#this is gonna be the most intense fic I’ve ever written probably like

[twistedappletree]

something in the sky turns black—

start another fire, i guess.

[bbyboybucket]

Beds

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: While sharing a hotel room with Reader, Bucky has a nightmare.

A/N: Surprise. Bet y’all didn’t expect a fic from me. How longs it been? Too long. Anyways, I’m rewriting one of my old fics, or more so taking the same concept but doing it more in character. Also I think this is the first time I’ve written something where we don’t see Bucky’s pov, so I think that’s kinda fun. Btw I’m rusty so don’t judge me if it shows. Also I think this is gender neutral but I’m not sure?

Warnings: language, sexual references, nightmares, ptsd, panic attack (not too intense), allusions to some hydra stuff but nothing graphic, hurt/comfort, frenemies to lovers, Bucky is moody, the one bed trope™️, no use of “y/n”, kinda sappy

—————————

A loud sigh came from the left of you just before the elevator dinged and the metal doors creaked open. You ignored him, you chose not to engage in his passive aggressiveness. You weren’t going to accept the invitation of a petty rant hiding behind that sigh.

You walked down the hallway with Bucky stalking behind you, like an angry pitbull trailing after its owner.

“I don’t even know why we got a fucking hotel in the first place.” Bucky grumbled, and you could practically feel the weight of his eye roll, even though you couldn't see it.

“Here we go.” You muttered under your breath. “What did you want? A safe house? It’s not like we’re on some high stakes, undercover op. Anything more than a hotel would be excessive.”

“Anything more woulda had better sleeping options.” He whined. “Coulda at least got us separate rooms.”

“My god, give it a rest Bucky, you’ve been complaining all day about this.” You we’re exasperated, it was about the third time you’d heard him gripe that day.

“Well, I’m not a fan. Us sharing is the stupidest fucking idea Sam’s ever had.”

“Bitching about it isn’t gonna change anything. And, it’s not like we have to sleep together or anything, I’ll be in a whole different bed.” You said, unlocking the room door. You had been looking forward to chilling out and resting, but as soon as you entered the room, you realized that your night would be anything but restful.

“Fuck.” You laughed, humorlessly, knowing you were about to hear an endless rant. “I take that back, there isn’t different beds.”

Surprisingly that rant didn’t come. Bucky weirdly seemed calmer than he had before and merely shrugged. “‘S fine. I’ll take the floor.”

“Well, one of us can try the couch?”

“That thing could fit a toddler at best.” He gestured towards the small leather love seat as if it was the most ridiculous suggestion he had ever heard, and in all honesty, he had a point.

You pinched the skin between your eyebrows. “Sam said he booked a two person room.”

He shrugged again and then blankly said. “This is why he shoulda booked separate rooms.”

“My god Bucky, I’m not that bad of a roommate. I don’t snore, I don’t sleep walk, and it’s not like I’m gonna kill you in your sleep. It’s one fucking night. Just-“ You took a deep breath and tried to mellow out. “You can have the bed.”

“No, you can have it.”

“You’re obviously more tore up about this than me, so it’s yours. I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“No.” He refused, his eyes held an odd stubbornness. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“I literally don’t care, I’ve done it a million times. Plus, your grumpy ass probably needs some good sleep.” You half teased, trying to do the nice thing. You unzipped your bag and pulled your belongings out. “I’m gonna go change clothes.”

When you came back from the bathroom, Bucky was already in his boxers and a T-shirt, positioning a pillow and blanket on the floor.

“I told you the bed was yours.”

“Okay, and?”

“Why are you getting down there?“

“Why the fuck are you arguing?”

“Because you’re all pissy about this whole situation, so I’m trying to make your life easier and give you the bed.” You didn’t understand his defiance and odd aversion to the thing he’d been complaining about restlessly: the better sleeping option.

“I don’t want the goddamn bed, just shut the fuck up about it!” Bucky snapped. His outburst caught you off guard, he acted as if you had been purposefully pushing his buttons.

“Damn, fine.” You held your hands up in defeat, almost offended at the way he lashed out. “I get you’re trying to be all gentlemen-like but ya know, the aggressiveness defeats the purpose.”

“It’s not about being a gentlemen. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not being nice, I-“ He grunted. “Never mind I don’t owe you a fuckin’ explanation. Just get in bed.”

“I will, thank you, cause I’m tired. Especially tired of whatever the fuck is up your ass and has you so bitchy.”

You said it with full sincerity, of course you were used to bickering with Bucky but it always was in a playful manner, even when annoyed with each other, it was always friendly fire. There had been no sign of that all afternoon, Bucky was purely hostile and treating you like his greatest burden.

“You running your damn mouth and arguing isn’t helping anything.” He spat as he turned off the lights.

“Wow, sorry. Didn’t know offering you the bed was so fucking rude and offensive.”

“Shut the fuck up.” He groaned.

You muttered “fucking dick” under your breath.

“I heard that.”

As you settled into the bed, you couldn't help but roll your eyes in frustration. You found yourself pondering what you could have possibly done to provoke such a strong reaction from him. You couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't entirely about you. Maybe something else was going on and you were standing in as Bucky’s punching bag, just being the unfortunate catheter for his anger.

It didn’t matter. You had to force all the worry and aggravation out of your head because his attitude wasn’t worth losing sleep over. The last thing you need was to be exhausted on a mission.

—————————

You were jolted awake by a sudden, loud gasp, followed by a soft groan emanating from his direction. Rubbing your eyes, you opened them to find him sitting upright, his knees drawn close to his chest. He looked so small, a stark contrast to the huge stature and borderline intimidating presence you’d become so familiar with. His breathing was audible despite the distance between you, it was quick and shallow.

“Buck?” You concernedly called out to him but he didn’t answer. You then got out of bed, and flicked on the nightstand lamp.

“Bucky?” You tried again when you were closer.

Out of all the time you’d known Bucky, this was the first you’d seen him vulnerable. He was trembling harshly, hyperventilating too. He seemed equally dazed and terrified, but also distant as if he were lost in his head. You always thought Bucky had rather sad eyes but right now, the way they were widened with fear and slightly watering, took it to a whole new level.

You knew what was happening and seeing it felt like a stab to the heart. You slowly sat down in front of him, keeping space between you as to not worsen his panic.

“Buck, it’s okay.” You cooed. “Can you hear me right now?”

His gaze shifted to you, finally making eye contact, which gave you an answer.

“Okay, can you try to breathe with me? Deep breath…in 1…2…3” You exaggeratedly took large, slow inhale to lead him. “Out 1…2…3…”

You repeated the example, guiding until he finally started to follow along with you. “Good, you’re doing good. Do you know where you are?”

“….hotel. We’re on a mission?”

“Good, that’s right, good. It’s okay. You’re safe.” With a gentle and caring tone, you spoke to him, hoping to bring a sense of peace to the turmoil that was raging within him. Your heart felt heavy as you seen the pain that was laced within him, and you wished so badly that you could erase it all. You’d been scared you weren’t doing the right things, but his increasing improvement made you more confident.

“Can I touch you?”

He nodded.

You supportively placed your hand on top of his, stroking your thumb over his skin in a soothing manner. He initially flinched but didn’t pull away. “Starting to calm down now?”

“Yeah.” He released a long heavy breath and wiped the wetness off his eyelids with his free hand.

You sat silently with him, providing that tender, tactile support as he as he worked to regain his composure and steady his breathing. As he gradually calmed down, you noticed the shame creeping over him, causing his cheeks to flush red and his gaze to avert from yours.

“I didn’t want you to see this shit.” He finally said after minutes of silence.

“It’s fine-“

“Fuckin embarrassing is what it is.”

“No, stuff happens. I’m not gonna judge, ya know? I understand. I know what having panic attacks is like.” You revealed in attempt to make him feel more seen.

He slightly shook his head, at himself instead of towards to you, but he stayed silent.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” He paused for a moment, he licked his lips and hung his head even lower. “‘M used to it. Get ‘em bout every night.”

“The panic attacks?”

“Nightmares. Those sometimes comes after though.”

“Oh.” You whispered, feeling like something in you had just shattered. “About hydra?”

“Yeah.”

“You wanna talk about it?” You offered carefully.

“Nothing you should hear. My head’s a fucked up place.” He laughed humorlessly.

“Try me.”

He hesitated for a moment, you assumed he was debating on wether or not he should trust you with such a heavy part of himself. “Basically all memories. Not so much dreams, more so just stuff that’s already happened. Flashbacks I guess.”

As his mouth parted to speak, only to close again, you knew that he wasn’t finished so you waited patiently, allowing him the time he needed to gather his thoughts.

“Most of the time it’s…you know…what I’ve done. People I’ve killed. It’s….of course it’s horrible. Pretty gruesome but uh….I’ve gotten better at dealing with those, it’s still….I just get em so much that I can calm down faster now. But sometimes…it’s the shit Hydra did to me and it’s just….I’d get punished a lot. Some kinda torture or beatings, I’ll spare you the details.”

You continued to stroke his hand and stayed silent, not wanting to push him.

“But uh…they had this chair. Um, I’d get strapped down and they’d electrocute me. That’s how they’d…ya know. And I’d always end up there for a wipe after I fucked up. Or even if I didn’t. I don’t what’s worse honestly…the sick twisted shit they’d come up with or the wipe but…but reliving all that….”

“That’s fucking terrifying.”

“Yeah. Yeah, terrifying is an understatement. Sometimes…it’s hard to feel safe after that.”

His breathing started to pick up again. The cracks in his voice made it clear he was starting to get overwhelmed.

You then firmly grasped his hand, giving it a supportive squeeze. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t like to think about all that. I try to never actually. It’s like…obviously it’s…I can’t describe how fucking awful. But at the same time, if I do think about it, it’s like I’m ignoring all the evil shit I’ve done. And that’s not fair to everyone I’ve wronged. So then….if I never think about or deal with the torture….when I have to relive it in these goddamn nightmares…it just fucks me up worse. And my fucking luck is one of the few times it happens is when I’m sharing a room with someone.”

Your heart sank to the floor, your own eyes were watering at this point from getting just this small glimpse of his pain. “I’m so sorry, Buck. Hell, I don’t even know what to say right now. I wish I could do more to help.”

“You’re doing enough.“

“You didn’t deserve it, ya know? I don’t know everything that went on but you never deserved to suffer like that.”

“Half-debatable. At certain point it had to become karma for the suffering I was causing myself.” He shrugged solemnly.

“That’s not true. You had no control.”

He sighed exasperatedly, filled with a sad frustration directed at himself. He put his face in his palm. “We’ve had that conversation. You already know I don’t see it that way.”

“Yeah but I hope one day you will. And I’ll die before I stop trying to get it through your head that you’re innocent. You know you’re strong, right? So damn strong to be holding it together right now. After going through all that pain and to still be here and be a good man? To come as far as you have. I’ve never met anyone as strong as you.”

“We can agree to disagree but I appreciate it….and thanks sitting with me and calming me down and all that.”

“Of course.”

“I’m sorry about earlier. This is why…I didn’t wanna share. And this is….one…of the reasons I don’t like sleeping in a bed. Makes the nightmares worse sometimes. That’s not your fault though, so I shouldn’t’ve…I just didn’t want you to know.”

“It’s alright. I get it now.”

“I shouldn’t’ve took it out on you. I really am sorry.”

“Buck, I get why you were upset. Well kinda, I honestly can’t imagine even a fraction of what you go through.”

“Goin a little far with the pity.” He grew a tiny smirk.

“Compassion.” You corrected. “And I can’t help it, I mean…not to get all sappy, but I care about you. A lot.”

His smirk morphed into a smile and you mirrored it. You wrapped your arm around him and laid your head on his shoulder, Bucky then slowly encircled you with his own arms. You knew the hug was Bucky's way of wordlessly affirming that he cared about you too.

“Didn’t know Mr. Grumpy was capable of hugging.”

“Consider it a one time gift.”

You chuckled in response but then an idea entered your mind.

“You think it’d help if I slept with you?” You asked softly.

He gave you a cheeky grin. “Could at least take me out to dinner first.”

“You know what I meant.”

He sighed. “Not to be an ass but I literally just told you I don’t like beds?”

“No dumb ass, I mean down here.”

He tilted his head and gave a tight lipped frown. “You don’t gotta do that.”

“No. But if it’d help you feel more comfortable, then I want to.”

He didn’t answer at first but because his face had always been an open book, revealing every emotion with striking transparency, he wore an expression that was etched with heartbreaking gratitude.

“Yeah…we can try that.” He whispered, as if he was in shock.

With gentle movements, you plucked the blanket and pillow from the bed and nestled yourself beside him. As you lay towards him, your faces drew closer, until they were mere inches apart. You could feel his warm breath caressing your skin. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as you both gazed into each other's eyes, it was almost hypnotic. There was no awkwardness when it should have been expected, instead, a comforting feeling washed over you. You were consumed by excitement, tinged with a soothing calmness. Sure, it was paradoxical, but it was consuming and left you lost in the moment.

“Um…” Bucky started hesitantly but then cut himself off, he bit his bottom lip nervously.

Before you had a chance to even consider the words, they spilled from your lips. You were surprised with your own spontaneity, but the question had already slipped. “You wanna cuddle?”

