#this is about a tweet someone made on x the everything app

[dontbadgerme2233]

It's so nice being a Moon Knight fan when you don't have a comic purist telling you how much you suck for enjoying the show as well.

[wishitweresummer]

Now They Know (Dream x GeorgeNotFound x Sapnap)

Word count: 3108

Warning: Intense tickles, feet tickling, slight angst, and poor Gogy being a bit scared and embarrassed.

This is for Mushie's lee!George week! This is Day 6 and the prompt is Intense Tickles.

(This is my first time writing a truly traditional lee! I hope you like it! Please tell me what you think! Please!)

((This series is called Glass House!! Next part: Now Admit It))

George had a secret. While Dream and Sapnap knew pretty much everything about him, they didn't know one thing.

He didn't know exactly why it was something he kept hidden. He didn't think the other two would judge him or think of him as weird. Just whenever he tried to tell them, he couldn't. Something stopped him. Some small scared voice inside of him.

George liked being tickled. Really, everything about it. The feeling of the electricity that shot through him at any ticklish touch. The dizziness that the breathlessness brought. The complete loss of brain function during it. The excitement of the fight. The teases and laughter of his friends when they got him down. The tingles in all of his muscles when it was over. Everything.

While he had yet to share his feelings with his best friends in an effort to indulge in it more, he did find himself in a unique position. Fans that seemed to share his same interest in tickling often made content that featured George being tickled. Art and stories could be found easily once he made a committed secret alt account on Twitter called @gigglygogy404. He has had the account for more than a year now and never had any slip-ups in that time. Always switching between the accounts properly and never interacting with tickle content on his main.

It all changed on one fateful night that seemed like any other.

     The day itself had been a regular one as well. All three of the boys had been able to either stream or appear on someone else's, so they felt accomplished for the day.

     Dream had been the last to get off a stream. George was laid on Dream's bed waiting for him when a notification from Sapnap interrupted his reading of a fanfiction where he was being tickled silly by Sapnap himself. George smiled to himself while he liked the story to finish it later and swiped away the Twitter app.

"Sap says the food's here, come on.", he said to Dream before hopping off the bed and heading out.

     All three talked about their recent streams over chinese food. Dream suggested the other two make sure they check who else is streaming before going live, stating he got less viewers than he thought he would because so many of their friends were streaming at the same time. This wasn't unusual. Dream always paid attention to the numbers a little more than the other two. Of course the other two would only ever listen to his advice when he gave it, considering his success.

     Plenty of laughter and teasing over dinner kept everyone's spirits high before they separated again; Sapnap off to edit and the other two back to Dream's room to hang out.

     This was usual, Dream and George laid out on his bed just playing on their phones.

     They had only settled in bed for enough time for George to watch two TikToks when Dream sighed.

"Did I send a tweet out about that stream? I did right?".

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure you did.".

"Can I see your Twitter real quick?".

"Yeah. I'll be right back.". George handed Dream his phone and left to go to the bathroom.

     George had let Dream go through his Twitter a million times and thought nothing of it, but he had forgotten that he never switched back to his main account.

     Dream opened the app and went straight to the likes. He knew if he had tweeted out that he was streaming that George would have hit it with a like. But, his mission was quickly abandoned when he saw the last thing that was liked. It was a fanfiction. Dream furrowed his brows as he skimmed the first tweet in the chain. George didn't typically interact with this kind of fan content. He clicked back over to the main page to see what account he was on.

     The account was called @gigglygogy404.

     Dream stared for a moment, more confused than anything. He went back and skimmed through the fanfiction the account had liked. It was a story about George being tickled by Sapnap. Dream scrolled to the next like and his mouth actually dropped open in shock. It was Dream Team fanart, but nothing like Dream had seen before. In it, Dream had his arms wrapped around George from behind while Sapnap blew a raspberry into his stomach. The George was laughing and had a cute blush.

Dream startled when George was suddenly climbing back into the bed. He quickly swiped out of the app and back into TikTok before handing him back his phone.

Now, he hadn't meant to invade George's privacy and learn about his secret interest. But, he had. And now he didn't know what to do.

He briefly looked over at George scrolling through TikTok. He originally had asked for George's phone to find his Tweet instead of looking in his own account because he didn't want to lose his place on a MCC statistic post he was on, but suddenly it held no interest to him. His mind swirled with the new information about his best friend.

Suddenly, George tensed next to him. Dream looked over to see him quickly close out of the Twitter app.

Dream watched him. His little thumbs wiggled in panic over his phone screen. He pulled up the background apps and swiped Twitter away, just to select the app again. The boy let out a shaky breath as he saw it was still on @gigglygogy404. Then, he seemed frozen.

Dream's heart sunk a little at the sheer panic his best friend was showing.

"It's okay.", he spoke. George flinched at the words.

"Oh god.", he murmured, then covered his reddening face with both hands and curled into Dream.

Dream quickly collected the smaller into a hug, letting him hide himself into his hands against his chest.

Idly, he couldn't help the pride bubbling inside him that George was scared about what Dream had seen, but still chose to curl into him for comfort.

"It's okay George, please don't be upset.", he spoke softly and pressed his fingers through his hair.

"I'm going to cry.", he mumbled. It was barely audible with how muffled it was against his hands. Dream nearly crushed the boy to his chest at the words.

"No no please, George I promise it's okay.". George whimpered.

Sapnap knocked on the door and opened it before either could respond.

"Oh...what's going on in here? Georgie okay?". George whined and curled into him more. Dream shook his head 'no'. Sapnap crawled onto the bed and gave George's sides a few squeezes. Dream gasped as the boy squealed and shoved away from him at the ticklish feeling. "What's wrong George?", Sapnap asked as the boy fell onto his back and cowered under their gazes. "Blushing already?", he teased with a soft smile.

"Oh my god.", George groaned and covered his face again. Dream huffed in amusement.

"Sapnap, are you tickling him to make him feel better?".

"Well, yeah. I don't know, it usually works. Why is he all sad? What happened?". George peeked at Dream.

"He's embarrassed about something he shouldn't be. I think tickling him might actually be exactly what he needs.". George scoffed.

"Ooh really?".

     Instantly, a small fight broke out. Dream went for George's hands, but he pulled them away just in time. The two scrambled to get a hold of the squirmy boy as he fought for his life.

"No please don't!!!", he cried out as Dream grabbed him and pulled his back against he chest. "Dream!!!", he screeched.

"What were you so embarrassed about Gogy? Can you tell me?".

"No!!". George shook his head frantically.

"Do I have to tickle it out of you?", Sapnap teased, giving a few pokes to George's helpless tummy. George squirmed back into Dream's body and broke into giggles.

"Now, wouldn't that be ironic?", Dream murmured quietly, directly into George's burning red ear. Sapnap didn't hear what Dream said, but just assumed it was some tease about tickling him.

"He's so blushy today!". Sapnap giggled gleefully as he started his tickle attack. Evil fingers descended on George's sensitive sides and he was a goner. Shrieks of laughter filled the room.

Dream smiled down at his best friends, suddenly reminded of the art George had liked.

"Sap, I think he needs a raspberry on his tummy.". Dream jostled George, who cried out in protest. Sapnap complied easily, tugging up George's shirt and attaching his mouth to his bare stomach. He blew raspberry after raspberry as George screamed and laughed hysterically.

"Does this remind you of anything?", Dream murmured into his ear.

"I hate you!!", he whined.

"Awww Gogy you don't mean that!", Sapnap giggled and pulled away, tickling into the jumpy tummy with both hands. George squealed and twisted in Dream's hold. "Are you gonna tell me what's wrong?".

Sapnap was definitely enjoying torturing his best friend. George was always really fun to tickle. The older was insanely ticklish and he really enjoyed his laugh. But, he was still concerned about the scene he had walked in on. He trusted Dream wouldn't let this happen if it would make anything worse for George, but he still wanted to know what happened so he could help.

Dream could tell Sapnap was troubled by what he had walked into. He studied him as he tickled the squirmy boy in his arms to pieces. Sapnap had said he was trying to cheer George up with tickling.

"Georgie, he basically knows.". Sapnap stopped the tickles and tugged George's shirt back down into place.

"What's going on?", Sapnap asked softly. He looked so young, suddenly. The worry was taking over.

George calmed down slowly, and the other two gave him the time he needed. Dream switched from restraining George to just holding him softly. He brushed the sweaty hair off his forehead for him.

"I'll tell you. But, I really don't want to be made fun of right now. I'm...", suddenly George twisted and buried his face in Dream's neck. Dream's eyes went wide as he held George closer, rubbing his back. "...I'm sorry. This is scary. Dream just tell him.". Sapnap made a small noise at George's state.

"I won't make fun of you.", he said gently, then looked at Dream. Dream smiled and shook his head in amusement.

"I don't know why he's being so dramatic, because I think you already know.". Dream used his free hand to grab George's phone and unlock it, handing it over to Sapnap. "Go to Twitter.". George whimpered. Sapnap hesitated, then opened it up and scrolled through the account. Instead of going to the likes he scrolled through the posts on the actual account. Every single one he saw was a repost of some kind of tickle content featuring George. Some posts were tickle art or fanfiction like Dream had seen, but a few were posts about fans speculating about the amount of tickling in the Dream Team house or theories about George's ticklishness. A very clear pattern. Sapnap smiled.

"Giggly Gogy?", he asked, walking two fingers up George's spine to make him squirm. "Okay so...you like being tickled. Right? Is that was this is about? There's no way you're hiding from me right now over this.". Dream and Sapnap shared an amused look. "I knew he liked being tickled, you did too right?". Dream chuckled and nodded. George squeaked in protest, refusing to come out of hiding.

"Go to his likes, the art is really cute.". Sapnap did as he was told and coo'ed at the art.

"Hey we just did that! Did you see the last thing he liked?". Dream nodded and Sapnap took a bit to skim the story. He hummed as an understanding took him over as he took in the story. In it, George is absolutely decimated. Tickled worse than Dream or Sapnap had ever tickled him before. The George in the story displayed behaviors that would have told actual Sapnap he needed to stop tickling, but the Sapnap in the story carried on. Story-George was tickled to tears, and then some. Story-George begged desperately for mercy, but didn't get it. Sapnap nodded slowly. "Ohhh okay, I get it.". George peeked out at him, blushing hilariously dark. Sapnap giggled and rolled his eyes. "Idiot.". Dream laughed.

"C'mon Georgie, come out of hiding.".

     Sapnap watched as the scared boy peeled himself from Dream and just couldn't help himself, grabbing him and pulling him into a crushing hug. George sank into it gratefully.

"Gergg.", he lowly said the dumb nickname.

"Surpnurp.", George returned, hugging him back.

"You guys are cute.", Dream blurted. All three of them laughed.

     Softly, Sapnap pushed George back to the bed and the two leaned over him. George couldn't help but cower.

"Can you give us a safeword?", Sapnap asked.

"...Skeppy.". Dream wheezed painfully and fell halfway onto George in a fit of laughter. Soon, they were all laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"You're such an idiot!!".

As soon as George saw signs of the other two calming down he grabbed a hold of one of their hands each.

"What is about to happen?", he asked through nervous giggles. Dream looked at Sapnap.

"Okay. Me and Dream are going to tickle you. Like totally crazy. Tickle you to death.". George couldn't quit giggling, but he shook his head 'no'.

"Gonna tickle tickle tickle you.", Dream added, causing George to squeak in protest.

"And here's the deal. You can fight us all you want. Beg for mercy and beg us to stop all you want. But, we aren’t going to.". The two grinned like wolves.

Of course, the implication here was that he's already been given a safeword to use when he wants them to stop, but none of them wanted to break the illusion.

"You can't do this to me!", George cried out and instantly tried to sit up. Both boys shook his grip loose and Dream shoved him by his chest back down to the bed. George screamed as Sapnap grabbed his thigh and Dream pressed two clawed hands to his ribcage. Immediately, George was in hysterics. He threw his head back and cackled loudly, squirming wildly against the bed. He frantically kicked his legs, but Sapnap kept a firm grip on the thigh and kept massaging right into the sensitive muscle. He shoved at Dream's hands and chest, but Dream was much stronger than him. George had no chance in hell of getting out.

"Awww are you so ticklish? Are you tickle tickle ticklish?", Dream used a baby voice. George shrieked in protest and his face burned at the words. His crazed laughter raised in pitch.

"Stop!! Guys come on!!!", he yelled.

Sapnap giggled and scooted back, grabbing one of George's flying ankles and scribbling at his socked sole. George screamed and twisted.

"Uh oh!!", Dream coo'ed, seemingly unable to drop the baby act.

As Sapnap wrestled with George's sock, Dream grabbed his wrists and pinned them above his head.

"Nonono!!!". Dream only smirked and nodded as he teased his fingertips against the open underarm. George shrieked in terror as his worst spot was left wide open and Sapnap finally tugged his sock off. Dream pressed into his most sensitive muscle in his underarm and massaged quick little circles. Sapnap scribbled up his bare foot. George wailed with laughter, squirming against the blankets wildly. "Please!! No more!!", he screamed. Tears streaked down his beet-red cheeks and Dream coo'ed.

     Sapnap put his ankle in a headlock and started playing with his toes. Wiggling each of them and teasing between them.

"Little piggies.", he sang playfully. George's toes curled helplessly against the ticklish touch. Every time Sapnap played with his last two toes his laughter would shoot up a few octaves. "Are these ones the worst? Huh? Too ticklish for you Georgie?". George could only shake his head and squeal through his laughter in response.

Dream laughed as he switched back and forth between drilling into George's underarm and clawing gently at it. George's cackles increased steadily as he lost his mind under all the tickling.

"Please!!", he screeched.

Dream looked back at Sapnap and they grinned at each other. George was just too cute, really.

"Awww what's wrong Gogy?", Sapnap teased as he crawled up and grabbed a hold of squirmy narrow hips.

"Fuck off!!!". Sapnap only smirked as he started to play with the ticklish hipbones. George thrashed violently and screamed with laughter. Dream was relentless still with his underarm.

Sapnap's devilish fingers danced between his hips and his sides. Dream went back and forth between his underarms. George was completely lost in his laughter. He had no chance to get used to the feeling and he truly felt insane. It went on forever, he was sure. Time meant nothing as his brain melted from his laughter.

This is the worst George had actually been tickled before. He has always wondered what his limit was. It was exciting. Dream and Sapnap both seemed hellbent on breaking him down and he had never felt like this before. His head spun dizzily with the lack of air he was getting. His cackling cut off every minute or so and he just thrashed silently. Every nerve in his body felt alive as the ticklish electricity shot through him. His mind was wiped clean and he could only think one thing.

'It tickles it tickles it tickles it tickles.'.

It was exhilarating.

Eventually, his muscles started to feel sore from his crazed movements and his ability to laugh was flickering. Finally, a limit. George had been officially tickled to the brink. It was a strangely beautiful thing, to have gotten his fill of what he wanted. He knew when they stopped he wouldn't have any lingering urge to try and provoke more. His only regret was his ridiculous choice of safeword.

"Skeppy!", he croaked out.

The tickling hands stopped and George fell limp, closing his eyes. The other two were quick to smother him with cuddles. The boy could not stop giggling, but he could finally relax. A calm filled him like he had never felt before.

Dream brushed the hair off his sweaty forehead.

"Are you okay?", he whispered. George giggled and turned to hide his face in Sapnap's chest.

"Duh.", he responded, but it was very muffled.

George bit his lip to hold back giddy giggles. He was so excited. His two best friends know now that he loves to be tickled and they seemed to love to tickle him.

[goodluckdetective]

I’d post a new Twitter news update but it’s so deeply stupid that I’m not entirely convinced isn’t a parody.

Here’s what I know for sure: Twitter is rebranding as “X” which is something Elon Musk has wanted to make happen since his PayPal days. His CEO made a big announcement about it. Some notes:

I’m no expert on WeChat (and I welcome those who are to comment on this) but it sounds like Elon wants to make Twitter is to something like WeChat but with 0 understanding how WeChat works. I think he wants an everything app with absolutely no comprehension of what people actually use Twitter for, and 0 understanding of why someone might not want to pair their thirst tweets with their banking information.

The powered by AI bit means absolutely nothing: if they mean algorithms, Twitter already has those and if they mean having a bot tweet for you…also already exists. It’s peak buzzword marketing.

Anyway, looks bad.

[ashnsweet]

omd yk what i completely forgot to say

yk how i said someone here posted that tweet ab why does lewis get to do donuts

WAS A DANNY RIC FANPAGE

honestly indifferent to him like i could not care less ab his jobless ass

i felt some nostalgia but like again i did not ever find it that deep

i more thought the timing was odd like literally been hearing it all the time and then u dont drop him and then he was just dropped but like eh wtv who cares

but ur the same person that was sobbing over ur driver getting booted after not performing

compared to a driver achieving HISTORY switching from a team nobody thought he'd ever leave

lewis is celebrating a legacy acc

idc if i alr saw it ages ago we will be speaking ab this till i decide we shouldnt

its not always just "switching teams"

but it is just a driver getting dropped <3

i fully get feeling ur bias and support to specific ppl and teams and then being a hater to others

hey i do it too thats fine and yh ur always gonna ride at dawn for ur favs but the fact that some ppl are ur favs says a lot ab u as a person

legit only rly hate one driver on the grid and one team and nothing could ever change my mind and my opinions

so yh maybe mine wont but i feel like there have been general times of unanimity here

like who tf was sad ab australia? silverstone? monaco? brazil?

we were all like omddddd yes

and i feel like the lewis to ferrari news had the unanimous shock and sadness

abu dhabi had that same emotion between everyone

regardless of who ur rooting for everyone felt sadness for someone or something and could see the emotion in different driver switches

AGAIN IF IT WAS JUST A DRIVER SWITCH THEY WOULDNT HAVE LET HIM DO THE STUPID DONUTS

SO STFU

i do still wish valtteri and kmag got to do some ik zhou did on his own but that doesnt mean i wanna take from lewis means i wannna add to the celebrations

in a way its not that deep but thats the person ur projecting to others and ur ok w that?

inchresting

could never be me

on a nicer note the merc farewell tour and him driving off it looked so beautiful

and i was like it was giving the vibe of getting married and being driven off and sent off away from ur home

also drop the toto and lewis edit ive probably alr seen it but yk just to see

-🌝

when I saw this edit, I uninstalled the app and stared at the wall for an hour (I wish I was joking)

like the toto switch up was so insane I'm... in my head I love lewis the most but still toto loved him more then he made those shelf comments in public and I realised it must have been crazier irl which is why lewis switched

trust a danny ric lover to always be present at the crime scene

if someone stans that man. their opinion mean batshit to me so wtv lol.

anyway about lewis.

he made history. like we should take a moment and think about how we got to live through the merc x lewis era, everyone knows this. even lewis haters lmao so you truly need to have 0 braincells to say shit about him doing donuts fuck this made me so mad

I had my irls who don't know that full form of f1 is formula 1 texting me and asking what's up with someone called lewis in mercedes

it was THAT big, uncultured people texted me to ask about it

you're truly right, having a fav driver might not be that deep but it tells me everything about a person

[delicrieux]

—MAKE YOU SAY “OH” EXTRAS: TINDER

extra meaning non-canonical occurrence; can be placed anywhere in the “make you say oh” timeline after couple (cha. 14) and before the final “oh”. 

pairing—corpse husband x f!reader warnings—tinder profiles, tw: men, swearing.  word count—2.6k. format— written. ─── ❥ req by nonnie​:  y/n makes a youtube vid/live stream where she's just swiping through her tinder acc and corpse literally blocks her lmao

author’s note—akldsljfs this was such a funny idea i could not not write it lmao

ultimate masterlist. myso masterlist

You have pulled the biggest brain move by setting up both a facecam and a screen recorder on your phone. All is beautifully displayed and visible during the stream. Your fanbase is particularly intrigued on what exactly are you planning on doing today, seeing as your tweet of “strea” had been a bit vague, if not downright ominous. No emojis. No elaboration. You couldn’t even be bothered to finish the word. Truly, a mystery. Everyone tuned in and are currently waiting with bated breath.

A few of your fans must sense upcoming doom because the overall mood in the chat turns from optimistically intrigued to...evil. It’s an entity all on it’s own now, clawing at you through the screen with various renditions of laughter and devil emojis. A few eggplants thrown in there for good measure, accompanied, naturally, by the scandalous water drops. At first the common consensus is that you’re biting the bullet and going through your camera roll on stream. Definitely an idea worth considering, though you frankly don’t know what lies at the start of the 11k photograph journey, and you are afraid to check in public. Could be a harmless meme, could be a salacious pic you had saved of an OF star. It’s really a gamble. Either way, you would definitely get banned. You might still get banned. Why do you insist on doing shit like this?

Because it’s funny. Because you’re kinda stupid. Because it’s just so absolutely laughably easy to do.

A smile quirks your lips, and while it is not explicitly smug, the look in your eyes sure is, “Greetings,” You utter lowly, dimming the lights--the budget for this stream! Ugh, you went all out, “my children.”

mother i crave violence

sensing evil energy rn!!

i do not claim the energy in this video for myself or anyone else watching this 💖💖

^with peace and love shut the fuck up

“I know y’all lowkey hoes-” Upon your words the chat splits into two: one side eagerly agrees (even shares a few OF accounts! How helpful, supporting small businesses!), whilst the other feverishly insists on innocence. You make a face stuck somewhere between offended and bewildered, “Now c'mon now-I know you. I know you all. We’re the same, don’t-what was that?”

You try to scroll back to the comment but it’s loss in the sea of incoming messages, “I swear to God I just saw-”

Corpse_Husband: i love late night streams it’s not like i have anything better to do.

“COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORPSE!!!!” 

rip headphone users

i cant feel my face when im with you by the weeknd but instead of face its my fucking ears

yall think full vol on pc is better?my parents woke up 😭😭😭😭

To think he’s spending his last waking moments for today with watching you (he probably still would have anyway, because you do not posses an ounce of shame or self-control and pester him relentlessly)! It makes your heart sing, and suddenly, a traitorous, fun hating idea barges it’s way through the crowd of incoherent buzzing and states: don’t do this. For some reason it also has the voice of Rae. As if that would work in guilt-tripping you- Rae never succeed, and her fictitious rendition in mind won’t fare much better either.

Still, you thought about it. That must count for something. Corpse will understand, won’t he? Why don’t you want to upset it in the first place? Men look so funny when they lose their shit, like hello, don’t you have anything better to do? But the image of Corpse just sitting there, hurt, distraught, leaving you on seen because he’s in his sad boy hours leaves a sour taste in your mouth. 

queen rly went from  🥺😊 to 😕 u ok bbgirl?

Corpse_Husband: no pouts cutie

akjdjoeijdfse cUTIE??? deadass boutta r.i.p.

Well that succeeded in eliminating everything from mind, doubts included. If this was an anime, the scenery would shift into something roseate, with flowers and bubbles and sparkles all around you along with a halo or two. Alas, not an anime, rather reality. The led-lights, however, seemingly possessing a will of their own, slowly turn from deep violet to pink. You smile brightly, like the absolute dumbass you are, and you are met with a ray of heart and blushing emojis. You are just so cute, a real cutie! Still in your disguise adorable state, you swipe your finger on your phone screen, the grin never leaving your lips.

There, among the plethora of apps, nestled sits a red square with a white fire plastered on it. The delicate calligraphy on the bottom reads: TINDER.

The mood changes once again- you’re giving the roaches emotional instability by how quickly everything flips over- and the chat spams eggplants vigorously; some, of course, bravely fight against the thirst.

nooooooo i thought y/n is gonna stream in a god honoring way!!!

^pack it up girl defined

“So, Charlie and I-” You note a few awfully curious comments and squint, “-yes, we talk a lot. Charlie is a really good friend of mine. We’re best friends. Brothers. Sisters. Cousins. The whole fucking family tree-no, that sounds weird. Delete. Anyway, Charlie, being the absolute fucker he is, said, hey, you know what would be funny? And I was like, nooo, what would be funny, Charlie? And he says to me, he says, says, making fun of men on Tinder. And if y’all need any more proof that Charlie and I are platonic soulmates, then dunno, my children, my roaches, I dunno-I dunno what more to give you.”

You can’t be bothered reading the comments, there’s too damn many. You also need to save your reading comprehension for the actual bios. It has a time limit, that darn thing. 

“Okay, so I made a profile earlier, but I hadn’t swiped on anyone yet-” Despite the fact, Tinder helpfully informs you that already 99+ people have swiped right on you, “So, this is me,” You show the pictures you have of yourself, and damn, not to be a conceited narcissist, but you look really good. Like if you saw yourself on Tinder, you’d super like instantly. “Uhm, so, my bio-my bio says: let’s sauce in the tub together, ya dig? splishy splashy, giggle giggle.” 

i cant believe we are witnessing y/n trying to form a coherent sentence live 

shes trying give her time

ya dig??? y not capeesh

what scene from the godfather is this lol?

“My anthem, is,” You laugh, covering your lips with your hand, “Corpsie, this is form you-” Proudly, you show that indeed, Corpse’s E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY FUCKING LIFE is listed as your anthem on Spotify, “Hehe.” Yes, you say that aloud.

Corpse_Husband: you’re killing me Corpse_Husband: thanks baby Corpse_Husband: now delete tinder ❤︎

You ignore his last quip, deciding it’s finally time to get this show on the road, “Right, let’s do this shit. I’m not actually going to swipe on any guys that look, uh, decent? Yuck, can’t believe I just said that, uhm, because I-because I feel like some actually deserve a chance with someone? I don’t wanna get anyone’s hopes up, as I am currently in a long distance relationship with Chrollo. So I’m just gonna swipe on, like, frat boy assholes. Because I don’t care if I hurt their feelings. Quite frankly I don’t think they possess them in the first place.”

The chat voices their agreements. With the ground rules set, you, giddy, click on the first profile.

Does Tinder know what you’re doing, your plan? The FBI agent watching you through your phone must be working overtime, bless his heart. They must, because the the first guy to meet you is named Jason, and there he is, blond hair and blue eyes, holding up a fish the size of his torso. Marginally adequate in looks, pretty good muscles. A solid 7 bordering on 8. He’s the same age as you, 15 miles away, and he studies at some college you don’t care enough to look up. Bio reads:

I like to drive fast. Fishing is my passion, but if you can’t catch me by the ocean, you’ll catch me catching waves, bro! Love a good gym date. You do squats, and I’ll keep a close eye to make sure you’re doing it correctly ;) You probably saw me at a party. Leader of the The Phi Kappa Psi. I’m a Gemini, if that matters lol.

You, of course, read it aloud, dramatically; provide some constructive criticism-he seems nice, but he’s a Gemini, so naturally, you can’t trust him at all! Also, that gym date session leaves little to be desired. With your rant done, you swipe right, and shocker! (not), it’s an instant match.

“Okie, I still wanna swipe of some profiles, so I’ll see what he’ll text later-” For a second you wonder the legalities of this stream, but you’re having too much fun to think of it further, “guys, I won't get sued, right?”

NOW she considers it

well....

if you do, we’ll kickstart your lawyer dw <3

Onto the next profile. Kevin, 25, is seen fixing his car- or, you assume he’s mid-fixing it, you don’t really know why else he’d hold a wrench and be covered in oil. He’s shirtless, and the caveman part of your brain echoes something closely resembling AWOOOGA!, but...but!...blonde hair, blue eyes. You pout again, “I don’t...I don’t really like blond boys, ya know? With the blue eyes and all, it’s just not my thing, uhm, unless it’s like-like...Armin from Attack on Titan. Else I don’t care.”

Onto the bio:

You have to treat a car like you treat a woman: go on long rides, take the lead, but most importantly, keep her oiled up 😜 

“What the fuck did I just read?”

The chat is equally confused. You swipe right anyway- another match. Too easy.

The stream continues without incident for a solid thirty minutes- all of your matches, expect a few that genuinely looked like normal dudes that really couldn’t write a decent bio to save their lives, had been blond hair blue eyed gym rats with ranging forms of misogyny. Some opened with asking for nudes out right, some asked about your day first before asking for nudes. You prefer the former. Straight to the point! You admire the gall. 

