#this is being midwestern

[deadsetobsessions]

Danny is desperately running away. Not from a robber, they’re not much of a threat to him anyways, but from a really intense Batman.

“Oh my ancients,” he muttered as he sprinted away from the dude swinging above him. “Can you please go away?! I already paid you back, dude!” Danny raised his voice at the swooping figure above him. He wished he could go ghost, but that would break his cover so fast as a “meta” or whatever.

“Stop running,” Batman landed in front of him, growl reverberating around them.

“Stop chasing me then! It’s bad manners!” And Danny’s from the midwest, so that’s an actual concern.

“How did you find Two-Face?” Batman loomed before stepping back when Danny’s shoulders curled inwards.

“Oh. Is that what this is all about?” Danny huffed. “It was self defense! And… the pun was too good to not, you know? Yeah, no, I had to. Prime opportunity.”

The cowl might hide it but Danny always knew when people are doing that nose pinch of exasperation. It’s a talent he carefully cultivated through shenanigans and puns.

Batman? Definitely inwardly pinching the bridge of his nose.

“How did you find him? Harvey Dent is a dangerous criminal.”

“In my defense,” Danny started, like a teenager caught guiltily shoving the entire cookie jar into his room instead of leaving some for the rest of the family. “He found me first. Well, no, he found the kids first. He started it!”

Batman somehow raised an eyebrow. How the hell does he do that?? The cowl covered the entire upper half of his face! Danny squinted at him. Is Batman a meta?

“Listen, I didn’t start it, but my sister sure as heck taught me how to end it. It’s not my fault Dent couldn’t handle a beat down. And I told you I was gonna pay you back for that one (1) Big Dent! If you wanted cash, you should have said so!”

“Hrm.”

Maybe it was the fancy gear. Maybe it was the pointy head thing. Batman reminded Danny way too much of Vlad and he got the ick.

“Okay, well, good talk, bye!” Danny ducked and ran, faster than he had before.

Batman grappled up and forward, trying to grab him. Danny, with years of dodge training under his belt and impeccable teenage instincts of gtfo, managed to dodge Batman’s reaching hands with a hollered “OPE!”

“Bye! See you never!” Danny ducked behind an alley and turned invisible as Batman swooped past.

When he was sure the vigilante was gone, he slowly faded into the visible spectrum.

“Jeez. Better warn Amy about this. Maybe I should hide in Crime Alley until this blows past.”

——

Gotham’s underbelly had a new tale to sling around their bars that week and a new demographic to be wary of.

The Terrors, the kiddie gang that ran perpendicular to Crime alley, was preyed on by Harvey Dent.

“What do you think you’re doing to them?!”

“Ahhhhhh!!!” Harvey screamed, flailing as a creature of shadows and claws- god damn those sharp ass claws- descended upon him, scarring it just one side but both sides of his very vulnerable face!

“Back the hell off of my kids, you fashion reject!”

As for Harvey… well, he’s developed an aversion to the smell of peanut butter and small children.

——

Batman, hunting down Danny because he’s worried about the endangered meta kid: you left me a Dent.

Danny, because he sees a vigilante bum rushing him: I have no cash! That’s the only way I can pay you back rn!

——

Batman, trying to lecture Danny about safety because he’s a worried batdad:

Danny: ew a rich stalker trying to be my dad!

@tricksterwitchkat can you tell I’ve been thinking about your pun for days? This is for you, thank you so much for that pun, it made my entire week.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

everybody go home. this is my magnum opus

[creekbed-burial]

[blasterb0t]

🙋‍♀️@victorzhuzhakin

Finished my cheeseball while drawing this

[ratatatastic]

the finnish food tasting segment finally dropped and there is quite literally nothing funnier than maffhew who desires the approval and opinion of his great beloved captain in what he considers him an expert in aka finland so honestly does his opinion really matter in the grand scheme of things if sasha doesnt like said food?

match made in terrible eating manner heaven, amen

[notbecauseofvictories]

the real villain of this movie is new york city, because in an alternate universe Patrick Bateman is a radio DJ for some alt station in des moines or detroit, has strong opinions about every album ever released and turns into an insult comic the moment you question those opinions. he's very happy, wouldn't even know what a face peel is.

