#this is about freedom from judgement!! if you can dress weird and it makes you happy you should do it!!

[fox-guardian]

hi!! this post was about how random strangers most likely won't actually gender A Lot of trans people correctly no matter what they wear, and that you shouldn't dress for other people's approval/validation, especially strangers.

most trans people, especially pre/no medical transition, will not pass to most people no matter what they wear. so they may as well have fun with it.

"maybe if i dress more boring i'll get gendered correctly by strangers" that's the devil talking

[sh1-n0bu]

𝔫𝔬𝔟𝔲’𝔰 𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔨𝔱𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯 𝔬𝔣 2023!

day 25: praise kink with rosaria from genshin impact

warnings: praise, fingering, clit pinching, eating out, slight exhibitionism, fluff at the end

notes: rosaria is so pretty. i dun know if i want to be her or want to be with her

being dragged off to the side to have a quickie should be considered a sacrilege especially when it's inside the church of mondstadt. the very same place where thousands of thousands come to pay their respect and reverie to the anemo archon barbatos. more so, when the one who is being dragged off into a dark, empty room inside the church is one of the sisters. but rosaria was never one to worship the gods nor was she one to be considered holy with how much she loves alcohol and sneaks off to smoke behind the church.

and neither were you.

factually speaking you are one of grandmaster varka's most trusted knight. the perfect example of a strong, steady and unwavering knight who stays devoted to their knighthood to do good and to protect mondstadt. yet there were a few problems. you didn't worship the anemo archon despite swearing your loyalty and life to mondstadt. when asked why you never once worshipped the god of freedom you would simply shrug with a carefree grin.

"i like being free. pretty sure barbatos would support my decision. besides it was the people and the nation i swore my loyalty to, not the god" you would always carelessly say out loud, uncaring of anyone's judgements. why would you be when a certain, green bard would knowingly flash you a cheeky grin before turning away from you?

and why would it matter when you would find something way better than worshipping an absentee archon as you excitedly drag a certain sleep deprived sister to a dark room inside the church, making sure to lock the door behind yourself as you silence her annoyed grumbles with a kiss?

rosaria always acts like this. like she is uninterested when she very much clearly is. an eyeroll here and there, a scoff, a demeaning comment aimed at you, ready to tear down that carefree grin from your face whenever you come bearing flowers or just yourself. just yourself and your expert fingers and tongue flicking her open.

"you really don't know when to give up, do you little knight?" the cryo wielder huffs softly, propping herself on the table inside the dark room. what room it was, she couldn't give two shits about. little knight, that's what she always refers to you as. a way of demeaning you at the beginning that slowly over time turned into... a weird form of endearment.

"what can i say, rosa? you're just so undeniably beautiful. i would rather worship you rather than that god" you giggle out, hooking your fingers on the high waistband of her fishnets. with an approving nod from her, you ease the thin fabrics off of her legs, throwing it to the side before her panties followed.

"wearing this one? you could have just called me if you really were starting to miss me, rosa" you hum softly, the black soft fabrics in your hand familiar. she always loved to wear this one for some reason whenever you two would agree to meet up for a quickie or a night to blow off some stress. in response, rosaria only whacks the top of your head gently as a warning. one that you clearly overreacted to as the woman on the table silently thanks the room for being so dark inside so you won't see the slight flush of her cheeks.

"you sure talk a lot, little knight. put that mouth to a good use for once?" you only nod with an eagerness, rolling your eyes at her huffy attitude. not that you minded it. you actually loved this enigmatic sister of the church just the way she was.

gently pushing her legs apart, tucking the slit of her dress to the side, you mumble a "thank you for the food" before diving in. the familiar scent of her arousal, the slight wetness forming already and the familiar feeling of her metal clawed hand tugging on your hair bringing an odd sense of tenderness and grounding. nestling your nose until it was bumping against her clit, you test the waters.

a long stripe up her drenched folds got rosaria to tug on your hair with a muffled moan. she was oddly sensitive today. not that you minded as you continue to eat her out, switching between dipping your tongue inside her warm walls and suckling on her clit. each time you pull your tongue out of her clenching plushy insides, you would mutter a breathless praise. of how you adore her, how beautiful she was, how capable, how strong and just how goddamn happy you would be if you were to be crushed between her strong thighs.

each breathless words of praise and adoration caused rosaria to clench down on your tongue more and more. her voice becoming more and more breathless as concealing her moans and grunts of your name becomes harder. she was close.

as if knowing that she exactly needed a little bit more push to teeter over that blissful edge and to release that tightening knot in her stomach, you slip two fingers inside. to which rosaria immediately clenched around, a punched out gasp of what seems to be your name falling out of her lips. soon, she was saying your name over and over like a prayer, even though you were the one kneeling on the floor in front of her. just a few soft of your finger against that one soft spot inside her tight walls and a harsh suck to her clit and the cold woman was coming on your mouth with a soft whimper.

each drop you slurped up with an eagerness for another round, the noises sounding incredibly lewd that it caused rosaria to whine out your name. or maybe that was the slight oversensitivity kicking in. you were still sucking on her sensitive nub as you lazily pumped your finger inside her addictive plushy insides. with a soft peck to her clit, you finally pull your fingers out, noticing only now that her thighs had slight tremor to them.

"you alright? was it too much?" you ask in concern, helping her slide her panties and fishnets back on. all you got in return was a nod, the usually cold sister unable to find words to say that she was okay due to the slight sensitivity of her cunt. with a soft kiss to her fishnet covered knees and thighs, you help her up into her feet.

after checking the hallways for anyone being around, you two walk out after confirming no one was around like nothing happened inside that room. holding hands and laughing and joking about bunch of random things as if you didn't fuck rosaria to the point she couldn't even talk properly.

"so, will you be free on saturday? how does going out for a nice dinner sound, sister rosaria?" you joke, squeezing her hand in your own softly. but imagine how low your jaw dropped when the usually reclusive sister of the church agrees.

"what's up with that look on your face, little knight? i was actually going to ask you out but you beat me to it" the cryo user simply laughs at your shocked face, squeezing your hand back. never would you have expected her to actually agree. but damn, you definitely have a date to plan and to impress this approaching saturday.

[maxwellohwell]

Just a lil ramble vent

No one warns you about how brutal the transition from sheltered teenager to functioning adult is. All I've ever wanted was freedom, I love it. I was born an observer, its just in my nature. I love existing with the environment around me. I love walking in the rain, watching houses and cars and trees and boats and signs out from the window of a bus or a train, my favourite colours are pink or sunshine yellow but I always cave for a spooky grey/blue/purple colour scheme, my favourite food has always been spaghetti bolognese or pancakes, and the only times I remember that I am not a disembodied voice is when I look at myself in the mirror and dont identify with the body that I am in because I see myself as more of a concept then a human being. I've always been the secondary character in the stories of the people around me who always had something going on. In those stories I was the love interest who was too busy staring out the window to notice anything around them, I was the creepy mean "goth" that was added into the series to say weird stuff for laughs and to spite the protagonists, I was the best friend with bad advice, I was the child who was never allowed to grow up bc that meant her mother was growing old. Freedom feels like the morning sun beaming onto your face through fluffy white clouds or a day full of peaceful rain, and for me the only time I feel the warm rays of hope and tranquility is when chasing it hasn't been beaten out of me with the worried words of my overly paranoid mother or the judgemental looks of the people who can read the script.

So over the past weeks I've been moving out. I turned 18 half a year ago and my life has been slowly sinking like a ship for a while now. My mother is getting evicted and so I finally get to jump ship. Not exactly the "running away to the sunny city without telling anybody, going to the gym dressed as barbie while drinking a strawberry mango smoothie and getting money for writing emails in an office cubical" escape plan, but falling in love (i think, I dont entirely know if I even know what romantic attraction feels like) despite the fact that I live for being entirely alone and moving in with him works ig. But I've found myself in this weird tug-a-war while Im stuck between the two places, where I feel the beginnings of the freedom I've been wanting while Im away but then I need to go back to roleplaying an 8 yr old to survive. My mental health decreases while Im in that environment where I cant make my own choices, but I re-enter the adult world every few days and I feel paralyzed by the fear that Im going to break an unspoken rule and get yelled at for existing without supervision. Becoming an adult is very much just learning that its okay to exist and then teaching urself all the stuff you know that you dont know that you should know but you weren't taught bc growing up is illegal.

My entire life so far has been me waiting for this moment and I feel like Im wasting it by having these cognitive behavioural issues even though developing those wasn't at all my fault. One of my most vivid memories from highschool was walking with the vice principal while I was on my way to class. We happened to be going in the same direction and she started talking about how much she missed being young and free and how I should "treasure my teenage years while I still have them", and I remember that so clearly because of how little sense it made to me. My teenage years had no walks in the rain because "what if your kidnapped", my teenage years had no car rides because we were poor, my teenage years had no train rides because I had no where to go, my teenage years had no pink because I had to be the scary mean "goth" girl because no one messes with you if ur scary enough, my teenage years had no pancakes or spaghetti because I wasnt allowed to use the stovetop. How am I supposed to appreciate that? As an adult, you are in control. You shouldn't take your eyes off the road while you're driving. In my adult life I am happy. Everyday I wake up at 6am-8am, make my bed and watch youtube while I eat my pancakes, brush my teeth, go walk on the beach if I feel up to it, then I either go to the job that I love bc I chose it or play video games, do some chores, then I watch youtube with my boyfriend until I fall asleep. I do not want to leave that.

[porter-pumpkim]

my relationship to aesthetics

ngl I'm randomly thinking of the mix of astgetics I like and my relationship with them, cause like, they don't controll my life, but I do like taking aspects from them,

Like gremlincore, to me it is separate from cottage core, it's dirty and chaotic, yet also whimsical, you're a feral creature making due with what you have and taking what you need, hoarding what you can get your hands on, there's an odd sense of belonging amongst the things that people consider undesirable, there is no "ugly" nobody cares if you're pretty or fancy, you're free to exist as you, weather you have scars, weird teeth, visual oddities, it doesn't matter, you can dress how you want, it doesn't matter if you messed up trying to sew a cloak or shirt and now it looks a bit messy, messy is ok! you're just as much of a creature as everybody else here.

Steampunk/clockpunk/gaslamp fantasy is like, I don't go all in but I love aspects of it, I'm not a fan of the "Victorian england glorification" side if things, but I love the side that represents alternate technological advancements! The colorful yet messy, sturdy clothing that can take a beating and survive, the hope of change. From a pretty young age my parents were big fans of steampunk bands, specifically abneypark, and I loved the idea of airship pirates, overthrowing unfair leaders, egknowladging the world is horrible yet still having the hope to bring change, yes this isn't how everybody sees steampunk but it is how I see it.

My relationship with the asthetics below are a bit weaker, but they are still things I enjoy and do draw things from.

Speaking of airship pirates, Piratecore! I've always had an obsession with pirates and wooden ships, even though I never learned how to swim and am terrified of open water- realistically piracy is not actually appealing, I mean, it's a mess of disease, bad conditions, and high death chances, but at the same time, that's oddly what draws me in, people in circumstances they can't controll and having to survive it, most sailors were literally kidnapped into it in that time or just had no other options, yet there's still a small chance that this mission might succeed, that you might get your share of the treasure, there's a theme of struggle yet perseverance, and if you get a good crew, there's a sense of companionship, outcasts coming together to finally have power, to finally succeed or die together trying.

To me the Halloween esthetic feels rebellious, living with an overly pushy Christian grandmother, being born so close to Christmas, and just grandma ruining most other holidays for me by making them about her, Halloween feels like the one holiday I DO get, I'm free to dress however I want without judgement, there's no "oh but JESUS" involved, I can actually interact with people for once, to me Halloween is a rebellious freedom thing.

Anyway, that's me rambling about my relationship with asthetics and how I see them! I know every asthetic does have something bad hidden somewhere in there, but there are also good aspects! It more depends on how you use it I think,

[youbetterhavemymoney]

Random astrology Observation (✿ ♡‿♡)

💌 This is not my Observation but I read it and I found it very interesting on how anything Conjunctions to the Sun in natal chart, It will like gives you the protection of the planets It conjuncting. like example : Sun Conjunct venue so it will gives a protection over the Qualities that venue hold like beauty love etc...

🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵🌵

💌 Lilith in Aries Love freedom and they Also very demand to have it too, They're calm, cool and collected on the outside and only really release Their inner self through sex-with the right partner.

🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃

💌 Almost every Gemini I have known has hooked up with a Scorpio or a Capricorn. If they didn't marry them, they hooked up with them......... and the relationship always ended up with a Disappointing with each other. I kinda noticed that They're would be so good possibly a soul mate in the beginning of the relationship .

🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿🌿

💌 8th house Lilith People are extremely private person and they seem to attract people that want to get under their skin, making them even more private. They also don't like to open much about themselves especially private life area and thus they like bury themselves with work .

🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱

💌 To be honest I am a big fan of the last three outcast members of the planets, Pluto, Uranus and Neptune .... they're kinda Similar to each other yet so different ....

