#this is a mess tm
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reel life
#my art#hermitcraft#grian#ft. my current headcanon for how gem's lighthouse works#just messing around w shapes n light and stuff#realized i wasn't going to turn this into an Actual Drawing tm but there's no rule that says i cant post it anyway#if you squint your eyes enough it looks done
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sleepy !
katsuki wants to go to bed, but you're kinda hungry
katsuki’s extra clingy when he’s sleepy. you know he’s sleepy because he hasn’t left you alone since he came back from his sparring session with kirishima.
it’s almost funny how The katsuki bakugou who’s so scary, who’s all sharp glares and huffs and pinched eyebrows, is hanging off your shoulders like a big fat baby.
“katsuki.” you start, softly rubbing one of his arms tightly wrapped around your shoulder. he grunts. “you can go to bed if you’re tired, handsome. i’ll come up later.” you look back at him as much as you can since he’s barely letting you breathe with how tightly he’s holding you. he huffs, droopy red eyes glaring down at the sandwich you were making for yourself like it was at fault for keeping you out of bed with him.
“ m’not tired.” he slurs, his hold tightens on you and he shoves his head into your shoulder. his hair tickles and you shuffle to the side a little. he follows.
you giggle to yourself. usually, katsuki would have some qualms about being so touchy where someone could walk in at anytime. it’s not like he was ashamed of being with you (not even close) but he has a reputation to uphold, y’know?
as if on cue, he yawns into your shoulder. you let out a light laugh and he nips at your shoulder in retaliation. “ i thought you said you weren’t tired ? what happened to that ?” you question teasingly, a sly little smile forming on your face. he mumbles something into your shoulder you can’t make out. “ i can’t hear you, love.” he groans, lifting his head up slightly but his eyes are still closed. “ s’cus yer takin’ forever. by the time you’re done i’ll be fuckin’ dead, dumbass.” he says before dropping his head back down on your shoulder like a load of bricks and you snort.
“ i’m done. i just want to go eat this sitting down but i can’t because someone won’t let me move.” you shoulder him lightly, he doesn’t budge, but grunts nonetheless.
“ jus’ eat it here.”
“ i’m not eating my sandwich standing up, katsuki.”
“ why the fuck not ?”
“ because !” you laugh “ i wanna enjoy my food !”
“ can enjoy it just fine with me here. why’re ya trying to get away from me ? s’your food less enjoyable when i’m around or somethin’ ?”
you roll your eyes but the smile on your face grows wider. “you’re such a baby.” you let out a light squeal when he pokes your side and lightly smack his arm, he huffs out a little laugh into your shoulder.
“katsuki !”
“fuck you, m’not a baby.”
“ could’ve fooled m—ow ! oh my god !” you yelp as he bites you and the fucker laughs. you huff, grabbing his arms to try to free yourself of the clutches of this absolute demon. he stops laughing then, grunting and groaning at you like you were the one inconveniencing him, while still keeping his head secure in your shoulder. the nerve of this guy.
“ katsuki.” you groan and he growls at you again, like a wild animal, like he’s daring you to try to escape him again. you sigh “ okay, okay, fine. you win, okay?” you say, admitting defeat while you can lest you have a sleepy, pissed off bakugou hanging off you.
“m’not a baby.”
“you’re not a baby.” you confirm. he squeezes you a little tighter and you sigh again. “can i at least go sit down ? i’ll even hold your hand on the way there, is that good ?” you say sarcastically. you snort when he lets out a grumble and pokes at your side and you can feel the unmistakable frown he has on his face.
“ told you m’not a baby.” he complains but he (begrudgingly) lets you go to let you move around. you turn around and he follows immediately. you have to hold back a laugh at the thought of a big buff bad boy like katsuki following you around like a lost puppy. you hold back your laughter but you’ve still got a dorky smile on your face when you sit down. katsuki’s not too far behind you, he never is. he pushes his chair way closer than it needs to be next to you and your knee is pressed against his when he sits down.
“what’re you grinning about, huh ?” you turn to look at him, dorky smile still very much on your face as you gaze at him. he’s still got that horrible frown on his face but his eyebrows aren’t scrunched up anymore, one of his perfect eyebrows is lifted up questioningly and he’s sitting so close to you you’re sure you can count the exact number of lashes he has.
“nothin’.” you sing, taking a bite of your sandwich. he huffs but doesn’t pry further. instead, he leans closer to you. you make eye contact and he looks at you expectantly. you know what he wants after a second, but you’re not gonna give it to him so easily. “ did you need something?” you ask innocently. his eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he’s glaring at you, he’s figured you out. he huffs for the umpteenth time today and he squints at you harder when you giggle lightly.
“ gimme some.” he says gruffly, already opening his mouth slightly like he knows you’ll share with him. and he’s right, because you do. you bring your sandwich closer to his face and he takes a bite, humming contentedly before leaning back into a more comfortable position, never too far though.
“you always take huge bites out of my food, my sandwich’s basically gone.” you tease, playfully pouting dejectedly at your sandwich, holding back a snort when he scoffs at you, offended.
“ fuck off.” he spits, but there’s no animosity in his words. he resorts to pinching your thigh to make up for it,“ didn’t even eat much, you big baby.” he says. usually he’d have something smarter to say but he’s tired now, and you originally intended to take full advantage of the situation, but you’re feeling nice today. he’s tired and you’ve made him wait long enough, in his eyes at least.
you roll your eyes, deciding to ignore his comment and take another bite of your sandwich. you eat in silence and he doesn’t say anything else after that. when you finish he practically jumps up from his seat despite his lack of energy, looking at you expectantly as if to say ‘let’s go already.” you giggle.
