and although Juyeon's sister almost vomited, she hated to admit it was pleasing to the eye that finally, someone had Juyeon's back.

Meanwhile Juyeon, was dying of cuteness. He wanted to squish you in a tight hug-- although you were definitely just a fake girlfriend, and he has no idea whether you were making that up- it doesn't matter.

He has fallen way too deep.

To be honest, everything he reasoned out to be in this situation was true. Except the fact that he had to run around the large hall room just to look for you and was even ready to beg you to help him out. Turns out, you found him. You. It was you who found him. And coincidentally, was already in front of his mom and his friends.

When you saw him, you weren't really planning on it, were you? But since he was already in front of you, you asked for a picture.

And fast forward- which got you into this mess. Would you even call it a mess?

"Well that was one fine lunch." You whisper, already habitually holding his hand as you made your way to the living room alone with him.

"I enjoyed it." Juyeon chuckles, which makes you whip your head toward him. When you took a seat, you furrowed your eyebrows. Juyeon was continuously smiling at you, which makes you burst out laughing.

"Juyeon, you're overusing your special killer move. Stop smiling, you'll grow on me." You point at him and he... wriggles in place, falling right beside you on the couch.

"I'm sorry you had to go all through that," He starts, grabbing your hand to study. He memorizes how your warmth feels, where your calluses break the softness and smoothness of your skin, and how your fingers are just like the right piece of puzzle to his large fingers to intertwine with.

"Don't worry about it. At the end of it all I had fun," You smile, and you scoot to the side to take a better look at him, looking at your hand.

And you wonder, how come you've never laid your eyes on him?

"Right, my sister is getting married next month, they'd expect me to bring you as my plus one," Juyeon turns to look at you after intertwining your hands, and once again, your faces were only inches apart. "T-that's... if you're, uh, free, of course."

"I'm agreeing only because I liked your family." You chuckle, poking his nose lightly.

"And me?" It almost comes out as a whisper, and you softly smile.

"And you."

"I'm five minutes away," You giggle over the phone, "Sorry, I was stuck in traffic."

"Take your time, I'm waiting patiently," Juyeon chuckles when he senses your panic in your voice, trying to calm you down. He waits by the entrance doors, bidding goodbye once he sees you hopping to the mall.

"Hey, sorry." Juyeon ends the call and buries his phone in his pocket, smiling at you. He gives you a side hug and assures you once again, giving you the small bouquet of tulips he bought prior. "Ooooh Juyeon, what's this for?"

"For our first date." He twirls in place due to embarrassment, while you give him the most cheeky smile you could give.

"Aw! Thank you Juyeon! So much for being a fake girlfriend," You chuckle, and you don't mean to be a party pooper, really.

It was just to... remind the both of you.

You inhale sharply to change the sudden drop of mood, smiling.

"Now, help me find a good outfit for the wedding."

You've been roaming around trying to find the best outfit that fit the garden theme of the wedding, not seeming to find the 'right' one for you.

"You must be tired. We should eat first," You frown apologetically, pulling him beside you to sit.

"I'm okay though," Juyeon worriedly looks at you who seems frustrated, taking your hand to caress.

"I just can't see any dress to my liking," You pout, stomping your feet childishly.

"Should we go drive to another mall?"

"No, it's fine. I've bothered you enough. We can go check one last store and then I'd have to settle with what I can," You explain, pressing your lips to a thin line. "But before that, we should eat."

"What do you want to order?" You ask, turning to him when he's still so busy looking up the menu. You chuckle, initiating to order yours first when you realize the cashier was gawking at Juyeon already. "Sorry, excuse me?" When she still hasn't responded, you groan in annoyance. "Juyeon, baby, you still haven't decided?" You chuckle, pulling him closer.

Juyeon buffers in real life when he hears you say baby, blinking rapidly.

"Huh?" But a smile was forming in his lips. "Baby, sorry. Baby, I'll take the F2 set, baby." See, when Juyeon wants to tease you with your slip of mouth, he tends to overuse it toward you. You roll your eyes, but mirror his smile anyway.

"You were saying what, baby?" Juyeon asks as you take a seat, laughing his heart out.

"My god, I hate you so much," You groan, looking away.

"Oh but do you, really? You hate your baby so much?" He coos, and you push his face away. After letting out a hearty laugh, "Let's go to your last store and pick a dress. The sun's going down. If you want, we can go drive by another mall by tomorrow before the wedding the day after tomorrow."

"It's okay. You should go rest for tomorrow too. I'll pick a dress there in the store," You smile, urging him to go and eat first. "Thank you for going with me, Juyeon. You must be really tired,"

"I told you, I'm okay." He shakes his hand in front of you, and for a second, you suppress the urge to hold his hand. "I enjoyed today and had fun with you."

As you made your way to the last store, he sees your eyes shine at the variety of options presented to you. But one dress appealed the most to you, immediately picking it.

"This is it, Juyeon," You whisper, hands roaming around the peach ankle-length floral sundress that perfectly fit your body. "This is it, Juyeon!" You jump out of the dressing room, showing him the dress and twirling in place in happiness.

Juyeon admires. It was the first time you had shown him any of the dresses you have tried on, and "God, you're beautiful." was the only thing that could come out of his mouth.

God, you were really, very, so beautiful.

You chuckle shyly, looking around when Juyeon only looks at you with such heart eyes.

"I'll go change back now, I'll take this," You blabber, skipping back to the dressing room. After one last look at yourself, you smile satisfyingly.

Juyeon is only brought back to reality when you're out of sight, and only realizes he was holding back his breath when he releases a long sigh.

Oh he just can't wait to see you again in that dress.

And his reaction doesn't really change when he sees you walking down the stairs of your porch, all ready to go with a sweet smile on your face.

"Beautiful." He says when he takes your hand to assist you, holding the passenger seat's door open.

"Not so bad yourself, baby." You scrunch your nose, taking a seat and eyes following Juyeon outside until he finally settled beside you.

"Ready?" He asks, and when he sees you smile, he finally starts the car.

And actually, time flies by fast when you're with Juyeon. The car ride was fast and fun, and it didn't occur to you until now that you and Juyeon clicked so much.

"I'll go get us some drinks. You must be thirsty after all that greetings from my family." You nod, smiling at him after sitting.

"Please be fast," You whisper, your introverted ass not not surviving for a minute alone in a social place. Juyeon chuckles as he pats your head, jogging to the back kitchen to grab you some drinks.

"Hey," When you thought Juyeon was back, you quickly turn to smile but is only greeted by his cousin, Jungwoo.

"Oh, hi! Jungwoo, right?" You welcome, growing uncomfortable at the stranger, but not wanting to be rude.

"Aye, you remembered!" Jungwoo lightens the mood, and had no other ill intentions but to keep you company. He sits besde you and starts a small talk, in which eventually you grew comfortable of his presence.

He was a funny guy, and made you laugh a lot. Now even that he stays still, the way he moves, he makes you laugh.

"Unfortunately, your clown has to go now. I have to take care of things on the groom's side, you know, for their last salut for tonight,"

"Oh yeah, do so! I'm so sorry I took much of your time. I wonder where Juyeon went," You smile apologetically, shaking your hands in front of him to urge him to go ahead.

"There your prince charming goes," He pouts to a direction, making you whip your head to the side. The familiar face finally makes you heave a sigh of relief, smiling at him.

He lets out a fake smile for a second, as he makes his way to you.

"Had fun?" Juyeon asks hastily, after nodding at Jungwoo and sitting where Jungwoo had sat.

"Yeah, your cousin's fun! Definitely should try stand up comedy," You chuckle, ignorant of Juyeon's change of mood.

"Good." That's where it hit you, when Juyeon didn't have his signature smile plastered on his face, simply chugging the glass of champagne twirling between his fingers.

"Did something happen? Why the long face?" You question, taking his hand to caress.

"Nothing," He sighs, swiftly turning your hand for him to hold. He shoots you a smile, scooting closer. Maybe he's just had a bad moment back there, so you didn't press on it further. "The salut's next, then we can go back to the accommodation if you're tired,"

"No it's fine! I'm enjoying, and you're back anyway," You smile, and pay attention once the clank of the knife on the wine glass was heard.

"...Cheers!" Juyeon's sister raises her glass as everybody does, drinking the champagne right after.

"We're inviting all of the couple in the middle of the stage for the slow dance, in line with the newly wedded's requests! This has been..." The host had finally concluded the reception, the lights dimming and focusing on the stage, the music turning into a romantic, slow song.

A lot has been making their way in the middle, and your smile never leaves your face in adoration of the beautiful scene in front of you.

"Hey lovebirds, you should go dance too," Juyeon's parents suddenly appears behind the both of you, pushing you to stand and pulling you in the middle in contrast of Juyeon's whines.

Of course, he wasn't able to refute his parents' glares and formally takes your hand, asking for a dance.

"It's okay, I don't really know how to dance so,"

"That's okay, you have me." Juyeon smiles, and somewhat, that convinced you. So you take his hand and made your way in the middle, greeting the newly weds. You saw how Juyeon's sister raised her eyebrows at his brother teasingly, which earned her a chuckle.

Juyeon shyly teaches and guides you where to put your hands, and you feel how his palms were sweaty.

"I think you're more nervous than me, judging how your palms are sweaty and how fast your chest's going up and down in a second," You chuckle, laying your hand on his left chest. You feel how fast his heart is beating, and for a second right there, you were worried. "Did you drink too much? How come your heart's beating this fast, Juyeon?"

He nervously chuckles, but doesn't give you an answer. He continues to teach you how to waltz, and you comply... terribly.

"That's okay, you can just go and step on me all you want," Juyeon's laugh rings around your ears pleasantly, and as selfish as you can be, you want to be the only reason why he laughs like that.

The past month had been weird, but oddly heart fluttering because of Juyeon. Weird from the start that he had to ask you to be his fake girlfriend, and him as someone you had limited interactions only. But aside all that, you had been enjoying getting to know him and his family.

How his slow ass will never survive your fast pace, how he plays basketball any free second he's given, how he always have to drink milk at 8 am sharp, how he cannot, for the life of his, watch any scary video, much more a horror movie, without company, or how he gets upset easily.

"You were laughing a lot with Jungwoo earlier. What did you two talk about?" You chuckle at Juyeon's attempt to have a small talk, to hopefully avert your attention away from his stammering and cold sweating due to the close proximity.

"I figured you're jealous." You shrug, following his sense of rhythm and miraculously not stepping on him. "You don't have to, baby. We were talking about your diaper days. And he had lots of stories to tell about you so..."

"Who's jealous? Your baby? I don't think I need to be," When he finally hears you call him your endearment once again, his shoulders go way to high again, which makes you laugh.

You pull him in to a comfortable hug, swaying to the sound of the slow melody. You feel Juyeon stiffen, so you melt more into his warmth.

"You know, Juyeon, I'm at a point where I want to thank you for dragging me into this mess," Maybe you initiated a hug because you didn't want to face him as you say what has been bugging your mind all night. "For introducing me as your fake girlfriend. You've been nothing but good to me, as well as your family. To think that this will all come to an end so soon breaks my heart." You pout, and you thank the lords you're not seeing how Juyeon is reacting right now.

Because if you do, you might really just cry right then and there. Juyeon was too good to be true for you, and for a fact that you were the one who wanted all of this to end as soon as possible from the start was horrendous to think about. You should even be thanking him for giving you the opportunity to be treated by the Lee Juyeon.

"y/n-,"

"What I'm saying is, Juyeon... I like you. Over the past month, I've grown to like you not just a fake boyfriend. I hope I'm making sense here," You sigh, genuinely afraid of the chance of rejection. "I know I said we should end it by today but... If you still agree with that, I understand, you can leave me here and I won't hold any grudge."

You close your eyes, eventually feeling Juyeon's tensed body ease up, breaking the hug. Your chest tightens, feeling disappointed as your head drops down in embarrassment. You wait for a few seconds before opening your eyes, ready to walk away but there Juyeon was, in front of you, adoring your hunched self.

Just a second ago, he was the one all tensed up and all ready to call off the agreement in respect of your pleas of getting out of the messy situation. But now, he was the one all smug and confident, thanking you internally because you were the one who confessed.

Because really, would he even think about confessing after the dumb move he made in that graduation hall?

"You're so cute," Juyeon takes ahold of both of your arms again and guide its way atop his shoulders, softly linking his forehead onto yours sweetly. "y/n, you like a coward who's been hiding his feelings for 5 years straight. You like a coward who didn't think twice about his actions, a coward who, instead of confessing, drags the girl he likes all these years in front of his family and friends, introducing her as his girlfriend. You like a coward who was even thinking of letting you go just a minute ago, y/n. Because if you didn't even bat an eye on me all those years we've been classmates... what more can I bring to the table now, right?"

Juyeon's mind was all over the place. Just like how you were thinking awhile ago, he thinks you're indeed to good to be true for him. That you don't deserve someone as simple as him, someone as cowardly as him.

"Juyeon, look at me." You cup his cheek, smiling assuredly at him. "You're more than enough for me. I like you as you are, and I will love you as you offer. You're my coward, Juyeon. And I will take what you can give. We'll be each other's answers in each of our lapses. We don't have to be perfect. I just want you, Juyeon."

And as deep as the night, Juyeon finally lets go of his doubts, taking the hand you cupped his cheek with to kiss, and following your forehead thereafter.

It was safe to say that Juyeon was being real now. However this time, you were too. You both were.

taglist: @sunlightwoo (answer the form on my pinned to be included!)

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 1

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader

A/N: Hiii guys, I'm so nervous for this BUT very excited too!! I hope you like it <3

Warnings: swearing a bit?, typos maybe.

Word count: 3 K

MASTERLIST TAGLIST

Every season has its colours, has its smells, has its traditions. Like every season, this love has its particularities…

Around November of 2020, England

“Matty- Oh my god!!“ 

The constant banging on her wall and the high-pitched moaning at the other side woke Y/n up. Quickly, she took her pillow and placed it on top of her face, trying to muffle the horrible sounds reaching her ears. ‘God, is she having a good time? Or he’s killing her?’, the thought crossed the girl's mind. 

Most of the time they weren’t that loud, but during that morning they just seemed to not care.

It was useless, the sounds were getting louder and louder. Y/n couldn’t bear with it any more and knowing that even if they –luckily– stopped she wouldn’t come back to sleep. So, Y/n decided to go downstairs. Maybe one of the guys was making breakfast, which would help with the awful start of her day.

Her prayers weren’t heard. The kitchen was empty and no breakfast was made. She tried to cheer up a little, because Y/n needed to survive the day. To be honest, every day and morning it was getting harder and harder.

After a quiet but long sigh, Y/n started cooking for everyone. Nothing unusual since she tried to do it most of the mornings in exchange for their generosity letting her stay at the boys' studio –which was half Matty’s house as well. Spending the quarantine rent-free with them, listening how they recorded the new album and messing around was a true blessing if she tried to focus on the bright side of everything. 

Well, they kind of forced her because they were very against Y/n spending those months alone in her flat. The boys cared about the girl as a best friend and as a sister too. They were a bunch of drama queens most of the time, but deep down Y/n was enormously grateful with/for them.

Thinking about the first months, Y/n couldn’t deny those were amazing. The entire group spent a lot of quality time, doing the stupidest challenges, doing Instagram lives for the fans, watching a lot of movies, etc. Although everything took a turn when another person joined the party. When Nadia arrived.

It wasn’t like Y/n hated her, in fact, it was the opposite which created a big dilemma for her. Matty’s girlfriend was nice and the idea of having another girl was actually  comforting during the tough times. But Y/n wasn’t so fond of the situation for other reasons.

For a period –a very long one– if you asked her, she endured with it and put on her best –fake– happy face. Y/n’s acting talents were very handy at times. Although, her true feelings were still there, underneath the surface, where no one can notice them. Specially Matty.

 Time went by and the whole thing was making her more anxious, and although the idea of leaving crippled into her mind at every minute, she couldn’t really decide. Y/n didn’t want to leave but watching Matty 24/7 attached to the other girl’s side was taking the best of her mental health.

Y/n’s mind was running fast with thoughts while she cooked, which made her subconsciously ignore the tall man coming down after he heard movement downstairs. George watched his friend move around, knowing more than anyone in the house about her sorrows. George was probably the closest to her out of the four guys. He was the only one who knew all of her secrets and kept it secured as if it was his own.

The drummer stared at her, expecting for Y/n to notice him, but he acknowledged that the girl was in another dimension. She used to do that more than she liked to admit. George could bet ‘the morning moaning festival’ taking place half an hour prior was the main reason.

Y/n finished cooking a big amount of scrambled eggs and turned searching for a plate when she saw George standing in the partially lighted corridor. “Fuck G! You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed while resting a hand on her chest.

“Sorry!” the big man shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t mean to scare you, love.” he apologized, approaching his best friend. “Good morning.” he greeted her properly, and she huffed.

“Good morning to you.” Y/n answered sarcastically after G placed a kiss on top of her head. 

“So, you heard, huh?”

“I can’t stand it any more, G.” she let him know. “It’s just a lot.” she continued, lowering her voice scared another of the boys could hear her.

“I know, love.” the drummer said with an apologetic expression. “But the lockdown is nearly over, and y’know none of us would like you to go.” G said as he searched for mugs.

“Why not? It’s my life, my freedom!” Y/n protested, starting to get annoyed. “It’s getting worse every day…” Y/n desperately moved her hands in the air trying to prove her point.

“Believe me… I know!” George searched for her eyes, keeping eye contact when Y/n looked back at him, waiting for his next words. “I’m not in your…situation, but I’m getting a little annoyed too.” G agreed with her.

“Yes, but it’s his house. He can do whatever he wants…”

“I half agree.” G nodded. “This might be his house, but it’s the place we choose as a studio, so for the time being its our place too…yours too!” George continued rambling, filling the mugs with hot water. “So, they need to stop with the noises.”

A comfortable silence fell between them until Y/n broke it again thinking out loud.

“What the hell can I do?” 

“About what?” A third voice came from the hallway. Matty made his entrance wearing a tired expression matching his gray sweatpants and plain shirt. He approached Y/n, leaving her a kiss on her right cheek. “What can you do about what, love?” he rephrased his question. 

“I- It’s nothing — Morning” she said without looking at him, instead walking towards the table bringing a mug with her.

“There must be something. You sounded worried.” Matty insisted.

“It’s something between Y/n and I, mate.” George said in a joking way, trying to distract him. “Something between best pals, you wouldn’t understand it.” he stated, rounding Y/n with his left arm meanwhile he winked at Matty taking a sip of his morning tea.

“Fuck off!” Matty protested. They usually have a competition about the title which Y/n find equally lame and cute. She easily felt the tension leaving her shoulders, relaxing thanks to their stupid discussion, knowing that for now Matty dropped his interrogation.

“Tell him, darling!” G urged her.

“It’s too early for this fight. Shut up and sit. I’ll bring the cutlery.” Y/n said, detaching herself from George. 

“Y/n is just too nice to tell ya, mate. She loves me more.” the singer continued joking, obviously unaware of the real implication of his words.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Matty.” George answered, sitting at his usual spot at the table.

“Who was the beautiful soul that made breakfast?” Ross entered the kitchen and stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes and inhaling dramatically.

“You know the answer.” John teased as he appeared from behind Ross. “You know you don’t have to, Y/n.” the musician approached her and helped with the forks and knives.

“Yes, for the hundred times…I know, John.” she looked at him. “But we all know that I would feel guilty since you all never let me pay for anything.”

“Because you don’t have to pay us, love.” Matty said from his place at the table with his sight fixed on his phone. He and the damn nicknames.

“But- “

“No but’s, Y/n. We’re happy to have you here!” Ross said as they all sat around the table.

