#this is a fic I'd love to write but I'm afraid everyone would hate it

[snarky-magpie]

Okay but imagine that James and Regulus meet and fall in love. They date for a time, but Regulus has a terminal illness. When he dies, he leaves James several letters that bring him to places that played an important role in their relationship so he can heal. And then in the last letter, he tasks James with bringing it to his estranged brother (because despite parting on bad terms and not being in touch, Regulus hopes his brother will provide James with the support he will surely need).

When James delivers the letter, Sirius opens the door, surprised, but he invites James in. They reminisce about Regulus and for the first time in months, James feels lighter. Maybe because Sirius reminds him so much of the man he loved.

James and Sirius begin spending time together. They go on hikes, hang out in pubs, take rides on Sirius' bike.

And slowly but surely, James falls in love.

And he can’t tell if he fell in love with Sirius, or with the echo of Regulus he can see in him.

(Cue angst.)

(This fandom is really missing out by not doing jegulus x prongsfoot angst.)

[buckysgrace]

can you write a fight and make up fic with gator? what if gator and reader got into a big fight and it’s only when he starts making reader cry that he stops, takes a step back and then make up?

i love your fics and your writing 💕

Thank you so much!! I hope you enjoy!

Gator had a jealousy issue. Sometimes it was cute, sexy even. He'd kiss up your neck and hold your waist. Keep you attached to his side and make you tremble underneath him in the following hours.

But sometimes it was irritating. You both knew that deep down he was being irrational; that he only acted out because he had some deep fear about you leaving him. Just like everyone else did. And sometimes it didn't matter what you did, he'd still accuse you of running around. It was hurtful, damaging.

"Who was he?" He repeated, tone laced with angry as he asked the same question over again. You were tired of it. The fighting, the accusations. All of it.

"I don't know," You sighed in frustration, rubbing at the bridge of your nose, "I already told you this." You reminded him, feeling like he was being ridiculous.

"You two seemed friendly." He said as he leaned against the table, looking down at you with fire in his eyes.

"It's my job to smile at people," You frowned, unsure of what else you were supposed to say, "I was just being nice. Friendly. That's it." You pleaded with him, your shoulders sagging at the way he scoffed. You had looked forward to coming home all day, but this had not been what you were expecting.

"He give you a big tip? Give you his number?" He continued to ramble on, his hair messy as he ran his fingers through his thick strands again.

"Christ," You covered your mouth, feeling the walls breaking down as the tears fell from your eyes, "Do you really think that low of me?" You asked him seriously, wondering where he had even gotten that idea. You were always loyal to him. Always.

Your shoulders shook as you sobbed, covering your face with your hands. You didn't mean to cry, but you were tired. And you hated your job on top of that. You didn't want something so dumb to come between the two of you.

He gently tugged your hands away from your face, making you sniffle as his lips fell against your knuckles. You exhaled roughly, blinking in confusion as you stared down at him.

"No. God no," He sighed as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close so he could kiss the top of your head, "Of course I don't think that."

"Then why would you suggest such a thing?" You felt angry as you turned towards him, trying to at least feel satisfied with the guilt that was written across his expression.

"Because I'm a moron," He sighed as he rested his forehead against yours, "I care for you. And I know you can do better. I'm just afraid you will." He breathed out softly, nose brushing against yours oh so gently.

"Stop saying that, first of all," You replied sternly as you gripped his chin, "I want to be with you for a reason. Don't forget that." You told him seriously, shaking your head at his thought process. You'd never wanted anyone else. Ever.

"Mhm." He nodded in agreement, looking embarrassed from his outburst. He brushed his palms across your shoulders, holding you tightly.

"And," You smiled as you brushed your lips across his, "Stop accusing me of things I'd never do. I love you. Only you. Not some ugly guy whose name I don't know." You told him with a little laugh, watching the way his lips twitched softly.

"Was he really ugly?" He asked a second later, brown eyes flickering as he turned his gaze towards yours again.

"Hideous," You teased as you held onto him, enjoying his warmth as he pulled you closer on his lap, "His hair was nowhere as nice as yours either." You hummed as you brushed your fingers through his hair, hoping this would be a turning point. You didn't want to keep doing this with him.

"Funny," He smiled as he looked at you, "I'm sorry. I really didn't want you to cry. I feel like a jerk." He told you seriously, resting his chin against your skin. You could tell that he meant it. He didn't apologize much and the regret was written across his features.

"Sometimes you are," You shrugged your shoulders gently, "But most of the time you aren't." You told him gently, smiling as you pressed your lips to his.

[i-am-creacheur]

okay listen. I get the urge to talk about my favorite life series ship like it's Canon in every season...BUT. THAT HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN THE CASE.

Yes, Jimmy would be upset if Tango canaried (technical scientific term for that). Everyone would be- even I would be, and I've never watched a single one of his videos. Canarying sucks, and it hurts. Of course I would be upset. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I THINK JIMMY WOULD BREAK DOWN SOBBING FROM A CHARACTER STAND POINT. They have had only like... THREE on screen interactions. One is Tango murdering a man infront of Jimmy and another is Tango cheerfully burning down something one of Jimmy's teammates worked very hard on. WildLifeChara!Jimmy has more reason to hate or be afraid of WildLifeChara!Tango than to be madly in love with him.

I promise you, if Tango had offered Jimmy a life instead of Ren, people wouldn't shut up about for MONTHS. But, because it's Ren, somehow the interaction isn't NEARLY as homoerotic??? I understand having NOTP's, but the Jimmy/Ren ship doesn't even show up ONCE on ao3. Zero fics. ZE-RO. There's no reason to hate something that doesn't even exist.

This same concept applies for Flower Husbands as well- not just in Wild Life, and Secret Life and Limited Life and Last Life and Real Life though- in Empires.

I have no clue about Empires Season 1, but they barely interacted in Empires Season 2- and yet the amount of ship art I sift through on a weekly basis for my side blog is actually insane. Yeah, the few interactions WERE important, but I think Scott only flirted (in video) with Jimmy maaybbeeee three times. I have no idea what the count of that for streaming is, but I swear it is not enough to keep that number so inflated.

Although, honestly, this problem might just be affecting me because of my personal view on shipping- if it's in a context where it doesn't make sense for the characters to be romantically engaged, I won't read it or write it.

For example, my beloved Solidwood! I mostly get their vibes or read their fics from the following series: Evo, Last Life, New Life, Empires2, Secret Life. That's because those settings make sense! They are active, they are engaged, they have near constant interactions or very close base locations. It makes SENSE for them to be shipped. However, if you showed me art or fic of them in, say, Limited Life, I'd furrow my brow and tilt my head and say "no, that doesn't do anything for me." BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO REASON TO BE INVESTED ROMANTICALLY IN ONE ANOTHER THERE, AS A STAND ALONE SETTING.

Most of the major Jimmy ships, though, don't follow this rule. I can understand loving a ship so much you want to see it everywhere- but, I promise you, stepping back and looking at which characters actually have chemistry regarding the new setting and social system will do wonders... you won't have to think of new Au's to insert your favorite ship into a new setting... all ships will be your favorite ship (unless they give you the ick). Join the multishiper hivemind /j

No but honestly it's gotten to the point where I will like or dislike a creator/character of theirs by what ship is their most popular given the context of the setting. Like, Tango in Double Life? Awww the sweetie!! I love him :) and then Tango in Empires2 sets off alarm bells in my brain screaming at me. He is NOT meant to be here bringing that ship here, this is NOT its territory. Same problem for Scott in nearly damn near every SMP both Jimmy and him are in... except Wild Life because he's actually been pretty nice and not condescending or forcing on Jimmy. I guess also power imbalances in how fans view them is a major no-go for me...

Idk if you read this whole thing thanks I guess... for anymore needed context I am a Jimmy rarepair obsessed multishiper.

