#this is DEF just part one but this felt like the natural cut off point

[slasherscream]

horror writer!!!!!!!!!

A/N: thank you for helping my chaotic ass make a decision. 

     billy loomis x fem!reader x stu macher      ft. reader who is a horror book writer

                                                     ——————– 

You’d always been a writer. Since you were a little kid you’d babble stories to your teddy bears and babysitters. Anyone or thing that sat still long enough to be talked to. Hardly could make proper words yet but already had a mouthful of things to say. 

Your parents always encouraged you. You were gifted. All you ever did was read and write. It was like breathing for you. Go a day without either and you wilted like a flower. 

Maybe that’s why you were so young and already had a handful of published books under your belt. Maybe you also had some good mood inspiration considering you grew up in Woodsboro, CA. 

Your first book wasn’t about a serial killer but the energy of the town during the beginnings of the killings had lit a fire under your ass like nothing else. You felt insensitive at times. You’d hear about classmates you’d known your whole life getting murdered and then get the urge to go and hunch yourself over your computer for hours. Itching to get your hand on some pen and paper even while you’d hug grieving friends and feel truly saddened. 

Part of it was probably a coping mechanism. Part of it was probably just the nature of a creative mind at work. Turning tragedy into something understandable. Palatable. What creative people have always done throughout the ages. 

When you published your first book it blew up. A masterpiece, typically harsh critics raved. A thrilling fresh face in the genre, older and more experienced authors had praised. Some who you had grown up reading and looking up to. You hadn’t even graduated highschool before you were getting book deals and new, publishing offers. 

It didn’t take you long before you were moving out of Woodsboro and into a blossoming career. The inspiration for your books came fast and the more you wrote the better you got. You were taking the writing world by storm. The new age Mary Shelley. 

Until now. Your last book had been a smashing success. It had been praised, as usual. There was even talk of turning it into a movie in the same way your very first novel had been adapted for the big-screen. But while everyone else loved it        you despised it. Considered it your worst work. And the current attempt at writing something else was driving you mad.

For months you stayed in your rut before you decided that a change of scenery would do you good. Time to go back home. 

It helps a little. Not much but a little. At first you stay inside all day, cooped up and taking the eccentric author gig to an extent you probably shouldn’t since you’re only in your twenties. You Mother forces you out the house. Then you start going out on your own accord. 

You feel better. Long walks and fresh air. No pressure or cameras. Your agent tries not to call too often. Business kept to a minimum. You’re re-charging your batteries. 

Then you start writing again. Slowly at first, like how you stretch unused muscles tenderly before you dive back into intense work-out routines. Then all at once. There’s a cafe in town now that wasn’t there during your teen years and you hole yourself up in it all day long. 

You and the staff are on a first name basis. You wave at them when you enter and they automatically bring you your usual drink and snack. You smile and tip ridiculously well. Your chosen table is always available to you. 

Until the day it isn’t. There are four seats at it and it’s all the way in the back with a nice view out the window and of the rest of the cafe (though you hardly people watch). 

One morning you walk in, barely awake but having a mighty urge to type. So you’d dragged yourself from bed and out the house. Sleepy wave at the staff and collapsing at your usual table.

You’d automatically begun to take out your things from the bag you’d set on the ground. But looking down you can see pairs of feet underneath the table. Sheepishly you stick your head up and can see two confused men looking back. One, the taller one, smiling despite the apparent confusion and the other with an eyebrow raised in a way that is slightly intimidating. 

“Uuuuuh sorry there        no one ever sits back here but me.” You laugh, starting to put your things back in your bag, cursing yourself for being such a creature of habit. You think you can hear some of the staff that knows you better chuckling at you. 

“You’re fine.” goes the one while the other says, “We always sit here.“ 

You pack faster. Wondering how you’d managed to unpack so quickly but you’re struggling to put everything away just as fast. Again, cursed creature of habit. One glance up to check on how peeved they must be getting and you pause. There’s something about the two of them…… you stop moving and just stare, completely distracted from your task that quickly, "I feel like I know you.”

“Do you?” The one who is already irritated asks, leaning back in his seat. This is what jogs your memory.  

“Billy Loomis.” You’d seen him strike that pose around school quite a lot. He’d always been a little moody and mysterious. Then you turn to smile a bit at his forever partner (who seems to be a literal partner now, they’re holding hands). “And Stu Macher, of course.”

“Do we know you?” Stu asks with a laugh, easy going and entirely reminiscent of how he’d acted during highschool. 

“Nah. We went to highschool together but I kept to myself. You just always seem to remember the popular kids in school even when you were busy minding your own business.” You’re blessedly done packing and stand up now, intent on just ordering to go for the day, you’ve thoroughly embarrassed yourself enough as is, “Nice seeing you guys again. Even though I uh       interrupted your breakfast date.” One jerky awkward wave and then you’re at the counter getting your order to go and making your escape. You think you can still feel them staring after you which is highly understandable. 

They’re not there the next day when you walk in and you get back to your schedule. It’s a week of the regular when one day you’re in the zone until two people join you at your table. The cafe is actually packed for once so all you’re going to do is nod acknowledgement and then get back to work.

It’s Billy and Stu. You blink in surprise and then do exactly what you’d planned. Nod a greeting and go back to working. You’re at a good part of your story. A part where tension starts to build and the plot begins to thicken.

“What are you always typing?” You look up and there’s Stu leaning halfway across the table. 

“Eh. Nothing much." 

"Nothing much? You’re typing a mile a minute.” Billy drawls, “And you’re always so focused.”

“I think I just heard two separate ‘always’ said. Haven’t we only bumped into each other once here?” Absentminded, you’re still quite focused.

“You don’t notice much when you’re in your zone.” Not quite sure what to make of that you stop typing, “Y/N, right?” Stu’s hand is out for a shake and you oblige him. You glance at Billy but he makes no move to do the same. 

“How do you know my name?” You know damn well there’s no way they’d be able to ‘remember it’ you had never had a lick of interaction your entire lives despite living in the same town and even sharing most of your classes in almost every grade. 

“Yearbook. We got curious.” At that you nod and are going to go back to work.

“So what are you always doing in here?” You know you interrupted their date that one time but that doesn’t mean this has to be an eye for an eye situation. The look you give Billy is akin to the one he’d given you. He actually laughs.

“I write. It’s a hobby of mine." 

"What kind of writing?” Stu asks and you want to groan at playing this game of twenty questions.

“Horror.” At that the two exchange a look and you close your laptop in irritation realizing you’re about to spend the rest of your time in the cafe today catching up with old schoolmates. 

                                                     ——————–

[4dtk]

NCT DREAM: s/o likes using expletives/sounds while doing mundane tasks

anon: “hello! Can i ask an nct dream reaction to their s/o making lil sounds. I have a habit of making sounds when moving, for example when i scoot over to someone i’ll make a sound like “chukuchuku” and when i jump off a couch i’ll say “pong!” or “weee!” tysm!!” hi anon!!! so glad you decided to request! haven’t written for nct dream for a hot minute so i hope it’s okay!!

i used a lot of laugh/laughter/smile in this one LOL SORRY ABOUT THAT ;; i’ll put it under a cut bc it’s really long!

→ MARK honestly i think mark would just giggle. definitely. that man’s giggle machine never runs out wtf. anyway, without fail he usually breaks into giggles at the sounds that you make. when he becomes used to it, he’ll just smile to himself and continues to do what he’s doing, knowing that you heard his noise of mild amusement. mark’s made it clear that he loves it, but sometimes he laughs a lot that you’re conscious of it. when you do get insecure about it he doesn’t hesitate to let you know that it’s one of his favourite quirks of you!!! i also can honestly see him taking inspiration from ur sounds to include as adlibs to his songs ngl LMAO. 

“yo… can you say that again?” mark says enthusiastically, bringing in his portable recording mic so he could take down your unique sound. you roll your eyes with a smile, pushing out a few more sounds that mimicked the one before the click on mic goes off. your jaw drops, “you didn’t tell me you were already recording!” that prompted you to smack him, causing the endless fit of a laugh-fest you always caught yourself in when you’re with mark.

→ RENJUN fond smile fond smile fond smile!!! renjun loves it when you exclaim out when you leave the couch or have to manoeuvre around something to get somewhere. he likes showing affection to you no matter where you phrase you exclaim, although it’s not that showy. if you happen to do your sound at the dining table some of the members will know for sure that renjun will take your hand under the table or wear a lovesick smile that all of them know too well. renjun has the sweetest words for days too looooord, only if you’re alone tho and wants to know more about your habit and how it came to be??? if that make sense!

the familiar grasp of his hand doesn’t faze you, shooting the man a sheepish smile over the table as you feel his thumb graze over your skin. “renjun, bro, i’m happy for you and all, but i think they can’t eat if their dominant hand is being held,” you hear haechan call out, making the table erupt into light laughter. renjun ignores him but fails to ignore the blush on his cheeks, threatening hyuck with a raised hand as a joke. he doesn’t care about the others, though, when he sees the wide smile on your face and feels the squeeze of his hand in yours.

→ JENO you know how he like has that “hhmnnnmh?” sound. idk how to explain it but the thing that he always does whenever one of the dream members do or say some weird shit. yea he’d do that. the first few times were out of genuine confusion, but as jeno became more used to your sounds and exclamations, he hummed out mostly as a reply to it. the atmosphere would go silent a little as he stares at you with his big, deer-caught-in-the-headlight eyes, and he holds that stare with you for a good 15 seconds LOL. def challenges you by wiggling his head around and then ending up tackling you to the couch or bed. if you’re sitting at a table the most he’d do is to probably land a kiss on your face after teasing you. mans just looking for an excuse to kiss you tbh.

“hhm?” jeno perks up to look to you, head tilted at an angle as you move closer to him at the dining table. his feigned surprise expression switches into a smile as he inches closer to you, ignoring your protests until there’s no more space left. jeno lets out a raspy laugh, lips coming into contact with your temple as the playful nature subsides.

→ HAECHAN the first time you do it, he lets out a dramatic gasp: hand to his mouth, jaw dropped etc. he’s a drama mama but you brush it off with a shove to his shoulder. hyuck def matches your energy like jaemin does but it’s mostly at the expense of his usual whines and pouts. you do it one time and the man does it ten times over. in no time he’s already cuddled up way too close to you with an arm around your waist and his head snuggled into your neck. he loves it when you say your phrases bc then he can exclaim something on his part like “very cute! but i’m cuter!” and you’d have to smack him or something. he dissolves into a fit of giggles along with the usual teasing, but other than that he likes communicate his fondness of your habit through physical touch.

moving around the project you had just bought wasn’t difficult but you couldn’t help the phrase that came naturally each time. “can you make that sound too when you’re riding-“ you don’t waste any time to land a mild slap on his forearm, gaining a laugh from your boyfriend who casually stated it during your movie night. your glare speaks tons, but haechan doesn’t care as he’s all smiles into your hair before continuing the movie. you, too, relax, knowing it was all fun banter that made your time with him all the more enjoyable.

→ JAEMIN oh my god jaem would match your energy 100%, even if the energy isn’t that high as he usually portrays himself in nct videos. with you, he’s a bit more reserved and kept to himself, but he likes it and you like it, too. when you’re moving past someone and make a noise he echoes you in the same manner you said it. and then the smile that comes after? omg 10/10!! beautiful smile!! jaemin just melts at your silly habit and the widest smile spreads across his face tbh. if you’re saying it while you’re alone with him i can see him just laughing and giggling at the words you manage to exclaim, cooing over how cute you are in his arms. jaem best boy

the ring of jaemin’s laughter fills your ears as your butt scoots closer to him, engaging him in the same fun sounds that you frequently make. jaemin repeats it in an exaggerated way, shooting you the biggest grin before pecking your forehead, “ah… why are you so cute (y/n)…” you easily nuzzle into his embrace, relishing in the warmth of his natural body heat and the arm around your waist.

→ CHENLE would counter your sound with a weird sound of his own. i know jaemin makes weird sounds but this man is on a whole other level PLSS. if you’re feeling playful you would reply and this feud of some sort would just continue until one of the other members ask you two to shut up, which would of course result in chenle’s recognisable dolphin laugh. even if you’re a little tired, i feel like the energy would still be up a little, so expect some prodding at your cheek or sides and kiss attacks from the mans. he would definitely coo, but not in the cheesy, cutesy way jaemin would. chenle has a more teasing and outgoing nature to him. it’s relentless and you’d have to stop him at some point but he’s making you laugh and having such a good time so you admire him instead.

the shrill sound fills your ears, responding to your phrase with one of his own. when you reply, he does it too, which prompts you to sigh in resignation at his endless energy. chenle catches on, but doesn’t press on further, instead entertaining you by giving you endless pecks on your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, your lips. you name it. the laugh he had, now, was more muted, liking the way your sounds of mixed protest and joy meant the opposite, “hey stop! baobei, you’re messing up my hair!”

→ JISUNG the poor boy would jump a little, but he finds himself being able to connect your actions to the sound you would make. i think the only time he would be really started was if you exclaimed a new phrase or if the action itself takes him off guard. like almost colliding with him in a hallway or popping up behind the fridge. jisung would have the littlest hint of a smile on his face, although he tries not to show it that much. i feel like he also would chuckle to himself quietly. he likes the quirk a lot that he finds himself thinking about it from time to time and even picking it up for fun one day. it felt so natural to do it that he just started to do it, too. maybe not as often as you do though! he usually cringes at it tho LMAO he doesn’t know how you make it sound so endearing. his reaction would be also just be a moment of “omg that was so cute, i love them so much”

as you land on the sofa with a sound spilling from your lips, you don’t miss jisung’s flinch at your appearance. “that one’s new,” his eyes are wide, but it eventually melts into a smile. he naturally leans back as he accepts the defeat shown on the television screen, but you don’t miss a beat to snatch the controller from him, going ahead to play the game in his stead. as you curl up by his side, you quickly beat your boyfriend at the level as his arm curls around your torso cautiously. jisung can only smile in the moment, finding that it was reaching his ears when you tease him again about the easy level.

[heyitsyn]

Keeping Up With Seijoh Ep. 4

a/n: uwuwuwuwu @animesportboys​ and i were just talking about this and my heart was just bursting at this thought 😭

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

also requests are currently closed right now since i have like nearly 30 to finish so please be patient with me and wait for me to finish it all and until then i can open them up again. however, dont stop sending me cute stuff okay?  🥺

summary: its the time of the month for seijoh’s manager 🥺

@ yn when shes extra moody and mean during that time and does this every time she hears anything even come out of the boys’ mouth

oh dear

so basically

it’s,,,,,, a natural thing that most girls go through every month for more than half of their lives and its absolutely D R E A D F U L

the boys ofc knew what the hell a period was bc hello health class so they knew you would become this,,, other version of yourself

youd be moodier, childish, and easy to annoy and snap to everyone

but you would quickly realize how you’re acting then be all regretful and teary and cry easily and then youd forget about it then start the cycle again

you’d stick your tongue out at them and tease them mercilessly, making them run even more laps and pushing them harder

‘I SEE THOSE ARMS SHAKING, IWAIZUMI HAJIME. ADD 15 MORE TO THAT ROUTINE’

‘WHAT?!’

‘IF I SEE YOU EVEN A STEP BEHIND KINDAICHI, YOU WILL BE RUNNING 8 MORE LAPS KUNIMI’

‘NOO!!!!’

‘CHECK YOURSELF OUT ONE MORE TIME, YAHABA, I WILL GOUGE OUT YOUR EYES’

‘HAVE MERCY!!!!’

dear god they hated it

when it was time, they would protect themselves and work even harder and be more perfect to make sure you couldnt see their faults and point them out and try and kill them

it was like war for everyone

but they didnt know the exact date it started so they didnt really know when to start preparing for war until it came

this time, you didnt either

you didnt even know you were starting as you were extra busy booking the buses for away comps and collecting and emailing teachers for any missed homeworks for the team

so when it did start,,,

oh dear part 2

it wasnt really something you found out when you woke up that morning but you noticed you must be getting close since you were feeling extra cranky and you havent even been awake for more than an hour

nothing really happened throughout the day so you were just thinking that you didnt get enough sleep last night so you were just tired and wanted to sleep

but then it happened

you were standing next to iwa, reviewing his spike percentages when you shifted your weight to the other leg and then your eyes widened

your water broke

i saw this tiktok of this one girl and she was about to start filming with her friend when her eyes widened and her friend knew immediately and her caption was ‘my water broke’

iwa was worried as heck on to what was going on with you and even followed your gaze to see it on the wall and nothing out of the ordinary

‘y/n?’

‘oh god’

you mumbled and you wanted to run but you were too scared that you leaked and probably have an obvious redness on your white track pants

yep it def was your time bc you felt tears welling up in your eyes and you sniffled, embarrassed and upset for this to happen now, of all times

then oikawa tooru bursted through the doors

iwa, taking his eyes off of you and to the captain, started to yell at him until he noticed the brunette’s flushed face and panting form, hunched over as he gripped on the door handle with the plastic bag

you, too busy trying to think of a way to get out of there like deciding to waddle or to just crawl, didnt see oikawa as he approached you

the team paused and watched as he took a black hoodie from the plastic bag and wrapped it around your waist

‘hmm, y/n-chan, better get dressed so we can go now’

he hummed and you snapped out of your panic and looked up at him with watery eyes

‘oikawa-san’

you whispered and he nodded, eyes knowing what was going on

‘coach, theres a planetarium special tonight’

oikawa shouted without tearing his gaze away from you and coach irihata instantly knew, knowing the code that oikawa came up with when you became a part of the family team

the elder coach made a noise of agreement and oikawa didnt wait to up and carry you in his arms and waved to the team while pushing your head in his chest so you can hide

‘work hard everyone!’

