#this is how big Taylor feels when I draw him

[cerealforkart]

May I offer you a Him in these trying times?

[jamminvroomvroom]

congrats on 5k queen! you’re writing is so brilliant beyond belief and you deserve all the love and support this site has to offer. can i request lando+angsty smut (the best combo)…prompts along the lines of “i don’t think im ever going to love anyone the way i love you”//“i don’t think i want to love anyone else”

how did it end?

ln x famous fem!reader

in which it ends, until…

i love this fic with my whole heart. thank u sm for this request, anon, and for being so absolutely for gorgeous and kind <3 kicking off the 5k celebration with a big, sad, sexy bang! lemme know what you think, hugs n kisses

songs to set the mood: how did it end? by taylor swift

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, angst angst angst, fluff, happy ending! exes to lovers, just. a lot going on. sad!lando, sad!everyone, so many feels, r is a big deal model, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking

4.1k words

one gasp, and then…

“how did it end?” the woman strokes your arm, soothing, tentative.

you don’t know her all that well, she’s signed to the same agency as you, you see her in the halls sometimes and sit next to her in makeup chairs.

you stare blankly at her, registering. news travels fast apparently.

you smile, small, fake, tilting your head to the side. you mumble something about different schedules, timezones, right person, wrong time. she watches your face intently, with sympathy. you want to throttle her. she’s being kind and you despise her for it right now.

“i won’t tell anyone.” she affirms, her fingers still smoothing over the skin of your arm.

yes you will, you think. all of her friends, the rest of the building will know exactly what you’ve told her by the time you get to your meeting. you don’t begrudge her, though, that’s the nature of the industry.

“well, it was good to see you.” you nod, even go in for a quick hug, and then you speed away, beelining for the elevator. the ride is short, your managers office somewhere on the third floor and you shuffle down the corridor, ready to be informed of what your life will look like for the next three months.

fittings, shoots, paris trip.

mhm.

swimwear season, charlotte tilbury, meeting with the vogue journalist.

cool.

week off, few days in london, monaco grand prix.

no.

“what? no.” you splutter. out of habit, you reach for a necklace, frown when you realise it’s no longer there.

“what do you mean, no?” she narrows her eyes at you.

“i can’t go to the race. no.”

“girl, i love you, but did i ask?”

“you know i can’t-“

“you won’t have to see him.” she reasons.

“but what if i do? he’s obviously gonna be there, and the events before and after- no. no.”

“lando norris is not gonna be the end of you.”

you stifle a laugh, one that sounds more like a strangled cry.

what if he already was?

-

look who we ran into at the shops,

walking in circles like he was lost

lando stares at the shampoo.

specifically, the one you use. used. he can’t be too sure anymore, he supposes.

he’d popped out for a loaf of bread, about an hour ago. he didn’t want to acknowledge how long he’d been staring at the women’s toiletries section.

you seemed to live on, everywhere. lando could see you in his apartment, the passenger seat of his car, the back of the garage. even the fucking supermarket wasn’t safe. you were very much alive, moving on with life, and yet you haunted him like he’d killed you himself.

perhaps he had, in a way.

the basket grazes the outside of his leg.

that’s the shower gel he’d buy for you, the one you only used when you stayed with him in monaco.

there’s the tampons you asked him to buy, crying back at home on your- his bed.

oh, and there’s the shampoo that you made him buy, the one that you told him made his curls feel extra fluffy when he was between your legs-

“lando?” a voice calls, drawing lando out of the mist.

“oh, alex. hey.” lando croaks. he hasn’t noticed the lump in his throat until now. he clears his throat, running a hand through his hair.

“what you doing, mate?” alex asks, eyebrows furrowed. he scans lando’s face, puffy eyes, watery.

“shopping.”

“for women’s shampoo?”

“no, no, just… looking.” lando stutters.

“when was the last time you slept?” alex’s voice is laced with concern, apprehensive. he doesn’t know what to say to his heartbroken friend.

lando smiles weakly.

“i’ve been sleeping.”

alex sighs.

“okay, when was the last time you slept properly, then?”

lando’s shoulders visibly sag.

“about a month ago.”

-

we hereby conduct this post-mortem

“we can’t do this anymore.”

the words fall from your lips in a whisper, but they reach him like you’ve screamed them at him. he sits opposite you, in the arm chair, so far away, only a metre or so.

“i know.” lando breathes shakily.

“i don’t want this but…”

“yeah.”

it’s been such a good year. you’re in love. it’s not enough. there’s too much distance, too many outsider opinions, too much longing for someone who’s on the other side of the world.

he’ll be in london. you’ll be in brazil.

he’ll be in australia. you’ll be in amsterdam.

it’s too much.

“i love you, though.” you remind him meekly.

“don’t know how to not love you.” he sniffles.

your heart shatters, the pieces flying over the room, spilling across the floor. they mix with the splinters of his, painting the room red. all you feel is blue.

you cry in his arms when he takes you to bed, his own tears spilling over your collar bone when he buries his head in your neck, licks over the marks he’s left there. to remember me by, he’d muttered dryly.

when you’re both finished, he lays there for a moment, still on top of you. damp with sweat and tears, the taste of one another still lingering on your tongues.

“how is it possible that i miss you already?” he pants, lips grazing just below your ear.

“i get it, lan. i’ve been missing you for a while.”

you’re gone when he wakes up.

and so, a touch that was my birthright became foreign

-

come one, come all

it’s happening again

the empathetic hunger descends

there are about six cameras pointed at you when he asks the dreaded question.

you’re in new york, sat on a talk show hosts sofa, lit by stage lights and his inquisitive eyes. two hundred people sit in the audience, on the edge of their seats waiting for you to spill your secrets.

“so, what happened there, with lando?”

you plaster on the fakest smile to date, crossing your legs anxiously.

“we’re both just so busy, you know? he’s doing amazing things in f1 and i’m all over the place with work.”

“we love both of you over here, it was sad to hear.” he sympathises, adjusting his tie and leaning back in his chair. his fingers drum over the wood of his desk, waiting for more.

vultures. everyone is a vulture.

“and we still have a lot of love for each other. he’s a wonderful person.”

there are tears in your eyes and bile rising rapidly in your throat when you shake hands with the crew, the host, and retreat to your dressing room. you stumble into the en-suite and throw up. then, you fall onto the sofa and cry. you fix your makeup at godspeed and reply to the text from your team, inviting you to drinks at some rooftop bar, promising to meet them there. you punctuate the text with one too many exclamation marks, feigning excitement.

“we still have a lot of love for each other.”

translation: i can’t understand: how did it end?

-

lando watches your interview. of course he does. he watches everything that you do, watches the way you set the world on fire.

he can’t help himself where you’re concerned, like an addict craving the next hit. you look so pretty on tv, glowing. you look fine.

god, why do you look fine?

he hates himself for hating just how fine you look. he is not fine.

“he’s a wonderful person.”

your words ring in his ears. they anger him, because if he’s oh-so-wonderful, why aren’t you here? why isn’t he there with you, waiting backstage? why can’t you just hate him? why can’t he just hate you? maybe you will, if he shows you just how not wonderful he can be.

he gets drunk that night. forces max to hit the clubs with him. sticks his tongue down a pliant woman’s throat. doesn’t ask her name. let’s her invite him back to her place. it has to be her place, he can’t fuck someone else in your bed, the one you used to share. he leaves minutes after he’s pulled out. he’s sure she’s lovely, too good for him and his bitter fucking heart. he feels utterly disgusting.

lando goes home, scrubs his skin red, and then does it again. he doesn’t go to sleep, watches from his balcony as the sun begins to rise over the sea. he hikes to the highest point he can reach in monaco, where it’s quiet and there’s no one to judge him, or worse, sympathise with him.

he stands at the edge of the cliff. screams once, twice. he sits on a rock, and lets himself cry.

the deflation of our dreaming

leaving me bereft and reeling

my beloved ghost and me

sitting in a tree

d-y-i-n-g

-

your stylist is plying you with options.

you can wear the denim with the cream OR you could do the red and white? or we can go full glam! or! or! or! we could-

you drown her out. you don’t give a fuck. not a single one.

what you wear to the monaco grand prix is quite literally the least of the your problems. your biggest problem, of course, is that you have to go to the fucking thing.

visibility is important, get people talking! the words of your manager ring in your ears until you have a dull migraine brewing behind your ears.

you leave the fitting not entirely sure what you’re wearing, but your stylist will be sending the clothes over so you can pack.

when you land in all too familiar nice, there are cameras. when you get to the hotel in monaco, you and lando are already trending on twitter. well, at least he knows you’re coming. when you’re getting your makeup done before your first event, you get a text.

i’ll try and keep my distance.

try.

try is such an interesting word. the fact that he has to try to stay away makes your belly flutter with embarrassing, self loathing butterflies. don’t try too hard, you want to respond. you don’t.

should’ve told you i’d be here you shoot back.

you think i didn’t already know?

of course he knew. he’d probably asked god knows how many brands to invite you. you try and feign an illness but your team drag you kicking and screaming to the event.

-

there are no two ways about it: you’re drunk, on a tuesday night, somewhere in the principality. a few cocktails with a jewellery brand turned into a night on the town, bar hopping with people you hardly knew and barely recognised.

you’re shaking your ass in jimmy’z, pretending to have fun when you see him.

lando stands at the bar, watching you, jaw tensed, eyes solemn. you exit the club faster that his car down a back straight, stumbling into the smoking area. you bum a cigarette from a guy who tries really hard to convince you that he’s the son of a british lord, and sink into the corner, ignoring the people recording you.

depressed model shame smokes outside monaco club because she is fucking pathetic, the headlines will read.

“thought you quit that shit.” his voice washes over your body like you’ve been set on fire, smooth tone, ambiguous accent making you ache.

“i did but then i got forced to come to monaco, so.” you shrug.

“forced?”

“‘m here for work.” you sigh.

“i guess i am too.” he mumbles. you raise an eyebrow.

“you live here, lan.” you tease. lan rolls off of your tongue too sweetly.

“doesn’t feel like it anymore.”

how can it, without you? he wants to scream at you. he can’t, you don’t deserve it.

“how are you?”

you want to touch him.

“shit.”

he needs a taste.

“yeah.”

you put your cigarette out. it tastes like shit, half smoked.

you stand there, stare at each other.

take me home, you want to beg.

come home, he clenches his fists, trying not to grab you and remind you how you’ll always be his, right here, up against the side of the club.

“good luck, if i don’t see you.” you whisper. you linger, praying that he’ll beg you to stay so that you can crumble into his arms, without having to make the first move.

lando ponders his options. his head and his heart wage a war.

logic wins, unfortunately.

“thank you.”

you take that as your queue to get the fuck out of there, and disappear into the night.

-

it’s raining on sunday. the dreary weather seems to perfectly sum up what has been the worst week of your life.

you’ve seen your ex boyfriend more times than you can count, ended up with about four hangovers as a result, and with a pounding head, you have to sit in the paddock club and wait for the sound of engines to split your head in half. it was your own doing, so you’d suck it up, recognising that you were a disgustingly privileged bitch, and there are people who would sell their kidneys to do what you’re complaining about.

you never complain, not usually. but your heart hurts and your body hearts and your mind hurts and it’s just not fair. lando is gorgeous, and you miss him so badly, and your shoes are digging in. who the fuck thinks it’s a good idea to wear heels to an f1 race?

you see him before the race, mouth good luck from afar. he winks. it’s something you used to do before every race. old habits die screaming.

the rain falls harder, the track slick. you say a prayer and take your seat.

“norris has this in the bag, he’s bloody good in the wet.” you hear some old guy say behind you. you are cursed with the knowledge of just how good in the wet he is, and you end up flushed.

he wins. his second one in three races. you pray that no one notices the way you weep. everyone notices.

you make a mistake and rush for the podium, your pass giving you access. he graces the top step and you sob, grinning like a fool, soaked through with rain. the anthem plays, the champagne pops. he finds your eyes in the crowd. your hair falls, stringy and curled, mascara smudged. you are the most breathtaking sight. he stands still, washed with an onslaught of champagne, watching you like he’s scared to take his eyes off of you. his boyish grin and hopeful eyes render you weak - you’re there for him, after all - and he can’t help but bask in that little fact.

dangerous territory. you break, and disappear.

-

say it once again with feeling…

the photographers barely get a second to snap a picture of the top three, because lando is gone. he takes the stairs two at a time, descending from the podium and throwing his pirelli cap and a shaky apology at his pr rep. the adrenaline spike makes his blood rush; he needs to find you and stop you and tell you that he will never be able to stop loving you.

the exit is the natural assumption, and he nearly slips a thousand times as he sprints through the paddock. the ground is wet, but he figures that if his car made it, so can he. the gates are in sight, and so are you, your clothes sticking to your shivering frame.

he calls your name, thunderously travelling towards you, his voice hitting your ears like a sonic boom. you freeze, turn slowly until your facing him. the rain splashes around you, not letting up.

you’re within his reach, and he pulls you in, hugging you tight. you melt into him, clinging like he’s a life force. he inhales you, your scent that he’s missed so horrifically. you crumble, and so does he, pieced back together as one.

“i can’t do this, i can’t.” he kisses the words into the cold skin of your neck.

“no, neither can i.” you choke wetly with emotion.

“miss you too much. it’s too hard, it’s stupid, it’s-“

“wrong. it’s wrong. ‘m sorry.” your breath fans his face, breathing life into him, life that he’d lost four months ago.

he grabs your shoulders, lowering so that his eyes are level with yours. his curls fall over his eyes, sodden from the rain.

“i don’t think, no, i know: i’m never gonna love anyone the way i love you.” lando speaks slow, convincing. your chest is tight.

“i don’t want to love anyone else.” you croak, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe.

“come back to me.” he mutters, pleading.

“don’t think i ever left.” you breathe, hushed.

your lips slot over his easily, it’s like breathing. the kiss is messy, helpless, and he engulfs you whole, his body wrapping around yours like a blanket. you latch onto his race-suit, drawing him in, and then you both seem to remember where you are.

lando norris caught kissing ex like horny teenager in monaco paddock!

you pull away with breathless chuckle. the air is fresh, and you feel alive. he steals another peck.

“wait for me at home. i’ll be quick.” his hand finds you ass, just for a second and you scold him playfully.

home.

yeah, home.

“don’t make me wait.” you grin.

his brain short circuits.

“do you still have your key?” he splutters, refocusing.

you scoff. “never took it off the chain.”

-

you pace the apartment, taking in the space. it hasn’t changed, but it’s messier, a visual representation of lando since you left. the pit of your belly swirls with anxiety, anticipation. he’ll be back soon, and he’ll kiss you, make love to you, remind you that you’re home and that it’d be stupid to leave again.

you’re still damp from the rain, shedding layers until you’re left in your vest and jeans, ridiculous heels kicked off by the door, your jacket airing over the back of a chair.

he hasn’t taken down the pictures of you together. he hasn’t moved your ugly collection of magnets from the fridge. he hasn’t changed the blinds that you chose, but he didn’t really like. your candles sit on the bookshelf half burned, the teddy he’d won you at a fair sits neatly on the sofa. the L pendant and it’s chain is strewn over the coffee table, right where you left it the morning after it ended. your breathing is heavy.

the front door opens behind you.

you don’t move, your eyes still fixed on the silver chain, overwhelmed by how empty your neck feels all of the sudden. he comes up behind you, his head resting on your shoulder, arms finding home around your waist. you often used to find yourselves in this exact position; while you brushed your teeth, made coffee. the room is deathly silent, breathing and the distant buzz of post race festivities the only thing you can hear. lando follows your gaze.

“kept it. knew that one day, you’d come back for it.”

“i came back for you.”

“and that necklace will stay with you when i can’t be there.”

you nod. he kisses your neck.

“missed you so bad.” you gasp. he licks your skin, bites down softly.

you spin in his arms, his hands pawing at your hips and everything blurs when he kisses you.

-

shaky fingers work over zippers, buttons, clasps, and then you’re both bare. you sink into the mattress that you missed so much, his body moulded with yours when you both tumble into the sheets. this is messy and frantic, utterly lovestruck. the lightning strike of his touch has you keening, sweating beneath him already.

“missed you. missed this.”

“do something, lan.” you cry, quiet against his shoulder.

“missed my perfect girl.” he grunts, lips working your chest while his fingers leave a trail of goosebumps over your inner thigh.

“please.” you sigh when his fingers dip between your folds, sliding over your wet flesh. his lip catches between his teeth, eyes fluttering shut at the feeling of you.

he thumbs at your clit, stroking over you in slow, firm swipes, and then he’s sinking a digit into you, slow and steady. your toes curl, tears pricking your eyes at the intrusion, but you don’t have much of a chance to adjust, a second finger joining the first. he fucks you full, the stretch of just two fingers making you whine, one hand threading into the sheets while the other slams over your mouth. you want to hide, the pleasure rendering you a mess across the pale grey linen.

“no, let me look at you.” lando rasps, spare hand tugging at your wrist. you whine, writhing when he curls his fingers. “why are you hiding?”

you can’t hold back the choked cry that sounds from the back of your throat, his palm bumping your clit as he grinds his fingers deep.

“gone shy on me, baby? where’s my good girl gone?” lando coos, moving so that he’s leaning over you. the angle change sends your legs flying, kicking out at the sweet torture. “‘s because you haven’t been fucked right in so long, hm? can’t remember how to behave?” he’s smirking down at you, scanning the changing lines of your face.

“need it, need-“ you stutter, the words dying on your tongue.

“words, pretty girl, words.” lando encourages, false sympathy dripping from his tongue.

“need to cum, want you to make me…” you trail off.

“was that so hard?” he tuts, and everything speeds up.

the sound of him working you so sweetly makes you shake, your thighs clenching tight around his hand. the wet squelch hits your ears and you blush, cheeks coloured deep with embarrassment, awe, desperation.

your mouth drops open, screaming silently when it hits, your thighs slick. you drip down his wrist, his hand covered in your release.

“there’s my girl.” lando sighs, diving down to kiss you hard.

you can feel the damp press of his fingers as they dig into your thighs and you squirm beneath him, finding your way into his mouth.

“fuck me.” you slur, teeth knocking with his. he swallows you whole, groaning into your mouth.

“not so shy now, hm? been dreaming of hearing you beg for it.” lando shudders, shifting between your legs.

you can feel the press of him, thick against your cunt and you wiggle your hips, pushing to meet him halfway. the stretch burns deliciously, and you grab at his shoulders, dragging him in.

“fuck, baby.” he breathes, sinking into you slowly. “feel like heaven.” disbelief coats his voice, like he can’t reconcile that this is real; you’re back here, his, in the bed you were always supposed to share.

“it’s so good. feel so good for me, lan.” you whisper, lacing your fingers through his hair.

“love you so much.” he kisses you like he means it, rocking into you with purpose.

“can’t believe i lived without this.”

“can’t believe you’re all mine.”

the release builds, every thrust reminding you of what you could have lost for good. there was no lack of love, in fact you were starting to wonder if you had loved each other too much before.

“never losing you again. can’t live without you. my beautiful girl.”

your tummy grows tight, and he finds your clit when he feels you clamp down on him. he pulls you through the pleasure, guides you to your orgasm and you blindly follow him. you’d follow him anywhere, you decide.

you tell him you love him when you let go, spilling all around him, warm. he’s panting, kisses your forehead gently. he rolls off of you, and you feel the slow drip instantly, but you curl into his side and he wraps around you.

home.

“promise me something.” he whispers. you feel the way he shakily inhales.

“hm?”

“don’t leave again. you belong here, too. with me.”

your eyes are watery.

“i’m staying. ‘m yours.”

“about that…”

lando springs from the bed, naked, disappearing from the room. you watch, confused, cold all of the sudden.

you can hear his footsteps padding through the hallway, and then he’s back, his figure in the hallway. he runs, jumps, lands gracelessly next to you. endeared, you laugh softly.

“sit up.”

you do, leaning up to sit next to him. his fingers skim your shoulder, pushing your hair out of the way. cool metal dances over your skin.

“back where it belongs.” lando smiles at you, eyes wide and stunning.

you toy with the L. something heals in your chest, right around where your heart is.

“the sweetest boy.” you shake your head in disbelief, grin up at him like a fool.

“bath?”

“you know me so well, noz.”

come one, come all

it’s happening again

-

oh, my heart. there is something deeply wrong with me

-

taglist

@boysthatgovroomvroom @welld0nebaku @thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne

[urfavlarry]

I recently got into School bus graveyard and I COMPLETELY understand the hype, idk if im the only who does this... but literally the moment I was done I went to tumblr for fics, but there's like none?? So maybe some dating headcanons for the group!! ^^

Dating Headcanons for the sbg characters

Ashlyn Banner

best person to have a lazy day with tbh

i swear yall would be like “should we go out today” look at each other for 5 seconds and say “nah”

she would teach you some gymnastics and laugh when your just lying there complaining how you aren’t flexible

probably is more of a person that gives you gifts, or gives you a hug in stead of comforting you with words

she would be a bit awkward at first probably

also I don’t think she likes excessive physical touch cuz red confirmed that Ashlyn is autistic but when she gets used to you she would be okay with it but still, don’t go too hard on her

you let her play/stim with your fingers

you’re always there for her when she gets overwhelmed and she loves you so much for that

doesn’t call you that many nicknames probably a short version of your name but if your name is already short then probably just love or babe

if you speak another language she would definitely wanna know some words or learn with you

if it’s your mother language then she would be like “omg how was [your country] like!”

probably is a nerd in some sort of way

anyway probably a great girlfriend to have but only if you aren’t the type to be really really and I mean REALLY extroverted

Taylor Hernández

this girl is such a cutie!!

would plan dates, sleepovers, night outs..

drawing/picnic dates are a must

watching the sunset or sunrise together on the rooftop

calls you cute nicknames like sunshine, mi vida, sugar and that kind of stuff

is very affectionate

cuddles !!

shes the little spoon probably but if you’re feeling down then she will gladly be the big spoon

you would definitely braid her hair if you know how, if you don’t know then there’s another idea for a date! teaching you how to braid hair!

probably isn’t even that awkward at first probably a little bit shy but gets pretty confident later on

the best partner to have if you’re insecure

makes your insecurities disappear in a heartbeat

overall a 11/10 girlfriend !! we love taylor :D

Tyler Hernández

he is probably a tsundere tbh

acting like he doesn’t care but when you are alone he babies you sm

no matter if your bigger then him, stronger, smaller, it doesn’t matter, he babies you no matter what

don’t let the others know tho

isn’t afraid to show you off like girl bffr

holds your hand, has his hand on your waist, kisses you on the forehead, cheek or lips before class starts (even if you are in the same class)

uses nicknames like mi amor, mi reina/mi rey, baby ect.

nicknames with him are endless

movie night is a must

probably would take you to his baseball practice

has a separate album for you only

everyone in the group can tell he’s love sick like he looks at you with heart eyes

a jealous type probably

would beat up anyone and everyone who looks at you the wrong way

he’s probably touch starved and he hides his feelings from you because he just prioritises you over anything

you gotta full on force him to tell you what’s wrong but after a while he opens up to you normally

a 100/10 boyfriend the poor boys been through too much

Logan Fields

gardening dates!!

gives you flowers when you’re sad or just whenever to make your day!

stargazing dates

yapps your ear off about astrology (you let him tho)

calls you nicknames like bunny, hun, love

gives you honest opinions on everything

regrets his choices when you get grumpy afterwards

makes it up to you by cuddling you or kissing your whole face

introduces you to his grandparents

they approved of course because they just trust that he can pick himself a good s/o

hugs from behind!!

reads you a book when you can’t sleep

helps you with your work but doesn’t do it for you (Barron trauma)

best person to seek when you want comfort and or advice

gives you honest advice so if you were in the wrong expect him to tell you lmao

if you listen to music on vinyls or CDs then definitely brings you to a music shop and he will spoil you rotten

loves listening to your music taste no matter what genre it is he just wants to bond with you

he’s such an adorable and amazing boyfriend it mealts my heart !! :D

Aiden Clark

be prepared to patch this boy up every single second of the day

and also getting him out of trouble every single day

he is a wild one for sure

doesn’t mean he’s a bad boyfriend

loves showing you things he learned on his skateboard and he tries to teach you

does that thing where he holds your hands while your on the skateboard, tells you to jump and flips the board for you

that tik tok kind of shi

while on the topic of tik tok, does every silly couple tik tok trend with you lmao

yapps your ear of all day every day

not the best person to ask for advice from but he will hold you until you feel better!

best cuddle buddy

and hug buddy

if you don’t like physical touch then idk if you could have a relationship with him, he will CLING to you as if his life depended on it

loves it when you play with his hair

makes a playlist for you two

calls you nicknames like rockstar, doll, my love, bae, babe

definitely has you saved as “future wife🤭❤️” or “the mother of my kids🥵😍”

he be weird like that

loves to have you in his lap

idk he probably likes you ass sm, not in a sexual way but just lays on it, smacks it, squishes it..

only in private tho

honestly a pretty good boyfriend but he’s more of like your child then boyfriend

Ben Clark

a chill one for sure

hugs, holding hands are a must

listening to music through his headphones how he did with Taylor in that one episode

jealousy scale is um pretty high

you gotta reassure this boy because he’s just scared of loosing you

would fr fight 100 people at once for you if you asked him to

whenever he gets angry, you’re there for him when Aiden can’t and he appreciates that

loves it when you hold his hand and rub circles on the back of it

forehead kisses >>

probably doesn’t give you that many nicknames since he doesn’t speak, either a short version of your name, bae or hun

the best listener ever (not because he doesn’t speak)

when you start to yap and just talk about the most random things he has your back against his chest as he rests his chin on your shoulder

very chill and overall good boyfriend

[the-winter-spider]

Invisible | Part Five

Pairings: Bucky x Reader AU

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Angst, smuuuuutttttt, bucky and you dumb affffff and will continue to be dumb affff lol

A/N: I will be updating my masterlist to link it below so you dont have to search for the other parts!

As you walked in a clicked the door shut, placing your keys in the bowl, that had little flowers painted all over it your heart clenched, Bucky made it to you is some ceramics class he took so he could make you a birthday gift that was extra special, you sighed pulling out your phone to text Steve: Made it home safe.

Your phone chimed back almost instantly: Good. Was worried about you.

As you made your way down the hallway, your hand lingered on your door as you stared at Bucky's door, which was across from yours "Stop it" You mumbled to yourself, you shut your door behind you a little too fast as you typed out: Thanks for always being there Stevie.

It said Read as soon as the message sent and the bubbled popped up: Always. Get some rest, okay?

I'll try, Dont drink too much beer, someone told me its not good for your health ;) night

-- Ha ha, whoever said that sounds like a smart guy... Goodnight :)

You laid in bed, staring up at the ceiling, your mind a chaotic mess of thoughts you can’t quiet. You’ve been tossing and turning for what feels like hours, every second dragging painfully slowly. Your heart twists with questions and doubt, replaying all the subtle moments with Bucky—moments you were so sure meant something more. Had you read all the signs wrong? All this time, you thought there was something unspoken between you, something lingering just beneath the surface. But now, with Kate in the picture, that hope feels like it’s slipping away, leaving you feeling vulnerable and maybe a little foolish.

You’re still caught up in the whirlwind of your thoughts when you hear the front door click shut. Bucky is back. Only one pair of footsteps echoes through the quiet apartment, and you exhale softly. Kate isn’t with him.

You listen as his footsteps draw closer down the hall, your heart pounding as they slow right outside your door. You hold your breath, half-wanting to call out, half-terrified of what he might say.

After a moment, his soft voice breaks the silence. “Doll…you awake?”

You bite your lip, staying silent, your eyes squeezed shut as if that might make the whole situation disappear.

There’s a long pause, and then you hear him sigh. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” His voice is barely a whisper, laced with regret. You hear him linger for a beat longer before the quiet click of his bedroom door closing.

Your heart sinks, and you lie there, sleepless and aching, until exhaustion finally wins over.

When you wake the next morning, the apartment is still and quiet. You glance across the hall, hearing no sounds from Bucky’s room. Thank God. You don’t know how you’d face him just yet, so you dress quickly, grab your things, and slip out of the apartment, practically fleeing as if it were on fire.

The early morning air is crisp, waking you up fully as you make your way to your usual spots. You grab a coffee, linger at the bookstore for a while, and then pick up a bottle of wine for girls’ night, something you’re now very much looking forward to. On a whim, you swing by your favourite bakery, grabbing a big bag of donuts, hoping it’ll be a welcome surprise.

