#this is cringe but i haven't been cringe in SO LONG

[hufflepuffsthunderdome]

They Knew

Schlatt x gn!reader Summary: Second part to this! Schlatt takes you back to his after the bar. After all these years you're finally together in the ways you always hoped, until Schlatt's anxiety gets the best of him. Warnings: Please let me know if you find any gendered language, I haven't edited this fully yet. Swearing, making out, allusions to sex. I'm gonna torture everyone and make you wait longer for the smut

You don't remember getting out of the cab, or stumbling your way drunk through the doors of Schlatt's family home, still locking lips as you cling onto each other and giggle. He shushes you as he laughs, as he stumbles his way down the hallway towards his bedroom.

"Not very subtle you two are," a kind voice laughs from the kitchen as his mum flicks on the lights and gives him a faux stern look as the pair stumble in. Her eyes drift to you and in an instant she's in front of you, her hands are on your shoulders as she pulls you in for an excited hug.

"Well look what the cat dragged in," she says excitedly as she pulls back, hands still on her shoulder as she takes you in "oh dear look at you," she says getting a bit choked up as she takes you in, "I always knew you'd grow up to be a beautiful young woman."

"Mom come on," Schlatt grumbles embarrassed as you laugh softly next to him, making familiar pleasantries with his mum. She steps back and takes the sight of the two of you in, standing in her kitchen, like you did so often when you were kids. Now, here you were again, by some miracle, in her kitchen once again, all that time having flown by.

He hears his mum open the door before he can make his way down stairs, cringing to himself as he hears the surprised greeting she gives you.

“Oh! Hello dear,” she says sweetly as she opens the door and takes you in, “who might you be?”

You laugh nervously as you adjust your bag on your shoulder, giving the woman a polite smile, “hi Mrs schlatt -“

He cuts you off as he leaps down the stairs, sliding in between you and his mum, “this is Y/N mum,” he says, “they’re a -“ his voice stuttering in his throat as he takes you in, staring up at him, dreading the words coming from his mouth, “friend from school.”

“Mmm,” his mum chuckles behind him as she fails to stifle her laugh, “friend from school he says.”

"Come on," Schlatt groans as he stumbles a bit drunk, resting a hand on your waist, "you can talk in the morning."

"Oh in the morning huh?" she says as she raises an eyebrow at her son, who in turn groans as his cheeks flush, "alright alright" she laughs putting her hands up in surrender "I'm leaving."

"You're so embarrassing" Schlatt groans to his mum as he grabs your hand, tugging you towards his bedroom door.

"I'm just gonna say one I told you so" she says to Schlatt in a sing song voice as she walks up the stairs "'I don't like her mum' you used to say, but I always knew"

He pulls you into his bedroom as he groans, pushing the door shut as he grumbles "Jesus Christ!"

"She always knew huh?" you say teasingly as you look around his bedroom, stumbling slightly on your wobbly legs. It's a lot different than the last time you've been in here, but you've caught some of his streams before he moved out. It's comfortable, familiar, even though it's changed.

He watches you as you walk around his room, a longing in his chest making it ache. It's been so long since he's really been back, but watching you, move about his space with such familiarity makes him remember just how much you belong, how easily you fit into his life. How much he's missed you.

"I used to hate when she asked about you," he says in a soft voice as he approaches you, gently turning you in his arms as they snake around your waist.

You smile softly as you wrap your hands around his neck, "my family used to do the same."

"I used to get so embarrassed that they thought we were dating," he admits as he raises a hand to your face, cupping it gently as he rubs his thumb across your cheek. You've lost some of the baby fat you still had the last time he saw you, your face now littered with freckles etched into your skin from your time on the West Coast. Your time away from him.

"I did too," you whisper, words slightly slurred still, as you lean into his touch, "I didn't wanna be the kinda person to fall for their best friend... it was so cliche," You breathe as you look up at him, "but everyone knew."

"How was your date?" your mum beams at you as you walks through the door, throwing your shoes and coat off and dumping them on the ground.