TLDR; Lots of popular ships are inserted into settings without a thought for what that would mean for the setting and any changes in the established social connections, which gives OP the ick. I'm also not policing ships I'm just begging people to please either understand more ships using in setting context or list their AU details in the summaries of the fics. This goes hand in hand with misinterpreting characters in writing also... the more ships you like the more characters you will get to get good at writing!!!!

[21aurora]

Hiii! So I saw your eunhyeok post and loved it! (This is my first time requesting btw) I was wondering if you could write a fic of eunhyeok having a crush on reader except he’s very shy

My secret crush | go eunhyeok

Eunhyeok pov:

I like y/n for a long time. We are friends but not close. Every time I try to get close to her, confess to her, or ask her to go out on a date, something stops me, I stay in my place, I can't move , and all I do is watching her and smile like an idiot .

I even knew everything about her, her birthday, her close friends, everything she likes and everything she hates, and her favorite drink is chocolate milk. Sometimes I buy it for her and I can't give it to her and back off .

even on her previous birthday, I bought her a gift and I didn't give it to her. I think about her a lot, as if she is controlling me, but I really can't take any step, I'm afraid of rejecting me, and this is not because I don't have self-confidence, on the contrary, but I'm afraid that she likes someone else and when I confess I lose her forever .

Her features are very cute that makes me just want to hug her, and her personality is simple, gentle and kind with everyone, she cares about everyone around her, brave and smart, even her small flaws I love them , her mess and spontaneity sometimes.

while I am immersed in thinking while I am walking in the school corridor I noticed her presence in the music room , She plays the piano, I kept watching her from the outside as usual, until I found that she could not make a certain tune, despite my hesitation, I decided to help her .

" H ... Hey y/n do you need help?" I said after approaching her.. " Hey Eunhyeok, yes please, I'm playing this note but I don't know what I do wrong "

" Let me see. " I sat down next to her in front of the piano, and she shifted a little to sit make space to me to ." Which part exactly do you mean?" She told me which part she meant . “Well, start from the beginning and I will see what do you do wrong.”

She started to play, her playing was not bad, on the contrary, I enjoyed it, I focused with her hand to see what she was doing wrong, and when she reached the required part, I moved closer to her and held her hand and put my fingers on top of her fingers on the piano in order to guide her, she smells like lavender, I wished I could stay this close for a longer period But the presto ended after about a minute. And she kept repeating it until she knows how to play it. Her playing was beautiful, but her eyes were more beautiful as she smiled and thanked me for her help.

" Thank you Eunhyeok, I don't know how to return the favor " " you are really cute "

When I heard her say that, my face almost exploded from the heat, I could hear my heartbeat, I couldn't believe she saw me like that, "You're cute too y/n " And I found that this was the perfect time to ask her for a date, if I missed this opportunity I wouldn't be able to Do it later .

I collect my courage and looked to her eyes and said to her" W ..Would you mind going out on a date with me? " ..

She looked at me with an expression that was unreadable to me as if she was trying to comprehend what just happened. After a few moments of silence, I felt embarrassed and said, "If you don't want to, consider that I didn't say anything." I stood up and hurried to leave, “No, no, wait, Eunhyeok.” She held my hand and looked at her.

" I'd love to " " I just was surprised that you like me too "

I felt as if my heart was going to fly out of my chest from the feelings that hit me now, and trying to realize that the person she had a crush on was me.

I smiled and didn't say anything and she also kept like this for a few moments looking at each other, until I found her standing on her tiptoes and kissing me on my cheek and ran outside, I touched my face where she kissed me, and I stayed in my place, smiling and blushing.

[katakosmos]

i love your evan SO MUCH. in my mind he’s become his own fun little destructive entity and i need him. badly. i do fear he may be a gym bro…which brings me to my question. what are the gang doing at the olympics (basically, which of them is stephen and which of them is the muffin man. and why.) LOVE!

thank you 🥰 i love my evan too 🥰 probably cause i know he could destroy me 🥰

(yes he'd be a gym bro)

btw. there are too many sports in the olympics for me to even remotely know what they consist of, so i won't get into things that are too strange (and so i don't know if i'll be able to give all the characters a sport 😭)

james for me is a world pole vault champion. i think the reason he loves quidditch is because he loves flying, not kicking a ball into three circles. so no football for him. in a fic that i started writing (but, obviously, never finished) lily and james met on an athletics field cause lily practiced hammer throw. in a domestic context, james would reach high shelves while lily assembles furniture and lifts the sofa when james loses something underneath it. they go to the olympics together and kiss from the stands.

(honorable mention to that french guy who knocked over the pole with his dick. james coded.)

sirius fencing makes sense, and he's so good at it that you can't take your eyes off him. sirius' fencing is a declaration of love, it hypnotizes you, it moves you. it's not an equal fight: there's no chance, he has to win because he brings fencing to a poetic and emotional level. he plays a whole different sport

...but i think he'd hate sweating under his mask and getting his hair greasy. LMAO.

peter fits in rugby but personally i think he would slay in a gymnastics competition: he does perfect floor routines. before a competition he needs silence and concentration, so he side-eyes anyone who speaks to him. he's so scary that everyone's afraid of him.

dorcas practices martial arts, and i can see her doing kung fu, which is very choreographic and acrobatic. but unfortunately, kung fu is not in the olympics and therefore... she would probably do gymnastics too. but mhmmmmm, it's not really her vibe.

mary runs. no questions and no explanations. and she wins the gold medal with thick eyelashes and a 5cm long set of nails. she can also run on heels. this woman is not to be underestimated.

barty is a shooter. and he absolutely loves to terrify people by saying he has a gun. he's precise, he has a lot of fun and he thinks his professional glasses are very, very cool. buttt, when he doesn't have a clear advantage he gets angry and starts losing, so he never won a medal. he's famous for his little smirk every time he hits the bullseye, and people think he's very hot.

marlene would either do the best known sport in the world (football) or the most unknown one (underwater hockey). so let's put them together: water polo. if i'm honest though marlene doesn't have a personality in my head so i don't know 😭

pandora maybe diving? she's very good at it but she always comes second behind the chinese athlete, and this makes her furious. she smiles at her friendly when in reality she wants to drown her.

now remus, regulus and evan... but i think regulus would compete in figure ice skating (he is very graceful but also sharp and fast), and evan would be a hockey player (for obvious reasons), but these are winter olympics' sports.

remus on the other hand, i have no idea what sport he could do. i'd love to see him play tennis, but it's too tiring. he wants something messy, fast and where he doesn't have to move too much. if there was a sport like this he'd be world champion, but he's probably still looking for it. for now he has to settle for long jump (james forced him to try but he hates it).

now... i have a personal beef with tiktok because of that american guy like tell me if you hate me ok. but stephen is 100000% xenophilius like: he sleeps for all the competition, completely unaware of what anxiety is, then he wakes up to do just one thing and does it perfectly. this is xeno right here.

but i have no idea which of them could be the muffin man.

[zanarkandfayth]

Would love to read your answers to questions 3, 9, 13, 17, 18, 26, 29, 31, 32, 50, and, if there's another number (or several) you really wanna answer, please add those too ✨

thank you for the ask!! <33 I wrote you novels in return gjdskglj

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

oooh this one is so hard because I love most of my fics for different reasons, even my older ones (at least the ones on ao3. we ignore the ones left behind on ffnet lmao). hhhh, of completed ones that are posted, imma have to say monsters honestly, because damn did I put some heart into that. but the one I'd probably consider absolute best is the still ongoing, not yet posted 600K+ beast of a fic I usually refer to as "nanofic" that I've been working on since 2019. it won't be everyone's cup of tea, but it just gets so deep into noct's trauma that I inflict on him and his slow recovery from it, more than I've done for any other fic, and I've poured so much blood sweat and tears into that thing, it's kinda everything to me.

