#this is a tad bit of a vent but not really

[chirpychipslive]

talking about these two in classic rock circles is such a fun ableism litmus test

[hithisartexists]

a line from a song i can’t bother to grab currently

[kujiba]

【Go on and Love Me】

୨୧ — ꒰ male!reader | he/his prounouns | Sagau | Genshinimpact

୨୧ — ꒰ Streamer!Reader who gets sidetracked by people's donations/chats making the genshin characters feel jealous

Ft. Xiao, Wanderer, Kinich, Traveler

A/n: inspired by la2yn0va hsr fic

X I A O

(Name) happily smiled at another donation sent to him after recently completing a natlan quest

"Thanks for the 20 bits donation!"

He thanked the chat with a wide smile, the chat which was filled with people commenting every second flooding the entire screen making (Name) shift his focus to answer their questions about himself.

This cute interaction made (Name) feel warm and lovely in the inside, being able to interact with fans who admired him.

You know who wasn't happy? A dark headed male inside a screen wasn't that happy unlike (Name). Why were these people gifting you so low? Most of all why was (Name)'s attention not on him anymore?

He had to pull alot of strings to make his own crit rise up since (Name)'s luck on the Vermilion domain was absolutely dog shit.

(Name) — Hm? My favorite character in genshin?

Xiao — You called?

Xiao unintentionally blurted that out without any thoughts whatsoever, but when he did realize and saw (Name)'s confused face along with the chat going wild.

Without any choice Xiao did his idle animation to hide his face away from you, he used his mask so that Xiao won't face you for a while since he was in a very vulnerable state

(Name) — New mail? Sweet 300 primos!

(Chat) — Fr? I didn't get any new mail from hoyo yet.

(Name) — Well.. Free primos is free primos

If (Name)'s happy then he'll rest easy today. Hopefully no rumors circulate about what happened earlier.. Self aware fanfics are crazy these days.

W A N D E R E R

Wanderer stared at (Name) blankly, he was too busy thanking people with countless of donations to even realize they were still in a boss fight farming material's for upcoming characters.

Wanderer became (Name)'s fan ever since he saw him at that temporary event named 'Unreconciled Stars Event Quest The Crisis Deepens'.

Smug mf since he made (Name) hit hard pity for him. But was kind enough to give you his c1 after 140 wishes

(Chat) — Why don't you change your main (Streamer Name)?

An irk mark appears on Wanderer's face but wasn't that visible on screen.

Is this swine telling (Name) to replace him with someone else? Hard pass. He was already stolen from (Name)'s attention and now these nobody's are trying to persuade him into maining some other weak random than him.

Just so happen that (Name) spotted a chest nearby and happily went over to open it, Wanderer took this opportunity immediately

(Wanderer) — Unnecessary.

(Chat) — Is it just me or is his voice rougher than usual?

Damn right it's rougher since he just wanted to vent his anger out on any enemies on sight

The chat won't know but what he had said was directly targeted at them, if only he could say every insult known to man right now

So (Name), keep your eyes on him only and no one else, then maybe he'll make his attacks stronger if you comply

(Name) — Well to answer your question earlier chat, no I don't think I'll be changing my main anytime soon. Wanderer's pretty fun to play with.

After (Name) finished talking he took a closer look at Wanderer's face, but his eyes swore Wanderer had a tad bit of pink on his cheeks

His eyes must've been starting to break with the amount of streaming his doing

T R A V E L E R

(Name) had just began to prep for his stream of the week and now he was currently adjusting the Traveler's artifacts to try out a new build

You know what's crazy though? His builds are pretty shitty.

He has the absolute worst luck in artifacts plus in leveling up pieces, most of which usually goes to defense or HP%

But he still hits about 800k regularly with the Traveler! How could he do such thing with only 44.6% Crit rate!?

(Chat) — 1 MILLION?? (Name) are you doing hacks?

(Name) — What? No! Guess my Traveler's just really op

The Traveler is a smug motherfucker

Of course the Traveler wouldn't hit such high numbers without using a...slight adjustment to the system

Sure their pieces are pretty bad but they'll accept anything (Name) had given them! How could they just shake off his hard work on griding for their ascension and talents?

Whenever the Traveler sees (Name)'s shocked expression during the massive crit's appearing on his screen they are damn right happy and overjoyed they managed to satisfy their grace!

(Chat) — Your builds are bad af tho lolol

(Chat) — Why main the Traveler? They're a pretty bad character to main, you should go for Nuevillete or Alhaitham.

The Traveler's good mood immediately faded into dust once he saw the chats text

Are those no lifers saying that they're not fit to be (Name)'s vessel? They're the most perfect one!

What could Nuevillete or whatever character have that they don't? Could they switch elements? Don't think so

If they wanted bigger numbers, the Traveler will show them big numbers all right, if you want them to hit 10 million they're gonna make it happen with just one click

(Name) — Thanks for the suggestion chat but I'm going to stick with the Traveler, I'm already wayyy too attached

The Traveler's mood once again took a 360 and smiled softly at what (Name) said to them, their stomachs fluttering with delight

(Name) is attached to them? No other compliment or praise could ever reach what the Traveler was feeling at the very moment

Their grace! Oh their grace... If only they could just grab onto you and drag you here where you rightfully belong

K I N I C H

Kinich is an upcoming playable character but many in the genshin community have fallen head over heels for him

Yet he couldn't careless about them, after all just being near (Name)'s presence even though it's just by the Traveler's vessel already makes him nice and comfortable

(Name) — Day 10 of saving up for Kinich let's goo

(Chat) — Woah already 200 wishes? You're quick man

(Name) — Can't help it lmao, Kinich seems fun to play and he's really pretty!

(Chat) — He seem's boring though

(Chat) — Dude the dialouge is slightly glitching wtf

The dialouge's glitching is caused by Kinich's embarrassment and rage, he was previously just about to talk till he heard (Name) sing praises about him! How could he not accidentally stutter and mess up the dialouge!?

But on the other hand, the hell did that person meant by he was boring? He wasn't even released yet! This caused Kinich to panic mentally if whether or not you'll change your mind about pulling for him

He stared at you from the screen, clenching his fists tighter by the second. Just a small bit more... Just one more step and he'll be released, then he could really be by your side now.

(Name) — Aw man, hold on chat I gotta pause the stream to fix this glitching

(Name) eventually had to exit the game to try and see what the problem was with his device or if it was overheating again

Meanwhile Kinich was still standing there re-adjusting his thoughts about what just happened. His feelings were all a mixed bag at this point, he sighed rubbing his temples slowly

Ajaw eventually came to his side while looking at him weirdly like he had done something wrong

(Ajaw) — Wow.. Just wow

(Kinich) — Shut up...

To rightfully apologized the system eventually sent 10 wishes in (Name)'s game mail which he was confused at first but eh, more wishes for c6 knich!

Once he becomes playable Kinich would definitely spoil (Name) with high numbers and crit's. He would just have to deal with Ajaw's yapping in the meantime..

So don't get distracted over what those 'Chat' people say about him!