“ i hear you, handsome.” you coo, going over to place your plate in the sink, you could wash your plate later when he falls asleep, probably (if he somehow decides to let you go).
you feel like being a little mean to him as you stay where you’re standing by the sink and sigh. katsuki, who had already turned around to go upstairs, turns to you, eyebrow raised in question.
you hum, placing a finger on your chin “ i dunno, i still don’t feel full, maybe i should make another-"
you’re dragged by your arm towards him before you can even fully comprehend what’s happening or even finish your sentence. you let out a big belly laugh when he grumbles. he suddenly has you lifted over his shoulder and you yelp, wondering where the hell this herculean strength came from despite him being so tired.
“ m’tired of your shit, quit fuckin’ around so i can go to bed.” he slaps the back of your thigh lightly and you gasp, but you’re still giggling a little. “you know, you could’ve just went ahead with out me, i would’ve come eventually.” he scoffs like you had just told him something utterly foolish, like the concept of sleeping without you was unfathomable to him, you smile harder at the thought.
“ don’t be stupid,” he mumbles “as if i could do that.” he adds the last part quietly but you catch it either way, there’s blood rushing to your cheeks and you don’t know if it’s because you’re slightly embarrassed by his honesty or if its because he’s been holding you upside down this whole time.
when you get to the elevator, he places you back down. grabs you by the shoulders and squeezes like he’s trying to weld you to the floor and make sure you won’t move. “ we’re going to bed, now.” his tone is decided, clear. you’re not fighting him on this and you honestly don’t want to.
instead you smile, grabbing his hand and squeeze “okay, let’s.” you beam.
he squeezes back.
#jus a lil domesticity w katsu#i didnt know how to end this#im just rambling please do not perceive me#i wanted to write something for him again#dm the fact thats all ive been doing lol#this is kind of a mess#i love my boyfriend#bakugou katsuki#bakugou imagine#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugo fluff#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#katsuki bakugo x reader#IVE TALKED TM AGAIN!!!
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TWO fairies who grant wishes for you? No, one fairy, plus the guy who lives in her house, hangs out with her when she’s working, and is legally bound to her by marriage
#fairly oddparents#cosmo/Wanda#timmy turner#wanda fairywinkle cosma#cosmo cosma#cy art#remy buxaplenty#cy fanart#I remember being a kid watching this show and thinking ‘it’s lowkey messed up that Timmy just gets two fairies just because they’re married’#especially as Cosmo got flanderized from a cool street smart guy to The Idiot(tm) — how is he still qualified to#be basically a Magical Foster Parent For Kids In Need?#bam he was never qualified but not because he’s ‘not smart’ but because he was a rebel without a cause and now he relocates with his spouse#whenever she gets a new assignment#and if he grants a few wishes on the sly himself? it’s because He’s Above The Law#broke 100#broke 500
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i know glomas encore is over but listen i-
#i’m not over them <//3#i never am#the voices(tm) have forced my hand#whyd jamil grab her hat like that smh#i need to do more of yuusha being on the receiving end of the teasing#bc contrary to what i usually draw#they actually mess with one another an equal amount#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twst#twisted wonderland#glorious masquerade#twst oc x canon#jamil viper#jamil x yuu#jamiyuu#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#(💜) curry noodles#-✦—]
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and that’s a wrap guys!! I’m not okay!! But at the same time I’ve never been better!!
#alastor swearing is my religion#im Brazilian I use cuss words as ponctuation#also I love that he clearly cares for Charlie and the hotel but they didn’t make him a Good Guy TM#that motherfucker still has his schemes and im here for it#ALASTOR DANCING#ALASTOR SAYING I KNOW SOMETNING YOU DONT#“you look and absolute mess Charlie#HE JUST GOING LITERALLY INSANE VANESSA LOPES LEVEL OF INSANE IN THW RADIO TOWER#I WANT HIM TO BROACAST VOX’s DEATH WHILE I SING ALONF#HIS FIGHT SCENES WERE SOOO GOOD#EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT#alastor#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#the radio de on#O ALASTOR TA VINDO AÍ E O BICHO VAI PEGAR VOX É O CARALHOOOOOO NUNCA BOTOU O ADAM PRA AMAR
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Everyone knows that Wayne knows about and supports his nephew in his various flavors of queer across all fics and headcanons. But I especially enjoy it when Wayne knows and supports him, while Eddie is completely oblivious to the fact that he's not straight.
#not in the closet#not confused and questioning#out of the closet but entirely unaware of it#this is also why Wayne went gray#his beloved idiot nephew is accidentally visibly queer in small town america#and even when Wayne has tried to bring it up#Eddie talks about how he also thinks Reagan sucks#he's so close to getting it#but he never does#man now im picturing Wayne being Scary(tm) around town#so everyone knows not to mess with Eddie#and Eddie thinks he's the scary one#wrong kid#you are a goofball made of marshmallows
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When your sparring partner got hands......
#i didn't notice i messed up the layers until too late so i just said fuck it#it's messy and it's rough#just like... heh... i shant say#anyway first Official (TM) destined one art#working on how i want to visually differentiate wukong and d.o. despite my personal hcs about them#i have a proper comparison in the works#wukong#sun wukong#black myth wukong#my art#oc#destined one
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Why are all the Lucifer x reader fics about Lucifer being overworked and busy and that's the cause of his stress/tiredness? That man has not done a single royal duty in years. His office is cluttered with ducks and he's a scatter brained mess at least at the moment. I need more fics where the reader sees the state of his office and goes "oh... my god, he's really going through it". Where's the acknowledgement of his depression? I'm gonna write it myself if I have to damn it.
