#this is basically a bad-written short fanfiction

[alchemillalost]

The Season 8 Destiel Meta Post Nobody Asked For (and why I think the writers had a Destiel endgame option in mind for season 8)

Okay, so here's the long version of this post that almost nobody wanted, but I'm writing it anyway. This is LONG. I'm sorry. And I want to start with it seems like s8 is polarizing, but I rather liked it, and I think it's because I live in the (delusion?) truth of this theory. Stay with me if you want to Believe too. I think Season 8 was written with two possible outcomes in mind; and with an endgame Destiel being the more likely of the two that the writers anticipated. Sounds insane, I am aware. You will need to stick with me here and extend some trust, but I promise I can show my work.

We need to set the scene: It's 2012. We are launching headfirst into the height years of tumblr fan culture. Gangnam Style grips the nation. Destiel is huge in fanfiction & tumblr land. However, interestingly, we're about two years past show's peak. Already once SPN was slated to end with S5's natural arc conclusion, but it didn't-- it was renewed because it was making the CW money, simple as. They have pushed on into the Sera Gamble era with Seasons 6 and 7, which have their respective flashes of brilliance, but all-in-all generally struggled to find footing in the post-Apocalypse Supernatural verse that was never actually planned for. It's pretty evident that the writing and plotting isn't nearly as tight as S1-5, simply because 1-5 was all mapped out from the get go.

It's been interesting returning to the fandom after a decade, because I'm finding a lot of people now who really liked Season 7. No hate, to each their own, and maybe it was just the circles I was in at the time, but in the moment S7 wasn't received well at all. It felt like they kept inflating the "big bad" to heights that sometimes struggled to get fully fleshed out (which, to be fair, continues to be a writing problem going forward). And while watching S7 in Netflix binge-mode it doesn't feel quite so bad, at the time having a year's worth of your fave TV show where Sam and Dean are systematically and pointlessly stripped of everything that gave the show its signature personality was nothing short of torture (killing Cas, the Impala, torching Bobby's place, killing Bobby), all in the name of more man-pain. All of that punctuated with a lot of filler episodes that felt like more misses than hits, the absolutely insufferable Amy Pond plot, and dick jokes just because the writers thought it was funny.

Everyone's opinions on S6-7 aside, though, Supernatural wasn't landing financially for the CW either. Season 5 aired on Thursday nights, which is a fairly well respected time slot for established and successful shows, but with Season 6 and 7 we see a demotion to Friday night, 9 PM ET. This is basically the kiss of death for a cable TV show. You sent your shows to Friday night to die. The CW was looking to the future with newer shows and the writing was on the walls that this circus was probably wrapping up soon.

However, in true Supernatural fashion, it wouldn't fucking die. Honestly, and I can only speculate here, I imagine such a die-hard and still-growing fanbase coinciding with a huge spike in social media + ease of access to fan spaces with the surge in commonplace smart phones/laptop computers is probably what kept performing CPR on this show.

So along comes season 8. The show is being passed to Jeremy Carver and Ben Edlund as a returning writer to head up the show. Other people have discussed the Sera Gamble era in depth, but what you need to know here, basically, is that the Carver/Edlund mind are ones that a) have not shied away from queer themes and b) are a lot of those Destiel classics. We're talking Ghostfacers, The End, My Bloody Valentine, On the Head of a Pin, The Man Who Would Be King (Carver), and Free to Be You and Me, Point of No Return (Edlund). Essentially, Sera's philosophy tended to be "strip it back to just the Winchester brothers" and Carver & Edlund were generally more open to having the surrounding cast of supporting characters. And these two definitely don't shy away from Dean & Castiel's relationship.

Here is where my theory gets a little speculative: I believe this is the point where where SPN was given one last hail mary by the CW. New writers and a Wednesday night slot, you have one more chance to make this work, otherwise you're getting the axe. It was renewed pretty late, in early May of 2012 (compare to S6 being announced Feb 2010). S7 had barely scraped its renewal in late April the year prior, too.

Okay, so let's put ourselves in that position for a moment as showrunners sitting down in the Supernatural writer's room in May of 2012. There are two things that might happen: 1) you just might pull it off, and you do such a good job you pull the show from the proverbial grave or 2) you don't pull it off, and you need to make sure the show ends on a satisfying note that wraps things up neatly. And you need to write and film a season that, until you get the yes or no from the CW, can do either and both or neither, and you may need to pivot in one direction or the other pretty quickly while you're filming the back half of your season.

Enter the Destiel endgame theory, which I believe was their scenario 2. Time to introduce the exhibits from the season.

General: Flashbacks. I wish they'd explored Purgatory more too, but it would've taken up too much time if they might have to fast-track a series finale later. (Also Amelia should've been all made up in Sam's head to cope with losing Dean but again, different post. Maybe it became a time constraint to explore too much too, if they thought the show might be ending.)

The evidence:

8x01 We Need to Talk About Kevin & 8x02 - & What's Up Tiger Mommy? We get flashbacks of Dean tearing Purgatory apart to find Castiel. When he finds him, he makes it clear he's coming back to Earth with him.

8x03 - Heartache- This episode focuses on the love between an immortal being and a human.

8x05 - Blood Brother - Benny/Queer Dean discourse deserves its own post. You can take or leave this one for this post's theory.

8x07 - A Little Slice of Kevin - 1) Dean is clearly hiding a boner when Cas gets out of the shower? 2) We introduce that Dean is deeply upset that Castiel didn't make it through the portal-- to the degree he's faked an entire memory because he'd rather it be his fault Cas is gone than have been abandoned by him

8x08 - Hunteri Heroici - Castiel wants to join Dean as a hunter; we're beginning to establish Castiel's genuine desire to spend his life with the Winchesters. This is then juxtaposed when Naomi forces him to stay away at the end of the episode, further telling us this is Cas' desire vs. Heaven's.

8x11 - Larp and the Real Girl - This is mostly a fun episode, but it's an example of queerness being gently nudged to the forefront of plots without immediate dismissal or being the butt of a joke-- rare for SPN at the time.

8x13 - Everybody Hates Hitler - Ah, the Aaron "He was my Gay Thing" moment. Dean leans all the way into the flirting. Does not give the "don't swing that way" speech, gets flustered, is at a loss for words. He appears disappointed later when he was wrong. This has little precedent on the show when Dean's been perceived as gay, he usually dismisses it very quickly.

February 11, 2013: Supernatural is renewed for season 9, a week after Everybody Hates Hitler airs.

Per these estimates, 8x18 is the next episode to be filmed post-announcement, beginning 2/12.

8x16 - Remember the Titans - A Forbidden Love plot. You can take or leave this one for this theory.

8x17 - Goodbye Stranger - OK, here is our inflection point for editing, in my opinion. The last month of eps, more or less, have been pretty trials-centric or one-off. This episode airs 3/20/2013. At this point, we know we're getting a season 9, but we've been building with all of the above, and this ep was filmed pre-S9 announcement... so much so that we have an "I love you" in the original script for the infamous crypt scene. I fully believe it was filmed and edited out in post.

Second, Castiel turns the walls of Naomi's office/lobotomy lounge the bi pride colors during the crypt scene. Someone on the crew at Supernatural literally tweeted that morning to be on the lookout for special choices in Naomi's office. It was very intentional. Why else pick these colors and declare they're intentional? (I have searched up and down for this tweet but it was rare i was there i remember it [the tweet] all too well please trust me)

UPDATE: Tumblr hive mind found it and it was Jerry Wanek saying they were… crosses? In the intersecting lines in the windows? (that's how lines work? lol) And it was amidst a spell of saying fans were reaching in their analyses, and though some of his replies have that tinge, it's not direct about the color commentary. I never saw the back half of that saga or forgot about it, didn’t mean to misrepresent anything! Either way I’ve been corrected but that office is still bisexual and you can’t tell me otherwise

And don't get me started on the "unicorn" stuff, that one person you'd throw everything away for (but I understand this can be interpreted in many ways) However, the season is renewed, we've picked the path they never thought they'd actually pull off-- now we've got to backpedal this Destiel just enough to not impact our precious CW bottom lines, but not piss off our faction of fangirls who watch to ship.

8x20 - Pac Man Fever - Charlie tells Dean she thinks Castiel seems "dreamy". Charlie is very gay and would only say this to elicit a reaction from Dean, we don't really get much of one. Again, lack of a "speech" on his sexuality.

*Note 8x18 Freaks & Geeks and 8x20 Pac Man Fever are filler eps, I think they could've been pulled if we needed the extra time to sprint toward a series finale*

8x21 - The Great Escapist - 8x23 Sacrifice- We hit a real fast escalation toward the season finale from here. I actually think this overarching plot was more or less always the idea for the ending, but how exactly it was executed depended on the renewal status.

The Alternate Series Finale Ending (That I believe they thought they'd have to do when they wrote it): If they hadn't gotten renewed, we are set up for Sam to close the gates of Hell and Metatron to use a spell to close Heaven using the heart of a nephilim (product of human + angel love), the bow a cupid (an angel that arranges love in humans), and the grace of an angel in love with a human. Hell and Heaven shutter up, Sam dies, and Dean is left with a human Castiel who has, for the better part of the season, already been "testing out" being a hunter alongside Dean and has literally moved heaven and earth to have this. He will not have to be the immortal doomed to love a human, as in 8x03, or have the forbidden love of 8x16; we receive resolution on those subjects for our heroes that the monster-of-the-week characters did not. They resolve their feelings for each other, because if we kept Dean's crypt "I love you" and we establish Castiel's grace was in love with a human... well, what else is there to say? (Oh, yes, and they did exactly this and pulled the Destiel trigger in S15 when it was all ending.)

The Actual Ending (That I think they got surprised about the renewal and had to do): Backpedal. Edit. Only drop little subtext again. We just need Castiel's Regular Grace TM for this spell. We can keep selling merch and con tickets and get views if we appeal to the widest audience possible, and we're not taking risks now that we've performed a literal miracle rescue from a Friday night 9 PM slot.

And once we start Season 9, we get a LOT of being hit over the head with Castiel & Dean's Heterosexuality TM, so much so it's awkward and even out of character. (Human Cas sighing about boobs in early s9? Like please. Get real.) It's a HARD left turn, but it makes more sense if you consider it all in the context above. I just don't think they'd have gone in so hard on the bullet points I listed if they had thought Season 9 was in the bag.

TL;DR: I think we might've had Destiel in 2013, but if we had, we wouldn't have also had the rest of the seasons. Whether or not that's a good thing is up to you, but I think it was a combination of a lot of external factors, capitalism, and, well, it being 2013, sadly. I think they were cowards about it, but at the same time, even the writers probably weren't pulling every string, they also needed to answer to other agendas. Television is a medium that is rife with the push and pulls of a thousand factors that aren't the pure story. Idk how to really wrap this, but this has been over ten years in the making so enjoy the fruits of my brain rot.

[fabuloustrash05]

10 Leonardo Headcanons

He has a problem when it comes to candy and other sweets. In short it’s a sugar addiction. If he eats the littlest bit of sugar, Leo becomes obsessed and will got on a sugar high. His brothers always have to hide candy from him when there’s some in the lair because it has gotten bad over the years. His main obsession is with chocolate.

He has a secret journal (his brothers call it his diary) where he writes his inner thoughts and feelings. He keeps it in his room under his mattress. One day, Mikey was nosey curious and wanted to look through Leo’s journal (totally not to learn dirty secrets he could use for new prank ideas) but he discovered that everything is written in Japanese. It’s Leo little way to truly make sure no one can read his personal stuff.

He has a passion and love for gardening. When living at the farmhouse, Leo passed the time by growing herbs and flowers in the O'Neil's mini garden in their backyard. His favorite flower is the lotus blossom.

Despite being named after the great Leonardo Da Vinci, Leo himself is a terrible artist and cannot draw even if his life depended on it.

Though he's a terrible artist, he makes up for it in his writing. He is a talented writer. He enjoys writing and reading poems, haikus, etc.

He also writes Spaceheroes fanfiction. Specifically Captain Ryan x Reader fanfiction, and they are very popular within the fandom.

His favorite form of humor/comedy is dad jokes and bad puns.

He has a secret passion and talent in ballet. He secretly practices in the dojo late at night, it helps him perfect is balance and flexibility.

