#and this isnt even counting nonbinary people

[fox-guardian]

hi!! this post was about how random strangers most likely won't actually gender A Lot of trans people correctly no matter what they wear, and that you shouldn't dress for other people's approval/validation, especially strangers.

most trans people, especially pre/no medical transition, will not pass to most people no matter what they wear. so they may as well have fun with it.

"maybe if i dress more boring i'll get gendered correctly by strangers" that's the devil talking

[imagine-shenanigans]

hey guys i haven't even had a chance to see atsv yet i just know spoilers and i want this man biblically, i'm talking carnally, i want him in a way that hurts feminism, i want to bring the whole damn movement down so i can be his stupid little housewife and raise his damn kids so i can watch him be happy and then also get railed into losing every brain cell i have

anyway here's some abo headcanons, they include spoilers for the movie/his backstory probably because idk what is and isnt a spoiler because i havent seen it yet.

also this one works a bit differently than my normal layout, it goes SFW and then dips NSFW and ends with more SFW but they're all clearly labeled!

Reader is written gender neutral with they/them and the nsfw section has afab and amab sections, but since I'm Nonbinary and AFAB that's probably how it's gonna come off for most of the reading, just to warn you!

Miguel O'Hara x Reader N/SFW ABO Headcanons

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 5k words

Content Warnings (tell me if I miss any): Dubcon, ABO, Obsessive Behavior, Toxic behavior, Omega reader, Alpha Miguel

For these headcanons we're gonna exist in a weird liminal space where Gabi is like, five to six or so and he brought her home with him or some shit idk man I just think he's a hot single father anwyay, also this is assuming omega reader because i think it's hot

if anyone wants a version where Miguel follows more canon and he still lost his kid and came back you're free to request that too i love that shit, just for this specific one i wanna raise his damn kids so-

SFW

Alpha, big alpha energies.

Miguel is the type of guy who's pretty obsessive with what he claims as his, I would honestly say borderline yandere vibes without fully delving into it - his mental state in this au/situation is also a lot better since he still has his daughter, so he's genuinely a lot less "feral" than he tends to get without her, even though in this we'll say he did almost lose her.

So when he claims someone, he's going to be damn sure he means it.

This ones a bit of a general headcanon but he doesn't really have a type when it comes to the people he likes, other than he needs someone who's interesting to him. Whether it's because you're hotheaded, or even keeled, whether you're snarky or sweet, he just needs something for his brain to latch onto.

Not a love at first sight guy but he is an "obsession I can't place" kind of guy.

Miguel has really enhanced senses when it comes to scenting, so it takes some damn strong suppressants and scent blockers to completely block him out... which if we're pretending reader here is falling with the abo trope of "hiding being an omega" (which we are because I love tropes) is just what gets him obsessed. Clothing and perfume that masks your scent, suppressants and scent blockers, and a confident attitude are all enough to throw most people off the (forgive my pun) scent.

But not Miguel.

His spider DNA has the animalistic side to it that fucks with his hormones regardless, makes it easier for him to pick up on the pheromones that even most attentive alphas can't, he's damn near a personal lie detector with how smart he is and how attuned he is to what his nose and instincts tell him, even when he's using serums to keep the more feral urges at bay.

He can only get a whiff of you, fainter than most betas, and it drives him fucking insane knowing he can smell something but he can't figure it out. He can't place it, and it nags at his brain. He can smell a whiff of flowers, or sugar, or something undeniably citrus (depending on what you headcanon your own smell to be) but he can't place it and he hates that shit.

Ends up pulling some traditional alpha shit and he can't even help it, starts trying to crowd you until you kick him in the shin or Peter B or Jess shoos him away. He has to figure out what it is, he has to know.

It only gets worse when he brings Gabi in (a babysitter fell through) and you end up butting your way in to play with Gabi and Mayday, delighting in watching them for the day instead of whatever you were supposed to be doing. They're both so cute and sweet.

Gabi smells primarily like cinnamon and a bit like dewey grass - she's not old enough to have presented yet, but her basic scent, unaffected by the secondary gender hormones, is simple and sweet, reminds you of a summer morning.

She takes after her father in that regard - Miguel smells *warm* and a bit musky, like trees and cinnamon and, a bit like a camp fire. A small tinge of oil, when you pick it apart, and you can't tell if its from the lingering scent on his skin after fixing a broken machine nobody else could, or if that's part of his natural scent.

(Mayday smells like marshmallows, and carmel, funnily enough)

When you take care of Gabi and Mayday, your scent lingers on their skin, mixes and twists in a way that Peter B can't notice but Miguel can. It's all he can do not to be a damn freak and pick his baby girl up and sniff her hair to try and figure out why she smells like that (not in a creepy way, to clarify because there are some freaks on here, but in the same way a dog gets baffled by smelling you use a new perfume, or in the way of when you pick your kid up and go "WHY DO I SMELL CANDLES ON YOU WHAT WERE YOU DOING")

He almost can't stand how his head swims when he watches you pick Gabi up and gently throw her up in the air a bit, watching you let her climb onto you while you're distracted just like Mayday does. Soothe her tears when she accidentally breaks a toy because she's still learning to control her super strength.

He doesn't know that he wants you either, not until long after he's already manifested feelings. Doesn't realize how protective he is, doesn't realize how differently he treats you. He doesn't realize he's lingering in your area just long enough to make sure he can fill his nose with the faint scent you give off.

He assumes you're a beta - not that it mattered to him, really. Miguel would just as soon marry another alpha as he would a beta or an omega, as long as it's you.

He doesn't realize what he's doing until he's got a piece of your clothing in his hands, holding it in the dead of night up to his nose. A scarf or a glove or a jacket you'd leant to Gabi during the day and she'd spilled her juice on it and he'd taken it home to wash it.

He can smell his daughter's scent, louder than life, so familiar he could have a handful of pepper thrown at him and he'd still be able to wrap his arms around her and move her out of harm's way in the direst of straits.

And then there's yours, linger, mingling with his daughter's scent, and it's the parent of his child.

It's not, it's not the woman who birthed Gabi, it's not the woman who contributed to making her. It's you, the only other person he ever wants near his child in that capacity. And it's intoxicating. It's infuriating. It's overwhelming because the full breadth of his own emotions is so strong as he realizes what he's been doing. And he can't even tell you because he holds himself to a specific standard, a specific code of ethics, and even though he wants to risk it all just so his hindbrain (both alpha and spider and his own human instincts all mingling in one) can have his little loves all wrapped up in his arms, safe where he can protect them.

He only just has the strength to wash the piece of cloth and return it. It takes everything he has not to cling to it, to make a pretty little nest to protect his family in, webs and pillows and fabric, a basis of protection so you can properly make it your own and -

He controls himself, and returns the scarf the next day, leaving it on your desk because he can't bear to look you in the eyes.

The days struggle by, a stark contrast to his normal snark, to lingering in your space and snorting and rolling his eyes. To being by your side more than he normally is. It's disheartening, it makes you feel rejected, and he knows it.

But he doesn't stop, this tension that can cut through the air lingering. Even Gabi and May notice it, the older girl frowning and the younger fussing when the two of you are in the room together.

And then your heat happens.

(brief bullet point break because there's a limit to how much you can have in one bulleted section on tumblr and I don't remember what it is but I'd rather just break here)

You've been on suppressants and scent blockers for years now. Being in your line of work (whether you headcanon this as a spiderperson version of you, or a different kind of superhero, or a civillian all working in the society) it's necessary. Omegas aren't rare but they're not the majority of the population like betas are. In Nueva York, it's a coin toss if you'll be fought over in the streets like some prize to be won, or if you'll be coddled like a child who can't figure out what's best for them.

It's half safety half preference at this point, from your original universe's standard (before it had burnt to cinders before you), and this one's. Your suit, your meds, and your behavior, they're all meant to mask and confuse.

But you can only make it so long on the prescription you've got, the long-lasting shots that were more reliable than a pill. The scent blockers go first - not by design, but by chance. You'd been giving yourself lower doses since you'd wound up in Nueva York, supplementing it with deodorants and lotions swiped from stores and hospitals that could afford to spare the supplies when you can't buy it covertly. But you'd still been low in comparison to your suppressants.

