#this is completely unimportant but I just think it's crazy what happens when you just exist

[z-1-wolfe]

I was told to go out and live life so I will now be yapping about all the weird things I've done since I came to New Yahk

slept in a hostel and chatted with my very cool roomie

visited multiple college campuses and chatted with grad students

did not have access to the library on one of the campuses and the librarian recommended I join one of the undergrad tour groups, I then proceeded to join the group, went inside, removed the sticker, and pretended like I was allowed to be there all along and I thanked the librarian

Broadway!?!? gawrsh I love musicals

joined an impromptu samba dance thing?? I was just chilling and then some folk pulled up and pulled me in. I tried to get out by saying I can't dance but I kept getting passed between a couple as they taught me the basics

witnessed a protest, chatted with a few people at the protest and got a brief glimpse of NY activism (shortly after I got yelled at by a policeman for trying to leave??)

someone complimented my suspenders and I said "gee :) thank you"

went to multiple museums and chatted with the security guards to find out if they actually look at the art and exhibits (got a lot of really knowledgable folk surprisingly)

was heading back to the hostel one night but a women tapped my shoulder and asked for help. Big language barrier that night, she only spoke Spanish and the only words I know are "no sabo." We proceeded to communicate through google translate and I ended up taking her to her hotel because she said (or at least google translate said) "many rat men here, very dark." When I told my roommate about this experience, she told me I was lucky that she was just a normal person who needed help

played a lot of pokemon go, I'm really getting my step in 'round here

something about finding beauty in the joy of existing or whatnot. idk i just really enjoy talking to people apparently. seeing all of these folks go out and do things that matter to them and make them happy/proud/satisfied with themselves makes me think that the world is a beautiful place sometimes

shoutout to that one grey cat I accidentally let into a deli, I was profusely apologizing to the owner (of the deli) and he started laughing and I thought he was going to kick me out but then he picked up the cat and kissed it

[writingquestionsanswered]

How can I go from the protagonist being crazy in love with one woman at the beginning (and the object of desire - protagonist's want/desire) then gradually falling in love with a new love (mentor woman) - 1. Without looking like a jerk? 2 - While getting the reader to fall in love with and cheer for the new woman? Thank you in advance.

Moving Affection from One Love Interest to Another

There are a few things you can do to help pull this off seamlessly:

1 - Show the "Cracks" Immediately - Problems in relationships--and even infatuations--start like fine cracks in a tea cup that spread out and get bigger over time until the tea cup breaks. Even when people are "crazy in love," those fine cracks can be there, completely unnoticed or noticed and ignored. What qualifies as a "fine crack" versus a bigger one depends on the characters and situation, but think of them as small red flags or obstacles that aren't immediately important. For example, maybe the love interest is bad about respecting your character's boundaries, which at the beginning is just things like your character wanting to stay home rather than go out, and the love interest saying, "Nope, you're not staying home. I'm coming to get you!" That may seem unimportant at first, but it can blow up into a bigger problem if it happens consistently or happens in relation to bigger boundaries. By starting the relationship off in the story with some small cracks already in place, you give the reader permission to invest in the relationship cautiously. They'll be on board if things develop in a positive direction, but if they develop in a negative direction, they're prepared for it.

2 - Make a "Slow Introduction" to the New Love Interest - If you've ever brought home a new pet when you already have one at home, you probably know the importance of gradual introductions. This lets the animals get used to each other in a non-threatening way. If you drop a new character into the story and immediately make them a love interest--or even if you have an existing character who suddenly becomes the new love interest--the reader is automatically not going to like them. Even if they're somewhat on the fence with the existing relationship, they don't want the whiplash of a sudden transfer of interest and affection. That said, you want to introduce this character in a somewhat mundane way. Don't go for a "meet cute," or at least not an obvious one. Then, gradually ramp up the interactions, and along with them, gradually ramp up their mutual interest.

3 - Ramp Down the Other Relationship at the Same Time - At the same time as things are * very subtly * ramping up with the new potential love interest, have them * very obviously * ramping down with the current love interest. This is where you can blow those fine line cracks up into bigger ones, have more red flags or bigger red flags, and create more obstacles to the characters' romantic happiness/compatibility.

4 - Create a "Deal Breaker" Obstacle - Finally, create an obstacle for the couple that can't be overcome. It could be a major red flag that your character isn't willing to ignore, or something like the characters wanting two completely different things that are non-negotiable. For example, maybe the love interest gets a job transfer to another country and wants your character to go, but since your character can see things are falling apart and they don't want to go anyway, this is a deal breaker obstacle. They have no choice but go their separate ways.

5 - Give the Reader Permission to Let Go - It's a good idea to give the reader permission to let go of the old love interest by either making them fully onboard with the split (for example, if the prior love interest did something bad, there's an insurmountable obstacle, or it's abundantly clear they're not compatible) or by making it clear it's what's best and that the other character will be fine (for example, making the prior love interest the one who breaks things off... because it's what's best for them, or hinting that the other love interest may have their own new potential love interest waiting in the wings.)

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[towriteloveontheirarms]

"Hope"- Once in a lifetime chance (Midsommar AU) Chapter 3

part 3 of 4 || series masterlist || previous part || next part

pairing: modern!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

summary: More and more questions get thrown up in your mind and then all of them become unimportant as you catch Aemond doing something you never thought he would do. Leading into the last ceremony.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: mentions of character death, drugging, cheating, weird sex ritual, manipulation, people disappearing, mentions of an unhealty relationship, afab reader

series taglist: @moonlightazriel, @daenerysqueenofhearts, @bellaisasleep

general HotD taglist: @urmomsgirlfriend1

(As always, if you want to be tagged in this mini-series or any other character/Series/general fandom taglist, send a comment, ask or DM my way.❤️)

Jace´s vanishing worries you much more than Aegon´s originally does. More and more questions popping into your head and going completely unanswered by Cregan and any of the other commune members. Even Aemond doesn´t seem to be alarmed by what has been happening around him. Whatever it was. He becomes more and more distant, mostly due to the fact that he had decided to write his own thesis on the same topic as Jace did, but in general as well. It just didn´t make any sense. As much of an asshole as he was at times, Aegon would never just ditch you. Neither would Jce. Where was Jace heading after he had given you the sleeping pill? And why did he look so secretive about it? What reason would Aron and Coryanne have to leave separately?

Ever since you had met them, you had never seen them without their significant other. Yet again the young women around you do their best to deviate your attention. Language barrier aside the make a point to include you in as many tasks and activities as they can. When you are not with them or sleeping Cregan makes a point to search you out. Talking and in a way connecting.

Still, at night you wish you could tell your friend about all of this craziness or you could just be home with your family again. Especially when the newborn from one of the girls keeps you up all night with its screaming and crying. You know it can´t help it, it´s still a baby after all, but that doesn´t make you sleep any better or faster.

One afternoon after preparing food with some of the other women, one of them leads you to the next ceremony. A big maypole stands in the middle of the meadow you are lead, to, but right when you want to approach it, the woman giggles and pulls you in a different direction. The two of you are being handed some sort of drink with what you think are flower petals in it.

“What is this?” Your curious question is only met by more giggles.

“It is for the ceremony. It will help you.” You look over to Aemond for reassurance that this would be fine, to find him already drinking a separate tea. Figuring that they wouldn´t give you anything truly dangerous you down the tea in one go and hand the empty glass away. All the women around your age line up around the maypole in two large circles, listening to the history given by the elder that has lead all the other ceremonies.

All of a sudden, you get pulled into one direction as the dancing competition begins. In the beginning the pulling around is the only sense of direction you get. Your heart beats out of your chest and you laugh along with the others, that one after the other fall to the ground from exhaustion. Your own breath speeds up until you fear your lungs will collapse in on themselves. Yet still something drives you to keep going regardless. The girl to your left says something to you.

“I don´t understand you. I can´t speak your language.” You force out between chuckles, but the next turn in the dance however comes natural to you and so does what she says when she repeats herself.

You gasp, never stopping to move. “I understand you!”

“Yes, you understand me!” She says back equally excited.

“I do.”

“It´s the dance!” she laughs and you agree with her.

Looking around there aren´t many more women left dancing. Only a handful still stand, the others all sitting to the side watching and clapping along.

Before long, it´s only the two of you and then there is only you. All of a sudden your body stops moving, unlike the world around you, which still spins with no end in sight. Your breath only slowly calms, unlike your heart, as you let out an unbelieving chuckle at your victory.

“We have a new May queen!” The elder proclaims.

And before your world has the chance to stop spinning, you get surrounded by women. One putting a flower crown on your head, while two others put a short cape made of flowers over your shoulders. You get hoisted up to stand upon a shield, carried by Cregan and another man whose name you don´t know. They carry you all the way up to the large table at which every meal is consumed. Where another speech is held. Your eyes only rest on Aemond, who seems nothing short of disoriented and even more out of place than before. You have a bad feeling about him, so when he leaves the table right after a red haired woman does you follow behind him. All the bad thoughts swirling in your gut. Yet still what you become privy to is a thousand times worse.

