#this is a somewhat heavy chapter guys please be aware

[whiskeybeforesunset]

Ghosts Part 2 | Joel Miller

Pairing: Joel Miller x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Synopsis: Reader is with Joel and Ellie as they continue their stay in Jackson. As always, slow burn. Bittersweet talks and heated arguments. Maybe a bit of a different kind of heat as a treat. 

Warnings: Arguing, Joel enters a room before knocking as sees the Reader somewhat undressed (think swimsuit), with that Reader’s body is mentioned but no specific details are given, out of character Joel, shamefully little about Ellie in this chapter.

Author’s note **IMPORTANT PLEASE READ**: For those who have enjoyed the story so far, I’m wondering if you have a preference on how I handle the events of Episode 8. I understand the importance of that darker storyline, and that some readers may prefer it remain in this adaptation. However, I don’t believe Ellie’s SA is necessary in what is meant to be a love story. There are also several logistical issues as to how Ellie may have been captured if there was still an adult able to hunt for/protect her. Right now, my favorite alternative is either Joel or the Reader having a bad case of the flu (fever so high they could die), so there’s still a potential danger without having to include that particular storyline. Plus, everyone loves a good sick fic. Let me know if you guys might enjoy that, if you have any additional thoughts I would love to hear them. 

Previous Chapter, Next Chapter

___

The heaviness between you and Joel dissipates as the lights sputter back on and voices around you begin to discuss the movie. Tommy suggests you and Joel come over to theirs for a late night drink, but Joel swiftly declines and begins to make his way towards the nearest exit. You give Tommy a sympathetic shrug before following Joel outside. 

You step out into the cold night air just in time to see Ellie swiftly making her way back to the house, at least you hope that’s where she’s going. She just needs some alone time, you tell yourself. It’s not like she has much of an opportunity for it traveling across the country. He seems to consider following her, but slows his pace upon noticing the familiar tree in his path.

“Y’know,” you say, slightly out of breath as you jog up to be beside him. “I was thinking about taking the scenic route back. He peers at you through the corner of his eye. Looking back up to where Ellie was last visible he exhales slowly, creating a puff of steam as he does so.

“You’re welcome to join me, if you’d like.” He accepts your offer with a short nod, and follows as you turn and begin the alternative path to your temporary home. 

In the absence of the bustling movie-goers, a silence once again falls over you. Looking at Joel, you notice his eyebrows are set in a way that makes him look more irritated than usual. Who knew that was even possible? Still, there was something about him that was just so… striking. Not in that way, because Joel is well, Joel… right? But still, you can’t deny the way the sparing lamp light accents his more rugged features. It certainly causes one’s imagination to-

Joel clears his throat and you suddenly become very aware of the fact that you are staring, and presumably have been doing so for a long time. You quickly swivel your head away from him, hoping the cold would provide a good enough cover for the pink on your cheeks.

“So,” you start, desperate to clear the thoughts at the top of your mind, “Maria seems like a good fit for Tommy.” He huffs out a laugh. The sound of your boots against gravel count out the seconds in which you wait for a longer response from him. 

“Well, I think it’s sweet.” A small smile comes to your face at the idea of your friend being able to live a fulfilling life in Jackson.

“Sweet, huh?” Joel asks, not so much denying the label as he is surprised that you’re saying it.

“Yeah I mean, it’s nice to know there’s a chance of ending up with something like that. Even in this world.” You elaborate.

“I didn’t think you the type,” he looks at you and says with a slightly amused tone. 

“Yeah, well,” you return his gaze. “With the right person of course.” You both stay like that for a moment, your eyes glance at his lips as he opens and closes them, debating whether or not to say something. 

“What about you?” You hesitantly ask, immediately regretting it as Joel turns his head to face forward again. Although you briefly wonder if you had really said anything at all due to his lack of response. You’re eyes still on him, you watch his face shift through emotions. 

“I, uh,” he pauses looking down at the gravel path. “I reckon I’m passed that sort of thing now, not really an option anymore.” He turns his heading, as if to avoid your reaction. 

“Oh,” is the final word said as you two conclude your walk to the house silently.

Upon entering you remember your plan to talk to Ellie, but decide against it when you see Joel heading for the room she’s staying in. It’s probably for the best, he’s always better at talking her down anyways. You sigh, and decide you’ll finish off this very confusing day with a hot shower. Might as well while you can, right?

…

Turning the shower head off, you notice yelling you hadn’t previously made out through the water splashing on tile. 

You make your way out of the bathroom and into the adjoining bedroom, trying to catch snippets of the argument as you dry off and begin to get dressed. A door slams and loud footsteps make their way up the stairs. 

You make a mental note to check in on the two of them -separately- sometime tomorrow. However, this plan is scratched as Joel bursts through the door. 

“Oh,” Joel’s rage-filled face quickly fills with embarrassment and something you can’t quite make out as his eyes scan over your body. “Sorry, I, um-” he stutters out, turning so that he's perpendicular to the doorway. 

“It’s fine, Joel.” You offer him a reassuring smile as a blush comes over your face. After all, he didn’t see anything he wouldn’t have seen at a public pool back in the day. Even if the context is a bit more… intimate. 

“Tell me, what’s so important that you had to immediately come and speak to me.” You say in a joking tone, grabbing something to finish covering yourself up. Joel turns to you, eyes slightly unfocused. His brain yet to recover from the unexpected scene discovered upon his entrance. 

“That one sounded a bit more heated than normal.” You add, hoping to jog his memory.

“What? Oh, yes. Yes. We uh,” his gaze hardens as he regains his composure, also taking a moment to close the door. “We need to talk.”

“Okay.” You respond, taking a seat on the edge of the bed and adjusting to his more serious tone. 

“Look, I think it might be best if going forward you take Ellie alone.” Your eyes quickly look up at him. He remains standing near the entrance of the room, arms crossed and face turned slightly to avoid your gaze. 

“What?” You say, blinking rapidly as your mouth finally catches up to your brain. It feels like it’s processing a million thoughts per second.

“This last month, all I’ve learned is how weak I’ve become.” Joel says, bringing a hand to his creased brow.

“What are you talking about?” You challenge, unable to understand how he came to this conclusion. 

“Tess.” At the mention of her name, the room goes quiet. “If it wasn’t for me she…” he sighed and began pacing around the small room. 

“What happened in Kansas City, I’m too slow and deaf. Christ, if you weren’t there.” Joel takes a deep breath before continuing. “She’s only 14, and all I’ve done so far is put her in further danger. And you…” You shake your head saying his name to begin to dispel what he is saying but he cuts you off.

“I’m weak.” He says quietly.

“You are not weak.” You respond at a similar volume.

“Lately there are these moments… like earlier today,” he states, finally sparing you a glance. “That’s not the first time it’s happened, it’s just the first time you’ve seen it.” 

The room goes quiet as you process this new information. Joel comes to sit next to you at the foot of the bed.

“I have these dreams,” he says shakily. “I don’t know what happens in them, I can’t remember. I just know that when I wake up, I’ve lost something.”

Cool water drips from your hair and onto your neck, dampening your shirt. You sit in shock, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m failing in my sleep. It’s all I do, it’s all I’ve ever done is fail her.”

“You’re not-” you start, but as you turn to look at him you are met with a teary eyed glare, begging you not to continue. You close your eyes and rub two fingers against your temple, questioning the events that have brought you to this point, sighing as you lay back on the bed.

“She likes you more.” You say casually as you stare at the ceiling, changing the topic slightly but still remaining on subject.

“No she doesn’t.” Joel says in a dejected voice. You heard a rustling of fabric as your averted gaze allows for Joel to wipe his tears without feeling judged.

“Yes she does.” You state matter-of-factly.

“Trust me, after the… talk we just had, no she doesn’t.” He says sharply. You stare at the motionless ceiling fan debating whether or not to ask.

“What’d you say?” You question, curiosity getting the better of you.

“Same thing I told you.” He says in an exhausted tone. 

“Well, I can see why she might hate you then.” You say half joking. He turns his head to glare at you but doesn’t respond. “What’d she say?”

“She… she said she wasn’t Sarah.” His response causes you to sit up.

“She knows about Sarah?” You ask, he nods in response. You sit for a minute trying to form a response, before you can, Joel speaks again.

“She won’t want me there. You’ll be fine, better, without me.” He says as he begins to stand up.

“Well what if I want you there?” You say, standing to your feet. The exclamation surprises you as much as it does him. He turns back to look at you. You feel your face begin to tighten as the reality of the situation begins to settle in. You aren’t a fool, you know what happens if you leave alone with Ellie tomorrow. By the time you return to Jackson, Joel will be long gone. You’ll have no way of getting in contact or finding him again. If he goes now, you know it’s goodbye. 

“What if I need you?” You say, embarrassed by the wavering in your voice. The light from the bedside lamp reflects his dark eyes. His hand reaches forward momentarily, before returning to his side, balling up into a fist. 

“Tommy’ll meet you at the stables tomorrow morning.” He says, not acknowledging your words as he looks at the wooden floor boards below. “They’ll be a horse ready for you.” Joel quickly exists before you can reply. You feel a rise in your gut as the slammed door echoes throughout the room.

“God dammit!” You yell, throwing your bag across the room. 

Your anger fades observing your scattered belongings. Deep torrid breaths become shorter and more broken as you feel tears start to form in your eyes. Your throat tightens and you suppress a hiccup from escaping. 

You bite your lip and shake your head, wiping the tears away. Crawling into bed, you tell yourself you don’t have the liberty to be upset over disagreements with your now ex… companion. You have a job to do, keep the kid safe, get her where she needs to go. That’s what’s important, you reassure yourself before turning off the light. 

Sleep does not come easy though, as the events of the day replay in your head. You shift onto your back and stare at the shadows running across the ceiling, unable to keep the image of Joel’s heart broken eyes out of your mind. 

[scriveyner]

shining like the stars p98

Lance’s room had acquired the most stuff over the course of their adventures; which included an additional display console that was not, thankfully, holographic. Not that Keith really had a problem with the holographic displays in the Castleship, but it sometimes made things simpler to be looking at them on an actual screen. He still hadn’t gotten dressed though, and made movements like he was going to retreat to his room to fetch some clean clothes when Lance rolled his eyes dramatically at Keith and pulled open the wall panel that hid their clothing. “You took over my room, remember?” Lance said, pulling out some of Keith’s stashed clothing. “At least I’ve made sure everything in here is clean.”

@ ao3 or continue after the jump

“The Castleship automatically cleans all the clothing,” Keith said, amused, as Lance shoved the balled-up clothing into Keith’s chest. Lance stuck out his tongue at Keith and then set to inspecting Pidge’s thumb drive, checking to make sure it was compatible with Lance’s console. Keith pulled his shirt on over his head and felt so much relief it was staggering. Lance was being normal, and that things seemed more normal than they had been in a week and a half.

He sat down on the floor in front of the console as Lance finally got the drive connected and pulled a keyboard out of somewhere. Keith stared at it, and Lance looked down at the keyboard and then over to Keith before shrugging. “Pidge,” he said, as if that were the answer to every single bit of technology-driven strangeness on the ship and not a huge can of worms in and of itself. Keith shook his head, as Lance opened the file drive and pulled up the data files.

Immediately, the screen filed with text, all violet and magenta-hued. Lance blinked, and made a noise of disappointment. “I can’t read Galra writing,” he said. Keith’s heart had frozen in his throat, the happiness of normalcy already long gone. He hadn’t sat down to talk with Pidge yet - he hadn’t had a chance, so much happened so fast, everyone else knew but he’d forgotten they were already gone when his secret was dragged out of him. “Boring,” Lance announced, and started scrolling faster than Keith could even begin to read the page.

Several images flashed past quickly, embedded into the data, before the file seemed to hitch and then shot all the way down the page, automatically pulling up a recording that made Keith’s blood run cold. It was a monitored recording, the sort taken by a camera set up in a lab, and as such the quality of the image was slightly lower due to the cheapness of the technology. Lance was frowning at the screen, leaning forward to try to make out the display, but Keith didn’t need to, the terror clinched tight in his gut and the memories he’d long fought to repress threatening to overwhelm him.

“Turn it off,” Keith said suddenly, his arms shaking as they wrapped around himself, unable to tear his eyes from the screen. Lance looked over to him, as if now suddenly aware of Keith’s altered demeanor, his expression baffled at the sudden change in the mood of the room.

Abruptly, the recording buzzed to life with activity as a high-pitched yell filtered through the speakers. It was static-filled and much younger than even Keith remembered but still recognizable. Keith could still remember the shape of the words. “Let me go, let me go, no-”

Lance whirled on the console, jaw gone slack as some Druids entered the frame. “Turn it off,” Keith’s voice hitched and overlaid his own young voice as a tiny, struggling form was revealed between two guards. “Lance, please turn it off, turn it off-”

“Unsuitable,” one of the guards said in a thick voice, full of scorn; but a Druid held up what looked like a syringe. Lance’s entire expression had frozen over but Keith wasn’t looking at him any more, his arms over his head and clamped tight over his ears, trying to drown out something he never thought he would hear again.

With his eyes closed tight he didn’t see Lance stagger to his feet and lunge, yanking the drive out of the console without ejecting it, he didn’t hear the high-pitched whine of disrupted playback or even hear Lance’s boot slam on the delicate electronics. He jerked physically when he felt Lance’s arms around him and nearly headbutted him but Lance didn’t let him go, pulled him tight and wrapped his own arms around Keith’s head himself, holding him close. “It’s all right, buddy,” Lance’s voice was quiet in a way he’d never heard before, but soothing still as Keith pressed his face against Lance’s shoulder and shook, choking, against him. “You’re safe now. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”

#

Keith lay curled up on his side in Lance’s bed, the sheet wrapped securely around him. Lance sat on the edge of the mattress and watched Keith quietly; he hadn’t moved in a while and his breathing had finally evened out. Lance had never actually seen Keith cry before, to look so helpless and vulnerable and he was shaken to his very core.

A core that was now a tightly-packed ball of incandescent rage. Keith was strong, and he was good, and he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve any of this, and he’d come from such a terrible place and was able to keep it all packed away and even shouldered so much more without complaint. Lance was almost shaking. He wanted to find every single creature in that video and make certain that they couldn’t harm another sentient being in this universe, or any other one, ever again. Why had Pidge given that to Keith? And expected him to watch it by himself, holy shit…

Wait, Pidge.

Lance looked down at Keith again, and then tentatively brushed his hand through Keith’s hair, pushing it back slightly. He looked absolutely human like this, not a hint of anything alien about him … unless you counted his taste in hairstyle. Lance smiled at that thought, even if it was watery, and then leaned down and kissed Keith’s temple. Then he picked up the smashed drive from the floor and went to find Shiro.

#

Lance’s immediate impulse to smash the drive had actually only damaged its outer casing, once stripped of the damaged parts Shiro was still able to plug the drive into the console he’d set up in his own room. He watched the entire thing. Lance couldn’t stomach the thought of seeing any of it and stood outside the door to Shiro’s room, his back to the door and arms crossed, feeling sicker than he’d ever been. It was against every single instinct he had to stand there, but he waited for Shiro because he didn’t feel he could trust himself.

The sound of playback, muted enough that he could only distinguish noise from silence and not much else, ceased. It was a very long stretch of silence that followed, long enough that Lance was considering opening the door before there was a sudden loud and violent crash. Not ten seconds later the doors to Shiro’s room opened and Lance’s blood went to ice. Shiro looked absolutely fit to kill. “Where is he?” he asked, and Lance had a split-second of worry. Shiro sensed the way he reacted to Shiro’s question and he sighed, but that didn’t entirely take the edge off. “Is he okay, Lance? Is he safe?”

“I can’t answer the first one,” Lance said. “But he’s safe, at least.”

Shiro surprised him then by enveloping Lance in a tight hug. Lance didn’t realize how badly he’d needed it until Shiro’s arms were around him, and he pressed his forehead into Shiro’s shoulder and took deep, steadying breaths. “What do we do?” he asked quietly.

“That’s up to Keith,” Shiro said, and Lance raised his head.

“Like hell it is,” he said. “I’m going to turn those fuckers into ionized carbon and launch anything left over into a fucking star.”

“You’re assuming I would leave anything behind,” Shiro murmured, but his arms remained tight around Lance. “But it’s up to Keith. Not us. Remember that.”

“If you guys wanted to swing by Earth and turn those alphas inside-out I wouldn’t peep a word of protest,” Lance grumbled, and Shiro rubbed his back.

“You said Pidge gave you the files?”

“Yeah. What the fuck.” Lance lifted his head again. “Why would she do that?”

“We’ll talk to her,” Shiro said, and Lance nodded.

#

Pidge was in the Green Lion’s hangar bay, sitting at the mass of consoles and computers she had wired together that Lance had affectionately nicknamed the bat-computer. Matt was sitting on the ground by her chair, the outer casing of a computer sitting empty behind him and its innards strewn about. “Hey guys,” he said cheerfully when he saw Shiro and Lance enter the bay. “Uh,” he added, when he sensed the mood. “Everything okay?”

“Pidge, what the fuck,” Lance wasn’t able to contain himself.

She half-turned and looked at him, baffled. Then her gazed sharpened. “I told you to give that to Keith,” she said, and Lance’s entire frame went rigid with the implication. Shiro put his hand on Lance’s shoulder firmly, and then looked to Pidge with a severe expression.

“Did you know what was in those videos?” he asked, his voice forced very level.

Pidge’s expression had shifted from Lance’s strange reaction back to Shiro and she realized suddenly that something was very wrong. “No,” she said. “I didn’t even realize there was embedded video. I just grabbed an entire sector packet about a Galra breeding experiment, there were pictures that looked like…” she glanced sidelong at Matt for a moment before she continued, “that looked like Keith was in them, so I packaged the entire file cluster for him. I haven’t had time to actually go through any of the raw data yet, things keep coming up.” There was a hard edge to her voice, with the next statement. “He is Galra though, isn’t it?”

“He’s Keith,” Lance spat, and Shiro didn’t remove his hand from Lance’s shoulder but he also didn’t stop him from speaking. “He’s our friend, Pidge!”

“I know,” Pidge said and finally spun her chair all the way around. “I know he is.” She folded her arms and glared at them. “What was in the videos?” Notably, she did not move to pull them up herself. Matt stood up from where he was seated, his own face concerned.

Shiro’s jaw moved around but he did not speak, and Lance said, finally, “they tortured him, Pidge. He was a kid, and they…” Shiro’s hand again, tightened, and Lance fell silent because Pidge’s face had fallen even further. She pushed her glasses up off her eyes and into her hair, before she pressed the palms of her hands against her eyes for a long moment.

“Shit,” Pidge said softly. Then, after a moment she spun in her seat and changed the console she was working on. “My first instinct is to destroy the files,” she said, anger tinged in her voice, “but that’s a stupid idea because there might be information in them that we need. But I can at least lock their archiving so no one accesses them accidentally.” She slammed her had down on the keyboard in front of her suddenly, and leaned forward. “God dammit.”

“Pidge,” Matt said, and slung his arm over his sister’s shoulders.

“Can you tell Keith I’m sorry?” Pidge asked. “I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me, and I don’t blame him. I am sorry,”  she added, looking to Lance. “I really didn’t know, I didn’t … okay, no,” she self-corrected. “I was mad that he was concealing this from us and maybe wanted to give him a little ‘gotcha’ but I really didn’t know what was in most of the data. I didn’t think he’d go deeper than the pictures.”

“It would mean more coming from you directly,” Shiro said. “But we’ll tell him.”

“Thanks,” she said, quietly.

When Lance and Shiro left, Pidge pulled up the file that she had just locked. Matt kept his arm over her shoulder, and when she leaned into him he let her cry for a little while, rubbing her back. “You didn’t know,” he said softly, and Pidge lifted her head, smearing her wet eyes on his clothing.

“It’s no excuse,” she muttered, and this time scrubbed her hand over her eyes and wiped her nose with her sleeve.

leaned over and hugged Matt tight. Her brother wrapped his arms around her and let her cry for a little while, rubbing her back. “You didn’t mean to,” he said softly, and Pidge nodded, smearing her wet eyes across his clothing. She let out a quiet sob, and then this time scrubbed her hand over her eyes and put them back on her nose, returning her attention to the console.

“I’m going to see what information I can pulls from these files,” she said, her voice still uneven but forceful. “If I slingshot the data to your terminal, do you think you can map it to a star chart, or at least glean the location data?”

Matt said, “you don’t have to do that right now, Pidge.”

“Yeah,” Pidge said. “I do.”

“Okay,” Matt said, pausing for a moment. “Okay. Yeah, I can see what I can do with the info you pull.”

With that, the siblings got to work.

#

“I’m going to go talk to Allura,” Shiro had said, standing outside of Lance’s room. His arm had remained over Lance’s shoulder the entire way back to the pilot’s quarters, and it was a small comfort. Lance suspected it was as much for Shiro’s benefit as it was his. Lance had nodded quietly, and accepted the kiss from Shiro without complaint. They both should be there if Keith woke, he felt, but … there were other things afoot, even now.

Keith hadn’t stirred, his back presented to the room and still curled into a tight ball. Lance sat at the edge of the mattress for a while, far too keyed up to consider sleeping but at a loss for what to do next. So he sat silent and waited for Shiro to return.

His nature had always been to react instead of act - let something happen, and he’d deal with it or its fallout in due time. That was changing, Lance realized, and it was something that had started with the introduction of the Blue Lion into his life. Lance stared at his hands and thought again of how he would Handle This if Keith deigned to let him, and his mouth quirked a little with savagery of it. He was enjoying a rather visceral plan when he felt the mattress shift and Keith rolled over, pulling him from his thoughts like an anchor. “Lance?”

“I’m here,” Lance said immediately, turning slightly. Keith shifted again and sat up, staring listlessly ahead. Then he rubbed both of his hands fully over his face and let out a low noise which was almost a growl, but when his face emerged from behind his hands he looked so much more like Keith again.

“Who have you told?” Keith asked without looking at Lance.

“Shiro,” Lance said. “Pidge… kind of. She doesn’t know exactly, but … she is sorry. Said she hadn’t watched the videos, only saw some of the data files and some pictures and was hurt you hadn’t told her yet.” He trailed off and immediately felt bad for making the excuse for Pidge, but Keith tilted his head forward and sighed raggedly.

“I’m sorry, Lance,” Keith said. “You shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”

“You’re…” Lance’s mouth actually fell open, because he couldn’t quite process that. “Excuse me, you are sorry? Why the fuck are you sorry? Fucking hell, Keith…”

Keith said again, his voice almost too calm, “you shouldn’t have had to see that.” He started to move, like he was going to get up, but Lance threw an arm out and blocked the way off the bed.

“Keith,” Lance said, his voice hard. “That was not your fault. I’m going to find whoever the fuck was on that video and kill them, do you understand? That isn’t an exaggeration, I can put a bolt of plasma between their eyes at a thousand meters, and I will-”

“Lance,” Keith said, and he had a strained smile on his face. “You don’t have to do that.”

“The fuck I don’t,” Lance said. “I will.”

“No, I mean you really don’t have to,” Keith rubbed his knee with one hand and stared at the top sheet, instead of looking at Lance. “They’re all dead.” He dragged his gaze up to Lance’s and for a brief moment Lance was scared of what he saw there, reminded terribly of the bloodthirsty expression he had seen on Keith’s face in the arena as he headed for Rian with murder on his mind. “Didn’t you wonder why I was on Earth, and had been?” Keith didn’t wait for Lance to ask the inevitable question. “I escaped. I made sure I wasn’t followed.” Keith shrugged his shoulders without moving his arms. “The end.”

Lance stared at him, still stunned into silence. Keith looked away. “I never wanted any of you to find out how much of a monster I am,” he said, his voice still quiet. “I’m sorry.”

“Keith,” Lance said. “If you’re a monster for that, then so am I. Same with Shiro.” Keith turned and looked at him, and Lance was deadly serious, more serious than he had ever felt. “I absolutely wasn’t kidding about blowing their heads off, if Shiro hadn’t beaten me to it. You are our mate.” He shifted more on the mattress and reached for Keith’s hand. Keith didn’t jerk away, and let Lance hold his hand with both of his. “You’re the Red Paladin, man. You are badass. You’re a good guy, no matter what you think your past says otherwise. We love you and we’re both here for you.”

Keith raised his eyes to Lance, but before he could open his mouth the doors to Lance’s room opened to show Shiro. The hard expression on his face softened when he saw Keith sitting up, and he crossed the room quickly, putting his knee on the bed beside Lance and nearly smothering Keith with his arms. Lance went to let go of Keith’s hand, but Keith didn’t let go of his, and put his other arm around Shiro’s neck, face buried in Shiro’s chest. “We’re going to find-” Shiro started, but Lance shook his head and Shiro caught the movement out of the corner of his eye.

“No point,” Lance said. “They’re already dead.”

“Well,” Shiro said, “Fuck that, who do I get to kill?”

“See?” Lance said, squeezing Keith’s hand. Face buried against Shiro’s chest, Keith actually laughed.

#

Keith looked like himself in the morning. He beat Lance out of bed, but not Shiro, and when Lance stopped by the training deck he saw the pair of them running laps. “It is way too early for that shit,” Lance said, and bypassed their insane work-out routine for breakfast.

Hunk was super cheerful, and Lance gave him a suspicious glare, although Illianya was nowhere to be seen. “Why is Hunk so happy?” Lance asked Pidge, who jumped at being addressed directly and gave Lance a guilty look. “Did he get laid? Do I have to drag him in front of everybody?”

“Can’t you let Hunk do his own thing in private?” Pidge asked, and Lance shrugged.

“He dragged the shit out of me when I first got laid.”

“Well, maybe that wouldn’t happen if you remembered to, I don’t know, lock your door once in a while,” Pidge muttered.

“Hey, Miss ‘I’m-unlocking-this-door-whether-you-want-me-to-or-not,” Lance said, indignant, and Pidge put up one finger.

“Once. Once, I did that, and boy howdy I have learned my lesson, okay?”

“Hey, Pidge,” Keith called as he entered the dining area. “Can we talk for a second?”

Lance had never actually seen Pidge turn that particular shade of pale before, but she nodded her head and made to stand up. However, before she could rise out of her chair Keith slid into the chair beside hers, across the table from Lance. He smiled at Lance though, and … well, he still wasn’t entirely used to Keith actually smiling like that but Lance felt relieved that Keith seemed to fell like Keith again.

“Keith,” Pidge said, standing. “I am really sorry-”

Keith interrupted Pidge before she could really get going. “It’s okay,” he said, glancing over a moment when the chair on the other side of him was pulled out, but that was just Shiro sitting down. Lance put his chin in his hand and grinned at Shiro, who gave him a Look in return to dial it down for a minute, earning a pout.

“it’s not okay,” Pidge said. “I did it to hurt you, even if I didn’t realize the extent of what was there, and it’s not-” her voice broke for a second, but she caught herself. “It’s not okay,” she said again, reining her voice in.

Keith had an expression on his face like he didn’t know what to do, and looked over to Lance helplessly. Lance gestured his arms at Keith wordlessly, a universal sign for ‘hug her you idiot’ but Keith clearly didn’t get the message. Fortunately for them both Pidge straight-up decided to hug Keith instead. “I know you didn’t mean to actually hurt me,” Keith said, patting her back awkwardly because despite everything he still wasn’t quite tuned to body language.

This was the moment that Hunk bustled into the room and paused at Pidge hugging Keith. He was followed by Allura and Illianya, who had clearly been having a morning meeting of some kind. “Uh,” Hunk said at the display. “So what did I miss?”

Allura glance at Keith, who nodded as Pidge got up from her awkward hug and shuffled back to her seat. All the Alteans had filed in together, and Rian grabbed the seat beside Matt while Coran chose to remain standing as he often did. Keith stood up from his chair after a moment, and that drew attention to him again as well.

“So, I have something I need to tell everyone,” Keith said, finally. “I’ve been keeping a lot of secrets and you all know that by now, but…” he looked across the table and met Lance’s eye and Lance nodded his head. They’d talked about this last night, and it was Keith’s idea to tell tell everyone. His pause lingered though, and then Shiro leaned forward and took his hand, squeezing it. Keith glanced at Shiro and smiled. “But I think it’s time everyone knew the whole story.”

#

“I think it went well,” Lance said, seated on the bench at the end of the training deck. Keith was busy doing hanging crunches, the show-off, his legs hooked over a bar as he hung upside down. Keith didn’t actually answer him, and Lance really didn’t expect him to huffing and puffing, but he knew that Keith appreciated the company. Shiro was sparring with Hunk on the mat, and Illianya was supervising them both, wearing a bodysuit not unlike the ones they wore under their Paladin armor. Occasionally, it appeared that she stepped in and showed both Hunk and Shiro a move.

Rian crossed the room toward them, and Lance groaned. “Our favorite Altean is heading this way, buddy.”

Altean ears were sensitive, and Rian was already scowling by the time he got close. He said something that Lance didn’t quite understand, and Keith stopped doing crunches and snorted. “What the heck was that?” Lance said, but Rian didn’t respond to him and Keith dropped from the bar and straightened, sweat dripping from his hair. “Why did you laugh?” he asked Keith suspiciously.

Keith regarded Rian silently, fetching his towel of the bench. Rian folded his arms and frowned and seemed to be bracing himself to say something. Finally, he sighed. “I don’t like you,” he said finally.

“Feeling’s mutual,” Keith said, and this time Lance snorted.

“I sense a ‘but’,” Lance said, and Rian shot him a dirty look.

“My mother escaped from one of the Galra research ships,” Rian said finally. “Before I was born. I think it was probably the same one.” He looked away. “Thank you for killing them,” he said softly. “I’ve been trying to track them down for years to do it myself.”

“I’m sorry about your mother,” Keith said.

“She lived,” Rian clarified. “For a while, at least. Couldn’t stand the sight of her purple child, just like her.” He smiled bitterly. “That was why she killed herself, or so I was told.” He kept his arms folded, fingers digging into his skin. “She didn’t live long enough to see that her child also inherited the long-lost Altean shape-shifting abilities.”

“Well that explains why you’re not purple,” Lance said, and then looked at Keith. “Wait, do you have Altean blood, too? Is that why you can shapeshift between furry and not?”

“I don’t know,” Keith said. “And I really don’t even care at this point.” He looked over to Rian, who still looked irritated that he had even shared any of this with someone he allegedly didn’t like. Then Keith held out his hand. “Truce?” he said, and Rian looked at his hand for a long moment, then took it.

“We’re on the same side now,” Rian said. “I guess.”

“Good enough for me,” Keith said, and rolled his eyes before he looked back over to Lance. “Why do you look like that?”

Lance’s eyes had gotten large and glittering. “I’m just so glad to see everyone getting along,” Lance said, mock choked-up, his hand on his chest.

Keith smacked Lance in the back of the head, who said a very loud and injured, “ow!” He rubbed the back of his head and muttered something under his breath while Rian folded his arms and shook his head.

“I still can’t believe that you’re with someone who gutted you like a fish,” Rian said, his tone derisive, and Lance shrugged.

“He’s my mate,” he said. “I would bare my throat to him if he asked to rip it out with his teeth.” Both Keith and Rian stared at him, and Lance hesitated. “…what?”

“I think that’s legitimately the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me,” Keith said, a little awed.

“Okay, that’s a problem,” Lance said. “We need to fix that.” He waved to Shiro. “Hey, Shiro! What’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever said to you?”

“Nothing that I’m going to repeat in polite company,” Shiro yelled back from across the training deck.

“God dammit,” Lance said, and folded his arms. “I’m disappointed. I need to step up my wooing game.” He looked up when Keith placed his hand on Lance’s head and leaned down, in close, rubbing his sweaty head against Lance’s.

“You’ve already won me over,” Keith said, and Lance pushed him away, affronted.

“Oh, gross, you’re so sweaty,” Lance yelped.

Rian shook his head and started to walk away. “Disgusting,” he said, as Keith grabbed Lance in a headlock and continued to rub his sweaty face all over Lance.

[sunder-soul]

𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝖉𝖔𝖛𝖊

❶·❷·❸·❹·❺·❻

Chapter Two: He’s very, very beautiful. Black hair in tidy waves, dark, hooded eyes lined with sooty lashes, full lips, angled jaw, and all his fine features illuminated by the glow from the pub behind you. If you’d met him anywhere else you might have blushed, but here, now, you have to resist the urge to arch a brow. Wordcount: 2.3k Content warning: language, allusions to bigotry.

Story Tags: @crazytwentythrees

Permanent Tags: @jujugentle @weirdowithnobeardo @pearlstiare @fromthehellmouth @whoevenfrickenknows @moatsnow @voidmalfoy @lucys-brain @sunles @arana-alpha @tallyovie @expectoscamander @nothinghcppens @itsjustfics @mikariell95 @suicide-sweetheart636 @toasterking

McCollin slams the Records Room logbook down on your desk and you nearly jump out of your skin. “I told you to drop it,” he says coolly.

Your initials are scribbled on the page half a dozen times over the past two weeks. You look up at him wide-eyed. “I…”

“You were only supposed to watch that stupid trial once,” he interrupts, eyes hard.

“Look, I’ve found stuff, McCollin! Merope Gaunt? She ran away with Tom Riddle, for Christs’ sake, they got married and everything! That’s why Morfin was talking about her in his trial!”

