#this is also like. supposed to be from her pov not an objective outside view

[majorshatterandhare]

Briar being fucked up about how much they’re like Rose.

They *look* just like her.

Their personality is so much like hers. They’re probably more angry but how much does that count for?

Physically they are her. They have the same genes as her. What’s different was modified to be that way by Hansel and Gretal for Cole.

How can they possibly be their own person?

They’re either Rose or they’re fucked up for Cole’s pleasure.

And they weren’t even a *success*.

How are they possibly supposed to be *Briar*?

Who *is* Briar?

Are they Rose? No, Rose was objectively someone else. But what can they be if not Rose?

Are they the soldier Cole wanted them to be? No, they were a failure. Too good, fought back.

If they aren’t what they are made from and they aren’t the differences what the fuck are they?

Is Briar falling in love with Cinders *Briar* loving Cinders? Or is it the Rose in them? And does Cinders actually love Briar or does she love that she’s almost Rose?

How do you be your own person when everything about you is that way because of a select few people who made you that way?

[ladydeath-vanserra]

I feel like Rhys would be more interesting for me if SJM made up her mind on what kind of character he is supposed to be. If he's the "ideal man" then why write him performing textbook acts of abuse. the "ideal man" who is the pinnacle of Healthy Relationship Material cannot really mesh well with grey morality

part of being a morally grey character is,, the fucked up morality that "normal" characters would be like "dude wtf" which you can see with characters like Kaz Brekker and to an extent Damon Salvatore. Their grey morality is tied to their actual personhood and their actual sense of morality. they're not haunted by their actions. it is *within their morality* in their own ideals of what they consider right and wrong

Rhys' "grey morality" is tied to that of his "mask" and then he gets so tortured by how he just has to hurt all these people for the "greater good" my good dude that's not morally grey. a morally grey character is going to see it as worth it and not blink an eye bec it was what needed to be done- see Kaz literally ripping out that dudes eye and not blinking about it while everyone else was like what the fuck

Rhys is written closer to a character similar to Stefan who is just so tortured and the narrative and the people around him (and by extension many of his Stans™️) will go out of their way to completely forgive all the problematic shit he did bec he "has a pure heart" or "hes an addict tho" or whatever and it's easier to excuse when he's standing next to Damon, who is outwardly fucked up and problematic in such an obvious way (Rhys next to Tamlin or even Nesta)

she Wants him to be a morally grey bad boy but he's not *written* like one. he's not allowed to be problematic the way morally grey characters are problematic. Morally Grey characters are inherently toxic and problematic and often to the point where they can be/are abusive

but also, it's the fact that he just,,, doesn't have any real character growth outside of MAF. he becomes stagnant. his characterization doesn't really change. he keeps lying to Feyre. His actions don't really change bec the narrative doesn't challenge him to bec he's "the ideal man"

Hell Rhys taunting Tamlin in TAR was interesting and entertaining for me to read but when we get that in later books from his POV with Tamlin literally just beaten down and having had given up there is nothing to gleam from that. it's beating a dead horse, it's kicking someone while they're down. it's not taunting, it's not entertaining where someone can snap back, it's just demeaning and cruel at that point like fuck just leave him alone and maybe stop trespassing

I'd probably view Nesta and Rhys' beef differently if he didn't abuse political and magical power over her- if the narrative itself didn't immediately side with Rhys as objectively in the right despite lying and abusing his power over her. and maybe to an extent I'd forgive it if we had more scenes with them where they, more or less, buried the hatchet and let their relationship actually develop and build nuance

he gets boring. no one pushed back against him in a way that actually challenges the plot or Rhys, outside of Maybe Nesta when she told Feyre about the pregnancy but even then that went out of its way to vilify Nesta and not Rhysand for putting the gag order in place in the first place

like maybe if SJM committed to a Side with Rhys or actually got the plot to challenge him and give him actual growth I'd be more interested in his character. Right now he's just boring. and he's a dick. and not in the way I find very entertaining in characters

[ae-neon]

ACOMAF works and doesn't work because of Feyre's POV

It's been so long since I've read the ACOTAR books but going back to ACOMAF idk if it's hearing the audiobook or what but the whole trilogy would have been better in 3rd person pov but also probably wouldn't work outside of Feyre's 1st person pov.

Feyre's narration is so weird because she constantly fails to describe significant things saying "X was so beautiful I wouldn't know how to paint it" Which is actually okay in my opinion since her vocabulary should be limited given her character background.

But then her monologuing is also overly dramatic like "I was the butcher of innocents and the saviour of a land" is such a weirdly poetic way for a poor illiterate 19 yo hunter with PTSD to think of herself.

But "she was the butcher of innocents and the saviour of a land" doesn't have as much dissonance.

The reality is that the narration isn't Feyre, it's just SJM dictating to the audience in constant hyperbole which is somehow meant to be the literal and objective truth of Prythian and it's people from someone who has only spent a few months there.

Had we also been in Lucien's pov, I would have been more inclined to buy into what SJM was trying to shove down our throats, purely based on him being more experienced in the world.

Also the time? Feyre spends 3 months UTM (after maybe 6 months in the Spring Court) but also spends only 3 months getting married, falling out of love, recovering from PTSD, falling in love, learning how to read and fight, going on McGuffin missions, dragging her sisters into Fae politics, telling Lucien and Tamlin to fuck off, becoming a "dreamer", mating Rhysand, fighting Hybern and marrying Rhysand.

Like the whole of ACOMAF takes place over 5 months but by the end of it we're supposed to believably go from traumatized, illiterate 19 yo who died for Tamlin to girlboss genius mated and married to Rhysand? How? Because of the narration and the sheer length of the book.

But sitting back and taking the timeline into account: Isn't it love bombing? Like she gets swept up into Rhysand's life and family and schemes and view of the world with no real chance to think or breathe or be. It's almost cleverly written to make it look like Rhysand is the one who falls stupidly, blindly in love but in reality SJM makes Feyre a puppet and uses her POV to tell the audience how great her favourite character is.

The constant comparisons are nauseating - they wouldn't be if we were genuinely in the head of a confused girl but - because it's just Sarah undoing the first book and bootlicking for a man she literally made up.

Also the way SJM can't portray Feyre becoming confident without making her arrogant and condescending. She spent 3 months UTM but hears half an account from Rhysand and then "knows" her and (more importantly) his experiences trump EVERYONE ELSE'S.

Alis spent more time cleaning in the Spring Court than Feyre has been alive nevermind aware of the realities of life in Prythian but because SJM is again dictating to us through her POV were forced to accept Feyre's views as truth.

Rhysand had suffered more.

vs

Rhys, Feyre thought, had suffered more.

It's a small thing but I think it makes a significant difference.

***

Also, once you step back and look at the timeline it makes it painfully obvious that Feyre probably inserts herself into the IC way more than they consider her to fully be one of them.

They've known each other for 500 years and have deeply layered, complicated drama between them. And then like 2 months into knowing Feyre as Rhys' mate, she's poking her nose in their business. Idk it makes me cringe, maybe that's just me.

[deceptivemorals]

Why did he want katerina to pay? I dont remember

regarding this post <3

hi anon and thanks for your question.

in 2x19, elijah says that he has his own reasons for wanting katerina/katherine to pay which suggests that he has different reasons than klaus. and in fact, he truly does have different reasons for wanting to make her pay.

klaus wants revenge on her because she spoiled his plans of breaking the curse he already waited half a millennium to finally get rid of. he wants revenge on her for stealing from him (the moonstone), and basically, he also wants her dead for making him look like a fool (the mighty original vampire who couldn't ensure that his very human doppelgänger stayed exactly where she was supposed to be).

elijah, on the other hand, can understand her reasons for running if he views the situation objectively. he didn't want to sacrifice her and had in fact commissioned an elixir that allowed her to survive the ritual.

and therein lies the crux of the story.

in general, this situation of katerina/katherine running is usually considered by katherine’s very understandable view of things (i think most of us would have acted like that and ran for the hills), followed by klaus' view of things.

but elijah's side is most often forgotten or joined with klaus side.

elijah cared for katerina. and he didn’t only start to care for katerina (despite his initial plan and intention), but he also started to trust her. he opened up to her. he let her see sides of him no one else gets to see. he started to be more human around her. all these things she triggered within elijah were things that no one (outside his family) have triggered in him in the past 500 years. elijah hadn’t fallen in love with her during that point in time but he was attracted to her spirit. he was ready to go behind his brother’s wishes to ensure that she’s going to survive the sacrifice and not suffer during it. he in fact had come up with an entire plan to ensure her survival. all his studies, all his talks with the witches, making the impossible possible, and ensuring that she survives was only because of her, because she impressed him. because he wanted her to live.

by fleeing, katerina had broken elijah’s trust in her, had ruined the faith he had in her. she shattered the delicate humanity within elijah that was starting to grow.

it’s hard for elijah to open up to anyone and it’s even rarer that he does so with a complete stranger (and someone who wasn’t family). he doesn’t care for anyone outside his family but he started to care for katerina. he had trusted katerina and she had trampled it.

her betrayal had shown him that klaus was right, that they weren’t supposed to care about others. that letting a person in will only result in hurt and betrayal. a weak spot he’s not allowed to have.

and aside from that, katerina's flight also caused a huge rift between klaus and elijah because klaus believed (and probably still does) that elijah helped her run. this crack is something rebekah even 500 years later calls the start of mistrust between her brothers.

let's not forget that klaus threatened to kill elijah if he did not return her. i don't think that klaus has ever said such a thing to elijah (or any of his siblings) before 1492. in my headcanon, elijah was also daggered for quite some time after he did not return with katerina.

so yes, because of all the listed above (and from elijah's pov very justified reasons) he wanted katerina to pay, even after 500 years. katherine was probably lucky that much time had passed because time healed a bit of vindictiveness so he 'only' wanted to make her pay but didn't wish to kill her.

i also discussed this topic in detail in this headcanon here <3

[bushs-world]

Ok, first of all, as I said I don't have the moral high ground here, because I have also made posts and tweets mocking other groups, most times out of pure pettiness because I was pissed at them. But sometimes I also write posts where I do make huge generalisations about the other groups because like Mobius, I am interested in understanding why certain things are perceived the way they are, especially in media and literature and understanding how different morals, beliefs, worldviews and biases can alter the way you perceive something. Why certain tropes work, and why do we feel what we feel about a certain character or story.

I am not going to say that I wasn't spiteful in my addition to the original post or the tweet but also outside this post, I am always curious why certain people can identify with Loki's moral ambiguity and understand the reasons behind his actions, even hail them but straight out refuse to take Sylvie's pov into account. (Which again, I am not looking to start a debate or anything, and I am not even saying you have to like Sylvie, but it's something that always surprised me. And that's not just sylvie. There's a reason why a byronic hero is almost always male, and a gentle, kind soul is almost always female). And while I agree mocking Loki fans is petty, I will stand by my observation that if Sylvie was played by Tom Hiddleston (heck, even another male), her reception must have been very different.

People would have still been mad Loki wasn't the focus but it would have been more like how they got mad in Captain America: Civil War or TFATWS or MoM. The issues would have then been framed from a doylist perspective of how the main character was ignored and not this dumb c*nt this or b*tch that.

Which brings me to another thing I always wondered that if the issue regarding sylvie is mostly from a doylist perspective (aka her trauma, her mission being the focus and Loki being pushed aside and made ooc), then why do people who hate her from a doylist perspective slander her in a watsonian perspective??? (It's not a question for you so you don't have to answer). But yeah, I agree making hasty generalisations isn't the right way to find answers (and every group in the fandom is guilty of doing it)

That said, and I can't speak for most pro series fans, but many that I know, saying Loki did wrong and the fact that Loki is a sympathetic character who had redeemable qualities goes hand in hand. Or the fact that Thor was wrong and Heimdall was wrong and Loki was wrong and W3 were wrong are all valid and true at the same time. I, for example, can sympathise with why Loki did what he did but his actions were still wrong. And ngl, this is something I keep seeing in modern, western fandom where everything is supposed to be good vs evil. And if you like something, it should not be problematic.

So most people will be like if I say Loki did wrong, then I am portraying him as evil and I don't understand his trauma or anything. Which isnt true because saying he did wrong things doesn't erase his sympathetic backstory or his redeeming qualities.

You wrote a little up that you wouldn't have liked Loki if he had committed matricide (i am not copying word to word so there may be some difference) and my question is why not? For the longest time, I thought Loki led the kurse to Frigga and still sympathesized with him because he didn't want that to happen. I never needed Loki to be perfect to like him. Infact, I liked him because he was imperfect but I need to say he's imperfect. Liking him doesn't mean I will say he was always right. (Same goes for Sylvie too. I will be the first to tell you she's deeply flawed and her world view is extremely distorted and that she needs to drop her anger and trust issues but I will be the first to agree that I am biased towards sylvie so i am incapable of giving a totally objective opinion on that. I will say Sylvie made mistakes (except for killing HWR, that was the only option imo).)

So yeah, again though I love the romance because I find it Titanic-isque. Which ok, that's just a ship, not like it, don't ship it. But again, I feel Loki and Sylvie are a very healthy, well balanced couple. And again interpretation difference, what people think as smugness and dismissiveness from Sylvie's side, I interpret as her inability of handling human interactions because she has zero to no social conditioning.

Lastly, I will say Loki didn't disrupt the coronation due to jealousy but fear. He was legit scared of being left behind once Thor became king and he was scared of the dynamic difference it would bring but again my interpretation.

It’s funny that, before Sylvie was even properly introduced in the show, she was set up as a Loki variant - you know, Loki, the guy who was a villain of three movies - and somehow people think it’s upsetting that she turns out to have villainous qualities. “Why did she have to kill her fellow variants when she could have tried to free them and join them in a revolution against the TVA?”, I don’t know Becky, why did Loki have to try and commit genocide against his fellow jotunns when he found out he was their stolen prince, instead of joining them against Odin’s imperialism? Why Loki taking out his self esteem issues on a failed attempt to conquer a planet full of innocent people who did nothing to him make him a complex and tormented villain, but Sylvie killing officers who were actively trying to harm her make her a heartless bitch?