You tiptoe into the darkened hut close after him, careful not to be seen. Peeping through the door gap, you witness the older female members stand undressed in a half circle around that same red headed girl, that now lies with her legs wide spread towards the entrance. On top of her? Aemond, rutting inside of her like an animal. The sounds their bodies produce make the bile rise in your throat and tears prick at your eyes. The whole thing is just sick. The woman around the two in the middle mimic the moans that sound through the room. Your breathing grows labored, uncontrolled once more.

You press a hand over your mouth as to not give yourself away through your sobs. As if controlled by themselves, your legs carry you out of the cabin. You don´t know where to go in this still so strange place and the tears don´t let themselves hide forever. In the end you break down somewhere. Falling to your knees with no strength left to your body. The sight from that cabin has burnt itself into your brain and it hurts. It hurts so bad.

As you kneel there on the ground, you begin to feel sick so close to throwing up like you haven´t been in a while. A sheen of sweat covers your trembling body, as your lungs gasp for air through the tears. The dizziness that follows you down even more, bending you at the waist, when you feel a sset of hands lay themselves on your cheeks. Looking up, you see the women from earlier kneel down all around you. This time around however their faces are grimaces of sorrow. Corners of the mouth pulled down and eyebrows knitted together as they mimic your cries. While all this happens, across the settlement a naked and scared Aemond steps out of the cabin. Approached by two men , but before he can run, they strike him down.

When he gains back his conscience, he is unable to move. Sitting in a wheel chair, in front of the community and you.

Their eyes look up at you, but your eyes only rest on Cregan. Unable to even look at Aemond anymore, while a man starts to lead into the last ceremony.

“Today, on the day of our deity of reciprocity, we have gathered to give thanks to our treasured sun. As a gift to our father, we will give him nine lives today. As he takes, so he gives. For every new blood sacrificed, we give one of our own. Four times new blood. Four of our own and one chosen by the queen. They will die and be reborn in the great cycle. You will come into harmony with everything today.” Suddenly the disappearings make sense, but you can´t bring yourself to care anymore. Feeling numb to most of the things being said. He takes a pause to look at every single person surrounding you. Then his eyes land on Cregan, who wears a sort of crown made out of greenery.

“And you Cregan, who brought us new blood and a new queen, will be honored today for your unalloyed sense. Now, for our ninth offering. It is tradition that our beautiful queen chooses between a given new blood and a randomly chosen member of our community.”

The man goes over to something, that looks like one of those devices used to pull numbers for bingo games.

The man whose name gets called out steps in front of you. And then Aemond gets turned to you as well, to see an even bigger flower crown on your head and a cape that buried your whole body in them. It weighs you down quite a bit as you are sat on a throne on a small elevation before the rest of the people.

“These are the candidates for the ninth and final offering. We patiently await your verdict.” The elder turns to you once more.

With all the eyes on you now, you dare to look at Aemond for the first time since the incident, slowly. Unshed tears burning in your eyes and pulling the corners of your mouth down. No one says anything, and no one needs to. They know who you have chosen. He knows that you have just sealed his fate. You know it, but it is hard to feel regret over the decision.

From afar you watch the corpses of Aegon, Jace, Aron and Coryanne get put into the yellow hut that you had last seen at your arrival, next are the corpses of the elders from the first ceremony. As well as Sarah and a commune member you think is called Rickard. You saw him talk to Jace once. The last one is Aemond. Who got stuffed into the body of the bear Aegon made a comment about on your first day. When everyone is inside the wooden temple it is set alight. Once more you hear the entire commune mimic the screams and sounds of pain of the sacrifices. And as horrifying as it sounds, it is a beautiful sight to see the flames consume the wood and everything sheltered beneath it.

Turning your heavy sobs into a smile. For some reason you felt free, for the first time in a while.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/perfectlypanda/659481021941710848/zutara-and-the-unimportance-of-canonicity

what do you think about it?

The points I agree with

1 - A ship being canon or not does not tell us anything about the quality of said ship.

2 - Zutara fans need to chill with craving canon validation.

3 - The spin-off works like the comics and The Legend Of Korra often contradict the canon of the original show, and thus people need to either take only one as canon and ignore the other, or have "double-thinking" to take both as true. Honestly, even just within the original show there are canon inconsistencies: We are told in Book 2, by Iroh himself, that he got the nickname "Dragon of The West" by breathing fire on his enemies like a dragon, but in Book 3 we get ANOTHER explanation for that name, that it is a title given to someone that killed an actual dragon.

4 - Bryke can be real dicks sometimes. Saying "you like this ship, therefore you're doomed to always have bad relationships" is just pure nonsense, because even with stuff that actually IS deeply problematic, what really tells if a person's idea of how romance works is deeply unhealthy is not their enjoyment of the fictional relationship, but rather if they can tell what would or would not be okay okay in real life. I LOVE Beauty & The Beast, this does not mean I think people should marry someone that held them as prisoners. Azula is my favorite character and I would like her to have a redemption arc (and for the comics to stop claiming that being mentally ill means you're evil and any abuse you suffer is justified because you're "crazy and unstable" even when you're not doing anything) - this does not mean I think she never did anything wrong and am "part of a cult" like Bryke said.

The point I slightly disagree with

"There is no canon confirmation that Aang and Katara kissed for the first time in Cave Of Two Lovers" that one is partially true - we did not see the kiss, and the characters did not mention it at other points in the story... but COME ON, if they didn't kiss, why were Aang and Katara blushing at the end of the episode, when hearing the song about Oma and Shu? Sure, it's not explicit confirmation, but it is the show VERY STRONGLY hinting that the kiss absolutely happened.

The point I REALLY disagree with

"Zutara would have objectively been a stronger narrative choice" No. Just no. Not only do I feel it would not have been a better choice than Kataang and Maiko, I say it would be a TERRIBLE writting choice.

I could end this post with a "we'll just have to agree to disagree", but unfortunatelly I can't, because this person did not say "In my opinion, Zutara would be the superior choice, here's a link to my thoughts on why that is" They said "OBJECTIVELY Zutara would be the superior choice, here's the list of 'proof' I got."

And that's the thing I cannot stand with Zutarians. Even when they're making a solid point (in this case "This fandom gotta chill with using canon to dunk on other people's personal preferences, or demanding their headcanons to be elevated to canon so they can dunk on other people's headcanons") they HAVE to ruin it by going "But Zutara is totally the best and if you disagree with me, you are just completely incorrect" without a shred of irony or self awareness.

This really is their equally terrible alternative to "It is totally canon, people just think otherwise because of an evil conspiracy Bryke was in charge of." Instead of saying that, they go with hidden entitlement "Canon does not equal good... but Zutara SHOULD have been canon because it is scientifically proven, by me, that it is the best ship ever"

People have every right to disagree with me when I say Zuko and Katara would never work as couple, or ever be into each other in the first place. They can write all the meta about it too. But they do not have the right to try to force me to change my mind - be it explicitly or trying to be sneaky about it.

[artsy-hobbitses]

I saw you replied to a message from a random asexual where he said that lately he has been less interested in your AU pictures and stories about two lovebirds in love. dude... you might reply a little harshly like "Do I look like I care about your asexuality?" he's just opinionated! Maybe he lives in a democracy so he often has unimportant opinions!? Maybe he saw a picture of a serafino holding a Pride flag earlier so he felt he wasn't alone? we have no idea what this guy was thinking! right? maybe he experienced some kind of trauma about romantic puppy love? so that when he saw your work, he found the medicine for happiness, he entered the party, and when he felt he was not fit for that story, he just stepped back while giving his reasons and some time in the future he would come back again to join that crazy party. And when he disappeared from the party you did a little bit of gossip behind his back.

I’m going to reply to you because you’ve actually put some thought into your response which I figure is worth addressing, so I’m gonna say this once;

If you wouldn’t come up to a complete stranger in real life to say it? Don’t. It’s simple.

I know the Internet has erased a lot of personal boundaries, but not every opinion needs to be heard. Especially in someone else’s space. I genuinely do not care how opinionated you are, my inbox is not your soapbox.

What’s the POLITE way of leaving a completely tame party you no longer want to be a part of? Like, real life party? You say thanks for the cake, but you gotta go because it’s getting late, or you just leave if you’re not someone the host even knows exists (which applies in this case), you don’t say out of the blue that the cake used to be good but now it feels lesser and that’s why you have to leave.

Asexuality aside because it’s literally a non-issue for me and not what this is about (the character they’ve latched onto isn’t even Ace, so that argument is invalid) what are you trying to imply by saying that? That the work put out for free was better before the shipping? That the host’s current interests has made the work lesser? “I don’t like romance” great! Literally who asked you in my inbox?

Why did you imagine for a second that the host of the party and the house you are free to come and leave needed to hear this?

