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ernestelm · 5 months

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Black Cat Detective movie rant

Ever since I made that video about black cat detective I've realised how much I despised the movie. It missed the mark so badly that after I vented I felt like I had more things that I hated about t.

Im not going to urge people to watch the video because I am cringing at it but I also want people to find it and maybe have more people be interested in black cat detective.

I'm going to be honest, that video made me never want to make a video again. Im just going to be mostly text based, I might start posting animations or something some day but don't expect too much from me.

Useless rants away, Im going to get to the point.

Im starting from the beginning since Im kinda hoping no one reading this watched the video. Bcd is widely considered a classic by Chinese people created in the 80's. I didnt grow up with it, I was more interested in western shows , but I did see people from 2000's which is my age range say that they did. To me this was kind of a red flag, you see, liking western shows means my norm is watching the newest rendition for a series. For example, I watched tmnt 2012, I didnt grow up with the 80's one. So colour me surprise when I started trying Chinese media and they had so little good kids shows that after the 2000's they were still referencing shows from the 80's.

By that point I've already started watching more kids shows, I just didn't want to sit through anime and tvs shows and feel drained in the end anymore. So it was definitely a surprise when the main character started absolutely obliterating the villains. It also showed the more dark side of nature, like praying mantis eating their mate so their offsprings can have more nutrition. The whole show as a concept was kinda cool, my only gripe was that they didn't kill off the main villains despite killing smaller villains you know, typical hero movie tropes.

In 2015 they created a movie, which was where it all went downhill. (It might also be the series's season 2 but I couldnt bring myself to watch it so Im not counting it) They movie was loved by a lot of adults because they toned down the violence. Whatever, its fine, a show didnt have violence as long as they have good plot.

The movie didnt have good plot.

Characters

The characters, weren't good. First off, I didnt like how they added thick eyebrows for bcd and like he still barely had any expressions.

the whole thing about animation is that you can distort facial expressions, surpass what humans cannot do in real life, even the original series had bcd puff up from anger.

Im going to do another section just based on animation later

Other than that they added gag characters like a goddamn duck that keeps coming in with underwears on. It was so goddamn annoying, they even repeated it several times as if taunting me. I find it to be a problem with chinese cartoons in how they dumb down humour for children despite China supposedly being smart. I might bring this up for another rant on a show that I might do in the future but you'll understand what Im saying if you watched any chinese children show in recent years.

They also brought back the iconic villain, one ear, who is both unlikable and barely entertaining, his voice was annoying, I never liked it when he was on screen, he was mostly useless either way.

They also brought in a new "one off villain" a gorilla who's story sorta had potential. He basically got pissed at a friend over a misunderstanding, thinking that his friend was selfish trying take the credit of both of their work despite his friend mostly using "us" and "we", while the people back at base used "you found it". It could've been a pretty good lesson on miscommunication. Other than that, he also started thinking he should take all of the credit, a good lesson on how jealousy can blind a person. Everything was in place and yet they still messed up. I liked how even after seeing his friend apologise to him through a hologram he still couldnt forgive him. He wasn't like the best villain but he was certainly a step in the right direction.

Alright now for the main character, yup that's right, bcd wasnt the main character. It was a pig kid. With a hedgehog for a mother, which is a goddamn pun that can only be translated in Chinese. 豪猪 hedgehog and 猪 pig. Weird design choice aside. The goddamn kid is the most annoying little shit I've ever seen.

Alright Im going to start with the positives, the kid could be a good example on stress on children, which is also a theme for another pig related kids show that I hate, might talk about it someday but I didnt like the show so I'm probably going to take a while. He goes to tuition every single day, his mom honestly kinds of neglects his interest to be a policeman. Only allowing one poster of bcd in his bedroom, giving him tons of homework in one scene, it would've been a good chance to show the stress he is in, already having so much pressure to succeed in life despite only being in primary school. Instead, the show decides to play it off as a gag, haha relatable, dont you think this is funny? As someone who grew up in a competitive Chinese school, I would say no. Story for another day tldr, it ruins your mental health and your relationships if you're not careful.

Now for the negatives, the kid is annoying. Well immature traits are annoying to me, so I might be biased. First off, the kid keeps trying to save the day despite it being wildy out of his capabilities. Exhibit A, trying going against 2 adults, one being a prisoner who escaped from a high security prison. He was lucky that his idol, bcd arrived in time to save him. Bcd even told him that he shouldve contacted him instead of facing 2 dangerous adults alone. And yet the kid kept going in and save bcd, being a kids movie they of course want everything to go well but his presence did cause the two villains to escape containment at one point. His presence did cause bcd to have to hand over a dangerous item as he was held hostage, why? He decided that instead of calling bcd to warn him about his battery being stolen and probably being used to escape, he goes on his scooter to warn him. Mind you, this show has phones, they had a gag were a girl liked bcd and asked for his number, which he replied with China's emergency number so contacting him via phone was an option. In the end everything works out, he was even rewarded for being reckless, now assuming this show was targeted at kids ( based on the juvenile jokes ), what message would this send to the children watching? It certainly isnt a good one now is it.

He also doesnt freaking tell bcd about the plan of the villains instead kept telling him how much he likes him and shit and waiting until he gets asked before splurging out the information. He also made the high stakes feel so much weaker as people's lives were at stake when he was freaking stanning and crap.

There's also his friend who was only introduced to give the kid a vip ticket so he can be at the scene when the 2 villains arrived there despite it not being opening day yet. His friend is absolutely underutilized, his father is the curator of the green star which was the place, and the weapon that the villains used, yeah the event was held on a spaceship, which the villains were planning launch to space as some sort of sick revenge. High stakes that were absolutely underplayed by the protagonists but I digress.

He never went to check on his friend who, as stated was in the location of a crime. He was supposed to be the "best friend" and yet he never contacted his friend after the incident. I cant even entirely blame it on him as after the main character met his idol and "helped" him, he never contacted this friend to tell him about everything or something. Which made their friendship even less natural and making the fact that he was merely a plot device even more obvious.

Plot

After seeing how his friend was treated you already know the writing of this is going to be a treat right? I expected so much from China, who force their kids to memorize Chinese classics and read so much literature, you would think that the place that supposedly invented paper would have better writing but no, its absolutely garbage if you cant tell from my sarcasm in my first sentence.

Now now, Im going to start with the obvious, any writer or like writing enthusiast would know about the quote "show dont tell". Yeah, tell that to the writer of Mr Black: Green Star. Sorry I didnt being up the name of the movie sooner but, I dont like the name at all and was procrastinating on even typing out the words. They continuously repeated this elite group of policemen (yes, from what I can tell they were all male) yet never showed them, I had to go on 知乎 to even find any information about it. Even so, I wasnt even sure if it was official.

Other than that there was this plotline where bcd won his first award at 14 for defeating professor strange (generic ass villain, dr strange wannabe, can you tell how much I hate this movie?) look as much as it messes up the timeline, I might excuse him as maybe being younger in the original series causing him to be more violent. Like maybe he got more responsible causing a more child friendly new gen bcd but that's expecting too much from the writers.

I really, really wished that they started with a movie of him joining the elite team and defeating professor strange or something instead of whatever this is. It would've established his character. Maybe starting with a more feral and hostile bcd, maybe even mourning for his friend who died in the original series and wanting to kill the villains but being told killing is not the solution. It would've been a new chapter, it would've saved a few seconds of my life from listening to characters repeating the same thing, that could've just been in a movie.

Moving on, we have logic. There is barely any. Oh Ern! Stop being such a soggy cereal, can't you just enjoy a movie without debating the logic? No, not when they both cause stupid behaviour and ignore a goddamn chance to be educational which links it to the edu part of the original series. First off stupid behaviour, the kid drives a jet because his dad is a pilot, thats not how it works, I bet the writers thought they were smart like, chekovs gun moment! Remember how the friend made an offhand remark on how the main character's dad is a pilot? Well yes I do. But also I don't drive a boat because my dad is a fisherman because it doesnt work like that.

Other than that g force. Gravity altering device, whatever, I could care less but bcd withstanding 8 g force without equipment? Real shit. They couldve said something about how cats can handle higher g forces or something. Whatever , theres thankfully not much information about that but one thing I am sure of is, the goddamn jet the kid was driving also had g force. Why wasnt that brought up. Why cant the kid handle the device but could handle a jet? They could've thought the kid about g force and make him experience it himself. Maybe do a flashback on it when he was on the jet. It would've been an upgrade to bcd teaching him how to shoot and making the final scene about him never being able to aim well but dealing the final blow perfectly. The shooting part could've been more talent or something honestly, I dont care much of it.

Enough of the g force. Talk more about plot. What else is there to say? This whole thing is just a shallow movie, what am I gonna talk about, the one lff minion who was basically just there to fill in the chase scene? There is barely any substance in this movie, it felt more like a cash grab but like itt can't even sell merch because the character designs were mid and most of them are unlikable other than bcd but that's just my opinion.

Animation

Shit was weak, as I said they never utilised the fact that they used 2D animation. The animation techniques used felt more 3D than 2D.their smear frames are just a white blur. Their expressions are boring. and the side characters looks like this

Ive seen passion projects on youtube with better quality screenshots than these. I would rather it have self inserts of animators. Heck I've seen better quality animation in Bilibili productions. LOOK AT TGCF, HECK, LOOK AT WHITE CAT LEGEND. Those aren't even national culture icons, they weren't even released in theatres and yet look at the quality.

The worst part? They used 2D animation to honour the original series. It didn't feel like honour at all, in fact, it felt like an insult. I feels like the people who watched it only watched the series a few times as a kid and didn't even rewatch it to write the new show.

Anyways, I hope I never think about this movie ever again.

#black cat detective #movie rant #chinese animation #mr black: green star

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ducklooney · 3 years

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Finally finished, but this time colored. : D Yes, I published this drawing a week ago, it was just not painted, so I apologize for that. This time it turned out a little bad because I was in a hurry and I apologize for that. I apologize in advance for my bad drawing. By the way, I've already talked about what this is about and I'm showing the previous post: https://ducklooney.tumblr.com/post/647669331085459456/another-drawing-related-to-both-easter-and-my

This time I devoted a little to the fashion of the 80s and 90s, but related to cartoons and comics. Maybe my headcanon is about today, and it would mean that the Cabs, along with Daisy and Rosihna, were teenagers during the 80s and 90s. Donald, Jose, Panchito, Daisy, Rosihna (Maria Vaz), Donald and Jose's nephews and Daisy's nieces. Anyway, everyone here is definitely wearing clothes from the 90s in this drawing. ;) Yes, it is done during the night, where some spotlights work in a Latin American or maybe even Brazilian town, where they spend the night after Easter together. Yes, here in the drawing, the caballeros in 90s clothes (Jose wears clothes from comics similar to what he wears) are having fun with their girlfriends. Donald with a cap and a blue hoodle jacket as a DJ plays with Daisy Duck wearing a jeans jacket and jeans with her teenage-like hairstyle (inspiration taken from the Young Donald comics) and listening to music from the 80s and 90s. Panchito between Jose and Donald wants to catch up with them as he makes his good pose, wearing a red jeans jacket and Texas pants (even though he is Mexican). Ze Carioca (Jose) tries to get his girlfriend Rosihna to dance, and Rosinha just smiles, but still agrees to Ze's invitation. April Duck eats chocolate eggs, while Huey and Dewey use a custom from Central and Eastern Europe (primarily from Slovenian countries) as their ploy and joke, where as usual, on Easter Monday, boys spray girls and they also spray Daisy's nieces, before only May and June. May Duck listens to music through headphones from her cell phone and probably says to herself, "Idiots!" dedicated to Huey and Dewey. Louie Duck plays football (yes, spotlights work at night, and also the bright moon) with Jose's nephews named Zico and Zeca Carioca, and they all love sports together. Zico and Zeca especially like to play football (Brazil is known for that). Yes, both Zico and Zeca are the same number of years as HDL and they are also teenagers, with the fact that the two of them are just starting to differ, so I gave them a different color of cap. How exactly I imagine the two of them as teenagers, about that another time. Certainly, maybe next time, I will make special drawings related to these events in this picture, but I must say that I also took inspiration from various pictures and various fanarts (related to the clothes worn by AMJ, Donald, Rosihna, Daisy and Panchito) and certainly from the comics (Ze Carioca and his nephews) and that this represents in some way a blend of the Quack Pack and Ze Carioca comics with the Legends of the Three Caballeros. Yes, this represents in a way my view of what a Quack Pack should look like, but about that another time. Although late, I wish you another happy Easter! Also, even though it's over, I wish you a Happy Siblings Day! I mean this primarily about Donald and Jose’s nephews and Daisy’s nieces. And sorry for my long text. And I leave one unlit and two illuminated my same drawings that I photographed, just in case.

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Ducktales Final Four: The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck Review! or The Batman Trial Episode but with Ducks, Sharks, And the Fonz

Hello all you happy people and welcome to the penultimate Ducktales review... for season 3 anyway. I still have most of season 1, all of season 2 (I did cover one but I’ll probably redo it), the tie-in comics, the 87 series, and even then i’ll never really be done with ducks between all the scrooge comics and other duck related shows like Darkwing Duck and Quack Pack. But as far as covering the show as it comes out as i’ve done for the past year, that’s’ts almost done. It’s honestly just starting to hit as I type this: this is the second to last episode. After next week while there’s always fan fiction (And I certainly aim to contribute to that), a possible Darkwing Duck Reboot under frank (though that’s in doubt) where they could show up, and a movie down the road given what we saw with Phienas and Ferb and the show’s popularity it’s still not the same as getting these well animated, well crafted adventures every week with breaks or the ocasional entire week of them. The show won’t go on, and whatever happens with the property next is a mystery no amount of ducks can solve.

So with all that in mind naturally this episode is a breather episode: It’s not unimportant: like the rest of the season it ties off a lot of loose ends, adds in some stuff we didn’t know we wanted, and in general feels necessary like every episode this season. It’s something I credit the season for immensley: They knew this would probably be it so while they had more stories to tell, they made sure if these were their last, to leave no loose ends. And outside of ones they just never wanted to address in the first place like “What happened to Donald’s parents”, “Why was every trace of Della missing despite Scrooge’s search for her having just ended”, and “What did Della thing of the decades long seperation”, they’ve tied up pretty much all of them except for FOWL and what Beakly was lying about, and I feel both are about to ducktail into one another int he finale. Could be wrong but I applaud them for tying off almost every loose end and character arc by this episode that isn’t related to FOWL in some way. Not every show can do that: She Ra was a masterpiece but still had a few things like Scorpia and Catra’s broken relationship, Hordak’s reformation and Adora’s Parents just left up in the air due to time constraints, Steven Universe ONLY got to go back and answer a lot of questions because they were lucky enough to get an epilogue mini series, and Star Vs... was not as good as either show by the end and by the finale about 80% of things it’d brought up all had the following answer:

My point is it’s VERY hard, even when you know the end is coming to tie everything up in a neat bow. And I can’t know how good the finale be or how satsifying it will be but given how well this season’s wrapped everything up so far, i’m betting on immensely. But we can talk about that when it finally comes around next week. For now we have a trial episode to talk about that’s mostly good.. mostly. See why the mostly under the cut as I discuss and recap the episode with full spoilers. Count it down!

We open in the Mansion, where a bunch of tribble like Fuzzy creatures are running amok. Unsuprisingly, Scrooge bought one for Louie as a pet to teach him responsiblity.. again. And once again he instead turned into a get rich quick scheme, didn’t read the manual and now they have an infestation.

ONCE AGAIN, Louie is written like he’s barely changed at all in the past three seasons. Anyone whose been following my reviews regularly knows this has been a pet peeve of mine for the entire season. Despite having an ENTIRE arc about Louie growing as a character and learning the human cost of his scheming and to use his angle seeing talent’s wisely, the writers keep writing him as if he learned nothing. I went back to track it and while not as often as it felt I noticed a few things. The first is that it WASN’T like this for the first half of the season. No really. He even learns brand new lessons in The Trickening and Louie’s Eleven. Granted he also exploits his uncle in Louie’s Eleven but that’s mostly played for laughs.. still not a great bit but not a major part of the episode.

So he was fine for the first act of the season... but then for whatever reason from Let’s Get Dangerous onwards (Again I don’t count the Christmas episode as both of those are meant to slot in anywhere and chronologically take place before this season for the timeline to make any sense), he’s just...

He’s utterly insufferable in his small parts of the first half of Let’s Get Dangerous! as he berates Huey for daring to look a gifthorse int he mouse.. even though everytime he’s seemingly got something for nothing or minimal effort it’s backfired and it’s something that seeemd to stick with “The Richest Duck in the World!”. He’s fine in Impossibin and alright in split sword as while he clearly hadn’t learned lying isn’t the best policy we at least got a good story out of it. He then went right back to obnoxious with New Gods on the Block where he, EPISODES AFTER THE SOLEAGEO FISACO again thinks an easy way out is the right way, and has NO guilt over possibly killing a bunch of people with his gold powers and in fact is disapointed he dosen’t get to keep a living being turned to gold!. He spents all of Fight for Castle McDuck being a huge dick to Huey AGAIN iwth no lesson, and now has yet another family endagering get rich quick scheme he feels no remorse about.

I will admit when I”m wrong and I DID think it was in way more of the season than I thought. And let’s face it in real life personal issues don’t just go away and you can sometimes slide back, i’ve done it way too many times and i’m not proud of it. We’re only human. But this isn’t real life, this is cartoon ducks. And cartoon duck wise most character development has stuck or if a bad trait’s come back it’s been in a new way. Webby is still trusting, but knows how the world works now and while idolizing scrooge dosen’t think he’s perfect anymore. Huey is no longer a skpetic towards the super natural and hasn’t forced a party on anyone. Dewey hasn’t craved other people’s love or thought he needed to earn his mom’s love again. And that’s just the other kids. They aren’t the same people theyw ere going in, neither is Louie. So it’s grating when an episode acts like h’es exactly the same, let alone almost a fifth of the season.

What makes it even worse though is that he had an ENTIRE STORY ARC dedicated to learning some of these lessons already. With the others if one episode were forgotten i’d let it slide as it happens with tv, i’m used to it. It’s not a great look but it happens. Mistakes happen again we’re all human. But you can’t act like an entire arc of a series didn’t exist. While they ignore Della’s history somehow being hidden for the rest of the show they don’t ignore that Dewey spent a whole season looking for her, as he never hides something like that from his brothers again nor do they, and he’s out of them the biggets mama’s boy. While they did take a while to adress Lena, partly because the episode got pushed back, they didn’t act like season 1 never happened and she was still working for her aunt. Della still isn’t on the moon and Owlson still isn’t working for glomgold. Actions. Have. Consequences. That’s the whole point of this episode, but they act like none of it got through to louie and it makes his arc feel like a giant waste in hindsight. This episode even feels like it was SUPPOSED to be in that arc: Louie is back to his season 2 characterization, Scrooge is actively trying to mentor him again.. it just feels really out of place as our second to last episode in that way and drags it down a bit.

Thankfully after Scrooge bars the door, and possibly leaves everyone to their deaths but he presumably has enough faith in the kids, the twins and Beakley to take care of it, he gets a summons to court.. and gets kidnapped. He and Louie are whisked away to a mystic court presided over by a giant statue of justice holding scales, that judges someone based on Karma. Scrooge’s foes have brought him to court, blaming him for being evil and if he looses he looses EVERYTHING. And their proscutor?

Sadly not Droopy, maybe next continuity, but searing the same Hannibal-Esque Getup is Doofus Drake to Louie’s horror. As for why he’s like this.. he thought iht was fun. Great gag.

