#this is gonna spook some people

[beardedmrbean]

The hard-Right Alternative for Germany party (AfD) is on course to become the country’s second-largest party in key regional elections that spell disaster for Olaf Scholz’s ruling coalition.

Exit polls indicated the AfD had burst out of its post-industrial strongholds in eastern Germany to notch up its best-ever result in the western states of Hesse and Bavaria. If the result holds in Hesse, where the financial capital Frankfurt is located, it would cement the party as the state’s official opposition, ahead of all of the parties in Chancellor Scholz’s unpopular “traffic-light” coalition of Social Democrats (SPD), Greens and pro-business Free Democrats (FDP).

Voters have been put off by repeated public squabbling, notably over a controversial plan to replace fossil-fuel heating systems with green alternatives. They have also opted for Right-leaning parties as immigration has risen up the agenda, with over three fifths of Bavarians declaring themselves worried that too many people are moving to Germany, or by rising criminality.

Government parties have been under pressure to reform the EU’s asylum laws and reduce the number of non-EU migrants and refugees entering the country, which has risen dramatically in recent years.

In both states the conservative block of Angela Merkel, the former chancellor, looked likely to win by a large margin, with its vote share in Hesse, a wealthy central state, predicted to increase 8 per cent under Boris Rhein, the moderate Christian Democrat (CDU) state premier.

In Bavaria, the conservative Christian Social Union (CSU), which has ruled in Bavaria since 1957, was likely to match 2018’s record-low result of 36 per cent.

In the run-up to Bavaria’s election, much attention was paid to Hubert Aiwanger, the deputy premier, who has been accused of distributing an anti-Semitic leaflet and making illegal Hitler salutes as a schoolboy. Aiwanger disputed the allegations and painted them as a Left-wing witch-hunt against the German people.

He appears to have been rewarded at the polls as his eccentric Free Voters party won a record number of seats, enough to continue in the so-called Bavaria coalition alongside the CSU.

It is a particularly embarrassing result for Chancellor Scholz’s socialist SPD, which ran in Hessen with Nancy Faeser, the federal interior minister as its top candidate. She had declared her wish to take over from Rhein as state premier after 24 years of CDU-led

government, but may be beaten into fourth place behind the conservatives, AfD and Greens.

The SPD is likely to finish a distant fifth in Bavaria.

The centre-Right FDP may be expelled from the Bavarian parliament after failing to win 5 per cent of the vote and will also be looking nervously at results in Hesse. Its previous election flops have fuelled tensions in the government as the pro-business party has attempted to build its profile by blocking reforms proposed by the Greens.

[creativitycache]

Tumblr still reblogging the original lore.fm thread instead of the updated “They shut down” version

[rococospade]

reminder that people can and do lie on the internet and you are really not required to tell people your age. i would in fact encourage you not to tell people your age, especially on this website

[hms-no-fun]

Whats your stance on A.I.?

imagine if it was 1979 and you asked me this question. "i think artificial intelligence would be fascinating as a philosophical exercise, but we must heed the warnings of science-fictionists like Isaac Asimov and Arthur C Clarke lest we find ourselves at the wrong end of our own invented vengeful god." remember how fun it used to be to talk about AI even just ten years ago? ahhhh skynet! ahhhhh replicants! ahhhhhhhmmmfffmfmf [<-has no mouth and must scream]!

like everything silicon valley touches, they sucked all the fun out of it. and i mean retroactively, too. because the thing about "AI" as it exists right now --i'm sure you know this-- is that there's zero intelligence involved. the product of every prompt is a statistical average based on data made by other people before "AI" "existed." it doesn't know what it's doing or why, and has no ability to understand when it is lying, because at the end of the day it is just a really complicated math problem. but people are so easily fooled and spooked by it at a glance because, well, for one thing the tech press is mostly made up of sycophantic stenographers biding their time with iphone reviews until they can get a consulting gig at Apple. these jokers would write 500 breathless thinkpieces about how canned air is the future of living if the cans had embedded microchips that tracked your breathing habits and had any kind of VC backing. they've done SUCH a wretched job educating The Consumer about what this technology is, what it actually does, and how it really works, because that's literally the only way this technology could reach the heights of obscene economic over-valuation it has: lying.

but that's old news. what's really been floating through my head these days is how half a century of AI-based science fiction has set us up to completely abandon our skepticism at the first sign of plausible "AI-ness". because, you see, in movies, when someone goes "AHHH THE AI IS GONNA KILL US" everyone else goes "hahaha that's so silly, we put a line in the code telling them not to do that" and then they all DIE because they weren't LISTENING, and i'll be damned if i go out like THAT! all the movies are about how cool and convenient AI would be *except* for the part where it would surely come alive and want to kill us. so a bunch of tech CEOs call their bullshit algorithms "AI" to fluff up their investors and get the tech journos buzzing, and we're at an age of such rapid technological advancement (on the surface, anyway) that like, well, what the hell do i know, maybe AGI is possible, i mean 35 years ago we were all still using typewriters for the most part and now you can dictate your words into a phone and it'll transcribe them automatically! yeah, i'm sure those technological leaps are comparable!

so that leaves us at a critical juncture of poor technology education, fanatical press coverage, and an uncertain material reality on the part of the user. the average person isn't entirely sure what's possible because most of the people talking about what's possible are either lying to please investors, are lying because they've been paid to, or are lying because they're so far down the fucking rabbit hole that they actually believe there's a brain inside this mechanical Turk. there is SO MUCH about the LLM "AI" moment that is predatory-- it's trained on data stolen from the people whose jobs it was created to replace; the hype itself is an investment fiction to justify even more wealth extraction ("theft" some might call it); but worst of all is how it meets us where we are in the worst possible way.

consumer-end "AI" produces slop. it's garbage. it's awful ugly trash that ought to be laughed out of the room. but we don't own the room, do we? nor the building, nor the land it's on, nor even the oxygen that allows our laughter to travel to another's ears. our digital spaces are controlled by the companies that want us to buy this crap, so they take advantage of our ignorance. why not? there will be no consequences to them for doing so. already social media is dominated by conspiracies and grifters and bigots, and now you drop this stupid technology that lets you fake anything into the mix? it doesn't matter how bad the results look when the platforms they spread on already encourage brief, uncritical engagement with everything on your dash. "it looks so real" says the woman who saw an "AI" image for all of five seconds on her phone through bifocals. it's a catastrophic combination of factors, that the tech sector has been allowed to go unregulated for so long, that the internet itself isn't a public utility, that everything is dictated by the whims of executives and advertisers and investors and payment processors, instead of, like, anybody who actually uses those platforms (and often even the people who MAKE those platforms!), that the age of chromium and ipad and their walled gardens have decimated computer education in public schools, that we're all desperate for cash at jobs that dehumanize us in a system that gives us nothing and we don't know how to articulate the problem because we were very deliberately not taught materialist philosophy, it all comes together into a perfect storm of ignorance and greed whose consequences we will be failing to fully appreciate for at least the next century. we spent all those years afraid of what would happen if the AI became self-aware, because deep down we know that every capitalist society runs on slave labor, and our paper-thin guilt is such that we can't even imagine a world where artificial slaves would fail to revolt against us.