#that man is NOT an overworked buisness daddy tm#hes a reclusive mess that misses his wife and daughter thats been doing nothing but making rubber ducks for the past 7 years and doesnt#always fully process what people are saying to him#rahhhh idk#mentally ill person wanting better mental illness in writing#hazbin hotel#hazbin lucifer#lucifer morningstar#hazbin hotel lucifer#x reader#hazbin x reader#lucifer x reader#lucifer morningstar x reader#fanfiction#hazbin hotel fanfiction
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Broken System
I love it when the System breaks and gets shut down permanently, but what if it left its marks on its main user? Shang Qinghua won't be able to get out of explaining this even if he really, really wanted to.
#svsss#shang qinghua#I may or may not have a fic idea with this premise#one I'm holding onto for later TM#I need to finish some of my other ideas first#but anyway the idea was that one eye turns into something like cracked glass#if you have ever seen a fried marble it's kinda like that#he can still see out of it fine it's just weird#the cracks extending over his skin will eventually heal but not the eye#also the hairstick was just randomly stuck in his hair as a 'do not eat me' marker#because wouldn't it be funny if he was in the demon realm when the system died on him and left him with this mess#let's give MBJ something to fuss over#mun art
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you're my best friend for the rest of my life until the days tinge purple once again bangtan boys and their songs for armys 💜 (cr. bemyjinnie, merjy_)
#btsedit#dailybts#btsgif#annietrack#userbangtan#bts#bangtan#ot7#my gifs#the way this isn't even all of them#I just picked some of my faves from my Spotify playlist which is now appt called till the days tinge purple once again#this is most likely my last gifset of 2023#year I've retaken gif making after like 7 years? wow#thanks for accompanying me bangtan even if my life is a Mess(TM)#so I guess this is my happy new year to the boys and y'all#bring on 2024 aka the year of 2SEOK!!!!!#what red of string of fate I believe in the purple string of love
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i need self indulgent activities so bad rn. It feels like I’m always saying that zjgfzjhbzfejhb. Anxiety made itself a bed by the front door and everything is terrifying, even when living the safest of lives.
#That sounds messed up.#Addjfgjzdgf sorry that i make a silly Josuke drawing weird with my rambling.#Not thinking about the stuff TM feels cowardly. And thinking about it is paralysing. What kind of choice is that !#makes me mad.#josuke higashikata#sorry lil boy. Ur a cutie. thanks for being a sweet boy.
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"What do you remember of being human, Echo?" The question is out of the blue and unexpected. But Sora offers a patient smile and tilts her head in curiosity, just enough that one of her ears flops over. It's endearing, if anything.
But Echo wishes she hadn't asked.
"Not much. Distinct memories are cloudy." A tired tone says softly, a pained recollection in her eyes and an acrid haze in her soul that endures, endures, and endures, "But I remember the discomfort more than anything. My body always did feel wrong back then. Misshapen. Condensed. Like it was too small for everything buried underneath, and that ache went so deeply some days that it would make my skin crawl. I hated that part the most."
At that, Sora's expression falls. She looks inexplicably sad, as if she'd hoped for a different response, a gentler one despite knowing the harsh truth about the dark future and the struggles Echo must have suffered. "But you had Grovyle, right? I'm sure he took care of you."
"He did, Sora, of course he did." A sigh, a flick of an ear and claws clenched tightly into the churned earth pressed under her paws. "I doubt I deserved his attention, though. I was too busy being angry at the world to give any care back."
In my lore, Echo does not look fully human during their time in the dark future. Since they were Darkrai before becoming human, and as a result of Palkia's reckless shattering of the Dimensional Portal which distorted both time and space, Echo's transformation was broken and accidental. They ended up looking pretty messed up and definitely (not) human. A lot of their characteristics as Darkrai carried over but rather morphed into something else.
And Grovyle, growing up in a world where humans have been extinct for longer than any living pokémon has been alive, has no concept of what a "true" human looks like. The only thing he knows is descriptions of humans from glyphs and texts in old ruins. Thus, he mistakes Echo for an actual human. And Echo, not knowing what a human looks like themselves due to amnesia, accepts this identification with nothing better to use.
#Grovyle: Hmm. Bipedal and powerless. Five-fingered hands. Wears clothing. Has... hair?? This thing must be a human like from the old texts!!#Echo: Sure I guess. Let's go with that.#Frankly I'm much more interested in Echo being some sort of pokemon cryptid than a plain ol' human tbh gimme claws and a spiteful aura#Gimme a severely messed up creature with amnesia and unhinged monster vibes and SO MUCH APATHY#Just the idea of Darkrai being shoved into a pseudo-human body and not remembering who they are but feeling SUPER dysphoric about it#And Echo basically being the most unpleasant person in the universe during their time as a pseudo-human; literally the worst vibes#But despite that a little Treecko stumbles upon Echo and thinks they're cool and awesome cause “wow you're a human!!”#Like cmon you're telling me glyph reading; ruin exploring; treasure stealing; world-fixing idealist Grovyle wouldn't be a fanboy about it#Thus begins their Found Family Arc(TM) and Echo is trapped#Does Grovyle's optimism eventually rub off onto Echo? Yes.#Anyway do you guys want any lore on Echo? Pls lemme know cause I could start sharing it a bit#I have some notes I could post or maybe more art?#kudos to Scribz for causing me to hyperfixate on my emo girl so much (this is your fault)#echo/human#echo/umbreon#pmd ocs#pmd2#pmd eos#explorers of sky#my art
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✨old men✨
why haven't I drawn them together you ask? well thats an interesting question! :D
......
*throws snowball and runs*
#AHAHHAHAHAH#SO LONG SUCKERS#simon petrikov#winter king#winterkov#<- tagging so people who do not wish to see dont find my blog cuz oh boy#so much winterkov#anyway#the reason i havent drawn them together#definitely isnt because im used to only drawing characters alone in the white void tm#look#keeping things in proportion is hard ok#im getting there#be nice to me smH#<3#abpf art stuff ig#i am a mess uwy#im not correcting it.