After the credits we find out why he’s doing this: He’s still pissed about Louie taking half his inheritance and giving it to his family, so he’s going to take LOUIE’S inheritance. It’s.. honestly a great setup: Doofus was already a villian I liked, being a nice weird evil mirror dewey instead of a walking fat joke like last series. So I was glad to both see him pop up one last time to make it a full trilogy of apperances as an angonist and to see him take a step up from his passive roll in the past: in his first two apperances while he was evil and abusive, and still is, his evil was mostly due to his own warped logic, feeling he could put shock collars on and control people and that Louie lying to him was enough to warrant making him into a pinata. He’s still a bad person mind you: kid or not he ensdlaved his parents, tried to enslave louie and goldie and in general REALLY needs some help empathizing with people. But my point is that before he didn’t come after anyone.. so it’s a nice capper to have his final turn as antaognist be him going after our hero.. and at his most dangerous. Before someone would’ve come for Louie eventually in Doofus’ first apperance and Goldie would’ve found a way out or Scrooge, despite grumbling about it, would’ve helped.. if nothing else than to lord having to save her from a 12 year old over her. Here if he wins the family is out on the street and three of their greatest enemies are now infinitely more well funded.

So while naturally unnerved by his rival Louie offers to defend Scrooge who denies it despite the fact that Louie is REALLY good with words, and Scrooge, while not bad with them, can’t stop shouting and keeps pissing off the baliff, played by my boy Henry Winkler whose done a lot of voice work and also played Fonzie on Happy Days, is currently on the HBO series barry and in general is just a fucking delight. The irony is also not lost on me that he’s not playing a lawyer here despite being one on arrested development.

We get our first witness: FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD. Hell. Yes. It’s nice to see him in his full glory one last time, as I don’t know how much he’ll be in the finale. Scrooge blows of the Duke Baloney thing, which is fair given that while Scrooge screwed up there, Glomgold still stole money from him right after and then spent his whole life trying to one up him. But Glomgold has a different tale in mind as he stole something else from him: the limelight.

It was 1980-something and Glomgold was a bonified celebrity in Duckberg for his hot dogging, grandstanding and treasure hunting loved by all and took Baba Wawa, a nice mix of Barbra Walters and the parody of her on SNL by the late Gilda Radner, to a shark shaped cave to get the gem of the shark god, a ruby tooth at the end of the cave. Naturally Scrooge popped up and easily made his way through and stole the spotlight. As it turns out he wasn’t always well loved and it makes sense: he dismises Baba asking him about how disliked he is, and dosen’t care and even in the current story, or rather season 1 of it, he dismiseed PR entirely in Jaw$. He was rich enough and enough of a job provider he just didn’t see the need for fame or glory, that just came second so it’s logical no one liked him. Fortunes naturally reverse as you’d expect though: Glomgold dashes forward and ends up putting Baba and her camerabird in danger and being Glomgold he irrationally assumes she’s working for Scrooge and leaves her to die. Scrooge however, after getting the rock, goes out of his way to save her because it’s the right thing to do. He can be selfish at times, and as we’ll see monstrously so, but at his core Scrogoe is a good man who will do right when the chips are down. So this leaves Glomgold trapped and Scrogoe getting his good press instead and realizes he likes the attention.

As the flashback ends Glomgold fills in the gaps, pointing out he was stuck with the sharks for days, but slowly bonded with them learned from them and they became family, helping him with traps, joining him for thanksgiving and even getting a heart taatoo with a shark on it. Awww. Look I didn’t really need to know where Glomgold’s love of sharks came from, nor that he had some weird tarzan origin story with them.. but my life is 100% better knowing all of this so thank you Frank and Matt. Thank you. I’m also entirely convinced the two have had this whole part of his backstory ready to go for three seasons and were waiting to use it, along with the other two bits we’re about to get to. This episode as you can tell is also a vingette episode, but one where the wraparound is way more improtant than usual.. but it works given the setting and allows the stories to be as long as they actually need to be, and it addds some nice stakes instead of just having Scrooge’s villians gripe about him.

Scrooge protests and the Bailiff puts a clamp on his beak, so he has no choice in the matter when Louie steps up for the defense. Louie also proves that irresponsible he may be.. he’d be a damn good lawyer, as he easily picks things apart, pointing out Glomgold was ALREADY bad by then, Scrooge had no intent to steal the spotlight and Glomgold is currently planting dynamite under his chair, with predictable and hilarious results. So he gets put on the “good” side of the scale. Next witness.

Next up is Ma, and I was delighted that as I’d hoped and theroized this episode wrapped up one little plot point that while not major, was something I was curious about: Ma’s claims Scrooge stole Duckburg from her family. This was also likely the backbone of the episode at one point as Frank pitched a beagle trial episode at one time, but Disney nixed it. Likely the magic stuff was added both to justify it better and to distract Disney Channel’s higher ups because they constantly underestimate what a child will like. It was for the best though as the beagles are just a bit weaker here: While Character Actress Margo Martindale is a delight and was specifically cast for the role, overall it just feels like they ran out of ways to make the beagles a big threat and releigated them to muscle when needed, to the point they only appeared in one episode besides this one this season as with FOWL about, they didn’t really need villians of the week and what ones they did use like Glomgold and Mark were far more entertaining villains who needed a coda to their stories.They aren’t bad characters, but in a series where their breaking into the bin or mansion wasn’t a story the crew was interested in they served no real purpose.

So we finally get answers about the whole Deed thing: It was sometime in Ma’s childhood, good look guessing when, and the Beagles owned Duckburg having clearly overwhelmed Fort Duckburg at some point in history between Clinton’s defense of it and now, with Grandpa “Pa” Beagle finally making an apperance. In the comics he was basically what Ma is to both series: the scheming brains behind the beagles who showed up on occasion and it was a good idea to use him as the past version of her.

Scrooge naturally comes a calling and unsurprisingly Ma was lying: Scrooge offered to buy the place first from Pa, he refused outright, and then when Scrooge showed off the money he was offering, Pa bet the deed for it in an arm wrestling contest. Not only that but as Scrooge finds out as he almost looses, Pa was cheating having a smaller beagle boy operate pull a lever in a device attached to his arm to give pa extra force. Scroooge simply dropped a few coins to distract the guy and claimed victory and the deed.

Little Ma is left dejected though and Doofus claims he ruined his life, but Louie steps up, at this poitn Scrooge has learned to reign himself ina nd accepted Louie as his defense without saying anything, a nice subtle bit. He probably realized that while irrepsonsible.. Louie has everything to loose her and no reason to slack off and dosen’t even relaly have to lie for his uncle to get him off: he’s simply using his ablitiy to see all the angles to poke holes in their story.

Case in point, he orders the “tape” to continue and finds Little Ma berating her dad for his failure and forcefully taking control of the family. LIke Glomgold, Scrooge may of cost her something.. but it was something she and her family hadn’t earned and they were still on a bad road. Scrooge just made it worse.

But suprisingly, its MAGICA, who we’ve established is an uncaring monster, who has a story Scrooge genuinely feels bad about. Like the rest she was not a good person: Long ago she and her brother Poe were extorting a villiage, and lording over it as gods, changing the population into goats, toads and other things. The only diffrence from what Magica would do to the blot and presumiibly others later, is that Poe reigned in her manical tend ices, trying to get her to think things through. The goat transformation was so they’d have milk and at least get something out of it and as to not waste all their slaves. Poe is voiced by Martin Freeman of The Hobbit and Black Panther fame. Great actor, does amazing work here. So like the others Scrooge changed things, and fought someone with bad intentions for his own self. He talked Magica into fighting him with both amulets by playing into her ego and Poe trying to talk her down, and easily deflected her bolt with the dime to turn her into a crow with her own spell. So far it’s just like the other tales in a nice mirror.. it’s what comes next that makes Scrooge into a bad guy too. Not as bad as Magica and Poe.. but sitll not good. Poe dives selflessly in front of the coin.. and shockingly while she cared nothing for Lena.. that wasn’t the case for Poe. Magica is truly devastated, desperatly trying to put the amulet back on and begging scrooge for help while he just ignores her and fills up his sack. And while they both deserved it... Scrooge and Louie both recognize he was wrong as the flashback ends with Poe escaping and Magica sitll haven’t having found him to this day. And props to Catharine Tate here a she takes a normally hammy terrible person who was wholly unsympathetic and manages to make her painfully human.

What makes the act so terrible is not who it happened to, they both desrved it, but Scrooge’s attitude, utterly callous to magica’s pain with not a drop of sympathy. While she deserved it as did Poe.. he’s not doing this to her as some justice for her crimes, or because she did something horrible to him or any valid reason.. he’s doing it because he’d rather get more of her and poes gold than lift one finger to help someone who had , for all his evil, selflessly sacrificed himself for his sister. For all Poe’s evil and tyranny.. there MIGHT of been a good man in them, in both of them.. and Scrooge could’ve cared less. He shut the door on Magica ever becoming a good person, ever getting her brother back to line his own wallet and to satisfy his own ego. See that’s the true mark of a hero: how they treat others, even the worst of them. And in his lowest moment Scrooge could’ve cared less about anyone but himself.

Scrooge feels bad and Louie does finally get the responsibility thing and this is where things start to go off the rails: he apologizes to Doofus and admits he dosen’t want an enteral rivalry and h’es sorry for any pain he caused. The off the rails part is because Doofus is genuinely not a good person, ahs done very bad things and is trying to bankrupt Louie for the crime of “taking half your fortune after you used it to torment and enslave your own parents’. It just.. dosen’t play as well as they’d like. That said I DO like both Louie deciding to bury the hatchet instead of just avoiding him and Doofus showing some nobiity in accepting it. Maybe he’ll change.

He goes off into the night, and Scrooge genuinely apologizes and accepts repsonsiblity... and here’s where the plot finishing going off the rails and into someone’s living room: the bailiff AWARDS THEM SCROOGE’S FORTUNE BECAUSE HE ADMITTED SOME CUPLABLITY AND WAS HUMBLE.

This just.. it makes no sense, it will never not baffle me and it hurts my brain> Yes he admitted some wrong doing and apologized for it.. but it was also THROUGHLY proven the other two weren’t his fault, and he was simply being a good man which should get him some good. Thankfully the conclusion is a bit better, as Louie points out while they made him, he made you so who made who, who made you... okay i’m getting into the AC/DC of things point is these incidents all shaped Scrooge into a better person. His mistake with Magica. is clearly learned from. He’s stopping a group of bullies in Ma’s story and saving a life without a second thought in the second. He learned to value others, to value family all because THEY showed him what happens when you don’t. By seeing the worst person he could be.. he became the best. So the trial’s thrown out his assets are returned, and their teleported out before magica can hit them with lighting. Lesson learned.. well kinda Louie tells scrooge to do it because he got the pet.

Final Thoughts for The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck:

Great title aside.. this one is a mess. It’s not a terrible episode: the flashbacks are genuinely engaging, each one helping flesh out the villians and in Ma’s case pulling one last dangling plot thread. Glomgold’s was just entertaining , clevelry using his 80′s origns for an 80′s style news special and giving us the origin to his love of sharks that we didn’t know we needed., Ma’s tied up a loose plot threat with a fun flashback and Magica’s was genuinely heart wrenching and did the tall task of making us feel for someone that terrible. The wraparound.. was a bit weaker. Doofus was the best part, playing an excellent manipulative bastard lawyer, and being a genuine threat and his walking away peacefully was a nice touch, and Louie having to defend scrooge was great and showed him off better than ever. And Louie did get some moments to shine.. it was just wierldy bookened with him acting terribly AGAIN, in a way he should know better than in an episode where he acts fine for most of it and even then he thinks lying to a judge is a good idea! I know he’s 12 but he’s not this stupid and while as I made very clear i’ve seen this shit before, I haven’t seen it flip flop in the same episode. Louie deserves better than this.

But it’s also in service to a responsiblility aseop that just.. dosen’t work as presented. Yes you should take responsiblity for your past, yes you should learn from your mistakes and own up to them, I have, and yes it’s all too easy to slide back> That’s all fine.. but him apologizing to Ma, whose family was terorrizing a town, and Glomgold, who he did nothing to, and having Louie apologize to Doofus, who while he tried to exploit him still enslaved his own parents and deserved to loose half his fortune AND loosing half his fortune wasn’t even the main thing Louie wanted to do as his main goal was getting BOYD a loving family.. it’s bullshit. Just pure Grade-A bullshit. Why are you booing them their right. It’s a good idea for a moral but it’s executed so overwhelmingly poorly it bogs down what was otherwise an exceptional episode, into just passable. It’s just mind numbing and saddening to know the next to last episode wasted so much good ideas on a clumsy moral. Thankfully I have hope the finale will be better, and again at least we got some good out of this one.

Next Time: Endgame Baby! Clan McDuck and their Amazing Friends Vs F.O.W.L. for the fate of adventure itself! One last ride! I can hardly wait!

This week on the blog: Ducks Ducks and more ducks.. and a top 12 list of my faviorite superheroines later today’s for international women’s day. But after that we have more of the Della arc, the last step in the Lena arc before Shadow War next week, and the 87 ducktales pilot treasure of the golden suns!

If you liked this review, share it around, follow for more, and you can comission your own for 5 dolalrs an issue or episode, or kick in some money on my patroen, link on my blog. Even a dollar a month helps and my next stretch goal is 5 dollars away and if we reach it i’ll review both the super ducktales mini series introducing gizmoduck AND a darkwing duck episode a month. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure.

#ducktales #the life and crimes of scrooge mcduck #scrooge mcduck #louie duck #doofus drake #magica de spell #poe de spell #FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD #ma beagle #the beagle boys #disney channel #disney #ducks #uncle scrooge

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nickburn · 4 years

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Thoughts on the Oculus Quest and VR after One Week

Last week, I obtained an Oculus Quest, fulfilling a goal I had for this year of buying my first VR headset. I’ve been really interested in VR for years, and now feels like a great time to get into it, if you have the dough. Since I’m still fairly uncomfortable with traveling, I figured a headset would allow me to escape to faraway lands from the comfort of my studio apartment. The Quest in particular was enticing because, unlike most powered headsets, it doesn’t require a tether to an expensive PC or console. Now that I’ve had some time with it to explore the headset and some apps, I’d like to talk through my first impressions here.

The Oculus Quest

I got the 64 GB Oculus Quest through Amazon for $400, and I feel like it’s important to say that upfront. I recognize it’s a privilege just to be able to afford something like this right now, let alone have a decent job that allows for it. VR is not as cheap as it should be yet, but I think it will be within the next five years or so.

64 GB is plenty so far, and I can’t see the size limit becoming a problem for a while. Maybe once more premium apps like Half-Life Alyx hit the Quest I’ll regret it, but for now I’m totally happy with the smaller hard drive. The controllers are super comfortable and responsive, though figuring out left from right takes some getting used to, especially with something blocking your vision. But it’s easy enough once you realize that the second trigger is on the inside of the controller, so the wrong orientation will feel awkward. The device and controllers are very portable, if awkward to transport because of their shape and fragility. I expect I’ll have to purchase a carrying case for them sooner or later, but for now a backpack has sufficed.

The headset itself is truly a wonder. The four cameras on the front can create a live black and white feed of your surroundings so you don’t bump into things if you walk with it on, and they can even track just your hands for additional control options (currently in beta). The straps allow for easy size adjustments, and they’re tough enough that I don’t feel like they’ll wear down any time soon. There’s a slider for the lenses to adjust your viewing angle if things still look blurry, and the lenses themselves blend nicely into your vision, so you truly feel like you’re in another place with the headset on and running. The built-in speakers only heighten this effect, providing a surround sound experience in a small package. There are headphone jacks on the sides of the headset as well, but I haven’t had cause to use them yet.

The hub interface experience is fairly smooth, and you can choose your background environment for it from several thematic choices. Getting around the menus is easy enough, but it can be hard to know what to look for or even where to start. There are a few free demos, but after that you’re on your own to discover what’s best for you. Since VR is still so new to most people, I would like a little more guidance there, but I’m enjoying the process of discovering things for myself too. One nice thing is every game is listed with a comfort rating, so you know which are likely to give you motion sickness and which are basically 3D movies.

Beat Saber

It’s no secret Beat Saber is one of the most successful VR games so far, and it lives up to the hype. It’s a rhythm game where you have to slash at different colored blocks with the corresponding saber, in time with the music and in the right direction. You also dodge obstacles on occasion, either by leaning or ducking. This sounds simple, but it allows for a ton of different patterns and complexity. The best levels have really satisfying sequences to perform, and it does almost feel like conducting or drumming along with the music. The main campaign is surprisingly lengthy and difficult. At one point, it starts to require you to go against your instincts and mess up songs on purpose in order to not let your combo go above a certain number or to hit a required number of misses. I’m sure they were added to give the game some more mechanical depth, but I’m not sure they’re necessary. Fortunately, there’s also a solo mode and leaderboard where you can play any song you have access to on any difficulty you like. I haven’t bought more songs yet, but I suspect I will before long. Overall, this is an easy game to recommend and a must-play for anyone with access to VR.

The Climb

I’m a novice rock climber who hasn’t been able to go to a gym since March, so this game caught my eye. It gives you the experience of free soloing (climbing tall, long routes without a harness or other people) and bouldering (climbing very short but difficult routes, which is the style I prefer in real life). So far, I’ve only tried the tutorial, and I’m still working up the courage to go back. The game gives me a lot of vertigo and kind of freaks me out, as your character screams for their life whenever you fall (which, in the tutorial at least, will happen often as you learn the controls). Falling is a very real part of climbing, but if you’re doing it right, you should never get hurt. Free soloing is only really attempted by the most expert climbers, and even many of them die in their attempts. A better way to experience it though is through the Free Solo 360 VR documentary by National Geographic, which is free on the app store and thrilling to watch, just like the regular doc. I’m sure I’ll go back to this game soon, but I’m not sure how long it’ll take me to get used to falling in VR.

National Geographic VR

This game is very cute and allows you to play the part of a National Geographic photographer in Machu Picchu and Antarctica. So far I’ve only started the Machu Picchu route, but I really like it. Your producers tasks you with getting different shots, and you have several locations to choose from in each area. Not very deep, but the views are great.

Job Simulator

In Job Simulator, you play a boring, everyday employee for sentient, floating robot TV’s in a few different roles, and it’s awesome. There’s tons of physics objects to play with, which is definitely one of my favorite parts of VR. The writing is clever, the world is cartoon-like and inviting, and it’s much better than actual work. This is another game I’d strongly recommend for VR beginners like myself.

Netflix VR

As weird as it sounds, I like Netflix in VR. The TV in the environment seems much larger than the one I own in real life, so it feels bigger even though it’s virtual. I like the cabin setting and atmosphere, and it beats staring at my apartment walls. I was able to watch several episodes of Death Note in a row pretty easily, although the headset does start to feel heavy after a while. I wouldn’t say this is the ideal way to stream TV by any means, but it’s worth a try as a fun distraction.

Other Odds and Ends

I’ve dabbled with various other apps and games so far, as one does when one acquires a new electronic toy. I started the tutorial of Vader Immortal Episode 1, and it has you deflecting lasers and slashing robots just like a Jedi, so I’m excited to start that game properly. I was able to hook up my headset to my PC in order to try Google Earth, and it’s great. I don’t think my PC will be able to handle much else, however, so I’m thinking about upgrading it relatively soon. It is nice to know, though, that all you need to make the connection now is a USB 2.0/3.0 to USB-C cable. Until May, you had to buy a special $80 cable directly from Oculus, so I’m glad they removed that barrier. I still feel weird about Superhot in VR. I’ve tried it once before, and the demo still felt awkward to me this time. You have to be so precise in Superhot that dodging bullets while attacking and moving becomes really strenuous, and I don’t think the game really accommodates that well.

Next Steps

All that said, I’m looking forward to digging into all the games I’ve only touched the surface on as well as exploring new things. I’ll try to continue to document my thoughts here so you can all share in my journey with me. I’m coming to realize that VR time is separate from my regular gaming time, in that the experience is totally different. It’s not a replacement for the games I own already; it’s an expansion on a medium and still very new. But there’s something very freeing and magical about VR that comes with the masking of the senses and trickery that the headset provides. Very soon, within the next three to five years even, I think it’ll be much more commonplace.

Thank you for reading if you got this far! And let me know what comments or questions you have here or on Twitter. :)

#vr #oculus quest #video games #vacation ideas #beat saber #job simulator

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hellosaltysaladcollectionstuff · 4 years

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In the '80s and '90s, a lot of things were turned into cartoons. We saw a long list of animated shows based on live-action movies and more than a few that existed simply to sell toys. One interesting subgenre you might not remember, though, is when an animated series would age down an established set of fictional characters. All of a sudden, characters you were used to seeing as adults were portrayed as children on another show.

