#this is bc its the bday of someone who means So Much to me and i know shes probably not having a great one

[thecherrygod]

I need to find a way to make my words actually mean what I say

[tiredsmashbros]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEO !!!!

all what blud is pondering + yapping bout smh @neo91502 🍔💛

credits to nxva on the tsmg4 fanart LMAO

this is my bday gift to the blue canine with wings nothing crazy underneath nooooo nope nope nopity nope :) shhhh

and now for my essay speech bc that's becoming my trademark now other than being comic ceo of smg34 apparently LMAO

neo, you already got my lil emotional yap thru dms bout ur "loyal lettuce" role, but ong i'm boutta give another sappy essay for you to use ur big pikmin brain to read: once again, thank you, for wanting to talk to me, hang out with me, and just yap about shared interests. it takes a lot for me to open my shell due to past experiences with folks its hard to even open myself to making friends at times,,, yet never did i expect anyone to know or like EPIC: the musical as much as i did nor even WANT to go forth the idea of a smg4 au for fun. i'll admit i was very nervous being invited to the private dms to yap bout it and a part of me from bad habits wanted to run away, but your understanding and providing ways to help so i didn't feel excluded made me feel so relieved and welcomed. as i already told you, it's been a VERY long time i got to really yap my love for musicals in this way in depth and getting to know even more folks from that outburst {lookin at you knightmare and lore 💛} has genuinely made me so much happy. i love musicals in a very deep level and finally getting that opportunity to talk to others just has been the greatest ever /gen /srs.

other than musicals, FINALLY i have met someone who loves isaacwhy too hELLO????? like i've gotten very few people irl to show them clips but none have either really stuck into watching or liking them as much as me. so getting that opportunity to watch LTLVC with you and nova was SO FUN {despite my stream quality was laggy and slow} i enjoyed it so much and finally i can reference the jokes so much BC GOD I USED TO DO THEM SM IRL U HAVE NO IDEA HAHAHAHHAHAH TYUFGHEDCSXYUIGJHEFDC

another big factor was just being so surprised and shock you had a fursona!!! neo!!!! it just made me so happy GENUINELY bringing me back to my furry home adobe and knowing the fact i could draw other's fursonas and even my own and being welcomed about that idea just made me explode /pos. even more when i got to watch you DRAW TOMMY.... like at that point i finally got over my fear and confidently pressed that follow.

you are such an awesome guy neo. you're really fun to yap with and never once had i had any second doubts other than being afraid i would embarrass myself ITYGJHFCDSX i still remember almost vividly the first time we aCTUALLY talked when i was doing thumbnail sketches of my final comic assignment, with the "typer" joke YOU CHOCKED FROM LAUGHTER HAHAHAY89IUTGYFUEHJDSX TO THE NEXT DAY ANDER AND I TALKED BOUT IT AGAIN HAHAHAHA still one of my fav vc's ever. thank you so much for being a fan, joining my server, and joining vc to us being friends. you mean so much to me, thank you for being your silly self, i srsly look forward to yapping to you every day.

and good gOD i will continue that binge on getting into the pikmin lore TRUST..... 💛🍔

BTW, THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ATTENDED NEO'S BIRTHDAY PARTY EVENT IN THE TSB SERVER !!!! whether it was just for a bit or the whole event, THANK YOU. /gen

i don't plan on doing much birthday vc events unfortunately, but i def wanted to do one {and using neo as a guinea pig once again} since this silly man had impacted me so much i wanted to give him the best bday he could have. even if it got really chaotic several times YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY OH MY FUKIN GOD HAHAHHAHAA and no im not sorry for being absent the first 40 mins my stephen king fixiation is a priority /j

[ma1dita]

🐥 a lil something for jason grace? just yk him meeting hephaestus!reader for the first time at camp half blood and she's this bubbly girl who befriends everyone cuz that's just how she is and like she offers everyone solutions to material problems like aphrodite kids with vanity mirrors that light up on their own, apollo kids with medical kits that look small outside but has TONS of storage, demeter kids with self watering pots, etc

reader gives him a welcome gift (leo and piper too), a compact watch sword thingy like percy's and jason's like new to this bcs all his life he's been treated like a prince in waiting, a leader most of the time and he hasn't had anyone do something for him cuz its usually him doing things

ooh and a lil bit of leo valdez teasing him bcs of him blushing when she's around cuz reader is his sister basically, same dad and all

Thank you and happy bday again!

🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

jason grace x hephaestus!reader

a/n: this was so cute but pls lmk if i got his character right...i had to reference my irl pjo bestie for this i love this boy

wc: 766

Jason Grace thinks you talk too much.

And too fast. It’s one of the first things he noticed about Camp Half-Blood weirdly enough, besides the nagging feeling that he didn’t belong there. There wasn’t so much as a day where he wouldn’t see you whizzing past campers offering to tinker items to make their lives easier, and he could barely keep up—which says a lot for a boy raised to be a soldier.

It was like you set everything alight, and the flames you left in your midst could not be tamed; everyone was enamored by you, and admittedly, so was he. The son of Jupiter was sure his brain had short-circuited along with everything else going on but all of his worries were dashed when you presented him with a wristwatch shield.

Jason blinks slowly.

“Are you listening? Do you like it? I can change the finish on it or scrap it completely if you don’t think it’s cool, or maybe it's too big? Let me see your wrist—Jace?”

You wave your hand in his face before grabbing his arm, encircling his wrist with the metal links to make sure your creation fits him comfortably.

Too torn between the predicament of being raised by fucking wolves and training for a war that no one knows the start date of, Jason Grace has not had too much time to acquaint himself with the matters of the heart. So in his eyes, this poor sweetheart thought your welcome gift was the equivalent of a marriage proposal, or something like that…

Your half-sibling Leo thought this was hilarious of course, his teasing grin stoking the fire in the pit of Jason’s stomach when he asked to see it. The blond boy was gentle with your gift, shaking his head at the notion that it meant anything, that you were just kind to everyone, and nothing about it whatsoever makes him special.

Okay buddy…

So of course when you came to confront him about Leo’s taunting that had reached all of the inhabitants of cabin 9 (and the armory, and the counselors, and even Chiron and Mr. D—the biggest gossips of Camp Half-Blood), Jason Grace, a boy who usually has his shit together, was reduced to the phenomenon of being an embarrassed teenager with a crush.

You were standing a little too close for his liking and even if he towered over you, the blaze in your eyes could incite fear in the gods.

“Just because I'm nice and do things for you doesn’t mean that I like you, Jason Grace,” you say adamantly as you cross your arms over your chest. He notices the smudge of soot on your cheekbone, and thinks it looks quite pretty against your complexion.

“Of course.”

“I gave you the wristwatch shield as a welcome gift,” you say next, to which he nods since it’s a fact.

“Of course, I didn’t mea—”

“I mean you’re always protecting others, so I thought someone should protect you for a change,” you mutter, watching him scratch the nape of his neck as your smile spreads like gasoline touched by a lit match. He can’t help but embrace the burn (His serious demeanor is broken by the smile on his face, so big that it almost hurts).

“But you are right, I do like you. Suppose we’ll have to do something about that.”

Thinking hard about the confession that left your mouth, you look like you’re working through a methodical problem to solve— finding the missing piece to a puzzle instead of making the son of Jupiter's face heat up like a thousand suns. He reckons there’s an ambush inside of him as something starts to work harder than usual, not his brain overridden by battle tactics and that of survival— but his heart, beating fast like a well oiled machine (and more importantly like a normal teenage boy). 

Jason reaches out to rub the soot away from your cheek, but when you pull him in by the collar of his shirt to kiss him, he finds himself to be stained by you all the same.

