#this is for a longer project that I'm just about finished with

[vanoodle]

Imagine you are a child and draw something with your crayons. Drawing it makes you really happy and at the end you get up and proudly show your drawing to your parents but you get no reaction.

Now imagine you're working on a project. You've made progress on it and you're so proud of it that you post it in the group chat you have with your friends. Again you get no reaction.

Then later you find out that one of your friends showed your project to another group chat you aren't in and said "Look at this, isn't it cool?" But for some reason, they didn't tell you they thought that. Wouldn't that hurt?

That, essentially, is what posting fanfic is. Or literally any kind of fanfwork that you post for the fandom to find.

Of course not all of these people who can see your fanwork are your friends, they're strangers a lot of the time but you're in the same fandom, the same community, so if feels similar. And so, when you post something to this "large friend group" called fandom, and you get no reaction, it feels like your friends (as in: fans of the same thing) not acknowledging the thing you made and wanted to share with them.

As for the writing vs posting part, I feel like many people mean "posting" when they say "writing" or a mix of the two. I have written quite a lot of fic that I have never posted. It sits on my hard drive and only I will ever get to see it. To other people however it will seem like I haven't written anything at all because they have no way of knowing that I made something.

Another part is whether or not I actually continue my fanfics. Many fanfics I have written for myself stop somewhere in the middle because I lose the drive to finish the story. If I were to post it and someone gives me a comment, this might give me the motivation to actually keep going with it.

Writing only for myself also makes me sloppy. I will no longer care about spelling or grammar or writing in a cohesive way. I'm only getting the thoughts out of my head and I can understand my own writing just fine, so why would I edit it? Why would I polish it?

The "write for yourself" argument has been made so so many times and while I understand that being guilt tripped into commenting doesn't feel nice and shouldn't be done, I also don't think that telling others to just "write for yourself" every time they express their desire for attention is that great of a move, either, and it bothers me each time I see it.

I DO write for myself, I LIKE writing for myself but I don't write for myself the way I will when I plan on posting something on AO3 to share it with others.

There's a genre of post that I see pretty frequently, which can overall be summed up as, "Modern fandom has a culture problem where fanfic authors are treated as content producers instead of community members and their fanfic is treated as a commodity to be consumed instead of a high-effort labor of love that deserves attention and compliments given directly to the author". I agree with 3/4ths of that. I find the part I disagree with very interesting, the same way I find a lot of writeblr interesting, because it's a perspective that I had to work very hard to actually understand.

Because the posts have such a warped view of what writing is and why we post our writing! They say that fanfic fights against the commodified internet we live in, but all they're doing is changing the currency of payment in this attention economy. Another way you can summarize about 70% of these posts is, "My payment for writing and posting my fanfiction is compliments, and if you do not give me those compliments you are not paying. If you give those compliments behind my back, or talk about them privately without giving them to me as well, then you are stealing from me." I don't want to put it like that, but a lot of these posts use words like 'deprive', as if the reader who enjoys the fic without commenting is withholding something from them that they deserve. They use the word engagement, and they do talk about how part of that engagement is just the joy of talking about AUs and ships with other people, but when people say that comments are their motivation to keep writing, what they mean is that validation is their motivation to keep writing. Which is compliments.

I understand that, because I understand that fanfic writers are not immune to the attention economy. But I don't understand how almost every one of these posts talk about how this lack of attention makes them stop writing - that this act of theft is killing their desire to write. I could understand this if they meant 'desire to POST fic' (I don't post fic I think zero people would read.), but they talk about how lack of payment stops them from writing at all.

IMHO, that is what creates a commodity from fic. People want to treat fic as art, but an artist makes art for themself. Art is made because we want to hold parts of skills and ourselves in our hands. If you won't make art if you get no payment, then you have devalued the art completely.

We think of AO3 as this unique site that's born entirely from passion and is filled with fics written for love of the game. But guilt-tripping posts that shame people for not commenting on a fic they enjoy, and that describe how there's no point in writing fic if it's not getting attention, are directly contributing towards the culture of treating fic like a commodity.