It happened more often than you may think and, honestly, some of the properties that did this to squeeze a little extra money out of their intellectual property may surprise you. At the end of the day, they all had something that made them entertaining enough to stick to the back of our minds.

Let's jump in the time machine and revisit 18 of the absolute best animated shows that age-flipped characters you knew and love--and maybe a couple you were downright terrified of. Also, make sure to check out our list of movies that were based on beloved cartoons. He-Man, eat your heart out.

1. The Tom and Jerry Kids Show

It's not that Tom and Jerry Kids was a bad show, it was actually pretty good. However, the most memorable thing about it is its fantastic theme song. The series also included a kid version of Droopy Dog, in addition to little Tom and Jerry.

2. Muppet Babies

This is easily the most beloved and iconic example of this trend. Jim Henson's Muppets were portrayed as babies when they became a cartoon--complete with onesies, baby talk, and a parental figure named Nanny that was only ever shown from the legs down. Muppet Babies is hands-down one of the best cartoons of the 1980s. What's more, the recent reboot on Disney Channel is also quite fun, even if it doesn't cast tiny versions of your favorite Muppets in movie franchises like Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

3. A Pup Named Scooby-Doo

This was another show with a very memorable theme, though it's a confusing one. A Pup Named Scooby-Doo first debuted in 1988, and yet its theme sounds like a doo-wop song from the '50s. Regardless, this show is a blast as a young Scooby gang hunts monsters and solves mysteries, and of course, feeds the titular dog Scooby Snacks to keep him motivated.

4. Flintstone Kids

Flintstone Kids was good, but what makes this entry on the list special is the show-within-the-show. Captain Caveman and Son were shorts that aired as part of Flintstone Kids. Originally, Captain Caveman was a character that debuted in the 1977 animated series Captain Caveman and the Teen Angels. On Flintstone Kids, he teamed with his son Cavey Jr. to fight the forces of evil. As for the little Flintstone gang themselves, that part of the show was also very fun, though you might remember it most for the public service announcements that aired during the episodes.

5. Tiny Toon Adventures

This one is, admittedly, a bit of a cheat. The kids on Tiny Toons weren't actually the kid versions of Bugs, Daffy, Taz, and the rest of the gang. It doesn't get much closer, though. Baby and Buster were clearly a younger take on the different sides of Bugs Bunny, while Plucky Duck has Daffy's temper, Dizzy was the spitting image of Taz, and Hampton was so close to Porky Pig it was scary. What's more, sometimes the classic Looney Tunes characters made appearances on Tiny Toons, seeing them team up with their younger proteges.

6. James Bond Jr.

This is another one that sort of works, but only if you stretch the premise a bit. James Bond Jr. was the nephew of James Bond and a spy-in-training and, along with his prep school friends, was fighting the forces of evil just like his infamous uncle. What you may not know, though, is James Bond Jr. has his own novels. The Adventures of James Bond Junior 003½ was first released in 1967, written by an author under the pseudonym R. D. Mascott. Interestingly, the actual author of the book has never been officially revealed, though several names have been theorized.

7. Baby Looney Tunes

First debuting in 2001, this is a much newer series than Tiny Toons. What's more, it actually delivers what you might have been looking for in that show--this is the actual Looney Tunes characters as babies, in case the title of the series didn't hint at it enough. This series essentially Muppet Babies, but with Bugs Bunny and friends. What's not to love?

8. Yo Yogi!

If you've actually heard of this one, congratulations. You're as nerdy as we are. Yo Yogi! debuted in 1991 and only lasted for 12 episodes. It was the most over-the-top version of the '90s you could expect, complete with a neon-colored makeover of Yogi's clothes. The series casts the bear and his pals--Boo-Boo, Snagglepuss, Huckleberry Hound, Cindy Bear--as 14-year-old crime fighters. What else would you expect these animated teen animals to be?

9. Jungle Cubs

Yes, Disney's The Jungle Book for the kid treatment, even though the main character in the movie is already a kid. This version doesn't feature Mowgli at all. Instead, the animals are all kids, living it up in the jungle. They aren't crime fighters of ghostbusters or anything like that. Instead, they're just friends hanging out. Oh, and we have to mention the theme song, a hip-hop version of "The Bare Necessities."

10. Clifford's Puppy Days

If you were a kid in the early-aughts, you might remember Clifford's Puppy Days. Before he was Clifford the Big Red Dog, he was Clifford the normal-sized puppy that wasn't a menace to keep and maintain.

11. The New Archies

Before Riverdale turned Archie and his friends into a Twin Peeks-flavored murder party of teenage angst, The New Archies made them little kids. The gang is in junior high and, well, not much else has changed. It lasted 13 episodes and was still the incredibly wholesome Archie Comics you knew back then before it went full-CW.

12. Sabrina: The Animated Series

The animated Sabrina series was a spin-off of the live-action version starring Melissa Joan Hart and featured the titular teen as a 12-year-old. She was still learning her magical ways and getting into all sorts of trouble with her spells. In this series, Sabrina is voiced by Hart's little sister, Emily Hart. However, the original Sabrina does play a role, voicing Sabrina's aunts Hilda and Zelda.

13. Camp WWE

What if WWE did its own take on South Park? That's Camp WWE, an animated series that's definitely meant for adults. All of your favorite WWE superstars, including "Stone Cold" Steve Austin, The Rock, and The Undertaker, are little kids at a summer camp run by Vince McMahon, his teen daughter Stephania, and her boyfriend Triple H? That's all you need to know about WWE. It pokes fun at WWE and professional wrestling as a whole, is filled with more adult language than you'd find on Raw or Smackdown, and it actually one of the most entertaining WWE Network originals.

14. Ewoks

Yes, this is real. There's honestly no telling how old the Ewoks are in Return of the Jedi. But who cares? In this Star Wars animated series, viewers follow a younger version of Wicket and his friends before the events of A New Hope and, for some reason, they speak English now. Originally, this series aired with the half-hour show Droids for The Ewoks and Droids Adventure Hour, otherwise known as the coolest one-hour block of TV you'll ever experience.

15. Iron Man: Armored Adventures

This is the most recent series on the list, but need to be pointed out. Iron Man: Armored Adventures followed Tony Stark as a teen Iron Man, alongside a similarly-aged Pepper Potts and Rhodey. If you thought Stark might have less of an ego as a teenager, guess again. Still, this take on Iron Man was entertaining and it managed to introduce a long list of popular Marvel characters--from Black Panther to MODOK.

16. The Mini-Monsters

So, The Mini-Monsters wasn't a show. It was, however, a segment within the animated series The Comic Strip. The segment featured the children of the classic Universal monsters, including Frankenstein's son Franky and the Invisible Man's son Blanko. It's utterly ridiculous, with a premise of a pair of siblings (one of which is voiced by Seth Green) being sent to a summer camp filled with the children of actual horror villains for a year. This is the oddest entry on the list, but one of the best.

17. The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show

While this is a list of cartoons that turned adult characters into children, it didn't always work out that way. In some cases, the process goes backward, and this is a perfect example of that. On The Flintstones, Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm were the kids of Fred and Barney, respectively. That series ended in 1966, though, with The Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm Show following in 1971. In that series, the two titular characters were teenagers, attending high school together and starting a band. What was the band called, you ask? The Bedrock Rockers. This sequel series only lasted 16 episodes, but it remains a cool idea that most cartoons won't dare touch. Bart Simpson has been in elementary school for three decades, and chances are that won't be changing anytime soon.

18. All Grown Up

This series also aged up popular baby characters. All Grown Up revisited the world of Rugrats. This time, though, Tommy Pickles and his friends were preteens and had more fleshed out personalities. It lasted five seasons on Nickelodeon, airing between 2003 and 2008.

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brendancorris · 6 years

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Rise of the TMNT initial review

I gave my first thoughts on the visuals, creative choices, and general backlash from the community for Rise of the TMNT, the latest cartoon for the Heroes in a Half Shell back when they were first unveiled. As some may remember, I generally was positive and supportive of the new direction. There were some changes I was a bit unsure about, but generally I was fine with it.

Now, five episodes have been released to the public, and I’ve watched a bit. So, I feel, since I’ve been a hardcore TMNT fan for about 29 years, it only makes sense that I share my thoughts for any who may care.

Before I get to my overall opinion of the show, though, I would like to go over each aspect individually. Let’s start with one of the most controversial topics - the art style and animation. I feel the need to once again highlight that they’re different things, as people always seem to forget this when talking about these topics. Animation is the movement exclusively. So, as for the art style, I like it. It’s very sharp, loud, and energetic. There is so much expression in the faces and bodies of every character. The action poses are wonderful. I especially love the expressions of Don. His eyebrows really add to his look, and his cocky, judgmental expressions add a lot of comedy to the character.

The designs are certainly different. Raph is ginormous, Leo has a fannypack, and so on. Honestly, I got over the designs very quickly. Again, the designs of the four turtles are extremely expressive, and it is nice to see so much variety between them for a change. As for other returning characters, Splinter will take some getting used to. Maybe if he didn’t look so much like a hamster I’d be fine with his design. I don’t really have a problem with his build, I just think that Splinter’s identifying long snout should have been in the design. But April, holy crap, I love this April design. She is so adorable. I was on the fence about her design originally, but once I saw her in action, it quickly became my favorite Rise design, only tied with Don’s.

As for the new characters, I have mixed feelings. A handful of the mutants have really cool designs, like Repo Mantis (my favorite), Hypnopotomus, and Meat Sweats. But then there’s other new characters like the lead villain, voiced by John Cena, who I just feel has a very generic modern cartoon villain design. He looks like a throw away villain in a comedy sketch parodying Saturday morning cartoons. I’m also not a fan of that catdog thingy April has. It looks like a Pokemon. Doesn’t belong in TMNT in my opinion.

But the animation is pretty gorgeous. It does get very choppy sometimes, which I honestly do find a bit disorienting since at other times, the animation is beautifully fluent and alive. I do wish the animation almost always stayed that fluent, but I understand how extremely time consuming animation can be, especially when working with such highly detailed characters, and considering that when the animation is fluent, it’s REALLY good, so I cut them a break. The action scenes are truly amazing to watch. The backgrounds are also very stylish, colorful, and just nice to look at.

While I do think the 2012 show was an amazing TMNT series, I did always find it a bit visually lacking. So I’m glad to see this one do the visuals so well.

Now, I guess I’ll talk about the writing, plot, and characters. As all of you likely know by now, we do not see the origin of the turtles or how they met April. While I can definitely understand why they would leave this out from a marketing standpoint (no reason to make a new TMNT show with limited episodes for preview and just go through the same story we’ve seen 100 times and give us nothing new to look forward to) I do hope we see it eventually. It is a pivotal part of the TMNT world, and is especially necessary now that this is a brand new TMNT for a whole new generation, and is reinventing the lore in many ways.

The show, obviously, is geared more towards smaller children, which I’m totally cool with. Not only did TMNT bring me a lot of happiness at that age, but I also like to see more franchises for kids. There seems to be a big push for cartoons to be more “adult” these days, but I still feel lots of them should be for kids. We live in an age where toys and cartoons are being primarily made for adults. Kids need media too, and TMNT has proved extremely popular with little kids for 30 years. The show still manages to be legitimately funny more than I expected, and, honestly, has a lot of wit and sarcasm that will likely only tickle the older audiences.

The story-telling is a bit all over the place and ultra-fast-paced, but it’s pretty good, again, with the child’s perspective in mind. It has a lot more action than I think most of us thought, and that is done really well. The characters, however, seem to be another huge point of controversy among the fans. My personal favorites so far are Don and April (yes, same two favorites as physical designs). Don’s such a smug brainiac and April’s so feisty and spunky, it’s adorable. But many things like Raph being the leader, Leo being the cool hot shot, and Splinter being seemingly a lazy couch potato, have a lot of fans in a frenzy. I will admit, Leo being a hot shot smart ass is still taking me time to warm up to, and Raph does feel odd as a leader. There doesn’t really seem to be any reason for the Turtles to have him as the leader other than the fact that he’s the biggest.

However, it does seem obvious that they are working up to something. The turtles, quite amusingly, are terrible ninja at the start of the show. They’re clumsy, inexperienced, and just horrible at making plans. There does seem to be a running theme of Raph’s plans being awful and Leo’s working. It does in fact seem like they are starting off more fresh, then evolving towards a more familiar setup. Even the presence of Foot soldiers implies the coming of Shredder possibly. And that brings me to my only real concern.

While I know this show is not being made for 87 shellheads like myself, I do kind of wish there was more TMNT material in the show. It seems to be trying as hard as it can to stray from traditional TMNT series that it could end up straying too far to the point of it being irrelevant to the franchise. I’m all for changes, all for new art direction, all for new characters, all for character re-imaginings, and so on, but it would be nice to see some returning aspects, like Shredder, Baxter Stockman, Rat King, Casey Jones, the Technodrome or some of the Turtles’ famous vehicles. I would absolutely love to see how Rocksteady and Bebop would look in this style too.

I’m a bit iffy about the episodes. I don’t think they’re bad, but the pacing in some is a bit all over the place, and one episode in particular seemed like a tired premise. The episode I’m referring to has the Turtles in a Chuck E. Cheese’s type locale with an evil animatronic bear coming to life and battling them. If this sounds familiar, you’ve either played Five Nights at Freddy’s, or, more specifically for my argument here, have seen the episode of Gravity Falls, “Soos and the Real Girl”. It was one of the most popular and funny episodes of the Disney XD cartoon, but it seems to be a premise that is continually done in modern cartoons. Just last year, the 2017 Duck Tales (which, although pretty good, I feel pulls a little too much inspiration from Gravity Falls) did a story involving a Chuck E. Cheese setting, and now Rise is doing it as well, with pretty much the same twist Gravity Falls did. While it is a funny premise, I do wish cartoonists would avoid doing it so often as it’s already been done successfully before.

So let’s get to the bottom of this. How do I feel all around? I think it’s pretty good. Like I said, it’s not my turtles, but my turtles had the entire late 80s and early to mid 90s already. It had its time, made me and thousands of other kids happy beyond reason, and made the franchise as big as it is today. It did everything it needed to do. I’m happy to see new generations get their own new forms of TMNT. I’m just glad that my favorite franchise ever is not only still relevant, but still a quality product, too. Simply put - I support Rise of the TMNT.

Still hoping we see some more classic characters and tech show up, though.

And pretty soon, yes, I’ll address a certain Netflix reboot of a series near and dear to me that has been making A LOT of noise on the internet lately. Until then, check out the available episodes of Rise if you haven’t already and decide how you feel about it.

#tmnt #Brendan Corris #BrendanCorris #Rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #teenage mutant ninja turtles #nickelodeon #review

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upontheshelfreviews · 6 years

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As a lifelong Disney fan I can’t understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me. In childhood, he was an icon and friend – instantly recognizable, a source of joy and entertainment, a hero and a role model. I know this is making me sound like one of those cheesy sponsors reading off a cue card, but when you’re talking about a mouse, expect plenty of cheese to be involved.

In the spirit of Mickey celebrating his 90th birthday, I’d like to share with you my 20 favorite shorts he starred in. Why 20? Because I couldn’t narrow it down to ten and I like to go nine steps beyond as opposed to one.

There were only two rules I set while making this list:

Mickey is the main focus, or at the very least he must be given as much to do as the other characters he shares the cartoon with. There’s a lot of great shorts out there that has Mickey’s name in the title – Mickey’s Parrot, Mickey’s Circus, Mickey’s Birthday, Mickey and the Seal, Mickey’s Christmas Carol, etc. – or has his face in the intro that advertises it as his adventure, but upon watching you find they’re really about Donald, Goofy or Pluto or literally anyone else but him.

Shorts only, no segments from full-length films or direct-to-video works. This means no Mickey and the Beanstalk from Fun and Fancy Free or various bits from Mickey’s Once/Twice Upon A Christmas, but sadly no Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia. I thought of excluding any short that ran over the usual length of five to seven minutes to about twenty, but that made my job even harder.

Now before we get to the countdown, here are a few Honorable Mentions:

Mickey, Donald and Goofy in The Three Musketeers – If I were including full-length films on the list, this would be in the top five, bar none.

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice from Fantasia – It would easily take the number one spot if it didn’t overlap with the #2 rule.

Plane Crazy – The mouse’s first appearance on the silver screen, though he wouldn’t make as quite a splash until his sound debut in Steamboat Willie a few years later

Orphan’s Benefit – One of my favorites as a kid. It made me laugh something fierce and still does, though a large part of it has to do with Donald and Goofy’s segments, hence why it’s only an honorable mention. Also, did you know that the color one we’re mostly familiar with is actually a remake of an earlier black and white version?

Mickey’s Delayed Date – Pluto and Mickey tussle for attention in this outing.

Haunted House – Spooky and atmospheric. Classic Disney nightmare fuel.

The Gorilla Mystery – Mickey plays Minnie’s white knight yet again as he goes to-to-toe with a dangerous gorilla.

Two-Gun Mickey – An American Tail: Mickey Goes West.

Mickey’s Surprise Party – After Minnie’s dog spoils the cookies she was making for Mickey, he saves the day with some shockingly transparent corporate sponsorship. At least I take comfort in the fact that Mickey’s favorite cookies are the same as mine.

Hansel and Gretel – Mickey and Minnie stumble upon a treacherous witch to the ominous strains of Danse Macabre.

Mickey’s Cabin – Mickey outwits Pete and his dimwitted cousin with a little reverse psychology when they hold him hostage in his winter cabin. Hilarity ensues.

Croissant – Mickey’s first short in the modern style proved you can’t keep a mouse on a mission down.

Yodelberg – Continuing with the previous short, it’s modern Mickey at its most fast-paced and stylish fun.

Shanghaied – It’s up to Mickey to save the day and Minnie again, this time from Pete and his dastardly crew of pirates.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol – Mickey’s first cartoon in 30 years has him slightly out of the spotlight, but still got him back in the public eye for good.

20. Mickey’s Trailer

This gets the lowest spot because the first half mainly focuses on jokes surrounding Donald and Goofy in their cool little mechanical trailer. But when it reaches the second half? That’s when things really kick into high gear. Goofy obliviously unhitches the trailer as they’re traveling through a perilous mountain pass and it’s up to Mickey to keep his vacation from reaching an untimely end. It’s amazingly suspenseful, with plenty of close calls from oncoming vehicles, trains and cliff sides. They still manage to sneak in a few decent moments of slapstick, but not at the cost of any of the tension. My only wish is that we could have seen Mickey and Donald’s response to Goofy’s cheerful “Well, I brought ya down safe and sound, a-hyuck!” at the very end. No doubt it would have been hilariously karmic.

19. Mickey’s Mechanical House

Coming from the Mickey’s Mouse Works/House of Mouse era of cartoons, we get a whimsical story in Seuss-esque rhyme, narrated by John Cleese no less. Sick of the inconveniences of his old abode, Mickey moves into a sleek totally automated house. He quickly learns, however, that easy modern conveniences aren’t what make a good home. Unlike the other cartoons made in this time, the art style goes for a 50’s retro look that pays homage to the likes of UPA. I especially appreciate the cameo from the iconic Mars robot from the famous Disneyland episode Mars and Beyond. That’s how you know this short was made by real old-school Disney fans. The story is charming, the gags are clever, and it earns this spot on the countdown.

18. Giantland/Gulliver Mickey

Yes, I know I’m cheating here due to this being a tie, but I found these two shorts to be similar enough that I felt they were both worthy of the same place on the list. Each one begins with Mickey telling a story to his…younger counterparts? Nieces and nephews? Godchildren? They all refer to him as “Uncle Mickey” and they all look like him so maybe they’re really…no, best not to think of the implications.

Anyway, Mickey makes himself the hero of each tale, firstly in the role of Jack in Jack and the Beanstalk (no doubt somewhat inspiring his future gigantic adventures in The Brave Little Tailor and Fun and Fancy Free), then of him being the giant washed up on the shores of Lilliput. There’s some good action all around, and plenty of creativity in showing the giant’s world, Mickey’s storytelling and how the Lilliputians attempt to subdue their captive.

