#this is a problem of my own creation

[fieldsofview]

I think my sense of scale is so skewed now

Because I'll look at a fic that is like 150k words and tagged with "slow burn"

and then they'll get together like 2/3 of the way through

and I'll go "wow, that was fast"

because I'm also used to reading 500k, 600k, 700k fics where they don't even have a first kiss until the last chapter

[myloveasrare]

I need to stop logging onto tumblr.

[lemons-kid]

Can’t sleep, must reblog good artwork

I love your art :)

Also 2 things uhhh

1: We saw how all the adults reacted to clover’s parents but what about OUR BEST FRIEND the 7th fallen and melty siblings initial reactions (we saw kanako’s but only after presumably some amount of time passed)

2: everyone on a super crowded sofa for movie night :) jus all squeezed up :)

fambily :)

[zombiedotpng]

trying to draw but was overcome with the hubris of Frankenstein and the reluctant understanding of his creation

[sp00ky-scary]

I wanna rant about how people will use the term "seperate the art from the artist" and then talk about fucking JK Rowling however I think I'll sound too much like an asshole so I'm just going to say I think it's super fucked up when people say "seperate the art from the artist" when talking about a bigot who is alive and whos bigotry is so ingrained in their works that even when they aren't actively involved in something it is still present. It shows a misunderstanding of what the term means and a disregard for the people that person is harming and in the case of Harry Potter has become an excuse for people to continue supporting and funding a known transphobe and all round bigot and her works that aren't even that fucking good.

[tleeaves]

Damn, I'm looking back at some of my fandom/media discussion posts from 2023 in particular on TSC and The Hunger Games, and wow. Past Me really cooked. Why do I only reblog other people's stuff with minimal tags these days? Where did all that energy and passion to do original character and text analyses go?

[ssruis]

(Re: tsukasa post) if you wanted to be a little uncharitable you *could* say that tsukasa cares for others just because it lines up with his goals - as in, he cares for others because he believes that’s what a star should do - rather than just genuine kindness and goodwill, but I would argue

- wrt loved ones: saki specifically (& to a lesser extent toya just because they interact less) is the greatest counterpoint against that interpretation. He wants to be the best brother possible because he loves her, not because it’s what a star should be doing (gestures at the doll event where he brought her the dolls as a kid even before he started the whole I am a world future star thing). Like yes he views that as something he *should* be doing but that’s because he believes that’s what you should do for your loved ones. I think at this point the big brother-dream of being a star thing are so irreversibly intertwined that they’re kind of one and the same. Of course a star would care for others because tsukasa cares for others and he views himself as a star etc etc. He wants to look out for/do things for his siblings/friends because he loves them.

- I guess you could argue him doing the same for strangers is solely because it upholds his star persona/image? But to that I would point out that his whole “I realized my real dream was to make others smile” thing in the main story sort of contradicts that. Given the whole “theatre is life” thing he’s got going on I think making strangers/acquaintance/etc happy in his day to day life is just like. A microcosm of what he aims to do on stage. I think he’s egotistical yeah but I don’t think that has to be mutually exclusive with selflessness. I do think there’s a discussion to be had about tsukasa being self-centered because he *is* and he’s absolutely not the completely selfless guy some people want to think he is but I also think that he can be motivated by egotistical desires *and* selfless desires. Being self centered isn’t inherently a bad thing. Tsukasa is kind because he’s a kind person and because that’s what a star should do in his mind. His own kindness is self serving. Does that make sense (no, it’s incomprehensible) great glad you’re following along. Sliding scale of how selfless his motivations for being kind are depending on the person with saki being on one end and random strangers on the other.

