#this is also me saying sorry i haven't been here a lot over the summer my mind is so occupied by my bachelors thesis that it gave me

[jillsandwhichs]

Joel Miller x Reader Smutshot Collection , Chap 6 , Beer and Sex

Masterlist

Pairing: F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: You, Joel and Tommy are at an event in Austin that includes being outdoors, drinking & games! Well, long story short, you and Joel end up heading back to his place for some indoor fun

Status of your guy's relationship in this one shot: Friends

WC: 3.0k

Type: NSFW

Warnings: No outbreak (AU), Usage of alcohol, Buzzed sex, Dirty talk, Making out, Breast play, Living room sex, You ride Joel, Unprotected sex, Choking kink, Clit rubbing, Denial of orgasm, doggy style & you ride him

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

You sat back down whilst laughing. Picking your beer back up, you sipped it and put it back down. You haven't drinken in a while, it's nice to finally do it again. You're usually so busy with work that you never have the time or energy to get some alcohol in your system. Your friends Joel and Tommy convinced you to go with them to this event in town though and when you saw there were drinks, you couldn't refuse.

The only reason Joel and Tommy are here is because Maria is hosting this event. She's very big with the city council and hosts events like this from time to time. You don't mind coming. You're actually enjoying yourself. Just a bit ago you were playing darts with Joel and then tether ball with Tommy. You're slightly buzzed too. You can't get full blown drunk though, you need to still drive home.

As you watched some of the younglings run around and play, you felt the weight of the table increase as Joel sat down. It's a muscular man. He weighs a good bit. "Hey." You said in a friendly tone. "Hello." He replied, sipping his tall boy. "You got another one? Shit, don't make me go get another one too, I still have to drive home." You joked, resting your head in your hand. Joel chuckled. "My house is just a few blocks away and I walked here so I ain't even bothered." Joel stated.

That's right, he lives in the suburbs. That's not something you'd expect from a country boy like him. Then again, being country is defined by where you live. "Where did Tommy and Maria go?" "No fuckin' clue," Joel snickered, "Probably fuckin' in the bathroom or something." He teased. You laughed and nodded. "They are newly weds, what can you expect?" You said whilst giggling. Joel nodded. "True that."

Joel was once married, he even had a daughter with the woman. Joel has been single for years now though. Everyone jokes he's out of commission but he just says he's waiting for the right lady. Sarah, his daughter, is almost twelve. She's getting older and cuter by the second. You've met her quite a bit, even babysat her, she's a dear. Joel told you she's with her mother right now, so he's free.

"At least Maria is getting some. It's been a good few months for me." "Months? Try years darlin' and it ain't by choice." You cackled at his words. He isn't wrong. He's celibate from what you've heard. "Sorry Joel, that has to suck." "It sure fuckin' does." He took a shot of his beer. You nodded and sipped off of yours too. The beer was getting warm. Gross. You sighed deeply. "I'm going to go get a new beer, I'll be right back."

You stood up and headed towards the cooler. This cooler was brought by Tommy himself. He decided to provide it for everyone. It's the good stuff too. You bent over and picked up a new one. It was ice cold to the touch. "Hell yeah." You murmured, cracking it open. You're currently wearing a black tank top and short jean shorts. It's hot during the summer, you have to stay cool somehow.

When you turned around, you saw that Joel's eyes were on you. He looked like he was trying to play it off as if he wasn't just checking you out but he totally was. You can't lie, you've checked him out too. Those big muscles and that handsome face are a sight for sore eyes. He's a hottie, admittedly. You giggled and sat back down beside him.

"You were totally just checking me out, weren't you?" You said with a laugh, tipping your beer into your mouth and drinking it all while looking into his brown eyes. He snorted and nodded. "You caught me." Oh, so he was? You don't mind. You knew Joel would be there and that did somewhat take part in what you're currently wearing.

You've always thought he was sexy. The day Tommy introduced you to him you though that. That was only two years ago. Your guy's friendship has been great but you're awfully surprised the two of you haven't hooked up yet. You've definitely flirted and hit on one another. You've even went as far as to having him lick salt off of your stomach before taking a shot of tequila and that had you soaked.

It is very surprising.

"But you can't deny you were checkin' me out earlier." Joel whispered to you with a husky voice. You giggled. "Guilty as charged. You've also caught me red handed." This isn't just the beer talking. You totally were. When he was putting the cooler down earlier, you were indeed gawking at his veiny, buff arms. You giggled and bit your lip while looking up at him. "How drunk are you?" You asked him. "Not drunk enough." You rolled your eyes at his words.

You looked around the area. You still have no clue where Tommy and Maria are. "I'll shoot him a text. Let's get out of here." He whispered to you. You scoffed and breathed in deeply. "Alright." You giggled. He got off of the picnic table and took your hand in his, helping you out of the table as well. You smiled at him. Your guy's hands stayed interlocked. Is this actually going to happen? Are you going to fuck Joel Miller? After all this time?

"My house ain't too far from here." Joel said to you in a deep voice. "I know." You smiled, walking alongside him. You don't feel drunk. You do feel buzzed. It isn't anything you can't handle. You're a heavy weight. It takes you time to really hit the drunk point. The trees around you and Joel brought you two shade, but you're already too hot, in more ways than one. He looked down at you and chuckled. "I can't wait to fuck you." He admitted. You huffed out. "Good." You bit your lip to hold back a big grin.

You glanced over your shoulder. You hope no one will wonder where you two are. You'd rather keep this between you and Joel for now. "Will we come back once we're done?" "We'll have to, I left my goddamn brother back there." You laughed loudly. "That is true... He'll be fine, right?" "He's a grown man, he's fine. Like I said darlin', I'll text him." You nodded. You just don't want them to come looking for the two of you.

You'd rather not be in the middle of getting fucked when Tommy and Maria show up.

-

As Joel opened his front door and locked it behind him, he chuckled and grabbed you, smashing his lips against yours. You kissed him back. His messy beard scraped against your face. "Mmph." You moaned, wrapping your arms around his neck. He picked you up into his arms like you were a feather. You giggled and continued to kiss him. His hands were on your ass cheeks, squeezing them as he took you two to the living room area.

"Baby?" "Hmm?" "Bedroom or living room?" You snorted at his question. At least you get a say in this. You thought for a moment. "Let's keep it fun-living room." "Glady." Joel smirked, kissing you again but this time, his tongue found it's way into your mouth. You didn't mind. It made you even more horny. Your guy's tongues fought for dominance. You wanted to explore every crevice of his mouth. You moaned loudly as he sat you down on him. You could feel his erection through his stained work jeans.

You giggled and kissed him before reaching your hands down to the end of your tank top and pulling it off. Joel just stared in admiration. He thinks you're gorgeous. "Look at you," He purred, "You're beautiful." He whispered. You grinned. "You're handsome, and so sexy." You spoke seductively before licking his lower lip and kissing him again. His hands went to your tits, he squeezed them gently. Joel is more of an ass guy though.

After making out for a little bit, Joel finally pulled away to take deep breaths. "I'm fuckin' twitchin'." He sighed deeply, looking down at his bulge. You think that's the sexist thing ever. You love when a man is vocal about how he feels or what you're doing to him. "I'm so wet for you, wanna feel?" You whispered against his ear. Joel's breath shuttered. "Badly." And his hands went to your shorts, undoing them and helping you out of them as well.

Stepping out of your shorts, you climbed back into Joel's lap and sighed. "Feel." You whispered, kissing his neck and jawline. Joel brought his finger down to your core and pulled your panties to the side. As he dipped his fingers through your folds, he let out a low groan. "So fuckin' wet, just for me, hm?" He whispered, nibbling on your jawline. You giggled. "Just for you." This surely isn't the first time you've gotten wet thinking about Mr. Joel Miller.

Joel swiped his fingers through your folds, picking up all of your juicy wetness. You continued to kiss him. He seemed desperate, like a wild animal. He's hungry for you. You bit his lower lip and once again swiped your tongue along his. You moaned so quietly, it was more of a whimper.

He pulled his finger away and grunted. "Need to feel you from the inside." He murmured as he pulled his cock out of his jeans. Oh yeah, he's big. You're excited. It's been so long, especially for him. You hope you're as good as he'll be to you. Grabbing his member, you yourself pulled your white panties to the side before you then sat down on his dick. Both of you made sensual noises as your folds and cunt enveloped him. He was already so deep inside of you. It feels so good.

"How's that?" You chuckled, your arms around his neck. He snickered and gripped your ass tightly, landing a smack onto it which caused you to jolt slightly. "You feel so good. Now fuckin' ride me." He began to squeeze and slap your ass and you started to ride him. You went slow at first. Your movements were just simple grinds back and forth but you'd occasionally lift your ass up and back down, literally bouncing on his cock.

You wanted to savour this. You haven't felt this good in awhile. Having sex with Joel tonight was not on your agenda of plans but seriously, it is a welcomed surprise. He feels amazing. He knows what he's doing too. Each time he pinches your ass cheeks or spanks you playfully, it either makes you moan or kiss him even harder and more passionately.

Now, Joel is holding your hips. You began to ride him faster too. His dick is so deep inside of you, you can hardly believe it. "I've wanted this for a long time." You moaned out, looking him in the eyes. His eyes got darker and even more full of lust. "Me too babygirl, me too." He then swatted your ass again before going back to squeezing your hips. You're sure you'll have red marks all over your cheeks by later in the evening.

Bouncing on him, each thrust was just a mark bringing you closer to your climax. His member is deep inside of you and is shoving itself against your tight walls with each movement. "Yes baby." He groaned, kissing and licking your neck. He thinks you smell amazing. You did put on your perfume before going to the event. You're glad it's doing it's job.

"Babygirl, turn around, cowgirl, y'know?" You giggled at his words. "Yes sir." You teased and lifted yourself off of him slightly to turn around. You were surprised he asked you to switch positions, but you aren't complaining. You pushed yourself down onto his dick again and you both made whimpering noises. He seems to be feeling good. That's all you want. It's been years for him, you better make it good.

Once you got comfortable, you moaned loudly as he started to thrust up into you. "Joel!" You practically screamed, tossing your head back against his broad shoulder. He cackled and kissed your neck, leaving numerous bites and hickies onto it too. How are you supposed to go into work on Monday? You're sure these'll last a few days, hopefully not. "Need to make sure I still got it." Joel grunted, now he is the one fucking you and man, it's heaven.

Joel noticed your head was still tilted back against his shoulder. He smirked. He brought his left hand up to your neck and held it, choking you now. You moaned and turned your head slightly, kissing his messy hair and giggling. "You're so deep inside of me." You panted. "Yea? You're takin' it so fuckin' well too baby." Joel replied, kissing your cheeks numerous times, making you smile and chuckle.

His free hand, his right one, was one your lower stomach, holding you in place. You wanted to look down to see him moving inside of you, but you couldn't. With his hand on your neck, there's not much you can do with your head. You aren't complaining. You think it's hot to be choked. He does it so well too. "Been thinkin' about fuckin' you for awhile now," He whispered against your ear. His breath was warm. "You feel better than I ever could've imagined." That made you whimper in pleasure.

You felt his right hand slither down from your waist and to your clit. You whimpered. "Oh God!" You whined out as he began to rub your clit fast and with pressure. It felt so good. He works well with his fingers. He continued to thrust up into you, which made the experience a million times better. "I'm gonna cum." You whispered to him. "No baby, not yet, hold it in." What!? How are you supposed to just hold it in? "What?" "You heard me babydoll." He licked behind your ear and bit on your lobe. "Do not cum yet." He sternly stated.

"How?" "Just do it."

How are you supposed to hold back your orgasm? No hookup has ever asked you to hold it back. Actually, they need you to cum quickly or else they'll finish before you. You whimpered and bit your lip. No, you're going to cum. "I can't," You panted, "I just can't." Joel didn't respond. "Joel!" You moaned out, reaching your hand behind his head and tugging on his hair. He grunted and bit down on your neck.

"Cum for me."

That was it. You moaned softly as you coated his cock in your fluids. You let go of his hair. Shaking in his lap, Joel continued to rub your clit until you came down from your high. It overstimed you even. "Holy Christ." You moaned. You went to turn your head to kiss him but he lifted you up and chuckled. "I still haven't finished." He then pushed you down onto the couch, doggy style, and began to pound into you.

You moaned loudly and gripped the couch beneath you. Your knuckles even went white. He moved so skillfully inside of you. Each pump was one of excellence. "Wish I could cum inside of you." He whispered, running his hands up and down your back before he ultimately rested them on your rear. Joel gripped your ass, squeezing it tightly before leaving multiple slaps onto it, all of which made your moan or squeal.

With just a couple more thrusts, Joel finished. He quickly pulled out and stroked himself. He finished all over your ass and lower back. "Fuck sakes." Joel groaned, caressing your ass as he came. You pushed your ass against his manhood and giggled. He spanked you again and snickered. "One sec." He leaned over and grabbed a random wipe, cleaning your ass and back off. He tossed the rag to the other side of the living room and you chuckled.

Joel heaved deeply and lifted you up by your waist and pulled you back into his lap. You were basically completely naked, only in panties whereas he was fully dressed. So unfair. "Was it good?" You asked him, resting your head against the arm of the couch. He glanced down at you, still breathing heavily. "You're a funny girl." He leaned down and kissed you softly. "It was fuckin' glorious." He then nibbed on your jawline, making you giggle cutely.

You hummed and looked up at him. "You're the only man whose ever denied me of finishing, by the way." You snorted. "That's because you've only done slept with boys who finish too quickly. I think it's sexy to see a woman be restricted of her pleasure." You giggled at his words. "It felt better." "That's the point babydoll." He caressed your cheek and you brought yourself closer to his face, kissing him gently.

He breathed in deeply and cupped your face firmly, holding you in place. "Don't convince me to fuck you again." He said with a smile against your lips. "If you can't handle it..." You bit your lip. You acted like you were about to get off of his lap and you suddenly squealed as he tossed you back onto the couch and put you in missionary. Your legs went over his shoulders and you smiled.

"Oh I think I can handle it."

That was where the next of many rounds began.

[reputatata]

i recently watched l.otr for the first time ever and i haven't been able to think about anything else tbh

[lees-chaotic-brain]

swapped! (todoroki x reader)

summary: after you get hit with a strange quirk, you swap bodies with your long time crush and hero partner todoroki shouto. somehow, every single thing that could possibly go wrong goes wrong and chaos ensues. idea dump here

genre/content warnings: afab reader, reader has some sort of telekinesis quirk for plot efficiency (i got lazy sorry), suggestive, periods, reader is implied to have a heavy flow but it's really just for the plot to ensure maximal crack, mentions of blood, swearing, fluff, crack, todoroki is a little shit (when is he not)

wc: 5.9k (oopsies this is my longest fic to date)

note: this is for @andypantsx3's pretty boy summer collab! (sorry it's late andie) it is also one of my sponsored fics for @ficsforgaza's fundraiser! i couldn't fit all the scenes i wanted into the fic without ruining the flow, so go check them out and sponsor them if you want to read more! also everyone needs to go say thank you to @thelov3lybookworm for giving me the push i needed to stop making excuses and find solutions so i could post. thanks girl <3

i'm not sure how i feel about the ending, but i think it's as good as it's going to get! since i haven't written in a little while and things have been tough, likes, reblogs, and comments would be so so appreciated, and will help me get the next fic on my list done faster!!!

blog navigation | bhna masterlist | extras!