By the time you reach Wanda and Natasha’s apartment, it’s still early, and you can almost hear Wanda’s sleepy grumble before you even knock. After a few moments, the door creaks open, and Wanda appears, rubbing her eyes, looking as if she’s just rolled out of bed.

She blinks at you, her voice drowsy. “You’re about five hours too early for girls’ night,” she mumbles with a yawn.

You laugh, lifting the bag of donuts. “I come bearing gifts!”

Her eyes light up at the sight, and she grins. “Screw girls’ night. This is now a girls’ day.” She opens the door wide, ushering you inside with a grin.

You gather around the kitchen table, mugs of coffee in hand as you tear into the donuts. It doesn’t take long for the questions to start, Wanda eyeing you carefully between bites.

“So,” Wanda begins, her voice casual but with that all-too-knowing glint in her eye. “What’s going on with you and Barnes?”

You let out a heavy sigh, and Wanda's face softened , as if sensing just how much you’ve needed this. “It’s…complicated,” you admit, glancing down at your coffee. “I thought…I thought there was something between us, you know? And after all these years.... But now, with Kate…I don’t know anymore, i dont think i ever did"

Wanda frowns, reaching out to pat your hand. “Maybe he’s just as mixed up as you are,” she offers gently. “Bucky’s not exactly known for being straightforward about his feelings.”

“Yeah, but after all this time…” you trail off, feeling the weight of all those quiet hopes and missed chances.

Wanda shakes her head, determination flaring in her eyes. “Look, you deserve someone who knows exactly what he wants and isn’t afraid to show it, and its girls day anyway, forget about those stupid boys!"

You raise your coffee cup in agreement. “To girls’ day,” you declared, grinning. “Where we eat donuts, drink wine way too early, and forget about all confusing men for a while.” You clink your coffee mugs together, laughter filling the room. And as the morning stretches into afternoon, with stories and laughter, you find yourself able to breathe a little easier.

---

Later that day, Steve, Bucky, and Sam were sprawled around Steve’s living room, beers in hand, the low murmur of a football game playing in the background. It was guys’ night, meant to be an escape, but the tension in the air was hard to ignore.

After a sip, Sam shot Bucky a look. “So…how’s she doing?” he asked, referring to you, tone casual, but with an underlying hint of curiosity.

Bucky shifted in his seat, his jaw tightening. “She was asleep when I got back from the bar last night,” he muttered. “And gone before I woke up. Hasn’t been answering any of my texts.” He rubbed a hand over his face, clearly frustrated.

Sam snorted, shaking his head. “Can you blame her?”

Bucky gave a weak chuckle, but his shoulders slumped. “I know,” he sighed, glancing away. “Nat gave me an earful last night.”

Steve groaned, rolling his eyes as he leaned forward. “Do you really get it, Buck? Do you know how amazing she is? She’s been there for us, for you through everything—through all the moves, the close calls, every rough patch. She’s loyal, funny, strong, and—she’s beautiful, Bucky. Inside and out.” His voice softened. “She’s always been there, right there pal.”

Realisation flickered across Sam’s face watching the way Steve talked about you piecing together how he was when he rushed out the night before to chase after you and the way he wouldn't let his phone lock till you said you made it home safe, while Bucky stared into his drink, his usual swagger deflated. He stood up to grab another beer, muttering to himself, “If I didn’t know any better, Steve, I’d say you were in love with her.”

As the words left his mouth, the room went silent, the no response was a response enough. Bucky froze, beer forgotten, as he shut the fridge door and peered at Steve. “You…you’re in love with her?”

Steve sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding Bucky’s eyes. “Man…can you blame me? After all these years? Are you telling me you’re not?”

Bucky blinked, taken aback. He shook his head slowly, in disbelief. “I mean, I knew you had a crush on her back in junior high. But come on, everyone did.”

Sam, leaning back on the couch, gave Steve a knowing look. “So, why didn’t you make a move, Rogers?”

Steve shrugged, his eyes distant. “Come on, you know why, Sam.”

Sam nodded, understanding why because well he tried but after looking, really looking he could tell your heart was tied up elsewhere, and Steve glanced at Bucky, a faint apology in his gaze. “Look, Buck, I didn’t mean to drop that on you. I’m sorry, pal, its just i dont get you man”

Bucky hesitated, the gears visibly turning in his mind. “Are…are you still in love with her?”

Steve let out a sigh, giving a small, wistful smile. “She was the first girl I ever fell in love with, Buck. Part of me probably always will be. But y’know she's my best friend and you're my best friend too…” His voice softened, a bit nostalgic, and understanding as he met Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky shifted, brows drawn, processing Steve’s words. “Does she know?”

Steve shook his head with a dry chuckle, and Sam cut in, rolling his eyes. “She’s as blind as you, Buck. God, you two are just—two peas in a pod.” Sam raised his beer, a grin spreading on his face. “Here’s to that.”

Steve chuckled, raising his own beer. “I’ll toast to that.”

Bucky frowned, folding his arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Steve leaned forward, looking Bucky dead in the eye. “Look, punk, that girl’s been head-over-heels in love with you since we were kids. Anyone with two eyes can see it. And you? You’ve been playing this back-and-forth with her for years—whether you know it or not. I know you’d never hurt her on purpose, but come on, man. You’ve gotta stop doing this.”

Bucky’s jaw tightened, a mix of frustration and longing crossing his face. His gaze dropped, his voice almost a whisper. “I fell in love with her the first day I saw her, when we fought over the swings in kindergarten” He smiled softly “Ive never, never loved her”

Sam groaned, throwing his hands up. “Then what the hell’s stopping you, Buck? She’s right there, man! You know how many people search their whole lives for ‘the one’? And she’s been there all along!”

Bucky clenched his jaw, his voice barely more than a growl. “I know, Sam. Don’t you think I know?”

Steve shook his head, exasperated but with a hint of a smile. “Then what the heck are you waiting for?”

Bucky looked at both of them, the weight of years of history and feelings settling over him “Something happened in college”

---

Just as you finish setting out the wine glasses, Natasha walks in, kicking off her shoes with a groan. “Finally!” she exclaims, collapsing onto the couch. “Rough day. I need a drink and a plan for tomorrow. We’re going all out for your date.”

You laugh, topping off Natasha’s glass. “Already on it. Tomorrow, we’re going shopping for a new dress. And then Saturday, you’re kicking Bucky and the boys out of the apartment, and we’re having girls’ day to get you ready.”

Wanda grins, chiming in, “And fingers crossed, maybe you won’t come back. You’ll be over at Dean’s, if you know what I mean” she wiggled her eyebrows

You roll your eyes, groaning. “Slow down, Wanda! Not so fast!”

Wanda tilts her head with a teasing look. “Speaking of which, when was the last time you even got close to any action? You’re never with anyone, not even back in college!”

Natasha leans in, smirking. “Don’t tell me we’ve been getting all the action while you’re at home alone with a favourite vibrator or something....unless you've been hiding a double life this whole time" She winked

You sputter mid-sip, choking on your wine as the other two crack up. Laughing, you shake your head. “I mean… there was… one time.”

Natasha raises an eyebrow, her eyes gleaming. “Excuse me? Who? You never told me this.”

Wanda, leans closer “Come on, spill. Who was it?”

You sigh, feeling the warmth in your cheeks. “Okay, okay….do you guys remember that party John Walker threw in our third year?”

Wanda’s eyes widen. “Oh, how could I forget? Natasha jumped from the balcony into the pool, and I nearly had a heart attack!”

Natasha laughs, looking delighted at the memory. “Best party of college. But wait… I remember after that, we couldn’t find you anywhere. We looked for ages and got really worried.” Her expression shifts, suspicion dawning in her eyes. “Wait. Whose room did you disappear to that night?”

Wanda’s jaw drops, and she leans forward, her eyes alight with excitement. “Oh, this is gonna be good. Tell me it was someone we know! Oh my god was it Tony?!”

They start tossing out names: “Steve?” “Sam? No he was already gone” “That guy in your English Lit class?” “Oh my god it had to have been that exchange student, with the long blonde hair -- he looked like a god and he was so into you!”

You finish your wine, swallowing before glancing meaningfully at Natasha, that was one of your favourite things about your relationship with her, the way you both could just almost telepathically speak to one another.

Natasha’s eyes widen, her mouth dropping open in shock. “No, nuh huh! No way.”

Wanda looks between the two of you, completely lost. “What? I’m missing something here!”

Natasha, still staring at you in disbelief, finally speaks, her voice low. “Bucky?”

You nod, cheeks burning as Wanda promptly spits out her wine, sputtering in shock. “You’re kidding!”

“Not at all,” you admit. “We… never talked about it again. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even remember it was me.”

Natasha’s expression softens. “You don’t have to tell us the story if you don’t want to.”

But you just give a little nod, ready to finally let it out. “It was after you jumped off the balcony into the pool, I decided I should probably check on the boys especially if that's what you were doing” You laughed shaking your head “Bucky and I… we did a couple of shots….and there was this… moment.”

Natasha and Wanda exchange glances, both of them leaning in, wide-eyed as you begin to share the story of that unexpected, unforgettable night.

The party is in full swing, laughter and music echoing throughout the dimly lit house. You stumble out of the crowded living room, laughter bubbling in your chest as you weave through the throng of bodies.

You spot Bucky on the far side of the room, his broad shoulders hunched over as he leans against the wall, a beer in hand. He's wearing that classic, easy grin that makes your heart race.

With a few drinks in you, your inhibitions are low. You move toward him, your steps unsteady but filled with purpose. "Hey, Barnes," you say, your voice a playful challenge. "Having fun?"

Bucky's smile widens, and his blue eyes sparkle with mischief. "Just trying to keep an eye on the chaos. You know how it gets at these things." He gestures toward the crowd where Steve has just attempted to do a keg stand, much to everyone's delight.

“You’re telling me, Nat just jumped from the balcony into the pool” You gesture with your hands to the backyard, you could tell that he was worried by the look that washed over his face “She's okay, its Nat, Wanda on the other hand almost had a heart attack”

“God, she's insane!” He laughed, finishing his drink.

“Yeah, after that i decided to come check on my boys”

“Your boys hey?” He half smiled, his eyes piercing into yours

You laugh, leaning closer to him, the warmth of his body drawing you in. "Yeah my boys” You shoved him lightly, feeling anxious all of a sudden “Want another drink?" He nods, and together, you slip into the kitchen. The room is quiet here, and the air is filled with the sweet smell of spilled cocktails and the faint scent of something baking in the oven.

You pour two shots of something strong, handing one to Bucky. "To surviving another wild night," he toasts, clinking your glass against his.

"Cheers," you giggle, and you both down the shots, the liquor burning pleasantly on the way down. You pour another round, the world around you blurring into a warm haze.

As the night wears on, you find yourselves retreating to a quieter corner, sharing stories and laughter, the tension between you thickening like the air before a storm. "You know, I always thought you were kind of a dork," you tease, nudging him playfully.

"Yeah? And what do you think now?" he asks, leaning closer, the playful spark in his eyes deepening.

"I think you're a charming, more sophisticated dork," you say softly giggling. But then all of a sudden the moment shifts, when Bucky's face stays serious even with your giggles. The laughter fades, replaced by something heavier, more charged.

Bucky's gaze drops to your lips, and you feel your heart racing. "I could say the same about you, you’re a dork too…" he murmurs, and you can't help but feel drawn to him. He reaches out, brushing a stray hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering just a moment longer than necessary “But I always thought you were the most beautiful girl in any room, like thats my best friend, couldn't believe it, still cant” The air crackles between you, and suddenly, the noise of the party fades away.

You find yourself leaning in, breathless, and Bucky meets you halfway. His lips are warm and slightly rough against yours, igniting a fire in your veins. You kiss him back, deepening the connection, your hands finding their way to his neck, pulling him closer.

As the kiss intensifies, you feel the world spin away, leaving just the two of you in this moment. Bucky's hands slide to your waist, fingers digging into your sides, anchoring you against him.

He pulls you closer, and the heat of his body against yours sends shivers down your spine. "Let's get out of here," he whispers against your lips, his breath hot and inviting.

You nod, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nervousness. He takes your hand, leading you through the house, away from the noise and chaos. You finally reach a door at the end of the hall. Bucky opens it, and you step into his dimly lit room.

As soon as the door closes, he's on you again, kissing you fiercely, as if he's been waiting for this moment as long as you have. The bed looms behind him, a tempting promise of what's to come.

Bucky's hands roam over your body, exploring with an urgency that sends your heart racing. "Are you sure about this doll?" he asks, pulling back slightly to look into your eyes, the sincerity in his gaze grounding you.

"I am," you breathe, and that's all the reassurance he needs.

With a shared breath, he pushes you gently back toward the bed, and you sink onto the soft sheets.

He follows, his body a comforting weight above you as he kisses you again, slower this time, exploring the taste of each other like it's a secret.

The world outside fades completely as you lose yourselves in each other, fingers tangling in hair, the soft sounds of your breaths and whispered names filling the room. Bucky's hands slide beneath your shirt, his touch igniting a fire on your skin as he revels in the curves and contours of your body. You arch into him, craving more.

"You feel so good," he murmurs against your neck, his breath hot against your skin.

The sound of his voice, thick with desire, sends waves of heat crashing over you. "Bucky," you gasp, feeling bold as you pull him down to kiss him again, your legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him closer.

He responds with a low growl, pressing into you, the friction driving you wild. "Are we really doing this?" he asks, his voice thick, almost reverent.

"Yes," you whisper, and it's like a spell has been cast. He grins, and the world melts away as you lose yourselves in each other, bodies entwined, hearts racing, as the night unfolds in a flurry of passion and warmth.

"You have no idea doll, no idea...." He whispers before diving back in, time loses all meaning, the night stretching on until exhaustion pulls you both under, and as sleep claims you, the last thing you feel is the warmth of Bucky's body next to yours, a content sigh escaping his lips.

The next morning, sunlight filters through the curtains, casting a soft, golden glow over the room. You blink against it, slowly waking up to the warmth of Bucky beside you, still fast asleep. For a moment, you let yourself soak in the sight of him, the softness of his face, the gentle rise and fall of his chest. But then it hits—the sharp pang of reality—and your heart sinks.

Your mind races, doubts creeping in like shadows. Last night felt like a dream, one that you’d wanted for so long. But had it really meant something to him? Or was it just a hazy, alcohol-fueled blur—a careless mistake he wouldn’t think twice about in the morning? Anxiety knots in your stomach as you wonder, What if I was just… there? Convenient.

Slowly, you slip out of bed, careful not to disturb him, each movement feeling heavy, like you’re pulling away from something you’ll never get back. You dress in silence, your hands trembling slightly as you piece together last night’s clothes. You glance back at him once, letting yourself hold onto the memory for a beat longer, but the panic rises again, louder than before. He’s Bucky—your best friend—and you don’t dare risk what little you have left with him if he wakes up and regrets this.

You need to leave before he opens his eyes. Before you see anything in them that could shatter you.

With one last look, you step out, closing the door softly behind you, the quiet click echoing in the empty hallway. As you walk away, the weight of that night presses down on you, a mixture of longing and regret settling deep, leaving you wondering if he’ll ever even think of it again.

[eufezco]

Richie with wife reader. Soft!Richie only for his girls!! Anything at all. Fluff and a little suggestive. Tag me later!! Thanks!! :))

Richie asked you if you could stay with his daughter when Carmen called him from the restaurant to ask him for help. There was only a week left before the opening and even though Richie was on his day off, he could not ignore Carmen when he needed him.

It had been a couple of hours since he had left and little Eva was busy watching TV while you cooked dinner. She had asked a few times where her dad was but she felt comfortable enough with you to forget that Richie had been gone all afternoon. You both had watched a movie, made some drawings for Richie and Tiffany while you listened to Taylor Swift, you had prepared a snack for her when she woke up from her nap and now she was sitting on your couch in her pajamas, peacefully waiting for her daddy.

Richie opened the door of the house. —I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How are my sweetest girls? Oh, you missed me? —He asked his daughter when she stood from the couch and ran to him. Richie picked up the girl and hugged her while he walked towards you to give a quick kiss on your lips.

You hummed when Richie kissed you, glad that he was finally home and just in time for dinner. —We've really missed you —You were focused on mixing the pasta well with the sauce. —Do you wanna tell him why, Eva?

—We took a nap —. The little girl confessed and Richie acted hurt.

—You took a nap? Without me? — Richie asked and Eva laughed He smiled. —Was it good at least? —He asked and the girl nodded. Richie gave her another tight hug and devoured the little girl's face with kisses before putting her down on the floor and telling her to go and wait for him on the couch.

Once Eva was focused on the TV, Richie put his arms around your body, hugging you from behind and resting his head on your shoulder while you continued cooking.—I'm sorry, baby. I should've called to tell you that it was going to take longer.

—It's fine, Richie. You know I don't mind looking after her. We've had fun.

He hugged you tighter, you had always been so sweet to his daughter and Eva loved spending time with you. Tiffany had played a big part in it, you both had a lot of respect for each other and she had helped to bring her daughter's relationship with you closer.

—You're gonna be the best mom in the world.

You hummed again. Richie, with his head tucked on your neck, tickled you with his beard. You closed your eyes, feeling Richie's hands caressing your belly over your clothes. You wanted nothing more than to be a mother to his kids, but with all the chaos after the wedding and the opening of the restaurant, you had been too busy to stop and think about it.

—Why don't we start now? —He murmured in your ear. Richie's hands started slowly moving from your belly to the elastic of your pajama pants. His face on your neck started kissing your skin there. You bit your lower lip and stopped mixing the pasta to give him a gentle slap on his hands to get him to behave.

—Richie, Eva's here —. You whispered.

He huffed and let his forehead fall on your shoulder. You giggled at his reaction and put one of your hands on his head to caress his hair. He closed his eyes and enjoyed your touch. Richie didn't want to show you how overwhelmed he was with everything related to the restaurant opening, but he didn't have to because you already knew. You both worked there, you knew how it worked. The only thing that made you relax these days was coming home together and realizing that you had each other. Marrying you was the best decision he had ever made in his life, there wasn't a day that went by that he didn't think about how lucky he was.

—Dinner's almost ready. Why don't you go and take a shower?

Richie nodded and let his arms go from around your body. You turned around and kissed his lips. He showed you a satisfied little smile and went in for another kiss. Then, Richie walked over to the couch and planted a kiss on the top of Eva's head, who was too distracted by the TV.

—Wait —. You said before he went into the bathroom. Richie turned and saw you walking to where he was. His blue eyes lit up.

—Want to join me? —He asked excited. You nodded and his excitement grew. Richie's great imagination was already working and he couldn't have liked more all the images that went through his mind.

—We won't take long.

—We won't?

You shook your head and laughed. His daughter was there and the dinner was ready but food could wait and if Eva needed anything she could knock on the door or just call you, your apartment was not that big, and you would hear her just fine. By the time you finished thinking about it, the bathroom door was already closed and Richie's lips were on yours while he pulled on the hem of your pajama shirt.

@pear-1206 <333

[hunter470]

My 9-1-1 RANT

Ok, I don’t normally do these types of posts, but I can’t move on until I get some things out. These are just my thoughts about the latest episodes of 9-1-1 as well as overall comments on the Buck/Tommy relationship. These opinions are mine and are based on the countless hours of TV I’ve watched in my 54 years on this planet, as well as my knowledge of writing and how Hollywood operates. I’m not confirming that any of this is true or are the real intentions of anyone involved with the show. Just my opinions. So, you can agree with me or not. I’m not trying to persuade anyone in any way. Also, I’m not going to get into endless arguments about my opinions but feel free to comment if you want, I just don’t promise I’ll reply. 

Ok, here we go. Sorry it’s so long. Like I said earlier, I just needed to get it out. So many wasted opportunities.

If you think TM cares what the fans want, you’re seriously kidding yourself. If he did, Buddie would have been canon a long time ago. The only thing he cares about is ratings and his vision for the show, which can change at a moment’s notice with no rhyme or reason as we’ve seen. 

Although I loved Buck and Tommy together, I knew the show wouldn’t do their story justice. So, no matter what TM or OS have said, the bi story was only to garner publicity, draw in new viewers, and increase ratings especially with the show moving to a new network. There was no altruistic reason behind it so don’t kid yourself. They knew there was an audience for the story because of all the Buddie shippers. Just remember, it’s called show business, not show friends for a reason.

Do you think OS really cares about bi representation? Based on his latest comments and non-apology it’s obvious he only cares about getting the stories that garner him the most screen time and press. Seriously, read his latest interviews. He’s excited to get to have fun now. So, congrats OS, Buck gets to F around. Just shows how most, if not all, actors are ego driven no matter what they say. Sorry not sorry.

TM has commented that he doesn’t owe anyone anything. In fact, I recall him saying to Buddie fans if they don’t like it, read fanfiction. If that didn’t clue you in, then you weren’t reading the room. Kinda reminds me of another show runner…for those who watched H50 you know who I’m talking about. That’s why I don’t get heavily invested in these shows. I’ll watch but I never expect anything I like to last…especially if it has to do with gay relationships.

It says a lot that the show remained completely silent about the bullying and death threats Lou received just for playing a role he was happy to play. Again, they really didn’t care because they knew he wasn’t going to be there after episode six. What a great message for all the bullies…just keep bullying and you’ll get what you want. 

Again, reread OS’s interviews. He was doing the Hollywood double speak. Says just enough to keep you hooked with hope to get you to watch even when he knew all along it wasn’t lasting. It really was as clear as day if you go back and read what he said. 

Also, if you thought Buck was going to get into a meaningful long-term relationship, then you didn’t watch the video from the You Tuber “Call Me Chato” that TM posted on his Facebook. The video was all about characters and how they should always stay fundamentally the same with minimal development - I’m paraphrasing. However, Buck is the golden retriever, heart so big it gets broken, character who will remain on a hamster wheel and unlucky in love because that’s who he is. If he changes too much it shifts the dynamic, which only happens if the show was ending. 

If you thought the writers would do justice to a bisexual story, then you haven’t been watching the show closely. There’s been minimal Buck/Tommy relationship development on screen. Taylor got more. Viewers were lucky to get crumbs in the limited screen time Buck and Tommy got. Then, a breakup out of left field? One minute Buck is saying Tommy is it for him and he wants him to move in, and then it’s over? If he truly felt deeply for Tommy, why not fight to keep him? Why give up so easily and let him walk away? What’s the point? Also, to end it on a terrible stereotype is yet another clue. Horrible writing and another sign that TM and OS had zero investment in the relationship. The whole break up was rushed and made no sense. Essentially, it was just used to draw people in and to get Buck single and sleeping around again because that’s who he is. I for one won’t care for any of Buck’s future relationships. I mean, why would I when they never last. 

Also, writers that give you a 66-year-old police sergeant and a 10 y/o boy landing a heavily damaged plane on an active freeway in LA with no prior training, and sorry playing video game flight simulators is not training, is some Sharknado level writing, which is not a compliment. Oh, and that whole story was truly the shows “jumping the shark” moment. If you don’t know what the term “jumping the shark” means, look it up and try to tell me I’m wrong. 

Not having Tommy involved in the three part premier episodes, other than a few minutes at a birthday party, was so obvious as to the show’s intent. I mean, the fake captain from Hotshots got more screen time. 

They claim they wanted someone for Buck that was connected to him and the 118 and then you don’t use the character at all. You wanted Buck off the hamster wheel? What a crock! Such a wasted opportunity.

Since it’s been confirmed episode 6 was filmed before 5, Tim’s just playing god with peoples’ feelings and crushing their hearts at this point. I mean, how do you have such a great episode (5) and a wonderful speech by Josh (6) just to break them up? Plus, having Tommy break up after six months? That man was all in, which was obvious in episode 5.

Guess it shouldn’t be a surprise that’s how TM would handle things after that horrible Tarlos breakup. At least on Lone Star we knew Rafa (Carlos) was a main cast member so there was hope. Lou was a guest star so it seems kinda final based on his interviews. Again, what was the point? They could have had Buck's bi revelation be with a random character. So, building up the Buck/Tommy relationship just to take it away was to inflict the most pain. Good job. 

Do I think the show will make Buddie canon? Who knows…one thing I do know is I wouldn’t trust them if they did. Also, even if Tommy somehow returns, I don’t trust TM with anything related to this story. Sure, hope he’s happy with ruining the show for so many people. Again, like another show runner I mentioned in item 4 above. Honestly, I can’t believe the Buddie fans have stayed for so long. That’s commitment, I guess. 

Do I think Lou should go back to 9-1-1? Hell no! He was screwed over by both TM and OS. Prove it to me otherwise. However, it’s up to him and of course, he loves acting so I wouldn’t blame him.

Finally, even though I’ve watched the show since the beginning, it no longer brings me joy. There are too many other TV shows to stick with one I no longer enjoy. So yes, I’m announcing my departure, and I don’t give an F what OS, you, or anyone else thinks about it. Not that any of this matters any way…

[thecapricunt1616]

Very First Time (c.b. one-shot)

𝓢𝓷𝓲𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓽 (𝓶𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓑𝓣𝓒): “It’s you who wants to kiss me. I told you I’m a better kisser then you, so, if you don’t believe me why don’t you come find out.” He mused and went right back to reading. You sat there for a few moments, dumbfounded. You had a crush on Carmy, but it was only founded when you weren’t together - well, that was a lie, you still thought about kissing him while you were with him but would scold yourself for it that it was weird because he’s your best friend and it’s wrong to think of him that way. 

♡ Chapter Inspo: So High School - Taylor Swift ; "You know what you wanted & boy you got her" ♡ Summary: Based on ✩This✩ big brained ask from @carmenberzattosgf ♡ W/C: 9.4K ♡ Posted Date: 06/11/2024 ♡ A/N: Omg I had so much fucking fun writing this you have no idea!!! I hope this satisfies your virgin carmy tooth my dirty olive martini! Also, New look for this one shot how are we feeling yall? ♡ Warnings for BTC: SMUT SMUT SMUT, Characters are 18+, High school relationship, childhood best friend trope, virgin!carmy, Fem!/AFAB!Reader, R has long hair, No use of Y/N (r goes by childhood nickname 'squish'

♡ 𝐌𝐲 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡ ➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐠𝐞 ♡ ➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡ ➵ 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 ♡

2010

You had thought about this year at least monthly since … well - kindergarten. This was your year. 

Graduation year. 

4 decent years of high school were coming to a close. You were freshly 18 as of last week, and felt exactly the same. You actually felt worse now that your birthday had passed you by. Why? Oh. Virginity. Still having one, that thing. 

As far as you knew, all of your friends had lost theirs by now, well - you weren’t so sure. You’d think asking your longest time friend if they were also holding onto their precious dire to get rid of virginity cards as well would be easy, right? 

Wrong. Very wrong. 

This was because your bestest longest term friend? You’d been concealing a massive crush on him since sophomore year. Well, actually - technically 7th grade, when he saved your volcano from prematurely erupting by pouring borax in the hole from his project about borax crystallization after the nastiest girl in the grade dumped the cup of vinegar in it while you weren’t looking so it would explode prematurely while the teacher wasn’t watching and you’d get zero credit. 

But, you told yourself that he was just a really nice person like his sister who had babysat you a few times, so he’d probably heard about you from her and was simply being friendly. Nevertheless, the interaction made you fast friends. 

What sealed the deal to you being so close, though, was when a few days later one of the mean boys in the grade tried to make Carmy his newest victim by continually throwing pencils at the back of his head. He did this every class to someone new, and always while the teacher wasn’t looking. 

You had waited just until half a second before the pencil flew and  “Mrs.Harrison!” urgently left your lips, she quickly looked up, just in time to see the moron let the pencil go, it hit the back of Carmys head, and for Carmy send him a silent glare. 

“Jared! That’s a week of detention. It has been you with those pencils. I’m calling home too- this disruptive behavior is unacceptable!” She was so focused on writing out detention slips that she didn’t even remember you had grabbed her attention. Carmy gave you one of his shy close-mouthed smiles that made his adorable dimples show before going back to drawing some pair of cargo jean looking things on the inside of his notebook cover. 

This sealed your friendship because you had shown him your loyalty. You have my back, I have yours was always the mentality between you two. By the time you got to high school, you and Carmy were attached at the hip. In middle school, specifically in eighth grade, people would tease you two that you were dating. 

The both of you were late bloomers and hadn’t even thought about Carmy or anyone in that way yet, but by sophomore year of high school the teasing really hit home because you did have a crush on him but thought you were absolutely sure he could never like you back, that he saw you as a sister. 

Until one fateful June afternoon. 

You were laid on your full sized bed together in your childhood bedroom, flicking through a J-14 magazine to get all the latest gossip on the celebrities you follow when you settle on the Ask Sabrina page, a forum where a girl answers dating and love questions. 

