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98shawns · 19 days ago

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some protector. (r. c.)

As the Golden Child of The Cut, you left the Outer Banks years ago in search of a better life. Now that you’ve been called on to return, the ghosts of your past remind you why you had to leave, but also why you need to stay.

good girl/pogue!reader x rafe cameron

chapter one

words: 3241

warnings: swearing, mentions of injury, mentions of drug use, mentions of violence, aged up characters, canon divergence, not beta-read, no use of y/n, maybe too much reader backstory but whatever!

a/n: not me reviving my fuckass fanfiction blog because i’m infatuated with drew starkey… idky i love men who look like they’d call me slurs. i wrote this like a madwoman even though i have a bunch of essays due. whatever! i hope y’all enjoy <333

o1: the little pogue girl that could

Rafe Cameron seems to be someone who does not regret.

At least, that’s what you’d always thought. How could he? Someone who grows up with the world at his fingertips doesn’t have room in his heart for regret. Rafe Cameron was always someone who fought for what he wanted with full force, while always coming out the other side victorious. Rafe got mostly everything he wanted; when you grow up achieving everything you desire, how could there be a chance to feel regret for what you don’t have?

Rafe Cameron gets what he wants, just like any other rich brat from Figure Eight. There’s nothing he needs to feel regretful for, yet the face he makes when he sees you for the first time in three years may say otherwise.

But who knows? It’s not your problem as you catch a glimpse of Rafe staring at you on your father’s fishing boat from the harbour. Why he was even down here this early and not asleep in his ginormous mansion is beyond you. Why should you care? When you left the Outer Banks to go to university, Rafe Cameron made it clear that you’d always be a pathetic little Pogue no matter where you stepped foot. You shouldn’t care that seeing the regret on his face all these years later makes your stomach churn.

“Hey, isn’t that Rafe?” Your younger brother Leon’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and your head whips back to the helm where he’d been perched. He quirked an eyebrow at your scowl as you looked back into the water. “I thought you guys were close…”

You rolled your eyes, “Nope. I haven’t spoken to him since I left.”

“Oh… I thought when you used to tutor Sarah—”

“We barely spoke.”

“But back then Sarah always said—”

“Drop it.”

Knowing better than to press the issue any further, Leon drove your father’s small fishing boat in silence until he reached your fishing spot. He eventually changes the subject to talk about how business had been steady since you’ve been away; how his friends from school still visit him since he graduated to work on the boat, how the sea had somehow seemed more unruly since your father had his accident. So much has changed since you left.

You barely notice. Everything your kid brother says goes in one ear and out the other as your mind replays Rafe’s expression over and over again.

You try not to dwell on it for long. Getting back into the groove of the boat took a stronger priority than your unresolved feelings for Rafe Cameron. You pushed down the memories you pretended didn’t exist in favour of listening to your brother’s instructions on casting the net.

Things were simpler here on the boat. Your family came from a long line of fishermen, so you grew up with the principle that the sea was something that had all the answers. You yourself never had that calling; unlike your mother and middle brother who were people of the sea, you found solace in your studies. Unlike your mother and brother, you found the answers to your problems in the prospect of leaving The Cut; of leaving a life of hard labour behind in favour of a cushy desk job in some big city.

Everyone in your family knew you’d be the first to leave. No one was more eager to send you off than your equally bookish fisherman of a father. He enrolled you into Kook Academy where he knew you’d graduate at the top of your class, despite your Pogue background. You’re destined for much more than what this island has to offer, is what he’d always said. His words rang in your mind back then when you accepted the full ride scholarship to go to university away from the Outer Banks, and they rang in your mind again as you came straight back after graduating to help on the boat.