You shower more frequently, lather yourself with soaps and deodorants and lotions of different scents and ones that have blocking effects, and for the most part it works. You can't quite fool Gabi - too smart, too tuned in to your emotions like her father could be. She's got a sharp nose, and she wrinkles it when she can smell how confusing your scent is. She asks questions, and you can't lie your way out of it, but you are able to bribe her so she's distracted long enough that she forgets the question. Miguel notices, when he picks up Gabi, but he can't quite figure out exactly what's wrong, and you leave so fast (he assumes with the tension that lingers between the two of you) that he can't figure it out.

You're so certain you're in the clear.

But then your shots run out, and even you can't get more without a prescription. And while your health information would never go through Miguel, you know that the medispiders have to go through him or Lyla for any heavy duty things like suppressants, because they have to be resourced more carefully.

And your last doctor, although wildly shady, and incompetent, and operating out of an apartment, was right about one thing - suppressants will rot you from the inside out if you're not careful. If you don't let a natural heat occur, it will only be worse in the long run. (Although you suppose he probably had a greasier, grosser reason for telling you that.)

And rot you from the inside they have - all your natural reactions to a heat, all your normal bodily functions don't work properly, when confronted with something they haven't seen in years. You know within seconds of your suppressants flushing out of your system what's going on. You're still in the pre-heat phase of things, and you feel like you're dying. You aren't, and you know you aren't, but you feel nauseous and feverish and incoherent within an hour tops. Only long enough to let you panic and send a text to Miguel that you can't watch Gabi like you'd planned. That you're going out ad you won't be back awhile. You leave your phone in your room, when you pack your bag and head for the nearest somewhat reputable hotel that you can afford. You brace the door with the dresser, explicit instructions left for the front desk to, under no circumstances, contact you for the next week.

You get an order of pre-made meals to slap into the fridge, water and juice and all sorts of drinks and things shoved haphazardly inside once the bot brings it in through the window. You're barely coherent enough to retain control to crush the landline, rendering it inoperable, before you barricade the rest of the room.

You're definitely not in control when you nest, blankets and pillows and clothing all thrown haphazardly around as you go fully out of your gourd.

You're damn well out of your mind by the time you would have normally realized the card you were using was in Miguel's name.

(another very brief line break in this portion for drama but also so I don't hit any limits)

Miguel is pissed when you leave so suddenly.

Sure, he's been avoiding you, and sure, you aren't actually together, but you're his damn it. You don't know it, and sure, he's not going to acknowledge it out loud until something happens, but you can't just leave him and your child and his child who loves you high and dry like that!

It's laughably easy to find you, to find the hotel you've checked into. He doesn't even wait to figure out the reason you left, he's so quick on his honestly kinda toxic bs.

Gabi is left with Peter B and Jess for a bit, and Miguel is honestly so smug that he finds you so fast. You were so sloppy about it. So quick to leave that even though you left your phone behind, in a moment of clarity, you barely bothered to take back streets. You used his own damn card he'd given you to pay for the hotel for two weeks, and to order food.

If he weren't half out of his mind with concern and anger about how quickly you left, he'd be angry you used the card without asking like you normally did.

(His hind brain purrs with it though, knowing he's provided for you)

He doesn't know what did it. Miguel genuinely doesn't know what he did to earn your ire in such a way, but he can guess. He doesn't think it's how cold he was, in the beginning, but he isn't sure that it's not how he'd warmed up to you. How, when he'd let his guard down without realizing it, that he'd flirted with you. Had that made you uncomfortable? Had every 'innocent' brush against you turned you against him? Certainly, it could be his absence, his sudden coolness and stonewalling. It could be how he refused to look at you, when you were in the room. Tried to hold his breath after he'd realized what he was doing.

He doesn't really listen to Lyla when she tries telling him things. He heard where you where, found out the room, and swiped a key before Lyla could finish talking about vital signs and behaviors. She knows to set his alerts to emergency only for the foreseeable future, because she's figured it out much quicker than he has, and she figures she'll at least spare herself the trouble. Gets Gabi set up with Jess for the night, and is on her way so she doesn't have to deal with what's about to go down.

He's surprised by the dresser in front of the door, when he tries to get in the first time. It's easy for him to move - he just lowers his center of gravity and pushes his way into the room, slamming the door shut before he can inhale.

The hotel room is nice, with a kitchenette and a small entry area with a couch and a television. The bedroom is just tucked out of sight. Exactly what he expected when he'd heard the hotel's name - he'd never been, but he recognized it.

And it's when he inhales, that he realizes why.

Your scent hits him hard and fast, chokingly sweet in the back of his throat in a way that makes his hindbrain roar. His pupils blow wide, and if he didn't have such a strong self control, he'd have torn the damn door off its hinges looking for you.

He remembers, in that moment, why he recognized the hotel. It was one that was best known for its handling of customers in heat and rut.

NSFW INTERLUDE

(We're gonna start with general headcanons and go back into the specifics of the scenario in a sec but it's all relevant fjasdkl;)

Miguel is a Dom-leaning switch, he prefers to be in control as often as possible, regardless of whether he's topping or bottoming. Nine times out of ten, he wants to fuck his partner until they're an incoherent, babbling mess, because he enjoys the power and control it gives him, enjoys the dynamic of it.

As he gets more comfortable with a partner, he's more willing to accept the idea of subbing, enjoying it more when he has someone he trusts behind the wheel, so to speak.

(Because yes, Alphas can be subs too - that's a whole thing I could get into and might if someone asks)

And Miguel, even normally, is already a possessive guy. He's needy, and stakes his claim, and when we're talking about abo Miguel?

Sheeeeeesh

The moment he scents you in the air, the moment it clicks in his brain that you're going through a rut or a heat, it goes straight to his dick.

He damn near loses it, fighting not to tear the door off its hinges as he stalks to your room. Your scent is so strong in the air that even though he knows he should turn around, he still at the very least wants to make sure you're okay. So the sight of you, face down, ass up, fingers pressing into yourself, he almost loses his damn mind.

His pretty little wife/husband/spouse coworker, his crush, is an omega. It's almost too good to be true, and he can feel his fucking fangs extend, his mouth watering as he stares at you. You're too blissed out to even realize he's there, slick dripping down your thighs like a fucking faucet... and his name is on your lips.

He could cum untouched, could die a happy, happy man after seeing this.

He has dignity, and self control though, even as the force of your hit heats him. He's genuinely concerned, a moment later, his instinct to breed to claim tampered down by his need to care.

You cling to him, hazy, feverish, and incoherent. You beg him to claim you, to mark you, to fuck you. Miguel wants to, he does... but he instead kicks his shoes off but otherwise stays fully clothed, his cock so hard it hurts as he grabs the closest bottle of water, and an ice pack, and climbs into your haphazard nest with you. He probably should have left by now, but instead he seats you against him, your back pressed to his chest, and he presses the ice pack to your forehead, ordering you to keep it there as he makes you drink water, sip by sip.

You whine, and beg, and squirm, but you obey.

He fucks you on his fingers, once he's gotten some water into you. Hard and fast, leaving you breathless, tense, until you cum all over his fingers, oversensitive as he fingerfucks you into another one, and another, arms like steel wrapped around your waist as one hand pounds into you, the other wrapped around your dick or circling hard on your clit. It's not enough to genuinely sate your heat, but it's enough to help. And he doesn't trust himself to put his own mouth to use - barely trusts himself to speak, even though most of what he growls into your ear is, strictly speaking, complete and utter nonsense as he's caught in the moment. Every time you cum, he praises you, telling you how good you are for it. How sweet you look, with tears streaming down your face, cumming so well for him.

When there's enough coherency for you to have a conversation (but not coherent enough to be mortified), Miguel is able to get the rough gist of the situation. He really can only piece together that the heat is going to be a strong one, that it came fast, and that you had panicked. There's a confession, to be had there. He agrees to help you through your heat, but only under the condition that you're his.

It's toxic, and of dubious consent at best, but he'll pull as many orgasms out of you as needed to keep you coherent enough to talk to him. He's helped an omega through a heat or two, and he knows what he's doing. He's not exactly clearheaded himself, in making the decision - but he does make sure that this is truly what you want before he proceeds.

When he's sure that it's not just the heat speaking, that you truly do care for him, that you want him to stay even after your heat has subsided, he allows himself to indulge.

Sympathy ruts are common, and it builds slowly inside of him as he indulges in his instincts. Holding you, kissing you, pressing his fingers inside of you over and over and over again until you pass out. He keeps you wrapped up in the nest, adding his shirt to the mix while you sleep, but not trusting himself to completely strip quite yet.