It’s literally a theme point that Loki feels connected to Sylvie because her lust for vengeance at all costs reminds him of himself in his villain days (“I’ve been where you are”), but people somehow insist that her anger and cruelty are meant to be seen as positive or heroic, or justified, when the narrative is clearly highlighting them as moral flaws that are weighting her down and that she must put behind her. Not to mention that her arc is not done yet, and we already see the regret creeping onto her when she weeps on the floor after killing He Who Remains.

Loki stans will write walls on meta on how even smallest things about his life, like a brief passage of Heimdall being casually rude to him, or how Volstagg being casually dismissive of him, of even Sif’s brief side eye to him, equals to terrible abuse that explains how he became the bitter villain that he’s turned into. But Sylvie having her reality erased as a child because the equivalent to God Himself has deemed that her very existence was crime against Creation, which forced her to live on the run jumping from one mass death event after the other, seeing everyone she’s ever known being fated to die soon, while she’s hunted down like a dog, is something she should just get over. And that would totally not explain how she became so hardened and angry. Right.

Bottom line: moral ambiguity is for male characters only, women are not allowed to have moral flaws to grow out of, and if Sylvie has a male variant played by Hiddles himself her haters would be fawning over him as their new wobbie villain.

[inbarfink]

I keep thinking about how... like, out of the Three Heroes of Light, Susie is the one that has the least Interaction with the darker\meta aspects of the narrative.

Like, if you just look at it from the perspective of Susie, this IS just the story of a pair of troubled kids who discover a magical secret fantasy world, find ou that they’re the Chosen Ones, go on magical adventures to save the world and make a lot of fun friends on the way. She doesn’t know about stuff like Kris being mind-controlled by some otherworldly entity, or that this is supposed to be a world where no one’s choices matter, she doesn’t even seem to fully understand the way Dark Worlds are created based on inanimate objects in the Light World (since she assumes Lancer ‘ditched’ them when he turned into the Jack of Spades card). 

But Susie is also the one out of our main trio that’s most likely to chafe and rebel against the puppet strings that’s been forced on her, and I think not “in spite of’ but BECAUSE her perspective is pretty much entierly focused on the ‘surface-level’ of the narrative and she doesn’t even know those puppet strings are really there.

Kris clearly knows more about the darker underbelly of the game if only because them being mind-controlled is a huge part of said ‘dark underbelly’. But they can’t do anything about the Player’s control over them, or about the whole universe railroading both them and the Player outside of some vauge Emoting in certain places. Ralsei.... seems to know quite a bit, but he also seems very content just following the rails he has been forced on - and he seems quite intent on keeping everyone else on them as well (whatever it’s fully consciously or not, and whatever his justifications for it is, we can’t quite be sure yet.) 

But Susie... SUSIE is the one who's always the first to question The Way Things are Supposed to Go if it seems weird to her, she’s the one to call bullshit on stuff that just seems silly and arbitary, she’s the one who seems to go ‘off-script’ the most out of the three.

SHE LITERALLY CHANGED THE WAY BATTLES ARE PLAYED BECAUSE SHE REALIZED BEING CONSTANTLY ORDERED BY KRIS WAS A STUPID WAY TO GO ABOUT THINGS

Because she’s doesn’t even KNOW that there’s some Powers That Be that are intent on keeping her on a set path - it’s much harder to keep her under control (and when she does know, like with the Prophecy, she doesn’t really CARE).

And because her point-of-view is so DIRECT, so focused on the World as it is presented to her - that actually makes her better equipped to notice the Cracks even though she’s not consciously looking for them. She doesn’t notice that stuff is Off and Weird because she’s intentionally looking for evidence of stuff being Off and Weird, but because she DOES think this world is nothing but the lighthearted fantasy adventure she’s been told this is - so whenever it doesn’t quite fit that expectation, she IS going to notice it. And she’s gonna call it out.

Susie currently is mostly unaware of the darker and stranger elements beneath the surface, she only experiences the story’s surface leve. But that doesn’t mean she’s stupid or that her perspective is shallow. Susie’s perspective is direct and grounded. She has a better understanding of that ‘surface level’ then almost anyone in the story. And it gives her a great appreciation for the adventures and the world-saving, and for her friends and the character arcs they go through, and also gives her a unique insight of the ways the darker underbelly interferes with the Fun Adventures that she honestly wants to have. 

And I feel like her direct, grounded POV of the Narrative is going to be more and more important as the story goes on. The more we’ll explore the strange and screwed-up things going on in the depths of the story, the metaphors and the meta-narrative - it will be more and more important to have Susie along to remind us that YEAH all of these things are important

But also, this is also the story about a  pair of troubled kids who discover a magical secret fantasy world, find ou that they’re the Chosen Ones, go on magical adventures to save the world and make a lot of fun friends on the way.

[sokkastyles]

So I frequently see people point to Zuko’s flashbacks in “Zuko Alone” as an example of him being an unreliable narrator (mostly in relation to his mom and Azula), and I feel like a lot of people misunderstand what an unreliable narrator actually is. It doesn’t just mean any time we see things filtered through only one character’s perspective - the term you are looking for there is limited pov - and, more to the point, an unreliable narrator has to be established by the narrative. Unreliable narrators are always characters in the story, as opposed to an objective, outside narrator who is not a character in the story. So in order to figure out if we have an unreliable narrator, we have to ask ourselves who is narrating the story.

This is easier to establish in writing than it is in visual media, although there are some film techniques that are usually used to establish that the events we see onscreen are being filtered through only one character’s perspective. The argument I usually see is that since the narrative establishes that these are Zuko’s memories, we’re seeing events only filtered through his pov, but the thing is, although the narrative IS showing us things that Zuko remembers from his childhood, it isn’t limited to ONLY the things he sees. Therefore we can assume that the action here is being narrated by an objective, third party narrator who is not a character in the story. This third party narrator does get psychically close to certain characters, showing us events through their perspective, but it isn’t always Zuko whose perspective we are shown.

The biggest example of this, I think, is the scene by the turtleduck pond. After Ursa and Zuko start walking, we get a wide angle shot of Mai, Azula, and Ty Lee playing, before Ursa and Zuko arrive in the frame. Azula attempts to do a cartwheel, Ty Lee then does a perfect cartwheel followed by a flip in midair, and is then pushed over by Azula, who laughs. Then the camera zooms in on Mai’s face as she turns to notice Zuko and Ursa walk by. We get a close shot of Zuko, and an almost over the shoulder shot of Mai looking at him. She blushes, then turns away. 

Though the camera zooms in on Zuko’s face, he never turns to look at her or even seems to notice her looking. We don’t even get an indication that he’s deliberately ignoring her, embarrassed by her obvious crush. This is because this little micro scene is shown to us through Mai’s perspective, not Zuko’s.

By contrast, Azula does notice and react to Mai’s crush on Zuko, and we see her whisper something to Ty Lee before going up to Zuko and Ursa. We’re shown this pretty clearly through Mai’s perspective, as seen through the direct over the shoulder low angle shot looking up at Azula. And while Zuko is immediately suspicious of Azula, he does not seem to have witnessed her significant look at Mai, nor her talking to Ty Lee, nor Mai’s blush, and is unaware of what Azula is trying to set up to embarrass them both.

My point is that this isn’t a scene strictly filtered through Zuko’s pov. It’s a scene from Zuko’s past, and the way the narrative switches back from the past to the present, we are supposed to get a sense that Zuko in the present is reliving these memories. However, we, the audience, are also privy to things that Zuko doesn’t see. If Zuko were supposed to be shown as an unreliable narrator, through which we are seeing these memories strictly through his limited point of view, with a close psychic distance, then that would not be the case. Especially when it comes to Azula, whose manipulation of her friends is something only the audience is full privy to in this scene. (We’re also shown why Azula does it, because she wants to reestablish herself as the center of her little friend group after Ty Lee does a better cartwheel than her and Mai is more interested in Zuko than her.)

Another possible example of a third party narrator distinct from and not limited to Zuko’s perspective could be when Zuko gets up to show his firebending in front of Azulon, and the camera zooms in on Ozai’s frown. This COULD have been something Zuko specifically remembered, the way he probably remembered his sister telling him that he’ll never catch up - which we are shown his reaction to in the scene, implying that that was part of his motivation to try and show off his own skills - but it seems to have been put there more for the audience’s benefit than Zuko’s, to tell us about Ozai, and not necessarily what Zuko thinks of Ozai, as Zuko at this point is still deeply in denial about his father wanting him back home and his ability to win his father’s approval. 

That example actually is an example of Zuko being unreliable, but his unreliability lies in the juxtaposition between what we are objectively shown in the episode vs what Zuko has claimed in the past about his father. We have no reason to believe that the narration itself is unreliable, even when Zuko is unreliable as a character.

[supercantaloupe]

the movie reviews of DEH coming out this week have got me thinking a lot again about why i think DEH doesn’t work and in which ways. normally when i do that i like to find another show that has a similar or shared storytelling device which i think does it better to compare. and given that, now DEH has a stage and a screen adaptation to compare to, i think My Fair Lady is actually a good point of comparison to use for the aspect of DEH i've been thinking about this week.

obviously My Fair Lady and Dear Evan Hansen are. Very different shows, lmao. but i have my reasons: both were acclaimed stage shows that later got turned into infamous films (be it in a good or bad light). but moreover, both shows have an unsympathetic protagonist, which is made more stark and obvious through the transition from stage to screen.

there is an important difference in medium between stage and screen and that has to do with objective framing and point of view. basically, in a theater, you have zero absolute control over where any and every audience member is paying attention at any and every given time. you can direct it with blocking, light, sound, etc, but you cannot force an audience member to look at what you want them to look at for every moment. the framing is inherently subjective in this way because the viewer is free to focus on what they want, and make their own judgments based on that.

film is different; film has an objective framing. it is the camera. when you are viewing a film on screen, you have no power to see anything outside the frame that is shown to you; you don't have the power to turn your head and look at something else in the scene. this introduces an implicit bias in the narrative, because the point of view of the camera is what the audience is practically forced to identify and sympathize with.

now, back to DEH and MFL. both shows have a protagonist who is unsympathetic. but a crucial difference between them is that, while DEH's protagonist is also its point of view character, in MFL they are different.

it's sometimes difficult to separate the concept of "protagonist" from "main character" and from "POV character," but in this case i’m going with a narrative definition of protagonist, where they are the character who changes through the narrative. in MFL's case, this is henry higgins, as he spends the entire show being a whiny narcissistic manbaby until the final number when he realizes that he's developed the ability to care about another human being for their own sake for the first time. while eliza does go from speaking and dressing like a common cockney to a genteel lady, she is not changed as much as a character, and therefore i do not count her as the protagonist.

eliza is, of course, the POV character; she is the center around which the story follows; there are more scenes about eliza alone than there are about henry higgins alone, and those scenes about henry higgins alone tend to be about his relationship to eliza.

the framing of which character is the POV on stage is not so important as it is on film, because, again, objective framing on screen. when eliza's POV on stage turns into eliza's POV on screen, we are able to see henry higgins more directly through her eyes. because she is the POV character, we sympathize more readily with her than anyone else, and more clearly see higgins as the asshole he is, because he treats her like dirt to her face, which we as the audience are also experiencing by proxy. film framing makes more distinct the separation between POV character and protagonist, therefore allowing henry higgins' very unsympathetic personality ring out loud and clear.

DEH, on the other hand, has its protagonist and its POV character be the same character, that is, evan. this was a problem in the stage show, yes, but looking back on the past four years of audience interaction and feedback with the show demonstrates that it's still possible to sympathize with him even though he's a jerk. i believe this is because the show tries really hard to frame him as being sympathetic despite his bad behavior, and the framing from his POV is still more subjective since it is in a theater.

but, just as the distinction between sympathetic and unsympathetic character becomes more obvious on film when the POV becomes more objective in MFL, so too does it become more obvious in DEH.

it becomes even more obvious that the story wants us to sympathize with evan. he's the POV, the framing is objective, we're mechanically meant to identify with him. but that introduces some pretty hefty tonal dissonance when we're being asked to sympathize with a character who does some pretty shitty things (in other words, is unsympathetic)

of course, i haven't seen the film of DEH yet since i am, regrettably, a college student at the moment and not a professional film reviewer. but from what i've read in reviews so far and heard about the songs that were cut, it seems like the film also exacerbates the issues of the stage show through script changes. (for example, the cutting of Good For You really hurts the narrative since that's the biggest moment of evan actually facing consequences for his actions in the show.) it doesn't matter how much the movie is begging me to identify with their POV character; if they're a shitty person, i am not going to sympathize with them!

i think that's at the heart of a lot of the criticism of the film i've read so far. the story banks everything on you liking evan as a person and caring about what happens to him -- sympathizing with him -- when he is utterly unlikable. even beyond the bad casting choice.

is it possible to have an unsympathetic protagonist as your POV character in a film? i'm sure it is. but this is not the way to do it. could DEH have succeeded with an unsympathetic protagonist as its POV? probably, if treated differently. i can’t help but wonder what a dark comedy version of DEH would like like, akin to Heathers. although, what i think Heathers does well that DEH does not is both show that its protagonist does in fact do shitty things we are not supposed to support, and she realizes this after facing consequences for her actions and makes a change in her behavior two thirds of the way through the movie. but, ultimately, as it is, it seems like the route the DEH movie went down was not a good one, exacerbating problems from the stage show both through writing and, more simply, through the medium itself.

[inkykeiji]

Hi baby, new anon here. Great work darling, as usual. Gotta get a few things off my chest though, hopefully you’ll excuse my language.

