#I feel bad and also embarrassed that I did the same fucking thing again

[allpiesforourown]

Hey, so sorry to be using your inbox like a fuckin confessional, but getting that dream thing off my chest literally cleared my skin and I've just got this itch that needs to be addressed so I'm taking it out on you again. Reflecting on this thought the second after I had it made me think, "Oh, I get what Shen Yuan was on about now," and so here I am, typing this shit out ig. fucking embarrassing, anyway.

So, like. I watch those gacha react videos on youtube. Like a concerning amount of those gacha react videos, man. I fuckin love them so much, even if I wouldn't admit to it under pain of death to anyone I know or love. I have a seperate youtube channel I made under a fake email that I made specifically to watch them. It's bad. I remember back when it was just me and the FF.net filter system before they added the 'Without' section at the bottom and trying to find crossover content in the LoZ tag between games. 10th circle of hell; my 13th reason. Gacha react videos in concept are heavensent for my inner child, and on the rare occasion I find one of those 'fandom react' series that are active or complete and well done, it grants me joy on par with nigh nothing else.

This being said, I understand that the main demographic for this content tends to be a handful of years younger than me. I've seen community posts on some channels mentioning their time in college, but these are few and far between in my experience. I appreciate these teen's artistry in putting these all together, because god knows I'm not, but like,,, --and I know I sound like an ass right now but bare with me-- it feels like with the conclusion of Arcane came a flood of reaction videos with no real substance. I've watched upward of what feels like thirty seperate videos --at least,-- on the show and its the same ten to twenty edits I've seen on repeat and I'm watching them by pressing the skip key and catching half the dialouge only to come out the other side tired and a little miffed. Then I feel bad, because they created something and all I did was mindlessly consume and feel entitled to complain. Ugh.

Now, Because I've been cycling through these almost cookie cutter videos for ages --I used Arcane vids as an example before because its recent and relevant, but I do have this take for a whole slew of the fandoms I watch react videos on, and I picked this addiction up in 2021 so it's been a minute-- I've begun predicting the dialouge before it's come up and projecting what I hope the author will say. If I see a video with, for example, Giyuu from kny seeing Sabito in a video, I hope to see shock, yes, but also to see him comment or think about how he hasn't seen his face in so long, you know? Just... things that aren't just "OMG!!" or making the characters eyes widen. I've found now that I seek out these videos for the slim chance that they'll provide me with the satisfaction I get from these moments of true understanding with the presented characters.

Yes, I know that there really isn't any "true" way to understand a character, and that while we are all entitled to our own interpretations of media, the insistence that mine alone is more "right" or "correct" is bullshit, but I'm not saying that my preference has to be law, only that I get a rush of happiness whenever something I like happens to pop up in a video that I was already checking out of because it failed to really,,,,wow me. This is my bias speaking, of course, but its also the reality of my situation borne from overconsumption of this genre.

But anyway, onto the main point of how this relates to svsss. I was watching a video just a minute ago --an Arcane video, big shocker I know-- where there was a line from the creator's Vander character about how he wasn't ready to see Vi so grown up, because to him she's still his little girl. I thought, "Yes!!! This!! He's a father! He's showing realistic reactions to seeing your child suddenly grown up, and while he's proud of the woman she became, he still loves her as she is in the moment!!" ....I then watched the rest of the reaction, and was left cold and disappointed in the end. I'd clicked for Viktor, got three videos of him in a twenty minute reaction when the rest was the same four edits of jinx on repeat. Love you Jinx, but holy fuck. I thought then, "God, what a waste of potential." The creator of the video had insightful dialouge, clearly a decent grasp on character interaction, and the drive to create the video in the first place, but settled for pumping out another copy of the same video they've released three times previous on the same channel.

Then I thought, "Oh, like PIDW."

I need to get a life, Tumblr user allpiesforourown. If your blog wasn't so damn entertaining, I might even go out and touch grass one day. Take responsibility, damn.

(ty for reading my rant, if you did. have a good day regardless.)

I think you watching gacha react videos for characterization might be the one and only thing more baffling than Shen Yuan reading porn for plot. Hope you find gacha videos of Vander teaching his daughter how to ride a bike

[l3irdl3rain]

Good News: Barfur’s soft palate is normal.

Bad News: Not sure why he started salivating and foaming when eating dinner a couple weeks ago. At their best guess he ate something that wasn’t actually food. Or a bad piece of kibble?

Good News: no need for surgery!!!

Bad News: I already raised the money. Because at the end of the day I do not learn from my mistakes.

Good News: I won’t have to come on here begging for money next time one of my pets needs a pricey medical treatment bc now I have an extra $3,500 in my pet fund

Bad News: please don’t be mad at me

[realcowboysdrinkjuice]

i’m so excited to see troy’s dad i listened to the rolled today and apparently it’s not what we expect so like is he gonna be like amazing or is he going to somehow be worse then troy like what happened im so excited

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Sunday, Welt, Gallagher, Blade, and Dan Heng react to his shy gn s/o asking to kiss him on the lips?

Blade: finds it adorable. Absolutely adorable when you finally mustered up the courage to ask for what you want.

‘So you do have a voice?’ And or ‘the mouse has finally squeaked.’ Is what he would say with a smirk as he’d watch you get flustered and embarrassed under his gaze.

As much as he teases you for your shyness, he can’t help but feel a sense of pride for you when you took the first step in speaking your mind.

It was nice to know his lessons weren’t going to waste but then again Blade wasn’t one to hold your innate shyness against you, he just wants you to feel as though you could ask him anything without feeling bad about it.

He’s a dick but he’s instantly melting upon feeling your hands cup his face and is in utter bliss when you finally draw him in for a tender, warm kiss. It’s his one slice of heavenly reprieve that he never, ever wants to be deprived of, ever.

God forbid you stop after one kiss, this man will grow lowly and drag you back himself for more because how dare you tempt him with a mere peck, give him at least a hundred more for fuck sake.

Welt: praises you for your bravery in asking as he knows that it’s not exactly an easy thing to do when you’re naturally shy and prone to giving up before you even try.

‘I’d be more than willing to fulfil your wish to the best of my abilities.’

He’s such a gentleman who’s not afraid of going slow just for your comfort if he see you getting overwhelmed by the mere thought of having to take charge when kissing.

You did ask but Welt was more than ready to step in when it was all becoming too much and guides you through it with a soft, low voice and gentle reminders of hand placement and breathing.

He doesn’t want you passing out on him now.

And besides he’s not the type to do anything to you without your permission.

Sunday: raises his brows in amusement.

‘Oh? How bold of you to ask such a thing my dearest.’ Is his response.

It’s like a predatory watching his prey when it comes to Sunday that you were prone to reframe from speaking upon your desires because it always felt as though the Halovian could see through you. Literally.

It triggers your fight of flight response real quick but you have to remind yourself that you were safe with Sunday. (Or are you?)

He’s got that face that told you that he knew what you were going to ask him before you say anything. Whether or not it’s under unsettling is up to you.

He can obviously see that your nervous and stressed about the whole thing and will try to reassure you that neither of you were going anywhere and that you could take your time, he’ll be there whenever you felt comfortable.

He’s in no rush to be anywhere, not when you’re concerned.

Gallagher: originally thinks something is wrong when he saw you stood there unresponsive for a good few minutes, only to blurt out not even a second later, ‘can I kiss you on the lips?’

His worries fade and a smile graced his lips as he chuckled.

‘You almost had me worried there sweetheart but are you sure you want me to kiss you? What if I decide to bite?’ He’d say cheekily and never had he seen you look more flustered than anything. It’s too cute!

You’re giving this man too much power but also making him weak in the knees and want to kneel at your feet and pledge eternal loyalty to you at the same time.

However whatever you want, Gallagher will provide and if you wanted to give him a kiss, then who was he to say no to such a sweet ask?

‘Please.’ You’d add on and Gallagher could swear he melted right then and there. The magic word worked wonders in your favour as he has you sat on his lap, his big hands holding your waist steady as he waits patiently for his kiss, whsilt you felt your face burn all the way up to your ears.

However beware that one kiss becomes a million kisses with this guy as he loves the feel of your lips against his that sometimes he forgets that you both need oxygen to breathe.

Dan Heng: is equally as flustered and embarrassed as you when you asked.

His face is beat red and his eyes were practically bulging out of his head as he then looks away elsewhere and covers the lower half of his face with a hand. Curse you for being so fucking cute and polite!

He’s swears you’ll be the death of him but then again he’s not complaining.

‘Make it quick.’ He’d say but never in a mean way, he’s just genuinely about to combust if you don’t kiss him now and when you do give him a kiss so soft against his lips, you’ll have to shove his face into an ice bath or something with how unnaturally red it is.

You’re both awkward and new at this but that’s what makes every kiss you share afterwards so special and unique.

I wouldn’t put it past Dan Heng is he goes in for another kiss, he’s unabashedly become addicted to the taste of your lips.

[triptuckers]

feelings that flicker - remy lebeau

Request: nope Pairing:  remy lebeau x mutant!reader (reader has the ability to manipulate and control electricity) Summary:  remy thinks you have trouble controling your powers, but there’s something else going on Warnings:  none! Word count:  1.6K A/N: to think this is the third fic I’m writing today and I also finished reading the darkness within us and read and finished what moves the dead… no wifi making me do crazy things lmao enjoy!

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

as remy walks into the kitchen, he notices the lights briefly flicker and the coffee machine starts beeping furiously.

‘oh, fuck!’ you say, abandoning your breakfast as you bolt over to the coffee machine.

you put your hands on either side of it and concentrate, making sure the machine’s temperature goes back to normal. remy waits for you to step back before reaching for the coffee pot.

‘I’m not gonna burn my mouth now?’ he says.

‘nope, you’re all good.’ you say, briefly smiling at him before you go back to your breakfast. 

jubilee gives you a knowing smile as she nods her head towards remy. you elbow her in the side, shooting her a warning glare. you never should have confided in her about your feelings for remy. it’s bad enough you nearly lose control whenever he enters the room. you don’t need jubilee to start dropping hints around him.

remy doesn’t seem to notice any of it, as he’s rummaging through the kitchen in search for breakfast. you ignore jubilee’s not so subtle nudges as you continue to eat your breakfast.

for the remainder of the morning, no lights flicker and no coffee machines overheat.

as you go on about your day, teaching some of the kids, remy has been thinking hard.

those flickering lights haven’t gone completely unnoticed to him. every time he enters the room you’re in, the lights flicker and if there’s some sort of machine or electronic device, it also acts up. the same thing happens when you enter a room he’s already in.

the electric stove that suddenly turned on in the kitchen. the tv turning on while no one was holding the remote. beasts’ many monitors that all started beeping at the same time – and you apologising over and over, making sure there wasn’t any damage.

and always those flickering lights.

but he knows you regularly go to the danger room to train. mostly with jean, storm and jubilee. occasionally scott calls for the entire team to have a training session, and remy always watches you closely during those sessions.

you never seem to lose control during a simulation. and he has yet to see you lose control in the field. 

if anything, he’s impressed by your abilities. 

the things you could accomplish never fail to amaze him. in his opinion, you’re one of the best and most amazing x-men he’s ever seen. not that he would ever admit that out loud. the teasing would be endless. and he doesn’t want to embarrass you. 

still, it doesn’t sit right with him the way you sometimes slip up. 

is it something about him? does he bother you somehow?

he’s so lost in his thoughts, he doesn’t notice the conversation stops when he enters the kitchen again in the afternoon.

remy looks up to see jubilee, scott and jean. he raises a single eyebrow in question, but no one explains anything, and jubilee starts talking about the latest session in the danger room she did with roberto.

while getting a snack, remy can’t help but to think he was a topic of conversation before he walked in.

‘hey cyclops, you gon’ work with y/n on controlling her powers?’ he says.

scott frowns at his words. ‘why would I?’

‘she always loses control when I see her.’ remy points out. ‘just this morning she nearly made the coffee machine overheat and combust. jubilee, you were there.’

‘have you ever seen her lose control during a mission?’ says scott.

‘non, but it doesn’t make sense why she would lose control in the kitchen and not when there’s people actively trying to kill us.’ says remy.

at his words, jubilee chuckles.

‘you never noticed?’ she says.

‘noticed what?’ says remy, confused.

‘jubilee, he’s a man. they never do.’ says jean, before turning to remy. ‘she only ever slightly slips up when you enter the room. why do you think that is?’ she says gently

‘que? only when I enter the room? why? I thought she was just jumpy, maybe I move too quietly?’ says remy.

‘come on, gambit, use those brains of yours, you’ll figure it out.’ says jubilee.

remy starts thinking out loud. ‘she only slips up when I’m in the room. or when she walks in and I’m already there. she never loses control in the field. oh, merde, does she like me?’

‘there you go! took you long enough.’ says jubilee.

‘she likes me?’ mumbles remy, smiling to himself. 

‘she’s in her room.’ says jean pointedly.

‘oui, yeah, merci.’ says remy, a bit dazed as he leaves the kitchen.

he had never once considered you might like him, and that that’s why you lose control. it makes sense now that he knows. in the field, you’re too concentrated on staying alive to focus on where he is and if he’s near. 

and he did notice you seemed to blush a lot whenever the lights flickered. you thought it was just embarrassment that your control slipped, but what if it was about him?

of course he’d noticed you when you first arrived at the mansion. how could he not? you were beautiful and he’d seen you demonstrate your powers when logan asked about it. 

now that he knows all of it, he doesn’t get how he didn’t see it before. clearly everyone knew but him? but why hadn’t you said anything to him?

as he reaches the top of the stairs, he sees the door to your room ahead. 

what was he even going to say to you? maybe he’ll just start by asking you about your powers, maybe you were aware of why you lose control.

he knocks on the door.

‘coming!’ he hears you say.

‘it’s me.’ says remy.

the light spilling onto the hallway through the gap near the floor flickers slightly, and remy smiles to himself. 

you open the door and smile at him.

‘remy!’ you say. ‘what’s up?’

since that conversation earlier with jubilee and jean, it’s like he sees you in a different light. your hair is up, and the sleeves of your shirt are rolled up. when he looks closely, he sees a slight blush on your cheeks. 

‘just came to check up on you. and tell you the coffee machine is okay.’ he says.

‘oh ha ha.’ you say sarcastically. ‘thanks very much for that update.’

you step aside to let him in. he notices the workbench in the corner of the room, scattered with various pieces of machinery. a steaming mug shows that you were working on something.

‘did I disturb you?’ he says.

‘not at all, I was just messing around.’

‘you control electricity, right?’

you frown. everyone knows about everyone’s abilities. there aren’t any secrets about powers.

‘and create it, yes.’

‘and you’ve been training for a long time.’

‘yes? what are you getting at, remy?’

‘why do you lose control when I’m around?’ he says, not dancing around it any longer.

‘I don’t.’ you say, hoping he doesn’t see through the lie. 

there’s no way he knows, right? he can’t. unless, of course, he talked to jubilee. damn that girl and her traiterous mouth.

‘come on, chéri, don’t deny it.’ says remy. 

you briefly look at him before you reach out to toy with some of the machinery on your workbench. you mumble something remy can’t hear, so he steps closer to you.

‘what was that?’ he says.

you swallow and look at him. ‘I have issues controling my powers whenever I’m around someone I have very strong feelings for.’ you admit in a soft voice. ‘it’s how I knew I was a mutant in the first place. I nearly electrocuted my first boyfriend.’

‘strong feelings, hm?’ says remy, stepping even closer to you.

‘remy, I’m trying so hard not to burst every light in this room right now.’ you say. ‘you’re making it very difficult like this.’

‘like what?’

‘like this.’ you say, gesturing to the small amount of space between the two of you.

‘but you admit you have, in your words, strong feelings for me?’

‘yes…’

‘parfait. I have strong feelings for you too, chéri.’

your eyes snap up to his upon hearing his words.

‘please tell me you’re not messing with me.’ you say. ‘because if you are, it really isn’t funny.’

remy lightly shakes his head. ‘non, I would never.’ he says. 

you notice how close his face is to yours and take a tenative step back, but your back hits your workbench. 

‘nervous?’ he says.

‘no.’ you say.

the lights in your room briefly flicker.

remy smirks at you. ‘the lights say something different, chéri. would the lights explode if I kiss you now?’

you feel a blush on your cheeks. ‘I don’t know.’ you say softly.

‘want to find out?’ says remy, leaning closer.

‘yeah.’ you manage to say.

remy closes the remaining space between you, pressing his lips against yours. you’re glad the workbench is at your back, because you’re sure your knees have given up on you. 

you feel how his hands come to rest on your hips. through your closed eyelids, you can tell the lights are indeed flickering, and you can feel remy smile against your lips.

but you don’t give a damn about those lights. because remy lebeau is finally kissing you. you couldn’t care less if all the lights burst in the mansion. it’ll be worth it.

A/N: thanks for reading! everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. please do not copy, translate, plagiarise or repost my work! some of these are requested by other people and I spend a lot of time and effort on my works <3 much love, marit

[canthelpit0]

Silent

Pairing: Matt x reader

Wordcount: 1.8k +

Summary: you’ve always quietly watched the triplets, silently wishing you could be a part of a group like them. Until you and Matt talk for the first time…

Warnings: selective mutism, anxiety, crying, angst, praise, no use of y/n, no oc

(Disclaimer: I’m not mute in any way. This was a request from an anon that I accidentally deleted. Hope you like it ! Requests are open)

I developed selective mutism pretty early on. My mom says that I didn’t talk even back in kindergarten.

But it’s been years now.

I can talk, and I can’t shut the fuck up for the life of me. I talk a lot, even have full conversations with myself.

Just not at school, or around new people. God, especially not in school.

It’s not like I want to be the ‘ weird’ mute kid. I would love to talk and make friends, I just physically can’t open my mouth and talk.

It even took months for me to utter simple words to my therapist, tho by this point I’ve known her for years and I’m pretty comfortable.

There are these triplets in my grade. We’ve always gone to the same school, but I don’t think they ever noticed me.

Well the first time I noticed them was in first grade, because there were three of them. Of corse my six year old self didn’t understand the concept of multiples back then, and I really wanted to ask, and talk to them. I really thought they were cool.

The first time I interacted with any of them tho was when I was in fourth grade and Nick had asked to use my dark green pencil since he only had light green and needed both dark and light.

Back in fourth grade I wasn’t just selectively mute, but also really shy. So I’d just looked down and stared at the desk giving him a small nod.

In freshmen year I shared a class with Nick again, he asked me for a pen, wich I gave to him.

Despite not having talked to him once in my entire life, he remembered my name. Wich isn’t too shocking since we’ve always been around each other, I was just kinda in the shadows.

