#this is exactly ten days later jfc

[captainsimagines]

traitor

Summary: It was only one night, no strings attached, just two friends working through their grief together. Steve went to live his life with Peggy and within two weeks of returning, he peacefully passed. Unimaginable things happen everyday, jokes have negative consequences, and protection doesn’t always protect from the possibility… the possibility of carrying a child. He would have stayed if he knew, everyone agrees with this, so why is the world calling Steve Rogers a traitor?

One-Shot (with a happy ending)

Pairing(s): Avengers x Fem Reader; brief Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Warnings: Unexpected pregnancy; serious talks about abortion; brief mention of suicide (if you squint); mentions of Endgame deaths; strong language; minor descriptions of actual birth; ANGST but with a happy ending! This is purely fanfiction. 

Word Count: 6,600+

A/N: So, Olivia Rodrigo’s album just came out and dude, jfc every song is magical. like... wtf. This is essentially a ‘song fanfic’, but ehhhh not quite. The lyrics don’t match the fanfic lmao but the melody does??? idk this is a shit ton of angst, be warned. It was from a request I got a while back, so this is kind of a request fanfic. 

~

Up until the moment Steve pressed his soft lips to yours, you were certain you had never experienced such a wonderful sensation of magic. You had been witness to actual magic, to beings from other worlds, and yet Steve’s gentle touch was enough to erase any other image, to completely overpower your senses, a kind of magic that dug deep into the trenches of your heart and settled in its new home. 

No, you and Steve were not a couple. There were some flirty remarks over the years, some fantasies that lay dormant, but there was never the craving to actually act upon them. But when half the world disappeared and the remaining Avengers came up with a plan five years later, the loss of a teammate prompted the sudden push of two touch-starved individuals. The rest of the team had gone to sulk in their own corners of the compound, some hard at work at constructing the final piece to the puzzle, and you and Steve ventured off to the kitchen. Two cups of tea each, silent but heavy tears mixing in with the sugar and milk. 

You were the first to break, shoulders crumbling and knees rocking under your weight. You fell to the floor, sobs and hiccups forming into a full-blown attack, your hands scratching at your neck. Steve fell beside you, pulling you into his chest and rocking you back and forth. He cried too, the final words of his best friend ringing in his ears like a dreaded song on repeat. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. 

Time was irrelevant, you had enough of counting time, estimating it, time-traveling through it. If you could sit there all night, all week, another five years huddled close to Steve Rogers, then so be it. 

‘I can’t believe she’s gone,’ you had sobbed. 

‘I can’t believe it either. I can’t,’ he had cried back. 

You had simply lifted your head and turned his face toward yours, searching his eyes for any hesitation before you had leaned in first. He had returned the intimate gesture almost immediately, gripping you tightly. Tears dripped in between your moving lips, sobs caught inside breathy moans, grips becoming tighter and tighter as each of you shared your first time together. No other partner up until that point had ever pulled such a pained but grateful cry from your throat, no other human being had ever made you feel so safe and peaceful. 

The final battle was over, you had lost yet another teammate, but the world had a chance to start over. And Steve had pulled you aside a few days before he returned the stones, letting you know that he wasn’t coming back the same man. He had been so scared of telling you, of possibly betraying you, but when your palms cupped his cheeks and you gave him a kiss on the lips with a soft whisper of ‘Be with her. Cherish her. Be happy. We’ll meet again’, his worries instantly shattered. He could only rapidly nod his head, grabbing your hands that were soaked in his tears, and kissing them until he said his final goodbyes. 

And he returned such a different man, but with a smile you had never quite seen before. Yes, he was older and you only had a few seconds to actually process that, but he was happy. He had been happy. He finally lived the life he deserved. 

Sitting in that pew two weeks later, both sad and happy tears streaming down your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a long time. You simply gripped Wanda’s hand as they carried the casket down the aisle, a sad melody drowning the church. 

`

The first round of sickness hit you the day of the funeral, but you obviously didn’t think much of it. It was the fits of sadness and grief, the hot coil in the middle of your stomach, you thought. It had to be. It wasn’t until your breakfast was regurgitated into your toilet only a few minutes after enjoying it that you were suddenly worried. 

You sneaked to some liquor store a subway ride away, careful of not leaving a trail. This was embarrassing, it was insane, it couldn’t possibly be real. You gave the cashier your money and ran to the stall provided, peeing on the stick the best you could before placing it on the dirty sink in the corner. You patted your hands on your thighs repeatedly, careful to not touch any other thing in a goddamn liquor store bathroom. 

‘Friday?’ your voice was so defeated, tears already stinging your eyes.

Your little bluetooth sprang to life, ‘Yes, Y/N?’

Your bottom lip was trembling wildly, hands now shaking. ‘Can you stay active with me while I read the results? I can’t… I can’t be alone right now.’

‘Yes, Y/N. Anything you need, I’m here.’ You sobbed openly, thanking her under your breath. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to contact anybody else?’

‘I can’t face them. I can’t face them if it’s positive, Friday.’

‘Okay, it’s alright,’ her voice was so delicate, so quiet and reassuring. ‘Just keep talking to me, Y/N. I think the results should be ready now.’

You inched closer to the test. ‘I’m scared, Friday.’

‘I know,’ Friday sighed, ‘But you will get through this. No matter the result.’

Grabbing the small device from the sink, you swallowed so much saliva that it actually hurt. The plus sign was so clear, so evident in its visibility, and your ears only registered the loud cries escaping your painful lungs because Friday was practically yelling in your ear. 

‘Please, calm down Y/N! Your heart rate is too fast-” she was stuttering, an AI was stuttering. ‘I’m calling for help. You need someone to be here with you. I’m sorry.’

It took ten minutes. Ten minutes of banging outside the bathroom door from the cashier, ten minutes of blurry vision and a strep throat. Sam broke through the door as quickly as he could, eyes flying around the small bathroom until he saw you huddled in the corner, a pregnancy test clutched in your small hand. He crouched down beside you, hands extended but not exactly touching you, and eyes trying to lock with yours. 

‘Y/N, Y/N?’

Just the sound of his voice, the voice of someone who didn’t need this added pain in their lives, it was just too much. Another weight added to your shoulders. 

‘I don’t know why,’ you choked out, ‘I’m so sorry.’

Sam’s face contorted into a pained expression, eyes brimmed with salty tears. ‘What are you talking about? No one is blaming you for anything. You’re safe, I’m here.’

You shook your head violently, ‘I didn’t mean to.’

But as quickly as those words left your mouth, the pounding in your head had become too unbearable. You collapsed into Sam’s arms. 

`

You woke to a single doctor who was monitoring your vitals. She was just sitting beside your bed, clicking random buttons on the screen in front of her. You whimpered slightly, the bright lights temporarily blinding you. The doctor quickly stopped what she was doing and removed the tube from your nose, allowing you to breathe on your own. You ignored the weird scratch that caused, and asked her the question you needed to have answered by a true medical professional - not a liquor store device. 

She confirmed what you already knew. There were no ‘congratulations’ or even ‘I’m sorry’s’, just the fact that you were pregnant and it was very early on. There were still options for you, it was healthy so far, you were healthy so far- 

Wait, options? 

The team were all huddled outside, nerves all over the place. They didn’t know what was going on. Sam knew but it wasn’t his information to pass on. It wasn’t until Bucky’s angry demeanor actually turned violent, a hole forming through the hospital wall. You were all on a private floor, completely displaced from the reality down on other levels, so any freak-outs were only slightly justified. Slightly. 

‘Sam, you gotta tell us. I made a promise to Steve, Sam! I promised to take care of her!’

Bucky’s words gripped Sam’s heart in a metaphorical vice. ‘She’s gotta tell you guys, man. It’s not my place.’

You had curled in on yourself, the doctor’s words echoing louder and louder. 

‘Abortion is an option. At this rate, it would be quick and safe. I can promise you that. It’s your choice.’

You wanted to die. You wanted the world to swallow you up and bury you alive. You wanted to disappear. If you had died in the snap, this wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened. 

The ride back to the compound was a quiet one, with Sam driving you and the radio on low volume. 

‘Are you going to tell them?’

You bit your lip, ‘The doctor said I had options.’

Sam’s breath hitched and he tried to mask it, but you had heard it. You felt guilty, disgusting, like you betrayed Steve and the rest of the team. They had just lost him, you had just lost him, and you were carrying his child. And if Steve would have known, he would have wanted it. He would have encouraged you to have it, he would have been so happy, he would have been such a great fa-

‘The choice is yours, Y/N.’ He glanced over at you, ‘Can you at least tell me who the father is?’

The wrecked sobs were like second nature now, choking you with their strength. ‘I’m so sorry!’

Sam pulled to the side of the road and quickly took off his seatbelt, sliding over in the connected front seats to pull you into his chest. ‘Shh, hey. We are not going to be mad at you. Everything’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now but-’

‘Sam!’ you cried, clutching his shirt in a tight fist. ‘I swear it was an accident! Steve didn’t know! He didn’t know, I swear he didn’t know!’

Sam’s mouth dropped open, an almost embarrassing noise of surprise sounding from the depths of his soul. He ran his hands through your hair, eyes rapidly searching for a single viewpoint. But he couldn’t focus on any one thing, not when you were shuddering against him and apologizing nonstop. 

Steve didn’t know. 

`

The team had reacted in a similar manner. They so desperately wanted to wish you a congratulations, it was the norm for this kind of thing. Especially with such a rough few years - bringing life into this world could be considered an ultimate blessing. But this was Steve’s child, his baby, his only baby in this timeline. It was a part of him, something he had unknowingly left behind. 

The team took a few days. The pain of losing Natasha, of losing Steve, of losing Tony. The gift of life. It was just too much. 

And you found yourself in front of Wanda’s bedroom door, hands clutching your night robe closed and knees wobbly. She brought you tea, she laid underneath the covers with you, she spooned you until you stopped crying. 

‘We weren’t together.’

‘You weren’t?’

You sat up, muscles straining due to your thousandth crying session that week. ‘No, it was one time. It was a mutual thing. We just… felt safe. And we made love.’

Wanda shut her eyes briefly, only to open them for two parallel tears to slip. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

‘We used protection. It really was an accident.’

Wanda interrupted, ‘No, don’t try and justify yourself. It happened. It’s done.’

You whimpered, reaching out to grab her hands. ‘I feel so guilty for even talking to you. I don’t know how you did it. I’m so selfish to be pouring all this on you-’

‘Hey, hey,’ she whispered, ‘But I am the only one who can truly understand. I have lost more in my lifetime than anybody ever should. But I am going to help you get through this, Y/N.’

You pulled her into a hug, ‘I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.’

Wanda slowly pulled away, eyes cloudy and touch of red twinge flying in her irises. ‘Alright. I won’t leave your side. No matter what you decide.’

` 

The chair was cold, the room was cold, no matter how inviting the hospital tried to make this room. It was decorated in the most neutral colors, so delicate in its designs, pamphlets and books scattered on every available surface. It was made to make the pregnant person feel secure, to feel comfortable in the hands of their doctor, but it just made you sick. 

And when the doctor asked if you would like an ultrasound first, that it wasn’t actually necessary for you to view it, you found yourself saying yes. You were at six weeks, it would be there. Wanda clenched her eyes shut, because even if you were strong enough to do that, she wasn’t. But she was here to hold your hand. She would hold your hand no matter what. 

It was the size of a grain of rice. That fuzzy, white figure off a little to the right of your uterus was the size of a grain. A literal grain of rice. The monitor shifted and the doctor cleared their throat, the slimy device absentmindedly being circled around your lower abdomen. 

‘Oh my god,’ you whispered, eyes locked on the place the doctor had their finger. Wanda brought her hand up to her mouth and looked away. 

That’s when you heard it. 

The steady rhythm of a strong heartbeat. 

Your chest started heaving, tears staining your cheeks as you listened to the beautiful sound. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ the doctor mumbled, ready to pull the monitor’s plug to end the live video but you gripped their arm before they could. 

‘No, no!’ you yelped, the heartbeat still sounding, so early in its actual life that this was for sure Steve’s child. 

You turned to Wanda, face contorting into one of agonizing regret. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Steve.’

Wanda gulped and took in a ragged breath, ‘Y/N, Steve’s not here.’

‘No,’ you whined, head turning back to look at the monitor. The monitor with yours and Steve’s child on it. ‘This is the only real part of him we have left, right?’

Wanda opened her mouth but shut it again, unable to formulate a proper response. 

‘This is Steve’s child,’ you stated, sucking in a breath through your sobs. ‘This is my child.’

` 

The team was alerted of your decision the minute you walked into the common room. They had known what you left for, dread itching in their souls and morals twisting greedily, but they hadn’t stopped you. They couldn’t do that to you. 

‘Hi,’ you mumbled, placing your things on the counter. Everyone kept their heads down, lumps growing in their throats as each second passed. ‘I’m okay.’

Clint was the first one to speak. ‘Did everything go well? Did they hurt you?’

You smiled with your teeth for the first time in weeks, ‘No, they didn’t hurt me. They didn’t even touch me.’

For a few seconds, no one caught on to your words. But Bucky was the first to register them, to etch them deeply into his brain, to stand from his seat and walk to you cautiously. ‘You decided-?’

You smiled wide now, happy tears falling over your strained cheeks. ‘I’m having a baby.’

The team erupted, cries and cheers deafening you. Bucky stumbled over and hugged you close, arms wrapped over your shoulders and face buried in your neck. He had to bend his knees to keep that position. He weeped into your shoulder and thanked you repeatedly, his own body rumbling with broken sobs. You held him close, fingers digging into his shirt and the skin of his back. 

‘We promise, Y/N,’ Sam said off to the side, waiting for his turn to hug you. ‘We promise to take care of you and this baby.’

A few more long-awaited congratulations were shared. ‘Guess I’m on desk duty for the next nine months, huh?’

Bucky held you tighter. 

`

The first four months were certainly eventful. Wanda insisted on taking pictures of you every few weeks. She had you model with a nice tight shirt to show off your growing stomach, different props in your arms as the weeks passed on.  Flowers, sporting equipment, random Avengers inventions, signs that read the number of weeks you were at. You even did couple shoots, with your teammates posing behind you with their hands on your stomach and an equally bright smile.

She had them printed out and framed, the compound common rooms now littered with random photos of you and your growing child. It was like a timeline, a museum considering you would catch someone inspecting the photographs. This time it was Scott, casually eating his cereal and balancing it in his hand as he walked the hallway. He had this silly smile on his face the whole time, milk dripping from his bottom lip. In his photo, he was posed behind you with a giant smile, back arched and head thrown back while you were trying your best to arch your back as well. And then he saw you watching him, eyes falling from your face to your stomach, and that silly smile growing wider. 

Happy insisted on doing yoga with you every other morning, his chosen playlists actually Tony’s. Half expecting the songs to only emit the essence of rock and roll, you were surprised when the playlist only contained acoustics. Happy winked at you, ‘He was a man of taste, Y/N. He, too, had those sad driving songs.’

Peter was hesitant to visit at first. He was still mourning Tony, as you all were, and seeing everyone again was certainly a hard thing to do. But he managed, and the moment he saw you there, trying to balance a plastic bottle on your tiny stomach, he burst into a fit of giggles. 

‘Oh, oh! I almost got it!’ you encouraged yourself, stomach not yet protruded enough to quite get it. 

Peter rushed over and caught the bottle as it slipped, ‘You’ll get there. How do you feel?’

You grinned at the kid, ‘Like I’m pregnant.’

Peter chuckled, ‘I wouldn’t know, so.’

‘It’s weird,’ you admitted, turning back to your abandoned bowl of fruit. You popped a piece of pineapple in your mouth, ‘But I just remind myself that they’re gonna be an angel when they come out.’

‘All slimy and angelic.’

You swatted at Peter, ‘They’re healthy. That’s all that matters.’

Peter placed his hand on your stomach, half-expecting something to happen. ‘I can’t believe you’re having his baby.’

You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry. Steve should be here experiencing this. ‘Me neither.’

`

The next month had come so quickly. Your friends - your family - made sure to keep you occupied. Whether it was to shop, to nap together, to eat together, to exercise together, anything, they were by your side. It was so overwhelming at times, but not wanting to scare anyone, you took time for yourself whenever you could. You’d settle in your room, in a nearby cafe, in Natasha’s room, and just sit and breathe. With one hand on your stomach, you couldn’t possibly fathom the luck on your side. It always tore your heart in two when you realized Steve would never meet his child, absolutely mutilated it. But the realization that this child was going to have such a massive family, your family, uncles and aunts who would die for the kid - that realization was sometimes too much. 

The thunder from outside startled everyone. The quiet night everyone was having was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a certain god, hair now cut and beard trimmed, running into the common area. He was practically hyperventilating, his quick pace halting as he scanned the room. ‘Is it true?’

‘You got my message?’ Wanda asked, shutting off the water from the sink. 

‘I’m sorry, I was away. I just got the message and-’

Thor lay his eyes on you, your obvious stomach, and he started crying softly. ‘It’s true?’

You smiled at him, opening your arms for an embrace. But Thor fell to his knees in front of you, forehead resting on your stomach. ‘This is a miracle.’

‘It really is,’ you laughed, wiping away a few stray tears. ‘The condom broke.’

Laughter sounded almost instantly. 

Thor looked up at you, eyes red and eyebrows furrowed. ‘He didn’t know?’

You shook your head, ‘No, Steve didn’t know. I promise.’

Thor nodded, believing you. He stood slowly, encasing you in a tight squeeze. He hadn’t changed much since you last saw him, but he did seem to be drinking less. ‘After so much loss, the Heaven’s send us a gift from a beloved friend.’

`

Bucky seemed to be the happiest. Although he shared your beliefs that Steve should be here to experience this, to cherish this, to be the father he had deserved to be, Bucky couldn’t help but feel grateful that you decided to keep the baby. He knew he needed to stop relying on Steve to fix his mind, this he had to do on his own, but the bundle of joy inside of you just added to his undying love for his best friend. This was a piece of him, a true half of Steve’s heart that would soon be breathing air and opening its eyes. 

He was currently laying beside you, just woken up from a nap and lazily drawing circles over your clothed tummy. You were still asleep, deep breaths a little ragged since you were twisted slightly to your side. You had given up trying to sleep on your back nowadays. 

‘Hey there,’ Bucky whispered, a funny smile forming on his face because he can’t believe he’s talking to your literal stomach. ‘You know you’re a miracle, right?’

There was no response, obviously. But Bucky just positioned himself to lean on his elbow, temple resting in the palm of his hand. ‘We’re going to love you so much. Steve would have loved you so much.’

He placed his metal hand on your stomach, careful not to apply so much pressure. He was hesitant though, the metal hand now from Wakanda but still something he didn’t entirely trust. Still, he rubbed smooth circles on your side. ‘I already love you so much.’

Kick.

Bucky widened his eyes, a hitch in his breath. Was that real?

‘Did you just respond to me?’ Bucky asked, a little laugh escaping his lips. ‘Should I say it again?’

Nothing happened for a long while. He switched hands, rubbing a little deeper now. It was a free massage for you, anyway. 

Bucky bit his lip and looked up at your face, still peacefully dreaming. He leaned closer to your stomach and repeated his earlier confession. ‘I love you.’

Kick. 

Bucky shot up from his spot on the bed and covered his mouth, a loud laugh accidentally escaping and startling you awake. 

‘W-What?’

‘They kicked! They kicked!’

‘Seriously?’

Bucky was shooting through the stars, because even though it was a long shot, he felt like somehow Steve was telling him he loved him back. 

`

Sam’s leg bounced madly as he watched the doctor slick up the generator. You repeatedly tried to calm him, tell him that it would be quick and simple, and there was nothing to be worried about. 

You were six months now. Belly now protruding to the point where you could only see the tips of your toes when you glanced downward, and the baby was positioned farther into your back. If anything, you were having a giant freaking baby. He was a product of a super soldier. 

You remembered having that scary conversation with the doctors, your whole family beside you as they heard and relayed the information. 

‘Your baby is perfectly healthy. The serum isn’t affecting it. His lungs are forming less quickly than the other organs but there’s no serious worry.’

Bucky had literally cackled at that, confusing everyone in the room. ‘Steve and his shit lungs.’

But now you were finding out the sex. Only one person was allowed in the room this time, and Sam had literally begged you with his eyes to choose him. 

‘Are you two ready?’

You each nodded at the doctor, waiting for the monitor to spring to life. After a few seconds, the heartbeat was detected. You gripped Sam’s hand in yours, a quiet ‘thank god’ passing through his lips. 

Then the giant image of a literal baby appeared on the screen. It was so surreal. It resembled a quick sketch, like one Steve would have casually drew, and you couldn’t help but imagine him drawing that very image from memory. 

‘Y/N, I-’ Sam cleared his throat, smiling at you. 

‘Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’

‘Yes, please,’ you answered, gripping Sam’s hand harder. 

The doctor moved the generator a few times more, hitting the spacebar on the computer to capture the image. ‘Congratulations, you’re having a boy.’

You shuttered a tiny laugh as Sam flew out of his seat, arms extended upward for a moment before he brought his hands down to kiss them over and over. 

‘I’ll print this out for you,’ the doctor smiled, leaving you and Sam to celebrate. 

`

Everyone had gathered later that night to find out the news. You had printed enough copies for everyone who wanted one. Bets were placed, a multitude of gifts already mounted in online shopping carts. 

‘Don’t keep us waiting!’ Rhodey shouted, champagne bottle at the ready and propped up on his thigh for when you made your announcement. 

Sam was standing beside you, a massive grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and urged him on, telling him that you were fine with him saying it. Sam didn’t need to be told twice. 

‘It’s a boy!’

Pop! Drinks were poured and hugs were shared, with even Friday coming over the monitor to congratulate you. 

Even in the midst of all the excitement, you felt a little empty. But you enjoyed your pre-baby shower, happy that everything was so unbelievably working out. 

It was midnight when you alerted Friday to call Happy to your room. You needed a ride. 

Happy was slightly irritated at being woken up, but once you told him where you were heading, he obliged. The ride was silent, comfortable, with Happy glancing at you once in a while to make sure you were okay. 

You walked across the grass slowly, hands resting on your stomach and just a little waddle in your walk. You flashed your phone light over the headstones even though the headstone you were looking for was in a secluded area. Happy trailed you, keeping a respectable distance. 

You stopped in front of the small building, the fence somewhat blocking your path. But there was no security around, and even if you were caught on camera, your face let everyone know who you were and your connection to Steve. You had no worries. 

You broke the lock easily and opened the door. It was almost entirely marble, a good deal of Steve’s actual aesthetic. So simple, not overly patriotic, and secluded. He had refused to be buried in Arlington. 

You sat on the bench provided, the three names in front of you standing out like they were begging to be read out loud. So you complied. 

‘Sarah,’ you muttered, smiling as the name rolled off your tongue. ‘Thank you for sending everyone a literal angel.’

You muttered his father’s name as well, but felt no personal connection to it. You spent at least ten minutes building up the courage to utter his name, to say his name in front of him again. He was buried right underneath your feet, his name the only thing for you to see. 

‘Steve,’ you sighed and rubbed your stomach. ‘Steve.’

You sobbed silently and watched as the tears fell on top of your resting hands. ‘I don’t regret it.’

You were met with silence. ‘I don’t regret any of it. God knows why he did this. But you lived your life, and I just can’t believe I have to bring life into this world without you here.’

‘It’s a boy, Steve. A lovely little boy.’

You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite the side of it, throat clenching. ‘Everyone is so happy. I am, too. I promise you.’

You lowered your hand back to your stomach. ‘I just wish that you could feel that happiness.’

The moonlight moved slightly, shining on his name brighter now. ‘He’ll know about you, don’t worry about that.’ You laughed. 

You didn’t want to keep Happy waiting. You stood from the bench slowly, feet sore. You walked closer to him, wishing you could easily bend down and give him a kiss. But you physically couldn’t right now, so you blew him one instead. ‘Thank you.’

`

Somehow the rumor got out that an Avenger was pregnant. And when Wanda was seen outside without a large stomach, all fingers were pointed at you. 

The news went ballistic, most positive and raving, while others pondered just who had gotten you pregnant. You had been seen with everyone in paparazzi photos, so no actual conclusion had been made. 

Until a picture of you at Steve’s gravesite was leaked. 

It was constant bombardment, timelines were stitched together, magazines and their headlines were having a field day. Rhodey had tried to cancel these news stories, to threaten lawsuits, but to no avail. The world was now cursing Steve’s name - ‘how dare he leave her while pregnant?’, ‘how could he leave her pregnant and for another woman?’, ‘did he even know?’

The team had done everything in their power to try and clear yours and Steve’s name, but no one was having it. Steve’s love story was now tarnished, with many calling him a traitor and a deadbeat. It was no use. 

You struggled to climb the stairs, inwardly cursing the staff for not installing a ramp instead. The flashes were blinding, the lights were hot, and the various microphones placed on the stand were comical. 

Everyone hushed, looks of sympathy and pity slapping you in the face. 

‘I know what you’re all thinking and what you’ve all been saying,’ you started, eyes wandering to the far corner of the room where your team were huddled. ‘But I need to clear a few things up.’

‘Steve didn’t know.’

The crowd erupted, questions flying at you like fast bullets. They were silenced after a few moments. ‘We shared a moment with each other before we brought everyone back. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after his funeral.’

The crowd murmured amongst each other. ‘He told me he was planning to stay in another timeline. To live his life. I encouraged him. He did not leave me alone and pregnant. He truly didn’t know.’

You finished, they didn’t deserve a deeper explanation. You ignored their calls for questions, some even trying to crowd you at the doors. But you pushed through them, cradling your stomach with a newfound sense of pride. 

`

It was time. 

You sat up in your bed and quickly wiped away the hard crusts from the corners of your eyes. You sat there for a few seconds before you felt another harsh twinge. ‘A-ah!’

You didn’t know why you paused, legs now thrown over the side of the bed. They felt like menstrual cramps, it could be false labor. You let out a heavy breath and pushed yourself up, legs wobbly. But the moment you did, it was like something snapped. Your legs were wet and a tiny puddle had started forming on the floor. 

‘Friday!’

The lights in your room turned on immediately, ‘Y/N, is it time?’

You moaned at the uncomfortable cramping, ‘Yeah, I think it is.’

‘I’m waking and alerting the team right now, Y/N. Sit back down, please.’

You listened to Friday, sitting at the edge of your bed for a few moments before you realized you had to pack a bag. You shuffled across your room and grabbed the duffel bag Scott had left for you a few days ago. You packed a pair of socks, sweats, underwear, vaseline and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and phone. You zipped your bag just in time for both Bucky and Sam to throw open your door, Sam struggling to put his shoes on and Bucky slipping on a jacket inside-out. 

‘Y/N, is it really time? Are you ready? Are you okay?’

You ignored the cramping in your back and laughed at them, ‘Yes! My water broke, I’m in pain, it’s time.’

With both Sam and Bucky at your sides, they held onto you as you all stumbled down the hallway. Thor was already waiting with the elevator open, the biggest smile on his aging face. 

‘Wanda and Bruce are preparing the room. Scott already called the doctor. Clint’s in route,’ Bucky reassured. The three men huddled into the elevator with you, all instructing you to breathe and to squeeze them if you needed to. 

But even though you were in pain, albeit not as extreme as it was going to inevitably get, you were so incredibly happy. They were all so loud, so chaotic, and you were as calm as a cucumber. 

The elevator dinged. ‘Good luck, Y/N,’ you heard Friday call after you. You pinched your eyes closed, the thought that Friday was ultimately a part of Tony’s consciousness - Tony was wishing you good luck. 

The pressure in your hips was starting to build and you didn’t know how long this would actually take. Some people had quick births, some people lay in labor for hours, some for a day. But it seemed like this was going to be pretty quick, because your next scream was completely involuntarily. 

Bucky winced, leading you to the bed Wanda had just lay sheets on. ‘You’re doing great, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.’

You laughed at Bucky and gripped his hand in silent thanks before slipping into the bed and trying to get comfortable. Before you could truly feel like you made it, like the first hard step was done, you sat up quickly. 

‘Wait, wait! Nat’s sweater! I was gonna wear Nat’s sweater!’

Thor was already out the door, ‘I’ll get it! Don’t worry!’

You smiled at the ceiling, beads of sweat now rolling down your forehead. ‘Oh, this hurts!’

It was an hour. Once you shimmied into Natasha’s purple knitted sweater, you lay there trying to control your breathing. Everyone had piled into the room one right after the other. The room was big enough, spacious enough for even Bruce to roam freely. Although you were in an immense amount of pain, you still focused on your team. 

Scott was on his third cup of coffee, sipping excitedly as he conversed with the others. Bruce was constantly checking your vitals and wanting everything the doctor was saying repeated. Wanda was beside you, a hand gripping yours and the other running ice chips along your lips. Bucky was on your other bedside wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts because it still smelled like him. His logic was that if he was wearing something of Steve’s the first moment he held your baby, then the first thing he smelled would be the remnants of his father. 

And Thor was practically speechless, silent in his own little corner and feeling like the god’s really did bless everyone in this room after such turmoil.

Clint arrived with Peter trailing behind him just when the doctor instructed you sit up - you were at ten centimeters. 

‘You gotta push, Y/N! You gotta push when the doctor says push!’

You yelled until your lungs gave out, head almost rolling back but Sam held it in his palm. ‘C’mon, Y/N! You’re doing great!’

You usually had perfect pitch when you sang, never faltering when it was time to hit a high note. But your voice was cracking at the most unusual times, throat rubbed raw as you felt your hips splinter open. 

‘He’s crowning!’

Wanda traded places with Sam real quick, deciding that she wanted to see the baby when he was finally out. Bucky had a death grip on your hand, tears flowing freely and a smile to match Thor’s. 

‘Push, Y/N! Push!’

‘I’m-I’m! I’m sorry! I can’t!’

The doctor was working her hands around the head, trying to ease the baby out easier. ‘Trust me, Y/N. One more big push and the shoulders will be out. That’s the hardest part.’

The doctor’s words were starting to drown out, and your head lolled back again. You felt tiny smacks on your cheeks, ‘C’mon, Y/N. You can do this. Everyone believes in you. You’re so goddamn strong, Y/N!’

That was Bucky’s voice. Bucky. 

You opened your eyes, delirious for a second. ‘Steve?’

Bucky whimpered and nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing kisses all over. ‘He’s here. I feel him, Y/N. You can do this.’

And you could feel him. You could see your family but you could feel him. It was so light, like a gentle whisk across the cheek, a promise that this truly was a miracle. 

You screamed as you pushed under doctor’s orders, feeling numb and abused but satisfied. His shoulders slipped out and along with them came his arms and torso, legs and all ten toes. The doctor caught him quickly, lifting him up vertically to let you see him. He was already crying. 

‘He’s here!’

You sobbed and smiled widely, laughter rattling your chest as the team bombarded you with quick hugs. Sam remained at your side, his eyes motioning for Bucky to go see the baby. 

‘Who’s cutting the cord?’

You looked around the room but you knew. You answered the doctor’s question. ‘Bucky.’

Bucky was truly confused. Not because of your decision, but because he couldn’t possibly be worthy of this. His hands, those hands that had killed so many people involuntarily, had almost killed Steve, those hands were now gripping a pair of medical scissors to cut the symbolization of new life entering the world. He turned to you for permission one last time, before he gripped the cord in his hand and cut where the doctor pointed. 

His shoulders felt a million times lighter. Like he was set free all over again. 

They cleaned the baby up quickly and swaddled him. The doctor placed him in your arms, all warm and utterly safe, to look back up at you with the same blue eyes as his father. 

You sobbed happily, brushing your fingers delicately along his pink cheek. ‘Hi. Hi there.’

He was no longer crying, just staring up in pure astonishment at the various faces staring back at him. 

‘Y/N, he’s beautiful,’ Clint said, tissue already in hand. 

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you spoke softly. 

‘Do we have a name?’

It was like everyone said it in unison. ‘Steve.’

You snuggled into the bed and Natasha’s sweater, somewhat aware of the doctor still fixing you up down there. You would try feeding later, but for now your newborn needed to be passed around the group and be awed at. 

You carefully guided him to Bucky, holding his head gently in your palm. Bucky took him, arms instinctively curling in the correct position. Once Bucky had him in his arms, it was like everything that happened in the world was worth it. Absolutely everything. 

Bucky watched in fascination as the baby curled deeper in his chest, little fist clutching Steve’s sweatshirt. He took the sweetest little intake of air…

`

xxMoni

[blossom-hwa]

college model!juyeon

SO the people have spoken (aka 3 people but it’s more than 0 so I DON’T CARE) and without further ado HERE WE GO IT’S A COLLEGE MODEL JUYEON BLURB. please reblog if you enjoyed and check out my other dumb overly long blurbs in the stream of idiocy tag on my blog <3

pairing: juyeon x gender neutral!reader

wc: 2.4k

genre: fluff, a bit of angst when mc is stressed, university!au

triggers: cursing, like the tiniest bit of suggestive stuff but absolutely nothing explicit (it’s really just saying juyeon is hot which wbk)

fashion major!kevin

TBZ Scenarios Masterlist | TBZ Drabbles Masterlist

so juyeon isn’t actual a professional model-model like he just happens to be v tall and v handsome and therefore catches the eye of every single fucking fashion major (and other people too) on campus but i’m focusing on the fashion majors because he is LITERALLY model material. have you seen those fucking arms and that fucking face ANYWAY MOVING ON juyeon is an absolute sweetheart behind those stupid muscles and anyone who works with him swears it is impossible like legitimately impossible not to fall in love with his dumb little smile but the thing is juyeon only really agrees to model for fashion major kevin usually like sometimes kevin will pull in a favor and ask him to model for someone else who can’t find anyone (bc let’s be real kevin’s got a lot of friends he could definitely rope someone into modeling for him /cough the other 2/3 of bermuda line cough/ but more often than not kevin takes juyeon not bc juyeon is like the best model or whatever (he’s good obv but some people probably have more experience) but bc juyeon is the only one who will willingly wear some of kevin’s more questionable choices

and the fucking thing is. he still looks good in them. he walks down the runway in this weird ass shirt and pants or whatever the hell kevin’s cooked up for this assignment and people are like.... IT’S SO WEIRD BUT WHY IS JUYEON PULLING IT OFF

so YEAH juyeon is happily modeling his way through college while doing a dance major (one time kevin did his makeup to purposely make him look slightly sweaty and the crowd went fucking insane) and he’s got a lot of things going for him, looks, talent, hard work, etc. and he’s v good at dancing, one of the top in his year so in exchange for his modeling work kevin goes to his dance recitals/competitions to cheer him on and that’s actually how juyeon meets you

you’re feeling shitty bc you just broke up with your partner for whatever reason, let’s just say it was not an amicable breakup and you were about to hole yourself up in 1. the dorm or 2. the lab and just drown yourself in work to forget everything but kevin is one of your good friends and he rolls up and is like. nah. fuck no i’m taking you out we are going to get lunch and then we are going to go see my model friend at one of his dance recitals i promise you it will be FUN and??? you can’t exactly refuse because it’s kevin and he’s not wrong you actually do need to go outside and get some fresh air bc the only time you have left a building over the past week or so is to 1. go to class/the lab from your dorm or 2. to go to your dorm from class/the lab (you are a science major here bc i am a science major and i am heavily projecting ok don’t come at me. though i will say you do theoretical physics which i DO NOT DO but i think it’s cool if mind-blowing so again. projection. despite the fact that i will not touch quantum mechanics after today with a ten foot pole)

so kevin forces you outside and the day is going ok like it’s nice out and he pays for the food and the dance recital is amazing and juyeon has this mf solo that’s absolutely gorgeous and you’re like hitting kevin in the shoulder like omg dude how did you score a friend this talented and he’s like??? what the fuck do you mean by that are you saying i’m not talented and you’re like. well. and then he threatens to deck you but it’s all in good fun anyway MOVING ON when the recital is over kevin drags you over to meet juyeon bc he’s like! it is unacceptable that two of my good friends do not know each other and juyeon if you’re not doing anything you should come with us to dinner! and juyeon is like well i was going to go out with the dance team but you two could come with us and he’s all smiley and soft and you half want to praise the heavens and half want to go to hell bc he looks so sweet and happy and lovely and it’s an honor to be in his presence but at the same time you haven’t left a building for like a week and you’re pretty sure you still have eyebags that haven’t disappeared (jokes on you they’ll never disappear this is university) but kevin says yes for both of you and so you end up with dinner plans too

and it’s fun! everyone is really nice and even though you know nothing about dance you and juyeon end up having v cool conversation about each other’s interests and all that and you’re so immersed in talking with him that you don’t see kevin giving you side-eyes next to you every five fucking minutes (he’s like well. i didn’t see this coming but i’m not going to complain) and by the end of the night you have juyeon’s number in your phone and you’ve made plans to get coffee before class the next day (you don’t have the same class but they’re in adjacent buildings and at the same time so why not) and you go back to your dorm feeling happier than you’ve felt all week

it continues like this?? like it’s actually v weird bc even when you two don’t have plans to meet up juyeon just magically appears around where you’re supposed to be and when you remark on this at one point juyeon just kinda blushes and diverts the topic which makes you suspicious a little but he’s really sweet and has no stalker-ish vibes and you also double-check with kevin who just fucking starts laughing over the phone until you hang up bc he clearly doesn’t have the brain cells to talk to you anywho this is model juyeon and i haven’t talked about that much but HERE WE GO 

kevin has a fashion show assignment coming up and juyeon doesn’t have much time to hang out anymore between fittings with kevin + his own major so you end up carting your ass to the fitting sessions after kevin invites you once to see what’s going on and juyeon actually gets scared by all the numbers n shit on your papers bc like what the fuck y/n are you a computer and you just whap him over the head with your stack of homework and say no shut the fuck up and model pretty boy (you don’t see but juyeon blushes bc you called him pretty. kevin saw though and he’s not impressed) but you end up not focusing on your homework bc kevin has juyeon put on and take off clothes at multiple points during the session and ofc if it’s pants or whatever juyeon goes into a different room but if it’s just a shirt.... let’s just say you get a free show and at some point you’re just like yeah i have to go and kevin’s like?? there’s still an hour left and you say something like i can’t focus here the vibes are off and KEVIN KNOWS WHAT’S UP but juyeon is adorably oblivious so he’s just like! ok! see you later y/n i hope you get your homework done :) and he’s so smiley and cute and you just want to melt and cry bc he’s shirtless which is hot asf but he’s also smiling like that which is cute asf and you’re getting whiplash

(you still end up joining the sessions every so often. you bring homework to try and get it done but your time is either spent critiquing kevin’s fashion choices or staring subtly (not) at juyeon)

then a not good week rolls around and it’s just been absolutely shitty between crap professors and too much homework and your lab is working on submitting a paper soon and you’re stressed to the max and to top things off you saw your ex earlier and they tried to talk to you and you really didn’t want to have it so you’re in the lab crying over your computer while you try to proofread the stupid paper and your phone is off bc you don’t want to talk to anyone but then the door bursts open and you nearly have a heart attack and there juyeon stands in clothes that definitely aren’t his own (they’re too sleek and fancy to be normal clothes at least) and his eyes are kinda wild before they locate you in the corner of the room, shell-shocked and confused and also still crying a little bit out of stress 

and oh god juyeon’s eyes just soften totally and he walks over and before you know it you’re being pulled into a juyeon hug which is quite possibly one of the best hugs you have felt in a very long time and you’re doing your best not to break down right then and there bc his clothes feel hella expensive and he’s asking you what’s wrong and you can’t speak bc if you do you’ll cry on his model clothing and you finally manage to say that and there’s a beat of silence and then juyeon just goes well would it help if i took the shirt off 

AND THAT JUST SETS YOU OFF AND NOW YOU’RE CRYING AND LAUGHING AT THE SAME TIME AND JUYEON IS HALF SMILING HALF UPSET THAT YOU’RE STILL SAD BUT LIKE IT’S FINE IT’S TOTALLY FINE AND somehow you manage not to ruin kevin’s latest fashion creation (which makes juyeon look unfairly handsome even through your puffy eyes) and juyeon closes your laptop and takes you out to the convenience store (still dressed in his modeling outfit jfc) and over shitty ramen and alcohol (or water/juice/whatever if you don’t drink) you tell him about your crap week and juyeon commiserates and listens

at some point you ask him why he’s still wearing kevin’s clothes like?? surely you weren’t running around in them all day and juyeon just looks down and mumbles something and you’re like speak louder dude i can’t hear you and apparently he was in the middle of a session w kevin and kevin looked super stressed and worried and juyeon asked what was up and he told him about how you weren’t responding to anything and juyeon just. booked it the fuck out of there to find you and well now here you both are

and that. that just touches the FUCK out of you and wow you’re crying again bc of that and out of guilt for not talking to kevin or anyone and juyeon’s freaking out like oh my god please stop crying did i say something wrong and you’re just wiping your tears away with a napkin like no you doofus i’m sorry i made you worried it was just that shitty week and??? why did you sprint out of there IN KEVIN’S MODEL CLOTHES you gotta give those back??? and it looks like silk you know that’s going to be a bitch to clean

juyeon just pouts then and mumbles something under his breath and is like. it’s not more important than you.

which makes you reel bc that sounded a lot more like a confession than you’re really ready to process and juyeon seems to realize that at the same time and now you two are both just wide-eyed staring at each other and juyeon’s ears are going red and you’re still in shock and at some point you’re like... juyeon you stupid bastard say that again and he DOES and okay maybe you’re not dating by the end of the night but you sure are two weeks later when you ask him whether or not this is now a date and if he’s your boyfriend and juyeon spills coffee all over himself

(he mumbles yes as you’re wiping the coffee off his front though so it’s fine)

(it does not help that the coffee has now made the outline of his stomach visible)

anyway in general it’s a v cute and v sweet relationship :D juyeon is head over heels for you and you’re head over heels for him too and you’re not like the over the top sweet and gross couple you two like to keep it a little low-key but ofc that doesn’t stop kevin from banning you from fitting sessions w juyeon out of fear that you’ll like make out while juyeon’s wearing the modeling clothes but that’s just kevin being a little shit so it’s fine

juyeon manages to bring that silk shirt back to kevin in one clean piece

you manage not to die every time you go to one of juyeon’s dance recitals (even when he puts in a fake eyebrow piercing and you almost have a heart attack)

juyeon often likes to come into the lab for nothing other than to watch you work bc according to him its fascinating to watch you manipulate numbers and actually the lab is a v nice and quiet place to get things done when it’s mostly empty so you have a few study dates there

you go to juyeon’s dance practices sometimes when you have nothing better to do and get excited over showing him the physics of some of the dance moves and juyeon understands almost none of it but he’s beaming bc you’re so excited and animated while talking about it and the first time this happens is when you two have your first kiss. you ask juyeon if he was kissing you to shut you up and he says no i just thought you looked so happy that i had to kiss you

juyeon is a gentleman and you are like the sarcastic best friend turned lover but it really works out and yea there are a lot of people jealous that you managed to wrap juyeon around your finger but you’re also wrapped around his it’s v much a partnership where both of you rely on each other and yeah. it’s sweet. it’s lovely. juyeon hot but more important juyeon best boyfriend ever <3

and that’s how it goes.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for kevin’s clothes let’s all pray that no tears stain his silk)

[mandareeboo]

Unfinished Work #36 (Untitled)

I am really sad I didn’t end up finishing this one. I like a lot of the actual concept of it still; the Horde is anti-love more or less, Adora and Catra are unlearning years of abuse for being in love, etc etc. But it never had a concrete ending. I considered a joke where Glimmer was like “jfc just get together already” and Catra is like “We are??????”, but it didn’t quite fit either. I still think Netossa and Spinny redo their vows after the war, though.

———————————————————————————————————–

"Anything else?" King Micah asks, after what has turned into a three hour long debate as to whether they should name a giant hole in the ground after Prime or She-Ra. They still hadn't decided.

"Is there anything else to say?" Swift Wind replies, his head resting comfortably on Adora's hair bun. "Stuff has to be picked up, lore has to be written down, busywork busywork."

"Ahem," said Spinnerella, standing up. She takes Netossa by the hand and slowly comes to the front of the table, smiling deviously. "May we, Micah?"

The king bowed and stepped back. "Of course."

Spinnerella smiled, grateful. "Thank you." She turned to the gathering of Princesses. "Everyone. As you all know, things have been hectic recently."

Mermista snorted.

"But Etheria has triumphed over all else. Love has triumphed over all else." The wind Princess kissed the back of Netossa's hand. "Do you care to tell them, darling?"

Netossa flung her free hand up. "We're renewing our vows, suckers!"

"Netossa," Spinnerella chided, giggling. "We're here to invite them, not rub their noses in it."

"Can't it be both?"

Catra, who had been petting Melog the past two and a half of those three hours, finally glanced up. She didn't have much to say about a giant hole. She didn't really care about the name. And Melog was fun to pet- soft and surprisingly warm, especially in their mane area. Catra glanced at Adora, hoping to find answers, only to see the familiar blank look she always had whenever she was confused.

Thank stars for Scorpia, who doesn't have issues about swallowing her pride and asking about things. "Congrats! Uhhhhhh…. what is it we're celebrating, exactly?"

"Love," Netossa said, as if that was an actual explanation. "Spinny and I have been married for over fifteen years now. This is just a good way to remember the best choice I've made in my life."

"Follow-up question," Scorpia says. "What is our uniform? Because I have, like, none of the uniforms. I had this nice dress and I think it got lost in the ocean somewhere?" She gestured to her usual outfit with her claw. "So this is basically it."

"We'll find you something," Spinnerella promises. "This doesn't have to happen overnight. We have forever, now." She kisses Netossa's cheek this time. "Isn't that amazing?"

"Isn't that amazing?" Catra repeats a couple of days later with venom, pulling on her tuxedo jacket. "I know this is happy ever after or whatever, but why does happy ever after have to have so many damn clothes?"

Adora adjusts her tie with a shrug. It's a pale sea-green, and easily the best part of the entire outfit. "I asked Bow about it, and apparently they got married in a ditch right after Micah vanished. I guess they wanted to one-up that."

"Stars, I wish that was me."

"Getting married in a ditch?"

"No, in a ditch. Letting the grass reclaim me." Catra scowled at herself in the mirror. Her hair was beginning to grow out a bit, finally, but it'd be ages yet before it was back to its proper glory. "Any chance we could skip?"

"Only if you're willing to get the shit kicked out of you by Netossa." Adora pulled a small headband out from a random drawer. Crude ladybugs littered the blank plastic. "Here."

She bristled, eyeing it suspiciously. "You know I don't like stuff on my neck."

"It's not for your neck." Adora carefully tucked it behind her ears, letting it slide into place. She decided screw it, she was already here, and pressed their foreheads together. "There. Now your bangs are out of the way. Everyone can see your cute freckles."

"Stars, you're corny." Catra's skin rumbled lightly with the force of her purr, but when they locked eyes again hers wavered. "Do you... think we'll ever be important enough to get away with that stuff?"

Adora blinked at her, a bit taken aback. "You want to kiss me in front of the Princess Alliance?"

"What? Ew. No. Affection is disgusting. I guess I just... want to be important enough to everyone to be so open about it."

"You are," she promised, taking Catra's hands in her own. "You delivered the Failsafe to the Heart of Etheria! And that's just in the name of the rebellion. You climbed so high in the Horde."

Catra made a face. "That's not exactly getting me brownie points here."

"Maybe, but it's still impressive. You're impressive."

"Tell me how you really feel," she teased, but her purring had gotten considerably louder.

Adora intertwined their fingers. "One day, it'll be our turn at the front of the table."

———————————————————————————————————–

The problem was less that they were necessary and more of a tenure thing, Catra reflected some time later. She-Ra was one helluva bargaining chip, and Catra hadn't exactly been a slouch during the war.

That said, they were still two very young members of a rebellion almost as old as the stars, and they were very much replaceable now. Memories of history like Spinnerella and Netossa can hug and kiss and be and it's not an issue. Two morons who used to dare each other to eat entire pounds of ration bars had to be a bit more discrete. So it had been in the Horde, and so it would be here.

Somehow, by some miracle, it was the exact same day Sea Hawk had managed to pull Mermista up on stage for karaoke night.

"I hate this," Mermista groans into the microphone. She glares at the snickering. "I hate all of you too."

"Come on, dearest," Sea Hawk encouraged. It'd become something of a pet name for them, if pet name included Sea Hawk bellowing it during his shanties and Mermista chucking waves at him for doing it, trying- and failing- to hide a smirk. "You sang an epic rock remix in a battle! How is this any different?"

"Uuuuh, the epic rock remix was a battle cry about how I would personally rip some Horde scum apart with my bare hands for destroying my land. This is just a shitty mic. Also you've had too many wine coolers."

"NONSENSE!" Sea Hawk cried. He was holding onto the mic stand for dear life. Somehow, despite being a man who spent a good chunk of time in bars, he'd proven to be quite the lightweight. "It'll be an ADVENTURE!"

"I think we've had enough of that for one lifetime."

"I BELEIVE IN YOU," bellowed Scorpia, who had had none of the alcohol and all of the dopamine.

Catra banged her fists on the table. "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

"Don't be a little shit," Mermista said into the mic, then blanched, "Frosta, never say that word ever."

Frosta was busy sipping at her chocolate milk. She stopped and met her eyes, scowling. "Stop being a coward and sing, coward. Or I'll do it."

"I'll sing you a love ballad," Sea Hawk promised with his patented puppy dog eyes.

"I'll literally do this so you don't," Mermista replied, taking the mic with a small smile. "Fine, whatever."

It's disgusting in how sweet it is. Catra watches the spectacle with some distaste, rolling her eyes when Sea Hawk attempts a dip and Mermista flips it around on him. The pirate doesn't seem to be complaining, if his blush is anything to go by. Scorpia claps along and- is that tears? Yup, those are tears. She's crying.

It's not that Catra is jealous. It's not. (She is, but that's not the point). They're just so... brazen about it. Like this is normal. Like this is okay. Ten years of knowing each other and Shadow Weaver had given them shit for holding hands. Fifteen and having a sleepover and getting horrible punishments. Catra and Adora had to claw and spit just to stay on the same squadron, while these chumps could do whatever.

It made her pause. A little. Could they do that? Catra glanced at Adora out of the corner of her eye. The warrior didn't seem all that surprised, watching with a polite detachment, like this was a book and they'd reached a really boring flashback. The idea of standing up and doing something even slightly like what Sea Hawk and Mermista did was... no. Just no.

But maybe she could do this.

Catra edged over a little and stiffly leaned against her. Adora jumped a little, blinked a little, and wound her arm loosely around Catra's waist, thumb softly rubbing circles in her side.

Alright then.

This is okay.

Catra can do this.

[xfanfics]

Destiel Fic Rec List Part 3

Last Updated in October 2014. Posted in May 2020 for posterity. Listed in no particular order - the total rec list will have ~250 fics. Header graphic used with permission.

This part of the list contains: 37 fics.

Other Destiel Rec Lists: [1]. [2]. [3]. [4]. [5]. [6]. [7].

—–

Teenage Dirtbag by littleartemis E | 7k | Canon!verse, Hot, sub!dean, dom!cas

Dean gets magically deaged so he's physically young again. Problem is he's a 'twink' once more and he can't hunt like this. Frustrated he takes it out on Cas who's getting to the end of his patience and decides a spanking is in order. He just didn't figure in that Dean might enjoy it.

The Perks of Playing Quidditch by noangelsinthegarrison G | 1k | Fluff,  Wizarding World AU

“So,” Dean coughs, drawing Cas’s attention back to his eyes, “Any chance this taught you not to fly when you’re sick?    Cas chuckles low in his throat and thinks that if Dean Winchester catching him mid-air, strong arms holding him against a solid, warm chest, was his reward, he hasn’t learnt any such thing. He pushes the thought down before he can say it out loud and instead raises an eyebrow. “Dean, you played through a broken leg last year.

AGGHHHHHHHHHH SO CUTE  

Adiago by noangelsinthegarrison G | 6k | Fluff,  Dancer AU

“His name’s Dean," Cas sighs, "And he’s really stupidly attractive, and when he dances, he feels it, you know? And it makes me feel like I know him, even though I don’t. He makes me feel like… like he’s dancing just for me.    Gabriel rolls his eyes, “Wow you’re overdramatic when you’re horny.

This fic is super adorable. Lovely and full of pining, which happens to be my fave.    

Good Clean Wholesome All-American Kink by Amelia_clark E | 2k Hot, Canon!verse

Dean's stronger than Cas now, and Cas kind of hates that. So Dean finds a way around it--he just needs to be tied up.

ImmMmMMmm HOT    

Roots and Wings by Elensulev E | 51k [WIP] | BDSM AU, soulmate AU, sub!dean, dom!cas

In an alternate universe where you learn your soulmate sometime around puberty, Dean Winchester is shocked not just that he is a sub, but that a man's name appeared on his wrist. John Winchester doesn't suffer subs gladly, and Dean takes the brunt of his father's misogynistic attitude. Can the mysterious Castiel convince him he is worthwhile? AU where Sam and Dean are raised apart, Cas is human, and John is a hunter raised by a disgruntled Man of Letters.

A fusion of the soulmate's-name-on-the-wrist and the dom/sub verses. Though the John parts are painful to read (this fic is NOT for John-lovers), the over all effect is worth it, and gentle-dom!Cas is my absolute favorite. Edit from 2020: Holy SHIT this fic is long now.  

Highwaymen. by orange_crushedv M | 66k | Harry Potter AU

Dean closes his eyes. He is under a blanket in his memories, fabric pulled up under his chin and his face pressed near to hers on the pillow. His father is asleep, snoring slightly, hands loose and expression happy, curled around her on the other side. She's speaking in whispers. He knows that she was already pregnant then, that Sam was on his way into their lives, even though he'd had no idea what exactly that meant at the time. He can almost see her face still, warm and orange in the light of her lumos circling their heads like a firefly, but every now and then she blurs in his vision, like a lost thread of consciousness, something half-remembered. Bit by bit, he's losing her.

The Wizarding World AU I never knew I wanted!    

Understanding your body in ten easy steps by almaasi E | 12k | Canon!verse, Masturbation

All Dean has to do is track down a decent porno for Cas to watch, help him find his sensitive spots, then hang back and let him do his thing. Easy-peasy. No homo. ...Absolutely no homo at all.

Casturbation. Fuck yes.    

Blackboard by lemonoclefox E | 76k | College AU, BDSM elements, sub!dean, dom!cas

Castiel Novak is a college English teacher, in a rather inappropriate relationship with Dean Winchester, who happens to be one of his students. But although their arrangement is one that works perfectly for the both of them, Castiel is starting to worry that maybe keeping it impersonal will be harder than he thought.

Perfect. The story is actually 8 chapters long, but the other 8 chapters are told from Dean's point of view.  

On Air by wincechesters E | 21k | Fluff, Radio Host AU

Cas and Dean are radio DJs who host the second most popular morning show in Lawrence. They’ve been co-hosts for years at different stations across the country, and they own a house together out of necessity, even though they’re just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship, which they’re totally not (besides that one time that totally doesn’t count). In spite of that, Dean thinks he’s got everything figured out, until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down (and the billboards around town aren’t helping either).

FLUFFY CUTENESS AWW    

Courage of Stars by mcpadalacklesv T | 3k | College AU,

Dean's brain is stuck on 'he's leaving me he's leaving me' and he thinks about saying don't go or I'll come with you, but what comes out of his mouth is, "I don't think you get loose-leaf tea on the moon.Wherein Dean (who owns a bookstore) and Cas (an astrophysicist grad student) have been best friends since they were kids, NASA nearly screws things up, and tea is mentioned far too often.

THIS IS ADORABLE JFC. I loved the part about tea strainers omg  

How to Improve a dull day by arigatou_sunshine E | 7k | Soulmates AU, ABO, omega!dean, alpha!cas

Dean's about to pick up something not on his grocery list.At 28, Dean meets his alpha while shopping for groceries.

I just... Um. Yes. I have a sweet spot for the true mates trope and this is a very sweet example of that :)  

Ignite by angelofthemoorv E | 86k | Vampire AU

While investigating a lead regarding a serial killer, Dean Winchester suffers a beating. When he wakes up, he discovers a stranger named Castiel has been caring for him. But Castiel has a secret--he is a vampire. He is not like other vampires, however. His mission is to protect humankind, and he has been pursuing the serial killer, too. Will the friendship between Dean and Castiel endure the trials ahead? Will their mutual attraction develop into something more?

Feels 'Verse  by Gemmiel E | 18k | Fluff,  Alt!canon

Castiel discovers that being human is very different from being an angel, physically speaking, and Dean helps him explore the differences. AU for season 9 in which Cas goes straight to the bunker and Sam heals spontaneously from the trials.

Wow this verse is so lovely and fluffy that I just want to cuddle it. Basically how Season 9 should have gone.  

Thunder & Angels by pm_lo E | 51k

Castiel’s family owns the shoddily-regulated coal mine where John Winchester works, so Dean storms Cas’s mansion, demanding answers from the drugged-out trust-fund kid. In exchange for his help repairing the mine, Cas demands Dean live with him for three months and give Cas a shot at seducing him by allowing him one kiss a day.

AHHHH!!! This was PERFECT. Love the characterizations, plot, fluff and angst amaze. read the thingggg    

Cockiness by robomanticv E | 7k | Hot,  AU Panty!kink

Dean didn’t usually come to this kind of place, but Sam had given him the puppy dog eyes and argued and pleaded and even bribed him with pie. He was seeing some new girl who apparently very into the alternative burlesque scene and she had invited them to come see a show on her night off. Aka: The one where Dean sees his first burlesque show, learns that male burlesque performers are a thing, and tries a lot of new (sexual) things. Also my Castiel underwear kink makes an appearance because I'm weakkkk

Bunker 41 by CaptainMercy42 T | 25k | Fluff, Scientist AU

Dr. Castiel Novak is giving Lieutenant Dean Winchester a simple tour of BUNKER41 when an explosion traps them both inside. They'll get out eventually. Some days that thought is very comforting, and other days it makes Cas a little sad (DENIAL: a lot sad).

CUDDLING.

Pulled From The Wreckage  by DarkmoonSigel M | 30k | Alt!canon, wing!kink

Angel and shameless wingfic. Dean notices that he is changing into something but is it something that he can accept? Mature for a reason for later chapters so bear with me here.

The Auction by TamrynEradani E | 8k

Dean's a firefighter and Cas is a police officer, and they both end up at the bar, miserable after their auction dates. Lucky for them, the night is still young.

I just um... Hnng. Firefighter!Dean and Cop!Cas.    

Welcome to the Dork Side by TamrynEradani T | 15k

Dean's handing out pie when he has an odd encounter with Castiel Novak.

Super cute! :)    

Both Sides Now by TamrynEradani T | 21k |Alt!canon, genderswap!dean

Dean solves a hunt and realizes he's in love. He does most of this while cursed into a female body which means he's also dealing with being a woman, and it's more complicated than he had realized.

Shut Your Mouth by runoutofwit E | 2k | Hot, Dom!Cas

Dean’s not sure how they ended up this way, but he doesn’t care. He didn’t expect this. He didn’t expect Castiel, Angel of the Lord, to be the equivalent of a hormone-ravaged teenager, and he sure as hell didn’t expect him to be an asshole about it.

Hella dom!cas with bossy!bottom dean mmm.    

What I need by xaandria E | 46k | Medical AU

A joking phrase commonly heard between a surgeon and his tech is "Give me what I need, not what I ask for." Dr. Novak and his tech Dean will soon learn the impact this phrase has on life outside the operating room.

Surgical AU! Very terminology heavy, so I didn't understand some parts. But very good regardless.    

Starborn by riseofthefallenone G | 12k

Dean’s obsession with the stars starts all thanks to Sam. He just didn't know where that would take him in life. Or who - or what - he would meet.

This is LOVELY.    

Love Out of Chaos by mar_map E | 30k

Sam needs homework help, Dean likes to cuddle (although he won't admit it), John gets shot, Gabriel teaches Castiel to loosen up, and Balthazar likes to flirt. That's not what's important though. What is important, is that Castiel and Dean were always meant to be (even if the two of them have trouble seeing it at first), and though Castiel lost his family, another one just might have sneaked up on him while he wasn't looking.

You Deserve This by ticklethetoastl E | 2k | Fluff,  PWP Canon!verse

Sex with Cas was never supposed to be an emotional experience, and Dean doesn't deserve to be made love to.

Praise!kink is my ultimate weakness.    

S'only you. by louise97 T | 3k

Dean wasn't sure about what exactly had led them there—the cuddle accident, morning wood issues or the growing tension between them for the past few days—but yet there they were, and he had no fucking idea what to do (at first).

*keyboard smash* soOOoOoO CUTE  

Freckles by 2spooky4u E | 7k | Fluff

"I had to draw all them perfectly," Cas insists, and Dean suddenly can't get rid of the image of Cas, clutching on to a Crayola washable marker, jamming it into his skin forcefully like a little kid mashes his markers on the paper in a vehement attempt to make the color deeper. ”And now you're insulted 'cause I don't appreciate 'em?" Dean asks, bewildered. "No," Cas lies petulantly. "Huh." The stubborn child version of Cas Dean has painted in his mind is now clutching his paper possessively, shielding it from scrutiny. They drive in silence for a while. "Thank you for making my freckles," Dean grouses finally, knowing that it's the only way Cas will forgive him. ((((OR, IN WHICH CAS LIKES DEAN AND HIS FRECKLES, AND DEAN IS STUBBORNLY HETEROSEXUAL))))

Simple and adorable. Pining!cas and Discovering his bisexuality!Dean. Addresses Dean's self worth issues :D️    

Appoggiatura by ceeainthereforthat E | 121k | College au

Castiel leaves the religious commune of Heaven Farms to study classical piano after winning a full scholarship paid for by the Deanna Campbell Memorial Foundation, and answers an ad in the campus newspaper: 1 bedroom to let. Meals provided. 50mb wifi, quiet odd music student preferred.

Super interesting world building. Love the imagery and writing style.    

Good Books, Bad Movies by Amelia_Clark E | 17k | Fluff, Hot,  Bookstore AU

Castiel Novak is an award-winning, heavily tattooed writer of dark fantasy (think China Mieville). Dean Winchester runs a quirky book/video store called Good Books, Bad Movies. There's a reading, some lit-nerd flirting, and eventually smut amongst the shelves.

First of all, this is adorable. Second of all it's smoking hot.    

Alone Together by ScarletPhoenix E | 26k | Dean/Cas/BennyA/b/o AU

Dean Winchester has never expected to be happy. As an omega, his only hope is that he’ll end up with an alpha that’ll think of him as a human being and take him away from his abusive father. Castiel Novak isn’t allowed to be happy. As a beta, he’s forced by his parents to hide who he is under fake bravado and forced hormone therapy. The one thing that keeps him going is his love for his best friend, Dean. Benny Lafitte has given up on happiness. As an alpha, he should be mated with little ones running around under feet, but that isn’t how life played out. Instead he focuses on running his restaurant and ignoring his empty house. When these three meet, will they finally find the happiness they deserve?

Come Clean by snuggycas E | 3k | Hot,  A/B/O AU, PWP, Omega!dean, Alpha!cas

When Sam makes Dean help for the Universities annual car wash fundraiser, he meets Castiel Milton, a business intern who is finishing his masters degree. When they go on a date and Dean's heat suppressants fail, they make a discovery that will change their lives forever. This is all porn to be honest.

Hot and Cute <3 Also this hit all my kinks haha.    

grip them tight and raise them from pernicion by flux E | 20k | Fluff,  Much ado about nothing au, highschool au

Dean and Cas have been at each other's throats for years, but Anna and Sam are determined to change that for the better. With a well-placed love letter and some careful direction, they manage to get the two into a semi-antagonistic, fiercely competitive, and emotionally confusing game of relationship chicken. Now they just need to get to prom.

Fucking adorable and hilarious. I love much ado about nothing so much, and this was a wonderful rendition!  

The face of heaven. by orange_crushed T | 9k | Fluff,  AU

"This is the best day of my life," Castiel tells him, when he comes back. "You’ve been so kind to me." His cheeks are glowing a little from the cold, or maybe just because he’s an otherworldly being full of light. Dean doesn’t know. "If I burn another million years, I won’t forget it. "Oh," says Dean. "Good." (In which Castiel is a fallen star.)

PERFECT! Oh my heart!    

Hold Me Close by twisting_vine_x E | 7k | Star trek AU

Pon farr Destiel AU. In which Castiel is a half-Vulcan scientist, Dean is an engineer, and they’re best friends who are stationed aboard the USS Enterprise for her first five-year voyage. An away mission going wrong. Getting stranded together on some deserted planet. Just another day in the lives of a couple of Starfleet officers, but when the Vulcan side of Cas suddenly makes itself know, he and Dean are put in a position that has the potential to either make or break them.

Ghost Dance  by omphalos E | 51k | Angst, Alt!Canon

In post-apocalyptic isolation, Castiel nurses Dean back to something like his former self, but will a time come when Dean's recovered --and rediscovered-- too much?

Very angsty, very sad. This wrecked me with perfection. Be sure to read the tags.    

  Meringue by SurlyCat E | 23k | Dean/Cas/Jimmy, Hot, College AU

Dean and Cas have been together for about six months, when Cas starts to get antsy about their sex life. The sex has been good and all, but what Dean doesn't know is that his shy, sweet little boyfriend has been holding back. One confusing spur of the moment date with his boyfriend's twin later, and Dean finds out that Cas may not be as innocent as he thought.

*fans self* well basically this is really hot and you should read it. if you're into d/c/j of course.    

A Room Of One's Own by NorthernSparrow E | 94k | Hot,  alt!canon

All Dean wants is a little privacy. Cas doesn't understand.

Omfg. This was hilarious, wonderful, and hot. A+. Basically crack, but with emotional moments and hot porn. so, yep.

[cherrysnax]

//lateass Mutual Tag :D

beps tagged me like 10 days ago and i love being tagged in things!! mandated reminder to followe @naxzela or pewish!!

nickname: okay, so im not really a nickname person but most people call me eli (or even more cursed, ewi) elly, jaah, pj calls me elijah hemsworth and i don’t know why, and im pretty fond of the nickname pumpkin, @nnaiad calls me lord farquad but if you do that i’m legally allowed to kill you.

zodiac: Leo ( august 9th babes)

height: 5′5/ i used to be the tall kid, man :(

age: 17 going on 18 (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

time: i started this at like 8:30 and it’s 9:58 now lmao

fave bands/artists: i still like brockhampton, sometimes i like kendrick, but only sometimes, paramore is aight, and.. you Know.. the boys,, btr (dont fucking @ me) and i still love vocaloid ;; song stuck in my head: memory from cats (but only one specific part????)

last movie i watched: hhhh???? i don’t remember?

last thing i googled:  diphylleia

other blogs: hoooo okay, @bxgtxmerush is my BTR blog (dont judge) @analogggs​ is our system blog (one of them at least lmao), @loopnovas is my simblr lmao, i have others that aren’t active, and all of my alters have tumblrs, but ya’ll don’t need to know ‘em.

do i get asks?: I get a ton now and it’s awesome! i love talking to people!!

why i chose my username?: it me name, pal.

following: 1,111. i need to unfollow a loooot of blogs. 

average amount of sleep: hehehehe. like three hours on a good day. i try, but sleep is hard to come about uwu

lucky number: 14.

what am i wearing: Grey muscle shirt we’ve had since we were a wee lad, it fits better now than it did before lmAO. some really tattered leggings that are actually turned inside out AND backwards. and a choker, cause i’m hot like that.

dream job: not working and being rich sounds fun i wanna write cartoons or comics, maybe even draw ‘em.

dream trip: ehhh, i wanna go to greece one day.

play any instruments: self taught piano, and i used to play the trombone (i joined the school band to impress a gal and a guy i like, and i hated it)

fave song: hehehe Dreams Of an Absolution, Lee Brotherton (yes its a sonic song. yes its from sonic 06. what about it,)

play any sport: ha, nope! jay does love him some hockey though!

hair colour: black-brown, reaaally wanna dye it silver though.

eye colour:  warm brown.

most iconic song: either Return of the Mack, or Toxic.

language(s) you speak: english and some ASL

random fact: my bones refuse to break???

describe yourself as aesthetics: The loud whirring of a laptop in an empty room at the crack of dawn, the soft scuffling of socks against a carpeted floor, chewed down nails and raw fingertips, sharp breaths that you can’t figure out if it’s from a laugh or a sob, the smell of blood and lavender, a judging click of the tongue and a cheeky grin, water bottles with flowers growing from them, holding your own hand as rain falls down harder and harder. haircuts that you instantly regret, letters never written. a missed sunset. i tagggg uh,, anyone?? if you wanna do it hh do it aedfghj

[hufflepuff-ravenclaw-reviews]

Discovery of Witches Season 1 Episode 2

I know that last week with the pilot episode of Discovery of Witches, I said that I was curious to see where the writers of the show were going to take this.

However, after having watched another episode, I've decided that they're doing the same, plodding pacing of the source material.

So even though it was only around 40 minutes, I felt every damned nanosecond of this episode.

I also kept hitting the “forward five seconds” button, and it somehow didn't make this episode seem to drag on any less.

For a good chunk of the episode, it was broken into three parts.

The first followed a vampire in Italy named Julia. She attacked and killed a French tourist by name of Matthew. (Or whatever his French name was. I don't care.)

And... I feel like there was a vampire named Julia in the books. But I'll be damned if I can remember things like that... but I can remember the fucking cabbage vendor. JFC.

There was also a subplot where one or more vampires were going around and murdering humans, and the supernatural community was like “Oh no, that's bad.” But they never actually did anything that we saw on the page.

This subplot never really goes anywhere, except to let us know that Julia and our own Matthew were once lovers. Back in the day of corsets and such.

Then, with Matthew's subplot. He goes off to his buddy Hamish's place to go hunting. And... hello scene ripped directly from the Twilight movies. The episode spent an ungodly amount of time focusing on Matthew chasing after a deer. Like... we get it. He's going to eat the deer. Move on.

After, he talks with Hamish about the book. But even then, it's nothing that wasn't already covered in the first episode. He also talks about Diana, and how he has a boner for her. Hamish warns Matthew to keep himself away from Diana until he can control himself.

Finally, with Diana. She's approached by Peter Knox (Nox? Whatever) who worms his way into having tea with her simply by saying that he once knew her mother. This, of course, leads to talking about the book. He tells her that he wants the book simply because it might contain the answer on how to “destroy” the vampires. Diana disagrees with all of this, and states over and over that she doesn't know how she called the book up, and it shouldn't be her problem that they can't.

(Further thought watching this episode: if they couldn't get Diana to help them, then... why can they not attempt to repeat her process? It seems to me like all of the hopes of the three races was that... somebody was going to do all of the work for them. Mainly Diana. But like... Okay but why?)

And furthermore, Knox doesn't exactly make a good point of winning Diana over when he literally gets into her mind and threatens her later at a party. Sure, that'll make her do what you want. /sarcasm

Some time later, Satu approaches Diana and figures out that there's something kind of blocking her magic. Which is way more foreshadowing of events than Harkness managed in three books and 15k pages.

Diana is sent scurrying for Matthew when she finds Knox at Jillian's house/apartment the day after Peter tried to attack her at the party. Diana is wounded by this, since she thought that Jill was her friend... and never really suspected that Jill was the one who told Peter that she pulled the book out.

Matthew takes Diana to the lab, where he shows her what he's been working on. And by showing her, I mean he literally pulled up charts and I swear that they spent ten fucking minutes talking about this. It was every bit as tedious to watch as it was tedious to read in the books.

WAS THIS REALLY FUCKING NECESSARY TO SHOW THIS? YOU COULD HAVE JUST GLOSSED OVER THE FACT THAT THERE'S SOMETHING MAKING WITCHES LESS MAGIC-Y.

Diana told Matthew about what Peter said about how the witches made the vampires, and now wish to unmake them. However, Matthew disagrees. He goes so far as to state that witches have a giant ego and think that they make fucking everything, even when everybody knows that it's not about witches at all. :le sigh:

However, Matthew hopes to fully understand all three of the races by studying the book. And from their history, he can begin to better understand what's happening to them today.

Diana doesn't seem overly concerned about moving forward in any bit of a timely fashion (you know, kind of like in the books. I still remember them deciding to call the book up at the library, and then waiting around for two full hours.) However, Matthew views things a bit differently. This is a man who followed Charles Darwin's discoveries when he was first making them. So he's old as balls. For him, Diana's life will surely pass in the blink of an eye. So while Diana says “we're not going to die out tomorrow”, Matthew is like “Not for you, maybe. But for me.” And that's a scary thought for him.

As mentioned at the beginning, this episode seemed to drag on forever, and was filled with so much padding, it should be in a mattress store. I was really curious to see how this show would progress, and if it would somehow be better than the source material.

The first episode seemed mildly promising, but after having watched the second, I can't really say that I'm in any way looking forward to the third episode.

As such, this is going to be filed under “DNF”. I'm going to move on with my life now.

[bonkybornes]

The Road So Far: Pilot Pt.1

"Dean, dad. I have to talk to you." Sam muttered shakily, with a worried glance stolen to each other, they sat down. He cleared his throat before speaking, "I- I know that you don't think this is okay, but if you could-" He swallowed thickly, "If you could just try to respect my choices, it would really mean a lot to me." Dean and John grew increasingly worried with every breath Sam  tried to fight back tears. "I'm um, I'm gay." He closed his eyes, blocking out the small motel room and his family's reactions.

It was John who spoke first, "You're what?" Anger spitting through his teeth, his father pushed out insult after insult, "You're a fag?"(A/N It physically pains me to write that word jfc) Sam took a shuddering breath before opening his eyes, feeling his father's fuming anger much before he saw it. "I- I mean-" A small amount of pain on his cheek - to whip him into shape, as his father always said - hit his face. The sixteen year old held back tears. No chick flick moments, dammit. His brother hadn't made a sound apart from a small breath leaving his lips as their father hit Sam, he kept opening his mouth like he was going to say something, but ultimately decided against it. "Boy, tell me where I went wrong with you, I loved you. I raised you to be better than this. I raised you to be a hunter! Like dean!" At this point the man's voice wasn't a shout, not a yell, only a whisper. A whisper that he managed to make more threatening than anything he could do.

"I never wanted that life dad. I just wanted to be normal, I wanted to have a family I could trust to treat me like a freaking human being no matter what I said, did, or was!" Sam's voice went from shaking and unstable to strong and angry at the drop of a pin, despite the tears now streaming down his face. "Maybe it would just be better for you to pretend I don't exist anymore. I'm going away for a while." He walked around his father, stealing a glance at dean, who was sitting in the corner trying to sustain an indifferent facial expression. "What about you? Do you agree with him dean?" His brothers mouth opened for a second, sparking hope before he closed it, cleared his throat, and cast his gaze to the ugly motel carpeting. Sam scoffed, "Fine." He gathered his things in the well-loved duffel bag he'd had since he was ten and headed towards the door.

As he reached out for the handle, his father spoke up. "Sam, you walk out that door and you stay gone. Your choice." With only a glance at his brother, Sam opened that motel door, and closed of any chance of going back.

***

Four years later

"Sam, where's your costume?" Jay asked. He rolled his eyes slightly.

"You know how I feel about halloween babe." The older boy let out a sigh, "What time do we have to leave?" Sam wondered.

"Like fifteen minutes ago." The boy dressed as a murdered doctor exclaimed.Sam looked at Jay with a sparkle in his eyes.

"What would I do without you?" He asked Jay. The boy sighed and pretended to think.

"Hmm, crash and burn, probably."

~

"So how does it feel to be the golden boy of the family?" Jess asked later that night. Sam's face fell just a bit, not enough for anyone but him to notice.

"Ah, they don't know." Jess put her hand over her chest as she took another shot, the liquid stinging her throat as it went down.

"What? Why not? I would be gloating to everyone with the scores you have!" At this point everyone was just a little bit tipsy, and by a little bit tipsy I mean drunk. Everyone except Sam, that is.

"Yeah well we aren't exactly the brady's, Jess." They chuckled a bit before taking another shot each.

~

thump. Sam's eyes blinked open, he crept out of the covers, checking that Jay was okay. Creeping downstairs, he saw the kitchen light on. Before he had time to be confused about it, he saw a figure move out of the corner out of his eye. Sam spun around and swung at the figure's head, cursing himself for not grabbing a weapon. The figure dodged the punch and turned around to face Sam before tackling him to the ground.

Sam struggled for a second before hearing the person speak, "Woah, easy tiger." Confusion crossed his face.

"Dean? You scared the crap outta me!" The two sat for just a moment before the older of the two spoke up.

"That's because your'e off your game, Sammy." He pointed out, chuckling before he was flipped onto his back, "Or not." He said with a hint of pride. "Get off of me." The boys got off of the floor quickly, another figure joined them.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sam asked, slightly out of breath.

Dean gave an airy chuckle, "I was looking for a beer!"

"Sam?" Jay said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Sam couldn't help but check him out just a little, being that Jay slept in only pajama pants.

"Jay, this is my brother, Dean. Dean, this is my, uh- my boyfriend, Jay." Though Dean would never admit it, he took a quick look up and down Jay's chest before reaching out his hand for Jay to shake.

"Nice to meet you." He declared. At this point Sam starts to wonder what sort of god-given miracle happened for his brother and his boyfriend to get along like this.

"Dean, what are you doing here? We didn't exactly end things on a high note." Both of the brothers took a second to remember that day.

"Yeah, well some family stuff came up. Can I talk to you in the other room?" Making a split second decision, hoping this didn't have anything to do with hunting, Sam cleared his throat.

"No. Anything you need to say, you can say in front of Jay." There was a moment of consideration on Dean's part before he said something.

"Okay, uh- Dad hasn't been home in a few days." What the hell does this have to do with me? Sam thought.

"So he's working overtime on a 'Miller Time' shift, I'm sure he'll stumble back in sooner or later." He shrugged Dean's comment off with a sort of code that he would understand. Dean looked at Sam for a moment, hoping he would catch on.

"Um, dad's on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days." Realization hit the younger boy's face.

"Jay would you excuse us?"

~

"I mean, come on! You can't just break in in the middle of the night and expect me to hit the road with you!" Sam exclaimed. He wasn't really excited about the idea of seeing dad again. Dean sighed.

"You're not hearing me, Sammy! Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him." Dean had been trying to convince Sam that he needed help finding dad, which had only happened on a few occasions before this.

"Remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the devil's gates in Clifton? He was missing then too. He's always missing, and he's always fine!" Sam could not for the life of him understand why Dean could possibly need his help.

"Not for this long. Now are you gonna come with me or not?"

"I'm not."

"Why not?"

"I swore I was done hunting, for good." When Sam had sworn that it was out of rage at his family, so at this point neither of them were sure that he actually meant it.

"Come on, it wasn't easy but it wasn't that bad." The younger boy rolled his eyes at his brother's statement.

"Yeah? When I told dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45." The two had stopped in the middle of a stairwell as they had this exchange, headed out to the impala.

"What was he supposed to do?!"

"I was nine years  old!" Sam scoffed, "He was supposed to say 'don't be afraid of the dark'."

"Don't be afraid of the dark, are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark, you know what's out there!" Dean raised his voice.

"Yeah, I know. But still - the way we grew up after mom was killed, and dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her, but we still haven't found the damn thing! So we kill everything we can find."

"Save a lot of people doing it too." That was true, for the record. The amount of lives they saved was amazing.

Sam scoffed, "You think mom would've wanted this for us? The weapon training? The melting silver into bullets? Dean we were raised like warriors!"

"So what are you gonna do? Are you just gonna live some normal, apple pie life?" Dean wondered,  "Is that it?"

"No, not normal. Safe."

"And that's why you ran away." Ran away? Sam thought, I was kicked out!

"Hey, I was just trying to be open with you guys. It was dad who told me if I was going, I should stay gone, and that's what I'm doing."

"Well dad's in real trouble right now." Dean worried, "If he's not dead already. I can feel it. I can't do this alone."

"Yeah, you can." There was a pregnant pause before dean spoke.

