#this is beyond hilarious i-

[papanowo]

what’s worse than a nonchalant jim kirk? yellow shirt leonard mccoy, obviously

mckirk week day 6 : transporter malfunction @mckirkevents

< this is less shippy than i wanted it to be i might make a sequel . . . >

[hephaestiions]

It stands to reason that Harry’s holding groceries when he runs into Draco Malfoy for the first time in twenty years.

Well— doesn’t run into, exactly. No, more like peers through a shop window like a right barmy bastard, bits of overspilling lettuce brushing his arm and passers-by on Diagon shooting him strange looks.

Of course Malfoy has to look up from the till— because, yes, Draco Malfoy is a shopkeeper on Diagon Alley apparently— and see him goggling. So, of course, Harry has to step inside, as though he meant to make a stop at— right, yeah, Narcissus Needlework Studio— all along, holding brown paper packages of vegetables.

Malfoy’s frowning when Harry makes his way over to the till.

“I don’t want any trouble,” he says. “I’ve registered the shop, everything’s perfectly within regulation—“

“Trouble?” Harry blinks. “Oh, no. I’m not an Auror. Anymore.”

“I know that,” Malfoy says unhappily. “The whole Wizarding World all over Europe knows that. Only you’ve never left well enough alone, have you, Potter?”

Harry’s forty next month. He’s lived twenty years seeing hide nor hair of Draco Malfoy, and he’s never gone looking. Well, except for that one time when he was twenty one and went to the Manor as a trainee Auror for a— well, it was a routine check, really. And that other time when he was twenty five and thought he saw a man at a club who looked just like Malfoy from the back and was convinced for four months Malfoy was back in London and must be up to something if no one knew about it. And that time when he was thirty two— and, oh, alright, Harry hasn’t ever left well enough alone, not when it comes to Malfoy, at least.

This time, though, Harry really didn’t go looking. And it’s definitely Malfoy.

“I just wanted some— thread,” Harry says. A needlework studio should have some of that, shouldn’t it?

“Thread,” says Malfoy. He looks down, deliberately, at Harry’s lettuce.

“For Molly,” Harry says. “As a, um, birthday present. New shop on Diagon, thought I’d pop by. Seemed the place, you know. Didn’t know it was yours.”

Molly’s birthday, Malfoy doesn’t need to know, is in December. It’s June.

Malfoy continues to stare at him, until Harry’s unsure whether to get indignant about it all or turn tail and flee.

“Well,” says Malfoy before he can make a choice. “Embroidery yarn for you, then, Potter. Come along.”

-

“I’ll see you again, I assume,” Malfoy says at the end of what transpires to be a surprisingly smooth purchase.

Harry nods.

He only realises after he leaves that there’s no reason for him to come back. He’s seen it for himself— what Draco Malfoy’s up to these days. Nothing nefarious or suspicious, just yarn and needles and tapestries on Diagon.

Except, well, he’s committed now, hasn’t he? And Harry Potter’s a man of his word. He said yes, when Malfoy asked— Malfoy asked!— so he’ll be back.

And really, if he has to invent Hermione’s sudden new and passionate interest in needlework— well. That’s between Harry and his lettuce.

written for @drarrymicrofic’s prompt “sewing”. i just personally think harry james potter could be seventy five and still rapidly become obsessed with draco malfoy at any given moment.

[spiritoast]

assorted last specter doodles

[exlibrismortis]

very funny to me that both light and L have doppelgangers/a lookalike but one is an adored pop-star with a tv show and the other is a jam-craving serial killer who has a habit of crawling around on all fours.

[commander0fmyheart]

Princes Patt smells something LGBTQ happening

[phantomrose96]

wow I love finishing games at an extremely reasonable hour

>3:27am >filled with regret >but also get fucked Louie

[starry-bi-sky]

Danyal Al Ghul's missed potential - this kid is not gonna behave like his canon self if he's with the league of assassins until his late formative years, and my reasoning why

(feel free to take this all with a grain of salt this is just my thoughts on it, this is all mostly amusing to me and isn't trying to be negative towards anyone else)

similar to how i was talking about how danny growing up in crime alley would affect him, demon twin aus with danyal al ghul make me laugh a lot (affectionate) because... whose teaching danny to unlearn all the ecofascism he picked up from the league of assassins? whose teaching him to be kind? to be gentle? Not the LoA thats for certain.

(you could plausibly say Jazz but she's only 2 years older than Danny and do you really expect a fellow child to properly explain why X is wrong to another child and have it be 100% effective? i don't doubt it'd help to an extent, but not in the same way an adult explaining it would)

plus a ton of other things, like whose teaching him to value human life? not the LoA. Whose teaching him how to adjust to living with American society after he ends up with the Fentons when he's 8-9-10? Who teaches him that killing is wrong, whose enforcing that?