The first thing you notice when you finally emerge from the depths of your slumber is how comfortable you were. Everything feels just right, your pillows are cool against your neck, and your sheets hold the perfect amount of warmth; enough to keep you cozy, but not so hot that your sweat is creasing the silky sheets and making you feel sticky and gross.

The second thing you notice is the very large, very male hand sprawled on the pillow next to your head. A deep male voice lets out a surprised cry as you jerk back, the hand moving with you.. It takes you several moments to realize that it had come from you. 

Your bare feet thump against the wood paneled floor as you stumble out of bed disoriented and realize where you are for the first time. Namely, not in your bedroom.

Glancing around in confusion, you wonder what the hell happened, and how you ended up somewhere so nice.. The space itself is fairly bare, but you can tell that all of the furniture inhabiting it is expensive. From the sleek wooden dresser to the geometric modern light fixtures to the insanely high thread count of the sheets, everything screams tasteful luxury. 

Where are you? You definitely feel asleep in your own bedroom. Reaching up you rake your hair out of your face and freeze. Instead of the familiar texture and length of your own hair, you’re greeted with short, silky soft strands that definitely did not belong to you.

Mussing your hair to make sure you’re not imagining things, you glance down, and for the first time notice some inexplicable things.For one, the ground is a lot farther away than it normally is, and for two, last time you checked you did not have washboard abs, or a male anatomy.

The entire situation was confusing, and you were still slightly sleep-addled. Despite that you knew that you needed to find a mirror. A quick glance around the room located one in the corner and you hurry over to it. 

Sliding to a stop you grip the edges of the little stand, frost spreading from your right hand to cover the wood while you gaped at your appearance.

Intense heterochromatic eyes stared back at you, shock filling them. Your hair was a unique mess of red and white strands, the two colors mussed with sleep. With those distinctive features, plus high chiseled cheekbones, a jawline that could cut stone and a slim yet unfairly muscular body there was no doubt about it.

You were Todoroki Shouto. At least, that’s whose body you’re currently inhabiting. His very shirtless body. 

BZZZZZT BZZZZZZT

Saved from having to fight your urges to poke at his abs by the noise, you jump, swinging your gaze around in search of the origin.

BZZZZZZT BZZZZZZT

A simple black phone flashes on the otherwise empty nightstand (does he seriously not even have a lamp??), the caller i.d. sending you scrambling across the room to the phone. 

Fumbling in your haste, you manage to swipe and pick up the incoming call from your cell phone.

Your mind is racing a mile a minute. There were only two ways to get into your phone. The first was the password, but even you forgot it most of the time. It sat safely tucked away on a post it in the safe you store all of your important documents in. The second was through face i.d. and the only person who could unlock your phone with their face was you. And since you were in his body, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume that he….Lifting the phone to your ear you speak hesitantly.

“Todoroki? Is that you?”

“Y/N?”

It was unnerving to hear your voice saying your name from the other end of the phone,

“What happened?!” You’re a little mortified to hear the hysteria lacing your words, but you can feel the panicked adrenaline flooding your veins as your body goes into fight or flight.

“I believe that the quirk we got hit with yesterday caused us to switch bodies. However, it is highly unlikely that it is permanent so it will be fine.” Even though it’s your voice, something about knowing Todoroki is on the other end was reassuring enough that some of the tension bled from your shoulders.

“That’s good.” You sigh, rubbing your face. There’s a mildly uncomfortable throbbing coming from your lower half, and you absentmindedly reach down to rub at it, forgetting you weren’t in your own body. Brushing against a bump in your gray sweatpants, you shiver as a familiar feeling spreads through your lower stomach and something twitches.

“Todoroki?” Your voice suddenly gets a little higher, the hint of hysteria from before returning to the normally deep monotone. “We have a problem.”

“What is it? Is something wrong?” 

Ignoring his questions, you stare in growing horror at the very obvious tent in the front of the sweatpants you were wearing. You have no idea how you didn’t notice it earlier, but now that you’ve seen what’s going on down there you can’t help but be extremely aware of the uncomfortable pressure. 

“Y/N? Please explain what’s going on. I’m growing concerned.”

“I-” You splutter, unable to form a coherent sentence. Finally you gather your wits enough to say something. “It’s uh, it’s hard.”

“What do you mean? What’s hard? Oh...” He trails off into embarrassed silence.

“OH?” You can’t handle this. “What do you mean ‘oh?!’ Do something!”

“Like what?” He sounds a little defensive. “What am I supposed to do from here?”

“I don’t know!” You’re shouting now. “But you have to do something! How am I supposed to sit here with your massive boner?!”

There’s a loud crash on the other end of the phone, and you jump. “What was that?”

“Nothing.” He answers a little too quickly, but his voice still retains his usual impassivity. “Anyways, returning to the problem at hand. It will go away on its own after a little while. Unless you would rather handle it yourself-”

“No!” You wince as you practically shout into the phone. “I mean, no it's okay. I feel like that would be unprofessional.”

You can hear the amusement in his voice as he responds. “I feel like this entire situation is rather unprofessional. After all, I did see your breasts this morning.”

There must be something wrong with your hearing because there’s no way he just said what you thought he did. In such a nonchalant manner at that. “Wha-What?” Embarrassingly your voice cracks as you rack your brain, frantically searching through your memories of the night before. Then it hits you. 

“You went to bed without pants, a shirt, and a bra last night.” He informs you matter of factly, and you must be going crazy because there’s no way that that’s smugness you’re picking up from him. “Judging from the temperature of your apartment I’d say that your air conditioning is broken. You should probably get that fixed.”

You’ve completely forgotten about the boner you’re currently sporting due to the mortification of it all. Of course the one time the two of you switch bodies it just has to be the day your AC broke and you went to bed in nothing but a pair of striped cotton undies.

A small part of you mourns that you weren’t wearing something sexier, but the larger part of you is screaming that he is your boss. Sure you’ve been friends for years, and you have a not so little crush on him, but you are his subordinate. This was going to make things so awkward in the office. Hopefully once this is all over you can go hunt someone with a memory erasing quirk down to wipe his mind. But maybe not yours. You kind of want to remember the toned planes of his abs and the impressive bulge in his sweats. 

Giving yourself a shake you chastise your internal voice. Absolutely not. That would be an invasion of his privacy. In fact, you should put on a shirt right this second to respect his privacy, not that he didn’t walk around with half of his hero suit burned off from time to time. Wait. A thought suddenly occurs to you.

“Wait. You have a shirt on now, right? You put on a shirt before calling me.” You laugh nervously, because of course he has more common sense than that. It’s not like he would just sit on the phone with you while your tits were hanging out, right? Right??

“Well no.” Your heart falls out of your ass and you accidentally sear a handprint into the edge of his nightstand at his casual answer. “It’s uncomfortably warm in here and without the use of my quirk I am unable to regulate my body's temperature. Aside from that, I don’t know where you keep your shirts so I prioritized calling you to discuss the situation over going through your personal belongings.

That all sounds perfectly reasonable and you would have fallen for it except for one little thing. “Todoroki. I know for a fact that I was too lazy to put my laundry away yesterday and there is a stack of clean t-shirts sitting on the end of my bed right now.” 

You hear rustling -is he still in your bed?!- as he leans forwards to check. “Oh. You’re correct. My apologies.” There’s more rustling and the sound of fabric sliding over skin as he pulls a t-shirt over his head. “It’s on now.”

“Thank you.” You pointedly ignore the fact that he did not sound the tiniest bit apologetic, filing it away to revisit later. For now, the two of you need to discuss what to do next. “I appreciate it. What’s the plan now though? I think we should meet at the agency as soon as possible and go from there.” 

“I agree.” He seems to lack the sense of urgency currently consuming you as he hums in agreement. It’s incredibly annoying. “We should probably give each other directions on what to do, and where to find the things we need.”

On second thought maybe it’s better that he’s calm and thinking clearly because that was an excellent idea. “That’s smart. I keep a pad of paper and a pen on my nightstand to jot down reminders if you want to use that. Where do you keep your paper?”

“Check my bookshelf.” The telltale sound of paper flipping told you that he found the notepad as you crossed the room and stopped in front of the simple wooden bookcase. “Where is it on your bookshelf?”

“I think I keep a notebook and a pad of paper on the middle shelf.” He sounds distracted and a little uncertain, but when you stoop down to check (it’s weird being this tall) you find a simple yellow legal pad and a black pen. “I got it.” 

“Okay.” The sound of a book closing accompanies his words and there’s a hint of some unidentifiable emotion lacing the two-syllables. 

Not thinking much of it you shrug it off, sitting down down at his desk and listening as he tells you where keeps his car keys, hero suit, and other necessities. You ask a few follow up questions, jotting down what cabinet he keeps his cologne and deodorant in, before launching into your own instructions.

“The first thing you need to do is start the coffee machine. Trust me. My body will not be happy unless you give it at least three cups of coffee or like two big energy drinks before 9 am. Next…” After you’re sure he has understood the importance of caffeine, you move on, explaining where you keep your clothes, car keys, and shoes, as well as where you parked your car. 

“Don’t worry about makeup or hair products or anything while you’re getting me ready. I know there’s a lot on my bathroom counter but it’s not necessary. But you do need to go into the first drawer on your left when you’re standing at the sink and grab my anxiety meds. They should be in an orange prescription bottle. Only take one. And please for the love of god do not forget to put a bra on. You got all that?”

“I believe so. Is there a specific outfit you want me to wear or should I just choose?” You stop and think. Left to his own devices there’s no knowing what he might put you in (his first hero costume proof of his abysmal sense of fashion) so it would be best to give him some guidance. “Could you just wear a casual sweater and some jeans?” 

“Yes. Let’s get ready and meet at the agency in about an hour. If that works for you.” There’s not much writing on the yellow legal pad, the black scrawl of your handwriting barely taking up half a page. Okay. It isn’t that much. You can do this. “That sounds good to me.”

“Oh, I also think it might be best if we kept this from the general employees at the agency for the time being just to reduce drama. Is that okay with you?” 

“Of course.” More than okay actually. Some of them were aware of your not-so-little crush on him, so it would spare you some teasing and interrogation.

There’s a couple seconds of awkward silence, and you get the feeling he wants to say something more, the tension crackling through the speaker of his stupidly expensive phone. Opening your mouth, you start to say something then realize you don’t really have anything to say. The awkward silence persists a couple seconds longer before he wishes you goodbye and hangs up.

Click. Click. Click. Clickclickclickclickclickclickclick. You didn’t even realize that you had started clicking the pen open and closed, a nervous habit of yours. Sheepishly you place the pen down on his desk and stand. Sure the vibes were kind of weird at the end there, but it’s not like anything worth making you nervous happened. The situation might not be ideal, but it wasn’t the biggest deal in the world. You could handle it. The worst part was already over. You just had to meet him at the agency, figure out what to do with the rest of the day, and wake up in your own body tomorrow. Piece of cake.

Gaping in horror, you realize that this was not, in fact, going to be a piece of cake. 

Getting ready had been easy enough so you had arrived at the agency a few minutes before your agreed meeting time, which fortunately/unfortunately put you in the perfect position to witness the walking shitshow.

You had been idly sipping at a cup of coffee, marveling at how many packets of sugar it had taken to make it acceptable to his taste buds when he staggered in, catching the eye of pretty much everyone in the lobby.

Hunched over weirdly, he staggered in, wearing a pair of jeans that rode just a little too low to be professional and a very white, very sheer shirt that was meant to be layered over an undershirt. Or, at the very least, with a sturdy, modest bra underneath.

Alas, you can only stare in abject horror at the sight of what everyone else would assume was you stumbling in, your nipples visible from across the room, the bra that should have been on your body clasped in one hand. 

You’re pretty sure you disassociated for a few seconds from sheer mortification, standing there unmoving for several seconds. Once you had processed (and gone through the seven stages of grief multiple times) you were bolting across the floor, seizing his (your?) arm and dragging him down the hall and into the family bathroom where no one could see.

Slamming the door shut behind you, you shove Todoroki/yourself into the small space, wincing as you watch him stumble in your body. Did you always seem this weak and small in his eyes? The sound of the lock clicking as you shut the door reminds you of the current situation and you turn on him, rage emanating from every pore of your being.

“I. Thought. I. Told. You. To. Put. On. A. Bra.” You’re hurt, and seriously pissed off, neatly trimmed nails digging into your thighs as you grip your pants. Humiliation courses through your body, pulsing behind your eyes in tears that you will not let fall, no matter what. “Is this some kind of joke? Are you trying to embarrass me-”

“No.” It’s disconcerting watching yourself speak and move, but subtle mannerisms remind you that it’s Todoroki you’re looking at, not yourself in the mirror. “I wouldn’t do that to you, I swear.”

“Then what is this?” You wave your hand at your body, flinching at what others must be whispering about you. “Do you want people to think I’m some sort of crazy person who goes around practically flashing people at their workplace? Someone who has no sense of decency?”

“Of course not.” His tone is as even as ever, but you can tell that he feels bad. “People here know what type of person you are. I’m sure they’re more concerned than anything.”

The fabric of his blue hero suit unscrunches as your hands drop to your sides, chest heaving as you take a deep breath. “I hope so.”

There’s vulnerability in your voice, and for a second you find peace in the quiet of the moment before he ruins it. “Besides, I’m more worried about my reputation than yours right now.”

You look up indignantly. “Why? I did everything you asked, and I’m fully dressed so I’m not sure why you’re complaining.”

He winces as your voice raises (maybe the coffee hasn’t kicked in yet) but he hides it quickly. “I mean, from their point of view, they just watched me forcibly drag my subordinate off and locked myself in a bathroom with her. They probably have all sorts of unseemly ideas about what I’m doing right now.”

You freeze. Shit. You hadn’t even considered what it would look like to the others. “I’m so sorry. We can explain this to everyone. Like you told me, everyone here also knows you, and that you would never do anything inappropriate.” 

“It’s fine.” He gives you a genuine, yet slightly strained smile. “I’m not too concerned. However, your body doesn’t feel great.”

‘What’s wrong?” You reach out and touch his forehead. “You don’t have a fever.” Glancing down, you sigh. “First things first let's make you decent. You literally brought the bra. Why aren’t you wearing it?”

“The best way I can describe it is it’s similar to the time I accidentally ate Bakugou’s extra spicy curry, except it’s not in my stomach. It’s more in my abdomen. And I meant to wear it, I just couldn’t figure out how to get it on.”

“Okay. I can help with that.” You motion for him to lift his arms. “Take off your shirt.”

He lifts an eyebrow. “Is now really the time?” The bathroom is silent as you give him a death look. “It’s my body. There is quite literally nothing about the body you are currently inhabiting that I do not already know about. Now, shirt. I’ll help put the bra on.”

