#this is going to have to be under the ramble tag solely

[kivino]

I DON’T CARE WHAT’S IN YOUR HAIR || ROOMMATE!JOHN ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH X GN!READER

Word Counter – 1.9k

Tags/Warnings – Some friendly banter, can be read as both platonic and romantic, fluff!

Summary – Your roommate Johnny comes back after his deployment and his hair looks like it needs a little trimming.

A/n – I AM ON MY ROOMMATE!SOAP AGENDA AND I WILL SPREAD IT FAR AND WIDE. let me know if you guys would like to see more roommate!Soap things on my blog, i'm very interested in different opinions!!!

ao3 link!!

Soap couldn’t wait until he was finally back home – several months had passed since his last leave and he was getting restless and antsy without the very much-needed rest. And, well, your company, which he missed more and more each day. You’d constantly be on his mind, plaguing his every thought with your presence, from a rather simple, passing “Oh, they’d like this joke” inside his head to talking the ears off of anyone who’d listen to him ramble about his lovely roommate, who he affectionately called “my dumbass back home”. Slowly, but surely, the number of people willing to lend an ear to restless Johnny became less and less, with each day of him staying on the base. So really, it was more of a favor extended to all the resident soldiers there.

Soap could almost feel the buzz of excitement itching under his skin, the commute back to your shared apartment was really long and tiring; the huge duffel bag filled to the brim with dirty laundry and a variety of clothes he shoved inside in a hurry didn’t help with the soreness in his body either. Soap, thankfully, didn’t forget to tell you earlier this week that his leave got approved, which you didn’t seem too excited about over the text, but he knew that you were screaming and jumping from joy. Maybe.

The last time he forgot to do that ahead of time he came back to an absolute disaster inside the apartment, with you trying to cook dinner while doing laundry, vacuuming, and cussing him out for not telling you earlier. Truth be told, Johnny didn’t mind if the apartment was messy, with undone dishes and whatnot, he’d help you do everything, but you were fixed on the fact that you should do it yourself and it’s absolutely crucial that everything has to be perfect by the time he’s back. Ghost joked that you had some military spouse mentality when Soap mentioned it to him (among countless other times he’d tell the big guy about you). Maybe there was some truth to this joke. Just maybe.

Regardless, Johnny could feel the bounce in his step and the same lightness in his chest when he was finally within a short walking distance of the apartment, and he just simply couldn’t wait to see you, even if you were a bit tired after all the cleaning you’d have to do in the apartment to keep up this image of a “perfect roommate”, despite being to him much more than just that. Seconds drag out unbearably long when he’s going up the steep stairs in the building that have certainly seen better times than the 21st century, and Soap thinks he could combust when he has to rummage through his pockets for the keys he hasn’t used in months. Johnny could hear the vacuum moaning from exertion from his place outside the door and an unintentional smile grazes his lips when he hears you cursing something out in your native language. Johnny finally fishes the key out of his pocket, hurriedly unlocks the door, and goes inside, as quietly as he can, which you can still hear even over the sound of a working vacuum.

“Johnny, you ass, you’re finally back.” You’re immediately distracted from the home appliance, as you turn it off and focus your attention solely on Soap, running up to him across the room and helping him with the giant duffel bag. “Thought you died out there with long they held up your leave.” You mumble with a chuckle that turns into a rough shriek, courtesy of Johnny squeezing the life out of you with a tight and warm embrace.

“Aye, there we go, bonnie, let’s hug it out!” If you could hear over his loud booming voice you were sure you’d hear your bones snapping from how tight his arms wrapped around your torso. You’d probably hug him back if you could free your arms out of Johnny’s hug too, but that didn’t seem to be an option at the moment.

“Johnny, for fuck’s sake, you stink!” You only hear a hearty laugh in response to your dramatic delivery. You tried to seem annoyed with Soap, which was a bit harder than you initially thought. You kind of missed him, the apartment felt cold and empty without his chatter.

“And that’s how you treat me after we haven’t seen each other for months? You wound me so deep.” The man says in a mock-sad tone. Deep inside of him, he felt that – you’re not being serious and just messing with him. So, he only continued squeezing you in his arms, without much thought. “When did you shower last time anyway?” you ask with a light groan. “Not in the past 24 hours, I’ll tell ya that.” Johnny’s chest rumbles with a low laugh and you can feel those vibrations going right through you, from how close you were.

“Oh, fuck off. And what’s with the hair? Decided to take some fashion advice from those edgy lads down the road?” You finally look up at Soap and he looks…Interesting to say the least. It’s obvious that someone probably helped him trim down the sides, since they didn’t appear much longer than they were several months ago when he left last. The longer part of the mohawk, however, made him look like he decided to go full mullet, with parts of his hair cut in certain places, like there was an attempt to make it shorter. It wasn’t bad-looking by any stretch of the imagination (in fact, you were sure, that Johnny can make look good just about anything if he managed to pull off the fucking mohawk in the first place), but you had to take the piss at him while you had the chance.

“Everyone’s a critic. Help me cut it then, will ya?” The man asks, slightly loosening his iron grip on you to look you in the eyes with an infectious smile.

“Only after you wash.”

“Naturally.”

And that’s how you find yourself in the cramped, tight bathroom of your apartment, Johnny sitting in front of the mirror on a stool, back hunched over the sink and you standing right behind him, with a pair of scissors and a clear goal in mind – sort out whatever mess was on his head. If it was up to you, you’d find a person who decided to make Johnny the next victim of their questionable fashion choices and cut off their fingers so they can never hold anything that can cut hair in their hands again. But for now, you just have to figure out what to do with Soap.

“You look like a feral rat on steroids, Johnny,” You say, as your fingers slowly drift through the longer, very grown-out parts of his mohawk. You look at his reflection in the mirror and your eyes meet, despite the weird angle his head was positioned at, just to rest on your stomach. Soap gives you a lopsided smile and closes his eyes with a relaxed sigh. That bath must’ve been good, you scrubbed the shit out of the bathroom yesterday.

“Well, somebody’s gotta be the pretty one outta the pair of us.” If you were meaner than you already are you’d yank his hair to teach his ass a lesson. But you don’t. And he knows you wouldn’t do that, which is why you can see one barely open blue eye staring back at you from the mirror. He’s such a pain in the ass, but you love him. The world will collapse the day you actually acknowledge that though.

“You’re butt-ugly.” You mumble instead, playing with the damp strands of hair that refused to stand up the way they did before his deployment. You didn’t know much about the military dress code but you’d be surprised if he wasn’t violating any regulations with how his hair looked.

“Yer mum would disagree.” Johnny gave another hearty laugh and leaned more into you with his back. It really felt great to be back home. He could’ve still lived with his parents and sisters back on that farm, but as much as he loved them, relatives were too much sometimes. Maybe he should visit them soon with you. That’d be great. Johnny just has to explain beforehand that you’re only roommates, so it doesn’t turn into a big mess, that he’d hate to sort out.

“You don’t even know my mum, you wanker.” You slap Johnny on the shoulder lightly and he doesn’t even flinch. “Come on, straighten up.” He reluctantly obeys and gets up from his unusual resting position, you hear no verbal protests from him. With a light, gentle motion your hand ruffles his hair in approval.

“I’m sure she’s a woman of refined taste.” This earns Soap another slap to the shoulder, to which he laughs like a damn schoolboy. Your eyes are glued to his hair, studying it carefully. You didn’t have much experience even trimming it on somebody else, so this was a bit nerve-wracking – you didn’t want to mess up and make Johnny look worse. Although not a lot of things could look genuinely bad on the man, you were willing to admit that. You finally take the scissors that have been sitting on the edge of the sink for the past half hour and pinch the longer stand that fell over Johnny's eyes between your index and middle fingers. “Well, what are you waiting for? Cut it.” He tries to hurry you, and you can’t even see the way he observes your expression - brows tied together in a thoughtful frown, Johnny thought it looked quite cute.

“Shut up, I’m thinking.” Your eyes rise to the mirror again and he playfully rolls his eyes. He doesn’t say anything though, letting you take your time, as you put down the scissors. You start ruffling Johnny’s hair again and you see the way he closes his eyes in the reflection, a warm smile stretching his lips. Your hand rests on the side of his face for a moment and not even a second passes, before you feel Soap’s palm rest over it in a gentle motion. But it doesn’t end on it, when he rubs his cheek over your skin, his stubble scratching you slightly. You let him have this moment though.

You look at his hair, as you ruffle and play with it using your free hand, and your realization makes you want to bash your head on the wall. You like it better like this. This is stupid and you feel like an idiot. At least you had an idea on how you can tell Johnny that you changed your mind about cutting his hair. Your fingers dive into his hair again, scratching the scalp lightly with the nails as you give your final verdict, looking at his reflection in the mirror.

“I don’t think I can make it any worse than it already is, to be honest. Somebody fucked you over real good with that one.” You lie right to his face. Johnny opens his eyes and gives you a mischievous smile when he hears that.

“So, what I hear is you’re chickening out?’ He asks with a light, airy laugh that makes even the cold bathroom feel warmer.

“Johnny, get out of here before I shave you bald”

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[koenigami]

Knight!Kunigami x Queen!reader vol.1 synopsis : beautiful, stubborn, and powerful. she didn't need him, yet her heart craved him so desperately. strong, protective, and brave. he has never known fear, except when it came to her well-being. tags : royal au, fem!reader, fluff, slight angst, mentions of death, misogyny (not from kunigami) wc : 1.9k a/n : probably going to turn this into a series but updates will be very slow .. જ⁀➴ masterlist

“Sir Kunigami, as the captain of the knights, your duties are limited, as your title already implies, to the supervision of the knights. And those unmistakably have nothing to do with my own duties.”  

You could very well be talking to the cold, unmoving walls since this kind of conversation with your recently recruited captain of the royal knights was nothing new. Whether it concerned the safety precautions of the castle or of the entire kingdom, or the tactical decisions regarding your troops. When you said left, he said right. And under other circumstances, you would never allow someone to contradict you, especially not in the way that he did it.

The way that everyone else did. As if doubting your authority as the lone ruling head of this kingdom, and that solely because you did not have a king by your side. Ever since your husband’s demise after a short, gruesome illness, you were constantly faced with disapproval and criticism, most of it stamming from your own family. Distant relatives who claimed that the passing of your husband had an impact on the legitimacy of your title, who reminded you countless times to look for a suitable partner.

Your sole comfort and strongest pillar was your advisor, Noa. At a young age, he had already been assigned to the role of the captain of the knights, had served your father and the kingdom with nothing but utter devotion until a grave injury had left him no choice but to retire from his position. He was as well the reason why you tolerated Kunigami’s importunate behaviour since he had been the very first person who had come to Noa’s mind to replace him and step into his shoes. Now, there was no denying that Kunigami Rensuke fulfilled the tasks of his newly assigned role formidably. A strong man, a patriotic citizen, a skilled warrior, a trustworthy leader, and a loyal subject of the queen. So loyal that he could not seem to stop interfering in your affairs. 

During the visit of your uncle, the duke, earlier that day, a small disagreement between you two had swiftly escalated, leading to Kunigami drawing his sword and pointing it, yes, at the duke.

Your uncle had come with a, in his eyes, formidable message from a neighbouring kingdom whose king had apparently declared himself ready for possible negotiations about an arranged marriage from which supposedly your own nation would benefit a lot. Nonetheless, you had not let your uncle explain any further and interrupted his detailed explanations and excited rambling with a simple No.

“In a world ruled by men, I will gladly be the exception and demonstrate that my gender does not determine my competences. My father-” “Your father was a fool just like you, child!” your uncle had called out, the anger and frustration evident on his reddened face. He had always been of short temper, however something about your refusal today had unleashed a kind of anger inside him that you rarely got to see. So when he had taken a step towards your throne, the discussion had immediately been interrupted by the sound of a sword being unsheathed. 