(not the Fentons if you're going the neglectful parent route, and Jazz can try but i really don't think Danny is going to listen to her, a stranger who isn't even part of his grandfather's league)

How do you teach a child to value human life when the greatest development window for that opportunity has closed and he's already formed his own opinions?

You're not gonna get a Danny whose exactly like his canon attitude if he's staying with the league during his formative years (0-8 years old). you're not. You could get someone LIKE it, potentially, or someone who has traces of it or is similar -- like danny's wit and jokes and sarcasm, and on some level his kindness. but you're not gonna have a carbon copy. Development doesn't work that way. "nature" can only do so much in the face of nurture.

If anything, it doesn't even have to be a major change -- in the league he cans till be kind, but it's probably going to manifest in a different way than what is considered normal. Tough love, for one. But there's gonna be something that affects him negatively. Why make him 'always good/kind' when you can make him a brat who develops into a kinder (if spikier than in canon) person?

TLDR: Danyal Al Ghul would not be like how he is in canon if he's with the league until his late formative years -- not without any lasting pr permanent impacts from the league at least. Missed potential to make him an absolute nightmare like damian was -- especially in his early years when he first arrived to the Fenton house.

(this doesn't apply to danyal al ghul aus where he's either given to the fentons as a baby/is reincarnated/etc. this is mostly aimed for danyal al ghul aus where he fakes his death at like, 7-10 and somehow ends up, personality-wise like his completely canon self by 14 without any differences.)

(and even then if he's five or four, or even three, he would still be traumatized and influenced by the league. he'll just have more time to adjust. the sooner he leaves the league the more likely he is to be like his canon self, but not like an exact copy)

(more under the cut)

Anyways what I'm saying is that there is prime missed Danyal al Ghul potential to make him an absolute NIGHTMARE to the Fentons however way he ends up with them, just like Damian was with the Waynes! Cuz why does Damian get all the fun? Danny got the same training and endoctrine as him! He is also an ex-assassin! Why is Danny the only one who is 'well adjusted and non-violent' hm? Hmm?

Why can't he also be mean, and stabby, and a total stuck-up in some way or another? Have fun with his characterization, its prime opportunity to play play-doh and clay with him! If he starts out as X how does he get the personality traits of Y, and thus become XY?

Like take this with a grain of salt if you will, but make him arrogant. Make him an asshole! Make him a bad person at first! Because he will be! He's the blood son of the batman and you mean to tell me that damian is the only one arrogant about it at first? Make him stabby and mean even at 14 when he's begun to chill out! Have fun with it! If he's with the Fentons at any point past the age of four or five then he's gonna be a nightmare to handle because he still remembers the league and his time there.

(and while it gives him more time to chill the hell out, his time at the league is still gonna leave an impact on him.)

also what im saying as well is have him and sam potentially get along like a house on FIRE. Again, Danny grew up under the views of an ecofascist cult and nobody to challenge those views to him until he got to amity park at whatever age in late formative years he was at. He could be about as intense or even MORE intense about environmental awareness/rights than Sam is!

(also him being supremely unimpressed with Sam's wealth. he gave up a palace in the mountains for this town. because that's funny to me - like let his past have more influence on him! it'll be fun!)

you could have a danny who doesn't kill but doesn't fully understand the value of human life because jazz is like two years older than him and isn't that good at explaining why people's lives are important. he won't kill but he's not morally opposed to it. there's very little chance he actually gets bullied at school because he nearly killed Dash the first time he tried anything.

Danny could have scars, physical ones, because its implied in multiple canon that training starts at toddling (my best bet is 3 at minimum and ~maybe~ 2 but only on the later side of 2. Good fucking luck getting any infant under 2 to do anything you ask, ESPECIALLY assassin training. They're gonna stick the weapon in their mouth sooner than they're gonna do katas. This is coming from a daycare teacher.)

there's more examples of how danny being at the league during his formative years would affect him, but those are just some of them. he could have a sword! An appreciation for weaponry and nature. Maybe he still speaks all shakespearan and formal, does he still make bodily threats to people? If Damian is still threatening people at 14 why can't danny?

[grimalkinmessor]

I love the Light Grows Up In Wammy's House premises but I also think I love it in a very different way than most people do

Like I don't see it as a Childhood Friends/Rivals™ trope for Lawlight, I very much see it as Light growing up being told that there's someone better than him, someone he must not only surpass, but become—and I think he does the opposite of what BB does. He starts to hate L not because of anything L actually did (because they wouldn't have met) but because everyone keeps implying that L is better than him when Light KNOWS that he's the superior one. Beyond finds out that L is addicted to sweets and immediately changes his diet to include cakes and candies, while Light immediately wipes everything sweet from his mental list of desired foods.