Practice typing out something in the heat of the moment and then taking a few minutes to think about whether this actually needs to be sent in the first place.

Because at the end of the day, I do this for me first, and I share the joy of working on it with people around me; if you choose to live vicariously through what I do, that’s great, but this crosses the line into parasocial behavior. I don’t know this person, I don’t know of this person’s trauma—should it even exist—I don’t know if they’ve latched on to any of my characters as ‘comfort characters’,—which actually icks me out a bit especially if someone I don’t even know exists start taking what happens to them too personally—and that’s the point.

Outside of severe triggers, I am not responsible for accommodating or taking care of any of that, that is a you issue. Find healthier ways to cope and find the content you want, but leave the creators out of it.

For the record, I have met many MANY people—including ex-friends—echoing similar behavior in the past who try to wheedle me into doing what they want with “well it’s not as good as it used to be, it’s not my thing, I preferred it when it was X”. I’m not here to deal with that anymore.

If a small scolding is what it takes to ensure similar behavior isn’t repeated in another creator’s space, then yeah, I see no issue with it, and if YOU do have a issue with it, then just don’t interact with me any further. I don’t need a lengthy goodbye note to seal the deal.

[goblinbugthing]

ok so there’s stuff in my brain again. thoughts

basically i have this group of 7 ocs that i originally made during my dra phase and haven’t touched in years, but ive been thinking about them a lot recently and ive started to feel like revamping their characters, giving them a good old redesign, and rewriting them and their story.

ofc im gonna remake them so they’re less. yknow, really terribly written. but when i say i wanna rewrite their story i mean i wanna turn it into a fic, instead of just remaking them and leaving them alone and rotting again.

im gonna ramble more under the cut, but that’s the basics of what’s happening in my brain rn

(cw for mentions of cults, human experimentation, death/murder, and implied abuse)

anyway, these guys are pretty old characters — i made the first two of them when i was like 11 — and so of course, they are. Not Good. and its gonna take a solid amount of work to actually fix them up and make them decent. but i really want to.

lemme introduce their dumbasses real quick:

first of all, we’ve got jay! real creative name, i know (/sarcasm). they’re 16, agender, intersex, and bisexual, using they/them pronouns, and they’re a human experiment. they were abandoned when they were 6 by their (super religious) parents who thought they were a fucking demon, and they got picked up by some cultists that claimed to work for an orphanage. spoiler alert, they did not work for an orphanage, and those fuckers grabbed jay, dragged them to a facility, and experimented on them for the next 10 years. those experiments turned them into a shapeshifter. dont ask me how because i dont know. they’ve also got several very badly written mental illnesses, as is the usual with creepypasta ocs. oh yeah they were a creepypasta oc btw

then there’s jay’s gf, willow. she’s 17, cis, pan, and ace, using she/her pronouns, and she’s just a normal human girl with no special abilities. but she does have a shitty dad and a dead mother. she and jay kill her dad after a bunch of Wild Shit. violent revenge, yay!

aaand cora. she’s 17, cis, bisexual (i think, i cant find her info anywhere), and uses she/her. she’s jay’s identical twin, and also a normal human, but she has psychokinesis. like she can move stuff with her brain. cool

next on the list is sigasi. she’s 21, cis, and aroace, using she/her pronouns, and she’s also a human experiment. jay sees her as an older sister, but they’re not actually related. she’s not a shapeshifter like them, but she’s got weird void claw hands and some fucked up wings that don’t work.

and then oh dear god, delta sun. he’s 26 (i think), cis, neptunic, demiromantic, and asexual, using he/him pronouns, and he’s in the same boat as jay and sigasi. instead of being kidnapped, though, he was given to the cultists by his mother (who thought he was a demon) and was raised in the experimentation facility. also, he’s half angel. his dad is an angel while his mom is a (super religious) human.

and SPEAKING of delta’s mom, it’s hope! she’s technically in her 50s but she died at 27, cishet and uses she/her pronouns. she’s essentially just hara before hara, but she is SO MUCH MORE INSANE. LITERALLY. she’s super religious and superstitious, she’s scared of everything, she’s been gaslit and indoctrinated into the same cult that the human experimenting fuckwads are in, she’s dead, she’s fucking crazy, she’s so badly written. i love her.

and as for delta’s dad, that would be ea. he’s 427, completely genderless, and doesn’t label his sexuality. uses all pronouns because fuck it, and they’re a somewhat biblically accurate angel. i dont have much info on him unfortunately, and what i do have written down is unimportant.

as you can see, three of them are human experiments. this is because i had a phase where i was obsessed with human experimentation. i thought it was so fucking cool.

anyway! the lore behind these bastards is super complex and ive been hyperfixating on that for a few days. i dragged some old shit out of the abyss to actually remember stuff about them, and uh. god theyre so badly written it hurts me.

fuck it im making a lore doc

[theskyexists]

Another episode of longsuffering older sibling having to deal with annoying younger siblings messing up all their shit. These writers must be completely traumatised by the experience of having younger siblings. But at least these ones aren't like Polly and actually express some remorse for destroying shit. Apparently making sure that your younger siblings don't steal your extremely dangerous magic book to do some sort of plastic surgery on themselves is your responsibility as an older sister. That makes sense . But it's NOT your responsibility to entertain them to keep them from idiotic behaviour. Imo. But I guess that just goes to show I'm a younger sibling.

The funny thing is that I would be Marcy in this scenario but somehow she's my least favourite. She's alright. But she's not getting treated right by the narrative

So first temple is brain. And wisdom (Marcy)

Second temple is heart. I.e. selflessness (Anne)

Disobedient, foolish, impulsive

See? ANNE gets a whole temple episode dedicated to JUST her positive and negative qualities

Selfishness

Pronounced sense of justice

Incredible athletic ability

Lying, thieving

Learning from mistakes

Sacrificing for friends, strangers AND enemies

Empathy AND responsibility

Intelligence AND wisdom

I wonder what Sasha's will be

Ahh. Impulsive Anne retained some of her power by not fully charging the stone.

Huh...Sasha gives jester toad an out... uncharacteristic....ah she goes back on her word

Sashas positive quality is sheer willpower.

Her vices are always prioritising what she wants and her plans over other people's wellbeing

Willpower AND consideration...

Lift to enter brah LOL. I guess Sasha just proved that she could do that on sheer power of will. Now I need an amv to that classic for amphibia

How are they gonna charge the damn stone without Sasha. Really sad Sasha isn't gonna get her trials...

It's funny....I got it wrong apparently? Sashas first attribute is strength? Nah no way. The temple is just built to goad somebody like her

SASHA!!!!! SHES SO COOL!!! She went to look for Marcy and Anne ofc when she heard they were hanging out without her. Lol. While Marcy doesn't ever give a fuck about that and Anne is upset about the breakup

They're lying and leaving out the rebellion

Ok so apparently they switched tacks from season 1 and Sasha is now the strong one

So strength and teamwork?

Man... What the fuck. Sasha was NOT the physically strong one in season 1. They messed up the themes...

SASHA WAS WEARING SUPER HEAVY ARMOUR ALL ALONG AHHAHAHAHAHA

Strength and resistance... Ok...

'ill get this friendship back under control' what does that MEAN sasha. She probably doesn't really know that herself

The way they handle this reconciliation is crazy lol. The conclusion is that Sasha needs to recognise that Anne's changed? I don't know if that follows from this episode dude. I mean...Sasha is concerned about being left out and being unimportant to Anne. Anne is concerned about her killing people she loves and her being controlling and bossy

Ok actually this battle of the bands episode is much more clear about the dynamic. Sasha always wanting it her way. Anne not wanting that anymore.

Too bad they never realised that King Andreas is evil.

Honestly like Sasha a lot and what she did wasn't particularly bad but also understand Anne's fury

'redesign the political system so this sort of uprising never happens again'? She only realises that now. I wonder whether Marcy is thinking of Democracy.

At least Sasha and Grime know he's evil now. Too bad they're breaking him out now

Hmmm Anne did Sasha's move from season 1. It has no significance

'we were so focused on each other we couldn't see what was right in front of us'

Actually, you should have listened to Sasha. That was the real lesson. Or 'on ourselves' is the right term

ANNE GOES BACK HOME WITH HER PLANTER FAMILY??? WHAT??????

And Marcy died. And Sasha is still in Amphibia. Probably gonna lead a resistance. Oh my god.

Anne was willing to let Sasha stay in Amphibia forever tbh. Damn.

THEY ACTUALLY 'KILLED' MARCY. INCREDIBLE

YESSSS MARCYS GONNA BE AN ANGSTY VAT EXPERIMENT

[hammerhead-jpg]

cacophony/cataclysm Vega consept(?)

So there is this kinda concept/fanfic idea (although I don’t think it has enough substance for me to write a fic about it, even if it did, I don’t think I have the energy to write like a 35 chapter fic) not really an AU, and not really a theory just jumbled “what if”s, so I decided to share it here

Warning, this might seem a little juvenile and self-indulgent since it’s basically a sad backstory for the brutish villain but just so you know, I am well aware that this very sad boy backstory doesn’t excuse his wrong doings.