17. Magician Mickey

Mickey’s putting on a magic show, but he’s constantly heckled by a disbelieving Donald. Little does the duck realize he’s messing with the Sorcerer’s Apprentice himself, and Mickey uses all his mystic powers to troll back at him. Even though it’s arguably Donald’s short as much as it is Mickey’s, he does provide the main source of the conflict, and Mickey does not hold back when providing some good old magical vengeance. He remains the perfect showman throughout, and the tricks he plays to get back at Donald are inventive and hilarious. I admit, I still crack up at the running gag where Donald attempts to go in one of his unintelligible tirades and spits out an entire deck of cards. Just goes to show you don’t mess with the mouse, especially when he’s in magician mode.

16. Steamboat Willie

Ah, the one that started it all. Well, technically it was Plane Crazy and The Galloping Gaucho, but Steamboat Willie was what really thrust Mickey into the limelight. It may be simplistic by today’s standards, but this short is nothing…short of iconic. It establishes everything you need to know about the character of Mickey Mouse – inventive, friendly, helpful, but not without a strong mischievous streak. Being one of the first cartoons to have fully synchronized sound certainly helps. It not only pushed the popularity of “talkies” but introduced the world to what would become one of the most recognizable characters of all time. How could I not include it on the list? I already wrote an entire article on its significance, so if you want to know more, feel free to go read it.

15. The Mad Doctor

When people talk about the darkest moments in Disney animation, there’s a reason why this short is often brought up. The Mad Doctor goes for straight-up horror, and pulls no punches. Mickey must work his way through a creepy castle to save his beloved dog Pluto before he becomes the next victim of the titular doctor’s dangerous experiments. There’s lots of shadows, spooky living skeletons, and booby traps galore that threaten Mickey along the way. It’s perfect fare for Halloween.

Without giving away the ending, it’s the kind I’d normally call a bit of a cop out, but I don’t see how they could have worked their way around it. This short was deemed so scary upon release that it was banned not only in the UK, but in Nazi Germany, which really says something. It didn’t frighten me that much when I was a kid, but there’s a pervading sense of dread that makes it unlike any other Mickey Mouse cartoon ever made. Its impact on the canon was strong enough that the Mad Doctor was made one of the main antagonists of the Epic Mickey video game. And getting to take him out after all these years is one of the most satisfying game moments you’ll ever experience.

14. Around the World in 80 Days

Now for something a bit lighter. Some of the best shorts made for Mickey’s Mouse Works and House of Mouse were the “Mouse Tales”, two-part adaptations of classic novels with Mickey and the gang filling in the roles. This is a simplified but still fun take on Jules Verne’s famous globetrotting adventure. Instead of a wager between high society gentlemen and a robbery caper mixup however, Mickey must circumnavigate the globe in order to claim an inheritance and save his orphanage. Goofy and a rescued native princess-turned-love interest Minnie (there’s no way around some of the more dated aspects of this story, is there?) help him along the way, but they also have to deal with a meddling Scrooge McDuck, who’d do anything to get his feathers on the fortune. They manage to squeeze in some great jokes, usually involving Mickey’s deadpan reactions to Goofy’s cluelessness. It’s a decent retelling that hits all the beats and will probably get kids interested in checking out the original story.

13. Ye Olden Days

Nothing like a good old-fashioned medieval romance to warm your heart. Humble minstrel Mickey attempts to rescue fair damsel Minnie when she refuses to marry foppish Prince Dippy Dawg – that’s Goofy’s early moniker to those not fluent in early Disney – and winds up engaging in a joust for her hand. Mickey and Minnie may not be the most fascinating couple in film history, but their earnest devotion to each other shows why their relationship has stood the test of time.

When I was rewatching this to see if it deserved a spot on this list, I was particularly impressed by how spirited Minnie was – she does not take her arranged marriage lying down, slapping the self-absorbed prince in the face while declaring “Never!” and fighting her captors every step of the way as she’s dragged to the tower as punishment. Plus, it’s her intervening on Mickey’s behalf that saves him from the guillotine and allows him to engage in trial by combat. Mickey, ever the underdog, uses his size and cleverness to his advantage, outdoing the prince in all his regalia with nothing but a spear, a suit of armor fashioned from a potbelly stove, and an intrepid donkey. I really don’t have anything to say other than this short’s simplicity and sweetness never fails to win me over.

12. The Pointer

An expertly animated adventure for Mickey and his loyal canine, even if the idea of the Mouse going hunting wouldn’t fly today. I just love Mickey and Pluto’s interactions; they remind me so much of me and my dog and the time we spent together (though let it go on record that I never have or most likely will engage in hunting for sport). This isn’t a case of the pet being smarter than the master like in future shorts, either. Those always aggravated me because of how they really dumbed down Mickey. Both are on equal footing here, and both get into equal amounts of trouble.

The moment where Mickey tries to talk his way out of an encounter with an angry bear is equal parts tense and humorous. It’s also one of the rare times I can recall Mickey attempting to use his own popularity to escape from a jam (“Well I’m, uh, Mickey Mouse! You know, Mickey Mouse? I hope you’ve heard of me…I hope.”) According to Andreas Deja, animator Frank Thomas incorporated a bit of Walt’s own actions while recording the lines for this scene, giving it a superb bit of what Thomas would call “the illusion of life”.

11. Lonesome Ghosts

Here we have another Mickey-Donald-Goofy venture with shenanigans surrounding the last two, but there’s enough of Mickey in there to make it count. Now tell me if this sounds familiar: a trio of oddballs, one smart if in way over his head, one irascible and sarcastic, and one delightfully naive, go into business capturing ghosts. And yes, at one point one of them says “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts”. It’s a shame Disney wasn’t able to capitalize on this fifty years later apart from syncing this short to the Ghostbusters theme in the DTV Halloween special. Lonesome Ghosts is a spooky jaunt where half the fun comes from the various ways the titular quartet of specters tease our hapless heroes. How the protagonists manage to send them packing kind of confuses me, but it still makes for a good chuckle. Steeped in atmosphere and loaded with laughs, Lonesome Ghosts is a ghoulish good time.

10. Mickey’s Good Deed

It’s Christmas Eve, and Mickey and Pluto are out in the cold with nothing but a bass fiddle that earns them barely enough to eat. A bratty rich half-pint sets his sights on Pluto and goes Veruca Salt on his father, leading to him offering Mickey a fair bit of dough in exchange for the dog. Mickey refuses, until he spies a poor widow and her many children even worse off than he is. This leads to him making a heartwrenching sacrifice to ensure they have a merry Christmas. It’s a short that runs the gamut of emotions. You feel for Mickey every second as he either loses everything he owns or willingly gives it up for a greater good, and there’s plenty of joy to be had when he gets his reward in the end (as well as when that terrible child is given his due punishment). I love watching this every Christmastime, and it exemplifies the giving spirit of the season.

9. Runaway Brain

You wanna know where that infamous image of a demonic Mickey came from? Well here ya go. Fast-paced, frightening and hilarious, Runaway Brain is a wild ride from start to finish. In some ways it feels more akin to a Looney Tunes short than a Disney one. The comic and story beats come right after another, yet leave room for sight gags and references a plenty. There’s even a brief shot that visibly homages The Exorcist. IN A DISNEY SHORT.

Borrowing from The Mad Doctor’s playbook, this time it’s Mickey who’s in a mad scientist’s sights after taking an offer for “a mindless day’s work” at face value, just so he could earn some vacation cash for Minnie. Said mad scientist, Dr. Frankenollie (love the nod there), voiced by Sideshow Bob himself Kelsey Grammar, switches Mickey’s brain with that of his King Kong/Frankenstein-esque creation Julius, who bears more than a passing resemblance to Pete. When the doctor is zapped into ashes by his own experiment – onscreen, mind you – Mickey, now trapped in Julius’ body, must find a way to get back to normal and stop Julius, stuck in Mickey’s form but no less monstrous, from pursuing Minnie. As I said before, the jokes come at you fast and hard. The climax in particular is especially rollicking, with some amazing lighting and coloring choices that pump up the action. As always, Mickey saves the day in the most entertaining – and in this case, bizarre – way possible.

8. The Band Concert

Mickey makes his technicolor debut in one of the first shorts that pits him against a troublesome Donald. All our stalwart conductor wants to do is perform a bit of William Tell for some music lovers in the park, but he’s consistently interrupted by Donald wanting to get in on the action with Turkey In The Straw and an improbable supply of easily breakable flutes. Still, you’ve got to admire both of them for their determination. I’d say nothing short of a cyclone could stop them, but that’s exactly what happens; the climax has them playing through the gale even as they’re hurled through the air! Considering the music they’re performing is appropriately stormy sounding, one has to wonder if they picked up their instruments from Hyrule. The Band Concert is a testament to Mickey’s unflappable perseverance and affinity for music.

7. The Little Whirlwind

Lured to Minnie’s by the promise of cake, Mickey agrees to give her yard a good cleanup in exchange for some dessert. Unfortunately, a playful sentient cyclone has other plans. I’ve never been bothered by Mickey’s voice, but this short shows how he works just as well silently. Much of the action is largely in mime with no dialogue. The slapstick is fun all around. I always did feel a bit bad that Mickey got the short end of the stick in this cartoon; after being tormented by the hellion hurricane, he’s pursued by a giant momma tornado who assumes her offspring was bullied for no reason, and when Minnie checks on his progress he’s blamed for the disaster area that was formerly her garden. I don’t know what the hell she was doing in the kitchen to not hear the two cyclones roaring through her yard but I hope it was worth it. At least Mickey ends up getting the cake – though not in a way he was certainly expecting.

6. Mr. Mouse Takes a Trip

Once more we witness Mickey’s loyalty to his equally devoted canine companion. A simple train trip to Pomona goes off the rails when Mickey must shield Pluto from dog-hating conductor Pete and both find themselves on the run from him. There’s disguises and mishaps galore, and it’s a constant back and forth to see who’s one step ahead of the other. Interesting fact: this short is also the source of the only known footage of Walt Disney recording his lines as Mickey.

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5. Symphony Hour

A spiritual sequel to The Band Concert, Mickey once again plays conductor for a classical orchestra made up of his friends. Unfortunately someone thought it was a good idea to leave all the instruments in Goofy’s hands before their big debut, and they’re quickly destroyed. Now poor Mickey has to keep everything together as the concert falls to pieces and their sponsor Pete fumes from his viewing box.

This short… it’s hysterical. There’s no other word for it. Everything from the animation to the music – which sounds like a precursor to Spike Jones – cracks me up. Mickey is pushed to the limits of his endurance as his show crumbles around him. Not helping matters is the attitude of the performers. Sure, Goofy, Horace Horsecollar and the like soldier on admirably, but Donald threatens to up and leave several times. Yet Mickey isn’t afraid to stoop to any level to ensure the show, no matter how terrible, will indeed go on. And the worse it gets for them, the better it gets for us.

4. Thru the Mirror

After falling asleep while reading Alice Through the Looking Glass, Mickey dreams of entering his bedroom mirror and exploring the bizzarro version of his world on the other side. Living furniture, card battles and jazzy dance sequences ensue. Out of all the Mickey shorts on this list, this is probably the best animated. The scenes stick out in your mind long after the cartoon has ended. The size-changing walnuts, the catchy tap dance starting with a game of jump rope with a telephone cord that evolves into a Busby Berkeley homage with playing cards, and the escape from said cards while traversing the dangers of a literal living room? It’s golden age Disney at its finest. There’s not much in the way of story, but that’s not the point of this short. It’s just great animation fueled by years of practice and boundless imagination.

3. Get a Horse!

I remember hearing way back when this short was announced that it was supposedly one from Walt’s heyday which was lost to the ages and recently unearthed. Little could we have realized that it was merely a smokescreen – instead of an old cartoon, we were getting the first new theatrical Mickey Mouse short since Runaway Brain, one that paid tribute to the classic Mickey cartoons of old.

Since I watched Frozen more than once during its theatrical run, I had the privilege of experiencing Get A Horse as it should be: in a big dark movie theater with eye-popping 3D. It gives the perfect illusion that this crazy cartoon with characters jumping in and out and running around the theater really is happening right in front of you. Mickey and friends play around with the screen and the dimensions contained within and with-out in a way not seen since Chuck Jones’ masterpiece Duck Amuck. And having seen many, MANY classic Disney shorts before (if this list hadn’t already indicated), I could even tell where many of the sound bites used for the characters’ dialogue were lifted from. I simply don’t get it when people dismiss this short for “mocking” old school Disney when in reality it does anything but. I think this short is the epitome of what Disney is doing now with their animation, blending the best of the old with the technology and promise of the new. Also, Oswald cameo for the win!

2. The Prince and the Pauper

Talk about nostalgia. I watched this short with the same frequency as my favorite Disney movies on VHS. In fact, due to having no sense of time when I was younger, I thought this twenty minute short was about the same length as those films; it certainly flies by at the same speed. Mark Twain’s tale of royal identity switching has seen its fair share of adaptations, but this one will always be my favorite. We’ve got riveting action and phenomenal voice acting (Wayne Allwine, you were the best Mickey outside of Walt and Brett Iwan can’t hold a candle to you).

It’s also one of the most dramatic shorts in the Disney canon. Pete is at his most menacing outside of Mickey’s Christmas Carol. Scenes like where Mickey attends to the king in his final moments and the prince learns of his father’s passing carry so much weight to them. They’re framed cinematically and let you take in the gravitas. Still, that’s not to say there isn’t any comedy to be found. The Prince and the Pauper has plenty of moments that still make me laugh twenty-eight years later. It’s a short that has everything. Easily one of Mickey’s finest moments.

1. The Brave Little Tailor

If I were to point to one short that summed up everything I love about Mickey Mouse, all you need to know about him, and why he’s so great, The Brave Little Tailor would be it.

Due to a simple misunderstanding, Mickey is thrust into the role of reluctant hero, one who must face down a killer giant no less. But if most of what the previously mentioned shorts have shown, Mickey’s nothing more or less than the perfect underdog. And when he gets into action, he’s like a cartoon blend of Chaplin, Keaton and Fairbanks – not a coincidence as the former two were big influences on early Mickey. Scared though he is, he rarely panics. Instead he relies on his greatest strengths to save the day – his quick thinking, nimbleness from his diminutive stature, and his loyal, caring heart. There’s a reason why I chose this particular thumbnail for this entry. No matter how many times I see this enamored incarnation of Minnie shower her champion with kisses, making him stumble around dizzily and cheerfully cry “Whoopee! I’ll cut ‘im down to my size!” I always, always go “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww”. It’s just too adorable for words. When you’ve got someone who loves you like Minnie does, you feel like you can take on the world.

I could go on about how the scene where he’s telling the story of how he killed seven with one blow (that’s flies, by the way, not giants) has been studied by animation students and enthusiasts to the point where Junction Point Studios aspired to recreate that level of expression and fluidity when creating Epic Mickey, or how Mickey defeats the giant has been homaged in other shorts as well as the airport fight from Captain America:Civil War, or just that wonderful storybook golden age Disney feel it has from start to finish, but I won’t. By all means, seek out the short and see it all for yourself.

No matter how many times the corporate side of Disney has airbrushed Mickey’s foibles to present him as the bland, perfect company mascot, Mickey’s bravery, kindness, and penchant for attracting trouble has never been fully scrubbed away. Different voice actors, animators, story writers and financial visionaries have come and gone throughout the years, and each has presented their own unique take on the character, but there’s no mistaking the world’s most famous mouse, the one who started it all.

Happy Birthday, Mickey. Here’s to 90 more.

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Thanks for reading! What are your favorite Mickey Mouse shorts? Share them in the comments and be sure to follow and check out my Patreon if you want to read more!

My Top 20 Favorite Mickey Mouse Shorts As a lifelong Disney fan I can't understate how much of an impact Mickey Mouse has had on me.

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carterashofficial · 7 years

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Thanks, Aearyn

@aearyn was so unbelievably kind to tag me for this

rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (ahaha no i wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy this took forever)

— what was your last…

1. drink: water. from the fridge. there might’ve been a dog hair in it because Scout and Abbey show their love through shedding. I didn’t care. 2. phone call: my old internship asking why I never got my w-2 form 3. text message: a coupon from World Market, if that counts. If not, i texted myself a spoiler for the kotfe fic so i don’t forget 4. song you listened to: Champion by Carrie Underwood b/c i love it and I NEED THE POSITIVITY 5. time you cried: UH... writing the kotfe fic. But i wasn’t actually crying. it was more like “im tearing up at this one scene b/c its breaking my heart”. Actual crying? been... so long i can’t remember.

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: ahahahhahahahahahaha.... ahahahhaha..... ahahahhahahahaha despite my best intentions, i’ve never dated anyone. I’ve been trying to change that. I want romance in my life. 7. kissed someone and regretted it: That would imply i’ve had my first kiss, and im 22 years old and still haven’t had it. APHRODITE WHY AM I SINGLE. I’M READY TO MINGLE 8. been cheated on: see above. Can’t be cheated on if you’ve never HAD A DATE 9. lost someone special: i would rather not consider this question, but Domino, Jewel, and my Grandma (all were very, very sudden and hit me like a bag of bricks). 10. been depressed: ha ha ha apparently i’ve had depression since i was 15. I was officially diagnoses in January of 2017 and have been on medication since. ahahaha 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no I can barely get drunk even when i try, let alone enough for a damn hangover. Seriously. I can drink like Carmadda and not get drunk.

— fave colours

12. soft eggshell green 13. the blue at the edge of the horizon 14. metallic anything

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: ........yes? i think? 16. fallen out of love: ahahahahaha no b/c i’ve never been in love (in the romantic sense and that’s how im taking this) 17. laughed until you cried: always 18. found out someone was talking about you: in the worst of ways 19. met someone who changed you: yes 20. found out who your friends are: oooooh yes 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: never been kisses

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: all? how else do people find you on there? 23. do you have any pets: many. Scout, Abbey, the neon tetras (named the Heralds of Zildrog), my various shrimp, and Corypheus and Valkorian the golden inca snails 24. do you want to change your name: no, but i used to 25. what did you do for your last birthday: went bowling 26. what time did you wake up today: i woke up 3 times, once to Bug getting ready for school, then my mom asking if i opened the vitamins, then... i think 9 was when i finally crawled out 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: playing swtor or looking up some fresh and funky memes 28. what is something you can’t wait for: finished the next kotfe fic chapter and breaking everyone’s hearts. Or the next major expansion of SWTOR. I NEED ANOTHER CINEMATIC TRAILER LIKE GODDAMN 30. what are you listening to right now: nothing my house is silent and in the far, far distance, sometimes i can hear cars on the toll road 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i have an uncle named Tom. I have spoken with him. So Yes. 32. something that’s getting on your nerves: socialization. I can only take so much around others. If I was a Sim i’d have the lonely trait. 33. most visited website: Tumblr or my school’s student login page 34. hair colour: blonde/brown im really smack in-between and i just dye it lighter to make it blonde enough for me to be blonde 35. long or short hair: long. so long. down to my butt long 36. do you have a crush on someone: not sure. i like him, he’s funny and thinks im funny, and teases me back, but im shit at reading signs and far too much a coward to ask him out. I’m not sure. I had a major crush in high school that resulted in me falling in love with a guy but we never offically dated and then he crushed my heart. Long story. So i try to avoid crushes lest i break my heart again. 37. what do you like about yourself: bitch im fabulous 38. want any piercings: i got 3 in the lobes of each ear and cartilage in the left. If i get any more I think my mom would have a heart attack 39. blood type: ??????? no idea. I know my sister is O 40. nicknames: Milky (only drank milk as a kid, but this nickname has sorta phased away). Other nicknames give away my real name. But I do respond to my sister’s name. 41. relationship status: single and ready to flamingle 42. sign: Aquarius 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv show: i literally can’t pick one b/c ive watched nearly every cop show on Netflix, including some that aren’t in english. All the cooking competitions i can find on Netflix and youtube, and im running out of TV to watch when i do art. Halp. 45. tattoos: Zero because my fatal fear is needles. 46. right or left handed: Left. left left left seriously i can.... maybe dip a french fry in ketchup with my right but that’s it 47: ever had surgery: wisdom teeth removed count? 48. piercings: 7 total in the ears and nothing else. 49. sport: I watch baseball and hockey (SPEAKING OF WHICH, GO DUCKS!). Used to play softball and some soccer. 50. vacation: if i can graduate a quarter early I want to go visit my family in florida and michigan 51. trainers: is... this british for shoes? i wear berkenstocks. only berkenstocks. because crocs are so comfortable but people judge. I also have hella wide feet where ever ‘wide’ shoes are too narrow. I can get by in Vans or my old old Nikes that i hardly ever wear

— more general

52. eating: whether or not if ketchup should go on it, ketchup is going on it. Unless if it’s breakfast food or desert. Breakfast food is my favorite and i could happily live off it it. 53. drinking: water, tea, juice, milk, Mike’s black cherry hard lemonade, monster energy drinks, RC Cola.... i drink a variety of things. Mostly water and tea. 54. i’m about to watch: i dont know I’VE RAN OUT OF THINGS TO WATCH ON NETFLIX 55. waiting for: myself to go out on a date and/or meet The Guy 56. want: many things. 57. get married: One day. 58. career: ssssssssttttttttttuuuuuuuuuudddddddeeeeeeennnnnnntttttttt

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: i want both but maybe not from the same people. 60. lips or eyes: depends what each are doing tbh 61. shorter or taller: taller b/c im short and can’t reach the top shelf 62. older or younger: older but at this point im 22 and a lot of my classmates are 21 so like.... my generation. 63. nice arms or stomach: arms 64. hookup or relationships: relationships 65. troublemaker or hesitant: depends. like really depends. I’ll probalby go with troublemaker b/c they tend to be funny and on-the-spot and im a planner.

