#this is him wanting an answer where he can accomplish something and her being honest

[darkwants]

@fcundaticnsofdecay

[stickyspeckledlight]

Dan Heng, kind of a funny story. See, I happened to come across an entire detailed folder based on me in the data bank. So….thoughts??????

Cool as water flows.

(Speckled's End of Year Interaction Prompts, 12/2/24 ~ 1/1/25)

"That explains why you've come here with that apprehensive look on your face," Dan Heng notes, from your pinched expression.

"Sorry," you instinctively school your face---you don't want to come off as too aggressive, because although you DO need answers...you'd prefer them to come without too much conflict and contention, you know? "I'm just...a bit spooked, y'know? I mean, as far as I can tell, no one else has got a folder as detailed as mine."

Dan Heng folds his arms. "That would be because there's simply more information about you out there than there is for any one of us.."

You laugh nervously. "Well, I get March and the Trailblazer---oh, and Mr. Yang, since well...we don't know much about his planet to begin with---but um..." you start fidgeting---realizing that it's a bit awkward to evaluate the informational status of your companions, but um, well, it's also um, not great that there's still so much about you??? "...Himeko, wouldn't there be a lot of info on her?"

Dan Heng raises an eyebrow, "Because...?"

You huff, "You know what? This doesn't matter. I'm just..." you take a deep breath; if you start acting out now, you won't be taken seriously, and that won't help you accomplish anything, "why are things like my favorite foods, clothes, and erm...preferences in there, Dan Heng?"

He regards you blankly. "The sorts of things you posted to your socials?"

"Erm---" you fluster. "Well. Wait. Why do you stalk my socials???" Dan Heng, unlike you, takes it in stride. "I need to keep all info on each member updated. Don't worry, for the most part, all that is contained in the database is entirely public information."

While Dan Heng's explanations are...reasonable enough, you presume, you still can't quite shake off your unease. Dan Heng seems to pick up on this, and adopts an apologetic expression.

"...My apologies if this has caused you discomfort," he bows his head, "Even if I'm not in the wrong, that doesn't mean the emotions you're feeling are invalid either. I'll treat you to a meal."

You jump. Because he really doesn't need to, but also...you don't think you want to be in the same room as him, to be honest...! But...with how he's looking at you, and well----you don't really wanna disappoint him. You want to get along with everyone on board, and if this is just standard database protocol and whatnot, this is something you'll have to live with, right? It'd be undue of you to rock the boat over nothing, and if you DID do that, then you can only imagine how everyone will look at you like you're---

You smile, nervous and embarassed, "Um, you r-really don't have to!" You try.

"I insist." He does not relent.

You feel that Dan Heng is immovable on this matter. So, you simply nod, and follow him out of the database. Even though dinner ends up being nice enough, you never quite get that folder out of the back of your mind.

Meanwhile, Dan Heng wonders when you'll be ready to see the folder where he's amassed every single detail about your life.

[zerofushiguro]

Hi!!! Can I request a one shot for Satoru with little sister reader? His little sister is a sorcerer too but she's not gifted with six eyes and limitless curse technique like him. Because of that she always gets compared to Satoru. However, Satoru always reassures her that she can get stronger and always be her number one supporter. They train together and if anyone ever tries to make her little sister down he'll always be there to defend her and comfort her afterwards.

Gojo's Little Sister | Gojo x SIster!Reader :)

Being Satoru Gojo's little sister was not easy. He was blessed, or cursed one would say, with both the six eyes and the limitless technique while I was only able to use simple techniques, similar to Maki Zenin, but at least I had some cursed energy to begin with as she had none at all.

My specific skill set was that I was able to use electricity to my advantage to take down opponents, however, I was nowhere near as strong as Satoru.

"What's wrong, y/n?" Gojo asked as he ruffled my hair. We had been training all afternoon and I felt like I was getting nowhere. Even though the strongest sorcerer alive was training me, I couldn't help but to be seen as anything less than his baby sister.

"I just feel overwhelmed, Satoru." I answered, trying to make it out as if I was just tired and not insecure about my abilities. The Gojo clan was notorious for being judgmental and being overbearing. I didn't want my inability to be as strong as my older brother to get in his way.

"You've been training hard all afternoon, however, it seems like you just want to give up." He said, looking down at me as I was sitting on the training room floor. He could always read me like a book.

"To be honest, I just don't feel up to par with you, Satoru. I just… want to be just like you." I confessed, feeling ashamed at my lack of accomplishments.

I was ten years younger than Satoru. He was twenty-eight while I was eighteen. He had accomplished so much, being the world's strongest sorcerer and also being one of the most sought out teachers of this generation. Most people didn't like him or his childish antics, but I looked up to him.

"Does it bother you? Being my little sister? I don't want you to ever feel as if you live in my shadow, y/n." He would say as he reached his hand out and pulled me up off the floor. As I stood up, I lost my balance and fell down. He reached his hand back out before telling me to get up and try again.

"Satoru, people talk about me." I told him out of confidence before trying to hit the target. "They say I'm nothing like you and that I don't belong within the Gojo bloodline in general and I'm starting to believe them."

The look on Gojo's face was unbelievable as he heard the news of his little sister's sad, but true, feelings.

"We're done training for the day. Let's go get something sweet to eat and we can spend some time together instead." He smiled, holding out his hand. I smiled back at him, allowing him to take my hand and lead me outside.

Once we reached the cafe where we were getting Mocchi, he looked at me randomly and said something I will never forget.

"Y/n, you are perfect the way you are. Don't you dare let anybody else tell you otherwise. All you have to do is work harder and you'll get there. I'm here to help you no matter what." He said with a smile.

My heart felt warm and fuzzy as my older brother spoke these words of affirmation. I knew he loved and cared deeply about me and would do anything for me. That was the day I decided to do whatever it takes to make him proud of me. I was happy to have him as my big brother.

[lightwise]

Hunter’s Lies and Leadership in Aftermath

(Plus some misc thoughts)

Decided to do a quick little rewatch of Aftermath yesterday morning, and noticed something I haven’t paid attention to before.

(First, I have to say that one of my favorite moments out of the entire series is the first exchange between Hunter and Crosshair when Cross is still in his right mind—“Crosshair, let’s get these tanks moving!” “Sir, yes sir.” Just brings a smile to my face at their lighthearted snarkiness every time. These are their real, unburdened personalities. Ones we haven’t gotten to see since.)

As for what I noticed, I realized how much Hunter lies throughout the episode, and easily. His wartime leadership skills are at their strongest here, the easy, confident, calling-the-shots tone that designates his position as squad leader. He knows his men, he knows what they’re capable of, and he knows what needs to be done in order to accomplish a goal. He’s tactical, perceptive, quick thinking and responsive to what is happening around him even as he is also internally processing things that don’t make sense to him. (This is in stark contrast to his reserve and indecisiveness in season 2, which I’ll save for another post).

However, as close knit as the group is, and as honest as we know the Batch is and that Hunter is not intentionally manipulative, he immediately, easily, and without hesitation lies multiple times. The first time is to protect Caleb as he leaps over the waterfall and Crosshair then comes up asking where he went.

“Where’s the Jedi?”

“I stunned him when he jumped. He didn’t make it.”

Hunter knows something is up with Crosshair, though he doesn’t know what. And he wants Caleb to be safe. But his instant response is a straight up lie and he doesn’t even waver in delivering it. He furthers the lie on their return home when Crosshair questions him about it. He knows Crosshair doesn’t believe him but he’s not ready to open that can of worms mid flight.

He lies again when they land back on Kamino and a shock trooper asks him if they have a problem with what’s going on. This time though he stutters and is much less convincing in his delivery, I think both because he’s becoming more and more confused at what is going on, and also because he’s now lying to authority and could actually face consequences if he doesn’t give the “right” answer. Regardless, it’s interesting that his nerves shine through here but not when he’s talking to his squad, who would know much more quickly his tells and attitudes than a random trooper would.

His next lie is to Tech during the briefing by Palpatine to all of the clone troopers. This is the first time for this show that we see how Tech pays attention to Hunter’s reactions, and when Hunter sees Omega for the first time, Tech asks him what he sees, and Hunter says “nothing” when he realizes that Omega has disappeared.

He also sort of half lies to Omega when they leave for Onderon, telling her that a mission is a mission and that it’s nothing to worry about. He’s churning inside though. He knows none of this make sense. But of course he’s not going to tell a kid that, he wants to comfort her and make her feel at ease.

All of this makes me wonder—is this something Hunter was used to doing? Is he so used to being the leader who holds everyone together, with no one for him to really turn to, that he’ll do whatever needs to be done to keep the peace or complete their mission objective, even if it means lying to his brothers in the moment? Or is this newer for him and he’s using it as a way to cope with the sudden shift in the situations they are dealing with?

And then Saw Gerrera says something interesting when they’re trying to apprehend him on Onderon. He says to Hunter as the leader of the group specifically:

“Take a look at the group of insurgents you were sent to destroy. Makes you wonder what else they’re lying about.”

Now, I’m not saying that Hunter took this to mean “oh man I gotta stop lying to my crew because that’s what the empire is doing to us and that’s no way to lead.” But, he doesn’t lie anymore through the rest of this episode, nor in the next one. I’d have to watch through the series again to remember if there are any other occasions of him directly lying to the Batch (vs to a stranger to keep them safe). There does seem to be a shift in his demeanor after this though. And Saw’s words seem to help him coalesce his thoughts because he quickly comes to the decision that they are going to get Omega and then desert, and he doesn’t hide this from any of the Batch members, not even Crosshair.

Side note 1: This episode also has some really beautiful indications of how much Hunter cares too: him saying “nice work” to Crosshair after their training session, him yelling “no!” when Caleb and Crosshair are fighting because he’s worried about either of them harming the other, and him telling Omega to stay away from them because their squad is nothing but trouble.

Side note 2: Omega tells Crosshair that she knows what he’s going to do before he’s taken away. Then when they are all gearing up in the hanger and about to go look for Crosshair, she hears footsteps coming and tells them they won’t have to look far. She knows that not only are they about to be found by troopers in general, but that Crosshair specifically will be with them. I wonder if as Nala Se’s assistant she knew what the procedure would be to try and enhance Crosshair’s chip and turn him against them.

[thehackneypony]

How's Leaky Cup doing?

i know i kind of fell off the planet haha… the horses are all doing fine!

quick answer:

- leaky cup has not grown an inch, but he is developing into a hunky little man

- yoyo is happily snoozing with her friends in a stress-free field

- chalk is being boarded for training/ leased to my mother. she was out of work for a very hot minute due to bleeding ulcers— but the horse coming out of that recovery had a brand new, relaxed mental state! super proud of her

- bugsy is mostly retired due to arthritis, but enjoys trail rides and lots of carrots— fun fact: two separate dentists have looked at bugsy’s teeth and thought him to be in his mid to late twenties instead of like 18-19yo. not a huge jump and just conjecture, sometimes previous dental care or lack thereof can affect how a horse’s teeth look.

longer answer:

something medically happened to me almost a year ago and caused me a lot of trauma lol, i was emotionally uninvolved with my own life— got a promotion and threw myself into work and away from horses or my friends. yoyo & leaky are boarded with a very nice lady— i get updates and texts on them and their needs so i can still schedule the vet and farrier. chalky and bugsy are being doted on by my mom everyday.

my life is constantly being sorted and re-organized, and in this journey i realized i’d always put everything into caring for animals as an excuse to not take care of myself. thankfully, i have someone in my life that cares and helps me to see where i’m not taking myself into account. it’s really a struggle with my heavy work-load and life responsibilities-in-general to balance all that i want to accomplish for both my career and my own personal interests; to be terribly honest, with both the guilt and exhaustion from falling out of habits and healing, i’m having a really hard time finding motivation to go to the barn. i teach my mom lessons, so i get to see chalky and bugsy every week— but yo-yo and leaky have fallen to the wayside unintentionally, and i’m having a really hard time finding my way back to them.

i’m still a bit lost in the sauce of balancing my own life after everything haha and because of that i’ve been toying with the idea of downsizing just a bit.

yoyo is my forever baby, her and bugsy will happily live out the rest of their years with me. chalky is the horse i usually consider my heart horse— she’s so mare-ish and high maintenance i love her— but she also requires a lot of constant work to burn off her anxious energy and tire out her brain. i wouldn’t trust her sensitive emotions with just anyone, but i also know i can’t commit to working her 6 days a week anymore. if i can find a good lease for her, that would be ideal tbh— she can be veeeery fancy with the right rider, and a really fun trail partner. the hardest one is leaky, who i’m very genuinely considering finding another home for. it was such a great learning experience meeting and working with him— but we never really clicked, and i feel like i’m not the best opportunity for him. through professional training we’ve gauged he’d be a rockstar at cross-country— just an absolute tank on the course. he’s outpaced a selle francis/irish sport-horse cross and proven to be the bravest horse you’ve ever met.

the problem is that he has yet to be started under-saddle, and besides the regular handling of a boarding facility, has mostly been left to his own devices with his boy-band herd out in the field. i’ve never sold a horse before, have no idea where to start��� and am unsure if i could even find someone interested in him as he is now. tbh, i think a bigger part of why i haven’t really done much more than just think about this is that i’m also just hesitant to let go. even if we don’t click, i’ve cared for him and watched him grow. he’s still one of my babies, and while it would be a suuuuper helpful financial decision to sell— if feels like closing a big chapter on my life that i thought would never end. it is a constant dilemma that keeps be up at night haha

i really appreciate the Ask <3 i keep forgetting i have tumblr— and by extension this huge community of horse people i’ve come to consider friends— to help me. it’s hard, and i’m still learning to ask for help. i hope everyone has been surviving, thriving— and enjoying their new year!!!

[quicksilverdrabbles]

Kaidan: *holding a Dragon's Tongue flower, walking down the hall of Skyfall Estate towards Morana's room* Hm.. I hope she likes it-

Taliesin: Kaidan?

Kaidan: *looks up, seeing Taliesin already standing at Morana's door* Oh gods, what are you doing here? Need her for something?

Taliesin: Something like that. And what exactly are you here for?

Kaidan: Er.. *hides the flower behind his back, looking down and seeing a box in Taliesin's hands* ... Wait, what's that?

Taliesin: *raises an eyebrow* I don't have to disclose that information to you.

Kaidan: I'll tell if you do.

Taliesin: ... Fine. Seeing as how we have been unable to find a suitable replacement for her mask, I figured Morana would like a headpiece to make her feel more confident about showing her face in public. *opens the lid, revealing a gold and ruby circlet* I happened to find it in a chest she missed during our most recent delve into a dungeon, and it just so happened to be enchanted with Alchemy benefits. I think the gold would be rather nice with her hair color, don't you?

Kaidan: *stares at the circlet in shock* I- Yeah..

Taliesin: And? Now it's your turn.

Kaidan: Er.. *trying to think of a suitable lie* W-Well, I, er- noticed she was running out of potion ingredients, and she mentioned wanting to make a potion with Dragon's Tongue. So...

Taliesin: *staring at the little flower* So you only brought her one?

Kaidan: There was only one that I found.

Taliesin: I think you're lying. And after I was so honest to you, tsk tsk.

Kaidan: Aye? And what exactly are you hoping to accomplish by giving her that? You of all people don't give gifts for free.

Taliesin: Hmph. I think you know the answer to that well enough. You and I are no different in that prospect.

Kaidan: ... I won't back down from this. Not from her.

Taliesin: Oh good. I was afraid Morana only ever had pathetic milk-drinkers chasing after her. *chuckles* Worry not, I have no intentions of playing dirty this time. I would hate to force her into a relationship where the feeling may not be mutual.

Kaidan: I feel the same way.

Morana: *opens the door to her room, leaning heavily on her cane in pain* ...? W-What are you guys..

Taliesin: Oh dear. Bad pains today, raven? *sets the box on a table and moves so she's leaning against him* Why did you get out of bed?

Morana: W-Was.. gonna go.. see Yaksha..

Kaidan: Hey now, your voice sounds more hoarse than usual. Don't go hurting yourself, we'll go get Yaksha for you.

Taliesin: I'll go. Kaidan, help her back into bed.

Kaidan: Aye. *lets Morana lean against him so Taliesin can leave, picking her up once he's gone and carrying her to bed* We've really got to come up with a way for you to let us know when you're in too much pain to get up. This can't be very pleasant for you.

Morana: *blushes, turning to hide her face* I'm fine.

Kaidan: Ha. Obviously not, starlight. Do you need one of your potions?

Morana: No, it's not illness today. Just.. chronic pains. Most days it's bearable, but sometimes... it isn't.

Kaidan: But it always hurts you like this?

Morana: ... Yes.

Kaidan: .. I wish there was something I could do to ease the pain. Aside from leaving Yaksha to bring you medicine.

Morana: It only helps a little bit anyways. *leans into Kaidan gently* ... The warmth helps.

Kaidan: Hm? *looks down at Morana resting her head on his shoulder* Being warm helps?

Morana: A little bit. It was always cold in the lab. The aches never really went away.

Kaidan: Could be you're naturally always cold.

Morana: *sighs, fiddling with a loose string on her sleeve* That too.

Kaidan: ... I'm sorry. *sets her down in bed, wrapping her in a furry blanket* Sit tight, I'll get the fireplace going.

Morana: Mm. *leans back against her pillows, eyes drooping a bit. Her exhaustion is evident, but the pain and the cold keep her from falling asleep*

Kaidan: *throws some logs in the fireplace* Did you manage to get any sleep last night?

Morana: Mm-mm.

Kaidan: I'll let the others know we're not leaving tomorrow. You need some time to rest.

Morana: ...

Kaidan: *glances back at her, noticing her scarred eye squinting more than her uninjured one* ... Can you not see very well out of that eye?