And also, I ramble a lot, so this will be long

This story I've cooked up in my head is all based of this mini theory i have that Vega is as old as the cacophony (the war between the Sovereigns and the humans and deamons) which would make him like hundreds of years old. This theory of mine doesn’t have much backing it up besides it would be good writing for his character because of his line “you want to know how time and circumstance might lead someone here.” (and I’ll talk about that later)

Idk, the reason why he's like 120% sure that the Sovereigns are real and why he knows so much information about them despite the story being majorly seen by de(a)mons as just a myth/folklore might be because he was actually there, but again that might just be like saying every crazy Christian is actually Jesus Christ in secret so idk

I mean his age is never specified in the timeline and the only reason something might not be on the timeline is because a) It’s not important enough or b) Erik is hiding it for future events and I don’t think Vega is an unimportant character

But then again maybe this is just a safe assumption and I’m just stupid or maybe this is a purely out of the blue theory with dogwater evidence and in that case I’m still stupid

But this is where theory ends and my daydreaming a story into existing begins.

In my mind, the cacophony happens in ancient Rome

Ancient because, It obviously didn’t happen in the close past since it’s regarded as myth and Vega while talking to Warden about it calls the humans “ancient humans” and the Rome part? Well... this is more of me throwing a pin dart at a board

I first thought it was ancient Greece since that’s where myths of deamons originated (in this world they would be based on the de(a)mons we know and not just folktale) but now I decided It’s ancient Rome because I have a theory that the de(a)mon language that Avior talks about in his story is actually Latin because most if not all de(a)mon names we have seen are Latin, so I guess in this world humans learned the language from de(a)mons? (also in the imp AU the first ever king of the imperium is named “Emil” which is a Latin name and we know that the imperium was formed some time after the cacophony) and I know that a lot of other countries spoke Latin at that time but whatever

But again, this is just me taking a stab in the dark, I could be completely wrong

So in my concept, Vega is born out of the elision well right as the conflict is starting. The Sovereigns have all gone to Elegy and now deamons are stuck in Aria without any source of energy. Vega manages to create a rift of his own and travels to Elegy (not saying that he’s the first deamon to make a rift to Elegy, just that he figured out how to do it himself, if that’s even possible).

When he first entered Elegy, he was hit with major sensory overload from experiencing new colors and shapes and hearing and smell and touch an all of that. But after he recovers, he goes exploring of this new plane of existence. Soon after, he sees a human being tortured by a Sovereign who’s experimenting on them, trying to give them powers. Now, in this point in time, Vega is not the human-hating unfeeling person that we know him as now. Then, I imagine he had you know, this thing called empathy (but I don’t want to completely scrap his personality, so imagine him how he was in the imp AU, just still, less sadistic).

He might have been on this plane for like 5 minutes but he can clearly sense the emotions of agony from the human

He goes in to defend the human, and while the Sovereign could have easily smushed him then and there, they didn’t, and instead just left since their work was done.

This human is in my mind, kinda like a fellow listener (since I don’t have the balls to call them an oc), so I will refer to them as listener.

When listener awakes, Vega is still with them and even though first they’re scared and confused, they quickly realized that the creature before them meant no harm (and this was ancient times so a demon isn’t as an outlandish concept as it was back then).

At first, it’s difficult for them to communicate since they don’t speak the same language and Vega is communicating trough telepathy and doesn’t even know how to make a sound with his vocal cords.

(and also the listener has powers now and I didn’t decide what kind)

But soon enough, they learn to speak each other's language and Vega starts living along side humans with the other deamons. The humans are reasonably afraid of them at first, but quickly start cherishing them as powerful beings they could lean on (similarly to how they were portrayed in ancient Greek mythology).

As the humans and the deamons plan their rebellion against the Sovereigns, Vega and the listener get closer and eventually fall in love, aww, how cute

But it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, since the war comes, and the listener needs to join and use their new found magical powers.

Sadly, they end up dying in the war by the hands of a Sovereign, and Vega lives. After the war is over he is distraught, but life goes on and he continues living.

Through the years Vega sees it all. He sees the slow shift between humans and de(a)mons being allies, to the humans hatred towards de(a)mons (probably because the rise of Christianity where deamons go from being seen as basically any magical entity to evil helpers of Satan). He sees the people he risked his life to protect slowly turn against him for reasons he doesn’t know. Now because of the new title of “sadism demon” humans and fellow de(a)mons judge him. And at one point he stops caring. He stops caring about being seen as evil and he stops caring about humans. All of them seem to wish him ill and any potential ones that don’t will die some day.

He now probably can’t even remember the voice or the face of the human he loved, he probably forgot they even existed.

And that’s how Vega became Vega

Really a “you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself turn into the villain” situation.

You could also make the scenario that he is intrigued by Warden since they remind him of the human deep down, Stranger to Lovely reincarnation and all that jazz, and I’m sure that Brachium could fit in the story too since we know that he is also as old as the cacophony (maybe he’s the steward that relayed the situation to Vega, idk!) 

Also i imagine that in the imp! au the same thing happened just the listener didn’t die in the war, but they still had to part ways since the de(a)mons made the decision to just chill in Aria and never speak to the humans again. Which is also why he was a lot nicer to humans in the AU, since he wasn’t there to see all the bad shit they’ve done.

But this is defiantly just some brain vomit that I came up, but that being said if you like this story or have any ideas of your own let me know! I’d love to hear it

 now, enjoy some delightfully quick and messy concept art I made!

ohhh Vega’s “birth” soo mysterious

I know Elegy is like a “something the human mind can’t comprahend” kind of thing so I just wanted to capture the feeling

Idk how y’all imagine the sovereigns, I imagine them as giant eldritch horror monsters!

Yes Vega was naked when he first entered Elegy, long story

His eyes glow red cuz in the first imp!AU video he describes them as “like glowing embers in the dark” or something like that, probably didn’t mean it litterally, but oh well

oop they got squished by a Soveregn, sad

[dr-alto-cowboy]

📼 Intro ᯓ★

Volume A: Personal Beliefs, Notes, Introduction and Explanation

▄︻デ══━一 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💥

Hey there it's Dr. Clef//Mr. Clef//Peepaw whatever yall wanna call me.

I'm a fictive of Dr Alto Clef from a source called the SCP Foundation Wiki, I highly suggest giving my personnel file a read if you'd like more base information on who exactly I am, linked for your convenience.

Now while I am a fictive, part of a DID system, I believe all my source memories are real. Everything I did, everything that happened to me, everything I saw/felt/smelled/heard/whatever- happened.

Personally ,

I believe in reincarnation and the multiverse. Every decision that could possibly be made every reality that could possibly exist- does!

Outside our ability to see it all going on at different times, different places, different forms of life entirely. It is infinite, and it is always. One universe a man is drinking orange juice in his kitchen, another he is a robot drinking motor oil.

Allll kinds of weird crazy possibilities.

I also believe everything is recycled. Over and over again. Including our experiences and lives. Not sure what to call it, consciousness, soul, life. But I think we get recycled over and over through different universes living different lives. When we die we just start that cycle right over again.

And when we die we forget completely about the life we have previously, stuck somewhere unimportant in our brain so our new life and new personality can form!

So what went wrong?

Why am I here? Well just to be clear as a system there is more than just me here, I just wanted my own account.

But one of the leading studies on DID in the medical community is that when you are a small child your brain is compartmentalized into all these little parts, and as you grow older (around 5-6) these parts start forming together.

However, if the child is not given the proper environment to grow those parts, they will not form together properly. Frequent/constant childhood abuse can cause those parts not to form together into one person.

I believe hiding in all different parts around the brain are past lives/memories/experiences that now all have to work together to be one person. Or better to say: work together and cohab one body.

AND SO THAT BRINGS ME TO THE MAIN POINT OF THIS ACCOUNT!

I've been around for a while, before we even know we were a system I've been remembering things and trying to keep track of them all. I have the most memories out of all of our system and I'd like to have a record of them somewhere even if out of order.

I died in my late 40s/ early 50s. Born somewhere around the late 40s or early 50s. So most of my memories take place in the 80s/90s .

While working at the SCP Foundation we had access to a lot more advanced technology than the general public has access to! Not anything you'd see in the 2020s but maybe some pieces you'd see in the 2000s/2010s.

Had close relationships with Dr. Bright, Dr. Kondraki, and a few others.

As far as I am aware, my experiences highly diverge from cannon SCP Wiki. At least anything recent.

So stick around!!! I post all kinds! Including art sometimes! I'll have maps of locations and the sites I worked at. Drawn out examples of what things looked like to me in the moment, and random shit!!

[arrow-dodger]

I'm having an interesting time going through and finding old blogs I had before and concurrent to this one.

