#chuckle sandwich x y/n

[ohbabydollie]

just the tip w ted-😻

ted was embarrassed to have a hard on from watching you get ready for a party and asked you for a quickie

you knew ted and knew that if he actually fucked you, you’d be late by thirty minutes at least so you told him

just the tip

and he agreed, saying it would be only the tip

he swore it was just going to be the tip

but as soon as he heard your whines and the way you tried to squeeze around him on top of feeling your wetness drip down his shaft

he couldn’t take it any longer, shoving your hips down as he bucked up into you causing you to throw your head back in bliss, letting out a loud sob

he really couldn’t stop himself from fucking you completely, even when he promised just the tip

oh well, maybe next time…maybe

[spookitapes]

teasing jschlatt hc's

summary | teasing ur boyfriend at his friend's house backfires

pairing | jschlatt x fem!reader

warnings/cw | smut, choking, public sex, degradation, humiliation, rough sex, no prep, jealous!schlatt

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

not proofread, sorry for any mistakes !!

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────────

❧ teasing schlatt around his friends is not for the weak...

❧calling his dick small and making fun of his stroke game

❧ he just sits there and takes it

❧ tongue against his cheek

❧ sucking on his teeth

❧ you see the look he's giving you but it only fuels the fire

❧ whispering & laughing with his friends...especially ted

❧ so he waits till he sees you sneak upstairs to the bathroom

❧ follows you and doesn't even try to make it not obvious

❧ pushes the door open so hard as you're washing your hands it makes you jump

❧ "what are you do- shut the fuck up and turn around."

❧ his hand is gripping your throat, slightly cutting off ur air supply

❧ man handles you how he wants when you don't move

❧ ripping a hole in your fishnets bc he's too impatient

❧ "aren't you gonna prep me ?"

❧ "nah you can barely even feel it, right ?"

❧ thrusting balls deep in the first go

❧ doesn't let you hold back any of your pretty noises

❧"stop holding back. let it out. let. it. the. fuck. out."

❧ he accentuates his demands by thrusting harder after each word

❧"who owns this pussy?"

❧"yeah scream my fucking name, baby. let everyone know who makes you into the real slut you are."

❧ he's not stopping till you scream on his dick so loud the whole house knows what's going on in that bathroom

❧ "keep on crying. love how pretty you sound when you beg like that."

❧ he walks you back downstairs with mascara running down your face, hickeys covering your neck & chest, ripped fishnets, and cum running down your shaky legs

[bvnnyblood]

it's 2024 now and all i'm thinking abt rn being a pretty little priest(ess) and having zeus!ted, poseidon!charlie, and hades!schlatt all fighting over who deserves your worship by spoiling you with trips to their kingdoms and small reminders and gifts as to why they all need you.

ted, the king of olympus. he would bring up into the clouds, wrapping his arms around you as he gently places you onto the brewing storm clouds. he'd create a necklace for you, a symbol of lighting bolt to grace your collarbone as he can picture the jealousy ensuing among his brothers as they see the small trinket around your neck. he would gladly give you the sky, the stars, the universe if you asked him. his longing for you when you must leave him tears him in two, but he knows you'll come back to him. you always do.

charlie, king of the sea, who is nothing short of generous of his time when it comes to you. placing an air bubble around your head and guiding you down into the depths of the ocean to his palace, keeping your hand grasped in his, his large thumb swiping side to side on your palm. if he's unable to give you luxury of his palace, he visits you on land, gracing you with not only his presence but many shiny and delicate finds and shells that he believed reminded him of you.

and schlatt, ruler of the underworld, is far more than possessive when it comes to you. he rarely takes you to the underworld, but when he does he keeps you close. his grip on your hip never once wavers once you enter his domain, not daring to let you out of his sight for the horrors that lie all around that place. his throne room is where he wants to keep you: safe, secure, and with him. if he could, he would gladly take you as his queen. but he knew that marrying a mortal was just as scandalous as killing one without reason, so having you to himself as his devout follower would serve him an eternity of happiness. as he guides you home once again, he hands you a skull with asphodel placed in the eyes, casting a spell so that they may remain forever in tact, just like his adoration for you.

[slxtmeri]

ted brain rot going crazyyyyyy I just want to lay in his lap all sleepy and be edged

that’s all 😊

this is so so real

♡ especially after a long day, ted would happily let you lay against his chest, spreading your legs apart and resting them across his own lap.

♡ working two of his fingers into you, pulling them away when he feels you clench around them just a little too hard.

♡ you'd be whiny, throwing your head back against him, begging him to let you come.

♡ after an agonizingly long time, he finally lets you come, and he cleans you up, kissing you and telling you how good you did for him.

♡ afterwards, he slips under the covers next to you, and the comforting sensation of his arms around you lull you to sleep, and he follows soon after.

a/n: im so eepy rn and this made me happy thank you ray <33

[sardonic-the-writer]

CHUCKLE SANDWICH HEADCANONS ☆

• Being on the podcast for the first time is—an experience that's for sure

• Charlie Schlatt and Ted had all reached out to you before for collabs of certain kinds, so you knew them fairly well through the experiences (ie. minecraft videos, to be a beta tester for big projects of theirs, asking help with new editing software even if you were as clueless as them, etc etc.)

