#this is hilarious cause im high

[owlapprentice]

Gideon Nav: a woman who, surrounded by the most repressed elderly nuns ever, independently invented being a masc lesbian

[daftmooncretin]

supernatural movie reboot but its a ghostfacers mockumentary about their attempt to make a “serious film” about sam and dean winchester. opens on ed and harry going “CUT!” and the camera pans to a guy that looks kind of like jared padalecki pulling off a party city wig. turns out the finale was actually part of the ghostfacer’s retelling of supernatural. Sam Dean and Castiel spend the entire movie chasing after ed and harry trying to stop the thing being made. (its a huge commercial success and they screen it at the destiel wedding)

[howtokillavampire]

im chugging up this hill with maybe an end in sight but it kind of just looks like more hill

[cannibalismyuri]

hey sara when you read rwrb did you also assume alex knew he was bi up until his sexuality crisis revealed the truth to you or was it just me who labored under delusions for the first 25 percent of the book, a whole quarter of the way through, before getting the shocking surprise that alex claremont-diaz, main character of nyt bestselling debut novel red white and royal blue, by author casey mcquiston, was NOT an out and proud bisexual man?

no actually, because im not delulu like u are . anyway .

[todayisafridaynight]

i'll probably be skipping stream today & tomorrow on account of my personal challenge to finish JE before you (<- absolutely not going to happen)

but while i'm here SHUT UP your headcanon is not icky :) though i can't really talk since i don't bring my own up very often either, and i honestly haven't even put that much thought into the logistics around it. anyway trans masato 🤝 trans wagi as personal coping mechanisms

DAWG you gotta finish it... idk how long youve had it but prob longer than me cmon now gamer i know you can do it ✊

trans masato is just funny because Like Everything I Do it just started as me joking about scenes from the game and then the ending happened and i was like Oh Lol It's Not A Joke Anymore I Think

I DONT USUALLY SUBSCRIBE TO TRANS HCS EITHER THAT WHY IT ICKY TO MEAJLWKJL but thank you. i promise to only mention it once every five months

[kavehayati]

Lord give me energy today eueueue

[catloverkid00]

found this gem today

[x-tanzanite-x]

how the fuck do i draw aatrox i have no idea what im doing here

[goosekid]

happy pride month to the friend of mine who completely forgot i was trans

[sangunary]

- Hush now crybaby.

Yandere batfam x ghost Reader!

IMP: Little scenarios that happened after your death. This is a little scenario from my previous story 'Hush now crybaby' :3.

It was around midnight, Tim was still awake as he was trying to ignore his guilt by over working himself.

*Tim who was drinking coffee for the sixth time after dinner*

GhostReader: "I already told you to not substitute water for coffee!"

Tim screaming at the top of his lungs because not only did his dead siblings suddenly appeared infront of him to scold him... Their voice was.. extremely unpleasant and he was high on coffee.

After Tims award winning scream the whole family was awaken from their slumber, hurriedly went downstairs just to see Tim in a fetal position on the ground.

Dick: "Oh God! Little bird what happened?!"

Tim: "It's not my fault coffee taste better!"

Jason: "This is likely the result of being high on coffee, meth is better"

Damian inside his room, a ouija board and your favourite teddy besides him.

Damian: "Listen carefully, You will get inside this Teddy and make us happy again"

GhostReader: "Why can't you just start a conversation like a NORMAL PERSON??"

Minutes later Damian was playfully bullying Reader to go inside the Bear.

Dick who was weeping on his bathroom floor for dramatic effect holding Reader's clothes in his arm's.

Dick: "Oh God, im a terrible older brother... I don't deserve to live... My baby im so sorry it should have been me instead of you..."

GhostReader: "I can't tell if he's mourning me or using this opportunity to rehearse for his acting career...."

Dick who was still mumbling and crying really hard leaving a very visible wet stain onto the dress.

GhostReader: "Even for you this is really pathetic and hard to watch... Im getting uncomfortable I must leave"

Jason introducing the whole family to the outlaws because they kept on insisting.

Jason: "And the my favourite rat... Reader"

Arthemis: "Aw, she's cute... Im so sorry for what happened. I wish I could see her"

Jason: "Oh don't worry... Cause she's right here"

Jason pointing at a random corner of the room with full confidence.

Arthemis whispering to Roy.

Arthemis: "I didn't knew mourning makes you delusional"

GhostReader: "Im actually over there Jay"

Roy: "Oh my fucking God! That was the BIGGEST rat I've ever seen in my life!"

During any celebration or event Reader love's to ruin the photo one way or another... She found it hilarious but it's really creepy.

Bruce: "Perfect... We'll hang it on the wal- We need to retake this"

Reader who ruined the picture by merging with Bruce in the picture.

Tim: "THAT was the sixth time! We're going to die if we have to keep smiling like this!"