Pluto can be similar to Uranus when it comes to being "unique", Pluto is more strikingly bizarre in a darker and more in dramatic way.

people who have Scorpio placements with a strong Neptune, Theirs aesthetics are insanely pretty unique.

🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳

💌 Lilith in the 5th Not really a marriage type of person, they don't want kids, Also Romance thing kinda not Their things too.

💌 Pisces Lilith love art, music, videogames, music and anything linked to the creative arts and imagination/other worldly stuff.

🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴

💌 People with a heavy Pluto placements, they are very much feel very "different" and "unique" in a sense that they are so weird it's hard to find others who understand theirs very uniqueness.

Pluto shocking energy can be pushed away!!!! Pluto has a hard time conforming, so it's not easily accepted by groups. the controlling intensity of Pluto is emphasized so much, we forget to mention how wickedly freakish Pluto can be when it expresses itself aesthetically.

their overall expression is unique and quit brilliant at times. finding themselves to be alone due to how strange they connect with others or what they pick up socially.

🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲🌲

💌 I read that if you have a stelluim in your chart, you will have a profound influence on other people .

💌 Aquarius will love you if you take time to listen and understand them without any judgemental. Please be patient with them if you actually care to understand them.

🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾🌾

💌 Aquarius humor is just plain raw .....I means Aquarius might be not everyone cups of tea but I bet they really care about being everyone cup of tea anyway.

💌 Gemini humor is funny when it unintentional ... I bet they're probably wondering that themselves too.

💌 Libra humor is just based on what they experience on daily life ....you know they're going say some shit funny just because they heard it somewhere from someone or like from the internet ...meme related maybe.

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

💌 This is Abit of ~ Astrology Theory ~ if you want to look or be more attractive, just dress or behave like the sign on your ascendant.

💌 And if you wanna look attractive to someone, just dress or act like the signs on their Descendant . That will get the initial attraction because you look like what they're looking for (◍•ᴗ•◍)✧*。.

Thank you for your time reading this (◕ᴗ◕✿) .

[cure-icy-writes]

I’m jumping off of the Dress Up Darling post, and I think the wish fulfillment (at least in my eyes) us a two fold thing. That it can be read as the freedom to express your sexuality without drawing awkward attention to yourself or being degraded for it (I know some high school teachers of mine that would have flipped at Marin and how dresses+acts because of the belief she’s presenting temptation for guys to fall into), but also freedom of expressing interests in general, even if people would view the interest as something weird to have. It’s not just the popular girl liking anime, but enjoying it so much she wants to express her love via dressing as characters she loves. You’re the cosplay expert out of the two of us, so correct me if I’m wrong, but from what I’ve seen, cosplay still tends to get judged from an outside perspective because it gets viewed as weird. Because Marin and Wakana’s relationship is initially formed on the basis of cosplay, she doesn’t have to without her interests from him, and thus they can grow closer with one another. There really isn’t a fear of judgement, or at least a strong one. Marin can freely express herself, both in terms of her sexuality and interests

This is based off of my own experiences (school uniform standards can be whack) as well as my own journey with my sexuality and my physical presentation (which tends to lean more into body image issues than sexuality), but I thought I’d throw in my two cents

god i had such a hard time getting into cosplay initially because of the stigma. men are so so creepy and weird about it, and then there's this niche circle of male nerd hatred directed towards women not only being a part of 'their' fandom spaces, but having a voice and expressing their sexuality. I really just wanted some way to motivate myself to sew new things, and since I didn't have much fashion sense of my own at the time, I leaned towards cosplay as a potential way to do this. I was self conscious about the entire process, and school didn't make it any better. Sure, I got some small amount of admiration for my sewing skills, but I dreaded to actually explain what I was making.

And honestly, the fact that Marin wanted to cosplay a love interest in an 18+ game? Despite having very little sewing knowledge? Oh, she'd get ripped to shreds and passed around 4chan for SURE. But she's just... really passionate. About the character arc of a 'tumblr problematic,' sexy female character. And a lot of people can't understand why, can't see past the idea of sexiness as inherently objectifying and/or tempting. They can't comprehend female sexuality outside of the heterosexual male gaze looking down in disdain.

idk, you see a lot of sexy cosplays out there. And it's hard to tell how much of that is genuine self-expression and how much is motivated by the crummy world we live in. But those get a lot more attention, positive and negative, to the point where it feels out of proportion. There's this assumption that if you're into cosplay, you just put on your wig and pushup bra and instagram filters and that's all there is to it. But that's not it. There's so much work that goes into it, that goes largely ignored, and people still want to see it as an object, content to consume, rather than real people who learn.

I tried so many new things that i wouldn't have had a chance for otherwise. Explored aspects of myself, of stories. Heh, I even learned to walk in heels for cosplay-- bad idea, doing that the week before the con. Would not recommend, at all. I researched the inspirations behind each character when choosing materials and construction, I recreated concept art, and I got more comfortable with my body the way it was.

I try not to get too deep into the mainstream cosplay culture-- the idea of canon compliance as the pinnacle to be aspired to, and all the recycled beauty standards. Because at the end of the day, it's a personal journey of self discovery, yknow?

Marin and Wakana are a really interesting pair of characters, I think, because of how much they play with the idea of beautiful girl/ordinary guy. Marin has good looks and social standing, but she wants someone who will respect her for the messy, impatient, nerdy person she is, and she doesn't want to settle for anything less. Meanwhile Wakana is deeply focused and knowledgeable when it comes to clothing and dolls, but socially oblivious and deeply self-conscious about his interests despite wanting to make a career out of them. They are described as living in different worlds, but honestly? Despite being "the girl who has everything," Marin still feels isolated from her peers who don't get the intensity of her desires or her need to be understood.

Normally, they would have no reason at all to talk. But I hope this allows both of them to be confident and appreciated for their talents and desires.

[skirtedmanworld]

Confusion

I m so torn.

While i still have male parts and have hetrosexual relationships with my wife, i am torn.

I love wearing female clothes and go everywhere in skirts and hosiery and nobody seems to care. 

I want to take this further, to have the freedom to wear dresses, a wig, makeup, heels yet my wife isn't excited about this at all.  I don’t want to risk our relationship yet I feel i am being denied my revealing my true self. 

To have her full consent to be truly me, to express myself as only i can, to be free of any judgement by others; to dress as I desire is the epitome of freedom to me.

I truly don’t understand why guys can do drugs, drink to excess, drive ridiculously fast, engage in violence or abusing language, have tatts, ponytails, piercings and be immune from criticism yet we can't wear a dress or makeup. 

Why is it that lesbians are more accepted that gay guys; is a woman licking another woman’s pussy any less accpetable that a guy suckig off another guy, or having anal sex male to male worse than male to female? 

Why is a woman pegging a guy more acceptable than a guy fucking anther guys ass?

How is it a subservient female is acceptable whereas a guy dressing as a maid is deemed sissy?

How come a guy in a dress is weird whereas a woman in a suit and tie or with a short haircut is cool?

It makes no difference to my ability to do my job, it makes no difference to my feelings for others, respect, trust or acknowledgement. 

I so want to dress the way i wan, to wear lipstick, stockings and a garter belt; do my hair nicely, accentuate by stunning blue eyes with mascara and lipstick.

To wear a dress and heels and be ME. 

I am sure millions of men would agree with me, and i’m also sure an equal amount of women whose mothers bravely fought for the “right” to wear trousers/ pants would also agree. 

PLEASE comment and state if you are male or female. It’s time this clothing and gender bias stopped. 

[llycaons]

43. lan wangji love hours

I know 46 is generally considered one of the best cql episodes but I think 43 has it beat as my absolute favorite. it reminded me of everything I ever loved about the character of lwj and why the show is so great, at it’s heart. the past 40-odd hours put into this show yield incredibly emotionally rewarding returns and of lot of it is right here

this one had everything. tender romance. flashbacks to neglected parts of the plot. a full 20 minutes talking about lan wangji’s past and his feelings and his motivations and his choices. beautiful scenery. crucial character development and relationship progression. the word soulmate on viki subs. stunning cinematography. visiting the bunnies and talking to them like they’re people. and finishing off with the return of mianmian herself. literally perfect

I mean, I remember the first time I saw this episode and I was losing my mind. truly the episode that gave lwj our rights. delicious

so the beginning bit is boring plot-wise but it does break my heart to see lxc begin to seriously consider that the man he’s trusted for 20-odd years has been lying to him and everyone about who he truly is. the idea that lxc was used by jgy to murder his good friend. that his judgement was wrong and everyone else was right the whole time. and it’s actually wwx who has to hold lwj back from saying something rash, which is such a turnaround from their earlier dynamic

postres wwx really did chill out huh. there’s a lot of scenes where he’s just being very introspective and thoughtful and you can tell he’s matured a great deal. preres wwx was all action, unless he was drowning himself in alcohol as a desperate coping mechanism

ok so the jingshi (silent room) is where lwj lives and the hanshi (cold room) is where the clan leader lives, so lxc

the first half of the episode being dedicated lwj, his feelings and hidden thoughts, how much lxc loves him and how much he changed, makes me really happy

the treatment of madam lan, in-universe, weirds me out so much tbh. it’s like the big moral quandary was the lan father marrying a murderer without the support of his clan and abandoning all his responsibility (which IS an issue to them) and not the issue of him literally kidnapping a woman and forcing her(?) to marry him. like I’m sure there’s details that lxc himself doesn’t know (and probably doesn’t want to) but I kind of feel like the marriage to a murderer aspect is overshadowed by the imprisonment aspect. all we know is that she wasn’t allowed to leave, we never hear her thoughts or perspective

I do think it’s noteworthy that lxc admits he didn’t know lwj as well as he thought he did. the line about being seeming like fire from the front and ice from the sides is so good. so underrated

yet another nod in this episode towards wwx and lwj actually being very similar at heart

lwj postnightless looks like death. pale as anything and looking so hollow

the chills I got when jgy smilingly told lwj that his uncle is here to bring to back to cloud recesses...christ he’s creepy

“You are not qualified to speak to me” oh you tell him lwj. oh this scene is probably another reason lwj hates su she

and the whipping scene...okay it was actually a beating scene and I don’t think a stick would leave marks like he had, but anyway that scene was raw as hell. lwj’s voice (which is usually so calm and even!) is strained and raspy and the blood dripping out of his mouth like good god.

“What is just and what is evil? What is black and what is white?” quoted FROM wwx iirc like damn damn top ten cql flashback scenes

even though he’s being punished in the cold pond cave, lwj was allowed to dress in his fine robes and wear his headpiece. imprisoned, but imprisoned in a safe and quiet and clean place rich in spiritual energy. that’s better than any other prison we’ve seen on this show. he gets his position as a teacher when he reemerges, he basically gets his full freedom, he retakes his place as one of the most prominent members of the sect with all the wealth and power that go along with it. his position and privilege and reputation were not lost because of his rebellion. and part of that was the lan clan covering it up but part of his was his birth staus

I’ve seen fans bend over backward to vilify the lan clan for this punishment but I don’t have any interest in that. lwj did fight back against all those elders. like yeah, he was right, but the fact that he was punished for breaking the rules doesn’t strike me as evil. lwj doesn’t need to be saved from his elders or w/e. and I think he was proud to take that punishment

but when lxc tells wwx what lwj did for him, wwx’s immediate reaction is to say “he shouldn’t have”

the fact that he never blames lwj for how things went down even though he was obviously really hurt by not having lwj’s support is so intriguing to me

everything he learns about what lwj did for him seems to bring him closer to tears. instead of wwx falling in love after he ressurects, it’s more like wwx is slowly learning that someone he loved has loved him back the entire time, and what they’ve done to make up for their past mistakes

easy to miss this line about how lqr was so much stricter with the two of them as a direct cause of their father’s mistakes. lqr trying to keep lxc and lwj from tragedy and heartbreak in the best way he knew how. and holding little lxc’s hand *pleading face*

kneeling the snow waiting for someone who will never open the door again...jesus christ there were so many good lines in this episode

I really almost cried here

and lwj showing up hair down with the emperor’s smile...lord...

if lwj ever had a kid on his shoulders he definitely would need to take off his hairpiece. a lot of them have a lot of spikes and that’s not good to be in a baby’s face

oh hey on the left of the jingshi there is a cute little vine-wrapped bridge

next scene except is absolutely stunning gorgeous showstopping in every way tender domestic loving transformative etc.

lwj looking loose and slightly disheveled setting out tea and emperor’s smile and being so so careful and gentle and soft while wwx watches him from the doorway and is free to enter when he feels comfortable and leave when he wants space *pleading emoji*

going out into the snowfall to laugh bitterly and drink and reflect on his ruined reputation, returning to hear their song lwj is playing, struggling with the loss of his good name and the blame others place on him only to remember he has someone by his side worth more than any of the other cultivators combined...in this life, having one soulmate is enough...thank you and I’m sorry...GOD I feel like a wild animal

something about having a clear conscious, only being able to control your own actions and not the judgements of the rest of the world and making peace with that

and about how he’s hanging out on the outside until almost the very end of the scene and only goes in to the warmth and food and to be with lwj as the cameras fade away, kind of like their scene on that cliff in 50, huh. wwx taking the time he needs to process everything, feel what he feels, return to lwj when he’s ready to, knowing that lwj loves him

once I came across a very long and very sincere post that I didn’t feel like reading, about how the imagery and symbolism in this scene means they very clearly had sex this night (including zooming in to show us wwx is taking off his belt before going inside which I did not notice with my low-quality screen lmao) and while I definitely can see it as a hinted sort of fade to black I don’t think it would be in-character for them at that point

I don’t have any like, moral objections to reading the scene that way, but given what a mess the novel was I don’t really like the interpretation of them having sex before they talk about their feelings openly, especially with alcohol involved

no I think they have a nice quiet evening and talk a little more and then go to bed and both feel better about things

something that post above mentioned was how awkward they seemed the next morning with each other and how sleepy wwx was, which honestly means that intepretation might have been the show’s intent. idk. they did seem a little awkward

bunny time! the smile lwj gives those rabbits is bigger than plenty of smiles he’s given wwx and is so full of pure excitement and joy I’m surprised I never see it giffed

wwx making weird noises at the rabbits makes me so happy. after everything, he still likes messing around and having fun

why is the lan gate not guarded

I see this interpretation of lwj where he’s completely passive and does whatever wwx wants and it’s so boring and also just not true to character. he will literally just walk away if wwx is being annoying. he will do that. he also has a very dry sense of (usually unexpected) humor and a sharpness to his dialogue that I think people miss. he’s not a great people person or conversationalist but’s not dull

lwj asking wwx what he thinks the name of the song is could be a fun cliffside confession idea

when wwx was in someone else’s yard and he heard them coming WHY was his first instinct to hide? or better yet, why did lwj just go along with it? after I wrote that whole thing about him thinking for himself, too

mianmian’s daughter is so cute I’m going to burst into tears writing this. she’s SO SMALL and her voice is SO TINY

her husband isn’t bad-looking either :) good for mianmian. good for her!

