#this is A Joke but also i’m dead serious
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timeacola · 1 year ago
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F1 drivers ranked based on whether they fuck or not. Contructive criticism is welcome.
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thepersonperson · 3 months ago
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Sukuna is Peak Gap Moe. I’ll never be over this. This bastard talks tough, eats people, and kills like a woodchipper and yet…he is a poetic little sap. Getting mad over an improper haikus, the misidentification of flowers…and confessing his feelings to Gojo Satoru under several layers of wordplay no one except those well-versed in ancient Japanese would catch.
I've been over this in greater detail in Sukuna's Negative Rizz, but @tangsakura added more context in the replies to that post, making Sukuna's use of 凡夫 (bonpu) for Gojo even gayer.
In summary, 凡夫 (bonpu) can be translated as painfully ordinary or unenlightened. But in the individual kanji readings, 凡 is mediocre and 夫 is husband. You could read this as Sukuna calling Gojo his mediocre husband. And that's just the modern readings! The ancient readings...
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So you can read this line from Sukuna as the following:
“You were born in an era without me and hailed as 'The Strongest'
1) And yet you turned out to be…painfully ordinary.”
2) And yet you turned out to be…unenlightened.”
3) And yet you turned out to be…a mediocre husband/wife/spouse.”
4) And yet you turned out to be…the ordinary one who could stand by my side.”
Sukuna seems to be saying these things all at once. (It’s no different than the Megumi Activities wordplay he uses with Enchain. Alt. link if the Twitter dies.) Gojo apparently makes him feel very conflicted. He’s boring, he can do better, he shouldn’t even call himself the Honored One, he’s his equal, they’re married. The irony here is that no one except Sukuna can understand this.
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daisyjay887 · 4 months ago
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I’m rewatching all the most recent vids starting from pizza mukbang 2 I’m on the sims makeover /apology video and can I just say justice for pancake pancakes????
like this fucking cat has faced so much neglect over the years
like as a kitten she sat outside for DAYS because she was too small to climb the pancakes stairs. They just abandon her at museums and go “oh it’s okay she can figure it out” like I’m not a sims expert but I think it’s safe to say that it’s a fucking miracle this cat has survived cause the nine lives are running extra short rn
What prompted this post was that they just left her to run around in the city???At least she is ok now but JESUS CHRIST TAKE CARE OF YOUR VIRTUAL CAT. PLEASE
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seluneclerics · 9 months ago
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can i be cheesy for just a moment and say how much i love these two? for all BG3’s faults (it has many, particularly with how it deals with black/nonwhite characters but i’ll discuss that in a separate post), i’ve never felt this connected to a sapphic romance in a game like, ever.
the progression of tav’s relationship with SH is something so dear to me. watching this woman who’s been abused for the better part of 40 years slowly open herself back up the world and trust someone….
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i could write dissertations. essays. books. all about shadowtav. specifically wlw shadowtav.
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i’ll post headcanons about valeris/shadowheart if the mood ever takes me. i just… think about them forever. always. my favorite butchfemme couple
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faerygardens · 1 year ago
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I know this is being talked about w the qsmp but personally I think all twitch-centric smps should have server-wide mass banning systems, I think if you don’t know how to behave appropriately in one member’s chat it means you lose the privilege of being allowed in any member’s chat, I think this should be the standard and I do genuinely believe it has the potential to somewhat curb harassment and bigotry fandom-wide
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crippled-peeper · 1 year ago
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30,000lbs of Dino chicken nuggets recalled. what a cruel universe
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whyismangososour · 2 months ago
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mmmm billford twilight au with bill as edward and ford as bella
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mappingthesky · 4 months ago
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pj on the pitstop on the uneventful episode which included the romance between gottmik and vanjie = a very very very minuscule but not totally impossible chance that trix asks pj about her and nymph’s romance OH I FEEL SICK
ohhhhhhh ur so right for this… trixie asking pj about on screen romances since she has firsthand experience… asking her what she knows about hooking up with a castmate…. i can literally see it now
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emilydickinsonsghost · 7 months ago
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Whenever straight men try to convince me that I’m not really gay and I just haven’t “met the right man yet” I’m always like: “Yea sure I guess you’re right. There’s exceptions to every rule…
Soooo, are you perchance Hungarian musical actor Máté Kamarás circa 2005?No? Oh, ok, well then you’re flat out of luck, buddy, sorry! You can stop trying now. No really, please stop, you’re embarrassing yourself…”
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mandoshoney · 2 years ago
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you know the ep was bad when no fic writers were inspired by it
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cadmusfly · 10 months ago
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I keep
fucking up
the spelling of sabre
and I blame Fate and Star Wars for that
at least the joke ask blog’s characterisation is known for misspellings both because the “character” can’t spell and he’s too passionate/enthusiastic to spell properly
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velociraptorsaurusrex · 11 months ago
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i dont think enough of you are considering the fact that dennis probably listens to air supply
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bioshzrd · 2 years ago
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Heya!