He's a closeted bisexual. His Bi awakening was Captain Ryan and even had a crush on Casey for a short time (mostly during season 3). The only person who was able to figure out/tell that Leo is bi was Shini, cause she has an excellent gaydar.

However, because Leo’s first shot at romance failed miserably and was even traumatic for him (first woman he ever loved, turned out to be his sister) Leo now has a hard time opening his heart at any opportunity for romance. In his adult life he’ll eventually swear off dating and basically take a vow of celibacy, putting all of his time and focus on running and leading the Hamato Clan instead of socializing and dating.

Michelangelo Headcanons | Donatello Headcanons | Raphael Headcanons

[importantgalaxyrunaway]

Comments- Colby Brock x y/n- part 7-

AUTHORS NOTE: omg guys I am so so sorry just got back into Sam and Colby and decided to finish this in my drafts I had like a paragraph written already. This is my first time back into writing fanfiction since a concussion i had so I’m trying my best sorry it’s so short this is a continuation of my series where y/n got possessed in the last part

warnings: mentions on possession, fluff, slight slight angst,

“Babe” Colby called from his computer “you should come see this”

after me getting possessed I insisted on them posting the video. We were so lucky that we caught it on camera. They were hesitant at first but I said I want people to know what happened. It’s insane that I got possessed but I want people to know what really happened. It was a really scary experience. But I’m still really worried about the video. Would they say I’m just overreacting?. That it was fake and I was just a coward? But I always get some kind of nervous when they post a video with me in it. But this video was special. I still haven’t gotten to watch it yet. I had spent most of the time recovering and spending my time with Colby.

I go over to the computer and see him sitting reading comments. I sit down on his lap, even though he’s just wearing such a simple outfit sweatshirt and comfy pants he still looks hot. I look through the comments and to my surprise they are divided into basically two parts (well maybe 3 with the amount of people commenting “I don’t claim any negative energy from this video”) the first is about how scary it was when I got possessed and how bad they feel for me. The second is how people are talking about how they think me and Colby are dating and that there is so much chemistry between us. Another thing I noticed is that the video went viral. I mean stupid viral, more than most of their videos combined. It had only been out for 5 days and it already reached 50 million views!!! Mostly I think because of my possession from outside viewers who weren’t subscribed but there were plenty of fans. Some of the comments said the following:

Cheriklover333: I feel so bad for y/n she looks so scared I cant imagine how horrible it must feel to be posses like that

kurtwagnerisacinnimonroll: did anyone notice how Colby looked at y/n 😩. I need someone like that and did yall notice her hickeys 😳

Polaris-alt-account: people who think Colby and y/n are dating 👇

that comment had over 500k likes

I groan “shit! Shit! Shit!” I rub my temples “colbs I never wanted this im sorry I dragged you into this—“

“hey hey it’s okay baby” he wraps his arms around me and presses his head on top of mine. The weight of his body on mine feels good. The closeness and warmth feels good. His hands slip into mine and grasp it lightly but firm. He is protective but caring. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I don’t care what people think I just wanna be yours”

I nod but I still have tears in my eyes not much and I feel stupid for crying but I can’t help but think I’m the one that got us into this whole mess. My gaze drifts back to the computer monitor

rosefromtitanic: you guys need to chill yes I see the way he looks at her but they should come out and say it before we jump to conclusions I think they should do a Q and A

a smile on my face appears as a light bulb practically goes off in my brain. My eyes wander to my boyfriend. And again I’m taken aback by just how breathtaking he is…I can see his muscles and I wonder what under his shirt…………snap out of it!! You need to focus.

“colbs how do you feel about about making our relationship public?”

Edit: I TRIED I REALLY DID ITS THE BEST I COULD DO FEEDBACK PLEASE!!! might write a part 8. But x men is currently my hyperfixation and am definitely going to be writing for Peter maximof and young Charles Xavier so if you’re interested send ideas. Going to write for young Coryo snow even though he’s evil he’s hot. Tried my best couldn’t leave you all hanging

[y-rhywbeth2]

In Amn the chapbooks - which are sort of like monthly gossip rags crossed with farmers almanacs, short stories and fanfic zines and other stuff - contain what's basically E rated fanfiction about Sune and Sharess. (It's fine, the two clergies enthusiastically support and encourage it.)

But I do wonder if anybody's written porn about other gods. I mean, yeah, probably. This setting is stupidly horny at its base, really. I just know there are in-universe banefuckers who want the god of tyranny to step on them. But mostly I wonder if the toxic polycule Dead Three theory has ever been written about, even as a parody, in-universe. I think most people would avoid it out of fear, but somebody will have thought it. (Unlike followers of the goddesses of love and sensuality, I think it would turn into a competition between the Banites and the Bhaalists over who kills you first for suggesting their god has such bad taste in men. Depends on how they're represented I guess. Myrkulites wouldn't care, except you're ruining their image.)

[stumped-on-bennington]

Chasing Buses

Summary: You go to work expecting it to be just like any other day, little do you know that this job will chance the course of your life forever.

Pairing: Patrick Stump x Reader

Author's note: I haven't written fanfiction in like 5 years so im out of practice when it comes to this lol. regardless i hope you enjoy it! and feel free to leave some constructive criticism so that i can hopefully improve!

Another day of work. That was all today was supposed to be. Your job wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t that bad either. You worked for a tour bus company. Your job was to ride along with the band and bus driver throughout the tour and to help keep the bus stocked with drinks, food, and whatever else the band requested. Basically, you were a glorified gofer.

You’ve toured with tons of bands before. Some were super easy and nice and some treated you like garbage. Even the bands who didn’t even acknowledge you were better than the latter, and it was always the bands that would put so much effort into how they appeared to fans. You didn’t have a very wide range in terms of music taste, so when those types of bands would be on your bus and would find out that you didn’t listen to their music, that's when they would start looking down on you. 

You headed to the pick up spot with your luggage for the tour. Turns out you would be in charge of two buses this time. From what your boss told you, this band had 4 members and they would be riding 2 and 2 in each bus, so you would need to take inventory at each venue so you could figure out what you needed to pick up for each bus. As you approached, you noticed that it looked like only 2 of the members were there. They were both relatively short men, probably just about the same height as you, if not just an inch or two taller. One was slightly chubby, with his ginger hair peeking out from under a slightly crooked trucker hat. The other was more lean with shoulder length hair and a labret piercing. They were just standing outside the buses, looking around and texting on their phones, looking a little frantic. It was already 11:45 and they needed to get out of there by 12 in order to make it to the first venue on time. 

“Hey, uh.. You guys in the band?” You say, walking up to the two.

“Oh, yeah, I'm Patrick and this is Andy.” said the ginger man as he motioned towards the other, “We’re just waiting on two others, they should be here pretty soon.” 

You nodded your head and headed towards one of the buses to put your stuff away. After picking one of the bunks and throwing your bags in it, you walked back out the bus to hear a car screeching as it pulled up. Two more men hopped out, one with the really curly hair instantly went to the trunk to grab their bags while the other man, the one with dark emo hair, got out and shouted back into the car, “Thanks mom! I’ll make sure to call you!” The Woman in the car waved at all the boys before pulling off. Patrick waved and yelled “Bye, Ms. Wentz!” as she drove away. 

"Great,” you thought, “now that the others are here we can start getting on the road and get a head start in travel.” Before you can get a chance to introduce yourself to the other two, they are pushing each other, yelling, and running onto one of the buses; coincidentally, the bus that you had already put your stuff down in. “Great.” you think. You momentarily think about getting your bag and moving it into the other bus with the two more tame men, but before you can even fully consider the idea the leading driver steps out and tells you all that it is time to leave.  Hesitantly you get on the bus where the two lunatics are. 

Stepping on the bus you find that the two have already started to make themselves at home. They already have their bags open and strewn about the sitting area and one of them is already smoking a bowl. You Sigh at the mess that is already in front of you and the thought of what is to come.

 Just then the emo looking one approaches you. “So, uh… who are you?” he asks.

“I’m Y/N. I work for the bus company.” You say.

“Shit, we got a babysitter??” The curly haired one says, after talking a rip off his pipe. 

“I'm just a gofer. Whatever you guys need on the bus, I’ll get it.” You tell them.

“Oh, sweet! So like anything? You can get us ANYTHING?” the emo one asks.

“Anything that is legal, yes.” You inform him. 

He shrugs at your response and takes a seat next to the other man, plopping down on the sofa. “So, Y/N. Tell me, is this a dream come true for you?” He asks.

“What?” You ask, a little taken aback by the odd question.

“You know. You look to be in your 20s, you dress pretty alt,” He motions to your black tee shirt with white long sleeve under and your baggy jeans. “So you have to be into Fall Out Boy. You must be pretty stoked to be touring along with THE Pete Wentz,” He points to himself, “and Joe Trohman.” he points to the other man. 

You laugh at the assumption, gaining a raised eyebrow from Pete. “What? What's so funny?” He asks.

You compose yourself before speaking, “I have no idea who you guys are, dude! I don’t have time to listen to music because of the restraints of my job. The only thing I get to listen to is whatever the driver listens to on the road, which usually happens to be Aerosmith.” You say, nodding a head towards the driver’s seat. Pete and Joe look at you for a second, then each other, then once again back at you. 

“Sweet!” They both say in unison. “It’ll be great to have someone our age to hang around that doesn’t care who we are. It’s impossible to talk to anyone who isn’t in the band without them freaking out and having a moment.” Pete says. You laugh at the excitement the two express at the thought of making a new friend. 

After getting settled in a little bit, Pete and Joe tell you more about themselves and the other members of the band. You learn that Pete and Andy are both 26 and Joe and Patrick are both 21, they're from a city just outside of Chicago, and that Patrick is single and that you are “totally his type” as Pete puts it. You roll your eyes at this comment. You're used to getting hit on in your line of work, it comes with the territory of spending months on buses full of men. You choose not to mix work and relationships, knowing that it just gets messy and leads to people getting hurt, plus the last thing you need is your boss to find out your helping the clients out in that way. 

Before you know it you're already pulling up to the venue bus parking. You take a quick inventory of both the buses and make a list of anything that needs to be restocked. While the crew are getting the stage set up, you get in the rental car that your company sets to be delivered at each venue for you specifically to do your job. You make the run to the store, making sure to get enough water, snacks, and other meal items for both the buses. You make sure to follow the special requests that were left for you, like making sure to get a selection of vegan options for Andy, and even pick up a few extra things for yourself, like your favorite candies. Once you’re all done with your shopping, you get loaded into the car and drive back to the venue. It’s still a little early so the parking lot isn't too bad, but there are a few really dedicated fans who are already lining up at the front door. You pull around to the restricted back and flash your badge at the security, who lets you drive right through. 

When you pull up to the buses you see that the band members are standing right outside, playing around with some toy that Pete had brought with him. As you step out and walk around to the trunk of the car, Patrick instantly perks up and rushes over, “Hey, let me help you!” He says, Grabbing a few of the bags from the trunk and bringing them towards the buses. 

“One second!” you say to Patrick before he enters either of the buses. You walk over and double check the bags that he is carrying. “Okay, these ones go on Pete and Joe’s bus. The rest should go for you and Andy, and then we can put a case of water on each bus.” Patrick nods at these instructions and carries the bags onto the appropriate bus while you bring yours to the other. You get everything put away and then head back out to get the case of water for the bus. As you walk out you see Patrick coughing a bit as he steps off the other bus, he quickly walks over to you. 

“You’re ok with them smoking on the bus?” He asks you.

“They paid extra to be able to, so I can’t really object to it.” You tell him, shrugging your shoulders. Patrick looks at you with a frown on his face. 

“Besides, I was planning on moving over to your bus before we take off from the venue tonight. Something tells me that no matter how well I hide some of my snacks, Pete is going to end up finding them.” You say, earning a chuck from Patrick. “Yeah,” he says, “Pete has a nose like a doberman, you can't keep anything from him.”

By the time you get the groceries all put away the guys are already off to the sound check. You use the down time to move your things from your original bus to Patrick’s bus, and then make your way backstage to watch some of the show. You pick a spot just off the side of the stage where you won’t be in the way. The concert starts and you learn real quick why Pete was surprised you didn’t know who they were. They freaking rock! Every song is something amazing and Patrick’s voice, oh man can he sing! You were truly taken aback by their music. 