He actually gave me that pen back. Most other people would’ve forgotten and just taken it, but Nick didn’t and I appreciated that.

I only ever interacted with Nick those two times. despite sharing a few classes with both Chris and Matt over the years, I’ve probably never even held eye contact with either of them.

I’ve been watching everyone.

Bullying isn’t really a thing. Sure there were some hurtful comments by jocks here and there but it really wasn’t as bad as in the movies.

Besides I think most people forget i even exist so they don’t even bother bullying me.

I’ve had my eye on Matt for a while. Not in a weird way. But Matt seems to pretty obviously have anxiety too. I don’t know if he’s open about it, I’m not in his friend circle.

But every time I’m feeling overwhelmed and we’re in the same room, I unconsciously glance at him to see if he feels the same or if I’m just going crazy.

Chris seems to be the loudest and most extroverted one. And while yes, Nick seems pretty extroverted too, Chris seems more… random? Bold?

I sulk in the back of the class my lips pulled into a tight line as I try to get myself together.

There is literally no reason for me to be feeling like this. Honestly no one has tried to talk to me today, nothing happened, I just feel so overwhelmed.

I raise my hand just slightly. I make eye contact with the teacher. Mrs. Evans. I literally love her, she’s so kind.

Her son is apparently mute too.

When I was diagnosed with selective mutism they thought it’d be a great idea to make me learn sign language just in case, and that’s just what I did.

Since Mrs. Evans son is mute, her son, as well as her and her husband also learned sign language.

So whenever I needed something I could sign to her. Not that I wouldn’t be too embarrassed too.

Our eyes lock. Everyone was working on some paper I should also be doing, but I’m too busy hyperventilating.

I let my hand drop on my desk and glance at the door quietly asking if I can go to the nurses office since I was too tired and ashamed to sign it to her.

She gives me a pitying smile but nods. I hate pity, but then again that’s better than getting told im faking.

I look around the class of students. I get up, as quiet as I can. I pack up my little stuff and quietly walk to the front of the class. I nod in appreciation and walk outside.

I stare at the ground while I walk down the hallway. I sigh.

I feel my eyes start to water and I bite the inside of my cheek.

Honestly I should probably go to the nurses office to get checked out, just so I can leave. But I don’t think I can handle communicating with another human.

I feel like I’m about to break down. I continue to walk down the hallway clutching the straps of my bag harshly.

I consider if driving home even is a good idea seeing as I’m about to have a mental breakdown. Or-

Suddenly I bump into someone.

I close my eyes trying not to cry right then. I don’t know who I bumped into but I want to apologize, but I know that I can’t, and since I don’t know who I bumped into I don’t know if it’s someone who’ll be mean about it or-

I’m taken off guard by a gentle brush to my upper arm.

“You’re good, it’s okay” I hear a soft voice say. I can feel my lip quivering, I feel like if I open my eyes the tears brimming at my waterline will actually fall.

“can you open your eyes?” It sounds more like a question, and that voice sounds painfully familiar but I can’t quite place it.

I want to tell him that I can’t, that I’ll cry if I do and I’ll feel even more embarrassed. But my curiosity takes over me.

So I slightly blink open my eyes. I don’t open my eyes fully, just enough to see the person through my tears.

It’s Matt, looking down at me all concerned.

I blink my eyes open. at the sight I watch his expression relax just slightly.

He himself looks overwhelmed, and honestly I don’t know if it’s because of how I’m acting, or if he had a shitty day himself.

“You okay?” He sighs slightly. I watch as he licks his lips and swallows thickly.

I take in another deep breath trying to calm down. I nod just slightly, but while I do the tears in my eyes finally spill.

I feel my hot tears run down my face. Matt’s eyes immediately widen and his mouth opens slightly like he thinks it’s his fault.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, no please don’t cry.” He holds up his hands in front of my face as if he wanted to wipe my tears away but was holding himself back because he didn’t know my boundaries.

He looked miserable, like he was about to cry himself. And I just know that something this wouldn’t have him emotional like this on a normal day. At least I don’t think it would. But he seemed to be overwhelmed as well.

I scrunch my nose slightly sniffling in response. I glance back up at him and the sorrow in his eyes makes me want to sink into myself. I breathe out shakily.

Before I know it I’m bringing my hands up to my face and covering it. I tilt my head forward trying to stop crying, because crying in the school halls is just pathetic.

“I’m sorry. Fuck- can I touch you?” I hear his frantic voice. I appreciate that he asked first. I want a hug, but then again I don’t know Matt. But he just seems so genuine.

I overthink not responding to his question. My thoughts spiral at the sound of the sweet nothings and apologies leaving his mouth, only being back round noise.

Matt seems to notice that I’m starting to spiral. I feel his hand tenderly touch my wrist. I flinch slightly, and as soon as I do I feel him retract his hand.

Everybody deals with anxiety differently, some people like to be physically grounded others liked to be comforted some other way and I just knew that Matt was trying to figure out what to do without overstepping.

I’d tell him that it’s okay, or that he can hug me, but I literally can’t speak and I feel too embarrassed to let him see my teary face.

“I’m sorry, I’m-“ I hear Matt let out a breath. I know an anxiety breath when I hear one, he is panicking.

I decide to bite the bullet, what’s the worst that can happen. I look up slightly and peak through my fingers.

His hands are up and frozen. He looks almost frantic, Matt looks like the only way he knows how to ground me is by hugging me or something, but he seems unsure if that’s okay.

Despite myself I let out a little nod. Matt lets out another breath but this time he actually touches me, and I don’t flinch.

He holds my wrist and gently pulls my hands off of my face.

I let out a shaky sigh. I can’t help it when I let my head fall forward.

“It’s okay.” He says sweetly under his breath. He puts his hand under my chin as he picks my face up. Our eyes lock. I see the way Matt is also crying, tears running down his face too and I relax just a little.

He never seemed like the type to make fun of someone for crying, but especially not now.

“You wanna go to my car?” He says softly, not in a way where he is forcing me to do anything, but rather offering.

And honestly as upset as i am I have to weigh my options. Would I rather cry in the school hallways or in Matt’s car?

The best option would be to go to the bathroom, but Matt wouldn’t be able to come with, and honestly I would feel too bad leaving him alone at this point.

So I nod.

I feel Matt’s arm go around my shoulders as he hugs me for a moment. He turns me, and starts walking in a way where his arm is still around my shoulder keeping me close to him.

We walk out to the parking lot. I watch as Matt unlocks the car and opens the door for me to enter.

And by this point, if I go out this way so be it…

Before i can even register Matt is also getting into the backseat next to me.

We just look at each other for a moment. He breathes out another anxiety sigh.

“You want a hug?” And with that I don’t really know if he’s asking for me, or to comfort himself. But regardless I nod.

I feel his arms come around me and I sink into the feeling of his hug.

I’m uncertain if by tomorrow he’ll act like this all never happened, or if he’ll try to get to know me, because I’ve been wanting to know him for a while and I would more then gladly let him.

Masterlist

A/n: I know this is really short and I’ve been uploading a lot of angst recently. But I’ve been feeling sad, and every time I do write smut it’s for Kinktober. Soon you’ll get smut tho. Also this ended up a lot like crybaby. <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo , @chr1sgirl4life

[venusbyline]

I dropped your hand: Boyfriend!Nate Jacobs x Female!Reader

-> SUMMARY: ❝ Nate knew he was a fucking coward who didn't know how treating you the way you deserve. ❞

-> heyyy i wrote this while i watched the All Too Well: Short Film (by Taylor Swift), so i did it based on that AMAZING dialogue between Sadie Sink and Dylan O'brien. it's definitely my favorite mv since the release.

⚠️: Angst and Fluff, Open Ending, arguing, cursing, gaslighting mentioned, established relationship, Nate's typical sexist thoughts, unhealthy relationship, Nate's a bad boyfriend (as usual), Based on a scene from All Too Well: Short Film, no use of y/n.

"Fuck... are you kidding me? Stop looking at me like that, that's so fucked up." Nate grumbled hoarsely the moment he watched your pretty eyes fill with tears.

You pretended being tough and you snorted then, turning your body to look at yourself in the bathroom mirror, starting to wash the makeup that still remained on your face. But Nate knew you better than anyone. He knew your mask of indifference just didn't match those reactions a little while ago. After all the yelling, you had no reason to lie and pretend like you didn't even want or need an apology.

Nate knew he fucked up everything at that party. He shouldn't left you alone surrounded by other drunk stupid guys, the ones you didn't even know. He also shouldn't ignored you when you sat next to him and his friends. But the worst moment was when he dropped your hand and mocked you as a fucking clingy girlfriend when you tried holding his fingers again.

Damn, he shouldn't have done a lot of things. He knew he had been an asshole to you. He was an asshole to a lot of people, but at least he used to try his best not to disappoint and hurt you. Something he failed most of the time... like that night.

"Hey, hey, hey! C'mon, baby... You know I don't wanna fight with you, princess." He tried hard to hide his trembling voice, his throat burning from drinking hours before and then yelling aggressively at you, also gaslighting when you tried to explain your feelings.

"Nate..." You warned as he hugged you from behind, his strong big body practically covering yours, putting his arms around your collarbone in an soft way so he could kiss the top of your head and look at you two in the mirror at the same time.

"I'm sorry, baby... I dropped your hand." He left a kiss on your hair, enjoying your shampoo's good smell and kissing there again. "Hey... I'm serious, okay? I'm really sorry, princess."

He gently took you by the shoulders to turn you around and face him, so he could dry your crystal tears with his long fingers, seeing you give him a slight embarrassed smile. Nate felt his chest ached with fault at not being able to let off steam.

He would always rather you crying because you thought you weren't good enough for his womanizer but rigorous bad boy reputation, than admit that he was only afraid of looking like a vulnerable and weak man around the other people... a hopeless romantic, madly in love with you. Nate Jacobs was a fucking coward and he knew that.

[cherry-leclerc]

fucked-up little thrill ☆ cl16

genre: pwp but also porn with plot (the best of both worlds!), humor, she truly is a maneater in disguiseee

word count: 8.3K

There’s a difference between warning and danger - you happen to be both. Though, Charles only sees the green light, go. Well, we can all imagine how this will already go.

nsfw warnings under the cut!

18+...oral (m and f receiving), fingering, handjob, penetrative sex, riding, slight cry, unprotected sex

inspired by this and this !

“She’ll mess with your head, man. You’re going to wish she had never looked your way.” 

“I told my mom about her. Crap, I bought her an engagement ring after a few days of knowing her.”

“Four words: Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“Do you know how fucked in the head you have to be in order to willingly go after her? Fucking pathetic. Sure, I did the same, but hear me out-”

Despite the warnings, he didn’t pay them any attention. He thought he was going crazy for sure when he saw two guys on their knees, begging:  Run, just do it. And whatever you do, don’t look back.

Charles wasn’t even listening. 

-

The nights were beginning to get warmer, yet there was still a slight breeze. Spring was rolling in. What an innocent season to meet the wildest card Charles has ever dealt. 

“...then she laughed so hard that, Jesus Mary and Joseph, my heart went bananas! Y’know what I did next? I asked her, ‘You want a slice?’ I meant the tiramisu, guys! She thought I was talking about myself! T’was the most embarrassing thing. Made me look like a bloody narcissist.” Lando whined as he leaned onto the table to hide his face.

George snorts. “Ah don’t worry mate, I would gladly take a slice.” Lando groans, further rubbing his forehead onto the table. So much so, that it began to squeak.

“Alright, calm down before you shed your skin off. It wasn’t that bad.” Alex voices, as he pops a curly fry into his mouth. 

“Easy for you to say! You basically have the person you’re going to get married to! You’re safe.” The Brit pouts. He then lifts his head up and wipes away a single tear. Everyone explodes into laughter.

“Muppet, c’mon we were kidding! Weren’t we just fooling around, Charles?” Carlos wiggles his eyebrows at the Monegasque. Charles rolled his eyes playfully.

“Yes, of course we were joking,” he starts. Lando looks up, seemingly feeling better as everyone began to agree. We were just playing around!

“Then again, how did you even fall for a girl like that?” Charles finishes his sentence. 

“Argh. You don’t get itttt,” Lando wails in defeat. “When you meet a girl like that, you don’t question it. You just thank God for sending her your way and then BAM! She just walks out of your life.”

Hm - Charles thinks to himself as he takes a sip of Martini - naive, naive little Lando. 

-

Charles met you that same night he was out for dinner with the boys. He was waiting for his car from the valet; shooting Joris a quick text.

"Sorry," he overhears a soft voice, but still didn’t pay much attention.

"Sorry? You’re sorry? We both know goddamn well that you’re sorry about nothing. Nada. Zeeerrrooo," a man's voice angrily shouts back, voice slurring. 

Charles turns and sees a man running his hands through his blonde hair, walking back and forth in despair. Then, his eyes move to find you.

Standing tall in the tightest, shortest, black dress he's ever seen. So, the little black dress truly does exist. Glowy skin shining through from the lights decorating the outside of the restaurant. Your legs appear miles long, feet paired with your nicest set of heels, Joli Queen Glitter. Red fucking bottoms. Christian Louboutin at its finest. Rich jewelry sits on your wrists, fingers, and neck. 

Even with all that in the way, all he notices is just how drop-dead gorgeous you are. Suddenly, his fingers get clammy. What the hell? His jaw was clenched. Literally, why? His pants were growing tight because oh God he was already har- Alright, now that’s just crazy, Charles. Get it together.

“Yes. Whether you believe me or not, I’m sorry. Maybe you just shouldn’t have set high expectations,” you spoke, looking down.

“Are you being fucking serious right now? You’re smiling? You think this is funny! Oh God, what the fuck is wrong with you, you crazyyyy bitch!” The man continues, sharply pointing his finger at you accusingly. He genuinely looks like he’s about to start crying for his mommy.

“Okay mate, I think that’s enough. Why don’t I call you a cab?” Charles speaks up from where he’s standing. You and the mysterious guy turn to look at him. 

You shoot a smile as the man's eye starts twitching.

“Oh great! Great, great, great,” the man chants. “What an idiotic thing to believe that you hadn't gotten rid of me already! How could I not see it coming?” He drops to his knees and starts rocking back and forth. “On my dead hamster's birthday!” Levi, Charles later finds out, cries out to the sky. “Couldn’t this have happened any other day?” Charles cringes. “Call me that shitty ass cab, dude.”

So, you stand close by as Charles helps plop Levi inside with the help of the cab driver. They buckle him up and off they go. 

Not before Levi pokes his out the window. “I swear I’m not being bitter when I tell you to fucking save yourself!”

Both of you are left there standing quietly. You pout your red lips as you pull out your phone to call a cab for yourself. 

“Need a lift?”

-

Glancing around silently, you sneak a look at Charles. Handsome, you ponder, just a tiny bit. Outrageous lie. You quickly scold yourself for being so untruthful. This man was the most beautiful kind you’ve seen in your entire life. 

“Take it that was your boyfriend back there?” He taps his fingers against the wheel.

“Mmm. Hardly. No, he isn’t - wasn’t - my boyfriend by any means. Some guys just instantly assume stuff over any girl that pays them any ounce of attention.” You lazily trace shapes onto your thigh. You tug your dress down a bit, licking your lips. “Thanks for helping me out back there. It was really sweet.”

He notices the way you never look up from your lap as you’re speaking. It’s kind of endearing, just how soft you can be. “Don’t mention it…it was…no problem.”

He walks you from his car to your house. It's small, pastel yellow with a mailbox that reads; No more love letters. Seriously. “Cute,” he comments. You blush.

“Oh, that. Sorry, I live with my two best friends and they wrote that as a joke,” you ramble as you click your heel shyly. “They said it would help out with my, and I quote, ‘secret admirers.’” You let out a tired laugh as you finally build up the courage to look at the man standing right in front of you.

“To be honest, that makes sense.” He tilts his head a bit, analyzing your eyes. “Beautiful girls should receive beautiful letters.”

Tongue tied, you stare back with a pleased smile. 

“This is so unlike me, but would you like to go out some time?”

Easiest question ever asked.

-

A few nights later, he finally decides it would be a good day to take you out to dinner. Testing went well and the car was finally on the right track. He took this as a good omen.

“How long have you lived in Italy now?” you quiz, as you bring your Shirley Temple closer to your lips.

“Oh, um, for quite a while now. I mean it’s really only for work. I go home any chance I get.”

“Sweet. Where are you from?”

“Monaco.”

Your eyes grow wide with excitement. “Really! Monaco is so beautiful!” Your childlike squeal makes him smile brightly.

���Have you ever been?” You sadly shake your head, hair bouncing back and forth. Soft floral fills the air.

“Nope, but I wish to one day. I just know I’ll love it so much…” You trail off. “It’s just that growing up my favorite movie was Monte Carlo. Would beg my mom to play it any chance I could.” Maroon coats your cheekbones. He furrows his dark brows in confusion.

“Monte Carlo? You know, starring Selena Gomez?” His soft features pinch together. “...Leighton Meester? Katie Cassidy?” You desperatelyspit your words, trying to assist. He continues shaking his head. Never heard of it.

Your mood grows sulky as you pout. Leaning back, you finally take a sip of your drink. Oh, well now I really want something stronger than this.

“I would love to watch it some time though!” Charles tries as his voice cracks. He winces.

“Sure!” Though, you're not looking at him anymore. Your eyes are trained behind him. He’s about to turn around and ask if you’re fine, when you finally speak up. “I think I’ll go to the bar for another drink. Be right back!” He huffs. 

You weren’t back for almost too long. Finally, deciding to go look for you, he stands and takes long strides all around the dark restaurant. When he finds you he sees you’re not alone. 

A man in an all black suit seems to be your new company. You giggle as he appears to slide some type of business card to you. Just as you're about to grab it Charles strolls over to you both.

“Is your drink finally ready?” he asks as he wraps a protective arm around your waist. You flinch. You hadn’t even seen him walk over.

“Charles!” you shriek, as you crumble the piece of paper into the palm of your hard, hurriedly. You pray that he hadn’t noticed, but he had. Something inside of him told him not to ask. “I was actually on my way back. Did you need anything? A drink?” you ask, furrowing your brows attentively. 

“No, thank you, amour,” Charles warmly replies, looking into your glossy eyes. You truly were the best thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

“My apologies for getting in the way.” The man extends his hand out to Charles. “Aiden Quinn, pleasure to meet you.”

Charles may be upset that Aiden ruined his date, but he wasn’t keen on being rude, so begrudgingly, he shook his hand. “Charles Leclerc.” See, normally Charles isn’t the type to throw his name out like that expectantly, but he felt as if he had a point to make. He did, though. I was here first. 