[erizawayumako888]

It's been a while, how many years have passed? 5? 10? maybe even more? we both lay side by side on top of the hill, green fields and village by the mountain. The place we call home, or for me, used to be one.

We may not have been the closest of friends, but your company is quite enjoyable. Especially back then, when I was a child, young and free, naive and innocent. I would run around the village, play with other kids, other times hanging out with older friends like you. I've been looking up to you, we don't talk much, but you're an admirable figure, as a kid I thought about how cool you are, I talked a lot about you although I didn't have the guts to really tell you how I feel.

Kids would cringe at the idea of the idea of a girl and boy kissing or holding hands, including me. I kept on denying how I feel, I was so young I felt that it was disgusting although it felt good. As I grow up we grew further apart, just like every other kids growing out of their interests or old friends. I forgotten that you even existed for years.

All those years as I grew up, a lot of terrible things happened. I looked at you, assuming that you are smiling back at me underneath that mask. You were quite pleased to see an old friend, a little girl you used to spend time with, gone for quite a while and returned a grown up woman. You sat comfortably beside me, thinking that I'm still the same old bright young woman. How unfortunate, my friend. You couldn't have been more wrong...

I didn't grow up to be the lady society expects me to be, I run, jump and play like boys, I prefer dinosaurs and superheroes over dressing up and dolls. Other kids think I am weird, I got bullied and rejected. I learnes how to just keep things by myself, since I am a bother for others. But it didn't stop there, now that I am being quiet, the grown ups hated me just for speaking too little. I still listen to and reply to them, I just don't talk much to other kids or when not needed.

They tried to shackle and chain my freedom, telling me that just because I am a girl I am not allowed to do this or that. I am forced to wear complicated clothings, constantly how a woman's only goal in life is to bow down to her husband. I am sick of being tossed and controlled around up to 14 years of my life, only to be told that it is the right thing to carry on beibg tossed and controlled around by a man until the day I die.

This place I grew up in, what I once see as a peaceful village... I hate everyone in there. All of them, judgemental hypocrites, feeling that they're always right when they condemn people for being themselves. I'm sick of it, I can't take it any longer. My guardian angel held me tight, telling me that everythings going to be okay.

Hell no, I am no longer enduring that while faking a smile. I ran away from her, from the village, into the forest depth. And that's when I came face to face with the devil herself. And attractive woman with red, glistening hair. Her sharp glare accompanied with curled horbs decorating her head, standing proud with her bat-like wings stretched over and her devilish tail swaying around. She stood proud, loud and clear she declared ,"My child, I can help you avenge those who have wronged you!".

My guardian angel grabbed my arm whimpering ,"Don't listen to her" I looked back at her feeling bad... But you are my guardian angel, yet you don't protect me from the hell I have been through. But still, you are my friend, but what kind of friend sees you suffering and does nothing about it, only telling me to be patient and take it all?

I closed my eyes, under my eyelids it's pitch black as expected. However everything soon turns to be red, bright red, visions of flames of hell is getting clearer. But I felt very excited, not realizing I grinned wider as the estacy grew. I opened my eyes feeling euphoric, for the first time in a while my laugh echoes out of excitement. I can't tell where and what I am looking, I only know that I can't stop laughing, my arms have to keep moving slashing through the air, I feltike I'm hit something, at a glance I might have seen a terrified face but the adrenaline rush makes me ignorant of it. My vision grows blurry and redder, as the screams from hell grew louder and pierces my ears.

Finally I'm exhausted. My head feels very heavy, as if heavy weights are being attach to its left and right, I fell forward to the ground. That is when I realized I literaly have weights on my head... that demon lady's horns, they are on my head now. I could feel some wind, some moving attached to my back, those are her wings... and my hands, red.

I saw my guardian angel there, her once white gown is now stained in red. She is no longer movinh or breathing. I cried when I realized what happened. Slowly I carried her lifeless body on top of a hill far away from the village, under a huge, old tree surrounded by the flower beds we used to play at. It was where we would laugh and make flower crowns, where we would frolic and run with the animals. But now, this is her final resting place.

I kept replaying those memories as I walked with my old friend. He didn't say a word and follwed behind me, until I stopped in front of the nameless tombstone. I picked up a few flowers and poured them on top of it, before I fall on my knees. Had hadn't a clue of what happened that day, in attempt of consoling me he held my shoulder ,"Friend of yours?" I didn't say a word.

After my first murder, I finally realizes that I no longer have a guardian angel, instead I have a demon by my side. She promised me that shw would be much more helpful, and she seems to be telling the truth. With my new found power I walked back to the village in the middle of the night, fpr one last time. I flew from home to home, looking for the faces of those who had wronged me to rip them off. A glint of satisfication when they all run and scream in fear before finally, they all drop dead in silence.

By the time the sun goes up, I looked into a mirror, seeing myself as a beat decorated in red. The light shines on the blood covering me, it was an amazing kind of feeling I never had before. I flew away far into the darkest depths of forest, looking for a new place to live.

I travlled the lands into other villages and towns, there are times I do try to make friends and hide my past, I may not be hated anymore but I always fear how if I would. So I keep myself away from others, no one can be trusted, except for myself and the demon inside of me.

It is quite frustrating as a loner when I had feelings for a man, yet I remember how I was treated, by their kind especially. I don't want to let my feelings of attachment to bribg down my ego. I am not the one who will submit, I will be the one to dominate them.

And thus my journey began, I trained to grow stronger. When I see a man I found to my liking I would take them away and trest them like a toy. I will toss and turn them aroubd to my heart's content, although I do love and care for them it is a pleasureable way to avenge those men who wronged me. You say that girls can't be strong? You say that girls have to obey their husbands with a leash around her neck? Then this time my love, you are the one with the leash around your neck.

Two, three pets were not enough. I always needed more, and I have lost counted after all these years. Perhaps 30 or 40, and it won't stop anytime soon. At times I cry for nights knowijg how much I hurt my loved obes, but the voices of my relatives, telling me to kneel down and be a 'good girl', especoally my grandma...

She was not a nice old lady who makes cookies for you, she would always tell me it is wrong to be myself, she would always say that my nice face and body is jist a great asset to find me a good man. I am sick of it, and even after I've left my family behind their taunting voicr still taunts me. Aslong as the voices goes on, my torturous games will cobtinue. I do hesitate and feel guilty, but at the same time I enjoy it when I watch my boys cry in the dungeon after what I do to them.

I finally fibished plucking the weeds around the graveyard, I stared at the weed I grasp in my hands thinking... Maybe I should stop afterall, I cannot forever keep on hurting people especially those who I cared about. But just as I smiled in relief her voice echoes again ,"My dear, why don't you have a man yet? Relax, and kneel down. Be. A. Good. Girl."

I stood up yelling and tossed the weed aside, I screamed loudly towards the sky as my old friebd backed off. Both of my fists tightens as I stared into the horizon, I clenched my teeth and tears began flowing down my face.

My old friend slowly walked towards me ,"Is everything alright?" He asked. I turned my head slowly, now face to face to the so familiar face. But I noticed a difference, slowly my vision turns red. Not just his masked face, but the sky and grass, everything turns red. I began to smirk and laugh as tears continue to rush like waterfall ,"I'm sorry my love, she is coming back."

I laughed harder than ever as the demon's horns sprout out of my scalp, bat like wings spread on my back blocking the sun and drops a shadow covering my old friend. He stared at me as he drew his sword, I can tell that he hesitates just like I do. But I can't stop now, I need him in my collection, as long as that old witches words burns in my ears I need new toys to take my anger and grudge on.

I laughed harder and harder as I clawed my way through, my claws clashing against his sword under the setting sun. His skill impressive as ever, in a blink of an eye as I tried to hold back my demond I could feel my head lighter, and I notuced both of my horns were severed laying on the ground. Well played, my dear. This gets more interesting.

I growled and shoots lightning from my finger, I am not trying to attack him however I just want to play around for now. He leaps aroubd dodging my attacks, at times deflecting them with his sword which celarly backfires me, I took my own hit but I am not done yet.

Now, a huge orb forms in my palms, I run to him swinging it to his direction. He was ready to slocr the orb but just at the moment my other claw slaps his sword away. Checkmate. You are unarmed now. I growled like a beast as I grabbed him by force, he was fighting back kicking and punchibg but I am not backing down, not especially when I am a demon at least 10 times his size for now.

I grasped him in my claws and flew away from the spot. Finally another collection, another victim for my grudge and hatred, mixed with my love and obsession. I do love you dear, but your kind has to pay what they have done to me. The fun has just started, pet.

[soyeahitsmiddleearth]

Dimension Jumping pt. 1

The Fellowship of the Ring x Reader

But a lot of the stories are about the reader falling into Middle Earth…. what about the other way around? If you wanted to do all the characters, you could do a point after they left Rivendell, before they split up?

Like for example, after Gandalf ‘dies’, and it could be something sweet and cute or whatnot where the reader helps them grieve a bit, give them a bit of a rest before continuing on their journey?

—

Weekends have always been your favorite time of the week. 

No responsibilities, sleeping in, more time, freedom, the list goes on and on. 

Your weekends are usually spent idly doing things you enjoy, like sleeping, and lot’s of stress free activities. 

Not this weekend though, for when you got home after a grocery run, you were met with quite the surprise. 

A total of 8… people? lay strewn about in your living room seemingly unconscious. They are dressed in odd clothes, holding medieval looking weapons, and they look rather raggedy and dirty. Four of them are extremely small, and if it weren’t for their older looking faces, you would’ve thought them to be children. There’s also a handsome blond with pointy ears, a short red headed, bearded… man, and two semi-regular looking tall dudes.

Your groceries fall from your arms and land on your carpeted floor, but you barely pay that any mind since you can’t seem to tear your eyes away from the pile of people in the middle of your damn living room.

Your floofy white dog Penny is sniffing around them, but she doesn’t seem to be alarmed nor agitated by their presence, so that’s good at least. She’s an excellent judge of character after all. Eventually she settles down next to the tall guy with dark brown hair, and though you don’t like that she’s next to these strangers, you allow it.

The sound of your things falling to the ground seems to rouse them, and you watch as the man wearing dark clothing with dark hair opens his eyes and groans quietly. At first his eyes scan around the room, then they fall upon you. 

He sits up slowly, still eyeing you as he glances down at his small child-looking friends. A look of relief passes his expression before he looks at you once more, saying nothing while the rest of his merry band of crazies begin to sit up.

This is supposed to be your fucking day off, and this shit happens? A bunch of renaissance weirdos laying in your house, making your clean carpet dirty. 

“You know what, no.” You state loudly, successfully startling the dark haired man, “This is my weekend off, and I am not dealing with this. Whatever this is." 

You turn on your heel and begin picking up your groceries, though you remain vigilant incase one of them intends to try something. 

Once you’ve gathered all your discarded things you stand again and look behind you, seeing that most of them are on their feet and looking at you and your home as if you’re some alien in a structure unknown to them. You quickly look forward again and go to your kitchen, placing everything on your counters while you try to decide how the hell you’re going to deal with this. 

You look over your counter at the still staring people and ask slowly, "Does… anyone want a snack?”

Two of the small blonde men perk up when you say ‘snack’, so you take that as a yes and begin preparing apples, celery, and peanut butter for everyone to eat. 