But then, down the forty-five minute mark a profile popped up that made you still by your phone, your smile dying as your eyes bulged. Dear God. Lord in heaven. Who is this demonspiit lookalike and why is he so fucking hot? The neck tats, the skateboard, the clothes- holy shit, you gotta close your mouth before some drool dribbles out.

No bio, just his name, Tyler, and that he’s 23.

“He boutta be 23 in me.” You mutter, swiping right with lightning speed.

WHAT DID SHE SAYYYYY?????????

tyler is y/ns karma for relentlessly mocking that one guy that had a whole ass list on what his “female” partner should be

^he deserved it and also tyler seems like a typical fuckboi y/n grow a braincell

look at mom 🥺 her eyes are sparkling

It wasn’t a match right away. You somehow expected as much, but it still upset you. Simp behavior, pathetic. The stream continued bravely, and when Tyler messaged you a simple “yo” you totally didn’t sequel. You didn’t manage to text him back on stream: texting all those guys that you didn’t really find all that attractive was easy, but this...You’re a sucker for a man who radiates red flag energy. His whole profile is a red flag. He might just be a red flag himself.

What can you do? Suddenly becoming color blind is not easy. Once the stream ends, you unmatch with everyone expect Tyler. He you chat with for a bit, but a sudden craving for different company makes you abandon him, too. You don’t feel too heartbroken for him- you’re certain there’s already too many girls in his dms. You wish them luck.

Happily, you delete Tinder. You go to Twitter, notice you’re trending again- look at you go! Queen shit- and as you compose a thank you tweet, something strange happens. You go to text Corpse, but when you click on his profile you grow cold.

YOU’RE BLOCKED. You can’t follow or see @/Corpse_Husband ‘s Tweets. 

...Pardon? You hop onto Instragram and-also blocked. Seriously? And you thought you’re one petty bitch. Corpse is seriously prissy about everything. Damn, if he didn’t like your stream, he could’ve just said so. Didn’t need to, like, block you from his internet existence. So not cool.

You try texting him but no text go through. Well how will you let him know you deleted Tinder just like he asked? You relieve your frustrations by punching your pillow a few times. Later, you apologize to her, you didn’t mean to hurt her, it’s not her, it’s you. Fuck, 5 minutes of exile and you’re already loosing your mind.

“Raeeeeeeeeeeee!” You whine loudly. It’s roughly 2am now, but you don’t care. You’re too heartbroken to care. There’s a thump from her room, but nothing else, “Raeeeeeeeee!!!” You wail, wallowing in self-pity on your bed. You hear a very loud, very annoyed sigh from her room, followed by angry marching. Your door is abruptly thrown open, and in the dim, colorful light you see her scowl.

“What?” She grits.

“Can you please tell Corpse to unblock me from everything?”

“What did you do now?”

“I made fun of men on Tinder.”

She pauses, “...That doesn’t sound so bad.” She surmises, voice laced with suspicion, “What else?”

“...There was one really hot guy that I kinda sorta talked to after--”

“Y/n.”

“-But I totally deleted Tinder and honestly he was pretty boring, so, like, uhm, please?”

She sighs, the servery of which implies she is holding the weight of the world on her shoulders, and instantly you know that you won. She taps away at her phone, “You owe me one.” She states, and before you can reply, she exits your room and slams the door behind her.

Grinning, you text his phone again. The message goes through, oh gosh, you’re so relieved you feel like crying. This has been, officially, the worst five minutes of your life.

You Y DID U BLOCK ME LOSER!!! MAJOR LOSER ALERT!! I DELETED EVERYTHING IT WAS A JOKE r u still mad at me? y u always mad at me i never do anything:(

my husband You’re my baby, how do you think I’ll react when I see you publicly simping for some asshole on Tinder?

Oh no, he used the words, he delivered the killing blow. You’re finished. Your heart can’t take such a workout. 

Not that you would ever admit it to him, though!

You hehe ur jellyyyy u always dis jealous hehe?

my husband Not jealous.

Yeah, you might not be the brightest tool in the shed, but even you know that’s a lie. You send him an array of kissy emojis that he doesn’t have the decency to reply to. Then, completely unprompted and dead serious, you send him a simple voice memo, saying: “You really have nothing to worry about, you know? You’re my favorite, Corpsie.”

He responds via text, reiterating that he’s not fucking jealous and that he just doesn’t like when you show such outward interest in anyone but it’s not like he cares or anything. It’s just really, like, weeeeird to see his baby simping for another man like that totally ruins the whole dynamic!!! It was only natural that he should block you on every social media platform, including his personal number (which, like, was completely necessary! Doesn’t matter that his viewers can’t see it, it’s gotta be super believable!), and inform his followers of that, because it’s all a joke, like, for the dynamic, that Youtube grind, you know? Ya dig? No personal feelings were involved at all. He totally wasn’t upset that you found someone else cute, no way!

my husband I’m not jealous. Lol.

You ik u repeated tht like 50 times  u trynna convince me or??? lmao

my husband No comment. ...You don’t actually talk to anyone else like we’re talking, right?

You no one else calls me their baby if thts wat ur wondering at least not to my knowledge lol im all urs

my husband That makes me very happy to hear:)

Yeah, it makes you very happy, too.

hope you liked it!! xx

[hopelesshawks]

Ash and Dust Part 7- Opportunities

18+ Dabi x fem!reader

Summary: You first meet Dabi on the worst night of your life after unwittingly walking into the very bar the League of Villains made infamous. That should probably be the end of the story. You stumble on the remnants of one of the most infamous terrorist groups in the history of Japan, get viciously murdered or call the cops and get them arrested, the end. Except that’s not the end of the story. It’s only the beginning.

Masterlist Help Lulu (Kofi)

Waking up the morning after reclaiming your bedroom (at least in part) is jarring for two reasons.

The first is that you’re waking up next to Dabi.

For some reason you thought he might wake up before you, even though he’s pretty routinely demonstrated that he’s not an early riser. Perhaps you expected the knowledge that he was sleeping in the same bed as you to perturb him enough to get him up early. Instead your eyelashes had fluttered open to find him still deeply asleep with his face only a few inches from yours.

You fully intended on simply rolling over to either fall back asleep or get on with your day but you’d found yourself enthralled with his sleeping face instead. You know Dabi’s smirks, sneers, and scowls like the back of your hand after a little over a month of living with him. His resting face, however, is entirely foreign to you. You’ve never had a moment alone with him where he wasn’t antagonizing you and it’s odd to see him so peaceful. Your eyes trace over his face, taking in the extent of the scarring on his jaw and beneath his eyes, but also appreciating the unmarred expanses of skin as well. It strikes you that Dabi is pretty. It shouldn’t be surprising considering what you’ve seen of the youngest Todoroki in the press but even still. In another world where he’d never become the wanted criminal he is today, you wonder if he’d be a heartbreaker or a sweet, gentle type. Would he be as quiet and polite as his brother seems to be or would he still get a thrill from bantering with someone who isn’t afraid to banter right back? Would he be in the tabloids with a different girl every week or settle down early with his high school sweetheart? You’re fascinated by the idea of what the scarred man before you would be without the tragedy and the trauma. You might’ve sat there just taking him in until he woke up if not for the second reason waking up that morning was so jarring.

Your phone has been pinging literally non-stop.

You’ve never resented your notification sound more as its shrill tone continues to echo in your room, putting the fragile peace at risk. Even before you found yourself as alone as you are now your phone was never this busy. As much as you try to ignore it and wait for the tidal wave of what you assume are spam notifications to end, the sound finally drives you to turn over and grab it. Your eyes widen as you take in the sheer amount of Twitter notifications you have. As you unlock your phone and navigate over to the app your mentions are literally flooded with Deku fans screaming about your talent and how lucky you are. It’s a confusing litany of fangirling that you try to weed through until you get to one mention in particular that makes your breath catch in your throat.

You got a mention from the rising hero himself.

Holy shit.

You’ve never clicked a tweet so quickly in your entire life. Not only are you stunned to find he’s seen and loved your work but he also mentions wanting to talk if you’re interested. Sure enough, when you navigate over to the messages section of the app, a feature you’ve never bothered to use, you notice a message request from Midoriya ‘Deku’ Izuku waiting for you. It takes everything in you not to scream as you read the message there over and over before finally hopping out of bed and moving to the kitchen to call the number he’d left you. It’s a little endearing that he’d been so quick to hand out his number to a complete stranger on the internet but you also can’t help but wonder how someone so naive could be the same man drawing headlines over his heroics and combat skill. You’re not exactly a Deku fangirl but it’s still wild to be dialing a celebrity’s number as you punch in the numbers and then wait for it to ring.

On literally the second ring the phone is answered. “Pro Hero Deku at your service! Who’s calling?” the young man answers chirpily. “Uhh, this is (y/l/n)? You messaged me on twitter?” “Oh! Right! Yes! Hello! One second!”

You can hear Deku excusing himself from whatever room he’s in, a disgruntled voice mumbling something you can’t hear, causing Deku to reply with a hushed “Sorry Kacchan! I’ll be right back!” before there’s more shuffling and finally the sound of a heavy door closing.

“Ok I’m back! Thanks for reaching out to me so quickly!” he finally says now that he’s, apparently, in a better place to talk.

“Yea, of course I guess I’m just shocked you liked my art so much and really appreciate you drawing so much attention to it,” you explain, feeling short of breath at how surreal the situation is.

“Of course! You’re really talented! Your work deserves to get attention!”

“Thank you but, uh, why exactly did you want me to call you?”

“Right! It’s about your artwork.”

“Ok?”

“I want to sell it!”

“What?”

“Wait well no not sell it. Or not sell that particular piece although it is a nice piece and if you wanted to theoretically you could probably sell it although I guess it’s available for free online already so maybe people wouldn’t want to pay for it. Although it’s a painting right? And people buy or pay to go see paintings you can see online all the time so maybe it wouldn’t be too bad but if it’s for your own enjoyment you may not want to give it up which would be totally understandable and also how would that work logistically? If the painting is rather large it may be unwieldy to try and ship it to whoever purchases it, in which case would you have to meet up to try and give it to them by hand? But then that necessitates meeting up with a complete stranger on the internet and what if the person who buys it doesn’t live near you or, since it is the internet, doesn’t even live in Japan? Then you have to contend with international shipping and-”

“Uhh, Deku?” you ask cautiously, barely able to process the mumbling of the young man on the phone.

“Ah! Sorry! I can kinda end up on tangents sometimes... What I mean to say is that I’m not trying to sell the painting you posted or anything but I think you’re really talented as an artist and one of my friends is looking for someone to design a new merch collection.”

One of his friends? Your mind instantly starts running through his impressive list of ex classmates. Your first thought is Dynamight and immediately you shudder at the idea. He may be years younger than you but the aggressive pro hero still scares the shit out of you. Uravity could be an interesting hero to work with although you’re not quite sure you vibe with her aesthetic. Or maybe he’s talking about the new Ingenium?

“You’re real fucking loud in the mornings, you know that Doll?” Dabi asks with a groan as he comes walking into the room with a stretch.

You hurry to shush him, not wanting to lose the opportunity being presented to you, which earns you a curious look. Before you can react Dabi is snatching your phone out of your hand and putting it on speaker. You don’t dare protest verbally and risk alerting Deku of the situation so you have to settle for glaring at Dabi as he smirks at you.

“Yea so, anyway, Shouto really needs new merch but wanted something a little more sophisticated on the designs and I feel like you’d be perfect for that you know? Making all his stuff mini works of art. So what do you say?” Deku asks, his voice still brimming with that same enthusiasm while your blood runs cold. You’re genuinely scared to look up at Dabi’s face to see what he thinks about the idea of you working with his little brother. You hold your breath, Deku’s chipper voice going nervous as he asks “Hello? You still there?”

To your immense surprise, when you finally have the courage to bring your eyes up to meet Dabi’s, he’s got an almost feral grin. “You better take the fucking job,” he hisses delightedly, sending a chill down your spine as you stutter out a response to Deku, your eyes never leaving Dabi’s.

“Yea, sorry just processing. I’d, uh, I’d be happy to help out.”

“Great! I’ll pass your number on to Shouto and you two can meet up and figure out details!”

“Ok.”

“Cool, thanks (y/l/n)! Hopefully I’ll see you around!”

You hum noncommittally before hanging up the phone, still waiting for the other shoe to drop as you practically watch the gears turning in Dabi’s head.

“You’re…. Not mad I’m going to be working with your brother?” you ask cautiously.

“Oh no, I’m fucking delighted Doll. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re gonna help me have a little fun.”

A/N: We are finally starting to get to the meat of the story omg. I’m sorry this fic has been so slow going, especially compared to my others, but if you stick with I’m pretty sure it’ll be worth it. I appreciate each and every one of y’all that’s been reading this fic because main motivation to write it has been hard

Taglist: @thechroniclesofawriter @simpsfortodoroki @ahtsuwu @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @oikawaandkuroostan @tina-98 @vibesdontlie @clubfairy

[storiesforallfandoms]

he’ll never see this ~ noen eubanks

word count: 1994

request?: yes!

“Hi can you do one imagine of Noen Eubanks, like, the reader is a tik toker or influencer something like that and they have a crush on each other,and they Fans are Shipping them.

Thanksss💖🖤💖🖤💖”

description: in which she admits her feelings for a fellow creator during a stream thinking he’ll never see it

pairing: noen eubanks x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

The sound of a new donation message coming in pulled you away from your game for a split second. The automated voice read the message out to you: “are there any influencers that you are totally crushing on right now?”

You chuckle to yourself as you turn back to your game. “You guys really wanna start something, huh? You realize this will be trending within an hour if I say anything.”

You glanced over at your chat to see they were begging you to tell them who your influencer crush was. You had mentioned a few times that there was a fellow influencer that you had a crush on, but you refused to admit who it was (for obvious reasons). Your viewers, however, were determined to find out who this mystery man you liked was.

“We promise we’ll keep it a secret,” you read, managing to catch one message before it disappeared into the void of never ending messages. “I don’t believe you guys at all.”

You laughed as you watched the chat blow up again. You finally paused your game and made your face cam bigger for the audience. “Okay, you know what? Fuck it, there’s no way he’ll ever see this and I’m not big enough of a content creator to have articles written about me. My influencer crush is Noen Eubanks. If you don’t know who he is, look him up on TikTok and you’ll totally understand why I have such a crush on him.”

Your chat went absolutely wild at this. You went back to playing your game, smiling to yourself as you did so. It felt nice to get that off of your chest, and you knew you were about to get a kick out of your fan’s reactions to this.

Like you said, you had no fear of Noen actually finding out what you said. You had a bit of a following, but it was nothing too big. Just enough that you could be classified as “Internet famous”, but not enough that admitting you had a crush on someone else who had a much bigger following than you would be a big deal.

Or so you thought.

After your stream, you decided to go right to bed. You were feeling tired and had to get up early to edit the video you were planning on uploading. You weren’t awake to witness the internet absolutely explode over your comment, but lucky for you it was still happening when you woke up the next morning.

When you checked your phone for the first time that day, you noticed that your notifications had blown up over night. You figured it was just your fans teasing you over your crush on Noen, which it partly was, but you noticed that it was also YouTube news Twitter accounts and internet tabloid accounts tagging you in their articles about your crush on Noen.

“Oh no,” you said, your eyes widening as you read through article after article, tweet after tweet.

Before you knew it, you had spent nearly two hours sat on the floor, reading through everything that mentioned both you and Noen. All the articles were the same: an brief introduction to you and your small Twitch/YouTube following, talking about you admitting to having a crush on Noen the night before, and asking whether the reading audience believed that you and Noen would make a good couple or not.

The reactions from fans were as entertaining as you figured - with many of your fans trying to come up with ship names for you and Noen and tagging him in clips from your stream - but then there were the less than entertaining reactions. Many people, whether they were Noen’s fans or just people who wanted to hate on you you weren’t sure, were saying you had mentioned Noen’s name just for clout, or that your “crush” was nothing more than an infatuation over his looks.

It wasn’t until your phone rang that you were finally pulled out of your trance and back to the real world. Your friend’s name lit up on your screen, and it took you a moment to collect yourself before you answered.

“(Y/N), have you been online yet today?” she asked.

You sighed and nodded, then remembered she couldn’t actually see you. “Yeah, I’ve been scrolling for the past two hours on Twitter.”

“You haven’t checked your Twitch page, or YouTube account yet?”

Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “No? Should I?”

“You definitely should.”

You put her on speaker and switched to your Twitch app. You were shocked to see that you had skyrocketed in subs overnight, same with your YouTube page. You had gained a solid ten thousand subscribers on both platforms, and it was still rising by the second.

“So this situation has gained me more subscribers, who cares? That’s not why I talked about Noen on stream,” you said.

“Oh no, honey. It isn’t just the situation that has given you new subscribers. Go check Noen’s Twitter.”

You knew what she was implying, but you had to see it for your own eyes. You immediately opened the Twitter app again and typed in Noen’s name. You were brought to his Twitter page, where his most recent tweet was a link to the clip from your stream along with a caption that read, “When your internet crush calls you *their* internet crush”.

You covered your mouth in shock. You were sure you were about to start screaming, but you were so speechless that you couldn’t force any sounds from your mouth.

“I’m assuming by the silence that you’ve seen it,” your friend said after a prolonged moment of silence.

“D-Did he just c-call me his...?” you trailed off, unable to finish your sentence.

“He did,” your friend confirmed. “And both of your fans are going wild. They’ve already come up with a ship name for you, which isn’t the most clever name but I admire their spirit.”

You could barley hear what your friend was saying. You were still staring at the tweet in disbelief. Your mind could barley comprehend anything else besides the fact that your online crush thought the same as you. You were trying to tell yourself not to get too worked up, as it was most likely that nothing was going to come from this besides some gossip for a week or more, but your heart was still racing with excitement.

You gasped as a notification popped up on the top of your screen: “@/eubanks_noen is requesting to message you”.

“He’s trying to DM me,” you whisper, so silently that you could barley hear yourself.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to DM me! On Twitter!”

“What are you doing talking to me?! Go answer his DM!”

You were too focused to laugh as you hung up the phone and went into your DMs. The familiar profile picture that you saw almost every day on your timeline was the first thing you saw in your message requests. Your whole body was shaking so much that you could barley see the screen as you pressed to open it.

“hi :)”

It was a very simple message, but it was enough to make your heart race even more.

You were debating on messaging back, wondering if maybe this was a fake account or something. But you knew there was only one way to find out for sure, so you took a deep breath and responded.

“hi! :)”

His response came near seconds later: “so...we’re the internet’s hottest power couple, huh?”

You chuckled to yourself. “i guess we are. sorry if i ruined your mentions last night. i didn’t think it would blow up the way it has. i’m not all that famous online.”

“are you kidding me? you’re like one of the best twitch streamers. i’ve watched every single one of your streams, including last night’s”

You felt your face heating up, but a slight groan of embarrassment came from your lips. You were thinking of all the embarrassing things you had said and done on stream, and now wished you could just melt into the floor or erase the entire internet.

“oh that’s embarrassing. i’d say i’m not that awkward and dumb in real life, but i’m actually more so”

“i wouldn’t say you’re awkward or dumb at all. i think you’re adorable”

“Oh my God!” you exclaimed to no one in particular. If your face got any hotter, it would be on fire.

“you really know how to talk to a girl”

“i really don’t, but i’m glad you’re enjoying my attempts to flirt”

“so you’re flirting? never would’ve known”

“i know, it’s hard to tell. i’m trying to be subtle”

You continued to message Noen for a while. It felt so natural, as if you weren’t talking to someone you had been crushing on for about a year now. You were extremely glad you weren’t coming off as awkward as you normally felt.

Finally, after having been sat on the floor for a good three hours, your back began to ache and your stomach was growling so loudly in attempts to get your attention. You realized then that you had put getting breakfast on hold in order to fall deep into the hole of internet gossip that had surrounded you overnight.

“love talking to you and all, but i’m gonna have to go for a little bit. i’ve been sat on the floor basically since i woke up and i haven’t eaten yet today so my stomach is very upset with me”

“why are you on the floor? 😂”

“when i’m stressed i tend to sit down no matter where i am, and i was very stressed to see my name plastered all over social media this morning”

“why were you stressed over that?”

“it’s not something i’m exactly used to. like i said, i’m not overly famous online. i just have a small following. i’m not someone who has an article written about every little thing she says. also like i said, i didn’t expect you to see me admit that i have a crush on you last night, so i was so worried about what your reaction was going to be”

“i guess i can understand that. i haven’t had a lot written about me. i’m not a big tiktoker like some of my friends are, but i guess that’s a blessing”

You started to type another message, but paused when you saw the three dots from Noen indicating that he was typing something else.

“for what it’s worth, i’ve had a internet crush on you since you first started streaming”

Your jaw dropped at this. You had started streaming months before you even knew about Noen, which meant he had known about you before you knew about him. Just when you thought this day couldn’t get any better.

“wow! that’s quite a while. you must be one of my first subscribers then”

“i’m up there i think. i’ll wear that badge with pride”

The three dots again. You waited anxiously to see what he was about to say.

“i liked getting to talk to you today, though. maybe we could talk offline sometime, like through text or phone call. maybe meet in person eventually”

Your smile was so wide that it hurt your cheeks. “yeah, i’d really like that”

You exchanged phone numbers and added his to your contacts. You finally pulled yourself off the floor and started making a super late breakfast while also starting to edit your next video since you had also gotten such a late start on that.

You were putting your food on a plate when your phone chimed, indicating a new text message.

“btw, it’s nice to finally get to meet you internet crush :)”

“it’s nice to get to meet you, too, internet crush”

You sat at the table, your heart feeling warm. And to think, it all came true thanks to one nosy donation.

Not sure how much I like this imagine, but I hope you enjoyed anyways!

[noona-clock]

What’s Your Sign?: Sagittarius

Genre: Celebrity!AU

Pairing: Choi Minho x You (Female!Reader)

Warnings: None

Words: 5,534

Author’s Note: Since I’m so fascinated by astrology, I decided to do a Zodiac series! I will be writing a one-shot fic for each sign featuring different members from different groups (and even an actor!). Each story will be posted on the 5th of the month during that sign’s season. Please reblog, comment, or send in an ask with your feedback! Thank you for your support 💜

Ever since you’d seen him in his first ever role on a television series about five years ago, you’d fallen in love with Minho.

Choi Minho, probably the most attractive man you’d ever seen. Through a screen, at least. You hadn’t yet been lucky enough to see him in person.

And since you’d fallen in love with him after watching his very first episode of that television series, you’d done nothing but support him for the last several years.

You saw every one of his movies the day it released in theatres. You watched every single episode of every single television show he appeared in -- even if he was just a guest star.

His popularity from his first role had soared pretty quickly, which was really a win/win scenario. Minho, who presumably had been a struggling actor previously, was now flush with offers from directors. And you, an immediate superfan, got to spend a lot of virtual time with your new favorite actor -- because, not only did he act in a very large handful of projects every year, he was also interviewed on talk shows, featured in magazines, walking the red carpet of premieres and award shows. He didn’t have a social media presence for some extremely odd reason, but you still felt like you knew him.

From everything you’d seen and read about him, Minho was outgoing, friendly, and charismatic. He was confident, straight-forward, and optimistic. He basically always had some version of a smile on his lips, and based on many posts in the Choi Minho subreddit, he never turned down an opportunity to meet a fan out in public.

He... was basically perfect.

And you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about one day meeting him, falling in love, getting married, and having about ten children together in the most beautiful house in the universe.

But, to be fair, your daydream wasn’t entirely impossible!

You were a bit of a celebrity, yourself!

Kind of.

On the Internet.

You had started a YouTube Channel six years ago, and at first, you hadn’t really had a clear vision for your videos. An absolutely rookie mistake, of course, but there’s nothing you could do about it now.

You’d started off with makeup tutorials because that had been the hottest YouTube trend at the time. But... you quickly discovered you weren’t as good at makeup as one should be to post a tutorial online in good conscience. You also weren’t quite good enough at doing your nails, cooking, or sewing to do videos about those.

For at least a few months, you’d been stumped. You knew you wanted your own YouTube channel -- you had a pretty fitting personality for it -- you just didn’t have any one marketable skill.

Until, one day, you stumbled upon a video of a guy watching a K-Pop music video for the first time and reacting to it. That was literally it. The whole video had been just him watching and talking about it.

And you were very good at that. You loved watching things on a screen -- YouTube videos, television shows, movies, you name it! And you always had thoughts running through your head while you watched something. In fact, you frequently wished one of your friends had exactly the same taste in music, shows, and movies as you so you could voice those thoughts aloud to someone who actually wanted to listen.

So, how had you never thought of doing that on your YouTube channel?! There was obviously a market for it -- the guy you’d watched had a few hundred thousand subscribers, and since it was something you genuinely enjoyed doing, you weren’t afraid of running out of content inspiration or motivation any time soon.

It was literally the perfect idea.

The next day, you had set up your camera, pulled up the first episode of your favorite television show of all time, and got to work. When you posted the video a few hours later (Re-watching my FAVORITE show of all time), something about it just felt right. Like the stars had aligned. No matter if you got five views or five thousand, you knew you were on the right path -- when it came to YouTube, at least.

Every day after that, you chose something else to watch -- a nostalgic movie, a viral YouTube video, the really cheesy musical episode of a television show. You tried to pick things from all along the spectrum, and you also tried to wait a few days in-between continuing on with your re-watch of your favorite show, simply for variety’s sake.

Little by little, your channel began to grow. After work, you would film, edit, and post -- every single day. On the weekends, you would film two different videos in case you ever needed to take a day off. Or in case you just felt like posting two videos!

Your first sponsorship offer email had come about six months after you’d posted your first video, and your eyes had nearly fell out of your head when you’d seen how much they’d offered you. (Looking back, your first paying YouTube gig really hadn’t been that much money -- compared to what you could make now, at least -- but it had still been incredibly thrilling.) And, really, that had been the catalyst of your YouTube career and popularity. It seemed just the one sponsorship had been all you’d needed to catch the attention of other brands who wanted to work with you, and when you got to the point where you could actually afford to quit your job and turn down sponsorship offers you weren’t wild about? That’s when you knew you’d made it.

Okay, but really, you knew you’d made it when one of your videos hit one million views for the first time (a video of you watching a particularly cringe-worthy teen movie from about ten years ago).

And now, six years later, you had almost four million subscribers, and your most viewed video had almost twenty million views. Sometimes, you still couldn’t believe it!

The highlight of your time on YouTube so far -- at least, in your eyes -- had been when you’d seen Choi Minho for the first time about a year after starting your channel. You’d still had less then one-hundred thousand subscribers back then, so if anyone ever left on a comment on a video mentioning how long you’d been a Minho fangirl or remembering when you first discovered him, you knew they were an OG subscriber. But ever since that video, you did absolutely nothing to hide your affinity for him, both as an actor and as a person. You watched and reacted to every single one of his movies and every single television show episode -- you even sometimes reacted to interviews or videos other fans had made about him.

Even when your channel hit some pretty big milestones -- five-hundred thousand subscribers, one million, two million, three million subscribers -- you never played it cool when it came to Choi Minho. You switched up your content and your editing style here and there, but one constant on your YouTube channel was the fact you let your inner fangirl shine for all the world to see.

In fact, just last month, the trailer for his new movie dropped, and you were able to upload your reaction to it within two hours. Since then, you’d read and watched every interview you could find, favorited every tweet about the upcoming film, and liked every post on the #ChoiMinho hashtag on Instagram. Since he had no social media, you had to be satisfied with other people’s content rather than his own.

You were scrolling through his hashtag on Instagram right now, actually, as you procrastinated getting out of bed to go set up for another day of filming.

Now that you had almost four million subscribers and were approached by more than several companies for sponsorships every single day, you were able to focus on your channel full-time. You definitely got cabin fever from time to time, but it was worlds better than filming after work and on weekends. Now, you could actually take a day off whenever you wanted! It was glorious!

But you still procrastinated working. You were still human, after all.

