#this is alright

[sardonic-the-writer]

Hey Sard! I just had an oral surgery and was hoping to get an imagine/headcannon to help me cope! I was thinking a Charlie and Ted poly (or just one of them will work haha!) Where the reader (preferably he/They or amab they/them) just had their wisdom teeth removed and are saying the most random and silly shit ever (example- I was convinced I was d_@d in the car home). And Charlie is trying to calm them down, while Ted is just provoking the Reader's drugged state 😂 Anyway, thanks! Love ya :D

this is such a fucking hilarious idea. one problem. im not taking requests so stop sending them please unless you're mutuals. im only doing this for comfort right now since my nights not doing so well

"Okay, say that one more time again for me (Y/n)."

Ted's grin was poorly contained, eyes filled with amusement as he leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Th' fffucken seagulls. Coming to kill us all with their baby carrying beaks!"

"Storks carry the babies. Not seagulls."

"What!? Noooooooo."

You were currently laying on your back on Ted's couch, mouth swollen and brain essentially mush.

It was expected of course. You had just gotten done with getting your wisdom teeth removed after a few months of pain, something that was long overdue.

You had known you would be coming out of the dentist's office drugged and high as a kite, so you'd asked—read: forced—your friends Ted and Charlie to take you home afterwards, making sure that you didn't talk too much so you could heal.

Yeah. Only one of those things happened.

"Leave them alone, Ted." Charlie's words were serious as he awkwardly maneuvered his limbs to keep the ice pack in his hands on your face, but Ted knew he was just as entertained by your lunatic ramblings as he was. "They trusted us to make sure they would heal afterward. And I personally don't want to explain that the reason their mouth is bleeding again was because you wanted to hear about how seagulls are coming to kill us."

"Come on, you know they'd do the same to us if we were the delusional ones." He responded with a chuckle. Charlie rolled his eyes but silently laughed all the same, knowing he was right.

"Charles." You suddenly gasped, knocking the mans hand away feom your jaw and scrambling up to grab his arm woozily. "We're in grave danger. You must hide."

"..what?" He sputtered, halfway between laughing and scolding you for rushing up so quickly.

"Seaaagullsssss."

"Sit down (Y/n)."

"But the sky demons!" You cried, dramatically throwing yourself into him. He just caught you before pushing you back and looking at Ted, as if to signal for help.

The other man sighed, realizing that Charlie was right, and you probably did need to rest. And as much as he wanted to keep picking apart your brain in this state; he opted for getting up to walk over to the couch you were still on.

"Listen. If the seagulls come, I'll—" Ted paused a moment before continuing, remembering something he would say to Schlatt as a joke sometimes. "—I'll get the big fist to shoot them out of the sky."

You stopped mindlessly rambling at that, peaking open one eye to look at him skeptically. He nearly cracked a smile at your silly expression, knowing full well he would never let you live this down.

"Are you sure that will work" You slightly glared at him, dragging out the sure in suspicion.

"Very sure."

You didn't say anything for a moment. Ted's brows furrowed together as he waited for you to respond to him. It took the soft snores drifting out of your mouth for either of the boys hovering over you to realize that you had fallen dead asleep right in front of them.

"Oh thank god." Charlie sighed deeply before falling backward onto the floor with his arms and legs out. Clearly very happy that you had gone to sleep. "I thought I would have had to tie them down and force them to stop talking."

"Now that would've been funny."

"Shut the fuck up Ted and let me have this moment."

He just laughed.

[winnie-daze]

Redraw of the twins I Stan

[hotcinnamonsunset]

The Tiger (from the poem by Nael, age 6)🐅

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[reblogforsamplesize]

🐛 caterpillar - the returning champion of the 2023 race at 41.6% of the votes

🐌 snail - runner up of the 2023 race at 38.3%, only 3.3% behind the caterpillar.

🪱 worm - placed last in 2023, with only 20.1% of votes

🪲 beetle, 🐞 ladybug, and 🐝 bee are new competitors!

[gumy-shark]

made a beautiful google slides infographic in 60 seconds on why u should Fucking Vote

[pillowspace]

GIRLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT CYERCE ELEGANS

If Cyerce nigricans is a butterfly, then this is a fairy... Cyerce nigricans for comparison:

[professionalchaoticdumbass]

he transitioned, it's hatsune mike now

[goaheadandgetinthebog]

Several videos (independently) start circulating on the internet of the Waynes info dumping.

Bruce - the role of railways in westward expansion in the 1890s

Dick - clown eggs

Jason - tb and the New England vampires of the late 19th century, with reference to vampire literature

Cass - Paris sewer system

Tim - comparison of different camera lenses from different manufacturers, with model numbers

Duke - anti homeless architecture and how to remove it

Damian - cat declawing

After all this, a new meme forms.

'You must be this autistic to get adopted by Bruce Wayne.'

[a-tian]

I don’t want to find out about world events anymore

[catgirl-kaiju]

ALRIGHT,

LAUNDRY

SHERIFF

[that-butch-archivist]

"Dyke March 1994" by Morgan Gwenwald

source: The Wild Good: Lesbian Photographs & Writings on Love, edited by Beatrix Gates

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.

[borealiszero]

People should make more doomed by narratives siblings relationship.

Like with lovers you can just sever it and not have it related to you ever again but with siblings how could you?

You grow up with them you raise them or they raised you you both know how unforgiving the world is to both of you? You would die for them but will hate them for doing the same and yet none of you would regret it and both of you know it. They could be the person you loath the most and miss the most cause you still remember how they sneaked a candy into your hands. You can sever the tie but you can never look away at what you've lost, at whom you've lost because fate doesn't allow you to be together, eating dinners in quiet peace, if only there's another life, another time, where i can make you another plate of pancakes i would im sorry im sorry im sorry —

[pangur-and-grim]

Pangur stopped eating due to horrible, horrible stress of occasionally hearing a baby animal mew, so I have found a spot outside the kitten radius to feed her