A/n: likes and reblogs are appreciated! Have a nice day(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[moonstruckme]

Hi!! I had surgery a few weeks ago and I’m definitely hitting a wall mentally. I’ve been so sad with recovery and I’m so exhausted and cranky (unfortunately). I was wondering if you could write an emt!marauders or poly!marauders w reader going through that?? Thank you! Your writing has been a huge comfort for me during this time 🩷

Hi lovely! I realize it's been a while since you sent this so I hope you're feeling much much better now! Thanks for requesting <3

cw: post-op recovery, shoulder injury

poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 727 words

James enters the bedroom to witness three stages of wakefulness. There’s Remus where he left him, fluffy haired and squinty eyed scrolling through his phone. One of Remus’ hands is toying idly with the ends of Sirius’ hair, who’s still dead asleep next to him, on his stomach with his face pushing into the pillow (James has never been able to figure out how he can breathe like that). Then there’s you, just sitting up with a groan and a sour look on your face. His angel. 

“Here, love.” James sets the coffee he’d brought for Remus on the nightstand, making sure the handle is facing him. Remus’ thanks is croaky with drowsiness, his smile gentle. James says to you, “Morning. How’d you sleep?” 

“Hard,” you mumble. You shrug your one shoulder experimentally, and grimace. “Too hard.” 

Remus makes a sympathetic sound, looking at you over the rim of his mug. “Did you sleep on it wrong?” 

“No.” You sound a tad defensive. “I was on my back all night.” 

Remus hums. “This is what happens when you don’t do your stretches at night, dovey.” 

You scowl. James ruffles Remus’ hair. “Be nice,” he chides. “You could do some stretching now, angel.” 

Sirius makes a disgruntled sleepy sound, rolling onto his side to wrap his arms around your waist. He settles his head contentedly on the plushness of your thigh. “Everyone shut up,” he grumbles. “And stop getting up.” 

“We’re not getting up,” James placates him. “She’s only doing her stretches.” 

“But it hurts,” you whine. 

“That’s why you do your stretches, sweetheart.” Remus gives you a look. 

James can feel you getting irritated. You’ve been recovering from your surgery for weeks now, and you’re growing exhausted not only with all the things you can’t do with your shoulder but also all the things you have to do to build back its strength and mobility. He goes to the dresser as you slump forward into your own lap, hapless. 

“Come on,” he laughs, tossing you your towel. “You can start with the towel one first. That one’s fit.” 

You look up at James. “It is not.” 

“Y’always look good, babe,” Sirius mumbles into your thigh. 

“See? And extra good when you stretch your arms like that.”

“He’s dead to the world.” You roll your eyes, though you’re petting Sirius’ hair fondly. “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” 

Still, you sigh and pick up the towel when Remus nudges it towards you pointedly, rolling your neck in preparation. James feels a bit of warmth come to his face (he was only partly joking about how attractive you are when you stretch). 

It’s a bit difficult for you at first, clearly, the result of growing a bit lax about your stretches over the past few days. James can see Remus’ lips press together like he’s physically restraining himself from commenting on it. A low whine builds in your throat. 

“There you go,” says Sirius in a salacious tone. James is beginning to suspect he’s more awake than he’s letting on. “Tell us how you really feel, sweetheart.” 

“This is so pointless,” you grumble. “It’s too lame to do anything.” 

“Don’t say that,” James chides you. It’s not his intention to make you feel like you can’t vent to them, but James is firmly of the belief that ceasing negative talk will eventually lead to an abatement of negative thoughts. “It’s working, you just need to give it time. You’re tons better than you were a couple of weeks ago, right?” 

“If you mean I can pick up an empty soda can,” you say drily, “then yes.” 

“That is what I mean. Empty soda cans are a big step.” 

“It’s a process,” Remus tells you in a more placating tone. “You can’t expect to be all the way better overnight. Especially not if you’re not doing your stretches.” 

You don’t miss the judgment threaded through that last bit, your expression turning sour again. Sirius appears to sense this without opening his eyes. He hugs you around the middle, smearing a kiss over your thigh. 

“You’ll get there, lovie,” says James. “And hey, if it’ll help, I can sit with you while you do your stretches every day. I wouldn’t mind that at all.” 

Remus snorts, and Sirius mumbles something into your skin that sounds like “I’ll bet you wouldn’t.”

[thegoldencontracts]

How Can You Fluster Them?

Characters: Heartslabyul, Savannaclaw, Octavinelle

Ace Trappola:

- Pretty easily, actually.

- As smug and teasing as he can be, there are quite a few things that get him flustered.

- Bring up how sweet he's acting or how sentimental he seems to watch him sputter furiously in denial; show him direct affection and kindness to watch him blue screen for a second before embarrassedly scoffing about how lame you're being.

- You can fluster him even further by teasing him about how smug he was a second ago. That really gets him.

Deuce Spade:

- While you could tease him about being 'stupid', yes, that is a bit hurtful, and it isn't really the best way.

- Just the opposite. Genuinely complimenting his intelligence, his strengths? That's what catches him off-guard. He doesn't quite know how to acknowledge it when someone truly, genuinely tells him he's not dumb, and him not being an effortless scholar doesn't mean he is.

- There are other ways, of course, like sudden acts of affection, pranks, or even dodging his kisses.

- He gets all red, and a tad defensive. It's the funniest sight.

Riddle Rosehearts:

- Most affection flusters him.

- Seriously. He's never really received it, considering his upbringing, so even things like hugs or kisses on the cheek leave him red. You're not quite certain whether it's more cute or sad.

- He'll get rather huffy if you point it out. It's rather comedic, but you might want to refrain from laughing too much, lest he ends up chastising you.

Trey Clover:

- Pointing out his true brilliance.

- That's the main method. Although he's used to affection, to being told he's a good baker, a nice guy, and whatnot, he's not quite used to having his true potential acknowledged.

- He'll look away with a flush, denying his true intelligence, the true strength of his Unique Magic, or whatever it is you've opted to praise him for.

Cater Diamond:

- Allowing him to be genuine.

- It will take a while, frankly. With most people, Cater dons the personable mask of Cay-Cay the friendly senior, but with time... And patience, he may warm up to you enough to be himself. Be moody, the ultimate hater of sweets, and whatnot.

- He can't help but feel oddly flustered, caught off-guard, really, when you let him complain about the way Riddle was before his overblot, when you make him something salty for a dessert of sorts.

Leona Kingscholar:

- There are quite a few ways.

- If you two are together, he might tease you quite a bit. Reciprocating said teasing is certain to get him huffy and flustered. Teasing in general, really. Dodging his kisses? Headpats? Photoshopping him in cat ears? If you're close enough to him, they'll all work wonderfully.

- And... Genuine understanding flusters him as well. Prioritizing him in small ways, like taking a break from your gaming to talk to him, or allowing him to vent to you.

Ruggie Bucchi:

- Caring for him.

- Ruggie is used to having to act incredibly mature for his age, yes. He's cunning, clever, and responsible, important traits to make up for his disadvantages in life.

- So, when you (jokingly, I would hope) babytalk him, pat him on the head, or ask if he'd like to be the little spoon, it gets him terribly huffy. What's that supposed to mean, huh?

- It's even worse when you genuinely care for him, making him meals, or offering him a massage. It's hard for him to accept help. He's not a kid! He doesn't need the babying! It's worth nothing that he has a very broad interpretation of what counts as "babying". However, he will accept after a while, and be very, very flustered about it.