• But they'd never once mentioned bringing you on Chuckle Sandwich. Which you were fine with. It's not like they had time to bring everyone on the internet to it at some point, so for now you were content sitting at your computer listening to the new episodes while they dropped

• In fact, that's exactly what you had been doing when a little discord notification popped up on your computer, clicking on Ted's profile picture after pausing the video

• "hey. a bit last moment, but we have a spot open for the podcast right now and wanted to know if you'd like to be a guest"

• Attatched to the bottom of the message was a random meme you had seen him, and multiple others, send dozens of times before. But it still coaxed a snort out of you as you typed your answer back

• "yeah! no problem, mr. milk. just give me some of the details and I'll be all set. also, get some new memes loser"

• Four days later and you were sitting at your streaming set up with your hands behind your head, smiling lightly as they introduced you to the audio listeners. Who by now Ted had made clear he loved to death

• "So! First things first, gentlemen, any questions for our esteemed special guest?"

• "What's the weirdest thing you've shoved up your ass."

• "Alright, that's enough talky time for you, Schlatt."

• Honestly, the podcast went great. You often highjacked the conversation to go on a separate tangent without even realizing it, snapping your fingers with a "Hey! That reminds me of—" before continuing on

• Charlie especially had a great time. For once he wasn't the only one that uncontrollably giggled throught the entire—and I mean entire—games no games or bacon no bacon question

• I picture Ted trying desperately to keep the episode a salvageable one, trying to have at least one decipherable conversation to keep in the final cut before giving up when you Schlatt and Charlie started arguing about which gum flavor was the best

• "It's fucking cinnamon you neanderthal! You fucking pussies dont know how to handle a real mans stick of gum!"

• "First of all, the h in neanderthal is silent, Schlarengitus. If you're going to insult me do it right. And secondly, any answer other than mint is a pure crime."

• "Guys, guys, I think we can all agree that grape is the best flavor. Also, (Y/n), what in the actually goopy shloopy fuck did you just call Schlatt?"

• After most of the episode had been filmed, everyone was in agreement that this needed to be done again. If not for the views, then for the shit ton of fun you all had

• "Hey who knows? Maybe we can do a vlog in real life together and have a beat (Y/n)'s ass for liking the most basic bitch flavor of gum there is."

• "Say that to my face you little—"

• Yup. Good times

[renranram]

Baby making ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

nsfw + fluff

it's literally the title lmfao 😭

let's all be honest here and be straight to the point, schlatt wants to impregnate you ever since he saw you interacting with kids in unpaid intern

ludwig knew by putting both of you two in his show would make great content but he didn't expect he'll actually be an uncle soon

“ baby “ schlatt leans in as you work on editing a new video of yours, “ hm? yeah? “ you look up at him as you lower down your headphones

“ can't you edit later? wanna kiss you “ he states, whiney as he starts pecking your neck, you gasping, feeling his teeth sink in, “ jay… i dont think that's kissing “ you pat his back, hoping to crack a joke

“ y/n… be honest with me okay? “ he pause, pulling away as he faces you, cupping your cheeks as he continues, “ what do you think about children? “ he asks out

as you burst out chuckling, finding him adorable by saying that in a straight face, oblivious of his intentions

“ what? don't laugh im being serious “ he couldn't help but chuckle as he fixes your hair, “ no… it's just… i thought it was gonna be a serious question then you asked me about babies “ you smile

“ it is serious “ he defends himself, smiling at you as you take a deep breath, calming down as you nod, “ uhm… well… i like children..? “

schlatt looks at you weirdly, teasing you, “ ay! i dont mean it that way! “ you playfully hit your fiancé

“ i meant… i wanna take care of children, im happy to take care of children “ you explain thoroughly, as schlatt continues to tease you, as he cocks up one of his eyebrow

“ oh shut up schlatt, you know what i mean “ you chuckle as schlatt sighs, pecking your cheek, “ … okay okay i get it… but you know.. uh.. what about our own children? “

“ our children? “ you repeat, blinking in surprise, “ h-huh…? “ you ask as schlatt caresses your hair

“ toots… i… wanna have children with you “ schlatt confesses, “ our marriage is in 3 weeks… “

“ come on… please… ever since lud’s show… i wanna just… fucking bend you over and fill you up with babies toots.. “ he leans his face on your neck, as your body shivered, feeling his hot breath on your neck

“ jay..! “ you exclaim, surprised, “ what? if you've only seen yourself taking care of those kids, you dont realize how much im excited to wife you up and make you carry my children so badly “ he caresses you hair

“ y/n… babe… please “ he starts pecking your neck, “ toots… please… let me fill you up, let me see you carry our children “

“ … jay “ that's the word that you can mutter out, “ can we do it? “ he gently asks as you take a deep breather, before slowly nodding, “ … okay “

“ fuck… im gonna make love to you all night holy shit “ he chuckles in success as he easily carries you up from your desk as you squeal, surprised

the two of you lock lips, kissing eachother as schlatt holds your back for support before gently setting you down on your guy's bed, hungrily devouring your lips but being so gentle as he slips his hand in your shirt

fondling with your breast, that's why he preferred whenever you don't wear any bras, for easy access if yk what i mean

he gently removes your shirt, liking how your nipples perk up, as he breaks the kiss a string of saliva connects your lips, as he kisses your breast, his lips sucking on your nipples as he looks up at you with those endearing eyes of his

“ angh… jay “ you moan out as he trace kisses all over your body until it reaches your hips, his hand gently guiding you as he removes your pants and panties