It was because of an accident at sea… an injury from the boat that even your usually diligent father couldn’t see coming; something that could’ve been much more fatal if he weren’t such a careful man. Ironically, it was the man who made you promise to never look back at the sea that had you come running to its clutches. He could barely look you in the eye when you told him you’d be taking his place while he recovered for a few months. Your brother couldn’t man the boat on his own; the vessel may be Leon’s responsibility to inherit as the eldest son, but it was your responsibility as the eldest child overall to take care of your family.

You returned without question, and realized while you helped your brother haul fish from the sea, that despite all the work you did to get away from the water, being near its vastness made all your worries smaller in comparison. Maybe these were the answers you’d been looking for. Beyond your father, you looked at the sea and thought about your traditional mother who was less enthusiastic than you’d expected at the reality of your return to Outer Banks. You thought about your youngest brother, Clem, a boy with his whole life ahead of him who was probably even smarter than you when you were his age. You thought about Leon, who handled the ancestral responsibility you dumped on him at an age when he was too young to think for himself.

And you thought about Rafe… a boy you remembered having the world weighing down on his shoulders. Someone who was the same as you despite being worlds away. Someone who was the only person that understood you despite being so different. Someone who you loved and hated at the same time, who you gave all your firsts to while swearing to never want to see again. Someone who could make you laugh and cry all at once.

“He’s trouble, y’know.” Your brother grunts, helping you pull up the net strewn onto the side of the boat. You two had been working away on the boat for a few hours and Leon has decided he’s run out of other things to talk about. You wonder if it’s because he can tell your mind keeps circling back to the blond man staring at you from the harbour. You pretend you didn’t hear him as silver scaled fish fall against your feet but he continues anyways, “Rafe Cameron has only gotten worse since you’ve been gone.”

“You say that as if that’s my fault.”

“What?” Leon, never one to be good with his words, frowns at your response. “That’s not… it’s because of his dad or something.”

That catches your attention, “Mr. Cameron has always been like that. He’s a lot harder on Rafe than he is on Sarah or Wheezie.”

You see Leon nodding slowly in the corner of your eye as he helps pick up the net to pour your catch into the last bucket. “Well you should see Rafe now. He’s a fucking reckless cokehead who picks fights anywhere he can. Blame Mr. Cameron all you want but Rafe is old enough to know better.”

Your silence is telling of what you think of it all. Of course you’ve heard what Rafe has been up to these last few years. Try to get away from Outer Banks all you want, but the grapevine is never lacking stories about what goes on in this godforsaken island. The violence, crime, and scandal that happens here wouldn't be believable to your sheltered university friends in the slightest. This island is cursed. You knew it better than anyone, and it’s one of the many reasons you left.

“You say all this shit about Rafe as if either of us know him well enough to care.” You mumbled as you picked up a mop to begin cleaning the boat’s floor, loud enough for Leon to give you an unreadable stare. You glared back at him, daring him to continue.

“I’m just saying,” he starts carefully. “remember you’re only back here for our family. For dad, who didn’t even want you stepping foot on the boat in the first place. Don’t get distracted and stay longer than you need to.”

You’re silent as Leon takes the mop from you to hand you a cloth instead.

“Nothing here is worth giving up the life you’ve made for yourself. You’re destined for much more than this island has to offer.”

—

You and Leon had just finished hauling your catch onto the back of your family’s pickup truck when he told you to start making deliveries. You quirked your brow as he tossed you the keys and a list of stops, “Are you sure you don’t want me to help clean up?”

“You look like you can barely stand.”

You shoot your younger brother a glare, but he shrugs when you don’t retaliate. He’d know better than anyone that your body wouldn’t be used to a full day of work on the boat.

“Just go. A lot of these guys will be happy to see your face again.”

“I hate it when you tell me what to do.”

“Then maybe you should’ve stayed and become captain instead.”

Leon’s smirk is barely there as he shoos you away, and you scoff as you climb into the driver’s seat of the truck. You start the engine and wonder when your kid brother, three years your junior, had grown up so much.

