#this is a guy with a job in a society with a very negative attitude towards the idea he’s trying to get out there.

[lunerabo]

Been thinking about making this post for a while and only recently figured out a good way to articulate it but I unironically think Gege’s kind of a genius for using what is most definitely censorship of a gay relationship to his advantage in writing whatever was between Gojo and Geto.

I think what a lot of people get wrong in saying things like how this was a perfect setup for a romance and it’s bullshit that he wrote all that just to label them as best buds is the fact that they’re forgetting that in general homosexuality is nowhere near as accepted over there as it is in the west. BL and GL absolutely exist but read any of them and it becomes very clear to you that the general attitude towards it is that it’s seen as a taboo fetish and not a preference. If you have that in mind, it suddenly makes a lot more sense why they’d want to censor it especially in shonen manga (even though you still get boys falling face first into racks large enough to have their own gravitational fields—something Gege’s also notoriously avoidant of, thank goodness). Not saying it’s right or that it’s not problematic, but when you take into account the differences in attitudes across the board, it’s easier to understand.

Gege’s aware of this. If he wasn’t, and was less careful about putting queer characters in the story, jjk would have never seen the light of day. We know he’s not shy about doing that, as proven by the existence of Megumi and Mai, who are both canonically bi/pan, Kirara, a trans woman, Mahito, who is genderless, and Kenjaku and Uraume, who are loosely implied to be nonbinary or genderfluid. The reason he can get away with this is because none of them are the larger-than-life hero holding the gaze of every fucking pair of eyes on the planet even in death. He’s already toeing the line with the aforementioned characters, for the same reason that other progressive authors only ever seem to make background and side characters queer but never the super important ones. Gojo as a character has a lot of fans and is arguably the thing that attracts readers in the first place, so it goes without saying that a less accepting audience would get turned off by the confirmed queerness of their favorite character. It also goes without saying that this would be very likely to cost Gege his job, so confirming anything is too big of a risk to take. All he can realistically do is tiptoe around it and lay out the signs and hope we read them right.

Gojo and Geto were not in a relationship and couldn’t ever have been simply because Gege wasn’t allowed to write that. So what do you do when something in real life is influencing the story like that? Ultimately, you have to find a way to use a roadblock like that to make it fit in seamlessly, and I think he did a really good job of it. Because the fact is actually that it wasn’t a perfect setup for a romance; the feelings were there but the lives they led were not ones that a relationship develops in, especially not after both of them fell off opposite deep ends in the different ways that they did. What it was a perfect setup for was tragedy. He can’t confirm a relationship but clearly he’s allowed to make them pine for each other, so being barred from bringing them together helped to create a tragic so-close-yet-so-far type of situation that fit everything really well, and made it that much more painful to see them ripped apart.

Idk. I’m tired.

[trashyreptilian]

And here I am with one reference sheet done! Only a FUCK-ton more to go haha,,,

Reblogs are appreciated! :3

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Biography (long read):

-General Info-

Full Name: Alfred Thorn Age: 18 Height: 6'0'' ft Gender: Male Sex: Male Species: Human Homeplace: Huntstrail, Michigan (US) Romantic/Sexual Orientation: Greyromantic asexual

-Other Info-

Personality?: Seemingly a nonchalant type of guy, just living his life and avoids attracting attention. Often feeling like he doesn't fit in with society or any kind of community. He's not much for showing strong emotions, not near random people at least. Typical for him to carry around an "I don't care" attitude and crack jokes during bad times, but it also serves as a means of protecting himself. Being well enough taught that showing his vulnerable side to the wrong people, can possibly be used back against him. The calm exterior hides an emotionally struggling artist, who's suffered through past childhood abuse from his own mother. Sometimes that pain rises to the surface, and accidentally shows up through unexpected mood swings or frustrated/defensive outbursts. However, Alfred knows how badly he manages his own negative emotions. This kind of heated temper shows up when heavily provoked or felt like he's backed into a corner. He may seem like a loner, yet in actuality, he's got a few close select people he cares about a lot. And depends on, more than he'd like to admit. But solely because of that, he shows a strong willingness to go far to protect them. Even if it means he might somehow risk his own life in the process. Seen in these instances, his more assertive and bold-self comes out.

Thinks Before Acting?: It's mixed with him, either does or doesn't depending on the situation. Typically, he'll try thinking over his actions and words. Especially when he can sense a bad outcome if he's not careful. Though, he's far from being the most calculated guy.

Positive Traits?: Mellow, modest, imaginative, soft-hearted, protective and audacious.

Negative Traits?: Reserved, insecure, confrontational, defensive, self-destructive and resentful.

Way Of Speaking?: Can talk in two languages, the main one is American English. Has knowledge in speaking Spanish, but it's kinda subpar. Remembers mostly from the lessons he had in school. On the odd occasion only uses it around his closest friend, Simon, who encourages him to improve. His voice is calm and soft, with no particular accent. At times, loves using a mocking or sarcastic tone. (Headcanon voice: https://youtu.be/2rHRztFGOm8?t=1)

Occupation?: Works as a stock clerk at a furniture store. Assists with unpacking delivered items, organizing the stockroom, inspecting inventory and so forth. Also, he takes overnight shifts when possible for extra cash. Of course, the entire job itself is for financial stability. Otherwise, he cares little about it. Had hoped to get into some kind of art career instead, possibly becoming a cartoonist. Sadly, he's never gotten such an opportunity as he grew up. Didn't help that he lacked complete confidence, and still does to this day. So it all remains but a little fantasy he thinks about.

Powers/Skills?: With Alfred being human, don't expect any overpowered abilities like how demons and angels have. However, in his very rare case, having a supernatural being, more precisely a simulacrum, for a parent did unexpectedly help him improve physically, and made him able to defend himself. At a younger age of sixteen, he was gifted his first weapon which was a pistol Glock 19. With help from his father, he trained in remote areas. Shooting useless items that were used as targets. Now, he's well-practiced enough in using it properly, discreetly carrying it when out at nighttime. Of course, not limited to just a pistol. He's also got a metal bat safely tucked away in his bedroom. But for as long as he's known, anything can be a weapon. In a fight, he'll manage some inventive ways to beat someone up. Not exactly a person with a strong-build, yet he makes up for it in endurance. Fairly fast when running, most likely to outrun anyone. The type of guy to pick his fights. Besides all that, survival skills. Learned a few tricks throughout all the times he's gone out camping, moderately skilled living in the wilderness. Particularly good at starting a fire. Maybe a little too good.

Hobbies?: Main hobby is drawing, pretty much remained so since he was a kid. His art style is very stylized, expressive and exaggerated. Taken inspiration from his favorite animated shows and movies. He'll usually use a regular sketchbook with a pencil and pen to draw. But he dabbles in other unique methods like graffiti, and pastel art. A more recent past time is using a camcorder. What he chooses to record is random. Can either be a quick recording of his father’s cat, or footage of activities and ramblings. For whatever reason, he just finds it relaxing. Not to mention, it's his way of better preserving memories besides taking photos. Something else he does to unwind is watching movies and TV series, or playing video games. His favorite genres are horror and thriller. On the lighter side, he loves all stuff that's animated, comedy and adventure fiction. Also, collects merchandise related to his favored media. Considers it a luxury, so he's not gung-ho about it. While these are things he typically does alone. Camping and exploring abandoned places, are done together with his dad. Since they can't hang out together in broad daylight, they always go out during the night. Their activities start regularly, but sometimes end in some sort of chaos when they get overboard. With property ending up mysteriously ruined. Just a not so subtle clue into what exactly happens on their trips.

Habits?: Often smokes and drinks. The first one is easier for him to keep controlled, the other one is an addiction. Possibly inherited from his mother's side of the family. He's aware of that, yet doesn't seem to grasp how poorly it could affect him in the future. Both substances are used when stressed or annoyed, but gravitates towards the alcohol mostly. An insomniac, his sleep schedule has been, and still is, irregular. Tends to be active out of nowhere during later hours, and taking overnight shifts doesn't help him. All coupled together, it's easy to imagine his self-care is kinda non-existent. Not to say he's lacking in it, it's out of sheer tiredness and apathy. Irritability is a rather serious tendency due to trauma, and a main fueling reason for the reliance on bad tendencies. It only worsens when experiencing a chain of obstacles, no matter if minor or severe. There's no clear pattern as he can seem fine in the moment, yet takes but one nudge to tip him off the edge. Resulting in sudden outbursts, causing to shut himself off from others.

Relationships? (Simplified): Alfred's dad has remained an integral part of his life. Who in fact, happens to be a simulacrum from Hell, named Him. It's been the only figure he's ever looked up to and known as family. Same demon was originally supposed to replace his actual biological father. In a rather malicious, literal sense. That never happened, as the target left his family behind during the early years of Alfred's childhood before anything transpired. Then living with an abusive mother got him in a worse vulnerable state. So getting attached to something inhuman, but caring, shouldn't be surprising. Their steady bond continued while no one else had a clue on any of it. Entering his young teenage years, Alfred was unphased about his own father figure not being exactly human, once Him revealed so. Despite the few times he had to see or hear it lashing out onto other members of its own species, he never seemed disturbed by its more violent actions. Him's raw wrathful nature is no secret, for sure. He looks past as it being over-protective since so far, he's only seen it attack out of defense for the both of them. Many times he has wished to be as reliable, strength-wise. Since Him's the only father, best friend, and role-model he's ever had, he holds it up in high regard. Alfred would go to Hell and back for it. But the relationship is far from perfect, both struggle a lot with communication. Opening up emotionally is hard especially. For Him, it's worse. As they say: like father, like son. They stay silent about their relationship, for safety's sake and to avoid unwanted attention. Nowadays, they live together in a little run-down apartment. Finally secure, in a place they can call home.

Interacting with a simulacrum for nearly his whole childhood didn't make Alfred the most extroverted person. After frequently having trouble socializing, he gave up trying to befriend people his age. At some point, he simply preferred hanging about on his own. However, one person managed to start a friendship with him, Simon Belrose. A new student that had joined the same high-school, and class, as Alfred. They were both young teens, around the same age, when they first met. His outgoing and amicable personality had Alfred spooked, he reasonably assumed that he'd be left alone by him. Having not much thought about the new guy, becoming friends with him was even less on his mind. Up until they both had an interaction, in which Simon had shown genuine interest in his art. While the compliments were validating for Alfred, he was wary of the other anyway. Took a bit to get acquainted properly. Over the years, they've grown a lot closer as friends. But Alfred still remains secretive on a lot of stuff happening in his personal life. Usually for understandable reasons, yet Simon would appreciate it if they were more open with one another. Nonetheless, they get along pretty great. Both admire certain qualities the other has, that of which they don't themselves. They enjoy pissing each other off until someone breaks first. Random screaming matches over absolutely nothing happen frequently. And their silly scuffles always get hectic.

Moving back onto otherworldly beings. Due to Alfred's long bond with a simulacrum, a certain figure grew interested in finding out more about the two. One way or the other. After a major event, involved with a rather unpleasant (putting it lightly) "person". A series of unusual circumstances followed suit for Alfred. Which all led to meeting a theraangel, called Xanthan. When their first proper interaction happened, there was nerve-wracking tension. He wasn't sure what to make of them, or what the angel's true intentions were. Heavy convincing was needed to earn Alfred's trust. To his own surprise, a mutual respect developed as they bonded over certain grievances each had. Later on a different date, Xanthan becomes his guardian angel. Part of a deal made with his father, Him. Solely due to this guardianship, they find more things in common. Eventually gaining a deeper understanding of each other. Their shared connection with art helps them be more open and start an eventual friendship. Alfred slowly views them as a sort of mentor. Maybe even as another father figure. Seeing how he appreciated Xanthan's longer living experience, once he felt comfortable he'd seek out advice from Xan alone on the rare occasion. Very few people manage to break down all the high sturdy walls that angel puts up, Alfred managed to be one of those people. He proved to be pretty insistent in making that guy a close part of his life.

Speaking of enemies, there's no one in particular who really fits in with this definition for Alfred. Besides perhaps some bitter students from his high-school that he got into fights with, or his mother and sister he has distanced himself away from. Still none of them fit such a defining strong label as "enemy". As he just wants to forget about these people entirely. Yet, that doesn't mean he won't make adversaries in the future.

================================================

General rules for all of my FCs and OCs:

-While I'm fine with getting inspired by my work, please do not just steal the designs. -I am uncomfortable with my characters being unknowingly shipped with other people's characters. -Fanart is all well, great and welcomed! As long as it isn't sexual. I'm fine with gore but please, keep my characters away from your own sexual material.

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Love in the Big City Part 3 - Notes from a Reader (2)

Note 2: Enter Kylie

In part 3 of Love in the Big City Young finally introduces us to a character who, up until this point, we weren't aware had been present since the very first sentence: Kylie.

Kylie has been with Young since his military service, Kylie was with Young throughout his university years with Jae Hee, throughout his mothers 2 bouts of illness, throughout his relationship with Hyung, for five full years of his life.

And yet it is only now, in Part 3, that Young speaks her name.

And my question is why now?

Note 2.25: Perceptions of HIV in Korean Society

I touched briefly on the stigma and misinformation surrounding HIV in Korean society in this post here but I cannot stress enough how deep rooted those beliefs are:

"According to the 2015 national survey conducted by the Korea Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (KCDC) regarding HIV/AIDS-related knowledge, attitudes, and beliefs, the words most frequently associated with AIDS include “incurable disease” and “death” (25.3%), followed by “fear,” “horror,” and “danger” (11.5%)."

("Factors Influencing Young Korean Men’s Knowledge and Stigmatizing Attitudes about HIV Infection", Shim and Kim)

People living with HIV in Korean society face being tested for HIV without their consent (most Korean companies require their employees undergo annual health screenings), their medical information being shared without their knowledge (the illegality of the data breach is not always a barrier), medical professionals refusing to perform procedures, losing their jobs or being denied job opportunities, and being cut off from their family and friends should they choose to disclose their diagnosis due to poor understanding of what HIV is and how it is transmitted.