‘oi, shittykawa! what the hell-!’

but an intense side-eye from his best friend shut him up and he knew something happened so he didnt say anything since he trusts oikawa to fix it

‘i trust you will take care of them, iwa-chan’

iwaizumi nodded firmly before shouting to resume back to practice and he himself went back to the line for spikes

you were carried to the bathroom so you could change into your emergency undies and pad and after you did your business, oikawa noticed you uncomfortably waddling towards him so he took you back into his arms

oikawa continued to carry you like his bride down the street towards an unknown destination, humming a children’s show tune that takeru loved to watch, while you maintained curled around yourself, partly due to the shame but also from the pain in your abdomen

you wiped the few stray tears that spilled past your eyes and oikawa chuckled when he noticed you aggressively wipe them off

‘hmm, y/n-chan, you shouldnt do that to yourself. it irritates your eyes and the skin around it so gently dab it next time, kay?’

you nodded, burrowing back to his chest and breathing in his scent

french toast

he smelled like french toast as the smell of caramel and vanilla wafted into your nose

‘howd you know’

you mumbled against the fabric of his jacket

oikawa stopped his humming and replaced it with a chuckle

‘oh, y/n-chan. oikawa-san is a reliable senpai, dont you know? i got a tracker! just for you!’

he answered and your eyes moved from his arm to his smile and you gripped his jacket tighter, fingers curled around it as if it was your lifeline

‘thank you, oikawa-san’

your words of appreciation made oikawa’s heart thump and he faltered a little, blush creeping up his neck, but he fought it down, covering it up with a smirk

‘you should be, y/n-chan! girls would kill to be you right now!’

you rolled your eyes at the return of his cocky attitude but you knew better

the real oikawa tooru was under that mask

turns out, he carried you to his home as his house was the closest while yours had to be taken by a bus

thankfully his parents were out and his sister and nephew were in a trip in tokyo that you had the house to yourselves without anyone asking questions that might make you uncomfortable and them misunderstand

he shut the door with his foot and made his way up the stairs with ease, his strength truly impressing you at that moment, before settling you down on his bed

it wasnt even on purpose but you curled yourself on his blanket, head buried in his pillow

his heart combusted and tooru had to look away or else he wouldve jumped on you and coddled you forever

instead, he quickly ran over and knelt down under his desk to reach for the box that he has prepared for you

‘y/n-chan, i never knew your pattern until last month so i was able to prepare for you now’

you looked up from your position on the bed and sat up enough to see him standing there, grinning with a mint green box

‘wh-what is that?’

you asked and he shuffled over, sitting next to you

‘this, is the y/n care love box! this special box was created by yours truly with everything you want and need during this dreadful week. theres your favorite food, warm socks, coupons you can spend like watching movies and eating ten tubs of ice cream while we talk shit about the boys’

he listed, gripping the box nervously 

‘so? do you like it?’

he looked away from the box and to you but his smile slipped into a panicked one when he saw you silently crying and biting your lip to keep the sobs in

‘y-y/n-chan! i-its okay if y-you dont like it! o-oikawa-san can-’

‘no!’

you cut him off and lunged to hug him with all your might

hehe all might

E A T   T H I S

‘i love you so much, oikawa-san! so much! thank you!’

you sobbed into his neck and he tightly hugged you back, lifting you so you could comfortably sit on his lap straddle him if you want me to be straight forward

oikawa gently moved so he was leaning against the wall that his bed was pressed against while you were pressed against his warmth

his fingers were drawing small circles on your back and whispering corny jokes or puns that made you giggle and laugh and occassionally, he would kiss your nose and you would whine at the ticklish feeling

eyes fleeting around the room, your eyes settled back on the box and you reached out, wanting to grab it until oikawa beat you to it and snatched it for you then placed it on your hold

‘whats inside, oikawa-san?’

you cutely mumbled, sitting comfortably back on his thighs so you could open the box in front of you

oikawa laughed

‘just open it and figure it out yourself, y/n-chan’

you pouted at his tease but smiled widely when you revealed the contents inside

‘oikawa-san!’

his eyes followed your surprised expression and his hands gripped your waist

‘you like it?’

he whispered and you nodded, looking back up at him and kissing his cheek, his 

‘youre so sweet, oikawa-san! like-like this candy bar! howd you know i like this?’

you held up the treat and he shrugged

‘i keep seeing you get it whenever we go to the store’

you continued to sift through the things, seeing a dvd of your favorite movie, a f/c heating pad, a note that said your favorite ice cream was in the fridge, a bag of your favorite chips, fluffy socks, the goodies

you didnt even notice yourself crying again, only realizing it when there were wet spots beneath you

oikawa saw this and he quickly but gently put the box to the side and cradled your face with both of his hands, softly wiping the tears away with his thumbs

‘aw, dont cry, my little baby. princesses should never cry’

you sniffled and choked a laugh

‘hah, n-not a baby. j-just hor-monal’

you complained and oikawa snickered but shook his head then kissed your nose again

‘youre my baby’

you didnt have it in you to complain so you went back to snuggling into him

oikawa squeezed you and went back to drawing the circles on your back and he felt you relax into his touch and slump against his form, slowly starting to snore

your head rested on his shoulder and he turned slightly to watch your eyes flutter and nose scrunch when a strand of your hair fell on it

his heart continued to beat faster and faster and it showed by the way his fingers shook as he carefully lifted the hair away from you

he slowly bent down to give you a kiss on the forehead before laying you down to sleep more comfortably

‘good night, princess’

he sweetly placed a last kiss on your cheek before getting up to go prepare your heating pad for when you wake up

the next few days were possibly the best period days youve ever had

maybe because it was oikawa telling the team that you were in,,,,, satan’s domain currently and they should be careful with you so they tried their best to lift the weight and burden off of your shoulders

however,,

the next day after the incident,,,

they still didnt know what was wrong with you and oikawa forgot to text the gc about your condition so they were still unknowing

like today

during your classes, you were feeling off, almost nauseous but eating little bits of your chocolate treats were helping you get through until lunch

ofc kunimi noticed bc hellow he sits next to you and he doesnt pay attention during class so hes been watching you sneak little bites so the teacher doesnt see and ducking under your book

he was just amused with the way your eyes would widen if you thought the teacher caught you

kindaichi and kunimi and you usually ate lunch together at your classroom since you three only got to hang out as first years during lunch

so they know you usually have a bento with you and have a general idea of how much you eat

and kunimi thought since you ate all those chocolates earlier, you wouldnt eat as much food but then he saw you scarf down your bento, eat 2 more bags of chips and was finishing last chocolate bar

kindaichi,,,, wasnt even finished with his own bento and was watching you, amazed, at how easily you ate all of it

they didnt say anything since they thought you just didnt eat dinner last night but even during the walk towards the gym for after school practice, you were complaining that you were hungry and was eating another chocolate bar

they thought something was truly wrong bc you were eating so much more than usual

kunimi watched you chew on it as you opened the gym door and still ate even when you were talking to mattsun about his jump height

‘man, you sure are hungry, aren’t you, y/n? thats like your fifth chocolate bar today’

kunimi teased, grabbing a ball to spike but he froze, seeing you with the coldest and angriest look hes ever seen

you blinked at him, grip tightening on the treat, and mattsun slowly backing away from you

you advanced towards the blep boy, treat already forgotten and shoved to be held by mattsun 

despite your shorter height than kunimi, he trembled slightly as you looked up at him

‘are you calling me fat, kunimi? are you? am i fat? do you think im ugly? im a piggie?’

you ranted and slowly started crying, making kunimi frantically scramble to stop you before the other upperclassmen see or worse, oikawa-san

‘y/n-wait-no!-um’

‘y/n-chan?’

kunimi shut his eyes tightly in fear at the deadly sweet voice of his captain and kindaichi and mattsun sent a quick prayer to their fellow teammate before he was going to get killed

‘uh oh, i think we’d have to start looking for a replacement for kunimi’

makki, who just arrived, teased making kindaichi fearfully look at him

‘eh?!’

‘oh, you first years have never seen oikawa mad, have ya? well, you’ll get front seat of it!’

mattsun clapped him in the back making him gulp

you werent sobbing but you were definitely crying, tear tracks quickly being wetted by the numerous amount of tears that fell

kunimi scrambled to his knees and folded himself, forehead resting on the floor by his hands

‘I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE DONT KILL ME! I APOLOGIZE! PLEASE FIND MERCY IN YOURSELF AND FORGIVE ME, Y/N-SAMA!’

it was certainly a sight to see

normally calm and collected and chill and relaxed hippie kunimi begging to be forgiven

oikawa stepped forward but you quickly felt the change of your mood, feeling bad for your boy and scrambling to pull him back up

‘oh kunimi-kun! dont kneel like that! the floor is too hard and might give you knee pain!’

it was like whiplash

iwa stepped in the gym and saw the team’s confused and bewildered expressions and saw you, kunimi, and oikawa and he shook his head

this aint even half of bad as he has seen

oikawa gently took you away from kunimi and held you to him instead, giving you a smile, to which you returned, and looked at kunimi, a deadly glint in his eye

‘what happened, y/n-chan?’

the tone of his voice sent a chill to run down everyone’s spines and even iwa, the boy who’s seen this a handful of times, shivered and nervously watched oikawa, ready to jump in

but you just blinked, completely unaware of the change of atmosphere

‘oh, um, i overreacted. i was eating too much food today and mustve annoyed him or something’

you sheepishly mumbled but oikawa was having none of it

‘no, its fine. youre literally bleeding out as we speak! dont feel the need to validate yourself!’

he lightly scolded while you hung your head low and continued to apologize but he gently bonked your head before scolding you again

the team definitely knew now that you were in that,,,, time and they definitely knew now, especially kunimi, that even if youve seen oikawa mad, youd think that the devil was more merciful than him when it relates to the topic of you

a/n: i swear to GGGOOOOODDDDDD im an oikawa whore who cant seem to stop writing for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nikirishimura]

Lover, n.

I Forgot That You Existed Pt. 3

pairings: Jake x reader ft. Sunghoon

genre: angst, if you squint; crackhead; fluff

tags: mature themes, implied sex (smut in the next part)

masterlist | prev | next

lover, n.  giver.

love, v.  act.

loved (one), n. receiver.

as the four of you enter the resto, you see the rest of the boys already seated at the largest table.

"Viktor!! come sit beside me!" Sunoo shouted, tapping the vacant seat to his left.

before you could even walk to his direction, you felt a grip on your hips, as if guiding you where to go.

the foreign hands on your sides belonged to, none other than: Park Sunghoon. everyone saw what he did, specially Jake who was standing next to you.

you sat at where Sunoo asked you to. smiling at each other, he thanked you for the gifts you personally delivered to their dorm. Jake immediately took the opportunity to squeeze past the other members to sit alongside you.

"i swear to god, if you two don't behave i will throw this kimchi in your beds." Jay, who was beginning to get annoyed, warned Jake and Sunghoon making the rest of you laugh hysterically.

the dinner seemed to go by smoothly, contrary to what you expected. while finishing your plate, a two-tower cake was delivered by one of the servers. Jungwon shouted a congratulatory message and everyone applauded.

you were too full to even attempt dessert but the others don't seem to share with your view. you take a quick look at the whole table, relieved at the happiness everyone's exuding. not even 48 hours with them and you already feel like part of the family.

"wait, how did you guys exactly meet?" Sunoo pointed to you and Sunghoon out of nowhere.

"Heeseung? you want to take this one for us?" you avoided eye contact.

"i just remember you two boning each other." the older one blurted out.

the whole area was engulfed by silence right away.

"we did not??!!" you immediately shout to your defense.

"i'm kidding! jeez. you should see the look on your faces."

"there goes the mood out the window." Jungwon moved his finger to point to an imaginary wall, a bit irked.

"oh my god." Riki followed.

good thing we have Sunghoon to the rescue. "believe it or not, she was actually a trainee."

"you're kidding," Sunoo inquired.

"it's true." you continued, all eyes now glued to you. "actually, we attended dance camp together in the States."

"woah, so you guys are actually friends for years now?" Jungwon joined the conversation.

"well, not as long as me and Jay. we're practically raised as twins. i only met Ethan and Hoon just three.. four? years ago."

"what happened then?" Jake cooed, only paying attention to you.

"only the three of them came back to Korea. Uncle James, Jay's dad, decided to expand their company to Europe. him and my dad are business partners so naturally, dad decided to take charge in the next steps. and i chose to study finance in Italy instead."

"are you happy with your choice?" Jay interrupted. it was obvious that he was implying otherwise.

"Jay.. we already talked about this." you insisted.

Heeseung, being the most clueless person that he is, weren't able to read the room, "wait, you moved to Italy before or after you and Sunghoon broke up?"

a collective face palm was heard from the members.

————————————————————————

the younger members asked if they could borrow your gaming equipment so you ended up giving them the keycard to your unit. "don't stay up too late." you commanded. "Jungwon, i know you don't really play so I'm leaving you in charge." handing him the key. "be in bed by 11." your sternness never cease as Riki even tried to negotiate but with no avail.

the older ones; you, Jay, Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon decided to stay at the bar for some drinks.

"hands off, Sim." Sunghoon stopped Jake from taking your hand.

"god, will you stop it?" you rolled your eyes. "look, even Jay doesn't mind. you know why? because he doesn't get a say in my business. so should you."

"please, cut him some slack." Jay defended Sunghoon.

"thank you, brother." Sunghoon patted his friend's back.

"you didn't let me finish." the man claimed. "i apologize for Sunghoon's behavior, Jake. our friend isn't really jealous. this—" pointing his hand up and down Hoon's figure, "—isn't jealousy acting out. it's his pride."

the man being cornered couldn't even dare to protest because deep down, he knows it's the truth.

"just couldn't stand the fact that the girl he used to date is now flirting with his friend." Heeseung added his sentiments, "kinda selfish if you ask me."

"do you guys taste this?" raising your martini. "tastes like mansplaining to me."

taking a shot of vodka, Sunghoon spoke at last. "no, it's uhm.. true. i'm sorry for trying to cockblock you, bro." he lightly punched Jake's arm, earning him a small grin from the guy.

"well, just so you know, no amount of snide comments will make me stop from hitting on Jake." you proceeded.

"i know." Hoon said, smiling at you.

————————————————————————

the five of you went on with your drinks until it's time to bid your good nights. Jay was busy carrying a wasted Heeseung on his back but still managed to properly thank you for celebrating with them. ruffling his hair, you told him the same thing, grateful that they let you celebrate with them.

Sunghoon gently grabbed you by the wrist, moving you to a space where you can get some privacy.

"i'm sorry.. for acting out like that. i didn't say anything but my actions were still rude." he stated.

"honestly, it didn't really bother me. i don't know about Jake, though. if i were him, i'd be a little bummed that my friend kept being touchy with the girl i'm flirting with."

Sunghoon let out a sigh, "i'll talk to him soon. but right now, i think you guys have more important  things to discuss." giving you a knowing look. his head pointing out to Jake who's watching you at a distance.

"good night, dumb ass."

"good night to you too. and you guys use protection, if ever one thing leads to another."

[woogurl]

DISCLAIMER: I DO WOOSAN ANALYSIS, PLEASE SKIP IF U DON’T LIKE THIS SORT OF STUFF. I’M BY NO MEANS A PROFESSIONAL JUST SHARING MY OPINIONS. :)

so, i decided to make a san jealousy post because before i said i don’t think woo’s a jealous man, but now i think otherwise. however, unlike san woo is a lot more subtle(and at times he’s just outright brash with his jealousy) while san is a lot more transparent in general. so it’s easier to make a post about him. but i will include bonus moments or notable moments of woo’s jealousy. not only that, but we get less moments of woo being clearly jealous because san doesn’t give him much opportunity. ‘cause san is constantly giving him the attention he wants and is trying to woo him...

get it?

no? oke

anyway, i would like to preface this by saying jealous is not a bad emotion. in fact it’s not an emotion. it’s a feeling that every human experiences. unlike emotions a feeling is where you have a decent enough time to think about how to react to something. jealousy is often a feeling of insecurity. this may shock u but this includes ur idols. ‘cause u know they’re not robots. tho it’s understandable to get confused because they’re all so dreamy. but not the point. 

however, jealousy isn’t technically a good thing either and it can also derive from an unhealthy characteristic or trait of being possessive and territorial. to even someone’s detriment. especially if it makes the other party feel smothered, uncomfortable or constricted.  

now. the important question you’re wondering is whether i think san is possessive and territorial. 

well, yes, i do think he is a bit. but not to an unhealthy degree if u ask me. he isn’t overly dominating. such as making everyone else feel uncomfortable because he’s very careful not to impose himself on others. in fact i’d say san is mostly dominant/territorial and jealous because he’s insecure AND possessive.

but that’s enough talking let’s talk about moments of jealousy from san.

let’s start with some iconic jealousy moments that immediately come to mind when we’re talking about woosan. 

this moment where woo kissed seonghwa. as soon as san realized what was happening his body became stiff and awkward. just look at his face in the first ss. lmfao. he instantly became jealous and walked away and said. “i can’t watch this”. it was pretty obvious and his body and face also had a lot of tension which also shows displeasure. 

this moment where he became absolutely shocked that woo caressed seonghwa’s face. please note how he was looking at wooyoung as if he couldn’t believe that he would do something like that to him. san’s face instantly changes from smiling to just pure jealousy in response to woo’s actions.

let’s talk about subtle jealousy, i mentioned this moment in an interview analysis. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/620788572454371328/hey-i-wanted-to-make-a-small-mini-woosan for reference. 

as i pointed out before. san’s jealousy starts the second wooyoung places his hands on yunho. while the moments before show how easily triggered and jealous san can get. i feel like this interview clearly shows san’s possessive side. his jealousy consumes him to the point where he simply cannot focus at all during the end of the interview. it’s also interesting to see san genuinely seeing his members as a threat in this manner. 

let’s talk about another subtle jealous moment, however it’s also very open and aggressive body language. and i’m still surprised san reacted this way. but interesting moment that’s not often talked about. a friend sent this to me in dm a while ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26rscSxwIEU @ 5:25.

san was initially just minding his own business until he noticed woo talking to someone named tag. i was told that this was woo’s friend (ofc who isn’t woo’s friend at this point). as soon as san spotted them he started walking towards them. which surprised me because san is an introvert, he wouldn’t normally react like this in any situation but i def felt like san reacted more aggressively in this atmosphere because he’s aware isac is often a place where idols “meet" cough cough if u get what i mean.

as soon as san approached them he smacked woo hard and i mean hard af on the back. like damn. lol. something u should take note of is a persons status in a group is often revealed through body language. if a person uses dominant indirect/unconscious body language they’re displaying an indirect form of aggression. 

not only that but san adds himself into the conversation. not only that but he touches/tousles woo’s hair which is a pretty affectionate gesture. tag is close to woo but san keeps invading that small space between them and his body and feet are pointed towards woo. you can see tag talking to hj from a decent distance but san is literally taking up that small personal space between woo and tag. he touches woo’s side and continues to try and get closer. u can also see that woo is fidgety avoiding eye contact while san’s eyes and gaze are directly on woo and follows his every move. it’s lowkey scary how san’s eyes are scanning woo. and as soon as woo has to leave the whole convo between them ends abruptly. lol.

next thing i wanna talk about is neck touches. i’ve already made an analysis about this. https://woogurl.tumblr.com/post/626125803005116416/woosan-neck-touches-this-is-probably-one-of-the?is_related_post=1. but there’s been many more moments since then. and my initial opinion has only solidified since then. 

now i mentioned before that san doesn’t touch the other members neck as often as he touches woo’s neck. and definitely not as often as i thought he did. i mentioned before that does this either out of habit, to comfort or to assert dominance(it could even be all of them depending on the situation). and because san has shown signs of being possessive and territorial. i wouldn’t be surprised if the later was true. here are some recent ex.

san was pretty protective of woo during the surprise youtube vlive. his hands just couldn’t keep off him. lol. and woo as always is extremely comfortable with san’s skinship. not only that but i also think it genuinely comforts him when san does it.

this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAMfdeQ4DcM, was quite interesting. to me it was one of the most interesting recent interactions from them. yet people barely talk about it. lmfao. well it’s understandable ‘cause their interactions were def edited/cut but a lot of moments were cute but here. san was being more possessive and territorial than normal with woo. so much so that the staff literally had to move him. LOL. @4:30 san was lowkey jealous that woo chose yeosang(even tho san was first to volunteer himself) as his guard and not him. but it doesn’t matter because san still ended up next to him. lol. however after some time they moved him and i’m not entirely sure why. i won’t really go into depth about this moment because this post is meant to analyze san’s jealousy as an outcome of possessiveness/protectiveness. 

i would like to highlight again that i do not think san is possessive and territorial in a way that’s imposing. or in a way where he’s trying to dominate a conversation or propose himself as the ‘leader’. i think he’s this way because he’s naturally a caretaker. which is why he seems to want to protect those he genuinely cares about and are possessive over them.