They were serving breakfast when the conversation took another direction -something about the coronavirus and all of that. At the same time, the last resident of the house made her entrance.

Y/n sometimes envied her. Matty’s girlfriend always looked immaculate to a point that you could never think she just woke up. Y/n knew comparisons were wrong, but it was hard to avoid them. The girl felt awful: her hair was all tangled in a messy bun on the top of her head; only wearing an old t-shirt -from a not so famous band--and a pair of pyjamas short; and she was not wearing any makeup meanwhile she stuffed her breakfast on her face.

Nadia was all classy and perfect, the opposite of Y/n. Maybe that’s why he chose her and not his best friend. Y/n knew thinking like that was also wrong, yet again she couldn’t help it.

Y/n witnessed how Nadia greeted everyone and sat beside Matty, flashing him a cute smile he returned. They were in love, and it was obvious to everyone. Y/n was so happy for her best friend to find someone who loved him, although for many years she hoped that person would be her. For years, Y/n hoped Matty noticed her more than a mate.

When they first met, Y/n thought she felt a connection different from with anyone else in her life, although that changed quickly. Matty proved to her time and time again he didn’t want a relationship with her or nothing similar no matter how flirty he was during that first night. And Y/n forced herself her mind and heart to believe it.

Y/n was very unaware that, at the time she met the boys, Matty felt the same way she felt, but the old Matty didn’t want to lose the new friend he encountered. As another way to self sabotage himself, the young Matty did almost the impossible to show Y/n they were friends and just friends. A decision he took while being drunk became a life rule.

Since that moment, since that night, their relationship was kind of determinate. They were friends, the best friends. Not that night, but after a while, Y/n became part of the family and even Matty’s family –both sides– loved her as another member of their family. Y/n felt safe and loved, something she cherished so much since she hadn’t had that kind of love back home. Her family wasn’t like them, the opposite in fact.

For the longest time, Y/n tried to ditch her feeling for Matty. Every time a new girl showed up, tugged under his arm, Y/n decided it was the time to stop getting hurt and move on. Even though, her heart couldn’t do it. It hurt her. And with Nadia was the hardest since all of them could notice it was different, more mature…more serious. Nadia was more than a random girl for Matty and everyone was sure of that.

“Penny for your thoughts.” Matty interrupted Y/n’s inner monologue, staring at her, while his right arm was around Nadia.

“What?” Y/n answered, coming down to earth, with a question. 

“You were gone.” everyone was strangely in silence while they looked at each other.

“I was just thinking about the government lifting the restrictions. Meaning, now I can go home.” she half lied, while messing with the leftovers of her breakfast. Y/n did chat about it with G that morning anyway, and it was a reality Y/n needed to get away from the lovers for a time.

“I told her, none of us want that.” George interrupted their conversation.

“Of course not.” Jaime, who joined the breakfast table, said to her.

“I know, guys. But it’s been almost four months and I- This is not my- “

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Matty warned her, and she looked him directly in the eyes.

“It’s the truth, Matty.” she said, dropping her fork on the plate.

“It’s not, this is your house too, Y/n/n.” Ross, sweet Ross, reminded her. “At the same time, if you want to go back to your flat, I understand. We’ll miss your meals.” his comment made everyone chucked, except Matty who was studying every one of her movements. 

A weak smile was plastered on her face while she stared down towards her plate unable to make eye contact with Matty. “Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with you guys, but I need my space.”

“If this is about some couple…” Jaime looked at Matty and Nadia “Waking up the whole house.” he finished the sentenced winking like a cartoon.

“For fuck's sake.” Matty swore under his breath. “Is it about that?” he looked at Y/n.

“‘Course not!” she looked at him trying her hardest to hide her feelings.

“I wouldn’t blame you if that’s the reason. I’m sleeping on the other side of the house and I can listen to them. You’re right beside Matty’s room!” John emphatically said.

Before Matty could say a word, Y/n exclaimed, “It’s not about that, okay?” she simply lied. 

Y/n could sense George staring at her. “It’s what I said, I need my space, and it’s not like I’m going to disappear.” another white lie. Y/n was planning to do exactly that for a while until her wounds healed again. “You’ll still have to bear with me.” she finished her little speech.

“We can simply send the couple to your flat, and you can stay here in peace” Ross joked this time. All of them except for Matty laughed again.

“Stop with that, he will get angry.” Y/n defended Matty.

“I know it’s not my house either,” Nadia started saying. “If I can say something, I would like you to stay, Y/n.” she continued rather shyly. “It’s nice to have a girl around.” Of course, she was so nice. “I promised we’ll keep it down.” she looked quickly at Matty for reassurance and then again at her.

“Yeah, I know. I’m sorry you’ll have to survive with these boys, but I really need to go.” Y/n explained. “Another reason is the fact that I have to prepare to get back to work soon.”

“So, when did you start thinking about leaving? Since you apparently have a lot of reasons to leave.” Matty said with a strange expression on his face.

“Matty-”

“Are you that eager to leave?” ‘He was pissed?’, Y/n thought. 

“Matty- “she protested, not knowing what else to say.  

“No, it’s okay. I get it! You want to leave, it’s okay.” he stood up from his seat gathering the plates to wash them.

“Matty!” Y/n said again.

“It’s fine, Y/n!” he said more sternly, obviously not fine with the situation. 

The rest of the group –included Nadia–, took that as a cue to leave the friends so they could talk. They made stupid excuses, leaving Matty and Y/n alone in the kitchen.

Matty went to the sink, beginning to wash the dishes. After letting a big breath out, Y/n stood up approaching where he was standing.

“Why are you so angry?” she asked him, folding her arms, standing beside Matty looking at his profile. Matty was stroking the plates with more force than needed for the task in hand.

“I’m not. I said that I got it, and it’s fine.” he answered.

“You’re obviously not fine, Matthew.”

“Do you want to know how am I? Perfect.” he stated, turning the water off and drying his hand with a cloth while he turned to look at her. “I really don’t get it why you want to leave so suddenly.”

“It’s not that I want to- “another big lie. She wanted to, she needed to.

“Bullshit!”

Y/n tried to defend herself, “I’m not going to disappear…”

“Bullshit!”

“Can you stop that?” Y/n stood directly in front of Matty. 

“I know you’re going to disappear. I know you. We’re best friends and something is bothering you, I can tell. It hurts that you’re not telling me anything and I fucking bet you told George already.” She couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Is this more about that competition?” Y/n tried to distract him.

“Yes- No- Of course, not- This is about you and me.” Matty said, melting her heart a little. He was obviously troubled with the idea of Y/n leaving.

“Matty, there is nothing…mayor going on. Trust me. I need silence. You said it, you know me. I crave my space…alone.” she told him sweeter this time.

“Yes, I know. But you can find somewhere here-“

“You know that’s a lie.” ‘What a hypocrite I am’, Y/n thought. 

“I know.”

“You aren’t gonna miss me. You have the boy and Nadia- “she moved uncomfortably in her place.

“It’s not the same, you’re my best friend. I’ll miss you, darling.” Matty looked at her with his best doggy eyes.

“Don’t!” Y/n pointed a finger at him.

“What?” he played dumb.

“Don’t give me puppy eyes, it won’t work.” she smiled this time.

“Shit, are you so certain about it?” he looked down, defeated.

“Yes.” Y/n simply said.

“Okay, I understand. You can go.”

“Thanks for your permission that I didn’t ask for.” Y/n tried to joke.

“But- “ he ignored her.

“But?”

“But promise me that you are not going to disappear for too long.” he said, staring directly into her eyes.

“I promise.” Y/n said way too quickly. After a couple of seconds, she had to look elsewhere.

“Can we hug?” he said very slowly. 

Y/n chuckled, placing her arms around his shoulders, at the same time Matty placed his on her waist.

“I love you.” Matty mumbled on her left shoulder.

“I love you too, Matty.” Y/n said, feeling it from the deepest of her heart. There lied the difference. 

Maybe, she couldn’t love anyone like she loved Matty, even though she had to try for the good of their relationship. 

-------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @hollybrislen

[rxmqnova]

Peter?!

Y/N: 14 years old Peter: 16 years old Wanda: mama Nat: mom Story: Y/N finds out Peter is Spider-man… ——————————————————

NO ONE'S POV This year has been crazy for Natasha and Wanda. Their daughter Y/N has started high school which both women hate, cause their little girl is growing up. Especially when their little girl started talking about this one boy from higher grade who also happens to be her friend. It's obvious that the girl has a huge crush on him.

Wanda finds it sweet that her daughter has a first crush, but Natasha hates it. Y/N's her little girl and she wants to stay it like that for as long as possible.

"What are you guys doing after school?" Ned asks his friends. Peter and Ned have been Y/N's closest friends ever since she met them her first school day. Just like the two boys, she's not really popular. Yes, her mothers are Avengers, but the girl is using a fake surname just to stay safe as her mothers wanted it.

"I got that job at Stark's" Peter says on which Y/N furrows her brows. Peter has mentioned a few times something about his Stark's intership, but Y/N still hasn't figured out what that is. She's pretty sure her uncle doesn't employ kids at Stark's industries.

"What exactly are you even doing there?" Y/N question, trying to figure this whole thing up. Once she's after something, she won't stop. That's something she got after Natasha.

"You know… just stuff they tell me to do" Peter shrugs, but it's definitely not an answer Y/N wanted to hear.

"Like what?" The girl asks, curiousness getting the best out of her. She could just read his mind and find out as she has powers like Wanda, but she has a deal with her mama not to do that. One time she did it to pass a test and Wanda somehow knew right after the girl came home, so Y/N decided to better respect her mother's wish. "Just some stuff. Hm.. I-I gotta go now or I'll be late. See you later!" Peter waves and leaves, leaving Y/N completely confused.

Y/N makes an excuse why she can't come with Ned and makes her way out of the school. Her aunt Yelena is already waiting in the car for her, so the young witch just slips in the passenger seat.

Yelena isn't one of the Avengers just yet, so it should be fine if Y/N is seen with her. The blonde agreed to help in some fights, but she only just got out of the Red Room a few months ago, so she's still enjoying her life without any commitment such as the Avengers.

The two make it home safely and Y/N immediately goes to the kitchen, knowing her mama is there by the smell of her favorite paprikash.

"Hi there, my little monkey" Wanda smiles at her daughter who hugs her mama tightly, receiving a kiss on a forehead.

"Hi, mama" Y/N smiles back before turning around and spotting Natasha sitting on the bar stool. "Hi, mommy" She smiles at her other mother who gives her a smile back and greets her back. "Mama, can I have that when is done?" Y/N asks with puppy eyes, pointing at the paprikash Wanda's been cooking.

"Sure, baby" Wanda smiles before turning her attention back to the food.

Y/N makes her way to Natasha's arms, hugging her tightly while Natasha kisses the top of her daughter's head. There's nothing Y/N loves more than hugs from her moms.

"How was at school?" Natasha asks with a smile, running her fingers through Y/N's hair.

"Boring as usual" Y/N sighs before remembering the thing with Peter. "Although… I think Peter's lying about his job at uncle Tony's, cause he's been acting super weird about it when I asked him"

"Guys, we have a new Avenger. Tony wants us all in the meeting room" Steve informs before disappearing. Wanda turns off the stove as her paprikash is done and together with Natasha and Y/N walks to the meeting room.

Y/N sits between her moms, getting cuddles from both of them immediately. Tony then walks into the meeting room with the boy Y/N only just said goodbye to at school.

"Guys, this is our new Aven-" Tony starts, but gets cut out by the youngest one of them.

"Peter?" Y/N asks, Peter locking his eyes with his friend.

"Y/N? Wha-What are you doing here?" Peter asks confused, Y/N also tilting her head in confusion.

"Me? What are you doing here? You're the new Avenger?" Y/N blurts out, surprised her friend hasn't told her anything.

"Yes, squish" Tony agrees, using his nickname for Y/N which makes the girl roll her eyes. "If you let me finish I'd tell you that Peter Parker is our new addition to the team. You might know him as Spider-man" He finishes, making Y/N even more confused. Peter is Spider-man?!

"You are Spider-man? Why didn't you tell me anything? You're my best friend" The confused girl blurts out, Natasha hiding her smirk as she'll be able to control what's going on between her daughter and Peter now.

"I see… so this is the Peter" Wanda smirks, Y/N giving her a glare and Peter tilting his head in confusion.

"Wait. What are you doing here?" Peter asks again.

"Kids, you can talk about this later" Tony rolls his eyes, getting impatient.

Y/N rolls her eyes too, leaning to Natasha who wraps an arm around her little girl and kisses the top of her head. Tony explains how will everything work, how will it be with missions for Peter and stuff which isn't exactly interesting for Y/N as she's not an Avenger… yet.

Once Tony is done with his speech, Y/N is ripped out of her daydreaming and follows everyone out of the room, rushing to Peter.

"Why didn't you tell me anything? How did you even get the powers? Oh my god, does Ned know?" Y/N blurts out as soon as she reaches Peter.

"Me? Why didn't you tell me anything? What are you even doing here? You're not an Avenger and you don't have powers" Peter says, looking at Y/N completely confused.

"I do have powers… I'm just not allowed to use them. I would beat your ass in less than 10 minutes" Y/N says, pulling out a smirk similar to her mothers' smirks. "And I live here, my moms-"

"Y/N/N, honey, do you want the paprikash?" Wanda calls from the kitchen, cutting Y/N's sentence off.

"Yes, please! Thanks, mama!" Y/N calls back.

"Just so you know, if you land your hands on my daughter, I'll beat your ass myself. And I don't care you're only 16" Natasha being the overprotective mother she is, she warns Peter, wrapping her arm around Y/N protectively.

"Mooom" Y/N groans in response, mentally slapping herself for talking about Peter in front of her overprotective mothers. -------------------- I didn't know how to end this…

WandaNat masterlist

Masterlist

[ladymarycrawley]

The blondie I'm in love with - Mason Mount

Request: Mason has a fake girlfriend but with a happy ending please (requested by @masterclassbaby sorry baby, I kept you waiting so long for this 🙈 hope you like it!)

Warning: one of my worst pieces to date I think but after months of lacking any motivation to write about Mason I got struck but this idea all of a sudden last night so

Tag list: @masonxomount @prideofpd @masterclassbaby @chelsealover @johnstonesfc

Summer’s hot and sunny weather it’s like the secret ingredient for good things to happen, such as good holidays in beautiful places. Better if shared with people we love and have fun with. That was the case for you and Mason who got the chance to spend some time together with some of your mutual friends, spending days at the beach and nights out, staying up late.

Another thing that usually happens in summer, football related, is the transfer window where players say goodbye to the teams they've played in until that moment and let some new teams welcome them for their new adventure. Mason made no exception as he was among those players too. 

The season that just ended wasn’t the best of his career for sure and he needed that month away from football to clear his mind as well as relax. 

“Well now everyone will make up some weird theories about your new hair colour and that'll be so much fun" 

Clearing his mind meant also doing some crazy things such as dying his hair platinum blonde (something that was quite en vogue among those football players…what’s the fascination behind it?). Most people, the ones who liked drama more than anything else, were certain there was some deep meaning behind those style changes.

"You'll be the one to blame"

"Me?? What does it have to do with me?"

"Cause it's always some girl's fault"

You rolled your eyes, making him giggle.

"As if"

"We could turn the whole situation at our advantage and make it fun"

"What do you mean? You're scaring me, Mount"

“Well, we could pretend you’re my girlfriend and you’re the one girl to blame”

You served him a kind of puzzled look, not seeing the whole point of the thing.

“And so? What’s the sense of it all?”

 “Just to give them something to talk about, you know the transfer window is here and I’ve had enough of random people assuming things about myself and my future as a player so we’ll give them a distraction”

"I'm not sure I want to be their distraction…"

After a one of a kind, rather weird courting you gave in and accepted to be his fake girlfriend: behind the cameras and the paps' flashes you kept on behaving normally, as if nothing happened, as if you were still a couple of good friends and nothing more.

One of the reasons why you didn't want this thing to happen was because you knew, like it or not, something deep down your soul would have changed the way you perceived him and, consequently, the trajectory of your friendship. You always had a soft spot for him, not only because he was one your best friends but because something stronger was burning inside of you.

When his best mates would nudge him to tell him someone was watching or it was time for him to start his little act of the boyfriend in love your heart started racing: the way he would move closer to sneak his arm around your waist and graze the pad of his thumb against your hip bone, matched with the tender touch of his lips lingering against your jaw made you feel kind of dizzy. What if you were falling in love with one of your closest friends, for real, not just to play some senseless game?

"We would really make a cute couple" He whispered in your ear, giggling.

You giggled back, annoyed by how this thing was a bit too funny to him. 

"We should break up at some point, you know that?"

"Who said that?" He kissed the sensitive skin behind your ear, causing goosebumps all over your arms.

"God Mase, I hate you sometimes" 

The smirk on your face as he was holding you tight to him made you a very bad liar, there’s no other place you would have rather be in.

Those days were soon turning into a slow agony: Mason would swim close to you and give you underwater hugs, napping with you on the same bed, placing his hands on your hips in the club at night so your bodies would sway together to the rhythm of the loud music. You were doing all the things a couple would do but you weren’t a couple.

This dynamic cooled down when it was time for him to get back in business as things at Cobham weren’t going particularly well but you were sure he’d have sorted it out as he was Chelsea through and through. But you were wrong.

He avoided talking about what direction his football career would have taken even with you, who used to be the one he would tell everything, even the smallest things.

When the day prior to his official announcement he sat on your bed in your London house to tell you he accepted the bid Manchester United made for him so he would have moved up north rather soon you felt as if the whole world was falling upon your shoulders and Mason was your whole world.

"Wh - what? You're not a Chelsea player anymore?"

The sadness filling his eyes was heartbreaking to say the least, he was gutted to leave his heart's club, most of all because he was kind obliged to do so if he wanted to go on playing, which was the thing that mattered the most to him.

Mason nodded as his chocolate pupils followed your body falling to the ground, on your knees.

"Hey, are you -" He asked, getting up in a rush to take you.

"Don't touch me"

He gave you a puzzled look and you soon provided him with an explanation. 

"You knew it, you knew you'd have left Chelsea and London from the beginning. That's why you dyed your hair this awful blonde that makes you look like a fuckboy. I hate you. You just used me for fun and you knew it from the beginning!" You cried out, trying to fight back the tears.

“You agreed when I told you about the fake relationship”

“Yes but you did it only because you already knew you would have left Chelsea and you used me as a shield against the fucking press!”

“I - didn’t know anything about United, we were in talks but it wasn’t official at all!”

“Fuck off Mason” You muttered, lowering your eyes as if you were looking for something on the carpet your tired body was abandoned on. Mason didn’t dare to look at you either, keeping his gaze down too.

"I dyed my hair simply because I liked it, because I had a shitty season felt the need to change something…I like you too"

"You what?" Your eyes now had to stop looking for something that didn’t exist on the floor and start to look at the handsome boy before you who just happened to say something quite powerful.

"Y/N I wanted to have some fun, yes, but I also liked you for quite a while and I didn't know how to tell you not to ruin our friendship." He kept on explaining with the softest voice.

“Oh so you now think you can get away with it by saying some sweet words??” Yes, those sweet words surely had an effect on you and denying it was the biggest lie ever.

“Come to Manchester with me”

That invite left you in a shocked state as it was the last thing you were expecting: why should he ask you to follow him away from London? You were good friends but that’s not the kind of question usually asked to someone who’s only a friend.

“Did you hear what I said?? I don’t even know if I want to be your friend anymore. You just used me and now you’re asking me to leave my city, my everyday life to follow you?”

“Yes, because I love you”

The three words. Mason just said those three words to you. 