It was as if you read his mind, you could practically see all the anxiety melt off Bucky before he pulled you into his chest. “This okay?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You replied, allowing yourself to sink into the comforting warmth of his body, all while listening to the soft thumps of his heart beating. It was a new intimacy that strangely felt familiar and natural, like everything had suddenly fallen into place.

You heard him yawn and you hummed fondly at how cute it was. “Goodnight, Buck.”

Tenderly, he leaned in and softly placed his lips upon your forehead, holding them there for a fleeting moment before settling his chin atop your head.

—————————

Bucky straddled your lap, his hand cupping your face as he devoured you in a passionate kiss that unraveled you with each flick of his tongue. His other hand roamed to less innocent regions of your body, exploring them with a touch that was both bold and tender.

He repositioned and pressed you down onto the couch, towering over you as his tongue continued to dance in your mouth. You were both breathless, and desiring more. He proceeded to plant kisses on your jawline before moving down to nibble on your neck.

He suddenly stopped, muttering against your skin. “You wanna move to your room? Have a little more space for this?”

“You know what’s funny?”

“Hm?”

“How before we got together, you hated beds, but now you want in my sheets every damn second.” You teased.

“Well…feels a lot more pleasant now.”

“Weird way to say ‘I’m always horny’.”

“I’m making up for 80 some years. And like you aren’t, you’re worse than me half the time.”

“Definitely worked up now, so get me to the bed and we’ll go as many rounds as you want, pervert.”

“Fuck you.” He laughed.

“I’m waiting for it.”

[starbeltconstellation]

HEYYYYY!!!

i hope you’re well ❤️! i just wanted to come on here for a second to express how grateful im currently feeling for your story. i found it on ao3 a couple of days ago (wish i would’ve found it earlier but now i got a nice chunk of chapters to read through and hyper fixate over 😄😄) and i have been obsessed ever since. genuinely, you’ve made my august with this story.

this story feels so special to me. i’m so excited and giddy everytime i open the website back up to continue reading it (mannn i never wanna finish it) and it’s like the best part of my day.

i just wanna say that you’re a mf-ing genius. a. genius.

everytime something happens in the story i genuinely GASP. LIKE OH MY GOSH. im going insane over this fic. (the theories are bubbling inside of my brain about melanie and what’s gonna happen later on, i also love reading about people’s theories too man its so nice to see how invested everybody is cuz girl I AM.)

this story, man, it’s GREAT. it’s not only very well written, which im sure everybody appreciates as the flow is so nice, but it is also exciting, intense and beautiful. every single character had been on point, mischaracterising isn’t in your vocabulary. it’s like you know these lot personally. but anyway, it is a pleasure to read, like i said, VERY exciting and entertaining. i love our girl mel so much, she is so relatable and honestly just so real 😭 her reactions to most things are so valid like, girl same! she’s amazing, i don’t think i’ve ever encountered an OC as interesting and cool and well written as her. her whole storyline is just insane, bless her having all of this pressure and stress on her too lol 😭😭😭 but what can she do ahah, i mean?! the scene with the shopkeeper telling her to go back to her world had me absolutely stunned i was SHAKING. but i do think she made the right choice, she’s so strong.

like despite the fact that she knows all the hell she will have to endure there, she DID chose to stay, which is such a sacrifice. man i just wanna hug her and say thanks (i am not in the star wars universe but …)

everybody else too though, like ahsoka, obi-wan, anakin, the clones, mace, etc.. are also really cool to see the OC interact with, this is such a comfort fic for me, genuinely. it feels like i know them personally through this fr 🥲🥲🥲

i love reading the other’s comments on your story, it’s so nice to see this community form😭 like i’ve found my people LOL

thank you for feeding our star wars and anakin obsessions with your lovely story, i can’t get enough of it i swear im making a playlist for melanie as we speak.

anyhoo, just wanted to let you know how much i love this story and how much i appreciate you putting effort into creating something we can all take comfort in <3 i hope to stay and interact a lot more as i go on about reading the story!

Ahhhhh, oh my goshhh. Thank you so, SOOOO much, my dear little commenter. Haha. 🥺🥹❤️ This message was a big surprise when I first received it (which was a while ago, I know. 😭😅 I’m really sorry for the delay in response. Life gets the best of me at times. I’m trying to catch up on my asks), because at that time, I was still stuck struggling on the final bit of my huge whopper of a chapter that is now FINALLY out. ✊😖 Haha. And I just want you to know that your comment was SO helpful and motivating to me. Like… I’m not even joking. 😭 Your comment and a handful of other loyal readers (like my dear @ensomniaa ! 😌😆❤️) are probably the main reason I was able to trudge through my writer’s block and depression to get out the next chapter. So, just… thank you. 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write out such a long and in depth comment with such gushing words about my work and about how I’ve been writing the Melakin romance dynamic. It makes me feel like my writing isn’t half bad. Haha.

I always like to take my time responding to comments, because I feel I should always take the time and care to write out a detailed response that isn’t just copy pasted. You all take the time out of your day to comment to me, so it’s only fair I do the same! 🥺���💕💕 So… my point is… I’m SO sorry this response took so long. 😭 I hope the wait time won’t have discouraged you from messaging again in the future. They truly do bring me such a big smile. And while I might not get to asks or comments immediately—ALL of my reader ducklings WILL eventually see a response. 😭💕❤️ I have made that my life’s goal. Lol.

Now, onto the ask! 😁✨💕 I’ll put the rest under a read more.

I’m soooo happy to hear that you’re so obsessed with my story and that it made your August! 😁✨❤️ Haha, it’s always exciting when I see someone new has stumbled over my fic. And I feel you with that hyper fixation. 😭✊ I’m BEGGING for my brain to give the SW hyper fixation back to me so I can churn out chapters at the speed of sound like when I did first starting this massive project. Lol. 🫠 So far… it’s still not working. But don’t worry! I shall NEVER abandon this story. I swearrrr, this thing will be my magnum opus. 😭✊Loool.

The fact my writing makes you giddy??? 😭 The fact it makes you theorize (which I ADORE when my readers do and ramble in the comments so I can muah-ha-ha to them. 😈😈💕😂) and gasp out loud?? 😭😭 The fact that you ENJOY reading through the different comments and seeing other readers’s theories and reactions?? 😭🥹💕❤️❤️❤️ You are what us writers call a rare GEM, dear reader. 🥺🥹❤️ To not only LEAVE a comment, but also just how you seem to genuinely enjoy commenting/reading other commenters’s thoughts because it feels like a fan community?? (And how SWEET to say I’m a big enough writer to have a little community. 🫠 I’m cryingggg. 😭❤️❤️) The fact you think I’m… a genius?? 🫣🥺😭❤️❤️❤️ (Idk about that, but I’ll put aside my anxiety issues. 😌 It is a lying liar who liessss).

Thank you. Thank you from the very BOTTOM of my heart. Idk what else I can say besides that, because rare reader gems like you keep us starving writers chugging along. 😭✊❤️

I’m SOOO glad you feel like everyone is in character. 😭❤️❤️ I worried about that a LOT. Especially for Anakin and the clones. There’s just a certain way about them that you have to get right, or they become 2-dimensional if you don’t write their little quirks and ticks. And I LOVE getting to explore the clones’s and Mel’s sibling-like relationship. 😭 I based most of their personalities on how they act around Mel off my annoying brother (affectionate 😌💕😂). I’m also so happy you feel the Jedi are also in character as well, and that it feels like a comfort to read them, like you’re learning about them along with Mel. 🥺💕 That was actually a lot of the idea with this fic (besides me living vicariously through Mel to romance Anakin, of course 👀😂❤️) over how I would slowly write scenes to SHOW the audience the misconception about the Jedi/their culture/certain characters. I didn’t want to PREACH to them. I wanted to present them with the evidence that maybe the Jedi aren’t “repressive” and “emotionless 🙄🤢” as they might’ve been led to believe by a big chunk of the fandom’s harsh perception. It would be like it was happening in time with Anakin as his thoughts change into something better and less self centered.

And I HAVE actually received a comment on Wattpad from a reader that my fic helped change their minds about Mace and the Council! 🥰🥰❤️ And it was just… such a joy to hear. 😭❤️ That’s the idea with this fic. I hope to reach across the aisle towards EVERYONE—maybe anti Jedi fans will read my work and have their minds changed about their culture. Maybe someone who despises Anakin to the bone will read my fic on a whim and slowly grow to care about him/see the humanity underneath the surface, just like Mel has. And maybe by the END of this fic… I’ll have convinced some people that the Jedi are not at fault for their own genocide by “failing” Anakin—because the truth is that it was HIS choice. Maybe by the end of this fic, there’ll be fans who’ll read the work and grow to see that you can love a character while still criticizing them/knowing they’re in the wrong (ie; Anakin 😔💔), while ALSO still acknowledging that he went through such horrible trauma as a kid while a slave on Tatooine… but it still DOESN’T absolve him or give him the right to hurt others just because he’s hurting himself.

That’s what this fic is all about, after all. GENUINE growth and change. Not placating a man by changing a few moments that he won’t have to go through in the timeline that will suddenly make him all “warm and fuzzy inside” and see the light. TRUE redemption and change means that Anakin will have to grow and ADMIT he was wrong while not becoming defensive when his actions (*cough* the Tuskens *cough*) are brought to light. Essentially, I’m trying to “Zuko-ify” him. (Loool, I know. Pretty high hopes for myself there. 😭😂❤️)

I’m also soooo happy you love and relate to Melanie so much. 🥹❤️❤️ Almost all readers have told me similar things, and it’s so wonderful to know that I’ve made a character that has been accepted by a small portion of the “SW/Anakin fandom”. 😆😁💕❤️ Mel came about when I was one day reading over an isekai story and just… not being able to fully immerse myself, because the OC’s reactions just didn’t seem realistic to me. 😭 And so I remember sitting down and imagining how I would react in such a situation (immediate freak out/think I was dreaming/would run in terror from Anakin’s hot ass at every opportunity 😌❤️‍🔥😂), and then that’s how Melanie Bains came into being! Haha. ❤️😁

So, while Mel IS somewhat of a stand-in for the audience (it IS an isekai fic after all 😭🤷‍♀️), it was still very important to me to make her three dimensional and—while yes, very relatable—also make sure she became her own character who could grow into herself. So a hero’s journey was important, along with giving Mel an antagonist (The Shopkeeper) separate from Anakin’s antagonist (Palpatine), because it was SOOOO important to have Mel have her own character arc/story AWAY from Anakin. It was important that Anakin wasn’t ALL she was about. Mel has friends (Ahsoka/the clones), she has her own plan she’s dealing with to try and save the galaxy while barely giving Anakin a second thought besides terror at first, and most importantly—Melanie is NOT begging Anakin to change. That was soooo important to me. She doesn’t have TIME to beg him to change. There’s too much at stake already, and if Anakin changed FOR Mel, it’s not even true change in the first place. Instead, as you’ve probably guessed from my latest chapter, Mel is INSPIRING him to change himself, because of the qualities about her he is coming to admire which in turn makes him take a look at his own selfish actions. This is always where I think “bad boy/I can fix him” writers get things lost in translation. It’s not true redemption if they change FOR the girl, because—as the Marvel movie Shang-Chi has recently shown us 🥶—if the girl ever dies… then the “bad boy/villain” goes right back to being evil. 😭🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️ What REAL redemption would be is meeting someone you grow to love who INSPIRES you to become a better version of yourself—not FOR them—but because you want to become someone like them. You want to stand by their side in the light and feel proud.

Anyway, I feel like I’ve ranted a lot. 😭😂❤️ But I just wanted to thank you soooo much again for your beautiful words that were so kind and truly brought a ray of light to my dreary days! 😭😭❤️❤️❤️ I only hope my long response time doesn’t discourage you from writing me messages in the future. 😅😓😭🫠 I’m so sorry again for the long wait.

But I have ADORED rereading your comment these past few days while I’ve been writing out my response. It’s so thoughtful and long and in depth and I lovveeee itttt. 😭❤️❤️❤️ THIS is what feeds our writer brains. Haha.