After you caught up on his hashtag and liked just about every picture you could, you navigated to your inbox to look through your DMs. Over the years, it had gotten pretty easy to skip past the spam and sugar daddy requests (which were plentiful, unfortunately), so you no longer dreaded checking the unread messages. You could usually tell which ones to delete straight away from the profile picture and first few words alone.

To be quite honest, you really only opened ones where you either could tell someone was genuinely reaching out to say hi or thank you for posting your videos or... messages with Minho’s name visible in the preview. Shameless, but oh well!

After deleting a few messages at the top which were clearly spam, the next one you came to was actually one of those messages -- you saw ‘Minho’ in the preview. It was the very first word, even! And in all caps.

You pressed on it as quickly as you could.

And when your eyes took in the rest of the message... your heart stopped.

MINHO WATCHED ONE OF YOUR VIDEOS!

...This had to be a prank, right?

But right after the message in all capital letters was a link to a YouTube video, and the preview for the video was right below the message.

It was one of those videos put out by a big fashion magazine where celebrities watch videos about them and react to it. Usually, musicians and singers would react to covers of their songs by fans, but every once in a while, actors would read tweets or watch fanmade videos about them.

And when you clicked on the link this person had sent, the video opened in your YouTube app to show the title “Choi Minho Watches Fan Videos on YouTube,” and your eyes widened.

If what the Instagram message said was true... Minho had watched not only a fan video... but your fan video. And since his movie was premiering in just a couple of days, he had most likely watched your reaction to the trailer.

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Since the video had started automatically after clicking the link, you took a deep breath and concentrated all of your focus on your phone screen. You were not going to miss the part where he watched your video.

But, of course, after not even thirty seconds, you found you had already gotten distracted by how handsome he looked.

You quickly shook your head a bit, widening your eyes briefly before narrowing them to focus on your screen again. “Come on, Y/N,” you muttered to yourself. “You can watch it again right after this to admire him.”

It was only a fifteen-minute video, so it’s not like you had to wait forever to get to the part where he watched you!

Still, though, as the minutes ticked by, you felt your heart begin to race in anticipation.

What would he say about you? Would he find your obsession with him creepy? I mean, it had to be a little creepy watching someone squeal and profess their love for you -- someone you’d never met!

But, then... when you got really mushy comments... most of the time, it didn’t feel creepy. It just felt sweet, and you were incredibly grateful that a lot of your subscribers and viewers were so supportive.

Ugh! You were getting off track again!

You shook your head once more and set your gaze back onto your phone screen.

Finally, when the clip of Minho watching a fanmade music video transitioned into the clip of him watching your video, your breath caught in your throat.

Were you going to survive this?

Outcome is unclear.

“Oh, yeah, I know her,” Minho said as your trailer reaction video began to play in the corner. “She’s the reaction girl, right?”

Your jaw dropped.

................Excuse me?!

Minho knew you?!

As you watched Minho watching you with the most adorable soft grin on his lips, your hand slowly crept up to cover your mouth in shock.

And, then, when you in the video paused the trailer to bring up another one of his movies that this trailer had reminded you of, his grin widened and he looked very pleased. “She knows her stuff, huh?”

You heard someone behind the camera murmuring something, and subtitles appeared on the screen. “She’s a known superfan, actually.”

Minho’s brow furrowed and he leaned toward the camera. “She’s what?”

“A superfan,” the person repeated, a little bit louder. “She’s known to her viewers for watching all of your movies and shows. There are always comments about you on all of her videos.”

Minho’s eyes widened a little in surprise. “Really? All of them? Comments about me?” He leaned back and nodded slowly after, apparently, receiving a positive answer. “I had no idea. I’ve just seen her videos about, like, the cheesy teen movies we watched as kids.”

You truly almost dropped your phone.

So... he knew who you were, but he hadn’t known that you fangirled over him on a regular basis?

First of all, how was that possible?

Second of all, did it really matter?! He knew who you were!

He knew who you were!

You didn’t expect that he regularly watched your videos, but still.

HE KNEW WHO YOU WERE!

Your heart was practically beating out of your chest as you watched him finish up watching your reaction video. The look on his face was one of delight, and even though you knew he was a good actor, it sure didn’t seem like he was simply pretending not to be creeped out.

“She’s so fun,” he smiled as your video ended, his gaze shifting back to the person he had spoken with earlier. “She has more? Like, for my movies?”

The person mumbled something back, and this time, there were no subtitles on the bottom of the video. But Minho’s eyebrows shot up immediately.

“All of my movies?” he asked. And then he let out a joyous chuckle and added, “No way.”

He quickly turned to the computer and clicked on your channel name.

But the video transitioned into another clip of someone else’s video, so you didn’t get to see if he actually watched any other ones.

Even if he hadn’t, you were still overjoyed -- to say the least -- that he had watched just one!

He knew who you were! He had actually known who you were before this which was probably the most surprising thing you’d ever heard in your entire life. (Besides the fact that Minho was currently single. That was definitely more surprising than anything.)

After sitting in your bed for a few minutes, staring blankly at your screen as the video finished up, your gaze unfocused and blurry, you finally came to when you realized the video had ended.

And then you proceeded to freak out.

You squealed and shrieked and kicked your legs and rolled around and scrambled to your feet to jump up and down on your bed with glee.

Was this the best day of your life?

Quite possibly!

Once you’d calmed down just a tad, you plopped back into a sitting position, crossing your legs into a pretzel as you navigated back to Instagram.

You sent a reply to the person who’d sent you the video (”OH MY GOD THANK YOU HE KNOWS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”) and then refreshed your inbox.

As expected, a whole new slew of messages came through and literally every single one seemed to be about the video.

Your lips split into a huge grin, and just before you clicked on a random one to read and reply to it... you noticed that one message had a blue check by the sender.

Pausing, you shifted your gaze to that message.

And your heart jumped up into your throat when you recognized the name of the account.

Obviously, it wasn’t Minho himself because he didn’t have one.

But it was the next best thing.

His management company.

You followed them, of course, and liked every single picture about him or with him. Of course!

But you had never gathered up the courage to message them. You’d had no reason to! What would you have said?

And now they were messaging you.

The several days following the video of Minho watching your video had been... a blur. To say the least.

You still weren’t even really sure how you’d gotten here.

I mean, you knew you were here because Minho’s management company had direct messaged you on Instagram inviting you to the premiere of his movie and you had accepted without one millisecond of hesitation and then you’d gotten on a plane a couple of days later and then checked into a super nice hotel and had a stylist and makeup artist sent to your room and after many hours you now looked better than you ever had in your entire life.

That’s how you got here.

But you still weren’t even really sure how you’d gotten here.

A rather large stroke of luck?

Good karma?

Hard work to grow your YouTube channel into something that would make you more easily recognizable by actual celebrities and their management companies?

Or a combination of the three?

Either way, you were overwhelmed with gratitude, and you knew you would never be able to forget this experience -- even if you, for some odd reason, wanted to.

I mean, you were currently in a really nice car, and the driver (yes, you had a driver!) was taking you to the red carpet.

The red carpet!

An actual movie premiere! With an actual red carpet!

And the movie was Minho’s movie.

You were at the premiere of Minho’s movie.

Oh my god, what if you saw him?!

As the car rolled to a stop in front of a crowded theatre, your heart and stomach dropped down to your very expensive and gorgeous shoes.

You’d gone to somewhat fancy events before -- it came with the job of being a YouTuber -- but never anything like this. Never an actual movie premiere. Never the chance of seeing your favorite actor in the history of time. And, obviously, never walking a red carpet.

Your door magically opened just as the car stopped moving, and a hand popped out of nowhere to assist you in exiting the vehicle. As gracefully as you could, you slipped your fingers into the mysterious palm, allowing it to gently pull you up and out of your seat and onto the sidewalk.

Almost immediately, camera clicks, light bulb flashes, and inquiring voices filled the air.

Cameras and lights in your face, you were used to. It was your everyday life, in fact!

But... all these people? Looking at you? Watching you? Taking pictures of you?

I mean, yeah, a few million people watched your videos. But it was absolutely not the same as a hundred or so reporters and photographers standing right in front of you.

Thankfully, some short but very powerful woman guided you onto the red carpet, muttering to you that all you had to do was stand in front of the backdrop, pose and smile for the cameras, and then move on to the next mark. Some reporters from news and entertainment channels would be waiting along the way to interview you (which didn’t scare you quite so much as you’d been interviewed a few times before), and all in all, it would take about an hour.

But it took you way less than an hour to discover that walking a red carpet is not as glamorous as it looks on television.

Walking like your shoes were covered in almost-frozen molasses so every photo taken was a good one. Switching back and forth between facial expressions so every photo taken wasn’t the same one. And do you know how many good places there are to put your hands when posing for a picture? Exactly two. One was on your hip and the other at your side. That was it. Definitely not clasped in front of or behind you, and definitely not tucking your hair behind your ear.

And just when you were sort of getting used to the constant posing for pictures, another short but powerful woman gently grabbed your arms and led you to a reporter from the most-watched entertainment news channel in the country.

“Hello, hello!” the perky reporter chirped as you approached her. “Come on over here!”

“Hi,” you greeted awkwardly as you made your way to the small mark on the ground next to her, holding up your skirt with one hand so you wouldn’t trip.

“Y/N! Good evening, good evening, how are you doing?” she asked before sticking the microphone in your face.

You had to quickly get over the shock of her knowing your name since you didn’t want to look like a fool on live television, so you forced a grin on your lips and answered, “I’m pretty overwhelmed, actually!” you chuckled.

“Is this your first time at a red carpet?”

“It is, yes,” you confirmed with a slight nod. “And I’m so used to being alone in my house, talking to myself in front of a camera, so this is all new territory for me.”

The reporter laughed with delight before asking which designer you were wearing. You answered her with ease since your stylist had drilled it into your brain before you’d left the hotel.

Then, after she asked you to tell the folks at home what you’re known for, she said, “It’s a pretty fun story of how you got here, isn’t it?”

“Oh, it is,” you answered, your lips pulling into a shy but excited grin. “I woke up one morning to a message on Instagram, and someone had sent me --”

The reporter interrupted you then, and you noticed her gaze was directed over your shoulder. You turned to look, and --

Well, the next few moments happened so quickly, you really had no idea how you reacted.

“Y/N!” Minho called out, smiling widely and waving before reaching out and sliding his hands over your shoulders. He stood next to you, squeezing you once before letting his arms drop down to his side. “I’m so sorry for interrupting --”

“No, we were just talking about why she’s here at your premiere!”

Minho’s smile brightened even more, and he continued on with the story you’d been telling.

Meanwhile, you were standing there. Mute. Staring at him.

Because oh my god.

How was it actually possible that Minho was more handsome in real life?

But also, how was it actually possible that Minho was standing next to you in real life?

But also also, how was it actually possible that Minho was real?

That’s the real question, isn’t it?

You came to when you heard him say, “Yes, this is our first time meeting,” before turning to you and holding out his hand for a handshake. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

You took his hand, shaking it weakly, and said the first thing that came to your mind: “Oh my god, hi.”

The reporter giggled, but Minho, instead of acting embarrassed for you, simply let go of your hand and moved to pull you into a hug.

Holy cannoli, Minho was hugging you.

Choi Minho. Was hugging. You.

Hugging!

You!

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” he repeated with a grin after pulling away, though he was still incredibly close to you and gazing at you with those sparkling, dreamy eyes of his.

“You, too,” you managed to reply shakily.

The reporter then went on to interview Minho, asking him who had designed his suit, what his character in this new movie was like, and if he was working on any new projects.

“I’m in the early stages of something, yes,” he answered. “I don’t think I can say too much more, but in the meantime, I think I’d really like to film some videos with Y/N, branch out onto social media.”

Your heart stopped, and you knew your facial expression was doing nothing to hide your surprise.

Minho then turned to you with an adorably guilty look on his face. “I mean, if it’s alright with you, of course.”

“Yes, absolutely!” you burst out immediately, and the reporter giggled once again.

“Well, there you have it, guys,” she said after turning to face the camera. “You heard it here first -- a brand new collaboration in the works, so keep an eye out.”

She turned to you then and asked you to remind the viewers of the name of your YouTube channel. You leaned into the microphone and silently praised the lord you were able to remember it.

“Thanks so much, you two,” the reporter said with a very peppy grin. “Have a wonderful evening!”

“You, as well,” Minho answered before putting a hand in-between your shoulder blades and guiding you back to the red carpet.

Wait, he was guiding you back to the red carpet? He wasn’t... leaving?

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured in your ear, his breath causing the most delicious tingle down your spine. “I swear I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just wanted to meet you --”

“No,” you shook your head slightly. “It’s -- it’s totally fine. It wasn’t rude at all. I’m -- I just -- I’m a little overwhelmed. In a good way!”

“Totally understand. I remember my first movie premiere like it was yesterday, I know exactly how you’re feeling.”

You simply let out a nervous chuckle, but then Minho did something to make you even more nervous (which you hadn’t even been sure was possible).

He bent his arm and held out the crook of his elbow toward you.

“Shall we?”

Okay, you were now convinced this was a dream. This was all a wonderful, perfect, heavenly dream.

There was just no way that any of this could happen in real life! Being invited to Minho’s movie premiere was one thing, but him interrupting your interview on the red carpet and mentioning he wanted to film a YouTube video with you? Him offering to actually walk the red carpet with you on his arm?!

Nope. Definitely not real.

So, since this was absolutely a dream, you figured you’d just go with it!

“We shall,” you replied as a soft smile tugged at the corners of your lips.

You slid your hand into the crook of Minho’s elbow, and the two of you slowly made your way down the red carpet. Together.

It didn’t take long for you to be awed by his professionalism. When the cameras began to flash, he posed like a natural. It seemed so easy for him, but you figured it probably was easy after going through this so many times. 

He murmured helpful hints and reassuring words to you as you struggled through, and he even insisted on doing his interviews with you by his side.

(Of course, before the two of you approached each reporter, he asked you quietly if you would rather have the spotlight all to yourself. He didn’t want to usurp your first experience on the red carpet and would gladly step away so you could finish the process on your own. You declined every single time.)

When you finally reached the entrance to the theatre about an hour later, you figured Minho would say it had been nice to meet you and be on his way.

But you should’ve remembered that this was a dream!

“Do you want to come inside? We can sit together during the movie if you want. I mean, you’re pretty much my unofficial date already, but you can absolutely say ‘no’ if you don’t --”

“I would love to,” you interrupted, your voice more sure and firm than it had been all evening.

But hearing your favorite actor and biggest crush of all time declare that you were his date for the night would do that to you. Plus, Minho literally exuded confidence and warmth -- you’d always thought so while watching him on a screen, and it was both relieving and exciting to learn he was exactly the same in real life.

Minho smiled at you and then led you into the theatre, your heart now basically in a constant state of flips and somersaults.

Once the two of you took your seats in front of the screen, Minho turned slightly toward you.

“I have to admit, I’ve been watching your videos a lot since I filmed the reaction for the magazine,” he said with the most attractive half-smile you’d ever seen in your life. “Seriously, thank you so much for being so supportive.”

“Oh my god, no, thank you,” you replied breathlessly. “I can’t believe you watched my videos.”

“They’re kind of addicting,” he chuckled. “I don’t know what it is, but I definitely understand why you have so many subscribers. I actually created my own YouTube account just so I could subscribe to you.”

Your eyes widened, and your heart actually stopped somersaulting because it stopped beating altogether.

“Are you serious?” you asked.

“You’re so entertaining! It feels like watching those movies and shows with a friend. And I like how you’re really honest but still nice about it. You don’t seem to have a cruel bone in your body.”

“Uh, no, I think you’re getting me mixed up with yourself,” you replied with a somewhat awkward laugh.

Minho simply grinned at you, and the somersaults started back up inside your chest.

“I was serious about wanting to film with you, though,” he said, eyebrows raised earnestly. “I would love to collab --”

“Yes, absolutely,” you reassured him as fervently as you could. “Literally whenever. Please. Yes.”

“Okay, good,” Minho chuckled before reaching into his pocket and sliding out his phone. “Here, give me your number so I can let you know when I’m free next.”

You hesitated before accepting his phone because...

What?!

Minho was giving you his phone. His actual phone. So you could put in your number? Your number?

This night just kept getting more and more unbelievable.

But you were never in a million years going to pass up the opportunity to give Choi Minho your phone number, so you took his phone and quickly added yourself as a contact.

“Perfect,” Minho murmured, almost to himself, when you handed his phone back to him. He looked at the screen for a few moments, and you noticed a soft grin pulling at his lips. And then he shifted his gaze over to you and said, “I can’t wait.”

And... as your eyes locked on his...

You had a moment.

A moment.

One of those moments you will never, ever forget as long as you lived.

One of those moments where your future basically flashed before your eyes.

Minho arriving at your house to film a video with you, a friendship forming, late night texts and phone conversations, going out to restaurants whenever he was in town... a more than friendship forming.

And you truly could’ve sworn this was not just your heart wishing, but... you honestly felt like you were going to marry this man.

“I can’t either,” you replied softly just before the lights went down.

The first thing you did when you got home was set up your camera and film a video relaying everything about your experience at Minho’s movie premiere.

Of course, you didn’t mention The Moment -- y’know, the moment you had when you realized you were most probably going to marry him? And you could just feel that it wasn’t wishful thinking? You figured it was probably best to keep that to yourself for now.

But everything else you shared with your subscribers, and you did nothing to hide how wonderful and magical it had all been -- and it had really been Minho which had made it so perfect.

“And you guys, he is truly exactly the same in person as he seems in, like, interviews and stuff. He’s so nice and so friendly and so warm and so gracious and --”

But you were interrupted by a text message.

Most of the time, you left your phone on silent as you filmed, but you’d been too excited to get all of your thoughts out that you’d forgotten to switch the sound off before turning the camera on.

“Whoops,” you murmured as you reached for your phone on your desk in front of you.

Instead of simply turning your phone on silent, though, the actual text message you’d received caught your eye and was too intriguing to ignore.

It was from a number you didn’t have saved, but your instinct to read the first few words of a message from an unknown sender took over... and you were incredibly glad it did.

Because the message was:

Hey, it’s Minho 😁 Are you free next week?

OTHER SIGNS: ARIES, TAURUS, GEMINI, CANCER, LEO, VIRGO, LIBRA, SCORPIO, CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, PISCES

[nightswithkookmin]

Dear new friend,

I just finished reading your messages. First of all, thank you. I think I would have been less traumatized out here if a lot of people took to sharing their thoughts on matters such as these in the manner in which you do.

I think I set myself up too because I be wanting to participate in certain topics and discussions and so often I find myself trying to sieve through the vitriol and pejoratives.

The gender of the word is feminine not masculine. I don’t see how that is misinformation.

"Sorry, the misinformation bit was because I was thinking about that tweet that went viral about this word being used only for woman. The person said it was an adjective, and you said it was an adjective, so I thought you were basing this information on that tweet. That day was crazy, some people spread this, wanted to change his pronouns, trend a hashtag and were saying he had came out... This was too much. And the "debunked" thing was about this tweet, as well. Not about the words being feminine and masculine. That's a fact, you're right."

I had no idea a tweet went viral like that claiming he wanted to change his pronouns. That's wild and I disagree. Lol. I think I've always maintained he uses He/him pronouns and said time and again I do not think he wants to be emasculated at all. As I said, that would have made him transgender not bigender and thus defeat the purpose. To be bigender he has to be two genders at the same time not one.

But I have been following the discussions on this topic on the bird app and I try my best to bring nuance to certain discussions. I try. Lol.

I take note of the differences between your language and Latin as you rightly pointed out. But I also do see the similarities and I think the explanation you gave and the examples you provided gives me a better understanding of the language structure.

"Yeah, totally fine hahah We tend to interpret things according to our own experiences; for me, a gendered word is part of my daily life, normal, and I don't bat an eye about it. Is just a word, the importance is in its meaning ─ and it suits filter SOOO well. For you, it's something more. At the end of the day, art is here to be interpreted, and if Jimin doesn't explicitly explain the filter performance, tattoos, set, outfits... It's open for interpretation. (And I'm not a person that tries to find hidden meanings. I simply enjoy what I enjoy. I have this thing about being as accurate as possible, so I try to stick to facts (like: I don't feel comfortable saying he chose these words, because I don't know if HE was the person that chose it (in the sense that he was the one that bring it up to the staff/company). Maybe someone else showed it to him and he was like: "Nice! I want it!". But I feel okay saying he's had a tattoo with these words (A fact). Also I don't make a big deal of most things ─ for me Jimin is Jimin and I'm supporting him regardless, he's precious)

(But Memories 2020 is coming and I'm almost sure they are going to show filter behind the scenes!!!! So we're going to understand better this masterpiece (I HOPE SO))

I understand what you mean. Some people are inclined towards taking the literal meaning of texts or in this case art and not read much into situations beyond what is presented at face value- not me🤣🤣🤣🤣

I do the magnifying glass and errthang👁

I think humans are complex and there's always a possibility of a psychological and or pathological stimulus underscoring their behaviors, choices and actions in most cases.

But that aside, I think it's easier to take a heteronormative view on things sometimes because cis straight has always been the norm even in appreciating art- but truth is, coding and co opting codified expressions is almost always part of queer culture and behavior too. If any other queer celebrity had used that expression, I would be reading much into it too beyond its semantics.

For me it's simple, would I be reading too too much into the language and art choice of someone I thought was cis straight? Hell No. Straight is boring and blunt as fuck.

Unless of course they were being intentionally witty or secretive about something, I'd assume and expect their expressions to be pretty much straight forward- generally. I went home to be would mean just that.

If I sensed the author were queer coding Home would mean something else entirely to be. Home becomes a symbol not a word. And if he chose to write that in Latin and not the language they spoke naturally, I'd assume there's something about that language that he likes and perhaps uses to code a queer message.

For closeted queer people who live in a world where they are constantly coerced to take on a duality and have an expressional alter egos- two identical identities with one being the facade and pretense through which they openly and largely perform normalcy of self, the other being their real self which they tuck away because it is inconsistent with the acceptable norms- I'd a take a very different approach to their art. But that's me.

If a straight person said they needed escape, it would mean something totally different to me than say if a queer person said they needed escape. Because those two are escaping two very different things.

For example, the words Moon and moonlight used by a straight person means nothing to me- perhaps because I just don't care much to look for its deeper meaning beyond the literal meaning of the words as presented. If it appears in a queer person's parlance, even if in passing, I assume immediately they are referencing something much more deeper, meaningful and coded.

Queer coding is a thing you know? And it's born out of necessity not choice sometimes.

Take for instance BTS's proclivity to 'queer codify' their music. Moon and moonlight has become symbolic of the inner struggles of a queer person amongst black 'educated' queer men and women. It's come to symbolize cultural norms and expectations and how those affect queer people- perhaps of all race.

In the Movie Moonlight, which has become the epitome of queer black struggles and desires for liberation, this motif was used to represent the struggles of a black boy dealing with the pressures of a hyper masculine society.

When RM references this in 4 Oclock, 'the whole world is blue under the moonlight' is he queer coding or just appropraiting queer parlance as buzz word? That expression takes on a whole new meaning were he queer. Blue symbolizes queerness- a theory popularized of course by the Film. When V who once wrote an allegedly 'queer coded song' Stigma says he is blue- what does he mean now? On the surface blue means blue. Would you take a straightforward view on this or assume its symbolic? And what is it symbolic of?? Sadness?? Gayness?

If RM had an accompanying tattoo as compliment to the song in his performance that evoked similar sentiments or hinted at a possible second meaning I wouldn't assume that that tattoo meant nothing or that it didn't have a deeper meaning behind it.

It's just as how Lil Nas X posted a city of rainbows and people said 'rainbows are rainbows. Y'all shouldn't read much into it.' But for queer people that was pretty much a declaration of his sexuality.

Later he had to post again and reiterate that that rainbow post was his coming out moment. 'I thought I made it obvious.'

Somethings are pretty much obvious.

For JM who don't speak Latin- unless he is secretly fluent in which case my bad- I don't think he cares so much about the grammar of the language beyond it's meaning. And perhaps gender? Grammatical gender I mean. That's just because the first thing you learn about Latin is that all the nouns are gendered?

I won't lie. When I first learned that I was supper fascinated about grammatical gender and why speakers of the language felt a need to gender every word of the language.

In the end, we all don't know. I'm out here convinced two Asian men are so gay they can't straight to save their asses. I have a tendency to view everything they do through queer lens. If they are not gay I'm pretty much gaslighting them you know?

I'm always fascinated by different point of views on a myriad of subjects. Just as you said, our diverse experiences inform our experiences and perspectives. I just hope people acknowledge how their straightness informs their understanding of queerness too and how that has a tendency to be invalidating and dismissive of queer issues and experiences.

But to me it's like, if Jikook are gay why do you have to interpret what they do through straight lens?

Personally, I wouldn't interpret straight through queer lens and force that view on to straight people. That would be homonormative? Assuming rainbow means straight people are gay when they are not, moon means feminine to straight men, that the use of the word God makes one a Christian- that's just silly and bizarre.

I use Namaste often and suddenly some people here think I'm Indian. I wish. They have one hell of a culture.

When I was reading through your messages, all that kept playing in my head was- that's a very 'straight' view on the matter. Lol. Please tell me you got the pun. Lol.

I think my opinion will remain the same on the matter if you placed any queer person in Jimin's stead. Any queer person that I believed was queer and had hinted a few times at exploring a dual identity or going through that phase at least.

I think I'd enjoy your blog if you had one.

I love love the lesson on Italian or is it Spanish?

Also, I would love your take on V and Stigma. A lot of queer stans have a queer reading of the lyrics- I see the appeal however I don't have a queer reading of it at all. Thoughts??

Namaste.

Signed,

GOLDY

[hyuniepot]

the butterfly effect. || chapter one

chapter word count || 3,214

genre || thriller, angst, drama

members || mark lee, na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun, lee donghyuck, zhong chenle, park jisung

warnings || mentions of death, implications of depression

pairing || fem!reader x jaemin || slight fem!reader x mark

synopsis || you never thought you’d be able to play with fate so easily, especially not through some shady app. but you suddenly must say goodbye to what you know and hello to a new world where everything seems perfect.

a/n || reposting this chapter because tumblr made it glitch out for some reason ;-; praying everything works out this time!! as always, send me a message or an ask to be added to the taglist.

You used to be scared of butterflies.

You used to be scared of butterflies.

You used to be scared of butterflies.

Yes, the thought of it is silly, but you were. You didn’t like bugs at all, the pretty ones included. The thought of them crawling on your skin made you ill. But there was one thing you loved, and that was your friend, Mark. And unlike you, Mark loved butterflies. So when he asked you to go to a butterfly exhibit with him, you sucked it up and said yes.

And you realized that day that butterflies were beautiful. They were harmless, and you giggled as they landed on you, excitedly showing Mark as you conquered your fear of them. Mark helped you conquer a lot of your fears.

And ever since he left, you felt more fearful than ever. Losing him made you realize how fragile life really was, and you hated it. You hated feeling like everything was on the verge of being lost.

“You good?” you jump at the sound of Jaemin’s voice in your ear. You blink, realizing you had completely zoned out. You were sitting next to him on the bus to school. You quickly glance out the window once more. The butterfly you had been admiring was gone.

You nod. “I’m okay. Just tired.” you respond.

Jaemin grins and grabs onto your hand. “Okay. Just checking in.” he says softly. “Um, we’re all gonna get food after school if you wanna come. It’s just a really nice day, it’d be a shame not to go out in it, you know?”

Truth be told, you had been feeling weird lately, and going out with your friends (or, to be more accurate — your boyfriend and his friends that you were friends with by association) was probably what you needed. “That sounds nice.”

The bus had arrived at school. Jaemin stands and picks up his bag, letting you out in front of him. You exit the bus and you’re met with the warm air enveloping you, the sun hitting your eyes and making you squint. Jaemin exits the bus as well, his frame blocking the sun from blinding you. He puts his arm around you, and you grab onto his hand out of instinct.

“Hey guys, got room for more?” you feel another arm around your shoulder.