Morana: *shakes her head, brushing her fingers along the burn scars on the side of her face* It never healed properly. I considered getting rid of it, but then I'd be completely blind on my right side.

Kaidan: Hm.. Wonder if the Restoration mage at the College could help with that. Or any healer.

Morana: ... Did we all die and go to Oblivion?

Kaidan: Eh?? What do you mean?

Morana: *snickers, wincing at a sharp pain in her chest* Normally you would never seek the help of magic.

Kaidan: Aye, well.. your wellbeing is a different story.

Morana: I've thought about going to see that face sculptor in the Ragged Flagon. If only to fix my eye.

Kaidan: Not your scars?

Morana: ... It's weird imagining my face without the scars. *looks up at Kaidan, a worried frown on her face* Do you think I should ask her to fix my scars?

Kaidan: Absolutely not. Er- well if you ever decide you want to then I'd support you, but- Uh.. *twirls the Dragon's Tongue flower behind his back nervously* I never want you to think that I want you to change how you look. I've said it before. No matter your scars.. you've always been beautiful to me.

Morana: *brings the blanket up to cover the lower half of her face, ears turning dark red* You always say stuff like that..

Kaidan: *smiles, setting fire to the kindling he added and standing up to let it burn* Yeah, and I always mean it. *pulls the flower out from behind his back, walking towards Morana and tucking it behind her ear* You.. are very precious to me. Every time you say that there's nothing anyone can do to ease the pain you feel.. it only makes me want to try that much harder to heal you.

Morana: *frowns, shaking her head*

Kaidan: You would do the same for us, wouldn't you?

Morana: ...

Kaidan: If it was me? Or Taliesin or Inigo or any of us.

Morana: ... I wouldn't stop until I found a potion to heal you.

Kaidan: Exactly. You would do the same for us, so let us find your potion. Or your spell, or whatever it takes for you to be free.

Morana: *stares up at Kaidan worriedly, considering* ... Kaidan-

Kaidan: Hm?

Morana: I- You really shouldn't- I'm not going to-

Taliesin: *knocking on the door* Morana? Kaidan? I've brought some medicine from Yaksha. He's a bit tied up in an... archery incident between Inigo and Gore at the moment, so he'll be in later to check on you, raven.

Morana: ...

Kaidan: Archery incident? What the hell happened?

Taliesin: Gore challenged Inigo to shoot an apple off of his head. They've both been drinking, he missed and shot his shoulder.

Morana: ?!

Taliesin: He's fine, don't worry. Here. *hands Morana a cup of tea* Yaksha mixed the medicine in with the tea. Should taste just like chamomile.

Morana: *takes the cup with a smile, humming at Taliesin thankfully*

Taliesin: You're welcome... *notices the flower in her hair* Ah, so you gave it to her.

Kaidan: Ah, buzz off.

Taliesin: Hm. Well, I suppose my gift can wait until tomorrow. You'll never feel better if you don't get any sleep.

Morana: *finishes her tea, her expression becoming sad*

Kaidan: You alright, starlight? Does it still hurt?

Taliesin: The medicine won't take affect for a while.

Morana: *looks away, flustered, signing with trembling hands* Can you guys stay with me? I haven't been able to sleep alone lately..

Taliesin and Kaidan: *looks at each other in surprise*

Taliesin: ... I'm not opposed.

Kaidan: ... *sighs, leaning back on Morana's bed* If it'll make you comfortable, starlight.

Morana: Thank you.. *sets her cup on the nightstand and adjusts more comfortably in bed, unwrapping herself from the blanket to toss it over Kaidan*

Kaidan: Ah, you don't have to worry about me. I'm warm with the fire.

Morana: ... *shifts under the blanket so she's cuddled against him, her face burning red* T-That's not why I did it..

Kaidan: *cheeks turning pink, turns so he's more comfortable* ...

Taliesin: Er- Are you quite sure you want me to be there too, raven?

Morana: *looks over her shoulder at Taliesin with pleading eyes*

Taliesin: ... Oh fine. *takes off his boots and gloves, leaving them near the nightstand. He clambers into bed behind her, leaving a respectable amount of room, but still close* Better?

Morana: *hums happily* Much better.

Taliesin: Good. Now to go sleep, dear. And if you feel the need to get up for anything, let us know so we can help you, alright?

Morana: *snuggles deeper into her blanket, nudging it over Taliesin* Mhm.

Kaidan: ... *sighs, running a hand through her short white hair gently* Could get used to this.

Taliesin: Agreed.

Kaidan: *watches as they both begin to fall asleep, a frown forming on his face* But what were you about to tell me..

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Worthy, pt13

part 1 & 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, part 9, part 10, part 11, part 12

__________

tags: @bolontiku, @rampant-salamander, @darkdragonpheonix , @440mxs-wife,  @castiels-sunflowers, @peekingsunshine, @alexakeyloveloki, @feelmyroarrrr

word count: 3712

__________

There’s only been a few times in my life when I’ve been desperate to become invisible. In eighth grade, when Jimmy McFadden found out I had a crush on him, he responded “That nerd? She wishes,” in front of most of the school before commenting on my jiggly bum. That wasn’t the part that made me want to vanish. It was when he said it was a shame I was such a nerd because I had “such excellent knockers”. That’s when I prayed for a hole to appear in the floor and suck me away because honestly, hell would have been preferable. And my boobs weren’t and still aren’t, that great. In senior year, the self-same boy, who’d become even more impossibly handsome, asked me to prom, but quickly announced that he’d only done it because he needed help studying for his chem final and figured if he showed me a good time, we’d both get something out of it. I wasn’t sure about how his plan to deflower me worked out to mutual benefit. But once again, I wanted to disappear into the ground, never to be seen again.

Once I hit college, I was able to retreat from social circles that were petty and indifferent to the emotional games that teenagers played, and I hadn’t had any further incidents of mortification. Until now, on learning I could potentially manipulate the emotions of those people around me. I was ashamed and embarrassed. What if every emotionally charged encounter in my life had only occurred because I had willed it into existence? Every first date that had gone well, or every one that had gone poorly, might have done so because I wanted it. Every man I’d ever been with flashed through my mind. It was a short slideshow, but what if they’d only been with me because I made them think they wanted it?

“Oh god,” I flinched. What if Bruce had only kissed me because my stupid college crush had resurfaced and forced him to? “Oh god. I have to go.” I stood up.

“We aren’t done yet, sunshine,” Lex put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back on the exam table.

“No, I have to go. I can’t be around people. I need to be locked away from everyone so my feelings don’t affect them.” I stood back up.

“And yet, regardless of your determination to go, you aren’t forcing me to let you go with your brain. So sit the fuck down, and let’s finish this assessment.” She raised an eyebrow, like she was daring me to try to mess with her head.

“Maybe you’re immune,” I argued, “because Loki has affected you too.”

“Affected is an interesting word. Tainted might be better.” She looked over her shoulder, “does anyone out there feel an overwhelming urge to suit up and help Ella escape?” A chorus of negative answers returned. “See? We’re solid. Settle your boots.”

I relaxed just slightly, somewhat in awe of Lex Richmond. She had a different kind of confidence than I did, one that was tough. Like she’d been run through a gauntlet to get where she was. My confidence came from being told every day of my life that I could do and be whatever I wanted. I got the impression that Lex had fought for each accomplishment in her world. I suspected some people probably found her brusque, but I found her honest approach refreshing and reassuring.

She steered me toward the super swanky MRI she and Tony had developed, and I found that I was right. She was reassuring because she was honest.

“I don’t know how you feel about small spaces, but I fucking hate them. Unfortunately, MRIs need to be smallish in order to get a good image. We enlarged the space as much as we could but it wound up being just a few centimetres. There’s some clicking that happens in there, and the machine whirs, but if you tell me what kind of music you like, I can jack some tunes to you.” She made the explanation seem like a social chat. It relaxed me quite a bit.

She hadn’t told me about the super secret light show she and Tony had wired into the MRI, so while I listened to music, I got to watch a colour organ project colours across the inside of the machine. If anything, it was hard to remember not to bop my head to the music. The time past faster than I thought it should have. She led me back to the med lab and walked me over to a treadmill.

“So now we’re going to check your endurance. When this happened,” she gestured at her arm, “I was suddenly enhanced. I could run faster for longer with little effect on my general energy store. Since you’ve always been this way, I’m curious to see how you do.”

I snorted. “I can’t run for shit, Lex.”

“Show me,” she nodded at the treadmill. I hopped on and let her get me started. And of course, she started me way too fast. I slowed the machine down and kept it to a brisk walk. She raised an eyebrow but at my returned glare, said nothing. I kind of wished it was one of those swanky treadmills with the TV attached because I hated being social when I was sweating, but staring at the wall was also really boring. The stupid thing could have at least faced the window so I could look out over the city. After ten minutes I was feeling kind of done, and said so. Lex laughed and shook her head.

“This is an endurance test. And you’re walking, not running. So you can either choose to run, which will burn you out faster, or keep walking all night,” she laughed. I gaped. “I know. Bitchiest doctor that ever lived in bitchy doctor land, right?”

“Something like that,” I huffed, but I increased the speed on the treadmill. Not quite to a run, as I wasn’t sure my heart would take the shock. I had done next to nothing other than sit in a lab during my Master’s studies.

“What’s your sport?” She asked.

“I don’t have one.” It wasn’t actually true. I’d been on a rep soccer team during high school and my undergrad was on a soccer scholarship.

“I don’t buy it,” she disagreed.

“She had a full ride for soccer in college,” Tony offered from across the room. I scowled in his direction.

“This should come back then,” Lex laughed, and bumped the speed up so I was jogging. I grunted and lurched forward into a run. The thing about soccer was it was short bursts of really intense exertion. I was not a distance runner. I could do bursts of speed, but I had put on weight during the last few years, and I was out of shape, so I doubted those bursts of speed would really be considered speedy. I settled into a slow jog and focused on a spot on the wall, and let the soundtrack that was constantly running in my head take over, tuning everything around me out. I wasn’t paying any attention to Lex when she pressed the stop button, and I stumbled a little on the slow down, but didn’t quite lose my balance.

“I thought you said this was endurance?” I asked. Lex nodded at the clock on the treadmill with an eyebrow quirked. It said sixty minutes.

“How long was I running?” I asked, double-checking the clock. Yeah, it said sixty minutes.

“Fifty minutes. At 5 miles per hour. So I’d say you’ve got some endurance left. You should consider taking running up,” she suggested.

“You say that to everyone,” Tony snorted. “Lex is desperate for running buddies. I think she might be bored of Steve.” Lex smacked Tony in the arm, laughing.

“That’s not true!” She protested. “About Steve, anyhow. I do like having new running partners though.”

“I’m not going to start running. I like sitting. And feeling my ass get bigger.” I stepped off the treadmill and sat down on the nearest chair to illustrate my point. “Only thing missing right now is some ice cream.” Lex shook her head and handed me a bottle of water.

“Use your imagination,” she teased. I stuck out my tongue and reached for the towel on the crossbar of the treadmill to wipe myself off.

XXX

I’d managed to escape for a shower while Lex crunched the data on my assessment. I wrapped myself in one of the super plush awesome towels I’d purchased and padded across my room to get dressed when a voice interrupted me.

“Ms. Carmichael, Dr. Richmond would like to see you in the med lab.” The crisp British accent startled me. I shrieked and jumped into my closet. “Your heart rate has just accelerate, Ms. Carmichael. Should I assume you haven’t read your suite orientation manual?”

“I skimmed it!” I argued.

“In that case, I am J.A.R.V.I.S., the artificial intelligence Mr. Stark has programmed, primarily for his benefit. I am, however, in use throughout the tower, and can see to any needs you may have as they arise. Which includes forwarding messages like the one I just passed on.”

“Right. Uh, thanks?”

“That is not necessary, but you are welcome, Ms. Carmichael.”

“Okay.” I stepped out of the closet. “You can’t see me, can you?”

“No, visual monitoring would be a violation of your right to privacy in your own home,” it (he?) responded.

“But you can monitor my vital signs?”

“For your safety only, Ms. Carmichael.” I couldn’t help but look at the ceiling when it spoke. I dropped my towel and dressed hastily, not quite believing that there was no video link, but deciding if there was video, it was because everyone at Stark Industries was destined to see me naked, or in some state of undress. I hurried out of my suite and back to the med lab.

“Did you know there’s an AI in the ceiling? Creepy as hell.” I asked Lex as I walked through the door. I didn’t realize Tony and the gang were still hanging around, until I heard Tony stifle a laugh. I shot him a dirty look and turned back to Lex. “So?”

“You have some clear differences from Loki, which makes sense, as you aren’t a clone. And you and I have some pretty clear differences as well. I’m significantly stronger than you. But your intelligence is off the charts,” Lex offered.

“We didn’t do any intelligence testing.” I was confused.

“Tony might have hacked some networks to get some extra information. Did you know that you qualified for Mensa when you were, like, six?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know they rescinded your qualification when you were nineteen because they decided you must have cheated?” She pressed.

“No. But it doesn’t surprise me. I rewrote every exam in first year for the same reason until the college decided that I had to write all my exams in a private room.”

“That didn’t bother you?” She asked.

“After high school? No. The academic advisory panel approached it like they were looking out for both our interests, and I agreed. It ensured there was no dishonesty on either side,” I shrugged. “It meant I didn’t have to keep worrying about rewriting exams.”

“That’s a remarkably calm response,” she raised an eyebrow, as though she didn’t believe I could be zen about anything.

“Just because Loki has self-control issues doesn’t mean I do. My mother is the calmest, coolest person I’ve ever met. I do have half her DNA, you know.” I couldn’t help but laugh. Lex broke into a wide grin.

“You know, that’s so true. I can’t help but focus on the Loki in you, but your mum must be pretty remarkable to have attracted his attention. You’ll have to fill me in on the story,” Lex leaned back against a counter and scribbled some notes on her tablet, “but another time.”

“Sure. In the meantime, can I go? I have a ton of work to catch up on.” I had found all the testing pretty invasive, and really wanted some time in the lab, alone with my thoughts, to build stuff. Lex didn’t say no, so I took the opportunity to leave, heading down to the Starbucks in the lobby for an enormous cup of coffee before heading to the lab.

XXX

I was alone in the lab. It was beautiful. I had half expected some of the night-labbers to be hanging around, but it was eerily quiet. I accessed the online radio and set up some music to break up the silence as I worked on the water reclamation miniaturization. My parents had always teased me about being born in the wrong decade, and I was completely thrilled to find a Big Band music station. The speaker on my desk was set at the perfect level to not interfere with my work; not so loud that it irritated me, and not so quiet that it was distracting. I tapped my foot and pulled my magnification glasses back down. Tony had dropped a set of customized tools off for me before I’d headed home and I was astonished and pleased with how well they fit my hands.

I must have lost track of the time as I worked, but I realized I was sitting in silence again. The playlist on the radio station had been about three hours. I flicked through the screen and found another similar playlist and hit play. The familiar strains of one of my favourite torch songs filled my space and without realizing it, I started singing along. Singing was my guilty pleasure. It released stress, and made me happy. In light of the discovery earlier in the day, it was probably a good idea I keep singing. It would at least have the side effect of making the people around me happy.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” A voice pulled me out of the tiny space my vision had tunneled down on. It took a minute before my eyes acclimated to the dark lab space after staring down on my backlit workbench. I pushed the magnification glasses up to the top of my head.

“Bruce,” I breathed. “Uh, hi.”

“Tony said he could hear you singing and that he couldn’t help but smile. I could use some happy,” he apologized.

“How did he –“ I paused, “Nevermind. J.A.R.V.I.S, can you block the audio feed from this lab?”

“Certainly, Ms. Carmichael,” it responded. “And activate override block protocols,” Bruce added. I quirked an eyebrow at him. “So Tony can’t just override your request unless he comes down and does it from here.” He explained.

“Of course, Dr. Banner.” The AI sounded almost sentient; the tone it spoke in was so familiar and friendly. I began to clear away my mess and realized my project drawers were cluttered and messy, and half the reason I’d wanted to work was to tidy them. I emptied the debris out of the reclamation apparatus drawer onto the top of my desk and stowed it. As Bruce watched in what appeared to be horrified awe, I cleared out my drawers and began organizing parts and components in the small storage containers that Markus had left on my desk before the weekend in a subtle suggestion that I needed to better organize myself.

“How do you get anything done?” He asked.

“A clean desk is a sign of a diseased mind,” I retorted, flicking various screws into containers according to size. Bruce leaned back against the desk beside me, his arms crossed over his chest. I felt like I was being graded, or somehow measured. “You can’t fail me in this lab, Doctor.” I winked. He chuckled. It was a low rumble, warm and friendly.

“To be honest, Tony is more disorganized than you are. You might win the intelligence leg of this triathlon though.” He pushed off the edge of the desk and stepped over to look at my various piles of supplies. “You have plans for all this?”

“Hell no, I always over-order and then just return stuff to distribution. Saves me having to reorder during a project,” I laughed.

“And one of the stores trolls hasn’t come to kill you in your sleep? They have to recount every single one of those million teeny screws when you return them, you know.”

“I’m sure they have a sorter or a counter or something. I’m not going to mess around with having to worry about lot numbers and compliance and quality control issues by having to reorder,” I shook my head and shrugged.

“I think Tony might be the only one who gets away with that,” Bruce warned me.

“Well, no one has come to stab me in the eye yet.” I snapped the lid on a container and pulled out the deep drawer at the bottom of my desk. Bruce let out a low whistle. “That’s impressive, Ella.”

He squatted down beside the drawer and lifted a few containers out of the drawer. My real dirty secret, despite how slobby Markus though I was, was that I wasn’t slobby at all. My materials were all managed and labeled when they were not in use. My desk was only a mess when I was mid-project.