A playlist sounds awesome! 💕💕💕💕💕 I already made one for Anakin and Mel and the Melakin romance, as you can see from my last response. But I would still ADORE getting to know songs that you think fit with my fic and Mel and Anakin’s journey! 😭❤️❤️ If you ever do make it, please hit me up and send a linkkk! 👀👀🙏

Thank you so much again for letting me know my writing brought you such comfort. 😭💕 I hope you’ll stay and interact more as well! 😭❤️ I always love hearing theories or getting a comment to see a reader is rereading or that two readers are discussing something about my fic together. Haha. 😄✨❤️

And so, I suppose I’ll leave it here! I ADORE you and love you so much, dear reader. I am picking you up and hugging you like a stuffed animal. (Glomp!) 🤗🫂

I hope to hear from you again soon! 🥺💕 I’m so sorry again for the wait. 😭

And now… off to reply to four more asks. Lol. ✊

Gotta blast! 🏃‍♀️💨✍️👩‍💻

-

To any readers that stumble across this and are curious enough to check out my fic:

-

Tags:

@ensomniaa

@heartfairy

@fangirlteallie

@lemons-2-limes

@shoniwake

@silverwoodj

@lexskiss

@selenaftmarvel

[gothsuguru]

HI HELLO IM BREAKING INTO UR INBOX W TEARS IN MY EYES…………… 😭😭 i just read all ur tags on my sugu fics and when i tell you i CRIED YOURE SOO??? so so SO sweet and thoughtful????? I HOPE YOUR DINNER WAS THE TASTIEST EVER bc ur tags made my whole weekend <333333 literally every single thing u said made me go YES YOU GET IT like… im just gonna mention a couple things phsjdhs IM REALLY SOSO GRATEFUL <333 

FIRST OFF just . everything u said abt my writing in general??? is soooo unbelievably kind??? T_T like abt the setting and prose and etc!!! i got soooo happy every time u said u felt like u were really There LIKE THAT MEANS SO MUCH…. ”it’s like i’m living inside your words” ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME </3 sob. thank u :’< 

and aaa im so glad u liked all three fics even though theyre a bit different!! 🥺🥺 i just rlly feel like u understood what i was trying to convey w certain characters and lines and stuff and it means soooo much??? SUGU IS A DEVOTED LOVERBOY YESYESYES U GET IT!!!!! U UNDERSTAND!!!! ”devoted” & ”intense” are the PERFECT words for him i cant tell u how much i agree. AND SOO NURTURING YES WE’RE SO LINKED he’s so mother he’s so husbandwife <333 IM JUST NODDING ALONG TO EVERYTHING U SAY like genuinely. food as love was the theme for that particular fic hehe im so glad u noticed!!! 

AAAA AND UR TAGS ON THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC ……. thats probably my fave sugu fic out of the ones ive written ngl i was sooo happy to see that u liked it 😭😭😭 U GET IT U DO… like their love could be platonic or romantic but it doesnt rlly matter bc they just love each other sooo much. HE’S A GHIBLI BOY YES i’m so glad u see the vision <33

IM SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG i just need you to know that i see you and i love you and i appreciate you <3333 tysm for reading my silly lil fics and taking the time to write such thoughtful tags!!! 🥺🥺 im tucking them all away into my heart hehe. wishing u the most wonderful weekend ever !!!! mwah mwah mwah <33

OMG PLEASENDNDNDND your writing is literally SO stunning methinks you have the best rendition of suguru out there… like it’s so TELLING how much you love suguru (and satoru bc TRUST i’m gonna be in the tags of those fics too) and also i just really like how much personality you give to the reader as well! like everyone just is so fleshed out & 3-dimensional like they don’t feel like Just Characters In A Story they feel like real people & honestly magnificent writing to me always makes me feel like i’m watching a movie - and your writing does that! as i’m reading i’m envisioning everything like a movie & that’s the best compliment i can give fr <3 again it’s a testament to your beautiful dialogue, scene setting, storytelling, and YES PROSE!!!!! THAT’S THE WORD I WAS LOOKING FOR THE ENTIRE TIMENFNFNFNF your PROSE is beautiful 😭 it’s very COZY & PRETTY i love it

& OMG I WAS ABLE 2 UNDERSTAND BC YOU CONVEY EVERYTHING SO WELL!!!!! i was never confused i was Always In It <3 AND YES YOU SPOKE #REAL bc sugu is the ULTIMATE devoted loverboy… & i love how his intensity is just innate to him like he can’t help but love fully and with his whole entire mind, heart, body, & soul! and i also like how it isn’t an uncomfortable intensity or overbearing in a bad way - it’s just like a really nice weighted blanket and i LOVE that. & omg i’ve come to love food motifs so much………. whether it be hunger for something, cannibalism to get to the core of someone’s being, peeling clementines as an act of selflessness/love for someone else, or just sweet soft feeding your lover in bed bc you want them to eat well… that’s some delicious fucking food. & YESSSSSS nurturing caretaker sugu my beloved………. i think i read somewhere i forgot if it was just a random post here but someone said that suguru has such natural paternal instincts and that’s so real… like he’s mother he’s father he’s husbandwife he’s Transcended everything… the ultimate DadMom of the group… i just know his tote bag has bandaids, water, & snacks for everyone and he’s just the One you go to talk to about anything (again just like your sugu <3) OH AND ALSO i really like how devoted the reader is too! i Myself am a devoted lovergirl so i Feel seen

THE CHILDHOOD BESTIES FIC WAS SO FUCKING &/@/$/&//@/&:! why’d i get transported to a quaint town w the boy i’ve been in love since childhood and now he grew into a wondrous handsome man… trust that for Me if it involves sugu i’m immediately going romantic mode like i’m sorry i’m so Desperately In Love with him i can’t be normal <3 that fic is so fucking rich and filled w real problems that teens/ppl in their twenties face! the fear of the unknown but it feels like anything is possible and doable with someone like suguru by your side! AND YES HE IS SOOOOO HAKU-CODED TO ME (my first bf since i was a kid… coincidence? methinks not…) and also i reallllllllly love your fic of suguru going to reader’s apartment to declare war but he instead goes & has tea & cookies instead… i think i read that fic ages ago on ao3 and i could never find it again so it’s so Poetic Cinema that i found it here and that it was YOU and that you created so many more amazing fics… like i’m so well fed omfg & i’m super excited for anything you have coming out next!

AND OMG IT’S ABSOLUTELY MY PLEASURE! THANK YOU FOR CREATING SUCH BEAUTIFUL STORIES THAT I WILL KEEP TUCKED IN MY BRAIN & HEART <3 i will never forget you twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat… for as long as i live 🫡☝🏼 BUT FR!!!!! thank you for creating such wonderful premises for stories! i’m ecstatic to read anything you come out with next <3 mwah mwah mwah

^ me when reading your fics

[maruyaaya]

Hey Imeda! I am Low! I read your Pandalily fic recently and I adored it! I saw that you haven't had this account long and since I can't peruse/stalk your account to satiate my curiosity I've decided to inquire here :) I hope you don't mind.

Do you have any specific Pandora or Lily headcanons you can share? Do you have any WIPs in the works? Do you have any songs you are listening to on repeat right now? What are the top 5 ships that are giving you the most insistent brain rot currently?

And finally, I am done pestering you and I'm wishing you a day full of wonder <3

OMG HI LOW!! yes absolutely i am always happy to talk about pandalily they are my beloveds <3 yeah i set up this acc relatively recently bc i wanted a fresh start for my ao3 and i haven’t really had the chance to do much on it yet (i am unfortunately a full time university student) but i am so happy you sent an ask bc i am always excited to talk to ppl!! feel free to send more asks or even dm me for whatever reason!!

i’m gonna do the pandalily headcanons last bc i have so many of them, but firstly do i have any wips:

oh i ABSOLUTELY have wips. i actually am the worst at starting wips and never finishing them, but as for main ones i’m working on rn, i have a prongsfoot wip that’s currently around 50k words 75% done, a marauders x daisy jones & the six au, a (you have to hear me out on this one okay bc i know nobody ships this but me BUT HEAR ME OUT) friends with benefits sirius x barty fic that’s about half done, and another pandalily fic that is basically just taking shape but i don’t have much to say about it yet (im actually just the worst multishipper ever and i ship my favourite character, sirius, with every single person who dares to so much as breathe in his direction)

songs on repeat

ok so i am totally willing to just link my spotify, in fact: here and i have a pandalily playlist in the works here, but specifically, i’ve had never love an anchor by the crane wives, three by sleeping at last, and funeral by phoebe bridgers on loop over and over as well as the entire daisy jones & the six album.

top 5 ships giving me brainrot

1. PRONGSFOOT!! prongsfoot is forever in my head as one of my fav ships ever

2. pandalily! i absolutely adore their dynamic and the little version of them that i have created in my head

3. rosekiller. i think this is a relatively unpopular opinion but i am so intrigued by their dynamic and i’m currently in the process of drafting a LONG fic about them but i haven’t done much work on it yet

4. dorlene. UGH MY OG ENEMIES TO LOVERS i am forever obsessed with them and i can’t believe i haven’t written them yet

5. normally i’d have jegulus around here i think but currently i’ve been having intensive brainrot about the idea of a dynamic between barty and sirius. i think they’re two characters who are very similar and yet hate each other and i think it’s really interesting to explore a two sides of the same coin dynamic between them and idk i have a lot of thoughts about them i could absolutely rant for a very long time abt the sirius/barty dynamic i have in my head

bonus bc it isn’t a marauders ship but my favourite ship of ALL TIME is soukoku, aka dazai/chuuya from bungou stray dogs. i like them a Normal amount (i’m crazy abt them)

and now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, here are a few of my pandalily headcanons that i can think of off the top of my head

first of all, my fav pandalily song is trouble by halsey. it’s literally them. that’s their dynamic to me

pandora’s much more open about her oddness and want for Blood while lily is more closed off about it. it’s still there—absolutely still there—but pandora kind of awakens it in her and helps her to realize that it’s okay to show that part of her

they met through james and regulus and often go on double dates with them

they absolutely get matching tattoos. probably ethel cain lyrics or something abt the inherent eroticism of cannibalism idk

my favourite headcanon is that pandora and evan are twins and evan tries to get lily the shovel talk when he meets her for the first time, but actually just ends up half in love with her bc he thinks she’s so cool

speaking of, evan and lily joke that they’re going to run away and elope so that evans name could be evan evans and pandora thinks it’s the funniest thing ever

bonus headcanon that evan is the older twin by a few minutes but pandora tells everyone that she is and he doesn’t correct her

they watched bones and all together and every 5 minutes they would whisper “this is so us” to each other

they absolutely LOVE baking together. they do it at least once a week and they make cookies or cupcakes or something and decorate them like pinterest photos and give them to their friends

they have two shared pinterest boards. one is really cutesy baking ideas and cute room decor inspo and the other is full of quotes abt cannibalism and blood and eating each other whole. they treasure both of these boards equally

lily is the biggest taylor swift fan ever and she makes pandora listen to her songs together. pandora moderately enjoys taylor swift, but will listen to her constantly to please lily. lily’s favourite song is this is me trying and pandora likes cowboy like me

they give each other flowers all the time (notably lilies ofc). pandora can’t stand to watch them die and always presses them and keeps them all in a little notebook with the date they got them

they’re obsessed with biting each other. like not even just during sex, they do it all the time. they’ll be watching a movie and pandora will just reach over and bite lily’s shoulder for fun

their favourite show to watch together is hannibal. they’re crazy about it. they rewatch it all the time to an unhealthy extent

they often say really strange declarations of love to each other in front of other people like “i want to eat you down to the bones” or “i want to rip open your skin and crawl inside your kidneys and sleep in there” and everyone around them just laughs nervously and can’t tell if they’re serious or not

i probably rambled much more than i needed to but i am always very excited to talk!!

[stayxlix]

I've been saving off the deep end to read once I had a break between exams

BRUH THAT STORYYYYYYY!! Pls don't mind my analysis and play-by-play reactions😩

You're writing style is so good I love the descriptions and how you manage to make everything so vivid. District 7's description was so on point, I really like how I could visualize it.... The tavern, the roads, the forests, the people...

"Cold rings on his fingers pressed into bare skin" goodbye I'd fold so fast✋✋✋ like yes he's a stranger but BRO

"He hesitantly brought his thumb up to run it over your bottom lip," I- 😀

I'm barely 2k into this story and already feeling a scream creeping up my throat.

"Without another word or giving you the chance to respond, he turned to go." Now excuse me dear sir✋ Get your outer district ass back here👹

How are you gonna make out w/ me then just dip💀 survival ig but STILL

"....so many eyes on you, permanently associating you with your father and his regime," SO WELL WRITTEN UGH CHEF'S KISS

I love the mc (main character) so much. They've won my favour so fast, uncharacteristically so. This is the kind of 'y/n' that we need to see more often! The change, the hero.

"A life with him certainly wouldn't involve tight corsets and suffocating lies." How are we so sure about the latter sweetie👀

But mc is better than me I'd probably be going there (district 7) every night in hopes of seeing him. But the chances are low considering he was on the run😔 Rational thinking ftw I guess?

"He had probably already forgotten about you." NAURRR😭 (I could never be this mature... To admit this to myself in such a situation? Nope)

"...followed by the glass walls of the hall shattering to pieces around you." Ok THIS PART IN THE STORY✋ Loveeee the build up of tension. I feel like I'm there omg.