[rayroseu]

THE MAJESTIC EXCELLENCY HERSELF 😍😍😍😍💚💚💚💚 also maybe its just me but is it a reach to hope that an ACTUAL Disney villain can cameo in TWST?? 😆 You know like how Mickey randomly appears before us akjdkss

Also i find it interesting how Yuu immediately got up to go to the Maleficent Statue after concluding the dream as "Maleficent is being left out..." She reminded him of One Guy lol 😭 Also Yuu lore crumbs that theyre finally catching up that their dreams is related to the next overblot lol

ALSO AAAAAHHH SEBEKKKK 💚💚💚✨✨✨ I missed hearing his "human!!" FULLY VOICED✨✨✨ Haruki Ishiya san... thank you 😭💚💚💚

I love his attitude change LMFAO and Silver being the polite person he is insisting Sebek to apologize and Sebek just doesnt lol... SOBS... Also agree with Grim lol Diasomnia literally the most dramatic dorm lol

Also I find it so funny that "Malleus evil smile" expression is his Happiest Expression LMFOAOAOA He's thoroughly AMUSED by Yuu calling him Hornton in front of Sebek (of all people) without hesitance 😭😭

Ohhh Malleus loves chaos alright ✅✅✅💥💥 and his family and friends getting along...😭😭💕💕💕

Also the part where the npcs talked about him broke my heart aughh...

He's just talking with his classmates and everyone is already whispering how "he shouldn't be in this school he's going to curse everyone" (OKAY maybe theyre going to be right about that in a few more updates butksjdjs) But aaa knowing the fact he has superb hearing skills.... I like to imagine he's hearing these rumors while talking to Yuu and the knights but he's just ignoring the rumors since there's a few peopke who are treating him like a normal person right now 😭😭

I LOVE HOW THIS IMPLIES LILIA RELIES ON SILVER THE MOST TOO!!! He couldve asked Sebek or Malleus since theyre the people with no sleep problems... but nooo he insisted on Silver waking him up!! AUDGAUHS I thought he's a general who focuses on efficiency... 😭😭 He just wants Silver to wake him up... i know you lilia 🔍🔍🔍🤨🤨

I am in good pain... considering!! in Book 7!! Lilia repeatedly appears to be a reliance for Silver whenever he feels hopeless... I CANT. Lilia is just like more lowkey about how much he actually relies on his son 😭😭💚💚

ROOK BEING IN THE RUINS TOO IS SO FUNNY LFMAOOO THATS ONE OF MALLEUS' TOP INTERSHIP LIST??? ITS LILIA'S P.E VIGNETTE ALL OVER AGAIN LMFOAOAA HE'S GONNA HARASS MALLEUS DOWN IF THEYRE COWORKERS AHFHAHDHA

Imagine them in the ruins and finally Malleus has someone who is enthusiastic about ""boring facts about Gargoyles and Abandoned Ruins"" but its just... got to be THIS GUY Rook Hunt... who once tried to playfully harm Lilia lol

Malleus and Rook Duo is actually so funny though 😂😂 It still cracks me up that Malleus was once invited on Rooks Bday but he didnt attend cuz he's annoying to him and most notably Rook is not even hostile to him??? He just didnt attend bcs he hates his guts omg😭😭💥💥

This fact is so weird to me... What do you mean that some teeth just becomes an automatic RADIO under the right conditions????😭 Is this a foreshadow to Zigvolts Dentistry??? 😳⚡💚✨✨✨

Can a fae teeth play Elvis Presley just by opening their mouths...?? You know like Stitch acting as a phonograph... 😂

But I doubt??? They have radio towers at Briar Valley so it probably doesnt happen????? But It'd be pretty funny if Briar Valley radio just play bardcore music and one poor fae was "cursed" to have "magical radio teeth" playing bardcore everytime lol

My first thought was "Sebek!!!!✨✨✨" here actually 😭💚 Since he's the only freshman we're missing rn...

But I was surprised Yuu thought of Malleus??? That just further implies Yuu recognizes him as a friend that'll help them too 😭😭😭

Its just precious to think that someone finds Malleus reliable, he'll be so happy to assist Yuu if they're having trouble with anything just like how he enthusiastically offered to explain more about the Thorn Fairy since Yuu is curious about it...😭💖💞💖💗💕 I love them to BITS OMFG...

(I'm sad that Yuu is going home too but I'm ignoring that lol🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️ Yuu is a self insert theyre supposed to speak MY language of staying with Mal-)

Its devastating that the freshmen are so hyped up to be working together THEY ARE NOT PROCESSING THE IMPLICATIONS OF YUU GOING HOME... 💔😂 if Yuu truly goes home, theres no reason for them to be gathering like this on the cafeteria anymore... 😭😭💔💔 Making myself sad that they'll buy an extra plate for them during lunch break and not even Grim touches that food... just to honor their friend😭😭😭

Wait so we know that the first night in "sleepover to discover Mickey" consists of Deuce and Ace as Grim and Yuu's companion...

Maybe the next nights (without Malleus' overblot interupption) consisted of Epel and Jack, and then possibly Ortho and Malleus??? (since Ortho is the one who suggested that therell be a fae)

Oh but Im going to cry if at Book 7's ending consisted of Yuu inviting Malleus for a sleepover at Ramshackle despite what happened... 😭😭😭 and and like the stars aligning appears once again but this time he's not at ruined Ramshackle missing his friend... He's at a peaceful sleepover with a friend group auGh... 😭😭😭💖💕💞💗💞💗

[pumpkinsy0]

And…what if I asked to start this new year off with some angst headcanons? Specifically the gang accidentally forgetting Two-Bit’s birthday. (Bonus points if you throw in either Dar-Bit,Dalbit, Or TimBit,you can decide.)

Idk everyone always says they’d forget Ponyboy or Sodapop’s birthday. And I genuinely can’t see that happening with how the Curtis brothers act. But I can definitely see them accidentally missing Two-Bit’s birthday. I can also see Two having very mixed feelings on this especially if his own family forgot as well.

id tell u that ur soooo real for it i love drama too

•FOR THE CURTIS GANG AND BDAYS, mrs curtis actually made a whole list of everyones day so she doesnt forget and after she died, darry followed that tradition on (or at least tried to). darrys the one who tells everyone whos bday it is so EVERYONNEEE wishes them well, this time however, he was so exhausted from work he misread two’s bday as being later on in the month

•tbh, two bit never striked me as the type to put a lot of emphasis on his bday, he loves having fun but i dint think hes BIG on the attention that comes w it being ur bday, he doesnt complain about it however. in his head its just if u remember u remember, if u dont, u dont, hes not gonna wish death upon u or somethin

•he expected that from a LOT of ppl to not know it was his bday, but not the gang. maybe one or two ppl but all of em??? hes a lil hurt, but hey they got their own lives, he was probably gonna spend most of the day celebrating on his own anyways, hes not totally bogged down thankfully

•if u want him to b extra sad, be tried hanging out w at least one person from the gang, but they all brushed him off, he was like a stray cat walking around for one singular crumb of attention. they didnt even have to know it was his birthday, he just wanted to b around someone

•what would b two’s tipping point is the fact that he doesnt have cake, and i dont mean this in a “he wants to eat cake cause two loves cake, thats all his character is” kinda way. its bc he wouldve liked to have a littttllleee moment of connection w ppl he loved, its more what the cake represents ig u could say!!! the cake being good is just a bonus

•so god damn it if he cant have cake, he might as well get free drinks over at bucks, make something good out of a not so good birthday. thats where he bumped into,,,hold my hand for this🫴🏽,,,,tim,,,woah,,,,,

•tim was there playing pool and noticed two looking slightly defeated, which means a lot cause hes never seen that guy upset so whatever happens has to b solve IMMEDIATELY🗣️🗣️