The man grins ear to ear, nodding. “Yes, that’s where I know you from. I knew you looked familiar. Formula 1 driver, right? Ferrari?” He points with a knowing smile. 

“Scuderia’s number one driver, yes.” His grip around your waist stays secure. Meanwhile, your eyes are open to their fullest. Surprisingly, you had no idea. 

“Certainly. I’m one of the team's ambassadors, actually,” Aiden challenges. Charles clenches his jaw. “When you have million dollar businesses all around the world, you try to find a place to help. Ferrari really needs it at the moment.” You’re equally as shocked with Aiden as you are with Charles.

“Well then, I’ll make sure to dedicate my next podium to you I suppose." You shift uncomfortably. This reminds him you’re there. With him. Ha! Take that, Quinn! “Anyhow, I would love to chit chat with fellow fans, but I must say we have to get going.” He holds your hand firmly as he leads you out.

“Goodbye, Aiden!” you beam as you depart ways. 

-

“Formula 1 driver now, is it?” you curiously ask as you look over where he has one hand over the steering wheel and running the other calmly through his hair. 

“Thought you knew.”

“I had no clue! Zip!” you shriek as fling your arms through the air. He laughs as he pulls into an abandoned parking lot. 

“In the mood for something sweet?”

-

“Grazie mille,” the Monegasque says as he's handed cones of freshly made gelato. Smiling, he makes his way back to you. Hands you per requested raspberry, as he keeps his lemon one. 

“Molto gentile.” You inspect and nod your head in approval. Just hearing your tongue curl in Italian has him swooning. You take a lick and release a soft moan. “So sweet. Best I’ve ever had,” you declare as you continue enjoying your treat innocently.

Charles gulps, trying to cool down. “I told you it was the best.” He shoots a wink over to Luca, the owner, for keeping the shop open for a few more minutes. 

“You scared me a bit back there.”

“Pfft. With that Aiden guy…I’m sorry about that–”

“God no. Honestly, I completely forgot about that,” you mutter. “I meant with that whole, ‘In the mood for something sweet?’. Thought you were like the rest.”

The 25 year old keeps quiet for a minute. He gathers his thoughts before settling with, “I promise I’m not.”

“Keeping my fingers crossed you aren’t.” You look around with twinkling eyes. “You know, a date I once had asked me-”

You want a slice?

No.

“It shocked me how straight forward he was being. It wasn’t even our second date! I barely even knew the guy.” You frown at the memory. “Then he blamed it on the tiramisu.”

I meant the tiramisu, guys!

God no. 

“Never saw him again,” you finish as you finally focus back on him. A pale Charles is all you find.

“Woah, are you okay?” 

“Yes! I’m so good! You look lovely! Did I mention it already cause if I didn’t then call me the worst date ever!” He begins nervously laughing. His gelato dripping all over his arm.

“I think you did.” You smile as you hand him a few napkins. He returns the gesture, thanking you. “And don’t worry about it, leave that spot for Lando. Now he might take the crown.”

Charles let out a groan.

-

Charles went back and forth deciding whether he should reach out to you. He liked you. A lot. Nonetheless, he was hesitating because he just couldn’t do something like that to Lando. The Brit was as bummed out as one could get. So, it's settled. Bye bye baby.

“Of course. Tonight at 8,” your voice confirms on the other side of the line. Charles celebrates with a quick dance.

“See you then.”

-

He decides today that he wants to switch things up. Do something that would make him stand out from anyone that came before him. 

“Monaco?” Leaning on the hood of Charles' car, you feel you have to be dreaming. He nods his head lively.

“I could show you around, y’know be your personal tour guide.”

“You should have warned me! I don’t have anything ready!” you yelp as you hold your hands over your heart, frantically. He would be more worried if it weren’t for you smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

“We still have time. Come on, I’ll help you pack.”

-

When you make it to Monaco you’re greeted by a young guy wearing glasses, driving a Ferrari Pista. Charles and him fit in a quick embrace before they turn their attention back to you.

“Ah yes, this is Joris. He’s one of my closest friends,” Charles states as you warmly reach for a handshake. 

Reciprocating, Joris says, “Very nice to meet you.” You smile, returning the greeting. “Must say, you are just as beautiful as Cha had mentioned, if not more.” You blush as Charles clears his throat awkwardly.

“D'accord, mec. Pas besoin de le dire au monde entier,” Charles mutters. “Thank you for picking us up.” Joris nods, carrying your luggages. You share a quick goodbye before he finally makes his way to another car. “That’s also one of my very good friends, Marta.” You smile and wave as they drive off. 

Monaco definitely met your expectations. Everything just captivated your attention so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if you started to drool. 

“Holy shit. Your home is absolutely stunning!” you gasp. He wheels your bags in as he exhales.

“Merci. Make yourself at home.”

-

Thankfully, the flight was quick so you both have plenty of energy to go out for a late night snack. He takes you to his; Favorite place in the world! You’ll see.

A little stand sits in the corner of the street. 

“Lou makes one of the best crepes. Trust me, I’ve been a loyal customer since my school days.”

A little old lady is attending to customers, but stops as soon as she spots Charles. “Charlie! Chérie, je ne savais pas que tu étais de retour!” She makes her way around to hug him.

“Des projets de dernière minute, mais j'ai juste envie de manger une de tes incroyables crêpes,” he replies, as they pull away.

“And who is this pretty girl?” she questions as she looks at you, standing there patiently.

“Oop, hello. I’m a friend of Charles.” Lou smiles teasingly.

“Charlie, tu es là pour me dire que tu vas te marier?” Lou suddenly looks over the moon.

“Non!” he quickly shouts, so suddenly, you and Lou both jump a bit. Tight lipped, he apologizes.

“Like she said, we’re just friends."

-

The next morning after breakfast he recommends you bring something you can swim with. Skipping your way to his room, which he is kindly sacrificing for you, you roam through your luggage until you find a baby blue bikini. 

“You don’t get sea sick by any means, right?” He looks over at you with scrunched brows underneath a pair of glossy black Ray Bans. You shake your head.

“Great.”

You make your way to a tiny boat before he helps you settle in. You grab his hand softly as you step into it. A single touch of electricity seems to link your fingertips. It catches you both so off guard that he lets go of you so swiftly, you don’t even notice as you plunge into the water.

You let out a quick yelp before you go underwater and his hands fly to his head in embarrassment. You resurface with wet hair covering your face.

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” he apologizes before extending his arm out for you to grab. Pushing your hair out of your face, you giggle. 

“It’s okay, I got it.”

Once you independently get on the boat, he unties the rope off the deck and takes a seat himself to drive you both to the unknown destination.

“Pretty please, can I know now where we’re going?” you squeal with puppy eyes. 

Lord help me, he thinks before replying. “We’re going to a little island I love. Îles de Lérins.” You look ahead, nodding patiently. “It’s beautiful, you’ll see.”

-

When you arrive it’s easy to understand that there doesn’t seem to be that many people. You basically have the place to yourselves.

He helps you off, not dropping you this time. There’s a small trail you both begin to take. It’s something peaceful, the moment you’re in. You almost wish to fit it into a snow globe. 

“My parents would always bring my brothers and I here all the time during summer when we were younger,” Charles confesses.

“You have brothers?” 

He turns to look at you, then continues ahead. “Yes. Two.” He kicks a rock out of his way, but something you didn’t know was just how clumsy this man child could be.

“Ouch!” you groan in pain as your hand flies up to your nose.

“Jesus! What’s wrong with me today? Are you okay? I’m so sorry!” He runs to you all panicky now.

You take it back. Break the goddamn snow globe.

You try tilting your head back to ease the blood pouring out your nose before he gently grips your face to gain your attention. You scrunch your eyes, sun suddenly blinding you. Quickly, he takes off his glasses and places them over your eyes. As you open them you notice he’s shirtless. He places his shirt on your nose to clean you up. You flinch a bit.

Instantly, you’re thankful for the sunglasses because wondering eyes were all you could give him. His lean muscles were just begging to be praised. 

You shake your head before taking the Puma shirt from him. “Thanks,” you mutter as you focus on a nearby tree. “Starting to think you might hate me or something.”

“Of course not... I could never hate you!” His voice cracks in nervousness. You snicker.

After a bit more wiping, you are as good as new. You both decide to take a dip while the water feels good. You strip from your Levi shorts and t-shirt. Dipping a toe to test the temperature, you shoot him two thumbs up. 

The ocean feels so fresh and silky against your skin. You can’t seem to remember the last time you’ve enjoyed someone’s company like this, even if they almost ruled you to the ends of Earth. Two fingers press against your neck. You spring one eye open and you see Charles biting down on his thumb. He relaxes.

“Sorry, I thought you crossed the line to the afterlife.”

You tread water to stretch your legs out. “I’m fine.”

He takes this time to note things he hadn’t paid attention to before. Like how your lashes pin against your skin since they’re wet. Or how a tiny bit of freckles are sprinkled on your nose. He curses himself for not having seen it any sooner. Pretty was an understatement. You were extraordinary. 

A few hours later you guys are back at his house sharing a pizza. Pepperoni, you both loved a classic.

“There’s no bruise,” he points out almost proudly. You shoot a playful scowl. He walks over to the T.V. and clicks the remote. “Monte Carlo?”

He loved it, the way you said he would. He especially enjoyed watching how much you loved it. 

“This movie was too ahead of its time,” you confirm as you dig your feet under the blanket you had curled into. 

“Well at least Grace and Theo got their happily ever after,” he pronounces. You shoot an impressed look. “What? I was listening.” You crawl up next to him and pat his cheek. His dimples pop out from how hard he’s smiling. 

He can’t help it the moment he reaches to cradle your face to press your lips together. He can’t help but let a moan slip out when you finally kiss him back. 

Finally, he picks you up to adjust you on his lap, which you comfortably settle into. You feel him underneath you so clearly you can’t help but move your hips. He feels so good.

The heated moment continues as he wraps his hands around the curve of your ass. You pull away as your lips move down to his neck. He almost gasps the moment you lick down his throat. It doesn’t help that you’ve been keeping your hips in motion. 

He almost passes out the moment your lips move to his ear and ask, no, beg; Let me taste you, please. How could he ever deny such offer?

Making your way down to your knees, he adjusts himself on the couch. He thinks to himself that if he were standing he would’ve made a fool out of himself because just the sight of you in front of him has him choking on his own breath. You just look so pretty.

You tug his shorts down, along with his boxers, and bite down on your lip as you grab his cock, softly. He has to stop himself from jerking into your hand. Precum sprouting from his tip. You can’t wait as you take kitten licks. Fuck, he whimpers. The sound of his voice makes you squeeze your thighs together.

Wrapping your lips around him, your hands reach to balance yourself against his thighs. You moan at the feeling of having him inside your mouth, drooling all over his lap.

This itself, is too much for Charles and thinks he’ll barely even be able to survive as his head turns against the couch' pillow with closed lids. You start bobbing your head and one hand flings down to jerk off what you can’t reach. He groans at the feeling. 

You start off slow but suddenly start picking up your pace. He opens his eyes, dazed, to catch a glimpse of you on your knees and this sight is something he won’t be able to forget even if he tried. With glassy eyes, you look up at him. You make a show of releasing your lips from his cock as you lap your tongue along it. Before going back at it, you twirl your tongue a couple of times around his tip before giving it a quick suck, then deep throat him. 

He grits his teeth as if to help deal with any of this but when you start toying with yourself he lets out the loudest whine he’s ever produced. You look up smiling, grazing your teeth lightly along him and he hisses at the feeling. Proudly, you fit him back into your mouth. 

“God, your mouth feels so fucking good,” he manages to get out before you solely start jerking him off.

“What about my hands?” you seductively tease. The sounds coming from both your hands and his cock should be considered a sin itself. He groans as he looks back to make eye contact with you.

“Your hands too, baby.”

He knows he’s close the moment you twist your wrist perfectly. So so good. You know he’s close when he begins to twitch underneath your fingertips. 

“I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” he chants as you continue your dirty movements. He makes sure to look at you, focused, eyes drawn to his cock.

“Cum for me, Charles,” you coo as he finally bucks his hips into your hands and hot cum shoots all over your face. You wickedly smile as your lips reach his cock to continue swallowing the rest that is being released. He grabs you face to pull you off him and hauls you once again onto his lap. He’s about to kiss you before you pull away and point at the mess on your face. 

You wipe two fingers along your face and bring them to your mouth to clean them off. A pop is released when you let go. He shudders. 

This is the moment, Charles realizes, he’s so screwed.

-

When you make it back to Italy you realize that all you’ll have are a few fleeting moments together. With Charles going back to racing and you continuing your online classes, you’re both bound to be booked.

Though, Charles just isn’t ready to let you go. And a fucked up man will make fucked up choices when due.

So, he strings you along with him to the Miami GP. He realizes there’s a strong chance you might bump shoulders with Lando, but to be completely honest, he was past caring. He was completely smitten with you.

-

You wear your white summer dress as you are sprawled on his hotel bed. You’re a mess.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you whimper as Charles fingers slip in and out of you. He’s feverishly kissing down the side of your thighs, bites left in between. You groan in slight pain as you tug on his soft hair. This man has brought out the moon and stars, for you.

“C’mon baby, look at me,” he whispers as he paints you with hickeys in between your legs. Somewhere no one else will ever be able to catch a glimpse of. You nod your head as you look down to find him gripping your dress over your thighs, eating you out like a starved man. You shut your eyes as you release a few soft pants, the heels of your feet press deeper against his Ferrari polo.

“Open you’re eyes.”

You shake your head. You wish you could look at him, you really wanted to, but it’s just too much take in. You wanted to make this last.

But Charles was greedy. He wanted to taste you. He stops everything all at once. You let out a cry. Fuck him.

You bring your arms around his neck, loosely, as he kisses your shoulder. “Why’d you stop?”

“You weren’t looking at me.”

With all your strength you open your glittered eyelids. 

“That’s a good girl,” he coos as he picks you up and sits you at the edge of the bed. You look down at him confused as he gets on his knees in front of you.

“If you can’t look at me, then you’re going to have to look at yourself,” he directs as he begins to push your dress back up your waist. You lean against your elbows as you realize what other than Charles is in front of you.

A shiny glass mirror.

With a slightly open mouth you’re about to protest before Charles picks up right where he left off. He spits on your clit before rubbing it. You bite down on your bottom lip so hard, you draw blood. 

“Don’t tell me I have to get you to moan now?” Charles stares at you with furrowed brows. You shake your head no before he kisses your knee. “Good.”

He makes sure you look straight at your reflection before he curls his fingers inside of you. You mewl at the touch. Your legs beg to bring him closer.

He lets out a light chuckle before repeating his motion. With sleepy eyes, you stare at the way your legs rest against his shoulders. You had painted your nails bloody mary a few nights before, in support of him and his team. Your face all fucked up singly by Charles’ long fingers and delicate touch, red lipstick all over your mouth from how heavy your make out with Charles had been.

To him, you looked like an angel. 

You squeal as he presses his nose against your pussy. You grind against his face. He pulls away and you whine, looking at him desperately.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay,” he reassures you as he moves up to kiss your cheek and then your pouty lips. 

“Cha, please,” you beg hopelessly. He grins as he pushes your hair out of your face and runs his thumb across your lips trying to clean you up a bit.

You take a chance and wrap your lips around his finger, and you begin to suck. Expertly, you swirl your tongue. Eyes look back at him, almost challenging. He lets out a strained groan.

With all the willpower he has left, he removes his finger from your mouth. Nicely wet, he presses it back where you needed him the most.

“Thank you, baby, you shouldn’t have.” You cry out at the sudden size of his thumb now being inside of you. He switches out his thumb for his middle and ring finger. You throw your head back. All the back and forth almost has you blacking out a few times. Charles gives you a quick peck, fingers building speed, as he pulls your dress down a bit to release your plump tits.

Now he’s at a loss for words. Quickly, he regains his composure and starts sucking on your left nipple, legs squeezing around his waist as a reflex. One hand flies to the back of his head as one makes its way to cup his cheek adoringly.

He moans against you, sucking hard before moving his attention to your right nipple. The way you’re wailing against him has him painfully hard against his jeans.

“Yes, God yes right there, Charlie,” you let out as you grind against his hand. He detaches his lips from your chest as he smiles up at you. 

“I’m right here, baby. Cum for me, yeah?” You let out the most pornographic moan as you finish around his hand. Tears make their way down your cheeks. Cleans his fingers, he shuts his eyes satisfied, before he towers over your body, pressing kisses all over.

You giggle. “That tickles." The 25 year old’s heart doubles in size at the sound of your fucked out voice. 

“Why don’t we get you cleaned up before the race?”

-

The race results weren't the best Charles has had, that’s for sure. Head hung, he makes his way to his motorhome. There he finds you on the tiny little bed, curled up, watching the rest of the ongoing interviews. As soon as you notice him you jump up to your feet and walk to him.

It's almost as if you knew how down he was feeling when you wrap your arms around his waist and pressing your face against his chest. He instantly feels better as his arms swaddle over your shoulders, chin atop your pretty hair.

“You did good,” you mumble. You press a faint kiss on his suit before looking up.

“I fucked up. I got P7.”

You frown at him before holding his face between your soft palms. “P7 is good, what do you mean?” He just shakes his head. “You’ve never heard of seven being a lucky number?”

He scoffs, but not at you, never you. More at himself. “Lucky?”

You pull away and sit back on his bed. “Oh yeah, seven bring all the luck in the world!” you squeal, as you plop on the bed. He laughs lightly as he lies beside you.

“Guess I’ll just take your word for it.” He hums with his eyes closed.

You turn on your side as you try to memorize his face. Like the small mole that sits on the left side of his face that makes him even more handsome, if anyone asks for your opinion. You scold yourself for not having noticed it before. As if to fix things, you name it one of your favorite things about him.

“You should. Things will get better, you’ll see.”

For once, he really believes it.

-

You both are walking out of the Ferrari home when you're suddenly stopped by someone calling Charles’ name. 

“Hey, Charles! Great race man!” A familiar voice rings through the air before you both have a chance to turn around. Both you and Charles, unknowingly of one another, want to make a run for it.

“Thanks, Lando,” Charles replies as he prays he might not notice you. But a girl as beautiful as you can’t go forgotten.

“Holy shit it’s you!” Lando wails as he instantly recognizes you from dinner a few months ago. You cringe. What the chances?

“Hi,” you squeak as you hide behind Charles a bit. You had no idea Lando was a Formula 1 driver too. You ought to do your research better next time.

“Mate! This is the chick I was telling you about over dinner last time!” Lando says, eyes almost popping out of his face from the shock he’s in.