“There’s a lot of spare parts here,” Bruce commented.

“I keep enough to rebuild every component I’ve actively worked on in a six month period. Don’t tell anyone. I like to cultivate the messy genius mystique.” I took the containers back and carefully placed them in their original spots. I wasn’t sure if Bruce had noticed that they were in part number order, and I wasn’t sure I wanted him to know. I dropped a piece of paper on the stacks to separate them from what I was going to add, so I didn’t have to figure out where to start the next time I was in the lab.

“Can I buy you dinner?” Bruce suddenly asked. I lost my grip on the drawer and slammed it shut by accident, startling both of us.

“Sorry!” I exclaimed. Bruce cringed.

“I’m sorry. Of course you wouldn’t. I’m probably close to twenty years older than you.” He pushed his hand through his hair and began to back away. I grabbed his arm to stop him.

“You might be ten years older than me. Maybe?” I reassured him. “I’m starving. So I hope you meant right now.”

“Reassure me I’m not robbing the cradle first.” He looked so uncomfortable that I couldn’t help but smile.

“My thirtieth birthday is in three weeks.”

“Oh. You’re much older than you look,” he blurted. “I’m sorry. I mean, you look quite youthful.”

“I’m half Jotun teenager, it’s okay to say I look young.” I realized my hand was still on his arm. “In fact, I’ll even be flattered when you tell me I look young when we’re old and grey.” What was wrong with me? Why would I say something so bold and outrageous to him before we’d even made it through one date? I wanted to fade into a corner, and melt into a pool, and ooze down an air vent to get away.

“Maybe we should get through dinner first.” His smile was awkward, but not unfriendly. I laughed uncomfortably. In the weird silence that followed my stomach growled loudly. We both laughed and the strange moment was over. “Before your stomach unleashes the Other Guy, even.”

“Sounds like a plan,” I agreed and we headed to the elevator.

Bruce led me out into the warm night, and stopped and looked in both directions, deep in thought. “Three blocks that way is some of the best Thai you’ll ever eat. Six blocks the other way is a great burger place.” My eyes fell on the hot dog cart across the street.

“I’ve never had street meat in New York City,” I tugged him toward the sidewalk. He looked at me, his brow wrinkled in surprise.

“This isn’t really a first date, Ella,” Bruce protested.

“I’d argue our first date was when you kissed me,” I winked, and slipped my hand in his and pulled him across the street. I stopped in front of the street vendor and flashed my best smile. The guy grinned back.

“What’ll it be for you, prinzessa?” He was every hot dog cart street vendor trope I’d ever seen in a TV show. I brought my hands to my face to mask my excitement.

“Just a hot dog and a diet Coke, I guess,” I ordered and tilted my head at Bruce. “He’s buying.” I told the guy all the stuff I wanted on it, and greedily took it from him. Before Bruce could even pay for it, I’d taken a huge bite. So good.

“You’re going to pay for this later,” Bruce shook his head and took a bite from his hot dog. I shook my head and sat on the nearest bench.

“No. So good, so worth it.” I looked up at the tower and shook my head. The hot dog, the dream job, the high school crush buying me dinner. Some weird balance in the universe was trying to make up for my dubious parentage, at any rate. There was something so ordinary and nice about sitting there with Bruce, eating hot dogs and saying nothing. Like I wasn’t the daughter of a god, and he wasn’t the incredible Hulk. Like we were completely normal, albeit genius level intelligence, people. I sighed and took a sip from my drink. Bruce’s arm snaked around my shoulder and he leaned over and kissed my forehead. I slid my bum closer on the bench and leaned against him.

“You sure this isn’t a first date?” His voice broke the quiet peace between us.

“Why?” I laughed.

“Because it’s the kind of first date we’ll talk about when we’re old and grey.” His voice rumbled in his chest. I looked up at him, a little bit surprised. He’d seemed so cautious while we were still in the tower. He dipped his head and his lips met mine.

[queenharumiura]

🎂 + what's your favorite think about Gokudera? ;)

Today is the day I celebrate Haru because of her shorthand (86) and I'll answer any questions. [x] ||Accepting||

Haru stares at a piece of paper that’s slipped right next to her, and she grumbles under her breath. She resents the fact that she had to be completely honest and not leave things out like she normally would like to. Gotta have an air of mystery, you know? The mun is treading hot waters today.

She stares at the prompt again and whines, “But you know that I don’t like to pick favorite things.” It was no use, her fate was sealed, and she had to answer. Haru was the sort of person who generally liked a lot of things about a person, and she didn’t think about what she may like more about a person than another trait about them. To her, it was the sum of the parts that made up the whole. So, really, if she had to say it, her favorite thing about Gokudera would be he himself. Though, would that satisfy anyone as an answer? Nope.

“There’s a lot of things that I like about him. You have to appreciate his drive.” It was something that she could relate to, where if there was something she wanted to accomplish, she’d stop at nothing to see it through to the end. “Or despite how he appears, he has a softer side to him, you know as they say, ‘gap moe?’ That’s really nice.”

“Probably because it makes it interesting, like it’s a puzzle to figure out. The way he blushes and kind of mentally shuts down is cute. It’s a gap between how he normally is, which makes it extra cute.” With the way that Haru often liked to tease as a way to play around and show affection, seeing Gokudera blush really just meant that was free real estate for her to mess with him again. Day 10 of Haru pushing those boundaries. She’s an adventurous soul, who liked to study things for herself.

“The blushing also contrasts with his hair nicely, which makes it extra cute, I think. Don’t tell him that.”  

Another piece of paper is slipped to her. “Okay, he has NO BUSINESS being as pretty as he is. ALL OF THEM.” Haru is convinced that the Vongola tells people if you’re any less than an 8, don’t bother applying. Lambo is accepted on the account of his potential when he grows older. “I don’t even place in first for cutest. That’s Lambo-chan, Fuuta-chan, and I-pin-chan who take the first three spots.” She’ll fight anyone who says otherwise. Anyone who doesn’t find Lambo to be cute is factually incorrect.

“… His green eyes are really pretty.” Does she sometimes steal glances when she thinks no one is looking? Yes. Can she be blamed? They’re pretty!

Another piece of paper gets slipped. “Eto… ah, yeah, I did say that. I like people with a dangerous attractiveness to them. It’s like… the contrast between someone who can be dangerous but won’t be dangerous to you, which is appealing. Yes, he has that. Very dangerous appeal, but is a little softie. How do you not fall for that? Riddle me that instead.” Gokudera was also cool and sometimes smooth. Nice… was something he did slip into every now and again, which really adds to the whole ‘gap moe’ concept. She sometimes wonders if he understands just how impactful that is.

For her sake, it’s best he doesn’t.

“Oh, I really like his voice. There’s that bit of… hm… how do you say it? Is it like a rasp? It really works well with his image, you know?” She doesn’t like it when he’s yelling at her though. That’s when she wants to take a volume dial and crank it down to zero. Goodbye, sir. Other than that? She likes to listen to him speak. “Admittedly it sends a shiver down my spine when he speaks low. It’s like a bit of danger lacing his voice that’s really attractive.”

“So don’t tell anybody, but Haru’s ears are sensitive, so if he whispered in her ears, Haru would be a goner.” So don’t tell anyone, okay? Okay.

Mun-san never made any promises though.

[loosescrewslefty]

Important question: What do you think all the Hexsquad's love languages are? You seem like the kind of person who could answer this question well.

Going to phrase this answer into two parts for each character; First covering the way that they SHOW love, and then by their preferred method of RECEIVING love.

Luz: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch

In terms of showing love, Luz SHOWERS the people with compliments, praise, admiration, and encouragement. She is determined to make sure that everyone knows how amazing her loved ones are, especially her loved ones themselves. Even when she can't talk properly, she still tries to find ways to tell the people she loves that she adores them.

But when is comes to receiving love, Luz prefers that her loved ones show, rather than tell her. Hand holding, embracing, kissing, physical touch is something Luz CRAVES from her partner, and she is always her happiest when she gets it.

-

Amity: Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation

Amity is a very goal oriented person, and when she loves someone she becomes hell bound on making sure that THEIR goals come to fruition too. She is determined to prove her love by helping the ones she cares for, sometimes even to the point of overstepping, because in Amity's mind helping someone accomplish things is the best way to show you love them.

When receiving love, however, Amity is a sucker for Words of Affirmation. She didn't get compliments or verbal affection much from the places where it most mattered growing up, so hearing someone tell her that they love her, that they appreciate the things she does, and that they still love her even when she fails or messes up, makes Amity an absolutely giddy mess, as we clearly saw when Amity was told that Luz thinks she is "Cool, Classy, and Smart"

-

Willow: Quality Time, both ways.

Willow likes to give and receive love the same way; through spending time with one another, making happy memories together, having meaningful talks, and shows of support and comfort. That why, to Willow, it doesn't matter when things go wrong or plans don't work out so long as the people she loves most are there with her on the journey, and they can look back at those moments later together. Willow is at her most miserable when she is all alone, or when those around her won't listen to her, and really appreciates being treated like her presence is important to her partner. She likes to know that they will take the time and effort to include her in moments of their lives, no matter how big or small, because she is important to them and they want her there, and she in turn goes out of her way to make sure that the people she loves know that she always has time for them, no matter what.

-

Gus: Acts of Service, both ways

Much like Amity, Gus believes that the best way he can show that he loves the people in his life is to prove himself useful to them, and much like Amity not being able to be useful to the people he loves makes him feel frustrated and depressed.

But Gus has deep seated anxiety about being used/lied to that make it hard for him to trust that people are being honest to him, and often feels stressed that others expect him to do or know more, since he is so advanced for his age. So having others who see him struggling and stop and take the time to help him back up is something he cherishes deeply.

Hunter: Gifts, Quality Time

Hunter has long been taught that actions mean very little, if they do not get results. So, for Hunter, the best way he thinks he can show his love is to give the people he cares about things that they want. It doesn't matter how he gets them, as long as he can give them something that'll make them happy. We saw this early in his determination to give Belos the Selkiedomus, Palismen, or the Portal Key. We saw this in Hunter's determination to win the Flyer Derby match for his teammates, and then protecting them from Darius. And then again, when he helped save Gus from Adrian. His intention is typically less about providing aid like you see with acts of support, and more about making sure that the people he cares for receive whatever they want, gift wrapped with a ribbon on top.

But when it comes to receiving love, Hunter most appreciates Quality Time. His entire life, Hunter has been made to feel replaceable, ignored, or unwanted. Being around people who not only want to be around him, but even PRIORITIZE him in their lives and enjoy doing silly nonsense with him means more to Hunter than words could possibly express.

[heavyhitterheaux]

How Could You?

First Lady of Private Garden Fic

AN: The angst train is leaving the station in 3...2...1...

Synopsis: Your husband has his suspicions that everything is not as well as it seems in the Harlow household and that you aren’t being honest with him.

Pairing: Husband!Jack Harlow x Wife!Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

For the past few weeks, you had been running around trying to prepare for Jack coming home to the U.S. with the help of your manager Brandi, your make up artist and hair stylist Julissa, Metta, and your best friend Diamonte (Saweetie). 

In between doing your festival shows, you wanted to plan to do something special for him and show him that you were proud of everything that he had accomplished so far.

First Class had done better than either of you thought it would and you felt it was only right for it to be celebrated. 

You would do anything and everything for that man and you were going to make sure that he knew it. 

You just had to make sure that everyone kept it a secret from Jack so that he wouldn’t find out and spoil the surprise.

It was decided that it would take place in one of Atlanta’s hottest clubs, and the guest list would be family, his best friends, and people that he has met along the way of achieving all of his accomplishments.

You were even flying in his parents, your in-laws Maggie and Brian.

The party was set to take place a week after he got back so that you could have some one on one time with him with just the two of you.

Then you would tell Urban where to take him at a certain time and surprise him. 

There were nights that you got a little amount of sleep because you wanted for everything to be perfect. Only the best for your husband and nothing less. 

It was around one in the morning when you received a FaceTime call from your favorite person and eagerly answered.

“OOOHHH damn daddy you fine as hell. You got a girl?”

All Jack did was laugh before answering you and shake his head.

“I have a whole wife and she will kick your ass.”

“Well, she doesn’t have to know.” You replied while winking. 

“You not about to send both of us into an early grave. I think not.”

“I miss you so much. Will you hurry up and come back?”

“Just another day or so my baby. I miss you too. It’s definitely not the same without you being here.”

“I know because all of PG constantly needs a chaperone.”

“Well, we have Neelam.”

“But Neelam doesn’t know all of yall tricks and the stupid shit yall be pulling.”

“I... I can’t argue with that. But how are the festivals going? I see my baby looking like a goddess. You tryna make me have to cut somebody aren’t you?”

“Never that! But it’s going well. I can’t complain. However, I saw that video of that girl touching your face and you better be happy I wasn’t there because I would have rocked her shit into the next century. Like....”

“I know you would’ve and that was actually the first thing I thought of. I was like if Y/N saw this shit that girl would be dead.”

“I’m glad you know because no one touches what is mine.”

“And vice versa.”

“But, what are you still doing up mamas? It’s gotta be at least one in the morning over there.”

“I can’t sleep without talking to my husband first. You know this.”

“You know what? The next time I leave for an extended period of time I’m going to record my voice to help you sleep.”

“Oh my gosh, yes please. I know I’ll be out in less than fifteen minutes.”

“I got you mamas. I also got you a ton of shit over here. I can’t wait to show you.”

“Hmm, new purse?”

“Purses with an s. Plural baby.”

“Outfits?”

“Lingerie for my eyes only.”

“Damn, can’t wait for that.”

“We not leaving the bed when I get back. My hand just isn’t cutting it.”

“I can imagine. Once you had a taste of this, everything else is mediocre.”

“Cocky as shit for someone who is about to be begging me for mercy in less than three days.”

“You talk a good game Harlow, let’s see if you can actually back it up.”

“You asking for it now.”

“Always ready for you.”

“Take your ass to sleep, stink. You have a show later.”

“Fine, I am. I love you Jackman.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

“More than ranch?”

Jack had a look of disbelief on his face and he was surprised that you would even ask him that.

“Umm... baby...”

“You can’t stick your dick in a ranch bottle!”

“Well...”

“Jack!”

“I’m just playing mamas. Yes, I love you more than ranch.... sometimes.”

“You know what? Imma beat the shit out of you.”

“You do that anyway.”

“Goodnight, Jackman!”

“Night mamas. Love you.”

Jack was frustrated. He had been back for at least three days and out of those days, you had been blowing him off.

It hadn't been on purpose.

You wanted to make sure that everything was a go and ready for the party that would be taking place.

It just so happened that every single day a new problem would pop up that you had to fix. 

You kept promising him that you would make it up to him, but his curiosity was starting to get the best of him.

So, what did he do?

Elect his best friend to go with him and do some investigating.

You would use the excuse of having to meet with Brandi, but when Jack had asked her she got flustered with her answer and he just knew something was up and that she was trying to cover for you.

Jack and Urban were now sitting in his car across the street from one of the most expensive restaurants in Atlanta looking at you through a window sitting with an unknown man. They had followed you and Urban had felt uneasy about the whole thing. There was just no way in the world that you would cheat on Jack. He wasn’t believing it for a second, but his best friend felt otherwise. 

“Jack, you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“But, she’s been blowing me off since I got back. All to find out she’s with this dude in an expensive ass restaurant that I usually take her to. And the fact that she’s out and about where people can see her?”

“Y/N would never cheat on you.”

“Yeah, I thought the same thing until now.”

“Jack, come on bro. She’s not like that. I think you need to ask her.”

“All for her to lie to my face again? She’s been acting sketchy as hell.”

“There’s gotta be a reason for it.”

“And she didn’t tell you anything?”

“No, nothing at all.”

Which Jack thought was weird because you told Saweetie and Urban everything. 

“Yeah, I’m...” Jack made a motion to open the car door, but Urban quickly pulled him back. 

“You better stay your ass in this car until you know for a fact what is going on. Don’t go in there and make an ass of yourself.”

“Fine, I’ll confront her later.”

“Then whatever happens, we’ll deal with it.”

“Did she just....”

“No, she didn’t kiss him, they only hugged. Calm down.”

“Like that makes it any better.”

“Just wait it out.”

The next two days after that was the same thing.

You meeting up with another unknown man and they followed you.

Then the next day you actually did meet with Brandi and Saweetie when you told him that you were going shopping because the Golden Girls (your four puppies) needed new collars. 

All to come back home with no collars in hand, Jack was livid. 

It was now the day of the party and your husband was acting... weird.

He didn’t kiss you when you woke up.

Was dodging your hugs all day.

And just not being himself. 

It was almost time for the surprise party and you were currently in your walk in closet trying to decide on something to wear when Jack walked in. You wanted to have both of your outfits coordinate and had already picked his out. You just hadn’t gave it to him yet. 

“Hi, baby. You okay, did you need something?”

“Hmm, nope.”

“What’s wrong? You’ve been off all day.” You asked as you tried to give him a hug, but he dodged your embrace again.

“And you’ve been off all week.”

“Babe, come on. I told you I was just busy with Brandi. I’m sorry. I can make it up to you tonight.”

“Cut the bullshit because that isn’t true.”

“Uhh, what? I was with Brandi and Diamonte.”

Now you were panicking to try and come up with a quick excuse because you didn’t want him to find out. 

“You think I’m fucking stupid, don’t you?”

“Baby, come on. No, I don’t.”

"So, who the hell have you been sneaking around with these past few days?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Y/N. So, you think you can cheat on me and get away with it?"

"Jackman Thomas this better be a fucking joke because..."

"So, you admit it?"