Jack Howl:

- Teasing him.

- He's always in denial about his softer side, no matter how apparent it becomes that he truly admires or cares for something or someone. He gets terribly flustered at his own sentiment.

- Teasing him about it just makes things worse. Dramatically exclaim how cruel he is because he said he "wasn't concerned for you or anything". Play dumb when he tries to ask for a kiss in a roundabout manner. The result is hilarious.

Azul Ashengrotto:

- There are so many ways to do this.

- Teasing him about his affections, for one. This is the same man who couldn't even admit to caring for his business, who claimed that love made one exploitable. He's already terribly mortified by his own so-called exploitability. Asking if he likes you gets him rather pouty before you're dating.

- Genuine, continued kindness is also rather flustering for him. You- care for him? Wish to see him succeed? You accept his flaws? You don't view him as pathetic for his tears? It's all territory he's terribly unused to.

Jade Leech:

- Standing up for him when he's insulted, for one. Telling the stranger that, no, his mushrooms aren't creepy, they're impressive, they just need to get a hobby. That leaves him shocked for a bit.

- There's also things like being the one to tease him, caring for him, listening to his rambles about mushrooms.

- Those leave him red-faced for a good few seconds. Calling out his flustered state garnets a pointed "Let us move on".

Floyd Leech:

- Initiating affection.

- Really, although he seems lackadaisical most of the time, impossible to fluster, it isn't quite that hard. He isn't used to being kissed, or hugged, or even praised without a certain business-oriented touch.

- So, when you suddenly kiss him, or offer to be the big spoon, or whatnot, he freezes up.

- If you point it out, he gets comedically defensive. Someone needs to tell him how terrible "I-I'm not blushing or whatever, that'd be laaame, so shut up!" Works as a method of denial.

[starbunii]

Sorry if this is a personal request but!! Can I get Venti, Scara, and Gorou with a S/O who has heavy triggers to alcohol/the smell and stuff bc of a parent who was always drunk so they had to be the parent in the house? Not like abusive or anyth but just always drunk and emotionally distressing to see

No worries if you don't wanna take this, ty for reading! 💕

. fear of alcohol 𓂃 ♥︎

𝜗��� ┈ venti, scara, and gorou x reader (seperate) ! ｡

notes: idm taking this at all! i feel very honored that you came to my writing for this kind of comfort. that means very much to me. i hope you're ok and in a safer place now, anon. if not, it's ok. everything will get better; i promise you <3

headcanons ノ fluff/angst (?) ノgn! reader ノcanon universe

second person pov !! please enjoy! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

-- ♡ --

venti

now, we're all well aware of his drinking habits. it's a fun past time for him, and it helps him relax

one night, he tried to drink around you, and was admittedly very surprised when you didn't want to

the two of you were practically attached to the hip, you two did everything together! so...why was this any different?

once you explained everything to him, he immediately understood and put the alcohol away and makes a fun soda/cider kind of drink instead!

over time, he starts drinking a lot less. on the odd occasion that he does get drunk, he just lets you know and stays kind of far away (he'll miss you greatly, but your comfort is safety is far more important to him)

will come to you the next day, hung over and clingy, but most of all; so happy to see you

scaramouche

he only really drinks as a sign of politeness, but nothing too crazy

he hates the taste and gets 0 enjoyment off being drunk. him coming home wasted isn't something you have to worry about

however, if you're at a place like a party or a festival, where there's a large collection of drunk people, he'll immediately whisk you away and take you somewhere else; wherever you want to go

if you two go back home, he'll immediately start to pamper you. he wants you to remember that you don't owe him anything. that you aren't a child stuck as a parent

he knows you weren't exactly abused or anything, but he's still careful with his touches regardless, only wanting you to be comfortable

expect gentle massages and light kisses. he'll praise you on how well you're doing, no matter if you're freaking out, or if you're just calm

gorou

similar to scara, gorou only drinks for polite reasons, or if there's something to celebrate. he never goes too far

however, if he does get drunk, he might get a tad bit clingier. not to the point where he's totally helpless; just more affectionate

if you need him to step away because you're getting upset, he'll do so with no complaints. he knows your boundaries need to be respected

will 100% show up with a bouquet and a box of candies the next day as an apology, even if he didn't exactly do anything wrong

gorou would probably stay the night with a buddy to make sure you don't end up triggered or scared. the last thing he wants is for you to be unsettled because of him or something he did

listens if you need to just vent and talk abt it. he understands that what you went through was traumatic, and that seeing someone you love in that very same state must hurt you to a degree. he'll just hold you and comfort you, providing all you need <3

starbunii 2024 — all rights reserved. do not redistribute or translate to any other platforms

[ko-existing]

You are the only person so far who seems to know what you’re talking and is well studied so I decided to sent this ask for you. It will have a little venting, but nothing too extreme or long also if you don’t mind I’d rather speak in a not non duality way because I wouldn’t know how to formulate my sentences without giving power to the physical world in a sense, and I’m not exactly looking for enlightenment in non dualism it’s just a question about this whole thing that has been going on on tumblr and other communities about manifestation and non dualism.

I’ve been on this journey of manifestation, law of assumption, non duality etc etc for a year now and the main thing that kept popping up in my head was “is this concept true?”

The concept that I’m talking about is: “we are the creators of our reality”

Honestly, this journey has brought me a lot of suffer because I’m a natural overthinker, skeptical, a tad pessimistic and extremely self judging. So I would often feel dumb and stupid for believing I could actually change my WHOLE life and manifest things that would be seem as actually absurd and impossible.

This experience of seeing so many times people saying “we are limitless” or “everything is malleable” “you can get anything you want” has dragged me into this rabbit whole of full peace of mind and hope and then being totally ripped apart by negativity, pessimism and skepticism.

I’m honestly tired and I really, really, really need to get out of it, so you are my hope of weather I should continue my journey to get a better life or finally have a closure on this whole world of manifestation, shifting realities etc

Is it really possible? I’m asking this with my whole heart and soul. It is possible to experience this reality shiftings, changes of physical appearance, revise past and all that?

I really need to put an end on my suffering and move on with my life and I rather know the final answer now instead of wasting my life on things that won’t happen and just end up more frustrated in the future.

Can we change our 3D world (I know you said there’s no separation, but as I said I can’t speak in a non duality way I’m sorry) or we just have to accept we can only control to a certain point?

Is it true that if I’m not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won’t? That no matter how hard I try I could never “attract” a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?

I’m sorry if this ask is heavy or if my words were harsh somehow. I don’t want to put a responsibility on your shoulder, I just really need to find peace and I need a final answer.

Thank you!

Here's the thing Anon: No one can help you but yourself. As harsh as it sounds, IT is what IT is, i'm not sugarcoating anything, it's a bit long and wordy so read carefully.

In tibet we have these sayings:

1. "You can offer a handful of grass to the cow, but you can't force it to graze."

2. "You can present the scriptures, but you can't enlighten the mind."

