#this is a joke. obviously. because only girls can think about rome. hope this helps

[figbian]

BOYS think about the roman empire daily but GIRLS think about the roman republic. or something.

[theyarebothgunshot]

I’d be very interested in your thoughts on the JIB8 cockles panel. just a suggestion for your rewatch 👀

i’ve seen the jib8 panel so many times, because it’s honestly one of the wildest things i have ever seen and i just never get tired of it. 

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 

disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

fun fact: i was today years old when i found out that the airbnb story took place one day before this panel. what a sexually charged weekend that was for them dude (gn).

the vibe that i get from this panel is that their moods were off before they got on stage, and where misha kind of looks tired and not 100% enthusiastic about things, jensen apparently decided to get drunk and is trying to make it look like he is thriving. yet, a little while into the panel we learn that it has been an emotional rollercoaster of a day for him, which might have something to do with the overall mood. then again, it could be that something else happened in between the autographs and that panel, who is to say?

i have talked about the d/s subtones in their interactions before and this panel makes my radar ping like nobody’s business. if my interpretation of their dynamics is right, then one could assume that jensen was being very bratty on purpose, trying to stir up a reaction in misha, and i think he probably got what he wanted (more or less. maybe he thought misha would find it more amusing than he did, or but honestly, at that point they have already known each other for nearly 10 years so odds are he knew what he was doing and how misha would react to it. it would surprise me greatly if these two didn’t work out their mutual frustrations with the day and each other after this panel ended- in the bedroom.)

i genuinely think i have never seen jensen flirt more openly and aggressively with misha, ever, and i have never seen misha in the state he was in during this panel either: tired, a little annoyed about the fact that jensen was going off the deep end and that he was not able to stop him, to the point where he just gives up and says things like ‘when in rome’ etc. let’s get into it. 

the mood is set from the very first second: misha is kinda subdued, and jensen is being a bit of a clown, coaxing misha to join him in the madness, which he does to a certain extent. 

we are off to a great start with not just one [0m15s], but two [0m20s] moments in which i just know in my bones they wanted to hold hands. how do i know? because i have been there my fucking self. wanting to hold hands with your crush when you are drunk and acting silly is a love language okay.

as soon as they sit down, misha tries to make conversation and jensen just starts pushing him and pushing him, [1m11s] saying ‘shut up’ and ‘yeah it’s really stupid and it embarrasses me’, but misha tries to ignore it at first and just marches on through. which is probably why i never see people talk about that little comment. it embarrasses jensen when misha sits like that? why would he need to feel embarrassed by his friend’s actions? kinda weird tbh, sounds like husband behavior to me. i have a feeling that when misha said ‘by which he means it’s an innie’, jensen REALLY had to bite on his tongue not to go all ‘you weren’t complaining this morning’ or something like that. look at his face bro [1m55s]. 

and then jensen opens up his legs like the little tramp (affectionate) that he is and when misha tries to stop him he just TURNS to misha with said open legs like a mad man and goes ‘here’s the thing. pick a leg.’ [2m05s] LIKE? who DOES THAT? that is insane people behavior!!! admittedly i am a cis woman and i don’t have conversations with male friends about their bodily anatomy all that often, but i legit cannot phatom that this is a normal thing to talk about with your platonic buddy. pick a leg for me to rest my dick on, old buddy old pal. NOBODY DOES THAT. it’s not even something that i would consider flirting because even though i am into men, i would not find that arousing? so it’s either an action to provoke annoyance in misha or it’s something they have discussed before or both. because misha immediately understands what he means, starts shaking his head in frustration, and actually turns to jensen as if to say ‘are you fucking kidding me right now? really? you are really doing this?’ followed by a ‘this is making me feel so uncomfortable’ aka one of the phrases they both like to use even though they never mean it. 

then when jensen actually goes up to do his ridiculous mating dance and sits back down again, he automatically sits down with his body turned towards misha. 

quick side note: if anybody understands what the joke was about when they talked about ‘cas has big dolls’ i would love to hear it, because that has never made any sense to me, but it’s probably a me problem lmao. 

when misha goes ‘could you watch your language please’ i think that’s a sign that he is genuinely getting a bit frustrated [4m53s] with jensen even though he is obviously playing it off as a joke. right after he says that, jensen puts his fingers against his mouth, as if to shut himself up. i know that a lot of people don’t wanna read too much into body language but hey, i am writing an analysis here so work with me for a sec: i think that could be a subconscious decision to listen to what misha is telling him to do, which ties into the d/s dynamics i’ve mentioned earlier. 

i know people always go crazy when misha goes ‘what did i tell him’ [5m19s] and jensen whispers in his ear. i personally think misha probably told him about the fact that they booked kansas the band, but it’s still pretty telling that that is how misha would react to the question if something he told him is public knowledge. evidently that goes to show that there is enough that misha tells jensen that cannot be shared with the public, which i thought is interesting. 

now that i am watching it again, the ‘j*red would have just said it’ comment kind of stumbles around in my brain asking me to dissect it. let’s just say that i wouldn’t be surprised if they were both thinking back on the many, many times that j*red put his foot in his mouth and made a suggestive comment about jensen and misha’s relationship. 

god i just cringed [6m14s] watching jensen interact with that first girl who asked a question and he just goes off on her about how twins are cool and misha is shaking his head lord oh lord and that is the minute daniella decides that hey maybe they need even more alcohol lmfaoooo it’s a lot. poor misha i genuinely feel bad for him.

and then he goes ‘real men have twins’ and looks at misha and misha is still not having it so he goes ‘it’s just a shirt’ like girl (gn) pleASE that’s husband behavior, yet again, why else would he feel the need to clarify it. ‘look babe don’t be mad or jealous i don’t mean anything by it, it’s just a shirt’ i hate him. 

i just know misha would have wanted to take the apple juice away from jensen lmao. 

one of the moments [9m35s] that always stands out to me is when they go ‘that’s why we don’t bring steven’ ‘that’s right, that’s why he’s not allowed’ idk how to explain it but the way that just flows out of them so naturally feels very coupley for some reason.

i think we can all agree that jensen’s reaction [12m22s] to misha’s ‘i always wear orange underwear’ story is completely fake, right? because there is no way he didn’t know that, and his reaction was very exaggerated. plus, the little gesture to make misha show his underwear? bitch, please. whipped. there was also exactly zero reason for him to come that close to misha in order to inspect the color of his underwear.

the one thing that i wonder about, though, is why misha didn’t know jensen was wearing the famous underbear briefs? but as i am writing this i realise that even if they slept in the same hotel room, there are obviously a few different possible reasons why misha didn’t know what underwear jensen was wearing that day: either jensen showered and changed in the bathroom, so by the time he faced misha again he was fully dressed, or misha had to leave their hotel room earlier than jensen, or jensen changed while misha showered, etc etc. 

in any case……. jensen dropping trou in the middle of this fucking panel? absolutely batshit insane, 10/10 thank you for your service nesnej. 

this [13m54s] is where shit really starts to hit the fan. jensen is OUT OF CONTROL. the long stares??? the ‘rawr’s??? ‘you didn’t even get the full picture’??? (sidenote i would love to know what misha whispered to him right after).

OKAY so. when the girl mentions j*red and jensen goes all Knowing What’s Up and says ‘oh he has had a rough time today. misha kept us up way too late last night. *glances at misha* rrrrrrr’ listen. the only reason i am not reading too much into this is because i do not believe they had a threesome with j*red but also the way he said it was very sus and my mind can’t help but wonder if they were disgustingly flirty and way too touchy feely in front of j*red whilst drunk and honestly that’s probably the case.

of course this is followed [15m15s] by the insane man saying ‘by the way they go down to here’??? and the potentially whispered ‘i’ll show you later’?????? sir i have a lot of questions. number one: how dare you? 

bless this next person for this question, because she starts her sentence with: ‘people who have been together for a long time…’ i actually already made a post about this once so i implore you all to read that because i still stand by what i said in there.

it is of course followed by them both not being able to think about ANYTHING appropriate to say to the question if there is anything they only do in front of each other that doesn’t involve pants. and then misha goes ‘why don’t i just share a private moment that we had’ and jensen’s first instinct is to say ‘shit’. i mean. i am merely perceiving. 

this is the moment we realise that it has been quite The Day for them, but especially for jensen, because he has been emotional earlier in the day. which, again, could explain his demeanor during the panel. trying to distract himself. notice that he gets up and shakes his legs again and goes for a drink the second misha starts to tell the story: coping mechanisms aka distraction, just like he did at the start of the panel. 

the moment where he goes ‘it’s hitting me now. shit.’ really solidifies this theory for me, that he has been acting like a goofy drunken guy all panel, in order to drown out the emotions he felt that afternoon, but alas. once he started to talk about it, it still all came back to him. 

i will say this though: it kind of warms my heart that he was so touched by the fact that the fandom spawned something good. makes me feel slightly less dumb for forming parasocial relationships with that man. only slightly, but still. 

misha going ‘god he’s so grouchy’ [25m32s]? say it with me, folks: husband behavior. once again misha tries to talk jensen down and jensen listens (sort of). say it with me, folks: d/s behavior. and RIGHT after that jensen walks towards misha with this intense fucking stare in his eyes that makes me feel like i am intruding, and then after he gets another drink (nesnej, why?) he just. gently massages misha’s neck and shoulder before draping his arm around him? and his hand lingers when he goes to grab the keychain? okay. 

insert the famous ‘when in rome’ debacle lmao misha was so done with jensen by then it’s so hilarious. the funny thing is that misha says ‘what i mean is show each other our underwear, nothing weird. you can’t look at me like that, because of what you did’, while the question was ‘what would dean and cas do in rome’ and not ‘what would jensen and misha do in rome’ but clearly, once again, the actors cannot make a distinction between the two. interesting :) it also wouldn’t surprise me if jensen has told him to tone down the dean/cas answers but now that jensen decided to fully flash him on stage misha is like ‘sorry but i am not playing by your rules after what you did’ lmao. of course, jensen’s reaction is to go back to parting his legs for misha, like he is challenging him. i mean. you can’t make this shit up. 

am i the only one who thinks that jensen might be thinking dirty thoughts when misha repeats ‘what would dean and cas do’ [27m50s]? because like. that’s quite a face he is making.

when he says ‘i don’t know how to answer that’ and misha agrees, idk, for some reason i get the feeling that that’s in the sense of ‘i don’t know how to answer that in a way that won’t get our fans’s hopes up because we know what they would want and we know what we would answer but we can’t go there’. 

i really feel like the final straw for daniella was the way that jensen reacted to that last question like he was gonna have another breakdown lmao and that’s why the rest of the cast and crew were pushed onto the stage prematurely. because when you think about it, it’s a pretty rude thing to do when somebody is still answering a question? but okay. 

listen - the last 6 minutes of this panel are so chaotic sdjfhsjh the only thing i can conclude from it is that jensen is hella drunk but we’ve been knew. his mood changes by the fucking second. i love him and his little dance and how he sits down on the stage. i feel like i might be jensen coded when i am drunk. i too get slutty and unpredictable. 

so anyways long story short: jensen was hella drunk and wanted to provoke misha, it worked, they had hot sweaty sex after this panel, and the fact that jensen got drunk enough to entrust misha with taking care of shit during the panel makes me very emotional for some reason, and i just love them a lot. thank you for coming to my ted talk. 

[7-wonders]

Love That Moves the Sun and Other Stars

Summary: If you thought defying death, becoming the most powerful witch currently living, defeating Satan, defying death again, and becoming immortal was difficult, you were obviously mistaken. Coronation, royalty lessons, and pesky in-laws make the idea of facing Satan again more appealing with each day that passes. Luckily, your husband is by your side for it all. But will the love you share be enough to get you through these challenges?

Word Count: 1292 (just a short little introductory bb to set this up)

A/N: Ahhhhh I'm so excited for this! This is officially the first chapter of As Above, So Below's sequel. I've had so much fun revisiting these characters again, and I hope you have fun reading. If you enjoyed, please like, reblog, and comment. If you haven't read AASB before, strap in and click this link, because it's 70k+ words of pure goodness. Lastly, if you want to be on a taglist, let me know!

(moodboard made by the amazing @brattylovee)

She feels them before any of her other senses pick up on them. Being a goddess means her senses are especially attuned to any sort of disturbance, and that’s no different here. It’s an evolutionary trait, one meant to make sure that those gifted with immortality have an upper hand in case of danger, but there’s no danger here. Achlys, or Zoe (she doesn’t really have a preference which name you call her), smiles when she realizes that those she cares about are finally home. Indeed, those around her begin to pick up on this return too. Even Cerberus lifts his heads up, studying the noises he hears before jumping up in excitement and bounding towards the throne room. Zoe chuckles, standing from her spot in one of the many sitting rooms and transmuting herself to the throne room.

The hellhound does not even blink when he sees that one of his mistresses reached his destination before he did, screeching to a stop and barking happily. The king of the Underworld stands in the center of the throne room, his new wife holding onto his arm. Neither you (the aforementioned new wife) nor Michael can wipe the smiles off of your faces, both so wrapped up in newly wedded bliss that it’s impossible to not let the rest of the world see how happy you are. Only Zoe clearing her throat breaks your eyes away from those of your husband’s, and you grin even wider when you see her.

“Zoe!” you greet, untangling your hand from Michael’s to wrap your arms around your friend. “I’ve missed you!”

“Oh yes, because I’m sure you had plenty of time to think about those of us here while Michael was whisking you around the world.” Her eyes twinkle with mirth as she teases you, briefly letting go of you to customarily curtsey in the direction of Michael. “My lord.”

“I believe we’ve been past these formalities for about 200 years now, Zoe,” Michael says as he comes up behind you and puts a hand on your shoulder.

“Force of habit.” Zoe turns back to you. “So? How was everything?”

“Oh, the honeymoon was wonderful. Michael took me to Greece, and he did some magic to make Athens look like how it did when everybody thought you lived on a mountain.”

“Stunning, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know what was better, Rome, France, or Greece.”

“They all have their charms.”

“Bet the sex was good, too.” Hecate appears with her arms crossed, smirking at you and Michael.

“That’s really inappropriate--” Michael starts, but you cut him off.

“You wish we would tell you.” You wink, Madison laughing and pulling you into a hug. Knowing that she’s finally getting used to hugging, you smile victoriously. “Anyways, the honeymoon was great...for me, at least.”

Madison laughs. “It wasn’t great for Michael?”

“No, he felt like it was ruined because I made him meet my parents.”

Michael scowls as if to emphasize your point. “I’m a god, why is it that meeting my wife’s mortal parents intimidates me?”

“He’s just being dramatic; my parents love him!”

“Do they know that you’re married?” Zoe asks.

“No, we said we’re ‘dating’ and taking things slow, which, in Underworld time, we technically did.”

“Gods, I wish I would have been there for that conversation,” Madison chimes in.

The doors open, interrupting your conversation, and Michael’s right hand demon appears with a bow. “My lord, welcome back.”

“Thank you, Cassius.” Like a switch being flipped, Michael assumes the position of God of the Dead.

“I hope you enjoyed your vacation, for we have quite the workload for you to tackle.”

“Yes, of course.” You look at Michael with a pout, which really isn’t fair on your part considering you just spent the past month uninterrupted with him, but still...you thought you would at least be able to relax with him a little bit before jumping back to work.

“King stuff?” you ask.

Michael nods. “King stuff.” He kisses your head just barely, already on the move to go handle whatever’s first on the long list that Cassius is holding. “But don’t worry, you’ll have plenty to keep you busy, what with the coronation and all.”

“The coronation?”

“Yes, your advisors will explain it further.” Michael glances behind his shoulder. “I love you!”

“I love you too.” But he’s already gone. “Did you two know anything about a coronation?”

“No, but it’s kind of assumed that there would be one, since you married a king and all,” Madison says.

“You’re my advisors, so tell me about the coronation.”

Madison laughs. “We’re far too important to be anyone’s advisors. No, as the soon-to-be Queen of the Underworld, you have an actual staff.”

“But...do I actually need a whole staff?”

“Considering you’ve never done any sort of crash course on how to be nobility, I would say that you do.”

You nod sagely. “Like in Princess Diaries.”

Madison and Zoe share a confused look. “I have no idea what that means.”