"I didn't admit to shit and the fact that you think I would cheat on you!? How could you EVER think that?!”

"THEN WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU'VE BLOWN ME OFF EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS WEEK SINCE I’VE BEEN BACK!"

"I WAS PLANNING A SURPRISE PARTY FOR YOUR DUMB ASS!"

"Wait, what?"

"Because I've seen how hard you have been working and all that you had accomplished and I wanted to celebrate that. Between me doing festival shows, I’ve been planning this for weeks. I just had to tie up some loose ends this week to make sure that everything was good for tonight. Sorry for actually trying to be a good wife."

There were now tears streaming down your face as you quickly threw on some sweats and a t-shirt. You grabbed your purse and tried to make your way towards the door.

"Baby... wait a minute... I.."

"Just leave me alone. You've done enough by telling me that you don't trust me. Like I fucking love you and you know how much I do and I would do ANYTHING for you and just..."

"But I do trust you and I know that!"

"Apparently you don’t. Let my hand go because you are literally the last person that I want to be around right now."

“Baby, please.”

“Have fun at your party.” You snatched your hand out of his embrace and tried to wipe away your tears. 

You skip the steps two at a time to then be met with Urban at the bottom of the stairs. You take it that he had heard the entire exchange. He saw the tears streaming down your face and instantly felt bad. 

"Y/N..."

"I'll send you the address, just make sure he's there in 2 and a half hours."

“Where are you going?”

Without another word, you slammed the door behind you not having a destination in mind on where to go.

Your mind was blown.

He really thought that you would cheat on him. 

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@laylasbunbunny

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinadolans

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@jackharlowsbabe

@minkookie95

[lightheaded-dullahan]

Let’s begin with:

Why The Fuck is Shinji Like That?

TLDR: The boy can fit so many unhealthy coping mechanisms inside himself.

Full Answer: For a fandom that really enjoys pointing out the nuance in characters , and arguing how certain characters aren’t ’that bad’ because of their trauma — Shinji is for some reason left out of these discussions! There is certainly blame to put into Nasu’s writing ; as nearly every depth to him as a character is left locked behind small mentions or outright left to be interpreted because he needed to be extra evil for a scene. (Keep note of this for later (1))

But let’s explore from a Watsonian prospective first—

Shinji is a Product Of Abuse

Shinji is a Matou - and more than that , he’s a Matou who was born with the impossible standard to be the bloodline’s savior. And he is born with nothing. He is no special mage, he’s not even a mage. Even with a mother whose linage is implied to be quite old, and the Matou family itself — he’s born without a thing. He’s just a baby.

And everyone is punished for this fact. His mother is sentenced to die in the worm pit (Note for later (2)) once it’s discovered he has no capacity for magic. Sakura is taken and pulled into a cycle of abuse in the pit to become the new Matou heir. Kariya will come back and die a painful death to try and save Sakura. And Shinji will be treated as though his very birth was a crime he has to be punished for.

Shinji is born with nothing, and is raised to accept he’s nothing.

But he doesn’t think he’s nothing. In fact we see time and time against he’s adamant that he’s something. He’s someone important, so he should be respected. He’s something important, so he should be able to do these things. Despite his father’s refusal to acknowledge him after a certain age, despite his grandfather putting him down for his lack of ability, Shinji believes himself to be secretly talented. He must be, why shouldn’t he be? He learns alchemy to try and have some standing — it’s not enough but it’s more than someone ‘normal’.

And it’s never enough.

Shinji is a Product of Bad Writing

Nasu has no idea how to write Shinji, let’s be honest. Some routes, he’s just kinda an asshole. But he returns to being Shirou’s friend, because he never intended for them to stop being friends. Some routes he is traumatized further - and they never actually acknowledge how that changes him. And then…we have Heaven’s Feel.

Heaven’s Feel turns Shinji from an asshole to just a monster for the sake of more villains. ‘Oh but it’s set u-‘ I’ll stop you right there. What does Shinji trying to rape Sakura actually accomplish? It just gives you a reason to hate him, and want better for Sakura. Is that a bad thing? Not exactly - but he doesn’t exist as a character in Heaven’s Feel. He’s a plot device to further Sakura’s suffering. Heaven’s Feel could have very easily shown their conflict far better , given far more depth to both the characters. Instead , we get treated to Sakura torture. (Note 1 is here)

Because that’s all Heaven’s Feel is in the end. Torturing Sakura to make her stand out as a damsel amongst the heroines.

Okay But Why Should We Care That He’s Made Into a Quick Villian?

TL;DR: Because it damages not only himself as a character but Sakura as well.

Full Answer: Because holy shit you guys should want BETTER for this series. Shinji has ample potential to become on par with Kirei as a grey-toned villain. Instead, he’s thrown to being a punching bag or one note rapist.

Sakura and Shinji Should Be More Nuanced Then They End Up Being

Shinji and Sakura are both products of the Matou Abuse. But they are raised differently.

Shinji is raised as simultaneous nothing but superior to regular people and superior to the women in his life.

Sakura is raised simultaneously as a miracle but lesser to everyone else and especially lesser than the men in her life.

Shinji knows his mother died in the worm pit. You know, the worm pit where the sex worms are? Remember how those worms attach to women and make them die by orgasming too much? Yeah. Those worms. He mentions this in the manga adaptation, and it helps add an extra layer to a horrifying event.

Shinji witnessed Sakura down in the worm pit.

We’re told it happens some time after she is brought there. It’s the event that leads to his father pretending he doesn’t exist and ignoring him completely, and when we’re told he stops treating Sakura like a person. (Note 2 is here)

Let’s keep in mind that Shinji would have been, at minimum, around seven years old when this happened. He, before this point, genuinely liked his sister. And then he accidentally finds the worm pit - and witnesses Sakura’s abuse. He sees why she’s been brought into the family.

To become its heir. And she will be tortured for it.

His only lifeline is his father who has no reason to keep pretending he cares for him. He’s left with Zouken as his guardian. Zouken, who abuses his adoptive granddaughter and will use her body to recreate the Matou line.

Shinji has no one to tell him what he’s seeing is wrong. Shinji has no one to tell him it’s not Sakura’s fault.

Shinji blames Sakura - because he has no reason not to.

And Sakura blames herself. She takes the abuse because she herself believes she deserves it. The two fuel their unhealthy coping mechanism in a cycle. The siblings become trapped in their own cycle of abuse.

Then, Shinji meets someone in middle school. A normal boy who likes to fix things. Who Shinji stays around despite complaining. Who Shinji protects by destroying the reputations of anyone who takes advantage of his friend.

Shinji met Shirou — and the two are friends who frequently hang out.

And then Shirou gets close to Sakura because of his injury. And Shinji fears she will turn him against him. He fears he will lose his friend to his sister. He is crueler to her, and crueler to Shirou as well as a result. He is so terrified of this outcome he breathes it into existence trying to stop it. Shirou will always choose Sakura over him.

Everyone will choose Sakura over him.

But What About the Sexual Abuse?

It’s still bad!

It just gets more layers! Horrible I know!

We know Byakuya , Shinji’s father, was tasked with acclimating Sakura to the worms. Once Shinji found out, Byakuya also spent a great deal more time with Sakura alone.

The worms are sexual in nature towards women and girls. They are sexual abuse in the most unhidden analogy. You can easily read the above as ‘Byakuya sexually abused his adoptive daughter, and when his son saw - he continued to abuse and cut all ties with his son.’ Which you should — because that is what happened. Even if Byakuya never *personally* touched Sakura - he still used the penis worms on her and allowed her to be violated.

Once Byakuya died (likely to liver failure or worms - it’s a toss up in this family), when Sakura was 13 and Shinji was 14 — Shinji began to sexually abuse Sakura to assert his ‘ownership’. Considering what he witnessed at least seven years prior , and the household he grew up in — Shinji likely believed he was owed this. That it was his duty to do this.

What’s interesting is how Shinji is far more physical with her though. I know that’s weird to say but — you can interpret Shinji using himself instead of the worms to abuse her was what he thought was a ‘mercy’. That she should be ‘grateful’. He is still abusing her - he is still hurting her.

But he thinks he’s better than anyone else hurting her because of what he does specifically.

That’s also why he seems so much worse of a villain. He is more present. He is not just throwing her into a worm pit he is using his own body to hurt her. His presence makes him seem so much more evil.

No; Shinji abusing Sakura in any extent isn’t good. No; Shinji sexually abusing Sakura isn’t good either. From moral standpoints - he’s still awful.

But from a writing and character standpoint: he seems more evil because he is more contemporary. He is not using magic to hurt her. He can’t.

But Nasu will never write him like that. Nasu will never take into account the differences in the abuse for his storytelling and symbolism for Sakura.

Because that doesn’t matter to him. Torturing Sakura does.

What The Fuck Does This Have To Do With Pseudo-Servants?!

I’m getting to why it relates now!

TL;DR: Please do not give Shinji’s body to anyone

Full Answer: Shinji can not exist as a pseudo-servant on principle!

Why? Because character-wise; it’s better for his own development if HE IS NOT MADE INTO ONE. HAVE HIM PRETEND! HE WOULD LIE TO MAKE HIMSELF SEEM COOLER.

Seriously; I know making him a pseudo-servant seems like the idea to go with but unless it is actually him — using his face is not any help!

*takes a long drag* But anyways if anyone is a Shinji-face it should be Yoritomo , Ushi has the right potential for that fucked up sibling abuse cycle. Posideon, while a popular option, isn’t a good option because that doesn’t actually relate to the themes of Medusa and Drake — especially their relationship to Shinji.

You get to make any historical or heroic figure a servant in FGO, but at the cost of it must be a shinji-face servant.

And if you say none, it automatically becomes one of Arjuna's siblings.

*takes semi thoughtful drag on cigarette* Minamoto no Yoritomo? this is a mean thing to spring on someone with only minor understanding of themes and motifs

[hxlyhead-harpies]

Congratulations Weasley

Hi everyone!! This is for the lovely @heloisedaphnebrightmore ‘s 1k celebration! Congrats!! you totally deserve it! I really like this fic and i hope you all like it as well!

Summary: Fred Weasley has been completely insufferable and mean since third year. Unfortunately the reader still feels for him even after he takes his teasing too far

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: Angst with a happy end

You didn’t mean to blow up on him like that. You didn’t mean to be blinded by unadulterated rage and let those words leave your lips. But if you were being honest with yourself, he thoroughly deserved it. After years and years of letting his words carve chinks into your armor, you were through. You simply couldn’t handle it anymore.

You had sat in the common room in your favorite skirt, hands folded neatly in your lap. You kept reaching up to smooth your hair, attempting to look your best. Cormac was supposed to meet you in the common room at noon. He was supposed to escort you to Hogsmeade where you’d eat at Madame Pudifoot’s. It was supposed to be romantic.

You were excited; it was your first date after all. You didn’t quite know if you fancied Cormac. He was brash and occasionally rude, but the feeling of being wanted to outweigh his flaws. It was rare that a boy would give you attention, so when Cormac had suavely asked you out, you couldn’t help but become giddy.

Angelina and Katie had helped you pick out an outfit. It was simple- a black skirt and a simple sweater- but you felt pretty nonetheless.

So you sat and waited. And waited. And waited. For hours you sat on the same sofa in the same position, slowly letting your resolve disappear.

You didn’t know what you had expected. Cormac was known to be an arsehole. Yet, the sting of rejection still affected you, causing you to push back tears.

Around three in the afternoon, Katie and Angelina stepped through the portrait hole. They were laughing about something, smiling wide. But when they caught sight of you, their smiles dropped.

“(Y/n)?” Angelina said, furrowing her brow. She shrugged off her jacket and made her way towards you.

“What are you still doing here?” Katie asked. You just shrugged.

“Still waiting for Cormac I suppose,” was your response. Angelina and Katie shared a look of pity. You blinked back tears. Angelina sat down on the couch next to you and rubbed your shoulder.

“He never showed?” she asked softly. You shook your head. Katie sat on your other side and laid her head on your shoulder.

“Well, he’s an absolute git then,” she began, “Can’t see how great you are.” You smiled softly at her words.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

“I can’t believe he would do this,” Angelina said with a hint of anger lacing her voice.

“I can,” you said with a sniffle.

At that moment, the Weasley twins and Lee Jordan stumbled through the portrait hole. You felt yourself stiffen. You had been friends with Lee and George since first year when you had spilled pumpkin juice on Lee one morning. The two of them were great; always joking with you and always making you feel welcome. But Fred was a whole other story. You had been friends with him in your early years of schooling as well, with you developing a small crush on him in the process. It was a puppy love kind of crush. The kind that had you giggling with your girlfriends at thirteen.

But in fourth year something had shifted. While your feelings for him only become stronger, he seemed to develop a strong dislike for you. The usual playful teasing turned into something genuinely meant to sting. His words no longer carried a playful tone, but only one with venom. You weren’t sure what had caused him to hate you, but all you knew was that you couldn’t hate him.

The three of them stepped into the common room, cheeks still flushed from the late autumn chill. The boys had wide smiles on their faces, which only dropped when they saw you. Lee and George immediately took notice of the tear tracks that ran down your face and concern filled their eyes.

“(Y/n)?” George questioned, taking a step towards you. You simply shot him a weak smile. The boys made their way over to the sofa.

“Are you alright?” Lee asked softly. You opened your mouth to answer but Fred interrupted you.

“Oh what is it this time?” he asked with an eye roll. Your eyebrows shot up. You were not in the mood for his insults.

“Fred…” Angelina hissed in a low warning tone. Fred ignored her.

“You’re always so dramatic, crying at the drop of a hat,” he complained. George gave him a swift elbow to the ribs.

“George!” he cried, touching the now tender area.

“Well Fred, I’ll have you know that she has every right to be upset,” Katie said, glaring at him. Fred scoffed.

“I doubt it,” he said in a low tone before flopping into the armchair across from you.

“What was it this time? You didn’t get top marks on a potions essay?” he guessed, “oh wait no! I bet you snapped a quill. What a tragedy!”

“Shove off Fred,” you said in a low voice. He just sent you a glare.

“So what happened?” George asked with genuine concern. You looked down at your hands as you felt the tears begin to rise again.

“McLaggen stood her up,” Katie explained.

“What an arsehole,” Lee exclaimed, shaking his head. George and Lee tried their very best to comfort you, offering to get back at Cormac for you. Their ideas of how to prank him made you laugh, slightly alleviating your sadness.

“Well, I don’t know what you expected,” Fred said, interrupting his friends. You turned to him, frowning.

“Please stop Fred,” you said, ���I’m not in the mood today.”

“Well, I mean why would he want to go out with you?” he continued anyway. Your mouth dropped open in shock.

“Fred quit it,” George whispered to his twin. Fred just waved him off.

“I mean come on, McLaggen goes out with loads of girl but even he isn’t that desperate,” he said, gesturing towards you. You felt your cheeks grow warmer with rage.

“Shut up,” you said quietly, but he pushed on.

“I’m happy for him,” Fred said with a smile. Angelina squeezed your shoulder.

“Fred stop it,” she said defensively.

“He dodged a bullet,” Fred said, leaning back with a smirk. You stood up suddenly, rage flowing through your veins.

“Fred Weasley what is wrong with you,” you shouted. Fred froze. You had never fought back before.

“Do you really hate me so much?” you questioned, “so much that you feel the need to spend every minute of your existence trying to make me feel miserable?” Your hot tears were flowing freely at this point. Fred just gaped at you, his mouth opening and closing as if attempting to force out a response.

“Because if that was your goal? Congratulations Weasley, you’ve accomplished it,” you said, glaring at him. You turned to storm up to the dormitory. He stood up now too, seemingly regaining her senses.

“(Y/n) wait!” he shouted after you. You turned around and looked at him.

“I wish I never met you,” you yelled back at him. And with that, you turned and ran from him, leaving your shocked friends behind you.

~~~~~

“I hate him,” you said, laying on your back and staring up at the canopy above your bed. You felt the bed dip as Angelina sat down beside you.

“Me too,” she said, giving you a look that let you know that she didn’t believe you. You groaned and hit her with your pillow. Katie flopped down on your other side.

“I don’t know Angie, I don’t care how long she’s fancied him. I’d hate him too after what he just said,” Katie added, agreeing with you. Angelina shook her head.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it,” she said. You flipped over so you were now on your stomach and stared at her.

“Angelina you say that every time he says things like this. I don’t think I believe you anymore,” you said. Angelina just shook her head.

“I swear! Fred isn’t mean. He wouldn’t purposely hurt you,” she explained.

“Yeah, he’s not mean to you,” you huffed. Angelina just shrugged.

“Maybe he’ll apologize this time,” Katie speculated. As usual, she was looking on the bright side.

“I doubt it,” you scoffed, “Fred never apologizes.”

“He actually seemed pretty upset after you left,” Katie explained. Angelina nodded.

“Yeah he kept pacing and looking towards the stairs like he was waiting for you to come back down,” she added.

“I don’t care what he did after I left. Do you think an apology could fix this?” you questioned. Your friends looked down at your quilt, knowing that you were right. Even after years of hurtful teasing, Fred had never said anything quite like this before. You were finally fed up with his insults and digs at you. Even if your heart still slightly ached for him, you couldn’t allow yourself to keep hurting. You sat up suddenly and surely and held your head high.

“I am done with him. From this moment on I am getting over Fred Weasley.”

~~~~~

For weeks you avoided him. You left the Great Hall when he would arrive. You’d sit as far from him as possible in lessons, and if he was with your friends, you’d leave or pretend that he wasn’t there. You weren’t quite sure if it even mattered though. He hadn’t attempted to make another dig at you since that day in the common room. Angelina and Katie were impressed with you. They had not expected you to stay away from him for so long. In the past, if he had made fun of you you’d usually brushed it off and continue to grin and bear it. But it was your last year and you were determined to enjoy your remaining time at school. And that meant staying away from Fred.