- I think it’s inherently difficult to ascertain whether the motives behind kindness are self serving or not. Does someone being kind because it makes them feel good mean they’re selfish? Humans are a social species, we enjoy making others happy because it makes us happy. Evolutionary adaption that helps the survival of the group. I think the idea that true kindness depends on your altruism making you miserable is stupid, although I guess you could argue that a kind person chooses kindness regardless of how it makes them feel. But then there’s the question of what motivates your kindness (a sense of doing the right thing? Upholding your morals? Because the guilt of being selfish is something you can’t bear? Wouldn’t that be just as selfish as wanting to feel good?) Whether or not true altruism/selflessness exists is a philosophical debate I don’t really feel like having over characters from the gacha miku tap tap game. Whatever. Would like to point out that tsukasa has canonically chosen to do the “right”/kind thing at the cost of his own benefit before (giving up on winning the pxl show contest/chance for a big break in favor of putting on the WMS show, which he was a little upset about doing).

I think people tend to err too far on the side of “he’s super selfless all the time with a pure heart” because they don’t want to admit their fave is an absolutely bizarre guy with a massive ego that comes into play for more than just his funny little speeches about being The Most Special Guy Alive which is tragic because Tsukasa Tenma is truly an interesting critter. He doesn’t do things solely out of the goodness of his heart but he also doesn’t not do things out of the goodness of his heart. He’s complex. Layered. A weird little freak. I’m studying him like a bug. You understand.

[ghost-sketchbook]

[wolfgirlsister]

.

[musical-chick-13]

Thoughts on toxic yuri?

One of my very favorite storytelling concepts, I love it when women make each other worse. <3

I do think it's important, for me anyway, to note the difference between a dynamic that's toxic in one direction versus something that is mutually toxic. The first one doesn't really interest me a whole lot, usually because it means one character suffers constantly without being allowed to do anything else--at the very least, it will come across as the more ""normal"" character not really being that into the relationship in question. I need BOTH parties to be unhinged.

The important thing for any fictional relationship (though we're specifying toxic yuri here, obviously) is that it's interesting. If there is no limit to what the women can do within a dynamic, then there are an infinite number of ways for that dynamic to go. And while you can learn a lot about a character through examining their values and positive qualities, you can learn just as much (if not more) by considering their flaws. And those flaws really come out in the case of toxic yuri; characters get to show the uglier parts of themselves in this context, which I am always a fan of. A fraught, complex relationship, when written well, can be a really great way to psychologically explore the characters: what inspires them to act this way? why do they think this behavior is acceptable? if they don't think it's acceptable, why do they keep doing it? what do they think about the concept of love as a whole? how far would they go for intimacy or to be understood? how do they view other people in general? and probably most importantly, what led to them developing the beliefs underlying their actions in the first place?

From a more "psychologically, why do people enjoy this" standpoint, mutual toxicity often goes hand in hand with extreme obsession, extreme jealousy, and a willingness to forgive a whole lot of horrible shit. Which, yeah, in real life you don't want to be in a relationship like that. But I think there's a lot of emotional resonance in exploring those feelings. The idea that someone will never leave you. That they think so intensely about you specifically that they'll break anything and anyone to stay with you. That even if you're the worst version of yourself, someone will still want you because that's still you. Someone knows exactly how to fuck you up because they genuinely understand you. Things in fiction that we would never want in real life can be incredibly interesting or even cathartic to witness from a distance. I think we all feel things that scare us sometimes (or even simply feel an innocuous emotion so intensely that it scares us), and looking at unpleasant feelings within fiction can help identify, parse out, process, and successfully cope with those feelings. And I think, at the end of it all, a lot of people want to matter to someone, in some way. It makes sense that some creators would take that concept-of meaning a great deal to another person, of affecting them deeply-to its absolute extreme through writing.

(And also, consider. That I am very gay. And that horrible women are very attractive.)