“Hyuck, no. You’re gross.” Jaemin groans, rolling his eyes.

Hyuck gasps dramatically. “That’s mean. You didn’t even consult with your girlfriend first.”

You smile. “Sorry, Hyuck. But I’m only interested in Jaemin.” you tell him.

Hyuck removes his arm from your shoulder and crosses his arms. “What a low blow…” he mutters. Hyuck was your childhood friend. He grew up with you and Mark. He was like a happy virus, and you weren’t sure if you would have survived losing Mark if he hadn’t been there for you.

You giggle. “Sorry to break your heart.”

“You’d think after months of being rejected he’d give up, but he’s a trooper.” Jaemin adds.

Hyuck rolls his eyes this time. “It’s only because you guys are gross and kissy-kissy in public. We’re in school,” he says, moving away from his spot next to you. He puts himself in between you and Jaemin. “Leave room for Jesus.”

“Oh my god, Hyuck,” you laugh. “You are so annoying. You’re lucky you’re my best friend.” you tell him.

Hyuck grins and sticks out his tongue, turning down a hallway as you guys pass it. “You’re damn right you’re lucky,” he calls. “I’ll see you guys later!”

Jaemin shakes his head, laughing. “He’s such a weirdo. Love him, though.”

You reach your locker and lean against it. “He is. You learn how to deal with him after so long. I’ll meet you outside the entrance doors after school. Do you guys know where you’re going to eat?”

Jaemin leans up against the locker next to yours. “Nah, not yet. We’ll figure it out before the day ends.” he tells you. “You have a good day, alright?” he pecks your cheek.

You smile. “I will.” Jaemin gives you one last grin before turning and continuing down the hallway.

[12:39 p.m.]

“What kind of weird shit do you read at night?” Naeun asks, scowling at Jiwoo.

“It’s not weird!” Jiwoo cries, turning her phone screen towards the dark-haired girl. “There’s real proof!”

“What are you guys talking about?” you ask, taking a seat next to Naeun.

“Apparently there’s an app that can change your fate,” Sungyeon speaks up, holding back a laugh. “Jiwoo found it.”

Jiwoo turns her attention towards you. “See! You’ll believe me, right?” she turns her phone to you.

You furrow your brows and decide not to answer her question. You read the article she had pulled up.

According to the 13-year-old who downloaded the app, ButterFly, his wish came true a mere 3 hours after sending it into the ButterFly HQ. The young boy wished for his cat to come back to life, who had been dead for nearly a month. A few hours later, a cat showed up at the boy’s window. It was identical to the one the boy had.

ButterFly, a self-proclaimed life changing app has been growing in popularity as people hope to change their past. But the real question is, does this app really change a life or is it simply coincidence?

“Jiwoo…” you say softly.

“Come on,” she whines. “I can’t be the only one who thinks it could actually be real!”

“I’m afraid you are.” Sungyeon tells her, taking a bite of her food. “It’s just a coincidence. The only success story they have is something so… normal.”

“If they want to impress me, they have to come up with something way more exciting than a kid finding his cat.” Naeun says.

Jiwoo pouts, turning off her phone. “But… it’d just be so cool if it was real.”

“I agree, but an app should never be trusted for something like that. Plus, if an app had the powers to change the trajectory of someone’s life, wouldn’t the butterfly effect happen?” you asked.

“She’s right,” Naeun says. “Fate is not something to play around with.”

Dejected, Jiwoo surrenders and turns her attention back to finishing her lunch.

“What is that again?” Sungyeon asks. “The butterfly effect?”

“The idea that even tiny changes can make huge and unexpected changes,” you explain. “Like a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a typhoon.”

“Hmm,” Sungyeon hums. “That’s interesting.”

“Yeah, like if Jiwoo was born as a boy, maybe she’d be dating you and you’d be a millionaire for some reason.” Naeun takes a drink from her water bottle.

“What?” Sungyeon cringes.

“Hey, what’s that face for?” Jiwoo cries. “I think I’d be a cute boy.”

You laugh and shake your head as your friends continue to playfully banter about who would be the cutest boy in a parallel universe.

[3:30 p.m.]

You stand by the entrance doors, rocking back and forth on your heels. You try not to look too awkward as you wait for Jaemin and his friends. You wave to Naeun as she leaves, and are relieved when Jaemin appears a few moments later. He immediately spots you and makes his way to you, smiling. His friends, Jeno and Renjun walk behind him with Hyuck, loudly talking about something.

“Hi,” Jaemin says. “Did you have a good day?”

You grin. “It was fine. How about you?” you start walking away from school, taking hold of his hand.

“It was good. I have some annoying homework, but…” he trails off.

Renjun suddenly runs past you, turning around with a disgusted look on his face. “Hyuck, for the last time, I will not hold your hand!”

You turn your head to see a pouty Hyuck. “I just wanted to fit in!”

You laugh and roll your eyes, turning your head back towards the sidewalk in front of you. You all make your way to a nearby restaurant. You sat next to Jaemin in a booth and Jeno, Renjun, and Hyuck all squeezed into the one across from you. You all ordered drinks.

“Oh, Jaemin,” Jeno says, picking his bag up from the floor. He pulls out a notebook and hands it to Jaemin. “Thanks for your notes.”

Jaemin nods. “No problem.”

“Jeno,” Renjun says, shaking his head. “You’re never gonna learn if you keep copying Jaemin’s notes.”

Jeno shrugs. “It’s not like I do it all the time,” he says, defending himself.

“You borrow my notes, too, though… so Renjun kinda has a point.” Hyuck says, leaning back as the waitress sets his drink down in front of him.

You pull out your phone as the boys argue yet again just to see what was happening on your social media. It was mostly random tweets and posts from people you knew, but there was something that caught your eye. It was a promoted post from ButterFly. It had no likes or anything, despite being promoted to your Twitter timeline. And it wasn’t just one. After a few scrolls, you saw another ad from the app, just with a different caption. You saw another one before shaking your head and exiting the app. You opened Instagram, just to be met with the same ad.

Don’t be afraid. Having the chance to change your fate is much more fun than you think.

The caption sent chills down your spine. It didn’t sound like something that should be promoted. You clicked the link the ad provided, but it simply took you to the app store. Your curiosity was getting the best of you. You wanted to download the app, but something was holding you back.

Jaemin nudged your shoulder, making you jump.

“Huh?” you ask. Everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Do you want something to eat?” Jaemin asked.

“Oh,” you look at the waitress next to the table, notebook and pen in hand. “I’m okay.” you reply.

The waitress nods before turning around and entering the kitchen. You stand up from your seat at the booth. “I need to go to the bathroom.” You shoved your phone into a pocket on your bookbag and rushed to the bathroom.

You shut the door behind you, walking to the sink. You looked at yourself. You looked tired, disheveled. You couldn’t get rid of the feeling you had felt since waking up. You could barely even describe it. It almost felt like dread, but it was more of an unexplainable sadness. Not even being with your friends seemed to help it. You turned on the water, splashing your cheeks with cold water. How had you been so enchanted by the ads of that app that you had become completely oblivious to what was going on around you?

You dried your face before you heard a small knock on the door. “Hey, are you okay?” You opened the door and saw Jaemin. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern.

You forced a smile and nodded. “Yeah, sorry…” you say, stepping out of the bathroom.

“You’ve been acting… strange today. No offense,” Jaemin says.

“None taken,” you sigh. “I know I have. Everything just feels off today, I don’t know why.” You tell him.

Jaemin puts his arm around you and you both begin walking back to the table the others were at. “It’s okay to feel that way… I think everyone does. It just sucks to watch you feel so sad.” Jaemin says. He sighs. “I really hope you start feeling better soon. I miss hearing your laugh.”

You smile. “I miss it too,” you say, reaching the table. Jaemin scoots into the booth and you follow after. You try to ignore the horrible feeling in the pit of your stomach and have a good afternoon with your friends. You ended up starting to feel better. You stole some of Hyuck’s food after panicking and not ordering some of your own. You laughed at everyone’s jokes and dumb arguments, and before you knew it, an hour had passed. You all decided to stop being a bother and leave. You waited outside as everyone paid; Jaemin offered to pay for you since all you got was a drink.

“Are you heading home?” Jeno asked Jaemin.

He nodded. “I’m gonna walk this one home and then head home myself,” he said, resting his head on yours.

Jeno nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Renjun and Hyuck also waved goodbye. They were all going to Jeno’s. You went your separate ways, and as much as you loved them, you were glad to be alone with Jaemin. Your house wasn’t too far, but even if it was just a few minutes, you were glad to be with him.

“Are you just gonna go home and do homework?” you ask.

Jaemin nods. “Yeah… it’s probably gonna take some time.”

“Sorry baby,” you say. “I’ll facetime you once my mom gets home,” you tell him.

Your mother worked late, so you were in charge of looking after your younger brother, Jisung, until she got home. He was only 2 years younger than you, so it’s not like it was hard, but you still felt obligated to keep tabs on him.

“You don’t have to,” he says. You both walked through your driveway and to the front door. “But if you want to, however… I would love it if you did.” he grins as you open your door.

“Well, then expect a call later,” you say, grabbing both of his hands.

Jaemin leans in and kisses you, and for a second, it feels like everything is okay.

“Gross!” a voice yells. You jump away from Jaemin and turn around.

“Jisung, your sister and her boyfriend are smashing their faces together again!” Chenle, who was standing in the kitchen, yells. Jisung’s pokes his head around the corner.

“Shut up, Chenle.” you say, grinning. “You’re not a child, kissing isn’t that weird.”

You step inside, taking off your shoes and setting your bag down. Jaemin steps in behind you and walks to the kitchen, putting Chenle in a headlock. “You little jerk,” Jaemin teases.

Chenle giggles, trying to get out of Jaemin’s arms. You walk to the living room where Jisung had gone, continuing his video game. “How was your day?” you ask.

“Good.” Jisung says, eyes still glued to the TV.

“That’s good,” you look back to the kitchen and see that Jaemin has released Chenle, and is now talking to him. “Do you have homework?”

Jisung nods. You watch the TV, and watch his character die. Jisung sighs and sets the controller down, turning to you. “Yeah.”

“Okay. Can you try and get it done before Mom gets home?” you ask.

Jisung nods. “Yeah… Chenle and I have the same homework so we can do it together, I guess.”

You nod and go back to the kitchen. Talking to Jisung sometimes felt like talking to a brick wall. “I better get going.” Jaemin says. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You walk him to the door. “I’ll see you.” you grab both of his hands again, never wanting to let go. Jaemin kisses your cheek and turns.

You bite your lip. Why was this horrible feeling back so suddenly? “Hey, Jaemin?” you call after him. He turns back around.

“I love you.” you say, almost too softly. For a second you weren’t even sure if he heard you, but he gives you that classic smile, the one that made you fall in love with him in the first place.

“I love you too.” he blows you a kiss before walking away.

[9:41 p.m.]

You sat down on your bed, freshly out of the shower. Since Jaemin had left, you helped Jisung and Chenle with their homework, did your own homework, and facetimed Jaemin for a bit while he did his. And then you took a long shower in an attempt to clear your head.

You look around for your phone, finding it hidden in a blanket on your bed. You answer some unread texts and then open Instagram again. You’re met with the same ads from before. Your heart drops.

Without thinking you click the link again, pressing download. It downloaded in no time. Your thumb hovers over the icon of the app. The moment you muster up the courage to click on it, there’s a knock at your bedroom door.

You jump, startled, but get up and open it.

Your mother’s exhausted face greets you. “Hi sweetie. I’m going straight to bed, so… goodnight. I hope you had a good day.”

You smile, shakily exhaling. “Today was fine. Goodnight.” you say, not wanting to delay her sleep anymore.

She gives you a warm smile before going to her room. Before you close your door, Jisung appears from the staircase nearby. “You going to bed?” he asks.

“Uh,” you open your phone, looking at the time.

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You ignore the notification. “No… but I’ll probably be in my room for the rest of the night.”

“Oh, okay… well… goodnight then.” he says, going to his room which was right across from yours. He closes the door without another word.

You press your lips together and shut your door as well, laying down on your bed. You opened your phone and clicked on ButterFly.

1 Unread Message

ButterFlyHQ

Greetings. What is your name?

You hesitantly enter your name. You regret it as soon as you responded — maybe you should’ve used a fake name.

ButterFlyHQ

Hello, (y/n).

What do you wish to change?

Wow, straight to the point… You think.

You wonder what you should enter. You try to think of the most outrageous thing you could think of, something completely unimaginable. Something that would surely trigger the Butterfly Effect.

There were things you actually wanted to change.

You wanted your mother to stop being so stressed.

You wanted Jisung to be happy.

You wanted to stop feeling so insecure about you and Jaemin’s relationship.

You wanted Jiwoo to finally pass trigonometry.

Okay, the last one was a bit dumb, and actually imaginable. And then you thought of the most impossible thing.

You

I want my best friend to come back to life.

You almost laugh as you sent the message. But your faint smile fades at the immediate response.

ButterFlyHQ

What is your best friend’s name?

This was suddenly feeling too personal.

You

Mark Lee.

ButterFlyHQ

Understood. We will try our best to meet your request.

You stare at your phone. Now what? You turned your phone off and set it on your nightstand, plugging it into the charger before laying down and staring at the ceiling.

Great, now some random stranger knows some girl thinks an app can bring her friend back from the grave.

When you got the chance, you were gonna chew Jiwoo out for bringing that app up. You get under the covers and close your eyes, trying to sleep. But your mind was racing. You finally feel yourself drifting, your mind finally giving you some peace.

Your last thought before you finally fall asleep is Jaemin. You just wanted to be with him again, his arm around your shoulder, his fingers lazily intertwined with yours. You felt yourself smiling before finally falling asleep, unknowingly saying goodbye to your last normal day.

[peeterparkr]

perfidy;tom holland|15

chapter 15: the soundtrack

enemies to lovers au/enemies with benefits

chapter summary: tom & y/n think they’re alone now

pairing: tom holland x y/n

warnings:  fluffy, angsty, mentions of sex, swearing, rollercoaster seriously.

word count: 8.3k

here’s a playlist

and here’s another one

and here’s another one inspired by 1D

social media before you read (IMPORTANT FOR THE CHAPTER) :

tweets, texts and instagram: what went behind the scenes between Tom and Y/n

previous chapter next chapter series masterlist wanna be tagged?

So, the last chapter came earlier and I thought I wouldn’t have time to write this one but turns out I managed to write 8k words in 2 nights and well, this chapter was a rollercoaster to write and it’ll be more of a rollercoaster to read, good luck, may the odds be ever in your favor, as usual, leave comments, reblog and stuff

Scars talk, and they’re painful reminders of what’s gone through. Invisible scars hurt more, silent screams of pain, of sorrow. Of things left unsaid or dreams waiting to be turned into plans, but never did. The constant admonitions of what once could’ve been, and the misery of never knowing why it didn’t go. Knowing it was your fault. Scared that the rain will pour down again. But the rain was soothing, wasn’t it? Y/N had always found the rain exciting, like a new adventure. 

It wasn’t raining in New York, but it would when they went back to London. She knew that. A storm would rip it off of her anymore. Maybe  maybe that’s why she lived in the fantasy of whatever the city was offering her. A new adventure and a new chance to fall back into the place where she’d felt safe. Wondering if it would continue to be like the fairytale. It kept her guessing. 

Days in New York were counted, and the city lights were so blinding. What’s at the end of the tunnel? Another disappointment? But she wasn’t giving in, not yet. Of course, Tom probably hadn’t noticed it, right? He probably hadn’t even noticed she wasn’t truly… giving in. But she was protecting her heart this time. She wouldn’t let him now that she had a wall built up all around her, because this wouldn’t last. 

But damn, he was just… So blinding. But she was seeing the end of it, she saw herself crying in that dark room, she saw herself having to box in everything. Having to put away these lipsticks, because he’d kissed them, she saw herself crying over New York. She didn’t want this to be Rome. 

But she wanted to change this, this time she wanted to remember the good things, even if he was going to break her heart, she wanted to remember him smiling at her. Tangled in the sheets and laughing at nothing. Staring at the city. Because the memories would follow her around anyway, better make them happy. 

Was he pretending? 

But she’d found a certain peace, waking up by his side, to a kiss. Everything had changed, and she couldn’t quite map it out just yet. Two months ago they had been arguing, and avoiding their glance. Hell, a month ago she was rolling her eyes at him in her office. 

But she needed to be certain, he had changed, right? It wasn’t all in her mind. It couldn’t be, he had turned into a stranger. A stranger that had her on the edge of falling in love. 

She already had, but she… wouldn’t admit it just yet. 

And there was Timmy. Timmy who made everything easy, with those curls and that smile. The way he easily brought back the sunlight, the way he told her that even if Tom rained on her, he’d bring the promise to bring back the sun, with a rainbow. Timmy with the promise of making sure that y/n would enjoy the rain. He’d keep her warm, and he’d make her listen to music. 

She hadn’t given him the ring back, and she didn’t know why. But she didn’t want to give it back. Because he had said it ‘it’s yours’. Because he had said it, the ring was his heart, and somehow y/n still wanted to keep his heart. Because she’d loved him so much. And maybe Tom was just a whim that she hadn’t just yet satisfied. 

But she had, and it wasn’t enough. Because Tom was going to be tattooed all around her body. He was that scar that would never heal. And Timmy didn’t deserve someone with a scar that big. A part of her knew she didn’t deserve Timmy, but the other part just wanted to run back to him, and let the rain pour on her as he made the rain magical. 

But then again, the trace of Tom would never be gone. And why was she even deciding that? Why was she seeing the end of the road already? Why couldn’t she let herself enjoy the journey. 

And she wasn’t certain that Tom would hurt her this time. If anything she could be the one to fuck up this time. The script. The damned script. Maybe she could tell him. Make sure she’s not the one to fuck it up. But what would she tell him? It was delicate. 

Because she didn’t want to break his heart, not really. But she didn’t want him to break her either. 

And it was a weird feeling, not wanting to hurt your enemy. Because deep down, it felt like both of them were being defensive. Tom had been defensive, too. He feared that y/n was also trying to hurt him. To get back for what he’d done. 

He knew he deserved it, but… It hurt. And Tom was so anxious about it. She probably loved Timmy still, that’s why it had bothered him so much. 

And because he felt that Timmy was actually right, maybe he didn’t know her anymore. Because throughout the years they’d both built walls to keep the other away, so they wouldn’t know they’d hurt each other. Because they knew how to push their buttons, but both of them had armors. 

Fenced feelings. Caged love, if you may. And Tom didn’t care. Tom didn’t care if she wanted to break his heart, he just wanted to be able to have the chance to love her, even if it didn’t last. He also wanted her to remember him with a smile. 

Why were both of them looking at the end? 

It seemed like both of them knew this, as he had walked back into the hotel. Tom watched y/n from afar as she had said goodbye to Tim. And Tom feared it again, the fact that she still loved Timmy, because there was that shimmer in her eyes. Because she seemed calm. She wasn’t foiling and not avoiding her smile. Like she did with Tom. 

She would often smile to herself, and she’d take a deep breath and look away, smiling for sure, whenever Tom said something nice. As if she was trying to stop herself from being happy. 

But then her eyes landed on him, and she did it again. She took a deep breath. She always did, like she was mentally preparing herself to face him. 

They hadn’t left on good terms, they’d had an argument over Tim. Not the best of terms, and though y/n had assured Tom there was nothing to worry about… He didn’t trust her. Maybe y/n was doing all of this just to hurt him. 

But she walked to him and placed a kiss on his lips. Tom didn’t kiss her back, but he took her hand anyway as they made their way into the elevator. He let her go as soon as the doors had closed. 

The air felt cold, and he wasn’t really that sure if it was the air conditioner. They stood on opposite sides of the elevator, facing each other. 

“So you’re still angry,” she pointed out. 

Tom looked up at her, her lipstick wasn’t as bright as when she’d left. It had probably stained the...Beer? Glass? He couldn’t even think of what her drink had been. Because he didn’t know her. And probably Timmy had ordered for her, knowing what exactly her signature drink was. 

“I’m not angry,” Tom answered, and then took out his phone, he scrolled through the apps. 

She sighed, as she walked over to his side. “Seems like you are.” 

He locked his phone and then avoided her gaze. “Well I—I am just bothered by him,” he admitted. “He just pranced around when he left.” 

She frowned as she went back to her side. Why did they have to be in such a high floor?” 

“You’ve been crueler to him, though,” she pointed out. 

He looked up, “I have not.” 

She chuckled as she made her way back over once again, she lifted his chin. “Kissing me every time he’s around?” 

He cleared his throat. “No, he happens to be around every time we kiss,” he looked her in the eyes. 

“Why are you bothered by him?” 

“Because we are—dating y/n,” it was weird saying it out loud. “And the first thing you do is have dinner with your ex?” 

She bit her lip. “I only did it to ask him a favor.” 

“What favor?” 

“Not to tell anyone about us,” she admitted. 

Tom opened his mouth to complain but then closed it quickly. He coughed. “Ah… oh.” 

She was the one to avoid his sight this time. “I don’t even know why you’re bothered if you’re the one who gets to go to bed with me tonight.” 

Tom clicked his tongue. “Because.” 

She frowned. “I’m not your property.” 

He rolled his eyes. “I know that,” he really didn’t want to go through the argument again. Stupid argument. “But I—I got jealous, okay?” 

“That’s stupid,” y/n pointed out. “But you’re stupid so that’s in character,” she crossed her arms, and tapped her foot anxiously. 

“Is it stupid? Really? Because you told me you still loved each other when you broke up,” Tom said with venom. And because Tim had opened up a wound that Tom didn’t even know he had. 

She was going to yell, Tom saw it. But instead she approached him, carefully. “He’ll always have a place in my heart but right now,” she took his hand and with the other cupped his face. “I’m dating you okay? And—even if it’s weird at times,” she let out a soft chuckle. “and I’m not sure how to act around my biggest enemy, I like you and only you,” she whispered before kissing him, softly. 

Tom immediately kissed her back, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. 

“Okay?” She asked as she pulled away. 

“Hm.” 

“I’ll prove it to you, alright?” she grinned as the elevator door opened. 

Y/N and Tom were not initially going to share a room. They hadn’t planned it like that, but after the third night of y/n not sleeping there, they decided to get rid of the extra room. But Tom wished they had separate rooms right now, he needed some time to himself. He was angry, but he didn’t want to be. And he knew it was stupid arguing over that, and he knew that arguing would only make them grow apart and he didn’t want that. But he needed to cool off. 

It wasn’t her fault… Well, it was for accepting it, but not really. This was all on his mind, and no… This was Timmy’s fault. 

But it was all in his head, right? Y/N kissed his cheek once again as they walked into the room. 

Tom sat on the bed and scrolled through his phone, he ignored whatever she was doing, she had explored in her drawers and then locked herself in the bathroom, maybe she needed time, too. He ignored it. Because he could only go back to the conversation with Timothée. And he started to think about it, maybe TIm was right. He didn’t know y/n. And that kiss on the elevator had only proved to Tom that the relationship was only that so far. Getting each other to bed. As simple. But, it wasn’t just that, right? 

They were spending time together. But it… It was different because they both have known each other their whole lives and honestly, they couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. It was as if they had been so desperate to kiss each other. It probably was that. Yes. 

There was a spark between them, there were feelings involved. Unless… No, Tom erased the thought of his head. But he knew y/n enough to know that throughout these days she’d been different. It wasn’t like in Rome when she didn’t care, she seemed careful. And of course, he didn’t blame her. But… Maybe she really wouldn’t go any further. 

He laid down on the bed, uncertain of what he could say, or what he could do. He didn’t even hear her open the door, he just rubbed his face with stress. 

She cleared her throat to gain his attention. Tom frowned but then looked up, she was standing with the pink underwear he’d annoyed her with back when they were packing, the flowers silking her intimate parts, leaving barely anything to the imagination. 

She stood there shyly as Tom saw her struggling to pose. 

“Oh,” Tom couldn’t help but blush and crawl to the edge of the bed, reaching for her hand to pull her close to him. He placed his cold hands on her waist and she ran a hand through his hair with a smirk. 

She leaned over and kissed the edge of his lips as his hands went to her back. 

“See? Are you still jealous?” She questioned as she sat on his lap, wrapping herself around him. 

“A little,” he answered cockily. 

She chuckled as she finally placed a sweet kiss on his lips, pushing him to lay down on the bed, his hands struggled to keep at one place, but he managed to pull her even closer. 

But then the thought was back in his head. This was all their relationship was. Only sex, like Timmy had said. No magic. Nothing else. 

And he had to pull away, “No, wait,” he said as she took his lips away from her as an invitation to kiss her way down to his collarbone. Tom closed his eyes. “Wait... stop.” 

She did, looking up. “Hm?” 

“No—This is,” he squeezed his eyes shut, as she sat up. 

“Wait, you don’t like it?” She asked timidly. “Or—uh should I turn off the lights--” 

“No—” 

There was a look on her face, so insecure as she stared at him. “Or—uh, I brought...another one,” she offered. 

“No, no, you look beautiful,” he stated as he sat up, caressing her cheek. “And I hate myself for… Stopping you but—we, I don’t want this.” 

Y/N frowned but nodded as she stood up. “Oh, sorry, I thought you’d like this lingerie, or wait-” 

“No, I do… I love it,” Tom pulled her back to him. 

“Is it—my hair? Or—the lipstick?” She genuinely seemed to be worried about it. 

Tom pulled her face again to kiss her. “Y/N, no stop, you look beautiful okay? You’re incredibly beautiful I’m just—” He didn't even understand what he was trying to say. 

“Oh you’re not in the mood, okay, Tom is it really because of the whole Timmy--” She didn’t finish the sentence. 

Tom looked down at one of her hands that was gently caressing his arm. “No, no it’s—Not that but now that you bring it up,” Tom clenched his jaw. 

“Sorry, no, I’ll go get changed,” she finally stood up and made her way back into the bathroom. She slammed the door closed. 

“No y/n wait,” he stood behind the bathroom door. He rubbed his face again. “I just—no, don’t get this wrong, I just... I don’t want this to be only sex,” he admitted. 

“What?” Y/N asked, as she walked out with the hoodie Tom had left in the bathroom. “Sorry I didn’t bring any clothes in-”

“No, it’s… perfect, wear it, looks better on you” he said as he watched her run to her drawers. He followed after her. 

“But what were you saying?” She tried not to look up as she was too invested in her clothes. 

Tom closed the drawer and lifted her chin. “Whatever we have I don’t want us to be only sex.” 

She frowned. “It hasn’t been-” 

“I mean—it kind of has been, y/n,” He stated as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Has it?” 

“I mean,” he chuckled. “That’s kind of what’s been going on since we arrived,” he pointed out. 

She blushed avoiding his glance, “Oh, and… you don’t want that?” She smirked. 

“No.” 

Y/N looked back up at him with confusion. 

“I mean yes,” he cleared his throat. He let her go and then made his way back to sit on the bed. “But I also want what Timmy so fell in love with okay?”

She scowled. “Tom don’t bring him up,” she begged. 

“I want that magic y/n, I want you to do whatever you did to put him on a spell,” Tom continued. 

She crossed her arms. “I didn’t do—” 

He reached for her arms and dragged her close to him, he turned her head delicately to make her face him. “I look, I have feelings for you. Okay?” He started ,she opened her mouth but he shook her head. “And I—I know you’re scared,” he conceded. “and that’s probably why you keep doing this as if trying to soothe me down.” 

“Doing what?” She chuckled. “Sleeping with you?” 

He closed his eyes. “That came out wrong.” 

“You think?” 

“What I—“he took her hands in his, “what I mean… is I want the real you, okay?” He smiled softly. “and I know you enough to know that even though this part of you is incredibly amazing—I want those little moments with you, I want to feel like time stops,” he grinned. 

She burst out with laughter, “You’re so cheesy.” 

He laughed, “y/n!” 

She leaned over to pepper his face with kisses. “Sorry.” 

“I know you’re scared, I have never been an angel—“

“You don’t say,” she rolled her eyes, but sat back on his laugh. 