GhostReader: "I thought I looked really good in the picture..."

[trpiaep19]

omg please somebody write this!!! I would do it myself but it wouldn't be so good. 🙏

Teen Wolf S5 becomes a million times more hilarious once you imagine that the Chimera Pack all still go to Beacon Hills alongside the McCall pack. They go through lessons together. I bet Theo forces the Chimeras to all sit with him at one table while the puppy pack sits sat at the polar opposite side of lunch hall. I bet they gang up against each other during Gym. I bet the classmates/teachers assume they’re just rival cliques

[svelish]

Billie and reader do the jelly bean challenge (bean boozled) on a live

˚₊۶ৎ˙⋆ (HELP. IM TOO LAZY)

The screen flickered to life as Billie adjusted her phone on the tripod, her blue eyes gleaming with excitement. She was sitting cross-legged on her bed, a half-empty bag of snacks beside her, and you were right next to her, crisscrossed in a hoodie that was definitely stolen from her closet.

"Alright, people," Billie grinned, dragging out the words as she waved the little **Bean Boozled** box at the camera. "Y’all are evil for suggesting this, but here we are—me and my beautiful victim," she nudged you with her shoulder, making you laugh.

"Victim? Excuse me? You’re the one who agreed to this," you shot back, pretending to be offended.

"Yeah, yeah," Billie rolled her eyes but kept smiling. "We’re doing the **Bean Boozled Challenge**, which means we could get delicious flavors... or absolute nightmares." She shook the box dramatically, and the jelly beans rattled inside.

The chat was already spamming "LMAOOO", "GOOD LUCK", and "BILLIE’S GONNA DIE FIRST."

Billie chuckled, reading some of the comments. "Y’all got no faith in me. What if I have elite taste buds and actually enjoy the nasty ones?"

"You literally gagged eating a slightly overripe banana yesterday," you reminded her.

"Shut up," she muttered, making a face as she ripped open the box. "Alright, first spin!"

She flicked the tiny spinner in the box, and it landed on Peach or Barf.

"OH HELL NO," Billie yelled, throwing her head back while the chat went wild.

"You first," you smirked, grabbing one of the orange-speckled jelly beans and handing it to her.

"Bro, if this is barf, I’m suing," she muttered before tossing it into her mouth. For a second, she chewed. Then her eyes went wide. Pure horror.

"OH MY GOD—" She shot up from the bed so fast she nearly knocked the tripod over. "NOPE. NOPE. NOPE." She ran off-screen, leaving you wheezing with laughter as the comments exploded.

"LMFAOOOOOO"

"BILLIE COME BACKKKK"

"HER SOUL LEFT HER BODY"

After a few moments of dramatic coughing and Billie chugging her drink, she flopped back down, shaking her head. "That was actual vomit. Who invented this? Satan??"

"Your turn," she grumbled, handing you the box.

You spun the wheel, and it landed on Toasted Marshmallow or Stink Bug.

You popped the jelly bean into your mouth, chewing slowly while Billie watched with anticipation.

"…I think I got marshmallow."

The chat immediately went: "BOOOOOO", "RIGGED!!", "MAKE THEM EAT ANOTHER ONE".

"No way, try another," Billie insisted, snatching another identical jelly bean and shoving it into your hand.

Sighing, you ate it—and instantly regretted it.

Your face twisted, and Billie screamed with laughter, falling over onto your lap. "YOOOO THAT'S SO GROSS!!" she wheezed.

You grabbed her hoodie sleeve, shaking her dramatically. "IT TASTES LIKE AN ACTUAL DEAD BUG."

She was dying at this point, her laugh echoing through the room as the chat spammed crying emojis. "Next round," Billie wiped tears from her eyes, barely keeping it together. "This is the best thing ever."

The game continued, with Billie gagging over Rotten Egg, you nearly throwing up from Canned Dog Food, and both of you high-fiving when you actually got good flavors.

By the end, Billie was curled up on your lap, groaning. "I think I need a detox, man. Like, my taste buds are traumatized."

You wrapped your arms around her. "We survived, though."

"Barely." She looked at the camera, pouting. "Chat, y’all better appreciate this ‘cause I’m never doing it again."

"WE NEED PART 2"

"DO IT WITH FINNEAS NEXT"

"THIS WAS HILARIOUS PLS"

Billie groaned, closing her eyes. "Nope. I’m retiring from jelly beans forever."

And with that, she dramatically ended the livestream.

[sinning-23]

Baby Mama (OPLA HEADCANNONS)

In honor of mothers day, here some little headcannons I cooked up for our faves! Hope yall enjoy lol

Luffy

-This mf was like...actually capable of conceiving a child lmao.

-There was really no like initial shock, it was more like overwhelming joy? There was honestly no need to reveal it to the rest of the crew since the second you told him he shouted it loud ad fucing possible.