You huffs and slink past her into the kitchen, pulling open the fridge and grabbing an apple, the first thing you sees. "It wasn't a date," you remind them as you take a bite of your apple, keeping the fridge door open to cool your suddenly warm cheeks.

"Well how was your not date then?" she says excitedly, attracting the attention of your father who pops his head out of his office.

"How did the date go kiddo?"

"It wasn't a date," you groan as he sits down at the kitchen island, burying your face in your hands.

There's the sound of doors opening and closing upstairs as excited footsteps run to the top of the stairs, "how was your date?" your brother asks. "Is Jay still here?"

All you can do is groan as you feels your face burn, "I don't like him like that."

He nods as he pulls you closer, chest against chest, holding you, "yeah," he whispers as he leans closer, "they knew. I think I knew too."

The vulnerability in his voice makes you wanna cry, the longing in his eyes makes the tears actually well up as all you can do is connect your lips to his. This kiss is passionate and soft, gentle. There's an innocence to this kiss that surprises you both, different to the desperate flurry in the cab. Those young teens that were crushing on each other coming out as if it's the first time you've both kissed anyone. The kiss you both wish had been your first.

You stand there for an eternity, softly kissing, wrapped up in each others arms. Schlatt's grip on your waist is almost bruising as he holds you against him, afraid if he loosens it even slightly you'll vanish from his life again. It feels like a dream, having you in his arms like this, feeling your lips against his. It's something he thought of countless times when he was younger, long nights laying awake yearning for you, too scared to make a move. Too scared to mess it up and ruin everything.

He can't help but deepen the kiss, his need for you growing as he drags his tongue across your lips. You part your lips for him with a gentle hum of pleasure, your hand slipping under his shirt as you do, nails scratching against his stomach ever so slightly and making him shiver.

As he gently pushes his tongue into your mouth, he finds those anxious thoughts coming back, as they did every time he thought about this all those years ago. Your tongue is thick with the taste of alcohol and he suddenly remembers just how drunk you were only 30 minutes ago, stumbling out of the cab. Had you sobered up that much?

He pulls away just slightly, breath heavy against your lips as he hold on you loosens slightly as they drift to hold your hips. He takes in the way you sway slightly as you stand there, the way your hazy eyes flutter open and struggle to concentrate fully on his face. He meets your confused gaze with a look of desire and disappointment etched on his own.

He wants you so badly he feels like it's suffocating him. But he can't like this. You're both too drunk for this, you more so than him. He doesn't wanna ruin the first chance he gets to sleep with you, to have you in all the ways he dreamed of, because you were both drunk. He wants to take his time, show you how good he can be for you, how much you belong together.

He takes a deep, grounding breath as he takes your hand out from under his shirt and intertwines your fingers. "We should get you to bed doll," he whispers as his thumb rubs soft circles on the back of your hand.

He watches your face morph into one of surprise as you stare up at him. He has to look away, he's too weak to keep staring into your pretty doe eyes, wide and sweet staring up at him. "I thought you-"

"You look beat," he says as he forces himself to pull away, his hand still connected with yours as he walks towards his bed.

"Oh," is all you can manage.

The sound of giggles fill the room as you and Schlatt do your best to stifle your laughs. He's got some stupid Youtube video playing that he insisted was the funniest thing he's ever seen, that he just had to show you.

It obviously wasn't. But here the two of you were anyway, lounging in your bed together as you fell apart laughing. By 3am, everything is suddenly the funniest thing in the world.

There's movements outside your bedroom that go totally unnoticed by you both until there's a sharp knock at your door. You fall silent as you stare at Schlatt, both of you with nervous looks written all over your faces.

"Yeah?" you call out, as Schlatt bites his hand to stop himself from laughing again.

"If you two can't be quiet, Jay can't stay the night anymore," the annoyed voice of your father grumbles from the other side of the door.

"No!" you both call out as you sit up straight, scrambling to turn the video off. "No no, dad, we're sorry, we'll go to bed." You say as you turn the lights off, listening to your father grumble to himself as he walks back down the hall.