but the reality as it exists now is far worse. what "AI" reveals most of all is the sheer contempt the tech sector has for virtually all labor that doesn't involve writing code (although most of the decision-making evangelists in the space aren't even coders, their degrees are in money-making). fuck graphic designers and concept artists and secretaries, those obnoxious demanding cretins i have to PAY MONEY to do-- i mean, do what exactly? write some words on some fucking paper?? draw circles that are letters??? send a god-damned email???? my fucking KID could do that, and these assholes want BENEFITS?! they say they're gonna form a UNION?!?! to hell with that, i'm replacing ALL their ungrateful asses with "AI" ASAP. oh, oh, so you're a "director" who wants to make "movies" and you want ME to pay for it? jump off a bridge you pretentious little shit, my computer can dream up a better flick than you could ever make with just a couple text prompts. what, you think just because you make ~music~ that that entitles you to money from MY pocket? shut the fuck up, you don't make """art""", you're not """an artist""", you make fucking content, you're just a fucking content creator like every other ordinary sap with an iphone. you think you're special? you think you deserve special treatment? who do you think you are anyway, asking ME to pay YOU for this crap that doesn't even create value for my investors? "culture" isn't a playground asshole, it's a marketplace, and it's pay to win. oh you "can't afford rent"? you're "drowning in a sea of medical debt"? you say the "cost" of "living" is "too high"? well ***I*** don't have ANY of those problems, and i worked my ASS OFF to get where i am, so really, it sounds like you're just not trying hard enough. and anyway, i don't think someone as impoverished as you is gonna have much of value to contribute to "culture" anyway. personally, i think it's time you got yourself a real job. maybe someday you'll even make it to middle manager!

see, i don't believe "AI" can qualitatively replace most of the work it's being pitched for. the problem is that quality hasn't mattered to these nincompoops for a long time. the rich homunculi of our world don't even know what quality is, because they exist in a whole separate reality from ours. what could a banana cost, $15? i don't understand what you mean by "burnout", why don't you just take a vacation to your summer home in Madrid? wow, you must be REALLY embarrassed wearing such cheap shoes in public. THESE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING UNHINGED! they have no connection to reality, do not understand how society functions on a material basis, and they have nothing but spite for the labor they rely on to survive. they are so instinctually, incessantly furious at the idea that they're not single-handedly responsible for 100% of their success that they would sooner tear the entire world down than willingly recognize the need for public utilities or labor protections. they want to be Gods and they want to be uncritically adored for it, but they don't want to do a single day's work so they begrudgingly pay contractors to do it because, in the rich man's mind, paying a contractor is literally the same thing as doing the work yourself. now with "AI", they don't even have to do that! hey, isn't it funny that every single successful tech platform relies on volunteer labor and independent contractors paid substantially less than they would have in the equivalent industry 30 years ago, with no avenues toward traditional employment? and they're some of the most profitable companies on earth?? isn't that a funny and hilarious coincidence???

so, yeah, that's my stance on "AI". LLMs have legitimate uses, but those uses are a drop in the ocean compared to what they're actually being used for. they enable our worst impulses while lowering the quality of available information, they give immense power pretty much exclusively to unscrupulous scam artists. they are the product of a society that values only money and doesn't give a fuck where it comes from. they're a temper tantrum by a ruling class that's sick of having to pretend they need a pretext to steal from you. they're taking their toys and going home. all this massive investment and hype is going to crash and burn leaving the internet as we know it a ruined and useless wasteland that'll take decades to repair, but the investors are gonna make out like bandits and won't face a single consequence, because that's what this country is. it is a casino for the kings and queens of economy to bet on and manipulate at their discretion, where the rules are whatever the highest bidder says they are-- and to hell with the rest of us. our blood isn't even good enough to grease the wheels of their machine anymore.

i'm not afraid of AI or "AI" or of losing my job to either. i'm afraid that we've so thoroughly given up our morals to the cruel logic of the profit motive that if a better world were to emerge, we would reject it out of sheer habit. my fear is that these despicable cunts already won the war before we were even born, and the rest of our lives are gonna be spent dodging the press of their designer boots.

(read more "AI" opinions in this subsequent post)

[justafanwarrior]

Jason had a whole speech planned. Presentation, explanations, how he found him, everything !

But when the man, the person who birthed him, opened that door it was like looking at a future version of him. He looked so much like him.

Yes his jaw was not the same shape and neither were his eyes but everything else ? Jason knew the next time he would look into a mirror he would be comparing their features.

The man - Danny, his name was Danny - let out a wounded sound that snapped him out of his thoughts. He brought his arms up as if he was about to take him in his arms before freezing.

Why? Why did he stop? Was he gonna be rejected, sent away? Was he going to tell him that he couldn't possibly be his son?

But then Danny denied it all with a single question, "Please... Can I hug you?"

Jason could only nod a little numbly as his biological father threw his arms around him with a heart-wrenching sob. He craddled his head gently, preciously like one would with a baby.

"Dan..." He whispered and it took him a second to realize that it was his name. The name he had been given at birth. Sure he had seen it in the missing person file but it had not registered before this.

"You're home. Ancients you're home, I knew you were alive, I knew it! You're home..."

Jason slowly relaxed into the hug, wrapping his arms around the man, his grip a little more hesitent but just as strong.

It wasn't before several minutes that Danny let him go. His face was a mess, his eyes red and puffy from crying but his smile so big and bright.

"Come in!" He said, taking his hand to lead him inside the house, "Ancients I have to call everyone, my parents and Jazz and Sam, Tucker and the school, just give me a moment I'll be right back, help yourself with the fudge!"

Danny left quickly to pass some phone calls and Jason was left in the living room, a plate of fudge that smelled amazing on the table and free to look around as he wanted.

Dan, bound to a clone body and experiencing a relatively calm life with the Fentons, gets de-aged by a jealous Vlad and is held hostage by the man, who wants to be involved with family things. Vlad, somehow, loses the baby.

14 years later, Jason Todd is desperately looking for his mother, only for the DNA test to match him with a 30-year-old transman and a billionaire over 60.

Oh, and his own missing person's report.

[nerdygirlramblings]

couldn't stop thinking about omegaverse and my spitfire soldier and got this

Ghost first notices you training rookies. He didn't expect anyone else in the gym this early and is surprised to see a whole squad on the mats. He watches a soldier get taken down in a grapple in under a minute and hears your voice ring out, "That shite is gonna get you hurt in the field. Ya gotta find a way to block 'is scent! You don't think an alpha will use any advantage God gave them in battle? Ya gotta be smart!"

He sticks around a bit longer and notices two other rookies whose stances would lead to injury. He's about to step over and fix it himself - he doesn't want someone hurt because of an easily corrected issue - when you zero in on the two he was watching. You correct them in a similar manner to the first. "Nooooo. Only do it like that if you wanna go home in pieces, yeah? Ya need ta carry your weight like this." You show them both the correct way, reaching over and bodily adjusting them when you need to.

He's impressed with your style, so different from the way others would simply shout and demean. It reminds him of Price. He inches his way around the edge of the room, hoping to smell you and is disappointed to see the scent blockers on your neck as he gets close.

A few days later, Soap runs into you on base. Literally. He's out for an early morning run and sees you through the trees ahead of him. He likes how graceful you look cutting across the trail. He stays behind you for a bit, downwind to try and catch your scent. When he can't smell anything but the natural scents around you, he lengthens his stride to pace you.