Even though i tag my stuff with "#nondualism" and a lot of people associate me with it, i don't follow any concept in particular. I only point you into the direction of "THAT". What you do with it, is your choice. You said you've been on a "journey" with lots of concepts like LoA, Manifestation, ND. Ask yourself, what exactly has been keeping you from actually turning within into silence instead of gathering one concept after another? Who decides that something is "impossible" and "absurd" like you said? I know you already told me that you'll talk in concepts but i still have to ask, are the limitations you have set for yourself REALLY fundamentally a thing? Do they exist if you aren't aware of such limitations?

Emptiness

NO concept is true, untrue or real. No words are true, untrue or real. I could tell you "no, Non Dualism or "AWARENESS" is not true. You can't change your life" but that's going to have a negative impact on you, wouldn't it? Why is that so? Those words don't prove anything to you. They are just words.

EVERY word is empty by nature, we give meaning to them. If i told you "བདག དངབ བསམ ངས་ཡང་ཡིན་གསལ" could you do anything with that sentence? No, because that sentence has no meaning to you.. you don't speak the language. Whatever I said, is meaningless to you. But if I translated it in english, you would be able to understand because you speak english and give it meaning (-> what was once meaningless and empty, now has an illusory meaning given by you). Got it?

What I'm trying to say is that it is important to understand that words have no meaning whatsoever BY NATURE and because they are meaningless BY NATURE, we can tell you whatever we want to, it is up to you alone what you're going to do with that. Does that make any sense to you? I hope i got my point across on how we give meanings to every empty word.

We do the same thing with different situations.

A stormy day can be the worst day ever for you but for someone else, it's the best thing ever.

If someone told me my content is trash, i do not care. If someone told 18 year old Koda her content is trash, i would've wasted a thought or two on that statement. If Dechen (my boyfriend, co-admin) read that we're spreading lies he would've written an essay telling that person to shut up & move along 2 years ago, but now he'd ignore it because he couldn't care any less. Now, everything is meaningless for everyone. I can decide if I want to be affected by those words, or not. If i told you "Everything's a lie" , what are you going to do then? Are you going to abandon everything just because I, someone you find "reliable", said so? If that's what you would do, why? What made you attach so much importance to a random "person"?

Is it true?

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

"Is it true that [...]"

Who are you asking? Me? Why? Do you want it to be true or untrue? Since all words are meaningless and empty by nature, is there a difference between the words "true and untrue" or is it the same "Emptiness"? You alone make your decisions. I can point you towards "IT" but 'you' are the one who's going to recognize "IT" or not. I have nothing to do with that descision.

Read whatever you want to. Practise whatever you want to or don't. At the end of the day, you alone give meaning to the meaningless. You can define emptiness but that doesn't change its Nature which is "emptiness", "nothingness" whatever-ness.

Definitions

"I'm an overthinker, skeptical and pessimistic."

What made you come to that conclusion? In order to answer that, i assume you have to think and list all moments in which you were overthinking, skeptical and pessimistic but are you able to answer that question without thinking? If you aren't thinking, WHAT or WHO are you? Are those thoughts you define yourself by, real in any way or are you just aware of different behaviors and define them as "overthinking, skepticism, pessimism" after thinking about it? Could you define yourself for me, without thinking? Try it.��

Enlightenment?

You said you are not "looking for enlightenment" from ND , what exactly are you looking for then? Only a "person" can get enlightened, but there is no actual "person" here. What is, is. All concepts only POINT you to one direction -> "IT". Some, like advaita vedanta, are more direct than many limited & watered down versions of ND people now call "Law of Consciousness or Law of Assumption "with extra steps" on tumblr or twitter. In my humble and illusory opinion, it is nonsense but does it matter?👁️

The non-existent "I"

"Is it true that if I'm not meant to be rich no matter what I do, I won't? That no matter how hard I try I could never "attract" a specific person? Is it true that the only thing I can do in this life is find peace by accepting that certain things are meant to be and never changed? Is accepting that I am not limitless like as all those bloggers, teachers, Neville Goddard claimed I am?" -> define and show me the "i" you keep talking about. Do it without thinking. If you ponder on it long enough on a deep level, you will instantly answer your own Questions and the "i" you are talking about. Define and show me your doubts without thinking. There is no person to believe in anything, no person that is actually doubting, no person that is actually here.

「You can mold clay into a pot but that doesn't change the fact that it is clay and will always be clay」

[osmanthus-wine-addiction]

◈ Pairing: Zhongli x fem!Reader ◈ Summary: You return to Liyue after spending years abroad in Sumeru. Unfortunately, Zhongli has not changed one bit and you find yourself trapped in the friendzone. ◈ Contains: Modern AU, age gap, previously teacher-student, neighbors, teenage crushes, light angst, minor character death, problematic tropes, friendzone

Friend

Zhongli sighed softly, cushioning your bruised ego as he rejects you yet again in the most gentle of ways.

This man had been many things to you over the years, but there was one person he refused to be, your lover. It was as if he had made a silent contract with some higher power to never cross that invisible line.

The first time you aired your feelings to him, you weren’t even sure if it was even love. It was at most a silly crush then, nothing like the unmovable rock that had taken up permanent residence in your heart. When your fates first intertwined, he was just your history teacher. Prim and proper, handsome, although a tad long-winded whenever he opened his mouth, you were instantly infatuated as many of your classmates were. Perhaps if fate hadn't decided to meddle further, this shallow crush of yours would've came and went as nothing more than a temporary fixation.

"Zhongli... I was just kidding. I'm not a teenager anymore." You tried to laugh it off, but your hands trembled under the table. "How many years has it been?"

"Far too many." Zhongli chuckled. "I've missed you much, friend." He says that word with so much sincerity, your heart breaks a little.

You never bothered to explain why you had been single for the past few years and he never asked. Hutao would occasionally narrow her eyes at you when you brought up a certain "friend" in conversation, but even she didn't link this mysterious individual you refused to name to the the man that used to be your history teacher. The three of you had really gone a long way. Hutao went off to take over her grandfather's funeral parlor. You received an acceptance letter from the Sumeru Akademiya and went abroad. Before you know it, half a decade had flown by. Zhongli became the receiver of your ever frequent messages and calls. Somehow you had grown even closer to him while you were thousands of miles away. His replies were often longer than warranted and always thoughtful like he was. You could almost hear his voice when you read them. While most of his students were glad they no longer needed to sit through his lectures, you had undoubtedly come to miss them.

At that time, your colleagues were pairing up left and right, so predictably, you felt left out. You were hopeful then that you'd find your special someone and hit it off too. Contrary to your optimism, the more you dated around in Sumeru, the more exhausted you became. There was an itch in your heart and nobody you met could scratch it. While venting to Hutao about yet another failed date, realization finally hit you. You had been looking for traces of Zhongli in those dates. In between the endless text messages, occasional calls and hushed goodnights, you've never actually felt the sting of loneliness. Of course your dating endeavors were a complete failure.

You never fell out of whatever infatuation you had for him. If anything, your feelings had only grown stronger and more grounded. The dates stopped and your romantic life came to a full halt.

"You're going to end up alone. Just you wait." Hutao giggled.

"I'm alright with that." You calmly replied. "I have friends."

Till this day, you still remember the way her brow went up.

What you didn't disclose was that all the way in Liyue, Zhongli was completely unaware that he was the reason why. That was fine. If anything, the man had always been alone for most of the time you had known him. You could always keep him company as a friend and truthfully, the label over your relationship mattered less than he did. Labels had never really amounted to much in your book with the amount of times people around you have fallen short of them.