next i wanna discuss this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2XslMoD5h3M&list=WL&index=12&t=2s. this video is one where san was particularly touchy and possessive with woo. attempting to physically draw woo into him as much as possible. 

he starts touching woo @1:54. then, @2:15-2:33. and there’s a moment at 2:33 in particular that interest me.

san’s still touching woo, and if you ask me his touches with woo are a bit intimate. and on the side you see seonghwa’s hand on touch san’s waist. and it’s either because 1. he can’t see or 2. he’s warning san of something. @2:40 you can see it more clearly. 

as you can see, seonghwa can’t(omg, joke from gmm don’t mind me). anyway, seonghwa’s kind of leaning forward. but this could also be because he wants to be subtle with his warning to san. you see the thing about subtle moments are.....they’re subtle moments. lol. they’re supposed to be subtle. and when they’re this subtle it’s easy for people to go. ‘oh, you’re overreacting, he’s just looking over’. so for now, i’m gonna say he’s just trying to look over.  

now, i know people wanted me to put the part where san’s hands glide over woo’s back but this isn’t the sexual tension analysis. so anyway san’s hand is placed on woo’s neck @3:00-3:17 until he has to clap. lol. 

san’s back to touching woo @3:35, but seonghwa can’t see again, because san’s pretty pressed up against woo and he’s a little in front of seonghwa and seonghwa keeps trying to pull san back. but at this point what is he trying to see? lol. and if you watch carefully, immediately after hwa touches san’s arm. he moves it. so i’ll leave that up to u guys to interpret it as you wish. there’s a couple of more moments after that where seonghwa attempts to warn or pull san back. and i’m pretty sure it’s because san was being touchy. i’m gonna guess it’s because he really liked woo’s fit that day. 

i mean just look at the way he was looking at him at 3:50. his hands were firmly place on his neck and he was staring at him while licking his lips. 

now let’s talk about how my man san is literally draped over woo at this point @4:46. i wanna mention the way san’s no longer literally holding woo’s neck anymore(which is a pretty possessive gesture because the neck is a pretty intimate are and san feels like he owns woo’s neck or something). now he’s pressed even closer to woo and his arm is wrapped around his him. something san has always done even in predebut is wrap his arms around woo’s shoulder and to me that’s pretty evident body language that he wants to be physically closer to woo by drawing him into him and wants to get rid of space between them which is pretty evident esp in this ss. just look at woosan compared to everyone else. so the reason i added this moment is because it shows how possessive and touchy san to be kind of like displaying ‘he’s mine’ or ‘we’re super close, see?’ and everyone else is just minding their own business while hwa is probably inwardly freaking out. lmfao. 

here’s a similar moment/situation. https://www.vlive.tv/post/0-18364450. the vlive on idol radio with woosan as host. 

we start off the video with san holding woo’s neck. can i just reiterate how intimate this gesture is. also how san often does this to woo and rarely does it with others? just imagine your partner holding your neck like this. it’s a pretty intimate and possessive gesture. it’s not mentioned often but woo’s neck is pretty sensitive and he viscerally reacts when it’s touched by others intentionally intimately. lol. but anyway san holds woo’s neck for quite sometime and their body language is once again so different from everyone elses.

i also wanna mention that someone said the interview with oneus and mostly onf was awkward in my dm. esp the tension between wooyoung and the boy in the green and yellow sweater. i’m sorry i don’t know his name. xD i would have to watch again. ‘cause i’m not sure if there was tension but i do know woo was quite bold in starting their amicus ad aras thing. anyway the clip was relatively short so not much to be said.

next this vlive. https://www.vlive.tv/post/1-18386548. san was pretty hyper here. lmfao. excited from the start he was already clinging to woo. 

but we’re here to pinpoint possessive/jealous san. lol. he starts holding on to woo around 21:45-22:57. he holds on for quite a while. lol. 

he let’s wooyoung’s neck breath for a while before it’s yeosang comes in @23:07 and he grabs it again. lol. and at 23:38 as woo was gonna blow in yeosang’s ear san comes down to peck woo’s head and grabs his shoulders with both hands. lol. 

and of course he continues holding woo and gets closer to him and he checks to see if the staff is looking at him weirdly. lol. 

he holds on to him a while longer before yeosang finally get up. i would also like to say san was following woo around for a bit previously before this happened. lol. now as woo gets up the camera kind of goes somewhere else and jongho’s kind of in the way(it’s oke, we love to see his handsome face). so i couldn’t really see exactly what happened but @25:15 woo clings on to hwa and san’s like, ‘oh...alright’ lmfao. i also wanna mention woo tried to peak under hwa’s shirt. at this point we can say he’s not only an ass man but a tummy/abs man oke. anyway that’s it in conclusion san loves to touch and hold on to woo in any way possible. 

i also wanna mention the moments where san wraps his arms around woo’s waist, because i also think this is possessive/territorial body language. i’ve made a whole comp of this because san does it that often. 

THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG. so i wanna bring up a few of the online fansign moments. it difficult to interpret these because 1. they’re short clips without much context and 2. i don’t understand what’s being said but i’m gonna analyze this from body language alone.

so something we know about san is he often initiates contact first and i’ll be making an analysis talking about this soon. but anyway in a lot of these moments san is just in wooyoung’s space, but woo gets in san’s too and these moments make me realize woo can be just as possessive and territorial as san. because they crave for each others attention. (you can find most of these moments on woosan insta’s acc’s like kn nk, yowoosan, etc.)

here woo is talking to a fan but san suddenly pops out of nowhere and waves his hand as if he’s waving the fan away. i’m not sure what else this could have meant. i don’t think he was waving at the staff(who i think are in front of them) to leave ‘cause he was looking at the camera. he then left and came back and wrapped his arm around woo and left again and then came back and said something to woo, but woo looked annoyed. possibly bc he was trying to interact with the fan and san kept invading his space. to me it looked like san was being possessive, craving woo’s attention esp bc woo’s interest and attention was on the fan at that time.

i’m not gonna post all of the moments bc this post is already too long, but i think the fansigns showed how they both want each others attention and how possessive they can be. san’s jealousy appears more often because he’s just generally more transparent than woo. but anyway i’m tired, thas it. 

i’m gonna just do a separate post for woo, ‘cause it’s just too long. xD

[thewritewolf]

After the End Chapter 26: Reverse Crush

First | Previous | Next | Last

@marichatmay

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

“Don’t leave in suspense, girl!” Alya rubbed her hands together. “Give us those juicy deets!”

“It starts with all four of us getting ready to attack the one place we know about.” Marinette looked at them meaningfully. “Suited up.”

Nino slammed his fist into his hand. “I’m down. Been a while since I’ve thrown down the Carapace hurt, but I can pull it off no prob.”

“Same here.” Alya smirked. “It’ll be nice to be Rena Rouge one more time.”

“And you know I’m more than willing to teach those guys a lesson on why you don’t kidnap super heroes.” Adrien crossed his arms in front of his chest.

Marinette smiled, an expression that didn’t reach her eyes. “Then I get the feeling that you’ll like this part of the plan the best”

---------------

Ladybug had her belly to the roof and a red spotted T-shirt cannon held in her hands. Her spot gave her an ideal vantage point on the building she had broken Chat Noir out of the week before. The only stronghold of the Gentlemen that they knew of, and the location of at least one of their lodestones.

Well, for now, at least. If everything goes right today, then it wouldn’t be housing much of anything anymore, let alone lodestones.

She had already renewed her transformation while she was alone, leaving her with nothing to do to pass the time. Minutes of waiting felt like hours as the tension built, her eyes locked on the door and hidden windows of the building. She nearly leapt out of her skin when her communicator vibrated, and almost forgot to count how many times it went off.

Twice. Rena Rouge was in position.

Shortly after that, there was a solitary buzz. Chat Noir had found his way to his spot - she could just barely see his outline from where she was, the black of his suit blending well into the shadowy alley. Three buzzes followed close behind, which was fitting. Carapace was close to Chat after all. He’d need to be for this to go well.

With all of them in position, she took a deep, steadying breath and sent an empty message to each of them. She imagined three devices going off, each of them activating their powers. The time crunch was on now.

Chat Noir streaked across the open road, his claws crackling with barely contained destructive power. He slammed it into the solid stone of the building.

---------------

“But won’t they just turn on the lodestones or whatever to stop us from doing that?”

Marinette shook her head. “That’s why we turn on our powers first. That aura doesn’t work on already active abilities.”

“Well, alright.” Alya tapped a steady rhythm against the arm of her chair. “Let’s assume that works out - I don’t see why it wouldn’t. And I can see why you’ve got Carapace on hand there, but from what you were saying, can’t they just activate the lodestone and bring it pretty close to the Shelter?”

“Yeah,” Nino chimed in, tugging at his cap. “That’ll def take even my shield down, right?”

“Yes, which is why they’ll do it.” Marinette leaned back and steepled her fingers. “And that’s exactly what we want.”

--------------

The illusion gripping the building guttered out just in time for the windows to be thrown open and the door to shake off its hinges as a whole mess of henchmen funneled out of it. Panic was on their faces, caused no doubt from the massive cracks in the stone of the building and from the way it was swaying unsettlingly in the winter winds.

Panic quickly turned to rage when they saw Chat Noir running backwards, toward the green glowing shield that Carapace had summoned to full size just as they began pulling out their weapons - everything ranging from clubs and medieval looking crossbows to more… modern arms.

“Out of the way, you idiots! That shield will stand up to everything you can manage!” A familiar voice cut through the rabble and pushed their way to the front.

This representative of the Gentlemen was no longer the calm and collected individual that Ladybug had sent running last week. There were dark rings around his eyes, and his hair was disheveled as if he had only been half paying attention when combing it. But the most important detail was what he was holding - a delicate piece of masonry, old and brittle, covered in new, deep etchings that no doubt compromised its integrity even more.

It was a gamble for them to bring it out, but they couldn’t go back into the building. ANd Ladybug knew that the man would at least want to claim a miraculous in exchange for its loss. After all, how much of a gamble could it be for them? He was surrounded by hired muscle and, shield or no, the superheroes lacked any super strength. Or even a catalcysm, since Chat had just ‘wasted’ it. Ladybug’s yoyo would be useless too, transforming into a normal yoyo before it could ever reach it.

What could they possibly do to thwart them?

Ladybug took careful aim with her T-shirt cannon, a grin on her face.

-------------

“Seems risky,” Adrien said with a frown. “Should we really leave it up to chance, using whatever the Lucky Charm gives us?”

Marinette held up one finger. “First, it hasn’t ever failed us yet.” Another finger joined the first. “Second, that’s why I’ll be the first one to summon my power, long before anyone else gets into position. If I get something that I just can’t use, then we’ll try again another time. It’ll probably be a sign from the Ladybug miraculous that then and there isn’t the best idea anyway.”

“Alright, so we destroy the lodestone thingy.” Nino tilted his hat back and scratched his head. “That still leaves us with a bunch of bad hombres and no super strength to toss ‘em around. What’s the plan to round ‘em up with just us four?”

“Simple.” Marinette smirked. “We don’t.”

-------------

The cannon had even more power to it than she thought. The Gentleman was clutching his wrist and even from here she was pretty sure it was broken. Much like that delicate piece of stone that was shattered into hundreds of pieces on the unforgiving cobbles of the Parisian streets.

Uncertainty gripped the little mob of armed henchmen as they desperately tried to split their attention between keeping an eye on the two heroes that they knew about and scanning the skyline for their mysterious T-shirt-based sniper. Naturally, she didn’t give them a chance to spot her.

A few tentative bolts and bullets were fired into Carapace’s shield, but none of it so much shook the energy field.

Gritting his teeth, the Gentlemen said, “Well played you little bastards. But there is no escape for you now - your time is limited and there is no one coming to help you now.”

It was unfortunate timing for him then that the blaring of police sirens barrelling down this very street arrived at just that moment. Bright headlights piercing through the relative dark disoriented the unruly bunch, which Ladybug took as her moment to strike.

With the lodestone destroyed, her and her yoyo remained at full strength - a few quick swings was enough to rip the weapons from their hands and pull them away, just as the Parisian police force emerged for their mass arrest.

--------------

“Clever!” Alya leaned back, whistling appreciatively. “Although I’ve still got two questions.”

“Go ahead,” Marinette gestured toward her best friend, one arm hanging over the back of the chair.

“First off - what about that library of intel you guys said they had? Even famous heroes Ladybug and Chat Noir can’t get away with just walking away with armfuls of damning evidence against a gang.” ALya raised an eyebrow. “And second, where am I in all this? Catboy and turtlelad have got their time in the spotlight, and you get your badass moment. So what about me?”

Marinette smiled. “You’ve got the answers to both of your questions right there.”

-------------

The three of them returned to the Agreste mansion and turned off their transformations. It wasn’t long before the window opened and closed again, seemingly by itself.

There was something like a heat wave in the air as Rena Rouge dropped her illusion of invisibility - and with it, a packed dufflebag.

Marinette unzipped it and couldn’t help but clap excitedly when she saw that it was filled to the brim with ledgers and notebooks - there was bound to be some important info in here, she was certain of it.

“How’d it go, babe?” Nino pressed a kiss to Rena Rouge’s cheek as her transformation dropped.

“They were way too busy staring daggers into you two to be looking back at their condemned building.” Alya grinned. “No one suspected a thing.”

Adrien began pulling out the papers, a strange look on his face. His eyes met Marinette’s and she could see something glimmering behind his eyes. She recognized it immediately.

Hope.

[missmaxime]

Author Ask

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks to talk about one of my fav fics – Ain’t No Sunshine (Yes, he sole Beth/Turner fic – that’s also very much about Beth/Rio even though they never see each other). So, this got very lengthy haha, I hope you know what you asked for! Soo most of the time when I actually commit to writing a fic – and not just leave it on an idea or a vague outline – is when a random set of concepts, themes, challenges etc. fall into place in my mind and I’m like: yes. the fic. the fic is all these things.

So what were the important things?

* Beth/Turner I definitely feel like this ship is not under-appreciated, but vastly underwritten about (sole evidence: ao3), and since no one was writing it for me, I felt a big urge to do it myself. If I recall correctly I remember @medievalraven, @nottonyharrison , @nakedmonkey and maybe a few others mention the ship in tags or posts, and I remember thinking; ah, I’m not the only one. That’s encouraging! Not that I’d mind writing an unpopular pairing – but it’s always nice to know some people might be interested in reading it. * PTSD / Missing out on Beth dealing with it in S3 I’m absolutely fascinated with how people deal with PTSD – there’s definitely some personal experience laced in with that, but I’m intrigued by the whole spectrum. On the show we see Beth open up to Max (Stranger McStrangerface) about how she felt like after shooting Rio. Max, someone she has no obligation to, who she doesn’t lose face with, who doesn’t know her, doesn’t know the weight and emotion of that action and moment. One of the saddest moments I feel in the whole show is, after Annie and Ruby discover that Beth has befriended Rhea. Everything in the moment where they talk about the shooting, to Annie and Ruby’s reaction is telling: Beth hasn’t confided them with the truth, or bent the truth to a point where Annie and Ruby accept the fact that there’s no downside to Beth shooting Rio – even when it solely comes to Beth’s feelings. Annie and Ruby either choose to not engage with Beth’s grief and trauma, either because they feel like it’s a lost cause (she’ll shut down, pretend it’s not that bad, etc.) or because they don’t know how. Regardless of the motivation behind Annie and Ruby’s response, it tells me that Beth is dealing with these feeling alone. Point of all this: I was wondering what would happen if Beth tries to deal with her grief and trauma by seeking out the only person (in her reality at the moment) who experienced very similar feelings in that loft. Beth and Turner act very opposite in their PTSD (from Turner’s POV). Beth is using their time together to unload her trauma, to open up, to give up control in a way while also grappling to retain some – regardless of how messy, toxic and reckless it all is. While Turner, in his own opinion, uses the time to practice his control, blame Beth for being the emotional wreck in this situation. While Beth in a way embraces feeling something, Turner places himself above her to the point where he ridicules her in his head for coming back to him, while ignoring that he went to see her at work – practically forcing her to pay him a visit after she didn’t return after they had sex in his bedroom. Under the surface I wanted to shine through that while the whole situation is a mess: Beth continues the affair, even though she keeps escalating them physically, growing more emotionally detached, solely continuing to chase after some sliver of feeling even though she knows it’s a bottomless well. Turner continues the affair even though he becomes more emotionally invested, both in figuring out Beth and in the affair overall. They become the mirror of what Turner perceived them to be in the beginning. Turner expects himself to triumph out of their affair as ‘the winner’, perceiving it even as some sort of twisted competition – after all; he holds the higher moral ground, he knows more than her, he’s the experienced survivor – yet even though he sees Beth like many others don’t, he chooses to overestimate himself like he does with Rio. Eventually leading to him gradually caving to Beth emotionally, and his inflated ego from interactions with both Rio and Beth leading to his fatal demise. * Imagery / Lines of dialogue So, in visualizing the scenery I really wanted to feel a sense of isolation throughout the whole story. It’s a deliberate choice that save for the first scene, they never meet anywhere else than Turner’s apartment, and they never meet at daytime. I choose the title Ain’t No Sunshine for more than one reason, but establishing the overall visual was definitely one of them. It’s not just a situation that’s literally going nowhere, it’s dark and without a light at the end of the tunnel from the very beginning, and when there’s finally sunshine appearing, it’s the bringer of death. Turner’s apartment is probably the most impersonal housing situation we’ve seen on the show – it’s also designed that way; it’s corporate housing. It’s a temporary stop, it’s a place where nothing’s yours, made to stay for a little while and then move on. From the very beginning I knew I wanted the story to take place here for the most part, if not all of it. For Turner if feels impersonal because the apartment has no meaning, it’s disposable, it’s anonymous, it’s safe in a way, it doesn’t represent him – and it feels like he has the upper hand because she comes to him. For Beth it’s also impersonal because it’s also not hers, it’s far away from her own environments – and it also feels to her like she has the upper hand because she intrudes his place, like he has done to her before – it’s safe because it’s anonymous and it’s balanced. I often write a bunch of notes in my phone about fic (including lines of dialogue), but I wrote absolutely nothing about Ain’t No Sunshine. It’s one of those fics where I felt like I had a good grasp on the concept, the vibe and the setting when I started writing it, and every scene kind of naturally flowed out of the other. I knew I wanted to convey some things, so while I knew I wanted to say something about PTSD, I didn’t know a line like ‘Instead of your skin getting thicker with every shot fired, your skin gets thinner until it’s nothing but papyrus, tearing at the smallest implication.’ would come from that. I had a few markers of time (I knew roughly when it started, knew a few canon points that would happen, and obviously I knew when it would end) but I didn’t plan any of the scenes. * Cornerstone So while I def went into some specifics in all the points above, aside from wanting to explore the Beth/Turner ship, the most important thing was diving into all the messy, stupid, damaging and obsessive twists and turns people lose themselves in when dealing with heavy emotions like trauma and grief. While they make stupid choices herein, I also feel strong that they’re not always wrong in going into these extremes – because it’s normal to be a mess after the situation in the loft, to struggle with finding something harder and healthy instead of fast and easy. And while they can’t help themselves being judgy of each other, they’re also embracing each other like no one else around them is – intentional or not. Haha, this deep dive was a ride! I tag:

@mamey2422 with And I Feel Fine @mego42 with listening through the air shaft  @wakeupflawless with The King’s Mistress  Rules under the cut!