As they played, you must have had a look of amazement, because when Patrick looked over at you he had the biggest smile on his face. Pete, noticing the beaming smile that Patrick had and looked in the direction he kept glancing at. It was like Pete could smell the electric bond that you two were sharing in the moment and knew what he had to do. 

When the show ended you were grinning ear to ear as Patrick walked up to you. 

“So I take it that you liked the show?” he asked. 

“You guys are really something! When I first saw you I had no idea you had such a beautiful singing voice!” you say.

Patrick blushes slightly at the comment, “T-thanks, I'm really happy that you enjoyed it.” he says, rubbing the back of his neck. As you walk with Patrick back to the buses, you hear what sounds like a raging bull running towards you from behind. As you both look back you see Pete and Joe carrying a yelling and kicking Andy, running with him towards the buses. Before either you or Patrick have time to question what they were doing, Pete and Joe carry Andy onto their bus and slam the door. Before you know it, the bus starts taking off. Confused, both you and Patrick rush to get on the other bus in order to follow after them. 

“What was that about?” you ask Patrick.

“I have no idea, but knowing Pete and Joe, it's probably not going to end well.” He says, sitting next to you on the sofa in the shared space. Just then you feel your phone go off. It’s a text from Pete, “when the hell did he put his number in my phone?” You say as you open the text.

Pete: enjoy the free time w/ trick xoxo ;) 

You sigh at the text, knowing now that Pete is absolutely crazy.

Just then Patrick also gets a text. 

Pete: make some moves and make them count. andy is pissed and i dont want it to be for nothin >:)

Patrick blushes at the text. Realizing how his friends were trying to set him up. 

You both sit there awkwardly for a minute, unsure of what to say. 

Patrick clears his throat, “so, uh, Y/N… What are you into? Like do you have any hobbies or favorite movies?” 

You shift in your seat slightly, still feeling the awkward tension. “Well, I play bass and draw a bit, but I don’t usually have a whole lot of time to enjoy those things, being on the road most of the time makes it hard to get a break where I can practice.” You say, rubbing the back of your neck. “As for favorite movies, I mostly like stuff from the 80s, so The Goonies, Top Gun, Indiana Jones and The Breakfast Club. but my all time favorite movie is Ghostbusters.”

Patrick instantly sat up with excitement, “Really? Ghostbusters is my favorite too! I basically have all the words memorized. What's your favorite line?” 

“Yes it's true,” you begin to say. Patrick knows exactly what line you're referring to and joins in, saying it in unison with you. “This man has no dick!” You both laugh with excitement over your shared interest. Talking more and finding out you have a lot in common. 

Soon the buses pull up to a gas station to refuel, allowing everyone to get down for snacks and to stretch their legs. You and Patrick happily hop off the bus, still chatting and laughing.

Pete, Joe, and Andy also get off their bus and begin walking towards you too. Andy looks defeated, tired, and his face and hair are covered in dead bugs.

“Andy, what happened to you??” Patricks asks.

“Their whole bus smells like weed. I couldn't handle it.” Andy said with an exhausted tone.

“Dude spent the entire ride with his head out the window. I know he's straight edge, but we didn’t even smoke at all while he was with us.” Pete says, budding in. 

You and Patrick help to get Andy back onto your bus so he can clean his face and rest, 

“Oh hey, I actually brought my copy of Ghostbusters with me! We can pop it in the DVD player on the bus and watch it together!.. I-if you want.” Patrick says, stuttering a little bit at the end, realizing how what he just asked sounds like a bit of a date. 

“Oh hell, yea!” you say, “Wait, I have the perfect snacks for us to share!” You say, retrieving your secret stash. You open the bag, revealing the assortment of black liquorice, hi-chews, and butterscotch drops. Patrick’s heart skips a beat seeing all his favorite candies. You set up the sofa with pillows and blankets and make it super cozy as Patrick gets the TV set up. You both watch the movie, laughing and reciting every line, word for word together. By the end of the end of the movie you’ve both fallen asleep, cuddled into each other and holding on as if your lives depended on it. 

From that night forward, you and Patrick were inseparable. 

Bonus!:

Andy: guys let me back on your bus please

Pete: why? i thought you didnt like our bus?

Andy: they put on ghostbusters and it's unbearable. i feel like i'm listening to it in stereo 

Andy: *Image attachment*

Andy: they fell asleep finally, but i already know theyre going to be doing this every night. trade me buses plz

Pete: aww look at them, so cute 

Andy: pete plz 

Pete: sux 2 sux. Xoxo <3

[holycatsandrabbits]

From OTP to OC’s: How to scrub your favorite fandom couple into original characters

Plot out a completely new story that you are dying to write—because all your favorite stuff is still there.

If you’re a fanfiction writer, you probably have at least one OTP (One True Pairing, meaning your favorite fictional romantic couple). You might have written them a beautiful story (or thirty) on AO3.

But at some point, you may want to take your OTP out of fandom and into the world of original fiction. Possibly because it makes your writing accessible to people who aren’t part of your fandom, and possibly (probably) because unlike fanfic, for original fiction, you can actually get paid.

So how on earth do you take other people’s characters and make them your own, without getting rid of the fire that sparks your muse?

In my journey from fanfic to original fic, I started by writing AUs (alternate universes) of my first OTP, Aziraphale and Crowley from Good Omens. In an AU, you are making big changes to the source material, but leaving in most of what your fandom loves about the characters. In a Good Omens AU, Aziraphale and Crowley are often human instead of angel and demon, but the basic enemies-to-lovers trope usually remains, along with the personalities of the characters, and as many similarities to the original story as you can fit in.

Scrubbing (that really is the technical term) fandom all the way to original is the same process, it just goes farther. When you’re done scrubbing, the only things left about your OTP will be the pieces you as a writer can’t live without.

So what are those pieces? Well, it’s entirely subjective. But you can follow these five steps to find them:

1. List your characters’ traits

We’re going to take as example an OTP I am currently scrubbing, which is just as cringy as all of your OTP’s: Link and Sidon from The Legend of Zelda Nintendo games. You don’t need to have any idea who that is to follow this article. But here are their character traits, the good and the flaws:

Link: human (or elf?) male, great hero of legend, very good at fighting, quiet, private, helpful, mischievous, possibly in love with someone he doesn’t remember (Princess Zelda), guilty, and haunted by past failures.

Sidon: 7-foot-tall shark man, gregarious, ridiculously optimistic and complimentary, charming, nerdy, sometimes over-confident, a good fighter, ages slowly compared to humans (or elves), and oh yeah, he’s a prince. 

Note that these don’t have to be the traits the fandom at large assigns to these characters. This is the way you see them.

2. List your ship’s tropes

“Ship” is short for relationship, in this case our romance. So for these dudes, we have: human/nonhuman or human/monster, royal/commoner, long lifespan/short lifespan, and size difference.

3. List your plot’s main points

In the two games that have Sidon (Link’s in all the games), Link has to go to four different places and help four different peoples (leaving Sidon behind), then beat a bad guy in a castle, and save the world.

4. Scrub in

Now we’re ready for the operation. You’re going to go through everything you listed and start throwing things out. As you do, ask yourself this question: Does my heart still race? 

If you take out a piece and your muse is still humming for this OTP, then let it go. But if the absence of that part ruins the whole thing for you, then leave it in. Remember, you don’t want people to recognize this as a certain fandom or ship, so take out everything you possibly can.

So for the Link/Sidon ship, I’m asking myself, Does it matter (to me) that one is royalty? Does it matter that they age differently? Does it matter that one’s two feet taller? Does it matter that one is a monster? Do I still need to have a save-the-world plot? Do I still need them to be separated sometimes during the story? And so on. Again, this is entirely subjective: leave in only what floats your personal boat.

5. Make it weird

You have your list! Congrats! Now it’s time to change every other detail you can, because you want to make your story as different from the original as possible.

Let’s say I decide I really want to keep my monster character. Then it definitely shouldn’t be a shark man like Sidon. So I’m asking myself the same kinds of questions: Does it matter (to me) that he’s seven feet tall? Does it matter that he has sharp teeth? Does it matter that he can breathe underwater? And so on. 

Perhaps the only thing I really care about is my monster’s size. In that case, I need to come up with a large humanoid creature that’s as different from a shark as possible: maybe a centaur, bear shapeshifter, giant alien bird person, or scientist that had an accident in the cloning lab. 

Let character and plot shape each other into a completely new story that you are dying to write—because all your favorite stuff is still there.

Here are two original stories I wrote based on fandom ships:

You Don’t Say: When two fake psychic con men who secretly pine for each other are forced to work together to solve a disappearance, they discover that one of them is actually psychic. But which one? This is Aziraphale and Crowley, with the tropes of enemies-to-lovers, dorkiness, and bickerflirting preserved, along with elements of magic. Turns out those were the only pieces I couldn’t let go, and the resulting story is nothing like Good Omens, but was really fun to write.

Bloom: A shy older man with magical abilities becomes the muse of a beautiful young male artist. This comes from one of my OTPs from the 2018 TV show The Terror: John Bridgens and Henry Peglar, an older man/younger man, teacher/student ship. I left in the age difference (toned down quite a bit), and kept the outgoing/shy trope, but changed the teacher into an artist’s muse with a gift of magic. This story has very little in common with a horror show about Sir John Franklin’s doomed 1840’s arctic expedition—except the few parts I couldn’t live without.

There is one major disadvantage for a fanfic writer moving to original fiction: you will not get nearly as many readers for original fic. But remember, readers in your fandom are there because they love the same character traits and tropes you do, some of which will be preserved in your story. You may not have as many readers, but you will get some fans of your own! And maybe even some sales.

Thanks for reading! Speaking of sales—here’s how I do it: How to publish a short story

Looking for more inspiration? Get some weird writing prompts. 

DannyeChase.com ~ AO3 ~ Linktree ~ Resources for Writers

Image credit

[gloryundimmed]

Get to know the mun ! repost, don’t reblog .

——— BASICS.

NICK NAME : Gray/Grayson

PRONOUNS : He/him

ZODIAC SIGN : Aquarius— fits me, right?

TAKEN OR SINGLE : Single, but a flirt and I'm sorry

ANYTHING ELSE ? : Nah I'm just chillin'

——— THREE SERIOUS FACTS.

I currently make money off of freelancing in web design and graphic design. I've worked for four literary journals now in some capacity, and I usually take the roll of web editor/graphic designer plus a reader. I'm also the web editor for my school's newspaper. My hands are always full, but that's the way I like it. I like commotion and stimulation.

I tend to keep people at an arms length even if I don't mean to, so if I ever feel distant, I apologize. I can just get weird when I'm too attached to someone, and I hate that feeling. Though it comes back to bite me in the ass because sometimes I feel like I have a ton of friends and I'm very social and love people, but I've got no "best friends."

I've got ADHD, which in my case means that I say yes to anything new and shiny despite how busy I may be. Sometimes I can be bad at gauging how much I can do at once, which leads to things slipping off my plate. Plus, the executive dysfunction is real af and I sometimes need a kick in the ass to get things done. Sorryyyy but you love me, right?

——— THREE RANDOM FACTS.

I have a dog named Romeo and I love him soooooo much

Death and knowing I'll die one day doesn't really scare me. Not that I want to die or anything, but letting people down scares me much, much more. It's my worst fear yet I feel like it happens all the time.

I love attending concerts, and music is a big inspiration for my writing. I'm always listening to something!

——— EXPERIENCE.

I've been into creative writing since I was at least 12, and at that age I began rp on a website called wetpaint.com with an elf OC because I was so into LOTR back then. Shortly after, I made an OC named Jake who I wrote with a lot. Wetpaint was like wordpress, a service where you could create little privately owned websites that could be made for any purpose with a forum/comment-like setup on most pages, and I would write with my in-person friends. I took a bit of a break from rp in my first three years of high school, but still wrote short stories. During my senior year, I got back into the rp scene, but that time here on tumblr. I've been writing here on and off ever since, with the creation of Kai in July 2014. Currently, I'm getting my bachelors in creative writing, so I guess that might count as experience, too. Sometimes I even write fanfiction lmao.

——— MUSE PREFERENCE.

