#schlatt. step on me

[klintoris]

Keep going im close….

[sinnlos-star]

@dixidin

i just know she runs that cabinet like the fucking navy

[ohbabydollie]

flashing schlatt mid argument.

omg that’s crazy

you and schlatt had been bickering for a few minutes now, over something probably stupid, but with all the stress you two had been dealing with lately, it just seemed to be the breaking point.

you had started to feel bad about arguing in the first place, now feeling dumb about doing so, that’s when you decided to bring the argument to a halt.

you had suddenly thought of something so fool proof, it had to work.

you just had to move quick with it, taking a quick second to step back as schlatt is scolding you, feeling a small grin tug at your lips.

“what the fuck are ya so smiley for?” he asks angrily

you don’t respond, instead quickly lifting your shirt up, giving him a few moments to stand there frozen as he takes in what happened before making a run for the opened door.

“wait!” he calls out running after you, “I’ll stop arguin’ jus’ give me another view”

who tf wrote that???

[kkentobox]

I’m not sure if you take requests but would love to see your take on some schlatt smut. Maybe in the vibe of the way you’ve been writing him - just super sweet and loving and reassuring, love your writing 💜

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀i was made to love you! w/ jschlatt.

description: jonathan schlatt found a new reason to live when you stepped into his life, allow him to show you how much you truly mean to him.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀tags: afab!reader, smut, established relationship, praising, munch schlatt! munch schlatt! breeding, no mention of condom use (always use protection pookies), soft passionate sex with schlatt.

author’s note: my first schlatt smut post! remember my inbox are open for ideas/requests, always feel free to send me something ^_^ mwah! do not steal or plagiarize any work belonging to kkentobox !

⠀⠀the bedroom walls echoed with the moans falling from your lips, the sounds only the man between your legs could make you do. schlatt had been eating you out for what felt like hours now, his hunger for you never ending. with both arms tucked underneath your thighs to stop you from running, his tongue continued to lick every drop of the juices your cunt was spilling.

⠀⠀“c’mon baby, you can give me one more, right?” he mumbled against your lips.

⠀⠀having been the chasing your third orgasm, he refused to stop until he was satisfied. the entire time schlatt had been rutting his hips into the mattress trying to relieve the ache in his boxers, having shot his cum in them when you came around his tongue the first time.

⠀⠀“fuck jay, i can’t— please, please, please” growing louder by the second with your climax arising, your hands were tangled deep into his hair as you began to move your hips against his lips. your entire body felt like it was floating as you came, your eyes having rolled back into your skull with his name sounding like a mantra.

⠀⠀with heavy pants coming from the both of you, jay gently kissed your inner thighs. rubbing your hips, trying to bring you back down from the rush you were currently feeling. “you did so good for me, doll. deep breaths, you’re okay.”

⠀⠀when he felt your shaky hands grab his and squeeze his palms, he took that as a green light to come up. his soft smile easing you into relaxing once more, leaning down to pepper your face with sweet kisses. “my pretty girl,” you knew he wasn’t done with you yet, feeling his hips slowly begin to buck into yours as he comfortably positioned himself in between your legs, “can’t get enough of you.”

⠀⠀“you take such good care of me, jay.” your hands reaching down to palm his erection through his boxers, feeling the girth of it in your palm making you hum in excitement. before you could get up to go further, “don’t worry about that, baby.” the man above you intertwined your fingers together before kissing the back of your hand.

⠀⠀schlatt was in those moods where all he wanted to do was please you, he wanted everything to be about you.

⠀⠀freeing himself from his boxers, his cock immediately slapping against his tummy. he didn’t hesitate to get you in the position he loves; missionary. his big hands wrapping your legs around his waist before he began to pump his cock, not being able to resist slapping the tip on your clit to watch you grow impatient. “don’t be a tease, jay.” you whined, craving the stretch he gives you.

⠀⠀“so impatient, toots.” he tsk’d softly, a teasing grin on his lips. “i need you, please?” pouting up at him as you leaned to wrapped your arms around his shoulders, bringing him in close to whisper against his lips, “please? pretty please?” pecking kisses to his mouth to sweeten up your pleas.

⠀⠀“how could i say no to you?” he whispered, his eyes flickering between yours as he inserted himself into your slippery cunt.

⠀⠀the two of you moaning in unison into each other’s mouths at the feeling, you couldn’t help but dig your nails slightly into his bare skin causing him to groan. staying still inside you, his hands holding your body close to him; so close your chests were bound to become one. “jay, pl— please move.”

⠀⠀given the green light, schlatt thrusted his cock deeper into you, keeping a slow yet hard pace. your eyebrows furrowing as your lips fell into an ‘o’ shape, you couldn’t help the noises you were making when his hips were moving so sensually. “look at me baby— fuck, keep your eyes on me, sweetheart” his cock sliding out so slowly, just for his harsh thrust making your body slide up against the bedsheets.

⠀⠀his mouth leaving open mouthed kisses along your jaw and neck, stopping in between to quietly groan against the skin. with your moans spilling directly into his ear, the audible noise of how good he’s making you feel, he feels his cock twitch inside you. “you feel so good, jay — can feel you in my stomach” you panted. he swore everything about you made him more addicted, more sensitive to pleasure.

⠀⠀“i can keep you like this all day, i need to keep you like this all day.” jay always became more vocal whenever he was close. “you’d let me, right?” kissing his way back up to your lips, his passionate kiss making you dizzy. “only you, jay. you could do whatever you wanted to me.”

⠀⠀“you’re trouble, baby. fuck, i love you— love you so much.” his hands gripped your hips, your cunt squeezing him and sucking him back in for more.

⠀⠀your hands running across his shoulder blades, reaching to pull the hairs on the nape of his neck. “want you to cum inside me, jay, i need it.” your pussy fluttering at the thought. “i’ll give you all of it, don’t worry, doll.” he could feel the slick pooling underneath the two of you, your pussy leaving white rings around the base of his cock. “you’ll be a good girl and come with me, yeah?”

⠀⠀whimpering in agreement, your hips began to move against his to meet his thrusts making his forehead to meet yours, his eyes screwed shut as a low groan left him. “jesus, i’m gonna cum.” “give it to me, baby, come on.” your sweet words making him melt. your orgasms building up so quickly together, the two of you gripping onto each other. his dick painting your womb white as your pussy spasmed around him, your back arching into his chest causing him to hold you there tightly.

⠀⠀his face was buried in your chest, panting as he recovered from his climax. he didn’t want to remove himself from you, so he gently laid his all his weight on you. your frame being encased by his larger one, his weight comforting you from the aftershocks. his hand came up to brush the hair out of your face, before resting on your jaw. your limbs felt like jello, but you continued to run your fingers across his back.

⠀⠀the two of you remained in that position, comforting the other silently before he spoke, “let me get you some water, baby.” though you needed it, you softly whined as your grasp on him tightened. “stay like this with me . . just a couple more minutes?” his eyes finding yours and seeing how you truly didn’t want him to leave, “. . okay, baby. just five more minutes.”

⠀⠀he never had the heart to leave after five minutes, not after you fell asleep against him with the cutest pout. doing his best to clean you up without waking you up, he quickly found himself dozing off with you. the two of you entangled with each other, just as your hearts were.

[foundbybullet]

not to butt in with my twitter experiences but it was infamously known that if you supported what was previously the sleepybois, schlatt, connor, niki, eret, fundy, and definitely a few others that im forgetting dteam/dreams stans would harass you so bad that it was highly advised within the subtwt that you shouldnt have a ccat public

it got so bad at one point that it was basically no one who didnt like dteam wasnt allowed to interact

one time i made a tweet defending eret for their storyline and poking fun at gnf and sapnap (?) during a stream for making fun of eret and all of their stans came in calling me names and basically stupid for not getting their favs harsh jokes about the unserious lore

dream you literally made a thread comparing your autistic co-worker to a dog and sent an essay to tommyinnit's mother because he made a satire video that made fun of you for 5 seconds

[sofavoritepuppy]

secrets out- schlatt

fluff, references to smut, mostly just pure fluff tho :)

You blink your eyes slowly as you wake up. You hear the soft chirping of birds outside, and the sun casts your bedroom in an almost angelic glow. You stretch a little bit, but come to find there’s no resistance. You realize that, unlike most mornings when you wake, Schlatt’s arms aren’t around your waist. You groan, coming to the conclusion you should probably go and look for him. You decided he’s most likely in the kitchen making coffee, probably on his second pot as well. A small grin spreads across your face as you think fondly of him and his crippling caffeine addiction. You’ve had to hide the grounds from him multiple times, tough love as you say.

