#this is causing me legitimate distress
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murdockiplier · 2 years ago
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someone made a trobed fic to you're losing me by taylor swift. i'm going to be sick
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jasontoddsmommyissues · 1 year ago
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Is it bad if I'm on the fence about even wanting to watch Season 5? I know it sounds petty, and like I'm just being salty about my favorite character, but honestly? I never truly felt passionate about the show beyond just being something entertaining to watch until Eddie showed up. Without him, honestly, I just don't know if it's even worth it to me anymore.
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merry-death · 4 months ago
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Me about 30 minutes ago: I'm totally not too tired to work on my complicated knitting project. I'm definitely familiar enough with the pattern at this point that I don't have to pay too close of attention to what's written, I can absolutely figure it out.
😭😭
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femmefaggot · 2 years ago
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ok hi haha lol I dont rly feel like going in circles in my head forever trying to figure out whether, among other "smaller" things, being left alone in a room w only media as a child and not feeling like I had even a semblance of a personality for most of my life counts as "trauma"
a lot of these parts of me are new, I'm just recently putting names to them and it feels as though I'm developing facets of personalities in my mid 20s after a lifetime of either feeling like I'm basically just ADHD in a person, an amalgamation of kins shoved into a body, or something made of guilt Also shoved into a body.
I don't like, claim to know what this means. but I don't think a lot of my current mutuals would feel comfortable interacting w me bc I don't necessarily believe in the black and white of what plurality is. I'm not able or planning on getting any formal diagnosis and while I'm discussing this w my therapist they're very much not one to pathologize
I definitely don't feel like one person but I dont think id count for most of you as a "system" as the different parts of me feel as though theyre still developing. take all of this as you will, I'm not going to stress my body out more by trying to figure out "what" I am as I've been doing that my whole life and I'm kinda tired of it.
I know that I'm not entirely one thing and feel Enough like multiple things for myself, but blurred in a lot of ways. like some sort of gem with many different facets.
not sure where to go w this tbh take this how you will. im not comfortable saying I'm leaning one way or the other regarding system discourse, (<- not a phrase i want to use but the best shorthand i have) as I genuinely don't believe the human brain is nearly that black and white.
I'm both "me" and very much not "me" at times. idk what this means but ik I'm not comfortable saying im just pandora and im not sure im "allowed" to say im a system and im not sure if it matters, or should matter, regarding friends. im going to be like this regardless, id unfollow me if this grey area im likely to stay in bothers you
if you don't want me refollowing I'd probably block, too, as my memory is bad
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lnkedmyheart · 1 year ago
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yeah there are some pretty concerning ppl in the bsd tag sometimes.. usually its best to blog those people tbf, some people act like bsd is like their lifeline and it's kinda worrying 😭
When they unironically start saying some seriously messed up shit it gets freaky. Like, i get a piece of media being your "safe space" but if it is genuinely causing you such severe distress you have a bigger problem than "the show was bad".
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spiderywigglerodstuff · 1 year ago
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the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right
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ancientmyrddin · 2 years ago
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literally can't believe how comforting the obsessions chart on the IOCD website has been for me like. Big "You're Not Alone" Big "This Isn't You" energy. Literally crying. Literally shaking. Literally having a crisis of identity because i'm scanning through my memories of my life and noticing how much of it was influenced by this thing i don't even know if i have.
How many symptoms before you know you have the thing. I need to talk to a psychologist.
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firstaidspray · 2 years ago
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I had to beat Akinator with a stick several times to get him to guess Sidney on the first try (he kept guessing him on the second time) BUT I FINALLY WON. Fuck you and your little golden thing on your hat you stupid genie I finally broke you and got my rare award for my bastard lobbyist husband. Eat shit
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anxiousnerdwritings · 10 months ago
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A question about Joanna!lookalike reader.