He falters, brow furrowing. “How did you find out that –”

“I’ve been doing some work on the case – off hours,” you add hastily at his expression, “and look, I know you said it was pretty cut and dry, but in that whole trial no one actually asks him why he did it –”

McCollin laughs a little unkindly. “No one asked him why he did it? Do you hear yourself? Didn’t you just say his sister married a Muggle?”

“Yeah but she died ages ago,” you say desperately, leaning forward.

“Why does that matter?”

“Morfin was released from Azkaban in ’28 and came home to find his sister gone. He lived right around the corner from those Muggles, McCollin, so why did he wait fifteen years to kill them?”

McCollin gives you a deeply sceptical look. “Your problem is that he didn’t kill them sooner?”

“My problem is there’s no reason that he didn’t kill them sooner!” you correct. “If he’s really such a nutcase, why did it take him that long to get revenge on the Riddles?”

“Maybe he didn’t know who she’d run off with until then,” he shrugs.

“Then how did he suddenly find out in ‘43?”

McCollin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Look, kiddo, I’m gonna do you a favour. I’ll let all this slide if you drop this thing now and stop letting it distract you.”

You gape at him. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.”

“But I’ve found –!”

“I don’t care what you’ve found, I need you to do your job,” McCollin snaps, waving at your desk. “So some pure-blood nutter murdered some Muggles because his sister ran off with one of ‘em, what in Merlin’s name is so hard to understand about that?”

“She had a kid with him!” you hiss.

He hesitates again. “You found a birth certificate?”

“No, but she died in a Muggle orphanage and was buried in the pauper’s yard, what do you think happened?”

McCollin, for the first time, looks somewhat doubtful. “Case never mentioned a kid…” he says slowly.

Hope sparks in your chest. “And where was Tom Riddle whilst his wife died in childbirth, huh? Where did the kid end up? Did Morfin know about them? Did Riddle even know?”

McCollin exhales a very fatigued sigh. “You’re not gonna let this go, are you.”

“No,” you say immediately.

“If you figure this out, will you get back to your actual job?”

“Yes.”

“You promise?”

You’re on the edge of your seat. “I promise.”

He grits his teeth. “Merlin… fine. What do you need?”

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

You hate Azkaban. The place is dark and cold and dripping wet, the dementors never stay quite far enough away, and the screams and sobs of the prisoners within the black stone stick in your heart for weeks afterwards.

“In and out,” McCollin mutters, pulling off his hat and casting the dementor beside you an aspersing look. “Five minutes, kiddo, and then we’re gone.”

You nod quickly and step down the long, dark corridor, peering at the parchment in your hand and checking it against the cell numbers scratched into the stone on either wall. You find him around the corner. Cell 75191.

You lift your lit wand, squinting into the darkness. “Morfin…?”

There’s the faint clinking of chains and then a skin-crawling hiss that makes your heart clench in fear, followed by a rasping, phlegmy cackle.

“Morfin Gaunt?” you try again, catching sight of movement in the corner of the cell, a figure hunched there.

He only hisses again.

“I don’t speak Parseltongue, Mr Gaunt,” you say with a forced calm, “I’m here to talk about the Riddles.”

Morfin spits at the ground. “Riddles,” he growls. “Fucking Riddles, fucking filthy Muggle Riddles in their filthy stinking house, got what was coming didn’t they? Got what they deserved in the end –”

“You knew about Merope and Tom Riddle, didn’t you, Mr Gaunt?” you interrupt, hands shaking in the aching cold. You bury your non-wand hand in your pocket in vain – the chill of the prison is all-permeating.

“Filthy Riddle… filthy scumsucker…”

“Why did you kill the Riddles in 1943?”

He barks a hideous laugh. “Muggle scum they were, had it coming, saw the light leave their eyes at the end of a wand like was intended, not my sister, not my family –”

“Why did you wait, Mr Gaunt?”

There’s silence. Your heart thrums nervously.

“You got home in 1928 but you didn’t kill the Riddles until 1943… Why didn’t you kill them sooner?” you press carefully.

Morfin doesn’t reply for a moment, and then – “Muggle scum,” he mutters a little dolefully.

“Yes but what changed?” you say, patience fraying a bit. “What changed in 1943? Did something happen?”

“Scourge of the earth… got to get rid of ‘em all, that Grindelwald fellow had the right idea, get rid of ‘em –”

There’s a sound like a heavy door closing in the distance and you’re suddenly very aware that you don’t have a lot of time left. “Did you know about Merope’s child?” you ask pressingly.

Morfin descends into a coughing fit and spits what sounds like a hefty wad of mucus onto the floor of his cell. “Knew it,” he says darkly, “I knew it, that slut…”

“You knew?”

“Looked just like him, didn’t he?” he snarls.

“Who?” you say at once.

“He looked just like that nasty, filthy, disgusting Muggle… Well, they’re all dead now.” He laughs nastily again. “Rotting in the ground where they belong, Muggle scum…”

You can hear McCollin calling for you but your head is spinning. He waited… he waited fifteen years…

If Merope’s son had been born at the end of ’26, he would have been sixteen in July of ’43.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“I know why he waited,” you breathe to McCollin the second you’re back in the safety of the Ministry.

“Why?”

“I know why he waited to kill the Riddles – Merope’s son came to find him – maybe he was looking for his family, he probably grew up in that orphanage – he really did only find out about her kid in ’43 and it made him snap and –”

“Slow down,” McCollin frowns, hand on your shoulder. “What are you saying?”

“You have to get me access to Morfin’s memory of that day,” you say intensely.

His face and his hand fall in unison. “You said that if I got you in to see Morfin, you’d let it go,” he says sharply.

“I know but Jesus McCollin! Shouldn’t we find her son?”

“This is getting out of hand,” he mutters, turning and walking off across the huge entrance hall.

“Please,” you say, following him. “Please! I –”

“No,” he says flatly.

“But –!”

“What, you want to watch murders now?”

“McCollin, just listen –”

“I’m serious, drop it,” he drawls, stepping into an elevator and turning to point at you. “I don’t wanna hear you say the name Riddle again.”

The elevator dings, the door slides shut on McCollin’s serious face, and you sigh in frustration.

“Riddle?”

Your head lifts in surprise. The voice had come from beside you, a very formally-dressed old man with curated grey hair, gold glasses, and a haughty expression. “Yes, sir…?” you ask slowly.

“Ah yes, a real shame, all that,” the man sighs, looking up at the elevators expectantly.

You blink. You recognise the man from around the Ministry, but you can’t think of a single conceivable reason why a senior member of the International Confederation of Wizards knows the name of a Muggle murdered eight years ago. “…Yes, it was.”

“Such a waste,” he shakes his head sagely. “He could have gone far.”

You don’t know what to say. “You’re… you’re talking about Tom Riddle, sir…?”

“Yes, of course,” the man titters, “Slughorn recommended him to me personally – assured me he’d go far. A real talent, he said.”

Something is definitely not right, but the man’s elevator dings and he steps inside at once, expensive robes swirling as he turns. “To end up in Knockturn Alley of all places,” he sighs, “and to think... the boy could have been Minister for Magic one day.”

The doors shut before your gobsmacked face.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

“So let me get this straight,” Mori says lowly, setting down another drink for you. “You think the kid’s here? In Knockturn Alley?”

“I think so,” you murmur as Mori takes your empty glass away. “Either that or some poor schmuck with the exact same name as a murdered Muggle is walking around completely unrelated to all this shit.”

“Have you found anything on the kid?”

You nod blankly. “Looked up the name and found a ton of stuff straight away – star pupil at Hogwarts, won a ton of awards, Prefect, Head-boy –”

“Sounds like a square,” Mori snorts.

“He fell off the map a bit after school,” you frown, leaning forward on your forearms. “Found an address from a few years back but doesn’t seem up-to-date. The guy definitely mentioned Knockturn Alley though, so –”

“If you told me a name, I’ll probably know him.”

You shoot him a nervous look. “I dunno, Mori, I’m really pissing McCollin off with this already. If he finds out I’m leaking names –”

“Well I’ll tell you this for free, no one down this way’ll take kindly to someone in Ministry robes poking their nose around,” he says darkly.

You sigh and take a sip from your drink. “I know.”

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

You leave just past midnight, giving Mori a wave as you grab your cloak and head for the door, already reaching for your wand to Apparate as you push it open –

You walk straight into someone. “Oh,” you exclaim, stepping back. “I'm so sorry.”

“Not at all.”

You look up at the voice in surprise, smooth and pleasant and velvety. The face behind it is even better; he’s very, very beautiful. Black hair in tidy waves, dark, hooded eyes lined with sooty lashes, full lips, angled jaw, and all his fine features illuminated by the glow from the pub behind you as he pushes the door wide and holds it for you, stepping aside with a polite twist to his lips to let you out first.

If you’d met him anywhere else you might have blushed, but here, now, you have to resist the urge to arch a brow. He’s not exactly what you’d normally expect from customers of Moribund’s.

“Thank you,” you say evenly, stepping past him and rather theatrically hoping he’s not some sort of pretty-faced creature that would strike when your back’s turned –

“You’re from the Ministry?”

You hesitate. His question was perfectly curious and well-warranted – the purple robes you were still wearing were also not what one might normally expect from customers of Moribund’s. “I am,” you say quietly, pulling out your wand.

“Are you here on business or for pleasure?” he smiles a little. It makes him even more beautiful. It makes you more suspicious.

“A bit of both,” you say truthfully, thinking of your conversation with Mori.

“Rather strange for someone of your profession to patron a place like this,” says the young man, head tilting a fraction.

You hesitate for a moment, but if he intends on giving you trouble, it feels like a good idea to establish that you have people looking out for you around here. “I’m friends with the barman.”

“In which case it's odd I’ve not seen you more, then,” he says very smoothly, the little twist to his lips returning, “since I’m something of a regular.”

But you’ve had quite enough. “You’re letting the warmth out,” you say politely, inclining your head at the door he’s still holding open as you lift your wand. “Enjoy your drinks.”

“Would you care to join me?”

You hesitate, eyes flicking back to the young man. His head is still tilted slightly as he watches you, and suddenly you can’t tell if the curl to his lips is more attractive or unnerving.

“I’d very much like the company,” he smiles, white, straight teeth, too handsome, too gorgeous.

Alarm bells are going off in your head. Too smarmy. He knows he’s beautiful, that much was certain, and something about him is giving you the creeps in a way that feels strangely familiar. Like you’ve met him before. “No,” you say clearly, “but thanks for the invitation.”

“Ah, I should have known that someone like you would already be spoken for,” he says with a knowing nod, charming and good-natured.

“No,” you frown. You can’t tell what’s rubbing you the wrong way about him, but there’s something.

His brow lifts slightly, like your response surprised him. “Not a fan of the drink, then?”

You snort a light laugh. “No, I am.”

There’s a beat of silence. “An early morning, perhaps?” the young man says just as lightly – though there’s a very faint edge to his expression that you clock at once. He can’t figure out why you’ve rejected him. What an arrogant asshole…

You sigh a bit shortly, liking him less by the second. “Goodnight,” you say pointedly, trying to lift your wand again but –

“Have I offended you somehow, madam?” he asks, sounding slightly amused. “If I have it wasn’t my intention to do so.”

You shoot him a look that is unapologetically annoyed. “You haven’t offended me, you’ve disrespected me,” you say curtly.

His eyes sparkle, his lips curl even more. “By asking you to join me for a drink?”

“By refusing to take my answer graciously,” you retort smoothly, “I said no. I don’t appreciate being cajoled.”

Some of the humour dissipates from his face, and you seize the opportunity to escape.

“Goodnight.”

And you lift your wand in a swift motion and vanish before he can interrupt again.

☆゜·。。·゜゜·。。·゜★

❶·❷·❸·❹·❺·❻

Reply/message me to get added to the tag list! 💖

[camslightstories]

Tolerate It - Part 10

Lena Luthor x reader, Kara Danvers x reader, Alex Danvers x reader. Baby Danvers.

Notes: Hey guys! First of all, thank you for your patience and your support. I’m so sorry I took so long, like I commented it had been a rough two weeks. I think this chapter closes many questions but also opens a lot to understand what is going to happen...

I hope you guys enjoy it!. Thank you for reading, for your support and patience. I hope you have a great day!

Taglist: @multi-images @captain-josslett​ @aznblossom​ @venteen​ @coxmicbabygirl​ @lezzzbehonesthere​

Song use: Rat by Penelope Scott 

Russian Translations:

Принце��са - Princess

The room was filled by your heavy breathing and the sound of your hands making contact with the heavy bag. The slight light that came from the bulb gave enough sight for you to see and the others to check on you. The smell of french fries invaded the room as well as the sound of the arena coming out of the bag after your last hit. 

Taking your wrapped hand out of the bag, you huffed as the last of your patience started to leave. The last three days made you frustrated, every hour one of the teams would come into the room and try to make you open up. Some of them calmer than others.

Your conversations with them had been cold and short. Your disinterest every time they came made some of them have more determination and others to leave faster. The blank and void expression in your face every time they would come up with something that they hoped would let you open up, scared them. 

Kara overflowed with hope, but every time she tried with you and your expression kept beginning blank, your sister hated herself inside for making you leave. Alex was blinded by rage and sadness, she tried to be considerate but after the third visit without you talking, her comforting voice became yelling, determined to get you back. 

Oliver stood hours with your training and trying to make up to you, he was the one who had the longest time with you, his and yours silence made him know a lot of things. How much were you hurt and broken on the inside? Your fighting was somehow balanced to his, and he knew every time he looked into your eyes, you were lost and he wasn't going to stop trying but your best friend’s hope was slowly leaving. Felicity was calm and comforting, somehow made you comfortable when the blonde with glasses started to ramble out facts. Her hope and determination were the same as her fiance, she knew you were going to come back just like Oliver did. 

Lena never came inside of the room after your guys' first encounter. Pain covered her heart at the sight of the void you. Self-hatred and more had been going on since the first minute. She stood watching you from the window, but never coming inside, never trying to get you back. Kara and Alex had comforted your girlfriend as she never left the place, she was scared of losing you again, and there were nothing and no one that would eliminate that feeling. 

You lay on the couch as you eat the fries. Everything was silent and calm, comforting you inside. Thoughts have been moving through your head somehow making your bottle of feelings stir. You wanted to get out of there and find your life again. The soft smile of satisfaction when you remember how you had almost gotten back to Roulette, only to leave when the pain on your stomach began to fly in when you remembered the black-haired had shot you. 

The youngest Luthor stood outside watching you from the window, smiling softly when she saw your smile. Tears overwhelmed her as she did, remembering the times that smile grew bigger lighting the room and was only for her. 

Her expression left when she heard the strong footsteps of the Queen man, followed by the two Danvers sisters and Felicity. Oliver grabbed a gun and a knife from the glass cabinet before speaking up. “Don't stop me, she is going to talk”

“What!? Oliver!” Lena and Felicity screamed as your sister held them back, as the Green Arrow entered the room with determination. 

Immediately at the sound of the door, you sat up straight observing the Queen’s posture. Oliver didn't even hesitate to put the gun in your temple making you chuckle while getting up.

 Lena screamed as tears ran down her face trying to lose the redhead's grip. “No! You are going to hurt her, let me go!”

“Come on, Queen. Why are we wasting time? Both of us know that I don't have anything to live for, and neither I have something to die for, I'm just remaining” You said, the words hitting everyone have a cold stone. Your tone was truthful and somewhat open, closing your eyes as the last words purred from your tongue you stood there waiting for it. 

You didn't flinch at any moment of the encounter. Oliver gripped the gun stronger and walked away, the four women watching from the outside some calmer than others. The knife made his way in your direction almost grazing your face as you took a step aside well aware of Oliver's throw. 

Your expression remained intact, you didn't flinch, didn't think, didn't even breathe. That's when your redhead sister let go of Lena and came back with both of your parents. Eliza and Jeremiah both remained quiet as they entered the Arrow’s cave. Both of them knew of the situation. Jeremiah was different from Eliza and had determination and angriness in his eyes while your blonde mom stood with worry and sadness in her eyes. 

You stood there having a connected glance with the archer, only to furrow your eyes as the door opened again, only this time for all of them to come in. Lena and Felicity on the front walking to each side of the room, your sisters following behind and your parents at last. 

You scoffed the moment you saw your father, anger began to fill your body as your bottled feelings began to flow out, as your last bit of patience broke. “I'm not doing this anymore”

“You are not going anywhere kid,” The black-haired man said getting in front of you. Your sisters watched closely, while Oliver tried to put together your anger burst.

You spatted, glaring at him. Lena looked into your eyes finding a burst of pain, hurt, resentment, and anger hidden in your eyes. “Get the fuck out of my way, Jeremiah”

“Lilian let you out to play fetch, or did she finally get tired of you?” When the scientist only stepped closer, one of his hands trying to grab your clenching fits as blood came down from them. You tilted your head gaining control of the situation and speaking only for your sisters and mom’s eyes to go wide and your father to scoff.

“You do not speak to me with that tone, I’m your father, we are your family” Your father scoffed, taking a step back, looking at you disapprovingly with his arms closing in his chest.

You claimed with a sarcastic laugh. All of the hatred and angriness could be heard in your tone, also the hurt could be heard by everyone. “Here I thought you were are allergic to this family, or more specifically me” 

Leaving everyone confused, you walked out of the cave. Everyone stood quietly before your oldest sister burst in anger looking at your dad. “What the hell did she mean by that?”

----------

You entered the bar, and the sound of the music overwhelmed your ears. The smell of alcohol could be identified by your nose. The dark bar was full of people. Colored soft lights rotating around making you distingue where the bar stool was. 

“Pass me 5 shots and the bottle of vodka, please,” You said to the green-eyed bartender as you sat on one of the stools, keeping your glance to the table. 

Minutes became hours as the third vodka bottle stood empty at your right side, while you drank the five shots in less than a minute. Tears slowly gained control in your eyes as all of your feelings gained control of you. 

“Can I get another one, please? I just want to forget” Slurring your words while pouting to the blonde bartender, who had a worried expression on her face.

The blonde started but was interrupted by a voice behind you “Sweetheart, I don't think you should keep drinking-”

“Hey! You up for a competition?” A tall dark-haired guy with a group of women and men behind him asked you. Gaining your attention, you smirked before nodding fastly. 

You walked back to the table where all of the shots were begin arranged, determined to win, you chunked down a water bottle on one of the girl’s hands. Your drunkenness is starting to hit.

The minutes passed on a bliss, one moment you were drinking the first shot, and the next one you were begin cheered on after you chunked down a full bottle of vodka in less than 2 minutes. 

You start crying as one of the guys brought out the whisky and the wings. The boys drunkenly comforted you as you cried and sobbed for Lena. You sat at the edge of the table as you sang drunkenly with the rest of the group.

“I loved you, I loved you, I loved you, it's true”

“And sometimes I feel like I still fuckin' do”

Your hand made its way to the vodka, closing the distance on your way to chunk down as much as you could so you could forget, even though you didn't want to forget, it hurt you and you just wanted the pain to be gone. A hand grabbed the bottle with force and stopped you from drinking. 

In a second you were surrounded by your sisters, Oliver and Lena. All with worried faces on, as Kara read the name of what you were drinking. “Alien Vodka, out of this world”

“Hey, guys” You slurred, moving your head to rest in your hand as you smiled dumbly at them. 

All of them stood in shock when your warm and open personality was regained. You turned around when you felt a voice startled you. A brown-eyed brunette asked you, as she extended her hand to you. “Would you like to dance?”

Lena felt everything burning inside, the jealous feeling of seeing you with another person made her feel sick. Her whole demeanor changed the moment she smiled at you. ‘How dare any person think they can get their hands on you?’ Alex had caught on to her friend's reaction and slightly hit her shoulder playfully. 

“No, thank you. I have a certain type, soft black hair, green eyes you can get lost and an accent.” You responded with a dreamy smile on your face, as you put your head on the table and looked dreamily at the bar as you described Lena. 

The brunette nodded and walked off, Lena feeling pride inside as all of them watch you stare dreamily at the vodka bottle. Memories of Lena began to flow into your mind, nights of cuddling and kisses, holidays, galas, dates, everything. Her smile made you fall to your knees at every waking moment of the day.

The moment you went to grab the bottle again when the pain of the break up flowed back in, two strong arms scooped you in bridal style making you giggled as your best friend spoke. “That's enough for you, Y/N”

“Ollie! Ollie, I missed you so much” You claimed as you tried to hug him as strong as you could, giggling. 

“Me too, idiot,” Oliver said as he kissed your forehead with a smile.

“Idiot in love, Ollie. I told you that, Idiot is so much love” You said pointing a finger to his chest, as you hide your face in his neck.

Lena and your sister walked behind you and Oliver as he carried you. Glancing at her dreamily before speaking, playing with your hands, the trio heard the conversation.“You know we both wanted to marry strong geniuses. I had a ring, Ollie, the best ring for Lena. It was perfect for her. I worked so, so, so hard and I had it all planned. Christmas morning, only letting my sisters know that day because they would have asked me and bullied me the whole time.”

“Y/N-” He said softly only for you to interrupt him again.

“I don't ever want to stop loving her, even though it hurts, she was my everything Olie, like Felicity she is a soft genius, like Alex, my sister, do you remember her? She is strong, and like Kara she is a star and a hero” You interrupted, your voice came in as a broken sob, sadness coming out of it as you spoke. 

Oliver began to walk slower, as you started to cry silently. Emotional and physical pain overwhelming your body. The trio walked right up to you, as you spoke. “Dad told me I needed to put my feelings in a bottle and keep them inside, that would make me strong enough to fight the demons away. But Dad also left me two times, Ollie, he left me all alone after making me bottle my feelings.”

Alex and Lena clenched their fits as the words fell out of your mouth, while Kara scooped you in her arms, trying to calm you as heartbroken sobs began to come out of your mouth. Oliver kept his worried glances every once in a while, while Kara tried to comfort you as much as she could, having a heavy gut feeling that they weren't going to like what you have to say.

“I don't want to be alone. I wanted to be strong for everyone, so they could be happy” You whispered under your breath, as everything began to flow in. 

Flashback - 3 years before, 2 months after leaving National City

The nights after your departure from National City leaving everything behind had been the worst. Cold and silent nights in Texas as you cried yourself to sleep. After hours of clinging to everything that you could, it left you exhausted physically and mentally. 

Boxes and bags of takeout and beer flood the apartment. The mess of your clothes dividing your living room with your bed. The study apartment smelled like french fries, ice cream, and car oil. You laid your back on the couch dipping your fries into the ice cream bowl. Tears unstoppably running down your cheeks and heartbroken sobs coming out of your mouth.

The strong yet soft knock on the door startled you, making you face land into the floor when you went to get up off the couch. Walking over to the door you opened without even looking through the peephole. 

Your breath caught your breath, as you looked up to find a familiar, way too familiar face in front of you. Small and soft tears began to flow in your eyes when your eyes caught the view of your deceased father. Your stomach clenched painfully. Your vision became blurry and everything began to fade around you. 

The last thing you recognize is the warm embrace you had missed for years. The fatherly embraced that you craved after his death. 

-----

“You took a snooze” You woke up on the couch seeing a figure moving at your side, cleaning the apartment. Everything came crashing to you as your father walked over with a smile, you struggled to return one when all the emotional pain you had felt for the last two months and the pain from losing your father began to combine. 

You claimed to get up from the couch with hesitation, taking all of him. Scared that he would just vanish into the air. Memories of his funeral, memories of sleepless nights of crying and the void feeling for years.“Dad?”

“I know, it's confusing and almost unbelievable but I'm here, I'm real, I'm alive, Y/N,” Your father said, walking up to you waiting for your first move. The moment you touched his arm, your body became automatic and embraced him as much as you could, clinging to him scared that he would disappear again. 

Minutes passed and both of you pulled away, with teary, red puffy eyes you mumbled questions, not knowing the right one. “How...? What...? Why-?”

“A lot of things happened, I was severely injured and Cadmus took me in, they helped me get better and in exchange, I helped them with a few things.” He said as he sat upright on the couch.

The hurt that passed through your eyes as the relaxation hit you, was enough to not make you understand a few things. You said as you walked various times back and forth in the living room  “So you've been alive this entire time?”

“Yeah, I couldn't get in any contact with anyone who knew me as Jeremiah Danvers, if I did I would have put you all in danger, especially your sisters” He responded looking up to you, waiting for your reaction. 

“You have been keeping up with our lives?” You asked as you took a seat beside him, looking at him with teary eyes, and the same scared face you did as a kid.

“I have, your sisters grew up to be the strong, independent, heroes they were always meant to be. And you, my little artist did the same” He said bringing you into another hug, only for you to pull away before the hug.

You got up off the couch, as tears began to flow in again, the hatred that you had him for dying so early, the caring he gave you when you hurt yourself accidentally, the holidays, all of you together as a family, everything.

“I’m sorry” You exclaimed looking into his eyes, before taking a deep breath continuing. 

Your voice cracked the moment the last few words left your mouth. You tried to keep the tears from coming out, with shaky hands. “For hating you the time, I hated you. It just kept hurting and I didn't know how to stop it.”

“And when mom told us that you entered the DEO to protect Kara, and died in a plane crash when I was just a kid, that you did all of these things with them because they were older and it was their time for you to teach them that, but I never received them. I felt less when you weren't in my first father-daughter dance, or when I didn't have a dad to take to the fathers day in middle school, or when you taught Kara and Alex how to cook, or when you taught them how to go camping or to help me in the tryouts for my sports, or the tryouts for the band, or how to do my first Rubik's cube, I didn't have you for any of that, while they did” You commented. Your father sat on the couch, with teary eyes.

You finished breaking down in your knees as the last words left your mouth.“I know mom was there, and I love her for that but there were things that they learned from you, that I never got to do them. Inside jokes that were not appropriate until I was in middle school and more. Mom was amazing but there was always a missing void inside of me that I never got to fill until lately until it left again”

“I promise you, that it was never my intention. You, my little artist just like your sisters mean the world to me. And I promise you I will never leave you again” He promised, wrapping you in a fatherly embrace, as you sobbed.

“You promise?” You whispered after your breathing had become calmer, now in a more calmed but hurting stage, still wrapped in the hug with your now very alive father.

“I promise, crossing my heart with it” He whispered, kissing the top of your head after you let out a small chuckle. 

Hours had passed by and the two of you were eating pizza, as you caught up with him. A few things left your mind at unease but he was your father so how could you not trust him. Even though you force a smile from moment to moment, the broken feeling inside you never left, and Jeremiah had seemed to keep up.

“I know you loved her-” He said carefully, before putting his beer on the table as you interrupted.

You said cleaning your face with the napkin, looking him in the eye. Trying to make him understand. “Love, I love her that. I don't think I will ever stop”

“To be at your best, you need to face your demons and yours are all these insecurities and feelings that you have. And put them in a bottle, closing it, keeping them there. You are not going to feel pain or hurt or anything. You are going to be powerful, strong” He said calmly. 

Your mind went into overdrive, you didn't want to forget your feelings and less for Lena, she was the love of your life even though you weren't hers. You also didn't want to forget the caring and protectiveness towards your family. Your feelings were normally the greater part of you and you didn't know if you could just shape them into certain things.

You responded worriedly. “Why would I do that? I don't wanna stop feeling that, and less stop caring for everyone” 

“Do you trust me, Y/N/N?” He recounted looking at you with a sad smile and determination in his gaze. 

Somehow the question felt so foreign and everything inside you yelled for you to not trust him but you could only see the father that wanted the best for his kids. So you went and picked out your heart before your instinct as always. “I do, I do, dad”

“Then trust me with this, and if you do this I would be so proud of you,” He said walking to the couch, signaling you to go. 

Your heart and mind ached for his approval and his pride, something you had craved from everyone since you were a kid, and right now that your dad was willing to give it to you after all of this was more than worthy of it.

You murmured as you nodded sitting on the couch, turning to him. “Okay, I will make you proud dad”

“Close your eyes, clench your fits, breath fondly, and open your mind.” He said as you reclined into the couch following each one of his instructions.

Your father kept going after a pause, everything became quieter and the only thing you could focus on was in his instructions. “Imagine the glass bottle like if it was a room, and inside the room are all of your feelings, it doesn't matter if they are bad or good. Nothing can be left behind”

“Now when you breathe in again you are going to suck them all into the bottle and when you breathe out, you are going to close the glass bottle like if it was new, with a champagne cap so it can't be open” He finished taking a deep breath. 

Everything began to fade out. Your feelings, your memories, your insecurities, your wants, your needs, it was just blank. Until there wasn't anything anymore.

He said after he saw you fall asleep, looking over at you one last time before walking out of the apartment without even bothering to say goodbye. Leaving you behind unconscious and now in a new territory that you never experienced before. “There that's it, there it is” 

-----

You opened your eyes and everything was gone. There wasn't pain, or happiness, or hope there wasn't anything. A gut feeling of betrayal was what you felt as you got up off the couch. The solitude and silence were what gave you the bad feeling as you started to call out for your father. The only person you could rely on from now on. “Dad!? Dad!?”

The time of the day passed and you realized you were alone, that even you knew he was real and alive. He left you once again, this time more broken than before, and void than before. 

After giving you an out for your feelings all he did was put you in a box. Where you had to stay. And you understood that maybe you just weren't enough for anyone, and everyone was just too good for you. And now you weren't going to let anyone walk over you, you were going to be what your father once thought and wanted you to be. But this time, everything was going to be different, now that you were broken beyond repair, you were just going to remain.

Flashback ends

“Ollie?” You whispered as the five of you went into the elevator, your head on the crook of your blonde sister’s neck, finding the glance of your best friend.

He waited for your question, as everyone went silent. Alex and Lena froze when they heard your vulnerable, fragile, and hurt voice.  

“Do you think I am a princess?” You asked as you cling to your sister's shirt. Kara reassuringly kissing the top of your head. 

The last minutes had been intense, you had opened to them about your’s and your father’s interaction three years ago. Alex and Lena remained silent as well as Oliver, Kara would occasionally when she felt you sob quietly reassure you that you were not alone.

“I do, you are a strong, brave, and unbreakable princess” He responded with a smile, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he did. 

“Anatoly said the same, that's why I get to be the принцесса in the Bratva. Did you hear that Kar? I'm a princess” You claimed drunkenly with a chuckled and a small smile. Just like when you were a kid and you just had won a prize. 

Kara chuckled before hugging you closer to her chest as she spoke. Alex's small laugh in the background and Lena's heels sound as you guys walk into the room. “Yeah, I know little one, I know. But you need to sleep”

You looked up to your older sister with a pout on your face, almost crying. The same expression of a kicked puppy. Your voice was more into a yawn than a request. “You think Alex would sing to me? I can make the lemon pie she likes so much-”

“I will sing to you but you need to do two things for me, okay?” Alex responded as Kara laid you on the couch softly. Her voice was the same one she used on you as a kid when you got injured or sad.

 You responded as you brought her into an embrace, in which the redhead started to tear up. “Whatever you want”

She whispered kissing your forehead softly, before cleaning her tears waiting for your response.“You tell me about your scars, and you don't shut us out please”

“I promised, and Alex?” You called as they began to leave the room. 

She asked, walking closer to you. “Yes, honey?”

Your drunken thoughts, memories, and insecurities came out as the words left your lips, the drunkenness had seemed to take more effect on you when you didn't notice both Kara and Lena still standing at the doorway of the room begin able to hear the conversation.

You asked quietly, before looking up to her with a kicked puppy face worried. Your tone almost lets out a sob that you caught the moment your ex came into your mind.“Do you think if Lena had seen the ring, she would have liked it?”

“I know she would have loved it, baby bear,” The redhead said, cleaning away the tear that had got out of your eye. Smiling sweetly at you before walking away again.

You murmured when the door closed, your consciousness and foggy mind leaving you. As you fell asleep “I love you guys so, so, so much” 

-----

Lena stood at the side watching you and your sisters interact. Her heart ached painfully when she learned that you had a ring for her. You were planning to propose to her as if you were the love of her life. The moment the words fell out of your lips ‘perfect like her’ her heart broke into million pieces. 

Lena remembered every single smile, laugh, kiss, hug, cuddle, and more. As everything fell into place, the hits in the romantic movies. The sudden and carefully said by you ‘I want to wake up like this every single day of my life’ ‘I want to have you forever and always’ ‘I could get used to your sudden use of bad jokes’ ‘i wish to kiss you infinity times’ and more.

Reliving the same pain over and over again. Kara and Lena stood outside of the door where Alex looked apologetically between them. Both of them silently cry, at the sudden relaxation. Alex opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before walking away without a word. 

The best friends stood there unable to put their thoughts together. Both of them hurt inside for hurting one of the most important people in their lives. Both of her hearts and minds hurting and hating themselves for it.

They had ruined you, as well as your father did. And now they didn't even know where to start getting you back. After all, you were just you, you were strong but easy to break, and now that you were broken beyond repair, would you be able to come back forever and not as you are intoxicated in something?

[whatifxwereyou]

The Oncoming Storm Part 16: The Road Ahead

Liu Kang x Reader and Kung Lao x Reader (gonna do both, two paths!)

Here we go! Yay! I'm excited for the decision you guys made and worked on planning it out last night. Looking forward to some more Kung Lao followed by some delightful Liu Kang, followed by some shenanigans- and then the big choice. Then the fic will split and change names depending on who you wish to follow. I also have two more new fics on the way. I'm still sorting out the notes for those. One will be Liu, the other Lao. Lao's will be very action oriented and Liu's will be a bit more psychological. Hope you are all having a fantastic Monday! Much love and thanks for reading!

