#schlatt. step on me

[klintoris]

Keep going im close….

[sinnlos-star]

@dixidin

i just know she runs that cabinet like the fucking navy

[ohbabydollie]

flashing schlatt mid argument.

omg that’s crazy

you and schlatt had been bickering for a few minutes now, over something probably stupid, but with all the stress you two had been dealing with lately, it just seemed to be the breaking point.

you had started to feel bad about arguing in the first place, now feeling dumb about doing so, that’s when you decided to bring the argument to a halt.

you had suddenly thought of something so fool proof, it had to work.

you just had to move quick with it, taking a quick second to step back as schlatt is scolding you, feeling a small grin tug at your lips.

“what the fuck are ya so smiley for?” he asks angrily

you don’t respond, instead quickly lifting your shirt up, giving him a few moments to stand there frozen as he takes in what happened before making a run for the opened door.

“wait!” he calls out running after you, “I’ll stop arguin’ jus’ give me another view”

who tf wrote that???

[gibsongirled]

HOME !!

description: you decided to visit schlatt in new york.

a/n: still kinda on hiatus, but i didn't want to leave yall hanging 😔 another fic's coming some time in december, trust 🙏

You hated rain in New York.

But you couldn’t complain too much when you were only visiting for a week. The rain had started when you landed. Intense splashes against the airport windows made you frown as the sky above darkened and thunder crackled in the distance, causing you to let out a sigh as you hailed for a taxi. You concluded after multiple visits to the city that the weather in New York was bipolar to say the least. Time Square was cool and the pizza was cool too. You had hoped to say the weather was cool like the rest of the things you listed off, but it was not.

Your shoes and jacket were wet by the time you clobbered up the stairs in his apartment building, your hair had managed to survive, but it was still damp in some places. One hand pulled your suitcase up on the stairs as you shook your umbrella, rain droplets coating the steps. Once in a while, you’d stick by the wall like a fly, letting people pass you by. Apartments in New York were the size of a shoebox and you shuddered to think about the rent - no way someone could afford to live here. People in the Big Apple either had family money or they sold crack on the streets, that’s what you remembered someone talking about it on some social media platform. You couldn’t keep up with the amount of sites that had popped up in the recent years. You only ever managed to circle through four apps and even then they were too much. (You logged out of Twitter each time you tweeted because what the fuck was that damn app on?)

You knocked on the door, letting your hand fall back down to your side as you waited a few seconds. Usually, your spur of the moment, impulsive ideas tend to backfire on you - like when you decided to surprise your family for Thanksgiving, only to find out that everyone was out of town and your key didn’t work - you had forgotten that the front door was replaced after your brother accidentally kicked it in. Your mother still tells that story to anyone who was willing to listen, and you just kept sliding down in your seat in a fit of embarrassment, hoping that God would make you disappear. You could hear some cursing and loud clattering on the other side of the door, causing you to a face as you questioned what was going on in there.

The doorknob rattled and the door swung open, making Schlatt blink in confusion as he looked at you like you’ve grown multiple heads in the span of a five hour flight from LA to New York. He said your name and you nodded, he blinked and said it again - to which you nodded again. His confusion was justified as you were supposed to be in LA and not in New York. And definitely not in front of his apartment looking like a soaked cat.

“So, you gonna let me in?” You started, running a hand through your damp hair. “The rain outside is terrible, I don’t even know how you-” Your almost rant was cut off by Schlatt closing the door in your face. Uhm okay then, wow. You were going to be offended, but he opened the door once again, having the realization that you standing in front of his apartment wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He should probably get more sleep.

“Sorry,” Schlatt sheepishly mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand, looking tired. Jambo and Soup meowed loudly behind him, making you laugh while he grumbled. “You’re supposed to be in LA,” he said once he ushered you into the apartment, dragging your suitcase along the floor, making the cats jump around as they sniffed and pawed at the suitcase, trying to figure out what it was.

“I finished the thing early,” you closed the door with a small click, “thought I’d surprise you.”

Schlatt let out a laugh, “Yeah, you definitely surprised me. Coulda sworn I was hallucinatin’ for a sec there.”

“I missed you,” you told him as the two of you stood together in the living room, the city outside now dark with lights turning on.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, mumbling. “I missed you too.”

[foundbybullet]

not to butt in with my twitter experiences but it was infamously known that if you supported what was previously the sleepybois, schlatt, connor, niki, eret, fundy, and definitely a few others that im forgetting dteam/dreams stans would harass you so bad that it was highly advised within the subtwt that you shouldnt have a ccat public

it got so bad at one point that it was basically no one who didnt like dteam wasnt allowed to interact

one time i made a tweet defending eret for their storyline and poking fun at gnf and sapnap (?) during a stream for making fun of eret and all of their stans came in calling me names and basically stupid for not getting their favs harsh jokes about the unserious lore

dream you literally made a thread comparing your autistic co-worker to a dog and sent an essay to tommyinnit's mother because he made a satire video that made fun of you for 5 seconds

[schlattslambo]

for goodness sake | schlatt 18+

a/n: inspired and dedicated to @blaineandergel . thank you my friend

is this edited? no. was this written while im at work? yes. please enjoy. i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible. if theres anything i can do to improve on that front, please let me know! ❤️

————-

you weren’t sure when the whimsy of christmas came back, but as you stepped back from putting the final ornament on the tree, it was swirling around in the air alongside cinnamon and apple.

the tree was fluffy and looked soft from a distance. with the twinkling lights and generic ornaments, it looked even better. soft christmas music played on a record player on the mantle, where your boyfriend was fastening stockings.