You swing your legs over the edge of the bed as you try to sit up. “Fuck!” You mutter under your breath, soreness seeping into your entire lower body. 

Speaking of tough love, last night was a lot of fun. You slide out from under the comforter and steal one of Schlatt’s shirts. You grab a pair of panties too, but it hardly matters due to the length of the shirt. “Jay?” You call out meekly, wincing with every step to the door. You sneak out of the bedroom and out into the hall. Voices float from the kitchen and you smile. You imagined your boyfriend listening to a podcast, or watching COD videos like he usually does when making the two of you food. You run your fingers through your hair as you slowly make your way to his kitchen. “Jay,” you call out again. 

“I am genuinely struggling to walk right now, thank you for that. If you aren’t making me breakfast right now after last night, I might actually kill you.” You complain as you step into the kitchen. 

However, as soon as you lay eyes on the scene in front of you, you feel your heart drop.

Ted, Eddie, and Charlie are all sitting at your kitchen table with Schlatt, a look of pure shock on their face. Hand still in your hair and eyes wide, you survey everyone whose eyes are currently on you. Eddie is staring at you wide eyed, brows furrowed together. Charlie is blinking, mouth agape, and rubbing his eyes every few seconds like he expects you to disappear. You snap your eyes up to Schlatt, giving him a panicked look as you tug on the hem of your shirt, attempting to cover yourself further.  “So…” You mumble, red flushing your cheeks. “I didn’t know that you guys were coming today.”

“We thought uh, we thought we’d surprise Schlatt for his birthday, but it looks like he surprised us.” Ted says. “We were going to invite you to this, but you said you’d be busy this week with that secret boyfriend of yours- oh. Oh.”

“Yeah…” You mumble as you look at Schlatt helplessly. 

“So.” Schlatt says and pushes up from his seat. “It appears the secret’s out.”  

He walks over to you and slings an arm over your shoulder. The group’s eye’s follow him do this usually platonic action, something Schlatt has done to them many times, but it has an awfully intimate sort of feel to it this time around. “I cannot believe you two are fucking.” Charlie says.

“We aren’t fucking dude, we’re dating.” You say, punctuating the sentence with an eye roll. 

“For how long?” Ted asks.

You look up at Schlatt and he lets out a chuckle. “Uh, for about a year and a half now.” He says.

The shock on everyone's face returns, and Ted looks aghast.  “A year?” He says, astounded. “She's been on Chuckle Sandwich since then! You guys have visited me in LA since then! You- you- you probably fucked after seeing me!” 

You and Schlatt share a look. “Well yes, but also-” Schlatt starts to say before you smack your hand over his mouth.

“Nope. We are not sharing this fun fact right now, big guy.” You say, knowing exactly what story he was about to share. 

“Why? What did you do?” Ted exclaims. 

Schlatt muffles against your hand but it stays firmly pressed against his mouth. “Ted, I really don’t think this is the time to share.” You say, sickly false sweetness dripping from your voice.

Ted opens his mouth to say something but is quickly stopped when you yelp. Schlatt bit you. You yank your hand away immediately. “Jesus Jay!”

“Had to have you bring your arm back down. Your shirt was too far up, you were flashing everyone.”

You turn a deep red yet again and say, “I’m going to go change.”

You look up at Schlatt pointedly. “Be good.”

He holds up his hands in mock-surrender. “What have I ever done? You’re the one who gave me the world's most graphic good morning!”

You roll your eyes as you walk out. You rush back to Schlatt’s room and pull on a pair of his sweatpants. They were massively oversized on you, you had to roll the waistband at least four times. “WHEN I WAS IN THE SHOWER? ON THE COUCH?” You hear Ted yell through the wall. Schlatt apparently could not listen to simple instructions. You rush back to the kitchen to see Charlie and Eddie cackling at Ted and Schlatt are arguing. “No dude!” Schlatt yells. “Do you remember what she was wearing that day? You wouldn’t be able to resist either dumbass!” 

He points at you like you were an example. “Schlatt.” You said, voice hard.

He knew what you meant immediately. He knows thats your you-need-to-shut-the-fuck-up-before-I beat-your-ass voice. “Sorry doll.” He mumbles, looking at the floor.

Charlie’s jaw falls back open. “Did- did I just hear JSchlatt use- use a- use a pet name? And apologize?”

Schlatt scowls at Charlie as he wraps his arms around your waist. “The fuck about it you fucking bimbo? Do you only call your girlfriend by her name?”

“No but like, I’m not you. I’m not a big ass tough guy.” 

“Aw Schlatt’s not that tough, are you love?” You say, and boop Schlatt on the nose for added emphasis.

“Dude you’re fucking embaressing me,” He replies and buries his face into your neck.

Ted, Eddie and Charlie look aghast. This is not the man they know. Eddie opens his mouth to say something, but is shut down by a loud ringing from Schlatt’s phone. He pulls it out, looks at it and sighs. “I have to take this,” He says, annoyed. 

He then shoots a pointed look at you. “Be good.” He says, copying you.

You dramatically nod and bat your eyelashes at him as he walks out. You turn back the group, and all of them open their mouths at once to start asking questions.

“So you woke up here?”

“Yup.”

“How often do you sleepover here?”

“Never.”

“The fuck you mean by that?”

“I live here.”

“EXCUSE ME?”

“Mhm.”

You point at a door across the living room. “That's where I stream from. Schlatt streams in the other spare bedroom upstairs.”

“You two live together?”

“Yup. Coming up on four months of living here.”

“You’re kidding right? There’s no way Schlatt can’t be heard screaming in the back of your streams?”

“He’s actually super quiet domestically.”

“Domestically?!? Sorry, are you guys like, in love?”

“Nope. Hate that guy.”

---

first schlatt fic ever yayy (i didn't want to post this to ao3 lol) tell if u guys like it and any requests or anything!!

[rencantstopfalling]

can you do roommates who are secretly hooking up (you have other roommates too) and schlatt decides to join you in the shower?

Sorry this took me a few days, been feeling a bit sick but I wanted to pump this out

Afab!reader

CW: Smut MDNI, FWB

New York City rent was atrocious. The only way you could keep going to school was by getting roommates. Good thing one of your friends had a spare room in her 4 bedroom apartment. You eventually became really good friends with all your other roommates. Especially one, Schlatt. It started off as stolen glances, then flirting, and after a drunk night alone, friends with benefits. It was really nice, you would hang out during breaks between classes, getting lunch or watching movies, but then at night Schlatt would sneak into your room and fuck you all night.

You guys decided to keep your little situationship private, because your other roommates liked to talk, and would definitely blow your whole arrangement out of proportions.

You and schlatt would only ever have sex when your roommates were gone, usually at classes or work. So it was definitely a surprise when you felt a pair of hands grip your waist in the shower. You turned to see a naked schaltt curling into your back, his hard on squished between is belly and your lower back.

"What are you doing? People are here!" You whisper yell

"Need you so bad" He then begins to hump your back. He grabs hold of his cock and starts to rub it on your slit. You let out a little moan, melting into the tile in front of you.

Without much warning, he slams into you, groaning at how smooth it went it. You gasped, schlatt took his left and covered your mouth while holding onto your waist with his right. He started to set a steady, hard pace, and if it weren't for the hand around your mouth, your moans would be filling up the apartment.