“You don’t sayyyy.” Charles tries to hide it, though inside he’s freaking out as if he’s broken every FIA rule in the book.

“Hey, I want to say sorry for that night, I should have been more clear,” Lando begins to spill his apologies, as all you can do is silently stand there, accepting them all.

“Of course. Long forgotten,” you comfort the Brit. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy. 

“Charles, I’ll wait for you outside, alright?” you utter as he nods. Once you walk out, he turns to Lando frantically.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that was the same girl you were upset about!” he tells him. Liar. “You must be mad at me and I get it-”

“Nope.”

Charles stares back, caught off guard by Lando’s response. 

“You’re not?” 

Lando rolls his eyes. “I’m not. I just hope you realize what she’s capable of.” He leans in closer to Charles’ ear and Charles leans in too, expectantly. “I’ve heard stories, man…”

Charles immediately pulls away. “Okay, we’re done here. Bye mate!”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

But Charles knew you better. He saw the way you looked at him. The way you felt. You were different. Fuck your following reputation.

“Ready?” 

-

When you got back from Miami, something had shifted. He couldn’t quite name the moment it had, but he was sure of it. He didn’t care though. He would put up with just about anything as long as that meant having you around.

“And then he told me to test the car again, said it was fixed. Fixed my ass!” Charles tells you over FaceTime. You were sitting in your bedroom, painting nonsense on a canvas. You wore some old overalls with loose space buns. Strands of hair would hit the paint from how messy it was.

“No way,” you say, not looking up. Charles smiles fondly.

“You look lovely by the way.” Though, you don’t seem to catch his affirmation for you. Your eyes are focused on something out of frame, in front of you. A quick smirk appears on your face but slips so fast that he almost begins to think he’s imagined it.

“Thank you, Charles,” you reply with a much bigger smile now. “Hey, how about I meet you at your house at 9? I’ll cook you a nice meal, promise.”

Like always, he knows he shouldn’t ask and also knows he can’t say no to you.

“I’ll be waiting.”

-

That night when you step into his house he notices things he wishes weren’t there. Like how your hair was a tad bit messy or how there were light bruises on your neck. He knows those didn’t come from him. He’d always been mindful to mark you in places no one else could admire, just him. Something bugs him knowing someone has seen them already.

“I’m so sorry I’m late." You rush in with bags from the nearby market, the one just around the corner from his flat.

“No worries. So, what will we be cooking, my little chef?”

That night you seem so infatuated by him, he truly thinks this all was his imagination. Maybe the wind blew your hair on your way here; he should have offered to pick you up. Maybe he forgot he had also marked your neck; he’ll make sure to be more careful next time.

He wraps his arms around your waist as you cut pieces of basil. Giggling, you turn around to peck his lips. Craving more from you, he lifts you up onto the kitchen island. He stands in between your legs as you stare up at him, ever a vixen.

As you lock lips, he picks you up, you yelp all giddy. He makes his way over to his bedroom, your lips lingering on his neck, he almost drops you from how good it feels.

“Careful, don’t need another wack in the face,” you mumble from his neck, light spirited. He rolls his eyes at your comment, but yeah, he should probably focus. 

Finally reaching his room, he kicks the door open so hard, it flies and instantly makes a hole through the wall. You gasp as he groans.

“Fuck it, it’s fine,” he murmurs as he takes you to his bed where he drops you. You giggle as your hair covers your face, he makes his way to hover over you and brush it away.

“You know I would do anything for you?” he asks, tenderness lacing his voice.

You stare back at him with bright and eager eyes. “Yeah. I know.”

He smiles as he leans down to kiss you and you instantly melt into the mattress beneath you. He kisses you so fast, so hot, that it has you feeling lightheaded. I’ve been kissed before but never, ever, like this, you think as he slips his tongue as a quick trick. You moan with pleasure. He smiles into the kiss. 

He picks his head up to get a good look at the angel the universe had ever so nicely sent his way. He caresses you gingerly. “Are you sure, chérie?”

You nod up and down eagerly, ready for more he’s willing to give. You are so desperate you would gladly take anything as long as it's from him. A flash of sadness strikes your face before it’s replaced with a warm smile. 

“We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to,” he comforts you as he begins to take a step back. You quickly hold onto his veiny arm. 

“I want to,” you confirm. You bring him back to you as you kiss him for the millionth time that night. Even that would never be enough. 

His hands make their way to slip your dress off. Once you're left in your matching lingerie, you push him on his back and straddle him.

“Holy shit,” he nervously laughs as you started to unbutton his linen shirt. He pulls his arm out as you sloppily brush your lips down his smooth chest, fingers tracing his firm abs. Then, as you’re about to pull his pants down, he grabs your hands firmly. You glance at him, confusion written all over your face.

“Ladies first,” he teases. You roll your eyes, but still slip out a quick, okay, before settling under him once again. He kisses down your neck gently as you hum out, finding peace with his lips hovering your body. Every new kiss he places on your soft skin makes you feel thousands of butterflies. You’d never experienced something like this before, you’ve never felt so flawless. 

Clumsy fingers roam your back as he unclips your bra then strips you from your panties. Seeing you completely bare has his dumbstruck. This is something he could easily get used to. 

His hands make their way to squeeze your tits, your head digs deeper into the mattress as you release a soft whimpers. Charles grows harder by the second, already getting rid of the rest of his clothes as quickly as he can.

He tugs you closer to him by your legs. A laugh rolls past your lips. Resting both arms by either side of your head, he pushes into you. Synchronously, you both let out a moan. You dig your nails into his shoulder as he grips onto the sheets. 

You feel so tight around him that it takes all of him not to lose control. You throw your arm over your face, face scrunched.

Putting his feelings aside, Charles leans down and plants a kiss on your arm. “C’mon baby, not again. Look at me.”

“I can’t…,” you cry out weakly, “...too big.”

“You just have to adjust,” he reassures you as he begins to move in and out of you. Your arms fly up to his neck and you grab on tight, as if he’s keeping you ashore. You moan loudly.

“That’s it, baby,” he whispers as he thrusts deep inside of you. Your velvety walls feel like home to him and he never wants to leave. 

You squirm when his cock hits your sweet spot. You yell into the nothingness and your grip on his hair tightens so much, he groans at the sensation. His hips pick up speed, and suddenly, he’s kissing you again. You whine into his lips, needy for more. Harder. 

As if he could read your mind, that's exactly what he does. Your lips form a silent O as you stare at him with eyebrows drawn together. He just feel so fucking good.

“Fuck baby,” he groans, voice deep. You shiver at the sound. “God, you feel so good, you’re doing so good,” he praises you as he now looks into your eyes. You wail in response, too fucked up to form any kind of sentence.

“I love you so much,” he announces so suddenly, you almost push him away. He keeps moving rapidly as he makes out with you eagerly.

As you kiss him back you realize something scary; you love Charles Leclerc. You think you’ve loved him for a while now, but having never been in love, you didn’t seem to notice the feeling. But you do now.

“I love you, too,” you murmur against his lips. When he pulls away you notice you’ve never seen him smile so big. You like being the reason behind it.

He immediately pounds into you harder, not holding back anymore and you’re both a mess. You moan so loud, you’re almost embarrassed but Charles seems to love it.

“If you love me,” he pants, “then tell me his name.”

He continues normally, but you swear you feel your heart stop. There’s no way.

“What are you talking about?” you manage to spit out, but the way he’s handling your body has you seeing stars.

“Please,” a desperate look flashes across his face, “just tell me his name.” His watch covered hand makes its way to your clit and he pushes his finger against it. God, his fingers are so-

“There’s no one.” Liar. “There’s just you.”

With that, you flip him over so now you’re on top of him. Hastily, you start to ride him, making sure to move your hips just the way he likes it. His head falls back against the bed frame as his fingers dig into your hips. You bite your swollen lips in slight pain, but also, just by looking at his current state.

Cheeks slightly pink with sweaty hair covering his face. Long disheveled hair that you pressed him not to trim quite yet. What a sight for sore eyes.

“Please,” he chokes out, “just tell me his name and I swear I’ll never bring it up again.” He opens his eyes to look up at you. His voice hitches when he sees you hopping on his dick, tits bouncing up and down. You throw your head back and circle your hips much harder.

“Fuck.” Charles gasps as he reaches up to attach his lips to your chest. He licks before softly biting down against your bud. You exhale sharply. He then lays back and holds onto your hips harder before helping you move on top of him. Wrapped around him, the motion between both of you picks up so fast you start shaking your head no.

“Yes, amour, say it. Please just tell me before I lose my fucking mind,” he grunts as he stares down at your juices as they make the filthiest sound against his own. 

“I swear Charles, I promise, that I have never loved anyone the way I do you,” you confess as you sink your nails against his chest, red marks instantly mapping themselves down.

“Beautiful fucking liar.” Charles smirks as he moves his fingers against your clit rapidly. With that, your walls clench around him as you cum so hard around him he can’t help but follow. You moan loudly as you fall against his chest as he groans lowly. 

Trying to even your breathing, you grab onto his hand. Instantly, he brings it up against his lips. Just the touch of his makes you want to ride him until you can’t no more. 

You meant what you said that night. Though you both should have known better. Being naive can’t always last forever.

-

“Then she left a note saying it’s best we just remain friends,” Charles reveals a few nights later over dinner. Everyone shares glances of empathy to the distraught Monegasque. Even Lando.

“It’s alright man, you’ll be over her before you know it,” Lando states as he shares a knowing smile. Charles bites down on his tongue knowing all this pent of anger wasn’t towards Lando. Not even for you. 

He would like to say that he learned his lesson and that he should have listened to everyone, all the warning signs that glowed above his head. But he knows damn well he would do it all over again if given the chance. He would say, do anything, to change your mind. To make you stay, but people like you never settled. 

Moping, Charles changes the topic as he begins asking how everyone’s break was. He didn’t really care, but he tried to pretend. 

Out of breath, Oscar rushes over to the table. “Sorry I’m late,” he says as he sits down in between Lando and Charles.

“No worries, mate, Charles was just filling us in on his expired love life,” Daniel fills in, nonchalantly. Charles immediately shoots a dry frown. Daniel shares an apologetic shrug.

“Oh. That sucks man,” the young Australian replies as he gulps down some water. “Speaking of love lives, you guys won’t believe it! I just met the prettiest girl of my entire life just now outside of the restaurant!”

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE

[astuteology]

Some more observo🫶🏻

If a SCORPIO starts liking you, he/she will ask for your pictures. Not "those" pictures. Your bare faced one. Ik that's kinda scary. But they love anything raw and bare. 🥹🫶🏻

Speaking of scorpios, DO NOT under any circumstances, LIE TO THEM. Please🛐. They'll know it. And if you happen to like a scorpio, and you show them your best, show them what YOU think they'll like, No don't do it. BE RAW, BE REAL, TAKE YOUR STAND IF SOMEONE HUMILIATES YOU, etc. Just be real, that's all they ask. They will love your dark side as well.

Lilith in the 4th, might have been suppressed or humiliated in their home for expressing themselves. Their emotions weren't valid. Their parents made them feel guilty for even enjoying little things🥺. Which is why they usually leave their home and never come back.🙃

If you have aquarius moon, or a friend/someone close, with an aquarius moon, TAKE CARE OF THEM😡. They don't show emotions. They really don't. It's not that they're embarrassed, it's like, so many times when they tried, they were either made fun of (got comments like "omg you feel that way???🤣 thats so childish 🤣) or they were unheard. Alot of the times. 😔💔

Also- no matter the placement or sign or planet or whatever. If one is insecure and doesn't love themselves, they won't be in their form(the placements and planets in their chart) like for example- if someone is Capricorn sun, and had a very rough childhood, were neglected, treated badly. If they dont heal themselves, they won't be like how Capricorn is. They'll start playing mind games, will seek attention, validation, might make their friends to only talk to them. Same goes for Capricorn moons, though they have tendency to be a major narcissistic person if they don't heal themselves.

Having mars in scorpio/ 8°/ 20°, very heighten intuition. They usually avoid fights, because they can 🔪⚰️. Don't make them mad, you won't like it :). Don't lie to them. Be straightforward, even if you did something horrible. HOWEVER..... if you do then wrong........🌚🌚🌚🌚 good luck gaining their trust back🫶🏻

If you have a Capricorn friend (cap sun, moon, mercury, venus, Mars, rising, pluto) don't do them wrong. EVER. istg you'll regret it. They have this aura with them and the energy they carry, you won't get it again. I promise you that. 🚫😊

Whatever sign you have in your 7th house (tropical), you are more likely to love them. You will FEEL something for them. Like when people say "oh i cant fall in love, idk what love is" just wait until you meet that sign that is in your 7th. Especially with mars and venus, it grows even more. 😋💕

Someone's sun in your 8th, no no. Don't. They'll hurt you eventually. You will FEEL something inexplicable when you first meet them, but with time, you'll see all the red flags and their dark side. You'll end up hating them.

The sign you have in your 12th house- (if using tropical- you'll like them, but eventually end up getting irritated by them, only if it's very prominent energy like sun. (If using sidereal) you'll hate them. For example, you're an aries rising, you'll hate pisces suns, cause that's in your 12th (sidereal), if taurus rising (tropical), you'll be irritated with aries sun. But will still somehow endure their energy. ☺️(🤢)

Speaking of 12th house, be VERY VERY CAREFUL when someone's planets, doesn't matter inner or outer, majority of the times, they fuck you up mentally. Because of them you'll start having trust issues with everybody. BASTARDS💩

The moon on the day you were born on, you are kinda connected to it. It grounds you, calms you down. Your emotions are stable. Like for example- born on a waxing crescent moon, you'll feel very comfortable and safe under it. 🌛💕

Libra placements are not flakey😭😭😭, they just have this side to them where they can't seem to turn people down. Believe me they feel bad and awful when they say no💔. Because of this soft and innocent side, they usually become a doormat for people🥺. So if a libra placement rejects you, THEY FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. they'll start feeling awful within 5 mins.🥺

For my dear GEMINI MOONS, the moment you start feeling anxious about some person, leave them. Don't give it a 2nd thought, just leave. Let's say your love interest is making you feel confused, he/she is telling you that they only talk to you and shit and you see a story of them with someone else, or catch them with someone else , IF YOU FEEL IT IN YOU STOMACH, ITS REAL, THEY'RE FUCKING WITH YOUR EMOTIONS😀😀. Don't make anyone make you feel like shit. ( I recommend to smack the shit out of them or go ahead just stab them 🫶🏻 I'm with you)

Also if you're a gemini moon, and into crystals too, wear a labradorite/ rose quardz or Tigers eye. They stabilize your emotions. Don't forget to clean and charge them.

LEOS LEOS LEOSSSSSS, always give princess treatment to their close ones, their friends, their lovers, their family 🥹❤️. They're very energetic and chaotic😭💕 trust me you'll like them even if you prefer silence or quietness. (That's for the prominent Leo placements, or Leo stellium)

Sagittarius + libra placements- number 1 flirtersssssss😙 BUT but but... when they fall for someone, they forget their flirting skills, and are devoted to their love only. 🫶🏻 same goes for scorpio + libra placements.

There's a misconception about scorpios being toxic, manipulative, jealous, and controlling. They're not like that. They usually have abandonment issues, weird attachments styles where they either become anxious or avoidant. And usually it is both, first they avoid, then become anxious or vice versa. They NEED reassurance. They just wanna know you ain't playing with them🥺. That's when their jealousy and other things comes' at play. They control, so they don't get hurt. They feel veryyýýyyyyyyy deeply🥺❤️‍🔥 but if you make them feel loved, supported, validate their emotions and understand them. You'll notice, all this jealousy and controlling thing will disappear. They're ride or die fr🫶🏻🫶🏻

《~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~》

Thank you <3 😋🤪😍🤤💕❤️😙

[savannahsdeath]

hi i love your writing SO MUCH and idk if i requested this already but… do you think we can get a brothers best friend ellie?? readers brother DOES NOT want them together but they end up fucking when he’s asleep/not home. or reader goes to ellies house and eats her out while shes on call with reader’s brother?? either one is fine i would just love to see you write it

i think you requested that but i made it likee the brother didnt care so heres a second one🤭ill post the first one too tho!!

BBF!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! smut, almost getting caught

writers note: im sorry its so short whateva💔

You couldn't decide whether you like it or not.

Well, of course you did. Ellie never failed to make you feel good, her strap hitting all the right places while her hands caressed your thighs. She was rough, but not too rough. Degrading, but also praising. Basically, she was all you could ever ask for and more. What was there to hate?

But at some point, there was this little voice in your head telling you you're pathetic. Pathetic for liking this, agreeing to this and... just admiring her overall.

Because, jesus, 'she's my brother's friend. Best friend. What am I going to tell him?'

You, as the little sister, always let him insult you. Your opinion didn't matter, you gave up on trying to be important long time ago. You didn't hate him, he wasn't that bad. It was just sibling love language. He just couldn't be nice. If he knew about you and Ellie...

You were good at hiding it, though. When you first met her, you didn't believe she's really friends with your brother. Not to be mean, but you didn't thought he'll get along with someone who seems so... perfect.

'She probably has a shitty personality.'

That's how you explained their friendship. And you were terribly wrong.

After she visited your house once, she kept coming almost every day. At this point, you got used to that.

Oh, well, not exactly... There was some awkward situations, like when you exited the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around your bare skin and you saw her leaning against the handrail in the hallway. She only ruffled your hair and laughed at your embarrassment, seeing you blush and holding onto the fabric like your life depended on it. Maybe it did, actually?

It wasn't long after that before you began to wonder -'She can't be friends with my brother... can she?'- You started to notice more things - her kindness towards you, a tender touch here and there, and the way she looked at you made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. So what if she was his best friend? Would he really mind?

But what if he did? What if he found out?

Suddenly that little voice in your head was screaming louder than ever, and that feeling of shame and guilt crept up on you again.

But no matter how much of the guilt you felt, and despite the small voice in your head telling you you're pathetic, it felt right. You felt accepted. Accepted by someone who was perfect in every way. The thought of telling your brother filled you with dread, but it seemed so far away. You could figure out that little problem later, right? Just for now, you could feel a rush of emotions - mostly guilt, but also a rush of lust that made you want more.

More and more.

And she gave you more.

A quiet -'fuck'- escaped her lips as she saw your cunt throbbing against her strap. Her hands continued firmly holding you down as you didn't even bother to stay quiet. You felt so good... and so ashamed... You wanted it to stop but at the same time, you knew you'd beg for more if she would even simply slow down.

It was really your own fault.

