#this is actually a huge thing in my head that i care deeply about lol

[burningcheese-merchant]

Merchant, what are some headcanons you have about silentlily/mystic cacao? (Aside from the ones we alr have, which I’m rlly grateful for btw🧚‍♀️) maybe even a small fic with one of these ships(I’m definitely not STARVED of content of these guys)

Do you think they have a change at redemption, and if so, would they be together with their respective ancients?

Also just so you know I got converted into the burning cheese cult the day I read your first ao3 fic about the ship, I was amazed by the writing and was craving for more, actually I’m the person named “cracker” that commented on your fics.

Thanks for feeding us with your amazing ideas 🙏🙏

CRACKER??? IS THAT REALLY YOU???

I'm so happy to hear from you again 😭😭😭 where have you been, I've missed you and your comments on my fics 😭😭😭 I love chatting with you man, it's so nice that you found me here

While I can't provide any fics right this second (my fic backlog is HUGE; for multiple stories/AUs/ships, not just BurningCheese. First one in line is a BurningCheese fic I've been sitting on for 2 months+ now. First chapter coming to AO3 soon (as in... tomorrow 👀)), I can provide headcanons at the very least. 3 each, for my old buddy 🫵❤️

Silent Salt never, ever takes off his helm. He is deeply uncomfortable showing his face to anyone, even his friends (it took them forever to learn what he looks like, even after literal years of friendship). The fact that he is not only willing to show his face to White Lily, but let her touch and remove his helm herself (that is HUGE), is a true testament to how much he trusts and cares for her

Silent Salt loves White Lily's hair. He thinks it's absolutely beautiful. She taught him how she braids it so he can do it for her, which he does every so often

I hc Silent Salt as being completely mute (like, he can't make any noise at all. As if he has no vocal cords, period. You can hear him breathing and that's it) and primarily using movement/body language to communicate his thoughts and feelings (and sign language as well, although he uses that to carry on longer and more articulate conversations). White Lily took the time to teach herself sign language so she could understand and communicate with him better, which he finds deeply touching as very, very few people have ever done that for him or anything nice at all really. Letting my personal characterization of + backstory for him slip a little here haha

While Dark Cacao and Mystic Flour are not particularly romantic (it's just not really who they are, nothing to do with not liking each other), they will both still make little gestures for each other. They take care to make each other's favorite tea, just how they like it. Flour will tuck stray strands of Cacao's hair back behind his ears when she notices them (and she always does. She pays closer attention to his face than anyone realizes). Cacao always asks Flour how her day has been, or if something is bothering her (he, too, is attentive to her face and facial expressions, and does notice subtle changes (which is also huge bc Flour wears the same damn face almost all the time lol)). Small things that actually mean quite a lot, because they stem from genuine love that does not need words or grand gestures to make itself known and understood

They are very polite and patient with one another, even when they're disagreeing (or even arguing). They will never talk over each other; they wait until the other has finished saying what they have to say before they respond. They feel a deep mutual respect for one another as individuals and try to maintain this, regardless of how tense their interactions may become

They sometimes exchange keepsakes unique to their cultures, as tokens of affection to hold onto and admire while they're apart. Scrolls, paintings, idols. Small things not really meant to take up space; just things that turn their heads or draw their eyes over for a moment and make them smile when they walk past them in the palace/Ivory Pagoda

Really makes me smile to see you again, dude. You really were there since day 1 and I'm grateful. And I'm glad I convinced you to ship BurningCheese in the first place! You and everyone else honestly 😂 it's both awesome and hilarious how many people have come to me saying I converted them to the ship. I feel I like I'm amassing a private militia lol. Gonna murder all other ships involving either character in their sleep. Gonna storm Devsis HQ and seize control of the writers' room. Gonna hoard nuclear weapons and take over the world

I hope you enjoy the stories I've written on here as well! They're mostly wholesome because as fun as Yandere Spice is, I genuinely do ship Burning Spice with Golden Cheese and want them to be happy and healthy, which is why I mainly prescribe them a slow burn romance + slow burn redemption arc for Spice lmao (they're all tagged #merchant shorts for ease of access. There are 9 in total I think. With more in the oven, because I keep forgetting to put my imagination on a leash most of the time. Trying to slowly work my way up to their wedding) I also hope you like the fan babies 👉👈 I put a lot of time and effort into creating them (please ignore my lack of artistic talent, I will improve eventually. Hopefully. I make up for it with my writing in the meantime), they're my little blorbo grandchildren

(As for that other question of yours... In my main canon + my Reformed Beasts AU (which... are kind of the same ngl lmao), yes, Flour and Salt can change. Any bad person can change their ways if only they cared enough to do so. It takes time and great effort, but eventually, they both turn over a new leaf, as all the Beasts do. As for whether or not they get together with their Ancients... wait and see. I like SilentLily and MysticCacao, but that doesn't necessarily mean they'll happen. You'll find out as I dump more stupid lore on here lol)

[cantareincminor]

Any headcanons for Sylvia and Nightfall's relationship? I see them as a cute big sister-little sister dynamic lol

I haven't really thought about Sylvia and Nightfall's dynamic, honestly. I actually hesitate to say they're like big sister little sister or apply some kind of family relationship to all coworkers. Spitballing here but let's look at their professional relationship first...

When Nightfall is first introduced, she stands out from her colleagues in that she has the balls to walk away from Handler and ignore her orders. This is even more blatant in the Code: White movie, when Handler assigns another agent to go to Frigis to support Twilight, and Nightfall bolts out of the room and claims the job. Handler literally chases her out into the hall shouting for her to stand down, and she does not listen. The hell? That kind of stuff lands you in deep trouble and formal disciplinary action in the military (assuming WISE is military intelligence).

Why does Handler put up with this?

One, WISE is extremely shortstaffed. Can't afford to be picky I suppose.

Two, Nightfall is extremely competent when her own "ambitions" align with the mission at hand. From what we've seen of WISE so far, she is second only to Twilight in all-around effectiveness on the job.

Aside from her athleticism, she thinks ten steps ahead and covers for every contingency, as seen in the Campbelldon arc:

And in the mole arc when she picks Wheeler out from the crowd against all odds:

Okay so maybe she gave herself away with that death glare, but she can't help it. Too much repressed rage and violence from not getting to be the Forger wife.

Back to Handler: when you're a leader of a drastically understaffed organization, you have no choice but to go with the people you have on hand. And I feel like Nightfall is one of those weapons that Handler has learned to deploy very strategically, to minimize the volatility of her behavior (e.g. imagine if Nightfall defied orders and took a crazy risk to impress Twilight, and then got herself or several colleagues captured by the SSS). In my own career I've worked with some very talented people who unfortunately have huge egos/a rebellious streak. They get treated like divas because they know they can get away with it. Like "what are you going to do, fire me? The org won't survive without me."

On a more personal level, it's clear Handler cares deeply about all her agents and wants the best for them as much as the job will allow. At some point between Campbelldon and the mole arc, she figures out that Nightfall has a huge crush on Twilight. At the debriefing for the Campbelldon mission, she mentions to Twilight that Nightfall went off to train in the mountains, "some tennis thing." Then she must have gotten a report from Nightfall about the fight with Winston Wheeler, and read between the lines about what happened. Maybe she saw the medical report from HQ on Wheeler's injuries, and realizes that Nightfall should not have been able to deal that much damage unless she went completely apeshit and broke her own bones with those hits. She might be the only person perceptive enough to realize that Wheeler did not inflict any of those injuries on Nightfall, but that they were self-inflicted; certainly, Twilight seems completely ignorant of this fact.