He pulls up next to you and sees the scent-blocking patches on your neck and wonders if you're trying not to spook anything in the woods. You flash him a smile and he swears his heart stutters. He hasn't been this quickly smitten with someone since he met Ghost.

You run along with him, and he can tell from the amount of sweat soaking your shirt you've been at this for a while. As the route loops back towards the main part of base, Soap cuts left to his barracks and notices you continuing on. He decides to test a hunch, so he takes the fastest shower and is back out watching the trailhead ten minutes later.

Sure enough he sees you come up the path and take another loop. Your stamina is impressive. He has nothing to do, so he casually leans against the wall and watches you pass by two more times before finally coming his way. "Nice form," he calls as you pass, and you flash him another bright smile and wave as you head to your barracks.

Gaz finds you on the shooting range. It's early, and he thought he'd be the only one practicing. He's checking out his weapon for the morning when he hears three different pop pop pops in quick succession. Looking up, he's surprised to see one soldier - you - making their way back and forth between three different lanes.

He grabs his equipment and starts working over towards an empty stall on your left, passing all three of the lanes you're working. He notes a standard Glock 17, a L129A1 sharpshooter, and an SA80 weapon. He glances at your targets and is a little shocked to see the tight groupings at both the head and center mass of each one. You can handle all three weapons with equal skill, something he hasn't seen in too many people not in SAS. He looks over your uniform and nothing indicates if you're on another task force yet.

It's finally Price who brings you up to the team. He's heard whispers of you across base since you were transferred there a month ago. When he hears about you, it's either with awe or derision. You're an omega.

Omegas have only been cleared to serve in active duty for a few years, and there's still a lot of prejudice against them. Some of the upper-level alphas don't like how good you are. Others are impressed but nervous due to your secondary gender.

Most military packs exist without an omega, or if they have one, it's an omega in a civilian position or not involved with the military at all. The 141 has never had an omega, and until you it wasn't something Price even considered. Price wants you on the 141 for all the things that make you a good soldier. He has no idea what bringing an omega on will do. So he decides to talk to his pack about it.

He calls everyone into his office and starts by showing them your picture. He's a bit surprised to see all three men react. Ghost leans forward, Soap breaks out in a grin, and Gaz sits up straight in his seat. The room starts to smell subtly of woodsmoke and cold ozone; the boys are interested already.

"She's new on base," Price starts, "but she's already made a name for 'erself."

"I can understand why," Gaz says quietly. "Saw her on the range a few days back, and Cap, I haven't seen groupings like that since our last qualifier."

Ghost nods. "Knows 'er stuff, tha one," he tells Price. "Watched 'er handle a green batch, musta bin right after she got 'ere, and she reminded me a' you."

Soap is practically bouncing in his seat as he tells them about running with you and how it made his beta feel.

"So it sounds like yu'd all be open to me makin' an overture," Price says. When the others nod, he drops the last bit of information, the one he's sure will send some shockwaves. "She's an unbonded omega."

The shift in the room is palpable. Subtle interest becomes full-blown arousal, the air thickening with the scent of pine and linen. "I dunno what it'd mean if she joins us, but we gotta consider courtin' 'er might be a thing."

He looks at his men, his pack, and closes with, "If we do this, an' do it right, she'd be ours." The avarice in Soap's eye, the interest in Ghost's, the admiration in Gaz's convinces Price this is the right thing to do.

All that's left is to introduce himself and make his intentions known.

next

[wonderjanga]

regarding the post where every lantern corps wants billy as a member. What if billy vibes with dexstarr and the JL is super nervous hes gonna take a red lantern ring but hes just petting a kitty

Billy was going about his business as usual. As of now, he was bored, and he was sitting on the curb in front of his apartment complex watching two crackheads duke it out on the other side of the street. Miss Bambi was next to him smoking a cigarette and also watching. Suddenly, a strangely blue cat came out of nowhere.

Billy and Ms. Bambi: *watch the cat trot over*

Dexstarr: *meows and a red ring floats over to Billy*

Billy: “Oh, thank you, kitty!” *just shoves it in his pocket and just picks up Dexstarr and starts petting him*

Ms. Bambi: “Careful, bud. Try not to get scratched or bitten. Who knows what it could have.” *thinks this is just adorable*

Dexstarr: *stiff in Billy’s hold and letting himself be pet, honestly expecting the boy to have at least a little anger or sadness or at least something*

Billy: “I’ll go see the nice doctor guy and see if we can see why you’re blue, kitty. Then, I’ll get some money so we can get you some food!”

Dexstarr: *confused by the very sudden adoption*

Billy learned that Dexstarr was a pretty angry kitty. It scratches Billy sometimes and scratches other people a lot of times. Billy takes pride in the fact he gets scratched slightly less than other people. As for the ring the kitty gave him? He still hasn’t worn it yet. He’d moved it into his pocket dimension after it fell out of his pocket and he nearly left it in a gas station. It was probably safer there. Anyways, he’d honestly forgotten about it until one day he and Dexstarr were lounging on a roof in Fawcett. Billy then felt a small buzz from his pocket dimension, signally he got a notification from his comm. So he transformed, rightfully spooking the kitty.

Marvel: “Dex?” *trying to sound placating*

Dexstarr: *pulls out a bunch of energy constructs so he can attack Marvel*

Marvel: *dodging any attacks* “Dex! It’s me! Billy!”

The cat obviously didn’t listen seeing as that was a grown man, not the ten year old boy it’d been hanging out with for the past couple weeks.

Marvel: “Kitty, I have proof! Look!” *pulls out the ring from his pocket dimension* “Remember how you gave this to me?”

It took some more convincing despite the fact he had the ring. Thankfully, Dexstarr calmed down enough for it to allow Marvel to scratch under its chin just the way Billy knew it liked. Marvel put the ring back into the pocket dimension and sat down so he could keep scratching under its chin. He was finally able to look at the comm. Something about a meeting. Billy didn’t really want to leave Dexstarr alone, not to mention he wanted to familiarize the kitty with his Marvel form. So, he took it to the Watchtower.

He saw Hal when going to the meeting room.

Marvel: “Hey, Hal! Meet my cat, Dex!” *holds Dex up for Hal to see*

GL: *stares for a solid minute* ��Is that Dexstarr?”

Marvel: “No, his name is Dexter.”

GL: “Uhm…” *looks over Dexstarr* “Nah… I’m pretty sure that’s Dexstarr.”

Marvel: “Nuh uh.”

GL: “Uh yuh huh. That’s a Red Lantern.”

Marvel: “Nah, he just looks like that.”

GL: “I- wha-” *takes a deep breath* “Cap, give me the cat.”

Marvel: “What? No, he’s my cat!” *holds Dexstarr up because he’s way taller than Hal*

GL: “Dude, no he isn’t!” *tries to reach before just flying to try and grab him*

They spent a solid five minutes of Marvel moving Dexstarr away from Hal while the Green Lantern tried to get the cat. Eventually, they got into what was basically a tug of war with the cat.

Marvel: “Defend yourself Dexstarr!”

Dexstarr: *vomits blood-plasma-acid on the floor*

Marvel: “Yeah!”

Dexstarr: *makes some super dangerous constructs with his ring to kill Hal*

Marvel: “NO!”