“ does it feel good? “ he asks, as he threw your last piece of clothing on your bedroom's floor, as you nod in response, “ i want you to feel so good okay? “ schlatt smiles

as he gently divides your legs, making you spread out for him, “ fuck… how do you get this wet so easily? “ schlatt states before gently entering a finger in, causing you to gasp

“ because… you make me so wet “ you chuckle softly as schlatt chuckes too, slowly thrusting his finger in and out as he leans in to peck your clit

he savors your pussy as he digs himself in, tasting you as he moans out while you arch your back in pleasure, holding onto his hair as you moan his name out, “ jay… fuck “

he swirls his tongue in, fucking your hole with his tongue, he can feel your flaps flutter as he continues on

he licks your clit, swirling his tongue around it even sucking it, “ feels so good toots? feels so good hm? “ he repeats, mumbling as he eats you out

“ yes… yes… ah… schlatt “ you gently pulls on his hair as he continues to thrust his finger in while tongue fucking you, adding another finger causing you to gasp again as you rolls your eyes back

you wrap your legs around his head, locking him in as he notices your breath fastening, you're close, he continues to lick you out as your moans are getting louder and louder every second

“ b-babe… ugh… im cumming “ you breathe out but immediately regretted it as schlatt pulls away, as you whine, “ what the fuck “ you groan out, now pouting

“ dont look at me like that “ schlatt chuckles, “ im not letting my wife get an orgasm because i ate her out “ he replies as he unties his jogs, lowering it revealing his hard dick, not wearing any underwear since it's only you two home

“ remember, our focus here is getting you pregnant with our healthy babies, not tongue fucking you until you're pleasured “ he smiles, teasing you as he pats your cheek, pecking you

he slowly pushes his tip in, teasing you as he rubs it on your clit, “ then get me pregnant already… you're just teasing me at this point “ you pout as he slaps the side of your hips

“ so impatient, are you this eager to be a mother already? “ schlatt pushes his whole size in, gasping, feeling his dick fill you up, you can feel it throbbing inside you

“ fuck! “ you gasp out, as schlatt holds your hips, slamming his dick inside of you, as you gasp again, moaning, enjoying how you easily bounce off just from a thrust

“ you look more prettier like this, “ he teases you, leaning in as he folds your body in half just to able to lock lips with you again, “ i should fuck you everyday so we can be sure you get pregnant “ he added

his rolls his hips, his hands trailing all over your body, touching every part of you, his hands trace your curves, admiring your shape and body

kissing your forehead, cheek, neck, everywhere, this man makes you feel loved everytime, “ you're gonna look so pretty with my kids, yeah? “ schlatt fucks you up

“ you're gonna be my little pretty wife okay, gonna see you carry our kids, gonna make you be a pretty little housewife “

after saying those you can feel his pace fasten, god, it really does feel different without the rubber, you thought, as your room fills with moans, skin slapping, thrusts, groans and squelches

“ ah ngh jay- jay- please… “ you moan out, pulling on his hair as you can feel him throb, his thrusts getting aggressive every second as your body limps in pleasure

“ im cumming.. im cumming.. baby, toots.. ugh.. im gonna fill you up, im gonna fill you up with my babies, you're gonna… fuck… look so pretty pregnant, you're gonna be the most prettiest.. fucking housewife ever “ schlatt starts to peck your face before catching your lips

the two of you kiss, your tongues tangled with eachother as he finally cums inside of you, while you squirt your juices, unison with his orgasm, schlatt pulls out, chuckling in amusement as he sees his semen leaks out of you

“ fuck… you're gonna be a the mother of our children soon “ he smiles, pushing his finger in to keep his semen from leaking

-

a full year had passed, your child was finally brought on the world, you sigh out as you publish a new video, as you look behind, seeing schlatt was holding your daughter, carrying her as he smiles at you

“ is she asleep? “ you stand up, approaching them, “ surprisingly yeah, she's been behaving for me “ schlatt gently caresses your daughter face

admiring as the 3 month old scrunches her face in her sleep, “ she's a big mama’s girl huh? “ you ask, as schlatt nods, “ i think she loves you more than me “

“ but in her defense, if you're my mom id prefer you “ schlatt jokes as you chuckle, leaning your head onto his shoulder

[pequins]

munch schlatt hc…… also charlie if you may…….

(can i be 🍄anon?)

ofc :) welcome to jynation 🍄 anon!

eater jschlatt headcanons

nsfw ahead , mdni .

• to put it simply, he’s an all you can eat buffet type of guy. he is not for the faint of heart, this man has a oral fixation like crazy, eats it like he’s on death row and got his final meal.

• he’ll never admit it, but hes definitely came in his pants more than once from it before.

• no matter how many times you cum, you’re not getting up until he’s done. if you try, he’ll simply slap your puffy cunt, wrap his arms around your legs and pull you back to his mouth.

• loves to feel you gripping his hair, especially man bun schlatt the harder you pull the louder his muffled moans get.

• looks absolutely pathetic when he’s done, the entire lower half of his face wet, a string of your slick dripping from his puffy lips, looking at you with his glossy eyes and flushed face.

• trust, he gets more out of it than you do. after an especially stressful or busy day, its all he thinks about. ( insert “its like a reward” sound here )

• everything depends on his day and if he’s feeling extra playful or not, he’s not really the kind to be soft and gentle but when he gets into a particularly rough mood, things get animalistic.

• he’ll do it anywhere. party bathroom? in the car? on the kitchen counter? he doesn’t give a fuck, bonus points if there’s people around and you have to stay quiet.