-"Luffy, uhhh I think im pregnant." You huff, hand over your forehead as you try to figure out the next course of action.

"YOURE PREGNANT?! THATS GREAT!"

"Y/N IS WHAT?" Nami gasps, eyes flitting form you to Luffy, then to your belly.

"YOU’RE PREGNANT?! HOW?" Usopp questions, only to have Sanji interrupt,

"Well Usopp, when two people love eachother- or well... lets talk about he birds and the bee-"

"I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS DICKHEAD-"

-Luffy is a.....he's a great dad, just a little uhhhh...wild?

-You have to explain tho him that this baby cannot fucking eat solid food.

-He's learning and that’s all that matters. He knows when to get serious about his kid and when its okay to be a lil silly.

-Oh and be prepared for when your kid hits about 6-7 cause they're so much like their father its crazy-

Zoro

-He's thuroughly convinced its your fault because he knows for a fact he has impeccable pull out.

-"That’s not mine." He hums, pointing at the newborn with a raise brow.

The fucking liar this baby is his spitting image. Like your genes didn't evens stand a chance. The baby even fucking mean mugs like he does, that lil stoic face.

-"This isn’t yours?" You question, holding the baby up side by side with his obvious father.

"Nope"

-Once he’s like fully processed and accepted the fact that your pussy just so happened to weaken his pull out game, he will claim the child and make sure he's being helpful with both you and the infant.

-It was actually pretty fucking hilarious to see the baby try and latch to his nipple cause his tits are fucking massive. Heeee didn’t think it was that funny tho💀

-Just let the kid grow up a little bit and they’re all about their father, and even though he may not show it all the time, he adores his baby. And they will always be a baby in his eyes. And he things you’re a phenomenal mother even though it was sort of a surprise.

Nami

-You had come aboaded with a toddler. And sure enough they latched to Nami in a heartbeat.

-“AHT! No, you stay with me and let them work.” You reprimand, giving a quick apology to the tangarine haired girl.

“Oh no they’re okay. Hey, you wanna see something cool?” He hum, taking the 2 year old by the hand before you can protest.

-Auntie Nami accidentally turned to ‘mamami’ (Mama Nami) andddd it just stuck.

-one night the three of you had fall asleep in Nami’squarter and she had woke up and just, admires you both. She couldn’t help the way her chest squeezed when she thought about raising this child with you or how much she loved being a part of your lives.

Your eyes flutter open and you give her a knowing look, her face already tinted pink.

“Nami,” you begin, your free hand pushing hair behind her ear as she hold your wrist, placing a kiss there.

“Thank you, love you.” You hum, letting yourself fall back asleep.

-yeah she’s stuck with you two for life

-unironically calls you her baby mama

Usopp

-is literally the best fuckinf dad. Literally ever.

-he wants to make sure he’s an active part of your child’s life, being sure to keep you both in good health and high spirits.

-when you broke the news he was terrified. How good of a father could he be? He just don’t want to let you down.

-“W-What if our kid hates me?” He voices one night, hands holding your tummy.

“I doubt that’ll happen. You’ll be okay Uso.”

-Guess having impeccable aim runs in the family because by time your child is year they’re already throwing projectiles with phenomenal accuracy.

-you can’t tell me he doesn’t make most of your babies toys.

-he loves seeing you just have little moments with your baby, he definetly cried when they took their first steps.

-keeps a picture of the three of you tucked away

-hints at wanting another one from time to time

Sanji

-fainted when you told him.

-honestly he’s a little shocked. He didn’t really put ‘father’ on his goal list but here yall are lol

-he’s very supported and knows that morning sickness is a bitchhhh

-“how’re my girls…or boy” he greets, pressing a kiss to your tummy then to your lips.

-much to his surprise, he was right on both parts because you’re having twins! Yayyyyy

-you cuss him out when your in labor.

-“SANJI YOU ASSHOLE! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHY DID I FALL FOR YOUR DELICIOUS FOOD YOU FUCK!”

-he’s not allowed in the delivery room lmao he fainted again when the nurse asked if he’d like to see what was goin on

-after 6 horrendous hours, your baby boy and girl are finally born and he’s too delighted.

-“good job baby.” He praises, peppering your tired face with kisses.

-when the kids are older he’s always falling victim to their puppy eyes and begging when they ask for dessert before dinner

-“please dad! We won’t tell mom! Pleaseeee!”

-he loves being with you and loves that he’s been blasted with a wonderful wife and two beautiful children

Shanks

-oh the minute he found out he was stunned! He was sure he already had an illegitimate baby somewhere but for one of the baby mamas to actually let him know was, a bit of a surprised?

-and that’s it. He doesn’t really go out of his way to go visit and see if it’s true. He goes on about his business truely.