Dear Sabrina, 

I was wondering - what age should you have your first kiss, French kiss, lose your virginity etc? I’m already 16 and I haven’t had sex yet, I had my first kiss at 14 and my first French kiss this year. But I feel like such a loser cause all my friends are having sex, and say it’s so much fun!! Is it really worth the hype? 

Jane from California

You roll your eyes. 16 and already had her first French kiss. She was 2 years ahead of you in that sense. You hadn’t had sex yet, either. You hadn’t really kissed a boy for real either. The only kiss you’d had to date was -

Ew! 

You had to rectify this situation immediately. The only kiss you’d had to date was Billy Guerrero? In fifth grade?! You couldn’t believe yourself. You’d let time slip away, you’d let your real first kiss prime time slip away. What guy is gonna want a girl at college who was gonna want to date a girl who can’t even kiss properly! You’d bet Carmy had kissed girls, hell he’d probably had sex already. With who you weren’t sure because the only person Carmy opened his mouth to give more then a muttered yes or no were you, and his direct family. 

Maybe it was with Claire down the street, she always seemed to you to be sweet on him. He would probably be better for him, anyway. If Mikey wasn’t teasing him about her being his girlfriend, he was teasing about you being his girlfriend. Each time he brought it up Carmy would go red as a tomato and tell him to shut up, and if Richie was around it would get even worse. 

You wondered if he liked it, why he didn’t tell you about it - wait - why hadn’t the two of you talked about sex? It wasn’t until this moment you’d realized you’d never breached the topic. You laid your magazine on your chest, flicking the cover of Carmys Spider-Man comic with your nail to get his attention from your position sprawled out over his thighs as your pillow. 

“Mm” he hums in response, blue eyes continuing to move across the page. That was something you always loved about Carmy, those large round blue eyes. You loved to tease him that he looked like Flik from bugs life. You’d done very intense studying of those eyes from your many intense staring contests over the summer breaks you two spent together, he would cheat to win, of course - but you liked having an excuse to look at his eyes, so you didn’t mind. 

“What was your first kiss like?” You test the waters. Without even realizing what you had done, he mirrored you and laid his open comic on his chest to hold his page so he could give you his full attention. 

“First kiss?” He repeats. You couldn’t believe how much better his stutter had gotten over last summer. He had told you he wanted it gone or at least as gone as he could get it by the time you went off to college, so the two of you checked out all the speech pathology books the library had to offer and got to work every day. It was hard work, but after about a month he got the hang of it. 

“Very first kiss, well - real kiss” you clarify and by nature he brushed away your bangs that had fallen in front of your eyes from the woosh of air that came from putting his comic down. 

“Uh- w-wh-“ he stops himself, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, focusing really hard on what he was trying to say and a few seconds later he tries again “what’s a real kiss? Like a kiss that’s not just the back of my hand?” He joked and you snorted a chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully. 

“Yes dummy like- like a real kiss on a date or something or like…I dunno have you ever had a girlfriend? Well, before you met me? Would a 6th grade girlfriend count?” You thought out loud. You hadn’t ever had a boyfriend before, and Carmy hadn’t said he was dating anyone and spent all of his time with you that wasn’t spent at home or at school, so you could safely assume he hadn’t, but just wanted to be sure. 

“n-no- no girlfriend uh- why do you ask?” He cleared his throat that way Richie did after he asked a question he knew was stupid and you shrugged a bit 

“So who have you kissed? Claire?” You ask and those big blue eyes go wide as saucers as he shakes his head no like a bobble head 

“What - what?! W-why why would you think I kissed Claire? Claire- Claire Dunlap? from down the street?” He clarified, his cheeks heating up

“Woah! Do you have a crush on her?” You sat up and he groaned, rubbing over his face dramatically. 

“Squiiish. Not you too” he groaned dramatically. “No! I don’t like Claire! Actually to be f-fucking honest everyone always trying to cram her down my throat makes me hate her!” He huffed 

“Well then who have you kissed! A real kiss!?” You question with a laugh, unsure why he was being so secretive over something so small. The two of you could vote in the next election for Christ sake, a kiss shouldn’t be this big of a deal. 

“No one!” He blurts, the heat from his cheeks bleeding up to the tips of his ears and down his neck and collarbones. “There. Ok! No one and I sure as fuck didn’t kiss Claire Dunlap.” He crossed his arms, averting your gaze. You were sat there, just staring. You were frankly trying to absorb that, it was surprising to you with such a stud of an older brother - he hadn’t gotten around. 

“Me either” you said after a few beats of silence and his eyes quickly found yours again, mouth dropping slightly and he blinked a few times, the way that told you he was trying to digest what you were saying. 

“Y-you haven’t kissed Claire-“

“Anyone” you interrupted. His jaw dropped like a trout as he stared at you in shock and you grabbed your magazine, rolling it up and bonking him on the head with it.  “Don’t look at me like that! You haven’t kissed anyone either! I technically have you beat because I kissed Billy G. at recess in fifth grade once even though it was just like… a mom kiss you know like a- like” you demonstrate a little puckery peck of your lips. 

His eyes narrowed with jealousy and you smiled proudly “Squish, one - Bear? Zero” that was one thing about you two, you were always in a competition of some kind. Who could run farther, who could read a book faster, who could get their homework done first, you never realized it translated into other things too, and that neither of you were in the lead. 

“I bet I’m better then you at kissing even though I haven’t done it I’ve practiced more so I’m good when it’s time for me to show my skill” he smirked, picking up his comic again. You scoffed 

“Practice? On what, your bathroom mirror? It doesn’t count if it’s not a person, dummy.” You said and he shrugged 

“Find out” he said casually, eyes not tearing up from the page. Now it was your cheeks that felt like they were on fire. Find out?! Find out what, does he even realize what he’s offering you right now?! 

“Find out? What- you want to kiss me?” You said and he smirked a bit, dimples showing and his eyes flick back to yours. 

“It’s you who wants to kiss me. I told you I’m a better kisser then you, so, if you don’t believe me why don’t you come find out.” He mused and went right back to reading. You sat there for a few moments, dumbfounded. You had a crush on Carmy, but it was only founded when you weren’t together - well, that was a lie, you still thought about kissing him while you were with him but would scold yourself for it that it was weird because he’s your best friend and it’s wrong to think of him that way. 

But now he was just offering like it was his apple he didn’t want at lunch.  

“French or regular?” You ask, trying to play it cool and the astonished look on his face led you to cackle, shoving his shoulder “what?! Stop looking at me like that weirdo!” You said and he smiled, shaking his head and doing one of those slow Carmy blinks as he sighs, a little smirk on his lips. He always reminded you of Natalie when he did that, he must have gotten it from her. 

“You want me to stick my tongue in your mouth?” He mused and you nod

“I actually think it goes both ways- and with 0 practice I’d win. Sure of it.” You said cockily and shrugged a bit. He snorts a chuckle

“And how do we determine a winner?” He asked, shutting his comic and resting it on the nightstand next to your bed like he was genuinely weighing the offer in his mind. 

You were quiet for a few moments, looking at him carefully - and it seemed like he was serious as you were, so you said “It’s supposed to feel good, right? So…whoever like..moans first?” 

“Uh o-okay- okay sure um.” He swallowed thickly, wiping his hands on his jeans that you assumed were clammy now how they got when he was nervous. “So- how- how do you wanna like- sit,” he asked. Fuck. You were just now realizing you weren’t actually sure. Your heart was thumping so hard in your chest, blood was roaring in your ears. This was all going so fast - you were going to do it. You were going to kiss your crush. 

“Uh-“ you said stupidly, tucking your hair behind your ears and digging your chapstick out of your pocket, cause guys like soft cherry flavored lips, right? If he was kissing you for a stupid competition you may as well make it good. “Yeah um. I think, maybe criss cross? Right? Like how we would play sailer by the sea” you crossed your legs and sat in front of him 

“We should play later I’ve been practicing with nat - I’m totally gonna beat you” he crossed his legs, and you moved in closer so your knees were touching but your faces were still about 2 feet apart, too big a distance for a kiss. “Also- we’re gonna need to be closer” he said plainly. You snorted a laugh,

“Yes - we can play. How am I supposed to get closer?” You asked, and in one fluid motion he stuck his hands under your calves, and uncrossed your legs before dragging you forward quickly and wrapping your legs around his waist. You could feel his breath. 

“There” he looks at you, eyes fanning from your eyes to your lips and back again. “That’s ok, right?” The low softness of his voice, mixed with the action of him just taking control how he did - it sent this feeling down to your core that felt so good. Like a pleasureful pulsing heartbeat, the only time you got that feeling was when you were alone in bed at night squeezing your thighs together thinking about Carmy. 

“Mmhmm” you hummed, unsure what to do with your hands so you settled for placing them on your thighs. “So- uh- ok. I guess um..let’s get started?” Your voice was small, nervous. A definite switch of roles for the two of you. You weren’t sure if this was normal, but you assumed it was for Carmy. 

He was being so normal about it, the same normal he was when you got your period at his house - he just went to Natalie’s bathroom, and came back to the guest bathroom with a few pads and tampons for you, as well as feminine wipes - normal. Not weird, like this happens every day for him. Like - periods (or in this case) sex isn’t the most embarrassing thing to teen life. His chill demeanor told you that he strictly saw it as a platonic friendly competition, so why do your panties feel sticky all the sudden?

“It’s ok- we don’t have to-“ he’s interrupted by your lips on his, 

Now or never, right? 

It was warm, a little messy at first, you found out quickly you should close your eyes since he closed his and once you did it was much easier to just focus on the sensation. His lips were soft, he tasted like the bowl of trix cereal he must have had before he came over. The way his lips moved with yours was… gentle, sweet, unhurried- you found yourself chasing them when he pulled away slightly and that caused you to open your eyes 

“You-“ he huffs a small chuckle “you have t’kiss back, Squish. S’like i’m kissing a wall here” he said. You took a shaky breath, not even realizing you were just sat there like a dead fish, unmoving, in awe that his lips were really on yours. If you hadn’t just finished your period a week ago you’d be scrambling to the bathroom to see what was going on because you were gushing. 

“Uh- sorry- sorry. I was just warming up” you clear your throat awkwardly, fingers tapping on your thighs nervously “lets try again” you said, leaning in and additionally mashing your nose with his “ow- oh- gosh, sorry” you giggle and he followed suit 

“S’not your fault my beak is getting in the way” he joked, gently tilting your face and bringing his lips back to yours. You got the message this time, moving your lips with his and wow. It felt…good. That heartbeat right above your cunt had never pulsed so hard before, it nearly hurt and you weren’t sure what to do about it with him right there. 

You’d usually use the firm corner of one of your throw pillows you kept on your bed when this uncomfortable sensation happened, thinking of exactly this - kissing Carmy - and hump it, and hump it, and hump it, until you were frustrated to tears because you still felt like you weren’t finished. That the feeling would never go away unless you stopped thinking about Carmy like that - but it was addictive, and you couldn’t help but think you were chasing something. 

It all elevated when you felt his tongue on your bottom lip, it was almost like the sensation in your core was beginning to travel throughout your entire body and that had never happened before. It went from just that strong pulsing in your cunt, travelling to a tightness that was winding up in your stomach, your breasts felt good - as strange as that thought was, the only time you remembered they were there was when they were sore because your period was coming, so the warm gushy feeling in your chest and the pangs of pleasure that were coursing through you from the simple swipe of his tongue was something to be revered.

From there, it was like you were following a script you hadn’t even known you’d memorized. Your hands found his shoulders, before travelling to the back of his neck and rubbing over the little curls at the base. You swipe your tongue over his, fingers sprawling over the back of his head to pull him in closer. You didn’t know what came over you, but you deepened the kiss, and he accepted. His hands found the back of your waist, squeezing gently and trailing up your sides, stopping hard below your breasts.

You pulled away, looking at him. If it was any other day, he’d have thought you were initiating a staring contest, but the blown-out look in your eyes and small pants leaving your lips reminded him of when their family cat had a little too much catnip and started climbing the screen doors, wild. His eyes nearly fell out of his head when the next question left your lips 

“Have you had sex before?” your voice was breathy, if you had known better you’d have called it for what it was - horny. The only thing on your mind was Carmy, not how your mom would be home any minute and you forgot to take out the chicken for dinner, not how it probably isn’t a normal thing for best friends or any friends really, to kiss. But you and Carmy hadn’t really ever been ‘normal’ friends. 

“Uhhh” he tried to find his words. He looked so pretty. His cheeks were the pretty flush pink you loved on him so much, it suited him. His lips were swollen and kiss bitten and red. You realized that the glossiness on them was a mixture of your salivas and that brought a burst of that delicious warmth to your chest. “N-no, haven’t have you- I mean- can you have sex without kissing?” he wondered out loud.

“I don’t want to leave high school a virgin” you blurt out. It was half true, you did feel a bit like a loser, even though you could always lie and tell people you had done it even if you hadn’t. It also felt like the one opportunity was presenting itself for you to have sex with your childhood crush and if he agreed, then a win is a win in your book.

“Alright and- and uh” he sits back on the headboard, huffing a chuckle and rubbing over his mouth as he thought, staring up at the ceiling to try and get a gauge on what he was about to say. It was one of the habits he’d picked up during all of your speech practice together, it was cute, almost like he was stopping the words from falling out of his mouth before he was ready to say them so it didn’t come out all jumbly and stuttered. “And you wan’t help with this- i’m assuming you see it as a problem? Thats why you brought it up, right? You want help with that…issue” he mused. 

Suddenly, you felt really, really shy. Shy, stupid, flustered, any synonym for embarrassed and feeling like a complete and utter moron. “I shouldn’t have said anything - i’m sorry, uh- you win” You got up, going over to your dresser and digging out your after-school clothes to change since you were in jeans still. Why the hell would you say that? What, was he gonna just offer to have sex with y-

“I-I mean- I don’t want to, either. I just uh- haven’t… y’know - met anyone who I trusted enough to do it with. But- it- it felt good… the kiss? So, if you wanted we could um..cause- cause I trust you, I trust you more then like…anyone- so, yeah- I-I mean it’s like- like a favor right? You uh…scratch my back- er whatever the saying is- if- if you want to” you looked back at him to see him rambling with his gaze locked on the floor, clearly feeling as stupid and embarrassed as you feel. 

Holy shit, this may actually happen. 

“Yeah- yeah” you agree, mulling it over in your mind. He’s right, this shouldn’t change your friendship, because from what you’d heard - losing said virginity wasnt fun, it was weird, uncomfortable, and a little gross sometimes, so it was almost like you two could get the awkward first time part out of the way together so you could both hit the ground running in terms of dating and hooking up when it came to college, cause that's what college was supposed to be all about, right? Finding the love of your life?

“Sure- Uh-” you swallow thickly and toss him one of the many pairs of sweatpants he kept in your dresser for when he slept over as well as a fresh t-shirt and grab yourself a clean pair of panties from your top drawer since although the awkwardness had taken away that dull needy ache, you were still uncomfortably wet and had to get yourself cleaned up and changed. “How about Friday? My parents have their date night so- you could come over after school and we can um…do it?” you ask and he nodded quickly, grabbing the sweatpants and sweatshirt.

“Yeah- perfect, that’s - mmhmm” he swallowed hard, cheeks bright red. You would totally be making fun of him right now if you weren’t absolutely sure you looked just as flustered, the two of you sharing at eachother in silence like a pair of deer in headlights. 

“I’m gonna go change” you said and left the room, closing the bathroom door behind you and sighing deeply to yourself, leaning against the door. 

And so it was set. 

Carmy had exactly 3 days to study up on this topic other than sophomore health class he knew absolutely nothing about. Well- he had found one of Michaels Playboy magazines before when he was 14, it was the first time he popped a boner and it freaked him out so bad since his father wasn’t very present and Mike hadn’t given him the talk yet. It was a solid 2 months of worrying that he had some weird dick cancer because he got hard every time he peeked through said porn-mag before he asked Mike about it, and he still hasn’t lived down the teasing. Thank god Mike kept his word on not telling Richie.

The moment he left your house that day it was straight to the Chicago public library. 3 books, 3 days. He was going to do his homework on this, because he was going to win the game he knew was inevitably pun intended coming his way. It was going to become a competition, and he knew the name of the game in sex was an orgasm, he knew that much at least, thank god. 

The 3 titles he’d settled on, 

Sex For Dummies ; He’d figured that should speak for itself, it sounded to him like the beginners guide to fucking. He wondered why every teen didn’t get a copy of this book, he’d heard guys talking about how sometimes girls are really bad in bed - so if everyone got one, like the dictionaries they all got in elementary school - he thought their lives would probably be made easier in that department.

She Comes First; and boy, was that a read. He stayed up so late Wednesday night reading it that you had to wake him in homeroom when the bell rang to go to first period. He didn’t know there were so many things to know about a vagina, but he was confident now he probably knew more then any guy in the school about pussys and what gets them going at least on paper once he read all 350 pages in one day.

He comes next; It made alot of sense. This was the breaziest read for him, he sat on the L after school reading it on the ride home. Of course, the front was covered in a brown paper bag he’d taped to it so no one could tell what he was reading, he wasn't a pervert! He was glad he read she comes first, first, because he’d learned that girls can cum more then once, and that when they do - it gets better each time. He also learned that the clit is the best part to touch, and that it actually has like- a tail? Or something? Inside that you can mess with too, and it feels super good for the girl. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to find something like that with his dick, but he guessed he’d figure it out.

The day was finally here. You had been thinking about it all week long. The prep you were doing was very different then the prep he was. You were making sure your entire body was smooth, plucking your eyebrows, waxing your upper lip, whitening your teeth, shaving your big toe. Literally, anything and everything grooming. You had put on a lacy pink thong that you’d gotten at the mall a year or so ago in preparation for the night you finally did this, but after observing yourself in the mirror you felt insecure about it. It was just Carmy, he wasn’t into you, it would be weird if you tried to be sexy, right? Like you were trying to seduce him or something? So you settled on some plain grey panties, instead, and a black bra. 

You heard a knock at the door right at 7. Exactly on time, per usual. Your parents had left for their date 20 minutes ago, so it was perfect timing. When you opened the door, you heart may as well have melted and poured out of your ass to see Carmy standing there with a bundle of red roses. “Hey- uh- so - got you these” he thrust them in your direction. They were already cut, and thornless, ready to be plopped in a vase. You could see a little bandage on the pinky finger of his non-dominant hand that wasn’t there at school today, he must have pricked himself while he was trimming them up. 

“Y’get a girl flowers, you trim em’ up, n’for the roses gotta take the thorns off, eh’? Don’t wan’t t’hurt ylady do you? And you trim ‘em cause girls like it, makes em’ all even n’shit. N’it Makes em’ live longer too. Y’givin a gift not a chore heard? Flowers need to be able to be dropped in a vase and that's it, otherwise y’re a prick f’givin’ y’r lady a job t’do” Mikey explained as he snipped the thorns off of the roses he’d gotten for his date. The conversation stuck with Carmy all these years, he promised himself one day he’d put the advice to use.

“Oh- wow - Bear, these are like -” you leaned in, smelling them deeply, the sweet floral sense filling your nose “Wow- this is so sweet of you, you didn’t have to” you stepped back and opened the door wider. He followed you in, shutting the door behind him like usual.

“Mikey says it’s what y’do I guess, so - expect flowers from guys you do this with” he nudged you with his shoulder playfully. The action made your heart flutter but also stomach sink , heavy with nerves. Right. He’s here to just get something over with, like he was probably expecting you to be and the flowers were just a result of him wanting to do things right and not because he had any real, tangible feelings for you other than platonic.

“Mmm, will do. Thanks- I’m gonna go get these in some water, you can get settled” you told him and headed into the kitchen to find a vase. When you came back to the room his hoodie was neatly folded and sitting on your desk, his shoes tucked away beneath it and there was a… towel? On your bed? 

“Uh-” you set the vase of flowers on your dresser 

“Right- uh- so the towel, they say in the books for your first time, sometimes girls will bleed a little? Or- or if I do it right things can get really wet, so…just trying to be proactive I didn’t wanna make a huge mess y’know?” he explained while staring at the towel and rubbing the back of his neck nervously how he did, heat creeping across the bridge of his nose and onto his cheeks.

“You…studied?” you smile a bit at the idea. You wondered how he did so, did he just watch porn?! You had heard from girls with boyfriends that watch porn - the sex was usually bad, and that they went way to hard and fast. You hoped it wasn’t that.

“Yeah I read some stuff.. How else will I know what the fuck m’doin?” he watched you as you sat down on top of the towel, assuming that was the spot he meant for you. 

“Uh- yea…yeah. Ok, well thanks- I guess I should have studied, too. Didn’t even think about it- my legs are soft, though. And I shaved my - um- yeah.” you said, voice getting meeker and smaller by the end. The two of you were never like this, it was usually constant banter and comfortable silence. Awkwardness wasnt something the two of you experienced together up until now.

“Thank you- you didn’t have to it’s…it’s just hair. But um…go pee, before we get started- you should pee.” he sat down on the bed in front of you. You looked at him confused, brows furrowing together but before you could ask he added “In the books, they said for girls - it can feel like…like you need to pee, right before the good part if I do it right. So, if I do do it right- I want you to be able to finish instead of worrying if you’ll pee on me, so I figured if you go pee now then-” you held your hand up, shaking your head as you stood.

“No further info needed” you said as you padded off to the bathroom. Even though the shower you had taken not even an hour prior to him coming over was so thorough made you fresh as the day you were born you still wiped up with babywipes before coming back to see 2 granola bars and 2 bottles of water on the nightstand. “Are you planning on making me pass out or something?” you joked, sitting back on the towel like before. 

He chuckled a bit “Well if i’m that good my first time it’ll be a record or something I bet” he rubbed his forearm nervously “So um..should we kiss? Like last time?” he asked, averting your gaze. You didn’t know this, but he thought he was genuinely about to have a heart attack, and the only reason he was continuing instead of asking you to call an ambulance was because if he was to die in your bed while making out because of the sheer excitement that came with the potential of you touching his dick, he would have died happy. 

The question being asked in that soft, sweet tone of his- syrupy and honest, made your stomach flip- and there was a pang of warmth to your heat that made your heart jump to your throat with anticipation. You couldn’t answer, instead, you just nodded, not breaking his gaze. Jesus fucking Christ those eyes. You had only seen the ocean once, in Hawaii on a vacation. His eyes made you think of the waters in Maui, that was how blue. You could get lost in them like they were the ocean, they often rendered you speechless, like he could peer into your soul. “Okay” he said gently.

This time, the kisses started small. He gently pecked the corner of your lips, before you remembered that yes you had a job to do here as well, and you put your hand gently on the side of his cheek, barely touching him. He could feel you shaking, so he put his hand over yours, gently squeezing your four fingers as his lips captured yours in a tender, affectionate kiss. The feeling was so…different then last time. This time felt much more purposeful, and not in the get it over with way, in the i’ve been meaning to do this, way.

Honestly, the feeling made you dizzy. Not dizzy in the kind of way that immediately made you want to throw up, -

 (Carmy learned you got very motion sick very quick at your 15th birthday party when he, Mike, Natalie, and Richie were teaching you how to play dead-man on the trampoline and within 10 seconds of being bounced with your eyes closed by the 4 of them you were scrambling to throw up a mix of cake and pasta) 

- but dizzy in the way that you weren't forming any kind of memory of the encounter, and you also weren’t sure what you were doing - but you came to with your shirt off, dry humping your best friend as he laid sprawled over your floral duvet panting into each others mouths as your childhood teddybear watched the two of you manhandle eachother, he honestly looked like he was judging, but you mentally told him to fuck off.

“Yeah-” he breathed, his cheeks were a pretty pink, his pupils “I-I think that was um…better then last time. Do you feel hot? I feel hot” he admitted, swallowing hard as you both caught your breath. You looked down and oh, yeah - he's still fully dressed. You were still mostly dressed, too. Well, your shirt - you hadn’t a clue where it went, but your fluffy pajama pants were still suffocating your thighs and holy shit..

He is hard as a rock against your clothed pussy right now. 

You look back up at him, and nod in agreement. “Feels like - wow- yeah. Uh- m’hot” you got up and saw the evidence of his arousal straining against his jeans. “Uh- so…” you trail off 

“I think i’m supposed to do that part” he sat up, taking his shirt off in that silly boyish way with one fluid motion pulling it up over the back of his head, his sandy blonde hair becoming ruffled by the action. You look over his chest, not even bothering to not stare. That was the point of this whole thing right, to experience? In turn, he crossed his arms shyly, to be expected. Carmy had been open about his upset that he got more of his moms genes then his dads. He was short, softer-jawed, smaller-lipped, and bigger-eyed, the only thing he got was the big Italian Berzatto nose. 

His brother was tall, much broader, was able to grow a full face of stubble by 17. Carmy was still patchy, but he was proud of his little patch of curly brown hair in the middle of his chest. Mike kept telling him he would ‘grow like a weed’ as soon as he turned 20, he didn’t believe it, though. 

“Oh- yea? Thats what they said in your sex books” you teased and stepped forward, between his spread thighs, likely to give his dick breathing room. His hands found your hips as he snorted a chuckle 

“Shut up” he smiled and carefully pulled down the waistband of your pajama bottoms. “I did read…” he helped you step out of them, hands trailing up the backs of your now bare thighs. The action made goosebumps appear on your flesh, nearly made you shiver. “That you are supposed to cum first, it’s like…a warm up.” he explained, looking up at you as he made his way to hold your hips again. You realized quickly, that his hands were also trembling, and he kept stroking and petting you hoping you wouldn’t notice as much. 

Your panties had a dark spot on them that he became fixated on momentarily, his tongue darting out to lick his lips. You felt that twitching at his words, your hole clenching around absolutely nothing. You weren’t sure you could remember what color the sky was if someone asked at that moment, you were so focused on Carmy, it was like you two and this bedroom were the only things in the universe. “I haven’t been able to do it, I don’t think you’ll be able to - but you can try. How do you want to do this should I just lay down and I dunno… you stick it in? I got 3 boxes of condoms, different kinds just in case” you went to open your nightstand and he stopped you, grabbing your hand. 

He chuckled a bit, you took it as a you don’t know what you’re doing, let me explain kind of laugh, but really he was just wondering how the following words came out of his mouth “I’m supposed to eat your pussy, could I try?” 

You swore your knees went weak. Carmen, Carmen Berzatto wanted to go down on you. Thank god you made sure that department was taken care of so well in preparation. “Uhhh- alright” you sat down on the towel, twiddling your fingers nervously “So- wow uh” you giggle nervously, covering your mouth with your hand. 

“Your um..you look pretty, by the way” he said while looking at the duvet. He sounded as nervous as he was when he said that. He had thought you looked pretty from the moment he walked through the door, but was too nervous until you were both literally almost naked to say it. You could hardly believe it, because you did your best to not put in a ton of effort. Sure, you were very well groomed, but you didnt like - dress up or put makeup on or do your hair how you would have wanted, you were in regular bra and panties, and pajamas when he walked in. You were also pretty sure that you had a zit growing on your chin and really hoped he hadn’t noticed.

But, that was exactly why he thought you looked so pretty. He loved that you let him have you like this, well - in both senses. He felt so lucky to be able to see you comfortable, in your element. “Thanks, dork, so do you get the honors of taking my panties too?” you teased. That was the difference between you, when you got nervous you cracked jokes and made fun of him to ease the tension in your own mind  - when he got nervous he often got lost in the tension of his own mind causing him to go quiet. 

“I do actually, says the book- so lay down” he shoots back in the same teasing tone, a small smile gracing his lips once again. You, and his brother were the only 2 that could pull him out of his head so fast, and so easily. You shook your head, laying back on the pillows he’d set up and spreading your legs, laying your feet flat on the bed. He sat in front of you, running a hand up your leg and feeling over the soft, smooth skin. “You are really soft” he muttered, almost to himself, feeling up your thigh “Do you mind if I kiss you, here?” he asked gently, running a palm over the inner of your thigh. No one had ever touched you there, so the action made you shiver since the area was surprisingly sensitive.

“Sure” you said quietly, watching his every move with wide, curious eyes. You were sure the wet spot on your panties had grown tremendously due to the way you felt dripping down the curve of your ass, thank god for that towel when they come off or my sheets would probably soak through by the end of this. He started at your ankle, leaving gentle pecks and putting your manicured foot on his shoulder as he continued his journey of kissing up your shin, over your knee, not leaving a single part unkissed. If this is what sex was about, you totally got why all your friends were raving about it, because you were being driven absolutely wild and it hadn’t even really started yet. 