Miguel is an attentive alpha.

(While you sleep, he excuses himself from the nest to call his daughter, to assure her everything will be okay, and he just explains simply that you'd gotten sick, that you needed him for a bit, and that he'd be back once you were feeling better. He promises to call every night, and he works out a schedule with Peter B and Jess in the meantime.)

(When you overhear him, voice so soft, so protective, so gentle, it half makes you want to swoon, and half want to climb on his lap and fuck yourself stupid on his cock until he fills you up so you can give his daughter a sibling.)

This man is going to spend a good majority of his time pre-sympathy rut fucking you open on his fingers and his mouth. He wants to make sure you're ready, wants to make sure he can enjoy this for as long as possible.

By the end of it, he makes sure to fuck you, nice and steady, a hand on your throat and his lips on yours. He makes sure you're nice and coherent for it. He wants to make sure you remember it, when he claims you. When his (fucking horse cock, the dude's packing like ten to twelve inches which is great for my chubby bitches like me) dick fills you up so full that you're almost certain you'll break, hiccupping and sobbing as you keen and wail, the nest below you soaked as he fills you up. His fangs sink into your neck and you cum, right then, his hands grabbing your thighs so hard he's sure it will bruise. He fucks you through your orgasm, knot catching until it slips inside. He rubs your clit/tugs on your dick as he finally knots you, making sure you cum just one more time for me, cariño.

normal Miguel definitely has a claiming and breeding kink, so it's fucking intensified by ten when he's omegaverse Miguel... let alone when the man's subject to his rut. You'll be covered in scratches and bites and hickies by the time you're both coherent enough to function properly again.

Which... for Miguel, is a solid few hours of coherency at a time.

For you? You're only ever coherent in short bursts, and it's like the peak of your heat constantly for almost the full week.

This next bit just mostly borders on nsfw/has some nsfw parts so i'll put it at the end here before going back to sfw

Like I mentioned before, Miguel is a very attentive alpha.

He's going to fuck you seven different ways in an hour with his superhuman stamina, but he's also going to make sure to actually take care of you.

He makes sure you drink electrolytes and water in equal measure, makes sure you eat, and sleep, and he bathes you himself, carrying you into the shower and keeping you pressed against him as he massages your muscles and washes your hair and body with a soft cloth, using completely unscented soaps and shampoos so it doesn't overwhelm you. Presses bandages to your scrapes and bites so you'll heal faster. Cool cloths and ice packs and fever reducing medicine.

He finds he has to bribe you, during this time, even for the most basic tasks like eating and drinking, and he would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy having to plug you up with his cock just to get you to eat wasn't hot as hell. The fact that you need him so badly you'd rather forgo basic necessities... it's addicting. Granted, he doesn't actually let you - he's got enough control that he can make sure you're taken care of in all regards.

Back to SFW time!

After your heat itself passes, you're subject to the suppressant sickness that comes with it. Your fever has broken, but you're still nauseous and dizzy and fatigued as your body flushes everything out of your system.

Miguel is beyond pissed when he finds out why you're still sick.

It's reckless to not even have a natural heat once every six months, let alone taking your suppressants so solidly that you hadn't had one in years. If he'd known, he'd have said consequences be damned and would have bitten you the moment he walked through the door, and taken you to the hospital.

He doesn't care how embarrassed you are, when he packs all of your things back up into the sealable bags, and dresses you in his own clothing. He's almost out of his mind when he takes both of you back to HQ - only just remembering to take back corridors to the medic so they can check you over properly.

You've then got two spider people who are pissed, as the medic rants about how dangerous that was, how stupid it was that you did that, instead of just swallowing your pride and letting them help you control things. They order you on house arrest for a full month, to make sure your body can recover properly. No suppressants, no scent blockers (at least the medical kind) for a couple years, and only medicine that's medically necessary, and even then it has to be monitored more carefully.

Miguel lets the Medispider tear you a new one for a moment while he steps into the hallway, giving you privacy and space to figure things out with the doctor while he catches up with Gabi.

When you're done with the Medispider, it's not a question on if you're staying with Miguel or not - you really don't have a choice in the matter, he tells you. When you're recovered, you can decide if you want to move in or not, but until then he was going to personally keep an eye on you.

Gabi, who lacks the complete understanding of the why and the how behind it all, is just glad that the person they've been trying to scheme their father into confessing to is actually going to live with them. (Even if only for about a month.) She grins smugly when she realizes you smell like her dad.

Miguel lets you have pick of the house, when he carries you back to his beautiful, cozy suburban home. He leaves the proper tour up to Gabi, as he carries you both, letting Gabi tell you about everything excitedly. You stay in his bed (you two had claimed each other, and although Miguel does give you the option of your own room... you'd rather die than lose the comfort that comes with being around your mate.)

Miguel cooks properly for you while you stay with him and Gabi.

No more prepackaged meals, he sneers, instead making you chicken noodle soup from scratch, with bone broth and lots of vegetables. Breakfast every morning before he takes Gabi to school, tucks you in to sleep while he pops into the HQ to check on things. He's out of commission from missions while he cares for you, but he still makes sure things go smoothly. He's home by lunch, sometimes bringing you fast food instead of cooking so you can have your fill of a greasy burger or fries or something to sate the part of you that needs something unhealthy and indulgent. Holds you in his lap while you both eat, watching TV on the couch.

He finishes his work and goes on emergency-only mode when it's time to pick up Gabi from school. He tucks you into the passenger seat if you feel up to it, buckling you up himself and pressing a kiss to your lips, even though he doesn't need to. He knows you can buckle yourself up, and lets you do so when you insist, but it makes him happy to know he's taking measures to keep you safe.

He does force you to take a blanket with you, just in case though.

When all three of you get home, he makes dinner, sometimes with Gabi helping him, sometimes you, sometimes just himself. He has a pretty wide range of foods he ends up making, but it's primarily because they're foods he likes, or Gabi likes, and he learned to make them. He's a good cook, overall.

It's the best work-life balance he's had in a long time.

When you're better, he all but begs you to stay.

And god, how could you say no to him?

(Also for those who it matters for, if you do end up pregnant from the Heat Adventures he obviously loves kids and would love one with you, but if you don't feel ready/don't want to have kids other than Gabi, he absolutely respects it, and will talk about options with you. Granted, he'll be disappointed, but at the end of the day it's not something he CAN'T move past. Discusses birth control options with you almost immediately when the two of you get intimate again.)

[thevalleyoftriumph]

actually not to keep talking abt a topic hours later but i want to build off of one of my tags on that ultrakill post i rb'd last night [and im ONLY going to expand on one of my points, i will not be bringing up any other arguments in this post]

people love love love to say stuff like "pronouns =/= gender" [correct] and that you dont NEED to have specific pronouns such as he/him or she/her to be gay or lesbian [also correct], and while these two are great points that i agree with, it seems that these peoples support for this only goes as far as they/them users.

the absolute SECOND that a characters gender expression is canonically different from a "classic nonbinary" expression, its suddenly "up in the air" and "for your interpritation." and why is that?

specifically in the case of v1 and v2 from ultrakill; two canonically genderless/genderqueer/agender/nonbinray/what have you characters. v1 is VERY commonly seen as masc, and v2 is very commonly seen as fem.

v1 and v2 are also commonly headcannoned as gay and lesbian, respectively. theyre commonly shipped with characters seen as masc and fem. do you see what connections im beginning to see?

like it or not, by disregarding the canonical gender expression [or lacktherof] for these two, in order to fit them both into simple, binary, gendered boxes to also fit your specific sexuality headcanon - is in fact, an act of erasure! it comes off as INCREDIBLY iffy to fit nonbinary characters into a "masc nonbinary" and "fem nonbinary" binary.

and the fact is, i see people less often use other pronouns than it/its for these two for headcanon purposes or for fun or for projection, and more for SHIPPING purposes. there is a MASSIVE difference between adding onto a characters canonical pronouns for your own enjoyment and preference, and COMPLETELY changing them because you want a certain ship to be more gay, or whatever. an it/its user can be gay! it can also be a lesbian! it using it/its doesnt make it any less gay or any less of a lesbian, and it definitely doesnt make it any less nonbinary/genderqueer!

idk its just like. the machines in ultrakill [and most importantly v1 as the player character] being exclusively referred to as it/its is a major part of them and who they are. it is how they all express their gender CANONICALLY in the game. there are no other refferals no other pronouns, nothing. by disregarding this fact SO quickly, along with often only being for shipping reasons, you are showing that you Do Not Care for what the canon text is trying to tell you about the machines. im sorry but thats how it reads to me.

genuinely people love nonbinary characters until theyre the "wrong kind" of nonbinary, and all of a sudden jump through as many hoops as they physically can to disregard anything to do with that.

end of posts notes because if this post gets rb'd in any way or even breaches containment i know people will say stuff at me;

1] no, hakitas tweet about using "whatever you want" for the machines doesnt count IN THIS POST. nor does the discord. not everyone who plays the game is going to SEE either of those. while you could consider it canon [and i do! trust me! hakitas word is absolutely canon!] that doesnt mean it is ABSOLUTE, or the canon that is being INTENDED to be shown. most people are only going to see the in-game text, which is what is most important to me considering this post.