I was just wondering what your Resident Evil gender and sexuality HCs are, if you've got any?
Thank you! :)
I THOUGHT I ANSWERED THIS BUT IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND OOPS
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this is silly / mostly joking but explanations in tags , also every single character I like is trans in some way shape or form
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roraruu · 2 years ago
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YOTO: April
Ignatz/Dorothea. Canon divergence/“no I’m not dating your brother”.
Derdriu was the last place Ignatz thought he’d ever seen Dorothea Arnault.
It was a momentary glance, as he left a client’s business on behalf of his parents. The gold jingled in his pockets, hitting against his thigh. His eyes trained to the ground, he focused on the salty, sour scent of the nearby sea, the cool winter air, the sounds of merchants advertising their wares and people passing and—
The softest, sweet tone took to the air. He listened harder. He knew that voice.
“Dorothea?”
A pair of jade eyes looked back at him, pleading and overjoyed.
“Ignatz?”
Dorothea is as charming and bewitching as she was in the academy. And she eats—her manners impeccable and conduct befitting of a lady—like she hasn’t seen food in a month.
The restaurant is warm and bustling. After noticing the cut of the dress Dorothea wore and her pale complexion, Ignatz requested a table closest to the hearth and speedily ordered a pot of tea.
She is all graces and thank yous, gentle inclines of her head in which her bangs fall into her eyes and she continuously pushes it behind her ears to stay away from her lovely mouth.
She explains, between a delicate sip of her tea that she had helped with the dispersal of the Enbarr Opera House and the Mittelfrank Opera Company, her alma mater.
“I wanted to help people.” She murmurs. “But…”
“I understand.” Ignatz says as another bowl of bread arrives, and with it another refill of the teapot with hot water..
“My finances aren’t exactly liquid. I managed to find a way from Enbarr to here. Bern was kind enough to convey me, without her father’s knowing, but she couldn’t come with me.”
“Why the Alliance?” Ignatz finds himself asking.
Dorothea’s face takes on a grave countenance. “I love Edie… Loved. But I cannot stand by while she murders innocents.” She says softly. “And the Kingdom did not seem much better.“ She forces, what he expects was to be a chipper giggle, but it’s a defeated chuckle. “I’d probably freeze passing over the border.”
“So you came here.”
“I had the pleasure of taking tea with Claude once or twice, and unfortunately, Lorenz too. They made this place sound beautiful.”
“It is quite breathtaking.” He says, glancing out the far-off window. If he squints, he can catch a glimpse of the grey sea.
“I crossed the Bridge of Myrddin and came here. Most of my funds are gone, but…” She forces a smile. “I’m here.”
“Are you going to stay with Claude?”
“My housing situation is… it isn’t fixed.”
“Well then you must stay with us.”
“Us?”
Ignatz nods. “My family.” He explains. “My brother is studying beneath my father to inherit the business—the Victor Trading Company—and he sends me out on small jobs.” He makes himself sound brighter. “Like today. I had just finished a commission before crossing paths with you.”
“I couldn’t impose.”