You remembered how you used to deliberately drop the 'Mister' in front of his name every time you greeted him. He eventually gave up correcting you and allowed you to address him directly whenever he ran into you outside your home. Zhongli had coincidentally moved into the apartment a few doors down. Your mother was ecstatic when she found out the handsome man she met while grabbing mail that morning was your history teacher, determined to wrangle him in for extra tutoring sessions even though you assured her that your grades were nowhere near failing. You had an image to keep up in front of your crush, even if sacrificing it would give you an excuse to stare at Zhongli's handsome face for a few extra hours every week. Although your mother's tutoring plans never came to fruition, Zhongli's phone number was now sitting in your contacts thanks to her persistence.

All your friends knew about your crush on your history teacher. There was no need to hide it because nobody took it seriously except you. Hutao was especially vocal about it, calling Zhongli dusty and old-fashioned. You liked that about him though. He exuded a sense of calm with the way he spoke and carried himself that you naturally gravitated towards. Even your mother found him trustworthy enough to entrust your safety to him in case your estranged father showed up at the door one day.

You still remembered the calming warmth and scent of the tea he placed in your shaking hands when he sat you down at his table.

"Everything will be alright." He took a seat across from you, expression grave.

You could tell that he didn't know what to say to comfort you, so you forgave him for telling that one lie. The sirens blaring loudly outside the door were muffled as he pressed his palms against your ears. Nothing was alright that day, but at least you were safe. At least you weren't alone.

"Thank you, Zhongli." You spoke up the next morning over breakfast.

"There's no need to thank me. I simply did what any neighbor would've done in that situation."

Your eyes met his. One glance told him that you disagreed, but you didn't say anything to refute what he said.

There were plenty of neighbors present, some of which were standing right there in front of your door watching when it all happened. If it weren't for Zhongli, you would've still been in there, bleeding next to your unconscious mother by the time the cops arrived.

"I am also your teacher, your elder, even if you refuse to address me so." He added softly.

"So every neighbor, every teacher, every elder would've done what you did?" You asked bluntly. In an ideal world maybe, but you knew better.

Zhongli drew in a hesitant breath, falling silent at your question. Perhaps he should not be speaking for anyone but himself, especially when the person the cops dragged off in handcuffs was your own father.

"You may consider me a friend then." He finally said after what felt like an eternity.

You eventually moved into a short term foster home after your mother's funeral. Luckily, you were allowed to continue attending the school you were at due to the end of the year being only two months away. He could've asked you to delete his phone number from your contacts then, but he didn't. How could he offer you friendship and then confiscate it less than two months later? Since he couldn't bear to sever that string of fate that anchored you to him when he had the chance, Zhongli could only watch as you tightened it. Now that you had returned to Liyue, it was clear to him how much things had changed. Zhongli was more or less the same, but your outer appearance had changed quite drastically. Despite the differences, both of you could feel the connection you shared. Unlike when you left, you had returned to him as a close friend.

Everybody you were acquainted with eventually came to know about Zhongli, but some knew a bit more than others, Hutao for example. At first, she was skeptical about how closely you had gotten entangled with him over the years. He was almost a whole decade older than you and was even your teacher at one point in your life.

"He's just a close friend." You reassured her. "It's not what you think it is."

Nobody could give their unsolicited disapproval if the two people involved refused to define the relationship.

You even handed her your phone to go through your text messages, swearing you haven't deleted a single one. Sure enough, your conversations with Zhongli were about the most sterile exchanges imaginable, save for the frequency.

"You text him more than you text me." Was all she could say when she handed you back your phone.

A friend, that's what you labeled him as whenever you mentioned him, no matter if it was to your closest friend or a stranger. Zhongli also abided by this unspoken rule, albeit rather heavy-handedly. Whether it's to remind you or himself that there was a line he couldn't cross, only he would know. Zhongli might care deeply for you, appear at your doorstep at the slightest hint of distress in your voice, take care of you when you're too sick to get out of bed and bring you dinner at work when you have to do overtime, but he couldn't be your lover. It wasn't like you never tried to change his mind. You've hinted it a few times, even borrowed the disguise of alcohol to say it straight to his face. There's only so many times a person can take rejection before they simply stop asking.

"I'm much too old for you."

"Perhaps I remind you of simpler times. Nostalgia may be the culprit. Nevertheless, I'm flattered that you've attached such fond sentiments to me."

"You've had a cup too many, dear."

"You've simply gotten used to my presence. When things finally settle into their places, you will see that it is not as you assumed."

"You will always be precious to me. Please do not joke about this matter."

He always phrased it in the most considerate ways, but the reply was always the same. Why push the same button over and over? You were no longer an impulsive teenager. It did you no good to continue prying an affirmation out of him, especially when all his actions contradicted his words. Even Hutao began rolling her eyes whenever she sees the two of you together, with the way Zhongli acted around you. If it was cold, his coat was predictably draped over your shoulders. If it was too warm, she would catch him gathering your hair into a ponytail and tying it with the dexterity of someone who had done it a thousand times. When you ate out as a group, Zhongli would always be glued to your side like an overprotective husband, pulling out your chair for you and cutting your food. You allowed him to, silently indulging in his antics just as he allowed you to get away with many of your more questionable gestures. However if anyone so much as makes a joke about how couple-like the two of you acted, both you and Zhongli would immediately refute it without any hesitation.

If he called this friendship, then perhaps there's no distinction needed. It wasn't like there was anyone else he was treating the way he treated you. He could keep his excuses and you could continue denying your feelings. Maybe one day, this rock would crack and start blooming, but until then, you were satisfied with this so-called friendship. After all, it wasn't like any sane person could approach you with him there. If you were interested in Zhongli and learned that he had a friend that he looked after like a dragon guarding its precious gem, you'd see yourself out.

Even a blind person could see that Zhongli was in love with you. What mattered that he insisted on calling you a friend?

AN: I was going through Zhongli's voicelines and realized how many times he deliberately calls you "friend"

DAMN YOU HOYO. WHY YOU GOTTA HURT ME LIKE THIS?

[starpros-sunshine]

Realising that nobody actually takes you that seriously is really weird?

[animeyanderelover]

Okay s/o who is a minx with yandere bakugo,gaara,subaru sakamaki?

Tw: Yandere themes, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional mindset, jealousy, clinginess, stalking, paranoia, controlling behavior, abduction, threats

Tags: @shumidehiro

S/o is a minx

Gaara

🐼​He loves you, Gaara really does. However, your behavior tends to give the Kazekage very high anxiety multiple times a day. Whilst it is your pert and bold personality that have been reasons why he loves you as you had no shyness in approaching him and stubbornly persisting to get to know him better, it's those very same traits that also cause his anxiety to spike as often as it does. Because Gaara knows that he isn't the only on you treat that way. You have no shame in acting the same way towards other people with no consideration for others feelings. You flirt with other people, you are very playful and seem to enjoy causing him such troubles by making him jealous on purpose. That doesn't give you the best image as Gaara, despite his dark past, has risen up to be a very beloved Kage in his village so the civilians of Sunagakure tend to dislike you for playing with his emotions as much as you do. His siblings are going as far as to openly advice Gaara to give up on you.