“You’ve always been there for me when I needed it, you always keep up with my shit, including faking a love relationship, but now I feel like I’m ready to have a real one. I wanna get home from training and see you there, dozing off on the sofa and kiss your forehead or taking you out to dinner at some fancy place”

Mason was there, looking as the most fragile creature you’ve ever seen, opening his heart to you with no fear, he was being the Mason you fell in love with, little by little, over the years.

Warm tears, joyful ones this time, started rolling down your cheeks as you threw your arms around his neck, causing him to fall flat on the mattress.

“I hate you, blondie”

“You love this blondie, you’re such a bad liar” You got lost in each other’s eyes that were shining with a different light, a warmer one.

“This could be the moment where I confess I’ve always been secretly in love with you but I won’t” You whispered shyly, making him smile.

He smirked and caressed your lower back in a circular motion.

“You hid it quite well actually” You both giggled before he pressed his lips against yours in a real kiss, one of those sloppy but heartfelt kisses that took you to another dimension, a dreamy and ideal one.

The moment you were living was just too intense to think about anything else and soon you found yourself straddling him, not even realising the speed at which your clothes fell on the floor, too busy making love to him for the first time.

That bed felt like the best place on earth, the one where all your dreams and hopes became true, the one where you were safe from every danger the outside world might be holding against you.

“This is not just a summer thing, right?”

“This will be a thing for many summers to come”

Mase’s arms were now your home, the shelter you would have run to in case of extreme glee or of unbearable pain, it was the place to be.

[miralunawritez]

The Other Woman...

Cheating hcs for Veneer & Velvet

warnings: mention of screaming, violence, stalking (indirect and direct), murd3r, alc0h0l abu$3

Veneer:

When you're suspicious:

Tries to lie about it when you find out, saying that someone was setting him up

Super obvious, his phone is never on silent and has one for work and one for personal use, just looking through his contacts gave you suspicions

Horrible liar, "they are just an old friend that wanted to catch up", "oh my lipstick is smudged because of the cup i was drinking out of"

Starts hiding his phone from you more, being more secretive, making sure only the back of his phone is facing you when he is texting the person he is cheating on you with

He acts more affectionate than before, hoping that you will stay with him if you find out

Once he texts you goodnight, he texts the other person asking if they are awake

He always cancels or reschedules plans with you to hang oit out with the other person

When you find out:

Once you confront him about it he tries to play victim, lying and trying to convince you that they mean nothing and that they made moves on him and he was too nervous to do anything about it

His heart drops to his ass once you pull up screenshots of Veneers conversation with the other person that someone sent you

"These are fake! I would never cheat on you! Here, you can go through my phone!" He yells out, anxiously trying to delete the conversation with the other person

His desperation is quickly replaced with fear as you snatch his phone out of his hands before he can delete the messages and he hears your blood curdling scream of pure rage

"Baby please..it was a mistake please lets just talk about this"

He stands their helplessly as you throw the closests objects to you at him, trying to dodge them while you scream "I FUCKING HATE YOU" over and over again

"Please babe I'm sorry! You dont have to do this.."

"You werent sorry until you got caught." You were right, he wasnt sorry until he got caught.

He stood there watching you absolutely destroy his room, flipping dressers over, throwing his phone at the wall, shattering it, breaking framed pictures of you and veneer by slamming them onto the floor. His whole world was collapsing around him and there was nothing he could do about it

Begged for you to stay with him, which you obviously didnt

After you found out and left him:

The realization of the huge loss he experienced finally hit him, feelings of regret and guilt filling his body

He spent countless nights crying, wishing he never did what he did

He ended up blocking the person never wanting to see them or hear from them ever again. just hearing their name makes his heart heavy and makes him sick to his stomach, reminding him of how they completely destroyed his relationship with you, his first love

He messes up at all of his shows, which pisses Velvet off. He doesn't care though, all he can think of is how things ended with you

He replays the scene in his head 24/7, your words echoing in his head ("I FUCKING HATE YOU", "You werent sorry until you got caught")

He tries to convince Velvet to help him get you back, which she refuses to do

He stalks all your social media accounts, bawling his eyes out when he sees you, wanting you to just hold him and forgive him

Doesnt move on, he is determined to wait for you to come back to him

Drinks every single night, its the only thing that can get you off his mind (temporarily)

If you decide to go back to him:

He does EVERYTHING HE CAN to make sure you trust him, giving you the passwords to his phones, setting them down face up when leaving a room that you are in, bringing you everywhere, etc

Posts you like crazy, letting everyone know he is taken

Doesnt follow anyone of your gender on social media (expect for you, if ur a female he only follows you and Velvet)

Always reassures you if you suspect he is cheating on you again, doing everything in his power to prove to you that he isnt

He genuinely has changed, he worked on himself to be better for you

If you move on:

He is in denial at first

Once he sees proof that you have moved on he actually goes insane

Pays people to watch your every move and report it back to him

Still convinced that you will come back to him, telling people that y'alls relationship is just complicated

If you're a popstar, he goes to all of your concerts (buying backstage passes too)

Buys multiple phones just to call you from an unblocked number

Probably pays someone to kill your new partner

Velvet:

When you're suspicious:

You notice she starts to act different, being more distant and avoidant

It was harder to tell with her since she's already secretive with her phone

Blows up on you when you ask if there is another person, telling you that your crazy for thinking that (making ur suspicions grow)

After cheating for a while she starts to get more clingy, hoping it would cancel out her actions

She is never around anymore, shes always with the other person

She gets anxious when you ask to use her phone, asking you what you need it for, quickly deleting messages and pictures, and looking over your shoulder as you use it

You finally decided to go through her phone when she "lost it" (she left it unintended so you took it)

When you found out:

Got very mad and aggressive when you confronted her, yelling at you while clenching her fists, trying her hardest not to charge at you

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

Does she regret cheating on you? No. Not yet atleast.

Like veneer, she tries to play victim

(for fem readers) You continued to go through the messages until you finally lost it, charging at her while crying and screaming insults, throwing punches and ripping at her hair

(for fem readers) Her anger quickly converted to fear as she tried to push you off of her, not being able to because of how strong you are

(for fem readers) Veneer eventually came rushing in, pulling you off of her and holding onto you to prevent you from accidentally killing her

(for fem readers) She cries hard, even after you just beat her ass, pleading for you to stay with her

"Please don't leave me Y/N..I'm so sorry.." Words you never thought you would hear.

She watched as you left, her world absolutely destroyed, finally regretting cheating on you

After you found out and left her:

Completely destroyed, actually letting Crimp comfort her, along with Veneer

Wishes she could take back what she did and get you back

Cant get herself to delete the pictures of you two together, not wanting to let you go

Able to hide her pain from the public (Still performing good, looking like she's perfectly fine, posting positive things on social media, etc)

Doesnt talk to or date anyone else, just incase you decide to come back to her

Gets upset when the break up gets mentioned in interviews, barely able to hide her pain, tears welling up in her eyes (she blames it on allergies)

Stalks all your social media accounts, making alt accounts and commenting on your posts (pretending to be someone else and trying to convince you to get back with her)

Looks for you in public places, hoping to accidentally run into you

If you decide to go back to her:

Spends the whole relationship trying to apologize (going on more dates with you, spending A LOT of money on you, posting you very frequently, letting everyone know shes locked in and doesnt want anyone else, etc)

Gives you the password to her phone and all of her social media accounts

Works on communication, getting better at reassuring you if your still shaken up about there being someone else

Wants you to move past it, but she knows how hard it is for you so she stays patient

Shows you off like a kid who just got a new toy, talking about how amazing you are and how much she loves you

If you move on:

In denial, not believing it

"You're joking? Right?"

She gets more distant from everyone, wanting to isolate herself

She finds out who you're dating almost immediately, stalking their posts, occasionally dming them, trying to sabotage their relationship with you

It takes her a full year to get over you, it was the hardest and most painful year of her life

She still thinks about you a lot, since she still sees you all over social media

Eventually falls back in love with you, having to repeat the process of getting over you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

took long enough damn 😭😭

[just-my-type-x]

jealous and toxic colby please

Bitch, U Better Be Joking

Pic from Pinterest

Relationships are hard, especially when you try your best to be good enough for your partner and in return you get yelled at for being too clingy or an attention seeker. I roll my eyes once more when i get out of Colby's backseat, while he chats with Amber, the conversation not looking like will ever come to an end. He barely said something to me since we left the house like total strangers. I don't doubt the fact that he loves me, but he has an annoying way of keeping me out of the public relationship life. We've been through this conversation, multiple times, even our closest friends who know about us have talked to Colby about us finally posting something about what's going on between the two of us. Some fans already suspect us to be more than just friends, it's not like we would shock the world. But no, he says he protects me by tossing me away and arriving at parties talking to another girl. Something thay bothers me even more is that Amber has no idea about us, because when asked, Colby said we're just friends. So this is how i will act with him tonight.

We enter Amber's friends house, who throws this party to celebrate this big brand deal he's signed. We greet the people close to the entrance and immediately spot Jack and we're quick to go hug him. Happy that I'm not here just with Amber and Colby, i see Sam, Kat and Nate entering the house. A sigh of relief escapes my lips.

"Why are you so tensed, babe?", Jack asks me and i realise he has an arm around my waist, waiting for me to hug him.

"Oh, it's nothing. Just a bad headache, I'm not in my best shape", i give him a quick smile and hug him, looking over at Colby, who's already looking at me, frowned, taking a sip of his drink. I back away from Jack and feel my cheeks heat up and walk over to Colby, who puts a hand on my back.

"I hate him", he whispers in my ear.

"Because he hugged me?", i chuckle and put my hand on my back too, just to caress his. He moves his hand slowly away from mine, until he takes it off my back. I swallow my pain look at Colby, who isn't even facing me.

"Don't do that at parties, y/n. There are so many cameras everywhere", he waves at a random girl that walks by and fake smiles at her to keep the appearance of everything being ok.

"Don't you think I've understood that in a year? A year, Colby. A fucking year! Don't even bother to wait for me to drive home", i raise my voice at him and leave him in the spot, while i leave towards the kitchen, where I'm happy there's not much population. I lean on the counter top and massage my temples, when i feel someone next to me. I look up and i see Kat giving me a pitiful look. She reaches to hug me and i instantly let the emotions wash over me, as tears starts falling on my cheeks uncontrollably.

"You're ok, y/n, don't worry. You know Colby doesn't really mean it. He has this weird way of showing his affection - actually i don't kniw what he's showing, but it's definitely because he cares about you", Kat brushes some tears off my face and i shake my head at her words

"Kat, that's not love, that's not anything. People have no idea who i am and they still think he has something for stas like what the fuck. If that's not a red flag, i don't know what it is.", i throw my hands around

"He doesn't like stas, you know that and i promise you it's true", she puts a strand of hair behind my ear

"I don't think i have to believe anything because everything is a facade for something.", i try to look happy as i see Nate coming into the kitchen, his face lightning up when he sees us. Believe it or not, Nate has no idea about Colby and I because Sam was told not to say anything, so yeah, woohoo.

Nate comes to my side and puts an arm around the shoulders, giving me a side hug. I let my arm stay on his waist as we exchange a few words.

"You know, y/n, i think you should have fun tonight." Kat winks at me, then looks at Nate and then back at me. "I'm gonna go find Sam, love you", she leaves Nate and i in the kitchen and we both start looking for something in the huge bar to drink.

"This one?", he shows me a bottle of scotch and i nod, not really caring about what we drink. I decide we go out to the back yard, where there's a pool, yet only ten people around us, compared to fifty in the house. We find some tanning beds and both sit on one, facing each other and the bottle in the middle. "You look amazing, y/n. I don't know if you needed to hear that, but wow", Nate smiles and opens the bottle. I blush, my smile wide.

"i actually needed that, yeah. Thank you, you look amazing too. You're already turning around some heads", i point to some girls who sit on the edge of the pool, looking at us. I take a sip of scotch and cough at the feeling of the burnt throat. He waves at them and they start giggling. Unimpressed, he turns his attention towards me. "Tough crowd?", i raise an eyebrow and he chuckles.

"Just uninterested. Had my eyes on someone else for a while.", he takes a sip of the alcohol and doesn't leave my sight. I sigh. For a second i wish i could tell him about what's on my chest, how Colby treats me when people are around. At home and around Sam and Kat, things are really decent, but i can't have a decent love life.

We lose track of time as we go through numerous subjects and catch up with what has been going on in our lives since we last saw each other for the Madison Infirmary episode. We drunk laugh and tell stories, half of bottled emptied.

"There's no way he did that!", i say, putting a hand on his shoulder because of how hard I'm laughing. "Sam was such a figure when he was younger", i brush a tear from the corner of my eye.

"What the hell are you doing here?", Colby's thick voice makes us stop in our tracks and my smile quickly fades away. I check my phone and gasp at the 15 missed calls and 23 texts from Colby from an hour ago. We get up from the tanning bed and Colby stops between us. He turns to Nate and puts me behind him.

"Chatting. Why are you so pissed?", Nate asks with a grin, not understanding why his best friend behaves like this. I look somewhere else when Nate meets my eyes.

"My eyes are up here, not behind me. What the hell did you do for two hours here, all by yourselves?", Colby raises his voice and turns around to face me.

"Where the fuck were you for two hours, not giving a shit about me?", i yell at him and move a few steps away from him.

"I'm sorry, what's going on?", Nate asks

"You were here all this time, 'chatting' with my girlfriend. You drank almost a bottle of alcohol and you're telling me you just talked?"

"Your girlfriend? Since when is she your girlfriend and why didn't i know that?", Nate scoffs and starts laughing. "You're telling me that i should believe the crap you're telling me right now?", he runs a hand through his hair, losing his patience

"Yes, my girlfriend. We've been dating for a year now", Colby calms down and pulls me in for a side hug, but i shake my head and just walk closer to him for his arm to fall on my waist.

"You're shitting me", Nate looks from me to Colby and then turns around, running his hands over his face.

"No, I'm not. Why are you acting like this?", Colby asks frustrated

"Maybe because he's your best friend and you didn't tell him about us. Maybe because it's normal, in a loving relationship, for the couple to come forward and to fucking say that the other is not available.", i shout at Colby and push my pointing finger on his chest to make my statements more clear." Because if you don't do at least this fucking thing, your partner will seek this somewhere else. ", a tear falls on my cheek, unable to hold back my tears anymore.

"So you came to Nate for help?", from everything I've said, Colby understands this. I shake my head in disbelief. "Dude, i swear to God if you kissed her, i don't know-"

"I didn't touch her. Bro, come back to planet Earth. Look how you treat her. She loves the living hell out of you because otherwise i don't know what she's doing with you. And no, i didn't kiss her, but if you didn't show up, i might have had.", Nate takes the bottle and walks away, throwing it somewhere in the garden, glass breaking everywhere. My body is shaking because of all the adrenaline that I'm feeling from the moment.

"Bitch, you better be joking", I catch Colby's arm when he wants to follow Nate back into the house.

"You stay here, cause I'm not done with you. I want to break up with you", Colby turns to face me immediately and his face becomes as white as a wall. He shakes his head, but i nod, swallowing hard my tears and hoping that my voice doesn't crack. "I'm done. I can't fight for us anymore. This is not who i fell for. Who the fuck are you?", i raise my voice at him and i take a step back, running my hands through my hair. "I haven't been happy in months, because you keep flirting with everyone to be 'yourself' and you're killing me Colby!", i break down crying and i sit on one of the closest tanning beds. He's quick to come and kneel down at my feet, resting his arms on my legs, his hands trying to take my own hands off my face to hold them.

"No, don't say that. I just wanted to protect you from what people say. You know how mean they get", his voice is calm now, but his eyes are red and he's on the verge to cry too. I shake my head.

"I'd prefer them telling me to go to hell every day rather than having you push me away and deny my touches because people see us. And not just random people, our friends and fucking girls that you've had sex with and who come and talk to you like you're some kind of freeway. "

Colby just stares at me and a tear falls on his cheek but he wipes it away fast, but another one is quick to follow.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry that I was so stupid to ignore you like that and to treat you like this the whole damn time. I don't want to lose you. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, baby, please", he begs, kissing the back of my right hand. I take it away and get up.

"I can't live like this with you. It's not healthy for me. It's enough that you didn't even realise what you were doing", my voice cracks and i look away. Colby comes in front of me and cups my face gently.

"I love you, I'm sorry. I will do everything that i can to make things right. I was so stupid, i know i don't deserve you, Nate was right, but give me a chance to change everything. I will listen to whatever you want me to do regarding our relationship and we'll talk things through. Please, y/n, just please, one more chance. I know i won't screw it up because i fucking love you like crazy. I can't afford to lose a piece of me. ", i hug Colby and we both let go and sob. I pull away after a few moments and wipe my tears with my sleeve. I nod.

"Ok, fine, I'll forgive you, but please, just please, be yourself around me. That's all i ask. Fuck a public picture, i want you to kiss me at parties, hug me, dance with me, i couldn't give a fuck about who takes our picture and neither should you. I'm a grown woman, let the hate comments come in cause i can handle them. I can't handle you mistreating me, ok? "

"yeah, yeah, anything you want. Just take me on this journey with you because i have no idea how to handle things. Especially relationships, in case you didn't figure it out in a year.", Colby chuckles. I nod again and hug him, while he kisses the top of my head and my forehead. "Let's go inside. I need to talk to Nate"

"I should apologise too.", i realise. "I kinda lied to him too.", i say as we walk towards the house holding hands

"Did he really want to kiss you?", Colby's grip tightens because of jealousy

"I think he was just messing with you", i laugh

"He better"

A/N: hey, so since i got this request, i didn't really know what to expect from myself to write. I also wanted to find a happy ending because I'm all about the good vibes and stuff. This aside, just wanted to tell you that if you're going through these type of things in your relationship, just think twice about it, ok? Because you're supposed to be happy and healthy, not depressed and unfulfilled. Staying in a toxic relationship isn't the way and just telling yourself that your partner is going to change is just a comfort lie to postpone the inevitable. Respect yourself and be the bad bitch you were born to be and find someone who makes you the best version of yourself. Find that someone who takes care of you, don't stay with the one that brings you down along with them.

This was purely fictional and u do not encourage getting back together with a person that treats you similarly or acts similarly. I did that and it took me years to recover. So learn from my mistakes and know when enough is enough.

I love you and i hope you're staying hydrated, i hope you're eating something and i hope you're getting enough sleep ♥️

[sigridstumb]

Unmasking makes me an asshole, though.

The more I think about my autism, the more I think I don't have an actual personality.

Hear me out, this one is complicated.

And I am ABSOLUTELY NOT speaking for All Autistic People, so if this doesn't sound like your experience, cool! No worries! Have your own autism, I understand that it comes in a huge variety of flavors!

I learned as a very young child that what I said and did was Weird and Wrong. So as a very young child -- four or five years old -- I started copying people. I copied other kids, I copied adults, I copied characters in books most of all. This method was hideously flawed, and I was frequently called out for copying people. But sometimes it worked. Sometimes I had social interactions and people responded positively to me. Over time, over elementary school, I slowly learned ways of behaving that made me less visible. That made me blend in.

By the time I was fourteen, I wasn't getting beaten by other kids anymore! It was this miraculous thing, this ability to slide through social worlds and pass as almost like everyone else. I loved it.

In high school I began experimenting with it more. I could act differently around different people! I could talk one way to one friend, and they really liked what I said and they responded very positively, and I could speak in a different way to another person and they responded positively to that! It was only weird and strained if I was in a situation where BOTH of those people were present. Then they each thought I was a weird fake liar, because why did I act like THAT? What did I REALLY think and feel? When was I lying, and to whom?

Everyone. I was lying to everyone.

