#this is for fun and for me and if anyone reads this i am sorry you have to see what the inside of my brain looks like

[thebibliosphere]

You know what, that’s fair. It was a throwaway comment meant to be funny and also poke fun at how few votes this poll actually had (at the time of my reblog it had 3k, now it’s 13k) compared to how many actually chronically ill people are on here re: fromkenari’s comment about feeling out of place because of their dash experience.

(And even then there’s so way the number is so small as 13k because so many people don’t even realize they have a chronic illness because of how these things get played down.)

But reading it in the morning I can see how it doesn't read that way, and that's my bad. I am sorry, I should have either expanded on that or just hit reblog without comment.

- - -

Also, this next bit isn't to detract from anything you just said, all the points above are 100% on the money, I’m just going to do some MCAS comfort here for those of us who often feel excluded by the above and I don’t want anyone to snap back at you for making very valid and true points. This is just currently a sore spot in a few online places.

---

Hey mast cell folk: The above isn’t about us.

I know the most common narrative we see online is that ‘chronically ill people don’t go to the ER because they’re used to being sick’ and it can feel really crummy and alienating when it feels like we’re in the ER every other month (sometimes multiple times in a month) but that's the difference between having a ‘‘‘stable’’’ chronic illness and having an acute chronic illness.

Also, let’s be real, we also don’t always go to the ER when we should because we’re ‘used to it.’

Our bodies just sometimes explode in ways that cannot be mediated without emergency medical attention, making the inevitable debt unavoidable. And let me be clear, it cannot be avoided. There’s a lot you can tough out at home but anaphylaxis isn’t one of them. You’re not bad at being chronically ill, you just have an acute chronic illness.

Going back go my original comment, it might be more accurste to say that we are the Spiders George of chronic illness when it comes to ER trips, but we still count. Click the poll.

For the purposes of this poll, do NOT count the following:

Your own birth (unless there were complications/urgent concerns)

Routine check-ups or scheduled-in-advance appointments that just happened to be at a hospital

Visiting or accompanying someone else to the hospital

Use your discretion as to whether to count visits to urgent care.

–

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[aft3rhrs]

Angle are you alright?

Xxx

hi sweetheart, yes! thank you for thinking of me 🩷🫂

I just couldn't get myself to write anything, but I tried not to be hard on myself, I had a lot to deal with.

still, writing has been a constant part of my life for years (just more private), so it's been bothering me a lot. especially since I'm in treatment and trying to tackle stuff and get better.

so, I tried to figure out what's been blocking me, apart from maybe my mental state.

and I asked myself: if I were to make another blog, or account somewhere else, and be completely anonymous again, no audience... what would I write?

and ideas started pouring in.

that made me realise tumblr just became a really toxic place for me.

but tumblr is just an app. it's the people that make it, and I participated in this toxicity. I accepted everything that was given to me by strangers, thinking I was standing up for myself just because I spoke out – when in reality, I still let their negativity and criticism affect this blog brick by brick until I was suffocating. I let them build my experience instead of doing it on my own.

I guess it's the work I put in that made me realise I had no self confidence, really. I saw no worth in my own writing, so it was OK doing it for fun, but when I gained an audience I let their opinions soak every work.

mutuals and lovely readers tried to give me kind advice and tell me not to forget about myself. I thought that's what I was doing. but in reality, I wasn't writing for myself anymore at all, I kept trying to write what everyone else wants, just in MY own way, and I thought that's the same thing.

I'm sorry for how things turned out, guys. and if you're reading this post and rolling your eyes thinking "omg no one cares" well, then this post isn't for you, all the love tho <3 and whatever else anyone else might be thinking, I don't care about that anymore either. we're all just strangers here, I won't be apologising for how I am or how my life is. if you can afford to spend your whole time and energy on tumblr, that's great, I can't. I also won't be spending all my time and energy to please people I don't even know who in a second turn around and throw a fit, because my fic is late, or too short, or boring, or too similar to another. I wasted so much time and energy already, constantly explaining myself and apologising.

to my mutuals and readers who are sweet, thank you so much for all your support! you helped me grow so much. thank you also to those who were rude, hateful, and horrible because that also helped me grow and realise your personal problems have nothing to do with me. I'm just a person, I can't cater to everyone and that's OK. some people will hate my work and that's OK. I hated some fics too. I had the decency not to harass authors but hey. you do you and I'mma do me.