[starry-bi-sky]

more clone^2 memes because i think they're funny

[caterinaofsiena]

my dark vanessa | supernatural | mysterious skin

[cementcornfield]

Did you see the clip of Joe yesterday?

Is it a clip now? Oh lord....was it funny at least?

It was the first time he ever used the F word in a conference.

He cursed? Y'all lying...I be trying to get him to curse, he don't curse when I'm talking to him...

[regonold]

So just had absolutely brilliant idea

Lancer was in Gotham for an extended period of time for reasons but as he was here he decided to make the most of it he went and saw the local tourist attractions he visited the famous land marks of Gotham he fist fought a guy on the street over a disagreement on literature theories, Kissed the guy he fought with and scored a library date with him oh! And he even got to be in a rouge attack how exciting

Basically lancer is on Gotham for a bit and ends up fighting jason over literature but I'm not nearly smart enough to know what they would actually fight/discuss about but anyway they fight have one of those it gets so heated you can't tell if they're angery or horny at each other and kiss then jason asks lancer out on a date

[hoziersmilligan]

i just know adam romanticized a freezing, whiteout minnesota winter while in the cage because he was just so homesick. he was slowly losing his memories of snow days out of school and building tunnels through the snow as a kid for hours on end. only coming back inside, head to toe drenched, when his mom would call for him that dinner and a hot chocolate was ready. adam would relay these memories to michael in the cage to keep them from being forgotten for good. and then adam and michael are all of a sudden free and michael, who could tell just how much these memories of home meant to adam, takes adam up to minnesota in the middle of january for the true, authentic experience.

and adam is grateful for all of five minutes before he's like, "yeah... so back to cairo next or? maybe cancún?"

[midwestingmyemo]

born to live in the midwest and sneak out of my house with my friends to go get stoned and skate around born to live in england, not do drugs, have few friends and can barely skate

[creekbed-burial]

[padawansuggest]

Dad: dad’s all grumpy and out of sorts.

Me: *worried cause they ARE in Cali and he’s a former fire fighter* oh????

Dad: Yeah. His granddaughter from Cindy is now a grandson.

Me: *trying to scoot out of the room* oh?

Dad: Yeah. But. That’s not his issue.

Me: Oh?!?

Dad: yeah. He’s pissed that every other word out of his mouth is fuck.

Me: 😂😂😂 oh!!!

Dad: he’s been trying for years to get me to stop too 😂

Me: lmaoooo oh so he fits right in.

Dad: yeah 😂😂

[ratatatastic]

"Funny enough I—like, if street hockey, ministicks, I always wanted to be a goalie too! Like, for some reason I always wanted to go in net. You know, probably because of [my Dad] and then, um, you know, once you get dinged a couple times and the shots get too hard you realise—then it's not so much fun after all so... Yeah, it was great he'd always—" "You probably wanted to be goalie 'cuz you're fucking crazy, man! Those guys are bananas! I actually went as a goalie in morning skate one time when I was suspended in the coast, and it was the scariest thing ever, bro. It's nothing like blocking a shot because you're literally just standing there, and these guys are shooting right at you. It's unbelievable!" "Yeah! You gotta get in the way of the stuff to save it! That's crazy! I know, and like obviously gear is like great and they don't really feel—but there is, like, that psychological thing going on where, like, you know, you wanna move out of the way 'cuz it's gonna hurt! I get—I mean, it must not hurt that much, like, 'cuz Bob's crazy, man! Bob loves taking—Well, I wouldn't say loves taking it off the head, but he doesn't hate it, like he—" "Feels good?" "You know, every once in a while—they hit him in the head and you go up and say sorry he's like, 'No, no! It's all good! I love it, I love it!!' and like, kind-of shoos you away so."

The Buzz Pod | 8.7.24 (x)

so speaking of banking pucks off bobbys head and how much he loves it flashback to that day in october of 23 where bobby was doing that for practise and managed to rope in matthew to the shenanigans to the utter confusion of everyone involved (x)(x)(x)(x)

[arliedraws]

i just wish we had more uncle moony and harry content :(

I’ll bet Harry did too