No-one. I was lying to no-one.

I had Goals. Social goals. 1) Not be hit, kicked, spat on, tripped, or shoved. 2) Not have adults angry with me. 3) Not have anyone know that I was an alien mutant waiting for my superpower to kick in. 4) Have sparkly interesting people like me and think I was funny and kind.

I watched people. I listened. I practiced facial expressions in the mirror. I read a LOT of comics, because in comics characters perform actions while thinking about their motivations, and I could see what facial expression and body language they used to convey or hide what they thought and felt. I played AD&D, and tried out different voices - vocal tones, accents, pitches, etc. I learned what the people I found interesting liked, wanted, thought, and felt. I gave them what they wanted, and in return they wanted me around.

This worked so well, most of the time, that I continued doing it until about two years ago. Three decades, more or less, I did this.

When was I lying? And to whom?

Constantly, to myself.

I do not know how to turn the people-suit off. Now that I understand and know what I am doing, I don't know how to stop. Or, rather, I can absolutely stop! And then my closest relationships get damaged. There's this whole "everyone should be able to unmask!" thing going on, and I get it, I truly do, but if I completely stop masking I AM A FUCKING ASSHOLE.

I don't want to be an asshole. I care about people, at least a handful of them. Maybe twenty, total. I don't want to hurt them. So I run scripts literally all the time, in every interaction, I run scripts between what I think and what I say because my first responses DO NOT SUPPORT MY LONG-TERM GOALS.

When someone I care about wants to tell me about something they are interested in, my first thought is almost always "why are you telling me this? I don't care about this." But I care about the PERSON, so I run one of the five or so "I am interested in this conversation" scripts. When someone I care about has something bad happen to them, my first thoughts are usually either to say something I think is funny about the bad situation or to say nothing because there is nothing I can do about the bad situation. But because I care about the PERSON, I run scripts of either sympathy or problem-solving, or both.

I don't think this is lying to people. My long-term social goals are to have these people in my life. There are tasks I must accomplish on a regular basis to maintain relationships. Tasks like maintaining facial expressions, correct vocal tones, and proper scripts.

But I think I am lying to myself, in some odd way. Or, rather, I don't know what I would want or how I would act in my life if I did not have relationships. I don't know what my personality would be were I not performing the Sigrid-people-suit in literally every interaction. I don't know, because every time I get close to not performing the people-suit, people I care about are hurt by my words and actions.

In the meantime, I think about it and I talk about it with my partner, and we have come up with ways to manage my unmasking a little bit. It's challenging, and hurtful to both of us sometimes. (I learned last week that apparently there is no neutral register of acknowledging other person's statement of fact, and that if I do not make my acknowledgment sound positive, it sounds negative and mean. I truly believe and intend a neutral "I heard your statement," but this is not an area in which unmasking works for my relationships.) But we are working through it together.

[secretwriterpp]

Angel voice

Summary: Pedro Pascal x Reader. Karaoke night with friends.

***this is officially my first fic! I had this story in my mind for so long, I had to write it. I’m not even a good writer and English is my second language, so I’m sorry if it’s a tough read. No beta , I don’t know anyone who could help me with this , any volunteers ? ***

Warnings: RPF. Just friendships. A little flirting. I guess … two idiots falling in love.

For the last few months , you always walked hand in hand with your new bestie Sarah. The friendship was new, but it was intense. You met her on the set of an amazing indie film. She was the main character and you were the supporting one. It was a movie about a love story between two inspiring women. Loving Sarah on screen and in real life was easy, it felt like you knew her your whole life.

Tonight was no different, your hand into hers , you walked on the sidewalk together with some of her closest friends. Oscar and Elvira were walking behind you whispering sweet nothings to each other while Pedro was the leader of the pack , goofing around , pretending to be in an action movie , hiding from imaginary bad guys. The little group of friends kindly accepted you as the new member of their pack as soon as Sarah introduced you to them. Since you just recently moved to NYC, it was great to have people you could count on.

You were lost in your thoughts , feeling the warmth of the summer breeze on your face and bare shoulders. Only hearing the buzzing sounds of the city. You were having a hard time realizing how lucky you were to have them, to be exactly where you wanted to be with your acting career, you felt really emotional at that moment. Maybe it was the fatigue from the long days on set or maybe it was the effect of Sarah’s earlier questionable concoctions she called her special drinks , but you could cry. You were so lost in your own head that you jumped when you heard Elvira joyous exclamation.

- YEEEES! Come on guys! It’s been a hot minute since we humiliated ourselves properly!

You heard Pedro hum a barely perceptible « oh nooooo » while he formed a fake gun with his hand and pretended to shoot himself. You snapped out of your thoughts and looked at what Elvira was so excited about. You were pleased to see that is was a karaoke bar.

Only Sarah knew that you were a good singer. She called you her soft angel when you sang for her on set. Your favorite Pink Floyd songs were the soundtrack of your blooming friendship. Truth is , you tried to succeed as a singer/songwriter a few years ago, but it just didn’t happen. It was for the best though, now you knew it. After realizing you would probably never be a recording artist , you decided to focus on your acting career and it paid off.

When you entered the bar , it was very noisy, a mix of people singing and other simply screeching , people cheering and others having animated conversations. Elvira was fast to find you guys a place to sit. She knew she had to move fast so Pedro wouldn’t have a good reason to convince them to leave and escape his worst nightmare. It wasn’t a secret that he didn’t like Karaoke, he didn’t want to sing and he didn’t want other people to butchered all of his favorite songs . He mimicked his best suffering expression when the girl on stage started to sing sweet home Alabama with her shrieking voice.

You guys were seated in a big white U shaped bench wrapped around an oval table , perfect to accommodate your little group. You were squished between Sarah and Pedro who were having a deep conversation about the last movie they saw together. You were not complaining , being with them was so much fun and you had to admit that being so close to Pedro was not bad either. Since you met him, you had a little crush on him. Nothing serious, nothing you would tell him about , it was just a fun little game to flirt with him. And oh boy was he a flirt. The little smiles he did when you spoke about your recent projects, the way his eyes just lingered on your mouth, his hands touching your skin every chance he get, followed with a cute wink when your eyes would meet his. It was nothing your brain said , but the butterflies in your stomach made you wonder which body part of yours was right.

Nobody really paid attention to the people who were on stage , a few times, when the performer was not as bad , the girls and you would cheer and sing along. You don’t know how many drinks you guys were in when Elvira came around the table to talked to Pedro.

- So , what are you going to sing tonight Pedrito? Pedro lost his smile and rolled his eyes.

Sarah laughed : I really don’t know if Elvira really loves karaoke or if she just like seeing Pedro suffer!

Pedro: She hates me! She hates that her husband calls me his girlfriend , she’s jealous and that’s her way to get her revenge.

Elvira: Oh please P , not everything is about you!

Pedro did his most exaggerated shocked face: Excuse me! ?

Elvira : All I want to do is sing a sexy duet with MY husband. (Emphasis on the MY) She winked at Pedro

Oscar was already putting their name on the list , there was still a few people before it would be their turn. On his way back he grabbed a few shots for all of you.

Pedro turned to help Oscar with the shooter glasses: -Your wife sings like an half dead cat , I will need multiples of these.

Elvira punched Pedro on the arm while you and Sarah giggled at their imaginary love triangle.

Sarah: y/n should sing! She will change your mind about karaoke Pedro. She sings like an angel!

You blushed.

Oscar teased his friend : you should sing his favorite song!

Pedro immediately interrupted him, making no signs with his head and both his arms : oh no! No, no, no, no, no. Do not touch Prince. NO!

Sarah: I know! You should sing Dreams! You have the perfect voice for that song. Anyway, you can’t sing any Pink Floyd songs , those are just for me , plus this bar is not the vibe for that.

- Wow Sarah , are you flirting with me ? I have the voice to cover Stevie ? Please , no.

Even if you wanted to protest the song choice , it was too late. Elvira literally jumped out of her seat and was already adding your name to the list. It’s not that you didn’t want to sing , you loved it , but now the pressure was on. What if they didn’t like how you sing it ? What if Pedro didn’t like it ? The moment you met him, you needed him to like you. Was that how you felt with all your past “little crush”? Once again, you were lost in your spinning mind.

Sarah brought you back to earth : - don’t worry , your voice is magical. She thought you were worried about your skills.

For the next hour, you mostly had to listen to bad singers , it was almost torture sometimes. Fortunately, the alcool was smoothly flowing , making it all more bearable. Even Pedro looked like he was having fun. Every time he laughed he immediately clung to the person who made the joke. Resting his head on their shoulder, reaching out to hold their arm or squeeze their tight just above the knee. You couldn’t help and match his energy, every single thing he said that made you laugh you touched his skin. His wrist, his bicep, his neck. You were too far into your gin tonic consumption to care what people would think of it, what he would think of it.

It was finally Oscar and Elvira’s turn to sing. They chose to sing the Dirty Dancing hit “time of my life”

Pedro was exasperated : damn they are so annoyingly cheesy.

That they were , but it was so adorable at the same time. Their love was radiating on stage. Elvira was indeed a bad singer , half dead cat would not be your choice of words, you were too polite for that. Oscar could hold a note , but he kept messing the lyrics of the song, they both laughed in their microphones when they missed a word. You and Sarah cheered for them like it was the most crucial sport event.

———-–—————————————————

Pedro was genuinely having fun. The running gag was that he hated karaoke, he did , but seeing his friends having fun was way more important to him than his hatred of bad singing. Elvira and Oscar were doing their thing on stage and he was impressed by their lack of self awareness. They massacred that poor song. He cheered for them anyways. They ended their performance by doing a little spinning dance move , it was disgusting how much they loved each other.

Pedro could hear you ask Sarah: Seriously Sarah , this kind of love really exists ? Or is it just for them?

Pedro felt a sting in his heart. He wondered why you didn’t believe it could exist? Wondered if someone hurt you in the past. He wasn’t really a big believer in love with a capital L himself , he didn’t really do relationships, but it wasn’t okay with him that you would have this kind of thoughts, that you would feel that way too. It felt unfair. Since he met you, he felt very protective of you. You were so sweet and kind.

Sarah : I think it exists , but theirs is definitely one of a kind.

Elvira was skipping her way to your table , still on her adrenaline high.

-We slayed it!!! Didn’t we ?

-Pedro pointed his right ear : Sorry , I can’t hear you , my ears are bleeding.

Elvira raised her two middle fingers at him and mouthed a very felt “fuck you P”.

Oscar came to his wife defense: you were perfect my love , I’m the one who forgot entire parts of the song. Pedro is just jealous that I didn’t slow dance with him on stage.

Pedro touched your shoulder : hey y/n ! I think it’s your turn. He watched you get up of your seat and walk towards the stage. You looked relaxed and confident. Maybe she really is a good singer he thought or maybe she’s just too tipsy to be bothered by any of this.

He followed your every step. He didn’t realize before that moment how little you were wearing tonight. Just a tiny lilac summer dress. Your legs, shoulders , cleavage , all exposed under the intense stage lights. Your dress was way too short for you to stand close to the edge of the stage. You were not that drunk, he saw you take a few steps back when you realized some creeps in the front were more than happy to look up your dress. You nodded to the host and the song began to play in the loud room.

Dreams was one of his favorite songs. He was a huge Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks fan. Normally, he would dread the moment you would open your mouth to sign his favorite lyrics , but right now he was just curious. He was hypnotized by the way you swayed your hips to the beat. Those few seconds at the beginning of the song felt like minutes to him. Right before you parted your lips to sing your first note you looked at him and winked. He felt everything squeeze inside of him, like his heart stopped. He held his breath , hoping he wouldn’t have to lie to you later and pretend he liked your voice. He felt the urge to cover his ears to avoid to deal with that possibility. But then he heard you.

🎶 Now here you go again, you say you want your freedom

His body instinctively relaxed , but he had to listen more , just to be sure.

🎶 Well, who am I to keep you down?

The noise in the bar significantly went down.

🎶 It’s only right that you should play the way you feel it. But listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness.

- No fucking way ! That’s all Oscar could say looking at Sarah with a surprised expression in his face. Elvira was already clapping hard for you.

- Told you guys , an angel.

🎶 Like a heartbeat, drives you mad

That was his favorite lyric in the song , his jaw dropped slightly. Your voice was soft and smooth. It was definitely different from the original singer but it was beautiful. By the time your were at the chorus he was completely lost in your voice. Feeling the beat passing through the speakers and vibrating straight into his chest. The bar was quiet, everyone dropped their beer to drink at your words instead.

~Maybe he likes karaoke he thought , nooooooo, maybe he likes you. ~

It felt like he was gone for so long when you sang the last words.

🎶 Oh oh oh , you’ll know ….

The crowd went crazy when you finished. And then suddenly his feeling flipped and it felt like he didn’t really have time to enjoy your performance , it went by too fast.

——————————————————-

You smiled at your audience and did a little bow before exiting the stage. You were overwhelmed by the crowd’s reaction. You focused on your group of friends , walking back towards them with the biggest smile on your face. You did it , they liked it.

Elvira was the first one jumping in your arms , she was so excited.

-OMG Baby, you should sing for a living , that was amazing . I feel like I should pay you right now.

You laughed, she was exaggerating , but you were grateful for the compliment. Oscar was next, bowing before you.

- I surrender at your talent , queen of karaoke. El and I will give you our crowns.

Sarah sang proud and loud : I TOLD YOU GUYS!!!

Pedro looked at you with his big brown eyes and his bright smile and pulled you close to hug you. He whispered in your ear

- you almost made me cry.

You stayed in his arms for a while, he held you tight, his chin on your head.

The night slowly came to an end, the conversations began to be more sparse and you all agreed that it it was time to go back to your respective apartment. You went to bed feeling proud and feeling loved. You fell asleep trying to remember how it felt to have his arms wrapped around you.

———————————————————

Pedro was lying in his bed , thinking about the night , about how he felt. What he felt wasn’t new to him, but it was something he didn’t feel for a long time. He didn’t let himself feel that way, he never let himself be in situation that could lead him to feeling that way. When did he let his guard down? That squishing feeling inside his stomach, he could not shake it off. He could not be in love ? It was just silly… He could not be in love just because you had the sweetest singing voice he ever heard ? That’s just stupid. He knew it wasn’t just that. Your hips, your lips, your skin, your eyes , your laugh, your smile.

- Fuck.

[andy4yippee]

Dark riddlebat fanfic the poll was about, thisll be a series that i hope ill finish :) not beta read..

Tastes like silver . (pt. 1)

BRUCE WAYNE X EDWARD NASHTON

CONTENT WARNINGS : illegal substance abuse, mentions of toxic relationships that are brief. Hallucinations and a PTSD mention.

Taglist For DC content (comment if youd like to be added.) : @cutesludge

The clock struck one.

Batman-- Bruce, sat at a circular table. along with superman, aquaman..you get the spiel. meeting.

staring.

staring at nobody, at a wall.

Bruce pushes his tounge between his two front teeth, his thumb tense rather than resting in the webspace between his index and thumb calmy.

Nashton. Edward.

Cocky bastard.

He'd always say things, have the last word. it was bothering. very. Bruce hated it, he hated him. He was quite the stuck up. He knew he would do it just to get on his ass, to annoy him. And,

he considered giving him away to the police.

multiple times. but, that wasnt a option.

Edward had been..meeting up with him. Nothing weird!

And, bruce.. He couldn't sleep. He didn't really have a reason, per say, but, Bruce couldn't fall asleep. physically, could not.

he usually had power naps. he did have power naps. 20, 30 minutes twice a day.

It wouldnt work anymore. he could not go to sleep. he was tired -- miserable.

So, he did the only normal thing.

Pay for drugs.

Yes, Batman. Bruce Wayne. Snorting Xanax. On a good day, just enough weed to knock him out. what a sight!!

And, bought from the Riddler, too.

It worked. Put him right to sleep, or..whatever you call that. he would either do it in his car, or in his bedroom. and god did he sleep! but woke up after,

sick,

sweating,

and,

gross.

Every time, Bruce said--

"This is my last one." as he unwrapped the pill from a tissue, shakingly placed it on his dashboard, crushed it with anything he could find,

snorted it,

and passed out in his car for hours.

But every time, he went back. the addiction- it was horrible, he wished he never got into it. He wished he put Riddler in jail when he found him.

But, they were both stuck. Bruce couldn't tell the police about Edward, Because, they'd find out he was doing drugs.

that would be quite the news headline. Bruce chuckled.

and, Edward couldn't tell the police, nevermind go near one.

But- taking the drug, it was noticeable.

Bruce wasn't as sharp. he wasn't as polite. Clark, one of his closest friends, saw obviously that he wasn't ok.

Alfred saw that he wasn't ok.

Selina saw.

Gordon saw.

Dick saw.

Everybody saw.

And he'd try to fake it, tried to pretend he wasn't drowsy.

pretend that his mouth wasn't always dry, pretend that he didn't have a horrible memory, pretend that he didn't have hammering headaches.

But god, was it hard. Bruce wasn’t sure how much longer he could take of it, honestly. And quite frankly, people were starting to notice so much they asked him about it.

“Bruce.”

“Bruce?”

He snapped out of his trance of staring at a particular, non busy spot on the floor.

“Yeah? Whats up?”

Clark stares back at him, frowning, breathing out before he talks. Hesitating.

“Whats, uh..whats wrong with you, bud?” He asked, hand holding up his head.

Bruce chuckled, looking around and acting surprised.

“You’re asking me that? Uh, whats up with..that girl? Right?” He pointed at a random woman on the street.

“She seems down.” He said, before realizing the pun he accidentally incorporated, laughing harder.

“Quite down..” clark mumbles, staring out the window, before getting back on track.

“Ok, seriously, talk to me.”

Bruce coughs.

“About what? The weather?? Y’know, it is quite nice out today, might have a cookout! So, how are—“

“Bruce.”

A hand grabs his wrist.

“Clark.” He clears his throat.

“We should talk.”

The clock strikes three.

“Bruce, what is wrong!?” Clark says, voice raising in volume.

It was just them in the meeting room, just them in the building. Clarks voice bounced off the walls of the room and leaked behind the doors, into the stairways.

“I dont know.” He mumbles aggressively. Clark had been trying to get him to talk, and ‘i dont know’ was the best, honest response yet.

“Bruce, you- you can talk to me! You haven’t even talked to Alfred about whatever’s going on.”

“You’ve talked to Alfred? About- about me?”

“That doesn’t matter.” Clark scoffs, bouncing off from leaning on the table.

“Bruce, somethings up, and i mean..i care for you, ok? Whats happening? I wont tell anybody.”

Bruce clears his throat.

“I just feel lost, i guess.”

“Why?”

“I feel like I’ve lost my life. Its seriously out of my grasp and control, and i always feel in control, so its stressing.”

“That makes sense, i get it.”

Bruce chuckled. He didnt get it. He usually felt insane pride, like he was better than everyone. But he lost that, he lost his sins.

His sins made him feel human.

Now, he felt more stupid than he ever could, as unimportant as you could be.

“Yeah..uhm, hey, hows the villain fighting? Riddlers still out there, right?”

Bruce paused.

“Yep. I hope we’ll find him soon.” Bruce looks at the window.

“Look at me.”

— what?

Bruce shivered.

“Look at me, bruce.”

Bruce looked at Clark, eyes wide,

“Yes?”

“Youre no good of a liar.”

“What?”

“Youre no good of a liar. Spend your lies on someone else.”

Bruces eyes filled with tears, his mouth quivering.

“Im not lying to you, clark?”

— bruce?

“Hey, look at me.”

“What?”

“Are you ok? Whats going on?” Clark was now closer to him, his hand rubbing bruces arm.

