#this is all to say how much I've loved the show so far for all its flaws and perfections
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Mistake
© thewidowsledger 2025 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE
Pairings: Professor!Natasha Romanoff x College Student!Female Reader
Word count: 4.2k
Tags | Warnings: +18 smut, ANGST, vile, mean, obsessive, hurt and dark Natasha, Natasha has a penis, top!Natasha, bottom!reader, hate fuck, crying but def not dacryphilia, kind of dubcon, noncon breeding
Author's Note: This is by far the darkest fic that was requested to me…I might be overreacting but I just a baby. I don't know how Latin honors works from others so I just referenced it to mine. Plot is kind of inspired with the song Teacher's Pet but it's the other way around. Request
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⧗
"What happened to us?" She asked again. The question hung in the air, demanding an answer that you know yourself wouldn't be willing to give.
Because you just want to forget it, forget it all—forget her.
⧗
"Isn't Y/N your rival since like 8th grade? You always hated the girl man! How come you're confessing your feelings to her on our graduation day?!" Rhodey groaned while rubbing his entire face as he talked to his best friend who just told his deep shocking secret.
"That's when I started loving her too." Tony simply replied.
You and Tony were actually schoolmates since grade school. And you have always been a top performing student ever since, while Tony only got to show his skills and intelligence not until high school—late bloomer as they say.
Who would imagine that the shy weird kid back in grade school would turn into a big massive fuckboy slash science freak in high school until college?
"So what's the plan, man?" Rhodey can only ask. He and Tony have been side by side since forever so there is no way he will not support him in getting to you. "Tony, as much as I want to support you in this…thing. You know your reputation. First, you are Y/N's acads rival, as long as there are numbers and letters and numbers and letters mixed together you are enemies and everybody knows that. Second, you have a reputation of sleeping with so many women. You know you didn't have your name cleared about the sleep night with the entire cheerleading team two years ago, in fact you didn't want your name cleared because you liked having that reputation."
"That was two years ago, I'm different now, at least I am trying too."
"I can't believe this. But honestly, I'd hit that." Rhodey smirked, showing your beach photo wearing a maxi skirt, a crochet top and the black glasses you always wore.
"Okay, enough of that! That's…that girl is mine, man. Please bro code." He snatched his friends' phone away from him and turned it off. Tony doesn't need to look at your photos anymore since he had memorized each photo of yours because he had been checking on your Instagram for at least twice a day.
"I was just joking! Of course I wouldn't." Rhodey chased his phone and was able to get it before Tony put it in his pocket. "So what's the plan? How will you…you know?" He shrugged while looking intently at his friend.
"Don't worry, I'm never running out of plans and pick up lines." He let out a laugh while also flexing his biceps
"Hey, hey! Friendly advice man? Just cut with your bad pick up lines and be a man. You just told me she's the girl you want to marry and she looks like the type who wouldn't fall for jokes or pick up lines. This isn't any rom coms, if you want her to fall in love with you, compliment and admire her mind—her intelligence."
"O…kay…where did that come from? That was a good one, Rhodey. I never thought I would hear that from you." Tony tried not to laugh his ass off, but the words of wisdom his friend just told him was something he needed.
Rhodey just shrugged, a genuine smile on his face showing as he looked at his friend. "I've always had it in me, Tony. It's just you never asked for some advice. Besides, you're different and so am I. And now, seeing you genuinely in love with this girl? I just know you need some unsolicited advice from mister lover boy right here."
"Hey, I'm a mister lover boy too." Tony pouted.
"You can be. But first, we have 8 minutes to get to Mr. Coulson's class."
The two sprinted out of the cafeteria, not even noticing Professor Romanoff sitting in the corner, her nails grazing hard against her own coffee mug.
⧗
"You're not gonna run for Latin?" You asked Tony, you were frustrated, you expected him to be your rival up until the end but when you knew you were the only one who filed for latin honors in your class, you were infuriated. You should be thankful, really, because you have no more competition but…
"I had 2.75 in molecular dynamics in 3rd year, if you didn't know. So basically, I'm not eligible to run for latin since then." You huffed at his reply, you don't know if it's out of disbelief or relief because he had that grade that made him not qualified for latin anymore.
"Did you purposely fail that class?" You asked him suspiciously. "Because I don't want to have this honor if you just basically gave it away. Like what you did in our elemag quiz bee during 10th grade, you said I only won because you basically let me, because you were just forced to join."
Tony pinched his nose, trying to hold a giggle. You are so cute, he thought to himself. Always so competitive and he loved every bit of it.
"I sucked at the subject, I promise, princess." He replied sincerely, not teasingly and provoking like he always was when he talks to you. Like when he tells you to calm yourself down before you internalize everything you had reviewed for a quiz bee, because it's just him you're gonna have to contend in some stupid quizzes.
You hated the man, but he's like a part of your system. You wouldn't function without him infuriating you—without him always competing with you.
"So…congratulations, summa cum laude." You were shocked at his words and genuineness but you didn't let him notice. For once, he didn't annoy you—for once—he's not your rival.
Before Tony could hand you the bouquet of tulips he was holding, a student suddenly rushed up to you.
"Hey, Y/N," the student said, her cheeks blushing as her eyes darted between you and Tony. "Professor Romanoff is asking for you in her office."
Hiding the tulips behind his back, Tony feigned nonchalance while you fought back your irritation. You couldn't believe it—even after all this time, he still had an effect on the women in your school. Unknown to you, the student had glimpsed the flowers he was secretly holding in his hands where she thought were for you.
"R-right now?" You stammered and the student nodded before bidding goodbye to the both of you.
"Are you alright?" Tony asked, noticing you turned pale.
As Tony asked you if you were okay, you found yourself blurting out, "Can you come with me?" You immediately regretted your words, silently cursing yourself for asking for help from the one person you loathed the most.
Despite the tension between the two of you, Tony agreed to accompany you to Professor Romanoff's office. As you walked, he fidgeted awkwardly, still holding the bouquet of flowers behind his back. Whenever you stole a glance in his direction, he'd turn away, so you wouldn't notice the bouquet peeking behind him.
The walk was filled with an uncomfortable silence, neither of you uttering a single word until you reached the professor's office.
Tony was about to reach for the door handle to Professor Romanoff's office, you quickly stopped him, passing him your bag. He shot you a questioning look, his eyes filled with concern as he asked, "Are you okay?"
You just gave him a small nod. He took your bag without protest and offered a reassuring nod in return.
"I'll wait for you here," he said, awkwardly holding your tote bag and wiggling his fingers as you go inside. His other arm was tired from having to hold the bouquet behind his back.
He could give it to you after, he thought.
⧗
You closed the door, but you deliberately left it unlocked. After a moment, Professor Romanoff emerged from the bathroom, her eyes scanning the room until they landed on you.
"Professor." You said, your head bowed in submission. Despite your fear and trepidation, you couldn't bring yourself to meet her gaze, keeping your eyes on your shoes as you struggled to maintain your composure.
She walked towards you, your heart pounded in your chest, and you felt a cold sweat breaking out on your forehead. Your lips trembled, and your shoulders tensed up as if preparing yourself for the worst. Your shoulders grazed onto each other as she locked the door behind you, trapping you inside with her.
"Is the pictorial done for graduation?" She asked, it came out soft but cold.
You took a deep breath, gathering what little ounce of courage you had left and managed to stammer out, "Yes."
Professor Romanoff's eyes traveled down your body, scrutinizing your outfit. You were wearing a skirt that teetered on the edge of being too short, paired with a fitted white top and a cardigan. You fidgeted under her intense scrutiny, feeling exposed and vulnerable under her stare.
"May I ask why I was being called, professor?" You asked, you bit your lip after for trembling too much.
"You're the only candidate for the Latin honors in our program. I talked to Professor Coulson and others in the faculty, and all of them said that your position is already secured for it not to drop below a 2," she stated. "Many professors are rooting for you to deliver your speech in 5 months."
And you? You desperately want to ask but you hold yourself back, keeping the question locked inside your mind. You wanted to speak less to her as much as possible, so you just nodded.
The room was filled with silence for several minutes, and you just stood there while she was still sitting in her office chair.
"I missed you."
Your heart literally dropped. The last time you had heard those words from her was two years ago, when you both had been caught up in a dirty secret affair.
"Didn't you miss me too? Detka? " You begged in your mind for her to not to call you those russian pet names again, well, it's one of your weaknesses still after so long.
You shook your head side to side in denial and screwed your eyes shut, as if trying to block out the words and the memories they stirred up. The mere thought of admitting to missing her was too much for you to handle—because you did, you missed her so much and you hated yourself for it. So every time your heart flutters when you see her along the hallways, you move to a different direction just to avoid her or if your mind starts to think about her, you immerse yourself in studying which most of the time failed to work.
You tried to be strong and you think you're doing good at it. You told yourself as long as you're not going to be alone with her again, you'd be fine.
And you are definitely not fine right now...
"After you came back from your immersion program, you didn't talk to me anymore..." Her voice was dark and tinged with hurt that had festered over the time you had spent away.
"What happened to us?" She asked again. The question hung in the air, demanding an answer that you know yourself wouldn't be willing to give.
Because you just want to forget it, forget it all—forget her.
Her words echoed in the air, a single tear slipped down your cheek, your breath growing more labored with each passing second. You couldn't bring yourself to answer her, your throat tight and your body trembling.
"Did you even lo—"
You didn't let her finish, you don't want her to ask you that question because you're afraid about the answer that you had kept hidden, locked in the deep, dark corner of your heart. "What I felt for you was…genuine."
What a nice way to put it.
"Genuine?" She huffed, she could take that one for now, Natasha thought. "If it's genuine then why am I a secret?"
"It was a mistake!" You rushed out before you could even blink. What would people think if they knew? That the top student in the university only got her achievements because she was basically a professor's cock sleeve?
"Nat—Professor…what…what happened before was a mistake. I told you that, right? And you know it too! We talked about it after I went to my immersion, that we'll stop. God, please, you know how wrong it was!" You cried desperately, it's not loud but it's enough for her to hear.
"Mistake?" she snapped and you can see the hurt in her eyes. "The bar, yes. That could be a mistake."
You cleared your throat awkwardly, memories of that night suddenly flooding your mind. The way the two of you danced, the way she laughed, how her lips tasted like whiskey...and then, the realization that hit you both when you're both sobered up. That was the night you slept with her, so much for being drunk you didn't realize it was your professor—the professor you had a crush on.
"What about here?" She pointed to her desk, where she had pounded you for dear life after class because you had joked to her that if you get a perfect quiz then you'll have a reward from her—and you did, she had made you cum twice for the recitation and quiz she had prepared for class, specifically for you. "And there?" You looked towards her sofa, where a lot of things happened between you two. You sucking her when she gets so frustrated during a meeting, riding her if she's too tired from paperworks—all the dirtiest kinks were done on that sofa. Even the softest ones where you both cuddled up after you didn't win the regional college quiz bowl or when you straddled her while teaching her how to tie a necktie.