Understanding that you were not in the mood, he hurriedly pulls the shirt off, and you’re presented with the sight of your bare torso. Ignoring the strange intimacy of the moment (it was literally your own body you had no idea why you felt weird) you help him slip his arms into the straps, then motion for him to turn around. 

He complies, and that’s when you see it. The relatively small, but somewhat noticeable stain on your crotch in the back of your pants. That’s why he wasn’t feeling good. Your body started your period.

The clasp of the bra dangles in your hands as you stare at it, evaluating your choices. One. You could pretend like nothing is happening but chances are he’s going to have to pee at some point during the day so he’ll find out eventually. Plus the stain wasn’t small.

Two. Be the mature, rational adult you are and calmly explain the situation. After all, there was nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a perfectly normal, perfectly natural, biological function that comes with being a female.

And three. Just leave and go crawl into your bed until this nightmare is over. Let him deal with it himself. 

Option number three was looking pretty good there for a moment and you were calculating how fast you could escape the agency without drawing attention when Todoroki spoke. 

“Everything okay? Why aren’t you doing the hook things?” Snapping out of your trance, you clumsily clasp the back, taking several tries to get all the hooks in the same row. Patting it, you tell him to put the shirt back on before taking a deep breath. “Hey, Todoroki?”

Wisps of hair emerge from the neckline of your shirt, followed closely by your head as he pops into your shirt. “Yes?”

“So like, it’s going to be okay and I swear I’ll help you and I’m sorry you have to deal with this but please whatever you do, don’t freak out. Promise?” He tilts his head slightly, regarding you with confusion. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but if you say it’ll be okay I don’t see why I would feel the need to freak out.”

His calm response puts you somewhat at ease, and you just rip the bandaid off. “My body just started it’s period. With you in it. That’s why your abdomen was hurting. It was period cramps. Don’t worry, I’ll get you some advil soon. There’s a small stain on the back of your pants, but it’s not bad yet. However, it’s really heavy on my first day so we’re going to need to get a tampon in and a pad on asap.”

A blank stare is your only response. “What…is a tampon? And what does heavy mean? Also, does it always hurt this bad?” A small furrow appears between his brows, and you can tell he’s overthinking.

“Normally it’s only this bad for a few days, but I’m used to it by now.” You reassure him, grabbing a tampon and pad from the free dispenser on the wall. “And to answer your question, a tampon is basically a fancy roll of material that goes up there and absorbs the blood.”

You’re doing your best to remain calm and unbothered on the outside, but on the inside you’re losing your mind because there was absolutely no way that you were about to teach your crush how to insert a tampon into your cooch because you managed to swap bodies on the worst possible day.

He looks at you pensively as you approach him with the hygiene products. “Okay. What do you want me to do?”

You pause, considering. How did you want to do this? It would be weird for you to put it in yourself, even if it was your body. The packaging crinkles in your hands as you turn the items over in your hand. The easiest route would be to have him just put the pad on, but you also didn’t want him to deal with the mess and discomfort of sitting in a pad. 

“Alright.” You clap your hands, the sharp sound echoing off the clean linoleum floors. “We’ll get a pad on first, then we’ll try the tampon. Ready?”

“Yes. How do I do that?” Okay. You can explain this. It’s not that complicated. “First things first, pull down your pants and underwear and sit on the toilet.”

A rustle of clothing and the click of the toilet seat against the porcelain bowl told you he had complied. “Wait, but like, don’t look okay. Keep your eyes averted.”

“Understood.” You choose to ignore the amusement in his voice, instead grabbing another pad and giving him a demo. Feeling guilty about the waste, you rip open one of the packages and pull out the pad. It’s thick, and made of cheap material like all free pads in public bathrooms tended to be.

Holding it up so he can see you demonstrate peeling the tab and unfolding it before peeling the sticky back off and showing it to him. 

“Basically you just have to remove the covering and stick it to the bottom of your underwear. Make sense?”

He nods, so you pass him the pad and watch him carefully peel back the appropriate backings and smooth it into the center of your panties. His eyes gleam at you hopefully as he looks up, and when you tell him he did a good job you could have sworn he preened. 

“Good job Todoroki.” A subtle frown pulls at his lips. “So for the tampon-”

“Shouto.” He cuts you off, looking disgruntled. “Call me Shouto.”

“I-What?” Thrown off guard by the sudden demand request you blink at him. “I don’t see how that’s relevant to what’s going on right now, but you’re my boss. It doesn’t seem right for me to address you so casually.”

“But you call me Shouto while we’re at work.” He stubbornly refuses to give the point up, clinging to it like a dog with their chew toy. “How is it any different?”

“Because-” You give him an exasperated look. “Some idiot decided to make his hero name his first name, so when he’s at work his co-workers are forced to use it. I don’t call you Shouto as in Todoroki Shouto. I call you Shouto as in Pro-Hero Shouto. That’s the difference.”

“But we’ve known each other for years.” He’s very matter of fact, clearly missing the point. “I would say we’re close enough for first names.”

He’s unbelievable. Of all the things to focus on right now why on earth is he choosing to argue over how you address him? “Of course we’re close. I consider you a good friend. But I wouldn’t say we’re close enough where it’s appropriate for me to address you by your first name when you’re my boss.”

“I’m currently in a bathroom with you right now, in your body, sitting on a toilet with no pants, on your period. I don’t see how we can possibly get any closer.” He had a point, and you just wanted to get this whole disaster sorted out as quickly as possible so you conceded. “Fine. Shouto. Now, will you please listen to me so we can get this over with and go on with our day?”

Using demonstrative hand motions and trying not to show how flustered you were you explained how to put the tampon in. Finally you finish, and hand him a tampon. He unwraps it, then hunches over in an awkward position trying to see what he was doing.

A red flush crawls up your neck as he quite literally examines your pussy, your insecurities running rampant, thoughts you’ve never had before occurring. Like, what if it looks weird? You didn’t exactly have a huge frame of reference, and all of your past experiences were horny hookups so you literally had no idea what it looked like from his point of view. He was probably repulsed by it. If everything that already happened hadn’t ruined any chance you had with him this was the final nail in the coffin.

A quiet splash cuts through the silence of the bathroom, interrupting your downward spiral. Looking up, you lock eyes with Todoroki, who’s frozen guiltily on the toilet.

“What just happened?”

“I, er, well I’m not sure.” Your eyes narrow. “What was the splash?”

“I did my best.” He sounds defensive. “I had a hard time finding…it…and it’s not easy to line it up and I think I did it wrong because as soon as I put it in it kind of just…spat it back out?”

Gaping at him, you’re at a loss for words before a loud, unflattering cackle rips itself out of your chest. The self-consciousness caused by the strangeness of the moment and being in the presence of your crush fading away as you reverted to treating him like you did in high school.

“Oh-Oh my god!” You’re doubled over, almost crying with how hard you’re laughing. “You can’t find it. You can’t even find the hole. You must be so popular with the ladies.”

As you laugh, a strange sensation builds in your stomach, and next thing you know it feels like you’re getting sucked into a vacuum and shot out the other end. Your vision goes black and fuzzy, the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom hurting your eyes when you finally open them.

When you finally open them and find yourself staring into the unimpressed face of one Todoroki Shouto that is. 

Seeing his face again instead of staring at yours is a relief, but it’s also unfortunate because now you are the one perched on the toilet, your pants hanging around your ankles and a tampon floating around in the toilet water beneath you. 

The two of you lock eyes, and you realize that now you’ve both returned to your own bodies it’s even worse that he’s seeing you half naked (don’t ask you why it just is somehow. Maybe it has something to do with him seeing it from his point of view instead of yours?). 

Embarrassment floods your face, and you yell at him to turn around, hurriedly grabbing another tampon and putting it in before using your quirk to retrieve the tampon from the toilet and dumping it into the trash. A rushed tug has your pants back on, and the two of you stand in the bathroom not moving or speaking. Finally you break the silence.

“Uh, well, anyways. I’m glad this all worked out, sorry for the inconvenience and how weird it was. I’m going to head home and enjoy my day off now. Have a nice day!”

Not giving him the chance to respond, you dart past him and out the door, ignoring him as he calls your name. Yeah right. Have a nice day? More like have a nice life. There was no way you could ever show your face around him again. Maybe you could call Kyoka up and ask her if she needed a new hero at the agency she shared with Denki.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t always go as planned, and you wake up the next morning to your phone buzzing. You called in sick the night before, partially because your cramps were really bothering you, and partially because you were avoiding Todoroki. 

Blearily, you roll over, pawing at your phone before lifting it to your ear. “Hello?”

“Good morning.” Immediately recognizing the smooth, deep voice belonging to none other than the one man you were actively trying to avoid, you do the only logical thing and hang up immediately. 

A couple seconds later your phone rings again, and this time you let it go to voicemail. The sharp trill of your ringtone reaches you through the pillow you pressed over your head, alerting you that he called several more times after that. Finally the calls stop, and you emerge from under the pillows, beating back the strange sense of disappointment rising in your chest.

Ping!

The sound of your phone chiming startles you, causing you to drop it. Picking it back up, you check your notifications with bated breath.

(1) New Message From: Todoroki Shouto

Scared to read the message, you hesitate to click on it, having no idea what to expect. Your thumb hovers over the banner, the light washing over your skin as you work up the courage to check it.

Ping!

Your phone lands on your carpet with a plop as you accidentally drop it over the edge of your bed, not expecting it to go off again.

Ping! Ping!

Cautiously, you poke your head over the edge of your bed, glancing down at the illuminated lock screen. You let out an internal screech of horror.

(4) New Messages From: Todoroki Shouto

Unable to deal with the agony of not knowing what he said any longer, you scoop your phone up and tap the notification, scanning the messages, your heart dropping further and further the more you read.

Todoroki Shouto: Did you just hang up on me?

I’ll be at your place in fifteen minutes. Do you want anything?

*image attached*

Also: are these the chocolates you’re fond of? I asked my mother and sister and they told me they enjoy chocolate when they are menstruating. 

Those are, in fact, your favorite chocolates, but as much as you wanted them you wanted him at your apartment in fifteen minutes even less. The sound of aggressive tapping filled your room as you typed out a response at breakneck speed, praying to whatever was out there that he wouldn’t actually come to your place.

You: Good morning Todoroki-San. I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was you and hung up because I was half asleep. It’s sweet of you to think of me, but those are expensive. Also, I’m taking the day off today so is there any possible way the matter you have to discuss could wait until tomorrow? Thanks!

A couple seconds after you hit send, the little label beneath the message changed from “delivered” to “read.” Then radio silence. Anxiety bubbles up in the pit of your stomach? What does read mean? Did he agree with you? Is he still coming? Too drained to deal with the emotional turmoil this was causing you, you rolled over and pulled your covers up over your head. This was a problem for future you.

Drifting off, you were awakened a short time later by your phone chiming once, then again a few minutes later, and the sound of your doorbell ringing. Surely it wasn’t…Half-closing your eyes to shield against the harsh glow of your phone, you unlock it.

(2) New Messages From: Todoroki Shouto

Todoroki Shouto: I’m here. Open your door.

I didn’t want to tell you over text, but you aren’t responding. Bakugou says I have romantic feelings for you and I think he is correct. He also said you’ve been “a mooney-eyed moron” for me since we were in high school. If that is true and you do feel the same way, please let me in. I would like to see you and care for you while you are on your cycle.

Three dots appear, signaling that he’s typing. A couple seconds later, your phone chimes again, not even giving you a moment to process the previous messages.

Todoroki Shouto: Our former classmates also unanimously agreed that I am, in fact, popular with the ladies. I’ll forgive your comment if you let me in. The old lady who lives next door to you is giving me suspicious looks. 

You blink. Rub your eyes. Squint closer at your screen. The words didn’t change, and neither did their meaning. And Todoroki wasn’t the type of person to joke around like this. Your mouth suddenly felt dry, and your pulse thundered in your ears as you realized there was only one thing left to do.

You had to get out of bed and let him into your apartment.

taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight @sunaraii @hotvinimon

as always, please please please let me know if you want to be added to or removed from any of my taglists. tysm for reading, and i hope you enjoyed it!!

[thefandomthings]

Okay HEAR ME OUT BUTTTT what about zuko betrayal part 2 with the prompt “you own my heart” 👀

Betrayal

Fluff Prompt #30: "You own my heart."

Pairing: Zuko x F/Gn!reader

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Terrible writing, happy ending? ¡¡SPOILERS!!, Takes place in Book 3. Ep. 11. It doesn't follow the script in the episode.

Notes: I'm so sorry I haven't been writing, I work in agriculture and summer and fall are my busiest times of the year and I lost motivation in the process 😭. But, hopefully I'm back. Thank you for your patience.

Part 1 Part 2 Prompt Event

Who knew betrayal could hurt so much. Chest heavy, heart heavier. Why did he do it? Does he think everything will be okay once he got back? Maybe Azula manipulated him? No. He did it willingly.

It's been weeks since the incident, a few months actually. You dont know what to do with yourself. Everything has been so emotionally hard. The long term depression grasping you in a chokehold.

The gaang has been there for you. Aang suffering from his own mid childhood crisis, the weight of the world literally on his shoulders. Katara tires to help as much as she could, but she is also dealing with things of her own. Sokka....was just Sokka.

After the invasion, you retreated to the western air temple. It was definitely a sight for sore eyes. The architecture was incredible. The Air Nation really outdid themselves.

"Y/n? Why don't you come eat dinner with us?" Katara leaned against the door frame of the room you are currently residing in. You look over at her gave her a small smile, one that didn't quite reach your eyes.

Katara didn't exactly like Zuko, having felt being betrayed as well. She has a lot of not nice things to say about the young prince, but for the sake of your ears she kept them to herself.

She grabs your arm pulling you up from your bed. You reluctantly follow her, head resting on her shoulder.

Today was a rough day. It Started out with a dream of you and him dancing in the temple. Oh so in love. Hands intertwined with each others. Whispering small nothings, butterflies occupying your chest and tummy. You woke up as if it was a nightmare, your brain toying with you like a yoyo.

Katara holds you gently, her hand laying on your head as if you were a child. At this moment you felt as if you were. Needing someone to comfort your aching heart.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Please just hear me out..." You immediately recognize that voice. It was him.

Zuko.

"Why should we? Huh?!" Sokka crosses his arms defensively. Katara flicks the lid on the water pouch on her hip, bending the water out.

You heart is hammering against your chest. His eyes immediately are drawn towards you. Zuko feels himself choke up. The sight of you made his chest hurt. The dullness you held in your eyes was unbearable to look at.

"Y/n...."

"She doesn't want to talk to you." Katara says, she moved to stand in front of you. Her body is blocking his sight of you. Zuko wants to reach for you, to grovel at your feet, to beg for forgiveness. Even if it hurts his pride, or his reputation. Which wasn't much good anyway. He had to make it right with you.

You are his everything.

"It's okay Katara." You give her a reassuring smile, it wasn't very convincing to anyone who knew you.

"What're you doing here?" You inquire and step next to Katara. Your eyes boring into his, he looked...Sad. Regret swimming in his honey irises.

"I've changed-" You feel yourself moving on its own. You hold your hand up, and he stopped talking.

