#this is embarrassing to post but fuck it
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Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.
Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).
Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.
Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.
Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).
AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.
But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s
At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.
#mlp#yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show#but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse#in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character#personal#delete later#unless you like this analysis stuff#i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did#cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her#mother and father as a teenager#i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased#but i'll put some in the tags#involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity#anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention#(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff#long post#regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at#a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up
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#im almost embarrassed that im embarrassed to post this. embarrased squared#frenrey#gordon freeman#benrey#benry#hlvrai#my art#doodles#runs and hides#thank u for indulging my little freak out. fuck it we ball wins again#gordon#gordon feetman
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mom said it's my turn on the spiderman pose
#they're soooo cringe together <3#ladynoir#chat noir#ml ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#miraculous ladybug#mlb#technically this drawing is from a month ago but I've been too embarrassed to post it djdjsjjssk#both because it's incredibly low effort and I've never posted abt this fandom before#but like!! fuck it this is my house!! my rules babey!!!#froggy doodles
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I already promised some more MSA sketches in the future for my watchers, but I figured ya'll deserved at least one cleaned up sketch right now since I haven't posted any art of the gang in awhile. Purely for fun as I've always wanted to draw the gang in more alternate outfits. :D
#mystery skulls#mystery skulls animated#msa#msa lewis#msa alive lewis#flowers#dahlia#my art#i love reds and pinks#a very happy and very alive Lewis for you guys :)#Edit: call out post to myself I fucked up something on the skin tone layer in my file and didn't notice until a day later I am so dumb#it's now fixed x_x extremely embarrassing on my part I knew something looked wrong ugh he now has his melanin back sorry Lew boy
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asexual ford comic 👍🖤🩶🤍💜
#i started this over a month ago and then got too embarrassed to finish and post it#then i remembered i can do whatever i want#so fuck it we ball#i may be cringe but i am free👍#gravity falls#fiddauthor#fiddleauthor#ford pines#young ford pines#young stanford pines#stanford pines#stanford filbrick pines#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#fiddleford mcgucket#young fiddleford#asexual#asexual ford
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i already posted abt this somewhere else but i was infodumping abt voltron to my best friend last night and went to rewatch the "i cradled you in my arms" scene so i could remember it properly and i paused right after lance said he didnt remember anything and im fucking pissing myself this is a man that is truly defeated like he wanted lance coming out of the healing pod to be like every fanfic where they have a crazy romantic reconciliation post healing pod and it simply did not happen. if i were keith here id flee the country. the look of simultaneous pain and confusion and emptiness is impossible to articulate. going thru every stage of grief at once. how they managed to fit this much anguish in so few lines is beyond me. and all over a man who listens to weezer and uses axe
#Keith get up ur embarrassing me#soad.txt#not art#voltron#klance#when i watched voltron for realsies for the first time in 2022 i remember being like damn klance aint shit i dont get the big deal#now rewatching it 2 years later im like FUCK KLANCE GOT HANDS#i dont remember if ive posted this before but we as a society dont acknowlege how insane it is that keith#well known for now showing a lot of emotion/having a hard time connecting with people#was practically on his hands and knees going I CRADLED YOUUUUUU#keith GET UP#anyways
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theyre always standing so fucking close together
#nics art#ethoslab#ethoslab fanart#bdoubleo100#bdoubleo100 fanart#hermitcraft#hermitcraft fanart#hermitcraft season 10#art#ethubs#im never posting ethubs kissing#but will post this.#not because i dont draw it but because. god thatd be embarrassing what if someone saw it <- normal#anywayyy theyre takin a stroll through bdubs forest!!!!!!!!!! and bdubs is rambling about anything and everything!!!!!!! and etho is patie#tly listening and asking questions because he cares about bdubs a lot!!!!!!1 and likes listening to his voice!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!#nics ethodaily#ethodaily25#nics gallery