"Motels, my car, my apartment, here again in my office during prom where you begged me to fuck your ass while wearing your prom queen crown." Her voice grew darker, matching the intense memories playing out in her mind. "Tell me baby, were those a mistake too? It would really hurt my feelings if you said yes."
You sobbed, shaking your head side by side, trying to dispel the memories and she can see the fear and denial in your eyes. You can just walk right now and end this torturous reminiscing. But you felt trapped in place, trapped in those memories, and she was too—she was trapped in the need to make you remember…
"Please, stop." You hiccup, trying to hold back a sob. You continue to shake your head over and over.
"You can't just go around, fuck me up and then say that's it's just a mistake afterwards." She spat, standing to walk towards you.
She loomed over you, her tall frame casting a shadow, making you feel small and vulnerable. She could see you shaking, hear your ragged breathing and it only fueled her frustration.
"Bent over my desk with that perfect little ass in the air, waiting..." She moved closer, her hand reaching out to trace your collarbone.
She watched you scramble to your feet, a dark satisfaction gleaming in her eyes as you approached her desk. She followed close behind, her heels clicking on the floor. When you reached the desk, she pressed a firm hand between your shoulder blades, bending you over it.
As she bent you over, you let out a soft moan, your face pressed against the cool surface of the desk. She could see your body relax, falling into the familiar position. Her hand slowly inched up your skirt, feeling the soft fabric bunch under her fingers. "You still remember, don't you?"
She stepped closer, pressing her length against your backside, feeling the thin barrier of her pants between you two. You found yourself grinding back against her feeling she was growing harder.
"Fuck you're still such a slut for my cock." She smirked as she gripped your waist. "Is it still a mistake? Huh? Slut? You grinding your slutty pussy back against my cock?"
You shook your head side by side, biting your lip to contain your moans.
"I need you to say it, slut." She spat.
"N-no, it's…it's not a mistake, professor." You said in a shaky tone.
Without warning, she reached down and unzipped her pants, pulling out her thick, hard cock. She wrapped her hand around it, stroking it slowly behind your back, the tip rubbing against your ass through your panties. "Fuck, I've missed this," she pressed the head of her cock against your ass, rubbing it against your panties. "Gonna fuck this tight little pussy again, just like old times."
She pushed aside your panties, revealing your vulnerable entrance, "Missed how perfectly you take me..." In one smooth motion, she thrust forward, burying herself deep inside you.
"N-nat!" Your back arched even further as you cried out a breath.
"I missed you calling me by my name." She said in a ragged breath, "I want you to shout it so Stark can hear it behind those doors." Her other hand reached around to grab your hair, tangling it in her fist as she pulled your head back, forcing you to arch your back further and to look at the door of her office where Tony was waiting. You didn't know how she knew Tony was waiting outside for you.
Your voice only seemed to spur her on. She began pounding into you, the rhythm steady and intense. She pulled out slightly, just the tip still inside you, before slamming back in with renewed ferocity. "You made me struggle, everyday, seeing you walk around in those fucking skimpy clothes...and letting anyone touch you, but not me." Each word was punctuated by a brutal thrust. "I didn't reach you because I respect you so much, love you so fucking much. And I know you will run back to me eventually…"
"But you didn't…fuck, you didn't come back to me. Am I…am I that easy? Y/N?" She asked with so much vulnerability and hate. "Do you know how hard it is to watch you go on for a day without me? When I couldn't?"
You felt some hot liquid dripping down onto your bare back, your clothes being bunched up…are those tears? You are too dumbed down to think but you noticed how Natasha held back a sob, covering up trying to sound cold and resentful towards you.
"Natasha…" you called out to her, you wanted to hold her against you but she snapped forward continuously and sloppily, hitting a spot inside you that made you whimper. "F-fuck!" You cried, it was loud and that made you cover up your own mouth.
Her climax hit and she buried herself to the hilt inside you, holding perfectly still as she rode out her orgasm. Waves of her hot cum filled your pussy, coating your insides, but she didn't say a word, she didn't tell you or even warn you. She just stayed frozen, her body shaking with the intensity of her release.
She gazed down, biting her trembling lip as she observed her cock, slick with both your arousal and her release, still buried deep inside you. A shudder ran through her as she felt the last drops of cum seep out on the tip of her shaft. Slowly pulling out, she couldn't help but moan softly at the erotic sight of her thick cum slowly oozing out of your well-used pussy. You innocently wiggle your ass as you move and it only intensified the lewd display.
You stood all by yourself and she calmly situated herself back into her leather office chair, cleaning herself up, refusing to look at your trembling form.
"N-nat?" You called, a tear running down your cheeks. You saw her reddened eyes and flushed cheeks—you were right—she was crying, but so are you. You slowly backed away, frantically tugging at your disheveled clothes, you could feel her cum still dripping slowly into your panties.
"Nat? Can we talk?" You tried again, you didn't like the feeling of this. You felt used.
"You can go now." She said flatly, her voice devoid of any emotion.
You walked towards the door, desperation etched on your face, hoping for some kind word, any sign of affection. You hated yourself for expecting some that you wanted to slap yourself. You frantically swiped at your wet cheeks, trying your best not to break down in front of her. But no matter how hard you rubbed, more tears spilled out. You couldn't catch a break, each blink bringing forth a new wave of salty drops.
And her? She just sat there, staring at her computer screen, her expression cold and heartless as if nothing happened.
She has done her plan for you anyways. So there is nothing to talk about anymore, the last thing on her list is you running back to her.
As you rushed your way out, you saw your bag on the chair with a bouquet of flowers. "Hey, Y/N. This is for you, I had to leave for the chess team. I really hate doing this but I'd like you to be my date on senior night. —T.S."
You could only huff, your brows pinching together to hold the tears that are threatening to fall again. But you weren't able to help it, you ended up having a break down outside her office, with the flowers on your arm and the evidence of what she did to you still oozing inside of you.
⧗
"Ladies and gentlemen, faculty, family, friends..." Your voice cracked slightly, betraying your nerves, but you steadied yourself, refusing to let the ghosts of the past dictate this moment. "We've worked tirelessly, overcome obstacles, and in some cases, experienced pain both personal and academic."
You glanced down at your notes, a faint smile playing on your lips as you continued. "I'd like to thank my family and friends for their unwavering support, my blockmates for turning sleepless nights into unforgettable memories, and lastly, I want to express my deepest gratitude to the professors who have molded us into the graduates we are today."
As you scanned the audience, your gaze landed on Professor Romanoff, who sat upright, her expression unreadable. You swallowed hard, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you. With a deep breath, you concluded your speech. "Thank you, and congratulations to the class of 2025!"
The graduation ceremony drew to a close, and the air was filled with joyous cheers and the clicking of cameras. As you mingled with your fellow graduates, collecting well-wishes and hugs, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched. It seemed like everyone was drawn to you—your classmates, their families, even some of the professors. You were the center of attention, the summa cum laude, the valedictorian.
As you made your way through the crowd, congratulations ringing in your ears, a different sort of tension gripped you. You shifted uncomfortably, trying to ignore the growing pressure and the whispers that began to rise around you. Your swelling stomach was becoming more prominent by the second, stretching the fabric of your gown. You caught a few raised eyebrows and exchanged looks of confusion among your peers, their eyes glued to you.
The whispers grew louder, more urgent, as realization dawned on everyone. The batch valedictorian delivered her speech with a baby bump that had been concealed beneath flowing gowns and baggy clothes all semester, but now...there was no hiding it. Exactly four months along, your secret was suddenly the most spoken topic at this joyous event.
Tony stood near enough to be seen by you, a bouquet of roses hiding behind his back. He had been about to confess his feelings, to tell you that your intellect and beauty had captivated him all these years you had been rivals. But now, as he noticed the unmistakable curve of your belly…you noticed how he stepped back. His perfectly prepared speech shattered in his mind.
He walked away from you as if he was disappointed in you. At the same time you could feel the shift in the atmosphere, not just from him but the disappointment radiating off the crowd like a physical force.
You tried to smile to those around you to mask the dam that is going to break soon, but you still held your chin up with the little courage and confidence you had left in you.
"Mama, I'll just talk to someone. I'll meet you in the car." Your mother has been very supportive of you, yes, she scolded you when she got the news that you were pregnant. She always looked up and expected more from you, but still, she accepted and took care of you.
With a deep breath, you marched down the corridor towards her office. There were no people around and that's when it suddenly hit you. Tears started rushing down your cheek as your heels clicked urgently against the polished floor even though your OB gyne told you to stop wearing elevated shoes, you wiped them away frantically because you don't want to face her feeling vulnerable like this. The determination etched on your face chased away any lingering doubts. You were going to face this head-on, consequences be damned.
As you pushed open the door, she glanced up from her desk, surprise momentarily flashing across her features before smoothing into a smirk.
She leaned back in her leather chair, folding her hands atop the polished wood. "Y/N, to what do I owe this unexpected visit?"
"Natasha…" you stepped forward, your hand traveling down your stomach. Your built up mask breaking, feeling vulnerable and exposed in front of her. You held back your tears, shaming yourself. "I have never been with anyone but you. I'm pregnant…I—I think you got me—"
She got your message, of course she did. Because this is exactly how she planned it to be, her claiming you in a way you didn't expect, you running back to her all vulnerable, and her turn saying…
"It was a mistake."
#natasha romanoff#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanoff x you#natasha romanoff au#natasha romanoff fanfic#black widow
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hi! can i request a little bitch blurb where oscar walks in on them 😂
FIRST LITTLE BITCH BLURB OF THE YEAR!! honestly i could never get tired of writing for them and requests keep coming so, enjoy!
READ LITTLE BITCH HERE
"You're sure Oscar won't be home for hours?" Carlos murmurs against your neck as he presses you into the kitchen counter, his hands sliding under the oversized shirt you'd stolen from him.
"Mhm," you tilt your head to give him better access. "Simulator day at McLaren. He'll be gone until evening."
"Good," his accent thickens as he nips at your pulse point. "Because seeing you in my shirt all morning has been driving me crazy, mi amor."
You smirk, running your hands down his chest. "Oh? Is that why you've been following me around the apartment like a lost puppy?"
"I have not-" he starts to protest, but you cut him off by pulling his shirt over his head.
"Really?" you trace the muscles of his abdomen. "So you didn't deliberately walk into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth? Or need help reaching something in the top cabinet that you can definitely reach yourself?"
Carlos growls low in his throat. "You're teasing me."
"Always," you grin, but it turns into a gasp as he lifts you onto the counter.
"Careful, hermosa," he steps between your legs, hands gripping your thighs. "You know what happens when you tease…"
"Maybe I want to find out," you challenge, wrapping your legs around his waist.
His eyes darken. "Dios mío, the things you do to me…"
"Show me," you whisper against his lips.
He crashes his mouth to yours, one hand tangling in your hair while the other slides up your thigh. You moan as he deepens the kiss, tasting of coffee and something uniquely Carlos.