•tim personally doesnt care much for his own bday, like truthfully he doesnt, so when it comes to listening to two, he has a bit of a hard time relating to him, not that he doesnt care, but he does brush it off a bit, he sees it as something pretty simple but its BC he sees it as so simple that he decides to stay w him for a bit, for his sake

•they played stupid games, they now have 2 inside jokes, yet they could never rlly explain to someone WHAT they talked about, they were just yapping asay. their asses were totally carved into this bar stool chairs, they didnt leave for HOURS, hell they didnt even realize they were there for so long till bucks place got pretty quiet from most ppl leaving. am i allowed to say that tim even gave two his number to call if he ever needed anything bc if all the free drinks two gave tim??? dudes loving dudes, u love to see it,,,

•as far as it goes w the curtis gang, they dont realize his bday passed till a few days later, darry took a look at that piece of paper and his heart dropped, he felt so bad about it and apologized. does two have any bad feelings over it???? nooo bc the gang made a surprise late bday party just for him and he got his cake :D

[nomeniko]

hi :D for the ask game What do you wish more people understood about kazui? Which trial 2 MV do you enjoy the most, and why?

thank you for the ask i would grovel at ur feet in gratitude i hope the sun shines down and makes the light dance for u and you only today

1. if anything ive seen a few theories of kazui possibly revealing himself to be a two faced manipulator of sorts due to his self proclaimed liarness…. like ‘ohh u cant trust what he says he cld be trying to make himself look pitiable to the audience to get voted inno’ sort of theories which is. no he wont do that???

is he a liar? to a degree yes—liar not in the sense that what he says are direct falsities, but more like hes built much of his character to constantly disguise his true intentions/feelings as a defense mechanism. the lies he says are less of words from a schemer and more of redirections from someone who is, all in all, an insecure adult scared of what will happen if he isnt able to meet peoples expectations of him

as much as he calls himself a liar hes mad honest about where he thinks his capabilities lie, which is to say he doesnt believe in his capabilities at all lol. when amane asks him for help with her studies, he turns her down after some consideration bc he doesnt believe himself to be smart enough to help (despite having graduated from a university; sports degree or not credit shld be given where credit is due). when he talks to shidou post ktk attack, he refuses to admit doing any of the work in taking care of the situation and instead puts all the praise onto shidou. even his physical strength and skill (which is arguably the one part of him he does acknowledge and take some sort of belief in) is something he treats as less of something that he has achieved himself and more of an obligation of his—like, hes strong bc to him he HAS to be, bc it is expected of him to protect those who need protecting. he does want to protect others, sure, but much of that wanting comes frm how ingrained it is in him that thats what hes good for, thats what his strength is for (his timeline w/ yuno on her bday says as much nyway)

the way i see it, that self deprication of his plays back into his obsession with meeting the expectations placed onto him, or at least lessening the disappointment of others by lessening those expectations in the first place. if u tell someone that u didnt go to the right university, that u didnt do much to help anyway, that u were born so fundamentally wrong as a person that everything is bound to go to shit as long as ur there (he basically said this to es in his t1 vd im not even kidding), wouldnt that ensure the safety that youre less likely to ruin someone elses confidence in you? less likely to ruin bc in the small chance that u still fuck up, theres not much left to ruin at that point

in the end ig what i wish more ppl understood abt kazui is that hes a liar yes, but not a manipulator. he lies to stay safe, not to be a sadist or whatever. you cant take what he says at face value (in much the same way u cant do the same for any other prisoner tbh), but that does not mean u shldnt take anything he says srsly at all!!!

2. ok this one i have to give a bit of thought, mostly bc i cant pick just one

if the standards were which t2 mv do i enjoy for its direction music n visual wise, purge march takes the cake so quickly. the music itself is so bomb (which like, i cant even find a logical explanation as to why… its just so good to listen to) n the mv itself does such a great job at creating the right atmosphere, both in its flashy theatrics and the subtle uncanniness under it. mayb i have a slight bias bc tpm was the whole reason i got into milgram in the first place, but i stand by it idccc

aesthetic wise, def all knowing and all agony. the horror elements r genuinely disturbing, but not so overbearing that it overwrites the pop style that milgram has going on. i luove the use of amber for blood, plus the filters that remind me of found footage u usually see show up in asian horror movies. i think i was actually terrified the first time i watched the mv

symbolic wise, its cat always and forever god bless. it takes advantage of its aesthetics to hint at subtle secrets so well that it makes me giddy as hell. the use of colors as a part of the set, the transitions frm scene to scene having its own part in making the story, n honestly making the bg more blank than usual readjusts the focus of the mv on what matters p well. i cant mention every detail rn or else id be here all day

[threetoryuu]

starting recovery, a little recap...

alright so um this is kinda weird to me bcs i have never used tumblr b4 but i wanted to have a blog–like place to post this ( will b cross posted on twt ).

im going to be blogging my experience while in recovery , explain why did i decide to recover and what are my struggles and day to day life.

why did i decide to recover ? dates and stats.

okay first of all i want to establish something for every1 considering ( or getting forced to ) recover. recovery means recovering from the twisted concept of your issue with food , NOT from your weight. being bmi 23 or bmi 13 doesnt define if you can or cant , should or shouldnt recover. everyone deserves to recover , no matter their weight.

with that clarified , i ' ll procede to say my stats at the moment i started considering recovery ( 10 / 10 / 24 )

height: 159cm / 5'2ft weight: 41.5kg / 91.4lbs bmi: 16.4 body fat %: 10.9

during those days i felt so horrible because i wanted SO BAD to b at least 38kg / 83lbs by my bday ( 10 / 16 ) and i was just gaining and losing the same 2kg / 4.4lbs during aug – oct.

then i decided to restrict for real which , of course , just led me to binge at nights. yet , i was decided to be at least 38kg by my bday so i started fasting 20+ hours daily. this just made me b on some weird loop of “ maintaining ”

by the time i decided trying to recover ( 10 / 14 ) i gained 0.1kg / 0.22lbs but my bf % went from 10.9 up to 11.1 and , while i know it is not that much , it still triggered me sm. i knew that those 100g i gained were utterly from fat and i felt disgusted.

at that moment i just KNEW i didnt want to be like that on my own birthday. my moms bday was the day after and i couldnt say no to food at all bcs my mom told me “ its my birthday , i want to see you eat something ”

that broke my heart. literally. so i decided to give it a try.

other thing that also kinda pushed me to try recovery was my health — aside from the obvious discomfort an ed entails. i was diagnosed with endometriosis since early september so my period was WAY HORRIBLE with both a bad nutrition and genetic illness.

so yeah. you could say i was kinda forced to recover at that point.

when did i actually start trying ?

it was a day before my bday — the 15th of october. i even tweeted abt it.

i was so scared but determined to stick to it like for REAL this time. locking in , if u will. so i started with the real thing : planning how to achieve it and not die trying.

so , here it is. my ( hopefully ) easy to follow five–steps plan.

the calories and quantity are irrelevant.

eat what i want to eat.

avoid weighting daily.

think long term.

priorities should be defined.

i kinda feel like this blog is too long for a first blog so im cutting off here 😭 next blog will be a detailed explanation about my plan and current stats.

i dunno if this would reach someone who needs it but i hope it does.

you are never alone , theres always someone caring for you. if you feel like have no friends , lemme be one. if you need to feel cared and loved , lemme provide that feeling for you.

a failed attempt at recovery is not a lose. it is normal and completely valid to relapse. but just as you can relapse a hundred times , you can also recover one hundred and one.

