#extremely specific things polynya loses her mind over

[recurring-polynya]

It is time, once again, friends, for me to watch a Bleach Filler Arc and tell you about it. It is time for the Zanpakutou Rebellion.

I wasn’t really sure I wanted to do this one for a number of reasons, but we watched the second episode last night, and it featured Rukia and Renji fighting back-to-back, and sorry fam, we’re doing this, you’re getting the full force of my zanpakutou spirit headcanons whether you want them or not.

Chrome updated and stopped letting me take screenshots a while ago and I am too lazy to figure out another way, so I figured it would be easier to just illustrate these myself. Let’s see how this goes.

Okay, one thing up front. My attitude towards Bleach filler has always been that it’s just for fun, and it’s up to you, the reader/viewer, whether you want to take any of it as canon or not. I, personally, do not accept this story arc as canon, but I honestly don’t care if you do. My main problem is that I don’t think zanpakutou spirits should be humanoid as a rule, although I do headcanon that most zanpakutou can choose how to manifest themselves, and so they may have a humanoid representation, but that’s not necessarily how they usually appear, which also explains why a lot of the shinigami has trouble recognizing their zanpakutou. I also think Muramasa made Hozukimaru put on that skirt, Hozukimaru has the demeanor of a being who does not believe in pants of any variety.

Anyway, as usual, I am ahead of myself. We starts in a cave that looks exactly like the cave from the Bount arc, with some ominous stuff, but I don’t care, I want to talk about Byakuya! Fighting! Renji!  

I think every filler arc has an OP with Byakuya fighting Renji that never actually happens, but right here! First episode! Byakuya fighting Renji while Squad 6 stands around and jeers! Kyouraku and Ukitake are here, too, for some reason! It’s super lit! Byakuya stops paying attention halfway through, but he wins anyway and negs Renji a little, and Renji thanks him for the fight very earnestly and Kyouraku and Ukitake tell Renji he did a good job. This is honestly all I want out of Bleach filler. This is my happy place. Thank you, Zanpakutou Arc for these beautiful Squad 6 hijinks.

As if I weren’t on a big enough high, now we cut to Squad 10, where Matsumoto is lounging on the Crash Couch. Hinamori and Isane come in to hand-deliver an invtation to a vice-captains meeting (Aren’t they just… like… on Wednesdays?) and to complain about their zanpakutou (boy, I wish we got to see Isane’s zanpakutou in this arc!! But no!!) Matsumoto, once again, claims to be training for bankai, mostly by complaining a lot. Hitsugaya grumps around, grumpily.

All of this is so, so perfect, I just need a trip with Iba to the shinigami pub, but instead, everyone gets a mysterious invitation from the Captain Commander to come to Soukyoku Hill at midnight. Really? I would not go.

Regardless, everyone goes. This scene is great because there are too many characters standing around and this is filler meaning the animators phoned it in, so whenever one character is talking, there are at least three people in the background not moving and making a facial expression that does not go with whatever else is going on. For example, Sasakibe shows up and falls over, and his body is just… there. In the middle of everything. Also, it’s mostly captains and vice-captains, but also Ikkaku and Yumichika and Rukia are there. Someone’s like, “Hey, Ikkaku and Yumichika, why are you here?” and they’re like, “Uh, Zaraki and Yachiru are on a business trip” and then someone else is like “Hey, Rukia, why are you here?” and she just does Big Shrug Arms. This is perfect Big Filler Energy. They are here because we want to see their embodied zanpakutou spirits obviously, why must you demand explanations?

Anyway, Muramasa shows up in hall his Hot Topic glory and waves his scary fingernails and cries blood and announces that all the zanpakutou have rebelled. Then follows a hilarious scene where everyone tries to do their releases and it doesn’t work.

Episode ends/next episode begins.

Ichigo is bouncing around Karakura, like he does, when Rukia falls out of a senkaimon in the sky. (They can make them next to the ground, I don’t know why they never do) Sode no Shirayuki then shows up and it takes Ichigo a phenomenally long amount of time to figure out who she is. To be honest, I would love if this arc went in the direction that Shirayuki has it out for Ichigo for taking Rukia’s powers (Zanpakutou Headcanon #2: Zanpakutou spirits have zero perspective outside of their shinigami being the most important thing in the world to them, and Shirayuki, especially brainwashed Shirayuki, would love to take a piece out of Ichigo. Obvs, they would become best friends after Ichigo defeats her, as is his way).