He kissed up to your thigh, laying down in between your legs. His forearms were wrapped around the plush of your thighs, hugging them as he left kisses over the waistband of your panties. The action made your stomach muscles clench at how good he was making you feel. You needed something to touch you, though. That was the only thing on your mind, but before you could ask - he beat you to it. “Would you be ok with me kissing your middle here?” his voice was husky, breathy. He was gripping your thighs so his hands wouldn't shake, he was fucking panting like he just ran the mile in P.E. and he wasn’t sure why. 

His mouth was watering at the smell of you, he had to fucking swallow a mouthful of spit before he could say something. He felt like a fucking starved animal, but he was gathering every polite, gentlemanly fiber of his being to remain kind, gentle. “Please do” you said and without hesitation, he was essentially making out with your cunt through your panties. The sight was filthy, but so sexy it was making your head spin. 

Whines and moans were leaving your throat you weren’t even aware of as you watch him, slack jawed and sucking at the fabric of your panties, grunting and moaning at the flavor. “T-take em off…please-” you weren’t sure where the bedroom voice that came out of you came from, but he seemed to like it at the way his eyes rolled and fluttered shut at the way you were begging for him to eat you out. 

He sat up just enough to get your panties pulled off, shoving them in the back pocket of his jeans before laying back down and resuming his position. “Taste so, so good, squish, better than I imagined” he said before kissing your mound. The wet clicking sound of your pussy clenching at his words made heat rush your cheeks in embarrassment, but it made his dick twitch against his jeans. “Can I kiss your clit?” he asked, the casualness of his tone made your head fall back on the pillow, covering your face with embarrassed hands at the vulgarity of it all.

“Go ahead, Bear” you said, smile lacing your voice. 

“I liked it when you were lookin’ at me, just so you know” he said, spreading you out with his fingers and looking for just a moment, he found it easily as it had grown nearly twice it’s size, peeking out of its hood. He attached his lips to it, just like the book he’d read said to do, and lightly sucked, before flicking his tongue lightly over it. Your hand clamps over your mouth to stifle the cry that left your throat, hips jerking and you grab his hair with your other hand, not even meaning to but tugging. 

This caused a moan to leave his throat, which in turn caused his lips to vibrate, and you looked down at him, vision hazy like a dream at the sensation. “God- oh god- feels so good Bear - wow- you’re so good at this” you said, breath heavy and jaw slack “uh-huh” you whine when he pads his tongue over your clit in wide, wet drags. The sounds his mouth was making as he sucked and kissed and lapped at your juices were absolute sin, the hottest shit you’d ever heard. 

“D’you like it more when I kiss your clit like I was doin’ or when I run my tongue on it like that?” he asked, sucking at your folds and nose nudging your clit as he waited for an answer. 

“Both - Both- everything feels good - you feel so good” you praised, pushing his bangs from his face. He smiled into you proudly, continuing to lick, and suck, and swirl his tongue. It had been a knot building for a while, and it had been about 30 minutes of him doing this, when you felt it. But, all the activities you’d been engaged in the conversation you had before you started slipped your mind. “Fuck- fuck - sorry- I gotta pee” you told him and tried to tug him off

“Y’dont, trust me, just trust me” he said determined, he had told himself before going into this that if he could make you cum, that it would be his prize because per the books he’d read one of the main complaints with women was that their male partners didn’t bother to be sure they finished, so if you never wanted to do this again - he’d pride himself internally forever on be the very first man to ever make you cum. 

You whined, back arching to the ceiling and hips dipping back into the bed. You didn’t want him to stop, so you weren’t sure why you were subconsciously trying to wiggle away. Your eyes had been closed for a few moments, and you felt a hand on your stomach, dancing fingers following it. You opened them to see him looking up at you, and his eyes flicker to his hand that was laying palm up on your belly before meeting your gaze again, in a silent ask for you to hold his hand. 

Without thinking, you did so, needing to be grounded in that moment. His thumb rubbed soothing strokes on the back of your hand as he built up the speed of his tongue, running it back and forth and up and down, flicking it, sucking on the sensitive nub until your brain turned to mush, and stars filled your vision. 

“Carmy Carmy- Oh shit- Yes” 

The grand finale only lasted about a minute or two, but by the end your thighs were shaking and you were gasping for breath. “Y’need to breathe, did you forget humans need oxygen to live?” he teased. You’d usually give him a light punch on the shoulder for that, but your whole body felt like warm jelly. 

“Shut up” you pant, looking down when you feel your clit twitching every few moments “I think you broke it its like.. Having a seizure or something” you said and you both burst into giggles. After a few moments of comfortable quiet you nudge him with your foot “Hey” he looks up at you “Its your turn now” you said and his brows raised

“Y-you don’t have t’do that, that was sex, so - congratulations we are both not virgins” he wiped his chin on the inside of his arm and sat up. You furrowed your brow

“No- I want to, I can make you cum, too ” you said, in your mind, it was a challenge - and when it came out of your mouth you realized how it sounded.

“Are you… asking me for permission to suck my dick?” he looked at you carefully. Shyly, you just nod. For whatever reason the nature of the room and this particular situation had the two of you acting out of traditional character roles, and he was the one being bold. “I want you to say it, then you can suck my dick” he said and stood up, unbuttoning his jeans and looking at you, brows raised expectantly as he waited for you to do as he asked.

Your throat suddenly felt dry, and you were starting to drip on that damn towel again. “Bear, I wanna suck your cock, Can I please?” you asked, tone innocent yet laced with a confident determination. His breath got caught in his throat, you swore his eyes could have fallen out. He didn’t know the word cock was apart of your very colorful vocabulary, he could have creamed his boxers with the way that the word rolled off of your tongue. 

“Sure” he said all too casual and tugged off his jeans, kicking them to the side. He laid down with you, like how he was while you were making out and you got on your knees tugging the waistband of his boxers until his cock came out and kissed his navel, the tip glistening with pre. 

“So-” you look at it, mouth watering at the sight. You had never done this, but you were sure that you knew one thing for sure, Carmy had a really pretty cock. You didn’t even realize you were staring until he said 

“S’not gonna suck itself, squish.” 

Oh, right, that was what you were doing. You grab it and he hissed “Fuckin’ hell- y’tryna rip it off? A little nicer, please” he chuckled a bit and you felt your cheeks heat, loosening your grip. 

“Sorry…” you said sheepishly, bending over and licking the tip of it, one slow drag from the back of your tongue to the tip of it, flicking your tongue over the slit your nose scrunching slightly at the new flavor. The action though, had Carm seeing stars and his toes curling.

“Hhhhnnn- oh my fucking god” he rasped. You figured that was a good thing, so you did it again “Squish I-” and again, “yes- fuck” and again, “Squish i-i’m gonna mmmmmffff” he whined, his cock twitching in your hand and leaking pre in a near continuous drip. You had no expirience, so you had no idea what this meant, or that he was trying to warn you. With 3 more slow sensual ball to tip licks, he was shooting cum all over your nose, upper lip, tongue, and chin. You squeak in surprise, sitting up and licking your lips. “Oh- hmmmmfuck- gimme a sec” he groaned, taking over for you and stroking himself, the remainder of his load shooting over his stomach. 

You watched in awe as he got himself off, back lightly arched and head fallen back, eyes closed as sexy pants and moans left his lips, along with soft “fuck - thank you, thank you” It was literally the hottest thing you had ever seen. He stopped after a moment, finding his breath and looking up at you, when he saw your milky white chin it both made his softening dick twitch and drew a chuckle from him. “When I keep saying im gonna do something and my dick is leaking like a broken sink it means open up er get out of the splash zone” he joked and grabbed his shirt, wiping your chin and neck. 

You laughed, laying back down and sighing contently. “Noted for next time” you said and he fixed his boxers, sitting up and stroking your calf. 

“There can be a next time? I mean…. I was hoping so that was really fun, felt really good” he said and you nod, smiling a bit 

“Sure, I mean, yeah… but it doesn’t mean we stop like- doing friend stuff, right?” you questioned. As much fun as you had, you could never give up something as treasured as your friendship for something as trivial as sex. 

“Oh, absolutely, who else is gonna wait w’me to get the new spiderman comics? And whos gonna feed you when your parents are out of town?” he teased and you rolled you eyes playfully, smiling and shaking your head. 

“Love you, dork” you bit your lip as he brought your other ankle to his lips. 

“Love y’too, Squish. Can I?” he looked down at your glistening core, before back at you. You bit your lip lightly, you weren’t sure if all men were this enthusiastic about eating pussy - but you were thankful that he was because your mind was still swimming from the last time and you had to experience it again. 

“Mmhmm” you spread your legs wider for him and he took your hand, lacing his fingers with yours as he got to work. You had found quickly that when you tell him something feels good or he’s doing a good job that it really got him going. It was cute, truly, how he loved being praised, so you made sure to do it whenever you could get something out that wasn't a babbled, coherent mess since the pleasure he was providing was causing your brain to short circuit.

An hour and a half and 3 orgasms later, after about 10 minutes of trying to catch your breath and cool down since you were boiling from the blood coursing your system like an F1 racetrack, you sit up. “M’gonna go get cleaned up” you said, going to get up on wobbly legs.

“No! No, I got it lay down don’worry” he said and made his way to the bathroom. He came back with babywipes and a wet wash cloth, as well as a dry clean towel to wipe off with after. He helped you wipe up and knowing your bedroom by heart, he went over to your dresser and got you a fresh set of panties and a tshirt, as well as a pair of his sweatpants so you could both be comfortable. After you had both gotten dressed, he laid in your bed after bringing the towel downstairs to the wash for you both as well as your dirty clothes, and you cuddled into his chest as you turned on your little tv, playing the next episode of Glee and he hands you a granola bar after being sure you had a few sips of water to replenish.

“To no longer being virgins, hm?” he smiled a bit, holding his bar up in a silly idea of a toast. You tap yours to his with a grin

“To no longer being virgins”

Part 2 here

[leona-hawthorne]

I HATE IT HERE / mattheo riddle

drabble

mattheo riddle x fem reader

summary: in which mattheo is an artist in a businessman’s world… inspired by ‘i hate it here’ by taylor swift!

warnings: swearing

words: 905

a/n: the tortured poets department is really just on repeat 24/7. dare i say… her saddest album? anyways, i love the headcanon that mattheo loves to draw so i thought this would be sweet <3

navigation mattheo riddle masterlist

Overhearing crunchy footsteps walking through the fallen autumn leaves, Mattheo snaps his sketchbook shut in fear that some random person would accidentally see his innermost thoughts. He’d been drawing by the Black Lake like he usually did when the voices in his head got too loud. Normally, no one else came out here to bother him, but it appeared that today was unlucky.

“Mattheo?” Oh, it was you who was coming to bother him. Guess his day wasn’t so unlucky, after all.

Taking a seat beside him with your back resting against the large tree behind you, you turn your head to look at him and place a kiss on his cheek.

“Did you just get bored or did something happen that made you feel the need to come out here?” You ask, looking down to watch as he mindlessly intertwines your fingers with his.

“How’d you even know I was here?”

“Answer my question.”

”Fine. Both.” He answers, his voice sounding strained as if he’d had the most tiring day of his life.

“You know I’m here to listen, right?” Trying to add to the reassurance, you give his hand a little squeeze. He sighs.

“I don’t wanna burden you. You’re always listening to my fucking problems.”

You can almost physically feel your heart clench at his words. Your sweet boy could never be a burden to you and frankly, it hurt to know that he thought of himself in that way.

“Talk to me.” Your tone is soft but there's something in your voice that makes it clear you aren’t leaving until he tells you everything.

“I just had a really fucking bad day.” He admits in a dismissive voice, as if it’s no big deal, like you shouldn’t worry about him. “And when I was in Potions, some people started talking about what they’re gonna do after they graduate.”

Your brows furrow and you nod in understanding as you let that sink in. It’s never been a secret that Mattheo didn’t exactly know what he was going to do after school ended, but you didn’t realize how badly that fact got to his head.

“That bothered you?” The answer to that question is obvious but still, there was an underlying need to ask it.

“Yes!” He snaps, his eyes burning with uncertainty and he takes a breath to calm himself before continuing. “It was all ‘I’m gonna be a Ministry worker,’ or ‘I’m gonna be an auror,’ or ‘teacher’ or whatever and I just… God, Y/n, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

You wanted nothing more than to help him, but you simply couldn’t. It’s not like anything you could say would miraculously make him realize what he wants to do for the rest of his life.

“Everything is so… dull and monochromatic. I don’t want to live in a world where I work 9 to 5 everyday in a cubicle. I just…. I hate it here.”

The mere possibility of living such a tight scheduled, boring, small life suffocated him every minute of everyday. He wanted more. He wanted to see the world, he wanted to be creative, he wanted to bring his dreams to fruition. He refused to become part of the system.

He was an artist at heart. Not many people knew that about him, but you did. He was lucky enough to be born with the ability to extract inspiration from anything in his sights. You, his friends, a song, an animal, architecture. Shit, even a random stranger he meets on the street could get the gears in his beautifully intricate mind to start turning.

Mattheo couldn't go ten minutes without feeling the urge to dump his thoughts onto a blank canvas. Talking wasn’t enough, he needed to create, he needed to use his hands.

His innovation is one of his best traits, one of your favorite things about him, and the idea of him ever giving it up was truly devastating. Taking a good while to think of what to say, you fidget around with his fingers in your hand.

“There’s so much out there, Mattheo. You don't need to conform to what the world wants you to do. I mean come on, you’ve never been one to follow the rules anyway.” You tell him.

“What am I gonna do?” He murmurs as he looks out at the lake, his voice filled with a deep sense of yearning.

“I don’t know. But I’ll be here to help you figure it out. I’ll be here with you for the rest of your life, if you’ll have me.” You whisper as he leans his head on your shoulder, his curls tickling the crook of your neck.

He scoffs, tightening his grip on your hand and snuggling his head deeper into your neck. “Are you stupid? Why would that even be a question? No dreams are worth living out if you’re not in them.”

“Good. ‘Cause you’re not getting rid of me.” You lean your head onto his. “I hate it here too but… It’s not so bad when you’re with me. Can I see what you were drawing?”

With an embarrassed blush flushing his cheeks, he hands you his sketchbook and you open up to the most recent page to find an extremely detailed illustration of… you.

Quick, quick

Tell me something awful

Like you are a poet

Trapped inside the body of a finance guy…

— Taylor Swift

[kaiijo]

Hello! I really like your fics and I saw your spotify event! I love Taylor Swift and Phoebe Bridges too so, since you've already wrote Lover (really sweet and cute), I'll ask for "Went looking for a creation myth" (I Know The End is my FAVORITE song) with Zoro. Thank you very much! 😊

I KNOW THE END — RORONOA ZORO

roronoa zoro + went looking for a creation myth content: fem! reader, fluff, part of the spotify wrapped event notes: i’m so sorry this is so late! i hope you like it <3

as a pirate, there are few days you get to just relax and explore places you visit, especially given the particularly high bounty of yours and the rest of the strawhats. you struck gold when you docked in a small town that was amenable to pirate-visitors and very opposed to marine presence. 

you, nami, and robin are lounging on some beach chairs the locals lent you. while robin’s deep in her newest book, one that’s bigger and thicker than her last one, you and nami watch as usopp, luffy, and zoro wrestle at the shoreline. usopp manages to get an upper hand on zoro, springing onto his back and covering his eyes. “now, luffy!” usopp yells and luffy’s launching himself towards the two. they all collapse, usopp and luffy laughing raucously and zoro grumbling and cursing beneath them. 

“hello to the most beautiful women in the world,” sanji says as he approaches, balancing a tray of iced drinks. “care for refreshers? hibiscus and honey iced tea.” the drinks are a rich fuschia with a lemon at the rim and the sight makes your mouth water.

“thanks, sanji.” you take a drink and pass another to nami while sanji circles your cluster of chairs to get to robin, who doesn’t even look up as she flips a page and takes a glass. 

“oi, lovecook, do we get anything?” zoro saunters up the dune, followed by luffy and usopp. 

“no.”

zoro scowls before turning to you. “let me have a sip.”

“no!” you say, drawing your glass close to your chest. you can feel the condensation gathering at your fingertips. “get your own!”

“curly brows won’t give me one,” zoro says. “what’s the big deal, just let me have some of yours?”

“no, you always say you’ll only have a little and then glug down half!”

“isn’t a perk of a being in a relationship sharing things with your partner?’

you snort, “please, you’re the biggest hog of us all.” zoro glowers and you sigh, “fine, you big baby.” you hold out your drink and he goes to take it when you jerk your arm back. 

“what now?” he asks.

“one condition.”

“what?”

you grin brightly, tapping your cheek. “a sip for a kiss.”

“you’re impossible,” he says, cheeks flushing but he leans down anyway and pecks your cheek. your own cheeks are warm and you’re not sure it’s from the sun. 

you let him take a few sips of your drink before you say, “that’s enough, babe.”

“what? it was barely a drop! just a little more.”

“that wasn’t meant for you, mosshead!” sanji says, snatching the glass from him. he looks into the nearly empty cup and scowls at zoro before turning to you apologetically. “don’t worry, i’ll go whip up another, pretty.”

“thanks, sanji.”

“don’t call my girlfriend ‘pretty.’”

“don’t tell me what to do!”

“i’ll say whatever i want to you!”

you’re not surprised as you watch sanji aim a kick at zoro, your boyfriend immediately parrying. as they start kicking up sand, nami shouts, “ugh, can you guys do this somewhere else?” to their credit, they move their fight elsewhere (before nami has the chance to throw her discarded sandal at them).

she leans back in her chair and groans, “i don’t know how you put up with him sometimes.”

“patience,” you reply and she snorts. 

“i don’t even remember how you two got together,” she says. “it was just like one day you were both single and then the next day, you told us you were dating. 

you smile a little. you’re fond of the memory — the look of shock on the rest of the crew’s face was priceless, and predictably, sanji and zoro got into an argument about you and how zoro is the last person qualified to date you. 

“how’d it happen, anyways?”

“what?”

“you and zoro?”

you try to think back on how it happened. it wasn’t like some sparks-fly moment like you’ve read in some of robin’s books nor some burning confession that was just bubbling up inside you. you remember the day he asked you on a date very well, though. 

you were sailing on a calm part of the ocean, and it was a sunny day with a gentle breeze. luffy, chopper, and usopp were playing some card game that was rapidly devolving into a cheating match. nami was tending to her tangerine tree while franky and robin were deep in some conversation. 

you and zoro had finished training in the gym and were lounging on deck. you basked in the warmth of the sun, on the verge of sleep, and you rolled over. you bumped into zoro and went to apologize but he just shrugged and pulled you in, letting you rest your head against his chest. “this comfortable?” he asked.

“yeah, you’re a good pillow,” you sighed, closing your eyes. 

there was a brief pause before zoro said, “i heard nami and curly brows talking about the island we’re going to. said there was a nice restaurant there. want to go?”

“sure, that sounds nice. are you going to be able to play nice with sanji there?”

“i was thinking it would just be use. you and me.”

you crack opened a eye and glance over at him. he wasn’t looking at you but you could see some red creeping up on his ears. you cuddle into him. “yeah, that sounds nice.”

you turn back to nami and say, “i don’t know. it just felt right. natural.”

she seems content with your answer as she nods and leans back in her chair. you do too, closing your eyes, listening to the sounds of the waves crashing against the shore and your boyfriend’s distant yells. 

[dre6ming]

Little bean - the delicate beginning rush series

Read the whole series HERE

Pairing: Austin butler x fem reader actress/singer

Warning: smut 18+ , descriptive sexual content, fluff

Plot: expecting your first baby with Austin, you throw a gender reveal party, inviting all your close friends

Word count: 1.6k

A/n: in the timeline of my story Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn get back together and are married, so deal with it. Also a cute cameo from Hugh Jackman himself.

More of my work- Masterlist

"Hey there bean!" Austin sighs against my swollen tummy, spreading his fingers over the stretched out skin. I groan feeling the baby instantly wake at the sound of Austin's voice. It's way too early in the morning and I was planning to sleep until late in the afternoon, so it's a little annoying that Austin could not wait until later to start conversations with our baby. "Hey mama!" He says excitedly, kissing my belly, before sliding up to catch my lips in a warm wet kiss. I breathe into his mouth and tangle my fingers in his hair, pulling at the roots, making him moan. "I wanted to sleep some more!" I argue, turning my head to the side to avoid his lips teasing him. " 'm sorry I just love seeing you like this.." Austin explains, looking down at my stomach, blinking slowly, his hand drawing circles on my bare skin. My heart feels heavy with love, looking at him treat the small human that's cooking in my body as a treasure no money could buy. "Make love to me Aus!" I beg, arching my back, pulling him close to me, bathing in the warmth of his figure. 

"Anything for you my darling" Austin sighs moving his hand down my belly and below the waist band of my pj pants, moaning when is fingers make contact with the sleek gathering in between my legs. When I became pregnant I had the fear that maybe he won't find me as sexy as he used to, that I'll grow as big as a stuffed turkey and he'll think of me as repulsive. I know it's stupid that I ever thought those things, considering it's Austin that we're talking about, but I couldn't shake the anxiety off of me. 

His lips bring me back to reality, soft and tender, kissing me and swallowing every moan and whimper. I caress is bare back, sliding my hands up to tangle in his hair, scratching at his scalp, making him shake, his hips pushing against my side, giving me a good feel of his erection. 

Austin is quick to work me out of my clothes and get on top of me, entering me in one move. "You are the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life." He confesses, leaning over my belly to kiss my forehead as he starts to move. "You're gonna be the best dad Austin!" I tell him truthfully, cupping his cheek, my thumb brushing over his flushed skin. He starts moving slowly and the angle as me rolling my eyes in the back of my head as he hits that spongy spot inside me. "Fuck, this is so good!" I moan digging my fingers into his biceps, leaving crescent moon indents.

"Fuck honey y/n I'm so close!" His hand moves between us to touch my clit, as his moves speed up a little. I feel pleasure taking over me, warming my whole body, coming in a wave from head to toe. "I'm -" I don't get to finish the sentence as my orgasm hits me and I squeeze around him, feeling him twitch inside me, warm ropes of cum coating my velvety walls. "Shit!" Austin exclaims, his moves coming to a halt as he starts to pepper kisses on my face, neck and everywhere his lips can touch. 

I start to giggle and soon enough it turns into a full laugh as he gets up to go to the bathroom, coming back with a wet washcloth to wipe me. "What are you laughing about?" He asks smiling for ear to ear. "Remember after I told you I was pregnant, that you were scared of having sex?" I can't control my laughter and soon enough he joins in. "I really thought I would shake the baby too much or maybe poke her, don't laugh" he argues, settling back in bed, wrapping me in his arms. 

"Her? How do you know? You didn't peek did you?" I was really hoping Austin didn't just ruin my surprise, we are supposed to have some of our closest friends come over for a gender reveal party tonight and the only person who knows the gender is Roxanne, who's supposed to think of an original way of revealing it to us. "I didn't, but I have a feeling." I hum , cuddling closer to him. "A feeling? And what shall we name her if she's a girl?" I ask, biting my lip. "Well in your list of names I did peek, I liked Manon, means light right?" I look at him in awe, brushing some strands of hair out of his face. "What?" He asks at my dumbfounded face. "Manon is my favorite too, I'd like a little girl with your hair and my eyes running around." I dream and can already picture it so clearly. "Well we have a party to put together before that, Tay should be here with Joe, in.." he looks over at the clock on the nightstand "30 minutes" 

———————————————————

"Ok sit down mama, you need to rest, you're seven months pregnant for gods sake!" Taylor scolds me, pushing on my shoulders to get me to sit down in the chair as she bosses around Joe and Austin. "So you really don't know what Roxy's got planned?" I ask for like the millionth time. "No and even if I did, I would not tell you." Her eyes look very stern and I know I shouldn’t push any further, but I'm bored and curious. The bell rings and I get up excitedly to open the door before she can. "I got it!" I shout

"Timmy!" I scream and hug him close, he had told me that he wasn't gonna make it, due to filming schedule. "Surprise!" He laughs hugging me. "And how's my nephew or niece?" He asks rubbing my tummy. "Very jumpy, I have to pee, every five minutes." I half joke. "Hey, guys!" Blake and Ryan show up at the door, right behind Timmy. "Blake , Ryan, hi guys, no kids today?" I ask seeing as they are alone. Having known them for so long, meeting them right after they had their last baby, it was like boot camp for motherhood. "Well the older ones had parties of their own and grandparents are visiting so Inez and Olin wanted to stay with them." Blake explains, hugging me tight, kissing me on the cheek. 

"Are we the first to get here?" Ryan asks. "No, Tay and Joe are here already, getting the place ready with Austin, Timmy just beat you here by a minute." I tell them, inviting them all in. 

After them the rest of the people start coming in slowly, Austin's dad, his sister and her family, Hugh and his girlfriend, my mom, Billie and Finneas with his girlfriend, Pedro and his sister, Jack and Margret, Aaron and his wife, James Austin's friend. The small LA house filled up pretty quickly with some of our dearest friends and family. 

"Where are Roxy and Joshua?" I ask Austin frustrated that half of the party has passed and they had yet to show up. Before he can answer, Hugh approaches us with a big smile. He became like a good father figure to me after playing alongside him in Deadpool and Wolverine, but that bind only became stronger a few years later when we did a movie together, playing father and daughter, a movie for which we both received Oscar's, his first and my third. "Hugh!" I say wrapping my arms around his neck, standing on my tippy toes. "My god you look so happy and healthy, I'm so proud of you y/n. You too Austin, you make such a good team!" 

Before I get to respond to his beautiful comment, the doors to the back yard open and Roxanne comes through them. "Come people, come and watch magic!" She dramatically smiles turning around, motioning for us all to follow her to the pool. In the back yard I instantly start laughing when I see, Joshua hanging over a fish tank. "Behold, each of you will draw a stick and the lucky one to draw the short stick, gets to sink Joshua, who will turn the color of the specific gender of our million dollar baby."

We all laugh, going around  each drawing a stick then excitedly looking around to see who gets the short one. "It's me!" Taylor says, going over to push the button making Joshua fall in the fish tank, instantly going pink. My eyes fill with water as my heart leaps in my chest with joy. Austin picks me up, spinning me around. "I told you!" He says proudly, kissing me, making space for our friends that come to congratulate us.

Later we are sat at the table, eating cake, laughing, when Joshua enters the room, still stained pink. "Um Roxy are you sure this dye is supposed to be washable?" He asks, concern clear on his face. "Uhm, no... I never said washable, I said it will wash away.... Eventually." She says dropping her head. Laughter erupts around the room and I look around, feeling so safe and happy in the family that I made.

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[strangerhottotties]

Mad Sounds - Part 2 - E.M.

Part 1

Summaries: You get Eddie's assignments back for the week and you have a meeting in his van to discuss...

Warnings: Horny shit. Minors fuck off. Mentions of masturbation, slight voyeurism, slight heavy petting and VERY brief grinding.

A/N: Just on my whore shit. I'm finally evening out after coming off birth control so the engine's warming for the first time all year. I share this with you at your own risk. My husband, ever my cheerleader picked out Eddie's test scores for the first couple weeks. Please enjoy.

Special thank you to my bestie who edited this and gave music recommendations: Taylor Swift's 'I Can See You' and 'Dress'.

All week Eddie hovered over you, never was he more than five minutes late to a study session. His newfound eagerness to study had turned more than a few heads. But ever the attention whore, he had turned his audience to you exclusively as much as he possibly could.

Every visit to your locker to retrieve books, he was right there to smile at you brazenly, eyes sliding over your form. It thrilled you. You had an incentive that no one else had ever offered, it fed your confidence. Eddie, ever the flirt, always held doors open for you, now insisted on being as gentlemanly as he possibly could.

All week he's been flashing a crisp red folder at you. Every time you see it, a tingle begins beneath your skin. The flat cardstock you always expect to warp, but the only distortion was the exaggerated hand drawn font across the front. Inside contained every assignment he'd received a grade for this week.

When the final bell rings on Friday afternoon, you make your way to your locker. Your eyes draw up towards your locker and catch a glimpse of Eddie leaning against the set of your lockers. He's a constant in the flow of bodies eager to leave the premises. His eyes as you approach are downright insidious, utterly wicked as he notices you. He fans himself that red folder.

"Hey, Honey," he hums, smile twisting with false sweetness like he was made of Aspartame. "I do hope you're prepared to pay up. I worked hard for these grades."

There were only three classes you were tutoring him in. The remaining classes he needed to graduate. Mr. Allen's Chemistry, Mrs. O'Donnel's Advanced Algebra, and Mr. Jones's Government class.