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

written, no. been tempted to in the past, but it was too much effort and I already had too many fics for my main fandoms. I have read fandom blind for both harry potter and supernatural in the past though, like lates 2000s into mid 2010s. both were kinda on accident. supernatural in particular is because it kept getting crossed over with MULTIPLE of my fandoms. psych, house md, and criminal minds. so I started reading non-crossover supernatural fics in self-defense gsdklgjdks

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

I mean… this is the first paragraph of one of my fics from my first fandom when I was fifteen. you tell me 😂

"Relena smiled as she sipped her tea and mentally reviewed the day's schedule. 8:00 am- peace talk to the world. 10:00 am- conference with Romefeller. 1:00 pm- try to convince Dorothy to become a pacifist because she was to stupid to understand that Dorothy loved war. Rest of the day- annoy the HELL out of Heero Yuy. Smiling happily again (PLEASE! Her smile is SO annoying), she stood up and was just about to take a step when …. suddenly a freak falling cow killed her!!! =^.^= The gundam boys all burst out of closets around the room and rejoiced."

the biggest change is probably that I actually write well now lmao. and don't character bash. and don't throw author's notes and emoticons in the middle of fics, and have learned to format better, and, and…

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

oh god. let me hide before I answer this. hands down, it's shadows growing. like let me be clear, it's not bad by any means. I'm still fond of it. but I did not have a clear plan when I started writing it, and I really feel like that shows. it was not meant to be a fix-it fic. it was not meant to be a longer fic. it was not meant to be much of anything, tbh. I saw the prompt on the kink meme and the prologue literally started writing itself in my head and I was like "nah idk what I'd do with that" and I scrolled past, but I couldn't focus on reading other prompts and so I went back and just started typing the fic in a reply to the prompt. honestly I figured I'd write whatever I could and then when I left it unfinished, no one would know because I was anon and I had like one fic posted on ao3 for ffxv at the time and I was used to being a complete fandom nobody. the fact that shadows growing got me even somewhat noticed was unexpected and I was not prepared gdjskgjdskl

it definitely affected the fic because once the readers started picking up it made me feel suuuuper stressed and I was so afraid to stray too far from canon because I thought people would hate that??? for some reason??? no there's logic there. I was just overwhelmed. and I do get why people love it, because the whump and the friendship between the boys is really good. but I cannot help but look at it and remember how out of my depth I felt at the time and wish that I had been brave enough to diverge more from canon and smart enough to come up with a better ending. I still suspect there were quite a few people who felt let down by the ending and that's fair honestly. anyways, yeah, it's a good fic and I'm fond of it and most of the attention and the recs it got were in the first couple years of the game being out and I don't begrudge it being my most popular fic, I just. have better ones now I feel like gjsdgjskgsj but maybe not ones as many people would want to read. which is fine with me tbh.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

the gladio oneshot in my "fayth's daddy issues week" series! (I wrote all those fics so back to back that I can't remember the titles for any of them whoops.) I adore that fic and it got so little attention compared to most of the other fics in that week, or my fics overall tbh. the only one that got even less was the one about iris 🤣 but I don't care much for the iris one either, even though I think it has some stellar banter between the boys and cute/funny prompto/gladio moments. I really love the gladio one though, because it was fun to revisit gladio's pov in a fic and I got to develop a bit of backstory for him that's been evolving into headcanon and there's a good chunk of ignis and gladio friendship that was the precursor to all their friendship in monsters, plus I got to make gladio cry, so. I love it <3

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

characterisation, for sure. it's the one thing I agonise over and actually worry about what readers might think at times, especially as I get further away from having played the game to keep it fresh in my mind. so anyone commenting that it feels right makes me roll around on my bed in glee. the other aspect I equally enjoy is people commenting on the emotions. like, that the ones I wrote the characters having feel real/deep, that it made the reader feel them too, etc. stuff like that. cos the emotions are literally why I write fic lol.

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

I am dumb and am struggling to understand what this question is asking, tbh. is it like, do I write for as many fandoms as I read, or something? because fuck no in that case, haha. the only fandoms I've done major writing for (more than one or two fics) are gundam wing, digimon adventure, final fantasy x, and final fantasy xv. and I've read for something like 100 fandoms, idk. at one point I had a list but I stopped keeping track eventually.

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

well… I didn't really understand the concept of characterisation for fanfic until a little before I started writing for ffx. so uh, it's kinda non-existent in my gdw and digimon fics. but once I actively started trying for it… honestly maybe just yuna from final fantsy x. I had some things featuring her meant to be longer fics that were set during the game (most of my posted stuff is set pre-canon, with no yuna in sight) but I never finished and/or posted them because I always felt shaky on yuna's characterisation. I don't think I've majorly struggled with anyone in ffxv to the point that I've felt too dissatisfied with characterisation to post. but at the same time I'm sure none of them are actually perfectly right xD but they FEEL more or less right to me, which is all I care about.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

noct. I mean. he's my blorbo for a reason xD my beloved, I relate to him so much and the rest of it I just project lololol. I make a point to not actually just write myself as noct, cos I personally ain't about that, but it feels very easy to write him without needing to think too deeply about his thoughts/feelings/reactions most of the time. they feel instinctual to me, even when it's something that would differ from my own thoughts/feelings/reactions if I was in a similar situation.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

YES and the answer to this question is one of the reasons antis/purity culture upsets me so fucking much. it's a personal/sensitive answer though so skip if you don't want to read that xD but. reading rape/sexual abuse & aftermath fics as a teenager is what helped me to understand that, even though there was no outright rape happening, I was still being abused. seeing my favourite characters have the courage to tell someone about their abuse and get help is what encouraged me to tell one of my friends during an AIM conversation late one night when I was sixteen, and she convinced me to tell my therapist at my next appointment, who then told my mom, and yeah let's just say that was a very significant and eventually positive impact (it was a rocky road) on my life. if none of that had happened I genuinely think the CSA would have continued escalating into eventual rape. so thank FUCK for fanfic and I seethe with rage every time some shitfuck anti tries to claim there's no good to be found in such fics. plus in general it just helps with my mental health and I've made plenty of friends through fic over the years, even if they come and go I'm still grateful to have known them for that time, and writing fic is the one thing that gives life any meaning for me, etc. so yeah I'd say at least 99% positive.

and now, I will add a few to answer, because you said I could lmao

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

it is a toss-up between horizon road, an ffx fic featuring a toxic, fucked up relationship between tidus and auron that I still really love, or endless skies, a really self-indulgent digimon fic. they're both old at this point, horizon road I started in 2005, and endless skies was in 2016. horizon road suffers from me having no solid ideas for it beyond the three chapters I wrote, and endless skies is painfully fully outlined, but it was such a hard, research-intensive fic to write for a number of reasons, and now looking at it also just reminds me of an ex-friend who I feel very negative towards (because I talked to them a lot while plotting/writing and they even wrote some of the smut scenes for me, though I've since removed those) and even if I wasn't still deeply entrenched in ffxv, I don't think I could bring myself to ever work on it again :/ which sucks because I did adore it very much.

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

…okay, I think anyone who has read shadows growing and then has also read or even looked at my ignoct fics knows that the ignoct is very much present in shadows growing gjdskgjsk as much as I will swear up and down it's platonic, and people certainly can take it that way if they want, like. come on. it's there. at a point, it very much was intentional. BUT. it did start out accidental. the og prompt asked for either gen or OT4 and I don't ship OT4 so I was gonna do gen but noct and ignis kept blurring the lines when I started writing scenes with them gdsjkgdjkl aaaaand actually I didn't start monsters with the intention of it being ignoct either. (the ignoct bits in the first chapter I actually added in a rewrite of that chapter lmao.) nor the tiny little epilogue in heavy is the burden that nudges into hinting at ignoct territory. fuck, even the ignoct in my very first ffxv wasn't meant to be so overt as it was gjdsklgjks there's also tiny hints of it in some of my fayth's daddy issues week fics (not counting the one that's deliberately and stated to be ignoct).

