#this is bad idk
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DAENERYS TARGARYEN APPRECIATION WEEK 2023
Day 1 -> Favorite Book/Chapter; ADWD - DAENERYS X
Freya Allan as Daenerys Targaryen
#asoiafedit#gotdaenerystargaryen#danyweek2023#daenerys targaryen#asoiaf#daenerys targaryen: magic silver haired fire elf#mine#gif#this is bad idk#dont have the energy to make it more consistent
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Y’all want Taylor Swift to be gay so bad but you won’t even write femslash about her
#I was curious so I looked it up 1038 fics on ao3 tagged Taylor Swift and f/f#like I’m not necessarily encouraging people to go out and write rpf#but it’s wild that arguably the biggest musical artist right now who has a huge community speculating about her sexuality has so little fic#like this isn���t a good or bad thing I just think it’s interesting#idk I’m not actually a swiftie like that#like I listen to her music and keep up generally with what she’s doing but I’m not really in the fandom#so there might be something I’m missing
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meditations on first philosophy (1641) - rene descartes
"who give a shit"
#rene descartes#ok#so this is a reference to that post#bc i cant stop saying it#sorry i havent been active#ive been working on an opera#and have been having like p bad health issues#but its ok#learning to crochet a minecraft frog#idk if itll be like any good#whatever life is love anyway#blackout poem#blackout poetry#author#book#poetry
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this literally never stops being funny like dog they made starship troopers with the Baby's First Satire cranked up to 11 and these people are still fucking dumbfounded that the creators don't share their politics
#idk if anyone who follows me plays helldivers 2 but trust me#when it comes to “political commentary in video games”#helldivers 2 does everything short of putting “YOU ARE FIGHTING FOR THE BAD GUYS” in every loading sequence#helldivers#helldivers 2
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AAAHHH
#fanart#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#art#sketch#ryomen sukuna#i gotta die bc the colors look so bad on my phone#and theres like a black blob there idk why. but im too lazy to fix it#my csp was freezing every second
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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would you download a gundam?
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birds of a feather
#totk#loz#link#tulin#totk spoilers#my comics#my art#it is almost 8 in the goddamn morning and my hand is cramping SO bad but if i didnt make this i was going to die#anyways link's signs: page 2 panel 1 he's signing “danger” and page 2 panel 4 he's signing “important/significant”#also idr where i got the “hair braiding is significant to the rito” probably from the reva/ink i used to read back in the day#(censored so it doesnt show up in the tags just in case lol)#theyre everything to me. if you couldn't tell#they have a brother dynamic 2 me but its open to interpretation#idk wtf happened tonight. two long comics from me back to back is absurd#broke this one up also so its more viewable too#sparks art
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Rewatching Arcane
#arcane#league of legends#viktor#jayce talis#my art#AAAH YES THE HEXTECH DREAM#jayvik#the most stupid thing mel medarda did in her life#mel i love you but that was a REALLY BAD DECISION LMAO#A prayer for Viktor F#A prayer for Jayce the Council hate his autism idk
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Husk and Alastor have a battle of wits, drinking, and jazz. AKA how I think Husk found out about Al’s situation.
Music: JK Sax’s cover of Tones and I “Dance Monkey”
I’m not a talented enough musician so I couldn’t make the music that was in my head lol but dance monkey fits pretty well.
Alastor: Husker, is that all you got? Hahaha, take another shot!
Husk: You ain’t on a sadist’s leash, you can’t know-it-all. Can’t know what I been through, if you ain’t at a beck and call!
Alastor: Ha! I win this spat with ease, looks like you’ve hit the wall. Cuz Jokes on you, I know that too, I know it all!
Husk: You…what?
Al: Perhaps, I’ve had too much to drink this time. Do yourself a favor, banish this night from your mind.
Husk: U-understood.
Al: Hm, good.
#hazbin hotel#fanimatic#alastor#husk#hazbin hotel fanart#I looooooved drawing drunk alastor soooo much#idk if we’ll ever be able to see it in canon but I want it so bad#I just can’t imagine that he’d have a heart to heart with husk#because he’s heartless#the info must have come out of reckless one upmanship#that’s what I think#my doods#liked by creator#radiohusk
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Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??
As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue
the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD
He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.
like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...