Though this didn’t stop you from missing him occasionally. Sometimes as you fell asleep you envisioned his fiery red locks and his distinctive smokey scent. The scent that you had smelled in your amortentia in fifth year. You envisioned him apologizing to you and trying to right his wrongs. But it was just a fantasy.

~~~~~

You were sitting in the library, your defense against the dark arts assignment in front of you. You were focused, your eyes scanning your textbook when someone sat across from you. You looked up and met eyes with none other than Cormac McLaggen. You narrowed your eyes. He hadn’t spoken to you since the day he stood you up.

“Hey (Y/n),” he said with a smirk.

“What do you want McLaggen?” you asked.

“Ouch. I thought we were on a first-name basis,” he said with mock offense. You rolled your eyes.

“No. You lost that privilege when you left me waiting for you in the common room instead of taking me out on our date,” you responded. McLaggen just laughed.

“Didn’t I apologize for that? I’m pretty sure I did,” he said. You scoffed.

“You didn’t. And even if you did apologize I wouldn’t be interested,” you answered. He just pouted at you in response.

“Come on, why don’t we give it another go? You and me at the black lake after dinner,” he said. You groaned.

“No. Now please leave me alone,” you answered. He furrowed his brows.

“Oh don’t be so whiny. Just meet me there after dinner,” he said, appearing frustrated. You opened your mouth to respond but were cut off by another voice.

“She said no mate.” You turned around to see none other than Fred Weasley. McLaggen scowled at him.

“This isn’t any of your business Weasley,” he said. Fred sat down in the chair next to you.

“She’s my friend so I reckon that it is my business,” he answered defensively. McLaggen stiffened.

“You heard him,” you piped up, “leave me alone.” And with that, McLaggen stood up and walked away.

“You’re not getting another chance,” he said over his shoulder. You rolled your eyes.

“Good,” you retorted. After he had left you turned to Fred.

“Thank you,” you said curtly. He just nodded but made no move to leave the table. After a moment of silence, you began to hurriedly pack your things, determined to continue avoiding him.

“(Y/n), please,” he said, reaching for your arm. You scoffed and pulled it away.

“What do you want Weasley?” you asked. Fred flinched at your use of his last name.

“I just want to talk,” he answered. You continued to shove your things in your bag.

“I’m not interested in talking to you,” you responded. He let out a frustrated huff.

“I can tell. All you’ve done is avoid me,” he said. You paused and looked at him.

“Do you really think I’d be interested in seeing you after what you said to me? After all you’ve said to me?” you huffed. Fred looked down and gulped ashamedly.

“No,” was his response. You just shook your head and stalked out of the library.

~~~~~

After the library incident, Fred seemed to be on a mission. What his plan was, you weren’t sure, but you were on your guard. He timed his mornings so he could force himself beside you at the breakfast table. He would pour you your orange juice himself. During free time, he’d sit near you in the common room and attempt to make you laugh, telling over the top jokes. And the insults had stopped, the factor that had surprised you the most. Suddenly there was a new version of Fred in your life. Or rather, an old version that you hadn’t seen since third year. It confused you and you weren’t sure what his end game was.

One night you were sitting alone in the common room. Angelina and Katie had gone upstairs already but you continued to work on your potions essay beside the fire. You heard the portrait hole open and you turned to see the twins stumble through. It was well past curfew and you were certain the Filch was hot on their tail. George spotted you and waved before heading towards the boy’s dorms. Fred shot you a small smile but lingered in the center of the room. You sent him a curious gaze before returning to your assignment. After a moment you felt the sofa dip and saw that Fred had sat down beside you.

“Can we talk?” he asked. It was the same question that he had asked you weeks before in the library. You sighed.

“Fred I told you that I wasn’t interested in talking to you,” you replied, rubbing your temples.

“Please (Y/n),” he said, his eyes pleading with you.

“Fine,” you responded, “what do you have to say.” Fred looked down at his lap.

“I am so so sorry (Y/n). For what I said that day and for everything I said before,” he said. You scoffed.

“Do you really expect sorry to be enough?” you asked. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

“I never meant to hurt you,” was all he said. You felt yourself become angry again.

“Never meant to hurt me? What a load of rubbish! How did you think I would feel every time you insulted me?” you asked with a huff. Fred grabbed your hands.

“You seemed like you had a thick skin and I was stupid-” his voice was thick with emotion as you pulled your hands away and cut him off.

“None of that is a good enough excuse,” you said.

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured once again. You gathered your things and made a move to get up. Fred made no attempt to stop you. You turned to head towards your room but hesitated.

“Fred I just need to ask you one thing,” you said as you slowly turned to face him. He looked at you with wide and hopeful eyes.

“Ask me anything. Anything at all,” he answered.

“Why. Why did you spend years being so terrible to me,” you asked, hoping for an answer to the questioned you had tortured yourself with for years.

“Because I’m in love with you,” he answered without a beat. Your mouth dropped open.

“What?” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

“I was in love with you and I knew you would never feel the same. It felt better to distance myself than to pine,” he continued. You felt as if your heart had dropped into your stomach. The words that you had wanted to hear for years had finally been spoken but all they did was cause you pain.

“I never thought about how it would affect you,” he said honestly, “I was selfish.” You just gaped at him, unsure of what to say. You almost didn’t trust yourself to say anything. You were afraid that if you spoke you would just drop into his arms and let your resolve crumble, allowing yourself to say the same words back. But you knew that you couldn’t do that. Not when the pain of his words still stung like a fresh wound.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you said after what felt like hours of silence.

“Well I had hoped that you felt the same,” he said, “but I expected you to slap me and storm off.” You almost smiled at his weak attempt at a joke.

“Fred I-” you started.

“It’s okay you don’t need to say anything,” he said, cutting you off. He stood up and made his way towards the stairs.

“I really am sorry,” he said once more before he began to ascend. You watched him leave.

“Fred wait!” you called after him. He turned to look at you. “I admit that I feel something for you,” you said. Fred began to smile.

“(Y/n) that’s-” you held your hand up to cut him off.

“But I can’t just allow myself to be with you. To just pretend that you never hurt me,” you said, “I’m worth more than that.” Fred nodded.

“You are. But I swear, I will spend every minute trying to prove to you that I love you. And I hope that someday you’ll give me a chance,” he said earnestly. You gave him a small smile.

“Good luck then,” you said, before turning around and scurrying up the stairs.

~~~~~

Fred kept true to his word and tried his best to win you over. He followed you around like a lost puppy, giving you small gifts and compliments. You always thanked him but never let your guard down as he doted on you. You were always afraid that things would go back to how they used to. But they never did. You began to look forward to classes when he would pass you short notes with jokes on them or when he would try to make you laugh from the other side of the room. You began to enjoy it when he would come to bother you in the library when you tried to study. He would try to distract you by playing with our hair or dramatically laying across the table. You started to look forward to his interruptions. Slowly your guard began to fall, but you were still careful with yourself and with your heart. But it seemed that Fred was as well.

~~~~~

The seasons began to change and so did your feelings for Fred. You found yourself daydreaming about him more often than before. And somewhere deep in the back of your mind, you allowed yourself to play with the idea of being with him. He was slowly repairing the heart that he had broken. After the Easter holidays, you found yourself alone with him by the black lake. You leaned under a tree with a book in your hand and he laid beside you.

“(Y/n),” he whined, “I’m bored.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“You could go find George or Lee and do something. No one’s forcing you to be out here,” you said with a smile. He sat up and smiled at you.

“But you’re out here. Where else would I want to be,” he said. You felt your face heat up as you shoved his shoulder.

“Oi! What was that for woman!” He yelled, playing throwing a handful of grass at you.

“Freddie!” you squealed, not realizing that you’d let his nickname slip past your lips. He froze.

“You haven’t called me that since third year,” he said quietly. You smiled.

“Well you haven’t been this nice to me since third year,” you answered teasingly. Fred ducked his head. The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. You allowed yourself to stare at him unashamedly. His cheeks were flushed from the warm spring weather as he played with the grass on his robes. His hair was tousled and unkempt and you felt yourself reach out to fix it. He looked up at you with his jaw slacked as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“There,” you said, “all better.” He grinned at you, making you flush. You moved your hand from his hair and moved it to rest on his cheek. Fred placed his hand over yours as he leaned into your touch.

“I love you,” he murmured softly, too enamored with you to even realize that he said it. Your smile only widened.

“I love you too,” you responded softly. Fred’s eyes widened as he realized what you had said. His smile stretched impossibly wide.

“Did I hear that right? Did you just say that you loved me?” he asked teasingly. You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Yes. I love you, idiot,” you replied. He immediately tackled you with a hug, causing you to squeal with laughter. He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your lips. It was a clunky first kiss. A first kiss interrupted by lovesick smiles and laughter.

“You love me!” he exclaimed loudly causing you to giggle. You just leaned up and gave him a quick peck.

“Congratulations Weasley,” you said, “You’ve accomplished your goal.”

[adelheidvonschicksal]

Gosh, the Hawks x intern! Reader sure made me tear up :(

Like imagine him regretting not being there for her and his baby girl from the start and trying to make up for it now 😭😭💖

I was going to imagine this, but I couldn't because I ended up writing 3000 words. 😭 I just love fictional babies so much and want them to be happy, okay? I left it open-ended, so I wouldn't betray the "kick his ass" gang. I'm a weak woman 🥺 I still don't know much about him other than what Wikipedia and memes tell me but here we go!

Part One | Part Two

Hawks doesn’t think you’ll ever let him in, not that he could blame you. Every time you see him, your expression hardens, pretty eyes narrow into a glare, nostrils flare, breathing heavy. His only bright light during your last exchange is that you wait three seconds before slamming the door in his face rather than the usual zero.

Oh, he’s definitely softening you up. Not.

It’s been a month now that he’s been at this, and he is starting to wonder if this entire thing is worth the headache. All he’s accomplished so far is bothering you with his requests to talk. Then, he remembers the little angel that you have with you and thinks it’s worth the headache.

At first, he had ignored your previous exchange that day at the park and the nagging feeling in the corner of his mind upon seeing the two of you. Until that same feeling started to weigh on his heart. He quickly realizes what those feelings were. Guilt and regret at not taking another path with the high schooler he so carelessly took advantage of and impregnated.

If he had, he could be annoying Endeavor about his cute little wife right about now.

Hawks feels a bit like Icarus flying too close to the sun and now sinking in a turbulent ocean of his own making. Instead of drowning, the world decides to throw him a lifeline as the receptionist patches a call through to him.

His heart jumps when he hears you on the other side, resistant but succumbed in your plea, “I need your help.”

The very next day you arrive at the agency, a small hand latched in your own as you stand in the middle of his office. You didn’t want to be here. The thought of being in the same place where your daughter was conceived with the same man who left you makes you antsy. You can’t believe you actually let Fumikage talk you into this.

You remember that phone conversation.

Your daughter’s quirk had been coming in full force, so fast you didn’t know how to handle it. You hoped that Tokoyami would have been able to help her control it since he trained with the very person she received her quirk from much longer than you had and that he was part avian himself.

“Please, Fumi. It’s getting worse,” you begged over the phone. “She accidentally hurt a few of the kids at school. No. No. They’re fine, some cuts and a little shook up, but fine. They won’t let her back in until she gets it under control though, so please.”

“I told you there’s not much else I can do. The best solution would be to go to the person with the same quirk.”

He’s right. He’s absolutely right, but you don’t want to rely on someone like that man especially now. What if he ended up hurting her?

“I don’t want to do that.”

“I know you don’t, but he’s been trying to contact you, right? So I'm sure he'd do it if you asked.”

“Yeah…” You growled. “I swear if he makes one smart-ass remark, I might kill him in front of her.”

“Remember it’s not for you. Although, I don’t think you could kill him even if you tried.”

“If we combined our strength…”

“No,” Tokoyami immediately shot down.

You sighed. “I’m only joking. Do you have the number to the agency still?”

Now you’re here, watching the very man who abandoned you kneel down to your daughter’s eye level. Hawks couldn’t believe he’s actually seeing her. It’s a bit exciting to see how much bigger she’s gotten in such a short time with big fat wings at her back holding way more feathers than she can probably deal with.

“So, this is the special girl,” he says. She shies away from him, hiding behind your leg for protection. “Come on out, Baby Bird, you don’t have to be scared of me.”

Slowly, she peeks from behind you, fingers still clutched in your pants leg, and Hawks smiles.

“There you are. Did your mommy tell you who I am?”

“You’re her and uncle Toko’s old teacher, and you’re going to help me control my quirk.”

“That’s right. You just turned five, right? That’s when a lot of quirks can get kind of hectic.”

“Yeah. I had a birthday party with Elsa last month.”

Hawks’ smile falters for a second as he thinks he doesn’t know exactly what day her birthday is. At least now he knows the month. Quickly, he’s back to normal to keep an air of happiness in the situation. “You know I know a lady that looks a bit like Elsa. She has ice powers like her too,” Hawks says, having grown a little closer to the number one hero's family as he tried to figure out what to do about his own family situation.

When her eyes widen, Hawks knows he has her hook, line, and sinker. She throws her initial shyness to the wind in exchange for excitement. “She does? Can I meet her?”

“I’m sure we could make that happen. If not, her son has an ice quirk, too. I’m sure he’d show you.”

The young girl smiles at him, but Hawks notices her vision drifting to something else. Cautiously, her tiny hand stretches out to him, making him nervous as to what she’s doing, before chubby fingers clutch around the edge of his wing, squeezing into his feathers. “They’re pretty,” she mumbles.

“Want one?” he asks, and she nods.

“This is my birthday present for you, don’t lose it,” he says, offering her a single long feather from the back of his wings. She clutches it to her chest tightly, a happy smile plastered on her face.

Then, you interrupt.

“Baby, mama has to run some errands, but she’ll come right back to pick you up when the clock says twelve. You remember how that looks like, right?”

“It’s a 1 and a 2,” she says, bringing up her hands to show you.

Hawks decides to walk you out as your daughter sits in his office chair, twirling around his feather in her hand. He isn’t sure what to say to you now that he has you near him. Should he thank you for bringing her? Or would that only serve to piss you off since it’s not like you wanted to do this by choice?

“Hawks,” you say, bringing him out his thoughts. “There’s one more thing before I go.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t tell her,” you order. “Don’t you dare tell her.”

His chest squeezes at that but he can understand why you wouldn’t want her to know that information when the two of you aren’t even on speaking terms outside this issue. He didn’t want to do anything to make the situation worse either, so he brings his fingers to his mouth and zips his pinched thumb and index finger across his lips. “I’ll make sure mine and anyone else’s lips are sealed if they want to keep their job,” he calmly reassures you, always calm and carefree so you wouldn’t think that your rejection is successfully deterring him.

From then on, you drop your daughter off at his office twice a week to get a better handle on her powers. You didn’t stay long aside from that, but Hawks likes the small moments when all three of you are in the same room together.

The hero can be thankful that at least one of his girls likes him. His Baby Bird quickly attached herself to him, always pattering after his footsteps like a shadow, and always asking if he’d hold her hand, a smile forming whenever he engulfed her smaller one. He even keeps his promise to let her see Rei, or Elsa as Baby Bird so passionately refers to her, now that the woman is out of the hospital.

He thinks that if that family can recover from what happened then his shouldn’t be much different as long as he keeps trying to put in the effort and not step on your toes too much.

It isn’t long before Baby Bird begins to get a hang of her powers. At least enough that she wouldn’t be hurting anyone at school. Hawks had hoped you would still allow him to train her past that point though, but you quickly told him that she wouldn’t be returning to the agency when she reached that point.

He was sad to hear it of course, but he didn’t want to cause what little progress he made to be broken even if he really wanted to see her fly at least a few inches before she left. She’s been getting into the habit of jumping instead of walking to practice like he used to do. Although, she resembles more of a bouncy frog than a bird, to be honest.

He watches, amused, as she bounces along next to him in the hallway.

“You’ve gotten good at that,” he compliments, drawing her attention upwards.

“I’ve been practicing lots at home, but I’m not that good yet. Will you teach me how to fly like you do tomorrow?” she asks.

“No, Baby Bird. Didn’t your mommy tell you that we’re done with training after today?”

She hangs her head down, her bouncing stopping as she drags her feet. “…Yes,” she answers, letting his arm go lax as she releases his hand. Hawks pauses, watching as she draws her hands to her waist and anxiously bunches and twists the bottom of her shirt, and Hawks throat goes dry as she asks with glossy eyes, “Daddy, why doesn’t mommy like you?”

He’s completely silent, wondering exactly when she figured it out or if someone in the office had told her, let alone told her the fact that you didn’t like him. Well, he guesses it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. “How do you know to call me that?"

“Yesterday, my teacher told us that we inhe-inhe-inherent our quirk from our parents. I remember you said Elsa and her son had the same quirk, and you have big wings like mine and can make your feathers move.”

Hawks smiles. She’s a sharp one to piece it together in a day. “Your teacher is right. I bet you’ve never seen anyone else that looks quite like us.”

“No,” she answers, sniffling. “I don’t want to go home. I want to stay and play with you. Mommy is so mean to you. I hate her!”

Hawks cups her chin in his hand, forcing her to meet his eyes. “Look at me. Don’t talk about your mommy like that. It’s my fault she always gets upset when I’m around. I was mean and bullied her a lot, so if you’re mad, be mad at me. I’m the reason we can’t play together more.”

She sniffs again but it isn’t enough to stop the globs of tears running down her cheeks. “When we saw you at the park, mommy started crying when we went home. I didn’t know why she did.”