…actually now that I'm writing this I'm realising very little of my ignoct has been deliberately planned at the start 😂 the sequel to shadows growing, grey skies, was planned, at least xD the promptio that shows up towards the end of the fic was an accident though gjsdkgljslk it just. happened??? I didn't even LIKE promptio when I started writing that fic. huh. maybe accidental shipping is just my thing in writing ffxv fics.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

wanted to answer this one, because, I'm NOT talking in terms of other people here. I don't mean to sound dismissive or ungrateful, because I do appreciate the people who read my fics, it makes me happy, but like. it's not why I write OR post. I'm not "producing content" for people; if someone is unhappy with me for not posting more fics, that's their problem. but in terms of myself… yeah, I do wish I had more to post. not because I feel like I've got some kind of arbitrary quota to meet. like, quite frankly, I have over a million words of fic posted on ao3, and given that I have a single unposted fic that's over 600K alone, I'm positive I have at least 2mil total words written. it's just that I wish I could write more consistently/frequently? I feel like I never write as much as I want to, and I know a lot of it is because of my worsening health, so maybe that's why I just feel so frustrated and dissatisfied with my output, but man, sometimes I look at my number of posted works on ao3 and feel like it's such a low number for how long I've been writing ): both for ffxv specifically and for all my fics total. I know it's silly, but the feeling persists nonetheless.

thank you again for the ask!! I feel happy getting to answer questions and ramble about my fics :D and it was really fun to think about my answers and realise a thing or two haha.

[aintgonnatakethis]

twenty questions for fic writers

Tagged by @bagheerita ❤️️

How many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 208,847

What fandoms do you write for? Stargate Universe mainly, though I've also tried out Stargate Atlantis and James Bond.

Top five fics by kudos: what do pretty monsters dream of? (SGA, Sheppard/Todd) down here they call us animals (SGU, Rush/Young, vamp AU) Valentine's Day (James Bond, asexual Bond) Consultancy Opportunity (SGU, Rush/Telford, PWP) Good Things Come In Threes (SGU, Rush/Young/Telford, P-with-P)

Do you respond to comments? Yes, every one. I know how anxiety-inducing it can be to leave a comment, so I really want to put the effort in to respond. It might take me a few days, as per the anxiety, but there's nothing I love more than discussing my fics!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? so i bite my tongue and hope for blood (warning for non-con) Rush is drugged and does things to Telford. Telford understandably reacts poorly. No working through the trauma here - just trauma.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hmm, looking through my fics I guess I'm not a happy endings kind of guy. 😂 Think the best I can do is Valentine's Day, with Q worrying for a lot of it that Bond is sexually pursuing him only for things to end up firmly in the asexual category with cuddling and talking and petting cats.

Do you get hate on fics? Nah, everyone's pretty chill. Though of course I'm not involved in any large fandoms and that's where the more aggressive people tend to end up.

Do you write smut? Hell yeah I do! When I started posting to A03 near the end of 2022 it was the majority of what I wrote. Recently I've not really been feeling it - ever since I really had to force things so I'd be able to finish the 10k final chapter of the threesome fic - so I've been writing other stuff. I'm sure the smut will reactivate at some point.

Craziest crossover: I've never written any, and I'm afraid I'm not a fan of crossovers at all. 😂

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nah, not to my knowledge. Though I guess with AI scrapers you never know these days.

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, though of course I'd give my permission for it.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nothing posted to AO3. Back in the day I RPed Doctor Who smut and stuck it on FFnet, and got a warning slapped on my account for it. 👎

All time favourite ship? Young/Telford/Rush, either all together in a threesome, or paired off in any possible permutation. These three guys are the revolving door of my brain.

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I haven't worked on Your Own Worst Enemy for a long while, a fic where Rush, Young, Telford, and Destiny are all recovering from different forms of sexual assault. Though I'm really pleased with what I've got so far, I'm not sure where the plot goes next and I want to handle the subject matter with care. I think it's the kind of fic I have to complete before I start posting.

What are your writing strengths? I really enjoy taking a character and changing their sexuality to all the possible options to explore the possibilities. I've been told I do this while still remaining in character because I do the work to get there instead of just slapping a label on. For example, I've written fics where Telford is straight, bi, gay, aromantic, and am currently working on one where he's asexual. I love seeing what shapes I can bend characters into while still remaining true to canon.

What are your writing weaknesses? I see writeblrs talking about doing big cuts in their editing process, trimming off thousands of words at a time! While I understand why, cutting a scene I've worked hard on is something I can rarely bring myself to do.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think my knee jerk response would be to say yes, but don't overdo it. Even if the translations are readily available (found this skin which works for both desktop and mobile users and uses HTML instead of making the author fiddle around with editing the workskin for each individual translation) having to move to hover/click can take the reader out of the story if it's done to an extreme degree.

First fandom you wrote in? Doctor Who, in... 2007 I want to say.

Favourite fic you’ve written? down here they call us animals is the first one that springs to mind, as it was such a massive sense of accomplishment to finish a long project, and making my own vampire lore and history was really enjoyable. I have to give a mention to a memory, a distant echo (warning for memories of non-con) as well though. I feel like I crafted that with my bare hands from clay, you know? Telford's trauma... I could wax fucking poetic about it for days.

No pressure tagging: @fortunatetragedy @frostysfrenzy @wolgerrswraith @frostedlemonwriter @galadhir + open to anyone who wants a go!

[ameliagiovanna0]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you @sisterofficerlucychen ilu 💕

How many works do you have on Ao3?

13

2. What is your total Ao3 word count?

22,129

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The Rookie and Chicago PD

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

Feel Your Kiss On Me

I Kinda Might Sorta Like Love You A Little Bit

When I Taste Tequila

Forever Feels Like This

5. Do you respond to comments?

I definitely try to. I used to be a lot better about it. But I absolutely read every single one

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't think any of them? I don't really do angst 😅 If I had to pick, I'd say Giants simply because the ✨situation ✨wasn't resolved

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls) is hella fluffy and it just has happy vibes. The ending for You Guys Got Married is just warm and fuzzy for me because I wrote it exactly how I wanted it to happen on screen

8. Do you get hate on fics?

nope! I've never gotten any negative comments. Everyone has been so kind 🥰

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I've tried, but I'm very bad at it lol. I've definitely written my fair share of allusions to something more spicy, but that's about it. I'd love to give it a better shot one of these days

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no, it's not really my thing. I'm not really a huge fan of reading them either

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I once had a scene stolen almost word for word, but not an entire fic. I hasn't thrilled about it, but I chose to take it to mean that I did well writing the scene 😂

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

no, but that would be pretty cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really. @lady-rhaesnow beta read You Guys Got Married and offered some suggestions after I pestered her lol. I would love to cowrite something. I'm going to quote Ivy and say holler at me if you want to 😁

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Upstead was the reason I joined tumblr and started writing fics to begin with, and they'll always be my first love. Booth and Brennan were my first ever ship, so they hold a special place in my heart. However, Chenford has my whole heart at the moment ☺

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I Guess I'm Still Learnin' (How To Talk To Girls)

I've been working on a third chapter off and on for months. I just can't figure out how to make it work the way I want it to. I just don't have the inspiration for it

16. What are your writing strengths?

Emotions, I guess? I think I'm pretty good at writing how a character feels and how their emotions affect them

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptors. I suck at describing body language and movement

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've done a sentence or two, but that's it. I took four years of French in high school, and when someone says "it gets lost in translation," they're definitely right. I used Google Translate for those few sentences, and Google Translate sucks are nuances, so I'm afraid that I wouldn't get my point across properly. If I knew the language better, I'd be all for it

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Chicago PD, specifically Upstead ☺

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

DON'T MAKE ME PICK BETWEEN MY BABIES I'm going to say Feel Your Kiss On Me or When I Taste Tequila. Idk I just really like them. I feel like they're really true to the characters, and I love the fluff and humor in them

Tagging @sylvies-chen @headlightsatmidnight @silverskull @fighterkimburgess @justmypartner no pressure 💕

[theflyingfeeling]