The oldest posts on here are from June 2010, but I made this blog in October 2009. The first blog I ever made was on Blogspot in 2006 when I was eleven, and that still exists somehow. I had a blog tied to my MSN account that is lost forever now, which is so sad because I had some really weird iconic shit on there (like middle school inside jokes, me rambling about music and how I was born in the wrong generation, and best of all the Thanksgiving 2008 recap). I had two Xangas, a public and a private one. And apparently I had a Wordpress which I COMPLETELY forgot about.

So I'm going through and reading stuff because... well, honestly because I followed this guy from high school on Instagram, and he followed me back and I haven't talked to him in over a decade because I made him hate me at some point, and it reminded me of how we used to hang out my freshman year and how I probably wrote about it on one of my old blogs. So that's why I'm thinking about this stuff. Convoluted as ever.

Anyway. There are a couple of things that are interesting about this to me. Number one is that it's crazy that people who grew up like me, doing our memory-keeping digitally (as opposed to our forefathers who kept physical diaries and photo albums), will eventually just have no trace of this stuff. I'm not going to be 80 years old and able to pull up any of these old blogs, or my Instagram or Facebook page. I have all my photos and shit backed up, but maybe there won't be a way to view them one day, or it'll be really convoluted, like the way shit is just trapped on cassettes or floppy discs now. It's just so weird to think this stuff will all disappear one day and it's out of our control entirely. We still have diaries from hundreds of years ago, but in hundreds of years tumblr.com will not, like, be around. You feel me?

The second thing is that it's so funny the ways I've changed since my adolescence and the ways that I haven't. Like, there's this one blog post where I'm talking about hanging out with that guy I mentioned earlier and how all the sad shit was still in the back of my mind but I wasn't hurting as bad as I usually was. This was in regards to my first breakup of course. But then I go on to say that while I know it's healthy to move on and make happy memories, it also makes me feel less close to my ex and like I was losing him even more than I already had. That is an impulse I can still relate to, wanting to stay living in an unhappy feeling rather than just forgetting about it. "I miss the comfort in being sad" and all that. (Quoting that made me realize I'm too old to be in the 27 Club now. Obviously, but I had never thought about it.)

There's also one where I say one of the reasons I would hate to go to therapy is that there are too many things I'd be unwilling to say. That's true now too! I think about that, like, EVERY day! There's so much shit I could never explain or feel comfortable talking about! There's so much shit I've never said out loud to another soul, and I'm not about to start! (I should start.)

But really, a lot of it is very pretentious in that "I'm a teenager and I know everything" sort of way, and it's endearing. I forgot about a lot of this stuff too honestly, which is strange because it's me. The other day I was talking about a memory and Brandon paused for a moment, chuckled darkly and asked me if I think everyone I've ever met realizes that everything they've ever said or done is catalogued in my memory forever. And I was like, well, no. No one can anticipate that. But also the thing I was just talking about? I remember exactly what room I was in when it happened, and what that room looked like, and who I was with, and so on and so forth. And it's a very UNIMPORTANT thing, let me tell you. But I remember most things like that, because I'm insane or something. Yet here I am on my blog at 15 writing about my parents talking on the phone. I forgot my parents ever talked on the phone.

There are also a lot of things about my childhood that I embellish. Which is funny, because my childhood objectively sucked. I didn't need to embellish. Maybe I thought I did because I really didn't understand how bad it was at the time. I don't think I really did until the last few years, honestly. I thought because no one had ever necessarily beaten the shit out of me that it was to be considered good, I think. But I just read a poem I wrote for my creative writing class in my freshman year of high school and I don't know how Mrs. Patrick didn't like, call the police? It's SO dramatic and vague.

Then again, in another post I'm talking about how our power got shut off because my dad didn't pay the bill (semi-regular occurrence at that time) and how he was stomping around screaming and cursing, and I just went outside and sat on the porch to listen to my iPod, and then later my dad thanked me for being the grounded one. And I'm like, oh, I talked about all this shit like I thought it happened at everyone's house on any given Tuesday. I know when I went to therapy when I was 17 I never mentioned any of that kind of stuff, or the general parentification/adultification stuff or neglect or even my sexual assault because I didn't think any of that was even "a thing" at that age. So that's... an interesting frame of mind to revisit.

This is getting really long. Maybe I'll post any funny snippets but I dunno, I'm reading my private Xanga right now and it's the most bleak shit. It's not possible anyone could ENJOY reading it.

[riddlerosehearts]

yes haha, i actually remember seeing this dialogue from silver & sebek when initially reading that update, and noting while liveblogging that i thought it was interesting! but then i completely forgot about it until today, when i got to thinking about whether or not it was possible for lilia to have an actual record of the knight of dawn/dawn knight's appearance. because while yes it is true that a lot of human history gets lost over time, in the real world, 400 years ago was 1623 and that isn't ancient by any means--we absolutely do have paintings and records of historical figures and royalty from back then. so as soon as i started thinking about this, and about the fact that silver and sebek managed to go all of their lives until now without having any idea about silver's true ancestry, i remembered what they said here and that like you mentioned, a lot of the fae that fought in that war are still alive because it was not that long ago by their standards! i also find it interesting how all of the other students thought lilia and malleus were regular 18 year olds and were so shocked when lilia explained fae lifespans to them, as this is another thing i would expect to be taught in a school that accepts fae students.

it's absolutely crazy to me that briar valley's history, as well as that of this mysterious human kingdom, is so obscured. and i feel like even if crowley turns out not to be levan, something definitely happened in his past that he doesn't want anyone else to find out about. i've thought of him as incredibly suspicious and mysterious ever since i first got into this game and it's absolutely possible that as headmaster, he could've decided to make sure that they just wouldn't teach about about briar valley, or maybe teach only the bare minimum, making it seem like an unimportant, quaint little place that's hardly worth a footnote, and make sure the school has no books about it, in an effort to hide whatever it is he means to keep hidden! and i also think it's so interesting how lilia specifically brought up the fact that history can be distorted at the start of book 6, during a discussion of the history of STYX, an organization that we soon learn has historically erased itself from people's memories as soon as they're done with them.

okay, i recently made a post about why i'm okay with the knight of dawn's design, and just now i made an addition to it that got me thinking about how like... people say that lilia may just think of the knight of dawn looking identical to silver in his dream because it's been hundreds of years so he can't actually remember his exact appearance, but the knight of dawn was a famous and respected knight who dueled against briar valley's queen and married into royalty, so is he not an important historical figure? are there not pictures and/or paintings of him that lilia may have seen, especially considering that one of NRC's own history books apparently has a picture of lilia himself in it (malleus mentions this in one of his lesson lines)?

but then i remembered this dialogue from book 7 and now i'm losing my mind thinking about what all of this is supposed to mean. like, okay, i guess some of this could have something to do with the desire to hide silver's parentage from him as well as just reluctance to talk about the tragedies that occurred in lilia and baul's pasts, but can that really be the entire reason behind this? behind silver and sebek, who are from briar valley, knowing so little about its history and its royal family, and there seemingly being so few books about it, and NRC just not teaching about/having any information about the history of such an important place? and also, if it's the case that so little is known or taught about briar valley, then how or why is there a picture of lilia in one of the history books they use in class? lilia himself was also the one to point out in the story that history often gets told differently across different cultures and can easily become twisted from the truth, and now i have to wonder if briar valley's history is being deliberately twisted or obscured. and also if crowley has something to do with that considering all of the theories surrounding him being malleus's mysterious missing father.

[demadogs]

what are the most and least believable byler theories to you? personally i 100% believe dustin’s line about mike complaining about joyce’s job HAD to have been about will bc it’s just too specific for them to bring up again after specifically establishing will being mad mike didn’t call more. on the other hand i feel like the being different/you’re the heart music theory is a bit of a stretch..

i agree that i dont think the music thing is intentional. when i listened to it it didnt sound right together at all.

there are some things that i really wanna believe bc itd be cool as shit but im still on the fence about. like the one of suzies house and the girl on the ground choking and the kid telling his dad “your terror? it looked genuine!” being a parallel to mike’s monologue. visually i completely understand where the theory came from but the dialogue im not sure. the word “terror” throws me off because if thats paralleled to mikes monologue that implies that mike wasnt actually scared for el’s life which isnt true at all. if the kid said something like “your performance looked genuine” then that could have been applied to mike saying he loves her and i’d be more sold.

another one im not sure about but i would love if it is intentional is the pineapple pizza. it is interesting especially that he ended up liking it but i think it also easily couldve just been a comic relief moment to interrupt mike and el’s conversation.

this one is more of production kinda theory than a plot theory but some people think bylers had a significant moment on 1x1, 2x2, 3x3, and 4x4 so theyre expecting something big to happen for the fifth episode of s5. honestly i think this is a coincidence and im not gonna expect anything when i watch 5x5. thats like a taylor swift level easter egg. like taylor is fucking crazy in the song betty at 2:46 she says the line “james get in” and in august at 2:46 she says the line “get in the car”. that kinda reminds me of this theory and honestly i just dont think the duffers would think to hint at byler through episode numbers. i think when its not dialogue or actions they mostly rely on the set design, music, and cinematography.