christmas wasn’t much of a celebration once you grew up and moved out. it was more of an excuse to eat ham and stromboli and sneak cookie dough as your mother baked cookies whenever you visited their house. this year was different.

this year, you were spending your first christmas together with your boyfriend, a youtuber named schlatt. you’d met him through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly. at first, your relationship was secret. fans had noticed a brightness in schlatt’s eyes that wasn’t there before and began questioning it.

eventually, fans assumed that he was seeing someone. with that assumption, a bit of hate was spewed whenever someone brought up the fact. you let the hate fall off your shoulders, mainly because nobody would see this side of schlatt. the side that was wearing matching christmas pajamas and humming along to frank sinatra.

a soft, loving smile tugs at the corner of your lips as jambo waltzes in, red and green collar jingling. schlatt stands back and admires his handiwork of the mantle as you snake your arms around his waist. he smiles down at you, heart warm.

“hey there baby.” he says, turning around and placing a kiss on your forehead.

“you did a really good job with the fireplace.” you say softly, nuzzling your face against his chest.

“thank you,” schlatt replies with a smile. “i’m gonna light a fire, what do you think?”

you smile. “baby, it’s not cold enough for that.”

“and?” schlatt asks. “it’s romantic.”

you roll your eyes but allow schlatt to putz outside and grab some wood from the pile on the porch. this man absolutely loves that fireplace and would have a fire lit all the time if he could.

you pour yourself a glass of wine and watch as schlatt lights the fire. it crackles to life and he smiles proudly. he’ll never say it, but this kind of thing is what keeps him going. the domestic side of your relationship. him working hard and you just sitting there looking cute. in this case, you curled up on the couch with your wine and him cracking open a beer.

as schlatt sits down next to you, you snuggle into him instantly. his arm goes around you just as it always does and the two of you admire the decorations. the twinkling of the lights on the tree, the four stockings hung on the mantle (two for the cats, of course), and the fire all bring a warm feeling in your chest.

you both sit quietly, watching as jambo lays down in front of the fire place, squirming onto his back so he warms his belly. the scene is out of a christmas card and you couldn’t be happier.

————-

a little while later, the wine has made your cheeks flush and schlatt has switched to sipping on some whiskey. you’ve gotten through half of the bottle of white wine and you’re feeling frisky. it doesn’t matter that frank is still playing on the record player; you want schlatt and you want him now.

your hand goes to schlatt’s thigh as he scrolls on his phone, probably responding to an email. he barely notices until you start moving your hand up closer to his crotch.

“what’re you doin’?” he asks, smiling at you.

“baby,” you draw out.

schlatt peeks over at you and notices your flushed cheeks. he smiles, taking a swig of his drink before placing the glass down.

“what’s up?” schlatt asks, turning to face you. “what do you need?”

you jut your bottom lip out and peek up at him. “you.” you whisper.

your hand goes to his crotch and you begin to feel him through his pants. his cock grows hard and he allows you to touch him for a bit before gripping your wrist. if he doesn’t stop you, he’ll end up cumming in his pants like a teenager. he’s not gonna let that happen again.

“behave.” he grits.

“why?” you pout. “i need you.”

schlatt looks at you, pupils blown and cheeks flushed. he looks into your eyes, knowing that if he doesn’t stand his ground, you’re going to be a brat again. ignoring the fact that you were told to behave, you sit in schlatt’s lap.

“baby,” he sighs, breath catching in his throat as you bite at his neck, his weak spot. “we just finished decorating.”

you don’t respond verbally, only grinding your hips down. you feel schlatt’s cock harden even further under you, and you’re sure it’s pressing against his zipper. he grips your hair, making you arch your back. he bites down on your now exposed neck, eliciting a mewl from you.

“didn’t i tell you to behave?” he growls. “do you really wanna be a brat after we just decorated?”

you smile and nod. schlatt can’t help but smile himself. that’s one of the things he loves most about you (trust me, the list is long, but this is towards the top). he loves that you push his buttons and bite back.

“oh, baby,” he muses, licking along your pulse point. “you better be good.”

“make me.”

the two words leave your lips easily before you yelp as your hauled across schlatt’s lap, ass in the air.

“for goodness sake, doll.” he says as he grips your ass harshly. “i’m gonna have to do something about that.”

you lurch forward as his hand comes down onto your ass harshly, a soft moan leaving your lips. you lay there with a smile before schlatt slowly pulls your pants down, exposing your plush ass.

“can’t have any barriers.” he mumbles before beginning his punishment.

each ass cheek is slapped at least 10 times. he wants you squirming and near tears. his cock is pressed up against your stomach as you take the spankings. he doesnt stop until your ass is red and stinging. you whine and look back at him.

“n-no more.” you sob.

“are you gonna be good?” schlatt asks, yanking your hair and pulling you further back. “you gonna be good?”

you nod the best you can. “yes daddy.” you whimper.

“good,” schlatt says, gripping your stinging ass firmly. “because next time i’m going to fuck you in front of the fire place but you won’t be cumming.”

you whine at the threat, knowing full well that you’re going to be pushing his buttons again later that night and getting fucked into the floor for his pleasure only. you giggle as ‘santa claus is coming to town’ plays on the record player. the lyrics make you smile as you snuggle in schlatt’s lap.

you’re gonna be bad, for goodness sake.