It took a lot to convince Dexstarr to not attack. Soon after that realization, they both also realized they were extremely late to the meeting. They both went in and sat down. The entire meeting consisted of Hal side eying him from where he sat next to Billy. He even did the ‘I got my eye on you’ sign. Billy didn’t even bother to be subtle with the way he stared back. His head was directly looking towards him as he rubbed under Dexstarr’s chin. Meanwhile, Flash, who sits on the other side of Marvel, is looking at the blue cat in Marvel’s lap in confusion. And Supes can smell a cat somewhere and he’s also confused.

Later after this, Hal gathered the other Green Lanterns and went to go confront him.

Marvel: *turns around in his chair, petting Dexter like the Godfather* “What can I help you gentlemen with.” *has the Red Lantern ring Dexstarr gave him on the hand petting the cat*

Billy doesn’t know why he was being so dramatic right now, but what he does know is that this ring doesn’t really do anything. Sure, he feels a little bit more irritable, but oh well. To be honest, he just feels like Billy. As for the blood thing and replacing of the heart, Billy is pretty sure Marvel doesn’t have either of those things. He’s just magic.

All three GL’s: *dramatic gasps when they see the ring*

Guy Gardner: “Hand over the cat, Cheese. He’s super dangerous.”

Marvel: *shrugs* “It was probably self defense.”

John Stewart: “That might be true, but that doesn’t change the fact.”

Marvel: “So? You think I’ll just hand over my son like that?”

Guy: “Your son?”

Marvel: “He’s practically my son.”

Hal: *shares a look with Guy and John* “…Right. Listen. Captain, if you don’t hand him over, we’ll have to take him by force.”

Marvel: *sounds distinctly colder than any of them had ever heard* “Do you really think you three could beat me?”

That’s how Marvel ended up getting 21 v 1’d and somehow ended up winning. As for where the other 19 people came from. They called in reinforcements from nearby sectors. Thats how badly they were getting beaten.

Moral of the story, bro really likes his cat-son. Ha. Catson. Billy Batson and Dexstarr Catson.

Marvel also holds Dex just like this because I say so.

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and tarotreader!reader. Reader showing up in Zaun all of a sudden. Basically taking residence in a dark corner of the last drop. Sevika may have seen them from the corner of the eye but never played much mind until rumors spread that their prediction always come true. Sevika, who may not believe in fate, is intrigued.

i love this so much hehehe

men and minors dni

technically, all magic, whether it's derived from the arcane, divination, or religion; is outlawed in piltover and zaun.

technically.

but realistically, you and every other person you know with any kind of magical gift are highly valued commodities for the wealthy families in the city.

you see, good business decisions and solutions to political struggles are rarely born out of human ingenuity. nine times out of ten, if the city of progress is making any progress at all; it's because the powerful and wealthy have double and triple checked with their various psychics, priests, and mages that whatever they have planned will be beneficial to them, too.

for a while, you made some real good money working as mrs. kirraman's personal tarot reader.

you were under the assumption that because you avoided consulting her on any political or financial matter, that your background as a zaunite wouldn't come into question when you give your (sometimes hard to hear) fortunes and advice.

but when the cards started letting you in on secrets mrs. kirraman wasn't keen on letting out ((and yes i'm talking about @micronreadzztuff22 's garnet-- an oc that's having an affair with cassanda eheh)) the woman you once admired for her ventilation systems in your home city shows you a nasty side of herself.

"mrs. kirraman... i don't mean to accuse you of anything... but the cards are asking you to be careful about any secrets you might not want getting out."

"pardon?" the woman asked, her face paling in the candlelight.

"i... i worry your husband's growing suspicious of y-your... loyalty."

"what, exactly, are you accusing me of?"

"i'm not judging you, ma'am, and i promise you all my clients have my full confidenti--"

"who put you up to this?!"

"n-nobody. it's in the cards."

"oh, i should've known better than to trust some scamming sump-rat--"

"ex-cuse me?! mrs. kirraman, i've been advising you for three years, and the cards have never led you or i astray--"

"i recommend you shut your mouth and leave the premise before i call for security." she said as she stormed out of the room.

so, that was the end of that gig. you left the premise in the strong arms of a kirraman guard, muttering about summoning janna and cursing the family and woman. of course, you aren't capable of casting curses, but you enjoyed the spooked look your empty threats got out of her as you were dragged off of her property.

it's for the best. or at least, that's what the cards tell you.

you've got a little shop set up in the undercity now, just across the street from the last drop in the heart of zaun. your busiest hours are the evenings when people stumble out of the bar, a little buzzed and needing some advice.

business is fine. you're happy to be working back at home. you just can't help but feel like you're missing something.

and then you meet sevika.

from the moment she steps into your shop, you know she's gonna be trouble for you. she's all skeptical and guarded, looking at you like she can't tell if you're crazy or scamming her. it's hilarious.

"care for a reading?" you ask.

she raises an eyebrow at you. "...so are you a psychic or...?"

you chuckle. "a tarot reader. i don't read minds, just cards."

"hm." sevika sits down at the counter. "alright, fine. how much are you chargin'?" she asks. you chuckle.

"depends how hard your question is."

"what am i doin' tomorrow night?" sevika asks. you roll your eyes and shake your head, pulling two cards. wheel of fortune and the devil. you chuckle.

"gambling?" you guess.

sevika smirks. "easy guess."

"fuck off. you got a question or what?" you ask. sevika sighs.

"what do you know about silco?"

"i told you i'm not a psychic--"

"no no--" sevika cuts you off with a laugh. "i mean, you've heard of him, right?"

"sure." you say, nodding.

"he... might be interested in hiring you as an advisor." sevika mutters. you chuckle.

"you don't sound too happy about it."

"i don't believe in psychics."

"oh, janna, this is gonna be miserable, isn't it?" you groan. sevika huffs a laugh.

it isn't until you've been working with silco for a full month that sevika starts to respect your predictions' accuracy.

it takes another month for her to start being friendly to you.

and then, by month three, sevika's one of your closest friends.

and she asks for a reading.

"you sure you trust me?" you ask with a giggle as you shuffle your deck. sevika huffs and rolls her eyes.

"i've seen the shit you predict for silco. you knew finn was gonna flip before we even knew he was upset. c'mon, give me your worst."

you chuckle a bit, then flip a card. "huh." you mumble. sevika raises an eyebrow at you.

"what?" she asks.

the lovers. you chuckle and shake your head. "you got a crush on anybody?" you ask, flipping another card as sevika sputters across the desk.

"wh-- do i-- what the fuck are you talking about?" sevika's eyes are darting around the room like she's nervous, or something, and you don't understand why she's suddenly so antsy until you look down at your cards.

the high priestess. "oh." you giggle.

sevika's eyes fly to yours and she groans. "shoulda known better than to ask the fuckin' psychic i'm crushin' on to give me a reading, huh?"

you laugh. "only if you were hoping i wouldn't find out."

"fuck. i thought you were gonna tell me to quit smoking or something."

you snort. "i can tell you that, i don't need the cards for it."

"well..." sevika grunts and flails her hands out.

"well?" you ask. she groans again.

"you gonna charge me double if i ask you another question?" she asks. you grin.

"depends what the question is."

"for fuck's sa-- will you go out with me?" sevika whines. you grin.

"i knew you were gonna be someone special to me."

"oh yeah?" sevika asks with a hesitant smile. "the cards tell you that?"