Thankfully your blush is minimal as you stop in front of the blocked lockers. "Hand 'em over," you hum, holding out your hand. He passes the folder into your hands and you're a little surprised by just how thick it feels in your hand.

He pushes off the wall and leans in close enough to your ear to taunt you that you can feel the heat of his breath fan across your cheek. "I even did the extra credit in Chem." You quirk an eyebrow at him as he holds you in an intense stare just inches from your face. You try to suppress your smile as you adjust the books in your arms to give it your full attention.

It'd be a lie to say that you weren't utterly feverish to discover exactly how good. How many times you thought of him tucked under you comforter at night, aching for his promises that he made last Friday. Aching to know how he tasted, what those talented fingers could do, and how much eagerly he wanted to touch you. Late nights filled with desperate, muffled whines for him. Keeping quiet as you squirm in the dark, wishing for the relief that his skin would give you, craving giving him anything he needed, being by Eddie Munson. 

He seemed pretty excited. "Extra credit, who are you and what have you done with Eddie?" You tease softly, your smile turning demure. Eddie's shoulders roll back as he tilts his head to the side, modeling his pretty neck for you. It reminds you of a brightly colored bird.

"What can I say, I really like my tutor." The hallways are beginning to clear as you flip open the folder and smile at the top page. His government test with a big, fat 'B-' on the top right corner. You flit your eyes over to his, where they burn with a darkness. He blows you a playful kiss.

"This is excellent Eddie!" You flip through his next couple assignments. "Two 'C's, a 'C+', 'B-', and a 'B', Extra credit..."

"I got full credit for it, does that count as an 'A+'." You flush as you consider. It certainly shouldn't go unrewarded if you wanted to encourage it. You draw out your consideration and his eyes light up with eagerness.

"I don't think this warrants that kind of reward," you answer honestly and he deflates, until you follow up with a... "but..." his head snaps up at that, "I kind of had a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" He asks. "Don't leave me in suspense, sweetheart." You glance around at the lingering student body.

"Can we go out to your van first?" You ask him quietly. His face goes blank and he snatches your hand to pull you towards the front doors. "Wait, wait, wait, Eddie!" you call and he halts as you dig the heels of your shoes into the tiled floor to yank him to a halt.

"What?"

"Let me get my bag first. It's in there." Eddie grins and turns around to sweep his hands at your locker. You smile and turn to open your locker, Eddie hanging over your shoulder.

"Do I get a hint?" he hums, but before you can answer, someone shouts his name from down the hall.

"Eddie, c'mon, what are you standing around for? We've got to set up!" You glance down the hall at Gareth and Jeff. Gareth is throwing his hands up in the air.

"Hold on!" He shouts and then turns his attention back to you.

"Do you need to go?"

"No, not even hellfire is getting between me and this surprise," he grins.

"Oh, you guys moved it to Friday?"

"Yeah, I figured we can tweak our schedule tomorrow. I can pick you up-"

"Hey, Eddie!" You giggle at the second interruption of the conversation. Dustin Henderson and Mike Wheeler, Nancy Wheeler's little brother, are jogging up to the irate metalhead. Eddie's mouth presses into a thin line as he regards the kids.

"What is it?" He sighs,

"What's up your ass?" Mike scoffs. You bite your lip to hold your laugh as you start filing through what books you'll need for weekend homework.

"Conversation, A," he points to himself, "B," he points to you, "see your way out of it!" You drag your bag out of your locker and close it. You hit him with an unimpressed look.

"Well, we wanted to ask," Dustin starts, "but I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Dustin, this is Mike." He holds his hand out with a toothy grin. You take his hand, shaking it with an introduction as Eddie slips up next to you.

"We're in Hellfire with Eddie and it's supposed to start in like, five minutes, would you like to join?" You blink with surprise.

"Oh, I don't know how to play D'n'D." You reply evenly. Eddie clears his throat softly.

"I could teach you," he offers, regarding you with playful eyes.

"Totally, it's actually super fun! It's based on strategy and there's a ton of different ways to play!" Mike encourages and receives a harsh look from the senior standing beside you. Eddie was being possessive of you, wanting your singular attention.

"Look, whatever this is..." He gestures between the two of them. "Lose it. I'll be in there. Give me... fifteen minutes?" He confirms with you.

"Be nice," you instruct him flatly before turning towards the two kids. "But fifteen minutes should do it." He rolls his eyes at the kids and grabs your hand to start dragging you away.

"Who'd have thought Eddie's girlfriend would be so nice?"

"Girlfriend?" You repeat in surprise to Eddie exclusively when he comes to a full stop at the word. The kids are walking away and thankfully don't hear your question.

"I never told them you were my girlfriend," he immediately discloses to you. You roll your eyes at him and continue you on, tugging at his hand but admiring the pretty blush that fans his cheeks.

"Come on, sweetiepea," you tease and he laughs awkwardly as you are both trotting into the parking lot.

"But, um," he rumbles in a far more sober tone, he pulls you to a stop, facing you directly. "I want to take you out." You tense as he says this.

"Oh." You sigh and glance around as you think. You shift on your feet as he tilts his face to the side. "You do?" You ask.

Eddie gives an awkward chuckle. "You don't?" He prompts. You teeter on your toes for a moment.

"I think it's more complicated than that, Eddie," you tell him softly, "but I'm... open to talking about it." He wets his lips and steps closer, eyes sliding across your eyes.

"Honey," he hums, "You don't have to go out with me, but... answer me this," he uses the knuckle of his free hand to nudge your chin up a bit, "Do you want... me?"

The air smells earthy. A contradiction in itself as dead leaves skirt across the asphalt of the draining parking lot. Eddie was washing his vulnerability across your skin with the trial of his voice. It was braver than you had any right to enjoy, but after a moment of thought you feel the need to meet him on that level, to share in that vulnerability so it wouldn't be quite so scary.

Your free hand drifts across his jean vest, taking in the coarse fabric as you reach for the collar. You grasp it firmly before pulling him closer to you. You breathe deeply before sighing out, "Yes."

It's simple as he nods. "That's so stupid of you," he responds with a nervous smile.

"Only if you make it so," you reply with a warning and he breathes shakily. You release him by the collar and continue pulling him to his van. He rushes to get to the passenger side for you, swinging the door open. "Thank you," you chirp and climb in. He trots around to the other side and slides into the driver's seat.

There is a heavy moment of silence as you glance at each other. "So, when I had you teach me something," you start as he twists to face you in the seat, "I wanted to model the studying after how you teach. I figure that's the easiest way for you to learn."

Eddie's eyebrows tilt up. "What was your conclusion?"

"Kinesthetic mostly," he gives you a crumpled look. "Hands on. You need to be apart of it, to tinker."

"How do you learn?"

"Writing and visually. The four main groups are kinesthetic, writing, visual, and audio. You are more audio and kinesthetic, if you're learning to play songs by ear." He tilts his head at you with interest. "So, that being said, you've responded the best so far to... motivation and you get distracted when your bored so I was worried that the motivation might get boring for you."

Eddie barks a laugh at you, eyes glittering. "Jeez, your brain is like a supercomputer, I swear." Your face twists at that and you bite your lip as Eddie's smile fades. "Hey, it's a compliment. I swear," he urges.

"I..." you start and fade off.

Eddie takes a deep frustrated breath and looks out at the parking lot. "I know I try to get under your skin," he starts, "but I hate it when you make that face. It kind of makes me sick to my stomach. It's not as fun as I expect it to be. So what did I say, that's the second time now."

You fiddle with the strap on your bag for a moment, fighting the tears away. "'I’m not a robot, Eddie. I have emotions and thoughts and... I don't always get... what's said in between the words. Logic is easier... that doesn't make me less human." A hand skirts across to brace on your knee and your stomach jumps.

"If anything," he coaxes, "it makes you superhuman. Better than the rest of us." You spare a glance over at him and find soulful, brown eyes glittering at you. "I've never met anyone who just... understands. I watch and I see, but you, you watch and you understand. I see the gears turning in your head all of the time. I wish I had that setting."

"It's not a setting, it's all the time. I can't just switch it off. My brain never stops." Eddie smiles at you, eyes crinkling with empathy.

"I think I understand that better than most. It's like fighting nature itself. Never a quiet moment." You nod at him, sighing out with some relief that he understood. He could conceptualize how you operated.

"Exactly."

Eddie's smile widens. "So, do I still get my surprise?"

It's your turn to smile at the way he defuses your tension. "Of course," you reply as he gives you a gentle squeeze of your thigh. You draw the cardboard out of your bag to reveal a spinning dial, expertly color coded. You present it to him as he laughs. "We could fill in with little things that if you're sick of my cookies or something you can spin for a possible change."

"I get to pick things out?" He chirps.

"Sure, as long as we both agree." Eddie grins maliciously and his fingers pinch the tender skin on the inside of your thigh, making you squeak and swat at his hand. His eyes widen.

"Are you ticklish?" He rumbles playfully.

"Eddie, you've got like five more minutes..." you warn sternly, pushing his hand away with an embarrassed glare. He pouts and leans in towards your face, eyes lit up like a cat that's noticed a mouse.

"Okay, okay... is that long enough for me to get the reward for my 'B-'?" Your cheeks flush further and you glance into the back of his van. That could be secluded enough you think.

"Okay," you hum softly and his eyebrows raise with delight.

"Really?"

"Mhmm." You nod your head towards the back of his van and he darts, snatching your hand to pull you after him.

"Please tell me I can unwrap you like a present," he begs and the way he asks makes your knees tremble enough that you wobble and stumble down on them after you've barely made it past the front seats. Eddie's eyes go wide as he tries to soften your fall.

"Ah, sorry!" You chirp, a little frazzled as you attempt to give him an embarrassed smile.

His grin etched across his face, full of salacious cues. "What, that get you excited, pretty girl?"

Your cheeks flare with heat as your brain sparks out and he must see it written on your face because his laugh is out right evil. He's corrosive to your steely exterior and there was nothing you could do to stop that. The only thing rotating through your head was Eddie's voice saying pretty girl on repeat.

Was that really all it took to fry your circuits?

"Uh-huh," fell from your mouth before you could stop it.

Eddie's face freezes, too as you cave into him. It was an excellent example of just how easy you were to bend under the right circumstances. Eddie swallows before giving you a possibly nervous laugh and kneeling down with you.

"I-I mean... shit," you say, hands covering your face in horror. Your nervous break has Eddie grinning and pulling your hands away from your mouth. "I didn't... mean to-to say that-that." You squeeze your eyes shut and your lip wobbles because the repeating words begin.

Eddie sets your palms down in your lap as he gives you a chuckle, wetting his lips. "I think I could use a little more of your honesty," he rasps and your breath hitches as he reaches for your waist, untucking your shirt and sweater with a wiggling motion from where they are secured in the waistband of your jeans.

You don't trust yourself to speak, not when he's staring right at you with those endless eyes. He's barely (technically not even) touching you and your chest is expanding deeper and deeper with each breath.

If you could only see inside his head, every ounce of delicate nervousness would be washed away. Every conscious moment had you. He felt like he was fourteen all over again, springing erections at the very smell of you or the curl of your shy smiles, the ones that had lingering of heat at the edges. The idea of you giving yourself over to him so easily.

If it had been any other girl, he'd have been excited, sure. He was twenty and a pretty girl offering her services as a reward would have simply been a brag. But it was you. You who had seemed so immune to his ridiculous boyish crush for years. You who had been impervious to every flirt he'd attempted throughout the years. You who was smarter than anyone he'd ever met. You who didn't give a shit if you were a cheerleader or if you were dating a jock. You who'd actually had a sense of justice. You... who offered yourself to him ooohhh so sweetly in his bedroom after a tearfilled confession.

It was torture.

He'd had to fuck his fist three times after you left that night just to be able to get rid of the ever-returning erection. Hell, you'd given him more than enough to work with.

"Fuck," he groans as he peels the sweater up over your head and you happily help but lifting your arms. "You don't even know how hot you look right now."

It makes you whimper.

Eddie freezes as he stares at you, his own chest rising and falling heavily. His fingers tremble as they work your buttons loose. The sounds of shaky breathing and the soft press of fabric sliding on fabric is filling the inside of the enclosed space. It's a little too stuffy in here but that makes your heart pound harder as his fingers glide gently over the skin of your shoulders.

It hitches your breath, the heat of his palms as he pushes the open blouse off your shoulders. Your brain, as if to prove your earlier conversation wrong, melts in the heat of the moment until you can't think. Those eyes scorch your skin as he takes in the silky hold of your breasts. He hooks his index fingers through the straps and drags them slowly down, savoring unwrapping you.

"Jesus Christ," he mutters, face crumbling in distress as you feel the fabric flip under your breasts. His face is twisted as his eyes take a moment to dart up to yours. He opens his mouth to say something, but all that falls out is another soft, "Jesus Christ."

He looks closer to tears than you've ever seen. It's what drives you to lift up onto your knees and push closer, cupping his head in your hands. He's so close you can feel his damp breath breeze across your breasts. His hands rise to cradle your waist, sliding up you until with a jerk you're in his lap and gasping.

Your sternum collides a bit with his forehead as his hands start to creep upward. You smack his hands and he jerks away to stare at you like a kicked puppy. It almost works.

"What?"

"'B+'," you reply. "You... you've earned the right to... see them, and to... a picture, but you-you haven't earned feeling them," you whisper, voice already fighting to come out. Eddie's gaze softens and he nods obediently.

"Look so good," he sighs. "So good." There is a mutual understanding, the dangling that if he really wanted to, he could. He was inches away from his fingers gliding up to caress you in the way you ached for. Barely a breath away from scooping up your nipple with his tongue to taste. “Did you touch yourself to the thought of my rewards?” He asks, fingers dancing sweetly over your waist again.

A shuddering sigh leaves you and you swallow the saliva building in your mouth. Your thumbs trace his cheek bones. “Every night since you offered to touch me,” you manage on the edge of a sigh, cheeks deepening with color. Your eyes float up to gauge his reaction, flutter with the desire to turn away. His fingers tighten and knead the skin of your waist.

His mouth goes slack with want, eyes boring into yours. “I love your honesty. You’re being so good,” he praises softly.

It felt kind of torturous but as he adjusts you feel something nudge your center and your eyes snap down to the shape at the front of his pants. "He doesn't lie, you know," he promises you.

"No?" You find yourself smiling with mild amusement. "It's not like Pinocchio?" Eddie grins nearly drunkenly at your poor joke.

"The polar opposite... save for being woody," he rumbles back and juts his chin in your direction. He's staring at your mouth, his hands finding purchase on your hips, thumbs rubbing little circles over your skin, sending tingles down your legs.

You sink curiously down into his lap and his eyes seal shut with a rather deep intake of his breath. Your heart is hammering at the sight as you feel yourself pulse against him. As he breathes out his eyes hood at you, mouth tilting towards yours.

You lean back with your shoulders, just barely out of reach of his kiss. A taunted groan rumbles in his chest. "No?" He hums.

You wet your lips, a demure smile spreading across your mouth as you shake your head at him. You find yourself biting your lower lips to keep you grounded.

"What do I have to do to earn that then?" He asks.

"Add it to the-the wheel?" You offer and his smile is stretching affectionately across his face. He sighs softly.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Eddie! You better get your ass out here!" Gareth roars as you're both scrambling in the back of the van.

Eddie launches you onto your back beside him as he scrambles up to the driver's seat and rolls the manual window down. It nearly knocks the adrenaline out of you as he grumbles about 'these friends cockblocking him'.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Eddie snarls as you're sliding your straps back in place and searching for your blouse.

"My problem? Dude, get out here! We're ready to start our campaign and you said 'fifteen minutes' twenty... two minutes ago."

"Gareth," Eddie seethes as you button the front of your shirt, not bothering with all of them before scrambling to put your sweater on.

"No- Eddie, get the fuck out here? What's more important than-" but then you're making contact with Gareth as you're tucking in your shirt, hair still tucked into both aspects of clothing. Eddie glances in the rear view mirror as you flush with embarrassment.

"Shit," Eddie sighs.

"You're really boning the valedictorian?" Gareth demands.

"No!" Eddie snaps. "We're not boning, okay?"

"Really?" His friend scoffs. "Just get in here!"

With that, Eddie gives a frustrated groan and rolls the window up, Gareth already left your slot of the window. When he twists around you give him a little wicked giggle that makes his eyebrows creep up his face.

"You think that's funny?" He accuses, eyes glinting as you giggle uncontrollably harder, hand covering your mouth as you shake your head at him. "Are you sure?" He teases creeping closer to you. Your giggles are getting more wicked until he's moving fast and you're all but tackled to the floor of his van.

Eddie pins your hands to the carpet, hovering directly in your face. "You better get your ass inside," you hum, "your subjects are waiting."

"But you see, there's one more nefarious thing that I must do."

"What's tha-ahmpf!" Eddie's mouth is on yours before you can finish your question, eyes widening as he intertwines your fingers. That heat you were feeling starts flooding your body back.

He's straddling you, and yet somehow his weight isn't enough. He's not resting against the one place you need it. But your mouth parts to mimic his hesitantly, regardless of your lower protests. You copy him, gasping quietly into his mouth, before he pulls back.

He sits back then, grinning down at you on the floor below him, flushed and pouting. "Had to steal a kiss from the princess in secret," he jokes, "don't pout, I'll earn my next one."

"I... want another one," you murmur and his eyes light up like a kid on Christmas. His warm laughter bounces off the walls of the van.

"Next time, we've got to go," he chirps and pulls you up.

"Do I... look decent?" You ask untucking your hair and fluttering your hands over it, hoping it's not too obvious what you were doing in the back of the van.

"You look stunning," he urges with a wink and climbs up front.

More pounding startles you from the wall of the van.

"Not what I meant and you know it!" You hiss but he opens the passenger door and you both file out. You snag your bag from the front seat, leaving the unfinished wheel on the passenger seat instead.

"Oh, and Eddie," you call, turning towards the two boys, you fish your hand into the front pocket of your bag. "For that 'B'... and the extra credit." His eyes widen as you draw two polaroids out of your bag. You'd prepared six... just in case. Six you thought looked good. There were more among the ash in your fireplace at home that were awkward angles (close to twenty more).

You can't look as you draw them out, too indecisive on which ones he'd like. He's in front of you like an obedient dog in an instant, taking them like it's gospel. 

"You were walking around all day with these in your locker?" He demands as Gareth tries to peek only to be met with a literal pushy Eddie. You grin, flushed deep pink, surely. His gaze goes gummy with heat again, melting under your soft seduction that you’re beginning to lean into. He was nothing but putty to your soft and genuine admiration of him. You’re finding how responsive he is to the warm and sticky center that he’s managed to find in the maze of your steel barricade.

"Bye, Eddie." You hum, thrilled with surprising and delighting him. 

"Bye, Honey," Eddie teases back, dazed as you turn on heel.

"Have fun with your board game club," you toss back and manage to get Gareth to snort. Eddie's eyes narrow on your own form retreating towards your car.

"What's that?" You hear his friend demand.

"I'll take your hand off. You’re not looking." You smile to yourself, stealing glances over your shoulder as the boys roughhouse.

Your first kiss stolen with the most delicious thievery you’ve ever tasted; the ghosting memory enchants your lips. You can still feel the heat of his calloused hands drifting over your thrumming skin. The scent of him, wearing on the day, still clinging to you as you settle into your car.

Again, I'm not doing a taglist for this currently. If you want to follow this short series hit the follow and turn on notifications.

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

🤍 SAFETY II 🤍

Two kisses are being placed on her shoulder, right on top of the soft fabric of her shirt, slowly wandering down to the sleeve and finally landing right on the warm skin of her naked arm. She can smell his aftershave already, way before having opened her eyes. She loves to smell him when she wakes up, loves to feel with all of her senses that he’s right there, right with her. His scruffy face presses a few more gentle kisses onto her arm and she can hear him whispering his good mornings onto her skin. His big hand is securely placed around her torso, right on top of the white hotel bed sheets. She groans slowly, her head pounding like she was hit by a truck. For a split second she feels unable to remember what is going on? Why does her head hurt like this? Why is she so nauseous? Why is there an IV drip attached to her hand? Suddenly, these dark thoughts cross her mind again. He told her last night. He told her what happened. 

Even though she feels as weak as she barely has before, Taylor forces herself to open her eyes once. She needs to wake up. She needs to wake up to speak to Tree, to solve this situation, to make sure no one has witnessed her in her unconscious state. With half open eyes, Taylor moves quickly, almost panicky and looks down confusedly to the man in bed next to her. He’s fully dressed, freshly showered, just casually lying on his stomach right next to her. His arm still wrapped around her body, his thumb stroking gently over the fabric of her blanket. He can’t help smile at her gently. Her hair is curly and quite literally everywhere. She’s got the same grumpy look on her face as per usual when he has to wakes her up. She’s never liked getting up. No matter what time of the day it is. 

“Hi.” she mumbles, her voice rusky and still full of sleep. It makes Travis smile quietly. 

“Hi beautiful.” he says, moves closer to her to press a gentle kiss onto her lips. She barely moves her face and he’s unsure if she’s too tired still or uncomfortable kissing him without having brushed her teeth yet. He couldn’t care less about these things, but he knows she does. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks then, moving his face closer to her cheek again to leave a kiss there. 

“Horrible.” she groans, closing her eyes again for a moment. She’s been awake for less than five minutes and already feels exhausted. She takes a deep breath, hoping it will cure her upset stomach or the head that feels like exploding. But it doesn’t help. Of course it doesn’t. 

“Headache?” he asks gently, reaching for her hand to intertwine with his. She’s got her eyes closed again, just nods quietly. And Travis hates it. He hates seeing his girl as sick and weak as she is now. In the past year of loving this woman, he’s not seen her like this at all. Taylor is full of energy and life. Probably has more energy than most people he knows. But seeing her like this, and knowing that another person is the reason for it, makes his blood boil in an unruly way. He knows he most likely broke this guy’s nose last night. But if he could, without consequences, there’d be far worse things he’d do to him.

His thumb is drawing gentle circles on her hand and he doesn’t rush her waking up again. Instead, he just stays right there next to her, watching her drift off again slowly. And it’s quiet between them again. The kind of quiet he’s never been able to enjoy with anyone else. But with her, it’s different. With her, silence doesn’t have to be a form of insecurity. There’s pure clarity between them. Nothing but love, support, honesty. He loves sitting in silence with her, because it reminds him that besides all the earthly things he loves about her… at the end of the day she’s just the purest little soul he’s ever been privileged to know.

“I need to get up.” she whispers weakly then, her voice whiny. He just shakes his head no, getting closer to her hand he’s holding in his and presses another kiss on top of it. 

“We’ve still got a couple of hours until the flight. I just wanted to wake you cause I knew it’ll take a while for you to be alright. Don’t stress about it, baby.” he says, but Taylor just takes another deep breath and carefully tries to sit up. She notices that her hand is still connected to the IV stand next to the bed. Still in disbelief about the events of last night, Taylor just sits up, leaning against the backrest of the hotel bed. She feels dizzy, nauseous. And she can’t believe Travis has to see her like this. She must look absolutely horrendous, that she’s sure of.

“I can call and get someone to remove the IV. The guy last night said it’s a quick job.” 

She nods, rubbing her tired eyes. 

“Thanks. I.. I really need to go to the bathroom. Can you help me?” 

Even before she finished her sentence, Travis has gotten up from his spot next to her in bed. He helps Taylor come to a secure stand, then helps her make her way to the bathroom on the other side of the hotel suite. One hand securely on the IV stand with the small wheels attached to it, the other one holding hers. She’s extremely weak. Just holding onto him with all the strength left in her. He hates seeing her like this, hates to know that he was there when this happened. He was there, but he wasn’t able to protect her. 

“Want me to..” 

She turns around, shakes her head no. 

“I can do it on my own. Some privacy please.”

“You sure?”

“Trav..” she mumbles with slight annoyance in her voice and he chuckles quietly, then respects her wishes and closes the bathroom door behind her. 

~

“Alright sweetie, this is what I got you.” he excitedly places the secured goods on the table at the end of the room. “I got you a full sugar coke with some ice, we’ve got healthy fats in the form of a crispy salmon taco, I got you some chili cheese nuggets, we’ve got some fries and some Gatorade, of course.” the tall man proudly stands there, holding the brown fast food bags up in the air after having just returned from his lunch food run. Taylor, who just got out of the shower, just walks past him and sits down on the side of the bed with her hair dripping wet and her body covered by nothing but the big white towel. 

“Babe, this is very sweet but I literally just threw up an hour ago. I can’t eat.”

“I know, but you heard what the doctor said. You need to eat to actually feel better. Just try some of it, you don’t have to eat it all.” he mumbles while unpacking the food bag. She doesn’t answer him and it forces him to look back at her in confusion. He doesn’t like what he sees. She just sits there on the side of the bed, her chest rising up and down.

“Hey, you okay?” he asks worriedly, dropping everything around him to sit down next to her. Just like a reflex, his arm is now wrapped around her wet towel, the other one resting on her naked thigh. 

“I.. I think the hot shower was.. just a lot.” she mumbles, her face pale and still breathing heavily. He sighs, feels his throat tightening again. He doesn’t say anything, just moves closer to her. Within a second he feels her head leaning on his shoulder and her small hand finding its natural position on his chest. She just melts into his arms and he appreciates being her harbor in this moment. His head turns around towards her and he presses a few kisses onto her wet but amazingly well smelling hair. His big hand moving up and down her naked arm. She doesn’t move, clearly needs a few minutes to recover from taking a shower and washing her hair. His lips won’t leave her head and he feels himself getting emotional again. This woman in his arms is not just his best friend and greatest life companion he’s ever known. This woman in his arms is his future wife, the future mother of his children, the person he wants to grow old with, the only person on this planet he would sit in the trenches with. He wants to die at ninety years old, right in her arms, while looking into those eyes one last time. He knows worse things can happen. He knows she’s been lucky because she’s got people looking out for her. He knows she’s been lucky because she got the medical help she needed right away. Still, this nagging, stinging, horrible feeling of fear and guilt at the same time won’t leave his chest. He wants to be strong for her. He promised himself and her that he would be. But right now in this moment, holding her wet and weak body in his arms almost brings him to his breaking point. He’s always cried too fast and too much, and it’s something that everyone in his life is well aware of. He’s never felt the need to hide it but in moments like these, he wishes he could stay as level-headed and strong as she needs him to be right now. 

His lips continue to press gentle kisses onto her scalp underneath her wet and curly hair. She doesn’t move, just closes her eyes for a moment. How is it possible that whatever drug she was put under keeps making her feel so tired? After a few moments, she then slowly pulls back, looking up at him again. She notices immediately. This giant teddy bear is smiling his biggest smile at her but his eyes are red and watery. She can tell right away he’s been crying.

“Oh baby..” 

“Don’t.” he immediately says, already sinking his head, not wanting her to see him like this. “I’m fine. Just a cry baby, you already know.” he jokes but she’s not having any of it. Her cold hands wander to his stubbly beard. She just holds his face in her hands for a moment, then gets closer to him as he is quicker than her, already steels her forehead another butterfly kiss. A tear runs down his cheek, and it breaks her heart. 

“What’s going on?” she whispers, her hand now securely on top of his sweatpants on his thigh. He takes a deep but shaky breath, shakes his head. 

“Nothing.” 

“Talk to me.” she says with a level of gentleness in her voice that always gets him. He swallows, looking into her eyes again. He’s still crying, but he’s trying to swallow it down. 

“I just.. I love you.” he says, and by the look on his face she knows he’s never meant anything as much as he means these words. His chin is trembling and it does something to her heart.

“And I’m real sorry for last night, baby. I.. I know I sound like a broken record by now, but this shouldn’t have happened last night and..” 

“Trav.” she just says, a big sigh escaping her mouth. “Listen to me.”

Taylor reaches for both of his cheeks once more and lifts herself up to press a big kiss onto his mouth. She can taste the salt of the tears running down his cheek and it moves her. She hates that this beautiful person is crying for her, but it touches her on another level to understand just how loved she is. She always knew that Travis loves her. She knew it from the first day they hung out, right over a year ago. His feelings for her was never anything that was up for debate. But witnessing how badly he wants her to be happy and healthy and well is another form of declaring his love for her that she hadn’t been privy to witness before. She can’t help but smile to herself. This is the kind of love she’s always wanted. This is exactly what she’s always wanted.

“I know this should’ve never happened. But.. I’m okay. I’m okay because you were there. You.. you literally saved my life, Trav. You.. you carried me to my hotel room, you called a doctor for me, you gave me aspirin when I was pretty much unconscious. I still have no idea how you did that.” she giggles slightly and it makes him smile beneath his tears, too. 