I made a new blog but so far, I haven't posted anything and when/if I decide to, I will let you guys know. I love you so much 🩷 always 🩷

[egophiliac]

I hear you on brave but I think Mr. CEO man could be woz

Which I’m all here for tbh

anon you sent this over 9 hours before the reveal, h...HOW DID YOU KNOW

(I am also all here for it honestly) (I kind of hope they lean really hard into the overworked-CEO bit...how is he supposed to fight evil when there's all this paperwork that he has to get in by Friday, ugh)

[necrotic-nephilim]

i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.

i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)

but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.

and the peace offering is Tim.

Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.

and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.

and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.

i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.

also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.

[bowsbar]

ideal tacomic to me is Pits in both of their stomachs manifested as thoughts of one another they cant erase no matter how much they try to move on,theey repress them for different reasonts though.To me its like.

Mic represses them bc she haets taco and just wants to move on with her life-To stop thinking about her shitty decisions during her time in the competition. she hates that she still thinks about taco allathis time later when shes in a much better place both physically and mentally

taco represses them bc she does not know what to do with them and in true taco fashion if u dont knpw how to handle your feelings just bottle them up forever (Guatanteed to work)(TRUST ME). she has 0 outlet no mepad doesnt count bc that out let is microphone and mic has made it clear she wants nothing to do with taco. Which taco will adhere to bc i think she respects mic more than she respects herself, which,In and of itself is not a very high bar to clear bc taco is filled to the brim with self loathing (and lettuce and taomato) so she would respect mics boundaries...and just rot.

in the neural network time line i nmy head theres some point along it where taco DOES try to reconcile with mic!but it doesnt end well. mic tells her to leavee her alone. dont talk to me? (sighs) do whatever schemes you gotta do but leave me out of them, okay? i want nothing to do with you anymore. fnd taco goes Ok bchwat else is she suppsoed to say to that.NO? she might try to push back in a fit of desperation upon seeing how the meeting is going (diseasedly) getting real vulenerable which would make anyone who has even the slightest intnetion of giving taco another chance fold but mic isnt like other girls and has a sense of self preservation. in an attempt of pushing for closure taco ends up pushing mic further away than she already was, which already seemed impossible (reached the limit, apparently not). when taco sees that shes done the impossible + the futility of this meeting has fully shown itself to her thats when she dips (sih of relief from mic)(proceeds to punch a hole in the wall bc watching her leave hurt for a reason she knows but doesnt want to acknowledge)

taco then doesnttt try again. tying in with her perceived incapability of starting over. welp it didnt work theres no reason to ever try again haha shucks gues thems the breaks for me or whatever british version that translates to. she has maybe one more shot with pickle and if that goes well (hmm) then theres a crumb of hope for happy tacomic ending? pickle speaks good on taco and plants that seed of forgiveness in mic to unwind those tangled roots of hatred and spite in her stomach that have knotted over so much time. but in order for anything to come of that taco would have to come face to face with mic again and i think shed rather die

[rigginsstreet]

*alexa play he had it coming*

[marimbles]

at the risk of sounding like really entitled….

does anyone else have a fic that is their most popular, but you don’t want it to be, because you don’t think it deserves it, and you have better stuff, and while ofc you are grateful that people like something you wrote, it’s almost annoying that for some reason That one is the most popular. lmao

[wundrousarts]

Mini Silverborn Countdown

If you’ve been around for a few years, you’ve seen me vaguely mention a “Silverborn Countdown Challenge” several times. It’s been delayed and changed as many times as the book itself, lol.

If anyone wants sort of a low-stakes, very chill and spaced out version of this ye olde never tackled challenge to complete in the next year before Silverborn, I propose what I’m doing:

Every 3 months leading up to the initial release, I am creating one thing based on each of the books.

January — Nevermoor

April — Wundersmith

July — Hollowpox

[harvestmoth]

what unconditional love and support does to a guy

[hoshiina]

pairing: kuroda yukinari x gn!reader (no prns)

summary: he was always just watching from afar

warnings: none :)

He was always watching from afar. He would watch the way you would always say you were tired, but you'd be paying full attention every class. He noticed how you would genuinely be interested in class when you enjoyed the subject, but when you didn’t you’d subconsciously frown at the work given. 