Bruce looked at clark, the shivers disappeared.

“Sorry. Uhm, must be some kinda flashback thing.” Bruce shrug.

“PTSD? You..i mean, yeah. Kinda looked like it. But dont they last longer?”

“I dunno. Uhm, hey..Y’know what? This helped. Im gonna catch the road, before the weather gets shitty.”

“Really? Uh, bruce-“

“Seeya.” Bruce smiles, waving as he walked down the stairway, getting out of the room quickly, leaving clark worried.

As bruce arrived home, The rain pelted down relentlessly on the streets of Gotham.

His shoulders slumped, opening the mansion door.

He dropped his things inside, didn’t bother to look in a mirror, and briefly said hi to alfred before opening the door again,

Going back to that car,

Parking it in a alleyway.

Again, and again.

But even in his sleep, he felt alone, and he felt like no one cared.

That plunge into darkness, it didn’t help him. And, he wasn’t so sure why he kept going back.

[alexanderlightweight]

writing Wednesday!!! best day of the week!

My prompt, if it suits you: During the first uprising the circle won and took over rule of shadowhunter society. Fast forward about 2 decades and reluctant circle soldier Alec gets thoroughly seduced to join the downworlder resistance by Magnus 💜🖤💜🖤

It’s so sweet that you think it’s the best day! But it’s also the best day of my week where I get amazing prompts like this one.

Uh okay so this is super dddne (not malec) okay? Canon typical implications of: torture/genocide/war/incest/obsession/brainwashing/homophobia

suicide mention/ideation and graphic mention of self harm to the degree that it could be considered a suicide attempt but is also an attempt at getting free.

Ahahaha… I’m not even sure I can should say ‘I hope you enjoy’ with this one but I really do hope so. Also this was a super complex (and enjoyable prompt) because it changes the dynamic of the entire shadowworld.

This is not morgernstern friendly btw

—

Alec sits as still as possible but with his muscles loose and his spine straight but relaxed.

He’s in a predator's den and even if his mother were here with him, he would still be on his own.

“So, Alec—“ and Valentine smiles at him, lips curled in an utterly charming and fake smile. “You’ve impressed your mother and myself, neither of which are easy things to accomplish.”

And Alec, oh he hates where this is going.

Because he’s almost nineteen and his mother gets colder and sharper and more deadly with her disappointment every year. Never once has she complimented him and to hear this, Alec knows it’s nothing good.

“You’ve never once asked to leave Alicante and you’ve never slacked on your training.”

Alec has asked for both of those from his mother, at the same time.

Once.

He learned quickly to never ask anything from anyone ever again.

“It’s my duty.” Alec recites as he twirls his noodles and he hates how good the meal is. “You wish for me to be here, so here I’ll stay. Every nephilim requires training, it is our honor to fulfill it, and a blessing to do so in the divinity of our homeland.”

Alec has practiced small phrases here and there on his own parents, he knows almost everything that is safe to say around Valentine.

Valentine's grin grows a little brighter, a little more real and Alec swallows another bite of noodles instead of shuddering.

“Well, despite your issues—“ and Alec’s stomach shrivels as Valentine frowns, the reminder that everyone knows Alec doesn’t like girls hanging over Alec’s head like the blade of the soul sword. “Maryse and I feel as though you’ve earned a reward. For all of your loyalty and hard work.”

Valentine is talking like he’s one of Alec’s parents and Alec can’t stop himself from paling because he knows nothing good comes from Valentine’s rewards.

They are traps wrapped in filigree promotions and satin words.

“Your mother has been my most loyal and she and I agree that it’s a pity our family legacies haven’t been joined before. I’ve been very careful with Clarissa and sometimes she does act a little silly, but she’s fifteen now. Sixteen by the time you’re twenty, I think it would be a good fit, for both of you. Our labs will ensure there are no issues with having heirs.”

Alec can understand exactly what Valentine is saying. They want him to marry Clary. To get her pregnant as many times as Valentine asks, to be her protective shadow and her strategist and also the chain around her impulses.

Because Clary is spoiled and doted on and while she’s a spitfire fighting — violent and vicious and slightly deranged — she lacks any of the qualities for leadership that Valentine wants. Because she does what she wants, when she wants and if she doesn’t get her way, it goes poorly.

She’s a mad dog, waiting to be put down and Alec is the prison they want to chain her to.

She is also secretly dating Jace Herondale.

And Jace is the closest thing that Alec has to a friend, even if Alec doesn’t get to actually have friends. And while Jace doesn’t know Alec knows, it’s hard not to with how obnoxiously blatant they are.

Jonathan is smiling too.

But his smile is less fake and more considering, appreciation that Alec doesn’t trust in his gaze.

“I’m honored.” Is the only thing Alec can say even though this is the worst thing to ever happen to him and even by nephilim standards, Alec knows his life has been pretty miserable.

“I thought you would be!” And by the angel, Valentine looks really, honestly thrilled and Alec wants to throw up.

But that would be insulting and he can’t afford to insult Valentine.

No one can.

“You and mother lead us for a reason.” Alec demures. “You’re only looking out for the future of all nephilim. How could I disagree with the betterment of our people?”

Because he can’t. He can’t say no even though the word is dancing on his tongue.

“Well since that’s finished. Then I’ll leave you boys to chat, get to know each other as future family.” Valentine says and he claps his hands together before leaving.

Alec wants nothing more to exhale but there’s still another predator in the room and as shaken as he feels, Alec knows it is only going to get worse.

“I—“ he starts and then stops because he doesn’t know what to say. Just something that will convince Jonathon that Alec’s going to do his level best to never even touch or look at his sister.

“Oh Alec.” And Jonathon is laughing and it’s a charming and real sound, which makes it more distressing.

Jonathon is always the most dangerous when he’s being honest.

“I know, don’t worry—“ Jonathon promises and he’s getting up from where he’s been sitting across from Alec and walks around.

Alec swallows and forces himself to let go of his silverware, hands going to his lap.

Jonathon would know if he took the fork.

So he doesn’t, even though he wants to.

“It really is a pity that Robert ended up raising your siblings at his family home, I think you’d have been an amazing older brother.” And Jonathon is watching him with an interest that is normally reserved for his sister.

Alec swallows and turns, keeping his eyes on Jonathon.

“Oh.”

And Jonathon is smiling even softer now and Alec doesn’t even know what he’s doing wrong. “My father isn’t wrong, you know. It really is a pity our legacies aren’t already tied. Who knows, perhaps you could have been my brother.”

And Alec isn’t even going to try to touch that demon nest with an answer.

“Yeah.” Is all he tries to say and then because Jonathon continues to look at him eagerly he takes the risk and adds, “it would’ve been nice.” And then because Alec slips and he thinks of Izzy, the glimpse of her pudgy toddler face and the one picture he saw in Max’s dossier, he can’t help the soft smile of wistfulness that crosses his face.

And he doesn’t see the way Jonathon notices but he does notice when a hand is on his chin, forcing him to look up at the younger boy.

“My father has goals, Alec. But he doesn’t care how he gets them. He wants a Lightwood in the family and I agreed. He offered your sister for me, but I think you’ll fit into our family much better.” And Alec can’t breathe because Jonathon is too close and he’s being gentle.

Jonathon is never gentle unless it’s something he wants to break slowly.

“It’s amazing how you’ll never have to touch her, but you’ll have so many children. I wonder who they’ll look like the most, Clary, you, or me.”

“Clary doesn’t want kids. Especially not with me.” Alec tries because he knows how much Jonathon cherishes his sister.

How covetous of her he is.

“I know—“ and Jonathon pats his cheek tenderly. “But they’ll have you and they’ll have me. I’ll step up where Clary can’t, hmm? Keep it in the family.”

And Alec realizes as Jonathon’s thumb brushes the corner of his mouth that Valentine's heir isn’t just talking about helping raise his hypothetical nieces and nephews. He’s talking about having Alec, in the way Alec will never let Clary.

And Alec smiles and lowers his eyes in the way that prey is supposed to and internally, the small secret part of himself that he keeps tucked away unlocks.

—

Magnus finds him by chance.

He’s in Portugal chasing a lead on a poisonous ward array when an old woman taps his shins with her cane.

Magnus follows her into her shop and exits with a lighter pocket, the array sent to Ragnor and a piece of information burned into his mind.

Young. Lots of tattoos. Lives on the water. Smell off.

Magnus has the scent and for once, he is the hunter.

—

Alec swallows and tries very hard not to be disappointed in himself.

He’s learned a lot in the eight months that he’s managed to live as a mundane. And he knows he’s doing it poorly, but he’s still alive and he’s mostly free so he figured that was enough.

He was wrong.

So very wrong and as the warlock comes closer to him — the magic bringing him lighter but stronger than anything Alec’s tied up with before — Alec resigns himself to either a brutal death or being tortured for information.

And Alec finds that both options are still more preferable than being tangled with both of Valentine’s kids.

“Now what’s a shadowhunter doing here, living like a mundane and hiding on a boat.”

“Nephilim.” Alec corrects automatically and he winces, flushing when gold eyes narrow at him — and how can eyes be so beautiful.

“I—“ and Alec hesitates because he’s not sure if he’s about to get himself into more or less trouble. “I never became an official shadowhunter, not really.”

Because Alec has never officially left Idris and has never led a solo or team mission.

And Alec made sure he never would.

Because Valentine puts unblockable tracking runes on his shadowhunters but he doesn’t bother for his nephilim.

Why should he, when they can’t leave Idris alive.

“Is that even possible?”

Alec is asked and he realizes that he’s going to have to explain. Quickly, before his captor grows impatient.

—

Magnus watches as the young —so young but still not as young as so many murdered downworlder children — nephilim shrugs. He looks uncomfortable but not scared or disgusted.

“It’s not supposed to be.” The nephilim mutters and then he raises his hands, slowly, to rub his palms across his face. He smears blood across the edge of his cheek and even ten years ago Magnus would have been tempted to reach out and wipe it off.

But he knows better than to risk it.

“Tell me.”

Is all Magnus says and his captive responds to his order like it’s automatic.

“It doesn’t work on corpses or bodies near death.” Is blurted out and then the nephilim looks both tragically horrified and upset at his admittance.

“Oh? And what crime is so heinous that someone like Valentine would sentence a young, promising soldier to such a fate?”

And Magnus didn’t mean for a compliment to slip in there but, then nephilim is very easy to compliment.

“I did it to myself.” Is spit out and dark eyes are glaring at him mulishly, as if Magnus is going to judge a nephilim for wanting to escape Valentine so badly. “Valentine wouldn’t have wasted a still breathing body by letting it pass the wards.”

Magnus is delighted.

“Couldn't handle the megalomania? The torrid speeches? I know it wasn’t because of a love for the downworld.” Magnus hopes the nephilim isn’t stupid enough to try the last one. Magnus would burn his lying tongue in his mouth, no matter how pretty it is.

“Couldn’t handle marrying Valentine’s daughter—“ is confessed and there is a dark spark to Magnus’ nephilim. One that says he’s serious and Magnus finds it intriguing.

“I’m going to keep you for a bit.” Magnus says, casually pulling the nephilim closer with magic. “And then we’ll find out if you get to live, hmm?”

—

Alexander, or Alec as he introduced himself, sits like he’s afraid to take up room but afraid to look afraid. He gives Magnus all of his attention and tries hard not to look at anything else, like he’s not supposed to.

And he stays polite if not terse and he agrees to everything asked until Magnus summons a needle, because he requires blood. And then Alec is like a trembling statue, the kind you might see before an earthquake shatters it.

Magnus had thought the syringe would be easier, but it appears not.

“I need your blood.” He reminds his prisoner, losing his patience because he’s already being nicer than he should be as it is.

“Can’t you just use your magic?” Is blurted out and Magnus freezes, his fingers tightening in disbelief around the needle.

“You want me to use magic, would in fact prefer it to this?” Magnus asks and he raises a hand with the syringe and one with magic and Alexander flinches.

From the syringe and towards the magic.

“Anything is better than that.” Is spat out with true fear and vitriol and the second Magnus vanishes the syringe, Alec relaxes. He’s wary in a way that’s new and Magnus realizes that despite considering him a threat, this is the first time Alexander has shown actual fear of Magnus.

Magnus finds that shockingly, he doesn’t enjoy it.

Normally, he would revel in it.

He holds out his fingers, wreathed in angry red flames and Alexander offers his hand, not even flinching even though Magnus knows his magic burns when it’s this agitated.

“Thank you.”

Is whispered when Magnus is finished and leaving the room and Magnus pretends he’s hearing things.

He’s dehydrated, he reminds himself.

He needs a drink, he thinks as he summons a glass.

Half a bottle later Magnus finds himself watching Alexander stand at the balcony and marvel at the city below and he can finally admit it.

He wants Alexander.

Desperately.

Magnus lets himself wallow a full hour before he decides he really doesn’t care if Alexander is a nephilim.

Magnus has slept with his fair share of enemies. Has killed and had others try to kill him during sex and Alexander is hardly as bad as all that.

He is nephilim, but why shouldn’t Magnus gain something from this war. If the Council of Elders dislikes the trophy Magnus is going to take for himself, then they can fight without his power.

Magnus will take his people and his nephilim and keep them safe somewhere else.

He can even take them to another dimension and tie the wards to Alexander’s blood, ensuring no other nephilim can ever pass.

But while Magnus is willing to take a risk, he’s not willing to take a leap of faith and so he’s either going to keep Alexander or make sure he never sees him again unless it’s to kill him.

He walks to the balcony and startles for a moment, magic flaring before he realizes Alexander is the dark puddle curled up with a blanket on Magnus' sofa.

Magnus pretends he knew where Alexander was all along.

“So darling,” and the endearment slips out before he can help it and Alexander blinks up at him in wary surprise, but no protest.

“You have three choices before you. One, I can bind your nephilim blood, your Sight and your memories and throw you to the mundane world and let them deal with taking care of you. I can let you run back to your little boat with a geas on your tongue that will never let you speak of anything you learn and alert me if you encounter others with angel blood.”

Alexander is watching him with hope and desperation and Magnus wants to see what he looks like for the last offer.

“Or, you can be mine. Take all that loyalty that Valentine tried to beat and bribe into you and surrender it to me. Because unlike Valentine, I don’t break what belongs to me and I don't let it go.”

—

“Yes.” Alec says because he knows exactly which option he wants. He’s only made it to nineteen so far because he tried to live like a mundane and keep his head down but he doesn’t enjoy it.

It’s a better life than what he had, but it’s not the kind of life Alec wants. Not after the risks he took, not after he almost succeeded in killing himself just to have a better future.

And Alec doesn’t want to forget himself or how hard he fought to survive.

How for a time, he won.

And Magnus is… Alec can guess what Magnus is implying and he can be good, he’s been trained to be good, to obey.

But most of all, he wants to stay near Magnus. Who gives him options and doesn’t force Alec to do something because he is afraid of it.

“Yes—“ and Magnus trails off leadingly.

“Yes, sir.” He adds, because it doesn’t feel like torture to call Magnus that, even if the word still tastes wrong on his tongue.

And twin moons are blinking at him and then there is a dark, reassuring chuckle.

“I was asking what part of my offer the yes was to, but I suppose that answers that.”

And Magnus leans down and magic surges through Alec’s body and Magnus is kissing him.

Magnus tastes like how Alec imagines magic does.

Tingly and powerful and too wild to ever chain and Alec sobs brokenly into the kiss.

Because Magnus tastes like the future.

Alec’s future.

—

It’s been two weeks since Magnus claimed the spoils of a war he didn’t start but he’s certainly trying to finish.

He’s limited himself to a very few excursions with Alexander, mostly mundane and with a very firm hand on the small of Alexander's back.

And a tethering charm.

And several tracking amulets.

And an earring containing a shard of hellfire hidden under Alexander’s soft curls, in the cartilage of his left ear.

And it’s been going splendidly, until today. When Alexander pressed closer than usual and pressed his lips to Magnus' ear and mouths, “shadowhunters.”

And Magnus knows it’s a warning and not a threat but he pulls Alexander in even closer and loops magic around Alec’s waist to keep him near.

“Where?” He whisper-breathes back and Alec is nodding to the side when his gaze catches somewhere in the middle of the crowd of mundanes approaching them.

“Jonathon.” Alexander whispers and he is shocked and pale as he says it, horrified even. And Magnus concludes that this Jonathon is not someone he needs to worry about Alexander missing.

And then Alec is ducking around and behind Magnus, making himself as small as possible without forcing Magnus to turn his back.

“A friend?” Magnus asks, his magic only staying in place because Alexander came closer to him instead of closer to this, Jonathon.

“Valentine’s son.”

“Ah, your would-be-brother-in-law.” Magnus says with some disdain and eyeing the shadowhunter with more intense scrutiny. He wonders if he can manage to take out the boy without hurting the mundanes and exposing the shadowworld.

“He wanted a uh, little more than that.” Is muttered against his neck and Magnus’ magic swells and thrashes as anger bubbles in him.

“He’s really talented. The best of the best.” But Alexander doesn’t sound like it’s meant as a compliment, “and he really loves his sister.” There is a wealth of unspoken information there in the emphasis, “he implied that he suggested me as Clary’s future husband to his father. Mostly because he knew I wouldn’t fuck her. He promised he’d help me get her pregnant without me touching her and he was very uh, touchy himself.

“Oh?” Magnus asks, voice cool and even despite the stuttering of anger in his veins.

“He’d never touched me outside of sparring or lessons before that.” Alexander tucks his head closer to Magnus’ shoulder like it can hide him, “he basically said that Valentine doesn’t care which of his kids fucks me as long as he gets Lightwood genes out of it one way or another.”

“And his sister?”

“She stopped me when I was leaving and told me she was ‘glad I and Jonathon were getting along so well’.”

Magnus feels very much like the calm before an avalanche.

The slightest bit more pressure and everything will break but he still asks, keeping his voice soothing to not spook Alec.

“And did you consider it?” Magnus asks because he has always loved tempting fate and his own temper.

“Magnus, the night I ran I climbed the tallest tree I could find at the brink of the ward lines. I set myself up on the highest branch that held my weight and I stabbed myself in the heart with one of my own arrows. So that when I fell from blood loss and shock and pain, I’d still fall over the barrier.

“I had the arrow tied to the tree so it would come out and I activated a bunch of runes first. And when I woke up, I had to lay there in agony and alone and quiet at the boundary of Idris until my body decided if it was going to give up and die or struggle to continue. I ran that night and picked that method because Jonathon came to me that morning.

“He promised me that my wedding night would be a ‘memorable one’ and he called me his brother and told me he was looking forward to having a new sibling.”

Magnus blinks as he remembers what Alec had said earlier,“because Valentine wanted you to wrangle his daughter and didn’t care if his son fucked out as long as you also sired a lot of babies for his future armies.”

Alexander nods, miserable and exhausted as he closes his eyes and trusts Magnus to protect him.

“Then I’ll just have to keep you far away from him.” Which is a fortunate timing for their conclusion to reach, as Magnus knows his eyes have finally been spotted.

While he has a mundane-proof glamour on, Magnus never hides his warlock mark anymore.

Let them see him.

Let them fear him.

Let them attack him.

He will incinerate all that try.

However, Magnus is currently in a small mundane town and Magnus will not risk Alexander being snatched away from him.

“They’re coming.” He whispers, lips brushing Alexander’s ear and Magnus sees the exact moment Jonathon Morgernstern recognizes who is in his arms.

The vindictive glee of having found a warlock to hunt turns to shock and then feral rage.

“Alec!”

Is shouted across the court and only a few in the crowds of mundanes twitch, downworlders who can’t afford to be as open as Magnus is.

Alexander simply keeps his eyes closed and his cheek to Magnus’ chest.