“You held my hair when I was throwing up this morning. You just got me disgustingly smelly food in an attempt to make me feel better.” she takes a pause, not sure how else to convince him that none of this was his fault. It never could be. He just gets closer to her again, kissing her forehead once more. 

“You’re just… magical. You’re the best boyfriend I’ve ever had.”

“Boyfriend?” he says offended suddenly, and she laughs, rolling her eyes while wiping away one last set of tears running down his cheek. 

“Fiancé, excuse me. Future husband.” 

“That’s better.” he jokes, pulling her closer again. 

“It hurts me that you’re so sad.” she adds then, and he shakes his head. 

“I’m not sad, baby. I just.. I hate seeing you not being okay.” 

“Trav, I am okay.” 

“You’re not. You can barely shower without collapsing, you can’t eat, you’re tired and….” 

“Baby.” she says, a laugh escaping her mouth. “I’m fine. I’m not made of glass. I get sick, I get tired. But I’ll be okay. Don’t worry.” 

He nods, suddenly feels a hint of embarrassed for worrying so much. She’s strong, extremely strong and he never wants to make her feel any less than that. His head is sunk, and he sniffles once more, just nodding. She smiles gently at him, her hand stroking gently through his hair once and then presses a kiss onto his big head. 

“There’s gonna be so many times you’ll have to witness me being sick. And I’ll have to witness you being sick. It won’t be fun. But I don’t want us to.. to turn this into a thing, okay? I’ve had a relationship before where our happiness as a couple was dependant on saving each other and you know how well that ended.” 

Travis looks into her eyes and nods. She’s absolutely right. He can be there for her, he can take care of her. But he won’t be able to protect her from the world. Even though he would love nothing more than having this power. 

“Once I’m pregnant, I’ll suffer so much and you will have to endure all of it.” she says then, a twinkle in her eyes that makes him smile again. “Between Abigail and me, I was always the more cranky one when I was sick. She literally is the most pain-tolerating person I know and she told me countless times that she’s felt like dying in the first trimester. So you’ve got lots to look forward to, mister.” she jokes, another little laugh escaping her throat. He smiles at the thought, nods, lets both their noses touch and then kisses her again. But this time, really. He slowly pulls back after a few seconds, leans his forehead against hers. 

“I can’t wait for that.” he whispers against her lips, both his eyes closed, smiling. 

“Me too.” she says, moves her nose once more to tickle his. This is the first time in her life that she gets to talk about these things in a way she always dreamed of. It’s not an if anymore. It’s a plan. it’s their plan. And she can’t wait to do it all with him. All of the things she used to be so terrified of. She’s ready to do it all with him. Finally, she’s ready. 

“I’ll probably cry every time I throw up. And you’ll have to deal with it.” she giggles at him. 

“I’ll cry with you.” he says then and it makes her laugh even more.

“Trav.” she gently hits him. “I need you to be pragmatic and logical when I’ll loose my mind over my hormones. Would be awesome to have at least one person in this house who can think straight.” she jokes and he nods. 

“How much more time do I get to prepare? A year?” 

She grins at him, nodding. 

“You know the deal. No trying for a baby before the wedding. I need good pictures.” 

“Alright. But we can keep practicing. Practice makes perfect, I know what I’m talking about.” he jokes, kissing her cheek once more. And he loves to feel her small hand land on his neck. The thought of their future together is making her as happy as it makes him. He can’t wait to take these steps with her. He can’t wait to just live his life alongside this beautiful person. 

“Trav?” she looks at him again, her hand tickling his chin gently. 

“Mhm?” 

“I love you, too. Let’s.. let’s just forget last night ever happened, okay?” 

He looks at her, his face a bit more serious than before. He hates that she feels the need to just suppress what happened. And really, this is the last thing he expected her to do. He expected tears, he expected long conversations with Tree and her security team. Not this. 

“I’m not sure babe. I’ll try.” 

“Good.” she kisses him once more, then slowly gets up to dry her hair.

~

Travis looks out of the big black car window with the tinted glass. It’s always a surreal feeling to drive across the runway of a commercial airport, especially here in Las Vegas. A few palm trees are still marking the outline of this gigantic airport. The afternoon heat making it hard to see clearly back to the airport halls, the huge building almost almost blurry by the guzzling heat. You never know how gigantic these airplanes really are until you sit in a regular sized car, right in front of one. Travis looks to his right, can see the blonde curly haired woman in her huge sweater, not sure if she’s cold from the AC in the car or whether her tiredness is the reason she had to wear a hoodie at this Nevada heat. 

“I don’t think there’s any paps, babe.” he mumbles then, looking out of the window to ensure himself once more that he’s right. 

“Yeah, but I still want them to shield me with the umbrella. I look horrific.” she mumbles, her voice still a little rusty. It’s inevitable to see that she’s been through it. She doesn’t even look at him in this moment, is just frantically texting on her phone. Her small Gucci handbag half open on her lap and the other bag with her laptop and cosmetics right between them. Traveling with Tay is something that amuses him every time. She’s always got at least two purses with her, a bunch of suitcases (and of course, she never knows which one carries what), there’s always at least two phones flying around the airplane and it’s never been the case that she didn’t forget something on the plane after. He loves this creative, chaotic but loving woman, even though her lack of travel organization is something that might actually drive him insane one day.

“You look great, what are you talking about.” he just counters her and for the first time since minutes, she looks up from her phone and smiles at him. He loves having that effect on her. He loves how she’s not wearing any make up, loves that she’s more comfortable around him than anyone else in her life. 

“I love when your natural curls come through.” 

His comment hits her right in the heart. 

“I don’t.” 

“Well, you should. It’s freaking gorgeous.” he says unbothered, now looking out of the window again. He doesn’t even seem to notice how much these small comments really mean to her. How much her mindset, her confidence, her thoughts, her whole life has changed ever since this has become the norm for her. Someone building her up on the constant. Promises that are kept. Nothing but support and acceptance radiating from him. He loves her. She’s always his priority. Crazy how simple relationships can be. 

Still smiling at the big man next to her, all it takes is one look back at her phone screen and she groans annoyedly. 

“What?” Travis looks back at her. 

“Mom is driving me insane.” 

He grins and the car comes to a stop. 

“She keeps on sending me more things to pick up before dinner. I thought I can just send Alex to Whole Foods but now she wants us to get wine from that Australian store and pick up Kitty from the salon and.. it just never ends.” she says with an annoyed face, letting her phone drop onto her lap like a child throwing a tantrum. He just laughs at her, already knows that she’ll look for it between the car seats in a bit.

“Does she not know you’re still really worn-out from last night?” 

Taylor doesn’t answer him, and he instantly knows why. Instead of answering him, she just opens the car door, asks Travis to reach for her tote bag behind her and manages to board the plane underneath at least four umbrellas without anyone being able to see her face from afar. As soon as she got on the plane she feels her knees going weak once more. She usually makes sure to take her bag from Travis, but this time she just falls onto the seat and takes a shaky breath. How can she be so out of breath from walking a set of stairs? 

Travis, who finally enters the plane now notices immediately how pale she is again. 

“All good?” 

She nods, reaches for the small water bottle next to her and takes a sip. 

“Yeah.. just.. got dizzy for a bit.” 

Travis just sighs, places her bag next to her and grabs the small carry on suitcase from one of her security guards to place securely behind her seat. 

“Welcome aboard miss Swift. Would you like to eat lunch during this flight?”

Taylor looks at the flight attendant of today’s flight crew, smiles politely and ready to decline as Trav starts speaking first. 

“I think that would be a great. What do you guys have?” 

“Let me give you a menu.” she says friendly and disappears. Taylor just looks at him and rolls her eyes while watching Travis sit down in front of her.

“You haven’t eaten in almost twenty hours. I understand that you don’t want the greasy taco bell I got you this morning but please try eating at least something.” 

Just when she was ready to hit him with her prepare speech about how she won’t force food down her throat when she doesn’t want it, the flight attendant steps closer to the two again, holding a menu card in her hand and smiling at the couple. 

“Today, we can offer you either a sushi dish with yellowtail snapper, spicy tuna and avocado. We also have Filet Mignon with roasted potatoes and a side salad or the vegetable pasta with truffle cheese.” 

“Can I get the Filet Mignon please?” Travis says politely while securing his seat belt, and Taylor sighs. 

“I guess I’ll have the same.” 

The flight attendant nods and disappears again.

Travis smiles thankfully at her. 

“If I’ll explode on this tiny airplane toilet in an hour, then that’s on you!”

“You won’t. You’ll feel better.” he says, his voice has gone all gentle again. He places his arm right over the little table between them, signaling her that he wants to hold her hand. With one hand still holding onto the little water bottle, Taylor places her small cold hand in his, enjoys getting her cold hand warmed by his. 

“Now tell me why your mom has no clue what happened last night.” 

Taylor sighs. She can’t ever keep anything from him. 

“My parents worry so much about me. You know that. I just.. nothing happened so it’s not necessary to tell them.” 

“I disagree. I think you need all the support around you right now and hiding it from anyone will just turn this into a dirty little secret, which it really doesn’t have to be.”

“I don’t need ‘support’, Trav. Gosh. I’m not feeling great, but this whole thing will be forgotten tomorrow.”

He looks at her and hates the tone in her voice right now. She’s not just gaslighting him, but also herself. Still, he won’t let go of her hand. 

“You were drugged, Tay. Against your will. That’s literally called abuse. And just because that guy didn’t get to rape you after, doesn’t mean he didn’t have the intention to do so. It was still it abuse.” he says in a serious voice that gives her a shiver for a moment. She looks up at him, pulls her hand away. Something in her has shifted and he has no idea why. 

“Why do you want me to suffer?” she says then, her arms crossed. For a moment, he has no idea what she’s talking about. 

“Excuse me?” 

“All morning you act like I almost died. I didn’t. You know how many people this happens to? Some people literally take drugs for fun. It happened to me, it wasn’t great but I’ll be fine. Why do you have to turn this into something bigger than it is?” 

“Wow.” he just says, an angry sigh escaping his mouth. He doesn’t know what else to say to her. He understands that she’s not feeling well, he understands she’s tired and annoyed and sensitive right now. That she wishes it never happened. But he didn’t expect her to be so dismissive of his feelings after she’s been so understanding and empathetic just a few hours ago. 

“Well, I’m sorry for not being able to move on from this as fast as you can. Just wasn’t fun seeing the person I love collapse in my arms. Lucky you didn’t have to endure that. Would’ve been nice to be the unconscious one in that situation. But hey, next time someone drugs you I’ll just tell myself ‘oh it’s not that bad, some people do this for fun’.” he gets back at her, knowing he sounds more salty than he intended to. But it’s not the end of their argument. She looks angry, ready to say something she will definitely regret. 

“You know what? Sometimes, you can be a real asshole.” she says angry. 

“Right back at you, sweetie.” 

The plane starts moving and she just shakes her head in anger, doesn’t say anything else. Travis looks into the other direction as well, not able to say anything consoling in this moment. He doesn’t understand how she can go from being the most gentle, kind and understanding person in the world to being as cold as this. Making him feel like he’s just a burden. Pretending like his feelings as well as her feelings aren’t valid. He never wants her to suffer. All he wants is to be there for her, to be a good partner. Travis looks at her once more, but she just looks out of the window, plugging her AirPods into her ears. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to him at the moment. And he can’t say he feels any different. 

~

“Tay… Tay, we just landed.” she wakes up, feels Travis gently caressing her arm. She looks around almost as confused as she was this morning, realizes that she must have passed out for a solid amount of time. The last thing she remembers is eating bits of her steak and potatoes while successfully ignoring the man in front of her. She’s mad at him for his comments earlier. Mad that he makes her feel worse about what happened last night than he should. Still, he must have placed a blanket over her when she fell sleep. One of her AirPods must have fallen out of her ears and onto her lap. It seems like she’s had a good nap. 

“How long was I out for?”

“Whole flight.” he mumbles, busy looking into his phone. He clearly doesn’t want to talk to her either, doesn’t ask her how she’s feeling, how her nap was or leaning over the table to steal her a little wake up kiss. She hates to admit it, but she misses getting her usual treatment from him. She’s still annoyed by him, but she secretly hates this fight. However, she’s too proud to give in yet. This time, he should be the one to come around. It’s none of his business how she deals with her family. He should help her move on from last night and not make her feel guilty for doing so. She feels disrespected by him judging her for wanting to deal with this in her own way. Especially him. The person who has understanding for literally anyone and anything on this planet. 

It takes a good thirty minutes until the plane has arrived in its arrival position and the two have made their way into the car. The drive up to her house is long. Even longer when the person next to you does their very best to not talk to you under any circumstances. She then turns her head once, looks at him looking out the window. He seems mesmerized by the Nashville city sights. The last time he visited her here, they spent their time going on little hikes and just being their happiest selves together. Now, there’s conflict between them. She hates it. Even more than the afternoon traffic they just got stuck in. She sighs, is not sure how to approach him now. 

“You don’t need to come to my mom’s dinner with me tonight. It’s just my family anyways and..” 

“If you go, I’ll go.” he says. 

She doesn’t say anything, just nods and looks out of the window. 

“But you’re mad at me.” 

“Correct.” he says quietly, and she rolls her eyes. “But it would be rude not to go to a family thing when we promised them we’d be there.” 

“I don’t want you to go if you’re like this all night.” 

He sighs now, rolls his eyes and lets his head fall against the head rest of the car seat in annoyance. 

“What do you want me to say, Tay? Want me to apologize for worrying about you? For caring about your well-being? Just tell me what you want to hear because I don’t get it.” 

She doesn’t say anything, feels this new form of anger boil up in her. Before she can stop herself, she opens her mouth a tad too quickly.

“You literally think I’m so weak, don’t you?” 

He looks at her in confusion and shock. 

“What the fuck? When did I say that..” 

“You literally think last night broke me. But it didn’t. You have no idea what kind of scrutiny I’ve endured. Way worse than last night. And it makes me sad that you think I’m made of sugar and not able to handle this. I’m stronger than you think, Trav. And I really thought you would know that. And I’m done playing the part of the broken little girl who needs saving. I don’t need to be saved.” 

He just shakes his head. He can feel pure anger radiating from her. He knows that anything he says now will be twisted by her anyways. And he truly hates when she’s like this. 

The big black car comes to a stop at a red light. He looks out of the window and in contrast to the beautiful Las Vegas sun, the weather in Nashville today is cloudy. Cloudy and humid. The perfect temperature for a good fight with someone you care deeply about. 

“I know you can handle all of it.” he replies surprisingly calm for her taste. “And I know you can probably handle even more. Completely on your own. But I just don’t want you to. That’s all I was trying to say. I’m on your team, if you remember.” 

Taylor swallows, not saying anything else. 

~

“You ready?” 

Travis is standing in the hallway of her Nashville apartment. He’s checking his hair for a moment, taking a look at the golden rolex on his arm. It’s late. Very late if they want to make a quick stop to pick up Andrea’s dog before heading to her house for dinner. The rest of the afternoon has passed by horribly slow. After arriving at Taylor’s Nashville condo, he’s made his way to the gym and managed to ignore her as much as he could to clear his head for a while. Tay clearly didn’t want to speak to him either, disappeared into her bedroom and pretty much stayed there ever since. When he walked past the open bedroom door on his way to take a shower earlier, he could find her passed out in bed whilst some tv show was running in the background. As mad as he is at her, he’s just glad she’s been able to rest. She needed it. And he can’t believe she’s now dragging herself to a family dinner after last night. She almost got no sleep after being drugged, just got off a four hour flight. But it seems that she was right. She is stronger than anyone he knows. He just wishes she could see that sometimes, she doesn’t have to be strong. Sometimes, it’s okay to admit that you’re worn out and sad.

“Give me one second.” she yells back from the kitchen. With his beige pants and white t-shirt, Travis feels almost too dressed up, which wasn’t even planned for tonight. After all, he wants to be himself around her family. But he had this outfit picked out for her when they left KC two days ago. She loves whenever he’s dressed like this. And she knows how excited she is to share the news with her wider family today. 

Travis takes a few steps into the rustic kitchen and finds her standing in front of the huge flower bouquet her assistant has picked up for her. After all, today is her aunt Maureen’s birthday and she doesn’t want to go see her with empty hands. 

Travis just stands in the door frame, watches her cut the flower stems while being in her own little world, and he can’t help but feel the urge to just go up to her and hug her from behind. But he’s too proud to just let it go like this. They need to properly talk about their fight, before acting like nothing happened. Still, he can’t help but think about how beautiful she looks. Her curly hair is in a loose bun. She’s wearing a long dress with sunflowers on it and a pair of yellow sandals that match her dress perfectly. He also notices that she’s wearing her engagement ring. A rare occasion of her feeling safe enough in her environment to show it off. It consoles him in a way. As mad as he is, she’s still going to be his wife. They belong together. No matter how bad one of their fights may get. 

“Do you want me to put anything into the car?” 

“Yeah, can you grab the bag right there? That’s the wine and the stuff from Whole Foods.” she mumbles, still busy fixing the flowers. He nods, was just about to grab the big plastic bag next to her when he notices her stopping what she does for a moment. Instead, she just holds onto the counter in front of her, taking a deep breath. For a second he looks at her, worried. She just let the flowers drop into the sink, isn’t moving. 

“You okay?” 

She doesn’t answer him. Again, she just takes a deep breath, then nods with a shaky breath. 

“Hey, Tay.” 

He can clearly see that she’s dizzy, trying to catch herself again. He drops the plastic bag on the counter immediately, walks up to her and places his hand protectively on her back. 

“I’m just.. can you get me a glass of water, please?” she says with a shaky voice and Travis nods. Once more, he’s worried. He knew she wasn’t okay. He knows she hates to admit it, but she is not a hundred percent fine. She should stay home and take care of herself. But he’s done telling her that. 

“You sit down for a moment.” 

With a hand in her back and the other one securely holding her cold and sweaty hand, he helps her sit down on one of the chair around the dining table right next to them. She’s seen the look on his face, knows that he’s worried sick again. And she hates it. She hates having to be the weak one of the two again. A burden. A broken little girl who needs saving. 

“I’m just.. a bit dizzy. I’ll be fine in a second, don’t worry.” 

Travis doesn’t say anything, just reaches for a glass from the shelf next to the sink, pours some filtered water into it and comes back handing it to her. 

“Here.” 

“Thanks.” she mumbles, reaches for the glass and starts jugging it down. He notices her hands shaking slightly. He sighs, crouches down in front of her for a moment and places his hands on her knees. She empties the whole glass, then carefully places it on the wooden table next to her. She breathes heavily after putting the glass down, then leans back and relaxes for a moment. Her eyes close for a moment. Travis moves his hands on her knees gently, looking at her with empathy. He knew that going to this dinner was a bad idea. It already is. He reaches for both of her hands now, moving his thumbs up and down for a moment. 

“I know we can both be assholes, but you know what? You’re stubborn as hell on top of that.” 

She opens her eyes again, looks down at him. She tries not to smile at him, but almost cracks up. And he notices.

“I just.. I haven’t seen my family in a while with tour and everything. I need this. I need them to feel.. grounded. They also haven’t seen my ring yet. I just..” 

“I know you want to go, baby. That’s why we’ll go. But just.. just tell me when you want to leave. Okay?” 

She nods, a little smile on her face. 

“Want some more?” he asks, pointing to the now empty water glass. She nods. Travis gets up and goes up to the kitchen sink again to refill it. She just watches him standing there right by the sink in his cotton pants, looking really presentable for her family. He’s not just handsome today, but the look in his face makes her feel things. She feels horrible all of the sudden. She knows that he worries, and it shouldn’t be something to hold against him. But there’s this anger inside of her. And she doesn’t even know where it comes from. But it’s there. She’s angry at him, angry at herself.

Travis makes his way back and hands her the glass of water. She takes one sip, then reaches for his big warm hand against whilst he just stands there in front of her chair now, watching her finish her glass once more. 

“I’m sorry for being a stubborn asshole. But you’re also a stubborn asshole, sometimes.” she mumbles. 

“Guess we’re a good fit then.” he replies, forcing a little smile out of her. 

“Let’s talk about this when we get home. Don’t want to ruin this night for everyone.”

He nods, allowing himself to look into her eyes for the first time since their fight today. She smiles gently, a little peace offer from her side. She gets closer to him and her smile requests a small kiss from him. He gets closer to her, pressing his mouth onto hers. She feels relieved, intertwines both of their hands for a moment.

“I’ll take the flowers and you take the grocery bag?” she asks him, gets up with his help and already makes her way back to the kitchen sink in which she just frantically dropped the flowers a few minutes ago. 

“Yeah, let me get that.” he says, reaches for the bags on top of the counter. Taylor suddenly notices another red bag with the KC logo in his hand while reaching for the flowers for her aunt. 

“What’s that?” 

“That’s the jersey. For Jett.” 

Taylor looks at him a little touched, can’t believe he remembered. Her eight year old baby cousin Jett is a huge Patrick Mahomes fan and asked Travis on Christmas if he can get him a signed jersey. She can’t believe he remembered. Can’t believe that this is how thoughtful he is with her family. 

“You remembered? Oh my god, he will be estatic.” she gushes. 

“Yeah, got it signed and got him a cap and an autograph as well.” 

Taylor smiles at him while walking towards the door. 

“Thanks for remembering. It’s so sweet.” 

“Hey, this is for my guy Jett, not you.” 

She rolls her eyes, but smiles, and leaves the house together with him. 

~

“Oh my god, come here!” 

Taylor giggles while entering the house with Travis, two huge bags of groceries and presents, a bouquet of magnolia flowers and one freshly trimmed Dalmatian with them. Taylor can already hear her mom laughing from the kitchen as her aunt and godmother Alison makes her way towards her niece and hugs the blonde tall woman as tight as humanly possible. 

“Show me that ring. I want to see that ring right now.” 

Taylor laughs, and so does Travis right behind her. He knew that their engagement would be the number one topic of the evening. Whilst Taylor is busy handing the big bouquet to Maureen before showing everyone her engagement ring, Trav just quietly makes his way to the kitchen, passing the grocery bags to Andrea who’s standing by the stove. 

“Trav, you are the best. Thank you so much. Come here, honey.” she takes the bags from him, placing them on her marble kitchen counter and pulls him in for a big hug. 

“You look good. Did you let your hair grow?” 

“I did.” he smiles shyly, when he already feels Scott padding his shoulders from behind. 

“Trav, good to see you.” Scott pulls him in for a hug and Travis can’t believe his eyes. Scott is wearing one of the vintage KC crewneck sweater he got him last year. He can’t believe he’s wearing it for dinner with his Eagles supporting family. 

“You have just made my day, big guy” he pulls him in for another hug. Just in that second, Taylor enters the kitchen, asking her mom for a vase. Andrea just presses a kiss on her daughter’s cheek and takes the flowers from her. 

“Hi sweetheart.” Scott says, ready to hug his daughter but Taylor just looks at his outfit in shock and awe at the same time. Her mouth wide open, looking back from Travis to her dad.

“What do you say about that, huh? He’s officially joined the team.” Travis says proudly to his fiancé, still can’t believe he’s been able to fully pull Scott to the right side of history.

“That’s a statement, dad. How does Andrew feel about this.” she laughs, already looking for her uncle in the living room who will most likely not be too amused about his outfit choice. After all, he still hasn’t digested the 2023 loss against the Chiefs. And Travis being a part of the family now hasn’t really soothed this wound yet. It probably never will. But her dad now also moving to the dark side will definitely not make this better. 

“He hasn’t said anything to me all day.” Scott laughs, and so does Trav. He high fives the older man and Taylor just shakes her head in disbelief. It’s safe to say that her dad has never loved any boyfriend more than Trav. 

“Honey, where the hell are you? We need to see the ring. Now.” Maureen now yells into the kitchen and everyone starts laughing. Taylor smiles at her mom, who proudly looks at her daughter. Trav watches her walk to the group of women all gathered up next to the dining table, ready to inspect her hand.

The sudden gasp coming from the living room makes the three people in the kitchen laugh. 

“Oh my god, darling, it’s huge.” 

“Wow, is this a whole ass diamond?” 

“Trav, how many carats is this thing? Fifty?” Alison yells back into the kitchen, and Taylor looks back at him and blushes. He smiles at the round of women, even Andrew and Jett just look at the ring in pure fascination. 

“Nah, just ten.” he mumbles, walking up to where his fiancé stands. 

“Ten?” Andrew asks in shock and now it’s Trav who blushes. “That’s.. what? Half a million?” 

“Andrew!” Maureen just rolls her eyes at her husband being so rude and asking Travis how much he paid for Taylor’s engagement ring whilst Taylor is standing right there. 

“Maybe. Maybe more.” Trav smiles, placing a hand in Taylor’s back. He can see that she’s in awe again, almost uncomfortable to know that he spent so much money just for her. And he loves that about her. He loves that she has so many good reasons to not be uncomfortable about it, but she is. 

“I just wanted the best for my lady.” 

Taylor blushes, and smiles at him. For the first time really after today’s fight. She feels him get closer, pressing a gentle kiss onto her head. She leans in to him for a moment and it feels like reconnecting. Even though they had a bad fight today, they still love each other. They always will. 

“It’s fine though. Tay needs to buy groceries for the next five to ten years, and my bank account will hopefully recover.” he jokes and everyone laughs a bit, even Taylor. 

“I love it so much.” she looks at her ring again. “It’s weird, because every time I look at it it becomes even more stunning. Just.. literally how I envisioned my engagement ring when I was a little girl. Means so much to me. I think it’s because.. like.. I will wear this every day for the rest of my life. Like, no matter how old I am, I will forever have this on my finger now.” she smiles at her ring, then back at Travis. He just reaches for her hand with her ring and kisses her hand gently. Her aunts surrounding her just smile at the two of them. But beneath all the giggles and laughs of her aunts, Taylor hasn’t missed her dad’s look from the end of the room. Her dad, mom and Austin have seen the ring before. But his watery eyes, his little smile, and how he quickly left the room to not get too emotional right now hasn’t remained unnoticed by her. 

“Alright, who wants a drink?” Andrea calls from the kitchen and the little crowd surrounding Taylor and Travis slowly dissolves. 

She still smiles at her ring one last time, and Travis notices. He quietly smiles at her too, then leans in to press his lips against her bangs to kiss her once. 

“You are still a stubborn asshole, but I love you.” he whispers, and she giggles as he walks away to get himself a drink. 

~

Travis stands right next to Austin, trying to focus on their current conversation about their favorite childhood movies. After Austin made him the best Christmas present ever last year, in the form of his favorite DVD, the two of them really connected on their taste in movies. And he enjoys connecting with her family, getting closer to them and understanding more and more why she loves them so much. It’s gotten dark outside now. The beautiful, if cloudy summer day slowly coming to an end. He struggles to focus on Austin talking, feels his eyes every so often wandering off to Taylor. The majority of her family, including her, are sitting outside on the patio around the big family table. Andrea has lid up candles all over the terrace and it couldn’t be cozier around the house right now. Taylor definitely has her taste for interior design from her mother. Andrea is the only other person he knows who can instantly turn a place into a home. By making it warm and cozy. 

“Austin, Trav, do you want red wine or white wine?” Scott asks the two boys standing in the doorframe to the kitchen. He’s just made his way inside to get more drinks for everyone. Austin pats Travises shoulder, just follows his dad to help. 

For a moment, Travis just stands there alone, able to look outside through the big kitchen window. He can see Taylor sit on the side of the big round table. She looks tired and drained. He noticed that she barely touched any of the food tonight. Her mother has made a comment about Taylor’s lack of appetite earlier, and it surprised him that she didn’t react. Instead, she’s been sitting there, drinking one glass of wine after the other. And it makes him angry. It frustrates him. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since she’s been attached to an IV drip. Yet she’s sitting here, not taking care of her body, ignoring her health, pretending like last night never happened, after making him feel like crap for caring about her earlier today. He loves her. He loves her more than anyone else in this world, and he knows that she usually appreciates him caring for her. But her words today really stuck with him. He won’t be able to make this right for her, unless she wants to make it right herself.

Travis slowly makes his way outside to join the family. Taylor has saved a seat for him next to her. He just sits down, already feels her cold hand land on his arm. She pulls him closer, presses a kiss on his lips while listening to her cousin’s story about her weird neighbours. She tastes like white wine. Their fingers intertwine immediately and he can feel the shivers coming from her. 

“Want me to get you a blanket?” 

She nods immediately. She’s drunk. He can tell by the look in her eyes. 