• and if you tease him, act like a brat or do anything to purposely annoy him? he’s tying your hands behind your back and edging you for hours. dont worry, you’ll be done when he feels like it.

• oh you’re on your period? 🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️🧛🏻‍♂️

• mustache. all im saying.

• this man makes more noise than you, the vibrations from his groans make it hard not to cum on the spot.

ill link charlie’s here when it’s posted <3

[klintoris]

Keep going im close….

[squinch-depraved]

idea: schlatt and you trying some special sex chocolate and accidentally take way more than you mean to and the effects r starting to take place 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

-🐏 anon

oh this is yuMMy. delicious. scrumptious, even. thank u to 🐏 anon for being my first ever ask ily mwah i hope this is good i've never used these chocolates before but i might have to 🫣

coming home from a long day to your boyfriend's empty apartment was not what you were hoping for. you were hoping to come home to him watching something on the tv, rotting on the couch in his usual comfy clothes, playing with his two sweet cats, and just waiting for you to get home. in your mind, he would have sprung up to greet you the second the door opened, gliding through the apartment to place a tender kiss on your lips as he picks you up and twirls you around. but the unnerving silence you actually did come home to rips you from your daydream before he can place you back down on the ground and gush about how much he missed you. the cats finally skitter up to you, meowing and trilling in a way that lets you know they're absolutely starved for attention (he's been gone maybe 20 minutes, probably). cooing at the sweet babies as they butt their heads into your legs, you pet them and settle in for the night.

after having changed into one of his shirts and deciding pants weren't worth the effort, you stumble into the kitchen to grab a snack. lucky you, your perfect boyfriend had left a plain gold box of 12 wrapped chocolates on the counter! no labels, other than a little logo in the corner, but a small note was stuck onto the top of the box, reading: "take ONE - be back soon toots" along with a heart. you sigh contentedly and tear into the box. you hadn't had much time to eat today, and you were sure your boyfriend who loved to spoil you would be fine with you having more than the allotted amount of mysterious chocolates. what's the worst that could happen, they're edibles? at least then you'll have a story to contend with ted's!

the first chocolate melts on your tongue, leaving an almost rosy flavor behind that you can't quite get enough of. you debate if this'll be worth the punishment, but the chocolate was impossibly good, so you decide to go in for one two three more before dancing yourself down the hallway and into your shared bedroom. feeling slightly warm, you lay down in the middle of your bed and put some random video on the tv, dozing off a few minutes later. your job was exhausting, he'll get the hint you're sleeping and come find you when he gets home to a silent apartment. see how he likes it.

but he doesn't come home to a silent apartment. whimpers and moans bounce off the walls, echoing down the hall from your bedroom's open door. his eyes immediately dart to the little gold box on the counter, eyebrows shooting up in an oh, fuck motion when he sees the four wrappers littering the surface. he quickly drops his stuff where it needs to go and pops two chocolates in his mouth himself, figuring he'll need help keeping up with you after how many you've had, before quickly walking to the bedroom. the sight that awaits him leaves him standing in the doorway for a while until he finally decides to wake you up.

you lay there, babbling in your sleep, random phrases about how good something feels and how close you were. mostly incoherent horny gibberish. your (his) shirt has ridden up a bit, panties visible and soaked as you writhe unconsciously, desperately trying to get friction from a pillow, the blanket, something, anything. it makes him smirk, and he watches you for a moment before sitting down and gently stroking your cheek.

"y/n," you hear. "doll, c'mon, i gotta take care of you." you slowly come to, and once you process that he's here, he's back, you jump him. pulling him down to kiss you before attacking his neck with little nibbles until he pulls away, a stern (yet amused) look on his face. "i told you one. ONE. piece of chocolate."

you hide your face in your hands. "what the fuck did you do to me, j?? i thought maybe they were edibles or something, but this doesn't feel like a normal high? i'm sorry, i know i shouldn't have eaten them now but oh my god, what did you DO to me? i feel like a feral, ovulating, cavewoman or some shit!!" you whine, earning a laugh from him.

"they're sex chocolates."

you move your hands and look at him. "sex chocolates," you repeat.

he nods.

"why the fuck wouldn't you say that??" you smack his arm.

he grins and replies, "thought the mystery would be sexy."

"i mean, inadvertently, yeah!" you sigh, amused and frustrated all at the same time.

he strokes your hair and kisses your forehead. "i took two to keep up with you," he breathes into your ear.

you hook your legs around him and pull him as close to you as you can. "then let's go! c'mon, c'mon, c'mon," you pant as you grind up against him, groans spilling from his lips. "fuck me! touch me! something, j, please, i'm begging you," you plead, kissing him frantically all over his chest and neck. hands exploring under his sweater and dragging nails down his back, arching your back and moaning without him having to even do anything, he swears he's never been this hard.

the first time you cum, it's from his head between your thighs, tongue lapping at your clit and sopping pussy like a man deprived of water for days. he keeps going until you're crying, begging him for another kind of stimulation besides his thick fingers ramming in and out of you and his chops brushing against your purple-marked thighs. the second time you cum is also from his masterful mouth, and this time he listens when you say you can't take it anymore. he drags himself up to look at you, kisses you in a way that leaves you breathless, and slowly pushes himself into you as you whine and squirm.