I also really want a fandom culture where the relationship between artist and reader is reciprocal, where it feels like a community, and where I get to talk about my fanfic with people. My favorite part of posting fanfic is rambling about it on my blog, because I can talk about my art all day and I love it when people stop and listen. But I love that because I love my own art. If you love your own art, then it'll always have value.

Also Google your username, just trust me, that's how you find The Secret Discussions. Someone made a TikTok fansong of me once. WHAT?

[lewdlepoodle69]

Um Jammer Jammy from Parappa The Rapper :)

In a spur of the moment I decided to open a project today that had been collecting dust since September (but it feels longer than that because I started it in July) and it just so happened that I was able to finish it, since all the emotional attachment I had a couple of months ago which had made me rage quit it had dissapeared. 

I don't know how to feel about this one quite yet. It doesn't feel like I've finished it, so much as I don't know what else I can do with it; and it lacks that satisfaction of finishing. I haven't dabbled too much in warmer compositions to be confident in them so I'm just like... sure, I don't know. I think I'm just going to have to sit with it for now. Lammy herself is nice though; I really like how I've drawn her hair.

On to something new eventually!

External Stuff:

-I didn't design the Signalis Playstation CD, it's by @namedr ! Their stuff's great! Check 'em out!

-Jamie Paige - Bittersweet

-Barton Fink - If You Know

-June LaLonde - Headjack

-Whale - All Disco Dance Must End In Broken Bones

[a-bit-too-much-of-a-zelda-fan]

This is one of those moments where Twilight Princess feels like a modern (for the time) successor to Ocarina of Time. Not in the superficial ways that everyone cites, but by using the camera to flesh the subtext of Link's emotions.

I wish I had screenshots of it, but I'm thinking of the scene in OoT where Link returns to the Sacred Forest Meadow as adult and the camera lingers on the stump where Saria used to be. The camerawork serves an obvious purpose: make sure the player knows Saria is missing. But it also serves to give a glimpse into what Link is thinking. He is dwelling on the fact that his friend is not where he expected her to be. He feels the passage of time, that things which used to be certain no longer are. This is something that would be lost if the camera didn't behave the way it did.

Twilight Princess is a lot more generous than OoT generally when it comes to showing Link's emotions. It may be due to the limit on his facial expressions as a wolf, but it is difficult to parse what he is feeling here at first. But the camera could have focused on Colin the whole time. Instead, after he says his bit, it switches to Link. It reminds the player that Link is there, but it is also telling the player to think about what Link is feeling while he witnesses this.

(actually, my screenshots don't do justice to the scene because after Colin says the first bit, the other characters silently react in their own ways before he finishes and the camera switches to Link)

Midna says something afterward to the effect of "wow, sure sucks that your friends don't even know you're there and won't remember that you saved them." And yeah, maybe that is exactly what Link is thinking. But Midna is also an unreliable narrator, at least in the beginning. She's selfish and looks down on Link for being as kind and selfless as he is. She might be projecting onto him. What if that's what she would feel if she were in Link's position?

I think there's truth in what she says, but I think Link has more going on up there here. He reflecting on how he is watching his timid young friend hold onto hope and comfort a girl who is normally not particularly kind to him. He's proud of Colin, but is upset that he can't show it. Plenty of other times in the game, Link shows his affection for Colin through just a simple smile, which the younger Ordon kids hardly afford him. Link wants to smile at Colin, but even if he could be seen, he would be a terrifying beast to him. But hey, maybe I'm projecting.

[earth-ambassador-jim]

Finished it! The Amulet of Daylight, folks.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

What can I say? They're my favorite.

[icewindandboringhorror]

................ he 

[handsomethrowrug]

OOC: Ah. Forgot to say.

I'm going to be quiet for about the next day or so. I've been writing up a bio for a muse on another blog for about a year now. Unfortunately, it became too long-winded and I put it aside with the intention of writing a shorter version and using the longer one for a fanfic project...