Gosh, idk. I tend to go for a lot of different types of muses as long as they are written well and don't feel empty. I do lean toward more action/fantasy/romance than regular slice of life or platonic stuff, though. The muses I find most interesting have a lot of depth. I tend to find people with 20+ muses on their blog a little intimidating because I can't imagine having so many and it's hard to choose between them all. Also, it may not be true, but sometimes I can't help but think if they have so many, they can't possibly be at the depth that I'm looking for, but I'm probably just wrong on that. I barely have my 6 guys and write Kai the most of all, so it's hard for me to understand.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT.

FLUFF : I think I like cute stuff as much as the next guy. Sometimes I can find it a little boring, though. LMAO

ANGST : I LOVE angst. I love two characters who don't get along or have some sort of friction between them. It's my lifeblood, and that's probably obvious to see since I have a muse like Kai as my main. Conflict, heartbreak, violence, despair— I love it all.

SMUT : Can you guess? Again, with a muse like Kai, I think its clear that writing sex and sexuality is a big part of my journey as a writer. It's not a must-have for me in any rp, but it certainly spices things up and goes hand in hand with angst. Anything you catch me writing solo is bound to have smut in it somewhere, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Sex is such a huge part of life for a lot of people, and I think the Puritan guilt of society has caused many to shy away from it. I strive to be a sex-positive writer. If it's not your bag, though, I can certainly understand that as well.

——— PLOT / MEMES : They don't call me the idea guy for nothing! I love plotting, even if it doesn't always come to fruition or never comes to fruition. Plotting sustains me. It has the thrill of imagining scenes without having to go through the slog of writing them. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy writing, but I don't always have the energy to roll up my sleeves and get to it. I also love memes! Any meme someone sends feels like a love letter to me and my muses. They're great because they can start things off with no plotting required. I send them in as often as I can, but sometimes I'm not around and don't see them.

TAGGED BY : @shishitoren-vc tyvm!! love u

TAGGING: @lured-into-wonderland @incandescentia @eraba-reta-unmei and anyone else who wants to. I chose some people I don't know as well but would like to!

[mosylufanfic]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

Tagged by @rifle-yes, the fool

1. How did you get into writing fanfiction?

See answer #3 below, but the short version is that I started writing and posting stories at the Derbyshire Writer's Guild, a Jane Austen fanfic site. And it's all been downhill from there.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

Oh boy. Hang on. This is a hard one because multiple of my fandoms are like, within a larger fandom? So there's a good amount under the Star Wars umbrella, and a bunch of Jane Austen, and a lot of DCTV. Going back and counting the major fandoms (the ones I remember being really into and doing several fics for, as opposed to just one or two to scratch an itch), I think it's seven. If you do count the one-offs, it's more like 12 or 15. Look, I've been on many fic sites and I'm still trying to get off my ass and archive everything on AO3. It's hard!

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

Pretty much since forever? I remember writing Little Mermaid fic in fourth grade, although I didn't really have that word for it at the time. And there was an epic (and epically bad) Star Wars sequel that I worked on for years in my tweens. I started posting fic online at 19 when I realized that was a thing I could do (see #1). So in terms of writing fic that I shared with other fans, 24 years.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

Definitely read, although there are times where it's a close run thing.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

I think my worldbuilding has improved over the years. I never did it on purpose, but I see a definite uptick in how deeply I think about the worlds I'm writing in and the various implications of that for the characters.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Oh so many things! I freaking love research. I think the most morbid (and mathiest) was trying to estimate how much air a man had available in a 10x10 space buried underground.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

This is like asking what kind of cake is best, but I do love the ones that pick up on something I didn't even realize about the story. I had one recently that pointed out a shift in language that signaled deeper and more focused intimacy in the course of a smut scene. And I was like, ". . . huh. Well, I'll be. That sure did happen."

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

I think probably the Space!Paperwork in Lost & Found was the fringiest thing I've ever done.

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

Oh, man, longfics. I often come up with an idea and I just know from the shape of it that it's going to be a a monster. And then I have to decide if I want to go through all the work of plotting and writing thousands and tens of thousands of words. That's why I have so many one-shots that are basically "pilot episodes" for longfics that will never be written.

10. What is the easiest type?

Modern AUs, especially high school AUs. There's so much there that's already known to the readers that I can just laser-focus on the part that's interesting to me.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

I do a lot of my writing on Gdocs. I know they're the devil, but I might be settled down to work on four or five different machines throughout the course of my day, and half that time is on the public floor where I have to look available to help people. So to me, it's better to be able to quickly sign into a website and tap out that quick scene than to try and hide my phone under the desk and write on that horrible little keyboard. (I'll do that too, but only when I have no other option.)

Longfics get ported into Scrivener when they get too unwieldy for Gdocs, but I'm still more likely to write scenes in Gdocs and paste them into the Scrivener file when I'm done.

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

Probably some of the longfics that are knocking around in my brain, especially the ones that concern areas of the Star Wars canon that I never really got into.

13. What made you choose your username?

It's a nickname my mom used to call me when I was a teenager, and when I was picking my AIM screen name in college, that's what I went with. Actually, I had another one first that was objectively cooler, but I forgot the password to that account and either I was too dumb to reset it or there wasn't functionality for that. So mosylu it was. I also decided at the time that it would be my Internet Identity, and it still is.

Tagging @andorerso, @hedgiwithapen, @incognitajones, @colleybri, and @youareiron-andyouarestrong

[baobhanlore-art]

TW: Domestic Abuse

As someone who heavily critiques the writing of Stella, I don't have a problem with her being an abusive woman that does evil things. I feel like people try to pin the double standard excuse on us critics to dismiss our arguments. My problem is that she's comedically inconsistent and has bewildering motivations that make little sense.

To compare the two main abusive antagonists of the series, I'll compare her to Crimson Crim is a mafia boss who's clearly trying to uphold their family legacy. He abuses Moxxie to achieve that and would kill him to protect himself. Clear, understandable though clearly evil motivations.

Stella was first introduced as an aristocratic person who hated the humiliation that came with being publicly cheated on with an imp, resulting in violet domestic outbursts. So you'd think she'd aim for damage control and upholding a reputation, perhaps polite in public but a nightmare in the home (as domestic abusers often are) and maybe try to manipulate the Goeita to make herself seem like an honest victim with a degenerative husband who deserves his money, power and child.

But she doesn't, she just tried to make Stolas's life a living hell, she even admits it in "The Circus". Her motivations are to hurt him, which isn't an accurate representation of abuse or abusers yet it's upheld as a perfect example. This even happens BEFORE the cheating so it's not like she became unhinged from that.

If you personally relate to Stolas's struggles, then power to you. But from a writing standpoint, Stella feels stupid and pure evil in a situation that requires more nuance.

As someone who hasn't suffered domestic abuse but definitely abuse from friends, the ones that care about reputation tend to only show their ugly colours to you and when you call them out they turn all your mutual friends against you until you're left either forced to forgive them for the millionth time or abandoned.

"But it's Hell and all people there are awful"

I'd say it's probably more evil to be deceptive and manipulative about your abuse. Hell is literally built by the most powerful deceiver. Not to mention characters do show morals throughout the show, like Moxxie feeling bad about killing a family or his healthy relationship with Millie.

She reminds me a lot of the one note antagonists from Brandon Rogers sketches, except terribly misplaced in a story that tries to take itself seriously at times. Like if they tried to use Helen in a serious drama about being abused by school staff. It wouldn't work.

In short, Stella isn't badly written because she's evil. She's badly written because she's (unintentionally) stupid.

I feel like I'm becoming disillusioned with this franchise. So many other critics' have covered this better but I'm fearful for Hazbin Now. Especially with how Valentino is written in comparison to how fans interpret him in fanfiction (basically a terrible person but still somewhat human. Not in a sympathetic way but in a way that feels real).

[awakentheeldritchabomination]

The Thing About Redesigns, Rewrites, and Reimagines…

(Part I: Broader Discourse)

To those of you who’ve been keeping tabs or maybe seen my posts floating around the tag, you might recall me mentioning that I felt a bit of hesitancy toward the prospect of joining in on the recent wave of redesign/rewrite content. In the more likely scenario that you haven’t or do not know what the crap I’m talking about, that’s fine lol. Understandable. It was a little thing I had written into my first rewrite/redesign post about Charlie. In a short aside, I explained that it was because I’d felt “bad about tinkering with someone else’s work like this”, and then I’d left it at that. So… yeah. Why am I bringing it up now?

Well, I don’t think I need to tell you that this fandom is… a lot. Y’know people have been talking…discourse is being had… heated, moral arguments are being hurled left and right. And in light of all the growing, reactionary accusations, I…found myself starting to feel bad again.

My initial issue, the reason why I didn’t immediately jump to sharing my ideas was that, for all her faults, I empathize with Viv as a creator and didn’t want to feel like I was disrespecting her, her characters, and her vision by reworking it to suit my own. I had frustrations and criticisms, but I never wanted to make it seem like I was trying to ‘fix’ her work or her style. I really didn’t want to be one of those pretentious dipsh*ts (the kind that take a piece of art, digest it through their own preferences and biases, then spit it back in the artist’s face with a, “There. I made it better”). In the end, I went through with it because I had a small hyperfixation and a tendency to project my own issues onto characters I love (I’m sure some of y'all can relate). And also, I was having fun. But… then more discourse poured in, and I saw all the concerns I expressed reflected in the arguments presented by other fans and artists.

And well… That made me feel like I was doing something wrong, like perpetuating and becoming the exact problems I had wanted to fight against. So, I took a step back. I reevaluated.

Now, I have thoughts (shocker!).

And they are conflicted.

On one hand I agree with the idea that redesigns/rewrites are not inherently bad or disrespectful things when it comes to productions like Hazbin since Viv is not a small creator with no power. She and her team have ultimate authority over the show’s events, and those plans will not be derailed by what is basically some random tumblr artist’s fanart/fanfiction.

In regards to the critical side of things, that kinda comes with consuming and digesting the messages and presentation of a work of art. Ideally, it should get people to discuss in this capacity, especially when it deals with such sensitive subject matter as Hazbin does (and especially when it is executed with evidently problematic notions which do bleed into the designs at times).

Still, I do think this trend can be disrespectful if the intention and presentation are made with an aggressive holier-than-thou attitude which explicitly seeks to one-up the creator. Though I understand where it comes from, I think that can be just straight, undiluted maliciousness with a generous helping of pretentious, self-appointed superiority. And I don’t think it’s necessary to pick apart the style itself. You don’t have to like it, of course, but I feel like stating your preference for one way of drawing over another and asserting it as if it were some objective truth antagonizes the entire point of individual artistic expression and personal taste. Criticize the lack of diversity (something which, I’d like to add, is not actually unique to Hazbin) and potentially problematic aspects, but not the style. Even then, it’s important to be constructive not destructive.

That being said, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me (especially if anyone who’s a die-hard fan finds this) Whether you do or not is on you, and that’s okay.

This is more a snippet of my thoughts than a fully developed rant. I just wanted to share where I’m at right now. There will be a part 2 to this expanding some of my feelings while also outlining where I might go from here because things are going on in my head, and I don’t actually know whether I will continue or not with this project. Right now, it feels like it’s drifting toward a more original direction (Charlie feels like an entirely different yet vaguely similar character and dang it I’m attached…It’s kinda weird lol) so….anyway—I digress.

Thank you for reading.

[blunt-force-therapy]

Finally, an intro post!

POSTING LIMIT: hit

Drafts counter: 1670 of 1750 left

ASKBOX: Askbox open, Asks w/ media open, Anons open

SUBMISSIONS: Open

Basics:

My name is Maximilian, or Max for short. I am Brazilian, 19 years old, NB, panmasculine but mostly nonhuman, bi, maybe a little ace. Preferred pronouns are it/its, but she/her is also fine (no they/them, he/him only if you know me). I've been here since January 2023 and still haven't figured this place out, but I hope you'll have fun snooping around my blog.

My Community:

So I made this thing. I didn't expect it to be approved but it is indeed one of the things that exist. Come in to have some fun if you want :3

Hobbies: work in progress

Main interests:

Academic: General history, particularly of European and Amerindian societies, ancient European history, early Slavic history, 16th and 17th century Taiwan, Tokugawa Japan, the Republic of China, and of course Brazilian history. Language and linguistics, particularly Romance and Slavic languages.