“That little shit… he’s not even captain yet. There’s no way in hell dad would let his nineteen year old kid be captain.” You mumble to yourself, steering the truck into your first stop of the evening.

Deliveries went smoothly— it’s not as if there were a lot of establishments a small fishing boat like yours could rely on. The places that bought your fish were restaurants and seafood stores your family had been in business with for generations. Just as Leon predicted, everyone was more than happy to see The Little Pogue Girl That Could back in The Cut.

“Just as long as you’re not staying here for good,” Heyward, one of your family’s longtime customers, eyes you as he pays. You smile in return and thank him before climbing back into your truck to drive to The Wreck, your last stop of the day.

“Delivery!” You call, ice box in hand as you open the back door of the restaurant with your foot. Faced with a busy kitchen, you call again until a familiar voice calls back.

“Sorry for the wait— oh my god!” Kiara gasps when she sees you and you stare back in surprise. You’d forgotten her family owned the restaurant in question.

“Kie!” You smile as you put the box of fish down to hug the younger girl, recognizing her more as one of Leon’s good friends than the rebellious girl you attended Kook Academy with. She hugged you back before pulling away, holding your shoulders to take you in.

“Holy shit— I’m sorry I just didn’t expect you. Leon told us about what happened with your dad but I had no idea you’d be back to help out too.”

You laugh, “I’m glad you’re keeping him in check even after you’ve all graduated.”

“Of course… oh god, your payment…” Kiara grinned as she fished into her apron to hand you the pay for your delivery. You thanked her, not doubting that memories of you helping her, Leon, and their other three friends out of sticky situations came flooding her mind. “Fuck, I owe you so many dinners here.” She says, as if she was reading your mind.

You laugh and shake your head, “I’ll take you up on that next time when I’m with Leon. He gave me an easy way out of cleaning the boat on my first day.”

“Your whole family is too soft on each other.” Kiara chuckles. “Actually, all of our friends are here for dinner, you’ll at least come say hi, won’t you?”

Already in a good mood at seeing the Carrera girl, you nodded in agreement. You remembered the other three boys Leon hung around: John B. the leader, JJ the rascal, and Pope the brain, as well as the student who would’ve achieved the same scholarship you did to leave the island. You weren’t close to any of them but they did seem to appreciate you as their friend’s older sister who doesn’t ask too many questions about what mischief they’d been up to. The appreciation is mutual as you think about Leon’s otherwise strict childhood being offset by his ragtag group of fellow Pogue friends.

Kiara leads you from the kitchen to the restaurant’s dining area, where you’re met with one more familiar face than you were expecting.

Sarah Cameron, the quirky Kook girl you used to tutor, sat beside John B., casually sipping on her cup of pop before her mouth gaped open at the sight of you.

“No way—”

“Sarah?”

The blonde squealed as she jumped out of your seat to launch her body at you, as if she’d been waiting for you like you were a soldier returning from war. You laugh at her reaction and hug her back, surprised at her presence with Leon’s old school friends.

“Oh my god!” She exclaimed, breaking the embrace to look at you. “I haven’t seen you in years!”

“I know. You’ve grown up so much, Sarah.” You grin and look back at John B., JJ, and Pope. “You all have.”

The three boys turned men smile at you before Sarah steals back your attention, “Ugh your brother should’ve told us you were coming, were you helping on the boat?”

“Yep, I just made a delivery for Kie’s family.”

“Of course,” she started, biting her lip as she took you in. “Did you see Rafe at the harbour?”

The mention of Sarah’s older brother makes you stiffen, and her smile falters a bit before she continues. “He was down there this morning to take care of some business for our dad…”

“I don’t know.” You responded flatly, pretending that his face at the harbour wasn’t flashing in your mind at the very mention of his name. Sarah nods slowly, noting that you weren’t quite denying what she was asking.