"six..seven..maybe eight figures dressed in all black with bandana...." OOOH👀👀👀 !!! STRAY KISS WOO

"a group of your father's guards run up and make contact with the boys, tossing a couple of them their own guns."😨 HUH? OMG WHAT???? Betrayal of the century purrr😻

"The boy who had kissed you in the alley two weeks ago." GOODBYE CBFNFNFBFV

I should've seen this coming butt I'm FLABBERGASTED

Let's goooo😩😩✋ Also thank you for making it brown hair Felix, like THANK YOU😋 (btw this ask is so long sorryyyy)

"You swear you saw the faintest hint of a smirk... " OFFICIALLY HOLLERING RN AARGHHHH

No bc I hope he kidnaps mc😘 and Jisoo ofc😻 let's go live in the trenches 😋

NO the guards ruined it😒 Can they duck off istg

"Were you protecting him? " Dgfhgkhmkdxnh

"You mouthed "go" and if you had blinked you would have missed the nod he gave you in return." I need a minute🤒 A longgggg minute to process this

"Why would the boys risk their lives to send a message? " THIS IS SUCH AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SKZ HELP

Like that's LITERALLY THEM

"As far as he knew, you were just like the rest of them." Bro this story is INTENSE

On that more I will be leaving for now, I need to eat and process this story before continuing it is so bloody good

Again, I'm so sorry for how long this is

omg so i just want to start by saying that from the bottom of my heart i am so touched by this. i seriously think i re-read it at least 7 times and i can’t even begin to express how much it means to me that you took the time out of your day to go through and immerse yourself into the story the way you did.😭💕 the play-by-play literally had me giggling to myself like a CHILD lmao you’re actually so funny like i wish i could hire you to narrate my life.😂

this is the first/only fic i’ve ever written and you complimented some of the parts i was most insecure about without even knowing it and i just. thank you.🥹💕 like your comment about the mc i could actually cry. and it’s always nice to find another dark hair felix stan because as much as i love the blonde (and i really do) i just couldn’t imagine him any other way here.

please don’t ever feel the need to apologize for how much you write this is what i LIVE for and it gives me so much motivation to continue the story. you could write an entire novel and i would happily sit down and read every single word.😊 i hope you got something good to eat (and that your exams went well) and i hope the rest of your day/night has been just as good as this made mine.💕💕💕

[camgoloud]

🌿💝💥💌

🌿 how does creating make you feel?

oh god. well honestly i feel like it depends very strongly on what exactly it IS that i’m creating… sometimes when i’m writing a character study or an intimate moment i feel intensely vulnerable and open, which is of course both terrifying and extremely cathartic… and then sometimes when i am writing humorous scenes or Cursed Concepts i feel so evil and wicked and pleased with myself the whole time. so which emotions i'm experiencing while i’m actually in the moment of creation can really be all over the map… but of course i can say that once i’ve actually finished creating something i always feel proud of myself! even at times when the piece didn’t come together as well as i was hoping it would in the end, there’s definitely something to be said just for that pure “oh i made a WHOLE NEW THING” sense of satisfaction :)

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

i’ll be honest, i really thought that Do my friends think I’m dying? (or do I just need to go to sleep?) would get about 20 hits total… i mean, it’s a recursive fanfic (inspired by the excellent good old fashioned lover boy) about an extremely minor ted lasso character with an unintelligible summary and the tags “yes I’ve written a reddit thread as a fic” “sorry except i’m not”; i was really just writing it to have a good time (and oh my god, did i have the BEST time…). but the response to it was actually quite warm, and MUCH larger than i was expecting! and not to brag lmao but i got Many compliments in the comments section about how convincing my various insufferable reddit personalities were… i guess i’ve found my calling! i’ve been meaning to write another reddit fic ever since, actually—it really was a blast

💥 find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

least kudos’d by raw numbers would be my most recent one, Philosophical Shifts in Teixcalaanli Xenocontact! (although i wouldn’t necessarily call it my least warmly received—the kudos-to-hits ratio on that one is actually fairly good, it’s just a very new fic for a very small fandom! but i didn’t go through and calculate K:H ratios on everything, so i’ll just talk about this one.) i think that with this fic i really nailed the voice of the narrator, three seagrass—from her speech patterns to the way she thinks about the world; her love for poetry to her partially-worked-through tendency to exoticize the foreign and the new to the detriment of everyone involved. she was a lot of fun to write and i’d love to try my hand at her again soon!

💌 share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

agh okay i’m always the WORST person in the world to talk to about wips because i will happily spin you elaborate tales about all the Concepts i’m currently working on and then you will just never hear about them again… but here’s a snippet from something for stranger things that I’ve been tinkering with off and on for AGES and really do hope to get finished… sometime in the next few years… i’m calling it “things that we were working on,” and em, this one goes right out to you: you know exactly what you did. <3

“Hold the phone,” Eddie interrupts, earning himself a glare and yet another eyebrow twitch, but he doesn’t even care to savor the rise he’s getting out of Higgins this time, because he is actually, genuinely desperate for an answer to the question he’s about to ask. “You’re telling me Steve Harrington is gonna be here? In detention?” This day really is just shaping up to be something else, isn’t it. Steve Harrington in detention? Hell had better not have frozen over yet; Eddie hates the fucking cold. “What’d he do?” 

Or, probably more accurately: what’d he do that they didn’t let him just get away with this time?

[fic writing asks here!]

[aranarumei]

B, F, K?

thought abt going thru all of my fics and felt an intense bout of decision fatigue so I’ve decided to limit things to mostly a3, which I think is probably the more interesting way to answer, anyways. I ramble so this is a bit lengthy.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

oh yeah. I am Not Immune to Projecting Sometimes. I know I just said I’d talk abt a3 but this bakugou-centric fic was just me drawing heavily on my personal experiences with like. complicated family dynamics and it seemed to go okay so. I’m pleased with it mostly bc i felt like the conclusion wasn’t very… wish fulfillment? which is nice sometimes, but not what i wanted. 

on the a3 side, the Specifics are rather different but dress for success was definitely inspired by conversations i’ve had about gender and presentation before... but the detail drawn most from real life was probably juza’s thoughts about his smile, particularly that he’s just a guy that. Doesn’t Smile. As a kid i was 100% the sort of like. Person who has never smiled ever to my classmates and that made me later in life believe that i was just like. Incapable of smiling properly. I smile lots nowadays tho :) 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favourite dialogue scenes you've written and explain why you're proud of it.

[LUKE] It’s not. Besides, when I wake up, won’t you be there? On the other end of sleep, and “ Good night,” is a “Good morning”. You don’t need to follow me into everything, as long as you know you’ll see me again. [S] “Good night” is a very strange greeting, then. [LUKE] Maybe so. More than a greeting, I think it feels like a promise. 

clockwork heart is. my favorite play. it may even be my favorite event. (tough competition w/ captain’s sky pirates + my master’s mesmerized by mystery for me. and nocturnality.) 

this snippet is really just. it's kind of barely a fic. the whole post is not that long. I had Lots Of Thoughts about how luke, at the end of a clockwork heart, says, “So it’s just good night for now.” it was, to me, just such a perfect encapsulation of the idea that this separation was temporary and not forever, even though they were both saying goodbye, so I wanted to write something that expanded on that idea a little. i think it's effective, seeing as how I get more emotional about the ending, now, and the script format forced me to pretty much rely on dialogue alone.

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with? 

this made me look at myself and be like… huh, i think i’ve decreased in angst as i’ve grown older. interesting.

anyways i think mine would be…  there’s this backstage for nocturnality (so like, spoilers for that) where azuma is transported into the world of nocturnality and like. meets with kota after the ending of the play. and he makes this comment about like. oh, I prefer tasuku to kota, after all. 

and it just like. I’ve never stopped thinking abt that. so I had the sketches of an idea where it’s like. azuma is dropped into that world only like… he Stays There for wayyyy longer than a couple of hours. and u get very fun stuff of like. kota projects his feelings about reo onto azuma and azuma kind of does the same, and the like… lines blur a little badly and they probably lash out at each other somewhat. and it’s a bit complicated, since at this point in time azuma and tasuku have grown closer but they still don’t know each other Perfectly. and he’s not even here but there’s a guy with his face who is Almost Like Him (and how well can you be sure you knew tasuku, too…) all while you’re also slowly losing your sense of self because like, in this world, “reo” is the real existence?  there was also gonna be some kind of drama with the vampire society I think… since azuma would actually be like Human and not. Turned Yet. 

anyways it never rly went anywhere bc it would have to be a lengthy multichap and i’ve got a slow track record with those. i need to finish at least One. these are all also just like… vague concepts that i hadn’t fleshed out into proper plot beats, so it requires a Lot of Work that i just. don’t want to do currently. but i think it could be like. really fun.

ask me about fics & stuff!

[dirtysvthoughts]

okayy now imagine going to party (looking hot is a must) and ordering your favorite drink,, your friend nudges you to look at the side to where mingyu leans against the wall. his intense gaze on your body, his strong arms gripping the beer in his hands and a sinister inviting smirk towards your direction.

hhsbskahsksbk can you tell im going feral?!?!? 😭😭😭

AHHHHH YES A MINGYU ASK, WE DID IT JOE! 😆 i feel like in order to make it in the svt smut world, you at least gotta have one mingyu ask or fic written - so, momma i made it LOL💀💀 thanks for the lovely ask! 😘

a/n: i feel like i make my casual asks into whole drabbles that require a word count and tags lol, but i wanna give y’all as much detail as possible so you can feel things 😭😭 if they are a bit long, do let me know and that’ll be something i work on for the future! but for now, it’s time for mingyu horknee hours 😈😈😈

i’m pretty sure we’ve all seen those photos of gyuhao in busan (i’ll drop them for reference), and whew chileeeee- both of them looked so hot, so this ask is gonna be based off that!

imagine going to busan with friends for a few days, and during the weekend, you guys decide to hit up a popular club in the city. every single one of you saved your hottest outfit just for this night, and the moment you guys step through the doors, everyone has their eyes on you. you know you look good as your dress is hugging your body in all the right places.

as you guys order rounds of drinks at the bar, laughing and enjoying each other’s company, one of your friends gently nudges you and points in the direction of the nearest wall to you guys. your eyes widen as you take in the sight standing in front you: the most attractive, beautiful man you’ve ever seen - his gorgeous tan skin, his height, his sculpted muscles peeking through his short sleeve shirt- he looks too good to be true, like a greek god.

he holds a lager in his hand, and is dressed head to toe in one of the finest luxury brands - was it burberry? prada? versace? you couldn’t tell from where you were sitting, but the thought of such an attractive and expensive person sharing eye contact with you is enough to get your legs crossing. tightly.

“he’s been eyeing you for a while now, y/n,” your friend giggles tipsily, as you silently wave at him. he smirks back at you and waves back, your face automatically flushing and turning away at his simple, yet insanely hot gesture. “i’m jealous, he’s probably the best looking man in this entire club.”

you get up from your seat at the bar, approaching this mystery man, refusing to break eye contact with him.

“y/n… where are you going?” your friend whines at missing your touch, nearly falling out of their seat as they reach for you. “you were my support..”

“i’ll be back in a minute, there’s - just something i wanna do first,” you say as you move away from the bar and finally approach the man. you cross your arms and smirk at him, trying to look unbothered when you were already turned on.

“you finally came,” he takes a sip of his lager and puts it back down on the table next to him. “i’ve been craving you next to me since the minute i saw you,” he says as his eyes move down to you body, melting at the thought of how your breasts looked in your tight ass dress and getting hard at the thought of your boobs out of it.

his words go immediately to your core and it takes everything in you not to moan right then and there. “funny how you’ve been craving me - but yet, we don’t even know each other’s names,” you say as you boldly approach him closer, nearly chest to chest.

“mingyu,” he bends down and whispers into your ear. “think you can tell me yours if we move someplace a little less crowded? i rented a section in the corner.”

you take his arm and wrap it around your waist, smirking at him as he watches in arousal.

“lead the way.”

[falloutmelody]

wildest dreams | tim speedle

pairing: tim speedle x reader [romantic pairing] [was written with a female reader in mind but no pronouns are used, so anyone can read it regardless of gender identity and preferred pronouns!!]

fandom: csi: miami

little summary: as the newest member of the csi team, working at ridiculous hours of the day is still very new to you. but getting to see a certain sarcastic coworker that you just so happen to have a crush on makes things a little easier to adjust to. a crush that is almost certainly unrequited. right?

content warnings: um,,, nothing major??? a guy is a creep to the reader at one point, tim is snarky as always, there’s swearing?? also bc this is csi, there’s mention of death and crime but it’s not focussed on super heavily!! no graphic descriptions or anything!! no spoilers for the show or anything either!!

word length: about 3000 i think??

this isn’t the best thing i’ve ever written lmao, but it’s a start?? idk, i’m just going through a csi phase and adore speed so i figured why not write this?? i apologise in advance to the wonderful people on here who write actually decent x reader fics for speed bc my work is gonna pop up with yours now and that’s not fair, you deserve better bc your work is amazing

requests are still open!! you can find my fandoms, rules and characters i’ll write for here!! please don’t hesitate to send something in if you want something!!!

[fair credit, gif is not mine!! if the creator finds this and wants credit, please message me and i’ll add it in!!]

Miami never closes.

That was a sentence that you’d heard from one Horatio Caine countless times, to the point wherein it was almost ingrained in your brain. And it wasn’t like he was wrong. The city of Miami seemed to always be alive, whether it was four o’clock in the morning or eight o’clock at night.

And that was how you’d managed to find yourself at a crime scene at six thirty-three am.

There was a soft wind in the air as you got out of the now very familiar silver Hummer, the gravel on the floor crunching harshly under your feet. A cacophony of voices, radio feedback and that accursed gravel filled the air, hitting you almost immediately as you tried to get a good bearing on your surroundings. This was the outskirts of the city. A former industrial estate, home to nothing more now than distant memories of what it once was and now, the body of a dead woman.

“C’mon, newbie. Work to do.” The soft but impatient tone of your new co-worker Eric Delko brought you out of your studying, causing you to glance over at the man. You mumbled a soft apology, grabbing your silver kit box from the back seat as quickly as you could.