“Thanks, baby.” 

Travis gets up and Andrea already points him to the where the TV blanket is at inside her house. He can already hear the conversation around the table shift while reaching for the blanket with his hands and making his way outside again.

“Darling, it’s still in the 70s right now. How can you be freezing?” Alison asks with worry on her face, everyone now turning to Taylor who still shivers slightly. She feels a bit overwhelmed suddenly, whilst Travis makes his way outside again. He places the blanket around her shoulders, helps her warm up a little. 

“Well, guess that’s what happens when you don’t sleep at night and not eat anything during the day.” he mumbles, and the second these words have left his mouth is when he knows it was a mistake. Taylor suddenly doesn’t say anything anymore, just signals him to let go. She reaches for the ends of the blanket and warms herself now. An awkward silence is suddenly surrounding the table. 

“Why, did you not sleep well, honey?” Andrea now asks, can immediately feel the tension between her daughter and her fiancé. She just shakes her head annoyed, reaching for her wine glass. 

“I’m fine, mom. Just didn’t sleep well last night.” 

Travis doesn’t say anything, just pours himself another glass of wine and keeps on listening to the conversations. He knows she’s mad about his comment, but he was right. After everything she’s been through last night she should take care of herself. Not this. 

It takes one more hour of Taylor sitting under the blanket and listening to everyone’s conversations while ignoring him, until she feels her eyes shut down fully. Travis keeps on looking over to her, and notices that she’s close to passing out on the chair next to him. The warm blanket doesn’t really help her not get more and more sleepy. He knows she’s mad about his previous comment, but he decides to ignore her pout from before, just wanders with his hand to her head and fixes a curly strand of  hair behind her ear. 

“Wanna head home?” he asks then, and Taylor nods. After all, the majority of guests have already left and Taylor needs to go to bed. She can feel herself having reached her limits for today. And as angry as she is with Travis, she doesn’t argue, just thankfully accepts his arm around her waist, guiding her inside to say goodbye to the rest of her family before finding her purse and making her way out of the family house. As soon as they both approach the car, Travis holds the door open for her, making sure she gets in safely before wandering to his side of the backseat. The car starts and Travis finds her fumbling with her seat belt. 

“Need any help?” 

“Leave me alone.” she mumbles and he sighs, just leans his head back and shakes his head. He’s in pure disbelief that she still finds the strength in herself to fight with him. He really can’t believe it. He knows this is the alcohol speaking in her but he’s tired. Tired of her making this so difficult for both of them. 

“I literally have known you for a full year now but I’ve never witnessed you the way you are today.” he says, full of anger and hurt. She doesn’t reply for a moment, just takes out her phone, pretending to be busy. 

“All I did last night was take care of you, get you safely to your hotel room, call you a doctor, give you the time you need to recover, get you food, get you water, tell you to take care of yourself, spend time with your family. And all you do is treat me like a fucking idiot, accuse me of wanting you to be weak, telling me i’m an asshole. Seriously, is that what you think I deserve, Tay?” 

“Well, you had no problem calling me out in front of my entire family when I specifically asked you not to. Thanks a lot for that by the way.” 

“It was literally the truth. After last night, you.. you didn’t eat, you had at least three glasses of wine and..” 

“Since when are you the food police? Since when do I need your permission to drink or not drink or eat or not eat? Did I miss something? I’m in a relationship Trav, not prison.” she yells at him and he looks at her but finds no words. He has no idea who this person next to him is. But what he really understands in this moment, is that she’s not okay. Last night must have shook her more to her core than he could’ve ever imagined. There’s no other explanation for this mean, hurtful, insensitive version of his girlfriend today. She’s never, not once, said anything like this to him.

“It’s literally impossible to talk to you right now.” he just mumbles, clearly pissed off, just looking out of the car window. 

A few minutes later, the car comes to a stop inside the garage of her Nashville apartment. Security helps them out of car and into the elevator, and in less than two minutes, they both stand in her penthouse apartment and Taylor turns the little kitchen light on.

“I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight.” 

“Yes, please.” she just replies, doesn’t even look at him. “Also, no need to wake me before your flight tomorrow. Just.. do whatever you want.” she adds, and leaves him speechless once more. Just yesterday she told him how sad she was that he will need to leave to go to LA for a couple of days to meet with his agency and discuss a few upcoming projects. Just yesterday she was thinking about accompanying him for a day, just to fly back to Europe after that. Just yesterday, she was the person he fell so deeply in love with. And he can’t seem to find her anywhere right now. 

“Thanks, Tay. You can call me when you are yourself again.” 

Taylor doesn’t reply, just grabs one of the water bottles from her fridge and makes her way upstairs, leaving him to himself. 

~

She wakes up suddenly, her heart racing, her breathing patterns almost as fast as humanly possible. It takes a second for her to realize where she is, to realize that it was just a bad dream. For a moment, she sits up and reaches for her phone. 3:38am. She falls back onto her pillow, just realizes now how sweaty she really is. Her hand wanders to her forehead, and for a moment she just lays there and wipes the sweat from her forehead. The entire pillow is wet, just like the part of their blanket she just slept under. She swallows hard, needs to take a deep breath to remind herself that that was only a dream. She was on stage, in a stadium, and everyone of the thousands of people in front of her were people she knew somehow. Faces she once knew, faces she once trusted, people she used to love. And they all started to come for her, trying to kill her in the most horrific ways. There were knives, and guns. Ropes and pills. There was choking, there was strangling. And she had to just let it happen. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t run. She couldn’t scream. Her body was limb. All she could do was watch it happen to her. She was all alone. Nobody cared for her. Nobody gave her mercy. 

For a moment, she cradles her head in her hands, feels the tears coming in. She looks around in the dark, realizing that Travis must have come into the bedroom at some point because his pillow is missing. She can’t believe it. She can’t believe they fought like this. Just in this moment, Olivia meows from the end of the room, already jumping onto the bed. With tears in her eyes, Taylor comforts her, realizing then that she’s freezing. After all, she managed to sweat through the thick material of her chiefs shirt. With shaking hands, she gets up, walks into her walk in closet and reaches for another one of his big shirts. For a moment, she holds the fabric close to her nose, breathes it in. It smells just like him. Him. 

The only person on this planet who would’ve fought for her. Who would’ve tried his best to keep these thousands of people from torturing her. He would’ve done his best to shield her. And what does she do? Push him aside. Hurt him exactly where it hurts him the most. She loves how emotional he is. Loves what a good person he is. How loving he is. And instead of worshipping him for it, she managed to make him feel like absolute crap about it.

With a tear streaming down her face, she pulls the sweaty shirt from her body, pulls the new shirt over her naked torso and turns the light off again. Her vision is blurry from her tears now and for a moment, Taylor hesitates. She then decides to make her way down the dark hallway, until she reaches the guest room. To her surprise, she can see the nightlight still being on, and as soon as she approaches the door frame, she can find him tucked into bed, fully awake, watching something on tv. Benjamin is sleeping on the carpet next to him. He always loves being near Travis. 

She knocks on the door once, and he looks at her in surprise. 

“You’re up?” 

“Yeah, can’t sleep.” he replies. 

She doesn’t say anything, just slowly steps in. He can immediately see her moist hair standing from her head in all directions. Her eyes are red and watery, and he knows something is up. 

“Are you..” 

“Can we talk?” she says says with a breaking voice, and he can hear the tears immediately. He sits up and nods at her.

“Sure.” 

She sits down in bed next to him, and he can see a tear running down her cheek. 

“Are you sweaty or did you take a shower?” 

“I had a really bad nightmare. I’m.. I’m really sweaty and disgusting, sorry.” she cries, just looking at her fingers. He can’t help but smirk over her comment, his finger already wandering to the little curl standing from her head, playing with it once. 

“Don’t apologize. I’m sorry you had a nightmare.” 

He can clearly see that she’s crying, and as much as he hates to see her this way, he appreciates that they can finally talk. 

“I’m really sorry, Trav.” she mumbles then and looks up at him and right into his eyes. There she is again. The soul he loves so much. She’s still there. 

“I’m sorry, too.” 

“No, no. You didn’t.. you didn’t do anything. You literally are the best person. And.. I was just so horrible to you.” she whimpers quietly. 

Trav’s hand slowly wanders onto her neck, stroking her moist hair behind her neck. She’s got goosebumps all over her skin. She must be freezing. 

“Come here.” he mumbles, already pulling her into his arms. He hugs her for what feels like an eternity, and he can feel her little cries on his shoulder.

“Can you forgive me, Trav. I.. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me. I..”

“Of course. I love you so much, baby girl.” he whispers into her ear and kisses her head a few times. “I’m also sorry. For.. for some of the things I said. I can get really mean when I’m mad. I was also overreacting. I know it doesn’t help you when I pretend like you almost died last night. It’s just.. I worry too much about you. And seeing you knocked out the way I did last night was just scary. I should’ve not.. not kept on telling you how bad it was. Wasn’t really helpful of me.” 

She shakes her head, slowly lets go of him. She really looks destroyed right now. Her hair everywhere, her face red from crying. 

“No, no. I love how much you care for me. I literally have never had this with anyone. No one’s ever cared for me like you do.” she says, a tear streaming down her face. With his finger he wipes the tear away, both of his big hands now placed in hers. 

“It’s just.. I feel like most of the time, I have the entire world against me. Because it’s not just fans, Trav. It’s stalkers. It’s crazies, people who threaten to kill me and my family. But.. I’ve been able to build a team around me to pretend like I’m safe. Truth is I’m never safe. Last night was a reminder that.. I can have the best people around me, you included, and if someone wants me dead they literally can if they really want to.” she cries, and it kills him. The thought of her not feeling safe just kills him. 

“I just had a dream that everyone in front of the eras stage wanted to kill me. Strangle me, shoot me, kill me with a knife, poison me. And some of these people were people I once knew. It’s just.. I’m really fucked up, Trav. I know you fell in love with me because you think I’m this happy, pretty, funny person but truth is I’m literally a shot deer on the hunt most of the time and..” 

“Hey, Tay. Stop it.” he interrupts her, not able to stand her crying like this. She covers her face in her hands and he just pulls her closer, hugging her tightly once more. 

“I didn’t just fall in love with the happy, pretty, funny Tay. I also love the fucked up Tay. The one who tries to push me away when it gets ugly. And I also love Taylor Swift the CEO. I also love hormonal Tay. She’s a gem. She bakes all day and cries at everything.” He can feel her laugh once between her tears. 

“What I’m trying to say is… I love you, no matter what. And at the end of the day, I hate to break it to you but no one is ever safe. You are not, and I’m not either. But we’re on this rollercoaster called life together, baby, and we get to learn and grow from everything that happens. Last night happened. And it was horrible. Let’s cry about it today, let’s sit down with your security team tomorrow and we’ll see what we can do to never have something like this happen again. Let’s talk about it. To the people you love, who support you. To a therapist, someone who can help you deal with it. I think these things are just.. life, baby. Unfortunately, this is life. But how we deal with it, that’s what we can decide and control.” 

She listens to him talking and she can’t believe he’s real. Like a child in a candy store, Taylor just looks up at him, clings onto his lips and follows every word he says. She can’t believe he told her once that he’s not good with words. Can’t believe he thinks of himself as the dumb little brother who’s nothing but a fuck up. When in reality, he’s more mature than she could ever be. Quite literally the most intelligent person she’s ever met. 

“I’m honestly really fucked up since last night, too. Because I had to see the person I love most in the world completely unconscious and drugged by a stranger. And you know how guilty I felt. But.. I had a good cry this morning. As you know. And I felt better after that. And instead of trying that, you literally just pretended to be fine all day, and instead turned into a wine drunk monster that scared the living shit out of me.” 

She chuckles again, now wiping another tear away. She nods. He’s so right. She can’t believe how right he is in this moment. 

“I was so angry at you today. I think I was more angry at myself. For.. for letting this happen to me.” 

“Some things are not in your control, baby.” 

She doesn’t say anything, takes a deep breath and a last shaky breath escapes her. Travis looks into her eyes, and all she can find is safety. Safety and forgiveness. 

“You know what’s really weird?” she says quietly, nothing but the tv light flickering in the dark and his warm hands securely on her back now. She felt so cold in bed before, but now she’s warm again. 

“I used to think I felt safe with you because you’re just a giant NFL player who can break anyone’s nose in a split second and is taller than anyone in my team.” he laughs quietly at her statement, both his hands still safely around her. 

“But right now, I actually feel like, I feel safe with you because you’re.. just.. a good person. You.. you would never hurt me. You just.. love me, even when I’m a bitch and you pick up my mom’s smelly dog and get my cousin a jersey he’s asked for half a year ago and…” she feels herself getting emotional again, her hands wandering to his cheeks. 

“Maybe you can’t save me from the world or myself, but you can still make me feel so so safe, Trav. No one’s ever made me feel this way before.”

He smiles at her, his lips finding her forehead again. He kisses her curly bangs a few times. His big hand securely on her head. 

“Forgive me?” 

He looks at her, just smiles. It’s not even a question for him. 

“Of course. Nothing to forgive you for. Let’s go to bed, baby girl.”  

She doesn’t argue, just nods. She’s exhausted. Deeply exhausted. Emotionally and physically. 

“We can’t go to the bedroom though.” she mumbles, slowly getting comfortable under his warm sheets right next to him now. 

“Why not?” 

“I literally got so sweaty that all of our sheets are drenched now. I’m disgusting, baby. We have to sleep here.” 

She makes him laugh once more, and he just nods, turns off the tv with one click and helps her get comfortable under the sheets of the guest room bed. With one swift motion, he pulls her closer, lets her be the little spoon while using his arm as her pillow and holding her hand tightly. It takes less than three minutes and she’s fully asleep. With his nose deep in her naked skin, he closes his eyes and allows himself to drift off, too. 

~

Taylor opens her tired eyes, needs a moment to realize why she’s in the guest bedroom of her Nashville home. Her head moves once, and she pulls the soft blanket closest again. She yawns once, suddenly feels a massive amount of relief on her chest. She’s so glad they could talk last night. So glad she had a good cry. So glad she opened up to him. So glad that someone like him is her partner in life. 

Taylor’s head is still pounding and she feels run down. But it’s okay. He was right. It’s okay to take a moment to cry before moving on. 

As if she was run over by a truck once more, Taylor turns around, mentally and physically drained by the last two days, almost feeling unable to move. She wonders why Trav has left the bed already. Is it really so late? She suddenly remembers that he had to catch his flight to Los Angeles. 

Frantically, she searches for her phone to check the time. She left it in the bedroom. Did he really leave without waking her, because that’s what she threw against his head in all her anger yesterday? She can’t believe herself sometimes. Can’t believe how horrible she treated him yesterday. She feels herself getting sad again. She can’t believe she won’t see him for the next week. Can’t believe she’s all by herself now to deal with all of this. She knows she’s not alone, she knows he’s always just a phone call away. But she’d be lying if she said she’s okay to be on her own for a while now, when really: she’s not. The lump in her throat is growing bigger and bigger. She slowly sits up, then lands on her feet and rubs her eyes to wake up. She slowly stands up to search for her phone in the bedroom, which she left after her horrible nightmare last night. But instead of making her way back to the bedroom, Taylor notices something else. There’s a specific smell coming from downstairs. Did he leave her breakfast? Barefoot and wearing nothing else but his huge shirt and her thong, she slowly walks downstairs. A smile creeps up on her face when she finds a pink bag from her favorite breakfast shop on the counter. He got her her favorite breakfast sandwich and a fresh juice before leaving. She steps up, happily unwraps the sandwich and was about take a bite when the front door suddenly opens and the big man she knows and loves so much casually makes his way inside. 

“You’re up!” he says with a smile on his face and Taylor looks at him in confusion. He just takes off his sunglasses casually, places them on top of the counter. She turns her head to the clock on the wall. 1.26PM. What the hell is he still doing here? 

“Where.. why are you not in LA? Did you miss your flight?” she instantly feels responsible for it, after all she was the one keeping him up for two nights in a row. 

“I cancelled it. Just went to the Apple Store a few blocks from here to pick up a charger. For some reason, mine broke this morning. I checked yours but somehow yours doesn’t fit into mine.” 

She watches him unpack his gadgets, not impressed by her confused look at all. 

“How are you feeling? Did you sleep better after your nightmare?” he asks, unpacking his charger and trying to fit it into the outbox of his MacBook on the counter. 

“Trav, you.. why are you not in LA? What do you mean you cancelled it?” she doesn’t understand what is going on. He was so excited to fly out and meet his agents to chat about a few upcoming movie projects. He just steps closer to her holding the tuna sandwich in her hand, the one he bought her this morning. He takes a bold bite out of the sandwich, just laughing at her outraged face. His full mouth wanders to her soft cheek and he steels her one quick kiss. 

“I cancelled it because..” he chews, still standing right in front of his sleepy fiancé who looks at him in confusion. “I want to be there for you. I realized I can do these meetings online. And.. I think it would be good for me to be here the next week. And when you fly to Paris, I’ll go back to KC for a few days and visit you in Sweden to see the shows.”

She doesn’t really know what to say, just places the sandwich back on the counter in front of her. 

“But.. I don’t want you to miss out on..” 

“I’m not, Tay. I promise.” he assures her. “Coffee?” he asks her and she nods. Still tired from the past days, she just sits down on one of the bar stools, watches him work his magic with the coffee machine. 

“How are you feeling though? You didn’t answer my question.” he asks. 

“I’m happy you’re here. But.. I also feel weird about you cancelling your work thing for me.” 

He doesn’t say anything, just finishes getting her cup of coffee ready and placing it right in front of her. 

“Why is that?” he asks, she and she shruggs her shoulders. 

“You shouldn’t have to jeopardize your career for me.”

He chuckles once, watches her sip on the hot coffee once. He can tell she enjoys this beverage a lot. Both her hands around the big cup, almost as if she’s warming herself from within. 

“I’m not jeopardizing anything, Tay. It’s called priorities.” 

She places her cup in front of her again and looks at him. He just stands close to her, his hand casually on her naked bum, his mouth finding the little spot in her neck he loves kissing so much. 

“You’re my priority right now. Other times, football might be the priority again. But right now, my priority is to be with my future wife to support her. Very simple. I can easily move these meetings to late August. It’s nothing that needs to be done right now.” 

She can’t believe his words right now, can’t believe it can be this simple and logical. It’s this moment she realizes: It’s possible. If you want to, you can. If you are someone’s priority, they will let their actions speak. It’s something she never really got right before, it seems. 

Her small hand lands on his big one, right on top of her kitchen counter. And she smiles. For the first time in days, she really does. She gets closer to him, kissing him passionately. Both of her lips meeting his. Her eyes closed and her hand on his cheek. After a few seconds she pulls back, his forehead meeting hers. 

“I’m so glad you’re here.” 

He smiles at her, can tell she’s getting emotional. He just places his hand on her cheek now, kisses her forehead a few times.

“I’ll always be here, no matter what. You and our family will always have priority. I promise. Ride or die, baby.” 

The End.

[sevensoulmates]

Buddie 7x01 Meta

Okay! Finally, I was able to watch the full episode uninterrupted and have had a couple days to gather my thoughts. Quite simply this episode was fucking fantastic. My meta does sometimes include some spec, so if that's not your thing feel free to ignore those parts. Those of you who follow me know I write long ass essays, so fair warning for a long meta under the cut. ((Also idk how to make gifs, so enjoy my shitty screenshots)).

First, I love to see Buck and Eddie back at it again in their natural element being partners on a scene.

This was very obviously a call back to season 2, even down to the positioning, having Buck watch Eddie be competent in defusing a bomb. Buck has complete faith in Eddie's abilities, it's the fighter pilot whom he distrusts. In the end, they narrowly avoid getting blown up, just like they did in 2x01. This one scene re-establishes the Buck/Eddie work dynamic and shows how they inherently trust each other on and off the field.

Next, we get a scene of Buck and Eddie getting dressed in the locker room. Notably, Buck is fully dressed and Eddie is without his shirt until halfway through the scene. Buck also keeps his eyes on Eddie's naked torso pretty much through the whole shirtless section. This is another blatant callback to season 2x01 when Buck's first introduction to Eddie is when he's shirtless. This draws attention specifically to Eddie's physical attractiveness and how that affects Buck. This scene is odd to have with Eddie half-naked if we're then gonna make comments later on about "sexual tension" with friends, no?

In the same scene we are reintroduced to Buck and Eddie's separate love lives. Eddie is just now learning that Buck and Natalia broke up, and gives an odd facial expression that looks far too much like vindication. We know from the graveyard scene in 6x17 that Eddie wasn't really a fan of Buck's relationship with Natalia (I don't think there's ever been a relationship Buck's had where Eddie has legitimately been happy about it, which is weird if they're just friends, right?) so to him, this was always coming down the road. He seems proud that Buck was able to end it this easily.

Meanwhile, Eddie's going on a "not-date" with Marisol to chaperone Christopher's date with Penny. It's telling to me that Eddie doesn't classify this as a date with Marisol, but Buck does. Buck considers being at home watching Christopher as a date, and yet he seemingly doesn't classify all the times he's been over at Eddie's hanging out with just him and Chris to be a date? To me, this shows the first big disconnect in Buck/Eddie's brains that the show will likely dismantle this season: what is classified as platonic and what is classified as romantic, and which gender is allowed to be in each category. We'll come back to this when we get to the next scene.

Eddie is very supportive of Buck breaking up with Natalia. He doesn't say it directly to his face, but it's implied that Buck really lost himself when he was with Natalia, hence Eddie's "Welcome back to the land of the living". While Buck did struggle with figuring out his life purpose at the end of season 6, he falsely prescribed that purpose to Natalia. Thankfully, this was rectified here. This also shows significant growth for Buck from his last relationship with Taylor Kelly. Buck was able to identify issues in his relationship quicker and was able to cut the relationship short when he realized it was no longer healthy to maintain for him. I am extremely proud of Buck in this moment, as is Eddie, which is the first of two big moments in this episode where Buck and Eddie really showcase their pride in the other's personal growth. "You were missed" is such a simple yet perfect line for Eddie to give to Buck. To show Buck that Eddie has always seen him, and will always see him, even through personal lows, and will still remain by his side when they come out the other side. I really love this showcase of unconditional love here.

The next time we see Buck and Eddie, the chaperone date has already passed. Eddie and Marisol are seen watching Chris and Penny from behind the wall, but it's highkey awkward to watch and the focus of this scene is really not Eddie/Marisol but rather Chris and Penny and Eddie relaying this info to Buck. I first want to point out that we don't actually get to see Eddie/Marisol's first date, we don't see any subsequential dates, and the first time we DO see her, in an episode meant to be establishing couples, she's so blink-and-you'll-miss-it that I had to try 3 times to get this screenshot because it went by so fast. It's never a good sign when we don't actually get to see the beginnings of a non-established relationship.

Additionally, Eddie/Marisol's relationship is framed WITHIN Eddie recounting the night to BUCK. The important Eddie relationship we're supposed to be paying attention to in this scene is not Eddie/Marisol but Eddie and Buck's. It's not important for us to see Eddie and Marisol hanging out, but it IS important for us to see Eddie TELLING Buck about the night. That isn't insignificant. This means the show is clearly placing far more importance on Eddie/Buck than on Marisol, and for a pointed reason to be revealed hopefully later this season.

This is the only line that Marisol has in the entire episode. This being the one line she has is interesting because it's a callback to Eddie's arc last season ie. "Eddie has no game with women". Christopher makes a pointed comment about it in 6x18. And of course, it's a callback to Performance Anxiety 6x14 where Eddie was being pressured about dating women and 6x17 Love Is In The Air where he once again pressures himself into dating women until he finally settles on Marisol. It's an interesting call back to have, considering this scene could have been considered Eddie successfully dating a woman. And of course this ties into later in this episode where we get the "turning women off" comment, which I'll talk more about later.

Eddie goes on to tell Buck that he didn't really see any difference between Christopher hanging out with his male friends vs hanging out with his female friends. This is drawing attention to two things. The first is a call-back to Buck and Eddie's previous scene where we saw that Buck and Eddie have two different ideas of what constitutes "a date" when it's with a man versus a woman. Buck thinks that an at-home date with Marisol to watch Chris counts as a date, Eddie doesn't. Yet Buck doesn't consider his own at-home "hang-outs" with Eddie and Chris to be a date despite them being far more frequent and more meaningful than what we just saw with Marisol. Eddie also doesn't see it that way. This line is an indicator that both Buck and Eddie have blinders on currently when it comes to their interactions with each other, interactions which very much COULD be considered a date (including the later mentioned "underlying sexual tension") if they had done the same thing with a woman. They're just unable to recognize the truth of it at the moment, and this is clearly demonstrated when Eddie can't tell the difference between Chris having his date with his male friends vs. female. My prediction is that this will become more defined for Eddie by the end of the season or leading into next season.

But it's very interesting that this idea of not being able to recognize the possibility of romance except for the heteronormative options is coming into play now because there's really only one gay way to subvert that.

Which is then doubled down by Buck in the very next scene.

This is blatantly not a true statement. Buck is not only assuming Chris's sexuality, but he's assuming the same would be the case in general, which is not true. Buck knows many queer people, but at the same time, every queer person he knows canonically falls more into the gay-lesbian binary, and not really anywhere in the middle (ie. bi/pan people). It's an oddly heteronormative statement coming from Buck, who is known to be very open-minded and also researches a shit ton? So why are we being shown that Buck has this sort of narrow-mindedness specifically when it comes to the possibility of people being bisexual?

(Spec) Firstly, I think this is to set up for a bisexual Buck arc. It's showing that Buck actually 1.) hasn't ever been with a man before so this is not just a casual bi reveal and 2.) that he's never actually considered it a possibility to have sexual tension with a man before. This is what we in writing call "the character's fundamental misbelief" and it is brought in specifically to be challenged, and I'm near-positive it will be at some point in the season.

Secondly, On the surface, this statement is telling the audience that obviously Christopher would only have tension with his female friends, right? (sarcasm). But what's interesting is that this statement is purposefully gender-neutral. It leaves the real meaning up to the audience to decide. Why? Because this part of the conversation is not really about Christopher. On the surface, yes, but beneath that, this line and the line before it are about Eddie and Buck's relationship with each other. Buck's not out here talking about Christopher having sexual tension with people, and even Eddie recognizes that it's weird to talk about in relation to their child. He's still in the nest for christ's sake! These lines are in relation to Buck and Eddie's friendship and how both of them are blind to the fact that it very much IS possible to have sexual tension with your female AND male friends.

And this is where the gender-neutrality of that phrase gets extra interesting. Because as we've seen before, Buck and (more prominently) Eddie often lack chemistry with their female love interests. It's up for debate, but the general consensus was that most people did not feel any chemistry between Buck/Natalia, and Eddie/Ana or Eddie/Marisol. What's fascinating is that Buck has had chemistry with some of his female love interests, but Eddie hasn't had any since Shannon (and this is not an endorsement of Eddie/Shannon's romantic relationship. I'm not getting into the extreme nuances of that right now.) Some argue Eddie's had chemistry with Felisa or Vanessa, but they aren't the ones Eddie's dating right now, are they? So Eddie, unlike Buck with his female LI's, hasn't really had any sexual tension with Ana or Marisol. The only person that (most) people agree Eddie has had sexual tension with is Buck. And we had a scene with them earlier with Buck watching a half-naked Eddie change too. So in this case, the line might also be a reference to Eddie having chemistry with men, but not really with any of his female LI's. I think the purposeful vagueness here though was a very telling choice on Tim's part.

Additionally, the use of the word "underlying". Underlying implies that the sexual tension isn't overt, but rather is something that lingers unspoken. Under the surface. Subtextual, if you will. Of course, it's possible to have subtextual sexual tension between an M/F pairing. But placing it in the context of this scene, where Buck is being weirdly heteronormative, it feels contradictory. If Buck believes that he (and Chris by proxy) can only have sexual tension with a female friend, why is it something that is hidden under the surface? If anything, due to heteronormativity, the sexual tension between a boy and girl should be plain as day for anyone to see, on the surface, very much textual and with no room for interpretation (ie. "He was a boy, she was a girl, could I make it any more obvious?"). But let's flip this around. With queer pairings and couplings, there's a huge history of their sexual tension and romance only being able to live and breathe in the subtext. This line being spoken between two men that many people for years have pointed out are heavily queer-coded and have a romantically-coded "bro" relationship with each other that so far has only been able to exist in subtext? Tim, you're not sly. I see right through you.