You lay in silence in your bed for a while, trying to force yourself to go to sleep. "We interrupted the poor guys beauty sleep," Schlatt mumbles next to you, and in an instant you're both falling apart giggling again.

Schlatt has never hated himself more, he thinks as he watches you peacefully sleeping. Here you are, laying in his bed, curled up next to him, looking like a fucking vision. Had he really just turned you down? Why the fuck did he do that?

He can imagine his 16 year old self ready to throttle him if he could go back in time and tell him what just happened, 'oh yeah you finally kissed Y/N, they were practically hanging off you and you sent them to bed.' Maybe he has gone crazy.

He knows he made the right choice, he wanted your first time together to be special, memorable, not just a drunken fuck. The longer he sat there staring at you, the more he thinks maybe he ruined the only chance he would get.

Your confession earlier wasn't really a confession... was it? Could he really rely on you saying that you used to get embarrassed when people thought you were dating as a confession of your current feelings for him. That was nearly 10 years ago now.

He lets out a shaky breath as he looks down at you, watching the way your nose twitches slightly as you sleep, and arm draped across his leg. It feels so right, to have you like this, but fuck if this whole night didn't make him feel sick with anxiety.

[anthorius]

Where do we go from here? Chapter 1

Sevikaxfem!reader

Summary: Sevika finds herself being summoned to Piltover for a very serious proposal.

(This chapter is a lot of filling in the blanks around the end of S2)

It's also on my A03

A/N: Okay so... this is my first fic ever. My deep obsession with this older butch has possessed me into writing. So please give me some grace lol

I for sure have 5 chapters planned, all started just not fully fleshed out. If this gets received well, and I get the courage and don't cringe at my own writing I MIGHT try a smut chapter for 6. Idk for now.

So with that said, the OC I have set for this story is named Ivy. I will try to stick to she/her for the most part so anyone can fill it in with their character's name/ whatever. This first chapter is mostly a lot of filling in the gaps post S2. I also went down an Arcane/LoL rabbit hole trying to figure out the mapping of Zaun, if you haven't looked it up it's broken into 3 parts. The upper level closest to Piltover is called Promenade, the middle is Entrasol (where most of the show takes place), and the lower level is called the Sump.

There will be a brief sweet baby Isha mentioned ((I fully choose to believe that theory about one of the Noxian spears in the bg of the show was holding her helmet))

The summons was brief, the timing suspicious after everything that’s happened, and as she entered council member Shoola’s office, the air felt full with an unspoken weight.

Walking into the spacious circular room flooded with light from tall windows, her footsteps echoed faintly on the tiled floor. At the heart of the space was a grand desk in which Councilor Shoola sat behind. Approaching, Sevika took one of the chairs facing her. 

“Good afternoon Sevika, I do appreciate you coming all this way to meet with me. Oh, would you like any refreshments? I can have someone-”

“Let’s just get to why I’m here, thank you.”

“Straight to the point, I can respect that.”

As she turned to grab a thick folder off her desk she began to explain why Sevika’s presence was requested. 

Apparently Shoola had been in contact with Caitlyn before her departure with Vi. The long drawn out conversation about this very moment finally coming to fruition. And from the sounds of things, it sounded like this was more so Vi’s proposal than Cait’s. 

Days after the fighting had stopped, when the dust finally had some time to settle, she found herself finally having some time to think, to grieve, to unpack. The pill was hard to swallow but Vi had begun the process of breaking down the facts that she’d been pushing down and ignoring for years. She couldn’t help but finally recognize that Sevika had always stood for Zaun. Her initial falling out with Vander wasn’t quite truly a betrayal, she hadn’t realized just how badly those childhood feelings skewed her vision back then. Vi saw first hand just how strongly her father had prioritized his children, even if it mean pushing the fate of Zaun to the backburner. It took time but she was finally starting to understand the complexity and nuance of it all, nothing was ever really that black and white. And with this revelation she decided to talk to Caitlyn about proposing a council spot for Zaun.