-one day, he comes across a lady at a bar, her bright red hair thrown up and she waits tables, her gaze almost immediately locking on his as she frowns

-….what the fuck she looks just like him.

-she goes to a couple other of the waiters/waitresses and the minute they catch his gaze they’re nodding profusely at her.

-it took, shit you not. 3 hours for them to get a table and that was only because her boss came in and MADE her seat the crew.

-“what do you want.” She huffs, her notepad clenched so tight it crumples the paper.

Shanks only further studies the girl, her rage ever present as she slams the notepad down.

“I SAID, What. Do. You. Want. Quickly, or I’m leaving you here to wait 3 more hours. Spit it the fuck out you old bastard.” She spits, leaving him somewhat shocked.

-“How about the-“

-“we’re all out. Deadbeat.” She finishes, dropping her apron and notepad, then walking out.

Safe to say that wasn’t the reaction he was expecting.

-when he finds where you guys live and YOU answer the door thank god, he firstly apologizes (which you don’t accept right away) and explains how he already met your daughter.

Speak of the devil she had just rounded the corner asking who it was.

“Don’t let this fucker the house mom, please.” She begs, gaze flittering form you to her sperm donor.

-yeahhhhhh this is why he hardly ever makes the effort to see his unsuspecting kids. Doesn’t quite pan out how he thinks.

Mihawk

- you’re not the only one at all. He’s got plenty fucking kids running around and you’re fully aware of that, having run into more than one child that looks just mf like him.

-he won’t deny any of them, but he doesn’t feel like he owes them anything either? It’s weird and you usually feel bad that he picked you and your child when he could very well have done that for the rest of them.

-he often assures you that we’re were one night stand situations he hardly remembers after being so damn drunk.

-he’s a good dad though and a great husband. He makes sure you’re taken care of even is he’s gone a lot of the time. When you told him you were having a baby he didn’t leave from your side.

-when the baby is born he’s a bit suprised they don’t look like him but as soon as they open their eyes he’s so mf smug. Those eyes are a dead giveaways that’s his baby.

-don’t let that baby ask for something be used Mihawk will without a doubt give it to them no matter what.

-“Honey I-“

-there standing in front of the fridge, in laminated with its light are your husband and child. Their eyes wide like an owls, staring directly into your soul.

-“We wanted ice cream.”

Buggy

-he loves his babies. Hands down loves his fucking babies. Plural because of course you were blessed/cursed with triplets.

-two boys, one sweet girl, and not one of them look like their daddy, besides that faint tint of blue in their hair.

-and he’s maddddd, well. not at you but at his genes.

-“honey wait, they might just grow into it?” You encourage, trying not to laugh as he tried to figure out why his kids don’t look like him.

-thank god you were right because by time they were all 4/5 that blue had brightened and the little red glow of their noses were ever present.

-he’s so attentive with you, taking care of the three of them when you need rest or just in general cause how gorgeous wife needs rest after making three gorgeous babies

-freaks his babies out when he takes his head off

-then they won’t leave him the fuck alone about it and will often take pieces of him while he chases them around for them back.

-his babies get their own spot on the show and it fucking adorable watching toddlers dance to circus music with face paint they insisted they do themselves

-best dad buggy 100%

[pomidaea]

Hello !! I’ve been scrolling thru ur ghoul posts for a minute and I shrimply must say that your artstyle is phenomenal to say the least. I WILL be adopting your headcanons into my own personal ghospel (ghost gospel) (this is a threat)

Anyway I was wondering if u had any thoughts on what the ghouls do around the ministry? Im personally making a ghoul oc currently who was summoned solely to drive the tour bus and I just love the amount of thought you’ve put into your ghoul designs.

And as a final request, do u have any recent Special Ghoul art? :3

Hello!! Ah yes another person adopting my headcanons, join me in my delusions ehehe

Aside from the ones that are part of the band, the ghouls take on the usual tasks the siblings of sin have around the ministry. They certainly aren't allowed to have positions of high authority but are given tasks related to maintenance, cooking, church services, etc.

Adding to that, I do think that the tasks given to them are mundane. Things that have a long boring process that can drain you, filling out paperwork, organizing files, all that stuff. In the Escape the Ministry game, there was a note stating that the ghouls do taxes which is hilarious cause imagine you're a ghoul that can make thousands of fans scream but when you get back home from tour you're stuck doing taxes. They were brought out of hell only to be placed in another administrative hell. They find a way around the boring stuff by requesting things that can probably entertain them.