"Mi amor," he breathes between kisses, "you're wearing too many clothes."
"Even your shirt?" you tease, knowing how much he loves seeing you in his clothes.
"Especially my shirt," he tugs at the hem.
The key turns in the lock of your shared apartment with Oscar, but you're far too distracted by Carlos' lips on your neck to notice.
"MY EYES!" Oscar's voice cracks. "IN THE KITCHEN? REALLY?"
You and Carlos spring apart, but it's too late. Oscar is standing there, one hand dramatically covering his eyes, looking like he's contemplating jumping out the window.
"Oscar!" you squeak, hurriedly adjusting Carlos' shirt that you'd borrowed. "You're… home early."
"This is MY HOME!" Oscar protests, still not looking. "Where I EAT! In THIS KITCHEN!"
Carlos has the decency to look somewhat embarrassed, though you can see him fighting back a smile. "Lo siento, Oscar…"
"Don't 'lo siento' me, mate," Oscar points blindly in Carlos's general direction. "That's my SISTER!"
"We weren't…" you try to explain.
"NO!" Oscar cuts you off. "No explanations. I don't want to know. I will never be able to unsee this. I'm moving out. I'm quitting F1. I'm becoming a hermit in Tasmania."
"You're being dramatic," you roll your eyes.
"DRAMATIC?" Oscar finally uncovers his eyes, immediately regrets it, and covers them again. "Carlos still doesn't have a shirt on!"
Carlos looks down at his bare chest as if just remembering this fact. "Ah, sorry about that…"
"Sorry about- THIS IS A COMMON AREA!" Oscar's voice keeps rising in pitch. "We have RULES!"
"Rules?" Carlos raises an eyebrow at you.
"Rule number one," Oscar recites, "no funny business in common areas. Rule number two, no walking around without clothes. Rule number three…"
"Okay, okay," you interrupt, feeling your face heat up. "We get it. We're sorry."
"I'm telling Lando," Oscar threatens.
"Don't you dare!"
"Oh, I'm daring. I'm traumatized. I need emotional support."
Carlos finally breaks, letting out a laugh. "Come on, Oscar. It's not that bad."
"Not that- mate, you're practically my brother-in-law. I do NOT need to see you trying to devour my sister in our kitchen!"
"Brother-in-law?" you and Carlos say simultaneously, though with very different tones.
Oscar groans. "Oh god, now I've given him ideas. Perfect. This is perfect. I'm calling Mum."
"You will NOT call Mum!" you lunge for his phone.
"Watch me!" he dodges, still keeping one hand over his eyes, which results in him walking straight into the wall.
"Dios mío," Carlos mutters, finally grabbing his shirt from where it had been discarded. "Oscar, I'm dressed now. You can look."
Oscar cautiously peeks through his fingers. "This is going on my therapy bill."
"Add it to the collection," you sigh.
"I will! Right next to 'sending nudes to Carlos' and 'that time in the motorhome when I thought you were going over strategy.'"
"That WAS strategy!" you protest.
"Strategy doesn't involve THAT MUCH SPANISH!"
Carlos is fully laughing now, watching the siblings' exchange with obvious amusement.
"This isn't funny!" Oscar points at him. "You! You're supposed to be the responsible one!"
"Me?" Carlos tries to look innocent. "I'm very responsible."
"Responsible people don't seduce my sister in shared kitchens!"
"To be fair," Carlos grins, "she seduced me."
"NOPE!" Oscar practically runs from the room. "NOPE NOPE NOPE. I'm going to Lando's. Forever. Don't call me. I'll be in therapy."
The door slams behind him, and you can hear him muttering all the way down the hall.
Carlos turns to you, eyes dancing with mischief. "So… brother-in-law, huh?"
"Don't," you warn, but you're fighting a smile.
"Because you know," he steps closer, "that could be arranged…"
"Carlos!"
"I'm just saying," he pulls you back against him, "maybe we should give Oscar a real reason to need therapy…"
From down the hall, Oscar's voice carries: "I FORGOT MY PHONE AND I CAN STILL HEAR YOU!"
You burst out laughing as Carlos quickly steps away again.
"I'm moving out!" Oscar announces as he retrieves his phone. "And YOU," he points at Carlos, "are paying for my therapy!"
"Fair enough," Carlos agrees easily.
Oscar pauses at the door. "And sister?"
"Yes?"
"Next time? Use HIS apartment!"
As the door slams again, Carlos turns to you with a raised eyebrow. "You know… that's not a bad idea…"
"Carlos Sainz!"
"What? I'm being responsible," he grins. "Just like Oscar wanted."
You shake your head, laughing. "You're impossible."
"Impossibly in love," he corrects, then adds more seriously, "though maybe we should get our own place…"
Your heart skips. "Yeah?"
"Sí," he pulls you close again. "Somewhere with a very private kitchen…"
"I heard that!" Oscar's voice comes through the door one final time. "I'm telling Mum!"
This time, you both burst out laughing.
Poor Oscar. Maybe you should start looking at apartments sooner rather than later…
For everyone's sake.
#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz fanfiction#carlos sainz blurb#carlos sainz smau#carlos sainz x yn#carlos sainz angst#f1 x reader#f1 fanfiction#cs55 x reader#formula 1 fanfiction#formula 1 reader#carlos sainz imagine#harrysfolklore#cs55 fic#carlos sainz fic#f1 fic#f1 grid x reader#little bitch#carlos sainz#carlos sainz smut
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Crestfallen - Part 3
Author’s Note: I made up a lot of sicknesses/random things that have never been mentioned throughout the actual ACOTAR series! The breaks in text are going back and forth between the two rooms.
Overall Summary: Although you were born in the Day Court, you've been living in the Night Court for a century. You're close with the inner circle but what will happen when a new healer is brought into the picture?
Part 3 Summary: Clara has been found out, but what has she done to you?
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Warnings: talks of injuries
"I'm sure I have no idea what you mean." Clara said softly, a small confused smile on her lips.
"When I asked you to help her, you said "I didn't do this one." What does that mean." Nesta snarled at the young healer.
Mor seemed deep in thought, Azriel and Cassian were equally confused, and Nesta seemed ready to pounce.
"Now that you mention it, I do remember hearing her say that." Mor spoke up.
"You better tell us what's up right now." Cassian growled.
At this point, Clara's smile faultered. She looked around for a way out but noticed the four of them had her surrounded and they wouldn't stop until they knew the truth. She may be evil but she wasn't dumb.
"It wasn't even that bad." The healer confessed.
"What have you done?" Azriel questioned, his voice deadly calm.
------
Madja had seen cases like yours before but never this bad. The cut on your back had traces of venom in it. A rare venom that used the victim's power against them.
She needed to extract every last ounce of it that was in your system but it was trickier than it sounded. If she took too much too fast, it could essentially tear your powers from your very being which would kill you.
"I need you to enter her mind. Once you are in, I will start to remove the poison from her system, you just need to let me know if her mind starts fading." Madja explained to Rhys.
"Are you sure this will work?" Rhys asked.
"Of course I am, boy. Now do as I say." She said quickly.
Rhys tried to enter your mind but all he could see was blinding light. There was no where for him to enter, it was almost as if the light was burning him. He pulled away, never feeling anything like it before.
"I can't get in, her light, it burns me." He explained to the healer.
"Listen to me. It might burn a bit but you will be fine. On the other hand, if we don't fix her right now her light will continue to burn brighter until it has consumed her. Perhaps we could get the shadowsinger in here to help." Madja told Rhys, hoping Azriel's shadows could help.
Rhys immediately spoke to Az through his mind and he appeared within seconds.
"What can I help with?" He rushed out his question.
"I cannot enter her mind, it is too bright, painfully so. Could you somehow use your shadows to help me get through?" Rhys explained the situation.
"I can try." Az responded.
------
Cassian looked towards where Azriel just stood, knowing he went to help you.
"I have no clue what's wrong with Y/N, honest. I swear I didn't think it would go this far." Clara pleaded with the group.
"You better start explaining before I unleash Nesta upon you." Cassian threatened.
Nesta had been eerily still, like a predator hunting her prey. Clara was visibly scared. Her hands were shaking, terrified of what Nesta would do to her.
"Ok listen. I've had a huge crush on Azriel for years now, so when I saw you guys needed another healer I took that as my opportunity." The "healer" explained.
"We've only known you for 2 weeks, how could you have a crush on him for years?" Mor asked.
"Everyone knows Azriel, the mighty shadowsinger, the feared spymaster of the Night Court. Well...when I met him all he wanted to talk about was Y/N. About how much I'd love her personality, how she's so great," Clara went on, "so I was a little jealous of her."
By this point, Mor was dissappointed she didn't believe you. She assumed you were exhausted from your mission and the guilt she felt was awful.
"When she showed up to my shop I got angry that she was back so soon. Rhys wanted me to do a check up on her and all I saw was a tiny cut on her back so I thought she'd be fine and I just wanted her to leave." She continued to explain.
Nesta was fuming by this point. Not only because of what she did to her friend but also because she didn't see through Clara sooner.
"Wait wait wait, all this is happening to Y/N because you're jealous of her? What kind of vile creature are you?" Cassian seathed.
"I didn't mean for any of this to happen-" She began to plead when Azriel appeared in the room again.
------
Rhys re-entered your mind, this time with Azriel's shadows being a protective barrier around him. It was way easier this time but he wasn't sure how long Az could hold it.
"Alright, start." Rhys told Madja.
The healer began her work. Unweaving the venom from your powers, from your soul. She was about halfway through when Rhys called out.
"STOP! I can feel her fading!" Rhys was panting, he was exerting all his energy.
Madja pulled out, confusion taking over.
"This doesn't make sense. It's as if another energy is pulling her powers. Like an untouched ball of energy using up the rest of her." She explained.
"What do we do?" Azriel questioned.
"It needs another energy form to pull from..." She started.
"My shadows." He whispered.
Before anyone could stop him he sent them out to you and that little ball inside of you immediately began to absorb them. He screamed out in pain and Rhys and Madja quickly began to work.
It took only a few moments more for Madja to finish yet it felt like an eternity for the two males. It had been way easier now that Az was distracting whatever it was inside of you. The venom was successfully extracted and the room was eerily quiet. Rhys and Az both fell back, feeling drained from using their powers in such a way.
"Why isn't she waking up?" The shadowsinger whispered, making his way toward you.
"It must have to do with whatever is deep inside her. I need to do a full body work up on her to see what is going on." She spoke and started right away.
Az felt a tear slide down his cheek and quickly brushed it away. The High Lord stayed back to give you space to be checked out but he felt the same as the male next to him, worried and hopeless.
It felt like an eternity when Madja spoke up again.
"There is a substance inside her nose. Almost like a powder but I haven't seen it before. I'll have to take it back with me to break the molecules down. I'm afraid Y/N will have to stay in this state for now." She told the two males.
Azriel's head shot toward Madja at her words.
"Wait, did you say a powder was in her nose?" He muttered.
She just nodded her head in response, holding up the sample she collected. Your words from earlier popped into his head.