In addition to the social stigma, it's also important to understand that many people living with HIV in Korea struggle with poor self-perception and internalised stigma. A study conducted in 2017 found that:

"75% of all respondents felt self-blame due to their HIV status at least once in the past 12 months. 64.4% stated having feelings of guilt, and 59.6% reported having low self-esteem. 26.9 % also agreed with the statement “I had the feeling I should be punished”. [...] Only 13.5% stated that they experienced no negative feelings in connection with their HIV status in the past 12 months."

("Unknown Lives: Initial Findings from the People Living with HIV Stigma Index in South Korea 2016-2017")

Surrounded by so much stigma and misinformation as they are, it is unsurprising that disclosure rates amongst Koreans are lower than in many other countries ("Predictors Associated With HIV Status Non-Disclosure in Korea", Kim and Woo) and that many chose not to share their diagnosis with any one but especially those closest to them (and especially ).

Note 2.5: Young and Kylie

Young's experience with Kylie closely maps on to the experiences of Korean PLHIV (People Living with HIV) discussed above.

Firstly, he is diagnosed with Kylie after being tested for it without his consent (p. 135) and lives with the fear of a repeat scenario, especially in relation to how such an infringement on his person would affect his ability to get a job (pp. 163-164 and again p. 176). In addition to this, he is exposed first hand (and quite possibly partook in prior to his own diagnosis) the social stigma that accompanies a known HIV diagnosis:

"When I drank with them, some guy rumoured to be poz passed by, our resident clown Eun-Jung would say, 'Everyone cover your glasses,' and we'd all burst out laughing." (p. 157)

(On a side note, in a study I can frustratingly no longer find it was observed that HIV stigma was not much lower amongst the queer community in Korea than it was in any other cross section of society and this passage feels like a nod to how the lack of easily accessible information and long held misinformation has effectively barred queer Koreans with HIV from finding support amongst their own community.)

Finally, as blasé and as care-free as Young tries to sound about his diagnosis, there are definitely signs that he, like so many others, suffers with feelings of guilt, self-blame, and the belief that "[he] should be punished". Kylie is the reason he expects Gyu-Ho to walk away from him as soon as he discloses his diagnosis, Kylie is the reason he tells Gyu-Ho to sleep around in Japan and subsequently accepts things when he believes Gyu-Ho is continuing to do so once back in Korea, "Kylie is [his] burden to bare and [his] alone" (p. 166) even when Gyu-Ho is the one who willingly "potion[s] out [his] pills and water every morning" (p. 178) and obviously has no qualms about helping Young manage his illness.

Kylie is the reason Young lets Gyu-Ho go:

"Kylie.

I had wanted too much. I'd already been given so much in the past three years. When you try to have too much, you're bound to stumble at some point." (p. 176).

Note 2.75: Why Now?

Young's experience with Kylie is the mirror of many Korean PLHIV and this includes his reluctance to disclose his diagnosis to anyone. He doesn't tell his mother, he doesn't tell Hyung, he doesn't tell the T-aras, and he doesn't tell Jae Hee.

It's only natural that he wouldn't tell us, the reader, either.

It's none of our business.

This is his most closely guarded secret, his most vulnerable point, the spectre that looms over his life and threatens to take everything away if he puts a foot wrong or lets slip to the wrong person.

The only person in the story he shares Kylie's existence with (beyond his doctors) is Gyu-Ho and it is because Gyu-Ho knew and stayed and embraced him that we know.

So why now?

Because up until Gyu-Ho, Young probably didn't feel able to talk about Kylie to anyone, in anyway. Gyu-Ho's acceptance of his diagnosis and his refusal to let it scare him away changed that; it created a space in which Kylie could be talked about, not without fear (certainly not) but with the knowledge that he wouldn't be abandoned or judged or rejected, that he would be sympathised with and loved and supported.

"Because whatever it was or wasn't, you were you."

[studentmeyag]

Aggretsuko

Aggretsuko is an anime about a red panda named Retsuko who faces workplace discrimination and uses death metal as an outlet. The anime has a lot to say about gender performance.

Retsuko is very complacent in the workplace because it’s the only way to get by. She eventually becomes friends with two women who work higher up. They teach Retsuko that she can be herself and rage is a small community when they all do karaoke together. These two women are very representative of third wave feminist attitudes. Almost to an extreme which can be seen when they act really upset when Retsuko mentions liking a man that she was set up on a date with. In this way, the show points out that the feminist movement is nuanced and there are extremes to either side. These women also have the luxury of getting to behave however they want when ever they want because they themselves hold power.

In season 2, the character Anai is introduced. He’s the young male new guy in the office. He refuses to tolerate anything remotely negative towards him and gets the luxury of acting like a baby to get his way. He even stands up to the boss without any reparation. His character is particularly frustrating because all the women in this workplace would never be able to act this way. In fact, Retsuko, who has worked in this office for much longer, is still treated like an intern and called “calendar” by her boss. On top of that, its Retsuko’s responsibility to tolerate this behavior that everyone sees as charming because Anai is a man.

Overall, I really enjoyed this anime. I thought Retsuko was a super relatable character and I thought it did a really good job showing how society puts women in a place where they must perform, and this just perpetuates stereotypes about gender because if people is Retsuko do not conform, they will not get anywhere in life.

[samwinchesterism]

lol you guys are all so stupid god bless. "he thinks going to college makes you smarter and better and having an apple pie life is more Worthy and so therefore the chronically homeless scholarship college dropout serial killer who's lived the majority of his life except for two years on the fringes of society is the epitome of the bourgeoisie" is nonsensical enough as is but the funniest part is that he DOESN'T hold any of those attitudes lmao the only problematic (but not even strictly classist) thing is the prison one i will give you that (one offhand comment at age 23) the rest is all just your weird projections with no basis in the text.

sam's entire thing w/ college and the apple pie life has been (1) wanting to be safe after a traumatizing childhood, and (2) textually, subconsciously trying to escape a pre-ordained destiny of evil that he could detect in himself before he even know how to read. literally from episode ONE of the whole sorry affair like you cant even be trying at this point:

DEAN: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?

SAM: No. Not normal. Safe.

it's also evident at multiple points in the show that he never actually fully bought in to the idea of it. very very early on actually:

1.06: DEAN: I really wish things could be different, you know? I wish you could just be….Joe College. SAM: No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in.

also e.g. in s2 and s4 he literally says the opposite of what people think his whole thing is on this post lol

2.02: MR. COOPER. You see, this place, it's a refuge for outcasts. Always has been. For folks that don't fit in nowhere else. But you two? You should go to school. Find a couple of girls. Have two point five kids. Live regular. SAM: Sir? We don't want to go to school. And we don't want regular. We want this.

4.19: SAM. So we didn't have a dog and a white picket fence. So what? Dad did right by us. He taught us how to protect ourselves. Adam deserves the same.

it's explicitly revealed that sam also had very little agency in general, due to supernatural forces pulling at his life. lucifer in 5.22 suggested that even sam's desire to run away from his family was related to his destiny as lucifer's vessel, and more concretely, he was surrounded by "Azazel's gang – watching you since you were a rugrat, jerking you around like a dog on a leash. " to ignore the MASSIVE theme of agency and more importantly lack thereof in sam's life - leading to desperate grabs at agency and making his own choices being a consistent motivation for him throughout all of it - will mean always, always, always spectacularly failing at understanding his character or analyzing it in any meaningful way, leading to whatever the fuck is going on here

there are different points in the story where he's obviously less certain about it (e.g. s8) but the idea that he consistently thinks that the bourgeois upper middle class life is the ideal and everything else is lesser than is something you made up in your heads. it's a deeply personal issue for him that he often wrestles with - safety vs. duty vs. destiny vs family vs. fulfillment etc. it's never indicated meaningfully in the text that sam is concerned with gaining wealth or status or social capital through education or through his other desires for his life

there's also no evidence for what someone said in the tags about him looking down on stealing for money because it's just not true lol like the MOST negative thing he ever said was "It's not the most honest thing in the world, Dean" (1.08) lmao. he was just like maybe we could get jobs for a bit (he literally says "once in a while" lol). "maybe we could get jobs instead of stealing ALL the time, but sometimes is fine" = "classist" is rocks for brains analysis. like it's just very very very dumb. also like it's not necessarily classist to try to avoid stealing from other people when you think you can make a living without doing that. which is what sam's thing was. textually:

5.22: CHUCK. They'd pass the time lining their pockets. Sam used to insist on honest work, but now he hustles pool, like his brother.

in swan song when he asks dean to live a "normal, apple-pie life", it's very clear in the text that he's trying to make sure dean finds some semblance of non-hunting contentment after he dies, so that he doesn't try to bring sam back to life which in sam's mind at the time would re-start the apocalypse like you guys have to keep these things in their proper context lmao you can't just lift random lines of dialogue and be like SEEEEE he's homophobic and classist

in a similar vein him teasing dean about reading or whatever is literally just him being a little shit. there is not a single textual example of him sincerely thinking dean is less intelligent than him because he's not as into the book learning. the funny thing is that the most realistic interpretation is that it's just a reaction from dean making fun of him for being a geek/nerd/etc. lol like oh you're gonna make fun of me for being a nerd well do you even know how to read like lol. because siblings. when push comes to shove he sits dean down and monologues at him about how he is a genius (8.14)

also wanting to go to college doesn't make him a classist. it's not once indicated that he wanted to go to be rich and because higher education makes you better than others like that doesn't even have a nexus to his motivations. he has only ever said he wanted to go to school to go to school, and to do something he wanted with his life while escaping his traumatic and abusive childhood (see AGENCY point above). it's simply not classism unless you decide to filter it through seven layers of pseudo-intellectual fake analysis which doesn't make it right. in 1.08 when he encourages a kid to go to college, note what his reasoning is and feel ashamed for ever saying a bad word about him:

SAM. Well, don't sweat it, because in two years, something great's gonna happen. [...] College. You'll be able to get out of that house and away from your dad.

like TEXTUAL EXAMPLES or shut up which with this group always means shut up because there are never textual examples that aren't divorced so completely from their context as to be meaningless

Please don't fight with each other in the tags.

[dailydnp]

Daniel Howell on Depression and How to Get Through The Night

Daniel Howell is the YouTube star breaking boundaries about depression, who has now released a book to help people with mental health issues.

Daniel Howell is one of the most popular YouTubers out there, with millions of followers and a refreshing line in self-deprecating humour that has made him stood out from much of the braggadocio on that channel. He is also someone who dared to go beyond the jokes and gaming on his channel to reveal his battles with depression to his young audience a few years ago, producing a huge response from people. Now he has written a book about mental health, called ‘You Will Get Through This Night’. A mix of information, advice and laughs, the book is a welcome addition to the elevation of mental health as a national issue, and it manages to be so in a way that is going to connect brilliantly with young people. We grabbed a word with Daniel over Zoom to find out more about it…

When did you decided to write the book and what was the process like?

It was a very serendipitous journey I never planned. All this talking about myself and mental health, and sharing these quite intimate details about my own life, was never the plan. I started my career trying to be funny, just being a clown on the internet, but as time went on two things happened: one, a sense of responsibility creeping up on me where I realised anyone with a platform has an impact on people, and even if you think you’re just being funny, if you do share yourself, people relate to you and you end up resonating with them on some level.

Also just for me, I have always been so career focused, I’m one of those guys that pushes their well being to the back, and after years of me doing that it just got to the point where I couldn’t do it anymore. It was not only affecting my ability to be good at my job, and be friends with people and nice to be around, but creatively it was this real hump where I felt like if I don’t sort my life out, and get on top of these problems that I know are lurking behind me, I’m not going to be able to go forwards.

It was that which led me to talk about my experiences with depression in that YouTube video ‘Daniel and Depression’ that I uploaded in 2017, and that was a huge moment for me. Even five years ago, there was such a taboo around mental health. These days people go, ‘ aren’t we all open about mental health now?’ but just five years ago, it was a completely different world. I thought me bringing up a word like depression would destroy my career. ‘Are people not going to want to work with me? Are my friends going to think I’m strange?’

But I was honestly surprised, for the first time in my life, by the reaction I got from humanity. Because my upbringing led me to being very cynical, to be very defensive and to protect my vulnerability. Actually when I shared something that was so raw, people appreciated it. On some level people were like, wow you articulating it made me understand something I didn’t get about myself, or my mum’s been through this and I finally get it, or now I know what my friends are going through.

When you open yourself up, despite the fear, people appreciate it because this is how people think and feel. We’re all vulnerable, we’re all trying to protect ourselves, we’re all putting on this front, focusing on our careers, pushing everything to the background; but then it’s a truth that when you open up about how you really feel, not only is that a weight lifted for you but it lets other people in.

Then I became the mental health guy. I didn’t ask for it, it became my thing.

The book always had the question of what it might be. People always want to write their life stories, but firstly my entire life story is already out there on the internet, it was there in real time. I thought if I’m going to do this, I want to do a mental health book that just gets straight to the point, it’s not going to be too scientific, it’s not going to be too spiritual or flowery, it’s going to give you the information you need, the tools, the tips, the life hacks, the stuff that science has shown will make a difference, as bare as we can, in bullet point form. And then my job is to make it stupid and funny by using myself as a punching bag doing everything wrong in terms of managing your mental health. For me it’s the book I wish I had five, ten years ago.

Was putting it together enjoyable, once you’d given yourself permission to have fun with it?

Yeah writing a book and collating all these life saving tips on mental health, was good for me. The process of writing the book was like reading it. I needed the experience of putting it together so I could learn from it myself.

What I’ve learnt from just being funny is it’s a bit of an excuse to give yourself therapy. You’ve set yourself the task of telling this story, making this point or joke about something, and in the process of trying to find out whatever this point or joke you’re making, there’s a bit of a moment of self reflection in there.

So it’s fun to have an excuse to tell a story and be funny but for me it’s been emotionally cathartic too.

What are the main things you learned or that even changed you?

One thing was the 360 around your lifestyle. The book is structured practically into 3 parts. The first part is what are things you can do right now to change the way you feel, the second is lifestyle, what changes can you make, and then the third part is looking deeper, at more long term things about readjusting your mindset and working out what makes you as a person.