...😵

tl;dr: I want to open fic requests for December but I'm scared 🤧

~

ugh I always feel so self-conscious about talking about my fics because I feel like I'm always talking about (my) fics or (my) fic ideas, and the mean part of my brain is constantly trying to convince me that everyone is sick of that already and think I'm an attention seeker (which I swear I'm not 😭 having said that, I want to clarify that I'm not implying I think anyone who talks about their fics is an attention seeker! it's more about me expecting everyone to hate me specifically for constantly talking about mine 🤡)

in addition, I'm scared of everyone getting bored of all the Olli/Allu talk on my blog as well (apart from the lovely people who send me Olli/Allu related asks almost daily, I love you all so much 🥺💕) and that people think I'm incapable of talking about anything else (which is not the case, even if I do spend a worryingly lot of time thinking about these two nerds 😂)

oof, so now that I've gotten all that mandatory self-depracating talk out of the way: I really want to try and create an Olli/Allu prompt fic challenge for myself for December 😭

yes I knooooowwww there are already at least two fandom events for December and I could just participate in those and I'm sorry for being greedy and attention-seeky but...I kinda want to make my own 🥺 because I'd like to make it prompt-based, because I think that would be fun 🥺 a word-prompt maybe, or a situation-prompt, perhaps from a list of prompts I've compiled myself to make sure I can handle it, because I'm still traumatized by how horribly I failed with the super adorable Valentine's Day prompts last winter, because my brain just wasn't braining the way I needed it to brain 😭 for this reason I'm also considering just coming up with my own prompts, because I swear I could come up with 24 different fic ideas in one sitting with little to no problem, but on the other hand, getting requests is also super fun... 😩

also, if I was to open requests, I feel like I'd have to do more than Olli/Allu, because I understand it's not everyone's OTP (actually I don't but you do you lol (jk)), and I do want to write other pairings as well, but some pairings inspire me more than others, and recently I've felt like I've been inspired by Olli/Allu only, and maybe Joel/Joonas occasionally

another two-bladed issue is that while I feel like requests would perhaps make me more motivated to write, there's also a very likely chance they might start to feel like a chore, because when I'm not motivated, I simply can't force myself to write for the sake of fulfilling a request 🥲 that's just not how I work, no matter how much I wish I could. and I absolutely don't want to go through all the guilt and crying buckets for not fulfilling requests like I did earlier this year. I know I'm not quite as miserable now as I was then, so maybe I could bribe my brain to brain the way I need it to brain this time around, but the risk I'd be taking is just too terrifying 😭

so anyone who writes a ton of fics on request: you guys are my fucking heroes and I don't understand how you do it, can you spare a tip or two for a poor brainless fic-writer who's only able to write when the stars are in the exact right position? 🥺 and no, saying stuff like "you don't have to fulfil every request you get, that's completely alright and your readers will understand" will NOT do, because hellooooooooo of course I'll feel unnecessarily guilty about not fulfilling prompts even if there's no good reason for me to do so, don't you know me at all?! 😭😭😭😭😭 of course I know that my sweet, amazing, loving, world-deserving readers will be unreasonably understanding and not hold it against me if I did end up failing to fulfil their requests, but I'd still feel terrible about it, and there's nothing anyone could say or do about it I'm afraid 🤧

(I'd also be more than happy to collaborate with other content-creators for this but 1) there are already two fandom events for December, 2) I'm sort of only interested in writing Olli/Allu myself and making the whole challenge just about them would seem a tad circle-jerky and I'd hate to exclude anyone, and 3) not enough braincells to carry out a whole entire fandom event by myself)

so if anyone has any suggestions or ideas or tips regarding what kind of (perhaps) prompt-based fic challenge I could do without scaring myself shitless, I'd like to hear from you, totally alright if not though < feel free to ignore I promise I understand 🥺

[error-dream-was-found]

20 Questions For Writers

I was tagged by @bleue-flora so let's see :)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

So if my calculations are correct I have 6 published works. It is not much but frankly if someone asked me 4 years ago how many stories will I ever post online I would laugh and tell them none because my anxiety is not fond of publishing anything. It's kinda crazy to see how much I actually ended up writing and how many people like those stories <3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Oh crap, just let me grab a calculator ... ehm ... it seems that my AO3 word count is 417 452 words ... damn that's like 4-5 novels and it'd be even more if I counted the stuff that is on wattpad ... crazy

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Well my main fandom is DreamSMP but I also have a Tokyo revengers fic and a pretty promising draft for a Durarara one shot

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster

By far my most popular fic. When I posted this I expected it to get like 50 kudos top but it blew up and it makes me incredibly happy to see more and more people read it and leave all those lovely kudos and comments. I have no idea what I did to deserve so much attention but I'm grateful with all my heart <3

2. Smiling masks and golden crowns

I'll be honest I didn't expect people to like Sam and Dream content so much but once again this fic exceeded my expectations, which I'm very happy about because I really enjoy writing it and nothing makes me happier than to know that I'm not the only one who loves it :)

3. Crow's nest

A lovely story I wrote together with @bleue-flora. It was super fun to write and unlike my other fics it's pretty cannon accurate (thanks to Flora ofc, I could never lol).

4. Haitani's little sister

The only non-DSMP story you will see here! This is my very first story and frankly it shows, it's quite terrible. Story vise I like this creation of mine but when it comes to the writing style and storytelling ... let's just say that once I'm over with school I might just completely rewrite it ....

5. A tale of grief and glory

And last but not least, my dear DSMP fantasy au that ... is not getting updated as often as I'd like it to ...

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Sometimes I get a bit busy/overwhelmed with life but I do my best to respond to everyone who comments on my stories. Sadly sometimes the anxiety becomes too much but I try my best. My readers are very important to me and I want to let them know that I really do read their comments and appreciate them <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

.... I like happy ends so ... I don't really do angsty endings ... frankly I don't even do endings lol, yeah I tend to get a bit too wrapped up in writing and my fics are just getting longer instead of ending 🤦‍♀️But if I were to pick the one that will have the angstiest ending it would probably be Smiling masks and golden crowns. Mostly because I have a sequel planned for it that will cover the happy end I desire.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, other than Crow's nest none of my fics are actually finished but the one that will have the happiest ending will probably be Monster's don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Thank all the gods above, no. I have no self-esteem so if anyone hated on my work I'd probably cry and be afraid to post for some time unless someone would be persistent enough to convince me that it's not bad and so on ... On the bright side, rather than hate it'd be just confirming my insecurities

9. Do you write smut?

..... ehm ... well ... you see ... I ... maybe ... might have .... Okay, yeah I do have one smut story on wattpad from a while back. I'm not updating it anymore as it wasn't really good and all but ... yeah, it happened once ...

10. Do you write crossovers?

I had some ideas but sadly I didn't get to write them yet

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I had I'm yet to find out, so I'm gonna go with no

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yep! Someone is translating Crow's nest into Russian which is pretty amazing. A few people asked if they can translate Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster, Smiling masks and golden crowns and Haitani's little sister but I never actually found out whether they did ... thinking about it I might try to check 🤔

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

Yes, I had! Writing Crow's nest would not be possible without @bleue-flora! We had time limit and time zones made this whole project rather difficult but I'm very happy with how it turned out and I would totally be down to do it again it someday. Although before that I gotta get better so I can help Flora more 😅

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

There's too many to pick just one

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmmm .... well, I'm someone who has many WIPs but most of them are just drafts and/or a few scenes with close to no content so there are quite many of them that will probably never be finished or posted. From my posted ones .... well ... The tale of grief and glory is not getting many updates and Pathetic is ... I like the fic and I really wish to continue it but I kind of lost motivation after 'No rest for the wicked' by A_ghoul was deleted .... one day when I'll have more time I will certainly try to finish it but for now it's fate is rather insecure ...