round one, he starts gentle, slowly working his way up to a medium pace, where he starts fondling your chest. once he really gets going, though, he's spitting on you, choking you, and rubbing your clit with his thumb all while pounding into you at an incredible pace. "so good for me, toots," he growls, fucking into you almost inhumanely now. all you can manage is a whimper. you cum once more before he pulls out and makes you suck him off til he finishes, grabbing your hair and guiding you up and down, and then really far down before cumming down your throat.

ten minutes of making out later and round two starts with him shoving you down, hands and knees, so he can shove himself into you from behind. something about the recoil of your ass makes his brain short circuit. he brings his hand around to your clit again and it's not long before you're screaming that you're about to cum again, and he smacks your ass so hard you know it's going to leave a mark and says, "fuckin' cum for me, you stupid slut. can't listen to directions but i bet you'll follow that one, huh?" through gritted teeth. you cry out and collapse as your fourth orgasm rips through you. he holds you up long enough for him to somehow speed up before filling you up with his pearlescent seed.

you both lay there for a second before he kisses the back of your head and pulls out, leaving to go get you some water and then help you to the bathroom. you make a mental note to always eat more than one of those chocolates and sigh, finally feeling satisfied.

[buckys-goodgirl]

agghhrdgghhaa..

GIVE ME HIM RN HE CANT BE REAL LIKE ARRGHH

[ohbabydollie]

Mafia ted getting pissed when some of his goons rob the bakery you work at.

"So yeah, we went to that one bakery down the street and took some stuff, was pretty easy."

"You did WHAT?"

- 🐝 (please excuse me if this doesnt make sense, im veryyy sleep deprived)

did this one rq bc I js luvvvv mafia ted rn (also hiiii 🐝, how are you?)

they didn’t know, truly and honestly if they had known it was you, they wouldn’t have done anything.

they wouldn’t even have thought to rob your little bakery, but hey, everyone makes mistakes

sadly that logic doesn’t apply to ted

when he saw his goons coming in all go lucky and happy with a few thousand dollars and some treats, he didn’t assume much until he recognized one of the cookies

���where’d you get that?” ted asks looking at one of them

“oh this bakery on 28th street, pretty good” he says munching on it.

ted nods in agreement, “and where did you get the money from?”

“same place” the other one pipes in, “it was pretty easy”

ted feels his face turn red through anger and embarrassment, how he was trying to look out for you and these mother fuckers fucked it up.

he grabs his gun and hits them with the barrel harshly, “GO RETURN THE MONEY” he roars, causing them to scramble to their feet

they gulp heavily, ���we, um, we spent half of the money” one of them mutters

“YOU WHAT!” ted screams, grabbing them by their collar, “WHAT THE FUCK!”

ted throws him down and rubs his temples angrily, thinking about you and how hard you’ve been working lately, trying to keep up with the sudden demand in sales.

he knows you won’t take a hand out, so he thinks of the next best idea, “give me whatever you have left over” he says

the next day you get to the bakery, looking at the broken lock from the back as you frown, already thinking of replacing it and having to pay for it.

‘the thieves probably took the money from the register too’ you thought walking inside and looking at the register, sadly opening it up only to see a envelope on top.

you slowly opened it, seeing a wad of cash inside along side a note

sorry I broke your lock, I just wanted some snacks and did something stupid. I hope this is enough to cover it

slowly you count the money, smiling as it was much more than you had made the previous day and more than enough to replace your locks.

you hear a knock at the front door, looking up and seeing ted with a smile. you rush over to open the door, “ted, the craziest thing just happened” you say happily

“really? do tell”

[spookitapes]

jschlatt nsfw visuals part l

summary | porn i associate with jschlatt bc i’m a whore for him

pairing | jschlatt x fem!reader (kinda ft. chuckle sandwich & friends)

warnings/cw | porn, smut, choking, slapping, spanking, daddy kink, getting caught by your friends, rough sex, edging, public sex, fucking in someone else’s bed, degradation, praise, humiliation, orgasm ban, anal, overstimulation, drunk/high sex (with consent), car sex

!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!

!! you need to log in to twitter to see the vids from there !!

not proofread, sorry for any mistakes !!

─────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ────────

quickies

❧ “such a slut for me, aren’tcha sweetheart? yeah, you’re so goddamn easy for me.”

❧ fucks you like he HATES you during quickies…especially if you were being a brat or teasing him beforehand

❧ he’s going all out for the short amount of time given..give him 5 minutes or 5 hours he’s gonna have your legs shaking by the end of it.

❧ that man is gonna choke you, slap you, spit in your mouth, and still have time to fuck your throat with his dick that’s covered in your cum.

in an unlocked room of a nye party

❧ you did not see yourself ending up here…on some dude’s bed at a nye streamer party your boyfriend invited you to

❧ but schlatt doesn’t tolerate disrespect well. so when the host’s roommate started flirting with you as soon as he disappeared to get you two drinks…you knew he ur pussy was done

❧ he watched in amusement as you tried to let him down easy at first, but when he started calling you a bitch and grabbing at you it took schlatt all of three seconds to be between you two

❧ his fist clenched the man’s collar as you tried to calm him down

❧ “baby it’s okay- i’m okay!”

❧ “he’s not worth it, jonny!”

❧ “b-baby please just let it go!”