"Y/N told me 'she blew some powder in my face which caused everything'." Azriel stated coldly and winnowed away.
------
The shadowsinger appeared in front of Clara, his shadows surrounding her and pinning her against the wall. She shrieked in either pain or fear but he didn't care. You were in danger and he would stop at nothing to help you.
"What did you blow in Y/N's face?" He demanded.
"What?!" She feigned innocence.
Azriel held up the vial of powder close to her face. His shadows squeezed tighter around her frame.
"It's nothing serious," She weezed out, "It's a mix of vamire, spitfire aconite, and root of igranium. All it's supposed to do is heighten the pain/sickness they already have. I had an antidote that I gave her. It's in my bag."
Mor quickly grabbed the bag from the female, searching for both the powder and the antidote. She handed them both to Az.
"And why would you posion her just to give her an antidote?" Cass asked.
"I wanted to impress Azriel." She whimpered looking down.
"What's in the antidote?" Az shouted at her making her flinch.
"A..Adlirin and G..G..Green Gilliflower." She sputtered in terror.
The shadows left along with their master and she fell to the floor.
------
"Both of these are in her system," Az spoke holding the vials, "Vamire, Spitfire Aconite, Root of Igranium, Aldirin, and Green Gilliflower."
Madja's eyes grew wide and a bad feeling shot through both Az and Rhys at her reaction.
"This isn't good." She said, looking over your unconscious form.
Taglist
@rcarbo1 @acourtofbatboydreams @bravo-delta-eccho @tele86 @theravenphoenix26
@anoneyesee @ren-ni @kabekusa @isa1b2h3 @i-am-infinite
@historygeekqueen @mariahoedt @fr0stf4ll
#acotar#acotar imagine#azriel#azriel acotar#azriel fanfic#azriel fluff#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#azriel spymaster#azriel x you#azriel imagine#azriel angst#a court of thorns and roses
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Morally ambiguous corpo scientist gets transfered to a "exciting new project" only to find it's a Predator breeding program.
Breeding Program
Character: T'a'yta (Male Yautja) x AFAB!Reader
Warnings: I'M WARNING YOU NOW, I WENT FERAL BADLY. Rape/Non con contents. Sex pollen, SMUT, very rough sex, knotting, breeding. Read at your own risk, seriously.
Word Count: 3159
Summary: As a scientist, the ability to move up in the world was amazing. To surpass people you thought were the top dogs in your program and placed in a new section. A new program. You hadn't been briefed but the pay was phenomena. Nothing to complain about there. You met up with Amelia, the head of the program, at the facility and get a tour. At the end, she takes you down a hallway, opens a door to a pitch black room. Then shoves you in.
Author Note: I'm warning you all. This seriously might be the darkest thing I've ever wrote. I don't know why my brain went this route, but it did. Please, I'm warning you. If you don't like it, don't read it.
Masterlist
Ao3
After the years to finally work underneath this team of scientist, you were astonished to find they had referred you higher up the chain. To a new exciting project that could change the world. The opening letter they gave you easily hyped you up. Before you knew it, you were accepting the new position. Your items were going to be transferred over at a later date.
The new team wanted to meet you so bad. That’s what they told you. That’s what you believed. You found yourself at the new building that had just been finished. This was nerve racking but exciting at the same time. All new equipment and gear to test out. State of the art equipment has been entrusted to you. Out of all the people, you’ve been promoted to such a position. This was destiny!
Smiles greeted you when you first walked through the doors. The team lead was here in person to greet you the moment you stepped onto the new grounds.
Amelia says your name with a soft smile that complimented her features. “It’s so good to see you! We’ve been waiting for you to finally arrive. I hope the travel wasn’t bad?” She guides you towards the elevator and presses the button. The doors open and welcome you aboard. You step in after Amelia, nearly bouncing off of the ground with each step. A dream becoming reality.
“No,” you shake your head. “It wasn’t bad. The flight was beautiful though. Being that high up.” The memory of all the gorgeous clouds that covered the sky. Then, seeing as far as the eye could see. All of the land that went on and on. You loved it. “I’m so excited to be here too. It’s been my dream to work in an environment like this. When do I get to meet the rest of the team?”
There weren’t much for details about the project besides how cool it would be for you to join the team. Of course, you couldn’t say no. Not when a job like this could be the last one you would ever need. Plus, the pay was… wow. Amazing!
The elevator’s doors slid open to reveal a long hallway with black tile floors and grey walls. Little décor filled the empty space. You didn’t mind it. The place was still new. Maybe they hadn’t gotten around to fully furnishing the space.
Both of you walked out. Amelia laughed. “Oh, they’re around. They just didn’t want to crowd you and overwhelm you on your introduction day. Today is just meant to show you around, learn the space before the people, you know?” You nodded along, agreeing with everything she said. You already felt on the verge of being overwhelmed with a different workspace and people.
“Aw, alright. If you can, tell them I can’t wait to meet them, please?” you asked of her. All you wanted to do was impress the team more than you already have. To show them that you have a passion for science. It’s your livelihood.
“I sure can do that for you.” Amelia took the closet right down the hallway from the elevator. Her steps were precise with black two-inch heels. “They’ll be happy to know you’re thinking about them.”
A long, rectangular glass window was built into the wall. Amelia stops and motions towards the glass. Where you see tables of equipment just sitting there, ready for use. They are brand new, still shiny and lacking even fingerprints. Your eyes sparkle, hands twitching desperate to touch everything. But, you tamper down the feeling.
“This is amazing already, Amelia. I can’t wait to see the rest of the building.” When she smiles at you again, it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “When will be my first day? I hadn’t gotten any emails about it.” You were concerned that maybe something as wrong with your emails. You needed to get everything right. This was your dream job. Over your dead body will you let this go.
She waves her hand like she’s brushing it off. “We’ve been having a little issue with our emails lately. Currently, we have you starting as soon as possible. Whenever you are ready.” Seriously?! That meant you could probably start today!
The tour continued down the same hall, taking a right. “Really? Is it possible I could start today? I would love to get my hands on the tools as soon as possible.” Hopefully you don’t overdo it with your passion to work. At least in this field.
“Of course. I’m glad because we were planning for your first day to start right now.” She shows you to another room similar to room before with a more open space. This side looked like it dealt with more chemicals than biology. “The team isn’t here today. But I’m more than happy to let you roam after the tour, get to know the place.”
This possibly couldn’t be happening! God, you were in heaven. No one could smack the smile off of your face. No matter how hard they tried.
“Thank you. I’m so glad I can start today. I promise not to let you down.” Another room is showed to you. “I’ve had a passion for science since I was little. I know I’m going to be a great fit for the team.”
“I know you won’t let us down.” The two of your continue further down a different hall. The doors become less welcoming and more… prison like. As if they’re trying to keep something in. In the heat of the moment, you silence the alarm going off in your head. “I know you will be a great fit. Very great fit to our team.”
There’s something in the way she said that nearly threw you off. Your brows furrowed for only a second before she stopped in front of a door. This one looked even more heavily modified than any of the others you’ve seen. It’s at the end of a hallway, furthest from the rest of the facility.
“Ah, here we are. I can’t believe the tour already has come to an end.” She almost sounded genuinely sad to end the tour. Amelia places her hand on a screen next to the entrance. “This is where I leave you to your work, doctor.”
The metal slab slid into a hidden pocket and revealed a dark, pitch black room. You tilted your head and peered inside. Maybe the lights will turn on by motion. You turn towards her. “Hey the lights-“
Hands shoved at you from behind. A scream left your lips as you stumble forward before falling to your hands and knees. The darkness instantly crowds you, trying to suck you into its being. You whipped your head around to find Amelia standing at the entrance with an evil grin. A shudder ran its course through your body. Your breathing started to increase.
“Have fun with our new… project.” Then, the door snapped close and sealed you in the pitch blackness that threatened to consume you whole.
Your heart thundered in your ears. Blindly, you stood on unsteadily legs with your arms out to feel around. One step forward almost sent you back to the ground. The shakiness of your entire being was throwing you off. You took another step of faith only to be blinded by white light that sent you back on your butt.
Pain stung at your sensitive eyes. The change didn’t take you long to peel them open and see the room you’ve been thrown into.
And the beast who watched with rapt attention.
Terror gripped at your heart. You didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t even breathe. It’s bright, vibrant eyes that nearly glowed were pinned on your trembling form. It’s barrel chest heaved with each deep intake of air it took. Never did it look away from you.
Something about it made you feel like prey in the sight of a predator. It just needed to sink its claws into your fragile flesh.
“You might be wondering what this thing is and why we’ve brought you here?” Amelia’s voice broke the tension in the air coming from a speaker system. You yelped at the sudden sound and scrambled backwards. The humanoid creature observed every move you made. The moment you moved, it roared with a piercing sound and lunged at you.
Heavy chains secured it to the wall. They creaked under its strength as its wild eyes looked at you. Its arm clawed at the air as if it could pull you closer. Your back smacked against the nearest wall as you stared at the creature. Fear evident in your eyes. You watched as the beast cried and spat spittle with each attempt to get to you. But, thankfully the chains held.
“This is the project we’ve raved about. Meet… a Yautja. An alien from outer space,” Amelia lets the words settle for a dramatic pause. In the mean time, the creature has finally calmed down once it realized it couldn’t get to you for the moment. “Well, we needed someone to test something out for us. Of course, I didn’t want to use any of our wonderful staff here. So, I choose you. Our new test subject.”
Test subject?! “For what!?” you screamed at her, hoping she could hear you. Hear the anger that wiggled through the terror.
“For our breeding program.” You blinked once. Twice. Three times. Then, the words finally sunk in completely. “We’ve captured this Yautja when he landed in LA. We gave him an aphrodisiac. Now, he’s become a mindless, breeding male. And you, our dear test subject, will be the first. We hope you survive.”
Silence entered the air afterwards. The speakers no longer buzzed with energy. Her words flew wildly inside of your mind, bouncing around every corner. You tried to make sense, come to terms with what she’s put you into. But it… you couldn’t settle. They’re using you for a breeding program with an alien. An alien that looked ready to tear you apart rather then- you stopped the thoughts. You swallowed thickly and weakly stood on shaky legs.
In horror, you observed the chains clicking open. Once the last one was released, there wasn’t even time to register the brown, humanoid shape flash across the room. Strong, massive hands snatched your throat and the front of your shirt. The fabric was torn from your form and discarded without any regard. Next, your pants and underwear were taken care of in the same matter.
You screamed and tried to kick and punch the mindless beast. All of your strikes hit. Yet none of them deterred him. It seemed like they didn’t even tickle him. It forced you face down, ass up underneath it. The entire palm of his hand gripped the side of your head, keeping you pinned in a primed position.
It leaned down and covered you with its entire body. Heat radiated off of it like a firepit. Flames flickering to lick at your clammy skin. You shuttered at the difference of temperature. It’s free hand reached between your legs but paused for a moment.