“Give him back, warlock!” Jonathon is saying, blade drawn and Magnus can see shadowhunters gathering to his call.

“Who would I give him back to?” Magnus queries in mock confusion, “he already belongs to me.”

Valentine's heir spits at the ground and then gives a vicious curse before demanding, “Alec come here.“

And it’s an order and Alexander looks across, at the life and people he left behind and Magnus tightens his hold but Alexander leans back instead of forward.

“Why?” Alexander asks and his confusion is as beautiful as it is fake, “I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” And he tilts his face up, lips parting like petals beckoning for a taste of the sun and Magnus kisses him.

Magnus kisses him and lets his magic visibly dance on Alexander’s body for several dangerously blissful seconds.

And then there is the scream of an enraged animal who has had its prey stolen and Magnus laughs, throwing his head back as he opens a portal behind himself.

“He’ll never be yours, he’ll never be anyone’s but mine.” Magnus promises with a vicious, victorious smirk as he tips them back, letting space and magic absorb them and take them away, Alexander exactly where he belongs.

And later, in Magnus’ lair and behind his wards, Alexander will frown and say “I think maybe I should have said something else. What if he thinks you bewitched me? I’d rather be a traitor than have them trying to ‘save’ me.”

And Magnus will kiss him and hold him down with magic so that his hands can cup Alexander’s face.

“It wouldn’t have mattered, it doesn’t matter, I have you.” He will promise.

Because Magnus recognizes the look Jonathon gave Alec and it’s not one that will let Alexander go, not without a bloody fight.

Which is fine.

Magnus will enjoy making Valentine’s heir bleed.

[hyunnieshannie]

Ex

Chapter 1: 'Will you marry me?' Pairing: Han Jisung x Fem. Reader Word Count: 5,405 General Synopsis: Your ex? Shitty. Your family? Worse. Your best friend? Left for a tour in the middle of one of the worst times of your life. How are you meant to deal with planning what should have been your wedding, dealing with your family, and pretending like you're not falling apart all on your own? General Warnings: Idol!Jisung, mentions of other Idols (P1Harmony/Seventeen), all views on these idols are purely fictional. Idol AU. Mentions of cheating, mentions of smoking and drug use (weed and cigarettes), Mentions of drinking, angst, self esteem issues, depression. Y/N is older than Jisung. (I'm sorry for the jokes that come out of this) (any tags I missed please feel free to let me know! More tags to be added as the story goes on.) ⤵ A/N: Truthfully, two days ago I had a thought about a conversation that would be held between best friends, and at first I brushed it off but the next day it kept going. So I wrote it down thinking not much would come from it but as I started writing I couldn't stop and all of a sudden three chapters for this fic was written out. I tried to proof read it but I don't really have many people I'd have sent it to for a bit of help so bear with my writing. I sincerely hope you enjoy this. Welcome to "Ex" (im sorry for the cheesy amount of times i mention skz songs thaaaaanks)

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“Will you marry me?” The question was sudden, and you felt your heart clench as he knelt there on one knee clutching a beautiful rose gold ring with a large princess cut diamond placed delicately on the top. You looked at it, you looked at him; biting back the tears you desperately wanted to cry out. This was something you had dreamed of for years, and in any other circumstance you’d have been one of the happiest people in the world. But no. Not today. Today you felt nothing but the sadness and anger that boiled within you.

“Yes!” Your sister Leah exclaims, she was overwhelmed with happiness and though you thought you’d have moved on  from it all. It’d only been six months and part of you believed this was all too soon. He’d only left you seven months ago. Left you for someone you considered the closest person to you, your best friend at that. At first during the breakup, as he explained why he was leaving, you were hurt and angry; you shut everyone out, blocking your sister, your absolute best friend out of your life completely, but after that initial pain passed and many nagging texts from your family; you realized you could not control who people fall in love with. He started dating her a month after and now six months later he knelt there asking her the question you once thought he would be asking you. You had waited five years to hear that question leave his lips, but it never came. Instead it came seven months after your breakup to your sister that he’d only been with for half a year. You walked out of the dinner after that. Congratulating them with a fake smile, swallowing the thick lump in your throat as you choked out a simple ‘I’m happy for you two’ as they stood beaming at each other, before being dragged away by the rest of their guests. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“You’re smoking again,” your roommate Keeho sighs, his blue hair blowing softly in the wind as he wrapped his arms around himself to shield his body from the cold of the midnight air. He slowly made his way to you as you leaned against the railing staring off into the forest that lined your backyard. “What happened tonight?” He asks softly as he leans forwards against the railing joining you in the act of blankly staring out. Lifting the cigarette to your mouth and holding it between your teeth, inhaling slowly, holding the smoke in as it burns the back of your throat; before exhaling it all from your lungs slowly. 

“He proposed.” You mumble, Keeho’s head drops, shaking it lightly. 

“And then?” 

“And then I said congratulations, and left.” you sigh. Keeho wasn’t usually one for talking about the dramas of life. Typically he’d move on with a smile, or a joke. But tonight it seems he wanted nothing more than to hear your true thoughts about the situation, 

“A little soon is it not?” He asks, as he runs his hand through his hair standing straight and turning his attention from the forest to you. “You okay?” 

“I shouldn’t have gone,” 

“No, Y/N you went because your family asked you. If they knew it was going to happen they should have warned you!” he says, 

“When have they ever cared about how I felt? The only reason I started talking to them again is because my own family told me I was being selfish.” you mutter, Keeho stares blankly at you. He didn’t know they’d forced you back into their lives, how could he when all you’d told him was ‘no one controls who they love, I shouldn't hold it against them.’ 

“Jeonghan’s a fucking dick anyways, I never liked him.” Keeho says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “He was a little prick, and he hurt my best friend.” he hugs you tightly, 

“Ke-” 

“Don’t ‘Keeho’ me. You know I'm right.”  he sighs, 

“In that case, Stephen Yoon, do not say those kinds of things, he wasn’t all bad and you know it too.” 

“Woah woah woah there buddy there's no need to be sassy and, government name me!” He laughs. Even though he hadn’t said much, Keeho always seemed to make you happy when you were upset simply by being present. He never failed to make you laugh, and despite not being much said he still managed to make you feel just a bit better about the whole situation. You let out a small sigh as the cigarette burns the tip of your fingers, its embers slowly reaching its filter as you watch it slowly burn out. “I know,” Keeho whispers, “I know.” 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

As you lay in bed you stare up at the ceiling, thinking of memories you hope that one day will be forgotten and fade along with the rest. You wondered if Jeonghan had always felt this way towards your sister, and wondered just how long he’d been in love with her. Had they secretly gotten together while you were still with him? Had they spoken of their love for one another behind your back? You’d never asked, and simply accepted the fact he no longer loved you, and continued about your life. Your brain tries to process each thought carefully, but your heart can’t help but ache as you remember the good times with him. The times he’d taken you to fancy dinners, or the aquarium dates you loved so much. How he’d wake up in the morning with a smile on his face and kiss you softly. You missed him, but now there was nothing you could do but force a smile and say that you were okay, that everything was fine. You knew in a matter of days someone would message you, someone would reach out. But not to check on you, but rather to ask about wedding details. Details you wanted nothing to do with but, she’s your sister. And thus it is your responsibility to suck it up and help her plan if that’s what she wanted. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The night came and went. And you slept awfully. Too many thoughts wracked your brain to be able to sleep calmly at all. You spent the night twisting and turning in bed as terrible dreams haunted you. You wouldn’t go as far as to call them nightmares but, you definitely did not enjoy them. “Y/N/N!” Keeho calls from the living room, “Y/N/N wake up!” he yells again. You groan as you force yourself out of bed, wandering out into the hallway as you rub your eyes to clear the morning haze.

“What Keeho, I’m busy!” You groan, finally walking into the living room. Keeho laughs loudly as you enter the room, his speaker loud playing music as he prances around the room holding a bowl of strawberries. 

“Busy? What moping in bed? Not on my watch babe,” he laughs, “We have plans!” 

“Plans?” 

“Yes, we’re going out, I’m not letting you get all sad again, not this time!” He smiles, you know he’s just trying to make you feel better. After the break up you had moved out of Jeonghan and your shared apartment, and Keeho took you in. Keeho’s old roommate had moved out and he was in need of another, luckily you were available. So he helped you pack up and move in. But directly after you moved in you fell into a depression. Being in a relationship for five years, moving in with him and living together for three years just for all of it to come crashing down harshly around you throwing you into a violent depression. You didn’t leave your room for weeks. Keeho, having been one of your best friends for years, did what he could to cheer you up but unfortunately, nothing seemed to help. So he did what was best and gave you time, while simultaneously reminding you that you had a support system. Him and his group. After about two weeks of sulking you began to feel better, not completely yourself again but good enough to leave your room. The second Keeho saw you his instinct was to hug you, bringing you into his warm embrace, before laughing and telling you that you were in desperate need of a makeover. And so he did everything he could to continue giving you distractions from the unfortunate events that had transpired.

 He took you shopping, to get your makeup done, he did everything in his power to make sure you felt beautiful, cared for, loved and most importantly; distracted. This time was different, he wasn’t giving you time to wallow in the depression that was your sister marrying the man you thought was your soulmate. In Keeho’s head it was best to start distracting you before you became depressed, because nothing broke his heart more than seeing his best friend sad, and nothing made him angrier than the thought of not being able to tell how shit of a boyfriend Jeonghan really was before everything happened. But it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know Jeonghan would hurt you so badly, and when it came forward of what he had done, and why. Keeho found no issue with dropping his friend. They weren’t the closest of friends anyways, and you were much more important than (in his opinion) some dick head who couldn’t see the rarity that was you. “Go on you gremlin, get changed!” he huffed. 

Reluctantly you spun on your heels, and marched back into your room. Quickly picking out a comfortable outfit, and loosely tying your hair up without a real care for your current appearance, unfortunately for you when you opened the door Keeho stood there with his arms crossed, and a disapproving look. 

“I knew you’d do this, for god's sake Y/N do I need to do everything myself?” he frowns as he pushes past you entering your room. “JESUS, Could you be any more of a hermit?” he laughs as he draws the blinds letting the light from the late morning sun seep into the room. He opens the closet door, and rummages for a few moments before pulling out a black hoodie, and a pair of black skinny jeans, “If you want to be comfortable thats fine but whatever the fuck you’re wearing right now, aint it babe.” You stare blankly at him, before he wanders his way into your bathroom; pulling at a few accessories and placing them down on your night stand. An indication that he’d like you to wear them with the outfit he’d picked out. He dives back into the closet searching through your shoes before settling on a nice pair of black combat boots. He stands back and admires the outfit he’d chosen. “Oh,” he mutters. “That black leather jacket, bring that too it’s gonna get colder today,” you roll your eyes at the ever excited Keeho, who skips out of your room and back into the living room to wait for you to finish. 

Once more you change, dreading the idea of going out, much less now knowing the temperatures would drop to a shocking negative ten degrees celsius.  

ꕀ❀ꕀ

You step outside, and quickly pull out a smoke as Keeho locks the door. Typically he’d have said something along the lines of ‘you’re going to stink up my car’ or complained how unhealthy it was of a habit, but he let it slide for now. A part of you felt guilty smoking in front of him, he’d worked for months helping you slowly stop. He dealt with the withdrawals, anxiety, anger, and everything that came with it. He didn’t mind the idea of helping you through it again, though it did bother him a bit knowing you’d done so well for the past six months, but he did understand why. You never had the best coping mechanisms, most if not all violently destructive. But no one knew you better than him, which made him (in his mind) the most suitable to help you through hard times.

 He patiently waited for you to finish your smoke before guiding you to the car, and opening the door for you. He was being unnecessarily kind today, and your gut told you something was up. “What did you do?” you say flatly, as he finally starts the car. The heating blasted through as he turned it to its max power. 

“Why do you assume I did something?” he scoffs, bringing the parking break down and allowing the car to gently roll down the hill of your driveway. You studied his expressions, nothing seemed wrong; and he certainly had no tell if he was going to do something wrong, but either way your brain persisted. “Anyways we’re almost late and it’s still about an hour drive.” 

“Where are we going?” 

“The city.” 

“Why would we go into the city Stephen?” 

“You need to stop calling me that,” he groans. 

“Well you were Stephen to me back home before you left.” you pout, 

“Does this look like Toronto to you bestie? No.” He focuses his attention on the road as he speaks, his phone connected to the speakers blasting loud music from his group as he drives, occasionally interrupted by the sound of the thick Australian accent he set for his navigation. Occasionally you’d mimic the woman as she told him where to go, and he’d laugh telling you how he would make you record all the sayings so he could set a ‘Custom Y/N Navigation Voice’ for his maps. You laughed at the idea, and once again your mind felt at ease. No one but he could make you feel so calm. 

“I kinda want to go home,” you sigh, his head snaps towards you staring at you with wide eyes, 

“Like, to visit right?” you shook your head, “Wait, you wanna go back to Toronto for good?” he asked, focusing on the road once more. 

“Perhaps. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, But-” 

“But your sister moved here chasing you, is marrying the guy you dated, and your entire family flew here knowing what would happen and then made you witness it.” he sighs, “Yeah I know. But Y/N what does Canada have to offer you?” you look at him confused, freedom from being trapped seeing those two all the time was a start. “Listen Y/N, I love you; and I was happy he dragged you out here, but I’m happier you stayed even after to live with me because I love you, and I’m not gonna let you go back to waste your life away in Toronto just because of some guy, hell! You’re in your twenties, have some fun!” 

“Ste-”

“Wrong name.” 

“Kee.”

“Wrong Nickname.” 

“Well what do you want me to say!” 

“I’m offended.” he laughs, trying to brighten the mood. 

“I’m not saying it.” 

“Oh please won’t you say my favorite nickname?” 

“Only if you stop playing your music and let me play mine.” 

“Are you saying you don’t like my singing?” 

“I’m saying as your hostage you should let me at least enjoy my own music, and I like Taeyang’s voice better thank you very much.” “Ouch baby, very ouch” he laughs loudly as he hands you his phone,  you unlock it quickly and scroll through spotify before opting in to typing in what you were looking for, 

“Play that NCT song you like so much,” 

“Acting like it wasn’t you who screamed it so loudly your voice was lost for a day, I swear Taeyang was gonna kill me.” “I’m their leader, they listen to me” he says jokingly,  “and you realize you can just call him Theo,” he laughs. 

“He introduced himself to me as Taeyang, therefore I shall call him as such.” 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The two of you continue to listen to the music you play, a variety spanning from your favorite third and fourth gen groups, to pop punk, and a few anime intros. Your music taste was a mess but the two of you sang loudly to each song. It was about half hour into the ride before Keeho had gotten off the highway, pulling into a nice neighborhood and parking the car. He cleared the back seat of his car completely, throwing whatever unnecessary things he had into the trunk. You went to turn the music down as Keeho plopped himself back into the driver's seat looking at you as if you were about to commit some heinous crime. “What?” you ask, 

“How dare you turn the music down!” he giggles, turning it up even more, the vibrations of the base passed through your body with a low hum. “What are we doing here Kee.” 

“Waiting.” he smiled, 

“For?” 

“Taeyang, and Intak and a member from-” he paused as the song swapped and began to play the familiar tune of one of the groups you had liked for a while, a song you couldn’t help but give your absolute best performance to. “Stray Kids” Keeho laughed, “Fitting!” you unhooked your seatbelt knowing that both Taeyang and Intak fully know the extent of your love for this song, your mind completely erasing the fact that you would be introduced to someone from another group.

In your time being in Korea, you had only cared for Keeho’s own group members, you often sat out on whatever party he’d invite you to. He had left for Korea much earlier than you, and the only reason you had even met Jeonghan was accidentally online on some dating site when you were roughly nineteen, during a vacation while you visited Keeho. Safe to say your teenage brain was too madly in love with the stranger from across the world to think about the long term repercussions. 

You never cared for the life of idols, but you did enjoy the music. So it worked out, the boys of Keeho’s group could be comfortable near you knowing you’d do nothing to hurt Keeho or them, and you got to see the insides of their world of music making, which benefited you as a music major in college. You only cared for them on a personal level.

Enjoying other groups' music was one thing, but you didn’t need to see them live, or meet them. From Keeho’s complaints the life of an idol was hard enough, it’s hard for them to trust people as a whole and you being you didn’t want anyone of his friends being uncomfortable with your presence. Keeho did often offer to take you to concerts, which you refused each time because all you needed was your favorite group of boys. Them.

You were mid-performance, of Cheese making faces at Keeho as you asked him the questions sung throughout the song, he laughed as you lowered your voice mimicking Felix’s tone to the best of your ability as you sang proudly, “why’d you gotta say it like that?”. 

You loved the song, something about a group reacting to hate by creating a diss-track that involved every element as to why they were getting hate; now THAT was iconic to you. The back door flew open as you prepared yourself for your favorite part, now why it was your favorite part you couldn’t tell but you definitely liked mimicking that one part of Han Jisung’s rap. 

You turn to face Intak who laughed as he scooted into the back seat, you looked him in the eyes as you sang out loud “hyeosbadag shotgun jangjeon, click-clack, bang!” he laughed hard as you turned back to face Keeho, using your phone as a makeshift microphone. 

He had his head on his steering wheel as he laughed so hard you could see the red in his face, he’d never laughed like this both of them knowing how you get whenever one of your top five performance songs comes on. Taeyang finally gets in the car and as the second closest person to you, he should already know what to do, but instead of singing; he sits the with a wide grin, concealing a laugh, 

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” Taeyang laughs, you stop your performance and lean over your chair staring at the two boys in the back seat, as Keeho struggles to breathe from laughing too hard in the front seat, 

“Tell me what?” you say looking between the three, then it hits. Taeyang and Intak are squished together, as the seat behind Keeho lays empty. “Oh, is the other friend weird about me being here?” you ask, 

“Not at all, but if you’re going to do my rap I need more energy from you.” Han fucking Jisung. Oh great I just belted his fucking groups song in front of him, and looked like a total moron. 

“What the fuck is he doing here,” you said in a panic, “OH SHIT- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that outloud- I- I’ve just never- Wait, I-”

“Calm down Y/N/N!” Taeyang says, as he reaches forward placing his hand on your own “Breathe,” he smiles sweetly at you. Telling you with his eyes that everything is fine. 

“It’s fine honestly,” Jisung smiles widely, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Jisung.” 

You turn back in your seat as the song finishes, concealing the utter embarrassment of having Jisung hear your performance to his own song. Keeho smiles at you as he starts the car back up fully, 

“Surprise?” he says with a mischievous smile, you hit him lightly on the arm which causes him to fly back dramatically, pretending as if you’d punched him at full force. “Y/N! How could you punch your best friend!” he cries out, 

“Keeho sleeping in the dog house tonight,” Intak chirps, 

“Keeho clearly Y/N/N likes me better give it up, you’re not her best friend anymore!” Taeyang laughs as he watches Keeho flail his arms, 

“AND NOW YOU’VE REPLACED ME WITH MY GROUP MEMBER? THE BETRAYAL!” He laughs, 

“Jesus Keeho you’re just as bad as Hyunjin with the dramatics!” Jisung grins at Keeho who slowly turns back in his seat to stare at him, 

“I…. Am…. Not!” Keeho  mutters, as he throws his empty water bottle at him. The two toss it at each other in a laughing fit for a moment, before Intak finally cuts in

“Anyways, what took you guys so long?” Intak laughs as he watches Jisung fumble with the bottle. Keeho turns back around and sets in the new destination handing you back the phone to continue with your music, 

“As Y/N’s personal stylist, I had to make sure she wasn’t gonna come in those god awful sweats she had on earlier,” 

“HEY! What’s wrong with my sweats!” you let out, 

“Nothing, when we’re at home! But you were really gonna show up looking homeless to an outing with Taeyang and Intak? Please. Not on my watch!” Keeho says smugly, “She looked like her little gremlin self, you guys should have seen it. I had to force the blinds open today!” you pout as you look at him, music blaring as he drives and the three in the back laughing. 