By the time you’re done cutting up the apples you’ve only got two left, but you just sigh and bring out a tray with the snack and place it on the coffee table. 

The two blond… boys? run over to it immediately, but are halted by a sharp “No.” from the brown-haired guy. 

Said brown-haired guy is looking at you distrustfully, and you feel your blood begin to boil with his distrust (even though HE is in YOU home). 

“Okay dude, I get you don’t know me or whatever but you guys literally broke into my house, so if anyone is supposed to be cautious here it’s me. M. E. Me. I’m offering your… children…? Adult babies? Boys? Food, and damnit if they want it then they’re gonna eat it.” Your little outburst gets you several shocked looks, but you’re so FUCKING tired, you’ve just got no energy to deal with this. 

“We 'broke into your house’?” He repeats slowly, “I have no recollection of our relocation to your… house, and I’ve never seen someone of your caliber, nor a place so… odd, before. So forgive me if I am skeptical of our suspiciously willing host.” His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and it successfully ruffles your self control. 

“Now you listen here Mr. Broody, I’m not about to get sass in my own home. By god if Penny didn’t seem to love you so much I would vaporize you where you stand!” Big talk for such a small person, yes, but you stand by your statement. 

Only you don’t get the reaction you were expecting, because suddenly everyone looks horrified. 

“You can do that?” One of the small blond boys(?) gasps, scooting closer to his look-alike. 

The guy you were mouthing off to grabs the hilt of his -is that a fucking sword?!- weapon and steps in front of the small guys. The tall blond dude, other actual human, and short ginger haired man do the same, and suddenly you feel a lot less satisfied. 

“Woah there fellas, It’s a figure of speech!” You say quickly, raising your hands in a surrender motion. 

Penny senses your sudden distress, so she bounds over to you and presses her nose against your knee in a way meant to gather your attention. You glance down at her and visibly relax before looking back up at the still tense men in front of you. 

“Tough crowd…” You reach down slowly and pat Penny’s head, watching as their eyes follow your movements. “Okay, look. I’m not going to like, poison you or whatever you’re afraid of. How about we start with introductions, hm?" 

The same guy from before nods his head slowly (it seems he’s the leader here) and tells you a little hesitantly, "I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn. A Ranger, also known as Strider by most." 

What in the ever loving hell did he just say?

You can’t even stop the laughter from bellowing out of you, because this is just so god damn ridiculous and completely baffling. You grasp your stomach and double over with laughter while everyone else just watches silently and confusedly.

Eventually your laughter begins to subside when your sides start to hurt, so you stand up a bit straighter and wipe a tear from the corner of your eye, "Ahaha, ah… wow that’s good. But really though, I’m not looking for stage names bud, I’m being serious here.”

This 'Aragorn’ doesn’t seem to find it as funny as you do. “Stage names? No, I believe you are misunderstanding.”

The smile on your face drops and you suddenly don’t find it as funny either. “So… your name is actually Aragorn then?” Well, maybe not all of them have weird names, “Right, then what about the rest of you?" 

The other guy who looks like an actual human speaks up next, "I am Boromir, son of Denethor and Captain of Gondor.” Oh heck. 

Blondie comes up next, “I am Legolas from the woodland realm.”

Shortie #1, “Gimli Son of Gloin." 

The small dark haired man child comes forward, "I am Frodo Baggins, and these are my friends Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck." 

"What the-” you pause and cover Penny’s ears, “Fuck is all of this?" 

It seems your actions amuse the taller dudes because their stand-offish demeanors diminish as they seem to deem you harmless (I mean who covers their dogs ears when cursing? Clearly you’re pathetic).

"I’m afraid I don’t know what to tell you.” Mr. Aragorn states. 

“Well, start with where you come from, maybe?”

They all share a look before 'Legolas’ states, “We come from Middle Earth and have just traveled through the Mines of Moria." 

You literally don’t know what any of that means.

"Well, alright. Right now, I can tell you that you’re on Regular Earth and in my living room.” You don’t mean to be so sarcastic, but both the functional and rational parts of your brain are failing you big time, “Do you know how you got here?" 

You get 8 respective no’s, and while you expected that, it’s no less frustrating. "Shoulda seen that one coming, I guess." 

The Gimli character looks you up and down and asks in his gruff voice, "And what about you, you’ve not told us who you are." 

"Oh, right, my bad. I’m Y/N, and this cutie,” you reach down and pick up Penny’s front paws from the ground and wave them at the group, “Is Penny. She is the softest, sweetest, and cutest doggo you will ever have the pleasure of meeting. Disrespect her and there will be consequences." 

You stand back up and pat Penny’s head, watching as they all nod their understanding and appear rather nervous suddenly.

"That was also a joke.”

Most of them relax.

You tap your foot a few times and seem to think over your options, looking away from them and out the window. 

Clearly there is something very wrong going on here, so you can’t just throw them out, but at the same time you don’t have enough energy to deal with this today. And there’s the very real possibility that they could be psychos. But there’s also the fact that they seem to be a little worse for wear, some of them have puffy eyes, and is that blood?  Their disheveled and tired appearances tug at your heart strings, and you find yourself wanting to help them. 

“Okay, against my better judgement I have decided that I’m going to welcome the lot of you into my house until we can figure out what the hell is going on here.” This seems to surprise Aragorn and his two tall besties. “I don’t know why… but something is telling me that I should help you out, so I guess that’s what I’m going to do.”

Two of the small blond ones smile brightly, but you haven’t finished yet. 

“But!” Their smiles drop and everyone seems rather serious again, “If any of you try anything funny or start any trouble, I will kick all of you out. I don’t know any of you, and you all have weapons. So if I’m gonna let you stay then you’re going to have to behave.”

“Miss Y/N, you do not have to-” Aragorn begins, but you put up your hand and shake your head. 

“It’s fine. Just please don’t break anything, and if Penny wants head pats you had better give them to her." 

It seems your rules are fair enough, because you get 8 more head nods.

The two small people attack the snack you made finally, and you find that you can’t help but to laugh a bit. 

A thought then strikes you, "Oh!" 

Everything pauses and every looks at you again, more alert, but you just roll your eyes at how on edge they are.

"I was just going to say that I have two bathrooms is anyone wants to wash up.”

[ourbrokeninsanity]

Watchdog Man Relationship/Boyfriend Headcanons

I’ve noticed Watchdog Man doesn’t get a lot of attention in these things so I thought I’d give him some. I think he’d be a pretty great partner, so long as you don’t mind his quirks. We don’t know much about him so I’ll try to keep it pretty open.

Considering Watchdog Man is based on Hachiko he likely has quite a tragic backstory. Which is why he is the way he is (stoic, bland face, doesn’t interact with people much). So the fact that he’s in a relationship already says a lot about how much he cares about that person. It takes a lot for Watchdog Man to get involved with someone - because of the fear of losing them.

However, once he’s in a relationship he is all in. His feelings are intense though not obviously so - he remains stoic and casual. He’s loyal and dedicated (just like Hachiko). Will never look at someone else when he’s in a relationship - the whole concept just doesn’t make sense to him. Why would he look elsewhere when he has you? Also doesn’t talk about you behind your back. Your relationship stays between the two of you (unless he’s teasing you).

He mixes boyfriend, friend and pet behaviours. Is pretty much all of these in one. As such he is loyal, caring and playful. Yeah, you didn’t really expect the last one but he does enjoy teasing you in a playful way. Often makes you smile and laugh this way. For example, he’ll pretend to be a lapdog and just plonk himself in your lap. If you tell him he’s too big he’ll act all wounded (but with the same blank expression which just makes it funnier) and say “but [Y/N]-chan I fit perfectly and you’re comfy.”

He will often use/exaggerate his doggy behaviour to make you smile. Like if you’re upset he’ll nuzzle at you and cuddle up with you. Or if you’ve been studying for 4 hours straight he’ll take your collar in his mouth and literally pull you away from your books telling you “it’s time for walkies. Outside. Where the sun is. You need to look after yourself.”    

You’re his person the way Q-City is his town. He’s protective of you and will actively make sure the areas you frequent are safe (from both monsters and humans). His partner is his family (likely his only family due to said tragic backstory). 

A very casual boyfriend. Generally prefers to spend time with you at home rather than going out. He tends to attract a lot of attention from the public when he’d rather focus on you. Not that he won’t go out or make grand gestures but even these tend to come across as quite casual - probably because his expression stays the same. You’ll come home after a long day to a candlelit dinner and Watchdog Man sitting with a single rose in his mouth, blank-faced as always.

Is not at all jealous and it’s pretty much impossible to make him jealous. Very secure in your relationship. Doesn’t really care who you hang out with as long as you’re safe and happy. If someone starts hitting on you he generally leaves you to handle it, unless they refuse to take no for an answer or you start smelling really stressed or are otherwise sending him ‘help me’ signals. Then he’ll pad on over and generally weird the person away. Like he’ll just sit and stare at them until they move away. If this proves ineffective he’ll straight up tell them to leave you alone. “[Y/N] is mine. Leave.” He can be very blunt. He only gets violent with humans if they act violently first.

The most jealous he gets if you have/get a pet. Especially if it’s a pet that you cuddle a lot. He’ll be giving them the side-eye as they sit on your lap. If you stuck your head in the room when the two are alone you’d see Watchdog Man sat opposite your pet with a serious expression on his face. He leans down to their level and says something like “we both love [Y/N]-chan so we have to share. It’s not fair for you to hog all the lap time.” Honestly it’s rather humorous.    

Loves domesticity. He likely initiates living together (if he has his way you’ll be living together within 6 months of the relationship starting). He won’t pressure you into it, but all he wants is to build a home with you. Wake up with your scent around him. Come home to you. To Watchdog Man your sleepy bedheaded self is >>>>> than you polished and dressed up. Plus living together maximises the time he gets to spend with you around both your busy schedules. He loves seeing you being casual and open with your interests/habits - adores the intimacy and freedom of it. 

Watchdog Man doesn’t put on an act (except for the purposes of being playful and teasing) and doesn’t expect you to either (do you mumble to yourself, sit in ‘odd’ ways, ect? He doesn’t care, go for it). Watchdog Man acts the same on the first date as he will on your tenth anniversary. That casual tenderness and generosity is lifelong. As such there’s no real urge to try and impress him or anything like that. He just wants you to be you.   

He’s not particularly verbally affectionate. He rarely says I love you but prefers to show you with his actions. Makes time for you and is super emotionally supportive. If you’re having a stressful time and need to vent/cry/cuddle he’s right there and will let you get it all out without interrupting. You can be free with your emotions with him (the way you can be with a pet - no judgement, just support). He won’t say anything about it unless he’s concerned that there’s something going on. He might just casually check in with how you are doing an hour later. You can talk about anything with Watchdog Man and know that he’ll listen - even if it doesn’t look like he’s listening.  

Very physically affectionate. The best cuddle partner (except in summer; you have no idea how he doesn’t overheat in the fur). Lie all over him, let him lie all over you, rest his head in your lap while he naps, lean on him, stroke his fur, play wrestle, ride on his back - he loves all of it. In winter he often joins you on the futon to sleep together (so warm and cosy). But he doesn’t mind giving you space. If you don’t want to share a bed (or it’s too warm) but still want him close he’ll move his dog bed next to your futon and let you hold his paw or stroke him as you fall asleep. 

Also he gives great belly rubs (and is happy for you to reciprocate) and will let you play with his paws/toe beans. He thinks it’s adorable to watch you fuss over them. Also likes to nuzzle and lick your cheek. He wasn’t super familiar with kissing when you first got together but he learns to really enjoy them. You could be married for fifty years and he’ll still want kisses and enjoy make-out sessions (that don’t lead to anything).

Speaking of marriage, he can take or leave it. He’s not religious and marriage doesn’t really mean anything to Watchdog Man - he’s as dedicated to you 3 weeks into the relationship (unmarried) as he is 10 years later (married). However, if you got him a dog collar he pretty much considers that a marriage proposal and wedding ceremony in one. It’s a symbol of your regard for him and he wears it always. So it really depends on his partner if they actually get legally married or not.

He doesn’t use a lot of pet names. Unless there’s one you really like to be called he probably just adds -chan to your name (whether you’re male or female because he thinks you’re super cute). He, however, will respond to literally anything as long as he recognises that you mean it as a term of endearment. You could call him Fluffy Hunbun in the middle of an S-class meeting and he would be completely unfazed (nothing you do or say ever embarrasses him). Sometimes you use really bizarre pet names just to see how he’ll react. He knows what you’re doing. He admires your creativity. However, his favourite of all of them (and the one you probably use most often) is puppy. 

He’s quite generous. If you off-handidly mention how you’re struggling to get hold a rare textbook or something, you’ll come home the next day to see one sat on the table. Again he’s very casual about it - you needed something and he could get it (fat paycheck and connections due to being an S-class hero) so he did - that’s what a good boy(friend) does. He didn’t expect to ever have a family again, so he considers this kind of thing to be paying you back for giving him that.