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Strengths? What are strengths? ... For real though, I don't really know, whether I see my writing I feel like there is nothing outstanding about it, nothing to capture the audience and yet ... Perhaps, if I squint real hard I might consider my ability to side track a strength? It's not the best and in essays it's the absolute worst but when it comes to fanfics ... I don't really know whether I'm right about this or no but I would say that all those side plots help to make my fic be different from other fics? Because ... overall my ideas are not the most creative ones - Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster? The core idea of this fic is so basic it hurts. But ... then I messed around with it and ... I dare to say that it managed to be different from the other fics featuring the same story. At least I really hope so. I'm not going to pretend that it was a plan, actually it's quite the opposite, I struggle to keep a single line of thought and even if I do have some plan for the fic I'm rarely able to follow it flawlessly. More often than not I will just stray from it and do something extra that just came to mind

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

... literally everything. I struggle with world-building, my dialogues are trash, the pacing is messed up and those sideplots I mentioned before are a double sided blade ... but the thing that bothers me the most is grammar. I'm not a native speaker and, in spite of what my english proficiency test says, my english is certainly not very good. Especially when it comes to grammar and spelling I need to improve. Sadly this shows in my works and I'm really sorry about it. It is a little bit better now that I got a beta-read (God bless @bleue-flora, I'll never cease to be grateful for all the time she spent editing my chapters so they are a little bit more readable)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I never really had to do this in my fics so far but if I were to write a dialogue in a different language I'd probably put a translation. If the character speaks different language I think it is good to use that language but I absolutely hate it when people don't include translation.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tokyo revengers

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

*looks at all my fics* I hate them all equally, I srsly can't pick one. But ... well if I had to pick a favorite it would be either Monsters don't deserve hugs but you aren't a monster or Smiling masks and golden crowns. Those two are currently the most fun to write and ... dunno, I just like the story I guess. But then again I'm emotionally attached to all my written babies. I spent so many hours (that I should've spent sleeping) writing those, it's hard not get attached.

Oh no, now comes the part when I'll tag someone right? I srsly need friends so I can tag someone ... but let's see ... @elmhat, @the-final-sif, @cgogs, @1wn8ure, @airrec, @swordfright, @mistythedritten and anyone who wants to address those questions :)

I probably went a little bit overboard with answering those but ... it was fun :] if anyone actually read all of this I hope I haven't bored you to death ;)

Oh and it is like 2,30 AM for my so sorry about the grammar I'm too tired to watch it ...

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

Hey! Still talking about Charles: I think the fandom vilainizes Charles for being in the closet, or at least focus on that, because the author herself does that. Cassandra is terrible writing and dealing with closet characters since Alec. There's absolutely no nuance. Before Alec come out he was writing like kind of a dick and heard he was ashamed and a coward. She follow the same Pattern with Charles and with Ari, I still didn't forget how CC made Ari "worthy" of Anna when she come out. Both Alec and Ari were only treated better by the narrative after they "redeemed" by coming out. Charles wasn't, and I still think the scene where Alastair, Thomas and Matthew talk like coming out in that time, specially with Charles aspirations, wasn't a big deal.

Also, the fandom doesn't Focus on the grooming and abuse in Charles and Alastair because, again, Cassandra herself NEVER touches on that properly. She made about Charles not giving Alastair enough love and attention and not being ashamed and afraid of being with him, not about how everything about the relationship was wrong.

Tldr; I just hated how CC wrote Charles character and closed characters in general.

I do agree with your general point about how Cassie treats closeted characters. In the case of Alec, though, I'd like to defend her and say that it was basically uncharted territory to write a gay character in 2007, and that the "coming out" story that is so prevalent in literature now was basically a new thing then. I'm not going to split hairs over Alec's portrayal because I think she was trying to tell the story of a young gay man struggling to come out to loved ones while grappling with the shame that so many young gay people cope with. We may have a lot of books about that now, but we didn't at the time.

In TLH, I do find the way that she treated both Charles and Ari kind of... bad, not going to lie. Ari's becoming "worthy" of Anna through coming out always rubbed me wrong, and it's a big reason that I struggle to ship AriAnna. I felt like Anna brushed Ari's justified fear for her physical safety under the rug, and it really annoyed me how Cassie and her narrative treated Anna as a wronged party because of Ari coming out. This is a very valid criticism and Cassie done goofed.

In the case of Charles, I also agree to a point. I think that Charles was villainized in the narrative for being closeted, which is bad, but the issue is that we could see what Cassie was going for with him. She just brushed the surface of what he could be, and he does realize his potential in the backdrop of the story. But she never manages to bring it front and center, which is irritating considering how important it is to Alastair's character. I'm left to wonder if this is because the books were published as YA and Charles was too old to really include, or if it simply was that Cassie didn't know how to write a closeted character. Probably both.

I also, while we're on the subject, want to talk a little bit about Alastair in ChoT. I find it somewhat appalling that he was also outed in Idris and no one in the book makes a mention of it besides once in passing. I don't even think I've seen the fandom talk about it. To be fair, I do think Alastair would have come out on his own, and I think it was the right thing for him.

I do not think it was the right thing for Charles, but I think Cassie kind of homogenously seems to believe in The Power of Coming Out without acknowledging that it's perhaps not the path for everyone.

I wish that Charles the character was given the leave to really be terrible, explicitly. We see it in the text - it's in every interaction he has with Alastair, and Alastair does address it a couple of times. But we don't really see a full-on assessment of it, and Cassie never calls it what it is - abuse and probable statutory rape. That's why when writing my fics, I always give Charles the leave to be... gross. Awful. And not because he's closeted, because being closeted is not a moral failing.

However, on a positive note, I do want to mention "the scene where Alastair, Thomas and Matthew talk like coming out in that time wasn't a big deal." I actually disagree with this - I think Thomas, whose PoV the scene is in, definitely acts like it's a big deal and explicitly acknowledges this. It's also clear in both Alastair's and Matthew's demeanors, especially Alastair's, that this is hella difficult to watch unfold. I love that scene, unabashedly. It's one of my favourites in the trilogy, because it's such a huge show of solidarity. None of these men like Charles; they all dislike him. But they're fighting the good fight together, and in the end, that's what matters.

[halsinsbiggernaturals]

okay but what happened in the wild dragon age fic. why was it terrible. i'm curious now

okay, SO. i’ve talked about this fic with a few people, but i’d love to share it with the world at large. i had seen art based on a fanfic, but no link to the fanfic, so i reverse searched a bit of the passage to try to find it. i found this random fic on fanfic.net (no idea anyone even used it for dragon age) that had no relation to the original fic, but intrigued me enough i kept reading it.

the basis was that hawke was this evil, horrid, cartoonishly awful blood mage that was a menace to kirkwall, and anyone around her. already a fascinating premise, because how many times do you see hawke portrayed as inarguably in the wrong? like the true antagonist of da2?

it was so interesting to me, and even more so how the companions reacted. no one liked this hawke, she was utterly unlikeable. instead, they banded together and followed after her in order to negate the disasters she left in her wake. hawke was still their rallying point, but instead of hawke keeping their merry band of misfits together by the skin of their teeth, the companions united in spite of her, working together to keep kirkwall safe from hawke.

it was easily the most interesting da2 party dynamic i’ve read about.

additionally, the author portrayed blood magic in a way i hadn’t previously considered. hawke was happy to use other peoples blood, of course, but also heavily relied on her own blood. and it was a detriment to her health. she was described as anemic, pale, scrawny, underfed. i guess it sounds like common sense, but i really hasn’t considered the health risks of constant blood loss when using it for magic. and having their MC be described as so sickly and unhealthy was entirely new.

i would have hailed the author as some kind of writing genius, but something terrible happened:

hawke got better.

she decided she’d had quite enough of accruing the enmity of everyone and their dog (literally, the dog hated her too) and used blood magic to make a spell that would make everyone like her. the backlash caused a entirely foreseeable effect: it made her more likeable.

it was then that i realized that what i had been reading was the prologue, which set up this cartoon villain hawke in order to compare and contrast her to the new, improved hawke, who was sweet and kind and everything the old hawke wasn’t.

i felt like i'd been punk’d.

it’s possible that things get reversed or more interesting later on in the fic, there were plenty of chapters when i stopped. i’d read a few more just in case, but after the author described how eating properly and stopping blood magic had changed hawke's appearance, giving her 'curves in all the right places', i realized this fic was no longer what had captured my interest.

i haven’t been able to relocate it, and i’m afraid it might have been deleted. but it still lives in my head rent free. the greatest bait and switch i was ever subjected to.