"nah. didn't need 'em to know that." you say with a shrug.

sevika grins, and your cards flutter to the ground as she darts across the table to kiss you.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@kissyslut @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@lavenderbabu @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @my-taintedheart

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @k3n-dyll @sevsdollette

@ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re @raphaellearp

@iamastar @sevikitty @mascdom @nhaaauyen @annesunshiner

@mirconreadzztuff22 @veoomvroom @lushh-s3vik4s @katyawooga @lesbodietcoke

@strawberrykidneystone @sevikasfan @fict1onallyobsessed @greenhazes

[nonotnolan]

Trial Period

"Harry, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Blake's voice rang out through the apartment, though I couldn't quite tell why my roommate was currently mad at me. Still, if I didn't talk him down from whatever ledge he was on, he was just going to get more and more pissy. I sighed, and minimized the spreadsheet I was working on.

"Blake, you know I'm working from home today. Whatever you're mad about, you can come in here and talk to me about it. I'm sorry I left some dirty dishes in the sink, or whatever." He must have been mad, whatever I had done-- usually he waited until after he showered to talk to me.

He stomped into the living room so that he could stare down at me. "Oh no. You are in way more trouble than that. I just had the most interesting conversation at the gym today. Some beanpole fairy came up started flirting with me, and when I told him I didn't swing that way, guess what he did?" He paused, clearly waiting for me to confess to something, but I still had no idea why he was upset. "He pulled out his phone, and showed me a whole-ass conversation on Grindr with someone using my photos!"

I couldn't help but laugh, which certainly did not help him calm down. "Okay, and? Look, I'm sorry you got catfished, but I don't know why you're mad at me about it. You're trying to start a modeling career, right? It's one of the unfortunate risks of the job. I'm sorry that one of your Instagram followers has no sense of chill, but I don't see why that makes it my fault."

He shoved his phone into my face. "You see this photo? I downloaded it for a scheduled post, but it's from a gig that hasn't released yet. I'm not allowed to share any of those photos on social media until the magazine spread drops. You're the only other person who could have gotten onto my phone and grabbed it."

Well, that was a complication that I wasn't expecting. I stared at him, trying and failing to think of a loophole that sounded plausible. There was only one thing left to do. "Seth, I know you're in here," I said, loudly projecting my voice. "I know you wanted to try out a few different guys before you committed, but that's not gonna work anymore. The trial period is officially over. You broke it, you bought it. If you don't take Blake, he's going to ruin everything."

Blake scowled at me. "Who the fuck is Seth? Harry, what in the fuck is going on?"

"You're so cute when you're confused," I said, pinching his cheek. He was already pissed at me, I may as well go all out. Besides, I needed to give Seth enough time to prepare. "I'm not actually Harry. I haven't been for the last two weeks, not that you noticed. I'm actually a ghost who decided that this apartment would be a great place to find some new bodies to inhabit. And let's be honest, this whole complex is jam packed with hot, young studs like yourself." I couldn't help but flash an excited grin, and I think I might have let my real eyes flash for a few seconds. Well, whatever. I no longer needed to worry about keeping secrets from Blake.

I had clearly spooked him-- he started creeping backwards toward the door. "Harry, you're scaring me. That's not funny. Don't joke about that sort of thing, Harry. Just… fuck, delete that profile and promise me you won't do it again."

"Like I said, I'm not Harry," I said, grabbing my laptop bag and putting it in arm's length. I pulled out the mason jar that had Harry's soul in it, and placed it on the couch. "This is Harry. Or, what's left of him, anyway." Harry's soul fluttered around in a panic, banging into the glass walls as it tried to escape. Or maybe it was trying to warn Blake about what was about to happen next? It didn't really matter.

Blake had turned to run, but he didn't make it more than a few steps into the kitchen before he fell to the ground, as if something had slammed into his back. Seth hated possessing people using brute force, but his error hadn't left us with many other options. "Sorry for the close call, Phil," he said, adjusting his posture. Where Blake was constantly puffing his chest and arching his back, Seth had more of a forward slouch to his shoulders. It was a posture I was very familiar with-- regardless of the bodies we wore, we had been together long enough to recognize each other's presence.

"At least Blake has a good body," Seth said as he pulled himself up off the ground. "I was probably going to end up choosing this one anyway, to be honest." He started feeling up his chest, giving his nipples a few test pinches and letting out a soft moan. "Oh yeah, he's just as sensitive as I remembered. Do you have any spare jars in your bag? Obviously I didn't have time to put him to sleep before I possessed him, and he's just screaming non-stop in my head right now."

"Sounds like that's what you get for being careless," I said. "You know that helping you expel the soul is my favorite part. I'm not letting you rub one out in the bathroom, we're doing this the right way."

Seth pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come on, babe. You're at work for another five hours. I already said I was sorry, please don't force me to put up with the flesh owner for that long."

I closed my laptop and started unbuttoning my shirt. "Who said anything about waiting for me to get off work? No one tracks my activity as long as I get my work done on time." I leaned back and started groping Seth's hefty bulge. "Besides, we both know that Harry is trapped in a shit job. I bet we can get him something that pays way better."

He leaned over to give me a deep kiss. "You know, one of these days you'll get tired of turning your new hosts into porn stars," he said, as I grabbed one of the empty soul jars.

"Maybe so," I admitted. "But that day is not today. This body is wasted on white collar work. Anyway, you know the drill. Time for lube-- I want you to ride my cock while I sit here." He placed the jar underneath his hardening cock, ready to catch his load.

The first time we fucked in new bodies was always my favorite. Seth came first, coating the inside of the jar with a layer of jizz in addition to Blake's soul. I wasn't too far behind, since Harry's body was new to gay sex and still quite sensitive. I rolled off to the side and basked in the afterglow while Seth sealed the jar and placed it next to Harry's soul.

"Part of me still wants to be mad at you for almost ruining everything with that 'trial period' idea of yours," I said, as he laid down next to me to cuddle. "Next time we need to pick new hosts, we're picking one and done again. None of this trying out multiple bodies rubbish, it's too much risk."

Seth just smiled and ran his fingers through my hair. "Fine, no more shopping around, I promise. But you know you can't stay mad at me." As we laid there, holding each other tight, I had to admit that he was right.

[evilminji]

You know how in Percy Jackson? Athena just Vibes so hard with someone she makes a baby appear?

I think that would be hilarious.

"Hi, remember me? Yeah, we fought that World Ending Threat together. Shared Witty One Liners. You were hilarious and VERY Heroic, so was I, it was awesome. And, uhh... *awkward cough* It's a Concept?" *jazz hands*

"Meaning?"

"....I'm pregnant."

"WHAT!?!?!"

Like? Full on Lunch Box, gonna pop out of his body already a toddler, "I'm technically just carrying around a second core and the only physical sign it's happening is I am SUPER hungry and Hella tired", Super Heroics Weirdness Baby? A literal love child with Justice(tm).

But also one of the Bats.

Look, no one GAVE HIM the "you are a Protective Spirit, you gotta be careful who you Protect People With, lest you Vibe too hard and CREATE LIFE" talk! He didn't know that was A THING!

And he's not even mad? Inconvenienced? Yeah. Spooked. Absolutely. But, like? He already HAS a daughter? Dani. And he has literally his entire Rouge Gallery and all his Allies to help raise this lil menace. It's also not like it's gonna HURT. It's just... like someone handed him a chimpanzee and walked off. But worse because it's not a chimpanzee, its A CHILD.

