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rodismancave · 10 months ago

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Rodimus rolls his optics, Prowl’s tone and accusations finally catching up to his temper. He doesn’t even give the—the cop the satisfaction of being looked at as he rants. Instead, a spot on the carpet seems much more interesting, before Prowl finally shuts up. Then it’s back on business.

“Oh, fuck off. You’re actin’ like this shithole—“ Rodimus spreads his arms, points towards the city beyond Prowl’s window. “—has got actual workin’ laws and a jury that isn’t a clown on a power trip, and- and like all this isn’t runnin’ on hopes and dreams right now.”

It’s baffling, really, how easily Prowl threatens to do things he has no control over, anymore. It should be incredibly sad, if not a bit humorous, that he always falls back onto old routine and refuses to acknowledge the crumbling world outside. Continues to fall back on old habits that mean nothing, because it’s all made up. (Rodimus does not have to think about what this means to him.)

Coming here, Rodimus had expected some decency from the other. At least… oh, who’s to say, half an hour of decent talk, perhaps some stupid quips, a few garbling insults? But threatening to arrest him? Prowl must be running out of threats, if that’s what he’s come to.

When Rodimus lowers his arms, indignant and trying not to boil over the stupidest thing imaginable, the bend of his spoiler shifts just enough that the pain catches him off-guard; allowing for the briefest flinch and hissing combo that only feeds into his frustration, and therefore, his rant. “I mean— have you been outside lately? Besides tryin’ to play your games and tryin’ to see who’s the biggest target this season, have you walked ‘round and gone to the store, or-or checked on someone?”

Though Prowl’s EM field is screaming, Rodimus doesn’t truly respect his request. His order, to stay away. He has no respect for white and black mecha that think themselves above everyone, has no respect for strategy experts who enjoy rubbing salt on open wounds as often as a bird enjoys singing. He’d like to say that he’s done, that he’s over it, but the magma in his circuits is a familiar feeling he was forced to learn to enjoy, and never quite stopped— like the adrenaline of running from enemy fire, like the joy of winning a fight.

So it’s no wonder he can’t help smiling, even though it is a smile coated in poison and blaring a threat.

“Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one out of both of us? Your door was unlocked, cuz otherwise you’d have known I-or someone else- was here. You’d have noticed, ‘cuz you’re not an idiot, even though you love actin’ like one.” He’s not trying to go for a compliment, but Prowl is smart. He is smart and infuriating, because he wants everyone to know at all times just how smart he is. “Really did think you’d have managed to do somethin’ ‘bout this shitshow. Now Starscream’s taken over, the planet outside’s a fraggin’ mess, and you’ve got slums everywhere ‘cuz nobody has anywhere to go, nobody’s got shit to give. ‘N’ all you do is sit on your desk and write slag nobody’ll read.”

Rodimus shouldn’t be getting worked up over this, but once he’d started going there really was no stopping it.

He couldn’t help feeling a certain familiarity in the chaos outside, couldn’t help the pain in his fuel tank, just as he couldn’t help being outside for longer than a few minutes before the stark scent of smoke and burning metal reached his processor.

He chuckles, low yet clear. Like the gentle rumble of a working engine. “Astounding work, Prowl. You’ve managed to be as useless here as Optimus during the trial.”

If Cybertron, or Cybertronians, had ever a religion providing confession booths, Rodimus would confess that he hoped Prowl would hit him. Just a small nudge so he has an excuse to fight.

Prowl misses the first few seconds of Rodimus' spiel amongst his preoccupation with trying to avoid throttling the mech on the spot. But that would require touching him, so he sets his jaw instead, letting his processor fill him in on the spotty details when he makes an information callback, and- really? Chill out?

"Your intent does not relieve a single modicum of weight or severity from the situation. Do you know that? Are you stupid?" he snaps, watching as Rodimus put on his smirking face, a process Prowl found infinitely contemptible and disturbing to watch. Doubly so, as Rodimus goes on. The red-and-gold mech leans forward and Prowl tips back to avoid him, his EM field abruptly spiking in get away from me.

(Though- it really isn't difficult to find blackmail on Prowl nowadays, and of all mechs to know this, Prowl knew it best. He did not need an acute reminder, just as Rodimus did not need a reminder, so Prowl glosses over the point completely.)

"Just because you're a captain of a ship does not mean you are exempt from planetary border laws." Prowl's voice takes a hard left turn when being faced with the opportunity to quote laws and irrefutable fact. He leans over again. "You are on Cybertron. You are not on your ship. You are subject to warrants for arrest. In fact, since you have so kindly renounced your badge, you are also trespassing in this general building. Though- I wouldn't be surprised if you'd also jumped landing security and associated docking customs. Everything considered, you- what? My door was not unlocked. You broke in."

He squints. "And you're homeless. Brilliant plan, captain."

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#it’s been so long since I’ve written Rod gojng 4 someone’s jugular. I curtesy #forthebetterandworse #ic #also sorry if it feels like Rodimus is spariling here. he’s currently losing the idgaf war bc prowl is trying 2 arrest him

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absolutely-zero-regrets · 3 years ago

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Imagine being a fan of a series where the protagonist regularly beats up creeps who hold various harmful beliefs and still thinking that shipping children with adults and/or family members is okay, and then going on to try to insist that the very same protagonist who is frequently keeping said creeps in check is a figurehead of such harmful ideas 💀

#I’d call proshippers clowns but that’s an insult to actual clowns everywhere #get better soon get some fucking therapy it’s not too late <333 #proshippers are not welcome in this community #kirby

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whumpster-fire · 2 years ago

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How to Swear Like a Steam Engine (And Other Sentient Locomotive Slang)

If there’s one thing engines enjoy doing, it’s complaining and insulting each other, and they’ve developed their own slang to do it. Phrases like “fusspot,” “cinders and ashes!” and “bossy boiler” are common in the Railway Series, but there are many other terms.

The following list of phrases and expressions are commonly used by engines on American railroads, in particular on the Jefferson Great Divide Railway in the mountain west of the US. Some may be common in Sodor and the rest of Britain as well, others are specific to America. There are other lists on the internet documenting the various IRL slang used by human employees, and a lot of that is used by engines as well, but this is specifically the slang terms that were more or less developed within the locomotive subculture.

All Smoke and No Steam: All show and no substance. A person or engine who talks a good game or puts a lot of effort into appearing to be helpful but can’t back it up. An engine that’s making a huge cloud of smoke and a lot of noise looks impressive but if what’s coming out the smokestack is all smoke and no steam it’s not actually doing any work. Can also mean empty words or promises that won’t be fulfilled in the abstract.

“He’s all smoke and no steam!” = talks a good game, is all hat and no cattle, etc.

“That rule’s all smoke and no steam” can mean a rule isn’t / won’t be enforced, or that it will be enforced but it doesn’t actually make things better and is just a way of looking like something’s being done. E.g. “The new safety regulations are all smoke and no steam, management’s still going to come down harder for being late than for safety violations.”

“Their threats are all smoke and no steam” (when referring to customers/clients/workers) = they complain loudly but they’re not actually going to do anything like stop buying tickets, or ship freight by other means, or quit, or strike.

Amtrash: Derogatory term for Amtrak and its engines, used by freight railroad engines. Amtrak is the USA’s quasi-nationalized long-distance passenger rail network. Most of the track it runs on is owned by other railroads which are freight-only, and there’s quite a bit of resentment between them. See also: Useless Pacific, Nofucks Southern, Satan Fe, All Trains Smell Funny, Borington Northern, Misery Pacific, Criminally Slow and X-pensive, Southern Pathetic, Big Nasty Stupid Fuckers. The US only had its railroads forced into a Get Along T-shirt for like three years and that was during WWI-era, so there are a lot of rivalries between different railroads there.