❧ he dropped eye contact with the man when he felt your nails digging into his shoulder

❧ he knew he had to push him away when he saw the worried look on your face— tears threatening your waterline

❧ but big guy’s gotta get his frustrations out somehow, and he knows the perfect way to get revenge and make you feel better

❧ so with a sigh, he releases the douchebag’s shirt with a shove and grabs your hand to lead you upstairs

❧ “yeah i bet you like gettin fucked on this prick’s bed knowing he could walk in at anytime, huh? like knowing the closest that bastard’s ever gonna get to this pussy is the fucking stain on his sheets.”

❧ you’re praying to the almighty man himself that jonny doesn’t notice the way your stomach twists up with the flames of an orgasm building..

❧ but god’s not listening and he’s laughing along with your boyfriend..who’s grinning down at you as he leans in to your ear

❧ “oh i felt that, sweetheart. felt this slutty pussy tighten up on me when i said that. knew you were nasty— but fuuuuuccck.”

❧ he’s g r o w l i n g his words out at this points

❧ teeth pulling on your earlobe followed by his hot breath fanning against it

❧ “m’gonna make you squirt all over this fucking comforter, doll. leave him a gift to push his face into as he jerks his sorry excuse of a dick off.”

❧ safe to say you two left a wet spot the size of russia and a lasting impression on twitter.

(bonus)

❧ “and to think you kept whining about some dumb kiss…shoulda known i always go above and beyond for my girl.”

giving you a punishment one two three

❧ “count or im startin over, understand?”

❧ don’t even think out nodding your head..

❧ cause he’ll put his fingers in your hair and yank your head back to meet his eyes as his other hand lands the first smack on your ass

❧ “use your goddamn words..you know better than that, angel.”

❧ “y-yes sir!! i understand! i’m sorry won’t happen again..i’ll listen— promise !!” comes tumbling out in a high pitched whine

❧ “ya better or you’re not cumming at all. gonna bruise this ass and leave ya all messy and unsatisfied like a whore. you want that, y/n ?”

❧ as hot as that sounds you definitely don’t want that..too horny and too pent up to be able to breathe without cumming

❧ so you fall into submission easily, counting out each spank he gives you

❧ thanking him profusely after he’s satisfied enough to slide his big fingers into your cunt

❧ “don’t thank me yet, i still haven’t decided to let you cum.”

❧ he can sense the frown spreading across your face at the whine you let out, so he picks up the pace of finger fucking you

❧ his unoccupied hand returning to giving you more harsh slaps across the ass

❧ “drop the attitude, toots or m’not gonna let you cum. just gotta keep being a good girl for me, can ya do that? can ya reach back here and give daddy a kiss?”

❧ so you gather all your strength as you strain your upper half to face him, tears falling down your cheeks as you reach for his lips

❧ it’s anything but what you’re expecting— slow and passionate. full of the love and softness as he batters your pussy and let’s you moan into his mouth

❧ “such a fucking good girl for me, knew you were in there somewhere. my pretty doll just needed to be reminded of her place, huh? fuck your self back on— thaaaat’s it.”

❧ but every time you’re about to cum he’s pulling his fingers out and spanking your pussy

❧ the frustration builds as you thrash around

❧ whining that “s’not fuckin fair!”

❧ “keep strugglin and i’ll really give you something to cry about.”

❧ his harsh tone makes you come to a halt, eyes red & legs shaking from being pulled back from the edge so many times

❧ and as soon as you still and meet his gaze he’s bullying his digits back into your sore pussy again

(bonus)

❧ “go ahead and cum for me, baby. been so good— yeah, cream all over my fingers…goooood fuckin girl.”

❧ sometimes instead of edging you jonny gives you exactly what you want…he’ll let you cum and he’s not gonna stop till you can’t cum anymore.

❧ “keep on fucking whining like you didn’t ask for this, y/n.”

❧ your chest is pressed against his and he’s got a death grip on your waist

❧ the only sound in the room is your loud cries and the sloppy fucking of his fingers into you

❧ your ass high in the air as he drills your pussy, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of your tired body

❧ “keep still-stop goddamn squirmin!”

❧ it’s barked into your ear, chops scratching your skin as he roughly grabs your jaw and forces your eyes to meet

❧ “i swear to god if keep moving i’ll strap the hitachi to your clit and leave you here all night.”

❧ before you can respond he’s setting a lightening quick pace, pussy spasming round him once again

❧ “fuuuck give it to me, darlin. you can keep going, come on and show me how good this pussy cums for me.”

❧ he only does it as an end to an orgasm ban (when you break a rule so he doesn’t let you cum for a certain amount of time..not even by yourself)

❧ you have to seriously piss schlatt off for him to ban you (he loves your pussy too much)

❧ but when he does…

❧ he’s not touching your pussy at all

❧ not gonna let you touch it either

❧ not even allowed to have your clit played with when it’s a punishment fuck

❧ you have to get off from the anal alone and if you don’t…that’s not his problem lmao

❧ maybe next time you’ll listen and behave for him…

❧ till then he’s using your ass as a fleshlight and lettin your week-long neglected pussy leak out so much it covers your thighs & all of his lower half

(bonus)

❧ “oh goddamn it, babydoll. didn’t know i could get you to squirt without even touching your pussy..imma have to do it again.”

late night car shenanigans one two

❧ it started off so innocent 🥲

❧ jonny asking if you wanted to ride around and listen to music with him at 3 am

❧ it’s a usual thing you two do together when you couldn’t sleep so you didn’t think much of it

❧ so you slipped on a tank top & a cardigan with a cute new mini skirt to match

❧ little did you know that skirt is your boyfriend’s new found kryptonite

❧ so now the skirt’s bunched around your waist

❧ your back’s pressed half against the door half against the passenger seat with your boyfriend’s fingers deep inside your pussy as he speeds down the interstate

❧ the loud bass that’s usually filled the car is silent

❧ schlatt wants to be sure he can hear his favorite symphony— your noises accompanied by the sounds of your wet pussy

(bonus)

❧ “whatcha want to eat, love? i know cumming like that had to make you work up an appetite.”