Part 15 Part 17 Chapter Index

You mulled over the decision but not for long. It wasn’t a difficult one. “I don’t see why we shouldn’t do it how you’re suggesting.” You shrugged. Kung Lao adjusted behind you. You were still weary but felt stronger as time passed, though marginally so. “If Kung Lao is excited about going to Japan, then he can come with me to Japan.” Just to prove that you could, you sat upright though you felt the weight of your body was still a bit too much for you. Kung Lao placed his hand on your lower back to help support you without drawing any attention to your wobbliness. You were very appreciative of his discretion. Every movement you made that was off, sent Liu Kang’s blood pressure through the roof. “And if Liu Kang is familiar with Huangshan, then that will give us a leg up there. We could use any advantage we can find. If I remember correctly, the Yellow Mountains are huge.”

Liu Kang nodded to confirm that it was true. You didn’t remember much about Huangshan other than what you had read about in school. From the little you did remember you were grateful to have a guide so you wouldn’t have to hike for days to search for an obscure point hidden amongst the rocks.

“Then it is decided.” Raiden looked to you for confirmation and you nodded.

“For the record, I promise that I’m not just excited about Japan and the festival. I’ve spent some time there so I’m familiar with getting around. Not specifically Mount Osore, of course but some familiarity is better than none.” Kung Lao then leaned closer to you and whispered with a grin in Japanese. “I’ll make sure that we’re both safe.” You smiled fondly. You spoke enough Japanese to get by. Your mother had grown up in Chiba and had spoken it often in your youth. You weren’t practiced and would likely be barely conversational but could get by better than most. You’d always wanted to go to Japan. This was a funny way to go about achieving that dream. Honestly, you’d never left home other than a few trips to Vietnam to take your students to competitions.

“Your trip will give me time to do a bit of research in Huangshan. I’ll do my best to see what I can find out before you meet me there.”

You urged Kung Lao’s hand away from your lower back and scooted away from his lap where he’d held you. Liu Kang, still crouched nearby, reached for your hand, and urged his fingers to your wrist to check for a pulse. You sighed and watched as Kung Lao tried not to laugh at your frustration. You waited patiently for Liu to get what he needed but when he didn’t let go, you decided to swat his hand away.

He smiled and turned his gaze, aware that he had lingered for much longer than necessary. The air in Raiden’s chamber was stifling. Between the haze of magic that you’d cooked up and being somewhat sandwiched between two of your favorite people, you could barely breathe. You were suddenly ecstatic to spend some time away from Raiden’s Temple. Not that you didn’t appreciate it. You did! But it would be nice to see the rest of the world. Yours had shrunk from your hometown to this temple and even though it was technically bigger than your hometown it was also out of time, in a way.

“We can head out as soon as Lord Raiden is ready to send us off.” Kung Lao seemed excited. “Right?”

“Immediately?” Liu objected.

“Why not? What are we waiting on, you think?”

“Do you really think that it’s the best idea to leave right this second, Kung Lao? Y/N just had a vision last night. And after what we just witnessed she can barely sit upright.” Liu Kang counted the reasons on his fingers. “Not to mention that I’m burnt out. I need rest.”

“Wow, the pun.”

“…not intended.” Liu considered and seemed pleased.

“Bull.” You teased and Kung Lao laughed and offered you a high five which you reciprocated. Liu rolled his eyes at them both with a heavy sigh.

“Joking aside, wouldn’t it be wise to take a day and be better prepared?”

“That seems like a waste of time.”

“There’s plenty to do today, Kung Lao. Find a place to stay while we’re there. Food. Clothing. Timing. Research where and how to approach this…” Liu counted the reasons again on his fingers.

“I…” You began.

“We can figure that out just as easily when we get to where we’re going.”

“And what if we’re attacked?”

“You really think that something’s going to hunt us the moment we arrive?”

“I don’t think-“ You tried again.

“Not the moment we arrive but we have to consider the possibility considering the way that voice spoke and what Lord Raiden saw.”

You decided to tune them out as they argued. Considering it was about you and your trip you were a little annoyed that they were talking as though you were not there in the room to help decide. You could feel Lord Raiden’s piercing gaze on you as if he were curious to see how you would handle being talked over.

“Listen, boys, your both pretty,” you spoke loud enough to interrupt them. Liu Kang and Kung Lao silenced, looking to you with wide eyes. “And you both make valid points but I’m making the decision. We’ll leave tomorrow morning. I need a chance to rest and prepare. And no, I’m not making this decision on either of your recommendations. This is what I think is best. I know that I’m too tired to do what needs to be done there today.” You scolded them but did so with a smile. It felt nice to be listened to. “This is my quest and you will follow my lead. Got it? I won’t be talked over and steam rolled by you two.”

“Got it loud and clear.” Kung Lao smirked. “I like take charge Y/N. She’s fun.”

Liu Kang on the other hand still looked incredibly worried. “Yes, of course. I’ll follow where you lead, Y/N.”

Raiden stepped closer and you could see the hint of a smile on his face. You were glad that you’d taken his silent encouragement to interrupt the two brothers. “Tomorrow morning you will meet me here and I will send you on your way.” He then turned to Kung Lao and offered him a look that was also a warning. “Remember, this is important.” Liu Kang narrowed his eyes at his brother as if to warn the same thing. You couldn’t hide your curiosity as to why that was. You would absolutely be asking about it later. What kind of trouble was Kung Lao know for getting into exactly?

“You two worry too much. I’m taking this very seriously.”

“When you are finished in Japan then Kung Lao will call me.” Raiden addressed you without further explanation. “I will return him here and send you to meet with Liu Kang in Huangshan.” How exactly would Kung Lao call upon him? You supposed that he was a god, so there was probably some unspoken magic. You’d make a point to ask Kung Lao about that later, too. It would be easier than asking Raiden. He really was intimidating.

“Will do.” Kung Lao smiled and Liu Kang nodded his agreement.

“I’m going to stop by the infirmary to get checked out now. Just in case. I don’t remember any of what went on here, but I can feel how tired I am.” You were nervous to try and stand on your own, but you also didn’t want to feel anyone else’s worry that day. You’d had enough from Liu the other night. You found his worry sweet, but also a little excessive. Liu Kang seemed surprised and impressed that you were going there on your own without him twisting your arm. Before he could say anything, Kung Lao had jumped to his feet.

“I’ll walk you there.” He offered you a hand. You rejected it and stood on your own, just to prove that you could, even if you hadn’t been positive that you could. It had been worth the effort it turned out, even if your legs were wobbly. Kung Lao had a way of making you wish to prove that you could do things beyond what you thought you were capable of. Even so, he offered his arm, unbothered that you’d ignored his hand. You took it. Your body was exhausted, after all. At least your neck had decided to continue supporting your head. You’d been through a lot lately and were grateful that your body listened to you at all.

“I’ll check in on you later.” Liu assured you and you smiled.

“See you then. Raiden? Thank you.” You bowed politely to them both and Raiden silently acknowledged your gratitude with a bow of his own. There was more that you’d wanted to say to Liu Kang, but Kung Lao was already leading you out of the room. You’d have time to talk to him later. You stole a glance over your shoulder and found him watching you go. Usually when you caught him staring, he would avert his eyes and go about his business but this time he offered you a knowing smile that made your heart flutter. Then he went to speak with Lord Raiden.

Kung Lao led you down the long hallway and around the corner. You pulled from his arm and leaned heavily against the wall once out of sight of Raiden’s chamber. With an exasperated noise, you let your full weight rest against the wall and caught your breath that you’d practically been holding. Your whole body was sore as if you’d worked out far beyond your limit. “I need a second.”

Kung Lao laughed and stood before you, amused. “Exhausted, huh?”

“So exhausted.” You swatted his hand as he reached for you and then whined as he urged his arm around your waist and pulled you away from the wall. You continued like that toward the stairs. He supported most of your weight but didn’t drag you or hurry you too quickly. “Thanks, Lao.”

“No problem, Y/N. Figured you needed an out and a little help to get it. Liu was radiating with worry. Kinda knew you were trying to save face especially after your cute little speech.” He teased but you were grateful that instead of making you sit and breathe, he was just dragging you along like it was no big deal. You did kind of want to lay down and sleep for a year though.

“He worries about me a bit too much, I think. I don’t want him to stress over me. Thank you for helping me do that and not just picking me up like I’m an invalid.”

“I get it. Happy to help.” He shrugged. “Definitely thought about picking you up and doing just that but you seemed particularly defiant after your episode, there.”

“I am feeling particularly defiant.”

“I can tell. And those dragons, Y/N, well, I’m impressed.”

“…how long was I out like that, by the way?”

“Oh, a long while. About an hour, I’d say.”

“An hour?” You gasped, stopping your walk and pulling a bit away from him, just so you could turn to face him. “Raiden and Liu had to keep all that back for that long?” What the hell? You could barely summon an ink jian yesterday and had made dragons, a vortex, and a throne for an hour while you were unconscious!

“Who’s worrying now?”

“No wonder he’s burnt out, Kung Lao! No wonder my body hates me.” You shook out your fingers. They were tingling on and off with numbness. Kung Lao urged you onward.

“Don’t feel bad about it, Y/N. It was awesome.” Kung Lao was beaming with pride. His smile was just like it had been when you were kids, but it suited him better now- with just the slightest hint of dimples and the cutest little wrinkle on his chin.

“It was terrifying. My body did all that without me.”

“When you can control it then you’ll change your tune.”

“Probably but still!” You weren’t sure that you would ever be able to control it to that extent at this point. Honestly, you were still perturbed that it had happened in the first place. Your body and arcana doing things without your permission, speaking in other voices? It was spooky and not in a fun Halloween sort of way. More of in a possessed-by-demons way.

“When we get to Japan, we’ll stop and pick something up to wear to the festival. Probably yukata? Going to look into the appropriate garb.” Kung Lao was apparently done talking about that now.

“You have no idea how much I long for new clothing.”

“Oh? But why?” Kung Lao looked you over while you walked. You were steadier as you went, less losing your footing and wobbling. His grip had relaxed on you, but he still kept his arm around you just in case. Probably. “You’re very cute in the hanfu.”

“Yeah, well your fancy Raiden’s Temple clothing is easier to function in. I need jeans, Kung Lao. Jeans and comfortable shirts! These are pretty but they’re a little too delicate for me. I certainly can’t fight in them. I’m not delicate. You know that.”

“I do. All too well.”

You shoved him playfully, but he didn’t let go of you. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. I get it. Still like the hanfu though.”

“Where did you get all yours, anyway?” You tugged on the jade ring on his belt. You loved what he wore. It was as though it had been personally tailored just for him. He smirked.

“You earn cool clothing with great power, Y/N. Someday you’ll earn your own too.”

“That’s a dumb answer.” You rolled your eyes at him. The trip to the infirmary was just about over and you were grateful for his conversation along the way. Your legs were tired of carrying your body around. Once inside, you waved at Chen who was across the room and surrounded by boxes. Chen smiled at you and held up a finger as if to tell you that she’d be with you in a moment.

You escaped Kung Lao’s arms and turned instead to face him. He folded his arms over his chest and smiled down at you. “Kind of feels like we’re in one of those movies we used to watch at your Grandma’s.” He sounded amused.

“Like Disciples of the 36thChamber?” You recalled one of your favorites. You had nearly destroyed the old VHS tape that your Grandma had recorded it on for you. You’d fast forward through the commercials, seated way too close to the television.

“Or Police Story.”

You smiled fondly in remembrance. Those were some of your happiest memories. You’d spent hours watching your Grandma’s tapes and then you’d go outside and pretend that you were skilled enough to be part of them. You’d held onto those memories tighter than most because he had died. It was still amazing to you that he was there and alive. You really should have talked about it but now wasn’t the time. When would it be though? “I’m not sure that what we’re about to do is going to be anything like those movies but I am pretty excited to remember what the rest of the planet looks like outside of this temple.”

“It’s a healthy reminder. Grounding. This place can be all consuming and a little overwhelming.” You were surprised to find that he understood the idea better than you had expected him to. Kung Lao was very much full of surprises. “Do you need me to stick around or are you okay down here on your own? I don’t love this place. Bad memories. Besides, I’ve got a dozen things to do before the day’s over and we’re on our way to Japan.”

“Oh? Is that so? You were pretty adamant that we leave immediately.” You teased.

“Does that mean you don’t want me to leave? Is that what you’re getting at?” He grinned, eyes sparkling in amusement. His whole face lit up when he smiled. It was remarkable.

“I didn’t say that. I’m just calling your bluff.”

“What bluff?”

“Boy, you can be frustrating.” You shoved his shoulder and he pretended to be pushed back and then smiled.

“Really though, can I go?”

“Go, Kung Lao. I’m fine here. Chen will help me if I need it.”

“Okay, okay.” He laughed and then walked backwards toward the doorway into the hall. “But if you need me then just send someone to find me.”

“Just go!” You laughed and as you turned away, you heard a crash behind you, as though Kung Lao had knocked something over while walking backwards. You did your best to resist looking backwards so that he could save face, but you laughed anyway. Then you took a seat against the far wall of the infirmary, waiting near where Chen was working. Moments later, Chen took the seat next to you with a smile. She looked tired but still happy to see you.

“I noticed that it wasn’t Liu Kang who brought you here today. And that Kung Lao was fully clothed.”

“…do you think that I’m strategically permanently disrobing them or something? I told you what happened this morning.” You furrowed your brow in sincere confusion at the accusation.

“One could hope. Perhaps I gave you too much credit.” Chen laughed and folded her hands neatly in her lap. You sat then in silence for a moment. “Are you here to gush more about Liu or…?”

“Or what? I’m actually here for medical reasons as I so frequently am? Since I have never once ever come to you just to gossip? Especially gossip about myself?”

“Or you could be here to talk about that dopey smile Kung Lao had on and the fact that he knocked over a whole stand of medical supplies on his way out. Or that he was in the infirmary willingly again. I can count the number of times he’s been here on one hand. At least before you got here. And those times were dragged in bloody and beaten.” You didn’t like the mental image of him bloody and beaten.

“You’re the most ridiculous gossip I have ever met.” You whispered in an accusatory tone.

“I know!” She shouted and you held your face in your hands and laughed. Chen had a way of making you smile more than anyone ever had. “Besides, you can do both those things while here. Gossip and the medical stuff. It’s called multitasking, Y/N.”

“I’m leaving for a few days on an errand. Wanted to check in before I go. Today was a lot too and I’m feeling particularly drained.”

Chen frowned.

You felt instantly slighted and turned your gaze to the floor. You were capable. Everyone worried about you, but you’d be fine. You knew this was scary and you kept repeating Raiden’s warning of death in your head, but you could do this. You would fight until your last breath.

“Why are you leaving?”

“Everyone looks at me like that, Chen. I’m fine.” That wasn’t true, you supposed. Kung Lao didn’t often look at you like that. Even as kids he hadn’t.

“Do you want me to list all the reasons that’s a lie? Because I could. I won’t and since you probably have to do this, I’ll send you with extra supplies just in case.” Chen shook her upset away and mustered optimism for your sake. You were grateful. “Are you going with Liu Kang? And more importantly, will you get to have any fun with Liu Kang? Or Kung Lao? I’m not picky at this point. Both very good looking.”

You ignored the gossipy remark and instead explained your vision that morning and very vaguely touched on where you had to go and what you had to do. You weren’t sure how much you should share so you were careful to leave out the most important details. To be honest, you had no idea what you expected to find in either place but it felt good to have a purpose that you knew you could achieve. You very briefly touched on the disturbing incident with Lord Raiden but avoided most of the messy details. You’d been dead unconscious through it, anyway. Chen’s face flickered back and forth between worry and trying to keep a smile up for you. You supposed you couldn’t blame Chen.

“Well, then I’ll make you a little kit to travel with.” Chen patted your shoulder and stood, setting about shoving supplies into a portable first aid kit nearby. She was filling it with the basics but also small bottles of pills and several syringes. She then set about writing instructions for how to use each of them. You were almost certain that you wouldn’t need any of it but were still grateful. “Just in case. Better to have it and not need it then need it and not have it.” She closed the small case and then handed it to you where you placed it in your lap. Then she took both of your hands and sat next to you.

“Thank you, Chen.”

“It’s no problem. This one though? This is a personal prescription given to you by your friend and doctor. Please. Please, I’m begging you. Get drunk. Make some stupid, immature mistakes with one or both of those men. Please? For me? I’m begging. Literally.”

“Ch… I… what?” You stuttered and felt your face burning again. You thought you’d gotten past that today. “Did you not hear the whole part about ancient sacred objects hidden away by a demon creature that I have to find? Or… were you not listening?”

“Oh, no, I heard you. But please… also do the other thing. You can do both. Really. I mean that in every way you can interpret it.” Chen let go of your hands and then tapped the medical kit. “Also, glance over the notes I wrote for you just in case you do need any of this stuff.”

“Oh my God, Chen.” You laughed, leaning your head back against the wall behind your chair. “…thank you for bringing some levity to all this.”

“Thank you for bringing me such delicious gossip all the time.”

You rolled your eyes but still smiled. You were grateful to have Chen looking out for your well-being both physically and mentally. It was so easy to get lost in the haze that was Liu Kang and Kung Lao but with Chen’s constant teasing and joking, it helped you from getting consumed by it. “Would you walk me back to my room by any chance? Not so great on my feet today.”

“Sure, but I’m going to tease you the entire time about Liu Kang being half naked in your room first thing this morning. Still not completely convinced that he was just being comforting unless that word had changed its meaning since I learned it. You kids these days and your slang.”

“Could you possibly keep your voice down?” You stood, slipping the medical kit under your arm.

“It’s fine, Y/N. Everyone in here knows already.”

“I-Chen! What?” You were stuttering again. They all knew? You looked around the room and several of the nearby monks nodded to confirm this was true. Your face was on fire again.

“You’re a fool if you think it’s not super obvious or something. In fact, we have a pool going on down here. One of us is going to be much wealthier after you’ve sorted things out.” Chen shrugged. “I am one of the only people voting for both.”

“You are all terrible monks. Every single one of you.” You said very loudly, and the other monks laughed. Some waved as you and Chen made your way out of the infirmary. Others wished you luck on your journey. One even whispered he was betting on Kung Lao. You suddenly felt very exposed. Were you really that obvious? Chen stayed close to you as you walked and steadied you as she needed to. After you were sure you could talk without dying of embarrassment, you couldn’t help but be curious. “…who’s winning this pool?”

“We all agreed that you’re not allowed to know. I’ll tell you much, much later down the road.”

You laughed, again grateful for Chen and how ridiculous she could be. You were exhausted but also excited for the journey ahead. The next morning you’d be meeting with Kung Lao and travel to Japan to a Buddhist shrine inside a caldera. It was enough to look forward to that it would keep you from dwelling on Chen’s teasing and what Raiden had barely touched upon that morning.

If you didn’t get rid of the shadow hanging over you then you weren’t going to live to see Mortal Kombat.

[egcdeath]

a blip in the reader-verse

chapter 1: beginnings and endings

summary: a minor mistake causes a shift in the multiverse that only you have the capacity to fix.

(current) pairing: steve rogers x reader

word count: 1.2k

warnings: pretty angsty, unhealthy relationships (codependency) 

author’s note: i published this earlier but with a completely different plot (oops) ((i had to rewrite this whole thing)). i’ve never written anything longer than a one shot before, so please be nice! all reblogs are appreciated <3

Nothing had been the same since the Snap.

Unsurprisingly, watching half of your friends and teammates dissolve into no more than desaturated soot took an astounding toll in every single aspect of your life, but more than anything, in your love life.

Despite having some of your teammates left in the aftermath, you found yourself growing more and more anchored to Steve, and him with you. Although you began dating around a year before the Snap, the heavy loss that the both of you faced seem to launch you straight into the abyss of codependency.

Deep down, you knew that this wasn’t healthy for you. You’d be told millions of times by your remaining family and friends that no one should ever be as attached to anyone or anything as you were to Steve. He was your drug of choice, and you were reduced down to an addict.

You grew frustrated with those who challenged the nature of your relationship. It boiled down to the way that you felt that no one could truly understand the pain and guilt that the two of you constantly were doused in. Yet, at the same time, nothing could take your pain away and distract you from the distressing feelings more than Steve could.

You knew that if something were ever to happen to him, you’d be absolutely destroyed. You weren’t sure how you’d be able to go on through life without the super soldier by your side. Yet, this feeling was far from exclusive.

A multitude of nights had been spent in the dark, on opposite sides of the sofa in the living room of your apartment, silently listening to Steve vent, or allowing yourself to divulge your feelings yourself over the tragedy, your deepest fears, and anything else that was on your mind.

You were more than aware that Steve was just as afraid of losing you as you were of losing him.

That’s why you’d been so shocked when he offered to return the Infinity Stones sometime after Carol’s second snap.

You stood in the large field behind the Compound with knots tying and untying themselves in your stomach. You genuinely had an awful feeling about what was bound to occur, and you just weren't sure exactly why, it was just a gut feeling.

Coming up beside you, Sam looked around the field, observing the small platform, along with Steve as he chatted with Bruce and Tony, who were putting the final touches on the time machine.

“You okay? You’re chewing your lip like it’s an overcooked steak, or something,” he chuckled, clearly trying to lighten the mood.

“I don't know, Sam. I just don’t feel right about this,” you said softly, turning to look at him.

“It’s alright to be nervous, Y/N. Hell, I’m nervous too! But if it makes you feel any better, he’ll be back in like, 30 seconds, with not even a scratch on his body. And maybe it’ll do you guys some good to have some away time. I heard a certain couple became surgically attached at the hip while I was gone,” he gave you a little smirk.

“Ha ha,” you said drily, actually a bit more annoyed at the topic than you tried to let on. “Promise me he’s gonna be okay?” You asked, looking deep into Sam’s eyes, trying to draw out as much truth as possible.

“I promise. He’s coming over now, so try not to act like you’re on the brink of a heart attack,” he stepped aside, then received a big hug from his friend, before Steve moved on to bid you a farewell.

You sighed contentedly as you were wrapped in his warm and familiar embrace. The comfort of the hug alone had already calmed you down more than you could’ve ever expected.

“Why do you have to go?” You whispered sadly into his collarbone.

“I just do. But I’ll be back before you even realize I’m gone, okay?” He brought a hand up to your hair, and stroked it in what you’d learned was somewhat of a nervous tick. You simply nodded at the question, too upset with the situation to form the right words.

“I love you,” was all you could come up with.

“I love you too. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do while I’m gone.” He stepped away from you somewhat so he could get a good, final look at you.

“Come on, Rogers. Don’t you have some diamonds you’re supposed to be returning to the jewler  right now?” Tony asked jokingly. You gave him a sour face, but acknowledged that it was time for him to go.

With that, all you were able to do was stand back and watch. But after a moment, Steve’s returning point had passed. Then, a minute had passed. That minute turned to five. And your worst nightmare had suddenly become your reality.

----

Returning the stones had gone well, at first. Until it didn’t. Suddenly, Steve was in Stark Tower in 2012, Pym Particles smashed unceremoniously on the ground after falling several floors in the midst of a tussle with himself.

Steve couldn’t think of any worse scenario. Well, maybe if he hadn’t already returned all but the stone. But that didn’t even matter to him at the moment, he was permanently stuck in the past, and had probably created all sorts of time paradoxes.

Despite his own personal conflicts, he still had one task left, and he wasn’t going to risk a whole universe plunging into their darkest timeline due to a major panic on his part. After escaping the grasp of himself from the past, he managed to slip out of the building in one piece, before wandering the battered streets of New York in an attempt to find the Sanctum.

When Steve arrived at the Sanctum, the door had opened right up for him, as if he’d been expected all this time, and he was greeted by none other than the Ancient One.

“Captain Rogers,” she greeted, nodding, “I’m assuming you have something for me?”

Steve nodded, then handed her the briefcase. She opened it, then gladly put the Time Stone back in it’s proper home. “Ancient One, I need you to help me with something. Is there any way at all that you’d be able to send me back home?”

“Why can’t you get back yourself?” She questioned.

“Well, I kind of can’t. All the particles I used to get here are kind of.. Gone.” He sighed, cringing internally at his own irresponsibility.

The Ancient One sighed, and shook her head, “I can do my best, but I can’t guarantee you’ll get back home. I can help you send some sort of SOS to your friends, and I can send you to a new reality, but I can’t promise you’ll end up exactly where you want to be.”

“But we have to try something.” He added helplessly, gaining a nod from the woman standing across from him.

“You’re right. I think I have an idea of what we need to do.”

next chapter

[98shawns]

trusting you; trusting me. (t.c.)

dating in the workplace may be tough, but your new hopeless romantic of an assistant makes it worthwhile. 

(coworker au, boss x assistant au)

chapters: one, two

words: 2500

warnings: mentions of nsfw (none in this chapter unfortunately, but def in the next !!)

a/n: long time no post !! i wrote this such a long time ago and it’s collecting dust so i might as well post without worrying too much about how it will do, right? lol, hopefully i can get to writing more !!

Keeping a poker face is easy until the new employee transferring into your department was the guy you’d just spent the night with.

You keep your expression contained as you make a beeline towards your office. This wasn’t the plan. The plan was for you to let off some steam with some good looking guy at the bar and then leave without a trace the morning after. He was nice. Style, charisma, and a boyish charm all wrapped in one handsome package. Just your type. 

And you believe that you’d caught his fancy as well. He slipped his number written down on a napkin that sat wedged into your car’s sun blocker. (You’ve been pondering on whether or not you should shoot him a message all morning).

But as much as you enjoyed his company, he wasn’t supposed to be following you around.

‘I’m going crazy,’ You’re quick to frantically grab the file placed on your desk earlier this morning. Surely enough, Timothée Chalamet would be starting as your new assistant.

/////

“Fancy seeing you here,” is how Timothée greets you when you let him into your office. You bite your cheek as you frown at his words.

“Stop addressing me so casually. I’m your superior.” You lean back in your chair and offer Timothée a seat in front of your desk. His lips press into a straight line as he responds with a curt nod before eventually sitting down in front of you.

The atmosphere was heavy but you find yourself feeling somewhat relieved upon seeing the uneasiness in Timothée’s expression. It seemed like he wasn’t expecting an early reunion either.

“Let me get straight to the point,” you start, leaning forward and clasping your hands together as you rest your elbows on your desk. You see Timothée’s body visibly tense up.

“We’ll be spending a lot of time together from here on out. In regards to what happened last night, we can’t let it affect our practice here. While we’re in this building, we’re coworkers first. Got it?” Timothée nods in a silent agreement, and you try your best to not drown in how uncomfortable you had to make the situation for the both of you. It was protocol for situations like these, but you hated the thought of being professional to the man who sweet-talked you for the duration of all of last night. 

“That’s all. I know it’s a lot for your first day, but try your best. Most of our coworkers are all great people so hopefully they can help you adjust. If you need anything, just ask.” You end the conversation with a send-off you once read in a self-help book about excelling in management. It was just a standard between a manager and a worker; hopefully a standard the both of you will be able to upkeep.

You eventually stand up and extend your hand to give your new assistant a handshake. He stands with you and clasps your hand firmly.

‘He has a good handshake…’ You think about how odd it was that you held this very hand last night. It was cold and fragile yet still big and protective when he held you. He had long fingers and surprisingly soft skin; his hands were noticeably beautiful. You told him so as you dozed off in the wee hours of the morning.

Your touch lingers a few seconds longer than it should before you let go.

“Thank you.” Timothée breathes a sigh of relief as he bids you farewell and you let yourself fall back into your chair after he closed the door behind him.

/////

You were always the last to leave, especially on a weekend. Even a few years ago when you were stationed at the cubicle in the back of the office, one row of fluorescent lights would stay illuminating your space.

You were a hard worker with big plans. Everyone in your relatively new branch was around your age so you were well liked, admired, respected, or at least acknowledged by your coworkers by the time you eventually got promoted to a managerial position. The youngest manager in the company. You deserved it, and you would make sure that you’d aim higher. Nothing would come between you and your performance.

Well, maybe nothing but the new assistant you accidentally slept with a week ago.

“Can I talk to you?” You jump at the sound of Timothée’s voice. He looked up at you as he sat on the couch outside your office with his suit jacket slung over his shoulder and his briefcase resting beside him. Your hands grasp the door frame as you check the clock on your office wall. He’d been waiting for the last two hours for you to come out.

“Of course! You could have just knocked at 5:00–“

“It... isn’t about work.”

By the time you turned back to him he’d stood up. He fidgeted with his hands, putting them halfway into his pockets before eventually folding them in front of his body. You think of all the possibilities that would play out if you said yes and you consider telling him to wait until Monday when you’d see each other at work again. In a professional setting. You knew along the lines of what he was about to ask, and now wasn’t the time to get caught up in your emotions. Not when you’d only been promoted two years ago. 

But for some reason, something pulls at your heartstrings as you observe Timothée’s demeanour. He seemed so… innocent as he tried his best to be patient while he waited for a response.

You sigh and step outside your office, closing the door behind you. You stood still for a moment before caving.

“Have you eaten yet?”

When his face lights up, you realize that your new assistant may have you wrapped around his little finger. 

/////

You don’t know why you chose to come to Denny’s to have this conversation with Timothée, but it somehow felt right. Eating mediocre breakfast foods drowned in maple syrup helped to mask the fact that the two of you being together like this was, well, wrong.

“Are you adjusting well?” You break the silence. Well, silence other than the sounds of forks and knives clanking against each other. Timothée swallows a ball of nervousness down with his chocolate chip pancakes and nods.

“You’re right, everyone at our branch is really nice.” He smiles politely and it makes you feel uncomfortable. He seemed so free spirited when you first met him, but that was when you were just a person at a bar. Not his boss.

“That’s good.” You smile back. It’s not like you weren’t guilty either; he wasn’t just a charming boy approaching you with a cheesy one liner anymore. He was your employee.The two of you sit in each other’s silence for a moment longer.

“Thanks again,” He starts. Your eyes avert to his. 

“For what?”

“You’re not treating me any differently even though it must have been hard to stay professional for a whole week. You even let me keep my job.” 

“You thought I was going to fire you?” You ask, somewhat in disbelief. The more you think about it, firing him would make sense if you were heartless. He nods casually. “I was 100% positive when you called me into your office Monday morning.”

You try not to express your concern towards Timothée’s confession. It wasn’t your fault you accidentally slept with your new assistant but it obviously wasn’t his either. As long as you stayed professional during work hours, what was the problem? It’s not like he wouldn’t be able to redirect your calls or organize your schedule. The last thing you’d want was for him to feel uncomfortable towards you; he was your employee after all.

Yeah… your employee.

You wonder if that’s why you take the extra liberty of comforting him, and before you know it words of consolation becomes friendly conversation. It’s alright if you spend the next two or three hours chatting about nothing and everything at the same time … you weren’t at work, after all. There was no need to be so stiff around each other.

“We should get going,” You check the time: 11:30 p.m. You should have wrapped this up hours ago. You don’t notice Timothée’s smidgen of a smile as he watches you gather your belongings. He eventually stands up to grab your trench coat off the coat hanger beside your booth. You scoff as he holds it up for you, eventually helping you slip into it before he shrugs on his own jacket. 

“Together?” The monotonous waitress, who’d been taking care of you since you entered, punched a few buttons on the cash register. You noticed that she’d let her hair down and put on a sweater as you walk up to the counter to pay for your meal. She must be getting ready to go home as well.

“Actually–“

“Yes, please.” Timothée cuts you off by giving his card to the waitress, effectively stopping you from rummaging through your purse.

“What are you doing?” You whisper, watching Timothée’s face as he punches his card combination into the machine. He only smiles when he hears the beep of an approved transaction, and thanks the waitress before finally turning towards you.

“You paid last time.” He shrugs. You feel your heart flutter as he reminded you of the weekend you spent with him.

‘Oh no,’ You think, following him out into the parking lot and back to your car. This wasn’t going to lead to where you thought it was going to, would it…? He joined you for dinner, he listened to your mindless conversation, he helped you with your jacket, he paid for your food…

Well, it was fun while it lasted.

“Timothée,” As the two of you walked out onto the parking lot, he’d just opened the car door when you called his name. He stares up at you with a grin, his hand still resting on top of the car door. You swallow your nervousness. “what did you really want to talk about?”

The subtlety of Timothée’s faltering grin is hard to catch. He was well aware of it too, how tonight didn’t feel like a simple get together between two professionals… actually, it felt quite the opposite. Almost like a date. 

“I like you.” He says, completely serious. You bite your cheek. “A lot.”

“We’re coworkers.”

“Can we not be more than just coworkers?”

You frown at his question. Maybe it was because he was young, but Timothée’s aggressiveness and passion makes your heart squeeze in your chest. You wanted to ask that question too, why couldn’t you be anything more?

“I’ve only known you for a week. I see you every weekday because I’m your boss. It’d be too much for us,” You start, finally stepping into your car and slamming the door shut. Timothée follows, and you keep on chewing at your cheek. You shouldn’t be so defensive; you had to stay professional. “at least not while we’re so young.”

“But we’ve got our whole life ahead of us, shouldn’t we at least try? We’re at the age where we can’t just waste our chances while they’re running out.” You let out a scoff at his words as you start the car, but you don’t say anything in response. You didn’t want him to know that his words resonated deeper within you that they should have. 