Ballast Plow: A large truck, especially a flatbed, that stalls at a crossing – because if it gets hit it’s likely to bend around the engine’s front and be dragged down the track instead of getting thrown aside, digging into the embankment and scattering ballast everywhere.

Buckled Rail: A buckled rail (usually happens due to thermal expansion of the track in a heatwave) is at a minimum extremely painful to run over and can often damage engines or rolling stock and derail trains. “I need that like a buckled rail!”

Cattle Cars / Cattle: Derogatory term for a passenger train / passengers, particularly unruly and annoying passengers. Engines aren’t supposed to say this within earshot of passengers (and coaches get offended too).

Cowboy / Car Wrangler / Rodeo Clown: Shunter/switcher engines. Definitely popularized in the American West.

Did you fill your Tender/Bunker from the Ash Pit?: Ash doesn’t burn and would make a mess all over the cab. Basically translates to “Who pissed in your cornflakes?”Can also refer to an engine who has no steam or energy.

“Did you fill your bunker from the ash pit this morning? You’ve done nothing but complain and insult everyone all day!”

“Did you fill your tender from the ash pit today? I might as well be pulling this train by myself!”

Did They Fill Your Tender With Rocks?: Less profane version of the above.

Drink Hard Water: Hard water, i.e. water with lots of mineral content, is not good for a steam engine because mineral deposits (boiler sludge and scale) can accumulate in the boiler and other plumbing and be very uncomfortable / difficult to clean out.

“Go drink hard water!” = Go jump in a lake / go to hell / go fuck yourself. Basically “go somewhere else and have a miserable time while you’re there.”

“I’d rather drink hard water!” or “That’s like drinking hard water!” = Hell No.

Dry Crownsheet: VERY strong expression meaning an engine is tired or frustrated to the breaking point and about to lose their temper. “My crownsheet’s dry” could be compared to “I’m going to blow a fuse” or “Blow my stack” but that doesn’t cover the intensity. The crownsheet is the top of a locomotive’s firebox, and allowing the water level in the boiler to drop low enough that the crownsheet is exposed can cause it to overheat, weaken, and fail, which is a common cause of boiler explosions. If that weren’t bad enough water suddenly being reintroduced to an overheated crown sheet can flash to steam and cause a catastrophic pressure spike. Blowing a fuse means a safety mechanism has activated to prevent catastrophe. A steam locomotive with a dry crownsheet means the safety mechanisms have already failed and is on the verge of a devastating explosion. Used figuratively, means an engine has run out of ability to cope with stress and is one more tiny irritation away from taking it out on whoever’s unlucky enough to have added the proverbial final straw, or just anyone nearby, without regard to consequences for themselves.

“Don’t worry, it wasn’t your fault. He rolled into the yard with his crownsheet dry” = He wasn’t angry because of you, he was already angry and something was going to set him off sooner or later.

“Listen, I got a dry crownsheet from my last train. If any of you cars start anything I’m about ready to jump the track into the river and pull you all along with me.”

“Please just get me out of this station! My crownsheet’s about dry and if I have to hear the passengers complaining I don’t think I can take it!”

Find a Scrapyard: This basically means “Kill yourself,” so… not a very nice thing to say.

Fire Me Dry: Basically equivalent to “Fuck me” as an expression of exasperation. If an engine’s fire was lit with no water in the boiler at all, it might not cause an explosion but would still destroy the firebox. Apparently Furness Railway No. 1 was severely damaged and later scrapped due to this.

Flatlanders: Insult used on many mountain railways to make fun of engines and crews from plains regions who aren’t used to running the difficult routes.

“Boy, if those flatlanders think one in one-twenty’s a hill, I can’t wait to see ‘em coming up the pass!”

“They way some of these flatlanders talk you’d think you can’t climb anything over 1% without cog wheels.”

General Sherman, Sherman’s Army, Sherman’s Necktie: Refers to “Sherman’s Neckties,” a tactic of destroying sections of rail by heating them and twisting or bending them until they were unusable. This phrase is pretty much US-specific, and likely originated with engines used in the US Civil War picking up the term from humans, but has spread to subsequent generations of engines who often weren’t taught the historical context and only knew that Sherman was a man who commanded an army and destroyed a lot of railroad track. General Sherman and his army have become almost folkloric figures that various causes of track wear and failure are attributed to, sort of like Jack Frost. Can also refer to incompetent track maintenance / rough and poorly maintained track, or to the crews and vehicles responsible for it. Though they sometimes use the term for an engine who’s particularly hard on the rails or otherwise damages the track.

“That crew really did a General Sherman of a job with these rails.” = Sarcastically saying the maintenance crew made the rails even worse.

“Be careful at that junction, it’s a real Sherman’s Necktie.”

“Ouch! Who laid these ties, General Sherman?”

“That new road-rail’s a real General Sherman. Take any track he’s been over slow or you might break an axle.”

“Hey, General Sherman, try checking a switch is set right before you barge into it.”

“In case you’re wondering why the spur’s been closed all day, General Sherman over here spun his wheels ‘til he damn near hit ballast.” (Diesels in multiple unit operation can occasionally spin their wheels on a stopped train for so long they grind/melt halfway through the rails)

“They ought to put you in a siding and necktie the rails” (similar to “They should lock you up and throw away the key)

“Keep an eye on the track ahead of you: General Sherman’s hard at work on days like this” = a warning given in very hot weather that could cause buckling of the rails.

Getting the Rails Painted: A euphemism for a person or animal being run over by a train. Alternately: “Paint my wheels” or “Paint my pilot.” Obviously no sane engine wants this to happen but some engines use this phrase as gallows humor between each other. Occasionally said to humans who break safety rules by a furious engine.

“What the hell are you doing walking between moving freight cars? You almost painted the rails back there!”

“I heard they got the rails painted at the 58th Street Crossing?” “Yeah. From what I heard, poor guy must’ve been drunk and fell asleep on the tracks. They didn’t say whose train it was but Robbie’s been in the shed all week.”

“Some idiot ducked under the crossing gates on a bike and just about painted my pilot.”

“I got my pilot painted by a herd of deer yesterday. I swear, once they get on the track they must think they’re a train, they just run along it!”

Go Get Your Ash Pan Raked: Removing the ash that collects under an engine’s firebox could be considered the closest steam engine equivalent to using the bathroom, but the connotations aren’t quite the same. Cleaning out the ash pan is a task firemen hate, so telling an engine to get their ash pan raked basically means “Go be someone else’s problem for a while (instead of mine)” Basically translates to "Fuck off."

Hotbox / Hot Axle: A hotbox or hot axle is an overheating axle and/or bearing box, usually on rolling stock but sometimes on engines. “One hot axle stops a train” is a common proverb that means a small missed detail can cause a massive inconvenience or impediment – compare to “For want of a nail” or “One bad apple spoils the barrel.” It doesn’t matter how many cars are on a train, a single hotbox can force the entire thing to stop until the problem is fixed. In slang use, of course, a hotbox can refer to anything small and seemingly irrelevant that manages to cause a disproportionate amount of annoyance, delay, or wasted time. It could be a physical object, a rule or procedure or an event. It is also a common insult: sometimes directed at engines, but more often at people or other vehicles. It basically means “killjoy” or “wet blanket,” with a specific connotation of “You and your opinion aren’t important but you are holding everyone else back / ruining things for everyone by making a ton of noise.” Common examples of hotboxes include an overly officious inspector or manager, a broken down road vehicle blocking a grade crossing, a track maintenance crew that’s working slowly and blocking multiple trains, a small weather event that still sometimes manages to delay everything, or an unruly passenger who causes an entire train to be stopped on their account (or unsuccessfully demands it be).