“I want everyone to leave.” you had ordered as soon as the duke had left, gaze not drifting away from Kunigami for even an instant. He had clearly understood that your command was not addressed to him, and cautiously approached your throne. Once he had deemed himself close enough, he lowered his head and dropped on one knee, staring at the carpet beneath him. It was rich in ornament. Golden floral patterns adorned the red velvety carpeting, an incredible piece shipped in from a continent afar. Just like the dress of yours.

Though in your case, it was not the gilded designs and motifs that made the gown look so magnificent. Layers upon layers of skirts, of course only the finest materials, and long elegant sleeves that accentuated your arms in the most flattering way, bodice clinging to your skin and hugging your waist perfectly; Kunigami swore he had never been so envious of a piece of fabric. 

“Threatening my uncle-” you shook your head in disbelief, not daring to imagine how the situation would have ended if it weren’t for you. “Under different circumstances, he would have ordered decapitation upon you. This shall be your last warning. If you won’t cease to meddle and intervene in my affairs, despite there not being any necessity for it, you will be stripped of your title as the captain.” 

“Your highness, may I have a word, please?” 

“You may.” a defeated sigh left your painted lips, while you were ready to be wrapped around his finger as per usual when it came to Kunigami Rensuke. Yes, you tolerated his missteps for Noa’s sake, yet there was no use in denying that you were doing it for the underlying sympathy that you held for the knight in front of you.

“I understand your discontent, and I truly apologise if my manners were out of place.” he lifted his right clenched fist to his chest right over his heart. “But you must understand that I’m merely trying to fulfil my duties by looking out for you. It’s my responsibility to ensure your safety, as well as the peace inside of our homeland-” 

“By disregarding my commands and decisions?” Despite the irritation seething inside you, you spoke calmly, leisurely standing up, leaving the throne behind you as you walked step by step towards Kunigami, your long gown sliding along the carpet. “By threatening a family member of mine even though I had everything under control?” 

During your discussion with your uncle, Kunigami had been scrutinising the duke and assessed his every move as if even a single eye twitch of his could cause you harm. Once he had witnessed his outburst, he had not hesitated to draw his sword as a silent warning. And he would do it again if necessary.

“I see, you’ve trained your guard dogs well. Though, mark my words. They will not always be able to protect you.” your uncle’s words still lingered in your mind, like the plague infesting and not leaving anytime soon.

“Do you also believe that I need a male companion by my side? Is that why you keep meddling in my business? Because you don’t deem myself capable enough to rule our homeland by myself?” He would neither be the first nor the last one to doubt you. “Because I’m not strong enough to-”

“Because you’re a woman!” 

Ever since joining the knights as a youngster, Kunigami had witnessed you overcoming all possible miseries that could fall upon someone. From a marriage of convenience with barely any love, to the loss of your parents, and lastly even your husband’s demise. The strength and confidence that you carried within you were remarkable, yet not enough to come up against the kinds of people that you had to face in your world. It was not common for a woman to rule without a king. Women like you served merely as an asset, as another trophy for greedy and conceited men to show off their properties. So when Noa had informed Kunigami about his promotion, he had seen it as his obligation to shield you from any further hardships.

His impulsive words bounced off the high walls, echoing through the hall while his eyes finally met yours. Regret. That is what you could immediately discern in them as soon as he looked up at you, silence filling the room and engulfing the both of you in a veil of suffocating tension. 

“You’re implying that my femininity is a weakness, Sir Kunigami?” He swallowed at the sound of your sweet, calm voice, like a siren luring him into the deathly depths of the sea. “Your Highness, that’s not what I-”

“That me being a woman would put me at a disadvantage while facing a man- No, pardon. A male?” He had failed to realise that you were approaching him with each tentatively uttered word, as the space between you progressively got smaller, the intoxicating smell of your perfume wafting through his nose. “Now pray tell me, Sir Kunigami. If you would not take my status into consideration, would my womanhood make you superior to me?”

“O-Of course not, Your Highness. I was merely trying to say that men can be unpredictable beasts. Amidst their violent immorality and unscrupulousness, my priority is to protect you.” His steadfastness was one of the many things that you admired about him. Even while being at your mercy, he never hesitated to state his honest and principled opinion, whether you liked it or not. It was his compassion and sense for righteousness that made him stand out from other knights. From other men. 

“Is that so? Then what about you?” 

“I beg your pardon?” He swallowed, nervosity slowly setting in. 

“If men are, like you worded it … beasts, who’s protecting me from you, Sir Kunigami?” 

“I would rather die than allow myself to be any form of danger to you, Your Highness.” The heaviness of his phrase settled on your chest, making your breath stagger as you looked into his face. Not an ounce of doubt was visible on it, the fist on his heart clenched tighter as if he were about to rip it out of his chest just to show you the place from which his words stemmed from. 

Another moment of silence passed with neither of you saying anything. As if waiting for the others next move, as if hoping for a sign, as if praying that this internal burning was mutual. You were not sure when it was that Kunigami had gotten up because you only realised it once you felt the warmth of his hand brush along your cheek like a warm ray of sunshine, and tuck a loose strand of your perfect hair behind your ear. 

The large double doors creaked, and before anyone entered, Kunigami had already taken a few steps back and put some respectful distance between the both of you as if burned by the sole touch of your skin. A broad figure appeared, marching towards you and carrying himself with a confidence and gracefulness that you would usually only see from blue-blooded individuals. Kunigami felt his former superior’s icy gaze scrutinise him from head to toe before Noa lowered his head, greeting you politely. 

“Your Highness, I just saw the duke off. I believe-” Again Noa’s eyes travelled from you back to Kunigami before continuing. “We might need to discuss some matters. In private.” 

The gentle nod of yours was Kunigami’s cue to leave, though as he excused himself, you called out to him one last time, your demand stated with firmness. “I expect your presence at my chamber after dinner time.”��

“Yes, Your Highness.” Without wondering or questioning, Kunigami withdrew with a final bow, leaving you alone with Noa. Despite his calm and composed exterior, you could tell that your advisor was keen on hearing about your argument with your uncle, as well as your discussion with Kunigami. Nonetheless, Noa had to admit that your last request had particularly caught his curiosity, wondering what the reason behind it may be. 

Though as you watched the back of the current captain of the knights become smaller with each step that he took before disappearing behind closed doors, you desperately hoped that the reasons behind your palpitating heart weren’t what you thought they were. 

[rustonyourfingers]

Rambling about Vi

ARCANE S2 SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

I've been going through arcane s2 tag but I haven't seen anyone mention this so far, and I really need to talk about it.

This post is about Vi, but more specifically -- Claggor's goggles and their symbolism. We know that Claggor's goggles were one of the things that Jinx kept after her bomb worked, and we know she used them frequently -- we see her wear them every time she works on something both in season 1 and in season 2 as well. Ever since season 1 the goggles were set up as a symbol -- of a life and identity lost, of Jinx's insanity and hallucinations becoming stronger and stronger, of lost innocence and fall into maddness and violence. And I love how now this symbol was passed onto Vi -- in such a vital moment of her journey as well.

Just moments before the group enters that hangout place (also, the way we keep coming back here, after all these years that passed between s1 arc 1 and s2 -- brilliant!) Vi decided to join the Enforcers -- the very people who for decades (at least!!) oppressed people of Zaun and treated them like animals, like dirt on the soles of their shoes that didn't deserve so much as to breathe. In that moment she's besically deciding to betray her people, but most importantly, herself -- the little girl who walked across that bridge and witnessed all the death and destruction the Enforcers sown, saw her own parents' dead bodies laying broken on the ground. She betrayed the older Vi, the one taken by Vander that followed him around, one that dreamt of getting the boot the Enforcers kept on their necks off and ripping it apart, so Zaun would finally be free of their brutality. She betrayed the Vi that was locked in Stillwater, beaten by the Enforcers for the simple crime of existing, to the point when anytime someone approached her cell, that's what she expected -- another beating. Young Vi saw the imbalance of power between the Enforcers and people of Zaun -- and she hated it. The Enforcers always had better weaponry, training, every advantage possible, and they used it in the most vicious way possible -- to oppress, to hurt, to make sure that people of the Undercity would never be recognized as human, as deserving to live and to have rights.

And now, Vi's putting on the badge herself. Now, she's the one with the advantage -- hextech weapons and bioweapons, things that even with the use of shimmer would be extremely hard to fight against. With that one action, Vi became the oppressor -- and while we see her refuse to acknowledge that until the very end of episode 3, to me her picking up those goggles was the first sign of her facing that reality.

Because Clagger's goggles are a symbol of the past -- the past where Vi was fighting for the right cause, to make her family's life better, to make sure there would be no more orphans in the Undercity. Vi is no longer fighting for the right cause -- she is now part of the causeless violence released onto the people of Zaun, onto the civillians, onto the kids. She not only stops to examine the goggles -- no, she picks them up and puts them on her head immediately, as a reminder of who she was, as a reminder of why she was fighting in the first place, as comfort because she no longer is who she was, she no longer fights for what she faught for in the past and she needs to belive that she's making the right choice in following Cait's lead, because if she faces the fact that she became everything she hated, the very thing that made her into the person she was in season 1, that'll break her. And Vi cannot allow herself to break. Not in the past, not now, not ever.

To me, the goggles are such a wonderful and important part leading to a) Vi's breakdown with Cait when she asks Cait to never change, and b) when she sees Isha protect Jinx with her body and aim a gun at her head, and realizing the fact that she's becoming to Isha what the Enforcers were to young Vi and Powder on that bridge, and that she was no longer fighting for the right cause.

Anyway, this is super chaotic, but I love how Clagger and Milo's memory lives on and still haunts the narrative for both Jinx and Vi. Just chef's kiss all around, what a wonderful show.

Also, English isn't my first language so hopefully this all makes sense lol.

[the-thirteenth-prime]

A slightly unhinged ramble-rant on Chairman Rose and how people are missing the entire point of SWSH.

Like, I keep seeing it pop up--like a fucking rank smell you only detect if you’re in a certain place when the wind is blowing in the certain direction--but man does it not bewilder me. Like, these guys who post tags like ‘Chairman Rose is a bad guy but is not a BAD guy’ or ‘I kind of agreed with Chairman Rose’ are just. Are you high?? Did you entirely miss the point of his character?? Did you completely miss the main plot of SWSH?

I’m going to be talking about some heavy shit (including non-sexual child grooming and non-sexual child predation), so I’m gonna put the rest under a read more, let me just say that the theme of SWSH is the relationship between adults and children on their Pokemon journeys, the responsibilities adults have towards children, and what happens when that relationship is abused.

First off, before I get some know-it-all coming at me about how there’s no evidence that Rose is a child predator or a groomer, let me just say there is. Is he a Chris Hansen ‘take a seat for me’ groomer?? No, he’s not, because child grooming is not purely a sexual thing.

Per a very informative article:

“Grooming can be sexual, romantic, financial or for criminal or terrorism purposes, and can target both children and adults. The common aspect is that a perpetrator manipulates a victim by building trust and rapport. The key to grooming is a power dynamic within the relationship: age, gender, physical strength, economic status or another factor.”

Now, with that out of the way, I’m not going to go into shit that’s super obvious to anyone with eyes, but Rose is a serial child groomer. Like, his most obvious victim is Leon, and it’s really wild that people can’t see it?? Like, Leon obviously comes from a fucked-up home situation with a mother who’s absent and neglectful at best (and the people who don’t seem to realize this REALLY confuse me). Like, he has canonically raised his little brother in a house with three adults that could have done the job for him, and the anime literally stated that he was so busy raising Hop and taking care of household chores that he could barely interact with other kids. He was endorsed by Chairman Rose at an age that is implied to be at least two years younger than the average Gym Challenger, and--per the sub of the PokeAni--Rose literally raised him from the moment he became Champion.