"Sshhh, keep quiet baby, let me take care of this pussy." He whispered in your ears, nibbling it afterwards. It was so hot, doing it, knowing your roommates could probably hear. His hand left your waist and started to rub your slit. You convulsing, knowing you were gonna cum soon. Schlatts thrusts became more sporadic, he then let go of you entirely, pulling out his cock, jerking it, and cumming on your wet back. He kissed you on the forehead and stepped out the shower, leaning you like jelly, and a whimpering mess.

"But Jay, I didn't cum." You said between whines

"Oh but baby, people are home." He teased back, leaving you to finish your shower all hot and bothered

[schlattslambo]

drunk words, sober thoughts || schlatt 18+

a/n: im really sorry for the delay 😭 please enjoy

warnings: female!reader, rough sex, choking, hair pulling, unprotected sex, belt used to tie hands together, the word cunt used a few times

——————

“say that shit again and we’re breaking this bed,” jay’s words send heat directly between your legs.

“make me scream,” you smile, sinking your teeth into your bottom lip.

jay growls low in his throat, his hand wrapping around yours. your smile grows as he puts pressure on your neck, leaning down and pressing his forehead to yours. his breath fans out over your lips.

“you drive me absolutely fuckin’ crazy toots,” jay saya before crashing his lips down to yours in a heated kiss.

jay’s teeth sink into your bottom lip as he tugs on it ever so slightly, eliciting a mewl from you. his fingers comb into your hair, tugging at your scalp so your head goes back. you let out a moan as he nips along your neck. his nips and kisses trail down to your collar bone.

“this is in the way,” jay mumbles, ripping your dress down the middle.

you gasp loudly as you go to yell at jay for ruining your favorite dress, but he does the same with your bra, instantly bringing one nipple into your mouth.

“j-jay!” you yelp.

“i’ll buy you another one,” jay mumbles against your skin. “i’ll buy you anything you want.”

his sweet words continue to warm you up from the inside as his tongue and mouth warm you up from the outside. he licks up the center of your chest to yours collarbone before nipping and sucking at your skin. he blows over the now growing mark making you shiver.

“get on with it,” you whine, pushing his head toward your crotch.

in response, jay whips his belt off.

“hands,” he orders.

you stick your hands out and he binds them with the belt.

“hold them above your head,” jay continues. “if you move them, you’ll get punished.”

you nod, licking your lips. “yes sir,” you respond.

jay continues to kiss down your body. by the time he gets to your waist, you’re squirming. despite the growing need that you have, you keep your arms above your head. you love being worshipped like this, even if it drives you absolutely insane. jay’s cheeks are still flushed from the alcohol, and his eyes are glazed over. not from drunkenness, but from carnal desire. he’s never looked so hot.

your thoughts are halted by your panties getting yanked down your legs. you glance down and jay licks his lips as he spreads your legs. you feel shy for a moment, not even sure why. jay’s seen you at all possible angles and loves every bit of you. he loves you from your head straight down to your toes.

jay smiles at your wetness. your eagerness for him. he spreads you open gently, watching as your cheeks flush, just like they always do when he gets a good look at you like this.

“you’re so beautiful,” he rasps. “so, so wet for me.”

with that, he lies on his stomach and kisses your thighs. he holds your legs open as they tremble. one swipe of his tongue through your wetness makes your back arch as you gasp loudly.

“j-jay!” you gasp. “fuck!”

jay chuckles against you, tongue circling your clit. the nub quickly swells from the stimulation and he sucks on it. your hips buck up into his face as you cry out. jay looks up at you from between your legs and you feel him smile against you.

your eyes are screwed shut and you’re biting your hand. it’s cute, how much you’re trying not to cum already. a finger teases your hole, gently pushing in. with one adjustment, jay grazes along the spot that makes your vision blur at the edges. he pumps his finger a few times before entering another finger. this step is necessary because no matter how wet you are, you have to prep for his thick cock.

“j-jay,” you breathe. “another one. please.”

“such a good girl, using your manners.” jay smiles, taking his mouth away from your clit just long enough to speak before adding a third finger.

your back arches at the stretch, pussy fluttering over the three fingers that are buried inside of you. you reach back and grip the pillow behind your head in an attempt to keep your hands from gripping jay’s hair.

“s’close jay!” you cry out.

in an instant, jay’s fingers are out of you. your pussy pulses over nothing as you whimper.

“so mean to me,” you pout.

jay chuckles as he takes his pants down.

“i’m gonna be rough with you tonight, toots,” he says. “okay?”

his grin falls as he asks. he doesn’t want to hurt you, as rough as he wants to be. he wants to ravage you, but he doesn’t want to really hurt you in the process. as his brown eyes bore into yours, you smile.

“tell me its okay to fuck you as hard as i can,” jay pleads. “i need to fuck you into the mattress.”

at your nod, jay is on you. his cock is lined up at your entrance instantly and he kisses you with such passion that it takes your breath away. he pulls away, cock sliding into you. he doesn’t just have a long cock, but it’s thick too. when you first had sex, you were sure it would rip you in half. now, you love being literally impaled by it.

“fuuuck,” jay moans, forehead resting on yours. “your pussy feels so good baby.”

you moan and bring your lips to his as he bottoms out. you lift your arms around his neck, the belt binding them at the back. jay starts thrusting as the two of you kiss, growling as his thrusts get sloppier and harder.

“hands above your head.” jay orders.

you comply and he holds them there while fucking into you. his hips snap to yours as his balls slap against your ass. his cock is hitting every single spot in your pussy, making you see stars.

“fuck, i need you over the bed.” jay says as he takes the belt off of your wrists.

you do as you’re told, getting up and bending over the bed. jay slaps your ass, forcing you to yelp. he’s quick to smirk at the pink now blossoming on your cheek in the shape of his hand. he rubs the spot before his hand comes down on the other cheek.

“j-jay, please fuck me!” you plead, gripping the sheets. “fuck me as hard as you can!”

without a word, jay slams into you again as your toes curl. his hand goes to your hair, yanking your head back. you arch into him as he fucks you. jay leans down and growls in your ear.

“my beautiful slut,” he smiles. “you love when daddy fucks you like this huh? with his cock buried deep in this pretty cunt of yours?”

the way you clench around him says everything you cant. pleasure shoots through you at the angle you’re at, and you fist the sheets as you’re fucked.

“y-yes!” you manage. “love it daddy!”

“yeah?” jay growls against your ear. “you love being treated like my personal fucktoy?”

you nod against his grip. “yes daddy!”

when jay is rough like this, it’s easy for him to get caught up in the moment. he never, ever talks to you like this outside of rough sex. and rough sex is a rare occurrence.

“god, you’re gonna make me cum,” jay grits through his teeth as his grip on your waist turns bruising.

“cum in me,” you breathe. “fill me up.”

jay takes your head and shoves it into the mattress as his thrusts get sloppier. he’s chasing his high and you’re not too far behind.

“g’na cum!” your words are slightly muffled due to your cheek being smushed against the bed.

“cum for me,” jay says. “cum all over my cock.”

as you begin to unravel underneath him, you feel jay’s cock pulse inside of you, painting your pretty insides white. you scream in pleasure, toes curling and a grip on the mattress is nearly ripping it.

jay lays on top of you after the two of you are spent, breathing heavily into your ear.

“god, i love you so much.” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the shell of your ear. “you mean the absolute world to me and i am so happy that i get to wake up next to you every day.”

you smile with your eyes closed, heart still thrumming against your ribcage. “love you so much baby,” you mumble.

jay gets off of you and helps you up, ignoring the fact that his cum is literally dripping from you currently. the two of you are sticky from sweat and flushed. you’re pretty sure the sex sobered the two of you up, but you aren’t sure.

“c’mon,” you say as you extend your hand out. “lets shower together.”

so you do. you take the time to wash each other’s hair, kissing and softly touching each other. this results in jay literally kneeling with his back to the water as you writhe against his mouth against the tile.

once all is said and done, the two of you snuggle in bed. jambo and the other one snuggle together at the foot of the bed while the two of you wind down. jay’s arm is around you as you listen to his heartbeat. you’re both sober, having had ordered chinese and taken some pain killers just to be on the safe side.