The process of going through the lifestyle for me felt a bit like a roast. Things like the importance of your social life, the importance of your nutrition, the importance of how often you move, and it was very difficult to be aware of what might just be my personality and preference. I’m an introvert, I’m a bit of a nerd, I like to stay inside, I don’t like to party a lot, and I just learned that if you don’t go jogging you’re going to have more anxiety than someone who doesn’t. It was good to have all that shown up.

A nugget that was quite profound is that you can always change the way that you feel. I was always having days where I was really stressed from what I was working on, or a period where I’d be really depressed, and sometime I would wake up and immediately know I’m not having a good mental health day. When I’m not going to be able to perform, I’m not going to be a very helpful friend. I just used to say to myself ‘this day is a write off’. But what I learned from this book is you can change how you feel by doing something. Your activity directly influences how you feel.

It got rid of the excuses because sometimes it was like, ‘I’m having a bad day I simply cannot do that task’  when you probably can. It’s empowering for yourself to say, ‘Actually if I eat something, if I get a change of scenery, if I talk to someone, if I problem solve to question my thoughts and readjust my mindset, you can change how you think and feel on any day.

With mental health so many people ego through their life thinking it’s this weird mysterious fog that they can’t impact on. Sometimes you feel bad and there’s nothing you can do about it. But actually we’re just weird hairless apes, we’re not that complicated, and there are little things we can do to snap ourselves out of it.

How do you think it’ll fit into the current times?

The idea that this book is coming out when our society is opening up again is almost a divine intervention! There is literally no better time to sort your life out. We’ve all gone through so much, this collective trauma, and the dent to our lifestyles and ability to self-care. Not only have we had all the joy ripped away from us, but people haven’t been able to go to the gym, to get support from friends, and this is a new chapter for everybody.

I’m seeing it as: can take this next step and not fall back into bad habits? This is a good time to put a pole in the ground and move forward in a good direction.

What are the key things you’ll be taking forward?

It’s not just the lifestyle stuff, it’s also about mindset changes. I’m a worrier, one of these people that thinks myself into oblivion. It means I’m analytical but I’m not very present, I spend a lot of time in my head prophesising my own doom. One of the things in the book is realising that you are not your thoughts. If you get a negative thought in your head actually that’s just your brain’s suggestion that you should feel stress about this, that and the other but we don’t have to stay fixated on these worries.

I’ve spent the last ten years in therapy, deeply going into myself asking questions about authenticity, confronting my sexuality, but also it’s been about just day-to-day having a better relationship with my own mind. That when I get these emotions that want to spiral into a panic, or make me feel very stressed, just to talk back to myself with the right attitude and say I don’t need to go down this rabbit hole due to this thought. I can just acknowledge it was an idea my brain had to think about and I can choose to do whatever I want with it. I can choose to solve the problem and break it down, I can ask for help I can give myself a reality check, or I can just acknowledge the thought and say ‘No thank you I’m going to do something else with my day.’

Back to the first depression video – are you aware of the difference between you then and now?

It’s profound, I would say me aged 26 was someone who didn’t question anything. You think you have a career priority and if I have any emotional baggage, it’s just not important right now.

Obviously there was the huge issue of my sexuality which had a huge impact on my mental health. My entire life story from childhood to how I was perceived as a public figure, how I operated day to day, and even my acceptance of a thing that I knew was true deep inside me, I had an incredibly toxic view of that at the time. I needed to understand it. I went to therapy and learned a lot about the way I would talk to myself, the way I would beat myself down and tell myself that things are the way they are and there’s nothing I can do about it. I should tolerate certain situations, and that was all wrong, so I’ve become much better at being fair to myself. Accepting my own vulnerability instead of building up a huge wall; letting it down, being honest with myself which is important if you ever want to change anything for the better. Also you get closer to other people when you feel like they can really see you.

How have conceptions of masculinity affected that?

The whole concept of masculinity was huge in my life. I had a very macho dad, he didn’t emote, he didn’t share anything, it was all jokes and all on the outside. I got to 16, 17, that age when you notice adults for the first time and cotton on to it. I could see the pain he was going through but he didn’t want to confront it. I also went to an all-boys school where there’s no vulnerability, you can’t give a small opening for someone to jab a compass in. That was the culture that shaped me. That continued into my late twenties when I had the moment when I realised being honest with yourself about something going wrong is bravery. It’s not weak to admit vulnerability if it’s going to help you grow. It’s not a sign of weakness to go to the uncomfortable place. Life is a series of uncomfortable obstacles that you put off, but every single time you go over them, you look back and go, ‘oh why did I waste so much time not doing that sooner?’

Is masculinity shifting do you think?

Definitely, roles in society have been so Neanderthal. If you have a personality with a stiff upper lip and it works, good for you, but someone else may feel pressured to hold things in and eventually they’re going to crack. It’s ok to ask for help and to let go of that, that’s what we’re learning in society. Conversations in mental health are so much more normal. There’s a long way to go in terms of judgment and misunderstandings, but I hope the book will spell it out for a lot of people. The book has been fact checked by a psychological professional, Dr Heather Bolton and all of the advice in the book is from evidence based practices that have been shown to have a good effect. It’s not just a nice sounding idea. We all have that friend on Instagram who’s like, ‘Positivity! Yeah here we go!’ And you go, ‘Wow that image had great graphic design it must be true.’ No it isn’t. So we’re in an age of people opening up but there’s also a lot of nonsense on Facebook so when we’re thinking about how we feel and making changes to our lives, we need to trust the experts.

[darrowsrising]

After your post about Mustang and Ephraim I am wondering, what do you feel about Ephraim as a character in general?

Hi! Thank you for the question!

Just wanted to get a tad bit deeper into the previous question: I don't proclaim absolute truth about any Red Rising take - I know that Virginia's pardons are not fair to Ephraim or the victims, I am not absurd, I just think that they are the better option at the end of the day and if I were her I would do the same. Those Golds were vital in liberating Luna, Earth and Mars and that was, at the end of the day, way more important for the living people of the Republic than it was for the dead. I love Virginia, but I am very aware that her decisions or her lack of action, for any reason, affects people negatively too and she's not even aware of the exact impact. That doesn't really make her evil, she pardoned people who helped the Republic at the end of the day, she did not make peace with the Society and when it proved to be a scam - as though it was not obvious from the start, hello, they are fascist slavers - she did not try to cut the Free Legions loose to save face. That in my book is high treason - not entirely evil, but a bitch move nonetheless.

After Dark Age I did a look back on how I perceived Ephraim in Iron Gold, because a lot of my issues with him dialed down a while after he got sober. Guess a proper sort of purpose did him well alongside that.

But to be honest, Ephraim was never my favourite and he will never be. I think he is an interesting character with lots of depth and possibly the most forshadowed death in the series, which adds a lot to the interesting side of things. It's just that...I don't vibe with him I guess.

I also find it fascinating that he changed so much and even found himself living for Volga and wanting to give her a better life and protect her. He used to get by for Trigg, but realised he should live for more. I like him as a character and I respect him. I just...am not that invested in him either, I guess.

I still don't like him much in Iron Gold, but I understand him. His Dark Age arc was well done and he was even confronted about his past deeds and I appreciated what he brought to the table both as an individual and as a perspective.

I found him more of a shithead than the funny guy the fandom says he is - kind of like when Sevro does stupid shit that is not funny in the least, but with Sevro it happens once, maybe twice, per book. Ephraim is a constant shithead and an annoying one at that. There are funny situations in his pov, but he's not a funny person for me. Which is not a bad thing per se, but when he was supposed to be funny it just fell flat for me. He's irritating when he's on drugs, whether zoladone or God's breath.

I appreciated him way more for his actions than for his humour that is for sure.

Also, I sort of detached from him because the forshadowing hit hard and I knew he'll die from IG. It was a matter of when and how that was all.

I understand why he is like he is and everything, he's not my cup of tea, though.

All that being said, despite my complicated relationship with Eph's character, I did my best to answer the previous questions honestly and with not too much bias. Of course you can disagree with me and be against the pardons.

As for the hatred Eph bore Virginia and Darrow...well, fan or not, I just cannot agree or like his attitude. Aside from that, I found that the way he shifts blame, excuses himself and never ever takes action extremely telling - yes, Darrow and Virginia made mistakes that have impacted people they are not even aware of and it's not ok (I think we all did that at some point in our lives), but are they really the root of all evil? How does he know there is nothing to be done to save the new world and make meaningful change except by killing all highColors? Has he even tried something, anything?

I am not trying to shift the blame unto Eph, I am just trying to say that his accusations are exaggerated and his attitude unfounded. Hence why he even stopped alltogether in DA, I believe.

Anyway, hope clears some things out better, because I felt I did not do a good enough job on the previous questions.

Howl on! 🐺🤗

[tvandenneagram]

Joker (2019): Arthur Fleck - Type 9w1

Note: We just watched Joker and we really liked the movie and felt like it was a bit of a character study of Arthur and wanted to do this post, despite doing tv shows mostly. Spoilers ahead.

Arthur is reserved, mild-mannered and passive before his transformation into the Joker. He is seen to be silently suffering with his mental illnesses and with the state of society.

At his best, Arthur is a kind and gentle soul. He is well-mannered and is generally quite friendly to people he meets. Arthur generally tried to maintain an optimistic attitude towards his life, despite the many pitfalls that befell him.

At his worst, Arthur falls into a deep depression and dissociates himself from reality. He has a mental break and cannot distinguish what is real or fake (as seen with his imagined relationship with Sophie).

Arthur was always very repressed and tried not to express his negative emotions or feelings. As a child, his mother called him ‘Happy’ and reinforced with Arthur that he should always try to put on a happy face. We see this quite often in the film. A prominent example is the smile Arthur puts on as he is being scolded at work. He is clearly very upset and angry but tries to hide this from the outside world. 

Arthur always felt like he was insignificant and that nobody noticed or cared about him. He had an extremely bleak childhood and life that he felt nobody cared about. Furthermore, Arthur was failed by the system he was in. We see that Arthur was never really heard by his therapist. He would try to tell her his problems, but she was always just going through the motions and didn’t care to really listen to him. 

Arthur also had no clear identity, which is a hallmark of a deeply unhealthy 9. We see that he never really knew who he was and was often trying to mimic the other people in his life to fit in. For example, we see that he has a forced laugh that he uses when others are laughing but he doesn’t find anything funny. Additionally, Arthur’s fragile sense of identity is further cracked when he finds out that he was lied to by his mother Penny. 

Arthur believes in human decency and kindness at his core. While he became murderous, I believe his true nature was quite gentle. One of the main reasons for his descent into madness is the lack of kindness and civility in his society. Most people Arthur met were generally quite cruel to him and inconsiderate of his mental health issues. Additionally, people were uncaring of him because he was poor and had no societal power. I believe that we can see that Arthur’s true nature was gentle in the fact that he let Gary go because he was the only person he was ever nice to him.

We see Arthur’s transformation into someone who put up with all the awful things that were thrown at him into someone more assertive. At the beginning of the film, we see Arthur being beaten for a sign he was holding and relentlessly made fun of by his coworkers. The first time we see Arthur stand up for himself is when he kills the men on a subway (which is obviously taking things too far). When he begins to kill, he has a sense of excitement brought on by the feeling that people are finally taking notice of him. This is highlighted by his final speech before killing Murray. Arthur believes that he was always a good boy who sat there and took all the horrible things that were thrown at him. He feels as though he was never himself and never expressed his real emotions until becoming the Joker. When he becomes the Joker, Arthur feels a sense of freedom as he is no longer letting the horrible world walk all over him.

I deliberated quite a bit on Arthur’s wings, but settled on a wing 1 because I believe he was a very repressed individual and prior to his mental break had very little aggressive tendencies. I also think that he tried to be a ‘good’ member of society, which is why he put up with so much abuse.

Tri-type: 9w1 - 4w3 - 6w7

Some quotes to describe Arthur’s traits and motivations:

“For my whole life, I didn't know if I even really existed. But I do, and people are starting to notice.”

“You don't listen, do you? I don't think you ever really hear me. You just ask the same questions every week. "How's your job?" "Are you having any negative thoughts?" All I have are negative thoughts.”

“I killed those guys because they were awful. Everybody is awful these days. It's enough to make anyone crazy.”

“Ugh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? If it was me dying on the sidewalk you'd walk right over me! I pass you everyday and you don't notice me! But these guys? Well because Thomas Wayne would cry about them on TV?”

“Have you seen what it's like out there, Murray? Do you ever actually leave the studio? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody's civil anymore. Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy. You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think what it's like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don't. They think that we'll just sit there and take it, like good little boys! That we won't werewolf and go wild!”

“I've got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore. My life is nothing but comedy.”

[vs-redemption]

Hello! Congrats on hitting 300 followers!❤🎉🎉 much more are to come I'm sure of it! I would like to request a hawks x fem!reader where his s/o is taller than hawks but she is just super cute and bubbly, but some people are scared of her because of her hight. Can be scenario or headcanon, what's easier for you.

Thanks for the request dnarez! And thank you so much for the support!

I hope what I wrote is okay! 

If anyone else is interested in sending in a request, the rules are here!

My masterlist is here!

Stand Out 

(Hawks x Tall! Bubbly! Fem! Reader)

It was sometime during you final year in middle school that you’d had your first growth spurt. You’d been so excited after noticing the way your clothes seemed to have shrunk overnight, causing your ankles to stick out awkwardly from the bottom of your pants. A few of the other girls in your class had begun experiencing changes in their bodies as well, so it wasn’t something you were particularly worried about. It was a sign of maturity, as well as an excuse to go shopping!

The excitement slowly turned into concern once you started high school and realized you were taller than almost everyone else in the school, including the upper classmen. It was a little embarrassing being a taller than average girl because you tended to stand out in crowds and attract the stares of the people around you. It made you self-conscious at times, but thankfully most of your peers seemed to get over the height difference once they got to know you. Your sweet, chipper personality helped people feel more at ease around you.