You start the drive to his house in silence, and Timothée sighs as he lets his back collide with the seat of your car in frustration. Your relationship as coworkers was not coming to a very good start, but you suppose that it had to start somewhere. Plus if he was looking for a relationship with someone, there were plenty of great looking people at the office. He’d get over it and so would you.

“We’re here.” You say, pulling in the parking lot next to Timothée’s apartment building. Timothée turns to you one last time, and with a sigh, unbuckles his seatbelt.

“Thank you for the ride.” You nod and keep your eyes glued to your steering wheel, waiting for him to leave. You don’t see his gaze avert to your eyes, then to your lips. Timothée opens his mouth but says nothing, only pressing his lips together as he opens your car door to step out onto the pavement beneath you.

You feel yourself sigh in relief when he shuts the door. Don’t look back, you tell yourself. You wouldn’t be able to control yourself if you did. Instead you fiddle with your sun blocker to distract yourself.

Thoughts of Timothée swirled through your mind, especially what he had said before you drove him home. Don’t waste chances while they run out.

You let out a halfhearted scoff. You could only wish to think like that. To be impulsive and take chances as they arise but you can’t. Sure you were jealous, but you’ve got too much on the line… too much to risk.

You lower your sun blocker and notice a forgotten napkin slip out and onto your lap. Timothée’s number from last week. You frown.

You were just a coward.

Fuck it. 

“Timothée, wait!” You call, practically jumping out of your car before running towards your assistant. You get as far as the front entrance before you see that he’d already gone inside and stepped into the elevator.

He only notices you behind the glass doors when he turns and looks up, just as the elevator doors begin to close.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, just after he stops the elevator from closing with his arm and runs towards you. He opens the door for you and you slowly walk inside, panting from your run over.

“I have to tell you something,” Timothée nods expectedly, and you rub the back of your neck.

“I really don’t think it’ll work out.” You start, watching the hopefulness in Timothée’s eyes die out. Just a bit. 

“I barely know you– I liked you from when we slept together but that’s it. I was wondering where we were going to go afterwards as well, but when I saw you at the office last week, I thought I had my answer.” You step closer to him.

“But now I’m wondering… I really don’t know anymore. Maybe this isn’t going anywhere– I can’t be so sure. But when I’m looking back at the past seventy years, what’s the first week, really?” Timothée’s lips part as you look into his eyes, and you feel a warmth rising up to your cheeks. “Wanna go out?”

The corners of Timothée’s lips immediately upturn at the sound of your words, and his hand shoots up to his mouth to cover his smile. Though, you end up seeing it anyways as it travels to his eyes.

“If you’ll have me.”

[sconnie-doesnt-know]

Chapter 2

Characters - Reader, Ransom Drysdale, assorted OCs 

Word count - 3100

Warnings - Drinking, language, sexual content

A/N - Hope you enjoy the next installment of my Ransom series. Still setting things up in the chapter, but we’re moving along. For a while, there will be a good amount of heavy drinking and the questionable choices that go along with that, just FYI. Remember this is fiction and the acts are not recommended. They will also be acknowledged later if you are concerned. 

Feedback is wonderful, & if you notice any errors please let me know!

Dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

Chapter 1

You order drinks plus shots. 

“To another fucking week,” you salute with Whitney. It burns, and it’s sweet, and you just want it to act fast.

“Yeah, another one.” She grabs hers, salutes, and tosses it back back. She cringes for a few seconds, but once she recovers, she picks right up with half of a conversation you weren’t having. “So, are you gonna take someone home tonight?”

“You’re more worried about my sex life than your own.” You shake your head at her.

“After what that asshole did to you, you deserve all the good fucking. I’m just trying to find a good dick to help you forget.”

“Wow, that’s sweet in a weird way.” You shake your head again, but smile this time.

“Well, it’s true. I also don’t want to feel bad if I ditch you later for my own fuck buddy.” She wiggles her eyebrows like a cartoon villain. At least she’s giving you a warning this time and not just disappearing on you later.

“Jesus, Whit. Yeah okay.” You can’t help but laugh with her. “It’s just,” you survey the group around you, “You never really know what you’re gonna find at the end of the night.”

“Uhhh, yeah. That’s what having a one-night stand is...Oh hi.” She offers a dazzling smile to a cute guy pushing next to her at the bar.

You wait a few seconds for her attention to return before you mutter, “I am well aware.”

“So pick a partner and do-si-do. Come on, cowgirl,” she nudges you, nodding to the guy in the fraying straw hat next to you. Nothing seems to deter her.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” you giggle. 

She smiles and shrugs. A few minutes pass as she looks you over, studying you.

“You’re being weird about this.”

“I know.” You nibble on the straw in your glass for a moment before getting to where your mind’s been stuck for hours. “So hey, that guy we hung out with? Ransom?”

“No.” She shakes her head hard from side to side, a slightly manic giggle coming out between the repeated, “No, no. No.”

“What?” you try to sound casual, indifferent, but she knows you too well. “I just want to know what his deal is.”

“You don’t,” she insists, shaking her head.

“Why? Did you sleep with him?” 

“No, I haven’t.” She pauses for a moment, you can see she’s actually thinking over her answer. “He’s just gonna get what he wants from you and push you away.”

“You do realize that’s exactly what you’ve been telling me to do? So I should screw someone, but not him...because that’s what he does?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, are he and Michelle a thing? I don’t want any extra relationship drama.”

“Psshh, yeah, god knows you’ve had enough of that.” She stares off into the middle distance before shaking her head and focusing again. “No, they’re not together either, but please? Please? Just promise me you’re not interested in Ransom.”

“Okay, but why?”

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t really think you’re his type.” She lets the words hang, and you’re unsure how to interpret them until you finally settle on hurt. You physically recoil a bit when the sting of her words hits.

“Wow, ouch. What the hell does that mean?” You look down into your lap, looking yourself over really quickly and not finding anything major sticking out.

“I just don’t see it. Trust me, and tell me you’re not being serious with this.” 

Even with her strange and kind of harsh reaction, you can’t get rid of the swooping feeling you get in your stomach just thinking about him. So, you try to purse your lips to control the uncomfortable smile trying to break through. You want to assure your friend, but can’t lie to her either...at least not well. 

“I’m totally not,” you finally say with an awkward laugh behind it. Again, failing miserably to play off nonchalance. 

She sees it all and knows you’re full of shit. “No one will have any respect for you if you fuck around with him.” She says, matter-of-factly.

Where this is all coming from, you have no idea.

“You’re being mean and cryptic and I don’t like it. I’m not even saying that anything’s going to happen, but that sounds a little extreme, Whit. Come on,” you whine.

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not. Just find someone and ask him to buy you a drink. Look around, you can pick anyone, but I am not enabling you and Ransom,” she quickly adds.

You try to lighten the mood by teasing her about having standards, but can’t find much ground to stand on when she brings The Ex into the discussion. She’s really on a roll tonight and pulling no punches. It’s not what you wanted or needed from the night. You came out with a mission to have fun, so you take a deep breath and decide to be the bigger person.

“Hey Whit?”

She keeps her eyes on the bar in front of her, letting you know she’s still somewhat annoyed at you. “Yesss?”

“This week sucked. Let’s get trashed.” You sling your arms around her shoulders and shake her until she laughs with you. Her party-friend is back in action.

“Fuck. Yes.”

You struggle to go along with Whitney’s plan for your night, especially when the Cowboy and just about every other guy she pushes your way fail to keep your interest. Not that you’d never had a one-night stand, but just that lately they’d been pretty awful experiences and you wondered far too often lately what a life of celibacy would look like. It’s much easier to dismiss the guys and remember that at least your vibrator can get the job done.

Before last call you give in and you text Jeff. Yes, the Jeff with whiskey dick who left you high and dry last time as Whitney reminds you with a giggle. He sounds genuinely happy to hear from you again and promises to make up for last time which makes it seem worth it to give him another shot. He’s tall, fit, with long fingers and if you remember correctly, a decent enough dick.

He manages to stay hard this time around, and he takes his time feeling you up, but the two of you can’t find a rhythm that works. You finally bat his hand away and rub yourself off while he pumps sloppily into you. Afterward, he leans in for a kiss and you turn away to give him your cheek. Getting dressed, you give him a few non-committal answers when he asks about seeing you again, and at the end of it all, you’re most grateful that you didn’t take him to your place. 

You spread out alone in your own bed and think over Whitney’s words.

Whitney knows more than a few of your dirty secrets; the friendship between you two had blossomed quickly with your guard easily let down. She never really judged you, at least not openly, which left you swirling in doubt for days, obsessing over what would probably end up being nothing. 

What made you not his type - looks? Money? Another woman? She never really had a filter, but she was being so short on the topic of Ransom which made you think even harder, rooting through some more recent bad memories.

“Am I a bad person?” you ask Carrie during the week.

“What? No!”

You accept her answer with a nod, silently thinking.

“I wonder if I should just take a break.” When Carrie looks at you funny, you clarify, “Like, maybe I am finding these losers because I am not all that great myself? These guys are all just…”

“Babe, you’re meeting them at bars...with Whitney.”

You heave in a deep sigh, “I know. And she’s not that bad.” A humorless laugh escapes. “Maybe I am aiming too high or something?”

“There’s no such thing.” You see her shoulders shift, fire in her eyes and protective mode activated like she’s done a few times in staff meetings. “What happened?” she asks.

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

Whitney laughs when you tell her you’re thinking of taking a break.

“Was Jeff that bad? I thought you said he was good with his fingers.”

You look around, even if Whitney has forgotten she’s in public, you haven’t. No one else reacts though, thankfully.

“You’re such a bitch,” you sigh. She fakes offense which you ignore. “No, he wasn’t that bad, I just want to find a nice guy. I don’t know.”

Her already buzzed gaze moves somewhere over your shoulder, “Oh whoa, stop that thought. There’s a guy behind you that looks like he wants to bend you over right here. So,” she drags out, “How about we see how that goes and forget about Jeff, and nice for a while.”

She adjusts her own posture, subtly popping up her tits and tilting her chin down to offer him and enticing smile.

‘Jeff isn’t the problem,’ you think to yourself, but she’s already moving forward with her plan for your night. You toss back the shot she places in front of you and turn to check him out.

It’s not happening, even as tipsy as you currently are, this guy with the ironic mullet hovering next to you and trying to get handsy is not getting into your pants. You know it, Whitney knows it (even if she continues to flirt with his friend), hell - the people in the space station know it… but Mullet Guy is oblivious. It’s embarrassing. 

You sit there with your hands over half of your face, wishing he’d leave you alone, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Turning, you see a familiar pretty face surrounded by blonde hair.

“Do you need some help?” Michelle asks, eyeing the guy next to you.

You’re surprised she even recognized you, let alone approached you, but you’re desperate to take the help where you can get it. “Oh my god, yes.” 

She gives you a knowing grin, “You’ll find some of us in the corner booth in the back.”

“You sure?” you ask, still thrown off by the interaction and nearly stumbling off the bar stool. “What about Whitney?” 

“I’ll get her,” She gives you a little nudge. 

You slip past the guy hopelessly hitting on you, mumbling and hoping he doesn’t follow and head down the aisle alongside the bar until you reach the large, corner booth. A few faces look familiar, but when he looks up you consider turning back. Judging by his smirk, there’s no chance of that happening.

You raise your voice to be heard over the noise of the bar, “Um, Michelle sent me over,” your nerves turning it into a question rather than a statement.

Ransom raises an eyebrow like he’s about to ask a question, but nudges the people next to him to make them get up and make room for you.

“Oh, no that’s...I’ll just sit on the end.” You try to politely wave them off, but they’re already up.

“Come on in, sweetheart,” he invites you, arm thrown over the back of the seat and your heart beats double-time with just how much you want it wrapped around you. The two people who vacated their spots shift impatiently and you clumsily sit down and start to scoot over under your knee bumps into his, making you immediately stop and apologize.

“You here all alone?” he asks, swirling his drink, the ring on his pinky finger flashing in the light.

“Nah,” Michelle reappears and speaks up for you as she sets down a few glasses onto the table, “Whitney’s here, but she’s got some company. This lucky lady,” she points to you and continues with a light laugh in her voice, “Was just looking miserable with some idiot not taking a hint.”

“You should’ve just told him to fuck off.” Ransom says.

You look over the crowd, finding Mullet Guy waiting for you back at your seat. His eyes droopy from the liquor and Whitney swaying with his companion. 

“I know, I just don’t like doing that. Plus, uh, I think Whitney is trying to fuck his friend.”

“So leave her. She’s a big girl and can handle herself.”

After that he continues the conversation he was having with the others before you arrived, and once again, you sit there silently watching. 

If you can call anyone the leader in the group, it is Ransom. Watching the way the other guys at the table defer to him and how he responds to what they say makes it obvious. He knows it too, practically sitting here holding court at the big square booth. 

The conversation isn’t all that interesting, at least not to you. Some kind of pissing contest the guys are having involving some sports stats. Every now and again you hear them say something so blatantly wrong, but you don’t know them well enough to correct them. With the underhanded comments and passive aggressive insults, you can’t help but wonder if any of them are actually friends. Eventually, your attention wanders over the rest of the bar patrons.

“Am I keeping you from something?” Ransom startles you with how close he is, body still but eyes roaming. You suck in a deep breath, smelling the alcohol and his cologne which makes your mouth water.

“N-no, sorry,” you struggle to come up with an excuse for zoning out, “Just looking for Whitney.”

He tips his head, “She’s right where you left her.” You follow his line of sight, finding her easily. 

“Oh. Yeah.” 

The way his face goes impassive unsettles you, like it was the wrong answer. “We’re boring you. That’s alright. Let’s talk about you.”

“Not much that you’d be interested in, I think.” Whitney’s assertion that you’re not his type replays in your head

“I don’t know about that. I have a lot of interests.” He stares at you with this look on his face, like he’s listening to something funny, but his eyes are serious. It’s intimidating when combined with the way he’s lounged so comfortably next to you, taking up the space like he owns it and yours. His tone, and the little tickle from his fingers against your shoulder feels like flirting, and now your inner voice begs you to remember how to fucking flirt. ‘For the love of god, shake off the nerves and flirt with this gorgeous creature.’ You take a deep breath and try to sink into it.

“What do you want to know?” You ask, setting your elbow on the table and propping your face on your palm while you turn even further toward him.

One side of his face lifts almost into a smile. He starts with a few basic questions, finding out you’re not from the city, how long you’ve been around. He ignores what you ask in return, continuing with his rapid-fire questioning.

“How do you know that little brat?” he asks with a tiny flick in the direction of the bar.

“Whitney?” you chuckle and he nods, “Friend of a friend; she practically became attached at my hip once we started going out together.”

“A quiet little mouse like you and her? Really?”

“I promise you, I’m not always so quiet,” you challenge.

“See, now that is interesting. Think I’d like to see that,” he answers, eyes giving you a quick up-down in your seat.

In the seconds it takes for you to process that he is indeed flirting and you need to respond, the moment is broken by a high-pitched voice.

“There you are! You fucking ditched me.” Whitney practically howls at you. You feel like a child who got caught out after curfew as you see her eyes move between you and Ransom. “What’s happening here?”

The alcohol has settled enough to remove some of your tension. With that and her overdramatic reaction, trying to control the urge to giggle at being caught is impossible, so you bite down on your lips to keep the grin from your face. “Nothing,” you answer, poorly faking innocence.

Ransom’s eyes stay on you, you can feel it, but he talks to your friend, “We were just getting to know each other better.” He turns to look at her, “Sit down with us,” his tone almost sounding like an order.

“Getting to know each other?” she asks you pointedly. 

You can’t understand what her problem is with him, especially since he’s her friend. At this point, you’re too intrigued. It’s not like there’s any point in trying to deny that you’re attracted to him with half your body leaning into him like he’s a magnet, but for some reason you think you see real disappointment in her eyes. Biting your lip, you take a peek at him to find him waiting for your response; he’s already smug with the attention.

“Yeah.” 

“What about your break?” she spits out.

You feel too many people looking at you, but you can’t answer, too shocked that she’s put you on the spot like this.

“Remember?” she asks like you’re forgetful, “You’re taking a break because you’re looking for a nice guy.” She over-enunciates as she stares daggers at Ransom.

“Why don’t you get the stick out of your ass, Whitney. I’ve been nice all night, haven’t I sweetheart?” The hostility between the two makes your back go rigid, anxious for the moment to end and the spotlight to be directed anywhere else.

“I’m fine,” you tell her as firmly as you can.

She shakes her head at you, but sits down anyway, jumping right into flirty conversation with Eric who is sitting at the end of the booth, notably there without the girl from the other weekend.

“Hmm,” Ransom hums right against your ear, making your skin tingle. “I think someone just got in trouble.” He’s clearly amused and not sounding remorseful at all.

He makes a move then. It’s slight, but you feel him tuck you a little further under his arm. Part of you is glad Whitney is distracted, but the other part wants her to notice it and realize she might be wrong.

“I…yeah,” you stumble over your words, confused and flustered between the two of them. Chest tight and pulling in short breaths and stomach swooping with excitement, you internally scream, begging for him to make it worth it.

[knockknockchicagopd]

A SERIE WITH HANK VOIGHT. CHAPTER I.

❚❙ WORDS: about 1.3k

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that it makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted. — The parts of this writing in italic are situations in the past.

❚❙ GIF credits: to my wonderful @sonsofeorl .

❚❙ Tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx. If you want to be added to my tag list, send me a message.

“OFFICER SHOT! Repeat, we have an officer shot! I need an ambulance and backup in Hyde Park boulevard with Kenwood avenue!”

Your eyes are lost somewhere over the gleaming tiles, sitting on the floor with your back against the white wall and your legs curled to your chest. With your arms resting on your knees, you're putting away your shaky hands covered in your partner's blood from your view field. It has been almost forty five minutes since you arrived at the hospital, holding her hand from the ambulance to the inside of the surgery.

“Stay with me Lucy, please… Don't close your eyes… Look at me… Look at me, please”.

You couldn't barely breathe, pressing your hands over her chest, trying to stop the wound from bleeding. The bullet trespassed her vest, you didn't even see that guy coming. When you heard the shot, it was too late to push her away.

Three years patrolling the 21st District. Three years living together. Three years of memories that, now, are being played like an old black and white movie in front of your crystal eyes. You can't even think about catching her killer, trying to assimilate that you are not going to hear her voice anymore; nor to spend your free nights watching movies at home or drinking beers at Molly's, nor to complain about the senior cops who always ask you for coffee as if you were their secretaries.

“Lis—Listen… I will let you wear my red dress, okay? But you have to be strong… please… I can't lose you, Lucy. You are my family”.

She closed her eyes when your hand loose hers, coming into the surgery. Will stopped you at the entrance putting his hands on your shoulders.

“We'll do our best, I promise”.

But the bullet punctured an artery close to her heart and no one in the hospital could do anything for her life.

You don't even hear the heavy and fast strides coming closer to you. You only notice his presence, when he cups your wet cheeks between his palms. The contrast of his cold hands touching your warm skin makes you shudder, causing you to break into a bitter cry again uncontrollably. Hank embraces you tightly, helping you to stand up over the black military boots, guiding you to the closest bathroom.

Putting your hands under the tap as the water starts to run, he washes off the dry blood of Lucy, after pressing her chest until the sanitary came. Your eyelids are strongly closed, barely breathing and feeling your life escaping away from you with every tear shed. And you only open them again when he speaks.

“Look at me, sweetheart… We will find him, you hear me? And I, personally, will make him pay”.

His hands land on both sides of your neck, using his thumbs to lift up your face, urging you to look at him. You believe in his words. Of course you do. You do trust him with your life. Briefly nodding, Hank wraps your waist and your back with both arms, to hug you trying to comfort you somehow.

You have been sitting now in the locker room for almost thirty minutes, finding yourself anxiously breathing when you hear some knocks on the door. Cleaning your tears with the back of your trembling fingers, you take a deep breath still assimilating what has happened two hour ago. Licking your lips and withdrawing the salty taste of your tears impregnated on, you stand over your feet to grab your backpack and step outside. As soon as you reach the hall of the police station, everyone there becomes quiet. Every pair of eyes laid on you, leaving your badge and your service gun over the desk.

Platt doesn't know what to say, being aware that I'm sorry doesn't fix anything. She has decided to give you some days off to rest, but the real reason is that you aren't allowed to be part of this investigation.

“I know it's too soon, but do you think you can give us your testim—”.

“Not now!”

The hoarse and angry voice appearing from the stairs at your right earns all the attention. Voight is walking straight to you, taking your bag from your hand to place his free arm on your shoulder. If looks could kill, Platt would be already dead.

“Let's go for a ride, hm?”

Your eyes continue glued to your badge being grabbed by the inspector, to keep it under the desk. Your chin moves from the top down in a soft nod, letting him turn you around to come out from the police station to the private parking. His SUV is stationed close to the fence, opening the copilot seat door for you before going to the truck to keep your stuff, Hank hurry up on abandoning the place. You can't be there. You don't need it.

At first, he thinks about taking you to your house, but seeing you so broken he knows that you shouldn't be alone. Lucy was all your family, since your parents moved to Arizona; everything you had is your job and your friends. The man doesn't ask you, thinking that the best is to bring you to a quiet place. The loading bay. Where he goes after a hard day to clear his mind. Hank needs your testimony to catch the murder, but he needs you first to be focused, to be calmed.

Stepping out from the car, after turning off the engine, you follow him by inertia. Raising your eyes from your feet, the imposing city of Chicago stands in front of you. Red, blue and white small lights all around the jungle of buildings, captivating you instantly.

“(Y/N)...”

“I told her that I was hungry… I didn't take anything for lunch and we were close to Brandon's pizzeria… I… I made her stop… It was my fa—fault”.

The tears fill up again your reddened eyes. The anxiety is oppressing your throat. The lack of air is suffocating you. Hank doesn't let you blame yourself, welcoming into his arms without hesitating.

“I need to know how he looked to catch him”. After some second in silence, with your face hidden into the crock of his neck, he has to continue the talk.

Pulling yourself away, making the biggest effort of your whole life, you nod in the meantime that he cleans your cheek using his fingers.

“He came from… nowhere. I don't know… I don't know if he was… wa—waiting inside a shop, or… if he crossed the road. I don't know… He was wearing a black hoodie… and, uh… a pair of worn jeans. Blue… That kind of blue only Levis produces. And a… A pair of sneakers. Nike Air Force One. They were too clean, too white, too shiny to have more than… one month. Maybe a couple of weeks”.

You're trying to give him the most minimal detail, so it could help him to trap him sooner.

“His face was co—covered by a bandana. Black. But… But it had some white ornaments… I don't remember them. He was far away and they were too small… I'm so—I'm sorry, Hank… I don't remem—”.

“It's okay, it's okay, sweetheart. You have given me more than I could find myself”. His encouraging words make you feel somewhat better. “I will call Antonio to tell him, so they can start to work”.

You're sure that now he has your testimony, he will take you to your house. But you can't. You don't want to go. You don't want to be alone. Stopping him by grabbing his forearm covered by the leather jacket, you close your fingers tightly around it.

“I don't wanna go home”. You whisper with a fine thread of trembling voice.

Coming back on his tracks, Hank places his free hand on your nape to lean forward and press his lips on your forehead. Two long seconds that feels like an eternity.

“I got you, (Y/N)”.

[saylors-universe]

All Hands on Deck, three

Rowaelin cruise trip AU

Masterlist here

word count: 5794

[Warning: explicatory language, references to sex]

[This is an interactive story! I will include Authorʻs Notes throughout the chapters to inform you when to start a particular song that you can find here in the All Hands on Deck playlist (Also can be found on the masterlist). For the best experience, listen with headphones, AND FOLLOW ALONG WITH THE STORY. Please try to use your imagination when listening and reading - live through the words. Have fun :) - Saylor]

-

DAY 2 - AT SEA - “Ping-Pong Competition from 12-3pm on the Sports Deck”

   Aelin wakes with a throbbing headache and a searing pain from the bright light seeping into the cabin from an unfamiliar, large window with an amazing view of the open ocean. Sheʻs never been good with hangovers but this one surely takes the cake of being the most painful. She reaches her arm across her bed, trying to find her phone to see how late it is, but her fingers get tangled in a messy mop of brown curls. Shit. Finally more awake and aware, she looks over to see a tanned, defined and toned back. Trying to assess more of the situation, she sits up and gazes around a large, more homey cabin, which she determined definitely was not hers. What the fuck did you do Aelin. She racks her brain, trying to compile a report of events from the previous night. 

   She recalls putting on her sexy, red party dress, which she located on the ground by the cabin door. She remembers drinking way too much, more than she normally allows herself. Why would I intentionally over do myself like that? Then like a brick to the head she remembers the reason, Rowan Whitethorn. Rowan had been there. Rowan was here. On this ship. In a band. What is he doing here? And what other poor decisions did she make last night in spite of his presence. Or on a more pressing note, who is this stranger lying next to her? She vaguely remembers a night of music, annoyingly loud shrieks, and many, many alcoholic beverages. She can recall dancing with Manon who replaced herself with a tan, attractive and very unfortunate bystander. A hazy memory resurfaces of her night dancing with this man, or to be more technical, dancing on him. She recalls passionate, drunk kisses, and a long make out session on the trip to his room behind the shipʻs bridge (command center). Brief moments of ecstasy and pleasure from the night with this stranger flash through her mind.

   Connecting the dots, she slowly slips out of the bed and looks around, and gathers her shoes and phone. She picks up her dress on the floor and slips into it in a much easier and faster manner than she had the previous night. She spots her key card under the bed, on the side of her one-night stand. As she reaches for it, he fusses and drearily opens his eyes. She quietly chokes as she really takes in the man. He was wildly attractive, his honey brown eyes matched his chestnut locks, now messy with bed head. 

“Hey you,” he greets, his voice heavy with sleep. His lips curl up in a mild grin, a grin that Aelin would have found completely adorable if she had known who he was and not been in this particular situation. 

“Hi.. um”

“Sam,” he offers.

“Hi, Sam. I, uh, I have to go meet my friends for breakfast, so uh, maybe Iʻll see you around, I donʻt know, Bye!” she spouts before rushing out the door. 

   After successfully making it to the elevators, she leans against the back wall and sighs deeply. She takes on the walk of shame, heels in hand, and travels down her hall suddenly feeling very small. She passes a family and a few other passengers and canʻt help having a paranoid feeling that everyone was staring at her. Making it to her room, she enters and is greeted by Manon, Lys, Aedion, and Elide all crowded in the room. Feeling their weighted gaze and curious looks she ignores them and face plants on her bed. 

“Fun night?” her cousin questions.

“Coffee first,” Aelin mumbles into her pillow. 

“Freshen up and weʻll go see if Emrys has any,” Elide advises. 

   Aelin mumbles something into the pillow that sounded like a defeated agreement. She reluctantly leaves the comfort of her bed and takes a much needed, warm shower, washing the residue of last night off. Once she felt clean and somewhat normal, she put on some comfortable grey sweatpants and a short, black cropped tank top. She styles her wet hair in a quick braid and reconvenes with her friends in the main cabin. The group makes the trip to the Lido deck and find some empty seats at the food bar. 

“Just in time my friends, we were just about to close up the omelette station,” the cheerful Emrys addresses the group. Luca goes through each person, jotting down their orders and finally gets to Aelin.

“Whatʻll it be milady?” the young chef asks. 

“Just coffee please, thanks Luca”

“You got it,” he returns with the coffee pot in hand, filling up the mug he placed in front of her. She pours a concerning amount of sugar into her coffee and when sheʻs satisfied she takes a few sips. A dirty moan escapes her mouth, finally extinguishing her hungover pains, the rest of her party, including Emrys and Luca just stare at her in question.

“What,” she asks innocently, “this is really good coffee,” she defends.

Aedion lifts his brow in questioning, “so what happened to you last night?”

The whole group stares her down in interrogation. She breaks under the pressure, “Really itʻs Manonʻs fault, she told me to go out and have a one-night stand,” she was aware that Aedion informed Lysandra about her breakup with Chaol, Manon probably spilled to Elide, “plus seeing Rowan last night was a shock, so I donʻt know okay, I freaked out, and I got drunk, and I slept with someone, okay? there it is.”

   After a few seconds of silence everyone bursts out laughing, one after another. Lysandra wipes her eyes, wet from crying with laughter.

“Finally,” she laughs again, “geez Aelin you were so wound up, we were all praying for you to get laid, we were just worried you got so wasted that you passed out and fell overboard or something.”

“So whoʻs the lucky guy?” Elide pries.

“I donʻt know, he said his name was Sam?”

“Sam Cortland?” Emrys interrupts, listening to the tea.

“I donʻt know, we didnʻt get to a last name basis, I donʻt even think he knows my name.”

“Brown hair, brown eyes, tanned, muscular, about ye high,” he puts his hand about six inches above his head.

“Yeah sounds about right”

Emrys and Luca share a look with each other and then break out in more laughs, nearly dropping to the floor in continuous giggles and labored breathing.

“My dear, you spent the night with THE Sam Cortland, a co-captain of the Ellywe Voyager,” Emrys finally reveals after calming down from his laughter high.

Her face goes pale, draining of all color, processing what she had done. 

“I slept with the fucking captain!,” she said a little too loud for nearby ears.

“One of them, Iʻm pretty sure he wasnʻt on call last night”

Everyone immediately falls into fits of laughter once again, which she did not find amusing or hilarious at all. Manon, who almost never shows emotions, could not contain her tears of laughter, nearly dying of her questionable cackling. Aelin zeroes in on her, brows furrowed, eyes glaring in a manner that would have terrified anyone else, but not Manon.

“Iʻm going to kill you.”

“Iʻd like to see you try babes,” Manon snickers even more.

As the rest of them finish up their breakfast Elide asks if they want to head to the music room and practice for tonightʻs show, and then if they have some time, hit the pool before their performance. They agree with the plan and get up to leave.

“Iʻll be there soon, I need to finish my coffee and process my existence for a little while longer,” Aelin jokes, just needing some time to collect her thoughts.

Noting her tone, Aedion hangs back for a couple seconds, “your not still sad about Chaol are you?”

“Oh god, Chaol. I forgot about that,” she did, she had successfully forgotten about him and their breakup. She had forgotten the pain he had caused her, it was replaced by confusion and emptiness, that was temporarily healed last night. “Iʻm good, really Aedion, I feel much better.”

“Youʻre sure?”

She nods and then hugs her protective cousin. He shuffles off and catches up with their friends, abandoning Aelin in Emrys and Lucaʻs warm company.

“So the captain huh..” Luca makes conversation.

“Ugh,” she cries and drops her head into her hands, which causes Luca to chuckle a little more as he wipes down the counters and continues cleaning up from their breakfast mess. He gathers the dishes and takes them to the back to wash with Emrys, leaving Aelin to her coffee and thoughts.

“Hey stranger,” a deep, firm voice called behind her.

Gods, oh gods no. She turns expecting to see the captain she had spent the night with but no, whatever higher powers there was, they definitely had a bone to pick with her. Instead of the brown eyed brunette acquaintance,  a tall, muscular and tanned man with flowy, silver locks and piercing, pine green eyes stood with a familiar, soft smile and dimple creasing his cheek. 

“Rowan,” she said sounding surprised, “Hi.” She offered him a hug that not only felt unnatural, but extremely awkward and he takes a seat at the bar stool next to her.

“I canʻt believe itʻs really you. Wow, how long has it been, what eight, nine years?” She knew exactly how long itʻs been; eight years, six months, and ten days since her heart was shattered and since they had last laid eyes on each other. She shouldn't know how long itʻs been but she did.

“Um yeah something like that,” he knew just as long as well, all the way down to the hour, but heʻd never tell her that, “I thought that was you I saw last night, you look... really great Aelin,” understatement of the century, he thought to himself. 

Her body betrays her and a soft, rosy blush appears on her cheeks.

“Thanks, you look great too,” ʻYou look great?ʻ you idiot, he looks so good, like sex personified, her eyes may have spent a little too long lingering his body when assessing him again.

“What are you doing here?” they both ask at the same time, then laughed.

“Iʻm in the band, playing for the cruise,” Rowan starts.

“Me too,” Aelin stammers, “well in the other one I guess.”

“Youʻre in Elideʻs band?”

“Mhm,” she nods, taking another sip of her now cold coffee, “youʻre in Lorcanʻs?”

“Yeah. Wow, small world.”

“Iʻll say,” then she chuckles, “you guyʻs were amazing last night,” she adds.

“Thanks, I hear you guys perform tonight, right? Iʻm looking forward to it”

“Yeah, speaking of that, I better head to practice, theyʻre expecting me,” she swiftly downs the rest of her coffee, yells to Emrys and Luca in the back thanking them for breakfast, then turns back to Rowan, “it was good seeing you.”

“Yeah, you too,” he lifts his arm, hand resting behind his neck, “Could I possibly see you again, sometime?” he asks, not realizing how the question would affect her.

“Maybe,” she promises and then flees off to the Promenade level, where Elide had informed her the music room was. She passes through the beautiful ballroom with the lonely grand piano, just begging to be played.

   After a few wrong turns, she makes it to the music room where her bandmates are nearly finished setting up. “I just ran into Rowan,” she confesses, struggling to slow her racing heart and short breaths. 