“Oh, it’s a movie. Basically this girl finds out from her grandma that--”

“I wish I could say that I’d watch it, but I won’t.” At this point, Madison interrupting you is so normal that it doesn’t even phase you anymore. “But let’s face it, you’re going in completely blind. You need some sort of help.”

“Why from other people though? I’d rather that you and Zoe just helped.”

“Neither of us are skilled at planning coronations, and we can’t guarantee that we’ll always be around whenever you need to learn something related to your new role. We’ll certainly try, though,” Zoe says.

“Who’s this ‘we’ you’re talking about?” Madison jokes. “Don’t stress about it, okay?”

“I’m not!” you insist.

“I can see it in your face, you totally are. Nothing’s going to change, and you have nothing to worry about.”

“Besides having to learn how to be a queen?”

“Besides that. But I thought you knew that you would have to do this?”

“I did, but I just didn’t think it would be so sudden. I thought I would have some time after getting back before having to deal with this.”

“Okay, you need to get out of your head,” Zoe says, “and we’re going to show you that things will still be as they were before you married Michael.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Well, how much of the Underworld have you explored before?”

“Not much. Michael took me to Elysium for a date once, and we went to see the Fates, but the only other time I had been out of the castle was when I ran and that monster almost ate me.”

“Perfect. We’re having a girls’ night out, then, and showing you the fun parts of the Underworld.” Madison squeals upon hearing Zoe say this, and you can already see the wheels turning in her head. You’re not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing yet.

“There are fun parts of the Underworld?”

“Why would we continue to live here if there weren’t?” Madison asks, and you admit that she has a point.

“Consider it, like, a bachelorette party! Mortals do that, right?” Zoe looks at you in anticipation.

“Yeah, but I’m not really a bachelorette anymore.”

“So? It’s a belated party, and any event like this is an excuse to go have fun.”

“Oh, alright.”

Zoe claps her hands together. “Perfect! Let’s go find some suitable outfits.”

Zoe and Madison each take one of your hands, walking and chatting about the places that they want to take you and where they think you would like best. Though you huff and roll your eyes, you have to admit: it’s good to be home.

///

Tag List: @ladyrindt @hecohansen31 @xavierplympton @michaellangdon @trelaney @dark-mei-rose @blakescoven @ajokeformur-ray @michaelsapostle @nsainmoonchild

[greatneedtotakeanap]

i binge read

the finale, episode 15 - the tower of nero

!!!SPOILER ALERT FOR THE TOWER OF NERO!!! this post under the cut will be completely riddled with spoilers, as it is a personal account of my views on the book as a whole. 

it will be spoiled!!

(obviously.)

I’m almost too heartsick to write this omg. It’s been such a long, heartwarming journey, and it came to such an electrifying ending.

I’m quite proud of Apollo. I knew I was going to be, but the way he realized it, the way he realized everything... how Nero’s abuse mirrored Zeus’ and affected him just the same, how much of an asshole he’d been because of it. He made the conscious choice to change, and he decided he could love. He was capable of true love, he was capable of moving forward and being better. And he was. I was just,,, I was so proud of him. Seeing him mature was a really eye-opening experience, especially in this book, when he talked so much about the small complexities of Nero’s abuse, how every move was calculated and how it affected Meg. We’d seen wisps of discussions of abuse before, mostly in the lightning thief (smelly gabe) but we’ve never before gone into the complexities of emotional abuse. The way it was described was fantastically clear, in a way that undoubtedly painted Nero as the true villain, but also gave us the chance to see him try and convince his children that he was good. Apollo breaking down his every move was good for the audience to distinguish the meaning behind his words. Fantastically portrayed. The way it helped him realize his own abuse, too, was good.

And Meg. My sweet darling Meg. What an absolute baddie, I swear. She made the same decision - she went back to Nero to fight him, to test her own strength and power of will. Her decision to drop her rings and refuse to dual wield anymore was strange to me at the very beginning, but I understood it later. It was her refusing to use the weapons he forced her to use, to even defend herself against him. It was her turning her back on the methods he’d armed her with and deciding to take her own path. “The Beast is dead” is the rawest f-ing line in this entire novel, the Beast representing Nero’s psychological abuse. “I killed him” - she liberated herself by believing she was better. I’m so insanely proud of that girl, too. She’s come a long way as well.

Okay. After that analysis, let me just say:

THE GAYS WON.

I spent this entire book terrified that Will Solace was doomed. There was a line in the prophecy about the terrible ending of ‘Apollo’s flesh and blood’, and I figured that meant his offspring - his son, rather than his human form. I kept muttering to myself ‘Will’s gonna die Will’s gonna die and it’s gonna BREAK Nico’. I was just so worried. I didn’t think anyone, even William Andrew Solace, could survive Rick Riordan’s patented Blond Boy Curse.

But he was fine in the end! As fine as you can be. Solangelo boyfriends lived to fight another day. And their development as a couple was also quite nice. I loved their dynamic. We only saw a little of it in the hidden oracle. Though it was great there too, we were able to go more in depth and explore how they truly function. Nico’s dry sense of humor combined with his whole lord-of-the-darkness aesthetic x Will’s genuine compassion and joking nature combined with his glow-in-the-dark-ness was fantastic to see.

Speaking of Solangelo - they not only got stronger as a couple, but as individual people as well. To be completely honest, we really haven’t seen much in the way of Will Solace. He healed, he was nice, yeah, sure, but what about him? What was his personality like outside from other people? In this book we find out. He’s kind, compassionate, easily flustered, overly protective. He craves parental approval, hence him repeatedly referring to Apollo as ‘dad’ and being so watchful over him. He gets embarrassed when asked to glow on command and upset when people mistake him for a lamp. He’s impulsive and a little hypocritical - he follows his instincts (being led off into the tunnels by a random voice) but gets very worried when Nico pulls the same thing. He’s a fantastic character, and his contrasts to Nico and the rest of the ton crew were great.

Nico - he seriously was the hero of this book. Or at least the secondary hero. He saved them all so many times over - he took everyone through shadow travel away from the bulls, he met the troglodytes, saw an opportunity, prepared an offering to said troglodytes because he saw an opportunity, became an underground ambassador, later saved Apollo’s life again by turning a germanus into a skeleton. He led this quest, and you can pry that from my cold dead hands. And that one paragraph about him enduring all this shit?? MASTERFUL. He’s had such a boatload of trauma and still he stands. One of my very favorite consistent Nico traits is this: no matter where he is or what he’s doing or how he feels, he ALWAYS takes the chance to talk with those who feel alone, because he knows what it’s like to be truly fighting one’s battles alone and he’d never wish that on anyone. It’s consistent, too: him being the only one to talk to Hestia at the hearth in Camp Half Blood, him talking to and befriending Bob the Titan, him talking to the troglodytes. And I have really gotten to see his progression firsthand, sped up - I read the Titan’s Curse in my binge read series maybe two weeks ago, back when he was this hyperactive ten-year-old with a Mythomagic obsession and now he’s this prince of darkness saving people with an adorable glowstick boyfriend and man. I love this kid. If he wasn’t my favorite character in this universe, he is now.

Also, even though with this book Rick has closed the gateway to this world (sad), the end alluded to a possible journey through Tartarus again to look for what’s been calling him, but this time he’ll have Will. Rachel Dare even whispered a prophecy at the end, probably pointing to it (but we’ll never know for sure). Will and Nico through the depths of Tartarus - now that’s a series I’d want to read for sure. It’s really too bad we’ll never get to see it in canon. Sigh.

SPEAKING OF CANON.

Another way the gays have won: Piper Mclean.

She has a canon girlfriend!! We really struck gold. I figured she was aro//ace when reading the Burning Maze - her whole monologue about being forced into love - but it turns out she’s just wlw!! I love this, I love this. We seriously won with this book.

Other noteworthy thoughts I had while reading below:

- The scene with Apollo defeating Python and hanging on the edge of Chaos was great. Especially when the goddess Styx came out. I was wondering how all of his broken oaths would serve him and come back to haunt him. It was quite well portrayed. A serious rip to the Arrow of Dodona though. I always loved it,,, a lot. It made me laugh and sometimes grind my teeth in frustration, but it was always a nice presence.

- Apollo’s return to Olympus was better than anything I ever could have hoped for. I was really hoping that returning would give him a new insight, not just of being mortal, but of Zeus as well. And it did. It did! I’ve said it before but I am quite proud of him. His new perspective on the Olympians was refreshing. You can really see the change in narrative if you go back to the Hidden Oracle.

- It is always always always nice to see Sally Jackson. Woman of many talents, including novel writing, blue chocolate chip cookies, and excellent seven-layer dip. She was my favorite character at the beginning of this binge-reading frenzy (as stated in the first post). Now she is still very up there. Definitely top 5.

- Why does Estelle have Percy’s green eyes?? I thought Percy had his father’s eyes????

- Grover knew about Jason dying. If Grover was on the cross-country field trip with Percy and Annabeth, and they didn’t realize Jason was dead until they got to New Rome, then was he just sitting on Jason’s death this whole time??? Rip to Grover, he must have been seriously traumatized for THAT to have happened.

- The last two chapters were basically just Apollo making his rounds and wrapping everything up, so Percabeth isn’t just in a perpetual cross-country ride and Piper doesn’t live out her life forever in a grief-stricken taxi. I’m glad those chapters were there, though. Nice to see everybody again in their element.

Okay but you don’t understand the fear in my heart. I seriously thought Will Solace was a goner. I cried out of relief because he DIDN’T die. It just makes me love the two of them all the more.

This post has been way too long already, but I gotta add an obligatory outro - I read these books once as a little kid, and the past two weeks has been amazing getting back into them. It’s been magical and wonderful, falling in love with these characters, and I’m so sad to leave it.

[ouronlyangelhes]

The Girl On The Side: Harry Styles Imagine Part Two

Thank you for all the feedback I got on the first part of this. If you’d like to read it, click here. Or the master list that is linked in bio. I hope you love it! Let me know if you’d like another part.

Love can push people to do things that they never thought that they were capable of doing. You never would’ve believed someone if they told you that you would began an affair with a married man. Let alone, develop love for that man. Love is what you felt for Harry and the love that he felt belonged to his wife. Isn’t that how it’s suppose to be?

You get married because you’re so in love with that person and can’t see spending another day with anyone else. So how did Harry let himself love his wife but spend his extra time entangled in the sheets with you. Originally, you thought it was going to be a one time thing that the two of you were never going to bring up, and pretend that it never happened. However, that was not the case.

The two of you continued to see one another and your feelings of physical attraction quickly stemmed into love. It was just the sex though, as amazing as that was you felt like you had a deeper connection with Harry as well. Your feelings for him surpassed what feelings was taking place in the bedroom.

“Hey Styles, I hear that you and the wife are trying to have a baby. Best of luck to you guys! You two are going to make great parents whenever it happens.” You overheard your co worker say to Harry.

Harry and his wife were planning to have kids? Obviously they were going to that because they were married. You felt extremely stupid and in the dark more than ever.

“Thanks man, I really appreciate it. We’re excited you know, whenever it happens. We’re not really in a rush, plus all the trying isn’t all that bad.” You could see Harry but you knew him well enough to know that he had a smirk resting on his face.

You felt sick, you had to step outside and get some fresh air. You were walking, no real sign of where you were going. All you knew was that you couldn’t get that conversation out of your mind. You felt betrayed. Which was rich coming from you since you were the other woman in this scenario. You wanted all of those things with Harry. You wanted to be the one that he came home to at the end of the day, the one he could hold hands with and kiss in public, the one he wanted to have a family with. You were never gonna be that person. That was something reserved for his wife only. You were mad at yourself that it took you this long to figure it out.

“I was gonna go grab some lunch really fast, so yeh want me to grab you something too?” Harry said as he stuck his head in your office.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you and Sarah were starting a family? I feel like that would’ve been a nice bit of information clue me in on.” You said with a noticeable frustrated tone.

“You know that when I’m with you I don’t bring her up. Look that’s something that’s personal between the two of us.” Harry said to you. Personal? What is more personal than sleeping together? What’s more personal than sleeping with someone else’s husband? He had some nerve to say that to you.

“I can’t Harry. I can’t do this anymore with you. Every time you leave and go back to her my heart breaks. I just can’t handle the pain of being let down and being second best. It’s time we end this and let this go, ok?” You said with the pain coming through your voice.

“Love, it doesn’t have to be this way. I know that I can’t give you what you want but I give you something. Isn’t that better than nothing.” He asked you.

“No.” You said as you got up and got out of your office.

The next few weeks were spent trying to put the pieces of your life back together. It was a process, getting over Harry. Even though you two were never really together, at least in the conventional way, you still felt traces of him everywhere. Your house was the worst. You felt like you saw pieces of him everywhere you looked. The pillow next to you still smelt like him, you would find some extra shirts scattered around your place, you would find notes that he had left for you on his way out.

You knew you had made the right choice in ending your relationship with Harry, it didn’t make it hurt any less. It hurt because you had loved him, really loved him, and still do. You did a pretty good job of avoiding him at work for the most part, well as much as you could avoid someone that you work with.

“So for the next term, we are really trying to boost the new program and make sure that all of the other offices are able to catch up to the speed of this one. This one has been performing phenomenally, thanks to all of you hard working people. Some of the other offices have requested that I send a few of you over to help get them all up to date with how we do things. Some of you will be teaching workshops on the new software, others will be attending a conference on how to efficiently communicate all of our new ideas company wide, as well as with our partners. So the assignments are as follows: Trish, Allison, Marcus, and Alec are all going to be heading to the New York office for the next week to set up that office with the new software. And then Y/N and Harry will be going to Italy to the Rome office to make sure everything is up to date there. Then, Alicia, Ryan, Tyler, and Marissa will be heading to the Paris office to share the new ideas and see what they have been working on. All the trip details have been sent to each of you, so make sure you look that over. That’s all. Can’t wait to hear about it when you all get back.” Your boss said to you as she delegates the responsibilities.

She has to be joking, putting you with Harry. This was the worst possible idea but the two of you have worked together for ages and always made a good team. Just when you thought you’d be getting a break from Harry, your boss picks Rome of all places, a romantic Italian city to send the two of you to.

You weren’t at all ready to leave. Part of you was excited that you were getting to go somewhere you had never been, the other part of you was not okay with spending that much time with Harry. He knew just how to reel you in, charm you, and make you weak. You hated that Harry was able to have this much power and control over you, but that’s simply how it easy it was for Harry to pull you back in.

You both were going to be taking the company plane to Rome.

You were sitting on the plane waiting for him, as per usual. You tended to be early to things and he was just on time or liked to keep people waiting, especially you.

“Good morning love, sorry I’m a few behind. I went and got coffee for us.” He said with a smile as he handed you your coffee.

“Thanks.” You said trying to limit the conversation. As soon as Harry started talking you knew he would be able to get himself back right where he wanted, and you weren’t ready to let that happen.

You had spent the majority of the flight ignoring his attempts to make conversation with you.

As soon as the plane landed, you made your way off quickly just wanting to get back to the hotel and get a few hours of sleep in.

“Look I know that I am the last person that you want to talk to right now but I miss talking to you. I know that you meant what you said the other day I’m trying to give you some space but I miss all the conversations we use to have. Feel like I could tell yeh anything.” He said.

“Harry, I can’t do this with you right now. I need some time and a little distance. I’m also super tired so I’m not going to be too great at any conversation at this point. Give me a little while and we can talk ok?” You said to him.

The ride back to the hotel was silent. Harry hadn’t gotten the message that you weren’t ready to talk yet and was handing that better than you thought. As soon as you got to the hotel, you set your stuff down and crawled into bed.

You had been asleep for what felt like ages, when you heard a knock at the door. You got out of bed and looked through the peephole, it was Harry.

“What’s up?” You asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

“I couldn’t sleep, I wanted to talk.” He said to you.

“How could you not sleep? I’m exhausted.” You said as you opened the door to let him in.

“Dunno, my mind was racing I guess.” He said as he sat down on your bed.

“Look, I’m sorry if I’m driving yeh crazy but I just miss talking to you. I didn’t realize how much we talked until we weren’t anymore.” He said.

You didn’t say anything, you didn’t know what there was to say. You were gonna let him get out whatever he needed to get off of his chest.