It had to rebuild anyway, and there were only two living members of the original council left and one was off with the Noxian army. This is the perfect opportunity to try and start making a change. And Caitlyn couldn’t find it in her to disagree, whether she liked it or not she couldn’t help but think about just how firmly her late mother believed the people of Zaun had rights, and the right to be heard was more than overdue.

This led them to presenting this idea to Shoola, who surprisingly agreed. She’d explained to the pair that post-battle,  during the honoring ceremony held in Piltover, Sevika insisted on being the holder of the flame in representation of the people of Zaun, and it wasn’t a question. They’d been in contact only a few times briefly but she had to agree, each time they spoke Sevika always carried herself as if she was already in a position of leadership. She shared the risk and fought right alongside her people til the very end. Her commitment was commendable. And by the end of the visit a decision was made between the three. 

Shoola was to request a meeting and present the council seat position to Sevika. After everything there wasn’t any reason to continue to act as if the people of Zaun, who came up and fought alongside their oppressors to keep their region from being usurped, deserved to get shoved back in the dark. Unheard and cast aside, no, that was seemingly over now.  And once Sevika was properly caught up on the matter Shoola proceeded to hand her over the weighty folder. She made sure to let her know that she doesn’t have to give an immediate answer, this proposal was a lot to take in. And with that Shoola gave her a line of contact that would reach her office for when she’d made up her mind and bid her adieu. 

But Sevika had a hard time believing this was the only reason the position was created. She could see through the polite demeanor.  Yes of course it was about time for some real tangible progress to be made for Zaun, but she saw it in Shoola’s eyes, the idea of anything like this happening again had these topsiders shaken to their core. 

Just because they were allowing Zaun to be heard now didn’t mean that wasn’t without a condition. This whole situation only proved to show they need to keep a better eye on Zaun. Make sure another Jinx or Victor never happens again. She knows they think Zaun could no longer be left unsupervised. The sugar-coated offer was almost insulting but she would be out of her mind to decline. So despite the heavy presence that loomed, Sevika left Shoola’s office with that thick folder filled with documents about the proposal, the position, and all that follows it.

Which lead her to now, in her quiet little shit box she called home, sprawled across a very worn in couch. The folder tossed on an end table. Her head had been throbbing nonstop since the battle ended, a dull, relentless ache that seemed to echo the exhaustion buried deep in her bones. 

But even with this little glimmer of hope that was just barely peeking through in the form of this offer, she couldn’t find it in herself to feel even a flicker of joy. The mere act of closing her eyes only forced the memories back, ripping her from any potential feeling of peace. 

… 

…

…

She found out about Isha’s death the hard way. She had made her way down to the Sump level of Zaun after hearing about all the commotion that happened. There were so many spears embedded in the ground. And as she took in what was left of the carnage her eyes met a single Noxian spear, and sat upon it a concaved child’s mining helmet, adorned in faded colors and scribbles. And in that moment she felt like she couldn’t breathe, the wind knocked out of her from recognition.

Her legs collapsed under her, the weight of everything pressing her into the floor. For a moment, she didn’t move, didn’t even try. The world around her blurred, reduced to a quiet hum in the background...

…

She didn’t know how much time had passed til she finally came back into herself, and forced her body to move. She’s seen countless die in her years and although her hand’s weren’t clean, she was so tired of seeing death everywhere she went. But she had to keep going, slowly she pushed herself up and started walking. The grief of Isha followed by the new stress of not knowing where Jinx was shadowed her all throughout her treck back to Entrasol. But she knew she couldn’t just drop everything to look for her. 

And before she could even give the idea any more thought she’d heard someone call out to her. 

“There you are!” the sound of relief in Scar’s voice was hard to miss.

Turning to face him she gave a quiet nod of acknowledgment. 

He jogs up to her catching his breathe, “You need to come with me. Ekko is missing.”

Shaking her head in disbelief, “What? What do you mean missing he’s your leader?” 

“The ground team hasn’t seen him lately, everyone’s scheduled to meet in an hour to go over the plan but I haven’t heard back from him or any of the other sky riders.”