It wasn’t until after you graduated high school and got hired into your first job that you really began to have negative feelings sometimes about your height. You made friends easily enough, but sometimes it started to wear you down when children shied away from you or people openly gawked at you in public. Still, you tried to keep your friendly smile in the hopes that people would feel less intimidated. It was on one of your more stressful days that you first met Hawks.

The weather had just started to warm up and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. You’d decided to use your day off as a chance to visit one of the most popular parks in your city which was hosting a Sakura Festival. The place was unsurprisingly packed with people. You were used to the stares at this point, but you’d also been stopped multiple times already by people feeling the need to make a comment about your height. You knew the attention was harmless, but you just wanted to enjoy your time in the park.

“Hey! What’s the weather like up there?” A middle aged man teases after getting behind you in line with his family at a shaved ice stall. You tilt your head and smile politely. If you had a dollar for every time you heard that question…

“Not bad! But a little on the breezy side.” A voice comes from above you and suddenly a familiar guy with bright red wings drifts out of the sky and lands next to the man. “Thanks for asking!” You instantly recognized the number two hero. You knew he patrolled around your city sometimes, but you’d never seen him this close up.

“Oh!” The man who had teased you seemed to get star struck. His family and the rest of the people around you were all getting excited too. “I was actually talking to the lady in front of us. She’s so tall!”

“And has pretty eyes,” Hawks grins while pulling off his visor and giving you a playful wink. Before you can even process his actions, he looks around the line of people to check out the stall. He looks back at you with a contemplative expression. “You know, I flew past a stall just like this a few minutes ago and it had a lot more flavors. Come on! I’ll show you.”

You had no idea what was happening but you nodded and followed him away. By the time you got to the stall he’d mentioned, you had already forgotten about the teasing man from before. Hawks knew what it was like to stand out and attract unwanted attention too, so he had been able to recognize your frustration right away even though you did your best to hide it most of the time. You felt shy around him for a few brief moments, but that quickly went away as he rambled about patrolling the festival and getting to try all the delicious food. His casual attitude allowed you to feel more comfortable and soon you were laughing and chatting away like old friends as you ate your cup of shaved ice.

What you assumed was going to be a brief encounter with the pro hero ended up turning into quite a bit more. Hawks acted cool and confident most of the time, but he also had to deal with the pressures of being a hero. He faced off against the darker parts of society every day by dealing with villains and taking orders from the higher ups in the hero commission. Something about your bubbly attitude and cute smile provided some respite from his hero duties, and he found himself not wanting to give up your company right away. Before he went back to his patrol, you agreed to his offer to go on a date. One date turned into two, and soon the winged hero was asking you to be his girlfriend.

The difference in height never seemed to be an issue for him. If you ever brought it up, he would just smile and say “what height difference?” before flying up to your level and kissing you once on the nose. He was also very good at diffusing uncomfortable moments when you were out together in public too. Whenever anyone mentioned your height, he would always make you blush by saying that your hair, eyes, or smile stood out the most to him. Sometimes you even forgot that you were taller because he or his feathers were always there to get something down for you before you could even reach for it.

And as great as it was to have someone like Hawks as a boyfriend, he felt equally as lucky to be with you. He always looked forward to seeing you after a hard day of hero work because you would welcome him back with your cheerful smile that erased all the stress every time. He loved to make you laugh by swooping down from the sky for surprise hugs and kisses too. The happiness and support that you and Hawks provided for each other made it so neither of you had to worry about gawkers or unwanted attention, because even if you did still stand out, you stood out together.

[plasticnightmaredoll]

So, this is a drabble I’ve been sitting on for a little while, mostly because I wrote it while in a “mood” and thus it’s kind of personal. However, I do still like it and want to share it.

It does involve Erron Black and Cassie Cage from “Mortal Kombat,” so if you’re familiar with them then kudos, I suppose. If not, then it’s no a big deal. You don’t need to know all about them to understand what’s going on in this drabble. 

I didn’t tag this writing with anything Mortal Kombat related because it’s kind of...bashing BlackCage (Erron Black x Cassie Cage) and doesn’t paint Cassie Cage in the best light. I don’t want the drama and bullshit that could result so I am keeping the MK tags far away from this drabble.

Now, this fic DOES involve Arkham Knight Riddler, so it’s a crossover, and I am 100% ok with tagging him and Scarecrow (Yes, he’s in it, too, sort of). Neither of them are portrayed in a way that would piss people off. 

Now, the fic is very personal to me and technically it’s a self-insert, but I refrained from using my real name or my alias, and has just referred to myself with pronouns. Why? Because I’m kind of shy and weird like that. Plus, it’s super personal and emotional to me, this drabble, and I just don’t feel comfortable directly attaching my name -- or even my alias -- to it right now.

This isn’t on AO3 for the reasons I’ve already mentioned, and I am honestly ok with any feedback on this, be it positive or negative. Seriously, if you have thoughts, then share. If you happen to be a BlackCage fan and/or Cassie Cage then feel free to send me hate -- no anon hate, though, as I have turned off anonymous asks.

I will warn you now, the drabble deals with self-esteem issues, and the ending, if you are familiar with Scarecrow (and if you’re reading this, I sure hope you are), the ending is kind of.....dark. Nothing actually happens but it is heavily implied someone is in for a traumatizing time.

Volunteer

“I don’t know what I did wrong,” she said, sounding as defeated and drained as she looked. “I tried my best yet I still only managed to be in the friend zone. He said it’s not that I’m not good enough, but that he had liked her for a while and she finally said ‘yes’ to going out with him so…”

“What does this girl look like?” Edward asked, displeased with the situation.

“Hang on.”

Edward had to admit he wasn’t shocked by this news. From the start, he knew Erron Black was that type of guy, one of those dim-witted pretty boys who had no sense or reason. However, Edward didn’t say anything to her as she was an adult and could make decisions on her own -- even if they were the wrong ones. Besides, she was so smitten by Erron that Edward suspected she wouldn’t have listened to or believed his warnings anyway.

She searched on her phone and found the (infamous) girl’s Instagram profile and then handed it to Edward. Looking through Cassie Cage’s photos, frowning, shaking his head, he found himself unimpressed. This was the woman that got Erron’s attention? Honestly? She was a spoiled, bratty, self-centered blonde with the IQ of a donut! 

Clearly.

Although, seeing as how Erron’s IQ was clearly no higher than that of Cassie Cage, Edward figured birds of a feather flocked together...one dodo for another.

“Ugh, I’ve seen enough,” Edward said, handing her back her phone. “She’s a social media brat who has fluff for brains and probably uses her looks to get what she wants. There’s no way she’s actually an intelligent, fascinating person. Anyone who takes that many ridiculous selfies is, without a doubt, an idiot.”

Edward noticed she didn’t appear to be relieved by his words, so he quickly thought of something else to add, hoping it would provide some sort of window to clarity that she desperately needed for this situation.

“So, this Cassie fits society’s shallow and pointless standards of beauty,” Edward said. “She’s an absolute bore, I tell you! She’s got a pretty face and an attitude, probably only is successful because she’s relied on her parents for everything.”

She still looked upset, and maybe even more so.

Ok, Edward, think! thought the criminal genius, chewing on his lower lip as his anxiousness grew. There’s got to be a way to get this through to her. This is a waste of her time!

“I mean...I wouldn’t want to spend time with her,” Edward said, placing a hand on his chest. “I’d probably lose my mind after listening to whatever pointless drivel would inevitably spill forth from her mouth. As for her looks, well, let’s be realistic here: they won’t last, and then what? She’ll be stranded with her own deflated ego and nowhere to go.”

Edward could tell that she was nearly crying now much to his dismay, and she kept her head down to hide the tears gathering under her lashes. This was absurd, he thought. Why did she feel so hurt by a guy who was a complete moron and a girl who looked like every other blonde girl out there? It was a waste of time, energy, thought, and emotion to dwell on such people. Why couldn’t she see that?

“I understand what you said,” she said, sniffling. “I agree with a lot of it but...it still hurts, maybe more so now that I realize how much of a bimbo Cassie is. And Erron chose her? I’m not blonde...is that what he wants?” She gripped her phone tightly. “Do I need to start acting like an obnoxious brat, taking selfies and posting them online for attention?” The grip was now threatening to crack the protective outer case of the phone. “I did all I could to be a good friend to him, was there for him, listened to him, treated him well….and yet, I’m still not good enough to earn his...his love? He waited a long time for Cassie...well, I’ve waited even longer to stop being rejected because I’m not good enough!”

Not wanting her to injure herself, he reached out and placed a hand over hers, watching her fingers loosen around her phone.

“I don’t feel good enough,” she said softly, finally crying. “I’ve never been good enough. I don’t know why...I don’t know...I try and I try but it’s never enough...”

Edward watched her sob quietly to herself, unsure of what to do but his internal panic was growing worse. This wasn’t exactly his area of expertise, and he still thought she was wasting energy on two idiots. However, there was nothing he could do about that, not right now, not when she was still overwhelmed by emotion.

So, he reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder, feeling a little awkward doing it but it was all he could think of at the time.

“It’s going to be alright,” Edward told her. “I promise.”

A few weeks later….

Edward was typing away at his computer as she sat at a table nearby working on one of her custom dolls. With her headphones on, she drowned out the world around her, entirely focused on painting the face of the doll. Because of this, she didn’t notice him get up from his chair to “greet” the ignorant Neanderthal standing outside under the security camera mounted on top of the main door.

Edward opened the door to see a worried Erron Black standing outside.

“What do you want?” Edward asked in an exasperated tone. 

“Have you heard from her?” Erron asked. “She hasn’t responded to my texts or calls, and it’s really botherin’ me. I wanna know if she’s a’right.”

Edward crossed his arms, sighing in annoyance.

“Yes, I have seen her and spoken to her,” Edward said. “And it’s her right to ignore you if she chooses to.”

“I...I know that but…” Erron rubbed the back of his neck. “I...I want to speak to her...there’s somethin’ I got to say. I...I just...I need to see her and talk to her, face to face.”

“Haven’t you done enough?” Edward demanded. “No, you can’t speak to her. You’ve done enough damage to her psychological state with your puny, insignificant brain.”

Erron looked taken aback but said nothing as guilt consumed him further. As much as he hated Edward’s callous words, the cowboy wasn’t in the mood to pick a fight.

“Now, run along, Little Cowboy,” Edward said. “Go back to your vapid Selfie Queen where you belong.”

With that, Edward closed the door in Erron’s face, smirking triumphantly. Why that idiot thought he could just walk on back with his tail between his legs and beg for forgiveness, Edward had no idea. Then again the other man was too selfish to realize the error of his ways, so it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise he tried that.

As Edward made his way back to his computer, he suddenly got an idea; a beautiful, incredible, ingenious, devious idea. Taking his phone out of his pants pocket, he searched for and dialed the number he had in mind for this situation.

“Hello, Crane,” Edward said, smiling wickedly to himself.

“Ah, Edward,” said Jonathan, who was fully expecting to be hit with Edward’s ego. “I am surprised to hear from you. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I’ve got something, or rather someone for you.”

“Oh?”

“You said you were working on a new variation of that fear toxin of yours, am I correct?”

“Yes, and it’s nearly ready. Perhaps just another day more and it will be finished.”

“Great! Then I have a candidate you can test it on.”

“Oh, yes, do tell. I am always looking for ‘volunteers,’ as you know.”

Edward gave Erron’s name and description to Jonathan, his smile turning into a malicious grin as he did so. As much as Edward wanted to teach the dumb cowboy a lesson himself, he also thought it wasn’t worth the effort and Scarecrow loved having ‘volunteers’ for his silly little gas...

“I will have my men apprehend him right away,” said Jonathan.

“Just don’t leave any permanent damage,” Edward said. “Otherwise...have at it.”

“I would never do such a terrible thing,” Jonathan said, chuckling darkly. “I take good care of all of my ‘volunteers.’”

“Don’t say I never did anything for you.”

“Before I go, may I ask why you are recommending this man to me? Is he one of your henchmen? Did he steal from you? Fail to complete a job?”

Now this caught Edward off guard. How was he going to explain this? He couldn’t even fully explain his feelings about this -- about her -- to himself. Yet, he didn’t want to deny Jonathan an answer, either. It was a perfectly valid, logical, albeit nosey question.

“This man, he…” Edward began, his words catching in his throat for a moment. “He, um...he...damaged something...something very valuable to me. And...and as much as I want to discipline him myself, he is too far beneath me for me to waste any of my precious time dealing with him further.”

“Ah, I see,” said Jonathan. “I must be going now, but thank you, Edward. You are too generous.”

With that, Edward hung up and made his way over to her, lightly tapping her shoulder. Turning around, she smiled up at him and removed her headphones.

“Hi, Eddie,” she said. “Did you need something?”

“No, no,” he said with a charming smile. “I just wanted to get a closer look at what you’re working on. It looks impressive so far.”

“Really?” she looked delighted, her cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink. “It’s not done yet but...thank you! You have given me a little confidence boost.”

“And you deserve it,” Edward said, patting her shoulder. “I look forward to the final result.”

Back at his desk, Edward continued working on code for upgrades to the Riddlerbots, humming to himself contentedly. Maybe what he did was a bit much, but the cowboy needed to be put in his place. Men like Erron -- people like Erron -- always did. Besides, she would forget about the fool in time. Edward was certain of this because that was the nature of things: you forget about what no longer has any meaning or purpose in your life, and seeing as how she wasn’t at all interested in conversing with Erron anymore...well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out the conclusion.

“Just dance,” she sang softly to herself. “Gonna be okay, da da doo-doo-mmm...”

Edward nodded to himself upon hearing her, smiling.

Yes, it’s going to be ok, My Dear, he thought. It’s all going to be ok…

-----------------

And that’s the drabble....Now, think of this: Riddler could fuck Erron Black up. I mean, he has a goddamn robot army. And Riddler is a criminal genius -- well, even without the “criminal” part, he’s still a genius. Erron is....he’s not. No offense but he’s not. 

In this drabble, Eddie is aware of all of this, but -- and this is where the self-insert part comes in so forgive me -- he does have strong feels for myself (which sounds weird but, like I said, this is a self-insert type of thing and I self-ship with this Riddler so......), as I’m the only friend he’s got (only friend he’s probably ever had, really). So, he’s very protective. 