2] ive seen people making the argument that making nonbinary characters inhuman is like. bad rep or something idk im not doing the argument justice bc i dont remember it. but to that i say yes, i agree! we DO need more human nonbinary rep! boiling down every nonbinary person to be inhuman is Bad and you shouldnt instantly assume everyone whos nonbinary is Not Human! because that is really awful! do not misinterprite my stance here, i know what kind of website this is regarding reading comprehension! however comma that is not the point here. the machines using it/its isnt just from them being "inhuman nonbinary characters," it is a PART of the intended gender expression youre meant to gain from them. besides personally i adore inhuman nonbinary characters bc they kick ass and also im not human either. heart emoji.

3] no i am not saying you CANT listen to hakita and use different pronouns for the machines. at the end of the day hakitas word, regardless of if its in the game or not, is canon. im not your boss i cant tell you what to do. im not a fan of using he/him or she/her for Either v1 or v2 myself, but if it makes you happy, i literally cannot stop you. i hold no power over your decisions. i am once again saying, i am NOT tell you that you CANT do it.

just please. if your kneejerk reaction to being told "do what feels comfortable" about a characters pronouns, is to immediately assign the characters with it/its pronouns arbitrary masc/fem ones instead.. if that is your immediate kneejerk reaction, then PLEASE stop for a moment and consider why you feel that way specifically.

[swiftfootedachilles]

hiiii achilles!!!!!!! how are you today? i miss your gallavich hot takes so do you have something in mind? have a good day 🌷

well apparently my big gallavich hot take is them having a jewish wedding 😭

okay. hmmm, actual unpopular hot takes? i gotchu

i want more intersex headcanons (that are well-researched and not fetishizing intersex people!). i want more t4t mlm gallavich. and i DEFINITELY want more t4t trans!mickey nonbinary!ian gallavich. because amab people are just as transgender as anyone else even if they dont take hormones or drastically change their appearance or change their name. nonbinary people arent women lite and men lite, theyre nonbinary. and i think nonbinary!ian is so slay

ian does not enjoy bottoming. even when he consented to doing it with trevor, he didnt actually like it. he simply tolerated it

when staying with the gallaghers, ian and mickey are very brazen about their sex life and dont try to stay quiet or even close their door sometimes, BUT they wont fuck in common areas like the kitchen and living room unless it was on the couch and they were 1000% sure there was NO chance of any of the kids walking in on them. they wouldnt traumatize liam or franny like that (stfu s5 doesnt count bc they knew liam was too young to have memories yet 😭 (speaking of, why does nobody ever talk about the fact that liam was 2 years old for like 3 whole years 😭😭))

their "security" business as it is in the finale isnt very sustainable. it literally started as money laundering, and ian didnt know. i think he eventually finds out by accident thru kev or vee what mickeys original "security business" plan was, and he gets super pissed. but i think they could very easily turn it into a legal business. we see them starting to do that, by working with real dispensaries instead of the shady illegal one kev and vee have in the bar. nevertheless, id like to read more future fics where they grow or adapt the business, and even move on to a new business altogether! theyre not exactly the career-having type. i think change over time actually helps stabilize them

THEY NEED TO PAINT THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE. ITS STOLEN. WHY DONT THEY EVER PAINT IT ALL BLACK OR SOMETHING?? WHERE DID THEY GET THE NEW PLATES. DID THEY EVEN CHANGE THE PLATES?? the s4 writers would never let a scam have so many plot holes 😔 they wouldve SHOWED us mickey and his brothers getting new plates for the truck

ian gets a tattoo for mickey. youre telling me that after the surprise anniversary party, you think ian WOULDNT get mickey somehow immortalized on his body? WRONG. he definitely does. i dont think its his name over his heart. maybe something small on his wrist? or M on his ring finger💜 thats a fav headcanon of mine

they dont start a family until close to 40. the longer theyre married, the more they realize they have to catch up on. learning to live together long-term, paying off debts and bills, moving, vacations, reconnecting with old friends and family, being there for liam where theu couldnt for their other siblings when they were liam's age, watching their nieces and nephews often to gain more caretaking and parenting skills, medical issues, family emergencies. theres just a lot that takes up their time, and they become very comfortable being two before they ever try to become three

they nonseriously say shit like "i want a divorce" but they NEVER mean it. even when one says it as a joke or like in s11e3, the other will ask "did you really mean that? do you really want a divorce? do you think we'll ever get one?" and they end up having a rare super serious heart-to-heart about it. about what they think the future might hold - or at least, what they want it to hold. the longer they are with each other the more stable their relationship becomes. bickering is less common, big fights are less explosive and violent, and they learn to become comfortable with silence

[quiddityg]

KLOKTOBER 2023

Day 4: favorite headcanon

I don't rlly have any super favorite headcannons? So I just kinda tossed some general headcannons I have for each character lawlz

More about each character cause some of the headcannons are rlly vague lawlz

Nathan:

Hes on the Aromantic spectrum, where although he wants a romantic relationship, hes never rlly comfortable in relationships. Hes heteromantic though, where any romantic feelings he may have are only for women, and he generally find women way more attractive than men, but he still has those moments where he finds a guy rlly sexually attractive (cough cough pickles)

Also hes so autism coded it's like not even funny. He probably has the worst sensory issues when he eats chips and gets all that residue on his fingers.

Pickles:

Transgender!!!! I like to think he got top surgery as soon as money started rolling in for the band, and he probably also got bottom surgery also so he can fuck groupies without having to worry about them outing him or smth. That or hes a classic strap on man, which would also be super real of him.

This man is totally bi, he doesnt rlly have any major preference, but just goes for women more often.

I also like to think hed got ADHD but thats also me projecting like a madman cause mwehehe

Toki:

I like to think he's pansexual but like, kinda doesnt rlly realize it? Like, he generally finds all sorts of people attractive, but doesnt elly act on anything, especially with other men cause he thinks it's too gay or something. All around he doesnt have a preference, and his attraction to people isnt bound by their gender.

I also like to think hes nonbinary, in the sense where he doesnt consider himself to be innately masculine or feminine at his core. That being said, hes like never heard of nonbinary people before, and hes comfortable enough as is, and knows who he is that he doesnt rlly care to put labels onto himself in that way. If he cared about pronouns, hed probably go by he/they/she

Hes also totally autistic, maybe audhd but idk

Skwisgaar:

I'm sorry, I cant see him as anything else but straight. I mean, I could see him fooling around with other guys, but I dont think he would have any real sexual attraction to them, it would just be for fun. (I know skwistok shippers are not happy with me about this but IM SORRY I JUST CANT SEE HIM DOIN THATT)

That being said, I also kinda see him falling under the aromantic spectrum, specifically where he may experience minor amounts of romantic attraction, but sees no real importance in either engaging in it, or being in a romantic relationship in general.

The dyslexia bit is kinda canon knowing how he has music dyslexia with sheet music, but I also like to think he struggles with reading in general. That being said, hes probably rlly good at counting knowing how amazing he is at guitar.

Murderface:

How I see him, hes a closeted bisexual, and I mean CLOSETED!! Hes probably entirely oblivious about everyone elses queer identities and sees his attraction to men as an aberration of sorts. I also like to think he may find men more attractive, but would never admit it as long as he lives.

Charles:

I fought demons here cause I legit see Charles as just, gay. BUT, after some thought I was like, erm, maybe he would take interest in some women?? So I just said he was bi with a major preference for men.