“I need you to come back with me to the hideout so we can adjust the plan accordingly”, he urged.

Of course everything was going to shit, the most crucial fight of their lives was about to happen and people are just vanishing.

“Lead the way” and so Scar guides her back down to the firelights hideout. 

Finally making their way through the maze of a tunnel system they arrived. The welcoming sight of that magnificent tree greeted them. But as they walked forward that initial awe had been replaced by the shock of just how many citizens the firelights had managed to hide away here. 

“Before he dipped he had everyone go out and gather any sick, elderly, kids, you name it." He looked at just how much the crowd had grown. “We’re beyond capacity but he said not to turn anyone away.” 

As they spoke and navigated through the crowd one of the younger Firelight members ran up to them, a younger boy couldn’t have been older than 16 running around with one hell of a mop on his head. 

“Scar we got word from the sky riders, they should be here shortly!” 

“Any word about Ekko?”

“No, not yet. They just said they’d recap once they landed”

“How long ago was that call?” 

“Just a few-” before he could even finish the unmistakable hum of hoverboards echoed through the higher tunnels. Scar threw his hand up to wave one down and immediately the owl masked vigilante made their way over to land.

“Please tell me you know where Ekko is.” 

The was rider rushing to pull her mask and headgear off.

“He found Jinx! He got her to join in on the fight!”

The immediate relief of hearing that kid was still alive allowed her to finally release some of the tension she’d been unconsciously holding in her body.

“They’re planning something even bigger for the diversion! He said he’d reach out to us soon but everything is still set to go as planned. And you guy’s can start readying the ground team for the sneak attack. They’re not gonna know what hit em!” the enthusiasm beaming off of this kid was almost contagious.

“Thank Janna, finally some good news.” Scar exhaled. 

She couldn’t help but be feel a little recharged at the positive turn of events. “You heard ‘em, start gathering all of the firelights. I’ll get the others in Entrasol” she commanded before taking off. 

She found her body was compelled to move a little faster now, things were finally starting to come together, all of Zaun was on the same page for the first time. The smallest spec of hope began to bloom in her gut. And she couldn’t help but realize she hadn’t felt that in years.

….

….

…

She pinched the bridge of her nose between her fingers, her eyes squeezing shut as if the simple gesture could stop the flood of memories working their way back up. She didn’t want to think about everything that happened after that…

But there she lay, her home remained too quiet, the kind of quiet that left no room to hide from her thoughts. 

As she sat up she grabbed the folder and looked the folder over in her hand. The weight of the decision settled into her chest. This was it, there was no other option. 

[ladydaybreaker]

Projects for the Future

Alright so...I kinda got bit by this a while ago but have been mulling it over with some friends. These are by no means going to get published any time soon but with some...questionable...things that have been put out lately I kinda wanted to show my take and how I would have done them.

These are both Role swaps by the way and because I'm me...

That means an absolutely heavy amount of Khori.

(put below the "read more" for mobile people's ease!)

First Story:

Role swap where Uzi had been the one that died that night Nori should have. Now I know what you're thinking, "but lady, you said Khori things..." and you'd be right! 'Cuz Khan's not Uzi's dad in this one. Our DDs are Serial Designation: K, Serial Designation: A and Serial Designation: L (that last one might get changed). Better known as their canon counterparts Khan, Alexei and Liam (again, last one might change). Nori is still the damaged 002 from CFL and Yeva is still 048 as well. What had happened was when Nori and Yeva escaped the labs, Nori was damaged in a way that her memory had shorted out and she barely remembered anything from it...just that there was some dark place that she didn't want to remember and that she had met Yeva there. They had escaped both with two UNNs who became known as Uzi and Doll. At least...Nori came out with Uzi. Her father is unknown (mainly because Nori's memory is damaged) and likely perished in the wake of the collapse trying to get Nori and Uzi out.