Recently I have become really fascinated with fanfic authors and what exactly was rumbling around in their brain that inspired a fic? Was it a line of dialogue you couldn’t get out of your head?A scene you wrote WAY in advance and then crafted the whole story around?An image in your mind?Inspiration from another form of media?Maybe someone suggested something to you and it just TOOK off from there? What is the cornerstone of this fic -what is it all built around? The idea that started it all?

Tag an author & their fic. Let’s hear about what sparked your story. What exactly got your booty movin’ shakin’ motivated and writin’ ?

[scatter-kinnin-patter]

YOU WANT MORE COMABUR MEMORIES??? IVE GOT MORE COMABUR MEMS FOR YA!!!

A continuation of this post because I've been digging around and the memories are coming back more and more! Mostly pre-dsmp and S2, S3 is still mostly a blur to me b u t! Under the cut~

So I'll start with some pre-dsmp memories of mine. So as a refresher, my canon had Phil as my dad, Techno as my twin but older by a few minutes, and Tommy as our little brother. I don't remember our mom, though I know we always joked about Philza and the fridge XD I think Tommy was our half-brother, and had a different mom than Tech and I? Still a bit fuzzy on that.

I mentioned how my Tech was a piglin-human hybrid, while I was more "human with very few piglin traits". One thing I remember though was I actually had naturally pink hair that matched Techno's, but I dyed it brown and often wore my beanie to hide when my roots were coming in. I'll explain more why I did this later.

I remember pre-dsmp, I grew up in another smp. SMP's kinda... worked like varying realms one could teleport between? The teleportation was difficult though so there was rarely anyone who'd frequently swap between smps. But I grew up in Earth SMP's Antarctic Empire! Phil raised Techno and I, and later we had Tommy with us too! I remember it was always cold, but in our castle and fortress it was much warmer. Techno, being Techno, was extremely skilled in combat and strategy and Phil took him under his wing(hah!) as the technical heir to the throne and taught him everything he'd need to know about conquest. Me, I preferred teaching myself diplomacy, fighting wars with words rather than with blood. For a time this worked actually, Techno and I really balancing each other out, but soon things got... Eh.

Tommy brought it up to me first, I think he trusted me to open up to more than the others(sorry Tech and Phil but I'm the favorite xoxo /J) and basically opened up about how unhappy he was there. He wanted to explore the world, not be holed up in some frozen corner of the planet going and conquering a bunch of strangers just so we could follow Phil's and Tech's legacy. He felt suffocated in their shadows and... tbh I felt somewhat similar. So we made a plan, and one night we ran away without saying a word... Well, I left Techno a letter, but.

We ran to the portal, and somehow convinced Dream to give us access to the dsmp. I think he agreed because he knew that would knock Techno down a peg(my Dream and Tech were rivals for p obvious reasons). And we started over there. I dyed my hair, we got ourselves a new wardrobe, and we thought starting over in a small place without many people would be good! We lied about our past, though. We didn't want to be connected to the Antarctic Empire... both because we were trying to leave that part of us behind but also so no one would tell Tech and Phil where we were. This was our new start!

AND WHAT DOES TOMMY DO. START A FUCKING WAR WITH DREAM HIMSELF.

Tommy. Ily. But you're so stupid. /lh

So I've talked about how my mems from S1 and half of S2- up to Techno's execution- went, but I've remembered a bit more!

After Techno brought me back to his cabin, we talked for a long time about what happened. I told him I didn't remember anything leading up to my "death", and Techno filled in the gaps for me. I also didn't realize Phil was in the server because... Well I don't remember my confrontation with him. I also didn't remember my hypnosis, and since Dream is the only other one who knew, Tech didn't know and didn't relay that to me.

We agreed that for now, it'd be best if I stayed with him instead of back in L'manburg. And for a while I did!

One day though, Techno finds Tommy. ... Specifically the Tommy that was living under his house like a raccoon. Techno was furious and started chasing Tommy around, who was still hoaring his Gapples and whatnot, and when I finally walked outside to see what the hell was going on, I locked eyes with Tommy, and we both stopped.

He was white as a sheet, and looked about to cry, and luckily Techno stopped chasing him after seeing this. Again, Tubbo Quackity and Ranboo never told Tommy about me, he thought I was dead. I spoke up first with a "Tommy?" And he goes "Wil... You're alive?" To which I started tearing up- "Yeah... Yeah, I'm alive!" And we both just- broke at that, we ran to each other, I nearly crushed him in a hug and we were just sobbing. He thought I was gone, and I had gone so long without seeing my favorite lil bro that just... Aaaaaaa

After that Tommy explained his exile to Techno and I, and why he ran away and lived under Techno's house. I think Techno was softened up by seeing how happy Tommy and I were to be reunited, but also Tommy's his brother too, so he agreed to let Tommy stay too.

Now, Tommy was salty at L'manburg for exiling him, and Techno is anti-government. But- I think Techno was even more against L'manburg because of how hurt Tommy and I came out of it. So Techno and Tommy swore vengeance and decided to start doing crimes against L'manburg. I stayed out of it though- I was in good enough shape to take care of myself by this point, but I still way too injured to be in any sort of fighting shape.

And then one day... Techno came home without Tommy. Turns out Tommy sided with Tubbo in the end... and Techno was still determined to destroy L'manburg. Eventually they broke Philza out and- hoooooo that was an awkward reunion. Dream also came over from time to time to plan for their attack. I was. V uncomfortable around my Dream for reasons I couldn't explain(spoilers: it's the hypnotism that I forgot happened). I wanted nothing to do with their plan. I didn't want Tommy hurt, and I wasn't going to help them hurt him. I should've done more to stop them, but... Can't change the past.

After making a crater where L'manburg was, I confronted Phil. I called him out on doing something so awful... And he called me out for doing the same. He said to me, "Power corrupts, Wil. I've seen it with Schlatt, I've seen it with Tubbo, and most importantly I've seen it with you!" To which I retort, "You see it in everyone but yourself, Phil!" Because... ANTARCTIC EMPIRE ANYONE??? Turns out the Empire disbanded shortly before Tech and Phil came to the server, I don't remember how exactly that falling out occurred, but there was a reason why Tech and Phil were so strongly against any governments at this point.

After our fight, I left Tech and Phil. Tommy needed me. I built my own place not far from the crater, and frequently visited Tommy, Tubbo, and the others. Not Ranboo though, since Ranboo stayed with Phil and Techno. And Niki kinda wouldn't talk to me because she was... def also upset at thinking I was dead.

I was with everyone who confronted Dream when he had his finale with Tubbo and Tommy. He was NOT going to hurt my boys fuck no. Tommy took 2 of Dream's lives and you BET YOUR ASS I WAS CHEERING HIM ON(sorry Dream kinnies ily)

And then. Oh boy. Before Tommy could go for a third... Dream turned to me, and said something- I forget what, maybe it wasn't English, but it snapped something in me. I may have forgotten being hypnotized, but the effects were still there. Something came over me and I everything in my system was screaming at me to attack Tommy... so I did. I screamed, and lunged at him, but I was only able to tackle him and couldn't even get a hit in before Quackity and a few others were able to grab me and pull me off of him. I was thrashing to get free, but thank fuck they held me down.(Big Q ilysm /platonic)

It was then Dream revealed what he did to me way back in Pogtopia. He spoke something again, and I just felt that urge in me drop like a rock through my body, and I fainted then and there. When I came to, Big Q filled me in on what happened. Dream said he was the only one who knew how to undo what was done to me, and if he was killed, they'd run the risk of me doing that again. So they put Dream in the prison.

Now most of S3 is still blurry to me, but I remember breaking into the prison with Tommy. And that confrontation(which would've been Ghostbur if I was canon compliant but nope my canon is OFF THE RAILS). Tommy was with Sam, and I was stuck on the other side with Dream. Dream threatened that if he wasn't let go, he would "reset" me, whatever that meant. There was a lot of arguing and tbh I was terrified, but I knew I couldn't let Dream go. So I looked at Tommy and I told him "It's gonna be okay, Tommy."

And then everything went black. My memories after this are VERY blurry but- I think Dream somehow reverted my mind back to how it was during my Pogtopia corruption arc. And I had that itch in the back of my mind again. I'm the villain. Time to act like one.

... HECK THIS POST GOT REALLY LONG HUH... UHHHH ANYWAYS HOPE YOU LIKED IT IF YOU GOT THIS FAR IM JUST A V CANON DIVERGENT COMABUR >>

[spine-buster]

the storm before the calm (f. andersen) | 3

A/N: I continue to be baffled by the response to this fic.  It’s overwhelming!  Keep those canon questions coming!

TW: mention/explanation of EDs, EDNOS/OSFED

While alone in his hotel room one night, after most of the guys had left to go to a bar, Fred decided to conduct an in-depth search of Aleida Casillas.  He knew there were a lot of things she wasn’t telling him, and that he couldn’t really trust the word on the street from girls like Serena.  So he went digging.

The first links that came up were fashion related.  Things she wore to events put on by the Toronto International Film Festival, by Toronto Life magazine, by various other institutions in the city that always liked to have charity galas and fundraising parties so people with money felt like important, morally conscious philanthropists when they wrote $10,000 cheques for their tables.  There were a lot of pictures.  And she looked beautiful in all of them.  Stylish and classy and just plain good.  Everything fit to perfection.  He could see why she was a model – at least an apparent model – even though she never talked about it.  Her body was to die for.  People went under the knife to look like her.  

Other articles appeared from her past.  There was a photo of her as a teenager, posing in her school uniform, the kilt and blazer in full effect.  There was a family photoshoot when Hello! Magazine did a ten page spread of their newly renovated mansion in Rosedale, another spread from when their dad celebrated his 60th birthday party at the Shangri-La, and modelling shots from her Instagram profile and designers’ Instagram profiles.

World-renowned cardiologist, Dr. Felipe Casillas, and his wife, plastic surgeon Dr. Leonor Casillas, invite us into their home!

Youngest daughter Aleida, 17, who was just recently accepted into the University of Toronto’s faculty of music, poses with her older sister Alejandra, 21, recently accepted to the University of Toronto’s faculty of medicine, are pictured above.  Alejandra is keen to follow in her parents’ footsteps and enter the medical profession.  “It’s important to me to carry on the legacy that my parents have established in Toronto,” she says.  

Aleida, for her part, loves music.  “I think if Aleida could sing every day, she would,” Leonor laughs.  “She has been playing piano since she was a child.  Aleida is far from a doctor, so it’s only natural for her to want to pursue it instead of medicine.”

Fred was irked at the comment.  He clicked on other articles and read on.

Aleida Casillas, 21, poses front row at Alexander McQueen’s London Fashion Week show.  Casillas has just graduated with a degree in music.  “Perfect for serenading,” she flirts into our camera.

Click.

Toronto socialite and all-around beauty Aleida Casillas knows a thing or two about fashion.  After attending Branksome Hall with up-and-coming designer Genevieve Jones, the daughter of renowned cardiologist Felipe Casillas and plastic surgeon extraordinaire Leonor Casillas knew it was a no-brainer to support the designer as she launched her first collection.  She does, after all, have all the best connections.  Who wouldn’t want to attach themselves to Aleida?

Click.

TDOTDIRT.com: Aleida Casillas is hot – we all knew that.  But did we know she’s fuckin’ smokin’ hot?

Check out her tits in her newest modelling shoot for Genevieve Jones. Those nips poking through?  Nice.  And let’s not get started on her ass…

Aleida is probably the hottest girl in Toronto.  Too bad she’s got a stick up her ass.  

Click.

Aleida Casillas sits front row at the Genevieve Jones fashion show after modelling for the brand.

Click.

Aleida’s tight body—

Click.

Equestrian pursuits have always been a passion for the Casillas family.  Dr. Felipe Casillas, the cardiologist responsible for the successful quadruple bypass of former Prime Minister Brian Mulroney, brings us to the horse farm where his family’s horses are kept.  Left, Dr. Casillas’s youngest daughter, Aleida (15), poses with her horse Concordia.

Click.

Who wouldn’t want to slap Aleida’s tight ass—

Click.

TODIRT.com: Sent to us from a reader: If ANYONE ever runs into Aleida Casillas RUN THE OTHER WAY!!!!!  That girl is the BIGGEST BITCH in the city of Toronto.  She thinks she owns the city cause her family is rich!  I PERSONALLY saw her ruin a date right in front of me by FLIRTING with the guy IN FRONT OF THE GIRL!!!!!  She’s a heartless bitch!!!!!  And she thinks she’s such hot shit because she’s in magazines and models and is popular on Instagram, but NOBODY LIKES HER!!!!!

Click.

Aleida Casillas keeps her Cuban roots close to her heart.  She returns to Havana every year, where her family is one of the few who own a historic mansion in Miramar, to return to the place she has such find memories of.  

Click.

If u check the insta of @aleidacasillas she posted a story of her at the leaf game. she’s def in the wag section. is she dating someone on the leafs?

Who?

omg aleida casillas is at the leaf game. basically confirms she’s dating someone on the team.

Who is this girl you guys keep talking about?  Is she a known bunny?

Aleida Casillas is one of the biggest socialites in Toronto.  These anons are reaching.  If she was dating a Leaf, we’d know about it.  Trust me.  She’d make us know about it.  She has no shame.

Um okay?

Click.

Lock.

He was left more confused than when he had started – at least somewhat.  There was so much to know about her, so much that she was already telling him but so much he still needed to know.  More than anything, he didn’t know how he didn’t know her before this.  How it had to come to finding her crying in order to know who she was when she was already in the public eye and there was so much to find out about her.  

He sighed.

He unlocked his phone again.  

You have horses? he typed and sent off the message.  He had no idea how she would react.

I have one horse, Mars.  I’ve had horses.

Who told you?

I googled it

You must have found out a lot then

Nothing as important as what you tell me when we’re alone

God, he didn’t expect that to come out like it did.  He was a grown man who wanted to hide beneath the covers.

Well aren’t you a lucky boy

I didn’t mean it like that

I know you didn’t

My attitude doesn’t come through via text.  Sorry.

What are you up to?

Why haven’t you told me about your family?

Because I don’t think they’re very proud of me 

I don’t think I ever lived up to their expectations, but my sister did

And that’s created tension

At least to me

They try to hide it but I know they’re disappointed

I doubt they’re disappointed in you

You’re successful

No I’m not

Not like them

Fred stared at the message for a long time – probably too long.  Because before he could begin typing out a message – what he would say, he didn’t know – she’d already sent something again.

Go to bed Fred.  Big game tomorrow.

God forbid people find out I’m the one to keep you up, right?

***

Fred watched intently as Aleida walk into the café.  She was dressed in tight black pants, a tucked in black turtleneck, and a stylish brown plaid blazer.  Her hair was styled in loose curls and it bounced so effortlessly, like she was in a shampoo commercial.  Jewelry dripped off of her.  On her neck, a multistrand pearl necklace hung over her turtleneck, the diamond clasp holding it together shining bright in the light.  On her ears, pearl studs.  On her wrist, stacks of Cartier Love bracelets she had obviously put on recently.  On her fingers, a large emerald cut light green amethyst on a gold band on one hand; an equally as large emerald cut pale pink morganite ring on a gold band on the other.  

He shivered thinking about how much money she was wearing.  Why she was wearing so much money.  She approached the table and set her purse down on it – a Birkin, naturally – obscuring the view of what was on their table from the rest of the café-goers.  “Thanks for getting a table at the back,” she said, not even saying hello.

It was a point of pain for Fred that she was averse to being seen with him in public, unless it was at the backs of restaurants or cafes where very few people would see them.  He tried to not let it get to him, but it was proving hard.  “Yeah, no problem,” he said absent-mindedly.  “Why are you all…” he didn’t finish his sentence, instead deciding to do jazz hands to signify how dressed up she was.  Not that she didn’t dress up all the time – it was mostly a statement on the jewelry.  

“I met with my friend Genevieve,” Aleida revealed, sitting down in her seat.  “You must have heard about her in your readings.”

“The designer.”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head.  “We did some new shots of her new pieces for Instagram, which is why…” she held up her hands, jingling her fingers like he’d just done, and motioned to her necklace.  “Clothes are hers.  Jewelry is mine.”

“You didn’t want to go home and change?” Fred asked.

Aleida’s brow’s furrowed.  “Why?  Do I not look good?”

“No!  No no!  You look incredible—”

“Then why would I change?”

“I – forget it,” Fred shook his head.  “How are you?”

Aleida shook her head slightly.  There were a few moments where it looked like she was going to say something, but she didn’t.  She’d stop herself.  “I’ve been thinking about the stuff we talk about,” she began, getting right into it.  No formalities; no small talk.  “And I don’t…I don’t know why you’re still here.”

Fred was perplexed.  “What do you mean?”

Aleida sighed.  “I’m just not…” her voice cracked slightly.  “I’m not a good person.  And you are.  And I don’t know why you’re sticking around when it’s so obvious we’re like fire and ice.”

“Aleida, when are you going to get it through your thick skull that none of that matters,” he said, reaching over the table to hold her hand.

This time, there was no flinching.  But she did tug away, and there was a sharp intake of breath as his hand refused to let go, even after being dragged further across the table.  “Don’t do that,” she said, barely above a whisper.

“Why not?”

“Because if you do, I’ll melt into you.”

Fred’s heart skipped a beat at her words.  “What’s so wrong with that?” his voice was soft.

Aleida shook her head again, like she was trying to deny not only Fred but herself too of the nonsense that was coming out of her mouth.  “I can’t…I can’t…”

“Why not?”

“I can’t corrupt you.”

Fred looked at her like she was crazy, because she was really sprouting some nonsense now.  He didn’t know where she was getting this from – where her mind would go when she was alone and overthought things – but if this was the result of a mind too active to think rationally, he didn’t like it.  “You’re not corrupting anyone,” he stressed.  

“I’m too much for you.”

“Maybe you’re just what I’ve been looking for.”

Aleida continued to shake her head.  She was stubborn – he had to give her that.  And quite hard-headed.  “You’re looking for balance.  You said so yourself,” she said.  “I can’t give you balance.”

“Who are you to tell me what kind of balance I need,” he said back to her.  “Maybe you’re the balance I need.”

“Fred,” she stressed his name, “you don’t understand.  I’m not in a good place emotionally and I haven’t been for months – some would argue years – and –”

“Aleida, stop it,” he said firmly.  The stubbornness and hard-headedness were hard to get through but he could be that right back at her if she was going to be like this – putting herself to blame for things.  “I’m going to be in your life whether you like it or not.”

“But why?  Why?” she demanded.

“It’s not obvious to you?  I like you, Aleida.  Can’t you see that?”

She looked at him, bewildered.  Like he’d just grown another head.  “You like me?”

“Of course I like you,” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.  “You honestly think I don’t?”

“You – you mean you think I’m beautiful,” she attempted to correct him.

“No.  Well – yes – that too – but besides that.  I like you.  However you present yourself to me.  However you are.  I like you.”

Aleida looked mystified.  Like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  Like it was a foreign concept that someone could like her and want to be around her willingly without bringing her beauty into it.  He wondered what made her think this way – what made her think the only reason people stuck around was her beauty.  “Listen, Aleida—”

“Aleida?” a voice suddenly interrupted their conversation.