I can imagine the moment Sylvia discovers Nightfall's true "ambition," she takes a long swig of beer, shakes her head, and looks up hopelessly at the ceiling. Annoyance, anger, frustration, disbelief all flit through her mind. Maybe for a couple of days. Nightfall's compromised beyond measure. Compromise with a spy colleague is still compromise. But Sylvia lets it go and merely teases her about it:

Offscreen, she decides that getting annoyed and angry with a severely injured agent is not going to do much. Nightfall isn't scared of her anyway. So she does what she does best: hit a target where they're weakest. She flippantly informs Nightfall that she knows her most treasured, damning secret. And that's enough of a threat. Step out of line again, and oops, maybe a rumor starts around the office about your teenage infatuation with Twilight. No one can trace it back to Handler, except Nightfall would know.

But of course it's all done out of love. And for the overarching mission. For Sylvia, those go hand in hand.

[tuliptiger]

Bro I hate Silco so much. Bro. And don't get it twisted right. He's a good character, he's well written or in THE VERY LEAST incredibly interesting and compelling. To me I guess. I still can't stand him, I hate him and I think he embodies every human flaw a person can have. And every bad decision we make at our lowest points.

And for that I can't stand him in the purest way and I think that's kind of awesome. Get him out of my face though lol fuck that guy. Great presentation of what I feel a lot of people in the world are like or have the potential to be like rn.

For what he was meant to be, having just found out the original plan for him which I really shouldn't consider. Or maybe I should in favor of him, as a little grace for him. I guess Jinx and him were supposed to be like romantic. If that's your thing go for it I guess but I'm not going to talk nicely about it and it disgusts me as a heads up. Fair warning.

I'm forever grateful they didn't pull a Joker/Harley Quinn but because jesus christ I think I actually would've hated Arcane for that. For all you people complaining about Arcane, sure that's your right and it's all personal tastes anyway but it could've been actually, sincerely awful. It would've ruined Jinx as a character and undercut all of her nuance, her autonomy as a real, deeply thought out character. Her struggles, her mental health, her trauma, it would've fucking sucked.

I hate Silco for even the possibility of that and unfortunately i think it explains a little bit about some things. But anyway, back to hating Silco.

1.) He betrayed every single thing he's ever cared about in his life. He betrayed Felicia by trying to and knowingly kill her children. He betrayed the promise he made to not JUST Vander but to Felicia and himself.

Because what? Vander betrayed him first? Because he tried to kill him? Because he probably does feel genuine regret about maybe enacting the event that got Felicia killed? We never get the story but I think it's implied. Either that or Vander really was just deep in grief and rage and put that on Silco. I think they both fucked up for the record but Vander didn't CONTINUE that for the rest of his life.

What did any of that have to do with Vi and Powder/Jinx though? He's the reason everything bad happened, maybe you could blame Viktor since he went back to give Jayce the rune but every bad moment after that is almost exclusively Silco.

2.) He bribed Marcus contributing to the corruption in Piltover and Zaun. He fed drugs to Zaun for the point of nothing in my opinion. Because he couldn't come to terms with his grief, he couldn't make Piltover pay the way he wanted them too? He justified his own terrible actions for some idea of an independent Zaun for what? For who? Piltover may have taken from him but he actively chose to burn whatever he had left by trying to kill Powder and Vi.

3.) He's the reason Vi and her crew lost their loot, and their lives NOT Powder. He's the reason or at least the means for Singed to create more fucked up abominations and shimmer.

4.) He IS A HUGE SOFTIE he's soft as fuck. He loves and he loves deeply but he could never get over himself to do better. And this is possibly the main reason I hate him, he sincerely loved Vander and Jinx and Felicia and Zaun. People get hurt all the time, and it isn't the same as the trauma he faced but I DON'T think a reasonable series of decisions is to betray everything you are and have worked for to fuck over literally everyone around you. He is the scorched earth method, he wanted to hurt everyone and everything for what he felt and experienced. He's so incredibly selfish I cannot stand him.

5. A close contender, maybe even tied because I love Jinx so much. I hate that he is directly related to all of the hurt Vi and Jinx have experienced. I hate, I loath, I detest what he did to Powder and to Jinx. I feel so fed with season 2 episode 7, we DIRECTLY see what happens when Silco doesn't decide every day to hurt the world around him and hurt everyone in it. What happens to Powder without his fucked up influence.

I never thought anyone made Jinx specifically, like there isn't someone to blame because it felt diminishing to Jinx herself. But I'm rethinking it, I would say with certainty Jinx wouldn't have existed without Silco. I don't give him full credit, not in the creation of her and not her herself but the REASON she was reborn into a different person. Powder and Jinx created Jinx, but she created her because she had to, because Silco brought her into a fucked up world where she had to be different to survive.

Silco didn't support her, he enabled her, made her fear the world, fed her insecurities and projected himself into her. And because he does love, he really really did love her I think, that was what she felt she needed as a TWELVE year old girl. She needed a guardian who had her best interest at heart and not just love. Whatever support she had before, he ripped it from her and shredded it, and from that pile of rubble and ash Jinx had to find herself and emerge. But she picked herself up and chiseled herself into who she is in the series not Silco.

She's smart as a whip, she's so incredibly clever. She knew to some extent the reality of what was happening. But reality didn't have any real gravity anymore for her without something to hold her to it. Silco, at any time, could have stopped what he was doing. He could've seen her hurting and said, this isn't it. This isn't worth it. But he didn't, and she didn't need a reason to change because she had someone who fed her love when she had no one. When she thought it was all her fault and where Silco tried to convince her Vander and Vi weren't good people and that they didn't love her, won't love her.

I could go on, I fucking hate Silco. Once again, I think he's the weakest character emotionally and mentally but certainly not writing wise. He's spineless, he can kill sure, but in the main universe he couldn't get over his own feelings of guilt and hurt to do better. Nobody is satisfied with the slow progression of equity, of freedoms and peace. Silco wanted to take it all violently, take it all and take everything around it down with him.

In another universe, he's better. He makes better decisions because a different set of events led to reconciliation between Vander and him. Because Piltover made the first move of peace after Vi had to be sacrificed. Because Marcus saw a dead Zaun child in the arms of her younger sister. Because a lot of things, Silco is a better man and I think he's stronger for it.

The main universe Silco was wrong about everything he did, he made every possible bad decision on purpose over and over and over again.

The fact that I just wrote what feels like an essay on this bastard should at least show how I hate him, in the way I don't like hate hate him. I hate him in the way good art makes you hate it in just the right way. I think he's interesting enough to think about. I don't hate the alt universe Silco, I just hate the main one. He's multifaceted, he's a villain, he just kind of sucks, he moved the story in permanent ways. He forever changed the world by facilitating the events that led to Jinx as a person in Runeterra.

Anyway Yeah I really really hate Silco. Thanks for reading lol If you have some good points or different interpretations of events with Silco I would genuinely love to read them especially if they are different. I'm the first to admit I don't fully understand all the subtleties in Arcane and I love it for that, but I miss things. Changing my view on what actually happened in scenes is one of my favorite things to do right now. I crave the richer and fuller offering of a closely inspected Arcane provides tbh.

[absandersons]

"There Goes the Groom" and Buck's Queer Joy

Hey so...remember when I did post ep meta for two years? Anyway we're back like we've never left.

Best Hen <3

OBSESSED with micromanaging party planner Evan Buckley. The clipboard was there in spirit.

"You are late."

I'll take married for several years for $500, Alex.

"Ooo sliders."

"Ah ah. No."

"You didn't just do that." PLEASE

Tommy giving Eddie a bro-y high five and then a soft, sweet "hey" for Buck and a hug??? Fellas I might need to be sedated.

Also obsessed with the tinge of bitchiness in Eddie's tone. It's like jealousy without even realizing it's jealousy. And I think it's an interesting mix of "hey my best friend has a new friend" and something else that Eddie cannot label.