So we know he has super doggy senses (mostly smell but I imagine he has the others too). Probably the first gift he gave you was a special doggy whistle that only he can hear. “If you’re in danger than blow the whistle. I’ll come protect you.” He’s not losing his family again.

Also uses his senses to understand you. He can smell what mood you’re in (stressed, upset, scared, happy, aroused) and other hormonal changes and uses this to base how he should respond. Like if he finds you just sitting quietly in the dark, he’ll have a sniff - are you just thinking/daydreaming? Upset? Angry? It’s one of the reasons he’s so physically affectionate, he wants your happy scent all over him. Best scent ever. 

If his partner has a menstrual cycle he always knows what point their at - he doesn’t consciously mean to track it, it just happens. He’ll ask (seemingly randomly) if you need any menstrual products picking up and, lo and behold, your period starts in the next couple of days. It takes you an embarrassingly long time to figure out how he always knows. Plus he can usually sniff out if you’re ill/coming down with something. If you’re feeling bleh you can ask for a sniff check to see if you’re actually coming down with something or if it’s just a momentary thing.         

[shadowofthelamp]

I’m slowly stretching myself back into reverse au and writing Timber again. Minor retcon for the reverse au: Sonic’s dimension wasn’t just conquered, it was destroyed from the inside out. When they went back to check it out, everything was roboticized- there were no signs of life left, not even Robotnik.

Some context: It’s semi-explained in the writing, but Timber moves into Devi’s dimension after they get married because he feels like he can do more there and he trusts the twins to take things back at home. They’re from entirely different universes (and different dimensions within those universes) but can traverse between them via the interdimensional highway. Timber’s universe is based on the M:XYL series where he’s a Shadow/Sally kid who was had a few years before Sonic and Sally got back together, and Devi’s is based on my ‘reverse au’ where Scourge is Sonic Prime and Sonic is anti-Sonic- she’s the daughter of their clone son. Got it? Good. Here we go.

Wordcount: 1050

Timber groaned, rolling his shoulders as Sonic settled down at the table across from him. His book was splayed open and forgotten mere inches away.

“Slept funny?”

“No, it’s the natural energy of this world.” Timber held up a hand, a yellow flame flaring from his fingers before it twisted around in midair as if someone had blown at it. The color flickered from yellow, to green, to red, then back to yellow. “My body just has to get used to it. It always happens when I’m here for longer than a day.”

“Oh, huh.” Sonic tilted his head to the side. “That sucks.”

“You got moved here from another dimension. How did you deal with it?”

Sonic shrugged, counting off on his fingers. “Between the starvation, the cold stone floors, the electroshocks, and Scourge generally being as much of an asshole as he could, I barely even noticed.”

Timber flinched. Genius move, Acorn. “Oh. Right.”

Sonic set a hand on Timber’s head, scratching a little between the fluffy ears. “It’s fine, that’s all long in the past. If you want, I’m sure the nurse can help- she’s dealt with Devi long enough that I’m sure she knows how to handle interdimensional jetlag.”

“Right…” Timber’s ear twitched before he pulled away from Sonic a little. “Maybe later- mostly it’s just kind of an uncomfortable tingling, nothing painful.”

“That’s good, that’s good.” Sonic nodded. ”Devi still wrapped up in the wedding plans?”

“She’s probably talking poor Annette’s ear off. I’m to go down and make sure that she actually eats in...” He pulled a pocket watch out of one of the pouches on his overcoat. “Half an hour, but she doesn’t want me to see the actual dress until the wedding, and I’ll oblige her that.” He looked back up at Sonic. “So, how is ‘Grandpa’?”

Sonic grinned. “Being kind of pissy you’re moving in, but I wouldn’t worry about it. You can take care of yourself, and you’re going to be family now- he respects that more than you’d think. He actually likes Krysta- she kind of grew on him.”

“It’s still weird to think we’re going to be in-laws.”

“He’ll live. He still adores Dev, and you’re a nice kid.” 

“He hates me. I’m pretty used to people making snap judgements, but I’d like to think I’ve gotten pretty good at bringing people around to at least tolerate me.” Timber slid one of his inhibitors off, rolling it around underneath his index finger. He’d taken to wearing fingerless gloves instead of nothing at all on his hands, and he could feel the energy within the bracelet shifting from the anarcym in the atmosphere. 

“He doesn’t hate you. If he hated you, you’d be dead.”

“Reassuring,” Timber replied dryly. 

“You know…” Sonic thought for a moment. “I think you remind him of his dad.”

“His dad?” Timber raised an eyebrow. “Grandpa Jules? He’s a nice guy, sure, but-”

“It’s a sore spot. This universe is all switched up from yours, remember?” As if Timber could forget, considering he was moving into an alternate version of the same castle he’d grown up in. “I don’t think he was that great to Scourge since he was obsessed with politics, and trying to make the whole world better meant he left his family behind.”

Timber sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Ah. But that’s not-” 

“You said that was part of why you came here, right? To try and help give us a better idea of what running a monarchy should be like, and helping the people?” He shrugged. “I’m not saying that’s the only thing that you’re here for, since I can tell you and Devi are genuinely tight. Honestly, though, you’re staying for the same reason I did.”

Timber jolted. “I thought you were-”

Sonic raised an eyebrow. “You think Scourge could keep me here for forty-five years without me wanting to stay?” Timber just blinked, and Sonic idly ran his fingers over the leather collar around his neck. “He took the shock collar off when we were twenty. There’s a starpost buried in the basement, and plenty of people didn’t like him when we were younger. I could have gotten out if I’d really wanted when he started giving me some more freedoms, but home was completely destroyed, and shoving aside some random Sonic would have probably caused more problems.” He paused. “Especially considering Scourge is the blueprint for what a Sonic should act like, so all his friends would probably be jerks anyway.” 

“Ouch.” Timber winced. “You-”

Sonic waved a hand, dismissing Timber’s concerns before they could even be voiced. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve gotten used to it. I like Scourge now- he really grows on you. Plus, I started helping to reshape things- having a partner that rules the world means I’ve got a lot of power by influencing him. Over the years he’s learned to listen to me- it cuts down on the coup attempts.”

Timber groaned. “I’m going to have to learn to deal with those too, aren’t I? Once the Dark Presence dissipated, we haven’t had too many problems with people grabbing for the throne.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t happen too often anymore, but we’ve got warning systems in place after the time with the knockout gas. You’re a good fighter, Devi says, so you’ll be fine.”

“Oh Chaos,” Timber muttered before straightening up. He’d slumped over at some point.

“We should try a sparring session at some point. If you can fight me, you can fight off any intruder, trust me.”

“It’s not that.” Timber said. “I know I can defend myself, it’s just- still weird realizing I’m going to be staying here long enough to deal with all of this.”

“Hopefully it’ll be forever, if you and Dev don’t drive each other nuts.” He grinned. “We don’t bite unless you ask.” At that, Sonic set a hand on Timber’s shoulder and squeezed. “Just relax. If you ever need somebody to talk to, I’m here, and Krysta is too. Most of the maids are really nice too. I know Scourge, Remy, and even Devi can be kind of a lot at times, but we love them.”

“Yeah, it’ll be worth it,” Timber said, nodding to himself as he stood up, chair grinding against the stone floor. “I’m off to pry my fiancée off her seamstress. Can you tell the cooks to start something?”

Sonic nodded. “Got it. See you later?”

Timber smiled back. “See you later.”

[an-ambivalent]

Hi, can i request a scenario? It's okay if you don't do it :) Can you make depressed and lonely yandere! Artist! Tae falling in love with his s/o? Thank you :")

Hello! Sorry this took ages, and this turned out to be quite different to what I thought of writing it as, or you requested. Sorry about that :’D I hope you still like this though! 

This is very slightly loosely based off Barbie as Rapunzel 

Warning: As this  contains yandere themes, the characters display behaviors that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read. Read at your own risk. This work is purely fiction. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behaviour irl, nor do I condone this sort of behaviour.

Pairings: Yandere! Taehyung x Reader | Yoonji x Reader

Word Count: 4.9K

Xanadu Of Strokes

Art was a peculiar thing – it was such a broad term that held significant meaning and value to many. But at the same time, it was also perceived as an insignificant subject with no worth, and seen as a complete waste of time. One person may believe that art is mere sketching, while most tend to have a general understanding that it included painting, music, writing, dancing and more – it was a vast definition that was limited only by one’s imagination; art was a self expression that allowed one to explore the darkest version of themselves, and express that secretive dark self of them through symbols, words, and actions without fearing judgement. 

Taehyung  was someone who held art dearly to his heart. To him, art was as essential as breathing – it meant everything to him. Art was his only means of expressing himself in the life where he was allowed to show no emotion. Similarly, in the life where he had little to no freedom, and no means of leaving the four walls that constantly confined him, a single paint brush was his only means of escape. 

It was exhilarating – to be able to escape into the world of his own creation and be the most respected and powerful person. It was a facade fictional ideal he used to cope with the powerlessness he could likely never overcome in this current reality. He was all but a simple man who had been kept captive for as long as he could remember. In a gigantic and tall tower that loomed over everything in the middle of nowhere, where he had been cut off from the outside his entire life, his capturer Min Yoonji,  had kept his freedom limited to one room. Miss. Yoonji had claimed that it was too dangerous for someone like Taehyung to be outside, that his being and what he had to offer, was too good for anyone except for her to see. 

For some strange reason, she had a weird obsession with his hair. While he did not mind, Taehyung found it strange how she always forced him to keep his hair one specific length – never shorter or longer than its current length. Each day, morning and night, she would run her fingers through his soft locks, wash it in a specific way, talk about how beautiful it was, and how it was going to be the big break she needed to finally make her mark in the world. She treated his hair as if it was cultivating some sort of magic. 

Unbeknownst to Taehyung, his hair was magical. Yoonji was an obsessive aspiring fashion designer. Each time she crafted an outfit and integrated a lock of Taehyung’s hair in her designed outfits, they would become engulfed in white light before quickly transforming and taking a life of their own. She eagerly looked forward to the day when she would complete her fashion line, and release her unique clothes into the world. 

Presently, Taehyung had finished another painting with his one and only brush. Just like what painting and his own art to mean, the brush he used felt like it was his life line. Ever since he found it, Taehyung made sure to keep this brush his own secret and hidden away from Yoonji at all costs – it was his only ticket to getaway in order to keep himself sane. Not to mention, the brush painted whatever Taehyung  imagined as an actual artwork, and it was artwork that lived and breathed. 

Taehyung made it a habit to paint only cities or certain places with intricate details. That way, he could visit the cities he had created, and its’ people in it. He was able to experience the world of his creations taking on their life, and relish in the world where he was not a powerless isolated human, but where he had all the power. 

One thing that Taehyung failed to realize was that his “hobby” of going into his paintings that he created was something that was beginning to develop into an obsession. Especially since the more time he spent in his paintings, which increased with each visit, a part of his soul was left behind in the world of his artwork. This would continue to be so until his whole soul would solely exist in that fantasy realm, and he could no longer return to his reality. 

Out of all the world’s he had painted, and by extension, visited, Xanadu was his favourite. It was where people were at their loviest, art was at its finest, etiquette was its richest, and him, Kim Taehyung, was the strongest. 

People bowed at his feet, and worshiped him for he was their God, their ruler; it was only in this world that his talent as an artist was acknowledged. Everyone appreciated his artworks as blessings the way they should, and would kill to have him paint for them. 

But most importantly, it was the world where his most beloved, who he treasured more than his brush, lived. The world where his most beautiful, and his favourite piece he had ever created breathed.

You were the main reason Taehyung spent hours upon hours locked in Xanadu, and spent enough time that he was beginning to lose his soul. 

Like he always did during this time of the day, Taehyung walked towards one of the walls in his room. A big, loose, rusty red and gold cloth was draped on the wall to hide the world that laid behind; Xanadu. 

With the back of his hand, Taehyung moved the cloth aside. His eyes that were usually lacking of interest and life, glowed with a lustrous wonder and excitement. His heart-shaped lips stretched into a wide grin. With much practice now by his side, he had become accustomed to travelling between fantasy and reality. 

Eyebags that had appeared underneath his eyes were much more prominent than they had been ever before. It was a sign that indicated how he was close to losing the last few fragments of his soul. For a mere second, his eyes glistened a dangerous and chilling blue. It disappeared as soon as it had appeared, and Taehyung allowed his hand to be absorbed into the painting, before his whole body slipped into it. 

The moment Taehyung entered Xanadu, a bright light glowed throughout his entire body. His shabby appearance which consisted of being dressed in a huge, baggy, and poor-quality robe that reached his ankles, and a white loose and baggy pants underneath it, morphed into a gold tux that radiated extravagance. There were white cuffs near the end of the sleeves towards the hands, and they folded inwards. His appearance, apart from his hair, which was usually unkempt, glistened with life and glowed. Lastly, unlike how his hair was more on the longer side in reality, in Xanadu, it was shorter, and hence easier to deal with. 

Whenever Taehyung entered Xanadu, he always landed in the same area: a small clearing field off of an alley, which was off the main street of Xanadu. As he was the only person who left and entered this world, he was the only one who knew of this. Taehyung’s mahogany eyes ran over his attire of today, and he soothed down his tux. He patted the inner breast pocket of his tux, and when he felt his treasured brush, the corner of his lips twitched upward in a satisfied smirk. 