“You know that conversation we had a while ago, the one about me and Sarah trying to start a family? We found out that her doctor doesn’t think she’s going to be able to have children. They’re other options I mean we could adopt or summat but she was really set on having them and carrying them, ya know? I’m just having a hard time and I know that your probably the last person I should be talking about this with but I feel like I can tell yeh everything.” He said as tears began to pool in his eyes.

You felt his pain. No matter how much you wanted to tell him to get lost and get out, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. He needed someone, you weren’t sure if it was you exactly he need or just someone to listen, but either way you weren’t going to abandon him when he was obviously upset.

“I’m so sorry Harry, I really am.” You said as you wrapped your arms around him to comfort him. Your heart ached for him. No matter how angry you wanted to be, you couldn’t be. You only felt sad for him.

You wiped his tears with the sleeve of your sweatshirt. Harry pressed his lips against yours and you were done for. Every promise you had made yourself go not let this happen had been broken. You couldn’t help yourself, his touch set you on fire. He was capable of doing things to you that nobody else could. You both loved and hated him for that. After the two of you were done, bodies glistening with sweat and out of breath, Harry wrapped his arms around you like he normally did.

The next few days spend in Rome were far more hectic than the first. Meetings and more meetings consumed your days. You hadn’t really spoken to Harry about the events of the other night. You decided you wanted to keep it that way. It was a temporary moment of weakness and you gave in, you were blind and determined to make sure that it didn’t happen again.

You had gotten home from Italy and the jet lag hit you like never before. You had never been so tired in your life. You spent the next day in bed trying to recover from your travels and trying to subside your ever present headache and tiredness.

Work went back to normal, you did what you had to get done and managed to not overlap too much with Harry. Even though the two of you shared an intimate night together while in Italy, Harry finally was understanding that he couldn’t give you the life with him that you had dreamed about. He was being selfish holding onto you while also holding on to his wife, who you knew that he loved deeply.

You continued to go about your days as normal, fighting off the persisting sickness that you knew you would have to eventually fall victim to. You didn’t want to take any days off. Your work was your life, you loved it, it made you feel important and like you had a purpose. Now that you and Harry had ended things you needed that.

As the days went by, you continued to feel poorly. You finally decided to head to the doctors and see what had you feeling so off.

You were seated in the doctors office waiting, when the nurse called you back.

She ran you through the basics, weight, blood pressure, temperature, all the usual things. The doctor came in, “So it’s seems we’ve gotten to bottom of you not feeling well. Your blood test indicated that you’re pregnant. Now, I will set you up with a referral for a great OBGYN, who of course would be able to provide you will more details into like how many weeks you are and things like that. I can send you her way if you’d like, or if you have one then you can just set up the appointment yourself if you’d like.” She said to you.

Pregnant. You couldn’t be. But yet here you were, clearly pregnant.

“Uh, no it’s alright. I don’t need a referral, I have one.” You said clearly still in shock and processing the news.

She sent you our and on your way. Pregnant. You were pregnant with Harry’s child. It still didn’t feel real. It was like an out of body experience that was happening to someone else. You were sure of what you were going to do or how you were going to tell Harry. Could you even tell him? He has a wife for crying out loud. This should be happening between him and her, not Harry and his mistress. You felt stupid, guilty, and protective over the life you just found about all at once. You didn’t know what to do but you had to figure it out and soon.

[drxcodormixns]

Just Pretend

☆–> pairing: Remus Lupin x Reader

☆–> overview: “I swear, when I made up my fake relationship, I did not know someone worked at the coffee shop with the same name and that my family + friends would find you”

☆–> word count: 2,903

Tip Jar

You fight the urge to roll your eyes as the drone of your mother’s speech washes over you. You love her, you really do, but recently she’s been incessantly asking you about a boyfriend - more specifically, why you don’t have one. She doesn’t seem to understand that fact that a boyfriend just isn’t very high on your list of priorities at the moment. You’re much more focused on getting into a good college.

“Y/N, honey, are you even listening to me?”

Sighing, you look up from your plate again to make eye contact with her. “Yes…”

That’s all the encouragement she needs to start off again and, true to form, you tune her out. No matter how hard you try, there’s no way to stop her. Unless…

You cough loudly, making her pause (finally). “Are you okay, honey?”

“I didn’t want to tell you this because we’re keeping it… casual, but I, um - I’m seeing someone.”

Your mom doesn’t say anything for a long minute. You can’t even look at her for fear of her seeing through your lie, so you just stare at your plate as if you’re extremely interested in the flowery designs on the face of it. Finally, your dad, who fell silent as soon as your mom started going on her schpeel again, clears his throat. “I think that’s great, honey. What’s his name?”

Fuck. A name. You did not think this plan through at all. Coming up with a name that’s actually believable, yet completely bullshit, on the spot? “Ummm -” You can feel your face start to redden as your parents’ eyes drill into the side of your face. “It’s a pretty unusual name.”

“What is it?” your mother asks, her suspicion pretty evident from the tone of her voice.

You fumble a little over your words, but finally, just pull something out of your ass. “H-his name is Remus.” Yup. One of the twin founders of Rome. Great idea, Y/N.

At this point, you’re sure that your forehead is glistening with sweat. You look up and make eye contact with your, clearly, still suspicious mom, and force a smile. “Actually, I was about to go meet up with him, so…” You practically run to the kitchen and drop your plate in the sink, then fly out the door with your keys. Obviously, there’s nobody to meet, but you have to get out of the house. As you’re driving around aimlessly, your phone suddenly starts buzzing with texts.

Lily: Y/N! YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME???

Lily: Helloooo??

Lily: Call me IMMEDIATELY

You groan. Of course, your mom must’ve taken the opportunity to tell everyone the big news the minute you left your house.

After pulling over and parking by a random curb, you call your best friend. You don’t even get the chance to say anything before she starts shrieking - loudly. “Fuck, Lily, calm down!”

“Calm down? Are you joking? You didn’t even tell me you got a boyfriend!”

And off she goes, asking you question after question.

“So his name is Remus, right? What kind of name is that?

“How old is he?”

“How did you meet him?”

“What does he do?”

“Is he cute?”

You groan and interject. “I didn’t tell you because it’s casual. I don’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

She snorts in response. “No offense, Y/N, but you’re not a casual kind of girl. That’s Marlene. Not you.”

You huff with indignation and hang up. Sure, a little rude, but at this point, you just want to be left alone. Having a fake boyfriend sucks. It seems that Lily’s feelings aren’t too hurt, anyway, because she keeps texting you. You shut your phone off and keep driving.

-

The next day, you wake up to somebody laughing way too loudly for the morning. It’s a laugh that you recognize well, and you grab your pillow and cover your head with it, trying to drown out the sound of the voices getting closer to you. Almost immediately, there’s a loud knock on your door and it flies open. There stand your mom and your best friend, looking extremely pleased with themselves for waking you up.

“Come on, Y/N! We have plans today, remember?” Lily says. You throw the pillow at her, hoping to knock the smug look off her face, but she just catches it with a laugh. “Oh, stop being so grumpy. Get ready, I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

She walks out of the room but you make no move to get out of bed - at least until your mom says something about pancakes. Pancakes, I’ll get out of bed for. Nothing else.

When you’re ready and sated, full of pancakes, you follow Lily out of the door and get in the passenger seat of her car. “So where are we going?”

Her eyes sparkle mischievously, but her voice is sweet when she speaks. “This really cute coffee shop I found. Remember we’re always talking about going to those instead of Starbucks?”

Though you’re suspicious, you have to admit it sounds nice. “Where is it?”

You spend the rest of the ride talking about nothing, and you’re pleasantly surprised that she doesn’t bring up your “boyfriend” again. You thought it’d be the only topic of conversation. Honestly, it makes you even more suspicious that she doesn’t even mention it - but you let it go.

The coffee shop Lily pulls into is small and unassuming, with ivy growing all over the walls. “This is adorable!” you exclaim with delight, smiling as you sit at a cozy little table.

“Isn’t it? We should definitely come here often.”

“For sure.”

You look up as a waiter comes up to you, smiling slightly. “Welcome! What can I get you both today?” Lily coughs, and you look back at her, only to see a shit-eating grin on her face. Confused, you raise your eyebrows at her. He’s extremely cute, you have to admit - with his unruly brown hair, flopping messily over his forehead, and his lean build… What really draws you in, though, are his eyes. They’re warm, and looking into them makes you feel at home - but there’s a tinge of sadness in them. You want to know what’s making this beautiful boy so sad.

Enough of that. You snap out of it, blushing slightly when you realize you’ve been staring at him for way longer than what’s considered normal. He glances between the two of you, looking a little bemused, while Lily’s still grinning like a crazy person. “Lils, what?” you ask, looking at the boy apologetically - and you finally see what’s making her so freaking happy.

His nametag. Says. Remus.

Your eyes widen, and you narrowly avoid cursing out loud. Doesn’t stop you from cursing inside your head, though. Shit. FUCK. Thinking fast, you force a smile and pray that whatever acting skills you gained in the middle school play would get you through this. “You caught us!” you say, much too loudly, and you cringe at the sound of your shrill voice. Clearing your throat, you try again. “I didn’t think you’d find him so soon.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “Please. I’m practically an FBI agent when it comes to this kind of thing.” She grins up at the poor boy - Remus - who still has no idea what’s going on. “Why are you being so shy?”

“W-what?” he stammers. Before he can say anything else, you shoot out of your seat and take your hand in his. You try to avoid thinking about how clammy your hand must feel and look up at his rapidly reddening face. His mouth is slightly open, forming a small ‘o’, which almost makes you laugh, despite the situation.

“I’ll help you get the coffee… babe.” You almost choke saying that last word, but power through. “I know your order, Lils.” With that, you practically drag him away.

As soon as you’re safely out of sight and earshot, you drop his hand and take a giant step away. “I’m so, so, so, sorry,” you say frantically. Remus swallows and nods slightly. He doesn’t look like the type of person that could really be angry at you, but you still keep apologizing. “I just - my family and friends, they’re obsessed with the idea of me getting a boyfriend, you know? So to get them off my case I made up a story and I never expected someone named Remus to actually live in our town! I’m just so sorry and -”

He coughs lightly and you shut up immediately, looking at him apprehensively. “It’s fine, really,” he says quietly. “How can I help?”

Your eyes widen. “Y-you’d help me?”

His soft smile comes back, which, you’re embarrassed to admit, makes your heart beat a little faster. “Of course. I know a lot about family getting on your case.” The sadness in his eyes grows stronger, making you frown, but you don’t press the issue. After all, you barely know him. “I’ll help in any way I can.”

A few minutes later, you and Remus walk back to the table, hand-in-hand. Lily looks up from her phone and smiles. “You guys are the cutest. Where’s my coffee though?”

Remus chuckles lightly. “Coming right up.” He squeezes your hand slightly before letting go. “Be right back, Y/N.” Hearing him say your voice so intimately makes you blush, and you bite your lip to keep from smiling too wide.

As he walks away, Lily squeals. “So. CUTE!”

You just roll your eyes and sit back down, fighting from looking over your shoulder to where your boyfriend is.

-

That night, after you take a long shower, you curl up in bed, holding your phone to your chest. Your body’s ready to drift off, but your mind won’t stop racing. Thoughts of Remus keep flitting across your mind, and you contemplate texting him. Before you can, though, your screen lights up, and your heart jumps when you see his name pop up on your phone.

Remus: Are you up?

You grin at the cliche. He obviously doesn’t mean it in the classic fuckboy way - he’s much too sweet.

Y/N: Yes :)

You chew at your lip as you watch the little dots at the corner of your screen.

Remus: :)

Remus: We should meet up tomorrow and go over some things for this “relationship”.

Y/N: Good idea

Y/N: When are you free?

Remus: We can do 12 - I can pick you up

Smiling, you put your phone down after texting him your address. For some reason, you’re really looking forward to tomorrow.

-

Your mom raises her eyebrows when you bound down the stairs the next day. “Where are you going?”

“I have some plans,” you respond, not really wanting to go into it anymore, but she keeps pressing.

“What plans?”

“Um…”

She grins and puts down the newspaper she was looking at. “Is it a date?” You groan and keep walking instead of responding. “You look wonderful!” she shouts, which makes you smile.

Remus is already waiting for you when you step outside. At least he looks as nervous as I feel, you think, as you feel your hands start to sweat. “Hi,” you say tentatively when you reach him. Much to your surprise, he reaches out and envelops you in a hug.

He’s so warm that you can’t help sinking into it, and you completely forget where you are until he speaks again. “We have an audience,” he whispers, and you realize that your parents are probably watching from your windows. Of course. Why else would he hug me? You think, trying to ignore the sting from the realization.

You cough and release him, avoiding his eyes. “Let’s go”.

As it’s a particularly nice day outside, you both decide on sitting in a nearby park. Though the conversation is awkward at first, as you’re still both basically strangers, you both quickly warm up to each other. It becomes weird how un-weird it is to just talk to him.

Eventually, he leans back on his elbows, letting the sun beat down on his face. “I think we’re ready for this.”

You smile and agree. “Definitely. Just one thing left.” You hold out your phone dramatically and make a face. “Time to make this Instagram official!”

Remus laughs and moves closer to you as you position your phone for a selfie. The next couple minutes are filled with duck lips and stupid faces as you take the dorkiest selfies imaginable. You both can’t stop laughing as you scroll through your camera roll. “Wait -” Remus says, coughing to stop his laughs. “We should take one where we pretend to be really in love.”

Still drunk on laughter, you agree, immediately looking into his eyes, trying to fake intensity. You’re both still laughing too much to take it seriously - but once the laughter subsides, and you find your face really close to his while looking deeply into his eyes, you start to feel butterflies in your stomach. The intensity isn’t fake anymore.

You swallow hard, completely forgetting about the task at hand as he lifts his hand to caress your cheek softly. The cool surface of his fingertips gliding across your skin makes you shiver, and you close your eyes as he traces your jaw. You feel him lean closer and, as he snakes an arm around your waist, you forget to breathe.

“Take the picture,” he whispers, but it barely registers in your brain.

Your eyes flutter open as you try to remember what he said. “W-what?”

“The picture.”

Shit. You curse yourself for being so stupid again. Forcing yourself to ignore the warmth of his body so close to yours, you raise your arms and snap a picture. When it’s done, you break away from him as fast as possible and stand up, busying yourself with brushing non-existent grass off of your clothes to avoid looking at him. “Ready to go?”

-

It’s been just over a week, and you quickly begin to look forward to your nights. Remus seems to be an insomniac just like you, and you both stay up late every night, just talking. It’s crazy to you that someone you met such a short time ago became such an important part of your life. You tell him how important college is to you, and how stressed you are about getting into a good one. He, in turn, tells you about his family - how they expect so much, and how, day-by-day, he can feel the pressure getting to him. He tells you he just wants to give up sometimes. When he tells you these kinds of things, you wish you were with him. You just want to hold him and make everything better.  

One night, a different notification distracts you from your text chain with Remus.

Lily: Y/N! Wake up

Y/N: I’m up, what’s going on?

Lily: The results came out

Jumping out of bed, you immediately switch to the portal for the college’s results. Your heart is hammering as you put in your login info, and you hold your breath as the page loads. Finally, you see it:

Dear Y/N,

Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you admission to…

You bite down on your fist to stop yourself from screaming. You ignore Lily’s texts and immediately call Remus - he’s the only person you want to talk to right now. He answers on the first ring, not even sounding groggy. “Hello?”

You can’t even talk at first because you’re hyperventilating so much. “Are you there?” Finally, you calm down your breathing enough to respond.

“I-I got in!” Saying the words out loud makes you want to scream again.

“Oh my god! That’s amazing, Y/N!” You nod frantically until you remember that he can’t see you.

“I’m so excited, Remus, I just want to scream -” you stop talking and stuff your head in your pillow. Deep breaths, Y/N. You suddenly register that Remus is talking again. “Sorry, what? I missed what you said.”

He laughs and repeats himself. “I’m coming over right now.” He hangs up immediately, and you just grin at your phone. You leave it on your bed and tiptoe out the door, waiting for Remus.

-

“So.”

“What?” You’re both in the same park you went to a week ago, and Remus is looking at you expectantly.

“Do we need to take another Instagram picture?”

You grin. “For what?”

“To celebrate you, of course.”

You roll your eyes and take out your phone. “If you insist.”