[squinch-depraved]

I LOVE YOUR VIRGINITY AU 😭😭😭😭 its actually so GOOD i cant wait to see what schlatt has to say when he talks to us (please tell me ur making a part 6😭🙏🙏🙏)

this series is so much fun i have so many ideas and apparently y'all do too so keep em comin i love you all

CW: a lil dubcon-y, choking, v rough

ted makes it out and down the street just in time to see schlatt yank open the door to the main building and let it slam behind him

he winces at the thought of what you're in for now that he's gone, remembering the hickey on your neck only when he crosses the street

schlatt, in the meantime, is barging into your apartment, mumbling a half-hearted apology to your roommate as they nervously grab their stuff and leave you two alone

he heads straight down the hallway to your room and just hovers in the entryway, tossing his bags down by the door like ted did

"charlie?" he starts

"i can explain-"

you try to reason with him but he just strides over to the bed in two large steps and climbs so he's leaning over you, staring down at you with a dark, vacant expression

"of course you're going to explain. you're gonna tell me all about it while i..." his voice trails off as he notices the bruise on the side of your throat

"what the fuck is this?"

he sounds different, like it caught him off guard

"that's not... that's not charlie. his hickeys are older. that looks like it just fucking happened. are you kidding me?"

"schlatt, i told you we aren't exclusive."

"i'm not mad you fucked someone else!!" he exclaims, almost in disbelief

"i'm mad you fucked one of my best friends."

you make a face and he narrows his eyes for a second

"...who gave you that, on your neck?"

unable to meet his gaze, you turn away and try to find the right words

"why are you acting so strange? do i know him?"

"schlatt..."

"what?"

he sets his jaw and gently takes one of your wrists in each of his hands, bringing them to either side of your head and pinning you down

"s-schlatt, listen, i don't want it to cause problems between you two," you stammer

his grip tightens as he realizes the only other person it could be

scanning your face to see if your remorse is genuine, he swallows hard and grins a hollow, hopeless smile

"you fucked ted, didn't you?"

his words paralyze you; the only movement in the room is the rapid rising and falling of your chest

"i'm so sorry," you begin once you can finally talk again

a deep sigh escapes him, and he shakes his head slightly as he looks away

"you fucking whore."

helpless to stop the strangled moan that falls from your lips, you shift uncomfortably on the bed

schlatt moves from his position on your side, leering down at you, to one on top of you, holding you down even more forcefully now

"i should've known. i shouldn't've told them how good you were if i wanted to keep you all to myself. fuck," he mutters, more to himself than anything

"i'm not some toy for you to-"

"shut the fuck up!! right now, you absolutely are a toy. can't believe you're that much of a fucking slut."

"schlatt!!"

"i said shut up!" he snarls

"was he better than me? i know charlie wasn't; there's no shot he fucks good."

he switches to holding both of your wrists in one hand above your head and grips your face with the other, squishing your cheeks and eliciting a small moan from you

"i'm only gonna ask you one more time. was he better than me?"

his voice is cold, and it send chills down your spine

"he was- it was different!! it was just different, schlatt, please, you know i don't like to compare," you babble in an attempt to satiate him

but it's not enough

he lets out a low chuckle and, in a flash, his hand is wrapped around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter every second

"you're dumber than i thought," he muses, tilting his head as he enjoys the way your eyes roll back into your head, fluttering open and closed rapidly

a frantic, garbled grunt from you convinces him to release you, and he shakes out his hand after he does

he pulls off the clothes you barely managed to put on in time after ted left and wastes no time shoving two fingers into you

when you let out a wail and arch your back, he just shoves you back down by your hips and begins pumping them in and out at a merciless pace (this is for his pleasure, not yours, remember?)

"fuck!!! please, schlatt, stop," you beg

but he doesn't listen

just flicks his eyes up to your face and then shoves his head between your thighs

he's cruel with his tongue, swirling and circling and flicking at your clit endlessly

no amount of screaming his name changes his behavior, he just keeps eating you

occasionally he pulls away to look at the mess he's made of your cunt, sloppy and covered in both your juices and his saliva

he always returns to his feasting after delivering a harsh smack to your pussy

it goes on for almost an hour; your bedsheets are completely ruined by the time he pulls away, chest heaving, and wipes his mouth

you can't even speak, your throat is sore from pleading with him to stop. you gave up after the third orgasm

schlatt doesn't even say anything, just pulls his shirt over his head (giving you flashbacks to ted) and tears his pants and boxers off

you watch wearily as he hikes your legs over his shoulders and shoves himself into you

it would've hurt if you weren't absolutely soaked

immediately, he establishes a brutal pace, and you swear you can feel him brushing your cervix with every thrust

it's slightly painful, but you swear nothing has ever felt so good

he's got you bent nearly in half, watching your expressions as you sob silently from the bliss he's giving you

"bet he didn't feel this good."

he smirks almost imperceptibly when you shake your head vigorously, finally admitting what he wanted to hear

"yeah? bet he couldn't fuck you like i do. bet he wasn't able to reach this- fuck- deep inside you, huh?"

a raspy squeal escapes you, voice breaking from desperation

"got you so fucked out you can't even talk. just layin' there cryin'. do you know how pathetic you are? made your way around the whole friend group. are you fuckin' happy with yourself? you satisfied yet?"

he punctuates each question with a slam deeper into you than the last, gritting his teeth and hanging his head once he finishes speaking