This was the first time in ages you were left home alone, so you immediately invited Ellie over. First time you won't have to bury your face in the pillows. First time she won't have to shush you. First time you could actually do everything.

You were fighting your own thoughts, not knowing which one are the bad ones. You had no idea if you're doing the right thing. And you most definitely weren't but you were too fucked up to realize that.

Ellie chuckled, hearing your not-muffled this time sounds. "Were you always this loud? Jesus, how did we manage to keep this a secret for so long?"

The truth is, she wasn't silent herself. Fine, she wasn't a whining mess, unlike you, but still - the little 'fuck's and praises escaping her mouth weren't too quiet.

You continued squirming and whimpering about how big she is and how much it hurts, hoping it'll magically change, though you didn't really wanted it to. Or maybe you did? You weren't sure. Your mind continued the fight wether it's good or pathetic, none of the sides prevailing.

She clicked her tongue in disappointment, but her smirk told you how proud she really is. "I know, I know, so stop moving so fucking much." She said.

Her raspy, tired voice was enough to make you squirm again. You weren't used to hear it in these circumstances before, since it's obviously the first time she could speak loudly and clearly, without worrying about your brother.

"I said something, doll." Her grip on your hips hardened, almost aggressively pinning you to bed.

You heard the ring hanging near the door, meaning someone opened them. Just by footsteps you could tell it was your brother.

"Should I stop?" She asked with mock-concern and interest. You realized your answer won't change anything - maybe just the intensity of her moves, so you didn't waste your energy answering. That was a sign of your obedience and helplessness Ellie waited for. "Good girl."

She rolled you on your stomach and tangled her fingers in your hair, pressing your head into the pillow. She shoved it down with every thrust - every hit of your climax - to stop you from moaning. And of course it didn't work completely, but they faded enough to be inaudible outside the room.

She was intentionally going faster and faster. She loved playing with you, feeling the thrill of it, even though you didn't find it so amusing. You digged your nails into the tattoo on her forearm, hoping to slow her down.

"Ya know what will happen if he hears?" She didn't seem to care that your fingers were literally drawing blood from her body. "You'll handle it. Unless you want him to find out?" She whispered.

You immediately shook your head, pursing your lips and squeezing your eyes shut.

Then, your moment of focus broke as you heard knocking, on the door to your room this time.

"I'm back!" Your brother announced.

You asked him to tell you whenever he goes out or cames back, mostly so you knew if Ellie's free, since he only goes out with her. Today was the first time he went outside on his own and the poor guy had no idea she found a reason to visit your house anyway, just like he had no idea she did so even when he was home, in his room, right above yours.

The lack of response surprised him, so he knocked once more before shouting confused -'You there?'

Ellie looked down at you, daring you to answer, mouthing silent 'go on' in the most taunting voice she could.

"Yes! That's good!" Your voice was shaky and you knew he will notice.

He wasn't really caring, just curious, so he had to know everything. His first sentence sounded cute, like he really cared, but you figured out he's making fun of you as soon as you heard the other questions. "Are you crying? What, you weren't invited to some lame party? Or a boy you know for a week broke up with you?"

And what were you supposed to say? -'No, your best friend is fucking me for... probably more than an hour now, and her dick is probably bigger than yours, so I can't control my tears'

"Yeah, something lik- Oh, fuck off!" You screamed back, succeeding to pretend you're really hurt because of one of the pathetic things he accused you for.

He laughed. "Mhm- Whatever!"

The footsteps climbed up stairs and got silent. Ellie bit her bottom lip, holding back a chuckle.

"Does he really think of you so low?" Her hips slowed down again, but became more precise. "You did good, don't worry. It'll be over soon."

[querenciasturniolo]

never really over ⮕ m.s.

word count: 3.3k

warnings: swearing, angst, mention of a breakup, crying, self doubt

summary: „thought we kissed goodbye, thought we meant this time, was the last, but i guess it’s never really over”

a/n: this song played at work the other day and i started daydreaming, so here’s this LMAOOO. this song SCREAMS summer and lemme tell you, i’m so fucking sick of winter. also the picture of matt gives me heart palpitations, so enjoy.

everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.

You knew coming home this summer was a stupid idea. Standing across the bonfire, staring directly into the dimly illuminated face you hadn’t seen in person in two years, you felt as though there was a pull screaming at you to move towards him. He hadn’t seen you yet, he was too busy laughing quietly at his brothers and a friend of his you weren’t particularly close with when the two of you were together. You, on the other hand, haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of him since you’d gotten to the party half an hour ago. It felt surreal, being in his space again after so long. It felt as though it was just yesterday you had your arms wrapped around him, your tears soaking the front of his shirt as he comforted you for the last time.

It seemed the only thing you and Matt were good at was breaking up, since it happened more often than not. Every other week you would decide that you didn’t deserve Matt and the two of you would call it quits. Then, a few days later, he’d show up at your door. He wouldn’t leave until the cycle repeated itself, but you knew he’d be back. You guys were never really over, after all.

You thought the last time you two said goodbye truly was the last time, considering you were going off to college and he was staying with his brothers to continue their YouTube career. You always knew he’d make it. Matt and his brother’s were the most genuine people you’d ever met, and it always transferred over into their videos. You watched them periodically while you were away at college, when missing him hurt so bad that you knew if you didn’t alleviate it somehow, you’d call him, and you couldn’t do that to him. The two of you promised each other that the last time was the last time, to keep the both of you from hurting each other. But seeing him only thirty feet away from you had your skin crawling in a familiar way you hadn’t felt in years.

“Who are you staring at?”

You jumped and whipped your head to the side, sighing and shaking your head when you met Nate’s eyes.

“Nothing, Nate. No one.” You said, clearing your throat and not letting your stare flicker back to Matt. You watched in horror as Nate’s eyebrows furrowed and he tracked your previous gaze until realization spread across his face.

“Matt, huh?” He asked, his voice casual as he slowly met your eyes. You hated the look on his face. It was almost as if he pitied you and your pathetic staring, which you couldn’t blame him. You scoffed and shook your head.

“No, I’m clearly staring at Dylan. What do you think?” You asked sarcastically, running a hand over your face to try and hide your embarrassment. You knew he meant well, but everyone always meant well, and they made you feel insane. They all had the same silent question; why couldn’t you just let him go? It’s been two fucking years, why did looking at him now feel the same as it did then? Your chest ached with how hard your heart was pumping against your ribcage. Goosebumps stayed prominent on every inch of your body just knowing he was so close to you. “I’m sorry, Nate. That was rude.” You said softly, moving your hand and sighing into the cool evening air.

Nate didn’t seem to take it to heart, he never really did. He was there for the entirety of your relationship with Matt, and unfortunately, he was one of the only few people who witnessed the aftermath. He’d answer your midnight texts, and when you were in town during breaks that first year of college, he’d pick you up from your house at three in the morning just for the two of you to drive around and blast music to keep your mind from racing.

“It’s been hard for him too.” He said, which was not at all what you were expecting him to say. You met his eyes with furrowed brows, though not a single one of his tells was showing. It was still hard to believe, considering how much of a mess you were when you went off to college and Matt moved to LA. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you processed what he said, your heart telling you he’s genuine, but your mind telling you he’s just trying to make you feel better.

“What makes you say that?” You asked, your voice almost breathless as Nate scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

“Oh, I dunno. Maybe the fact that I’ve known the kid for forever and we talk every single day.” He stated, your features dropping into a blank stare as he shook his head and glanced back over in Matt’s direction. You couldn’t bring yourself to look that way again, otherwise you’d be walking towards him immediately. “You’re allowed to talk to him, you know?” He said after a short while, meeting your eyes again with a soft smile. You knew he meant well, and you knew he was right, but the thought of walking over to Matt and him not wanting to talk to you had you shaking your head fervently.

“I know I can, but I also can’t. Besides, he doesn’t want to talk to me.” You said, your eyes flickering over in Matt’s direction once more. He was gone from his spot, Nick and Chris and the friend you couldn’t think of were still talking away as you furrowed your brows.

“Who doesn’t want to talk to you?”

You froze in place, your chest warming and your body relaxing the moment his voice washed over you completely. When you turned around, it felt as though a swarm of butterflies were flying behind your ribcage and hitting every single corner and bouncing off. There was no doubt in your mind he could hear it, no matter how impossible that seemed. Your eyes met the familiar cool blue, and you were back in every single moment you’d spent with him. He was smiling the same smile he always gave you, his eyes crinkling slightly as they flickered over your more than likely shocked face.

“How have you been?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more as you fought your useless brain to say something—anything to him.

“I’ve been alright.” You finally said, your heart hammering in your chest as your own lips stretched into a smile against your will. You couldn’t help it, he always had that effect on you. “What about you?”

Matt sighed through his nose, his shoulders dropping a few centimeters as the two of you began to fully relax again in each other’s presence. “I’ve been okay.” He said breathily, his eyebrows twitching inward as he studied you. “Were you talking about me to Nate?” He asked, the slightest hint of teasing in his voice. You snickered and shook your head, dropping your eyes to the grass below you.

“You were listening?” You teased back, lifting your head again. You couldn’t meet his eyes, so you studied his shirt. It was a simple flannel, similar to the one most of the guys at the bonfire were wearing to keep warm on this chilly Boston night. He grinned and nodded his head, dropping his eyes to his shoes right as you felt brave enough to look at him.

“Can you blame me?” He asked, his eyes meeting yours once more through his eyelashes. Your breath caught in your throat. That familiar pull was working against you without you realizing it, the space between the two of you had dwindled enough that you could feel the heat from his body, you could see the push and pull of his breaths and the rise and fall of his chest. Fuck, you missed him.

“How’s Los Angeles?” You asked dumbly, wanting to smack yourself as he inhaled softly and shrugged.

“Warm, sunny, crazy.” He mumbled. There was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite place, and it was driving you nuts. Two years ago you’d be able to tell what he was thinking just by the way he breathed, but you were out of practice. “How’s college?” He countered. You shrugged in return, a playful smile forming on your lips.

“Stressful, expensive, exhausting.” You said. Matt rolled his eyes and shook his head. His eyes were nothing but fond as they scanned over your face slowly. A million thoughts were racing through your mind at once, but all you could do was keep looking at him like it was the last time you ever would.

The two of you were silent for only a few heartbeats, the both of you just basking in the other’s presence for the first time since that last goodbye. He was the first to speak, and it took everything in you not to fall into his arms at the warmth and sincerity in his voice.

“I missed you.” His voice was only a few decibels above a whisper, but those three words were screaming in your mind the moment they left his mouth. You weren’t the only one wanting, yearning, wishing, hoping, praying, waiting. He missed you. He missed you. Your composure crumbled slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile sadly at him.

“Fuck.” You whispered, running your hands over your face and closing your eyes. “I missed you, too.” You said. Before you could open your eyes, you were pulled into his arms and against his chest. You couldn’t believe you were worried about the beating of your own heart as you listened to the rapid thumping of his against your ear. Like it was second nature, you wrapped your arms around his neck and stood on your toes to fully embrace him like you used to. Your face rested in the crook of his neck, the skin warm against the chilled tip of your nose.

He felt the same—the same warm chest and tight arms making you feel safe, the same familiar scent of vanilla bourbon soap and laundry detergent with the smallest hint of campfire, the same gentle movement of his thumb lightly caressing your back. You relaxed completely against him, his grip on you the only thing keeping you from sliding down his body and laying limp in the grass. He was so familiar, so comfortable, so fucking safe that you never wanted your embrace to end.

“Matty?” You asked, a shiver running down his spine when the warm breath from your lips puffed against his skin. He hummed in reply, swaying softly with you to the quiet music playing from someone’s car speakers. “This is gonna fuck everything up for us, isn’t it?” He didn’t pull away from you, like you expected. He didn’t stiffen either, which was odd. His lips pressed lightly against the top of your head, a soft sigh leaving your lips as you somehow relaxed further.

“I don’t care.” He whispered. You pulled back to meet his eyes, your pulse deafening in your ears as you searched for anything on his face that wasn’t sincere. Matt never broke eye contact with you, a small smile forming on his lips. “I’m being serious. These last two years have fucking sucked, and I don’t care if we fuck it up because I missed you. Can we forget about saying goodbye, just tonight?” He asked. He sounded almost breathless, begging you for just one night together like old times.

Before you could say anything, his eyes were flickering to your lips and he was leaning in. You gasped lightly, his lips barely brushing against yours as your eyes fluttered closed. Warmth completely enveloped you the moment you tightened your arms around his neck and closed the space between the two of you, the cool summer night completely forgotten as your fingers tangled in his hair and scratched lightly at his scalp.

You’d forgotten what it was like to kiss him, you’d forgotten how he’d hold the back of your neck with one hand and grip your waist with the other like his life depended on it, no matter how gentle the kiss was. It drove you wild every time, your body feeling like it was on fire as he pulled you impossibly closer to him. His kiss was gentle, soft, full of passion and yearning, yet rough, hard and full of tension and desperation. You could feel the pain he’d felt the last two years with each soft brush of his tongue against yours, and it took everything in you not to break down in tears mid kiss. Your Matty was back, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go again, even though you knew you had to.

When the two of you pulled a part for air, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with soft, gasping breaths leaving your lips. Matt’s eyes remained closed, his eyebrows furrowed tightly. He looked…miserable, and you hated it. You untangled your hands from his hair, one of your palms resting against his chest while your other hand reached up and cupped his cheek softly. Your thumb caressed the crease between his eyebrows until he relaxed, finally opening his eyes to meet yours. Every single bit of anguish you’d felt for the last two years was written all over his face. It was etched into the lines by his eyes, the twitching corners of his mouth, and it was glimmering in the cool blue of his iris’. He was in as much pain as you’d been in, and it made you want to scream.

“Did you stop loving me?” Matt asked, his voice thick and raspy. You inhaled sharply, your own brows furrowing.

“Matty, I—”

“Just.” He interrupted, exhaling deeply through his nose and looking into the flames of the fire rippling a few feet to your left. “Just answer the question, please.” He didn’t return his gaze to yours, no matter how badly you wanted him to look into your eyes and see the answer screaming out at him from your heart. You fish-mouthed for a few seconds before taking a deep, shaky breath and closing your eyes.

“I don’t think I could ever forgive myself if I stopped loving you.” You said, Matt’s gaze finally returning to yours. You smiled brokenly, letting your eyes well with the hot tears you’d been fighting since seeing him and his brothers the second you looked across the fire. Your hands clenched into fists in his flannel, your body desperate for him to stay close to you. “Loving you…fuck, loving you was the best thing I’ve ever done, even if it went up in flames. It made every argument, every bad day, every break up and reconnection worth it. I didn’t think it was possible, and I thought I was doing so well getting over you, but I love you just as much as I did the day we broke up for the last time. And it’s okay if you stopped loving me completely, because I can understand how you could.” You whispered the last few words, closing your eyes and letting the depth of your words fall over the two of you. You dropped your head, sniffling to yourself and trying to pull yourself together before you made a mess of things again.

Matt’s fingers lightly gripping your chin had a shaky exhale leaving your lips as he lifted your head. Your eyelids fluttered open, the tip of his nose almost touching yours with how close the two of you still were. His tongue peaked out to wet his lips and he opened his mouth to speak as his grip moved from your chin to his hand cupping your jaw and holding it firmly.

“The one thing I didn’t miss was the lack of faith you had in yourself being loveable.” He said clearly, firmly, matter-of-factly. He’d told you a million times before that there was absolutely no reason for him not to love you, but you never stopped looking for that one reason to present to him. “I have loved you so completely, so wholly, so entirely since the day I met you, and the day we said goodbye. You were and are the last person I think of when I fall asleep, and the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning. For so long, you were the only person I wanted to be around, and the only person I knew that I couldn’t live without.” He said, your eyes wide as you stared up at his smug face with a slack jaw.

“The fact that I came back each and every time you looked me in my face and tore my heart out of my chest, still wanting and needing to be a part of you and your life should show how much I loved and still love you. If you can’t see how deep my love for you is, then I truly don’t know what we were doing in the first place.” He finished, the tears that had welled in your eyes had begun to fall, Matt smiling softly down at you as his thumb tenderly swiped the tears away. “Don’t cry, baby. I was only telling you the truth. I’m just glad that it seems now you finally choose to believe it.”

You sniffled and shook your head up at him, not understanding how only a short time ago you were staring at him from across a bonfire, absolutely petrified of him seeing you and not being interested enough to even wave, and here you were. You were standing in his arms, only a few feet away from the fire, listening to him tell you that all of your sleepless nights full of tossing and turning, overthinking, watching him and his brothers’ videos on YouTube for some semblance of normalcy, he was missing you and loving you just as much as you were him. You couldn’t help but smile up at him and pull him closer to you, wrapping him in the tightest hug you could manage. You wanted it to feel the way his words made you feel, warm and safe and protected and loved. So fucking loved that you could hardly stand it.

“What does this mean, Matty?” You whispered against his shoulder. He sighed into your hair, his grip around your waist tightening as he shook his head.

“Just enjoy the moment, baby. We’ll talk about that later.” He mumbled, pulling away from the hug to press a kiss to your forehead, cheek, and then pressing his lips firmly to yours. It was only a firm peck, and he pulled away. “Watch the fireworks with me?” He asked. You nodded your head and turned around, letting him press himself against your back and wrap his arms around you like he’d done a million times before. His chin rested against your shoulder, and you leaned your head slightly to the side to rest your temple against his as the first firework shot into the sky. Each and every breath you took, you breathed him in, not wanting this moment to end.

It was possible that by the end of the night, the two of you would go your separate ways and leave one another again for an indefinite amount of time, or maybe even continue your cycle from two years ago. But it was also possible that the two of you would start something new, maybe change the cycle and make sure it wasn’t repeated again. You had a feeling it was one of the latter two options.

After all, you two were never really over.

tags: @strniolo , @ssturniolo , @thetriplets3 , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @toyourloves , @lvrsparadise , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @jellybeanbby , @idontexistman , @emssturniolo , @soursturniolo , @bernardenjoyer , @ev3rgreenxtrees , @reveriewave , @mxqdii , @leah-loves-lilies , @mattsnutsack , @champangekisses , @floofparker

[jade-jini]

imagine loser g!p yunjin…

(These pics came to save my writer block)

Imagine? I breathe for every word in that sentence anon😭. You get me too well we should kiss anyway.

Loser Yunjin who made you fall for her with her silly jokes and pickup lines and loud personality😭 Yunjin is part of the loser puppy line (yes with minjeong) so you know she gets excited easily. Girlie is loud. Even at lunch time where is crowded af you can easily tell whose loud ass laugh is that. That kept catching your attention, until you recognized her in one of your classes and for some reason couldn’t stop looking at her.