“You okay?” Elide comforts, swearing she had no idea her Rowan Whitethorn was the Rowan apart of Lorcanʻs band. 

“Yeah I think Iʻve just experienced enough shock and bad decisions for a lifetime,” she takes a few deep breaths and calms herself, “have you guys decided on the set for tonight?”

Lysandra answers, “we think so, we really want to show the guys up and go big tonight you know? So how about we open with Rooftop, go into All Stars, and ...” she plans their set and the rest of the girls agree, stoked for the energetic and fun show ahead. They prepare their instruments, Aelin with her bass, Elide and Lys with their guitars and Lys also on the keyboard, lastly Manon on drums and sound board. Queenʻs Court started as a rock alternative band but they learned other styles and adapted pop, and edm as well and incorporated the different styles within their writing. They played a few clean run throughs and felt satisfied for the show later that night. After practice they packed up their instruments and notified the staff they were ready to have their gear brought to the stage and set up, which they took care of.

---------------------------------------------------

NIGHT 2 - AT SEA - “Come check out the ʻQueenʻs Courtʻ Live on the Sky Deck at 7pm”

   Finishing their practice earlier than expected, the girls decided to return to their rooms and change into their swimsuits to dip in the pool before their show. Elide alerts everyone that she invited Lorcan so there would be a possibility of his friends joining, an addition Aelin didn't completely object too. She told herself that seeing Rowan again wouldn't be the worst thing, plus if the two bands were going to be sharing stage time, they might as well get to know each other.

   With the extra audience in mind, Aelin picks out her most flattering, vibrant green bikini that showed off her sculpted, sexy figure, not leaving much to imagination. Manon chose a pretty, black bandeau top and matching bikini bottoms. Aelin puts on a white, mesh bathing suit cover up mini-dress that only showed off the bikini more, and Manon a deep red, mesh skirt, tying the black and red ensemble together. Together they recite their self confidence mantra: I am Hot. I am Sexy. I am Badass. I am That Bitch. and they grab their keycards and head up to the pool to meet their friends.

   They run into Lysandra and Aedion on their way out and traveled to the Lido deck together. Sure enough, The Cadre had decided to join the Queenʻs Court on their little pool get together. The men she recalled from the show last night had already been in the pool, swimming and fooling around, when they had reached the deck. They had been the only people on the deck, everyone seemed to have been at dinner, a perk the bands have not taken advantage of yet. Lorcan and Elide who stayed in their corner of the pool, were the first to greet them. An unfairly attractive, shirtless and sculpted man with beautiful golden hair hops out of the pool and greets the newcomers.

“Ladies,” he acknowledges as he grabs his towel off an occupied sun tanning chair. “And bro,” he shakes Aedionʻs hand who takes it firmly.

“Please, call me Aedion.”

 “You got it, Iʻm Fenrys, and thatʻs Connal,” he points to the dark brunette man laying on the nearby tanning chair with his towel, who looks nearly identical to him, besides the hair. “And you beautiful ladies are?” They each go around introducing each other. After getting acquainted, Aelin looks at the pool and gasps at the sight of a shirtless, wet Rowan exiting the pool, water dripping down his muscular figure and defined abs and chest. 

“Rowan,” he introduces, “how you doing?”

Lysandra leans in to Aelin and whispers near her ear, “ Oh. My. Gods.”

Aelin wacks her arm, as if defending herself from being caught, and Lysandra just giggles and grabs Aedion to get in the pool. Rowan grabs his phone and syncs up with the pool deck speakers nearby and starts a playlist.

[A.N.] You can play “Temple” by Preston Hutto now if you want. I will not be following along with the lyrics, Rowan just plays this song and sets the vibe for their afternoon. Find playlist here.

   They managed to make it to the pool just in time for sunset. The entire sky lights up with beautiful hues of orange and pink. Manon and Aelin take base at the deck railing, watching the mesmerizing natural art. The activities director, Dorian, walks by, making last minute checks for the show.

“Hey you guys, beautiful isnʻt it,” he startles the two, taking their attention from the sky.

“Dorian, hi,” Manon says, a little higher than she normally talks.

   Understanding that they have already been acquainted, Aelin reaches out a hand for him to shake and introduces herself. She notices the two starting to hit it off, talking about some time they shared the previous night, and she takes the hint and excuses herself.

   She takes off her mesh cover dress, leaving it with her friendsʻ towels and belongings on a sun-tanning deck chair and struts to the pool, taking a seat on the pools edge and dips in her feet. Before too long, Rowan approaches, taking his place seated next to her.

“Hey you,” “Hey yourself,”

   As if no time had passed, the two click once again and try to catch up as best they could, starting with their band stories and recent events. Rowan, who was more private with his business than most, always felt completely comfortable and vulnerable with Aelin, exposing his deepest, darkest thoughts and feelings. He shares with her his past, his experience dropping out of college and instead finding work in construction, where he reconnected with Lorcan and met Fenrys and Connal. He shares about his relationship with Lyria, how he was preparing to propose, when they had irresponsibly gotten into a severe car crash and she passed away. He admits to falling off the deep end, in a wave of depression and rage, a place Lorcan and his two other bandmates pulled him out of. He revealed how their music saved him and brought him out of a miserable, guilt-ridden existence. 

   As instinct, she lays a hand on his bicep and makes soft vertical motions, soothing and comforting him. She takes her turn, sharing how they organically came together through their roommates, one day discovering that they each were musically gifted and decided to combine their talents. She tells about her discovery her cheating ex boyfriend and her late night fiasco with the shipʻs captain. Rowan laughs about the captain situation but Aelin could see through the mask, and noticed a hint of displeasure. She takes a turn sharing her deep rooted feelings, feelings that she had not fully shown her friends. She shares how she had been feeling broken and empty in recent months after losing her parents to illness, she shares a similar story of how writing music had helped her deal with her feelings.

   Moving into the pool, where each couple held their own corner, Aelin and Rowan continued to share their stories, many of which were embarrassing, and got the other to laugh hysterically. What felt like no time at all, had actually been forever. Elide pointed out that they lost track of time, and had to be on stage in five minutes. The girls assembled and decided to just perform in their swimsuits, agreeing that it was just as provocative as what they probably would have prepared. 

After somewhat drying off, The Cadre boys + Dorian escort the Queenʻs Court girls + Aedion up to the Sky deck and backstage. 

...

“Donʻt set the bar too high, alright ladies, we guys still have to make a living somehow,” Fenrys teases. 

   Rowan takes his chance and pulls Aelin aside. “Break a leg out there,” he cheers for her. She just returns his wink from the former night, and he quite literally feels his heart skip a beat. 

   The shirtless, still mildly soaked, men find their place in the large audience, towering over many of the nearby fan girls who canʻt help but stare and gawk at them. While their attention was on them, his attention was solely on the blonde beauty in a green bikini. The beautiful women take the stage. The crowd roars and Rowan can feel the already wild energy from the group and itʻs fans. 

He watches like a hawk, as Aelin grabs the front microphone.

“Ellywe how are we feeling tonight,” the audience matches with loud screams and cheers, “really? thatʻs it? come on, I know you guys can get louder than that,” she baits the crowd. They accept the challenge and grow exponentially in volume. “Now thatʻs what I like to hear, Ellywe are you guys ready to party?” He thought it impossible, yet the audience got even louder in their joyful praises. “What do you think girls? I say we show Ellywe Voyager how we party in the Queenʻs Court,” more gleeful shrieks.

[A.N.] Play “Rooftop” by Skylar Stecker now, follow along, and let your imagination take you there. Find the playlist here.

   -   The house lights shine vibrant blues and reds all over the stage.   -

Manon (soundboard): BUM-DID-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

Aelin:       YE-AH!

   -   The crowd immediately matches the beat and starts dancing  -

Manon:   BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DAD-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM

Aelin:   YOU KNOW IʻM THROWINʻ IT UP          [HEY!]

          TO ALL MY GIRLS IN THE CITY             [WOO!]

          AND IF YOU ROLLINʻ WITH US          [HEY!]

          IT AINʻT GONNA BE PRETTY             [WOO!]

          WE ALWAYS KEEP IT ONE HUNDRED, HUNDRED          [HEY!]

              NO, WE NEVER GO ʻFITY             [WOO!]

            AND WE BE SHUTTINʻ IT DOWN          [HEY!]

              SO WHO COMINʻ WITH ME

       OH, SOMEONE KEEPINʻ IT LOUD

       LIVINʻ RIGHT HERE AND NOW

       AND IF YOU DONʻT KNOW, NOW, WHAT IʻM TALKINʻ ABOUT

     SAY, “OOOOOOOO-OOO-OOO-OO-OOO-OOOOOOOH”

       WE GONNA SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

     ʻCAUSE WE WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

       SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

       IF YOU READY, COME ON, HERE WE GO

    SHOUT IT OUT WITH MEEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

    THIS IS HOW ITʻS GOINʻ BEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

   WE GET IT GOINʻ LIKE, “BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM

BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM”

           COME ON AND GET IT THE ZONE          [HEY!]

            WHY ARE YOU WAITINʻ?             [WOO!]

           AND IF YOU WANNA GO HOME          [HEY!]

            YOU BETTA WATCH WHAT YOU SAYINʻ             [WOO!]

           ʻCAUSE WE ONLY GONNA TURN THINGS UP, NOW          [HEY!]

            WEʻRE NEVER FADINʻ             [WOO!]

            AND IF YOU WANNA GET DOWN          [HEY!]

           IT AINʻT COMPLICATED

           AAYE-AAYE

        OH, SOMEONE KEEPINʻ IT LOUD

          LIVINʻ RIGHT HERE AND NOW

          AND IF YOU DONʻT KNOW, NOW, WHAT IʻM TALKINʻ ABOUT

         SAY, “OOOOOOOO-OOO-OOO-OO-OOO-OOOOOOOH”

          WE GONNA SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

        ʻCAUSE WE WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

      SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

      IF YOU READY, COME ON, HERE WE GO

   SHOUT IT OUT WITH MEEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

   THIS IS HOW ITʻS GOINʻ BEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

  WE GET IT GOINʻ LIKE, “BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM

BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM”

          UP ON THE ROOF WHERE THE PARTY HOT

          TURNINʻ IT UP ʻTIL WE MAKE IT ROCK

          TWO TURN TABLES AND WEʻLL NEVAʻ STOP

         UP ON THE ROOF WHERE THE PARTY HOT

         TURNINʻ IT UP ʻTIL WE MAKE IT ROCK

         TWO TURN TABLES AND WEʻLL NEVAʻ STOP

      OOOOOH-OOOOOH-OOOOOOOH-OOOOOOOOOH

     WE GONNA SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

    ʻCAUSE WE WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

      SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOP          [HEY!]

      IF YOU READY, COME ON, HERE WE GO

   SHOUT IT OUT WITH MEEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

   THIS IS HOW ITʻS GOINʻ BEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA-EEE-EEE-EEEA

  WE GET IT GOINʻ LIKE, “BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM

BUM-DED-DE-DUM-DID-DE-DUM-DA-DUM

BUM-DE-DI-DUM-DA-DE-DUM-BUM-MI-DID-DUM-BUDDA-DUM-DUMD-D-D-D-D-DUM”

   -   The crowd goes crazy and Rowan looks over to see Fenrys in complete awe, “I have never been so turned on,” he says which warrants a strong punch to the arm  -

[A.N.] Start “All Stars” by Martin Solveig and Alma now, follow along, and let your imagination work. Find playlist here.

  -  Elide opens and Rowan can feel Lorcanʻs beaming pride for his fiance  -

Elide:      [T-TURN ON]

             WE ALL STARS, WE ARE ONE

             WE LIGHT UP THE NIGHT LIKE A BLACK SUN

              WE ALL SHINE, WE ARE CHROME

              AND WE ARE SHIMMERING

              TURN ON, TURN ON               [T-TURN ON]

      - Aelin enters with the bass, and Rowan canʻt help but gawk in admiration, thoroughly impressed and blown away by her.     -

Elide:          PLAY IT LOUD, WE DONʻT CARE

                   AND DANCE LIKE THEREʻS NOBODY THERE

                   LIGHT UP THE NIGHT, YEAH

                  LIGHT IT UP EVERY NIGHT

                   ʻCAUSE WE ARE SHIMMERING

                   TURN ON, TURN ON.        [T-TURN ON]

                    WE ALL STARS, WE ARE ONE

                    WE LIGHT UP THE NIGHT LIKE A BLACK SUN

                   WE ALL SHINE, WE ARE CHROME

                   AND WE ARE SHIMMERING 

                    COME ON, COME ON, YʻALL

   - The entire audience jumps in unison with the beat, itʻs a miracle the ship doesn't break and sink by the sheer force of everyones matter bouncing in sync. -

Elide:                   WE ALL STARS, WE ARE ONE

                       WE LIGHT UP THE NIGHT LIKE A BLACK SUN

                       WE ALL SHINE, WE ARE CHROME

                       AND WE ARE SHIMMERING

                      TURN ON, TURN ON.        [T-TURN ON]

                      WE KISS AND WE DONʻT TELL

                      SPIN LIKE A CAROUSEL

                      DONʻT LIKE IT? GO TO HELL

 Manon:               THIS IS OUR FAVORITE SONG

Elide:              LIGHTS ON EVERYBODY

                      WE PARTY LEGENDARY

                        HIGH ON SOUR AND FURY

                          TURN ON NOW

                       CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON 

                      CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON 

                      CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON 

   -    The beat rises in anticipation, preparing the audience to go ape shit.  -

Aelin:      “Ellywe I better see you fucking dance!”

Elide:              CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON 

    -   The crowd did not hold back, including Rowan and The Cadre. Everyone in the audience jumped and danced in a euphoric high, completely enraptured by the Queenʻs Court.   -

Elide:               WE ALL STARS, WE ARE ONE

                        CALLING ALL STARS. [STARS]

                        CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON

                      WE ALL SHINE, WE ARE CHROME

                      AND WE ARE SHIMMERING

                     TURN ON, TURN ON.        [T-TURN ON]

                     CALLING ALL STARS, COME ON

-   Their fans go absolutely feral, shouting with pleasure and cheering “Queenʻs Court, Queenʻs Court, Queenʻs Court!” Rowans sole focus takes the heart of the stage again and he canʻt quite explain what his body does in sight of her in her element, and in that green bikini.   -

[A.N.] Start “We Found Love” by Rihanna (feat. Calvin Harris) now, follow along, and live in the moment. Find playlist here.

 -   The music stars and the passengers on deck praise the idols on stage.   -

Aelin:           YELLOW DIAMONDS IN THE LIGHT

                     HOW WEʻRE STANDINʻ SIDE BY SIDE

                     AS YOUR SHADOW CROSSES MINE

                    WHAT IT TAKES TO COME ALIVE

                    ITʻS THE WAY IʻM FEELIN

                    I JUST CANʻT DENY

                   BUT IʻVE GOTTA LET IT GO

                    WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                    WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                    WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                   WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

  -  The beat rises again and just as the beat is about to drop Aelin screams, “Everybody fucking jump!” and they all obey, dancing together with the music. Rowan catches her attention and shares a quick wink again. She smiles, kisses her hand and blows him a kiss, a kiss he catches, brings to his heart and playfully falls back like heʻs been shot by cupidʻs bow.  -

Aelin:          SHINE A LIGHT THROUGH AN OPEN DOOR

                   NOT THE LIFE I WILL DIVIDE

                   TURN AWAY ʻCAUSE I NEED YOU MORE

                   FEEL THE HEARTBEAT IN MY MIND

-  Aelin plays with her hair and runs her hands over her body, an action that not only excites many in the crowd, but also does not go unnoticed by a silver haired, shirtless man in another band. Her gesture makes Rowan feel dirty, animalistic ways.   -

                   ITʻS THE WAY IʻM FEELIN

                   I JUST CANʻT DENY

                  BUT IʻVE GOTTA LET IT GO

                   WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                   WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                   WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                  WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

 -  The world slows around them and for a few brief moments, it is just Aelin and Rowan, eyes locked, souls conversing.    -

Aelin:         YELLOW DIAMONDS IN THE LIGHT                   

                 HOW WEʻRE STANDINʻ SIDE BY SIDE                 

                  AS YOUR SHADOW CROSSES MINE

                  WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                  WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                  WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                 WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

-     The beat builds, the energy growing stronger and wilder, the beat drops and the whole ship bobs with the sheer force of everyones dancing.

Aelin:           WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                    WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                     WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

                    WE FOUND LOVE IN A HOPELESS PLACE

  -   The audience yell cries of joy.    -

[A.N.] Start “Canʻt Remember to Forget You” by Shakira and Rihanna now, follow along, and live it! Find playlist here.

Lysandra:       I LEFT A NOTE ON MY BEDPOST

                       SAID NOT TO REPEAT YESTERDAYʻS MISTAKES

                      WHAT I TEND TO DO WHEN IT COMES TO YOU

                       I SEE ONLY THE GOOD, SELECTIVE MEMORY

                      THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL, YEAH

                      YOU GOT A HOLD ON ME

                      I NEVER MET SOMEONE SO DIFFERENT

                     OH, HERE WE GO

                    YOUʻRE PART OF ME NOW, YOUʻRE PART OF ME

                    SO WHERE YOU GO, I FOLLOW, FOLLOW, FOLLOW

                    OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

                    I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

                   OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

                   I KEEP FORGETTING I SHOULD LET YOU GO

                   BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

                   THE ONLY MEMORY IS US KISSING IN THE MOONLIGHT

                   OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

                    I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

                    I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

Aelin:          I GO BACK AGAIN, FALL OFF THE TRAIN

                    LAND IN HIS BED, REPEAT YESTERDAYʻS MISTAKES

                    WHAT IʻM TRYING TO SAY, IS NOT TO FORGET

                    YOU SEE ONLY THE GOOD, SELECTIVE MEMORY

                    THE WAY HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE

                    THE WAY HE MAKES ME FEEL 

                    I NEVER SEEMED TO ACT TO STUPID

                    OH, HERE WE GO

                    HE A PART OF ME NOW, HE A PART OF ME

Lyssandra:     SO WHERE HE GOES, I [+Aelin] FOLLOW, FOLLOW, FOLLOW

                   OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

Aelin:          I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

                  OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

Lysandra:     I KEEP FORGETTING I SHOULD LET YOU GO

Aelin:         BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

                  THE ONLY MEMORY IS US KISSING IN THE MOONLIGHT

                  OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH

Lysandra:     I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

                  I ROB AND I KILL TO KEEP HIM WITH ME

                  I DO ANYTHING FOR THAT BOY

                  IʻD GIVE MY LAST DIME TO HOLD HIM TONIGHT

                  IʻD DO ANYTHING FOR THAT BOY

Aelin:         I ROB AND I KILL TO KEEP HIM WITH ME

                 I DO ANYTHING FOR THAT BOY

                 IʻD GIVE MY LAST DIME TO HOLD HIM TONIGHT

                 IʻD DO ANYTHING FOR THAT BOY

                   [OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH]

Aelin:         I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

                  [OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH]

Lysandra:    I KEEP FORGETTING I SHOULD LET YOU GO

                  BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

                 THE ONLY MEMORY IS US KISSING IN THE MOONLIGHT

                  [OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH]

                 I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

Aelin:           BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME

                THE ONLY MEMORY IS US KISSING IN THE MOONLIGHT

                 [OH-OOH-OH-OH,OH-OOH-OH-OH]

Lysandra:   I CANʻT REMEMBER TO FORGET YOU

-   The crowd cheers and applauds.   -

Aelin:   “ Thank you so much Ellywe for having us! We are so stoked to be here. This last one is called Vacation, letʻs go out with a bang, WE LOVE YOU, Goodnight!”

[A.N.] Start “Vacation” by G.R.L. now, follow along, and yea you know what to do. Find playlist here.

Aelin:      WAS CRYING ALL NIGHT, I SLEPT UNTIL NOON

               I JUST WANNA LIE, MY LIVING ROOM

Elide:        I KNOW IN MY HEART THAT YOUʻRE NOT THE ONE

                 SO IʻLL JUST STAY HOME, WATCH VH1

Aelin:         MY GIRLFRIENDS KNOW WHAT TO DO

                  THEY KNOW WHAT TO SAY   

                  [Queenʻs Court : O-OH]

                  MY GIRLFRIENDS TO THE RESCUE

                  COME TAKE ME AWAY

Queenʻs Court:     IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                             IʻM GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND

                             IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                            IʻM GONNA LOSE MY MIND

                           WITH SOMEONE NEW, NEW

                           WITH SOMEONE NEW, NEW

                            WITH SOMEONE

Lysandra:       I SIT IN THE FRONT, ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS

                      WHEN OUR SONG COMES ON THE RADIO

Manon:       I WONʻT FALL APART, I WONʻT SELF-DESTRUCT

                  NO IʻLL JUST REACH OUT AND TURN IT UP

Aelin:        MY GIRLFRIENDS KNOW WHAT TO DO

                  THEY KNOW WHAT TO SAY  

                    [Queenʻs Court : O-OH]

                    MY GIRLFRIENDS TO THE RESCUE

                   COME TAKE ME AWAY

Queenʻs Court:     IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                           IʻM GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND

                            IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                            IʻM GONNA LOSE MY MIND

                            WITH SOMEONE NEW, NEW

                            WITH SOMEONE NEW, NEW

                             WITH SOMEONE

-  the music settles letting everyone reminisce and bask in the energy .  -

Aelin:            YEAH

            LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA.         

Manon:    [girls letʻs go]

Elide:     MY GIRLFRIENDS KNOW WHAT TO DO

              THEY KNOW WHAT TO SAY     [O-OH]

Lysandra:       MY GIRLFRIENDS TO THE RESCUE

                         COME TAKE ME AWAY

Queenʻs Court:      IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT 

                                [ Aelin:    ʻCAYTION TONIGHT  ]

                             IʻM GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND

                                [ Aelin:     YOU BEHIND  ]

                             IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                            IʻM GONNA LOSE MY MIND

                  [ Aelin:   IʻM GONNA LOSE MY MIND. TONIGHT.  ]

                           IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                         IʻM GONNA LEAVE YOU BEHIND

                       [ Aelin:    LEAVE  YOU BEHIND.  ]

                         IʻM ON VACATION TONIGHT

                        IʻM GONNA LOSE MY MIND

                    WITH SOMEONE NEW, WITH SOMEONE NEW

                       WITH SOMEONE NEW, NEW

                         WITH SOMEONE NEW

- The night closes with loud praises and cheers from the wild audience. -

-

All Hands on Deck taglist:

@smalltddygothgf @booksbqueen @underworldboxers @live-the-fangirl-life @booknerdproblems​ @rowaelinismyotp​ 

[3pirouette]

Fic: The Honey Trap (3/?)

Title: The Honey Trap

By: TriplePirouette/3Pirouette

Disclaimer: They're not mine.

Distribution: AO3 Anyone else please ask first :) 

Story Summary: Peggy’d lost count. She wasn’t sure if she was a double or triple agent at this point, and in the end, it didn’t matter. What mattered was getting out of this alive.

A/N: While I'd hoped to keep up the updates every week, RL is not cooperating. I'm still going to update as often as I can, and the story's not abandoned. Just going to be a little slower than expected. This chapter is a direct continuation from the last.

~*~

Peggy was aghast.

She’d made a loop around the commissary, stopped at the supply tent, chatted with a nurse, all the while very carefully being very, very obvious that she’d been following Steve as he moved about camp. And she was absolutely not careful when she slipped into his tent in full view of half a platoon ten minutes ago.

Peggy sat next to him on his cot, quiet. Steve couldn’t help but fidget, turning the compass over and over in his hands. “I guess it’ll…”

“They’re morons, all of them.” Peggy said loudly and suddenly. She turned to Steve, eyes bright. “I never would have pegged them for that, but goodness. The lot of them!”

“What do you mean?” Steve pocketed the compass, turning to her.

“Well, had I known how easy it would be to slip into your tent without anyone raising the alarm I certainly would have done it before this.” She laughed and turned to him, playing with the collar of his shirt. “And I certainly would have done it quite often.”

A blush crept up his cheeks as his hands fluttered around her hips. “Peg, we shouldn’t…”

“Shouldn’t what?” She refused to be chastised and leaned forward to kiss him quickly. “In a matter of days, I’ll be back in London and you’ll be god knows where and we’re going to have to pretend this is all real. Who knows when we’re likely to see one another again?” She kissed him again, softer this time, and his hands wrapped firm around her. “Besides, if those lunks out there are stupid enough to miss me walking in here with you—”

“Maybe they’re smart enough to keep their mouths shut,” Steve rebutted as he gave in and kissed down her neck.

“In either event,” she lifted his face to look in his eyes again, “we should be smart enough to take advantage.”

~*~

It was Bucky, surprisingly, that was waiting for her when she emerged from Steve’s tent. He stepped out from the space between the canvas two tents down and fell into step with her, eyes dark and hands in his pockets.

She and Steve hadn’t actually talked about what he might tell his best friend, because in theory he couldn’t tell anyone anything. Neither of them could. She kept moving, Barnes keeping pace with her, until she’d managed a loop of almost the entire base without shaking her silent shadow. Finally, she walked out past the mess, stopping only when they were afforded at least some privacy.

“Well?” She finally asked, eyeing him and crossing her arms smartly.

Bucky shuffled his feet then looked up at her, face tight. “What kinda game are you playing?”

“Game?” she asked, incredulous. If anyone should have known just how real their feeling were, it should have been Bucky.

He shook his head and looked away. “The idiot’s head over heels for ya. You have to know that.” He looked at the ground and huffed a heavy sigh. He was caught between anger and disappointment when he looked back up at her. “You start breaking regs, he’s gonna follow right behind and one of you is gonna get hurt. Or worse: court martialed.”

Peggy started to reply, but he held his hand up. “Nah- I don’t… I don’t want to hear it. I’m happy for him. For you. And if this was any other place or time, I’d be shoving the two of you together like ya wouldn’t believe.” He shook his head sadly. “We’ll cover for you two as long as we can, but you know just as well as I do that Phillips and the rest of those higher ups can only turn a blind eye for so long.”

Bucky leaned down, as he started to move away. “Please don’t mess with him, Peg. You might be strong enough for it, but he’s still that 98-pound dumb struck kid inside that shell.”

All the bravado she’d felt at sneaking into Steve’s tent left her as Bucky walked away. Her stomach sank, heavy with the thought that Steve had the very real potential to be hurt in all this. Being undercover was never easy, especially when it meant faking relationships or allegiances, but Steve would be very aware of her playing house with another man, of her pledging her loyalty to the very organization he was laying his life on the line to fight.

She knew, when this was all over, she was going to have to mend some fences with some friends she would have to deceive, the Howlies high on that list. She just hadn’t considered, until this moment, that she might have to fight to regain Steve’s trust, as well.

She’d never even thought until now that she might lose it.

~*~

The idea that she’d be hurting Steve kept her up all night, tossing and turning in her bed. She thought about getting up, slipping out and sliding into his tent under the cover of darkness, but Bucky’s words, his face, were caught on a loop in her brain.

Being caught would fuel the fire. But up until now they’d been very careful about their relationship, about finding very private moments to share a kiss or an embrace. Steve had fairly romantic, if somewhat conservative, views about how she should be treated before they could be even publicly dating, and she’d done her best to respect that.

She’d never wanted to hurt him.

Steve seemed so strong. So confident. Even when she first met him, there was a strength to him that transcended his small body.

Somehow, she always imagined he’d end up hurting her. She dreamt of him walking away, one of the showgirls from the USO on his arm, or leaving because she wanted a career and not to be home taking care of kids. She had nightmares of him laughing at the end of the war, walking away with gaggles of fans under each arm once he realized he could have his pick of the bunch as Captain America. Peggy heard the words of other men come out of his mouth in her darkest moments, men from her past that called her names she didn’t like to repeat in polite company.

Somehow, she always imagined she’d be the one left behind when he realized all the doors his transformation would open up to him.

Peggy waited until sun up and slipped out to the mess, eating but not tasting her ration before she went to find him. She caught him just as he was leaving his tent, and with the tip of her head, he followed her.

“Morning…” he started cautiously, seeing how wound up she was. “Newsreel guys will be here any minute, so—"

She cut him off. “I didn’t sleep at all last night and it was Barnes’ fault.”

Steve watched the nervous energy pour from her in the way her fingers kept fidgeting at her sides, the way her breath came just a little faster. He shook his head and huffed a frustrated sigh. “What did he say?”

She thought about lying, turning right around, and not having this conversation. She shook her head, stepping just a little closer to whisper. “He made me realize how hard this is going to be on you.”

“Peg—”

“No,” she stopped his interruption, taking his hand. “You’re going to have to see me lie, you’re going to see me pretend to love another man and pretend to fight for an ideology that would have the world burn around us.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she held his hand tight. “I know it won’t be easy for me,” she finally looked up at him, “but until yesterday I hadn’t thought about how it might be for you.”

She stepped closer, taking both hands and framing his face gently, looking deep into his eyes. He held her gaze, never wavering, as she spoke. “I need you to know I love you. I love you, my darling, and no matter what I say, or what I have to do out there, or how long we’re apart, that will not change.” She took a slow, deep breath. “I don’t expect it should be easy when it’s all said and done, but…”

He smiled as she stuttered and wrapped his hands around her cheeks, eyes bright. “I love you, too, Peg.” He smirked when the anxiety left her and relief flooded her body at his words. “I know it’s going to be hard, being apart, but that won’t change for me, either. We’re going to make it through all of this, somehow. And I’ll see you soon. As soon as I can, first chance they’ll let me, ok?”

He leaned down, kissing her gently, and though Peggy felt a lot better, she still felt the tiny stirrings of fear and guilt. “Somehow,” she whispered.

~*~

He held her hand tight as they stepped through the low brush, moving to the tiny outcropping of trees they’d claimed as their own since they’d been at this base as the sun set low.

It was ridiculously easy to get the compass in front of the cameras. The newsreel team, knowing they had a great piece of gossip on their hands, made an effort to keep Phillips as preoccupied as possible when that little bit of footage came up, making it easy for Phillips to “miss” it as he approved the footage.

Meanwhile, Steve and Peggy snuck in as many moments alone together as they could in the last few days, knowing indulging would help their case in the long run. Peggy never mentioned to Steve that it helped soothe her fear that when all of this was over, she’ll have lost him.

Steve leaned back against a large pine, pulling her into his arms. “How long do you think we have?”

“Sixteen minutes before the next patrol,” Peggy answered as she kissed him, fingers running through his hair, “give or take.”

“I meant,” he lifted her from her feet with a smile and let her wrap her legs around his hips as he turned, pressing her back up against the tree, “how long do you think we have before they transfer you?”

Peggy hummed as he started kissing across her collar bone. “A day, maybe two at the most. I think they start showing it tonight in London.”

“I still don’t like this,” he muttered, pausing his kisses and nuzzling into her neck. “The idea of you out there, with Hydra…”

Peggy pressed him back. “I’ll have you know I was fighting Hydra long before you came along—”

“I know.”

“—and I can take care of myself.”

He was chastised, but looked at her earnestly. “You’re right. I’m being—”

“Chauvinistic?” She quirked her eyebrow at him and shook her head. “Overprotective? Pigheaded?” She shook her head, sighing as her temper softened. “It’s all dangerous, Steve.”

He moved a hand to cup her cheek, drawing his thumb up over her cheek. “I still have a way with words, huh?”

She smiled at that. “You still talk to me about as well as you did that day in the car.” She pecked a kiss to the tip of his nose. “Lucky you, I find that endearing.”

He returned the gesture. “Lucky me, indeed.”

“Come along, then,” Peggy gave a gentle tug to his head, angling him back to her neck. “We’ve got to make the most of what we have left, and I estimate we’re down to fifteen minutes.”

“Yes, Ma’am!”

~*~

“This is it.” Phillips was calm, just the way he always was before he sent his troops into battle. Peggy found it reassuring and frightening at the same time. “If you have any doubts, I need to hear them right now.”

Peggy looked at Steve, his blue eyes pleading for her to call it, for her to stop this whole thing. But she knew he understood, just as she did, that despite the risks, there could be a greater reward.

“No doubts.” She stood tall, shoulders back. She knew this was going to hurt, no matter how fake it was.

“Son?” Phillips looked at Steve, eyes just as steeled.

“None, sir.” Steve shook his head and handed over his compass.

The speed with which Phillips changed gears and started yelling startled them both. They all knew it had to be a show, and had to be believable, but Steve was unprepared for the way Phillips let fly, and for how loud he was.

The Colonel, as ever, had known what he was doing. Within seconds, Steve could see little eyes and ears at the edges of the tent where the flaps didn’t quite close, hoping to get just a snippet or two of what the man was saying.

Peggy bit her lip, listening as Phillips let loose words and accusations he’d never used with her, but had always been quick to the lips of other men around female officers.

Neither was ready for the way Phillips took the compass and threw it like a fast ball out of the tent and into the mud.

“What, Carter?” he asked harshly, his voice still booming. “You gonna cry now?”

Her lip quivered. She wanted to. And she could see standing as close to him as she was, that in his eyes, Phillips regretted everything he was saying. “No.”

“No, what?” He let loose.

“No, sir!” She fairly yelled back, a tear slipping from her eye.

At that he winced. He stepped back, took a deep breath, and pressed on. “And you, Rogers.”

Steve said nothing, just swallowed heavily.