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: never kissed anyone..... ha ha ha 67. drank hard liquor: so yes. 68. turned someone down: ahahahhahahahaahaha haha ha. Actually yes I got asked to homecoming my senior year by this one dude who still gives me the creeps jsut tihnking about him. I politely said no. 69. sex on first date: never been on a date, never kissed anyone. Never ‘done the deed’. Would not do on the first date. 70: broken someone’s heart: uh my mom’s when I told her I had Depression and wanted to kill myself all throughout sophomore year highschool 71. had your heart broken: oh. Yes. 72. been arrested: no 73. cried when someone died: more like wailed loud enough that half the dorm floor heard 74. fallen for a friend: *side-eyes my sister* yeeees

— do you believe in

75. yourself: it varies over what. 76. miracles: I mean.... to an extent. 77. love at first sight: no 78. santa claus: I AM 22 YEARS OLD of course 79. angels: its complicated. my mom found a dead rat in our old house’s garage when i was 4-ish and all i remember crying for the dead rat when my dad tossed it in the garbage. My mom explained that an angel had already taken the rat’s soul to heaven. What did I picture the angel as? A carrot, wearing a tie, with mickey mouse-esque white gloves carrying a rat dramatically. This still haunts me.

— misc

80. eye colour: blue enough that you might drown in the ocean 81. best friend’s name: @athenascrown 82. favourite movie: if you think I can pick only one you’ve got another thing coming. but.... any star wars movie. If i had to pick one, Empire Strikes Back or Phantom Menace or The Last Jedi.... or Rogue One.... or Revenge of the Sith... 83. favourite actor: The guy who played the stormtrooper who hits his head on the door in Ep 4 84. favourite cartoon: the old Ducktales was a childhood favorite 85. favourite teacher’s name: I don’t want to put her name out here but she was my art teacher all through high school and she is one of the kindest souls ive ever met and if it wasn’t for her, i wouldn’t have gotten back into art

because this post took 5ever im not tagging anyone but if you want to do it, just say I tagged you and I’ll say i did

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quiescentem-puella · 7 years

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Some thoughts about the Ducktales reboot

People who know me will not be surprised by this. And by this I mean a 1000 words essay about a cartoon.

I’m passionate about Disney. Sue me.

I’ve got strong feelings about the old Ducktales. And when I say strong feelings I mean that when they announced a reboot, I was weeping with joy and simultaneously got ready to kill and slay everyone who didn’t do justice to this pillar of my childhood.

After the first episode, I wasn’t that satisfied.

It wasn’t bad per se, but in comparison to the adventures I remembered from my childhood it was bleak, insipid. There was a lot of potential and I liked the aura of mystery around Scrooge and Donald relationship, but it wasn’t enough to cover the lack of real adventure. The humour was there and it was good, mind you, but it all felt so downsized compared to the hype that had grown in me after the first news were released.

From then on, it all went downhill.

I don’t know what the writers were aiming at. Actually, that’s a lie: I perfectly understood their purpose. The point was to introduce all the characters in the first episode and then explore each one of them, concentrating on one duck or another according to the episode. It wasn’t necessarily a bad idea but for me this direction contained one big, unforgivable flaw: Scrooge McDuck was relegated to a supporting character.

I understand that children nowadays are more interested in seeing movies, books and cartoons where the protagonists are like them; it is expected, supported even. We are talking, however, about Ducktales. In the old series the nephews were marginal, indistinguishable from one another, and the real protagonist was Scrooge freakin’ McDuck – the richest, boldest, sharpest duck in the world. He was the one leading the team, the one you were really interested in, because everyone else was a sidekick, a supporting character.

So the first episode was okay, but nothing extraordinary. The second ("Daytrip of Doom!") and the third one ("The Great Dime Chase!") were fun, but I hated the absence of Scrooge in the former and the way they warped Gyro Gearloose’s character in the latter. I found "The Beagle Birthday Massacre!" bad, but not cringe-worthy. And then. The Bad One. The unforgivable offense to the old Ducktales, to Carl Barks and to every single Ducktales’s fan.

The episode titled "Terror of the Terra-firmians!".

I will never forgive the producers and the writers for this felony. Never. “Terror of the Terra-firmians!” could have been acceptable if the show was an original, written from the scratch, but this was not the case. I had great expectations for this one – we would finally see a Barks’ adventure, the old uncle and his family working as one against (or even together with) the Terries and the Fermies. I didn’t care about the background story. I did not care if it was their first encounter with the creatures or if Uncle Scrooge and Donald had already met them. I didn’t care one single bit if they would encounter them because they were investigating the mysterious earthquakes that put the Money Bin in danger or because they dissolved their way through Terry Fermy with Gyro Gearloose latest invention. I did not care, not at all. All I wanted was a family adventure, rich with easter eggs from Barks’ works.

Alas, something entirely different expected me. What I got instead was a journey of self-discovery for the nerdy, checklist-obsessed nephew that only wears red (you didn’t expect me to actually remember their names, did you?) and a punch line that relied entirely on the fact that nobody would care so much about terra-firmians, but everyone would be delighted to discover they were just like us. Except rounder and made of rock.

The punch line wasn’t intrinsically bad. It made me laugh actually! But the entire episode completely betrayed what I was expecting – a Carl Barks’ story – and left me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

If I had concluded my experience with the Ducktales reboot here, on such a bad note, I wouldn’t have recommended watching it to anyone. “Sure, it’s a fun way to pass some time, but nothing like the old show” I would have said, deep of regret and sorrow (and yes, I would have been that dramatic). The reboot had disappointed me greatly. I did not have a reason to go on with it.

And yet, I persisted. Maybe it was nostalgia, maybe it was because I love Uncle Scrooge and Donald Duck too much, maybe I was simply bored. Fact is, I watched the following episode.

And boy, was I overjoyed.

"The House of the Lucky Gander!" is everything "Terror of the Terra-firmians!" was not. It’s fun and fast-pacing, it has Scrooge, Donald, the nephews and Webby all together, Gladstone and Launchpad are also there and it’s good. We see every nephew being characterized but without it being boring or damaging to the plot; there’s a wonderful contraposition between Donald and Gladstone but without antagonizing the luckiest duck in the world; there’s action and suspense.

There’s one thing that the reboot did it better than the original and it’s the character of Donald Duck. Mostly absent in the 80s series, Donald gets his chance to shine in the sixth episode by being the usual unlucky, short-tempered fellow with an heart of gold and a penchant for never giving up. "The House of the Lucky Gander!" is not only a great adventure with a supernatural twist, but also a sweet payback for all those times where Donald Duck was ignored.

It’s not only his strengths we get to see. Even when uncle Scrooge doesn’t have a vital role we get to see his most cunning, sly side and the few moments where he’s the protagonist are great.

"The House of the Lucky Gander!" has it all: adventure, gags and some sweets moment between the characters.

From that point onward the episodes get better: “The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks!” is fun and has a great rhythm while “The Living Mummies of Toth Rah” is silly in a way that makes you laugh instead of cringe.

It’s crazy how a single episode changed my opinion on the reboot so drastically. Maybe it’s only me, maybe others didn’t find the sixth episode to be so good, but if you ask me my opinion about the new Ducktales I’ll tell you this: watch it. Until at least the sixth episode.

#ducktales #ducktales reboot #ducktales 2017 #scrooge mcduck #donald duck #gladstone gander #huey dewey and louie #webby #launchpad mcquack #david tennant as scrooge is a gift #house of the lucky gander #terror of the terra-firmians #carl barks #ire's rants #review #I guess #rant

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whyldkratts · 7 years

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for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

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20thcentutygeek · 7 years

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90s Cartoon theme Songs

I grew up in the 90's. By the time my little eyes and ears could comprehend what they were being subjected to, the era of mad animation had already begun. The 1990's were a colourful time, from the acid induced dance music to the sugar and additive-laden neon sweets and drinks. Luckily the animated shows we were given were no different. Accelerating from the successful franchises of the 80's, most of which made money from the toy and merchandise tie-ins, the animation of the 1990's seemed to blast full speed with style, irreverence and a no holds barred approach to the premise of new shows. But no matter which show you loved the most (or simply just watched because you didn't have anything better to do while you eat refreshers and drank panda pop) the first and most resonating taste of a cartoon is its theme. And the 90's gave us some wonderful themes. *Be warned, if you begin looking up some of these themes on youtube it's very likely you will succumb to the endless black hole of intro's. Just as Scott and I did.* The list of catchy choruses, magical melodies and bouncing bass lines are endless. I have a special affinity for theme songs. There is something potent about the tiny snapshot of music purpose-built to set the tone of a show. Each one is like a 30 second score, encompassing the feel, the energy and often the premise of the show to come. Those of you who have stepped foot in Super Shakes will probably have noticed a handful of themes in the shop playlist (In between copious amounts of Seal). So if I took the time to go over every jingle that puts a smile on my face then this would be an incredibly long blog. [Though honourable mentions go to any theme without lyrics such as Doug, Rugrats, Ren and Stimpy; and to superstar composer Danny Elfman] For the purpose of time and sanity I'll instead present to you 3 observations during my time in the infinite back-to-back session of intro videos. So if you are simply a curious party or are in the process of creating your own authentic sounding 90's theme song, keep these in mind. Rule 01: 90's keep it brief Apart from the quality of the animation and the steady decline of muscular He-Men, a new trend also occurred - swifter intros. Just as every comic is somebody's first, the same applies for cartoons with their self contained stories and repeatability. Because of this many 80's shows began with an intro that was in itself a prologue, as is the case of the hilarious and infectious opening to Ulysses 31. [Check it out here - https://youtu.be/OZ4c1X5ene8 ] But once we past the invisible decade barrier, things start to get more straight to the point. Maybe it was because the old style was beginning to feel tired, maybe it was to simply shave an extra minute and a half off the total run time. There is a good chance that it was because as we merged into the era of lunacy and (Ani)maniacs there was no story structure. "Mama had a chicken! Mama had a cow! Dad was proud, and he didn't care how!" Enough said. Rule 02: Ducks have Soul The musicianship behind theme tunes is often passed by. Since most of the themes are over and done with in 30 seconds, a lot of these gems and respective artists don't get to become as recognised as the 30 seconds (or less) of effort that goes in to most modern pop songs. And although there were many thematic changes to soundtracks as time progressed including Guitar riffs getting more fiery and saxophones (unfortunately) dissipating, one trend I did notice was that shows with ducks had a passionate theme that few competed with. Lets begin with Duckula (Which began in the 80's but waddled into the Nine-zero's). Beginning with a dark and spooky backstory and blackened images, all is blasted away once the vocals burst in. I get the impression if the theme was a minute longer we would have some glass shattering vibrato on our hands. At several points there are moments when it is as if the microphone they used cant actually handle the singing. Kudos to the composers for making the very silly premise of this show get glossed over by the energetic theme. From Duck vampires to Duck crusaders, namely DW - Darkwing Duck. This Noire-styled big-billed master of surprise had a hearty theme too. In order to even attempt to replicate the pipes on this performer you have to fill your lungs first. You can just hear the force in their voice as they repeat the title of the show, to the point where when the second verse comes in the whole song seems muted in comparison. But so do many things after you listen to this theme a few times, its hefty. Then in 1996 as if there weren't enough rich vocals and duck centred animations; along comes The Mighty Ducks. Not the rousing live-action family comedy starring a handful of young actors (Including the future Foggy Nelson from Daredevil sporting virtually the same haircut). This is jacked up, colourful, anthropomorphic ducks playing hockey, and the theme is just as mighty. The entire song seems to be shouted and the eager singer can barely get the first sentence finished without adding some vocal flair. The incredible intensity of this theme leaves no doubt about the final statement "Ducks Rock!". This correlation between bombastic birds and soulful songs doesn't end there. A post millennium show Duck Dodgers has a theme performed by none other than world renowned welshman Tom Jones. And if thats not enough, need I mention one of the the most catchy themes of all - a Tale of a rich Duck who famously dives into his vault of Gold coins? I'm sure you can hear it in your head already. [If not click here to develop a tick that makes you "Woo-Oo" impulsively anytime you hear the title of the show - https://youtu.be/9DXo5haNd9M ] Rule 03: Repeat the title as many times as possible It goes without saying that if you want someone to remember your brand, you need them to remember the name. It's quite possible this marketing tactic was discovered in the late 80's. Pick 5 cartoons that ran in the 90's, and sing the theme. (Feel free to do it in your head if you don't want to look like a Freakazoid at the coffee shop). I'd bet that you said the title of the show at least 3 times. Yes it's intended and yes it almost seems silly once highlighted (Try the theme game again with 5 HBO shows; it's very different. I'm betting on 0), but it also puts a recognisable time stamp on our cartoons, a loveable paradigm of silliness. This may have most memorably begun with a group of adolescent-genetically irregular- Japanese covert martial arts practicing-amphibians. Yes Leo, Donnie, Mikey and Raph's unquestionable chant, which although formed in the late 80's ran deep into the hearts, minds, and dreams of 90's kids everywhere. Brought to life by the mastermind of mindless repetition Chuck Lorre (See Two and a Half Men & Big Bang Theory - J-Man), who may have unintentionally begun a more overt tradition for shows created afterwards. Notably Earthworm Jim, W.I.L.D Cats, Hey Arnold and Rocko's Modern Life all follow the formula that shouting the title is key to a good theme. You can see this method working in the Spider-Man cartoon series (Theme co-written by Media Mogul and Power Rangers creator Haim Saban). The words are repeated to the point that the synthesised vocoder chanting goes askew into saying Spider-anything. It's almost as if the singer was exhausted or Joe Perry(Of Aerosmith)'s face melting guitar was tiring them out. I used to think that at one point he was saying Spider-Glider in reference to hobgoblin showing up on screen, but it works for any word you can cram into those syllables. Spider-pamphlet. Spider-burger. Spider-spleen. You get the point. And as if to prove that the musicians and melody makers behind all of these knew what they were doing - See Exhibit B - Bucky O' Hare. The action packed, detailed crammed opening doesn't forget to add the secret sauce; the name Bucky O' Hare is mentioned various times as are most of the other characters. But as we reach the end there is a very self aware moment where after definitely screaming the name several times one vocalist asks the other "Did you say Bucky?" as if they have a quota to fill. Without a beat his colleague replies "I said Bucky." and they both harmonise for a final "Bucky O'Hare!". This not only adds another few name drops to the counter but is a wonderful little giggle at themselves and the absurdity of their job. To sum up, Memory can be measured by recall, recognition and relearning. With the constant barrage of names and vivid images drilled into our heads several times over before we have even seen the show - our capability to recite, recognise and build on our knowledge may explain why 90's shows and their themes were so (literally) unforgettable. - J-Man

(@TheMindofJMan)

#History #Reviews #music

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nelsonsledge · 7 years

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Hopefully get the ]aS[sist with pats and handshakes of the S.Green and BlessedD by McFarLandERs crew to take on those big bad data hoards of hidden monopoly monsters in the attic,the cellars and Hey Carol Berrnet, can you get the dustpan out of the hidden good riddance closet company, those under the rug sweeping package deal-e-O , find a sewer,find a leak, find the little god and dam em'all so one day we may be able to sleep in peace without the horse head found in a poor mans bed, with color crazied observers waiting their turn to deep freeze their own heads for future-Roma dunce shelving, next to their favorite dead presidents, what a tall drink of water, the hippie hip of fresh, and who needs to breath on Mars anyway, haven't they seen Arnold's , Hey Around (cartoon btw) how'dD your eyes feel after you got sucked out that Mission Two Mars, throw the mutant out the window, oh what, wait he is one of ours, nobody likes the other guys color red for catch-up, Hunt for something intelligent out there first before you bother opening that door markED d-Secret stash of Pandora and her that's Incredible Show by choice, or force, by dreams or those Hunts while sleeping Deeper in REM version of TommyBoys and Girls all watch the ball and sing a long, hey JOE, where are you going with that... It's a Jimmy thing in your hand, fix the ball that doesn't bounce, or be a better aim with the Nerf BB gun bully bullets with butterfly wings in Malaysia, that grrrreat, find me another Tiger for Tony, we are leaving the big aA 4 Montana, getting all the good dads on file, and we are going camping, shipping in like Ellis Island a game reserve, tagging predators with Chips, have me holding Swiss cheese signs reading To New York (Tony), badD guys are forever named Tony's uNo, unless they are Grandfathered Inn, Escapes a Far Cry after paranoia plays havoc with insiders trading listSinER, for get about it, smile your on candidate candid camera, with A World gone crazy, and family Funtime is lacking, after schools demanding the united to sit down with the kids and let them teach you what they did learn in school, every home no longer a gun but a stick, a bigG stick worth a full 316 bald guy inspired Austin TX. Your welcome, last stand, attention pleas, who ever gets the history lesson questions right before 3 strikes get a 10min Rampage with full screen HD envy the rest, the new and improved SORRY mad-e by POPS with a little love from Sam the Uncle, and the Butcher Too. Feeding the hungry Yogie Bears of the Rockys and any other don't get lost out there, family fun night alternating and mandatory, like the census or taxes, Neison rates the statistics and AOL digs deep in those lost and found, B-ing gets the S-Wing while Yahoo! Gets firsts dibs after the from this point on moral fabric of the Matrix gets all calls and filtering powers MSN gets to go darker than Dark after hours, Jeckle gives Hide the ok to Seek in the forbidden areas of commerce, spy vs spy gets grey and redrawn by daybreak the lines of right vs wrong, this vs that, who get to purge, who fasts til the neXt night time showing, Rodger the Rabid Rabbit shows Rodger More secrets then any pre-or post double 0's ever wanted to know, Redefined Epic spoofing of SpyHard get a legit static stasis, absurd becoming relevant , idiots getting FaceTime on NotFOXYenuff trilogy enuff realizes finally that it could never be... enough. Bob cat Screams "Hey You Guys" Bane is the Hero that says nothing in anticipated camE-O-S and Martin Larance sound bite starts it off, "WELLCOME TO HELL BITCH" Little Suzy gets the Uzi, and mom and dad flip. for drone cone control. And somewhere in real time, Bill Mare is Shaking his head in disbelief, as he is ask to guest star as Host to Host , Mike to Ike and Space Ghost drops the Mic on the Sprint vs Verizon cage match at the center of the black and white, fine print fair or festival, live and let die fine line ? About %and Y set up, upgrades and Southpark is the best way to feed you family the GoodBadUgly truth, in the next episode of this is you life, brought to you bye the letter ((•Y•)) & U , F-like andDdick crashing always everywhere every time, Y-K"not" You A Funny Guy Co U Sin Vinnie , What happened to Spider 🕷, you hate bugs I know, rats even more so, moles are not voles, get an enPshcoLaPeezDeeAhhh Webster get of MJs lap, you way to old you know better , exceptionalism's will be considered in drawning the weekly contestants from the official offensive offenders list. Shock and aweSHIT will be redefined by the best that no money can buy. Droned head start programs will be offered free at your local anaconda or library. Futures so bright, a little birdie told me, whistled actually so absurd 80s tune not picked in the GTA soundtrack anyway, Gotta Ware Shades, n0 respect, Tall and Fat , help me Rodney Dangerfield, (BACK TO SCHOOL) can I keep Pauly , got some things in the basement I gotta figure out, sickining me something awful, perhaps if I could go beat some carcasses, frozen side-shows of Moo-B's Ink. Dance to the aAbBcC's on the rooftops with the cast of friends and Kevin Smith and get the kick in the as by a better human then most, AMY the mars cat will help Arnold put his eyes back in his head, red blinders won't be all seen in the end of show, tantrums will fade out to a happy toon , maybe classical and instrumental versions at a slower role/ tempo Sunday Monday happy days, Tuesday Wensday happy days trursday Friday happppy daze SATERNDaY what a day got some ring for you... Ohh Henry / winkler vs Rolland's (Cane vs Able) Netflix playing he didn't die, I believe u&i..DK

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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House of Mouse: The Stolen Cartoons Review (Patreon Review)

Hello all you happy people! It’s Patreon Review Time. Since my 5 dollar or higherr patreons get 1 review a month, Kevin my 10 dollar patreon is using one of his to celebrate the 20th anniversary of House of Mouse by having me review a random episode a month. And for this month we’re going all the way back to the start with The Stolen Cartoons!

