#this is a joke post and also not.
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once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away
#talks#its not about previously disliking vegetables.#I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without.#also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post#that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions
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um, can you play a song with a beat?
#cassandra cain#batgirl#cassie sandsmark#wonder girl#this was born bc i thought “casscass” was a funny ship name and was trying to decide if i thought they would ever actually go out#and what made the most sense to me was#post- the casskon experiment w boys cass experiments with girls by going on a date with cassie#who is superficially similar to kon (lol)#but tbh i dont think it would last (though they would part amicably)#also can i say? i saw ppl making jokes about butch kon re: casskon and now that i actually read it its almost explicity just#cass trying out dating a boy due to her insecurities about being “normal” and then after like 2 issues decides shes not into it#like you dont need to invent a headcanon to square that w lesbian cass??#casskon#casscass#kon el#conner kent#superboy#comic#comics#dc#dc comics#batgirl 2000#2024#<- when i drew it#cassiecass
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The squad of all time has arrived on scene.
#dungeon meshi#mithrun#Cithis Ofri#Pattadol#Fleki#Lycion#Otta#Happy Canary Debut Day! These guys wont really get to be very present until the next season of Dungeon Meshi#But I can still be excited to see them animated!!!#Shout out to Pattadol - I also tend to occupy 'The Punchline' niche of the friendgroup.#The punchline differs from 'The Jester' who willingly absorbs the jokes. The punchline is often unwillingly the joke.#You are either the one no one likes or the well beloved little-sibiling-esque friend. Good luck figuring out which!#Yes it is canon that Otta is into Women. YES she dates younger women and dumps them when they age.#This isn't a fan made bit. It's real.#Dungeon Meshi has no romance but it does have canonically queer characters.#Shipping is fine and all but it is a running theme in the series than *everyone* who expresses romantic interest in someone -#-finds that love unrequited. Just something to be mindful of to measure your expectations of this series!#Ah! In other housekeeping notes; I'm going to *try* and add Alt Text to my dungeon meshi thurday posts going forwards.#I might not be able to do it day of but I will try to get it done within a week.
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ROUND 7: amongst a sea of green, is a glimpse of snow
Bonus: happy end(?)
#tw blood#alnst#alnst till#alnst ivan#alnst luka#ivantill#alien stage#till#ivan#luka#alnst fanart#alien stage fanart#its been 6 months and im not over round 6 sorry#i saw that luka wears white. and r6 ivan wears white. and snow is white#i highly doubt luka will pull a round 5 here but this comic is a what if#also tried to coordinate background colors to cure and blink gone respectively#this lightly references the mizisua snow comic as well!#needed to squeeze some last minute angst in before the disco rave starts#<- update after round 7#BRO#highly doubt luka will pull a round 5 YEAH WELL LUKA PULLED A ROUND 5#THIS IS NOT HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO#I WAS JOKING????#I DIDNT WANT TILL TO DIE#also seeing this post being tagged as alien stage spoilers oh yall are f o u l#ctrlzxoo art
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this random ass guy who’s entire bit is that he can move like this is the only good wesker fan ever
#talking#edit: i changed the caption you guys are so annoying lmfao#i didn’t mean anything by it at all if you think i’m equating being old with bad that’s entirely a you problem.. someone easily 20+ years#older than me is in fact an old ass guy to me sorry i didn’t realize the uses tumblr at age 30-40 community was gonna stroll up on my post#you guys are so sensitive my god#i call one of my closest friends and family members who are all 10-20 years older than me old all the time you guys need to learn not to#take shit so seriously and also don’t lecture me on my joke post
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this is how y'all are picking which gravity falls twin u relate to. anyways i'm mabel
#THIS POST IS A JOKE#also im diagnosed adhd im just making this for the sillies#ik not everyone who relates to them is ND 😓#anyways#gravity falls#pines twins#stan twins#stanford pines#stanley pines#mabel pines#dipper pines
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NOTICE!!! "trans unity" is actually a DOG WHISTLE PHRASE used by people who WANT TRANS PEOPLE TO WORK TOGETHER TO OVERCOME OPPRESSION AND TRANSPHOBIA
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Old Chuuya drawn over that Angel with a Shotgun nightcore version thumbnail
for that one person asking about it muah
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#sab posting#i made it some months ago as a joke bc i couldn't stop thinking about the fact Chuuya grew wings (and a tail)(what) in stormbringer#so yeah#there was also Angel of Darkness Dazai version but it looked so bad i nevee posted it#ig i will have to redo it OR assign him a different Nightcore song thumbnail for the meme#any ideas????
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"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."
This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.
I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.
Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)
His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:
A) a short lived person
B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.
The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.
But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".
So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.
Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.
The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.
Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.
Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!
Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!
On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.
That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.
The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.
And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.
And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.
Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.
Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.
Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!
I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.
Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!
and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi meta#kabru of utaya#laios touden#labru#laios x kabru#dunmeshi#og post#kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo#the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord.#but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful.#whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite.#even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races#he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits#he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations#he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information#my beautiful machiavellian prince <3#it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo.#the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt#he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him#without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.