I can see Arkham Knight Riddler being this way if he actually cared for someone. They’d be special to him for a lot of reasons and he wouldn’t want them to be hurt. He’d be devastated because he cares for them, they care for him...it’s the last the he’d want, for them to be hurt in any way.

And we know Riddler isn’t above getting revenge, and this is personal. 

Yes, I know Batman pissing him off and humiliating him over and over is personal, but I think this sort of situation would be even heavier for AK Riddler for the reasons I already mentioned. 

Some idiot dared to make his one and only friend, the only person who has been both kind and respectful towards him despite his flaws, feel awful about themselves and for no good fucking reason? 

A guy who reminds Eddie of the bullies he had to deal with growing up (I do think AK Riddler was bullied growing up -- it seems to be implied, and with how poor his social skills are, I think he would have sadly been a target for bullies in school)? 

A guy who is so beneath both Eddie and his dear friend, that said guy doesn’t deserve to walk away from this without paying a price?

But Edward isn’t a master of mental torture like Scarecrow is, and we know Scarecrow’s fear toxin makes people hallucinate terrible, terrifying things, including their worst fears and possibly any traumas they have endured in life. Erron Black didn’t have the best childhood based on his intros with other MK characters. It seems like he grew up in an abusive household, has trouble being open with anyone, has trouble forming serious relationships, chases cheap thrills over and over like he’s filling some sort of void....

Something tells me Erron wouldn’t have a good time under the influencer of Scarecrow’s toxin, and while Eddie doesn’t know about Erron’s unpleasant childhood, he...also doesn’t and wouldn’t care because, AGAIN, of the reasons I have already mentioned. In Eddie’s mind, he’s getting revenge for his only friend, the only person he actually cares for, and he’s getting it in a very fucked up kind of way. 

Phew...that was a real fucking ramble. I apologize but I have a lot of feelings about this drabble and its subject matter.....

And let’s be fucking REAL, Bitches: Erron should be glad we’re dealing with Arkhamverse Riddler and not Telltale Riddler. If it were Telltale Riddler.....omfg Erron would probably beg for the fear toxin.

Because Telltale Riddler doesn’t fuck around. 

[lavenderek]

Why do you hate Ian?? When i was a kid I LOVED What A Girl Wants. I had such a crush on Ian :(

i am happy to go off thank you for this opportunity, long post under the cut

in case somebody wants to read this but doesn’t know what “what a girl wants” is, it’s a movie from the early 2000′s starring amanda bynes as Daphne. 

she grew up in new york with a single mom, Libby. she has an estranged father played by colin firth, Henry, who doesn’t know daphne exists. libby is a singer who works weddings a lot. 

libby and henry were star-crossed lovers, basically. henry is an english aristocrat with political aspirations, and his family believed marrying libby, who is living her stevie nicks fantasy, would damage his career; so they got her alone and convinced her henry changed his mind and didn’t want her. libby left, not yet knowing she was pregnant, and then spent 17 years pining for him. 

daphne has spent her whole life romanticizing the idea of her father coming to get her, so after she graduates high school she chooses to fly out to england and surprise him. when she gets there she is disappointed to find that he is engaged to a woman who has a daughter about daphne’s age, but tries to make it work anyway. 

daphne is clumsy and very casual, so hijinks ensue. henry’s fiancee and future stepdaughter are evil and conniving. 

daphne is rejected and bullied by the fiancee and stepdaughter and she struggles trying to fit in with aristocratic society, so ultimately she leaves. henry is upset about this because he learned to love her, and subsequently he discovers she was being mistreated. he breaks up with the fiancee and flies out to america to surprise daphne. daphne gets into oxford u somehow and they all live happily ever after. 

the first person daphne meets and gets to know in the movie is a local musician named Ian, who tells her she was born to stand out. he has minimal effect on the plot, like, i could write him out in two minutes, but god forbid we have a teen movie without a romance in it. they’re immediately attracted to each other and he proceeds to be a very bad boyfriend that the audience is supposed to find morally upstanding and charming. 

this post is about how it did not work and i don’t like him. 

The Superficial Shit: I’m Not About It

i’m immune to motorcycle boys. motorcycles are impractical and loud. get a muffler. i think if you buy a motorcycle you have to sign a contract promising to idle on your motorcycle for ten minutes every morning at 6:30 so that everyone in the neighborhood knows you have a motorcycle. so i don’t care that ian is A Bad Boy. 

i’m also immune to english accents. it’s just like, an accent. it’s fine. i’m supposed to find everything he does inherently charming because he has an accent and he sings, but i don’t, so, try a little harder.

like, i’m also not impressed by sporty types, but i still accepted “a cinderella story” because austin had a character progression and i could see why sam found him attractive. 

ian has no character progression. he starts out confident and independent and he ends up confident and independent. he remains happily working class with a more or less successful band the entire movie. nothing daphne does affects him negatively except that one time she fucks up and blows off a concert he wanted to go to. 

so as a result i’m not invested in anything he does. the only interesting thing he does is first building up daphne’s confidence and then getting mad and tearing it back down when she’s doing something he doesn’t personally find important, which is the next thing. 

The Worst Boyfriend: Why Am I Not The Center Of Your Universe?

here are the first three pieces of information ian learns about daphne:

her mom is a musician 

she is american 

she is here to find and get to know her politician father, Lord Dashwood

he’s very supportive of this endeavor, right up until it gets difficult. he’s like, “you came all this way, he’s your dad, you should definitely meet him.” 

she publicly fucks up a couple major society events and then is like, “hey, i’m putting my dad’s career in jeopardy, so in order to stay and get to know him this summer i’m gonna prioritize these events a little more.”

and ian is immediately like, “you’ve changed,” and dumps her lmfao

her lifelong drive to find and get to know her dad is one of the first things he learns about her. why does he think it’s so stupid? why am i supposed to care about his opinion? 

daphne, probably: this thing is important to me. ian, probably: ok, that’s fine.  daphne, probably: woof, in order to keep up with this thing i have to try a little harder.  ian, probably: hm. actually, this is unimportant.  daphne, probably: i’m going to do it anyway.  ian, probably: what? didn’t you hear me? i just said it was unimportant. why aren’t you quitting immediately? my opinion should be your primary concern. you know what? i’m done.

i had the same problem with nate from “the devil wears prada.” i will never understand the idea of seeing someone you apparently care deeply about very stressed out trying to accomplish a goal, and being mad that they’re not super fun and interesting right then. sometimes a person you care about is going through something. let her vent and buy her some ice cream. 

if your partner stops being supportive and understanding the second your life gets stressful or complicated, that’s kind of a red flag. the real test of a relationship is when you have to support each other and maintain your bond even when you’re trying to get something done, or even when you’re having a rough time and you’re in a bad mood. 

ian fails this test because he’s weirdly judgmental about it all.

Attitude Stinks

before the change ian hates, daphne is late to things, she dresses casually for formal events, she gets into a screaming physical altercation with someone at a party, and because she was acting out a lot at a ball she’s blamed for the destruction of a prized, historical piece of architecture. all of these cause scandals that embarrass henry and make him look bad in tabloids. he is in the middle of a campaign for a political position, so this is bad. 

after the change, daphne reaches out to her debutante grandmother for guidance and starts wearing socially acceptable clothing, goes to events where she is expected, and is quiet and respectful at an event where she’s supposed to meet the queen of england. this is all very successful for henry. people go up to him and tell him daphne’s great, and she somehow ends up in a tabloid that talks about how great she is lmfao. 

all of this takes a lot of effort from daphne, though. she’s stressed out. while this works out for henry, it isn’t working for daphne. she’s doing all this so that she can be accepted by her father’s family, but the fiancee and stepdaughter don’t want her around, and henry is passive throughout all this. he doesn’t know she’s actively being bullied, but he’s also letting his fiancee direct him away from daphne. so daphne ultimately leaves. 

here’s where ian comes in. ian tells her a story toward the beginning of the movie about how his mother was also an aristocrat. he tells her she was rejected by society because of classism towards ian’s father. this is framed as a demonstration of ian’s values. the fact that his mother rejected being a debutante is a source of pride for ian. 

but the problem is that this is just because ian likes the choice she made. he’s not proud that his mother took control of her life and made her own decision. he’s proud that his mother rebelled. you know this because he sums up the story with this line -

daphne: what happened to your parents?  ian: they’re as poor as church mice and the happiest people i know. 

- and because his entire conflict in the movie is that daphne makes a different decision. 

ian’s mom chose her husband over her parents and the life they wanted for her. daphne is choosing the family she’s been wanting her whole life over a guy she’s known for like, a month. ian is the biggest whiner about it. he storms out on her. she runs into him at an event and asks to talk to him, and he tells her no. he only forgives her when she quits and goes back to america. 

there are a lot of dudes like this out there. he loves a strong, unique woman, as long as she fits seamlessly into his life and makes decisions he tells her to. yawn. 

Makes No Sense: Why Are You Here?

ian is somehow ubiquitous in debutante society. he and his little band are hired to play at every ball daphne goes to. why??

a huge plot point is a moment where daphne attends a terribly boring coming out ball for a pair of very meek, shy twins. daphne delights the twins by going out of her way to liven up the party. she convinces ian to play loud rock music and encourages everyone at the ball to dance. the bass is too loud, though, and somehow causes an antique chandelier to fall. this is a big scandal. 

the whole thing that’s emphasized during this scene is that daphne is shaking up the scene and that this music is unorthodox and unwanted at these high society type functions. 

which all begs the question of why these people keep hiring a local rock band for these events. he’s playing at at least one other ball later on in the movie. the music they play doesn’t really fit in with the tone of the events, which are the kind of affairs you’d wear a tiara to. these are very formal events. why are we hiring ian and his band, and where did you guys even find him?? 

in the scene where daphne gets into a fight with somebody, she’s at a fancy outdoor event, the kind of place you’d wear a tea length dress and a big hat. ian is also there, working in the parking lot as a parking lot guy. 

daphne’s thrilled, but she does ask why he’s there. he’s basically like, “i have lots of jobs.” for somebody who hates deb society so much, he does take a lot of jobs at deb events. why don’t you work in a restaurant or something? does that offend your punk rock whiner sensibilities? 

also, he’s boring and i think daphne should go for somebody who makes her laugh. 

Has Spiked Hair

lots of gel, no other info needed. wash your hair. very sculpted hair makes people seem less down to earth. it’s not relatable. 

I Will Fix It

so ian doesn’t help with the plot at all. the only time he helps daphne is in the chandelier scene. the rest of the time he’s just there to date her and talk to her a lot about how cool it is to stand out and not fit in. 

his role in the movie is to cause more tension and place more pressure on daphne. he behaves like she’s making a moral choice, when really she’s making a behavioral choice. 

i think using him to vocalize her conflict is a mistake because it’s framed as Stand Out vs. Assimilate, when that has nothing to do with daphne’s motivation. 

daphne’s Want is to be with her dad, and her Need is to be accepted and wanted. as a result, ian rejecting her because he doesn’t like the choices she’s making comes across as entitled and cruel lmao. it’s directly antithetical to daphne’s journey. she never once says anything about loving standing out. 

here are the ways i think this could be fixed: 

if you want it to be a moral thing, make it a moral thing. 

give ian a best friend who is gay, and after daphne decides to fit in with society, she won’t be seen with the gay friend anymore. or after daphne decides to fit in, have her be super judgmental of people who aren’t succeeding as much as she is. then when she decides she’s fed up, have her stand up for them. 

that would make ian being mad about her “changing” make sense. and we, the audience, would be like, “yeah, this is misguided and goes against what daphne believes.” 

not breaking things or yelling at a royal event isn’t a moral stance. why are you so pressed. get a hobby 

if you want her thing to be standing out, make it standing out. 

standing out isn’t a conflict in the whole movie. henry’s flaw is being passive. daphne’s flaw is being embarrassing at parties because she’s clumsy and she likes to meet new people and dance and stuff. libby has no flaw except that she was a victim of classism. 

the twins at the party are dowdy and shy, and daphne gives them a makeover off screen lmao. ian is single, and daphne dates him. 

so make standing out the recurring issue. make daphne super obsessed with fitting in. in the very beginning, she runs into a girl she knows at a wedding. the girl is kind of privileged and successful, and daphne reveals that she’s a free spirit who doesn’t know what she wants to do with her life. instead, make her hedge and hem and haw and try to make herself seem more successful to the girl. make her Want to be fancy and part of her dad’s high society life, but her Need to “be herself.” 

maybe the twins are secretly super weird and quirky, and they’re depressed trying to fit in; and their big moment revealing being cool now at the garden party is them wearing loud patterns and dancing when the music starts playing. maybe ian is super funny and goofy and the parties suck until he and daphne trick the singer into leaving the stage, and ian jumps onstage and plays a fun song. 

make libby have been rejected because she always started talking politics at henry’s parties and she’s kind of radical. 

maybe daphne: hey, i’m sorry, but you can’t come with me to the party next week anymore. maybe ian: what? how come, i rented a tux for this. maybe daphne: sorry. i’m trying to behave.  maybe ian: haha what does that mean? you’re not trying to fit in with all those stuffy losers, are you?  maybe daphne: no, i’m trying not to ruin things for my dad. it was a big deal when you were super messy at the garden party.  maybe ian: wow. i seem to recall you being “messy” right along with me. sorry for embarrassing you.  maybe daphne: ian, don’t take it personally. we can still hang out sometimes, i just can’t go places with you.  maybe ian: no, thanks. 

i don’t prefer this, because i’m an introvert and people who think someone they don’t personally find interesting are fundamentally worse, are boring and annoying. i wouldn’t find this story relatable or compelling at all. i’m 9000 years old and i’m like, “what if you guys respected each other and participated in society, though?” i wouldn’t enjoy this story. but at least it would make sense why ian’s bothered by daphne not “standing out.”

i think the entire reason this movie was made is that trailer moment from the boat scene where ian’s like, “i don’t understand why you want to fit in, when you were born to stand out!” so that’s how you can keep that dumbass line. 

make ian have an arc himself. 