I do have some Special ghoul art but it's mostly me just figuring out how to draw him unmasked. I have two versions, the first one was leaning towards an actual demon with authority, a ghoul who happens to know everything and suspiciously has a skull pattern on his face like the papas before him with a sulfer mark on his forehead. The other version was leaning towards the "what makes him special?" prompt with me deciding what if the guy was one of the last humans that was turned into a ghoul before the ministry started summoning actual demons instead. I can't decide what I want to use cause I'm really indecisive

[mwahbabe]

feed us more loser!chloe IM STARVING

☆ porn star ☆

pairing: chloe price x fem reader

warnings! : smut, drug use(r!&c!) masturbation, voyeurism (r!)exhibitionism(c!), squirting, sub! chloe, dom! reader, loser! chloe, confident! reader, you squirt on chloe’s face because you’re a bad bitch like that:P

a/n: need that. also this is set in 2013 bc why the hell not.

it was one of your usual date nights with your girlfriend, only this time you two had decided to chill down and not go out and cause havic. at least for now.

both of you were cuddled up in her bed watching one of her dvds, after showering together, chloe claiming it saved water. not because she wanted to see your pretty body all soapy and wet nooooot at all. the show that was playing was some weird 80s show with bad acting, though it was funny and entertaining to the two of you in your hazy minds.

chloes arms were wrapped around you, her chin resting on the top of your head as she made occasional snarky comments about the show you two were watching.

"can you believe this bullshit?" she said with a scoff, rolling her eyes at a particularly ridiculous plotline. “so bad.” you agreed as you sipped your gatorade she had bought you through a straw. she chuckled, shaking her head in agreement. “c’mon that’s clearly a green screen” she quipped, her eyes still glued to the screen.

as she spoke, her hand idly traced lazy circles across your bare skin, the contact casual but affectionate. she snuggled closer to you, her body fitting against yours effortlessly. you gave a small laugh at her commentary. “the 80s were a weird time.” she nodded in agreement again, a smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “you said it. so many weird fashion choices, even weirder music.”

she idly began to twirl a lock of your hair around her finger as she continued to watch the show. “not to mention the terrible special effects.” you nodded slowly as you watched before you got an idea in your little brain.

“oh my god. we need to watch these high.” you piped up. chloes eyebrow raised at your suggestion, a wide grin spreading across her face. “now that’s a good idea,” she said, her voice tinged with excitement.

she reached for the remote and hit pause on the show, turning to look at you with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “i’ll roll us a joint while you pick out something else to watch.” you half groaned dramatically as you now had to get up out of your cozy cocoon with her. “can you use those mango flavoured papers?” you asked as you went into her messy disarray of dvds by the tv. one of your favourite flavours of course.

“yeah yeah princess. .” she gave a playful jab as she reached down on the floor next to her side to grab yours and her stash. while you were sifting through her collection, she found your mango papers with the green gold and her trusty grinder.

after grinding the weed and rolling a joint, she focused her attention back on you.

“found anything babe?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.

“didn’t expect you to have this.” you giggled holding up ‘keeping up with the kardashions season one and two’

her eyebrows shot up in surprise as she saw what you were holding, followed by a loud snort of laughter. “I forgot I even owned those!” she exclaimed, shaking her head in disbelief. “damn, I can’t believe you want to watch that garbage.”

despite her words, her tone was amused and she was clearly not against watching it with you. you gave her a scoff as you opened the case “then why did you buy it?!”She chuckled again, looking a little sheepish as she fumbled for a response. “i don’t know, i think i was just really bored one day and wanted something to mock.”

she shifted a bit closer to you, the joint hanging loosely from her lips as she spoke. “but hey, if you want to watch it, I’m down. it’ll be hilarious when we’re stoned.” “hells yeah it will babe” you said as you wiped the dvd off on your shirt. chloe chuckled in agreement, taking a quick hit from the joint before passing it to you. “okay then, let’s do this.”

she took the dvd from your hands and put it in the player, then settled back against the pillows next to you. “ready to watch a bunch of rich assholes be ridiculous?” she smirked. “absolutely.” with the dvd playing and the joint being passed back and forth between you, the room began to fill with a hazy cloud of smoke.

chloe chuckled as the show began, rolling her eyes at the antics on the screen. “jesus christ, these people have no shame.” she commented, shaking her head. you took a deep inhale and then exhaled coughing a bit. “have you seen kim’s sex tape?” she snickered at your question, taking the joint to take a hit herself. “who hasn’t at this point?” she retorted with a smirk, shaking her head in disbelief.

“but yeah, it’s something I wish I could un-see, to be honest.” “eh.. it was pretty tame.” you shrugged. “i definitely noticed that molly jaw twitch kim had.” you chuckled. “tame or not, it was still cringey as hell.” she chuckled. “and yeah, I remember that too. chick was definitely high off something.”

she passed the joint back to you, her gaze returning to the tv where kim and her sisters were arguing about something or other. “when is straight porn not cringey?” you took the joint back and inhaled “good point.” she conceded with a smirk, watching as you took a hit. “i never understood the appeal of it, to be honest. give me a girl on girl scene any day over that crap.” you gave her a quick nod of agreement “oh yeah. or just solo content. it’s way better.” you shrugged. she chuckled, nodding her agreement as she reached forward to grab the tv remote and turn up the volume. “damn right. Nothing better than watching a girl get herself off.