❧ “don’t worry about me i’ll eat my favorite meal at home. it’s hot and ready whenever i want.” (yes he’d make a little caesar’s joke about ur coochie tell me i’m wrong)

❧ camping with chuckle sandwich seemed like a good idea

❧ till you were drunk in the woods and only 10 feet away from your friends in tents

❧ “j-jonny we can’t..not with them right there.”

❧ “come on doll, they won’t even notice.”

❧ “you and i both know i can’t stay quiet enough for that..baby please.”

❧ as tipsy as he is he knows you’re right..so he sneaks you two out of the tent

❧ he grabs two new beers and leads you back to the parking lot of the forrest

❧ once you’re in the car it’s game over

❧ you’re both insatiable as you make out on his lap

❧ in your drunken kiss you knock the sun visor down and a pre-rolled blunt falls between you two on your laps

❧ you bite your lip as you look between the blunt and your boyfriend..hoping he catches your drift

❧ he catches that shit.

❧ so now your getting railed in the passenger seat as schlatt leans over you and shotguns the smoke into your mouth

❧ the feeling of being cross faded adds so much to being fucked

❧ you’re so sensitive it’s insane

❧ schlatt swears he’s never heard you making these types of noises before

❧ doesn’t even care about the carpet burn that’s starting to form on his knees

❧ the feeling of being crossed and inside of you is enough to make him speed up is thrusts

❧ you’re so lost in each other you don’t realize the sun starting to rise

❧ so lost in the sauce jonny just turns his phone off to stop it from ringing (he doesn’t even check to see who it is RIP)

❧ or hear the footsteps and calls of your names nearing the parking lot

❧ or when your friends finally knock on the car door they’re met with a porn star level performance from you both

❧ you’ll blame it on the substances later because right now nothing is gonna stop you both from covering the seat in another load of your almost future children

(bonus)

❧ “do you think they know?”

❧ schlatt gives you a small smile and kiss to the forehead

❧ “of course not, doll”

❧ you settle at the news, anxiety leaving your body

❧ “we DEFINITELY know.”

[sardonic-the-writer]

Hey Sard! I just had an oral surgery and was hoping to get an imagine/headcannon to help me cope! I was thinking a Charlie and Ted poly (or just one of them will work haha!) Where the reader (preferably he/They or amab they/them) just had their wisdom teeth removed and are saying the most random and silly shit ever (example- I was convinced I was d_@d in the car home). And Charlie is trying to calm them down, while Ted is just provoking the Reader's drugged state 😂 Anyway, thanks! Love ya :D

this is such a fucking hilarious idea. one problem. im not taking requests so stop sending them please unless you're mutuals. im only doing this for comfort right now since my nights not doing so well

"Okay, say that one more time again for me (Y/n)."

Ted's grin was poorly contained, eyes filled with amusement as he leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

"Th' fffucken seagulls. Coming to kill us all with their baby carrying beaks!"

"Storks carry the babies. Not seagulls."

"What!? Noooooooo."

You were currently laying on your back on Ted's couch, mouth swollen and brain essentially mush.

It was expected of course. You had just gotten done with getting your wisdom teeth removed after a few months of pain, something that was long overdue.

You had known you would be coming out of the dentist's office drugged and high as a kite, so you'd asked—read: forced—your friends Ted and Charlie to take you home afterwards, making sure that you didn't talk too much so you could heal.

Yeah. Only one of those things happened.

"Leave them alone, Ted." Charlie's words were serious as he awkwardly maneuvered his limbs to keep the ice pack in his hands on your face, but Ted knew he was just as entertained by your lunatic ramblings as he was. "They trusted us to make sure they would heal afterward. And I personally don't want to explain that the reason their mouth is bleeding again was because you wanted to hear about how seagulls are coming to kill us."

"Come on, you know they'd do the same to us if we were the delusional ones." He responded with a chuckle. Charlie rolled his eyes but silently laughed all the same, knowing he was right.

"Charles." You suddenly gasped, knocking the mans hand away feom your jaw and scrambling up to grab his arm woozily. "We're in grave danger. You must hide."

"..what?" He sputtered, halfway between laughing and scolding you for rushing up so quickly.

"Seaaagullsssss."

"Sit down (Y/n)."

"But the sky demons!" You cried, dramatically throwing yourself into him. He just caught you before pushing you back and looking at Ted, as if to signal for help.

The other man sighed, realizing that Charlie was right, and you probably did need to rest. And as much as he wanted to keep picking apart your brain in this state; he opted for getting up to walk over to the couch you were still on.

"Listen. If the seagulls come, I'll—" Ted paused a moment before continuing, remembering something he would say to Schlatt as a joke sometimes. "—I'll get the big fist to shoot them out of the sky."

You stopped mindlessly rambling at that, peaking open one eye to look at him skeptically. He nearly cracked a smile at your silly expression, knowing full well he would never let you live this down.

"Are you sure that will work" You slightly glared at him, dragging out the sure in suspicion.

"Very sure."