“Sorry I’m so late. Some drunk hotbox picked a fight with the conductor and the cops had to drag him off the train.”

“Will you quit being such a hot axle? Everyone else is enjoying the roundhouse party, if you don’t like it just sleep outside!”

“They’d better fix those jammed points soon, they’re hotboxing the whole damn yard!” (note: the use of "hotbox" as a verb among engines probably predates the drug usage)

Icicles In My Smokebox: Hyperbolic complaining about cold weather. There are many parts of a steam engine that are susceptible to things freezing where they shouldn’t, such as the feed hoses from the tender, water tanks, and possibly journal boxes and other running gear could feel stiff and numb if the oil gets cold enough. Naturally, when engines are complaining about the cold they’ll claim the hottest parts of them, which have absolutely no chance of freezing while their fire is lit, are freezing. Other variants include “Frost in my flues,” “If they put ice cream in my firebox it wouldn’t melt,” and “Cold enough to freeze your smoke halfway up the stack,” and “So cold a snowman could fire me all day long” (standing next to a firebox door shoveling coal is hot work, if it’s that cold in the cab it’s pretty darn cold)

Idiot Siding: Off the rails, specifically a safety siding where the rails end in a sand or gravel bed, or wherever a train that runs over trap points / catch points / derailers gets sent. These devices intentionally derail an uncontrolled or runaway train to prevent it from obstructing a main line or endangering people further down the track. If a train ends up here either somebody didn’t check the switch alignment, moved when they weren’t supposed to, or lost control of their train, hence the name.

If it gets any hotter my fireman’s gonna be out of a job: Hyperbolic complaining about the weather – implying that the heat of the sun on an engine’s boiler is enough to raise steam without them needing a fire.

In My Cab: Sarcastic way of saying another engine (usually) or a non-crew human is being bossy, or controlling and/or micromanaging, or giving advice on things that are none of their business. Basically meaning “You’re acting like you think you’re my driver.”

“Get out of my cab, I can sort these cars how I want!”

“Manager’s been in my cab all week.”

“Who let you in my cab?”

“Yeah, sure thing. Hey, while you’re up there in my cab, why don’tcha polish my gauges?”

Lionel Lines / Lionels: Derogatory term for narrow-gauge railways and trains, named after the popular brand of toy and model trains. Visitors to the JGD are strongly advised to NOT use this term around the resident standard-gauge engines. They are very protective of their narrow-gauge friends due to certain incidents in the past.

No Ashpan: e.g. “You’ve been running with no ashpan all day” or “He ain’t got no ashpan.” The ash pan is a tray underneath a steam engine’s firebox that collects ash and cinders that fall through the grates. An engine with no ashpan would leave a trail of red-hot cinders everywhere it went, which could be scattered by the wind from a train at speed, starting fires around the track – especially in the dry climate where the JGD is! Basically it means someone leaves a trail of destruction wherever they go. This is a very strong way of calling someone clumsy or incompetent (as in “You fuck up everything you touch”). It can also be used to refer to someone who’s rude, tactless, cruel, or toxic.

Pulling With Your Regulator: Wasting effort, doing more work than you need to. A steam engine’s power can be controlled using the regulator/throttle (reducing available steam pressure / flow rate to the valves) or by using the valve gear control (the “Johnson Bar”) to reduce the amount of time the valves are open. Controlling power and speed using the Johnson Bar (admitting small amounts of high-pressure steam into the cylinders) is more efficient than using the throttle (letting lots of low-pressure steam into the cylinders).

“Sure, you could shunt those cars like that, but you’ll be pulling with your regulator. Those grain hoppers are going out tomorrow morning and you’ll have to get ‘em out from behind everything else.”

Put on a Liquid Diet: A coal-fired or wood-fired steam engine being converted to an oil burner.

Rolling Dumpster: Insulting term for a tender. Not like a slur against tender engines, in fact it’s probably mostly tender engines who use it. E.g. “Why don’t you get that rolling dumpster off that siding and do some work for once?”

Sand in my fire and coal on my wheels: An engine feeling sick, confused, or discombobulated. Ironically oil-fired engines do actually periodically get sand thrown in their fire to clean their tubes out.

Scalding: Yelling at someone, dressing them down, treating them with cruelty. Engines can’t be physically scalded, but they know the meaning from the injuries that escaping steam can cause to humans.

“I’m sick of that stationmaster. He scalded me and my crew for running two minutes behind schedule without even asking why!”

“Geez, ask a simple question, get a scalding.”

“If that switchman isn’t fired tonight, he’ll wish he had been after the scalding I give him next time he see him. Throwing a train onto a siding at that speed could’ve derailed me, not to mention if there’d been a train there!"

Slug: Someone who blindly follows orders with no initiative or independent thought, or a yes-man or toadie. Used by diesels. A slug is an extra motor unit that can be coupled to a diesel-electric engine that draws excess power from it to provide extra traction while shunting, but a slug is not alive in the same way that tenders aren’t alive.

“Oh, company policy says, the rulebook says – quit being such a slug and live a little!”

“Yeah, the guy’s just Bernie’s slug. Always following him around hoping to be noticed. Pathetic.”

Smoke out the Stack: Similar to Water Under the Bridge. Expression meaning something’s in the past and no longer relevant.

“Hey, sorry about this morning.” “Ahh, don’t worry, that’s smoke out the stack."

Squishies: A very rude way of referring to careless yard workers and light road or rail vehicles, as well as people who trespass on tracks.

Sugar in My Fuel Tank: An unpleasant surprise. Originated in petrol-powered vehicles, but spread to diesel locomotives even though sugar in a diesel tank doesn’t really cause that much damage.

Teakettle: Insulting term for steam engines, especially small ones.

Tender-first: Doing something totally wrong, i.e. Ass-backwards. This one translates very literally. A tender engine running backwards can’t see very well and neither can its crew.

This Train’s Leaving. You can be on it, beside it, or under it: Means “My mind is made up. You can either help or leave me alone, but if you get in the way there’s going to be serious trouble.”