I also see Charles falling under the asexual spectrum, specifically where he does experience minimal sexual attraction, and isnt against having sex, but he doesnt see any importance it and is way too fucking busy. He has better things to do, basically.

[big-greer]

I know i dont usually post stuff like this, for the longest time if you had asked me what my gender was id say i was a regular guy..but in truth i say that but i never really felt like i "Fit" with the term guy. Like in my brain whenever i think of myself i never really think specifically about being a male. Before i just assumed "oh its cause i am one, obviously i wouldnt consciously think of that. its sort of a given" but looking back that clearly wasnt the case, always joked how i barely counted as a guy and most people either would laugh like its a joke but a few days ago a coworker asked why..and i sort of froze up cause i had never really stopped and asked myself why? Like i knew i didnt act like a normal guy, i didnt think like one, i never had that attachment to the title of being male. so i always felt this disconnect from manhood, and even when my father tried to teach me to be a man it always felt like i was just an outsider looking in and learning a lesson through a window or something. he tried all kinds of stuff you would expect a "manly" guy to know, hell he even taught me how to track through a forest (would cut notches in trees and we walked from the top of a mountain to the bottom and had me lead us back following the marks he made. yeah dad take your like 14 year old to the fucking bottom of a mountain and make me track cut marks like some legendary hunter lol). and he would always explain what manhood was and i just....it never connected to me you know? i always chocked that up to the fact my dad was never really around (after he and ma divorced he sorta slowly dissapeared from my life till he was dead one day) and so i figured i wasnt like a regular guy cause i was raised by like, 95% woman only so i thought that might be why? but as ive come to realize it isnt that and ive just never really vibed with the idea of being just a guy, its never clicked for me.

Now dont get me wrong, the idea of using she/her pronouns actually is uncomftorable to me so now i feel like im sort of just floating here? in between gender in my own sort of like...little world and im worried about doing it right. Yeah i know "oh i want to do good at gender which is a logical and reasonable thing that can be done" i know i know. But like, i dont want to wear makeup and dresses and stuff (though nail polish would be nice, perhaps a good black would be cool.) and i feel like i dont particularly want to wear any womans clothing? i like guy clothes, there comfy, fit me nice, and for obvious reasons they are all i got lol. Also i like having my goatee and facial hair so thats also a thing. i just worry that after browsing the nonbinary tag that cause of stuff like this i wouldnt be good at being nonbinary, or that i would do it wrong. OH also that i would still be comfortable with people using he/him pronouns as well as they/them but wouldnt feel comftorable with somebody using she/her ones (perhaps this is just cause he/him pronouns are all ive known my entire life and thats why im more comfy with them). yeah all that makes me worried id be doing nonbinary wrong, which i know is a dumb sentence cause nobody can do gender "wrong" and that its a personal thing that is up to only the person whose gender its about feelings on the situation. but that lingering doubt is still in my mind, that i will be some sort of fraud or not ACTUALLY nonbinary and stuff. cause lord knows alot of tumblr views nonbinary as just "WOMAN 2" and if you arnt some hyper androgynous person you arnt actually nonbinary and i know i know, i shouldnt care what fuckin morons on tumblr say.

But gender stuff is new to me, VERY knew. Lord knows i still have strange feelings towards being ace and sometimes worry im not "ACE" enough to be considered ace. so im def still fighting some internal demons about this stuff. But having good friends around is helping out alot and i cant even imagine how id handle dealing with this sort of stuff alone (cause lord knows what little family i got left wouldnt be the most...supportive) anyway uh, gender is fuckin wild and confusing and stupid and simple and everything and nothing and lord does it give me a headache.

[genderkoolaid]

@defending-harmony I'm pretty sure anon is trying to include transfems. I think their point is "feminism ISNT for cis men"

But like. as I said, trying to say feminism can only be for people assigned male who are "female-aligned" is wildly exorsexist. It alienates people assigned male who aren't transfem or female-aligned and essentially groups them in with cis men. It forces them to identify with womanhood and disidentify with any kind of manhood in order to deserve protection and acknowledgement of their suffering! By the very nature of this rhetoric it tells nonbinary people assigned male that they can either be cis men (evil, dangerous, undeserving of support) or trans women, and that any genderqueer identity they have ultimately falls on one side or the other.

& there's no way to actually fix that statement because trying to limit feminism to any identity group is doomed to fail. even if on paper it seems fine, trying to limit feminism always ends up in certain people being shoved aside because they are assumed to not suffer as much as The Real Victims. the only way for feminism to be truly liberatory is by refusing to limit its reach and its vitality to any group. trans people of all people should be aware of how dangerous the idea this idea is since its whats been used by cisfeminists to exclude us for decades but for some reason we've all decided that the best way to deal with this exclusion is to figure out which groups of trans people can be the sacrificial lambs while the rest get temporary protection by being close enough to cis women to count as oppressed

feminism is for afab and female-alligned people 🫶🏼

- sincerely, a trans man

so there's multiple things that i could say to this but im just gonna point out how exorsexist this is. me when i could have never thought about abinary people assigned male in my life 🫶

[fatalism-and-villainy]

if you're comfortable talking about it, can you elaborate (maybe in a very general sense) on how those posts are messing up their discussion of the nb experience? I'm curious and I also don't want to make the same kind of mistakes.

Sure, I don't mind explaining further. I don't think I can do so in a general sense, though - being on Pillowfort has made me much more inclined towards using specific examples. I think that's not really the done thing on tumblr, both because it's hard to link to things here when URLs can change, and because it's tacitly considered against etiquette (or, least, I know I instinctively flinch away from doing so). But I think a lot of discussions would be less inflammatory here if people were more specific about what they were complaining about, and I think this is a topic that benefits from close reading some examples, because a lot of it is subtle stuff in the wording that betrays a lot of broader and more pernicious assumptions.

So I'm not including these examples to chastise anyone, I'm just using them because they're useful illustrations of a bigger problem.

My post that prompted this, for context:

I have seen two posts in the last few days that conflate how nonbinary people get read by others with nonbinary people’s own personal relationship to gender and the nonbinary label. I’m so so sick of this.

Alright, post #1 (and I did find a thread where some people were pointing out some of the same issues I have with it, but I saw it reblogged with this addition on its own, so it's worth pointing out). OP's post:

if you call a nonbinary person cis bc they don't perform androgyny to a level you approve of i'm omw with a big hammer to shatter your kneecaps

Note the "perform androgyny to a level you approve of" phrasing - this is about others' perception of nonbinary people and of what constitutes androgyny. Now look at this addition:

This is incredibly important to remember. Nonbinary isnt just a middle ground or a third gender. Its not being in the binary. Thats it. That means something different to every nb person. So maybe someone does lean a bit more into their assigned gender at birth, they’re still nonbinary and calling them cis just because they arent preforming for you is transphobic- Yes even if you are trans too.

I agree that nonbinary people can have some kind of identification with their assigned gender, and that this doesn't negate their being nonbinary or trans - but, crucially, that's a different topic from what the OP was about. The OP was about how people look to others, and how they meet others' standards for what a nonbinary person should look like.

And what counts as "performing" androgyny is not only very subjective, individually and subculturally, but also full of double standards. There are people who would consider simply having visible breasts, or not trying to hide my body shape, as "presenting" as a woman, or not being androgynous, even if my clothes or hairstyle would be read as "masculine" on a cis man. (Side note: the way I often wear my hair is something I've mainly seen on men, and some nonbinary people as well, but because it's long on the top a lot of people would think "feminine". The gendering of hair is weird.) Similarly, I like wearing brightly coloured lipstick. This isn't because my identity is at all "feminine" or aligned with womanhood - I just like bright colours on my lips 😂. Additionally, there are nonbinary people who might get read as "androgynous", or whose gender might be harder to visually sort into a binary category, who do, in fact, feel some affiliation with their assigned gender. These are separable categories.

While the addition is alright on its own as an observation, I think adding it here actually undermines the point of the OP. The original post argues that others' perceptions are not the determiner of whether someone else "counts" as trans, and the addition, even while in agreement that nonbinary people who aren't "androgynous enough" count as trans... also falls into using others' perceptions as a determiner of another's identity.

The second post is here:

even spicier take: “non-binary” means a thousand different things to a thousand different people and therefore anyone of any sexuality could theoretically be attracted to a non-binary person in some capacity, so if you’re gay and someone you’re attracted to says, “i’m non-binary,” you don’t actually have to redefine your entire identity, you can just drink a cup of sleepytime tea and go right on being gay and into non-binary people.