Ryan Guzman you must be studied for that little side eye lmfaoooo

I LOVEEEEE TOMMY HE'S SUCH A BITCH, he said I do not care for your party themes. Me for real.

Why were they all so obsessed with the sliders???? I love them all so much.

"Reach for them and you'll be pulling back a bloody stump." WITH THE RAISED EYEBROWS AND THE LITTLE HEAD TILT RYAN GUZMAN I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH.

"Wholesome, 80s-themed karaoke."

Buck was a party planner in another life and I stand by that.

"We should totally go as Crockett and Tubbs."

"Absolutely."

They are literally this meme:

The little shoulder rub that Buck gives Tommy <333333333333

The way Buck and Eddie are sitting during the party scene, Buck's arm absolutely SLUNG around his shoulder...yeah okay. Okay. I'm normal about this.

The whole party was two idiot best friends pointing at each other and saying "exactlyyyyyy." Yes, I would die for them.

I just want to say that every single thing about Chimney's journey this episode was heartbreaking and scary and I HATED that I didn't know what was going to happen to him the whole time. Ok thanks for your time.

From that guy stealing his car to every Doug jumpscare, I think they did a really good job freaking the audience (at least...me) the fuck out without actually revealing what had happened. Like..we know he's sick, we know something's wrong, but it was a well-paced episode, even if in my perfect world it would have been like two hours long lol.

And the fact that Maddie is always going to look for him, always going to find him, just like he would do for her...don't look at me I'm emo.

Chim essentially pushing the fact that he is actively dying from encephalitis to the side because being a paramedic and saving lives is so deeply ingrained in him it's something the can't forget? He's so important to me.

Then...Kevin. He's such a huge part of Chim's life, his arc, how he became a firefighter, and it essentially include him in the wedding (even though it was in a very scary way), I think it's a really great take on the idea that our loved ones who can't be there for milestones are there even when we can't see them, especially with his line "you invited me, remember?"

Doug was never there, but Kevin was, Kevin will be there even when Chim can't see him.

"I was trying to get back to you the whole time." THEY ARE EVERYTHING HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEM. ALL THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH, ALL THEY'VE HAD TO DO, AND THEY STILL FOUGHT FOR AND CAME BACK TO EACH OTHER!!!!

Bobby officiating and saying "and the Los Angeles Fire Department" THEY ARE A FAMILY!!!!

And then...perhaps one of thee most important scenes ever aired on television ever:

"Sorry I'm late, that fire was a beast."

"So are you."

And STRAIGHT in for a SERIOUS kiss??????? 911 writers room you can have my life, take it, it's already yours.

Tommy's little huff of surprise and then hum of "yeah okay I'm down for this." PUT THEM IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE CUTEST COUPLE OF ALL TIME

And last...Buck coming in to the room where his family, both blood and chosen, is, with soot all over his face, and a smile so bright that it had to have lit up the entire west coast, not caring who saw him or who knew exactly what he had just been doing...yeah, that's what this shit is all about.

EDDIE'S beautiful smile when he realizes how happy Buck is they are best friends FIRST and that is all that matters to me!!!

Hen being like "it's about damn time." SO TRUE QUEEN OF COURSE SHE KNEW!!!!!

I haven't really been able to put this into words yet, but the way they are handling Buck's bisexuality and his first relationship with someone of the same gender as him is just...it's almost astounding. It's been handled with such care, from Oliver to Lou to the writers to the NETWORK, everyone is so clearly fully onboard with this and not afraid of it.

And there's no pain here, his coming out is not born out of trauma or being forced or caught or guilty. Tommy made him feel something that he had never been able to put a name to, and Tommy is helping him figure it out. He's letting Buck be overeager without taking advantage, he's letting him move at his own pace (which, of course, is at light speed) but is also confident enough in himself to pump the brakes when he feels like he needs to.

I just can't get enough of that smile, of how fucking happy Buck is. Happy in himself, happy with Tommy, happy to finally have a name for who he is, and not be afraid to share it with the people he loves. His parents' reactions don't matter, because he knows the people that matter to him most won't care who he's with, as long as he loves them and they treat him well.

It's such a huge step for Buck, who has so often fallen prey to what other people might think, it's so refreshing to see him get to explore this without fear of what others will say. Tommy is a steady constant, experienced and knows who he is. He teases Buck and calls him Evan and flirts with him shamelessly, and it flusters him in the best way.

To see a character like Buck, who was, essentially, billed as straight from the beginning of the show, be able to come in to himself and experience real queer joy...wow. For me, it just can't be overstated.

I can't wait to see where Buck's journey goes, and I am just so...grateful to be able to watch it.

[stupidlittlespirit]

something so confusing for me being on the aro/ace spectrum is how I am so deeply in love with fictional characters, but feel disgusted by real people. like I understand a huge part of it is the fact that these characters arent real and the reason why I love them sm is BECAUSE they are unachievable, but I cant help but think.. "no.. if ford was real, I WOULD want to marry him.." Lol?? maybe thats just the hyperfixation talking, but idk.. why do I feel like I absolutely would want to date these characters if they were real.. if i dont even want to date real people??? does that make sense?

So, this is actually something I've put a lot of thought into because I have the same line of questioning! I'll try to put into words what I've found in relation to myself and it might help?

I believe, as you said, the reason aro and ace people enjoy fictional romance is because it isn't real.

Really think about if Ford (or any character you like) was actually real. Picture them with real person features, maybe compare them to a celebrity they might resemble a bit or build a real-world picture of them in your head. Make them so they are no longer a character but a real life, living and breathing person. Give them the features of a real person, real behaviours, real faults, real things. Then picture being in a relationship with that REAL person, picture having sex with that real person.

For me, this is where it changes. If this 'ideal' person came into my life and they were next to me right now, would I genuinely want to have sex with them? Apply the feelings you get in real life when that scenario comes up (assuming you don't want to/care to have sex irl of course) and picture them proposing that to you.

When I do that, I realise that actually no, I wouldn't want that. I'd want to be bffs with them and hang out, maybe QPR style, but I wouldn't actually want to engage with them in other ways. I'd hold hands and be in the type of ace relationship I'd want in real life, but I wouldn't actually care about having sex with them. I wouldn't feel the need to be IN love with them. Just loving them as my companion would be plenty.

I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's what I do whenever I doubt myself and it makes it clearer for me. Removing all the safety nets I use when I fantasise (not real, won't reciprocate, no pressure) reveals to me that I wouldn't like it if there was a chance of having to actually 'go through' with it all.

My fantasy doesn't equal my real world experience, basically.

You hit the nail on the head when you said 'if Ford WAS real'. He isn't real and there's no risk of him being real, which means you're still operating within the safe realm of fantasy there. So if he somehow became real, that dynamic changes and becomes something else the second it enters tangible existence.

Obviously, your experience could be totally different so you have to adapt it for yourself but that's how I experience it :)

[destinyc1020]

Honestly, as a spectator and industry exec in my head, I worry about the two of them being so completely connected with each other as far as their careers. The only two couples I could compare it to is Nicole and Tom Cruise or maybe even Melissa McCarthy and her husband working together a lot. Maybe Emily Blunt and John Krasinski too because I've seen similarly nasty things about them that I have about Tom and Zendaya. I cringe when one of them books something and people automatically ask if the other is going to be in it. That's not how most actor couples work. They may do something together, but it's sporadic. They already kind of did sporadic when you already have the Spider-man trilogy.

But I've said time and time again, they've had ample opportunity to try to separate a bit. But they both keep taking it up a level. On top of that, they both pay professionals to manage and consult on their images. If they or their advisors thought their whole thing was a huge problem they would have stopped or done something differently a long time ago. They literally have to cross continents to stay together. It would have been so easy for them to be doing something different. We both know they care deeply about their images. Both of them have said so multiple times, but here they are.