“Y/N/N is no gremlin you fool! Even in sweats I’m sure she’s still prettier than you,” Taeyang giggles, “This is why she likes me more,” Keeho eyes him in the rearview mirror, whispering a small ‘suck my dick you heathen,’ as Taeyang bursts into another laughing fit. Because whenever you’re with these three boys, the laughter never ends. Usually.

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The boys spend time talking as you stare out the window, enjoying the view of the river through the drive. Your phone buzzes, pulling it out of your pocket; you read the message. 

‘I want you to be my maid of honor,’ the message read. You’d expect this. You’d expected for your family to message you about the wedding. Just not so soon, not literally the day after your world collapsed. 

“Y/N?” Taeyang says in a loud whisper, you’d been in the front seat staring down at the message for a rough ten minutes, as your second favorite ‘performance’ song played throughout the car, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” you squeak, jumping up from the realization that you had just completely zoned out. A lump in your throat building up into an unbearable ball which you had to choke down to save yourself from further embarrassment, especially from the new person you’d only just met. 

“No you’re not.” Intak says as he reaches his hand over, placing it on your shoulder, “I know you’re not.” Keeho keeps his eyes glued on the road, unaware of the message you’d just received. “Y/N, talk to us.” 

“I’m perfectly content!” you whisper, 

“You’re not singing. This is one of your songs. You never miss a chance to sing Slump. Not once in the entire time I’ve known you, never ever have you not sung to an anime OST.” Taeyang leans forward bringing himself between the two front seats, “And I know you’re not holding back because of Jisung.” Jisung sat in the back quietly letting the rest of you speak. The air in the car filled with an insufferable tension which you wished would dissipate. 

“I have a wedding to plan.” you sigh, bringing your phone up and handing it to him. Taeyang takes it leaning back, allowing Intak to read it thoroughly. 

“He fucking proposed?” Intak says aloud, you hum in response. “When?” 

“At dinner last night with my family.” 

“HE DID IT IN FRONT OF YOU?” 

“That fucking prick.” Taeyang whispers, “I’ll fucking ki-”

“No. It’s okay,” you choke, tears are threatening your very existence, plotting to drown you in your spot. “Can’t control who people fall in love with, she’s a good match for him.”

“Good match my ass, she’s petty and not even half as interesting as you are!” Taeyang’s voice only gets louder as he gets angrier, 

“Guys,” Keeho sighs, he’d wanted to distract you from this situation yet somehow, and in someway the universe had decided fuck that and threw this untimely obstical in his way, “Let’s just drop it for today okay?” 

“It’s not my place,” Jisung says softly, as he twiddles his thumbs. “And I don’t know what happened and I have very little context, but I think it’s bold of you to be so mature about it.” 

“Thanks.” you mumble turning back around in your seat, because of course this kind of thing would happen on the day Keeho introduces you to someone new. The rest of the car ride was a blur, your mind was much too occupied with finding ways to politely decline the offer, while also reminding you that she was your sister, and it your duty to be there for her.

 You’d always been there for your sister, the two of you since children had been inseparable until you moved to Korea three years ago. You’d been there for her during her heartbreaks, you’d been there when she didn’t get into the college she wanted. You’d been there through her pregnancy scares, and shitty friends, and you’d been there for every good time as well. When she had heard you’d be moving to Korea, dropping your entire life in Canada for your boyfriend she was devastated. She’d thrown tantrums left and right during his visit to introduce himself to your parents, and after you’d left she saved up for two years to move here to ‘Be with you’ because she ‘couldn’t be without her best friend’, more like without my boyfriend. Soon enough you’d realized the pair had gotten close, and you had convinced yourself he was being friendly because your little sister had no one other than you in Korea. She had no knowledge of the language, or area and often spent time in your apartment even after she’d found her own three months after moving. Had it been then when he fell for her? While she lived with you? Once more the intrusive thoughts begin to whirl around in your brain, leaving nothing but the destruction of your mental state in its wake. You never wanted to know if he’d cheated, but the signs were all there. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“Kee,” you whisper as the other three boys walk in front of you into the restaurant, “I don’t want to be with someone new today. Do you mind if I take off?” 

“Jisung is nice Y/N”

“How do you even know him?” 

“You meet a lot of people in this industry, he’s not gonna bite.” 

“I’d rather go home.” Keeho stops and turns to you, looking into your eyes as he holds your shoulders, 

“Babe. I can’t let you go home, first the cab would cost a fortune, not that I have an issue with it. But what I do have an issue with is you going home alone, to cry in your room. I’m sorry, I know you’re hurting, but I can’t leave you to your own thoughts. I can’t see you hurting again, so please let me distract you today; and if you still need time alone after I’ll give it to you, but today let's ignore the rest of the world, fuck your sister, fuck your family, and fuck his stupid ass. Let's laugh, and have a nice lunch with our friends,” he pleads, “plus Ji.” reluctantly you agree, he’s planned this outing for you because he knew exactly what you’d need to keep you from wallowing in the darkness of your room. He didn’t expect the small bump in the road, but he was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure you went over it smoothly. He guided you into the restaurant, it was cute. More like a cafe than anything. It was nice, large windows covered the front wall allowing it to be lit mostly by natural light, it had soft music playing and plants everywhere. It seemed like a fitting place to read, or draw; or have a nice lunch with friends. The perfect place for you. For sure Keeho had thought of that when planning the outing, and you appreciated the effort he’d put into it. 

As you make your way to the table Taeyang waves you over smiling to you as he pulls the seat beside his out, “You saved a seat for queen gremlin, and left me to sit between Intak and Jisung?” Keeho pouts, “Two betrayals in one day,” 

“Well Y/N/N shouldn’t be put between two people, she deserves her own spot and you do not!” 

“Why!” 

“Until you stop calling Y/N a gremlin I will not be giving you any special treatment!” 

“You should respect your elders,” Keeho huffs, 

“And so should you now beg, tell her Y/N noona please forgive me for my rudeness!” Taeyang laughs, 

“Noona?” Jisung asks, staring up at you as you take your seat beside Taeyang, 

“Oh no, don’t get all excited Ji!” Intak squeals, as he holds his laughter in. His cheeks puffing up before he slams his head down onto his arm that lay on the table, tears coming down his face as he laughs, 

“I was eighteen let it go,” Jisung sighs, 

“How could I when you started the song off with jeogyo-”

“Please, don’t say it.” Jisung says, lowering his head onto the table, his ears red from the embarrassment, his body cringes as he remembers the lyrics. 

“Yeah, Y/N is older than all of us, but like hell am I calling her noona or unnie.” Keeho says with a smile. The conversation dies down, and a new one picks up. Everyone talking about different things together, as you waited for your food to arrive. Suddenly Taeyang wraps his arm around your shoulder, leaning forward to block your view to the outside, raising his hand slightly to get the waitresses attention, 

“Would you mind if I lowered the blind here? It's a bit bright.” he says nonchalantly, the waitress smiles and lowers the blind completely. Once its down he removes his arm, and leans back in his seat, “Sorry there was an unpleasant sight outside,”

“What was it?” Intak questions as he pulls at the blind, Taeyang kicks him lightly under the table “Oh,” Intak says, “Mm yes that dog is having a great time, what a conversation killer.” Intak you idiot. Taeyang thinks to himself.

[sinhal]

Kilowog, Hal, and a tale of two fights

The planning stage was easier. It was easier thinking about Hal fake betraying them than seeing him stand before him, no ring on his left hand, the most dangerous weapon in the universe on his right. No alarms sounded when Hal took the gauntlet-why would they? The corps leader should have access. He shouldn’t betray them.

This was the plan though. This was the plan. It is necessary to save the corps. He has to believe that. He has to, or otherwise he’s fighting his closest friend for nothing. 

Hal smirks with the gauntlet wrapped around his hand. He plants his feet, puffs out his chest, and puts his hands on his hips. He laughs, a wild, dangerous thing that no one had heard in a long time. “Stand down, Kilowog, and we avoid all this. Just go back to bed, act shocked tomorrow, and no one will know.”

“Do you really think I would just stand down? My loyalty is to the corps. Always.”

(In a memory, he says such similar words, in such a similar fight. But that one was real, and this one is fake. Yet, yet).

“You can’t beat me, Kilowog, you see how I’m armed.” A gauntlet with the power of twelve rings or twelve individual rings. What truly is the difference? It reminds him of what happened so many years ago all the same. 

“Leave the gauntlet alone and we don’t have to test that theory.”

“That’s not going to happen. I’ve come too far. I’m doing this for them. It has to happen this way. It has to.”

“Fight for it then.” He puts his fists up, ready to fight. He has to lose, not even sure if he could actually win, but he still needs to fight. Fight against his best friend once again for the survival of the Green Lantern corps. 

Hal wins, just like they planned. Kilowog coughs out a few breaths as his eyes flutter shut. Hal walks over him, cape fluttering in the wind. He hears him whisper, “I’ve crossed the line, Kilowog, and I can’t come back.” As he welcomes the overwhelming blackness, he thinks he sees a shot of gray in Hal’s hair. It’s just a trick of the light. It has to be. His constructs flicker just for a second anyway.

[dearweirdme]

Some great messages and responses today about so many topics! And some goofy ones as well 😂 Still trying to wrap my head around the anon who thinks that Taekook (a pairing of two people, Tae and Jungkook) is a "persona" (the aspects of a single person's character that are outward/perceived by others). How exactly would that work? Are they so dedicated to it that they work around the limitations the company has put on them (one V Live since 2016 that had just the two of them in it but there were obviously chaperones in the room) by spending their free time together for a whole year of solo era just to keep up this "persona". The bowling, musical outings, skiing trips, working on songs, playing games, cooking/eating at each other's places, Tae's closest social circle including friends from high school becoming good friends of Jungkook and supporting him publicly like they've really gone all out for this "persona". And those are just the things we know about. I don't think they talked about the musical, skiing, or bowling outings. A fan got pics of them at the musical. A lot of it we don't know about, or we'll find out much later. So since the pair as a persona makes no sense, I think what anon was implying is that the "persona" Tae is putting on here is his care and affection for Jungkook. Which also makes no sense given what I just went over, and the additional fact that this is all from their "off" time when if they wanted to act this out they could do this in an official capacity for company content. But they haven't. For years. Their very close bond is most evident in their *private/non-work life*. And they are the only pair in the group that has demonstrated this level of closeness in solo era. This is not a drag on the others, they all love each other. But this is a simple fact. Even "anti-shippers" are coming around to defend Taekook's bond now because even they see how at odds this was with the "official" content and that Taekook are close even when the group goes its separate ways. Also, someone made a great point in the comments earlier. I am not a company stan, large corporations are evil there's no such thing as an ethical billionaire etc. Some of the company's screw-ups come from intentional malice, them attaching BTS to the credits of Seven was literal sabotage in that it was an attempt to keep Jungkook from charting higher than the group. That shows me that they will take actions that hurt their individual artists. I do think there is a pattern of Tae getting the worst of it, and I honestly do not know why. But someone commented earlier that some of the neglect and some of the mistakes they make are facilitated by the guarantee that the fandom will keep throwing money their way. They have no real incentive to change. At least with the credits situation not only did the fandom get loud, but articles started popping up in Kmedia. I wish the fandom could show a united front against the company's mistreatment, against sabotage, against Billboard but it was impossible to get a boycott (something they might actually pay attention to) going before solo era, now everything is so fractured and there is so much infighting...the situation in the fandom is pretty bad. I'll even admit I'm JK-biased and with all of the weirdness I saw starting with Seven and how resentment of him and his talent/success became even clearer I've stopped paying attention to anything but Taekook's solo careers for now. No negative feelings for the others, that's just all I have energy for at the moment.

Hi anon!

There is absolutely nothing to think anything about Tae and Jk’s bond is fake. There’s a chance we are wrong in how we interpret it, but there’s no chance that they aren’t very close and arguably the closest out of all members. Tae and Jk are very consistent in showing that closeness.

Yeah, I very much hate the powerplay. No matter how big an artist or a band gets, companies most of the time still hold the power. Fandom is hard as well, I agree.

[whatisreggieshortfor]

Studying With my Girlfriend

When his roommate won’t leave him alone about it, Gary tells him he has a girlfriend. But when he claims it’s the quiet smart girl in his class, will he be able to keep from falling when he finds out she’s not what she seems?

Gary x MC

For @csmicletters

Part two

Regina had no idea who this boy was or why he had thrown his arm around her and called her his girlfriend, but the pitying part of her brain convinced her to play along for the time being.

Well that’s not entirely true.

She knew the Who. By name, if nothing else. Gary was in one of the engineering classes she took for her minor. His equations left a lot to be desired, but when it came to hands on work, he was top of the class, just ahead of her.

She knew he was on the football team, he played goalie because, again, he was better hands on than using his head.

That was the extent of what she knew about him. They had never spoken before, unless maybe he was one of the people that asked to borrow a pen and she passed it off without looking up from her own notebook.

But the Why of this situation was anyone’s fucking guess.

She was just trying to study for an exam in her astrophysics class the next day. The library was supposed to be good for that. She took a table away from the popular area, spread her stuff enough that no one would try to sit directly next to her, but could join her table if it got busy.

She should have been left relatively alone.

Until Gary, in all his blond and bulky muscled glory, dropped into the seat next to her, arm draped around her shoulders, and said, “Sorry mate, I’m studyin’ with my girlfriend here.”

Regina glanced between the two, meeting the eye of a curly haired brunette boy that looked like he belonged at Woodstock, before chiming in, “I must’ve forgot you were meeting me. Let me move some things.” She shifted the books in front of Gary out of the way, and could see his surprise that she’d played along before he laughed a little too forcefully.

“Naw, babe. I’m helping you study. How am I supposed to do that when you take your books away?” He picked the closest one up, brow furrowing heavily at the title- Astrophysics, Space Anomalies, and Their Mathematic Counterparts.

The brown haired boy cleared his throat, holding out his fist for her to bump, “Sorry about the intrusion, mate. Name’s Rocco, I’m Gary’s roommate- well, I was.”

She knocked her knuckles against his, pen clenched in her hand, “Cool, I guess. Is there a reason you’re joining us?”

She wasn’t usually this standoffish. But this exam was worth twenty five percent of her grade, and honestly she just wanted to study.

“Oh, uh, n-no, not particularly. Just catching up with him, but he was in a rush to meet you. His girlfriend.” Regina narrowed her eyes as she frowned, not liking the way his friend was clearly assuming he was lying. I mean, she knew he was, but his friend shouldn’t be assuming that.

“Well, you’ve met me now. I’m a real person. So, either pull up a chair and help quiz me, or pop out because this is a very important exam.” Gary’s eyes widened a bit at the bite in her tone. But before he could say anything, she turned to him, “Is this the one you told me about? Or was that a different arsehole you had to room with?”

Gary had never told her anything, but he didn’t miss a beat, “Babe, that was Jakub. I roomed with him at a team event and he kept me half the night re-ironing his socks.” She nodded, a fake look of remembrance on her face, as if recalling a memory. Damn, he didn’t know she could act like this.

Rocco awkwardly nodded his head, wishing her luck before scurrying away. Gary stayed in his seat, though he sagged in relief. She raised an eyebrow at him, “So. How long have we been dating?” Just like the tension was back. She snorted, “Relax. I didn’t sell you out then, I won’t sell you out now. But I’d like an explanation. Maybe the backstory here.”

Apparently, at the end of last semester, Gary’s girlfriend from back home had dumped him. Something about having a glow up and she realized he wasn’t the Prince Charming she had thought he was. Rocco had tried to help, set him on a blind date with a girl, but now she was looking to curse him, literally, because he’d never called her back. He’d told Rocco he met someone else when the new semester started, before said boy dropped out and started living out of a food truck he’d dumped the rest of his college money into and parked on campus, but since he wouldn’t take his word for it after a couple weeks, Gary approached the first girl he recognized. It just so happened to be the one he stared at in his engineering class, not that he told her that part. But he did tell her that he told Rocco instead of the girl directly because Rocco was a huge gossip and it would be more believable if the news didn’t come from the guy that was clearly avoiding her.

“Honestly, I thought you were gonna punch me as soon as I touched you.” Gary admitted when the story ended, “You’re rather scary in class.”

“Good.” She nodded once. “So how long have we been together? Since break or since the semester started?”

Gary blinked, confusion on his face, “You’d be willing to keep up the act?”

Regina shrugged, “My best friend says I need to stop spending all my time studying, and that other things than school matter, yada yada yada. I just want to get my degree and move as far from Chatham as I can, but I guess helping you wouldn’t hurt too much. But you’re not prepared for what you’ll hear about me.”

“You’re from Chatham?”

She raised her eyebrow, “Yes. Can’t you see I’m oozing hometown spirit over here?” She gestured to her attire, mostly black and grey, and Gary snorted with a grin.

“I’m from Chatham. Guess we could say we ran into each other over break and hit it off.”

“Bang on. So roughly three months together? Geez, take me on a date once in a while.” Gary rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t hide the mirth in them. She was a lot funnier than he’d imagined. “What’s the level of PDA I should be expecting with his exactly? Cause I can deal with hand holding and touching, but I am not about to make out in front of people.”

“That’s fine! I don’t you to be uncomfortable. I still can’t believe you’re willing to do this.”

“Okay,” She started to reach for the book he was still holding, “I really do need to study now. This exam is huge.”

Gary hugged the book to his chest. “Hey now! I’m here to help you study, remember?” He held the book out, but in a tight grip so she couldn’t try to take it. “Get me to whatever chapters you need quizzed on.”

Regina had expected him to be a huge distraction- and he was. He kept making her laugh by mispronouncing words on purpose so that she had to correct him- proving she knew exactly what he was quizzing her on. But he also took it seriously enough that she felt confident in her knowledge by the end of it.

When it was over, he took her bag and the books that didn’t fit inside.

“I can carry my own things, you know?”

Gary shrugged, “Can and should are different things.”

Regina grimaced, “One of my housemates has that sewn on a throw pillow.” He chuckled. “So. Where exactly are you taking my things?”

He shrugged again, “Your car or your dorm or whatever. I’m walking you.”

She tilted her head, “Am I a dog? You need to take me for a walk?”

“Yes.” He deadpanned, “I am merely walking you because otherwise you’ll get bored and chew on the furniture.”

She laughed, almost too loudly for the library, and god, her laugh was hideous. But Gary wanted to hear it more. “Alrighty then, boss man. I guess you can walk me back. But it’ll shock you and you’ll hate it, completely ruining whatever image you have of me in your head, so don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

On the walk, they told each other information someone would learn when they’d been dating someone for a while. She learned his favorite color- blue. He was raised by his nan- who she’d actually met at the community center back home a few times. He was only in university because it was what his nan wanted- he’d have been happy doing construction like his uncles had. She told him about dreaming of space all her life- wanting to help the world by assisting in its exploration. Told him about being raised by a single mother with the help of her best friend, Regina’s best friend’s mom, and he’d actually met them both. They bonded briefly over having absentee dads. She even told him about her irrational fear of ants after a mishap of sitting on ant hill as a child, and he only judged her a little bit for it.

By the time they made it to Greek Row, she almost didn’t want the walk to end. Stopping in front of the Kappa Sigma house, she grimaced. He looked confused.

“You…are a sorority girl?”

“Not by choice.” She defended. “Legacy and all that. Shannon was forced into it, too, so at least I like my roommate.”