Thrown: Throwing a switch is what changing it from one direction to another is called, but when an engine talks about getting thrown it means being switched in an unexpected or unwanted direction, particularly at high speed. Like other types of sentient vehicle engines need a human operator to move with full control, but they also run on rails and cannot “steer.” In essence a train moves in one dimension while a car or boat moves in two and an aircraft moves in three. Even the most free-spirited engines don’t usually truly want the ability to go any which way: they like the certainty and predictability of knowing where moving forward will take them. However, engines do value the limited autonomy they do have. An engine can’t control itself without a driver, but as anyone who’s read the Railway Series will know, it is extremely difficult to move an unwilling engine. Thomas and James had runaway incidents because they were either trying to move without a driver on purpose or didn’t realize there was no one at the controls, and once they had made the choice to let themselves start moving, they couldn’t change the state of their controls by themselves. But an engine won’t move without their consent. Switches are a different matter. An engine is reliant on someone outside the cab to set the points, and being sent down the “wrong track” against their will feels very violating to many engines in a way that being physically pushed or pulled by another vehicle doesn’t. It’s like being manhandled. There is an expectation that switch operators follow the instructions of either an engine, their crew, or the dispatcher or yardmaster who is expected to tell the engine in advance where they are supposed to go. It’s also physically a jarring and unpleasant out-of-control feeling for an engine even when traveling at a safe speed – basically the train equivalent of going up or down a staircase and expecting another step that isn’t there, or suddenly hydroplaning or hitting a patch of ice in a car, or having your feet start to slide out from under you. And it’s often downright dangerous, either because a train is moving too fast for the curve of the switch and is derailed or because it’s sent into a collision on the other track or off the end of a siding (e.g. the Flying Kipper crash). Engines being engines, the term is also used hyperbolically to complain about an abrupt change of routing or scheduling with little warning, e.g. “Well, nobody told us about the special using my regular platform, until the last signal, they just threw me to Platform Five!” or “Today’s ore train was late. Dispatch gave them the tunnel instead of me so they didn’t have to stop going uphill, but I didn’t hear about it until they threw me on the passing siding!” It can also be used figuratively, similar to “thrown off track” or “thrown off,” to describe an unpleasant surprise or failure of communication.

Traveling In Style: Slang for a vehicle, especially a locomotive, being transported on a flatbed.

Tubes in a Twist / Knot: Expression of an engine (or human) being irritated, or feeling sick.

“What’s gt your tubes in a twist this morning?”

“That’ll put a knot in the foreman’s tubes for sure!”

“Are you feeling okay? You look like you’ve got a knot in your tubes!”

Turf Train: Affectionate term for farm tractors pulling multiple trailers or appliances.

Turn Your Grates: Implying that an engine has a buildup of ash on their firebox grates that is preventing their fire from getting enough air – almost always used figuratively to imply the engine’s mind is clogged with useless thoughts or strong emotions that are keeping them from thinking clearly. Or that they’re just being an idiot.

“Turn your grates before you run your mouth” = Think before you speak, in particular about whether you’re coming from a place of emotion or bias.

“Turn your grates and look at the track” = You have your mind on something other than what you’re doing, stop thinking about that and concentrate.

“Your cars are right on Spur 7 like I told you, turn your grates and look again!”

“I know the last diesel who visited was rude, but let’s turn our grates and keep an open mind about the new ones.”

Yoopers and Burlies: These are JGD-specific slang. The railroad connects to two major interstate railroads, Union Pacific and the Burlington Northern and Santa Fe Railway (BNSF). At some point some engine heard about the word “Yooper” to describe people from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, decided to start calling engines and employees from Union Pacific this, and the name stuck. “Burlies” are BNSF engines. Prior to the 1995 merge of Burlington Northern and the Atchison, Topeka and Santa Fe Railway, the term was used for Burlington Northern, but there wasn’t really a term for Santa Fe engines other than “Santas” or “S-Fs.” A few engines tried to get “Reindeer” adopted as a term but it never caught on. Yoopers and Burlies are common on the JGD because both railways have trackage rights on one or more of its major routes.

You Got Your Valve Gear Backwards On the Left Side: Steam locomotives reverse by using their valve gear to change the timing of their valves. If one somehow had its valve gear operating backwards on one side, one cylinder would be trying to go in reverse and the other forward and it wouldn’t get anywhere. Used figuratively to mean “You’re sabotaging yourself” or “You’re the cause of your own problems.” Mostly used by older engines.

#Railway Series Fandom #TTTE fandom #worldbuilding #JGD Lore

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chaotic-nick · 2 years ago

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You're still pretty

Plot: Seven years after graduation you see him on the screen playing as himself, what you didn't expect was seeing him outside of the screen on the same day.

Note: The alternate title for this fic is 'Still the same'. Yaya! I finally posted something after doing a lot of uni-related stuff [there's still lots to do, but I'll honestly go mad if I don't sit down and allot time to write.] + the text for the actual fic was gone (?) in dark mode, so this is my second time posting this, hopefully it works 🥲

WC: 750 - no warnings, unedited

The Itadori twins were always loud. It was their identifier throughout high school. One was disqualified in games for swearing at his own teammates too much— Sukuna. And there was one who blurted out the most unrelated topic in class, pulling a laugh out of everyone and earning him the title of ‘class clown’— that was Yuuji.

It was either word for another word, “(Y/n), what’s that thing when you jump?” “A trampoline?” “Nah.” “AH! Diving board. That one.” or the weirdest compliments no one’s ever thought of, “Sensei you can bury rice seedlings with your footsteps.” almost coming off as a sugar-coated insults.

Now that she was watching him do the same thing on TV, (Y/n) wished that she should’ve bought a cheap notebook for all his words to have a place. “Suits him,” she laughed, briefly joining her brother and his friends in the living room.

She followed with, “He was like that in high school, too.” when they turned to her to ask if she knew what they were watching.

“So, he’s old?” Of course, her youngest brother would ask that just as she sat down at the doorway to slip her shoes on.

Sighing, she slipped her shoes on and leaned back enough for them to hear, “Twenty-four is a baby in corporate years. It’s impressive.” No. It’s not impressive to a group of ten-year-olds who already turned to the TV in time for Yuuji’s Nanami-sensei to help him attack the curse.

“Did you watch it, (Y/n)-san?” the morning started with her brother watching Yuuji and since that, she’s noticed his face plastered everywhere. Trains. Billboards with airing dates and bookstores with his twin smirking at the camera.

And now her coworkers reading the show’s chapters in the weekly magazine.

“No, not yet. Re-watching Barakamon.” She stood on her toes to see what the hype was about. “Is it any good?”

“Heck yeah! You should come to our watch party,” the signboard of a new restaurant stopped them in their search for a new place to eat during a work break.

She pointed at the door, “This one? Let’s go in here?” happy that no one has discovered it yet.

“You go ahead,” walking backwards they explained, “Pumpkin spice is back so we’ll go there

first.”

“Right . . .”

“You should take pictures of the menu, (Y/n)!”

“If you say so.” She didn’t think about anything else, only happy about finding a place she can enjoy the silence during a long workday.

Even across the street, they managed a yell loud enough to make her flinch, “Want any? Pumpkin spice, I mean. Not my future children.”

“No, thank you.”

Entering the cross between a restaurant and a cafe she was made aware of a person standing in the corner, reading the menu and their head bent too low. “Welcome to Glaiza’s resto-cafe!”

“Menu, ma’am?” Her eyes remained on him, “Ma’am?” Wondering why she was staring at a stranger.

“Miss would you like a menu?”

“Sorry—” picking up on the slight tension, her stranger looked up.

He’s everywhere.

. . .

And he’s still the same.

Shoving spoonfuls of his meal too quickly, closing his eyes when the perfect spoonful just ‘happened’. Though it didn’t happen yet when she put the complimentary pork slice on the edge of his plate. Followed by the egg. “I don’t see you in seven years and I’m still the trash can. Cool-cool-cool.”

“Hey, think of it as me giving it to your for free.”

Whipping his head up, Yuuji announced after a swallow,“I can order the whole stock!” Slowly his shoulders slumped in embarrassment when his voice echoed.“I-if I wanted to, that’s all.”

Fork digging in the thick slice she put, he smiled,“It’s yummier when you give them to me though, so—”

“Really?”

“Yeah, just like always in high school you gave me all your siu bao’s insides. This is the same thing!”