So, this starts out with "nonbinary means a thousand different things to a thousand different people", which leads me to think that this is about relationship compatibility - i.e., that there are nonbinary people whose personal version of "nonbinary" doesn't preclude gay relationships or gay-identified partners. But the following statement implies a slightly different angle - "therefore anyone of any sexuality could theoretically be attracted to a nonbinary person in some capacity." The "therefore" doesn't follow for me, because "being attracted to someone" is very different from relationship compatibility, and doesn't have anything to do with how a nonbinary person self-identifies or wants to be socially positioned.

I think this sort of confusion is part of what makes a lot of conversations about "attraction to nonbinary people" so fraught - because there are several different scenarios implied in how this post is written. Are we talking about the possibility of a gay person actually forging a relationship with a nonbinary person? Are we talking about seeing someone in passing that you think is attractive who turns out to be nonbinary? The phrasing "if... someone you're attracted to says, 'i'm nonbinary'" implies this is a scenario in which the attraction started before learning that person's gender. But is this just a passing crush, or someone you happened to notice, or is it meant to be someone you're already in a relationship with? Because those are two different scenarios! If we're talking about the possibility of a gay person having a relationship with a nonbinary person, then what being nonbinary "means" to that person is relevant. But if we're talking about a gay person just being attracted in passing to a person who turns out to be nonbinary, then the attraction itself does not say anything about, or having anything to do with, that nonbinary person's self-conception.

Look, here's the thing. It's pretty inevitable that we all visually misclassify people from time to time, even cis people. Attraction is also internal and does not affect the other person at all. I don't think the possibility that someone you happen to find attractive might not actually be your preferred gender, or might potentially find your attraction distressing, need be a source of scrupulosity - just pay attention to their signals in your actual interactions with them and treat them how they've implied or explicitly stated they'd like to be classed. Similarly, I think sexual orientation is about patterns and general trends, and one person falling outside that pattern doesn't necessitate changing one's identity. But that says fuck-all about the identity or feelings of the nonbinary person in question. The idea that it does has the (probably unintentional) implication that a gay woman finding me attractive means that I must be "woman-aligned" or comfortable being classed that way in relationships, which is not at all the case.

Like, the separate implications the wording here in this post are all points I agree with: some nonbinary people find "gay" as an identity or social position to be compatible with their conception of themselves, and being mistaken about someone's gender or having an exception to your general pattern of attraction doesn't necessitate an identity crisis. But is it clear how treating one of those things as naturally flowing from the other has troubling implications? Nonbinary people vary widely in how we want to be classed, or feel comfortable being classed, in the context of relationships. But other people's involuntary feelings of attraction are absolutely not a comment on that. And treating them as if they are is incredibly harmful.

[butch-bakugo]

I'm just asking since you can say it, I'm not going to say it but I've seen people discuss how trans women can reclaim fag- which even if I am trans, I'm not a trans woman so I have no experience with that. But I haven't seen it the opposite way round?

I'm not taking this as a way to say it- I'm just curious, is the history of D^^ke one that excludes trans men from it's usage ? Is it one that those who use it aren't sure on? Once again I'm genuinely not here to argue or say we should use it, I'd just like to see what's happening and what those of us here that like women feel about it.

Thank you and sorry about the long ask

This is... Kind of complex.

A binary trans man who isnt attracted to women shouldnt be saying or identifying as a dyke. However, if they vibe with the wlw/nblw communities and arent just a full binary man with no nonbinaryism in place, they can be a dyke.

The whole premise behind dykeism and what defines a dyke is a masculine person who isnt a cisgender man and has a prominent attraction to women. Of course, femme and feminine dykes are the exception to the masculine portion of the identity but in general, most homophobes only go out of their way to call masc wlw/nblw dykes.

Its really deep in the idea of how, as a trans person who is attracted to the opposite gender, your often mistaken as a gender nonconforming gay person. Theres also all the gender confusion that comes with nonbinarism.

Like.. Most of the time, a transmasc wlw/nblw/mlw is gonna be called a dyke for looking masc and being with women. Same for transfem wlm/nblm/mlm will be called fags for looking fem and being with men.

So yeah, if a transmasc nonbinary or nonbinary trans man loves women and feels at home in the dyke community, who am i or anyone else to tell them no? Most of them were butch lesbians before this. Theres even an identity for those who are both a straight trans man and a nonbinary butch lesbian called cuspers. ( cuspers also cover people who identify as both a straight trans woman and a nonbinary gay man)

Fluidity of gender really fucks things around and it gets dicey. I can personally attest to the confusion and this idea of singular identitiy alliances( like you should only really exist in the wlw community vs the mlm communtiy and bs like that) as someone who is both a man and woman and loves both men and women.

Historically speaking however, trans men who love women were included in dyke rallies and dyke events.

Final answer though: as long as the trans man is also nonbinary/isnt strictly male, loves women and feels a significant connection to the wlw/nblw communities enough to count themselves among other dykes, i see no issue with them saying or even identifying as a dyke.

The only people who genuinely care, usually like to police nonbinary lesbians identities and pronouns. They are sus at least and transphobic and racist at most.

[edgyvalentinediscourse]

hi this is basically just my alt where i talk about discourse/controverzy bc i dont rlly want my main (@edgyvalentineaemogai) to be all negativv n such ykno

keep in mind this blog is rather unfiltered,, meaning that i might cuss a lot & may even use slurs (only ones i can reclaim dw!!)

❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅

the ❄️ - sweet. tag is a tag i use when reblogging to good shit, such as people supporting neopronouns.

the 🔥 - butthead. tag is a tag i use when reblogging & responding to bad shit, such as people complaining abt neopronouns.

❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅

my viewpoints

neopronouns/xenogenders are valid (including neurogenders)

nonbinary vincians/lesbians are valid

pronouns do not equal gender

self diagnosis (with research beforehand) is allowed

dysphoria is not needed to be trans

transandrophobia/transmisandry is real & trans men should be allowed to have a word for their oppression

age regression/pet regression is valid (those who fetishize it do not count)

reclaiming slurs is valid

cisphobia/heterophobia isnt a fucking thing

endogenic systems/demo systems/tulpas are not valid

proshippers/comshippers/profic is not valid

exclusion/skepticism ov any kind is asshole behavior

cringe culture is dead

z00phx1ia/p3d0phxl1a is abhorrent as fuck whether you act on it or not

truscum/transmedz/terfs are assholes

transrace/transabled/trans(insert minority that isnt trans ppl) are invalid

people who fetishize regression are invalid

you can't be racist towards white people

narcissistic abvxe/bpd abvxe/(misunderstood disorder) abxve isn't real

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dni for my main also applies here unless youre trying to learn/see another perspectivv or something

[rjalker]

#i think 'attraction to nonbinary people' is impossible to define in general just b/c when people say 'attraction to women/men' they#they typically mean attraction to stereotypically feminine/masculine secondary sex characteristics #and there are no stereotypical nonbinary sex characteristics bc nonbinary. is not a sex and there isnt REALLY a stereotypical appearance#either# so like whenever i see one of those braindead mlm accs posting about how they're only attracted to men and nb people i scratch my head a bit #like are you ACTUALLY attracted to men and nonbinary people or are you attracted to this one single demi-boy you met once who presents male #idk i guess you could apply the same argument to sexuality in general bc of the breadth of gender expression/sex characteristics across #both binary genders but i feel like whenever people reach hard to include nonbinary people in sexualities it reeks of 'i think nonbinary is#secret third gender that is as easily defined as male or female instead of an umbrella term to describe countless experiences' #and also 'i think simply calling yourself gay w/no modifiers is inherently transphobic/exorsexist' which is an even worse take to have tbh

So have you like, figured out how not to be exorsexist and bimisic yet or do you still agree with this post which shows up as one of the first results in the "exorsexist stereotypes" tag?

Because this is just really really fucking blatant exorsexism and bimisia on too many levels to count.

i used to follow this dude who called himself bisexual and like openly posted bi pride stuff and then would turn around and post about how he isn’t attracted to women at all and would never date one and he would sometimes get well meaning anons asking why he identifies as bisexual if he isn’t interested in women and he would come at them like they killed his dog or something he would be like you fucking idiot bisexual means attraction to two or more genders and men and nonbinary people are two different genders and that means that if you’re attracted to men and nonbinary people then you’re bisexual and not gay regardless of if you’re attracted to women or not. and it never made a lick of sense no matter how often he repeated it

[puzzlebones]

Knowing your partner well makes writing together a lot easier!