When she leaves for the north because robert wants her to be able to have the freedom to express her self. is it at first just to stay their, or was there disscusstion of marriage with the Stark family before being sent off?
Also i see that jon snow may be intrested in Joanna!lookalike reader👀
Prehaps when request open i might ask for something about that
I like to imagine that not only is Robert’s first thought to get Joanna!Lookalike!Reader out from the suffocating and distressful environment she’s in but that he would also go with her himself to make sure she gets there safe and settles in alright. Not to mention he definitely wants to fill Ned in on everything going on, spilling all the absolute piping hot tea, and you can bet that big man isn’t leaving without at least discussing the idea of some near future betrothing going on.
You can also be assured that when Robert and the Reader take off for the North, it’s late into the evening/early morning as to not have Cersei finding out cause she would surely throw a massive bitch fit. Robert wouldn’t want her to know of any of his plans to have the Joanna!Lookalike!Reader reside in the North for however long she needs to. Not to mention it would only spite her all the more that she have no knowledge of the Reader’s being sent off.
A part of me likes to imagine that Jaime is well aware of these plans, hell he’s probably on watch when Robert and the Reader leave but he keeps his mouth shut cause he knows deep down that Joanna!Lookalike needs this more than ever after the breakdown they had at dinner that one night. Unlike his sister and father, Jaime does see past the Joanna resemblance and acknowledges the Reader as their own person. And their breakdown just opened his eyes even more so to how much of a damaging effect this has had on them this whole time.
I feel like Robert not only wants to marry Joanna!Lookalike!Reader to Robb (or even Jon👀) to have his and Ned’s blood come together but also to give an excuse for the Reader to stay in Wingerfell and not have to come back home if they don’t want to.
You can bet your sweetcheeks that Jon is gonna be interested in Joanna!Lookalike. Especially given that I completely see the Reader just absolutely letting loose. This is the only chance they get to be as free as they’ll ever be and they’re going to take full advantage of it. They want to run wild, they want to get dirty, they want to not have to be perfect, they just want to be content as they are and I think that would really catch Jon’s attention. There will also of course be a sort of ‘friendly’ yandere rivalry between Jon and Robb for the Reader, not only for their attention but eventually for their hand in marriage as well. At least, it’ll start out friendly enough until things get serious.
If the Reader were to choose Jon, I like to think Robert would be a little more lenient about it. He’s definitely going to talk to Ned about legitimizing his bastard if that’s the case but I almost kinda feel like Robert would let it slide if that’s truly what the Joanna!Lookalike!Reader wanted given everything they’ve gone through and had put on them. Hell, he’s the fucking king he could legitimize Jon himself if he so wanted. And don’t tell him otherwise.
Or the Reader may as well happily give up their royal status if it meant they finally could be who they wanted to be with the person they truly wanted to be with. I could see that being the first thing that crosses Joanna!Lookalike’s mind when the idea of marrying Jon comes up. Heck, the Reader may purposely seek Jon out for his bastard status as an excuse to sever those ties with their suffocatingly overbearing family back home.
Gods, could you imagine yan!Jon Snow (especially Book!Jon Snow) finding out his darling was only with him for his bastard status and so they could strip themself of everything that came with the family they were a part of? As much as that would all hurt, I think what would hit him hardest is if his darling didn’t even remotely share the same romantic feelings for his as he did, not a shred of it. Maybe the Reader liked Jon platonically and saw him as a safer option to some degree. I could definitely see him guilt tripping/manipulating them into being intimate with him. Even if it’s holding his hand or kissing him on the lips. But those small acts would only last him so long, he’s starved after all and he wants nothing more than to feel all of the Reader’s love they have to give. Mentally, emotionally, and physically.
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trans-humanish · 3 months ago
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You can also care that they're upset, and continue to make the same choices! It's totally normal to be hurt by the distress of people you love, but that doesn't have to determine your actions. It can be a factor in what you choose to do, but it's much more helpful as a cue to examine why they're feeling upset, than to let those feelings dictate your choices.