Fans need to just accept that Tom and Zendaya are Sonny and Cher (i.e. basically MARRIED lol), and enjoy it lol. 😅🤣

If they didn't want to be together or linked together, then they wouldn't...period. OBVIOUSLY they do, so..... 🤷🏾‍♀️

I don't see the problem? I think it's cute.

Many Hollywood couples have been this way, and I've listed several.

They obviously see themselves as married in their heads lol. They have worked together several times before. Maybe they (*gasp!*) actually LIKE working with each other?? Gee...imagine that... 🤔

You all are in here squabbling about minor things about them on the internet, and meanwhile, Tom and Zendaya are over here building a Tomdaya EMPIRE in Hollywood rotfl. 🤣

[jerzwriter]

Celebrate

Thank you to @brycesgirl for the suggestion: Ethan, Kaycee, celebration from this ask. (I don't know litg, so I hope this works!) As always, I ignored the 100-word thing, but it's under 1,000 and that's huge for me! lol I hope you enjoy it.

Book: Open Heart (Post-Series) Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan) Featuring: Tobias Carrick Rating: Teen Words: 869 Summary: Ethan isn't happy when Tobias announces he's leaving on a WHO mission. Kaycee humorously helps him understand why while getting a little payback to boot. In the end, is there anything to celebrate? A/N: Participating in @choicesseptemberchallenge2023 Day 22 Friendship

“Oh, these are perfect!” Kaycee beamed as the balloon bouquet was delivered to the diagnostic team’s office. “He’ll love this!”

Ethan looked up from behind his desk and grumbled something unintelligible under his breath. Ignoring his lack of enthusiasm, Kaycee continued arranging decorations.

“You know, if you start feigning the slightest bit of excitement now, Tobias might actually believe you’re being supportive when he arrives.”

“You’re wrong,” Ethan deadpanned. “If anyone could see right through me, it would be him.”

Noting Kaycee’s raised eyebrow, he quickly corrected himself. “Next to you, of course... dear.”

“Fair attempt at a save,” she grinned. “I don’t understand why you aren’t happy for him. Being selected for this mission is a big honor and a phenomenal opportunity... not just for him, but for the team and Edenbrook, too. The positive media coverage alone has been helpful, and he hasn’t even left yet.”

“Mmmm,” he replied, barely paying attention.

“Oh, I see,” she replied sarcastically. “We’re only supposed to be enthusiastic about WHO missions if the person is using the trip because they’re too much of a wuss to face the feelings they’re developing for the love of their life. I understand now.”

It worked. She had his attention.

“Wait... what? That’s not the only reason I went on that mission!”

“Only,” she smiled triumphantly. “So, are you finally admitting that was one of the reasons?”

He could argue and try to make his point, but he merely smiled with a shake of his head.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?”

“Hey, I accepted your proposal twice,” she winked. “I’ve obviously let it go, but I will be ribbing you for the rest of your life, so...”

“Fair enough,” he grinned.

“But Ethan, honestly, why aren’t you being more supportive of Tobias? He’ll never admit it, but it would mean so much to him.”

“Because it’s six months. That is too long to be away from the team.”

“Says who? Harper and Baz both agreed to pick up cases, and we have the new fellow beginning next month. We will be more than able to handle our caseload. Otherwise, administration wouldn’t have approved this.”

“So we have to bring a new fellow up to speed down one permanent member?”

“Dr. Ramsey, are you saying we can’t survive without Dr. Carrick?”

“What! No! Of course not!”

“Then what are you saying, my love?”

He didn’t appreciate the condescending tone, no matter how adorable she looked delivering it. But that wasn’t what was eating at him; it was his inability to come up with an answer as to what had been nagging at him ever since Tobias made his announcement.

“It’s OK, you know,” she whispered.

“What is?”

“To admit that you’re doing to miss him.”

“I did not say I’m going to miss him!”

“Of course you will!” Kaycee insisted. “There aren’t that many people who find your curmudgeonly demeanor endearing, and now one of them will be on the other side of the world for half a year... just when you’ve gotten used to having a buddy to watch Red Sox games with again.”

Ethan inhaled deeply as he leaned back, acceptance reluctantly settling in.

“I suppose I will miss the ass.”

“See!” Casey beamed. “It kind of sucks when someone you care about just takes off on a WHO mission. Of course, Tobias told us about his, but...”

“Are you finished?” Ethan interrupted.

Happy to know she hit her mark, Kaycee sat on Ethan’s lap in a fit of giggles.

“I am,” she replied with a quick peck on his cheek. “It’s OK, baby. I already talked to Bryce. He promised to make some time for you while Tobias is away.”

“You what?”

“Hush, hon. It didn’t cost me that much; you can thank me later. For now, I need you to help me set up the room. Breakfast will be arriving any minute, and I want everything to be set up before Tobias arrives.”

“Too late for that,” a voice chimed from the door.

“Tobias!” Kaycee yelled. “Why the hell are you early! I wanted this to be a surprise celebration!”

“Oh, it’s a surprise, all right,” he jeered as Ethan sighed uncomfortably.

“How much of that conversation did you hear?”

“Enough,” Tobias grinned. “Admit it, man... you love me.”

“I’ll admit no such thing!”

“Ethan....” Tobias chided, when Kaycee stepped in.

“Tobias, really? It took him how long to admit he loves me, and I do some things for him that you just... don’t.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Ethan spat as two of the people most dear to him chuckled at his expense.

“It’s OK,” Tobias said with a pat on his friend’s shoulder. “I know the truth now. So, you need help with the decorations?”

“For your celebration?” Kaycee mocked.

“Hey, if he’s not gonna help.”

Ethan stood up with a huff. “Sit down and shut up, Carrick. I’ve got this.”

Tobias quickly claimed Ethan’s seat, placing his feet up on his desk. “Man, I’m feeling the love.”

“I didn’t really plan for this,” Kaycee laughed, pointing to Ethan decorating as Tobias hogged up his seat.

“Gotta give it to you, kid,” Tobias grinned. “You really know how to celebrate.”

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[almostfoxglove]

god but has your blog and your writing been a life raft for me lately. without boring you with the details, i’ve found genuinely some of the only moments i’ve been able to breathe in the things you’ve been writing (and reblogging! your recs are peak!) lately. i would say that it’s an “oops, all bangers” situation, but it feels like these things stop being an accident and end up in the “yeah, that tracks” lane of enjoyment. 

when i read Lock The Gate’s epilogue, i was also so thrilled to see ellie, because the way you write her is always so tangible and charming! she’s a foul-mouthed but ultimately earnest kid, and man do you slip the pieces together to fit just right. bonding over knives; she and joel handled that particular subject very similarly, lol. 

i was also pretty overcome with how much i wanted knives to have a happy-ish ending, even if it means bidding a stunted but painful goodbye to the place frank and bill loved the way they wanted to; loved or loved in, either way. but sometimes life is complicated! sometimes you have to sort some shit out before you can move on, and joel trusts her to stay alive! plus there’s an endless well of untapped grief in there, so i’m proud of knives for stepping out a little bit more. i really do like the ambiguity, because today i feel a tragedy, but tomorrow i know i’ll want them happy. it’s not a bad thing to have both doors unlocked to step between at will.

now in that most recent chapter of See You At Three… it’s just a remarkable thing how much seeing something work out can make you feel. look at them, finding happiness. look at them, living knowing there’s something solid there to step on, even if all their lives it’s kind of looked like frosted ice, and these two lovable idiots are finally stepping on it. gah. my heart. GAH. i feel like they both bleed a sort of terrified giddiness, only at this point joel has put his hands up and surrendered to tumbling off the cliff, rocky shores be damned. don’t think i’ll ever tire of seeing them care unabashedly about each other. it’s good for the heart. it’s funny, because i’m actually not even a huge smut enjoyer or anything; i’m just sitting here on the sidelines waving my little flags and pom-poms, willing them to let themselves find happiness together. 