“Ignore him. The clubs will probably be closed by the time we’re done here, Delko, sorry.” Another male voice caught your attention, causing you to look back, seeing that you and Delko had now been joined by another member of the lab that you recognised. Tim Speedle.

Ever since you’d officially joined the Miami Dade crime lab a few weeks back, Tim had probably been the one that you’d worked with the most, due to your speciality being primarily Trace. And honestly, you liked working with him.

No, that was probably an understatement. You really, really liked working with him.

Sure, at first, you had been a little intimidated by him. Tim was pretty well known around the lab for having a personality that was more on the blunt side, after all, which was something that you’d learned very quickly. The man liked sarcasm, and there seemed to be some kind of dryness to almost everything he came out with. But you’d quickly grown to like that. It made the often rather monotonous work that you all often found yourselves doing more entertaining.

Plus, although you could never admit it, cause you were truthfully worried that it was unprofessional of you to do so and cause you’d convinced yourself from day one that you weren’t his type, he was very, very pretty to look at with those intense dark eyes of his.

So, yeah. You had… a slight crush on the man and were very grateful to see him. Not that you didn’t like Delko or anything, cause you sincerely did. It was just… nice to see Tim too. The fact that you’d have two people with you that you knew pretty well at this point helped with your slight uncertainty in your stomach that seemed to always be there when you approached a new scene.

Eric gave a small scoff at Tim’s dry remark, lightly hitting the man in the upper arm. “Shut up, Speedle. I just don’t appreciate being called out in the middle of the night. Shall we?”

After taking a quick moment to ensure that you both had everything that you needed from the Hummer and that the car was locked, you and Eric soon followed after Tim as he led you towards a large grey building that had presumably been white at one point and honestly looked identical to all the others that were around. How did they tell them apart, back when people had actually worked here? It wasn’t like there were any kind of clear, identifying markings on them.

The silence that had settled over the three of you was a little unsettling. And so, you decided to take it upon yourself to start up a conversation. The only issue was that you didn’t really have anything interesting to say, and thus, you had to settle for asking Tim one of the dumbest, blandest questions you’d ever asked.

“You been here long?”

A small amused exhale escaped from Eric’s lips almost immediately, which caused you to softly scrunch up your expression in mild confusion. Was he laughing at how stupid your question was? Or was there something else going on that you didn’t quite understand? Your gaze flicked from Delko to Speed, only finding yourself being even more confused by the small look that Tim appeared to shoot Delko before talking to you.

“Uh, no. No. Bout five minutes,” he answered. “Saw you two pull up so I figured I’d come say hi before heading in.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted the slight look of amused disbelief that Eric wore on his expression, but were unable to even begin and try to guess why that was as you soon found yourself being approached by a man. A man that, from the way he was dressed and the way that he held himself, was clearly a cop. But it wasn’t one you recognised. You might not have been working here long, but you’d worked enough cases now to become very familiar with Tripp and Bernstein, who were typically the male members of law enforcement that you worked with. Guess they were busy. Maybe they were with Horatio and Calleigh, on whatever case they were currently working on. The detective soon produced his ID from his large coat pocket and flashed it at the three of you. That revealed that his name was apparently Detective Gillan, and he soon began to speak.

“Vic’s a Sara Anderson. Found by some teenagers that were looking to use the place as a hook-up spot. She’s over there with the ME if you wanna do your… thing.”

You softly nodded at this information, and the group soon split. Eric went to go and examine the main door of the building for anything useful, whilst you were paired with Speed and told to head inside to study the evidence around the body. Of course, this raised absolutely no objections from you. You merely told Delko that if he needed assistance with anything to just call you over, and made your way inside. Before long, the two of you had made your way inside. And after politely greeting Alexx, you began to get to work. A small, clearly out of place patch of glitter near the victim had drawn your attention, and so, you started there.

“Delko looking after you?” Tim’s voice brought you out of your thoughts a short while later, causing you to glance up from your current knelt-down position to look up at him. You tilted your head slightly to indicate you weren’t too sure what he meant, and thus, Tim brought down his camera from his face to continue talking. “You’ve been paired with him for the past few cases, yeah? I’m just making sure he’s pulling his weight and not making you do everything.”

Once you’d gotten over the brief internal rush of him asking a genuinely sweet question, you managed to compose your thoughts and give some kind of answer. “Yeah. Yeah, he’s nice. I like working with him, he’s very chill about everything.” That was truthful. You and Delko had formed some kind of weirdly strong bond during the few weeks that you’d been on the team, and he sincerely seemed like a nice guy. Messy, kinda disorganised, but still a good guy. “Kinda miss working with you so much though. I’ll have to speak to Lieutenant Caine about that,” you continued, figuring that you could get away with that. After all, it wasn’t an outright admittal of your feelings. It was just saying that you enjoyed working with him, that could be entirely platonic.

And although you couldn’t be too certain, due to the less than superb lighting in the place, you could have sworn that remark caused a small smile to briefly form on Tim’s lips. The man opened his mouth, presumably going to talk again, only for the both of you to soon find yourselves distracted by a noise. The sound of footsteps approaching you.

It wasn’t long before you figured out who it was. It was that detective. Gillan, or whatever it was. He was making his way over. Assuming that he had something to talk to Tim about, you didn’t speak, opting instead to give him a small, polite nod before you looked back down at the surface you were currently dusting. However, it wasn’t long before the man’s voice caused you to stop and look back at him. “So… you’re a CSI, right?”

That question sincerely caused a surge of confusion to run through you. If you had the dry wit of Speed in this moment or the confidence of Calleigh, this is when you’d give some biting remark about how obviously you were. Why would you be kneeling on the floor with a dusting brush in your hand if you weren’t? But you didn’t. So, instead, you settled for a much more tame response. After all, perhaps the guy was just awkward and trying to start up a conversation by stating the obvious. “Yes?” You spoke, that confusion that you were experiencing being clear in your tone.

He grinned at that, his smile being far too wide for the simple response you’d given, which was slightly unnerving. “Cool. I mean, you don’t really look like the type so I just wanted to be sure.” That was… an interesting comment. What did he mean by that? As far as you knew, there weren’t any huge stereotypes of CSI’s. It wasn’t a job like accounting, wherein everyone had a clear image of what they expected one to be like. However, unfortunately for you, it wasn’t long before you found out exactly what the man meant and exactly what his motives were for giving that comment. “I mean, you know, you’re way too pretty to be working in a gross line of work like this. You sure you didn’t get confused and sign up for the wrong career by mistake?”

You couldn’t help but tense slightly at that.

You were sure that he probably only meant it as a compliment. And you weren’t someone that was some kind of strict workaholic who only cared about what they were doing. If someone approached you and made light conversation, you’d quite happily talk to them. Hell, you’d lost count of the amount of times you’d gotten caught up talking to Tim, Delko or Calleigh on a scene lately. But something about that seemed off. Whether it was his tone, or the look in his eyes, you felt deeply uncomfortable. Plus, this guy just really, really wasn’t your type.

And so, in the hope that perhaps he would take the hint and just… fuck off, you gave an uncomfortable smile. “Thank you. But no. I trained very hard to be here.”

“Dedicated and attractive. Fascinating. You got a partner back at home?”

Good fucking lord. Okay. Perhaps he was more stubborn than you’d believed. How were you meant to answer that? Should you answer that? Because the honest answer was that, no, you didn’t. But if you told him that… god, he’d never go away, would he? He’d ask you on a date, and then you’d be screwed. Surprisingly though, you’d barely had a chance to try and form an awkward response before the conversation was interrupted.

“Do you mind?”

It was Tim’s voice. The attention of both you and the detective quickly moved over in the direction of your co-worker, seeing that he was stood there with a clearly unimpressed look on his face. “We’re working. If you want us to catch whoever did this, then shut up, go do something useful and let Y/N work, alright?” Tim continued in a tone that you’d heard more than a few times since you’d started working with him. It was that dry, sarcastic anger that only came out when someone had really irked him, usually by saying something stupid. Not rage, but… irritation.

Detective Gillan’s expression faltered slightly at Tim’s words, with the other man clearly having done a far better job at shutting him up than you could ever have hoped to do. Soon afterwards, he softly cleared his throat, corrected his posture and responded. “Good idea. I’ll… I’ll go and interview the people that found her. Maybe they saw something interesting.”

Tim nodded. “You do that. Have fun. Don’t rush back.”

With that, the detective shot you one last look, before finally leaving you alone. A soft exhale of relief fell from your lips the mere moment that you were certain that he was out of earshot, soon glancing up at Tim with a clear look of gratitude in your eyes.

“Thank you,” you said. “Seriously. I was worried that I was going to have to take his number just to get him to leave me alone.” You could have sworn you’d seen Tim’s expression soften at that, with the man soon giving a small shake of his head.

“Y’know, if I were H, this is when I’d come out with some smart line about the benefits of being in a team and always having each other’s backs or whatever, but… If he bothers you again, let me know, alright?” Tim paused for a moment, allowing you to nod softly in agreement before he continued speaking with a small, slightly warm smile held on his lips. “Gotta look after the newbie, haven’t I?”

Your heart rate did a noticeable spike in your chest at that remark, even though the logical part of you knew that it was only him being friendly. And it was with that comment that Speed took his moment to get back to work, making his way closer to Alexx to go and talk to her. Of course, the logical part of you just assumed it was to do with work, and thus, you got back on with your own stuff. However, about… fifteen minutes later, you found yourself needing to stop because you became aware of eyes on you.

At first, that realisation caused anxiety to rush through you. Had that detective not taken his leave, as you’d hoped and Tim had told him to? And you fought the urge to look up for as long as you could, but eventually you gave in. As subtle as you could manage, you glanced around yourself and truthfully, were surprised and relieved by the results.

Speed was clearly still in the middle of a conversation with Alexx, about god knows what. But his eyes were on you. And for reasons that you couldn’t quite explain, perhaps it was just your cliche romantic brain combined with your own crush on him, but the look in his eyes as your gaze met wasn’t quite one of concern. It wasn’t one of ‘oh, let me just check that Y/N is still working’ or ‘does Y/N need help with what they’re doing’, it was… softer. You couldn’t quite describe it, but whatever it was, it caused an undeniable warmth inside of you. Your face flushed with warmth too, causing you to need to be the one to look away first, glancing down at the floor beneath you.

In doing so, you missed the look that Alexx shot Tim soon afterwards and the little teasing shake of her head as a result of his actions.

But needless to say, the ME absolutely did not miss a chance. About twenty minutes later, you were approached by the woman in question, her case in hand indicating that she had wrapped up her work and was now going to make her way back to the morgue.

“Hello, Doctor Woods,” you greeted her politely once again.

“It’s Alexx, baby, please,” the woman warmly corrected you, with her not hesitating to kneel down beside you on the cold concrete. “Could I ask you a question?” That was ominous. Hoping that it wasn’t anything too serious and that it’d be an innocent question that you could easily answer, you gave a nervous nod and enabled the other woman to continue speaking. However, your hopes were wrong. Very wrong. “So… you and Tim, huh?”

Shit.

Was it that obvious? Had your subtle, secret occasional glances at Tim whilst you’d been working really been that noticeable? Did everyone know? Oh, god, did Tim himself know? Oh fuck, how would you ever live that down? You may have just only joined the team, but suddenly dropping everything and moving to New Zealand just to ensure that you didn’t suddenly become the source of office gossip looked very appealing.

“We… We’re not… We’re just friends. I promise,” you nervously tried to correct her, pretty sure that your face had just paled. Alexx gave a soft laugh at that, the older woman’s expression soon softening with empathy.

“Sure. I buy that from the way you two look at each other.” Wait. What? What did she mean? Surely she had to be making that up. Surely she’d just misread Tim’s friendly glances as something more. Right? Your feelings were unrequited. Yes? “Just… keep him out of trouble whilst I’m gone, alright? You’re one of the few people he actually listens to. I’ll see you back at the lab, alright?”

Before you really had much of a chance to do anything besides give another nervous nod, your thoughts an absolute mess, Alexx got back up on her feet and walked off. What… What was going on? Was this some kind of practical joke? Or were you really so set in your mindset of Tim not returning your feelings that you’d somehow completely missed signs that apparently everyone else could see? You really didn’t know. Alexx wasn’t the type to be that cruel. But you just… couldn’t really believe the latter suggestion being the case. Unable to stop yourself from doing so, you glanced around yourself once more, allowing your gaze to settle on Speed on the far side of the large hall. The man appeared to be working, and so, you decided that you weren’t going to approach him about it right now.

But at some point later, you decided that you’d need to approach him. You needed to know what was going on.

And after all, figuring stuff out? Putting clues together? Well. That was a CSI’s job, wasn’t it?

---

AN: so that was legit the worst ending in history lmao, but hopefully you liked this?? as i said above, requests are open and i’m in a csi obsessive mood rn so, yeah!!! please do send in any requests you may have!!! i would love to write something for you!! thank you for reading ily <3

[atlabeth]

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

-

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

-

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

[cjsinkythoughts]

WIP List!

Mickey Henry x fem!Reader - You hate his music taste. He hates yours. You have a bad habit of stealing his gigs. He has a bad habit of fucking you until you can’t walk straight. Everyone has flaws. What are you to do about it?