When someone gives the advice of “don’t be afraid to disappoint your parents” they don’t just mean taking music theory in college or starting a YouTube channel.
It also means wearing things they might not approve of. Using accommodations that they might not think you need. Not falling for their guilt trips. Eating when you’re hungry, not when it suits them and their idea of your weight or health. Making your own friends instead of seeking the stamp of approval from them.
Of course, some parents are stricter than others, and some use abuse to keep you from expressing yourself. But do what you can, even if it seems small.
Otherwise, when your parents are no longer in the picture, you’ll try to find it somewhere else to get validation. A strict boss, an abusive partner, a selfish friend.
Going against your parent’s wishes is developmentally healthy. Not doing so stunts your independence and self-regulation. You shouldn’t be living to constantly please others, even the people who love you.
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myfandomrealitea · 7 days ago
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It never ceases to amaze me when Antis tell me to "seek therapy" because I'm cringe (I'm a selfshipper and I'm weird. I have weird ships. Doesn't help that I'm also neurodivergent) . Antis constantly tell me i need therapy because I selfship and simp for fictional characters and have dark ships. They honestly think that therapists are Wizards whose job is to magically transform "cringe" Weirdoes like me into normies, rather than stop legitimately distressing/harmful behavior or provide healthy coping mechanisms. Also therapists generally aren't gonna give a shit about selfshipping until it causes mental distress or interferes with life or otherwise causes harm.
Antis fundamentally do not understand the actual goals and processes of therapy, nor the fact that it's also a therapist's job to tell you when you do not need therapy for something or when they can assist you with accepting and understanding something, but not changing or eradicating it.
Therapy is not to make people "normal." Therapy is not to make people fit boxes or standards. Therapy is not to transform people into the same baseline identity. Therapy is not to inherently change a person's hobbies or interests.
And while those are flexible statements when accounting for things like behavioral or personality disorders, ect, a professional, neutral, well-balanced therapist is not going to tell someone they are wrong or cringe or something like self-shipping. As you pointed out, unless the behavior and thoughts are presenting in a harmful way, it is a completely normal and harmless behavior.
Antis essentially think that therapy is some sort of correctional camp for anyone 'weird' or 'cringe.' And that is simply not true. A visit to any actual, genuine therapist would quickly disillusion them of the notion. Antis would not like being confronted about their mindsets and thoughts and being made to break them down and explain them.
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sunnyaalisse · 5 months ago
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Wanna know how to manage anxiety effectively? (I'm a psychologist) Formulate your anxious thoughts in a form of "What Will I Do if X happens?" and then answer as best as you can. You will find that there are 4 main types of situations your anxiety might be asking about: 1) nonsensical, unlikely, useless (WWID if I get kidnapped by a UFO?) 2) rational, predictable (WWID if I get a bad grade?) 3) rational, unpredictable (WWID if I go to a new job and something bad happens?) 4) unpredictable and uncontrolled (WWID if I get attacked on my way home?) Here's how to deal with each type: 1) unlikely, useless, nonsensical? answer it like the person who's asking you this question is a 13 year old child who's trying to annoy you. "that would suck, Timmy, but it sure would make a cool story that I would tell to anybody who would listen if I survived" 2) rational, predictable? make a date with this question. find time to sit down and legitimately think of a plan on what you're going to do. "I'll go talk to the teacher, ask what I can do to improve my grade, then I'll talk to my friends and ask them to explain the topic to me, then I'll talk to my parents and explain the situation if they're interested in hearing about it" 3) rational, unpredictable? you don't have to answer it in a detailed way, just decide on the first few things you will realistically do in any sort of distressful situation. "I'll call my friend and tell them about my situation, then I'll buy myself some ice-cream and figure out my next steps with the help of relevant people, google and determination." 