TW: I mention dark things like violence.

1. This bitch Fuyumi I cannot stand. I’ll go back to wearing khakis and blue shoes if that mean I get to beat this bitch ass, abuse enabler ass bitch lace up your shoes PERIOD!!

2. Idc ima say this… low-key hated reader-chan for fucking Touya right after he ODed, it jus kinda felt a lil räpëy considering the whole situation but that might just be how I see it, idk.

But yeah this is it. Clari you’re wonderful and I hope you have a blessed day/night and peace🌴🦋💓✨

hehehe hello!! welcome!! <3

1. fair, and i understand where your feelings stem from. my version of fuyumi in this pulls heavily from canon fuyumi and her extreme desperation to try and rebuild or repair her family. in the manga/anime, she is by far the one who tries the most to readily forgive enji for his actions once he attempts to atone for them. (personally, i think canon!shouto's attitude towards him raises some interesting questions/points in the sense that: in canon it's really difficult to tell if enji's only now decided to try and atone for his sins because he's finally gotten what HE wants (to be #1) and either now has more time to care about what he's done to his family (like oh, now that i've gotten what *i* want i can focus on what i did to you) and/or only wishes to patch things up to preserve his own image OR if he's actually realizing just how fucking terrible of a human being he has been for 16+ years to his ENTIRE FAMILY and feels legitimate guilt and wants to atone not to make himself feel better or look better but because it is the ACTUAL right thing to do. irregardless of any of this, though, i harbor an extremely strong dislike for enji as a character for personal reasons lmao). fuyumi in my piece was definitely supposed to make you feel strongly, though, since we (as the real readers) are on touya's side and are always seeing things through his pov/reader's pov. i wanted my readers to feel and experience the emotion he was experiencing in that instance; all of the fear and anger and panic and sadness, all at once, all very overwhelmingly.

2. also fair! it wasn't exactly meant to feel rapey but it was meant to feel extremely selfish, because she is, and they are, and sex/physical affection is their primary means of communicating and calming each other down during moments of extremely intense emotion (especially since touya doesn't know HOW to communicate in any other way, especially when he's feeling vulnerable). if it makes you feel any better, though, touya could've said no, and would have said no had he not felt up to it, and reader would've instantly respected him, because all she ever ever ever wants to be is his good little girl who serves him, submits to him, and never ever disobeys him. for touya in this scene, he doesn't really know what to say or how to say it, and even after he clears his mind with sex he still struggles to express himself, too. BUT YEAH that second sex scene was supposed to make you go dude, what the fuck because it is really messed up and twisted; because they are really messed up and twisted, and (like literally all of my work) it was purposefully romanticized to enable you as the real reader to view it through the characters' distorted rose coloured lens full of sick 'love' (obsession, infatuation, idolization) and extreme dependency, in addition to your ability to take a step back and view the situation objectively from the outside; twofold!!

either way, your feelings are totally valid! thanks for sharing your thoughts with me anon bb, and thank you for the compliments!!! <333 i'm always super interested to know which parts of my work make you feel what and why!! you're lovely hehehe i hope you're enjoying your weekend and staying safe!! <33

[ohnobjyx]

Would it be that impossible for dd and gg to come out as a couple (provided they respected censorship and didn't talk about it with the media)? I read the other day that homosexuality is not illegal in China, just talking about it and showing in the media, so could not someone as brave and crazy as dd attempt to come out outside of the media? after all they are the first 3 shipped real couples in china, they do have support. Coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed..

Hi, anon! (*this blogger cracks her neck and gets ready*) Let’s get into it!

Disclaimer: fake fake fake. Why would you think that we believe in bjyx?

Preface: this post might not be exactly a controversial opinion, since I think many will have the same one. However, it’s alright to disagree: we all have our own perception of the matter, which is coloured by our own experiences (let’s just say that an absolute objective view is difficult). I present here with the most objective post (at least in terms of data and facts) I could write.

Oh, and you all might have noticed, but being concise is not my forte. I tend to digress.

First of all, I assume that the concept of “coming out outside of the media” means that they could have told just close friends and family, without announcing it to the media.

But how would we know that they have done it? (and I don’t mean we should know for sure, ofc). For all we know, they may have already done this, and, from my pov, they probably have. Without entering in “fake” rumours:

TTXS bros know something (repeating myself for the nth time). From the way DZW jumps in whenever it remotely looks like dd is slipping up, how WH poses his questions, how QF teases him. It all seems references to a real, tangible thing, instead of baseless friendly teasing. It’s also very interesting that they have stopped their matchmaking mission and have instead started to defend why dd is “single”.

Their parents are their cover. Even if dd parents didn’t watch TTXS, wouldn’t someone else watch it and ask them about it? Wouldn’t they wonder about the supposed clothes that dd sends home, the medicine, the market stroll? Maybe I’m just projecting, but I wouldn’t use my parents as a shield if they weren’t aware of the situation behind it, because I’d be subjected to their questioning later. That’s why, unless I wanted to tell them or I had already told them, I wouldn’t use my parents as an excuse. So, once is alright, but dd has done it several times, and that, for me, means that his parents know.

That’s what I would consider “coming outside the media”. Of course, this doesn’t involve us fans, and it’s their decision, of which we probably will never hear about (or, at least, not soon, and that’s fine!). 

In my opinion, it’s also the best course of action, especially with all the rumours that are always circulating about them. It wouldn’t be a “brave and crazy” course of action, but rather the most sensible and rational, since it’s the best way to avoid misunderstandings with your friends and family. It’s also considerate for his friends at work, just so they know what to expect when they are on stage and it allows them to understand dd’s reactions.

(Again, we are talking about dd because that’s who anon asked about. I think gg’s circle is less close to him, so it may not be the case with him, but I don’t know enough to say what would happen).

Just let’s suppose his TTXS bros didn’t know anything and just kept trying to act as matchmakers for dd. That’s the kind of situation that’s bound to be uncomfortable for everyone because dd isn’t the kind of person who’d lie (and he doesn’t fast enough to improptu questions). 

The second thing I wanted to talk about is their fans’ support. I want to talk about numbers.

I’m going to explain why I only take the c-fans data as reference. We int fans don’t really count, because we don’t affect their careers directly, as c-fans do. Of course, our support is very useful in showing how many people are rooting for them, like what happened when Roseonly’s livestream with gg was live. And I like to think that they would feel better knowing that there are a lot of people in Chn and overseas that support them and whatever there is between them.

So int-fans do contribute to give more views and likes to their Roseonly livestream (if they can access it, which isn’t always the case), but they won’t buy the roses and impact with real money, so to say.

We don’t really participate in their endorsements, many won’t stay long enough to watch more dramas from them (and I do understand that the lack of eng subs is the main problem), and many don’t/can’t/don’t know how to push them up in the charts. We’ve talked before about how the c-ent industry doesn’t really need the int audience to make a lot of money, and to be highly profitable, and it still applies in a smaller case, like a single idol. 

That’s why I think that in matters of real, tangible fan support, c-fans still make a bigger percentage (around 80-90%) of their support.

So, as of now, there are 3 supertopics in w/ibo that features gg/dd (let’s leave the difference in supertopics for another day, but I don’t support the discussion about people’s sex life, thanks for your understanding):

BJYX. The largest supertopic (top 1) with a wide margin from the others. It has 2.570.000 fans.

ZSWW. It’s the number 5 in the CP supertopics, with 910.000 fans.

LXFY. The number 23 in the CP supertopics with 590.000 fans.

All of them added make 4.070.000 fans. But we have to take into account the overlapping in these three supertopics: many people (like me) are following the three supertopics at the same time. That’s why, in a not scientific way, I’m guessing that those 4.070.000 come to around 4.000.000 once you take out the people that are following the three at the same time.

Even 4 million people is still a huge number of people: that’s more people than the population of the capital of my country, and one tenth of the total census here.

Yet, in China, it means 4 out of every 1400, which translates into 0′003%. It’s also from a very specific demographic (mainly female and young). Of course, it doesn’t mean that they won’t get support from other people if it ever got out, but they can’t know what would happen then for sure.

It means that, in actual 3D world, there are a lot of people who don’t know about their CP. I read the other day some tumblr blogger saying that “we bxg are in our own little bubble, not that many people know about their cp” (was that you, @jcisthebestfightme?) which I agree a lot with. I mean, my w/ibo account and tumblr is filled with bjyx/yizhan, so much that it’s easy to forget that I arranged it to be like this, but that the majority of the people don’t receive so much info about them, nor they analyze their every move like we do.

The only thing they can know for sure is what general population thinks about same sex relationships.

In a recent poll I saw, with thousands of answers about what netizens thought of the legalization of same sex marriage in Taiwan, the supporting votes didn’t get to 50%. In Taiwan, public opinion was like this around the time same sex marriage was legalized:

An opinion poll conducted in November 2016 by the Kuomintang found that 52% of the Taiwanese population supported same-sex marriage, while 43% were opposed. Another poll commissioned that same month found similar numbers: 55% in support, and 45% in opposition. Support was higher among 20–29-year-olds (80%), but decreased significantly with age. (Wikipedia)

(I just want to say, I can’t wait for the younger generations to take over).

More data: the public stance in China could be described as: “no approval, no disapproval, no promotion”, and the public opinion is becoming more and more tolerant, but there’s still a deep-set homophobia, as in only 5% of the lgbt people comes out completely (around 20% comes out to their family), and around 80% of gay men are married to women due to social and family pressure (ofc, these data is from a few years ago, and new polls and surveys are needed, but don’t expect them to carry out a wide-range survey about this nor I think the situation has changed drastically).

In my opinion, society is slowly taking more steps towards tolerance first and acceptance second. One of their best achievement was the lgbt community and many netizens’ refusal to allow w/ibo to instate a ban on content related to homosexuality, which led to w/ibo actually reversing its decision and stop banning that content in less than 3 days.

However, the fact that a lot of people express their support doesn’t take away the truth of a lot of people openly opposing it (let’s remember that there weren’t so many antis to start with in 2/27, but its effects were undeniably large and unjust).

(If any of you read more data about lgbt rights in China, please remember that Hong Kong receives a lot more Western influence, and that public opinion in HK does not represent the actual situation in mainland Chn. Ofc, because they’re more open to lgbt, there are also more data and polls carried out in HK, so a lot of info is HK based).

Leaving this kind of data aside, let’s take another matter of numbers. While they have in total 4 million fans in the supertopics, dd has as of now 35,400,000 fans following him on w/ibo and gg has 26,690,000 fans.

One thing I’m sure they are aware of is the discussion that arises from time to time between the solo fans and the bxg. Another thing they must be aware of, specially dd, is that their fanbase has a lot of females who are their fans, not just because of their talent, but also because they’re single and therefore they can fantasize about being with them.

All in all, even though a lot of people support them, there would be also quite a number of “disappointed” people, with the danger of them becoming antis.

So while I do think they appreciate it, and leave clues specifically for us, and dd goes as far as interacting with bxg, I also feel that gg and dd might not see widespread support, enough so they’d feel comfortable coming out completely with the current public stance on homosexual relationships in Chn.

(And again, from my pov, they aren’t in the closet with their family and friends).

And last, but not least, does “coming out respecting the censorship and not talking about it with the media” mean that it would be known by the general public, or, at least, their fans (in a very hypothetic case, since I don’t know how this could be achieved)? Because then, even if they didn’t talk about it with the media, it would be as good as coming out publicly.

In an idol’s life there’s no “private” and “public”. There’s only “public” and “secret” (and by secret I mean things they “hide” in public/don’t talk about, even though people next to them might know about it). The line between public and private is very very blurred in the c-ent industry.

I always remember the case of an actor who had an affair. Because of his affair (he was married and had a son), he lost endorsements, he was taken out of tv programs and literally erased from filmed episodes. The things he did in private affected very directly his job (I don’t approve of the affair, but the consequences it had surprised me a lot). 

So, while I do think that gg and dd are getting bolder with time, when they were both very startled by the “you’d lose your job if you were in a relationship” phrase, the fear was real and palpable. However, I’m aware that that was their stance a year ago, and that a lot of things have changed (heck, we’ve gone through a pandemic, something I couldn’t have imagined a year ago), so I’m going to observe how they act from now.

That’s why, “coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed..” is true, but it’s also true that it would push them into a storm I’m not sure they’d come out completely unscathed. And it may be selfish, but I don’t want them to be the ones who test the public’s tolerance to gay idols.

I think I’m missing my point, so I’ll spell it out: if they want to come out, I’ll support them with everything I have, as I think many fans will do. If they ever prove us wrong dating another person, be it male or female, I’ll support them as a fan too. But I would like any action they take to be decided by them, instead of pressed by fans who just want a confirmation at any cost.

I’ve seen people saying that if they were really together, they should be “honest” with themselves and the audience and come out publicly. In my opinion, it’s easy to judge when you’re not the one who might lose something if you take a step in the wrong direction, and it’s not your income and your job in the line.

I’m sure (reminding you all that I believe that bjyxszd) that they’d come out completely if possible. I’m also sure that they have consulted with managers and public relations experts (and their team would have talked with them about it even if gg and dd didn’t bring it up). Therefore, I strongly believe they are doing what they think is better at the time being. 

To sum up: I’ll support whatever they do, but I don’t want others to push them to do things they don’t want/aren’t prepared to do. They are already between a rock and a hard place, so whatever they do with their relationship is absolutely their call.

So, anon, I hope I have answered you, but I leave here a short summary for you in the case the info was too scattered for you:

Would it be that impossible for dd and gg to come out as a couple (provided they respected censorship and didn't talk about it with the media)? I read the other day that homosexuality is not illegal in China, just talking about it and showing in the media, so could not someone as brave and crazy as dd attempt to come out outside of the media?