[unproduciblesmackdown]

among the boundless billions zaniness like laugh track as it definitely has that moment of expressing "rolling my eyes as The Left makes a kerfuffle of Acting like they have a stance as a veneer over the true belief that [xyz] is cool & chill actually" like what, approximate 0.000% chance wendy isn't, as usual, given the Objective Stance of "yeah yeah ohh we are cancelling involved parties talking about how we Don't watch this But. we all love this damn epic movie & already have it memorized so shut the fuck up, kids today" like. don't wanna really delve into how much billions thinks taylor or anyone is "really" trans / nonbinary like not too much benefit of the doubt in this material including what does provide info abt that specifically

& the general like [head in hands. what do you think any of this could possibly be about (you're the one that made your show at all about Power)] of "yes, it's bad/wrong to be someone that someone has done something to / victim of something" like that to be anti misogyny All Women Must Be Epic Winners b/c there's something to be proved: that they don't Deserve to be victims (of misogyny), not taken as a Given. while when we see some epic winner men stepping on other men (who need not all be guaranteed Winners so as to say misogyny is wrong), that's often Good, well beyond any assumption that various forms of basic disrespect / violation / patterns of emergent/entrenched power difference as Bad (for being things done to people, not for there being people they're being done to), & generally billions has to take an extra step when ppl get shitted on & tell us the Specific Cases when it was undeserved actually & someone was being mean to a specific person who didn't deserve that. & the specific cases when hey guess it wasn't that bad(tm) or when hey It's Okay that you're someone something was done to, in this case. & tell us what we were supposed to know all along like when someone who something was being done to (wrong Of Them, whether b/c they inherently deserve it no matter what, &/or b/c they failed to be someone who could make it Impossible to do anything to them, which, how do you do that besides being The Authority / Superior yourself, exactly? nonrhetorically? what if the in group vs out group / fascism / authoritarianism protected Me?) was actually being treated Too Well b/c ah well the abuse meant you were getting any attention, maybe it meant you were claimed as any superior's property, maybe it meant you weren't Already disposed of, as all Losers were in the end, You're Welcome.

obviously referring to winston where it's spelled out all the abuse towards him was deserved, & More than he deserved in the case of rian having more access & taking advantage of that, all for billions' enjoying its own sendoff there of, again, maximizing violation & violence short of [real violence is physical & leaves bruises / draws blood / Literally kills] which would be distasteful in general But doesn't it make wags look like the winner & winston the loser is that the former's completely unrelated completely impersonal ego blow gets way amplified taken out on winston, the most vulnerable recurring character when spyros as [first & ultimate Everyone Hates Him role] is more entrenched in there & billions still magnanimously pities tuk, as it does winston too, just not quite as much. again that like completely surface level realized power fantasy of forcing the mirror up to the Inferior so they're like nooo my inferiorityyyy & in doing so like, the projection in that lmao, we get it re: the valuing of & need(tm) for such Power Tripping & Reaffirming My Superiority & My Ego Restored; Everyone Claps like good god. & then for all ben & tuk are the slightly softer Two Too Nice Boys duo to the rian & winston quant duo, also like too nice i guess but not as much, ben is in charge of tuk but Any instance of rian being in charge of winston outstrips them in that "yay interpersonal abuse" dynamic, like then in the end billions may be like "yeah it's possible to be mean to them unlike how being mean to winston is actually Nice b/c he deserves everything he gets, we only vicariously enjoy it vs Feeling Bad for tuk & ben sometimes (still magnanimously & it's Not That Bad / just goofin)" like ben & tuk still Fail by not being people it's impossible to do anything to. & not Exceptions who anyone is really being Too Mean to. like if they were women, in which case, no problem surely with a "positive" kind of victim blaming where there is something Inherent that Will be victimized so hey how about to cancel that out there's this special Paternal Protection you Need always, Or Else? :) but instead they are men who are asian & is ben gay & w/tuk & winston nobody mentions glasses or fatness but billions doesn't really do much or very in depth textual mentioning of Anything, even w/nonzero mention that there may be gender & race in this world. a gay man, once. no disability. we just Know who are the inferiors who deserve it when they're treated inferiorly, or if they don't, they start deserving it when they fail to stop/avoid it, but if you start mentioning the factors behind who we all totally agree is inferior like whoa nobody was Saying any of that? being the real agent of oppression on the basis of the factors only You spelled out, much? nonbinary? i never say anything about the Gender Binary when i'm subscribing to it, sounds like You've created & enforced it. obfuscation & deflection onto [so Just Normal nobody has to label, explain, or argue it] couldn't serve a purpose & protect the existing power differences as they are. maybe You're the problem? perhaps you brought it upon yourself & now you're causing too much trouble standing up for yourself while everyone else's criticism is laser focused on you as the prior & continuing negative actions done to you are taken as a given / unquestioned / covertly protected to overtly encouraged?