and then there’s Read It Again… oh, javi. i have such a soft spot for the ones that hide their dorky passion, and obviously it’s any creative’s dream to have something they made seen and understood, much less cared so deeply about by the people helping to bring it to life that you can fall into the world that you see in your own head. it’s also a pretty rare POV for fics, i think, where the reader-character is the celebrity and the character the fan. i imagine having your book opened up and not just looked at, not just read, but seen is an absolutely mind blowing experience. somebody looking at characters that embody something to you, characters that even as you portray them the best you can you can never truly capture them in a way that everyone will see them as you do, and making them real.

anyway that’s all for now, because i’m not in the best of shapes, haha. but i will leave you with a little blurb from a ghost-dieter (fan-spinoff… thing…?) inspired by The Prettiest that i originally meant to make as a surprise gift for you! struggling to write even the messy 1k words or so that i scrapped gave me a serious appreciation for how excellent your art is, and it might be for the best anyway since i don’t know how well it would have been received to make that out of the blue, haha. but here you go! the Single Bit i liked too much to forget. ->

[… Dieter is beginning to think that he even remembers why he started doing drugs in the first place, because of all these endless facts that appear and stick like scripts and headlines and bad nightmares used to.

Logically, he remembers. But now, his restless brain is almost like a blessing. He can look at you when you're heading out for the day and practically map out your schedule based on how you're dressed, how you hold yourself, what you do or say. He wants to chase after you, sometimes to call you and say you forgot your car keys and he doesn't want you to have to climb the stairs again; sometimes just because he wants to be with you. To hold you, or at least to hover like he can. To walk beside you, feel the sun with you. Death has forced him to be selfless. It’s a strange skin...]

- that one long and rambling anon

RAMBLING ANON BABY HI!!! I'm so sorry this has taken me a minute to reply to - I am deeply behind on my messages (sorry pals) but fuck if this doesn't make me teary eyed to read all over again :,) I am so sorry to hear you're having a hard time right now and am sending you the biggest bear-est of joel miller hugs. the fact that anything I've written can bring you a little bit of escape means the whole wide world to me!! (and hell yeah, SO delighted you've been digging the fics I've reblogged - there are so many talented folks in this community?? we are BLESSED truly)

ack! I had the exact same feeling writing the end of lock the gate - the lovey-dovey half of my heart wanted to smash em together like barbie dolls and send em off into the sunset hahaha (buuuuuuut, you know, I do see there being a sequel for them in the future... lowkey... hehe) - knowing you were rooting for them makes me so happy!! and thank you for your kind words about syat and read it again, ACK. YOU ARE TOO KIND TO ME. MY HEART FEELS TOO BIG FOR MY CHEST :,)

and AHHH HELLOO?? I'm sobbing over your dieter lines - "Death has forced him to be selfless. It’s a strange skin." IS GONNA MAKE ME LOSE IT LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN - THAT'S SO GOOD AND OWIE. that man has been ROTTING my brain. I loved what you wrote, thank you so much for sharing it with me :,,) love love love love.

seriously, from the very bottom of my heart, I appreciate you so much. please know I am sending you so much love rn and hope you feel a little brighter very very soon <3 I love you!! a lot!!

[imnotgrimimjustagrumpyreaper]

Dukeceit (because I have to be real, that's all that's on this list) Fanfic recs.

This is Grim's favorite Dukeceit fic ,to ring in the new year. A disclaimer, I am well aware that all of these are WILDLY popular, and don't need my help, but you know what? I love them, and I wanna talk about them. One thing you're gonna learn about me REAL quick is that I love a silly little AU lol.

For All the Sacred Selfless Days. 

A university AU with Remus and Janus as professors. Remus’s coworkers keep trying to set him up on blind dates, and seeing as how he’s demi-romantic, he’s really not down for that. So, he asks his long suffering best friend, Janus, to help him out. To fake date him, at least until the big party to welcome all the newly tenured professors…Only problem is, Janus, actually is, just a bit in love with his best friend. 

(For All the Sacred Selfless Days is LEGIT probably in my top three fics of all time for any fandom, all the fics in this series are great, but this is the one that really sticks with me. I can honestly say it's been a HUGE inspiration in my own writing intentionally and unintentionally.) 

Persistent Ghosts (Sing of Home).

Based on Steven King’s “Misery,” Janus is kidnapped. In this deeply sad and grounded depiction of grief and all the forms it takes, everyone thinks he’s dead, and struggles with moving on from him being dead. He’s not dead, he comes home, and in the next chapter…Everyone struggles to move on from him being “Dead.”

(I honest to god forget this one exists, sometimes because I’m careful not to over read it, so that when I do go back and reread it, I can experience it like new. This is one of those extremely well crafted fics that makes you question your life, your sanity. It never fails to make me cry. I love this fic so fucking much, it’s just so well written, man. Side note, just re-read this. THIS is the reason why there is a reference to Misery in TMDORG. This is why Janus wants to be an author, this is the reason -I- realized I want to be an author FUCKKIN HELL MANNN). 

Punch Drunk (On Your Human Touch).

Set in a soulmate-verse turned cyberpunk dystopia where there’s an upper city, and a lower one, you follow Janus, who runs his business by knowing things about people in both. He’s been caught, and brought to a bar by someone who he knows nothing about: The Duke, a crime lord. “So, tell me, snakes and wires, what makes you human?” 

(THEY HAVE TEETH IN THIS ONE. I love a good soft fic where characters are soft as much as the next guy but WHOOOO BOY. I LOVE IT WHEN THEY HAVE TEETH AND SHARP EDGES. The world building in this is INSANE. The amount that’s introduced and how it all weaves together makes my head spin. I think about it constantly.)

SO THERE YOU HAVE IT. Grim's favorite dukeceit fics, because I'm back on my bullshit. Read them, if you haven't, and here's to all the new fics of the new year!

[wandaluvstacos]

dragon saddle design

i hate that people don't think deeply about dragon saddles cuz I certainly have. I hate that people are like "oh you just put a horse saddle on a dragon." WRONG. A horse cannot fly at 2000 feet in the sky, fly vertically down or up, or do a barrel roll. If they do, you're dead. like damn my horse stepped in a hole at a walk and I fell off, and that was only a fall of about 5 feet. A dragon saddle needs to look more like a roller coaster ride harness. These things are actually designed to keep you on no matter what.

I know people like the look of horse saddles but this shit will get you murdered instantly

at least this saddle kinda makes it hard to fall off backwards or forwards

Personally if I were designing one, the key features would be:

Laying down design: The wind you'll get at cruising heights when you're sitting up will be significant and uncomfortable. Also, if you're riding that thing for hours, it makes sense to lay down cuz you can also take a nap (if you don't need to be steering). Also, it's much easier to stay on a wobbling monster in the sky when you're laying down on your stomach than if you're sitting straight. ALSO, if the dragon is not horse-sized, you cannot straddle it unless you know how to do the splits.

Like when I saw this I thought: oh you are falling off IMMEDIATELY

2. YOU NEED TO BELTED THE FUCK IN. I'm talking straps, straps, and more straps. Failsafes for your failsafes. Think of rockclimbing harnesses. Shit that will keep you on that dragon no matter what.

3. Something rigid to brace against. For this I think of how side saddles work, in that you've got two cups for your thighs for support.

I'm thinking something like this, but something you can wedge yourself under so that when your dragon does a barrell roll, you aren't getting thrown around. Again, think of how the bars work on a roller coaster.