They might have come out to friends and family, and, based on dd’s interactions with the people around him and the words he has said, I do believe he has. Because gg is also an honest, sensible person, I think he might have done the same.

after all they are the first 3 shipped real couples in china, they do have support 

Chn is a big country. That means that in terms of public support, sometimes numbers that would be astronomically high in other countries, is not so much in Chn. Translating numbers into percentage, a 1% means 14 million people.

So it’s true that they have a lot of people supporting them, of course. 2 million people is a lot of people, especially considering that many don’t know about them. But when you have to take into account the general public (because it’d be a scandal), since their fans aren’t the only ones interacting with them, it’s still a low number.

Coming out willingly would also save them from being eventually outed.. 

That’s true in the case of family and friends. But if you’re talking about being outed in the media, that’s not possible. Known by the fans = Public.

And remember that in this case, the media wouldn’t talk about them, since talking about homosexuality in the media is prohibited. The problem would come from within the industry and the antis.

[nicollekidman]

dude ...I used to hope Taylor swift was bi / a fellow lesbian out of optimism lol, because i admire her work and when seen through the lens of a closeted woman all the secrecy metaphors make a lot of sense.... it would be so fascinating and heartbreaking if it were true! but I’m getting too old for conspiracies . I dunno. What keeps you believing?

okay so! i’m gonna preface this with a few things: it’s gonna be long bc i haven’t talked about taylor in a long time and i’m having Feelings and Thoughts, and my journey with miss swift is necessarily very personal and i won’t pretend otherwise! 

firstly: i don’t think i need to “keep” being convinced. for me it’s not an ongoing search for evidence - i believe that her songs speak for themselves and all the personal clues that might or might not be reaches are just icing on the cake. 

i grew up in a country music-listening household and loved tim mcgraw when it came out as a single when i was in middle school! i was pretty much hooked on her songwriting for then on, and her albums always seemed to come out at pivotal points of my life. “we are never ever getting back together” was the soundtrack to my move to university in 2012 and 1989 coincided with my junior year which was revelatory in that it was the time when i was really coming to terms with being gay. my journey with taylor dovetails super closely with my own personal journey, in ways that i think are familiar to a lot of people. as a young girl i latched onto her storytelling and her confessional voice and then as i began to realize i was experiencing attraction to women, i found a lot of comfort and understanding in her lyrics. this happened for me really late in life compared to some people! i was 21/22 when i first identified as bi, and it wasn’t until later i began to think it was possible i was a lesbian. my experience with unlearning compulsory heterosexuality, examining my own emotional interior life, and thinking about why it took me over 20 years to even consider i could possibly love women made me look at taylor in a new light. 

i think everything i need is in her music. that’s where taylor is at her most uninhibited and truthful. i think when you look at the themes/relationships she’s been writing about since she was a teen, you can see that as long as you’re willing to suspend the presupposition that everyone is straight until proven otherwise, she writes in a way that resonates with gay women for a reason!! as a younger artist she relied on a lot of fairy tale imagery, perspective shifts, and idealized stories of love. especially when she talks about those songs.... (and she still does this), she’s always connecting them to movies, to books, to things outside of her own experience. and when she is clearly talking about herself, she takes second-person pov or otherwise spins narratives that are full of yearning and a hope for a perfect fairytale in the future. i think that mode of almost.... daydreaming about an idealized version of a love story hits close to home for us! and then her later albums are MUCH louder, with themes (as people have pointed out over and over again) that just don’t hold much weight if you view them through the lense of a very famous wealthy woman writing about equally well-to-do white men. when i hear songs about forbidden love, itching to hold the hand of your beloved in public, crying over seeing heroes die alone, spinning a portrait of a life in the future where she can share her home and her love with all her friends.... when she writes so acutely of pain and agony associated with living in a fishbowl and enduring long periods of being undercover and secretive with only stolen moments of peace/beauty.... EVERYTHING i need to believe she’s not straight is in her songwriting, which i view through the personal lense of being a gay woman myself. 

everything else... the masterposts and the powerpoints and the “clues”... those are helpful in terms of opening your eyes to the concept of PR relationships and recognizing that just because you’re fed something by a celebrity doesn’t mean it’s real, but it’s not the base of my feelings about taylor. i will say though, i originally was convinced that taylor was a lesbian because of swiftgron, what we know about the two of them publicly without any reaching was enough for me to recontexualize lyrics i thought i knew the story behind, and to start thinking about her whole body of work differently. i will say also that i was never one to follow along with taylor’s personal life until this point, i had a passing awarness of the men she was supposed to have dated but i didn’t give it much thought. however, i saw swiftgron stuff right as i was recognizing i was gay myself, so it opened my eyes and almost... gave me permission to understand that het is not the default!! then of course i’ve been active since 1989 and watced kaylor unfold in real time. it is still my belief that during the glass closeting era, they were obvious because the kaylor rumors benefited both of them and laid the groundwork for a coming out that was derailed by kissgate. everything afterwards..... well... 

i am not a fan of thinking of this as a “conspiracy” i think that that idea is perpetuated by homophobes that think that everyone is straight and assuming otherwise is somehow an insult or a gross invasion of privacy. i think the vast majority of people who think taylor is gay are doing what all swifties do, which is analyze her music with a layer of projection and personal identification. however i do think that taylor encouraged the speculation for a while, and fully intended to leverage existing kaylor fans into a solid base when she came out (which i do think was planned post-yntcd but was shelved). i think there is PLENTY to look at in her public image and personal posts/behavior that would lead to a person who is willing to look at things objectively to come to the conclusion that she wasn’t straight. she has absolute control over her image and there were too many public outings and “coincidences” to be an accident. 

HOWEVER i think that people who run blogs or talk about her gayness based on obscure clues and overanalyzing every micro-movement are missing the point and often too dedicated to their own placement as “Big Blogs” or receivers of “intel”, in a way that is mostly embarassing and myopic. i have always always been of the general opinion that we will never know every detail of taylor’s relationships, nor are we entitled to that information. she is a breathing, thinking, complicated woman with a HUGE public life and an equally huge private life that belongs to her alone. 

building a public platform based on smoke signals and secret messages and inside sources has never been something i’m at all interested in, and is largely unnecessary. her story is all right there in the lyrics of her songs, and the things she shares with us publicly. i do think there have been hints/clues in the past and they’re very fun to analyze (which she encouraged!!), but much of the digging/reaching is unnecessary! we will never know for sure until she comes out herself, but i believe that her whole body of work and her messaging speaks for itself. the only thing keeping people from more widely accepting this is truly the assumption that being heterosexual is a default, and you have to Prove otherwise with a preponderance of evidence. i readily admit all of this is influenced by my experiences and emotions as a gay woman, but everyone projects onto taylor swift. 

i’m fully convinced based on her music + her past public relationships with women like dianna and karlie + her intentional hints that she is a lesbian. however i am not interested in inventing “evidence” because she’s not on trial! and i’m happy to wait for her to come out, which i absolutely think was planned for lover era and then abandoned for various reasons!! 

[harmonytre]

Random DP Dream

I had a dream about Danny Phantom. Keep in mind I know very little about it, so please no spoilers. It was supposed to take place in the “first episode” and was a POV dream, meaning I shared a body with Danny. Our thoughts were split into mine, his, and ours. He couldn’t hear my thoughts unless they were close to his and he’d consider it his subconscious or something. This will be in first person. Danny’s thoughts will be in italics and mine in bold. Both will be in both and thoughts after the story will be in (parentheses).

Anyway, it started off in my house, arguing with my older and younger sister. They were both daring me to dye my hair white. I lost a bet at some point, so I HAD to, but we were deciding what type of white.

Our dad and some of the scientists came in and said it was time. We rushed to get ready to go to the lab in the basement, and our mom was late. While we were waiting, my dad lectured me on types of ghosts, from yokai, phantoms, banshees, etc. I looked at the diagram in my hands as he said something about “the ones in the middle are like snake people.” They were sorted by height and included whether they could interact with living beings.

I spotted Doraemon closer to the right and on the left were taller ghosts called Guardians. Dad explained about them being rare legends who protect other ghosts. I recognized one as one of the scientists in the room, based on “previews” of the show. At least, in the dream. There was also something to the left of the snake people that would prove important. I think they were called Thaglamites? Oh cool.

Our mom finally arrived, so I got ready. They strapped me to a chair. Everyone including my siblings would simply watch. I volunteered for this. Based on a comic on tumblr, I also expected to try fixing a broken panel and meeting the Grim Reaper, but neither of those happened.

The chair entered the machine on a conveyor belt. I waited a few seconds, then screamed out in pain with a bright light. The next part was pretty trippy. There were lots of flashing lights and images and sounds. Why would they put that in a kids show? Reminds me of the banned Porygon episode of Pokemon. At one point, there were people that looked like a photo turned on Difference and Divide, or similar to the “still a piece of garbage” meme. (Also, the song “Seasons of Love” got stuck in my head during this scene and by the time I woke up.)

Eventually, we stopped in a hallway like thing, with quartz columns and a red carpet. We were blocked off by things you see in banks, but more regal with golden stands and red material. (Yes, I mean we. This was the one part of the dream I saw Danny separate from I. Almost as if it was an out-of-body experience eyyyyyyy. I don’t know if Danny also experienced it. I did.)

All of the people in the line, including Danny were brightly glowing. Some were sad, some angry, some content. I started shouting. “I’m not supposed to be here! It’s not my time! I can’t be dead!”

“Why, kid?” Says a middle-aged man. “Because you’re younger? Grow up. You’re dead, deal with it.”

“No, because I still have things to do.” (Danny then listed things I would not know, as they are part of HIS life, but I will try to remember.) Besides, I knew it was not true, because there wouldn’t be a show if Danny straight up died in the first episode. “I have to go to school. I have to take care of my little sister. I have to be there for my family!” Suddenly, he popped out of view. Just simply gone.

I stayed behind a little longer and saw some people’s reactions. “So, we just say important stuff we still have to do?” And they started shouting. None were successful.

I finally joined Danny’s POV again. I was outside the school. My family was unpacking from the  SUV. My parents were teachers and it was the first day of school for the others. They were all sad. I knew why, but Danny had yet to figure it out. I was happy I was alive again. I tried to speak with them, but they never heard. They spoke softly about Danny, but they needed to go to school. (Either they weren’t allowed enough time to grieve the loss of a family member, or this was at least a few weeks later. But school was supposed to start a few days after I left. Ah, the first then. Or they want to make sure they get signed up for classes early. My family’s like that. Oh, okay.)

I was sad and cried against a neighboring car. My appearance was the same in the car mirror? Yet, I was nonexistent. I followed my family inside, hoping to find something somewhere to help. Our school consisted mostly of humans, but had the occasional monster too. (Including other fandoms apparently.) Still, no one could see me.

But, someone did. Or at least I thought so. And it was the one group of people I DIDN’T want seeing me. My bullies. They chased me through the school, to the confused faces of others. A flower popped out of the floor. “Hi, I’m Flowey the flower-AUGH!” One of the bullies nearly trampled him. (This is what I meant by other fandoms, but it’s the only one I recognized. What about the yokai one? Shush! I saw an episode of that years ago.)

I tripped and it hurt. I hopped on a table, then realized. They couldn’t actually see me, just things I move or affect. Although no one could feel me, I could move objects. They didn’t even know it was me! Yeah, they’re the type to randomly fight air. Yet, somehow, their punches still stung. I hung to the ceiling and stayed still. They slowly went away, huffing. I sighed and dropped to the ground. I couldn’t even pass through objects. Lame. (And your puny strength was still the same. That hurt our arms. Shut up.) I leaned against the table, contemplative.

A teacher called out names from the doorway to the gym. One name caught my attention. “Danny Fenton?” My head flew up. He was staring directly at me. I looked around me, as if he was calling someone else. “Yes, you Danny. Come on in.” I walked in, extremely confused, yet a little excited that someone saw me! But is it dangerous? I’ll find out, I guess.

There was a rectangle table set up on one side of the gym. There were six people already seated. One of my friends, Sam, gestured to me to sit in between her and another girl. (I had to look up Sam’s name. Yeah, because you haven’t even watched the show. You’re probably writing me out of character too. Yeah probably.) Sam looked smug. The teacher spoke up as he stood on the opposite side of the table.

“Welcome, fellow Thaglamites.” I thought back to the diagram before. They were invisible to the human eye, but could interact with objects. Yep, fit the description. But why was Sam here? I saw her often, so I could definitely see her? Did she die recently?

As I was on the edge of waking up, the rest blurred. So all I can remember is the other girl flirting with me which I was uncomfortable with, the Guardian scientist I knew being a guest speaker, finding out there were multiple ways to become a Thaglamite (so Sam DIDN’T die), and learning Thaglamites COULD be seen after some practice (Sam was one for years).

Anyway, this was fun to write and probably very far off from the actual episode. I should get around to watching it someday asdfghjkl. (Also, I now realize Doraemon is not a yokai. He’s a time travelling cat.)

[elysian-drops]

I always deeply appreciated how you do introspection on your characters. As the precedent ask said how you made Draco three dimensional for exemple. Even the last chapter felt like a deep dive in Remus character and personality. You also approach Tom Riddle/Voldemort extremely well which is how I would have liked his character in canon to be, more political smart, more charming, two faced instead of the monologue villain. The chapter about Remus was also very in touch with who he is.

I dislike comparing artists works but have you ever read Charred Paws and Heavy Coils by UndeadArtist ? Because I feel like many of your characters are just as multi dimensional, human and realistic as hers. It’s a very refreshing take compared to taking an usually very canonical approach and try to make it as similar to the books as possible which fall flat because it doesn’t allow room for exploration and simply trying to imitate an author usually doesn’t bring more.

Also I don’t want to make this ask any longer than it already is (!) but I loved your head canons and have you got more under your sleeve?

Hi there!