“He and I still aren’t that close but he’s been having a hard time these days… you two used to get along so well; I’m sure he’d be so happy to see you—”

“I was wondering why Leon was mentioning you so casually earlier. I didn’t know you all hung out.” Sarah’s lips pressed together at the way you changed the subject. You smile at her sheepishly and run your hands up and down her arms, “Pogue life suits you, Sarah Cameron.”

Kiara calling your name from the kitchen gave you the distraction you needed. Your attention turned to the brunette, who handed you a to-go bag with The Wreck’s logo printed on the front.

“For you and Leon. You’re both probably hungry enough for two portions of dinner.”

“Thank you, Kie.” You smile, ignoring Sarah’s worried expression.

—

After not even twenty four hours after you stepped on this island, Rafe Cameron was haunting your thoughts. You thought about him on the car ride back to the boat, you thought about him as you ate the food Kiara packed for you and Leon on the drive back home, and you thought about him some more as you ate your second helping of dinner at home.

You tried to keep up with your mom’s questions about your day on the boat, “Yes it was as hard as I remember.” “No, Leon and I didn’t fight.” “No, I am not moving back to the Outer Banks.” Your dad grunts disapprovingly at the question while your mom rolls her eyes, but it was all in good fun. You barely pay any mind as the conversation shifts to Clem’s day at school, and your thoughts wander back to Rafe.

How hard of a time was he having? Ward Cameron was not a man to take lightly, and there was no doubt that he was the cause of Rafe’s suffering. Rafe… a pitiful Kook who was much more sensitive than he’d like to admit. Rafe with the world stacked up on his shoulders, Rafe who would make you hug his body and kiss his temple to keep his worries away. Rafe, a man so vulnerable that his guard was up even to you, the only other person he knew who truly understood him.

Dinner ends as quick as it begins, and your mom tells you to wash the day off in the shower. Dad discusses business with Leon, who reminds you to set your alarm for another early day tomorrow. Your baby brother Clem starts the dishes. Life is simple back at the Outer Banks, yet your feelings about it remain complicated.

You wash the smell of sweat and salt from your body, the warm water soothes your soreness. Rafe still swims in your mind; everyone on this island looked at you like you were the answer to all their problems, but you knew your return wasn’t going to fix anything. Your presence wasn’t going to fix your dad’s broken body, it wasn’t going to make the sea any less unruly, and it definitely was not going to help Rafe Cameron out of his troubled lifestyle.

You get dressed into your pyjamas after you finish showering and enter your time capsule of a room. Stupid posters from magazines that you and your friends at Kook Academy liked littered your walls, and knick knacks your mom bought you were strewn throughout the room as small presents to remind you that you were her only daughter and that she wasn’t just some strict, domineering presence in your life.

Everything you’d gotten from three years of being with Rafe was thrown out in a fit of rage when you two had fallen out, all except for one gift: a necklace he’d bought you for your one year anniversary.

The piece of jewelry hung on your bedside lamp, and you toyed with it as you wondered what exactly your relationship with Rafe was back then for him to buy you something that you’d like so much. Looking back, a chain with a singular Pearl strewn on it is barely enough to count as a thoughtful gift, but you still wore it every day while you were with Rafe. He knew you’d love it, something simple and inconspicuous while still showing that he cared… a Pearl, which reminded you of the sea your family devoted their lives to, and a Pearl that represented Rafe’s loyalty and love towards you, despite the mutual ambiguity towards your relationship.

You sigh as you realize that if you really didn’t care about Rafe like you said you did, you would’ve thrown this necklace away years ago. How could you forget about a boy who you gave all your firsts to? The boy who felt more abandoned by your absence than your own family?

You study the necklace some more, but the sound of a tapping at your window makes you jump up in surprise.

In a sight familiar and unfamiliar all at once, you turn to your window to see Rafe Cameron staring at you from behind the glass, his expression filled with the same look of regret as when you saw him on the harbour.

#WHERE MY RAFE GIRLS AT IK YOURE HEREEEEE

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98shawns · 20 days ago