BASICS- OOC

Name: Aoi

Age: 33 

Preferred pronouns: She/her But I honestly dont care and wont bite your head off if you call me the wrong pronoun XD Also....does Goblin or Corn Cryptid count as a pronoun? 

Zodiac sign: Aquarius

Taken or Single: Single and not really looking tbh

Three Facts:

1: I know a fair bit about barnyard fowl :/ at one point we raised and even hatched things like Chickens, ducks, guinea fowl, turkey. Ducks were probably my favorite except they are always messy xD

2: One of the first blogs I had on tumblr waaaay back in 2012-2013 ish was an ask/RP blog for Sonic.exe lol I made a ton of art for it too lol. To this day I sometimes see my exe art going around and it slaps me with whiplash xD arts old af. This one I see around A LOT. and this one I like better

3: I started this blog with every intention of it being for JUST normal UT Paps, it wasnt going to be a super serious blog, it was just going to be a nice little blog I could joke around with. Fast forward like a year and its become a mass collection of the various papyri with all the AU’s >:/ I aint even mad though, the Swaps are some of my favorites now.

Experience: Like all together? I RP-ed for a little bit back in the day, then stopped for a real long time. Came back RP-ed a bit, then left for a bit, then came back again. IDK if we count when I first started and just kept going...since like 2007-2008 ish. If you take out the breaks in between, its more then 5 years I guess.

How’d you start: Started on Myspace, eventually I made my way here.

MUSE PREFERENCES

Female or Male or Nonbinary: I notice I tend to have a lot of Male Muses...so I guess male lol

Favorite face: Mun FC? IDK I been using Vaporeon as mine for a bit cause its my favorite pokemon

Least favorite face: Man IDK I find it kinda weird to use RL people as your Faceclaim

WRITING PREFERENCES

Fluff, Angst or Smut: Its whatever, but lately Ive been leaning more towards Fluff....since random shenanigans isnt an option >:/

Plots or Memes: Im fine with both, It really depends on the muse thats active if Im honest

Are you like your muse(s): LMAO no. Well...if really depends on which version of paps were talking about here. I tend to put a little bit of myself in each of my muses...but really the only ones that Im like or close to, would be Orange and Purple

[lesbiradshaw]

Genuinely interested in what you think about Bucky being perceived as female-coded in some parts of the fandom. I read that thread years ago and agreed with because it sounded logical, but now I'm not so sure. Recently found out about the existence of this Tony Stark meta essay called "Tony Stark as the most female-coded superhero" and they use the same arguments: loss of agency, playing the damsel in distress role more often than their counterpart, etc. I can't take "fm-coded" seriously anymore

oh boy ...

idk how long this will end up but to preface whatever we do end up with: 1) im a nonbinary lesbian so my perception on what it means to be a woman and femininity in general is not going to be what a lot of other peoples is and 2) im a few months out from getting a degree in gender studies. take that for what you will. no i will not be arguing about this in my inbox.

to be frank, in my opinion, bucky being female coded is bullshit. not only is it bullshit, i have seen it used as a weapon by so many white women and terfs that even if it were true, i wouldnt care! whoever came up with the term “woobify” (which i have most often seen used in reference to how tony stark is treated) needs to tell bucky stans that they aren’t exempt. a lot of them see bucky being a victim as something that needs a continuation into every other part of his life, hence why he’s so often put into these weird dynamics with his ships and given traits he’s never displayed on screen.

i keep thinking of disclaimers to make in anticipation of people coming to my inbox crying so here’s another: if you are a woman or someone who feels a close connection to certain parts of womanhood, me saying bucky isnt woman coded in no way takes away from you identifying with him or parts of his story. that is personal. a woman’s personal relation to him is not reliant on “woman coding” as i’ve seen a lot of white women and terfs suggest, not does it strengthen the existence of such coding. coding is created within the original media, not within the fandom.

i also just realized ive been using the term woman coded rather than female coded, but i think subconsciously there is a reason for that that ties into one of my main points pretty well: the mcu stan’s definition of “female” coding relies on stereotypes, not about female roles, but about what it means in their opinion to be a woman. the issue with this is they take traits they think only exist in (cishet) women and use them to deem these (cishet) male characters as woman coded when in fact these traits are not exclusive to women and enforce weird standards upon people who are women that might not be cis or het or share these traits!

tony stark being short and bucky having long hair is not what would make them woman coded. bucky being rescued by a man while woozy is not what would make him woman coded. bucky being submissive to pierce when LITERALLY BEING BRAINWASHED is not what would make him woman coded. and perhaps a harsh wake up call: bucky’s story hinging around loss of agency issues and trauma in no way shape or form is what would make him woman coded. does it perhaps make him easier for many women to relate to? yes. but is this something exclusive to women? no. a vast majority of trauma victims are going to relate to him, and chalking up trauma to being something female makes me feel really funny.

i know exactly what thread youre talking about lmfao and its right up there on my shit list next to the childlike bucky post. theyre actually very similar now that i think about it ... but anyways. now that ive listed my woes about what doesnt make a character woman coded, what actually would! AND HERE IS WHERE WE GET INTO AN ACTUAL CASE OF WOMAN CODING! mr prequel series anakin skywalker aka my shakespearean downfall dilf. why is he seen as a valid example of woman coding? i will tell you.

the thing about woman coding is that its meant to subvert heteronormative tropes while remaining self aware of that to exploit and emphasize the change. DO YOU HEAR ME? SELF AWARE! anakin is given many of these stupid stereotypical traits i mentioned before, but they arent reliant on physical appearance at all. they are reliant on roles. padme is the levelheaded senate leader, the one with power and stability, while anakin is hotheaded and frankly a bit whimsical while he struggles for his own type of power and control. another classic example of woman coding (which i actually wrote a paper on last semester in my men and masculinities class) is heathcliff from wuthering heights, whose counterpart to his coding is cathy. both men have that whimsicality in common that contrasts heavily with how we would expect them to act. bucky does not act like them at all.

the reason that this is different from bucky and steve’s ‘damsel in distress’ argument is the self awareness i mentioned before. not to mention the weird heteronormative standards being applied as requirements for their gay relationship to be seen as valid because it “fits the narrative” but .. anyways.

anakin and heathcliff both have their subverted traits played up in a way that shows off how ridiculous the women usually written in their roles are forced to act. its tongue in cheek, because woman coding is not only about individual traits, but about how the character interacts with the story because of this as a whole. bucky is often seen as woman coded because he is put into these situations where he is “rescued” by someone that half his stans see as his love interest (steve my baby im sorry) when hes really only rescued maybe twice? at azzano and from the water when the helicopter crashed. only one of those is a real damsel in distress situation. all of the others are cases where hes fighting his own way out ????? bucky doesnt just sit around waiting for a “real man” to get off his ass as that post suggested but i digress.

anyways. mcu stans lack any self awareness that would be required even if bucky and tony were woman coded. calling them woman coded does not count as self awareness! the real self awareness comes with recognizing that woman coding doesnt actually make these characters women and it doesnt mean they forever belong in these “female” roles. mcu stans take the stereotypes they pick out at face value and use them to say “look! bucky is a bottom!” or to continue taking away his agency by ignoring all of his other actions and traits that dont fit in to this mold theyve made around the idea that he needs a man to save him or boss him around. his story as a whole is the only thing that would make him woman coded and seeing as there is no self awareness of this shown, no attempts to subvert, he displays little to no traditionally feminine traits, and loss of agency on its own is not something that only applies to women ...

in short: in my opinion, bucky is not woman coded. mcu stans just like rolling with stereotypes that rely around cis bodies and straight relationships. the end.

[unambiguouslybi]

Hello! Recently I discover that I'm probably bigender but I have a question

Is bigender on the label of trans, genderfluid or Nonbinary? I'm don't know a lot about labels but I get confused when people say that bigender is a nb label or is a type of genderfluid

I hope you can answer my question and thank you from having this blog for all bisexual and bigender people <3

While personal definitions may vary widely, I use the following:

Nonbinary = identifying as anything that isnt 100% man or 100% woman. Can also be its own 3rd gender, though most folks use it as an umbrella term for all genders outside the binary

Trans = identifying as anything other than your assigned gender at birth

Genderfluid = experiencing more than one gender in a way that shifts between the genders, or is fluid. Some bigender people experience their genders in a fluid way, but others (like myself) experience their genders in a static or unchanging way

So with that:

bigender is identifying outside the gender binary (not solely 100% woman or solely 100% man) so yes it is nonbinary

Almost nobody* is assigned nonbinary at birth, so all nonbinary identities can be referred to as trans identities

Coincidentally, genderfluid is a type of nonbinary identity, as being more than just a man or woman is outside the gender binary.