in the movie, ian is initially helpful and gives some backstory, and then partway through the movie he gets mad at her and breaks up with her. he forgives her at the same time as henry realizes daphne’s unhappy, right at the end. 

instead, make ian become helpful as the movie progresses. 

so first of all, take the scene toward the beginning where he’s in the boat allegedly showing her how to practice being poised, and he tells her about his mom being a disowned deb. move this scene to the beginning of the third act. 

next, make it so that ian was rejected by his grandparents. maybe ian at some point also defied his mom to seek out estranged family; but where daphne’s dad let her stay, ian’s grandparents insulted him and told him they didn’t want him around. they called him illegitimate and a mistake. so when daphne chooses to try to conform, ian is reacting to those feelings rather than projecting his own feelings of personal superiority. 

and finally, make daphne try to fit in much sooner, but make her super bad at it. my roommates and i watched this movie the other night and one of them made the very good point that daphne’s grandmother and father sit her down and are like, “there is a certain way you’re supposed to behave,” but they don’t tell her how to do that. 

so let’s actually keep that part. maybe daphne overcorrects. she knows she’s fucking up, so she believes she shouldn’t be doing anything fun or interesting or making conversation with anyone. this isn’t great. her charm is in how friendly, fun-loving, and proactive she is. she does what she wants and people find it refreshing. make people start to be like, “wow, lord dashwood’s daughter is kind of weird and stiff. it’s clear she isn’t used to places like this, what a rube.” 

now we get to the third act, and the boat scene. in the boat, ian tells her about his family, and apologizes and offers to try and help her, if this is what she wants. now ian is playing more of an active role, and he’s contributing to her life in a positive way. 

because as it is, he does nothing that i couldn’t get rid of very easily. so...

get rid of ian. 

here are the effects ian currently has on the plot: 

daphne riding away on the back of a motorcycle makes henry worry about her, and he realizes he’s developing paternal feelings toward her. he calls libby and libby affirms and empathizes with those feelings. 

ian is in the band at the party where the chandelier is destroyed. 

ian talks a lot about how daphne’s supposed to stand out. 

ian stresses daphne out, which sort of artificially raises the stakes. 

ian shows up right at the end to reward daphne for existing. 

especially because ian’s criticisms are so disconnected from daphne’s motivations, nothing he does is particularly helpful to the plot in a way that he couldn’t be replaced. 

daphne has a tattoo in the movie, and when henry sees it, he’s sort of like, wow, she’s kind of a wild child, she reminds me of me when i was young. instead of a motorcycle boyfriend, make daphne get the tattoo in london. henry calls libby like, “she just got a tattoo!” and libby is like, “i remember you holding my hand while i got my first tattoo.” 

maybe the live band takes a break, and daphne sneaks up and hooks up the speakers to her ipod or something, and she plays super loud music herself. 

i already talked about how pointless this is. also, we don’t need a greek chorus telling us what’s going on. show, don’t tell. 

daphne is already stressed. those motivations can come from inside daphne.

why would henry seek out daphne’s ex-boyfriend and fly him out to new york to impose on daphne and her mom? this is so weird. go home. 

ian is replaceable. to the left, to the left. 

[bewaretheidesofmarchyall]

Soulmate Shenanigans Five: The Order Of The Shenanigans

Hey! Guess who has returned? 

Me!

Just the March doing her prompt writing thing, as seen on previous episodes :)

Parts one, two, three, and four here!

Prompt #5

Any intense emotions your soulmate feels you will also experience

Warnings for kidnapping mention and gifted kid “potential” mention

Okay. Not going to lie, I kind of tweaked the concept, but I like how it turned out. The idea of the sides having sides in human AUs has been in my brain, and now it’s in yours!

World Building

At first, the symptoms of having a soulmate was seen as symptoms of witchcraft

It was a reasonable assumption to make, as seeing into someone’s head and emotions wasn’t really a thing that humans did. 

However, as the population grew and communication across the globe became a thing, the instances of people finding their soulmates grew as well, and not everyone could be a witch (or, if they were, being a witch was simply being human).

It took a while for the culture around soulmates to shift, but shift it did, and people eventually figured out “Oh, that person is my soulmate, not my eternal enemy that I need to destroy via my demonic powers, which I totally have”

But people’s minds are kind of a lot, and it’s hard to process it all.

So, in modern day, people have learned to separate the pieces of their soulmate’s personality that they get bombarded with into different pieces, or sides

The sides are Logic, Morality/Emotions, Creativity (with there sometimes being a divide between dark and light), Self-Preservation, and Anxiety.

Characters

Roman: Roman is looking forward to meeting his soulmate so much!

Just...later.

When he’s a famous writer and people know about him and he’s evened out his insecurities and he deserves them!

Being perfect for them is going to take work, but most people meet their soulmates over 30, so he’s got at least fifteen years to prepare.

Until then, he was working on his fantasy story and dreaming of the day he’d get published or get the lead in a school play.

The writing club had been his idea, so you could say that everything that happens in the story was his fault. He’d just wanted to be around people who liked the same things he liked!

Roman’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have:

Note: Names are hard. Aaaagh.

Magnus, his creativity, romance, passion, etcetera. Magnus is really the one who calls the shots around here. He’s just as goofy of a fifteen year old (if not more) as Roman, but he has the unenviable position of running a mind palace and being the ego of someone who hates himself.

This guy just wants to listen to Hamilton, but noooo, he had to have an evil reflection of himself and self-worth issues.

The Count, his self-preservation and pretty much Roman’s inner Roxie Hart/Velma Kelly. Randomly suggests poisoning their mortal enemies a lot (note: they don’t have mortal enemies). 

The most like canon Janus out of any of the self preservations, except instead of “we live in a society” it’s more “fuck it, we’re going to be *famous*!”

The other sides will pay him to stop saying, “that’s showbiz”

The Medic, his morality and emotions. Sort of has a medieval healer thing going on (which means herbs in a satchel, not plague doctor mask).

A lovely person on his own, but when he and The Guard team up, it’s ✨Guilt time!✨

He has the question of “Am I a terrible person?” on his hands, so...good luck to him. He’s trying to hold the five of them into a cohesive unit, but it’s hard!

The Guard, his fears and anxious thoughts. He has a shield and a spear, and is kind of dressed like a (dark and stormy) knight.

No one particularly likes him, but it’s his job to recognize The Shadow, so they all need him.

He hangs around on the outskirts of the mindscape, ever vigilant.

The Alchemist, his logic. No one listens to the voice of reason in this house. Al isn’t really a fan of this, and being Roman’s logic, he thinks that if he can find a way to prove himself it’ll turn out okay.

The Shadow, everything Magnus discarded. You could call him dark creativity, but he’s a lot more. 

They used to call him Rex, when they were kids.

Patton: Patton isn’t thrilled with having to move to a new school, but he’s keeping a positive attitude

The new town is creepy and making friends is harder than he thought, and he just wants to right a sappy love story about ghosts without feeling sad.

But if he keeps his chin up, he knows it’ll all be fine!

And hey, maybe he’ll find people who like him in this writing club thing!

Patton’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have: 

Patrick, his morality and emotions. Patrick feels all of the loneliness and desperation that Patton feels daily, but pretends he doesn’t feel it, since he has to be there for them!

Them meaning his family, meaning the rest of Patton’s mind, as well as Patton, since he’s kind of an older brother/role model to the guy.

Covering the full scope of human emotions isn’t great when the other half of your job is enforcing the sense of right and wrong (and the general consensus in Patton’s head is showing negative emotions = burden = wrong).

None of them can cook, but that won’t stop him from trying!

The Canary, his fears and anxious thoughts. Constantly popping up to remind everyone that they’re failing. It’s kind of his job.

Stress plays the piano when things get to be too much.

The Gardener, his creativity, romance, and passion. Conjures flowers a lot. Projects wishes for a soulmate into the sappy ghost love story, which he’s mostly in charge of writing.

Hasn’t split yet, but that’s mostly because nearly all of Patton’s negative impulses that would be considered “dark creativity” already come from The Miser.

Dr. Picani, his logical side. Knows everything about cartoons, and tries to be professional, but a complete sweetheart.

Secretly knows his name is Emile, but is waiting for the best moment to tell everyone.

The Miser, his self-preservation and deceitful side. No one’s a fan of him. Patrick is kind of his mortal nemesis (in the sense that Patrick claimed the title and he just kind of went along with it?)

Everyone else in the Pattonsphere refuses to curse, but he says many a “fuck” with ease

Trying to protect The Gardener from splitting by taking responsibility for most of the things a dark creativity would do.

Virgil: Virgil just didn’t want to join the yearbook committee. 

It was irrational, maybe, to have a deep rooted hatred of the yearbook committee. 

They were just trying to categorize things, design pages-it wasn’t malicious! 

And yet, being in that classroom and seeing Amelia’s dead eyes and smile near rang every alarm bell in his system, so he needed a way out this year.

His parents weren’t going to let him not choose an activity, so he flipped a coin and ended up in some writing club.

He came into the club determined to fake some pretentious poetry about death. Just because they say the club’s about expression or whatever doesn’t mean that they can know anything about his comics.

Virgil’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have: 

Dante, his fears and anxious thoughts. Dante has too many eyes. Dante is lowkey a cryptid, but he’s sadly a cryptid in charge of life decisions.

There’s no way to dance around it. Dante’s a spider-human hybrid.

Dante would prefer they never be perceived by anyone for anything. He does not want to be seen, he does not want to be heard, he does not want to be perceived. Period. 

But he’s a very conspicuous spider-human hybrid. 

The Competent One, The One Who Can Actually Do Math, Steve, whatever you want to call him, he’s Virgil’s logical side.

His theories are just....

See that image? That kind of sums up his characterization.

Parker, his creativity, romance, and heroic side. He’s the one who got them obsessed with comic books, and is trying to write his own. If people don’t like the comics, he’ll probably just start screaming and never stop

He gets the purple eyeshadow!

Remy, his self-preservation. He mainly just wants Virgil to just...rest

Nap. Sleep. Take a self-care day. This is Remy’s goal.

Also to continue to have the most style out of anyone in the Virgilsphere

Remy has a talent for never being anywhere at the right time, and then popping up at the worst moments, caffeine in hand.

Tam, his morality and emotions. The most into the emo phase out of any of them, since he feels all angst!

Sometimes just hovers and screams. Everyone’s pretty used to this.

Logan: Logan was trying to ignore the things he’d seen

Logan was a scientific guy. He knew that magic wasn’t real, that the fae were just stories.

So, clearly, the nightmarish things he’d seen that night were just that: nightmares. Just nightmares caused by stress over his academic struggles.

That was the immediate problem at hand: academic struggles. Logan was always the top of his class his whole life, and words like “gifted” were thrown around. Lately, however, things have been harder to keep up with and pay attention to, and it’s a bit of a mess.

Logan joined the writing club because he thought it might help him with English class, and he did like speculative fiction.

But, more importantly, he joined it because he thought it would be a simple task he could easily ace, so he wouldn’t have to keep being told that he wasn’t trying.

Logan’s Sides, ranked in order of how much control they have:

Mimir, his logical side. Mimir is pushing himself to take care of all academic matters and keep Logan afloat.

Mimir is over his head, but doesn’t really have anyone to talk to (or so he thinks), so he’s just putting Warby Parkers over his panic and faking cold distance to make everyone think he’s doing okay.

Alastor, his moral side. Half of his job is repressing Logan’s emotions, which isn’t a great thing to be doing, but he think he’s doing it for a good reason.

Kinda strict and blaming Mimir for everything going wrong. He does care about the others, he’s just bad at showing it.

Cassandros, his fears and anxious thoughts. 

This dude-

He’s basically just [puts feet on coffee table] “Hey, did you know everyone hates us?? I made a PowerPoint that proves it!”

He’ll get character development, though.

The Chessmaster, his overdramatic self-preservation.

Tries to be clever, walks into walls.

The Detective, his creative and fanciful side. He wants to swashbuckle, but instead he’s restrained to geometry. 

But now he has a project in the writing club! He has something to do!

And The Mad Scientist is trying to ruin it!

The Mad Scientist, Logan’s dark creativity.

They never used to care about the creative side one way or another. There was no need to make a dark side when it was already looked down upon.

Now, however, there are things in Logan’s mind that he’s trying not to think about, and so the Mad Scientist has joined the fray.

The Actual Plot

This is going to be an actual fic that I write. So, I’m not going to fill out the entire plot here.

I can, however say a few of the plot lines

Plot One: Everyone’s sides are in a state of constant screaming and must learn to communicate.

They also need to let their main guys figure out they have soulmates, because they’re all repressing that information for their own reasons.

Plot Two: LAMP in a writing club, falling in love and being disturbed by first drafts!

Plot Three: The fae are kidnapping people.

And everyone needs to get them to Stop.

I guess you could call this a trailer??

I JUST REALLY LIKE THIS IDEA

[chicagocityfclanspromoblog]

Simone Campbell → Fola Evans-Akingbola → Human

→ Basic Information

Age: 28

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Birthday: November 30

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Religion: Agnostic

→ Her Personality (one to two paragraphs)

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Teacher’s Assistant and Bartender at Anonymous while she works on her Masters

Scars: Burn marks from carrying hot plates of food on her arms.

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: The outdoors and Carole King

Two Dislikes: Abuse of the system and Rich kids

Two Fears: Failure and Spiders

Two Hobbies: Swimming and Camping

Three Positive Traits: Stalwart, Industrious, Intelligent

Three Negative Traits: Blunt, Obstinate, Unenthusiastic

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Rodney Campbell (Father): Rodney worked as a car salesman for 30 years until his company went under in the recession. They lost the business and he had to take up a warehouse job. He’s been a big driving source for her to get her education so she has something to fall back on. Rodney’s unending effort to provide for his family is where Simone gets a lot of her stubbornness and drive from. She isn’t letting anything knock her away from her dream.

Cassandra Campbell (Mother): Cassandra is an elementary school teacher and always pushed the importance of school for her children. She and Simone get along to an extent, but Cassandra thinks she’s pushed away her family and that Simone will regret missing big family moments to work when she’s older.