“I-I ca-an’t stop,” a throaty, croaky voice whispered into your ear. You tensed up underneath the beast before jerking at the touch of its fingers. They glided through your slit, gathering what slick had pooled. Your body betraying you at the knowledge of a monster getting ahold of you.
That almost… sounded like an apology of some kind. The scientists have turned this alien into a mindless, breeding machine with the aphrodisiac. The poor thing couldn’t control its actions. All it could do was follow instinct, despite the difference of species.
A whine surged past your lips when the wet pad of its finger rubbed around your hardening nub. At least, he was trying to make it bearable. You felt something blazing hot and throbbing slide between your open legs, rubbing against your slit. A moan left your lips before you could stop yourself. You didn’t stop struggling but your attempts were weakening.
The tip was tapered by the feeling of it. You felt it nudge against your entrance. He paused for a moment, as if fighting the drugs that filled his system. Then, his hips snapped forward and full sheathed his cock into you. You cried out against the dirty, concrete floor and clawed for escape. The beast added more weight to pin you down and began a pace you couldn’t comprehend. All before you had a chance to make sense of what’s up and what’s down.
Each thrust nearly sent you flying towards the wall. If it wasn’t for his hand on your head, you would’ve been smooshed against it. Your eyes were clenched shut. “Fuck! S-slow… slow down!” you begged for relief, even for a moment. The beast deepened a growl and quickened his thrusts somehow. The pain only increased with pleasure. You were barely able to breath as he thrusted into you sent the air out of your lungs.
His other hand not holding your head gripped your hip in a bruising hold. Sharp talons punctured your flesh. Beads of red pooling to the surface then dripping down your belly and onto the cold, unforgiving floor. There was nothing you could do to stop him. All you were able to do was hold on for the unrelenting ride.
To ease some of the ache, you reached between your legs and circled two digits around your puffy clit. The stretch of his massive, thick cock pressed against every little nerve you had. At the touch, you mewled and quickened the speed almost to match his.
Your bottom lip was pinched between dull teeth, trying to hold in your noises. It was embarrassing. To take enjoyment out of this. But, fuck. The creature took up every inch of available space inside of you then some more. You could feel the way your stomach distended each time he sheathed himself to the hilt. There was something expanding at the base of him as well. It would catch each time he pushed in and out.
Thick fingers gripped the strands of your hair and yanked your head back. One arm slapped against the smooth concrete floors. You squealed and released the hold on your lip, forced to let everyone know how you were feeling.
The pleasure building in your stomach was amounting to something. Despite the ache and pains this gave you, you were feeling the coil tightening. You rewetted your fingers with your own juices before going back to work. The way they easily slid over your puffy clit had you seeing stars.
It continued to build and build. He lets go of your hair, letting your upper torso to lie back on the ground. You almost curled into yourself, confused about the nearing end, and panted heavily. “Oh, fuck. H-how?!” you muttered to yourself.
White flashed across your vision. Your walls clamped down on his thick shaft, trying to suck him in deeper. A weak, pathetic squeak escaped your vocal cords, the only sound you could make. Your entire body tensing up and rode out the waves of the overwhelming pleasure.
Amidst your orgasm, the beast growled in victory then pushed his hips flush with yours. A loud, deafening roar tore from his throat. You felt his cock swell inside of you, the base locking him inside of you. The ball of flesh pressed against the sensitive bundle of nerves just on the inside of your cunt. You trembled and shook underneath him. The ecstasy far too much for you to handle.
As the last of the pleasure started to fade away, you slumped weakly onto the floor, hips still held up by his hand. The feeling of the thick, swollen flesh boarded uncomfortable. You trembled and attempted to pull your hips away from his.
The creature snarled threateningly and ensnared your entire waist with an arm. You fearfully tensed up. But, he calmed down afterwards and buried his face into the crook of your neck.
Deadly fangs grazed across your flesh, pebbling the skin with goosebumps. Vibrations ran down from your spine. Barely a sound made. He rubbed his face against your skin, coating you with his scent.
You were thankful for that to be over. For the most part. He was still lodged deep inside of you with no way of pulling out. He wouldn’t let you. You took in deep, lungsful of air, and tried to regulate your breathing.
Some time past when you felt him start to deflate inside of you. With a grunt, the creature jerked his hips back. The ball of flesh popped free from your stretched entrance. He pulled away. Fresh air flushed over you and made you shiver at the coolness of the air.
Yet, you weren’t cold for long. The same heat from before prodded at your entrance. Your exhausted state immediately drained away. You jerked up and attempted to get on your hands. A massive hand slammed you back onto the ground. The alien snarled another warning to you then sunk all the way to the base inside of you again.
It wasn’t as painful as before. The earlier treatment had you stretched out beyond your limits. You still keened at the feeling and squirmed. He rewrapped his arm around your waist and pulled your hips flush with his.
“Again?” you asked with a cry. The first round was punishing enough. You didn’t know if you could survive another go with him.
He pulled his hips back until the tip was still sitting just inside of you. With a growl, the beast plowed back into you without any mercy.
The aphrodisiac was a powerful drug on him. It forced him to go on. All the way till you reached the verge of blacking out. Either from exhaustion or the amount of orgasms he pulled from you. You swore he went until his balls had been emptied inside of you, filling you with his seed. The inside of your legs coated with it. With a small puddle pooling between your trembling legs.
Finally, the creature collapsed to the side and pulled you with him. His knot was still lodged inside of you, keeping the contents of his last orgasm deep inside of you. You had no energy to fight. You let him take you, unable to barely keep your eyes open enough to see. They were filled with blurry tears.
His arm tightened around your waist, keeping you locked to him. You groaned, deep from your chest, eyes shut at this point.
“If you can hear me… I am sorry for my actions,” he muttered lowly into your ear. Only for you hear. You didn’t have the energy to answer. Just lying there, in his arms, letting sleep take you away. “I promise you. I’ll get us out of here.”
Hope fluttered to life in your chest.
#yautja#predator#yautja x reader#yautja x you#alien vs predator#predator x reader#yautja x human#predator x you#predator x human#x reader
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Okay. So far I've done every romance path except Dr. Mortem so they're next.
I can't say I have a disliked romance path. They're all so good in their own ways. Each one is so fun. Especially the romances where they can figure out your the villain but don't tell the others yet (I mean I do non-killing runs as my canon so I don't know what it's like if you're murder-happy.) I think I'm fond of each one for their own reason.
Ortega's is just nice because of how much history is between you two. Depending on your past choices it feels like something that was always supposed to happen/walking back into lost comfort as better people (or at least Ortega has become a more emotionally intelligent person. A little.) It feels a little like soulmates.
Chen is bitter sweet if he has a high clue stat. I said it in another post but there is something so tasty that he knows, he's begging you between kisses to stop doing what you're doing because once he has proof he has to do his duty, but for now he is kissing you and loving you and there is no doubt he will keep loving you after he stops you. I think the ending where your Sidestep stays with him is extra sweet.
Argent is a go-to if you want spicy with a little sweet. The hero/villain romance dynamic is so good with their scenes. Kiss on the bridge, biting your lip if you confess you're the villian, her accepting that it too and is willing to let things be as long as you don't kill. How cute she is on the date and when she brings you to her place. She's such an interesting character with an incredible backstory and even more to explore. I love her scenes. Also it's just fun to flirt while trying to claw each other's eyes out. That's my shit.
Herald, my golden boy. He's so incredibly sweet and kind and naive. You're his hero but even finding out you're some mean, bitter broken person he still looks at you like you put the stars in the sky. He's so incredibly insightful and is worried about you. He wants to treat you gently. It shows if you tell him you're a re-gene. If you want nearly pure-fluff he's such a good path to go on.
Sorry this turned into a mini character ramble for Argent and Herald. I just really adore their characters. I'll update this later with my thoughts on Mortem.
#fhr#fallen hero#fallen hero: rebirth#chargestep#fallen hero: retribution#lady argent#marshal steel#fhr herald#ricardo ortega
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2024 art recap
My favorite piece from each month! I can't say I've grown much over the past year, but perhaps a little. Open the post to see my reflection on each piece. 💙
Tw for first two months mentions of $H
January
This was the only thing I could find from January, since my old phone got busted and all the dates on my photos got messed up. But luckily I really like it anyway so I guess it's my favorite of the month by default! During this time I was still battling with s3lf harm and so this character was supposed to represent that. Yes it's edgy, no I wouldn't have picked this one if I had any other image from January. This one was also very experimental, I've used this brush a grand total of 1 time other than this one. I felt it fit the aesthetic.
February
Again, this period was sort of like the dark ages in the fact that most of my images got screwed with after switching phones, so I don't have many drawings that I know were from February. However, this one again is a favorite of mine in general so it's not so bad. This is the only other time I used that brush. I also created this character as a sort of way to cope with my s3lf harm urges, except she's far older than the last one. This image doesn't feature it, but they have lots of scars and often open/bandaged self-inflicted wounds due to how their power works, which is blood manipulation. Again, edgy as all get-out.
March
I'm not super happy with some aspects of this but I worked really hard on it. This is a character of mine that I didn't design but still cherish lots. Her name is Coralina or just Coral for short. You'll see her again soon.
April
Once again I could not find much for April, but luckily I remembered that I did a bunch of chalk stuff at a school event that month and this one is both relevant to my blog and one of my favorites. I did a good ring too but that's in a different image.
May
This was something I designed as a contest entry that I don't believe I won so as far as I know it's my character now. I think the spots on the tail clash with the gradient but oh well.
June
There were a lot of good options for this month since I got back into commissions and art trades, but there's something about this one that I especially like. It's not fancy or anything but it showcases my style well.
July
Artfight season! Surprisingly this wasn't an attack but rather a character I made specifically for Artfight. They're based off of Miracle Musical's album Hawaii: Part II. I'm really proud of the design but I haven't really done anything with him since besides a couple drawings.
August
Here she is again! I used this image a lot to show an example of my work when offering art trades. I think I made it with that in mind? It's hard to remember. But anyway, here she is again! Plus one of my sonas, Pop Rocks!! I love her to bits. I originally made her as an adoptable that I traded to someone else, but I regretted it later and luckily my friend got her back for me! I have so many drawings of that little goofball but this is my favorite.
September
There are absolutely parts of this that suck balls but there are parts that I really like too. And I remember enjoying drawing it. This was for an art trade.
October
During this time I made matching bust drawings of all the 10 main characters from my comic. (calling it a comic is a bit of a stretch, I only have 2 chapters drawn and it's been well over a year (maybe two?) since I've touched those pages) Although I've made next to no progress on actual pages, I draw the characters often and love them with all my heart. I especially like how this one turned out.
November
At the time of drawing this I hadn't practiced drawing ferals in ages, so I was very worried about the result, but it turned out better than I could have imagined! This was another art trade, and I love the character design so much!!
