#this is causing me legitimate distress

[murdockiplier]

someone made a trobed fic to you're losing me by taylor swift. i'm going to be sick

[jasontoddsmommyissues]

Is it bad if I'm on the fence about even wanting to watch Season 5? I know it sounds petty, and like I'm just being salty about my favorite character, but honestly? I never truly felt passionate about the show beyond just being something entertaining to watch until Eddie showed up. Without him, honestly, I just don't know if it's even worth it to me anymore.

[merry-death]

Me about 30 minutes ago: I'm totally not too tired to work on my complicated knitting project. I'm definitely familiar enough with the pattern at this point that I don't have to pay too close of attention to what's written, I can absolutely figure it out.

😭😭

[femmefaggot]

ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"

a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.

I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize

I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.

I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.

not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.

I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you

if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad

[lnkedmyheart]

yeah there are some pretty concerning ppl in the bsd tag sometimes.. usually its best to blog those people tbf, some people act like bsd is like their lifeline and it's kinda worrying 😭

When they unironically start saying some seriously messed up shit it gets freaky. Like, i get a piece of media being your "safe space" but if it is genuinely causing you such severe distress you have a bigger problem than "the show was bad".

[spiderywigglerodstuff]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

[ancientmyrddin]

literally can't believe how comforting the obsessions chart on the IOCD website has been for me like. Big "You're Not Alone" Big "This Isn't You" energy. Literally crying. Literally shaking. Literally having a crisis of identity because i'm scanning through my memories of my life and noticing how much of it was influenced by this thing i don't even know if i have.

How many symptoms before you know you have the thing. I need to talk to a psychologist.

[firstaidspray]

I had to beat Akinator with a stick several times to get him to guess Sidney on the first try (he kept guessing him on the second time) BUT I FINALLY WON. Fuck you and your little golden thing on your hat you stupid genie I finally broke you and got my rare award for my bastard lobbyist husband. Eat shit

[anxiousnerdwritings]

A question about Joanna!lookalike reader.

When she leaves for the north because robert wants her to be able to have the freedom to express her self. is it at first just to stay their, or was there disscusstion of marriage with the Stark family before being sent off?

Also i see that jon snow may be intrested in Joanna!lookalike reader👀

Prehaps when request open i might ask for something about that

I like to imagine that not only is Robert’s first thought to get Joanna!Lookalike!Reader out from the suffocating and distressful environment she’s in but that he would also go with her himself to make sure she gets there safe and settles in alright. Not to mention he definitely wants to fill Ned in on everything going on, spilling all the absolute piping hot tea, and you can bet that big man isn’t leaving without at least discussing the idea of some near future betrothing going on.

You can also be assured that when Robert and the Reader take off for the North, it’s late into the evening/early morning as to not have Cersei finding out cause she would surely throw a massive bitch fit. Robert wouldn’t want her to know of any of his plans to have the Joanna!Lookalike!Reader reside in the North for however long she needs to. Not to mention it would only spite her all the more that she have no knowledge of the Reader’s being sent off.

A part of me likes to imagine that Jaime is well aware of these plans, hell he’s probably on watch when Robert and the Reader leave but he keeps his mouth shut cause he knows deep down that Joanna!Lookalike needs this more than ever after the breakdown they had at dinner that one night. Unlike his sister and father, Jaime does see past the Joanna resemblance and acknowledges the Reader as their own person. And their breakdown just opened his eyes even more so to how much of a damaging effect this has had on them this whole time.

I feel like Robert not only wants to marry Joanna!Lookalike!Reader to Robb (or even Jon👀) to have his and Ned’s blood come together but also to give an excuse for the Reader to stay in Wingerfell and not have to come back home if they don’t want to.

You can bet your sweetcheeks that Jon is gonna be interested in Joanna!Lookalike. Especially given that I completely see the Reader just absolutely letting loose. This is the only chance they get to be as free as they’ll ever be and they’re going to take full advantage of it. They want to run wild, they want to get dirty, they want to not have to be perfect, they just want to be content as they are and I think that would really catch Jon’s attention. There will also of course be a sort of ‘friendly’ yandere rivalry between Jon and Robb for the Reader, not only for their attention but eventually for their hand in marriage as well. At least, it’ll start out friendly enough until things get serious.