“Dorothea,” Ignatz says firmly. She meets his gaze. He notices that she’s grown thinner, her face pale. “I must insist.”
She heaves a sigh, reaches across the table and pats his hand. He feels his face heat. “At least… At least let me ask.”
Ignatz smiles. “Whatever you please.” He agrees and encourages her to take the last sweet bun.
***
A plan is worked out over steaming cups of tea. It takes a little lying—but with Ignatz’s newfound confidence—it is nothing more than a bent truth.
With his cut from the commission, he puts Dorothea up in an inn for the evening—specifically the Kristen Cottage run by his best friend, Raphael. When the jovial brawler sees Dorothea and Ignatz he pulls her into a bear hug and twirls her around. His little sister, Maya, almost drops her dishes upon seeing the famed Mystical Songstress herself.
Raphael closes the tavern, insists that Ignatz stay for a drink while Maya helps Dorothea upstairs and tends to her. They talk, and when Dorothea returns, she relays her story to the Kirsten siblings. At the end, Raphael asks the crucial question:
“So, what happens now?”
“Well, Raphie, that’s where you come in.” She says. “I need work. Have you any need for entertainment? I can sing, dance, I’ll even help in the kitchen!”
“But what about…” Ignatz falls silent as Dorothea grabs his hand beneath the table.
“Of course we do!” Maya exclaims happily.
“My, Grandpa hasn’t approved—”
Maya turns back to Raphael—she’s tinier than him but just as loud. “Raph! A former opera star in our joint? That would drag! The! Customers! In!”
Dorothea smiles softly. “It would…” she says. “I remember all of my best roles!”
Maya turns to Dorothea, eyes wide. “R-Really? Oh, even as Marguerite?” She asks. “She’s my favourite one of your roles… The songs were all so sad, I cried buckets!”
“Well I hope you have a pail,” says Dorothea with a wink. “if Raphie has me, I’ll sing them all for you.”
“Please?” Maya whines.
Raphael gives in. “Alright, of course.” He says. “But we can only put you up for a while. It’s sorta packed in here tonight. You could stay with us, we’re downstairs in the basement.”
Dorothea’s eyes grew glassy. “It’s more than I could’ve ever hoped for. Thank you Raphael.”
As the night drew to a close, Ignatz begins to say his farewells, promising to check-in on them the following day. Dorothea, unexpectedly, throws her arms around his neck and hugs him tight.
“Thank you Ignatz. For everything.” She whispers softly.
He feels himself blush again and promises anything for her.
Over the course of the next few days, in between Dorothea working tirelessly as the new—and showstopping headliner for the Kirsten Cottage—and Ignatz’s own duties keeping up client communications and other duties, they met a few times in the warm tavern.
It was after close and Ignatz comes for a sole glass of wine. Dorothea sits beside him, humming softly under her breath.
“Do you still draw?”
His ears grow hot. Guiltily, he replies. “W-When I have a moment of privacy, yes. But those moments are few and far between.”
“That’s sad.”
He remains quiet. “It must be gratifying to do what you love as a career.”
“I mean, look where it got me.” Dorothea muses. “Getting into Enbarr during the military lockdown was a nightmare, and then to break up my family… It was hell.”
Ignatz inclines his head. “I’m sorry Dorothea. I should’ve been more prudent.”
“It’s fine.” She says before tapping her nails across the table. “But…”
He looks at her encouragingly. She leans closer, glancing towards the kitchen where the Kirsten siblings clean up for the night. “Somedays I wished I never sang at all.”
“Really?”
“Mmhm.” She nods. “It’s… I love it, but constantly singing over and over… It takes all the meaning out of it.”
“But you do what you love.” He asks, surprised.
“Yes, and I get tired of it.” Dorothea says before hastily adding, “but I’m eternally grateful to Raphael and his family for giving me the work… I just wish… I wish I weren’t so tired of singing.”
“You…” Ignatz murmurs before meeting her gaze. “And it isn’t like you can afford to take a break.”
“No.” She confirms. “Unless I make up a paycheque in another way.”
Silence falls between the two.