“hey babe?” jay’s voice comes out softly.

“yeah?” you ask, looking up at him from his chest.

“when i said that i cant wait to marry you?” he asks. “I really meant it. do you think you’d wanna get married one day?”

you sit up and kiss jay on the lips.

“of course, jay.” you smile. “i can’t wait to be your wife one day.”

that night, you slept in jay’s arms just like you did every night, but there was a deeper meaning this time. he’d said that he wanted to marry you. images of your wedding flashed in your mind as you drifted off to sleep, even with your future husband needing to take a whole boob in his hand just to fall asleep.

[steadiedcoffeekitten]

The expression on schlatts face makes me think that if he were a short king. He'd be so fuckin mad about it. He would be LIVID.

This man loves being a powerful, tall, intimidating, absolutely unapproachable being y'all cannot convince me otherwise.

spooky monsters!

[croworro]

Can you write a short schlatt fic in which the fem!reader confesses her feelings to him on stream or on the SDP -- but totally on accident? And of course he returns her feelings (either on off camera. You choose) Thanks boo!

Accidental Confessions

Pairing: Jschlatt x fem!reader

Word count: 1k

Warnings: none really

Summary: During a chaotic Phasmophobia stream, Schlatt’s relentless flirting leaves you flustered and questioning what’s real.

A/N: hope this is everything you were hoping for!! I’m actually so happy with how this turned out hehe

Your streaming sessions with Jschlatt had become a highlight of your week, and apparently, a highlight for thousands of viewers. What started as a one-off collaboration turned into a weekly tradition that fans clamored for. Schlatt’s relentless teasing, sharp wit, and surprisingly endearing moments always made for entertaining streams.

Tonight’s game was Phasmophobia, you reluctantly agreed to play after weeks of Schlatt goading you on Twitter.

“You ready to cry on stream?” Schlatt’s voice came through your headset as you joined the Discord call.

“More like ready to carry you,” you shot back, smirking as you adjusted your mic.

“Carry me?” Schlatt barked out a laugh. “Sweetheart, you couldn’t carry a flashlight without tripping over yourself.”

“Bold words from someone who hides in the van at the first sign of danger,” you retorted, rolling your eyes.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see that chat was already in chaos:

[Chat]:

• “Here we go again with the bickering couple.”

• “Schlatt’s flirting is so painfully obvious, omg.”

• “They’re gonna kill each other before the ghost does.”

The game loaded, and Schlatt’s teasing began almost immediately.

“Alright, chat,” he said, his tone smug. “Place your bets: How long before Y/N panics and accidentally gets me killed?”

“First of all, I don’t panic,” you said, grabbing the ghost detector. “Second, if you die, it’s probably because you’re too busy flirting with the chat to pay attention.”

“Oh, sweetheart, if I was flirting, you’d know it,” Schlatt said, his voice dropping into a playful drawl that sent an involuntary shiver down your spine.

Your face heated, but you forced a laugh. “Good thing I don’t have to worry about that, then.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” he replied, his smirk practically audible.

You busied yourself with the game, trying to ignore the way his voice lingered in your mind. The two of you explored the haunted house, with Schlatt cracking jokes and occasionally pretending to be scared just to make you jump.

“Y/N, the ghost’s name is Lisa. Think you can charm her into leaving us alone?” Schlatt asked as you stepped into the darkened kitchen.

“Why me?”

“Because you’re the one who keeps telling me I’m bad with women,” he said, grinning. “Let’s see you do better.”

“Fine,” you said, playing along. “Lisa, you’re a beautiful, independent ghost who doesn’t need to haunt this house anymore. Go find some peace, girl.”

Schlatt laughed so hard he almost dropped his flashlight. “Unbelievable. Chat, clip that. I need to save it for when Y/N tries to say she’s the serious one here.”

[Chat]:

• “I CAN’T WITH THESE TWO.”

• “Lisa’s shaking right now.”

• “Schlatt’s laugh gives me life.”

The game progressed, with Schlatt alternating between teasing you and pretending to be scared. When the ghost appeared out of nowhere, he let out a yell and ran, leaving you alone in the dark.

“Schlatt, you coward!” you screamed, clicking you keyboard keys frantically and fumbling for a hiding spot.

“Every man for himself!” he shouted from the safety of the van.

When the ghost finally disappeared, you stormed out of the house and into the van, glaring at Schlatt’s character.

“You are the worst teammate,” you said.

“And yet, you keep coming back,” he replied, his grin evident in his tone.

You groaned, but you couldn’t hide the small smile tugging at your lips.

“Don’t act like you don’t love it, sweetheart,” he added, his voice softer now.

Your heart skipped a beat, but you ignored it, focusing back on the game.

By the time the ghost finally killed Schlatt, you were too frustrated to even pretend to feel bad.

“Maybe if you didn’t spend half the game messing around, you wouldn’t keep dying,” you said, your voice sharper than intended.

“Aw, is that your way of saying you care about me?” Schlatt asked, his tone teasing but his words making your stomach flip.

“Of course I care about you, but I care more about winning,” you said quickly, not even thinking about what you had said.

“What was that?” he asked, his tone shifting slightly. Your eyes widened quickly when you realized what you had said.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, feeling heat creep up your neck.

“Nah, nah, you said something,” he pressed. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging, sweetheart.”

The chat went wild:

[Chat]:

• “WAIT WHAT DID SHE SAY???”

• “CONFESS CONFESS CONFESS.”

• “Schlatt, stop bullying her, omg.”

You groaned, ending the game and pulling up your stream controls. “Alright, chat, that’s it for tonight. Goodnight, everyone.”

The protests from viewers were immediate, but you ignored them, ending the stream and ripping off your headset. Your phone buzzed almost immediately.

Schlatt: Call me.

You stared at the message, debating whether to respond. Finally, you sighed and hit the call button.

“Bit of an abrupt ending, don’t you think?” Schlatt said as soon as he picked up, his tone light but probing.

“You didn’t give me much of a choice,” you replied, crossing your arms.

“Alright, fair,” he admitted. “But seriously, what’s was that about?”

You hesitated, your heart pounding. Schlatt’s teasing was usually easy to brush off, but tonight felt different—more personal.

“It’s just… I don’t know. Sometimes it feels like you’re not joking, and I don’t know how to handle that.”

“What if I’m not joking?” he asked, his voice quieter now.

Your breath caught, your pulse racing. “Don’t mess with me, Schlatt.”

“I’m not,” he said firmly. “Y/N, I’m not joking. I flirt with you because I like you. Hell, everyone in chat sees it. I thought you did too.”

You swallowed hard, trying to process his words. “I didn’t want to assume,” you admitted.

“Well, you don’t have to,” he said, his tone softening. “I like you, sweetheart. I have for a while.”

A nervous laugh escaped you. “You sure know how to make a confession dramatic.”

“It’s what I do,” he replied, and you could hear the smile in his voice. “So… what do you say?”

“I think we should play another game,” you said, a smile spreading across your face.

“Another game?” he repeated, sounding surprised.

“Yeah,” you said. “But this time, you’re not leaving me to die.”

Schlatt laughed, his usual confidence returning. “Deal. But if you keep calling me a coward, I might have to change my mind about liking you.”

“Too late,” you teased. “You’re stuck with me now.”

“Good,” he said, his voice warm. “That’s exactly where I want to be.”

[phxntomsdusk]

chuckle sandwich!!! It can be romantic or platonic I don’t mind but just some fun with Chuckle Sandwich. Maybe ganging up on a guest for the show in a stupid bit or smth?

Playground insults - Chuckle Sandwich x GN!Reader

summary: just you throwing little kid insults at the boys

warnings: swearing, jschlatt threatening to kill you- (joke of course)

tags: @ax-y10 , @joviepog , @pheliiaa , @idontreallyexistyet , @rqvii , @haunted-headset , @average-vibe , @ivvees-blog , @vibestillaxxx (ask to be added!)

word count: 225

Being on the podcast always ended with chaos, especially today. You had been in a particular mood, dishing random and stupid insults at everyone whenever you got the chance.