“and—the only thing I’ve been good at is breaking your heart.” 

She smiled sadly. “Well.” 

“and I know we are taking things slow…”

She chuckled. “You really think we are going slow? You call this going slow?” She asked with sarcasm. 

“In the feelings department y/n I don’t think we’ve made any progress,” he pointed out. 

Her smile was gone and she only wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling into him. “Well…”

“And look I—“

“I don’t know what you want from me,” she whispered.

He knew what she meant, he knew that she probably was giving him all she could, because she seemed to have very big walls built up for him. 

“Look, I’ve had—A lot of fun these nights,” Tom admitted. 

“Yeah, me too.”

“But that’s not what I want…”he continued. 

She looked up with a mischievous smile 

“I mean, I do—but not only that,” he laughed. 

“What do you want Tom?” She sat up and now was looking him in the eyes. 

He pursed his lips. “A love story, and I know and I hate myself for bringing that idiot up but—I want us to be able to have those little moments you always had with Tim.” 

“Every relationship is different, Tom,” she said, again not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“Yes but are we even in a relationship?” He sounded exasperated. He bit his inner cheek, “Look I’m not complaining, I’ve been playing a huge role on whatever this is, and I do admit I can’t keep my lips off yours but.” 

She smirked smugly. “So no more kissing.” 

He frowned. “No no, yes--more kissing I’m—don’t twist my words—,” he grinned as she snickered. “Kissing is fine… In fact, we should kiss more often.” 

“Well what were you trying to say, then?” She questioned. 

“Wait just so we are clear this—”He leaned over to give her a long kiss, she was smiling against his lips. “This is good, okay?” 

She beamed. “Okay.” 

“Actually too good,” he leaned over again. “I—we are a good team in that territory.”  

“Excellent team,” she agreed, giggling. 

“But—I want to have more than this,” he pushed her hair back. “and I’m sure you are so scared of it, and I know it’s easier to maintain a physical relationship and that’s why you’ve been—very nice but,” he coughed. 

“You haven’t complained, dumbass,” she teased. 

“I’m not, I’m really not-,”he was nervous, but she kept laughing, “y/n stop—I’m not complaining, idiot,” he snickered. 

She placed a kiss on his cheek. “No, I know where you’re coming from.” 

They stayed quiet. Did she really understand what he was trying to tell her? Because Tom had been bothered, really bothered by what Timothée had dared to say. 

“You’re scared aren’t you?” He asked her. 

She looked down, as if trying to understand her own emotions, Tom only brushed her cheek. “Everyone tells me to be,” was her final answer. 

“But are you?” 

“It’s my heart what 's at stake Tom, I can’t—”She closed her eyes. She didn’t want to tell him, she seemed as troubled as Tom. “I just don’t want you to let me down this time, it’s easier to build up barriers.” 

“I understand that but let me prove to you I’ve changed,” Tom whispered. 

She smiled, softly, threading her fingers lightly to his lips. “I can tell, it’s in your eyes, they’re tender now.” 

He grinned, and leaned over to kiss her but she stopped him. 

“But I mean you’re an actor and,” she pulled away. 

“Y/N.” 

She looked at him, and he read her eyes, she seemed confused, or nervous, and scared. Or everything at once. As if she was trying to get him to solve all her thoughts in her complicated mind. 

“No, no it’s real,” well he could start with that, he kissed her forehead. “And look, I understand if you’re skeptical about opening your heart to me—“

She bit her lip. “I just need collateral, Tom.” 

He chuckled. “collateral? Like a bank—Like my house?”

She closed her eyes, holding back a giggle. “No, idiot I was being—I tried to make a joke,” she smirked. 

He pressed his lips against hers. “How about my own heart as collateral?” He suggested. 

“That’s so cheesy,” she rolled her eyes. 

He placed light kisses to her cheeks and neck. “Well it’s done, you have my heart as a collateral no matter how cheesy.”

“Hm, I should’ve accepted the house,” she scoffed. “What the hell will I do with your heart?” 

He cackled. “You’re so stupid.” 

She pecked his lips. “I know.” 

He gulped, knowing that the conversation he wanted to truly have was far from over. But it didn’t matter. They were on better terms than hours ago. Which reminded him of why they had had the argument in the first place. 

“I also want to apologize for…” he took a deep breath. “look I—I’m sorry for getting all angry earlier, it's just…”

She shook her head. “No I get why.” 

“Yeah but I shouldn’t get angry we are—I mean we are not-“

“Oh, we aren’t? What aren’t we?” She smirked. 

He rolled his eyes. “Y/N.” 

“I’m messing with you.” 

“I’m sorry I got so tense I just—I know what Timmy was to you and I—“

“You were jealous, I get it, I’d be if you had had dinner with any of your exes.” 

He nodded. Yeah But—I sorry I just—“he stayed quiet, for a bit, debating whether he should tell her what he was about to tell her. “Look, the… the flowers.” 

“I know they were his,” she assured him. 

And he hadn’t expected that answer. And now he was feeling even more insecure, was that the reason why she’d gone to dinner with Tim? 

“You did?” He gulped. 

“Peonies, that’s his signature flower for me,” she explained. “But—“she shrugged. “You always have them to me in a special way so I—pretended they were from you.” 

“Well if you knew why did you—thank me?” Tom frowned.

“Dunno, needed an excuse to kiss you I guess,” she shrugged. 

He chuckled. “You don’t need an excuse for that, you know that right?” 

She licked her lips. “Hm but it makes it fun.” 

He still had a lot of questions roaming in his mind. “So what did you—why did you go out with him?”

She finally got off his lap, he frowned. “I needed to check on him, we haven’t exactly—Well you have been a little harsh.” 

He scoffed, “Me?”

“Just like when you were a kid, prancing around with your new toy,” she rolled her eyes.

“You’re not a toy.” 

“No, I’m not,” she chuckled. “but that’s what you’re doing, like with everything you do, you’re showing off.” 

“Well you can’t blame me,” he reached for her hand and placed a soft kiss. “just look at the girl I'm dating right now.

She rolled her eyes. “Idiot.” 

He beamed. “Stupid.” 

He cupped her face and kissed her, it was all he needed right now. They laid down, as she tried to deepen the kiss.  But he still had a lot of things to say to her, a lot of thoughts waiting to surface. 

He pulled back again, she frowned.

“Now—“

 “I know, I know— I just really want you to understand that you can take it as slow as you want alright? Let me prove to you that you can feel something for me too, okay?” 

She chuckled.  “And what do you feel?”

“I—I dunno butterflies for now,” he admitted. 

She scrunched her nose. “Maybe you’re nauseous.” 

“Hmmm no, those are butterflies…” he beamed before kissing her again, a loud growl was heard from her stomach. He had to pull away to laugh. “but those aren’t butterflies”

“Oh my god,” she blushed and crawled away embarrassed “I’m sorry I’m hungry I didn’t eat anything—“

“You’re hungry?” He asked between laughs. “Oh,okay you think they have room service at this hour—“

“What if we—go out?” She suggested. 

“Out?” He grinned.  “There’s a few nice places open at this hour… let me call a car,” he reached for his phone, but she stopped him. 

“No, let's go for a walk,” she grinned. 

“ y/n all we're gonna find are some street hot dogs,” he teased. 

She smiled. “That sounds like a great idea!” 

He raised his brows. “What?” 

“Yeah, let’s go for some street hot dogs,” she gushed. 

“But wouldn’t  you like something nicer?” He questioned. “Really I can make a call and—“

“You said you wanted the magic didn’t you? Street hot dogs are gonna make the magic trust me,” she winked at him as she went to put on a pair of jeans. 

And luckily enough, there had been a hot dog stand right in their street, very New York style, right outside a convenience store. 

There was a shimmer in her eyes, as they were nibbling on the hot dogs, in the middle of the night, it seemed like a dream. Though the hot dogs probably weren’t the best food he had, he thought to himself that it probably was the best meal he’d had. Most random one, probably. 

Leaning against a New York wall, with the city lights blinding them. Crowds still going. And yet it felt like it was only the two of them. Enjoying a street hotdog. 

“You’ve got a little bit of ketchup over there,” y/n pointed out before brushing it off with her napkin, she then brushed her own finger against his lip. 

She didn’t pull away her hand to him. “I was thinking.” 

“About ketchup?” She chuckled. 

“I just feel like we barely know each other,” he said. 

She burst into laughter. “You know my favorite color, not a lot of people know that.” 

He snickered. “Yes but that’s not—not what I meant, you see I know a lot of things about you but we don’t—know each other.” 

He had finally said it, what he feared the most. 

“But we’ve known each other our whole lives, Tom, literally,” she nudged him. “We must know a thing or two.” 

“It’s different,” he said before taking a bite of her hotdog. 

“Hey! You have yours over there!” She giggled. “Is it really?” 

He smirked. “Yes, y/n, I never know what’s going on in that mind of yours.” 

She jeered. “A lot of things, really it’s kind of a mess, especially around you.” 

He elbowed her. “Is it now?”

“Yes,” she widened her eyes. “Two months ago we were yelling at each other at a party over a napkin,” she derided, and then pulled him from the neck of his shirt, earning a grin from him. “and look at us now,” she chuckled, cupping his cheeks, “looking into each other’s eyes… smiling, blushing,” she bit her lip. “Of course I don’t get it.” 

He kissed the edge of her lips. “Seems like we’ve lost too much time fighting.” 

She chuckled. “I wouldn’t say it was wasted it’s just… different.” 

His hand got to her waist. “That’s why I wanna get to know you.” 

“But you do know me,” she insisted. 

“I know some things,” he let her go as he threw away the garbage, he paced around as she watched him carefully. “I know how to make you cry, I know how to annoy you, and what music you hate.” 

She crossed her arms. “You also know how to make me smile, and yes, you’re annoying but in a nice way, and you know what music I like, Tom.” 

“But do I?” He looked up. “I feel like I need to know more, you know?” He clicked his tongue. “Like you always said there’s perfect background music and you always relate songs to people.” 

“I do…”she admitted. “See? You know me.” 

“Well what song do I remind you of?” 

She snickered. “Lots of songs, most of them are very chaotic.” 

“Well what song reminds you of us?” He asked. 

She looked up, thinking. “… hmm, lately one song in particular,” she finally said after a few seconds. 

“Which one?” 

She looked away, embarrassed. “But I have to explain the meaning behind it.” 

“Of course you have to, y/n,” he laughed. For a moment, he believed her. Maybe he did know her. And he probably expected an old 80’s song, probably rock n’roll, or maybe even older. 60’s? Maybe, probably. It could be The Rolling Stones. Most likely. 

“I’m just—I thought about what you said, how we are different when we’re alone,” she said, Tom approached her, caging her as he leaned his hands against the wall. 

“Hmhm.” 

She tried avoiding his gaze. “And how we have to be careful, which you’ve been the worst at… with that picture?” She rolled her eyes. 

He laughed. “Hm, yeah I fucked up.” 

“And I hate that,” she continued with a sigh. 

He frowned. “What?” 

She dug and sneaked out of his grip, “having to hide, you know? Because Jesus how are they going to react?” She exaggerated to add in drama. 

“Right,” He bit his lip. So far, Haz, James and Sam had had different reactions. Both of them concerned for y/n’s wellbeing and concerned Tom would fuck up. Of course, that’s not the reaction that worried him. His parents, her parents… And… Harry. How would he tell Harry? 

Would he tell him? 

“And we’ve been this way since we were kids, like… We can’t even be nice, because they’ll freak out, and we can’t act like enemies because.. Everything is wrong to them!” She continued. “And they were always telling us off and—” 

He smiled. “What’s the song y/n?” 

“I feel like you’re gonna laugh and make fun of me,” she scrunched her nose. 

“Oh, of course, that’s my job,” he teased. 

She only paused to look back at him. 

“Hey,” he took her hand and pulled her back to him “We might be dating but I’m still your worst enemy so it’s my job to make fun of you but now I get to kiss you after doing that,” he smirked before pecking her lips. 

She cleared her throat nervously. “I—I’ll show you the song later…” 

“Y/N!” 

“Sh, let’s go get something,” and she finally walked into the convenience store. 

What Tom didn’t know is the song actually was part of something they’d already lived. This is y/n we’re talking about. There’s a deeper meaning behind everything she does. 

She had found the song as an accident, and it brought back too many memories. 

Y/N and Tom had kissed. They had shared their first kiss, and now they had ignored each other, you know, As young immature teens do. However, three days had passed. It had felt like an eternity, both of them blushing and rushing to the other side whenever they bumped into each other. But y/n, with all the pain in her heart, needed help for a school project. And of course, after sharing her first kiss with the crush she’d had her whole life, she saw an opportunity. So when her mother had told her she’d go have tea with Nikki, y/n quickly offered to go, too. For her school project, that is.

Tom had seen her and immediately turned red, as soon as she had walked into his room. 

“What—what are you doing here, fartface?” He asked, turning away and coughing. He had been dancing in front of the mirror and y/n had caught him. 

Tom quickly turned off the music and watched her. 

“I need to learn a choreography for a project and I need to film it,” she blurted out. 

“You’re a terrible dancer y/n,” Tom said as he walked over to his shelf. Trying to ignore her.

“I know, but you aren’t.” 

“Thanks,” he frowned with confusion. “—oh wait no, no, no, no, nononono! No way!” He yelled with realization. “Can you help me out? Please?” She begged, as he rearranged his room. 

“Why?” He asked. “You’re gonna be rubbish anyway!”

“Because I need to learn it and I don’t want to make a fool of myself.”

“You already will,” Tom snapped.

“Thomas!” She pinched his arm. 

“Oi! Ow!” He complained. 

“Please!” 

“Fine I’ll—but I don’t want to help you,” he pointed out. 

“Why not? I’ll give you anything in return,” she pleaded, 

He laughed as he approached her, barely an inch away from her face. “How about another kiss?” He mocked. 

She pushed his face away. “Ew anything but that!”

He threw his hands in the air dramatically. “Exactly! We kissed just like two days ago and dancing together? Y/n that would make us a couple!” Tom pointed out. 

Y/n was very aware of that. “No, because we hate each other, couples don’t hate each other! And god be helping me learn it and—It’s no big deal!” 

“Fine, you’ll—you’ll have to give me all your Halloween candy,” he grinned. 

“I’m not going trick or treating. I'm old now,” she pointed out. 

“Well seems like you are going to go trick or treating just to give me candy and you’ll have to wear something ridiculous.”

“Tom.” She rolled her eyes.

“Then I won’t help you.”

“Fine.”

“What’s the song?” He asked. 

“An old song, 80’s song.” 

As they strolled their way through the tiny and messy halls of the convenience store, Tom thought of more questions. 

“I know I shouldn’t be asking this,” he cleared his throat. 

“Well,  don’t if you shouldn’t.” 

He gulped. “But… I heard a rumor.” 

“Oh,” she chuckled. “ do tell?”

Tom walked his fingers through the candy aisle. “That Tim proposed to you.” 

Y/N stayed dangerously quiet. Tom felt sweat through his skin as he watched her. She only stared at some Mike&Ike’s as if that candy would solve her problems. 

“Who told you that? Harry?” She finally spoke. 

“Harry knows?” Tom frowned. 

She squeezed her eyes shut. “So… James.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m gonna kill him,” she kept pacing through the hall. “Well, but now…” she let a cynical cackle. “Now, I get why you got jealous.” 

Tom bit his lip. “But did he?”

She stopped midway and turned to him. “Yes, but why do you want to know?”

“Because if you said no to him when everyone said he was your endgame and so perfect for you—he must’ve done something real bad and I don’t want to do anything of that spectrum,”he confessed. 

Y/N bit her lip as she picked up some random candy and headed to the cash register. “Well you’ve fucked up pretty bad and yet I’m still here.” 

“Exactly my point, what did he do?” He pushed. 

“Nothing… I guess I wasn’t ready,” she answered before paying. 

They headed out as she opened up the bag of the bag of SourPatchKids she’d decided at the end. Tom dug his hands in his pockets, as they made their way back to the hotel. 

“I would’ve thought you’d be engaged to him,” he commented. “I mean I’m not complaining because I mean we wouldn’t be here if-“

“I know,”she snapped quickly. 

“Sorry, shouldn’t have brought it up.” 

She stopped again before popping one candy into her mouth, she offered some to Tom and he did the same. 

“No I guess,” she closed her eyes before taking a deep breath. “I haven’t really talked about it with anyone.” 

Tom frowned. “Not even with Harry?”

“I —No, I dunno it’s different,” she started walking again, jumping from one side of the sidewalk to the other. 

“And do you want to tell me?” He asked following behind. 

“Dunno,” she turned around to face him but kept walking backwards. “there’s a part of me that still fears telling you anything because you’ll have weapons against me.” 

He bit his inner cheeks. 

She stopped again. “Don’t take it personal I don’t like… telling things.” 

Tom offered her a soft smile. “Ah right. There’s something else I know about you, just remembered,” he chuckled. “you never tell anything to anyone, you always keep everything to yourself.” 

She chuckled. “That’s a nice way to call me lonely,” she blurted out before popping more candy in. 

Tom stopped her this time. “You’re not lonely.” 

“I wasn’t, and I’m not now but—I was for a while,” she admitted as she walked back to his side. 

“When?” 

She leaned against the wall. “After the yellow flowers…”she answered quietly. 

Tom felt like his heart stopped. “Oh.” 

“I—well,” she looked up to the sky as if asking for inspiration for what she’d have to confess.l I—I after that happened—“

“I’m sorry,” Tom closed his eyes, and rubbed his face. “If you don’t want to talk—“

“After it happened,” she continued, and she felt a pain in her chest. She hadn’t addressed it, never. She had kept all of this to herself. Tom only stared at her. “I shut everyone out of my life,” she admitted as she looked everywhere but at him. “It was a very dark point in my life,” she turned to him and he was going to explain something but she raised her hand motioning to stop. “Please, don’t say anything I don’t want to discuss, but…”she licked her lips. “I was devastated, and maybe that’s why I fear everything you’re doing right now,” she confessed with pain. “And though it doesn’t feel like last time… I need to have boundaries but….” She cleared her throat. “yeah, I fell into a really dark place, I didn’t talk to anyone,” she scoffed. “less to your family and god knows Sam and Harry were the only people I trusted and I… didn’t have them…” She was nodding to herself. “And then Timmy just appeared you know? He…” she let out a soft snicker. “and he brightened everything up with that smile he has, and with those his curls and green eyes and without me realizing it… he became everything I needed and he slowly took me out of that dark place, he didn’t even know why I was there and he didn’t mind and he just—showed me that everything was perfect as it is,” she smiled to herself. “he—he really was practically crafted for me and he repaired everything you had broken,” she then looked at Tom, who was only gulping and debating what to do with his hands. “I fell in love with him so deeply, even I thought he was my endgame—He might be, even—“she scoffed with disbelief. “But...it seemed too obvious.” 

Tom didn’t say anything. She looked away and started walking again, slowly. He followed. 

“But I dunno when he proposed I—“she looked down at the candy. “There was a part of me that felt like I just ...loved him because he took me out of that place. You know?” She turned to him but he was staring at the floor.  “Because he repaired the broken pieces…. But there I was conflicted because I wanted to say yes, I truly wanted to say yes…but I had to sort my feelings, because I guess—,” she took a deep breath. “It’s easy to love someone when they’re perfect, okay? When it’s soft and light and… Sweet and tender,” she explained, as her hand brushed against his, but she pulled it back. She then paused her walking. Tom had to turn around and watch her again. “What love is… And if you find it, never let it go, what really is difficult is to love someone when you know every little flaw, to love someone at their worst… that’s more powerful you know?” She said, her voice cracked up but she ignored it as she watched him. “And deep down… I knew I had to sort that...because my head…no,” she shook her head. “my heart kept bringing someone back.” 

Tom watched her, quietly. Mapping his thoughts, letting her words stay in the air. 

She coughed, she knew a tear was coming. “And honestly I never fully tumbled down my walls for him, because I—I just I was so hurt after those flowers.” 

Tom felt it, too. The tear, the pain across his chest. “I’m sorry.” 

Y/N pursed her lips, as she felt the tears blurry out her sight. “Getting over you is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with and—“her voice had completely cracked, she sniffed a breath. “I know I shouldn’t have let myself think about you but you were always there—and I truly never—“

He finally rushed over to hug her. She didn’t hug him back as she had covered her face. She was wiping off the tears as he held her, closely. What could he say? That he was sorry? What good would he make now? 

She pushed him away and then faked a laugh as she tried to hide the tears. “Ah, no, ignore that, I—I just didn’t cry in the middle of the night in New York,” she gulped and looked away. “No, no, that’s stupid I’m not crying,” she said to herself. But she was wiping out the tears. She never did that.

Tom couldn’t say anything. He tried to speak but no words were coming out. 

“We’ve never really talked about it huh,” she said, as he pulled her back into his embrace.

“I—“

“I don’t know if I want to know why you did it,” she admitted, “it’ll only hurt more.”

“I—I didn’t mean to do it,” Tom managed to say. 

“Yet you did,” she pointed out. 

“I didn’t sleep with her.” That was the first thing he needed to clear out. Though there was still a lot of harm done, he needed to get that off his chest. 

She widened her eyes, surprised but still hurt. Eyes still filled with tears begging to come out. 

“I didn’t mean any word I said that day, and I—I know I hurt you but I didn’t mean it,” he explained. 

“Then what was—“

“I caught myself falling in love with you,” he finally stated. She backed away. “—I—It’s something that I already knew but after Rome… it made it—Real,” he nodded, as he explained it quietly. 

She blinked. “You—“

“Yes, y/n, I’ve been in love with you my whole life.” 

And the words remained in the air. And y/n had to back away, she leaned against the wall, she seemed dizzy as she dropped the bag of SourPatchKids, the candy exploding on the ground. 

“What?” 

“I am in love with you. Always have been.” 

“You’ve been terrible at showing it,” she snapped, pinching the bridge of her nose. 

He rushed back to her, taking her hands in his. “I didn’t want anyone to know, because what the hell would they say and—-for the first time I only wanted you to know, for the first time I didn’t want the whole world’s approval, and then—They showed up, and I—I didn’t know what to do and it became too real—“

She seemed angry, confused, sad, happy, and perplexed. “So you—“

“So I was an asshole, because I was stupid enough to care about what everyone else thought  instead of what we felt, and—And they all asked me about it and everyone told me that you had feelings for me and—and everyone told me to close that door to you, because everyone—Everyone believed that I was there only to hurt you, and I—I had to shut you off because I couldn’t leave you there hanging, and I didn’t want to hurt you more, and I thought that by hurting you once it would… Be less awful and instead I drove us off the road,” he explained quietly. “But they all—Said it, as if—as if I had planned to hurt you each and every time. They still all believe it. As if I only get you close to hurt you.” 

“Perfidy,” she whispered. 

“What?” 

But then quiet again. She was taking deep breaths. Not saying anything. She  hugged herself, listening to him. A sickening silence. Processing what he was telling her..

“I—I was stupid,” he added. 

She glared at him. 

“And… Well, there’s—something else,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to hurt you but I also didn’t want to hurt-“

“Enough,” she said, placing her finger over his mouth. “I know, I know, just shut your mouth for a second because I—just felt my heart breaking again and,” she shook her head. “Just, back up for a bit. Let me—Process this, and decide if I should believe you and decide how I should feel about this.” 

Tom gulped with guilt as he backed away as she told him to. She rubbed her face. At least she’d stopped crying. 

He only watched her, as she would nod to herself and then shake her head, all while hugging herself. Protecting herself from Tom. 

“It all just—-confirms my theory,” she said after what Tom felt was an eternity. She picked up the now empty bag of SourPatchKids and played with it. 

Tom frowned. “What?”

She closed her eyes. “there’s always been a part of me that thinks I know why you did it,” she confessed. “For who—you did it for, and maybe that’s why…” she took out her phone, and then searched in her purse for her earphones. “Maybe that’s why this is our song, and maybe that’s why we don’t want them to know, and why we keep hiding and maybe we’re better alone, with no one around so we can—be this.” She was talking quietly, to herself. 

Tom blinked. What the hell was she doing? 

“Let me untangle this mess,” she said to herself as she untangled her wired earphones. 

“What are you doing?”He questioned. 

“Sh, get closer,” she asked and he quickly did, she gave him an earphone and he slowly plugged it in, confused, watching as she scrolled through her music. 

“Is that a playlist with my name?” He asked. 

“Maybe,” she shrugged. But Tom couldn’t understand what the fuck she was doing. 

“I—I will play you the song I told you before, it’s an 80’s song,” she said. “And it’s got more meaning than the one I gave you, and—“

Tom frowned. 

“It’s kind of got a very cheerful tone compared to the conversation we just had okay? But I decided I don’t want to cry in the middle of the night in New York over something I spent months crying over.” 

Tom reached out to wipe the tear that was falling off her cheek. 

“And I want you to forget the conversation for now,” she gulped. “So just listen to this with me” 

“What?” Tom let out a chuckle with disbelief. “You’re serious?” 

“Because maybe I’m one of the believers that think that you’ll end up hurting me again,” her voice cracked. “But this time, I want to remember it as something nice. Okay?” 

Tom didn’t know how to react, but he placed his hands on her waist. 

“And just promise me that if we end up breaking each other’s heart, you will look back at this moment and smile,” she begged him. 

He blinked, now it was his time to process it. “play it,” he conceded. 

He heard the first notes, a very cheerful 80’s song. And it brought him back to an afternoon, three days after they’d kissed for the first time. I think we’re alone now. 

“Wait is it—?” He asked as a smile formed back in his face. 

“Yes.” 

“Dance with me, then.” 

And they did, in the silliest of ways they possibly could, as if not only seconds before the biggest secrets had been revealed. As if their scars weren’t bleeding right now. As if even though there were still people walking down the street, they were alone and nobody was watching. Because the song, in a way and in that moment, was perfectly made for them. 

Look at the way we gotta hide what we're doin'

'Cause what would they say?  If they ever knew  And so we're  Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another hands  Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me  And we tumble to the ground and then you say I think we're alone now,  There doesn't seem to be anyone around

the song 

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[tasloveskk]

Some folklore thoughts 💭🌲✨🏳️‍🌈 

Part 1

 I’m going to take it song by song while also tracking key themes in red! Please also feel free to add in your thoughts in the comments, I’m curious to see what else people think folklore is about...

folklore

‘folklore’ is defined as “a body of popular myths or beliefs relating to a particular place, activity, or group of people.” or, by Steve from Taylor’s IC,”the traditional beliefs, customs, and stories of a community, passed through the generations by word of mouth.” Taylor herself in her introduction/prologue says  “A tale that becomes folklore is one that is passed down and whispered around. Sometimes even sung about. The lines between fantasy and reality blur and the boundaries between truth and fiction become almost indiscernible. Speculation, over time, becomes fact. Myths, ghost stories, and fables. Fairytales and parables. Gossip and legend. Someone’s secrets written in the sky for all to behold.”

the 1

- firstly, it’s the best opening track she’s ever had! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

- “I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit” = sounds to me like a conversation you have with an ex, like someone is saying “yeah I’m doing great, I’m dating/doing ‘x’” the first time they run into their ex in a while.

-“I thought I saw you at the bus stop” has BIG “this city screams your name” energy but is also very clever by Taylor because Miss Karlie Kloss is ALWAYS on advertisements on bus stops/literal buses around the globe 🚌

- “I hit the Sunday matinee” to me seems like an inside thing, because obviously as the world biggest pop star, if taylor is going to go to the theatre or cinema, she’ll pick the least busy and most filled with older people which would be the Sunday matinee.

- “you know the greatest films of all time were never made” —> the greatest love stories never get told? happen behind the scenes? There’s something deeper here but I’m still forming the cohesive idea!

- “if you wanted me you really should’ve showed” = showed up or showed for the world, either way Taylor wanted KK to chose her not Josh so they could work but that didn’t happen so now she’s left to wonder.

- “roaring twenties” evokes two clear images for me! 1. They were both in their 20s for the entiretyof their relationship, the best years were spent together and 2. The Roaring 20s were a time of independence, pushing boundaries and breaking the rules of prohibition - which is basically what Taylor and Karlie were doing behind the scenes.