I already introed house of mouse back when I reviewed “The Three Cablleros” episode but for a refresher: House of Mouse is a 2001 cartoon about Mickey and Co running a club. Mickey is host, Minnie plans the show and runs the books, Donald tends to the VIP”s and co owns the club with Mickey, Goofy is head waiter, Daisy runs guest services, Horace is technical support, Clarabelle is a gossip monger with no clear actual job, and Max is Valet. The show was used to repackage shorts from the short lived show Mickey mouseworks, using the club setting as a wraparound and said club was attentend by all the various characters from the disney canon. It’s as awesome as it sounds.

The voice cast, which I didn’t intro thorughly last time, was equally awesome with all the actors for the characters at the time, all legends in the industry. Wayne Allwine as Mickey,who played the character from the late 70′s to his death, Russi Taylor as Minnie and the Triplets, who did the same and was also married to wayne, Tony Anselmo, who should be thorughly familiar to readers of this blog and donald duck fans as his voice since Ducktales, Voice Actress Tress Macneile as Daisy, likewise, Jason Marsden as Max and Voice Acting Legend Jim Cummings as Pete. All except Allweine i’ve profieled before on this blog in various other series, but Wayne, outisde of a very minor role in black cauldron, only voiced Mickey, and to me is the defntiive voice for the guy, though Chris is getting close.

The other notable members of the cast i havent’ covered are April Winchell, who while tremendous, I will save for an episode Clarabelle is actually in more, and Bill Farmer. I have a great amount of Love for Bill and like everyone here, he was a vertran of the industry by the time he showed up in this series. His defining roll far and away is goofy, who was, to my delighted surprise his FIRST voice audition, having studided PInto Colving’s voice well to the point you can barely tell the difference between the two, and having inherited the roll around the same time as Russi and Tony. He’s the voice of Goofy I and most kids from the 80′s onward have grown up with and is the best at the roll by far, having chances for depth and nuance Pinto wasn’t allowed with the Goofy Movies and other works. IN general he’s just THE goofy to me. He’s also the voice of horace and pluto, and currently voices Hop Pop in Amphibia which is super noteworthy as looking at his filmography like a lot of the sensational 6′s va’s he’s only voiced goofy or Pluto for most of his career. But hey like Tony, if you only do one charcter might as well be the fucking best at it. He also has a show on Disney Plus with him and dogs I need to watch yesterday.

So with our cast out of the way, and not much history to go into, join me after the cut and we’ll see how House of Mouse got it’s start and if it was a good one.

Breaking from my usual format for House of Mouse and doing the shorts as they come up int he main story for two reasons: The first is that the shorts are integral to the plot and the second is that there’s way more main story this time around than usual, likely to properly set things up.

So we open at the House of Mouse with Mickey Adressing the club and showing off the general premise of this being a club for all of the various heroes and villains of disney to hang out and what not. He also presents the house rules which are no smoking (Fair and should’ve always been a thing), no villianous schemes and no eating the other guests, all helpfully demonstrated as he says them. We also get to see the others in action: Minnie handling the schedule and the crew, Donald welcoming the guests, and Daisy running the desk and getitng brainwashed by Jafar into giving him a table. Max also is providing his job as Valet which surprised me because I genuinely thought he didn’t join the cast till season 2.. despite the fact he’s right there in the credits.. which are the same for ALL THREE SEASONS.

So things are going well.. so naturally that’s when Pete shows up to try and ruin things. Look he’s having a hard time after the divorce.. several years ago. Okay maybe he’s always just been a dick and that’s why he’s divorced in the first place. Point is he naturally wants to shut the club down, boot them out, and wreck up the place like any natural cartoon villian or real estate scum bag landlord. Pete just happens to be both because he can multitask. .and because it’s basically the same thing you just have to be animated for one of them. Thankfully whoever the previous Landlord was, i’m going with Shere Kahn given the setting, his roll in tailspin and the fact the obvious candidate, scrooge, would make no sense here given a later episode where he guest stars, wrote into the contract that as long as the show goes on, they can stay in business. Pete stews over this and naturally plans to stop the show while Minnie, in a cute bit, comforts a nervous mickey and just tells him to play some cartoons. So...

Pluto Gets the Paper: Wet Cement and Donald’s Dynamite: Magic Act I”m covering both of these at once. But as I said the animated shorts this time are one big sized one and two of the shorter ones to make more room for the story. Which is fair: this is the first episode, and thus needs to set up the premise. The series isn’t story driven but your first episode should still feel like one, ease you into the world and get you situated and THEN can do the normal format. It’s also in the episode’s favor as the heavier story focus meant a BETTER story than most season 1 episodes, on par with the two season 3 episodes i’ve covered so far.

The shorts themselves are fine. So far this is the only Pluto Short i’ve liked as it has a neat enough gaga: Pluto has to get the paper in wet cement. Why did the paperboy throw it in wet cement instead of in the driveway, I dunno but given this short is well.. short and just meant to deliver on some quick gags, I’m not going to question it. It’s the first Pluto short i’ve covered without any dog sexual harassment, i’m not looking a gift dog in the mouth.

The other short short played right after is part of a series where Donald ends up trying to get rid of a round bomb that shows up wherever he is....

It’s pretty damn funny, though being a huge Donald fan i’m obviously biased, but even removing my donald duck brand sunglasses, I will concede this was objectively fun.

But the cartoons stop as, true to the title, they’ve gone missing! Horace is found tied up, the cartoons are gone and Pete is obviously responsible. and hilariously so as the rope has his name on it and he says “I don’t know horace horsecollar” There are a LOT of good gags in this one, i’m leaving a lot out for time’s sake.

So Mickey and Minnie come up with a plan: Mickey sends the.. Quackstreet Boys.... to stall. Now it may shock you but I actually LIKE the backstreet boys. Not to an extreme amount but I did grow up with them, and even now find their music pretty damn good. No my issue is this parody is weak, mostly running entirely on the title pun. The most I can give them credit for is using the outfits from their second album cover. No I wasn’t kidding I did grow up with them. You saw that everywhere so even if I didn’t enjoy their music then and now, i’d know it. But it just feels really weak, like they had no idea what to DO with the boys and instead just slapped them in a lame parody. It dosen’t help i’m not a fan of the classic version of the boys outside of the comics, as I feel later productions should’ve had them actually be distinct, and it took until 2017 to pull that off with the reboot, something I fear may be undone in future productions. Please.. don’t.. you can have Cristina Vee voice them all, I don’t care about the voice I just want to be able to tell them a apart. So yeah I don’t like it but it dosen’t drag the episode down. Just something I wanted to have a moan about.

So they split up: Mickey, Minnie and Goofy go to shoot a cartoon while Donald runs the club. Naturally he rebrands.. but what really is telling is everyone boos him when he tries to mc.. just for not being Mickey. While Donald does have a massive inferiority complex here, desperately wanting to one up mickey.. with moments like this it’s hard not to see why> He’s JUST as big a star, just as talented , maybe not as nice but just as likeable. He even co-owns the club. But ironically only Mickey Himself, and Daisy of Course, treat him like an equal. To everyone else it’s Mickey’s world and he’s just the sidekick. It’s no wonder he spend sthe entire show desperately trying to outdo mickey: he doesn’t hate the guy, even if he wouldn’t admit it.. but he just wants to be loved too. Sure it’s part ego.

Mickey does return though with the new cartoon. And our only sizeable one so.

Hickory Dickory Mickey: This is a REALLY good one with a simple enough premise; Goofy wants Mickey to take him to the airport at 6am tomorrow.. which Mickey balks at.

Seriously i’ve woken up at 3-4am to go to the airport or on road trips. Waking up at 5:30 is pretty standard. Goofy also has good reason to ask as he once BROKE MICKEY OUT OF JAIL. And as seen up top the flashback is done in black and white AND with their old models. I just.. love everything about this and it had to have taken extra effort to make new models for the old models and thus extra money for a quick joke. So kudos best part of the episode. But with his hands tied Mickey is forced to take him and Goofy leaves him his clock which won’t stop ticking. So we get just.. nonstop good gags as Mickey tries to sleep with standouts being his trying to drown it out only to get the tick station, the tock station on the radio and the clock channel on the tv. He also tries to mail it and naturally it comes back thanks to a kangaroo when he ships it to Australia..a nd then get’s progressively batshit as he mails it to HADES (comes back in a puff of smoke) and to the 1920′s (It comes back in black and white with arms and legs). It’s just.. really damn good and I suggest seeking it out. I have liked other shorts better but this was a good one.

Pete still gloats as they’ll need more cartoons.. only for one to fall out of his jacket and Mickey to shake the rest out. We then get a fun chase between the two, SO many good jokes, my favorite being him dressing up as a dalmation only for Cruella to take measurements, before being cornered by the three and the elephant from tarzan who throws him out.. right next to pepper-ann and her mom “Don’t touch the villian dear”. Good crossover.. and another show that like House of Mouse is not on disney plus don’t ask me why.

So our heroes win, we get our usual sponsorship and unusually we see the guests leave, a nice bit I wish they did more. All’s well that ends well.

Final Thoughts: This episode was fantastic. It introduces the cast well, sets up our villian, our basic premise and while only having one major cartoon, uses that as a plot point and it’s a damn good one. A fantastic start to the series and frankly the best place to start if your curious about the show. I’d like to thank Kev for sponsoring this review. If you’d like your own review you can look at comissoin details on my blog or get one guaranteed every month by becoming a 5 dollar patreon. You get one guaranteed review a month, acess to my discord server for my patreons, and to pick a short when I do birthday specials. And contributing to my patreon gets me closer to my stretch goals, even one dollar helps. Next goal not only gets reviews of the super ducktales mini series, but also a darkwing duck episode EVERY MONTH. And with the plug done, i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#house of mouse #mickey mouse #donald duck #peg legged pete #pete pete #minnie mouse #bill farmer #daisy duck #2001 #horrace horsecollar #tarzan #pluto #max goof

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bettydgunter90 · 4 years

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081: How to Negotiate Like a Pro w/ Kris Haskins

Kris Haskins is someone Jaren and I met this past year at a conference in LA called VidSummit.

We noticed him because he was wearing this jacket that said “I Buy Houses” on the back. As far as we could tell, he was the only other real estate person at this conference, so we got to know him a little bit and found he was a pretty cool guy.

Kris deals mostly with flipping, renovation, new construction, and raising private money, and in his videos, he takes you along for the ride and explains a lot of concepts in a way that is very easy to understand.

Another thing Kris is great at is negotiation… getting people to accept lower offers and putting together win-win transactions. This is something we don’t actually deal with much in the land flipping business because our offers are more of a “take-it-or-leave-it” thing, but when you’re dealing with houses, negotiation and communication are significantly more important (and really in most of life, negotiation skills can get you a long way).

In this interview, we’re going to talk about Kris’ secret sauce for negotiating and how he’s been able to make a great life for himself as a real estate investor.

https://youtu.be/kkFTSgffrMk

Video can’t be loaded because JavaScript is disabled: 081: How to Negotiate Like a Pro w/ Kris Haskins (https://youtu.be/kkFTSgffrMk)

Links and Resources

KrisHaskins.com

Kris Haskins YouTube Channel

Facebook Ads Made Simple (Even Your Kids Can Do It)

The Real Estate Negotiating Bible (ebook) by Kris Haskins

The Real Estate Negotiating Bible (hard copy) by Kris Haskins

Ninja Negotiation Audio Recordings by Kris Haskins

Valuetainment YouTube Channel

Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki

What is a Lease Option?

What is an Accredited Investor

What is “Subject To” in Real Estate?

Neuro-linguistic Programming

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Thanks again for joining me this week. Until next time!

Right-click here and “Save As” to download this episode to your computer.

Episode 081 Transcription

Seth: Kris, welcome to the show. How are you doing?

Kris Haskins: What up, Seth? What up, Jaren?

Jaren: Hey man. I’m excited to have you on the show today.

Kris Haskins: Yes, it’s an honor.

Seth: Yeah. So just to kick this off, maybe you can tell us your backstory, like how did you get into real estate, and what made you decide to go down this road?

Kris Haskins: My backstory is I was in the music business, guys. Living a destructive lifestyle, after I graduated from college. Got fired, couldn’t keep a job. I got fired seven times throughout my life. And I’m like, you know what? I just can’t keep a job. So, when I started being a producer-engineer and got a few songs out after doing that for five years, I found out that it was a destructive lifestyle: travel and drink and drugs and sex and doing all the craziness that young people are perceived to do. I’m not saying that they all do it. I’ll never forget God passing around a plate of cocaine at a party. And then after that, I’m like, I gotta get out of here before it sucked me in. And so, I said, instead of living a destructive life, because we are at a publishing deal, we made several hundred thousand dollars.

And then I found myself on my friend’s couch, $80 in my pocket, wondering what happened to hundreds of thousands of dollars gone. I was a hit record producer, doing stuff, traveling now and just broke. I’m like, you know what? I need to learn something. That’s when God revealed to me real estate and the “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” book. And after that, man, I’m like, you know what? I need to focus my time on things that go up in value as opposed to things that go down in value.

Jaren: Wow, man. It’s awesome.

Kris Haskins: And that’s it. After that, I’m like, you know what? I’m doing the same thing. This time is on my side as opposed as the time being working against me. So, let’s do this.

Jaren: Love it.

Kris Haskins: So here we are.

Seth: Wow. That’s crazy, man.

Jaren: I don’t even know where to peel the onion back on that one, man. Like that was pretty heavy. So, what about “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” was so instrumental? Like you said, God used that “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” in real estate to really pivot you in a direction. And I hear that a lot, but I’m just curious because everybody talks about “Rich Dad, Poor Dad.” Specifically, what was like the key revelation that made it all turn around for you?

Kris Haskins: Yeah. I found that I finally understood that we make money on things that we own, not because of things that we do. When I finally understood that concept, I’m like, okay, I don’t have to do anything other than own the crap. And I got a check every month. How am I doing that? And I learned the concept. That book was like, I just became a fan and a student of doing things once and getting paid over and over and over again. The music is cool, but the problem with the music business, as it changes, it’s morphing from where I was at from the analog world. Now we’re in the streaming world. You can’t even buy a CD. I’m so glad I got out of that. But the concept, the model of the business, the music business, has changed so much. So, when I found out you could do something once and get paid over and over instead of sacrificing my time, man, I’m like, I didn’t even know people could do that.

Seth: Is it harder to make money in the music business these days or easier or has that changed in some way?

Kris Haskins: Well, Seth, it all depends on how you look at it. Just like real estate. Somebody comes to you and says, “Is it harder to do?” Like, it depends. If you’re focusing on that old business model, trying to get records like these with major record labels and waiting for them to write you a check and then do a publishing deal and all that stuff, yes. If you decide to do it on your own and publish it, because YouTube, I don’t know if you believe this or not, but YouTube is the new publishing. Every play we get paid, every second of the day. So, if you do the new entrepreneurial way, it’s unbelievable.

Seth: Yeah. That actually, sometimes it blows my mind to think about that. The fact that 20 years ago, there were very few people that had a voice. It’s like you had to be a major media outlet or a huge multinational corporation to have the masses hear you. Now it’s like people can Google the words “land investing” and find me on the first page of Google, which is insane. Who am I to have a voice? I try hard to put good information out there, but you couldn’t do this that long ago. So, I don’t know. It’s a pretty incredible thing.

Kris Haskins: That is cool. I think that’s why it’s so powerful. I think that’s why YouTube is so powerful too, because you can have not only a voice, but you can have a show like this and then just drop in. Imagine how many millions of dollars it took to make their old sitcoms, Seth. Dropping in ads. Now we just make a video, boom. Drop an ad. So, things are changing.

Jaren: And people don’t even watch mainline TV anymore. Jimmy Fallon and all those guys, they’re not starting to get on YouTube because all their ratings are dropping. I haven’t had cable probably in at least five years, man. If I have to guess.

Kris Haskins: Me neither.

Jaren: I don’t even watch Netflix. I just watch YouTube. That’s all the TV I watch.

Seth: Yeah. I just watched Disney Plus’ Donald Duck.

Jaren: This guy.

Seth: I’m only kind of kidding with that. Like I actually do watch a lot of Donald Duck these days with a three-year-old and a six-year-old. That’s like prime-time TV around here.

Jaren: Yeah. Mine is Cocomelon. Cause I got a six-month-old. He’s funny. He doesn’t like to watch cartoons. He likes to watch music. It has to have some kind of music component in it. Kris, what are the best parts of your real estate investing strategy and what are the worst part? Like let’s dive into a little bit of what you actually do. And before we started recording, you said that you do new builds and you do flips and you do a lot of stuff. What’s kind of your favorite strategy, your kind of default?

Kris Haskins: Default strategy. So many of them. I like to buy subject to where we take over the mortgage payments. I’m a long-term guy now, but we still do flips in new construction. I call it that’s the sexy part. And I’m sure you guys already know wealth is just so boring. Like if I were to take a picture of me collected randomly, you’re like, get out of here. It’s weird. Because that’s the best part, right?

Seth: Yeah.

Jaren: That’s exactly how I feel about land because you’ll never see a land flipping show on HGTV because it’s just boring. Like what are you going to do? You’re going to like, have an episode of me like, sitting on my laptop, looking at a spreadsheet and be like, yeah, I’m going to offer 35 cents on the dollar on this property. It’s boring. Most people don’t even really consider it a strategy. Like they’re like, yeah, that’s so like you can buy dirt and then just turn around and sell it? But that’s the benefit of that strategy.

Kris Haskins: The big money stuff is boring.

Jaren: The boring factor, it keeps a lot of people.

Seth: Yeah. That’s okay though.

Jaren: Yeah, it works out.

Kris Haskins: He said, well, babe, I enjoy this league. We do tenant lease options. I love where I own my own stuff. I might buy and sell the same house Jaren three times in a year. I don’t mind doing that because we’re getting a down payment. And then on my flip side, we are raising a ton of private money so we can buy anything we want right now as long as the numbers work. I think where the paradigm shift for me changed was when I found out I didn’t have to get on my knees and beg the bank for a loan. When I got that one, I cracked that net. I’m like, you know what? Let me clean my knees off. So now we raise money. We can buy anything based on paying ordinary people a percentage rate for investing with us.

Jaren: That’s awesome, man.