Anime: Code Geass, Soul Eater, Death Note are the ones I like the most (will reblog stuff from Hetalia, Dungeon Meshi, and whatever's gay, cute, or even both)

Fanfiction: Meh. Only recently getting back into reading Harry Potter fanfics and that's after a while. If you have fanfics from a fandom I'm not in I'll still read them though.

Games: Uhhhh, Minecraft? And Tetris? I play Grepolis too.

Literature: For non-fiction I mostly enjoy historical and biographical works; my favourite authors so far are Anthony Beevor and Laurentino Gomes. For fiction I mostly enjoy fantasy and historical fiction, some of my favourite books are the Harry Potter, Leviathan, and Artemis Fowl series. I also love anything ever written by Finnish author Mika Waltari.

Movies: I don't do that.

Random: Calligraphy, conlanging and conscripting, language learning (currently Russian), legal history, true crime, execution methods, calendar reform, antidisestablishmentarianism, and others, and others, and others.

People I'll block on sight:

Just the usual. TERFs, "gender critical", radfems, serial killers (unless you're hot), and so on. I'm also very careful to avoid any interaction whatsoever from antisemites and people who spread antisemitic language and materials. Furthermore, if you seek to deny, minimise, justify, or ignore war crimes and crimes against humanity by any regime or political movement (communist, capitalist, fascist, etc) I wish explosive diarrhoea upon you.

If you're a minor and make any advances towards me I'll tell you to cut that out once, if it happens again I'll softblock.

If you're devoutly Christian (which is not a strict DNI criteria) and post about it very very frequently, I might not want to follow you back in order to avoid that sort of content.

Sideblogs:

Active: @official-macau

Inactive: @official-svetka

Inconsistently active: @aljamianova @extendedcyrillicblog

Good stuff about me:

Proficient in Word, Excel and PowerPoint;

Always willing to at least listen and in the case of an argument, to hear out your side of it;

Aspiring casual writer; occasionally creative and even poetic when not hysterical;

Poly, Trans, NB, Intersex, Therian, etc friendly;

Will make an effort to use your pronouns accurately;

Have been cringe enough in my time to not be upset with "edgy" humour, just vaguely disappointed;

Will react to your ships positively or neutrally, no ship is truly bad, I may not enjoy it though;

I pee sitting down

Bad stuff about me:

I have a lot of trouble with communication and that's very frustrating, so might take a good while to respond if you message me;

You might see a lot of very incoherent vent posts here, I don't mind interaction with them;

I don't enjoy talking or hearing about most subjects to do with maths or physics. I also don't enjoy talk of Christianity no matter how progressive;

I tend to lash out at mostly inconsequential things sometimes.

Tags:

#s3lf for posts I write myself

#pos reblogs for posts I reblogged where someone in the reblog chain is a genuine piece of shit (will specify who)

#büllshit (old) for joke posts, I'll figure out another tag to use sometime later

#mail💜 for asks from my beloved mutuals or asks I especially liked

#mail for asks from people I don't know

#...mail for generally weird asks and anon hate

#vent, kinda self-explanatory

#bad music, also kinda self explanatory

#!!!!!!!, for beautiful art and beautiful mutuals :)

#nsfw, anything my boss wouldn't want me to see at work if I had a boss or worked

#@~@ for all the horny shit I'm REALLY into

#boydinner for all the cannibalism, occasionally #girldinner if the context of the post requires it

I usually trigger tag starting with "tw", as in "tw blood", "tw violence", etc. Send me an ask if you want me to trigger tag specific stuff, I really wouldn't mind at all

I should collect those text bands that tell you stuff like "this user is a faggot" and other things like that. This is still a work in progress, I'll Ship of Theseus the hell out of this bitch

[fics-by-em]

Amorous Facades

A wild night out leaves the lives of Jamie Tartt and Ophelia Adams more intertwined than they ever would have imagined.

Will their decision to try and use the situation to their advantage work out in their favour or will they realize that they should have cut their losses when they had the chance?

----------

Note: This is my first foray into Ted Lasso fanfiction so please be kind!

The story starts between episodes five and six of season two and while I will stick as close to the story as possible, things may be changed slightly or added as necessary!

I have a big chunk of the story planned out, but this is the only chapter I have written so far. I couldn't resist posting it to see what people think and gauge the response so please let me know what you think and hopefully there will be more chapters ready soon! :)

----------

Ophelia ‘Lia’ Adams was not a party animal.

She didn’t mind the occasional drink and had even been known to get drunk every once in a while, but going out to clubs every weekend and staying out all night was not her idea of a good time.

However, Lia was a good friend with a tendency to be a little too self-sacrificing and that was how she’d been roped into throwing on a dress that was far too short to be decent and sipping on a tequila shot as she got herself ready for a wild night out.

“You’re supposed to drink it all in one go,” her friend, Katie, teased her as she flopped onto her bed. “It’s a shot, not a cocktail.”

“I know, but shots always make me feel sick.”

“Right,” Katie giggled. “I forgot you’re like twenty-four going on sixty.”

Lia huffed, rolling her eyes in the mirror as she straightened her hair and mumbled out a quiet and half-hearted ‘am not’ in protest.

“You are,” Katie insisted. “But I appreciate that you’re actually coming out tonight so I won’t tease you about it too much.”

“Good, because I can still change my mind,” Lia pointed out. “Where are we going anyway?”

“Club 95!”

The grin that slid onto Katie’s face made her excitement clear, but Lia raised an eyebrow.

“And how are we planning to get in there? Isn’t it basically exclusive to celebrities? People like us usually just spend the night queuing up outside places like that praying that we’ll get in.”

“Not tonight,” Katie practically sang with glee. “Daniel has a connection - through his uncle or something - and he got us all on the guest list.”

As soon as the name left her mouth, Lia’s head snapped around so fast she almost ripped the hair clamped in her straightener right out of her head.

“Daniel’s going to be there? You never told me that!”

“Of course he is,” Katie rolled her eyes. “He’s Mike’s best friend.”

Mike was Katie’s boyfriend and considering the reason they were even going out was to celebrate his birthday, it did make sense that his best friend would be there, but the thought still made Lia’s skin crawl.

Daniel was sleezy. There was no other way to describe him. He consistently made her uncomfortable with unwanted advances and he was completely undeterred by the fact that she rejected him every single time. Of course, he mostly accosted her when they were alone, but Katie and Mike had seen him in action harassing other women so she really had no idea why Mike insisted on being his friend. Whenever she confronted him about it, Mike would shrug and remind her that he’d known him since they were kids before insisting that he wasn’t really that bad and Lia would huff, roll her eyes and eventually decided to just do her best to avoid any events he might be at in the future. She’d so successfully avoided being in his company that she’d almost forgot he existed and she cursed herself for slipping up.

A sigh fell from her lips as she quickly lifted the tequila shot off of the dresser in front of her and finally downed what was left in the tiny glass. She heard Katie let out a cheer at her sudden enthusiasm, but Lia rolled her eyes as she held out the shot glass for a refill.

“There’s no way I can spend an evening in Daniel’s company if I’m sober.”

“Well, then you better pick up the pace,” Katie informed her as she poured them both another shot. “Because they’re going to be here in about half an hour.”

With a groan, Lia felt even the slightest hint of potential excitement for the evening slipping away. Knowing it was too late to back out, she tossed back the shot as soon as it was poured in the hopes that she could get herself feeling fuzzy enough by the time that Daniel was present to find him at least mildly tolerable.

-

When Mike and Daniel first arrived at the flat that Lia and Katie shared, it almost seemed like Daniel had turned over a new leaf in the months since Lia had seen him. He seemed calmer, less conceited and less misogynistic than she remembered him being and she relaxed slightly as she thought that maybe the night could still be fun after all. However, when they were leaving and she bent over to do up the zip on the heeled boots she was wearing and his hand ‘grazed’ her ass, she realized that his apparent change was too good to be true.

She’d jumped away from him with a squeak of displeasure, but he’d simply smirked and brushed it off as an accident caused by the narrow hallway and the close proximity it created. Lia didn’t buy it and flashed him a glare, but Katie’s pleading eyes had her letting it go in an attempt to keep the peace. She reluctantly laughed it off, but any glimmer of hope for civility between them had disappeared. 

And it only got worse when they got to the club.

As promised, Daniel had led them past the long queue of people desperate for a way through the swanky red ropes at the door and straight inside, but as they settled in a booth in a dark back corner, it became clear that Daniel expected more than just a thank you for his efforts. With Katie and Mike tucked together on the opposite side of the table - distracted by each other - the occasional squeeze of Lia’s knee or stroke of her thigh went mostly unnoticed by them despite her growing discomfort and simmering rage. She kept up the steady pace of her drinking, but the nagging thought that it might be better to keep her wits about her was rising in her mind the more handsy that Daniel got. However, when Katie and Mike announced they were heading to the dancefloor and Daniel took advantage of the moment when Lia stood up to follow them to pull her down into his lap, her fury and disgust had her storming towards the bar to get another drink the moment she could drag herself out of his grip.

She wanted to scream. She wanted to loudly and openly demand that Daniel stop groping her and warn him never to touch another woman without her consent again. But it was Mike’s birthday and she also didn’t want to ruin his night. 

So, the scream stayed in her throat, tightening and constricting her ability to breath until she was worried that she might pass out if she didn’t get something to take the edge off of her frustration soon. The busy club and crowded space in front of the bar did nothing to ease her anxiety as it slowed her pursuit of relief, but her restraint was finally broken when she felt an arm slide around her waist and smelt the waft of a cologne that told her the arm belonged to Daniel.

“Stop!” Her voice was firm and the way she ripped herself away from him left no room for misinterpretation, but the smirk on his face told her that he wasn’t going to pay much attention to the request. “I don’t want you to touch me again!”

“Oh, come on, Lia! Don’t be so dramatic. Let me buy you a drink and we can hang out while Mike and Katie are having a dance.”

He moved closer, but Lia stayed strong and held out her arm to keep some distance between them.

“No, I don’t want to do that. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

He moved closer and Lia felt her throat tightening even more as panic gripped her until Daniel suddenly paused his advances and she felt a different arm drape loosely over her shoulders. She tensed as she turned to see who was touching her now and was surprised to see an unfamiliar face.

“Hiya, babe!” The greeting was overly familiar for a stranger, but the soft smile on his face urged her to play along and had her relaxing into his body. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”

“I didn’t know we were coming here.”

It wasn’t entirely a lie as she hadn’t known where they would be spending their evening, but considering she didn’t know the man who had come to her rescue she wouldn’t have been able to tell him if she had. The entire interaction had stopped Daniel in his tracks, but Lia found the complete shock on his face a little offensive. It looked almost as if the idea of another man being interested in her was incomprehensible for him, but the man holding her spoke up again before he could voice his disbelief.

“Is this guy bothering you?”

She opened her mouth to answer, but Daniel found his confidence again and cut her off.

“Are you serious?” He asked, mouth agape. “You know Jamie Tartt the footballer?”

Still slightly unsure of what exactly was happening, Lia shrugged noncommittally, but smiled sweetly at the man - apparently ‘Jamie’ - as she felt him tighten his grip.

“Yeah, mate,” he confirmed, the word sounding more like a threat than a term of endearment. “She knows me really well if you know what I’m sayin’ so I suggest you piss off.”

Daniel hesitated as his eyes flicked between them as if he was puzzling out whether or not he was being fooled and Lia held her breath as she silently prayed that they’d been convincing enough, only relaxing when he finally scoffed and shook his head.

“Whatever, she’s not worth the hassle.”

He didn’t stick around for a reaction to his parting shot, but Jamie waited until he’d stormed off and disappeared into the crowd to let his arm fall from her shoulders.

“Do you know him?”

“Unfortunately.”

A sigh fell from her lips as she nodded her head and despite the loud music blasting out from the dancefloor, she heard the disbelief in his voice loud and clear as he asked his next question.

“Is he your friend?”

“No,” she said firmly, shaking her head. “Not at all.”

“Good, because he seems like an absolute prick.”

His blunt honesty had a giggle slipping past her lips as she nodded in agreement.

“That is a pretty spot on assessment,” she admitted. “So, thank you very much for coming to my rescue, Jamie Tartt the footballer.”