Oh but Yunjin? No she’s noticed you since day 1. Not only noticed you but she fell HARD. She had Sakura already tired ‘cause of how much she’d talk about you. She has dreamy eyes and a dreamy smile just mentioning something you did, something as simple as “today the professor asked a question and nobody knew. Well, I did, but then- KKURA LISTEN! But then y/n raised her hand really fast! And her answer was even more correct than my answer!”

“How is it more correct if you had the same answer Yunjin—”

“IT WAS MORE CORRECT OK? IT WAS PERFECT! She is perfect :(”. Loser. Loser and simp.

Whenever you walk into the room her friends would tell her and she’d go from playing around recreating this fight scene she saw while playing genshin to just quickly shutting up and be like 🧍🏻‍♀️pretending she was all well behaved and cool but it was too late you saw the whole thing ndkdjdj. She got so embarrassed but you thought it was cute 😭 you’d exchange a few words from time to time but nothing too serious, and she always had either a silly joke or a “pickup line” that was so bad it made you laugh every time. Yunjin in her brain be like: I failed successfully :D!

One day tho some mf saw the way she’d stare at you and told her somebody like you would never even look at a loser like her in that way :( poor baby got so sad that day but plot twist! You started playing genshin ‘cause of her 🥺, favorite character being Yunjin Ofc for obvious reasons (when you told her she blushed so hard ‘cause you winked at her and everything nsjdncjf) and that’s how you started talking to her, asking her questions that you could totally figure out by yourself but shush you needed an excuse to talk to the cute nerdy loser in your program.

I feel like I already talked a lot 💀 so I won’t make it too long explaining exactly how you started dating (here it is!). So now the smut part uhuhu.

Since you bonded well ‘cause of genshin, you’d have a lot of play dates. Sometimes tho, you prefer to watch your gf playing sitting on her lap. At first it was cute, but she moves so much when playing, and you and her dick noticed it before her brain did “... Yun is your mic off?” “Yes baby, why? Hmm? Where are you go—” And before she can process it you’re already on your knees sucking her cock and moaning ‘cause Omg doesn’t it taste and feels amazing in your mouth?? Also thank god you checked if her mic was off because she let out the loudest moan. remember I said she was loud? Yeah it continues here bro. You looked up at her and she was so ready to forget the game and concentrate on only you but you stopped her from getting up and told her to finish playing.

“H-how am I supposed to c - oh fuck ~ concentrate when you’re doing that??…” she said while “complaining” but in the end, obeyed. it was so hard to focus tho, when you kept swirling your tongue around her tip, giving her those hungry sexy eyes that made her whimper every time she looked down at you “Ah! y/n ~ that’s so good baby…”.

She LOVES when you ride her when she’s playing. Being balls deep inside you the moment she wins a match in a game? What’s better than that?! Nothing. “I WON AGAIN YES!” She’d celebrate and get so excited she’d just grab you like you weigh nothing and either pin you against the wall, her desk, the bed Idk anywhere and she’ll fuck you sooo good with the biggest smile. When she gets frustrated or loses tho, you know damn right she’ll grab those hips and make you jump on her dick so hard, relieving her frustration on your pussy (she can use me like this I don’t mind-) and she won’t slow down until the pleasure is bigger than her anger. “Holy fuck Yunjin..!” “That’s for killing me when we were in the same team.” and that’s something you did last week Tf 😭

As I said she gets excited but not only on a daily basis with stuff she likes, she gets hard sooo easily and it’s fun to tease. You’re straddling her, grinding on her lap, teasing her about how hard she got just by kissing and she’d try to come up with something to tease you back but her brain is off because of how good you feel doing that and because she’s a loser “w-well my dick is bigger than yours!” Like ??? Yeah it is bro it is 😭 you just laugh making her embarrassed. “well yes, yes it is baby. And I love it” you’d say and she’d just blush and go back to kiss you neidjdq.

But she’s also so sweet :( you’d tell her you missed her and she’d softly say “I missed you too y/n…” while hugging you by the waist tightly, and leaving a little kiss on your nose. (Random cutie moment sorry I felt like it 🧍🏻‍♀️).

Oh yeah! Yunjin loveeees kisses. She’s always all over you kissing your face, your hands, your neck and shoulders and back when is exposed, and the rest of your body when is just you and her 🙊. She loves praising you by doing this. And she LOVES when you do it back. A sad day gets better the moment she sees you and you leave a kiss in her forehead (istg her tail goes brrr and she shows that perfect teeth smile).

She loves when you go from her neck to her chest to her stomach to between her legs. When you leave kisses and little bites on her thighs, and shower her cock with kisses that come with a little whimper every time. She finds it as sexy as it is cute too. You for sure have several pics of her dick with lipstick prints.

Cockwarming? Yes. But with her, this is a way of teasing YOU. It’s the only way she knows 😭 I’ll explain. Trying to overstimulate her does NOT work ‘cause her stamina and sex drive are HIGH. If you get tired when riding her be sure that she’ll grab your thighs and pound you fast and hard. She can go for hours, in different positions, never running out of cum.

“Yunjin.. please I can’t feel my legs”

“Hmmgh just one more.. feels so good, need to come in your pretty pussy..” she says as if she didn’t come in it so much already that even your floor is full of it ‘cause of how much it’s dripping down your legs. But you cant say no to her :( her cock feels too good you could die the happiest as long as it’s deep inside you <333.

Pussy drunk Yunjin? Uh yes FUCK YES. She can eat you out for HOURS. And not just ‘cause she loveees to make you feel good but it’s for her own pleasure too that woman just loves the way you tastes and how you make a mess in her mouth when you come. You’re the one ending up overstimulated ‘cause her mouth is Fuckin attached to your pussy like she’d die without it. “Just one more, for me baby please~” and ughhh there she has you coming for The Who knows what’th time already. Random but she’s 0 dom most of the time (I’d call her a service switch) all silly 😭

“Good girl, hehe.”

“Shut up and come kiss me.”

Just as she asks for “one more” in bed she also does it after it when you guys are cuddling and resting and pampering each other 🥺 in the morning when you both have to get ready she’d pull you back to bed “baby we have class in 30 minutes” “just 5 more minutes, please~” “I don’t wanna fail class Jen!” “I’ll do all your homework let’s just cuddle a little moreee~” and how to say no to that (the cuddles I mean-) lets bfr you can’t. You just can’t.

I’m genuinely so in love with her like y’all don’t understand. I could fantasize about her all day. Thank you anon I love my girlie so much <3

[elliespassagerprincess]

Hi okay so hear me out , fem reader x mean Ellie, so the reader feels insecure about her looks and ellie seems tired of it and straps the reader in front of the mirror to prove how pretty the reader is , making the reader look at theirself and mean Ellie slaps the reader if they ever disagrees or look away

Pretty girl - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon, fuck yes this is fr Ellie coded. And also just a warning I suck with writing smut so i'm sorry if it's bad.... i hope you enjoy

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are open again! send me your silly thoughts:)

warnings: 18+ MDI, slapping, strap usage (r receiving), insecurities, kinda mean ellie, mirrior sex

Summary: in which she showed her girl how pretty she really is

authors note: ugh it feels so good to be back, i have 12 drafts so be ready yall and also new gore fics coming soon because... live laugh love gore

masterlist

"take it" she said through gritted teeth as you felt her pound into you.

"I'm sorry" you cried through broken sobs.

You knew it was your fault. You knew you were the one that yourself into this position.

You and Ellie sat on the couch earlier that day, it was peaceful, the two of you silently sitting together.

A tiktok video landed on your fyp and you couldn't help but rewatch it over and over again.

She was so fucking pretty. She was everything you weren't.

It made you sick to your stomach.

Your gaze fell to Ellie as you imagined her with this girl. They'd make such a good couple, like those couples they put on the front page of magazines.

You wondered what Ellie thought when she saw girls like these on her fyp.

Does she wish you were someone different?

"Baby?" You felt her cold hand on your thigh, as she gave you light squeeze.

"Are you ok? You've been watching the same video over and over again" She asked with concern.

"Yeah" you replied hesitantly.

"I was just thinking"

"thinking of?"

You let out a sigh as you turned away from Ellie, you felt embarrassed to admit this.

"Well she's so... she's so pretty" you started.

You gave your phone to Ellie and you watched as she looked at the girl.

"I'm not that pretty, and I wish I looked like that honestly"

"what did you just say?"

You weren't supposed to answer her question. You weren't supposed to say anything.

But you did.

You fucking answered her.

"I wish I was as pretty as her" you said softly, you felt her eyes burning holes into the side of your face.

You missed the way Ellies jaw ticked, you missed the way the frown deepened on her face, you missed the way her eye twitched.

The girl she loved the most was insulting herself and it broke Ellie's heart.

She wished you saw yourself the way she saw you.

The only thing she could do was to show her girl how pretty she fucking was.

Now here you were, on your knees in front of Ellie's massive mirror.

The rug on the floor was burning into the palms of your hands and knees, tears were streaming down your face, and drool fell from your lips. Your ass stung and your cheeks were red from where Ellie slapped you repeatedly.

She wad ruthless with her pace, not giving you time to think.

She was fucking you stupid.

"C'mon baby" she said out of breath

"tell me how fucking pretty you are" she pinched your nipple and you let out a squeal

"Ellie please"

you felt her hand harshly hit your cheek, you moaned at the stinging feeling it left behind.

"i said tell me how fucking pretty you are" she repeated herself.

She was getting impatient. You could feel it in her pace.

"I'm pretty" another slap fell onto your cheek

"I didn't hear you"

her thrusts got harder. faster.

god you felt her in your stomach.

"im pretty!" You repeated louder.

"Now look at yourself in the mirror when you say it"

you slowly looked up into the mirror taking in your appearance.

You looked fucked.

You looked up at Ellie and there was a proud smirk on her face as she looked at where you and her strap were connected.

"Talk baby, or you won't cum" she said before slowing down .

You let out a scream of frustration, and she giggled.

She fucking giggled.

"please- I'll say it, but please don't stop" you begged.

A fresh coat of tears covered your face.

You were fucking pathetic.

Ellie picked up her pace and you moaned with relief.

"talk" was all she said.

You made eye contact with yourself in the mirror, your mouth fell open, and your eyes rolled to the back of your yeah.

She made you feel so fucking good.

"I'm the- the p-prettiest girl alive"

"that's my fucking girl"

She sped up, you weren't sure how she managed to, but she did. Her fingers roughly met your clit and you moaned at her touch.

You felt something build in your lower stomach. You were so fucking close.

"Ellie" you whimpered

"I know pretty girl, it feels good... c'mon let it out" she spoke to you so gently, like you were the most fragile thing ever.

But in reality she was fucking you senseless, but you loved every fucking second of it. She rubbed your clit for a few more seconds before you felt something snap inside of you.

You moaned loudly, and your body started shaking.

"there you go... my pretty girl" Ellie muttered on top of you as you came down from your high.

You both were breathing heavily, and you made eye contact with your girl through the mirror.

"Hi" you said with a shy smile. All Ellie did was smile back before you felt her move her cock at a steady rhythm once again.

"Ellie" you said softly, as you hissed at the feeling still sensitive from your last orgasm.

"I wasn't done with you, we still have a lot to learn.." she spoke as she thrusted into once again

"now look yourself in the mirror and repeat after me... 'I am the prettiest girl alive"

[lizardaggro]

on the flip side (twst bully!au) pt 3

here we are, the long-awaited (it was literally like 1 day) part 3!! i wanted to declare on one of the actual chapters since those get seen by the most people that I DID NOT MAKE THIS AU, credit i believe goes to @azulsluver. i swear i don't hate you guys, leaving everything on a cliffhanger, but the good news is i have a lot of time on my hands due to chronic illness so i can update super often. also i gave up on the purple theme on posts bc tumblr hates me and always leaves the end of the word count black.

part 1 part 2

genre: gn reader, angst trigger warnings: bullying, mild yandere (will be escalating throughout the series, but no non-con) word count: 1246

You couldn’t really afford to space out and think about it though, not when he was right in front of you. Riddle tapped his foot impatiently, clearly irate at your lack of response. “Well?” He asked. “Do you not even have anything to say in your defense?”

Oh dear. However were you supposed to get rid of him when he was so intent on getting some sort of answer out of you? You had no idea what he wanted! He was more difficult to threaten, too, since you’d made up your mind that you didn’t want to be like your tormentors and completely ruin others’ lives. No, your end goal was just to make them leave you alone. After everything you’d been through, you really didn’t want to see them again.

It might seem strange to some people, that you weren’t dead set on destroying any semblance of normalcy they once had. You had all the ammunition you needed, of course. The Overblot victims would be the easiest to topple, considering what they’d done in and leading up to that state. But you didn’t think you were a particularly vengeful person; at least, you didn’t want to be. Crowley had always said that you must’ve been sent here to get his precious students to work together, so clearly you weren’t like them.

“I never asked for this, Riddle. Any of this. So if you think somewhere in your fucked-up mentality that you’re doing me some sort of favor, you’re dead wrong,” you intoned. Indeed, even though you just wanted them gone, you missed the days when you were all friends. Back when you thought everyone had your back no matter what. Oh, if only you knew what they’d do for you. It wouldn’t be hard at all to push some of the more unstable students over the edge. Those who felt they didn’t have anyone else. Much like a certain dragon fae who never did seem to get invited to things.

Riddle looked like he was about to say something, but before he could, he was drenched by a great torrential rain. Where did that come from? Didn’t the forecast say it was supposed to be clear skies and sunny for the rest of the week? Your question was soon answered, as you had two more visitors.

“Silver? Sebek? What brings you here?” You inquired, not at all amused. When those two showed up at the same time, it could only mean one thing, and it wasn’t good. Riddle looked like he had caught on as well, since he stepped in front of you, as if that would do any good.

“LORD MALLEUS REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE!!” Sebek boomed. You’d made progress on his volume in the past, so you were sure he did it just to annoy you. Silver just stared. He always stared, you felt like. Sometimes you swore you could feel his eyes on you even when he was nowhere to be found.

“Oh, gee, I wonder what that’s about,” you snarked. “Poor little princey-poo doesn’t want his embarrassing little secrets getting out? Well you can tell him to fuck off.” You must’ve been feeling especially brave, since normally you knew that defying Malleus Draconia was as good as a death sentence. He wasn’t even that bad, compared to some of the others. He just… locked you in his room and made you listen to him talk, with no room to get a word in edgewise. He’d go on and on about one thing or another for HOURS, with no regard for your schedule or your bodily needs. Clearly fae had a different sense of time than most.

It was the loss of control over your own life that you hated; that, and that if he really still considered you a friend, he never bothered to do anything about your bullies. You knew he was more than capable; you’d witnessed his strength firsthand on multiple occasions. You didn’t know what his endgame was, and frankly you were too scared to find out. He could trap you there forever and you wouldn’t be able to do a single thing about it.

Sebek was not amused. He raised an arm, likely to strike you, but Silver placed a hand on it, effectively stopping him. “Don’t. You wouldn’t want Lord Malleus to see a bruise on them,” he reasoned. You didn’t get it. Since when would he care? Sebek roughly shoved Riddle out of the way, despite all his objections, and nonchalantly slung you over his shoulder.

“What the hell?!” You screeched, pounding your fists on his back. “Put me down! I’m not going!” You weren’t sure why you were objecting so vehemently; this time wasn’t any different than the others. But something about the dark gray clouds pouring rain on what should’ve been a lovely day just told you that this was not going to be good.

But alas, your plight was ignored. The three of you made your way to Diasomnia in silence. No one bothered to stop and stare in the halls, as you being carried off by people was somewhat of a normal occurrence. You could swear Savannahclaw and Diasomnia even had some sort of twisted capture-the-flag game going, for whatever reason.

When you entered the gothic-style castle, you were greeted by none other than Lilia. Much like Malleus, he’d never bothered you too terribly, only engaging in less-than-welcome pranks. You knew he was far older than he let on, so you supposed he didn’t see the point in such childish endeavors. There was, however, one thing you feared about the man: his cooking, which he tried to shove down your throat at every opportunity. How Silver grew up healthy you’d never know.

And so, of course, you were greeted by a plate of… well, goop, to put it nicely. “Here, have a seat, dear, I made lasagna,” Lilia offered with what you assumed was supposed to be a warm smile. To you in that moment, with the fumes starting to reach your nose, it looked like a shit-eating grin.

“I’ll pass, thanks. That is to say, I’d rather die than eat that shit, because it looks and smells like it’ll send me straight to hell,” you deadpanned. Sebek let out an unholy screech and started ranting about how dare you refuse Lord Lilia, even though you knew he wouldn’t want to eat it either. You did your best to tune him out. Silver looked relieved, surprisingly enough. You supposed he was able to empathize since he grew up eating the stuff.

Luckily for you, Lilia just sighed and walked off, taking his culinary abomination with him. The three of you who remained shared a look. “How are you still alive after all these years?” You asked Silver. He shrugged. If even he didn’t know, you’d just call it a miracle.

“SILVER, QUIT FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY! LORD MALLEUS IS WAITING!” Sebek practically screamed in your ear. You really wished he would stop doing that. But you had more important things to worry about, like your impending death by dragon fae. Once you arrived at Malleus’s room, Sebek set you down and pushed you inside. You heard the lock click behind you. You gulped, feeling the pressure of being alone in a room with a presumably angry and very powerful mage. You looked up to see a pair of emerald eyes staring you down. Oh boy, this was not going to be fun.

taglist: @twistedcece @slxt4h1m @teawhere @pleasehugmeaether @reivelmin @aoiyx

[slutt4ellie]

Summer Blossoms

PT3 - Veil Of Petals

masterlist

PART 1 // PART 2 // PART 4

Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.

Summery -> You and Ellie were now under the same impression, you’re friends once again, the rough patch of your friendship now supposedly over..if only it was that easy!

This chapter contains -> Heavy with internalized homophobia / A lot of this part is in Reads POV / Angst / Jealous!Reader finally makes an appearance / Cat also makes an appearance 🌚 / Cat and Ellie sorta have a thing / No established relationship but ig it’s implied / Denying of feelings / I describe readers clothing once / Kissing / Lots of confusion / Tensionnnnnnn / They’re both convinced that feelings aren’t reciprocated / Eventual smut! / (Lmk if I missed anything!!!) /

WC : 8k

(Not proofread)

You were desperate. 

You knew you put the nail in the coffin with Ellie.

You could easily sense how the atmosphere between you two changed. Sure you were “friends,” on good pages, but you both felt it. It couldn’t help but feel like the two of you were actively stepping over broken glass at the hands of you. 