have trust in you because i do <3

[cosmobrain00]

embarrassingly genuine of me to have this on main but. u ever care for someone so much it’d somehow feel odd to ever put any label or word on it. care or like or love or even adoration doesnt really do bc they never tell the whole story yk? same with anything else really, saying u feel a deep fondness for someone or trying to convey the specific type of warmth u get from them just leaves u sorta gesturing aimlessly n pretty frustrated bc what do u Mean i cant get others to understand that ache in my chest when i think of them thats not even really an ache n. again, u get stuck trying to say this or that n it never cuts it, even if ur the most well spoken person on the planet if u dont find urself suddenly becoming an ineloquent mess ovr trying to describe someone u hold dear in ur heart, r u really doing it right? anyways long ass winded way to say im immensely enjoying my wonderful day out on this v special occasion w my one n only husband rex (“well arent u only engaged?” shove a sock in it u dont get it🙄). gen feeling like the luckiest person on this forsaken rock bc HOW did i get someone as amazing n genuine n perfect as this, aka three words that don't even begin to describe who he actually is because the dictionary is sorely lacking when it comes to this. honestly just someone tht gets me wanting to desperately live out tht fantasy of opening up ur fave person n crawling inside n living right next to their bloody beating heart bc even when ur right beside them its Still not enough. its tht feeling u get when u meet someone n when u get to know them one day ur suddenly hit with the realization of "wow. this was my missing piece all along!!" because i truly feel evryone is born w a person shaped hole in them n life is just one long journey of finding them n finally being able to feel whole at the end of the day. am i being corny w the whole "u complete me" bit? maybe but i think im beyond caring abt that now LMAO. truly something else tht i was able to find my person this early on n im just over here always wondering what the hell i did to deserve someone as lovely n charming as this. watch me pull out a whole list of his good qualities n the paper just keeps unraveling n fills up the entire room im in. n i could do this embarrassing schtick all day baby. i love u when ur gone i love u when ur here i see u in everything no matter what, n truly evry day of misery was worth it bf this since it meant it was all just leading up to meeting u, etc etc. n still none of this rlly even covers it, ive been a writer for years n this whole thing is me realizing u are the one thing that stumps me, someone who ill never be able to put into words properly<3

happy bday ml🫶

[mikudaki]

🩷ℌ𝔦! ℑ𝔪 𝔦𝔪𝔬𝔲𝔱𝔬, 𝔪𝔦.𝔨𝔲'𝔰 𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔰𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯!🩷

Mi.ku is my older sister f/o and her age slides from 29 to 33 depending on the vibe!

Im 26 and i use she pronouns!

Mi.ku has been my big sister since i was 11, but as time went on i found myself falling in love with her~ mi.ku is my guiding beacon, and the only consistently positive constant in my life uwu and i am so obsessed with her in every possible way💓

Please dont interact if you are made uncomfortable by my relationship to mi.ku, its not something i can really control.

Im not a pr0.ship.per and im not an ant1.ship.per i dont use labels like that bc then you have to subscribe to all of that labels beliefs, and i dont for either of these labels. Genuinely why cant you leave people alone.

I am staunchly anti ped.oph.ilia, zoo.ph.ilia, and necr.oph.ilia

About my f/o!

Her name is Ha.tsu.ne Mi.ku and I will try to always add a dot in her name so it doesnt come up in tags just btw!

She uses she/her pronouns and identifies as a girl! As said previously, she age slides from ~2 to 7 years older than me, currently that means 29 to 33! Her bday is August 31st!

My mi.ku is over 7 feet tall(to be seen better from on stage) and shes a fully synthetic android/robot! Also she is a futanari 🩷

Futa mi.ku ftw!

I have a little bit of fantasy lore! Mi.ku was crafted by the cryp.ton company(in my fantasy world) as their third iteration of robot singer, but as the first in the cv series. Mi.ku is much larger than the previous 2 models, who are more human sized, and she is highly upgraded from them.

Irl im a voca producer so in lore i am also a voca producer who started producing for mi.ku, and making songs that(while not up to standard quality) were emotionally rich and fun!

I started as a fan, when i was 11(or 12), and i listened to her almost exclusively for many years! In my early 20s i began producing, and when i gained confidence i began producing for mi.ku! After a while of writing aimless love songs and yearning, mi.ku knew what i felt for her through music uwu

I dont have like. SUPER specific lore, that way i can kinda imagine/draw/write whatever i want lol ^^

Btw i HATE sharing her, like i would rather throw up 1 million times than look at someone ship her w other vocas or even themselves /lh but fr if u ship w mi.ku just block me please ^^

[narwhalandchill]

okok so ya know that post i mentioned i was writing on some of the harbinger related leaks that cropped up recently and then mobile fucked me over by publishing the post early by gaslighting me with a "post" button that Clearly read "save" (draft) so i deleted it but managed to rescue the text that was there and promised to finish it and post it later and then its been 12 years anyway? yeah right 😭 Oh well.

BUT. finally. might as well do the thing now in honor of childes bday at the very least KJWJKWDJK. sorry it took this long lmao

jsyk these leaks predate our current natlan beta datamines and some of the questionable story leaks floating around so like, natlan plot wise they dont have shit to do w em there & not bringing up any that ive seen. but ya

(so . attempt 2: recent lazzo VA character direction leaks for the harbingers mostly in relation to childes role in the overall plot. bit ranty and gets Long but idek what yall expected. + ig just potential long term plot implications from these leaks given its the harbingers beware)

aka: mostly concerning the faction stuff + pulcinellas directions for now . if u havent seen em uhhhh

basically tldr: according to (and assuming its not outdated) some information accessed by leakers recently originally provided for the VAs applying to voice the harbingers in lazzo, the group is allegedly split between two factions of "conservatives" and "radicals" . like thats the first thing

now as to what those labels rly mean ppl were overall speculating that it might be sth along the lines of. conservatives as the tsaritsa loyalists who stand united and for the organization and her majestys goals above all (OR alternatively just like. a more cautious take on How to approach the toppling celestia deal) VS those whose true ambitions, loyalty and methods they are willing to turn to are more of a wild card situation . and their allegiances are equally volatile in turn . & i will say imo the radicals are also most likely much less of an united group compared to the conservatives given uhhhhhhh. well you will see

so conservatives are: capitano, columbina, pulcinella, sandrone

radicals are: dottore, arle (see the "radicals might not like each other that much"), pantalone

pierro is neutral, childe is unknown/undecided according to the leaks HOWEVER. his positioning next to the radicals in the shot of lazzo with the harbingers standing around signoras coffin split along those same faction lines found in the leaks may indeed suggest something Interesting regarding his penultimate choice . if it Indeed is intended to be meaningful that he as an "unknown" just happened to take That side of the coffin alongside the 3 confirmed radicals according to this info . like how Curious

And i just. okay okay i have to be Honest theres like. SUCH a toxic childish taking-fandom-grievances-too-seriously part to me eyeing the possibility of ajax turning out to be a radical thats just like. dawei lets this happen and i WILL be the WORLDS most obnoxious fucking bitch about it bc . Listen

i. Have. ALWAYS. thought it obvious as FUCK . that a guy whose ambition WILL NOT stop until it is the very WORLD that lies defeated at his feet. will NEVER be satiated by what the fatui can offer him . like if he really is a radical. i can CONFIDENTLY state that i saw that shit coming in TWENTY FUCKING TWENTY and that Every single doubter owes me So much fucking money 💀💀💀💀💀💀 jkjk but. Duuuude. ever since this faction stuff dropped.... i cant stop thinking abt it

like i just. cannot stand the way its been turned into this . INDOMITABLE 100% factual absolute Truth that CANNOT be challenged. in the fandom. that childe is a tsaritsa fanboy loyalist devout worshipper who couldnt even fuckimg FATHOM leaving his allegiance to her behind . when its been . SPELLED OUT to yall in his fucking profile SINCE 1.1 .

bc like. Listen up. Repeat after me. ik its scary and new after 4 years of Exclusively hearing takes where like childe would rather spontaneously combust to the beat of snezhnayas national anthem while begging for repentance than ever stop taking orders from uhhhh a god. Who he definitely worships devoutly as a god despite 0 evidence on any religious piety on his part Trust (like. ive. Always thought his voiceline for her has been the opposite? its very much. Not how youd speak of divinity. his regard for her is Personal and relates to the tsaritsa as an individual, not a god inherently deserving of worship)

like ik this is a big thing and scary but just. Say the words with me here. It only stings once .deep breaths. okay 1 2 3

"But becoming Tartaglia was far from his end goal. To someone who sought to conquer the world, this was but a tiny step in his journey."