Hawks knows why. The reason you’re always so angry at him is because of the hurt you still hold inside for what he did to you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have cried. The opposite of love is indifference as they say, and he knows it’s true because he had been indifferent to the pain he caused ever since the day you came to him with weepy eyes and shaking arms as you told him you were pregnant. You had been scared, and he told you to deal with it.

Hawks scowls. He’s starting to feel sick.

"If you make someone cry, you should say sorry."

Hawks smiles. “I know, baby. I'll apologize to your mama, and I’m going to try my best to make it up to her, and you, too. I’m not going to make either of you cry anymore. Then, when she forgives me, we’ll play together again.”

She looks to him, a small glimmer of hope. “You promise?”

Hawks chuckles and grins at her, the same charming expression that made you fall for him in the first place. He holds out his hand. “Even better. I pinky promise,” he says and confidently hooks her finger with his. “Repeat after me: birds of a feather stick together.”

“Birds of a feather stick together.”

“That’s my girl,” he praises before dropping her hand to pet her head. “I think we might have a little time for me to teach you something before your mommy gets here.”

At the end of the day, Hawks is already waiting for you at the front steps of the agency as your call pulls into parallel park at the sidewalk. You step out and walk towards the steps, but your daughter meets you halfway by hopping over them, her wings flapping to hover before she falls back down onto her feet.

You smile at her. You can’t believe she’s actually flying, at least a little that is, but your surprise is ruined when she cheers. “Mommy, look at what daddy taught me,” she says, bouncing to show you her new hovering skills. “Are you looking? Are you looking?”

“Yes, I’m looking. You’re so good at that. You need to show me more when we get home,” you say but to be honest it’s the last thing on your mind as you glance over to Hawks. “Baby, why don’t you go sit in the car, and I’ll be right there.”

Hawks watches as she obediently follows your instructions, turning her back and happily hopping towards the vehicle.

“(Name), I-” Hawks says, unsure what to expect when your angry glare turns back on him. It isn’t until his yellow visors are already clicking against the pavement that he realizes you hit him. He hisses at the sting on his cheek. “That actually kind of hurt. I guess I had it coming, but I’m not really sure what I did at least recently,” he tries to play off, but you aren’t having it.

“You told her, you told her,” you keep repeating, and he’s backing away in case you decide to strike him again. “Are you trying to get her on your side?”

“Not in the way you’re thinking, and I didn’t tell her,” Hawks explains. “She pieced it together on her own. She’s sharper than you think, she can see that we look alike when she looks in a mirror, and she knows how quirks work. That’s more than enough for her to tell.”

His explanation is enough for you to halt in your assault, and you angrily huff under your breath. You don’t shift to leave, and there’s no door for you to slam away. He finally has you available. “So, what do you want to do now?” he asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean she knows; and honestly, I’m glad she does,” he confesses. “I wouldn’t mind seeing her again if you’d let me.”

Hawks swallows his anxiety as he waits for you to answer. Your eyes shift from him back to where she sits in your car, fiddling with the toys obviously left to clutter in the back before you look back at him, thinking.

“She does seem to like you…for some reason,” you add distastefully, but you know full well how happy training makes her. How her little smile beamed when she fluttered over those steps. How the word daddy came from her so sweetly. “She always likes talking about you after she spends the day here. You make her happy. But that’ll just make it harder for her when you leave ag-“

“I won’t,” he cuts off.

“How do I know that?”

“You don’t but I promise not again. (Name), I’m sorry. I’m sorry for telling you to go away like a burden and for not being there. You must’ve been scared, but I won’t leave either of you alone from now on even if you don’t want me there. I’ll be there if you need me.”

“Drop it. I’m not a part of this,” you tell him.

He knows that you’re rejecting his apology, but his ears can pick up what others can’t. He can hear those soft inflections in your voice right before you harden it into aggression, the slight stutter that you so cleverly thought you hid from him as you nearly fumbled your words, a little glimpse of a teenage girl with a crush on her sensei. “Not yet but do know I plan on trying until I make you fall for me all over again. I miss your cute little face when I'd smile at you.”

You glare. “Say that again, and I will smack you in your "cute little" face.”

"You already did that, but if it makes you feel better go ahead, I can take it if it helps you forgive me.”

He just didn’t expect you to actually take him up on the offer. This time, it’s the other cheek that burns.

“You’re right. That did make me feel better,” you say, smirking as you shake the sting from your hand. Hawks grunts, rubbing his jaw as you begin to walk towards your car. He bends down to pick up his shades before following close behind. You open the driver’s door, and say, “I expect you to pick her up at 9 tomorrow. If you’re late, don’t bother showing up ever again.”

Hawks smirks. You certainly became aggressive these past few years, but he thinks he kind of likes it. As you get in your car, he notices Baby Bird smiling at him from the window, her hand up and clutched around that birthday feather he gifted to her as she waves him off.

He’ll definitely be there on time.

[onceuponastory]

wilder days - nick fowler x reader

You said you hate the smell of cigarette smoke You only used to smoke when you drank When you lived in Chicago Unsure where the wind blows I wish I had known you in your wilder days - wilder days by morgan wade

Plot: Nick hasn’t always been the well dressed, smooth talking agent he’s known as. Quite the opposite, in fact. Pairing: Nick Fowler x Female Reader Warnings: Assault, violence, injury, some small references to how much Nick wants to get into reader’s pants, and how many people he’s fucked (nothing majorly NSFW though). Also some tiny mentions of smoking, drug and alcohol use. There’s also some spoilers for The 355 here, just in case you haven’t seen the movie/don’t know anything about it. Notes: I heard this song on the radio a few days ago, and it made me want to write something for Nick and his backstory before he joined the CIA. I know we don’t know anything about his backstory/past, so this is purely my own interpretation.

“So...” Y/N trails off, taking a drink from her beer. “What’s your favourite colour?” Nick scoffs, raising an eyebrow.

“Really? That’s what you want to ask me?” The girl across from him shrugs. 

“Well, we’re being partnered up together to go undercover, and I wanna know you better. That’s the best I could think of.” Nick frowns. When his boss at the CIA told him he was being partnered up with a female agent to go undercover with as a couple, Y/N is not the first person who came into his head. But unfortunately, she’s the one he’s been assigned. She’s new to the agency, only joining a few months ago. In Nick’s mind, that makes her useless, especially on a mission. And given all the boring, basic questions she’s asked him already on this stupid ‘bonding night out’ she insisted that they go on, he can tell he’s right to be apprehensive. She’s so...innocent. But in some way, that makes her all the more intriguing to him. That and he’s pretty sure she’s one of the only female agents in the whole CIA that he hasn’t corrupted or fucked yet. Which, to be honest, sounds like a challenge. A challenge that’s more intriguing and enticing to Nick by the minute. Especially since it’s evident that she has a crush on him with the way she keeps looking over at him constantly. But that wasn’t anything new to Nick. Most of the new recruits looked like they wanted to fuck him too. And he probably has fucked most of them. Nick sighs, already fed up with this question and answer session.

“It’s red, like fire. Because fire is chaotic and all-consuming. Happy?” Y/N gives a slight nod and goes back to her beer. Nick can see her face falling at his curt reply. He sighs. He doesn’t mean to be an asshole...well, at least, not all the time. Even if Y/N is annoying the hell out of him. “Look, I’m sorry...it’s just that these questions aren’t exactly exciting.” He admits, and Y/N nods, chuckling lightly along with him. “How about I ask the next one?” He asks. “Unless you have something exciting to ask me?” Y/N frowns, clearly deep in thought. Nick suppresses a huff. He’s starting to think that there’s no way she has had a single deep or interesting idea in her life. But before he can ask his own question or quickly make his exit, she speaks again.

“Ooh! I’ve got a good one!” She exclaims. Nick sighs. Dammit. He looks over at her expectantly, taking a sip of his whisky to brace himself. If her last few questions are anything to go off of, this one is probably going to be something like “What was the name of your first dog?” or “What’s your favourite hobby?” But what she asks him next makes him stop and think. For real. “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” Nick raises an eyebrow and laughs. Oh. Maybe she’s not as innocent as he thinks.

“In what sense? I’ve done a lot. I’m a bad boy.” He smirks, and Y/N laughs loudly. So loud in fact that Nick almost grimaces from how loud she is.

“Anything.” 

“Oh, that’s a good one.” And he’s right, it is. But given the last few questions she’s asked, that’s not much of an accomplishment. Nick studies his brain, trying to think of an answer. Y/N’s eyes widen.

“Oooh, have I stumped you? Does Nick Fowler and his spotless record have some secrets that he doesn’t want anyone to know about?” She grins. She’s right. He does. And he’d probably end up going to prison for a long, long time if anyone ever found out about them. Like how he’s been playing both sides, making money as one of the best agents at the agency whilst also working for the villains, ensuring they’re always one step ahead with the intel he collected from his job at the CIA. So telling that story is definitely a no. As is the one about the number of agents he’s banged in the supply closet beside his office. It’s a cliché place, but it works well. So again, that story is a no...at least, if he still wants to get in Y/N’s pants, that is. He gives her another quick, cursory glance over...Yeah, that’s still something that he’s thinking of doing. Even though she’s annoying, she still looks like she’d be a good fuck. Nick sighs.

“Okay, I have one.” He nods, and Y/N grins, leaning forward expectantly. “About ten or fifteen years ago, way before I was an agent, like after I finished college, I took a year out before doing my masters degree. And I got up to some pretty wild stuff.” He takes a drink, and Y/N frowns.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna tell me? Come on, Nick, I need some spice.” Nick frowns, giving her a look. 

“Give me a minute! Don’t interrupt me!” He orders, his voice snapping. Y/N gets the hint pretty quickly and leans back in her chair, muttering an apology under her breath. “Thank you.” Nick nods. Like he said, he doesn’t mean to come across as so mean usually, but when he works with the sort of people he does, it becomes part of the job and second nature by a certain point. “Anyway, as I was saying...” He gives Y/N another look, and she blushes. Nick smirks. He loves it when they do that. “I mean, it wasn’t anything terrible. I just smoked some pot and some cigarettes here and there, went to a few strip clubs, stayed out late getting drunk. Got in a fight once, but nothing major. It was really just the usual dumb stuff kids do. Nothing too exciting...”

But of course, as with most of Nick’s secrets...that was only part of the story.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fifteen years ago

“I gotta be honest son, it’s not looking good for you.” The police officer sighs, looking over the file as he regards Nick with a look. Nick leans back against the cool metal of the chair in the interview room and sighs. 

“It was self-defence.” He huffs. It feels like the third or fourth time he’s said that already. The officer frowns, looking him up and down.

“Son, you beat him up so badly he’s in the hospital with multiple fractured ribs, multiple bruises, a broken nose and a fractured orbital bone.” Nick tries to stop a grin from spreading across his face. He had no idea he hit him that hard. In a way, he’s kinda proud of himself. The officer sucks his teeth and sighs. “That’s not self-defence anymore. You’re looking at an assault charge. A severe one. One with prison time attached to it.”

“When did it stop being self-defence?” 

“After the first fractured rib.” Nick chuckles.

“I see. I shouldn’t have hit him that hard then, should I?” The officer gives him a strange look but continues with his questioning.

“Why did this happen? Take me through it.” Nick huffs, rolling his eyes.

“I told you already! How many more times?” He demands. “He came up to me out of nowhere, unprovoked, and threatening to attack me. I retaliated. Is that really a crime, officer?” Nick wasn’t lying. Well, not exactly. He had been threatened. But that was only because he started it. But the officer doesn’t need to know that. His mind goes back to earlier that night when he met the man in question.

“Another, please.” Nick nods at the bartender, holding up his empty whiskey glass. Across the bar, there’s a group of rowdy guys, cheering and laughing. Nick grimaces. He hates people like them. Why can’t people be more dignified? “Can you tell them to shut up or something?” He asks the bartender when he places down his drink.

“Sorry, man, it’s Friday night. They’re having fun. It’s not hurting anyone.” The bartender shrugs, heading back down the bar. Nick clenches his jaw in anger. 

“No, just my eardrums and head.” He hisses. He downs his whisky quickly, slamming his empty glass down on the bar, making some of the others at the bar jump slightly. But not the annoying guys. He gets up and walks towards the door to leave. As he passes the guys, he regards them with a threatening glare. One of them, who Nick recognises as the main troublemaker, notices him glaring and frowns.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” The boy asks Nick. Nick quirks an eyebrow. “Seriously, do not fucking start with me. I’m not in the mood.” The boy warns, and Nick scoffs. 

“Trust me, I don’t wanna fight you. But a word of advice: shut the fuck up next time. Nobody wants to hear your shitty jokes and stories.”

“You’re the one who better shut up before I shut your mouth for you.” The boy warns, narrowing his eyes.

“Come on guys, not here. Take it outside.” The bartender orders, pointing to the door. Nick laughs, gesturing towards the door. 

“I was just leaving. And by the way...I’d like to see you try. I’ll be outside if you need me.” He tells the group with a wink before opening the door and leaving the bar. “...And then he came out of nowhere and started fighting me, so I defended myself. I really don’t see why I’m here, officer.”

“You’re here because the other guy and all his friends say that you’re the one who challenged them and beat him to a pulp, even when he was begging you to stop.” Nick rolls his eyes. Of course, he would say that, the fucking liar. ...Okay, maybe Nick was actually the one who threw the first punch, but he was still defending himself. How can he be blamed for that? This criminal justice system is fucking corrupt. Maybe he’ll do something to change it. Or perhaps he could use it to his advantage. Yeah...he’ll join the police and make sure he reaps the benefits of the corrupt system. Actually, no. Why limit himself to the police? Why not go even bigger. Somewhere like the CIA. Nick knows he could rise up the ranks there easily. And who would even go after him? It’s starting to sound like a plan. 

That is if this stupid assault charge doesn’t screw everything up. No doubt he’ll need a clean record to join the CIA before he ruins it even more. At least his family has some money tucked away for this sort of scenario, and a good lawyer too. Hopefully, they’ll get his charges dropped. And after that, his record will just need scrubbed clean again. He’s sure his parents will be okay with it. It’s happened enough times by now. It’s probably second nature to them. Nick messes up, and his messes get tidied up and hidden. Just like all of his family’s messes. 

And sure enough, a few months later, Nick walks out of the courthouse with all charges dropped and a new goal in mind...and now, here he is: one of the best agents in the whole agency, with nobody knowing the darkness of his past, or his present.

“Wow.” Y/N muses, raising her brow. “You sound like quite the troublemaker Nick. I kinda wish I knew you back then.” Nick smirks. If only she knew what he was really like. The poor, innocent thing would probably lose her mind.

“Trust me, you don’t.”

“...Hmm, I kinda do, though. I like troublemakers, actually.” She winks. Nick raises an eyebrow. Is she...flirting with him? Maybe he’ll get into her pants sooner than he thought.

“Is that so? Well, what do you say we get out of here, and I can show you how bad I can be?” He asks, holding out his hand.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Y/N replies, taking his hand.

Taglist: @buckysboobs, @ccmarvelxx, @bearly-koalafied, @xoxoloverb, @simplybombshell, @phildunphyisadilf, @loudchaosjellyfish, @littleeuphoriaelf, @livstilinski, and @charmed-asylum​. I know most of you wanted to just be tagged in Lies part two, but I thought I’d tag you in this too if that’s ok!

[husbandohunter]

Dottore with short drabble “You only ever brought me pain and I’m sick of it.”

Something angsty pls? Thank you!

Tainted Glass [Dottore x Reader/Genshin Impact]

Synopsis: Can you escape the prison you made?

(A twisted Cinderella story. The girl was covered in cinders because she was fatally addicted to drowning in flames.)

Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, violence, death

(A/n): To be honest anon, I didn’t know what the word ‘drabble’ means until I googled it. I uh...hope you don’t mind the length :> 

-----------------------

You fell back against the cold hard floor with your arms bent and head turned sideways. The stinging pain spreads across your cheek. It burns. But your mind was still trying to register what had just came into fruition. 

Why?

The thought was so foreign somehow as if you could hardly believe he was doing this. But then the scene plays in your head again. You froze, your gaze enlarged and clueless while staring at the pale ground as it slowly begins to darken in the seeping movement of his menacing, haunting shadow. 

"Insolent woman, you wretch!" He spat in a disgusted tone, "How dare you speak to me in such demanding manner? Have I already told you, only talk when you have something important to say?"

You didn't respond, rather you merely let the strands fall in front of your vision as you gingerly pressed your hand against the place where he hit you. 

I…don't quite understand…

Dottore glowers down at your hunched form. He was never a man known for the virtue of patience. This man, the one who calls him your husband, you learned a long time ago to not meet his eyes as they would signal a hint of dominance amidst his authority, especially during moments like these. You came to feel his eyes instead, they were usually intense and full of wrath, sometimes crazed and curious while looking at his finest creations. He always loved experimenting in his labratory. After all, it was the only thing that could truly make the madman smile.

What is it that I'm missing? Where did I go wrong?

And you would do anything to obtain at least a fraction of the love he had left in his heart. 

He marches onward with heavy footsteps, paying no mind to your well-being, "Tch get out of my sight. I don't have the time to entertain with anymore these theatrics."

At the sound of him leaving you darted your attention towards him, "Wait, come back. Come back, " you plea softly, "Hector…" But he ignores your call. The back of your fiance disappears behind the door and slams it with a resounding thud. He was gone. You couldn't save him.

"No," As a result, you burried your face into your palms and cried.

“I'm sorry.”

…

What is love?

Being raised in one of the most prestigious bloodlines of Fontaine, a life filled with riches since your parents were well known scholars throughout Teyvat, they provided you and your family with everything you needed. From exquisite dishes to priceless jewelry, yet even among those riches you never did find an answer to your question. They were tangibles and short-lasting, eventually leaving you with nothing until the glass of your heart was filled empty. They seemed to have cared more about their fortune along with the brightest child of their family line, your brother, a male heir, someone who fulfilled their expectations where you couldn't do so. And because he was able to give them what they wanted, he was loved.