"That's what you said under Ba Sing Se, then you left. Betraying everyone who cared about you. Especially Uncle Iroh."

That struck a nerve, his face hardens and he looks away slightly, eyebrows furrowed. His tongue darts out and wets his dry and cracked lips, his golden eyes looking back up at you. He steps closer, his hands clenching and unclenching by his side.

Zuko wants to hold you...Needs to feel you against him. To kiss you, to be with you. He needs you like he needs air, without you he's nothing, just a shell of the man he was before he lost you.

"Y/n, please...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Zukos voice cracks slightly.

You purse your lips together tightly.

It's so very tempting to close the gap between the two of you, forgiving him just felt right. Maybe it was just the your heart talking over logic. Your headspace is messed up severely, the wound is still fresh in your brain and heart.

"Zuko-"

Katara stops you, stepping in front of you.

"Leave. You've done enough, you are not welcome here."

"Y/n...please." It was strange seeing him so weak for once, pleading you. Practically on his knees for forgiveness.

"You own my heart."

It hurt you to watch him get treated so badly. He deserved it, mostly. Everyone has the right to be angry with him. Chasing Aang across the globe, trying to kill you then after everything at Ba sing se. It was almost unforgivable. Almost.

•°•°•°•

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[southerngothicchic]

Do You Think I'm a Nasty Girl

Hi! So this is my attempt at getting back into the groove of writing again, and what better way than with a lovers to enemies to lovers again fic?

On a summer night in '84, while your parents are away, you decide to test out their new hot tub and wind up getting an unexpected visit from your annoyingly hot neighbor.

After setting up your radio with your favorite mix tape, you slip out of a dainty, pink kimono, revealing a low-cut black bathing suit. It's cut high, on the sides, showing off more skin than you would ever dare to at the local pool. It was your latest scandalous mall purchase, and you knew your parents would freak if they saw you wearing it. Luckily, you had the house and hot tub to yourself for the weekend and could wear or do whatever you wanted.

You press play, on the tape deck, before easing into the warm water. You wince a little, and check the temperature gage, on the side, worrying you had it set too high. It was previously set at 104 degrees and you immediately lower it to 100. You then sit on the edge of the tub, waiting for the water to cool slightly. Turning your head, your eyes scan the empty backyard as an odd feeling comes over you, making you wonder if you're truly alone.

Shaking your head, you tell yourself to stop being so paranoid before lowering yourself into the water.

The whirring of the jets almost drowns out your music, so you scramble over to the side and lean over to adjust the volume.

Laura Branigan's Self Control fills the night air as you settle back into your spot, nestling your head against the plush headrest behind you. A sigh of relaxation then leaves your lips as you close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the swirling water.

You drift into a sort of meditative state, as all the sounds around you fade into a low hum. You're so completely absorbed in your own world that you're oblivious to the sound of someone entering your backyard.

The usually distinct creaking of the wooden gate doesn't reach your ears, as it's slowly opened then quickly shut.

Careful footfalls on the manicured grass also go unnoticed as the visitor walks up to the back patio. They stand, in front of you, smirk on their lips as they admire the serene state you're in. They debate whether or not they should disturb you but ultimately decide to make their presence known.

"And here I thought you were having a party and didn't invite me..." they say, causing your eyes to instantly open.

"What the fuck, Harrington?" You ask, with a glare, trying to keep your composure, as your heart feels like it's going to pound right out of your chest. "How'd you get back here?"

"The gate was unlocked," he casually replies, gesturing to it with his thumb. "And like I said, I thought there was a party, given the music and all."

Rolling your eyes, you sit up slightly and lean over to turn down the music.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but it's just me," you remark, glancing up at him.

"Who said I was disappointed?" He smiles, his eyes meeting yours before traveling lower to your partially obscured cleavage.

"This song's a bit scandalous for you, don't you think?" He then asks, with one hand resting on his hip, while the other points to your radio.

You haven't been paying attention to the song that's playing, and when you realize it's Nasty Girl by Vanity 6, you sigh dramatically.

"Are you, of all people, offended by it?" You challenge, getting up to move closer to him.

He scoffs. "Of course not, but I didn't think you listened to stuff like this."

"Why? Because it's too risqué? Too obscene?"

You lean over the edge of the tub while he opens his mouth ready to respond. The sight of your glistening body causes him to freeze up.

"Kinda, yeah..." he mumbles, while you lean back into the water.

"I guess there's a lot you still don't know about me," you say with a smile.

He licks his lips before taking a step closer. "Why don't we fix that? Can I join you, or is this just a party for one?"

Deciding to up the brattiness, you roll your eyes and sigh.

"I guess you can, as long as you keep your opinions on my taste in music to yourself."

A grin spreads across his lips. "I can do that."

He then kicks off his Nikes before pulling his white t-shirt over his head. You watch a little too intently as he peels off his tight Levi's, leaving a pair of tiny green shorts underneath.

He sits on the edge of the tub before swinging his legs around and lowering himself into the water.

"Ooh, this is nice," he breathes, as he sits across from you. "I wish my parents would get one of these."

"You should tell Daddy you want one. I know the girls would love it," you snark as he shakes his head.

"Is that all you think of me?" He asks, defeatedly.

"You've never given me the opportunity to have a different perception of you," you explain, averting your eyes from his.

He sighs. "I know, but I'm not that guy anymore. At least, I'm trying not to be."

"And you expect me to just take that at face value?" You counter, unable to keep the hostility out of your voice.

"I guess not..." he begins, as he shifts in his seat.

Your eyes widen as he moves to sit next to you. He's suddenly so close, with his thigh pressing against yours as he reaches up to cup your cheek.

His gaze cuts through the steamy air as he leans in, so close the tip of his nose grazes yours as he finally continues, "I'll have to prove it to you, then."

You're struggling to speak, let alone breathe, as it's all too much. His thumb gently caresses your skin as he waits for some sarcastic retort that never comes.

Your mind's then flooded with memories of the first time he held you like this, the first time you felt his breath on your skin, of so many firsts, its overwhelming.

You manage to whisper his name, causing him to whisper yours in return.

"You can pretend to hate me all you want, but I know you missed this," he breathes, as he ghosts his lips over yours.

You resist the urge to lift your arms out of the water and wrap them around him.

"You're already off to a rough start, Harrington," you reply, relishing in his annoyance at your continued use of his last name.

"But am I wrong? Don't you miss me at least a little bit?" He asks, brushing his lips against yours, teasingly.

You sigh as you feel yourself weakening for him all over again. You wish more than anything that you could hate him, but no matter how much you want to, you just... can't. It's what lured you into his bed, his backseat, anywhere he could get his hands on you.

He made you feel so pretty and wanted and possibly loved... until someone else caught his eye. He'd then treat you as an afterthought, especially at school, practically staring you down as you walked by, with his arm around another girl.

That's the closest you got to hating him, and for the rest of the school year, you believed you did. You tried everything you could to make yourself forget the smug allure of Steve Harrington.

And it worked, until tonight.

Your hand grips the slippery bench underneath you, as he nuzzles his nose against yours, content with teasing you all night, if he has to, just to finally hear what he wants.

"Yes," you quietly reply, your voice barely audible over the sound of water swirling around your bodies. "I missed you."

He pulls away, only to look into your eyes, and smiles.

"I missed you, too, honey."

You immediately bristle at his pet name, as all your hurt feelings come rushing back.

"Don't..." you warn, raising your hand and pressing it against his chest, stopping him as he goes to lean in again. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

"I do, though," he quickly defends, placing his hand over yours. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and how I'm so stupid to have lost what we had."

"Really?" You ask, allowing yourself to gaze into his eyes.

"Yeah," he nods. "You're the last person I ever wanted to hurt and I'm sorry for being such a dumbass."

His apology makes you crack a smile and he thinks you've never looked prettier.

"It was always you," he breathily continues as you cradle his face. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"I just... don't want you to ever hate me..." he quietly admits, as you slowly pull him towards you.

"I could never hate you," you softly reassure, right before your lips touch.

"Promise?" He whispers, almost muffled, against your lips.

"I promise."

You each then melt into an overdue kiss. His perfect nose presses against your cheek while your fingers curl in the ends of his damp hair.

"Fuck, honey, I've missed you so much," he breathes, between kisses.

You sigh his name, needing to feel more of him. You break the kiss, leaving him dazed and panting, while you carefully maneuver yourself onto his lap. Your knees press against the hard plastic of the bench underneath him, but you don't mind how it feels when Steve's hands are immediately on your hips, helping to guide your movements.

You lean in to kiss him again, and he's already moaning into your mouth with every grind of your hips. You smile, against his cheek, as you press kisses across it, kissing your way to his jawline.

You feel his wet fingertips glide up your back before his nails dig into your skin when he feels you lightly nibble on his neck.

"Did you miss this too, Stevie?" You coo, glancing up at him.

He nods before his eyes roll back from another grind of your hips.

"No one else ever really took the time to find out what you liked, did they? So many selfish lovers... though I thought that's what you wanted?" You ask, your voice sickeningly sweet.

He groans when he feels your lips at his ear.

"Someone as selfish as you," you whisper, before softly biting his earlobe.

You feel him shudder underneath you, so painfully hard and desperate for either some friction or release.

"You're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" He then shakily asks, as you pull away to look into his eyes.

You shift slightly, freeing up both hands so you can place them on each side of his pretty face. You lean in again, lips just close enough to tease when you reply, "Nope."

"I'm sorry, honey, alright? I'll apologize all night if I have to..." he rasps, sounding as if he's on the verge of tears.

"I just might make you," you smile, enjoying your newfound power over Steve Harrington.

"Let me make it up to you," he pleads, lowering his hands back down to your hips. "I'll spend the night with you... the whole weekend if that's what it takes for you to forgive me."

"You really care about me that much?" You ask, combing your fingers through his hair.

He nods. "Let's go inside and I'll show you just how much."

You're both then scrambling into your house. Little droplets of water fall from your bodies as you hurry up the stairs. The towels around your shoulders doing little to prevent water from dripping everywhere.

The house is also quite chilly, as you had the A/C cranked up all day, so you're shivering as you enter your bedroom. You stand next to your bed, clutching your towel around you, while Steve stands in front of you. He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you to him.

"Oh no, honey, are you cold?" He asks, cupping your cheek, with his other hand.

You nod, timidly, your earlier attitude seemingly nonexistent.

"I'll have to warm you up then," he replies, before pressing his lips to yours.

He pushes your towel from your shoulders, and it joins his on the floor. You whimper into the kiss when you feel his large palm flat against your back before his hand ventures lower. He gives your ass a good squeeze, earning another whimper from you.

You then feel him grinning as his hands continue to roam your body.

"You're so fuckin' sexy in this, it's driving me crazy," he breathes, after temporarily breaking the kiss. "I kinda want you to leave it on while I fuck you..."

You sigh his name before pulling him into another kiss. It's messy and desperate as you lay back on your bed, with him on top of you.

He nestles himself perfectly between your legs, and now it's his turn to tease you. He grinds himself against you, the thin material you're both wearing making it more tortuous until you feel him move the crotch of your bathing suit to the side.

You're already squirming under him as you raise your hips, chasing the movement of his fingers.

He's smiling again, unable to hide how smug he feels as he just glides his fingers over you.

"Not so tough now, are you?" He purrs, against your cheek, while your hands are already twisting in his hair.

You try to speak, but he stops you.

"Its okay. I deserved it, and like I said, I'm gonna spend all night making it up to you."

He presses a couple wet kisses to your cheek, before slipping two of his long fingers inside you. You're already moaning at the stretch and the way he's suckling on your neck.

"Shit, honey, you're tighter than I remember..." he pants, sounding as ragged as you feel. "Guess no one else fucked you like I did, huh?"

You shake your head. "N-No, just you, Steve..." Your voice trails off into a series of moans as he adds another finger.

"Didn't think so," he says, glancing up at you.

"Look at me, honey," he softly commands, and once you open your eyes you see how he's gazing at you with complete adoration.

"So fuckin' pretty," he breathes, before crashing his lips to yours.

Your nails claw at his biceps as he mouths at your jaw. He buries his face in your neck, then flicks his tongue over a newly formed hickie. He plans to leave several more all over your body, wanting to cover you in little reminders that you're his girl again, and always will be.

You moan his name, your hand gripping his wrist when you feel the familiar waves of pleasure building.

"This is all for you, honey, remember?" He reminds, breathless. "I have to earn your forgiveness, even if it takes all night..."

You throw your head back, against your pretty, pink pillow as the most intense orgasm you've ever had washes over you.

Steve's lips are at your ear, talking you through it, praising you for how good you are for him.

His words have you biting your lip and squirming all over again. You gaze at him dreamily as he places his fingers between his lips. A soft moan escapes him as he tastes you.

"Just as sweet as I remember," he grins, before you grab his smug face and pull him in for a kiss.

You're moaning for him all over again when you taste yourself on his tongue.

"So, how am I doing so far? Want me to still spend the night?" He quietly asks, still breathless.

"What do you think, Harrington?" You snarkily reply, running your fingers through his tousled hair, before pulling slightly.

With a groan, he kisses you again, knowing you're both in for a long night.

[stargazedwinchester]

Too Soon? | Sam

Summary: Charlie teams you both up with the Winchester brothers for a case. After a very long road trip toward a hunt, someone's caught feelings for you.

Word count: 1,113

Let me know if you want a part 2!

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

Charlie's excited grin means two things; there's a new World of Warcraft DLC, or she really wants you to do something with her. You huff, loosening your grip from her hands. "Char, I honestly really don't want to. I love you, I do, but..."

"Why, Y/N? It'll be so fun. Sam and Dean are so fun and so cool, you'll really like them. Even if it's a shitty boring hunt, at least you'll have me." She bounces up and down on the spot. "Please? Pretty please?" She begs, her ruby hair shining from the daylight coming through the window behind her. She looks at you in your eyes, pleading for you to once just say 'yes'.

You had been childhood best friends with Charlie ever since you both were bullied at school for playing video games during lunch breaks and recess. Both of you were the very few girls who would actually spend time around nerdy guys and weren't put off by them. Not that anyone gave them a chance, though.

"Okay, fine. I'll go with you. Just this once, though, you owe me." You give in, a smile creeping onto your face. What's the worst that could happen?

After Charlie's parents passed in a horrible accident when she was 14, she had been adopted by your father as both families were extremely close, good friends. It was almost like a dream come true for both of you at the time, being able to actually have a sister who's also your best friend? That's the best thing to ever happen to a child.

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

You exit Charlie's beetle to a place that doesn't remotely resemble a home. "We're here?" You ask, squinting your eyes from the mid-summer sun blaring into your pupils. "Yep. They said to meet here." She says, checking her phone for any text messages. While glancing over at Charlie's phone, you notice two huge men walking toward you. "They're here!" She announces whilst the shorter man opens up his arms for her.