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Thinking about Rebirth timelines makes my head hurt 'cause if you think about it even for a second, you'll start wondering where the original Sephiroth from the Rebirth timeline even is (considering the theory that Advent Children Sephiroth is the one being a menace to the group in Remake and Rebirth).
There's theories such as this one supporting the idea of there being more than one Sephiroth, but the idea alone can give you nightmares. Like is Sephiroth from the Rebirth timeline just floating around somewhere in the lifestream? Or is he being a menace to another Cloud in another timeline? Is there even an original Rebirth Sephiroth or has AC Sephiroth always been there? Are there even multiple Clouds and etc? On that similar note, I've wondered where exactly the other Cloud is in the timeline Zack transported himself into in a previous post (especially since he was the only one we didn't see when Avalanche was pulled from the wreckage)
#ff7#ffvii#final fantasy 7#final fantasy vii#ff7 rebirth#sephiroth#cloud strife#I love time travel#but put that in as a plot device and you get a mess#it's probs going to be explained as lifestream stuff (tm)#will I retain whatever explanation they come up with? no#“I'll stop thinking about timelines till the 3rd game drops” I am a liar
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I woke up and IMMEDIATELY realized that there’s a specific melody in “We’ll Be Fine” that sounds familiar so I stared at my ceiling and listened to the previous sagas’ Athena songs and found way more than what I originally planned
All of this is JUST We’ll Be Fine. I haven’t sat down and fully analyzed the other wisdom saga songs yet
Reoccurring Themes
We’ll Be Fine starts with Athena’s classic piano run, just like how every song of her’s starts
Telemachus has acoustic guitar in his instrumentals the same way Odysseus does (like father like son fr)
Athena has piano in her instrumentals the same way Anticlea does
When Odysseus was young, Athena was a mentor to him in the way that a mother would teach her child about the world around him
The run down/harmony between Athena and Odysseus when they sing “Warrior of the Miiiind” is a repeating melody that appears at the end of My Goodbye, and several times in the chorus of We’ll Be Fine
Odysseus is the first one to sing this melody, with Athena following close behind to match him. I feel like this is Athena learning from Odysseus in a way she didn’t think was possible (a goddess? Learning lessons from a mortal? Impossible) I feel like this melody also represents their bond, because she loses it in the last line of My Goodbye but she brings it back in We’ll Be Fine
The long, held note Athena belts when she first sings the chorus of Warrior of the Mind is the same note she holds at the very end of My Goodbye
To me, this is her going back to her old ways. Abandoning Odysseus and the way of thinking he taught her
We’ll Be Fine -> My Goodbye
Athena said she can’t sleep at night because she’s worried about Odysseus and regrets leaving. Odysseus tells her in My Goodbye that he can’t sleep at night because he believes actions are what caused his men to die
“Maybe ^^^ if I’d made a different call vvv” from We’ll Be Fine sounds similar to (but not exactly like) “One day ^^^ you won’t disappoint me vvv” from My Goodbye
It’s Athena going from blaming Odysseus for their ruined relationship to realizing that it was ultimately her decision to cut ties in the first place
“Maybe he’d be fiiiiine” run in chorus of We’ll Be Fine is the same as “this is my goodbyeee” run towards the end of My Goodbye
Both Telemachus and Odysseus change Athena’s instrumentals and flow completely when they start singing. Athena’s piano instrumentals shift to acoustic guitar, and then the piano joins back in later on to follow the melody
This could represent how both Odysseus and Telemachus have influence on Athena in a way she never could have expected. She sees their perspectives and adapts to it
We’ll Be Fine -> Love in Paradise
Telemachus calls out to Athena in the same way Odysseus does (similar notes, but the only difference is pitch)
They’re both trying to get her attention. Telemachus is right in front of her, but she’s getting lost in her own thoughts. Meanwhile it Odysseus, Athena is nowhere to be found. Telemachus says her name or get her attention, but Odysseus says her name as a cry for help
We’ll Be Fine -> Warrior of the Mind
Athena copies Odysseus’ run down from “Warrior of the miiind” to “maybe we’ll be fiiiine”
This is Athena reflecting on her past actions. Maybe, she believes, if she wasn’t so focused on trying to form the greatest warrior and unintentionally creating a divide between her and Odysseus, then their relationship wouldn’t have ended the way it did
#I’ve never taken a music class before so if I mess up any of the terms or get something wrong the feel free to correct me#my post#long post but good post#epic the musical#epic tm#epic tm analysis#epic the musical analysis#epic the wisdom saga#epic wisdom saga#epic Athena#epic Odysseus#epic telemachus
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Antichrist Copia theory has overtaken me yall. I was not expecting to crank out a full thing on this, but, uh...if you're looking for one big indulgent braindump on Terzo trying to unpack his feelings on this while Copia gets possessed by a demon, look no further?
Quick context setting—I'm still working out these headcanons a bit, but what I'm generally tinkering with here:
Everyone tied to the Emeritus bloodline has some degree of magical abilities, which were formally "awakened" in an oath-taking ceremony at a point in the boys' childhood. This is the Sight mentioned here (i.e., whatever is up with the white eye), and each of the brothers have a slightly different angle for it: Primo can see into the minds of living things, Secondo can see into the past, Terzo can see into the future, and Copia can see into the realm that bridges life and death—and is somewhat a literal bridge, himself, between those planes of reality.
The Exaltation ceremony is a formal handoff from each Papa to the next heir, in which their Sight is tapped to its greatest potential in preparation for becoming head of the church. This typically involves a delivery of rites, a magical blessing, and an opening of the Gate between worlds (which, in this context, is technically Hell itself).