If the Reader were to choose Jon, I like to think Robert would be a little more lenient about it. He’s definitely going to talk to Ned about legitimizing his bastard if that’s the case but I almost kinda feel like Robert would let it slide if that’s truly what the Joanna!Lookalike!Reader wanted given everything they’ve gone through and had put on them. Hell, he’s the fucking king he could legitimize Jon himself if he so wanted. And don’t tell him otherwise.

Or the Reader may as well happily give up their royal status if it meant they finally could be who they wanted to be with the person they truly wanted to be with. I could see that being the first thing that crosses Joanna!Lookalike’s mind when the idea of marrying Jon comes up. Heck, the Reader may purposely seek Jon out for his bastard status as an excuse to sever those ties with their suffocatingly overbearing family back home.

Gods, could you imagine yan!Jon Snow (especially Book!Jon Snow) finding out his darling was only with him for his bastard status and so they could strip themself of everything that came with the family they were a part of? As much as that would all hurt, I think what would hit him hardest is if his darling didn’t even remotely share the same romantic feelings for his as he did, not a shred of it. Maybe the Reader liked Jon platonically and saw him as a safer option to some degree. I could definitely see him guilt tripping/manipulating them into being intimate with him. Even if it’s holding his hand or kissing him on the lips. But those small acts would only last him so long, he’s starved after all and he wants nothing more than to feel all of the Reader’s love they have to give. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.

[trans-humanish]

You can also care that they're upset, and continue to make the same choices! It's totally normal to be hurt by the distress of people you love, but that doesn't have to determine your actions. It can be a factor in what you choose to do, but it's much more helpful as a cue to examine why they're feeling upset, than to let those feelings dictate your choices.

When someone gives the advice of “don’t be afraid to disappoint your parents” they don’t just mean taking music theory in college or starting a YouTube channel.

It also means wearing things they might not approve of. Using accommodations that they might not think you need. Not falling for their guilt trips. Eating when you’re hungry, not when it suits them and their idea of your weight or health. Making your own friends instead of seeking the stamp of approval from them.

Of course, some parents are stricter than others, and some use abuse to keep you from expressing yourself. But do what you can, even if it seems small.

Otherwise, when your parents are no longer in the picture, you’ll try to find it somewhere else to get validation. A strict boss, an abusive partner, a selfish friend.

Going against your parent’s wishes is developmentally healthy. Not doing so stunts your independence and self-regulation. You shouldn’t be living to constantly please others, even the people who love you.

[sunnyaalisse]

Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.

[naamahdarling]

MY medical update:

I am beginning to feel like I will never reach the end of anything. I am legitimately folding like a wet house of cards. My mental health is being profoundly negatively affected as my identity as "a unique and vibrant human being with a meaningful life" is increasingly subsumed into a deeply trauma-adjacent and depersoning identity as "a patient", with all the associated expectations that I will repeatedly and with minimal complaint allow people I barely know or have never met access to my emotions and my traumatized and marginalized body. That is not safe space within which to exist. Medical professionals, even the very kind ones, often forget the toll that "care" can take. (Bad ones disregard it altogether.)

My unusually high degree of emotional awareness allows me to see what is happening, and even allows me to cope with it very well, but "very well" is still not enough to make this sustainable over the long term. I don't actually know where to go or what to do from here.

I am torn between wanting to get all of these appointments out of the way as quickly as possible, so that I can relax without anything hanging over my head, and spacing things out just to give myself room to fucking breathe even though that means I will always have something lurking in the near future, causing me dread. I've run the math in my head over and over and I still can't work it out. There are too many unknowns, and too many variables, and too many ways things could go wrong either way I go.

I don't even know if there is a right choice. I don't know if there is a best answer. I've never been under this kind of pressure for so long before, I have been struggling with one thing or another since before the beginning of the year, and it is genuinely starting to do what I believe could turn into lasting harm.