- “if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you” = let’s say, ONLY FOR ARGUMENTS SAKE, that Taylor really IS with Toe, that still means that this song is her yearning for someone else who she always loves more AND had to lose at some point. Looking at her past beards “relationships”, there are only two plausible options - Joe (which seems unlikely seeing as they’re still “together”) or CH who she supposedly wrote “you would’ve been the one if you were a better man” about. Either way doesn’t seem like it fits. However, if you look at it as Karlie is the 1, it becomes clear - it would’ve been fun being best friends and lovers for ever baking cookies and dancing around the kitchen, it would’ve been forever if Karlie hadn’t “married” jerk, it would’ve been her and it still is. 💗

- “in my defense I have none, for never leaving well enough alone” & “I know that I went psycho on the phone, I never leave well enough alone” are about the same moment with the same person = she didn’t leave well enough alone because she kept writing about Karlie and re-engaging us Kaylors as well as I’m sure, she kept up with seeing Karlie or keeping tabs on her to the point where it forced someone to reach out to the other.... she can’t apologise or defend her actions because you can’t explain the things you do for true love.

- “I have this dream you’re doing cool shit” aka starting a podcast, expanding businesses, making headway as an entrepreneur and being a highly-paid and respected international model? Seems straight forward 👀

- “you meet some woman on the Internet and take her home” = 1. Karlie is specifically interested in tech and the internet, it is literally her entire business and 2. if Karlie and Tay did break up, then because Karlie is actually NOT married to Josh, she hooked up with someone she met through the internet somehow (probs social media not an app) and Taylor found out this is probably a snarky comment about that from a jealous ex. Could possibly also be about the dream mentioned above. 💔🔐

- “another day waking up alone” = lost her lover, sleeps alone? Bold claim on opening tack.

- “persist and resist” = very famous feminist saying, civil rights/political echo?

- “the temptation to ask you if one thing had been different, would everything be different today” = this what if mentality continues through the album but personally, I think this is about Kissgate.

- “Rosé flowing with your chosen family” = repeats later, your chosen family could refer to Karlie’s group of friends like Derek and Jourdan etc.

- “would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me” = flipped perspective, wishes Karlie chose her.

- “dragging up the grave another time” = firstly, THAT pin on her EW jacket now makes more sense. second, Taylor has written about Karlie for 4 straight albums now, she hasn’t let their love story die even if they did.

-

cardigan

- “brand new phone” = this is not some story, this is current reality. Taylor hides behind era-specific language and imagery in some other songs but this one is clearly about here and now, and her.

- “sensual politics” to me stands out because only really here and in TLGAD is politics explicitly mentioned and sensual politics to me screams sleeping with someone for political gain or with political connections which certainly sounds like someone...

- “when you’re young, they assume you know nothing” = sounds to me like a lot like a) love story and b) “you don’t know you’re gay, it’s just a PHASE! you’ll grow out of it!” 🏳️‍🌈

- “chase 2 girls, lose the one” = supposedly, when KK and TS met, Taylor was still in love/entangled with Dianna so perhaps she’s reflecting on making the wrong choice?

- CIWYW links: my baby’s high above the whole scene—> heartbeat on the high line, tidbit:as is clear in both Lover & 1989 New York is a sacred place for TS and KK’s love story, the high line is a) a beautiful NYC icon and b) right in between the girls’ two places...

- as mentioned, miss Karlie ELIZABETH Kloss was the brand model for Levi’s and definitely has worn some sequins and black lipstick on cobblestones sooooo.... 🤷���‍♀️

- “you drew stars around my scars” = see Drake’s birthday party and the infamous third Polaroid mystery 👀

- “stepping on the last train” could mean one of two things to me; 1. The last resort for KK was marrying J*sh or 2. the last train could represent some goodbye the girls had where KK chose something/someone else over Taylor.

- “peter losing Wendy” is such an interesting metaphor on so many levels but specifically, Wendy loses Peter because she wakes up (from nearly dying but nvm) and grows up and stops believing in Neverland and magic, basically Wendy loses an attachment to Peter because her reality shifts and that’s what gets remembered especially in the Disney version of the story. HOWEVER, the opposite is also true meaning Peter Pan loses Wendy because he can never co-exist with her again, he can never grow up or bring her back to Neverland without either killing her or ruining her. So this idea that someone wanted to change the ending from peter losing Wendy because he had to do what was best for her because he loved her echoes as Karlie didn’t want to marry Jerk or hurt Taylor but had to in order to protect her. Right? 😅

- “leaving like a father, running like water” = Taylor’s parents got divorced and there’s SOME thoughts Scott left the house and Taylor lives with her Mom in Nashville in her teen years.

- “I knew everything when I was young” - Taylor has always know she was LGBT+ 🌈 and also, baby VSFS vibes because as we all know, “we were both young when I first saw you...” send tweet.

- “I knew you’d come back to me” hopefully, HOPEFULLY foreshadows the girls being together/coming out soon !!!!!!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

- music video wise, I’ll do a break down soon.

TLGAD

- ‘Rebekkah’ refers to the previous owner of Taylor’s Watch Hill, RI house, Rebekah Harkness. She was a divorcee until marrying Standard Oil heir William (aka Bill) Hale Harkness, a new-money dynasty was formed in this time from their profit. There are MANY wild, whimsical stories about ‘Betty’ (which is obviously an extended metaphor of folklore)  that this song tries to re-create/recapture.  

- Taylor is also known as ‘Becky’ due to the popular meme so this is quite literally a play on her own character as well as the previous inhabitants of the house.

- St Louis is not only Rebekkah’s hometown, but also Karlie Elizabeth Kloss’. 

- “the wedding was charming, if a little gouche” seems like a direct shot fired at Karlie’s woodsy photoshoot of 2018 😂😂(ironically, folklore’s key aesthetic is the woods!!)

- “it must’ve been her fault his heart gave out” refers explicitly to William dying of a heart attack in the house, but subtly I feel like this is a dig at the media who constantly blame women for things they cannot control, as they have done with Taylor too many times to even count. 

- “who knows if she never showed up, what could’ve been” seems like Taylor is stuck thinking about what may have happened for her and Karlie if things had been different, see the 1. 

- “she/I had a marvellous time ruining everything” is such an incredibly provoking lyric on two fronts, 1. obviously taylor buying her RI house had a massive impact on an otherwise sleepy holiday town that is now more famous for Taylor’s july 4 parties than anything else and 2. seems introspective or personal, as if the things that ruined everything for Karlie and Taylor were the best and most marvellous parts of their relationship (big sur, kissgate etc.) 

- “flew in all her bitch pack friends from the city” is not only about the friends and celebs Rebekkah was notorious for hosting but also Taylor’s ‘bitches and model’ girl gang circa 2015 which includes one Karlie Kloss. 

- “blew through the money on the boys and the ballet” refers to Rebekkah’s love of wasting her fortune on things, including a ballet company that went under not long after she created it BUT also refers to Taylor paying so many boys to be her beards and PR stunts whilst also spending her money on a certain ex-Ballerina. Also remember her AMA’s performance of Lover/ bts of Shake It Off? 😉😉😉

- “50 years is a long time” - 50 seems deliberate, a bit of a reach but note it WAS the 50th anniversary of Stonewall last year. 🏳️‍🌈

-  “free of women with madness, their men and bad habits and THEN IT WAS BOUGHT BY ME.” - this clearly shows that ALL the songs are being narrated by Taylor, some of the lyrics are about her, some are about these fictional or fantastical characters she’s created but there is her truth behind all of them too. 

- “the loudest woman this town has ever seen” = Taylor is undoubtedly the most famous woman in the town who regualrly causes uproar there (see the Sea Wall debacle and the Taylor Swift Tax)

- in all, the two famed women owner’s of Holiday House have many overlaps and are forever intertwined. 

exile

- “i can see you standing honey with his arms around your body” as the opening line is LOUD. to me, feels like this is about ALL those staged photos of Josh and Karlie uncomfortable/fake as hell on social media. 

- “laughing but the joke’s not funny at all” is something we’ve all thought about Karlie’s marriage before and is about that moment where if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry at the situation. 

- “it took you 5 whole minutes to pack up ... holding all this love out here in the hall” to me is about someone moving out of a shared home, like Karlie from Taylor’s NYC apartment, after a break up or fight. We know it is MORE than likely that the girls’ broke up, for a while or for good, in 2017/18. 

- “I think I’ve seen this film before, and didn’t like the ending” is a lot like “Cause cruelty wins in the movies, I've got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you” / “All of my heroes die all alone.” which makes me truly believe that delicate > the archer > exile are all the progression of the same love story.  ❤️

- “now I’m in exile seeing you out” = both of them have lost their home, exiled from the relationship.

- “I can see you staring honey, like he’s just your understudy” has a lot to unpack. Firstly, see this photo. Second, as a beard, Joe is quite literally Karlie’s understudy - stepping in only to fill a public void or play her part when she can’t. 

- “like you’d get your knuckles bloody for me” is basically this tweet

- “second, third and hundredth chances” - hopefully this means the girls WILL be together again soon!!! 

- “those eyes add insult to injury” - Taylor has often made explcit reference to her lover’s eyes, but this could also mean the eyes of the public on her every move and relationship not allowing her to properly grapple with break ups. 👁️

-  “i’m not your problem anymore, so who am i offending?” - homophobes love to say wlw or mlm relationships “offend” them or their beliefs, so who could taylor be offending if she’s publicly in a straight relationship? 

- “you were my crown”, Taylor was/is Karlie’s princess, if Karlie is gone, Taylor doesn’t feel like she’s a princess anymore. Likewise, Karlie is Taylor’s sunshine which makes the moody, misty, dark aesthetics all the more relevant to this album. 

- “so I’m leaving out the side door’ - this side door? the other side of the door?

- “all of this time, we always walked a very thin line” between outing themselves and being happy? 

- “I gave so many signs” - Taylor has queercoded EVERY album since her self-titled, she has been dropping hints and signs for years that she is LGBT+ so it must be exhausting to have to keep hiding who she loves. This is repeated so many times - it means a lot. 

- written with William Bowery who nobody can quite identify, but Karlie and Taylor have been to the Bowery many times together and William is mentioned earlier in TLGAD

- this whole song is a duet, a two-sided conversation between lovers - her and karlie both without each other. 

my tears ricochet

- Track 5 is, as per usual, deeply confessional, personal, emotive and moving. 😿😿

- there are lots of theories and layers to this masterpiece of a song, including that it’s in reference to big machine. I personally think every single song of Taylor’s is made up of layers that reflect multiple things in her life and experience so plausibly it can be about multiple things all at once including Sco** and Scumbag as well as Karlie, who was under Scumbag’s management for the majority of the decade. Another theory which with every new listen I think is more and more possible is that this is alternating between Taylor and Karlie’s perspectives. 

- ‘if i’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes too” whoever is associated with Taylor will ALWAYS be dragged down with her. If she’s being attacked, they will be too. Big 2016 energy. 

- “even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me?” could be directed at a lover, or at Big Machine, or even the public for all the shit they’ve said about Taylor over the years. 

- “I swear I loved you ‘till my dying day” seems a lot like the 1, as well as could be about the music and the label she helped build. 

- “I didn’t have it within myself to go with grace.” Taylor was LOUD about her split from Big Machine, she called them out (rightly) and made noise which is not a ‘graceful’ split. 

- “you’re the hero flying around saving face” very easily is about S+S jackasses but deeper than that, while Taylor was under immense attack and criticism, everyone who actually like her music pretended suddenly to hate it and her to stay ‘cool’ 

- “cause if I’m dead to you why are you at the wake?” this lyric becomes especially important in the final verse but essentially those who publicly distanced themself from Taylor still showed up when she was thriving again and/or because they actually truly loved her *uhmm karlie uhmm* 

- “cursing my name, wishing I stayed” either at Big Machine or with Karlie/Taylor. 

- “some to make a diamond ring” > firstly we still have never understood the ring image from the LWYMMD and ME! videos, it is entirely possible this is a continuation of that same symbol/image. Second, I think this hints to Karlie getting ‘engaged’ while still being with Taylor, the rock for the ring in the song was found by the two people gathering stones after all. 

- “you know i didn't want to have to haunt you” both Taylor and Karlie have big reputations all over the world that follow them everywhere. For either one, they will always be haunted by reminders of each other. 

- “you wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” - on the Big Machine side, Taylor made the label professional and big, she is literally the sole reason it succeeded in the music industry so she handed Sco** his fortune and reputation which he still had when he sold her music to Scumbag and got into a very dirty bed with him. From the Karlie side, many people have noted that not only does she wear her black cartier necklace, which is assumed to be from Taylor, but to her ‘wedding’ wore a necklace she’d worn before with Taylor. 

- “when I’d fight you’d tell me I was brave” could refer to Sco** encouraging her in 2016 to defend herself. Could refer to Karlie supporting her behind the scenes. 

- ‘and I can go anywhere I want, just not home” seems like a continuation from exile, as in she’s lost the place she called home because her lover is no longer there but could also mean she can’t go back to her other albums and the house (see the lover music video) that they created as her musical home.

- “you will still miss me in your bones” could be about Sco** losing his money and label without her there to physically support and carry it or about the fact that the love Taylor and Karlie had is so ingrained it’s in their bones forever. 

- “and i still talk to you when I’m screaming at the sky” this lyric has a lot of possible interpretations (i’ve seen one about cursing out God?) but i think it’s similar to “asking the traffic lights if i’ll be alright” as in, it’s Taylor asking the universe to help her make sense of things. 

- “when you can’t sleep at night, you hear my stolen lullabies” suggests a) sco** + scumbag is still haunted by the music they stole from Taylor because it was literally the backbone of the business which is now practically worthless and b) that Karlie is kept awake by the songs Taylor has written for and about her over the years which again were stolen away by the jackasses at Big Machine.  

- “you had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” again, same idea - big machine will never be profitable without her/while they hold her masters hostage. BUT Karlie wise, breaking up with Taylor broke her too? 

- this is where the song changes. it shifts from Taylor’s story to someone else’s, personally I think Karlie. 

- “you turned into your worst fears” as in she settled for the money and sold her values off by marrying Josh. Also, Karlie was under Scumbag’s management for years (part of Taylor’s hatred of him was him keeping the girls’ from doing as they pleased) so by being completely controlled by him, she turned into this completely fake person. Contrast 2014/15 Karlie with 2017/18 Karlie and it so much more all about PR and money. 

- “you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years” - sco** and scumbag have made so many false excuses for their behaviour and completely erased the good relationship between the Swifts and sco**. Not sure yet what the Karlie side is here but it’s here somewhere. 

- in conclusion, this is about Big Machine and Karlie. As the first song Taylor wrote for the album, I think it’s clear just how incredibly multi-faceted this album is. ☕☕☕

mirrorball

- first off, we can never forget about this and this look from both girls. ✨✨

- “I’ll to show you every version of yourself tonight”, the public and the private sides to them both. this is big glass closet energy in my opinion 

- “and when I break it’s in a million pieces” is so personal and heartbreaking. 2016 and Kaylor breakup vibes. I cannot elaborate at this time. 

- “when no one is around my dear” = the secrecy, forbidden love motif returns and again, if she’s in a hetero relationship, what’s to hide? 

- “you’ll find me on my tallest tiptoes”, Just an fyi, Karlie, a giraffe, is 6′2″, Taylor is 5′10″ -- thats a big difference. 🦒🦒🦒

-  “i know they said the end is near” = end of the relationship or the end of hiding it, either way, it’s a romantic last private moment together, swaying as the room burns down. 

- “i can change everything about me to fit in” = Taylor when she was starting out was forced to create this all innocent, american-girl image of herself. She has had to hide herself to succeed, as she said in Miss Americana, she was muzzled. 

- “you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revelers” = Karlie is different to everyone else, or any other ex, ‘masquerade’ implies masked or hidden figures at a party, very Love Story 

- “and the called off the circus, burned the disco down” = the ‘circus’ could be the media/public, or all the illusions Taylor has cast in order to appear straight. The ‘disco’, and Taylor is the ‘mirror ball’ to her lover means that this isolated existence of just the two of them. 

- “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything” for now, she’s still closeted, she’s still trying to have the best of everything. 

- “I’m still a believer, but I don’t know why” believer in everything working out perhaps, or perhaps believing it’s better if she’s in the closet and it’s only the two of them. 

- “never been a natural” = she has completely created herself through years off trying to be what people want, not who she naturally is. 

seven

- “picture me” implies this is retrospective of Taylor, she’s reflecting on her childhood/youth. 

- “I hit my peak at Seven” could either refer to the age 7 or album 7, ‘Lover’ which many critics argued was her best work. 

- “Over the creek I was too scared to jump in” = fear of jumping is something Taylor has discussed in many songs but this is different, the creek represents something she fears will drown her.

- “High in the sky with Pennsylvania under me” = obviously, Taylor was born and raised in rural PA, so this truly is a childhood memory unearthed and explored. It’s personal to Taylor, it’s her story. 👏🏼

- “Are there still beautiful things?”  Recognizing the world isn’t all daisies and rainbows 

- “cross your heart, don’t tell no other” = again, secret keeping and hiding something is a big queer image, ‘cross your heart’ is a quite childish phrase but it’s adult equivalent in Taylor’s world is an NDA, ie swearing people to secrecy is something she's always known... 🔐

- “Although i can’t recall your face, I still got love for you” = this childhood love has faded with time to memories, this girl simultaneously forgotten and remembered. 

- “Your braids like a pattern” = definitely about a girl (1996 rural Pennsylvania was not the kind of place where boys had braids), specific use of YOUR pronoun not ‘my’ or ‘our’ suggesting again it’s about a girl. Very obviously about a first girl crush. 🌈 

- “passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long” = firstly, reference to Neruda’s poem Taylor used in the red prologue. second, folksongs change slightly from generation to generation but the heart/melody remains the same meaning that in Taylor’s mind, the story of her first girl love has changed but it’s still the same song/story all the years later. also, clearly a reminder of the setting of the song and the album as a whole being folklore. ����

- “your dad is always mad and that must be why” feels a lot like Love Story and forbidden love, also again rural Pennsylvania in the mid-1990s was not the most liberal place so I can imagine a lot of homophobic ideas that perforated Taylor’s childhood.

- “I think you should come live with me” is such an innocent image of someone in love and wanting to just fix things by bringing them home, it also is like a baby gay version of uhauling 

- “we could be pirates” = pirates are not just a childhood image/motif but also one historically seen as gay, gangs of pirates often had ‘mateolage’ agreements that basically were like widow’s benefits. See John Swann. ☠️

- “you won’t have to cry, or hide in the closet.” = I think this one is explicitly clear but just to be sure, Taylor could’ve said “hide when he lost it, hide if you wanted, hide in the woods too” etc. Read this for a full understanding of why it such a LOUD image to use.  It is VERY DELIBERATE PEOPLE. 🌈🌈🌈

- “just like a folk song, our love will be passed on” = different from the first bridge but deliberate again. Their story, aka Taylor liking girls from a young age will always be talked about, AND their love lives in this song she wrote.

- “picture me in the weeds before I learned civility” = again, given the homophobic attitude, ‘civility’ and straightness should be read as the same so Taylor is saying when she was a child, free in the grass and herself, she wants to always be. 

- “I used to scream ferociously any time I wanted” = she wasn’t muzzled as a child, she could say and be who she wanted, screaming it aloud for everyone to hear but that changed as she grew up. 

- “pack your dolls and a sweater, we’ll move to India forever” = ‘dolls’ again would imply it’s two girls running away together and India is this exocitc far off place to a child, a place where they can be together without anyone knowing them or controlling them. 

August

- Karlie Kloss is born in August. Karlie Kloss posted yesterday about being a Leo (an August born). August belongs to Karlie Kloss. 🦁♌

- “rust on your door” = image of something well-worn, perhaps someone who’s been here too a few times before?

- “whispers of are you sure?” = obviously there is the sexual connotation, but beyond that, what if it’s about Taylor and Karlie going public etc. 

- “never have I ever before” = see above but also the game ‘never have I ever’ evokes youthfulness and sounds almost like a reminder of a fun night with friends. 

- “I can see us lost in the memory” = implies they’re still together, losing themself in the memory together

- “I can see us twisted in bedsheets” = again, sexual imagery but also the intimacy of sharing a bed with the person you love after sex 

- “Like a bottle of wine” = matures the song a bit, the youthfulness of earlier is now more adult. 21 is America’s drinking age, 20s were mentioned early etc. 🍷

- “Cause you were never mine” = the whole of Taylor and Karlie’s relationship, Karlie has publically been dating Josh so she was never solely Taylor’s. 

- “Will you call when you’re back at school?” = Karlie attended NYU in 2015, the height of Kaylor. 

- “back when we were still changing for the better” = instead of changing to adapt/survive or keep up appearances. 

- “wanting was enough” = wanting Karlie without labels was enough, rather than having to go public etc. Many have said for a long time that Karlie and Taylor fought about coming out or not. 

- “cancel plans in case you would call” = sounds like a very love-sick Taylor Swift thing to do. Also waiting on a lover’s call when they constantly are travelling like both Karlie and Taylor do makes sense. ☎️

- “so much for summer love” = cruel summer echo? Summer 2015 was again, peak Kaylor so this could be a specific reference to that period

- “Do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said ‘get in the car’” another specific reference, comes up again later in Betty, clearly is something personal. 

- “Back when I was still living for the hope of it all” = back as in the past when everything was happening, hope of it all being the hope they’d still end up together. 

TO SUM UP PART 1:

BENEATH ALL FICTION OR MYTH IS FACT & FEELING. Taylor is no longer hiding. Yes, some of these songs are about stories and people not her but there is so much of herself and her own story layered in too. PAY ATTENTION!!! Obviously, these are just my opinions, I’m not Taylor so I cannot know exactly what these songs are about but I think, after years of analyzing her music, these images/themes and deliberate word choice are well-versed in this part of the fandom. It is entirely possible this is the beginning of Taylor’s full, public coming out journey. 

I’ll be back with Part 2 tomorrow.  Stay Tuned!

[lemonsandstrawberries]

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

fandom: Stony (Steve x Tony)

summary: Steve is being forced into getting a Twitter accounts and logs into Tony’s for inspiration - one mistake later, he finds more than he asked for. Meaning, his boyfriend has a tickle kink and Steve has a lot of thinking to do. 

length: 5 468

a/n: Happy Friday 13th! *throws confetti* To celebrate I am posting a fic that contains one of the biggest fears for people with tickle kink - someone finding out when you are not ready to tell them. It has a happy ending, promise! Hope you all will enjoy this fic, feedback, reblogs and likes are appreciated and needed! fic inspired by this prompt. 

—————

Hashtag: RelationshipGoals

Long story short - Steve was getting a Twitter account.

Long story long...

It all started with a certain PR meeting held for the Avengers team, just this time, it was Steve vs the whole PR team. The problem was simple - Steve didn't like social media and didn't have an account on any of the numerous websites and apps. Fighting with aliens, planning new missions, schooling SHIELD agents - those were the zones he felt comfortable in. Some thought that the hidden reason behind the hostility towards social media was, that Steve, born in the 1920s, had a problem with using modern technology. Some called it endearing, some pathetic, the truth was, that Steve fairly quickly mastered each piece of technology he was given, skillfully using any given device. After all, he wasn't dense. Many apps were quite useful, some just plain entertaining, and it required a lot of navigating, but he managed to find some favorites. Just when it came to social media… Steve didn't feel like sharing his private life with unknown faces. Call him old-fashioned, but he liked having direct contact with people and as much as he liked to take a stop during his random walks in the city to talk with people who called themselves his fans, it quickly became too overwhelming. He wasn't good at such things and always thought he was too awkward and not what people expected. Steve didn't like that kind of pressure and didn't like the almost weekly notices from the PR team that he needed to make himself more 'accessible'. By no means, he was expected to stop and talk to everyone who ever called him or share mission details with strangers, but he needed to create a more public persona for Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Hence, Steve was encouraged to take a plunge into the world of social media. 

And he really, really, really didn't want to do that.

One - it was pretty tedious to keep up with everything. Tony eagerly showed him all social accounts he had - Twitter, Instagram, Facebook profile, Youtube, and it all just gave him a headache as Tony chattered which media was good for what and gladly showed him his own Instagram page (mostly workshop photos and meals Steve had prepared for him, which was kinda sweet) and if Steve became slightly interested in that, his interest dropped after hearing about filters and tags. Too much work. 

Second - he didn't have time to keep his theoretical accounts active and post new content regularly. Or more, he didn't want to make time, preferring to spend it on reading or training or hanging out with Tony or anything else, really. He had been gently suggested, that some celebrities (Steve's eyes widened a little after hearing that - was he a celebrity?) hire someone else to run their social media accounts. Steve shook his head at the proposition, knowing that none of his teammates did that and so he shouldn't either, not mentioning that everything posted wouldn't be sincere.

Third - Steve considered himself not an interesting person. He didn't have Tony's charisma, who, of course, had the biggest social media following ever, Thor's flair, which made his Youtube channel where he tasted food sent to him from all over the world by his viewers a huge success or Clint's humor, whose Internet activity limited to commenting on funny animal photos and home videos and people loved him. Even Bruce, seemingly even more awkward and distant when it came to dealing with a privacy-invading crowd, was doing great, kindling the interest of young kids in science with a series of easy to repeat experiments at home and railing about the importance of protecting and preserving the environment. Even Natasha didn't have a problem, her social media accounts full of useful self-defense tips for everyone who needed to feel safer. Steve just couldn't find anything in himself he would like to share with the world. He liked to keep his art private, his relationship private, and his whole life private. 

It should be the ending statement.

It wasn't.

And so Steve, feeling scolded, got back to his and Tony's shared floor, planning to hide, except that he was assigned a very simple task for the week.

Get a Twitter account.

Steve sat heavily on the couch, putting elbows on his knees and palms around his cheeks, definitely not pouting. Why on Earth did he need a Twitter account? Wasn't it enough that from time to time he appeared on Tony's account, being the supportive boyfriend, and allowing Tony share the photos of their date nights or even the short movies from Steve's training when Tony was proudly showing off Steve's impressive physique and using those damn filters and making small stars and glitter swirl around him. 

Speaking of Tony, he could use his boyfriend's advice... Steve checked his phone and knew that Tony was still stuck in a business meeting, and won't be back for an hour or so and as much as he wanted to not think about the Twitter issue it kept coming back to him. What was he supposed to write on Twitter? Something that wouldn't give too much about him, but would be safe and entertaining. He needed inspiration. Maybe a walk would clear his mind but as Steve was getting up, he noticed Tony's tablet laying at the edge of the coffee table. 

Well... Tony wouldn't mind if he took a peak, right? Granted, he never used Tony's tablet before without his boyfriend’s permission. It felt too personal and barging on privacy and it was almost a silent agreement between them that Steve won't touch Tony's electronic devices and Tony won't look through Steve's sketchbooks without prior agreement. But it was different, right? Tony's Twitter account was out there, for everyone, so it didn't matter if Steve would install the app on his phone and check the account, or go to the source and look through Tony's account. It might even help him to understand better how the app was working. 

Steve took the tablet and unlocked it, searching for the Twitter app. Letter T on a blue background. Steve pressed it and skimmed over the screen, looking at the design of the app. Huh, it looked very different from the account owner's point of view. He scrolled down the screen, seeing a lot of text, too much text because wasn't there a limit of signs per tweet? Further, into the app, Steve saw more of things he didn't recognize, didn't see any posts from other Avengers, instead of images and gifs and -

"Woah," Steve gaped, taking in what he was seeing. He quickly scrolled up, his face becoming heated, unsure what he just saw. For a minute, he turned the tablet in his hands, trying to decide if it really belonged to Tony and not someone else, but who else would have a hot red and gold cover, resembling the design of the Iron Man suit. It had to be Tony's tablet, which meant...