After being suitable ominous, Shirayuki ollies out, and Ichigo takes Rukia back to the Shoten for Orihime-heals and flashbacks.

Rukia recaps back to Soukyoku Hill, except this time, Renji’s the only one trying fruitlessly to do his release. One reading of this, is that it’s just a recap, we don’t need to see all this again, except that then they cut to Byakuya making the Mariah Carey “I don’t know her face” for like, 10 whole seconds, and it’s sublime.

Anyway, everyone starts fighting, and Ikkaku tries to attack Komamura’s zanpakutou, which is such a colossally bad idea. I am always hoping that they will kill off characters during filler arcs and then have them be inexplicably alive later, like they used to do on Teen Titans GO! and I absolutely would have offed Ikkaku at this point if I were in charge. The zanpakutou spirits start absolutely trashing the Seireitei, mostly setting things on fire and causing ice avalanches, and just generally going bananas. I really wish there had been a montage of someone cutting heads off parking meters and spray painting “Fuck the Central 46” on the side of Squad 1, but no.

We then see Rukia and Renji running around, fighting together, and I ascended. This is all I ever want. Bless this arc. They get attacked by Sasakibe’s Gonryuu (I wish there was a running gag of no one knowing who he is, and maybe there is, later, I don’t remember) and Hisagi’s Kazeshini, who is the best zanpakutou in this whole arc, he is an unhinged Nightcrawler with sick abs and I love him. I don’t remember what happened next, because I was so distracted by my OTP doing Battle Couple, but Byakuya shows up, standing on a tower (dude likes standing on a tall thing almost as much as Rukia does), so of course, we have to do “Nii-sama!” “Taichou!” B L E S S.

Then Senbonzakura shows up, also standing on a tall rooftop, dunh dunh DUNH! It’s too bad that the Fullbringer arc sort of ruins this because the whole time, I was like “just nail him in the safety zone,” and honestly, Byakuya having a “safety zone” is… well, it’s kinda lame when you say it out loud. Anyway, Rukia flips out, and Renji’s like, “no, no, I’m sure he’s fine,” and then they get avalanched by Sode no Shirayuki and that’s all Rukia remembers.

As usual, no one is the least bit concerned for Renji, but honestly, if anyone can survive being repeatedly Senbonzakured and Hakurened, it’s that guy.

There’s a part where Rukia is telling this story and Ichigo puts his hand on his chest, and you can see the little wheels in his head turning, like, “where do I keep my zanpakutou? Is it here? What is the ‘heart’?”

Yoruichi shows up to provide more exposition, as is her Filler Arc duty, and they establish that the rebellion seems to have only gone as far as Soul Society.

Ichigo goes home to sleep in his clothes, but the Mod Souls show up to tell him that Rukia went back to Soul Society in the middle of the night. Man, the Mod Souls are in this arc, W H Y ? ? ?

Urahara agrees to send Ichigo to Soul Society why WHY W H Y would you send the guy with the awesomest and most DNGAF zanpakutou to the place where the zanpakutou are rebelling??? At this point, if I hadn’t seen this before, I would definitely assume that Urahara was behind all of this.

Some other points: Why would you not take Chad and Ishida and Orihime (and Yoruichi, for that matter), people with powers who don’t have zanpakutou? Truly, I tell you, Chad does not mind being woken up for this, and Ishida would love the chance to smugly show up and lecture a bunch of powerless shinigami. Also, if I were in Bleach, you better bet my first reaction to everything would be to ask Orihime to try to reject it, no matter how dumb it sounded. It’s worth a try! I would not go anywhere without Orihime. Orihime is the GOAT. Did we all forget the part in the Bount Arc where she killed some friggin’ ninja? I sure didn’t.

Anyway, that’s it for this time, keep tuning for next episode, where Ichigo will surely have regrets.

[abalonetea]

Hey! Would you mind explaining HEARTs to me please? I've seen you mention it for a while, but I don't know what you mean specifically (I assume it has more meaning than just a regular heart)

ahh, yes! the HEARTs are one of my favorite concepts for the story, and I love talking about them! or just, you know, answering any questions in general! thank you for your interest!

you’re right! it’s got a lot more meaning than just a regular heart. because the two worlds of Fara are technically set inside of video games, they have a lot of things you might see in a video game. for example, characters have access to an inventory that isn’t visible and can carry more supplies than a bag would, they gain EXP and grow stronger as they Level up, though this is a frowned upon practice within the game Fields of Fara.

they also have HEARTs.

in old school fantasy games, like Legend of Zelda, your life was tracked using a heart meter. the concept is the same in Fara. each character has a HEART, and that HEART keeps track of their life.