I had a long and helpful talk with my boyfriend tonight, and while it did not fix much, it did help me to understand that the constant pressure on me is making it difficult for him to be here for me as much as he would like to be able to, and that's obviously distressing to him. That hit me really hard, because that is exactly the position I was in earlier this year trying to get his medication refilled and trying to help him deal with a deeply incompetent dental clinic.

I very much appreciate that he shared that with me, and I probably will try to find a way to slow things down and space things out, because even if I don't know that is what is best for me, if that is what is best for him, that's what I want to do. I've been so overwhelmed trying to manage my own emotional state that I sadly have not stopped to think about the effect this has had on him. I do feel guilty about that, but the important thing is that he let me know and I heard him.

I am very tired, and I'm praying that next week is uneventful. I don't have anything scheduled, but that doesn't mean that something annoying or even actually horrible might not occur.

Right now I'm going to have a snack and go to bed and hope that the pharmacy refills my meds tomorrow so that I can go back to having 30% less ADHD.

[couldtransitionsaveher]

As someone with a trans partner who is in and out of jail on a somewhat regular basis: Fuck you.

You could have slapped a trigger warning before that link, but no, it was necessary to fuck people's day up, right? Punish them for not knowing a term, because how can you be a good ally, if you don't know everything?

If your post had been well intentioned, you'd have put trigger warning on there and put the link under the cut with a very short description of what was going on, but you chose to not do any of that, because it wasn't your intention.

"I suggest you read up on it" yeah, I suggest you go fuck yourself.

Forgive me. The only intention I had with my poll was to simply gauge Tumblr's awareness on an issue that's been on my mind. I had no intention of causing any distress. I made the mistake of putting all of the trigger warnings in the tags rather than the post itself, and it resulted in a lot of pain. I'm legitimately so sorry. If you all would like me to delete the post, feel free to inform me.

[snickersnackety]

this is just what america Is Like. no regard for the fact that pedestrians have just as much right to public spaces as drivers. it's built into the city design and traffic laws.

i love crossing the street in front of cars where i can see the driver is visibly annoyed because like. are you mad at me? am i making you mad? are you upset? are you gonna kill me about it? gonna vehicular manslaughter me? gonna split my head open like a watermelon with that big strong manly truck? are you mad at me?

[quinloki]

I was wondering if you could do Ace, Sabo and Koby(if not comfortable I understand, maybe Marco? Or someone of your choice if you'd like ^^)

I was wondering if you could do Begging, Dacryphilia, and cockwarming.

Thank youuuuu!!! I hope you have a lovely day <3!!

I did say over 18 and Koby is over 18. Plus that boy's glow up was something else. The only one I know of that tops it (heh, tops) is - in my opinion - Eustass Kid. Yeah, his pre-ts look was good and punk, but gods and demons he got so thicc.

Okay, my personal thirsts aside, let's get into this. And thank you anon for being preemptively okay with allowing me to pick someone else if I wasn't comfortable with Koby - I appreciate that kind of looking out from peeps <3

Dacryphilia is, I believe, the crying kink - not necessarily distress, but all aspects of it. Okay \o/ let's do this by Kink.

Begging:

Ace - Yes - He's not so sure about this at first, and he caves to your begging very quickly the first couple times, but after getting to think on it a bit he leans into it. How creative can you get? How bad do you want him to just rail you? It doesn't have to be verbal either, Ace is perfectly happy with you begging visually - from rubbing up against him, to holding yourself open.

He's a simple guy who appreciates simple pleasures, and he never makes you beg for too long.

Sabo - FUCK Yes - there's a bit of madness in this boy, and if you want to stoke those flames then he's not going to stop you. Sabo is a little unsure at first, but finds he really likes it. Visually, and verbally, and it's his job to make sure you're doing a good job, so he's constantly pushing you to beg better.

Certainly your vocabulary is large enough to get creative? Oh you kneel so prettily beneath him, but you're smart enough to be more enticing than that, aren't you? It's cute when you blush, like you're not literally begging for this, maybe if you beg well enough you'll be flushed all the way down to your chest.