Those posts were Tony's. That account was Tony's. Tony had two Twitter accounts? Steve looked back, just now noticing that it wasn't Twitter after all. At the top of the screen on a background of dark blue in white letters was written Tumblr. Steve didn't hear of the app, it wasn't listed as one of the most popular ones for celebrities and that's probably why Tony used it for -

Steve wasn't exactly sure for what. For something secretive. Something he wanted to hide. Things he didn't admit even to Steve. 

Cautiously, Steve scrolled down again, trying to keep an open mind and be more cautious. He wasn't a prude, he knew that people had different kinks and it was completely normal. Heck, he and Tony had a very healthy sex and intimate life and the sight of Tony tied down for their playtime always made Steve's blood boil with lust and desire and they did indulge in some kinks, Steve current favorite one included spanking Tony's bouncy ass and watch it jiggle and the skin turn red. Tony had no problems with sharing his kinky fantasies and Steve was always willing to give it a go, sometimes proposing things on his own, like wax play, which wasn't only sexy but also artistic - Tony's body colored with drips of different colored wax was a beautiful sight. This... This was something different, Steve didn't think to consider. 

There were pictures, that without context seemed innocent, like an array of feathers on a pillow. Some were less subtle and showed a part of sucked in stomach, escaping from a coming closer feather duster. The gifs were the most intriguing - a tied up, blindfolded man, laughing and squirming, while a different man was...

Tickling him?

Steve's brow furrowed as he watched the gif, frame by frame. There was no doubt that it was tickling, fingers gliding over tied man's armpits and sides. Steve expected this to be a prelude, something more to follow, but it was all. Tickling was the main point. Steve blushed when he realized that if there were gifs, there had to be a video and who knew how long it was. How many minutes would it take to bring someone to the brink of hysterics, to make them crumble, but at the same time make it pleasurable? People were not forced into filming porn and following that principle, there were not forced into filming tickle kink videos.

And that being said... 

"Huh..." Steve mused out, bits of information falling into one picture. They never discussed it, but in the back of his head, Steve had this thought that Tony enjoyed being tickled, or at least didn't mind terribly. The way he squirmed between Steve's tickling hands but didn't try to run away. How he laughed and screamed for mercy whenever Steve targeted a sensitive spot and always seemed a bit disappointed when the tickling ended but masked it with a smile and complaints of being assaulted. Sometimes, Steve just felt provoked into tickling his boyfriend, like that one time, Tony had taken his sketchbook and hid away, refusing to say where he hid it and Steve had to tickle the information out of him until Tony was absolutely incoherent from laughter and breathless. 

That was cute. All those shared tickle moments were cute, but Steve never thought that they could be... hot. And intimate. He looked back at the gif, at the way the tickled man arched and bucked, but was not able to escape the ticklish strokes delivered over his skin. What if Tony was the one tied and spread in the chair and Steve was the one standing behind, dotting his fingertips over the bare torso, having that sense of power and control, enjoying the ticklish tremble of the bothered skin. It became a tempting image in his head. 

'Guuuuys, I don't know what to do.'

Steve's eyes caught on some text among the images and gifs. A separate post.

'I still can't tell my bf that I like being tickled. I just can't! There is this block in my head -'

Steve read the text, feeling that he might know the author. 

'I even did that thing you recommended with hiding his stuff away -'

Definitely knew the author. At the top of the post, he saw a name, probably the username and clicked on it. Blue background color, and image of feathers and the username in white bold font. The Spare Parts Man.

That was one major hint...

Steve scrolled down this page, seeing more text and images of people being tickled, some like, a gif that was of a zoomed in stomach, the belly button tickled by a tip of the feather, signed with a 'omg, goals', whatever that meant. Steve tried to search for the text he saw on the previous page, but couldn't find it anymore, instead saw more posts, where people seemed to be interacting with the author.

'Hi, SP! I was the one who sent you the asks with hiding your BF's stuff -'

'I am sure your BF will understand, from what you said, you are dating for a long time -'

'You still didn't tell him??? What are you waiting for, GO GO GO!'

Steve pursed his lips together, feeling upset that Tony was so willing to share with strangers, but not with him. This whole site seemed so secretive, and while Steve felt a bit betrayed, he started to think about things from Tony's perspective. Tickling wasn't a mainstream kink. Bondage, spanking, food play - all the things they had tried seemed to be more acceptable in the sex world while tickling... Some people enjoyed it, some hated it. Steve was somewhere in between. It could be a fun thing among loved ones, but could quickly become overwhelming and unbearable. Steve didn't think about it earlier, but he really liked tickling Tony. He loved the way his body twitched, the sound of his laughter, and the feeling of closeness and trust in the action. For Steve it was fun. For Tony, it had to run much deeper, forming stronger connections than it did for Steve. 

'I don't want to lose him. What if he thinks I am a freak?'

No, Steve would never think that. Tony was the great love of his life and Steve accepted him on every level. 

"Oh, babe..." Steve sighed softly, reading more posts, some screaming nervousness as Tony was pouring his heart out, feeling miserable with his inability to tell Steve the truth, some so heartwarming and oozing happiness when Tony was describing Steve's last tickle attacks and how incredibly good and completed it made Tony feel. 

That. Steve wanted to make Tony feel like that every day. Satiated and fulfilled and safe. 

No more secrets. 

Carried on the moment, Steve pressed on an icon with a pencil and began to write. 

***

Tony was bored. So, so bored. He caught a glimpse of Pepper sending him a scolding look and straightened up in his seat, pretending to pay attention. He just wanted to go back home and curl up next to Steve, feeling Steve's fingers stroking his hair and maybe, if he got lucky, Steve would rub his belly, using just enough pressure to make him smile and feel like melting. He started to smile at the thought and Pepper sent him a confused look. Uh oh. He better control himself. Tony grinned sheepishly at Pepper and set his face in a schooled, thoughtful look, trying to focus his attention on the meeting. Just half an hour more... It was all ending statements, so it was nothing bad if he decided to check his social media, right? Cautiously, Tony took out his phone and unlocked the screen, keeping the phone under the table. A new tasting video from Thor, with a package of sweets sent from the Netherlands. Tony made a mental note to drop later to Thor's floor and ask if he had any stroopwafels left to share because they were amazing with black coffee. Clint commenting on funny cats videos, Tony added it to his watch later list. As usual, his own social media were bursting with notifications, people raving over Iron Man and asking for more videos of Steve training routine, which, Tony couldn't blame them, the sight of his boyfriend working out was heaven. He even decided to check his Tumblr, curious if anyone sent him some more tips or maybe just left him a nice message -

Oh, that was weird. Usually, he had maybe two or three messages, some reblogs, and a few comments. This time, his app was bursting with notifications and Tony didn't post anything that could cause such a commotion in the last days.

'WHAT. WHAT????"

'Nooooooo... Please don't break up with him! He loves you so much!'

"The hell, dude! You invaded your bf's privacy like that?? You're the worst!"

Tony didn't understand anything. Maybe he clicked and shared something by accident. There was a slight possibility that his account was hacked. Maybe -

Maybe it was way, way worse. 

There was a new text post on his main, one he didn't write.

'Hi, this is Spare Part Man's boyfriend. I found this account by accident and me and my boyfriend have a lot to talk about once I see him.'

No. No, no, no.

"Tony? Tony, are you okay?!"

Tony didn't realize he started to hyperventilate until Pepper's voice brought him back. Everyone was staring at him and Tony felt like vomiting.

"I am fine," Tony said, not meaning it, his voice coming out squeaky. "Can we - excuse me, I have to go," Tony rambled out, sending a sorry look in Pepper's direction and trying to walk out of the conference room as calmly as possible. It felt like the whole world was spinning around him, making him feel nauseous. Tony stumbled to the window and pressed his face against the cool glass, trying to soothe his heated skin and get his thoughts back in order.

It wasn't supposed to happen. Not like this. Maybe it was never supposed to happen, staying as his hidden fantasy and dark secret. What if he deleted the account, right here, right now, would he be able to convince Steve that it never existed? 

No. Steve wouldn't fall for it. And Tony felt so stupid for creating that account in the first place, but he needed a place to vent. He didn't plan on socializing, sharing his life, just get the urges out and move on. He just... Wanted to feel accepted. Find people who thought the same as he did. Not feel so alone.

And he would end alone because Steve definitely was going to dump him.

***

"I am back!"

Tony was a genius. He had numerous diplomas to prove it. Yet, he decided that the best thing to do would be to march into his and Steve's shared floor, acting like nothing ever happened. Maybe if he managed to keep his cool he could put this whole Tumblr thing as a social study. Just a research on kinks. No biggie. He could do this.

"Tony, come to the bedroom for a second!"

Somehow hearing Steve's voice made this situation very real and not like Tony imagined it. He couldn't say anything from the tone of Steve's voice, it was neutral, not angry, but also wasn't the cheerful, loving one Steve had towards him. On usual days, Steve would come to him, resembling an excited puppy and lick his face - kiss, Tony meant kiss, and then they would sit on the couch and share their day. Their bedroom was a private, closed space and once Tony set his foot there, there was no way back. 

Feeling a nervous twist in his stomach, Tony peeked into the bedroom, just to feel if the situation was as bad as he feared. Steve was on the bed, forehead creased in thought, and was looking at the space in front of him until he spotted Tony from the corner of his eyes.

"Tony - " Steve started, sitting up straight, pulling shoulders back.

"No, Steve, I - " Tony walked into the bedroom, trying to make his voice strong. Just remember what he had planned and it would be fine. "I want to talk first, okay?" 

Steve blinked and frowned lightly, but kept his lips tight. Alright, if Tony insisted.

"Okay," Tony nodded, trying to give himself some courage and began to pace around the room. "I know you found my Tumblr account," he said the obvious, struggling to keep his voice firm. "And - and it was not true, you know that, right? I just - research - an experiment to - ahh," Tony quickly got lost in his words, noticing Steve's look changing to a confused one. "I - ah, fuck, fuck, fuck - " Tony couldn't get any coherent words out and stopped and hid his face in hands. He continued to quietly curse, not knowing how to get out of this mess and not lose everything. 

"Babe..."

Tony almost jumped away, when Steve came closer and wrapped arms around him. After a moment of hesitation, Tony buried himself into his soldier's arms, his face pressed against Steve's neck. Probably the last hug he would receive from Steve. This whole thing won't make Avengers stuff awkward at all. What if Steve would quit the team? Tony couldn't imagine not being able to see Steve anymore. He needed him. He would change, he would do better. Steve couldn't break up with him. 

"Of course that I am not breaking up with you," Steve said suddenly, and Tony winced, not realizing he said it out loud. "Is that what you thought?" Steve asked, sounding shocked. Reluctantly, Tony nodded. Somehow he was used to being rejected and walking away from problems was one of the things he did and expected the same happen to him. 

"God, Tony," Steve said in an exasperated huff, not believing how quickly this whole thing could escalate in Tony's mind. Then again, he should know, because Tony did think too much and sometimes didn't stop his thoughts on time, letting them drag him deeper and deeper. "Tony, I am not breaking up with you," Steve said again, just to make sure the words sunk in his boyfriend's head. "And I am sorry," Steve gently put his thumb and forefinger under Tony's chin, encouraging him to eye contact. 'Sorry you turned out to be messed up in the head,' Tony finished in his mind, looking into Steve's blue eyes. 

"I am sorry for barging into your space when you didn't feel ready to share yet," Steve said, closing the distance between them and leaning his forehead against Tony's.

What?

Tony didn't reply, just stared, his brown eyes widening. Steve was... apologizing to him? Not the other way around?

"I read some of your blog," Steve said and Tony panicked again, Steve holding him closer when he felt brunet's body tense, "and I understand how hard it is for you to talk about it and how important it is for you. I really do. If anything, I am... a bit disappointed you didn't tell me. Why didn't you?"

Tony's mouth twisted into a scowl. He was disappointed with himself too, but it was hard. Harder than admitting that he liked being pinned down by Steve, or spanked, as it all seemed... simpler. It was obvious why people who enjoyed it were turned on by it. Tickling wasn't easy to explain. 

"I wanted to," Tony finally spoke, his voice coming out quiet, "I didn't know how," this wasn't a good answer. Tony closed his eyes, not able to look at Steve. "I was embarrassed, I guess."

"Hmmm," Steve hummed in understanding, waiting for Tony to continue, but he didn't say anything more. Tony had no problems with voicing out his needs on his site, but face to face with Steve, he was fumbling and struggling for words. Anonymity gave him a sense of control which was being stripped away from him, layer by layer. Maybe with time, Tony would open more, and it was on Steve's side to nurture that vulnerable mindset until Tony would feel strong enough and confident to voice out his true needs. 

"Then... can you tell me why you like it?" Steve tried, sounding gentle and not judgmental. Keeping an open mind was the key here.

"I don't know," Tony said quickly, sounding defensive. He didn't mean to, but it was stranger than him. He didn't want Steve to judge him, to think less of him, but... It was Steve. Steve who was always so understanding and didn't laugh at him and did his best to keep Tony feel accepted. It won't work if Steve would be the only one willing to share. "I guess," Tony corrected himself, trying to be more open, "I like the trust in it. And closeness," he said, tugging on Steve's clothes and hiding more into his boyfriend, "and, uh, it feels good."

"Feels good?"

"Yeah," Tony admitted, burying his heated face deeper into Steve's neck. "Feels really good. Especially when you are the one ti - doing it."

"Oh," Steve said, carding his fingers through the short hair on the back of Tony's head. Tony shivered, just slightly, from the light touch, smiling against Steve's skin and Steve felt an urge to touch him all over. This time differently, more aware and more intimate, paying closer attention to the reactions. "So... you wanna do it?"

"Do what?"

"You know what."

Tony moved away from Steve, showing a confused face. That kinda felt like mocking him, but Steve's face was honest. And it would certainly change the mood and make Tony feel better about this whole day. "I don't know," Tony said, just to be safe, "do you want to do it?"

"Heck yeah."

"What? You do?" Tony asked, his mouth falling agape at the enthusiasm. 

"Sure. You like it and I like tickling you too. It's a win-win, right?"

Tony started to smile in relief. It was really happening. Steve accepted one of Tony's darkest secrets and even wanted to take part in it. Tony could barely wrap his mind around it, already feeling excited and giddy.

"So?" Steve asked again, eyes sparkling, waiting for permission from his boyfriend.

"If you keep asking, it takes the surprise factor AWAAHHAHA!" Tony's newly found boost of confidence was efficiently cut off when Steve latched hands to his sides and squeezed repeatedly. Tony doubled over in laughter and squirmed away, watching with a pounding heart as Steve followed him, smiling beautifully mischievous. "No, no, no, wait, Steve! STEHEVE!" Tony screeched in laughter when Steve ran forward, pushing Tony on the bed, and falling with him. "ACK! STE - hahaha! Waaait!" Tony wailed when fingers were going up and down his body tickling intensely. When Tony became pink in the face and a little breathless, Steve stopped, leaning in and kissing Tony's smiling lips.

"I love you, babe," Steve whispered, looking at his lover.

"I love you too," Tony answered, his heart hammering from the ticklish rush and all love he had for Steve. 

"Are we good?"

"We are good," Tony assured, still not believing that everything turned out so great. 

"Good," Steve smiled, and just now Tony realized that somehow both of his wrists were in soldier's hold and Steve easily pinned his hands above his head, leaving his torso exposed. "Because now," Steve said, sitting on Tony's thighs and slowly sliding his free hand under Tony's shirt. "I want to test every ticklish spot on you."

"Oh fuhahahck - " Tony wriggled uselessly, his stomach sinking in when Steve gently ran fingertips over the soft skin. "Steve, Steve, pleaheehehehese!"

"This is just your tummy and you already are so ticklish. It is a very promising start."

"Ahhahaha!"

"Oh, is this rib ticklish? How about this one? And this one?"

"GAAA HAHAHA!"

"Oh look, the higher I go, the more you laugh. Sooo, this means that when I do this -"

"PFF HAHAHAHA!"

"That's one ticklish armpit you have, babe! Let's find out if the other one is as ticklish -"

Steve was grinning, watching Tony crumbling and laughing, coming apart under his fingers. Steve was right, it was a win-win for both of them.

***

"You should write on your Tumblr."

"Huh?"

"You should," Steve repeated, rolling on completely naked Tony and kissing his lips, "write on your," a kiss on the chin, "Tumblr," Steve finished, blowing a raspberry into Tony's neck.

"HAAHAHA! Stoooop," Tony tried to swat Steve away, feeling too blissful to move. Of course that a long, intimate tickle session changed into an amazing make out. It was incredible how the tickle foreplay increased their appetite and how wonderfully responsive Tony became. 

Steve laughed and rolled on his side, looking at Tony with adoration. Laughing made Tony ten times more attractive in Steve's eyes, and Tony was off the scale to start with. 

"I am serious, babe," Steve tried again, gently poking his finger all over Tony's bare belly, making him squeak funnily and curl up, "write on your Tumblr. Everyone has to be worried."

"Ah hahaha... Ohkahay!" Tony agreed, shielding his stomach with one hand and using the other one to reach for his phone. "Uhh... Should I update and delete it?" Tony asked. With everything working out so great, there was no reason for him to keep that account. No more secret lusting, when he had it all in real life.

"If you want to," Steve said truthfully, "or maybe you can keep it for a bit longer because I might need some inspiration on how to take you apart."

"Ahhh, not sure if I want to give you access to that sort of power," Tony teased, opening the app. "Huh, people kinda hate you."

Steve shrugged, understanding that what he wrote, did sound menacing, even if it wasn't his intention. "Just write that we are fine and your boyfriend plans on fulfilling your each and every one tickle fantasy."

"You do?" Tony asked, voice trembling with excitement.

"All of them, babe," Steve assured, smiling broadly. He had remembered some of the things he read and gifs he saw, and could easily imagine Tony on the receiving end. 

Looking enthusiastic, Tony got to writing. Soon, Steve got up and leaned over Tony's shoulder, looking at the screen.

'Hi, guys. Sorry for the sudden silence but as you saw we had a situation here. It is all good now, me and BF talked, and he turned to be all sweet about it, not bragging, I just had my first tickle session and it was amazing! So, I just wanted to give you an update, that I am fine. More than fine. My BF said that I can keep this Tumblr if I want to and he will even use it as an inspiration, so aaaah, can't wait. Just don't give him any ideas! I am gonna talk to you all soon, but for now, I and my BF have plans. See you later!'

After the post got published, Tony and Steve didn't have to wait for a reaction.

'AAAAH! I AM SO GLAD EVERYTHING IS FINE! YOU BOYS HAVE FUN NOW!'

'Awesome, couple goals.'

'That's great, dude, but I hope your BF apologized.'

"That's the one that doesn't like me, right?" Steve squinted his eyes, pointing at the last comment. Tony laughed and nosed Steve's cheek playfully.

"It is okay, I like you," he smiled. "Do you want to have a nickname? That will make it much easier for me to write when you are involved."

"Um, sure," Steve said, not entirely sold on the idea, but not wanting to shot Tony's idea down. "You call yourself Spare Parts Man, right?" Steve asked and Tony nodded. "Soooo... How about you call me Iron Man?"

Tony's smile dropped in surprise, and he laughed mockingly. "Seriously, dude?"

"Hey, the darkest place is under the candle," Steve said, sounding defensive.

"Fine," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes dramatically. He reblogged the post and added an update.

'BF wants you to call him Iron Man. I know, lame.'

"Ack!" Tony almost dropped his phone when Steve scoldingly pinched his side. Soon the first comments came.

'Ah you sound like a superhero couple, how cute!'

'I am shipping you both. #relationshipgoals'

'Wow, your BF is not very creative, isn't he? But fine, let it be IRON MAN.'

"Write to this one that I don't like them either," Steve hissed, looking at the last comment. 

Tony laughed and turned to Steve, pressing their lips together in a kiss. Long and sweet. The kind of kiss that was the perfect happy ending to a tickle kink coming out story.

"Oh, interesting!" Steve suddenly said, ending the kiss too soon and looking at one of the comments, smiling wickedly. 

"What is int - noooooo!" Tony wailed, understanding the reason behind the smile. It was stronger than him and Tony started to panic. "It is a lie, Steve! Don't believe the lieeee no no aaah HELP!"

Steve laughed, wrestling Tony down and pinning his hands once again. If Tony was already getting this worked up, there was no way Steve would back up.

"No, please!" Tony giggled, kicking his legs, trying to wriggle away, as Steve's menacingly moving fingers were getting closer and closer. "I cahahahan't!"

Somehow, Steve didn't believe him. Instead, he believed the comment.

'Hey, this is for Iron Man - I am sure you know already, that SP's stomach is really ticklish, but did you try tickling his belly button specifically? From what SP writes it is a very ticklish outie. Have fun!'

When Steve pressed his finger over Tony's outie delicately and Tony burst into giggling, almost maniacal laughter, Steve was in heaven. It was settled, Tony was keeping his blog for further tips for Steve. 

[blueeyedgeorgie]

Makeup With Y/N-A.E

“can you please do a part two to makeup where instead of Alex doing reader's makeup it's the other way round?” @soldier-42​

Gif cred. @sdmngifs​

Pairing: ImAllexx x Reader

Word Count: 1.9k+

Pronouns: She/Her

_________________

"Hello everyone, I'm Alex, and this is Y/n." Makeup had been laid out on the coffee table in front of them. Alex and Y/n had been planning a second video involving makeup after the first one had done so well. "Because you all love Y/n more than me, I brought her back for part two where they do my makeup instead," Alex smiled at the camera set up across the room. "How'd I do last time, Y/n?" "You did okay, I feel like you'd definitely need to learn a couple of tips to improve with." His girlfriend grinned, already beginning to look through the makeup set out on the table, "Can I get started yet?" "Yeah, of course," he smiled. "While you get started on that, I'm gonna open up Twitter. I actually tweeted out for people to send in a couple of questions for us." "Good idea," Y/n picked up a cylinder tube, pulling the cap off. For a moment they let a bit of clear liquid leave the top of it before turning back to Alex. "Is that... primer?" Alex bit his lip, watching as his girlfriend move his hair out of his face. Y/n gave a small 'yep' as a response, beginning to put on the first part of Alex's makeup. "See, I'm working on learning this stuff." "Good job, bubba," his girlfriend pulled away, beginning to look at more containers of makeup placed out on the table. "I'm proud of you, but are you gonna read any questions?" "Oh yeah, let me get started on that," he went back to opening Twitter, leaving Y/n be for a moment so she could decide on which foundation would work well for him. For a moment or two, he scrolled. The sound of Y/n humming softly kept the silence away as both of them took a moment to finish their tasks. After picking out the right foundation, Y/n turned back to her boyfriend with a bit of the pale liquid placed on her hand and a blender in hand. "While you do that, I think I found a good question," Alex looked back up at Y/n, allowing her to begin to put the coat of foundation on his skin. "What's my favorite food?" "You enjoy breakfast, but you also like pasta," She smiled, patting in the makeup. "I've made both of those meals for you plenty of times." "God, you're an amazing cook," he smiled softly, watching her as she focused. "Could we have pasta tonight?" "Of course, Bubba. But what about me? What's my favorite food?" "you don't have a favorite, every time I think I know what's your favorite food you change it. First it was Chinese food, then you went to salads, afterward was acai bowls, and I think the last time I asked you said mangos." "Yeah, there's no point in lying. I change my favorite food too often," Y/n giggled, taking a moment to place the blender back down. "I think right now it's Vegetarian pizza." "That actually doesn't sound too terrible," Alex took a moment to glance at the camera before looking back to Y/n. "Do you think we could have that tonight instead of pasta?" "Yeah, sure bubba," she replied while picking up some concealer. "How do have such good skin, Al?" "I don't know. I wash my face in the shower, toss some cold water on my face every now and then, it's not really that complicated for me." "Well it's not fair," Letting out a huff of air, Y/n applied the concealer to Alex's face. "Actually, maybe it is with the bags under your eyes." She turned to the camera, pausing what she was doing. "Guys, this boy stays up so late. One night he called me at like, 2 AM and asked me if I wanted to go out to McDonald's with him... of course, I said yes." "I remember that night, I think it was one of my favorite moments with you," he let out a soft chuckle. He could remember giving Y/n one of his hoodies that night. As Y/n started with bronzer, someone had walked into the living room. "Oh, are we doing Alex's makeup this time? Could I join this video?" George grinned, stepping behind the camera so he couldn't be seen. "No George." "Why?" "Remember the last time you did Alex's makeup?" "Yeah, and he looked beautiful," George let out a small giggle as he thought about what Alex looked like when he tried to apply makeup to his face. "Don't you think he looked good, Y/n?" "Alex always looks good, but the fact you used a foundation brush to apply eyeshadow to his face tells me I shouldn't trust you with his makeup," Y/n had turned back to Alex, continuing to work on his bronzer. "If you actually wanna do his makeup, you can film a video with him later. I don't want you to mess up this makeup look I'm planning." "Guys, George is pouting behind the camera," Alex glanced to his roommate, who was making a fake pouting face as Y/n worked. "Go away, George!" There was a moment of silence as Y/n worked on Alex's highlighter, ignoring the existence of Alex's flatmate as she worked. Eventually, George disappeared back into his bedroom once he had received a text message from someone. "He's gone." "Thank god, I love Georgie but sometimes he can just get on my nerves so easily," y/n let out a huff of breath as she swapped the highlighter out for blush and a different brush. "Yeah, anyway I'm gonna get back to looking for more questions," Alex hummed softly, opening his phone back up. "Move too much and I'll mess up your makeup on purpose," Y/n began to work on placing the rosy powder against her boyfriend's cheekbones. "Don't worry about it," he replied while beginning to scroll through the plenty of replies he received over the blue app. "What is Y/n's go-to Starbucks order?" "I really like a nice iced latte with coconut milk," she smiled, taking a moment to admire the work she had done so far on Alex's face. "you enjoy their cappuccinos, don't you?" "you know it," Alex let out a soft chuckle, watching his girlfriend. The way she always looked at him always made him feel so happy. "God, I love you." "I love you more," Y/n grinned, leaning in for a kiss. during the sweet moment, everything around them seemed to disappear as their lips were connected. Even after pulling away from each other, both of them held a smile on their face. "Anyways, I think we should get started on your eyeshadow." The h/c girl picked up a palette that had been laid out on the coffee table with the rest of the makeup, flashing it to the camera. "Since we used your palette in the last video, I thought we could use one of mine this time. I just chose James Charles's palette because why not?" While opening the palette, Y/n muttered a few extra words, "Shane and Jeffree are also incredibly problematic and I refuse to support them." "Tempted to throw that palette out the window as soon as we're finished with this video," Alex closed his eyes, waiting for Y/n to apply the eyeshadow. "If you actually do that, we need to film that," Y/n let out a giggle. "For your eyeshadow, I think we should go for a classic pink look. So I think I'm gonna use 'skip' first, then add on a bit of 'pinkity drinkity' and 'literally' afterward." "Who let James name his eyeshadows?" Alex let out a sigh, peaking one of his eyes open to look at Y/n while she applied 'skip' to his left eyelid. "I'm not sure, Bubba. Maybe you could ask him yourself," she shook her head as she pulled the eyeshadow brush away, going to collect more of the warm color known as 'skip.' "Close both of your eyes, please." A moment of silence passed as Y/n worked on Alex's eyeshadow, meanwhile his hand found its way to her thigh as she worked. Eventually, Y/n told Alex he could open his eyes as she put the palette back down on the table. "Jesus, Y/n... I don't know how you're so good with makeup," Alex took a second to admire himself in the mirror placed on the coffee table with the rest of the makeup. "Years of practice, bubba," she turned back to her boyfriend, a new item in hand. "Time for eyeliner." "Oh god... promise not to get it in my eye?" "Relax, Al. I've had to deal with teaching my 12 year old cousin not to flinch while I taught them how to use eyeliner properly. I think I can handle not getting it in your eyes." Y/n inched closer to her boyfriend, placing a leg over his lap to get closer to him. She carefully placed her thumb on one of his temple's bringing the eyeliner down against his eyelid. Gently, she worked on perfecting both wings on him while mumbling, soft 'good job, bubba,' and 'you're doing amazing.' Once she was happy with the final result, Y/n pulled away from Alex, letting him see himself in the mirror. "How are you feeling about fake eyelashes?" "No." "No?" "No, Y/n." "Fine," she let out a huff of breath once more, placing the eyeliner on the table. "Are you done with everything?" Alex looked to Y/n with a small smile, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Yeah, I think so," she smiled, leaning against Alex's chest while looking down into the mirror at Alex. "You forgot lipstick or gloss or something." "Fuck! That's no fair! Lemme put some on you!" Y/n snatched a tube of lipstick up from the coffee table, going to try and put it on her boyfriend's lips. "No, you didn't let me finish putting makeup on your face, I'm not gonna let you finish yours," Alex moved her hands away from his face with a smirk. "You know what? Fuck it," Y/n turned to the mirror, beginning to place the lipstick on her own lips. As soon as enough was applied, she turned back to Alex, cupping his cheeks with her hands and pulling him in for a passionate kiss. After a moment, she pulled away, "Did it work? Did you get at least a tint of color on your lips?" Alex turned, looking into the mirror to check, "I think I might have gotten a bit on me." "Yes!" Y/n let out a giggle, grinning at the camera, "I win!" As Alex wrapped an arm around Y/n's waist once again, he playfully rolled his eyes before looking back to the camera. "Alright, I think that brings our second makeup video to an end," he quickly placed a kiss on Y/n's forehead before continuing the outro. "Y/n's social medias will be plugged in the description below and the makeup she used too. Thank you everybody for watching this video, If you guys did enjoy and would like to see more videos with Y/n, leave a like-" "And subscribe if you're new!" Y/n chirped in with a smile. Alex's smile only grew wider as he heard his girlfriend help with the outro. "And we'll see you guys in the next one, have a good day." And just like that, the recording had come to an end.