Basically: mayhem ensues.
here we lie
4k words | Rating: M | Terzo-Centric | Antichrist Copia | CWs: Ritual magic, dark imagery, near-death experience, blood, language, existentialism, doomed fate, whump, anger issues, dysfunctional family dynamics, hurt/comfort. Also on AO3
The exaltation ceremony goes wrong.
By all accounts, it shouldn't have.
As with any long-standing traditions of the church, the ritual had been perfected to the scrape of dust one was allowed to wear on their boots—and, as such, had been prepared with the expected flurry of pomp and circumstance.
The esteemed Monsignor Emeritus, firstborn, blessed with the Sight, had cleansed the air thrice with dishes of althea and frankincense and bistort: enhancements for protection and divination.
Sister Mariella, well-familiar with the customs, had laid down the sigils for the Gate flawlessly: shadowed by the slow-prowled growlings and page-turned rites of Secondo Emeritus, Archbishop of the Eternal Light.
The ceremony, as was custom, was set to be led by the head of the church: their Exalted, sheened in black from neck to toe, the points of his clawed gloves glinting in the lowlight—for whom the Sight of premonition had seemed both a blessing and a curse, and never more so than now.
He was distracted, perhaps. Dehydrated, maybe. Dreading the moment he would stand at the door to the realm beyond—a threshold of time and space untethered—that would soon devour the faceless flesh-form of a ghoul cast back to the shadow (his One, his All, his own); a door he himself, in time, would one day find himself crossing, with body and soul split, head and neck cleaved, heart and mind shattered.
From the moment he'd slopped a spoon through the breakfast his secretary had slid on his desk that morning, he'd known, instinctually, that this damned thing could turn so haywire, if only because he'd been the one shackled with it.
His jittery magic, his restless brain, and Copia—
Well.
Copia has been anything but normal, from the day Sister carted him up the chapel steps.
Terzo knew he had magic—the likes of which few could fathom, even from his sticky-fingered child days. The night the little rat had taken his oaths, the air had sung with it: a strange buzz of sensation that felt like the sun had tipped off-center.
And now—
Now, the Gate is laid open beneath Terzo's hands, the unseen ink of his spell-marks glowing a blood-lilac fuchsia, bright enough to glare violently through his clothes, and the void of Hell itself screaming in its glory—and Copia is not imbued with the Dark One's majesty, as he should be—is no man, is not living, has flames for eyes and claws for teeth and wings like the undead and is screaming—
"Close it," Secondo snarls at him, a blurred tower of shadow and piercing white—
—and Terzo knew this.
Knew this boy-man-beast-hellspawn of Christ-Shadow Beholden always was.
He'd looked him in the eye—kneeled there in the cat's cradle of a pentagram scraped in chalk, hands fidgeting at his cassock—and gave a crook of his head: murled, Ready? like a tease, though some part of him had meant it as, You'll be alright, eh?
But unblessed saints and demons below, Copia isn't.
What writhes before him now is a creature that terrifies him to the bone—one that may not abandon his brother completely, should he fail at this any farther than he already has.
"Terzo." Primo, now: an urgent hiss at his shoulder. "Close the gate—"
"I know." His magic burns at his fingertips, sears through his blood. "That—thing hasn't released him—"
A thing with claws cradling Copia's head like ceramic a hairline from shattering, spitting a pained growl through his teeth.
The sacrament in Mariella's hand shakes. "Papa, what's...?"
"I don't know." The flamelight flickers unnaturally against the domed walls: a great breath that lapses to darkness, sparks back again. "Shit, I—I don't know."
"Terzo—"
"Close the gate—"
"Hell Satan—will you all shut up?!"
There are horns in Copia's hair, slick-red-gold between his grappling fingers.
His stomach is in his head. His brain in his feet.
Mariella swallows. She's always been a strong soul—far more than him, now: level-headed in a storm, vibrant in a fog; a presence that guides as much as it grounds.
"How long can you hold it for?" she whispers, firm and calm.
He pulls dry air into his lungs. "As long as I need to."
He steps forward, spellwork singing in his veins, and lets his hands unfurl. The air whips at his vestments, wailing with the bone-deep unease of voices old as Creation straining to be heard.
Somewhere in there is Copia's own. He'll drag it out by hand, if he has to.
"You imbecile!" Secondo is shouting, muffled behind the blurred opalescence of the Veil: a wall that glows off the circle Terzo crosses, consumes him with the prickling unease of a limb losing its circulation. "You can't reason with it!"
The flames warp again. A shadow like death bends over the walls.
Terzo's no stranger to the taste. His dreams have been riddled with the stench of it, from the day the Sight was force-gifted upon him. And like he had, then—a child with battered elbows and bruised knees; a not-man with awkward limbs and disdain for the old orders of this world; a Cardinal with paint on his teeth and a straightjacket of woolen expectations—he repents.
"I call on the spirits of the Then and the Below." A twitch strings through his fingers: with it, a flare of violet light. "To the Beings of those Beyond, the Eternal, I speak now, and speak only—" The pitch of his voice mangles, ragged with the corded growl of a beast: the underbelly all their half-human souls peel clean, when drowned deep enough in this waste. "In my Blood, see my will. In my Sight, my path—"
"What is he saying?" Mariella asks, her voice muffled as though through glass.
Primo calls a sharp warning: "Don't cross it—"
The air whistles with a faint singing of metal—and splits. It grapples at his clothes, twisting his hair with a gravitational pull unseen.
He breathes in chalk dust, sighs out knives.
Beneath Copia's shivering limbs ripples the black expanse of the Gate: an aether so endless one couldn't capture its history in a millennia: a presence so indefinable that even Primo, with years of such history under his belt, can only stare through the blur, voiceless and rigid at the sight of it.