He is perfectly polite, he's the baby of the group, and he can do no wrong in every other aspect of life except for the fact that he vehemently doesn't want to take L's place no matter how hard they push him. He wants to become his own sort of detective on his own merit, and he'll be damned if he has to use L's name while he does it. If he solves any cases it's anonymously, under a pseudonym.

And if he ever meets L, they won't be friends. But that vaguely disconcerting teen/man that sometimes sits in the corners of rooms and talks to no one is very interested in what Light has to say, no matter what it is, and seems to both enjoy it when Light talks shit about L and yet is still somehow annoyed by it. They get into heated arguments and he'll steal Light's things and pull his hair and mess up his clothes no matter how many times the caretakers chastise him for it (though even that happens surprisingly rarely). Light would stop talking to him entirely if he wasn't his only hope of getting out of Wammy's little genius factory both physically and mentally intact.

Light makes plans to run away and runs them by the broody teenager he's tolerated, who helps him pick out any holes in his plans, but somehow the staff always seem to catch Light before he can escape. It happens so often that Light even begins to think that someone's snitching on him, but he's only ever told one other person, and he wouldn't care enough to stop Light from leaving....

Would he?

Or, alternatively, Light never meets that stranger in the corner. Instead, Watari happily sternly informs him that L has personally selected Light to help him on cases. Isn't that great? Isn't it an honor? A and B are practically roiling with jealousy, Light should be grateful.

But Light is not grateful. He takes the news with a big ole fake smile, and silently plots L's mysterious disappearance before he's even come face to face with the man. He wants to make it on his own, he doesn't want to be reliant on L's name and Wammy's money and generosity forever, and he loathes the fact that he's been metaphorically chained to L's title in all the ways he didn't want to be.

A tiny Light, accompanying a teenage L places and becoming his face (both because L is petty and because he thinks its funny when police are introduced to a little kid as their Consulting Detective) around the world, all while they throw vicious barbs back and forth and spend quiet Christmases together and throw each other under the bus for fuckups and try foreign cuisines together and struggle to keep (L)/gain (Light) the power and ground they both don't even actually want.

L gives Light all the cases he doesn't want, like he's doing him a favor, and Light regularly calls A and B to smack talk L behind his back and turn the rest of his successors against him.

I can even imagine some amalgamation of both of these scenarios happening, or even eight more vaguely like them in the vein of L and Light being both completely antagonistic towards each other while also simultaneously growing so codependent that they can't stand not knowing what the other one is doing at any point in the day and also get absurdly jealous whenever anyone else even speaks to them.

Or EVEN a scenario where L doesn't pay attention to Light at all until he's grown and out in the world on his own. Light makes a quick name for himself, decidedly divorced from Wammy's influence, and eventually meets L on accident through a case L is working on, wherein L becomes intrigued with him and looks into his history only to find that he's a Wammy kid and L goes "Oh. You're one of mine."

To which Light takes decidedly poorly given that the claim both riles and razes Things™ in him because growing up with the vaguest desires to be like the man in front of you even though you loathe him and those desires were quickly squashed and never thought of willingly or voiced aloud leaves behind both the intense need to alienate yourself from said man entirely and to get close enough to become better than him for all to see and witness—only for Light to find that he can't alienate himself completely from L anymore because L decidedly won't let him and he can never quite seem to surpass him either because L is constantly nipping at his heels, echoing his thoughts with brilliant deductions of his own, and it turns out that trying to intellectually sprint past someone who only starts running when YOU do and has a distinct headstart is harder than it looks.

[dxcstrange-stuff]

'I used to have a magpie when I was a child. I caught it myself.'

She says, 'I cannot imagine you as a child.'

He thinks, neither can I. I cannot picture myself.

- The Mirror and the Light, Hilary Mantel

[bayetea]

I think it's really annoying that leo has completely falsified memories of jason too and this is barely acknowledged in the books

[number-one-shadisper-shipper]

I know the '06 timeline got erased but it would have been really funny to see a Silver/Dadow interaction when Silver got back to the future from that whole incident:

Shadow: Hey kid so how was the past? Did you save everything?

Silver: *glares*

Shadow: ... What?

Silver: YOU KICKED ME IN THE HEAD

Shadow: Oh yeah hehe I was hoping you would forget about that

Silver: FORGET ABOUT IT? YOU KICKED ME IN THE HEAD!!!!

Shadow: Okay to be fair I didn't know who you were and also you were trying to commit murder so....