Koby - Sure? - He might be canonically 18, but he's got slowburn vibes to me, and I think you'd be dating him at least two years before things progressed into a bedroom of any kind. (He's just so heckin' sweet), but once you get there you find he's open to trying pretty much anything. He's pretty solidly a switch, maybe leans a little more toward sub than dom, and top more than bottom, but he's here to learn and see you both satisfied by the end of it.

And he learns well. Koby is a smart, hard working, and dedicated student no matter the material or situation. Whether you're begging him, or he's begging you, the part that makes it good for him is knowing how it positively effects you.

Dacryphilia:

Ace - Yes mostly. - Ace doesn't want to see you sad or in heart-pain. He's okay with happy tears, he doesn't panic regardless of the tears, but once he adapts to you a little he has to admit he likes kissing away your tears, brushing them off your face and reassuring you, smiling with you, being in that emotion alongside you - whatever caused it - and dealing with it.

When you cry specifically because he's teasing you or overwhelming you with pleasure, he really likes those tears. He can't even really apologize for teasing you, there's just something about it that makes his heart thump a little harder.

Sabo - FUCK Yes - Please do cry for him. He doesn't want you crying because he's physically hurting you (he doesn't want you crying because he's legitimately mentally harming you either), but he does love when you cry. Maybe he bullied you, maybe the crop did it, maybe his hand did it, maybe he fucked those tears out of you. Whatever caused it there's just something about your tears that turns things up for him.

Now, if someone else causes you to cry that's entirely different. He's the only one allowed to make you cry, and certainly the one meant to soothe you afterward. Sabo's aftercare game is good too, so there's never anything that lingers poorly afterward.

Koby - No - Tears make Koby panic. Good tears, bad tears, he doesn't handle any of them well. Least of all when they're coming from you. If you cry when you're cumming it's going to take him some time to not panic when it happens - communication, obviously, is key.

Now on the flip side, Koby will let you bully him to tears. He doesn't mind crying for you and is closer to Sure on the subject. He's a little prone to tears anyway, so he's just glad you're not (legitimately) teasing him for it.

Cockwarming:

Ace - I guess - The lack of movement means Ace is prone to falling asleep with this particular kink. He's not against it, so long as you're not going to be mad if/when he falls asleep, but he also doesn't want to fall asleep when he's with you. He'd rather keep things moving so he keeps moving.

Sabo - Oh god you have no idea - He loves being buried deep inside you, and Sabo doesn't often get the chance to just stay still. He's in a busy position, so these moments are some of his favorite. There's so much bundled up into it for him as well - control, patience, will, teasing, pleasing, begging - it's the best when he can have you crying and begging for him to move, for him to let you move, when all your little shifts and twitches haven't been quite enough to tempt him.

You're so close to him the whole time. So touchable, so easy to caress, so delighted as his low voice slips softly into you - even and gentle and undeniably in control.

Koby - Yes - Surprisingly Yes. He almost never outlasts you, and sometimes he just ends up pinning you and taking you and it's about as aggressive as he gets. You teased him for his lack of will once because of it, and he had you begging and crying for him to move and he did. not. cave. He actually threatened to just leave you completely unsatisfied until you apologized.

I... huh.

Kind of broke my brain with that last sentence, that's all I got.

Kinky One Piece Head Canon

[thehollowwriter]

Everyone's asking me to get started on Jade but I don't really know how to word since his problems can be more subtle at times since people take him more seriously than Floyd.

Idk you get some headcanons or fics where he... kinda gaslights his partner?There's a lot where he treats the. like his property, something that '"belongs" to him and '"No one else can have you" kinda thing.

It's popular for him to literally drug his partner with mushrooms or whatever and it's portrayed like "oh lol silly Jade". All those times he's written to force his partner to eat mushrooms that might legitimately poison them as well and again it's "you don't have a choice, it's not like you can fight against him anyways"

There's too many where he plays mind games with his partner and confuses them and causes them legitimate distress but it's written off as "That's just Jade and his partner isn't that smart" or something

It's super late so this isn't very good, I'll make another one tomorrow, but enjoy me getting started on Jade. Goodnight