Thank you so much for the kind words and feedback 🥺💕 I really enjoy doing deep-dives into characters, especially when they are so wonderfully twisted + complex like Tom, and it's always lovely to hear you enjoy reading them as well! I completely agree with you on the canon aspect— he was rather flat as a villain, wasn't he? 😅 But, then again, I suppose Rowling was writing for a younger audience and having a multi-dimensional villain is a big 'no-no' for the genre (didn't stop us anyway from adoring him though, did it? 😂😂).

I'm also thrilled to hear you thought the last chapter was very in touch with Remus!! Truth be told, that entire POV was one I decided on a whim 😅 I always thought Remus was an interesting character but he is so contradictory with himself. I mean, the man is stuck in a constant feedback loop of self-deprecation and self-loathing and so I was worried I was going overboard with his thoughts/inner-dialogue 😅 But, nonetheless, it’s wonderful to hear you enjoyed it 💕

In terms of your rec, I haven’t read it! I try to avoid reading other fanfics while writing mainly for two reasons: one, I don’t want to accidentally confuse their material and mine, and two, I feel I can’t devote myself fully as a reader while I’m also writing. However, I’ll definitely add her to the list if she’s getting that high of praise! I’m in agreement in that I like seeing new takes on characters rather than copying-pasting them from the canon material!

In terms of head canons, oh boy, do I ever 😂 I’ll post them under the cut because there are a few lol.

Tom:

Tom was a magpie child— he collected everything and anything he found of “value”. This included things from the other children at Wool’s (sweets he’d never dare eat, stuffed animals, socks without holes, etc) but also other more mundane objects people might have left behind on the streets— the odd button or two, polished rocks and shells from their beach outings, pretty shards of glass, marbles, newspaper articles he found of note, etc. In truth, his treasure trove cupboard was a mess.

Despite hating going to church, he quickly fell in love with how Latin sounded, particularly when sung— I believe this is why he didn’t protest too much being a choir boy.

Without a doubt too, he had a brief stint with Karl Marx and got in trouble with Mrs. Cole for espousing communism and trying to recruit (*cough* threaten *cough) the other children into joining him.

For a moment, before deciding on the path of being a professor and then a Dark Lord, he considered becoming a healer— he always had a fascination with the human body and its limits. Also, I just enjoy the idea that he came to Hogwarts bright-eyed and with more or less “honourable” ambitions (ie, medicine and teaching) and then having those ambitions become perverted and twisted a little more each time the Wizarding world failed him.

He chose the Ouroboros for his crest as kind of a little nod to his situation. The Ouroboros represents the cycle of destruction and rebirth— eternity— and shows that from destruction, one can experience rebirth (much like his form was destroyed but he was rebuilt from the person responsible for it). However, there’s also an underlying meaning. When the snake consumes its own tail (aka a piece of itself), it feels a sense of wholeness/completeness— much like how reabsorbing some of the horcruxes made him appear outwardly more “whole” (human).

Harri:

Harri absolutely loves the snow. Growing up, she never really experienced it (the Dursleys never bought her proper winter clothes so she wasn’t allowed outside often) but, when she got to Hogwarts, she spent almost everyday outside in it.

I really don’t think she thought too much about what she wanted to do after Hogwarts, truth be told. Her career paths kept changing on what she wanted to do, from Quidditch to teaching to becoming an Auror, and she really only clung to the Auror idea after so many people kept suggesting/pushing it.

She used to talk to snakes all the time in her aunt’s garden without ever realizing it was abnormal— that is, until she was finally caught in the act. After being locked inside for nearly a week and earning a few welts, she was terrified to talk to them again.

Much like Tom, she was also a “magpie” child. However, the biggest difference between them is that, while Tom collected things to “have” and to feel superior with, she collected things for sentimental value. Hedwig’s feathers, the first snitch she caught, her Hogwarts letter— mostly, they were things that reminded her that the Wizarding world was real whenever she was forced to return to the Dursleys.

Her handwriting is absolutely atrocious. She often has too many thoughts at once so everything comes out as chicken scratch— mostly because she’s rushing to get them down before they disappear.

She likes to use her wand to keep her hair up— much to everyone’s (especially Snape’s and Tom’s) horror.

Miscellaneous:

Bellatrix, without a doubt in my mind, is bisexual. Something about her just screams she’ll go either way and won’t even think twice about it 😂

Narcissa was the only one in her family not to be named after a constellation. In my head canon, her mother (Druella) always felt like an outsider among the Blacks (I also imagine her being blonde rather than dark-haired) and was more than delighted when she gave birth to little fair-haired, fair-eyed Narcissa. It was often a point of conflict in Narcissa’s identity growing up where she felt she never quite fit in because of this— and it didn’t help either her mother liked to say she was more “Rosier” than “Black”. Hence is why Narcissa was so insistent on naming Draco after a constellation, despite Lucius wanting otherwise.

Narcissa’s downtime hobby is floral arranging. One of her never-could-have-been dreams in life was to own a flower shop— however, she settles for making all of the bouquet arrangements in the manor.

Draco really, really can’t hold his alcohol— he’s such an incredible lightweight and everyone teases him for it.

Both Barty and Bellatrix were personally trained by Tom— hence is why he entrusts them with top-priority missions and views them as his seconds-in-command. However, who would win between them is a good question 👀 ((low-key would love to see Barty and Bella duel it out).

[bookdragonlibrary]

Miraculous Ladybug New York

The voices sound normal in French but seem so wrong in English and I don’t know what gives me this impression :/

There are a lot of things I loved in this episode/film:

First I’m glad the comic seems to not be canon anymore since it is Ladybug and Chat noir’s first trip to New York and they never met the US heroes before.

Cosmo Bug and Astrochat! I hope we will have a closer look and a longer utilisation in season 4 because this transformation looks so cool but was too short!

Miss Bustier being pregnant! So was she calling Miss because she is young and not because she is not married yet?

Marinette being to short to unlock the automatic door. 

Marinette in denial with Adrien is just a friend, meaning Adrien was also in denial of his feelings for Marinette this whole time :D 

A Black woman for the President of USA, the creators literally saying fuck the current timeline.

A black and a Native american girls as main US heroes (I mean they have most of the screen time of US heroes + about our heroes age) and a multiracial homoparental family. When Majestia says “it’s time to be our true selves” she isn’t only talking about Knight owl being a woman, but also about the both of them being a couple right? Maybe the Americans know Knight Owl and Majestia are going out but since they don’t know Knight Owl is a woman…

Adrien, aware or not, trying to be close to Marinette and knowing she did everything for him: making him come to NY, making the banderole when he left, etc. What if he changed target from Ladybug to Marinette?

Ladybug smiling fondly at Chat noir’s explanations at the beginning and accepting the flower. 

Aeon stepping in front of Ladybug to save her from the Cataclysm. Imagine how Chat noir would have been devasted if he killed his lady D: 

The Miraculous of the Eagle is the Miraculous of Freedom. Its power is to unlock whatever is holding back someone to reach their true potential, like fear, morality, etc. It’s like a big power up of what you would look like at 100%. Imagine Marinette if she is touched by this! :o no more clumsiness, only her confidence all the time! 

I’m glad the Americans Miraculi are based on American Native culture. Meaning the Miraculous spread across the world are the sources of the local myths, legends and symboles. Ladybug’s box is from Asia. So maybe we will have a European guardian, a Greek one with Miraculous based on the Zodiac signs, as they are based on Greek mythology and constellations’ names. But also boxes based on Celtic and Viking myths! We will have a Shanghai special soon, so maybe the third World Special will be with the European box. I mean with Miraculous World could be film length special about other boxes just like New York and Shanghai are. Maybe they will make more like those, maybe one per continent (the crew talked about Brazil so a South America episode, so we would have an episode in Africa and Oceania! :D)

Adrien transforms in Chat noir just to protect Marinette. He makes his presence known in NY, with the possibility of Ladybug knowing of this, to protect Marinette.

Sabrina finding a life outside Chloé and maybe having a crush in USA :) Plus, it’s an interracial couple :)

Barbara x Olympia, the Supermoms of the ML universe :) So Jesse and Eon are sisters? Since they both called Barbara and Olympia moms? And that they seem together?

The little kitty to make Ladybug know if there’s a problem in Paris. I hope Marinette will make a ladybug version just so Chat noir can know if something is wrong in Paris so he could transform. You know, since they can communicate only if they are both transformed…

Did you notice the irony of Marinette makes Adrien coming in NY and then being mad at Chat noir for being in NY >< The reveal when they’ll realise all the quiproquos from the start xD

Other things I think wasn’t understood by most of the fandom and my opinion:

Mayura making an sentimonster looking like Robustus in Paris to make it seems Hawkmoth was still in Paris. But I don’t understand Hawkmoth’s plan to give a Miraculous to the villain. He never made a stupid move like than, excepting when he made a Miraculous the akumatised object for Queen Wasp.

Yellow roses symbolising friendship is a new symbole, but they do symbolise jealousy in the past. On the Internet, it explains it was to sell more of these roses they changed to meaning. So Ladybug and Chat noir were both right about it. Chat noir is trying to show platonic affection and support to Ladybug

Marinette going back to her antics like in season 1. Well, it’s not easy to move on from someone and Marinette never had closure to help her doing it. By that I mean a clear no from Adrien because she never succeeded to tell him what she felt so of course, she still have a little hope. About her antics, she tried so much to flirt with Adrien or to confess to him since 3 seasons/a year, she doesn’t know how to act as a friend with him, so she panics and here we go. Marinette has anxiety easily. So she has to plan every scenario/the worst scenario to reassure her. But being friend with Adrien is new territory. So Marinette becomes error 404 ^^ I mean, before she would have be thrilled to spend time with Adrien, especially sitting next to him on the plane like she was where they were on the train. But now that’s too overwhelmed for her. 

Adrien wanted to tell Ladybug he’s going away too right away, but Plagg told him not to, because he wants his friend to have free and good time too because Adrien deserves it. Maybe they would have find a solution like the Horse Miraculous or going back to Paris thanks to the astrosuit. 

I think Ladybug say she can’t trust Chat noir anymore out of anger and doesn’t really mean it. We know she cares about Chat noir 

About Chat quitting. It’s not because he came to NY without telling Ladybug, I think the main reason he wanted to quit because he could have actually kill someone. We’re talking about Adrien the cinnamon roll. Do you think about how traumatic it would be to kill someone? By accident, yes, but the consequence is still here and the person would have been an innocent. He would have kill Ladybug if Aeon didn’t intervene and if she wasn’t a gynoid, she would have die for real. Maybe she knew she’ll be fine thanks to the Miracle cure or she just wanted to save a human life. So it’s the combo of nearly kill someone + Ladybug won’t trust him anymore that makes him think he’s not worthy of being a hero anymore.

I read people complained about Ladybug being perfect and awesome. Just wanna remind it’s from Adrien’s point of view, just like Adrien is perfect from Marinette’s one. Not that they’re perfect as people, but the other see them at such for them. When you’re in love you don’t see the person as perfect as a person, but as your partner because they are what you’re looking for in a partner. Adrien likes strong girls, with confidence, who want to fight for others and help them. Marinette likes boys who are gentle, sweet, generous, romantic, calm and relax to counterbalance her ball of energy. That’s why they see Ladybug and Adrien are perfect according to their standards. 

I’m not sure where Adrigami and Lukanette are… The second one seems to be in standby, Luka giving Marinette time to move on from Adrien and I stand that. Maybe the first one is processing thing, Kagami also giving time to Adrien to clear his heart. We didn’t hear Adrien’s clear answer since the finale. Or are they secretly dating because of their strict parents? The kiss seems to be on the cheek (pretty close from the lips from our point of view, but still not on the lips) so I don’t think they are dating yet, so the Adrinette was cheating? I don’t even think Nino and Alya know about them or Adrien knows he’s in love with Marinette or that his behavior makes it appears like such. He wants to spend time with her, to be with her, he’s thankful of her, wants to protect her, but still processing his feelings. Kagami and Adrien never had friends before, least of all a girl/boyfriend. I’m not sure they know what dating supposes to look like. Maybe Kagami confused feeling closed to Adrien because they live the same situation and being in love with him? I love Kagami and Luka but I know Adrigami and Lukanette won’t be endgame anyway so I try to not bring myself to much in those ships… But I hope they will end up with each other! 

Adrien isn’t a cheater. First, we don’t know yet if Adrigami is dating or not. Plus we see Adrinette interactions are romantic because we know they’re endgame and we know Marinette is in love with Adrien. (I’m not even sure Adrien is conscious that his behaviour could be interpreted as romantic.) So it’s just our perception that makes those moments romantic. Otherwise, Adrien did nothing wrong! What did he do? He was happy to be sitted next to a friend so he won’t spend a 12 hours flight alone (not like he can talk to his bodyguard or Mendeleiev...), thanked Marinette for made him come to NY, hugged her, helped her with automatic doors, hided with her because they were sneaking out, share a hot dog and they have been locked in a room. Yes, they danced but it was Alya who asked Jess to turn it into a slow. And dancing with someone else isn’t cheating anyway.

About Alya and Nino… Alya knows Marinette is in denial of her feelings and she might be frustrated because to her point of view, Marinette is giving up without a clear answer from Adrien. She didn’t know Adrien told her he’s in love with a girl (Ladybug, in Pupeteer 2) and from Marinette’s POV it’s Kagami who is also in love of Adrien. That’s why she stepped back in the S3 finale without knowing Adrien might have giving up on Ladybug (because she told him a clear no) and is trying to be closer to her. Alya doesn’t understand why Marinette is giving up on her feelings and from her and Nino’s POV Adrien is also crushing on her but isn’t aware of it and/or doesn’t know it’s reciprocal. From their POV, it’s like Marinette’s one on Adrien and Kagami: they both think Marinette and Adrien are in love wih each other but not aware of it. Alya isn’t giving up on Marinette because she think she is so close to hapiness and reciprocal feelings to give up just now.