The shorter one is still really long for a bio for a muse in a fairly dead fandom.

For context. This is the longer version, which is a mix of actual finished narrative and summary:

[supercantaloupe]

submitted to the mortifying ordeal of. emailing my professor saying i'm struggling to keep up with the work and asking for help 😔

[miabrown007]

a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

BODY BACK 2 month birthday tomorrow heheheehehehehehehehe

[askthekirbysquad]

"Meta Kniiiiight!!!" Kirby whined, batting at the older puffball with his fists as he leaned against him. "Just let me wiiiiiiiin!"

Meta Knight raised an eyebrow, unbothered by the other's 'attacks'. "And allow you to split yet another one of my masks in half?" He chuckled. "I'm afraid not, Kirby."

The swordsman had already learned that lesson twice by now, after going a little easier on his student and paying the price for it. At this point, with his stash of spare masks dwindling in order to truly challenge Kirby's abilities, he had no intentions of going anything less than all-out.

"You will not get any stronger if you only ever fight against weak foes."

"But it's haaaaard!" Kirby pouted, sinking to the floor. Though he may have been Dream Land's hero and had saved both it and the wider universe on several occasions, Kirby was still a child, and clearly, not one who appreciated losing several times over. "This dumb samurai stuff is different from our usual training!! I can fight really good when it's a normal battle. But this is just waiting... And waiting... And more waiting..." He yawned. Even just talking about all the waiting he had to do was making him tired. "And then when I can actually fight without getting in trouble, I've gotta be really really fast, because I lose if you hit me even once! I don't like it."

"What if you someday face a foe capable of defeating you in one blow?" Given the exceedingly powerful threats Kirby had faced in recent times, such an opponent was not entirely out of the question. So, it was important that, as his mentor, Meta Knight prepared him for the situation before it could arise. "It may be more wise to dodge rather than strike first in such a scenario, that is true, but the point of this exercise is to train your reaction time. Being able to react quickly and intelligently to anything your opponent may throw at you in the heat of battle is a vital skill to learn."

Kirby merely grumbled in response, absentmindedly wondering if there was any copy ability he could use to melt further into the ground. Maybe Meta Knight's lecture made just a teensy tiny little bit of sense, but it didn't make him any less frustrated by the new training regimen.

Meta Knight sighed at the young puff's antics, and produced the Maxim Tomato he had kept safely tucked within his cape. They had been training for a while now, he supposed, and it was good to have small rests every now and then between sessions. ...Even if that was something he himself was notoriously bad at incorporating into his own training. Luckily for the swordsman, Kirby immediately perked up upon seeing his favourite food.

"You will get better with practice, I am sure." Meta Knight said. "You are already quite skilled at spooking Dedede with that party popper, I must say." Handing Kirby the tomato, he added, "Take a break for now, however, and let me know when you are prepared to resume our training."

"Mm-hm! Thank you, Meta Knight!" Kirby gleefully responded, his sour mood forgotten as he held the precious Maxim Tomato in his hands. Good food made everything better! The new type of training was still dumb, in his opinion, and it was gonna be hard to beat Meta Knight with all those extra rules in place, but thanks to his snack, he had a feeling that he could do it!!

...Meanwhile, in the distance and out of sight of the unsuspecting duo, Magolor snickered to himself as he prepared his legion of mini Scarcutter attacks. It was wonderful to see his friends enjoying the theme park he created, and while he did have some Park Manager work to attend to... Well, who's to say he couldn't have his own fun in Merry Magoland's attractions?

[lordgrimwing]

Watch out: I have it on good authority that I'm slaying rn

[fabcreature]

right at the beginning of music school is actually a fantastic time to think "really when was the last time making music or working with music made me happy?"

[icewindandboringhorror]

Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...

[non-un-topo]

At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer

[aromothmantic]

NaNoWriMo prep season has begun for me aka "Time to Question All of the Life Choices That Led Me to Repeatedly Attempting This Insanity for Over Ten Years"