Sibling Names:

Alexandra Campbell (Sister): Alexandra got a full ride academic scholarship to Duke and is studying finance there. They often will get into arguments over money and how it should be used in society. Their arguments are now banned from dinner tables and anywhere other members of the family have to hear it. Despite this they do discuss school and what Alex’s plans are for after graduation.

Lamond Campbell (Brother): Lamond is a star football player and will hopefully go to school on that. He struggles with his grades at times, and Simone will walk him through problems while she is grading papers at night.

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Isaac Baker (Ex-Boyfriend): She met Isaac where she seems to meet everyone; Anonymous. He’s friends with both of her bosses, which should have been a red flag in itself. They got along well, he was funny and charming and good in bed, but she could not deal with the comments about her friends or his jealousy. He gives her a large clearance, but she doesn’t really feel that much ill will towards him.

Platonic Connections:

Eric Lasiter (Classmate): Simone actually feels the most comfortable with Eric in class. He doesn’t try to make much small talk and keeps everything focused on the discussion in class. She was surprised to see him studying with Ashley especially since it appears they know each other well.

Ashley Malone (Classmate): There is something about Ashley that she finds off putting. They often pick opposite sides when it comes to discussion which has led to heated conversations. She’s always been fine to her in class, but since they are both competitive and know they’re the top students in the class, Simone doesn’t see them being very close anytime.

Anya Grace (Classmate): Anya is her only normal classmate. She has no time for BS and is a hard worker. She can see that Anya cares about her degree and has to work just as hard as she does for it.

Austin Semler (Classmate): She’s not sure how she continues to be partnered with Austin. He’s still very much into the gossip and drama surrounding college life that she just is not into. It’s led to some awkward conversations and tense study sessions. She thinks a part of it is that he doesn’t appear to have a real job, while she’s working as many shifts as she can to pay for everything.

Tom Mills (Student): Tom has been coming to Simone for tutoring and extra help with his social work class. As a T.A. she’s been letting him stay after class to get his work done and avoid any 2 AM emails from the undergrad.

Duke Thornton (Boss): Duke was the person she initially interviewed with. He’s got a very good poker face, so she was surprised at the call back. Duke does most of the scheduling and is always flexible with hours when she needs to study or work later at the university.

Peter Knox (Boss): While Peter and Duke are both at Anonymous frequently, Peter is on the floor more often during the rush. He’s willing to serve and bartend, anything to make sure the restaurant runs smoothly.

Josie de la Rosa (Friend): They met at Anonymous and quickly discovered that they both enjoy being active. They’ve gone swimming and kickboxing together, and she’s hoping to have a free night to join Josie at a salsa dancing class.

Selene Andris (Coworker): Selene is her favorite bartender to work with that isn’t Duke or Peter. She has a good attitude and doesn’t get stressed at large orders. She also understands a lot of the struggles that Selene is going through as a returning student and they vent about it to one another.

Matthew William-Jones (Coworker): Matthew usually buses tables, but he’s been asking her to teach him how to carry multiple plates and take orders. During slow times she’ll have him help her carry out her food and practice.

Juliette Willott (Friend): Simone met Juliette at Anonymous during a shift. Initially she thought she may have been flirting with her, but as they talked it turned out she was just being friendly and they had a lot in common. Her hanging out with Juliette caused one of the biggest fights between her and Isaac and was a partial cause of their break up.

Marni Frazier (Friend): Simone met Marnie while doing field work for her masters. She was volunteering at the same clinic and they clicked. Interestingly enough, they didn’t realize they’d met at Anonymous before. Now they regularly hang out on and off shift.

Garrett Cleirigh (Coworker): Sometimes Simone shows up to her shift and Garrett’s behind the bar. He’s never actually on the schedule, and Peter and Duke just look resigned when they see him. He makes the drinks, however, so she hasn’t questioned it.

Hostile Connections:

Hanna Moore (Uncomfortable): She’s asked some weird questions about her bosses, and Simone steers clear from her. Simone’s worked enough jobs to know not to say anything that isn’t common knowledge to a customer.

Chris Shaw (Dislikes): It seems like Chris is constantly hitting on a new girl and constantly striking out. And then he wants to complain to her. She wishes the guy would get laid and leave her alone.

Pets:

None

→ History (paragraph(s) on background) → The Present

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Fola Evans-Akingbola (Simone Campbell) [1][2][3]

[recurring-polynya]

It is time, once again, friends, for me to watch a Bleach Filler Arc and tell you about it. It is time for the Zanpakutou Rebellion.

I wasn’t really sure I wanted to do this one for a number of reasons, but we watched the second episode last night, and it featured Rukia and Renji fighting back-to-back, and sorry fam, we’re doing this, you’re getting the full force of my zanpakutou spirit headcanons whether you want them or not.

Chrome updated and stopped letting me take screenshots a while ago and I am too lazy to figure out another way, so I figured it would be easier to just illustrate these myself. Let’s see how this goes.

Okay, one thing up front. My attitude towards Bleach filler has always been that it’s just for fun, and it’s up to you, the reader/viewer, whether you want to take any of it as canon or not. I, personally, do not accept this story arc as canon, but I honestly don’t care if you do. My main problem is that I don’t think zanpakutou spirits should be humanoid as a rule, although I do headcanon that most zanpakutou can choose how to manifest themselves, and so they may have a humanoid representation, but that’s not necessarily how they usually appear, which also explains why a lot of the shinigami has trouble recognizing their zanpakutou. I also think Muramasa made Hozukimaru put on that skirt, Hozukimaru has the demeanor of a being who does not believe in pants of any variety.

Anyway, as usual, I am ahead of myself. We starts in a cave that looks exactly like the cave from the Bount arc, with some ominous stuff, but I don’t care, I want to talk about Byakuya! Fighting! Renji!  

I think every filler arc has an OP with Byakuya fighting Renji that never actually happens, but right here! First episode! Byakuya fighting Renji while Squad 6 stands around and jeers! Kyouraku and Ukitake are here, too, for some reason! It’s super lit! Byakuya stops paying attention halfway through, but he wins anyway and negs Renji a little, and Renji thanks him for the fight very earnestly and Kyouraku and Ukitake tell Renji he did a good job. This is honestly all I want out of Bleach filler. This is my happy place. Thank you, Zanpakutou Arc for these beautiful Squad 6 hijinks.

As if I weren’t on a big enough high, now we cut to Squad 10, where Matsumoto is lounging on the Crash Couch. Hinamori and Isane come in to hand-deliver an invtation to a vice-captains meeting (Aren’t they just… like… on Wednesdays?) and to complain about their zanpakutou (boy, I wish we got to see Isane’s zanpakutou in this arc!! But no!!) Matsumoto, once again, claims to be training for bankai, mostly by complaining a lot. Hitsugaya grumps around, grumpily.

All of this is so, so perfect, I just need a trip with Iba to the shinigami pub, but instead, everyone gets a mysterious invitation from the Captain Commander to come to Soukyoku Hill at midnight. Really? I would not go.

Regardless, everyone goes. This scene is great because there are too many characters standing around and this is filler meaning the animators phoned it in, so whenever one character is talking, there are at least three people in the background not moving and making a facial expression that does not go with whatever else is going on. For example, Sasakibe shows up and falls over, and his body is just… there. In the middle of everything. Also, it’s mostly captains and vice-captains, but also Ikkaku and Yumichika and Rukia are there. Someone’s like, “Hey, Ikkaku and Yumichika, why are you here?” and they’re like, “Uh, Zaraki and Yachiru are on a business trip” and then someone else is like “Hey, Rukia, why are you here?” and she just does Big Shrug Arms. This is perfect Big Filler Energy. They are here because we want to see their embodied zanpakutou spirits obviously, why must you demand explanations?

Anyway, Muramasa shows up in hall his Hot Topic glory and waves his scary fingernails and cries blood and announces that all the zanpakutou have rebelled. Then follows a hilarious scene where everyone tries to do their releases and it doesn’t work.

Episode ends/next episode begins.

Ichigo is bouncing around Karakura, like he does, when Rukia falls out of a senkaimon in the sky. (They can make them next to the ground, I don’t know why they never do) Sode no Shirayuki then shows up and it takes Ichigo a phenomenally long amount of time to figure out who she is. To be honest, I would love if this arc went in the direction that Shirayuki has it out for Ichigo for taking Rukia’s powers (Zanpakutou Headcanon #2: Zanpakutou spirits have zero perspective outside of their shinigami being the most important thing in the world to them, and Shirayuki, especially brainwashed Shirayuki, would love to take a piece out of Ichigo. Obvs, they would become best friends after Ichigo defeats her, as is his way).

After being suitable ominous, Shirayuki ollies out, and Ichigo takes Rukia back to the Shoten for Orihime-heals and flashbacks.

Rukia recaps back to Soukyoku Hill, except this time, Renji’s the only one trying fruitlessly to do his release. One reading of this, is that it’s just a recap, we don’t need to see all this again, except that then they cut to Byakuya making the Mariah Carey “I don’t know her face” for like, 10 whole seconds, and it’s sublime.

Anyway, everyone starts fighting, and Ikkaku tries to attack Komamura’s zanpakutou, which is such a colossally bad idea. I am always hoping that they will kill off characters during filler arcs and then have them be inexplicably alive later, like they used to do on Teen Titans GO! and I absolutely would have offed Ikkaku at this point if I were in charge. The zanpakutou spirits start absolutely trashing the Seireitei, mostly setting things on fire and causing ice avalanches, and just generally going bananas. I really wish there had been a montage of someone cutting heads off parking meters and spray painting “Fuck the Central 46” on the side of Squad 1, but no.

We then see Rukia and Renji running around, fighting together, and I ascended. This is all I ever want. Bless this arc. They get attacked by Sasakibe’s Gonryuu (I wish there was a running gag of no one knowing who he is, and maybe there is, later, I don’t remember) and Hisagi’s Kazeshini, who is the best zanpakutou in this whole arc, he is an unhinged Nightcrawler with sick abs and I love him. I don’t remember what happened next, because I was so distracted by my OTP doing Battle Couple, but Byakuya shows up, standing on a tower (dude likes standing on a tall thing almost as much as Rukia does), so of course, we have to do “Nii-sama!” “Taichou!” B L E S S.

Then Senbonzakura shows up, also standing on a tall rooftop, dunh dunh DUNH! It’s too bad that the Fullbringer arc sort of ruins this because the whole time, I was like “just nail him in the safety zone,” and honestly, Byakuya having a “safety zone” is… well, it’s kinda lame when you say it out loud. Anyway, Rukia flips out, and Renji’s like, “no, no, I’m sure he’s fine,” and then they get avalanched by Sode no Shirayuki and that’s all Rukia remembers.

As usual, no one is the least bit concerned for Renji, but honestly, if anyone can survive being repeatedly Senbonzakured and Hakurened, it’s that guy.

There’s a part where Rukia is telling this story and Ichigo puts his hand on his chest, and you can see the little wheels in his head turning, like, “where do I keep my zanpakutou? Is it here? What is the ‘heart’?”

Yoruichi shows up to provide more exposition, as is her Filler Arc duty, and they establish that the rebellion seems to have only gone as far as Soul Society.

Ichigo goes home to sleep in his clothes, but the Mod Souls show up to tell him that Rukia went back to Soul Society in the middle of the night. Man, the Mod Souls are in this arc, W H Y ? ? ?

Urahara agrees to send Ichigo to Soul Society why WHY W H Y would you send the guy with the awesomest and most DNGAF zanpakutou to the place where the zanpakutou are rebelling??? At this point, if I hadn’t seen this before, I would definitely assume that Urahara was behind all of this.

Some other points: Why would you not take Chad and Ishida and Orihime (and Yoruichi, for that matter), people with powers who don’t have zanpakutou? Truly, I tell you, Chad does not mind being woken up for this, and Ishida would love the chance to smugly show up and lecture a bunch of powerless shinigami. Also, if I were in Bleach, you better bet my first reaction to everything would be to ask Orihime to try to reject it, no matter how dumb it sounded. It’s worth a try! I would not go anywhere without Orihime. Orihime is the GOAT. Did we all forget the part in the Bount Arc where she killed some friggin’ ninja? I sure didn’t.

Anyway, that’s it for this time, keep tuning for next episode, where Ichigo will surely have regrets.

[askaceattorney]

Dear askrikkaiandhyotei,

Thanks for waiting, first of all.  I’m finally finished with all the essay requests that came before yours.  As Nahyuta might say...

So, an essay about the Last Rites Prosecutor?  Let us begin our journey down the path of enlightenment.

In order to properly talk about this prosecutor monk, I first have to talk briefly about the concept of religion -- not any specific one, but religion as a whole.  Throughout history, religion has been described a thousand different ways -- something necessary for life and society, something needless or even harmful for life and society, and just about everything in between.  The reason I bring this up is that Nahyuta does a great job of portraying both the positive and negative sides of religion through the use of a fictitious one called Khura’inism -- a pretty bold move on Capcom’s part, but if you ask me, it paid off pretty well.

We first meet him in his natural habitat, as peaceful as anyone could be.

His peace is interrupted when the police drag a captured member of the Defiant Dragons into the temple.  As a prosecutor of high reputation, this rebel could be described as Nahyuta’s mortal enemy, but his attitude toward him, while disdainful, is far from unpleasant; he in fact offers him mercy on behalf of the Holy Mother if he’s willing to submit himself to the court’s judgment.  Even knowing how empty of a gesture this is, considering the unfairness of every trial in Khura’in since the enactment of the DC Act, it’s still somewhat refreshing to see him speak so calmly to someone considered to be the lowest of the low in Khura’in.  His patience stems from his calm nature, but also from his loyalty to the deity he serves, as evidenced in his words:

“O Holy Mother, as your humble servant, you would have me act to save this wretch’s soul?  I suppose this, too, is part of my fate.”  This demonstrates one of the nobler sides of religion -- a willingness to leave one’s fate in the hands of a higher power.