[xxmoonch1ldxx]

I'm so grateful for this community, for the amount of nice people there are here and how accepting everyone is, but I've got to say, there's one thing I'm most grateful of.

This is just a long emotional rant so skip this if you wish, but I need to let it out my chest.

I've been going through a bad depressive episode; so much so that I even started taking meds for it. It started getting a little better, the meds were finally working a little and that's when I encountered Smosh.

I didn't imagine I'd ever fall this deep. I've had hypergixations before, dozens, but never in this way, and I didn't imagine it'd be about them. It was a complete accident, me stumbling on the we bought smosh video and just being curious.

Not for the first time, this new hyperfixations on two grown men with an adorable friendship made me want to write because everything is gay and that's because I decided so. Therefore, as I often do, I started writing a little on this new hyperfixation. Usually, I just end up giving up or writing a few fics before going back to my two other main fandoms (monsta x and bts, for those wondering). However, I decided that I needed help and a better opinion; I scrolled through the ianthony tag and fell on @lilac-hecox 's blog. She wasn't the first one I saw, but the one I felt compelled to write to, so I did. And I assumed she'd either blow me off or we'd just end up talking a bit before never talking again as this usually happens.

I wasn't ready to meet someone so fantastic and someone who I would very quickly deeply care about. I'm someone who hates texting consistently, who ends up panicking after a few days of thinking I got this and am socially capable because my social anxiety takes the reign. And yet, we started talking every day, of wayyyy more than just fics. And I found in her the kindest of soul, the most loving and funniest one. Someone who's not only amazing, but also, loves just like I do. And I don't mean romantically, I have a bf for that, but I mean someone who isn't afraid to be open and vulnerable if it means I also get to be with her. I'm someone like Ian usually, someone who looks anthipathic and who is a bit more stoic than most people, but with her, it's different. I laugh all the time and she's someone who literally heard me cry and comforted me while I did so. Which is a fucking miracle because I very rarely cry and hate showing the most vulnerable parts of me.

But she's always there, everyday, to make me laugh and talk. She's one of the kindest, most generous person I've ever met. She sent me a fucking box full of little things and American chocolate (I'm canadian) because I've said once I wanted to try. She bought us matching bracelets, one that I wear all the time and never take off. Hell, I'm getting a tattoo referencing her in two weeks.

And this is kinda crazy because we only started talking in August, but this feels right. I feel like I've known her all my life. And really, I say this in the most platonic of ways, but she truly is like my soulmate. She's one of the most talented writer I've ever met, too, and she helped me through that healing phase of mine. I've started writing a lot and posting, too, which I had stopped doing when I started being too depressed. She makes me believe that life is worth living and that there are genuinely good people around, still. She's not only kind to me but to others, too! Just in general, to everyone she knows, she's present and just so implicated in everything. She changed many people's life for the better with her job, too, without going into details, but that's amazing. She's the kind of person I wanna grow up to be when I'm at her age and she just aspires me to get better every day.

So I guess, all that to say, thank you to Smosh for allowing me to meet this gorgeous girl and establishing the ground of our friendship. Lilac is truly one of my best friends and someone who makes me feel alive in the best ways; I see her when the skies are orange, when I see kids playing in the street and having fun and in the stray cats wandering among my neighbourhood. I love you, dude, and I'm just so glad we met. Thank you for existing, really, because you make my life and a lot of others' better by simply being there and being your sunny self.

You're the Ian to my Anthony and the sun to my moon. I love you so much, pookie, and I'll never let you go. Promise one day we'll meet up for real <3

[danpuff-ao3]

I'm afraid to inform you all that Megs (@greenmegsnoham) is not a human person, but a m a c h i n e.

Just kidding, but you probably believed me for a second there. What Megs actually is is the pure personification of Virgo, running laps around the rest of us mere mortals.

This lady writes fic, records podfic, records a podcast, makes art, runs various Discord servers, runs various fandom fests, and somehow finds the time to read and comment?? She is super openminded and openhearted. She is encouraging to others. She is creative, hilarious, and helpful. All of this in fandom spaces alone, but she also has like...a real life?? Outside of this?? How, though?

And even though real life has been kicking her tail of late, she was still making stuff happen????

Not to mention, my first podcast I was featured on was because of Megs reaching out to me! And her presence in the same episode helped me stay calm and sane. We've done multiple episodes together on both Snape Chat and her own podcast, Care of Magical Shippers. She is such a blast to chat with, and listen to. And I have to credit her big time with me opening up to new opportunities and trying new things, however scary they were. And her always being such a rock through it all.

And I'm not the only person she's positively impacted. The communities she's built have been so important for so many people, making connections and building friendships and finding support and encouragement, from people all across the HP fandom. And other fandoms, now! Multi-shipper, multi-fandom, multi-talented QUEEN.)

Anyway, Megs is a big ole rockstar and I love her to death.

Fics

Exceeds Expectations

James/Severus. Rated: E. Words: 12,000. Underage. Crack treated seriously. Minor Jegulus. Minor Snegulus. Himbo James. Size difference. Enemies to lovers. Love/hate. Jealousy. Top/bottom stereotypes. Light dom/sub. Call Me Daddy Fest 2023.

No one understood.

Yes, James was tall, fit, and a Chaser for the Gryffindor Quidditch team. He was handsome and extremely popular, it was just always the wrong sort of attention he desired. He knew he gave off those fuckboy vibes. One look at James, and he was clearly ready to pummel them into the ground. And that's precisely what he did, again and again, but it wasn't enough. It never would be. No one looked at James and thought, 'Damn, I'd love to wreck that arse.'

Once. Just once. Was that too much to bloody ask?!

OR

James Potter just wants to be bred.

Wait For Me

Albus Severus/Draco. Rated: E. Words: 85,000. Underage. Unrequited love. Denial of feelings. Mutual pining. Slow burn. Time skips. Secret relationship. Drama & romance. Past relationships. Background relationships. Some Drarry, endgame Dralbus. Next Gen Fest 2022.

Draco had always believed that Harry had been the one that got away. His one great love—his best friend. He had tried to let go, to find that love in another. But he had failed. He'd accepted his fate—if he couldn't have Harry in that way, just having Harry in his life could be enough. 

Despite his unrequited love, Draco’s life had changed for the better in so many ways. But nothing had changed him more than holding Harry's son in his arms—darling little Albus. That day, he became the most important person in the world to Draco. 

Watching the boy grow into the brilliant and determined young man had been a treasure, as tumultuous as it was. Be it teenage angst or failed relationships, Draco had always been there to pick up the pieces for his boy. 

Even when his feelings took a turn for the unexpected, Draco wouldn't trade their journey for the world. 

Not when his great love had been there all along—waiting for him.

OR

30 years of thirsty pining for a Potter.

Worship Thy Master

Tom/Abraxas. Tom/Avery. Tom/Mulciber. Tom/Lestrange. Tom/Nott. Tom/Rosier. Underage. Pillow princess Tom. Body worship. Denial of feelings. Slither In Fest 2022.

It's their last year at Hogwarts, and everyone is tense about passing their N.E.W.T.s. Tom isn't, and he has an excellent idea as to how he can help his fellow year mates destress.

OR

Tom gets ALLS the dick and refuses to fall in love. Because he's Tom.

Podcast

Care of Magical Shippers (Host)

Ep. 13 | Snotterly (James/Lily/Severus)

Ep 30 | Fleurmione (Fleur/Hermione)

Ep 35 | Snaco (Draco/Severus)

Snape Chat (Guest)

Ep 5 | Cokeworth

Ep 7 | Snape Lives!

ProtegoCast (Guest)

S3E3 | Vegan Dating and Relationships

Podfics

For You

written by bisexualronaldweasley, narrated by Megs. Draco/Harry. Rated: T. Length: 2 minutes. Angst. Hurt/comfort. Loneliness. Blood & injury.