[siu bao: Barbecue pork-filled bun]

“Dude, no. How do you still remember that?!” She laughed back into the chair’s cross rail. “And you’re still the same, pink hair. But yeah, just in your twenties.”

“The same goes for you, (Y/n)!” This time he chewed slower, watching her with a fond look in his eyes. “And you’re still pretty.”

In high school, it quickly became known that Yuuji’s mouth was faster than his brain was thinking. His mouth always exposing something that shouldn’t be said, and her ears always caught it.

Word by word.

“I’m . . . I am? What?” Today, even seven years after graduation, his words were clear.

#nick writes fics #yuuji itadori x reader #yuuji itadori x you #jjk fanfic #jjk x reader fluff #jjk x reader

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tinynebula · 2 years ago

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as someone who lived in the us for like. five years or so? i think the problem w a lot of usamericans is that even the most left wing ones have really fallen for the whole the us is the best propaganda even if they like understand how the healthcare and education system is a pile of shit the most they can understand is that maybe europe is a better place to live but they simply can’t view any country of the “global south” as in any way superior to them and i think it’s especially clear when you talk to them about politics because they’ll understand that biden is at best a centrist but then you say well in my country he would be right wing and they give you this look where they won’t out loud call your politicians a bunch of savages but they just. cannot get past this barrier of thinking that the rest of the world is so much less progressive and developed than them. i think that’s why they see “developing” country as a more politically correct term- personally i would even prefer third world above it because the claim that the global south is underdeveloped and should be striving to the development of north america and western europe is so insulting to me but they don’t see it as an insult at all, they see it as a factual statement. it can be really dehumanizing talking to usamericans because you have to repeat again and again that your country is “civilized” or a nice place to live or whatever and you’re just met with complete disbelief. not to say you don’t get that in europe or whatever but i do feel like it happens somewhat less there? the us is just on this whole other plane of collective delusion where the us may be terrible but it’s better than everywhere else so you should cling to it like a liferaft

that's my point like insane they're literally delusional living in a reality that doesn't exist. they're not better in any way shape or form. we are not lesser than them. we actually are miles ahead in terms of human rights. like sorry maybe i can't buy all the consumerist shit they can't live without (which is also insane and they don't even notice) but i couldn't care less about the material shit they somehow think is freedom. or their politics holy shit every single time they speak here or any social media they're saying incredibly basic stuff our parents were persecuted for saying in the 80s. like their "left" is center at best and they're behind 50 years in basic sociological ideas. and then they have the audacity to act like they're better than us and we're uncivilized... they're literal clowns.

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roll-da-credits · 4 years ago

Text

BNHA Villains reacting to S/O who takes care of them

Characters: Tomura Shigaraki, Dabi, Himiko Toga

A/n: Yk my moods when it comes to villains can go from vry chaotic like burning down a random restaurant in the middle of the night with them, or extremely motherly. Like can you just imagine making a warm meal for Shigaraki, or even giving Toga the same amount of affection she gives out??? 😭😭😭

🖤❤️🖤

Tomura Shigaraki

The first time you tried to take care of him was when you made him warm soup when he looked extremely exhausted

Shigaraki felt a warmness grow in his heart but obviously, he pushed it all away, he knew nothing of the feeling and would rather ignore it.

He pushed the bowl away and spilled it everywhere. Even after seeing your slightly disappointed face, he didn't budge at all.

But you stayed hopeful that maybe one day he'd reciprocate your care.

You did this a couple more times, making him small meals when he'd skip out or simply asking if he was hungry or not.

He would usually stay silent and even get mad at you for no reason at all. Once again, you stayed patient with him and listened to him.

Tbh he hated the way you were taking care of him, he felt like you were babying him, and he didn't want to seem weak in front of people, especially you.

It wasn't until one night after a failed mission that he was too exhausted to push your care away.

You made a simple warm meal and hoped he actually enjoyed it.

He looked disgusted at first but after taking in a few bites he stopped his ranting and ate silently.

He didn't talk to you at all that night as you slept together, though from the way his hug tightened at night you could tell he was thankful.

Since then you would try here and there to give him even the smallest amount of care.

From giving him vaseline (he doesn't use it but you're thankful he even accepted it) to his favorite, making warm food.

He would never say thank you or seem grateful when you did this and people were around the two of you, yet when you were alone he sometimes whispered a soft thank you.

Shigaraki knows he doesn't deserve you but he can't help and want to be selfish, he knows he's not thankful or grateful enough but the fact that here you are still with him is enough for him.

Dabi

Dabi would probably shame you for caring for someone like him. Like Shigaraki, he hates the feeling of being cared for, because it was so unnatural for him.

He's lived his entire life on his own and making his own goddamn decisions that he hates for you to think you can just suddenly walk into his life.

Like Shigaraki, you'd probably have to be extremely patient with him.

He'd taunt you, tease you, insult you, or even straight-up embarrass you for being kind.

Once you bought (stole) a slice of cake for him because you realized you didn't know when his birthday was and kinda felt bad.

He like the jerk he was swatted the slice away from your hand and insulted you in front of the entire League for being weak.

Even when you seemed to be on the verge of crying he didn't care, he scoffed and continued to insult you.

That night though, you were going to clean up the cake, now splattered on the table, only to see Dabi taking a bite of it and smiling a bit.

This made you kind of motivated to continue your small acts of kindness, making sure to never do it whenever you were around people.

He still insults you and degrades you for being so weak to him, but at least now he eats the foods you give him and still lets you lather some aloe vera on his burns.

Dabi hates that even though he's tried to push you away so many times, you keep coming back, he thinks you're an idiot for caring for someone like him.

To him, he was someone who could die any second, whether from his own self-deprecating ideologies, or his quirk. Being with him shouldn't make you happy, it should've made you sad, scared, worried, but he can't help and feel warm whenever he sees you smile when he eats the food you make.

Himiko Toga

Out of everyone here, I think Toga's most likely to react normally.

Obviously, she doesn't expect you to suddenly care for her, but she doesn't hate it and instead basks in it.

Toga gives me very much Harley Quinn vibes, aside from the obsession with a serial killer masochist clown, Toga is pretty similar to her in the sense that in their most basic they're just some girls who want to be loved and not be judged.

Toga's love is intense, when she loves and I mean truly loves someone, she falls incredibly deeply.

She loves 'taking care' of you, whether that's TRYING to cook meals or stealing some random knick nacks she thinks you'd like.

So when you suddenly started doing the same and actually successfully creates not burnt meals, she's elated.

She'd shower you with compliments, with love, and with so much attention it'd feel suffocating sometimes.

It's when the days grow quiet, that she shows how she truly feels, deep inside, somewhere no one ever sees.

She'd softly hug you and say thank you, and only thank you. The calm moment being an amazing thing.

Unlike Shigaraki and Dabi, even though she knows she doesn't deserve you, she would try her very best to make sure she is the best girlfriend for you.

🖤❤️🖤

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royalelusts · 4 years ago

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Could I have a request for upper demon moons with s/o gender neutral in a date in modern world ?

A/N: Here you go anon! I hope you enjoy these.

Kokushibo

I feel like he really enjoys quiet places

A day at the book store is usually you twos go to date

Just helping each other pick out books

Or finding really funny ones to make fun off

Another date you two go on regularly is to the park with your dog

Just watching you play fetch with her is enough to make Kokushibo laugh to himself

His favorite part about the walks though dont happen until the sun goes down

You two were walking hand in hand through the part

“Hey is something wrong?”

Your question caught him off guard. “Why would you say that love?”