This one will be a few firsts for me; first published smut, first Mickey Henry fic, and first enemies-to-lovers ever! I’m attached to friends-to-lovers (my parents’ fault), so going in the opposite direction is exciting and I hope it works out! (We’ll see what it can become after it’s been written.) Also! This is gonna be for @honeysucklesteve​’s 4k honeybunswritingchallenge!

Part 2 of Ocean Eyes, Cherry Lips, Ivory Keys

I’m honestly in love with the idea of Bucky playing the piano (guys who can do music just *chefs kiss*) and I love 40’s!Bucky so, while I don’t have any solid ideas for this and it’ll probably end up just being a double parter, maybe a mini series, but I wanna explore it a bit more.

Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader

This one kinda came outta nowhere (for you guys at least), but I’ve been working on it for a few months now and I’m kinda in love with the idea. It’s a bit intense - it deals with some really serious stuff (drugs, depression, attempted suicide) - but I really like angst. Plus, I wanna write more Steve! I love my Brooklyn Blondie! This would be a full series.

Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

This is one that people have been asking quite a bit about. The whole “Bucky shoots the love of his life” one. It starts in the early 1900’s but it does have a modern day story added. The thing is - I can cut it short and make the ending really really depressing OR I can make it a full series with a happier ending. This one will make you feel even worse for Bucky, so there’s that. This story is my baby! I started it over a year ago and keep coming to it to edit it or add something, but it kinda lacks direction, so…maybe posting it here will actually force me to develop it more.

Bucky Barnes x genius!fem!Reader

This one is one of my favorites that I’ve written. I’m in love with it. It’s been…around a year? I think? Since I started this one. It’s got some rough family stuff on her part - like really rough so there will be major warnings - and it’s a bit tough for Bucky lovers at first because it does involve HYDRA and the Winter Soldier and that’s always heart breaking. I don’t wanna give out too many spoilers, but there will be angst, but also lots of fluff (especially domestic fluff that takes place in *REDACTED*.)

I also have a few singledad!Bucky fics that I love, but I wouldn’t know which ones to choose and which ones I would add a reader to, because there isn’t one, it’s just Bucky with kids! (Different kids/different AUs! I have quite a few! 😅)

I’m gonna try working on Erased from the Stars as well, but I’ve just lost myself with that series and the desire just isn’t coming (yet), so I think that one will stay on hiatus for the time being.

These don’t include FATWS One Shots, because I will continue posting those throughout the week until they’re finished! I kinda wanna shift when I post them to Friday to continue FATWS Friday, but we’ll see what my future schedule looks like!

This is not in order of when they’ll be posted! These are just what I’m gonna be working on. Feel free to tell me which one you wanna see first! (The only one I know is coming out soon is the Mickey x Reader, which will be out sometime next week!)

Note: Most of these that I’ve been developing for a while started out with an OC! I’d love to tell you about them, but I will be shifting the story some to make it x Reader for you lovelies!

WARNING: From here on out, most of my work will contain some 18+ stuff! Minors DNI! I’ve been lenient on it because my FATWS Series didn’t have 18+ stuff, but I’m gonna start writing it more into these works! Those are the rules and I don’t wanna get in trouble, so please follow them! Thank you!

I won’t be able to crank out a chapter of every series every week and most likely, once I start a series, I won’t start another one. I’m thinking about getting another job in a couple months and my family’s getting together soon so after May I’m gonna be a lot busier. Thank you so much for all the love and support I’ve gotten! I really appreciate all of you!

Be kind to yourself and others and stay tuned! 💕

~CJ

(Here’s my Masterlist, too!)

[pascalpanic]

Spitfire (Javier Peña x f!Reader)

Summary: You’re working on a case file in your apartment with Javier. It’s late. He tells you that you need to relax, and you say no, but then he offers to help you calm down. Warnings: 18+, smut, and it’s graphic smut. cursing too. Javier Peña comes with his own warning. brief mentions of alcohol/alcoholism and of period-typical misogyny. oral sex (f and m receiving), p in v sex. WC: 4.4k A/N: Lol my longest one yet and it’s smut. Well, I’ve been being hounded to post my first smut fic, and who better than with the devil himself, Javi? I saw this masterlist of smut prompts (written by @prolixitae) and had a friend choose two for me, so this one is going to include those, including “you’re being so good for me, I knew you could take it all” and “answer the phone, I dare you.” Welp, here we go!

Rarely did women catch his eye the way you did. He’d admire their asses in their skirts, their breasts and the way they’d cause their buttons to tug at the matching hole on their blouses. Javier was discreet about it, but it was always what he noticed first. With you, it was surprising, and it almost made him give a chuckle when he’d think about it. You were wonderfully built, of course, and he definitely came to adore that, but he always rested his eyes on your face. You had the most wonderful eyes he’d ever seen, he thought, not just from the stunning color but from the way they held every ounce of your personality in them. They always betrayed just what you were feeling: your rage at him, which was often, or your adoration of a child or a dog on the street, your intensity as you scanned the paper on the desk in front of you.

Not only did your eyes astound Javier, but your lips captivated him. You frequently wore different shades of lipstick, and every one looked more delectable than the last to him, who wanted nothing more than to kiss you so hard it came off all over his face, or to have smears of it left on his chest or his hips. They looked incredibly soft, gentle yet strong, and the words that flew out of them, often without a thought, made his own tug up in the corner of his face and expose that dimple. He’d even seen you without makeup a few times, after a particularly long stakeout or a hard night of partying. He found them just as beautiful when they were their natural color, just as attractive and luscious.

The rest of your face made him smile just to think about; it was the very essence of you, of course it brought a grin to his normally stoic face. Your eyebrows and cheekbones perfectly framed those beautiful eyes, your nose quirked adorably when you were either full of rage or joy. Your cheeks moved with your lips or nose, and he wanted to kiss every little line or fold on that beautiful skin of yours, loving the way the tone looked against the equally stunning clothes you wore.

Over time, his appreciation of the rest of your body grew too. The pencil skirts you wore complimented your stunning ass, and the clacking of the heels you paired them with made him weak at the knees when he knew the noise was you walking his way. On stakeouts, in civilian clothes, even the comfortable things you wore were stunning. The curve of your chest beneath a t-shirt, the way your jeans were ripped and exposing the skin of your legs beneath them. The littlest things about you were beautiful to him, but God if they weren’t becoming a distraction.

It’s 01:00, as Javier likes to call it, as the two of you face each other with a look of frustration on each face. You sit in your apartment, the one just above his, him on your couch and you on the floor. “Fuck,” you practically shout and toss the papers down onto the coffee table between you. “How can there be this little evidence of a man who’s fucking everywhere? He runs the entire fucking country like a puppet on a string, and we can’t find a shred of evidence that’s enough to get a goddamn warrant.” Your rage was apparent on your face, causing you to clench your fist around your empty can of soda until it’s a ball of crumpled aluminum. You look up at Javi, practically steaming out of your ears. “How the hell do you do this job?” You ask, breathing heavy from your momentary rage.

I stare at your tits until I’m feeling something else, Peña thinks to himself. He knows he can’t say that, so he takes a second and just sighs, shaking his head. “I leave it at the office,” he chides, leaning forward and tossing a folder onto the table. You had been working on this case alone all night, scanning through paperwork. Hearing you pace around your apartment that sat directly above his, an equally awake Javier had come up to your apartment and knocked, offering his assistance. He and his partner Steve, who lived next door to you with his wife Connie, had been working on another aspect of the Escobar case. You and yours, Rick Harrigan, had been focused on getting something to use as a warrant to invade his home. Unfortunately, your partner was an incompetent alcoholic who was about as much use to you as Escobar himself.

“Easy for you to say,” you shake your head. “I personally call it giving a shit, Javi,” you say sharply. “When you’re not as respected as a man in this field, you have to work twice as hard. And when your partner is too drunk to show up and not get himself killed, twice as hard as that.” You angrily staple two papers together, using the hit to the appliance as a release of your rage.

“Woah there, bonita,” Javier says as he watches, earning an angry glare from you that eases when his eyes meet yours. You sigh and lean back against the wall, running a hand over your hair, loosening from the ponytail it’s tied in. “You need to relax somehow. It’s one in the morning now, did you notice that?” he asks teasingly, chuckling as your eyes fly open. “Guess you didn’t. Get some sleep,” he tells you and crosses his legs, leaning back on the couch.

You sigh again and untie your ponytail, shaking out your hair. “I’m sorry, Javi. I should. I probably woke you too, with my pacing, and I’ll be lucky if I didn’t wake Steve and Connie too.” You groan and look up at him, finding his eyes trained on you. “What?” you ask curiously.

Javier had been staring at how beautifully messy you looked, how your hair was a mess and your makeup was smudged, barely clinging to your face. You looked absolutely wrecked, and it was far more attractive to him than it should’ve been. It almost looked like you had just rolled out of bed with someone, and the look moved his blood somewhere in his body lower than it needed to be. “Nothing,” he says with a gulp and you quirk an eyebrow.

You’d clearly be lying if you didn’t find yourself attracted to the man in front of you. He was an equal to you in the office, but he liked to act like your superior. Naturally, with your temper, you refused to let that happen, leading to some tension between the two of you. The tension, however, wasn’t necessarily the bad kind. If you had less cowardice, you’d ask him out. You know he’d say yes. Javier has a reputation for never turning down a date with a willing woman.

That’s the thing though. It would be labeled a date at first, but it wouldn’t remain that way for long. You could, and admittedly did, picture what would happen: you’d show up in some sexy little dress, Javier wearing a tight shirt, one open button short of professional, and equally tight jeans that highlight his ass. You’d each get in a drink and a half and the next morning you’d wake in your own bed, a delicious ache between your legs and no Javier to be seen.

Clearing that thought from your head, you tie your hair into a ponytail once more and pick up another paper from the desk. “I’m… we’re gonna get murdered if I don’t get this done by Friday morning. God knows Rick won’t be working on it,” you sigh and shake your head, scanning the paper.

“Your head is going to pop if you keep shoving shit in there,” he teases you, nudging you with his leg under the coffee table. “Get some rest.”

You gulp, biting down on your lip. He’s going to keep telling you that, but you can’t do it. It’s too much work, and your fear of failure is greater than your need for sleep. The emotions build inside, mostly frustration: at Javi telling you to rest, at your incompetent partner, at yourself. “I’ve told you this, Javi, I have to keep working. I can sleep later.”

“Do you want me to go beat the shit out of Harrigan for you? I’m not above that,” he offers, his tone clearly teasing.

You chuckle a little and look at him, tears welling in your eyes. “You’re too kind,” you say, voice thick with emotion before you turn back to the paper, “but that wouldn’t change anything except make your life harder and him drink more to cope with the injury.” As you finish talking, your words rise in pitch until the tears fall from your face.

“Hey, hey,” Javier says quickly, getting on his knees on the other side of the coffee table, one hand reaching out to the side of your face. “Don’t cry, cariña,” he says softly, wiping the tears from one eye with his thumb. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re a much better agent than you’re giving yourself credit for, and getting Escobar is like catching a greased pig,” his native Texan adages coming out. You giggle a little at that and he smiles softly. “Let me help you. We’ll go talk to the ambassador about Harrigan together, and I’ll help you search all of this.”

“Javi, you have all of your assigned work, and like you said, it’s one in the morning, you need to sleep-”

“No, you need sleep. I run on cigarettes and rage alone,” he says, earning another soft chuckle from you. “We’ll search this for another hour, see if there’s anything we can use, and if it doesn’t pan out we’ll both go to bed and start this again in the morning.”

You nod softly, leaning into his hand. “You’re much nicer late at night, Peña,” you tease him, causing him to drop the smile, the stoic look returning to his face only accentuated by the growing shadow of stubble on his skin.

Javi chuckles a little. “You’re the only one who’s ever been brave enough to tease me,” he admits, a thick eyebrow slightly raising as he grabs another file from the table and opens it, starting to comb through it. “You’re una volcán,” he chuckles and takes a sip of the glass of whiskey sitting on the table. You look at him questioningly. “A spitfire.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s called being a woman and having had enough,” you tease back at him drily. “Though I suppose I do have plenty of balls to go around. More than any of the men in our department.”

Shaking his head, Javi leaves it there, though he desperately wants to flirt back. You want to leave it there too, but you can’t. Something in you has to get the last word with him, has to get him fired up enough to retort, maybe to do something he shouldn’t to you. “Sometimes I think I’m the only one around here who can’t just go get fucked and forget about the job.”

“Who says I get fucked?” He asks flirtatiously as he takes another sip from his whiskey, and a small smirk falls across your face.

“If it’s about forgetting about something, you need to be the one receiving,” you flirt, daring to get on your knees and lean across the table, trying to get as close to his face as you can to say the words.

Javier reciprocates the movement, taking this as a challenge. “Is that an offer or a request?” He teases back, leaning forward until you can feel his hot breath on your face.

“I’ll let you decide that,” you chuckle quietly and close the distance between the two of you, your lips crashing together. It’s hot and desperate and needy for a moment, nearly moaning into the kiss but stopping yourself. It continues, sloppy and heated and needy. “You’re the one who was in tears earlier,” Javi murmurs between kisses. “I think that means that you’re the one in need of some forgetting.”