New York being romantic… Well maybe it’s Hollywood’s fault and since a lot of French never went to USA, their only views of this country are films and series so their opinion might be biased? (Just like people think Paris is romantic when… it’s maybe not true anymore… It’s not the City of lights from before…) Same for USA being the country of freedom. It’s just become US save the world in every of their movies, against terrorists or aliens or whatever.

About Nino calling Adrien a baby chick, a little cultural explanation is needed here :) Chicks have not the same meaning in French than in English. While in English it refers to girls in a sexual/flirting way, in French it’s a cute pet name you call your child or a cheesy one for your boy/girlfriend. So Nino refers to Adrien as being innocent, like in a naive and oblivious way. 

Too many heroes in NY. It seems Hot Dog Dan and the firelights heroes are recurent NY heroes. But the other ones could live elsewhere and just come to NY because there were a big threat wih Techno Pirate. Since United Heroez are based on Justice League and the Avengers (or other groups of heroes, but I would say mostly the JL), they could have way to communicate and to travel fast across the USA right?

Questions: 

Where are the power of the US superheroes come from? From the bracelets?

Why Jesse and Eon have to supervise the Miraclass? Does Olympia and Barbara know Marinette and Adrien are Ladybug and Chat noir? Nope, they were surprised they are in NY. So why? To be sure they’ll be safe since they are a lot of supervillains in USA? (Since you know, they’re not a one-time villain because of an akuma here)

Was it Aeon’s fault if the door didn’t open for Marinette and Adrien? Or it’s really because Marinette has the size of a child? xD By the way, do the US door retract when they meet an “obstacle” or it was just for the comedy?

Am I the only one who think Aeon look like an Egyptian goddess in her hero form?

Tsurugi-san (forgot Kagami’s mom’s name) should know Gabriel is Hawkmoth, or at least he’s in NY because he is driving in a autopilot car from Tsurugi’s label. There is something going on between her, Gabriel and Audrey (see the end of the episode Feast).

We see Adrien protecting Marinette a lot during attacks. Is this a building or a foreshadowing of him realising he’s in love with Marinette (I mean being conscious of his feelings) because he will see her hurt during a attack? (Marinette could be fine, transforming in Ladybug just before being really hurt or killed by something but Adrien won’t know Ladybug next to him is also Marinette so… angst and tear?) could be Adrinette or Marichat but this scenario could also be a reverse with Ladynoir. Marinette seems to be more and more fond of Chat noir with time passed.

With the special, I think the love square would be changed in S4. Chat noir still cares about Ladybug but he’s not pursuing her anymore. So still banter but not flirting for ladynoir? But Ladybug makes heart eyes when Chat noir gabble about flowers and their symbolism :3 I don’t know if Ladybug will see Chat noir romantically but they may have an even stronger bond after all they have been through! So reverse Adrinette like in the special? So maybe... more Marichat? :D

Well that’s all I thought at the moment. Maybe I’ll add new things when I rewatch it for the x times. If you have language or cultural questions, don’t hesitate! I will add the answer to this post! ;D

[kitt3n00]

Devils Don’t Cry Part 2

3RD PERSON: Katsuki's POV:      Katsuki woke up that day with a low annoyed groan. He sat up looking around his fairly neat room before sighing and standing up stretching some till he heard his back pop. '6 AM?' he thought as he glanced over at his alarm clock on his desk. Katsuki made his way over to his closet grabbing his school uniform from the hanger. He laid it on his bed and made his way to the bathroom connected to his room.      Katsuki started the shower setting it fairly cold as to both wake him up and not accidently activate his quirk. He stripped off his boxers and tank top before stepping into the shower feeling the cold water run over his hot skin. After about 30 minutes in the shower he slowly turned off the water, stepped out of the tub, and grabbed his towel wrapping it around his hips. Katsuki put his dirty clothes in his hamper before grabbing some clean boxers and socks. He began to get dressed before putting his homework in his binder and then in his bag.      Katsuki made his way towards the kitchen making himself a small breakfast before he gathered his stuff and left for school. He knew they were doing some rescue training and it pissed him off. He wasn't very good at being a rescue type, he much preferred fighting and preferred the rush of hero work but, understood the importance of the recuing aspect so didn't put up to much of a fight when it came to practicing it.     Today they were suppose to have some new teacher, All Might and Aizawa training them for rescue. Katsuki stepped out the front door and locked it behind him so his parents wouldn't be mad then started walking down the sidewalk towards the school. He thought about how today was going to go as he walked. He stopped walking outside of an apartment complex and looked at one apartment in particular. This apartment used to belong to his childhood friend and former object of torment, Izuku Midoriya. As far as he knew Midoriya had been kidnapped, that's all anyone knew. 1ST PERSON: STILL KATSUKI:       'I wonder if he's dead.....no that damn nerd is to smart to die.' I thought as I looked at the apartments gritting my teeth hard. 'Damn Deku...' I sighed a little turning away and continuing walking. I walked into a convenience store buying a bottle of water for the walk and training later. As I left the store I swear I saw something that made my heart stop. There across the street was a green haired boy, not just any boy but that damn nerd, Deku. I stared at the green haired boy as he stared back, but something seemed...different.      He was taller then I remembered, more built too like he'd been training. His hair seemed more lifeless and his eyes....his eyes were like the damn Icyhot bastards. two different colors, one a dim green and the other a bright, almost shining, ruby red. They were defiantly not his normal emerald green, full of life, happy eyes. These eyes looked dull and lifeless which was contradicting with the large grin he seemed to have plastered on his face.     I looked away for just a second to make sure no cars were coming, but when I looked back...he was gone. I stood there perplexed as I stared at the now empty sidewalk on the other side of the street. 'D-did I really just see what I think I did? Was THAT really Deku..?' I wondered as I slowly began walking towards UA once again.      Soon the building came into my view cutting off my thoughts as a red haired teen around my age jumps on me shouting my name "BAKUGO! You were almost late! The bells gonna ring in a few minutes! You alright dude?" I looked at him and groaned slightly in annoyance "Hey Shitty Hair. I'm fine dammit. Lets go" I said with my usual dismissive tone to the red haired idiot. We made our way towards the class him going on and on about the training we were gonna do today.      As we entered the class the bell rang and Dumb Hair went to his desk and I went to mine. We took our seats as our teacher, who I would have sworn on the first day was homeless, walked into the room. He vaguely explained that we were going to another building about 10 minutes off campus by bus and that All Might in fact wouldn't be joining us and the other pro hero joining us was the rescue hero Thirteen. This sentence made Pink Cheeks nearly lose her mind as she apparently adored Thirteen. God this was going to be a tedious day wasn't it? 3RD PERSON: IZUKUS POV:       Izuku stood in his room in the hideout. He had left earlier to get a few things and was delighted to see his childhood bully, Katsuki, walking to UA in a school outfit. He couldn't help but stop and stare at the male with a sickening smirk and this seemed to make the blonde boy stop in his tracks when he saw Izuku.     After that Izuku hurried back to the hideout a smirk plastered on his face. He rushed through the bar door and to his room before Tomura could say anything to him. Izuku laughed in happiness remembering the look on Katsuki's face when he had seen the green haired male. He hummed as he went to his closet grabbing an outfit from within before changing into the outfit.     Izuku looked at himself in the mirror after getting dressed. He had to admit the tailor they had on hand did a wonderful job. Currently he had a form fitting long sleeved dark red dress shirt on with a black button up vest with red buttons. He also had black slacks and black dress shoes all together with black gloves. Izuku left his room looking at Tomura as he left the room. "Lets gather the others and go. I'm tired of waiting around." Tomura's voice came out annoyed and scratchy.    The green haired boy nodded in agreement and turned to Kurogiri and Tomura. "Lets go start a war~" Izuku basically purred as he spoke before feeling the familiar feeling of Kurogiris warp gate and darkness surround him.     As they came out on the other side they soon saw they were in a warehouse. Their other base. the one with their Nomus. They knew the plan by now, since they'd been planning it for a few months by now. The plan was to take a Nomu made to specifically combat All Might, kill him, and declare a war on the false heroes. And honestly Izuku couldn't wait to watch them fall apart. But for now he would play his part and be Haikyo, the ruined hero. 1ST PERSON: KATSUKI BAKUGO:     I had had about enough of this useless training trip. We had been on this bus for all of 5 minutes and everyone wouldn't SHUT UP! None of the other extras in this class knew how to mind their own business. Shitty Hair and Dunce Face were each sitting on one of my sides talking to each other and trying to get my attention in the process. Racoon Eyes and Soy Sauce Face were playing on their phones in front of me, not really talking to anyone else or each other for that matter.      Everything and everyone else on the bus seemed to just...fade as I let my mind wander. Wander back to this morning when I saw- thought I saw Deku. I looked out the window watching the scenery pass by as we got closer. I wasn't ready for trying to do something I knew I wasn't gonna be great at.     We soon stopped at a large building and unloaded off the bus quickly. I barely heard the female hero, Thirteen, saying something about this place and what is was called. Something like USJ? like Universal Studios Japan or some dumb shit. We all walked in as she explained more before suddenly something strange started happening.     Everything went dark few a second then lit up again then dark once more and normal again. A near by fountain stopped then started again and a large blackish-purple misty thing appeared in the middle of the building. The teachers each took a protective stance wondering what was happening as multiple people started stepping out. I took a step forwards watching closely to assess what was happening when we all heard our teachers dark words. "Those are real villains" and at those words all our bloods ran cold. But no ones blood could have ran colder then mine as I saw a teen with forest green hair and one blood red eyes staring back at me. "D-Deku..." I whispered as we stared at each other, him with a maddening smirk and me with an extremely confused and worried face.

More at https://www.wattpad.com/user/kitt3n0 

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High Ch 8- Adler Vs Adler

Chapter Summary: The gloves are off in court as mother and son go head to head.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words. Talk of suicide.

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Contains SPOILERS for the film!!!!! If you haven’t seen it please be aware of that before you read on. Also, those of you who do know this film well will see that I’ve changed the dates referenced in the court case, that’s because I brought the timeline of Gifted forward from 2015 (when it was filmed) to 2017 (when it was released). This was mainly to suit Fliss’ backstory of the Olympics. 2015 is too close to 2012 for me to make it work. Also Frank’s middle name is an absolute H/C too as I couldn’t find it anywhere so, sorry if this annoys any of you but, to quote @icanfeelastormbrewing- “my coffee, my fic, my rules…”

This chapter is a mix of Fliss and Frank’s POV…hope you all enjoy it. As always I’m a ho for a REBLOG and COMMENT! 

Series Masterlist  Main Masterlist

Chapter Song: Stand By You- Rachel Platten

And love, if your wings are broken, borrow mine so yours can open too…’cause I’m gonna stand by you

The first bit of evidence the next morning was the findings of the Welfare Department’s investigation. It had thrown nothing out of the ordinary up. The house was clean enough, Mary was fed…but they did point out that it wouldn’t be suitable for much longer as Mary would need her own room as she grew older, something which Frank’s attorney accepted on behalf of Frank, stating to the court that Frank had already considered this. Which in fairness he had. The Welfare Department continued then, stating that Mary’s interview the previous day hadn’t thrown up anything of concern, even if there were some questionable TV viewing habits, namely Ultimate Fighting but they were satisfied that overall Mary suffering no ill effects, mentally or physically from being with Frank.

This took them just under an hour, as they were factual reports. Both Attorneys requested clarification points but there were no questions or cross examinations. As such they had concluded just after 11 am and there was then a small 10 minute break to allow a quick consultation between clients and lawyers before Evelyn was to take to the stand. As people moved around, passing papers and files to one another, Frank turned in his seat and just as he glanced round, someone left the courtroom and through the open door Fliss walked in, dressed in a smart pair of black jeans and a light blue strappy top. He flashed her a smile and she gave a small wave, settling onto a seat next to Roberta who gave her a hug. She’d missed the early session due to having to sort the horses out but she’d cleared her diary and brought in cover for the rest of the day.

Frank turned back to Greg who was watching him, eyebrow raised.

“Well that was a mighty big smile Frank…”

“Yeah, well just spotted some back up, that’s all.” Greg turned to see the woman who was now talking to Roberta and he grinned, spinning back to Frank “Let me guess, Fliss?”

Frank nodded “Yeah, I’ll introduce you later.”

Greg nodded “I look forward to it. Anyway, back to business, that opening report from the Welfare Department was good, well as good as it’s gonna get. But man, Ultimate Fighting?”

“It’s harmless…” Frank shrugged

Greg shook his head “Whatever. This next bit ain’t gonna be as easy.” “No shit…” Frank mumbled, looking at his mother as she said something to Highsmith, her attorney. “She’s going to rip me to pieces, and no doubt enjoy doing it too.” “Yep.” Greg nodded “But, keep doing what you’re doing. No outbursts, stay quiet, focussed, listen. And if she says anything that isn’t accurate, or you think of anything we can use, note it down and I’ll use it in my cross examination, ok?” Frank nodded as Judge Nicholls banged his gavel down an issued instructions for everyone to reconvene. He called Evelyn to the stand where she was sworn in and Highsmith stood up and began firing questions at her, a well-practiced dance, Frank could tell.

From the gallery Fliss watched intently. She’d been late due to having to open up at the yard but had rushed home, changed and got here as soon as she could. As such she had missed the first session but Roberta had hastily filled her in, telling her it had gone well. She shot Frank another encouraging smile, just as the judge called them back to order, and couldn’t help but notice how good that man looked in his grey suit, light grey shirt and maroon and white speckled tie. He certainly looked the part.