“Well you keep checking your watch like somethings going to happen.”

Knowing you caught him he sighed leading you toward the tunnel of trees

As soon as the clock hit 9 the fairy lights in the tunnel turned on

“Oh so this is why you were in such a hurry.”

Pulling out his phone he put on a slow song and held out his hand

“May I?” “You may.”

And you two danced in the tunnel like you were the only people left on the planet

Doma

Did somebody say shopping?

He will buy you anything and everything

Oh you want that new book that your favorite author just dropped?

We’re picking it up right now

You want those shoes?

On it

Want the new video game that’s really hard to get?

Already in the bag

He absolutely loves to take you to buy clothes the most though

He pushes you out of your comfort zone in a good way

“Come on out darling. Let me see~”

“Doma I don’t know...”

“Nonsense. I bet you look amazing.”

After taking a deep breath you walked out of the changing room

“Look at yoooouuuuuu.” He squealed. “Do a turn for me won’t you.”

Rolling your eyes you complied to his wishes

“Ah you just look amazing. Yep we’re buying it.”

Yeah dates with Douma are a real confidence boost

Akaza

His dates are usually very chill

He’ll walk around town with you all day if he could

Doing whatever you wanted to do

But there is one time of year that is absolutely necessary for a date

And that my friends is fair time

You two wear matching outfits cause you’re that couple

He definitely makes it his mission to go on all the rides

Even the pirate ship

“Babe just one more time.”

You’ve had to pull him away from things more than once

You two were walking around having just got done eating when a certain clown started flying insults at your boyfriend

“Oh look at the big tough guy.” The clown teased

Of course Akaza ignored him cause he’s got self control like that😌

You two were walking away from the clown until he made a comment

“Oh I see you got a nice looking s/o with you. I would love to take them on a date.”

Yeah all self control out the window

Akaza walked straight up to the dunk booth and paid the vendor

“Come on big guy. Lemme take your lovely s/o on a date.”

Akaza smiled at the clown before hitting the target sending the other in the water

When Akaza came back you laughed

“Seems he got under your skin~”

“I can’t stand assholes like him.”

“Haha my hero.” You say giving him a kiss as a reward

Nakime

Dates with her are somewhat difficult

Don’t get her wrong, regardless of what you pick she’ll love it

But you really wish she would have some input sometimes

But that aside, stay home dates are more her style

Cuddling on the couch watching a movie, cooking together, self care nights?

The whole package

Absolutely loves when you play with her hair

Makes her soft

Lo-fi music played in the background as you typed away on your computer

Nakime, who just got out the shower, got behind you resting her head on your shoulder

“Rough day?” All she did was hum a yes

“You know what that means~” You turned around hugging her tightly

“Self care night!” She let out a soft chuckle at your antics

Hantengu

Like Kokushibo, his ideal date would be someplace quiet

But with less people

So he always has weird places to take you

There was this bookstore in this part of town very little people knew about

Or rooftop cafe that served your drinks in the strangest cups

Your favorite thing is when he find small events to take you to

“Sweetheart...I found this new cafe. Would you like to go with me?”

“Of course I will!”

The cafe was a little bigger than the ones you usually went to but not by much

There were plants everywhere, chairs were shaped like teacup mugs, and there were teddy bears of different sizes at each table

“Tengu this is adorable”

“It makes me happy you like it” He gave your hand a soft squeeze before deciding to head to the counter

Gyokko

He’d probably take you to an art museum

Since he himself is an artist he goes there to analyze insult the art pieces

“My art looks way better than whatever this is”

He said that about the Mona Lisa….THE MONA LISA

I actually see him to be a really respected artist in the art world

So he’s constantly being invited to art galleries

Of course he brings you along

Before you two met he went alone and got bored really quickly

None of the art truly caught his eye

But with you there?

He has the absolute time of his life

You two were staring at a painting

“...what is it supposed to be?” You asked tilting your head

“It’s fucking atrocious that’s what it is.”

You laughed at your boyfriend’s comment

The artist having overheard you two didn’t like the comments you were making

He was so fed up he went right up to your boyfriend

“You don’t know the first thing about art. How would you know what looks good?”

Already knowing where this was going you unhooked your arm from your boyfriend

“How would I know? Anyone with eyes can see that this doesn’t deserve to be here. These brush strokes aren’t even going the same way and you have the audacity to yell at me for not knowing anything about art?!”

(please know I know nothing about art so I’m sorry if I offended anyone🥲)

The artist having been embarrassed in front of everyone quickly exited the room

Gyokko wrapped his arm around your waist again smiling

“Ready to go love?”

Kaigaku

Dates with Kaigaku will either be super chill or chaotic

He once took you both to a rage room

It may or may not have ended with either of you crying

Another time he took you to paint pottery

It really depends on how he’s feeling that day

Tonight was going to be a chill night though

You two were laying on a mountain cuddled up on a blanket staring at the stars

“Babe look it’s orion.”

After a few seconds of him not saying anything you raised your brow “Babe?”

You looked over to see him staring at you

“Sorry I was just looking at the prettiest star ever”

You laughed at his horrible pickup line and pecked his forehead

“Thanks babe.”

Gyutaro

(ah the love of my life)

He’s not a guy who would take you to an extravagant restaurant or to walk around in a crowd

Unless that’s really want you want of course

Even then it would take a lot of convincing

You know that he doesn’t see himself that highly

(no baby you’re literally perfect please don’t talk down on yourself🥺)

He would much rather stay at his/your house and vibe

But if you REALLY REALLY want to go out he’ll arrange something

He has a spot he goes to that overlooks the city

It lets him forget his responsibilities for a while

Gyutaro: i’m outside get dressed

You raised your brow at the text but got dressed regardless

Outside he was waiting next to his motorcycle staring at the sky

“Sooo what’re we doing?”

“It’s a surprise. Here.”

He held out one of his hoodies and a helmet

You two drove for about 30 minutes before he stopped on a cliff

“We’re here.”

You walked up to the edge in awe

“Taro it’s….it’s amazing”

He hummed wrapping his arms around you resting his head on your shoulder

Yeah this is all he could ask for

Daki

Did someone say parties?

She 100% sees going to parties together as dates

I mean you get to see her in an amazing outfit

Who wouldn’t want to see that?

Now if this is your scene then there’s nothing to fix

If it’s not you’re going to have to explain that to her

You would probably take her to a flea market

Daki look around the building in utter disgust

“What the fuck? Why are we here?”

“Babe please just trust me.” You gave her a soft smile

Remembering this was supposed to be a 'date' she begrudgingly goes along with it

First you take her to the food section

She’s never seen food like this before so she’s a little hesitant

“...what is that?”

“It’s ox tail. Try it.” Hesitant she ate a piece and omg she absolutely loved it

You walk around some more until you get to the section with the perfume and jewelry

She’s absolutely amazed. They are so many different sizes with different colors.

“I want them all.”

“Babe no-”

#royal.request #demon slayer #kny #demon slayer x reader #kny x reader #upper moons x reader #kokushibo x reader #akaza x reader #nakime x reader #hantengu x reader #gyokko x reader #kaigaku x reader #gyutaro x reader #daki x reader #demon slayer fluff #kny fluff #doma x reader

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meili-sheep · 2 years ago

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Al-Haitham: To call you a clown would be an insult to the circus industry.

Kaveh: To call you a robot would be offensive to robots everywhere.

Al-Haitham: No it wouldn't. They are incapable of feeling offense, let alone the full spectrum of human emotions.