The next time we see him, he attempts to stop a potentially brutal fight between the police and a fugitive, who happens to be holding a knife to Maya’s neck.  His desire for a peace is admirable, especially in such an intense situation, but what he says next is of questionable virtue:

It’s here that Nahyuta displays one of the less noble parts of religion -- looking down on those who don’t share one’s beliefs.  Sure, a guy who’s willing to use an innocent bystander as a shield obviously needs some form of help, but what exactly are those condescending words supposed to do for him (or Maya, for that matter)?  Not surprisingly, he refuses to listen, but luckily, Nahyuta has reflexes like Little Mac.

Interestingly enough, immediately after this, we see his compassionate side again.  He not only rescues a foreign visitor, but wishes the Holy Mother’s divine favor on her.

As uppity as he’s shown himself to be, it’s hard to dislike someone who treats a stranger so well -- especially one who, as we know, has been through some serious rough spots in her life.  This introduction of Nahyuta -- a disdainful yet compassionate man of faith -- leads us to wonder if he’s meant to be a protagonist, antagonist, antihero, or something else.

And we haven’t even gotten into the game proper yet.  There’s still a lot to unpack about this guy.

Our next bit of info comes from his unlikely detec- sorry, forensic investigator, Ema Skye:

Like a lot of new characters, he’s shrouded in mystery from the very beginning.  We at least learn what his reason is for choosing the prosecutor’s path, and where his courtroom nickname came from:

We’ve seen all manner of bizarre prosecutors up until now, but so far, Nahyuta is the only prosecutor who wears his beliefs on his sleeve, especially in the courtroom.  For him, prosecuting is about more than seeking justice for the guilty -- it’s about seeking salvation for their victims.  In other words, it’s not only his professional duty, but a religious one.  Interestingly enough, his professionalism is no less strong than his religion -- according to Ema, he’s known for solving difficult cases around the world.

But religious, professional, or otherwise, Nahyuta proves to be the same as every other prosecutor, as well as every human being -- capable of making mistakes, both big and small.  Before we get to that, though...

Well, what do you know?  Looks like we have yet another connection between a new character and a current one.  Apollo, just how many people do you know that you never talk about?

The importance of their relationship is put to the side as we learn how Nahyuta operates as a prosecutor.  At first, he seems like a “gentle-mannered soul,” as Athena puts it, but that visage disappears in the next moment.  Like pretty much every prosecutor we’ve seen, he’s proud, demeaning, and flat-out brutal when he wants to be.  He even has a favorite adjective for describing his opponents.

Then there’s the sutra he often chants as a fancy way of telling them to “get real.”  And as if that wasn’t enough, he uses his “duty as a monk to punish sinners” as a way of claiming the moral high ground, even going so far as to threaten to cast the defense and defendant “into the pit of hell.”  It’s hard to blame anyone for getting upset after hearing that, is it?

But hey, at least there’s no physical abuse this time around, right?

...Oh.

And as fate would have it (or perhaps some divine being who decided to have some fun), his favored forensic detective is a lover of science.  Talk about a perfect match, am I right?

At least the clash is more on the hilarious side in this case.

But anyway, on to Nahyuta’s mistakes.  Aside from his sickening hypocrisy (which is par the course for most Ace Attorney prosecutors, anyway) and the oversights he makes in court, there’s one blatant sin of his that sticks out: ascribing to a principle that anyone, religious or not, should be able to see problems with -- namely, the DC Act and the persecution of those who defy it.  To be fair, his motive for doing so is a humanitarian one -- protecting his family’s honor and safety -- but his willingness to look the other way as his own countrymen are wrongfully imprisoned and executed (not to mention his father having to stay in hiding because of it) is quite the opposite.

This brings us to his signature catchphrase, which could also be called his motto:

There are a lot of situations where this would be good advice, but in Nahyuta’s case, it’s a convenient excuse for him to give up on dealing with the problems of his past and remain loyal to the whims of Ga’ran.  More specifically, it’s a mask he uses to hide what he feels inside, which we don’t discover until it’s forced out of him: a lack of faith.

Even as someone as who has no trouble believing in the Holy Mother, Lady Kee’ra, and the Twilight Realm, Nahyuta struggles to believe in change, no matter how much his family, his friends, and his nation need it.  And it’s here that we see one of the most beautiful twists in his story -- when it comes to change, his father and surrogate brother have more faith than he does.  It takes some persuasion from Apollo to make him realize it, but it turns out he hasn’t quite given up on righting the wrongs of the past.

Nahyuta’s unwillingness to confiscate his father’s badge is all the proof Apollo needs that his faith in Dhurke’s fight for freedom hasn’t disappeared completely.  After proving this and Dhurke’s innocence, he finally forces Nahyuta to do something few people have the courage to do -- look at his own sins.

Unlike Claude Frollo, Nahyuta managed to turn his focus inward and realize his own imperfection.  It took some push from a close friend for it to happen, but better late than never.  And as it turns out, his faith in Dhurke’s creed was as close to him as his right hand all along -- in fact, it was on it.

Much like with Rayfa’s moment of transformation, Capcom was nice enough to give us a voiceover for this pivotal moment.

Nahyuta’s story in SoJ ends with him beginning a journey down his own path of redemption as he attempts to undo the damage caused by Ga’ran and his obedience to her.  He’s even bold enough to ask for Apollo’s help in continuing Dhurke’s mission of restoring Khura’in’s legal system.

I love character redemption as much as anyone, but one thing I love even more is when a character takes it a step further by joining the same cause they were once fighting against.  Whether it was brought on by the Holy Mother’s will, a love for his family and country, a mixture of the two, or something else, Nahyuta ultimately becomes a changed man.  Transformations like this are a sight to behold, especially knowing how much struggle it takes to get there.

So, religion -- is it good overall, evil overall, or somewhere in between?  That’s a mystery we probably won’t solve here, but Nahyuta and his religious devotion provide an excellent example of both the good and the evil that can come from it.  As both a cliche religious bigot and someone who’s willing to make sacrifices for others, he illustrates the crucial fact that no one is perfect, and that religion doesn’t do much (if anything) to change this, but faith certainly does.

And finally, I have to agree with your analogy of Nahyuta as Apollo’s Edgeworth -- the two of them knew each other from a young age, grew up together, were separated by unfortunate circumstances, and followed very different paths, one being less noble than the other, but eventually undergoing a dramatic change in direction.  It makes me wonder what a spin-off game with Nahyuta as the protagonist would look like.  It might just be interesting...as long as we don’t have to chant that sutra into a microphone.

-The Co-Mod

[isuzukuretsuki]

Alright I finished Crimson Flower and after letting my thoughts marinate for a bit, I decided to do a very long write up on my thoughts. Despite the fact that I made a beeline for black eagles the moment I got the game because I had an extreme feverish passion for El at first, my thoughts on this route are unfortunately mostly negative. This is the first and only route I played so far, and I know very little about the events that transpire in the other routes.

Five thousand disclaimers that these are just my opinions that may or may not change when I play the other routes and it’s not meant to discredit folks who like Crimson Flower. Also there will be spoilers.

For starters, I think the story does a terrible job at convincing you that Edelgard’s actions are justified or even necessary. This route felt less like fighting to change the world for the better and more like a savage conquest with every chapter being El going like “we gotta kill this guy now” and I’m like “but why” and El’s like “WE JUST GOTTA”. I guess the right way to say it is that El’s route lacked emotional impact. I could not celebrate her victories with her because my only reaction was “was that really necessary” and “buddy why”. It ultimately felt like El was simply solving problems by creating more problems.

Instead of just saying “I want to uproot a societal system from its core so I have to overthrow the Church”, the story opts for El to give incredibly vague and wishy washy reasons on why the Church Is Bad. Something something, they’re not really humans and twist history??? The story forces you to do some crazy mental gymnastics to try and see El’s side of the story when everything just boils down to “Crests are Bad = Church is Bad”.

In Part 1, there was a lot of build up of the church’s obvious corruption and how they’re not to be trusted, but the build up falls flat because the story tries to make the reveal of Rhea’s beast form be the damning thing to convince the player that the church is so terrible that they have to be stopped even at the cost of thousands of lives... and well... in a franchise where almost everyone is secretly a dragon, that just did not sell me. 

We’ve been knew that Crests Are Bad but does that justify sacrificing thousands of lives to upheave the church? I dunno man..................................... the story doesn’t really put much effort to convince you that this is the Only Way and it doesn’t feel like El has put much thought into trying alternative solutions before jumping straight to murder because it was the easiest solution. Which sucks because I think exploring El’s methods and mindset would definitely make for an interesting conflict. The whole idea of if war is never justifiable, is it better to let everyone remain suffering under the status quo forever? El’s belief that nothing will change unless she takes direct action has validity to it, but the game just expects you to agree with her from the get go so El never truly has to stand firm and defend her values.

Edelgard’s decision to unify Fodlan is something I really, really side eye. She’s straight up invading sovereign lands and putting them under her own rule of her own volition. While yes, Church Is Bad, barging into someone else’s land uninvited to dictate how they rule their government and “fix their society” is ultimately something I find incredibly self righteous and arrogant. This idea of “fighting for peace” through not just instigating a war, but going on a violent conquest just seems... disingenuous to me? How does she plan on dealing with the lingering resentment from the folks whose land were conquered? She’s just replacing the crest system with an Empire who will murder anyone who stands against them which... makes her literally no different from what Rhea was.

The above point is mainly due to her whole tirade into the alliance which just felt extremely unnecessary, especially when Claude was trying to keep the alliance in a neutral stance. El’s reasoning for conquering the alliance because “some of the nobles oppose me” was really flimsy like... maybe they wouldn’t oppose you if you just left them alone instead of making them choose between handing over their independence or having their land burnt to the ground. 

Her dialogue with and about Dimitri is ridiculous because she criticizes him for being consumed by hatred and obsession and “losing his path as a king” but...... bruh, you’re STILL invading his country, so even if Dimitri wasn’t a raging murder man, he’d still oppose you because did you just expect a king to simply Hand Over His Land and not defend himself????? 

The absolute worst, worst part of CF isn’t even Edelgard herself but how the other students react to her. It feels like none of the beagles and especially the other house characters except Lysithea have any real reason to side with her, and even if they did (which wouldn’t be surprising because we see how the crests ruined so many lives), these valid reasons are never brought up and it’s overshadowed by almost everyone lamenting “is this bloodshed even necessary?” (news flash: probably not). But why the FUCK are you guys even siding with her in the first place if you're gonna regret it afterwards or don’t actually agree with her? You don’t just side with an instigator of war with half baked resolves, and the convictions of these characters aren’t even quarter baked. 

This wouldn’t be too bad if not for the fact that the beagle kids themselves also seem to have more reasons to turn on El than to fight for her. Especially when Edelgard has done nothing to ever prove herself trust worthy. Hell, CF is kicked off with Edelgard betraying everyone and revealing herself to be the Flame Emperor, which is literal admittance to her association with the slithers. Yet no one seems to put two and two together and just decides to blindly trust and follow her without second thought because... why? Who knows!!! As Sothis so eloquently puts it, they’re all boulders just rolling down whatever hill they’re on, and I could not stand how little agency and independent thought that the other characters showed. It felt like El was the driver while everyone else was just strapped into the passenger seat, mindlessly going along with the ride. No questions, no thoughts, no challenges, and to top it off, it doesn’t even feel like any of them truly believe in what they’re fighting for because they never bring up the validity of El’s ideals or the consequences of her actions. 

The beagles had the group dynamic of a wet paper bag. Lysithea is the one of the only characters who actively shows any real agency for fighting for Edelgard and firmly voices how El’s goals compare to her personal values, which is a stark difference to everyone else who has a "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I guess this is my life now” type attitude to an infuriating degree. 

Byleth siding with El also has me doing extreme shifty eyes. I can get behind them making an emotionally charged decision to defend her from Rhea but holy crap I saved you from Rhea because I didn’t want you to die, but that doesn’t mean I’m giving you the okay to murder all your classmates!! The game expects the player to take a huge leap of faith when siding with Edelgard, thinking “she has to have a proper explanation for this” and cue.... no explanation ever, until like... five years later. El’s relationship with the beagles felt disingenuous because she actively breaches the trust of others, lies to others, hides crucial information from others (slithers, anyone?), and nobody cares. She straight up lies about the church nuking Arianrhod and it’s never addressed.

The issue with the slithers and Byleth’s dad is even worse because it is never addressed until well into the route, and it’s brought up by not El, but fucking Hubert. Not to mention El is giant jackass to Byleth after their dad died even though he died because of her damn accomplices. We’re supposed to just lie down and accept the slithers’ presence because “well they’re necessary for our plans” even though we curb stomped the entire continent by ourselves, so I dunno why we can’t just shank them now. The slithers literally did nothing aside from chill around, maybe blow up a city or two to spite El. It’s ridiculous how the organization who is directly responsible for El’s abuse and trauma has no on screen resolution when frankly, I think the slithers deserve El’s animosity far more than the church. 

Despite my extreme criticism towards El, I want to stress that I don’t hate El. In fact, I love her character a lot and I think she’s really fascinating. However, I think CF really shot her characterization in the foot because it doesn’t feel like El really grew or developed or changed. She stubbornly believed that her actions were right at the beginning and by the end of the game, she still believes her actions were right because the story doesn’t really bother to try and prove her otherwise. I just think she’s much more suited as an antagonist, and I’m excited to see her portrayal in the other routes. Sorry El, I love you, but I would never in a million years side with you.

To end this salt fest on a positive note, I will say the route had three things I enjoyed: the ending, Mercedes and Jeritza’s support, and Edelgard and Lysithea’s support. Seriously, I would not have so many complaints if the rest of the route had the same amount of emotional tension and feeling as El and Lysithea’s support. I enjoyed the ending fairly much; the final battle in the burning city was epic as hell and so was the final cutscene. The scene where El sobs in Byleth’s chest after Byleth’s heart beat returns was extremely touching to me. So because I liked the ending enough, at the very least I was able to finish the play through on a somewhat content note. Also random side note but Edelgard’s seiyuu is amazing.

Anyway my order from favourite to least favourite beagle kids are Dorothea > Edelgard > Ferdie > Bernie > Linhardt > Petra > Hubert > Caspar.

tldr: my experience with crimson flower