“And then he-“ You quickly cut off Schlatt as he was talking, a small smile on your lips. “Who?” He looked at you with a confused expression, about to answer before you spoke again. “Asked.”

Charlie let out an annoyed sigh, sounding like a tired dad as he shook his head and placed it on the table. Ted held back a laugh. And Schlatt looked like he was about to kill you.

“Say that shit again, I’ll put a bullet through your head.” He held up a finger gun, pretending to shoot you. You knew he was only joking (or at least you hoped), but you still put up a scared act.

“Oh, no! Don’t kill me!” You covered your face, before peering through your fingers and laughed to yourself. “Maybe death would be nice.. wouldn’t have to see that thing you call a beard.”

Ted and Charlie looked at you as if you were insane, while Jschlatt got up with an offended expression, stepping off camera and shouted very loudly. “What the fuck?! Who invited them?!”

Ted looked over at him with a raised brow, before clicking his tongue. “You did, Schlatt. You invited them.”

[storiesforallfandoms]

a winter night at rockefeller ~ jschlatt

word count: 1773

request?: no

description: in which he hates the big city, but he'll go wherever she wants him to go

pairing: jschlatt x female!reader

warnings: swearing, rpf, use of y/n

masterlist (one, two, three)

Most of what Schlatt said and did in his videos was exaggerated. Most content creators exaggerated themselves for the camera, but Schlatt very clearly had an online persona that was completely different to how he was in real life.

One thing that wasn't an exaggeration, though, was how much he hated the city.

When you're born and raised in New York, the place literally nicknamed "the city that never sleeps", people assume that you become accustomed to the big city life. Schlatt, however, absolutely hated the big city. He loved the state of New York, but he hated the crowds and the noise, and the hustle and bustle of New York City.

So when he found himself pushing through the dense December crowds, he was trying to keep himself calm. If it weren't for his beautiful girlfriend excitedly towing him along, he'd probably have lost it already.

Although, if it weren't for that same beautiful girlfriend, he wouldn't be here anyways.

(Y/N) had recently moved in with Schlatt in his house in New York after the two had been dating for two years. She knew how Schlatt felt about the big city, so she rarely ever asked him about going with her if she wanted to explore. She didn't mind going alone, or with Ted and Tucker whenever they visited. But when the snow started to fall, and New York started to look very Christmassy, she asked him to go to Rockefeller with her.

"I've always wanted to go skating there," she had told him. "You don't have to get on the ice with me. I'd just like you to come with me."

Despite her insistence that he didn't have to skate with her, Schlatt went out and bought himself skates, then he brought the two of them into the city.

They arrived at the Rockefeller ice rink and, predictably, the place was packed. There looked like there was no room on the ice at all. Schlatt tensed up. (Y/N) squeezed his hand.

"We don't have to skate yet," she said. "We can go get a hot chocolate or something first, then come back when it's cleared out a bit."

Schlatt gave her an amused look. "How chocolate?"

"Tis the season!"

He put his arm around her and pulled her close so he could kiss her head. "No, let's get on the ice so we can just get it over with. Then we can get hot chocolate to warm ourselves afterwards."

They made their way to the rink. As they changed into their skates, people started to steadily come off the ice. Schlatt had chosen to come down not late enough that it was dark yet, but enough that people would be getting ready to go home for dinner, especially people with kids. And he very much wanted to avoid any kids the most.

(Y/N) was ready before him, and she didn't wait for him before getting on the ice. He looked up in time to see her glide away from the door. He felt a smile tug at his lips. He stood, took a moment to steady himself, then moved to the edge of the ice. (Y/N) was already to the other side of the rink, easily gliding past anyone who she came upon. Even at this distance, Schlatt could see the smile on her face. Seeing her so happy put a smile on his own face.

Before he knew it, she was coming up to him again. She slowed herself down enough to take hold of the edge and stop completely next to Schlatt.

"Sorry," she said, although her smile was anything but apologetic. "I got a little ahead of myself."

"You failed to tell me you're a professional skater."

(Y/N) giggled and shook her head. "Definitely not professional. I always used to skate on the frozen pond by my house as a kid."

"Well, you're much better than I am. You're going to literally be skating circles around me."

(Y/N) put her hand out. Schlatt took it and slowly stepped onto the ice. He definitely wasn't as graceful as (Y/N) had been. The second one of his skates touched the ice, his leg was moving from underneath him. The hand that wasn't holding (Y/N)'s flailed as he helplessly tried to keep himself on his feet. (Y/N) grabbed for him. She was laughing as she helped him steady himself.

"Have you ever skated?" she asked.

"Not since I was in elementary school," he replied. "And I used to use those fuckin' skate guides. The plastic ones that were bright as fuck."

(Y/N) moved so she was right next to him. She looped her arm through his, resting her hand against his forearm. "Well, we'll just have to take it slow then. And if you fall, I'll go down with you."

Schlatt smiled at her.

They pushed away and started their skate. Schlatt was still holding on to the side with one hand. Whenever he stumbled a little, (Y/N) would tighten her grip on his arm to keep him from falling.'

Schlatt eventually noticed that they were going slow enough to be lapped by another couple.

"You know, if you want to skate ahead of me I wouldn't be mad," he told (Y/N). "I mean, this probably feels slower than a snail's pace for you."

"I don't mind going slow," she assured him. "I didn't come here to race around the rink. I came to skate with my boyfriend." She moved her hand to hold his and leaned into him. "Who I'm sure is hating every second of this."

Schlatt chuckled. "Only mildly."

Soon enough, they finally made a full lap around the rink. The sun was mostly gone, the rink was lit by the lights surrounding it. Most people had cleared out, so it was only them and a few other couples. Schlatt was stopped, leaning against the side of the rink. He looked down at (Y/N), who was gazing around the rink in awe. Schlatt couldn't help but smile at her. He reached out to pull her close to him - still trying not to fall over on the ice.

"Are you cold enough to get hot chocolate yet?" he asked.

She chuckled. "Oh, I was cold enough when we were walking from the subway."

Schlatt laughed. "Go around once more, then I'll take you to a cafe that I like."

"You don't want to come with me?"

"I don't think I should be on skates ever again."

(Y/N) didn't try to convince him further. She knew he was probably right. She kissed his cheek and let go of him to skate around the rink once more. Schlatt slowly made his way off the ice and back to where they had left their boots. He almost sighed in relief as his foot slipped free from the confines of the skate.

Why do they make these things so fuckin' tight? he thought to himself. My foot is gonna go numb from lack of blood flow before it goes numb from the cold.

(Y/N) was stood in front of him before he knew it. She was breathing a little heavily, but still had a small smile on her face. Her happiness was so contagious that Schlatt was able to forget everything about this trip that annoyed him.

She changed back into her own boots and they collected their skates to go. Schlatt took her hand and held it tightly so he wouldn't lose her in the crowd. Even though it had cleared off a bit, it was still busy enough that they could easily get separated if they weren't careful.

The cafe Schlatt wanted to go to wasn't too far from Rockefeller. It was a small, not well known spot that he used to go to when he was still in college. There was rarely ever anyone there, which made it the perfect spot to go to get away whenever he needed. He ordered two hot chocolates for them, and they went to sit in a booth near the back of the cafe.

"I appreciate you coming with me today," (Y/N) said. She leaned forward to blow on her drink to cool it off.

"Of course, you wanted me to come," Schlatt said.

(Y/N) lifted her cup to her lips, but winced as the still boiling hot liquid touched her lip. As she placed the cup back down, she said, "Yeah, but I know you hate the city, and I know skating isn't really your thing."

"I mean, I certainly will not be putting these skates to use ever again," he agreed, lightly kicking the skates that were now by his feet. "But I'm not going to say no to something you really want to do."

(Y/N) giggled. "You're whipped."

Schlatt scoffed. "I am not whipped! God forbid I want to do something to make my girlfriend happy."

She smiled and reached across the table for his hand. They were much warmer after holding the hot cup. Schlatt also felt like he had warmed up since coming inside. He almost dreaded having to go back outside.