It was the stack of newspapers shoved against the front door. It was the stove, cold and forgotten. It was the creaks of the old house. It was the unused Floo powder, sitting in jars on the mantle. It was the Owls that took off every day and never returned with replies. 

One week without him, and you were ruined.

Don't Fuck With Florists (They'll Fuck You Up)

written by MayMarlow, narrated by Megs. Harry/Tom. Rated: T. WIP. Time travel. Fix it fic.

Unsatisfied with his post-war life, Harry decides to get to the root of all of his problems when that root was still working at Borgin and Burkes shop in the late 40s. He’s the Master of Death, damn it, he can do what he wants for once in his life.

Tom Riddle isn’t particularly happy about working at a small, dingy shop for magical artefacts, no matter how interesting those artefacts are. He’s even less happy when an insufferable stranger sets up the most obnoxious flower shop right across the street.

What follows would be a romantic comedy, if it weren’t for politics.

for an explanation about Mutuals March, or to figure out why i wrote you a thing, please check out this post.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hello, I've been a big fan of your blog for at least three years now but I wanted to ask what you recommend to people thinking about posting their writing/art online?. I'm a poet and I really want to post my work online but I'm terrified for a number of reasons. Mainly, about not being able to grasp people's attention. (And my work being stolen/ reblogged w/ credit but yk). I love your work and would really like to get your opinion on this.

Hi there lovely!

Thanks so much for the ask, I'm genuinely honored to be sent an ask of this nature; I'll do my best to give you my thoughts on the subject. <3 (I got a little long-winded, I'm really passionate about this. tldr; sharing a piece of yourself in your writing is absolutely terrifying but you should do it anyway.)

When I first started posting my writing (7 years ago?!) in the Sherlock fandom, I was so afraid that people were going to be mean. Literally the only way I could start posting was by telling myself that if everyone hated it, I could just delete it and pretend it had never happened. And I was terrified when I started posting drarry stuff on this blog and I told myself that if even 10 people liked it, that would be enough (I couldn't have imagined how many people would engage with this blog and my fics). Over 350 stories (ranging from 50-100k words) later, I still regularly get nervous about posting things.

I don't know how to get people not to steal other peoples' work. I don't know how to stop ai bots from consuming writing/art and popping out soulless shit because of what it consumed. There are no answers that I can give you on this front.

And if I'm being honest, I don't have the foggiest clue how to grasp peoples' attention. The follows this blog gets and the posts that get attention continue to be a mystery to me; I can't ever guess which things will gain traction and which stories will go dark (and sometimes I get pissy about it- my fic on AO3 with the most kudos is a stupid 1k story that I wrote in 30 minutes while stories that I've spent literal years writing do half as well, but I digress). And there are stories that I see other people writing that I'm obsessed with- their prose, their imagery, their crafting- that don't receive anywhere near as much love as they should and I can't understand that either. It often seems like there is no rhyme or reason to what "does well" and what doesn't.

Which is why I can't let myself get caught up in which stories are well received and which aren't. For me, writing and sharing things can't be about what will get the most reach because I can't base the story's worth (or my own worth) off of that or I'd never post anything at all. Don't get me wrong, I love for my fics to receive kudos/likes, comments, and reblogs- it's a euphoric high. But in the end writing has been about giving myself permission to be free to be an entire person without the constraints I put on myself day in and day out. It's been about putting into words all of my darkness, my fears, my failings, my desires, my wants and needs along with all of my beauty, and strength, and joy, and hope. It's been putting my heart down on a page and believing that the response I receive is less important than the process of self discovery. Over and over, I've written myself the life I want to have; I've written the type of partner I want to have, the type of partner I want to be; I've written about healing and self discovery. Writing for me has been a way to fall in love with myself over and over again, to heal woundedness, to offer myself some hope, some comfort, a dose of encouragement and bravery, a little bit of tenderness when it was scarce.

Reading fanfiction when I was in my early twenties saved my life. I'm not saying this to be dramatic, it is actually true. Reading fanfiction saved me from an abusive relationship and helped to keep me from going back. Reading fanfiction taught me what it meant to be loved well and it changed my standards for myself forever. Part of my desire to pour back into this community stems from that. If there is even one person whose life can be touched in that way, who can realize how lovable they are, who can see how they deserve to be treated and loved, my time was well spent.

I'm not saying that has to be your reason for sharing the gift of yourself. We all write and create for different reasons. But I do believe that all humans were made to create and we were all made to share ourselves in what we make. Share your words for you. Share them as an act of rebellion. Share them as an act of war or change. Share them as a way to express the deepest emotions of your being. Share them because they are a part of your own soul. Share them as an act of self-love and a way of honoring the unrepeatable, beautiful person that you are. Whatever your reason for sharing your words, make it a reason that is about you. You deserve to be seen and loved, to be known in a way that can only happen when you give yourself permission to be vulnerable. There are, in my humble opinion, few things that bare your soul the way that sharing something you've created does. Love yourself enough to give yourself away.

[maeve-on-mustafar]

For your absolutely incredible Mace Trains Anakin Series, i would honestly really enjoy seeing you write Mace possibly interacting with like. cultural differences between the jedi and tatooine, and helping anakin to reconcile them (they are two entirely different Planets with different Religions and Languages and Power Structures, it’s impossible to say that they have the exact same cultural values. like tpm anakin is Down to go behind someone’s back and trick his primary authority figure, has kept a Whole Entire Podracer a secret from the man who owns him, and by the time of revenge of the sith he is like Secrets Is Bad And This Is Killing Us, implying possible jedi influence in this) mostly bc you are a very good author and i feel like you would be able to write this subject very well but also in a way that doesn’t needlessly demonize one party as either Backwater Habits that he should Grow Past Because The Third World Allegory Has Nothing Of Value Whatsoever or The Jedi Are Horrible Monsters to Anakin Specifically

Thank you Very much and have a nice day

Hi anon, thank you so much for your your enthusiasm and interest. It really means a lot to me that you enjoyed my fics and wanted to reach out and share your own ideas with me. And I definitely agree that I’d love to see more TPM aftermath fic of Anakin struggling with the culture shock life among the Jedi on Coruscant compared personally.

As for if I'll ever write another fic for my "Mace trains Anakin" AU . . . maybe I will someday. I have three fics in my docs folder, all of them more than halfway finished or more. I'd like to complete them someday, especially because two of them involves Anakin bonding with Depa, and I had a lot of fun with those scenes.

But I hate my own writing. I hate it, and I don't know how not to hate it, and whenever I write, all I can do is worry that other people will hate my writing too. I can never get past this anxiety that my writing is a waste of time and that with the next fic I publish, everyone will decide my writing sucks and that they never again want to give any of my fics a chance.

And then there's my inability to make sustained connections in fandom. I've tried writing meta, I've tried reblogging art or gifs I think are nice, I've tried to offer thoughtful, well-reasoned points or counterpoints to meta I see going around. None of it seems to work, and it seems like everyone else already has their established friend group and that no one is ever interested in chatting with anyone new. I feel completely isolated from almost everyone in fandom, and I feel exhausted by it, too. I don't know how to fix this or what changes to make or how to summon up the energy to make any of them even if I did. It just seems so pointless; I struggle over and over again to connect with people, and I don't know why.

I wish I could write more of my "Mace trains Anakin" AU. I liked that AU. But I think I waited too long to publish the next part, and then too long again after that, because now I don't think anyone would be interested. I wish I were better at marketing my fics and striking while the iron is hot when it comes to updating series; it's one more thing I could better at if I tried but I'm not.

I just feel so burned out and tired. Fic writing is a constant battle for me because I have so many ideas that I want to share, but I'm so afraid of writing them and posting them only for them to be overlooked, and for me to be forced to realize that maybe my writing and ideas sucked all along, and that everyone else will realize it, too.

I don't know if I'll update my AU or not. I just know I constantly feel exhausted from worry about my writing, and I don't know how to go back to having fun with it anymore.