Kaveh: I- Don't play dumb with me!

Al-Haitham: I don't play at stupidity, Kaveh. And to think that you graduated from the Akademiya . . .

Kaveh: (about to strangle him, taking a deep breath) I fucking swear if you don't stop being an asshole-

Al-Haitham: I can't be an asshole because I only have one.

Kaveh: (snarkily) You very well could be with all of the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Al-Haitham: (processes) . . . fuck you.

Kaveh: (cackles) By the gods! You're actually understanding turns of phrase now! It's a miracle!

Al-Haitham: Have fun conniving the miracle that's gonna pay your tab, then.

Kaveh: No no no wait I'm sorry-

----

"Stop being annoying."

"No."

"No more coffee."

"I'll stop."

----

This is hilarious to me.

You know Kaveh being a broke bitch who is living with Al Haitham. Probably either at a cheap rent or rent-free is absolutely hilarious. To come to that deal, they had to have started out at least being friendly.

Cause I don't see Al Haitham offering his space for no reason if he wasn't at least friendly to Kaveh. And I don't see Kaveh accepting for the same reason.

And just living together has made them mortal enemies. It's wonderful.

#al haitham #al haitham genshin #kaveh #kaveh genshin #it's great cause it's real #we've all had shit roommates #Mine had her parents over #lady went into our bathroom #and informed me that me feminine hygiene products where out #Ya i know lady #I put them there #cause I need them #and it's my bathroom your in #and another roommate who stole my xbox 360 but forgot the cables

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booksrbetterthanpeople · 4 years ago

Note

The Artist Family? (new movie)

A month has passed since Marc and Nathaniel met and fell in love at age fourteen, now they’re dating

To celebrate their one month anniversary, they decide to visit one of the most romantic spots ever- The burned-down forest they met in- Only to run into some trouble

The mobs from their previous homes have still been looking for them since the incidents and were finally able to track them down

The couple manage to escape the angry mob with the help of Marc’s spiders and a friendly severed hand who cause a distraction

So they can get away quicker, That drives them in an old hearse he found in a graveyard

Marc: Mi querido, why must hoards of angry villagers follow us everywhere?

Nathaniel: *Kissing Marc’s hand* Meyn ziskeyt, I swear to you, we will find someplace so dark, so sinister, so dastardly that no one in their right mind would be caught dead in!

*They arrive in Paris*

Nathaniel: Huh. I see it’s changed over the last few centuries. And I’m noticing a lack of guillotines.

As they lament about how they can’t keep running for the rest of their lives, That, who was recklessly driving, runs over something in the middle of the road, right near an old funeral home shrouded by fog and cut off from the rest of the city

Marc/Nathaniel: *Excitedly* We hit something!

They rush to see who or what they’ve hit, and see that the figure is a blonde, pale young man who seems to have most of his organs missing

They realize that the person they ran over is Félix Culpa, a young man who died centuries ago, but was never given a funeral because the mortician prepping him got the plague. He regains consciousness and goes to attack the two, but Nathaniel just hands him their bags

Nathaniel: Thanks, man. Hey, you mind showing us around the place?

And that’s how Félix became their butler

When they arrive at the old funeral home, they’re given a very warm welcome.

Spirit of the House: GET OUT!

Marc: ... It’s hideous.

Nathaniel: It’s horrible...

Marc/Nathaniel: It’s home.

Weeks goes by, and more people begin to occupy the home, making amazing first impressions

Marinette and Alix actually snuck in and have been living in the walls for a short period of time until Félix found them

Marc found Rose resting in one of the open graves in the backyard

And Juleka Samara-crawled out of the swamp with her hair covering her face

The six of them share their backgrounds, sympathize with each other about how they were run out of their homes, and make the decision to change their last names to Artist

Now they’re sixteen while Alix is still fifteen

Meanwhile, down in Paris, Gabriel Agreste is taking the fashion world by storm, and his clothing (All basic and dull) is a big hit in Paris (For reasons no one understands but they won’t say anything for fear of not fitting in)

His son, Adrien Agreste goes for a bike ride through the woods with his two friends, Nino and Alya, where they come across the gate that separates outsiders from the Artists’ home

They’re immediately scared away when Marinette opens the creaking gate that sounds like the end of the world when opened

Also, Alix’s sinister sixteen is coming up in a few weeks, and part of the celebration is a swordfight, which she is nowhere near ready for

Nathaniel: Alix, you need to practice. It’s the day your family and friends judge you and pass judgement on your worth as a human being!... It reminds me of Hanukkah.

During one dinner, Marinette asks a question that shocks everyone

Marinette: Do you guys think things beyond the gate have changed?

Juleka: ... What?

Marinette: It’s been years, surely things must be different now. Earlier today, I swore I heard people.

Marc: Outside is forbidden.

Marinette: But-

Marc: Forbidden!

Back in the city, Gabriel is anticipating the arrival of tourists to buy his new line of clothing which he calls, Conformist

While filming a commercial, a red balloon floats astray and makes its way towards the Artists’ home, which Marinette finds as she’s “helping” Alix prepare for the Swordfight

Alix: Why are you helping me?

Marinette: Because. You are like my sister... And... I... Love... You...

Alix: ... You seem trustworthy.

Big mistake

Marinette: *Walks inside with the balloon* Good news, Alix is gone.

Marc: *Holding a sword to Nathaniel’s neck* Mari, go dig up Alix.

Marinette: You and Nathaniel are once again weakening this generation.

Nathaniel: *Points to balloon* Mari, where did you get that?

Marinette: I’m not sure.

Marc: Strange. There’s usually a murderous clown attached to the other end of these.

Juleka: *Gasp!* And what is this?! *Plucks a piece of pink confetti off of Marinette’s shoulder*

Nathaniel: Smells like cotton candy. *Off their confused looks* I was young and stupid, alright?

The Artists go outside where they find rainbow confetti raining down, and the fog that covers their home is lifting up, revealing to them the town

Much to Marc’s protests, Nathaniel suggests they go see the place for themselves

Marinette: This day is becoming most miraculously disruptive.

While filming another commercial, the Artist Family’s house is in the camera’s shot, and Gabriel passes out the second he sees it

*Somewhere else* Nino: ... I feel an overwhelming sense of... Joy.

The Artists arrive in their hearse, and immediately capture the attention of the other Parisians. They’re given strange looks wherever they go, and sometimes people run away screaming

No one has run them out with pitchforks yet. Yay!

Alix: Guys! *Pulls a tire off of a police car* They’re just giving these away!

Juleka: Alix, mind your manners, people might want tires, too.

After getting coffee grounds, the Artists come across Adrien, Alya, Nino, Chloé, and Lila in the park, prancing around in pink and blue outfits and singing about being conformists

Rose: Wow... That is absolutely horrible!

Marinette: ... *Dumps coffee grounds* I’ve suddenly lost my appetite. However, that blonde boy... Intrigues me

And it seems the feeling is mutual when Adrien steals glances at the gothic girl with braids

Rose: ... Yeah, I’m done with this song. *She hikes up the hem of her robe, releasing hundreds of bats that scare off the crowd* Done and done!

Done with these people, Marc wants to leave, Nathaniel insists that things have changed, but his boyfriend is still reluctant... Cue Gabriel

He insists on hiring interior decorators to fix up the Artists home (So tourists aren’t scared off) Marc, with some urging from Nathaniel allows him to do so.

Marinette: That man seems deranged. His face reminds me of a death mask.

*Somewhere else* Nino: In the future... I will have a new friend. Blue hair. Braids.