“You’re welcome,” he nodded before flashing her a smirk. “Now, why don’t you buy me a drink? You know, for being so chivalrous.”

It was a bold - borderline cocky - request, but Lia found herself laughing again as there was something about her knight in shining armor that put her at ease. He wasn’t arrogant in the off-putting way that Daniel was, it was more of an endearing self-confidence that he exuded. She didn’t even want to think about what could have happened had he not just stepped in and scared Daniel off so she eagerly and happily led him to the bar to compensate him for his kindness.

-

The biggest downside that Lia found to being an inexperienced drinker was that her low level of exposure to alcohol made her much more susceptible to hangovers than those who were used to drinking copious amounts of liquor. 

And when she woke up the night after Mike’s birthday celebrations, she was immediately reminded of that fact.

Her stomach churned, her head throbbed and before she even opened her eyes it felt like she was feeling worse and worse with every passing moment. The more the fogginess of sleep drained from her mind, the more pains and discomfort she became aware of and she briefly wondered if she’d finally gone too far and might actually die from her hangover as she felt like there was truly no way that she could feel worse than she did in that moment.

That is, until she felt the bed shift as the person who was apparently laying beside her rolled over and let out a groan. A groan that definitely didn’t belong to her female flatmate.

Her eyes snapped open as panic took over and had her heart pounding in her chest. The room she was in was unfamiliar to her. The sheets she was wrapped in were far too expensive to be her own. She realized that she had no idea where she was and as she also began to realize that she couldn’t remember much of the night, her panic began to grow. The memory of her interaction with Daniel haunted her, but even though he was a horrible and misogynistic sleaze, she clung to a shred of hope that he wouldn’t be awful enough to take advantage of her if she was delirious - or do anything himself to get her in such a state.

With her thudding heartbeat echoing in her ears, she slowly rolled over and was instantly flooded with relief.

“Oh, thank god,” she let out the breath she’d been holding. “It’s you.”

Beside her was not the man who’d spent most of the part of the evening that she could recall harassing her, but the man who had saved her from him. His name - Jamie Tartt the footballer - sprang into her head as did a few blurry memories of the start of their evening together, but how she’d ended up in his bed was still a mystery to her.

“Course it’s me,” Jamie huffed, cracking an eye to look at her with a grimace on his face that told her he was feeling much the same as she was. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one,” Lia admitted. “I expected to wake up in my own bed, alone.”

Jamie grunted in response, letting his eye drift shut again as a silence settled between them until Lia worked up the courage to ask the question that was burning in her mind.

“Did we…uh…Did we…you know?”

If she had the energy to be embarrassed then Lia imagined her cheeks would probably be burning from her childish attempt at asking if they’d had sex, but her current hungover state left her unable to care even when Jamie opened his eyes again and flashed her a smirk.

“Did we fuck?” He clarified, waiting for her to nod before he half-heartedly attempted to shrug. “If I’m bein’ honest with ya, I can’t remember. But based on the fact that I still have my pants on and I’m not even under the blanket, I’m gonna say no.”

Another sigh of relief slipped from Lia's lips as he confirmed her suspicions. Her bra and underwear were still firmly in place despite her missing dress so she’d been hopeful that they hadn’t gone too far, but she had to admit that his handsome face and what she could see of his toned body were quite enticing and she couldn’t have blamed herself for giving into the temptation.

“That’s good, especially if we both can’t even remember it.”

Clearly a man of few words after such a heavy night of drinking, Jamie simply hummed in agreement, but as Lia gave up on conversation and let her arm fall over her face to shield her eyes from the sun streaming in through the window, Jamie seemed to find his voice.

“Fuckin’ hell,” he groaned. “And especially if you’re fuckin’ married!”

“What? I’m not married?” Lia dropped her arm back down to the bed as her brow furrowed in confusion, but Jamie quickly lifted it back up to show her the engagement ring and wedding band resting on her ring finger. However, even through the shock and confusion, the ring wrapped around his own finger didn’t escape her notice as her panic returned in full force. “Are you married?”

“No, what are you on about?”

The confusion in Jamie’s face matched her own, but an idea was taking root in Lia’s mind that she just couldn’t shake. It was ridiculous. It was unrealistic. It was something that only happened in movies. But it was starting to seem like the only explanation. Pulling her arm from Jamie’s grip, she moved to sit up as fast as her weary body would allow and she leaned back against the headboard as she racked her exhausted brain for any kind of answer. However, her movement and the shift of the blanket filled the room with the sound of crinkling paper and she noticed a picture resting on the duvet between their legs.

A picture that created almost as many questions as it answered.

A picture of her and Jamie kissing at an altar in what appeared to be their wedding.

“Oh, no, no, no, no,” Lia gasped, reaching for the picture to get a closer look. “This can not be happening.”

Jamie was still looking at her like she’d lost her mind until she held out the picture for him.

“Oh, fuck.” His eyes widened as he took the paper from her hand. “Are we married?”

“No, there’s no way,” Lia insisted, hopelessly wishing her brain was working at full capacity. “There’s no way that’s legal. We would have needed a marriage license and those take time. There’s laws about it, there’s rules you have to follow.”

“Not if you’re rich enough,” Jamie pointed out. “People will let you do anything for enough money.”

“I don’t have any money!”

“Okay, but I do.”

He said it like it was obvious, but it only added to Lia’s confusion.

“Who are you?” She asked, starting to sound as frantic as she felt. “I know you’re Jamie Tartt the footballer, but what does that mean?”

“It means I’m Jamie Tartt and a footballer,” he rather unhelpfully explained. “I play for AFC Richmond, like, professionally.”

“So, you’re basically like a celebrity?”

“I guess so, yeah. To some people.”

“And you have the money to bribe your way into a drunken, last minute marriage?”

“Probably,” Jamie shrugged. “Can’t say that I’ve ever tried.”

“How are you so calm about this?” The question made her exasperation clear, but she was panicking and his nonchalant demeanor was getting under her skin. “We’re married, Jamie! This is a nightmare.”

“First of all, that’s offensive,” he informed her, tossing the picture back down on the bed. “And I’m too fucking hungover to care. We don’t even know if it’s real.”

“Okay, but this,” Lia held her hand up in front of his face to remind him of her rings. “Makes it seem pretty real.”

“I dunno,” Jamie smirked, grabbing her wrist to stop her from moving her hand away. “Because if I was actually gonna propose, it wouldn’t be with a ring that cheap.”

“And surely it would be to someone whose name you actually know.”

“Course I know your name,” Jamie insisted. His tone was indignant, but as Lia patiently waited for him to elaborate, he quickly caved as he let go of her hand. “Alright, so maybe I can’t remember it right now, but I probably knew it last night.”

Lia stared at him for a moment before flopping back against the pillow and letting out a sigh as she raised a hand to rub at her temples in an attempt to soothe her pounding headache.

“It’s Lia,” she informed him. “This is crazy. What are we going to do?”

“Take a nap?” His suggestion was met with a huff of protest and a request for him to take it seriously, but he argued that he was. “I have training later, I need to sleep this off.”

It was a hard point to argue with when a nap did sound so appealing, but the uncertainty of the situation had Lia feeling overwhelmed and in her fragile state, her emotions bubbled to the surface.

“Please, Jamie,” Lia practically whispered, blinking back the tears that were welling up in her eyes. “We need to figure this out.”

The emotion in her voice caught Jamie’s attention and he flicked his eyes up to meet hers. There was concern on his face, but it was clear that he was fighting some kind of internal battle - probably between whether he should do something to ease her worries or stick with his plan to take a nap - until after a moment of deep thought, he let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“Alright, but can we at least stop to get a coffee on the way?”

“On the way where?”

“To Richmond,” he clarified, dragging himself out of bed and chivalrously passing Lia her dress that was on the floor by his feet. “I know some people who can probably help us.”

“Oh, perfect, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Jamie’s words were said with a sigh that made it clear to Lia just how much of a struggle it had been for him to get out of bed, but as he disappeared into the bathroom and she climbed out of bed herself, the effort that such a simple movement took made her realize that Jamie might have been on to something when he suggested they take a nap.

-

“Well, hello, Mr. and Mrs. Tartt.”

The greeting came from a tall, blonde woman who - from her seat behind a large desk - appeared to be the owner of the office Jamie had taken her to. Their entrance had also caught the attention of the other woman sitting by the desk and the dark haired man beside her. When they’d arrived at the football stadium, Lia had worried that Jamie had simply been trying to shut her up by saying he had someone who could help them and had instead brought her with him to the training he’d mentioned earlier with the expectation that she’d find her own way home, but she was reassured that it still seemed like he had some kind of plan.

“How do you know about that?”

Jamie pulled two more chairs over to the desk, gesturing for Lia to sit down as the woman who’d greeted them pointed to the newspaper in front of her. There on the front page was a copy of the picture they’d found when they woke up and a snappy headline about Tartt being off the market.

“Oh my god,” she groaned. “This is so bad. I still can’t believe that it’s even legal for a bar to host last minute weddings for incredibly intoxicated people!”

“Luckily, I don’t think it is,” the woman informed her before adding an introduction. “I’m Rebecca Welton, owner of AFC Richmond, and this is Keeley Jones, our head of marketing and Roy Kent, one of our coaches.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lia murmured. “I’m Lia Adams, probably one of the most embarrassed people in the country right now.”

“It’s alright,” Keeley assured her with a warm smile. “We all do stupid shit sometimes, everyone will forget all about it in a couple weeks.”

Rebecca nodded in agreement before adding, “So, what can we do for you both?”

“I thought you’d know what to do,” Jamie shrugged. “Help us figure out if it’s legal and all that.”

“I can reach out to some people that should be able to help,” Rebecca agreed, picking up her phone and quickly typing away. “But I can almost guarantee you that whatever ceremony you had last night was not legally binding.”

Relief washed over Lia as she sank back into her chair, hoping that Rebecca’s assurances would prove to be true.

“What’s the story with you two anyway?” Keeley asked. “How did you meet?”

“Last night at a bar,” Jamie informed them before smugly adding, “I saved her from some guy that was being a prick.”

“You only just met last night and decided to get married that fast? That’s so romantic!”

Keeley’s use of the word ‘romantic’ wasn’t exactly the one that Lia would have chosen, but Roy - who had been simply watching them intensely the whole time - spoke up before she could argue.

“Well, it makes sense,” he scoffed. “If she spent any longer in his company than she never would have agreed to marry him.”

“Shut up, old man,” Jamie shot back. “Don’t be such a dick.”

Anger flashed across Roy’s face, but a ping from Rebecca’s phone distracted everyone before he could answer.

“Ah, just what I thought,” she smiled as she read the message. “There is no way that you are actually legally married and my contacts found no trace of an application for a marriage license under either of your names.”

Hearing once and for all that they hadn’t made too much of a mess with their drunken wild adventure was almost enough to have Lia squealing with glee, but the headache that was still lingering in her poor, dehydrated brain had her settling for an ear to ear grin.

“Wow, thank you so much for your help. That was such a quick response.”

“I only work with the best,” Rebecca informed her, flashing her a wink. “So, you’re both free to go your separate ways.”

“Well, hang on a minute,” Jamie protested. “This could actually be good for me.”

“How so?”

The shock was clear in Lia’s voice, but as she looked around the room it seemed her confusion was shared by almost everyone there.

“Well, I have a bit of a bad reputation,” he admitted, providing Lia with more questions than answers. “And this might make people start giving me the benefit of the doubt. You know, if I’m a family man.”

There was a smirk on his face, but Lia wasn’t entirely sure that she liked what it seemed like he was suggesting as she pressed for more information.

“What kind of a bad reputation do you have?”

“People think that I’m a bit of a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

“Because you are a cocky prick who sleeps around a lot.”

The interjection came from Roy, but Jamie kept his cool as he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, but I’m tryin’ to be better.”

“And what?” Lia questioned, her skepticism clear in her voice. “You want to marry me to help convince people that you’ve changed?”

“Not, like, for real,” he assured her. “But it’s already all over the papers, we can just let people think that it’s real.”

The suggestion had a giggle falling from Lia’s lips as she was so sure that there was no way he was serious until Keeley jumped into the conversation.

“It would actually probably help Jamie out a lot,” she reluctantly agreed. “It would be good for people to see that there’s another side to him.”