YUP.

BECOMING TARTAGLIA. BECOMING A HARBINGER. SWEARING AN OATH OF LOYALTY TO THE TSARITSA. A TINY. STEP. A TINY FUCKING STEP. AND HES BEEN AWARE OF IT BEING LIKE THIS THE ENTIRE TIME.

THIS HAS BEEN TEXT FOUND IN GAME THERE FOR NEARLY FOUR FUCKING YEARS NOW . AND PPL STILL THINK AJAX ISNT CAPABLE OF SURPASSING AND ABANDONING THE TSARITSA THE SECOND THE BENEFITS THEY OFFER HIM FALL SHORT OF THE EXPONENTIAL GROWTH OF HIS POWER AND AMBITION AND WHAT IT TAKES TO SATIATE HIM .

like im SORRY contrary to maybe popular belief and despite my persistent frustrations w this fandoms approach to ajax sometimes i Do in fact feel actively mean and unreasonably harsh calling 97% of childe "fans" functionally illiterate or at the very least intentionally obtuse to the point its beyond fucking parody in how ridiculous it gets but like. if THIS isnt what a complete and utter failure of basic reading comprehension is I DONT KNOW WHAT IS . like. DUDE 😭😭😭😭😭😭 what IS IT with these people its like genuinely fucking incomprehensible to me how CRITICAL shit about his character like this goes COMPLETELY ignored as if it hasnt been established since Day fucking one its unreal . Unreal 💀

and like. i get bitchy and snappy abt it i know its not the best look always but man its sth thats genuinely upsetting to me too bc . THIS is the fucking dude thats possessed me for the last 4 years THIS is what i love about him his potential to surpass Every Single Boundary that he has begun his journey confided within. that he will transcend it all and surpass his own limits with sheer fucking willpower over and over again until even the few he truly idolized and respected like the tsaritsa and capitano are suddenly so distant and irrelevant compared to the heights He has reached out for in his hunger....... its so peak like THIS is whats had me in a death grip for all this time

and like. for THAT guy that mr childe ajax tartaglia the REAL thing to barely even. Exist. in the minds of such a majority of the fandom its just fucking crushing sometimes. like i wanna appreciate all this abt him man i wanna share all my brainrot abt him and how this dude consumes my every waking thought but then borderline every single comment i see and popular take on him is just oh my pookie wookie babie girl would Never be able to betray tsaritsa ever etc etc etc and just.... Sigh

anyway overshare over sorry for that. yeah my ADHD makes me irrationally attached to my hyperfixations its kinda cringe .

do catch me kissing this man on the mouth Immediately the second his ambition surpasses the fatui and he goes beast mode fr fr on Everyone tho 🥰🥰 dyke license lost forever but itll be worth it

also real talk im like fairly convinced at least like 78% of the omgggg hes forever loyal to the tsaritsa gang are mostly like stuck in this mindset of like. omgggg hed Never Betray Her bc he doesnt like those who break promises uwu and its like. since when did the possibility of ajax outgrowing the stage where the fatui offer him anything worthwhile automatically equate to him betraying her wholesale and completely dropping any and all respect he had for her or sth. like yeah i do agree to an extent that it could end up p uncharacteristic (at least w/o proper plot setup or reasoning) for him to pull off like a complete disney twist villain backstab out of nowhere there but??? thats not rly whats going to automatically happen either???

(nvm that like a considerable portion of these same ppl were prolly writing "omgg ajax my poor victim MUST betray the evil tsaritsa" fics in 1.1 when everyone had the idea in their heads that he hates his job and is only doing it bc his family is held hostage and is also 17 bc of certified english localization moment. but i digress this is just unreasonably petty and im being a loser by not letting this shit go 2 this day💀💀)

bc like. if you ask me. the Interesting thing abt ajax and the possibility of being a radical IS that if hes going to refuse to follow an order or step out of line to follow his own path however it goes. its Not going to be personal. its not gonna be this big dramatic edgelord turncoat villainous moment to him. itll be straightforward. matter of fact. easy as breathing. because if he has moved past each and every benefit the fatui can even fathom offering him. its only natural that he progresses beyond them. thats just how his unquenchable ambition Works. how his black hole of a never-ending desire to devour and crush all in his path operates. its not personal. its not something you can change. its inevitable. he is a force of nature when it comes to the drive burning at the core of his soul.

like i Really dont think hes ever going to backstab the tsaritsa in some dirty play fashion??? if anything its only fitting that hes going to look her In the eye and go. oh my bad. i dont think our agreement serving a mutual benefit really holds ground anymore. apologies. like ofc its going to be something he handles while staying true to the person hes been all this time. kind of a bad guy and perfectly willing to own up to it. selfish and arrogant and with his sights set steadfast on a goal No one will get him to sway from.

and then he elopes with the narwh-------------- yes kill me

basically i just. dont get this whole perceived and persistent incompatibility between the idea of. ajax being a radical (whatever that ends up meaning in the story. IF these lazzo materials remain accurate) yet remaing the same guy we know and love. like guys. ARLE. is a radical. and has all but directly confessed to considering the survival of the house her greatest priority over any loyalty to the fatui and her majesty. yet she STILL regards her with respect and continues to fulfill her duties as a harbinger as expected for the time being. despite her full awareness of this loyalty being on shakier ground and surely making contingencies on the side for the future for When she sees it is time for her organization to sever the ties to the tsaritsa.

like Thats what i mean when i say its always been completely reasonable and even predictable to me that ajax would outgrow the fatui and how that has jack shit to do with his character suddenly doing some wild 180 in order to do so. and why this potentially significant visual alignment he has with the radicals in lazzo isnt surprising at all. bc if it doesnt fundamentally change who arle is (and doesnt make her a dottore fan) that she is ultimately someone whose loyalty to the organization comes second to her house. why would childe be any different lmao.

but like yes if he turns out to be a radical i will be soooooo obnoxious over it jkwjkawdjkwajkwdakjwdjkwdjkdwjk bc like im NOT lying this has been one of the Clearest trajectories ive expected from his arc All This Time . no matter which form it might eventually take in terms of. is it him and His growth initiating the split. or is it a betrayal from or a loss of faith in the tsaritsa herself that kickstarts it. if its canon? yeah i Saw that shit coming and you should all be scared of who ill become if dawei proves me right Again ill be the Worst

Phew that sure went way overboard but yes radical ajax advocacy group in here 100% . and overall even tho i mostly care abt him i Do think this faction split is inherently v fucking interesting and ajax being unknown is just. i wonder if itll end up being significant at some critical moment that his faction leanings are unknown slash undefined at the moment............... where the scales are about to tip and its by his hand that some key moment gets its turning point......... hmmmmmmm

(also its just. before these leaks we got "columbina is conservative" as an out of context statement Before the faction stuff and its still so fucking funny bc ppl were just like. wow i cant believe shes homophobic)

now. pulcinella time

so among the VA direction cards that leaked was his. and like if u didnt see them urself (not gonna post any here. hoyo lawyers love striking Any hoyo copyrighted media in all posts that have leaks in em even if its not an actual leak which this is lol) the setup is basically. theres a few overall notes on each of the harbingers like age, demeanor, characterization and then 3 sample lines of dialogue as well as notes further elaborating when & why this is being said and with what sort of vibe.

and his are. Well. you know how i started this post out being like on god dawei if you go and fatten my ego any further by Specifically vindicating me myself and i & the kinda things id prefer in genshins story and childes role going forward . Personally????