These definitions come with the important caveat that it defines who "counts" as a particular label, but does not require people to use the label. As I've expressed before, it's taken me a while to feel comfy using nonbinary and even longer to use trans to describe my bigender self, despite knowing that I counted as both.

-Mod Eli

*update: some countries such as Chile do have a non-binary gender designation of "indeterminate sex" for intersex folks. However, in the same way that female isn't always equivalent to woman and male isn't always equivalent to man, intersex conditions aren't always equivalent to nonbinary trans. Personally I'd consider this being assigned intersex at birth rather than being assigned nonbinary at birth, but that's not my call to make. Regardless, I believe that intersex folks always have a place in the queer community if they want to be there

[nothorses]

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, and I worry about saying this off anon but I want to actually, be a face as I do. When I came out I knew I wasn't cis, and I was lucky enough to have the support of two wonderful trans partners, but I had an extremely hard time finding my place in the trans community. I am pro MOGAI and new, hyperspecific terms because I know how important it can be to want to put a name, a flag, and individual pride to your identity. 1/?

I switched my own terms quite a lot, from demigirl to genderfae to genderflux to where I am now, genderfluid. But I remember there was a moment, because I was so sure I was only female aligned, where I thought for just a moment that I might be a boy, and I was terrified, I didnt want to be a boy, I didnt want to be "that trans." Like every trans person, I struggled with internalized transphobia, not feeling valid or true enough in my identity, 2/15

But that dreadful feeling of being Scared of being a boy is something I think about a lot, and something I think is truly telling. I'll admit I primarily (only) use tumblr because social media honestly isnt my thing, so I can only speak to what I've seen here, but I remember seeing so little about trans men, other than the occasional mention in broad positivity posts, the even rarer info about binding or passing, but I did see how much people hated men. 3/15

It was always implied to be about cis men, I've been spared the more modern issues regarding overt hatred of trans men, but I saw the constant anger and vitriol and genuine hatred for men. And I realize now I wasnt just scared of being "too trans" I was scared of being hated. So I made myself nonthreatening, I called myself a boy, I performed femininity to an even higher, though subversive standard, because I was still so scared of being a man. The enemy. The oppressor. 4/15

It took many more months to dare say I wanted to call myself a man, and even then I was scared, in the comfort and safety of my girlfriend's company. I felt dirty saying it, and I still do. I always only dare to refer to myself as a trans man, instead of just as a man. And I do want to sidetrack for a moment and say my relationship to gender, as a genderfluid person, is admittedly more complex than just when I feel this way, in other ways people are also particularly hateful towards, 5/15

But even with those other facets, and my fear of being open in them, pale in comparison to my relationship with masculinity. Because when I did come out and admit to myself that sometimes, I am not a woman, or nonbinary, I am a man, I became more aware of things. I exited wonderland, so to say. Suddenly I became so much more aware of how much people simply did not care about me or people like me, and especially not our problems or concerns. 6/15

I saw how invisible I was, and worse than that, I saw a very subtle malice. The only mention of trans men were in those broad positivity posts including everyone under the trans umbrella, or in the rare case something was positive exclusively for trans men, it was always reblogged with "dont forget trans women/enby people" tacked on, I remember once I looked in the trans tag and counted how many posts it took to find one exclusively about trans men that didnt mention binding 7/15

I got into the forties. Because on other posts, I would see people make passive aggressive remarks about how "trans men are talked about too much" or "there's all these resources for trans men, what about trans women" and I wanted to know on what earth the people who said that were living on, because the only, and I mean the only thing people tend to talk about in regards to trans men is how to safely bind, and rarely, the effects of HRT. 8/15

This happened a while ago, but I remember seeing a number of posts on my dash about how much representation trans men receive. I believe there was a panel about trans people, where a majority of the panelists were trans men, and trans women were less represented than them. They encouraged people to complain, said we received too much attention, and pointed at mythical trans male rep in media that in reality, I could count on one hand. I remember being so angry and passionate about it 9/15

Now im honestly just tired. I dont feel accepted by the trans community, and even the trans male community is iffy (I fit in amongst mogai people most, but I cant deny trumeds are particularly prevalent, and it wore on me), and it's so tiring to have every post made by trans men for trans men have to be preambled by belittling themselves and downplaying their own suffering. I just want to exist in peace, but I feel like that's too much to ask. 10/15

I've reached a point of exhaustion that I have become entirely apathetic to my own gender, what was once a deeply important aspect of my identity. I feel disconnected from it, and as a consequence from my own body. I don't bother examining it anymore because I can't feel it, as someone who suffers from dissociation, I feel dissociated from it in order to protect myself, something I was once so openly proud about. 11/15

Im scared to try and push for transition, for my own personal reasons, but now on top of those Im terrified of being silenced and belittled and hated for something that should make me happy. I've tried so hard not to feed into the lateral violence and become embittered towards trans women, because that's not fair, but I won't lie and say it hasnt been hard when I have seen more than I ever would've liked be so willing to ignore or outright throw their brothers under the bus 12/15

And of course there are even more who do show their support for their brothers, and for that im thankful, but this invisibility effects how I perceive everything. I feel like I've been pushed back into the closet, I say im trans because I know I'm not cis but I don't even know who I am, what my place is, and I'm scared to explore because I'm scared that who I am will be violently rejected by the people meant to support me. I want to be free to even explore who I am. 13/15

I wish people would listen to my experiences and what I have to say, but in every microaggression every act of ignoring I feel silenced. Trans men are viewed as predatory, just in a different way; trans men are fetishized and have chasers; trans men face higher rates of violence and sexual assault for being trans men; research about transmasc transition is almost nonexistent, and new, better surgeries are not even thought about; transmasc history is erased and silenced. 14/15

I, feel like im rambling at this point, and I'm sorry I've been so longwinded, I just. I want to thank you, for creating a space where I can speak my truth, because before finding your blog I didn't think anyone would care. I feel like I have so much more to say but honestly im scared, and too tired, and have said enough for now. I just want this feeling of loneliness to go away and hopefully I'll find a way to accept myself. Thank you for listening to me, and giving me a platform to speak 15/15

(Edited the numbers for accuracy)

Thank you for trusting me with this, and to other folks: I think this is an important narrative to listen to and share!

[gendertrenderuwu]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Mental illness is not gender.

Yes, I would say that my aspergers influences my understanding of gender.

No, I do not think that we need a fucking uwuspecialsnowflake tumblr gender.

Please stop with your nounself bullshit. People like you make real nonbinary and autistic people like myself look like jokes. Actually. I've lost quite a few friends by this convo:

M=me t=friend

M: So guys, I'm genderfluid! :)

T: Lmfao, stop. You're just a cis kid trying to be special. "gEnDeRfLuId" is not real. It's a fucking tumblr bullshit gender like "daimosgender". Or "clovergender".

M: :(

M: Anyways, I'm also autistic!

T: LMAOOOO yeah uh huh, and I have cancer! Thing is, neither of us know that! XD

PLEASE DUDE. STOP. I BEG OF YOU. PRETTY, PRETTY PLEASE. I WILL USE YOUR NEOPRONOUNS. BUT I REFUSE TO ACCEPT YOUR NARCISSISTIC EMOJISELF NOUNSELF BULLSHIT. JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE A CIS KID AND MOVE ON. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.

WE GOT EM BOIS

honey have you thought about how transphobic people always have and always will find reasons to invalidate us?

First of they arent your friends if they dont accept you, second Im pretty sure they have never seen my blog so it cant be my personal fault,just as it isnt anyones fault but the transphobes themself, they just love to blame us for their bigotry...

Also on a different side note: when did I ever say that mental illnesses are genders? Heck I dont even use any terms that could indicate that like...darling no one says that mental illnesses/neurodivergentcies are genders we only say that they impact the way we see/feel gender.

Anyways breath,eat a mars bar, count to ten and remember to not attack random people who did nothing but to express themself.