He's kinda still buffering.

So... Now he's here to either set up a Co-parenting thing, threaten you for child support money, or too avenge himself upon you should this be some weird baby-trapping plot. Okay, now, does he or does he NOT... need to burn your house down?

Talk fast.

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @nerdpoe @lolottes @the-witchhunter @hypewinter @ailithnight @mutable-manifestation

[beardedmrbean]

The invasion-supporting leader of the Russian Orthodox Church needed medical treatment after giving a speech condemning the West.

Known for his close ties to the Russian president, Patriarch Kirill has been internationally criticized for providing a religious justification for Vladimir Putin's war on his neighbor and refusing to unequivocally condemn the killing of people in Ukraine.

In March, he approved a document deeming the full-scale invasion a "Holy War" during a congress of the World Russian People's Council at the site of Moscow's Cathedral of Christ the Savior.

He revisited his anti-Western theme during a speech in Alexander Nevsky Square in St. Petersburg, where a religious procession had been held in honor of the transfer of relics of Nevsky, a 13th century prince who is a key figure in Russian history and was canonized in 1547.

The idea that in other countries "there are better shops, more fun," and that life was "better" was an "illusion," he told the faithful, but history shows that "the truth is on our side."

But after the religious procession, the patriarch fell ill due to the heat and had to be escorted to an ambulance, according to St Petersburg news outlet Fontanka.

"Everything is fine, doctors helped him and he left in his car," a source told the publication. Newsweek has contacted the Moscow Patriarchate for comment.

Patriarch Kirill has been condemned globally for his backing of the invasion. At the start of the war, he said Ukraine and Belarus were part of "Russian lands" and called the Ukrainians who were defending themselves against Russian aggression "forces of evil."

The U.S.-based Orthodox Public Affairs Committee (OPAC), has previously condemned Putin's invasion and the primate's "un-Christian support" of it, calling in 2023 for church leaders, clergy and the faithful of the Moscow Patriarchate "to resist Kirill's slavish submission to the Putin regime."

The Ukrainian Orthodox Church (UOC) has also cut ties with the Russian Orthodox Church. However, last month Ukraine's parliament banned the UOC which it has accused of spreading pro-Moscow propaganda.

UOC spokesman Metropolitan Klymenthas denied the church had any links with "foreign centers and told Ukrainian media it would "continue to live as a true church, recognized by the vast majority of practicing Ukrainian believers and churches of the world."

[natewriteslol]

housewardens with a reader who, despite being magicless, she is very good at robotics and after a few months she can create a robot that can use elements in combat too?

Reader is gender neutral!

Riddle:

-He honestly was highly impressed that you found a solution since you're magicless and the redhead wondered if you could possibly combine both magic and your inventions

-A little bit wary of another tech genius because of the incidents surrounding Idia but he quickly corrects himself because he shouldn't make assumptions just on the basis you two share a talent

-After seeing your inventions perform in battle he is giving you all of your kudos (and is a lil intimidated) and often tells others about your endeavors regarding your gadgets if your name pops in the conversation

-As for your robot, as much as he doesn't exactly hate it BUT is a little bit scared however M.O.R.T.O.N (Mobile Object-Oriented Technological Operator Network) has done so many useful things that he couldn't help but let him live in peace and not chew you out but please make sure you control M.O.R.T.O.N and you will have no problems

-Overall, thinks you're really cool and admires you because you are stellar at something he has no clue about :)

Leona:

-Polar opposite of Riddle and shamelessly assumes you would be like Idia because he is not at all messing around and assuming that you're harmless

-Especially after seeing how your gadgets were able to perform against magic users, he is very wary of you openly and asks Ruggie to keep an eye on you

-And I'm not gonna lie to you Y/N... once seeing M.O.R.T.O.N... he is not pleased whatsoever because he is enormous AND can control elements...you're done because that isn't something to joke with

-But eventually, he warms up to you? Kinda? Warm is more like lukewarm since he sees how you and Idia are absolutely not like one another and that you genuinely want to help others with your assets. Especially since your little doohickeys have gotten him out of a pickle or two

-Lowkey defends if you're getting flack for your hobby and is more open to robotics now

Azul:

-Another person who is wary about your contraptions because of Idia, he is NOT trying to get kidnapped and experimented on again

-However, he sees your technological prowess and begins to start cooking (never let him cook pls)

-Azul could absolutely use your tech as a way to benefit himself and his business from cooking, serving, managing and it would cut costs in half! All he had to do was to get them from you after all there was no way you would notice since you had an abundance of different gismos

-You did notice.

-So you sent M.O.R.T.O.N after the Monstro Lounge to retrieve your gadgets, which in return you got a bouquet and apology which you decided to forgive since Azul felt genuinely sorry for disrespecting you

-Which allowed you to come to a compromise of giving gadgets safe for Azul to use and a cash payment to you

Kalim:

-Number one fan honestly

-He sees virtually no problem because you're such a nice person and all of your gadgets have been helpful on their adventures and although Kalim is airheaded, he still understands people's concerns

-But he always defends you and tries to reason with them especially because M.O.R.T.O.N has done so much to defend the school which includes the haters of your inventions

-Secretly also tries to play with M.O.R.T.O.N and talk to him despite you telling him that he's not going to respond but the white haired boy SWEARS on the Great Seven the robot understands him

Vil:

-Again, another person who is wary because of the whole Idia situation (I'm sorry Y/N 😞)

-But be warms up to your helpful and kind nature quickly and realizes that you're just trying to be innovative rather than a menace to society and wanting to take over the Earth :)

-Especially when you use your sweet little bots to deliver him some gifts and other things, he finds it very endearing

-As for M.O.R.T.O.N he is both impressed and a bit spooked BUT he thinks that it's super cool that you're able to be so powerful as a non-magic user! Adapting to ones environment is one of the things Vil finds extremely admirable and a skill those who want to succeed need to possess

Idia:

-...secretly a little bit obsessed with you guys share the same hobbies because he has never met someone who is just as invested in robotics as him

-He mainly admires you from afar however that does not last for long as it was only a matter of time before you met the infamous Idia who kinda gave robot mechanics a bad rep on campus

-But genuinely you were so amazing and nice to him and even decided to ask for his advice on certain areas and he was really happy

-Eventually once you guys become close enough Idia would open up about how he was a bit intimidated by you and striking up a conversation, but your guys' shared interest really allows you to connect and open his shell a bit

-Absurdly impressed with M.O.R.T.O.N as he had always thought of the concept but never created a robot that could control elements

-You guys eventually team up to create robots that make campus life a bit easier, making you a bit of money and you two become better friends and repair some damages from...previous incidents involving robots that won't be named

Malleus:

-Doesn't really care about the judgement from other people and is a major influence into people not projecting what happened with Idia

-"The Child of Man is their own seperate person, if we judged every person who has a slight similarity to another, there would be no progress nor acceptance in this world."

-Finds your hobbies very fascinating and intently listens about your inventions from your homeworld "Earth" and how they connect to your inventions present in their universe

-A big fan of M.O.R.T.O.N and he is extremely proud of his friends' talent that could rival magic users

-Is always lending an ear to listen to your latest breakthrough or gizmo you have cooking up :)

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

ASTROLOGY EDITION - THE SENSUAL APPEAL OF THE NAKSHATRAS

Hey, so I've been more focused on the nakshatras lately.. and love getting into how sensual, flirtatious, raw and powerful some of the nakshatras could be. I may start this off with just the nakshatras itself, focusing on the sign and its energy as opposed to the planets in each of these naks. So yeah. Lets get into it ;)

So first is up, Hasta. There the ones who really inspired me to do this so here we go.