Walking out of the grass, and the alley leading from the clearing to the main streets, Taehyung kept himself hidden in the overcasting shadows of the alley. Once he saw the opportunity, Taehyung entered amongst the strolling civilians of Xanadu, who roamed the streets for various purposes. 

The common attire worn in Xanadu consisted of clothes that one would categorize as formal in his reality. For this reason, Taehyung did not stand out with the way he chose to dress. It was not until he walked on the familiar path that led to his abode in this world, passing by people who he was acquainted with, did the word float around that their master had arrived to bestow them. 

As Taehyung walked past Miss Camila’s fruit store, the petite older female waved at him with a wide smile, and he returned her gesture with just as much friendliness.  This sudden exchange between the two caused the customers in her immensely busy store to turn towards the direction of her wave. 

They gasped when they noticed it was the notorious artist. Not wanting to be in their line of sight more than necessary, Taehyung continued on his way. As he passed more locals, and spared a few seconds of his precious time to greet them, onlookers ended up halting in the midst of what they were doing simply to gawk at his brilliance. 

When he had first started to visit Xanadu, and then later, begin travelling down this road to this actual home, Taehyung was more than happy to stop and entertain NPC’s and invest his entire time with them. However, now, he did not want to spare even a single more second than necessary – if any. This was because the more time he would give to them, meant the less time he had with you. Especially with Yoonji breathing down his neck on the other side. He could not even begin to imagine what she would do if she found him missing, and learned about the fat that Taehyung was able to escape, or what his brush could do. 

It was not long until after a few turns to the left and right, away from the main crowds and towards the secluded area where there was almost no one, that Taehyung reached his desired destination. 

His home he stood before was small, composed of mahogany brown wood. The windows were visible at the exterior of the house and the entrance door was painted white. The roof was dirty green, and next to the steps that led to the entrance, were vast types of flowers and plants. The darker hue of brown, and dirty green contrasted well against the darker leaves, lighter brown branches of trees that surrounded his home; it appeared to be quite cozy. 

Taehyung walked up the steps of his abode, unlocked the front door, and stepped in. Then, he gave the premises around his home one last glance to make sure no one had seen him enter it, before he closed the door. He shrugged off the coat of his tux and hung it on the coat holder. Then, he proceeded to walk through the living room, up a flight of stairs, before he unlocked a room and entered it. In that room, on the large king-sized bed that was in the middle of the lavish room, laid a woman, whom’s arms and legs were tied to the bed with soft crimson silk. 

As Taehyung moved closer to the bed, his lips were beginning to stretch into a fond smile. He was finally here. After so long, he could finally see, touch, and be happy with his beloved once again. 

Whether it was something he had not realized, or knew but chose to ignore for the sake of it, but what Taehyung did to you, was exactly what Yoonji did to him which he despised her for immensely. He stripped you off your freedom and caged you as his captive. That was all good though because unlike Taehyung, you were not real. You existed as his creation and therefore, for him. There was no need for you to be your own person, or have your own life when you could just exist for Taehyung, and to keep him satisfied. 

Your eyes, tired and filled with desperate need, fluttered open as Taehyung sat by you, and gently brushed his fingers against the soft skin of your skin, to inform you of his arrival. 

“Time to wake up sweetheart, I’m finally here. I’m sorry I took longer than last time. I tried to be as fast as I could, I’m sorry that I barely only made it when you’re on the verge of dying from starvation and dehydration. I promise I’ll be faster next time. Here have some water first,” Taehyung murmured, as he held out a glass to you. Conditioned to be obedient to his every word, you obliged and started to slowly slip the water instantly. Then, after another glass of water, he started to feed you some bread. You ate it without any complaints, or putting up a struggle. 

See, since long time ago, you learned your lesson the hard way and now knew that it was best to let Taehyung do whatever he wanted, and allow him to have his way. The consequences of struggling against him, when he would always be granted to be the victor, was not worth it. Besides, like he had mentioned, you were literally on the brink of death. And so, the only thing that mattered to you right now was having access to water so it would not feel like you were living in a dry desert in your own body, and to have food in your stomach so you would not feel so utterly weak and sick. 

Frankly speaking, your situation was horrendous. But to Taehyung, it was delusionally perfect and something that was the best for you both. You did not know why he did this, or why he felt the way he did, but Taehyung wanted to do everything for you. Feeding you, changing you, washing you, and everything else – nothing was an exception to this rule. With his smothering presence that breathed down your neck every second of the day, you had absolutely no privacy. He treated you as if you were an incompetent baby, and he was the overbearing parent who could not help but spoil you to the point where he literally did do everything for you. 

Initially, such loss of your own autonomy was downright humiliating for you. You had never been forced into such confinement from someone as controlling as Taehyung before, who left you feeling completely helpless and powerless. You desperately wished there would be way you could rescue yourself, or have someone rescue from the devil’s clutches that belonged to Kim Taehyung. 

It was ironic really – Taehyung believed that the people of Xanadu respected him and worshiped him because he claimed to be the creator of some sort and it was out of their love for him. However, that was not the case. Everyone seemingly kissed the ground he walked on out of fear, and because they had to. Your ruler had heard from other cities that no longer existed about what happened to them when they refused to bow before the outsider in gold who claimed to be their creator. In anger, with the aid of the brush of creation by his side, he had annihilated their entire civilizations. Now, Xanadu, had no choice but to entertain his delusional ideas,  and for your own sake, and your people’s, you were the one who had it the worst and had to go along with all of his schemes, and at the cost of your entire life, entertain his sick ideas of love. 

It disgusted you to your core. Especially the thought of how an outsider from the other side could have gotten their hands on the brush of creation, travel to your world, claim it to be their creation, and continue to travel to this side and be willing to lose their soul in order to do so – it was all too much to think about, and even revolting at some point. 

You just wished Taehyung could disappear so you and other inhabitants of Xanadu could live in peace and with your freedom once again. 

“You’re such a good girl for me,” Taehyung murmured, his eyes eerily wide, as he petted your head in approval. Then, abruptly, he leaned down and licked some of the crumbs that were on the corner of your lips. It took your entire will-power to not grimace as he did this. 

Shortly after, Taehyung moved away from you, and gave you a sweet smile. If it was not for everything he had done to you, you would have actually found it sweet, and maybe cute. But after being forced to dance with this devil and getting burned, you knew it was anything but sweet or cute. 

“You’ve been really strong and good by patiently waiting for me the entire last few days and doing exactly what I say. You definitely deserve a reward for your current behaviour. Now, before I do this, I’m going to explain a few things, and if you fail to listen to me you will pay the price. Do I make myself clear?” He enquired, and you mindlessly nodded. Although, in the pit of your stomach, butterflies churned in an uncomfortable way that filled you with anxiety, and made you want to puke.  After all, who knows what sort of revolting things Taehyung considered a ‘reward.’ 

“I’m going to untie your bindings and let you roam around in the house,” He started, and your eyes widened in surprise. Almost instantly, a grin started to form on your lips. You were unable to control your reaction, and as this happened, Taehyung narrowed his eyes at you because you had never smiled like that for him. 

“And I’ll be leaving you to your own devices for a bit while I go and buy something for a special time together since it’s been a while since we’ve done anything together. While I’m gone, and I leave you alone, do you promise to stay within your limits? No attempting to runaway, hurt yourself, or make a plan to hurt me. Can I trust you to do that?” Taehyung asked, his voice etched with caution. 

You were having a difficult time grasping the fact that he was going to allow you to have freedom. Not wanting to let such a rare opportunity slip from your hands, you nodded. 

He was hesitant for a few seconds, before he sighed, and eventually reached out to untie the harshly binding silk cloth. As his fingers brushed against your bruised wrists, you held your breath in anticipation. He intertwined his finger in the cloth, before his movements halted, and his eyes averted to yours. He gazed into your eyes with an intense gaze, and promises of danger swam in his mahogany coloured irises. 

“I’ll remind you in case you forget. Remember, the fate of your entire country rests in your hands. You make one wrong move, you do one thing that aggravates me, and I’ll make sure no one else exists in this country anymore. No one else but us. As much as it hurts me to say this,  you don’t want that do you?” He said posing a looming threat over you with his words. 

You inwardly winced. 

“N-No,” You responded, and looked down towards your body in order to avoid Taehyung’s gaze. 

Taehyung nodded in approval. 

“Good, then make sure to keep up your good behaviour,” He said, before he untied all of your bindings. Afterwards, he leaned closer to you, and kissed you forcefully, and for longer than you would have liked him to. However, with freedom finally being just at the tip of your fingertips, you knew better than to mess up now. 

Once Taehyung pulled away, his cheeks feeling hot, he gave you one last grin, before getting up, and making his way out of your room, and out of the house. 

“I’ll see you soon my love,” He said, and walked out. 

Even after the sound of the front door being shut and locked resonated throughout the household, signalling that Taehyung had left, you remained seated on the bed. You were lost in your thoughts due to still being unable to grasp the fact that you were not tied up like a caged dog anymore. It wasn’t until the noise of your bedroom’s door knob being fiddled with in an attempt to open it reached your ears were you forced out of your train of thoughts. 

Your eyes widened because what? You lived alone the majority of the time, and had been for who knows how long due to your captivity. The only person who visited you was Taehyung, and always in utter desperation to see you, he would just walk in straight away. Fiddling with the door knob was NOT his style which only meant one thing… Someone was breaking in. 

Did that… did that mean they were going to hurt you? 

You did not get a chance to ponder on this because the door was kicked open harshly, and someone who looked oddly familiar, but you could never recall ever meeting her, strolled in. 

She had straight hair that ended at her neck and looked to be quite soft and silky. Her bangs ended just past her eyebrows. She wore a full sleeve white ruffle top, and on top of her top, a brown leather waist cincher hugged her waist. You noticed how unlike waist cincher that inhabitants often wore, her’s had locks of hair woven into it. She wore baggy dark brown pants, and long brown leather boots that reached just beneath her knees. Lastly, she wore fingerless gloves, and there were a variety of weapons attached to her hip: two daggers, a gun, and a sword. It was as if she was on a mission to haunt somebody. 

All to soon, her eyes shifted to your quivering form. There was a dangerous aura of a predator radiating off her. Cautiously, her eyes scanned your figure up and down to examine if you posed as a threat in anyway. Momentarily, unbeknownst to you, her gaze focused on your wrists that were heavily bruised since you had been tied up for so long. Her eyes narrowed into a glare at that observation, before they shifted to your face. 

She felt sorry for you. 

“Out of everything, Xanadu was the last place I expected Taehyung to be hiding in. And you to be last reason I could ever imagine being his reason for escaping. I’m surprised; didn’t expect someone as sheltered as him to have such good taste,” She said, while the last sentence was muttered more to herself. At the unexpected compliment, your cheeks reddened. You didn’t give it too much thought though because at the moment, there was a bigger fish to fry. You didn’t miss out on the fact that she had said Taehyung’s name. 

Having the courage you did not know you had to voice the questions you wondered about, you spoke. 

“W-Who are you? And how do you know him? Are you here to keep an eye on me to make sure I don’t do anything while he’s gone?!“ 

Seeing the unease and worry on your face, in addition with the questions you asked, caused her to raise an eyebrow. 

“What? Me, a spy for Taehyung? Don’t make me laugh. I want him gone, permanently. I’m Min Yoonji. I would tell you about my relationship with Taehyung but you might be a spy for him,” She retorted. 

Immediately, you scoffed. 

“The last thing he would have me as would be a spy. I’m nothing but fancy decor for him – he has had me locked up for ages and has taken my entire dignity from me. I would never associate myself with a monster like him if Xanadu’s safety didn’t depend on the fact that I have to play pretend as his submissive,” You uttered bitterly, looking down at your lap. 

Yoonji’s eyes widened, and her eyes roamed to your back that was slightly exposed due to your bent position. The numerous cuts and bruises that covered it caused anger to rise in her, and she clenched her fist. 

You looked so broken, so lost, so hurt. Seeing such an expression on your face, the fact that one of her people she had failed to protect, suffered at the hands of an outsider, made her chest feel heavy in sorrow. 

She walked towards you, and went down on one knee so she would be at your eye level. Then, her hand grabbed yours, and her fingers intertwined with yours; she squeezed your hands gently yet firmly in reassurance. 

“What’s your name?” She asked, and you looked up and found yourself staring into her eyes. Unlike before, when her eyes were narrowed at you into a cold stone and apathetic stare, they were now etched with warmth. A bright shine that made you feel as if that now, you weren’t alone anymore, and that now, she would make sure everything was going to be okay, illuminated her eyes. 

“[Surname] [Name],” You answered, and noticed that there was a slight crack in your voice, and you felt like you were on the verge of crying. 

Yoonji smiled sweetly at you. 

“That’s a beautiful name. Say [Name], do you know about the prophecy?” She wondered, and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What prophecy?” 