Remus scoots closer to you and slings an arm around your shoulder. You ignore the shivers that erupt from where his body is touching yours. “Ready?” he breathes, and you feel goosebumps erupt on your neck. You’re finding it hard to speak so you just nod.

As you’re about to press the button, he touches your face lightly, making you turn towards him. “I’m so proud of you,” he says, then kisses your forehead lightly. You sigh, barely hearing the camera shutter click. All you can focus on is the feeling of Remus’ soft lips on your skin.

Later that night, when you’re home in bed, you look at the picture you took. It’s your favorite picture on your camera roll. You fall asleep smiling, but there’s a nagging question in the back of your mind. Is this still pretend?

[diabolikshu]

Shu Sakamaki Q&A: Ep 2 Part 2/2

PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ PART 1

Thank you!

---

Rumiko: "So, Ruki?"

Ruki: "Mm?"

Rumiko: "Do you have any talents or hobbies maybe?..."

Ruki: "Well... I'm an author actually. I also enjoy doing puzzles on my free time. I guess you can say I'm good at it."

Shu: "Oi! Can I get a beer over here?"

Bartender: "Coming right up!"

Ruki: "So, Shu?" *looks over at Rumiko and winks*

Shu: "What?"

Ruki: "If you had a wife, where would you take her on your honeymoon?"

Shu: "Ha??... What kinda question is that?" *Shu looks up at Ruki with a very confused, almost disturbed look*

Rumiko: "PFT!" That's one of the questions on my list!

Ruki: "I don't know. I'm just bored... What I can't ask a question?"

Rumiko: Is Ruki in on this? Maybe Karlheinz ordered him to help me out?

Shu: "Hm?... Do you not want to play anymore? I couldn't care either way."

Ruki: *yawns* "Yea I'm bored with this, Shu. Let's just sit down at the bar and get to know each other."

Shu: "Whatever. I just ordered a beer anyways... And I guess I'd probably take her to Rome."

Bartender: *places beer on counter*

Shu: *chugs beer*

Rumiko: "What about you Ruki?"

Ruki: "I was thinking Rome as well."

Rumiko: "You two should get married then." *laughs*

Shu: *face blushes red*

Ruki: "What's up with your face?"

Shu: "What are you talkin' bout? Look at your f *hiccup* — ace, you bastard."

Rumiko: He's worse drunk than I thought. Maybe I can ask him something more personal.

"Shu, have you ever kissed a fan?"

Shu: "...... Once."

Rumiko: "REALLY?"

Shu: "...Yea."

Rumiko: "Can you explain further?"

Shu: "... My father put together a party for my birthday a couple of years ago... I didn't want to go but... I kinda felt guilty about that... So, I went even though I was very late. I sat in the corner and people kept coming up to me, bothering me, and asking me annoying questions about pointless things..."

Ruki: *orders another drink*

Shu: "Laito comes up to me and sneaks me a bottle of alcohol. He says 'Happy Birthday', does that dumb little laugh of his and walks away very discreet. I held onto the bottle and I was going to toss it... I then thought 'maybe this is my chance to have a little fun for once'. I go to a guest room in the mansion, sit down on a chair alone listening to music and just drink the entire bottle by myself. I leave the room extremely drunk, falling all over the place and stumbling through the hallway. I hear someone calling my name and asking if I was okay. It annoyed the hell out of me. I look at the girl and tell the her to leave me alone. I could tell she was a fan of mine cuz she had that dumb look on her face... She wouldn't go away no matter what I said. I asked her "will you promise to leave me alone if I kiss you?" Or something along the lines of that... She was caught off guard and was taking too long to respond... so I grabbed her, pinning her to the wall and began french kissing her... After that she ran away embarrassed, covering her mouth... Heheh, the look on her face was priceless."

Rumiko: *breathes intensely*

Ruki: *drunk* "That's what I'm talkin' about... I probably would've went a little farther than that just for the hell of it."

Shu: "Eh, she was a bad kisser."

Rumiko: "W-What about you Ruki?"

Ruki: "Nope. I've never been approached by any fans anyways."

Rumiko: "What? But you're sexy, mysterious, and smart."

Shu: "...Rumiko... You're a lewd woman aren't you?"

Rumiko: "SHU!"

Shu: "What?... It's obvious. I saw your reaction to my little story. I guess all women are the same..."

Rumiko: "Of course not! I've lost interest in you a long time ago. You're really not who I thought you were when I was just your fan. Being your manager isn't easy ya know?!"

Shu: "Hahahaha, you still got turned on though. I could hear your heart beating faster. It was pretty intense for someone who has lost interest in me."

Rumiko: "Tch, forget about it!"

Ruki: "Well do you like anyone romantically?"

Rumiko: "Um... I don't know."

Shu: "Lies."

Ruki: "Come on. Say it."

Shu: "Laito?"

Rumiko: "No way!"

Shu: "Ayato?"

Rumiko: "Nope!"

Shu: "Ah, I see. Reiji then?"

Rumiko: *blushes*

Ruki: "Interesting..."

Rumiko: "What? I didn't say anything!"

Shu: "Well, the next best thing after me is my brother. Makes sense."

Rumiko: "Fine, I like Reiji a little bit... Just don't say anything about it... So, are you guys dating anyone or interested in anyone?"

Shu/Ruki: "Nope."

Shu: "Woman are troublesome."

Ruki: "I agree."

Rumiko: "Hmm... Well then, what is your ideal woman? Personality and appearance wise."

Ruki: "... Someone's who's intelligent, independent, obedient, and well mannered. I enjoy women who have shorter hair usually. I don't want it getting in the way. It's easy access to the neck."

Shu: "A quiet, petite woman. That's all I want... Or maybe someone chubbier so if I want to sleep I can use them as a pillow whenever I please... Not sure now that I'm thinking about it..."

Rumiko: "You just want a woman who would make it more convenient for you to sleep whenever you'd like, huh?"

Shu: "Why else?"

Ruki: "What have been your worst experiences with a woman?"

Shu: "I went on a date with a woman who I was set up with by my father... This woman, I believe, was one of my cousins. I could tell by the way she carried herself that she was within the family. I never met her before this encounter though..."

Rumiko: "How the hell did your father get you to go?"

Shu: "..."

Ruki: "You going to say something?"

Shu: "I can't discuss that. But he offered me information... I knew I wasn't going to seriously pursue this woman. I went over to her place. We sat down and ate dinner... I wasn't eating so it was worrying her. I could tell that she was very nervous. It was annoying because she was tapping her foot anxiously and playing around with her fingers. I assumed it was because this was her first date or something... She then asked me if I could at least have a little drink if I wasn't going to eat... I then took a small sip of the drink she gave me... I passed out... I then slightly remember her dragging me down a hall by my leg and a smirk on her face. I don't remember anything after that... Only that I... I woke up in the middle of a forest with only my underwear half on." *begins laughing uncontrollably*

Rumiko: "Oh my God, Shu!!! That's not funny! That's a traumatizing experience!"

Shu: *still laughing*

Ruki: "What did you do after that? If that was me I would find this woman and drain her blood."

Shu: "Ahahaha.... Well... Hahaha... I knew why that happened... Finding and killing her would be pointless. This was my father's way of punishing me for repeating high school... I eventually found my clothes under a tree. They were torn and dirty took me a couple of days to come home. My brothers asked me where I was and why my clothes looked like that. I told them that I was sent to the North Pole by our father and was attacked by a polar bear." *starts laughing again* "They actually believed me."

Rumiko: "SO THAT WAS A LIE?!"

Shu: "Of course it was... It would pretty much be a vacation for me to be sent to the North Pole. My father knows that. He wanted me to be humiliated like he was..."

Rumiko: "Sounds like him now that I'm thinking about it..."

Ruki: "My worst experience was with a human woman. She was quite beautiful and very educated. We became very close and that was the first time I fell in love..." *In deep thought*

Rumiko: "Ruki..."

Ruki: "... She passed away, which is normal for a human obviously."

Rumiko: "How did she die?"

Ruki: "Heart attack."

Rumiko: "Huh? How old was she?"

Ruki: "92."

Shu: "PFTTTT!!!!" *begins laughing uncontrollably*

Rumiko: "Stop laughing!!! He loved her!"

Ruki: "It's fine..."

Rumiko: "Why do you call that your worst experience though?"

Ruki: "She cheated on me with Kou."

Rumiko/Shu: *both laughing now*

Shu: "Hahaha, th-that must have been tough huh?"

Ruki: "Please... Let's stop talking about this."

Rumiko: *takes a deep breath* "...Yea, let's change the subject ... How about we play some darts?"

Shu: "You're all going to lose... I may be drunk but I'm still the best at playing darts." *drunkenly takes the darts out of the board*

Ruki: "What a joke. You can't even walk straight. You think you'll be able to throw straight?"

Shu: "... Shut up." *intensely focuses on the dart board* *throws*

Instead of hitting the dart board, he hits a painting of a sexy waitress a hung on the wall next to the dart board. The dart lands right exactly on the woman's breast.

Rumiko: "SHU!"

Ruki: "...Nice. We're gonna have to pay for that."

Shu: "...I told you I... was good..." *passes out on the floor*

Ruki: *sigh* "I knew this would happen."

Rumiko: "Let's get him out of here fast. I'll grab one arm and you grab the other—."

Ruki: *picks up Shu* *throws him over his arm* "Lets go."

Rumiko: "Y-Yes!"

END

I hope you enjoyed reading !!! 💕

I had so much fun writing this!

[lordmartiya]

Fox Rain chapter 03

@lilanette-week

@supermenteuse

@emblian

@starcrossed-stardust

I’m back! Sorry for the delay, but I needed to find information on foreign etiquette-and writing it was absurdly hard. Anyway, I started writing this chapter after the first episode of season 3. I will take some hints from that, but I still remain of the opinion I had when I started writing this: that Lila, when she first appeared, wasn’t evil. That, and in her months of absence she had been the target of a very experienced manipulator capable of using excessive means (seriously, financing a movie just to piss Lila off at the right moment?!)… And today we have the decisive moment. What, at least in my version, would have started pushing Lila toward the one villain that Papillon cannot control, but, due different circumstances, has a completely different outcome.

Chapter 03: Her Holyland

“Salima, was Vorpika hidden inside a half-Klingon, half-duck creature?!”

“I suppose we could call it that, y-”

The suite’s phone ringed, prompting Salima to distract herself-just long enough for her charge to leave.

Natalie took the pre-paid SIM card out of the old burner dumbphone, broke it, and threw it in the public thrash bin. It had done its job to try and isolate Lila Rossi from her oldest friend, and no matter if it worked or not it wouldn’t do to risk it being traced back to her. She had made the call from her car as she went to work for that reason, after all.

As she prepared to go back to Agreste’s mansion she started hoping it would work. She was painfully aware of how they were acting, and would be rather infuriating if it failed.

“WHO IN THE FUCKING WORLD WAS SUCH A DERANGED IDIOT TO PUT THIS ON LILA’S DESK?!” Lila and Marinette heard shouting.

That the shouter was Chloe Bourgeois, that she was pointing at the sheet of paper in her hand, and she had been cursing were all hints it was something unforgivable and she was beyond furious. Enough Lila glanced around for an Akuma, before grabbing the sheet from a very surprised Bourgeois and seeing it was a printout of a gossip site praising “Vorpika, the Real Wielder of the Fox Miraculous” and shitting on Volpina.

“I take I was being punked when they told me it’s a Parisian tradition to give new students some toilet paper?” Lila replied as she crumpled it, stopping Bourgeois mid-step as she was about to bolt.

“You-you aren’t getting Akumatized? I mean-”

“Just some idiot running their mouth and someone who should deal with I-know-what a better way.” Lila declared. Then, noting the whole class was there, she continued: “Speaking of idiots, I apologize for considering you one, and I think I did call you that, for taking at face value that claim about Jagged Stone. I had no idea it was believable.”

“Huff! As long as you admit you were wrong…” the mayor’s daughter replied. “But for the future, remember that in the class where everyone but two students and the homeroom teacher have been Akumatized at least once everything is believable.”

“And that makes sarcastic claims much more difficult to do.” the Italian girl replied with irritation. She had spent two whole weeks to come up with something unbelievable that would be immediate to the French, only to end in the same class as the daughter of Jagged Stone’s landlord and the girl who designed and created his Eiffel Tower glasses in an afternoon and drew the cover art for Rock Giant… What was she supposed to claim if she didn’t want to be believable? That Jagged Stone had a kitten? No, if what she had heard about his crocodile was true that could be believable too…

“Why don’t you use calling cards that declare you’re the Queen of Sheba?” Rose proposed, answering to the unvoiced question.

“For a very good reason: I hadn’t thought about it. You’re a lifesaver.”

With that Lila went to her seat, near Kudzberg, wondering why did Marinette and some of the others seemed so surprised about Bourgeois’ actions. Obviously she didn’t believe she’d let someone get Akumatized on purpose, so why she was so surprised?

As the class was being let out for the lunch break, Marinette was still having trouble believing that Chloe had been trying to stop an Akumatization. Maybe she was being unjust with her, but with everything she had pulled, especially in the four years before Marinette received her Miraculous, it was just surreal to see her trying to be helpful.

“But seriously, what’s with that stupid name? Vorpika, ha!” Chloe let out as she had been talking with Sabrina of the new hero, putting the world back in place.

“It’s Italian slang for “Fox-themed antihero from Rome”.” Marinette explained.

“And you expect me to believe it?”

“Would a confirmation from a Roman of Rome help?” Lila intervened. “The short version is that, back in the 1960s, the comic book Diabolik and its villainous protagonist made such an impression that it spawned an entire subgenre of Italian crime comics, and between that and Disney, of all publishers, getting in the game, in Italy names that end with “-ik” are reserved for villains and antiheroes of both genders, and “-ika” for female antiheroes(1). And if you add it to an actual word you can also get the character’s theme. For example, an evil guitarist would be named Chitarrik(2), a certain most evil comic book character was named Satanik(3) and Vorpika takes her name from the word for “fox” in Romanesco, the dialect of my beautiful Rome.

“An association quite obvious to an Italian… But not to a Frenchgirl, especially so far from the border. Let me guess, Italian relatives?”

“My grandmother, she used to visit often enough I picked up the language, well, I understand it, and a few other things, including body language. I used to be mistaken for an Italian on that alone…”

“Could have been worse, you could have been mistaken for an Englishgirl.”

Marinette was starting to get worried about Lila’s apparent hatred for England, but before she could even think to ask anything a tan boy their own age, dressed in rather covering clothes and with a pair of dark glasses and the most fake pair of mustache on his face, barged in and started addressing Lila in a language Marinette didn’t understand, with Lila covertly passing her phone to Rose that for some reason, used it to call someone as she left the classroom.

As Lila was calming down the newcomer, Marinette went in a corner and covertly asked Tikki what was happening.

“He guessed that Lila is Vorpika, apparently she “signed” her first appearance.” Tikki whispered. “Also, he thinks she got Akumatized on purpose to cover for it.”

As Marinette tried to process the fact someone could think Lila would do something like that (and noticed that Adrien too was in a corner and looked as Lila as she had grown a second head), none other than prince Ali’s chaperon came in and grabbed the boy with the fake mustache, who was looking at Lila in surprise.

“Had Rose call Salima, because, seriously, you have a crack shot as a chaperon for a reason.” Lila told her friend-who Marinette realized was the Prince Ali. “Seriously you can’t just come here like that!”

“After school at the hotel?” Ali replied.

“After school at the hotel. Stay safe, Lustro.”

“Don’t get into your nickname, Shijjar.”

As she looked at the prince being grabbed away by his chaperon, Marinette went to Lila, trying to speak through the shock.

“Yes, we are on nicknames term, comes with being each other’s oldest non-imaginary friend.” Lila said. “And no, we aren’t dating even if someone seems convinced we’re secret lovers.”