You didn't say anything for a moment. Ted's brows furrowed together as he waited for you to respond to him. It took the soft snores drifting out of your mouth for either of the boys hovering over you to realize that you had fallen dead asleep right in front of them.

"Oh thank god." Charlie sighed deeply before falling backward onto the floor with his arms and legs out. Clearly very happy that you had gone to sleep. "I thought I would have had to tie them down and force them to stop talking."

"Now that would've been funny."

"Shut the fuck up Ted and let me have this moment."

He just laughed.

[renranram]

Maid dress

nsfw!!

schlatt jerking off to reader while she's streaming, obvi inspired when j bought wenston some maid outfits and people were calling him his sugar daddy lols

a/n ; 886 words :)

reader flaunts herself at the camera, spinning whilst she tries on the maid outfit schlatt had bought her, " chat, do i look pretty? " she smiles as she assembles the outfit

meanwhile schlatt was on the call with her, eyes immensely focused on her live stream, " jesus fuck, you look worse " he mutters as reader glares at him through the camera

" well, you bought this for me, so maybe it's not me who's the problem " she rolls her eyes at him as schlatt chuckles, not taking his eyes off his screen once

the two had been close friends for over a year now, meeting through, shamefully, the dsmp, the duo are very different ccs on their own, reader being more into makeup and gaming whilst schlatt's varies

ever since they first met on the server the two just sparked a connection, coming off as frenemies for the public, a banter of theirs but exactly off camera, it was a whole different story

schlatt is reader's sugar daddy

at first reader would just joke about being broke, " oh my fucking godd it's so pretty but i dont wanna waste my money ", " that's so fucking expensive ", " okay im broke " until schlatt got tired and actually offered her to be her sugar daddy

at first reader thought it was a joke, a silly new banter for them but nope!, every week, new parcels would arrive on the streamer's doorstep with small notes, but chat doesn't know that, chat doesn't need to know that

" fine, ill get you a new one done " he mumbles, as he scrolls through amazon, " anime french maid apron lolita fancy dress cosplay costume furry cat ear gloves socks set " he reads out the title causing reader to chuckle as they wear the stockings for the uniform

" oh it comes in pink " he added as reader smiles, " i like pink " she replies as schlatt scoffs, " of course you do "

as the girl sits down on her bed to wear the stockings, schlatt's eyes linger down on her bare thighs, enjoying the view as he leans back on his chair

" do you need something else too? " he mutters as reader gasps, " oh my gosh! you should buy me that uhm... blaire doll thing " she smiles as schlatt shakes his head, " blaire doll thing? " he repeats her, " the fuck is that? "

reader tries to wear the collar to complete the look, " it's like a doll! " she states as she grabs her phone to show off the picture

" that's an ugly looking doll " he mutters, as he gulps, looking down at his now hard on, unironically finding reader in a whole cat maid dress... hot

" more uglier than you are " she retorts as he chuckles, " guess no more doll for you then " schlatt replies, shrugging as reader gasps, now pouting

" im kiddingggg pleaseee buy me one? " she pleads looking at the camera as her live chat speeds up, " .. fuck.. " he groans out, not loud enough for his mic to pick up, him slowly sliding in his hand inside his shorts

" please please please " she continues, as she reads off the chat, " please jschlatt senpai " she bursts out laughing, mentally cringing as schlatt chuckles, " ..fine "

" yay! chat! we fucking wonnn! " she celebrates as she jumps around the frame, clasping her hands together, " we're the best at this shit " she shrugs, smug, unaware that the man she's in a call with is already jerking off to her

" reader.., think im gonna mute for a sec, gotta do something " he mumbles as reader nods, understanding, " bet, im gonna talk with chat for a bit " she smiles, as schlatt immediately mutes himself

" fuck.. what a fucking whore.. i didn't actually think she'd do a stream " schlatt chuckles, amused as he palms himself, as reader did what she said, interacting with her audience

" what a pretty slut holy shit " he chuckles, clearly amused as he bites his lip, his rough hand playing with his dick

" chat i look so pretty right? " reader asks, fixing her hair as chat spams yes, " you damn sure are " he mumbles, as he grabs the base of his cock, using his saliva for lube

" ah fuck, fucking.. so fucking pretty " he breathes out, his body shuddering slightly as he jerks himself off, his eyes never leaving her

" fuck.. fuck.. " schlatt throws his head back as he leans back on his chair, fastening his pace, " stupid fucking whore.. "

he moans out, lifting his shirt up, as he continues to palm himself at the sight of her, he's never gonna buy her those stupid costumes again

or maybe he'll rain her with more gifts, then maybe a flight to texas so she can show everything off to him... maybe

his lashes flutter, fastening his already fast pace as he continues to moan, " stupid fucking slut, .. shit... pretty- pretty whore " he stammers

he can feel his precum leaking as reader talks with her chat, innocent yet suggestive, that stupid maid dress, if schlatt can immediately fly to london, he fucking would, he'd immediately bend her over, not caring if she was streaming or not and fuck her like some animal

" ah fuck! " he moans loudly, his semen, spurting on his keyboard making a fucking mess, " shit... " he groans out

maybe instead of ordering her a new costume, maybe he'll fly her out instead

[pequins]

WHICH ONE OF YOU FREAKS TOLD SCHLATT HE LOOKED HOT IN THE FIGHT ME VIDEO …

[klintoris]

Just found this in my camera roll. Thought i should share with the class.