All the emotion drained from Aleida’s face as she violently tugged her hand away from his grasp and hid it underneath the table.  She looked up and noticed an all-too-familiar face at the waiting area of the bar.  Fred looked behind him to see a woman walking towards them.  Dressed impeccably – much like Aleida – except with less jewels draping off of her, although he still noticed similar Cartier love bracelets and a gold necklace.  Fred figured she didn’t come straight from a modelling shoot.  Although, the more he stared at her, the more he noticed similarities between the two women.

“What are you doing here?” the woman asked, a nice smile on her face.  She had beautiful, clear skin; long dark brown hair slicked back into a ponytail with a trendy headband; full lips painted with a neutral pink.  “Didn’t think I’d run into you here after you didn’t answer my text this morning!  I thought you might have dropped by the clinic.”

Fred looked between the woman and Aleida.  Aleida caught him staring, and when she did, she knew she would have to explain.  There was no way getting out of it.  “This is my sister Alejandra,” she explained quickly, with no enthusiasm in her voice.  “Alejandra, this is Frederik.”

Alejandra.  It took a second for Fred to realize that she was Aleida’s sister.  But after taking another look at her, and noticing their similar facial structure, noses, cheeks, and lips, he wondered why he didn’t see it sooner.  He cracked a polite smile.  “Hi.  It’s nice to meet you,” he said, extending his hand.  

“So this is Frederik Andersen,” she smiled, shaking his hand.  “You look different without your goalie mask on.”

Fred chuckled slightly.  “Yeah.”

“Sorry if you get that a lot.  When my husband found out Aleida somehow befriended you it was a big shock to us all.”

“Oh, that’s no problem,” he said.  His eyes flashed to look at Aleida quickly, who looked more nervous and uptight than usual.  “It’s nice to finally meet you.  Aleida has told me a lot about you.”

“Did she tell you she was supposed to come visit our clinic this morning?” Alejandra slightly laughed, shifting her attention back to her sister.  “Where were you?”

“I had a shoot.”

“A shoot?”

“With Genevieve.”

“You had a modelling shoot with Genevieve.”

“Yes.”

“Oh, alright,” Alejandra accepted Aleida’s excuse nicely enough.  She didn’t put up much of a fuss.  “Mom was wondering if you’re still coming to dinner Wednesday night.  She didn’t get a text back from you.”

“I’m coming.”

“Fred, would you like to join?” Alejandra asked.

Before Fred could even breathe – before he could even entertain the notion of getting dressed up, going to Aleida’s parents’ house, meeting them and interacting with them for an entire night like Alejandra was proposing – he noticed Aleida’s eyes bulge out of their sockets at Alejandra’s question.  “Fred has a game Wednesday,” she said quickly, answering for him.  

“Oh…okay then.  Next time,” Alejandra nodded, smiling politely again.  She focused back on her sister.  “Did you eat today?  Since you were supposed to come for breakfast.”

Aleida tried not to glare at her sister.  “I’m trying to eat right now.”

“No foam latte for Alejandra!” the barista called out, placing a large takeout cup on the bar.  Fred, Aleida, and Alejandra looked towards the cup before looking back at each other.  

Alejandra smiled at them.  “Guess I better get going – Oliver is waiting outside anyway.  It was really nice to meet you Fred,” she said, extending her hand one last time.

“You too.”

“I’ll have to have you over for dinner or drinks sometime, whenever Aleida lets me,” she winked at them.  “Take care.”

Fred watched as she walked out of the café, meeting with a man waiting that Fred could only assume was her husband Oliver before the continued down the street.  He looked back at Aleida, who was already looking down at her empty plate, not bothering to watch her sister.  “So that was Alejandra?” Fred asked.

“Doctor Alejandra Casillas-Rowe,” Aleida said her full name pretentiously, rolling her eyes.

“She was nice.”

“I guess.”

“You look like her,” Fred commented.

Aleida finally looked him in the eye.  She snorted at his comment.  “She looks like me.  She made herself look like me.”

Fred didn’t want to get into it.  There was obviously something there that he didn’t want to get in the middle of.  Relationships between sisters were notoriously…complicated.  He figured this was no different, especially considering the way Aleida was and what she had already told him about Alejandra living up to their parents’ expectations and Aleida not.  

Instead, Fred reached under the table to hold her hand again.  This time, she didn’t tug away.  

***

“This is the big boy who was looking for you that one time,” Frank, the drummer in Aleida’s band, purred as he was introduced to Fred at Aleida’s house during a “gathering” she was having.  He eyed Fred up and down even as he spoke.  “A very, very big boy.”

“Stop scaring him,” Aleida giggled, pinching the skin on Frank’s forearm.  

“Didn’t you?” Frank quipped.

“Apparently not,” she wiggled her eyebrows.  

“I’m here, aren’t I?” Fred added.  

“You are.  And believe me, that says a lot,” Frank said.

Fred felt Aleida snake her arm around his bicep.  He tried not to shiver at the contact – at the fact that for the first time, it was her that initiated the contact.  “He’s gotta meet everybody else.  We’ll be back.”

Frank scoffed playfully.  “But he’s a tall glass of water and I’m not done drinking!” he complained, giving Fred yet another up-down.  

“Goodbye Frank,” Aleida whisked Fred away.

As Aleida began introducing Fred to everyone, he made sure to keep track of their names and their instruments.  There was Frank, the drummer; and Celeste, the saxophone player; and Malakai, the trumpet player; and his twin brother Marcellus, the trombone player; and Oscar, who played guitar on a vintage archtop; and Gina, the bassist, both double bass and electric; and Aleida of course, the pianist and singer.  As he met them, they all gave him knowing looks.  

These were the members of Aleida’s band, The Havana Cats – her second family.  They had been with her since she was twenty, when they all met magically one night at some bar downtown and realized they all played instruments and had a nagging desire to start some form of band as a means to relax from stressful university workloads.  And they did – they formed a band and jammed in rented out studio space or in someone’s garage.  But then they got good.  Really good.  And then Marcellus got the bright idea to book them a gig.  And they played it and did really well, so the owner asked them back.  Again.  And again.  And again.  And then they incorporated themselves into a business, and got booked at bigger clubs and more exclusive events thanks to Aleida’s name, and soon enough, they were booked a lot.

And they stuck together.

Most had day jobs – Malakai and Marcellus worked for the same financial securities firm, Gina worked as a web designer, Celeste as a music teacher, and Frank as waiter in an upscale restaurant – but their real passion was the music.  They were booked most weekends, at either private events, galas – like where Aleida had performed the same night she met Fred – or the odd jazz bar in downtown Toronto – like where Fred had watched them last.  

Genevieve was at the party too, tall and statuesque, with an air of grace about her that Fred immediately felt the minute he was introduced to her first.  They made polite small talk – she asked about the team, he asked about her being a designer – before the band came over all in one go.  That was when things got hectic.  But despite everybody being there, treating Aleida’s townhouse as if it were their own, eating all the food on the island and playing all the music from the speakers, Fred knew that Aleida was surrounded by people she loved, and people that loved her.  

There were moments when Fred would watch Aleida and he knew she was happy – that the smile on her face and the slight crinkles of her eyes were signs of pure, true, genuine happiness as she was surrounded by them.  There were moments when their eyes would meet across the room and she’d wink at him and he’d wink back, and he knew she wasn’t playing a game – that the wink was a genuine, deliberate act on her part to flirt in front of people she was comfortable with.  There were moments when she’d come up to him sitting at the bar and she’d stand in between his large legs as he sat on a barstool, and her body would be dangerously close to his, and her fingertips would graze his thigh or he’d bring his own hands up to lightly touch her hips or lower back or backs of her thighs and a blush would overcome her cheeks, and he knew she wanted to be there – that she wanted to be close to him, physically close, and that her guard was down, which was why she was even doing all of this in the first place.  She must have taken the conversation at the coffee shop to her heart, because there was no fighting, there were no stupid excuses, and there wasn’t any confusion about the feelings shared.  

Fred was seeing the happy Aleida.  The true Aleida.  What Aleida could look like.  What Aleida was like, at her core.  Without…everything else around her.

It was the most attracted he had ever been.

The band began to argue about whether or not they should jam out a few songs.  Oscar had already picked up the acoustic guitar sitting in the corner and was strumming random chords.  Celeste was offering songs.  Malakai was shooting them all down.  Fred’s hands were cold as Aleida had walked away from him, leaving him unable to touch her and feel his fingers burning as he did so.  He watched her kick Frank off her piano.  A Steinway Model D Concert Grand, it cost over $150,000.  Most people didn’t even have them in homes, because of their size and the fact that it was a concert piano meant for a giant stage, but Aleida did.  It was her baby.  And it wasn’t for fooling around with.  So Genevieve was explaining to him.  

“Aleida’s a treat, isn’t she?” Genevieve was quiet as the band continued to argue.  The sound of a few quick piano chords filled the room.

“She definitely is.”

“You know, Fred, it’s really telling that you’re still here.”

Fred gave her a look.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“There’s a fire inside of Aleida,” Genevieve explained.  “Not many people are able to handle the heat.”

Leave it to a fashion designer to speak in metaphors.  What was the fire supposed to represent?  Her personality?  Her issues?  Fred wished Genevieve would just say what’s on her mind.  “I know she’s going through a lot, and she’s maybe been through a lot, but I’m able to look past the front she puts up with people,” he explained.

“I know you can.  That’s why I’m saying it’s telling you’re still here,” she clarified.  “It’s telling, because a lot of people know about Aleida, and they think they know her just because they see her or hear stories about her, but I’d hazard to guess it’s only the people in this room who know and understand and can see the true her.”

“So what’s that got to do with her fire?”

“Most people just feel the burns.  Only some people can see the fire, Fred.  And you’re one of them.”

Before he could respond, the familiar sounds of a song he knew all too well hung in the air and distracted him, making him focus instead on Aleida sitting behind her piano and on Oscar strumming the guitar notes.  John Mayer.  He watched as she closed her eyes and continued to sing, her voice deep and jazzy and soulful all at once.  Everybody in the room became mesmerized listening to her.  Oscar helped sing the second stanza, then it returned to her.

She and Fred locked eyes.

“Don’t say a word, just cover and lie here with me, cause I’m just about to set fire to everything I see…”

A shiver ran up his spine.

***

When everybody was gone, Aleida found herself nestled into Fred again.  He had to be a gentleman about it.  Despite being touchy feely all night, he had to ask to touch her before she agreed, and his hands were so soft and delicate as he did; and when he wrapped his arms around her, she couldn’t help but melt – do the exact thing she was scared of doing when she spoke to him at the coffee shop.  But she found it harder and harder to say no to him, harder and harder to be so hard and difficult with someone who was only so easy and delicate with her.  

And so as she looked into his big blue eyes, and felt the scruff of his beard along the backs of her fingers, in the depths of her mind she knew he deserved better.  Explanations.  

“You okay?” his voice was barely above a whisper.  

Explanations.  He needed more explanations.  He needed to know what happened to her.  What she had been through.  Other things that made her the way she was.  

So she was going to tell him.

“I had an eating disorder – well – I – I had trouble with food, and I had trouble with my body for a long time, because people paid more attention to it than they did me, and it really fucked me up for a really long time, and I think it’s the other major reason why I am the way that I am today,” she said, finally.

Fred’s eyes stung upon hearing her revelation.  He had never known anyone with an eating disorder, even though he knew the brain was a tricky and complex thing.  He wanted to be more understanding – not just for his sake, but for Aleida’s.  He assumed that she had probably told very, very few people about it – and a part of him wondered, knowing the relationship with her family, if she even told them.  As much as it was painful for him to hear, and as much as it probably took a lot for her to tell him, it was a privilege hearing it.  It meant she trusted him.  “Aleida…”

“What I had was an EDNOS – but now they call it OSFED,” she kept talking, needing to let it all out now that it was out in the open.  “It started my last year of high school…basically the day I turned 18 and was legal.  I wasn’t anorexic or anything – or bulimic – and I didn’t really binge eat often.  But I was obsessed with my body because everybody else became obsessed with my body.  I would think about everything that went into my mouth and how it would affect my body and how it looked.  Like, if I ate a kale salad would my stomach still be flat?  If I ate a donut would my boobs get bigger from fat?  It was all in an effort to maintain the beauty that people were so fixated on, because I was convinced by everybody around me that it was the only thing about me that mattered.”

Fred’s mind was racing a mile a minute, thinking about what she had to go through at such a young age.  He wanted to punch every single person who was responsible for making her feel the way she did; for making her think she was only beautiful and not anything else – a real, three-dimensional human being with needs and wants and emotions just like everybody else.  “How long have you been sick?” he asked.

“It went on for a couple of years before I got help.  It was the worst kind of psychological torture.  You have no idea.  But I finally told my parents – well, my dad, the one who isn’t a plastic surgeon.”

Fred’s mind began to race again, thinking about everything she had to endure.  The pain and suffering of being in a body she had a bad relationship with; the constant guilt of trying to nurture herself with food but fighting an internal battle with herself wondering if it was worth consuming; the harassment from people around her who only focused on the least important part of her; the self-hatred; the loneliness; knowing that everybody around her was obsessed with the one thing she didn’t want them obsessing over, and judging her over the one thing that didn’t need to be judged.  He was at a loss for words, and a loss for actions.  “I’m so sorry,” was all he could say.

She smiled meekly at him.  “You’d think that a doctor who sees Felipe Casillas making an appointment would know better, but apparently not.  The first doctor told my father it was a privileged disease,” she continued to confess.  She noticed Fred’s eyes go wide at what she had just said.  “He told my dad that I had been a bored teenager, and a bored adult, and if my dad gave me something to do, I would grow out of it.”

“That’s horrible,” Fred commented.

“I know.  I’m pretty sure my dad tried everything in his power to get the guy’s medical licence revoked,” she said, slightly smiling.  “I’m okay now, if you’re wondering.  But it was a struggle for a really long time.”

“You’re so strong,” Fred blurted out, the filter between his brain and his mouth non-existent.  “You’re so, so strong.”

Aleida didn’t know whether to believe him.  She didn’t know if she was strong.  She never thought about it.  Other things, unfortunately, preoccupied her mind, and her strength and how she overcame something like that never took precedent.  She almost let it destroy her.  Maybe it did.  

There was nothing left to say.  Fred and Aleida knew there was nothing left to say.  Words exhausted them – he knew he didn’t exactly speak much, but he didn’t need to.  Aleida’s words – the more important words – hung in the air around them.  They continued to just stare at each other, his blue eyes and her hazel eyes communicating things that didn’t need to be said with words.

Then, Aleida moved closer.

And closer.

And then, she kissed him.  And he kissed her back.  And it was soft at first – like everything else to do with Fred, Aleida thought.  And then she kept kissing him.  And kissing him.  And kissing him.  And he kept kissing her.  And kissing her.  And kissing her.  And soon Aleida didn’t know where her lips started and Fred’s began.  And she didn’t need to guess what he tasted like, because he slipped his tongue into her mouth.  And he didn’t need to guess what she tasted like, because she slipped her tongue into his mouth too.  And they kissed.

And they kissed.

And they kissed.

“Aleida?” Fred’s voice mumbled against her lips as they caught their breath.

“Hm?”

“You have to start doing things that make you happy.”

She made sure she was looking him directly in the eye.  “I already am.”

[telesthisia]

“Dear my beloved hero, my dear friend, Link, Champion of Hylia... hello, are you well? I am uncertain whether or not this letter will reach you... perhaps courage will find me this time and I will not hide it away with the others but. 

I miss you. I hope that you are well... I hope that you are enjoying your adventures outside of Hyrule...”

ALRIGHT Y’ALL NOW IT’S MY TURN WITH DEPRESSED CRYPTID PRINCESSSSSSSSSSS!!! If you haven’t already might I suggest checking out Blue’s post about how her Zellie is a swole 172 cm aka 5′8″ GODDESS!!! It’s quite the read but as with all her headcanons, it’s a fun read so def check it out if you haven’t already. BUT LET’S DO THIS!! For this pose I went with a simple cute one with Zelda holding a letter that’s addressed to Link. She has two years worth of unsent letters all to him, while the penmanship is neat in all of them there’s a lot of crossed out sentences in each one before she folds it up and places it in a small box that she hides under the bed. The one she’s holding in her hands is the last one before giving up on ever contacting him and wishing him all the best on his journey. It hurts how the only time they could ever have that same connection is when darkness strikes her kingdom, believing that the happiest she ever was is that dream sequence she has with Link in the manga... for their connection was the strongest she’d ever felt. Lining up with the 90s comic bittersweet ending, she feels lonely now that Link is no longer by her side since their duties keep them apart, but she believes in the future and believes it’s best to move on. ;v; alright more things under cut because I tend to ramble!

Midway through drawing this, I realized that my notes on the draws wouldn’t be easy to read, so I’ll put all my messy thoughts on Zelda’s appearance after the events of Oracles and ALTTP! My post won’t be nice looking, I tend to get a bit distracted when excited, blame the ADD and super sorry for that!! Keep in mind that Zelda’s main verse canon is three years after the events of ALTTP and a year after Oracles!

This is more of an art thing if anything and part of the messy notes I can’t add, but Zelda has a petite-pear shaped body. The shoulders and back are smaller than the hips which are wider than her shoulders. It’s something I gotta keep in mind when doing full body draws aaaaa! But her rare blood disorder has affected her growth, which is why she’s tiny (5′0″ my dudes but she’s 5′0″ full of love for you) and so freaking pale too. The paleness of her skin is meant to show that she looks a bit on the sickly side. I try to give her kind looking eyes that are big and wide!! And dark blue in color!! She has a bit of a sleepy look to it to make them look more calm and gentle!! Sadly, she’s physically weak and doesn’t have the stamina or even the heart power (Without triggering a fainting spell) to go body building for that sweet eight pack. The complexion she has is blemish and scar free because when you rich you get only the best skin care..... aside from the freckles covering her face. Makeup does make it appear lighter but when Zelda’s not wearing her royal get up the only makeup she tends to wear is eyeshadow and the blue lipstick! So those freckles? They’re there for the world to see! They cover her cheeks, the bridge of her nose, her shoulders, and back!! Noble kids used to make fun of her for her freckles but Zelda found a way to refute their teasings by insisting that her freckles were from when children of the fae would give her small kisses for luck! Her ears a little longer than most Hylians, it comes with being from the royal family and yet another hint to her divine origins. 

She is almost never seen without the little tiara she wears when in commoner clothing, the one with the three stones hanging from it! In truth, it’s a gift given to her by the oracles and their colors correspond with the oracles rather than the goddesses, which is why she’s wearing it all the time as a means to remember them. She loves those girls :’) while the bracelet is the same one we see in ALTTP! That one is a bit of an important piece of jewelry. It was a present from her father on her sixth birthday, when exploring the stalls of a nearby town yet affected by the sudden onslaught of plagues and droughts, she’d been fascinated with it and her father bought it for her because how can you say no to baby Zel??? It’s a simple fool’s gold bracelet with no design to it and you can find it anywhere, really, but she loves and wears whenever she can when wearing commoner clothes. Sadly, the maids in charge of dressing her up in her stuffy royal dresses would never let her go around the castle wearing that due to how cheap it is. And finally, the earrings and pendant of courage... I’ve mentioned it before but she’s always wearing the pendant. It was given to her by Link before Link went away on his journey and since then it’s become an important symbolic thing where it gives her courage she lacks. Hence why she wishes to give it to the person she marries so that they too can feel the same courage. With the dress I’ve designed for her, it’s more noticeable, but sometimes she’ll wear it under her clothes if she feels it wouldn’t match her outfit! And the Triforce earrings? Her mother’s!! She’s never seen without them, that’s like seeing Bayonetta without her glasses with the earrings pft. 