"We can do whatever you want to do as repayment for today," (Y/N) told him.

He looked at her with confusion. "Repayment?"

She nodded. "I figure you may not have had a great time today, so if you wanted to do something else that you will consider to be a good time, I want to do that to repay you for taking me skating today."

Schlatt was shaking his head before she even finished her thought. "You don't have to repay me for anything. I may not enjoy going into the city, but I'd do it every day if you asked me to. Because I love you, and I love to see you happy. You had a good time today, so I had a good time today."

(Y/N) smiled at him. She squeezed his hand and leaned forward as if he was going to kiss him. Schlatt moved to close the gap, only to be stopped when (Y/N) said, "Whipped."

Schlatt pulled his hand away from her. "Okay, you know what? I take it all back. You can stay here on your own!"

(Y/N) was laughing before taking another sip of her hot chocolate, now cooled down enough that she could actually drink it. Schlatt was shaking his head at her. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I know," she said, and leaned forward to actually kiss him. "And I love you, too."

[gibsongirled]

HOME !!

description: you decided to visit schlatt in new york.

a/n: still kinda on hiatus, but i didn't want to leave yall hanging 😔 another fic's coming some time in december, trust 🙏

You hated rain in New York.

But you couldn’t complain too much when you were only visiting for a week. The rain had started when you landed. Intense splashes against the airport windows made you frown as the sky above darkened and thunder crackled in the distance, causing you to let out a sigh as you hailed for a taxi. You concluded after multiple visits to the city that the weather in New York was bipolar to say the least. Time Square was cool and the pizza was cool too. You had hoped to say the weather was cool like the rest of the things you listed off, but it was not.

Your shoes and jacket were wet by the time you clobbered up the stairs in his apartment building, your hair had managed to survive, but it was still damp in some places. One hand pulled your suitcase up on the stairs as you shook your umbrella, rain droplets coating the steps. Once in a while, you’d stick by the wall like a fly, letting people pass you by. Apartments in New York were the size of a shoebox and you shuddered to think about the rent - no way someone could afford to live here. People in the Big Apple either had family money or they sold crack on the streets, that’s what you remembered someone talking about it on some social media platform. You couldn’t keep up with the amount of sites that had popped up in the recent years. You only ever managed to circle through four apps and even then they were too much. (You logged out of Twitter each time you tweeted because what the fuck was that damn app on?)

You knocked on the door, letting your hand fall back down to your side as you waited a few seconds. Usually, your spur of the moment, impulsive ideas tend to backfire on you - like when you decided to surprise your family for Thanksgiving, only to find out that everyone was out of town and your key didn’t work - you had forgotten that the front door was replaced after your brother accidentally kicked it in. Your mother still tells that story to anyone who was willing to listen, and you just kept sliding down in your seat in a fit of embarrassment, hoping that God would make you disappear. You could hear some cursing and loud clattering on the other side of the door, causing you to a face as you questioned what was going on in there.

The doorknob rattled and the door swung open, making Schlatt blink in confusion as he looked at you like you’ve grown multiple heads in the span of a five hour flight from LA to New York. He said your name and you nodded, he blinked and said it again - to which you nodded again. His confusion was justified as you were supposed to be in LA and not in New York. And definitely not in front of his apartment looking like a soaked cat.

“So, you gonna let me in?” You started, running a hand through your damp hair. “The rain outside is terrible, I don’t even know how you-” Your almost rant was cut off by Schlatt closing the door in your face. Uhm okay then, wow. You were going to be offended, but he opened the door once again, having the realization that you standing in front of his apartment wasn’t a figment of his imagination. He should probably get more sleep.

“Sorry,” Schlatt sheepishly mumbled, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand, looking tired. Jambo and Soup meowed loudly behind him, making you laugh while he grumbled. “You’re supposed to be in LA,” he said once he ushered you into the apartment, dragging your suitcase along the floor, making the cats jump around as they sniffed and pawed at the suitcase, trying to figure out what it was.

“I finished the thing early,” you closed the door with a small click, “thought I’d surprise you.”

Schlatt let out a laugh, “Yeah, you definitely surprised me. Coulda sworn I was hallucinatin’ for a sec there.”

“I missed you,” you told him as the two of you stood together in the living room, the city outside now dark with lights turning on.

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, mumbling. “I missed you too.”

[squinch-depraved]

I LOVE YOUR VIRGINITY AU 😭😭😭😭 its actually so GOOD i cant wait to see what schlatt has to say when he talks to us (please tell me ur making a part 6😭🙏🙏🙏)

this series is so much fun i have so many ideas and apparently y'all do too so keep em comin i love you all

CW: a lil dubcon-y, choking, v rough

ted makes it out and down the street just in time to see schlatt yank open the door to the main building and let it slam behind him

he winces at the thought of what you're in for now that he's gone, remembering the hickey on your neck only when he crosses the street

schlatt, in the meantime, is barging into your apartment, mumbling a half-hearted apology to your roommate as they nervously grab their stuff and leave you two alone

he heads straight down the hallway to your room and just hovers in the entryway, tossing his bags down by the door like ted did

"charlie?" he starts

"i can explain-"

you try to reason with him but he just strides over to the bed in two large steps and climbs so he's leaning over you, staring down at you with a dark, vacant expression

"of course you're going to explain. you're gonna tell me all about it while i..." his voice trails off as he notices the bruise on the side of your throat

"what the fuck is this?"

he sounds different, like it caught him off guard

"that's not... that's not charlie. his hickeys are older. that looks like it just fucking happened. are you kidding me?"

"schlatt, i told you we aren't exclusive."

"i'm not mad you fucked someone else!!" he exclaims, almost in disbelief

"i'm mad you fucked one of my best friends."

you make a face and he narrows his eyes for a second

"...who gave you that, on your neck?"

unable to meet his gaze, you turn away and try to find the right words

"why are you acting so strange? do i know him?"

"schlatt..."

"what?"

he sets his jaw and gently takes one of your wrists in each of his hands, bringing them to either side of your head and pinning you down

"s-schlatt, listen, i don't want it to cause problems between you two," you stammer

his grip tightens as he realizes the only other person it could be

scanning your face to see if your remorse is genuine, he swallows hard and grins a hollow, hopeless smile

"you fucked ted, didn't you?"

his words paralyze you; the only movement in the room is the rapid rising and falling of your chest

"i'm so sorry," you begin once you can finally talk again

a deep sigh escapes him, and he shakes his head slightly as he looks away

"you fucking whore."

helpless to stop the strangled moan that falls from your lips, you shift uncomfortably on the bed

schlatt moves from his position on your side, leering down at you, to one on top of you, holding you down even more forcefully now

"i should've known. i shouldn't've told them how good you were if i wanted to keep you all to myself. fuck," he mutters, more to himself than anything

"i'm not some toy for you to-"

"shut the fuck up!! right now, you absolutely are a toy. can't believe you're that much of a fucking slut."

"schlatt!!"

"i said shut up!" he snarls

"was he better than me? i know charlie wasn't; there's no shot he fucks good."

he switches to holding both of your wrists in one hand above your head and grips your face with the other, squishing your cheeks and eliciting a small moan from you

"i'm only gonna ask you one more time. was he better than me?"

his voice is cold, and it send chills down your spine

"he was- it was different!! it was just different, schlatt, please, you know i don't like to compare," you babble in an attempt to satiate him

but it's not enough

he lets out a low chuckle and, in a flash, his hand is wrapped around your throat, squeezing tighter and tighter every second

"you're dumber than i thought," he muses, tilting his head as he enjoys the way your eyes roll back into your head, fluttering open and closed rapidly

a frantic, garbled grunt from you convinces him to release you, and he shakes out his hand after he does

he pulls off the clothes you barely managed to put on in time after ted left and wastes no time shoving two fingers into you

when you let out a wail and arch your back, he just shoves you back down by your hips and begins pumping them in and out at a merciless pace (this is for his pleasure, not yours, remember?)