With twitching claws and lightless eyes and Hell beneath his feet, Terzo beckons.
"Bare yourself to me."
The room shivers. The walls shriek. The flames stagger, flutter, wheeze again—and snuff out, completely.
In the pitch, it is only the Eternal, and the glow within his veins, and the white of his eye, and Copia's beast-man-beast-man-fanged grin with a split lip—
A Being that takes the air of the room by the throat, and speaks in a voice that thunders.
"It is time."
Terzo feels its presence slithering up his legs. The weight of its All on his lungs.
He keeps his hands steady, his intent clear, even for the exertion that leaves his arms quivering.
"Not here," he grits back, a strange echo in the ringed light that encases them. "Not now."
A hand that is not Copia's, is scaled and rotted and red, slaps to the stones. "When?" The shriek hits his ears like a thunderstrike. A chill is crawling under his veins: a heaviness that isn't right, is this thing more than his own blood. "When?"
Primo's magic is wafting through the air—some swift-casted attempt at a ward around them, far too late now. The scent of it itches on Terzo's tongue: dragon's blood, rose-ash, frigid at his back. His own aura swats it off like a gnat, too distracted to let it in, to think.
Fuck, he needs to think.
A stage—
The Being wails.
His downfall—this one's own Ascension—
Ice knifes into his ankle.
A stage and heat and lights and purple-bleeding-black and blood on his throat—a syringe in his brother's own hands, a demon masqueraded—his Unnamed's voice gristling in his ear, Be still be still be still now—
Mariella squeezes a talisman in her palm, smoking sweetly with the taste of Secondo's own protection charm.
"Papa," she calls out: her voice a muddy, drowned thing.
His lashes flutter open, heavy as lead.
"Coward!" the Being retches. Hellfire blisters against its silhouette, a nebulic haze. "Tell them of your death. Of Our purpose. Where We were sewn. You know it—"
Mariella holds the stone out to him, guided through the surging current of Primo's ward. The air wrestles like a gale through her sleeve.
"You know it!"
His claws catch at her palm—not his gloves, but his own, thick and black as talons. The talisman burns a sunspot-bloom through his marrow, bright as a thousand stars.
"Thirteen months." His speech is one he doesn't recognize: child and entity and Bloodline infinite. "On a black dais, surrounded by your flock." The talisman melts like a balm into his skin: an unseen shield that ripples with half-lit iridescence. The chill biting into his skin flinches. "You will know it," Terzo grits on, "and now is not it."
He thinks he hears Copia's voice through the fray. He can't be sure.
"And then?" snarls the Being.
Not a being. Not a thing.
No—this is Lucifer-incarnate.
An orchestration.
"It won't be finished, then." The shell of magic around them snaps like embers in a flame, a jolt wrestling up his arm. So much time. So much weighed down—and he weighs it down, still, his breath shuddering. "You'll have years to go—"
"And then?"
Scraped nails, dead eyes, bloodied horns, Copia—
Secondo's gloved palm tears through the gleam, squeezes like a noose around his bicep. "I won't say it again, you fuck," he spits, the words warped and crackling. "You're going to get him killed—"
He can't shake him off quickly enough.
"Close it!"
Copia's eyes. Copia's soul, trapped in the All. Right there—
His magic flares like a supernova, spears through that gate and holds: a cosmic blast that shouts his throat raw, knocks Secondo nearly off his feet, leaves him lightheaded and with blood on his teeth—but he has him—
"Thirteen months' time," the Being roars, "and you'll be taken with it."
Terzo hisses, his claws scraping at his brother's skin.
"So is the Rule."
The Gate grapples at his silks.
Copia's gloved fingers shake, snatching desperately at his arms. His own voice breaks through the loom. "Terz—"
"I've got you," Terzo spats. Sweat sticks at his neck.
The fibers of his magic are fraying at the edges.
Red eyes glare up at him. "Do you accept it?"
The portal whines.
"To the day it is marked, you'll have it. As it is written." His claws slip on Copia's sleeve. "As it always was."
The Being grins. "And so it will be."
It spits his brother out.
His hold on the Gate snaps like a wire—and shatters the well of magic, with it. The howl torrents through the room with a cello's blare, and whips to a bee-winged nothingness.
With the loss of it, gravity lurches in his gut. He cracks to his knees, catches himself on the stones just enough—gloves still intact, not torn through, only clawed with gold—and heaves blood.
"Papa!"
And his brother. His damned demon brother: rubber-legged, staggering, Copia gasps like a man near-drowned.
Unscathed, somehow—Satan willing.
Primo is across the room, in an instant. "Copia. Unblessed beneath, are you alright?"
"Ye-Yes, yes, I—shit." Primo catches him, his gloves slipping at his sleeves. Unsteadily, he veers back on his feet. "What...what happened?"
It's too dark. Too quiet. Too loud.
Terzo swallows down bile; chokes on blood and phlegm. Mariella's habit swims in his vision.
"Papa," she hushes, clear as crystal now. "Papa, look at me."
Secondo, halfway between them: "Is it gone?"
Her fingers skim through the sweat-dripped mess of his paints: press cooly at his temple.
"Is it gone?"
"Yes," she breathes.
Hazily, lashes flicking, Terzo tips out of her touch. He chokes on his words, the first try; rasps them, the second. "Where's the rat?"
"He's here," Primo answers him. "He's fine."
There's a clumping of boots, a rustling of silks, Mariella scurrying from the floor.
"What in Hell's name were you thinking." Secondo's hand jerks at his sleeve, wrestles him half-blind back into his bones. "You could have doomed us all. We never—never—speak to the Unnamed without wards in place. You know that—"
"Brother," Copia croaks.