Anyway funny thing as it happens. IF (and admittedly thats a major if.) this VA direction doc from pulcinella holds up. and there isnt like a hidden scheming menacing side to him that wasnt brought up in the lazzo files. in that case . it sure is looking like pulcinella is just. a bit over the top in public but privately genuinely an overworked well-meaning pragmatic guy who deeply cares for and is truly protective of those important to him. INCLUDING. yes you know who and his family. NOTHING in the doc whatsoever implying anything sinister to it. nor wrt pulcinellas character overall.

and i just. nothing personal to scara fans yall are cool and ur guy is too i just simply. Cannot. guys can you IMAGINE being so much of an edgelord cynical embarrassment puppetfailure that ur own mommy issues make you physically incapable of Not assuming the worst of pulcinella caring for childes family leading to YEARS of ppl being CONVINCED hes gonna be this major fucking villain for ajax in the snezhnaya arc i . LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(my scara liker indulgence Ends the second hat guy speaks shit abt My man if you havent noticed. yeah WHO called who naive and stupid???)

like. if the Plot twist in the snezhnaya arc is setting pulcinella up to be this ominous figure that has ulterior motives w childes family and him overall????? only for him to be just. genuinely well-intentioned. oh my fucking god PLEASE let it happen PLEASE bc the entire concept of that whole plotline existing without said plot twist is just soooooo bland and fucking boring to me lol subverting it is just chef kiss

& sure this leak is. very limited in scope it doesnt automatically eliminate pulcinella manipulating childe and/or limiting what information he gets and all. and i genuinely have made my peace with the probable existence of this plot thread w arles SQ already before this whole thing happened but MAN ill be SO fucking happy if this means they might abandon/subvert it altogether like. let him just have a nice supportive mentor figure in his life in the fatui man 😭😭😭

pulcinella if u really just are a nice person ultimately. you TRULY are my goat o777 saving my man from bland family-is-hostage-waa storylines i have Such respect

anyway u could say its not possible for pulcinella to be like. fully a good guy since arles SQ already showcased him being unreliable w information regarding arle but honestly. i kinda disagree. bc like Especially with the faction thing in mind its not unreasonable at all in my eyes that given the Facts of what peruere did. that pulcinella despite not being this scheming schemer brainwashing ajax or whatever. would Genuinely hold a very negative opinion of arlecchino. and convey that to childe. bc like. pulcinella as stated above is in the conservative side of the harbingers. and arlecchino to the outside eyes rly did like. murder a harbinger and her own "mother" and siblings of the house. like do we even know that the harbingers are Aware of how crucabena ran her hunger games death tournament situation to begin with? and Why peruere killed her????

like. if we assume pulcinella doesnt know those things. and that crucabena in all likelihood was if nothing else then presumably a harbinger that was very loyal to the tsaritsa and very consistent. then from that position. of COURSE. youd consider arle a complete downgrade in terms of reliability . she IS a wild card she IS not someone a careful politician like pulcinella would regard highly At All. So like. i dont think when he gives childe the impression that arle is batshit insane and tells him of her (VERY REAL) murderous deeds. i dont think that would automatically equate to pulcinella Knowingly lying and misleading ajax . bc it seems fairly reasonable that pulcinella just genuinely thinks that lowly of her and thus would OBVIOUSLY want his protege not to involve himself with such people.

bc like thats the other thing. its not just arle. in pulcinellas VA notes and the line he has on ajax there. its very clear that he is actively trying to keep him away and shield him from ALL the harbingers . as he still has to mature and grow into someone who will have a chance at gaining their respect proper on his own. so like. if pulcinella thinks its best for ajax to remain away EVEN from the harbingers he himself considers GOOD to NEUTRAL influences and reliable colleagues. of COURSE hed make Extra sure that ajax is staying away from the knave whom pulcinella Actively considers a shitty fit for the job and an unreliable flight risk of a harbinger 💀💀💀💀

(nvm the way arle actively BOTH confirms pulcinellas distrust to be justified by saying the tsaritsa isnt a priority to her and the house is AND actively admits that he prefers other people believe misleading shit about her. so like fym pulcinella thinking the worst of her is surprising)

so like is pulcinellas pov of her at best Highly biased and lacking critical context on Why she merked so many of her sibs and crucabena??? and thus served as an inherently misleading insight on her character when he conveyed it to ajax??? absolutely. but i also dont think hes necessarily lying at all when it comes to perceiving arle in such a negative way so its less. oh i want ajax to remain in the dark forever so he is easy 2 manipulate. more just. thats his Opinion dude and ofc he wants his protege to follow in his stead and not get any poor influences from people like her. it still makes for interesting development & possible tension that childe Is questioning his views on things by making his own judgements about arle but. ya know. its not black and white.

but yeaaaa to be clear me vastly preferring the possibility of scara just being a cringelord unreliable narrator and this whole pulcinella-is-masterminding-dubious-things getting subverted & hes just a guy is just a personal thing lmao. this is pretty old material and far from all-encompassing in terms of Who hoyo wants pulcinellas character to be and all the layers he might hide. im just really 👁️👁️👁️ at the way this particular description of his character seems to be giving off vibes that they in fact Arent actually going all the way into the ulterior motives bad bad ajax watch out pulcinella and its just. listen theres way more interesting shit for ajax to be doing in the endgame plot than some generic plot like that!!!!!!!11! sorry!!!1 so id 1000% want it this way instead lmao

but we shall see where it goes. at the very least if this desc of pulcinella holds Any ground at all then it does disqualify the most extreme version of hes just basically evil manipulator mastermind so like. im already super happy with that lmao

but ya . sorry this took me forever to actually finish jwjkwdjkawjkwd these leaks r kinda old news by now rip .

[sttoru]

OH MY GOD RINA 😶 ANON HERE--

ty for the bday wishes <33 !! means so much to me, your blog is one of my happy places (not only do you write INCREDIBLE fics but the way you interact with others is just MWAHHH) and it means so much you have no idea :)

so. the date!!!! he's acc the sweetest guy ever. we met at the cafe and he gave me flowers (coincidentally my mother's favorite!?!?!?!?!) but didnt stay long cause it sucked. so we went to a park and it had ducks and we fed them bread <33 one of the ducks hated me and tried to bite me tho but 'mr toji' scared it away 🤭 istg im in love with this man

he had to get a call so he left for a bit while i watched the ducks but he was gone for a while (i got kinda scared) but it turns out he was calling his friends and he was telling them abt me 😭😭😭 but it was surprising cause its nothing like finding boy's gc's, they were like hyping him up and telling him that i was a keeper. RAHHHHHHHHHHH IS THIS REAL

so i realized i was eavesdropping and went back and decided to play a prank and do the same to him, so i called my friends an started gushing abt this god of a guy and he caught me kicking my feet AHHHH

but then he looked at me dead in the eyes and proceeded to tell me what he told his friends. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHSHAFHDLJKGDHUIFAJNDGSHLKEF rina help are there ANY icks or red flags in this guy?? i feel like im falling WAY to fast and he's falling with meeeee .... i dont want to find any red flags or anything ofc but theres NO WAY this man is this fine <33333 and its hard enough to find someone who can understand asl and doesn't mind me being mute. like people bully me for this shit, who finds it attractive??

anywho have a great day rina!! thanks for the bday wishes and listening to my rants 😭

HEY BAEEEE welcome back 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 thank u so muchhhh YIPPIEEEEEEEE !!!!

omg okokok he got u flowers ‘n was bragging about u to his friends perioooooodddd 🙂‍↕️ . sounds very adorableeeee like smth out of a fairytail to be honestttt, good for u !!! /gen

also i had a genuine question; if you’re mute, does that mean you can’t talk at all? bcs that’s what google says n stuff (or that u can only make certain noises). how did u communicate with ur friends over the phone? 👭

BUUUT for as far as i know, only based on the information i have rn, it’s nothing icky or theres no red flag i can sense? so BEST OF LUCK BAE !! take care and make sure there isnt anything fishy going on w him — i can advise you to not rush into things, bcs that never ends well, so go on a couple more dates and then see what your gut tells you XX

[obxsprincess]

heyy girl, how are u? i know ive been kinda missing but i might need your advice on something bc im very confused and unsure (and my friends are being kind of unhelpful bitches lol

So, im in college right? and theres a lot of fraternities around, and I met this guy, a friend of a friend, and he lives in a fraternity.