“yeah?” you turn to look at her, a curious look on your face.

her gaze flicked over to you, a sly smirk on her face as she noticed the slight change in your tone. her eyes visibly switched as she replied, you had her attention now. her voice lowering just a fraction.

“yeah."

“is that a request?” you passed her back the joint. a low, rumbling chuckle left her lips as she took the joint from you and took another hit. "depends." she said, her tone deliberately baiting.

"are you offering?"

your eyes glanced down over her before coming back to her face. “for you? always.” you were always eager to please her yes, but you also liked to please you. something you and chloe had in common. her smirk grew even wider at your response, her blue eyes darkened with a mixture of lust and affection.

"good answer." she said, her voice a low, silky murmur. She passed the joint back to you, her other hand already straying to run over your thigh, squeezing it gently.

"prove it hotstuff."

“you’re on babe.” you playfully rolled your eyes grinning and sat up to remove what little clothes you had on and sat back with your thighs spread as the show played in the background. your pretty brown/pink pussy already slick just from being around her, plus the weed. her gaze slowly raked up and down the newly exposed flesh, her green eyes darkening further as they took in every inch of you. she bit her lip, clearly appreciating every curve of your body.

she moved even closer to you, her hands roaming freely over your skin as she watched you hungrily. "jesus babe… you’re a work of fucking art. could look at you all day." she murmured, her voice thick with desire. “i know.” you teased as you gently drew circles on your swollen clit and just felt yourself up gathering the wetness. “fuck.. look at that.” you laughed as you spread your middle and index finger seeing just how wet you were. her eyes darkened even further at the sight of you playing with yourself, her breaths coming just a little more ragged than before. “you’re killing me y/n.”

“good.” you giggled as you kept moving your fingers slowly. up, down, around circling. letting out little sounds here and there she couldn't tear her eyes away from watching you touch yourself, her breaths coming out in little pants as her own arousal grew.

"you can't just make those noises and expect me not to kiss you stupid." she breathed, leaning over to capture your lips in a hungry, messy kiss. you giggled against her lips and gave the same effort into the kiss before focusing back on yourself. chloe tried to follow you down as you refocused on yourself, a small whine leaving her lips as she nipped at your neck in search of more kisses.

"you’re so damn hot." she muttered, her hands still roaming over your body, lingering at various spots as if she couldn't decide where she wanted to touch most. “thankyou you have good taste.” you said before inhaling sharply as you put one, then two fingers in "damn right." she agreed, her eyes fixed on the action between your legs. she shifted closer again, her hand slipping along the inside of your thigh, making a small needy sound as she watched.

“want some help there, princess?" she murmured, her tone suggestive.

nuh uh. you said you wanna watch me get myself off.” i teased.

hearing your girlfriends huff you rolled your eyes. she was so greedy. so cute. “here.” you pulled your fingers out putting them to her mouth offering. her eyes darkened even further, a small shiver running through her at your words and the sight of your fingers coming to her mouth.

“you’re a goddamn tease, you know that?" she grumbled.

without further prompting, she parted her lips, wrapping them around your fingers with a little moan as she began to suck on them. “you wanted this. no take backsies.” you chuckled and once she got your fingers wet you took them out and put them back in your cunt. she let out a small whine of frustration as you took your fingers back from her mouth, her eyes following them as they returned to your cunt.

she watched you silently, her breathing coming in soft, ragged pants that told you how turned on she was.

“god damn, you're really just going for it, huh?" she said with an exhale of laughter, shifting a little closer to you once again."don’t think I'm gonna be able to keep myself from touching you for too long babe."

you grinned at her letting out another giggle. “well too bad.”

she mock-scowled at you, feigning annoyance with a small pout of her lips before giving up the act with a low rumble of a chuckle.

"you’re mean, you know that babe?" she muttered, shifting ever closer to you again. “uh huh.” chloe loved saying that when you didn’t give her what she wanted, when you were such a tease. you’re killing her. you let out a whimper as you moved your fingers inside you. your pretty pussy happily taking your own fingers. chloe took a shuddering breath as she continued to watch you, her hands now clenched into tight fists as she fought to keep herself from just pouncing on you.

"fuckin hell, you're like unreal." she swore softly, her blue puppy eyes pouty with need.

“please let me touch you." she tried again.

“no.” you playfully nudged her away with your knee. you were having so much fun. her expression twisted into one of mock-anguish, a small whine escaping her lips. "you’re goddamn cruel." she said, her voice filled with fake hurt. "you’re mean and cruel and I don't know why I put up with you."