anyway so wild if the Completely Normal(tm) Victim Blaming is uncritically recreated & oft embraced for "if you're watching this & don't wish you were axe / find him appealing" [billions as a sequence of vicarious power trips] purposes in this series....but a bit wild considering like this is your multiseason show that wasn't just purporting to be those power trips for [enough demographic & apparently specific personal tastes overlap w/creators] & was at all purporting to question the matters of power at play in the material, or yknow, at least to not be completely superficial material while said material is textually & thematically all about power difference being leveraged, how, the consequences, & so on. thus i will have to intermittently talk about it forever like this like lord unbelievable. & the funny little & sometimes less funny less little characters it has trapped in there so that those of us who were never meant to be in the audience can be cursed with this knowledge. like i have some feedback. "imagine not victim blaming" & "imagine adjusting your perspective can go beyond superficial layers added to politely defer to some other ppl while they're present but really like cmon do they deserve that. am i not just saying what we're allll thinking"

[kittlyns]

Thinking abt that time early last year where things hadn't gotten too bad yet and I was finally feeling comfortable in myself and my relationships and my life wasn't perfect but I was living it. I wasn't stuck in my head. And then things went to shit (again) and I remembered I could daydream my life away. And now here we are. Fallen back into old habits.

[comixandco]

i think something people forget about pink diamond is that she had compassion for life long before she went to earth

the pebbles assume steven is pink not because of his gem or aura but just because he says ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ to them, a basic common courtesy that nobody else has given them in thousands of years

in steven’s pink visions, blue is yelling at pink about the little bugs she let loose on homeworld. when one of them is found in her cell, she is quick to check it’s okay before helping it out of the room. even before encountering humans she valued organic life.

even the garden, the setting of pink’s cruellest moment, is proof of her care for organic life. Unlike every other part of homeworld, the garden is teeming with plant-life, which was kept healthy enough that it continued to grow even after pink abandoned it. the only other homeworld structure that tends to organic life is the human zoo. who’s to say the garden wasn’t another attempt by the other diamonds to placate pink after she expressed concern for the life on one of their colonies? or maybe pink picked the plants herself from the many different colonies she visited and grew them there.

pink wasn’t perfect. she had a bad habit of acting on her emotions and impulses without considering the consequences of her actions, and she hurt a lot of people because of it. but she considered all life precious and worth protecting, it just wasn’t until she had a colony of her own that she fully understood that the expansion of homeworld was intrinsically linked to the destruction of life, and the moment she realised that is the moment she stood against it.

[mysticfairymoonlight]

Sable Blackthorn, my sad gay nonbinary goth bard actively suffering in Barovia as we speak. (Believe it or not, there is an actual story reason why they have the most hilariously edgy teenager name in all of faerûn [despite being almost 30, might I add] lmao.)

[arolesbianism]

I may be failing my plan to not make any isat aus. So there's this guy her name is Euphrasie right. What if I took her and combined what could be 3 separate au concepts into one. And in the process forced myself to go back and reread a bunch of shit to make sure I know how to maximally fuck over this sad wet puppy of a woman

[heich0e]

I JUST FOUND A BETTER KIYOOMI WIP WHY'D I POST THAT OTHER ONEEEEEE