🐼​If it would only be that easy to do. A part of him knows that you are a tad bit toxic for him but he always melts like butter whenever you spend time with him. His heart is racing every single time yet it is a very bittersweet feeling as he knows that he isn't the only one you have treated like this. Perhaps you just enjoy seeing how much control you have over Gaara, purposely fueling the anger of the people around you by treating him as if he were a toy at times. Despite knowing that, he still defends and protects you against their anger which only enables you even further to act the way you do. Perhaps your biggest worry should have been Gaara from the very beginning though as his fear, jealousy and insecurity eventually get the better of him and cause him to lock you away. You couldn't have predicted this development as nothing seems to work on Gaara as he seems adamant to keep you locked away until he has calmed down. Hopefully you'll have learned to hold back by then, otherwise this might happen again.

Katsuki Bakugo

💥​You really are just trying to trigger him, don't you? It's like you are doing all of this on purpose whilst he is watching. Bakugo has been aware of your bold and troublesome behavior even before he had felt anything for you and he has been avoiding you and any of your advances. It's obvious that you don't intend anything serious whenever you approach him or someone else, you probably see it all as a fun game. It is for that reason an incredibly bitter pill for him to swallow when he slowly comes to realise that your charm seems to have won him over. Yet Katsuki knows that if he lets you realise that he has caught feelings for you, you will only use it to your advantage. He refuses to be outplayed by you so he tries to hide everything deep inside, although his frustration with the situation at hand shows itself in a form of agitated aggression as soon as you try to talk to him as he always sneers at you to get out of his face. He should have known that you are more cunning than he may give you credit for though.

💥​He used to ignore you so the sudden and very intense change within his behavior spells suspicious to you and you wonder why. So suddenly he finds himself surrounded by you as you always follow around or make sure to hang around the places where he is. You have a theory and you test it out by flirting with others in front of him and you know that you have won him over when you take notice of the way he looks like he's about to explode before storming away to vent his anger out on something else than the person you were using. Bakugo isn't dumb either as he knows that you have probably figured him out by now too. This could be troublesome because he knows that you would love to torment him for his attraction for you. He knows that what he is about to do will definitely not be very heroic but he knows that if you go on any longer, he will have a meltdown. Seems like he has to teach you some basic manners as soon as he has abducted you. Don't expect to leave the house until you have learned proper manners.

Subaru Sakamaki

⬜You are playing with fire by daring to act in such a way with Subaru as he has no restraint nor has he anything that would motivate or force him to hold back with his emotions. Subaru has no lid that would hold his feelings back and you only make everything even worse for him. He despises you for acting the way you do and he loathes you even more when he realises that despite knowing all about you and your ways, he has still managed to get as obsessed with you as he did. It is pretty much over for you from that point on though as Subaru sees no reason to control himself nor to hold back. He very quickly assaults or even kills anyone he sees you flirting with and whether they even wanted it or not doesn't even matter. He just sees red as soon as you try to allure someone and by acting the way he does, you soon have a very bad image clinging to your back as people think you are cursed as such terrible things only happen to those you decided to spend your time with.

⬜​This was not intended by Subaru but is is quite enjoyable because not only does it ease his raging jealousy but it also serves to damage you as you find yourself being made into an outcast as everyone is afraid that the same thing will happen to them if they spend time with you. Nevertheless though, Subaru still feels paranoid that you will do it again and so you have an abduction coming for you very quickly and you find out that trying to appease him by trying to appeal to him only serves to trigger Subaru further most of the time. The vampire is unable to trust you as he always believes that you are only trying to play with him. The situation between the two of you is quite fragile as his temper causes him to hurt you at times, especially if you behave the same way around him he has seen you behaving around others which only ever ends in your blood getting drained until you feel dizzy and painful bite marks on your skin. Since Subaru believes that he can't trust you, he keeps you completely shut away in his room so that you will never be able to meet any of his brothers.

[thesuperiorrobin]

Random Damian head-canon because why not: ~

✮ first of foremost he’s a cat person.

✮ yes he loves animals, even going as far as going vegetarian because he can’t stand the thought of having an anime be slaughter for a meal, he just likes them a tad bit better. He still loves all his pets equally tho.

✮ he uses Dick as inspiration when he draw because dick so flexible. It helps him practice his anatomy better. But if word got out he’ll 100% deny any of it and probably burn the evidence too.

✮ actually does enjoy chick flick movies. He thinks their stupid but they draw him in with the conflict.

✮ Likes horror/ thriller movies. Is the type to watch them by himself in his room, in the dark with a bowl of popcorn. But some of the chilling music that’s played right before something happens give him goosebumps.

✮Speaking of horror/thriller, I think he’ll be really into the whole ghost/demonic spirit type shit. Y’know like communication with the dead and stuff. Him and Jon definitely explore places that are hunted.

✮also really into watching documentaries about killers or documentaries about unsolved crimes. (He tries to solve them but gets no where 💀)

✮ he’ll listen to anything music related it just depends on the rhythm and lyrics. He’s not really picky but he most definitely listen to genres like pop, alternative, hard/rock. Be he normally just listen to Britney Spears and lady Gaga because Jason has him listening to them 24/7 🙄🤚

✮spends most of ‘his’ money on art supplies. But he doesn’t really care on how much he spends bc it’s not his money but Bruce’s.

✮hates politics/politicians. He is not a political person and doesn’t want anything to do with them. Unless they are advocating something that catches his eye like animal rights. if not then you probably won’t see him in a voting booth ever.

✮ he reads manga. It’s cannon. Specifically Shoujo Mangas 🙄

✮really hates the summer. Prefers Winter and fall.

✮vents to Alfred a lot, to the point where if he sees Damian walking into the kitchen he already has a set of cookies in the oven.

✮ Dick is his favorite person

✮gets really lonely when he’s alone in the Manor so he talks to his pets as if they were real people.

✮is a loner. His only friend is Jon Kent.

✮ if he was raised by Bruce instead of Talia then he would have had an emo phase. Don’t come at me it’s true 100%

This is just for fun, please don’t get mad 😭

[uchi4nlog]

🎸 𖥔 ݁ ˖★ FUCK IT, IT'S FINE .ᐟ | BEOMGYU

gn!reader ، wc: 1.9k ، genre: ex2l, a tad of angst, toxic relationship, cussing ، tw: suggestive but nothing to explicit.

beomgyu always looks so mysterious, like his aura was painted with dark shades of blue and black. the spotlights only enhance all of his mythical presence. no wonder why you fell hard. so hard that you didn’t notice all the bruises it left on your heart.

when everything ended, you only wanted to forget him. endless nights of crying, throwing his stupid baggy shirts in the trash and for the grand finale burning all the paper sheets filled stupid songs he ever wrote to you. 

you were a mess. the most painful and heartbreaking mess.

so why are you here now? why are you standing in the middle of this crowd getting lost in his hypnotic voice and skilful techniques with the electric guitar? maybe you liked to make yourself go crazy.

beomgyu is like a siren: singing you into temptation and making you surrender yourself to him. maybe you could never really get over him. even after screaming the most cruel words, you find yourself lost in his antiques again.