"i'm gonna fucking cum in you. and you're gonna take it. do you understand?" he growls

nodding frantically, your walls clench around him, and he groans and somehow quickens his pace, jackhammering into you so hard and fast that you can't help but scream his name over and over, despite how badly your throat hurts

he's very vocal towards the end, moaning and grunting desperately as he pumps his hips forward a few final times before completely sinking into you as he releases

after a bit, he pulls out and lets your legs drop, noticing how shaky they are and patting one knee softly

"c'mon. i'll help you to the bathroom. but after that we need to actually have a conversation; i'm sorry i lost it like that."

dazed, you nod, and he helps you take a shower

as the hot water streams down the both of you, schlatt holding you up while he washes you off, he presses a kiss to the top of your head

"i don't... i don't want you to think i didn't enjoy sleeping with charlie and ted," you mumble dreamily

he falters for a second but continues cleaning you off

"i like you a lot, schlatt, but i'm into the two of them as well. i want you to be okay with that."

he lets out a deep exhale as he turns off the water, then steps out of the shower and helps you dry off

"i'd have to talk to them. we'll see, i dunno. can we just... spend the rest of the day together and talk about this tomorrow?"

a soft smile appears on your face and you nod, pulling him down to kiss you

"c'mon, help me get to bed. i can barely stand up."

[rencantstopfalling]

can you do roommates who are secretly hooking up (you have other roommates too) and schlatt decides to join you in the shower?

Sorry this took me a few days, been feeling a bit sick but I wanted to pump this out

Afab!reader

CW: Smut MDNI, FWB

New York City rent was atrocious. The only way you could keep going to school was by getting roommates. Good thing one of your friends had a spare room in her 4 bedroom apartment. You eventually became really good friends with all your other roommates. Especially one, Schlatt. It started off as stolen glances, then flirting, and after a drunk night alone, friends with benefits. It was really nice, you would hang out during breaks between classes, getting lunch or watching movies, but then at night Schlatt would sneak into your room and fuck you all night.

You guys decided to keep your little situationship private, because your other roommates liked to talk, and would definitely blow your whole arrangement out of proportions.

You and schlatt would only ever have sex when your roommates were gone, usually at classes or work. So it was definitely a surprise when you felt a pair of hands grip your waist in the shower. You turned to see a naked schaltt curling into your back, his hard on squished between is belly and your lower back.

"What are you doing? People are here!" You whisper yell

"Need you so bad" He then begins to hump your back. He grabs hold of his cock and starts to rub it on your slit. You let out a little moan, melting into the tile in front of you.

Without much warning, he slams into you, groaning at how smooth it went it. You gasped, schlatt took his left and covered your mouth while holding onto your waist with his right. He started to set a steady, hard pace, and if it weren't for the hand around your mouth, your moans would be filling up the apartment.

"Sshhh, keep quiet baby, let me take care of this pussy." He whispered in your ears, nibbling it afterwards. It was so hot, doing it, knowing your roommates could probably hear. His hand left your waist and started to rub your slit. You convulsing, knowing you were gonna cum soon. Schlatts thrusts became more sporadic, he then let go of you entirely, pulling out his cock, jerking it, and cumming on your wet back. He kissed you on the forehead and stepped out the shower, leaning you like jelly, and a whimpering mess.

"But Jay, I didn't cum." You said between whines

"Oh but baby, people are home." He teased back, leaving you to finish your shower all hot and bothered

[steadiedcoffeekitten]

The expression on schlatts face makes me think that if he were a short king. He'd be so fuckin mad about it. He would be LIVID.

This man loves being a powerful, tall, intimidating, absolutely unapproachable being y'all cannot convince me otherwise.

spooky monsters!

[phxntomsdusk]

chuckle sandwich!!! It can be romantic or platonic I don’t mind but just some fun with Chuckle Sandwich. Maybe ganging up on a guest for the show in a stupid bit or smth?

Playground insults - Chuckle Sandwich x GN!Reader

summary: just you throwing little kid insults at the boys

warnings: swearing, jschlatt threatening to kill you- (joke of course)

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog , @pheliiaa , @idontreallyexistyet , @rqvii , @haunted-headset , @average-vibe , @ivvees-blog , @vibestillaxxx (ask to be added!)

word count: 225

Being on the podcast always ended with chaos, especially today. You had been in a particular mood, dishing random and stupid insults at everyone whenever you got the chance.

“And then he-“ You quickly cut off Schlatt as he was talking, a small smile on your lips. “Who?” He looked at you with a confused expression, about to answer before you spoke again. “Asked.”

Charlie let out an annoyed sigh, sounding like a tired dad as he shook his head and placed it on the table. Ted held back a laugh. And Schlatt looked like he was about to kill you.

“Say that shit again, I’ll put a bullet through your head.” He held up a finger gun, pretending to shoot you. You knew he was only joking (or at least you hoped), but you still put up a scared act.

“Oh, no! Don’t kill me!” You covered your face, before peering through your fingers and laughed to yourself. “Maybe death would be nice.. wouldn’t have to see that thing you call a beard.”

Ted and Charlie looked at you as if you were insane, while Jschlatt got up with an offended expression, stepping off camera and shouted very loudly. “What the fuck?! Who invited them?!”

Ted looked over at him with a raised brow, before clicking his tongue. “You did, Schlatt. You invited them.”

[cj-schlatt]

ima need some cutesy "can I kiss you?" 🙏🙏

Sorry this took me so long! Hope you like it! <3

Content: Fluff! First kiss, gn!cc!reader

(Prompt list here)

A slight breeze ruffles your clothes, but you’re comfortable as you walk along the beach, listening to the soft crashing of the waves beside you. 