After that, Eddie tells Buck about Christopher seeing 5 girls at the same time. Everyone's shocked and Eddie insinuates that Christopher didn't get this from him. By pointing out that Buck is a reformed playboy (I personally disagree with aspects of this statement but that's neither here nor there), Eddie is implying that Christopher may potentially be getting this trait from Buck. Which is an interesting thing to say to someone if they're not already heavily involved in the process of raising your child. Eddie claims that he's a "nester", which in my mind means someone who is very paternal/maternal, or constantly trying to build the home or the family. ((Sidebar: I googled nesting and apparently it's ALSO a term used in both polyamorous spaces and was later separately coined as a term referring to "where men treat women like they’re in a relationship, but they expect those women to know that it will never lead to real one." I don't interpret this line to mean either of those other definitions, I just think it's interesting that this is what popped up when I googled Nesting)).

Eddie then says he "married the first girl he dated" and Buck instantly volleys back with "think you mean slept with", which is EXTREMELY telling of a few things. First, I want to point out, that I don't believe this is Buck denouncing or disrespecting Shannon's important role in Eddie or Chris's life, but rather recontextualizing it.

We got clarification last season that Eddie fell into his relationship with Shannon almost in the same way that he fell into one with Ana and Marisol. It was heavily implied that Shannon was the pursuer, the one who made their relationship happen. Not Eddie. While Eddie was a little less passive with Ana and Marisol, being the one to ask both of them out, he still exhibits extreme passivity in the furthering of each of these relationships, preferring to "stick it out" rather than actually end it when it's not working. This is the exact same thing he did with Shannon. It's interesting that Buck argues that Eddie married the first girl he slept with rather than the first girl he dated.

Dating someone implies you really genuinely want to form a deep romantic relationship with someone (ie. call back to Buck's line to Maddie "at least when I date someone, I date them"), whereas sleeping with someone does not have to immediately mean wanting to be with them romantically. To me, this implies that while Eddie might've deeply loved Shannon as a friend and eventual mother of his child later and had sexual chemistry with her, the reason why he stayed with her is not because he wanted to continue dating her or being with her because he was IN LOVE with HER but rather because they slept together. And what came about from sleeping with her? A fucking traumatic teen pregnancy.

Both Buck AND Eddie recognize that in this scene (which is huge, especially for Eddie). I'm kinda blown away honestly. It's extremely important for the audience to see that while Eddie did, does and will always love Shannon, it is NOT romantic love, and may have not ever been. Which is FINE. They were literal teenagers for god's sake.

This is once again a recurring theme in Buck and Eddie's story in this episode. Defining what is considered romantic and what is considered platonic AND the possibility of redefining those distinctions years later. And it's interesting that in this case with Shannon, a woman, it's finally being acknowledged that it might not have been as romantic as Eddie may have believed for all these years.

Eddie then asks Buck to be the one to talk to Christopher about his relationship indiscretions. We see Eddie making the active choice to bring Buck deeper into the co-parenting role that's already been established in seasons 2-6. Right after Eddie talks about being a nester, a home-builder, he brings Buck deeper into his family in a parental role. To me, this scene doesn't imply that Eddie can't do it, or that it's out of his wheelhouse, but rather because he feels like Christopher might relate to Buck more about this. But even more so, it shows that Eddie inherently trusts Buck to be the one to talk to Christopher about this, because he's seen how Buck has grown over the years.

Eddie doesn't want Christopher to continue making bad choices in life and he tries to convey this to Buck, but Buck, with his own self-esteem issues, assumes that Eddie doesn't want Christopher to end up like Buck. Which is fascinating because Buck's made it a huge point throughout the series to show that he's grown past his sleeping-around phase (which was never about disrespecting or using women, it was always about Buck's own desire for love and connection that he felt he could only get through sex). And yet with this line, we see that Buck still doesn't realize how far he's come. He still feels like he isn't worth emulating or being someone to look up to. But Eddie does. Eddie sees and loves Buck to his core, and so he points it out to Buck that no, Buck actually didn't become that person, and that Buck is, in fact, worthy of being the one to parent Christopher in this situation. Once again, this is a great moment of showing how these two are able to see past their facades to the truth of each other's issues and provide strength, reassurance, and clarity to each other, as an ideal life partner would be able to do.

Then we get to see this amazing scene of Eddie talking down a panicking woman using his own unique "jello" methods. This coping mechanism tool he walks her through really does sound like something a therapist might teach their patient. Eddie not only is able to admit to having panic attacks but he's able to do it in front of strangers and his team alike with no shame (even a bit of pride at the end). This scene, which could've gotten very awkward very fast, ended up becoming a very sweet, serene moment where we also get to see that love reflected on Buck's face just how proud he is of how far Eddie has come. This episode made a point to show Buck and Eddie recognizing the other's growth and their pride in the other, as well as demonstrate how both are able to be there for the other emotionally in their times of need.

What's interesting is that this is all stuff that we've seen before. Buck and Eddie have been each other's emotional pillars for many years now. This is just a re-establishing episode. We know that this season their relationship is going to be shifting, growing, and showing a new side to it. So I'm intrigued to see how that will manifest given that we have already seen in one episode how Buck and Eddie are each other's closest person. Some might argue that this episode actually frames them to be closer and more emotionally supportive of each other than two of the other canonically romantic couples on the show.

Bathena are shown to be having marital problems in this episode, with Athena worrying she and Bobby might not actually have that much in common outside of the chaos. Madney is shown with pre-martial problems, with Chimney unnecessarily worrying he and Maddie's spark might fizzle out over the years and they might grow to resent each other. I'm not saying either of these relationship problems is really accurate, but it's just interesting to look at in comparison to how Buck and Eddie were framed in this episode, despite not being in a canonical romantic relationship at the moment.

This exchange absolutely took me the fuck out. Because this line did not need to be there. Even for the giggles. It could've even been a line of Buck being sincere and saying that he's proud of Eddie or something. Instead, we get this. "I've never seen a man turn a woman off with such skill". This line connected with the line from Marisol are both callbacks to Eddie's series-long issue with dating women. We get this in conjunction with Buck pointing out that Eddie doesn't really date these women he's in relationships with. He's just with them due to circumstances. Even if the circumstances are of his own making (which could be a symptom of compulsory heterosexuality). Eddie has never once talked about dating women like he's actually attracted to women. I'm so sorry. AND combined with the line where Buck and Eddie actually acknowledge that Eddie wasn't really with Shannon because he wanted to be with her but because of the family they accidentally created. All of this in ONE episode leading up to this line where it's heavily implied that Eddie's skill is his inability to turn women on, and to actually be able to turn them all the way off. And I'm just going to say it, but this line HEAVILY implies queerness. This is the kind of line you'd expect someone to say to a gay man or someone who doesn't actually want the sexual attention of a woman. This, again, in conjunction with Eddie not being able to tell the difference between a date with a woman vs. a man, is all too pointed.

This line alone in a vacuum could maybe not mean queerness, but alongside the whole rest of the episode where beat after beat after beat implies that Eddie has in fact NEVER been in a relationship with a woman 100% of his own active desire for her as a person and not just for what she can provide to his or his son's life?

This points to a very particular direction with Eddie that I'm expecting to see him fight against really hard this season. I would not be surprised if he ends up holding onto Marisol as the last shreds of perceived "normalcy" (ie. heterosexuality) are being threatened. Hopefully, he'll be able to reconcile the truth by the end of the season or going into season 8.

God this is so long and we haven't even gotten to the buddifer scene yet. This part will be a bit more condensed because I'm not really analyzing Chris as a character here or his relationship with Shannon. Maybe I will later.

I'm really loving seeing Christopher become his own person this season. But what really fascinates me here is Chris as a parallel to both Buck and Eddie. Christopher's abandonment trauma is starting to manifest in him through his choices with his love life. The same thing happened with Buck and with Eddie individually. Buck's trauma growing up informed his choices of sleeping around and seeking love from a myriad of individuals who didn't necessarily have his best interest at heart. Eddie's trauma manifested in him being so self-sacrificing that he can't ever choose a relationship for himself, but it always has to be in service of someone else or in pursuit of a perceived "Normal" standard.

In this case with Chris, his trauma is manifesting in a way more similar to Buck's, which is another reason why it's so perfect to see Buck being the one to discuss this with Chris, even though they don't necessarily delve too deep into it. There's no question Buck sees his own issues reflected in Chris. This has been true since 4x08 Breaking Point when Chris runs to Buck's house and confides in Buck his worries about people leaving him. Chris demonstrates a similar issue that Buck and Eddie both hold individually. That being the notion that "it doesn't matter what I do, or how good of a person I am, or how good of a partner I am, I am not worth staying for."

But the difference here is that Eddie and Buck, like the amazing co-parents they are, recognize the problem and take steps to address Christopher's trauma in a way that gives Chris autonomy and isn't condescending or out to make Christopher feel bad about making mistakes. The Buckley parents and the Diaz parents both failed Buck and Eddie in these ways because they blamed their children, never actually took the time to see the underlying issues let alone address them, and made them feel like everything was their fault, even going so far as to actively put their children down over and over and over again. Eddie and Buck get the beautiful chance to break the cycle here with Chris and get to be the parents that they never had.

It was so amazing to watch this episode with Buck and Eddie being supportive partners to each other and supportive parents to Christopher. It was an episode of growth just as much as it was an episode of reintroduction to a new audience. It was also extremely telling of what the future conflicts and themes will likely continue to be for Buck and Eddie for the rest of this season. I'm so excited to see what the rest of this season brings! And thank you from the bottom of my heart, ABC.

[24hlevi]

Hiya I love finding blogs who write for sbg!

Can I request Tyler Hernandez X taller male reader? Reader is always touching Tyler in one way or another and it annoys Tyler to no end. Sorry idk if that's enough info or not 😭

thank you so much for requesting this!! i love tyler so much he is my beloved fr hes mlm IN MY MIND!!!

— GLOW

tyler hernandez (sbg) x male!reader

summary: being tyler's taller bf who is extremely affectionate

warnings/tags: language, internalized homophobia (?), established relationship

• being taller than tyler had some perks, like being able to rest your arm on his head to which he swats your arm away so fast people thought he hated you rather than you two were dating

• tyler is not a very touchy guy in general and he doesn't particularly enjoy a whole lot of PDA, but he can't seem to get genuinely irritated whenever you do touch him

• it annoys him, yes, but it isn't a true irritation unlike if someone (aiden.) tried to do it to him, this is actually what had taylor second guessing tyler's feelings for you, cause she knows if anyone else tried that they would get their shit rocked

• then taylor confronts him on these feelings and he's like "ohmygod what??? no???" and then the next day comes around and your arm is wrapped around his shoulder, he has a scowl on his face but isn't doing anything as the gang stares like 🤨

• tbh tyler probably sees height as a dominant attribute, and he doesn't like feeling like he isn't the dominant one in a relationship being shorter than you, but all you have to do is reassure him a little bit and he'll sulk like a wet cat and just mumble and "okay"

• but tbh it probably also depends on how much taller you are compared to him. idk any of their canon heights but if you're over a few inches he would be borderline insecure about it, but again just reassure him and he'll be okay

• now, tyler may not like affection or PDA in public or at school, he is clinging onto it desperately when you two are alone or at his house, he is literally clinging to you and won't let go

• however he still insists on being the big spoon despite being shorter than you, that or he just lays on his back and lets you cuddle into his side which he always denies he enjoys but he loves it on the inside

• the thing with tyler and PDA in public is that he's a little concerned about how people would react to your relationship. being on the baseball team, he doesn't want being with you to affect either of your after school activities, so he asks you in the beginning to keep it to a minimum

• if you're upset by this, do let him know! he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, he just wants to be sure that nothing happens to you two, even though he would kick anyones ass that tried anything. letting him know of this, he realizes maybe he's just afraid and needs to let go of that, so he does! for you! what a lover boy

• after this talk, tyler would be much more open to PDA in public or at school, but his games/practices are off limits because he needs to "focus" even if he ends up fucking up cause he was too busy paying attention to you on the stands, but he will take a good luck kiss beforehand and one after especially if they win

• that being said, he still always looks like -_- whenever you're touching him around others especially the gang because aiden will always say something and you have to hold tyler back from beating him up

• if you two fall asleep near the others they are all definitely taking pictures of you two to use as blackmail for tyler mainly, and aiden will probably draw on his face and then have to run off when he wakes up

[fairydvsts-blog]

𝐢 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

"i love you" in Taylor Swift's lyrics masterlist

summary; your husband gives JJ a maintenence job at your vacation house and you spend all summer crushing over your hot new employee

warnings; characters are aged up (both characters are in their mid/late 20's), cheating, SMUT, dirty talk, some neck grabbing, female masturbation, overstimulation, squirting, praising, p in v, unprotected sex. I feel like this shit is LONG af!

a/n; english isn't my first language, so you might find mistakes; I'm open to constructive criticism. Enjoy!

It was a very warm afternoon in Outer Banks. The sky was completely clear —there wasn't a single cloud in sight— and the sun was shining brighter than ever, but that was not what had gotten you all hot and bothered.

JJ Maybank, the new maintenance guy, was.

As you were lounging on the deck chair beside the pool, holding some random book you weren't paying attention to in your hands, you couldn't take your eyes off him. Being a hundred per cent honest, it had been that way since your husband hired him a few weeks ago. Luckily for you, neither of them seemed to have noticed yet.

You felt guilty for being attracted to him, though. You had been married for two years, and you were supposed to be in love with your husband, not craving other man's touch. But you couldn't help it. There was something about JJ that was drawing you like a moth to the flame; maybe it was his gorgeous blue eyes, his silky blonde hair, or his ripped muscles, or maybe it was all of them together, either way, you had managed to suppress your feelings for what felt like ages in order to not ruin your wonderful —but really boring— marriage.

Little did you know that your self-control was about to go to shit.

You had tried to focus on your reading for several minutes, and to date, you had failed miserably. Your mind kept going back to earlier that day, when JJ had brushed past you in the hallway, remembering how you had looked right into his alluring eyes, wishing for him to push you against the wall and to fuck you right there and then. You had to cross your legs at the thought, feeling your bikini bottom getting wetter by the second.

It was wrong and forbidden, you knew it, but in some way, that made it more exciting.

You stared at him through your sunglasses, mesmerised by the way his sweaty golden muscles glistened under the sun rays as he mowed the lawn. You were so busy imagining how his wet skin would feel against your own that you hadn't noticed the furtive looks he was giving you.

Your mouth almost watered when you saw him grabbing the hem of his sleeveless t-shirt to take it off. He threw it on the floor next to him and then he reached for the garden hose soaking himself with it to cool off. He ran his big hands through his blonde locks to accommodate his hair after that; the veins of his arms on display for you to see.

You swore you saw it all happening in slowmo. The little smirk that appeared in his face just seconds later while he shortly glanced at you gave you butterflies.

You realised something: he was doing it on purpose.

And, oh lord, that just made you want him even more. You were so horny that, for a moment, you thought you were about to literally combust in the spot.

Without giving it a second thought, you gave into the desires you had been repressing for weeks now.

You dropped your book instantly, grabbing the strings that held your blue bikini top in place to untie them. Your top dropped, leaving you exposed in front of a man that was not your husband, but you couldn't care less about that fact. His eyes widened because of the scene occurring before him, but he didn't look away at any moment, mesmerised by the sight of the woman of his dreams pouring tanning oil over her almost naked body.

He had to be delirious, right? The heat was making him delusional, that must be it.

Whether it was true or not, the boner forming in his trousers was pretty real so he picked up his t-shirt, using it to cover himself before he started walking towards the back door of the house. He had to leave before he did something stupid, like accidentally fucking his boss' wife while he was away on some business trip.

"I have finished for the day, Mrs. Ross. Do yo need something else before I go?" he asked in his way out.

He tried to keep the interaction between the two of you entirely profesional and he even resisted looking at your naked breasts. It was the hardest thing he had done in his entire life, though, because since he had started working for your husband, you were the first thing that crossed his mind when he woke up and the last thing he thought of before going to sleep.

But you knew professionalism had flew out of the window after the show you just put.

"Actually, could you rub some oil on my back?" you asked with a playful smile.

You gave him no time to answer and you handed him the tanning oil bottle, turning around after he took it, leaving him completely speechless. He gulped, his eyes looking directly at your ass, only covered by a really tiny thong, and he knew he was done for.

Leaning over you, he purred the oil on your back. When his hands touched you to spread it over your skin, you closed your eyes and almost moaned like a hormonal teenager. He gently massaged your shoulders, then your waist area and finally he reached your lower back, giving you goosebumps.

When you thought that he was over and that he was going to pull away, he surprised you by grabbing the oil bottle one more time, purring it over your legs. He started massaging your calves, moving up slowly, until he reached your upper thighs and a small moan escaped your lips; it had been too long since the last time you had sex with your husband and you felt like you could come untouched.

He leaned in, you felt his hot breath in your ear and he murmured, "You wouldn't believe how many times I have fantasised about touching you like this, Mrs. Ross."

One of his hands grabbed your ass cheek under your bikini bottom while he started placing wet kisses on your neck, making you whimper again. He had to stop, though, when you turned around to face him; he froze at the thought of you changing your mind about what was about to happen, but when you caressed his cheek and placed a gentle kiss on his neck, next to his ear, all of his fears vanished.

"And you wouldn't believe how many times I've touched myself, wishing it was your fingers instead of mine, Mr. Maybank," you whispered looking right into his blue eyes.

"Fuck."

He grabbed your neck and brought you closer to him, your mouths were so close that they lightly brushed over each other. You felt his breath becoming faster and your heart started pounding like crazy when you saw him licking his lips while looking closely at yours, but you forced yourself to pull away from his touch.

"Someone could be watching us, we should get inside," you suggested.

The last thing you wanted was your husband finding out about you and JJ. This was a one time thing, just to get him out of your system. After that, you would go back to being the perfect loving wife your husband deserved.

He nodded, agreeing with you, and helped you getting up. He reached for his t-shirt to cover your naked form with it before grabbing your hand and taking you inside.

"Be quiet," you asked, while the both of you sneaked around the massive house, trying to avoid your nosy housemaid.

You made it to your bedroom successfully and as soon as both of you were inside, JJ pushed you against the door, locking it.

"Can I kiss you?" he questioned, pressing his body against yours.

"Yes, please."

He didn't waste any more time, finally crushing your lips together. The kiss was heated, messy, hungry. His hands sneaked under your clothes to grab your waist with need, pulling you even closer to him. You felt frantic as you wrapped your hands around his neck, kissing him back like you were drowning and he was air.

His tongue slipped between your lips. completely devouring your mouth while one of his hands gripped your neck to keep your head pinned against the door; you broke the kiss, whimpering in his mouth because of the action and he kept his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes as both of you tried to steady your breathing.

"Why don't you show me how you touch yourself when you think about me, baby?" he whispered.

Your heart skip a beat after hearing the words he spoke; you had never done something like that before, yet you nodded, making him smile. He kissed you gently before taking off your —his— shirt and then, only wearing your bikini thong, you moved towards the bed, where you sat.

You placed your feet over the edge of the mattress, spreading your legs, and leaned on your elbow to make yourself comfortable. His eyes never left your body, analysing every inch of your exposed skin.

"You're beautiful," he complimented you, which encouraged you to move your hand down your belly until it disappeared under your last piece of clothing.

You panted when you felt your fingertips brushing your needy pussy for the first time, biting your lip right after. Your cheeks flushed when JJ squeezed his cock over his pants while hearing and looking at you; seeing him so into it motivated you to keep going.

Your fingers started rubbing circles over your swollen clit, slowly at first, but you were so turned on that soon you sped up your movements. You were soaked and even the lightest touch sent sparks of pleasure across your entire body. A small moan escaped your lips when you traced your entrance with two fingers, slipping them inside for a second before taking them out again.

"Take this off, baby, I wanna see you," he pleaded, kneeling between your legs on the bed and grabbing the straps of the bikini.

Yo nodded, pulling your hand out of if and lifting your hips so he could take the thong off. He moaned at the sight of your glistening cunt and placed his hands over your knees to further separate your thighs.

Under his attentive gaze, you pushed your middle and ring finger inside of your pussy, curving them so you could reach that spot in the front that made you see stars with each thrust. You made sure to rub your clit with the palm of your hand, too.

"That's it, princess, you're doing so good for me," he praised you, moving one of his hands up your leg until it reached your chest, where he started touching your breasts, "Wish those where my fingers, baby."

You moaned because of his words as he unfastened his belt with his free hand, unbuttoning his trousers right after. He reached for the waistband of the pants, pulling it down so his underwear was in sight. You gasped when you were able to see the outline of his dick under his boxers; your mouth watered at how big he was.

You added a third finger, desperate for cumming; your arousal was dripping all over the bedding, making a mess.

"I'm so fucking horny for you, JJ," you told him, calling him by his name for the first time, "I'm going to cum."

You couldn't even remember the last time that you had fingered yourself so hard. Or the last time that you had been so fucking wet. He smiled, lowering his hand to touch your clit with his rough thumb, making you moan repeatedly.

You felt the familiar tingling in your lower belly, your breathing hitched and before you could stop it, you were coming harder than ever. Your muscles tightened and your legs started shaking uncontrollably. Overwhelmed by such a strong orgasm, you took out your fingers, trying to close your legs to soothe the sensation, but JJ wouldn't let you do so. Instead, he replaced your fingers with his own and he kept fucking you with them through your orgasm.

"JJ, please, stop, it's to much! Baby... Oh fuck!" you moaned, grinding your hips against his hand despite the overstimulation.

"I know you have another one in you, princess," he said, working his fingers harder and faster inside of you, "C'mon, be a good girl and cum for me."

He placed his free hand over your pelvis, putting pressure there, while he curved his fingers in his direction. In less than thirty seconds he had you coming undone again. Your vision went blank as your entire body trembled and you squirted all over him, crying out his name like a prayer.

It took you a few minutes to recover from the most explosive orgasm of your life, realising you had completely soaked everything. JJ laid down next to you the whole time and didn't stop caressing you for a second while he whispered sweet things to your ear.

You turned to look at him with the biggest smile and you said, "I didn't know I could do that."

The blonde laughed softly, burying his face on the crook of your neck, where he started placing wet kisses while his hand went to rub your pussy again, collecting your squirt to lick it off his fingers with a lustful look in his eyes.

"If I were your husband, I'd make sure you squirted every fucking day of my life, baby." Your cheeks flushed.

You bit your lip, pushing him so he was laying on his back and straddled him, grinding your wet cunt over his clothed dick; he was so hard that he thought he was gonna cum in his pants at the sight of your naked body dry humping his cock.

"Fuck me, JJ, please," you almost begged, still turned on in spite of having come twice already.

"Wait, I have to grabb a condom." He tried to stand up, but you grabbed his neck and pushed him back on the bed, stopping him.

"You don't have to wear one. I'm on the pill and I'm clean," you explained, tracing his abs with the tip of your fingers.

"I'm clean too," he promised, you lifted your hips with a smirk covering your face.

"I trust you," you said.

You helped him getting out of his clothes and your eyes widened when you finally saw his naked cock bounce back against his stomach. He was really, really big. Much bigger than your husband for sure.

You grabbed his dick on your hand, making him moan, and you stroked him a few times before brushing his swollen red tip between your folds.

"Oh my God," he groaned, his head falling back against the mattress.

You repeated the action one last time before you began to lower your hips slowly, shoving his dick inside of your pussy. You moaned at the stretch, placing your hand over his broad chest to steady yourself, and you started bouncing on his cock, trying to find a rhythm that both of you liked. When you saw him frowning and breathing fast, you knew you had found it.

Whimpering, you asked him, "Does this feel good, J?"

"Yes, so fucking good, baby." He gasped, grabbing your hips to help you ride him.

His own hips started thrusting upwards, trying to match your pace, and you couldn't help but moan when he hit the right spot again. You tightened your muscles around his dick on purpose to make him feel as good as he had made you feel before; you smiled when he cried out, pounding into you harder.

"I'm not gonna last if you keep doing that, baby," he admitted.

His hair was stuck into his forehead due to the sweat, covering his eyes a little bit, so you caressed his face and took it out of the way so that he could see you better

"Want you to come inside me, J," you asked for, "Want to feel you filling my pussy."

"Oh fuck, baby, you're so hot...I'm close," his statement encouraged you to start bouncing faster on his cock.

You whimpered when one of his hands made its way to your pussy and began to stroke your clit. You wanted, no, needed to cum again, so you took his other hand and placed it over one of your tits, which he squeezed and started playing with. At the same time, you leaned over him and placed wet kisses all over his chest, feeling his abs tightening under your palm just seconds later, announcing his orgasm.

He became a hot moaning mess under you while you kept riding him through his climax, but his thumb never left your clit as he rode it out, taking you down the cliff with him after a few seconds; your pussy clenched and your eyes rolled back due to the sensation. He sat up, kissing you one last time before he pulled out. You could feel his sticky cum come out of your pussy as you laid down next to him. JJ cuddled you, putting his head over your chest.

"I think..I think you have become my new addiction, Mrs. Ross," he confessed.

You smiled briefly before placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

"I can see you being my addiction, too, Mr. Maybank."

[kestisvrse]

headcanon collection: dating cam cameron

♫ - new romantics by taylor swift

(slightly suggestive at the end?)

· belly or jere introduced the two of you

· instantly drawn to each other (or atleast he is to you.)

· even if you were a party person, if he ever was at the same one as you you found yourself escaping to a quiet place with him

· if you were in the same school i imagine him always leaving little notes in your bag or locker

“you look pretty :)”

“i like that colour on you”

“hang out after school? □ yes □ no”

· study buddy, also how you got to know him better and what led him to even asking you out

· he loves when you talk about your interests, he just stares in awe and nods as you speak

· he goes over to your house one day while you were baking cookies and that just becomes your guys thing, always baking together

· meaning cliche movie flour fights, all. the. time

“we need to start keeping track of the winners”

· STARGAZING.

· like i swear if the skies are clear he is asking you to go on a walk or drive to look at the stars

· as you get closer and he gets a bit more confident he definitely gets touchier

· he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything so its always subtle

· shoulders pressed together, knees hitting or your fingers interlocking

· you’re cold? he will give you his hoodie

· if he doesn’t have one on him he will immediately go and buy one it doesnt even matter

· i dont see him owning many hoodies, but he definitely owns less when he starts dating you because he keeps giving them to you

· having them returned to him awhile later because they ‘lost their smell’

· he will fall asleep if your hands touch his hair in the SLIGHTEST

· ok exaggeration but seriously playing with his hair is actually his favourite thing ever trust

· not big on nicknames but would probably drop an occasional “babe”, “angel” or “sweetheart”

· but saying that, he loves when you call him nicknames, like will melt at anything you call him

· so if you had asked to call you a nickname he definitely would do it more often

· not big on pda, minimum he has to be standing next to you, holding your hand or resting his hand on your back, he’ll place a quick kiss to your lips or forehead but not often

· he makes up for it when you’re alone, taking every opportunity to show you how much you mean to him

· for some reason i just imagine like, your first kiss being underwater

· like you’re both pushed into the pool and while under the water just say fuck it and lean it

· even if people are around, it’s just so in the moment

· as much as he loves staying in, cuddling and watching a movie, he LOVES taking you out on dates

· it doesn’t have to be public, he likes bike rides or picnics, scenic things he gets to experience with you

· makes you playlists

· like he doesnt just update one, he’ll make a new one every few months, or ones for certain moods

· you’re sad and he can’t be there? he makes you a playlist of songs so you can think of him and hopefully feel better

· the BEST at comforting

· he’ll listen and only give advice if you want it, or even if you don’t want to talk he is there rubbing your back or tracing shapes on your hand to calm you down

· he like is definitely secretly easily jealous

· like you would never be able to tell if he was, and he would never tell you

· unless it’s someone like, touching you or obviously flirting with you, he will immediately have his arm around you hoping they will get the hint

· but usually he hates getting jealous, especially if its just a friend or he is misreading it

· so he stays silent because he trusts you and know you wouldn’t talk to or encourage anyone trying to get with you

· even while dating he still does the note thing, this time scattering them around your room, in your draws, placing them so you could keep finding them for months

· definitely has a million photos of you, and has a problem with printing them off and putting them everywhere around his room

· he’s absolutely WHIPPED for you

· he loves putting his hands under your shirt onto your waist, feeling how warm you are as you blush

· nose kisses.

· i don’t think hickies happen a lot

· like he loves kissing your neck but he never leaves a mark

· but occasionally slip ups happen, and he’ll feel so bad but you don’t even care, because it shows everybody that you’re taken

· i don’t think he would be a huge fan of you kissing his neck

· probably tickleish so he ends up squirming and giggling

· he likes when you kiss his face though, it doesn’t matter where, he just loves it.