(Where was Leon and Hop’s mother during this, you ask? Obviously being terrible at home, since despite Leon being run ragged for all of his life and rarely being home, he still somehow raised his little brother. Let that sink in.)

So Leon has spent his entire life being moulded into Rose’s delusion of the Hero of Galar for the sole purpose of sacrificing himself to defeat Eternatus to stave off an energy crisis that will happen in a millennium and probably would be averted with solar power. THE SUB IN THE POKEANI LITEARLLY HAS ROSE TELLING LEON THAT HE HAS GROOMED HIM FOR THE EXACT PURPOSE OF TAMING ETERNATUS. I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP. I WILL PROVIDE SCREENSHOTS IF ASKED.

Does he know Leon may likely fucking die in the attempt? He sure does, because he’s already started to work on grooming Leon’s replacements! In the game, Bede is a trainer who came from a neglectful home situation who was noticed by the Chairman and given his endorsement for the Gym Challenge wait hold on that sounds really familiar.

Really, REALLY familiar.

Rose’s ploy with taking away Bede’s gym challenger endorsement after Bede literally did what he asked him to was a clear manipulation tactic, and if it hadn’t been for Opal intervening (and she ABSOLUTELY has Rose’s number and you can’t convince me otherwise), the tactic likely would have worked, because Bede would have done anything to get his endorsement back.

(Also Oleana is absolutely the fall girl set up to look like an obstructive villain while Rose can maintain his veneer of innocence. That’s a topic for another day tho.)

AND THEN. in the anime, he flat out tries to do this with Ash. AND IN THE GAME, HE TRIES TO DO THIS WITH THE MC, LIKE BEDE IS HIS PLAN B AND THE PC IS HIS PLAN C. However, the only child Rose has regular chances to interact with who DOES NOT get the manipulation treatment is Hop. Correct me if I’m wrong, but the Chairman always tries to pull shit with you when Hop isn’t around, and the two times he DOES interact with Hop are at the very end of the game where Leon’s been forced into trying to stop the apocalypse and after the Opening Ceremony.

What’s different about the Opening Ceremony, though? LEON IS STANDING RIGHT OVER ROSE’S SHOULDER SMILING STEPFORDLY. Which brings me to my next point: why Rose pulls his end game bullshit.

Leon is now in his early 20s, so he has obviously started to ask for his own agency and say no to things. He has also obviously realized that he does NOT want Rose around his brother, which is why he is fucking looming over Rose’s shoulder when he meets Hop and why Rose almost seems to deliberately avoid Hop for the rest of the game. Rose knows that if he so much as messes with Hop, Leon is going to absolutely turn on him, and he’s already become obstinate enough to be a problem. Rose is losing control of Leon, which is why he’s grooming his potential replacements.

It’s also why Rose LITERALLY HOLDS LEON HOSTAGE IN A TOWER. Like, I am amazed that people haven’t seemed to realize that Hop and the MC were ABSOLUTELY rescuing Leon from a hostage situation. Leon had been on top of the tower with Rose for HOURS at that point, and given Oleana’s personal fucking army and how much Leon clearly did not want to be up there, it’s obvious that there wasn’t a way he could easily extricate himself from the situation. What you do hear from his meeting with Rose sounds a lot like a guy trying to say no while also trying to de-escalate a volatile situation: almost like a victim to their abuser oh wait.

(Oleana also says that the reason she wants to defeat you and Hop is to break Leon’s spirit so he won’t have the strength to say no to the Chairman anymore. Like, that’s literally in game. It’s dialogue.)

So yeah. You’re rescuing a prince from a tower who’s being held hostage by an evil king trying to use the prince’s special power for nefarious purposes. This game is full of fairy tale metaphors. Like, a ton.

When you and Hop show up, you basically force Rose to let Leon go so as to not look like a complete fucking monster or cause a scandal, and Leon basically very politely tells Rose to ‘fuck off’ when he leaves.

So Rose--this narcissistic, megalomaniacal child groomer, who’s basically been shut down by the lynch pin of his plan--does the absolute most rational thing and RELEASES THE APOCALYPSE DEMON OUT OF SPITE. He literally says on a screen in front of Galar that oh no, his releasing Eternatus and causing the Second Darkest Day is actually all LEON’S fault for being so unreasonable and unrealistic. It’s manipulation. It’s emotional abuse. It’s Rose punishing his victim for saying no. It’s Rose throwing a tantrum because Leon told him to wait another week before doing something about something that would happen in a millennium.

Bede made a fool of Rose doing exactly what Rose and Oleana wanted him to do, so he punished him. Leon said no, so he punished him, and punished all of Galar while he was at it. He’s not doing shit for the good of Galar. He’s doing it for himself.

See, the game’s story exists to debate the relationship between adults and children in the Pokemon world. For generation after generation of games, children as young as ten have gone out in the big wide world with nothing but their starter and a Pokedex, and the adults they have met have never had any poor intentions towards them specifically. Yes, there’s all the evil teams and blah blah blah, but they weren’t targeting you, the child MC. You were just caught up in their messes. SWSH is the first game to show that no, there are adults who will try to take advantage of you because you are a child, and there are good adults who will try to protect you.

Opal protects Bede. Leon protects you and Hop. Leon has obviously gotten old enough to realize that what Rose did to him was wrong, and he tries so fucking hard through the whole game to protect you and his little brother from his boss’s machinations and all the bad shit happening in the world. I know people bitch about being ‘railroaded’ and not allowed to participate in the ‘plot’ until the end, but that’s the point. The good adults are trying to protect the children from the bad adults trying to harm them, and the children intervene only when the adults die trying to save them. Children should be allowed to adventures and have fun, but they should also be protected and shielded from shit that can harm them and shit they’re not old enough to understand, and this game--for better or for worse--is trying to strike that balance.

One last, very important thing. Leon’s life had been micromanaged and controlled from the moment he became Champion by Chairman Rose. He had to become all things to Galar--its fucking policeman, it’s regional hero, it’s unbeatable symbol of perfection, it’s hero, and--almost--its messiah--and when the MC becomes a Champion? He doesn’t hesitate to become Chairman, and he tells you--the new Champion--that your job is to explore and have fun. He doesn’t ask you to do sponsorship deals. He lets you do matches and tournaments at your own leisure. He calls you politely to ask if you want to do the Galarian Star Tournament. He doesn’t even know your PHONE NUMBER and I think about that a lot.

The game is about the responsibilities adults have towards children. It’s about how you don’t have to be the main character to be the hero. It’s about how you can’t and shouldn’t do everything alone. It’s about how child predation and abuse don’t have to be obvious or ‘traditional’ to be real and a threat. Finally, as Leon demonstrates so poignantly, it’s about breaking the cycle of abuse.

And THAT’S why SWSH is one of the best stories--if not THE best--that the Pokegames have ever told, regardless of its faults and the National Dex and a berry tree looking a little weird.

[torchickentacos]

PLEASE elaborate on solidad thoughts :o

ABSOLUTELY! 1 AM rambling ahead, coherence may vary.

Solidad is ICONIC. She is the MOMENT. She is AMAZING. She was only in three episodes (save for silent cameos), and yet her impact on the (CS but also general) fandom far outweighs the brevity of her canon appearance. We saw Solidad less than we saw Angie, Lyra, Robert, Morrison, and I think Tyson's Meowth, yet I'm pretty confident in saying that she had a stronger fandom impact than all of them. (Brianna's in that club of 'impact outweighs her appearance', too- for a character of the day, Brianna really cemented herself as a staple CS fanfic problem-causer. She had twenty minutes, a goddamn problem, and a dream, and I support her tbh.)

But back to Sol, I really enjoy that she had such a wide impact with such a small appearance. Not only in the fandom as a recurring character in many people's creative projects, but in canon itself! WIthout her, Drew would have read as a different character in those final episodes. She provides a softer context to him that we rarely get to see.

She exists solely to further Drew's development as a character, but she does a good job of it. I have specific feelings about that, I wish she'd been given more time to be a character in her own right, but she's instrumental to the character arcs that we see in AG, even though she only pushed it forward at the end. I feel the same about Drew, though- he only exists around May. You cannot talk about Solidad without talking about Drew, and you cannot talk about Drew without talking about May. I wish we had more of those characters on their own, but anyways.

She's a view into Drew that we'd been severely lacking up to that point. She's insightful in her dialogue to May, but also in her discussions on screen with Drew. It's just nice seeing Drew interact with people who are not May, which he never does. We get to see more of his personality come out around Sol, parts we don't usually see because he's too busy tunnel-visioning. (Note to self, I need to clip every time Drew talks to May and every time he talks to someone else and compare the runtimes because I bet it's going to be, like, a twenty minute difference, but anyways).

Solidad comes across as a former mentor of sorts, and it's nice seeing Drew interact with someone with that sense of respect (which he usually lacks). I think for May, it's also really fun to see her talk to Solidad- because Solidad respects May. It's just a really fun dynamic that adds balance to May and Drew. Drew's shown as stronger than May up to this point, but Sol is much stronger than him and yet respects May, and it's just a fun way to sort of even the playing field, if that makes sense? Solidad bridges a gap there; her career respect of May paired with her career superiority over Drew just really hammers in how far May has come by the Kanto Grand Festival, if her main rival's stronger rival sees her in such a positive light. I hope that made at least 5% sense.

I think also, going into more shitposty territory, I love Solidad's personality. She comes across as this mature, well-spoken, composed, respectful older sister type, but you look closer and she's actually such a shit-stirrer 😭 She point-blank told May that Drew has, and I quote, "Feelings for you" (shoutout to my queue tag, feelings for queue), and she's friends with Harley so her ethical code must be at least flexible, and she is, IMO, the reason that The Absol Scene goes as poorly as it does (Drew obviously went to the woods to train and be alone for a reason, as he is Not Doing Well, so Solidad... checks notes, calls him out in front of his crush WHICH SOL KNOWS and also like 5 other people when he's already in a fragile state. great job girl💀). Like, under the cool and collected exterior she is SUCH a problem-causer. A tea-spiller. She'd submit coordinator blinds to deuxmoi, I know this in my heart. I think it's so fun though because from her canon actions, you can extrapolate that she's someone who does her own thing if she thinks it's right and without input or permission, regardless of if it's actually right or not, and that's kind of where my joke about her being Chaotic Lawful comes in. I think she does have a strong sense of right and wrong, but I think it's a very Solidad-specific sense and not one that is, you know, rooted in a binary that most people would understand or assume to be the case lol.

This is so unstructured, but she's just fun and I like rambling about her. I also like that she only has Kanto pokemon, I love her backstory with Drew, I like that she knows Brock and Harley, she's just really interesting for a three-eipsode character!

[seneitut]

“Gentleness”

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[Yoru/Healer!Reader]

Words: 6K

Tags: Mentions of anxiouness, bantering, technicality of the game and map Haven, fluff, blood.

[This was long overdue!!!! It took me a long while but here is the first part! Second part coming tomorrow or in a couple of days! It also has drawings uwu Hope you like em!]

Resquested by: @oyasumimosura !!

-----------------------------------------------------

Breathing in, breathing out. 

Those are the words you've been repeating in your head for the past couple of minutes, trying to focus your sole attention on breathing instead of the anxiousness wanting to consume you. 

Opening your eyes, you gaze upon your reflection in the mirror with a nervous expression painting your features. 

The eye bags under your eyes are a telltale of the poor night's sleep you've gotten, and you hope no one looks closely to you to ask about it. There is nothing you can do to mask your exhaustion and the way you look, so you bear with it, avoiding the mirror and turning to stare at your unmade bed instead.

The tremble in your hands is manageable, you think, and so is the ability to mask your stress. But not even planning out your interactions nor replies to questions that haven't been asked yet, or never, is enough to relax you.

“Hey, you alright in there?” 

The voice of Sage is accompanied by soft knocking outside your door. The concern in her voice is palpable, since you haven't showed up yet and your reunion was due almost fifteen minutes ago.