You shattered that previous connection as soon as you yelled at Ellie. Agreeing with what the party attendees said, what Jack said. And you wanted so bad to think that maybe a part of that freakout was indeed valid. That the whole situation was the fault of Ellie. But it was just a shitty excuse, something to cover how you actually felt about her. A feeling that you aren’t sure you’ve ever truly had. I mean, the last thing you wanted to admit is that maybe you’ve fallen for a girl.

So you yelled at her without a second thought; you made her feel stupid, gross, like she was the problem. Because to you, that felt easier, far easier than accepting that maybe you not pulling back from her that night, letting your lips rest on her pale skin, mumbling that you were okay with what was playing out actually fucking meant something- 

You genuinely just wanted to ignore that there was a chance it wasn’t all on her. And you knew why. You knew that she was different; from the little moments where she would smile at something you said, it was embarrassing how fast your heart would suddenly increase in pace. Or when her touch would linger, and coincidentally you were hyperaware of anything and everything around you...

You’d like to think you’re not dumb, but it shouldn’t have taken Ellie assuring you that she didn’t see you that way, confirming to your face that she never actually had feelings for you, adding on how you were just her best friend; her uttering those sentences shouldn’t have made you realize that a friend wasn't all she was. It was laughable, because really, how was that the night where it clicked? You genuinely couldn’t wrap your head around that being the moment where you realized you liked Ellie. It was ridiculous.

And now, you’re coming to the realization that the Ellie you liked, that version of her, was gone. And the worst part was it wasn’t in the form of her being a dick or ignoring you. She never deliberately treated you differently. She was just more aware of how you two acted together. She didn’t lie on your bedroom floor, peeking over your shoulder to get a glance of your book. Rather, she stayed on your bed. 

Late nights filled with laughs, and often drives also stopped, and even if you wanted to, you couldn’t even fucking blame her. Ellie stopped making that effort, and in all honesty, you did too. It was a tremendous shift from the beginning of your friendship, which once felt so light, now felt extremely forced. Like you were trying to fix a broken piece of glass, it was impossible to hide those shatters.

Because fuck, it was to the point where the only time you guys would actually hang out was when Joel would come over to see your father. 

It was like she’d be scared to be in your personal space again, and even though you knew Ellie would never tell you, you were fully aware that the outcome of your friendship was your fault. And you weren’t even sure if you could fix it. 

You have a little over a month to spend at your dad's place, and then, soon enough, you’d go back home to your mom's, prepared to pack your bags and leave for college. And it was like a polar opposite from when you first arrived, because despite being desperate in the beginning to leave, you wanted nothing more than to have more time. Try to mend whatever you broke. Yet time was ticking, and you can’t stop the inevitable. You were sure to be leaving soon.

As you are lying on your bed, your mind racing with a billion different thoughts, the faint sound of a yell is heard echoing from downstairs. You sigh and sit up, pushing your palms against your mattress. You’re not even sure if you heard correctly. 

Much to your dismay, soon enough there was a swing of the door, and your father walked in with a bright smile displayed all over his face. “Do I have to get a megaphone for you?” He chuckles, his voice a little strained. 

A dry chuckle leaves your lips, quickly having them curl into a smile. With a light shake of your head, you respond, “No?” You pause and swing your legs over the edge of your bed; you talk as you rise to your feet. “What's up?” 

“Joel and Ellie are coming over today.” He pauses and then continues. “For dinner—and, uh, when Ellie gets here, I just need you two to swing by the grocery store and get some food.” He smiles thoughtfully.

You hate how this one sentence has your body flooding with anxiety; obviously, you’re aware of how you and Ellie have hung out after the lake house; you just didn’t want to be trapped in a car with her…! You can already picture the awkward silence, both of you getting rather quiet in uncomfortable situations. And your silence leaves your dad confused; he awkwardly clears his throat before speaking up, eyes on you. “Does that work on your schedule?” He jokes, offering a different manner. Thankfully, it does help cloud your worries to a certain extent. 

You just nod, a light laugh leaving your lips. “Yes—yeah, sorry, I was just thinking.” You smile at him before turning around to make your bed. Your best attempt to clean up your room before Ellie gets here. It’s also the moment where your smile instantly fades. 

Your dad has noticed a shift in your behaviour since the two of you came back from Joel's lake house. Probably even before that. 

Sure he was aware of how yours and Ellie’s hangouts suddenly stopped, of course being before your father dragged you to the lake house. It was extremely sudden; like as soon as Ellie left Joel sleeping at your house alone, her truck gone, was the same moment where your demeanour changed. Both of yours for that matter. Because of course he saw how you guys talked again after that lake house, but it wasn’t the same. You were far more distant with each other, Ellie only coming when Joel would be there to hang out with him. And he couldn’t pinpoint why. He just wasn't quite sure why the only person you’ve met since you arrived at his farmhouse is now the one he rarely sees you with. 

It was truly like your mind always has something going on inside of it. Zoning out was now a regular thing with you; every so often, in the middle of a conversation, it’s like the gears inside your brain jammed, like you were experiencing a feeling of mystification. 

But unfortunately, your dad being your dad, he just doesn’t think to mention it. He can only assume you're nervous about leaving your mom to go to college. Dwelling on it. And fuck, how you wish that was all it was.

Roars from outside catch your attention; the distinct sound of a truck pulling up is a telltale sound that Ellie and Joel are here. Your dad faces your back as you make your bed; regardless, he still talks. “Looks like they’re here!” He says feet trailing outside your bedroom. Quickly hearing how the creaks of the floorboards make their way downstairs. 

And as soon as your dad is gone, you shut your door and grab an outfit from your dresser, throwing it on as you try your best to fix your messy hair, hoping it now falls along the lines of being decently presentable. And you’re about to head downstairs, opening your bedroom door in preparation, but you stop. Though you can’t actually understand what they’re saying, there are three voices. Joel's, Ellies. And one extra. I mean, you didn’t think you were going crazy, but you were almost sure you heard an additional voice, a woman’s to be exact. It sounded soft, less raspy if anything, that being a clear distinction that it wasn’t Ellies.

And sure enough, you got further confirmation when you trailed downstairs. A woman was standing right beside Ellie. She seemed maybe a year or two older than you; she had tattoos trailing all over her arms and dark eyes, paired with raven hair. And you stopped to look at her for a few seconds and to say she was pretty; that would be a huge understatement, and without any type of warning, you were now immensely mindful of how you looked.

A wave of self-consciousness passed through you like clockwork.

Ellie's eyes were only on the woman, and you were almost sure she hadn't even seen you walking down the stairs. Not till Joel spoke up, his eyes locked with yours as he stepped forward. “Hey kid!” He smiles and continues softly, his accent thick. “Your dad tells me that you here are picking up a few things from the grocery store!” 

And as Ellie hears Joel talk, she finally pulls her eyes away from the woman, her green irises and soft smile now directed towards you. She awkwardly keeps her hand at her waist and waves at you. 

You feel like you have to force your eyes off of her, trying to give your full attention to Joel as you turn his direction, you give him nod to confirm what he said, of course paired with an awkward smile. 

And as you finish your sentence, you're locking eyes back with Ellie’s green ones. You give her a soft smile, waving your hand back at her. 

You try to ignore how the woman’s eyes haven't left Ellie’s side profile, like she's still trying to pin her attention. Although you feel a pang of uncomfortability hit your chest, you manage to talk, an unfamiliar ache staining the area right after. “Yeah—with Ellie, I think?” 

Ellie nods softly at you. And in what's coming, consistency, she looks right back at the woman. The same girl whose name you don't even know...! “Are you going to come with us? To the grocery store?” 

Fucking Christ. You look at the girl, then right back at Ellie. Who even is this, and why is she even in your dad's house? Why was she in the car with them? There are a thousand questions going through your mind. I mean, you literally saw Ellie less than a week ago; there was never even a mention of this woman? ... I mean, of course she didn’t owe you that; you just assumed she’d tell you. 

And it’s like Joel catches your unease and discomfort because he nudges Ellie lightly, directing his eyes towards your face; this has Ellie's eyes following, of course landing straight on you. She reads your confusion, leading her to quickly clear her throat; she manages to mumble out a shitty introduction. “Shit—sorry, this is Cat!” 

Joel smiles and talks, looking at you, then at your dad. “She’s staying with us for about a week, helping me with tasks around the farm! Right before summer ends!” He looks back and forth between you, Ellie, and Cat. 

The tension in the room eases to a certain extent; I mean that was better than what you were leaning towards. Yet it only further confused you in why she and Ellie seemed so…close? You didn’t really understand why Cat seemed so entrapped by Ellie's mere presence, but you tried to ignore it. It’s not your business. 

Ellie absently leans back and forth on her heels for a solid second; she looks at you and Cat. The silence now stretching for what feels like hours. She clears her throat before speaking. Eyes trailing back to the raven-headed girl, “We can head out now...?” Ellie looks at you. “If that's alright with you guys?”

You just nod and mumble out a quick “Mhm,” your hand moving to pick up your pair of shoes, sliding them on both of your feet. Ellie doesn’t necessarily wait up for you, her feet moving out the door before you even get on your second shoe. And of course neither does Cat.

It’s literally like she's some parasite stuck to Ellie, yet it’s like Ellie enjoys her presence! Like she doesn’t care that some woman is following her around...! 

And now, you’re of course getting the feeling that they don’t want you there.

Cat ended up taking the passenger seat without a second thought, so it left you in the back, alone. 

Now leaving you to watch as they interacted with each other.

Ellie would turn back every so often; she wanted to try and include you in their conversation, but you genuinely didn’t understand half the shit they were talking about. It was all about work, specifically work in the farm department, so for half the car ride you were just sitting there awkwardly! You already weren’t excited to be in a car with Ellie, but now you’re in a car with Ellie and some woman you’ve never fucking communicated with. 

You tried your best to push down your judgment on Cat; as the car ride went on, you figured that she seemed nice enough.?

She made Ellie laugh a lot. 

It reminded you a lot of how the two of you sounded before everything went down, and now you’re wondering if you had never freaked out on her that night, maybe that would be you in the front seat, making her laugh at stupid inside jokes. That feeling of reminiscing almost made this whole situation worse. It made you feel fucking sick to your stomach.

I mean anyone with a pair of eyes could see Ellie was equally as interested in the girl, like she couldn’t get enough of her jokes and conversation; you haven’t seen Ellie like that in a while.

And then the muffled sound of Cat's voice shatters through your train of thought, “So…how old are you?” Cat turns around in the passenger seat, eyes locking with yours. 

You pause, your eyes moving back and forth between her pair... “W-what?” You look at your hands nervously, shifting them back up at her as you finish your sentence. You couldn’t understand why you found this woman so intimidating. Maybe it was the fact she asked you a question as you were staring off into space. 

Or maybe how she’s had Ellie’s attention almost the whole drive...!

Cat just simply chuckles and looks at you, her dark eyes looking at your confused face, “Just asked how old you were?” She looks at Ellie and sorta laughs. Ellie's eyes shift to look at her, eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiles, cheeks noticeably turning pink before her gaze focuses back on the road. 

You look at the two of them and fight the urge to roll your eyes. It’s getting a bit theatrical at this point; no way looking at someone has Ellie's cheeks turning fucking pink. “I’m 18.” You look at Cat, clearing your throat in the process. “You?”

She smiles as she directs her attention back at Ellie. “Shit, Williams, didn’t realize you hung around 18 year olds?” She’s obviously kidding; you’re not stupid; you can tell she’s making a joke, but it was fucking dumb; Ellie was 19 for fuck's sake! “Shut up, man.” Ellie chuckles and looks at Cat for a solid second, eyes swiftly moving back to the road.

Cat talks and smiles, “I’m 21.” She chuckles, replying to your unanswered question. You watch as she looks straight back at Ellie. It’s like they couldn’t pull their eyes away from each other.

And you can’t get over how different Ellie’s acting is, like she’s trying to put on a show for some audience. However, the only audience is some chick. Like she’s throwing on some cool facade? It’s weird to say the least; Ellie never acts like this, at least she never acted like this when she was around you.

It makes you want to leave the car. Getting increasingly uncomfortable in the small atmosphere, you feel like they don’t want you there. Plus, the small comment on your age made you embarrassed. 

You just reply to Cat with a simple nod.

And it’s like your prayers are answered because the car finally parks in front of the store. You immediately unbuckle your seatbelt and open the trunk door to get out. 

And you’re starting to think maybe you were wrong; maybe Ellie was still mad. And sure, she had the right to be? But fuck, you were just in serious need of your friendship going back to normal; you hated being whatever this was. 

The worst sting so far was the fact Ellie didn’t even hesitate to open Cat's door for her, in the meantime practically ignoring you. You observe the two of them for a few seconds, neither of them even paying mind that you were in fact also in the car. 

You awkwardly watch as Cat tilts her head at Ellie, batting her eyelashes at her, as if she is starving for some sort of reaction. And a reaction she gets, because almost instantaneously, Ellie's cheeks stain a light pink. Cats hand now trailing her forearm, of course where her tattoo is. 

You’re grateful for the open surroundings of the parking lot. It genuinely made leaving them and walking straight to the grocery store easy, you having zero intent to wait up for them. 

As you were looking for your items, your head kept glancing at the list your father provided; you tried to distract yourself with literally anything. The sounds, the environment, anything that now surrounds you, and unfortunately nothing fucking worked; it’s like you could get your mind off of stupid Ellie. 

And it was ludicrous, outlandish even. She could even lock eyes with you for more than 30 seconds, yet you’re over here in a grocery store fully ready to cry, a familiar burn in your throat appearing. 

Ellie's soft voice has your train of thought snap, “So? What are we looking for exactly? She asks, green eyes on you as she smiles softly. You look around; you see Cat not too far away; she’s fully distracted talking to a worker; your best guess is her trying to find something.

You stare at Ellie for a few seconds, your hand moving itself as you hand her the list, intentionally trying to avoid making conversation with her. Ellie watches as you conveniently ignore her presence, in the sense that you won’t talk to her. That simple action makes her frown. 

“You alright?” She mumbles, awkwardly clearing her throat as her eyes don’t peel away from your figure. You look back at her, eyes finally locking as you nod. “I’m fine.” You say, your voice strong with the tone of confidence. It’s almost like you’re not only trying to convince Ellie there’s nothing wrong, but also yourself. 

You grab a few items from the list, pulling your eyes away from her, actively trying to distract yourself, way better than focusing on how Ellie’s shoulders deflate, catching the fact that you lied to her face.

Her eyes go soft, nodding softly at your response, hands trailing into her pockets. 

She doesn’t even understand; are you mad at her? Because that’s all she’s thinking, her mind is racing, trying to come up with any explanation as to why you suddenly seem annoyed by her. And just as she was about to talk, completely prepared to ask you once again if you were actually okay, Cat walked over in queue, her hand moving straight to Ellie’s shoulder. “You guys okay?” She asks softly; it seems like a general question directed to the both of you. But you see how her dark eyes trail to only focus on the auburn-haired girl. It’s clear to see Cat doesn’t actually care about what you're currently feeling. Clearly just trying to be polite. 

Ellie looks at you rather than Cat; her eyes are trying their best to read you, and for once she doesn’t care how she has Cat's arms on her. Ellie’s gaze lingers on you for an excessive amount of time; she notices how Cat's arms tighten slightly; however, to Ellie, it feels like nothing else at this moment matters. Her eyes are pleading with you, begging for you to break down this newly built wall. It makes the air feel heavy.

You both feel it...

You pause and clear your throat, picking up one of the final items you need. “I’m fine.” You spit out, your eyes shifting towards Cats; you again have to force yourself to look away from Ellie’s green irises. Because once again you noticed that desperate look in her eyes, trying to understand what she might have done to upset you. 

It never wavers either, even after you left the grocery store, all three of you getting in Ellie’s truck, journeying back to your dad's place. Her newfound concern has your chest tighten. The car ride back has a huge shift, everyone in the car growing more quiet than usual; you avoid talking as best as you can, eyes constantly glancing to your hands. 

It didn’t feel extremely long, the car pulling into the driveway shortly after you zoned out. It felt almost like your body moved itself, unbuckling yourself from the seatbelt, opening the car door to land on the ground, the soft crunch of the gravel falling under each pair of feet. The familiar sight of your dad's home offered some comfort, especially after being in a car with Ellie and Cat for so fucking long.

You were the first to enter your dad's home, creating some much-needed space between the pair. As you drag your feet through the home, you hear the sound of Ellie and Cat talking. You also catch the exhausted sigh Ellie lets out, and as you turn back, you see Cat leaning over into Ellie, brushing over her arm as she mumbles an incoherent sentence. 

You don’t stop to listen; instead, you continue with the grocery bags in your hand, and you try your best to pretend the tightening in your chest doesn’t increase. Instead, distract your mind by joining Joel and your father outside on the porch. 

Your dad quickly notices you walking outside and quickly smiles, stopping his conversation with Joel. “Took you long enough, kid.” He jokes a chuckle leaving his mouth. You see Joel snicker, a beer resting in his hands. You just roll your eyes, talking softly. “Yeah, well next time—“ you push the grocery bags in his chest, “you can get it yourself!” 

Your dad jokingly puts up his hands defensively; you look at him for a few seconds, mouth open, as you are about to talk. Yet the sound of the door sliding open caught your attention, your own eyes now peering behind you.

By the time Ellie and Cat join, you hear their chattering, well…mainly just Cat's! You see Ellie positioned right behind her, her green eyes flickering towards you, now desperately trying to catch her gaze. You notice it, and you ignore it, turning around to look right back at your dad.

Ellie sighs. She stops for a few seconds; it’s hard to understand what the fuck is wrong when you refuse to even talk to her. And in that moment she hesitantly turns towards Cat, her voice soft as she speaks. “Shit—I think I left my keys on the counter. Do you mind?” Ellie says, eyes partially on Cat, and in a swift motion flicking back towards you. 

Cat nods; from your position, you can’t hear what she says, but soon enough the door is sliding open, closing only a few seconds after. 

Ellie lingers at the doorway for a few seconds; she’s currently trying to psych herself up. She didn’t get why she still cared so much about your interpretation of her; you guys are just good friends. She knows that now. And plus, she has Cat, someone who she’s 90% sure likes her. 

Regardless, nerves get the better of her, so she’s currently standing awkwardly with her hands stuffed into her pockets; it probably doesn’t help that her gaze is literally burning into your figure, only making her even more fucking nervous. She clears her throat and murmurs a short “Fuck“ feet now moving towards you, the porch creaking with each step. 