December
And now we're here! I've been doing more scenes recently with my fanart, but I just love how Sonic turned out in this one so I had to include it. It almost doesn't look like my art, though the hands give it away. At first I wasn't impressed with how Shadow was looking but it's grown on me. ❤️🖤
#art#sonic#sonic fanart#sonic fandom#sonic the hedgehog#gijinka#human sonic#shadow the hedgehog#sonic gijinka#artwork#art trade#original character#character design#miracle musical#hawaii part ii#oc#chalk#chalk art#sidewalk chalk#art recap#2024 recap#recap#digital art#digital drawing#digital illustration#digital painting
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hey, gang! miss me? no? too bad, because i miss you. i think about you all the time. i hope the year has treated you well. this is, what, the third, fourth year i've done a year-in-review post? have i done more than that? it's after midnight. i can't be bothered to check. i fear a lot of the mysteries of getting older, but i will say, i don't mind that it's easier to shrug certain things off. i look back on all the times i hid from some scary fandom discourse and go, "god, why did i care?" it helps to have other things going on.
on the other hand, i guess 2024 was the year of finding out what happens when you put everything into your day job and leave nothing for the weekend. it was a wild year at work, which i assume is normal as a game ramps up to ship. i gave a lot, which was good! i'd be lying if i said it didn't take a lot out of me. important people at trade shows have now seen things i wrote! i got to work with voice actors! good news: a lot of your faves are great people! i also made, like, no progress on any of my own projects except the picrew, which i still chip away at. yes, i still draw. more on that later.
one or two people in my coworkers-turned-friends circle have broached the subject of occupational burnout and whether i've reached it yet. as i said last year, i remember what voltage burnout felt like, and it took a much weirder, angrier journey to get me there. it's kind that they're looking out for me, though. i think it's something all creative people could stand to keep an eye on. a buddy of mine even gave a GDC talk about it. it's a shame GDC is so stingy with access to its talks. at least this article has a great summary if you're interested in learning more.
there were other things, though. my mother broke her hip in june, which forced me into a caregiver role that i'm not suited to. don't worry, she's fine now. i love her, so it was important to me, but it didn't leave a lot of time to sit and write for fun. i started what i thought would be a casual fanfic project, wildly over-scoped it, and made a ton of work for myself. i outlined an original story about a difficult, personal subject and a culture i'm descended from, but not really familiar with. there's a lot of pressure to do it right, is what i'm saying. i'm taking the only path i can think of, which is to bury myself in research. the trouble is, a lot of the literature about this time and place is also very challenging, so it burns a lot of brain calories. it's a far cry from what usually gets me to start a story, which is "i want these characters to sleep together. let's see where it goes."
in a different time, i would've taken this struggle as an omen that i wasn't the right person to write this story and abandoned it. it's critical that i don't take the coward's way out this time if i'm going to honor the question i asked at the end of last year. "what is my work saying?" my mother told me the same thing a few months ago: "i think you're a good writer, you just need to find good things to say." i take that to mean i have to write closer to real experiences, which means including the parts i don't like: disappointment, loss, mistakes, uncertainty. i had all of this year to figure out how, and the evidence shows i didn't. i don't know what to say. "oh well?" maybe you can't put a deadline on these things. in the meantime, hercule and aida deserve more stories (it's an hercule and aida story), and i want more people to know about them, and maybe i can say something real through them.
this was also the year that i reckoned with the other side of "all it takes is money to make problems go away." i was able to travel, i mean really travel, for the first time. all it took was being able to throw a chunk of my salary at it. i had some shipping drama [sorry, not the romantic kind] where i had no choice but to pony up a ton of customs fees. my arm PT didn't work, so i'll have to try a specialist who's out of my insurance network and pay full price to see them. this must be what they call "being a successful adult." i thought it'd look different. i wanted to live in the city and have a hot, mysterious boyfriend. well, i can still live closer to the city if i keep saving up for that house, and maybe some hot, mysterious guy will take pity on me someday. do you think they like 32-year-olds who play video games and have flat chests? i went all the way to paris and still didn't find out. damn! 🤌
nah, i'm kidding. i mean, i'm not, but i have other things to worry about. as i mentioned above, things with my arm have taken a curious turn. after six and a half years of assuming i had tendinitis, i found out, not only is it likely not that, i may not be injured at all. the particulars of this theory get out into the weeds of neuromuscular science, so i'll only bore you with them if you want me to. the point is, if any of it holds water, it would go a long way toward explaining why none of the typical rest/heat/stretching/strengthening protocols have worked. it's actually unfathomable how much effort i've put into solving this mystery just so i can get back to drawing fictional people kissing. you can call my creative work boring or predictable or whatever you want, but never say i haven't committed to the bit.
i don't tend to read my previous years-in-review. this year, i did, because i sensed i was grappling with a lot of the same things as last year. there's nothing i hate like being repetitive. not that you would know from the way i keep writing the same three character archetypes. humor me here. i was all set to keep whining until i reminded myself how 2023 had gone, and i thought, "geez. it wasn't that bad." nobody i love died, for a start. my health is better. i have some unread books sitting around. as terrible as 2023 was, i survived it. if you're reading this, you did too.
so here's what i'm going to do. i think you should do it with me, though whether i'm in any position to give advice is up to you. i'm not going to make any predictions about whether 2025 will be bad or good. i'm just going to see what happens. deal? all right. we'll check in next year. you'd better be there!
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The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just Doran oh no - I knew I'd want a separate tag for this in earnest at some point ahhhh#Damned#Alright sure lol good enough - I'll go back and edit the tag in a bit#I just can't help it wahh the Institute is such a fun and interesting setting it scratches my brain in Such a way#It's been really fun poking around to see who's there but there are some who I'm like ''Why wasn't [x] there? :0''#Some make sense lol like characters that didn't exist/come into the cultural vogue until after the game started or ended#Totally understand that - and it's still really fun to speculate how they'd react! Very enjoyable!#But others - like the above - I'm just like But they existed before the game and are such fun characters! Why!#Neverminding that Osmosis Jones was yet another box office flop in an impressive lineup of likewise siblings oof lol#It'd be such a good movie......if only (lol) Like I love it! But yeah it's still pretty rough haha#Gosh if the animated sections aren't beautiful tho hh <3#The show's even rougher - like why choose a nearly PG-13 movie to turn into a Y-10 (at the Most) cartoon? The tone shift is so jarring lol#So yeah! Why weren't these characters a more popular draw five years later! That's practically still pop culture! Lolol#No I'm well aware I'm probably The entire pool of people interested in this crossover but hey - I offer >:3c#Obviously I had to have Ozzy judging me for subjecting him to the Institute - this is what you get for being a fave Oz <3#Thrax is All over him (a criminal) and Ozzy (a cop) being equalized in the same prison uniform lol - I mean yes but actually no#It's an escape game of course he wants out#I have way too much fun making ''real person'' profiles wagh I've already made a bunch of backstory stuff helpppp#The names are pulled around from the various voice actors/real names based on character names which was Quite fun#And of course Oz had to get punched :) That meme's not completely dead yet is it lol#But really it was just fun posing ahhh I'm really rather pleased with it <3 Excited to scene-stitch that one together too#Drix fussing over Oz is my favourite ahhhh yesss <3 <3#Can you tell that hunched-over Thrax was my first pass? Here's a hint - he doesn't have a burned finger there!#I wrote up his profile after that one and forgot to add it afterwards haha but yeah! Just barely touched on in-fic so far lol#And then him in his proper clothes.... Look all I'm saying is that I was uniquely primed in my media diet to enjoy Vargas lol
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prayer circle that I receive some sort of copy of pkmn su/mo from my family in 8 days so that i can run around alola and see my beloved 🙏🙏🙏
#he will be far too pale and scrawny but i will love him nonetheless#genuinely i do not much care about the other gifts on my wishlist fsdjkl i simply want that game so badly#i can wait until xmas for a new frying pan. i simply yearn to run around alola without having to learn how emulators works#<- says the guy who knows how to pirate things JFDSKL you'd think i'd have no issue learning a new form of it but. augh.#i'm not morally opposed to it at all dsfjkl i love that ppl can do it. i just hit some sort of motivation blockage when i try to learn it#dandy.cmd#(btw if any mutuals ever want a movie or show or computer program lmk and i will try to find it download it and pass it along to you :3)#(i've paid money for a good vpn LOL i get stuff for my friends often so that i can get the most bang for my buck w the money i've spent)
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Romantic love and friendship love are not mutually exclusive and feeling one does not inherently cheapen or negate the other. There's a reason friends-to-lovers is such a popular ship type.
#discourse#i've seen this complaint all over in fandom and while i get the sentiment#i think that it's far more complicated than that#we all ship different ships for different reasons#and i think a lot of fandom is people making assumptions about people's interpretations and motivations#like i grew up on mulder and scully right?#now over the many seasons and movies#they've been platonic and romantic and all over the place tbh#but i think what a lot of people were drawn to was what started with friendship for them#the devotion to each other#the trust#the absolutely unhinged things they'd do to save each other#and yeah loving them as a ship and wanting to see them together didn't deny or cheapen or negate the friendship#it just became friendship and romantic for a lot of the shippers#idk if any of this makes any sense#and yeah i get the frustration of dealing with shippers#because i've been there too#i know how when you don't ship a thing romantically#it's impossible to interact with fandom and avoid the ship#like more than half of my dash ships a ship on a show i watch that i very much do not ship so i GET IT#but idk as a big believer in ship and let ship#idk maybe it's 'both and' not 'either or'#and we all know what they say about making assumptions...