The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"
and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it
does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING
like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow
For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat
Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation
Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with
Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)
But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time
Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell
Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch
idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room
#hazbin spoilers#hazbin hotel#lucifer#lucifer morningstar#analysis#dissociation#look idk what to tell you all#I watched the episode and everything makes so much more sense#when you realize he's only intaking like 50-60% of the conversations#he's not bad at listening his brain is literally preventing him from getting everything#literally I've been there#the difference between him and me tho#is that he can't show it#he's the king of hell#he has to bluff his way through conversations#but yeah literally rewatch the episode with this in mind#and watch him reply to the things he DID catch#anyways#NEW BLORBO????#who'd've thought I would go into Hazbin Hotel#and come out with freaking LUCIFER as my favorite character#I love him#he's so sad
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Forgive me.
#I built a wall and staged a baby murder in Minecraft to make this#epic the musical#odysseus epic#the odyssey#the horse and the infant#just a man#epic the musical fanart#art#fan art#digital art#procreate art#artists of tumblr#rustic space doodles#cw baby death#?#I feel like this DEFINITELY needs warnings but uh#idk what they are so if I miss one#my bad y’all#cw blood#cw war#cw murder
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DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)
Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:
~
" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.
They glanced at each other and shrugged.
Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.
Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "
~
Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#batfam#batman#danny phantom#danny fenton#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne#bruce is terrible at feelings#the whole thing comes to a head with the bat kids hosting an intervention in the bat cave#maybe like a five plus one set up?#each time one of the bat kids thought bruce was discriminating against danny#and one time where they realized 'no#he is just that awkward'#dealer's choice if alfred thinka bruce is discriminating or not too#thinking this is either before adopting duke or not long after#because its one thing to be a light and shadow meta and another to be as OP as Danny is#also i'm thinking they don't know danny is a halfa#like they think he's just an unfortunately useful meta that got trafficked#could also have danny encountering his new siblings in and out of uniform knowing who they are without them revealing it for extra fun#idk#couldn't get this out of my head#my original post#fic prompt#story prompt#prompt#please guys i have no spoons but i want to read it so bad#🥺
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This fine fellow just knocked politely on my door. What do I do?
#walrus#fairy#walrus fairy#walrus fairy poll#idk I was possessed by the thought that I could and didn't stop to think if I should#this is intentionally bad photoshop let me have this XD
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i think everyone who's ever had migraines should be financially compensated forever btw
#camera talks#disability stuff#this is for my chronic migraine girlies (gn) <3#i think we should all get 1 million million dollars everyday actually#this is the worst fucking night of my life (everytime i have migraines) (specifically rn tho)#chronic pain#chronic migraine#migraines#chronically ill#disabled#disclaimer because idk I’ve got a lot of notes on this#I have diagnosed chronic migraines. I used to have them 5-6 times a week#now with medication on a good week I’ll only be affected 2-3 days#on bad weeks it’s much worse#anyways don’t doubt my condition I know what I’m talking about thx
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having good & true friends will literally save and protect you in a million unfathomable ways. like okay we have written so many times about lovers. but the way a platonic friend laughs and cries with you. the way they hold your hand at 14 years old and at 34. the way they keep a little silver tie to you, touching base over and over and over. how you can go years without talking, only to re-meet and discover: oh shit! you're still cool!
there are people who have been in my life for more than half of it, and i have loved every version of them. do you know how fucking beautiful that is. yeah love will save the world. but the way friends love you is gonna save the you.
#and before one of u is like '' i have no friends :(" i used to be there too actually#abusive partner cut me off from ALL of 'em. i didn't think i was lovable#it made me EXCEPTIONALLY shy. i still am actually!!!!#i just ... started saying ''yes.''#i would take pictures of flyers in my library and go to whatever events they had#i started taking community classes#if someone mentioned like ''i am gonna start x group'' i actually took a deep breath#and approached them to be like . okay i want in.#i started making the first move with new people - a small compliment#a smile or a little joke. just to share the space with them.#i have MASSIVE social anxiety. bad parent and bad relationship will do that to ya.#but i just... kept going. and going. and going. to each of these little things. and then...#like. .... idk i just am very blessed. i have a STUPID number of friends#a lot of which i reconnected with. bc it turns out love is never wasted. adult life just.#like. gets in the way. but also... i loved u as a weird little kid. i love u now as a weird big adult.#i promise i PROMISE ur friends are out there. u just have 2 find them. and btw#i didn't make friends with everyone. but i did get a lot of people to smile or laugh.#aint that something.#this process took me something like 2 years. it was HARD!!!!!!!!!!#i love u!!! hard things are often worth it!!!
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