"fuck!!! please, schlatt, stop," you beg

but he doesn't listen

just flicks his eyes up to your face and then shoves his head between your thighs

he's cruel with his tongue, swirling and circling and flicking at your clit endlessly

no amount of screaming his name changes his behavior, he just keeps eating you

occasionally he pulls away to look at the mess he's made of your cunt, sloppy and covered in both your juices and his saliva

he always returns to his feasting after delivering a harsh smack to your pussy

it goes on for almost an hour; your bedsheets are completely ruined by the time he pulls away, chest heaving, and wipes his mouth

you can't even speak, your throat is sore from pleading with him to stop. you gave up after the third orgasm

schlatt doesn't even say anything, just pulls his shirt over his head (giving you flashbacks to ted) and tears his pants and boxers off

you watch wearily as he hikes your legs over his shoulders and shoves himself into you

it would've hurt if you weren't absolutely soaked

immediately, he establishes a brutal pace, and you swear you can feel him brushing your cervix with every thrust

it's slightly painful, but you swear nothing has ever felt so good

he's got you bent nearly in half, watching your expressions as you sob silently from the bliss he's giving you

"bet he didn't feel this good."

he smirks almost imperceptibly when you shake your head vigorously, finally admitting what he wanted to hear

"yeah? bet he couldn't fuck you like i do. bet he wasn't able to reach this- fuck- deep inside you, huh?"

a raspy squeal escapes you, voice breaking from desperation

"got you so fucked out you can't even talk. just layin' there cryin'. do you know how pathetic you are? made your way around the whole friend group. are you fuckin' happy with yourself? you satisfied yet?"

he punctuates each question with a slam deeper into you than the last, gritting his teeth and hanging his head once he finishes speaking

"i'm gonna fucking cum in you. and you're gonna take it. do you understand?" he growls

nodding frantically, your walls clench around him, and he groans and somehow quickens his pace, jackhammering into you so hard and fast that you can't help but scream his name over and over, despite how badly your throat hurts

he's very vocal towards the end, moaning and grunting desperately as he pumps his hips forward a few final times before completely sinking into you as he releases

after a bit, he pulls out and lets your legs drop, noticing how shaky they are and patting one knee softly

"c'mon. i'll help you to the bathroom. but after that we need to actually have a conversation; i'm sorry i lost it like that."

dazed, you nod, and he helps you take a shower

as the hot water streams down the both of you, schlatt holding you up while he washes you off, he presses a kiss to the top of your head

"i don't... i don't want you to think i didn't enjoy sleeping with charlie and ted," you mumble dreamily

he falters for a second but continues cleaning you off

"i like you a lot, schlatt, but i'm into the two of them as well. i want you to be okay with that."

he lets out a deep exhale as he turns off the water, then steps out of the shower and helps you dry off

"i'd have to talk to them. we'll see, i dunno. can we just... spend the rest of the day together and talk about this tomorrow?"

a soft smile appears on your face and you nod, pulling him down to kiss you

"c'mon, help me get to bed. i can barely stand up."

[ohbabydollie]

prank and schlatt can be a dangerous combination.

yeah, he would double it

let’s say the both of you were just friends at the time of the ted prank, so he knows what he has to do.

step one: plant a seed into your head

“you’re so tiny” schlatt says laughing causing you to flick him

“shut up schlatt” you say angrily

“how tall are ya? 3’7?” he asks bursting out laughing “you couldn’t even take an incha dick if ya wanted”

step two: make you really want it

“could too!” you say upset while schlatt just keeps on laughing

“you couldn’t even take an inch of my dick if you tried” he says holding his stomach from laughing, “probably would cry tryin’ to take it all and beg me to pull out”

step three: make you take the bait

“you really think i can’t? i’ll show you that i can asshole!” you say dragging him to the room

step four: play out the plan

“jus breathe, jus breathe” he mutters holding your hips, slowly pressing his cock into you as you let out a moan

“i-i can take it” you say digging your nails into his shoulders

“no ya can’t, jus admit it, ‘ts okay” he says teasingly. you shake your head no and take a deep breath in before forcing his cock all the way into you, letting out a loud moan. you relax, feeling his cock pulsing inside you while you rest.

“told ya, i could take it all” you say now leaning onto him, breathing heavily

“now let’s see how long you can last” he says before starting to thrust in and out of you as you let out a gasp

[schlatt-love-bot]

yuck! part 1.5 - schlatt x reader

So, as I went to begin writing part 2 of Yuck!, I realized I had written a whole one-shot about being friends with benefits with Schlatt and literally included zero smut…it’s unacceptable. Here’s a little smut to hold you all over before I continue and complete part 2 :) 

NOTE: For the purpose of this part, the reader is female and goes by she/her. I know in the original part I left it rather gender neutral…I just haven’t really written much smut that’s not from a feminine perspective, it’s what I’m most comfortable with! Hope you enjoy :) 

[part one, part 1.5 (currently reading), part two, part three]

IF YOU ARE A MINOR, DO NOT CONTINUE READING! NSFW CONTENT!

The car ride to the cabin was tensely silent. You could tell by Schlatt’s lack of small talk as you drove through the mountain scenery that he was truly thinking hard about something—what exactly, though, you weren’t sure of. You had your hand lazily placed on the center console, and every so often Schlatt would take one hand off the wheel and give it a light pat, signalling to you that he was okay, just deep in his own thoughts. Bored, you began to look him up and down, thinking about all of the things you could get yourself into once you had gotten to the secluded cabin. As your gears got to turning…why did you have to wait that long to get things started? 

You reached your hand over the console and into his space, your fingers lightly grazing up and down his thigh, ever so slowly making your way towards his groin. You saw his eyes begin to widen, never leaving the road, though, as a rosy blush began to creep from his ears across the rest of his face. 

“Woah, what’s this bright idea, toots? I’m drivin’ ‘ere…need to concentrate…” He grumbled, feeling as you began to put more pressure on his semi-hardened member, causing you to giggle at his flustered state. 

“Mmm, well we’re getting really close to the cabin…and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my hands off you, Schlatt…” You said coyly, gazing up towards him with hunger in your eyes. He scoffed, continuing his steady watching of the road in front of him.

“Yeah, yeah…sweetheart, the more impatient you’re gonna be…the worse off it’ll be for you later…” His voice became strained the longer you kept your fingers on his now-hardened member, groaning at your touch. Giggling, you looked up, seeing the cabin slowly coming into view. 

“Fine, fine…you’re lucky we’re close to the cabin, otherwise I would’ve sucked you off while you were driving…” Your voice trailed off, as you sat back in your seat, looking out the window. You heard him sigh as he continued to drive, leaving you in a bit of confusion. What was this attitude for? He normally would never decline your advances, especially when it was in a…risqué location. 

Pulling out front, Schlatt put his car into park, not saying a word as he unbuckled his seatbelt, grabbed his phone, and made his way out of the car and to the trunk, where you had kept your bags. Stepping out of the car yourself, the cool winter air nipped at your skin, leaving you with more goosebumps than Schlatt had been giving your lately, walking to the trunk to grab your own bag when it was snatched out from your hands. 

“Hey!”

”Listen, toots…you may have been a brat on the way up ‘ere…but you’re lucky I’m still a gentleman. Not lettin’ you carry this in there, let’s get inside…” He grumbled, throwing your bag over his shoulder as he picked up his own, heading towards the door of the cabin. You sighed, quietly following behind, following him into the cabin. It was still rather cold inside, the wood fire stove not being on yet caused the inside of the cabin to feel closer in temperature to the winter weather outside. You gently placed a hand on Schlatt’s shoulder, walking in front of him to grab your bag. 

“Here…let me take these to our rooms…do you mind startin’ up the heater? It’s cold in here…” You voice trembled slightly due to the chill you were feeling, as Schlatt handed you the bags. 