“I never expected anything out of you in the first place. How nice of you to not disappoint.” Steve hung his head, the words cutting deep. “Latrines. Now. You’re digging and cleaning them until you hear otherwise from me, got that?”

“Yes, sir.” Steve parroted back, his voice loud but broken.

“Just because you look good in tights doesn’t mean you’re worth more than shit around here.” Phillips shook his head, lips pressed tight. “And you.”

“Latrines as well, sir?” Peggy asked, trying to sure up her voice the best she could.

“You think I’m a damn fool who was born yesterday?” He shook his head, hands on his hips, the steam rolling out of him. “Go pack your things. You’re on a transport in one hour. Because you’re a lady you get a nice, cushy, office job back in London. I’m sure the typing pool will benefit greatly.”

Phillips’ head fell, he couldn’t look at either of them. “Well, what are you waiting for?” He bellowed. “Go!”

Steve pretended not to see the men scurry away from the tent as he exited. He couldn’t help but look at Peggy as she followed him out. Her eyes were full of tears he knew she would try desperately to keep from falling.

Peggy stopped, crouching in the mud to pick up his compass. She pulled out a handkerchief from her back pocket, cleaning it the best she could before she handed it to him, avoiding his eyes and using the cleaning an excuse to get her emotions back under control.

Steve stuttered, unsure of what to say. Phillips had cut them both to the quick, even if it was for show. “You, uh… you want help with your trunks?”

“I can manage,” she whispered, eyes still on the handkerchief in her hands.

Steve shoved the compass in his pocket, looking around. The men who had been listening at the tent had scattered and they were, by all appearances, alone. Not that it mattered anymore. For better or worse, for real or for cover story, they were no longer a secret. “Peg,” he pleaded, taking her hands in his, “look at me.”

She huffed out a breath and looked up. “Harder than I thought.��� She nodded quickly. “I’ve... I have to…” She tilted her head towards her tent. “Soon,” she whispered, leaning into him. “Somehow.”

“Somehow,” he parroted back. He wanted to kiss her, but knew he couldn’t. There was just one piece left of the puzzle. He took a deep breath. “Hard as you can, ok?” His whisper was as quiet as he could make it. “Don’t hold back.”

Peggy steeled herself, taking short deep breaths. She pushed away, hurt that was real for the both of them written plainly across her face. “This is all your fault, Steve Rogers!” With a cry she wound up and slapped him, hard, across the jaw.

Steve cradled his cheek as she turned, stomping away.

He hated that this was going to be his last memory of her for a long time. He just kept telling himself that he’d see her soon. Soon.

Bucky stepped up next to him, slinging his arm around his shoulder. “What the hell happened, Steve?”

Steve just shook his head. “Hell if I know.”

“Come on,” Bucky turned him around. “We can go get some wax or something to stick in your nose so that super soldier sniffer of yours doesn’t lay you out in the latrines while you tell me all about it.”

[bonjour-rainycity]

Odin’s Ward ~ Chapter 9

Link to previous part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/637789805440368640/odins-ward-chapter-8

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Word count: 5473 (wow I’m so sorry)

Warnings: None

Y/n: 18 // Loki: 20 // Thor: 24

Y/n’s POV

Loki and I do our best to make the remaining days count. He does as promised and keeps me in his bed as much as he can. When we are absolutely required to be somewhere, we attend together if possible and rush through our events if we must be separated. Every moment we spend together only does more to convince me that leaving him could be my undoing. I just can’t fathom seeing my best friend every day for half my life only to suddenly have him ripped away from me.

The sun is just beginning to rise. Normally, I would enjoy the sunrise, as it is a thing of beauty, but today, it may as well be an axe swinging to sever my head; today is the day I leave.

Loki’s arm pulls tighter around my waist. I wonder if he slept. I barely did, and not for sexy reasons. The dread kept us up most of the night, leaving very little energy for intimacy. Still, it was wonderful to spend my last night here in his arms. I know even at this early point in my life, that I will cherish him forever.

As long as I live, I will never love another as much as I love him.

Sighing, I turn to look into his eyes. We can ignore the day no longer. After a moment, Loki leans forward to kiss my forehead.

“Let’s get dressed. There’s something I want to show you.”

Confused but willing, I am soon dressed in what I wore yesterday. I’ll have to change into something more formal before I go to meet Father, I remind myself, doing my best not to cringe at the quickly approaching reunion.

I expect Loki to reach for me so we can teleport to wherever he wants to go, but instead, he offers his arm and we begin a slow and silent walk through the castle. The world is still asleep, save for a handful of servants rushing to get the palace ready for the day. They bow quickly to Loki as they go along but otherwise avoid eye contact, knowing better than to stare at the prince escorting a woman so early in the morning.

“Does it bother you that they don’t bow to you as well?” Loki’s sudden question breaks the heavy silence.

“No,” I answer honestly, having considered this before today. “I haven’t done anything to earn their respect. I don’t employ them, I don’t protect them, and I don’t command them. Why should they show deference to me?”

Loki lets out an odd sound, halfway between a scoff and a growl. “They should. You are the chosen of an Asgardian Prince.”

I stop walking and turn to give him a soft smile, doing my best to keep the sadness out of my eyes. “Not officially.”

He places a hand on my cheek sweetly, but there is regret in his voice. “Would that I could, Darling.”

“I don’t doubt you. I never have, and I never will.” The words leave my mouth without thought. For some reason, I just know he needs to hear this. And besides, it’s true.

A strange mixture of relief, love, and pain colors his face, although he is quick to mask it with a pleasant expression and a kiss on my hand.

We resume walking and are soon in a sort of attic located in one of the castle’s turrets. Loki releases my arm in favor of grabbing my hand and pulls me deep into what seems to be a storage room. He stops before an unassuming object hidden amongst the clutter.

“An old painting?” Surely he must understand my confusion. It’s just a shabby painting of a dusty blue door.

Loki grins with a hint of that trademark mischief and my stomach flutters. Not taking his eyes from mine, he reaches straight into the painting and pulls on the handle of the door.

“An old, magic painting,” I smile, catching on.

Loki’s grin does not last long, and apprehension gnaws at me. Why is he showing me this?

“Loki?”

He exhales loudly, running a hand over his face, and it becomes apparent that he does not wish to say what he has planned.

But he does.

“Y/n, you know I love you, but I—” he falters, giving me time to register the shop pain I feel stab in my chest. With a tightly clenched jaw, he gets the rest of the words out. “I cannot continue to be in contact with you once we are separated.” He looks me in the eye then, the hurt clear on his face. Loki so rarely openly shows his emotions, so I know how deeply he must be feeling right now.

I try to plaster my expression into something resembling an impassive calm. “I understand.” Despite my efforts, tears prick at my eyes and soon run down my cheeks.

Loki pulls me into a hug, tucking me securely under his chin.

“I understand, I promise,” I cry into his chest. “As terribly as it will hurt to never see you again, I think it would be somehow worse to hold on.”

“Yes,” he breathes, unable to put any strength behind the word. “However.” He clears his throat and pulls back slightly to look at me, his voice sounding somewhat stronger. “This painting is connected to you. Should you experience an emergency, write a letter and picture it appearing inside this door. I have a simple spell surrounding the painting that will alert me whenever something is placed inside the doorway, such as a letter from you.” His previously formal tone softens, and he looks me earnestly in the eye. “I shall check it straight away.”

I squeeze his hand in thanks, touched that he would prepare this and offer his eternal aid. I lean against him in silence.

The tolling of bells alerts us, and I squeeze my arms around him once before pulling away.

“We should get back so we can get ready.” I chuckle, though no humor lies within me. “Can’t have the whole castle know we’re screwing, right?”

His snort matches mine in terms of gaiety, but I appreciate the gesture nonetheless. “The way you were shouting last night, I’m sure they at least have their suspicions.”

A surprised scoff bubbles from my throat and I lightly smack my lover on the arm.

He smirks, true mischief in his eyes once more. “Not that I’m complaining. No, I adore every noise that comes from your mouth, especially when it’s wrapped around my—”

“Oh-kay! I cut him off, actually laughing now. “We get it, we get it. You’re a sounds guy.”

He scrunches up his face in confusion as we begin our descent down the staircase. “A ‘sounds guy’? Whatever does that mean?”

I shrug one shoulder. “You know. The noises your partner makes during sex turn you on.”

HE shakes his head in fond exasperation. “Dearest Y/n, wherever do you learn all these terms?”

“Books.” Duh.

He scoffs. “You and I must favor entirely different literature.”

I grin, stepping backwards off the last stair so I can tug on his hands. “That’s what makes us so fun.”

And, for just a few moments, we’ve forgotten what lies ahead.

{***}

“Lady Y/n, I am here to escort you out of the castle.” The guard’s voice is gruff and uninterested as he speaks through my door.

“Just a moment,” I call, stalling for time. “Dagmar, are you sure this dress is right?” I turn to my maid, who surveys my appearance with a careful eye. “Yes, My Lady. All of my research shows that this is the appropriate dress for a woman of your status in Alfheim.”

I wear a long, pale white dress that sweeps to the floor. Think golden ropes criss-cross the bodice and encircle my arms, the sleeves are long and elegant. The dress is entirely impractical and much too light for my complexion, but I suppose it doesn’t really matter. I’m not exactly focused on impressing anyone at the moment.

The guard knocks again impatiently.

“I’m coming,” I huff, annoyed.

Aware that I am unable to delay the inevitable any longer, I turn to Dagmar. “Thank you. I mean it.”

She curtsies deeply. “You’re welcome, My Lady. I wish you the best of luck and all the happiness you may find in Alfheim.”

With that, I steel myself and stride to my bedroom door.

{***}

The walk to the horses feels like a death march.

Nobles and prominent Asgardians line the path, doing their duty of seeing off the King’s Ward. Some look uninterested, others gaze at me with hostility, some with fondness.  I can’t focus on more than my breathing. If I lose focus, I worry it will become erratic with nerves.

At the end of the long, straight path lies the Royal Family. Thor, Odin, and Frigga look pleased. Loki sports complete indifference and keeps his eyes from mine.

When I reach the King, Odin begins to speak. His speech is loud and meant for the Asgardians making up his Court, not for me. “Lady Y/n, it was with open arms many years ago that I welcomed you into my home and family. I am happy to have provided you with an exceptional upbringing and the finest amenities Asgard has to offer. It is with great pride and a touch of sadness that I now send you back to your father, as I have come to have much fondness for you.” Lie. Several Asgardians dab handkerchiefs at their eyes in showy fashion. “Still, I know you are off to your home and you will be well cared for. My family and I hope to meet you again in the future, and encourage you to remember how Asgard has helped you when you one day sit in a position of power.”

I curtsey low as protocol dictates, though because I have ever-dwindling respect for Odin, the action is an empty one. “Of course, Your Highness. I extend my deepest gratitudes to you and your family for taking such wonderful care of me all these years and for sharing what you have. I, of course, will always keep Asgard and its people close to my heart.”

Speeches done, a servant arrives to help me onto my horse. On the way, Queen Frigga takes my hands and squeezes, looking kindly into my eyes. “I have complete faith in you, my dear. Please know that I have thought of you much like a daughter all these years, and although it breaks my heart to see you go, I know you are off to greater things.” She pulls me towards her conspiratorially. “You will be magnificent.”

My breath hitches and tears prick at my eyes. I’m touched. “Your Majesty, I have always had the highest respect for you and truly appreciate every way you guided and helped me through these years. You’ve been a wonderful mother figure, and I do hope to see you again.”

Tears appear in her own eyes, though she hides them well. She squeezes my hand once more before releasing me to the servant who fulfills his duty of getting me safely onto the horse.

I ride with Thor on my left and Loki on my right. As we leave, the people cheer and wave, though I don’t hear much over the ringing in my ears.

“Look, Lady Y/n, commoners have come to see you off! They adore you.” Thor’s comment piques my interest enough for me to crane my head around his tall form. I’m shocked to see that the spaces behind the lines of nobles are packed with Asgardians from the villages, all waving and smiling. Hesitantly, I wave back, and their cheers increase. Huh, who knew?

Thor encourages his horse to pick up speed, and Loki and I do the same, careful not to look at each other. We race from the castle and across the Bifrost. The wind whips my face, but Dagmar’s intricate braid ensures my hair remains neat and presentable.

All too quickly, we arrive at the end of the bridge. Thor moves to help me off the horse, but Loki huffs and steps in front of his brother, lightly gripping my waist. He still doesn’t look me in the eye, but his fingers linger on the soft fabric of my dress.

Thor grits his teeth, crossing his arms irritably. “Come now, brother, this is no time for possessiveness. You know Lady Y/n belongs to you no more now than she did back in the palace. It is time to let all this silliness go.”

Both Loki and I ignore him, but I can see the anger brewing beneath Loki’s surface.

The three of us enter the golden dome, and the closer we get to Heimdall, the faster my heart beats. I throw my braid over my shoulder and square my shoulders, doing my best to put on a confident air. Fake it till you make it.

Heimdall greets us with respect and instructs us on where to stand. I have only traveled by Bifrost once before, and that was when I was very young. Fear of the unknown brings a shake to my hands. Discreetly, Loki takes my hand in his, and I let out a breath, grateful for him even if our time together is shrinking down to seconds.

Without warning, light encapsulates our figures, threatening to burn my closed eyes. In the next breath, my feet his solid ground. The impact jolts through my bones and I stumble, unprepared for the force of it. Both Thor and Loki reach for me, having anticipated me being unbalanced. Again, Loki shoots his brother a withering glance. Once steadied, I take in the room. It’s not near as grand as the room in which Heimdall resides, but I can tell that this space holds great importance.

The boxy room is a pale, silvery white, much like the color of my dress. The podium we landed on is adorned with light-colored jewels that glow faintly. Eight guards in decorated silver armor stand in front of the exit, blocking our path. Immediately, they drop into low bows, their attention clearly focused on the two princes on either side of me.

“Rise, valued allies,” Thor speaks, and I can feel Loki’s annoyance at Thor delivering the command. Thor releasing the guards from their bow shows his rank to be superior to his brother’s when in fact, neither is yet a crowned prince.

A man clad in ornate silver robes steps forward. In taking in the room, I hadn’t noticed him before.

“Exalted Princes of Asgard, we are humbled to be in your presence.”

I do my best to hold in a huff. I’m right here! Isn’t anyone excited to see me? After all, this is my home…supposedly. I do my best to shake the bitterness off, but am largely unsuccessful.

“And we are here to complete a task.” Loki’s voice is cool, detached, and my heart begins to ache. A task, am I?

“Of course.” The man in robes snaps to attention. “If you will follow me, I will escort you tot he Chief Diplomat.”

The man, who still hasn’t introduced himself, turns and begins to lead us down what seems to be a very long and very wide tree branch. The guards follow behind.

With each step, I hear the blood rush in my ears. My stomach feels unsteady, and I must keep blinking in order to hold my focus. Get it together, Y/n. You cannot seem as frightened as you are. Hold your head high like you were taught and walk with all the confidence you can muster. You need to make a good impression on these people. I do my best to take the advice I just gave myself, and begin to feel slightly better.

That optimism disappears the moment we enter the castle.

The tall spiral stretches into the sky, its silver color looking rather dull in comparison to the sun. Based on its color and shine, I guess that it’s built to look grand in the moonlight, not the harshness of day. I can’t help but compare the building to Asgard, which feels much more like home to me than this place. The man leads us on a path to what I assume is the throne room, but no true monarch reigns here; Odin and his family rule all nine realms, but they have a stronger hold on some than others. And although he is not a ruler, he is the highest ranking official in Alfheim, so it is my father who occupies the throne.

I gulp.

He looks like me, I suppose. But he is of much taller stature and his eyes are a deep brown. Marks and wrinkles line his face, showing his age, his years of battle, and the stress of his job. As Chief Diplomat, he wears not armor but sweeping, heavily decorated robes. They are the palest, purest white one can imagine and adorned in shining braided gold ropes, much like the ones on my dress.

He stands and begins to walk forward.

“It is customary, I believe, to kneel when addressing Princes of Asgard.” Loki surprises me by being the first to speak, his voice a calculated mixture of cool authority and apathy.

A flash of hardness enters my father’s eyes before he breaks into a bright smile. “Of course. Please accept my apologies, Your Highnesses.” He kneels, bowing his head in deference to the men at my sides.

I have yet to be acknowledged by anyone.

Unable to stand it any longer, I clear my throat.

My father looks at me for the first time. Once Thor gives him the okay to rise, he puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me over. “Hello, my child. Welcome home. You hardly look as I remember.”

“That’s what happens when you don’t see someone for many years.” I’m a bit disconcerted by the resentment in my voice, and I can see that it makes everyone else uncomfortable too.

“Yes, well…” My father clears his throat and looks away, removing his hands from my shoulders as he takes a step back. “I am glad to see you now.” I can see the truth in his eyes, and my heart softens slightly towards him. I don’t have many memories of my time in Alfheim, but I know that my father was kind towards me…when he was around.

“Your Majesties,” my father steps back so he can see both princes once more. “I extend my deepest gratitude for you seeing my daughter safely to my home.”

“We do it gladly,” Thor answers, smiling at me with fondness. “Although I am saddened to have her leave Asgard, I know this is her home and she will have a wonderful life here.”

Loki says nothing, his mouth set into a hard line. My father seems uncomfortable under Loki’s gaze and turns his full attention to Thor.

“She will. I have a most prestigious marriage lined up for her, and once a wedding has been planned, I will be sure to extend an invitation to her gracious hosts.”

They’re talking about me like I’m not even here. Anger wells within me, shouting for attention. I take a deep breath in the hopes of calming myself. At the noise, Loki’s eyes dart to mine, the first time he’s truly looked at me since the early hours of this morning. Now, panic seizes my body and desperation strains my chest. Our time is almost out.

“My family will be thrilled to attend if we are able. But now, I’m afraid, my brother and I must return to Asgard.” Thor’s words show a clear intention of leaving, and my eyes go wide. Just as my father dips into a bow, I hear a strangled voice call out a single word:

“Wait!”

I’m shocked when the echo tells me the voice was mine.

All eyes are on me, with clear confusion and annoyance emanating from my father.

I swallow, hurrying to think on my feet. “It is customary, I believe,” I accidentally repeat Loki’s words from earlier, and I can see the twinge of pride in his eyes, “to extend an invitation of supper to my escorts.”

The hard line of his mouth tells me that my father is not pleased, whether with my habit of speaking freely or the possibility of continued scrutiny from his rulers, I don’t know. He quickly schools his expression though and enthusiastically agrees.

He certainly is a diplomat.

“My people and I would be honored to host you.”

Thor beams, amiable as always. “We are delighted to accept! Forgive our armor, we were not prepared to dine.”

Loki smirks and, with a flash of green light, is dressed in proper Asgardian dinner attire.

Father stares on in shock. “Well,” his voice is dry, and I can hear his fear. “The rumors are true. A sorcerer stands before me.”

Loki’s smirk deepens, and he clasps his hands behind his back in a false show of humility. Really, the stance just makes him look all the more powerful.

With clear effort, Father returns his tone to lightness. “If it pleases Your Highnesses, I will have my servants escort you to rooms so you can prepare for supper as you like. It will not take long for the food and hall to be ready.”

“Yes, that would be nice,” Thor agrees, offering Father a kind smile.

I can tell Father readily accepts this after Loki’s thinly-veiled hostility. “Wonderful! Y/n,” he is the first person aside from Loki to use my familiar name, and it momentarily strikes me. “Your handmaiden, Ragna, will escort you to your chambers and ready you for dinner.”

Ragna, a sweet-looking girl in her middle teens, steps forward and curtsies first to the princes, and then to me.

The first time someone has bowed to me. While it makes me a little uncomfortable, it also gives me a faint thrill of power. I immediately understand why Loki likes it so much.

Ragna sets off, and I realize that I am meant to follow her. I do so, forcing my feet to take action. From behind me, my father assigns groups of servants to Thor and Loki, and they are led down a parallel hall. I feel a jolt of panic at being separated from Loki. What if this is simply a distraction so they can leave without my knowledge? But I force myself to calm with deep breaths, trying to convince myself that that outcome is unlikely.

My handmaiden and I do not speak as I am led through the intricate, winding hallways. We climb many sets of stairs, telling me that we are heading up the spiral of the castle. Finally, on a floor high above the ground, we reach my chambers. She holds the door open for me and I step in, observing my new living space.

My chambers extend over a series of five rooms: a bedroom, bathing room, sitting area, tea/dining room, and what seems to be a personal library. Each room is long and narrow, most likely to accommodate for the height of this part of the castle. The room itself is that same pale, silvery white that Alfheim seems to favor. My bedding and couches are green, just enough to remind me of Loki and his chosen color, but it is completely the wrong shade. It’s much too light and like the green found in grass, not Loki’s ornate and deep emerald. It’s all wrong. My chambers are beautiful, and certainly more decorated than my room in Asgard, but I find myself missing my previous chambers with their warm, welcoming oak walls and deep purple accents. My eyes catch a table in the sitting room, and my heart sinks upon realizing that my magical flowers are not there. But why would they be, I question bitterly. Those belong on Asgard, along with everything else I treasure.

“Are your chambers to your liking?” Ragna has a high-pitched, timid voice, and I can tell that she fears me. I wish she wouldn’t.

“They’re lovely,” I breathe, trying to keep the pain out of my voice. This is your home now, Y/n. Better get used to it and just let Asgard go.

But it hurts.

Ragna can sense my displeasure. “The Chief Diplomat did not know what you favored, so he ordered the room to be decorated grandly, but in Alfheim’s neutral colors. If something is more to your taste, let me know and I will have it changed immediately.”

I think on this. Of course, redecoration is pointless depending on the date of my wedding. After that, I shall share chambers with my husband. “Will I be in this room long?”

Ragna nods. “Even when you are married, you will keep these chambers. You husband to-be has his own as well, and you will meet him in his chambers when he calls for you.”

It is not only her phrasing that makes my stomach twist. “He’s here in the castle now?”

“Of course. He must work closely with your father to learn all he can so he is prepared when the time comes for him to take over as Chief Diplomat.”

I scowl. “And he did not think it polite to greet me?”

Ragna shrinks under the harshness of my tone, and immediately, I feel bad. When she speaks, it’s through a wavering bottom lip. “I am sorry, My Lady.”

I sigh. “No, it is I who must apologize. My day has been long and the nerves from returning home seem to have gotten the best of me.”

Ragna smiles, and the beginning of trust shines hesitantly on her face. “All is forgiven, My Lady.” She pauses, then seems to overcome her nerves. “Would you allow me to re-do your hair? It is lovely, but wrong for our traditional style.”

I nod and follow her to the dressing table, doing my best to not seem attached to the Asgardian braid.

Ragna allows me to stay in the dress, praising my previous maid for ‘nailing’ Alfheim attire. “It shows your rank,” she explains, smoothing my dress out from below me. “The higher in status you are, the lighter your clothes.” I take notice of her light brown dress. Seeing my gaze, she nods. “I am a servant, so my dress is brown. But,” I hear pride color her voice. “I am a handmaiden to one of the highest figures in Alfheim, so that elevates my rank. If I worked in the kitchens scrubbing dishes, my dress would be dark brown. The kitchens are one of the lowest places you can go.” I hear resentment in her voice, and wonder if she once occupied a position there.

As Ragna continues talking to me, her voice becomes more confident and chipper. I can tell she is pleased to be here and will become even warmer to me with time. Perhaps one day, when my resentment and fear fades, I will have a friend in her.

A bell rings; Ragna straightens in response. “That signals dinner. I will escort you there and remain standing a few feet behind your chair. Should you need anything at all, simply wave your hand, and I’ll come to you.”

“Alright, thank you.”

She beams at my thanks. Perhaps servants aren’t treated as well here as they are in Asgard.

I follow Ragna down countless flights of stairs before she takes a hallway on our right. After a left, we enter a large dining hall, comparable in size to the one in Asgard. Due to my long descent, I am the last to arrive, and the men all wait standing behind their chairs. As they are higher in rank than my father, Thor and Loki take the heads of the table, my father and I are meant to occupy seats in the middle. Once Ragna pulls out my chair and I am seated, the men sit as well.

Interesting, I think. In Asgard, you just sit and eat, regardless of who is there. Yes, you stand for royalty, but you don’t wait for everyone to be in attendance. Just one of many new customs I’ll have to get used to.

The table is fairly long and feels much too big for the four of us, but soon the food is brought out and I wonder if the table is long enough. Roasted boar and hens and something else I don’t recognize are the main dishes, with countless varieties of fruits, vegetables, and breads surrounding them.

Thor grins and begins an easy conversation about how our friend Volstagg would adore the meal. Father extends an empty invitation of hosting him sometime, and Thor gives a pleased response that holds as little meaning as did Father’s invitation.

I take advantage of their distraction and glance at Loki. He wears a mask of apathy, but I know him well enough to see past it. His hand grips his knife too tightly and he stares blankly at his food, not eating. It is plain that he is in as much distress as I am. But we cannot allow it to show, because if Father finds out that I have been sleeping with Loki, all will be ruined, including me.

But would that be so bad, a rebellious voice within me questions. You wouldn’t have to marry that guy—my face scrunches as I realize I don’t even know his name—and you would be sent back to Asgard.

Inwardly, I sigh. No. Your duty is to your family and your realm, not to your heart and desires. Besides, it’s unlikely that Asgard would take you back. In hopes of covering my quickly tanking mood, I drink from my water.

Dinner is filled with casual conversation that holds no real meaning. I don’t know why I forced the invitation, as this is no true time with Loki. Still, I just can’t bear to see him go and will stall for as long as I can.

But time moves on and runs out all too quickly.

Before I can prepare myself, Thor is standing, and the rest of us must follow.

“I wish not to worry our parents any longer. Brother, we must return to Asgard.”

“Of course, I apologize for having kept you so long,” my father begins politely. But I don’t hear the rest of the conversation.

He’s leaving. He’s really going, he’s going to leave me here. My breathing picks up as panic sets in. I try to swallow, but can’t get around the huge lump in my throat. A white-hot feeling burns in my stomach, and I bite my lip, begging myself to calm down.

My footsteps drag as I follow Father, Thor, and Loki to the entrance of the castle. The same group of guards and the man in the ornate robe wait to escort the princes back to the Bifrost Room.

Thor turns to me, smiling kindly. “Lady Y/n, I am so glad to have met you. I wish you all the happiness in the world.” He bends to kiss my hand and then steps aside, allowing Loki the opportunity to do the same.

He doesn’t.

Instead, he nods curtly and turns on his heel, striding towards the exit.

I know why he did this. I saw the pain in his eyes and the strain in his shoulders as he fights the urge to run to me.

That doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

Without another word or glance my way, the princes leave.

A sense of numbness takes over. He’s truly gone.

And although Loki has completely faded from view, I do not take my eyes off the horizon as I speak. “When will I meet him?”

“Your fiancé?” Father’s voice is gruff and disinterested. “Sometime soon. He is a very busy man, you know.”

“Of course.” My words are polite but my tone is dead.

Father looks at me worriedly, unsure of what to do. “Perhaps sleep will do you well, my child. You have had a long day.” He gestures to Ragna, who flits to my side and carefully leads me to my chambers.

I keep it together as she helps me out of my dress and into my night clothes. My expression is blank as she brushes my hair and removes the makeup from my face. I mutter a polite, “thank you,” as her dismissal. She curtsies and leaves.

It’s the feeling of the cold, empty bed, so foreign from the warm embrace of Loki in his own bed, that breaks me.

I sob well into the night.  

A/n There ya have it! Sorry it was sad :( Let me know what you thought and if you would like to be added to the tag list! 

Link to next part: https://bonjour-rainycity.tumblr.com/post/637989270079078400/odins-ward-chapter-10

Tag list: @80strashbag @dark-night-sky-99 @what-am-i-doing10 @chxrryycola @ravenclaw5606

[spice-chan]

Runaway Omega - Chapter five.

You and Sho had a simple chicken noodle soup for lunch, one which he cooked in an attempt to impress you. You found that endearing, and sat on you coach reading while you waited for dinner. You’d never felt so pampered.

Now here you guys are, on your nest while you laid down to take a nap after the surprisingly good meal you had. You taught him well, before, he wasn’t able to chop potatoes.

He played with your hair and helped you drift to dreamland, even if only for a bit.

You woke up and found yourself alone, surprisingly. You yawned, standing up and seeing the sun starting to set. You pulled the duvet off you and stood up.

Sho wasn’t in the house.

You started to panic, despite the rational part of you saying there’s no need. A heavy weight settled on your shoulders. You tried to ignore the anxiety, the fear of abandonment by eating cookies to distract yourself, but it lingered at the back of your mind, like an unwanted thought thats constantly taunting you.

What are you doing ?

He’s a free man, he can leave for some fresh air if he wants or the market, he would have told you had you not being sleeping.

You settled on your nest to try and relax.

Eventually, you were pulled out of your stupor by the sound of your door opening, making you leap out of your nest and rush to the door.

“Sho, where were you?!” You asked, failing to conceal the worry in your tone. You cursed, just how desperate had you sounded ?

“Did something happen ?” Sho replied with his own inquiry, unable to grasp what had you looking so worried.

“Uh um... I’m just not used to you leaving so suddenly, sorry” you said, Shoto couldn’t help but notice the black cloud that blanketed your face.

Shoto was suddenly overcome with guilt, you were pregnant too, he shouldn’t worry you. At the end of the day, though, Shoto was still nothing but a novice at love.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have left without at least letting you know.” Shoto said, patting your head. His heart fluttered when he saw your face brighten with a smile, relief washing over him.

A novice he may be, but for your happiness, he will keep trying.

You rubbed your neck sheepishly. You somewhat expected him to react in a more defensive way, although now that you thought about it, it was stupid to think that way of Shoto.

You were suddenly aware of the space between you, and weren’t too pleased about it. You got closer to him, and hugged him, as close as your bump would allow. He tensed up at first, but melted into it in no time. It wasn’t your first time hugging, but it felt like it, it was still excited, and just as comforting. His scent does wonders.

Shoto was surprised by the abrupt act of affection, but decided to test his luck further. He bent down, his breath caressing your ear as he whispered.

“I love your hugs but, does your Alpha not get a welcome back kiss ?”

Your face erupted red, not expecting this in the slightest. Clearing the uncertainty between you and Sho helped clear the doubt that surrounded you guys, but now you are reaping the benefits of that. Your Alpha can certainly be seductive when he wants to be.

You heeded his command, pulling him down by the neck and kissing him with ferocity that he returned. But it wasn’t time to make this more heated.

You pulled away, trying to ignore his dissatisfied pout.

“So where were you anyway ?” You questioned inquisitively, your eyes looking up at his in curiosity. Shoto returned your stare with a poker face, but you can see the softness in his eyes.

“Your in your eighth month right ?” Sho asked, making you tilt your head in confusion at the sudden diversion.

“Yes ?”

“And don’t you need a midwife ?”

...

A sudden pause, followed by the widening of both your eyes and mouth.

“OHHH!” You exclaimed. Your own disbelief at your folly and forgetfulness.

Shoto had somewhat of a unique expression himself, looking as if he was trying to stop his lips from quirking up, but his eye brows were raised in mock disbelief, as if he was unsure whether to be amused or unsure of how you could forget such a thing.

You suddenly wanted to hide and spare yourself.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that, I didn’t give birth before, it’s the inexperience” You tried to justify, but your flimsy explanation did your crime no justice.

Shoto broke out into full blown laughter, his shoulders shaking from the force of it. To see such a stoic Alpha laughing so heartily made your heart fill with warmth, your cheeks flushing as you looked at him with glassy eyes.

He caressed your cheek lovingly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Well, I was asking if there’s any midwives near us so we can go visit one tomorrow to ensure everything goes smoothly in the upcoming days.” He explained.

“Thanks Sho.” You said full of gratitude at his thoughtfulness. Sho somehow never made you feel as if this pup wasn’t his own too, somehow, you had a feeling he was going to be a great dad.

“What’d you do without me huh?” He retorted.

“Probably get a new Alpha.”

A lingering silence hung in the air. Before it was cut by a vicious growl.

Shoto moved to cut what little space accumulated between you, you moving back, mostly confused at the sudden change of character.

After recalling what you said, you realized just how stupid it had been. You were a pregnant Omega, and Sho hadn’t marked you yet. That probably made him a lot more protective and possessive, seeing as your relationship was still newly established.

His eyes had turned to a shade of black, his voice a lot more guttural as he spoke out.

“What did you say Omega ?”

At the sound of your title, you titled your head, exposing it in an act of submission.

Shoto still wasn’t pleased though.

“Sorry, Alpha, I didn’t mean it !” You cried out.

Shoto growled near your neck. He leaned down, rubbing his scent against it.

“Who’s your Alpha ?” He asked, voice noticeably less guttural but still on edge.

“You, Sho”

You purred, a cute sound that causes Shoto to relax and return it with one of his own.

“Sorry about that” Sho apologized, surprised at his own act of possessiveness. Perhaps a sensed something coming, a storm in the form of fire that was heading their way.

A sharp knock sounded, the innocent door being pounded as if it was receiving a beating to atone for a crime. The pair brome apart from each other, not expecting guests.

“I’ll open it Sho, you should go change.” You offered, but Sho firmly shook his head.

The door continues to be banged, and both of you had enough of offering to open the door for the other, deciding to go open it together.