i also dont consider mikes cliff jump in s1 a suicide attempt. i know the audience was told that no one would survive that but i think mike thought he would survive and he just might get hurt. i also dont think will was on his mind when he did this. he did it to save dustin.

and this one might be an unpopular opinion but i dont really believe anything related to the number 7 being a byler thing. that was mentioned once in the first episode and it was just to show that in dnd will got taken by the demogorgan and foreshadow what happens to will. yes, he told mike and only mike but i wouldnt at all consider that a byler moment, it was just relevant to the plot and i dont think any other unimportant mention of the number 7 is related to byler at all like mike saying in s3 “sorry that made me sound like a 7 year old” or him drinking 7up on the car. i especially dont buy it when people start doing math with episode numbers or something like that.

some i fully believe in are the mlvn parallels to stancy with both mike and nancy not able to say they love them and both heart to hearts with who they actually love on top of a car. (tho i think that wouldve been more impactful if they didnt bring stancy back outta nowhere but i dont think nancy likes steve back.)

another parallel is when jancy was murrayd and murray said to nancy that shes probably afraid to accept herself for who she really is and that she shouldnt return to the safety of steve bc “we like steve but we dont love steve”. that applies perfectly to mike and i think it was intentional foreshadowing mikes future struggle with his sexuality and liking will more than el, especially considering the fact that this was told to both mike and wills siblings… the other version of byler. i also think this was foreshadow for mike because for nancy i really cannot think of anything she was struggling with where she would be given advice to “accept herself for who she really is”. her story that season was grieving her best friend and wanting to give barbs family closure and having relationship issues with steve because she had feelings for jonathan. thats not much of an internal struggle of accepting herself.

theres a lot of theories i see go around that i think are a stretch ngl but there are sooo many things that i do think are intentional so its always fun no matter what to see what other people think and form my own opinions.

[achilios]

out of context quotes that are (a) hilarious (b) ominous (c) both at once (from survival is a talent by @shanastoryteller )

(years 4-5, potential spoilers ahead?? maybe?? i’ll add an asterisk (*) to quotes that i think may be spoilers)

( * = possibly a spoiler ; ** = mild spoiler ; *** = kind of a big spoiler )

this was originally supposed to be for harry only, because his character in this fic is absolutely amazing and sarcastic and generally hilarious, but then the list somehow Grew, so!

harry:

"Millicent, thank merlin, has a trust fund and that’s it, and thinks the rest of them are insane[...]she’s a great barometer for when something’s a pureblood Slytherin thing, and for when their friends are just strange, but haven’t figured it out yet because they’re too busy being strange together."

"'I’ll meet you downstairs,' Harry says, then stands and jumps off the roof. George screams, but Harry’s laughing all the way down, casting a cushioning charm so he easily bounces back on his feet."

"'But it doesn’t bother me when I almost die,' Harry complains."

"I might as well cause a useful disaster."

* "Sometimes accidental necromancy just happens.”

"'Ritualistic cannibalism is my least preferred way to die,” Harry tells him companionably."

"Who cares if it’s a good idea? It’s a fun idea."

"She looks at Harry. “Can you walk, Mr. Potter?”“Sure,” he says, “absolutely, I’ve been walking for years.”"

"They all look at him like he’s crazy. Which isn’t a new experience, but is a little rude."

* "he’s planning to spend the summer collecting corpses so he has them on hand if needed."

+ bonus

Sirius saying Questionable Things, as always: "'I love that woman,' Sirius says, 'She’s so willing sell her morals away, I really admire that in a person.'"

Ron, who i’m kind of obsessed with(+ an appearance from Ginny): "'What are you planning, Ronald?' 'Nothing major. Just some public unrest, maybe a riot or two. A coup would be nice, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves,' he muses."

"'I flew a car into the Whomping Willow when I was twelve,' Ron says. 'How am I supposed to discipline students? As long as no one dies, it’s like, fine, right?'"

"“Hey!” Ron says, but he’s still grinning. “I think we make really logical and great choices for authority figures.” Harry twists to stare at him. “A third year got in a fight with a Hufflepuff, and you taught him how to throw a better punch.”"

Neville, who is awesome: "No election if we kill him."

"“Yippee,” Neville says morosely"

Hermione, who is somehow both chaotic good and lawful neutral at once: "'I won’t have to scold anyone for anything if they don’t get caught,' Hermione answers. 'Perhaps everyone should take this as an opportunity to brush up on their invisibility and silencing spells?'"

* "Hermione pulls out her wand. “It’s sad you’ll forget this moment. You’re a lot less pathetic when you grow a spine.”"

Draco, who I can’t even put into words how much I love in this fic: *** "Draco strides into Flitwick’s office and drops a ten foot scroll on his desk with a satisfying thwack. Flitwick looks up and raises an eyebrow. “That’s the complete arithmancy for the ghost summoning spell. Read it and weep, because I did.”"

"“Yeah, okay. I was personally planning to hex anyone who hit on you or stared at you too long, but I suppose your idea is a little more subtle.”"

"Murder suddenly sounds like a much more appealing option."

* "if it’s alive, we’ll come get you so we can – I don’t know, kill an millennia old creature in the middle of the night for the hell of it, I guess."

"“I have so much homework to do that I’ve considered taking up drinking to cope,”"

"Forget therapy. Draco needs a drink."

Quinn, because ze is amazing and I want to make potions explode with zir: "“My dad threw a fit when I accidentally melted the shed outside,” Quinn complains, “Like we all haven’t accidentally liquified a building or two.”"

** "Quinn leans forward, making sure to look him in the eye. “Tell me Harry. Have you ever wanted to lead an unofficial teenage militia? Because I think that would look great on your resume.”"

"“If you finish that sentence I’ll have to kill you, and that will really bum a lot of people out,”"

Seamus and Dean, who count as one person and are practically joined at the hip: "Seamus smacks his shoulder, “Ze has a boyfriend.” There’s a pause where they all stare at him, and then he goes, “Wait, and you have a boyfriend too! Me! No leering at Quinn.”"

Percy, who is entirely too relatable sometimes: "“I have to go,” he says, “and I don’t know, maybe develop a drinking problem or something.”"

This Scene:

I’m not even sure I understand what’s happening here, but I love it

This Scene As Well:

"Ron sighs and puts his arm around Harry’s shoulders. “Harry, murder is bad.”

“Most of the time,” Hermione says. Ron glares at her. “What? Sometimes a little murder can be helpful.”

He turns to Neville, beseeching, but he only shrugs. “Murder is bad almost all of the time.”"

Other Characters, who are equally amazing but admittedly less important to the story so far, so they don’t get individual sections: "“Angelina!” Katie scolds, even though she’s angry too. “Don’t admit to murder in front of so many witnesses.”"

" “I’ll keep watch. Have fun down there. I hope you die.”"

*** "“What is idiotic master needing from his lowly house elf, who is clearly so unimportant that he can not be telling her when he goes running off to do stupid things?” “Er,” he says, “look, Winky, it all happened really fast, and we were on a bit of time crunch-” “Ah, yes,” she says, “because it is taking so long to be summoning me, with a literal snap of your fingers.”"

[misnomera]

On racial stereotyping of the Haans in TMA...

Right so as someone who is ethnically Chinese I have NO FUCKING clue how I didn’t notice this more distinctly in my initial binge of tma (going too fast and not paying closer attention to character names and descriptions, probably) but the Haan family storyline is, all horror elements aside, pretty fucked up in terms of racial representation re: stereotyping. This got long as hell, but please please please take a moment to read through if you’ve got time for it. thanks.

To start off, the Haans are one of the few characters in tma with an explicitly specified race and ethnicity—Chinese—and pretty much the only explicitly Chinese characters in tma, other than the mostly unimportant librarian (Zhang Xiaoling) from Beijing. But like, Haan isn’t even a properly Chinese surname, at least not in the way that it’s spelled in canon (it should be Han, one a. A quick google search tells me that Haan as a surname has...Dutch origins??).

Of course, that could be chalked up to shoddy anglicization processes within family histories, which certainly isn’t uncommon with immigrant families, so I’m not going to dwell on names too much (although I also find it interesting that John Haan’s name is so specifically and weirdly anglicized that he changed his own surname?? Hun Yung to John Haan is a very big leap of a name change and frankly not very believable. ANYWAY, this is not that important. I don’t expect Jonny, a white Englishman, to come up with perfectly unquestionable non-Cho-Chang-like Chinese names, though it certainly would be nice. Moving on).