It’s a perfect night—the perfect end to a perfect day. It all started with you appearing on Chuckle Sandwich, finally getting to meet Schlatt and Ted in person for the first time.

“So, this is your first Vidcon?” Ted had asked after introducing you on the podcast.

“Yep!” you had confirmed with a grin. “First Vidcon, first time on a podcast—a lotta firsts this week.”

You know Vidcon tomorrow is going to be chaotic, but you’re looking forward to it. Still, you’re glad you arrived a day early to be on the podcast and get yourself acclimated to the unfamiliar area.

After you finished recording, Schlatt had invited you to dinner. For all the complaining he does about Los Angeles, he’s visited enough times now to know the best places to eat.

Now, Schlatt walks alongside you on the beach. He’s quiet and contemplative, so different from the loud personality that you witnessed while filming earlier in the day.

Deciding you want something small to remember this day by, you begin scanning the sand around you for seashells. You stoop down when you find a good one and pick it up.

Now a few paces ahead of you, Schlatt stops and turns around once he realizes you’re no longer next to him. “What’re you doing?” he asks.

“Just looking for seashells,” you say, holding up the scallop shell you’ve found.

He takes a couple of steps closer to you. You smile at him, noticing the way the moonlight reflects in his eyes. You wonder if he sees the same thing in yours.

“Can I kiss you?” he asks softly after a moment.

You freeze, eyes widening, breath caught in your throat.

Noticing your reaction, Schlatt backtracks, “I’m sorry, I—”

“No!” You’re quick to cut him off as you regain your composure. “Sorry, it’s just…” You look down, suddenly very interested in the footprints in the sand around you. “I’ve never been kissed before.”

“Well, we can add it to your list of firsts for the week,” he murmurs.

You take a breath before meeting his eyes, finding nothing but softness and understanding there.

“I’d like that,” you breathe.

Schlatt closes the small distance between you, gently cupping your face in his large, warm hands. He leans in, and your eyes flutter shut as his lips meet yours. The kiss is soft, tender, unhurried. You would be perfectly content to stay in this moment forever, you think.

Eventually, he pulls back, stroking your cheek with his thumb. “How was that?” he asks.

“Can we do that again?” you ask in place of answering.

He laughs, a breathy thing that makes your heart flutter. “Yeah, we can,” he says, pulling you towards him once more.

You drop the seashell and wrap your arms around his neck. You don’t think you’ll need a souvenir to remember this night, after all.

[chuckle-clips]

Ted: We’re doing Chuckle Week. What is Chuckle Week, Schlatt? You may— They— I think they’re asking. Why don’t you give them an explanation of what Chuckle Week is. 

Schlatt: So Chuckle Week is this great big plan of fun and sex. 

[Ted and Charlie chuckle disappointedly]

Schlatt: Basically—

Ted: Fun, and sex. 

Charlie: [Mumbles] What was the last one that you kinda threw on top?

Schlatt: Basically, I’m horny. 

Ted: Okay. I shouldn’t have passed this off to you. 

Charlie: Schlatt, Schlatt, I’m 99 percent sure you’re talking about Fuckle Week, which we’re doing afterwards. 

Schlatt: Oh, fuck— Oh, that’s Fuckle Week. 

Charlie: We are not talking about Fuckle Week. 

Schlatt: We’re not talking about Fuckle Week, we’re talking about Chuckle Week right now?

Charlie: We keep Fuckle Week off all records, okay?

Ted: Schlatt, Fuckle Week—

Schlatt: Chuckle Week—

Ted: Is our wind-down week after Chuckle Week, cmon man. 

Schlatt: Oh, I get it, I get it. 

Ted: Pull it together.  

Schlatt: I won’t make that mistake again, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. 

Charlie: Do not even get me started on Chuckle Week. 

Schlatt: I won’t make that mistake again. 

Ted: So, Chuckle Week is basically one week where Charlie and Schlatt make their way over to smoggy Los Angeles— 

Charlie: And have a lot of sex. 

Ted: They step off the pl— Shut up, Charlie. 

Charlie: Oh, are we talking about— are we talking about—

Ted: I’m gonna kill you. 

[schluttandco]

𝖶𝗁𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖥𝖾𝗋𝗋𝖺𝗋𝗂˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Highschool!Schlatt x Reader ༉‧₊˚. PREVIEW

Hey! I wrote this twenty chapter fic like 6 months ago and now I'm reworking it⋆.ೃ࿔*:･I am like totally new to Tumblr and this concept genuinely keeps me up at night.

Reader and Schlatt are both eighteen, eventual smut, angst always.

The schools star baseball player and virgin Schlatt can't help but befriend the grunge girl with no friends who has a bit of a reputation.

Schlatt was leant back in his gaming chair, fingers lazily moving over the controller of his Playstation as he focused on the game of Call of Duty in front of him. A great use of his allowance. The noise of something banging against his window drew him out of his technology driven haze, pausing the game to throw open his curtains. His eyes widened slightly at the sight of you, clinging to the trellis that ran the length of his house, a grin painted on your face as you motion for him to open the window.

"Hey there..." You say, with an air of faux casualness. "You come here often?" Schlatt shakes his head at the sight, yout chipped black nails clinging to the wood like an insane person, giving him a stupid grin that made the skin of his palms sweat.

"Ha ha, very funny doll..." He says, with a small huff of laughter. "You're going to break a bone or somethin'." Your face peels into a smirk at that, rolling your eyes at him.

"Wanna go get drunk?" You ask, gesturing to the vodka bottle poking out of the top of your denim shorts. He lets out a small groan, which turns into a nod.