“Hey...!” She taps your shoulder lightly, her voice soft and careful. As you turn around, she watches as your gaze lingers on her face, not uttering a word. And that’s what sends Ellie into a state of panic; it was dramatic, sure, but you being completely silent makes Ellie’s heart increase in pace, that leading her to speak once again. “Are you alright? You just seem— She stops as soon as she sees a long sigh leave your lips, eyes closing as if you are exhausted.

It takes you a few seconds to push some words out of your mouth, and as you do, your voice takes a tired tone. “Why do you keep asking me that, Ellie? I'm fine.” It comes out a tad bit harsher than intended, and you watch as her face shifts, starting to materialize with a sad frown. She just awkwardly clears her throat, her hand coming to rub the back of her neck. “I don’t—I don’t know?” She stutters, her voice wavering; she's starting to wonder why she constantly bothers; it’s so clear you don’t fucking need to be checked up on. She doesn’t understand why she can’t get that easy information through her head. 

“I’m—I’m sorry... but I'm fine?” You look at her, your voice now soft as you softly reassure her, both of you looking into each other's eyes for a few seconds. For those few seconds, it feels like it used to. Ellie’s green eyes shining in the sun. You always liked how they looked, something you've never thought to even tell her, and maybe if it was like it was before, you would tell her.

You notice how her eyes are bouncing back and forth between your pair; she clears her throat out of nervousness, looking down as she says her next sentence. “Like, are you mad at me or something?” She asks, instantly awaiting an answer once it leaves her lips. 

You pause for a few seconds; your initial response is to completely deny it, because truthfully you’re not mad at Ellie…You don’t think you are? And shockingly, a large part of you wants to tell her the truth. But the fact that those words feel like they’re burning in your throat makes you second-guess that decision. In all honesty, it feels like you’ve hardly even accepted it yourself; you are sure you like Ellie, but admitting that out loud—no way...

You’re about to talk, taking a long, deep breath, eyes searching for hers. You want to try your best to lay it all out. Maybe give her a watered-down version of your feelings; that way it may not feel as scary. It’s simple enough to say the night in your bedroom meant something, where you laid your head on her chest, falling asleep in each other's arms. That doesn’t necessarily mean you like her? It just means that maybe that night didn’t need to be deemed as some mistake. 

“Ellie—“ 

As you attempt to speak, the sound of the door sliding catches both of your attention. The dark-eyed girl comes outside, her body moving straight towards Ellie, arm instantly looping around hers. She didn’t even stop to acknowledge the fact that you were just talking, and without a second thought, she spoke. “Couldn’t find your keys on the counter, sorry Els…” 

However, Ellie's gaze never leaves your face, and without delay, Cat notices. She sees how it falls on you, like the auburn-haired girl can’t pull her eyes away from you. And it’s like Cat noticing that; it only made her hold onto Ellie tighter, her hand trailing back and forth on Ellie’s forearm. Like she’s looking for a reaction. And although you feel one, you don’t let it show on your face, leaving it carefully neutral; it wasn’t as hard as you thought to act like you hadn't even noticed.

You see how Cat shifts slightly, a soft smile present on her face; it’s subtle, and it makes you wonder what she’s even trying to convey, and you know that this smile isn’t the result of holding Ellie. You see how she's staring right at you! And it makes you confused, because someone who seemed nice in the beginning is now seeming like a burden to have around, and sure she’s Ellie’s…friend, but it appears like she’s doing it on purpose. Intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable! 

And although it seemed obvious to you, Ellie, on the other hand, is completely oblivious. Or at least she's pretending to be; her eyes are still locked on you with an inexplicable amount of intensity, like she’s still awaiting your answer to her question. You watch as her lips part, as if she’s about to talk. You even believe she might, yet not even a second later her lips close and she turns, her green eyes now looking straight at Cat. “Ahh…okay, I think I may have just misplaced them.” Ellie smiles sweetly, clears her throat, and continues. “Sorry for making you look.”

Cat shakes her head and smiles. “It’s not a problem.”

And that’s how it often went. Two quickly became three. If Ellie was at your dad's place, so was Cat. Like they were connected, interlinked in a way. 

And to say it was awkward, that’d easily be putting it lightly. You felt like an unintentional third wheel constantly...! You watched as Cat made it a point to only talk to Ellie, regardless of whether she was in your space! It was comical really; you could be in your bedroom with the pair, and somehow, the conversation would always revolve completely around Ellie. It was as if you were invisible, or maybe some convenient backdrop to their little inside jokes. 

And as always, that's what was happening tonight. 

You would watch as Cat's eyes would always occasionally flicker towards you, as if she was making sure you were still watching as they bonded together; you’d also watch as they would immediately move back to Ellie, like some magnetic connection. Maybe it was dramatic, but even sitting in your small room, it felt like you were miles apart from them. Like you couldn’t break into their invisible thread that seemed to entrap them. 

And it wasn’t even like you wanted to be the centre of attention. It wasn't even about that…? But it was so hard not to notice how they were always talking, and you were just there; it felt like the hangouts were pointless. It was difficult to act like it wasn’t a big deal. And you knew that they were friends after all. You haven't seen them do anything other than light touches, which were always initiated by Cat. And you knew their closeness was not something to be threatened by; plus, Cat left in a few days anyway, her week with Joel quickly coming to an end. 

But knowing that made you sad, and not because of Cat; you were sad because you knew you were shortly after. After she was gone, you had less than a month to spend at your dad's house, and not dwelling on that became an impossible task. 

“Do you mind grabbing the drinks from Ellie's truck?” Cat says cutting off your train of thought. You stay silent for a few seconds, not only out of habit, but you weren’t even sure if she was talking to you; it takes Ellie’s eyes flicking towards you to understand that it was indeed a question directed at you. Your silence is what makes Cat chuckle, heat rising to your cheeks without missing a second. 

“Right...” you mutter, the words barely escaping your lips as you swing your legs over your bed. Cat is already turning her head, presumably to go straight back to meet Ellie's eyes, ready to spike up more conversation. It makes you sigh softly, your legs feeling heavy as you attempt to start moving forward. All you really want to do is leave your bedroom; being in a space with Ellie and Cat is starting to feel suffocating. The task already felt hard enough; your movements haltered and slow, it only got worse as Ellie stood abruptly, standing in front of you, which ends up blocking your path.

You look at her for a few seconds, your mannerisms expressing your clear confusion. Ellie's eyes are staring intensely at you, every so often looking back and forth between you and Cat, Cat's body still sitting on the floor. Ellie's silence comes to an end as she manages to spit out a stuttered sentence: “N-need a hand?” 

Cat's face immediately drops as Ellie talks, silently trying to express her distaste through her eyes; luckily, it doesn't work. Ellie doesn’t even notice Cat's dark eyes on her; all she can focus on is the girl in front of her, the girl who is you. When Ellie looks at you, she suddenly understands why your opinion of her still mattered so much. It’s hard to lose those feelings immediately, even after how persistent she was to lock them away.

Her gaze makes you nervous, eyes trailing to your bedroom door behind Ellie. You pause for a few seconds before attempting to break past her figure, all while forgetting there was still a girl on your floor, actively watching the both of you. Your voice comes out short as you move hastily, “I—I’m fine, Ellie. Thank you, though.”

Ellie quickly shakes her head, cutting you off as she makes eye contact with you once again. “No, no, I don’t mind. The cases are heavy, so...! She says awkwardly as she opens your bedroom door, and Ellie watches as you walk out of your bedroom door; it was clear that Ellie wasn't taking no for an answer. 

You turn around, watching as Ellie mumbles something to Cat. Cats face expressing nothing but a sour expression, she seems mad at Ellie, or maybe even you. Regardless, it doesn’t take long before Ellie leaves Cat alone in your bedroom; a part of you wants to feel bad, but then again, Cat clearly didn’t when she left you out of conversations. 

Ellie is quiet as she walks down the creaky stairs of your dad's house. Truthfully, both of you were doing your best to keep quiet; maybe it was out of awkwardness. 

She is trailing behind you, keys jiggling as she grabs them out of her pocket. And finally she talks, breaking that wall of tension both of you previously had up. “Cat leaves in 2 days, you know?” Ellie says softly, opening the door as you both trail outside. She unlocks her car, quickly grabbing a case of alcohol that Cat purchased.

“Yeah, but who's counting?” You joke, your eyes locking with Ellie's. Your manner has both of you ease up, stepping into territory that felt like how it was before that night. You watch as Ellie's lips curl into a soft smile, a chuckle leaving her lips as her eyes light up slightly. 

You instantly let out a soft sigh of relief; you weren't sure if she was going to laugh at your words. Both of you have been stale, so that little chuckle felt like endless confirmation that maybe it wasn’t doomed, your friendship that is. 

“I was just letting’ you know!” She says, pausing as she thinks of her next words carefully. Her own mind drifting away from the woman who is still inside waiting for the both of you to return. “There’s a lake you know...?” A quaver in her voice as if she's nervous. 

You glance at her for a few seconds; you’re curious, maybe even a little intrigued. “A lake?” You dampen, eyebrow raising at her words. “Like…a secret one, or one I just didn’t know about.” The pause between the two of you lingers; it almost feels like Ellie’s opening up again, like the doors you were sure you sealed shut are starting to be pushed open, like those cracks are becoming visible once again. You both feel it. 

“How many lakes do you know about?” Ellie tilts her head, a grin on her face as if she's challenging you. Her words make you laugh as you shrug, your voice coming out light as you stare at each other. “I don't know—just what's so cool about this lake?”

“I don’t know; it’s quiet. Peaceful, if you will?” Ellie talks, a stupid smirk on her face as she says the last four words, eyes flickering down to the case of alcohol, promptly being held up in her two hands. “I mean, it’s a little out of the way…” She continues, eyes moving back to you. “But literally no one ever goes there; we could check it out.” Ellie smiles as she looks at you, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Okay!”

Three days later you guys do end up going out to that same lake Ellie mentioned. 

You found yourself sitting in Ellie's passenger seat of her trunk; you genuinely couldn’t remember the last time it was just the two of you in this car, not being forced upon awkward circumstances. Granted, it wasn’t like it wasn’t awkward; the two of you didn’t really know what to talk about. Even so, the soft hum of the engine and the cracking of the radio filled the unwanted silence, which was nice. 

Cat being gone also felt like a breath of fresh air, the weight lifting off the space of you and Ellie. You really didn't realize how heavy the tension had been until it was gone; she was gone. Cat’s presence did always seem to hover, like she was lingering in a possessive sense. Her gestures always being small yet noticeable. Her hands always finding excuses to be on Ellie's skin, the way she would always inch closer during conversations, she would constantly try to claim attention in ways that made you feel left out, regardless of being the person who had been there first. 

The sound of Ellie's car pulling over to the side caught your attention, quickly snapping you out of your long train of thought. The tires were slowly crunching as they came to a stop; her car was now idling, sitting on a dirt patch beside the water. The lake stretches out before you; it was calm and still, the trees on the far side reflecting on the water. It felt like a place that demanded a slow breath, almost like it could wash away everything if you let it. 

“Well...!” Ellie said as she killed the engine to her truck. She opened the door and hopped out of her truck; the dust below Ellie settled as she swung her legs out, planting them firmly on the ground. You watch as she makes her way to your side of the truck, hand reaching for the door as she opens it for you. That little moment had the air change for you. “This is it!” She almost sounded tentative, but there was a flicker of something else, something you hadn’t heard from Ellie in a while. Hope, maybe? Reminiscences of desire for normalcy, it’s something that has been missing between you two for so long.

“This is it!” You repeat, your eyes locked on her as you step out of her truck. “It’s beautiful.” You say eyes locked on the water as you take it all in. The shine of the stars was clearly reflecting on the water; it was all so pretty. 

Ellie stood next to you for a few seconds, quiet at first as she took in the sight in front of her. Slowly she turns her head, eyes locking with you. “It is, isn’t it?” She smiles, the shine of the moon illuminating her eyes. You watch as her eyes move off of you, missing the moment where your cheeks tint a light shade of pink. You’re almost grateful she missed it. 

Surely she’s doing this on purpose... That’s all you can think, the realization making your head spin. And you really couldn’t help but stare at her for a moment. Caught in the sincerity of her expression. Again, a look you haven’t seen in her in a while.

“So…” Ellie says, breaking the newfound tension, her voice a little louder as she says her next sentence, “Are we going swimming?” She spits out, her eyes fixated on the lake in front of the two of you. Her tone is almost casual, with no teasing edge to it.

“Swimming? Ellie I didn’t- you never even mentioned swimming. You spit out, eyes struck with clear confusion. 

Ellie shrugs, a smile present on her face, specifically forming in the middle of her face, framing at the corner of her mouth. “Um, it’s a lake? I sort of assumed you‘d get the memo." She laughs softly.

You glance from the water to Ellie; you try to process her words. Sure, the offer seems inviting; the lake is calm and clear, but it’s not like you brought a bathing suit, plus the idea of jumping in freezing cold water was unsurprisingly uninviting. 

“Hold on?!” You raise your hand; despite the raised voice, your tone is not serious, a clear smile written all over your face. “You came here to what?- swim? After all that talk about it being peaceful and quiet?” You look at her with an amused expression; you have to force yourself not to laugh at her. “Plus it’s almost midnight, not exactly ‘perfect’ swimming weather.”

Ellie smiles and shakes her head proudly, her legs moving fast as she gets to the edge of the water. “It’s perfect swimming weather if you ask me!” 

“Turn around!” Ellie says hesitantly, her voice strong with undertones of embarrassment. Voice going soft and quiet. Bashful even.

“Why?” You ask, your voice instantly betraying your confusion. 

Ellie’s gaze flickers to the side, avoiding yours for a moment, before she groans in frustration. “Just! Turn around!” 

Your movements grow slow as you process her words, still not entirely sure as to what she's up to. Your eyes flicker to Ellie as she shifts her weight from one foot to another, clearly anxious. Those mannerisms make you fold, so you listen, turning around slowly. 

After a few moments you hear the sound of fabric rustling, followed by the sound of a heavy drop hitting the ground. And suddenly you feel frozen. 

Your heart genuinely feels like it stops for a few moments, completely caught off guard. Your brain is trying to process the fact that Ellie seems to be getting out of her clothes right behind you. 

You hear the soft sound of splashes not coming too long after her clothes hitting the ground, and finally Ellie speaks once again. “Alright! Turn around!” Her voice is also a little shaky, leading you to take it as she’s nervous too; that factor makes you feel better. A breath of relief leaving your system.

You try to steady yourself, now breathing slowly, as you move your body at sloth speed to turn around and see Ellie. 

You’re silently thanking the fact it’s night, the dark sky acting as a blanket over everything, the stars twinkling above, making you feel like they’re also watching this scene unfold. Soon enough you see Ellie swim closer into shore. “Okay, your turn!” Ellie shouts, looking at you, her sentence leaving you awkwardly standing. “What?!” You laugh out, No way. No way you're doing all this shit in front of Ellie. 

“The water feels amazing!” She yells out, splashing around with her arms as if she’s trying to prove her point. At the same time trying to calm her own nerves!

You stare at her for a few seconds. “You’re insane.” You laugh softly, your heart rate now starting to calm down. The idea of being in front of Ellie with nothing but underwear and a bra seems terrible, far too vulnerable. 

Ellie thinks for a few seconds, going quiet. “Look!” Ellie shouts, her figure now standing up in the water. You watch as she visibly turns around, as if she’s trying not to make this feel as weird as it does. And you do hesitate, eyes moving to the water below then to the starry night. 

“It’s nice in the water, I promise!” Ellie says softly, a smile evident in her tone. 

You look at her figure from behind, your heart picking back up again as you move your hands to the hem of your shirt. Hands moving above your head as you strip yourself of your t-shirt. The cool air hits your skin, and you feel the need to put back on your shirt, but you don't; you suck it up.

Your hands then move to your shorts, fingers accidentally fumbling with the buttons. The silence between you two is deafening, both under a silent understanding that maybe this moment deserves quietness. And in all honesty, when Ellie heard your clothes falling behind her, her thoughts ended up freezing anyway!

Not too long after ranting about how going in the water was insane, you're now just in your bra and underwear, hesitantly moving to the edge of the shore as you let your legs get covered with the cool water. It is cold but refreshing. 

“Can I turn around now?” Ellie questions, her voice soft as she breaks through the water's gentle movement. It’s softer than before, almost hesitant. The sound of Ellie's small movements almost sounds as loud as your heartbeat, which is saying a lot. 

“Mhm.” You mumble out, body still adjusting to the cool water. It’s up to your chest now, the lake pulling you deeper with each step. Yet it’s not just the water pulling you closer; maybe it’s something else. Like the way Ellie's voice sounds, a little more open, vulnerable, something you again haven't heard in so long before this night. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re both finally here, now in the same space together, the quiet acknowledgment that in this moment, you are both standing on the same ground. 

You glance over at her and really see her, in one of her most vulnerable forms, the same way she’s currently seeing you. The moon reflecting on both of your wet skin. You see as Ellie's eyes are fixated on you, the same amount of intensity yours are holding. There are no walls, no playful manner; it’s just really the two of you, laid out on a hypothetical table for each other to see. It makes your breath hitch.

You don’t even realize it immediately, but the initial space the two of you had eventually started to fade. The steady rhythm of your breathing, everything is unspoken yet clear; you both have crossed the line. 

And maybe it’s the lack of words that's encouraged Ellie to make her next move; there's a clear absence in her thought process, but can you blame her? The way you were looking at her, eyes locked on each other. It all came together to make her incredibly delirious. 

Her body shifts with a small wave of a movement. Her gaze never leaving yours, both of your eyes locked together. It almost seems like she's waiting for something, waiting for you. It’s silent, yet you both know what is playing out, and suddenly kissing a girl doesn’t seem as scary as before.

Ellie doesn’t even wait for permission; she doesn't have to. Her hand reaches out to touch your cheek, the other hand moving to graze your arm. You feel her calloused fingers. Her touch is light but unmistakably deliberate. She doesn’t pull away, and neither do you. It’s a simple connection but electric. 

And without thinking too deeply into it, Ellie closes the gap.

A/N -> after MONTHS part 3 is finally out!!!

I am SO sorry for everyone who I kept waiting, i’ve been on the other side of this and I completely understand how annoying it is to wait for someone to continue their series!

I swear life just got insane and I’ve been so so so busy, not the mention the crazy writes block I was going through!

I will make sure the next part doesn’t take as long as this one, yet i’m not sure how quick i’ll be getting it out.

( I have school, work, and sooo much more so I apologize in advance! )

Ily you all soooo much and thank you for understanding!

(likes and reblogs are always appreciated)

taglist: @diddiqueen @bready101 @mcqueeferson (can’t tag some ppl!)