I see, love is conditional.

Realizing that you possessed no talent to achieve what your brother had accomplished, you came to accept that you were undeserving of their love. Love was for the smart. Love was for the gifted.  Love was for everything you are not. There was no place for your kind and thus you locked yourself up in your bedroom chambers along with your fragile heart where no one would try to find you, picking up the books upon the shelves and getting lost in their fantasies. 

They told you many beautiful things about the world and many reasons why it was so tragic. Because they weren't real. The story begins with a princess who was a kind-hearted soul, deprived from the care of her evil stepmother and dreams of marrying a prince from a land far far away. They often end on a happily ever after with the princes finding her one true love. You've never seen anything like it. Where two people, despite the struggles they went through, loved each other unconditionally.

Unconditional love only exists in dreams.

Or so you thought to believe.

One day a man marched right at the doorsteps of your mansion. He was a student coming all the way from Sumeru Academia and had high hopes of building a business partnership with your father. The man was declined of course, you watched from the garden bushes as he was sent off back into his carriage. He stops abruptly and turns his head ajar to catch your figure, his inquisitive eyes were both striking and sharp. Like thorns of a rose that was ready to prick anyone who dares to come close. Even so, they made a very lasting impression.

Red eyes.

It was the first time that someone had looked your way.

Couple of months later, the government had arranged a grand ball where all nobles would gather and commit to building their social circle. Useless events. There was no reason for you to engage. While your parents were occupied with the latest gossips and your brother surrounded by fathers who were eager to marry their daughters to him, you snuck outside to the balcony and hid away from the crowd. Quiet at last. And as things should be. The moon was your only friend because she was just like you; half empty. Maybe that was why you still had a glimmer of hope for the other half to be filled. 

Part white, you inquired, pristine and untainted. From far away it looked similar to snow. 

"My, how pleasantly surprising."

While the other part was stained with black cinders.

You glanced over your shoulder to see a man leaning against the pillar. His mint coloured bangs were slicked back in a trendy fashion, complimenting the white suit he adorned himself with. The golden chains hanging around his ebony boots dangled and clanged with each step he took forward until the light finally reveals his face.

"You seem familiar," you say while squinting your eyes, "Are you the person my father rejected back in February?"

He quirks one brow and you were afraid if you had offended him. But before you could utter an apology, the man splits his lips into a toothy grin and bursts out into a maniac-like laughter. He was completely insane, you thought to yourself. Though he paid no mind to your discomfort and continued to dwell in his amusement, "Hahaha straightforward, I like it! So what if I am? Is it a requirement to be a noble for me to simply have a chat?"

"And if I may ask why?"

"Hmmm, why?" The man reaches for the balcony and presses his back there. He threw his head backward before drilling his ruby gaze into yours, "I too am not fond of annoying crowds. Those snobbish fools thinking they're above everyone else just because they have a couple of mora when that is all they are worth. It's almost too hilarious for my own good."

You could tell there was disdain in his tone. Mainly towards your father who were one of the many unkind nobles of Fontaine and was only liked because of his success. Gripping your hands upon the stone railings, you looked down at the distant trees below while the wind rustled them apart, "I can't deny that," you say dissapointedly, "It's common for nobles not to associate with lower classes as it could potentially ruin their image. Though I may not have been there but I'm sure you had much to offer in terms of your brilliance, erm, Mister…?"

"Hector," Hector placed a palm on his chest with a polite bow following suit, "Hector Dufour-Lapointé. It is a pleasure to make you an acquaintance Lady (Y/n)."

"You know my name?"

"How could I not?" Hector smirks lazily as he danced around you, "I saw you before hiding behind the rose bushes back in your estate. Quite curious why you didn't attempt to say hello."

He even remembers that too. You fiddled with the fabric of your dress, "My apologies. I'm not use to socializing so much."

“Is that so? I think you're not giving yourself enough credit," he complimented while shrugging, "This is much more entertaining than hanging in that insufferably crowded room, it was an unexpected occurence to meet you here of all places. However, I must say time can fly if I'm able to enjoy myself."

You shifted away from his stare, "You flatter me. We've only been talking for a few minutes."

"I have yet to realize it then" Hector's cheerfulness remains at stance despite your gloomy response. He leans forward like a curious child and tosses you a question, "Then allow me to ask, what brings you out here Lady (Y/n)? I don't see any reason when your family are such highly respected people of Fontaine." 

"I'm not like them!" You retort instantly, causing the man to glance at you with skepticism, "I mean, I have nothing to do with them and they have nothing to do with me. That's just how it is. They already have Clement after all…"

Why am I telling him this?

"Ah your brother I assume. Yes so I've heard much about his genius mind. There were a few instances where he and I collaborated at Sumeru Academia," Hector speaks as if regarding to his unpleasant memories, "Although he never said anything about having a sister."

"We're not that close. And I'm not very fond of him," you confessed bluntly.

"Neither am I," Hector agreed with a scowl, "He claims his position using the knowledge derived from history books but never tries to think beyond the norm. That ignorant mindset of his will surely be his downfall one day."

"Ignorance can lead to anyone's downfall. If they turn a blind eye to the truth, so much can be taken from them," you paused shortly from rambling too much, "That's what I read in books at least."

"As expected of your lineage," he sighs whimsically, "Such avid readers."

"Well my family prefers documents and research. I've gone through them too but I will always love reading fiction."

"Ha! Seems you really are trying to be different from the rest of your family."

Seconds turn to minutes and minutes to hours, you had already forgotten about the cold breeze despite your dress being less than ideal for the outdoors. The man, although he can be a little to blathering at times, was more than what seemed to be on the surface. At first you thought of him as someone here to take advantage of your relations to your father but he seemed so sincere when listening to your stories, so eager while expressing his thoughts and even made you laugh a couple of times. You didn't realize that the clock had already struck twelve as the guests were preparing to leave but you just weren't ready to do the same.

"Until next time (Y/n)," he takes your fingers and pressed a kiss on top of them, though you were more struck by how he addressed you without honorifics, "I look forward to speaking with you again."

A warm smile graces your lips as you cursty, "Likewise Hector. Thank you for listening to me. I know I must have taken a long time."

Hector sneered but you already learned that it was simply his way of expressing amusement, "Hardly. I was thoroughly entertained."

When your parents found out about your meeting with him, they made it clear that you would never see him again. Hector Dufour-Lapointé is what he calls himself but the real name behind this man was Hector Valliere who came from a village hidden in the west of Fontaine. Rumours said that he was chased out of his hometown by an angry mob, claiming him to be a madman conducting unethical experiments on humans. Shortly after his arrival in Sumeru, he abandoned his past identity and replaced it with a new one in order to enter the academy under legal supervision. Associating with a man of a suspicious reputation would only cause harm to your family's name. Though you could barely care much about their reputation. There was nothing for you to benefit from it.

Few weeks have passed and you evetually gave up on the thought of hearing from Hector. They were only fleeting moments, nothing more. Your routine would stay the same as you kept on plucking more books off the shelves, killing whatever time you had. However the activities you used to enjoy somehow lost it's flair and there would be a slight pain in your chest whenever you turn to a page with the princess as she is surrounded by her friends. What exactly changed? Your family still treated you the same. Did you suddenly grow bored from doing the same thing everyday? Why is it that you feel much more lonelier despite being alone for so long? It was hard to tell in a singular perspective. If only there was someone here to give you some insights on things you couldn't see…

A silver bird lands by your front window and you nearly fell out of your chair as it flapped their wings violently. A machine?! They dropped what seems to be an envelope within the thick bushes before taking off and buzzing into the evening sky. You switched off the lock and lifted the glass within a single movement, snatching the piece of paper so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. Hastily you opened it. Both curious and cautious of why would anyone send you mail in such a discreet approach.

Chère Mademoiselle (Y/n),

I can only imagine the shock of your expression once reading this letter. I'm only writing to you since I assume that your father had already told you those nasty rumours about my past. No matter. I trust that you have a good head on your shoulders to not prejudge people using such miniscule details. I wish to speak with you again. Unless you have other plans staying in that stuffy room of yours, meet me behind the clock tower at 11:00 p.m. Don't be late.

Bien à vous,

H.

"It really is him!" The happiness spreads all across your features as you clutched the letter to your chest. For some reason, your heart wouldn't stop racing. It was a simple yet thoughful action on his part but despite how short his greeting was, every word held the weight of a thousand sparks, "I…I can't stop smiling."

And without hesitation, you prepared to leave. No one noticed your absence.

-------

It was only halfway where you realized that Hector didn't give many details redgarding why he planned this sudden event. You caught sight of him standing under the roofs with his hands hidden behind his back. He had on his signature lopsided grin, brows uneven as he glanced at you casually.

"How very punctual, were you so eager that you couldn't wait?" He teases.

"I was surprised when your bird knocked upon my window," you inform, "Is it something urgent?"

"Not at all. I merely wanted to catch up with old times," Hector tilts forward to emphasize his suggestion, "Care to indulge me for a bit?"

You crossed your arms, "Then what is it that you're hiding behind your back?"

"Hmm?" He hums, "You mean this?"

"Ah!"

Roses. A bouquet of bright red flowers were presented to you, nicely wrapped in fabric. In the language of Fontaine, recieving them could mean multiple of things and you couldn't help but feel hesitant despite his thoughtful gesture, "Why are you giving me this?"

"Is it so wrong for me to be a gentleman? I thought it would be best to prepare you a gift after you put all that effort to come out in such a late hour," Hector mused to himself, "Especially when you had to make sure no prying eyes would catch us."

You let out a small laugh before accepting the bouquet, "I wouldn't go as far to say that."

"Oh?" Although it was hard to see, Hector managed to catch a glimpse of your flushed cheeks hidden behind the flowers. A darken smirk climbs onto his face at the inviting thought of what it could mean, "Tell me more."

The whole night you both spent walking around the empty plaza with only the stars as your guide. They paved a silver path reflected in the horizon above, free flowing like one of the many watercolour paintings hung in your chambers, uncertain where they may lead but you followed them regardless. If it weren't for Hector's inivtation you might have never known about the parts of your city due to the restricted lifestyle you lived. He listened to every one of them. The stories you had to tell when there was no one for you to talk to and the complaints about your brother whenever he wanted to snitch on your actions just to get the praise out of your father. You expressed your frustrations when speaking about your incompetences, joy after reading a good fairytale book written by your favourite author, there was so much to say that you were worried if Hector soon grew tired from them.

"Go on. I'm listening."

And your heart flutters again. Suddenly everything felt so light with each step you took, it was as if you walked across the stars in the sky rather than the heavy pavement of the ground you called your home. But even if happiness was a bliss, it tormented you. Because companionship made you realize how poor your were all along. That you had everything yet you had nothing, slowly withering away like the roses you held in your hand. Convinced that your existence was worth nothing more than nothing itself. Doomed to be dismissed and forgotten. Rotting away...Hector stays by your side as you cried softly into the night.

From a distance the bell rings and echoes just like the time before during Fontaine's grand ball. Hector shows you a secret route so that no one could find you.

"Will you write to me again?"

The request was so innocent, purely from genuine intentions and devoided of anything he had in mind. Hector would always laugh in these situations when things have gone unexpectedly yet pleasingly his way but held back knowing that it would be foolish to waste such a priceless opportunity. And so he gave you his smile, one full of secrets where you had mistakened it as a promise, "Of course my dear."

Every night you could no longer fall asleep since he had occupied your thoughts completely. Sometimes you'd dream of him and their tales would unfold similarly to the ones you have read. It gone to the point where the maids would have to wake you up during late afternoons due to the dramatic change in your sleep schedule. Though, you didn't care what they did to you. As long as no one found out about your secret rendezvous.

You never thought that there'd be a day where you would voluntarily give up reading your beloved fairytales. They were now replaced by a stash of his letters that have been accumulated over the past few months. You read them each day, pacing back and forth within the walls of your room, whispering his sentences as if he were the one saying them to you. He made you feel special. You were addicted to this feeling. Eventually you managed to memorize his words by heart. 

The pages of your diary were filled with notes. Like your very own  fairytale carved into reality. From the rose petal, now dried, to the hairpin he snatched from a distracted merchant and a single strand of his hair you found within your cloak after a warm embrace, all of these items, a remnant of the man you loved were taped up in these pages. Sometimes you could even feel his prescence because it was all you needed. It didn't matter if Clement threw insults about how worthless your existence was, your parents could lock you in this prison if they wanted to but they shall never take away Hector from you. Never. You swear it. He was your whole world and the prince who saved you from a life made of aching emptiness. You would do anything to keep him by your side. Anything to gain his affection.

Anything.

"I had a feeling that you were the culprit dear sister."

Your arms stutters as they clutched tightly on the scrolls you took off from the shelves. The light crept into the room like arms reaching out to clutch around your ankles, warning you for trespassing. You turned around dreadfully to see Clement pressing his shoulder against the doorframe with his arms folded and a wicked expression aimed at your pitiful state.

"Why…Why are you still awake?" You say in disbelief, "I thought everyone was asleep."

"Please. Not only are you shameless but hypocritical as well. You truly are a dissapointment to our family."

"Wait," taking a step forward, you stopped him before he makes his exit, "I'll put them back. Just don't tell father about this."

But like your parents, your brother was unkind. Clement doubles over and hugs his torso, cackling through his teeth, "Is that how it is?" He swipes his arm up and you see a parchment paper held between his fingers. 

"No!"

"Ma chérie (Y/n). I must say all this tenacious effort of sneaking in my letters to your window is becoming more and more tiresome. But of course, you are an exception. I want the scrolls you've mentioned the other day at my lair tomorrow evening. Make sure no one discovers this. I'm counting on you. Cordialement! Hector."

"No…" you whispered, feeling the weight of the world fall upon your shoulders as it shattered apart. Hector. If possible, you hoped that the pieces could just crush you right then and there. Your knees felt weak and a fright takes over but despite your turmoil, Clement didn't show a shred of sympathy.

"So this is why you've been acting odd lately. Pathetic," he flaps the paper tauntingly in his grasp, "I can't decide if I should be impressed or baffled by your actions. A secret romance with a criminal and the bloodline of Fontaine's most respected government associates? Even though you've hit rock bottom, you still decided to dig deeper."

"Clement you don't understand!"  Stumbling upon your footsteps, you desperately tried to convey your predicament even if it meant feeding his ego, "Hector is not the man you think. He was shunned by the people of his hometown, treating him as if he were nothing. They…They ignored him! All this time he needed someone to recognize his brilliance, someone to understand." Shakily, you brought your tensed arms to your chest and screamed a silent whisper, "Someone to listen but no one did. He must have felt so alone…"

Clement flinches when you suddenly clutched onto his biceps. When he looked into your eyes, a shiver ran down his spine.

"Hector is counting on me. I'm the only one who can save him. No one else. He needs me Clement, he needs me!" 

"Tch."

An ear-splitting scream of his hand against your face echoes across the room. It knocked you out of your stance and you bumped into the table, grunting while the scrolls to tumbled to the floor.

"Crazy woman, I'm embarassed to be related to you!"

While you were still trying to regain your balance, your brother had already ran off. It wouldn't be long before he alerted your parents, the clock ticking away like sand until the final hour leaves you with nothing but an empty glass. 

"No," despair swallows the strength away from your legs and you crawled towards where he used to stand, "Don't take him away from me…I need him…"

I can't live without him.

I can't live without him.

I can't live without him.

Tears begin to form by the corners of your eyes as you clenched your teeth. This was no time to cry. Balling your fists, you sprinted out of the room, pushing whatever stood in your way as if you were running for your life. 

And if you considered everything else, it wasn't that far from the truth.

-------

"Hector! Hector are you there?" After arriving upon his house, you began knocking on his door aggressively. The lock clicks and you were greeted by an evidently annoyed man gnawing his teeth together.

"Tsk. There better be a good reason-"

"They're coming for us! We have to go. Now. Before it's too late. My father is probably already waking and making arrangements for you to-"

"Enough, I can't even catch what you're saying," He pinches the bridge of his nose while you were still stuck in a frenzy state. He takes a step back and opens the door wider, gesturing for you to come inside, "Get in already. I have a feeling that this will be a long night."

Hector observes intently at the words you tell him.

Not out of concern but akin to the way he watches the insects react when he exposes them to a different environment.

He was a scientist after all. A madman in which you deliberately fell in love with, so much to the point that he was able to feel pity for once. How you trusted him wholeheartedly with all of your vulnerabilities, emotions and secrets like handing him your parts just so he could put you back together again. Tinkering was always one of his favourite hobbies and he couldn't help but feel a twisted sense of pride at the thought of you being completely wrapped around his finger. 

Perhaps that was the reason why he loved you. Because he didn't love you. He loved you in parts.

"It was only a matter of time," Hector sighs. He sneaks his grasp into yours, knowing how much it affects you and puts on an invisible mask of deciet, "I already knew this day would happen long before anyone could have predicted it."

"You did?" With worried eyes you gazed at him, "What shall we do then?"

Knowing he hit the target, his lips begin to curl up towards his ears, showing his sharp white teeth that shone against the dim-litted room. Hector asks, "Do you love me?"

A silly question. You didn't hesitate to answer, "Of course I do. I've said it many times."

"Prove it to me," Forcing his forehead against yours, Hector commands in a dangerously low tone, "Kill your brother and only then you can truly be mine."

Your brain sutters, trying to absorb what he had just said. Kill? As in to take a life? It sounded wrong. But...was it wrong if the life belonged to someone who ruined yours?