When he was practicing afterschool, sometimes he’d see you walk out of school a little too late and he’d realize you were studying in the library again. He would usually just watch, but today he just really wanted to talk to you. Maybe he was feeling particularly lonely that day after you had a seating change and you sat even further away from him than before. Whatever it was, he was feeling rather impulsive today.

“Sorry, I’m going to go ride outside for a bit,” he told his teammates and rolled his road racer outside. Little did he know, most members of the team knew about his little crush, especially the third years. It was a little too obvious to not notice, because every time you were in his line of vision, he was looking at you. They had hardly ever seen the two of you talk, but all they could hope for was all the best for their vice-captain— he was always looking at you with the sweetest gaze ever.

And for the first time ever, he was stepping forward

“Okay, take your time,” Izumida said.

“Hm? Oh, thanks,” Kuroda said, unaware of what Izumida had meant.

Oh, would he just end up just walking past you again? He wanted to talk to you, but what would he say? Immediately, he knew he would probably end up just watching you from afar, unable to say anything. He sighed at the thought of that.

But to his surprise, you turned to look at him. Okay, now what does he do? What does he say?

“Oh, Kuroda!” you said, taking your earbuds out. Gosh, he loved that about you. You were probably only going to talk for a bit, there was no reason for you to put them away. Yet, at the same time, he was somewhat surprised you knew his name— you were in the same class, of course you did. Maybe he was surprised to hear you say it, rather. “Are you off to practice now?”

“Oh, yes. I’m in the road racing club... which is probably obvious now,” he said, frantically. Gosh, he was making a fool of himself, you didn’t even ask! He was just so flustered, the words weren’t coming out right.

“Of course, I know!” you said. “How would I not know Mr. Vice-Captain of our school’s pride and joy road race team! Do you have a race soon?”

“I do. Quite soon actually... on Saturday,” he said, mind blank. He was just going to answer your questions now he wasn’t capable of much more, he realized.

“Saturday! I really shouldn’t hold you up then,” you said and he scolded himself for saying that. He would’ve rather talked to you for a little longer and practiced all through the night if he had to. “Where and when is it?”

“Just up the Hakone mountain,” he said, surprised. It’s one thing to ask where, but to ask when? He was going to start having some false hope. “In the morning, at around 9.”

“Would it be weird if I show up?” you asked, a little less energetic than before, almost as though you were afraid he’d tell you not to come.

“No, not at all,” he said, a little too quickly. “...Please do.”

Immediately, your face glowed up the way he loved to see it. He could not believe you were talking to him right now.

“Then, I will definitely be there,” you said. “I’ll let you go for real now, I want to see you win that race.”

“Oh, crap, I forgot my water I’ll need to go back to get it. I’ll see you,” he said. “Thank you.”

“See you!” you said and walked off, putting your earbuds back in.

He didn’t lie, he only had one bottle when he usually carried two, but usually he’d just go on and buy something at a vending machine. However, he knew his ears were red and the last thing he wanted was for you to see. He walked back in and no one questioned how quickly he was back, (because they were all watching) which he found weird, but that was the least of his worries.

“How did it go?” Izumida asked. 

“Oh, I haven’t gone yet,” Kuroda said. “I realized I forgot a water bottle.”

“No, not that,” Izumida said, finally tired of playing dumb.

“What?” he asked, then looked around and saw that quite a few more people were looking at him, eagerly waiting for him to go on. “Were you all watching??” He felt even more embarrassed than before if that was possible. 

“(L/n)’s coming... on Saturday,” he said quietly, covering his face with his hand, hoping they wouldn’t see how red it was. 

“Oh, you really have to win now~” Manami said, and that made Kuroda smile.

“Yeah, I really do.”

[guzmaniacz]

ive peaked (made insert oc for xmen)

[x-adoringvoid-x]

Apparently that's called the 'irresistible force paradox'

[grapecaseschoices]

look what i can do now! should i ever learn to gif it's over for you hoes.

[raine-world]

Autocorrect stop changing "Quirrel" to "Squirrel" challenge: Impossible.

[obnoxiousarcade]

im thinking again

[blu-s0da]

I'll never stop being obsessed with how they compounded John's connection with and need for Sherlock in season 3. Yeah bro, you missed your homie so much you subconsciously looked for a partner that had his traits. We're framing it as though it's due to the fact that you're obsessed with danger, but we're actually pointing out what a faggot you are.