"When don't I wanna get drunk?"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After scaling the trellis with practised ease, the two of you fall into step with each other. The evening air is cold as you make your way to the small wooden area at the edge of Schlatt's neighbourhood. You settle in the slightly dingy den, which you built in freshman year. It's not much: just a few big sticks tied together with rope, but it was secluded and a good place to get drunk away from the eyes of parents or kids from the neighbourhood.

"You stole the vodka, didn't you?" Schlatt asks, slightly amused as you sit cross legged opposite each other.

"Obviously." You reply with a small smirk, twisting off the cap, taking a swig and then passing him the bottle. "How'd it go after the game?" Schlatt considers the question, taking a sip from the bottle with a small wince.

"Same as every other game, I guess..." He shrugs, passing the bottle back to you.

"Get with Kelsey?" You say, wiggling your eyebrows, taking another sip and sticking out your tongue in disgust. "I overheard her talking about you." He rolls his eyes at that, shaking his head as he lets his back rest against the sticks of the den.

"Nah... she was all over me after the game but I..." He trails off, unable to meet your gaze properly, his fingers playing with the dirt below him. "I ditched her. I guess."

"Still a virgin then?" You grin, passing him the bottle as you place your satchel bag onto the ground in front of you, pulling out a tube containing a joint, taking a moment to fish out the lighter from the bottom.

"Says the one that keeps sleeping with half the seniors in the school." Schlatt bites back, his eyes studying your fingers as they pop open the tube, pulling out the joint and placing it in between your lips. He's mesmerised  by the sight, able to watch over the top of the vodka bottle as the alcohol scorches the back of his throat.

"You calling me a slut, Johnathan Schlatt?" You say with mock offence, lighting the end of the joint. You take a hit, then you pass it to him, watching as he places the vodka bottle haphazardly in between your legs.

"Well..." He hums, taking the joint from in between your fingers. "I'm not wrong, am I?"

"So you are pissed at me for sleeping with Ben then." You say, watching him closely as he exhales a small cloud of smoke.

"I don't care what you do with who doll." Liar.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Chapter One comes tomorrow! Idec if nobody likes this fic, I simply just need to pour out my inner feelings- lmao.

[ohbabydollie]

prank and schlatt can be a dangerous combination.

yeah, he would double it

let’s say the both of you were just friends at the time of the ted prank, so he knows what he has to do.

step one: plant a seed into your head

“you’re so tiny” schlatt says laughing causing you to flick him

“shut up schlatt” you say angrily

“how tall are ya? 3’7?” he asks bursting out laughing “you couldn’t even take an incha dick if ya wanted”

step two: make you really want it

“could too!” you say upset while schlatt just keeps on laughing

“you couldn’t even take an inch of my dick if you tried” he says holding his stomach from laughing, “probably would cry tryin’ to take it all and beg me to pull out”

step three: make you take the bait

“you really think i can’t? i’ll show you that i can asshole!” you say dragging him to the room

step four: play out the plan

“jus breathe, jus breathe” he mutters holding your hips, slowly pressing his cock into you as you let out a moan

“i-i can take it” you say digging your nails into his shoulders

“no ya can’t, jus admit it, ‘ts okay” he says teasingly. you shake your head no and take a deep breath in before forcing his cock all the way into you, letting out a loud moan. you relax, feeling his cock pulsing inside you while you rest.

“told ya, i could take it all” you say now leaning onto him, breathing heavily

“now let’s see how long you can last” he says before starting to thrust in and out of you as you let out a gasp

[obsessivestar]

Poly!ted!schlatt!reader smut request

Schlatt and Ted get into an 'argument', and schlatt starts acting like a brat towards Ted for the rest of the day.

Reader has an idea on how to get the boys to make up. So she says this in front of both of them.

"Alright, well, I'm super horny so, ted can you help me out?"

Ted gets flustered and agrees, and Schlatts brat demeanor turns into horny hunger.

He comes into the bedroom after he heard reader have her first orgasm and asks if he can join too.

Also, oral fixation Schlatt is much appreciated.

Competition:

Poly!Ted Nivison/JSchlatt+Reader Kinktober Request!

{{-I tweaked it a little but I hope you still like it and also I put way too much effort into this but y/w LMAO-}}

Graphic NSFW under the cut:

After a rather competitive game, Ted and Schlatt would not stop bickering at each other. Ted had gotten the upper hand in the game and had smoked us both. I was over it, Schlatt clearly wasn't.

"I fuckin' had ya, dude!" Schlatt spits out, being the loudest one in the room, as usual.

"Well, see, you actually didn't.." Ted exaggerates his tone, playfully pointing at Schlatt.

"Oh fuck you man, that hitbox shit was bullshit."

"Game says it wasn't, dude."

"The shield wasn't even fuckin' there!"

"I clicked the button, it was there."

"That's bullshit, absolute fuckin' bullshit."

"Didn't feel bullshit."

"It fucking was!"

"Didn't feel it."

As I turn the console off, I roll my eyes and lean back against the sofa. These two are always going at it. Always. Usually it's in a friendly way, but I could see from here how tense Schlatt was. Even with how confident Ted appeared, I could tell he needed a break too. They both needed to blow off some steam...