I think it's worth considering how the saddle is connected to the dragon. It takes significant strength to buckle a girth on a horse. Dragons are much bigger than horses, so to buckle a girth even three times the size of one on a horse would be a huge chore. You also need more failsafes. Girths come loose on horses sometimes. This is something you DON'T want happening in the sky. I'm thinking multiple straps with multiple smaller buckles, as well as a second harness that attaches you to the actual dragon and not the saddle.

Lastly, I do see bits used on dragons and I think it's a bad idea. Bits only work on horses because they have a huge gap between their molars and front teeth, and nothing is sharp. This wouldn't work on a dog, cat, or anything that has a consistent row of teeth. They'd end up just constantly biting the metal. Also, dragons spit fire! That bit would get melted so fast!

I think a much better idea is to use a bullring.

These are a rather quick installation on a young calf, and because they work on sensitive, soft tissues, they're much more responsive than trying to steer via the horns or neck or face. If you've got a 3000 lb dragon, there's NO FUCKING WAY you are controlling that thing with a regular halter and reins unless you've got a mindlink or something. A bullring takes care of that issues, and they look bad ass anyway.

Also, I know this is AI garbage but anything that requires you to sit IN FRONT of the wings is just... not going to work lol. No one rides a horse on top of their shoulders. You ride behind the shoulder for a reason (so you don't immediately fall over their head every time they stop)

[saccharinenectarine123]

also! i just read run rabbit run (amazing btw) and i was wondering if u would be willing to go more into detail about what happened between lando and oscar post brazil ‘24…

ik we already got a huge paragraph about it but i’m greedy and in love with ur story

i feel like there’s so much potential for rough and rancid and ‘kind of reluctant to take it all out on oscar but not really’ lando, and super-fucking-into-it oscar lol

Aw thanks so much Anonie <3 So glad that you loved it! It was a joy to write so I'm so glad it's a joy to read.

Strap yourself in, this is a long one. You actually opened pandora's box fr:

This short scene was verryy fun to write for me because it was also one of the strongest plot glimpses into this vibe about oscar that simmered underneath his whole character but really came into its own over the course of chapter 3.

Oscar in run rabbit run had such a streak of ruthlessness. It was something that was so endemic to him that he almost wouldn't even be able to pin it down and name it on his own. It just is part of who he is, down to his very core. I feel he would just say 'i'm ambitious' or 'hardworking' or 'willing to do what it takes'. But to actually distill it down to the word 'ruthless' instead of dancing around it...if someone pointed it out to him, he would pause for a second and absolutely own it (i see him reacting exactly like in the gif I linked to). But it's a funny little blindspot his character has. He's just oscar (and oscar just so happens to be unrepentantly ruthless).

In saying all that, post Brazil, I had such a clear idea in my head that the race was absolutely atrocious for lando. Maybe he crashed out 2 laps from the end from his own mistake. Or someone crashed into him. Or maybe he had to DNF very early and spent the rest of the race watching oscar in an interesting role reversal from chapter 1. But either way, the race was awful and he was pissed and having to do media through gritted teeth as journalists were rude and snipey and doing everything to provoke a delicious sound bite out of him. It made him furious.

So coming off that, oscar would have guessed, or taken one look at lando e.g. in the media pen and clocked exactly how pissed lando was (the glint in his eyes, tension around his mouth, the stiff line of his back, the way his hands were twitching as if he wanted to wrap them around some dickhead journalist's throat etc). More to the point, oscar would have immediately known exactly how to best "stress relieve" lando (to his best advantage).

By that point, oscar knows a few things about lando: (1) lando deeply enjoys being in control (and this is where the dom/sub dynamics come in), (2) lando is feeling a severe lack of control, because his race went tits up and (3) lando is very careful with oscar in bed (a soft!dom with him, if you will).

So I have a few ideas of what oscar would have done but, considering the time constraints (as they only have like 20 mins before team debrief), oscar would have brushed up against lando in passing in the media pen and whispered something along the lines of "I'll be waiting in my driver room if you want to fuck out that tension". He's not really offering lando sex, as much as he's offering lando control. That's what's really intoxicating to lando. And oscar knows it, and is willing to exploit it.

So now lando's horny (but really, seduced by the offer of being able to exercise control in a d/s dynamic) on top of being very pissed off and he stalks down the corridor into oscar's driver room (and I have this very clear image of him stalking the halls like a predator and ignoring anyone who tries to talk to him). Oscar's waiting naked on his knees for lando. He's a very good boy for him.

Lando obviously takes him up on his offer and they end up fucking but oscar can feel that lando is holding himself back because he's still worried about genuinely hurting oscar. Oscar's frustrated because he's 80% sure he can take what lando needs to dish out (and the spare 20% is inconsequential, he'll make it work if it breaks him) and the whole point was to get lando to get his top/dom kick out of the situation PLUS release tension, but it's only happening at like 40%.

So he probably tries goading lando (which doesn't work, that just gets him pressed face down into a pillow to muffle his words, or fingers stuffed in his mouth to gag him). So he tries a different tactic: he uses his submission. He starts moaning and pushing back so sweetly, stroking lando's ego by telling him how good he feels, and starts begging for more (along the lines of "please, please, harder, lando, i need it, more") and that's what finally works. lando finally fucks him as hard as he needs. stress relieved ;)

Oscar does all of this for a few reasons but the most compelling one for me is that he wants to give lando something that he can only get from oscar. A heady, intoxicating mix of control, sexual release and a safe haven from shitty race. Oscar is willing to do anything he can to make lando as obsessed with him as possible. He'll use anything to achieve it. He'll pavlov bell lando into loving shitty races because he'll know that oscar will be waiting for him at the other end, open and willing and accepting.

FYI all of the above are things I didn't want to go into too explicitly in this story (and especially that very short scene) because I loved that there was a levity to it. I wanted it to be more 'fun and freaky' than 'darkly obsessive'. I wanted the darkness to more creep up when you thought about it a little too hard. A little 'wait a damn minute' around the smut and the lols. The most overt bits came from the allusions and metaphors e.g. how oscar thought about their relationship - the fleeting idea he was a frog being happily vivisected, lando kissing him with a mouth stained with the blood of his slain best friend, that oscar was michaelangelo painting the sistine chapel with his raw fingertips and absolutely loving it. These little psycho glimpses of his true thoughts - and again, his core ruthlessness that he doesn't really notice but just is.

Maybe I'll explore obsession and control in more overtly darker fics as these concepts fascinate me.

(Side note: on point (3) above, there's backstory that's very interesting to me, in that lando is not ordinarily a soft!dom. I very easily see him being quite harsh and uncaring of the people he usually sleeps with. He would see them as quite disposable, essentially just cheap sex toys for his pleasure, to be discarded and replaced on the regular.

But there's something about oscar that compels him to be softer in bed...Oscar is his teammate so there are possible professional repercussions if he really hurts him. They also have a mutual friend in max f, and max f would 100% give lando a *look* if lando was horrid to oscar and say something along the lines that lando 'is better than that, and if not, maybe he should be better than that'. That would stick with lando for a long time. Maybe it's the fact that oscar's an extremely inexperienced virgin (and lando hasn't slept with someone like that in forever). Virginity is a construct etc but he'll still have a feeling of being handed something precious, like a piece of handmade, fine crystal art...upon holding it in his hands and gazing upon its beauty, he finds his hands want to cradle instead of destroy. It's a softer side of him that would only come out around his very closest loved ones...maybe just max f and his mum.

There's also something deeply compelling about the fact that lando knows oscar has been utterly obsessed with him for years, and would swallow any bs lando gave him and beg for another crumb. In the face of true utter devotion, lando would surprise himself by also being benevolent. At the end of the day, I think he just deeply, violently needs to be loved and adored by the close people around him, and oscar gives him everything he has, and has done, for years. Lando absolutely lovedddd that oscar was commenting and liking on all his shit from when he was 14 onwards. It tickles him. Here is someone who can actually prove he adores him. It's also the fact that oscar didn't go running away from him when he actually got to know lando in real life, in fact, he scooched in even closer and closer at every opportunity and matched his freak at every turn.