that’s when he notices you in the middle of the crowd - all poisoned up, looking like a lost puppy at him. you looked like the most gorgeous prey.

he decides to show himself, like an inner scream of victory, and does his solo even more powerful than ever. the whole crowd grows crazy but you know that you’re the lucky one to get all of himself for you.

the concert ends and you’re finally able to put yourself together again. why are you here? wasn't it to make him jealous or something? honestly, you don’t know anymore. if anyone looked at you now, they would think you had one too many tonight.

your phone buzzes with a text from an unknown number: “meet me backstage, NOW!”

you know what’s coming next and for you it feels so right. 

there he is -  standing in front of his own dressing room, all sweaty, long hair sticking to his forehead. he mouths “come here”, gesturing with his fingers for you to get closer. there’s a part of your brain screaming at you for being so easy to him, for not making him regret leaving you but instead making you regret leaving him. 

all thoughts shut down when his mouth touches yours and your back is pressed on the now closed door. you may hate yourself in the morning but when he says “ i missed you, y/n” with that fucking whispery rasp voice, you know you’re fucked up.

seeing him tonight was a bad idea, right?

★ taglist: @itz-yerin @sunoooism @itgirlgyu @soobunnii

★ status: taglist and requests currently open! send me an ask or comment to be added.

© gyuletters, 2023 - do not repost, copy, or translate. // hi! so i’m back with a new fic after god knows how long. 😃 i was going through a phase that i honestly wasn’t liking anything i wrote and started to think all of my fics were boring af lol. so i decided to change a bit (both layout and the way i write) to something more closer to what i personally would like to read. so we’re getting a bit more of a tension, slow burn and maybe suggestive things. BUT my romantic fluffy lovey dovey heart is still here because it honestly will never go away. anyways… that was a venting LMAO if you read until this very end, tysm!! ilysm!! ❤️‍🩹

[thegoldencontracts]

The Little Things

Summary: Not every gesture of love has to be grandiose. There are smaller ways he shows you his love.

Characters: Riddle, Azul

Riddle Rosehearts

"You still don't understand, it seems," Riddle said, though not unkindly. "I have some more comprehensible workbooks, if you desire."

You nodded in appreciation.

"Thanks," you said. Riddle's tutoring was the best. Really. As stern as he could be, he was insanely thorough when teaching.

Before you could continue, though, you heard your stomach growl.

"Ah- sorry-" You started. You really shouldn't have skipped lunch. Or breakfast, actually.

Riddle stood up, determination blazing within his eyes.

"I'll make you a meal," he said. Though Riddle still wasn't the best at cooking, he'd gotten better since the start of your relationship, likely because of how much more frequently he'd been making meals for the two of you.

In fact, you felt a tad guilty. But it wasn't as if you forced his hand, or anything. You'd tried to offer to cook instead quite a few times, in fact, but he'd always firmly reject you.

"Sit still, then, go over the lesson once more if needed," Riddle said, already having taken a few steps towards the kitchen. "I'll return shortly."

As he left, you couldn't help the grin that stretched across your face.

Scrutiny made the other meaning of his actions rather clear. Those three small words.

You sighed fondly.

I love you too, Riddle.

Azul Ashengrotto

The VIP room. A place ordinarily used for meetings between Azul and his clients. You, however, were not a client. You were just here to vent to your beloved while he did paperwork.

"I just- wish everyone would stop shoving their work on me," you said. "It's a pain. A massive pain, and it's like no one cares about how much it stresses me out, and that just pisses me off even more, and-"

You pinched the bridge of your nose before letting out a massive sigh.

"Why can't they see how miserable they're making me?"

For the first time since you'd started your rant, Azul looked up from his paperwork.

"Do tell me you've objected to your peers' actions," Azul said with a bluntness about him that very few could see. "They cannot read your minds."

You sighed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," you said. "I just-"

"You'd do well to tell me their names, then," Azul said, flipping through that blackmail folder of his. You had a feeling you knew exactly what he was planning. "Write them all down here." A sheet of paper and pen was promptly handed to you.

"Uh, sure, I guess?" You said

Immediately upon you getting to writing, Azul took the chance to sling an arm around your shoulder, only for him to recoil.

"Y-Your shoulders are awfully tense, dearest," he said, squeezing gently.

"Really?" you said. Come to think of it, you did feel a bit stiff...

You were pulled from your thoughts by the feeling of Azul manahimg to work out a knot in your shoulder, trying to pretend he was just prodding out of curiosity. Those motions were too practiced. That was a massage.

You couldn't help the sigh that escaped your lips.

"Whatever it is you're doing, it's working," you said contentedly. Azul froze for a moment.

"Oh, well," he said. "I was just- prodding around. I'm glad to see my experimentation is- is mutually beneficial."

He kept going. That was good, at least. You smiled.

"Love you too, Azul," you said. He scoffed.

"I- never said that, I fear," he said.

"Not out loud."

"Hmm?"

It was true, wasn't it? He said it with everything he'd done.

Sometimes, after all, actions spoke louder than words. And this was one of them.

[singeart]

Okayy we got a Voyager science officer cosplay to make, here(wa)s the plan:

Using an existing pattern I found on etsy, I made adjustments based on vibes reference pictures of Janeway from Night and seeing what other people have made before (shout out to thresholdbb I was Looking at their past cosplays).

Treksona presentation to illustrate the changes I made~

Half the battle was decoding what the vintage pattern instructions were trying to tell me 🤡 but eventually with the help of the internet and my mom on call I figured out each step!

Oh and I had to learn how to iron and how the whole dang sewing machine worked, oiling it, threading the bobbin and needle, I even took apart the foot pedal at one point because I thought it wasn't working lol.

The mockups below, I made one out of Swedish tracing paper and the next one out of cotton (curtains I thrifted) after confirming that it would probably fit:

Turned out pretty good but I decided to move the front seams over just a bit...

Laying out the final pattern:

Cutting out the final pieces was really exciting it was starting to look like something!!

Detail shots below... I didn't feel like I could get the crispness I wanted for the shoulder points with the machine so I did it by hand :')

The shoulder pads were very exciting to put in as well!! I asked the person at JoAnn what the difference was between the two different shoulder pads I had picked up and they said one was more 80s power suit-- that was definitely the one I wanted for this jacket hehe

The final jacket below with a top I found on ebay (also found boots from there)!!! I ended up putting the sleeves in with a machine and ummm there's some puckering I'm trying not to be annoyed about h a h a. I may go back and fix that eventually I don't know... The invisible zipper I got didn't work either so I need to replace that somehow too hrm.

Anyway, I thrifted pants because I didn't want to tackle a whole other piece; I just added fabric to the bottom because they were a smidge short and then cut the iconic vent.

Here's the jacket on me, taken with a weird camera angle so the shoulders are a bit wonky at the edges haha but look!! I lined everything up so well!!

(comm badge and pips from etsy)

I felt ready to go hop on a ship sign me up for first contact I'm ready 🫡

Awright Lessons I Learned:

sewing projects take much much longer than anticipated (I went to stsf and was sewing licherally the night before and morning of. I know it's the convention experience but I was a tad stressed lol)

hand sewing in particular takes forever but I enjoyed it!

people are right to complain about setting in sleeves what da hell was that

flannel (what I used for the black part because it matched the pants the best) was great to work with

linen (the best teal they had in the store) was not!! doesn't iron well, doesn't sew well I don't want to use it ever again <3

this was my first sewing project Ever and I still was pretty hard on myself e h e..........much to think about...