“How have I never seen you at the parties?” Ah, yes. The parties. Her president may be a business major, but she preferred to spend her time with a cocktail in hand and her tongue down her boyfriend’s throat.

“Simple. I don’t attend them. I stay in my room.” He nodded like that made the most sense in the world.

Opening his mouth, he was interrupted by an unmistakable bubbly voice behind them, “Oh em gee! Regina, are you talking to a boy??”

Chelsea was loud as she always was, and suddenly Regina could see a whole mess of her ‘sisters’ peering out the first floor windows or around the front door she still held open. She sighed, “Chelsea. Good to see you. My boyfriend was just walking me back from the library.”

“Lolz, no seriously! How could you meet a boy when you live more at the library than you do the house?”

Gary could almost feel Regina’s eye twitch. “Nice to meet ya, Chelsea. I actually know Reg from home. Ya gotta love a smart girl, ya know?” He winked at her, she rolled her eyes.

As he said goodbye and handed her things over, she made the split second decision to kiss his cheek in farewell.

Just to make the lie believable.

The very next night the sorority house was throwing another one of its famous parties, and as Shannon stuffed her bag full of things to escape to her own boyfriend’s dorm for the night, the door of their room burst open. Without turning from her notebook, Regina called out, “Chelsea, we go through this every time. I am not coming down. I am only required to take part in one party a year, and I filled that at quota at the Rush party.”

Shannon glanced back and forth between her and the new individual that entered before she crossed her arms, “Listen knobhead, this room is off limits. You plan on hooking up with a sister, you do it in her own room. Not ours.

Regina were caught off guard by the voice she was familiarizing herself with answering, “Just thought I’d pop in and say hello to my girlfriend.”

She chuckled, still not turning around, “Gary, come in and shut the door.” As soon as she heard it click she continued, her highlighter still skimming over important phrases, “You can’t lie to Shannon.”

“This is the best friend? I guess you told her?” He didn’t sound annoyed or mad, just like he was looking for confirmation.

She shook her head, “She’ll keep the secret, but I mean you literally can’t lie to her. She’s like a human lie detector.”

“One of you prats better explain something.” She interjected impatiently, and so Gary told her the same story he told Regina. She nodded almost imperceptibly when he finished, “Sounds like you’re living a fan fiction. Good luck with that, losers.”

“Just get outta here.” Regina rolled her eyes, “Tell Rahim I said hi.” She could see the name spark recognition in Gary’s eyes, but he wisely didn’t comment.

“Will do, babes. Gary…” She narrowed her eyes at him, clearly sizing him up, “Even if it’s fake, you better treat her right. I’m not dealing with a repeat. I’ll kill you first.”

“Shannon!” Regina snapped. He didn’t need to know about her ex. She rolled her eyes at the glare, grabbing her bag without another word and disappearing out the door. “Ignore her. The important thing is she won’t rat you out.”

Gary nodded, but she realized he was focused more on looking around. She could guess her room was a surprise. The sorority painted all the rooms the same pale pink, but the two of them had practically covered every inch in photos and movie or band posters. He pointed to the large Arctic Monkeys poster that hung above her desk, “You listen to them?”

She was not about to listen to someone shit talk her favorite band. “Yes. And if you start talking smack, I will defenestrate you.”

He held his hands up with a chuckle, “No, I actually went to their show last year. Frontman really knows how to give a performance.”

Her jaw fell slack, staring up at him, “Please tell me it was as magical as I’ve always imagined.”

“Even more!” The giddy look overtook his face as he started ranting about all the different things the band did as they performed, like he was coming alive talking about it. She’d seen him like this when he talked about his constructions in class, but never when she’d seen him around campus.

Before she even realized it, the two of them had been talking music for nearly two and a half hours. Clearing her throat, she switched off the small speaker she’d been using to show him a new artist she’d found, “You could probably head to the party now, if you wanted.” For once she didn’t actually care about kicking out the uninvited guest to get back to studying, “I’m sure the whole…gotta visit the girlfriend first thing would be believable now, it’s been a while.”

Gary seemed to deflate a bit, “Yeah, uh, I guess I could.” He seemed to be chewing his lip, trying to figure out how to say something, “Would you mind coming with me? I get parties aren’t your thing, but just like twenty minutes.”

She tossed the idea around. She honestly had no idea what made her even agree to this whole thing, it’s not like he really needed her to, and it’s not like she was getting anything out of it. She couldn’t really blame the pitying part of your brain anymore. But still, she found herself nodding. “Fine. Step outside so I can change.”

He shrugged, “You look fine to me but you’re the boss here.”

When she joined the sorority, after being sought out because even as a legacy she had no intentions of doing it, Chelsea had made her and the other new sisters sit through a four hour presentation she’d made on proper make up application. But because of it, and the ensuing days of practice she forced on everyone, Regina was made up and dressed in under ten minutes. The soft white material cling to her body, and the smokey eye she was able to master made her eyes pop even in the dark and neon lighting that illuminated the party. Gary rubbed at his eyes three times, before literally looking in her room behind her. “Stop being weird.”

“Holy shit. I knew you were a bird, but I didn’t know you were so…” he trailed off as he gestured to the entirety of her as she leaned into her shoulder into the doorframe.

She snorted, “No, please, continue.”

He stuck his tongue out and she laughed, “Come on, gotta show you off and all that jazz.” Regina moved to step forward and immediately stumbled, but he caught he against his chest, “God, have you been pregaming and just pretending to study or something?”

She had to focus on something other than the way his firm chest felt under her hands, “N-no. I just…never wear heels.”

His arm anchored around her waist the next moment, “Just lean on me. People might assume things, seeing as we just left your room and now you can’t walk, but if we get a drink in your hand quick enough they’ll just think that you’ve had more than they would’ve guessed.”

Parties were not her thing. But Gary never left her side. He knew more of the people here than she did even though she lived here, and every time someone called his name, his hand would press into the small of her back to lead her to join him. He never let her be alone in the loud mess of chaos. He never let his friends talk over her, even if he was the only one that could understand what she was saying, and he somehow always understood.

Gary was going to lose his mind. He wasn’t sure why he chose her. He thought it was because she happened to be nearby in the library when Rocco cornered him, but now he’s seen her music tastes- his tastes. He’s heard her awful jokes that match his terrible sense of humor. She’s brilliant, and in the gaudy almost nightclub lights the sorority house has on, she looked nearly ethereal. He thought she was gorgeous in the laid back t shirts and jeans he’d seen her wear to class, even the sweats she’d been studying in a bit ago, but this was an entirely different level. He was going to fall, and he wondered if it wouldn’t be worth it even if he fell on his face.

The two of them were actually having a great time, even when people couldn’t hide their surprise that they were together. Though it filled her with the same annoyance she felt at Rocco, her party mood was even bordering on enthusiastic.

Until Shannon came crashing through the front door, scowl on her face but eyes still puffy.

What shocked her more was that Gary made the first move, gently pulling her through the crowd until Regina could reach her, and then immediately ushering the two of them out the sliding glass door off the kitchen. He slid it shut, facing the party with his arms crossed over his chest, as if daring anyone to try to interrupt.

Shannon didn’t even ask him to stand guard from the inside before she exploded, so Regina knew she was upset. She never let anyone see her be vulnerable but her. “He cheated on me!”

Regina’s entire body went rigid as Gary’s eyes blew wide. Voice was even when she spoke, not angry, not sad, just even, “With who?”

She threw her hands up, “Some girl on the school cycling team! Joanna or some shite. She was still there when I stormed out.”

Regina shouldered past Gary without a word, and Shannon was hot on her heels trying to talk her out of something- what it was, Gary wasn’t sure, but he was definitely interested enough to follow. She stomped up to the bubbly blonde he’d met the day before, an edge in her voice that made her eyes widen, “Chelsea. My bat. Where is it?”

Shannon was adamantly telling Chelsea not to answer, but as the blonde bounced between each of their faces, she whimpered, “I’m sorry, Shannon. She scares me more. It’s this way!” She scampered off down the hall, returning a few minutes later with a baseball bat, barbed wire wrapped around the end. Gary’s eyes widened as Regina took it, stomping up to her room. He stood in the hall as Shannon argued with her, becoming more and more sober as she stomped out again in what were definitely steel toed boots, jeans, with a leather jacket thrown over her tank top and the bat clenched in her grip.

Gary had one thought. She looked fucking banging hot.

The night air nipped at their skin as she stomped her way across campus, and Gary was aware he should’ve definitely stepped in, tried to talk her out of it, but Shannon seemed resigned to the fact that there was no stopping her.

Approaching the dorm confirmed what Gary had suspected, he knew Rahim from the gym.

The RA intercepted them. “Reggie, please. I can’t keep calling maintenance to replace doors.” This has happened more than once?? Gary’s mind was reeling.

Regina wasn’t phased, simply holding out her hand and waiting until he sighed, digging into his pocket and setting a key in her palm. She clapped him on the shoulder, “We never saw you, Lucas. You were too busy studying for that physiology exam you have on Tuesday.”

“How do you- no, nevermind. I don’t care how you knew. Just remember it’s late. Try not to get security called.” Gary watched the dark haired man disappear back into his own dorm.

“What. The. Bloody. Hell.”

Shannon shrugged, “Ya get used to it, mate. Reggie has skills and tenacity that scare the average person.”

By the time they turned back to her, she already had the door unlocked and unlatched, kicking it the rest of the way open so it smacked off the wall behind it, “Hellooooooooo!”

“Oh fu- Reggie, please!” The man of the hour was a good foot taller than the woman in front of him, but he scurried to the furthest corner of the room away, “I tried to tell Shannon, it wasn’t what it looked like!”

“Reggie is for my friends, Ibrahim.” The bat sat hefted onto her shoulder as she watched him, and Gary was fairly concerned he was going to pass out on his own without it being involved, “You think I’m gonna believe you over my best mate? She saw you kiss her.”

Ibrahim looked like he was going to throw up, eyes darting to the Irish girl that leaned against the open door, “You saw that?”

“Aha!” Regina snapped, “I lied. She never told me anything. But you just admitted it happened.” Shannon turned out the door, and Gary followed her. He was still entirely unsure what the fuck happened tonight, but he didn’t think she should be alone.

Nearly twenty minutes later, Regina joined them outside, bat still poised in her shoulder and a cardboard box full of things tucked under her other arm, “Babes! Is this all your stuff?”

Shannon peered into it, just to laugh, “Reggie, you know damn well none of that is mine. I never left things over there when I stayed.”

“It’s not?” She hummed, “What a shame.” Regina chucks the box over her shoulder, and Gary’s mouth drops open as he recognizes Ibrahim’s laptop skidding out of it across the ground.

“Holy shit, mate,” he says breathily, “You might the craziest bird I’ve ever met.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet.” Shannon smirked.

Gary was stunned. He’d always seen you throughout your years of shared engineering classes and assumed she was just a pretty nerd. Clearly that wasn’t right. “What was that? Why was he so afraid of you?”

She looks thoughtful, “You ever seen a show called Wayne?”

“The kid that would fuck people up when someone crossed him?” He was confused, but if she meant what he thought she did…

Regina nodded, “No one knew who he was unless he went after them or defended them. I’m like that. I don’t associate with most people because I really do just want to get good grades and get gone. When I approach someone, they make an ally for life, or an enemy. They have to be a pretty special case. Lucas is used to me, a lot of them happen to live in this dorm building.”

Gary grinned playfully, “So you’re saying I’m pretty special.”

“You approached me, knobhead. Not the other way around.” She smirked back.

For two months, Reggie- he’d earned the right to call her that- and Gary fell into an easy rhythm. When they were in class together, they were sharing a table. He was walking her to and from class, arm tossed around her shoulders, as they talked about any number of things. She helped him study the equations he had trouble with, and now she was fighting him the top spot in their joint class. Regina had even realized that the Jakub Gary had mentioned was already afraid of her, after he had tried to destroy her sorority president’s relationship and she’d targeted him out of principle. A girl approached Regina out of nowhere two weeks ago, she thinks her name was Dottie or something, and said that she was giving up on Gary and wanted her to know that- she didn’t want Regina coming after her for a stupid crush. When she mentioned the interaction to him, he recognized her as the one trying to curse him, but he’d almost forgotten entirely.

And then it struck him with whiplash, they were faking this relationship. They had only been doing it to get a witchy girl off his back. Would Regina go back to never acknowledging him?

As more days went on, he kept up the ‘relationship’ type behavior. Holding her, studying with her, walking her home to the sorority house, kissing her cheek or crown of her head. He was waiting for her to tell him to get lost- just soaking up as much of her attention as he could get. The relationship might’ve been fake, but the friendship was real. And so were the feelings he was cautiously releasing in every ‘boyfriend’ move he made.

Four months into their friendship, he was walking her home when a voice called his name.

Regina watched as the redhead screamed Gary’s name again and again, jumping on his back before he could even turn around and pressing a loud kiss to his cheek. Gary’s eyes blew wide as shocked recognition swept over his features, “Han? Hannah, what are you doing here?”

Her chest seized. This absolutely stunning girl- this was Hannah? The ‘one-that-got-away’ broke up with him through text ex girlfriend Hannah? Oh.

She didn’t even seem to notice Regina. “Nan called me! You haven’t rang her in days!”

“Oh,” Gary sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, “We’ve been busy studying.”

Hannah laughed, head thrown back as she put her hand on his arm, speaking in a sultry tone, “Since when do you study anything but anatomy.”

He coughed out an awkward laugh, “Hannah, this is Reggie. My girlfriend.”

Hannah’s bugged out, and Reggie’s almost did the same, but she recovered faster, “It’s so good to meet you, Hannah! I’ve heard a lot of things.”

Hannah smirked at her, “Probably all good, I’d hope.”

Regina made a considering face, “Mostly just about the way you dumped him. A text after three years?”

Hannah squeaked, and Gary let out a low whistle. He was almost tempted to defend Hannah, purely by instinct, but he wasn’t the same guy she dumped nearly a year ago. Back when he would broadcast the dumb jock affectation to get people to like him, when she would tell him to tone down the science talk because no one could follow. Regina and Shannon had beaten that out of him- sometimes even literally. Yeah, he played football. But he was a lot more than that, and they helped him remember it. So he settled for pressing a kiss to Reggie’s temple, “Play nice, love.”

Hannah smiled at them, though it was plenty more forced now, “We’ll have to double date sometime. The two of us could catch up and I could learn about Reggie.”

“It’s Regina.” Gary said without thinking about, “She’ll let you know when you’ve earned the right to call her Reggie. It’s a friend thing.”

“Did you have to earn it, too? I was unaware you needed permission to call your girlfriend something.” Hannah raised an eyebrow.

“It’s called respect, Hannah.” Gary sighed. He knew she wouldn’t get it, she gave everyone a nickname. All the different pet names he called her. Half of them didn’t even make sense. “Who are you seeing now? Do I know ‘im?” Reggie could see it for what it was, a way to change the subject. But from the brief look of triumph Hannah sent her way, she knew the other girl took it as a sign of interest in her romantic life- like he wanted to be a part of it again.

“He should be coming right about- There!” Hannah waved at a boy with tattoos walking over, and Reggie couldn’t tell if she wanted to die of laughter, or fear he’d run his mouth. “Guys, this is Graham.”

Graham raised his hand in greeting, looking at Gary friendlier than most men would when they have his ex on their arm.

But then his eyes skidded over to her, and they blew wide before recovering. “Pleasure to meet ya both. Hannah told me how close you two still are and I had to meet the man of legend.”

Gary’s brow furrowed, and Reggie knew why. He hadn’t spoken to Hannah in months. Sure, some could argue he talked to her secretly, but he spent all his free time outside of class and practice with Shannon and Reggie. And the latter didn’t want to bear this awkward situation any longer.

“Well, um, I have class in a couple minutes, so Gare, I’ll meet you later? Leave you to catch up?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he said right away, “I’m walking you. I do it every day. We’ll have to catch you guys later.”

Graham nodded, “Of course. Can’t be missing lectures if she wants to see the stars, right?”

Reggie froze, and she knew Gary did too, knowing that Graham should’ve had no way of knowing what she wanted to achieve. Or maybe the condescension in his voice. But instead of questioning it, Gary tightened his arm around for a second before nodding once and steering her away.

They found themselves drifting toward the sorority house- seeing as neither of them actually had class right now. They had been released from a lecture just before Hannah found them. Shannon was sitting at her desk when they got there, half paying attention to the essay she was typing when they caught her eye and she raised a brow, prompting.

“Do ya know a Graham?” Gary asked, because honestly he was still just confused. But the pale girl’s face blanched before she was tossing her chair aside and rushing to Regina.

“Did he try something? Say anything? How’d he find you?”

“Whoa, whoa, Shan, he didn’t do anything.” Reggie laughed humorlessly, “It was actually Gary’s ex that found us.”

“The blonde? I thought we were done with her already.”

“No- Hannah.”

“Oh.” Shannon blinked, “But what- how-“

“Hannah is seeing this Graham now.” Gary filled in, “But who is he?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Reggie raised her hands uselessly.

And that’s when Gary remembered the first time he had been in your room. The way Shannon threatened him. “He’s your ex.” The words left him more like a puff of air, hanging there even as the girls nodded. “So, what’s the backstory?”

Shannon made a protesting noise at the question, but Reggie laughed, remembering how she’d asked him questions the first day they actually met. “Not much of a story, I’m afraid. Girl in high school. Girl meets boy who talks big about the world. Girl falls for boy. Turns out boy’s version of talking big about the world is actually just manning a fishing boat for months on end.”

“Boy tried to convince girl that refusing to give up her dreams to follow him meant that she didn’t know what love was.”

Reggie opened her mouth to protest, but resigned herself to Shannon’s words, “Yeah, pretty much. Then girl’s best friend reminds her that their mothers didn’t settle for toxicity and they didn’t have to either.”

Gary was irritated now. Not with her, but with this guy that thought she should have to choose, and then treated her like that because he thought she chose wrong. “Well fuck that guy.” Shannon snorted but Gary wasn’t done, “And fuck Hannah, too, to be honest. I saw the way she was trying to work you up out there. And I know damn well nan wouldnta called her after she dumped me. So we’re gonna do what we been doing, and acting like they ain’t phased us.”

Reggie blinked at him, before a question didn’t seem like it could hold itself back anymore, “What exactly have we been doing?”

Gary knew there were a lot of ways he could play that question. He could act like he meant friendship, act like he didn’t know all the casual touching and spending time together they did meant nothing. Or he could take a bigger risk. “We’ve been dating, haven’t we?”

“We’ve been-“

Gary waved her off, “Sure, lie to all three of us and say it’s been fake.”

Shannon snorted again, “Damn, the audacity. I’m here for it. Keep telling her like it is, Gary.”

Gary turned to face Reggie, look her in the eye, “I liked you long before that day in the library, and I like ya a bloody hell of a lot more now. I know you don’t plan to stick around in Chatham, but we’re almost graduated. Just a couple more months. Maybe I can prove to ya that…I can just follow you out of it. I’ll get a place wherever you wanna take that stand to help the world by searching the skies.”

Regina could’ve cried. The feelings she kept locked in her chest were growing every day, but he had always seemed like a routine guys. She had thought that he kept up the act because it was a routine of things he grew used to doing around her. But it was because he actually felt the same.

“Okay.” She agreed quietly, the shyest smile he’d ever seen on her face. “Let’s try it, if we can make it to graduation, you can tag along.”

Shannon wiped away a fake tear, “I’m so proud.”

But then Reggie smirked, “We’ve been together like seven months now? Take me on a date once in a while.”

Gary couldn’t help but laugh before he pulled her in and finally pressed a kiss where he’s wanted to this whole time, but resisted because it felt like too far.

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