"...Well, that match made me horny." I gently slap my hands down on my lap and stand up, watching as Ted and Schlatt's argument come to a complete halt, both of them giving me a mixture of shock and disbelief. I'm not usually that blunt about it, but I knew it would shut them up. "Ted? You wanna give me some attention?.." I make my tone softer, girlishly so, batting my eyelashes at him and everything. I see their expressions shift in different ways. Ted's eyes flicker with excitement, a nervous chuckle leaving him, like he wasn't sure I was serous. Schlatt, on the other hand, looked silently furious, his eyes darkening in my direction. He was jealous, and hungry...Good. I can tell that even Ted knows what I'm planning, looking at Schlatt with new found confidence.

"Oh yeah...that's a much better way to celebrate my earned victory.." Ted speaks to me, but is staring daggers into Schlatt as he speaks, his words burning a hole into Schlatt. I watch as Schlatt narrows his eyes at Ted, watching him closely, very close, as Ted steps away from him and joins me down the hall.

The second we enter Ted's room, he's all over me. He pins me against the nearest wall by my hips, pressing against me as he traps my lips in a hungry, possessive kiss. He let's out a deep chuckle against my lips, pulling back briefly to start guiding me to his bed, working at our clothes as we step back.

"You think that'll be enough?.." Ted asks in between kisses, slipping his shirt over his head before latching onto my exposed neck, wrapping his arms around me to get my bra off. "Been trying to get him to join us for a while..."

"Oh yeah, he was seething.." I purr, leaning my head back with a dopey smile on my face. "Get me to be loud, and he'll come running.."

"I've got a few ideas.." Ted snickers against my skin, tossing my bra aside before shoving me onto his bed, crawling over me the second my bed hit his mattress. He catches my lips in another hungry kiss, a low moan leaving him. He begins to plant little kisses along the side of my face, trailing them down my jaw, slowly moving further down. "Tasting you always gets you to cry for me.." Ted purrs, beginning to move more down my body.

"No, let him..." I whisper out, tilting my head down to look at Ted. "I...I want him to do it.." I was expecting Ted to relent, giving him a sort of nervous smile, but he seemed thrilled by the idea, crawling back up to be at my eye level.

"Really? Schlatt?" Ted asks with a low chuckle, shaking his head in disbelief. "Ooh, you naughty girl. He'll use his mouth...and I'll use yours.."

Ted, Schlatt and I had an...interesting arrangement to say the least. I had started a relationship with Ted a couple months ago, but I knew for a fact that Schlatt also had feelings for me, Ted and I both knew. What started as a joke about dating them at the same time turned into a...strange reality. Now, I've slept with Ted many, many times and I've had my fun with Schlatt, but getting them to bed together....I've wanted it for weeks, I've dreamed about it.

Problem is, Ted knew Schlatt wouldn't agree to it if we simply...propositioned it. No, Schlatt was a man of passion, it needed to be his idea.

By now, Ted had gotten all of our clothes off, his thick fingers pumping in and out of me, latched onto my throat like a hungry lion, desperate to be sated. I was an absolute moaning mess, feeling his fingers curl up into my sweet spot with every thrust of them. It felt amazing, but it was also just making me even more aroused, my thoughts filled with the idea of what Schlatt must be doing, hearing me cry out in pleasure.

"I-I'm so horny, Teddy.." I whimper out loudly, keeping my knees bent up to allow easy access.

"There ya go, baby. Let em' hear you.." Ted whispers into my ear, increasing the pace of his fingers to urge my first release. I didn't think I could cum from someone's fingers, but the mix of Ted's dirty words and the thought of what was coming next made everything come undone. I felt my walls tighten around Ted's fingers and cum around them, letting my voice sing out as loudly as my body would allow. I needed Schlatt to hear us. I needed him to join us.

Ted slowly slips his fingers out of my core, pulling back from my neck. Since he won't be able to taste me later, he laps up my essence along his fingers, keeping our eyes connected as he licks everything off his fingers, giving me a dark chuckle afterwards.

"Think that worked?.." Ted asked in a quiet voice, tilting his head over at the door.

"Give it a second.." I whisper back with a confident smile, my eyes wandering around the room as I try to listen for him. Ted and I have never been that loud when he's here, it must've had an affect on him. When I hear some shuffling out in the hall and a defeated groan, I knew we had him. I knew it.

I hear some stomps head this way and eventually, some heavy but quick knocks on Ted's door. "O-Open the door.." Schlatt stutters, standing right outside the door. I could hear him shuffling out there, I could hear the anxiousness in his voice. He was so flustered, so eager to get inside. I'm honestly surprised that he wasn't just barging through the door.

Ted pulls away from me, both of us holding back a laugh. Schlatt sounding desperate was new, we wanted to savor it a bit.

"Not your turn, buddy.." Ted teased with a confident smile, making me lean my head back more against the pillow, a slightly tired chuckle leaving me.

"T-To hell with our fucking turns, can I open the god damn door or not?..." Schlatt snapped from the other side again. I can tell just by how his voice sounds that he's right up against the door. The calm before the storm. I know that once he's in here, he's not leaving until we've all got it out of our system, and that's exactly what I was counting on. Ted turned to look at me calmly, raising his brows as if to say 'You still want this?'.

I give Ted another tired chuckle and a smile before nodding at the door.

"Come on in, big fella."

The second Schlatt barged through that door changed everything. He had torn his clothes off so fast I couldn't even remember what he was wearing before my thighs were resting against his bare shoulders, my legs somewhat wrapped around his head, lapping at my soaked core like a mad animal in heat. I'm moaning out from the overstimulation, the only thing keeping me quiet being Ted's cock occasionally stuffing itself down my throat, my head turned to take him in fully. My hand comes up to stroke the bits of his shaft not in my mouth, feeling Schlatt's mutton chops tickling my inner thighs, my sensitive bud pulsing with pleasure. I am completely and utterly at their mercy and I'm riding it for as long as my body can handle it. Ted pulls his cock out of my mouth to make me fully stroke all of it, laughing down at me with a devilish grin.