"Charlie!" He laughs gleefully, and she gives him a massive hug. You stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do. "Hey, I'm Y/N." You greet the taller one, he runs his hand through his hair, before shaking yours. "Hi Y'N. I'm Sam. Nice to meet you." You look up at him flashing him a quick smile. "I assume the other guy is Dean?" You question, and Charlie pulls your arm towards her. "Y/N! This is Dean, he's my favourite. No offence, Sam." She chuckles, and Sam grunts. "None taken." He says. "Hi, Dean. Nice to meet you." You hold out your hand for him to shake it, and he takes it. "Nice to meet you. We've heard lots about you." He shows you a warm smile, his eyes a lovely shade of green that you haven't seen before.

"The gangs back together!" Charlie exclaims, you furrow your brows. "Back together? I've never met these guys in my life."

"You get what I mean."

♱⁺. ⋆˙✧⋆✧˙⋆⊹.♱

After lots of arguing about who gets shotgun, Charlie sits in the front with Dean, and you're sat in the back with Sam. Charlie passes you snacks every so often so you don't feel left out.

"So, YN," Sam starts, taking his gaze off of the trees speeding past the car. "How long have you known Charlie?" He asks, his hazel eyes meeting yours. "My whole life. She's my sister." You trail your sentence, not understanding why Sam would ask this. Dean chuckles. "Sammy, you didn't know that?" He and Charlie start laughing before she reaches over the seat to face you both. "I never told him this. Sorry, Sam." She pops another snack in her mouth, and Sam rolls his eyes. "Perks of being the least favourite, I guess. I'm out of the loop, guys." He throws his hands up in the air, a grin on his face. "It's okay. I'll tell you everything you need to know." You turn yourself round to face him, starting with the story of how you met her, where you grew up and everything that happened with Charlies' parents and your own.

The sun is setting pretty quick, the clouds turning salmon and the sky a denim shade. Dean smoothly parked the Impala outside of a small '70s diner, you all climb out and walk inside to find a free table. Luckily, the place seems busy so you assume it's got good food. You're starving at this point so to be honest, you'd eat anything at this point. You sit opposite Sam, but next to Charlie who's already looking at a menu. Scanning the table, there are only two menus. Dean and Charlie are so lost in their own world that they wouldn't even think about sharing a menu. You snatch the menu out of Charlie's hand and usher her to share with Dean while yourself and Sam work something out between you both.

You stretch your legs out and accidentally hit something long in front of you, assuming it's the table leg, you stretch out further. "That's my leg." Sam says, catching your eyes, then quickly looking away. "Sorry," you mumbled, seeing him act so awkward was somewhat charming to you, how his good looks could so easily get him so many women, yet he seems so reserved and polite. There really aren't that many men in the world like this, at all.

His golden eyes meet yours again, but you're already staring back at him. Your eyes widened in surprise, you didn't even think that he'd look at you again. "What?" He huffs, a smirk appearing. Oh, he knows he's hot. A dimple forms and suddenly, you're really attracted. "Me? Nothing. I was daydreaming." You lie.

The waitress comes over and takes everyones orders, and Dean turns around to allow you both to order. He notices how flushed your cheeks are and Sam's sly grin, and he puts two and two together. He nudges Charlie, and they both glance at you, then Sam, then back at each other with a huge smile on each of their faces. "Look at you two love birds," Dean starts, and you roll your eyes. "Please, don't start." You can't stop a simper from taking shape on your face, Charlie slaps your arm. "You two would be so cute together!" She scoffs, you've never seen her this happy about something before, it's almost scary.

"No, it's far too soon to say anything like that, Char!" You hide your face in embarrassment. "Am I not allowed to make friends?" You say, hoping Sam would have something to add.

"Is it too soon?" Sam says, grinning from ear to ear.

[groenendaelfic]

Hey,

haven't seen you around a lot lately. Just writing to check in. how is it going? Wish you a nice evening

it is going, thank you for asking!

Life has been very busy these past few months but is moving in a hopefully good and definitely exciting direction.

In this particular order (if memory serves correctly) I've:

decided to move halfway across the continent

marked the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life

had other people mark the one year anniversary of the worst time of my life with all that entails

quit my job (I'd been planning that for a while)

had my boss and hr offer to let me go instead and half my notice period to two months (aka 'give' me more money and facilitate my move, yay pity)

started looking for a place to live and organizing my move

found a new job in a slightly different corner of halfway across the continent (I start July 1st)

got my request for citizenship approved (epic timing guys)

found a place to live in an awesome area (I will be able to do all my errands on foot and my new job is only a short bike ride away)

told everyone I was leaving for sure

signed the paperwork to have my uncle in law take over the place here

had my cousin offer to move my stuff with his remodeled fire engine in exchange for gas and (bridge) tolls

did all the paperwork in the universe ever

started saying my goodbyes for now (I still have lots of family and friends etc here so I'll be back a lot)

had my cousin tell me he'd make a bro trip out of the move because his friends really wanted to see a basic bridge, and room and board plus no girls was all the compensation they needed for getting to carry my boxes

said thanks but no thanks to citizenship (sorry Wille, you'll always be my King)

was asked if I minded the move taking a bit longer because the guys wanted to stop for totally unplanned soccer (a not insignificant part of their motivation if not a deciding factor I dare say)

did more move and job leaving planning and paperwork

welcomed, fed and watered a bunch of guys really into soccer bridges and very disappointed I didn't have more boxes they could compete carrying

prepared a big lunch basket and said goodbye to said guys and my boxes

sat down to write this list wondering where I should celebrate midsummer (aka do I want to travel back and forth to get everything ready or stay until it's time to hand in my work laptop etc)

Phew, yes. Also a million other things which won't come to mind right now. Thank you to everyone who left me such kind messages btw. I appreciate them so much but am still learning to respond to kindness and compliments without awkwardness. They nevertheless give me life.

In more interesting news to everyone here I've also done a lot of writing.

Mostly on One Wild Summer, which has already grown into a monster, but I've been writing the exciting parts later on and still guesstimate a 15k or so stretch which needs bridging to get to all the fun stuff I've already written.

but also on The Prince and the Barista and As Long as We Have Each Other. I only need to make it coherent and once again fill the gap to where I stopped posting.

plus *cue exasperated sighs* I'm also 9k+ into a new fic! The (once more) absolutely most self-indulgent thing I've ever written in this fandom and something I swore I never would turn into a proper fic. Expect the prologue for that (which was meant to be 500 words and not 5k) soonish.

Everything else including regular updates not before mid to late July though I think. Because moving and starting a new job and life means busy times and while I can write scribble down connected sentences with half a mind, I can't beta read and edit with half a mind.

tl;dr: I am still writing yr fic and haven't abandoned my fics, but am also busy moving. goodbye cloudberries and lingonberries, hello wineberries vineyards and appleberries apple orchards.

[chelseachilly]

how deep is your love

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: ben's drunk and can't stop telling you how much he loves you 🩵 warnings: none :) word count: 1.4k

author’s note: written based on this post from @benchilwellx bc it was such a cute concept, just a quick fluffy little one-shot to get the writing juices flowing :) sorry i haven't updated this love in a couple weeks but life has been crazy! hoping to get the next chapter posted in the next week but enjoy this in the meantime 💗

also for the sake of this fic let's pretend chelsea didn't have a game this weekend, tbh would rather forget the one they did play lol

-

In the two years you’ve known Ben, and just over a year since you’ve been a couple, you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen him truly drunk. 

With the football season preventing him from indulging too much for most of the year, and fitness at the top of his mind even in the off-season, he rarely gets the opportunity. Usually, when you go out, he either drives or makes sure to get you home safely in an Uber, and if you’ve had a really fun night, he’ll help you take off your makeup or even hold your hair back if necessary. 

So it’s an interesting turn of events when you show up a bit late to his best mate Harvey’s birthday celebration at a fancy club in Soho and find your boyfriend clearly tipsy already. 

He’s sitting in a booth next to Tom and Harvey singing along to some 90s R&B song, a drink in hand that is definitely not his first, or even his second or third. He’s a bit of a sight to behold, as he so rarely drinks this much, but you can’t help but smile at the sight of him letting loose - you know how much pressure he’s been under lately with the captain duties. 

“Babe!” Ben exclaims with wide eyes and an even wider grin as soon as he sees you, stumbling a bit as he gets up from the booth. “You’re here!”

He quickly makes his way to you and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, and you can taste the liquor on his tongue. You sink into him nonetheless, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms after a long day of work.

As soon as you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours and takes a deep breath, his thumbs drawing circles on your waistline.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, babe,“ you smile back at him warmly, enjoying this affection, no matter how much tequila is playing a part. “You pretty drunk?”

“Mhm,” Ben says with a slightly dazed expression, his eyes still focused on your lips. “The boys were making me take shots since there’s no game this week.”

You chuckle slightly, rolling your eyes at Ben’s - and by extension, your - good friends at the booth behind him, dancing and ordering another round of shots. You’re glad Harvey’s having a good birthday.

“I’m happy you’re having fun, baby, you deserve it,” you say sincerely, cupping his face with both hands before leaning in to kiss him again. “Now, it seems I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Go sit with the boys, I’ll get you a drink,” Ben offers, pressing another quick kiss to your cheek before heading to the bar.

You nod with a smile and go to sit next to Harvey, pulling him into a quick hug and wishing him a happy birthday.

“Now, which one of you is responsible for my drunk boyfriend?” you inquire, raising an eyebrow as you glance back at Ben, who is still smiling lovingly at you from the bar. 

“That would be the birthday boy,” Tom chuckles. “He’s bloody entertaining though, isn’t he?”

“Yes, but I’m the one who’s going to have to deal with him hungover tomorrow,” you joke.

The last time he was hungover, after one fun night on the yacht in Italy this summer, Ben had forced you to spend the whole day in bed cuddling with him. You pretended to be annoyed for about five minutes before giving in - partly because you can never turn down his cuddles, and partly because you were pretty hungover too. 

Speaking of how adorable your boyfriend is, within minutes he’s headed back over to you with that same dopey grin on his face and two vodka sodas. It’s your favourite, and his go-to during the season when he’s watching his calories.

“For you, my darling,” Ben says in an overly posh accent as he hands you the glass, making you giggle.

He then practically shoves Tom over to make room for himself to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively and kissing your cheek. You can feel yourself blushing from the unusually overt PDA, as he typically reserves this kind of affection for home, but you don’t mind.

“I love you,” Ben whispers once again against your temple, burying his nose in your hair. “So, so much. Missed you today.”

It’s amazing the way those three words still give you the same butterflies as the first time you heard them, making you smile like a lovestruck fool.

“I missed you too, baby,” you murmur, “I’m sorry I couldn’t make dinner. You know how crazy work has been.”

Ben and the boys had been a bit disappointed when you weren’t able to join them for dinner earlier, mainly because you’ve been so busy at work lately due to a recent promotion that your friends have hardly seen you. Even Ben’s time with you has been limited, especially with him also putting in extra time at Cobham as captain while Reece is out. 

It’s been an exciting time for both of you career-wise, but it’s also meant spending less time together, which is probably why Ben is being so clingy right now and why you’re welcoming his clinginess.

“S’okay, I’m just glad you’re here now,” Ben says, kissing your cheek a few more times before returning the conversation with the boys.

You contently settle into Ben’s side, his arm still firmly wrapped around you, and sip your drink while they talk about football and the girl Anish is seeing. When Ben interrupts the other guys’ suggestions of playing it cool and waiting to text her back by telling his friend to be honest and just tell her how he feels, your heart swells with pride that your boyfriend is the most emotionally intelligent guy you know.

“Since Ben’s the only one successfully in a relationship, I’m gonna take his advice,” Anish laughs, raising his drink to you. “Unless he just got lucky with Y/N.”

“Nah, he won me over fair and square,” you say, turning your face to meet Ben’s eyes and smiling lovingly at him. “I’m the lucky one.”

The way Ben’s eyes shine and his lip quivers slightly at your words makes it impossible for you to resist leaning in to press a quick peck to his mouth. It’s not your fault he’s so adorable, nor is it your fault that Ben deepens the kiss and pulls you closer.

“Alright, we’re going to get more drinks, we’ll leave you to it,” Harvey says with an eye-roll as the rest of your group gets up and starts to walk over to the bar.

You pull back from Ben’s kisses, feeling a bit embarrassed by how touchy you’re being, but he only takes the opportunity to grab your waist and hoist you into his lap.

“Baby,” you sigh, really enjoying the warmth of his arms and the little kisses he’s leaving on your neck. “Don’t you think we should cool it a bit? It’s Harvey’s birthday, doubt he wants to watch us do this all night.”

“Can’t help it,” Ben mumbles into your neck, sending a shiver up your spine. “I just love you so much.”

Ben never shies away from reminding you of this fact, often the last three words he says to you before bed or when you’re leaving the house, but he tends to tell you how much he loves you even more than normal when he’s drinking. You’re not sure if he forgets that he already told you multiple times or just that he feels particularly lovey when intoxicated. Either way, you love it.

“I love you so much too, Benji,” you smile, kissing his forehead and adorning the way his eyes flutter shut in contentment. “Why don’t we stay for one more drink and then go home and have sex on the couch and fall asleep watching Love Island?”

His eyes light up like a child who’s just been offered ice cream before bed, and he nods eagerly.

“Alright, but you’re gonna have to let me off your lap, babe,” you chuckle, ruffling his hair. “Unless you wanna get roasted mercilessly.”

“Don’t care,” Ben grumbles into your hair, but when you pull back and give him a warning look, he sighs and gives in. “Fine, but we’re dancing.”

You squeal slightly as you’re lifted off your feet, Ben dragging you to the dance floor. You might be exhausted and ready to go home at this point, but you’re content to spend the next few minutes dancing to some Calvin Harris song in the arms of your drunk boyfriend, him whispering how much he loves you between the choruses.

[runningincircl3s]

Nothing Ever After

Noah Sebastian x Reader x Vinny Mauro

Chapter One

chapter warnings: none :)

yippee the first chapter is here!! pls bare with me it gets better, as i'm posting this i’m currently writing chapter 12 and personally i’m giggling and kicking my feet <3 i’ll also be cross posting this on ao3 when i remember my password!

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Y/n, are you listening to me?" Bryan asks over the phone.

You were in the middle of making lunch, so your phone was left on the side on speaker as you got the bits you needed out of the fridge, shutting the door with your hip as you walked back to the counter.

"Oh sorry, what did you say?" 

"I asked if you wanted to join me and the boys on tour this summer. It'll be good to get some experience, not a lot of bands hire photographers who haven't had any touring experience, and I could certainly do with the help."

"You've got to be kidding.” You slammed the cucumber you were holding on the kitchen counter, shaking your head. “Bry, this is a joke, right?"

"No? Why would I be joking?"

"You're asking me to come on tour with you- with Bad Omens? Isn’t that in a week? You want me to go on tour, next week?!"

"Yes...?” He chuckled, "what's so unbelievable about it? You're my best friend, y/n, I wouldn't ask anybody else."

"Holy fuck." You threw your head in your hands. "I've only met the guys once before, Bry, and you know how that went down!"

"That's why I'm asking you this now. We can fly you out to stay with us for a week or so in California before we leave so you can get to know everyone properly. At least that way it won't be awkward when we're all forced to sleep on each other in the bus." Bryan laughed, knowing the thought of sleeping with at least probably 6 guys on a bus was the last thing you'd want to be doing this summer. 