Uzi ends up dying as a child from one of the Disassemblers and it absolutely breaks Nori. Nori insists her daughter is ok and alive just...unable to come home. So she waits for a good amount of time every day by the doors until Yeva takes her home or she falls asleep (which Yeva picks her up and brings her back to the apartment). Yeva does not have the heart to tell Nori that Uzi is dead nor does she have the heart to talk about what happened to them down in the labs...about the Solver and everything. Nori's Solver seems to have regressed (but a lot of this is Yeva slipping oil into Nori's drinks and food to make sure she doesn't go into rampage mode). Doll and Yeva's husband (unnammed atm) end up dying to one of the Disassemblers (haven't decided...but it's probably going to be the third one, whether that's L or whatever person I give that swap to). So yay Doll swap is now Yeva.

Nori one day ends up running out of the colony, in a daze probably mourning her daughter and husband when she runs into K. Ends up beating him with a wrench and knocking him into a clear state (or she ends up saving him from a bad hunt where he was injured because she knows that look...and she hates that look of loss and defeat.)

Cue the whole thing of them figuring out what the Solver is yada yada. Ends up going to the labs where K ends up running into (and getting saved by) a very small and grumbly Solver core...Nori was right, Uzi survived. Barely. She's...none too happy her mother's dating a freaking sky demon because "THOSE THINGS KILLED YOUR FREAKING DAUGHTER!" But eventually comes to accept her Mom is...happy. And even more happy with both her AND K in her life...will eventually get it so Uzi gets her own body again. Yeva ends up connecting with A, the big bear of a Disassembler who...may have lost just as much as she did before. Eventually ends up with them having a kid who Yeva names after the daughter she lost long ago.

Second Story

So, this one is also a swap au but...with a tiny little twist. It's an age swap. Yes yes I know this is cringe af and weird but hear me out. I know there's an age swap with Uzi being the Mom and Khan being her son but, imma be blunt, I don't think it...feels like a proper swap. Rather it just...took the original personalities of the person they were swapping with and gave them to the person playing the role. Ain't happening here. The idea is Khan Doorman is the shining star student, valedictorian genius of his class beloved by everyone in that bunker, kinda...weird in the way he's too smart for his own good but he's charismatic. . . and then there's his absolutely batty insane mother Uzi who is a pariah menace to society and everyone fears to get on the bad end of her little 'projects' (she has magnetized people to the ceilings because they pissed her off). Khan and his mother have a strained relationship...mainly because she thinks he's boring and needs to lighten up a bit and he thinks she's a bit...wild...and lashing out ever since his father Emmett Doorman died years ago. But they do love each other and would do anything for each other. Which...is why Khan gives chase to his absolutely insane mother when she sneaks out of the safety of the bunker to kill a Murder Drone. He ends up instead finding Tall, Dark and Pretty Serial Designation (Nori. I haven't quite decided what letter to give her because well...technically it'd be N because first letter). And her squadmates Serial Designation Y(eva) and (haven't figured out who the third one is yet, whoopsies...possibly L for Luke or A for Alice).

Of course, Khan is infected with the Solver, Uzi I haven't decided if she is or not...part of me is like "give her a break and have her just be awesomely crazy and angsty on her own that she made 002 fall head over heels for her". And SD Nori finds Core Emmett in the mines...which would lead to a heartbreaking Nuzi moment later as Uzi actually...breaks the edgy angry persona and shows vulnerability as she hugs the love of her life close to her...as she thought she'd lost him forever. And me being me, Y ends up being enamoured with Khan's best friend and madlad sharpshooter Alexei because you can pry him from my cold dead hands...

I haven't really gotten much on those swaps other than the bits of where Khan, Nori, Yeva, Alexei and Uzi fit in. But I wanted to share them because they've been rattling in my brain long enough...

[seulgishaku]

Nico may never outright say it, but Jason knows Nico loves him.

It's the small things. He asks to help with Jason's work. He let's Jason run his hands through his hair. He takes off Jason's glasses when he accidentally falls asleep with them on and yes, Jason noticed.

He let's Jason wipe his tears away after a particularly bad nightmare. He does the same for Jason. He brings Jason food from the mess hall when he forgets to eat, Nico remembers.