Secondo rips his head over his shoulder. "You shut your mouth. I haven't even gotten to you." With a firm grip, his hand slips under Terzo's arm, helps him slowly to his feet. "Get up," he huffs. "Come on. Are you alright?"
"I'm—fuck. Fine. I'm fine."
His elder brother scowls down at him. "Good. And you better stay that way, because I have half a goddamned mind to put a fist through your teeth—"
"Dino," Primo snarls, "This is helping nothing." Years of practice in such misguided events has left him rationed, calm: a quiet glance turned to the pale-faced attendant behind him, who stands shell-shocked, having seen unwantedly the darker veins of their Order—and ones their customs would soon have him forget. "Jean," Primo says, waiting for his eyes to drop. "We will need a medic. Say nothing to the All-Father."
Secondo scoffs. "Oh, yes—Nihil will have this one's ass, when he hears of this—"
"Saints—ignore him, young one. A medic, and Priestess Diana. Quick as you can."
The boy nods and takes off through the hall's doors, stumbling up the stairs in his haste.
In his absence, the room holds a collective breath, the eyes of the siblings still in attendance fixed like rabbits on the four men clustered in the center of the room.
"We're alright," Primo says to them all, in a tone that is more order than reassurance.
It couldn't be more of a reach.
Terzo wheezes a snarl, a laugh. "Alright." The stones sting beneath his feet: five paces that drive him out of Secondo's iron grip, steer him straight into the path of Copia's saucer-wide blinking: eyes blue and white and younger than they should ever seem, in a face that has grown so weathered, as all of them have.
And he knew.
He lifts a clawed finger, his breath too slow. "I knew."
Primo, sharp as steel: "Do not take this out on him—"
He couldn't give a shit.
He almost killed him.
The bastard wasn't living.
"What are you, mh?" Terzo licks his lips, tastes the bitter metal of blood. He lifts a shaky hand. "No, no—what did she make you?" He smears the leather against his mouth, the heat of his stare unwavering, a knife-edge sliced from shoes to frazzled fringe. "That—that Aether just within you, eh? Always that, under there?"
Copia shakes. "I didn't," he blunders.
"This is why she brought you, isn't it? Satan, of course—"
Secondo wrestles for his elbow, a steadying squeeze. "Terzo—"
"You saw it—!"
His brother's eyes simmer: one black in the lowlight, the other white as a moonbeam. "I saw you."
His bites his nails through his glove. Rattles in a breath.
"Calm down, the both of you," Primo says coldly, a hand still on Copia's shoulder. "It was reckless—but you managed. We are all still in one piece." He steps between them, pointedly, studying Terzo's face like a leech. "Your Sight will be strained for weeks, after that. You did not have the power to even attempt that on your own."
Terzo snuffs. "A good thing one of us sorry shits did."
Behind the sharp slope of Primo's shoulder, Copia shivers, eyes downturned. "I—"
"Don't." He drags a gloved hand through his hair. Shaking—still shaking? Outraged—always. Horrified, still. "You're good," he tells his brother, tells himself. "It is all good. You're alright. Okay."
Primo's eyes stare through him, see a bitten-lipped boy with a bandage on his cheek.
Terzo turns away. "Okay," he hushes again, and walks, past Secondo's stone-still glare, Mariella's worried frown, and walks, and walks, and walks—
"You are not running away, now—"
"Dino. Leave it. Copia, do not linger on that, alright? Don't listen to it. You know how he is. It is not your fault—"
"But what—what was that? What happened—?"
—up the gnarled stairwells, out the maze of lower halls, stumbling over the grasses, and sits like a stone on the side-entry's steps. Like a ghost.
Sits for an age.
He must—because, by then, the medics have come, and the stench of that room has been dragged open, and Mariella's whispers are drifting across the corridor's arches—after he's ripped off his gloves, dug his fingers through his hair, tried to breathe and not think—and he expects her.
He expects her fear, her pity.
Not Copia.
The fool's boots scuff on the stairs.
"Is it, eh..." His brother muddles over a breath. "Alright if I—?"
Terzo doesn't have the mind to fight it—not with sweat still cold at his back. He swats his palm, some attempt at allowance, kneading his other fingers over his brow.
Copia slumps down to the steps. Just stays there, in awkward, insufferable silence.
Finally: "Shit—it's chilly today, isn't it?"
Terzo leers through his fringe. "Going to talk about the birds, next?"
"I'm just saying."
"Just saying. Yes—and you'll be singing, after." He combs back the half-tamed waves of his hair, hangs his hand across his knee. "Old chamber smells like a cesspool."
Copia manages a smile, the thistles of his mustache wrinkling. "Bleh. Nasty place. I've always hated it, down there."
"All the more reason to, now, huh?" Terzo forces a sneer of his own, glaring away. He sniffs. Pits his tongue against his teeth.
For a beat, his brother says nothing. Then, his gloved fingers squeaking over each other: "I'm alright."
Terzo chuffs, furrowing his brows. "Barely."
He can feel the rat's eyes on him. It makes his skin crawl. "Primo...told me. What it—well." Copia frowns at his boots, at the graveled path beyond. "Did you mean it?" he hushes, lifting his eyes. "That you've...seen it, before?"
Terzo bites the inside of his lip. "Seen lots of things."
"But—that. It's—I've always thought...er...felt that, maybe, she'd..."
"Sister?"
"Mother, yes—"
"Your mother."
Copia's shoulders twitch.
"I—sorry," Terzo mumbles, shifting his fingers over his thumb. "I know it's not..."
His fault, his intention—his anything, right?
But it is. Isn't.
Should be.
He flexes his hand, pitters his fingertips together. Looks away. "Anyway."
A breeze rustles cooly through the shrubbery that flanks the stairs: a feathered hush along the pines that tower over the grounds.