So something that’s fun to point out is her shade of blonde! Originally, she had a more golden tone to her hair color, hence why the close up with her eyebrows the color is super darker than the blonde (I tend to color them black but that’s the actual color of them, only reason why I color them black is because I love the contrast with light hair and dark eyebrows ;w;) we see in this draw! So, why’s her hair lighter? Well, Zelda suffers from a little something called Marie Antoinette syndrome. What the hell is that??? You may ask yourself and it’s more or less where the hair turns white from extreme fear and shock, it’s used in the realm of fiction since irl something like that can’t really happen. Due to the various stresses, traumas, and extreme fear she’s endured by witnessing the death of her father, the priest and countless others as well as being kidnapped twice and being used for sacrifice one time and nearly a blood sacrifice to revive Ganon another... well, it affected her mentally giving her trauma and physically all that stress poorly affecting her already bad health. So, the lighter her hair, the more stress she’s been through and that’s probably why whenever you see me draw Zel you’ll see her with pale hair... (I kinda want to make it white because that’s peak Ambercore BUT PLATINUM BLONDE IS CLOSE ENOUGH WE GOTTA KEEP THE BLONDE!!!!!) As always, the hair floofs are very important to her design! It’s what makes her friend shaped!!! That said, I just think it’s a very cute design choice hence why I kept it here! Her hair is longer than in oracles and ALTTP, growing it out to her hips and just above the tailbone! It’s super long, there’s no meaning behind why she grew it out this much aside from failing to keep up with it due to how fast it grows. The public, naturally, believes differently and as common with the mindset of those times believe that she has long hair to show her status as a member of someone who comes from wealthy background. She’s a little hurt by this assumption, really, as it implies she does nothing but brushes it all day as well as showing off her status when it’s actually neither of those things. The floofs, shows that it’s a bit on the messy side as proof that she doesn’t do that at all... but instead spends her days exploring ruined places of decay and death! 

The dress she wears is one of her favorite ones, she has dark boots underneath that goes up to her shins because I think that’s peak character design. The dress is two layers!! The first being the blue overlay and the second a plain old white dress with the collar showing off her shoulders, the cut of the collar is almost reminiscent to nightgowns, the sleeves are short and poofy and in the back is a ribbon, no real reason for that aside from me thinking that’s cute. In truth, I based her outfit off of historical dresses worn in those times for commoners. Their clothes tend to be more simple and Zelda much prefers to wear the dresses of commoners than her silken royal gowns with the heavy gold regalia. Though the pink dress she wears in alttp (and SSBU) is for more important events such as when she was crowned as the next ruler for the throne, she also has a wide wardrobe of various dresses which I will be basing off of Tudor era and a little later in 17th century.... 

In short.... I tried to make her as friend shaped as possible. 

[uncloseted]

1/2

1/2

1/2 Hi. I think I could use some help, I'll try to make this short. When I was 14yo (I'm 20 now) I dated a 18yo guy, thank God we were taking it slow and never made things official. Now that I'm older I can see that relash was rlly wrong. He was manipulating, used me to boost his ego, forced me to do things I wasn't comfortable doing and I think although we weren't official, he cheated on me? (more on that later). After a few months of fooling around, I found out something about him that I didn't like and confronted him about it, with the intention of ending that relash. He started begging me not to leave him, asking me tricky questions about the things I had heard of him with the intention of "making me realize" he did nothing wrong, and he even became violent with the person who told me those things, to the point I couldn't break up with him because I was scared. I just stopped answering his texts and calls because I was afraid of even talking to him and eventually he took the hint and suggested we broke up. We decided to stay friends, but that only lasted a few days, because one day, via Facebook Messenger, he suggested we got back together and I rejected him, so he blocked me. Months later, I had to close my Facebook due to harassment (not related to him) and opened a new one. Facebook showed me his profile in 'people you may know' and I decided to peek out of curiosity. Turns out, the moment we broke up, he started uploading photos with his new girlfriend. The descriptions of those pics said the exact same things he used to tell me, and I ain't good a math but I did some calcs and he had to be with her while still being with me lmao. I really didn't care, I was just happy I got rid of him, and I moved on with my life. Some time later I fell head over heels for a guy from my workplace, who I still hold close to my heart. I have trust issues and I am a very private person, especially with my relashs, so I didn't tell anyone about this guy except from like 3 friends. One of them was a girl (that we'll call Anne) who was like a sister to me, and was also friends with my ex. Over the next 2 years I had a relash with this guy, everytime I talked to Anne I used to tell her more details about my relash. Then, one day, I got a text from my ex. He texted me like we were besties and nothing had ever happened between us, like he didn't block me TWICE (yeah, he blocked me from my new Facebook too even though I never tried to reach out to him). I was angry at his nerve and told him so, he realized I was upset and changed his persona from confident and tough as nails to regretful and soft, telling me he was sorry for being so immature all those years before, but excusing his shitty behavior by saying he always "kept an eye on me". Um, wtf? He told me he was always asking stuff about me to Anne, looking out for me. I wanted to know what exactly he knew, but, trying to manipulate me again, he said he would only tell me if I accepted to play a game with him: I could ask him one question if he would ask me one in exchange and so on, and we had to be ttly honest with each other. I really didn't wanna get into his shenanigans but I only had one question (wtf do u exactly know about me, creep?) so I accepted. He asked his question first (dID u fEeL sAd wHeN i bLoCkEd U?) and I asked mine. I thought he maybe knew something about my school stuff and MAYBE that I had been dating someone else. Turns out he knew every. single. detail about my personal life. Not only he KNEW I was with other guy...

2/2 Not only he KNEW I was with other guy. He knew his entire name, the school he attended and every little detail from our relationship and other stuff about my personal life. Every single thing I told Anne, opening my heart to her, she told him. I felt terribly violated. I felt like a dissected frog, open for anyone to see my most inner parts. I felt ashamed, unprotected, sad and angry, all at the same time. I told him what he did was disgusting, to never reach me again or try to "keep an eye on me", and that I would make that job easier for him by getting Anne out of my life. He apologized, said he understood the situation, would respect my wishes, and wished me a happy life. I thought that was it. It took me a while but I got to heal, to feel safe again, although I still have a hard time trusting my friends. But I was wrong. Months later he sent me a Friend Resquest. I was a lil afraid, but tried to calm myself saying he probably just was checking if I was still upset, so I rejected the request and again convinced myself that was really it. But then he sent some girls to take pictures of me during my high school graduation ceremony and recently, his cousin (who was my friend when we were 14 but haven't talked since) texted me. I know that sometimes nostalgia makes you reach out to old friends, but we weren't close at all. Besides, he acted super weird, didn't even try to make small talk or let the convo flow naturally, but went straight for super specific and weird questions: are you studying college? what are you doing with your life? are you in a relationship? I was really weirded out and considered the possibility he may have been asking all those things because my ex asked him to do so, so I kept my answers short and vague, not giving him the info he wanted, and although I def came out as cutting, he kept asking. I tried to still be friendly because I didn't wanna seem paranoid, but I think he realized I wasn't telling him anything over texts, so he asked me to meet again over some beers with his friends on October 27th and that's when I stopped answering. I thought about that strange invitation for a few days until it hit me: October 27th is my ex's birthday. So much about respecting my wishes. I spent the rest of that month really nervous that cousing would try to reach out again, but nothing happened and I started to feel calmed again. Until, in November, he wrote me again, this time asking me if I wanted to go to the beach with his friends. I haven't even bother to open that text. Since them, I've been super paranoid. I know my ex's attacks aren't that consecutive (more like every two years: he contacted me and sent me that friend request when I was 16, hijacked my graduation at 18 and now sends his cousin at 20) but I can't help but think he's always there "keeping an eye on me" and planning his next move. I stopped accepting any friend requests because I'm afraid he will send someone for me, and if someone I already have on my friend list but idk texts me and after some small talks asks me about my life, I get paranoid and ask them why they wanna know and if they have some hidden intentions. Also, there's a mall near his house, and everytime I have to go there to buy something, I feel like crying because I'm afraid I'll stumble with him. I probably sound crazy. Some people may think I'm exaggerating and I should just let my ex stalk me and act all obsessed, but I feel dirty everytime I think about him knowing my personal stuff. It was just so traumatizing the first time. Do you get me? I feel like nobody gets me. Please help me, what can I do? I don't know how to make him stop, I'm tired of living in fear.

Not to start this off with an unrelated thought, but when did Tumblr get rid of its character limit on asks? I don’t think I’ve ever seen it let someone send in a message this long in one ask.

To get to your situation, I can definitely see why this would be a stressful and uncomfortable situation for you.  The first thing I would do is to stop interacting with your ex and people related to your ex.  You don’t owe his cousin anything.  Block both of their numbers, block their social media accounts, etc., and do that for everyone else who’s friends with your ex (or put them on limited profile/create a “close friends” list on social media).  Tell all of your friends in no uncertain terms that you don’t want them talking about you to your ex, even if it’s stuff that seems harmless, and cut those people off if they do talk to your ex about you.  

The other action you could take is to file a restraining order.  If you go down that route, you’ll have to fill out some forms and file them with the court, and then have a hearing with a judge where you explain your situation.  Then, you’ll have a second appearance in court where the stalker is present, and you both get the opportunity to explain the situation.  The judge will then determine the final order and the conditions of that order.  It can be a bit of an involved process, but it may give you some peace of mind.

The last thing I would suggest is going to therapy.  It seems like you’ve been through something traumatic, and a mental health professional can help you to work through that and move on from it.  There are many options for therapy, both online and in-person.  If you have health insurance, your insurance should cover at least some therapy sessions.  If not, some therapists provide services on a sliding-scale, and online services like BetterHelp can be less expensive than traditional therapy. 

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 503

Oh, Outlander. Le sigh.

On one hand, this episode gave me everything I’ve been wanting for 84 years a long time: Jamie and Claire, together, working as a team as the center of the episode. On the other hand, this very much did *not* feel like an episode of Outlander.

Bottle episodes are fine. The Garrison Commander, The Wedding and A. Malcolm were all basically bottle episodes. Two of those three are a couple of my favorite episodes of the whole series. This episode was like if the times the show decided to cosplay as a different genre (horror this time, rather than the political drama and military drama we’ve seen them attempt in the past) was dialed up to the point it no longer resembled an episode of the same show. From the music to the directing to p much everything.

This episode made me think that like if Outlander was a Venn diagram it would have Claire and Jamie working together as a team, them in the bulk of the episode, and a Good Episode™ of Outlander. You could have two but never all three.

(Also I hate horror movies. They’re just aggressively not jam.)

Ok but now that Marsali is Claire’s apprentice, can we have her and Fergus find out about time travel this season? Because in the books it’s like vaguely implied in MOBY but we never actually get to see that convo.

Also, yes, Marsali, Boston’s pretty rad. Not that I’m biased or anything. In addition to apparently “discovering” penicillin, we also invented Amurrica.

Shorter Claire’s VO: Idgaf about the timeline anymore. Don’t see how that can go wrong.

So was the blurry af title card Marsali practicing suturing? Why did they shoot it like that. It looks more like how they shot Mr. Beardsley’s POV rather than through the moldy bread covers or whatever it was through.

That whole intro part felt like it came from a different episode and was just tacked on to remind us that mold shenanigans are still a thing that is happening.

I do love Marsali, and her with Claire, though, but still.

SUPER SOFT FRASER FACE TOUCHING!

Ok so Jamie is only gonna do another cross burning when he calls his dudes to fight the English, right? Because he did the whole big thing like “I won’t light the flaming dildo again until we’re going to war” and now he’s raising the militia but not doing the fire part when they showed the new wicker dildo right there up high on the Ridge. So like, because that whole bit was about the men being loyal to him, he’s only gonna light it for freedom, right?

FLAMING DILDO OF FREEDOM

So Fergus using Claire’s list of medical tips as his note for the printer is def not going to come back to bite anyone in the ass. Nope. Def not.

Also I love that the whisky thing is Fergus’ thing in the show.

TEAM KEEP GIVING FERGUS AND MARSALI STUFF TO DO BECAUSE I LIKE THEM AND THE BOOKS FORGOT ABOUT THEM.

How many pigs is Marsali gonna butcher to practice her skillz? Also is Deadguy McWhatshisface still in the cellar somewhere?

Mr. Trouble! I love Germain a lot and would love more of him with Grannie and Grandda, pls and thx.

Also, would *love* some Bree and Marsali time. Maybe next episode while the bros are in Brownsville and they’re at the Ridge by themselves? Pretty please?

Ah yes, plantation jokes. In the time when those exist. And you’ve stayed at one. Come on, Bree.

Oh look, Jamie and Claire not keeping secrets from each other. Good. Well done, kids.

But they’re keeping it from Bree. Who, as the grown-ass woman at the center of the Bonnet bullshit, fucking deserves to know. So fuck y’all for not telling her.

She knows, I know that, but they think she doesn’t sooo, do better.

Lots of callback references from Jamie this season. The thing about his scars last week, Black Jack, the brand Claire cut off and his dad’s stroke this week. Ngl, the show is so different now that those references don’t even seem like they’re from the same series.

Gonna take this twin bit as an opportunity to remind everyone to watch Orphan Black.

Kezzie leaves-his-pants-for-the-kittens Beardsley, too good for this world. Too pure.

You come across a creepy fucking cabin in the woods, that you know is the home of a physically abusive fuckwad, and you immediately split up? Claire. Girl. You’ve seen horror movies.

OMG HAI CATS! I GOT ALL EXCITED THAT ADSO MIGHT BE ONE OF THE PANTS!KITTENS BUT ALAS. SOON. SOON, MY FLOOFER.

I fucking hate jump scares. Like I knew her face was gonna be in the window when Jamie turned back around, because this episode is the most trope-y horror short ever, but still. I fucking do not like horror movies, y’all, and jump scares are cheap.

Jamie on the other hand has never seen a horror movie and clearly doesn’t know that you DO NOT GO INTO THE CREEPY CABIN WITH THE CREEPY JUMP SCARE LADY.

Omfg with the banging door, it’s like they were like ok let’s read Making Horror Movies for Dummies and then put in ALL THE TROPES.

Also, this might be the one instance where the book name was better. Why the fuck would you name the goat Billy when Hiram is *clearly* a superior goat name.

CLAIRE. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING UPSTAIRS. YOU ARE THE GIRL WHO GETS KILLED FIRST IN THE HORROR MOVIE. WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. STOP BEING A DUMBASS.

Oh, hey, another jump scare. I’m both bored and annoyed.

Like we finally get an episode that is centered on Jamie and Claire. Together. Team Fraser. And it’s this nonsense.

I cannot with this show, tbh.

“Poor men bleed for rich men’s gold.” Two hundred and fifty fucking years later and it’s still true, Mrs. Findlay.

Did they borrow zombie noises from The Walking Dead for this episode? I swear to fuck every time Mr. Beardsley makes a noise I’m like uhhh, what show am I watching again?

“What you must have done to deserve this.” Yeah, like don’t @ me. I know abuse is fucking wrong. But you know what? This is fucked-up-past-times. Fanny’s out here by herself with no rights and no help. Go for it, girl. Fuck that fucker up.

This season on AHS: Beardsley Farm, the dulcet sounds of afterbirth squelching.

Here I was, all pleased that we were spared Breast Milk and Periodpalooza in the premiere. I should have known better. And yes, I know it’s natural and a part of childbirth, yada yada. I watch Call the Midwife and even *they* don’t fucking squelch it like that.

The subtitles spell Baltimore “Baltimoe” and now I have Another Op’nin’, Another Show from Kiss Me, Kate stuck in my head.

Is it too much to ask that the show find some way to demonstrate the past being The Worst™ that isn’t women and children getting abused or raped or murdered by shitty men? We already know men are shitty. Men are still shitty.

Like seriously, who the fuck does Mr. Beardsley think he is, murdering all his wives for not having babies, Henry VIII?!

“Having a baby doesn’t make me a mother.” Yuppppp. You do what’s best for you, Fanny.

“And your name is Sassenach.” And she’s not even like and “that’s a weird ass name.” I lowkey love Fanny Beardsley?

I still wish they skipped this whole thing though.

Omfg Jamie. BuT tHeY wOn’T bE wItH tHeIr FaMiLy. YOU *HAVE* TO KNOW CLAIRE’S RIGHT. YOU CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING THICK. NO SHIT THE FUTURE IS SAFER. Also, they’re fucking adults. They are their own family. You left Jenny. Young Ian stayed with the Mohawk. PEOPLE GROW UP AND LEAVE AND IT’S OK.

“Maybe she’s gone to find help.” Apparently Jamie *is* that thick. Really, bro? She left to find help? Really? Fucking dumbass.

“And we’ll seek Mrs. Beardsley as we travel.” “We won’t find her.” That’s a nice way of phrasing “You’re a fucking dumbass, she’s gone and claimed her freedom for the first time in her life. Let her have that, you fuckwit.”

The shot of the leaves blowing is literally like straight out of The Walking Dead.

Also loool at the birds.

Oh hey, next week we get all the dumb Brownsville stuff! And probs little to no Claire and Jamie. Exciting times.

[ultraclops]

Semi-Live Blogging: Finale Time!

With reaction images this time!

Adoradad

TRAINING EXERCIIISE

Adorabat's practicing her screaming! Bet that's gonna come in handy later.

"Fneh!" Wow what an introduction Eugene

His design is like? Really cool?? He looks practically nothing like Adorabat tho. And why does he have a spade on his stomach instead of a heart??

Badgerclops drew him with a giant ass mustache lol.

Adorabat takes banjo lessons? More importantly, Eugene thought she was at a banjo lesson FOR 8 MONTHS?!

"She scares me" lol

Adorabat ran away from home? Why?

"I thought you were a ward of the state!" Remember when everyone thought Adorabat was an orphan? Yea.

"I thought you were my conscience!" Badgerclops...you've lived with Adorabat for a year...went to her school...AND YOU THOUGHT SHE WAS A PIECE OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS?!

...why did Badgerclops use Adorabat as monster bait...

I expected to hate Eugene but he's actually really cute and interesting?? Aside from the fact he thinks Mao Mao & Badgerclops are criminals. Love to see him again sometime!

Wow her dad has a whole badass mansion!! Why doesn't she just stay there...

Oh...her mom died...that's why he's so protective of her and was so upset when she left. Also her mom looks amazing & I wanna see a flashback episode with her. For some reason I can imagine her sounding like a deeper version of Scoops?

Aww Adorabat's room is super cool! Also Eugene cracking the door for her asfgjkl

"Do you think that monsters attacking the city are gonna - wait, does that have peanut butter in it? " (Cuts to MM & BC eating ice cream while crying) That's a perfectly rational reaction to losing your adoptive daughter

"I can keep it together!" (Cut to Mao Mao trying and failing to shovel ice cream in his mouth with his helmet on) NSADGEDHAMADH

Wait a second. Mao's eating mint chocolate chip ice cream. ISN'T CHOCOLATE TOXIC TO CATS?!