“No problem…don’t need sweetcheeks to get frost bitten, right?” He chuckled, heading over to the wood stove to see how much firewood was there, and how much he would need to add to kindle the fire. You retreated up the stairs to find two separate bedrooms–even though the two of you were frequently sleeping with one another, you still slept in separate beds, unless the fun times tuckered you both out so much that you felt the need to sleep immediately. Those softer moments, waking up in Schlatt’s arms after a long, tireless night were the moments you found yourself craving, needing his touch in softer, more loving moments, rather than just the sexual ones. You sighed, opting to give Schlatt the larger room, placing his bag down on his bed as you made your way across the hall to put your bag down in your own room. Peering over the banister, you could see a dim flame coming from the heater, realizing he was able to start the fire quickly. Heading back to the entryway, you took your heavy winter coat off, feeling the semi-cool air beginning to prick at your skin as the room hadn’t gotten all the way warm yet. Walking closer, you watched him as he began shoving more firewood in, the flames ever so slowly becoming larger. 

“Nice work, big guy…” Your voice trailed off as you reclined on the couch, eyes watching him like a hawk. He slowly turned to face you, shrugging his own jacket off his shoulders as he eyed you up and down, immediately spotting your lack of a bra through such a tight shirt. 

“Toots…what the fuck are you doin’...” His voice got darker, deeper with lust as he placed his jacket down on the couch beside you, towering over top of you. Arching your back, you began to play coy, needing his touch after a long, desperate car ride. 

“Mmm, don’t know what you’re talking about…” His hands quickly latched to your hips, swiftly picking you up and placing you down on top of his lap as he sat on the couch in front of the fire. 

“You…you know exactly what you’re doin’...such a little brat…teasin’ the whole ride here, sittin’ here looking all perfect with that tight top on…” His words grumbled in your ear as his hands snaked their way up your sides and under your breasts, squeezing lightly. You let out a small yelp of pleasure, causing Schlatt to smile, knowing you were about to become undone with pleasure. 

“Name…name me one good reason why I should fuck you right now, sweetheart. You’ve been playin’ real dirty…really teasin’ me, testin’ me, here..” He growled, nipping at your earlobe as his hands began to massage your chest through your shirt, making you groan—you needed his touch on your bare skin, not like this. 

“Mmm, please…I’ve been as good as I could be…need to feel your touch…” You groaned, pressing yourself lower into his lap, snaking your own hands behind his neck and to his hair, giving him a light tug. He smirked at your neediness, feeling you begin to melt into putty in his hands.

“Use your words, darlin’...tell me…” 

“Fuck…need your hands…on my skin…all over…please…” You panted, through your hooded eyes you could see Schlatt’s shiteating grin begin to widen. He tugged at the hem of your shirt, slowly peeling it off your now-sweaty body, due to a combination of need for him and the intense heat of the fire besides you both. Leaning down, you connected your lips to his, swiping your tongue across his bottom lip before slipping it in as he began to laugh at your state. He gripped at your bare back, soaking in the moment.

“Look at you…at these. Perfect. Fuckin’ perfect..” He growled, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses and bites down your jawline and neck to your breasts, peppering the surrounding sensitive skin with sloppy wet kisses before looking up at you once again. 

“Words, princess…” 

“Mmm, fuck…Schlatt…please…” You groaned, head thrown back in pleasure.

“Please, what…? Words…” He ordered, hovering above your peaked nipples. 

“Mm, suck them, please….pleasure…needed…” You managed to get out before pulling his hair with one hand, forcing a connection between his mouth and your breast. He began going to town, lightly tugging on your fleshy mounds with his teeth, feeling the warmth between your legs beginning to grow in his lap. 

“Shit!! So…so fucking good…” You moaned, fingers tightening your grip on his flowing locks. You felt him hum against your breast, sending chills up your spine. 

“What now, toots?” He panted, looking down at the marks he’s now left painted all over your chest. Your groan spoke of levels of dissatisfaction, missing the warmth he was providing your body.

“Fuck…shit…need you…need you in me…” You begged, grabbing at his wrist to force his hand to your waistband. He snapped his hand back, laughing at how badly you needed his touch. 

“Now, now…you know better…nice and slow, toots..” He said, ever so slowly unbuttoning your jeans before beginning to peel them off of you. You lifted yourself as needed, connecting your own mouth to his neck to pepper him with kisses and hickies as he worked to unclothe you. He growled, pulling at your hair to separate you from his neck. 

“Nu-uh, you know better, princess…no touching, no kissing unless I say so. Got it?” He said, not giving you a chance to respond before his fingers began sliding around your slick folds, laughing as he felt how wet and pathetic you already were for him. 

“So wet already, hmm? How long have you been this needy for me?” He groaned in your ear, sounds of his fingers in your slick filling the air around you.

“Fuck…since…since we were at the apartment…talkin’ about coming here…” You groaned, burying your head in his neck. He let out a laugh, realizing just how long you were waiting for this.

“Mmm, maybe you were more patient than I thought, toots…” His fingers finally connect to your sensitive clit, causing your mouth to pour out a string of obscenities. He smiled at the sight, knowing just how close to fully coming you were. He drew soft, quick circles on the sensitive nub while leaving your neck with more kisses and bites, truly putting your senses to work overtime. 

“Schlatt..fuck! Feels….so..so good…let me cum?” You whined, managing to ask for permission before your release. It was something that the two of you had eventually added to your ‘friends with benefits’ contract a year ago, when Schlatt was growing frustrated with the amount of times you’d come without him. 

“Wait…wait a little longer. Can’t be coming without me…” He groaned, bringing his fingers to his lips to get a taste of your juices he had oh so missed. Your eyes never left his as he sucked his fingers dry, finally taking his hands down to his lap to undo his jeans, sliding them down slightly until his already-hardened member slapped up at his stomach. You let out a groan of desire, licking your lips before looking back at him. 

“Stroke me off, princess. I need to…need to get as close as you are…” He ordered, taking your hand and placing it on his shaft, hissing at the sudden connection. You hungrily nodded your head, stroking your hand up and down, using your fingertips to slide his precum down the rest of his shaft like lube to quicken your pace. Feeling your fingers on the redden tip of his dick made him hiss once more, throwing his head back. 

“Shit, (Y/N)...don’t know how you do this so well…so good…” He moaned, hands tugging at your hair. You knew the quicker you got him to his edge, the sooner he would fuck the living daylights out of you, and with that, you quickened your strokes. Once he began to buck his hips involuntarily towards your hand, he grabbed your wrist, signalling you to stop. Without a word, he lifted your hips, gently placing yourself back on top of him, lining his tip up with your entrance. 

“Words…use your words…” He growled, making eye contact with you, hungrier than he has ever been. 

“Fuck me! Fuck the shit out of me..” You groaned, as he began to sink your hips down on his length before you finished your sentence. Your moans came out together, as you began to arch your back as you bounced on his lap, his hands tightly grasping at your hips. 

“So good…such a good girl…bouncin’ on my cock like the little slut you are…” He groaned, bucking his hips up as he used his hands to forcibly bounce you even harder down on him. Your overwhelmed senses became too much, unable to voice your pleasure in cohesive statements. 

“Shit…shit..Schlatt…gonna…cum…” You managed to get out, fingers once again laced in his hair, tugging in ecstasy. 

“Hold tight, princess…not yet…” He said, snaking a hand back down to your folds to play with your clit once again. You moaned at the touch, totally losing control of all your senses. Seeing how completely at his mercy you were, his edge was coming near. 

“Come with me, toots….cum…” He groaned, his last few bucks getting sloppy as he felt his cock twitch within you, seed spilling into your pussy. Feeling full, the pressure finally tore open through your body, moaning like you never had before as your juices began to flow around his cock, spilling onto his thighs. Despite hitting your highs together, he still bounced you up and down for a few more moments on his lap, before disconnecting you from him, still sitting on your lap as he placed his forehead on yours. 

“You did so good, princess. So needy…” He managed to say, still catching his breathe. You mumbled, still unable to find your words.

“Thank you….thank you..” You meekly said, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. After a few moments of recollecting yourselves, you gave him a knowing look. 

“So…what other part of the cabin should we break in, now…?” 

“Mmm, you tease…I like that idea…let’s figure it out…” He growled, snaking your legs around his waist, heading for the spacious kitchen bar with a large window view of the woods outside your cabin. This was going to be a nice, long trip…