As Rose gave a shy smile at the remark, Marinette started wondering exactly how much had Lila actually lied, and why. It made no sense…

Trixx liked Lila for many reasons. Among others there were her cunning, her ability to use the illusions to their full and devastating effect, the “if I’m smart enough to pull it off” attitude (though that meant he’d have to work a lot to keep it in check. Especially at how she had accidentally used the “I’m half-Klingon half-duck”(4) in-joke between her and her friend and outed herself on the first sortie), the fact she actually knew how to play the dizi (he was a musical kwami, he needed that and instructing the Holder was always a pain), the wealth and related unwillingness to spend too much (by the description of her wardrobe, he’d have cried in pain had he been entrusted to Chloe Bourgeois), and the immense quantity of hair (made possible by the wealth) that allowed the kwami to stay close to her head without being noticed. The latter was especially useful right in that moment, as Lila, after visiting her royal friend, had just been given a potentially devastating news.

“What did you say?” Lila whispered in shock.

“This morning a woman called us and revealed that not only you aren’t friends with Ladybug, but also that you refused an offer of friendship.” Salima, the chaperon, repeated. “I of course reported this and all the very numerous details to His Majesty, who gave precise instructions.”

“Shijjar, my friend, you must make amends with Ladybug.” the prince said, looking pained. Trixx believed it was because he knew Lila well enough to anticipate her answer, or what she was thinking. “You are my sister in anything but blood, but our kingdom cannot afford to be seen linked to the enemies of Paris’ protector.”

Trixx knew exactly what Lila was thinking, who she was going to blame, and how she was going to react. He understood how angry she was, and that she’d blame the wrong person-unless he made her notice something:

“The chaperon said “woman”, not “girl”.” he whispered to his Chosen. And by her slight wincing he knew she had understood.

“It is not His Majesty’s policy to support such foolishness.” Salima said.

“But letting a terrorist use him and his heir to manipulate a girl is?” Lila replied coldly.

“What are you trying to come up with to get out of your trouble?”

“Who were the witnesses?” the prince instead asked, quickly realizing what his old friend meant.

“Only Ladybug, Adrien Agreste and myself were present for the initial encounter, though the terrorist Papillon obviously knows though the same magic he uses to find his victims. As for our later disagreement, it took place above Gustave Eiffel’s apartment in the Tower, with only Ladybug, Chat Noir and myself present-and the terrorist once again knows thanks to his magic.” Lila explained.

“And we actually don’t know if he has accomplices.”

“What?! Your Highness, you can’t believe this girl!” Salima protested.

“Why, exactly? It certainly makes more sense than the alternative. Would you please inform my father about this?”

“There is no need.” an unfamiliar voice announced, coming from an equally unfamiliar man that had appeared in the computer’s screen. Unfamiliar to Trixx, because the humans appeared to know who it belonged to, though both Lila and the prince appeared startled.

“Your majesty, I was not aware of your presence.” Lila said to the man without bowing, heavily hinting what country this man was king of. The following words confirmed it: “And I believe your son wasn’t either.”

“That was the point. I needed to know if he was ready to assume greater duties-though I cannot say I’m displeased to have missed this chance due something we should have suspected all along.”

“In the current circumstances? Easily forgiven.”

“Then I believe you should share the saltiest bread.”

“Of course, father.” the prince replied with a smile.

“I’m grateful for your attention, though I believe your subjects are worthier of it than myself.” Lila continued, in a display that would have likely confused many of the other kwami who lacked experience with the Arabic etiquette.

“I’ll follow your suggestion, then. Just… Please, find an honorable peace with Ladybug as soon as possible. Be well.”

As the king of Akdor left the conversation, Lila turned to Salima with an unpleasant smile.

“And so, we kept you from causing a mess.” she stated. “Though I believe I should be grateful-now I know who I should ruin.”

“Lila, calm down.” the prince told her.

“I am calm. Calmer than I thought I’d be with this mess.”

“That’s what worries me-you were just like this before you started denying non-existing rumors at your London school.”

“I agree, we should all calm down and discuss things around a good coffee.” Salima added.

“I’m not taking advice from you. You almost cost me my place in the world, my trust in people and my friends, my… Uh uh… My Holyland, that’s what you nearly cost me.”

“What did you say?” the woman hissed.

“Nevermind, I’ve read the hotel’s brochure and I see we need one of their services. Follow me, both of you… And please don’t interfere.”

The tone of the last phrase worried Trixx. The prince too, he looked focused and wondering what his old friend was thinking to do.

As she, her friend-currently doing something with his phone-and the add-on went to look for the one she needed, Lila was taking deep breaths to keep calm after being completely manipulated like that. Just a simple phone call from an accomplice and Papillon had her murderously furious at Ladybug, to the point she had almost been about to renounce to what until the previous day had called her oldest non-imaginary friendship just to have a shot at destroying her, and lose all remaining trust in her friends in the process. Sure, Lustro, the add-on and His Majesty had been fooled too, but considering what their realm was going on they had an excuse to not notice on the spot, while she had needed Trixx to realize what was happening.

Still, raging would not help. All she needed was to play along, wait for her chance, and at the right moment rip the Butterfly Miraculous from him and throw him to the authorities-no matter what his reasons were, the Princess Fragrance incident had left the French government and judiciary with no reason but hitting him with the full weight of their laws, and that was without counting Volpina and everything else(5). Maybe the French authorities would consider reopening Devil’s Island just for sake of a papillon pun(6)-that was what she’d do if she could, at least.

For now, however, she’d be content with exposing him for what he was besides a terrorist, and crumble the romantic ideas some people had to have on him. Not personally or by Lustro’s hand, she needed him not knowing she had found out. No, the Tiger would do it-she wouldn’t deny her this favor, and as she was in Beijing and normally lived in Tokyo and showed her location on the Ladyblog’s forum it was unlikely she’d be connected to her, even if the bowtie hebephile could track internet connections.

And now that she had found Bourgeois, she could get the password for the wi-fi and talk to her friend.

“Bourgeois, I need your help.” she asked to the mayor’s daughter, who had been using the phone.

“Uh… Just a moment.” the blonde replied before doing something and turning to her. “What can I do for you?”

“Well, I would need the wi-fi password, even a temporary one. I need to urgently contact a friend who’s currently in Beijing, a friend that doesn’t have the, how is it said in French, well, she’d end up spending a lot if I called her without internet and I just don’t have the time to go back to the Italian embassy or register at an internet cafe.”

“Does that have anything to do with your current collective mood?”

“Yes.”

“And it’s a o-”

Chloe was interrupted by her phone’s ringtone, Clara Nightingale’s It’s Ladybug, but touched it and put it away.

“Sorry for the interruption, Lila. Now, this thing that’s getting you furious and that you need need the wi-fi password for, it’s a one-time only, right?”

“Of course. I know I’m not registered as a guest and shouldn’t access the wi-fi, but…”

“Save it, here’s the password.” Chloe said as she pulled out a ticket with a password. “But remember, you owe me.”

“Thanks.” she replied, and web-called her friend.

“What’s up, Zorra?” her friend saluted her in French-one of the languages they shared-except for the chosen word for “female fox”.

“Just a thing that happened today.” she replied in Japanese. A language none of the presents knew, aside for Trixx, so they wouldn’t be able to stop her. “It’s a bit long to explain, and it’s urgent, but… Could you start a discussion on the Ladyblog’s forum and denounce Papillon as a pedophile?”

“… Why aren’t you doing it by yourself? Wait, are you planning to try and make yourself an accomplice to strike him down at the right moment?!”

“Exactly.”

“Don’t you think it’s crazy?”

“Precisely. And why it’ll work.”

“Uh-uh. By the way, does your Arabian prince know of what happened to make you plan that? Because I was on the forum right now and someone from Paris, username “Fatimid”, has just started that very discussion.”

“Come, scusa?”

“A guy calling himself Fatimid has started this very discussion a few minutes ago. Sounds like Prince Ali to me.”

“Oh. Sorry for disturbing you. I suppose tomorrow you’ll have to work with the movie…”

“Second day of shooting… And he’s even hotter in person!”

“Just… Just don’t make your parents grandparents, ok?”

“Not for another three years-no child of mine will be called a bastard! Good luck in that madpeople cage!”

“And you don’t start a revolution. Good night!”

Lila took another deep breath to calm herself, then she turned to the prince and leveled a glare to him.

“I’m your oldest non-imaginary friend, remember? We may have met before the Pantherhunt, but I still know exactly how you think.” Ali reminded her, completely unfazed. “And I’m not letting you get in that kind of mess.”

“What if I wanted to get in that kind of mess?”

“Then you were too angry to think straight.” called an unexpected voice, prompting Lila to turn-and see Ladybug and Chat Noir standing near a very smug Chloe, who was showing that her cellphone had an ongoing call… With Ladybug.

“Listen, Ladybug, I just discovered that Papillon tried a horrible thing, and-” Lila started, but was interrupted.

“And you’re going to let him anger you and give him power over you?”

Lila stopped, surprised at what she had just been said. She had to admit, at least to herself, she had screwed up. And she should be grateful to Ladybug-but why had she done it? She could have manipulated her so easily had she just let her stay angry…

“Wait, where’s Vorpika?” Chloe asked, jolting Lila from her thoughts.

“She’d been in Tokyo until a few days ago and was too busy investigating a possible trail to Papillon to rest.” Ladybug explained, surprising Lila again. The superheroine was quite good at lying for someone who hated lies so much…

Nathalie Sanscour was a user of the Ladyblog forum, and prone to use it during work hours. “Secretly”, of course-officially she had to keep it secret from Gabriel or risk a reprimand or being fired, something that would come handy if Adrien or the Gorilla (she really needed to find out his real name) saw her while she looked if someone slipped something useful for Paris’ supervillain. And her scouting of the forum was the reason for her current anger.

“Nathalie, calm down.” Gabriel told her, ignoring Nooroo as he chuckled at the irony.

“Calm down?!” the woman replied. “Sir, they’re calling you a pedophile! A PEDOPHILE!”

“And how did we act with Rossi?”

“Well, we tried to manipulate her, and-”

“She’s fourteen. Or fifteen. Between the age gap and teenagers being Akumatizable far more often than adults, it was only to be expected they’d mistake me for a pedophile.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I can shoulder this until I win-and then, it will have never happened. Now excuse me, but I need to set a supervillain on Rossi or the prince as soon as possible-I have a character to keep.”

As she waited for Vorpika with Chat Noir at the Eiffel Tower, Ladybug thought at what she had seen of Lila at the hotel-and the effect of her words. It had been a gamble, based on how close she was acting to certain things she had wanted to do before Tikki… And it had worked. That gave her a different perspective on the Italian traveler-one she’d rather not have, if it wasn’t for the bullet everyone, and especially Lila, had just dodged. If nothing else, Chat had accepted to just follow her lead on that-she hadn’t managed to tell about that even to Tikki, and Chat, sadly, was out.

“Hi, guys.” Vorpika said as she arrived, before coming extremely close to Ladybug. “The thing at the hotel, how, and why?”

“Well, we gave Chloe our numbers due the many Akumatizations she causes so at least she can get us to intervene, and she hadn’t abused it.” Chat interjected, trying to distract the fox. “Not yet, at least. We gave them to the mayor, Jean David the butler, the Agreste’s Gorilla, Marinette…”

“Makes sense… But it wasn’t about that. Ladybug, how did you know what to say to calm me down, and why?”

“I’d rather not talk about how I knew-and frankly, you wouldn’t believe it.” Ladybug replied. “As for why… Why not?”

“Because you could have easily turned me into your pawn, eliminated a future enemy and gained the best attack fox in Paris, that’s why!”

“Maybe I don’t want that. I want you as a friend, not a pawn.”

Vorpika stepped back, thoughtful and curious, muttering something about owing Ladybug her “holyland” (and using the English word). Then, after a few seconds, she asked: “Where did you guys learn how to fight without weapons?”

“I did some karate(7)-” Chat started.

“What style? Goju Ryu, Shotokan, Kyokushin? Was it sundome, or-”

“I was five and mom and father pulled me out after a month. Never knew why.”

“Oh. And you, Ladybug?”

“Well, I try and imitate my cousin, she’s a Savate practitioner and often shows off her moves to try and get me to join.” Ladybug said.

“So, one may or may have learned something years ago and never practiced again, and the other tries to imitate advanced moves without knowing the basics. Explains why you’re so bad. Fists in front of the face, now.”

After that, Vorpika taught them the jab-cross combo, or one-two. The very basic of boxing, she had said while she moved Ladybug’s left arm through the jab motions. Ladybug knew it was her way to not feel indebted for pulling her out of her anger at the hotel, not an actual sign of friendship, but was willing to wait. Maybe it would never happen, but at least she’d make sure to save her from herself and that she didn’t need saving-that was what she promised to herself.

Notes

(1)The longer version is as follows: in 1962 Diabolik was first published, and its success spawned the “Nero Italiano” (Italian Noir) genre, comic books characterized by being a rather violent take on the crime genre and featuring protagonists whose name includes the letter “k” (not used in Italian words) or, sometimes, the suffix “-ik”; among the public outrage (including even judicial seizures and trials) also appeared parodies such as Cattivik (created by Bonvi, of Sturmtruppen’s fame, and then gifted to fellow author Silver) and Dorellik, and Disney Italy, when creating an antihero alter ego for Donald Duck, named it Paperinik (also known as “Duck Avenger” in the English-speaking world), adding the suffix “-ik” to Donald’s Italian name “Paperino”, and this being still Disney they also gave one to Daisy (in Italy, “Paperina”. Disney is usually more clever than this…) and called it “Paperinika”; while the genre all but disappeared under moral outrage and the low quality of most of Diabolik’s successors, it and especially Diabolik (who is still published) had already left a standing impact on Italian comics and media, that included the association of the suffix “-ik” with antiheroes and villains and “-ika” with female antiheroes.

(2)That is how Guitar Villain is named in the Italian dub of Miraculous Ladybug.

(3)An actual Italian comic book created to ride on Diabolik’s success, whose protagonist renamed herself Satanik upon getting the power to act on her revenge plans.

(4)Blame Astruc, he said that when he was asked about Lila’s ethnicity. Then again, that and crazier could be applied to all Italians…

(5)The Princess Fragrance incident saw an Akuma villain attack foreign royalty and diplomatic personnel (what the prince’s chaperon would count as), both covered by diplomatic immunity, and he made a full threesome of attacks on people covered by diplomatic immunity the moment he Akumatized Lila, the daughter of an Italian diplomat. Simply put, after those stunts the minimum Gabriel can get is life in jail with eligibility for parole at 18 years.

(6)The Bagne du Cayenne (Penal Colony of Cayenne), also known as Devil’s Island, was a French prison famous for being used for internal exile of political prisoners and the harsh treatment of the inmates (up to 75% death rate). Closed in 1953, the prison is the subject of numerous books and movies, including Henri Charriére’s best-seller Papillon.

(7)Chat said that in “Simon Says”. Given his performance and Gabriel being Gabriel, either his dojo wasn’t focused on combat (more common than one would expect) or he didn’t stay there long.