"But you said I was part of the team!!" "Then you're...off the team."

Adorabat crying while showing Eugene the picture OUCH MY HEART...

"I used to go exploring in those caves with Mom all the time..." I'm guessing those are the caves from the promo?

"She wasn't afraid of anything!" " Well Adorabat definitely takes after her mother...

"And then one day, Sonara didn't come back with you." Ooh her name's Sonara!! Pretty!! I can't tell if they chose it cuz it sounds like Sonar or because it means "pleasant sounding"

Glad to see Adorabat's still a die-hard metal fan, even with Eugene

Oof Mao isn't taking this well at ALL if he's pretending Adorabat's molt is her...

OOH SHIT ADORABAT RAN OFF TO THE CAVES - wait a minute no she didn't. OH NO EUGENE WENT TO THE CAVES

Ooh there's Sonara's looking glass, bet that's gonna be important

Yay Adorabat saved her dad!

Damn Adorabat must be super traumatized after basically watching her mother die. No wonder she tried to murder Boba-Chan!

Oh the only way to stop the monster is by screaming!

(Mao Mao hears Adorabat scream) "ADORABAT?!" ADOPTIVE DAD POWERS ACTIVATE

Ooh her mother's figure appears over her when she says she's not afraid of anyone...maybe her spirit's inside of her or something?

REVENGE TIME BAYBEY

HOLY SHIT ADORABAT FUCKING MURDERED THAT THING

Eugene & Adorabat both apologized to each other I...

"You can't just leave without the most fearless member of the group!" YAAY ADORABAT'S BACK (Also how are we gonna explain to Eugene Adorabat's scared of the dark?)

"I'll mess 'em up real good! So good, their mommies and daddies won't be able to recognize them when I'm done..." Daaammmnnn...

"She scares me :)"

I wonder...is Sonara really dead? Or are they gonna pull a Kipo & have her still be alive but in a different form?

Badge-A-Fire explosion

Uhh...where is Badgerclops? And why is Mao Mao on the top bunk?!

Of course Badgerclops is petty enough to install a fake monster alarm on his laptop to wake Mao Mao and Adorabat up.

"This is a super-serious work meeting, as you can see by the fact that I haven't provided any snacks!" No snacks?! This must be a serious issue!! /s

"As you know, I am a creative genius. Sometimes there's so much natural creative genius that my brain overloads, and I enter a heightened state that I call 'Ultra Focus'..." Oh so basically like hyperfixation?

"...where I break into a creative sprint, inventing super-advanced technology at supernatural speeds, unparalleled by anyone in the entire field of science." Okay maybe only a LITTLE bit like hyperfixation...wait a second, IS THAT WHY BADGERCLOPS IS SO TIRED ALL THE TIME?!

Uhh did he get his arm stuck in the front door? HE TOOK THE AEROCYCLE?!

"...I forget everything the next morning." Remember my headcanon that Badgerclops represses his memories? Yea...

"Which is why it's not my fault and I don't think I should be criticized :D" TBH I screamed with laughter at this scene solely because of the expression he made

...HE GAVE THE SKY PIRATES THE GEM CELL?! I mean he clearly wasn't thinking right when he did it BUT STILL?!

"Oh hey, I told you I'd use that weird elevator thing!" Dude you LITERALLY used it in Ultraclops. What are you talking about.

"If the Sky Pirates had the Gem Cell, they would've used it already!" That is a fair point ngl.

Umm...did Badgerclops give Adorabat a BOMB?!

Tbh if my friend woke me up in the middle of the night with weird-looking eyes and handed me a timer while saying something about an explosion I would DEFINITELY not go back to sleep afterwards...

I'm sorry, IS THE WHOLE VALLEY GONNA BLOW UP?! WHAT THE HELL DID HE MAKE?!

Mao wiping Badgerclops' tears I'm

A paper towel dispenser? Well that's not that bad - IS THAT A GIANT PAIR OF PANTS?!

Ooh it's not a shock collar it's a translator!! That makes a bit more sense... "I HAVE NO REMORSE OR CONCEPT OF EMPATHY!" ...if the monster doesn't have remorse or empathy how does it know what those words mean...

Badgerclops keeps telling Mao Mao & Adorabat not to criticize him...hmm...I wonder who criticized his inventions that made him that way...*cough* HIS MOM *cough*

"Are all your inventions this weird?!" "YOU'RE WEIRD!!"

IM SORRY DID BADGERCLOPS BUILD A DANCING MACHINE INTO MAO MAO'S BONES?! HIS BONES?! AND HE MADE ADORABAT A SECOND MEGAPEG?!

What in the absolute hell is going on dgaadhdagdadga

Okay but when Badgerclops clutched his head and started shaking when Mao Mao asked why he made those things...I FELT THAT IN MY HEART I FELT THAT IN MY SOUL

Ngl this scene really hit home for me cuz that's how I act when I have a breakdown...

The timer went off but nothing blew up - WAIT, IS THAT A REPLICA OF MECHA HOSSORAFFASNAKEARANG?!

"Initializing Totally Humane Knockout Procedure." (Proceeds to slam the Sheriff's Dept. into the ground) ajdajdgdad

Ooh...ohh they're on some sort of water park...ride...thing??

"And if I didn't want us to get out, then I made sure we couldn't...with super-strong shoe things." But there isn't any on Adorabat, can't she just squeeze herself out?

Ooh I'm getting Pirates of the Caribbean vibes

There's the Gem Cell, it must be powering the ride! Also the robotic arm slaps Mao's hand the same way Mao slaps Badgerclops' hand in Flyaway skkkk

"My amazing creativity is finally gonna destroy us all..." "Hey, at least we'll be destroyed together!" Fair point, fair point

The shoosh returneth

"I always loved inventing." So he was an inventor ever since he was little? Daww.

YOUNG BC IS SO ADORABLE!! He has a lil medical patch instead of an eyepatch which is def more accurate to real life...but what's the vest for? Protection in case he falls? A pressure stim?

That figure's def his mom since they rejected his ideas & he mentions she was mean to him. Also the theory that his mom's a villain seems a bit stronger since they straight-up hand him a tool kid + a set of blueprints with no regard to his safety...

"Also there was a bunch of other kids at school and some other people throughout my life who mocked me relentlessly." THEN WHY'D YOU TELL ADORABAT YOU COULDN'T RELATE TO HER WHEN SHE SAID NO ONE WANTED TO BE HER FRIEND?! (Also I noticed literally all the kids are other badgers, so I'm assuming Badgerclops grew up sheltered like Mao Mao did.)

So the Ultra Focus is basically a really weird coping mechanism to deal with all the abuse and bullying he went through? Holy fuckkk

"They only made fun of you because they were jealous. Happened to me my whole life!" Umm...

"Even the dance chip I surgically implanted in your brain?" Excuse me the dance chip that you WHAT

"I love you-" HE SAID IT 💗💓💗💓

"I'm finally around people who love and understand me..."

Wait did the cannon misfire? DID IT BLOW A HOLE IN THE GROUND?!

OH HE ACTUALLY DID CREATE AN ANIMATRONIC BAND?! I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE!!

"Take it away, Boss Hosstritch!" (Distorted garbling)

Oof Mao caught all the water

"We hope you all enjoyed being Badgerclops' friend." 💞💕💞💕

Not that anyone cares but I noticed there's a picture of some of the Sweetypies on the monitors, meaning 1. Badgerclops tested it out using them first, or 2. Badgerclops just likes those Sweetypies for whatever reason. Tho that makes me wonder why he'd choose Pinky of all people...

THE SKY PIRATES WERE INSIDE THE ANIMATRONICS THE WHOLE TIME?! THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTE

Zing Your Heart Out

Why are they giving out rotten sushi??

"HOW DARE YOU LAUGH AT ME EATING SOMETHING GROSSLY?!"

Ooh god Chester's gonna be super freaking annoying in this episode, I can feel it.

"What's blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!" BAYBEY

Jesus what a prick. GET HIM MAO MAO

Ngl that background's really pretty...

Oooh no the Ruby Pure Heart's being weird again. Ooh no.

FUCK YEA ROAST HIM BABY - Did Adorabat's eyes turn purple because the Ruby Pure Heart gave her powers?

Oh so the siren in Badgerclops' robo-arm is a backup monster alarm?

More Sky Pirates - and the Pure Heart's being weird again...

"I'd tell you but despite your height it'd go right over your HEAD!" Asdfgghjjk

"For someone with two brains, you're not very BRIGHT!" EVEN BETTER

Kevin said he was raising money for a school trip, then for a trip to the hospital...which one is he raising money for?!

"SILENCE PANCAKE, LEST YE BE BUTTERED"

OOH NO SHE ATTACKED MAO AND BC

"IT FEELS LIKE THE WEIGHT OF ONE THOUSAND PLANETS!!"

"One second, I'm getting mad, and the next thing you know-" Is she freaking possessed??

Wait, is the Pure Heart TALKING to Adorabat?! How?!

Cluckins you don't ask people what's wrong with their eyeballs...even if there is something wrong with their eyeballs

"I CAN'T FEEL MY SELF-RESPECT!!"

The pure 'oh shit' on Marion's face when Adorabat turns to her

Half of the people she insulted showed up to her party! Didn't that mean she loved them?!

Oh god not this bitch again - nvm, thanks Adorabat

"Taking over the castle and ruling Pure Heart Valley forever does sound nice..." This is starting to remind me of that one AU where Adorabat turns evil, becomes the ruler of the Sky Pirates, then convinces them to kill Snugglemagne and becomes the queen of Pure Heart...she isn't gonna kill Snugglemagne, is she?

What did Adorabat tell Snugglemagne?! I WANNA KNO

Why is Pinky stealing teeth...reminds me of this

NO BC DON'T EAT THE TEETH

"I...hate myself! Therefore, I'm invincible!" So the trick to not getting your ego destroyed...is to not have an ego. Sounds reasonable.

"Your bug platter, my king?" Genderfluid Adorabat rights

"Mao Mao, your head looks like a CROW!" (Mao Mao caws) IT WAS A LIE HE ISN'T A CAT HE WAS A CROW THIS WHOLE TIME-

"It looks like a half-melted ice cream cone!!" That is...a strange way to describe your own neck...

"Well, I'm...bad (◡‿◡)" Kinda weird that the canonically depressed character can't even cleverly insult himself

...why does Adorabat's skin smell like old cantaloupe

OH SHE IS POSSESSED!!

HOLY SHIT MAO WAS GONNA FUCKING MURDER ADORABAT TO SAVE THE KINGDOM?! THANK GOD HE SAW HER JOKE BOOK, HOLY SHIT

Positivity outweighs negativity!

"WHERE DOES A 800 POUND GORILLA SIT?!" "Where ever it wants!◝(⁰▿⁰)◜" Curse you for making me laugh...

OOH NO THE JOKEBOOK! - Wait nvm Mao remembers Adorabat's jokes!

I think the reason they used that joke is because it represents Mao Mao and Adorabat - Adorabat is blue, and she wants to be like Mao Mao, who wears red. What is BLUE, and smells like (is similar to) RED paint?

YAAAY HE BROKE HER FREE FROM MIND CONTROL!! And did BC get Thanos snapped in the background?

"Thank goodness you're alright! We almost..." Fucking murdered you? Yea

"Might we have our crown and kingdom back, yes?"

"Sorry for being such a monster today." "You're a monster everyday." Is that a joke because she was today's villain, a reference to Sleeper Sofa or foreshadowing?

I hope Mao Mao and Badgerclops decide to investigate what's up with the Heart in Season Two, cause I highly doubt they'll let Adorabat getting fucking possessed go under the radar.

The visual gag of Mao trying to stomp out his ice cream cone like a cigarette is perfect. This is peak comedy everyone else go home

WHOOP CHESTER'S ASS GUYS

Strange Bedfellows

"So, your name is Boss Hosstrich, but you're not actually the boss?" How long did it take him to realize that

JFC Mao & Orangusnake are REALLY hellbent on killing each other huh...at least the deputies and the other Sky Pirates have common sense.

Hahaha nice Dragon Ball Z reference - and they both got crushed by the monster! Lovely.

...did Mao seriously think he died and went to heaven?

So does Orangusnake breathe through Tanner or do they both breathe independently & Coby can feel when Tanner can't?

Dang those skeletons remind me of the Steven Universe Future episode Growing Pains. And why is Lucky inside of Orangusnake? "THAT WAS MY LUNCH, JERK!" Ooh that's why.

"They're full of these tiny, little cracks or, as they're known in the medical field, 'whoopsie-boo-boos'." AGSADGASGADGDASG

Damn their skeletons are just gonna freaking evaporate huh...

"The doctor said I was very brave :D"

Ooh shit the Deputies and the other Sky Pirates met at the same elevator, are they gonna fight - nevermind, they're still calling time.

JESUS CHRIST ARE MAO & ORANGUSNAKE EVER GONNA STOP?!

"You don't have the guts!" "I have a million guts." That is...mildly concerning

"Yeah, I wanted to be a baker, before I realized I liked hurting people so much." Then why doesn't she just like, help Muffins or something?

Tbh I thought Ratarang was holding a gun and I'm glad it was just a weirdly wrapped banana

CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME. CONE OF SHAME.

"Aww, y'all shouldn't have - this is empty." "Just like my heart when you injure yourself!!" He loves him sm...💓💓

"Why didn't you bring me weapons?!" "Because this is a hospital, and I'm a good boy (◡‿◡ )"

"I really feel like this could be a turning point in their relationship." (Mao and Orangusnake proceed to try and kill each other again) *sigh*

Ngl Mao & Orangusnake constantly repeating themselves is getting super annoying.

That hospital bed beeping is giving me flashbacks to all the times I went to the hospital for seizures...

"You know y'all could live like this, like, all the time if you didn't go around hurting people, right?" "Pssh! Tsk-tsk, boy. You know I gots to hurt people." Uhh you guys should really listen to Badgerclops he knows what tf he's talking about

UUhh, whose egg is that? "MAMA" ASGagddahDh

Of course they had to land in freaking CEMENT to realize that maybe they shouldn't kill each other

Did Mao just deflate like a ballo- oh nvm there he go.

Boneless Mao. Boneless Mao.

And Mao saved Orangusnake!! By...breaking every bone in his body somehow.

"I'm the kind of hero who wants to save you so I can fight you later...at the right time and place." Just gonna file this along with the credit score scene from Perfect Couple in the 'Orangumao' folder.

Is Badgerclops duct taping Mao to the stretcher? I mean, at least he won't move & hurt himself again but geez

Tbh Zing would’ve made a better finale than this ep. At least it had a sequel hook

[jq37]

Ok thoughts on Six on Broadway fresh out of the theater (2/16; 3PM show):

First and most importantly it totally lived up to the hype that I've been trying and failing to not build up in my head since last year. And this might be the hypest audience I've ever been in. Everyone in line was talking like they already knew what was up and I saw a good amount of people in like crowns and space buns and stuff. And every single time a Queen got burned during the show, everyone “OOOOOOH”-ed like we were on Wild ‘N Out or something. 

While I was in line, I’m 95% sure I saw Toby Marlow sprint past me and then return 10 minutes later with a slice of pizza. 

I got a pin and I asked the dude for an Aragon pin and he was like, "Is that queen of the castle?" Like lol buddy welcome to your first weekend working at Six.

Before the show starts, they play pop songs but I assume with the keyboard set to organ or harpsichord sounds. The two songs I recognized were Truth Hurts and Havana.

If you’re here looking for intel on the seating situation, I had seats second from the top and way to the left and I still saw everything fine (and I am not a tall person) so I wouldn’t worry too much about where you’re sitting.  

Like I said before, it's such a hype show. Like even if you've heard the soundtrack or seen the show through ~other means~ I promise you're not ready.

Right when the show starts, they project out these Tudor rose projections into the audience which is a nice touch. It’s such a nice looking set in general with the lights in the back and the band up on stage. I really like how highlighted the band members are in this show as compared to other shows I’ve seen. It’s a hard job and I bet it’s nice to get the props. 

“Live in Consort” is the best pun in Six because it’s a reach but said with such confidence that you have to give to to her. 

"Donde esta my crown?" is already a funny line but it’s even funnier when you picture two British 20-somethings conceiving of the line.

Any time Aragon waves at the crowd, which is a lot, she Princess Diary waves which I love. 

A lot of people have had a lot to say about the American accents and it's honestly ridiculous. Like, we're already taking these historical figures so out of their original context that could hardly be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Like, Kathrine Howard can sing a Brittney Spears song but it has to be in a British accent? Come on. And I actually think some songs (like No Way and Get Down in particular) sound a little more natural in an American accent considering the artists they’re taking inspiration from.

I can’t believe they do this show without a break. This is like 90 minutes of pure cardio. It’s, “I’m getting exhausted watching you,” choreo. They didn’t stagedoor after and, tbh, good. Go lay down before the 8pm show please. That’s 100% what I’d be doing.

I have heard the Anne Boleyn intro before but it’s a million times funnier watching her actively peace out as she’s being talked about and then take a selfie and quickly stash her phone before the song starts. 

They really scrubbed as many of the “mate”s out of the show as possible which I get but I feel like I would have just left them alone since it’s such a common British-ism that I feel like people know. 

I was led to believe that in “Wearing Yellow to a Funeral,” Anne is cut off from calling Aragon a massive bitch but lol that was def a hard C and not a B they stopped her after. 

“What a weekend,” is also a killer line imo. 

Still wild that Elizabeth is never mentioned in this show except indirectly when Anne says when she had a daughter Henry killed her. 

Heart of Stone has def grown on me since I first heard it and Abby Mueller is obv amazing but it’s still weird to hear after a song about how this dude literally decapitated someone (“You’ve got a good heart?” Jane, what? Citation needed) and I think it’s good that it’s basically undercut immediately by the, “Severed head,” line by Anne. Also, I lowkey spent most of the song preparing for the cut to Haus of Holbein. 

I was not prepared for the cut to Haus of Holbein. 

Literally, I could not wipe the stupid grin off my face during the entirety of Cleves’ pre-HoH speech because I knew exactly the nonsense that was about to happen and it still surpassed my expectations. 

If I didn’t already know that Boleyn’s line was, “the whole of the Holy Roman Empire,” there is no way I would have understood any of that. The German accents during that scene truly do sound like they were told, “Do literally whatever,” and it’s so funny. 

Cleves’ throne rising out of the stage so she can sit in it is such a Moment.  

Brittney Mack’s operatic riff or whatever it’s called during the slow-mo part of Get Down is so, so, so fill the room amazing. Man it was so good. Also, I 100% did not realize that on the “take my fur” line, they breakaway rip her little jacket off and it’s this cool sparkly bodice piece under. Based on audience reaction, neither did they. 

I feel like everyone always talks about Boleyn’s energy in this show and they should because they’re right but--speaking for the Broadway cast--she’s for sure second to Cleves in terms of raw energy. 

During the roast, I think to Aragon, Howard strokes her cheek with the back of her hand which is super funny, as is her shaking her fists at the sky after the, “When will justice be served,” line to Jane.

Not a Surprise: I also Wasn’t Ready for All You Wanna Do. 