There are no "I love you's". Instead there are "can you please stay" and "I cherish the time we spend together".

It all means the same to Jason. Everyone loves differently, and he happens to love the way Nico loves him.

[theokusgallery]

Why, hello there, Virgil. Long time no see!

[dee-snut]

Forgot to post this cringe I drew from last year

[rustycottoncandy]

I should draw my fursona more often

[sopuu]

are you gonna make a fic or a comic or smth for your champion jesse au? just curious!

yes!! there is a comic coming up!!! :D im gonna get a wips post up once ive got enough to show including stuff from another thing im working on (twitter folks you've probably already seen it tho)

and ngl i've been entertaining the idea of writing something for plot points i might not be able to handle if i did comics..? but i don’t know what my narrative skills are like lol and that part is far far away anyways, so we’ll see

[oveliagirlhaditright]

"Miss You" by Sweetbox. Somewhat inspired by how one of the Buffy writers said that she thought one of the reasons Buffy and Angel really resonated with people in season three, was how even though they truly loved each other, that still wasn't enough to make it work for them. And sometimes that is the case with real life relationships too, of course.

[elizaisdunn]

been super busy lately and haven't been able to create anything of substance. but here's a sketchy thing I made of one of my OCs! her name is Meg and I love her very much :)

[hyperfixation-tangentopia]

Mm because I've been feeling kinda sucky about my art for the last week nice little self-improvement post over the past ehh 5 months or so?

Under a cut because it's literally just some art I've already posted from the last 5 months (literally the first finished drawing of LMK I did far back. It's literally only been 5 months why does it feel like a year. Geeze.) so I can see tasty improvement but uhh yeah

[babisawyer]

paramount+ has given up on me suddenly so I've only been able to watch a tiny bit of scream 6 so far.

[uchiha-gaeshi]

Issues with Writing a Self-Insert #1

In case y'all didn't know, I've been going through a reflective period recently, and I've noticed that fear of what others think has held me back in almost every single aspect of my life, and unfortunately fandom is no exception.

I remember when I was like 14 and I tried to write fanfiction for the first time (I don't remember even what fandom I was writing for). Unfortunately, I could barely type a single paragraph without immediately deleting all that I wrote and being overly critical of my lack of writing ability. Even at that age, in the privacy of my dorm room, I couldn't shake off the fear of failure (and I mean howw?? I wasn't the only 14 year old trying to write Wattpad fanfiction). I remember comparing myself to some of my peers who had an amazing talent for writing. For me, I didn't get jealous, but rather I got intimidated, so intimidated that instead of continuing on with something and being imperfect at it, I'd just drop the entire activity altogether.

Because of this habit, I missed out on a lot of potential opportunities for growth during this time. I guess I saw people who were amazing, assumed that they popped out of the womb like that or something, and just....gave up. If I could go back in time, I would tell young me to embrace the cringe, embrace the mess. So what if people laugh or look at you funny or immediately stop whispering to each other once they see you? It sucks, but you will find your people, and you will survive. Trying to be palatable to everyone just means that you stifle yourself.

Years later, I wanted to get back into fanfiction, but this time with very little creative writing experience. What held me back was the fear that someone would read something that I wrote and ridicule it for being something that only an angsty teen would write, except that I am no longer an angsty teen but an unfortunately angsty adult riddled with insecurity, and that reality would just make that hypothetical comment sting even more (that's another thing about me. I create hypothetical ways for people to roast me in order to talk myself out of doing stuff).

[chocolate-cream-soldier]

///

[olivescardigans]

so sorry ladies but I've been Talking to a guy (as the kids say) and I think im falling for him.............

[spoondoodles]

over and over i fuck myself over and under and under i do it again

hi sorry it's been a while as you can see i got into animation and it's ruining my life. also been focusing on oc stuff for a bit so posting got behind me. maybe i'll post more oc/ttrpg stuff in the future i started a new campaign and the kingmaker ttrpg i've been playing in finally found our kingdom so big news everwhere. anyway here's a still of the animation of my little lamb and the god that lives in daer head