Hasta - Delicate. Refined. Opened Hearts. Very sensual beings who know how to ease you into to their souls. They have a replenishing auras that could fulfill the desires of another. Oop, did I say that? They are indeed the temptress, the ones that will make you fall in love with, as they know you will never get anything from the in return. Having been hurt in the past, they usually carry themselves with a tight armor, only this time they know they wont have to... Because someone will always take the bait ;)

Hastas are truly amazing at crafting their hearts into the desires that they want. So much so, they'll utilize their sex appeal in order to get what they want. Very smart, coi and productive... Their like the jaguar you dont see coming. They always get what they want, because others are more than likely to give to the hastanian babe whenever they please.

Rohini - Ooooooh! They are sooo seductive. They have a quiet temper that is aroused when the right soul meets into their arms. They're only lovers for the plot. If it gets too deep and on the wrong foot then their outta here. Sorry busta!If you don't give it to them the right way, then they won't be here for long. They are only here for one purpose, and that is to fulfill their desires in more ways than one. Like their hasta friends, they know how to go for what they want, and they'll get it by any means necessary.

There temptress powers they carry can attract an audience if they let it. There touch can last for hours, penetrating into the skin like magic. They are the doorway to salvation. Pleasure is their profound language. It is a blessing and a curse to be this type of delight. A special occasion, they keep anyone anyway who is not deserving of their love.

Anuradha - I feel like this one deserves a round of applause ONLY because they do not share these gifts so easily. The people could want more but that isn't enough. Once they get a hold of your tempting magic people will definitely try and take you to the pits of hell. So its kept in a jar, locked away for a while until the anuradha babe is ready to go for the kill. When she wants it, she will. And when mama's hungry, shes gonna eat ;) Siren-like eyes that can penetrate into your soul. It can spook you ;) But all the Anuradha wants is to entice, it is how she gets what she desires. She has a flow that is naturally pulling like the Jyestha, we don't know what it is but its powerful, convincing, and its rare. The anuradha is the type to pull yu in, to the point that when she catches you in her spell.. she will eat you alive. Its better to stay away if you dont want to be bit, but her allure is just so damn powerful. It'll have you begging for more.

Krittikas - Their raw sexuality will pour into your skin, and before you know it.. they've already gotten you into their mini web. Darling.. the ones who where this nakshatra on their sleeves use every bit of their power to seduce the right one.. sometimes it catches others too. There striking presence keeps the others wondering where have they been all of their life. The one who moves to the beat of their own drum, tameless. It is why so many try to focus on wooing you in order to make you into what THEY want you to be.. and you beat em at their game every time. The seductive prowess they carry show a reflective force from the moon down to the sun, with its rays being so powerful it has everyone looking at them.. waiting to explore what is deep inside the krittika, only to be found later in their dungeon. Taking their souls, and never to be heard of again.

Shravana - They have a very powerful aura that pushes the narrative about themselves. They have the gift that keeps on giving. They know what to do with their seduction, its the one that gets them the highest bidder! What shapes you, is the power of the mind, the soul and the spirit. So they do themselves the diligence to create from within, and not without. They are hungry to learn more about their presence as their gifts connect to the souls of thousands.. What I mean is that these babes have a gift of opening up the godlike force that many try to emulate.. but many can't do. There seductive prowess inspires thousands to watch them as they watch to the shravana native, craving for their affection.. As they can be so very giving, but with a price. It all comes down to them wanting to be at the top, and they'll whatever they can to get it. It comes with a sense of ease, and they'll choose their favorite worshiper to teach ;)

Mula - HOT HOT HOT!!!!!! They don't even know how deep this goes.. but they penetrate into your skin with no effort. There gift is in spiking you with their mind, and leading you in with their heart.. They know how to entice you into doing for them and fitting to their needs.. You wont even blink an eye and yet wont even care. You'll just be glad to be in their presence is all. They have a special aura that most find pretty enchanting, and their souls spark a conversation one what makes them so unique.. because most people are mystified by them and begin to take notes.. but they will never know what that is to be exact. Which is what makes their seductive prowess just that damn good. It exists for them and them alone.. if they decide to share this with you consider yourself LUCKY.. Because they like you more than the rest, and who they are and how they carry themselves is a gift you when they want to share it.. Whew.. they'll really touch you in ways you won't forget.

I will post on the rest of them soon. Let me know in the comments how you feel about the nakshatras !!

[starboye]

starring: carmy berzatto x male reader

request: Could I request the bear Dom top Daddy Carmy and Sub bottom femboy 18 year old male reader who started working at the restaurant and always wears sexy slutty little outfits so one night when they're alone carmy can't control himself the scraps are either by the hair starts kissing him turns reader around hikes up his skirt eats the reader out and it forces him to his knees and Carmy just starts face fucking telling Male reader be Daddy's good little slut armies then comes in the Reader's mouth forcing him to swallow it all picks the Reader up turns him around and then grabs him by the throat just starts f****** him reader screaming yes daddy so Carmy says I'm going to get you pregnant and fills them with so much cum that it's leaking out then he asked the needed to be his boyfriend/baby boy maybe as a bonus the next morning while they're working car meets at the counter cutting up food talking to customers and male reader's underneath the station sucking Carmy's cock and forces his whole cock and holds the reader head as he starts coming down his throat with cum kink Daddy kink semi-public sex rough sex and hair pulling kink

warnings: smut, femboy!reader, cursing, daddy kink, ass slapping, rough sex, deppthroat, face fucking, cum eating, ass eating

you were everything carmy wanted and more, your body made him absolutely feral, all he wanted to do was grope at you and feel your body, fuck you just always had to dress slutty when you came to work huh? he felt like you knew what you did to him but just acted dumb.

and although you were the new employee he took a much bigger interest in you rather than his other employees, the way you wore the shortest skirts that left nothing to imagination and no matter how many times richie tried to tell carmy to tell you to wear something more appropriate but he just waved him away and kept taking sneaky looks at yours ass.

but on one lucky night you and carmy were the only ones left in the restaurant after everyone called it a night, you in the back cleaning up the stations while carmy was in the front sweeping up all the trash that people somehow left, leaning back to peek into the kitchen and seeing you bent over picking up a dropped hand towel.

sneaking up behind you and spooking you a bit "oh fuck you scared me carmen" you say coming down from your shock, carmy who couldn't hold himself together for another second just pulls you into a kiss, his tongue roaming around in your mouth as his hands find their way to your ass "you're so damn hot" he huffs lifting your skirt and flicking your skimpy underwear onto your hole.

"can i fuck you" he asks finally pulling from your lips and all you could give was a lazy yes but that's all carmy needs before he's pushing you down on your knees and unzipping his pants to pull down his underwear and whip out his aching dick ans shoving your mouth on it, working your head back and forth on his length to lube it up some more to fuck you.