“you love me- ah!” you cut your own self off as you found that spot.” “yeah yeah.” she grumbled, her tone sulky. she couldn’t help her sound at your little moan though, her hands still fisted tightly at her sides to keep from touching you.

"you're making my life so damn difficult right now, you know that hotstuff?"

“you’re the one who wanted this.” you took your fingers out holding them out to her. she huffed in feigned annoyance, but the way her eyes lit up and she licked her lips as you offered your fingers to her betrayed just how turned on she was.

she leaned forward, taking your fingers into her mouth once again, her tongue swirling around them to lick up your juices as if she was starving for it. “good girl.” you giggled. knowing what those two words did to her. both of you having raging praise kinks. she shot you a mock-scowl of annoyance at the tone of your voice, but her reaction was betrayed by the way a little shiver ran through her at your words.

she took your fingers from her mouth, releasing them with a lewd pop before mumbling under her breath.

"fuck you.”

“yeah you’re mad you’re not doing that right now.” you managed to be smug even as you were literally making yourself tremble right now. you loved chloe being your audience and fucking with her was fun.

"yeah. damn right i am." she conceded with a huff, leaning back against the pillows for a moment and folding her arms sullenly like a pouting child.

however, it didn’t take long for her expression to soften as she watched you again, the desire once more taking over, your moans getting more frequent, your breathing heavy as you moved your fingers faster, now with a mission. it was clear that watching you was affecting chloe a lot. her breaths came heavier than before, her hands clenching and unclenching. she bit her lip, her eyes pouty with need as she moved even closer to you again, nearly closing the distance.

"please.” she murmured, her voice a desperate plea. "let me touch you. i need to fuckin touch you."

you looked at her through your dazed eyes. “fine babe.” you decided to give her something and guided her hand to your tits with your free hand. your brown/pink nipples hardened and begging for some love. her breathing hitched as her hand met the soft flesh of your chest, her long, slender fingers immediately beginning to work their magic on your tits. "god, you're perfect." she breathed, her voice little more than a ragged whisper as she began to caress and squeeze your flesh. you whimpered at the praise, your pussy clenching around your fingers at both of the sensations combined.

chloe watched you keenly as she played with you. pinching your nipples between her fingers, drawing more pretty sounds from you, her gaze hungry and intense. she knew exactly what she was doing, her hands and fingers touching and caressing in all the right ways, as if she knew the map of your body better than anyone. “atta girl.” you kept moaning until you made a high pitched sound before you sat up suddenly “chloe.. i wanna cum on your face.” her eyes widened at your words, her breath catching in her throat as they sank in. Her face lit up in a mixture of surprise, lust, and eagerness as she nodded at your request.

"yeah, yeah, yes, please."

you wasted no time when she laid down and crawled over and put one leg over her neck so i was up on my knees with her face right under me hovering. you picked up where i left off continuing to fuck my own cunt above her. “fuckk yes.”She let out a little moan of excitement as you moved into the new position, her hands already coming to your hips to encourage you further. chloe looked up at you, her pupils dilated and gaze submissive.

"god, you're so pretty." she murmured, her voice low and husky. "hurry up and give it to me."

“shuttup and take it.”

you grinned as you rubbed your clit harder, “oh god.. oh fuck..” she looked as if she’d try to mutter a reply, perhaps to call you an asshole, but words seemed to die in her throat. Instead, she just nodded, her words coming in an exhale of anticipation.

"mm-hm."

her hands gave your hips an encouraging squeeze as she eagerly waited for you to keep going. your breathing came in short gasps as i was close, if chloe wasn’t helping me stay up img knees would be trembling. “mmmh… yeah. gonna cum all over your pretty face chlo.. you want that?” you said through gritted teeth. breaths grew faster and more ragged in anticipation as she listened to you speak, her eyes fixed on you with an intensity that was almost unnerving.

“yeah, yeah. I fu- i need it. c’mon babe.. give it to me.” her words were pleading, desperate. she was so pathetic for you. just how up liked her. "please, i’ve been so damn good for you, just give me this one thing."

“yeah. uh-huh.. ohh shit chloe-” you whined as you rubbed your clit harder as you kept myself right above her mouth. “fucking-” you cried out as that heavenly feeling took over you and chloe got a shower of you. your fluids squirting all over her mouth and face and some down her chin and neck as you kept rubbing your clit riding that high you had been craving. your moans filling the room. she let out a small gasp as your juices spraying all on her face, her eyes fluttering shut in pleasure at the sensation. her hands tightened on your hips, holding you in place as she eagerly continued to drink you in, her tongue darting out to lick up as much of you as she could,