“Y-yeah! Just, um, fixing my clothes.” You reply awkwardly, giving thumbs up to the closed door and immediately absconding your hands when you realize the dumb action. Sage doesn't need to know that. “I-I'm sorry for the lateness, I'll be going in a second…or several…”

There is silence for a moment, and you worry you may have upset her for being irresponsible.

Then, she speaks again, “Mind if I join you for a little bit?”

Weighting the pros and cons, you don't let your brain finish that train of thought and act upon your want.

Opening the door is a lot less anti-climatic than you initially thought. Instead, relief floods your system as soon as Sage steps in and takes your hands into hers, caressing the skin softly with a gentle expression on her features.

“I'm here.” she mutters, leading you to the bed. “Let's breathe together, alright?”

“I've been doing that.” is your reply. She smiles.

“Good, that's good.” Her hand never stops holding yours. “Do it once more with me, indulge me?”

You nod, following her instructions until your heartbeat pumps to a steady rhythm.

The breathing sessions for your anxiety is something you haven't done together in a long while. Maybe since she left China to pursue a more fulfilling life, leaving behind many friends and family who missed her dearly, and for you to learn to live without her by your side.

The thought that you've been reunited, even under not a joyful situation, is enough to make you smile and forget about what will cement your life from now on in a couple of minutes. Having her here, holding your hands and gently massaging the skin gives you a wave of nostalgia that you cannot help but tear up a little bit.

“What's wrong?” She asks, a frown between her brows. 

“I'm just…overwhelmed, I think.” Sniffing back some tears, you give her the best smile you can offer, but it falters under so much pressure. “It’s been so long since I’ve had you by my side. And I’m so worried about what is going to happen once I step out of this room because I don’t know if I’m going to be enough for the team nor don’t know if my qualities will fit and, what if I get killed? What if I get my teammates killed? What then?”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” She manages to have your attention, cutting your rambling off. The tears that were welling up have cleared up by now, which gives Sage a sense of comfort and one less thing to worry about. “You won’t mess things up, I have full trust in you and your judgment, it’s why I brought you here.”

“But-”

“No, dear, stop there.” Sage stands up, pulling you alongside her. “You’re gonna be okay, I will make sure of it. Do you trust me?”

You nod, “Of course I do!” 

“Then believe in my words. Everything is going to be okay.”

And you do. You trust Sage's words and follow after her without any doubt clouding your mind, but nervousness.

If she says you will be okay, you believe it.

—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—

The meeting you have is brief and to the point.

Sage introduces you to Brimstone, the one who founded Valorant and the one in charge to recruit agents to their lines to protect their world from radiants who come from another dimension.

The thing about having mirrors of themselves and having to fight them till death doesn't come as a surprise; rather new knowledge acquired and something to investigate for future reference, fascinated by such a thing.

Besides Brimstone there is another agent, Viper, who seems to be part of the lead in the protocol alongside Sage. She is sharp with her words and straightforward with her expectations, upfront with what she wants you to bring to the team and communicate what's needed.

All three, despite their differences in personalities, welcome you to what's going to be your home for the next years to come.

“We need you to train constantly,” is what Brimstone asks of you. “To have discipline and focus on missions. Besides our utility, having to learn self-defense and the usage of guns is important when we are deployed to prevent catastrophes.”

Vipes joins in the conversation, “Sage has mentioned you both have trained for a long time before all this disaster. I'm expecting nothing but the same skills and more from you.”

Gulping, you nod, “Of course.”

Sage glances at you from the other side of the room, spectating the conversation unfolding, and ready to chime in if necessary to help you out.

“Good.” Viper stands up from her chair after a couple of seconds, gathering her folders and hands you a sort of phone. “First mission assigned will be tomorrow. Ask Killjoy or Cypher for blueprints and get to know your teammates and their abilities before being deployed.”

The device is rectangle and the size of a cell phone, with the screen showing your name and a code to access it. 

“Configure this as you'd prefer, the agents use this to organize and contact each other when we are sent on missions.” Viper dials a password and the screen lights up in a soft glow to show folders and a message chat box. “Set a password to your liking and bring it with you if necessary.”

Eyeing the device, you breathe out your nervousness before directing her a smile, “Thank you.” 

“That will be it.”

Viper excuses herself after that, leaving the room swiftly with Brimstone following after her to discuss some matters. 

Is not after several seconds glancing between the door to where Sage was standing that you finally crumble under the pressure and groan in despair.

“Who the fuck is Killjoy? Or Cypher, for that matter? How am I supposed to configure this to my liking if this is work related?” You begin. “I don't even know my other teammates, how am I supposed to know their abilities and learn about them in such short notice?!”

Turning to Sage, your panic heightnes, “It hasn't been ten minutes and I'm already fucking things up!”

Sage huffs in exasperation, approaching you with a grin and ignoring your stare and pout, “Unlock the device, dear. Go directly to the first folder it shows, there are basic profiles with pictures and names of the other agents.” When you do as asked, she scrolls through the multiple faces staring at you, “You don't have to learn all their names at once, it takes time to become acquainted with most of them outside missions and the base is really big for everyone to be at one place.”

“B-but how will I know which one of them is assigned on the same mission as I do?” You are becoming rapidly anxious, hands trembling and completely out of the character you introduced yourself to Brimstone and Viper.

Sage caresses your back softly, “Once we ask Killjoy for the blueprints, we can ask her to lend us the name of the agents on the team.”

You nod, exhaling a big puff of air from the nervousness. 

Opening the device, you scroll through the list until you land on the name of Killjoy. The face of a woman in black hair and bright colored clothes greets you, and is for certain you won’t be able to miss her out if you were to encounter her.

“We can look for her together, if you wish?” Sage asks, grinning softly. 

“Please?”

With her reassurance and the knowledge of Killjoy's appearance, you exit the meeting's room with idle chatting to keep your mind occupied.

Sage is kind enough to start explaining Killjoy's abilities to fill in the silence. From her techwear and brilliant brain, she is one of the top techs inside the protocol alongside Cypher who have been able to develop technology not a simple human mind would understand.

All Killjoy is able to do sounds from a futuristic world, repairing and creating with the mere tools the earth provides her.

“She created the devices, programmed the security information with Cypher's help, and repaired one of the agents on our side.”

Cocking your head to the side, you ask, “Repair as in, fixed? Operated a limb or something like that?”

Sage giggles, “No, dear, she literally repaired an agent, from scratch and missing parts. A robot, if you may.”

When you cross the threshold of the practice range, you finally understand what she meant.

“A sentient robot?!”

Behind the closed doors, you see in amazement a robot-like-human fight alongside a couple of agents against another…robot? Firing bullets non-stop and jumping from side to side to avoid the agent's offensive stance.

“Killjoy seems to be training as well.” She muses. 

You watch in silence the fight unfold, analyzing their work and action while they mesh their abilities together to defeat the common enemy. Is amazing how flawless and swiftly they move across the battlefield to look for cover or simply repositioning to counterattack.

“Found you.” 

Brimstone's voice startles you, turning around to watch him enter the room with his eyes set on what's going on behind the glass.

“We need to leave in a few minutes; Breeze and Split.” He announces. Sage nods, pointing to the range.

“Got some people on here to join in.” 

He surveys the people inside, scratching his bear in contempt before sighing, defeated.

“Tell Raze to sit this one out and bring Astra, it is time to ruin the party for these youngsters.” Brimstone motions behind you, “Yoru, you're coming with them to Split, be there in fifteen.”

You hear a scoff, “Of course you need me.”

Turning around, you see a man sitting at the edge of the glass toying with kingdom credits at the palm of his hand. He's covered from head to toe in blue themed clothes, which you find funny for someone who looks as gloomy as he does.

Is it not after you're finished eyeing him do you realize he's been doing the same to you and scoffs again, as if offended, when your eyes cross paths.

Feeling self-conscious, you avoid him entirely for the rest of Sage and Brimstone's conversation.

“I'll be leaving now, Killjoy is coming with us too.” Sage points at the other side of the room, spotting a person playing chess by themselves and wearing some set of interesting clothing. “That's Cypher, you can talk to him about the blueprints, he is a kind man, but be careful of entertaining him with your personal information.”

“Huh?” 

Sage whispers in your ear, “He has eyes everywhere, be careful.”

Bidding goodbye to Sage proves to be harder than you anticipated, anxiousness starting to consume you the moment she leaves your side at a place you have no guidance nor idea how to navigate by yourself just yet.

The moment of truth comes now, you think, when you turn around and begin walking towards Cypher. He has not spotted you yet, continuing with his game in silence, and it gives you time to think about how to approach in conversation. 

So deep in thought, you collide against a surface so hard you have to take two steps back to steady yourself. When you raise your eyes, you meet Yoru's jet-black eyes staring you down with annoyance written on his expression.

“Move away, little shit.” 

Yoru pushes you away and enters the range, not glancing back for a second and makes his way to the group gathering at the center.

When the door closes, you hear a man chuckle deeply. 

“Say now, first day and causing trouble?” Cypher turns his head, a gloved hand toying with a coin. The blue of his masked and robotic eyes are eerie, it makes you uncomfortable, “Mind if we play a game?”

“Cypher, right?” you ask. He nods at the chess board.

“Glad to make acquaintances.”

Sitting in front of him, you watch him rearrange the pieces to start over a new game. He barely glances at you when he rotates the board for you to start first, waving his hand in presentation.

“Go on, let’s see what you’re made of.”

The first few moves none of you say anything, concentrating on the game rather than the task you’ve been asked to do. Is refreshing though, having something else to focus on. 

You’re partly thankful to Cypher for not obligating you to talk, humming to himself and enjoying the game in his own  way. His moves are very calculating and thoughtful, watching under scrutinized robotic eyes your movements and choices before making one for himself.

Is not until he has you on a chokehold that he leans on his chair, crossing his arms, that he decides to speak for the first time, “You are very patient, little one.”

“Hm?” Looking up, you smile nervously at him, “Isn't this game about that?”

Chuckling, Cypher moves his king and switches places with his rook, “Most of it, yes, of course. But this game is more about analyzing your enemy rather than being patient in making your moves.”

You move a pawn, Cypher kills it with his knight. Deciding to sacrifice the queen for a play, you kill one of his bishops.

“Check.” 

Cypher hums, thrumming his fingers on the table.

“Interesting.” 

He moves his king further away, you cock your eyebrow in questioning but don't say anything. Returning your queen to the previous positioning, you begin considering your next moves when suddenly, Cypher moves his knight an inch closer to your king. 

“Check.”

Huffing under your breath, you move your king, but by the time you notice what you've done, is already too late.

Cypher laughs, moving his rook to kill your king in one swift move, “Check mate.”

Your pouting elicits another laugh from the sentinel, toying with a coin between his fingers.

“You see, you would have won that if you were a little more observing.” he says, closing the chessboard and putting the pieces away. “My moves were easily readable, and my intentions clear. You had the upper hand when it comes to quantity in pieces but didn’t use it to your advantage.”

“I didn’t want to use it and lose them.” is your answer. “Didn’t even notice the position of your pieces, only the king.”

Cypher hums, nodding alongside your words, “Interesting, why is that?”

Flabbergasted at his question, you raise a brow, “What do you mean why? Isn’t that the whole point of the game?”

“Of course, the whole point is to corner the king, right? But why do you have more pieces at play if you aren’t gonna use them to fulfill the goal?”

Cypher leans in, tipping his hat back and squinting his blur orbs, “This game is about sacrificing things intelligently to obtain what you need.”

“Isn't sacrificing an odd word to use on a chess game?” you are at a loss to what he's trying to say.

“It applies to evertything, anything!” he smiles under his mask, but you are unable to see it. “Say, are you ready to do that on the battlefield? To sacrifice people to destroy the enemy?”