[hellishfig]

god… rewatching neverafter again

and the intro scenes are a mixed bag in terms of terror

rosamund is kind of freaky with the vines and the dead princes, but then we have gerard’s, which is very amusing. pib’s is also pretty funny. mother goose’s is dark bc his son is dead, but they still joke about the gander

then we get to ylfa. and brennan and emily show the darkest and saddest origin story i have ever seen for little red riding hood. a little girl, lost in every way possible, confused and alone and scared, begging her mother to let her in, and her mother refuses. her mother says that her daughter is dead and gone and a monster stands in her place. ylfa doesn’t want to be a monster. she wants to go home. but she is different, and her home turns on her, and that betrayal turns her on them. she huffs and she puffs and she blows the family that left her for dead away

and pinocchio. pinocchio whose mother is a shadow in a doorway. pinocchio who became a boy by being good, only to lose that gift by lying to save his father. pinocchio who loves his father enough to lie, and must now keep on lying to serve a woman he has never even looked in the eyes

there’s something very fitting about the children in this fairy tale land having the most horrifying stories. those stories about children straying from the path or needing to never tell a lie or misbehave in order to be real, they’re meant as warnings. be good, children, or you’ll never have the respect that adults get. be good, or the monsters in the shadows will come for you. be good, or you’ll die

in a season that was meant to be horror but was subverted by the players knowing the theme, i appreciate even more the darker corners of the story

[oneluckydragon]

Jumping onto the text post meme train w/ Echo and Sora ft. future trio because I can't help myself.

[batbabydamian]

DC January 2024 Solicitations - Comics Featuring Damian! 🦇

BATMAN AND ROBIN #5 1/9/24

Written by Joshua Williamson

Art and Cover by Simone Di Meo

Variant Covers: Kael Ngu (+B/W 1:50), Jorge Molina, Pete Woods (1:25)

Batman and Robin have been separated! Batman works with White Rabbit to track down the new femme fatale Shush while his son, Damian, hunts down the criminal mastermind who is targeting his father! But Damian won't like who he finds! Don't miss out on the shocking ending!

BATMAN AND ROBIN ANNUAL 2024 1/30/24

Written by Joshua Williamson

Art and Cover by Howard Porter

Variant Covers: Dustin Nguyen, David Nakayama, Gleb Melnikov (1:25)

FATHER-AND-SON ROAD TRIP! Batman and Robin have gone through hell the last few months, so Bruce decides to take Damian on a camping trip to bond. But as they try to enjoy the great outdoors, they find a different kind of hunting ground..one that hunts the most dangerous game! Trapped and cut off from their weapons and backup, Batman and Robin must use their surroundings to hold off and take down some of DC's deadliest mercenaries!

NIGHTWING #110 1/16/24

Written by Tom Taylor

Art and Cover by Sami Basri

Variant Covers: Dan Mora, Travis Moore, Ethan Young (1:25)

Nightwing, Batgirl and the Titans are doing all they can to save a world overrun by Beasts. Heroes have become threats, and one of the biggest threats now stalks the streets of Bludhaven. Where once there was a Robin, now there is a cat. Can Jon Kent and Nightwing save the city from Damian Wayne? Or will the Super Sons be torn apart forever?

TRINITY SPECIAL #1 1/16/24

Written by Tom King

Art by Belén Ortega and Daniel Sampere

Variant Covers: Belén Ortega, Jorge Jimenez, Mitch Gerads (1:25), Evan "Doc" Shaner (1:50)

Featuring DC's brightest new star, Trinity! Discover Lizzie's earliest adventures as she takes the world of heroes by storm! Reprinting the character's first appearance alongside hilarious tales of the little Amazon and her Super Son babysitters, this special will be an instant classic for fans old and new. Plus, a brand-new story from the all-star creative team behind Wonder Woman that will tease the future of Diana's daughter!

WONDER WOMAN #5 1/30/24

Written by Tom King

Art and Cover by Daniel Sampere and Tomeu Morey

Variant Covers: Leirix, Julian Totino Tedesco, Cris Delara (1:25), Daniel Sampere (+B/W 1:50)

If the U.S. government can't stop her, then who can?! As Sargent Steel retreats to gather deadlier forces, the Wonder Girls call on Diana, begging her to lay down her lasso. Will she see the truth before it's too late? Plus, Trinity invites the sons of Batman and Superman to Themvscira for a contest thev'll never forget!

[thegreatyin]

this nemesis ambition started out a little slow but I am getting closer to finding that bastard who killed my wife, and I’ll not rest a minute now that im far closer to on his trail

sorry got in character for a second

Anyways fun ambition so far very fucked up though

congratulations on joining the murder club anon!!!! depending on who you ask the name refers to either people who have murdered or people who have witnessed murder. usually both. actually extremely often both. it's a swell time you'll feel right at home (don't mind our collective skyglass knife collection in the back)

[swan2swan]

There are few subtle jokes funnier than Zuko not even knowing Katara's name until after he joined the Gaang.