Seth: How does that work with raising money? Who are you talking to? What are they getting out of it? Explain those pieces for us.

Kris Haskins: Yeah. That’s a good question, Seth. Well, the thing is, it’s so weird. The less you need money, I don’t know why the universe works like this. People will give it to you more. So, when I needed it back in the day, nobody didn’t want to give me none.

Jaren: That’s funny.

Kris Haskins: I don’t know if that’s the saying for you.

Seth: Bob Hope was saying, “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” That’s kind of what it boils down to, sort of.

Kris Haskins: That is true. So, we deal with grandma and pop generally speaking, or some younger people. I’ve got one guy who gave me $50,000. Some people give us $100,000. So, they’re interested in getting a high rate of return with low risk. I don’t like risk. You say the house is worth $300,000. I’m just thinking about the one we bought this week. It’s worth low threes. We bought it for two and I was able to raise that $200,000 literally. I mean, you send out an email and a text to these people because we have credibility from doing a million deals over time. So, they just wire the money to closing. And the good thing about it is we don’t touch the money. It goes right to the escrow company or the attorney. They close it out. They are at the back and they get an APR and they’re happy.

Jaren: Yeah. That’s awesome. What do your terms look like?

Kris Haskins: Yeah, generally speaking, we pay our lenders anywhere from 7% to 8%.

Jaren: Awesome.

Kris Haskins: APR. And we have that accruing. Years ago, I got tired of mailing our payments every month. I’m like, you know what? It doesn’t matter if they get a payment this month or that we just hoped to pay them when we sell the house. Does it even matter?

Seth: Do they have to be accredited investors or anything like that or not really? Just anybody that has money can throw at you.

Kris Haskins: They can. I think there’s a certain dollar amount. I don’t know what it is. I think it’s a million. Accredited has a definition.

Seth: Yeah, you got to have a net worth excluding your personal residence of a million or you have to have an annual income of $200,000 as a single person, $300,000 as a married couple. But do they have to be that or not to work with you?

Kris Haskins: No. I don’t have any accredited. I don’t even know if I hang out with people that have a net worth of that in my circle.

Seth: I don’t either, when you come to think of it.

Jaren: I think the legal ease of that though is you just have to have an existing relationship with them. Kris isn’t going out on LinkedIn or on Facebook being like, “Hey, come invest your money with me,” because that’s where you get into legal trouble. If you met somebody at a networking event or through a friend of a friend and they came and they met you and you have an existing relationship, that’s where it’s okay to do it.

Seth: If you ever have a deal where you lose money or I don’t know the profit, maybe that never happens. But if it does, do these people just kind of have to take it on the chin on that deal and hope for better the next time? Or what happens in that case?

Kris Haskins: Here’s the thing I remember before I had any private money, right guys, I’m like, I told the universe and God. I’m like, you know what? If I ever meet some people that will invest with me, I am going to treat their money with utmost respect. I am going to make sure that we pay back every penny we borrow, I’m going to make sure that their loan to value is so low, that if anything happens, they are good. I just beat that into my head, “If I find these people.” This was years ago. If I get these people to invest with me, I’m going to treat their money better than mine. So, every deal we do, I put some cash in it, Seth. I want to make sure that if I get struck by lightning, they can liquidate. I’m bringing some of my cash in here and they don’t even care if I do, they want to lend more, but I want to make sure that they’re completely insulated against any loss.

So, if I bring the money to the deal, that makes it even lower. But yes, that is a possibility. And I will tell you, if you have a private lender, it’s not like a bank. Say your lender was going to make $10,000 for that deal. Did you know it’s okay to ask the lender if they will take $8,000? It’s not against the constitution to do that. So, whatever the scenario is, right? I know I owe you $10,000 Ms. Smith, but would you take $8,500 just for this one so we can kind of move on to the next one? I have never had a lender tell me “No.”

Seth: Really? Interesting.

Kris Haskins: They never tell me “No.” They’re like, you know what? “Thank you.”

Jaren: I can understand that from a private money investor standpoint a little bit. Because it’s like if they were taking their retirement account and throwing it in stocks, like there are quarters and there are situations where they’re going to take a loss in their portfolio. It’s going to go up and down, up and down. And so, if you frame it that way, when you explain it to them, like, look, sometimes bad deals are going to happen. And we just cut our losses and we just turn it over six months, over a year, you’re going to make money because I’m in this to make money. And if you have a track record, I think that could be a pretty easy sell. It makes sense to me.

Kris Haskins: Well, I don’t want to discourage your listeners for thinking that they have to have it existing. I’m not an expert in the ACC and all these rules, but the term existing relationship, I think that is being challenged by social media, Jaren. I think in the past relationship, I think that definition is changing. That’s all.

Seth: That’s some gray area.

Jaren: Yeah. I’ve talked to some attorneys and some guys that do apartment syndications, I work with accredited guys and they all say like, it’s a very loose definition of what an existing relationship is. I got to say, guys, we’re not giving any legal advice. So, don’t believe anything we’re saying. We’re not an attorney.

Seth: One thing I wanted to get into here, because this is something that I don’t know that I’m like an expert at this at all, because I don’t have to do a ton of this as a land investor or the types of real estate that I go after. But when it comes to negotiation, I know this is something you’ve sort of had to develop some mastery at. Particularly when you’re talking to a motivated seller and you’re trying to get on the same page and get them to accept a deeply discounted offer. How do you do that? How do you convince a person? Is it more important just to be talking to the right person in the first place so you don’t have to fight that battle? Or is there some trickery you use or mind games to get the person to become okay? I’m sorry. I’m taking it to extremes here.

Kris Haskins: The positive word is called neuro-linguistic programming. Good gracious. You talk like I’m stealing grandma’s house.

Jaren: A.k.a. manipulation. Tell me about it. Tell me about NLP.

Kris Haskins: Yeah. Well, let me tell you this. This is the reason I wrote this book, “The Real Estate Negotiating Bible,” to be honest with you. There was nothing that existed when I was coming up through the ranks. I’m like, how in the hell do I learn how to negotiate? Every book I bought was about a real tour or homeowner trying to negotiate a good deal to move into an owner arc, right? I just want to be what I want to see in the community. So that’s what we did.

At the end of the day, building rapport is huge, but you have to identify that problem. Why? And I’m sure it’s the same with plan. Why are you selling this thing? The major reason? Why are you selling? Because if your reason for selling isn’t big enough, I can’t convince you to do nothing. Ask my wife. She doesn’t do nothing that you ask her to do. It’s weird. I can get people to sell me, do all types of stuff, I can’t get my wife to make me a sandwich.

Jaren: That’s hilarious.

Kris Haskins: If you think about videos on YouTube are good. If you would see what happens in this house, I would probably have a show on it.

Jaren: Dive into that for us for a minute. Like, let’s run through a scenario if there’s like, an actual real example that you’ve thought of recently where let’s say, you got to lead and the person’s not super interested, or maybe they are interested, but they’re hesitant working with you. Let’s go this route. Let’s say they talk to you and they’re apprehensive to see if you’re actually legit or not because they got a letter from you in the mail. And they’re like, I don’t know if this is a scam or whatever. How do you gain trust and how do you get the deal?

Kris Haskins: I want to be transparent. That very rarely happens today as it used to be in the past. How old are you, Jaren?

Jaren: 29.

Kris Haskins: Okay. You’re still a young guy. We have a huge digital footprint. So now when I show up or if I have any interaction with the deal, they already love me, man. And it’s not because of me personally, it’s just because they can click a button.

Jaren: It’s because of the branding.

Kris Haskins: The digital footprint. Dude, when you show up, they just want to give you a hug.

Seth: Do they know you through Real Estate Roundup or something else? Like you have a separate website with a video and they get to know you that way. How is it that the people know who you are?

Kris Haskins: Just with the digital footprint. They’ll see me with my kids. They always type your name in, right? They want to know who you are.

Seth: I got you.

Jaren: Right.

Kris Haskins: When you get there, you’re the dad, husband. They love you. If you have the right digital footprint on the internet, it’s just unavoidable.

Seth: So, they’re googling “Kris Haskins” and they find something that you put out there and they feel like they kind of know you already before you show up.

Kris Haskins: Oh, yeah. That’s huge for us.

Seth: Interesting.

Jaren: So, what about back in the day though? Like before you had a big digital footprint?

Kris Haskins: Yeah. That could be challenging. I have something called a credibility kit. Whenever I show up, I’ve got a bunch of referrals. I never make an offer without a stack of referrals. Like we bought this house there, because you got to make yourself seem legit, but it can be challenging getting over that hump.

Seth: And referrals, it’s just like a letter or something? Or what does that mean exactly?

Kris Haskins: Yeah. I’ve got them right here. So, these are just people that we’ve bought houses from. They’d say they love you, we take a picture with them.

Seth: Oh, cool.

Kris Haskins: I leave a place where they can write something at the bottom down there.

Seth: Gotcha.

Jaren: That’s awesome.

Seth: And people are okay doing that? They’re just, “Yeah, take a picture of me and use me for the future?”

Kris Haskins: Not everybody. Some people just, they’ll do one of these. I’ll type it up and then they’ll write something at the bottom.

Seth: Cool.

Kris Haskins: You got to have some type of credibility. Jaren, I don’t know if I’m going in the right direction with what we were talking about negotiation.

Jaren: This is helpful. Yeah.

Seth: What other stuff would be in that credibility kit? Is that pretty much it? Or is there other stuff if you’re a totally unknown person to them that would very quickly get them comfortable with you?

Kris Haskins: You’re unknown. I always, always include a picture of my family when you make an offer. So, family man, you can’t be such a bum. You got a wife and kids, right? You’re doing something right.

Jaren: It’s funny you say that because I actually do that with my direct mail stuff and not a lot of people on land do it. And a lot of our coaching clients, I encourage them. I say, hey, if you’re comfortable, some people aren’t. Because they’re like, more private and all that. And I get it. But I tell them if you can put your picture on there and put a picture of you and your wife, because that’s going to make you substantially stand out. If somebody gets a letter and it’s just the same generic letter that all the other investors are using. And then yours has your picture on it, you’re going to substantially stand out. And they’re like, “Oh, this is a real person.”

Seth: If a person doesn’t have a family, say they’re a single person. Do they take a picture with their fish or something?

Kris Haskins: They are in trouble.

Jaren: Their dog.

Seth: You should just give up right now.

Kris Haskins: Maybe the dog, aunt, grandma. I don’t know. a picture.

Jaren: Grandma would work. That would be cute – “This is my grandma. She helps me buy houses.”

Seth: Picture with your probation officer or something?

Kris Haskins: You’re in trouble.

Seth: Anything else in the credibility kit?

Kris Haskins: This letter of intent, picture, referrals, man. I love it. I’m like, you know what? I always preface it by listening. You don’t know who I am. You don’t know what I can do. This is before. Here are other people we have served in the community. And if you’ve never bought a house, I know some of your viewers, your listeners may not have ever bought a house, just get a referral from a friend or family. Just say, “Kris is great. He is a man of his word.” A lot of my clients went into this. You never bought a house, right? Kris is great, man of his word, shows up on time. He does what he says. Little things. You would be surprised how many people just don’t have any referrals.

Seth: Yeah. I could see that going along the way. Circling back to the situation you’re talking about today with your digital footprint. Do you know specifically what people are seeing? Did you put a website out there specifically for this purpose? Or are they are finding your Facebook profile or any idea?

Jaren: Or YouTube channel?

Seth: Yeah. Like what exactly is making them comfortable?

Kris Haskins: Yeah. All of it. Here’s the thing. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Valuetainment at all.

Seth: I don’t know that I am. What is that?

Kris Haskins: They are a huge YouTube channel and they got 200 million views. It’s just large. So, I was able to hang out with the owner a few weeks back and he was saying how important your digital footprint is. You have to make your message known or somebody else is going to do it. It’s just going to pop up – “That Seth, he is so and so. Took my money. I sold my land to him.”

Jaren: That’s like Seth’s worth nightmare.

Seth: Yes, it is. I will lose sleep about that sometimes.

Jaren: Yeah. We go to great lengths to make sure that our reputation is intact, man. We really want to make sure that people, when they come to RETipster, they’re coming to something different.

Seth: The crazy thing about that, I mean, to obsess about it, I’m sure helps somehow. But even then, like you still can’t control it. If somebody decides to go off on you, it’s totally out of my hands. I think that this kind of practice knowing how to get your message out there to drown out other negative voices if they’re there, I can go along. And hopefully there just aren’t any but if there ever were…

Kris Haskins: That’s true. That’s exactly right. You got to print the footprint on all of it. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Russell Brunson, but he says, you’ve got to have an attractive character.

Jaren: I ran on Russell Brunson.

Kris Haskins: And so, I’m like, I’m your attractive character. And it’s not nothing personal, dude. This is just business principles, Jaren. I mean, you have to have an attractive character in every business, just like you guys.

Jaren: It has to be real. It has to be out there. Like you actually have to be like the guy. You can’t be like some fakery stuff. You’ll get found out. But I want to go back to NLP because I’ve always been really interested in neuro-linguistic programming. And do you have a lot of training in that, a lot of background in that? Has that helped you a lot in your negotiations?

Kris Haskins: It’s not like I’m a master. I mean I’m just reading a million books. I got one. I keep one right here. William Ury and all these negotiating books he’s got. “Getting to Yes” and a whole bunch of.

Jaren: For our listeners that might not know what an NLP is, do you want to give a Cliff Notes version?

Kris Haskins: Neuro-linguistic programming.

Seth: Sum it up into one word.

Jaren: Go. Right now.

Kris Haskins: I wish my wife would let me use it. She has seen me do it to people. So, it’s getting them to do something that they ordinarily wouldn’t do. You were there kind of pushing them along a little bit. That’s all.

Seth: Okay.

Jaren: Are you getting that to like do a life example? Like convinced me to go work out tonight or something?

Kris Haskins: Well, we could give it a shot. It’s just a pain. I mean, in the Negotiating Bible, it’s unfortunate, but the pain that once you have that little cut, I took my training with HomeVestors. Are you familiar with the Ugly House guys?

Jaren: Yeah.

Kris Haskins: They have guys, some masters. Dude, when I was in Dallas, I hung out with some freaking master negotiators. These dudes, man, they’ve been around since the 80s, watching them in action pain. You get that little cut. You’ve got to take the knife, turn the knife ever so gently. You have to be very empathetic with that. You don’t want to overdo it. So, getting you to the gym? Yeah. We could try.

Jaren: All right, let’s do it.

Kris Haskins: I have to find out what you can tell me about your kids for us. I know you’ve got some beautiful children, Jaren.

Kris Haskins: I do. I have a son who is 16 months old and then another son on the way. I found out that we’re having a boy. Did you know that Seth? We’re having a boy.

Seth: I didn’t. I knew you were having a kid, but not a boy. So, congrats.

Jaren: Yeah, we are having a boy.

Seth: That’s awesome, man.

Kris Haskins: Congratulations.

Jaren: Yeah. It’s exciting.

Kris Haskins: I’m sure you want your son to be here well until your older ages, right?

Jaren: Yeah.

Kris Haskins: Yeah. So, we try to kind of eat healthy. Do you think going to the gym will extend your life or would cut it short?

Jaren: I don’t know, man. I feel like if I go to the gym, I’m going to like, curl up in a ball and start crying. Because I’m like so stressed out of my life right now. But I’d have that extra pressure, I’m going to cry. But the truth is I need it. I know I need to work out. I know I need to eat healthy, but it’s just so overwhelming.

Kris Haskins: It can be overwhelming. It can be overwhelming. That’s why I keep, Jaren, a gym bag right by the front door. It’s something called an on ramp that we do use. Right? I don’t know if you have any on ramps in the house. So, when I walked by that front door, the bag is, “Come get me, come get me.” In the morning I get up, the bags, they’re waiting for me. Do you think having a bag by your front door might help you? The gym bag with your clothes and your shoes?

Jaren: Yeah. Yeah. Maybe. You know what I think it is, man? I just need to want it bad enough. I really want to be in shape, but I like the taste of fried chicken, chicken wings. I’ve been on this kick where it’s been like Buffalo Wild Wings and beer. It’s been terrible.

Kris Haskins: That stuff tastes good.

Jaren: It does. All my family members, they’re all having health problems. My brother needs like, some surgery on his thyroid and everybody’s having all of these kinds of health issues. And I know it’s a ticking time bomb. I know one day I’m going to have a reckoning, but it’s not today. So, I go get myself some Buffalo Wild Wings and I feel bad while I’m eating my chicken. I sit there.

Kris Haskins: Listen to this, Seth. I don’t know if I could push you. I want you to think about the future and with the children. I would love to kind of hang out with you in about 10 years. If you don’t go to the gym, do you see your future any differently hanging out with your kids? My only pain point I can do is with kids. That’s all I got on you right now as I’m processing.

Jaren: You know what it is, man? What eats at me when it comes to my health and my fitness, I know that influence requires me to look a certain way. Influence really drives me. I know that if I ever want to rock a stage, like actually be like a motivational speaker, I can’t do it fat. It’s not going to happen. I can, and my delivery will be like, okay, but I’m going to go work out right now. I’m going to go work out. Because I got to go like do a run or something, man. Because for me, that’s the motivation. I’m not going to tap into my full potential unless I lose weight.

Jaren: Gotcha. So, I needed to take all the conversation off the kids and onto the future. Sounds like you’re entrepreneurial driven as opposed to family driven. And I’m not saying that you don’t have that, but it’s hierarchy.

Jaren: My major driver in life is impact and influence. And I want to like, impact people. I want to make a difference. That’s my driver.

Seth: One thing I’m just noticing there is that Jaren almost kind of just convinced himself there. All Kris was doing, he was just asking questions. Kris wasn’t saying it’s a problem. He’s not saying, “Jaren, you got a problem. You’re in trouble.” He is just asking questions. Granted, that was a fake scenario. So maybe that’s not a hundred percent real. But I think that’s actually the sign of a skilled negotiator is that what this Socratic teaching where it’s like, you ask questions that prompt a person to answer it themselves.

Kris Haskins: Oh, man. I love the questions, man.

Jaren: This is really good stuff. This is like a master class. I love this. This is really good.

Kris Haskins: Questions. I love it. I wish I could marry questions, man, because people just don’t ask enough. I sit down with people. They don’t ask me. I’m like you asked me for a meeting, you don’t ask me questions, I’m gone.

Jaren: Yeah. It’s funny that they’ll sit down and then they’ll just talk for like 40 minutes and tell you all about everything.

Kris Haskins: And no questions asked. When I met with Patrick Bet-David, the guy who owns Valuetainment, I took 40 hours. He told me he takes 20 hours before he meets with his attorney. So, I’m like, I took 40 hours before I met him. I had pages of questions for the dude. I think that’s what winners do though.

Seth: Come prepared. Yeah.

Jaren: That’s interesting. So really what you’re trying to do with NLP is you’re trying to find their driver and through asking strategic questions and through relationships and you have to be settled because you can’t spook them. The minute they feel like you’re manipulating them or you’re trying to pull something over them, then you lost them. You got to establish trust, be kind, be patient. And then when you find their driver, then you leverage that driver towards the end desire that you’re trying to get them to do towards the sale or what have you.

Seth: Now, how does that work? Is there ever a point where you just kind of give up? Like you stop trying to convince or even ask questions to get somebody to take your offer because they’re not the right person, they’re never going to say…

Jaren: Yeah, he said that about his wife.

Seth: There you go. So that’s one example.

Kris Haskins: We still could do that. Yeah.

Seth: How do you know when you’re dealing with somebody who will or won’t consider an offer, that’s going to work for you? Like when do you just cut it and say, “Nope, not working. Talk to you later.” Because for me, that’s what I do immediately. If somebody doesn’t say “yes” I’m like, “Okay, see ya, you’ll be back, but we’re done now.” I’m assuming that’s not how you work. How far do you push it? And what are your telltale signs that we’re not going to come together on this?