Frowning deeply, you begin to question the real intentions Cypher had when inviting you to this game. All you wanted was for some information regarding your mission tomorrow, not for some psychological reading from someone who you just met.

He seems pensive and awaiting, crossing his fingers and relaxing against his chair. Gulping down, you decide you don’t want to talk about this matter and rather ask for what you came in the first place.

“Sage told me you might know about my mission tomorrow and who are those assigned,” tugging at the ring in your index finger, you distract yourself to avoid looking him in the eyes. “Do you mind giving me the information?”

It takes him a while to answer you, eerie seconds where Sage's absence feels like a sore thumb and you start doubting your place at the protocol. 

When Cypher laughs, as if you've told a funny joke, it doesn't help with your anxiousness nor quell it. He doesn't seem bothered by your reaction, either, it almost looks like it fuels him to keep teasing you to his liking.

“Haven, China.” He replies, “Viper, Skye, Phoenix and Yoru.”

“I know Viper, I don't know the other three.”

“Better time to start learning then,” he says, “Get well known with the place, too, since is going to be quite the hastle.”

Blinking owlishly, you turn on your device to look for the names of the agents mentioned, scrolling through the list until you land on Phoenix and Skye, the ones you haven't met yet, and Yoru, the recent addition to your I'm scared of them list. 

To think you will have to team up with these menacing looking people has you trembling with fear. And to top it off, Sage won't be able to help you out if you were to have doubts, so this will be all you.

“When I asked you earlier if you were ready to sacrifice people for the sake of the goal, it wasn't just to poke fun or annoy you,” Cypher stands from the chair, tucking the chessboard under his arm. “Your teammates are ready to put you on the line if it means the enemy won't steal the radianite. You have to be willing to do the same.”

“My goal is for no one to perish on the mission.” you admit, mouth tugging into a frown. “I won't play with that mindset.”

He shrugs, “Suit yourself. But think about what I'm saying. There will be a moment where you will hesitate between a sacrifice that will help you, or die being foolish.”

Walking away, he bids you goodbye, “I wish you the best of luck on your first mission. I hope you don't die.”

With the bitter farewell and an unsettling feeling starting to bloom in your chest, you are left alone with your turbulent thoughts and a bad taste in your mouth.

Sage isn't there for when you break down.

x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x—x

The trip to Haven takes longer than expected.

It’s located near the mountains in China, close to most monk temples surrounding the green area and hiding from the biggest cities. 

When you first heard about its whereabouts and the chaos that ensued when the omega agents tried to attack it, you couldn’t believe what you were hearing. Horrified was a short term for what you felt when they showed the images of what was left of the ruins and what Kingdom had tried to do to extract the radianite and, later on, the omega agents.

Maybe this is the reason you were assigned to this mission; to face the atrocities the counterparts have done and want to do, and for you to protect a place that was once dear to your people.

Phoenix has sensed your apprehension when meeting them for the first time, and now he is witness to how much this first task was toiling on you. And to ease your worries and try to distract you, he’s been chatting with you since the moment you stepped on the jet, making silly jokes or bringing up different topics to keep your mind occupied.

Sadly, it seemed nothing was working, so perhaps it was better to take down the doubts from its roots.

“Seriously, girlie, by the time you have to rotate to any site, we will be done and ready to pack up and go home.” He places his hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly, but firmly. “You don't have to worry, alright?”

“Y-yeah, sure.” 

“Besides, you've got a team with the best agents at the protocol; we got you covered, aight?” 

Believing Phoenix's words is hard, but you nod anyway, thankful for his attempt to make you feel better and his constant reassurance. 

The hand that soothes your back and his warm smile is enough to calm your nerves, returning the kind smile and simply breathing to keep you steady.

From the other side of the jet, Yoru grimaces at your heartfelt conversation, finding it pointless and somewhat cheesy to try and comfort a soldier who is about to face a war they are obviously not ready for. 

Not his place to intervene, in truth, but he hopes you won't ruin this mission for any of them. It would be a pain in the ass to drag your dead body back to the headquarters and have to explain this to Sage.

“Relax that frown, mate, we haven't engaged in combat yet.” 

Skye stands next to him, a playful smile on her lips and crossing her arms. He only huffs, annoyed to be interrupted but fine enough to be talking to her.

“The newbie will probably stall us, why assign her to us?” he asks. Skye raises a brow. “We can probably bring Killjoy's turret and that thing might do more for the team than her.”

“Hey now, you are just being rude for no reason.” She chastises. “Besides, that’s a big one coming from someone who flashed the rest of his teammates on their first mission.”

Blushing, Yoru turns his head to the other side, grunting unpleasantly. “Is not my fault you don’t know how to avoid flashes.”

“Oh yeah?” Skye whistles, catching Phoenix and your attention, “Yoru here says we don’t know how to avoid flashes, ain’t that bullshit now?”

“What now?! Aren’t you the one who complains the most about my flashes here?” Phoenix leaves your side to go and defend his honor, “You are such a selfish bastard, always working on his own, tsk.”

Phoenix turns to you, pointing an accusatory finger at Yoru, “Careful tagging with him, this ass will probably bait the heck outta yo’ ass to kill the enemy.”

“Not to mention he won’t listen to any of our strategies when we get there, hah.” Skye rolls her eyes, sitting down next to you. “Say, I know you are Sage’s protegé, but we don’t know what you can do, care to fill me in? Mayhaps you can also flash for us.”

Giving a dry laugh, your eyes travel to Phoenix who is watching you with excitement in his eyes, obviously eager to listen to your answer. Yoru is glaring at you from accross the jet, arms crossed on top of his chest and just like the rest, awaiting for your reply.

“Um, I don't flash.” You tug at your cuffins to distract yourself, “I can heal, I can revive people, too.”

“You're basically saying you are Sage 0.2, right?” Yoru rolls his eyes, bored of such an underwhelming revelation. 

Phoenix slaps his shoulder, frowning, “Don't be rude.”

“Am I wrong, though?” 

“That's a poor choice of words, Yoru.” Skye chimes in. “If their abilities are similar, then we have a strategy to work around easily.”

“But I—”

“Oh yeah? The difference is way too big for you to not notice that we will be playing like guards so she can heal us. Or better yet, revive us.” The engines of the jet turns off, signaling they have arrived. “At least Sage does her part in killing the enemies.”

Before anyone could retort to him, Yoru stands and takes his vandal with him, opening the door and simply walking out.

Viper comes out of the cockpit with a bulldog in hand, mask on and a determined fierce gaze surveying her teammates.

“Is there any problem?” She asks, cocking an eyebrow. 

Phoenix huffs, shrugging his shoulders, “The usual with Yoru.”

She nods in understanding, reloading her weapon and signaling you to follow after her.

“Yoru will be taking A site with Skye, Phoenix will survey C site with me holding garage doors,” turning to you, she throws a phantom at your hands. “You will wall up B site and hold site, leaning towards A if necessary. We will defend and hold as long as we can, if the pressure gets the better of you, we will retake together.” 

“Righty-o” Skye replies. She grabs a guardian and sets off. Phoenix pats your back and gives you a thumbs up before setting off to his designated site.

Viper walks away without giving you another glance, sure of herself and the indications given. 

Despite feeling like you could trust Phoenix's words and believe in your teammates, the dread of anything going wrong clouds your mind deeply.

There is nothing you can do right now, but play your part calmly.

Haven is prettier in person, with foliage decorating part of the landside and tall trees hovering in the distance. The destroyed part of this place is painful to see, but you know there is nothing else you can do, except protect it as best as your abilities.

B site has an entrance in the middle overlooking mid and window; there are many angles to hold and so little to gamble if you were not sure of your aim. There is some reason as to why Viper asked you to wall it up and simply hold.

If the enemy were to take control of B site, the retake would be pretty difficult to handle.

“The Omega agents have landed just now.” Skye says through the earpiece. “We heard some commotion towards A short, but they haven't made their way yet.”

“Keep us updated. Let me know when to put up the smoke.” Is Viper's reply.

Breathing in heavily, you heard faint footsteps outside B site, close to window and walking towards garage doors. Your hands twiches, hesitant of walling up or simply hold an angle.

Should you warn her? Should you be saying something? The logic tells you to raise your wall to boost yourself up and peak mid, but you are terrified of facing more than you can handle.

“I heard people outside B site, Viper, be careful.” And sure enough, it is not until a few seconds later that you hear a bulldog fire and Viper's voice coming through after a few moments.

“Got the one in garage, I heard one running away. Still no sign of the spike.”

Phoenix's voice chimes in, “No one is C long either, these damn fuckers scared or something? I can start flanking them.”

“Hold your positions until we get further intel.” Viper contradicts, “We have the numbers, we don’t need to risk it. Be patient.”

A couple of seconds goes by, and from afar, you hear the hit pitched sound of a bird and popping, and from the sky, you see balls of smoke drop like bombs towards A site.

Panic seizes you the moment Skye's voice comes through the earpiece with gunshots in the background. Viper’s wall rises immediately and you lose sight of mid, frightened and alarmed that something might have happened to them.

“I’m walling up B site and helping them hold the site.” You call through the earpiece, you see Phoenix approach rapidly through C link. “Viper, are you holding garage for a rotation or will you flank?”

“I’m holding the site, go help them.” 

Phoenix nods at you, a determined expression on his face. “Let’s go.”

All that comes after that is a blur.

You remember listening to Yoru grunt through the comms, Phoenix ulting from CT when you enter the site without any regards to your wellbeing and, most of all, pain.

Is as chaotic as you might think, smokes everywhere, Viper’s screams through the earpiece, warning you about Omega Sage reviving the one she killed in garage and Viper having to back down because she got hurt.

You have lost the count on how many times you’ve been flashed by the enemy and your own teammates because you were careless; throwing yourself on the battlefield and firing bullets through the smoke to stop their advances because you didn’t know what to do. 

Once Viper’s wall runs out of toxin, you are way too deep into site to look for cover, facing both Omega Brimstone and a Sova pointing their guns at you. 

A chill runs down your spine when they fire at you, watching in slow motion as the bullets make their way to your head and you are unable to stop your demise.

You feel a tug on your waist, and suddenly, you are standing at CT while the firing continues.

A sudden wave of nausea hits you, losing your footing and landing against a firm chest for leverage. Looking up, you see Yoru frowning at you, arms holding onto your waist and barely being able to hold his own weapon to steady you.

“Get a grip of yourself, we need to get back there.” he exclaims, but doesn’t pushes you away.

Phoenix returns right at that moment, his ult running out of time and been able to restore to full health once again. 

When he sees you two standing there, he immediately panics.

“Skye is alone out there!” Reloading his gun, he pushes through the smoke. 

You grip your phantom, thanking Yoru with a soft whisper and following after Phoenix to try and help Skye out before it is too late. You hear his teleport, guessing he’s throwing himself into battle once again.

You follow after Phoenix through the smoke and, to your horror, he serves as a shield when Omega Reyna swings from A short, injuring him heavily but giving you enough time to use him as a distraction to kill her.

Running past him, you clear as many corners as you can until you reach A long to see Skye protect Yoru from Omega Sage and Killjoy, headshotting her and watching the body fall to the ground with a loud thud.

When you realize both Skye and Yoru relax their stances, you think you can finally breathe in peace.

The enemy has fallen, and Valorant protocol is victorious once again.

Walking carefully around the bodies, you approach Yoru who hisses in pain when Skye helps him stand up. He mutters something in his language that neither you nor Skye understand, but the japanese man doesn’t bother to say further.

Eyeing Skye, you notice she seems unscratched despite putting herself on the line bravely, barely one cut above the eyebrow but nothing to worry about. 

Sighing in relief for her safety, you turn to Yoru, raising a hand and laying it on his cheek that has an open wound bleeding. Besides that and a limp leg, you think you have enough energy to heal him and look for Phoenix afterwards.