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They don’t even attempt to assassinate US politicians anymore. You notice that? Not since the anthrax scare back for… who was it, Barack? And even that… pathetic. This new generation has no respect for an honest hitman. I’m not sure this new generation has any honest hitman - you see that shit with Boeing? Sloppy, fucking disgraceful - you kill the whistleblowers before they get halfway to a lawsuit. What kind of fucking amateur is doing faked suicides the night before testimony? Goddamn greenhorns. Back in my day someone tried to shoot Ronald Reagan in broad daylight. There used to be bomb threats to Congress. I took out a few union leaders in the utilities sector myself. Today’s generation? Won’t even threaten to throw a punch - not even over on that - what’s it now, ‘X’? They got no guts. None! And they don’t even have poor impulse control to boot! Too much of that - that panopticon anxiety bullshit. “Oh what if I get a called out post???” People used to send the president letters full of bioweapons. In the mail! Today’s generation? Not a chance. All because of woke.
#ra speaks#personal#JOKING.#this is a joke this is a parody of right wing rants regarding social phenomenon they believe to be oppressed by left leaning politics.#but within the perspective of an old fictional hitman.#this is a joke tangentially referencing my fictional hitmen from a fictional story in which no harm comes to career politicians#obviously but also if this gets me on a list o7#fbi agent in my phone I’m a disabled autistic dyke with zero engineering or chemistry background#my skills are best applied to…idk sabatoging national forest harvest regimes? but I’m not doing that they’re neglected enough as is.#edit: oops this is getting notes o/ hiiiii cia agent reading this post <3 a union leader my dad worked w got fucking assassinated#by Pinkertons and y’all didn’t do shit. I hope you have visions of hell and become a nomadic hermit self flagellating in the woods#edit 2: ooooooh there was a pres debate last night. that’s why people care about my two week old joke hitman post. was wondering why.
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there was a period of time during the early days of Neopets wherein they would redesign an older pet. in order to pick a redesign they'd offer a poll with a few different options, like this:
but during 2001—2004 they would do polls with several completely normal, similar-looking options and then one (1) just completely messed up option that they never acknowledged or explained
my personal favorite was the Gelert one
#neopets#neotag#mynci#kougra#gelert#outdesign posts things#I like the mutant gelert we got but I also kind of unironically wish that messed up design was the mutant#presumably these were joke options but you could vote on them which makes me wonder what they would've done if the gag option won#greatest hits
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au where ford gets over himself when he gets to gravity falls and reaches out to stan sooner
stan thinks ford still doesn’t want him around and is gonna kick him out the moment he doesn’t need his help anymore ahaha. but like also they’re so sillayyyy
(plus a part 2 & part 3)
#ily ford i don’t mean to make u seem like an asshole#i mean u are#i’m making u nicer than u are in canon#but STILL#ahem.#anyway#stan has casual thoughts of death and immediately follows it up with being the most unserious guy in the room#hashtag real#shut up this is actually fucking canon isn’t it. his little Sweet Release of Death speech he gave the twins in that one ep#i mean he wasn’t silly after but he does canonly think this shit SHUT UP#…do i tag any warnings for this#it’s a jokey post but also erm#idfk#tw sui ideation#?????#that seems to be the common tag for it#tw sui joke#yeahg hey tumblr#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#stan twins#gravity falls fanart#my art#rystiart#aghhhhgg#hi#one day i WILL draw something better i swear…….
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Do you guys notice how when Shawn Fain, president of the United Auto Workers union, started planning a general strike, he did it by a) targeting his messaging towards unions with the ability to safely and effectively strike in large numbers, b) laid out a clear, actionable plan for those unions to follow (setting contracts to all expire at the same time, since many unions cannot strike while under contract), c) is using union contracts to set clear, actionable demands that can be met in order to gauge success and provide an end goal, and d) started organizing FOUR YEARS before the proposed strike date to give people the chance to plan accordingly, because it takes a really freaking long time to get tens of millions of people organized?
You notice how he didn't do it by slapping a message on Twitter saying 'hey nobody go to work on Monday, that'll really show 'em'?
#those 'monday is a general strike stay home if you can!!!' posts are SO performative and they really annoy me#like. you MUST know you can't organize a general strike of tens of millions of people by sharing an infographic on twitter. Right?#don't even get me started on the most recent one that was like 'we understand the last strike only gave one day of notice'#'so this time we're giving you two! strike is on tuesday everyone don't forget!'#like GENUINELY was that supposed to be a joke#the linked article also touches on how difficult actual organizing a workplace is which is nice#because they mention previous failed attempts in which organizers basically just handed out leaflets#and assumed the benefits would be obvious. which i think is basically the equivalent of posting an infographic on twitter#which is to say - not effective at all. Organizing is a LOT of work! Running an effective union even more so!#labor rights
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#I made this for a twitter joke but am compelled by honour to also post it here#also it kinda works I am tempted to draw the outfit lmao#birds#birdblr#eastern rosella#Australia#Australian wildlife#parrots#parrot#psittaciformes#bird#steal her look#steal their look#steal his look#memes#fit guides#outfit guide#toe shoes#rainbow#idk if my favourite is the toe thongs the cork hat or the gay shirt#steal her style#style#steal his style#side note yes that is indeed a female Platycercus eximius diemenensis specifically#character design#outfit design
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Huge L for Helio this episode I gotta say. Something about meeting that guy makes people want to go worship a dead lesbian
#YES this is the same joke twice I thought of two funny ways to say it#this post better not break containment it sounds insane out of context#also important to state that Cassandra is of course an enby lesbian we love our non-binary godexx of mystery#fantasy high#fhjy#fantasy high junior year#buddy dawn#kristen applebees#helio#ankarna#fantasy high spoilers#dimension 20
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