Dumbfoundedly, you glanced into the bloody orbs of your lover, his black pupils thinning into knives while burning in the hellfire of his true colours. Hector runs a hand from the scalp of your hair, down to your cheek before gingerly sliding his fingers at your jawline. He pulled you close and whispered into your ear.

"Are you scared?"

Ah, this wasn't about your feelings. This was about him and your future and there could be no future you without him by your side.

You let your eyelids drop and leaned into his touch, "I could never be scared of you Hector. Whether it is within my power or not, I will make sure no one gets in our way. I swear it."

"Good," he continues to have you feed on his affection, "I knew I could count on you."

-----------

The news of your brother's death filled every headline Fontain had to offer. He was driven off a cliff while making a trip towards Sumeru. No one survived. The remains were so crushed to the point that authorities had trouble identifying their bodies. The only explanation they could come up with by observing the leftover tracks was that the horse must have gone out of control and ended up dragging the carriage along with it.

Ha. Serves him right.

Food poisoning. The vial Hector made was very effective. You made sure to bury it away from your mansion.

With no other choice, you became your family's next heir. Hector notifies you that he would be away for several months to solidify a unique connection with a man hailing from Snezhnaya. You didn't think he would arrive at your doorsteps with so much authority. Fatui soldiers followed from behind as the staff paved a way for them to enter. Your father was clearly displeased by his outrageous approach but he knew he was in no place to deny.

"Upon the agreement between Fontaine and Snezhnaya, Lady (Y/n) will become Harbinger Il Dottore's wife," the Duke announces, "This news will be publicly announced at the end of October."

Dottore? Is that what he calls himself?

As if claiming his victory, Dottore shoots your father a devilish smile. You could feel the dining table shake when he kept pressing his fist against the smooth surface, begrudingly congratulating you both for the new engagement. Your mother bursted into tears.

Was it worth it?

You watched both of your parents mourn silently in their own manner. Perfectly knowing that you were the main cause. But you weren't able to feel any sadness because in the end, you now had everything you've ever wanted. 

The inheritance.

Their attention.

But most of all, him.

And when you were convinced that this was your happily ever after, that fairytales were not just beautiful lies for the sake of comfort, you didn't realize  you were already living a life made of beautiful lies conjured by your own mind for the sake of your own comfort. 

"You're nothing without me."

Dried and calloused hands squeezed around your throat as you flailed your legs against the soft fabric of the carpet floor. He encases you in a straddling position, enjoying the sight of your tortured and clenched face. Hector…no, Dottore hated it when you disobeyed him. He despised it when his creations don't work the way he wanted them to and he had no use for things that are broken.

"G-hka--k..-"

"How many times do I have to remind you to not use my birthname. Do those ears of you even function properly? Or must I fix them myself?"

You gasped for air when he relaxed his grip. Vision a blur, you coughed a few times before he pulls your arm so that you lay flushed against his chest.

"Don't forget who saved you dear (Y/n). Because of me you were able to escape that miserable life you've despised for years. I expect the utmost gratitude on your part at all times, it is only fair that I punish you for not meeting my requirements, don't you agree?" Dottore lifts his hand up to pinch your cheeks, pulling your head to stare at your eyes, "After all, there is no one else in this world who can put up with you…but me."

His words were poison in which you drank like a woman starved. It made you feel numb to the pain the more you drowned in their alluring scent, the taste was sweet, a remedy for the bitterness of reality where the man of your dreams was nothing but a cruel monster. You came to believe that the reason why he treated you so harshly was because he was scared of losing you. You were caught in the trap of what seemed to be love and devotion when truly, you were just a toy to be used at a means end. He breaks you and he puts you back together, over and over again, filling in between the cracks formed in your glass heart with the phrases you loved to hear. Just like how he filled the other holes of your life where no one else did. You called it kindness. He saw it as entertainment.

Most people pay attention to the flower's beauty but they never acknowledge the thorns hidden beneath it's blossom.  That is why they bleed. They get hurt. Though, you didn't mind shedding blood if it was for his sake.

Because you would do anything for him.

You would do anything to bring back the memories of Hector Dufour-Lapointé and save him from the Harbinger that ruined his life. Your life. It wasn't his fault. You knew you could change him to what he was before because you were in love with him, that he might still in there. Somewhere.

Right?

…

Please come back.

Time continues to flow like the tears of your dying heart despite yearning for it to turn at the past. Dottore already left the room a long time ago but you didn't. Raising your head away from your hands, you peered at the door in front of you, begging desperately through a chanting record of despondence. 

Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back. Come back.

Images, they slipped through your fingers, slowly becoming more distant until your mind began to see them as illusions. Dreams. Things that were not real. Telling you that your life was a lie. 

"Come back to me…Hector."

Because the man you loved was withering in your memories and you couldn't do anything to save him.

A dry croak robbed you of your breath as you turned to look in the mirror.

Worthless. You were always worthless, it was what your parents told you since birth. It was what you became when he wasn't at your side because without him, your existence was worthless. You lied for him, you stole for him you, took a life for him. You destroyed yourself for him to point that it was hard to believe you were even looking at yourself.

Worthless. It's who I am.

And despite it all, you couldn't obtain his love.

(Crack).

Worthless things don’t deserved to be loved.

(Crack. Crack).

But what if it’s because I’m worthless, that he won’t love me back?

(Crack).

Your eyes jolted open, causing you to gasp sharply. When the sweet lies dispersed in your head and cleansed you of deceit, everything started to make sene. You came to realize why your wish was impossible all along.

Dottore...no, Hector, the reason wasn't because he didn't return your feelings. Neither was it due to the fact that he hurt you through his actions. Nor when he made you cry or scream for help before feeding you with more lies, thinking he would never hurt you again. It was none of those things.

It was because the man you loved this whole time was someone who could love no one but himself.

"Ha...haha," sucking in your breath, a sinister laugh escapes your mouth, "Hahahahahahaha.....!"

Everything was worthless.

You grabbed a nearby hairbrush and threw it at the mirror, watching yourself shatter into a million pieces.

There was only one thing left to do. 

------

"Ugh, where is it?!"

It was late into the night where every staff had gone to sleep. The Harbinger fumbles with his keys while standing at the door of his basement as he was too busy proceeding with his research rather than considering the thought of rest. Usually he acted upon them on his own will, performing various experiments for enjoyment. However, ever since the Snezhnayan court had requested him to look into the ancient arts of alchemy, Dottore was forced to carry it out before the deadline approached. Otherwise his position as Harbinger would be revoked.

"What a bunch of self-centered blockheads. Can't they understand that it take quality time to get quality results?"

Most of his important documents were stored on the otherside. Half of it came from his father-in-law's library. He had you to thank for that.

"Ah finally," he mutters, though still dissatisfied, "I should have a word with my butler for misplacing them."

Dottore shoves the key into the lock but instead of twisting the knob he noticed something strange. It was old and had yet to be fixed but somehow he didn't have any trouble adjusting his wrist. Then he saw there were a set of freshly made fingerprints upon the smooth metallic surface. However, the only person awake at this time would be him-

An intruder!

Dottore drops everything to the ground and yanks the door open. He skittered down the stone stairs while cursing under his breath. Using the delusion gifted by the Tsaritsa, the Harbinger activated his lazer-like pillars as he took advantage of their glow to light up the unlit room.

"What in the abyss...?!"

Except it wasn't dark.

"All of these scrolls, I recognize them," without sparing a single glance, you spoke nostalgically towards the bookshelves, "It brings me so much memories..."

Dottore clenches his teeth together as his eyes shone an angry red, you were holding a torch dangerously close to his hard-earned collection, "What do you think you're doing?!" He fumed, "Put that out, AT ONCE! Don't make me repeat myself!

"They're precious to you aren't they?" You finally shifted to face him, "More than me."

"What has gotten into you?" He was about to hurl at you until he saw your torch lowering, causing him to retreat. You were strangely noncholant and he couldn't help the feeling of disturbance. Accepting that he didn't have the upperhand, Dottore decided to use a different approach, "(Y/n)."

The sound of your name falls from his lips. You faltered.

"I'm sorry for what I have done. I know I was dishonourable to you, as your husband and lover, and that you didn't deserve to see me so aggressive. You have every right to express your anger, my dear. I was in the wrong."

It was only a mask. You knew it well. But seeing him with softened eyes and a tone so comforting, made you desperately wanting to run into his arms so he could wipe away your sorrows just like once upon a time. To live happily ever after.

Hector.

Dottore runs his fingers through his hairstrands in frustration and sighs, "However the Tsarista needed me to do something very important and I can't seem to fulfill her request no matter how hard I try. It angers me. If I don't finish this, there would be no place for us to stay."

"Hector..." you sniffled quietly. He looks so much like him right now.

"Can't you see I'm doing this for you?" He consoles, yet his weapons still remain, "I only intended to make you happy and there's nothing I won't do to achieve that. How about I show-"

"Enough."

Dottore froze upon your sudden command. He didn't sense a hint of subjugation and it seemed that you had perfect control of your emotions. How very inquisitive. Did you grow immune to the style of his voice? In such a short period of time? The facade he had on was now replaced with a growling animal-like expression. You looked at him dissapointedly. His Harbinger self returned. Hector was no more.

"Ha, you're the same as always. Even before the time you became a Harbinger. The same man that I fell in love with but it is me who will never be the same again," For a moment you averted your gaze as if trying hard to swallow your own words, "Remember when we first met at the balcony? That I told you my favourite books to read are fiction? I knew they weren't real but deep down, I wanted to believe in them anyways. And you know what? They did come true, to some degree..."

As the memories come flashing back, he defenselessly watches your expression contort from sadness to a calm contemplation and finally, enraged disgust, "But you only ever brought me pain and I'm sick of it!"

Swaying the torch to the side, Dottore flinches forward but he didn't dare to come close when your current state was unpredictable to him, "I JUST WANTED YOU TO LOVE ME," you wail, I just wanted to be loved, bringing a clawed hand against your forehead and trembling upon contact, "It's all that I ask for..."

Dottore narrowed his brows. Perhaps he may have gotten too far.

"But I know it's impossible. The world is a cruel place and there's no point in trying anymore. That is why I'm going to set us free."

"...What do you mean?"

You shut your eyes closed and tossed the flaming torch to the ground. A horrified expression takes over his features. It didn't take long for the fire to begin spreading amongst the room.

"NO!" Dottore yelled powerfully, he frantically darts his gaze at all directions as they continued to flicker and blend into his precious documents. You stood still and watched him grab the ones that were intact, savouring the most he could but they slip out of his arms every time he moved. Dottore glances behind him to see a rising cage of hellfire. Then he turns to you.

" 'Til death do us part!" you laughed maniacally.

The madman looked back with angry dismay, "You're out of your mind!"

Abandoning whatever he held in his hand, Dottore spins around towards the staircase. He covers his face with his sleeve and did whatever he could to prevent the fire from touching him. However, he accidentally stumbled on his footsteps and something fell off the heights, knocking him in the face. He grunts painfully.

"That will leave a scar," you smile while he clutches at his injury, "I can break you too.”

Just like how you broke me.

Knowing that you've managed to leave a mark of your existence on him in someway, you peacefully watched your lover wobble between the hell you created. But the hell you knew was not made of scorching heat and thundering flames. Hell was empty. Hell was a void. This feeling was far too gentle to be considered hell. If he can't return your love, then at least let these caging arms bask you in the warmth you’ve always desired.

Lifting your head, you looked towards the ceiling and closed your eyes.

Ah, this cannot be death.

[jiyuus]

My Girl

2am- brain go vroom- brain write whatever bullshit this is~

This also contains things from the Manga/s2 (I haven’t finished it) so if you don’t want to know what happens, then do not read- but it’s somewhat minor so- also for future reference an Engawa is the porch outside of traditional Japanese houses (that you mainly see in Asakusa)

(also @grumguchi said they like my Benimura stuff so I’m tagging them)

Fem reader

I hope you enjoy! and if you want to be tagged in my writings, let me know~

[Shinmon Benimura]

—————-

Living in Asakusa was... interesting, especially with what was happening at this very moment.

As you were walking down the market streets a basket in hand, getting the ingredients for tonights dinner especially because you had 2 guest come by for more training from Benimura, and a surprise guest who wanted to get stronger.

As you were walking along, picking out each ingredient, there were flashes of fire through the sky as the twins chased Tamaki, almost destroying the roofs as much as Benimura did. At that same time this was happening, a mule was dragging Shinra and Arthur through the town as Waka just watched with his hands inside his kimono. As you were looking at what was going on, and quickly put the pieces together, Waka spotted you and jumped off his place on a random engawa and walked towards you.

“What are you doing?”

“Shopping for dinner.” You simply answered, turning to a nearby vendor and picking up a random vegetable.

“But we have enough for dinner.”

“We had 3 guest, Beni.”

“You don’t have to cook for them.” You turned to look at him, a brow raised and your hands on your hips.

“Beni, first you have Arthur and Shinra doing the same thing Konro did to you, and second Tamaki is playing tag with Hina and Hika. If you don’t want them to die on your watch, then they need to eat.” You say, knowing very well what he was doing to Shinra and Arthur, while you knew that Hina and Hika would wear Tamaki down. Turning back to the stand, you wave Benimura off move on to the next stand, but instead of returning to see how Shinra and Arthur were holding up, he followed you around like a lost puppy. 

While walking, of course the people greeted you and Benimura, but you heard the screams of Shinra and Arthur, as well as occasionally saw Tamaki fall and get up before seeing Hina and Hika. Them greeting you before chasing Tamaki again and or them greeting you while chasing after the poor cat girl.

“I hope none of them need extreme medical attention, were too far from Company 6.”

“They’ll be fine.” Was all Benimura said walking off and jumping up to the roof where Hina and Hika stood, somewhat congratulating her on her accomplishment.

*

As Shinra and Arthur were attempting to kill Benimura in the yard, you were in the kitchen preparing some fruits as Tamaki- who was now in an Asakusa kimono as she clothes burned off when she was playing with Hina and Hika- sat on the back engawa.

“Are you sure they’re gonna be okay?” Tamaki asked as you slid the door open with your free hand, setting the covered plate next to Tamaki before sitting down yourself.

“Yeah, if there’s a risk of either one getting Tephorsis Beni would stop immediately.” 

“But how would he know?” 

You pursed your lips together. “He wouldn’t, but he wants them to go beyond their current limit. Konro did the same thing to Beni when he was their age.” You slightly uncovered some of the fruits and took a slice, offering some to Tamaki you gladly took some.

“Did you see when Konro did that to Captain Shinmon?” Tamaki asked before taking a bite of the fruit. You stopped eating and looking up at the orange and yellow sky, trying to remember if you were there or not.

“I think so, but to be completely honest, things like that happened- and still happen- a lot.” You smiled sheepishly as you looked at the girl. Benimura was the youngest among the neighborhood watch at the time, only being in his teens. Hearing random screaming and cheering was an every day occurrence while young kids and teens roamed the bustling streets of Asakusa.

“Despite what the empire might say, Asakusa is lively everyday, and no real harm is caused unless for good reason- even if there reason may not be the smartest.” You said nervously laughing as you stood up, a wave of heat washing towards you and Tamaki. “You might want to stand up.” You warned, knowing that either Shinra or Benimura were going to cause some fire to fly your way. 

Getting up Tamaki stood by the door where Konro and Hibana stepped through moments later after your warning.

“Good afternoon, Y/N.” Konro said while sitting in the same place Tamaki was sitting moments again. You greeted him back, while snuffing out some fire that happened to get a bit too close.

“So you’re a second gen.?” Hibana asked, looking over you with her flower like eyes. Simply nodding, you continue to snuff out any fire that got to close, being careful not to snuff out the boys fire in the process.

“So what brings you here, Captain Hibana?” You asked, taking your attention of the boys and still snuffing out any fire that got to close. Hibana only looked at you with surprise, being able to tell when I fire got to close- which even then was only about a foot away.

“How can you do that?”

“What? This? I’ve lived with and around Beni my entire life, and living in Asakusa being a second gen. was always helpful. You learn to get a feel for it after sometime.” Snuffing out each flame within a foot of the engawa with easy. You’ve had to put out a lot of unnecessary fires in Asakusa, almost every second gen. that worked with their power knew how to put one out without even looking at the fire.

Something that people from the Empire probably wouldn’t understand, and would instead call barbaric.

“It’s impressive to say the least.”

“Yep, that’s my girl.” Benimura said while coming up from behind you and hugging you. It wasn’t necessary rare for Benimura to do this, but it still caught you off guard each time.

“Stop doing that! Each time you nearly give me a heart attack.” You scold, turning around in his hold before looking over at the scene he was previously standing in. 

Shinra and Arthur laid almost dead like in the yard, their eyes turned to X’s and their faces in the dirt as Tamaki, Hina, and Hika poked at them.

“Are they dead?” Hina asked as Hika started to kick Shinra’s body.

“No, they’re just knocked out.” You said, unraveling yourself from Benimura’s hold. “Beni, help me bring them to a spare room. Konro, Tamaki can you start preparing for dinner?” You asked, hopping down from the engawa and walking towards Arthur as Benimura walked towards Shinra- shooing the brats as he picked Shinra up and over his shoulder. 

“Arthur would probably say something about how unknightly it is that he’s being carried by a woman.” Tamaki giggled as she went inside with Konro, you laughed along as Benimura helped you up on the engawa before going inside.

“Only my girl could carry a brat like a bag of potatoes and be perfectly fine.”

“I love the encouragement, Beni, but it’s weird- I’m only strong because you used to kick my ass when I trained with you and Konro.”

“How else was I supposed to spend time with you.” He asked, almost chucking Shinra into an empty room before you had to stop him and say that, that will only cause more problems for him later if he did that.