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Ok so imma slap tw/cw on this cause I’m JUST NOW REMEMBERING death is an issue for ppl. Lemme know if I missed a tag
Also the update is mad messy. Well, it’s a messy situation. At some point I forgot.what was staying what was going
<===—===>
#cw death#cw mentions of death#tw death#cw sibling death#is that fine?#a lil tough cause I’m giving myself embarrassment rn#this update feels embarrassing#mmmmmm posting as fast as I can#Donnie#Draxum#Cassandra#Kendra#Leo#April#Mikey#ANYONE ELSE????#FUCK#coko doodles#rottmnt#tmnt#tmnt iteration#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#drawing#doodle#sketch#teenage mutant ninja turtles#COMIC
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and angel was so proud of himself for being able to carry mr-hollow-bones husk over here
based on the hc where husk died from falling, and that's why his demon form is an ironic mix between two animals that should not be taking fall damage
so yeah he's afraid of heights and that's why he doesn't fly
aftermath:
they'll be okay
#hazbin hotel#angel dust#husk#angelhusk#huskerdust#angel dusk you're too tall look at that you scared the kitty#i posted this to my new twitter account since when i checked this morning i was finally unshadowbanned#BUT THEN WHEN I CHECKED AGAIN AFTER I POSTED I WAS REBANNED??#i'm gonna punch muskrat in the face#i was kinda embarrassed to post this with how heavily headcanon this is but uh..#fuck cringe#i'm proud of this#also you know in episode 3 where vaggie is throwing the gang into the trenches and husk runs away?#i don't think that was just bc vaggie scared him#i think he was genuinely terrified of being thrown off a high place again#sun art
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he got sooo dramatic after getting to date mo smh
#19 days#tianshan#he tian#like alright we get IT youre head over heels get over itt no need to show it to the WORLD..#really if mo still hasnt got tired of his drama queen ass then you know its for life LMAOO#also fuck.. im ashamed to admit it but as i was rereading the last few chapters to compile this post-#i was giggling soo much it was embarrassing.. 19 days really got me on a chokehold.. shits HILARIOUS#i KNOW most people are mad bc the pacing is not all that great but im DYING of laughter likee QIU WAS FUCKING MISERABLE LMFAOO
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#no fan service my ass#i need him carnally#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuck dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#long post#fuck it main tags can have this too#to all my fellow chil simps#i have more of these i think#my collection is embarrassing#i am cringe but i am free#anime caps#manga caps
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Kabumisu is soooo something to me. Kabru literally did not have to do All of That. Keep him alive for a week, sure. But. Gestures. Tailing after him, even. Knocking him out for his own good, which is kinda mirrored by Mithrun slapping him out of a panic attack. There's a weird sort of mutual footing to be had there. Kabru even somewhat drops his excessive use of charm around Mithrun on account of the guy not giving a fuck. They're both sole survivors of nightmarish shit. Crushing sense of responsibility. There's weird mutual attachment. Kabru was so deadset on not letting the guy give the fuck up on everything after expiring his purpose he managed to help give him a will to Keep Going with the help of the Canaries. They're like if the base definition of "partners" was gay was a qpr was some secret third thing. Understand me.
#cath.txt#head in my hands. I'm going stupid fucking faggot mode. whagever.#blood everywhere I'm Normal.#kabumisu#mithrun#kabru#dunmeshi#well. this is embarrassing. andddddd post.
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sketchy sappy spirk thing. for you. sometimes it’s okay to ignore your duties to lay in bed
#scrap. truly#only not embarrassed to post this because it’s 2am#you can have them#my art#spirk#i feel like i need to say they’re not fucking in this so this doesn’t get flagged. they’re just hanging out
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Everything that promotes LGBT will now be banned: a rainbow without a light blue stripe, all kinds of themed patches, badges on clothes, as well as parades, processions, rallies and themed parties.
For that - up to 12 years in prison.
Hi! What! Literal murder can get you 2 to 8 years in prison. Killing a man gives you less years! Hello! Can anybody fucking hear me!
Updating this post because. WELL. If anyone, ANYONE supports LGBTQIA in here. Even if they're the straightest people ever. THEY FALL UNDER THE SAME CATEGORY. LGBTQIA ALLIES ARE CONSIDERED EXTREMISTS TOO.
Moreover, everyone could get in trouble - even if the person isn't an activist or part of LGBTQ, but speaks out that LGBTQ people must have equal rights with everyone else.
You can get in trouble for a LGBTQ-symbolic repost from 10 years ago - if the policemen can capture it after Supreme Court's decision will take effect.
And another update: this "law" will only be valid after January 10, 2024
The court decision will come into force on January 10 of the following year - unless an appeal is filed.