Sho twisted the doorknob, and was met with a fiery glare from vermilion irises.

Sho, having sensed his hostility, returned the glare with a chilling one if his own.

Your heart leapt to your throat, a feeling of dread and something else gnawing at you.

Bakugou sniffed, and his eyes widened to saucers, while you were rooted in your spot near the door.

Bakugou could smell your scent all over that prick.

A violent growl tore through him, his glare turning deadly with a promise of bloodshed.

He looked inside, and spotted your figure, looking panicked with your stomach full.

His eyes drank you, widened and glassy, drinking you as if he hadn’t had moisture in weeks. You were still as beautiful as the day you left, but Bakugou’s eyes lingered on your full belly as he processed what he was seeing.

...you were pregnant ?

How?! And when ?!

Those thoughts plagued Bakugou’s mind, his eyes turning black as a growl that put any of the others to shame tore through him. The Alpha in front of him being a threat that needs to be eliminated, and why was your sweet scent mixing with his stench ?

Shoto let out a territorial growl of his own. Your Omega was overwhelmed with all this, making you let out a distressed chirp, making both Alphas snap their heads towards you.

“(Y/n), sweetheart, go inside, I’ll deal with the nuisance.” Shoto’s calm voice rang out, calm, but you can spot the tenseness and threat lying beneath the calm facade.

“Sweetheart ? (Y/n) Who’s this binary fuck !?” Bakugou directed his intensity at you.

“Move out of my way NOW” Bakugou growled at Shoto. He couldn’t believe this. Not only were you pregnant, but you were living with Alpha jerk !?

“STOP” you shouted. The situation was going to escalate quickly. You were distressed, and so was the pup, and that combined with your nerves was making you quickly want to lash.

“Bakugou, come inside.” You relented, you guessed he deserved an explanation seeing as you were pregnant, and although it hurt you, you didn’t want to leave this on this unresolved note.

“Bakugou huh ?” Shoto said, his eyes holding unmistakable hatred.

“Don’t forget the name of the guy who’s going to kill you-“ Bakugou growled out, his nostrils flaring “- and (y/n) , it’s Katsuki” he said to your aggravation. He pushed Shoto aside, who was unwilling to let him in, but decided to be mature about your wishes.

“(Y/n), explain, what’s this ?” Bakugou asked, his eyes holding sorrow as he looked at you, gulping as he caught the smell of the Alpha on you. He was feeling possessive enough to kill.

“Who’s he ?” Bakugou questioned again, directing his glare at the other Alpha.

You were about to drop the bomb.

“He’s my Alpha.”

You watched in horror as Bakugou’s face started to show scale, his eyes turning so much that his pupils were invisible.

“No, he’s not.” His voice was so deep and guttural.

“It’s my pup, isn’t it ? I can feel them, feel the dragon in them. SO WHO’S THIS BINARY FUCK ?!” He shouted so loud the house visibly shook. Sho pushed him away from you, pulling you behind him protectively, which visibly made Bakugou angrier as he went to reach for him.

“I said STOP” you said, then started coughing due to the volume you just used, not being sued to shouting at all. Both Alphas looked at you alarmingly.

“...just call down, will you ?” You asked visibly exhausted, making both Alphas feel guilty, both wanting to purr to calm you and ease your nerves.

“Since you want answers so badly, I’ll give them to you. Yes, Sho is my Alpha, you obviously didn’t want me, so I don’t know what’s the fuss about. And I only discovered I was pregnant after I left, I didn’t feel obligated to tell you since you were going to be coronated and obviously didn’t want distractions. Not that I’d want to burden my pup with that lifestyle.” You spoke, each word stabbing Bakugou like a knife in the gut. Regret and rejection mixing into a deadly potion.

“(Y/n) no , Omega, I didn’t mean any of that, I..I-I love you, God, I’m sorry, just please, let’s go back home” Bakugou cried out, unable to accept that you weren’t going to be a part of his life anymore. No, he wouldn’t stand for it. Jealousy stirred inside him again as he saw that wretched bastard, imagining her showering him with the affection that was reserved for Katsuki.

His Omega, who he loved, no, loves and has for the better part of his life, leading a life without him? Let alone with another Alpha ? What about their pup ?

Katsuki always imagined what you’d look like swollen with his pups, he always thought you’d look even more gorgeous. But he never voiced any of his more affectionate thoughts and now he’s paying the price. Now he’s seeing the neck thats going to bear his mark reeking with another Alpha’s scent.

But nobody can live you as much as Bakugou, he cant imagine anyone having that immeasurable affection and love for another human being, it’s way he was overwhelmed to the point he lashed out. If he could go back in time, Bakugou might consider cutting his tongue off then feeling this cutting pain. But alas, emotions worked in mysterious ways, especially when it came to Bakugo.

He remembers that bittersweet ache he’d feel every morning when he saw your angelic face, so serene and adorable. He’d fall in love with you all over again, and he feared others knowing the intensity of his love. He should have worn it like his cape, tall and proud, should have declared it with a mark on your neck for all the world to see.

Now here you were, hearing a confession he’d scarcely say, without saying it back.

No more I should haves.

He’s going to bring you back with him, and raise your pup together, he’ll make you his queen and treat you like one.

Another Alpha ? What a joke, he’ll make you forget about him in no time, make sure that you have eyes for no one but him like before.

He’ll have to punish you a bit for making him him so jealous and threatened, but nothing his gentle Omega can’t handle.

Katsuki put his hand on top of your head, seeing the surprise on your face, he started to gently pat it, a word not usually associated with the rugged Alpha.

He started purring.

Even after all this time, your heart started having somersaults. You fought with yourself to remain nonchalant.

“I’ll get you back Omega, I’m never leaving without you nor I’m I letting you leave. That’s out of the question.” He said with a gentle smile as he kept his hand on top of your head but started stroking your hair. You never saw him willingly express such softness. Having reunited with you made him incredibly happy despite the... unsavory turn of events.

He had genuinely been worried out of his mind, a small, beautiful Omega like you, all alone...

You were suddenly ripped from his arms.

Shoto held you against him protectively, glaring at Bakugo with killing intensity. The room seemed so much colder.

“She’s my Omega, you’d better stay far away Bakugou Katsuki.” Said Shoto, practically declaring war.

“Repeat that, you bastard , I dare you !” Bellowed Bakugo, already moving to rip you out of Shoto’s arms. You can feel all of Sho’s muscles against your back, and his warm, albeit shaky, breath caused your cheeks to warm as well.

His muscles weren’t the only thing you were feeling though.

You suddenly griped your stomach as you bit your lip in pain, clutching it as a searing pain tore through your guts.

Both Alphas looked at you in panic.

[arsnovacadenza]

Jean d’Arc Route Summary and Translation Chp.4

Disclaimer: This is an unofficial translation based on my somewhat serviceable Japanese skills with the aid of various kanji dictionaries (and some Google Translate). As I’m doing this mostly for practice, progress will be relatively slow and there might be changes to formatting in the future. Thank you for your patience and understanding

The italicized words in brackets are the comments I made throughout my playthrough.

 As promised, here’s my summary and translation of Jean D’Arc’s route in Ikemen Vampire. Obviously, there will be SPOILERS.

Before we jump right into Chp. 4, let me give little bit of context from chapter 3 since I didn't think to translate Jean's route from the very beginning:

Comte called a meeting with other vampires in the mansion to explain their entire situation to MC. So far, they've told her about their vampiric nature and their diet. Aside from Arthur, nobody else drank blood directly from humans. Even so, Napoleon told her to at least have some caution (although he can promise that nobody was going to bite her in the future).

MC asked where Jean was since he wasn't present in the dining room where they held the meeting. Mozart asked her to come along with him to Jean's quarters on the second floor (surprise, surprise, he didn't live in some ominous tower detached from the building).

Mozart point-blank confronted MC about her bite mark, which he guessed was Jean's doing. In case you haven't read up on Chp. 1 spoilers, Jean bit MC on the first night she arrived as a mansion, afterward telling her that she should've been more alert because she WAS living among stronger creatures that COULD potentially prey on her..

(Our boy sure loves to emphasize the monstrous side of vampirism and how it changed him into a predatory creature far detached from his previous human self. There's just so much to talk about here).

MC, of course, is overwhelmed by the whole situation, including Jean's reasoning for biting her. So, she asked Mozart about Jean's possible logic for doing it since they seemed to be close friends.

And that brings us to the beginning of Chapter 4.

MC, of course, was overwhelmed by the whole situation, including Jean's reasoning for biting her. So, she asked Mozart about Jean's possible logic for doing it since they seemed to be close friends.

And that brings us to the beginning of Chapter 4. 

Mozart retorted, "To think that I can talk about his feelings on his behalf just because we're friends is a ridiculous assumption."

MC is taken aback by his sharp words, but admitted that he's right anyway.

He continued "In other words, go talk to him yourself and use your head."

And just like that, he opened a door and pushed MC into a room, sending her barreling on the floor. He then closed the door and called out to her from outside, basically saying. "Your misunderstanding of our relationship is wack. Come back after you talk to the guy himself."

She thought about the absurdity of the situation as the sound of Mozart's footsteps grew distant. Suddenly, a shadow fell upon her, and she followed to where it led.

In front of her was a figure gazing at her with empty eyes.

It's Jeanne. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

She stood up and apologized for suddenly barging into his room while averting her eyes from Jean's. Then she continued.

"As I'm going to burden myself upon everyone in this mansion for a month, I thought about paying my respects again." To which Jean only answered. "Is that so."

MC tried to give him an excuse as to why she wanted to go to such lengths just to greet him, which Jean didn't seem to care about. (Boy, he's rude let me tell you.)  All the while, she kept thinking about how she'd soon be saying goodbye to everyone in the mansion without coming to terms with this one guy.

As MC fidgeted under his unwavering stare, she suddenly remembered her earlier talk with Mozart. She needed to confront Jean about the biting incident and understand his side of the story. 

Piecing together the information she obtained from the morning meeting with everyone else, especially about their mealtimes and regarding Blanc and Rouge, she concluded that he didn't bite her out of starvation.

And she also looked back to Jean's words on that fateful night.

"If you want to return to the safety of your world, you better have a sense of danger."

"Think about how you should act to protect yourself."

(So basically Jean's telling her "If you ain't strong enough you ain't gonna last long, bitch")

But MC decided to press him more, anyway. "Why, on that night, did you bite me? Can you tell me?"

Jean answered, "If I told you the reason why what are you going to do with it?"

(Jean, that is not how you talk to ppl)

An awkward atmosphere hung between them, but Jean continued. "You weren't aware that we're vampires."

"Your wandering aimlessly around the mansion is an eyesore—"

"If you think I'm an eyesore, won't it be better if you're free of my presence?"

"Even if you said I was just an eyesore," she fired at Jean. "You didn't exactly see me as prey, do you?"

And Jean basically just answered, “Quite the carefree woman, aren’t you?”

My arms were pulled, and fingers encased in a white glove tilted up my chin.*

"Regarding that night, it doesn't matter to me however you interpret it,"  he murmured. "If you think of it as me being kind to you [for giving you a warning about the true nature of this mansion's residents], so be it."

"Don't approach me anymore outside of this, and get out of here this instant."

After Jean gave her the boot, MC broke down and thought about the entire confrontation, her heart racing. However, she managed to collect herself and left Jean’s door. Unbeknownst to her, Mozart had been watching the entire scene from afar. "Alas, it's no use, is it?" he sighed.

“Indeed. It is an impossible feat to unlock Monsieur Jean’s heart, especially for a newcomer like MC”

That surprised Mozart pushed MC into Monsieur Jeanne’s room.

The butler asked Mozart if he was worried about Jean. From the time they first met, Jean had been “rejecting various things, and at the same time absolutely gives up on everything.”

"The reason for that, I don’t know….. That's Jean's way of life. He can do as he pleases."

"But as his friend....it does concern me a little."

“A friendship between beautiful people, how precious!”

(That’s not what you should be focusing on, you idiot).

“Herr Mozart, if you give up, then that’s when everything is truly over.” Sebastian beamed. “Please leave it to me as this mansion’s butler, for I have something in mind.”

Mozart shrugged his shoulders as he gazed at the eccentric butler’s smile.

(This part is more dialogue and screenshot-heavy as I want to avoid misinterpretation as much as possible)

A quiet night descends upon a moonlit church at the foot of a forest, far away from the mansion. Inside, a lone man walks under the moonlight, reflected on the stained glass patterns. He narrowed his orbs*, whose left and right colors are different.

“Master, do forgive me for not paying my respects as of late.” He greeted another man.

“Ah, Will. Have there been any changes lately?”

Will proceeded to tell ??? about a young woman stumbling through the door from another world and into the mansion. He also notified Vlad that the Comte has allowed her to impose on them for a month.

The white-haired man smiled amusedly. “Ah, the most intriguing things do occur, don’t they?”

“But what I can’t comprehend,” Shakespeare frowned. “This woman is seemingly an ordinary human of no virtue.”

“As if an impurity has mixed in with the brilliance of the great men.”

Shakespeare hoped that she wouldn’t be a hindrance to his plans, and I quote:   “A creature that only invites tragedies instead of comedies. And I have no use of such mediocre tragedies.”

After some exchange, ??? said,  “A creature that only invites tragedies instead of comedies. And I have no use of such mediocre tragedies.”

"Indeed," Shakespeare concurred. "I strive for the finest tragedy with the most exquisite cast."

"The great men who are set to dance on the stage you've set up," His master smirked. "They make the finest marionettes, don't they?"

"That is why, Master, I've decided to join hands with you."

"With you, who carries the same power as the Count....."

"What is it you desire, Will?"

"Can you lend me your power and arrange for a livelier cast?"

"The greater the obstacle they face, the more exceptional the tragedy that ensues."

"I'll think about it," his master replied. 

Smiling elegantly, the red-eyed man looked up at the moon. Behind his eyes shone a glint of a power that can move the entire world.

(In KennieJD’s words: “You both deserve each other cause y’all crazy as hell”).

*1: I nearly fell off my chair translating this part

*2: The original kanji says “双降”, which doesn’t come up if you search on any kanji dictionary. I asked Asha about this, and she said it’s a typo on Cybird’s part. It’s supposed to be 双眸, which means ‘a  pair of eyes’

I didn't intend this to be this lengthy and dialogue-focused, but I realized that I really enjoy writing lines for bitchy characters. Jean and Vlad's were especially a delight to work with! I couldn’t do much for Shakespeare’s lines tho. I haven't been an English Literature student for two years.

Tagging @hokkaido-fox​ for now. Let me know if you want to be tagged in upcoming summaries and mini-translations!

Credits to @ashavazesa​ for her tremendous help with some of the kanji. 

[zeppelin-and-unicorns]

15 and 18

15 - If you write OC’s, how do you decide on their names?

Just answered that one here!

18 - Do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

Oh my God, I have so many!! Beware, this is going to be a very long answer. Click on the thingy to read more!

Last year, back when I first started writing fanfiction, I had a lot going on in my mind, and at one moment I had to choose which stories I would actually work on, and which ones I would have to drop it for now. There were five stories in total, and I dropped three of them.

Two of those five stories evolved and they became When The Levee Breaks and Map of the Problematique, the other three are still unnamed and undeveloped.

I'll give you the main summary of them, because why the hell not?

The first story is a pretty fluffy one, I've abandoned it because there are already a few stories like these in the fandom and because I got too invested writing my other stories. Also, a huge chunk of it is written in the first person, because I started writing it at the beginning of the last year, and I've learned that I don't really like writing in first person anymore... Writing WTLB is hard enough already lol.

This story would narrate the beginning of Jackie and Hyde's relationship while Donna and Kelso were still in California, but there are a few twists: Eric doesn't mope around in his room most of the time, and he develops a really nice friendship with Jackie (that friendship would turn into a small crush later), and Eric and Donna would not be endgame.

There's a lot going on at first, in this story, Hyde actually plans on "wooing" Jackie once he's sure she's over Kelso, they flirt a lot and he's aware that he's going to make a move on his best friend's ex. Jackie's also very interested in Hyde, but for a while, she thinks he'd never be interested in her.

Their flirting wouldn't last long though, I had planned on making them get together at the beginning of the story (I think it was in chapter five?), the rest of the story would narrate them hiding their relationship from their friends and how close they are getting to Eric and Fez.

I've planned on writing lots of sweet friendly moments between Jackie, Hyde, Eric, and Fez. In fact, there are quite a few scenes written out already, and in one of them they're all in a circle and it's the first time Eric realizes that Jackie's not as bitchy as he thought she was. Here's one of the circle scenes I've written:

"You know what?" Jackie announced, ignoring Fez's sobs and passing the joint to Hyde, thanking God that he was probably too high to notice how goosebumps rose all over her body when his fingers brushed against hers "I hope Michael gets syphilis from a random beach whore and goes blind."

"Odds are pretty good of that happening." Hyde nodded as he took another hit "Of him getting an STD, I'm not so sure about becoming blind, but I'm sure once he gets back to Wisconsin we can convince him to stare at the sun long enough for that to happen"

Eric snickered "Yeah... I hope Donna just... Never comes back, I hate her... Yeah..."

"No, you don't," Jackie said flatly to him "You'll probably marry her if she ever does come back."

Eric stared at Jackie for a few seconds before sighing dejectedly "... yeah, you're right..."

"But, hey, we can bash on Michael some more if you like, it's fun!"

"You're right, it is fun! " Eric nodded, smiling at the petite girl sitting next to him on the couch and wondering when did he start to actually enjoy her presence.

The whole google doc for this story has over 7k words of random dialogues and random moments I came up with. I'm not going to lie, it has potential, lots of it actually, but I don't have the time to work on it now.

The story would be overall a light read, it would've been M-rated because I did start to write a sex scene, but it would be overall something funny and cute. For example, one of my favorite moments is this one where Eric almost catches Hyde and Jackie:

"Oh my God…" Eric muttered in awe, glancing at the two very guilty-looking people sitting on the couch.

Hyde and Jackie exchanged a look, they were caught. Crap.

"Is this what I think it is?" Eric said

"Look, Eric…" Jackie started to explain, but stopped when she saw the huge grin forming on Eric's face. She looked at Hyde and apparently he was just as confused as she was.

"You're watching Star Wars!" Eric said in glee "You're geeks!"

"What?!" Hyde protested and looked at the TV, where he could clearly see Leia and Luke kissing on the bridge "We're not geeks, you're crazy"

"Steven, stop," Jackie said "Fine Eric, you caught us, we like Star Wars"

This story would end in a nice place, but... well, there would be a lot of changes.

Here's the thing, I was kind of really hating Kelso (and Donna too, a little bit) when I started writing this, so I chose to write something that might be a little weird for a few people. In this story, Donna and Kelso would have a fling in California, and Eric would catch them on the spot when he arrives to get Donna back.

It's not something Eric would be able to forgive. And even after a lot of talking, he wouldn't be able to get back together with Donna after seeing her with Kelso.

Coming back to Point Place, Eric would try to make a move on Jackie, he would kiss her for like, two seconds, and she would've pushed him away and blurted out that she's in love with Hyde. Hyde would arrive at the basement a few moments after that, and Eric would be completely freaking out. It's a funny scene lol.

Things would get messy for a while, but in the end, Jackie and Hyde would go public and have the happily ever after they deserve, Eric, Fez, Hyde, and Jackie would continue their friendship, Donna would move to California for good, and Kelso wouldn't hang out with them anymore.

There are a few stories that are somewhat similar to this one, like Summer Lovin' by leoasc, One Difference: Donna and Kelso Have a Fling by MistyMountainHop, OPERATION: REBOUND by ShanghaiLily, and there are probably a few more that I can't remember the names right now.

The second story is a heavy one, like, really heavy.

I got the idea of writing this story when I was watching a Grey’s Anatomy episode, so yeah, its a dramatic one lol.

The episode that inspired this story is the one where Richard is in between life and death, and Meredith is the one he chose as his next of kin. Which means that she’s the one the doctors report to, and she’s the one who decided how he was going to be treated. Meredith took some risky decisions and they’re literally the reason why Richard is alive.

I remember that when I saw this episode, I was also reading a fanfic... Being more specific, I was reading The Right Road Lost by zpplnchick, and an idea just popped into my mind... What if Jackie was the one with the memory loss? How would Hyde deal with that in a post s8 universe?

I know there are a few fics that deal with that subject, like Steven Who? by kezztip and Redemption Road by SkittlezLvr79, but believe me, my story would’ve been waaay different than these ones.

Here’s the main plot: Jackie and Hyde talk things out, and Hyde asks Jackie if she could ever take him back, promising her that he would never, ever give up on her again. She says no, because y’know, she’s a freaking self-respecting woman, but this talk would make her think, a lot, because she can see that he actually meant it every word, and she has never seen him this determined before.

As she was driving home, she would crash her car, and things would get pretty serious pretty quickly.

Her situation would be very critical, I planned on making Hyde suffer a lot in this, guys. I’m just downright cruel to him, because I believe that nothing would hurt him more than seeing the person he loves the most going through absolute hell.

Decisions would have to be made, and that’s when they find out that Jackie’s next of kin is no one other than Hyde. After her mother left her and her father went to prison, Jackie asked her father’s lawyer to provide her with a few papers that put Hyde in charge of her well-being if something ever happened to her. She forgot about it after they broke up, and well... She is going to be very thankful for that later.

Hyde’s shocked, but very pleased to find out that he’s responsible for her, especially since everyone seems to think that her death is inevitable and that they shouldn’t prolong her suffering.

After a very enlightening conversation with Mrs. Forman, Hyde decides that he’s not going to let anyone tell him what to do, and that he’s going to follow his gut.

The next few months would be complete hell, Jackie’s situation is very critical, she would go through a lot of complications and Hyde would’ve been a complete mess. He would watch quietly as Donna, Kelso and Fez stopped showing up to see Jackie, disgusted at how quickly they just gave up on her. He would listen as Donna rambled about how what he was doing to Jackie was torture, and that he must really hate her if he’s not willing to just let her go (which would end up causing a major fallout between Donna and Hyde), but he would never question his decisions. He just knew that he was doing the right thing, and no one but the Forman’s seemed to understand that. 

Hyde showed up to see her at the hospital every single day for months. The whole hospital staff knew him as “the Sleeping Beauty’s prince”, and he hardly ever left Jackie’s side.

After a few months, she wakes up, and he’s right next to her when that happens. It’s honestly a pretty touching scene, he’s just so happy and so relieved to see her awake after everything she went through, and they have a beautiful moment.

Seriously, I cried hard when I wrote that.

They would both cry, share “I love yous” and a few kisses, and it would’ve been beautiful, but the magic’s killed when Hyde realizes that Jackie thinks that they’re in 1978. She doesn't remember the nurse, the “get off my boyfriend” incident, Chicago or Sam. The last thing she remembers is him driving her home after they emptied her family’s ski cabin.

Hyde is divided between telling her the truth and losing her, or not telling her and being with her again.

He would let her think things were okay between them for a couple of days, until Eric shoves some sense into his head and he comes clean about everything. After telling her everything that happened, he also tells her that he loves her and he wants to be with her, but that he completely understands if she never wants to see his face again.

It’s safe to say that Jackie’s absolutely crushed. This breaks her, but she had the Forman’s by her side to help her go through everything, and Hyde also never leaves her. Sure, he gives her some space, but he doesn’t stop checking up on her, and slowly, they begin to form a nice friendship.

He takes her to her physical therapy appointments, and her doctors appointments, he helps her in every possible way he can, and she falls in love with him all over again.

The story would end with her making a full recovery and giving them another chance.

I've abandoned this story for three reasons, reason number one being: I was at a point where I really disliked Donna, and her character is not a nice person at all in this. Now that I understand Donna's character better, I refuse to publish a story where she behaves the way she did in this one. I could've changed her behavior, but the whole point of the story is "Hyde is the only one who hasn't given up", and having Donna acting like herself (nice and supportive) would kind of kill part of the plot.

Reason number two is: There’s already too much drama in Map of the Problematique, working on this story along with WTLB and my other WIP’s would drive me nuts.

And the last reason is... I didn’t know if people would like reading a story like this. I was afraid that some people might think that all of this determination is extremely OOC for Hyde, and I can kind of see why they would think this way. 

The third story would’ve been an angsty one, and I started writing it after I finished watching the first episode of season 6. You guys can probably already guess why I was inspired to write an angsty story after that episode...

Here’s the thing: I absolutely HATE the way Hyde treated Jackie in the first two episodes of season 6. I hate that he cheated on her and had the audacity to be offended that she didn’t take him back right away. I wanted to kick his ass for acting the way he did, it was truly disgusting of him and he did not deserve to be with her again after everything he’d done.

I do like that Kelso was the one that brought them back together, but the rest of that storyline is just... yuck. I truly hate it.

I wanted to fix that. I wanted to give Jackie a very girlboss moment, and I wanted to see Hyde groveling to get her back, so well... I came up with a story idea.

The story would be a short one, it would have 10 chapters, 15 if I got too inspired, and it would consist of Hyde groveling while Jackie didn’t give him the time of her day.

Sure, Jackie and Hyde would be endgame, because it’s me and I would never write a story without a happy ending, but Hyde would have to fight for it, a lot.

@snookstheallmighty is currently writing a story that is very similar to the one I was working on. It’s called “Friday I’ll Be Over You”, and it’s pretty great! You should totally check it out later! I’ve sent her a few parts of my story draft a while ago, and I gave her full permission to use it on her story!

I think this is pretty much it... I have plenty of story ideas and many, many google docs with random drafts and dialogues that popped up in my mind out of nowhere, but these are the ones I’ve fully abandoned and will probably never work on again.

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash @angels-from-california @jayjaydawn

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 10: The Flower Who Bloomed in April

Sehun’s POV

Once upon a time, in a year I can’t remember, Lei wrote a note for my birthday that claimed, “All flowers bloom in April.” I guess I’m somewhat inclined to agree. That idea breaks through all of my thoughts and colors them a faint pink whenever winter melts into spring and all of nature seems to celebrate us. 

I was considering that old note while pulling my car into the driveway of Lei’s house, which was too big for just her and her mother. 

“What is this place?” Chanyeol asked, eyes bulging out of their sockets. 

Aware that he wouldn’t rest until he received an answer, I said, “It’s Lei’s house,” and braced myself for his predictable (but still annoying) jokes. 

Chanyeol almost laughed, and he reached over to ruffle my hair like I was a child. “I should have known that you’d have to visit your little girlfriend!”

The tips of my ears burned as I gnawed on my cheek. I didn’t say anything at first. After the incident at the SM Town concert when I made Lei cry, I decided to just let Chanyeol say whatever he wanted as long as she couldn’t hear. I decided not to waste my energy arguing with him. 

I swallowed the uncomfortable lump in my throat. “I told you to drive yourself to your little fling’s house if you didn’t want to make stops.” 

Chanyeol watched me grab the small gift box— which I asked Junmyeon to wrap— from the center console. I watched the smirk curl his lips with the realization, “Oh! It’s the princess’s birthday!” He cheered like he cared. “How old is she now?” 

When I didn’t dignify him with a response as I forced the box into the pocket of my loose jeans, Chanyeol started to count the years aloud. “Okay, so if you’re turning 23 in two days, that must mean—” 

“Eighteen,” I spoke flatly. “Lei is eighteen.”

“Eighteen,” Chanyeol repeated in a low whistle. “That’s crazy! You know, if we were in America, she would officially be an adult now.” 

I squirmed in my seat. “Well, we’re not in America,” I reminded him. I told his obnoxious skeptical expression, “And it doesn’t matter how old she is. I’m not holding my breath until she’s an adult because, like I’ve told you a thousand times, we’re just friends.” 

I almost said, “We’ll always be just friends,” but it didn’t seem like the right thing to say. Always— never— those words didn’t sound right about Lei except to say that I would always want to be good to her. 

“I really don’t understand you.” Chanyeol drummed his fingers on the center console. “Doesn’t it kinda annoy you that there is only one girl who hasn’t been deterred by your resting bitch face—” I narrowed my eyes, and Chanyeol nodded— “yeah, that one!”

I rolled my eyes. 

“Doesn’t it bother you that the only girl you’ve never run from— the only girl you’ve ever loved— is too young to be, like, your soulmate or something?” 

“No,” I answered honestly, “because I don’t believe in soulmates.” 

Probably because I didn’t deny loving Lei, Chanyeol’s jaw dropped. Once I believed that love is just wanting what’s best for someone, it wasn’t hard to admit that I loved Lei. I decided that it would be a shame to allow Chanyeol’s jokes or misunderstandings to pervert something so wholesome. 

Although it wasn’t any of his business, I explained, “I’m not here to celebrate Lei’s passage into American adulthood or whatever the hell you’re thinking. Her Mom is still managing Super Junior’s tour abroad, so I promised Donghae that I wouldn’t let her be lonely all day.” 

“What, so you’re gonna invite her to tag along with us again?” Almost a decade had passed since I took Lei to the Sanrio store for her tenth birthday, but Chanyeol clung to his grudge against us as if we left him alone in the arcade just yesterday. 

I frowned at his childishness. “I doubt that Lei wants to waste her birthday by tagging along on our two-hour drive to your fling’s apartment. I’m just gonna give her a gift—”

“A kiss?” Chanyeol puckered his lips and made disgustingly exaggerated smacking sounds. He laughed while dodging my half-hearted attempt to swat at him. 

I didn’t tell Chanyeol that I had gotten Lei a cherry blossom charm because then I would have had to tell him about the charm bracelet I got for her debut, and then he would joke about that too. I wasn’t a sensitive sort of guy— not usually, anyway— but I liked to avoid as many Lei jokes as possible. 

I continued, “After I give her the gift, I’ll come right back out. Then I’ll drop you off at what’s-her-name’s place, and—”

“You should stick around,” Chanyeol urged for the thousandth time. “My girl has a friend, and—”

For the thousandth time, I responded, “I’m not interested.” 

Chanyeol knew that I was opposed to dating even in the most casual sense of the word, yet he kept encouraging me to meet people who I didn’t want to meet. He kept encouraging me to kiss people I didn’t want to kiss— people who I could probably never develop any real attachment to— people who could probably never develop any real attachment to me. No matter how many times I swore that I wasn’t lonely— and even if I was, shallow physical relationships would fail to fill any void— he didn’t get I didn’t want to open myself up to women who would only ever be strangers. 

Maybe I wasn’t opposed to falling in love with somebody who knew me and accepted me, but I was opposed to taking that first step into the unknown. Furthermore, I knew that I wouldn’t find my soulmate— if such a person existed despite my disbelief— through Chanyeol’s hookups. 

Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t care that Chanyeol and others tried to fill their voids with people. It’s up to others to behave and experience life as they see fit. It’s not my place to determine whether their relationships are truly fulfilling. It’s just— I knew that kind of thing wasn’t for me. I had never experienced love at first sight, and I doubted very much whether it existed, and it was always clear to me that if I were ever to ‘find love’ — well, love would have to find me because I would never look first, especially not with everyone watching. 

“I’m tired,” I said, and it wasn’t technically a lie, “so as soon as I drop you off, I’m going home.” 

“Whatever.” Chanyeol shrugged. “If you ask me—”

Figuring that he, like Junmyeon, would try to impress upon me the importance of companionship, I said, “I’m not.” 

Chanyeol continued anyway. “This is all a waste of time. I doubt that kid—” he was referring to Lei— “is lonely. I bet that boy with the big head—” he was referring to Lucas— “is in that giant ass mansion with her, eating cake, watching cartoons, or making out on the couch since the Super Junior dudes aren’t around to scare them apart.”

With his words, Chanyeol painted a vivid picture that I couldn’t quite erase from my mind. My stomach turned with my failed efforts, so I reminded myself aloud, “They’re just friends.” 

“Believe what you want,” Chanyeol scoffed, “but something is going on. How else is our little princess wrapping him and you and who knows who else around her finger?” 

“Just shut up and wait here.” I jumped out of my seat and slammed the door behind me before Chanyeol could say anything else to convince me to punch his face. 

He rolled his window down to yell, “Jealousy is not becoming, Sehun!” 

For the sake of preserving our friendship, I pretended not to hear him as I climbed the stairs and rang the doorbell. After minutes passed with no response, I figured that Lei had gone out with some friends. Although she claimed Lucas as the only cure for her loneliness, she had surged in popularity among other idols, so she could have been out with anybody. Pushing through my disappointment, I reached for my phone to text her and arrange some other time to meet— probably on my birthday. 

Then, before I could press send, her voice beckoned from the other side of the door, “It’s open! Come in!” 

She didn’t even ask me to identify myself. What if I was some crazed fan? Because it was her birthday, I suppressed my worry with the reminder that I wasn’t a crazed fan. I wasn’t a stranger. There was no real harm in trusting me. 

Still, if she was going to be irresponsible while her Mom and Super Junior were away, I would have to appoint myself as her protector. I would have to drive by to check on her every day until their return; the daily check-in texts would do little to prevent her from inviting strangers into the house.

Nothing in Lei’s tone— except for the giggles, I realize in hindsight— prepared me for what I found behind the door. On the white couch, as if positioned to greet anyone who entered with a scene from nightmares, Lei was pinned under Lucas while SpongeBob played on the widescreen television. I tried to fix my gaze on the scattered cupcake wrappers on the coffee table, but I couldn’t. The scene wouldn’t have been so revolting if a.) Chanyeol hadn’t predicted it, b.) Lucas hadn’t been shirtless, and c.) Lei hadn’t been too busy giving Lucas her brightest smile to notice me, frowning in the doorway. 