Final words of wisdom from my mom:

Back to the Scully blouse soon!! After a little break :) Thanks for reading!

[sammylbir]

Rewriting Sonia Nevermind

Heya, last time we talked about, rewriting Akane Owari. I think my friend really liked the concept I made and because you seemed to like it too, it's time to rewrite my least favorite DR2 girl.

That being, Sonia Nevermind.

I am not a huge fan of her. She barely has any depth, barely much focus or even an own character arc. She is just a nice girl, who happens to be a princess and a funny foreigner. Well, I think we can do so much more with her, so here are some ideas, to improve her. Feel free to disagree with me.

Personality:

Okay so personality wise, I would keep her friendly nature. But I would also at the same time make her a tad more creepy and her love with serial killers, the occult and dark topics more pronounced. She would talk about it a lot more and a few times, giggles excited when she talks about such topics. This may make her seem like that she is loving serial killers and is romanticizing them, which causes her classmates to be a bit wary off her. In reality, she doesn't condone those crimes of course and she is simply fascinated and passionate about those dark topics. Why she has that fascination to begin with, will be explained later.

Appearance:

I would change Sonia's outfit slightly. She will wear a dark hoodie, one with some white symbols along a pair of blue jeans. Her nails would be painted pink and her face would look as pretty, as in canon. Her hair is a bit more braided from behind, given her a regal appearance. Now, why am I giving Sonia such a strange look? Well, like in canon, Sonia wants to be seen as a normal student by the others and therefore, she is wearing more casual clothing in order to seem more natural and to fit in with the rest. She is not a tomboy by any means and simply wears a hoodie, because its comfortable and because she is not that much of a fan of showing skin. Also, I think the dark clothing contrasts great with her golden blonde hair, so there's that.

Backstory:

Now, as I mentioned in the Personality Subsection, there's a reason Sonia is obsessed with serial killers and that has something to do, with her past. See, when Sonia was younger, she had a sister. One that was supposed to be the one next in line and become the future queen of Nosovelic. However, on the day that she was going to get crowned, (Sonia was 13 at the time), her sister was assassinated by a known serial killer in Nosovelic. This event traumatized Sonia of course and she began to study serial killers and their patterns, in order to partially learn from their methods, to possibly find the killer of her sister one day and also to cope with the loss of her sister. Gundham and her bonded because of their shared interests and they confide each other, thanks to their shared past too.

However, thanks to researching so many killers, Sonia began to develop some dark urges, like light sadism and a somewhat petty nature. She is aware of that of course, but she is trying her best to contain those negative aspects of course. Her light sadism only comes out, when Kazuichi begins to stalk her and she belittles him subtly out of annoyance and as a way, to vent out her darker aspects. Even though Sonia is still holding back and doesn't want to seriously hurt Kazuichi. I can imagine Sonia eventually opening up to Kazuichi and outright telling him, how his behavior creeps her out and Kazuichi will eventually realize it too and then tries to stop stalking her. I do see potential of them becoming somewhat good friends in the future though.

A few notes about Nosovelic in this rewritten version of mine:

-It's located between Montenegro and Albania

-It's a Parliamentary Monarchy and after Sonia's fall into despair, she stages a coup and turns it into an absolute monarchy.

-The main language is Nosovelician, a mix of German, Dutch and Albanian.

-Military knowledge and education is mandatory, because Nosovelic had been invaded countless times during its tenure.

-It was not part of the Eastern Bloc and remained neutral, throughout the cold war.

-Its closest economic partners are Germany, Bulgaria and Albania.

-The country itself has some LGBT right issues, something Sonia wants to fix.

Additional Notes regarding Sonia:

-She practices martial arts and military training. Sometimes during practice, she comes and teaches the other soldier trainees. Her rank is General.

-Her Japanese has a bit of an east European accent. She speaks European languages, like German, Dutch, French, Swedish, Norwegian, Bulgarian, Romanian and Ukrainian more fluid though.

-Apart from researching about serial killers, she also reads tons of political and economical books.

-The only subject Sonia struggled with in school, was Biology and Math.

And that's it! I hope ya liked my rewrite ideas for Sonia and if ya enjoy it, feel free to leave a like and re-post it. Until next time!

[xaeydnquartz]

Part of me kinda wants to stop DMing my first and current campaign? IDK just need to vent

So, brief expo. like many, got into CR during the pandemic (mainly due to "The Legend of Vox Machina" which lead to me actually bingeing the all 3 campaigns) During which time a friend (who was in my immediate friend group but like the rest of my friend group, i didnt really feel close to) told me that he was really into CR as well. As a fresh new critter, i was stoked. Was able to share my blossoming love of CR with someone (FINALLY!) during which we both mentioned how D&D looked so much fun and that it would be really great to be able to play and ooo what if we got our friends together and played.

After which we discussed, if we did, who would be DM? Seeing as how none of our friends really played D&D our talk lead to either my friend or me and after asking the question "Which do you think you would prefer more?" It was clear i would try my hand at DMing (i like lore in games, and i like storytelling, and im a tad bit of a control freak at times, lol)

Anyway, we eventually got in touch with our close knit of friends, and though i intended to be a standard 6 we suddenly had an 8 party party (and that was with me having to tell even less close friends there wasnt room).

Feeling it would still be manageable (as there was precedent that i could pull inspo from, CR) i began planning a rough idea of a campaign and working with my friends to create their characters and running a session 0 so we were all on the same page. You know standard stuff.

-Fast Forward to current date and time-

It has its stressful moments, but i still am able to enjoy the time with my friends for the most part (though theres a lot of times were ive never felt lonelier) Which brings me to the whole point of the post, my need to vent to the void about this loneliness. Nobody really gets in touch or interacts with me at all. Not to talk about the campaign or even collab on their characters. The most i get are occasional critiques about how i could have done something better couple sessions prior and request to add another person to the 8 person party. When we have sessions, people show up late quite often, leave early quite often, have to cancel as they have other things they are doing (even though we planned and scheduled weeks prior) and even when people are there they somtimes feel like they arent always present. i already feel extremely distant from all of them as they all live closer to each other while i live on the totally opposite side of the state and theyve known each other way longer than i have, but the minimal interactions they have with me, the DM/GM of all people, just continues to add to all of it I know we all are busy with our lives, and that compared to those things D&D is really not that big of a deal or important. And i get that, it is just a game afterall, but it still manages to hit pretty hard

I've communicated my feelings through our time of this campaign, if im being honest, maybe not this indepth. I mean, its partially because i barely see or talk to them (again life gets in the way) but also because i feel extremely guilty for putting this kind of tension to something we are all supposed to be enjoying and relaxing to. Its especially painful as most recently 2 players, who said they would get in touch with me about changes possibly being being made to their characters, never got in touch in anyway shape or form, and its been about a month now? And session is in a week...i didnt even get much as a reply back. Idk, its been almost about a year now and i felt i just needed to get this out somewhere other than debating myself.

Thanks for listening tumblr.