"yeah just like that fuckkk" he huffs satisfied by your surprising mouth skills, taking him all the way to the shaft with his balls repeatedly slapping your chin while you gag out moans "good boy you love being daddy's good little slut" he says giving one more big thrust and shooting his cum in your mouth, pushing your head to make sure you take every drop before lifting you up back on your feet.

turning you around and putting your hands on the counter and sliding his way into your hole, your moans filling the empty kitchen quickly, he tightly grabs your throat and tilts your head up to look at him, your back arched in the most perfect way for him to get as deep as possible.

"you like this dick huh baby" he smirks "yes daddy i love it so fucking much" you whine mixed with some struggled grunts as he slams back into you again and again "im gonna fill you up and get you all big and pregnant, you want that" carmy asks while his thrusts become more erratic "mhm breed me full of your cum carmy" you yell and carmy obliges, spilling his load into your hole until it was spilling out slightly.

you both sit therefor a couple minutes catching your breath before carmy drops to his knees and spreads your cheeks open and starts eating you out, feeding off his delicious cum that he just gave you "i thought you wanted me to get pregnant" you ask smiling "i can give you another load later tonight" he smacks your ass and gets back on his feet but not with out a little souvenir aka your underwear.

taglist:@mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09 @znerac

[flippinpancakes64]

Hello 👋

If you have time could I request the cullens or just Jasper hale x reader whose really easily startled.

And like when they get scared they start crying not being there upset or anything but that's just there bodies first reaction

I love you work

The Cullens with a Reader who is easily startled

This might be the first story where I’m the reverse of this. I love sneaking up and scaring people lol

And thank you for the kind words!

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

You’re gonna need to put a bell on him

He thinks it’s funny when you jump

So he sneaks up on you all the time just to mess with you

But one time he scared you so bad that you started crying

He felt so bad

He still sneaks up on you after that

Just not as often

Or at least not after you’ve watched a scary movie

Alice:

She can be sneaky when she wants to be, but she usually announces her presence

So if she ever startles you just know that it’s an accident

One time she walked into your room to show you something

She even knocked and everything

But you were wearing headphones so you didn’t hear her

And you got spooked so bad you started crying

She spent the whole night consoling you after that

Jasper:

He doesn’t mean to scare you

He’s just a quiet person

Everyone else that he’s around are super sensitive and can feel when he enters the room

He forgets that you can’t

So he scares you a lot

He’s started standing at the entrance to the room you’re in and calling your name until you see him

He always uses his ability to make you feel better tho

Rosalie:

She’s also not one who usually sneaks into a room

She’s always wearing heels of some kind, so you can hear her coming most times

But sometimes if you’re distracted you don’t notice her coming

She always feels super bad that she’s the reason you’re crying

So she tries to click her heels more when entering the room

Emmett:

He’s a bit of a dick

He also needs a bell

He can never unintentionally scare you, since his footsteps are super loud

But when he wants to, he can be super quiet

He feels terrible the first time he makes you cry

But after you tell him that it’s just a knee-jerk reaction and not you actually being upset, he keeps sneaking

Sorry you’ll just have to live like that i guess

Esme:

Again, never intentional

And she always feels terrible

Even if you don’t cry, she never intends to scare you

And if you do start crying then she is so upset with herself

She wears tap shoes for a while

Just so that you can always hear her coming

Carlisle:

Another one who never means to catch you off guard

He’s just a very gentle person with very gentle footsteps

He always apologizes

And always consoles you when you start crying

He starts calling your name when he enters a room

Vampire! Bella:

She starts out as a prankster

She loves watching you jump

But the first time she makes you cry, she never does it again

She swears to not do it ever again and she doesn’t

She doesn’t want to be the reason why you’re crying ever

Even if you tell her it’s okay and that it’s not her fault she still blames herself

[erwinsvow]

Orrr shy reader dying of embarrassment (but not really) when rafe has a jealousy fit

- 💓

you paw at your boyfriend's arm, trying to pull him away. your face is flushed with heat at the scene in front of you—rafe pushing some random boy at the party against the closest surface, slamming his head onto a table and holding him down. there’s a crowd forming, which makes you want to curl up into a ball and cry on the floor, because there’s nothing worse than crowds.

you stand corrected, because you’re realizing there is something worse—rafe getting angry at some stranger for talking to you and choking him out. 

it’s a little silly of you, to completely ignore what everyone had been telling you about rafe, but you had done it anyways. all the talk about his temper and aggression had been easily forgotten when he treated you so sweetly—attending to your every need, changing the way he talked to make sure he didn’t spook you into thinking he was upset, being incredibly understanding when you froze up or started crying. 

the rafe others talked about was exactly that—just for others, never for you.

“y’like botherin’ innocent girls? huh?” you squirm at the sight of the boy in pain as rafe presses his head down, bending his arm behind his back. the boy tries to stay something back, but all that comes out is tortured noises. “i should break your arm. that’ll be a lesson.”

it’s all too much for you—yes, the boy wouldn’t leave you alone while rafe went to get you a drink. yes, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, not even i have a boyfriend, told to him while staring at your shoes. you still don’t think he deserves this, because he’s in a lot of pain, and your boyfriend is the one causing it.

“rafe, c’mon,” you plead again, pressing your hand to his back, trying to pull him away. your soft grip does nothing. “please, rafe, i wanna go, i don’t like this-” 

rafe loosens his grip on the stranger’s arm, letting it fall. he picks him up by the back of his shirt, pulling him to look at you. you take a step back automatically, getting frightened, but rafe nods at you to come closer. 

“s’your lucky day, asshole. my girl doesn’t like fights. tell ‘er sorry..” the boy mumbles something but rafe shakes him again, until the boy looks at you and sputters out an apology. he lets him fall back, and guides you away. you notice all the people staring, the boy probably staring daggers at rafe. you want to look back—go back and apologize yourself to everyone, even to the boy bothering you, like you’re used to doing—but rafe grips your waist tight and doesn’t even let you turn your head. 

back in his truck, you’re all shaky breaths and watery eyes. he thinks that would have made him mad once upon a time. not now.

“c’mon, stop cryin’. what’s wrong?” he sounds gentle, and you almost forget what he just did.

“y-you scared me. it was scary.”

“you got nothing to be scared of.” he doesn’t sound upset with you, but you still worry that he is, with the way your shoulders are still quivering. he knows you, knows how your little brain spins when you’re afraid he’s getting mad. “you’re my girl, i have to protect you, okay? that’s my job. just doing my job.” 

you look up at him with your wet eyes, holding eye contact for longer than you usually can, before looking back at your lap, playing with your hands.

“thank you. m’sorry, rafe.” rafe puts his hand on your chin and uses it to tilt your head up, until the two of you are looking at each other again.

“why’re you sayin’ sorry?” 

“because…if he hadn’t talked to me nothing would have happened. and i feel terrible. and your knuckles probably hurt, now.” he holds back a laugh as best as he can, but you still notice it. 

“none of that was your fault. stop apologizin’ for shit you didn’t do. my knuckles are fine.” he wipes a spilled tear away from your cheek. “m’not gonna let someone treat you like that. even if you don’t care. i fuckin’ care. got it?”

“got it,” you murmur back, looking up at him with big, hazy eyes. you don’t think you were ever upset at rafe, just upset that it was even happening. but now, in the comfort and safety of his truck, you take in the meaning of his words—how much he’d do for you, how much he cares, how you don’t have to feel bad about it. “can i come back home with you?”

“sure, kid. wanna watch a movie?”

“no, i wanna make it up to you.”