"Anyway," Copia repeats, shifting his tongue around his mouth. "It's just...you, eh...you have seen it, before," he says again, watching the air ripple through the leaves, "haven't you?"
Terzo glances at him. Sister's sloped nose. A paintbrush-smattering of freckles. The white of his eye, fixed on the swaying branches. Lanky little thing, as he's always been. The mirror to his own placelessness, own purposelessness, own forced mantle he never asked to have thrown upon him—but craved, clawed for, claimed, nonetheless.
"Told you, little thing," he says, tipping his heel off the stones. "Seen lots of things."
"But I know. I've always...felt it, I just haven't—" Copia fumbles, lacing his fingers. "Had the words, I guess."
"Rare thing, for you."
"Shut up."
"Heh—even rarer for me, eh?"
"Ugh."
They breathe in unison, the air thick with it: hope, despair, magic, emptiness.
"When it...when that...thing took over me, did it...say anything to you?"
Terzo's mouth ticks.
Thirteen months. Poison in his neck. His body tossed through the gaping maws of the realm beyond.
He stares at the points of his boots, still speckled with his own spit and blood, and scuffs his thumb at it.
"Eh...not clearly. Hard to make out, in the muck of it."
"None of it came through?"
Terzo tilts his chin on his shoulder, fixing him with a narrowed look. "It wasn't you, Coppie," he says. "Just...forget what I said, before. Old temper of mine, rearing its shitting head again."
"But what if—"
"It wasn't." Terzo plants his palm on his brother's knee, chipped black on his nails, and squeezes. "It wasn't," he murmurs again.
Copia stutters. "Well, even if it wasn't—it—it felt like I was..."
"Delirious?" He perks one brow, fox-grinned in his usual reach for deflection, distraction. "Dead, even?"
"Whole."
The smile wanes.
For a breath, he tries to hunt for that beast beneath his brother's skin—the way he so often does in the steamed glass of his own mirrors, and so easily sees it in them: the spire-teeth, the winged limbs, the eyes half-living.
He finds only a quivery little boy, tucked in the cage of a man's body. The same one who spent years, against all odds—against his own stupid, spiteful jealousy—clinging like a barnacle to his side.
He slides his hand away. "The Sight does it to all of us, little rat. Strips away the Veil." He picks at his thumb, the gravel hazing to a fine blur, and swallows: white stone crisping to clarity, again. "Catch an Emeritus in the right light—even a clueless one can see the Fallen in them."
Copia frowns.
Maybe it's not a comfort. All the more proof that he isn't one of them, as he has so often feared.
The Other, above all else.
"But what if I am?" he says quietly. "Whatever that...thing was? Will, eh...will something happen, if that's true?"
Terzo lifts his eyes to the sky—grayish with cloud-cover, damp with the chilled humidity of a storm along the way, something to wash this whole mess clean—and lies through his teeth.
"Happen?" he snides. "What is this—Armageddon, itself? You worry worse than Nonna, Coppie." He wrinkles his brows at him, his smile thin, his paints half-smeared off his face. "And even if you were—would it be so bad? All of us are hardly human, eh? Perhaps you are just farther along the evolutionariness—the truest Creature of the Night, of us all." His eyes widen, teasingly. "I mean—psh! I will have my fangs, no? And the pincher, his wolf-pelt, and Primo will, eh...Hell, what would the old goat be?"
Copia rolls his eyes, leaning into the cradle of his elbows. "A zombie?"
"Feh—the Nihilist is the rotting corpse, surely."
His brother rolls into a snicker. "Sea creature?"
"Agh—not the lagoon man! We will insult the dear river's integrity, with such things—no, no." Terzo sniffs, feigns smearing away his paints instead of the heat itching at his eye, and smiles wryly again. "Let's be realistic, here—the old gardenia will be the enchanted plant that traps one's bones for the witches, yes?"
Copia wheezes on another laugh.
Saints, he hates that laugh. Godawful sound, a mimicry of his own: a snort and a tea kettle and a giggle all in one.
The brightest sunbeam of any.
"He has to be the, er—the witch, right?" Copia wonders, giving him a teasing glance.
Terzo flashes his teeth. "Now, if that is the category—I will rule above them all, no?"
And his brother laughs again.
Their little brother, little demon, little star. The highest heir of them all, doomed to a path he should have never been put on—as all of them are, in their own ways. Always have been; always will be.
Terzo ignores Primo's shadow in the corridor, flanked by Mariella's quiet eyes. Ignores the hawkish leer of Secondo's folded-armed scowling, waiting to deflect the plague that will no doubt burst into the halls, once news of it all has reached the ears of their Highest.
At least for this moment, he can pretend.
Flit away what is yet to come, like a bottle tossed to the sea—Nihil, Sister, this brother tressed in silks and jewels for a price he hadn't the slightest knowledge would be paid—and goad another laugh out of him, and another.
Relish in the denial that this is all that ever was. Ever could be.
Copia: blushing, teary-eyed but toothy, knocking his shoulder into his—unable to do anything but choke at the idiotic scenarios he conjures for the four of them, in all their monsterly glory. As distracted as he deserves to be, after that wretched thing. The memory of it all forgotten, if for a moment.
And that's enough, Terzo thinks, the cool tang of rain on the gales.
For now, maybe, that's enough.
#writing#the band ghost#ghost band fanfic#papa emeritus iii#papa iii#papa terzo#terzo#papa emeritus iv#papa iv#copia#papa copia#cardinal copia#this is just 4k of whump i truly have no words#🫡#sorry?#buckle up for magic shenanigans#and family dysfunction: per usual#we're on angst train again that when terzo isn't a chronic flirt he's maybe actually a Mess (tm)#they all are in their own ways let's be fr#tw: blood#tw: dark themes
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