Evelyn took to the stand and Fliss felt herself bristling as she utterly character assassinated Frank, depicting him as nothing more than an irresponsible bum, floating around with no purpose to life, who didn’t care about Mary’s welfare, preferring to simply fly by the seat of his pants instead of giving her any decent roots or thoughts to her needs. At one point, they started to question his motivations towards taking Mary being more about punishing Evelyn that actually caring about the girl. To this Frank’s attorney objected and as the two attorneys began to argue, Fliss found her nails cutting into her palms as she clenched her fists. Roberta gently reached out and squeezed her arm and she turned to the woman next to her and gave her a tight smile.

“Frank’s attorney, Greg Cullen, well he’s good…” she whispered, “He’ll go at her when he gets his chance…you’ll see.”

The objection was overruled, the judge telling Cullen he would get his chance to challenge that statement in his cross examination, and Cullen sat down, leaning over to whisper something to Frank who nodded, his eyes not once leaving his mother. Cullen jotted something down and then sat back to allow Evelyn to finish speaking.

By the time she finished it was almost midday so they broke for lunch, Judge Nicholls instructing everyone to be back in an hour. Fliss and Roberta headed outside to wait for Frank who met them shortly after.

“Hey…” Fliss said, giving him a gentle hug. “How you holding up?”

“About as well as I can for someone whose own other just tore them to shreds under oath.” Fliss’ eyes narrowed “I hope your guy is gonna give as good as she did…” “I’ll do my best.” A voice said. Fliss spun round to be greeted by Frank’s attorney.

“Fliss, this is Greg Cullen, Greg this is Fliss Gallagher.” Frank introduced them to one another. “I’ve heard a lot about you.” Greg smiled at her, shaking her hand. Fliss looked up at Frank and was surprised to find a faint flush of red on his cheeks.

“All good I hope?” she grimaced and Cullen nodded.

“Oh…very good indeed. I’ve been dying to meet the woman who’s made such an impression on him…” “Greg, piss off.” Frank said in a tired voice, before he nodded over the road to the café “Shall we grab some lunch?”

They ate together, made small talk, before Greg requested Frank join him alone for 15 minutes to go over the rest of the afternoon. Frank stood, and without even thinking about it gave Fliss a quick peck on the cheek. He winced as soon as he had, noticing that Cullen and Roberta were watching him and knowing Fliss was going to get an absolute drilling from Roberta he shot her an apologetic look as he walked away. She simply smiled through her blush and shook her head, turning to Roberta who nudged her arm.

“Ok, so…what was that?” Greg asked as they walked back over the road.

“It’s complicate.” Frank sighed “we both…we like each other but with everything that’s going on we’re…well I suppose we’re taking it slow. I’m focussing on getting through whatever it is that happens with Mary and then hopefully…what?” he trailed off as Greg was smirking at him.

“Frank Adler. Finally found a girl he likes that much he ain’t simply trying to get her into bed…”

Frank rolled his eyes and pointed to the courtroom “How about you concentrate on what’s gonna go on in there instead of what is or isn’t going on in my bedroom?”

Greg gave out a chuckle and patted his friend on the shoulder as they made their way in and headed into the side room they had reserved.

****

“Mrs. Adler, in your earlier testimony here today… you painted a pretty dim picture of your own son don’t you think?” Cullen asked, tapping his pen on his note pad. Frank remained stony faced, watching his mother.

“I’m under oath, I take no pleasure in it.” she said with a glance at Frank before she looked down, almost convincingly.

Frank just about managed to refrain from rolling his eyes.

“So, your son is a failure in life, your daughter took her life…you know, you’re oh for two.”

Fliss winced and glanced at Roberta as Highsmith said “Objection” in an almost bored voice

“Withdrawn.” Cullen said, his voice taking on an amused edge but as Fliss watched Evelyn simply eyed him, completely un-phased.

“If I go one for three, I’m in the Hall of Fame.” she shot back.

“You know baseball.” Cullen said, pushing his chair back “Fenway Park.”

At that something flickered in Evelyn’s eye as she glanced at Frank. Fliss followed her gaze and watched, just able to see the side of Frank’s face. His eyes locked onto her, his expression never faltering.

“You know, I’d like to go there sometime.” Cullen said standing up, pushing his glasses up onto his head as Evelyn turned back to him “How often in a year did you take Diane to the baseball game?”

“Diane wasn’t interested in sports.” Evelyn replied

“She never wanted to go to a game? Ever?”

“I don’t recall her ever asking.”

Cullen moved forwards a step and Fliss saw Frank’s eyes flick to him as he continued to question his mother.

“Just out of curiosity, Fenway, that’s a tough ticket. Where do you get yours?”

“My husband has season tickets.”

“And how long has he had them?” Cullen enquired

“30 years. But I’ve only been married to him for 20.” Evelyn informed him.

“And Diane never went to one game?”

Evelyn didn’t reply, simply raised her eyebrows slightly as if she was failing to see the point. Fliss’ eyes once again flicked to Frank who still hadn’t moved an inch.

“What colour was the dress Diane wore to prom?” Cullen changed his line of questions.

“Diane didn’t attend the prom, because she didn’t attend the high school.” Evelyn replied calmly

“No prom.” Cullen mused before he asked suddenly “What sports did she play?”

“As I told you earlier, she wasn’t interested in sports.”

“She’s calm…” Roberta whispered to Fliss as Cullen continued to question Evelyn about Diane’s lack of interaction with other children her age

“Too calm…” Fliss said “But I can see what he’s doing, trying to paint a picture of how she isolated Diane to imply that she’d do the same to Mary. You’re right, he is good…”

As they tuned back into the examination again, Cullen took a deep breath and glanced to his left

“Mrs. Adler, he said, looking back at her who’s Paul Riva?”

At that Evelyn glanced at Frank, her calm mask slipped ever so slightly but still Frank didn’t move. Fliss could see his expression now carried a faint, and every so sad, smile.

Evelyn gave a silent huff before she looked back at Cullen “He was a boy from the neighbourhood.”

Her tone was clipped and Fliss noticed the judge sit forward slightly at her change in tone, narrowing his eyes a little as he watched her curiously

“Oh, come on. He was much more than just a boy from the neighbourhood.  Paul was Diane’s first love. Wasn’t he?” Cullen asked.

Fliss and Roberta exchanged a glance.

“I wouldn’t characterize it that way, no.” Evelyn shook her head.

“And how would Diane characterize it?”

“Diane was 17 years old at the time. She didn’t know anything about love.”

At that Fliss caught the first movement Frank had made as he took a deep breath and looked to his left before turning back, his shoulders moving slightly in frustration as he shook his head slightly, his eyes locking back onto his mother who was carefully avoiding his gaze.

“Mrs. Adler… in January 2000 didn’t Diane and young Mr. Riva run away together?” Cullen looked at her.

“He coerced her” Evelyn corrected with the air of someone picking her words carefully.

“And where did they go?”

“Vermont.”

“And you called the police, didn’t you?” Cullen stated rather than asked.

“Yes.”

“Because he kidnapped her?”

“Yes”

“And where did the police find young Mr. Riva and Diane?” Cullen looked at Evelyn

“I told you, Vermont.” Evelyn looked at Cullen, her voice suddenly taking on an edge which made Fliss lean forward slightly.

“Stowe, Vermont. Wasn’t it? A resort town.” Cullen said, looking round the court room as Evelyn shifted uncomfortably. “Stowe Mountain. He took her skiing. You see, kidnappers don’t usually take their victims skiing.” Cullen paused from his explanation, when he spoke again his voice was calm, and slow, stressing the point perfectly “But this is what Paul did because he and Diane were in love.”

“No” Evelyn said firmly

“And when they returned, you pressed kidnapping charges.” Cullen’s voice rose in volume and speed as he spoke “You filed a lawsuit against his parents…until Paul stopped calling Diane.  Didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“And Diane never heard of or saw Paul Riva again. Did she?” Cullen’s tone was harsh, accusatory as he stared at Evelyn.

“Poor girl…” Roberta mumbled besides her and Fliss shook her head, in utter shock at how a mother could be so damned cruel and out of touch with her own daughter. It made her feel a pang of sympathy for Mary’s mother despite never having known her. Fliss couldn’t imagine what she would do without either of her parents being as supportive as they were.

Evelyn must have answered as by the time Fliss turned her attention fully to what she was saying, Cullen had asked another question.

“And how did she take it?”

“She was upset for a while. She lost focus.”

“She lost focus” Cullen said, turning back to the desk and picking up a small file “Mrs. Adler,” he turned back, file in hand “…in March of 2001 didn’t Diane Adler attempt to take her own life?”

“This episode was minor. It was nothing.” Evelyn said, her tone harsh.

“Nothing?” Fliss drew in a breath, shaking her head. For a moment she almost lost herself in another memory, of one rainy afternoon in Boston in October 2015…but she took a deep breath and focussed on where she was, as Cullen flashed the file at Evelyn.

“I have the hospital report in my hand.” he informed her

“It was nothing.” Evelyn said again, and now Fliss could see she was rattled. “Diane was not like regular people. She was extraordinary. And extraordinary people come with singular issues and needs.”

Fliss watched as Evelyn leant forward, her face creased in anger as hissed “You have no idea of the capability she possessed. One in a billion. And you would say fine, let’s throw that away, so the boy who cuts our yard can make sexual conquest? Well maybe before you make that decision, you stand in my shoes .I had responsibilities, which went beyond the mother-daughter relationship.”

She took a deep breath and spoke again, her voice louder this time “The greatest discoveries, which have proved life on this planet have come from minds rarer than radium. Without them, we’d still be crawling in mud. And for your information, counsellor, a year after this incident with this boy Diane thanked me for my intervention. She realized she’d made a mistake and she thanked me. You see, Diane understood. She’s was accountable for the gift she’d been given. And she didn’t shy from it.”

Every inch of Evelyn’s face was contorted with a mixture of pain and anger, and she radiated absolute fury across the courtroom as her rant built to its climax

“And I think, if she were here today, Mr. Attorney, she would refute your baseless insinuations, that she would give up her brilliant future and take her own life just because  mummy didn’t get her a little red wagon

There was a pause as she took a breath and sat back.

“No more questions.” Cullen said simply, turning back to his seat.

Fliss watched Frank who shifted, rubbing his chin with his left hand, his fingers curling round his jaw in an L shape as he stared at this mother.

***** When Mary returned home on the bus, Frank did his best to remain positive and keep his broodings to himself, and was thankful when Fliss suggested they head out for dinner. The four of them headed to the same restaurant he had met his mother at not long before. He ate, not really tasting his food, or listening as Fliss and Roberta chatted away. Instead his attention was completely on Mary who was stood with one of the waitresses at another table, where Mary was pouring sand out of one of the bottles that was used to keep the tablecloths from blowing away. The thought that she could be without such simple pleasure of looking through sand for shells, and lost to a world pressure and solitude like Diane had been killed him.

“Hey…” he felt someone squeeze his hand at the same time Mary held up a shell and showed it to him. He took a deep breath and tried to rearrange his face into a smile as his fingers tightened around Fliss’s.

“You know until I met you I thought sitting on steps drinking beer was something only red necked hillbillies did.” Fliss teased him when they were alone later that evening, Mary asleep inside the apartment as they sat outside the kitchen door, shoulder to shoulder along the top rung.

“Well, according to my mother that’s what I am.” he scoffed.

“And according to me your mother is a callous, cold hearted bitch.” Fliss said, with such venom it made Frank look at her. She took a deep breath, her voice softening “How can anyone dismiss a suicide attempt as nothing.”

Frank looked away, taking a pull from his beer. They sat in silence for a moment before Fliss broke it.

“You know back in 2015, about 18 months after we’d gotten married…I almost did it you know? Killed myself.”

Frank’s head turned to face her. She wasn’t looking at him, instead she remained focussed on a spot in the distance as she looked straight ahead. “My life was out of my control, and it was the only way I could think of getting some of that control back. So I took a shit load of buproprion and washed it down with half a litre of vodka.”

“Shit, Lissy I…” She waved his sympathy off and continued “After that I was offered all this help and support and…” she snorted bitterly “I still went back to him. He convinced everyone, including me that the issue was the fact that I was still brooding over my career being cut so short…and then told me that having a kid would fix the issue. In reality there was no issue to fix. I wasn’t depressed as such, I was abused. And that was simply another way of him taking control”

After a moment she turned to look at him, “And I’m not saying your mother abused Diane, not as such but she isolated her for her own, selfish reasons…no matter how she tries to dress them up or convince herself that it was for Diane’s own good. That first suicide attempt your sister would have made a normal, loving parent sit up and pay attention to what was going on. I know it did mine, as Bill never trusted John’s explanation, not one word.” “I should have done more too.” Frank said, looking down “But I was so busy, wrapped up in my finals and…”

“Frank, you were what? 20 and preparing for finals at Harvard.” Fliss frowned “Diane wasn’t your responsibility, you’re not her parent.”

“No but when Dad died, I promised I’d take care of her, always be there for her. I should have done more, and I should have known…when she turned up that day…”

“Frankie…” Fliss cut him off, her hand taking his “Take it from me, my mum and dad and brother went through all of this in their head. Did Diane give you any warnings at all because I know I didn’t?  Look at the lies and the world of fantasy I let John build up round me and detract from what was going on. I told nobody I was gonna do it Frank. And I told no body why I did it either.”

Frank sniffed and wiped at his nose slightly with his free hand.

“So you can either carry on beating yourself up over something that isn’t your fault or you can concentrate on getting the best outcome here for Mary.”

He reached for his beer which was on the step below him between his legs and nodded. She was right, he knew she was, but there would always be that part of him that wondered if he could have done more, it he should have done more.

“Are you planning on coming tomorrow?” he asked, looking at Fliss.

“Yeah, Joanne is covering again.”

“I don’t want to put you out…” he began but she shook her head.

“It’s sorted.” Fliss smiled. “She wants the week of Thanksgiving off so she’s racking up the favours.”

“Well, from a selfish reason I’m glad.” he said, flexing his fingers against hers, looking down at where they were entwined.