But either he misinterpreted your actions or didn't need the help, he cowers from your touch and swats your hand away, scowling.

“Don't touch me.” He snarls while glaring down at you. It makes you freeze instantly.

You are suddenly reminded of your first meeting and his obvious disgust towards your person, backing away until there is a safe distance between you two and Yoru drops his defensive stance.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” you say.

Turning around to avoid eye contact, you walk towards where you last saw Phoenix to give your assistance. The poor man has his back against the graffiti wall, sitting on the floor and taking big intakes of air to regulate his breathing and not succumb to the agony.

There are bullet holes framing his arms and one near the stomach, causing him pain and discomfort if he were to move too much. His expression is nothing short but misery, trying to play it cool by smiling at you but you know better, brushing part of his hair off his face.

“I'll look for Viper to heal her, think you are okay with Phoenix?” Skye's hand lands on your shoulder, startling you. Yoru is behind her, blood dry but not a single scratch on him. “Yoru is patched up, so don't worry about him.”

You nod, “I'll take care of Phoenix.”

Once Skye leaves, you return your attention towards Phoenix wounds and lay your hands on his arm and one on his stomach, wincing when he whines and tries to back away from the pressure.

Your hands glow a soft cyan and you close your eyes, concentrating your whole power on those zones alone. The both of them watch with different layers of wonder the injury being healed instantly without leaving any trace of scars. 

Only the fabric of his jacket is damaged beyond repair, blood still staining the fabric and part of his skin, you only hope Phoenix forgives you for not being able to fix that.

But it doesn't seem to be his concern once you're done and subtly look at him for approval, biting your lip in nervousness and awaiting his reaction.

Phoenix turns his arm around for a second, flexing his fingers to notice that not even the injury was gone, but the pain on his whole arm has been washed away as well. 

He watches in amazement the last remaining of light coming from you before pouncing on your form with delight.

“Girl, you shoulda told me you were this impressive with the healing!” his arm goes around your shoulder, giving you a playful squeeze while grinning. “Did you save Yoru's ass too? Thank you!”

You only get to nod, smiling softly at his enthusiasm and feeling your face warm with his attention.

“Yoru didn't want me to touch him.” You can feel the japanese man's eye burning at the back of your head, but ignore him to keep talking with Phoenix. “And I guess Skye's healing is better than mine, so I couldn't offer assistance.”

“Nah, it's aight, girlie.” Phoenix winks, getting closer to whisper in your ear, “Yoru likes natural healing, either way, don't take it personal.”

Suddenly, the British boy is ripped away from you. You watch, to your horror, Phoenix getting punched right on his face.

You watch as he falls to the ground, groaning in pain and caressing the tender skin affected and getting swollen as the seconds passes by.  When you redirect your attention, Yoru's face is morphed to what could be described as pure annoyance and anger, breathing in heavily and scowling at his friend sprawled on the floor after taking the hit this easily. 

You don’t know whether to intervene or let them resolve this problem by themselves, but seeing as Yoru approaches to keep this onslaught on going, you decide is best to de-escalate things.

Standing up from where you sat, the best course of action is to ignore Yoru and simply help Phoenix get to his feet and lead him to the jet to reunite with your missing teammates. 

Phoenix lets himself be handled by your caring touch, apologizing when your hand hovers over the skin of his cheekbone and for troubling you. You bite your tongue, swallowing back words of reassurance to him but indirect blame to Yoru; the least you want is for him to look for a reason to fight you, too.

“It's just swollen up, I can heal it once we are on air, is that alright?”

“Yeah, no problem!” He seems ruffled and a bit flustered, but grins as if nothing has happened. 

Taking Phoenix by the arm, you don’t dare to look back and guide him to the jet. If Skye and Viper are awaiting your arrival you’re not sure, but anywhere is better than hanging in the bad atmosphere Yoru has created.

You cannot wait to get back to the base and sleep the day away.

[harmonic-melodii]

Writblr Intro - 2.0

Hello everyone! I'm Zan (short for Zaniah)! I'm a college student currently studying English & Literature. I've been writing for roughly 10 years and this is my updated intro. As I am working hard to get my degree I thought I would share some of my writing here. This blog is solely for my original works and silly writing rambles/thoughts.

Some other fun facts:

I love videogames (PC/PS5/Switch)

I can play the ukulele, guitar, and sing

I love creating playlists for writing and just for fun

My more unrelated writing yaps can be found under the tag #zaniah yaps

I dabble in both fiction prose and poetry! I have written the occasional analysis or review throughout my studies, but I focus on fictional stories. My writing tends towards themes of love, grief, and learning to let go. Putting a pen to paper is my favorite form of catharsis and having a voice to share such emotions is important to me.

My current WIP is untitled. I decided to postpone figuring out a title until I actually finished a draft. Perhaps, when I get to the point of sending a draft to beta readers I will finally workshop a title.

I like to describe it as a lesbian mystery/thriller novel with some supernatural elements.

The synopsis is as follows:

The story follows Aaliyah Kinard, a sheltered college freshman trying to spread her wings as students go missing on campus. She has one friend, her best friend, Quinten Emmerson, a quirky troublemaker with a heart of gold. When Quinten turns up missing and the authorities aren't interested in investigating his case longer than they have to, Aaliyah takes it upon herself to figure out what happened to him. While her investigation opens up opportunities for new friendships and a budding romance, dark mysteries lurk, threatening to turn Aaliyah's life upside down.

Funnily enough, an outline of the entire novel exists. Character arcs and all, I simply haven't started writing it yet. So hopefully sharing will motivate me to get up and start writing!

[autogyne-redacted]

tbh, your recent post about transandrophobia synthesizes my thoughts about it very well, and im surprised you're getting backlash. the only additions i would make is that the gender/sex binary in the west was originally very explicitly a white supremacist creation, even down to the categories of male/female, and lionizing any aspect of that tends to get really racist really fast no matter how feminist or well intentioned. i guess you'd call me a trandandrobro bc i hang out in the tag and sometimes use the word for specific things (like when the lab threw out my cervical cancer test cells bc the cup was labelled M) but, i genuinely don't disagree with a single one of your points. i've been getting uncomfortable with the increasingly reactionary nature of the conversation on transandrophobia and i appreciate your take a lot.

Rambling about transandrophobia

Tbh It's been really surprising to see transandrophobia types interacting with that post all around.

And mostly it boils down to me having had windows into transandrophobia discourse that makes it seem bad*. And other ppl treating these aspects as exceptions to a discourse they see as basically good.

And I recognize that in part this is just how polarized internet discourses work. Like, if my windows into transandrophobia are largely when something egregious gets said and passed around in my circles, that's gonna give a way different impression then if ppl are part of the discourse and curating a slice they agree with.

And the consistent overall harassment of any attempt to talk about transmisogyny and constant bad faith engagements (eg attacks on agab and cagab language, cafab attempts to ID as trans women and as direct targets of transmisogyny) mean few of us are still in a position to assume good faith with internet strangers we run into who identify with a discourse that very much seems to have a massive transmisogyny problem.

.

My slightly more extended position on transandrophobia, since I've been thinking about it the past few days is:

1) I'm broadly supportive of ppl talking about their experiences and trying to find common ground even around shared ~privilege~, so long as it's done with a commitment to broader, collective liberation. (Eg cis men getting together from a feminist perspective to talk about patriarchy = good, cis men doing so with no specific opposition to normative masculinity = fashy).

2) the general attitude I've seen from transandrophobia world is to say: this has nothing to do with anyone other than trans mascs ppl other than trans mascs aren't welcome as part of this discourse: it's by us for us. Intentionally creating an insulated discourse especially around a point of (partial) privilege has a terrible track record. But regardless of relative positionality insulated discourses are just going to be more limited. They can create theory that's empowering for the creator group but it's probably not gonna get much mileage beyond and it's easy for it to be actively harmful.

3) I've thought for ages that trans masc experience seems ~under theorized~ and that transphobia is rly under theorized too. And it'd be really cool to see this addressed in a way that isn't rife with transmisogyny. It does seem like transandrophobia discourse is addressing a real hole, it's just doing in a way that rly sketches me out.

4) really I think gender discourse overall is just not in a great place rn. It was 1990 when Judith Butler questioned whether it makes sense for women to be the sole/primary subject of feminism, and we had major interventions that I'd say reached a peak in the early to mid 2010's (criticisms of white feminism, of cis feminism, intersectionality becoming a dominant framework).

There's a strong tendency to say that we're basically in a post gender world, or that race is just a more fundamental framework (which I strongly disagree with)** and I do think we really need a rebuilt gender theory that has teeth to it. Trying to build theory around transmisogyny I've found it necessary to do a lot of general theory building around gender. How normative masculinity and femininity work, how gender is policed. I don't think we're gonna be able to make a clean break from identity politics until we can have a strong theory framework that lets us talk about this shit from outside identity politics.

5) this is v rambly but I'm inclined to engage with transandrophobia discourse a little more than lots of my circles in part because I really want there to be more good theory building going on around gender, from different positions and across positions. One day, maybe.

*full of transmisogyny/denials of transmisogyny, trans masc exceptionalism and a failure to recognize and be in solidarity around shared issues with trans fems and cis men.

**getting back to the part of your ask about the history of gender and white supremacy, there's a huge entanglement between gender and race, gender and civilization. Normative gender differentiation has been a classic way the civilized set themselves apart from those they deem savage.

Broad claims like the one you make in your ask anon get messy tho. Like, a largely binary model of gender is older than history but you can also talk about the modern binary having really only come about over the past couple centuries (and obviously it's heavily contested and changing rn). Similarly you could say the modern concept of whiteness came about through the trans Atlantic slave trade (and then has been constantly shifting and getting redefined ever since) but there's obviously much older histories it's building off of.

I'm realizing now that maybe you meant the binary divide between sex vs gender as opposed to the male vs female binary but I can't tell which. Either way, my position here is mostly that it's really really messy to make big historical claims. It's such a high level view you can tell a lot of different stories with the available historical evidence. Ideas about gender and race have a heavily entangled history tho and it's certainly gonna go poorly if you treat either as natural.

[andromeddog]

pls talk more about your scottish highlander regiment ocs…… they are so enchanting.. i love the officers

anon i hope you are prepared for a lot of rambling under the cut

hello and welcome to my twisted mind.... i'll try to condense the 10k google doc of lore into something passable here. BASICALLY all of these ww1 guys are part of a web of interconnecting stories that intersect and span before/during/after the war. the main group are the four rugby boys who live in Stirling, Scotland and are drawn into the war in 1916 following the military service act...

from left to right we've got connor, james, peter, and johnny! excuse my bad handwriting but here's the jist of their dynamics. they play rugby together before everything goes to shit (peter is captain, james is the star player, johnny is stupidly reckless, and connor keeps getting into fights) a group of good guys, if a bit rowdy. they join up with the 14th Service Battalion of the Argyll & Sutherlands and spend most of the war fighting on the western front!

two old sketches of johnny and peter..... i think these r from like spring 2022? anyway i could go into more detail about their interpersonal issues but it's a lot and i feel like that could b its own post... ultimately connor gets killed taking out a stormtrooper (another oc) and peter loses a leg about a week later. james contracts influenza and gets sent home but eventually recovers, leaving johnny to finish out the war by himself. their group is definitely not the same after the war, and peter & james in particular really struggle with ptsd in the following years.