I actually think if lando wasn't a soft!dom their relationship would have had to be very toxic and painful and I wasn't in the mood to write anything too achy lol. I wanted surprising sweetness and to keep the fic lighter and fun!)

[rigginsstreet]

Tell me your personal thoughts on Heather being headcanoned as lesbian VS bisexual.

i am a bisexual!heather truther and no one will ever convince me otherwise

i am bisexual, so she is too

her hardcore crushing on billy cannot be ignored. i refuse to let it be ignored. this aspect of their relationship is very important to me not just because it shows she was attracted to him, but because it shows she actually cares about him (shower scene). heather is the only character shown to care about billy pre-possession. she had a genuine interest in his wellbeing and yes that doesnt strictly equate to romantic feelings but to ME this all ties together. also, i like the aspect of her having a crush on him, but hes gay, and they maintain a friendship without it ever being awkward (billy never lets her forget how she wanted him so so bad this is also a key point of their relationship)

i like the parallel with stobin. except heather wears bisexuality better than steve i refuse to let that man be my only representation in that foursome

lesbian!heather headcanons just rub me the wrong way. theres this trend in fandom where female characters just are not allowed to be attracted to men that i do not like. its either make the character a lesbian, or you say shes bisexual (or the character is canonically bisexual) but dont ever let her date a man! cant let her be attracted to men! only women! reads very biphobic to me and i dont care for that one bit!

i have more to say about her canonically liking billy lol ok so that one scene where shes by the picnic table and some guy is next to her (they could just be talking to each other but i got the impression there couldve been some flirting), in my head its a situation heather finds herself in often; guys want to flirt with her, be with her, have her attention. and heather loves having attention on her, relishes in it. makes everyone come to her. which adds more to the fact that shes the one pursuing billy. do i think heathers a huge flirt? yes. do i think shes putting effort like that in with everyone? no.

billy and heather competing over guys. another deeply important headcanon to me. they play wingman to each other just as much as they fight tooth and nail to get a guy in their bed. its a sport. its fun (until one of them loses and then its like 3 days no speaking. its a whole thing)

heather makes guys come to her (unless shes REALLY into someone, then she has no problems making the first move). with girls, she generally pursues them only because hawkins is a small town with no out gay people and she's gonna die of old age waiting around for someone to figure out shes into chicks too and she does not have the patience for that okay. plus shes known for being a flirt anyway so if she goes for a girl who happens to be straight her come ons are subtle enough that they just chalk it up to "heather being heather"

[golbrocklovely]

Not SnC related, but what are your thoughts on Matt Rife? Last I checked, Sam still followed him on IG 🤷🏼‍♀️

matt rife is a very interesting person lol

i never really saw him blow up on tiktok (or at least on my fyp) but i had heard about him and some of the thirst edits that had been shared about him. and i knew overall that a lot of ppl, women mostly, found him hot.

what i find the most fascinating about him is how much of a case study he really is for confidence and how important that can be to the success or downfall of a person.

(this became so long i'm sorry lol)

so idk if it's true that he got surgery done to make his face look more manly. i know he admitted to the veneers, i believe, but they wouldn't have changed up his face that much. so... i'm gonna believe the possible filler allegations lol

i think one of the reasons why things kinda fell off for him is bc he wasn't confident in himself whatsoever, and then like most men who feel like shit, he took it out on women.

bc let me tell you a little something about myself: i have been plus size my entire life. came out the womb with thunder thighs. not even joking about that. for years, and i mean years, i legit thought if i could just be skinny, i'll be happy. if i could just look like what ppl want me to look like, i'll feel better about myself. and it took til i was about 25ish to finally realize being skinny was NEVER gonna make me magically like myself. i had lost weight before, 40 pounds one time, 60 pounds another. but it never made me like myself. sure, i guess i felt better in the moment. but the quiet would set back in, and i would go back to shitting on myself.

losing weight and getting down to the "correct" size was never going to happen. i was never gonna be satisfied. bc at the end of the day, i still hated myself. i still deeply thought i was ugly. i could lose 100s of pounds and still think i wasn't good enough. not to mention, i wanted to be known for more than just my weight. i was a whole person, regardless of my size.

and i think matt kinda had a similar thing happen.

i think he always had an issue with himself, his face particularly. and while, yeah - plenty of ppl thought he was kinda funny - he wasn't conventionally attractive (in his own eyes and to others). so he felt like no one cared about him. so he figured, if i could just get hot, ppl will care about me and my comedy.

but the exact opposite happened. he changed up his face, got it to match the portrait in his mind of what he "deserved" to look like, but he never worked on himself internally. he never fixed the broken parts of himself. so when suddenly, all of these women are giving him attention - it almost proved the little voice in the back of his head "see, all they did care about was my looks. i got held back in life bc i was ugly". even tho reality is, that's not what happened. he felt like shit about himself, ppl don't naturally gravitate towards unconfident ppl. if you don't like yourself, a lot of ppl will take advantage of that. that's just life.

and not only was that little voice proven "right", all anyone could talk about anymore was his looks (tho he also played a huge role in that). when all he wanted was to be known for was his comedy. but he thought the reason he wasn't succeeding was bc of his looks.

when in actuality, he just... wasn't funny. or really, wasn't as funny as he thought he was.

this all being said, if he actually worked on himself internally, he wouldn't have gotten himself into this mess. do i think he's funny? eh, i guess. but like any man, him make "women kitchen = funny" jokes really puts a damper on the a, being funny aspect he takes pride in and b, being attractive. i feel like a lot of men don't realize how quickly they self sabotage their own happiness by HATING ON THE GENDER THEY ARE ATTRACTED TO.

and sam following him... honestly, i wouldn't be surprised if he only follows him bc matt is friends with elton and they're all on somewhat decent terms again.

quick note to matt: hating on astrology is really dumb, coming from the dude that has gone ghost hunting and believes. babe, you might think i'm weird bc i believe in planets and their alignment meaning something, but you're scared of something that isn't even tangible.... at least i know the planets actually fucking exist.

(i also believe in ghosts, but at least i don't pretend to be on a high horse about it)

also talking about a partner's nether regions and saying how they are unattractive to you IS CRAZY when i know dicks 9 times out of 10 literally look like shriveled up limp mini hot dogs.......... you have a lot of room to be talking, my guy.

[ge]

There's something I'm conflicted about about Tang Bo, because I learned about him through fanarts, but the ones I saw at the time were ones where he looked so feminine that I actually thought he was a woman, and I was happy about it because I like badass ladies (the two we have are nice, but it hits differently when the character is more like an equal).

And though I love Tang Bo as he is, I'm kind of disappointed that we didn't get more female characters, which led me to start writing my own fic out of spite with a female Tang Bo and try to explore the implications of him being a woman while being... Well, a dark saint.

But since changing Tang Bo's sex is a controversial take, and my intention is to explore the character of being a woman in the Tang family and the restrictions that came with it, so I tried to write them out of a hetero normative dynamic. 

Now I have this mix of an asexual but demiromantic-in-denial Chung Myung and an androgynous/lady Oscar-like Tang Bo (usually passing as a man) who sees marriage as something entirely political but loves Chung Myung so deeply while they're trying to figure out what weird thing they have between them during the end of the war against the demonic cult. Mostly doing some character study and world-building.

But I'm dealing with a massive writer's block, and I felt like asking if it's a concept worth exploring or maybe moving to a different type of story and scrapping the female Tang Bo concept.