[mentalcurls]

1.1 Illegale

I’ve hummed and hawed a lot over writing this post, for two reasons: there are somewhat unpopular opinions in it and this particular clip is so hard for me to watch, I literally always pause it at least five or six times to calm down. But I’d mentioned a couple of months ago that I would do something about to it and I don’t like to leave things like that hanging, plus I’m hoping to exorcise some of my negative feelings, so here we are. Listicle as usual.

the voicemails give me chills every single time and that’s all I’m going to say

right from the start the focus is on Emma, dancing with a friend

whose POV is the camera embodying? The first shot is a group of girls, then we have Edoardo, Federico and Chicco smoking and watching the girls, then the camera focuses on three specific and particularly noticeable girls: the girl with the silver sparkling top dancing with Emma, the dark haired girl with the black dress and bright lipstick and the blue-haired girl we will see at radio meetings later on; then there are some guys making a lantern fly, then Emma dancing with her friend, with a glimpse of Canegallo talking to Edoardo about either Emma herself or the friend, then there’s Silvia looking dejected. The obvious answer would be that it’s Silvia’s POV, but I actually think that at first the camera shows the guys’ POV, then switches to Silvia’s for at least two reasons: first of all, the camera changes position (you can see it from the fact that in the first shot we see her Emma is on the right while silver top girl is on the left, whereas later Emma is on the left and her friend is on the right); second, the first three girls stand out from the others because their clothing, makeup or hair is bright and designed to catch people’s attention and it’s not hard to tell that they are Edoardo’s and his friends’ type, while Emma is dressed in a completely different, sporty and casual, way, which is probably the thing that earned her the reputation as a bit of a “zecca” (as Marti describes her to his friends in the bathtub) and she definitely doesn’t fit the Villa guys’ aesthetic or tastes; on the other hand Emma has several characteristics that attract Silvia’s attention like a magnet. Emma is not trying hard at all but she exudes a natural air of coolness, she dances like she doesn’t have a care in the world and like no-one is watching her, she dresses like she wants and doesn’t care about fitting in but a lot of people like her anyways, she’s  beautiful even without much makeup and thin and graceful and genuinely having fun and the boys (Edoardo) are staring in her direction. And Silvia wants to be all of that, to have all of that. (Because that’s what her sister Francesca is like obvs)

so: guys’ POV first, Silvia’s second

I don’t even think Silvia putting down her cake is because of her issues with eating, a big part of it is probably that the cake literally turned sour to her

after putting the plate down, in fact, Silvia eats something else, so I don’t think she’s doing a Vilde S2 at this point

anyways, she goes to find her friends and when she manifests her worries, albeit in a pretty childish and petulant way, Sana and Fede dismiss her and laugh at her as their first reaction (Fede’s drunk so there’s that, but Sana 😕 girl 😕 did you forget what happened in June already? Bland reassurances that sound like platitudes won’t cut it with Silvia)

so Silvia goes in search of her more supportive friends, Eva and Ele, and that’s a smart move, except her wandering takes her right back to the starting point, looking at Edo from the other side of the room while he studiously avoids acknowledging her

bless Filippo Sava for pulling her out of her own head a bit

a Filippo Sava WITH NO LIP PIERCING

and like, Filippo is at his peak “uomo gay pride” here, but at the same time he lets his campiness and the excuse of a joke justify some unwanted touches that had my eyebrows raising when I saw the clip for the first time and has them raised still now

the way Edoardo summons Eleonora to his presence gets on my nerves; he’s being indifferent so they won’t get caught interacting, intellectually I know that, but that slight tilting of his chin just reads so fucking entitled

Skam Italia, don’t go breaking my heart by joking about Eleonora’s sexuality (especially after Mia has been confirmed bi in Druck) and with Eva there joking about being jealous I ALREADY KNOW THEY’D MAKE A PERFECT COUPLE OK?

and right then a wild Martino appears, wandering round the party like Bambi wanders in the woods

and Eva. She’s probably been sending Marti signals all summer, ever since she broke up with Gio and informed Marti of the fact in that expectant way at the end of the year party. I mean, he told her he likes her and she doesn’t want to believe that the porn Eleonora found on his phone really means what her friend thought it meant. And Marti’s cute, he’s a really good guy and he’s nice and they’ve been friends for a while so he knows her, he’s seen her at her lowest and stuck by her. She needs all of these things, after Gio, after the mess with Canegallo, she wants nice and familiar and steady. Except Marti keeps her at arm's length 99% of the time, barely answers her texts, never writes her first, is always too busy to hang out. Eva excuses him for a while: he doesn’t want to hurt Gio, fine, but it’s been a while now; his family situation is really complicated, that’s okay, maybe she could help, or a least distract him a bit every now and then. Then school starts so he’s busy with that. But after a whole summer and almost a month of school, well, message fucking received, dude. She’s gonna give him one last chance to show some real interest in her before she gives up and accepts he’s uninterested. And probably gay. Which is fine, by the way, she doesn’t mind or anything, but it means he lied to her. Again.

I don’t really get why Eva acts so over the top though. She acts like she’s drunk, throws herself at him. Why would Marti go for that? Is it a last resort, has Eva tried literally everything else she could think of? Does she think that by putting him on the spot, if he really likes her he’ll forget the potential hangups he has about Gio? Does she pretend to be drunk to give him an excuse of sorts? She must smell the weed on him when she hugs him, so if he wanted to make a move then they could plausibly say they both weren’t in their right mind, so as not to hurt Gio. But then, does she only want a hook up? With one of her best friends?

well, whatever her reasons are, it all fails and Marti rejects her. Which, I could have told her. Marti is nice, remember? He wouldn’t take advantage of a drunk girl, especially not when they’re friends. (Not like some other people who’d happily hook up with Argentina when she’s drunk, I’m looking at you ep.5!Contrabbandieri)

oh, but Eva’s “Yeah, yeah, go back to Gio, go” is so bitter! She’s defeated, Marti hasn’t proved her wrong, he actually confirmed her worst fears. So as hard as it is to face this fact, she has to conclude he did lie to her again, despite everything, and she feels like a fool for falling for it. What an asshole.

Marti answering the phone in a house that’s not even his kills me every time

and I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE SEE LUCHINO God, how time flies, it feels like he’s always been there

the boys start discussing girls. Marti’s descriptions of them are 100% non sexualized, non objectifying: Emma is tall and a bit of a “zecca” (I’m not super familiar with Roman slang, but Google tells me it is used for “radical chic” people who look a bit slovenly and like stoners, so not exactly flattering but at least it’s not sexual), Polidoro is the girl who got stuck in the elevator last year

on the other hand Elia, then Luca, then Giovanni immediately start judging the girls based on their attractiveness, the fuckability, their boobs. Standard sleazy teenagers.

and Marti goes straight into defense mode, starts saying he doesn’t like them and goes all the way back to the other hand of the spectrum from sleaze to fastidious with just a touch of misogyny

“busta di piscio” just hits me in my gut every single fricking time. I am Italian, but I’m not from Rome, so I’d never heard this particular slang terminology before Skam Italia, so I might be overreacting, except fuck you, it’s a horrible thing to say about someone, aside from the pure unpleasantness of being compared to urine, you’re dismissing someone as pure waste. So yeah, fuck you, Martino. Thank God you’ll grow up quite a bit over the course of the season.

anyways. The boys press Marti, backing him into a corner (even more of a corner than the literal one he’s already sitting in) waiting for him to talk about a girl he likes. And, obviously, Marti goes for the safest aka the most widely liked who’s also the most unreachable. Textbook. And he weathers his friends comments about being choosy and the jokes about Federica cause having that reputation is way easier than being known as the gay guy

honestly, you can feel his discomfort. Up until now the party has been one landmine after the other for Marti

also, Federica. She’s always Federicona for the guys, cause she’s not a size 38, and while in this clip they don’t explicitly touch on that, it’s a big part of why the guys joke about hooking up with her, cause she’s considered unattractive. The other reason is the whole on-going saga of her showing an open, uninhibited interest in Marti: she’s an outspoken, enterprising young woman who has no problem showing people what she wants and that makes the boys so uncomfortable, cause it means they’re not the “predators” in that scenario. The spoon thing might have been a bit over the top, but you can bet that if Nico had done that at some point over the next couple of episodes Marti would have been all over him, or that if Eva had done that for Gio it would have been considered a cute form of foreplay like Gio’s Instagram video with the tongue in S1, or if any other girl the boys deem fuckable had done it they’d be all over her

Elia wants 20 euros for both the weed and Fede’s gift, but Marti only ever gives him 5 euros which means he didn’t even give him the money for the gift

and Emma makes her grand entrance!

Gio looks stunned, either he really likes Emma or he’s worried she might somehow know about the way they’ve been talking about her

contrary to Skam og and Skam France, she’s alone, but just like in the other two versions Marti (/Isak/Lucas) takes charge of their interaction, except where his Norwegian and French counterparts are smooth and charming, he’s quite a bit of an asshole, displaying an incredible ability for humiliating jokes. This can’t even be considered pigtail pulling, this is straight up being shit

also, mansplaining! Emma’s not and idiot, if the other bathroom had been available she would have used it

the jerks! Jesus but they piss me off so bad. Gio, Elia and Luca laugh and joke with Marti at Emma’s expense, then they propose exchanging a basic thing like access to a private place to pee for occasions to be even creepier than they already are. Oh God, how I hate them right now

this is toxic masculinity. I Contrabbandieri are considered immune to it, but the most I feel comfortable saying is that they get better about it with time, when Marti’s hardships bring them together and change their perspectives a bit, but right now? The locker room talk, the considering girls as nothing more than their bodies, the mocking, the indirect fat-shaming, putting their “need” to keep the bathtub above Emma physiological needs

the thing is, Emma is so used to this kind of behaviour, she accepts it without question or reproach for the most part. She just laughs along with them, trying not to be difficult, to diffuse the situation; when she agrees to make out with one of them it she chooses the one who treated her the worst, because pigtail pulling means a boy likes you and just doesn’t know how to show it in a mature way, right? So she goes for Marti, even going as far as forgoing her physiological needs because she kisses him first, and she was willing to blow him first, before actually peeing, despite saying that she really had to go (and even then, she apparently pees with him in the room? what even); anyways, the point is that this whole thing is crazy sexist

the zipper sounds, oh, how it brings back far more pleasant memories

let us all not forget (and Silvia doesn’t let us forget) there was a sliding door between the washbasin + bathtub area and the toilet area so Emma could have peed without causing any trouble at all (she probably did, actually, since Marti was still in the room when she went) (I’m confused, was it all her elaborate plan to be alone with him? Had she even ever seen him before? And even if she liked him, why go for shim when he proves to be such a jerk to her? I can’t make sense of this)

Eva looks so lost! Apparently Marti hooked up with a girl who’s not her? So he’s not gay? But he still lied to her about liking her? Or maybe not, it was just a one time thing to distract himself from her? Because he really doesn’t want to upset Gio? So does she wait? Why isn’t he sending any kind of positive signal to her then?

i Contrabbandieri just assume Marti got laid, and like, came this fast? Is this the kind of faith they have in their friend? They just presume he has no stamina rather than think he didn’t get laid?

Edoardo Incanti is a mansplainer, would you look at that, such a surprise; the apparent helpfulness, the assumption that Eleonora is struggling with her lantern and that she’ll catch fire if left to her own devices make me catch fire cause I can’t stand these forms of benevolent-ish sexism

he literally tries to explain the UK to her when she’s the one who’s lived there for a month already!

Eleonora is smizing, what on earth

Edoardo really can’t take no for an answer huh?

oooh, i Contrabbandieri honestly think there are no other cops and they’ll be able to just slink away? Bless their hearts

they actually try to get the policeman to pity them by saying they weren’t invited to the party when he stops them! Bless their hearts super hard

I forgot to point it out, but there was the very first GioElia™ patented look when Covitti came in while they were in the bathroom, and right now we have a second one!

the biggest BLESS THEIR HEART award goes to the wild run from the police even though Marti’s ditched the weed

Gio hugging Marti always breaks my heart, mostly cause it’s pretty much the mirrored image of Eva hugging Marti when he went to get the beers, except she tried to kiss him when he didn’t want her to, whereas with Gio it’s just a grateful, friendly hug even though Marti would love for Gio to kiss him. In the immortal words of dr Roberto Spera, bella merda.

Ok that’s it! I’m stopping right her, I don’t think I can do the same thing I did for S1 with a full commentary of all the episodes (I mean, this is about four GDoc pages and we’re only halfway through the episode, can you imagine how much more I could write?). Still, I’m glad I managed to write down my thoughts on what bugs me so much about this clip. Talk to me via ask or comment if you have questions or disagree with me, I’m alway open to discussion!

[nightblink]

Blink Reads Oathbringer - Chapters 69-74

In which Evi Kholin still deserves better but at least Dailnar’s a smidge more worthy than last time, I delight in how close Kaladin and Adolin have become, and Shallan and her mental state deteriorate further and worry me even more.

Also, Azure.

Chapter Sixty-Nine – Free Meal, No Strings

Considering what we’re getting from the Elsecaller here, apparently Urithiru has the ability to affect not only the general climate either in or around the tower proper, but also the “pressure” which I assume means air pressure, since we know that that’s what’s manipulated by adhesion. Which. Interesting. If the tower really is located up at an altitude where breathing would become difficult, I can definitely see why they’d need that ability there, especially when Oathgating directly from sea-level Thaylen City up to Urithiru or vice versa. (what is acclimation, much?)

Ooo, so the Voidspren can sense Surges then, and not just fabrial use? It’s just that Shallan’s Illumination Surge is somehow sneakier than – at the very least – Gravitation. And they’re definitely drawn to the Surges and not the mere presence of stormlight (nobody could keep their spheres infused otherwise).

Gotta admit, while those flying-Fused clothes are hardly practical, they do have a fantastically dramatic style.

Kaladin is not happy over the lighteyes throwing their end-of-the-world parties while Rome Kholinar burns, understandably so. It’s dumb, but rich people.

“Please tell me that you didn’t bring us to live with your tailor because you wanted a new wardrobe.” Kaladin, even you have to admit that he likely looks stunning (and not just because it fits tightly through the chest). Powder blue over the dark bronze of his skin, gold embroidery accentuating the glint of his hair? Seriously. The man knows how to dress. Well. Kaladin might not admit that (to himself, aloud, at all, whatever) but these two have obviously settled into a comfortable level of teasing each other, and it’s fantastic. (Also, comfort on the level that Adolin is calling him Kal, and Kaladin hasn’t said or even had a thought of telling him not to. None of the bridgemen even do that, not after Moash left.)

So much physical contact from Adolin this chapter, dang. Ahhh, but he made friends with Skar and Drehy after the Battle of Narak! It does remind me of the time way back (I think in the first book?) when Dalinar was grumbling about(?)/noting him being companionable with the lower-ranking Kholin officers and rank-and-file soldiers. Those three at a tavern though, oh man, I may have to write fic about that.

OOP, AND JUST AS I BRING THAT UP-

Oh, Kaladin. Depression fucking sucks, and while I'm so glad you've been having a lot of good days, stormlight can't wipe that away like it can with scars.

Adolin notices! And drops back to check on you! Ahhhh, honestly, with how you two are getting to know each other well, I feel like you'd start picking up on each others' tells often and come to help in what ways you can, and I'm so glad to actually see that happening.

PUNCHY GUYS, I'M  DY I N G

“talk like a girl” is definitely a compliment when it's sort of the default cultural assumption that women are more intelligent (and I'd bet good money that Adolin's been the butt of wordplay jokes enough when they knew he needed a moment to Logic It Out in his head, but in this instance Kaladin gives him that moment, and doesn't scoff or demean. You two have come so far.)

Please become sparring buddies, I beg you Sanderson. Kaladin's got powers but Adolin's better with technical skill; it would be a great matchup for them to improve.

Kaladin: [just goes out for a moment to patrol around the block] [immediately gets stopped by a squad from the Wall Guard] ….you have some strange brand of luck, Kal. At least it still counts as getting information on the Wall Guard like your part of this mission tonight is?

Storms, but that shash brand is persistent.

Chapter Seventy – Highmarshal Azure

AIGHT WE MIGHT FINALLY FIND OUT WHO THIS AZURE PERSON IS AND WHETHER THEY'RE A NALTHIAN

“the Sibling” again. What on Roshar is that referring to? And the state of the Radiants can affect whatever-it-is somehow, or at least is perceived to maybe have an effect?

At long last, Kaladin finds somewhere in this eerily-shadowed city that he can relax. Alas, it doesn't have the true comfort that is Rock's cooking.

These soldiers seem like they're probably a ragtag bunch of misfits as well, anyone who had decent training cobbled together to help man the walls when the Fused and Parshmen started attacking, adding people to their ranks as refugees trailed in. Beggars can't be choosers, and Kholinar is besieged. Still, their comportment does speak well of Azure.

….[squints] Either the Guard has a way in and out of the city that you're not telling anyone, or you have some way of creating food (that you're also not telling). I'm not getting a strong vibe as to which it may be.

All of them are lighteyed? Is it the entire Wall Guard or just these two platoons? That's… well, where's all the darkeyed soldiers?

Kaladin is definitely suspecting Azure to be a Radiant, and that's sounding more and more like a possibility, but that name still niggles at the back of my mind; I'm keeping my money on Azure being a Nalthian, even despite the Shardblade. A foreigner, who just happened along by and showed enough military ability and savvy to organize the soldiers and hold the gates? That's fishy.

AND AZURE'S A LADY. EXCELLENT.

Average to just-under-average height for an Alethi woman. That's still hella tall for just about anyone else. Orange eyes though? That's odd – we've seen shades of yellow all over, but orange… I don't think so. And a basket-hilted sword of all things – screw whether it's the Shardblade or not, is it a saber, a rapier?