HP and HEARTs are different from each other, despite the fact that they both track a character’s health. I’ll use Captain as an example, as she has HEART damage within the confines of the story!

say her HP is 3000. every time she’s injured, she loses a little bit of HP. if her HP drops down to zero, she dies. HP can only be affected by physical damage. a mana cana, a spear, a cut, a burn, a hard hit to the head. these can all take away HP.

but

a HEART can be damaged in several ways - a severe physical injury, having a high level, or undergoing an extreme amount of emotional duress. if your HEART takes on too much damage, it will break, and you will go to Game Over.

HEARTs have physical forms! much like an inventory, they’re generally unseen, tucked safe and sound inside of your chest. however, a paladin has the ability to summon a HEART and use healing magic on it.

for the most part, a HEART has the same color as a user’s magic caste. if their magic is primarily fire based, it’s red. if their magic is primarily plant based, it’s green. beast class characters often have HEARTs in neutral colors - browns, tans, and pale golds. elemental have HEARTs in corresponding colors to their elements, occasionally with the same sheen to it. 

for example, Polynya, a water elemental, has a pale blue HEART that appears to be more liquid than solid. in contrast, her girlfriend, Ginia, a plant elemental, has a vibrant green HEART with a texture that looks akin to wood. 

paladin’s are common in Fields of Fara. this means that most everyone has a basic knowledge of HEARTs, how they can be damaged, the importance behind healing them, and what that process is like.

paladin’s and most forms of healing magic are extremely uncommon in Fara Falls. this means that most people don’t know how to summon their HEART, have never had their HEART healed, and don’t have a particularly good grasp on all the intricacies that go into having a damaged HEART.

a damaged HEART can be deadly, but it can also be managed. this is a practice only seen in Fara Falls - where you either manage, or you die. even in this world, it’s far more common to simply achieve Game Over when your HEART is damaged. only the truly strong, and the truly stubborn, can keep their coding together for any length of time.

physical pain can over ride the internal pain. getting rid of excess mana can stop the HEART from becoming too full and damaging itself. taking small pleasantries when you’re able too will help ease the ache.

whenever possible, Captain and Bolte has Terrible Tea together on her front porch, while they watch the waters of the swamp and the bird dragons. they also train with each other very frequently, though the sheer amount of fighting that they do as members of the Royal Guard tends to keep their mana levels in check.

some glitches only affect characters with a damaged HEART. for example:

Highest Level: this glitch happens primarily to those with damaged HEARTs. it can be akin to how a hacked game is more susceptible to glitches than something just bought. this glitch causes the character’s Level to wildly fluctuate.

when a character’s level fluctuates, so does their mana levels, their HP, and their mental stability. the higher your level, the more impulsive you become, often paired with a very short temper and a lot of irritability. as such, having your Level randomly jump from a thirty to seventy can result in an extreme jump in mana - thus putting the HEART in danger.

Physical: when a character suffers from a severe physical wound, often times the same injury is reflected in the HEART. for example, when Captain is severely wounded during the first arc, it’s through an extremely deep gash that runs from shoulder to hip. this gash is reflected in physical from on her HEART, running from left top to the edge.

High Level: excessive amounts of mana damage the HEART. this means that the higher your Level, the more damage your HEART takes. EXP Grinders in Fara Falls often inadvertently cause their own death by gaining too much mana too quickly.

Emotional Duress: a HEART can be injured due to extreme emotional duress. constant stress wears away at the HEART, much like it does your immune system. in Fara Falls, this act is called HEARTbreak, and is one of the most common “natural” ways to die.

HEARTs can scar, bleed, and calcify. if a HEART becomes completely, or mostly, calcified, the stone on the outside must be broken before the injury beneath can be healed. this act is extremely painful, and should only be done by someone that you trust.

in the case that a HEART injury acts up, physical ailments will start to appear. nausea, migraines, shaking hands, short tempers, your level becoming visible without a Check, aches and pains, fevers, increased appetite, and insomnia.

Captain and Bolte have both sustained repeated injuries to their HEART before the story begins, which they have been treating themselves, without magic. these treatments are only temporary fixes. outside of each other, no one else is aware of their predicaments.

if you, or anyone else, has any other questions about HEARTs that i might not have thought to explain here, please feel free to ask! or questions about anything, really. thank you so much for this one! c: