nympharmacy

[nympharmacy]

missing hbo spn and thinking about how midwest emo the vibes and soundtrack would have been...

[nympharmacy]

woke up at 5:42 this morning to write down the dream i had about watching the trailer for the community movie so if anything from my dream happens im claiming psychic powers

[nympharmacy]

Does anyone else think this Wilbur thing has been blown way out of proportion? First of all, I am in FULL support of Shelby and am not defending Wilbur. As a victim myself, I sympathize with her story, and I will never discredit her experiences. But this community is going to extremes that make me so fucking uncomfortable.

What people forget is that Wilbur has a record label. He CAN'T say whatever he wants. There’s a reason he made a statement not an apology, why Lovejoy hasn’t said anything, why he never mentioned Shelby by name, why he didn’t apologize- because making promises can get you in legal trouble. One of the first things you learn about car accidents is to not apologize, even if it's your fault, because that will be used against you in court. Admissions can even get you in trouble for things you didn’t do, if the other party decides to push for that. He’s almost certainly not allowed to apologize because his record label can't risk the legal trouble. We can excuse Quackity for making poor statements for the same reason, so why can't we keep that energy here?

Wilbur has always been an unstable man. As a long time fan and someone who heavily relates to YCGMA’s themes of being awful and feeling like you’ll never get better, he struggles with a lot of mental problems. His persona has been built around manic, destructive tendencies and that’s something that’s been a part of his brand for YEARS. He's brought up drugs and alcohol use in the past, and one of his closest friends recently passed away, which certainly only added to things. Mental health isn't an excuse, but it is a REASON. (Listen to Mammalian Sighing Reflex and tell me it doesn’t resemble compilations of artists deteriorating as they lose their sanity)

I don’t understand how anyone can actively want him to kill himself. Or wish that he gets worse. You can’t claim to be an advocate for mental health and helping victims if you don’t want EVERYONE involved getting serious help. Wilbur needs therapy, he needs to atone if either of them want to heal. Nobody has to forgive him, or welcome him back into their life, but he absolutely deserves the chance to fix himself to ensure this doesn’t happen AGAIN. 

If you can seriously say that you want him to get worse, and you don’t care about his mental health, then you DON'T care about victims. Leaving a destructive man to rot alone WILL lead to repeat events in the future. As someone with multiple diagnoses for debilitating mental illnesses, when I was at my lowest, I hurt myself. I hurt other people. Mental illness isn’t cute shit you put in your bio. It's terrifying, isolating, exhausting. And if I wasn’t given a chance at therapy and healing, I could have continued hurting people for the rest of my life.

These tweets just confirm none of you actually care about mentally ill people, it's all situational and performative. This is the most clear cry for help I've seen and you're feeding into it. Most of you will never understand what debilitating mental illness is like, how easy it is to hurt people you care about. You can hate him, be pissed, wish he never did it, deplatform him, I AM TOO! But nobody involved would be happy if he killed himself. These are real people, not characters in a soap drama. Actively wishing for him to kill himself is disgusting. If you care at all about Shelby getting closure, Wilbur needs to understand what he did wrong and fix it, so she can move on.

Also the lying I’ve seen is so stupid. The spotify stuff is fake. Anyone who’s a casual fan of Wilbur has known for a long time that’s not his spotify account. It’s a fan account that posts unofficial versions of his songs. So easily debunked and yet people still hold it against him??

Again, I'm in FULL support of Shelby. I fully condemn his actions, and as a victim I'm so proud of her for speaking up. But at the end of the day, we’re people. I'm glad many of you have never had the kind of debilitating downward spiral that leads to you hurting yourself and others, but if you think that makes it okay to wish an unstable man takes his life, then you can’t say you’re a mental health advocate. Take care of yourselves, please think twice about your own morals if you're sitting around hoping fans and creators commit suicide.

If you are one of the people actively waiting for him to kill himself, I pray that you never find yourself hurting others at your lowest, and I pray that people show you the kindness you didn't give to him.

[nympharmacy]

i want to preface my post with the fact that i am not criticizing anyone involved in the mcyt community or in lovejoy. i am simply using critical thinking skills, and while i understand that many people are emotionally impacted by this situation, including myself, i want to say that you have to consider every angle of a situation before passing accurate judgement. i do support shelby 100%, and just want to give my opinion on lovejoy's response, specifically, because honestly, i think lovejoy gave a fair response here.

we, both as viewers and fans of the band, know that wilbur is mentally ill. he's said it before, admitted to his issues with depression and anxiety (specifically, hypochondria) and while NONE of that excuses his behavior toward shelby and alice, it's not so outside of the realm of possibility that he has narcissistic personality disorder, too. there are multiple instances of him coming onto phil's streams through vc to ask for attention, and if what shelby has said is true, then he wants fame/recognition over everything else. wilbur is mentally ill, and that's why it is absolutely fair for lovejoy to say that they're concerned about his mental health because 1) as of now, there still isn't any concrete evidence from either side of the issue, meaning that wilbur cannot legally be proven guilty and/or it's likely that lovejoy has not been given any further information than what the rest of us know, and 2) it's only been about a month and a half since everything came out. the rest of lovejoy's members obviously worked very closely with wilbur to write and produce their music, and while we have seen people around wilbur turn against him, tommy and phil have yet to say whether or not they are cutting ties with him. lovejoy does not have to issue an official statement yet, and (i hope this is obvious) this is not an official statement. this is merely a mailing list sendout. ash has said that none of them knew that wilbur was a streamer when they formed the band, and that they just thought he was handsome. you don't walk around assuming that everyone you could possibly meet is an abuser. lovejoy's members had no reason to assume that wilbur committed domestic abuse (allegedly).

this response likely came from their public relations team anyway, who still represent and are getting paid to represent the band lovejoy. they might not have new jobs or sources of income yet, and it's unfair to blame them for a lackluster response. the fact that their shows are being canceled and refunds are being issued is already a step in the right direction for them, and we simply need to wait to see how things will pan out.

just. please use your braincells to consider how the band is being affected by this situation, not just wilbur himself or his friends.

I FORGOT TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THE LOVEJOY MAILING LIST BUT WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “WILBURS MENTAL HEALTH”??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT LIKE HE WASNT REVEALED TO BE A FUCKING ABUSER

[nympharmacy]

why does msr reference figures of eight so much? i find that very interesting

[nympharmacy]

chewing on mammalian sighing reflex as if i am violet beauregarde from charlie and the chocolate factory: ceaselessly and without any semblance of shame (dear god take it away from me)

[nympharmacy]

im sorry i dont think u get it. i dont think any of u get it and i just want to explain my thoughts because goddamn it 10 week rule is so genuinely just my favorite song off of mammalian sighing reflex and no one else seems to like it. i think its bc of the abortion line and i just

its not literal to me. its not an actual being-pregnant type of abortion. its the kind of abortion where u want to rip something out of ur body that is also so inherently entwined w ur sense of being like. it is you. you are killing yourself by purging yourself of yourself. you become this hollow shell just so you can fill yourself up again tomorrow with everything you love and everything you have loved and everything you want to love. you hack every strand of pain out your body and replace the need with love

its the perfect ending to the album and i love it

[nympharmacy]

you do not understand i am so deeply abnormal over mammalian sighing reflex… like i cannot stop thinking about it MSR has been vibrating in my brain like an overheated blender 24/7 ever since it came out

[nympharmacy]

NEW LOVEJOY EP FUCKING SLAPS

[nympharmacy]

forgot to post this last night. whoops

Cicada-winged hymns drone one and on throughout the night, beaten out violently against the trees. His father carries him into the abandoned cathedral underneath the full moon, waiting for a transformation, glinting silver key pressed tightly into Leo’s caving palm. The Devil wants you, boy, he says, teeth grit, voice rougher than sandpaper. Prove him wrong.

[nympharmacy]

anyway writing is hard but holy fuck

should be publishing on new year's. enjoy this snippet :D

[nympharmacy]

WAIT WAIT WAIT COMMUNITY MOVIE????

[nympharmacy]

my favorite type of writing is like. character study as exposition disguised as poetry disguised as prose and wrapped in an overuse of metaphors and commas. that's my shit

[nympharmacy]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[nympharmacy]

DID THE WRIMO

(currently only the first fic is fully drafted... oh god this is going to be a Process indeed)

[nympharmacy]

saw chloe on the suckerpunch tour a few days ago. holy fuck

[nympharmacy]

hollywolf shippers i have an offering

Maverick assesses the situation for about half a second before tactlessly asking, "Wait, did you lose him?" His eyebrows arch high on his forehead, expression a strange mix between impressed and concerned, and he very helpfully reminds, "Wood, he's an entire person."

The look Hollywood gives him could rival a glare from Iceman. "No, I did not lose him," he snaps, tensing defensively. 

"But you can't find him, either," Goose points out, a careful attempt at neutrality, and Hollywood's shoulders slump. He looks exhausted, to be honest, and Maverick shoots an uneasy glance towards Goose as he sees Hollywood deflate in front of them, turning to lean against the wall. The crown of his head hits it with a soft thunk, and Goose winces on his behalf. 

"He's sleepwalking again," the pilot sighs, voice shaky as he continues. "Wolf does this all the fucking time; it's worse when he's stressed, but usually, I know where he might've gone. Here, though?" He raises his hands helplessly, letting them fall back to his sides a moment later. "I've got no clue where to even start looking."