Her soldiers still love her, no matter how much of Vorin society would be outright scandalized (and probably up in arms) over a woman being highmarshal.

If Azure is a worldhopper, she's been here long enough to get a handle on not only Vorin curses, but the political and military situation of the past few years – enough to ping damn close to Kaladin's actual backstory, which he now realizes was an active effort on Sadeas and Amaram's part (nothing personal, and there are bound to be many more who were affected in much the same way he was in those border skirmishes). That leans the possibility a little more towards native-Rosharan, but still doesn't discount other possibilities.

Azure makes a hell of a plea to one's honor and common sensibility.

Oh Kaladin. They have; the Parshmen that you so hoped would survive have been pulled into what you never wanted for them.

Chapter Seventy-One – A Sign of Humanity

ANOTHER FLASHBACK ANOTHER FLASHB-

And it's set very, very soon after the last flashback chapter we got – not immediately as the timeline goes, but probably only a few weeks, maybe even as much as a month.

Evi is crying and once again I feel the great need to punch Dalinar. YOU SHOULD BE FEELING CRUSHED, YOU COMPLETE ASS. Look at what your argument did! Look at how heartbroken and withdrawn she's become, trying even harder yet even more painfully than before!

Dalinar is so detached that he can hardly believe that their argument 'bodes ill for their relationship', he can't even tell how bad it's already become when his wife breaks down in front of him! When he doesn't even go to see his own son, much less care about him! Ugh.

At least he's going to talk to her, and is cognizant enough to do it in what is essentially what little territory she has in all this army. Not quite a supplicant, but as close as he can get (and without that attitude, of course).

“I like it when you fight.” [winces] Dalinar, Dalinar that is the absolute wrong thing to say. She doesn't want to fight, it hurts her to fight, and you can't see it! Like she said last time, the Alethi take everything as a competition, but you have to remember that she's not, and she doesn't want this. At all.

The way that she describes the times when 'nothingness' flares in his eyes is oddly specific, and that can't be a coincidence. Branderson has something going on here, more than just Dalinar's own self, more than just the Thrill and his addiction to it.

His hand against her safehand. That should be a sign of utmost trust, and yet…

Are… are you actually going to try talking them down first, rather than attacking without giving them a chance to surrender? Also, this is the first time you've noted it, but even you feel like the 'hunger' of the Thrill is something external (but it still feels like it's different for you, more focused than it is for others)

You can't blame the Rifters for not trusting him. His reputation alone would merit such, not even counting what he did to them personally. But, Dalinar is trying to negotiate. Amazing.

Ooof. Tanalan really didn't understand what the rebellion could mean for his people and city.

A duel. This, despite the indifference/contempt he holds for dueling. But the Thrill – or whatever it is (something definitely focused on him specifically) does not want that to happen. ….this does not bode well.

Despite how good Tanalan's plan sounds, there is definitely something wrong here, some underlying current that says 'I have a bad feeling about this…' even beyond the fact that we already know that something terrible happened at the Rift.

I'm not sure Sadeas is the 'traitor' like they say. Despite the fact that he was a conniving, slimy Pus of Man that got an all-too-justified death, he was dedicated to the power of Alethkar. Whether at this point he believed that rested with Gavilar or with Tanalan's Rebellion, I'm actually putting my spheres on him being on Gavilar's side. Perhaps he's spurring this on, but Gavilar does want an example made, and it could very well further some secret plans of his that we don't know about.

This whole thing reeks of about to go to absolute shit

Chapter Seventy-Two – Rockfall

Another Stoneward recording, and an explanation for why none of the Edgedancers have recorded any of these gemstones (they're out actually Getting Shit Done). And apparently Urithiru once had a dedicated population of non-Radiants – servants and farmers and the like – which again makes sense since the tower needed to be self-sufficient.

A Shallan-Veil chapter this time, and they're on a mission. To an elaborate mansion, apparently – one that's still occupied. You have to admit, those former-waterfalls do sound like amazing sights, no matter how frivolous (and expensive) they were to create.

“Veil took a deep breath, then let Shallan bleed back into existence.” I don't like the wording of that. I really don't like the wording of that. Veil 'let'? 'Bleed back into existence?' Both the tone of authority in the first and the visceral nature of the second – as well as the implication that Shallan didn't exist while the Veil-personality is in control – are worrying.

In relation to the above: “...she was an inferior version, obviously. Just deal with her, take her place. It would feel right, wouldn't it?” D u d e. I'm not sure if some outside force is affecting Shallan (very possibly the Unmade in the palace), but that is beyond anything she's felt or thought before, and it's disturbing, especially if she unconsciously has Veil (and to a lesser degree, Radiant) start applying it to herself. It's good that she felt how wrong it was immediately and cut it off at the start.

Huh. Pulled into crisis here, she reverts to her true, core self.

DUDE. WHAT- WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE EVERSTORMING FUCK

SHALLAN

SHALLAN

...are. are you oka- that's not okay. That. That is not okay in any way shape or form you still have the bolt sticking out of your h e a d

(also, she deliberately shifted back to Veil just then, but absently noted that Veil was also an illusion)

So. Uh. How… how unkillable are Radiants with a decent supply of Stormlight, exactly? And what on Roshar is going to necessitate Plate on top of healing like that?

“You worry me sometimes.” Vathah, you don't even know the half of it.

Wit, please

Well, that's one way of making a scene, as well as not-so-subtly letting the Cult know that you have food, real food.

[sighs in frustration and continued worry about Shallan's separation of self. yet again.]

Chapter Seventy-Three – Telling Which Stories

A Lightweaver asking a serious question at the start of this chapter, which of course lead to more questions – first among them being: what protections did the tower have, and can they be reactivated?

YESGOOD ANOTHER KALADIN CHAPTER

I really love Beard and his obviously-fake stories. “You did not meet the Blackthorn.” Kaladin, standing right next to this guy: [somehow manages to keep a completely straight face]

Oh, and now you have to stab my heart again by mentioning Sah and the group of Parshmen you wanted to help save. Thanks bunches, Brandosando.

ADOLIN THE 'ROOSTING CHICKEN' I'M WH E E Z I N G

Shallan even made his and Drehy's illusions opposite heights or something like that this time omg (unless Drehy's taller now because Adolin's lounging but I like to think the former, because even the though of it is hilarious) Or does he mean that Drehy's several inches taller than he normally is. Either way-

Beard going on about 'the time he met the Blackthorn' when Adolin Kholin is right there and he's shit-talking his coat this is ama z i n g

Kaladin learning about the interactions of the low-ranked lighteyes though – I feel like just a few more steps, and he'll adopt these too. Knowing how they act and how they feel about the higher ranks, he can use that when he eventually gets to Social Revolution once Odium's dealt with, right?

This whole “fellow lighteyes” routine is hilarious and terribly embarrassing at the same time

Kaladin wanting to stand up for Adolin, be still my heart

Ahhh, so it's the Wall Guard that's supplying (all?) the food to the city with whatever their mysterious ways of obtaining it are that don't use Soulcasters?

Oh, great, at least some of the Cult practice self-flagellation in order to draw the altered painspren. Well that's lovely.

'Rock would have laughed [the beard] to shame and euthanized it with a razor and some soap.' HAH, now there's an image! Rock taking one look and carting off this airsick dolt for a trim and a lecture on proper Beard Maintenance.

!!! Now there's an interesting idea – I thought all the Honorblades save Jezrien's were in the keeping of the Shin, but maybe not…? Still, I thought the hilts of the honorblades were all way more elaborate than that, and no basket-hilts.

Kaladin always worries too much, it's who he is. That tidbit about the 'whispering voices' doesn't sound good, though; could be the Unmade, could be something to do with the Fused and Voidspren outside.

Bless Sanderson again, this time for continuing to write a good, believable agnostic in Kaladin

WHOOP, ACCIDENTALLY TAKING COMMAND. And by serious force of will managing not no keep it or shout out orders again.

“Keep your head, and I suspect you'll end up as a squadleader before long.” Help me I'm d y i ng

Chapter Seventy-Four – Swiftspren

Shallan is really cultivating her 'disturbance' as a Robin Hood-like figure to the point where they've given her a name, even a bit of a legend! It's a good one to have, in all, even when not considering that she needs it to get into the Cult. And since the Cult revere spren, being called as such gives them even more reason to notice her.

Ooof, correcting even Pattern when he doesn't refer to her as Veil when she has the illusion and personality up? That's… Shallan, dear, that's not a good sign. Listen to your spren, your soulbonded partner – remember the Truth of yourself.

Okay, that Swiftspren costume sounds really cool.

Ooooo, shit, those whispers are actually whispers, inaudible. The Unmade? Or even the echoes of Odium? Either way, it's not nothing, and certainly not benevolent.

“Was her mind so quickly corrupted?” ...an interesting question. On one side, the multiple personalities seem to make it easier to slide from one mask to another, even if there's 'only' the three, disregarding temporary ones. On the other, you use the word 'corruption' here, and I'm led to think of the 'corrupted spren', and of the people at the palace, so it could also likely be an effect of the Unmade that spreads its miasma over the city.

Ohhhh, and she's been Shallan ever since the voice whispered to her.

I wonder if that feeling of '[feigning] humanity' is how she feels about her branching personalities – if they feel like imitiations, or skin-puppets of what she wants to be, as opposed to distinct forces of their own in her head. (I don't know; I'm no therapist- This, Shallan, is obviously why Sanderson needed to consult heavily with specialists while he was writing, because this is… ooof. Shallan, I worry so much for you.)

'And Shallan… what did Shallan want again? Did it matter? Why bother worrying about her' SHALLAN, I AM WORRIED. VERY, VERY WORRIED.

And then we get this distinction of Veil '[layering] an illusion of Shallan and her havah over top of her trousers and shirt'. Not letting go of the illusion, but layering. Fuuuuuuuck….. Again, I'm sounding like a broken record but Shallan. Dear. This is not healthy.

And here's another one I worry over. Elhokar, it's… as much progress as you're making, this whole 'sitting alone drinking in the dark' doesn't bode well for you either.

Cultural Note: “[W]ishing and expecting is of the Passions. A heresy. A good Vorin worries about transforming themselves.”

...it's been a while since you drew someone Transformatively. And Elhokar… he needed this.

(he saw Cryptics in the mirror and lurking in shadows back on the Shattered Plains. maybe, with a little bit of help, he'll start shining garnet too…?)

[fireandseaweed]

Man Buns, Hipster Glasses and Tweed || Annabeth and Percy

Annabeth and Percy indulge in some activism before the raid on the Open Hearth. 

Percy looked out across the sea of mostly familiar faces. He had been the one who had brought Alex and Hailey Pritchard to Camp Half Blood with Annabeth after empousai had killed their satyr protector. He had been the one to convince Will Solace to go to medical school here. This place held the best memories of his life and he wasn’t about to give it up. But possibly the best thing was that he wasn’t in charge of any of it. For the first time in a long time he was just part of the team. As he held up a cardboard sign that read a very quippy line about Greek Pride, he couldn’t help but beam with pride. Activism was something that he’d always been interested in, but now he was actually working towards a goal that actually mattered. “Blossom has done a good job with this,” he said as he slipped his fingers in between Annabeth’s and held her hand, pressing a kiss to her cheek as they all waited for the march to begin, “I know the situation is far from ideal, but at least we made it here, at least we are doing something and we can show everyone that this is a serious movement. We are here to stay.” There was so much more that he was there for, he was here to protect the family he didn’t have yet. He was here because New Rome was his home and had been for several years now.

At first, Annabeth hadn’t hesitated when she’d heard of the march exhibiting Greek Pride. It didn’t seem a question as to whether or not she would be one to stand up for herself and her fellow Greeks. But later thought had gotten her thinking that perhaps they were only instigating things further. Were they only widening the divide by doing this? Doing more harm than good? But the she’d caught sight of Percy’s smile and known they were right to march. If they didn’t stand up and say that they were here to stay, things would most certainly become worse.  The Romans would most likely think the Greeks were perfectly alright with being rolled over, and having their places of business vandalized. “I think we’ve got a regular Susan B. Anthony on our hands. The B obviously stands for Blossom.” So here she was with an equally snappy sign and a smile as Percy placed a kiss on her cheek with the warmth of his hand in her’s. She had used her full array of colored markers and favorite ruler to make sure their signs looked impeccable. “We are here to stay.” She couldn’t help but think of the implication of the words, the notion that it could include her and Percy leading a life here in New Rome for many years to come...together. “I have to say, Percy. Activism is a decent look for you.” She was quite proud of the showing up they had done today.

Smirking gently, Percy had to admit that this was a lot more fun than he had thought that it would be. Blossom’s idea was brilliant really, by raising money for the Senate House they demonstrated that they were not only dedicated to the regeneration of New Rome, but that they were also more than willing to do what was necessary to secure their place in the city. He just hoped that the Romans and the Greeks would be able to work together. They had gone through so much in the last couple of years and he couldn’t imagine what they would do if they were lose all of that now. “Of course we are,” he replied with a smile. As the march set off, Percy followed the current of people that was winding its way away from the forum and towards the eastern district. Percy knew the way well, their apartment was in the eastern district. It was cheaper, mainly because it was an area populated by students and greek members of the community. He loved it here. “I think that you look much better as an activist,” he replied with a bright laugh and a gentle smile, brushing his hair out of his eyes, his smile slid into a smirk. “You just need some cute nerdy glasses, little round turtle shell rimmed ones, and then we’d have a perfect little prissy activist. But let’s not mention the years of military training.”

There was no one Annabeth smiled as much around as she did with Percy. Already he had garnered many a grin from her with his dorky jokes and flirty lines, and his latest one was no exception as a chuckle fell from her lips. “Cute nerdy glasses? Are you saying I could use improvement?” She narrowed her eyes at him, as if challenging him to say yes. The word prissy wasn’t particularly offensive to her as he said. “If you’re using prissy as another word for knowing what you want and being able to take it. Then I accept this.” If prissy was the word that came to mind when he was speaking of a badass girl who fought for her right to stay, she would take it gladly. “What? Is this some new sexual fantasy of your’s? A prissy activist?” She gave him a once over, as if judging his get-up. “And what about you? I can’t be the only one needing a makeover. Where are you thick-rimmed oversized glasses? You’re locally sourced tweed trousers? Not to mention your man-bun.” She tutted her tongue at him. “And you call yourself an activist.”

Raising an eyebrow gently at her reply Percy couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his face in reply to Annabeth’s comments, he knew that she was joking and that was what made their relationship so perfect. But her laugh was so beautiful that he couldn’t ignore it at a moment like this. “Everyone could use a little bit of improvement, but for you, it is only that you don’t quite have perfect eyesight…” he trailed off for a second before relenting, “I’m joking.” He gave her a warm smile and shrugged. “Well, I’m a very sexually liberated man, I may not have the locally sourced tweed and I may be missing a septum piercing and several anarchist tattoos, and I’ve not read the communist manifesto, but I like to think that I am at least allowed to want to see you in nothing but reading glasses and pigtails…” he gave her another signature lopsided smile. He must have given it to her a hundred times today, but he couldn’t help it. The march was winding it’s way through New Rome and Percy was thoroughly enjoying himself. “Although, I’ll admit that I am enjoying activism, I think it looks good on us.”

Annabeth rolled her eyes at her boyfriend, which was probably the second most popular reaction he drew from her after smiling, of course— though sometimes they went hand in hand as they were doing now. “I know you’re joking Seaweed Brain,” she paused to raise her sign higher over her head. “I have perfect eyesight. Just like I have perfect everything.” Percy was the one person she would say most anything around, and still feel comfortable. There was rarely a time when she had to think twice about her words when around him. Such was a by-product of knowing one another for so long...as well as being extremely comfortably in love. “Reading glasses and pigtails?” She raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him. “Well maybe if you play your cards right…” her words and tone trailed off suggestively. As they rounded another bend of the streets of New Rome, there came a show of anti-protestors, holding signs that were calling for Greeks to either learn their place or go home and other similar messages. Pursing her lips, she turned away from the offensive signs, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing the bubbling irritation in her stormy gray eyes. “I don’t understand what threat they think we are or whatever,” she said under her breath to Percy.