Maybe it’s best that she didn’t catch me staring at them. Maybe it’s best that she didn’t notice me until I regained my outward composure. 

Once I realized that I was witnessing the last thing I ever wanted to see— what I was afraid happened behind closed doors— my heavy gaze crashed somewhere around my feet. In the reflective hardwood floor, I met my own downcast expression. Although I wanted nothing more than to forget how I looked in that moment, I couldn’t turn my head or raise my eyes without confronting the fear— the reality— of seeing Lei so close to, so engrossed with someone who—

Someone who wasn’t me.

My stomach lurched so violently with that thought that I gagged. I rushed to pack that thought, which was too jealous, selfish, embarrassing, and inappropriate to embrace, into a box in a dark corner of my mind where I could never find it again. The problem was that no matter how I tried to avoid that dark corner, I always wandered there with my eyes closed. The thought was strong enough to escape from its box, and it was smart enough to find me, and it was quick enough to chase me, and I was stupid enough to keep running long after it caught me. 

I thought that my burning face, which must have been red, could have been cooled by the spring breeze. I thought that I would stop falling— I would stop sinking if I didn’t have to stand in the same room as their laughter. I would have bolted out of the house and away from the spiraling emotions that I never, never expected to experience, but I was paralyzed by Lei’s giggles filling the static air. I was numb with the desire to hear them still, even when I wasn’t the cause. Even when I needed to, I couldn’t walk away. 

For a second, I think, my heart stopped. Once it started pounding again, I found the voice to ask, “What’s going on here?” It was lucky that anger— not whatever sadness nagged from that dark corner of my mind— was the primary emotion in my voice. At least, that’s what I told myself. 

They stared at me with identical slackjawed, wide-eyed expressions, and I had to roll my eyes because the only alternative was to cry or something. I didn’t cry. 

“Hey, Sehun!” Lei turned her smile to me, and I eagerly accepted what I couldn’t return until she hissed, “Get off, Lucas! Don’t you have any idea how bad this looks?”

Was it right to be proud of her for abandoning her laughter for the warning scowl that darkened her features? Was I proud of being the person who, by my voice or presence, forced that distance between her and others— even people like Lucas who I knew were good? Even when I reminded myself that I was just protecting her, I was stiff with guilt. It was my first time feeling that way. I didn’t like it. 

“I don’t care how it looks!” Lucas transformed into a little kid when he pouted. He almost looked like Lei used to look. “Just lay still, and let me finish—”

“She said to get off,” I growled at Lucas, knowing that he wasn’t trying to cross inappropriate boundaries. He was completely innocent— almost to the point of stupidity— and I was perverting the situation by assuming the worst. 

Lucas didn’t argue with me, though. He didn’t assert himself. He raised his hands in surrender, mouth falling open, and that’s when I saw that he was holding a black marker. That’s when I realized that I hadn’t interrupted any romantic moment. It was all a misunderstanding. 

So why didn’t I feel better? Was the thought, the misunderstanding, the imagination that Lei had been close to somebody else terrible enough to ruin the day? 

Lucas climbed off of her and stood straight as if to boast the handwriting (which I recognized as Lei’s) sprawled across his chest reading: LEICAS 4 EVA. Leicas— the word fans used to refer to their friendship and alleged romantic attraction. How foolish to make light of such rumors that could damage their reputations. 

When Lei stood next to Lucas, I saw not only a tattoo identical to Lucas’s on her stomach, exposed under her white cropped shirt. Bright tattoos marked every inch of skin on her arms, legs, and even on much of her face. On one cheek was a sparkling silver heart drawn around the name Baek, penned by Baekhyun, no doubt. On the other was a larger, sloppier heart drawn around the name Ten. How childish. 

As if attracted to the chance to deepen my scowl, Chanyeol barreled through the door. “Sehun, you promised you’d be right back! You said—” He fell silent at the sight of Lei. “What the hell happened to you, Princess?”

A blush broke out across the bridge of her nose as she scratched at the back of her neck. “Minseokie bought temporary tattoo markers and handed them out to all of the party guests so they could give me tattoos for my birthday! Apparently, he saw something in a movie, and—”

I blurted, “What the hell kind of movies is Minseok watching?” 

And Chanyeol blurted, “Party guests?” 

And Lucas told him, “Everyone’s out by the pool! Lei turns eighteen today!”

Chanyeol turned to me with a sick smirk as he repeated, “Eighteen, huh?”

I would have glared at him had I been able to tear my eyes away from Lei. Even while I glared at every mark on her body, I knew that the rage fuelling my every thought was an overreaction. I knew that I shouldn’t have wanted to scold Minseok for encouraging Baekhyun, Ten, Lucas, and everyone else at the party to make their mark on Lei. 

“Come here!” Chanyeol called her toward us, holding his hand out for Lucas to give him the marker. 

Because Lei and Lucas were foolish enough to obey, I had to intervene before Chanyeol could join the trend of writing on her. He probably would have written some insult on her skin for everyone to see, so I didn’t feel bad about snatching the marker and stuffing it into my pocket. “She’s a girl, not a piece of paper.”

“Come on, Sehun!” Chanyeol whined at my reaction before another smirk twisted his lips. “You’ll get your turn to mark the birthday girl!”

Lucas’s jaw dropped, and Lei grimaced, and I would have yelled at Chanyeol myself if Lei hadn’t beat me to it. 

“Way to make it pervy, Chanyeol!” She rolled her eyes at him as she crossed her arms. When she rounded on her bare heels, deliberately whipping her ponytail, I caught the bright pink lettering on her shoulder reading, quite simply, “Yuta’s.” Something about that made my blood boil. 

“Hey!” Kyungsoo’s deep voice preceded him. He stomped into the living room carrying a tray of uncooked meat and pointed his glare at me and Chanyeol. “Who invited you two?”

While I wondered just how many boys lurked around Lei’s house, Chanyeol retorted, “Well, it wasn’t you, Minseok, or Baekhyun!”

Kyungsoo didn’t bat an eyelash at Chanyeol’s harsh tone. Grinning faintly as he met Lei’s eyes, he shrugged. “Nobody ever invites Baekhyun, but he somehow manages to crash every party.”

Although nobody was looking at him, let alone talking to him, Lucas lowered his sunglasses over his eyes and chirped, “I like Baekhyun!”

“Anyway—” Kyungsoo resumed glaring at me and Chanyeol after smiling at Lucas— “I’m not going to allow you two to ruin the perfect pool party that Minseok and I planned for months at Manager Kim’s request!”

“Yeah?” Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed at Kyungsoo. “Well, we didn’t want to come to this stupid party anyway! Come on, Sehun!” He wrapped his hand around my arm and tried to pull me out the door that he left open, but I wouldn’t budge. 

Tugging out of Chanyeol’s grip, momentarily forcing myself to pretend that others weren’t watching, I met Lei’s gaze head-on and said, “I didn’t mean to crash your party. I only wanted to tell you happy birthday. I didn’t mean—”

I didn’t mean to slip into a fight, but I didn’t say that. 

“I didn’t know—”

When I pulled into the driveway, I didn’t know that I was walking into a situation where I would have to compete with Lucas and Baekhyun and Ten and Minseok and Kyungsoo and Yuta and who knows who else for her attention. Obviously, I didn’t say that either. 

Chewing on my tongue, burning under everyone’s stares, I wheezed, “I’m sorry.” That was all I said those days. It never got easier. 

Tugging at the ribbon in her hair, Lei said, “It’s okay, Sehun,” even though it wasn’t— even though my apology was incoherent. She tried to bite her smile as she said, “You can stay if you’re not busy.” I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t smile at me if she wanted to. 

I would have dropped everything, said anything, done anything to inspire her to give me the smile that always used to be mine, but Chanyeol tried to speak on my behalf again. 

Hands on his hips and thoroughly unapologetic, Chanyeol said, “Sorry to break it to ya, Princess, but your Prince Charming promised to drive me across town to meet up with my girl.” 

“Your girl?” Kyungsoo and Lucas parroted. Lucas spoke with an open-mouthed grin, and (beneath his sunglasses) hearts probably gathered in his eyes. Meanwhile, Kyungsoo spoke through a tense frown, eyes devoid of everything but sheer annoyance. 

For the first time I could remember, Lei was the first to look away. “Hey,” I said so quietly that nobody else in the room noticed. Lei heard, though, and she looked up instantly despite the distance between us. I said, “Don’t worry. I only make cross-town trips for true love.” 

Her smile inspired my own even after Chanyeol focused his glare on me. I tossed my keys to him. “Feel free to take my car or call an Uber or something.” 

“Are you serious?” He gawked at me when I nodded my head. “You’re staying? Just because she asked you to?”

Meeting Lei’s smile, I reasoned, “It’s her birthday,” but I knew that I would have done anything she asked any day of the year. Maybe that wasn’t how things had always been— or maybe it was— but I decided once and for all that I would be responsible for as many smiles as possible from then on.

As if he heard my silent vow, Chanyeol shook his head before shouting, “Well, I’m not staying!” He slammed the door on his way out. 

When Lei winced at the sound, Lucas threw a protective arm around her shoulders. Watching her lean into his embrace, I wondered if she would have been comfortable enough to lean on me if I were the one standing by her side. Knowing that I would never reach out to her first, I tried to comfort her from afar by reminding her that she didn’t have to care about Chanyeol’s outburst. 

I didn’t get the chance to say anything. Kyungsoo filled the silence. “If you’re going to stay, Sehun, do me a favor. Grab the other tray off the kitchen counter. And Lei—” his entire face changed— brightened— when he said her name. I wondered if I ever looked that happy when I said it. “Can you grab the cup of sliced watermelon and give it to Mark?”

Stepping out of Lucas’s embrace, Lei winked at Kyungsoo and saluted him. “You got it, Soo!”

Because he was usually opposed to being called anything other than Kyungsoo or D.O., I almost expected him to correct her or at least tell her not to wink at him. He didn’t. Kyungsoo winked back at her. “Lucas, can you come open the back door for me?”

Lucas ran to help Kyungsoo, and I followed Lei as she skipped into the kitchen. She spun behind the counter, grabbed the clear plastic cup containing sliced watermelon, and— after popping a piece into her mouth— caught me staring at her. Eyes widening, she held the cup out to me and offered through her mouthful, “Want one?”

I shook my head, and she shrugged, giggling, “Your loss, Sehun!”

She was set to dash out the back door, but she stopped when I asked, “Why don’t I have a nickname?”

“What?” She blinked at me, smile fading until I grinned at her. With my encouragement, she smiled that genuine smile that deepened her laugh lines and wrinkled her eyes. 

“You call Minseok ‘Minseokie,’ Kyungsoo ‘Soo,’ and Baekhyun—” I pointed to the silver heart on her cheek— “‘Baek.’ So why am I just plain old Sehun?”

“I dunno.” She furrowed her brow and looked up at me. “What do you want me to call you?”

I mimicked her tone. “I dunno. I can’t come up with my own nickname, Lei.”

She pointed out, “You don’t call me by any nickname either. Chanyeol calls me ‘kid,’ and ‘princess,’ but you’ve always called me Lei.”

As if she didn’t know, I told her, “Chanyeol calls you those things just to be an asshole.” 

She playfully gasped, “Language, Sehun!” She swatted at me and laughed when I cried out in exaggerated pain. 

To get our conversation back on track, I said, “Everyone else calls you Lei.”

She said, “Well, you’re not everyone else to me, Sehun,” with such an emphasis on my name that I swear I felt it all at once— every emotion she ever spent on me. To this day, I haven’t stopped feeling it. 

Trying to distract myself, I reached for the other tray that Kyungsoo piled high with meat. I tried not to cringe when I confessed, “I’ll always call you Lei because it’s the prettiest name I’ve ever heard.” And while she was busy gawking at me, I took the chance to run away in the futile hope of escaping further embarrassment. 

I have always regretted leaving Lei alone in the kitchen because of how nearly impossible it was to get her attention outside where NCT boys seemed to multiply by the second. After dropping the tray off with Kyungsoo, who manned the grill while wearing a novelty apron whose punchline made no sense, I sat back in a lounge chair under an orange umbrella and tried to calm the weird palpitations in my chest. 

From that chair, I watched Minseok make his rounds around the pool with a handheld camcorder. A smile grew on his face when we locked eyes, and he almost tackled one of the NCT kids— Taeyong, I think— on his way over to me. 

Holding the camera just inches from my face, he asked, “Is there anything you wanna say to the birthday girl?”

I stuttered, “Um— happy birthday— Minseok, what are you doing?”

“I’m immortalizing the best pool party ever!” He whirled around to capture footage of Johnny leaping off of the diving board. “Oh, look!” He whirled around again to record Lei walking out of the house, cup of watermelon in hand. “Here comes the birthday girl!”

Her surprised expression was short-lived. Her free hand waved to the camera as she asked, “Aren’t you hot, Sehun?”

As a matter of fact, even when shielded by the umbrella, I was in danger of sweating to death. Still, I politely shook my head. “I’m fine, birthday girl.” 

“You’re supposed to always call me Lei, remember?” Lei teased, and — of course— Minseok cackled as he filmed my resulting blush. “Seriously, Sehun, if you’re hot, you can borrow some swim trunks from Lucas’s room and jump in the pool.”

I repeated, “Lucas’s room?” but Lei didn’t respond, and Minseok didn’t film my stunned reaction because he was too focused on the boy who approached Lei. 

“Whatcha doing there, Ten?” She took a cautious step away from him, and he batted his eyelashes as he smiled at her. 

“Turn around, Lei,” he bossed. “I wanna give you another tattoo.” 

Her bangs fell into her eyes when she shook her head. Cupping her cheek, she replied, “I think you gave me enough of a token to remember this day by, thanks.” 

Minseok, Ten, and I snorted. 

“I’m being serious this time,” Ten swore, smile melting into an earnest expression that almost anyone would fall for. “Turn around, and I’ll give you a serious tattoo.”

Lei rubbed the base of ner neck and averted her gaze from him. She said nothing until I urged, seeing that curious spark in her eyes, “Go for it.” She and Ten turned to face me, and I promised, “If he draws something stupid, I’ll mark it out.”

Ten brandished a glittering sky blue marker, and Lei turned her back to him with a weary sigh. “If you draw something stupid, Ten, I’ll kick your ass.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Ten grabbed Lei by the waist to pull her closer. When he glanced over at me and caught my cautionary scowl, he smirked. “You and your boyfriend have me absolutely terrified, Lei. I’ll be a good boy.”

“Boyfriend?” Lei repeated in a gasp. She looked back at Ten, followed his gaze to me, and went pink in the face. “Oh.” A tiny smile played on her lips after she looked away from me. She never reacted that way when people mistook Lucas for her boyfriend. “Get your facts straight, Ten. Sehun is my Guardian Angel. Don’t taint our pure loving friendship with your filthy mind.”

Minseok repeated, “Guardian Angel,” looking to me for a reaction. I shrugged and looked away from him, but my smile spoke for itself. 

“Oh, I see.” Ten nodded, still smirking. “How sweet. Anyway, what do you want me to draw?”

Lei shrugged. “You’re the artist, aren’t ya?”

“Well, you didn’t like my last masterpiece.” Ten traced his thumb over his heart on her cheek and laughed when she swatted him away. “So help me out a bit here. What’s your favorite thing in the world?”

Again, Lei shrugged, and Ten turned to me. “Well, what do you think, Guardian Angel? What’s Lei’s favorite thing?”

I didn’t have to glance up to see its faint shape in the sky to know the answer. “The moon.” 

“How ‘bout it, Lei?” Ten barely glanced at her smile before penning a small crescent moon on the nape of her neck. After dropping the marker into the pocket of his black swim trunks, he puckered his lips to blow air on the tattoo. 

Before I could scold him (and Minseok for filming such promiscuity) Lei rounded on Ten. “That wasn’t a part of the deal, you pervert!” 

The flames in her eyes should have scalded him, but Ten didn’t flinch as he hummed, “I dunno what you’re talking about, silly.” He was bold enough to smile at her, and something about that gesture slightly quelled the fire in her eyes. “I was just helping the ink dry!”

Unconvinced, Lei blinked at him, and Ten winked at her before strutting away. Peering into Minseok’s camera, she griped, “The nerve of some boys!” and giggled before walking off, I assumed, to find Mark and give him the cup of sliced watermelon. 

I swear, Minseok winked at me before he left in pursuit of the next exciting exchange to immortalize on tape. As I sat back in my chair, trying to come to terms with the fact that I had just watched somebody flirt with Lei out in the open, Lucas crash-landed into the chair nearest to me. 

The chair was far away enough that he had to raise his voice to talk to me. “If you’re hot, you can get some swim trunks out of my room.”

“Your room?” I raised an eyebrow at him, but he wasn’t looking at me.

“Yep.” He rested his hands behind his head. “My room has an Avengers poster on the door, so—”

I interrupted to ask, “You have a bedroom in Lei’s house?”

Lucas nodded like it wasn’t a big deal. When I rolled my eyes and started slipping into annoyance, Lucas swore, “My intentions— they’re still friendly.”

Flatly, I told him, “Friends usually don’t move in together as teenagers.” I don’t know how true that is, but I believed it when I said it. 

“Then maybe my intentions are — what’s the word? — familial.” 

When I didn’t respond except to cross my arms over my chest, Lucas leaned over his seat to whisper— if you can really call it a whisper when he talked so loudly, “There is nobody here that you should be jealous of. We’re all friends, and everyone knows that Lei is totally hot—” I grimaced— “and sure, some of us are dumb enough to try to take a shot with her, but we all know about her dating ban. We all know that she would only make an exception for one person. None of us have been dumb enough to believe even for a second that the exception would be us.”

I started to tell him that I wasn’t jealous of anybody, but the words died in my mouth when I caught him looking at me over his glasses as if to imply that I was the one for whom she would cast aside logic and principles. 

Although Lucas hadn’t said so explicitly, I hissed, “You should do a better job of guarding her secrets.” 

Leaning back into his seat, he replied, “She doesn’t consider her feelings for you a secret.”

I couldn’t argue because he was right. As if it were all too easy— as if she couldn’t keep the words to herself— as if she didn’t want to leave the words unsaid— she told me, “You’re the handsomest person I’ve ever seen,” and “I haven’t outgrown my crush on you,” and, “I love you,” and she said my name in that way that made my heart swell, and—

I almost think that if somebody loves you the way Lei loved me, you have to surrender to love too. Maybe not at first, maybe not all at once, but eventually all of those years of being loved so completely, so unconditionally— they surrounded me, and maybe I didn’t want them to end. 

In that moment when I couldn’t quite admit that I would also make an exception for one person, I could admit that if Lei wanted to love me where the whole world could watch— if she wanted to follow me again— if she wanted to hold my hand in the dark again— if she wanted to lean on my shoulder and trust me with all of her troubles again— if she wanted to take the first step toward me, I would never again try to stop her. 

I was distracted from my romantic thoughts by an ear-splitting scream, a loud splash, and Lucas scrambling to sit upright in his chair and yell, “Dude, Johnny, Lei can’t swim!”

I could only shake my head. How stupid to live in a house with a huge pool without learning to swim. Obviously, I set aside my frustration and fascination that Lei had lived through childhood to jump out of my chair. I would have dove into the pool— wearing my jeans with my phone and her gift tucked into the pockets— but I stood still once Lei resurfaced, clinging to Johnny. They laughed so hard that water shot out of their noses. 

Once I sat back in my seat and started to catch my breath, I mentally cursed Lei for being so irresponsible. Maybe she could stand to be careless enough to laugh in the face of near-death, but I couldn’t stand to watch it. If I was going to love her— out loud or in that dark corner of my mind— she needed to be more careful for my sake. 

As soon as she found her footing in the shallow waters, she struck Johnny’s arm once, twice, three times until— still laughing— he finally released her from his embrace and allowed her to climb out of the water. 

Staring down at him from higher ground, she yelled, “You ruined my shirt, Johnny!” And she wasn’t wrong. The white cropped top— now translucent— clung to her body like a second skin. 

“Sorry!” Johnny grinned at her, and— again— the rage in her eyes was extinguished. “I didn’t really think about that when I pulled you into the water.” Johnny was polite enough to train his eyes on her face, but I noticed that many of the other boys allowed their eyes to drift lower. 

Lei must have noticed too. After sticking her tongue out at Johnny, earning more of his boisterous laughter, she retreated to an abandoned corner by the pool. After ensuring that nobody was watching, she peeled off the white shirt to reveal the top half of her black bathing suit. Somehow, to my disappointment, all of her tattoos remained intact after being submerged in water. 

From his place in the center of the pool, where he laid in a pink donut-shaped inner tube, Baekhyun whistled, “Take it off, Lei!”

When all heads turned to her at Baekhyun’s urging, she pressed the soaked shirt flat against her chest and dashed toward me and Lucas. It was kind of funny, charming in a way, that she could be so modest at a pool party where everyone— excluding me, Kyungsoo, and Minseok— was proudly shirtless. 

Lucas said, “She’s really something, isn’t she?” 

My face burned scarlet with the realization that anybody could have caught me staring at her. Anybody could have misinterpreted my motivations. Before I could say anything to Lucas, Lei was in earshot. I had to swallow my embarrassment. 

“Move over, Lucas,” she wheezed, standing over him. When he only grunted in response, she frowned and climbed over one of his legs— which were placed on either side of the chair— to sit between them. She crossed her legs and turned her back to the pool. 

“Are you asleep or something?” Lei leaned forward to lift his sunglasses, but Lucas swatted her hand away. 

“No,” he answered, “I’m just trying to relax, and—” Lei lifted his sunglasses anyway, and Lucas whined, “back up, dude! You’re dripping pool water all over me!”

“Boohoo,” Lei mocked, poking her bottom lip into a pout. “I just got yanked into the pool by goofball Johnny, and then Baekhyun saw my bathing suit, and—”

“Dude.” Lucas’s calm voice thawed the anxiety etched into Lei’s features. More than ever, it was clear why they were close. “You look great! Calm down a bit.”

Lei raised her eyebrows uncertainly, tracing one of the tattoos on her thigh. “Really? You think I look great?”

Something about that bothered me. Did Lei have no idea that she was beautiful? Did the voices of those bullies from her trainee days still follow her? Had she fallen into the trap of reading online hate comments? 

I didn’t know, and I never would have known how to approach the topic. I never would have known how to convince her that she was radiant inside and out. I get that beauty is usually one of those subjective concepts, but, objectively, Lei was beautiful. Anyone could have seen it from her ability to draw everyone’s attention without saying a word. 

“Yeah!” Lucas assured her with a smile. “Who knows how many people were checking you out!”

I knew that he was eyeing me behind his reflective lenses, so my eyes darted away from their scene to look up at the sky. 

Lei clicked her tongue. “I don’t want people to check me out—”

Before she could finish her complaint and I could feel culpable for my part in making her so neurotic, Kyungsoo tripped toward us, flip-flops slapping against the wet pavement. “I heard a scream and a splash and Baekhyun’s whistle! I would have come to check on you earlier, but the pork— I—” His eyebrows twitched as he took in Lei’s disheveled appearance. “What happened to you?”

Lei seemed reluctant to fuel Kyungsoo’s protective rage. She passed her shirt to Lucas and mumbled, “Wring that out, please.” 

I knew that Kyungsoo would stand there, crossing his arms and tapping his foot, until he received an answer, and then lunch would never be finished. Stomach growling, I rose to my feet, grabbed the towel that was draped over the back of my chair, and took a protective stance behind Lei to shield her from curious stares drifting her way from the pool. 

Dropping the folded towel onto Lei’s lap, I told Kyungsoo, “Johnny pulled Lei into the deep end of the pool, and—”

“WHAT?” Kyungsoo’s face went white before burning crimson. “But Lei can’t swim!”

Lei forced a smile. “I’m okay, Soo. Johnny kept a hold on me the whole time, and—” 

Kyungsoo didn’t seem to hear her. He waddled to the edge of the pool, formed a megaphone around his mouth with his hands, and announced, “Attention, party people!” 

In the process of lowering my head in embarrassment, I noticed that Lucas was wringing Lei’s shirt with unnecessary force. Lei was too busy drying her hair with the towel to notice and correct him, so I set to unbuttoning my shirt to offer it to her. 

“Do NOT pull people into the pool— especially not the birthday girl! If you do, Minseok will tell you to get out and go home!” Kyungsoo gestured to Minseok, who forced his smile into a threatening glower that probably threatened nobody before Baekhyun yelled, “You don’t scare us!”

Minseok took a step toward Baekhyun, eliciting a scream. I rolled my eyes, and Kyungsoo shook his head before walking back to the grill. 

“Lucas!” Lei shrieked and snatched her shirt from him. When she held it against her chest, what once fit perfectly was now two or three sizes too large. “What did you do?”

His only response was, “Oops.” 

Lei launched the balled-up shirt at his chest, and her visible disappointment only faded when I, stifling my laughter, dropped my unbuttoned shirt over her shoulders. The sky blue fabric suited her better than me; it made sense that she should keep it, then. 

She turned around, looked up at me with wide eyes, and said, “Thank you, Sehun.” 

The voice that she spoke to me with was softer than the one she trusted to Ten, Johnny, Minseok, Kyungsoo, and — yes— even Lucas. Something about that made my heart swell. 

I nodded to say, “You’re welcome,” because I couldn't string two words together to make a sentence when Lei was looking at me like that. 

“Wow, man!” Lucas beamed at me too. “You’re a real hero!”

When Lei turned away from me to laugh at Lucas’s reaction, I crossed my arms over my plain white t-shirt. I guess I was disappointed yet again by her fleeting attention. I just didn’t hold it like I used to. 

She frowned at her shirt in Lucas’s hands. “Well, you might as well just throw it away now.”

“Throw it away?” Lucas hugged the shirt against his bare chest. “Just because it doesn’t fit you anymore doesn’t mean it should end up in the trash!”

Lei’s eyebrows shot up at his passionate argument. “What? Do you want it or something?” Lucas nodded his head eagerly, and Lei shrugged before giving him his way. “Whatever. Just don’t hang it up in my closet when it’s your turn to do the laundry.”

“Yay!” Lucas squealed as he flew off of the chair. “Thanks, Lei!”

Smiling, she watched him dash into the house. Then, she took his place in the chair. She pressed her back against the chair, crossed her legs, and draped the towel over them before looking up to see that I was no longer behind her. I was before her. She gasped, raised her hands to shield her eyes from the sun, and the sleeves of my shirt— which were too big for her— slid down her arms. 

“Hey, Sehun.” She couldn’t quite smile while squinting her eyes. “Having fun?”

I moved a few steps to the left to block out the sun, and she lowered her hands and laid them flat in her lap. 

“I’m having a blast.” Was I being sarcastic? Probably. But I was happy to spend time with her then with few distractions. 

“Aren’t you tired of standing?” She tilted her head aside. Patting the space on the chair before her, she suggested, “You can sit with me if you want. Or you can grab that chair over there, and—” She bit on her tongue in surprise when I sat on the edge of her chair at the earliest invitation. 

Glancing around at the thriving party, I observed, “You have a lot of friends.” Of course, I knew it, but knowing it in theory was a lot different from seeing it in real life. 

“They’re nice.” She smiled, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. It reminded me of the void in her chest that she tried to fill with Lucas. It reminded me of the secret that, at least in Donghae’s mind, threatened to clear out this gathering of flirtatious well-wishers. 

Suddenly, she sat up straight and motioned for me to move closer. “Come here, I have to tell you a secret.”

Forgetting for a moment that I didn’t want to learn another secret for the rest of my life, I obeyed her. She whispered, “I think they like me because a.) I have a pool, and b.) no matter how much they flirt, I’ll never give in. You know, some people are into that— chasing somebody they can never catch.” 

She was flirting with me, I realized, when she winked to mask the blush staining her face. 

I tried to flirt back. “Are you into that?” 

When she sighed, dropped our eye contact, and forced another smile, I realized that she did not yet know that she caught me. It was still the beginning of reimagining her. It was the beginning of the heart-fluttering moments. I didn’t know where the road into the unknown would lead, but I saw no option other than to follow it— to follow her. 

She said, “I was raised to never chase after boys. I’ve only ever followed one—” she nudged me— “and I promised not to do that anymore.”

Even without her pointed touch, I would have known that she was talking about me. Despite the deflation in my chest, I praised her. “Good. Don’t follow anybody. Continue on your path, and if somebody wants to walk with you for a while—”

When she poked my cheek, I realized that I was frowning. Her frown mirrored mine. “Don’t look like that, Sehun. It hurts my feelings.” 

For her, I forced a smile, and she laughed an airy sort of laugh. “I dunno why you’re so sentimental today, but—” her eyes widened— “oh.” 

“Oh?” My forehead wrinkled. “Oh what?” My heart raced with the fear that she was seeing me clearly. 

“We’re on the same path right now.” She smiled, and my heart raced with the hope that she was seeing me clearly. 

“We’ve always walked together,” I told her. “It’s just—”

Seeing that I had gone stiff with anxiety, she said, “It’s okay, Sehun. I understand.” 

I couldn’t quite believe that she understood, but because I didn’t know the words to explain my feelings, I didn’t say anything. 

“It’s probably not going to last.” She didn’t frown, and I couldn't understand how she could smile while saying, “It— we— I know that we won’t be in the same place at the same time forever, but I’m so happy that you’re here now.” 

She was crushing me under the weight of an unfamiliar sadness, but I promised, “I’m happy too,” and it wasn’t a lie. 

Still smiling, she said, “You can walk with me anytime, Sehun.” 

I can’t explain why remembering that makes me want to cry. She was saying something kind— loving— but her words felt so much like a goodbye. Maybe they were a goodbye to days that were already past— the days when she followed my shadow. It felt so much like she would fade or fly away or find another path or another companion if I took the time to blink. 

Fear prompted me to grab her hand as if that touch would keep her within arms reach, within eyesight, with me. Her eyes were rounded and filled with every shining star, and I— I had to look away. I had to play off the act of pure affection by digging the tattoo marker out of my pocket.  

“I thought you were opposed to marking me like I’m a piece of paper,” she teased. 

Probably blushing, I scoffed. “It’s different when I do it.” 

She asked her favorite question: “Why?”

“Because I love you,” I almost said, “and I have to show it somehow.” 

Instead, I shrugged, closed my eyes, and tried to think of a drawing that would compete with— no, triumph over all of the others on her body. Ideas didn’t come easily. I didn’t watch dramas or read romance novels or even listen to romantic music that much (or at all), so I had to card through my memories until I remembered a craft I did on Valentine’s Day in the third grade. 

Then, we dipped our thumb in red paint and pressed it twice to a piece of paper to make a heart to give to our parents. The idea was profound enough, I guess, since it relied on the concept that like no two fingerprints are identical, no two loves are identical.

Bearing that in mind, I coated my thumb with the marker’s black ink and softly pressed a heart into the skin on the back of Lei’s hand. 

I watched her smile at the symbol. Just because I was curious to see whether she would react to me the way she reacted to Ten, I raised her hand to my lips and blew on the heart. She didn’t swat at me, glare at me, flinch away, or say anything. She just watched me. 

Maybe Lucas was right. Maybe she would make any exception for me. That probably wasn’t wise or safe, so why did her lapse in judgment make me so happy?

“Okay,” she hummed. She snatched the marker before taking my hand in hers. “Your turn!”

Within the blink of an eye, she had placed her heart on my hand. I wanted to carry it everywhere with me. I wanted to boast it to everybody, but I didn’t know how to do that. I didn’t know who to tell. I didn’t know what to say to make them understand how much it meant to me. 

Something about the electricity in Lei’s touch— something about the thought that the heart would fade from sight— sent me springing to my feet with the blurted excuse, “I’m not feeling well.” 

It wasn’t a lie. Suddenly, my heart was pounding in my chest, ringing in my ears, and my stomach was knotting and rising and sinking, and my palms were sweating, and there was a lump in my throat, and I was sick. I fished the gift box containing the cherry blossom charm for the bracelet that she still wore— that I hoped she would always wear— out of my pocket. Careful not to allow our skin to touch, almost afraid of the shock, I left it in her palm. 

I ran into the house, regretting that I sent Chanyeol away with my keys until I found him sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the coffee table. 

Through a mouthful of blue icing, Chanyeol asked, “Are you done now?” He glanced over at me and sat upright. “Hey, are you alright? Your face is a little green.”

I shook my head. “I’m sick. I’m going home.”

“Okay. Let’s go, then.” He snatched my keys off the table and stood from the couch. “I was gonna leave, but I don’t know how to drive a stick shift, and—” When I reached out for the keys, he offered, “I’ll drive if you don’t feel good.” 

I assured him that I was fine before beelining to the car, keys in hand.

Chanyeol was quiet until I raised my hand to the steering wheel. The moment he saw the heart, he broke into brain-rattling, side-splitting laughter. “Wow.” He wiped amused tears from the corners of his eyes. “I remember doing that craft in, like, first grade. Your girlfriend is real creative.”

Something in my stomach fluttered, and I don’t think I liked it. Tightening my grip on the wheel, I instantly retorted, “It was my idea.” I should have said, “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Chanyeol noticed my mistake. “Oh,” he nodded his head sagely, “so she is your girlfriend!”

My face flushed, and my heart pounded again, and all I could think to say was, “Shut up, Chanyeol.”