"Well you guys can sleep on the bus, I'm booking hotels."

"So is that a yes...?" 

You paused and thought for a moment. This was an opportunity you would never be offered again in a million years, people would kill for this and you’d never forgive yourself if you turned it down.

"You fucker." You grinned, "I'm in."

Bryan booked you a flight that afternoon to LA, leaving the next night. You rushed around your apartment, throwing bits into your suitcase, most likely over packing because you couldn't help but panic that you would forget something. 

You couldn’t sleep that night, half of you feeling like you were going to throw up from nerves, half from excitement. The next day you sent a text to Bryan when you got in the taxi to leave for the airport, and he arranged for Matt to pick you up once you landed. 

To save even more costs, Bryan said that Noah had a spare room at his house, Jesse had recently moved out and he was happy to let you stay whilst you were there. The thought of staying with Noah made you feel slightly anxious, to say you had a little crush on him was an understatement. Ever since Bryan started working for them you'd been absolutely smitten by him, he was quite possibly the most gorgeous man you have ever laid eyes on. 

Bryan gave Matt your number, so you could text him when you landed. The flight went by pretty quick as you caught up on missed sleep and listened to a couple new albums from your favourite artists that you hadn't had the chance to listen to yet.

Once you'd gotten your bags back and gone through security, you let Matt know you were here and he was already on his way to pick you up. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Y/n!" Matt called out, and all of a sudden you spotted him getting out of his car. "Great to see you again." 

He took your suitcase and bags, putting them in the car, opening the passenger door for you too. 

"It's been a few years," you smile, "how are you? How are the dogs?"

"I'm doing pretty good. I moved recently, and the dogs love the new place, there's so much more room for them to run about and play. Me and Alyson are actually thinking of getting another one."

"Awh cute! So you guys are still together?"

"Yeah, I can’t believe it's been 5 years now. We have our ups and downs but I can't see myself with anyone else." You notice he can't help but smile as he talks about his girlfriend. 

"What about the guys? Are any of the others in relationships?"

"Ruffilo and Jolly have partners. Folio’s still getting over his ex and Noah's just Noah," he chuckles, "what's your love life currently like then?" 

"Well... it's non-existent. I've been working so hard for the last couple years I haven't had time to date or anything. I download and delete dating apps every other week, I don't like using them but there's no other way I'd meet anyone."

The rest of the journey back to Noah's house you continued to catch up with Matt. Besides Bryan, who's been your best friend since you were at school, you spoke to Matt the most out of the guys from the band since he was always active on social media. You often interacted with Folio and Nicholas (sometimes Jolly), but it wasn't ever much more than a happy birthday each year, or comments on each other’s instagram posts. Noah was an entirely different story. 

Finally, Matt pulled up to Noah's house, parking on the driveway. You felt nervous, you wanted to tell the guys somethings come up at home and quickly book a flight back, but then you heard the wheels of your suitcase rolling over the ground as Matt handed it to you and the door to Noah's house opening. 

"Y/n!" It was Folio, you immediately grinned back at him as he stood at the door, holding his arms out to welcome you with a hug, "it's great to see you again! How long has it been? 3 years?" 

"I know, it's crazy! Look how tatted you are now!" You felt like a grandma commenting on how tall their grandsons got. 

"You're lucky Bryan asked in advance for you to stay in Jesse’s old room," another voice spoke as you walked into the house, and then you spotted him, "Folio's now sleeping on the couch." Noah laughed. 

"Shit, sorry Nick," you chuckled, "but thanks for letting me stay, Noah. I was gonna book a hotel but when I told Bryan the price for just one night he didn't let me."

"Hey, no worries," he smiled, getting up from the sofa, "we can't wait to have you with us this tour. It is your first, isn't it?"

"Yep!"

"Cool,” he took your suitcase from you and led you up the stairs, “here’s your room, it’s actually the biggest in the house. I was contemplating switching so it could be mine but I haven’t had the time,” he chuckled, “but I think it works better now as the guest room.” 

“It’s lovely, thank you Noah.” 

“No problem! I put fresh sheets on this morning and everything… Also we’re getting the bathroom redone up here as there’s something wrong with the plumbing. But feel free to use the one connected to my room, and there’s also one downstairs but I’m sure you don’t wanna be going all the way down there in the middle of the night.” 

“That’s okay, I’m just grateful for the room.” You said, looking around. It was a rather big room, almost as big as your entire apartment. The walls were painted grey, with a few framed art pieces on the wall. The bed was against the wall by the window, the white sheets complementing the wooden frame. There was a tv on the wall and a dresser beneath it with a few Naruto funko pops decorating it.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me.” He smiled, and you felt your stomach do backflips. Noah looked a lot different to how you remembered him, his long hair was now short, his nails he had painted black were now plain, the skinny jeans were replaced by black joggers, but the most noticeable difference was his face, which seemed a lot more structured now, it's as if the haircut had changed everything. Sure, you had seen pictures of him on social media, but it was nothing compared to seeing him in person again. 

“I do, I’m essentially a stranger to you.” You chuckled, but he shook his head. 

“No you’re not, we met before, remember? Bryan’s 25th, in New York?”

You were slightly surprised he remembered the details, but then you remembered what happened at Bryan’s 25th birthday party in New York, and by the look on Noah’s face you could tell he also remembered. 

“Don’t bring that up!” You hid your face in your hands in embarrassment. 

“I basically had to babysit you!” He laughed, “a 23 year old woman who couldn’t handle her alcohol, spewed all across my jeans-”

“Hey, I got it on my dress too! And that was fucking expensive.” 

“I know, it was all you kept saying.” He laughed. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t even know if I apologised to you that night.” 

“You didn’t, but Bryan did. We had to kick Folio out of his hotel room that night because you were in no state to go anywhere without us, he had to share with Jolly in the end.”

“Poor guy probably hates me at this point.” You laughed, and Noah smiled. 

“I’ll leave you to unpack, I’ll be downstairs. There’s some things I need to double check with Matt before Thursday.” 

“Okay, thanks.” You smiled as he left, shutting the door behind himself. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Later that night, the guys were all downstairs watching some movie they’d been talking about for a while. You came down not long before it ended, as Noah said he was ordering food in for around 7pm. 

You sat down on the couch next to Noah, although there was a big gap between the two of you. You checked your phone for a moment, seeing if anything happened in the time it took you to walk down the stairs.

“So is anyone else coming to stay before tour?” You asked as Orie turned the movie off after watching the scene that played after the end credits. 

“Uh, I think Nicholas is coming the day before we leave.” Noah answered, reaching for his phone. “Jolly only lives down the street now with his girlfriend so he doesn’t need to travel too far, and Ash lives nearby-”

“Ash?” You question, not having heard that name before. 

“My personal trainer, he comes on tour with us as security when he’s available.” Now that he’s mentioned it, you realise he does look pretty buff. 

However, you quickly snap out of your thoughts as the doorbell rings and Folio (as he was closest) gets up to answer it. 

“Guys, foods here!” Folio shouts from the kitchen as he puts it down on the counter. 

You all get up and make your way to the kitchen, you help Folio to work out whose is whose as Noah gets out some plates and Orie gets the forks. You take it through to the living room and Noah passes you the remote to put something on whilst you all eat. You settle on some random show as you know it’ll just be background noise, you have a lot of catching up to do. 

“So, Nick, you still go fishing?” You asked, shoving a forkful of food into your mouth. 

“Yeah, I actually went at the weekend with some of my friends before leaving to come here.”

“Wait, so where do you live now?”

“Back in Maryland, baby!” He grinned, grabbing his beer from the coffee table, “I’ve been thinking about moving again though, the only reason I stayed was because… well-” 

You realised where this was leading.

“Why don’t you think about it whilst we’re touring? About moving, I mean. A fresh start might do you good.” You sent him a smile, which he reciprocated. 

“That’s what the guys keep telling me, and now Noah has a couple rooms free I’ve said I’ll think about it.” 

“So what about you, y/n?” Noah asked, “would you ever consider moving somewhere like here? I mean when your career starts taking off after this, it’ll be better to be somewhere where you can travel more easily and there’s more connections.” 

“I haven't even thought about that…” You admit, “and it’s if my career takes off. I don’t want to get too excited and then not get booked for years, or to go on this tour and find that I hate it.”

“Hey!” Folio looked genuinely offended, “you’re not gonna hate it, I promise you that.” 

“It’s just… I don’t know what to expect, and there’s nothing I hate more than the unknown.” 

Noah moves his hand to rub your knee as you were sat beside him with your legs crossed, your plate in your lap, as if to comfort you, to reassure you- but it only took your breath away.

“Everything will be okay, y/n. I know where you’re coming from, I’m the same. Every morning and night we go through the plan for the day, where we have to travel, how long it’ll take, how long the breaks will be, if we’ve booked a table to go to eat. I promise we’ll all look out for you... It’s not like I haven't done it before.” He smirks. 

“I told you not to bring that up!” You slap him playfully, and the other two guys in the room look over in confusion. All Noah had to mention was ‘Bryan’s 25th’ and they both got it. 

“God, how could we forget.” Folio laughed, and Orie just watched in confusion. 

“Fuck you guys.” You said, reaching for your pepsi, “maybe on this tour you’ll get so drunk that I’ve got to take care of you!” You raise your eyebrows at Noah. 

“Hm, only problem is I don’t drink anymore so I don’t see that happening.” 

“You don't? Wow, sorry Noah I didn't know that. That's got to have been tough.” 

“It was in the beginning, but now it doesn’t bother me. I like waking up with a clear head in the mornings.” 

That smile was going to be the death of you.

——————————

@miss570 @miamore0570 @lma1986 @rumoured-whispers @thisbicc @dominuslunae @jilliemiw86 @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard

[ginsengkitten]

༺ Beautiful Dangerous ༻

༺☆༻

Chapter Eleven

Written in Plain Sight

A/N:

Tysm for your patience with this one. May is a difficult month for me for personal reasons. I’m still writing and I’m so excited for you guys see where this heads. I hope you guys enjoy <3

Dear Slash,

Im sorry I didn't write you sooner. Things have been a little crazy since I got home. Well, not home actually. My parents have turned me in to this special all girls Christian school that specializes in "troubled young women". Apparently they can legally do that even though I've just turned 18! I never agreed to it, they just left me here. In the middle of nowhere- with these weird nuns. They haven't told me how often mail is sent out so I'm not sure how often I'll write, but I promise I will.

I'm sorry how I left things. I didn't know they were coming to take me home. I tried to say goodbye but they gave me no chance. Please forgive me. This summer was the best time of my whole life. Because I met you.

I know letters are a little prehistoric these days, but I've no access to a phone here. Again, I promise to write often. I'll call you as soon as I'm out.

Love, Foxey.

-

Dear Slash,

I'm not sure if you are receiving my letters. If you are and just don't want to speak to me, I understand that. I know mail can take a while... anyways. I figured writing to you helps me pass the time here. This place is awful. It's been 2 weeks of hell. I was forced to detox from everything. It's been so hard. I hardly sleep at night. But when I do, I am so happy because I dream of you. I also daydream a lot. It helps me get through the day. The days are long and boring. There's not really a curriculum here. Even though they call it a school. The nuns are mean. They took away all my clothing and I have to wear a white dress everyday and every night. It's cold and uncomfortable. Each day consists of the same thing. They wake you up at 6 am every fucking morning. It's barely light out. Then you have to clean your room. If you can only eat breakfast if you pass morning room inspection. I've failed 5 times so far...

Anyways. Sorry. I don't mean to complain to you. I don't have anything exciting to write about. I hope you have having very exciting experiences in LA still. Please write me when you can... I want to know how you are!

Love, Foxey

-

Slash,

Today was horrible. Just horrible. I'm sorry to write you only my miseries, but it feels like that's all I have left lately. Turns out, if you don't comply with every single whim and precision- even making the wrong face, or the tone of your voice, the nuns will be violent with you. They carry rulers, books and at times, even their bare hands- are weapons. I can't exactly remember what I did first to step out of line, all I remember was sister Agatha (she's a total bitch) slapping me so hard across the face, the stinging lasted for hours. I cried a little but only in private. I don't think I want to let them see me cry. I don't want them to know they have that power!

I still wait for your reply. I hope you are well.

Love, Foxey.

-

Hi There,

It's been a while. Sorry for that. I don't have much different to say to you. Or much at all. I think I get your message from your silence. If it all meant nothing to you after all, then so be it. I think maybe I belong here anyways. It's best for everyone. I want to let you know it really hurts me to accept that you are done with me. With us. Just like that. But I respect your decision- even if it's shitty. Maybe that's all rockstars are is shitty. So there. You're shitty and I wish we never met. I hope you're happy.

Best of luck with everything. I love you.

Y/N.

-

And just like that. It was over. The silence from Slash over the past two months was only an added pain to the hell you already endured. For your own sanity, hope was crushing you and you had to give it up. Your parents had called once, but the nuns ensured you weren’t telling them the truth of what it was like there. As quickly as it all unraveled, you sank into your new reality. Pushing out thoughts of escape as the former attempts were futile and had only ended in harsher and harsher punishment .

It was colder now into early November. Other girls had come and gone periodically, none staying long enough for it to be worth harboring any sort of relationship. You spent your days in the day room, a dim, sulky living room type space in the center of the building. Empty tables with broken chess pieces and puzzles with missing pieces scattered. You took throne to an old green chair by the large window.

One person you had managed to form any sort of connection with was the oldest nun in the practice, Sister Graham. She seemed worn down and tired of it all, due to her age, and lack of violence and stern, she’d been demoted down to a secretarial duty. She’d find reasons to come and talk to you when she could. Small but meaningful conversations. The two of you formed a secret bond of hatred for this place. A mutual understanding that this was all that was left for both of you. She’d share bits of her life before she became a nun. She had been sent away at the age of 16 after running away from an arranged marriage to a man 20 years her senior at the time. You felt sad for her, sorry for her, confused as to why she remained here. You told her about your past, how you ended up there. You even opened up to her about Slash and the magical summer you had. She seemed to appreciate the glimmer that became of you when you spoke of it all. Like she understood what it meant to feel young and in love. What it felt like to feel misunderstood and suffocated by the normalcy of the world. She made you feel special amidst it all. And then, one day, she was gone. You waited all week for her to show.

You prodded at nuns all morning as to where she was, “did she die?” “Did she retire?” “Is she sick?” You skipped around. Each question was met with harsh and rude snaps of silence and threatening looks. The confusion and hurt flatlined you again. Back to nothingness. You shifted in bed, staring at the ceiling, images of Slash, summer, everything, bleeding through your mind like a movie. The anger of his silence, the hurt, the betrayal, all of it stung within you so badly. Allowing it to get to you, you angrily chuck your pillow to the other side of the room with a frustrated sob. Feathers bust out of the pillow, completely ruining it. You came to your senses quickly with regret and knelt over the pillow to pick up the discarded feathers. You hadn’t changed your pillow case this week, and now you’ve broken the pillow altogether. Great. It was sure you’d get punished for this in the morning. Your hand brushes against a piece of paper as you sift through the feathers. That’s odd- where did this come from? You pick it up and it appears to be a small folded note. You take a precautious look at your door before unfolding it.