Taglist: @anyasthoughts @multifandom-but @blondiee-seaveyy @springholland @caswinchester2000

[kalimagik]

How You Get The Girl

Based off of the song “How You get the Girl” by Taylor Swift 

Tom Holland x Reader 

<4K

Warning: Some cursing...but a lot of floooof - I just love happy endings, so be ready! 

A/N: Here is the second part that follows my last fic “The Moment I Knew.” I wrote these ones a while ago an wasn’t sure if I wanted to share them or let anyone else read anything until my friend convinced me to start putting them on Tumblr, so I hope you like it! It you do, like, comment, reblog, or follow. Happy reading <3 

*Not My GIF! Credits to Owner

It had been about 6 months since Y/N left her flat in London to spend some time back at her childhood home with her family. She had hoped that being around everything familiar would help her to forget the past year and a half and life she had built in London. She had gotten drunk with her friends, but that didn’t help. She would wake up startled in the middle of the night by dreams about how things used to be. They seemed so real to her. Once the holidays ended, Y/N knew she needed to go back to London before the New Year. As much as she wanted to avoid the holiday by staying at home, she needed to get back to her post in London. 

Once leaving the airport, Y/N found a car to take her to her flat. 

“Could you take the bridge?” Y/N asked the driver.

“Are you sure? That adds 20 minutes,” the driver responded.

“Yes please. I’m in earlier than expected and am not due back for a while.” 

The driver nodded his head and put the car in drive. Y/N looked out the window and with each corner the car drove by, the memories came flooding back. There was the coffee shop where she had met Tom. There was the market where they did their weekly shopping together. There was the arcade where Tom had won her a large plastic ring. There were just too many memories. Y/N snapped her head forward to look at the road ahead of her. The red light in front of her cab lasted forever, but that was fine with Y/N. 

“Is it going to be alright?” Y/N thought to herself. 

The glaring red gave her a feeling of the unknown. She didn’t know. 

-

-

“Common, Y/N! Don’t do this!” 

“TOM! I told you! I can’t just wait for the time where I will fit into your life. I need someone who makes themself as available for me as I do for them. I need someone who is committed to this relationship. Jacob and Zendaya made it for my party and they’ve been just as busy as you. I cannot take the excuses anymore,” Y/N yelled through the tears.

Tom had been in her flat for nearly two hours trying to plead his case, but it didn’t do anything to change Y/N’s mind. She pulled out the largest suitcase she had and started packing. 

“Where are you going to go?” he asked. 

“I’m going home, Tom. I need some time away from here. Can you please just give me that?” 

“When will you come back?” 

“I don’t know. I bought a one way ticket. I need to be near my family,” Y/N blurted as she threw sweaters into her bag. 

“Sweaters? It’s summer time! Are you really going to run away from this?” 

“I’m not running away! I’m finally choosing me! Can’t you understand that?” Y/N turned around to face him for the first time in nearly an hour. 

“Can I at least call you? Or come and see you?” he asked hopefully. 

I would really prefer if you didn’t. I need this time,” Y/N responded as calmly as she could. 

“Will you call me when you come back?” Tom tried again. 

“I don’t know. Good luck, Tom. Maybe I’ll see you again,” Y/N said with so much pain. 

-

- 

Y/N wiped the few stray tears from her eyes as the cab pulled up in front of her building. Seeing it for the first time in all those months just reminded her of why she had left. Nevertheless, she pulled herself together, picked up her bags, and climbed the steps to the place that had once felt like home. 

Walking inside, she turned on the old lights, the electricity flickering after having not been used for so long. 

“Hello house,” Y/N whispered as she took her place all in. 

Not a thing had moved. Zendaya asked to stop by just to bring her mail in and the pile was all that showed that someone had still lived there. Sitting down her bags in the kitchen, Y/N went through her six months of mail to see if anything caught her eye. 

“bill, bill, magazine, bill, six bank statements, magazine, invitation…” Y/N stopped as she looked at an envelope addressed to her. 

There wasn’t a return address, but Y/N easily recognized the handwriting that spelled out her name. She flipped it over, trying to decide if she wanted to open it, when she read on the back flap ‘I’m really sorry. Please just read this…’ 

She couldn’t do it though. She threw the envelope back on the table and stared at it.

*RING RING RING*

Y/N jumped as her phone went off in her purse. Finally peeling her eyes off of the letter, she went to fetch it. 

‘CALL FROM Momma’ her phone screen read. 

“Hi Mom!” Y/N answered, putting on a smile even though her mom couldn’t see it, “I just got back to my apartment, haven’t quite settled in though.” 

“That’s great to hear! I just wanted to check in and make sure you got back alright,” Y/N’s mom said excitedly through the phone.

“I did, thank you. I’ll tell you all about my trip tomorrow though, I’m feeling drained from it and just need to get myself settled.”

“I understand, honey. I’ll let you go! I loved having you home! Love you, Y/N/N.”

“Love you too, mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye!” Y/N ended the call and let out a deep breath as she looked around again.

Before heading up to her bedroom, she sent Daya a quick text telling her that she was back in London and grabbed her bags to lug them up the steps. 

 -

-

*BZZZZ*

“Give me a minute!” Zendaya laughed as she walked away from her group at the pub to check her phone, “Oh my gosh…” Her face went straight.

“What is it?” Harry asked her as he took a sip of his beer.

“Y/N’s back in London,” Zendaya said just as surprised as everyone else at the table. 

Upon hearing the news, almost every pair of eyes went to look at Tom.

“Did you know she was coming back?” someone asked him.

“No. I haven’t heard from her in six months. I was starting to think she wouldn’t be coming back,” Tom answered slowly, “Did you know she was coming back, Zendaya?” 

“She had told me a few months ago that she was going to eventually, but never said when. I’m just as surprised as you to be hearing from her,” the actress answered honestly. 

“Should we go see her?” Harrison asked almost timidly. 

“She said she is turning in early tonight. It was a long day of traveling,” Zendaya said as she read the message a little further. 

“Tom, you okay?” Tuwaine asked as Tom sat there silently. 

“What do I do guys? I obviously still love her…” Tom finally said as he thought back on the last six months. 

He could barely think about going on dates with anyone else, so he didn’t, despite his friends urging him to. He checked her social media almost regularly and asked Zendaya constantly if she had heard from Y/N. His work was just something he went to and did every day, but he didn’t care about it. It wasn’t the same without her there. He was a complete mess until 2 months into her being gone, his mom convinced him to write a letter with everything he was feeling in it. 

He wrote down everything he wanted Y/N to know. He knew that she had asked him not to contact her, so he sent it to her flat hoping that she would read it when she was back in London. It didn’t make him feel much better because she wasn’t there, but it allowed him to continue on with everyday life even if he was still hurting. Hoping that maybe she would read it was really what kept him afloat. 

“Do you think she read my letter?” he asked no one in particular. 

“She didn’t say anything about it…” Zendaya answered, “but maybe she hasn’t gone through her mail yet. There was six months’ worth!” 

Tom could just nod his head.

“What do I do?” he said hopelessly, “Do I wait until she calls me? Do I go and see her?” 

“Let me try and talk to her and see where she is first, Tom. Don’t do anything too irrational,” Zendaya tried to talk him down. 

“Fine. But I need to hear something about her soon…” 

 -

-

Y/N tossed and turned the first night back in her bed. It wasn’t that it was uncomfortable. In fact, it was like a cloud that had been puffed just for her, but the letter sitting on her kitchen table seemed as though it was screaming. Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about it and wondering what Tom had to say to her. Maybe that he had found someone else and moved on. Maybe that he didn’t love her anymore. Maybe to say that she had been wrong about the whole thing and he could never agree with her. Every possibility went across her mind and none of them were good. 

Flipping over one more time, Y/N checked her phone. 2:30 AM. She should be sound asleep right now! Lightning flashed light through her curtains and her ears were filled with the sound of rain drops hitting her windows and the ground outside. 

Letting out a loud sigh for no one but herself, Y/N threw off the blankets and got out of bed. She quickly went down the steps, flipped on the kitchen lights, and held the letter in her hands for a second time. She looked at it for what felt like an eternity contemplating whether or not she should open it. 

Not bringing herself to do it, she carried it back up the stairs, sat it on her night table, and scrolled through social media to distract herself. She favorited some tweets and then switched to Instagram. That’s when she stumbled across a picture that Sam had posted around the time she got back. She could see the smiling faces of all the people she had met through Tom. In the middle of them was the smiling face of Tom himself. Y/N hadn’t really let herself explore the feelings she might still have for Tom. She had felt the pain for so long that she just wanted to be numb to the whole thing. This picture though, seeing him in a natural setting for the first time in months, opened the floodgates. 

Of course she still loved him. How could she not? She had spent the last six months avoiding all thoughts of him, but apparently the simplest picture brought back all of her feelings. How could she know if he had still felt the same way? It had been six months. 

That’s when, without thinking, Y/N grabbed the letter from her bedside table and used her fingers to open it up. She examined the few sheets of paper and the handwriting that was so clearly his. 

‘My Dearest Y/N it started. Reading the words brought tears to Y/N’s eyes. She wouldn’t let herself sob though. She read Tom’s sorry’s and tales of how he was such a mess without her. Y/N’s heart opened for him, but the letter dated 2 months after she had left…A lot could have changed for him in the four months that followed. But he signed it ‘With all of the love I could possibly possess, The boy whose heart is always yours’ How could anything change that much? 

*BZZZZ*

Y/N sat the letter down to look at her phone screen. It was Zendaya.

‘I see you’re active on social media at 2:30 AM. Go unlock your door. I’m coming over to see one of my best friends for the first time in MONTHS!’ the text read. 

Y/N laughed as she could hear Daya’s voice through the text. 

She quickly slid the letter back into the envelope and put it into her bedside table drawer. She pulled a sweatshirt over her head and went down the steps to unlock her door. She slid into the kitchen to put a kettle on the stove and make some tea. 

“Knock! Knock! KNOCK!” Zendaya called walking through the door.

“In here, Daya!” Y/N called as she pulled out her assortment of tea. 

“You are looking absolutely radiant!” She smiled as she popped into the kitchen. 

“I look disgusting. I didn’t even shower the plane off of me,” Y/N laughed. 

“I don’t think that matters. I haven’t seen you in six months! You look beautiful in my eyes,” she said as she wrapped Y/N in a hug, “How have you been? I’ve barely heard from you at all?” 

“I’m really sorry for that. I was living in the moment at home, ya know?” Y/N tried to explain.

“I get it. Are you doing better? Are you here to stay?” Zendaya pried. 

“I think so. I missed London. I missed my life here. I couldn’t stay away.” 

“That makes me happy to hear! London missed you too! Plus, I am so sick of being around boys all the time! The group needs you!” 

“Daya…” Y/N slowly said, pouring the water, “I don’t think I’m going to be hanging out with the group. I’m sure they don’t even want to see me…” 

“What are you talking about? I was with them when you texted me and Harrison asked if we should come see you right then!” 

“Wait…You were with them when I got back? So they know I’m here? All of them?” Y/N tested, not wanted to come right out and ask about Tom. 

“Girl! You do not have to do that with me! Just ASK ME ABOUT TOM!” 

“How is he?” Y/N asked timidly, blushing at Zendaya’s directness.

“He hasn’t been himself. You have to know this is killing him. He misses you. For fucks sake, he was asking me about you every day!” 

Y/N looked down at the mug in her hands, trying to figure out how to proceed with this subject. 

“You should just call him,” Zendaya interrupted her thoughts. 

“I can’t do that. I’ve picked up my phone a million times…” 

“It’s up to you, but he will answer,” Zendaya encouraged. 

“Thanks, Z. Can we be done with this now?” 

“Sure. Only if you tell me all about your time at home! Spill!” 

Y/N smiled as she began to catch up with her with her friend at 3 AM. 

 -

-

Three gloomy days had gone by and Tom still didn’t have any word on the girl he loved. She’d been in London for three whole days and hadn’t called him. The silence was deafening to him. He couldn’t take it any longer. He needed to do something. 

“Guys. I need to make a gesture. I have to see her.” 

Tom was breaking as he stood in front of his friends. 

“Have any of you heard from her? Haz, you grew pretty close with her. Can you give me anything?” 

“Tom. If she had reached out to me, I would have told you right away. Why would I keep that from you?” 

“I know, I know. I’m sorry, mate. I’ve just been on the fucking edge. Why hasn’t she called?” 

“I wish we knew. I really wish we did.”

As the boys contemplated what Tom should do, Zendaya finally made an appearance after three days.

“Long time, no see!” Harry joked, “Where have you been hiding?” 

“I’ve, uh, been with Y/N actually. We had a lot to catch up on…”  she responded, looking at everyone but Tom. 

“Did she say anything about me?” He asked, hope in his eyes. 

“Tom. You know that’s not my place.” 

“Please, Z! I’m going out of my mind here. I’m trying to respect what she asked of me, but I don’t think I can much longer.” 

“We did talk about you, but she wasn’t giving me much. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. Thank you. Do you think I can go see her?” Tom asked. 

“It’s up to you. I don’t know. Like I said, I can’t get a read on her.” Zendaya tried to explain. 

“I’m going to see her. I need to. What should I say to her? I don’t want to come on too strong.” Tom asked. 

“Tell her how you feel. Tell her what you know she needs to hear. I think it could be romantic,” Tuwaine chimes in. 

“I’m going to do it. I’ll see you mates later. Wish me luck! Z, don’t tell her that I am coming. Got it? I can’t have her running away again.” 

“Fine, Tom. Go get her.” 

 -

-

London was rainy this time of year. It was always rain or snow and today, the rain was coming down harder than the day that Y/N had gotten back. She had finally unpacked everything from her six month excursion home and picked up the packages that she had shipped back to London. 

For the first time, Y/N was able to flop down on her couch and relax. She flipped on the TV to watch a Christmas movie (after Christmas). The sound of Anna Kendrick talking calmed her down and the sound of the rain made her eyes start to flutter as if sleep would come at any minute. 

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Y/N was so startled that she shot right up. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she didn’t know who it could be. 

Wrapping a blanket around her, she made her way towards the door. 

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

Whoever this was, they were not very patient. Y/N looked out the peephole, but couldn’t see anything because of the rain. She unlocked each of the locks that lined her door and opened it up to come face to face with a drenched Tom. 

“Are you insane, Tom?! You are going to catch pneumonia!” Y/N looked at him in shock.

“I need to talk to you and I will stand here until you let me,” Tom said while looking her straight in the eye. 

“Come in I guess. I can’t leave you out there.” 

Y/N opened the door enough for Tom to walk in. She had no idea what she was feeling or how she was going to be able to talk to him. 

“What is it Tom?” Y/N asked as they stood in her front hallway. 

“Please, please, just let me say this,” he asked.

“Okay,” Y/N nearly whispered as she wrapped her blanket around her tighter. 

“It’s been the longest fucking six months of my life. Back at your birthday, I was too scared. I couldn’t tell you what you wanted to hear. But love, I want you. I want every bit of you. For worse and for better. I will wait forever for you. I know that I completely broke your heart, but I will do everything I can to be the one to put it back together for you, if you haven’t done that already.” 

Y/N looked at Tom with teary eyes. She didn’t know what to say, but Tom wasn’t done yet. 

“Y/N. This is my absolute favorite picture of us. I couldn’t bring myself to change it after you left. I messed up so badly. I have not been able to forgive myself for it.” 

Y/N looked at his screen saver. The picture had been one of her favorites too. It was their first Christmas together. Tom took Y/N to see the place in London with the most beautiful Christmas lights. She had been in awe and so excited at the same time. Tom couldn’t stop holding on to her all night. One of their friends had snapped the picture of them right as Tom kissed Y/N on the cheek with his arms wrapped around her waist. It really had been a perfect night.

“Y/N?”

She snapped out of the happy memory.

“I know that there is no excuse for why I wasn’t there that night and why I didn’t even call you. I had to of lost my mind then. There is no excuse for it. I left you all alone though and I was too much of a coward to tell you why and I’m so sorry. I don’t expect you to say anything to me right now, but I’m telling you, I will wait forever for you. You are my person. I just need you to know that.” 

Tom finished his speech. He definitely hadn’t prepared at all, but that was how he felt. 

Y/N knew it must’ve been so hard for him. She couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. Tom had just poured his heart out to her, but she didn’t know what to say. Was it okay for her to just go back to him? She was so confused. Her head was telling her that she couldn’t in order to avoid any kind of pain later, but her heart was a different story. Her heart wanted her to open her arms and take him right back into them. She hadn’t stopped loving him over just six months. He was all she thought about and cried about and dreamed about. 

“Okay, I know I said I didn’t expect you to say anything now, love, but could you give me some sort of sign?” 

Y/N realized that the two minutes she had sat there pondering, must’ve seemed like an eternity to Tom. 

“I’m really just trying to gather my thoughts, Tom. I knew that I’d see you again, but I honestly didn’t know what to expect or what I would do. I don’t have anything to say that is nearly as beautiful as that, but I did miss you. I missed you so much Tom…” 

Y/N finally looked up into Tom’s chocolate eyes, which were twinkling like when she first knew she loved him. Let’s be honest, she knew she couldn’t let him walk away. She still loved him. And the feelings she felt for him didn’t come around for people very often in a lifetime. 

The tears fell faster from her eyes as she tried to wipe them away. 

“Hey, hey. I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Tom looked so worried for her. He slowly inched forward, putting out a hand to wipe the tears for her. He couldn’t stop himself. That was one of the things she loved about him. 

“I love you, Tom,” Y/N finally blurted out, “I love you so much.” 

Tom smiled the biggest smile that he had made in months. His heart filled with so much joy and he couldn’t believe that he has her back as his again. 

Tom took both hands, one against her cheek with a thumb wiping the last of her tears and the other wrapped around her waist and onto the small of her back to pull her closer to him. Their lips connected, finally, after six lonely months. Tom got the girl. 

[cafedanslanuit]

I always wanted to marry rich || Jumin x MC (2/2)

genre; angst pairing; Jumin Han x MC notes; part two of two. read part one here. I finally wrote the last part! Honestly I had to rewrite it a couple of times because I wasn’t happy with how it ended. Now I finally do. Hope you like it! <3

~ ~ ~

“check your email”

Jumin didn’t even bother opening Seven’s text. He just read it on the notifications bar and opened his email app. He found a file with her future wife’s name and opened it. Two seconds later, his battery died out of the blue. Jumin sighed. The phone was charged, maybe it was starting to malfunction. He opened his laptop and his email. He printed the document Seven had sent so he could look over them more comfortably. Jumin poured himself a glass of wine and sat on the kitchen table.

MC’s bank account was rather small and the incomes where what he expected, savings from her last job she had told him about. She purchased small amounts in makeup stores, coffee places and other things. She had graduated top of her class at university in her homeland with a scholarship.

There were some pages about her estranged father. He was living in Spain and had remarried. He had two kids, ten and twelve. He hadn’t been in touch with MC or her mother apparently. There was a file about her mother. She was a teacher in South America and worked at a school. Jumin didn’t want to know how Seven got access to her bank account, but he had. She didn’t have much either and the purchases weren’t suspicious at all, MC seemed to send her money every chance she could.

Seven had even traced MC’s tweets back in her uni years. She had made some light-hearted jokes about being broke but nothing that made it seemed like she was planning something. Seven had been kind enough to write down some notes about those tweets not meaning a thing.

The last page was a message with Seven’s messy handwriting.

“Stop stressing! There’s nothing fishy about her”. There was a small drawing of a fish. Of course. “Happy wedding!”

Jumin sighed and crumpled the documents in his hand. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe it was an inside joke? Tons of possibilities were roaming around his head when he heard the door opening and MC’s heels making their way into the penthouse.

She quickly appeared in the kitchen and smiled at him.

“Buenas noches, amor” she teased him with a grin.

“Why did you say you always wanted to marry rich?” Jumin blurted.

MC’s smile fell abruptly.

“What? When did I--” her eyes went sideways, trying to remember. Then she opened her mouth in realisation. “Oh, okay. You listened to me and my mom. Okay” she sighed.

She left her purse on the kitchen table and sat in front of her fiancé, who was looking at her sternly. Never before had he looked at her that way and it made her feel really small. Like she had gotten herself in trouble. She took a deep breath before she could start explaining.

“Okay. You know my mom had serious money issues when I was growing up. So, since I was little she would always tell me to find a wealthy man, seduce him and marry him. That she didn’t want me to live poor all my life, not knowing what it was to not worry about not having enough money to pay all the bills at the end of the month.”

“So, that’s what you did” grunted Jumin, crossing his arms.

“Let me finish, please” MC asked. “Jumin, I’m not marrying you for your money. Let me finish my story, but you need to understand this more than anything. That’s not why I’m marrying you. I didn’t even want to get married in the first place!”

Jumin raised his eyebrows in surprise. MC covered her face with her hands.

“Shit, I’m only making it worse. I’m sorry, I-”

“There’s nothing to discuss here, then” he said, picking up the documents from the table and getting up. MC stood up in front of him quickly, preventing him to leave the kitchen.

“No. No! You’re going to listen to me. You owe me that, at least”.

“I don’t owe you anything”.

“Listen to me!” she pleaded, raising her voice, her eyes filling with tears. “Listen to me. Yes, that was her plan for me but I turned fifteen and decided I didn’t want to become anyone’s wife or depend on anyone. I didn’t want anyone to leave me like they left my mom! So I started studying, got a scholarship to a good university, graduated with honors. I was in between jobs when I joined the RFA. I wasn’t looking for anything. So yes, I didn’t want to get married and then I met you!” she cried.

MC’s face was now full with tears, messing up her make-up. She took another deep breath and wiped her face with the back of her hand. Jumin’s expression softened and embraced her, burying his face on her hair. The soft strawberry aroma broke his heart, how could have he thought this woman, who had shown nothing but love to him was capable to feign that love because she only wanted money?

“But you changed my mind” MC kept talking, her face against his suit. “You changed my mind about wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone. It was not about they money, it was never about the money” she softly pushed Jumin away and looked up at him. “I don’t care. It’s okay, I’ll sign anything”.

“Sign?” Jumin asked, confused.

“Yes, those are from a prenup agreement, right?” she said, looking at the documents Jumin still had in his hand. “C’mon, it’s okay. I’ll sign them right now, I don’t care”.

She took the documents from Jumin before he could stop her. Right when he was about to take them back from his fiancée, her face changed drastically.

“Is this… my bank account?” she asked softly.

“MC, give them back” Jumin said, taking a step forward, but she took a step back.

Her eyes went back and forth the documents, searching through the pages she had in hand. She noticed Jumin trying to get them back, so she quickly walked to the living room. The information on them was correct, but why on Earth did he need to see all of this information? Was this about the comment he had overhead? Why did he-- Before she could comprehend what was happening, she saw a face she hadn’t seen in a long time. She didn’t recognize him at first, but after reading his first and last name -her last name-, there was no mistake.

She stopped, letting Jumin take the documents back from her. If Jumin was talking she couldn’t hear him anymore. Everything had gone silent in her head.

She startled a bit when she felt a hand on her shoulder, shaking her softly.

“MC, my love. Say something, I’m sorry, I--...”

“My dad had more kids?” she asked, in a broken voice. Jumin looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows.

“You didn’t know?”

“No, I… I haven’t heard from him since he left us. I didn’t know… He had more kids?”

MC walked to the sofa and sat down, still trying to process what she had learnt, tears falling down her cheeks in silence. Jumin sat by her side and put an arm around her shoulders, not knowing what to do. He hated himself for making herself feel like that. Her face showed how broken she was, how much weight the news had had for her.

Jumin hugged her, putting her small frame against his chest. He muttered countless apologies. Seven was right. He shouldn’t have dug up information that wasn’t his. He had hurt her more than he thought he could. MC cried in silence for a couple more minutes before she raised her head again to look at him.

“Why do you have this?” she asked, her hand grabbing his shirt and looking at him confused. “Why do you even have this information, I-- I don’t--... Was it too hard to just ask me? Would you have believed what I just said if it didn’t match up with these things?” she looked at the documents Jumin had left on the couch.

“I’m sorry” Jumin said, not counting how many times he had said that already. “I panicked. You know how many times my father has wanted me to marry someone that only wanted me for my money or my position at C&R. I… I certainly didn’t think this through. I’m sorry, I really am. There’s no excuse. I was scared, but I didn’t act like a man. I had no excuse to look into your family history, none”.

MC looked at the dark eyes of his fiancé and sighed. She pursed her lips and took his hand in hers, squeezing it softly. 

“I’m still mad at you” she said, her voice a little hoarse from crying. “And hurt. But I’ve already talked to my therapist about this thing with my dad so… I’m hurt, yes, but honestly… it’s water under the bridge, now. I don’t want to talk about him. What I really want… no, I really need my fiancé to bring me a cup of tea and stay with me tonight. You think you can do that?” she asked.

“Yes, I can” Jumin nodded and stood up quickly, grabbing the documents from Seven’s investigation and crumbling them in his hands.

“Wait, one more thing” she said and Jumin turned to her, expectantly. “You need to trust me, okay? I may not be always the best wife once we get married. But I will always tell you the truth. I meant what I said before, I will sign a prenup so please call your lawyers and tell them to prepare one for you, okay? Can we do this together?”

“No” Jumin said, turning around and making his way to the kitchen. MC felt a sharp pain on her chest.

“What do you mean no?”

“We’re not getting married with a prenup. I trust you. Even though tonight’s events may make you think otherwise, I do. And I want you and everyone to know that. So we’re not getting married with a prenup” Jumin explained from the kitchen. MC chuckled as she heard the sound of the electric water boiler starting.

“Okay” she muttered with a soft smile.

They were days away from the wedding. But somehow, instead of making her more anxious, it made her feel calmer. Jumin was going to mess up again. And someday, she would be the one to mess up. But if they could still find a way to love each other at the end of the day, maybe it was a good idea to get married after all. Honestly, she would have agreed to sign a prenup if Jumin had asked. She knew it wouldn’t have been for personal reasons, but mostly to protect C&R and all the years of work Chairman Han had given the company. But if he was willing to show her how much he trusted her by going against it and refusing the idea that she signed it, it definitely showed how much trust he was willing to show her.

MC saw Jumin coming back from the kitchen with a cup of tea and a bag of her favourite biscuits. She smiled and patted the spot next to her in the sofa.

They could do this. She knew they could.