So far so good right? We kinda flirted with each other for a few days until a party last night where we finally hooked up (i was drunk but everyone said it was pretty hot :)) but i had to leave bc my roomate was very sick so i never got to talk to him abt anything else basically. And my friend said tomorrow they'll have a small party to celebrate a bday on that fraternity, and everyone keeps saying i should lose my virginity to this guy (ik shocking im a virgin), but the thing people dont understand is that i get attached very quickly and to me our kiss basically locked in, so im kinda nervous ill get attached and he wouldnt want anything serious w me

Reading it back it feels kinda dumb but specially for people on campus and SPECIALLY on fraternities is very rare for u to get kinda together w someone so quick, so I DUNNO WHAT TO DO

- 💋

hiii babes, ofc ofc im always here to help!! and remember not even my opinion should persuade you into anything, cus I can only go off of my own experiences with virignity loss and hook ups 💞 but I hope my insights helpful!!

I lost my virginity at 16 back in high school (a long time ago and not at all saying ur guy is like this ! cus he probably isnt! especially cus hes an adult so I hope to fucking hell he isn’t) and it definitely happened very fast and quick, texted for a few days, made out, and then met up to have sex. in summary it ended with my nudes being leaked around the school and almost a felony on my name (for sending them?) but the thing ive took out of it (and only reason for the story, im srry cus I was so young so it might seem weird to include) n held close is to remember trust is one of the most important parts of sex really! because your putting your pleasure and body into someone elses hands, but also your emotional trust because sex is so much more than just getting physical for a few minutes, and its important to remember that the lingering thoughts shouldn’t ever be negative, or the guy broke the trust you put in him. truly the after sex reaction is just as important as being taken care of during. in my experience, because I didnt know the guy well, I went into it blind not knowing what I total asshole he was.

and trust, in my eyes, means knowing you’ll be treated right afterwards no matter what, even without a relationship basic aftercare if the bare minimum. and to me it doesn’t seem like you are convinced he’ll do that for you ! so pls pls be careful 💞 who knows ! he might be an amazing guy but if you arnt ready to take that step yet, don’t ! because the good ones are always willing to wait. I would say text him/talk to him in person if you have to too. because and I’m hoping not but you never know, his and your friends might have ‘talked’, and sex might be on his mind too. so if you feel comfortable, get on the same page with him with whatever you decide angel !! you deserve to lose your virginity and be glowing afterwards, its so much better than regretting it 💗 whether u choose to get to know him better or lose your virginity to him, stay safe bby and use safety <3 (pls make sure to discuss possible STD history on his side too btw !)

hope this helped a little love, love you and never let anyone pressure you please, cus fuck that

[wanderrlust0]

T-T

also my bf is being weird again….!!!! everyy time i hang out with snow (which has been a month or two apart) he gets weird with me again!!! he acts cold and short with me and its always like the next day. he swears im gonna cheat or not want him anymore, no matter how much i tell him that i wont and that i love him too much to think about wanting to leave him. like, i feel secure in our relationship and theres only a few things that could make me feel like its not. when he gets all anxious like this about us i feel like its bc he just doesnt feel fully secure with the relationship.. even tho weve been together for 4.5YeaRs. hes also had way more dreams than he should be having of me breaking up or leaving him. bc of his anxiety and fear of being cheated!!! like he gets upset bc they feel real in his dream and then he thinks what if its trueee. i feel like thats not fair to me in a way bc im not doing anything bad behind his back or seeking out someone else to make me happy. i also think maybe him feeling insecure with himself plays a factor into it. like maybe he feels like no one wants to stay with him or i dont love him anymore and he doesnt feel good about himself and then ends up suffering in his thoughts alone and becomes a hermit crab. i didnt mention anything to his mood yesterday bc i didnt wanna pester him with more to think about and i wont be able to see him in person for like a wk. i just wanted to seem fine..but maybe ill say something today. yesterday when i was contemplating on talking about it, i was going to be like howve you been, are you okay, do you still love me. mostly the do you still love me question bc seriously. so im also thinking that he saw snows bday post on ig since theyre not private and saw how they posted my card&drawing i did for them and ofc that made him feel a type of way. like, why is she making good art for someone else. i did it bc they didnt even want me to buy a gift for them or treat them or anything. they suggested to make something bc they like to display art in their room from other friends who have given them art. like the two people who i met the other day, they both create digital art of people. but thats why i made that drawing. aaand im planning on painting something for my other friend for her xmas gift. so i dont see giving my art as like a romantic gesture or anything, its just another way to give a personalized gift and it saves money lol. like, i just wanna shout “you have nothing to worry about!” i mean they were literally gushing to me about a guy they started seeing and they went on their first date yesterday and texted me about it and im just replying like im their hypewoman. i feel like this whole thing is making it feel like his worst nightmare and it shouldnt beeeee

edit: 12.14 / alright so i asked him “do you still love me?” and he says, “well yeah, nothing has happened yet to make me think otherwise” ………YET….. YET?!? like why are you beingggg like thiss to meee

[imraespace]

doing your hair last night and then it gets wet is so real 💔💔

im currently makinf another rin edit to post for his bday today once again bc i feel like this one edit is really easy to do BUT NOW IM LOOKING FOR FONTS SO THIS ISNT EVEN THAT EASY EITHER SO MANY FONTS R UGLY 👿👿

i was actually typing this ask like an hour or so ago but then one of my bluelock moots just?? ASKED ME FOR MATH HELP? i mean i helped them but like theyre basically making me do their work for them?? i dont really mind bc they seem younger than me but like broski im someone who makes edits and you ask me ABOUT MATH?? i thought id be able to escape math because i have it next semester but apparently not if im helping ppl on the internet STOP

theyre also honestly a little weird and very how do i say this like funny inappropriate??? like they started talking ab theyre gonna tickle me and stuff (if u get my gist HELP) like theyre a minor im also a minor so i dont really care bc ik theyre like YK JOKING BUT IM ALSO LIKE WE MET?? 2 DAYS AGO????? AND URE ALREADY LIKE THIS?? like im the same w my friends but ive known them for 3+ years and they just met me and theyre already going at it.. LIKE I DONT REALLY CARE TOO MUCH BUT ITS QUESTIONABLE??

i have chem homework due today at 11:59pm but im too lazy to get up and submit it like i legit already have it done but im… too lazy to get up take a photo and submit 💔 i cant be doing this

i started writing this at like 5:30 why did i finish typing this at practically 6:30 THIS IS NOT REAL

- 🐙

OMG YOU REMINDED ME TO MAKE MY EDIT (its gonna be unserious bc its on capcut and idk how to use capcut.. and im lazy) actually i had this edit idea for the itoshi brothers for a while but im lazy! maybe ill make it some day I HATE FONT HUNTING then i get distracted and forget im editing

HELPME MATHS IM CAKCLIN quit editing and become a maths teacher online🙏🏽🙏🏽!!