“R. 308

Nov. 21. 8pm to west wing parking lot.”

What the hell? You don’t recall writing this down. This was clearly stuffed in your pillow case. When? Why? What does it mean? Did someone put this here? Your heart beat with confusion, apprehensive to feel any sort of excitement at fear of being disappointed again. It was late, and there was seldom to do with this new information except to sleep on it. So you did.

Surely enough, as you had predicted, the nuns took notice of your destroyed pillow and sentenced you to janitorial duties for the entire day. You scrubbed away at the hallway at the end of the wing. Dragging your bucket of dirty water like a gross companion. You grumbled to yourself as you mopped. Suddenly a sister enters the hallway from out of a room and almost slips on the fresh wet floor. She gives a stabbing glare.

“Well hurry it up and get it finished so you’re not such a hazard girl.” She snarks as she walks away. You want to bark back but you know better. The room she had left was left cracked. You stared at the door with curiosity before noticing the room number plaque before you .

“Room 308”.

Wait a minute. R308? Like the note? You take yet another precautious glance behind you to the empty hall to ensure no one would see you now sneak yourself into the room.

Surely there’s something of importance in here? It appeared to be some sort of administrative office. Piles of papers decorated the entire room. You strolled around carefully eying everything. This is a mail room, this is all mail? This is all patient mail, no? It is. How interesting? Why’s there so much in here? Your eyes scan and roll over a large stack prominently sticking out of a box on the desk. You recognize the stationary and realize it to be some of your own letters to slash. What the hell? You start shuffling through the box in a greater panic and confusion. These were all supposed to be sent out, sent to Slash! Were none of them ever mailed?! Your heart dropped to your stomach and your chest tightened.

You wanted to stay longer, to further examine and investigate this, but the reality was clear. No letters written had been sent to anyone. They lied. You hurriedly skimmed through the pile to see if any had come in from Slash but you only saw the ones you wrote. All of them opened too. They’ve just been reading them and keeping them….

Before you could sulk, you quietly exited the room to ensure no one saw you sneaking in there. Clearly you were not supposed to know this. Rage, Hurt, Confusion, coiled inside you once more. All this time? Out of all the emotions rushing through you at that moment, the scariest one was now hope. Hope again filtered into you. Maybe Slash had never ignored you. Maybe he just didn’t know where to write!

After returning to your room that evening, you re read the obscure note once more.

“Nov 21”

That’s tomorrow. Nov 21st is tomorrow. Someone wants me to go to the west parking lot at 8pm tomorrow. But who? And why?

[austinslounge]

I've been wrong about everything else, so I probably am wrong about my theory but here we go:

So I believe Austin broke up with her in late August. Right after the Canada trip. I think he was trying to make it through the summer and my guess was he didn't want to ruin a trip that was already planned.

But him missing her birthday wasn't that weird. For me it was all her family and friends rallying around her that seemed kinda sus. Like they were trying to make her feel better. Not to say her family wouldn't be there for her birthday but something seemed off. Like she was upset. She could've easily spent her birthday in NY with Austin if that's what she wanted. He wasn't filming yet and it's not like she isn't rich. But that ties into my suspicions that he broke up with her. So it wasn't an option.

Something was off with her at TIFF. I don't know if it was nerves or she was on something. But her need to hang onto Corey was weird. Deumoxi was at the afterparty and said Kaia was being protected that night. Like she was upset and her friends were rallying around her. Again, something that often happens when a break up occurs.

Then out of the blue comes these two L&S articles. Speculating about them having problems and Austin essentially wanting to end things. He's outgrown the relationship. Very similar to the article his team had put out there in May about them not having anything in common.

They hadn't been seen together in over a month. Kaia was in NY a few times but wasn't with Austin at any point. She was with Marcello. She was all over him. Two different occasions, she was with Marcello. She was acting like a single woman.

Then more articles come out speculating their relationship status. I'm sorry where there is smoke there is fire.

Austin had been busy working. Minding his business. Then he was needed for a pap walk to keep the break up rumors at bay. I think he'd be fine with the news coming out. but at the same time he's filming, so he doesn't need the stress of the break up coming out. Kaia did a lot of damage to her image and how people viewed her relationship with Austin the last few weeks.

Also the fact that nothing has changed in their demeanor either. If they had shown up together after a month and break up rumors soaring, looking happy and in love maybe people would buy it. But Austin is so done. He's just doing what he has to do to break away.

Just from what I've seen in past celebrity break ups. Often they've split before speculation even begins. But will go along with whatever plan their PR teams put in place. Austin and Kaia wouldn't be the first couple to be broken up and still have to act like they are together to keep up appearances.

Just a theory. Again where there is smoke there is fire. Saturday was way too much of a coincidence.

You know what girl? This is a good theory. You're not the only one who's had this theory. It does kind of make sense.

Also, the weight loss thing is very important to note as well. I don't think it's from the stress with Presley either, because he looks fine now, and I've heard that he's even been going to rehab.

We first noticed that Kaia was losing weight around July. It's now October, and she still looks frail. It's the thinnest she's ever been since dating Austin.

Idk about others, but I lost a ton of weight when going through a major relationship heartache and heartbreak.

Not to mention, they still look miserable with each other.

These things by themselves might not say much, but when you put all of these little things together, they do seem to paint a certain picture.

The fact that their teams haven't really said anything is very interesting.

Also, like you said, most celebrities have already broken up long before the official announcement comes out.

Many times, people can even just look at a couple and tell when it's on its last legs. I agree with you, where there's smoke, there's fire.

I'm just going to eat my popcorn like the rest of you all, and will see what happens btwn now and the end of this year.

All I know is, I don't think I can take another Gerber Family Holiday Trip in Cabo at the end of this year again. 😩

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

A/N : this chapter even though it's the episode where conrad finds his mom w cancer, it's not gonna be in this chapter because i have other plans :) ALSO chapters will come out as quick as they can. i have been busy recently and will be busy for the next couple of weeks, though, i’ll try squeezing in some writing time.

words : 1.9k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

Growing up pin Cousins, I made a lot of memories. And yeah, most of them started with a song, and ended with a boy.

Every summer I found myself dancing in the living room with Belly. Both of us being terrible whatsoever. We would complain about how we needed a dance partner, and then two of the guys would come in.

Usually I got Conrad and Jeremiah went to Belly.

For fun, Belly and I used to practice being debs. To think that we actually wanted to do it when we were younger.

"God we need partners." I complained as I fell onto the couch.

"Steven!" Belly yelled to get her brothers attention.

Steven scoffed a no as he continued to play his video games.

"Here, I'll be your partner." Conrad said as he got up from the couch, walking over to me.

"Jeremiah, please." Belly said as she practically begged him.

He laughed a little before getting up to help us.

The music continued as Belly and I were spinning around, yet we couldn't even take ourselves seriously.

I concentrated hard on the steps as Conrad counted out the beats. I messed one up as I stepped on his foot.

"I'm so sorry." I laughed a little.

He shook his head, "Don't worry, it's fine."

The four of us continued to practice ballroom dancing as Belly and I were spun around.

I did knock into Conrad a few times, maybe more than I should've which made the both of us laugh.

"Sorry." I said awkwardly.

"It's okay. It's fine." He would say.

And now, Belly and I were both in an actual dance room. Practicing for our moments of being a deb.

Cameron stood with her as I looked around awkwardly in the heels I was borrowing.

I practiced the steps by myself, but if I'm being honest, I just felt stupider. Everyone else had their partners, and they were all socializing, while I stood awkwardly in the midst of it.

I took off the gloves that I had been given as I took out my phone from my pocket. I needed Conrad to save me from this mess. Or someone atleast.

I texted him a quick "Hey" before putting my phone back in my pocket.

We had gotten a brief introduction of who Ms. Covington was, before we all began walking with her instructions. I turned to no one, and couldn't help but feel sorry for my own self.

"Hey. Where's your escort?" Nicole asked as she made her way over to me.

"Oh, I just haven't really found one. And none of the guys want to do it with me.." I said awkwardly smiling at Nicole.

"That's okay, uh, I-I'll be your partner for today."

"Really?" I asked.

"Sure, I'm your deb sister. But you're going to need an escort for your big night." Nicole reminded me. "Paige is going to have an aneurysm if you wait too long."

I laughed a little, "Yeah, so will Susannah."

We both laughed at the comment as she began helping me through the steps. I wasn't horrible, but I definitely wasn't good either.

"Did you do all this last year with, Conrad?" I asked Nicole as I missed her foot by a mere inch.

"Well, Conrad was actually spared Ms. Covington. I was supposed to go with this guys James, but he dropped out last minute. So Conrad stepped in to save me."

"Oh yeah, Susannah taught the boys a lot of dances." I said as I remembered the dances we used to do in the living room and in the ktichen.

"Conrad, actually, he-he had left me on read last night." Nicole stammered. "And I was wondering if you've seen him today."

"Um.." I thought back to last night and everything filled inside of me again. Happiness and excitement. "No, he was still asleep when I had left." I lied.

"Ooh!" Nicole exclaimed as I accidentally stepped on her foot.

"I am so sorry." I began to apoligize.

"No, no, it's okay, don't worry." She smiled as everyones eyes had turned to us.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I asked. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's nothing, it's alright."

"Hey ladies." I turned my head to Jeremiah. "Mind if I have this dance?" He asked.

"Yes actually." Nicole and I both said which made us laugh a little.

"Belly..." Jeremiah said.

"Jeremiah, you're gonna get me in trouble with Paige." I said, pointing to his sheer basically netted top.

"Hey." He whistled over to Steven who happily took off the coat of his tux, handing it to Jere.

Nicole raised an eyebrow, "Okay, Harry Styles?"

"How's this? It's better?" He questioned.

I gave out a small laugh as I shook my head.

Jere didn't take much of the dancing seriously which made the both of us laugh as we waltzed through the room. I could hear snickers from Steven.

"Hey Alexa, play "So Pretty"" Jeremiah said quickly to the Alexa in the room.

The speaker began playing the song as we all looked at Jeremiah who was already dancing on his own with disappointed looks from Ms. Covington.

Ms. Covington didn't seem to care for long as she let us all dance to the music freely, obviously knowing she'd get complaints from us if we had asked her to stop with the song.

"What. Is going on here?" Paige asked as she came into the room. She ordered Alexa to stop and we all stood there, staring straight at her.

"Jeremiah Fisher, why aren't you at the pool?" She asked.

"We had a code brown." He lied. "Yeah, we had lost the keys to get into the chemical closet."

Paige shuffled through her little binder, pulling out a key and tossing it to Jeremiah. "There you go."

"Thanks." Jeremiah slightly whispered. He looked over to me, "See ya later, Y/N/N."

"All right everyone, let's try that again..." Paige sighed. "This time without, whatever that was."

I looked back up from where I was standing and saw Conrad in the doorway. I smiled at him as he gave me a peace sign.

What I barely saw was Nicole in front of me, who waved at Conrad as I did as well.

Nicole giggled as she made her way over to me, knowing she was my partner now that Jeremiah was kicked out.

My phone rang with messages, "Oh sorry, I just have to check this." I said.

My phone had a text from Conrad, saying "See you when you get back."

I couldn't help but smile just a little.

I continued dancing with Nicole, who now seemed to be in a better mood after the interaction with Conrad.

The practice didn't last long, giving me the perfect chance to go home, change into a swimsuit, and bike over to the beach for a quick swim.

I came home after the beach, seeing Jeremiah lay staring straight up at the sky.

I laughed a little, "What's with the flower crown?"

"My mom's getting ready to paint me as Hermes, messenger of the gods." Jeremiah said, but he didn't seem very stoked about it.

"Isn't that cool." I said smiling.

I looked around the backyard, but couldn't even find Conrad. I feel like something was happening between us again. I just didn't know what.

"Who you looking for?"

"Oh, I just um, thought Conrad would be back by now."

Jeremiah sighed before getting up, "Where have you been?"

"Just at the beach."

"You never go to the beach alone, are you okay?"

"Of course I am, I just wanted some me time." I said smiling.

"Well, if you are upset, Laurel and my mom... they're high-key stoned right now." Jeremiah said.

I looked at him in shock before laughing, "You're joking."

"I'm not!"

I shook my head.

"Yeah, all of the good snacks are gone."

Susannah had brought me out to inspect her painting of Jeremiah. Laurel followed out after me, but I couldn't stop staring at the painting.

"Ah- It's... um-" Was all that could manage to come out.

"Mmhmm." Jeremiah mumbled, trying to add on.

Laurel pointed at the painting, "Picasso and Jackson Pollock had a baby." She laughed.

"What?" Susannah said as she too had to get a better look of her painting.

All of us now stood around the painting, looking at what should've been Jeremiah.

"Oh my god, it's terrible." Susannah said as she began to laugh uncontrollably which made the rest of us break into fits of laughter as well.

Susannah and Laurel called us brats before leaving the house for a beach walk.

I walked up to my room, Jeremiah following close behind, "Come on, let's go swim."

I looked at my room. Clothes were scattered everywhere, and nothing was organized. "I actually have to clean my room, I'm sorry."

Jeremiah pouted, "How come nobody ever wants to play with me?"

I only smiled before walking into my room, "Later."

I mean I wouldn't say I was lying, but at the same time I wanted to hangout with Conrad, but he wasn't even here

A loud clammer from outside brought me away from cleaning. Conrad was outside, putting the easel and portrait back up.

I smiled as I made my way down the stairs, out to the deck.

Every summer focused on Conrad. This one was different though.

"You're back." I smiled.

He gave me a quick smile saying a quick "Hey" as well.

I helped put away some of the art supplies, as there was obviously some sort of tension yet again.

"How are you and your mom?" He asked.

I stammered a little, "Oh my mom- uhm, yeah we're good."

He took the water pitcher and paint brushes from me, our hands centimeters away from touching.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

"What do you mean." His back was to me.

I sighed, "For crying out loud we almost kissed."

"Really?" I was pretty wasted. Don't remember much."

He tried walking away, but I followed.

"Are you actually serious?" I asked, making eye contact with him.

Conrad shrugged, "Okay, so what. We almost kissed."

I stood there, just looking at him. I don't know what I wanted him to say, but I wanted it to be more. I wanted him to quit playing with me like how he used to.

"What do you want me to say, I'm sorry?" He asked.

I scoffed, "Are you sorry?"

"I don't know."

I just gave up. I couldn't win him and I was dumb to think so.

"Y/N, I think about you. And you know that I do. I just... I can't."

I held back all the tears that I possibly could. "I'm not playing these dumb games with you anymore."

There's been a lot of built up frustration recently. A lot more than I can hold. It's hard and it hurts.

It's hard being by yourself. Especially when everyone has someone else.

I waited a long time til Susannah got home. She was the one person I knew I could talk to. So as soon as she walked through the doors, she saw me.

"Hey, Sweetie, what are you doing down here?" She asked.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, wiping away a tear that had just fallen from my eye.