The shock that she felt hearing those words leave Keeley’s mouth had her so stunned that she was unable to formulate any kind of response. However, she was grateful that as she sat with her jaw dropped, trying to wrap her mind around what was happening, Rebecca - who appeared to be just as aghast as she was - chimed in with some sense.

“You’re not actually serious, are you?” She questioned. “How on earth could you sell it? He was just galavanting around on TV bragging about his sexual escapades, no one will believe this is some romantic love match.”

The longer the conversation went on, the more questions Lia had about the man sitting beside her, but before she could question what exactly Rebecca was referring to, Jamie had a solution to the problem she’d brought up.

“Could say that we were on a break,” he shrugged. “But she forgave me when I got home. I’ll even admit to running back with me tail between me legs, say that I only went on the show because I was so heartbroken.”

To Lia’s horror, it seemed that Jamie’s plan eased Rebecca’s doubts as her face shifted from disgust into something that seemed much more understanding.

“Okay, wait,” she spoke up, finally finding her voice. “I have a few questions about all this. Like, first of all, why were you bragging about your sexual escapades on TV?”

“I was on that island dating show a few months ago.”

She knew the one he was talking about and she cringed, knowing the type of people who went on that kind of show and the type of antics they got up to.

“And now you’re trying to rebrand yourself to change the public's perception of you?”

“I’m trying to be a better person,” he clarified. “And it would be nice if everyone didn’t assume that I’m still a prick.”

Roy scoffed, earning a quick ‘shh’ from Keeley, but Lia had to admit that she was leaning more towards sharing his skepticism. She liked to give people the benefit of the doubt and was a firm believer that even good people sometimes made bad decisions and were deserving of a second chance, but if it had only been a few months since he was on some trashy reality TV show then she was unsure of how much he could have changed in such a short amount of time.

“That’s admirable,” she relented. “But why do you want me to help you make that happen?”

“Because there’s already pictures of the two of you together all over the papers,” Keeley reminded her. “It would be an easier sell than if we found someone else to help out.”

“But none of you know anything about me. I could be a serial killer for all you know.”

“Are you?”

The question came from Jamie and the genuine concern on his face would have been amusing under different circumstances.

“No, but if I was then I probably wouldn’t admit it,” she pointed out. “It just seems crazy to me that you’re so willing to jump into some kind of arrangement with me when all you know about me is that sometimes I get drunk and make incredibly irresponsible decisions like getting ‘married’ to a handsome stranger.”

She saw a smirk sliding onto Jamie’s face that only had her annoyance growing, but she was quickly distracted by Keeley sheepishly waving her phone in the air.

“I’ve been creeping your social media while we’ve been sat here,” she admitted. “Obviously you could have some deep dark secrets that no one knows, but from what I can tell you seem like quite a sweetheart and you’re really fucking adorable.”

The compliment had Lia’s cheeks heating up, but the insanity of what was being suggested still weighed on her. Maybe in the world of celebrities - even minor ones as many people would class professional footballers to be - it was a normal thing to fake a relationship to sway public opinion, but in Lia’s world that wasn’t something that happened every day and she felt like any moment everyone would burst out laughing and shout ‘gotcha!’ like she was on some kind of prank show.

“You don’t have to agree to anything if you’re not comfortable,” Rebecca assured her, picking up on her hesitation. “This is a completely insane request and everyone will completely understand if it’s too much to ask.”

Lia got the feeling that her words were just as much a reminder for the people waiting for her response as they were to reassure her, but as ridiculous as the situation was, she had to admit that she was intrigued. There was nothing else going on in her romantic life and despite the red flag of Jamie’s reputation apparently being in dire need of fixing, he seemed like a nice guy and they’d had fun the night before from what she could remember. Plus, she’d be lying if she said he wasn’t attractive and there were worse things in life than pretending some hot, rich footballer was your husband.

“Well, what would be in it for me?” she asked after a moment of thought. “You get the benefit of having your reputation boosted, but what do I get out of this?”

“I can make it worth your while.” Jamie’s offer was said with a wink and smirk, but despite the flush of heat that washed over Lia at the thought of what he was alluding to, she rolled her eyes and waited for him to make what he clearly thought was a more enticing offer. “Alright, I’ll pay ya.”

“Like I’m some kind of escort?”

“No! I just meant that I’ll take care of you!”

“Oh, like a sugar daddy?”

“No! That’s not what I mean. You’re twisting my words!”

Lia was about to protest and argue that she was simply trying to understand what he was offering and insist that she was not comfortable with any kind of money being exchanged as if he was hiring her to be his wife, but Rebecca - who Lia was finding to be an ever present voice of wisdom - stepped in to help them find a more productive way to resolve the issue.

“Lia, is there anything in particular that you would like to get out of the arrangement?”

It was a much more direct way to figure it out instead of Jamie offering her things she was going to turn down, but it was such a big question that she wasn’t really sure how to answer. She shrugged as she racked her brain for some way to make the situation mutually beneficial until eventually an idea popped into her head.

“My dad owns a bookstore,” she informed them, a flash of excitement running through her as she realized that there might actually be a positive side to the mess she’d gotten herself into. “It’s just a small local one, but he’s had it for years - since before I was born - and now with all the big chains he’s finding it harder to compete. Maybe if there was some way for Jamie to subtly promote it and get a few extra customers in the door then that could be really helpful.”

“There’s one big problem with that,” Roy informed her, a smirk sliding onto his face. “No one’s ever gonna believe that Jamie Tartt knows how to read.”

“Oh, piss off,” Jamie spat as Keeley warned him to be quiet and keep any unhelpful opinions to himself. “I can so read and I’m always happy to support local businesses.”

It was clear from the strain on his face that Roy had more thoughts he was dying to share, but a stern look from Keeley had him keeping quiet as Lia sat up a little straighter and tried to control her newfound enthusiasm for their plan.

“That would really help me out. So, if you’re willing to do that then I am willing to pretend that I am Mrs. Tartt,” she agreed. “But we’ll have to set up some ground rules.”

It was Jamie’s turn to look hesitant and suspicious as he cautiously nodded his head.

“Okay, let’s hear it.”

“You won’t be able to sleep with anyone,” she informed him. “People talk and if you’re already going to let them all think I was stupid enough to take you back after you ditched me to go be a whore on TV then I won’t do if it you’re going to let them think I was stupid enough to marry you even though you’re cheating on me.”

“I didn’t ditch you to be a whore on TV, I ditched you and then I was a whore on TV.”

“Semantics,” Lia rolled her eyes. “That’s my number one rule so if you’re not okay with being celibate then I can’t do this.”

Jamie looked almost physically pained by the idea, but after a moment of internal debate, he reluctantly agreed.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Anything else?”

They spent the next half an hour debating the logistics of their arrangement. Neither side had too many demands other than Lia’s request for him to stop seeing other people and Jamie requesting for her to move in with him in case photographers were sniffing around, but they also had to figure out what their official story would be. In the end, they came up with two versions. For the general public, they would confirm that their late night drunken wedding was simply a joke and a bit of fun, but admit that they’d been together for a while and had a small, private wedding a few weeks before. For close friends and family who would have been in attendance at said wedding and would therefore know it wasn’t true and for Jamie’s teammates - some of whom were present at for their drunken nuptials according to the pictures in the paper - they would admit that they were just pretending to be married to brighten up Jamie’s reputation, but would tell everyone that they’d been dating since Jamie returned from his excursion into reality TV.

Lia was still struggling to wrap her mind around the situation, but everyone had assured her that she could bail at any point if it became too much so she was willing to give it a shot - especially if it meant helping out her dad’s business. By the time they were done discussing all the ins and outs, she was very much ready for a nap and not at all ready to face the millions of texts that she knew were waiting for her from the near constant buzzing of her phone. Jamie and Roy had to get ready for training, but Lia was very grateful that Jamie took a little detour to walk her back out to his car.

“I can take the bus,” she assured him as he tried to hand her his keys. “Or how will you get home?”

“Someone will give me a ride,” he insisted, jangling the keys until she tentatively took them from his hand. She mumbled out a ‘thanks’ so softly that she wasn’t even sure he would have heard until he replied. “It’s the least I can do after what you’re doing for me. I promise I’m not as bad as you’re probably imagining. Or, I’m tryin’ not to be.”

There was something about the vulnerability in his voice that tugged on Lia’s heartstrings. He was basically a stranger to her and she didn’t know his story, but it was clear to her that he truly was trying to be a better person despite whatever he’d done in his past. She was fully intending to Google him as soon as she got home just to make sure that the sins he was trying to atone for weren’t anything as extreme as murder or any kind of violence, but there was something about him that made her want to give him the benefit of the doubt and there was obviously something that she’d seen in him the night before that made her like him enough to marry him.

“I believe you,” she smiled. “But we can talk about it later. Good luck with your training, I hope your hangover doesn’t hold you back too much.”

Jamie scoffed out a laugh as they both knew that he wouldn’t be in top form that afternoon, but then he surprised her as he leaned in to press a kiss on her cheek. She stood stunned even after he’d pulled away, shocked by the comforting familiarity of the gesture, but as Jamie opened the door of his car for her, she spotted a few of his teammates watching them from the pitch and realized why he’d done it.

“Oh, I don’t know your address,” she reminded him as she climbed into the car. “Can you text it to me?”

“I don’t have your number.”

Lia laughed at the absurdity of the situation - they were supposed to be married yet they barely knew any basic information about each other - and rattled off her phone number as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Once everything was sorted and Lia knew where she was heading after she went home to pick up her things, she said goodbye and headed out of the parking lot, but paused to blow a kiss out the window and laughed as Jamie dramatically caught it.

They had a relationship to sell after all - as he’d just reminded her - and she was relieved to see that they might be able to have a little fun along the way.

-

chapter two

[venu-5]

DBF!Keegan Drabble

18+ MDNI !!!!

Married!DBF! Keegan P. Russ, Smut, Attempt at GN!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes, Penetration, Cheating, Non-Verbal consent, Slight Pervert!Keegan, Use of the word 'Hole'

Notes: PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK IVE NEVER WRITTEN FANFICTION SO PLS LET ME KNOW HOW TO IMPROVE WITH GENDER NEUTRAL WRITING!!! AND IF ITS FORMATED WEIRD IM SORRY IM POSTING FROM MY PHONE :3 and if y'all like this I will continue writing drabbles and will post them from my laptop and i will even do my best to make my page look all pretty and organized !!

Married!DBF!Keegan who sneaks off to your room with the excuse of using the restroom during BBQs, knowing that every soul in the house was outside. He'd use the bathroom closest to your room, getting 'lost' on the way despite knowing your childhood home like the back of his hand. He knows that you have a bad habit of leaving your closet door open, it was basically screaming at him to go inside, you can't blame him. He'd find your panty drawer, taking the raunchiest panty and stuffing it down his pants before he actually went to the restroom.

Married!DBF!Keegan who pulls out your panties and sits on the side of the bathtub, sniffing them, trying to find even a hint of your scent that could've been left behind even after being washed. Oh but someone seems to have blessed him today, you showered, forgetting to take the hamper of dirty clothes to the laundry room. He digs around, finding your panties still holding onto your sleeping shorts. They both had your scent, he hit the jackpot.

Married!DBF!Keegan heard your footsteps, he memorized the sound of your steps, heading towards your room, the sound of your door slamming shut followed. It was a common occurrence that your father and you would argue any chance you got, it always happened when guests were around and he knew your father wasn't one to try to apologize.

Married!DBF!Keegan could basically moan as his fantasizes were falling into the palm of his hand, the ability to make them come true also laying there. He knew it was wrong, his wife was outside with your father and your mother but he couldn't stop himself from opening your door and locking it, sitting on your bed as you laid face down on the bed.

Married!DBF!Keegan had a million thoughts racing through his mind, his hands itching to reach out and grab your ass, he wanted to give into his thoughts but he'd risk scaring you off. Instead of just grabbing you, he talked, spoke in that honey dripping, deep voice that had you fantasizing about him in your most shameful moments in the deepest moments of your night.

“Whatd he do now?” Married!DBF!Keegan took the opportunity to lay a hand on your lower back, moving his hand up and down your back as you try your hardest to not cry, telling him what your dad did. He coos and reassures you, telling you that you're not stupid, not an idiot like your father was telling you. You move your head to lay on his thigh and what a bad move that was.