AND THE OFFICERS. WOO. aka toxic old man yaoi aka Lt Kincaide and Lt Irvine. these two spend like three full decades being catty and hating each other before they end up getting together LOL it goes something like this: kincaide is from a wealthy family, irvine is not, they meet at school and end up going to the same military academy prewar. they rly hate each other from the beginning and would probably just be petty rivals HOWEVER. irvine is sneaking around somewhere he 1000% should not be and catches kincaide in a very compromising position w another man. irvine intends to tattle but kincaide blackmails irvine into keeping quiet- irvine is there solely on scholarship and kincaide has enough social clout to ruin his military career. basically if kincaide goes down he's taking irvine with him.

that sets the stage for a decades long contentious relationship- partially bc they just keep bumping into each other. irvine obessively tries to find ways to end kincaide's career and kincaide loooooves fucking with him. individually they're very competent people- kincaide is an especially beloved officer even if he is a bit of a romantic snob, and irvine is insanely effective if a bit rigid and cold. these guys got issues on top of issues but proximity eventually leads to a healthy rivalry that becomes something like friendship that becomes basically being married. by the end of the war they are staples in each others lives but they dont get together until a decade or so after it's all over... they each take some damage during the war and spend their later years taking care of each other :')

my beloved old men. they are so fucked up. mutsache4mustache <3

there is so much i could say about them individually and the deep lore but im such a horrendous writer. also this is like a quarter of all of their stuff minus about four characters. the ideal format for this story would be a 300 chapter webcomic/graphic novel but i have neither time nor skill nor attention span for such a sprawling story so it'll just be random illustrations and blurbs in the tags. and my google docs. if any of this has interested ppl i've made a rugby boy playlist and an officers playlist bc im insane. you can get the vibes of their stories a lot better.

and uh i think thats a super rough version of these guys. anon i hope you know that i love you and this ask was so delightful to get <3

[animasola86]

Ramblings!

Gotta vent, sorry.

You know, it is not just mildly frustrating to spend hours taking screenshots, editing them, carefully arranging them and then scheduling them to share with this fandom to then have the post completely disappear from the face of the earth as soon as it's supposed to be published - it is infuriating!

It only shows up on my page, not even on my dash and isn't seen anywhere under any tags! I can't even see my own posts on my dashboard - and it seems to be laggy anyway, since yesterday I feel.

I'm just mad, sorry. So much time and effort for basically nothing bugs me more than I care to admit. I could say that I take these screenshots for my own pleasure, like I write solely for myself, but let's be real: I want to share these things with others! I want to contribute, bring joy, do anything to share my passion with others who think alike. (I just want to be seen, okay tumblr??? Lemme be seen!)

And having that taken away just sucks. Maybe it's just a normal weekend on tumblr where it's usually slower, but I don't know. Not seeing my own posts on my dash doesn't feel right at all. (Could it have anything to do with the type of content I post? Who knows, but it's a weird timing to affect me now...)

I hope this will sort itself out soon. I have so many posts planned, but now I'm afraid to post anything! I don't want it to fall into the abyss to never be seen again!

Rant over, I guess. Didn't help much tbh. Lemme go back into the shadows now.

(Edit: Well, the post is there now, 1,5 hours after it was published. I don't get it. Still mad though, not gonna delete this now.)

[sflow-er]

After reading The Magic Trick You Didn't See, the essay by @ariaste, I've got some thoughts on Maggie and Nina (well, mostly Maggie) that I kind of want to write down to make sense of them. I'm putting them under the cut to spare anyone who isn't interested in GO2 or hasn't seen it yet and doesn't want to be spoiled.

[Before I start rambling, I want to stress that I haven't really been active enough in the GO tag to know if a similar theory has already been presented. Also, I realise I could be way off the mark here, this is pure speculation!]

So to recap the basic premise of the essay mentioned above, much of what we see in GO2 could have been altered by the Metatron using the Book of Life, aka. the Chekov's gun that never went off. I'm not sure if I subscribe to every aspect of that theory (for example, I do think that wee Morag really died, and that it's possible Aziraphale only started drinking alcohol in the 1900s, although I'll admit some of the bits where he turns it down are harder to explain than others).

What I do fully agree on is that Maggie often feels more like a character than a real person in this fictional world. Something about her just feels off. The essay cites many great examples, such as her abrupt mood swings and her uncanny valley reactions (especially her line at the ball, about how suddenly knowing the steps is "just what we do", and her zoning out right before the demons attack and then suddenly starting to antagonise them).

Anyway, this got me thinking. If Maggie was a character written by the Metatron, why and when would he have started writing her in the first place?

Well, what if there was cleanup to be done after Adam fixed things at the end of GO1? All the events of that week were altered, but what about everything that happened before? Because that's the thing that jumps out to me about his line to the Devil: "You're not my father, and you never were." Meaning he also altered the past.

Which begs the question, if Adam was never the Antichrist, what became of The Chattering Order of St Beryl? Did it ever exist at all? Did Hastur still destroy the convent and kill most of the nuns? After all, the book says their sole purpose in existing was to deliver the Antichrist - who never was, as of the end of GO1.

Keep in mind that the burning of the convent happened eleven years before the events of GO1. I assume there would be a lot more paperwork involved in bringing to life people who already moved on from the earthly plain over a decade ago. They wouldn't even have a life to come back to, which is where the Book of Life could come in.

Now, I know Neil has said that Maggie and Nina are not the same people as Sister Theresa and (Sister) Mary in GO1...but that would still hold true even if they were just altered versions of themselves.

I'm not sure about Mary/Nina. It's possible that Adam himself changed her, as she was still alive at the time of the shift. Maybe her parents didn't raise her as Satanist after all (as they did in the book), or they didn't give her a biblical name like Mary, or she changed it. Or perhaps Nina was always her real name, but she became Mary when she took her vows and kept it when she became Mary Hodges. Perhaps this is what her life would have looked like if she never joined the Order.

It's also just as possible that she really is a different person who simply looks the same, much like Beelzebub is the same person who simply looks different. Either way, she remains a real human person.

As for Theresa/Maggie... Well, we don't know how she was raised, or if Theresa was her real name, or anything else really. I don't think that matters as much either, because the main point is that she already died 11 years ago.

It's mentioned time and again that people can't just be resurrected willy-nilly, and it's left quite unclear how Adam's powers worked, exactly. Perhaps God told the Metatron to smooth over the ripples (after all, the whole thing was part of Her plan all along, and She usually leaves it to the angels to implement Her plans). The Metatron then decided it was easier to make up new characters based on the people who died years ago than to truly bring them back to life, much like the angels in the Job minisode figured that giving him seven new children was even better than resurrecting the old three.

And since the Metatron was creating Maggie anyway and had the power to write her a completely different life, why not take the chance to also place her close to Aziraphale? The Metatron plays a much more intricate game than most of the angels, and he's extremely committed to seeing the plans through. Surely it would occur to him to keep tabs on the dangerous rebel who consorted with a demon and played a big part in stopping the first part of Armageddon, in case the two of them tried to meddle in the second part as well.

So, by a few strokes of the Metatron's heavenly pen (or keyboard), Aziraphale is suddenly Maggie's landlord in GO2. Of course, it's normal for shows to introduce new characters by making existing ones act like they were there all along...but if we accept the premise that Maggie isn't actually real, Aziraphale never even mentioning his tenant when the bookshop burned down and the world was about to end in GO1 definitely works in our favour.

Anyway. I'm not sure how serious I even am about this theory - it only just came to me this morning, and I wanted to write it down to get it out of my head. So if you disagree or think it's too farfetched, that's totally fair!

[littlemelonberry]

you're safe here, promise

welcome to my blog! you can call me bambi, or you can call me melon!

this blog is a safe space for proship, radqueer, paraphile, and other folk! i have no true dni but i will block as i see fit - mostly if you're mean or i don't like your content.

before you follow:

like i said, this blog is a safe space for people! i post primarily about proship, transid, and propara stuff, but sometimes other stuff comes up! i am strictly anti-harassment - that means i don't believe in crosstagging or hate mail or anything, even against people i don't like.

i will never post discourse. i will never post or reblog scary real-world news - i have a main blog for a reason. you can follow that here! this blog is exclusively for feel-good posts and posts that might be affirming/comforting for "scary" people (like paraphiles and transharmfuls!)

that means that sometimes i might post content that's upsetting or potentially triggering - these posts will be tagged as both what they are (eg "#noncon") and an accompanying tw tag ( eg "#tw noncon"). please block these tags as necessary, and block me if you think this blog overall would be stressful for you!

more about me under the cut!

i am a chrono adult and would prefer if minors did not interact with my nsfw posts (for legal reasons!) tagged "#suggestive/nsfw". other posts are perfectly safe, though.

i'm autistic, and i like to ramble sometimes! mostly about the art i'm interacting with or about stuff my friends are doing!

i'm the host to a system! we might make a properly system blog at some point but for right now, my buddy xay has a blog he uses for stuff! soon he might even start posting regularly!

i won't post hate mail - anon or not - for the safety of my followers! everything posted to this blog is meant to serve as a safe space - that means no posts with inherent anger or bitterness. those go to the main blog!

in the same vein, i don't like getting into discourse or other heavy topics here on the blog. if you want my opinions about things like the proship/antiship discourse, the syscourse, or radqueer stuff, please go send those asks to my main! this space is solely for safe, civil discussions and for having a good time!

my tags

#melonmarkings tag for when i am rambling or saying something that doesn't belong to any specific community.

#askbox my inbox response tag! wanna see if i answered your ask? check here!

#repot a tag specifically for if i've updated/redone something. not currently in use, but i'm leaving it here anyway!

[shirogane-oushirou]

[cw mentions of ableism. talking / venting about the sharing vs non-sharing shit (i do not lean towards supporting one "side" over the other); starts out relatively neutral-toned but i start to sound frustrated part way through. i also have a more personal ramble at the very end that has a separate cw list. it's also long... don't feel obligated to read. i just needed to say things and be Done with it.]

man. i'm ready for all of the sharing vs non-sharing back and forths to stop.

to be clear: this isn't some "i'm above this argument" thing. on the contrary; i completely see where both "sides" are coming from! i simply mean it shouldn't be so difficult for a select few shit-stirrers to Get that selfshipping is a personal thing, and we should be able to ship in whatever way makes us most comfortable.

if someone is non-sharing, they should be allowed to create those boundaries without being harassed or called "immature" or "delusional" by sharing people. beyond how supremely ableist that is, nobody has the right to say they can't view their f/os in a certain way, no matter if other people don't understand those feelings.

if someone is sharing, they should be allowed to share their feelings for a character openly with other sharing people without being sent hate from non-sharing people who think they're "loose" or who want to be their f/o's "one and only". shaming people for being open to sharing is fucked from multiple "sexual / romantic purity" and "anti poly-[sexual / romantic / platonic] relationships" angles, and nobody has the right to claim sole and total ownership over a character they did not make.

and yet, every couple of weeks, we get posts from a vocal minority making a huge fuss over "the other side", when it's just a vocal minority FROM that other side ALSO making a fuss. and then those vague posts leave their intended orbit and cause more mis-worded posts and misunderstandings and off-the-cuff bigoted statements, and the cycle starts again.

we should theoretically be able to respect each other while focusing that energy on, oh i dunno, chasing harassers out of the community? getting selfshippers who aren't part of a specific marginalized group to help selfshippers from that group when they're harassed, maybe?? especially when the sharing vs non-sharing Thing very often coincides with bigotry; people who are harassing others tend to not just stop at being petty or mean, they make it personal.

and -- not as important but a nice little bonus -- i would think that working towards a community that's more safe for everyone in it would also "coincidentally" (/s) get rid of the shit-stirrers, whether because they were kicked out or because they realized what they were doing and grew as people.