"How's he feel, baby? Is he eatin' you well? He working it right? Ooh, you're disgusting, baby..." Ted purrs down at me, watching me helplessly writhe beneath him as Schlatt's tongue continuously flicks against my sensitive bud, over and over until my body completely gives in. I focus on Ted's throbbing cock and dirty words as I have my second orgasm against Schlatt's mouth, grinding my hips against his tongue as I ride it out with needy whimpers and moans. As the satisfied pleasure spreads up my stomach and along my inner thighs, Schlatt wastes no time and stands up straight to ready the tip of his length against me, rubbing my soaked entrance with his pointed tip before pushing in with a satisfied groan. He is much thicked than Ted, I feel my lips sting a little with how much he has to open me to slip in. He's eager, but he's gentle until my body gets used to him.

Once my core does adjust, they both use my body as roughly and as freely as they want. Schlatt is slamming his hips roughly against mine with every thrust and Ted has shoved his length right back into my mouth. I'm a moaning, whimpering, gagging mess as they fuck me senselessly. It's like everything I dreamed it would be, knowing I am completely at their mercy just increased my lust and arousal for them both.

"You're such a naughty fuckin' girl.."

"You're fucking disgusting, can't believe you wanted us both.."

"This what you wanted, you whore? You take it, you fuckin' take it."

"Choke on it, baby. Choke. On it. There you go, yeeeaahh.."

Their dirty talk mixed with my desperate moans for released all came undone when I reached my third and final orgasm. They both continue to pump their cocks inside of me to push my release to its limits, smiling and laughing at me as my body shivers and jolts with pleasure. When my body finally starts to relax, I feel both Ted and Schlatt pull out of me to stroke themselves out, releasing their warm seed on my stomach and my face. The humiliation and warmth was...everything. My curiosity was sated. After they cleaned me off, we all laid on Ted's bed, panting heavily to catch our breaths. Schlatt was the first to get up after about a minute or so. Before he'd leave, I'd speak up first.

"W-We have to do that again..." I let out a tired chuckle, turning my head to look at Schlatt. Schlatt let's out a dismissive scoff at first, holding the doorknob in his fist. He shakes his head at me and opens the door, but speaks simply before he leaves.

"Maybe."

When he leaves the room, he closes the door behind him. Ted pulls me into his chest with a tired chuckle, kissing the top of my head.

"That was a yes."

"I know."

[anotherfcknschlattsimp]

Kinktober Day 1

the boys and mommy kinks

let's go

Schlatt

he sucked at card games, but he kept challenging you to game after game with higher and higher stakes. today? who gets to be in charge tonight.

you watch his cocky grin fly off his face as you laid down your last card and said that fateful word,

“Uno.” you smirk

“what the fuuuckkkk broooo” he whined

“stop being a big baby before mommy has to punish you~” you purr, testing the waters as you take his chin between your thumb and index knuckle. You hear him let out a frankly pathetic whimper before catching himself and clearing his throat.

“Yes ma’am.” he says firmly, clearly trying to bring back his tough guy persona and take control of the situation. You run your thumb over his lips, warm and slightly chapped, before leaning your face close to his

“That’s not my name and you know it…” you whisper seductively in his ear. He lets out a whimper of understanding

“I’m sorry,, mommy,,” he finally whines, letting himself go and letting you fully take over as you straddle his lap

Ted

“We can go on one condition,” you sigh, willing to go to another halloween party anyway but you love watching your man go puppymode. His eyes lit up

“Whatwhatwhat, anything, i’ll do the dishes, take out the trash, mop the kitchen, whatever you want my queen” he dramatically kisses up your arm like gomez to morticia, obvious in his attempts to butter you up

“Call me mommy” you smirk, still loving all the attention he’s giving every inch of your person until he pauses, still trying to process what you said

“wh-what?” he looks into your eyes, looking for any hint of a joke or bluff. not finding any, he straightens up a bit “that’s not much of a compromise if i win anyway” he mumbles, confused

“well do you wanna do the chores anyway?” you flutter your lashes at him

He leans down again, almost in a kiss. “Gladly, mommy” he kisses you deeply and moves to pick you up to take you to the bedroom

Charlie

“Hey babyyyy” you begin, waltzing into the kitchen where he was cutting some fruit

“Yessss lovey?” he questions, not looking up so he could safely cut his snack

“wanna try something new tonight?~” you purr, wrapping your arms around his middle and resting your head on his shoulder

“mmm, like what?” he mumbles, affection heavy in his voice

Charlie puts down the knife and turns in your arms, wrapping his around you and plopping his head on yours, planting oh so many kisses a second later

“What if you called me mommy, charchar? Be mommy’s good boy” you looked up at him when he paused; his face was bright red around his newfound thousand yard stare. You move to step back but he holds you still by your hips, looking down whare you two were touching

“Say it again.. mommy” he whispers, embarrassed that he was getting so turned on already

“Good boy? You wanna be mommy’s good boy tonight, baby?” he whines hearing it again, resting his forehead against yours

“Yeah.. thank you mommy” you feel him rutting slightly against where your leg is pressed to his crotch, needing some relief before he combusted right then and there in your kitchen “can we go to the bed in a moment” his voice wavered

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