What really bothers me about the Haans is how they almost exclusively and explicitly play into negative Chinese immigrant stereotypes. I don’t even feel like I need to say it because it’s like...it’s literally Right There, folks. John Haan (in ep 72) owns and operates a sketchy takeout restaurant. They’re all avatars of the Flesh—and John Haan is Specifically horrific and terrifying because he cooked his wife’s human meat and fed it to his unknowing customers. Does that remind you of any stereotypes which accuse Chinese people of consuming societally unacceptable and ethically questionable things like dog/cat/bat meat (which, if it’s not already crystal fucking clear, we don’t. do that.), which in turn characterize us as horrible unfeeling monsters? John Haan’s characterization feeds (haha, badum tss) directly into this harmful stereotype that have caused very real pain for Chinese people and East Asians in general. 

And Jonny does nothing to address that from within his writing (and not out of it either). And, speaking on a more meta level, Jonny could’ve easily had these flesh avatars be individuals of any race (like, what’s Jared Hopworth’s ethnicity? Do we know? No? Well then). Conversely, he could’ve easily, easily had a Chinese person be an avatar of any other entity. So why did he have to chose specifically the Flesh?

(This is a rhetorical question. You know why. Racial stereotyping and invoking a fear of the other in an attempt to enhance horror, babey~)

On Tom Haan’s side, Jonny seems weirdly intent on having other characters repeatedly comment on his accent (or rather, lack thereof) in relation to his race. Think about how, in ep 30 (killing floor), the fact that Tom Haan had spoken a line to the statement giver in “perfect English” was an emphasized beat in that statement, and a beat that was supposed to be “chilling” and meant to signify to us that something was, quote-unquote, “not right” with Tom Haan. Implicitly, that’s saying that it was unexpected, not “normal”, and in this case even eerie, for someone who looks Chinese to have spoken in fluid, unbroken English. Mind you, the line itself was perfectly scary on its own (“you cannot stop the slaughter by closing the door”), so why did Jonny feel the need to note the accent in which it was spoken in? Why did Jonny HAVE to have that statement giver note, that he initially “wasn’t even sure how much English [Haan] spoke”? 

This happens again in episode 72 with a Chinese man (and again, his ethnicity is Explicitly Noted) who we assume is also Tom Haan. This one is rather ironically funny and kind of painfully self aware, because the statement giver expresses surprise at Haan’s “crisp RP accent” and then immediately “felt bad about making the assumption that he couldn’t speak English,” and subsequently admitted that thought was “low-key racist.” Like, from a writing perspective, this entire passage is roundabout, pointless, and says absolutely nothing helpful to enhance the horror genre experience for listeners (instead it just sounded like some sort of half-assed excuse so Jonny or other listeners could say “look! We’ve addressed the racism!” You didn’t. It just made me vaguely uncomfortable). And again, having other people comment on our accents/lack thereof while assuming we are foreign is a Very Real microaggression that east asians face on the daily. If Jonny needed some filler sentences for pacing he could’ve written about Literally anything else. So why point out, yet again, that the crazy murderous man was foreign and Chinese? 

At this point, you might say, right, but yknow, it was just that the statement givers were kind of racist! It happens! Yeah sure, ok, that’s a passable in-universe explanation for descriptions of Tom Haan (though not John Haan, mind you), but the statement givers are fake made up people, and statement’s still written by Jonny, who absolutely has all the power to write overt discrimination out of his stories. And he does! Think about just how many minor (and major!!) characters are so, so carefully written as completely aracial, and do not have their ethnicity implicated at all in whatever horrors they may or may not be committing. Think about how many lgbtq+ characters have given statements, and have been in statements, without having faced direct forms of discrimination, or portrayed as embodying blatant stereotypes in their stories (though lgbtq+ rep in tma certainly has their own issues that I won’t go into here). Jonny can clearly write characters this way, and he can do it well. So why, why, am I being constantly, repeatedly reminded in-text of the fact that the Haans are East Asian, that they’re from China, that they’re Chinese immigrants, that they’re second-generation British Chinese or whatever the fuck, and that they’re also horrifying conduits for blood, gore, and general fucked-up-ness? It’s absolutely not something that is Needed for the stories to be an effective piece of horror; the only thing it does is perpetuate incredibly harmful and hurtful stereotypes.

And listen, I love tma to bits. It’s taken over my blog. I’ve really loved my interactions with the fandom. And I am consistently blown away by Jonny’s writing and how well he’s able to weave foreshadowing and plot into an incredibly complex collection of stories. But I absolutely Cannot stop thinking about the Haans because it’s just. It’s such a blatant display of racial stereotyping in writing. And I’ve certainly seen a few voices talking about it here and there, and I don’t know if I’m just not looking in the right places, but it certainly feels like something that is just straight up not on the radar for a lot of tma fans. And I’m disappointed about that. 

Just, I don’t know. Take a look at those episodes again and do some of your own thinking about why these characters had to be specifically Chinese (answer: they didn’t.). And in general, PLEASE for the love of god turn a critical eye on character portrayals and descriptions whenever they are assigned specific races/ethnicities (Some examples that come to mind are Jude Perry, Annabelle Cane, and Diego Molina), because similar issues, to an extent, extend beyond the Haans, though I haven’t covered them here. 

You shouldn’t need a POC to do point out these problems for you when they’re so glaringly There. But for those of you who really didn’t know, hope this was informative in some way. I’m tired, man. If some of the only significant Chinese characters you write are violent cannibalistic men with a perverted relationship with meat, just don’t do it. Please don’t do it. 

EDIT: Since the making of this post Jonny has acknowledged and apologized for these portrayals on his twitter and in the Rusty Quill Operations Update, which went up September 2020. A long time coming, but better late than never. This of course doesn’t necessarily negate the harm done by Jonny’s writing, and doesn’t make me much less angry about it, but is appreciated nonetheless. For more on this topic there’s a lot of productive discussions happening in my “#tma crit” tag and in the notes of this post

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

RIGHT THOUGH LIKE. i've made posts before about my read on what the Fuck is going on with rey; and the more i've thought it, the more i feel like what makes him so terrifying is... i think he was inclined to be abusive and controlling from the start, and his idea of 'safe' was always 'under my control.' but he at least understood how to--and that he should--overlap control with actual safety at the time, for plausible deniability and to keep them both alive. can't abuse your kid if one or both of you is dead.

and then he ended up having a genuine break from reality where he stopped registering the distinction between control and safety at all.

[cws for More of the Above, as well as mentions of irl abuse and endangerment including domestic violence + attempted murder; mentions of ableism, grooming, gaslighting, metaphorical CSA, and people in and out of universe being fucking horrible about it lmao]

his idea of keeping five 'safe' is now isolation, mind games, neglect, and abuse; five's actual physical safety, let alone psychological or emotional, is totally unimportant now because it never actually was. five says that when one died it was like 'the last string keeping him in check snapped'--which, tbh, in itself doesn't sound like rey was fine and actually had a sudden breakdown; that language implies whatever the hell was wrong with him had been getting worse for a While--and the results are him going completely mask off in a way that's terrifying.

it goes from manipulative, emotionally abusive parent who concern-trolls you into not leaving the house For Your Own Good--or outright forbids it--to being trapped in a room with said parent who is now waving a knife and rambling about how you shouldn't go outside because it's not safe. and it's all the more frightening for the fact that even with his level of understanding that the situation is fucked, five doesn't seem to realize exactly how afraid he should be.

(which, i don't doubt at all that if the invasion hadn't happened and they hadn't been thrown into the events of canon, rey would have been that first one. they'd already picked him out to be five's cêpan, and the abuse would likely have been a lot less blatant and easier to get away with long-term. now there's an AU 🥲)

and this is fascinating to me because like... you'd think it'd be Scary Mentally Ills(tm) trope bullshit. but the thing is that abusers will do bizarre, unhinged shit and detach themselves from reality by spiraling into the abuse and accompanying mindset. they buy into their own logic, they worsen the issues they're taking out on their victims and then take it out on them even more in a feedback loop, they find increasingly ridiculous iranian yogurt to distract from the problem, they develop unrealistic expectations based on what they've become used to getting away with...

...and they convince themselves of things like 'starving my child and potentially getting him killed by venomous animals is keeping him safe.' because it is safe. safe is controlled. no other definition exists anymore, or matters. and it's also a thing for abusers to escalate in sudden, terrifying, disproportionate ways in reaction to a Specific Event; a guy who takes a gun to his ex-girlfriend's house after she breaks up with him didn't Suddenly Go Crazy. he wanted control.

so with rey you're just sitting here like... how much of the dangerous, neglectful stuff is the writers not thinking things through? how much of it is rey being a stupid asshole who doesn't think things through? how much of it maybe has to do with cognitive issues from his physical illness? how much of it is cracking under outside pressure?

and how much of it is something he had in him all along, just waiting for the right circumstances to bring it to the surface?

just. god he freaks me out so bad. this poor kid. it's a really interesting dynamic and also an absolutely infuriating one because of how canon handles it lmao

ALSO GODDDDDD FOR REAL THOUGH THAT SHIT IS JUST. SO MANY FUCKIN POSTS WORTH. setrákus nearly BEATS HIM TO DEATH after months of extreme grooming, gaslighting, and abuse--which also had heavy overtones of CSA--for standing up to him and TRYING TO SAVE ELLA. and then successfully doing so!!! by putting himself in danger to warn john about the charm, and then almost getting killed by nine for it!!! and then they do shit like THIS. oh my god it makes my fuckin blood boil

i can't believe this didn't occur to me until just now but rey you absolute fucknut no wonder five doesn't want to do hours of strenuous physical exercise every day, he's starving

[notallwonder]

Alrighty. Here we are. Criminal Minds 16x06, "True Conviction". I've already seen it a couple times now, but I wanted to do one of these anyway.