---

[cw ableism, vague death ideation, non-physical self harm mention]

i was originally gonna put this bit in the tags, but i think i should put it under the cut bc it's a little personal + it got too long.

also, i try to stay in my lane and not discuss details about delusions or how to approach them -- i've only experienced them a couple of times, so i'm not going to claim to know much about them -- so if i've overstepped, PLEASE let me know and i'll edit or remove anything i've misspoken about.

but coming from someone who went too deep into selfshipping in the past and worries about the mental health of people who do: It's None Of Your Business!!

delusions aren't morally "bad" or "wrong". holding deep feelings abt a character isn't inherently delusion-based and also isn't morally "bad" or "wrong". and neither of those is the same as -- speaking from experience (above content warnings come into play here) -- being obsessed with a character to the point that you self-isolate and emotionally self harm because you wish so badly that the character was real and you believe there isn't a point to life if you'll never meet that character... and this is also not inherently delusion-based and ALSO not morally "bad" or "wrong".

these separate things -- delusions, deep feelings, and unhealthy obsession -- CAN intersect but just as often don't. none are immoral, and all are deserving of being approached with compassion and respect, in whatever way is most appropriate.

negative, harmful ACTIONS that some people take in these states are worth bringing up to them when it's safe to do so, depending on the details of their situation, but the states themselves don't have any moral weight. ie, if someone's harassing others for sharing their f/o because they're in a dark, obsessive place, that is a morally negative ACTION, not a morally negative mental state. they need to take responsibility for harm they've CAUSED, not for what they're experiencing internally.

but if you're calling people "immature" or "delusional" as an insult, something tells me you're not really considering that! whether through malice or just a lack of compassion, you don't see worth in how another person approaches this community.

you aren't better for thinking of a character a certain way, and neither is the person you're being ableist towards. if no harm is being done to you or others, you're just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. listen to other people, learn, and do better.

if you think someone is genuinely in a bad mental place because of selfshipping (wrt isolating and self harm), approach them as another human being. meet them where they're at. don't patronize them, don't call them "delusional", treat them like someone who has their own thoughts and values.

they may want help, or they may not, and you have to respect them for their choice no matter what YOU think is right. there is no truly right way to approach someone who's in a dark place, but you can at least avoid saying things that FOR SURE will make them feel talked down to, belittled, or shamed. if they aren't ready now, maybe they will be ready for help in the future, and shutting them down will make them less likely to seek that help.

(i was also going to put THIS in the tags but i should probably put it here: when i say 'learn and change' i mean it as a positive. people have the capacity to learn and grow and become better; if you've said something in all of this that can be read as harmful... consider why it's harmful and why you said it.

you aren't the same person you were a year ago. 5yrs ago. 10yrs ago. you have grown and you will continue to grow. but if you can be more aware of it and grow more purposefully and consciously? all the better.)

[halfbakedspuds]

Characterisation through quotes

Taking the open tag from @illarian-rambling to do this.

Rules: write a quote for your character following your prompt

My prompt: Write a quote about your character/s favourite place.

I'm gonna do characters from all three my activr WIP's.

Children of the Stars

Adrian: Wow, what's my favourite place... let's see if I still remember this... Fifty-three Armfeldt Lane, floor five-oh-eight, Hab tower six, Callisto. It used to be a NASECA colonial armory some six hundred years ago. To us? Well, to clan Castellan it was simply Hémar, 'home'. Not a day passes that I don't wish I was back there, even if it would mean more gunfire and bloodshed daily than I've seen in the past six years.

Lyanni: This house, of course. Look, I don't fit in with the nobility, there isn't a Jezdeir left for me to return to, and regardless, I'm safer and happier here than I've been at any time during the last year and a half. Adrian can be a bit of an ass from time to time, but I'd rather argue with him out of boredom and spite than have my rights taken away because some gods-forsaken priest took offence to... my breathing, I guess, I don't know. And besides, the little shit is kinda endearing in his own thorny way.

Wilhelm: My favourite place? I... I confess that I do not know. My whole life has been spent either in places I hated or places I never want to go back to. Now that I'm free? Free to explore and live and do whatever else it is free people do with their lives, I'll let you know when I find it.

The Tempest Prince

Jason: The Archives. The Ordo Magos used to warn archivists and researchers to pack camping gear and rations whenever they went in there. My binge reading and exploration of that place is the sole reason that the Magi have set up lodgings and psychonet spell circles at regular intervals in that place. I don't know whether that's impressive or a sign that I need an intervention.

Alex: You're asking the walker of worlds what his favourite place is? You know, I've seen realities so bizarrely beautiful that they defy human language. Have you ever seen the Roses bloom under the skies of Neureich? Or the endless expanse of old mother night from the orbit of New Iernia? To you, this is all gibberish, but to me they are memories, and to pick a favourite would be a defilement thereof.

Helga: The lowveld in Southern Africa. I once went there on a trip with those two idiots and their mother. Beautiful place, so much more alive and vibrant than Allyria, yet quiet enough to get one's head on straight. To this day, I'll catch a lantern over that-a-way whenever I need to calm down or think. Just watchimg that sunrise is almost meditative.

Echoes of Shadows

Johan: The Zelver Frontier in Zuurveldt. Contrary to what people think, it's not all salt pans out west, in fact it can be downright mesmerizing when those dry hills bloom in early spring. When I still lived on the farm, we used to always take the day the flowers bloomed off. Ha! I guess once a country boy, always a country boy, hey?

Anastasia: When is not wartorn hellscape, Ulyenski forests hold certain... calming appeal to me.

Maire: Th'market square in Rodrickstown. As much as A' 'ate Angeheim an' 'ated livin' in th'Kingdom, Ye've got tae admit tha' our people know how tae do street markets right.

Hans: when I first moved to Neureich, the first thing they warned us about was that a field of Roses is a sign to stay away from an area. I thought nothing of it until I survived my first hellstorm and had watched those things in the storm tear apart my posse only for a field of Roses to spring up in the wake of that hell. Turns out Roses are a sign that an area is susceptible to hellstorms. There's something morbidly poetic and beautiful about such horrible violence being the catalyst for such beauty.

Sasha: Honestly? My old bunk back in Rostov. Never thought I'd say that but I honestly miss not having to sleep on a grimy couch in some foreign port city.

Tagging whomever wants it. Your prompt is: Write a quote about your characters best memory

[dedummekrakene]

Blog Introduction Post

A little basic info about me and this blog! everything is covered in this post, including all info about how little I know the game, so feel free to educate me if you think I'm lacking important information! under the cut for more

ALSO!!! THIS IS A SIDEBLOG! Any notifications from @bonepile-shieldwall are me! I couldn't justify the amount of krakenblr I was bringing to my mutuals on my main blog, so here I am :)

About Me

Hi! I'm Ken, I use they/he pronouns, and I am a very new hockey fan. A friend of mine at university mentioned how they watched the games often with their parents, so when I was without anything to do during spring break, I put a hockey game on TV for the first time (Kraken!) on March 21, 2024, and I went to my first game at Climate Pledge Arena that Sunday.

I'm a full-time university student, and I work near full-time as well, so I will definitely miss some games (especially friday games), but for the most part I'm ready to watch and learn as much as I can in these last weeks before the end of the 23-24 season.

My favorite boys are Lars and Bjorky because I'm a Scandinavian Studies major and feel I need to appreciate the boys from the area (burky and tolvy included ofc)

My Blog

This blog will mostly be like my journal for hockey, keeping up with what I'm learning both in terms of team members and rules, liveblogging the games I do get to watch, as well as sending any questions into the void of tumblr. All or most of my content will most likely be solely Kraken when team specific, but being from the East Coast, I might start looking into the Penguins or Capitals once I can really learn more about the game. Don't worry, Kraken will always be my ride or die!

Liveblogging

For liveblogging, I will most likely be near spamming the tl, so apologies in advance. I will post day-of if I will be watching the game, as well as every liveblog will be tagged with, of course, "#kraken lb". I don't see myself finding the time to watch any other teams, but those will be tagged appropriately.

Tagging

As mentioned before, all liveblogging will be tagged! I will also be frequently using the "#seattle kraken" tag as a general catch all for any posts or reblogs dealing with the team but unrelated to liveblogging. Any gifsets will be tagged with both "#gif" and "#gifset", and any art reblogged will be tagged with "#art" and a tag including the artist's user. Anything involving general hockey, not team specific will be tagged with plain "#hockey", and anything completely unrelated will be "#ramblings". Feel free to block what you don't want to see! I'm going to do my best to keep up with the tags :)

Questions

If I have a question about a rule during a game, I might post it solely with the tag "#hockey" simply to garner more reach in hopes some kind soul will answer this poor soul's clueless pleas. I will try to use google as much as possible, but honestly, their descriptions are often unnecessarily long-winded and confusing

That should cover everything about me and how this blog works! Thanks for reading and GOOOO KRAKEN!

[mcalhenwrites]

AO3 First Lines Tag Game

Rules: Share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written fewer than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway. I put almost all my work in a private collection so most of my work is "grounded" from being seen lmao 1. all to see you smile Ferdinand rolls out the scroll across the wooden table, using ornamental paperweights to prevent it curling up on him. The eyes of the royal correctional officer, Clifford, are on him as he reads through the ancient cursive. “This can’t be serious. I’ve never heard of this.” Clifford shrugs. “I don’t make the rules.” “Are you sure this isn’t a forgery? You’re not pulling a prank on me?” Ferdinand eyes him sternly. “No, but this would be a fantastic joke. I’m enjoying your reaction.” 2. A year spent together, as always Hazel wriggles closer to Ferdinand’s side. Their room shouldn’t be so cold, but there’s something marvelous to be said about sharing warmth in bed with a loved one. 3. Eda, Darling I have no attachments to this house. It is not where I raised my children from babies to adulthood. All those memories are at the property Willie sold before we moved into this excessively grand place where I have lived almost a decade now. Until tonight. 4. Rascal The slipper slaps across the seat of his trousers, pushing him forward as his fingernails leave new scratches under the lip of his wooden desk. The rubber sole stings even through two layers of cotton. Merciless strokes leave oval prints on the flesh of his backside. 5. Woeful Spring Colds A dry feeling nags at Ferdinand’s throat as he pedals his bicycle home from the grocery store. He careens over to the side and stops. Ahead of him, Hazel glances over his shoulder and swings back around. 6. Stargazers' Hill For the first time in their lives, the people at the Glasser Mortuary did the opposite of their jobs: they pulled a body out of a casket. This one happened to be breathing, which was fortunate for all of them. Humphrey Glasser did not need his hard-earned reputation to be shaken by a police investigation. 7. Ravish Him Hazel Raston might have been a little drunk when he first spotted Ferdinand Aletto standing by the nearest exit of the dormitory common room. So drunk, in fact, that he snagged Sinclair’s sleeve and hissed much too loudly in his ear, “Who is he? I want to ravish him.” Specifically, Hazel wanted to rip the stranger’s buttons off his shirt with his teeth and lick his chest down to his navel until he had his cock in his mouth. 8. Ungrateful Little Princeling I don’t care. That’s the thought that continually crosses Hazel’s mind as his father rambles about the quality of the car model. Real gold, real chrome—it’s impressive for a collectable item, but Hazel doesn’t want it. There is someone out in the world who would better appreciate this model. Hazel thinks it’s tacky. 9. Fresh The brown-haired version of Fayt stared down at his doppelganger. A rivulet of blood ran from his temple to cheek, a souvenir of Albel’s sword. More of it dampened the front of his shirt. His breathing came jagged, raspy. Death was imminent. He would no longer be a threat. The superstition went that if you saw your doppelganger, you would die. What happened when the doppelganger died first? 10. Pretty Cute Smile

Some small part of Demyx knew he wasn’t invited whenever he dropped in at Ansem’s lab for any reason outside of business, that the researchers found him incredibly annoying at even the best of times. He pretended to never pick up on their disdain. Why bother with the particulars? He enjoyed Ienzo’s company, and he was going to have it one way or another. In fact, maybe he liked Ienzo a little better than Zexion, because Ienzo smiled. And that smile was pretty cute. Tagging: @yume-x-hanabi @iseliadragonwill @latte-cosmico @ringnis @squidlykitten @flamingo-bubbles @somegiantmess (do you write fics? I could swear you do? XD) @cyanidesouffle @yoshigali and @thatwindingpath although some people I tagged aren't super active ;A; Apologies if you didn't want tagged! Just ignore this if so!