Ugh, perhaps I should try to write the one shot with the aphrodisiac plot. Or if you have some plot ideas, I would write them. I just want to write, but I'm losing motivation because I'm unable to make any real progress.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you with this, but you're like the TangChung main account, so I thought I could have some insight about this ship that's been consuming my mind and care.

hmm its an interesting concept i suppose and i understand the want for more interesting and equal in terms of power/strength female characters but i wont lie when i say im probably not the best person to ask about this concept specifically since im biased and dont like genderbending a gay couple to make them straight, no matter how subversive you are with the tropes u use in their now cis hetero relationship.. if ur really interested in pursuing writing this idea and want my opinion on it, i dont have anything else to say about it unfortunately

as for any other fic topic, the aphrodisiac idea was funny and would make for a humourous fic id definitely read..! i am unfortunately sacked out on any other fic ideas LOL i put my cards all in w tang bo returns/lives aus and i cant really think of anything else that might be rattling around in my head atm hmmm..

tang bo lives/returns aus are pretty versatile so im sure something new and unique could be pulled from there & theres also a huge lack of chung mun & chung jin return aus which could be soooo interesting id love to read a fic where chung myung gets his brother(s) back, im also really into those fics where the disciples go back in time to a hundred years previous and meet geomjon chung myung and they become his disciples in that era.. maybe a gen fic of chung myung bonding w the kids or with tang gunak and the other alliance leaders.. etc etc

[kidge-planet]

quick kidge headcanon

I saw a lot of people headcanonning ( idk if I can say it like that but whateverrrrr) pidge and keith having feelings since the beginning of the show... I really like to think that too but that's not what I headcanon. My headcanon is that pidge had feeling since a long time ( the first season...) while keith didn't. he relly liked her but nothing more, he was too focused on finding who he actually was and about the whole "Being a paladin" thing to actually pay her attention. (h=He would still care a lot about her but nothing more...) Plus , I think that Keith wasn't mature enough at the beginning of the show to concider his self with a girl as smart as Pidge, I even think I would prefer to be alone because he could think that she is a very complex person that loves complex things. too complex for him. ( I know, they seem to work well together all along but I feel like keith would be so focused on his self that he wouldn't notice.)

pidge understood that Keith wasn't paying her attention so she would give up on him, assuming that he thinks she is a nerd and a weirdo ( because that's something everyone always told her all her life). She decided to focus on finding her father and brother back...

THEN, Keith left for the BOM and that's when he realised: he now knew who he was and wasn't a paladin anymore. and he will surprise his self missing her a lot. When he stayed in the Quantom abyss with Krolia, that gave him a LOT of time to think about it and to realise how special, cute and amazing she was ( I could have went longer with all the good reasons to fall in love with her but im trying to make it short here lol) . Pidge was never scared and always full of determination. he figured that he cared deeply about her, more than he thought. She was the only one that he actually understood and the fancy science words she used were artificial, they have more in common then he thought, after all...

during Keith's time in the Quantom abyss, Pidge gave up on him. She thought he would never care about her and so she stopped thinnking about it because she didn't wanted to be hurt. she still missed him, but she had to stay focused, she was a paladin.

BUT! When Keith came back With ROMELLEEEEEEEEE, she felt a little confused ( I noticed how distant Pidge was with Romelle.)

The reunion between them was quick (as you know) but even if they had the time to find each other back and to talk, or Pidge would've huged him, or both would've been like "ha, good to see you." because they felt too awkward ( about their feelings or about the fact that they don't know if the other would like contact... I feel like pidge would think that Keith doesn't feel confortable with physical touch and I feel like Keith would be scared that she finds him weird.)

Now, there we go with season 7:

they travel into space blablabla...

You can see that Keith snaps at everyone except pidge, when he has hallucinations, she is the one that jumped on his arm to calm him down and it actually worked (bfhiagruhzvbihggbhffgbyizgri, just the fact that she is holding on his arm to calm him is killing me, help)

In that same episode you can see how sweet he is when he talks to her. You can see more tha, that in that episode and in the begenning of season 7 but im going straight to the point here....................

Then they got back to earth they went in a mission together and I think you saw the episode so I don't really have to do a recap of it. basicallly, you can imagine how their relationn grew and here is my Head canon( Yeah, I talk a lot):

As you know, after defeating Sendak, the paladins had free time . I headcanon Pidge and Keith spending a lot of time together on earth without the other paladins ( just chilling in her room and stuffs) . They flirt a lot without even noticing. When they go back in the Atlas, you can see that they got very close to each other. Eating together, or always being next to each other in whatever situation their in.

I like to think that they're secretly dating during season 8, since episode 1. The night Allura and Lance had they're date, Keith had no one to spend his last night on earth with. It didn't bother him, of course because he likes to be alone. But when he heard that pidge wasn't doing anything special for her last day on earth ( because her family is coming in the Atlas and Sam had to work for the it untile late that night.) He immediately asked her to hang out which he immediately accepted. So they spent their last night on earth together and, eventually started dating that same day ( spicy last night on earth if you wanted to know...)

Now, we all know that the both are introverts and so, they kept their relation for them until the end of the mission on the Atlas. ( So yes, after Allura's death, unfortunatly.)

ACTUALLY, I have too many kidge headcanons. I also like to think the they got closer in the Atlas and that they started dating after the mission.

GOIIOJUIGUHVUGFR6DYFDYFEDRFUGVUGGDRDGBUGUTUFYTC.

[asimplearchivist]

list 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox of the last 10 people who reblogged from you!! get to know your mutuals and followers :D

Watching animals. Kitties and birds and deer and froggies. They bring so much joy and it gives me a moment to get out of my head. There is a family of crows on my uni campus and I see them from time to time, mostly in the mornings, and they bring me so much delight; I want to find some unsalted peanuts to keep in my bag.

Listening to music. I've been trying to listen through some of my favorite artists' discographies lately, but my concentration falters sometimes so I've only listened to about half of Lana del Rey's and TBoJRRJ so far. I also have a huge long list of playlists on Spotify that I need to go through, but I have to be in a specific mood to do so. But there's nothing quite like cranking up the volume in my car and rolling the windows down to sing as loud as I can.

(Trying to) write. It may not seem like it based on my blog activity, but I am constantly thinking about writing. Most of it is mentally outlining, and I'm trying to get better about actually jotting everything down so I don't fall into slumps like I tend to do, but please don't think I've forgotten about my WIPs. I apologize for falling behind on my update schedule, but I've been scatterbrained, admittedly. If you're ever looking for something to enjoy in the meantime, I provide links to my Spotify playlists and Pinterest boards for your enjoyment as well as my inspiration. :)

My blorbos. Probably self-explanatory given the contents of my blog, but I really do have such a fondness for all of my favorite characters. They give me such comfort when I tend to be a contradictory self-isolating yet lonely person. It's been over a year since my last breakup, and being able to immerse myself into my fics and daydreams to find solace there has helped immensely. (Shoutout to Steven Grant and all the unpublished words I wrote about the MK System in general to vent about it all. Some of it may end up posted eventually, but I worry that it might be too specific for the purposes of my reader-insert fics. Idk, we'll see.)

Dragon Age. This is somewhat circumstantial since Veilguard has been popping up for release this fall, but honestly it's one of my favorite medias of all time. I've had fondness for it since Inquisition came out, and it's truly so very special to me. All the characters are so great, the worldbuilding is so expansive and intriguing, and I am soooooo excited to see what's going to happen next! I feel sorry for the people that have shat on it so far, bc while some concern about the final product is completely understandable for a series for which one cares so deeply, some people take their hate way too far for what ultimately is, at the end of the day, a fictional world. I apologize in advance, as I may have mentioned recently, for the person I will become once the game is dropped. Either you won't hear from me for weeks or I will be yapping in spoiler-free lore lol