"Yeah. Well, I don't want to."

Sam took a deep breath before answering. "What was he hunting?"

~

Dean opens the trunk, revealing the small arsenal they both knew so well, "So dad was checking out this two-lane black top just outside of Jericho, California. About a month ago this guy," He says, handing the papers full of evidence to his brother. "They'd found his car but he'd vanished. Completely M.I.A."

Sam takes a moment to read over the paper. 'Centennial Highway Disappearance: Last week, tragedy struck the Carey family, as Andrew Carrey went missing. He was last seen driving down centennial highway...' He read to himself, "So maybe he was kidnapped." He states, having not much else to go on.

"Yeah, here's another one in April." He says sorting through a stack of papers labeled 'Jericho Herald'. "Another one in December '04, '03, '98, '92, ten of them over the past twenty years." Dean states, taking the paper out of his brothers hands and putting it with the rest. "All men, all on the same five mile stretch of road." Dean digs around in a duffel, looking for an old recorder, "It started happening more and more, so dad went to go take a look. I haven't heard from him in about three weeks, which is bad enough." He lets out a small 'aha' as he pulls out the recorder he'd been looking for. "I got this voicemail yesterday." He says, pressing play on the recorder.

"Dean....Something big is starting to happen..." There's a fit of static, "I need to try to figure out what's going on. It may.......Be very careful dean, we're all in danger." There's a brief moment where everything is silent. The recording had been staticy and spotty, that couldn't mean anything good.

"You know there's EVP on that?" Dean breaks out into a grin before replying through a chuckle.

"Kinda like riding a bike, isn't it?" His brother shakes his head and crosses his arms across his chest uncomfortably. "Alright," Dean starts, "I slowed it down, ran it through a gold wave, took out the hiss, and this is what I got." The click of the play button echoes through the air as a raspy female voice comes through the speakers.

"I can never go home..." He presses stop right after the message ends, almost like he knows the recording inside and out.

"Never go home?" Sam wonders quietly. The older brother closes the trunk and leans up against it with a heavy sigh.

"You know, in almost four years, I've never asked you for anything..." He states as more of a question. Sam sighs, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. He licks his lips slightly before continuing the conversation.

"Alright, I'll go. I'll help you find him." A smile twitches at Dean's mouth. "But I have to be back first thing monday. Wait here." He says, walking back towards his apartment. Turning around when his brother speaks.

"What's on monday?" He wonders, confusion clear on his face. "Job interview? Skip it." Sam rolls his eyes slightly, loosing track of how many times he'd actually done that tonight.

"No it's a- It's a law school interview. My whole future depends on it." Dean raises his eyebrow.

"Law school? Huh." He never pictured Sammy going into law with him as a brother.

[mackenzie-lukasiaks]

abby’s studio rescue (1x3)

episode: delusions of dance grandeur

thoughts:

(this man is never named, nor does he speak, yet he provides the best scene of the entire episode just by making that face as debbie backsasses abby)

she only has like........five little five year olds and then two ten year olds, so how exactly is she still running a business? how do you lose all of your age groups except for your minis?

“stop hitting your head with the pizza box” no thanks

“debbie’s studio is built on lies” fjakdlsfj;dsa what kind of elf plagarism

well at least this lady didn’t cry at the sight of abby. instead she called her a big, black, furry thing wearing blinged-out necklaces.

these poor kids are so goddamn bad, it’s a sin and I feel bad

the irony of abby lecturing these studio owners on the cleanliness of their offices and their studios really intensifies when you think about how abby ended up basically moving in and keeping all her shit in the aldcla office

“debbie, do you pay your rent?” idk abby, do you pay your customs duties when you smuggle money in from australia?

“how dare she try to embarrass me and make fun of me and point out my flaws” AGAIN, have you people NEVER watched ‘dance moms’

“I know what she does with the money!” “oh, what does she do with it?” “that’s what I’d like to know”.....so you Don’t know what she does with the money lmao, so thank you for that useless information

oh but she doesn’t use the money for certain things, though who the hell knows what that means either lol

again, the irony of abby chastising this woman for being rude to abby as a guest teacher, when abby would later pretend she’d never met the guest teacher kira and jessalyn brought in

idk why you would continue to spend your money at this place when you know it’s bad and you’re not even tied it to by a reality show contract lol

abby knows she won’t be able to actually rescue this studio, so instead she’ll just make it an aldc showcase by bringing the zieglers, kendall, and nia in

“it’s all the girls from dance moms!!” not to be pedantic to a literal child, but you’re wrong, kid. lukasiaks/hylands or bust

and like seriously, she’s shaming these kids for not picking up choreo as quickly as her girls, even though the aldc girls have pretty much been learning dances in a few days for nearly four seasons at this point

“you probably sat on a damn dance floor reading books. it sure looks like you did.” no, she doesn’t sit on the floor and read, she sits on the mats and looks at her phone and occasionally barks commands

“there’s no concept of reality here” the aldc’s new new slogan

no, she’s not gonna get them to dance just like mackenzie, she’s gonna make them kenzie’s back-up dancers/props

does this landlord work at a hot dog stand, like what am I watching?

oh no, it’s an ice cream ~shoppe~, excuse me

“it helps me to shop around and look at pretty things and then buy them” ah, so that’s where the money is going to

the sign in the background of abby and debbie’s heartfelt conversation that says THAT’S SHOWBIZ except it says THAT’S PUSSY BABE

well abby, I don’t think I can trust your judgment of liars and manipulators considering you trusted melissa of all people

“sometimes I get so damn mad, I don’t wanna pay the rent” adulting 101

she didn’t even open the show with debbie’s dancers, she opened with the aldc trio jfc

“this is the biggest show you will ever do in your entire lives” yes children, a dinky little ‘showcase’ more focused on the aldc dancers than you will be the only thing you ever achieve in your pathetic little lives. reach for the stars and then choke on them.

I’m going to hell for laughing at these poor kids and their dancing when they’re just trying their hardest

“abby’s star student: mackenzie” que?????

“mackenzie, one of my strongest dancers” even abby is pretending she gives a shit about kenzie lmao

THIS BITCH IS FUCKING ROASTING ABBY AT THE END OF THE SHOWCASE

so apparently this lady did get evicted from her studio space, but moved to a different location and insists that the show lied about how bad she and her studio were. now maybe they made her look bad as a person, but no offense, there was no editing where the dancing was concerned, and I’m still going to hell lol

“I can’t say that this was worth it at the end” my liveblogging slogan

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

[casimania]

ALL otp questions for Cas Fin Toni ot3, if you wouldn't mind :3

I don’t mind AT ALL :D

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other? Casimiro, but mostly because he’s like “If I run out of money I can always steal/extort more/win more at poker”. Toni has to save money like a normal person and Finas actually knows the meaning of the word moderation and doesn’t just knock people out at random to steal their money.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? Werewolf Toni is perfectly big, warm and fluffy. Her lap is an A+ sleeping place. When there is no full moon Finas is a less big, warm and fluffy (but still decent) substitute.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes? Casimiro has no shame. Toni tries throwing clothes at him while Finas gave up long ago and only tells her she’ll get used to it too sooner or later.

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway? Finas is always fretting over Toni’s sleeping schedule because she’s not dead and actually needs to rest!! He also scolds Casimiro for keeping her up late sometimes.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies? Casimiro and Finas actually tried cooking for Toni once and made a fucking mess. Let’s say she appreciated the effort but wouldn’t have touched any of that with a ten foot pole.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”? Casimiro and Toni bicker which is which. Finas would really like to know what’s going on.

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? Toni can actually wear both of their clothes so Casimiro suddenly knows what it feels like when he’s looking for his favourite shirt but Toni is wearing it and he can’t even be angry at her because she looks cute in it. This also means Finas is missing twice as much clothes.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” Casimiro has so many request and still takes issue when ONE of them hasn’t been fulfilled. “But it was the MOST urgent!!” “You should have said so then”

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? Toni knows exactly where she’s going but Finas HAS to give her directions. Casimiro is slumped in the back sleeping.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? Finas and Toni are lying somewhere together when suddenly Casimiro walks into the room, gasps, tells them not to move, walks away and then comes back with his sketchbook. Finas groans and tells Toni he hopes she doesn’t have to pee anytime soon.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? Casimiro insists on doing backflips and shit because he likes to look cool. Finas in the meantime pinches the bridge of his nose and walks right behind him with a sigh, Toni is walking right beside him and laughing under her breath.

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking? Toni tries asking Finas to help her stop Casimiro from taking any more sips from drunk people because he’s getting a lil bit too drunk. Except Finas is also smashed and currently sleeping with his head on the counter.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts? Finas and Casimiro keeps leaving small gifts in Toni’s bag or pockets and she’s kinda a lot weak for it.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own? Casimiro and Finas have adopted Toni’s last name (since they stopped using theirs looong ago) she’s So Ok with it you can’t even imagine.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside? Collective screaming because it got accidentally flung again somewhere in the room on its way outside

16: Which one gives the other their jacket? Casimiro gives Toni his jacket but then he’s cold so Finas gives him his jacket, bu then Finas shivers so he get squished between Toni and Casimiro who want to keep him warm.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? No older sibling but Hanna ominously drawing runes on his arms or on some of Toni’s things while Finas and Casimiro look. And when Casimiro glares at him Zombie glares back from behind Hanna, with Conrad kinda hiding behind them both and laughing nervously. Veser just loudly cracks his knuckles at them. Toni’s like “… I appreciate the effort guys”

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other? Casimiro keeps poking fun at Finas because he looooves Toni until he accidentally shouts “I DO OK nowshutup” RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER. There’s a moment of awkward silence where Finas tries to will the ground to open up and swallow him, but then Casimiro goes “Well… I do too tbh” and Toni’s like “Same”.

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting? Toni would be the best parent. Finas would be a bit too strict and gruff at times and Casimiro would probably teach his kid how to bully other kids.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters? Finas types with perfect grammar, Toni doesn’t give it much though and uses some abbreviations, Casimiro’s texts are …. hard to decipher (Finas keeps showing Toni his texts because he doesn’t know wtf any of that means).

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them? They’ve all  saved each others’ asses from hunters and other vampires.

22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun? Finas kinda misses the days when he only had to listen to Casimiro’s bad puns, now Toni has joined him too.Except he straight up groans and sighs instead of making a pained smile.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy? More like Finas coming home with an armful of kittens. They all hiss at Toni when they first see her and she playfully growls back at them.

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired? Casimiro keeps kicking things and people and then his foot hurt and Finas HAS to carry him. Toni ends up jumping in his arms too and he’s like “jfc I’m not a pack mule” but doesn’t shrug off either of them.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering? Well Toni acts in theatres. Casimiro cheers for her LOUDLY. Finas is like “shut up you fiend you’ll distract her!!” while Cas is howling and clapping and half standing up from his seat.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? If vampires appeared on camera there would be hundreds of photos of Finas sleeping because he’s uncharacteristically Cute, especially when he falls asleep on someone else. But instead they keep taking photos of Toni, all the freaking time (“here you’re eating!” “And here you’ve sneezed for the fifth time in a row!”).

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked? They all have their specific Styles™ and no one can touch them.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? I don’t think any of them would own a pet the others would be particularly terrified of…

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains? Casimiro because he’s freaking TALL

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? Idk it’s probably during summer tho so Casimiro and Finas can stay outside more. Maybe near the sea too so they go at the beach at night? Or maybe where there’s a fuckton of big woods woods and is rather secluded so Toni can run around as a werewolf with Cas and Finas. And again, as Toni is the only one who shows up on photo, she gets all the photos with the silly hats and shirts from souvenir shops.