“The prophecy of the outsider who would come to possess the brush of creation and pose a threat to the inside realm and to people like us. Just like you, I’m from Xanadu. I’m the next heir for our country, but the information about my existence was never made public. You see, I’ve been raised as a fighter, because according to the prophecy, only a royal blood who has been outside can stop the painter that seeks the destruction – who is Taehyung. Before returning home, I did my best to keep him locked up and weak in the outside world so he couldn’t come here. 

“But evidently, my plan has failed since he still somehow managed to get his hands on our brush and not only destroy other countries, but hurt you, one of my people I am meant to protect. I am deeply ashamed of my failures and for allowing you to get hurt. I don’t know if this will allow me to gain your forgiveness, but as a personal victim of Taehyung, I at least should tell you of all people. 

“I have cultivated Taehyung’s hair and woven them into many clothes which will protect us from the magic of brush. Not only that, but Taehyung’s lost his soul. So with no more spiritual energy to offer, his bond has weakened and it won’t be long before he is unable to wield the brush. He’s weakening so no matter what he tries, I will easily take him down. Then, everyone of us can be free and live our own lives without fearing Taehyung again,” Yoonji reassured smiling. You would have gasped loudly still trying to get your head around all the information Yoonji told you had it not been that you two got interrupted by the very person you both despised. 

“You must be delusional if you think I’ll just let you hurt me Yoonji,” Taehyung greeted in a hiss, and both Yoonji’s and your eyes snapped towards him. 

Your eyes widened in fear, while Yoonji stood up to her full height, and faced him standing in front of you, with her back turned towards you in order to hide you from him. Confidence oozed out of her, and although you could not see her expression, she smirked. 

“I don’t have to hurt you. The brush will hurt you for me. Your eyes are glowing blue Taehyung, you use it one more time and you’ll be gone. It would be in your best interest to give up and hand over Xanadu back to me,” Yoonji warned, as she unsheathed her sword, and prepared to duel. 

Taehyung smirked. 

“If I’m a goner, then I’m taking all of you with me, especially you [Name]. You’re mine! I won’t let anyone else have you or Xanadu. I created you so I get to decide what I do with you,” Taehyung stated, as he prepared to paint the end with the brush of creation he had in his hand. 

You whimpered, and out of fear, went to hold onto Yoonji. However, as you tried to grab onto what you would have assumed to be Yoonji’s clothes, you found yourself trying to grab onto thin air. 

You gasped when you saw Yoonji running towards Taehyung in a blinding speed, and before you even had the chance to blink, she had kicked at the back of his knees causing him to drop onto the floor. Then, she with the hilt of the sword, she hit brush of creation out of his hands, before grabbing both of his hands and twisting it behind his arm. Taehyung yelled in pain as Yoonji pushed him onto the ground. Then, she held her sword to his neck. 

“One wrong move, and I’ll kill you right here and right now,” She started in a warning. Simultaneously, she pricked his skin with the tip of her sword, causing him to hiss in pain, as miniscule amount of blood leaked out from the minor cut. 

“Kim Taehyung, you are under arrest for destroying countries and threatening the safety and peace of Xanadu,” She declared, before pausing to turn her eyes to you. 

Then finally, she said the words you would have killed to hear. 

“You’re safe and free now. I swear on my life to protect Xanadu and its’ people to make sure it stays that way.” 

________

Please share your thoughts :)

[creatingnikki]

Dearest Saleta,

Your vibe and answers were so quintessentially tumblr – aesthetic, joyful, pure and defying the societal conventions. I can picture you wearing a vintage floral dress that’s flowy and lacy, wearing a flower crown and dancing to rock music. Smiling super wide and clicking Polaroid pictures, scribbling a happy quote and the date on it in your giddy happiness. Texting all your friends and loved ones about how grateful you are to have them in your life and just how much you love them. Were you born in the wrong time? You seem too precious for now. All of this also reminds me of a song - I wish I was a punk rocker by Sandi Thom. Do give it a listen, if you haven’t before.

Also the way you described your fashion style made me think of one of my favourite YouTubers – Ashley @bestdressed. Maybe you’d resonate with her and her fashion sense. Are these too many recommendations? Sorry, when I think someone will like something – book, movie, Youtube channel, song, tv show – I feel like this personal sense of duty to tell them about it because these things have brought me such joy and to think that I would have never come across some of it is a thought that makes me shudder.

You mentioned online friends. And that takes me down the memory lane. I was a very ‘weird’ teenager so no one around ever related to me. I also found most of them stupid and unimpressive. Yet I was never lonely and that’s thanks to the internet and all the beautiful and crazy people it enabled me to meet from across the world. The first time I met someone online was at 13. He was 17 and his username on a chat room website was ‘Edward Cullen’. It prompted me that he would be around my age because I really was tired of coming across old creeps who started the conversation with ‘asl’. And ever since then I was on a roll. 

Some of the most precious people in my life I met online. From my first official boyfriend to a few of my dearest friends. But until I was 17, I thought it was something I had to hide from everyone in my “real life”.  I thought the fact that I talk to people online in such a meaningful and constant way reflected on how miserable or awkward or unliked I was in my “real life”. But of course I kissed that mentality goodbye a long time ago and I’m so glad. The fact that we can connect with people we have and probably will never meet, who live starkly different lives than ours is a sign of how non-judgemental, accepting and earnest we are and I think that’s pretty damn awesome, isn’t it? I would have never done this before but I’m now going to go ahead and list all the places online I spoke to strangers:

Yahoo!Answers

Omegle

Wakie

Whisper

Tumblr

Wattpad

Facebook

That for me is a sign of growing up. Thank you for being a witness to that. Love is freedom, you said. I wish more people saw it that way because you’re right. But at least you see it that way and I can only imagine that some others do too and that’s a start! So many people end up hurting people in the name of love and the Netflix show YOU is such an apt example of that. Sure, people will say that it’s merely a fictional and dramatized version but I know so many people in reality who are trapped in lives that suffocate them on a daily basis but they cannot leave the people who make it so for them. I hope you are never one of them.

The book The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The Kdrama Because This is My First Life

The German to English translated novel written completely in the form of letters – Love Virtually by Daniel Glattauer

The movie Before Sunrise

The song Palatte (25) by IU

These are a few of the more precious things I recommend to you that I hope add some value to your life. There are no words of comfort or strength I need to offer to you – and I am relieved about that. So, this is my way to add something positive to your life instead. PS I also want to share something beautiful my love shared with me yesterday: When you look at a flower, some of the photons that enter your eye finally end their 1,00,000-year journey from the center of the sun. Nobody else sees them. Just you. 10% of those will give up their energy to cause a chemical reaction that – literally – makes them a part of you.

So I suppose then, you truly have sunshine within you, Saleta. Stay awesome, Nikki

Guys, February is 29 days of love letters. I’m writing love letters, as part of The Love Project, and if you’d like me to write one to you, drop me an email at creating.nikki@gmail.com

There are 8 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D

I wrote this letter for Saleta based on some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers here. 

[sketchy-saram]

Just some very personal thoughts I had yesterday, thinking about all the small ways that society--and my mother--taught me not to love myself when I was younger, and how long it has taken to claw myself out of that pit. And that was in a LOVING home. How some people ever manage self-love despite the negativity, I have no idea. But I love all of you, and just know that it might take a while--it may take a LONG while--but you can learn to love yourself, and let yourself be. <3

As I was sitting having lunch yesterday, listening to the cafeteria ladies chat about my new haircut, I thought: is it really so revolutionary, in 2020, for a girl to have short hair? But of course it is. It may be something we're more used to seeing than, say, men with long hair, but it defies traditional gender nonetheless. Yet the older I get, the more I wonder why we feel the need to cling to gender and propriety and tradition so strongly that we will limit ourselves and others. But we do, and we begin so early that it is scary.

 I thought about my hair. I thought about the reasons I had for keeping it long, when it was long, and I thought about how I felt now that it was shorter. The truth is, I never liked having long hair. It takes so long to shampoo and condition...it clings to your neck in the summer, and gets in your eyes...I never knew what to do with it or how to style it, and from the ages of 12-18 I almost exclusively wore it in a clam-style clip, twisted back and out of sight, out of mind. Why then? Why didn't I get it cut? Because girls are supposed to have long hair. Because when older women have longer hair, they're weird hippies, so if you want to have long hair, you have to do it while you're young. But at the same time, if you have short hair while you're young, it means that you're a lesbian, which of course IS FINE, but yet not at the same time, because you can tell by the way it’s said that it isn’t something you’re supposed to want to look like. 

I used to think that I had to grow my hair out so that it could be styled when I got married, because of course only long hairstyles look good on brides for wedding photos, and at that time so long ago I figured that a wedding would be in my cards soon enough. Except that I still hated my long hair. It was frizzy and thick, but nobody would let me get it thinned--for reasons I still have yet to decipher to this day--so it had no shape and no body, it just...existed. The first time I got a major haircut as an adult was the first time I really felt freedom. It wasn’t even that short...just shoulder-length...but I already felt an inkling of what it was that I wanted, which was to take back my appearance and make it my own. My long hair, to me, said that I was trying to fit in but would always be found wanting, because I wasn’t like everyone else. Short hair said yes, I’m not meant to fit into the box of normal things, so please don’t put your expectations on me--I don’t want them. I hate expectations.

 It was, more or less, the same for clothes. I am stocky at best, fat at also-best, because neither of those are evil and are only descriptions. But just like ‘lesbian’, ‘fat’ has connotations for normalcy that are stigmatized; while nobody will come right out and say it (unless you happen to be on an internet forum,) being fat is not the IDEAL description you want to be using for yourself. And so it goes. But it made what was already a fraught experience of existing as a girl even more exhausting, because I wasn’t allowed to look fat. The first time I felt that, in my bones, was when I was still fairly young. Maybe eight? I was bathing suit shopping with my mom, and tried on a two-piece that was very 4th-of-July, American-flag themed. I can still see the white stars and blue-and-red stripes on the top in my mind’s eye. She looked at me troubled for a minute before saying, I guess in the nicest way possible to give your child lifelong body issues, that perhaps we should try the one piece. That day, the way the world would look at me suddenly came into sharp relief; all the parts of myself I should be trying to hide popped out like a hidden picture book in that shopping mall fitting-room mirror. I saw my round belly, poking out from between the two separate pieces of fabric, and realized it was not right. I hadn’t even learned to suck in yet, a subconscious action which I now do as thoughtlessly as breathing because of the off-handed comments my mother would make about girls I saw as skinny who ‘would look much better if they just learned to suck in that little bit of stomach’. This is a game with no winners, I realized so early, but I guess I still have to play. Now I have to consciously try not to suck in, and it is so hard to unlearn. 

We, mom and I, talked at first about how I would get thinner because ‘it was just baby fat’; and then, when it didn’t go away, how ‘we can diet together. You’re still young. Your skin will bounce back.’ Shopping at the one cheap store in the mall that sold plus-sizes--on the other side from the straight-size section, and with much uglier options--I learned that plaid ‘will make you look like a lesbian’--seems like that was a theme--so I didn’t get the plaid button-up that I really liked. But now I am almost thirty, and I look back with so much anger and sadness and confusion and regret. Why? WHY did it have to be like that? My mom wasn’t a spiteful or a hateful woman. I know that if she read this, it would break her heart into a million pieces to think that all these things have affected me so much for so long. She didn’t do or say anything that a million other parents haven’t told their kids off-handedly before her, or since. But still, I have to ask the question: why? What is the point?

 I don’t want to have children. I’ve given the issue a lot of thought, and it just isn’t for me. But I still feel, strongly, that parents need to put more effort into not saying things that their kids will remember long after they’re said. Let your kids do what they want with their appearance. It truly, truly doesn’t matter. Let them have their hair how they want it--it will grow back. Let them wear whatever fashion they like, and refrain from stepping in with your outside opinions about how the world will perceive those choices. Your children desperately need you to be in their corner; not their first bullies, and not the first words of doubt in their mind. Don’t let your voice be their voice of inner-doubt. Kids are cruel, but they don’t have to be. It is just as learned as using a fork, or going to the bathroom, or turning off the lights. When you say things that you think will help your child not be made fun of, you are teaching them a few things; one, that fitting in is the most important thing a person can do, and it is something to strive for. Two, that you are judging them, and that you are part of the society of which they should be worried about pleasing. Why would you want that? If you support their choices, then sure, maybe you’ll have to console a few tears--but in doing so, you put yourself firmly in your child’s corner, and it becomes the two of you versus the world. They will see you as an ally they can confide in, instead of worrying about talking to you because they’ll only get a ‘told you so’. And in the end, isn’t that what you want to be for your children? Otherwise, why did you have them in the first place? 

It has taken me the better part of 29 years to learn to, at long last, finally start to quell the voices of inner doubt that plague my every decision, and even now there are days which are a real struggle. I read an article about an 80-year-old woman who was finally comfortable enough with herself to dress the way she wanted. Take that in. Eighty years. Why has society warped us so much that it takes someone eighty YEARS to do what they want to do, when it isn’t hurting anyone? The way you dress, the way you look; as long as you are legal, it shouldn’t be anyone else’s concern. So the next time you see someone who looks a way you don’t agree with, shut yourself down before you think anything unkind. Change starts there. It gets easier to look at yourself kindly when you don’t keep a judgemental running dialogue about other people in your mind. And learn to let yourself be. We all have those moments that we realized the world would not be kind. Maybe, someday, other people won’t have to have those moments. And wouldn’t that be lovely? 