4) uncontrolled? plan for what happens after the part you can't control, once you're in charge again. "I'll call the police, I know where the nearest hospital is, I have my friend's numbers memorised so I'll call them, either way I'll deal with whatever happens once I'm in control" anxiety related to the events that already happened (I said "you too" to the waiter who said "have a good meal") truly means to ask about either the consequences (what if now they think I'm dumb?) or the repeating of the situation (what if I do it again?). you can still reformulate these questions the same way: "WWID if they treat me like I'm stupid next time I'm there?" and "WWID if I say the same thing again, how can I make it charming?" or "WWID to avoid repeating the same situation again, what can I say instead?" anxiety is a mechanism that means to fill the gaps in a person's perception of their future, it seeks clarity, stability, normalcy and control. It doesn't need to clarify IF the situation will happen, it needs to clarify how the situation will be DEALT WITH if it does happen. unanswered "what will I do if..." questions tend to become a broken record because the need for clarity is not fulfilled. more often than not if the needs for clarity and normalcy are fulfilled, anxiety lets up. even questions like "WWID if I die?" can be answered: "if there's an afterlife I'll try to punch god" or "I'll ask if they have soda here" or "if there's no afterlife I'll do nothing, but the world will go on without me, complex, busy and beautiful" also, since anxiety can be caused by physical factors like exhaustion and overuse of caffeine, dealing with these factors could be very helpful. this type of anxiety doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the body, so grilling yourself with questions won't help in this case. rest, nourishment and sleep will do a lot of good though.
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flipfliqyaoi · 21 days ago
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hi.........
. Totally anonymous asker right here..... What do you like about flipfliq.... 🗝️
Helo totally anonymous asker they are my sunshine and rainbows for a lot of reasonsssdhj both personal and urrm my justifiable insanity😻 gonna be long bc it's a broad question, might be incoherent bare w me
LOVE EVERYTHING ABT THEM they r soo so silly n lowk complex n also sighs I can rant forever (Double Whammy & W.A.R. Journal oh how i adore you) Fliq has been with Flippy through thick & thin you guys. From the battlefield to all the way back home — he's always been a strong soldier, protecting the Host the second he gets triggered out ever since he was split despite how much Flippy hates his violent methods. It doesn't change the fact that without him, Flippy would literally be long gone in that mission to kill General Tiger, or genuinely just at any given time when he was in the special forces because tell me how Flippy even got through basic training.... that Ka-Pow episode consistently showed how clumsy and uncoordinated he is, I'm not even sure how he got a leader role in that operation but. yk u go girl
Fliq cares SO badly for Flippy and yet both sides literally do not understand eachother in terms of why they do/think in the way they do. Which causes a lot of misunderstandings. (they got cursed with world's most nonexistent sys communication and complete amnesia after every switch)
They're mad asf at eachother bc in Fliqs POV he doesn't understand WHY Flippy doesn't want him to protect him anymore after they've gone home. honestly taking a huge offense on it because "fym. oh NOW you don't need me anymore, what?? After all I done for u? Saving our life a multitude of times out in the field? are you kidding me?"