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Okay I think I actually love the Brazilian dub of toh (<- I do not speak Portuguese)
#ramblings of a lunatic#the owl house#i can't comment on how well things are translated BUT i do know that i love the voice acting for it#the only one I'd say is so-so so far is hunter (I'm just attached to Zeno. tho i do love his latin american VA patricio lago!)#but also i haven't heard much of him yet#BUT WILLOW LUZ AND GUS ARE ALL ON POINT??? not in terms of voice matching but in terms of character energy#lowkey appreciated them not going for as much of a generic high pitched mean girl voice for boscha#as much as i like eden reigel in the og version this version feels like a girl who is good at sports and bullies you abt it#haven't seen Darius' tho (I'm watch asias and switched dubs part way through)#watching in different dubs is fun though!!! it's not as fun as the spanish dub where I can actually catch every other word or two#but it's also more fun bc it makes the episode feel fresher for me. which is nice since I've seen this show like. 4 times lol#anyway! ya learn something new everyday#i think i might watch king's tide in the Japanese dub someday tho bc belos va reminds me of the fuckin. badguy in pretty cure#and that's so funny to me. that's so funny
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in most fics i've read robin is grossed out when steve talks about his sex life, which is probably far more in character for her, but hear me out
imagine them discussing literally everything. like having no boundaries whatsoever.
one day robin mentions she's never seen a dick and she's curious what all the fuss is about.
robin: you have one
steve: yeah...?
robin: so show me
steve: ??
steve: sure, why not
when steve pulls down his pants, robin just stares at him with a blank face
robin: that's... it?
steve: what do you mean that's it??
robin: it looks sad
steve: ??? well, it's not hard rn, obviously???
robin: ugh, boring
steve: you want me to show you my hard dick?? is that what's happening rn?
robin: i mean yeah?
steve: your judgemental face is forever burned into my mind. i don't think i'll ever be able to get hard again.
then robin bursts into his room like a week later
robin: steve, you're a slut-
steve: hey!
robin: so you know your way around a vagina, right?? i need you to tell me if i have a rash or not
steve: do you not own a handheld mirror?
robin: i'm freaking out so much, i can't make a sound observation rn
steve: *sigh* alright
turns out robin does indeed have a rash and steve takes her to the doctor
at one point they lose all shame. steve regularly air dries while robin hangs out in his room. robin makes steve do her monthly breast self-exam. they check each other for ticks.
when steve and eddie start dating steve tells robin literally everything. robin knows way too much about eddie and she loves it.
robin comes over for movie night, eddie is already there
robin: how was your day?
steve: we slept in, then eddie fucked me, it was great-
eddie: *chokes*
steve: then we cooked lunch, there are some leftovers in the fridge, go ahead and eat. yours?
eddie: ???
robin: ugh, don't get me started-
eddie: wait wait wait, how did you just say that so casually?
stobin: ???
eddie: that i fucked you??
steve: i tell robin everything. i told you that. you said that's fine.
eddie: i didn't know that included our sex life?
steve: why wouldn't it? ... wait, oh no, are you not okay with that?? i'm sorry, i thought you knew??
eddie: oh no, it's fine! it just surprised me is all. y'all are real freaks, carry on
stobin: okay then
robin freaks out before her first date with a girl
robin: what if my vagina looks weird???
steve: are you planning to fuck her on the first date, buckley? and how many times do i have to tell you your vagina looks absolutely normal??
robin: no, i'm not, but it's still a valid concern!!! what if my vagina looks hideous to girls??
eddie, the silent observer: lol
steve: what are you even talking about... a vagina is a vagina, vagina lovers love all vaginas
robin: stop saying vagina
steve: vagina vagina vagina-
robin tackles him and they end up wrestling until steve yields
steve: okay okay,, as someone who's seen his fair share of coochies
robin: that's even worse
steve: yours looks perfectly fine.
eddie: wait, you've seen it?
stobin, staring at him: ...
eddie: right, dumb question
#stobin merging into one entity is my favorite thing ever#stobin#steddie#fic#ficlet#mine#stranger things#steve harrington#robin buckley#eddie munson#stobinie
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What was your favorite murder drones episode??
If we're going off single episodes, probably 6. But if we're cheating and making our own rules, I like thinking of 7 and 8 as one big two-parter episode. Because that would be my favorite.
I actually really loved the finale, and think it had some of the most hype visual+audio moments I've seen in a thing in a long time. It made me feel like an edgy teenager again and I love it for that. I really love these characters, and...
...I do kinda want a season two... BUT!
We need to show the man some respect and let him REST. I'm gonna take this moment to gush and say how proud I am of Liam for not only sticking through and making his crazy vision a reality, but sticking through and keeping that bar of quality up for 8 whole episodes and three fuckin' years!
As someone who's only fully directed two episodes of a show so far, I can say without a doubt that directing these shows is a LOT of hard fucking work! And my show doesn't even have 10% of the crazy action and cinematography Murder Drones has. Not to mention Murder Drones started with a MUCH smaller team than Digital Circus. Liam is a legend. Please show him all the love and support you can, because he's earned it.
...
Anyways, yeah. That's my favorite Murder Drones episode...
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pins & needles
summary: how various jjk men react to ur new/unnoticed piercings! incl. nanami, gojo, geto, choso
warnings: veryyyyyyy suggestive (esp in nanami's), (new) piercings, geto's & nanami's is a new relationship type thing. excuse any typos pls😞. 18+ mdni!
a/n: i got like 3 new piercings over the weekend, this is just self indulgent and cute methinks. also tyyy for 700 :3, i'm trying so hard to get over the writer's block. love u all!
choso + smiley piercing!
"i've never been happier to see you," choso groans as soon as he enters your dorm, kicking off his shoes at the door. though his voice is monotone, you can infer he's tired, worn out from a day's work and fighting curses.
"rough day?" you scoot over in bed to allow room for your boyfriend, smoothing out the sheets and flipping your blanket up.
"very." the singular word is the only response choso gives before beginning to strip his uniform right in front of you. as you're watching intently, choso gets almost completely naked before grabbing some clothes he'd left over; a pair of baggy pants and an "i heart my girlfriend" shirt that you gifted him, and lazily putting them on.
"i did something today, cho," you inform him, and choso’s attention immediately snaps to you, eyes showing that he was obviously wondering.
"what’d you do?"
you give him a bright smile, all the teeth in your mouth shown to him, the shiny ring glistening atop your pretty gums. choso’s brows furrow together, his pupils coming to realize there was something new in your mouth, something different about your smile.
"what’s…that?" he asks, stepping closer and closer and eventually sitting on the bed with you. you giggle at his curious looking, his eyebrows still knitted together in an inquisitive way.
"a piercing, silly," you inform him, carefully flipping up your top lip to show where the jewelry went through the frenulum of your inner lip.
"does it hurt?" choso leans in even more, straightening his eyes with the freshly pierced hole in your mouth.
"not really, just a little bit," you tell him, letting go of your lip and pressing a quick peck to choso’s lips. it catches him off-guard, choso’s face lights up red because he thought he couldn’t kiss you. smiling triumphantly, you pull away from your boyfriend.
"it—um—it looks really pretty on you." choso compliments, "can i kiss you again? please?" and he’s so sincere and sweet, always asking permission for everything. so endearing, really, even with his deep, dark voice.
needless to say, when he kisses you again, choso is making sure to flick the jewelry all around with his tongue, faintly enough to not hurt the new wound. and it becomes a habit from thereon.
gojo + bellybutton piercing!
"i missed you so much, baby."
satoru is on top of you, arms caging you in while you lay underneath him, smiling and feebly grasping the biggest part of his bicep. it had been over a month since you'd seen your husband, he'd been away on a business trip for far too long.
"did you miss me?" his words are drawn out and dramatic, like always, like he was teasing you—but he was practically always teasing you.
"yes, satoru," you blankly reply, "i missed you."
just before you can roll your eyes, gojo's kissing you, a bit enthusiastically, but you quickly melt into his touch. as annoying as he could be, you loved him, you missed him. you had longed for him the moment he left—that was a fact you couldn’t deny.
as quickly as he meets your lips, satoru leaves, disconnecting himself to trail down your torso that was draped in a way-too-expensive t-shirt of his. but the one thing that doesn't leave you is his eyes, he keeps an intense stare on your face as he moves lower and lower towards your waistline. his fingertips dance along your sides before pinching the fabric of the bottom of the shirt and slowly lifting it up.
his eyes are no longer able to stay on yours when he catches a glimpse of the sparkly blue rhinestones on each ball of the jewelry stuck through your navel. of course, you chose the shade that best matched satoru's eye color.
"no way!" satoru exclaims, beaming with a new-found excitement for the little hole in your tummy, "you actually did it?"
"yes, satoru," you repeat, threading your fingers through the white tufts of your husband's hair.
gojo's nimble fingers come to play with the jewelry—the size comparison comedic from how large his hands are. he studies the now fully healed wound, moving the jewelry all around and practically forgetting the previous heated mood.
"do you like it?" you somewhat nervously ask, intimidated by the tedious investigation of your bellybutton.
"yes, duh," satoru dramatically quips, "you think i should get one next?"
nanami + nipple piercing!
kento had tried so hard to ignore it.
you didn't mean to distract him, really. it was a simple mishap at first, not wearing a bra when kento came over. but after the first time, he didn't seem to mind, he was gentlemanly enough. his eyes stayed averted—when you were looking at him, at least—so you took it as a green flag to remain braless when he was at your house without worry.
but nanami's only a man.
so here you are, after work, after your boyfriend had come over, ranting to him in your kitchen about your boss and whatever bullshit you had to put up with that day. but your words land upon deaf ears, noise drowned out by the sight of the little hearts poking out from the shirt you're wearing. he's sat at your dining table, legs lazily spread as he half-listens to you.
"—like, what?! what else am i supposed to do in that situation?"
for the first time in your venting session, you lock eyes with kento, noticing how they flash up quickly from...your chest.
"ken?"
"um—yes?" he chokes, a little too obviously for him to not be embarrassed over.
a smug smile rests over your face, nanami was caught red handed, ogling at your boobs and the cute heart-shaped jewelry that adorned them.
"what'cha staring at?" trailing closer to him with a teasing tone in your voice, you're killing him, embarrassing the poor man as the seconds roll on. kento doesn't reply either, only a raspy breath leaving his lungs as his response. his face heats up and his expression drops, shamelessly glancing down at your chest once more—one, two—counting the peaks of your nipples through the shirt.
"i'm sorry," he finally chokes out, unable to keep his eyes from flashing up and down, to your eyes then to your chest, again and again.
without any words, you slot yourself between nanami's legs, inching your chest closer to his face. it was so funny how easily his stoic persona disintegrated under your presence. he'd never been this close to your chest—to you. and it's intoxicating to him, he's ashamed how he loses himself by simply being eye level with your boobs.
but that guilt quickly washes away when you take his hand and place it perfectly to cup your tit—index finger and thumb resting right around the pretty jewelry under your shirt.
tdlr; that's the first night your boyfriend stays over at your place.
geto + clavicle piercing!
"you look lovely tonight."
smooth as ever, geto compliments you, his voice dripping with a sweet nectar. your insides warm up despite the harsh cold outside, the thick coat draped over your frame doing little to combat the weather.
"thank you," you whisper and smile at him, stepping into the door of the fancy restaurant suguru had chosen for your date. third date, to be exact.
once you're at your table, suguru helps you shimmy the bulky jacket off your shoulders, revealing the tasteful, deep-cut top you had chosen for your date—along with the two studs on each side of your collarbone that your clothing showed off rather perfectly.
it takes suguru a few moments to notice once he sits down. he tries to strike up conversation, relying on the simple questions and responses he can utter without getting too distracted. however, within a few minutes, geto is cracking, eyes every so often flickering down to the gems that aligned your clavicle so prettily. he can't help it, because with every slight movement you make, the jewelry sparkles in the dim light of the restaurant—it's hard to ignore.
"are you okay?" you interrupt your previous dialogue when you take note of geto's increasingly hazy replies, and how he seems a bit spaced out.
"yeah," suguru swallows deeply, "i really like your—um," his pointer finger vaguely motions to his own collarbone, and you have to look down at your chest before you realize what he’s talking about.
his mouth is dry. he’d already thought you were, like, the sexiest woman on earth, but this, oh this, was just too much. geto was unsure as to why he found the piercings so distracting, so hot, but nonetheless enjoyed the view he had.