“christ.. yeah..” chloe was in heaven right now. you had her wrapped around your finger and you knew it. you slowly rode it out, once you were truly done and spent you caught your breath before looking down at her. she looked completely ruined underneath you, her face glistening with your juices, her eyes half-lidded and hazy with pleasure as her breathing came heavy. her grip on your hips loosened, and a small shudder ran through her body. "fuck..." she gasped, her voice ragged and wrecked. "you’re fucking insane..” her tongue darted out to lick at her lips, as if to savor every bit of you that she could, before she spoke again, her voice still ragged, still desperate. “please get down here,” she gasped, her words more of a plea than a demand. “i need to kiss you. i need to hold you. now.” you let out a breathless chuckle. how could you deny her that? “you got it chlo.” you backed up off her face and laid down on top of her instead.

your lips collided, the taste of your cum all over her mouth. her arms immediately wrapped around you as you landed on top of her, her hands desperate as they pulled you close, as if she was afraid you would disappear if she didn't hold onto you tightly enough.

her lips were warm and soft against yours, her kiss insistent and hungry as her tongue slipped against your own, tasting every part of you. once the kiss slowly subsided, she pulled back just enough to speak, but she kept you close, her arms still wrapped firmly around you. "i think…" she said, her voice still breathless and slightly rough, "i think that was the first time I’ve actually been that close to death. just by how insanely good it felt." you smiled at her. “yeah?” you ran your fingers through her blue hair, she hummed, closing her eyes for a moment to relish the feel of your fingers in her hair, her expression almost like a cat being petted. “of course.” she agreed laughing. “you nearly killed me.”

she gave a mock pout, though the effect was completely ruined by the pleased, almost smug expression on her face. “mm. sorry i almost drowned you.” you joked. “that was so good..” you sighed. chloe chuckled, opening her eyes again to look at you with an affectionate smile, her hand coming up to brush a few strands of hair away from your face. “hella worth it.” she said with mock-sincerity. “what a way to go, y’know?”“jeez.” you sat up still grinning and let her sit up too. she followed you, sitting up and letting you get comfortable. She was still a mess, her face and hair completely disheveled and glistening with you but she didn’t seem to care.

chloe took a moment to admire you, her eyes taking in your bare chest, roaming over exposed skin. she was completely transfixed. “here babe.” you gave her a stray towel under the pillow to wipe her neck and chin. her gaze broke from yours for a moment when you handed her the towel, taking it gratefully and using it to dab and clean her neck and chin.

she mumbled a soft ‘thanks’ under her breath, seemingly too dazed to speak much. She looked like she still needed a moment to come down from her high. “you good?” she gave a somewhat shaky nod, using the towel to wipe her face down and neck once more before tossing it aside carelessly. "yeah, yeah. just.. wow." her eyes roamed over your body again. "you looked so damn good up there, i think i almost forgot how to breathe for a minute." “aw. thanks babe.” you smiled at her shrugging, as if you didn’t just blow her mind “no, thank you.” she replied, her voice still breathless full of amusement and awe.

“you’re welcome.” she shifted closer to you again, her hand coming up to gently cup your cheek as her eyes roamed over you, almost as if she was cataloguing every detail and feature of your body. the kardashians menu screen kept replaying as you two had damn sure forgot about it. who knew you bringing up kim’s sex tape lead to you squirting in chloe’s mouth? chloes eyes flicked over to the tv screen as the kardashions credits looped again, a little flicker of irritation running across her face at the reminder of the existence of those rich, self-obsessed nobodies. "ugh. can’t believe this is the crap i’ve been letting you watch." she muttered under her breath, before quickly shaking her head and returning her gaze to you. “whatever.” you giggled. “you want me to roll up again?” “you read my mind hotstuff.” she joked, looking very pleased.

“you deserve it.” you gave her a kiss before rolling over to put your clothes back on. chloe staring at you the entire time. “damn right i do.” both of you spent the rest of the night smoking another blunt, watching snobby reality tv talking about whatever bullshit came to your faded minds, munching out and falling asleep together in each others arms at 4am. these kind of date nights were definitely your favourite.

[eeepybee]

I’m reading the 90s Young Justice for the first time and oh my goodness this is comedy gold lemme share some highlights. (Screenshots are from issues 1-2 of YJ, don’t think theres any spoilers cause theres barely a plot yet)

Bart immediately obtaining spray paint and redecorating, causing Red Tornado to wake up from sleep mode because they were so annoying:

Nina Dowd (BERNARDS MOM? hasnt been confirmed but itd be hilarious) walking into an alien thing and becoming Mighty Endowed:

Some dumb tourists recreating the titanic?

Nuns in a station wagon loaded with high explosives? (They never explained this im so confused tim explain pls???)

Kon sassing Red Tornado, who just thinks these idiots probably need adult supervision:

Tim and Rip Roar forcing Supercycle to choose between them like some sort of lost puppy (they were literally just fighting each other)

This comic run is insane I love the nonsense going on so far. I think my favourite is nuns in a station wagon of explosives because w h a t ?