“I think that sounds wonderful,” you sigh as his lips move to your jaw. Javi breaks away from you, standing for a moment before situating himself on the couch. He lies back, head on a pillow, unbuttoning his shirt a little. He smirks as he watches you noticing. “Well? You gonna come sit on my face or what?” He asks with a similar smirk, unbuttoning his shirt the rest of the way and letting his shirt fall open but rest on his shoulders.

Your mouth nearly drops open. Nothing in you ever questioned that Javier would be an extremely generous lover; even rumors around the office indicated that. No, you just didn’t expect him to be so blunt about it. It makes your blood run cold for a moment. You nod and stand, shimmying the leggings down your legs and kicking them aside. So caught up in your lust, you try to walk forward but your shin finds the coffee table. “Fuck,” you yelp, now kicking the coffee table to shove it out of your path to the man looking at you like he’s starving and there’s a four-course meal between your legs. It drags and screeches across the floor, making a loud noise and you wince. It wobbles and thunks, making more noise than anything should be at what’s now approximately 1:40 A.M..

“Hey, take your anger out here instead,” Javi flirts, scooting further from the back of the couch so you can get properly on him. Once you finally reach his side, he pulls your shirt up frantically as high as he can before you have to do the rest. You pull it off to reveal a generic black bra, but it makes the rising tent in Javier’s jeans grow. “Oh fuck, look at you cariño,” he murmurs, hands gliding up your sides. You pull off your panties and finally straddle him, grinding your hips into his and earning an absolutely sinful groan from him. “No, not now. Get up here,” he murmurs, grabbing your hips and scooting you up his body until you’re seated on his face.

You lean forward, a hand on the arm of the couch for balance, and Javier nearly dies from the sight above him. He licks a tentative stripe up your folds and you moan helplessly, your head falling back. “Javi,” you whisper, and then again when he brings up his fingers to toy at your entrance. “Jesus Christ,” you shudder as his mouth finds your clit, swishing it with his tongue and lapping at it.

A hand finds his hair and you curl your fingers in it tight as he slips his fingers into you. Two digits immediately begin exploring inside of you and you whimper before you can stop yourself. His lips circle your clit as his tongue plays with it, desperately eating you out. It feels amazing, and his name escapes your lips again and again. You cry out his name softly, already sweating and flushed from the pleasure, before you notice it:

Brrrrrring. Brrrrrring.

It’s the phone. “Who the fuck is calling now?” you whine, annoyed at the fact that it’s while Javier’s face is buried in your pussy more so than the fact that it’s in the dead of the night. You ignore it for a few moments more, whimpering at the way Javier’s tongue works against you. He stops and moves you slightly.

“Answer the phone, I dare you,” he murmurs, a fire in his eyes before that smart mouth returns to his task at hand.

“Fuck, I can’t, I’m gonna sound terrible,” you manage out through moans and soft whimpers. Javier makes a noise into you, indicating that you’d better. “Fucker. Be nice to me,” you whisper to him before you answer. “Hello?”

“Sweetie, is everything okay?” you hear Connie’s voice, whispering yet frantic, on the other end.

“Yeah, just fine,” you say, panting from the feeling of Javi beneath you.

“Are you sure? What the hell happened? Steve was going to go check on you but I made sure he didn’t, he wants to make sure you’re okay too,” she starts rambling, clearly cupping her hand over the microphone so the whisper can’t escape it.

What a sight that would be: Steve opening the door to find his partner eating out their coworker. You almost moan at that but hold back, biting on your lip as she speaks and trying to compose yourself for your turn. “Ye-ah,” you say, a moan slipping out as Javi’s teeth brush your clit. “I stubbed my toe and kicked the coffee table,” you admit, and it’s truthful. That earns Javi a little extra tug on the hair, and he seems to take that as motivation to be even worse.

“You’re sure everything is fine over there?” She asks.

“Great, yeah. Go back to bed, Connie,” you say, still panting helplessly.

“If you’re dead in the morning, you can’t blame me,” she teases and hangs up.

“Fuck you, Javi,” you laugh breathlessly when the line clicks dead. “What the fuck?”

“Hopefully you will,” he murmurs into you, and your anger is immediately resolved as the motion of his fingers and tongue matches perfectly.

You cry out at the mixture before you can stop yourself. “Oh fuck, Javi, I’m really close,” you mutter, your hips canting back against the rhythm he sets. He gives a little noise, and you assume that’s him giving it the okay. He keeps going and going in just the right way until it’s too much and not enough at the same time and- “Javier,” you wail helplessly, your orgasm rushing over you.

He works you through it, moaning into you as you shudder and whine atop of him. He pushes you down to straddle his torso when you’re done. He smirks up at you, perfectly content with himself. “Bastard,” you murmur and shake your head before kissing him again, moaning as you can taste yourself on his tongue. It continues like that for a moment before you pull away, the noise from the wetness of the kiss absolutely obscene. “Here’s the plan. We’re gonna go to my bedroom and I’m gonna blow you, then you’re gonna fuck me so hard I can’t remember what the name Escobar means.”

The lust in his eyes is practically turning his irises black. “Yes ma’am,” he smirks and kisses you again, sitting up to do so and resting his hands on the sides of your face. You stand and beckon him, turning and walking towards your bedroom, wearing nothing but the black bra you’d neglected to take off earlier.

As he enters, he undoes his belt, tossing it aside, smirking at the image of you sitting on the edge of your bed. “Take off the bra,” he orders and you get ready to do so, giving him a little show before moving your hands to the clasp. “On one condition.”

“You fucking name it and I’ll do it, cariño.”

“When I wake up in the morning, you’ll be next to me.” He pauses for a moment, halfway through unzipping his pants. He looks up at you, eyes unreadable. “You don’t have to be sweet to me, hell, you can destroy me, but you’re staying the night.”

Javi pauses for a second more before the smirk grows. “Deal.” He stands in front of you and shucks his jeans, leaving him in just his boxers, which you quickly pull down. Your eyes bulge as you finally get the chance to see him; he’s massive. This is going to be… interesting, to say the least. A smirk finds your face and you take him in your hand, stroking him softly. “Where do you want me, bonita?” He asks breathily, his head falling back. You stand and push him to sit on the edge of the bed, where you just were, before falling to your knees and spreading his legs.

As you take him in your hand to slowly stroke him, Javier chuckles softly. “You can’t do this for long. I already feel like I’m gonna cum,” he murmurs, his fingertips tracing the side of your face until they reach your chin. You take him in your mouth, just the tip, and already feel overwhelmed. He’s massive, even just the tip is, filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue before pulling off, pressing kisses to the side of his shaft. He watches in awe, panting and sweating, before a moan falls from his lips. “Oh, fuck,” he mumbles, hand resting on your chin.

You take him in your mouth and start bobbing on him, never quite reaching the base but desperate to do so. He shudders. “Think you can take all of me, baby, huh?” he asks, earning a little whimper from you. “You can do it, I think. That big mouth, always sassing me, now you’re using it for this.”

On the next bob, you take all of him, his tip hitting the back of your throat. It makes you gag slightly, but it’s still deeply erotic, making the feeling in your body warm you up even more. “Fuck, my little spitfire, you’re being so good for me. I knew you could take it all.” You whimper around him and come back up, and he pulls you off of him. “No more or I’ll cum down your throat,” he chuckles. “Where are the condoms?”

You stand hurriedly and head to the nightstand, grabbing a condom from the drawer. “I want you however you’ll take me,” you tell him as you unwrap the condom, getting on your knees again to roll it down over him, tossing the wrapper carelessly to the side.

“Just missionary for now. For our first time,” he smirks, tipping your chin up so he can kiss you. You taste so perfect, he thinks, he could probably shoot his load just from kissing you. But not now, not when he has a plan.

You smirk a little at that. First time. Insinuating there will be more to come. You get up from your knees and climb onto the bed, lying down with your head in the pillows. Javier climbs over you, leaning down and kissing you softly. “How hard do you want me?” he asks.

“You decide. You’re the one who’s in charge, remember?” You ask flirtatiously, reaching down to stroke him slowly as you spread your legs wider.

He chuckles darkly and kisses you again, lining himself up with you. His eyes open quickly and he brings his face back, nonverbally asking. You give him a little smirk, nodding softly, and he kisses you again as he pushes into you. You cry out into his lips. He’s so big, you knew that from going down on him, but it’s a delicious stretch. He waits only a moment before pulling out and thrusting back in again, making you whimper his name.

“Javi,” you whine again and again, wrapping your leg around his waist. From the first thrust, he presses against that perfect little spot inside you, making you wetter and wetter with every thrust. “Oh god, harder, harder, just fucking wreck me,” you whine, spreading your free leg as wide as you can.

He brings one hand down to circle your clit, and it makes you squeal helplessly, the way he rubs it just in time with the harsh thrusts inside of you. It all feels so good, all of it, his lips working his way across your neck and working a mark behind your ear.

His thrusts are hard, both for you and for him, and he starts murmuring dirty little words into your ear, biting down on his lip as he thrusts. “So good for me, cariño,” he murmurs before sucking on your earlobe, quickening his tempo. “So tight around me. Never felt anything like you.”

Unable to formulate any words other than his name, you cry it out again. “Fuck, fuck Javi,” you groan, your hands dragging down his back, leaving marks with your nails.

“Such a dirty mouth,” he smirks for a moment before crying out at the feeling of your nails. “Oh, fuck, honey. You gonna cum for me?” he asks, earning a frantic nod for you. “You wanna hold back? We can cum together,” he murmurs, and that receives another nod. “Oh, good girl,” he murmurs, the noises you make going straight to his dick.

Biting down on your lip, you sigh. “I’m holding back, so you better be damn close,” you moan into his ear, working back against him.

He nods. “Okay, okay, come on baby. Come with me, 3, 2, 1….” he counts down and you clench tight around him as your second orgasm rips through your body, making you pulse and flutter around him. The feeling is so perfect, so intense that Javier can’t wait any longer and finally cums into the condom, thrusting harder and harder into you. “Feels so good when you cum,” he whispers to you, voice ragged and breath hot on your skin.

Javier keeps thrusting until the both of you are done, and he finally pulls out and flops down next to you on your mattress. He sits up, removing the condom and putting it in the trashcan by your bed before lying down again and pulling you to him. You rest your head on his sweaty chest and he wraps an arm around you, kissing your head. “Goddamn, honey,” he chuckles, using all of the air in his lungs to make the sound of content. You laugh too, snuggling in closer. “You’re gonna have to let me cum down that pretty little throat sometime soon,” he teases. “Because that’s all I’m gonna be thinking about until it happens.”

You chuckle at that, shaking your head. Suddenly, you freeze as your conscience comes back to you. “Fuck, those files,” you say, a hint of panic in your voice, trying to bolt upright.

Javi hushes you, pulling you back to his chest. “Forget about those files. You need sleep. You’re gonna sleep right here, and we’ll deal with it in the morning. I’ll make an appointment with the ambassador and he’ll send Harrigan’s ass back on the next flight to D.C.”

His words soothe you easily, but you’re still on edge. “No, Javi, I gotta-”

“Didn’t you make me promise I’d be here in the morning? That won’t happen if you don’t fall asleep,” he teases you and cuddles you into his chest. “Forget it, spitfire,” he tells you, and this time, you listen, letting your eyes fall shut as you listen to Javier’s slowing heartbeat, your ear pressed to his chest.

[flowerslut]

K, N?

K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?

man. the angstiest idea I’ve ever written is probably either welcome to hell (naruto) or borrowed time (twilight) but those are both angsty with unhappy endings, which is out of the ordinary for me. I love me a good happy ending. but I also LOVE me a good whumpy, angsty, hurt/comfort story. I have been told that it is My Brand™ and I’ll lean into that fully and enthusiastically. but yeah, most of my stories are VERY angsty 😬

the angstiest story I’ve ever outlined honestly might be one fell swoop, the all human twilight AU that I just picked back up after leaving the original story to gather dust for 14 years lmfao. I don’t want to give too much of it away since it’s my next big project, but there’s plenty of uh, intense themes, and lotssss of angst.

I also once wrote the beginning of a twilight breaking dawn AU from bella’s perspective (this was in like… 2009 maybe) in which jasper attacks her at her wedding in front of everyone and things go fucking buckwild from there. but in that fic I ended up having to kill jasper at the end so I dropped it LMAO

there is also a long-forgotten naruto AU that takes place after a one shot I wrote years ago where sasuke is executed for his crimes leaving sakura and their infant daughter behind. long-story-short they don’t actually execute him but they let him stay alive and even protect his family if he continues to do work for the village in the shadows/etc etc. it chronicles some crazy shit but I’m certain I’ll never get around to writing it (I have WIPs to take care of first)

but yeah lmao odds are, when you’re opening one of my fics to read, shits gonna be angsty

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

LMAO YES THERE IS. wholehearted apologies to the miraculous ladybug fandom but I very much doubt I’ll ever finish the adrien whump-fest that is pocket full of stones. I have the full outline handy for anyone who wants to like, apply to finish it lol but yeah that’s a fandom I can’t really see myself returning to. I cant fucking stand the creators/producers so 🤷🏼‍♀️

[moonlitceleste]

ya like jazz?

This is genuinely the most cursed thing I’ve ever written.

For those of you who are confused, go to my masterlist and read everything under the “Bee Movie AU.”

I wrote this while being very tired and out of it, and I also didn’t proofread a single thing, so sorry for any mistakes.