AYWD is the song I was most curious to see audience reaction to (w/ HoH being a close second) because, you know, it’s an ostensibly fun song except that it’s awful. But I think the mood of the audience kinda followed Howard’s. When she was joking around, everyone kinda felt like they had permission to joke around too--like there’s a part in the choreo that happens more than once where they put her hands on her and she shrugs them off and the first time it happened there was a laugh but when it happened again during the third verse when she’s clearly Over It and dancing in a really rote and exhausted way, no laugh.

(Sidenote: The juxtaposition of Cleves and Howard--arguably the most and least successful Queens--is always to interesting to me. The placement of such a “I’m so Dope,” song next to a, “My life was trash,” song. And, now having seen it, there’s a part in the Get Down choreo where all the other queens have their hands all over Cleves in a hyping her up kinda way and, as, in contrast, Howard is getting touched constantly in AYWD and it’s Bad.)

(Double sidenote: During verse four of AYWD, there’s a part where everyone walks in front of Howard and they duck so they don’t block her and Andrea like basically didn’t duck at all. It was lowkey super funny). 

Anyway, the breakdown was rough. By which I mean extremely good but rough to listen to. Like, I know it’s a part of the song so I knew it was coming but I’m so used to the studio version that listening to her full on sob through the last chorus was A Lot. You could feel the air sucked out of the room. Huge props to Sam Pauly.

So, iirc, in the West End version of the show, post Howard’s song is the fight which dissolves into literal hair pulling/having to break people up. In this version, it doesn’t got that far. They get to comparing miscarriages and the Cleves breaks it up and tells Parr it’s her turn. Then, she gets an intro to an upbeat sounding song that we never actually hear because she can’t bring herself to sing it. Then she goes into the same (or at least a similar) speech about, “We shouldn’t do this,” which leads into IDNYL.

When Katherine does the, “Katherine de Valois, I mean I don’t know,” line, Cleves looks at her like, “Bitch what?”

When Boleyn gives the, “Everyone notices that Jane can’t dance,” line, I didn’t catch Jane’s reaction like I wanted to because Aragon immediately breaks into a sidebar with her like, “Right? That’s totally true.”

During Jane’s verse in Six, everyone is actually pretty down with the Tudor Von Trapps line and then she says Royaling Stones and loses everyone. 

I didn’t realize that they did the same couples choreo during the Six that they do for Ex-Wives but I like that a lot. Very circular. 

It is extremely hard to not sing during a show like Six, especially once you’ve conditioned yourself for the past six or so month to start spitting out lyrics the second you hear any of these songs start. I really really hope they have Sing-A-Long tix at some point because I am willing to shell out for that and I think a lot of people in that audience would have as well.

Some random dude at a light say me holding my playbills and asked how I liked the show because he’d good things which, if an omen for the show’s prospects, is a good one. Opening weekend is probably not a fantastic gauge of show longevity because of course all of the hypest fans would be out now but if it can keep up this energy then man they’re gonna have a hit (well, a further hit). 

[rqs902]

.

a lin ran feature :’) i respect hes self-aware about his need to be more than cute to succeed. lin ran has always given me a vibe that hes very serious and tough on himself. he looks soft but has high demands and seems very determined to get what he wants.

im not worried about li hao bc hes surrounded by a bunch of kids who can teach him how to dance LOL not just lin ran but like jin fan and tianci too

what is this pole and could they not move it LOL

lol so jin fan and tianci did a flippy trick and we just gonna pretend like it didnt happen lol okay 

ugh so jin fan kinda got to do more dancing than other stages but i was still hoping itd be more!!! but man lin ran is really killing with his stage presence here

leave it to ycw to speak loudly and vocally about his friends being injured so people recognize their suffering

LOL lin ran’s sassy “im not stupid!!” but yea the third stage was really rough for him, so im glad he was able to recover 

LOL lin ran again casually threatening the production team to be like “please edit this stage well” “please don’t cut our segment short” LOL 

lol yea im not surprised at this point that li hao won even tho it shouldve been lin ran. youku is def making these rankings up. lol gjm did you even look at lin ran’s facial expressions???? lol making up excuses for youku wat

lin mo praising lin ran and giving him encouragement like a true bro bc he knows how hard lin ran worked for this stage. i wonder if he designed the stage rigging

AY I RESPECT OSCAR. hes a good kid and someone whos willing to speak his mind to address problems, thats awesome. they need someone to do that. he’s direct with the problems but also directly follows by complimenting them and saying how great they could be if they pulled through LOL hes still a kid so hes trying not to offend them but i respect his courage, warmth and dependability. 

LOL XUE EN DESTROYED FRANKLIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA and he goes all cutesy after like he has no idea the power he holds LOL but im glad they showed some footage of xue en also teaching the other kids dance. cto skills whooo 

ycw still bringing up shiwei? hes either very caught up in his feelings still (which is probably not a good thing at this point) or hes just a really dedicated friend... or youku is just purposefully using shiwei’s elimination for dramatic effect. 

im surprised they didnt highlight cxh more bc youku seems to like him, and conversely they gave xzx a ton of time for his stage and let xzx win. 

XUE EN IS SO HANDSOME 

okay i just needed to get that out of my system

but also im kinda glad syh is in this group bc hes the only one who i will not laugh at when singing this song. ycw and oscar talking about drinks and whiskey??? yall are babies?? also this song does NOT match this dance well at all. i see why they didnt like it when they previewed it LOL also i see now why i saw an edit on twitter of this dance over “retreat” from qcyn bc that song actually FIT the tie pulling move.. versus this im just like ??? seems so out of place?? 

also their voices all sound weird :\ maybe its just too high of a register for ycw and cxh? or maybe theyre just not very good at singing....? lol 

giving xue en the only multi colored tie? THEY KNEW. 

im just happy that the party group was able to make their stage so well that other kids were regretting not choosing them bc ycw was really struggling to get people to join him...

LOL CSP BEING SILLY TO ZHAN YU THIS IS THE FRIENDSHIP I NEED

LOL XZX AND LIN MO are adorable together 

im glad that they spent time to say zhaohao has improved, i feel like hes gotten zero recognition so far. i feel like ycw winning is the only win i am willing to believe so far. (couldve been xue en too tho) 

A FEATURE ON XIKAN’S FRIENDSHIP WITH LUO ZHENG omggggggggggggggg luo zheng the sweetest ge, leaving all the good things for xikan whatt ugh but luo zheng is like literally going actor route so sad that he still wants to be on stage but has no opportunities. im grateful theyre still so close that xikan starts crying just thinking about him 

xikan being involved in the stage design and costuming and all makes me think of lin ran but also makes me think of cai xukun. cxk always gets so involved in every little detail to seek perfection

interesting that they focused it all on zry and lxk........ but at least highlighted xikan’s fun side

lol they purposefully cut in fan yu screaming zry’s name and ycw yelling cyc.... 

but also tbh xikan’s voice was not very strong during his high note and i know hes giving 110% into his dancing so im guessing he doesnt have much air left at that point but i was kinda disappointed it couldve been better. BUT he still did a good job. i thought the part where they ripped off his jacket couldve been more impactful? but it felt like it was just randomly in the middle of the rap break and he doesnt sing again until much later so it was like why did you change clothes there? 

tbh this song isnt that exciting? so im surprised that they wanted it that badly? 

i saw spoilers that fan yu was gonna be there and its adorable and i love their friendship but lol zuo ye being like i shouldve asked all my gege’s to come.... lol aka they know its kinda unfair for fan yu to be winning votes for zry

im grateful all the trainees are supportive of xikan and they purposefully showed a bunch of popular kids cheering for xikan

gosh that injury on his nose, you know hes put too much energy and is too invested into his dance part when he rips his own face like that :\ 

i saw spoilers that renyu would win and someone did the math that it makes zero sense for their group’s score to be that low, but i didnt expect their score to be THAT low.... goodness wtf thats definitely rigged, i see why people were mad. 

renyu winning is either entirely rigged bc youku wants him to debut or people are really just voting for him bc fan yu was there and that’s not fair either. i love renyu (and his friendship with fan yu) but there’s no way renyu actually won that many votes on a stage where he didnt really show his vocals that much and he messed up his dancing and he was surrounded by kids who danced much better and wouldve made him look not great. this makes zero sense. and the fact that ycw is the only winner that made sense is probably bc youku was like well we cant make it too obvious that its all a joke. but really, its all a joke. 

yes i love that renyu worked hard and stayed up all night but can we talk about how xikan does that for every stage? and renyu’s just now started to do so. renyu just came into this competition less prepared, so his improvement is easier to see. 

i still think if youku wants to debut renyu, theyll kick out lin ran from top 7, but can we talk about how lin ran put in all the effort to design and perfect his stage? how he teaches others to dance and pushes his group mates to shine as a leader and how he has truly one of the most memorable and formidable stage presences on this whole show? people say the debuting group will need renyu’s voice but how can you really say that renyu fits and is prepared and deserves to debut more than lin ran? 

renyu is adorable and talented but let’s be real, as a vocalist, hes not like you zhangjing, hes not like zhao lei, hes not like zhao pinlin, hes not proven that he really fits to be a main vocal in a boy band. youku cannot force us into believing that he can fit that role without any evidence to prove his worth. its like theyre trying to jam someone into that role and its like renyu’s their closest bet, but even tho he still doesnt quite fit, theyre just gonna shove him in anyway. this is what happens when you only give attention to people who are dancers and dont give actual attention to people who are actually boy band main vocal material.... /COUGH ZHAN YU or even cui shaopeng?? 

how can you possibly believe that renyu got 173 but their average was 134? none of xikan’s groups numbers make sense: 

how did shengen suddenly drop so much? youku has been touting him this whole time into the top 10. shouldnt more of xikan’s fans voted for xuyu? bc he literally begged during the last elim for xuyu to make it this far. xuyu wasnt even dead last in the elim ranking but here he gets last place by like 15 votes??? when everyone else’s vote difference is like half of that at max? 

you expect me to believe lin ran only got 127 after he literally descended from the ceiling as an angel? that doesnt attract attention? how are both zuo ye and hu wenxuan so low? wenxuan was literally center and had bright pink hair, and in a song style that suited him, you cant tell me he didnt shine on this stage. xikan tied with xzx???? beneath a kou cong and su xunlun tie??? no way 

theres one week left and youku’s getting desperate to make it look like whatever they’re going to make happen will be a natural result, that this competition is up in the air and no one is safe, but it just seems very questionable to me. 

sooo does this mean there arent gonna be elims before the finals or what, we just dont see them announce who gets to perform? im assuming not all 32 kids will take part? and theres not gonna be a mentor collab stage? it wouldve been cool to see han yu and cheng xiao with the kids. there were 3 stages between the first and second elimination but no third elim and no mentor stage? its a mad rush to the end, honestly. 

oh well, we still love these CHILDREN 

ps: if youve been following my rants, i honestly feel like i have had a really positive impression of zheng renyu from the start and i really do like him. he makes really good songs and his voice is very nice and his friendships are pure and his attitude is commendable. 凄美地 and 當帷幕落下 and 後來的我們 are some of my favorite favorite songs to listen to from this entire show, like probably 3 of my top 5, and a good deal of that is because of renyu and his voice. but im just trying to be realistic and renyu is not in my ideal debuting boy band. 

[cafedisco3]

BOY’S CRY

Before sharing his story with the world and becoming one of the most important artists of our time, Frank Ocean was a high school graduate in New Orleans scouring for jobs to pay for studio time to record his potential projects. In August 2005, Hurricane Katrina wreaked havoc across the region, provoking Ocean’s move from New Orleans to Los Angeles, California. It was in California that Frank eventually found his opening into the music industry. Landing a songwriting deal, he began ghostwriting for many of the biggest artists we know today: Justin Bieber (“Bigger”, 2008) and Beyoncé (“I Miss You”, 2009). In 2009, he started working with Odd Future, specifically Tyler, the Creator - one of his best friends, who played a pivotal role in encouraging him to continue writing songs, but for himself. Through Odd Future, Frank was able to meet Producer, Tricky Stewart who eventually introduced him to an American Record Label: Def Jam Recordings. Though this deal was meant to serve as his platform for releasing music, out of frustration he released his first mixtape, nostalgia, ULTRA, for free download on Tumblr. Frank explained that he was frustrated with the label for not being supportive of his efforts after signing. Regardless of the heightened tension in Frank’s relationship with the label, this mixtape ignited the spark of his fame to follow. Frank’s pilot success with this mixtape allowed his standing to grow tremendously, eliciting feature requests from A-listers such as Jay-Z and Kanye West, but for the most part, Frank remained highly selective with his craft and unwaveringly loyal to Tyler and Odd Future. 

This origin story is only the tip of the elusive iceberg that is Frank Ocean. Since before the days of nostalgia, ULTRA, Frank has been selective with his public interactions. Once a ghostwriter for pop stars and then a secret weapon among Odd Future’s large roster, playing the background seemed to come naturally to him. However, the star within him proved too bright to contain. Still, since his rise in stature, rather than outwardly embracing the fame that was guaranteed, he chose instead to remain guarded with his art and protective of his image. Over time, this has allowed him to meticulously reveal himself on his own terms, using his art as a way to give insight into his identity. It was only when speculations about his sexuality began to circle through the hip-hop and pop community prior to the release of his debut studio album, channel ORANGE, that the once-guarded artist decided to become candid in a way he never previously attempted; on his Tumblr, through an open letter to his fans titled Thank You, Frank went on to reveal his bisexaulity:  

Credit: http://frankocean.tumblr.com/post/26473798723

I don’t think I’m exaggerating in the slightest when I say that this letter was a beautiful, poetic exemplification of love. In typical Frank fashion, it wasn’t an overt admission of anything, because there isn’t anything to admit. We are who we are, and according to Frank, that is “human beings spinning on blackness”. According to Frank we are a lot more alike than we are different, regardless of our race, cultures or sexual identity. He chose to focus on what makes us all similar as humans, and if he revealed or confirmed something about himself that wasn’t clear to you in the process, then so be it. His sexuality wasn’t the point of the letter. The letter was about empathy and love. The letter was about being human. In an era were child-suicide rates were increasingly linked to homophobia and transphobia, especially in black and latino communities, Frank used his story to humanize those who had been historically demonized. 

This letter birthed a chapter for Frank’s influence. When channel ORANGE arrived that following summer, these feelings of self-discovery through heartache and unrequited love reverberated all throughout the tracklist. The album itself was named after the summer detailed in his letter, the summer during which he first fell in love with another man. Frank dropping this album and his Thank You letter was powerful, valiant move. He cut through the lingering homophobia of the time and crafted a tale of perseverance and acceptance. This album allowed me, someone with completely different experiences, to appreciate his journey. He successfully detached himself from the increasingly materialistic world of the music industry and turned his art into statements that effectively captured the current state of the human condition.

There are two songs off of channel ORANGE that I believe are worth highlighting. The first is “Bad Religion”: 

Taxi driver Be my shrink for the hour Leave the meter running It's rush hour So take the streets if you wanna Just outrun the demons, could you He said "Allahu akbar", I told him don't curse me “Bo Bo, you need prayer,” I guess it couldn't hurt me If it brings me to my knees It's a bad religion This unrequited love To me it's nothing but a one-man cult And cyanide in my Styrofoam cup I can never make him love me Never make him love me Love It's a bad religion To be in love with someone Who could never love you I know Only bad religion Could have me feeling the way I do

This is a story of longing, of internal conflict and crippling self-doubt. With no one to turn to, Frank resigns to confessing his deepest, most closely guarded truths in the backseat of a taxi, and his thoughts betray the confidence that many of his fans may have prematurely branded him with. These confessional thoughts instead show him in his most fragile state, one in which he seems internalize years of homophobic rhetoric. The stigma that homosexaulity or sexual fluidity is a sin, is amoral, and requires prayer and absolution is so deeply ingrained in society that Frank doesn’t even flinch when the taxi driver basically tells him to pray away his desires. Instead, he chooses grasp onto the suggestion, wondering if maybe he should find a way to detach himself from the unrequited love that has brought him so much pain - whether through religion or drugs. This song is a heart-wrenching discussion of the internal struggle felt by Frank throughout the journey detailed in his letter. Frank’s lyrics expertly navigate self-hate and heartbreak, and his execution features a stunning vocal performance that evokes a deep, soulful pain that feels universally applicable to all humans. 

The second song of importance would be “Forrest Gump”: 

I wanna see your pom poms from the stands Come on, come on My fingertips, and my lips, they burn From the cigarettes Forrest Gump you run my mind boy Running on my mind boy Forrest Gump I know you Forrest I know you wouldn't hurt a beetle But you're so buff, and so strong I'm nervous Forrest Forrest Gump My fingertips, and my lips, they burn From the cigarettes Forrest Gump you run my mind boy Running on my mind boy Forrest Gump I saw ya game, Forrest I was screamin' run 44 But you kept runnin' past the end zone Oh where'd you go Forrest Forrest Gump

If “Bad Religion” - and “Thinkin’ Bout You” before it - were subtle allusions to his bisexuality, “Forrest Gump”, the penultimate track on channel ORANGE, would be the unabashed coming out party. In this song, Frank beautifully covers the timeless love story from the film, Forrest Gump, but through Jenny’s perspective - one that he clearly relates to on a visceral level. In the movie, Jenny and Forrest don’t end up together - but neither did Frank and his love at 19 years of age. In a very literal sense, Forrest Gump is used as a metaphor for a man running away from Frank - referring to the different paths taken by him and the man he fell in love - and this story is another example of unrequited love. But it’s uptempo nature and Frank’s equally light singing paints it in a much different light than “Bad Religion”. Here, there is no self-doubt and he seems to believe the experience of the fling was worth it. It’s the bright result of having grappeld with his emotions throughout the album’s more dark spots. This is essentially Frank fully submerging into his new lifestyle that he explains in his letter as being “a free man”. Similar to his letter, Frank is grateful for the man he fell in love with, regardless of the outcome. 

Despite this album being such a bold statement on his part, highlighting him as an artist that will stand the test of time, I’ve always felt as if its slow and melancholic vibes represent a shyer, younger Frank Ocean. Since releasing his letter and reinventing himself as a free man, the outward projection of his confidence has considerably escalated. Four years after channel ORANGE the fans were finally given a second and third album, simultaneously: Endless and Blonde. I personally cherished these albums, not expecting any new music for yet another few years, but just as I was getting used to the idea of no new Frank music, he released a single on his Beats 1 radio show, Blonded Radio: Chanel. Chanel was released in March 2017, and I can’t think of any way to describe the start of the song, besides epic:

My guy pretty like a girl And he got fight stories to tell I see both sides like Chanel

See on both sides like Chanel

 The Undefeated’s online music review of this song describes these first few lyrics in the following manner: “The boastful first few bars of Ocean’s new song might be the coldest, gayest, and most securely masculine flex in the history of rap. Elegant and mellow, the song’s lyrics read as a deliberate ode to duality and non-heteronormative binaries - an ambition, that since the death of Prince Rogers Nelson, is sorely missed in black music”. Whether I’ve convinced you or not, I truly believe Frank Ocean is an icon. He has made tremendous strides through his music and personal life and his consistently made choices that have positively influenced millions. As a visionary and genius, he’s stood out not only as a singer, but as a writer, a visual artist, and an activist. 

Credit: https://www.gq.com/story/frank-ocean-is-peerless