HELP TICKLE YOU? dang 2 days ago they wanna be your best friend!! i mean i understand but i think thats a bit too much for 2 days on tiktok if a mutual started talking to me in 2 days time im still scared to send a video HELP

haha chem hw cant relate as a business student!!! *points and laugh bc im too lazy to find the emojis on laptop* but i can relate with the lazy HELP i have typing hw to do and im typing rn! but i dont wanna open up word to type silly work😒

ALSO WHY DID IT TAKE YOU AN HOUR HELP

actually i wanna edit now i blame you (im joking)

[pumpkinsy0]

Tiny terror fem curly HC’s with a dash of purly thrown in?

fem curly whats GOOD🗣️🗣️

•im making her MY height, fem curly u r now 5’3 ur rlly climbing up the ranks here!!

•theres this one nick name tiana and angelo have for curly and its ti ti (“ti” in kreyòl means little and the other ti comes from tiana, so it literally just means little tiana) and she hatesss it so bad

•listen, she cant hold u against the wall to threaten u, but she can get u on ur knees (pause) and threaten u w her switch blade perfectly fine!!

•i WAS gonna make pony taller, but pony only being like 5’4 is so funny to me bc then curlys overplaying how tall pony is when she flirts w her n overplays how tall pony is, and ponys rolling her eyes and blushing

“but whos going to protect me???” she says w puppy eyes and shes literally stronger than pony, LMFAOOOO

•curly is like #1 hair puller in a fight, someone probably got a bald spot or something bc of her im ngl, her punches cant always automatically connect w faces so she literally pulls them down to do it

•I SAID IT BEFORE, but in haitian culture, the girls typically kiss each others cheeks as a greeting, and here, curly DEFINITELY uses this to her advantage and kissed pony when she could in front of others to tease pony, and angelo is especially over it and squints at them (mostly pony)

•ik curly smells pretty good actually, she steals angelos good cologne that she stole for him for his (well theyre twins so more like their) bday

•i think pony and curlys first kiss should b when curly was playing w ponys hair actually, speaking of kissing, they can just,,,turn aroudn and kiss each other for the most part, yea ponys taller but not by THAT much, i think its pretty sweet

•curly WILL make pony go into the girls bathroom when theres still class, mostly to fix her lipstick and kiss

•her voice is actually a lil raspy and yknow what??? she loves it a lot actually she thinks it gives her more edge

[yourmoonmomma]

hey can I ask your advice on this common issue? what do you think is the best option cause girl I have struggled with friends since forever. Every other person is either so self absorbed that they need jesus or idfk are people getting worse at communication and listening?

do you think its better to a) have limited amount of "friends" even fi you dont meet them regularly enough

b) those friends that only ever message once in a blue moon orrrr if they do ever meet up with you everything is abt them

c) or non at all bc everyone puts up a facade and you dont know which one is the real them

I feel like I have run into all sorts of people yet nothings stuck besides similar patterns in the type of people I seem to be running into. Even family and parents are sometimes a bit of a letdown as well or I barely get to see other relatives anymore. idk but the way society is currently doesnt give me good feelings and it seems that if we dont have or get into something early on we dont get to maintain close connections whereas others might just have been at the right time or place to meet their life long buddies. I tried clubs, online activities with another friend but it just didnt stick to me like that one thing would be all we had in common or they kinda didnt care to explore other activities that we couldve done well at together.

I just think and am concerned with how selfish people are becoming and how people dont even want to be accountable for nothing they ever did wrong either? Like you ask person can you not interrupt me but they will keep doing it over and over cause it seem nothing I say sticks to anyones mind. Then I get told off if im ever too loud or too quiet so I cant win with anyone. Even tho other adults are also loud and even more obnoxious than whatever im trying to do I jusr cant seem to receive the same attention long enough to feel valued

I mean say you had same age friend in college who kept turning down ur offers to socialise outside of their area / home? its rude asf imho, I even tell her that sure we can gift each other bday presents orrr we might hang out during class and such but anything else she didnt care to spend other time in my area or seeing something new or doing something new... every time I ask someone been rejecting me or almost ignore my existence even if they claim to be my "friend" I dont even tell no one nothing abt myself bc u dont know how the other person going to react and some people are chronic talkers or overshare too much and I think those types of people are more annoying to deal with bc u got to basicslly be their audience and they too also dont care that much to ask u nothing to show u no interest in ur intersts. it dont seem to matter what age or generation they be either. but damn people are getting harder to connect with bc u dont know what personality they going to have when trying to engage with them.

some people also outright contradict themselves or gaslight others in the same paragraphs or sentences too which make it harder to point out they doing it cause nobody ever wanna admit they at fault for something or other. so I cant win with that bc people seem to be so mentally asleep about themselves. I have experienced literal adult men throwing tantrums for over decade and got not a single response whenever I be trying to share my interest with them they just dont care or relatives idfk. I mean I can vent to someone and they show almost no emotion nor concern for my vent or problem. mostly bc they wont believe me or dismiss anything i ever say if they dont believe it as well.

same for those who dont ask how you doing? is the world just becoming so blindsided and cliquey, if we dont have the same level of interest that others have in themselves then they aint going to care but its been such a common pattern in my life and ik something was off when I was doing this fun run and was supposed to run with my "friends" but they ended up running slower basically to avoid me even tho i dont say nothing wrong to them then or at any point. idk why social rejection is worse feeling than completely being ignored cause at least I now want only peace in my life instead of buncha fake ass people who dont care in the long run but then life is less fun at the same time.

when ur a kid u think u can get so much praise and attention but when u an adult u quickly realise who really dont care in the long run or they can sometimes say they care but when u really upset with them they dont care to correct their behaviour. I think I been dealing with narcs my whole life bruh. sorfy for rambling thanks for reading

I think the first option is better. HOWEVER I am also a bad friend. Like I'll state it right off the bat to people. A mutual friend, Joy, recently messaged me saying she'd love to be closer with me, and I told her that I'd also love that, BUT I am not a good friend. I forget to text back, I almost NEVER text first, I'm flaky with plans, etc etc. If you need someone, I am there, but just as a general everyday friend? I'm not that great! So BECAUSE of that, your first option sounds better for me. But it may not be what feels best for you! However, I don't think isolating from numerous negative experiences is a good idea. I know it's hard to keep trying, but it will eventually be worth it.

You have to find the people who are more like-minded to you, and they ARE out there. Frankly I think you & my friend Jonah would get along REALLY well, you two seem to have similar personalities, or at least talk about very very similar things/experiences! You will find your people <3

Social rejection hurts more because you opened yourself. You're saying "maybe this will work this time." Your inner child is eagerly looking for connection and love and wants so badly for this to be the time you aren't rejected. So it feels like a slap in the face. You're right, if you don't put yourself out there, it doesn't hurt as bad!!! But you will also end up missing out on a lot.

And just know, you are NOT in the wrong for being hurt by those situations. I would be hurt too. I've been upset with a few friends lately who are always "so excited" to see me, but then if I spend a couple days NOT travelling to them, they will straight up ignore me or refuse to come over because it isn't worth their time. That shit hurts. So this college friend? I'd be upset too in your position. Likewise the running situation? I've been the third friend trailing behind another two while they talk. I've straight up stopped and watched them not realize, at all, that I wasn't with them anymore. Again, that hurts. GOOD friends? Don't do that. Or, if they do, they're willing to apologize and correct the behaviour. At least, friends who are good for you!

Also I'm probably gonna prove your point right that most people suck LOL but I'm sorry I have such a hard time answering your asks sometimes!! Big blocks of texts are hard for me to respond to unmedicated, or when I'm under the weather, or just... feeling my ADHD symptoms at all. Sounds like an excuse, but I am sorry, and I do always read your full messages, even if I don't respond <33