Percy smirked gently as Annabeth said that she had perfect everything, it wasn’t that it was funny it was just that it was true. “Well I’ve seen you naked well practically on a daily basis at this point so I can more than agree that you have perfect everything,” he said with a bright laugh as he kept marching, “that is why I am so very lucky to have you.” He shifted his sign so that the front was facing the back and the back was facing the front and went back to marching as he did his very best not to think about what Annabeth had been suggesting. That would have to wait till later tonight. The march for the first time hit protests against it and Percy found himself wondering the exact same thing as Annabeth. “I can’t say that I particularly understand it if I’m honest with you. All the money that we are raising is to help them so why do they want us out so badly?” It was a hard feeling, being rejected by the one place that you wanted to accept you. He had struggled with friends growing up but nothing on this scale, it felt like a whole community was against them.

Annabeth laughed along with Percy for another moment before shifting her sign to get a better grip on it. Part of her was wondering what they’d be doing with the signs once the march was completed. If they were to throw them away, she wasn’t entirely sure how easily she’d part with them. Even though they were a much simpler project, they were a project nonetheless. Though Annabeth was generally notoriously organized...that didn’t mean she didn’t have a slight hoarding problem. “You’re right about you being lucky.” Percy would know she was teasing...even if her rather healthy ego saw some truth in her words. Suddenly being rejected by the Romans also had Annabeth somewhat anxious in addition to being annoyed. Though it seemed a rather impossible though, if the Romans did somehow get rid of the Greeks as they seemed to wish to do...where would she and Percy go? She knew they’d be welcomed back to Camp Half-Blood to an extent, but what about as they continued to age? New Rome was the only place demigods could actually lead entirely safe lives. “Exactly! And who knows how much longer the fire might have gone on if the Greeks hadn’t been there to help. The Romans did a lot of work but- it would have taken them even longer to douse the flames if we hadn’t been there.”

Shrugging gently to her, Percy wondered how much luck he had had when he’d been trying to save the world every other month. “I’ve always been lucky I guess,” he replied, “especially since you’re still here, my luck obviously hasn’t run out yet.” The whole problem was a lack of understanding a general ignorance that made him worry. What would they do if what they feared came to pass, their were humanitarian laws to stop mortals from doing things like this but who would police the demigod community if something were to happen. So far the Gods hadn’t gotten involved and Percy expected that they wouldn’t want any part in this. “They don’t seem to realise that we are here to help them out, they just all seem so afraid that we have a hidden motive and agenda.” He bit his lip and sighed as they approached the Open Hearth. “We have to prove them wrong.”

“Stop that,” Annabeth told Percy as he continued to agree with her, shoving him lightly though her smile persisted. “I might start to think you like me.” As they continued to march, they passed the rather impressive and splendid skyline of New Rome. Camp Half-Blood had been the first place she had felt most comfortable to call home, and was most certainly where her heart would always lie— apart from with Percy, but New Rome had also become her home. It wasn’t simply her newest home being placed into jeopardy, but their future as well. And if the Romans thought they could take such a thing from her and her friends, they were sorely mistaken. “We will prove them wrong. We’ve got nothing to hide. And we know that Reyna and Frank don’t want the Greeks gone, so no matter what happens we have the support of the praetors.” Though the discovery of the Greek Fire as the start of the Senate House fire had been rather unfortunate. But there was also a part of Annabeth that wondered if it had even been Greek Fire that was responsible. She wouldn’t put it past the Romans to try and frame the Greeks by ‘claiming’ that a notoriously greek weapon had been the cause of it. Who was to say the fire hadn’t actually been an accident, and the Romans were taking advantage of said accident?

“Oh don’t worry wise girl,” Percy replied with a bright smirk crossing his face, “I don’t just like you, I think that it is pretty obvious that it is much much more than that…” he thought back to their conversation about kids. This was the best place for them to raise kids and that was all being put in jeopardy. “That does make me feel better, and we’ve got Jason too, he has some swing left in him, at least I hope so…” he trailed off and rubbed his eyes. He was almost always tired, but with everything going on it was more difficult than ever for him to get to sleep. “I don’t know why there are so many of them that can’t stand us, we’ve only ever attacked the city once and that was a dumb accident, it wasn’t Leo’s fault he was possessed….” he trailed off once more and sighed sadly, wishing that there was more that he could do to change the situation that they were in. As he reached the steps up to the Open Hearth he was received by more Greeks and college students who clapped him on his shoulder and greeted him and Annabeth warmly. These were his people and he wanted to protect them but part of him wondered if he was ever going to be able to do it. Was this a task that was too big?

“Gross,” Annabeth joked once more, though the smile in her eyes spoke to how she was truly pleased by his words. Of course she knew that Percy loved her, but that didn’t mean she got tired of hearing it. His mention of Jason had her uncertain though. Obviously, she loved Jason dearly— him being the closest thing she had to a brother, but she couldn’t help but remember how the dead Roman soldiers had refused to listen to him all those years ago in the Necromanteion. If they had already begun to question Jason that time ago...who was to say live Roman soldiers wouldn’t start to do so as well? But she shouldn’t be thinking of this right now. Today was a time for fun and pride, and she tried to shake off the heavier conversation for the moment, though her mind continued to whirl around the subject. “Speaking of Leo. How many drinks do you think it’ll be before he accidentally lights something on fire at the Open Hearth?”

The entire situation put Percy on edge, he couldn’t believe that things had gotten as bad as they had already and he hated seeing it get any worse. That was why he was fighting for this, he was doing absolutely everything in his power to make things right and part of him worried that it still wasn’t enough. “Very gross.” He couldn’t help agree with Annabeth, he really did agree with her, he wasn’t that whipped yet. “Somewhere between four and five, there are a high number of children of Ares who signed up for the first and second cohort who are attending and they seem to have been very proud to be Greek, so it won’t be long before they’re trying to make balistai out of a chair leg or something stupid like that.” He shrugged. “I’ve got a few buckets of ice behind the bar just in case anything needs to be put out.”

Again, Annabeth only grinned in her response to his agreeing with her. “Everyone knows that Poseidon kids have cooties.” She shouted along with the chants that were being led for a moment, letting herself be swept up in the energy of the march for the duration of them. All grouped up like this, chanting for the same thing and pride— she felt as if they were invincible. Truly, there was strength in numbers, as well as strength in having Percy by her side. “Of course there are a high number of Ares attending,” she mumbled under her breath, thinking of Clarisse and how much she would overreact to their current situation. Though she chuckled at Percy’s comment she also went on to say, “I just hope they aren’t successful. The last thing we need is a fight breaking out. It’s not as if the Romans don’t think we’re barbarians already. We hardly need to give them any excuse to think it more. But look at you coming all prepared for anything. I’m starting to wonder if you even need Riptide to automatically return to your pocket with how responsible you’ve become.” Of course, if he lost the sword in battle via disarming it was still incredibly useful, but she couldn’t resist teasing him.

“Ah, I think you’ll find that it is Athenians who have cooties, Poseidon kids have crabs. Don’t worry though, it is an easy mistake to make.” Percy smirked broadly before shrugging and chanting along with everyone else. It was a shame he’d never been able to engage in activism outside of New Rome, he was starting to think that he would’ve really loved it. He couldn’t help but smirk further at her jabs at the children of Ares. “Well, at least they’re willing to stand up and fight for what they believe in, although I’m not sure they wanted to when they found out that a daughter of the goddess of Peace had organised it…” he trailed off and smirked gently, the idea of the children of war and peace getting along was something that he wished Chiron could see. He hoped that their mentor would’ve been proud of them. “Ah, well, I’ve been trying extra hard to grow up actually,” he pointed out with a smirk, “this morning I had diet coke in my lucky charms! Diet.” He was of course joking. Diet coke was gross. It was all about coke zero.

Annabeth couldn’t help the hearty laugh that came from her at Percy’s joke, and she was only reminded once more of how much she loved him as her eyes crinkled in joy. “Thank the gods we use protection. The last thing I want is crabs. I’m perfectly happy with my cooties. At least they’re smart.” She could see the Open Hearth coming in to view, the front of the march already filing into the establishment. It marked the end of the progression, and a part of Annabeth was sad it was over— though she was excited for the celebrations that were sure to come inside the restaurant. “Definitely. That’s one thing Ares kids are useful for. And as if you’d go near anything but Coke Zero. We maybe be getting old Percy...but not that old. Soon enough we might even progress to cereals without marshmallows in them.”

As they reached the Open Hearth and the swarm of Greeks and the occassional Roman began to fan out around the building, everyone looking for drinks and refreshments, Percy couldn’t help himself and quickly found that he was pulling Annabeth into a lopsided hug and press a firm kiss to her cheek. “We made it, and of course we use protection, who doesn’t take a celestial bronze dagger to bed with them? Monsters under the bed is a very real thing….” he laughed after a second of silence and smirked gently. “Ah, you know me too well Annabeth,” he confessed with a bright grin, “I doubt I’d go near anything like that, we can’t all be boring and enjoy cardboard -- I mean cornflakes…”

[silentcrafting]

EVACUATION OF GAY MEN FROM CHECHNYA

an article from a reliable russian mass media

PLEASE REBLOG

They have been convinced they are an inferior sort of people. Russian LGBT-Net about evacuation of gay men from Chechnya

Russian LGBT-Net has opened a shelter in Moscow for Chechen gay men who managed to escape gay genocide in Chechnya. According to the LGBT-Net’s report, 25 people has already left Chechnya Republic, 30 people are about to leave soon and are getting help from the LGBT-Net. The LGBT-Net 24 hour helpline gets around 4-5 calls a day. The Net’s security protocols ensure refugees’ anonymity. The Net hopes they are able to transfer refugees abroad where they can get a refugee status, the Net is reaching out to embassies of several Western countries. Journalist Yelena Kostyuchenko has found out how the evacuation is organized and what those who managed to leave have experienced.

⛔️ WARNING! The following contains description of violence! ⛔️

Volunteer (anonymously):

A boy today- We went to get passports and while we were standing in the line, he showed me his arms - there were visible weird injuries as if the skin was peeling off. It wasn’t a burn or a cut. I’ve never seen something like this, turned out it was injuries from electric current. They put some kind of pegs, switch on 220v- Those parts where the pegs are are affected the most. Now it looks like an eczema rooted in the arm muscle, I don’t even know how to describe-

I told him, “Do you need help?” He said, “No, why? It’s already healing.” And they all [the refugees] are telling this, joking with each other. What they’re saying is impossible to comprehend. Everyone who’s involved in the evacuation, all LGBT-Net employees, all volunteers are going to go through psychological rehabilitation.

Igor Kochetkov, a member of the LGBT-Net council:

I received the first information about what is happening in Chechnya 3 weeks ago. Someone anonymously messaged me on VK [vk.com, the most popular social media in Russia], he had a profile but of course I understand it was not his actual name. The message said, “Rumors say, gays in Chechnya are getting kidnapped and tortured, some are murdered.” I asked where the rumors came from, he said his co-workers told him. I asked him if he could contact me with people who know something. He replied, “Bro, obviously no.” I contacted my co-worker who works with Chechnya, she said she was gonna check the information. After a week it got confirmed. On March, 29th we opened a helpline and started spreading the information on social media. But we didn’t get any calls or e-mails before Novaya Gazeta published the article.

The main problem right now is that people are too scared to contact us. You should understand, LGBT-community in Chechnya and in North Caucasus region in general is absolutely closeted, they are essentially scared and do not trust anyone. But now it is a common threat. The first question they ask is why they should trust us. And we have to convince them. I started going on our VK pages myself: here I am, here is my real name, you can find everything about me and my life on the Internet and if you trust me, I am here to help you. They are used to the thought of being an inferior sort of people, they have been convinced, they believe it. They cannot imagine that anyone cares about them, wants to save their lives.

Yesterday I talked to one of the refugees. He said the most dangerous people for them are their relatives. I was shocked: they still love their relatives and care about them but clearly realize that their relatives are ready to kill them. And they do not judge their families! “It is how it is supposed to be, cannot run from it.” But they can run.

What is happening in Chechnya is regulated by Article 7, Crimes Against Humanity of Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. Widespread, discriminatory, directed at a certain social group, systematic, condoned by authorities- Federal authorities can intervene but they have not done it yet. Crimes against humanity cases are heard at Hague Tribunal, we are researching ways to file a claim. People also will be able to apply to European Court of Human Rights.

Tatiyana Vinnichenko, the head of the LGBT-Net council:

We have 2 types of refugees. The first ones are those who were in the first wave of arrests in February. They were held in cells, tortured, starved, some were redeemed, some were let go with the relatives with the instruction “you know what to do” [in the Caucasus there is a practice of “honor killing” or “shame killing”]. In February they “extradited” those who survived the tortures to their families. A Senator of Chechnya Magomed “Lord” Daudov attended the “extradition”, called them “f*ggots who got caught and admitted it”. Apparently, families cannot kill their children right away as far as I can guess, but those guys were able to escape. Somehow, they got out of the Republic themselves, stayed at their friends here and now they contacted us, realizing they cannot get a job- They are afraid that as soon as they use their documents, their relatives will be informed where they are. Meanwhile, there is a second wave of arrests in Chechnya.

The second part of refugees are those who we are evacuating now. There [in Chechnya] they are hiding everywhere they can, at their friends, at some awful places and asking for help. We ask them to get to the nearest big town and then we buy them tickets to cities in Central Russia. These [refugees] are in a bad state. They just got out of torture chambers. So, the person gets out, his family does not even say anything to him or make a decision yet and he leaves at 7AM with a bag, saying he is going to work and then comes to us.

Until yesterday, I was sure they are just trying to push gay men out of Chechnya. But I am getting confirmations that groups of men are setting out from Chechnya to Moscow to find their relatives who they think are gay. There were cases of violence. What order did they get? To cleanse the Chechen nation from sin?

We cannot accurately count how many people were arrested. We feel like it is around 150-200 people. Everyone says, “I was in the cell with 25 people.” But we cannot add these numbers because it might be the same cell. We don’t make them recognize each other. These men spent 7-10 days in torture chambers and were able to survive, get out and leave Chechnya. The others are still there. We do not know if they are alive.

People are traumatized. There’s a boy who has been staying in our apartment for 3 days. I told him, “We are already applying for your visa!” And he just asked if he could stay here. And I replied, “Of course, you can live here!” so he would not absolutely lose his mind after the electric chair. And suddenly he went, “I’ve never dated men, I just had these contacts in my phone! I love talking to people, I’m a sociable person! I like girls! Do you believe me?” And I told him I did. He kept convincing me he was not gay and we should let him go as if it was interrogation and i was a policeman.

One guy got in the car and suddenly started screaming, “Am I to blame that I’m like this? I’m not to blame! I’m not happy with it either! What am I supposed to do?”

They are being tortured in Argun [a town in Chechnya]. There is a chair with electrodes, people are tied to the chair and get electricuted. And the tortured has to admit, firstly, that he is gay and, secondly, who of his contacts are gay. Obviously, they are going to admit anything there.

The Press Secretary for the President of Russia Dmitry Peskov claims the information about the camps is not confirmed. It sure is not. But then what? Am I lying? Why would I? Why would they? To get their visas? We [LGBT-Net] do not give visas? And all these burnt arms, broken jaws- These people [Chechens] are not going to leave their motherland for no reason, they are very attached to their country, their relatives. Why would any Chechen call himself gay? To move to, let’s say, Germany?

They are really worried that their mother, grandmother, aunt stayed in Chechnya, that their old women will end up in need. And I keep telling them, “Forget everything, we’re buying new phone, new sim-card, don’t call anyone in Chechnya, don’t go on any social media, just wait for your visa and then from there [county they are going to move to] you can contact them if you really want.”

We practically cannot give any psychological help. Only few agree to that and then we do not know how to make it happen. Chechens do not want to talk to women. As well as they do not want to talk to men to not seem weak. But they also do not have any power left.

They are so scared, they do not believe us! Everyone who came through our helpline thought it was a trap to catch them. Every single one told me that. Everyone said, “Thanks God, you’re just a Russian woman! I thought that’s it, it’s over!” And I asked why they came if they thought it was a trap. “I would get killed there anyway.”

Last Saturday we got a signal from Dagestan [a North Caucasus region next to Chechnya]: someone came to the guy and told him to give away gays. If the same starts in Dagestan, we are going to be absolutely exhausted. Also, 2 more guys are coming here from Ingushetia [a North Caucasus region next to Chechnya].