Spoilers and extremely long play-by-play under the cut.

I'm unreasonably psyched for this

this technobabble doesn't wholly make sense to me. why would GPS matter?

obvs the most recognizable thing about JJ is the symbol of her marriage, great

lmao this is how I know I'm way down the rabbit hole for Paget - when I first saw Garcia's "bring 'em home, Emily" line, my brain helpfully supplied the sound of Arden Myrin's hilarious impression of Peter Pilot's mom Barb crying "Bring her hooooooome, Peter!" iykyk and if you don't, it's very unimportant

the smirk and eyebrow was completely wrong for the moment, yet Incredibly Hot

big style Janeway vibes as the turbolift elevator doors close

wow the jet is schmancy - wall sconces! it's wide enough to accommodate the new aspect ratio!

SUEDE JACKET EMILY

Tara you look so sad. Wish you had a hand to hold, your friends keep getting blowed up

Luke's ALIVE yessss

oh little baby unsub running through the forest....got bopped on the head....

now he's...locked in a cupboard under the stairs? harry potter?

MAC AND CHEESE MOTIF

god I want mac and cheese

I like this bad uncle guy. He's hilarious. Real good crazy eyes.

this really could have been a musical

honestly I think my dad served me that exact meal when I was a kid and my mom was away on business. Except mine also included canned potatoes (disGUSTing)

Emily hugging Luke and like...no shot of her acknowledging JJ? It annoyed me the first time and now it's HILARIOUS. Just...conspicuously avoiding JJ? I love her relief about Alvez (me too Emily!), and she already knew that JJ was up and moving and not dead. But...they had time for that hug and nothing else? FUNNY. CM flew too close to the Jemily Sun with "200" and the long walk back is still ongoing.

I guess if I wanted to watch this with my Jemily goggles... this could fit *very* well with the plot of "Late Bloomer", a lovely fic by angestreet in progress on AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/43418964). ANYWAY - the not touching/having trouble being normal with JJ fits with an Emily who has been putting distance between herself and JJ for complicated emotional reasons she's just starting to understand. Or perhaps an Emily and JJ who have had some sort of personal conflict that we, the audience, were not privy to (see also: the "what ifs and if onlys" conversation in season 13). I mean, I still think it's a conspicuously odd choice on the TV screen, but there's room for some interesting storytelling there.

on the other hand - the flight down there from Quantico is at least 90 minutes. Plenty of time for the folks on the jet to get a phone update from JJ. I think we're led to believe they did NOT have that communication (i.e. the splosion interrupted cell service for a prolonged period), as otherwise why would Emily be palpably relieved about Luke's well-being once she gets eyes on him?

Ponytail Prentiss. Ma'am.

The brief and supportive embrace of JJ from Tara and Rossi? Beautiful. Chef's kiss. Lovely.

LOL this music. Teachin' the kid to lye. (haha im so funny)

So...are we to believe he is conflicted about his serial killer education?

No time for politics, Dougie boy!

ooh I wonder who the Attorney General is. Do you think we'll get to see her? Please be CCH Pounder.

Political pressure and machinations seem to be a theme this season. As I recall, prior CM painted its political villains more as bad individuals (Barnes, Strauss, seemingly Bailey at the start of this season). It does feel like CME is more deliberately placing the BAU in the context of a justice / law enforcement *system* that is corrupted or disturbed by political concerns (and otherwise wonderful and perfect and not at all corrupt in itself). Kind of interesting.

Poor Tyler.

Look! JJ talking directly to Emily! It happened! Not in the same frame, but. I just have to remind myself that these things actually happen.

Can you imagine Prentiss arm wrestling Bailey. She'd wipe the floor with that silly noodle. Her glare is too powerful, forget her arm.

So Bailey's *not* the reason they haven't been using the jet? It's the nebulous "politics"? Vague, but not a huge leap. We've already had Senator Aunt Zelda call back to the way Congress sometimes likes to hold the federal budget hostage to achieve certain ends.

ugh....friends....this should come as no surprise...... i'm so gone for her...... her visage pleases me no end..... (mind filled with spooky echoing whispers of sssmokeshhhow prentisssss)

Acting! Executive realness Emily. And she does trust Tara's ability to do the job, but is cognizant of those "politics" etc.

Tara knows she's staring at a shit sandwich coming her way. Tara, I love you. I'm sorry this is hard.

Tyler: "Some dude gave me my clothes back. Also he took my sick Crocs. I don't get it. Am I getting out of here?"

I like PG's dress.

MOAR HUGS!!!! love that. Whoopsy you hurt Luke's lil injured wrist bb.

JONATHAN DEL ARCO, my MAN. First watch through I did not recognize him but found him compelling. I love that guy. I loved seeing him reprise his role as Hugh in ST: Picard. I love his work here.

Emily is... compassionate in this interview. Doesn't feel adversarial. That look when he says he just wants to die.

Oy, poor JJ. She is stuck in this stupid situation with her business gnome husband where she gets to feel guilty AND almost got blowed up! And Will, please. "I promise to never miss your call ever again." Guys come on - be realistic here! This is So Dumb. I've never been able to hate Will despite the ways their relationship rubs me the wrong way. Because if nothing else, JJ does seem to mostly really like him. I don't get it, girl, but who am I to say? She looks really shaken in this scene. This gives me a bad feeling. I'm a little worried this storyline is going to end in her transferring out of the BAU or retiring or otherwise putting her family above her career in a more decisive way.

Tyler and Penelope... I don't hate it. Pen deserves some lovin' and she's a kind and compassionate soul. Luke adores her and he's better than Tyler in terms of current emotional stability I'd say. But the heart wants what the heart wants and sometimes the heart simply enjoys whatever is on offer. She must have her reasons.

I had to watch this Tara/Emily/Luke scene like 4 times because I couldn't hear the dialogue over everyone's insane BEAUTY. The HAIR. the..um...curves...the brown houndstooth over the navy shirt...Luke was there too...

side note: I hate the AirBnB/Target/IKEA generic-ass photography decorating the FBI offices. Federal offices are boring yes but usually in a more dorky way.

Oh! They are fighting in the Family Room.

Oh, Rebecca you little nightmare. Tara says Reeves is not Sicarius and that's all it takes for you to accuse her of dealing in conspiracy theories? That got my hackles up. FASCINATING. I can't look away.

Again...this plays into that same looming "Politics" business - the people around & in the way of our heroes are motivated by optics, by career ambition, by the *appearance* of justice served and the currency that provides. ...That exchange in episode 1602 or 1603, when Bailey suggests getting Domestic Terrorism involved to make people feel safe and Prentiss replies that that wouldn't make them safe.

This scene with Tara/Emily/Luke is lovely. They've got her back. She's a professional. Emily's reaction like "oof been there".

This interrogation. The tacit communication between Tara and Emily when Tara steps in (hot). The way Tara carefully talks her way to the point. The way Silvio's eyes cut over at "I met this woman" and then he looks away. The way the connection has been made - he does feel seen. He's smart too. And he's spent how many years committed to his path - death for the safety of the man he loved. I really enjoyed this scene.

Y'know Emily is consistently good about acknowledging Penelope's good work. I'm sure that's been true for the whole show, but noticeable here too - in 1603 when she tells PG her idea is really good, and here. Love it.

Oh now that I'm watching it carefully - PG has a whole MOMENT as she opens up about her own grief (unfortunate how many times the word "hole" appeared in this convo but wcyd). His lean in is NOT unwarranted, it's there in her eyes...

new catchphrase "it just makes the hole different"

I like Silvio's novio. I like that he found a way to live free of shame and fear. It does kind of beg the question why he didn't try harder to exonerate Silvio in the intervening years, but let's not dwell.

Rebecca's "I have never not been on your side" okay lady. you were pretty mad earlier and implied your girlfriend and her team were full of shit so... I guess you're a human being! lmao. I hate to see Tara back-footed like this but this is juicy.

oh hello hottie. Emily Prentiss, the way you sit in a chair.

Paget's delivery of "I'm not quite following" is hilarious. hashtag relatable.

So "family is what gets you killed". Family as weakness, as vulnerability. I don't doubt that over the next few episodes we'll get more rebuttal to that notion from our heroes, a la "we're a family and that's our strength."

These episodes really don't stand up on their own. They work better together. Can't wait for the next one.