Whether you’re new to my blog or not, please don’t take this fic too seriously askdhsj. I tried to make it as cringey as possible.

Without further ado, I present “ya like jazz?”

-

Jason didn’t flinch from his spot on the couch as a glowing portal opened up right in the middle of his living room and a costumed figure walked out.

Well, technically it was their living room—his and Marinette’s, that is. She had moved in with him a few months ago, and although the sound of her portals was shocking at first, he had gotten so used to them that they were nothing more than background noise.

“Kaalki, divide!”

The horse-themed kwami flew out of Marinette’s glasses, and within seconds she had removed them from her face and placed them onto their small glass coffee table. Kaalki galloped to the plate of sugar cubes on the kitchen table.

Marinette was left wearing a sleek black-and-yellow uniform, one Jason had never seen her in before. The chevron and stripes clearly mimicked those of a bee, and her double pigtails seemed to be mock antennas.

Jason nearly spit out his water seeing her in it.

“Hey Jay.”

Marinette bounded over to greet her boyfriend with a peck on the lips, oblivious to his internal dilemma.

“Hey babe.”

Jason smiled weakly, trying to keep his eyes on her face. He felt like slapping himself—he never struggled with having basic respect for women, but it was like he couldn’t look away. Something about her outfit was so enticing.

“Pollen, buzz off.”

Well, he guessed his struggle was short-lived.

“Uh, babe, what was that?”

Despite his struggle for words, Jason managed to force out the question. Marinette cocked her head.

“What was what?”

The question was posed so innocently. Jason cursed the thoughts running through his mind.

“Was that a new uniform?”

His throat felt dry all of a sudden, heart pounding. He could never let her find out.

“Oh, it’s just the Bee Miraculous. I don’t think you’ve ever seen me wear it before.”

A pause.

“I suppose you’d know a lot about bees, Mr. Jazz Guy.”

Jason couldn’t help the violent flush that spread across his face at the jest. His family had teased him for months about using a pickup line from the fucking Bee Movie.

He turned away, hoping Marinette wouldn’t notice his heavy breathing and erratic heartbeat, or his dilated pupils at the mention of that cursed film.

Luckily enough, she didn’t.

Marinette plopped onto the couch next to him as he finished the episode he had been watching before she arrived. It was a comfortable routine, oddly domestic for a couple that hadn’t even been dating for a year. Jason and Marinette weren’t just any couple, though.

The episode ended soon enough, and Jason grabbed the remote to flip through movie options. They hadn’t seen one together in a while, after all.

“Hey,” Marinette snorted. Jason stopped his scrolling to glance over at her.

“Look.”

He followed the direction of her finger to the television screen, where he was met with the smiling face of Barry B. Benson. It was like he just couldn’t escape it.

Warmth crept up his neck once again.

Jason decidedly avoided making eye contact with Marinette, lest she see his eyes blown wide with lust.

Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect.

“Are you okay?” The frown in Marinette’s voice was obvious.

He didn’t want her to think he was mad, but his desire for her to never find out was greater. He stayed silent.

“Hey.”

The next few seconds happened too quickly for Jason to move away.

Marinette’s hand reached out to turn his chin, and his gaze met hers.

He could see the very moment her narrowed eyes widened in realization.

“Are you… turned on?”

Jason recoiled, pressing his back against the couch as far away as he could get.

“I—what? No!”

The denial was weak, and he knew it. Marinette inhaled sharply, and he could practically see their relationship falling apart in front of his eyes.

“Oh my god, you are.”

She stood up and paced, treading circles in their carpet. Her dumbfoundedness left her at an obvious loss for words.

“Do you have a Bee Movie kink?!”

Jason cringed as she said the words aloud.

“No.”

He kept his lips in a straight line, face as stony as he could possibly make it. He willed himself not to crack as her eyes searched his.

“You’re lying,” Marinette breathed. 

Jason wanted nothing more than to sink into the ground as she let out an incredulous laugh. He turned away sharply, hoping that way he wouldn’t have to see her disgust. Silence rang throughout the apartment, as if all life had gone still.

After what was either a few seconds or a few minutes, footsteps sounded from behind. Marinette walked up to him, probably to tell him he was crazy and that she was breaking up with him.

He didn’t expect the arms that wrapped around his waist, or the head that leaned into his back.

“I’m sorry, Jason. I didn’t mean to laugh.”

What?

“I’m not going to judge, you know.”

This had to be some kind of joke.

He whipped around, because there was no way she had just said that and meant it.

But Marinette had always worn her heart on her sleeve, and she seemed to be telling the truth.

“Really?” he rasped.

“Really,” she smiled, wrinkling her nose cutely.

“In fact,” she drawled, pulling something from her purse. “Why don’t we indulge?”

She waved the insect-themed comb in front of his face, biting her lip temptingly. The stripes on the bee called to him, and Jason couldn’t turn down the chance to see her in its stripes again.

A grin spread across his face, and rushed forward to wrap his arms around her waist, capturing her lips in a heated kiss.

"Buzz on,” Marinette gasped.

He kissed her again; it was intense, more so than others they’d shared before. Jason pulled back before her hands could roam too far, looking  her suit up and down with a smirk upon his lips.

“Hey,” he said in a husky growl, pouring every ounce of seduction he could into his words. “Ya like jazz?”

-

A/N: I was debating on whether or not to have Jason call her Vanessa at the end, but that felt like going too far. That would also mean that he’d be Barry, which didn’t work with what I had in mind. I think what I ended up with makes up for it, though. Also, I just realized that the kwamis would have to be witness to this so uh,,, just ignore that logic.

- 

PERMANENT TAGLIST (man, y’all are really gonna regret asking to be on this) @avengerthewarrior @bluesimani @enternalempires @freesportspalacesalad @glastwime859 @h1sss @jalaluvsu @nathleigh

TAGLIST @lady-literature @zorua-adorable

[buckyownsmylife]

Holy Ground - Chapter 4

The one where Andy seems to have lost everything, but he’s not ready to give up.

A terrible car accident ruins Andy Barber’s idea of a perfect life. But if the love’s still there, why wouldn’t he retrace the steps that led him to his happy ending? After all, the best love stories were made to be written more than just once.

for general warnings and author’s notes, please go to the fic’s masterlist and if you’d like to be tagged on my following Chris Evans and characters stories, just fill out this form.

A month had passed and the dates continued. I’d take her to a small restaurant, we’d share wine and stories I already knew all about, before I had to take her back to the hospital and sleep by myself yet again.

She was making progress, they’d tell me. She was starting to remember things about her past, what happened to her parents, knowledge she had gained whilst in college. Even the name of some of her favorite students. 

Nothing about me. Well, nothing of substance, anyway. Nothing that would make her realize we’ve been through all of this before, all of the first dates, first touches and kisses… So we kept on reliving it, and I kept hoping it would help her remember.

A month had passed and the doctors finally decided she could go home with me. We introduced her to the idea through a nice nurse that had become sort of a friend to her ever since she woke up. 

From what I heard, she asked my wife if she’d like to spend the night with me after one of those dates we kept having, and after a fit of giggles, she admitted that she did. And so that night, when I picked her up, I knew there was the possibility that I might not be sleeping alone tonight.

I couldn’t really focus on that thought. I didn’t want to create expectations only to be left feeling empty and alone when I got back to that large, cold bed. And so I focused on her, on how happy she seemed to be, spending time with me.

I took her dancing that night, and it’d been so long since I’d seen her look so ecstatic. She’d always loved to dance, and I loved any excuse to have her body tightly pressed against mine. But even when I had to step away to get us drinks, she kept her body slowly moving to the beat of the song, smiling with her whole face when her eyes met mine.

I never wanted her to stop dancing. But when she looked up at me from under her eyelashes, gaze so uncharacteristically shy, I couldn’t stop myself from licking my lips at her quiet invite.

“Do you want to take me home?” She couldn’t understand the impact those words had on me. Home. She wanted me to take her home. We couldn’t arrive there fast enough. I watched with intense gaze as she stepped foot in the house we’d decorated together, taking notice of the way her eyes looked at the details, the paintings she had chosen, the colors of the wall we had painted together. 

I’d fucked her right on the floor of this living room more times that I could count.

“Do you like it?” I asked, and she nodded somewhat timidly, like she didn’t think she fit there somehow. The thought concerned me almost as much as it infuriated me. “Do you want a glass of wine?”

When she shook her head, I smiled patiently at her, waiting for her smaller frame to approach me so I could cradle her face between my hands. “Do you want to go upstairs?” This time she nodded, even though my question was barely over a whisper. We were close enough for her to understand it.

I kissed her then, eager to touch her, to taste her lips and caress her body. I absentmindedly thanked myself for the fit of rage that had me breaking all of the picture frames inside the house weeks ago. That moment of vulnerability stopped me from freaking her out tonight.

She hid her face in the crook of my neck as I carried us upstairs, just like she always did whenever we were going to bed - both to sleep and not at all. And then, after I’d put her down on the floor and reached for the edge of her dress, she stopped my movement with a gentle hold on my wrist.

“I-I’ve never done this before.” And it hurt. It hurt because she had, I’d been the one to take her virginity a few years ago. The memories from that time flashed before my eyes as I looked at the face of the woman I loved and saw another version of her, one that I’d yet to uncover. “But I really want to do this with you.”

Her words brought some comfort to my desperation. I leaned down to cover her lips with mine again, allowing my hands to roam all over her body and in seconds, her dress was on the floor.

“You’re so beautiful, darling.” She looked flushed, but if from the compliment, my heated gaze or her own desire, I couldn’t tell. And in that moment, I was taken by the realization that it didn’t matter.

It didn’t matter that she couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter because it happened, and she was mine. She was mine back then and she was mine now. She had chosen to be with me right now, and I was gonna make the most out of this experience.

“Spread your legs for me, baby,” I asked when she was completely naked and sprawled out on the bed before me. I was down to my pants too, and I got rid of those before I got down to my knees, desperate to have her taste on my lips again.

“Andy, that feels so good.” Shivers went down my spine at the feeling of her nails raking over my scalp before she managed to get a grip over my hair, pulling on it whenever I twirled my tongue around her clit.

“I’ll alway make you feel good, sweetheart.” My cock pulsed inside my boxers, and still all I wanted to do was lick her up, drown myself in her taste. I’d spent too long without her wetness, I needed to get it imprinted on my lips again.

She cried out when I filled her with two of my fingers, and I remembered she thought this was her first time. “You like this, darling?” After she nodded, I pressed on, “Does it hurt?” She shook her head, clearly unable to speak, and so I got back to the apex of her thighs, licking and sucking on her little nub until she was shaking underneath me.

“It’s alright, baby.” I always had to coax her orgasm for the first times we’d laid together, her being too inexperienced and unfamiliarized with the sensations coursing through her body. “I got you. Cum for me.”

I watched hypnotized as she threw her head back while she clenched around my fingers, and I felt tempted to climb up her body and mark that pretty little neck she had exposed with a hundred million love bites, but I didn’t. I didn’t want her to feel pressured, feel like my weight on top of hers was me hurrying her process just so I could fuck her.

But I didn’t need to worry, because as soon as her eyes were open again, she reached out for me. “Come,” she called, tiny hand grasping for mine. “Want you inside.” I’d always found adorable how she cut down her sentences when she was eager for me, and witnessing it again only added to the desire I felt for her.

I climbed up on the bed and reached out for her other hand, keeping both of hers clasped on mine as I fused us together. I’d almost forgotten how it felt to be inside of her. This connection… It went beyond the sexual, it felt spiritual.

I kept holding her hands as I started to fuck her, losing myself to the feeling of being this close together again. I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in, and I only let her go when she pried her hands away to claw at my back.

“Shit… Take my cock so well.” It was gentle, the way I thrusted in and out of her, easily finding that spot that had taken me a while to discover back when we started having sex. But it was also desperate - I was desperate. A part of me really believed I’d never get to have her like this again, never get to share this sort of intimacy with her, cherish her body, give her pleasure. 

But here we were.

“You like that, huh?” I couldn’t help but tease, hearing her passionate moans reverberating across our room. I already knew she did. I knew just what she liked. But when she moaned my name as a response, I almost lost it right then and there.

It was the best kind of torture. Being this close and still having to keep some part of me intact, remembering that she still hadn’t given every part of her in return. I didn’t want to hold back. I wanted everything with her, once again.

It didn’t take much to bring her to climax, and hers elicited mine, like she always did. When it was said and done, I made sure to cuddle her just like I knew she needed, especially considering this was the first time she remembered doing this.

“How was it?” I asked, kissing her temple as I caressed her skin, relaxed in the knowledge that I’d fall asleep hearing her heartbeat against my chest. “Did I manage to make it great for you?”

She pushed away from me just enough to meet my eyes and smiled. “It was perfect.” But once she readjusted herself against my chest, she still commented, “I thought it would hurt more.”

A bittersweet smile took over my features, but thankfully she couldn’t see it. In fact, I watched as she fell asleep on my arms, muttering an “I love you” that would probably still freak her out if she’d heard right now.

I couldn’t imagine a world where I wouldn’t get to share a bed with her anymore. So that night, for the first time in a while, I didn’t feel alone as I closed my eyes and followed her into Morpheu’s arms.