“I’m not missing your testimony, if only for the sole reason of discovering what your full name is.” she teased. Frank gave a huff of a laugh “Francis Preston Adler, nice to meet you.” he tipped his bottle in her direction. “Preston?” She snorted “Get out of town! There’s a place in England called Preston, it’s like 30 miles away from my home!”

Frank smiled, before he sighed.

“Last day tomorrow isn’t it?” Fliss looked at him as he stared straight ahead.

He let out a breath “Yeah, well last day of evidence…then we have to wait for however long it takes him to read all the reports and make a ruling.”

“Well then, I suggest you get some sleep, or as much as you can.” she said, and with that she released his hand and stood up. Frank did the same and he smiled as she leaned up and he ducked his head so she could kiss his cheek. “Oh, and FYI I got an absolute interrogation off Roberta before when you did that. Felt like it was me in the dock, not Evelyn.” For the first time all evening Frank laughed.

******

The gloomy, rainy morning matched Frank’s mood perfectly.

He sat in the dock dressed in his suit this time paired with a light green shirt and a dark blue and silver tie, feeling as out of place as anyone could.  Cullen went through the questions he had coached Frank on, questions designed not to paint him as a saint but as a normal person, doing the best he could for his niece in line with his sister’s wishes. Frank answered them honestly. Was he perfect? No. Had he done things correctly? No. Did he wish he had spotted Diane was struggling? Yes. Did he love Mary and want the best for her? Yes.

The questions continued along those lines until they broke for lunch. And then came the cross examination, and Frank knew he was in for a beating.

“Mr. Adler where are you currently employed?” Highsmith asked sitting on the desk to the left of Evelyn.

“I repair boats.” Frank answered clearly

“Oh, really? At which marina?”

“I don’t work at a marina. I freelance.”

“So, safe to say, no health insurance.”

“No.” Frank shook his head

“About a week before your sister took her life what were you doing for a living then?”

“I was a teacher.” Frank replied.

“You’re being modest, aren’t you?” Highsmith said, standing up and walking towards the dock “You were a professor at Boston University Isn’t that right?

“Yes, well, assistant professor.”

“And what’d you teach?”

“Philosophy.” Frank said, looking at him

“Truth and logic. That sort of thing” Highsmith gestured with his hands and Frank simply smile as he continued “Your attorney said that the primary reason that you took Mary is because it was what your sister would’ve wanted you to do. Is that a truth?”

“Yes.” Frank implored

“So Diane had visited Pinellas County before?”

“No” frank said with almost an air of amusement on his face as he looked at his mother for a second before he looked down and joined his hands in front of him in his lap.

“She indicated she wanted her daughter rooted and moved here?

Frank shook his head, closing his eyes “No”

“No.” Highsmith repeated “So you decided to bring Mary here, didn’t you?”

Frank licked his lips and drew in a deep breath as he simply stared as his mother. He was pleased so see her shift in her seat

“Did Diane had a problem with your health plan at Boston University?” Highsmith pressed.

Frank wanted to laugh. The guy was doing exactly what Greg had warned him he would do, attack his lack of healthcare, insinuate he wasn’t able or fit to provide for Mary. When he spoke his voice was calm, and he fought to keep his face as amicable as possible.

“Not to my knowledge.”

“Do you think she would want her daughter to have access to healthcare?”

Dumbass question

“Of course.” Frank nodded.

“So what do you do, when little Mary gets sick? You repair a doctor’s boat?”

Frank scoffed a laugh as Cullen objected.

“Sustained.” Judge Nicholls shot Highsmith a look and Frank stole a glance at Fliss. If the situation wasn’t so serious he would have laughed at the identical look she wore to Roberta, both glaring at Highsmith like they wanted to kill him. Which, to be fair, the probably did want…

The questions continued. He was asked why he turned down the scholarship at the Oaks in favour of learning at a first grade level, a level way below that she was capable of. The rain continued to drive down as did Highsmith’s questions, as they were punctuated every so often by a low rumble of thunder from the outside storm.

“Prior to Mrs. Adler giving her one. Did Mary have a computer?”

“She used mine.”

“Mr. Adler, does Diane’s daughter have her own bedroom?”

“No.”

“Does she sleep in a bed that you bought in a second hand shop?”

“Yes” Frank looked ahead, focussing on keeping calm as Highsmith walked towards the dock, gesturing now with his hands, his tone winding up

“So, the truth is, Mr. Adler that you didn’t come down here because your sister wanted it to and you certainly didn’t come here because it was good for Mary.”

Frank swallowed slightly and shifted a little, avoiding looking at the man as he tapped his hand on the side of the dock.

“No, it was personal. Diane was a star. You weren’t. Diane got the attention. You didn’t.”

Frank scoffed silently, oh please, and turned to look in the opposite direction.

“..and over the years You got angry. And here comes Mary. What a great way to get even.

At that he audibly sighed. He had known this was coming, that his mother’s attorney would try and paint him as petty and vindictive but it still hurt to hear it. Hurt that his own mother would have someone attack him in such a way. He’d defend Mary to the hilt someone was doing this to her…

“You’ve uprooted that little girl and brought her here for 1 reason only. To do harm to your mother. You blamed her for your sister.”

“No, I don't” Frank broke his silence.

“And Mary to you is just a pawn in all this.”

And that did it, Mary wasn’t a pawn. She was a little girl, a little girl who he was doing is best by.

“Diane wanted Mary… to be a kid” Frank’s voice betrayed his desperation and emotion, and he knew that…but now he was past caring, this was the truth, it was how he felt, and he was nothing if not honest. He locked eyes with his mother as he spoke, driving his words home “.She wanted her to have a life. She wanted her to have friends and to play…”

At that his mother looked away, her eyes glistening but Frank kept his on hers as she turned back to him, his final words were almost whispered

“…and to be happy.”

“You realize the consequences of boredom for a gifted child, Mr. Adler? They become resentful and sullen.”

“Mary’s not an angry kid.” Frank said, his voice calm once more.

“Really? Did she not attack a child on the school bus?”

Shit.

“A 12 year old tripped a 7 year old and she came to his defense.” Frank said, shrugging slightly

“Did she break the boy’s nose?”

“Yes.” Frank said, a little louder as he nodded.

“On October 16th last year, were you arrested for assault?”

“Oh, my God.” Frank groaned, and he looked down before he glanced back up, momentarily locked eyes with Fliss who he noticed had taken a deep breath. He looked back down, shaking his head

“You have to answer the question Mr. Adler.” Judge Nicholls reminded him

Frank swallowed and focussed on a spot on the varnished surface of the wood in font of him, just by the microphone. “A drunk idiot attacked me and I defended myself. What does that have to do…”

“Did you spend the night in jail?” Highsmith cut him off.

“Yeah.” Frank nodded.

“You are in way over your head here. You’re depriving that girl…”

Frank stayed still, shaking his head and glaring at his mother, all the while Highsmith continued ranting on at him

“…you’re gambling with her future and now you being presented with an opportunity to do right by her.”

“Does council have a question for my client?” Cullen said loudly

“Take the high road, Mr. Adler before she’s rapidly damaged.”

“Does council have a question for my client or not?” Cullen said, standing up.

“Yes, sir. I do have a question.” Highsmith said “Tell us. Is your continued guardianship really in the best interest of this little girl?

“You do your best, Frank. And that’s all any of us can do…” Fliss’s voice rattled in his head, and he took a deep breath. No he wasn’t perfect. Yes, Evelyn could provide for her better than he could but could she love Mary like he did. No, no she couldn’t

He stared at his mother, as he lifted his chine and spoke loudly and clearly.

“Yes.Yes, it is.”

“I have no further questions.” Highsmith spoke.

Frank scratched at his head and left the dock. Following the summing up, they were all dismissed. Frank shook Greg’s hand who told him he would be in touch Frank left the courtroom with Roberta, Fliss nowhere to be seen. He took a deep breath, realising she was probably going to run a mile after hearing about the assault. That wasn’t how he wanted her to find out. However, to his amazement and joy she was waiting for him by his truck. Roberta nodded to him and made an excuse to nip over the road to the store for a water leaving them to talk alone.

“Thought you’d gone?” he said gently.

“No I had to take a call from Joanne about a lesson… why would I leave without saying goodbye?” she frowned

“The assault”

Fliss sighed “Frank, I admit it was a shock to hear but…”

“At least let me explain.” he shrugged.

“There’s really no need…we all do dumb shit right?”

“He was a drunk idiot.” Frank cut her off “I was actually out with a friend, Jacob and his fiancée, Lisa, that night. Jake had gone to the bathroom and this guy bumped into us and sent Lisa flying into the table, knocking a load of glasses over. When I told him to be careful he took a swing at me only he missed and, well I didn’t…”

“You’re a regular knight in shining armour Sailor.” she smiled before she looked at him softly. “I know that was hard today. I was so angry and the things he was saying to you but…it’s done now. Try not to think on it because you can’t change the outcome. Whatever it is, you did your best.”

“You know I remembered you saying that to me.” he smiled, “Right as he was telling me what a lousy life I give Mary.” “It’s not lousy.”  Fliss shook her head. “She’s loved Frank. And she’s happy.”

He smiled again as she took a deep breath.

“Look, I have to go, I have a lesson in an hour now this rain has let up, but…what are you doing tomorrow night?”

“Working.” he said, chuckling as she raised her eyebrow “  Yeah I know, second Friday night in a row but…well I’m behind thanks to this case and whilst Roberta has Mary I can get a good few hours in and then get my head down before she comes back at midday”

“How about I keep you company?” she asked, “Only if that’s ok?”

Frank smiled “As long as you don’t distract me too much.” “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

**** Turns out Fliss wasn’t the distraction, Cullen was. He rocked up at the garage Frank was working at just as he was explaining to Fliss the different components of the oil filter he was working on, nudging her as she gave a loud, exaggerated yawn. She grinned at him, and he didn’t miss the flash in her eyes as she looked him quickly up and down, taking in his dirty jeans, hands covered in oil and his long sleeved thin blue sweater which he knew fit him pretty well. Part of the reason he had worn it.

“Hey…” Cullen said.

“Hey.” Frank frowned “What’s…” “I wanted to do this in person.” Greg said.

“I’ll er, give you a moment.” Fliss said. She went to leave but Frank caught her elbow gently.

“No, stay, please…” he said. She looked at him for a second and nodded.

Cullen explained how Highsmith had called him first thing that morning saying that they wanted to cut a deal which would see Mary in a fostering situation. Frank dismissed the notion straight up and Cullen continued to try and win him round, informing him that they could cherry pick and that it would be mutually approved and he’d already found a family in Tampa, which was what he had been working on all day. He continued to explain how Mary would attend the Oaks and Evelyn would get visiting rights and that when Mary was 12 she could go back into court and decide where, and with who, she wanted to live.

“You’re supposed to be on my team.” Frank cut his friend off, glaring at him “Why are you bringing me this deal?

“Other than I’m required to by law?” Greg looked back at him, and then suddenly Frank understood.

“You like this deal?” he asked

“I love this deal.” Greg noded.

“They think they’re gonna lose.” Frank leaned on the work-desk in front of him, looking at Cullen.

“Yeah. They do.”

“You think we’re gonna lose.”

“Yes.” Greg replied honestly. “I do, Frank.”

Frank looked down, swallowing before he turned to his friend.

“I gotta go put my kids to bed. I’ll do whatever you want me to do. But, if we leave this up to the judge…Nicholls, he’s old school, Frank. Does he like your mother? No. Does he like her income? Does he like her health plan? Does he like her home? You better believe it.”

Frank looked down again, shaking his head, unable to do anything else.

“I’ve been in his courtroom. A hundred times. And if it’s a coin toss…Look at me.”

Frank turned to Greg, his arms still leaning on the top, muscles straining as he grasped at a wrench in front of him in frustration, something to squeeze.

“If it’s a coin toss, that old boy is going to side with the money.” Greg said gently “So, do me a favour, Frank. Just meet the family. See how it feels. It’s all I ask.” with that he took a deep breath. “I gotta go…see you later. Goodnight Fliss.”

“Night…” she said to him, watching him leave.

There was a pause before Frank picked up the wrench in his hand and threw it hard against the wall at the opposite side of the garage, before he stood up tall and turned to Fliss who was watching him, her face contorted in sympathy and sadness.

“I don’t know what to do.” he looked at her, and every single emotion he had been holding back cascaded over him in a wave and he felt utterly and hopelessly overwhelmed. He couldn’t stop the tears brimming in his eyes and he bowed his head, once more leaning on the desk. He felt a warm pair of hands gently on his arm, nudging him to turn slightly and he did so to look at Fliss as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a gently hug. He pressed his face into the crook of her shoulder, his tears falling gently onto her soft skin as she smoothed a hand through his hair, gently soothing him.

“Sorry…” he said after a moment pulling back.

“Hey…” she said, ducking slightly, her hands now on his face as she wiped his tears with her thumbs, her own now filling her eyes. “Don’t ever apologise to me for being upset, Frankie. I told you, I was here for the road trip remember? However bumpy the ride. I’m not going anywhere Sailor.”

He let out a soft, watery laugh as he dropped his forehead to hers, his eyes closing as hook a deep breath, composing himself.

“You now no ones called me Frankie since I was a little kid” he smiled.

“Well it suits you.” she smiled, pulling away slightly. “You good?” He nodded, moving back out of her arms. “Do you think I should go?” he asked “Meet this family?”

“Frank…”she said gently “I can’t answer that.” “What would you do?”

“I honestly don’t know.” she shook her head. “I suppose there’s no harm in meeting them but, you have to be sure this is what is right for Mary. But I do know one thing, whatever you decide to do, I’ll be there all the way.”

He nodded, taking a deep breath. He gently took her hand and raised it to his mouth, brushing his lips across her knuckles.  “Thankyou.”

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