She hugged me tightly, "Of course we can, I'll get a pot of tea ready for us.

I sat at the kitchen island as I watched her prepare my favorite tea. One that I used whenever feeling down.

"What's on your mind?" She asked as she sat down beside me at a stool.

"Do you believe in second chances?" I asked, looking up at her eyes.

"Of course I do. Especially for your age. You guys are new to love, experimenting."

"Susannah, I'm getting really mixed emotions and I don't know what to do."

All at once everything began to spur out of me.

Conrad walked in once during my little rant, but Susannah had shooed him off.

I jumped in the pool, ready for my late night swim. It was calming, peaceful almost.

Jeremiah hopped into the pool. But his tone was different.

"You're my best friend"

"And you're mine." I smiled.

"There are times where I wanted it to be more."

I looked at him in shock, "Jere-"

He grabbed my hand and I allowed it. I didn't stop him.

And there I was. 12 in the morning. In the cold pool. Kissing Jeremiah Fisher.

I let go.

"I'm sorry. I can't."

[formulaorange]

2024 Summer Anime

Sorry I'm late on this - I'm going back to school for a second degree this fall so it's been chaos Lots to look forward to for this season!!

Oshi No Ko - Season 2 Such a killer series that I think a lot of people have been looking forward to the second season. They did a great job giving us something to look forward to in the story. Must Watch Noteworthy On-Going Shows: Tensura - Season 3 MHA - Season 7 New Seasons:

Fairy Tail: 100 Year Quest This series was one of my first "longer" shows and I still love the original series. I know it really fell off with the 2014 reboot and the ecchi scenes were ramped up but I think 100 Year Quest gives it a nice fresh start now that people kind of know what to expect.

Additional New Seasons: Kimi ni Todoke: Season 3 A romance drama that my friend has tried to get me to watch for over a decade now. Tower of God - Season 2 I never finished season 1, but I've heard that this series is supposed to be highly reviewed and anticipated. Will go back and watch season 1 to catch up. Shy - Season 2 After letting this series sit for a minute, I'm not entirely sure I'll go back and watch the second season. I think there's definitely an audience for it, but I've got my list full of other priority shows at the moment.

New Noteworthy Shows: There's lots here for everyone this season.

Dead Dead Demon's Dededede Destruction This is a big one I didn't realize was getting an anime adaptation. This is one of the highest rated manga series, I'd say of all time. I'm hyped to watch it. Done by a new studio called Production +h, the style looks perfect.

The Elusive Samurai This is a fairly new shonen jump series that has gained a lot of traction in the manga community. I haven't had a chance to check it out yet, but I've heard good things.

Rick and Morty (Anime) I have so many mixed feelings about this one. I love Rick and Morty but man, and I don't know if I want see them in Japanese/Anime since it's literally already an animations series - but then I realized, because it's produced by the same studio this could be a legitimate "version" of the series that's just a part of the canon Rick and Morty Universe which is kind of cool. Will just have to wait and see I guess.

Suicide Squad Isekai I'm completely on board with this one for some reason. Really not sure why, but it makes perfect sense to me. Honestly pretty stoked to watch it. (+ it's by studio WIT) Wistoria: Wand and Sword A kid enters magic school, although he can't use magic, he's particularly good with a sword. Almost like if Mashle were more serious and less out there? Read the first few chapters of the manga and enjoyed it quite a bit. The Magical Girl and the Evil Lieutenant Used to Be Archenemies I think this looks really cute, will give it a few episodes. (Also because it's done by studio bones) Senpai is an Otokonoko A story about a highschool boy who cross-dresses, friendships between him, another female classmate and his childhood friend who's very protective of him. I'm curious to see how the story progresses and what kind of representation will actually be show-cased in the series. (Looks wholesome) Makeine: Too Many Losing Heroines Amazingly animated slice of life of a group of girls who get rejected by the guys they like. (A1 Pictures) Plus-Sized Elf An elf that came to the human realm falls in love with junk food and now needs help and motivation to lost it. Ecchi series that I saw in manga format a few years ago that I wasn't really expecting to see an animated version for. Mayonaka Punch Has a super unique style that I'm interested to see if the story is actually worth watching at all. Delico's Nursery Same style as Mars Red - group of Vampires taking care of kids and murder mystery solving on the side. Sakuna: Of Rice and Ruin - Anime Anime adaptation of the game, animations and character design look great.

Lots to check out this season, seems like a good bunch that are actually worth watching too. Enjoy!!

[askbensolo]

“hey, fan.”

“oh...hi!”

“mind if i sit here?”

"oh! um, no, no, of course not...please, go ahead.”

"it's...uh. hot, huh?"

"yes. much hotter than ryloth."

"...i'll miss you when you go back."

"...i'll miss you too."

"listen i'm sorry about...you know, everything..."

"yes...me too. i've been feeling rather overwhelmed. i know i haven't been very kind to you as of late, or as communicative as i ought to be, and i'm sorry. i was thinking...this whole thing must be rather difficult for you. it's all so...new for you, isn't it."

"heh. yeah. well...i could stand to not lose my temper so much. i haven't been great to you, either. which is a shame, since...you'll only be here for another month, and...i don't want us to just be fighting the whole time."

"no...i don't want that, either."

"we're still friends, right?"

"yes. of course."

"we'll always be friends?"

"i hope so."

"do you...still wanna try being something else later? or...do you still think i'm a dumbass?"

"ben.”

"hey, your words, not mine, sister.”

"...well. haha. maybe i do still think that."

"i mean. fair."

"but...maybe later this year, or next year, we could…try being something else."

"good. 'cause over the past couple weeks i've come to the unfortunate conclusion that...well…i do really like you a lot. love you, in fact, which almost physically pains me to admit out loud."

"you...do?"

"yeah. i do. i mean, c’mon, do you have any idea how cool you are? but, i gotta warn you...i'm kind of a huge mess."

"well...so am i, ben. i just hide it better than you do. and...i already know you are."

"mmkay, a little rude, but—also? fair.”

“haha.”

“so, uh...friends for the rest of the summer...and then…maybe something else later?"

"that sounds wonderful to me."

"...there's gonna be a lot to figure out, you know. like, i’m serious, fan. a lot. you…really think it’d be worth it? i mean, we don’t even know if we’d still be together, years from now.”

"ben...believe me when i say this: i love you. i have loved you. i have tried in vain not to love you. for you...i would weather any storm. it would bring a lot of new challenges, but...well...it would be much more challenging for me to try to live the rest of my life without you, i think."

“heh. i feel the same way about you, sis. s'pose that settles it, then.”

[sugarsnappeases]

KARAAAA BARTYLILY LIBRARY FIC PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

LAURIE MY LOVELY YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM ME ANYTIME YOU WANT!!!!!!

bartylily library is my silly little fic which i think about constantly and which is probs like. one of the most ambitious things i've ever decided to write.... it has Chapters.... i'm so bad at Chapters. but i love her anyway. she stems from this post i made in like december and she's been stewing beautifully in my head and has developed a lot since then so this post is just gonna be like. general deranged rambling lol

so. lily's coming back to her volunteering job at the library in her hometown after having been away at uni (she's second year, just finished the spring term and she's studying english lit). the library has always been a Big Part of her life, she would visit literally at least once a week and not just to get books but also for all the events that they put on like craft things and holiday clubs and film nights and the like.

and she's been volunteering there for the last five years, since she was fifteen, bc like. obviously she has. it's a bit of like trying to please her parents and demonstrate how responsible and brilliant she is, but also just the inevitable next step for a girl who semi-grew up in the library, but also something that will look good on her cv, but also something simple, easy, uncomplicated. it's a routine that she knows like the back of her hand, it's something into which she can fall after how intensely stressful her terms at uni are and something to which she can escape from the whole Petunia Scenario going on at home. and she's good at it and she loves it and she needs it.

this holiday. however. there's an Issue in the shape of one Bartemius Crouch Junior. who literally couldn't care a whit about the library or lily's routine or the ease and simplicity that she's been craving all term. he's a Nuisance. a Menace. a Bother. and he's ruining her life and she hates him but he's also an Enigma. and lily has always liked studying. analysing things. pulling apart words and actions. it's literally what she does for her degree.

also. as shown in the snippet i just posted, lily's trying to hold onto the hope that she can fix him and set the library to rights again but this doesn't really last very long bc he's just so entirely resistant to any attempt on her part to change him. like she's showing him seven times that these books go here, it's easy, it's dewey decimal, and yet he still insists on putting them in the wrong place and she knows he's just trying to rile her up and it's working bc he's just SO infuriating!!

but then also on top of that he's so Interesting!! like he's so charming, a little outrageous but still charming, to all the library-goers and to madam pince (the main librarian), and she's watching him when he's wandering around the stacks and taking mental notes of and then going around and looking at all the books that he had paused and looked at, surreptitiously checking out the ones she hasn't read

and when she comes into study on wednesdays (bc she's lame and three days in the library per week is Not Enough) he's wandering over to bother her but also chatting w her about the things she's studying (which i've decided is gonna reflect what the english students at my uni (it's all i know!!!) study in the summer term of second year. which is shakespeare. so i'm gonna have to come up w lots of things to say about ol' shakesy p. haven't studied him since i did my a level so this could be interesting... i do think that the hardest part about this fic is gonna be the Intellectual Literature Conversations, which i think there are gonna be a few of, bc the literature i have intellectual things to say about nowadays is all in italian and decidedly unhelpful for lily's english lit degree. although i'm planning to bring up michelangelo at one point. i just can't help myself i'm sorry. they're gonna discuss the silkworm poem...)

anyway. they eventually kiss lol. in the back room of the library where lily is trying to lecture barty on how he can't just endlessly point the old men in the wrong direction bc if he isn't careful they'll keel over before they find the books they're looking for. yk the vibe. and then there's a lot of visits to the park right next door to the library. it has a little duck pond in it, if you were wondering. and they go to a gig. and he skives off from the library to hang out w her.

oh also! his community service is like. two months and he's been there for a month already so he's got four weeks left. and lily's holidays are five weeks so there's a little goodbye thing for him at the library when lily's still gonna be there for a week if that makes sense. and then he shows up again to visit on the next monday grinning at lily like 'did you miss me?' and then she skives off one day and they go to the cinema and like wander around the shopping centre and she goes to his flat and has to walk of shame it into the library the next day. it's all very like. normal. but lily's never really had that and she feels a little like she's a girl in an american rom-com getting swept off her feet. like she's a little giddy and it's so easy, simple, uncomplicated etc etc etc

and anyway then she goes back to uni x

seriously tho i think about them all the time and this fic is gonna be such a labour of love and i'm so so so so excited about it!!! hope this like. makes sense and is interesting thank you so much for asking i love youuu

[didnt-hear-cold-as-you-live]

boi oh boi do I got some problems for anons to unpack with me tonight

When my current partner and I first got together (formally) in the late summer / early fall of 2020, he had JUST started part-time living at our friends house back in New England. He moved in, from New York, with her, because she had just ended a 10 year relationship and was mega-alone and mega-depressed. The beginning of this relationship was spent with him writing music with her as she coped with this breakup, etc. We were both sort of an emotional crutch for her while she had her (well deserved ffs) hoe phase, had her first boyfriend after the fact, they broke up, she spent some time alone and Worked On Herself, and then got into another relationship, which turned out to be a LTR.

I think I have posted on here (or maybe I haven't) about how hard I struggled with the fact that, after we moved to Montana and came back and the pandemic was declared "over", I moved back to NYC. He stayed in New England, and stayed there for another 2 years. I told him over and over and over and over again how driving back and forth to a place I was so burned by and had been longing to leave for my whole life (this friend lived, mind you, 10 minutes down the highway from my hometown), feeling so impermanent in NYC, the place I was trying to make my new home; never there enough time to establish anything real with anyone between tours and splitting time between NY and a place I resented, and it was killing me. Absolutely destroying me in every way. He had a lot of reasons which he thinks are justified but I don't agree with, and could nitpick how BS they are extra in hindsight (but won't here and am trying not to mentally do it irl): wanting to buy a house and liking that he lived somewhere for free + wanting to hang on to that as long as he could to save money for the house (v short summary, he was her employee for music stuff so she let him live there for free), he wanted a yard and a secluded home where he could make music loudly at any time of day in a way the city couldn't provide, etc. I begged him to move anywhere. I told him I'd leave NY, etc. We planned to move to Arizona, to Utah, back to Montana, but it kept getting pushed back to someday, someday, someday. This has long been litigated between us and forgiven, and he's been made to understand why it hurt me, and I can tell he's sorry about how it made me feel etc. so that's all fine.

Anyway, what finally DID make him move in with me was that this friend's LTR boyfriend wanted to move in, so he was kicked out. We, again, also, have long litigated the fact that this hurt me and made me feel like a consolation prize.

Now, though, this very same couple has just gotten engaged. And, okay, I know every couple moves at a different pace, obviously. That's a fact of life. But I've seen SO many couples, who got together LONG after we did, get engaged in the past year. That's the.... "normal" pace. I spent 5 years of my life in a different dead-end relationship already; and on this blog we've been over the numerous transgressions that made this current relationship sputter and stall out a few times like an almost-dead car engine. To be fair, me going to Australia for a year didn't help the "timeline" aspect, either. But I always justified the dead-end first LTR by saying, well, we got together when I was 17. Thank GOD we didn't get married! But how am I now here again, in a relationship that will, technically and as far as I'm concerned, be 5 years old in a few months, not one iota further than I was in the dead-end relationship from when I was 17? It doesn't feel right and it doesn't feel fair and even though the math is mathing and the things that happened in the past hurt and needed time to smooth them over, I find myself just so ANGRY that I've never been able to find and fall into something easy, like everyone else I know. I'm happy to have the prize I fought so hard for; I wanted it; I fought for it. But I look around at all the relationships that didn't start in complete disaster like mine did; girls who dated men with intense commitment issues and saw them for a waste of time, looking for the ones that were already ready and found them and slipped into something easy and simple and loving, and are already married off with that person. Why did I hurt myself so bad? Why did I fight so hard? Just to wind up triggered by waiting due to past events of this relationship and of the previous one; feeling unwanted as a result of lack of forward momentum, only waiting again now because of the WAY the waiting the first time fractured us and needed to be smoothed over? I don't know if I'm articulating it properly, but it fucking stings. And I don't say this to blame him because it's not his fault; not anymore, because he's more than atoned for all the Bad Stuff in the beginning. But that doesn't make the consequences that those things are having now any less real, and it doesn't help when I'm left to think about those things constantly while I attend wedding after wedding that isn't mine from relationship after relationship that started long after.

I also don't really feel like I can bring this up, because every SINGLE milestone of our relationship has been due to me begging for something to happen. I don't know how I can spend eternity in good consciousness if I do that to the last one too, and never get the satisfaction of knowing it was something he actually wanted. We're also also about to go on a trip in 2 weeks, and so I'm like, hey, maybe it'll happen there, but I want that feeling to come with EXCITEMENT, not relief and not some depressing just box to validate. And if I bring this up now, not only will I feel like it's forced, but I might shoot myself in the foot by causing another delay that fucks everything up to death,

UGH.