Back at the Artists Home, Nathaniel, Juleka, and Rose help Alix prepare for her Swordfight

Rose: Of all the Sinister Sixteens I’ve seen, Nathaniel’s was the stuff of legends.

Juleka: So no pressure!

Gabriel, Adrien, the design crew, and the news crew arrive, ready to remove the gloom and macabre form the Artists’ home

Félix: *Answers the door* Youuuuuu raaaaaanng?

Adrien: *Calling Alya and Nino* Hey, so I’m going into the creepy mansion. If I don’t come back, I’m dead... I love you too, Nino... Yes, Alya, I know he’s your boyfriend.

Much to his relief, Adrien is left outside and goes around back to explore

Gabriel: I do hope this isn’t a bad time.

Nathaniel: The worst!... Do come in.

Gabriel spends most of the time making light criticisms and jabs at the decor, the Artists themselves, their clothes, and Marc’s spiders (Which he considers the greatest insult)

Meanwhile in the backyard, Adrien is nearly killed by a crossbow. To his horror and awe, he finds the shooter: Marinette in all of her dark glory

Immediately, he develops a small crush on her. She’s not like the other girls at school who constantly cling to and flirt with him because of his father’s wealth

He tries his hand at impressing her by shooting an arrow, but accidentally shoots Rose, which actually does impress Marinette

Adrien: So, why haven’t I seen you and your siblings at school?

Marinette: We’re coven-schooled. But, blondie, do tell... *Leans in close so she can hear Adrien’s rapid heartbeat* Can anyone attend your school?

Gabriel and his crew leave, having made no renovations to the Artists’ home. And when Nathaniel explains that family and friends will be coming over for Alix’s Sinister Sixteen, that just motivates the designer even more

Down in Gabriel’s secret lair, he spies on the Parisians through a social media app where he fills the comments section with rumors about the Artists, saying they’re anarchists and breed spiders... Okay, so they’re not all rumors

*The Next Day* Nathaniel: Monochrome, I know the man is an eccentric, but- *Marinette appears behind him* Aah!

Marc: Mari, you know Nathaniel scares easily. Practice your lurking on someone else. *Marinette appears behind him* Better. Now what’s on your mind?

Marinette explains that she wants to atener school, much to Marc’s horror and Nathaniel’s excitement. She needs to torment more kids her own age.

Marc doesn’t want her to go, worried she might fall under the influence of the... Conformists, but Nathaniel somehow convinced him

Marinette walking into school: Ah, so these are the gates of hell.

Adrien, while being crowded by girls he doesn’t even like (Especially Lila and Chloé) becomes awestruck when he sees Marinette walking in. She looks like a beautiful demon queen

Lila and Chloé see this and try to intimidate her, but this is what Marinette says,

Marinette: Listen you future plastic surgery disasters, I’m not locked in here with either of you. You and your outdated, distasteful “outfits” are locked in here with me. And don’t you forget it.

Alya just might dump Nino so she can ask this girl out. Polyamory works too. / Adrien: Back of the line.

Mendelive’s biology class: They’re dissecting frogs.

Adrien: Aw, I feel bad for doing this.

Marinette: Relax. Rose showed me how to do this hundreds of times. *Cue Frankenstein equipment* FLIP THE SWITCH! *Adrien flips the switch and electrocutes all of the frogs* LIVE! LIVE MY CREATURE!

The frogs come to life and attack Lila and Chloé. Karma at its finest. Alya and Nino are impressed by her more than ever

Alya: It is an honor and a privilege to watch you work, spooky girl.

Back at the Artists’ Home, it’s game night! They’re playing the game of Death, but Marc isn’t focused. It’s late and he’s wondering where Marinette is

Finally, she arrives, but much to Marc’s horror, she has a Ladybug hair clip! He’s in so much shock that his face flushes red and a bat has to drink his blood

Marc: What. Is. That?

Marinette: Adrien calls it a “Pop of color” says it brings out my... Smile.

Marc: You don’t have a smile.

In order to see what’s going on with his sister/friend, Marc suggests they do ‘Tea & Seance’ like old times... Only she bails to hang out with Adrien, and they give each other makeovers as acts of rebellion

Meanwhile, Alix is upset because she still can’t get the hang of sword fighting and Nathaniel has been working so hard to help her

Marinette returns from her hangout with Adrien, almost making Marc faint when she shows up wearing pink and her hair in pigtails.

Marc: Okay, this is where I sever the line! You are not going back to that school!

Marinette: *Gives him the evil eye before leaving* You can’t tell me what to do.

Juleka: Dear Hades, that is some evil eye.

Horrified by Adrien’s new gothic look and attitude, Gabriel spreads more rumors about the Artists

Frustrated by the lack of support from her family/friends, Marinette runs away and goes to stay with Adrien

Alix: I always knew it would end up like this. Just didn’t know when.

Marinette: Farewell, Alix! I will never forget you, but I’ll try.

The next morning, Marinette, Alya, and Nino are helping Adrien look for his phone, which Gabriel his hidden punishment for his new look

While looking, they stumble across Gabriel’s lair and discover he’s been spying on everyone in Paris. Gabriel discovers them snooping and locks them in Adrien’s room while he goes to greet the tourists... And some unexpected guests

Nathalie: *Dials Gabriel* Gabriel, it’s an emergency. They’re here! The Artist Family!

The Artists more... Eccentric family members (Gina Dupain, Uncle Wang, Master Fu, Luka, Fei, Jagged, Penny, and the art teacher for example) have arrived to attend Alix’s sinister sixteen.

Things are going well so far. Juleka reunites with Luka, Fei battles Gina to the death, but Marinette still hasn’t arrived, so they do the sword fight without her... Which Alix fails.

As Nathaniel consoles her, a cannonball shoots through the wall. Gabriel somehow got a catapult for the mob to use

Marc: It’s Gabriel. He’s turned the town into a mob.

Juleka: I oddly admire his determination.

While the mob fires more cannonballs and destroy the house, Alix tosses her sword and grabs her explosives, successfully protecting her family... Until a cannonball blocks their only exit and she runs out of ammo

Just as the ceiling begins to fall and it seems like the end, Marinette, Adrien, Alya, and Nino come in just in time and save them all thanks to the possessed tree

She and Marc reconcile

Marc: I’m so glad you came back.

Marinette: Of course. There was no way you all could survive without me. You’re like weak kittens.

The Parisians begin having regrets about attacking the Artists (Mainly cuz they almost killed a bunch of kids), but this is interrupted by Gabriel

Gabriel: I will relish hounding you all until that nuclear waste dump you call is house is destroyed with you all in it!

Juleka: Oh, you are just begging to be dragged down to hell, aren’t you, Gabriel?

Marinette: And this family will never run from the likes of you again. *Her death glare stuns Gabriel*

Nino: Damn, I gotta learn how to do that.

Adrien finally stands up to his father and exposes how he’s been spying on everyone in the city while Alya live streams everything. Gabriel is now ruined

Months later, the Artists’ Home has been rebuilt by the guilty Parisians who learn to accept their new, weird neighbors. Also, the Spirit of the House has returned

Adrien and Marinette start dating while Alya and Nino share a mutual pining for the girl

#miraculous ladybug #marc x nathaniel #the addams family #the artist family #marinette dupain cheng #alix kudbel #nathaniel kurtzberg #marc anciel #rose lavillant #juleka couffaine #answered ask #ask me stuff #addams family au #mlb au #mlb crossover

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