Married!DBF!Keegan takes this as an opportunity to slide a hand under your shirt, stroking your skin as you kept your head on his thigh. He had played it safe by keeping his hand on your back but then he slid his hand to the side, squeezing your hip and his fingers slipping underneath the band of your spandex shorts. He hears you ask him what he's doing, just a bit above a whisper and he tells you ‘I want to help you forget about it.’ and with such a good offer, who were you to deny it.

Married!DBF!Keegan takes your small nod as you telling him to continue, his hand moving to your ass and grabbing it, he was getting harder, he couldn't believe that he was grabbing your ass. He needed more and knowing that he could have you around his fingers wasn't enough, he needed to be inside of you. He stood up and sat on the back of your thighs so fast that you weren't able to keep him in your line of sight.

Married!DBF!Keegan began humping your ass, your bed was creaking slightly but that didn't matter to him, everyone was outside. Such sweet words spilling out his mouth, calling you his, his sweetheart, his sweet young thing. He yanked down your shorts and he didn't prep you, didn't stretch your hole out, no, he just pushed in as he held a hand over your mouth. It hurt, of course it did, he was big and thick, he couldn't let his hips touch your ass like he wanted to or else he'd hurt you, he couldn't hurt his pretty thing :( not more than he already has!

Married!DBF!Keegan was shushing you, stroking your head as he whispered sweet things into your ear to get you to calm down. It was a bit longer than he anticipated but your hole was welcoming him now, his thrusting was welcomed by your yummy moans. He could hear the way you'd whimper when he'd start pulling out to thrust himself back into you. You felt so full, he was so big. Your thighs pressed together as he kept fucking your pretty hole, pressing his chest against your back. He had his elbow on the bed as his other hand stayed on top of your mouth to make sure you weren't being too loud.

Married!DBF!Keegan began to compare you to his wife, how she wasn't as tight as you, your hole felt so much better around him than her cunt. He pinched your nipples, basically shaking as he heard your muffled yelps against the palm of his hand. He picked up the pace, making sure to not slam his hips against your ass so his big cock wouldn't hurt your unprepped hole, he didn't want to hit deeper than you were used to. He was so considerate, telling you that he had to cum inside of you so that he wouldn't stain your bedsheets or your guys’ clothes.

Married!DBF!Keegan squeezes your hip as he cums, not wanting to moan or be louder than he was, realizing that the bed had been creaking the entire time. He cursed and felt his cum keep squirting into your hole, trying to listen and see if anyone had come inside the house while he was fucking you. You clenched around him and that was enough to pull a groan, it was unexpected but it vibrated from his throat.

Married!DBF!Keegan pressed a kiss against your shoulder, praising you for taking his big cock and that you were so good. He couldn't stop the smile that pulled at his lips, he had fucked you, he still had so many more things that he wanted to do with you but he couldn't do them now, not in your fathers home. It wasn't until after he pulled out of your now used hole that he began to think of other ways that he could've fucked you, he could've shoved your face into the mattress to keep you quiet, that way you wouldn't have to worry about keeping quiet. He could've made you ride him, made you suck him off and he could've fucked your throat.

He had so many regrets running through his head but he'd have to save those ideas for another time. He hoped you'd be willing to keep fucking him, he watched you catch your breath as he pulled out, hearing your quiet whine as he did. He saw the way you lifted your hips, shaking, to pull up your shorts and panties. Your legs were shaking, god it flew over his head to ask if he made you cum but he was already out of your room when he remembered, back in the restroom as he fixed himself up.

[atiyasnake]

Yall, I gotta ask, exactly just how normal is it for you for stories to be on your mind 24/7?

Like for me, it what I think about always. I'm thinking about this fic, that fic, and a possible new fic. I'm thinking about a prompt or rough outline I created a doc for almost 2 years ago or 2 weeks ago.

I'm thinking about what the next chapter is about or how I want the plot to progress. Or that one moment I've been gnawing on like a dog with a bone.

I drive to work and while making sure it's safe to switch lanes, I think about how X character will deal with the next situation I'll put them in.

In-between work phone calls and tasks, I'm itching to open my doc and write a few lines. Reread my outline, maybe rewrite a draft. Even though I only have access to them on my phone and I can't type on that, cause it honest to God has caused me pain in my hands and -like I said- I'm at work.

Even right now, I'm at work. It's an hour until we close and I'm the only one working the front desk hoping no one calls cause I've having a good time daydreaming about how I want one of my stories to go.

In my jumbled up mess inside my head, I'm twisting and turning around all the components of a story. What POV will it be, how the dialogue will go, and what is the next thing I need to write? I'm switching bullet points and little snippets of notes I've written on a sticky note or typed on my phone.

I'm trying to piece it all together into something I can and want to write. It's all I think about.

It's not just fanfiction either. I have my own original stuff. Stories I'd love to write, would love to read.

I think about rewriting short stories I've written in writing club in my notebook or typed up on my computer. I imagine scenarios to put characters I haven't even created in.

I don't know their names or the color of their eyes, but I know they'll fight with a smile and blood staining their teeth. I'll know that their friend will run their fingers through their hair. I'll know that they don't like it when people yell and are bad at cooking.

When I go to sleep, I would basically tell myself a story. It used to just be scenarios with some unknown character, but now it is filled with my brainstorming, wondering how things could go in my stories.

Especially my fics, since those are stories I know people actually read. It's crazy to think about.

There's a person, more than one, who read something I wrote. Who decided they liked it and would like to continue reading. It's absolutely mind boggling to even think of one, nevermind a dozen, a hundred, a thousand people have read something I wrote.

I think about them.

I wonder what they think of the words I strung together. What image comes into their head when they read them? I wonder what my words have made them feel.

I honestly can't describe just how much stories mean to me. I think about them all the time. From the moment I wake up till the moment I go to bed.

They're all I ever think about.

I don't know how someone can talk to me about stories without feeling as if their chest was about to burst. As if they're scrambling to find the proper words and could only yell and shake their hands with how it makes them feel.

How can you not want to scream, laugh, and cry when you think about stories and all that they are, all that they could be?

How can I just go on about my day knowing I have access to thousands of stories, am sharing a few of my own, but also will never know thousands of other ones that have yet to be created?

I honestly think I live for stories. Whether it was to read them, write them, or just think about them. I think they might be one of the reasons I'm still alive today.

Which funnily enough, is a story of its own.

[kebriones]

I am here once again hello

I am so terribly hyperficated in Alcibiades I have not stopped thinking about him

I just really don't know how/what I can read or consume that in some way involves him and you're my best bet, please enlighten me on your knowledge you seem to possess

HELLO HELLO

alright well, I will include some reading links, as many as I can, even the basic ones, since I don't know what you've already read or not:

The symposium (alcibiades arrives at page 28/35 of the pdf) sorry for the bad quality, if you have trouble reading it I can send a different one, this is simply a translation I personally rather like

his biography by plutarch mega important reading

(not linked but if you're feeling really hungry, get a copy of thucydides and go looking for all the alcibiades mentions in there. best of luck. Thucydides is probably the single most accurate account we have of alcibiades)

The first Alcibiades (it's a proper platonic dialogue between socrates and alcibiades.)

This whole book about him which I believe you know about because i see you have liked my previous post about it but I am linking it just in case.

The speech of Alcibiades by martha nussbaum, I personally find this extremely enjoyable to read, i recommend having read his bit from the symposium to understand what's going on.

okay from here on out these are just from my bookmarks and I don't remember which are good and which are not, feel free to dig through them as you please (the jstor stuff require you to make a free acount to read them) (I also recommend having read the symposium and plutarch at least to understand most of what these are talking about) apologies in advance for any that may not actually be available without uni access.

Article on JSTOR about his relationship to some ancient plays

This article it starts talking about alcibiades on page 6/13 of the pdf

this short text which i thought had some interesting ideas (but the website is bright yellow so maybe you can use some settings to turn it to balck and white because at least to me this feels horrible on the eyes)

pretty big article about eros and tyranny which discusses alcibiades and plato, i don't remember much of it

short text about his military/political career

jstor thingy about him and socrates in the symposium

yet another pdf about alcibiades and socrates

alcibiades and the failure of socratic rationalism or smth i don't remember again

this isn't a text, it's pictures of his daughter's grave. thought i'd include it

french film of the first alcibiades doesn't have subtitles and it's wierdly shot but hey if you're deep in obsession maybe it doesn't matter

more about erotic tyranny and alcibiades uwu

yet another jstor article about him I don't remember

alcibiades and aristophanes' birds if the other article about him being related to plays wasn't unhinged enough for you

a study in violets cool title, it's about alcibiades

the loves of alcibiades, one more jstor article

other random article about alcibiades

the socratic turn to alcibiades I believe you need an academia.edu account (free i think) to read this

then there's two novels which I think aren't too bad to read, "the last of the wine" which isn't focused on alcibiades but has a few scenes with him and is overall very well written and features a really good set of protagonists imo

the second novel is "the flowers of adonis" and while it's not as great overall as a book as the last of the wine is, this one is actually focused on alcibiades. Only problem is that he isn't as bisexual as he should be in this but you can treat it as fanfiction and somewhat ignore that maybe? idk, it has some nice bits in my opinion.

speaking fo fanfiction there's a couple very good ones on ao3 (not talking about my own, there's one in particular that's a single chapter about him and aristophanes that is just UGH SO GOOD)

there's also this short sci-fi-esque story about alcibiades which is quite nice: https://web.archive.org/web/20141225183208/http://www.asimovs.com/Nebulas03/gods.shtml

and last but not least if you've made it this far, I have the only podcast thingy that I remember not having as huge inaccuracies and BS as most other ones i've heard. I still recommend having already read plutarch's life of alcibiades beforehand but if anyone reading this post doesn't wanna do reading and prefers to listen to something for starters, this is a good start, as far as I remember. you can listen to it HERE I will also give it a listen as i'm working and will edit this post if I find any issues with it.

HAVE FUN :D

[yarameijer]

Hey! So I know I’ve written once before but I’m really interested to know: what is your literary background? When did you start writing, and do you see yourself having a career in writing anytime soon?

Also… is the IE love coming from childhood nostalgia, or is it just me 🤓

Hello hello! I started writing in 2015, I'd just turned fifteen at the time, I think? I'd only recently started reading fanfiction and was pretty obsessed with Inazuma Eleven GO, and honestly I was kinda disappointed in the stories I found on FFN (basically 75% of it was romance one-shots, and barely anything on my favorite characters or anything that was longer than 5K) so my solution to that was to, uh, start writing things myself?

Mind you, I had zero writing experience, I was very bad at English, and I knew next to nothing about writing in general, so my first story was pretty bad. Very quickly abandoned it and started on Stand, which was probably where I first really discovered my love of writing. Ended up getting advice from a few other writers on FFN and through, I guess sheer stubbornness, I improved? Especially in Stand you can see how much I improve throughout the chapters. At that point I'd read quite a lot of fanfiction in other fandoms, discovered a love for time travel stories, and found myself heavily disappointed that there were no Inazuma Eleven time travel stories.

So I, once again, decided that the obvious solution was to write one myself, and that's how Accidental Reverse was born.

So yeah, that's about it! No literary background beyond fanfiction writing whatsoever. If it comes to stories, though, it's a bit different - I've always had a very active imagination and apparently could spend hours by myself playing with my toys and making up whole stories as a kid (in hindsight, I realize they were quite dramatic so that at least hasn't changed). I also have suffered from motion sickness my entire life, and we went on vacation every year by car, so ever since I was small (think 6-7) whenever I had to spend a whole day in the car I couldn't read or draw and instead started fantasizing about cartoons or movies I watched and making up stories for said cartoons. Sound familiar? XD

As for a career in writing, no clue. I'm kinda bad at writing original stories, don't have the patience for introducing a setup for a world or unknown characters, but I've got some ideas for a book series that I'd like to write but probably won't for the next decade. Who knows, maybe someday I will.

This turned out a whole lot longer than I expected, whoops. As always, I can't keep things short. Sorry for the info dump XD

Also yes, IE love is nostalgia but also just because the show is so ridiculous and fun. The plot, no other sports anime has such ridiculous plot lines and I love it. It's so chaotic and fun.