(Also dude carried until they were ranked up from Private to Sargeant according to the Chevron on their uniform if we compare his Ka-Pow & usual fit. goddang !! I also believe he's in the Special Forces because of the distinct green beret), it hurts him knowing the guy he's been protecting for years just hates his ass so much, like "damn ok fuck you ungrateful ass bitch tf" (← he says this and then immediately starts crying just thinking about Flippy being nice to him) (Hear Today Gone Tomorrow episode reference aha). Fliq thinks like this because violence and war is quite literally all he's ever known before they got back to town. He doesn't understand that the civilians/friends aren't enemies(exception to ppl w inability to defend themselves such as Mole who's blind and obviously kids and yeah etc) because he legitimately cannot grasp the idea of a place or people being peaceful and civil because that's such an insanely drastic contrast over what he's used to. It's a whole new environment for him and he just doesn't get it, so he defaults to the assumption that whatever sound/visual/thought that triggered him out means danger is ahead. Just like how his role has always been. and he just does what he needs to do every time he's front (annihilating everyone around him lol). Since he learnt quickly that the only way to save himself from battles were to be equally or more violent and hypervigilant against who he perceives as an enemy unlike how Flippy is more kindhearted and a klutz, those traits inevitably become a problem when it comes to the two polar-opposite environments they've been exposed to. Flippy struggling in the field ; Fliq mad struggling to act all calm and civil ; and both of them(mostly Flippy) distressing during n after seeing what they've done in the PTSD attack(s) before Flippy was like OK THATS IT!!!! and went to therapy for it lalalala
In Flippy's POV, he's upset and because he's yet to find Fliqs reasoning as to why he's like. so aggressive all the time. guys they suck ass at communicating it's literally ruining them. He thinks Fliq is attacking ppl for no fucking reason to the point where even he himself FEARS Fliq(as shown in the Helicopter and Alicorn dream...thing, I'm so not normal about that episode I'll talk abt it later), because any Flippy episode before Hear Today Gone Tomorrow he's been under the assumption that when he blacks out and takes front again in the aftermath — it was him that did all that even tho he doesn't. Remember doing it. And is visibly shocked and petrified over what he seems to be capable of.(he's literally the last person to even want to go ballistic, he likes tea parties and quietness and silly 'childish' things bro wouldn't even hurt a butterfly. something something DID is covert u can't just tell too, so he's been like w.what the freaak is wrong with me 😥‼️ andd bearing guilt over whomever he's hurt during blackouts for however long until he figured it out and um got therapy n prescription meds for his PTSD n stuff even tho his therapy sesh were lowkey kinda balls um at least he's getting help yay!! And these two start to form better communication albeit super fucking slow at first with said therapy!!) (speaking of butterflies oh i LOOVEEE how its one of the few ways we see Flippy get switched in again in the show... his fronttriggers showcasing what stuff he likes and AGH), he never rly expected that, well. he has a headmate that's still tryna avenge him in those blackouts. Smiles and big thumbs up yay 😋👍 bro was dissociating n just mentally gone in his entire time in the military gang he stays a silly billy forever n ever
Urm so yeah I may like some stuffs abt them a teensy bit!! and I may like their dumb problems that can literally be fixed if they could jus talk to eachother lalalala they r so silly togetherrree
this is gonna be so much longer if i include how insane I am of the entire Double Whammy & Hear Today Gone Tomorrow episodes. Among 20 other details and don't even get me started on his bestie Flaky n how important they are to Flippy SCREAAAMS cough. so im gonna end this here 4 now!!! Ty anon for being my first ask YAY everyone start loudly cheering rn!!
who would've thought dumb gay bears can fix me
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snickersnackety · 1 year ago
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this is just what america Is Like. no regard for the fact that pedestrians have just as much right to public spaces as drivers. it's built into the city design and traffic laws.
i love crossing the street in front of cars where i can see the driver is visibly annoyed because like. are you mad at me? am i making you mad? are you upset? are you gonna kill me about it? gonna vehicular manslaughter me? gonna split my head open like a watermelon with that big strong manly truck? are you mad at me?