Kris Haskins: Well, I feel like I’m preaching to the choir. Time and circumstances will change every seller, right? If you say, no, it just means not right now. But I always leave with the one question, “Ms. Smith, if you don’t sell this thing, what are you going to do? What are you going to do?” That’s the key. If they say, “Well, you know what I should? I should just keep it forever.” If they say “I’ll just rent it out.” Then you can kind of tell I’m looking for, “I don’t know what I’m going to do if I don’t sell this thing.” If you don’t get $80,000, what are you going to do? Well, I’ll lower it to $60,000.

So, it all depends on what their rebuttal is for that. But yeah, a lot of times we don’t get them on the first try. I very rarely just go out there, get a contract, and come back. It takes time. We’ll call it the slow dance. Usually, they say no, but then we always give them something in writing so they can go home. Nowadays you gotta have something in writing.

Seth: Yeah. If somebody starts off the conversation or early on, they sort of very confidently state what they think the property is worth and it’s really high. Whatever rationale they’re using for that, whether it’s an appraisal or assessed value or the house next door or whatever, is that something you should be discouraged by? Or should that number mean anything to you? How do you get to the bottom of what role that number plays in your conversation or do you just completely ignore it? And if you do ignore it, how do you get them to realize “No, your numbers are actually totally wrong and here’s why. Here’s a lower number that’s more realistic.” How does that conversation look?

Kris Haskins: It can be challenging depending on where that valuation came from. Generally speaking, they don’t have an appraisal, they have the assessed value and I love it. I love it. When they say it’s worth, I’ve yet to meet the seller that says, you know what? I don’t want top dollar for my house. I want you to buy it at a discount. When you show up at the door, right. It doesn’t happen. So, it is our job and our responsibility, our obligation to paint the picture for them, Seth, as you were saying. So yes, I always agree. Whatever they say, I’m always like you’re right. If I know it’s worth $50,000 and they say it’s worth $200,000, “Ms. Smith, you know what? You have the full right to believe your house is worth whatever you want it to be. I mean, you are absolutely right. I can’t deny that. And in fixed upstate Ms. Smith, you know what? Probably it could be worth that. It might be.”

So, as long as I’m just agreeing with them, I’m just stroking their ego, as we’re going through, then I would bring up the repairs, cost to sell, all that stuff that’s going to chop it down. But we always agree Seth, man.

Jaren: Because that’s how you establish trust. That’s really interesting.

Kris Haskins: There you go. “You’re right. Ms. Smith, sure. At the district it could be worth $200,000.” Then I kind of go down with that one. I’ve never caught them off though.

Seth: Those next steps of bringing up the repairs and cost of selling and stuff like that, are you just sort of in passing when you’re talking to them like, “Oh, it looks like that roof’s going to be $10,000 to replace that.” And you sort of just make subtle mentions of that so they can hear it. Or I don’t know, how do you introduce those numbers in the conversation so that it means something to them and they can sort of come to terms?

Kris Haskins: I love it. It’s exactly why I wrote this book. This is exactly why I wrote this book, Seth.

Seth: By the way, I’d be linking to that book in the show notes at RETipster.com/81. Just so you’re aware.

Kris Haskins: Man, you talking, Seth. I love it. Well, when people say the repairs, I never just say, “Well, what about this? What about that?” I always once again, I’m going back to my questions. Your questions are your secret weapons. They are just your bullets in the gun, right? Ms. Smith, what do you think it would take to do that roof? How much do you think it would take? What’d you think of the bag? I always ask them what they think because it’s irrelevant. Like I’m so irrelevant in this. I’m there just to kind of stroke them on. Because I love it when they give me these small offers, I just love it because I know they’re going to say, “The roof? That’s $2,000. The central heating and air? I’ve got a guy that can do that for $1,500.”

And I just love it, man, because I know that I’m like Colombo. I’m like, “You know what? I’m so glad you have somebody to do that.” I pull out my phone. I just wanted to get that guy’s phone number so he could do that because I’m going to claim this house. I’m going to do this deal. Would you mind if I could hire your guy when I buy it and we’ll give you what you want and he can do that work for us that cheap. Because my guys are going to be three times that. So, I’ll leave it there and then I let them. They can’t answer that one. Generally, they can’t even come back. So yeah, that’s how we beat them. Not beat them. That’s how we are able to negotiate the number down. No way in hell you can get this stuff done for the prices that they usually say.

Jaren: Very interesting.

Seth: Yeah. Some people might like when you were mentioned earlier, the idea is to twist the knife, just get a little bit of blood, kind of thing. Like some people might hear that and think this is manipulative, this is evil and wrong.

Kris Haskins: My wife is one of them. Go ahead.

Seth: Well, I can see why one might think that, but what are your thoughts on that? Is that misguided or inaccurate? And if so, how is this not manipulation?

Kris Haskins: Well, you know what? When I was writing the book, Seth, I had a lot of soul-searching to do. I had a decision to make, as I’m writing the book. I learned from some masters, dude. I’m a peon when it comes to those dudes that are HomeVestors. They teach people all around the country, dog. I had to make a decision. Am I going to make this user-friendly for everybody? Or do I want to arm the new real estate investors with precise tools that they need to go in there and get the best deal for them? I struggle with that Seth, when I was writing it because I don’t want a homeowner to feel taken advantage of. On the other hand, I don’t want my trainee to go in and try to overpay based on the emotion. So, I chose to arm us investors, Seth.

Seth: Yeah. I’ve known some pretty skilled sales people in my life. And this is a narrative that they’re very well aware of. It’s that salespeople are almost seen as like, scum of the earth. Like nobody, nobody when they hold their newborn baby for the first time thinks, “Oh look, this is going to be a salesman. That’s who my child’s going to be.” It’s just kind of seen as, in general, like somebody who’s not trustworthy. But I think a skilled salesperson sort of sees it as I sort of help people see what they don’t realize. And it really serves them in the end. The idea is not to get what I want. The idea is to help them see the light. It sounds like a similar thing here. Would you agree?

Kris Haskins: Similar thing. With houses for me, you have to have some type of negotiation strategy. If you don’t, man, you’re just shooting in the wind.

Jaren: I think it really boils down to the investor’s personal integrity. The reality is when we get a house, that’s dilapidated and we make it better and we resell it. If we talk about flipping or ultimately even through like wholesaling. Even with land, we’re buying and then we’re turning around to selling it to somebody who’s going to develop the property and make it better. We’re serving the community. We’re serving the world in that. We’re taking something that is not good and we’re improving it in some capacity.

And so I think at a high level, we need to take a step back and say, “Okay, well, if you, as an individual have integrity, here are tools that you can use to help make the world a better place, to make money along the way, help the seller.” Because a lot of these motivated sellers, they’re actually in a position that they need to sell this property. They need help. They need the finances to move quickly. To be honest, I’ve been in a spot where I remember when my wife is from Kazakhstan and we were separated for a year and a half when we first got married and finances were tight during that first year. I promise you, if I added an inherited piece of junk rental property, I’d sell that thing for $10,000 with a smile on my face. I would be out of here.

And so, if you’re talking to the right person who has the right situation, you can come in and really help them. And if they’re like, caught up in their head trash or trying to latch onto it, these tools can help you serve them and ultimately serve the community. There can be a way where you do it in full integrity and win-wins. And that’s where I like a lot of the marketing stuff. You mentioned Russell Brunson earlier. There’s a lot of things given like the tone of your voice, like asking certain questions that they are influence tactics. I think it’s manipulation when it branches out to like, you’re trying to convince somebody to do something that ultimately is going to hurt them. And if that’s your motivation, that’s on you man. Like that has nothing to do with NLP. NLP is a tool. These psychological sales tactics, they’re just tools. If I have a hammer, I can build a house or I can kill somebody. It’s not the hammer’s fault.

Kris Haskins: Good point, Jaren.

Seth: Yeah. Has there ever been a situation where you’ve talked to somebody you know they can get a better deal than what you’re going to offer them. Like, they’re not the right fit and you just tell them, “Look, I’m not your guy. Just listen to some MLS and you’ll sell it tomorrow for twice as much as what I’m going to pay you.” Like, does that ever happen or are you always kind of just trying to get the best deal you can and leave it up to them whether or not they say no to that?

Kris Haskins: Oh, no. We are always a consultant when we show up at the property. Matter of fact, the first thing out of my mouth, when I made it there, Seth, is like, “Listen, I don’t even know if I’m going to buy this house or not, okay? So, we’ll walk through here. I’ll make a new friend and we’ll look at the property together. Is that okay with you?” Always frame it up as a question. You guys know.

So, I don’t even know if I’m going to buy the house and if I can’t do it yet, we just refer it to a broker. I would much rather not buy the house to give somebody a bad deal because I don’t get a referral. I need that referral. I say it every time, listen, I need you happy because I need a referral. I need you to sign a referral when we are done. To answer your question, Seth, we refer to them all the time. So, I don’t care, man. I don’t need anything, man. I do not need another house. We’ve got more than enough. We’re blessed. And I want them to know that too.

Seth: Actually, along those lines, what are your most effective ways for finding deals? Where are you getting these houses from?

Kris Haskins: We’ve got a team that does social media stuff. I got to tell you if I had to put my dollar on it, social media, I’m just starting to do text messaging, Facebook ads. We still do bandit signs. I still do a little bit of direct mail, but social media, Seth. I just think that it is the state of the internet. So, if you can get ads in front of people.

Seth: When you say social media, you mean like if you got like a Facebook page and you’re creating ads that send people to some kind of landing page or something, or what does that look like?

Kris Haskins: No, we don’t want to take them off of Facebook. It’s a landing page, but it’s within Facebook. So, if you click on the ad and Facebook has its own little… I don’t know the name of it.

Seth: Is it just showing people a phone number or they can send you a message through that? Or what does a person do to respond to that?

Kris Haskins: Yeah, they can call. Usually what I found out is social internet people, per se, as opposed to direct mail. Like direct mail people they’re ready to get on the phone. I don’t want to drive them to the internet because it’s the wild, wild west. I don’t know what popups are going to show up and somebody might steal them from me. But on the internet, a lot of them want to stay on there. They want to text you and do all that geeky stuff. So, it’s a little different communication barrier, but yeah, they’re staying online texts. Very rarely do I have a phone call from an internet lead. I mean, that’s why they’re on the internet, I guess.

Seth: In this Facebook ad, is that like a video or a picture of you or something? Or what does that look like?

Kris Haskins: Well, I do run some pictures of me, but what I found out, I did not know that if I was this popular people would contact me around the country and want me to coach them or want to get to know me a little bit based on the ads. So, we had to take my face off the ad and put another.

Seth: Yeah, gotcha.

Kris Haskins: But yeah. You have a face “I buy houses” and it’s just generic, it’s really just something to get them to click.

Seth: Cool. Interesting.

Kris Haskins: It ain’t cheap though.

Seth: There is a lot that goes into the Facebook ad stuff in terms of like, who do you target and what do you say and what do you tell them to do. And when they do it, what do you say then?

Jaren: And it’s a lot of testing, man. If we can Seth, let’s go ahead and put that blog article I wrote about Facebook ads in the show notes because I went at a very high level explaining what is happening with Facebook ads for the layperson. At the end of the day even if you hire a professional ads agency, all you’re paying for is somebody to figure it out for you. They may have a lot of experience, like they figured it out a lot of times for other people, but at the end of the day, you’re still paying them to figure it out because I’ve literally seen campaigns running in Indianapolis and convert great. And then they take the exact same campaign and run it in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And it doesn’t convert because the demographic is different and there’s all these variables that go into it. So literally from day one, all you’re doing is you have a funnel and you’re testing ads and try to find the right ad that’s actually going to get people to do it.

Seth: Maybe it’s because that Fort Wayne ad said “Sell your Indianapolis house.”

Kris Haskins: That is funny.

Seth: Your YouTube channel and your website. What made you decide to start doing that? Why? Is it just something you enjoy? And you’ve been doing it for a long time and you’ve got a huge following. So, I’m just curious how that came into the picture.

Kris Haskins: Yeah. We’re blessed, Seth. I have been doing YouTube for a long time, but I didn’t do it seriously until July, 2017. That’s when I met Valuetainment with Patrick Bet-David and now I get to hang out with the guy. So, I’m telling you this dude, he’s amazing. He was doing it teaching for entrepreneurs, right? I’m like, you know what? I could probably teach real estate investors. July, 2017, man. If you just go back in my career, it just blew up when I took content creation seriously.

And Seth, you don’t know this, but I don’t really like social media. I just do it because you have to do it. If you don’t do it, you don’t even exist. So yeah, I took that time, I’m like, you know what? I’ve been grinding since 2004. Let me just kind of share what I’ve learned and let’s see if anybody likes it.

Seth: Yeah man, it looks like it’s helping a lot of people. Kris, it’s been very enlightening. Very interesting. We haven’t had a whole lot of conversations about negotiation specifically. And I know this is a huge thing. I picked up a lot of helpful stuff just listening to this.

Seth: And your credibility packet. That was some really good insight there.

Kris Haskins: Yeah. You guys are masters too, man. I’m picking up some gyms from you too.

Seth: Yeah. When I heard about your book, I was kind of like, ‘Oh cool. Whatever. Everybody has a book.” But after hearing what you were saying, I actually think I’m going to read it. Because I feel like this is the tip of the iceberg of what we’ve talked about here. So, I’m going to take a few days I think and go through that and see if I can glean anything else. Because think of what you can accomplish in life if you’re a master negotiator, that’s unbelievable power.

Seth: Yep. You got it though, Seth. Well, I take it back. I don’t know if I can make an offer and be like, “You don’t want my offer? Okay.” I don’t know.

Jaren: Yeah. I mean land is so unique, man, where deals happen by accident. I mean, I still have calls coming in from six months, seven months ago. And people were just like, “Hey, I got your offer. I want to move forward.” It’s just different because the asset class is just…

Kris Haskins: You’re the only deal in town.

Jaren: Well, there are some places where there’s competition, but it’s a different type of property. It’s similar to like, if you own the boat or you inherited like, a boat. Like it’s nice to have if you use it. But if you live in Canada and you own property in Florida, that you inherited from your great grandmother and you have to pay property taxes on it, you don’t know what to do with it. It’s like, you don’t even know how to sell it half the time. So, the people are just a lot more motivated.

Kris Haskins: Now I’m going to just hire you all to find me some, Seth. I need a lot for my house, for my family.

Seth: Yeah, man. I know. And we can find you something. When you were talking about that Jaren, it makes me think we don’t have to negotiate a whole lot, but what if we did?

Jaren: That’s exactly why I want to read his book.

Seth: Yeah. I think if I don’t want more deals, we can make it happen. We’re just not trying to because you don’t have to.

Jaren: Yeah, that’s true.

Seth: I feel like there’s something there.

Jaren: I hundred percent agree.

Seth: So, Kris, if people want to learn more about you, we’re obviously going to link to your YouTube channel and your book and your website. What is your website?

Kris Haskins: You can just go to either krishaskins.com really right now. I mean, I need to think bigger and get a bigger vision.

Seth: And this Real Estate Roundup, what is that?

Kris Haskins: The Real Estate Roundup. That’s what I started up in 2010. I started just interviewing people. I was like, you know what? Let me round up the best real estate people in my town. That’s when I started kind of like seeing the vision of surrounding myself with the best, but it ultimately turned into coaching and training. So, that’s just my inner circle people. It is a website too and I have the domain. I don’t have it quite set up to where you can kind of go in and join. Always a work in progress, right?

Seth: Awesome. Well again, I appreciate you taking the time to come on the RETipster podcast. And again, everybody check out RETipster.com/81 where you can find all the details about everything we talked about here and go check out krishaskins.com. That’s krishaskins.com. Thanks again, Kris.

Kris Haskins: Thanks, guys.

Seth: So, there you have it folks. That was our interview with Kris. I thought that was very, very enlightening. I’ve read like similar negotiation stuff in the past, but I feel like there’s lots of different spins people can put on it and I kind of liked the spin he put on it. So, what did you think, Jaren?

Jaren: Yeah, I thought it was really insightful. I think at a high level, if you just go in there with the intent to just help, you’re going to uncover a lot of pain points and you’re going to do a lot of the tactics without even trying. So, if you guys aren’t trained, don’t have this interview be a reason to feel like, “Oh, I need to go out and spend a bunch of money to get training or whatever.” It’s good to just listen to podcasts, read some books and have some further advanced instruction on different subjects like negotiations and stuff like that. But if you just go in with the intent to just create win-wins and to help people, you’re going to get there.

Seth: Cool. Well, in usual fashion, we’re going to ask a random question here of Jaren and myself. So, the question is this. If you could have any object or place in the world completely to yourself for one day, what would you choose?

Jaren: Object or place.

Seth: Yeah.

Jaren: You go first because I always go first.

Seth: I don’t know why, but for some reason the first thing that is coming to mind is either like Disney World or some other amusement park, which is funny because I don’t want to do amusement parks these days. At least I haven’t in a long time, but I just remember thinking that when I was at Cedar Point several times in Ohio, as a kid waiting in line for like two hours to get on a ride. And I don’t know, that’d be really cool to just like run on every ride and just do it. You don’t have to sit and wait all day.

Jaren: Yeah. It would be awesome to like, rent it out for an entire day.

Seth: Yeah.

Jaren: I think that it would be really cool to… I don’t know. What comes to my mind is there’s this place called Mount Athos, which is like an entire island of just monks. Like women I think are allowed to visit the Island, like during the day, but they can’t spend the night there. Don’t quote me on that. I don’t know exactly how that works, but I think it would be really cool to go to Mount Athos. But I guess that’s not to yourself because you have the monks there, so maybe that doesn’t work.

Seth: Amusement part probably wouldn’t be there because people have to help you get on the ride, right?

Jaren: Yeah. I mean that’s the only one that comes to mind is I think it’d be really cool to go there and be like the sole visitor and talk to all the super high-level monks and then the hermits and stuff and bug them and stuff. That would be fun.

Seth: Yeah. It’s kind of a tricky question because most places anywhere that I can think of, the existence of people is sort of a crucial component of what gives it value. Like if you a hundred percent eliminate all other bodies, I don’t know. In some way it would be lacking. You’d be like truly in the wilderness by yourself or something. So, I don’t know.

Jaren: I mean I think an object would be easier. An unlimited supply of Chick-fil-A. That would be pretty dope for a day.

Seth: Actually, I fantasize that someday in heaven we’ll be able to eat anything we want and it will never get full and it won’t make us fat. It would just be like, perfect.

Jaren: That’d be awesome. I mean, I definitely think Chick-fil-A is going to be in heaven. I heard a meme or like a joke on it. It was a meme on Facebook and it said about 2020 and all the crazy stuff that’s been going on. I don’t know if you knew, but there was this big competition between Popeye’s new chicken sandwich and then Chick-fil-A.

Seth: I did not know that.

Jaren: Yeah, it was trending on Twitter. It was like this huge thing. Somebody said, “Listen, when I started messing with God’s chicken, all this started to happen. I’m just saying.”

Seth: Do you really think Chick-fil-A is…? I mean, I agree. It’s very good, but like every fried chicken on Earth, is that really the best there is?

Jaren: Well, I mean, I think that it’s from a fast food restaurant, yes. And it’s very good. When they call it God’s chicken it’s because they don’t work on Sunday and it’s more of their brand. It’s not necessarily the quality of their chicken. But I think that they’re probably within the top three for me. When it comes to fast food chains, they’re the best. But when it comes to like, mom and pop shops, like you can definitely find some better chicken.

Seth: You hear a lot of people hate like, McDonald’s for example, like it’s a garbage hamburger. Like anybody can make something better than that. It sort of is by one measurement. But if you measure it by consistency, you can go to any McDonald’s on Earth and order a double cheeseburger and you know what it’s going to be. Somehow to get all of those different variables and people and ingredients and everything working together so that it’s the same everywhere. Like that’s actually a pretty amazing feat. So, cool, man.

Jaren: Yes, sir.

Seth: Well, again, folks, if you want to check out all the resources we talked about, go check out RETipster.com/81 to see the show notes. And if you’re listening to this on your phone, take your phone out and text the word “FREE.” F-R-E-E to the number 33777. You can stay up to date on all the things we got going on.

So, I want to thank Kris again for coming on the show. It was awesome talking with him. And for everybody out there listening, I hope you’re doing well. And we’ll talk to you next time.

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