So I keep sliding my hands over my shaved head, enjoying the feeling of the buzzed bits, more authentically me than I ever have been, and I smile when people look at me with confusion. Because at last I look the way I want to look, holding nothing back...and that is so wonderfully freeing.

[meta-squash]

Intro to the Manic Street Preachers

(In which I wish I still had photoshop so I could make one of those silly slideshow type posts)

It’s come up in at least 3 separate conversations recently that I (or someone) should make an “intro to/how to get into the Manic Street Preachers,” so I’m gonna do that.

Also I tried to be brief but when it comes to the Manics and also writing in general that is not in my nature.

So here goes, a Manics 101 that is slightly longer than I anticipated but not as long as I might have made it:

First of all, a brief Manics history/bandmembers 101:

James Dean Bradfield - Lead singer, lead guitarist. Writes most of the music for the songs. Also has the job of cutting down the lyrics into something he can actually sing.

Nicky Wire - Lyricist, bassist. Writes the lyrics for the songs, with Richey and alone. Says he can’t play bass but is actually quite good. Loves to wear dresses/skirts onstage and is generally a fashion disaster. Has a big mouth and loves to criticize other bands. Has OCD and loves to clean. Is 6′3″ and has great legs and loves to mention both of those things.

Sean Moore - Drummer. Also writes some of the music. Is the only Manic who is classically trained, and sometimes plays trumpet on tracks. Sarcastic and small. Generally quiet and doesn’t like interviews. Is the only Manic actually active on social media (Twitter).

Richey Edwards - Lyricist, rhythm guitarist. Wrote most of the lyrics with Nicky and was essentially the band’s spokesman. Was extremely intelligent. Couldn’t play guitar well, basically stuck to power chords and usually forgot them anyway. Struggled with severe mental illness and addiction. Disappeared in 1995; his body was never found.

The band have all known each other since they were children and all lived in the same neighborhood. The band itself started basically in about 1989. Their thematic mantra was “culture, alienation, boredom and despair.” They were inspired by The Clash, Situationism, the Miners Strike and the various existentialist or absurdist literature they’d read. Their sound and style have changed pretty much every album. They’ve never managed to break into the American music scene but they are/were popular in Asia and Europe. Most of their songs are political or emotional, and rarely talk about love or relationships in the traditional sense. They didn’t go aboveground until 1996 and didn’t get a number one in the charts until 1998.

Where to start:

The Manics have changed their sound/style a lot, so it sometimes depends on what you like.

The bands most popular/charted songs are: Motorcycle Emptiness (1992) Faster (1994) A Design For Life (1996) If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next (1998) Your Love Alone Is Not Enough (2007) Rewind The Film (2013) Walk Me To The Bridge (2014) International Blue (2018)

But, like I said, it depends on what you like. So, here’s a rundown of suggestions for songs to listen to in order to get into them. I’ll link the song itself, give a little description of the album/song style or sound, themes, etc. Possibly some extra info if I think of any. And probably reasons why it’s a good introductory song. I’ll go chronologically, but feel free to pick and choose.

Motorcycle Emptiness - 1992. Generation Terrorists. An epic glam/punk rock anthem critiquing and despairing over the nature of society and modern culture. The band has said that if this song wasn’t included on the album, it would not have been successful. It’s also one of the coolest guitar songs the band has. This is often a starting song for most people.

Slash N Burn - 1992. Generation Terrorists. A much more punk rock song, a critique of the destructive nature of entertainment and “first world” culture, how entertainment means people ignore the ills of the world. This song is a good intro to their more social/political lyrics, and good for those who like the punk sound.

Bored Out Of My Mind - 1992. Generation Terrorists B-side. I’m including this because it was the first b-side I fell in love with. This is an acoustic piece, a lot more yearning and, well, tired/bored. It basically takes a punk riff and slows it down into something a lot prettier.

Roses In The Hospital - 1993. Gold Against The Soul. This is the song that made me fall in love with the band. It’s a critique of the mental health system, and a song about unhealthy coping mechanisms. This album has more of a grunge-feel to it, and is a lot more produced. The song features stair-stepping power chords and a grunge rhythm section with pop flair.

La Tristesse Durera - 1993. Gold Against The Soul. A grunge-style song about the way elderly veterans are (mis)treated and/or ignored by the general public once they no longer serve a purpose. This song has an excellent bassline and some great vocals.

Faster - 1994. The Holy Bible. This is the song the band itself and most fans hail as their masterpiece. An industrial/punk/hard rock song that has been described by James as “a set of sarcastic commandments for the modern age” and by Richey as being about self-abuse and “society speeding up - finds worth is failure.” It is a song that is utterly autonomous and judgemental, an Ubermensch of a song that is extremely powerful. It is, in the words of Simon Price “warped metal and tungsten under unendurable torque.”

This Is Yesterday - 1994. The Holy Bible. The calmest song on the album, this piece is a nostalgic look at the past. I’m mostly including it because the guitar riffs are simple but very pretty. (And because my roommate, who isn’t a fan, said she likes it a lot.)

ifwhiteamericatoldthetruthforonedayitsworldwouldfallapart - 1994. The Holy Bible. A fast-paced criticism of racism in the US and UK, filled with political and historical references. An industrial/post-punk style song with some excellent riffs and even better harmonies.

A Design For Life - 1996. Everything Must Go. An anthem for the working class. This song features strings and is a lot more “epic” than previous songs. The album itself is calmer, more radio-friendly. This was the band’s first big hit and the first album after Richey’s disappearance; it reached number 2 on the charts at its release.

Everything Must Go - 1996. Everything Must Go. A song ushering in a change in the band’s sound. It is the introduction of a larger, wider wall of sound, and the anthemic rock style of the album.

Small Black Flowers That Grow In The Sky - 1996. Everything Must Go. A song written by Richey before his disappearance, about the abuse of zoo animals. (In my opinion) The demo is better than the studio version, as it is a yearning acoustic piece that allows the guitar to echo the fragility of the lyrics. (The studio version has a harp that overshadows both guitar and lyrics, so I linked the demo which is my favorite.)

You Stole The Sun From My Heart - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. Lovely lyrics and a simple riff. This album has a cleaner, clearer sound. This song’s sound is optimistic even if the lyrics are slightly sadder.

I’m Not Working - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. A much slower, sadder song. I include this song because I think the lyrics describe a universal feeling. It’s a song that really shows the emotion of James’ vocals.

If You Tolerate This Then Your Children Will Be Next - 1998. This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours. The band’s first ever #1 single. This is an anti-fascist song about the Spanish Civil War, warning people to be aware of injustices. It’s anthemic and full of echoing guitars.

Intravenous Agnostic - 2001. Know Your Enemy. A return to their old punk sound. This is a slightly more anthemic take on the punk sound, but it works. The lyrics are weird but interesting.

Baby Elian - 2001. Know Your Enemy. A political song about Elian Gonzalez, a Cuban refugee who, as a 7 year old, was the center of an immigration and international custody battle between the US and Cuba.

Freedom Of Speech Won’t Feed My Children - 2001. Know Your Enemy. Another political song. I just love it because it’s SO anti-American.

Judge Yr’self - 2003 (1994). Lipstick Traces. This is from an anthology album, but it was an unreleased song recorded in 1994. Its lyrics are almost Nietszchean, intense and repetitive. Yet another huge hit with most fans, with themes and sound similar to Faster. An excellent if momentary resurfacing of their industrial sound of THB.

Empty Souls - 2004. Lifeblood. This album is more more digital-sounding, a lot more glacial than previous albums. The song is sad and aching, but very beautiful. It features a gorgeous piano riff and lingering guitar chords to complement the lyrics about loneliness.

Your Love Alone Is Not Enough - 2007. Send Away The Tigers. Their biggest hit since Tolerate. It’s a duet with Nina Persson, the lyrics a conversation between two people about what makes someone gain contentment and what does/doesn’t help. This is much more a radio-friendly rock song.

Anorexic Rodin - 2007. Send Away The Tigers B-side. Another favorite b-side and favorite among fans. The lyrics are clearly about Richey Edwards, but the best thing about the song is the fast-paced marching of the distortion guitar and the badass punk rock chorus.

Imperial Bodybags - 2007. Send Away The Tigers. This song is incredibly late 60s/early 70s-feeling, for some reason. An excellent grooving riff drives a song about war and imperialism and how civilian deaths are trivialized.

Peeled Apples - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. First track on the album and an intense, sludgy punk intro. The band has said that the lyrics of this song are pretty impenetrable but the visuals they provide are fantastic. One of my favorites, and so much weird, aggressive, wild energy. This album consists entirely of songs Richey gave to the band just before his disappearance. Because of this, the album’s sound kind of combines the sounds of The Holy Bible with the slower, prettier sounds that the band developed over the years.

This Joke Sport Severed - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. A short, stark acoustic song about the failure of love and one’s own inadequacy. This song is gentle and simple, with yearning vocals and lovely chords.

All Is Vanity - 2009. Journal For Plague Lovers. A song closer to the post-punk sound of The Holy Bible. A lilting riff that disintegrates into a much harder sound complements the lyrics that illustrate a conflicted idea of the self and a desire for answers.

Postcards From A Young Man - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man. This song returns to the huge, anthemic sound of Everything Must Go. The drumming/guitar is a lot “bouncier” than most Manics songs, but the tune itself has some really interesting turns. The lyrics look back on the past, lamenting losses but refusing to be brought down by them.

Some Kind Of Nothingness - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man. Another anthemic song that incorporates strings/a choir, this song is another nostalgia trip, this time a bittersweet mourning, an acceptance of grief and the ache of memories. It features guest vocals by Echo & The Bunnymen’s Ian McCulloch.

Red Rubber - 2010. Postcards From A Young Man B-side. This is a surprise bop. A song about Leopold II’s violent colonization of central Africa (and takes the title from a documentary of the same name), it features synthesizer sounds and distortion guitar. It starts out sound slow and meandering, but suddenly picks up to a frenzied punk pace. The chorus is catchy as hell and angry as hell.

Rewind The Film - 2013. Rewind The Film. This album is almost entirely acoustic. The song itself features Richard Hawley (although I personally like the demo version with Nicky Wire on the vocals) and emphasizes its simplicity with acoustic guitar and simple piano and strings parts. This is yet another nostalgia song, wishing to re-experience happy memories. This one is not as grief-stricken as the other ones, and instead almost seems like a haze-tinged daydream.

As Holy As The Soil (That Buries Your Skin) - 2013. Rewind The Film. A Nicky Wire vocal, this is a song specifically written to/for Richey Edwards. An acoustic piece that features a beautiful trumpet solo from Sean, this song also grieves for the past and remembers good times. But this time it asks for those who are being grieved to return, and reminds them of how much the narrator (Nicky) loves them. This is a song that is so emotional it hurts to listen to but it’s also impossible to stop listening to it.

30 Year War - 2013. Rewind The Film. A departure from the nostalgia-trip of the last few songs, this song talks about the history of Wales and the government war on the working class during the 80s. It also features some lovely trumpet work from Sean and a really cool clapping-style drum beat. The lyrics describe class-related struggles and accuse the rich and the bourgeoisie of using propaganda to blame the poor/working class for their situation and to keep them from rising up in resistance.

Walk Me To The Bridge - 2014. Futurology. This album is a transition into prog rock/krautrock. This song features a heavy marching bassline and synthesizers, a huge glacial sound that opens up into a chorus with shining chords. Nicky says it’s about “the idea of bridges allowing you an out of body experience as you leave and arrive in different places,” but the demo also contains a number of Richey-specific references so who knows.

Sex Power Love And Money - 2014. Futurology. The power of this song mostly rides on power chords that structure it and the almost metallic-sounding synth and drums. The song itself is so fun it’s almost silly, a critique of technology and the entertainment industry that simultaneously takes itself seriously and takes the piss. It is a criticism of the entertainment industry and the way that capitalism erases originality and organic-ness. But it’s also just a fun musical romp that is almost reminiscent of late 90s/early 2000s Bowie.

Futurology - 2014. Futurology. This is a gentler song that fuses the huge glacial sound with something more sunny. The band describe the lyrics as “a statement of existential socialism – belief that humanity is still a viable ideal.” The lyrics and the guitar are optimistic and big, with a nice bass riff supporting the synth sounds behind it.

International Blue - 2018. Resistance Is Futile. A gorgeous, soaring song. Jumps off the back of Futurology’s proggy sound but adds more body. The song itself is about painter Yves Klein and his creation of the color Yves Klein Blue.

Broken Algorithms - 2018. Resistance Is Futile. Returning to their punk roots in terms of the rhythm section and crunchy guitar chords. A song also returning to Nicky’s perpetual subject: the critique of society’s thoughtless dependence on technology/social media and the consequences it can have on social awareness and creativity and the self.