#like im sitting in my nice comfy car that will more than make up for the time I spent waiting for pedestrians#please go ahead#being a pedestrian should not be stressful#yet america goes out of its way to make that the case#bree speaks#i like to stop for bikes coming up to the signaled bike path before theyve had the chance to press the button#cause like the effort to getting a bike moving is much more than the effort of pushing a gas pedal#but i dont always see them coming and i feel bad#likewise id rather sit in my car a minute or two longer than be the reason a pedestrian has to stand under a signal waiting for it to chang#or go out of their way to walk to the next crosswalk#or feel distressed in any way#america brain#my destination and safety is not any more important than theirs just because I could kill them if i was careless enough#and I hope that drivers would have the same respect for me as a biker or pedestrian#so yeah no I dont feel bad interrupting someone's drive because I've done my part#yes my safety is my responsibility#but as a driver with great power you must also accept the great responsibility of not being a danger to others#intentionally or unintentionally#my life is on the line but so is your freedom#social contract and all that#anyways#i think the problem is Americans have very little experience as pedestrians#and the experiences they do have are colored by their far greater multitude of experiences in a car#so combined with driving being the onlu legitimate way to exercise any kind of freedom of movement in most of the US#driving feels more like a right than the privilege it truly is and should be#compared to walking
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naamahdarling · 7 months ago
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MY medical update:
I am beginning to feel like I will never reach the end of anything. I am legitimately folding like a wet house of cards. My mental health is being profoundly negatively affected as my identity as "a unique and vibrant human being with a meaningful life" is increasingly subsumed into a deeply trauma-adjacent and depersoning identity as "a patient", with all the associated expectations that I will repeatedly and with minimal complaint allow people I barely know or have never met access to my emotions and my traumatized and marginalized body. That is not safe space within which to exist. Medical professionals, even the very kind ones, often forget the toll that "care" can take. (Bad ones disregard it altogether.)
My unusually high degree of emotional awareness allows me to see what is happening, and even allows me to cope with it very well, but "very well" is still not enough to make this sustainable over the long term. I don't actually know where to go or what to do from here.
I am torn between wanting to get all of these appointments out of the way as quickly as possible, so that I can relax without anything hanging over my head, and spacing things out just to give myself room to fucking breathe even though that means I will always have something lurking in the near future, causing me dread. I've run the math in my head over and over and I still can't work it out. There are too many unknowns, and too many variables, and too many ways things could go wrong either way I go.
I don't even know if there is a right choice. I don't know if there is a best answer. I've never been under this kind of pressure for so long before, I have been struggling with one thing or another since before the beginning of the year, and it is genuinely starting to do what I believe could turn into lasting harm.
I had a long and helpful talk with my boyfriend tonight, and while it did not fix much, it did help me to understand that the constant pressure on me is making it difficult for him to be here for me as much as he would like to be able to, and that's obviously distressing to him. That hit me really hard, because that is exactly the position I was in earlier this year trying to get his medication refilled and trying to help him deal with a deeply incompetent dental clinic.
I very much appreciate that he shared that with me, and I probably will try to find a way to slow things down and space things out, because even if I don't know that is what is best for me, if that is what is best for him, that's what I want to do. I've been so overwhelmed trying to manage my own emotional state that I sadly have not stopped to think about the effect this has had on him. I do feel guilty about that, but the important thing is that he let me know and I heard him.
I am very tired, and I'm praying that next week is uneventful. I don't have anything scheduled, but that doesn't mean that something annoying or even actually horrible might not occur.
Right now I'm going to have a snack and go to bed and hope that the pharmacy refills my meds tomorrow so that I can go back to having 30% less ADHD.
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couldtransitionsaveher · 6 months ago
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As someone with a trans partner who is in and out of jail on a somewhat regular basis: Fuck you.
You could have slapped a trigger warning before that link, but no, it was necessary to fuck people's day up, right? Punish them for not knowing a term, because how can you be a good ally, if you don't know everything?
If your post had been well intentioned, you'd have put trigger warning on there and put the link under the cut with a very short description of what was going on, but you chose to not do any of that, because it wasn't your intention.
"I suggest you read up on it" yeah, I suggest you go fuck yourself.
Forgive me. The only intention I had with my poll was to simply gauge Tumblr's awareness on an issue that's been on my mind. I had no intention of causing any distress. I made the mistake of putting all of the trigger warnings in the tags rather than the post itself, and it resulted in a lot of pain. I'm legitimately so sorry. If you all would like me to delete the post, feel free to inform me.
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