#lgbtq#lgbtqia#russia#bloblopost#HELLO?????#I'll delete this later because it's not that. fucked up. if you consider that these very people decided that they needed#to wreak havoc on Ukraine#but rn the feelings of anxiety are almost on the same level as they were in the beginning of the war#upd. I'm not deleting the post but I made so many translating mistakes that it's embarrassing#Anyway. thank you to fellas who corrected me.
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a friend went above and beyond to indulge me and commissioned me to draw these 3..i won so hard
#its a whole page but im too embarrassed to post the whole thing. but there is no sex fucking in it#i just dont want you to see the depths of my twisted mind when its fluff either#also sorry i keep posting erratically i just draw so much i dont remember what i havent posted here yet lol
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Have you ever drawn gyutaro or daki? 🤔
m. maybe..
[PROBABLY OLD (SORT OF BAD AND SKETCHY) ART UNDER CUT]
they deserve to be happy. I wish we could've seen how they are outside of battle and somewhere like an upper moon meeting.
i really liked how they were to each other. i cried like a baby during their episode. i love that daki has full confidence that her brother will always protect her no matter what and that gyutaro knows daki will always try to do the same for him even if she'll most likely end up losing or get in more trouble because of it and loves her anyway.
It's a double-edged sword.. shE WENT TO HELL FOR HIM. DJKSAFEKJ REJECTING SALVATION??? CAUSE YOU MADE A PROMISE WITH YOUR BIG BROTHER??? BC TOGETHER YOURE THE STRONGEST????? OH FUCK IM GONNA cRYRFHE
dawg, im actually going to cry. shut the fuck up. SIBLINGS. SIBLINGS!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO MUCH, DAWG..........
and ofc, gyutaro head locked my heart
ofc i drew gyuatro, my cult member, HE WAS ONE OF MY BRAIN ROTS
I DREW THIS MAN LIKE MY LIFE WAS ON THE LINE. SKETCH BOOK, TABLET, PHONE, THE CORNERS OF MY NOTEBOOKS, NAPKINS, YOU FUCKING NAME IT. i just wish i could finish drawings......... sobs..........
I WAS YOUNGER AND IN SCHOOLING SO I THOUGHT ITD BE COOL TO HAVE A TUTOR AU WITH GYUTARO SET IN KIMETSU NO GAKUEN WHERE HE TUTORS FOR MONEY...... CAUSE I HEADCANON HIM TO BE A FAST LEARNER?? HE JUST DOESNT GIVE HIMSELF ENOUGH CREDIT CAUSE HES INSECURE AND SOBS.... HE ONLY THINKS HES GOOD FOR BEING UGLY AND SCARING PPL AWAY AND FIGHTING. AGHGHGHHH
THIS FEELS LIKE IM LOOKING BACK ON PHOTOS OF MY PAST LOVER...... GYUTARO..... MY BELOVED... I JUST WANTED HIM PAMPERED...............
SHUT THE FUCK UP //CRIES INTO MY HANDS
HOW DID YOU CLOCK ME SO FUCKING FAST???? DOES IT SHOW ON MY FACE???? IS IT A TELL IM NOT AWARE OF????????
#null rot#null brainwash#kimetsu no yaiba#kny#demon slayer#gyutaro#gyutaro shabana#shabana gyutaro#daki#daki shabana#shabana daki#DAWG HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS MY PREVIOUS OBSESSION IM SCREAMING INTO MY HANDS#THIS STAYS BETWEEN US. ONLY ON FUCKING TUMBLR.. I CANT LET BITCHES KNOW I RELAPSE TO DEMON SLAYER WITH DIFFERENT GUYS..#HES SO PERFECT TOO DAWG I CANT#MY FIRST.......#SOBS HARDER#AND DAKI TOO SHE WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY AND ANNOYIGN DUDE#SHES SO STUPID AND MEAN BUT SO FUCKING CARING FOR GYU SHUT UP#SHUT THE FUCK UP#MY TASTE IN MEN JUST GOT WORSE. GODDD GODDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#iM SO EMBARRASSED CAUSE BEFORE NORITOSHI IT WAS HIM.. IM SCREAMING#i also really dislike showing unfinished work but hey. momma didnt raise a bitch#ALSO I AM ALIVE. MY PC HAS JUST BEEN RUNNING INTO ISSUES AND IM TRYING SO HARD TO PUMP OUT THIS NEXT POST#IM PROMISING MYSLEF TO NOT POST ANYTHING ELSE UNTIL THEN
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