"oh, thank you!" you giggle, smiling brightly and ghosting your fingers over the piercings—you’d honestly forgotten that this would be the first time he’s seen this much of your body, and the piercings ended up being the perfect touch to make suguru lose his mind.
and he can't wait until he's able to feel on 'em, too.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jjk smut#kento nanami#kento nanami x reader#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#choso kamo#choso x reader#choso kamo x reader#geto x reader#suguru geto x reader#suguru geto#gojo x reader#nanami x reader
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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Kissing His Scars- The Love And DeepSpace Men
parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader requested: anonnie (anonymous) ᯓᡣ𐭩 genre: slight angst i think ( references of their past lives ) but tooth rotting fluff overall ! a/n: hihi lovelies i miss you all ! i've been really busy with school and i missed writing and interacting with you all so much ˙◠˙ this was requested by an anonnie and i apologize if this is written not the best i feel so rusty bc my exams drained me ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ ) i hope you all are so well and i hope i can get some writing posted bc i have a couple ideas for kinktober but i feel so late ˙◠˙ anyways enjoy reading ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆
Xavier:
Xavier has a couple scars from all the battles he’s been through. A couple small ones from his hands and a couple on his arms. You’ve seen them sometimes when he’s had his shirt off or when you shower together.
He was curious about why you were doing this in the first place. His eyes sparkled with affection as you kiss and caress the lines of each scar with tenderness. He'd lean in to your touch, letting you do as you please, appreciating every second and minute of it. He felt so appreciated and special that he will definitely return the favor back to you.
Every kiss on his scars reminds him that each battle he’s faced has been worth it. In this lifetime, he has found you again after losing you and enduring so much. Now, he has a loving partner to come home to- where he feels cherished, complete, and truly at peace.
────୨ৎ────
You were curled up on the couch, flipping through different shows and movies in search of the perfect one to enjoy while waiting for you and Xavier’s food. Just then, Xavier joins you, settling his head comfortably in your lap, a contented sigh escaping his lips.
“Hi honey,” He says softly, his voice warm as he cups your face. His fingers gently tracing small circles on your cheek.
“Hi baby” you reply, nuzzling against his hand and placing your own atop his. Your heart flutters as you glance down at him. You took his hand, planting soft kisses along his inner palm before intertwining your fingers with his.
He watches you with a playful smile, utterly smitten by how adorable you were. Small affections made him feel loved and cherished. As you flipped his hand to face yours, you noticed the small scars that marked his skin- stories he briefly mentioned he’s gotten from childhood and battles with Wanderers from the past.
“Did you really get these when you were just a child?” you asked as he nodded. “A couple were from mishandling my sword while I was training,” he explained, earning a breathy chuckle.
You draw his hand closer, your lips finding those small scars.
“Hmm? What are you doing? They don’t hurt anymore,” He says so innocently, a hint of curiosity in his eyes. As you pull your lips away from his hand, you look down, meeting his gaze.
“I know,” you reply, your voice softening. “You’ve come some far. Those battles shape you into this strong and brave man.” A gentle smile graced your lips as he returned your smile, warmth flooding over him.
“No, it’s all those battles that have made everything worth it to have you in the end.” His voice filled with sincerity. Unable to resist, he sits up, leaning in. His eyes soften as he closes the distance between you two. Your breath caught as his lips met yours, tender and sweet, feeling the warmth of his love wrap around you.
Zayne:
You were no stranger to the scars on his arms. You've memorized every part of his body by now. He always kept them hidden whenever he wore his coat, long sleeves, or cardigan. Whether or not he was insecure about them or not, you wanted to make sure every inch of him was loved.
He was a bit surprised when you first kissed the scars on his arms. When your soft lips brushed against his scars, he melted at your touch. He feels a warmth spread through his body that brings him comfort and so so unconditionally loved. As you planted gentle kisses along his arm, a smile curled on his lips.
He loves it and finds it endearing whenever you do, making sure to give you the same amount of kisses back or more to remind you how much equally he loves you back.
────୨ৎ────
You rested your head on Zayne’s lap, the TV fading into a dull hum as he immersed himself in the pages of his book. With one hand holding the book, his other hand rests against your head to act as a pillow. Curiosity piqued you as you shifted slightly to play with his hand, captivated by the contract between the sizes of your hands. That’s when your gaze fell on the scar peeking from his sleeve.
As he continues to read, you gently push his sleeve up, tracing the outline of his scar before moving to the one beside it. You remembered him telling you he’d gotten these from childhood and how he can’t fully remember how he got them. A bittersweet ache fills your heart as you think of the childhood you both missed out on, wishing you could have been there to ease his pain and take care of him.
Drawn by an impulse, you inch closer and closer to his arm, planting a delicate trail of kisses on his scars. The soft warmth of your lips draws his attention to you. As he glances down, a small smile curls onto his lips.
“What are you doing, my love?” He asks softly, closing his book and setting it aside. His free hand brushes back the stray strands of your hair that had fallen over your face, tucking them gently behind your ear.
You rolled over to meet his gaze, your heart swelling at the sight of his soft smile and the warmth in his eyes, all just for you.
“Seeing these makes me wish I could have taken away your pain back then.” He’d sigh, cupping your face, his gaze continues to be filled with warmth.
“What matters is that you’re here with me now.” He replies softly as you shift closer, sitting up to rest your head against his chest. “Just having you here makes everything feel right,” He says with a soft smile on his face.
“I’m grateful that we eventually found our way to each other in the end.” He gently lifted your chin with his finger, drawing your gaze back to his before pressing a sweet and tender kiss to your lips.
( astra when i catch you astra.....)
Rafayel:
He is no stranger to you kissing his scars. You did it once when you kissed his paper cuts on his finger and he wanted you to keep doing it again and again.
Acts as if he's touch-starved. His reasoning would be one he loves it, two he loves and craves your touch, three he feels seen. You’ll still love him no matter what flaws he has or what he becomes.
Although there were some scars that randomly appeared on his arms, hinting untold stories. Initially you assume they might have stemmed from his artistic pursuits and whenever you bring it up, he brushes the topic aside.
Knowing Raf, you sense there’s more beneath the surface, he’s never been one to shy away from discussing his body. But you choose not to press on it and you’ll wait patiently for him to open up in his own time. For now, your love will be his comfort to whatever untold stories those scars hold on him.
────୨ৎ────
“Ouch! My hand!” He whines, flailing his hand in the air as if that might chase away the sting. You walk over to his stool, where he’s currently suffering from another paper cut from his sketchbook.
“Cutie,” he pouts, raising his finger to your face with a hopeful expression. “Kiss it, please.” You can’t help but chuckle as you take his hand in yours. You press a gentle kiss over the tiny wound to make his pain go away.
“There. It’ll be gone in a few seconds, Raf.” Just to be sure, you place another soft kiss on the same spot and notice a faint scar peeking from under his dress sleeve.
“Another one Raf? Where’d you get this scar?” You ask, gently pulling his arm to roll up his sleeve and examine it. He shrugs, a hint of mystery in his eyes. “I dunno, it just appeared out of nowhere. I can’t be too focused on that if I’m always focused on you cutie.” You snort. tracing the outline of the scar with your fingertip before leaning in to place a tender kiss on it.
He smiles, his nebula colored eyes sparkling as if they imitated space and the stars. “Are you trying to make it go away cutie?” he asks, tilting his head.
“Yes,” you reply softly, “but it’s also for the times I couldn’t be there to kiss it better.” He swears his heart can leap out of his chest right now and do backflips from how adorable you are. He reaches out to cup your face, his free arm slipping around your waist to pull you closer to him.
“Then I guess you just have to stay with me all the time," he says, a mix of playfulness and seriousness in his voice. “What if I get hurt again? Who’s going to kiss it all better? He gazes into your eyes, a soft smile breaking across his face.
He gently pulls you onto his lap, your faces meeting each other's level as you meet each other’s gaze. “You know,” he says, his voice gentle, “I could get used to you kissing all my scars. You make everything feel so much better.”
With a playful twinkle in his eye, he cups your cheek, drawing you closer until your lips brush against each other in a sweet, lingering kiss.
Sylus:
You’ve seen the scar on his chest before, whether it was during your shared showers or a cozy night in your shared bed. It often peeks out from under his robe, nestled by his sternum. He doesn’t mention much about how he got it, so you decided not to pry further into it.
The first time you did it was when you both got ready for bed. As you nestled your head against his chest, your fingers gently trace the scar that marked his skin. He’d hum in response from your touch as you pressed a soft kiss to it. He’d let out a silent laugh, finding you to be oh so adorable. He'd ruffle your hair before placing a sweet kiss on the top of your head.
You'd do it a lot more often after you found out he enjoys your small acts of affection towards him. You'd do it any chance you'd get.
In the steamy shower, you'd go on your tippy toes to kiss his scar and he'd respond back by gently placing a finger under your chin to draw you in for a soft tender kiss in return.
He loves it when you kiss the scar on his chest. You’re the only person he can be himself and vulnerable around, so doing an intimate act like that makes him feel safe and loved.
────୨ৎ────
Sylus was already in bed, his head resting gently against the headboard. His eyes were closed, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest was evident to the exhaustion from a long day of work. Not wanting to disturb his peace, you quietly climbed on top of him, resting your head near his heart, hearing the soft, rapid thumps of his heartbeat. Instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, drawing you closer.
“Goodnight Sy,” you whisper, planting a tender kiss on his chest. Your gaze falls upon the scar that you knew so well, it’s story etched into his skin.
“Goodnight, sweetie,” he murmured back, his voice a low, soothing whisper as his fingers traced gentle circles on your waist.
You let your fingertips wander over the scar, feeling the slight indentation. He responds with a soft hum, his eyes still closed. “Can’t sleep?” he asked quietly, his hands still anchoring you on to him. You hum in reply, your mind drifting back to the story behind his scar.
-
“Where did you get this scar, Sy?” you asked, as the warm water pours over both of you in the shower.
He glances down at you, his gaze softening as he focuses on your face, careful not to let the soap get into your eyes. “That,” he paused for a moment, “is the reason I’m still here. But that’s all in the past now, sweetie.”
-
You remember not prying further as you traced the scar’s curves. Leaning closer, you pressed a soft kiss to his scar, earning a breathy chuckle from him as he tangles his fingers in your hair.
“I’m glad you’re still here with me, Sy,” you whisper, continuing to caress the scar with your fingertip.
He shifted slightly, pulling you closer, your eyes meeting his crimson ones. His gaze was sleepy yet filled with warmth. If his heart beats any faster, he swears his heart can burst out of his chest.
“And I’m grateful to always have you by my side.” A soft smile curls to his lips as he cups your face, his thumb gently stroking your cheek before pulling you forward to him, giving you a sweet and passionate kiss.
#xavier x reader#xavier x you#xavier x y/n#zayne x reader#zayne x you#zayne x y/n#rafayel x reader#rafayel x you#rafayel x y/n#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus x y/n#xavier love and deepspace#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#xavier lads#zayne lads#rafayel lads#sylus lads#love and deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace fic#love and deepspace scenarios#lads x you#lads x reader
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