“I still… I can’t believe you don’t love singing anymore.”
“I do it so much, the joy is stripped from it.” She confesses quietly to him.
The words stalk him all the way home and up to his room where he gazes at his painting tools before succumbing to sleep.
***
Ignatz’s mother—Cressida—and his younger sister a year his junior named Celeste—are more shocked when he says he’s met someone.
Cressida’s eyes widen and she lowers her teacup very quickly. Ignatz has always known his mother to be refined and ladylike: calm, quiet, watchful. He feels her brown eyes—the only thing he got from her—on him as Celeste prods him.
“A lady friend?” She smirks, at the age of 19, and still as annoying as she was at seven. “When do I buy a new parasol and lace and welcome a sister?”
Quickly, he insists, “She’s an old friend from Garreg Mach.” Ignatz explains, watching Celeste’s mischievous look.
“Probably some baron’s daughter. You could do worse, I suppose, Brother.”
“She’s passing through Derdriu.”
“Where to?”
“Gloucester. She will be singing for the Count and his son.”
Cressida studies her son’s face. He’s gotten too good with lying; for years, he’d fidget with his hands or look away… A small tic that would render him guilty. “She is a singer?” She inquires.
“Formerly of the Mittelfrank Opera Company.”
Cressida looks intrigued. “Oh. I recall seeing the company when they were in Derdriu before the war and when you were at the Academy.”
“You would have missed her. She was one of my classmates.”
Cressida remains silent.
“So why’s she talking to you?” Celeste prods. “If she’s some big opera star…”
“She confessed that she always enjoyed my company.” He lies. “And I enjoyed hers, so we have spent a little time together.”
Celeste smirks, then murmurs under her breath, “here comes the bride…”
“Celeste.” Cressida says quietly. Celeste stops humming and turns back to her eggs which are now cold.
Her brown eyes fall on Ignatz, encouraging him to go on.
“I would like host her for a meal.“
“Very well.” Cressida agrees. “Your father and Atticus will be dining out tonight, so bring her around.”
Ignatz tenses. The plan was to have both his father and brother around. Without him, his mother will never offer accommodations, at least not without a push.
So Ignatz, for the first time in his life, pushes.
“Might she stay the night?” He asks, his face reddening. Celeste’s eyes go wide as if she’s about to snort at him. “I would like her to meet Father.”
Cressida narrows her gaze on him. “Why?”
“I think they would get along, Mother.”
Cressida pauses, sips her tea and then acquiesces. “Very well. Bring her to the manor at five and no later.”
***
If there was ever any doubt as to Dorothea’s charms, it was dispelled in the moment she met Cressida.
Ignatz had always known his mother—like his father—as hard-to-please, but Dorothea was the most satisfying creature to her ever. Even Atticus, who had always been her favourite, was quickly forgotten when Dorothea engaged her in conversation.
As Celeste serves the coffee, she murmurs to Ignatz, “Okay, maybe I doubt you, but never again.” She promises. “She’s gorgeous.”
Ignatz acquiesces. “She is. And she’s quite kind.”
Little lies and bent truths are shared that evening. Dorothea explains that she’s passing through to sing for Lorenz and his father—the name drop impresses Cressida—and then she details her roles, and as they sit in the drawing room, Cressida insists that Dorothea sing for her.
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” Ignatz insists, turning to his mother nervously. “We wouldn’t want to impose on our guest…”
“No,” Dorothea says gently. “I’d love to sing for you.”
Ignatz thinks back to the conversation in the tavern. How she began to loathe singing. But as she sings her bars and warms her voice up, Ignatz cannot help but long to paint her. Those jade eyes, that chestnut hair, the willowy frame and ruddy cheeks… She is an artist’s dream, walked off the canvas.
She sings beautifully for almost a half hour. Cressida is highly impressed and gives her ready approval, and even Celeste is shocked when Dorothea proves not only to be witty, beautiful and talented, but also kind.
Cressida insists that she will stay the night and tells Ignatz to set her up in the east wing of the house, prefacing that she may see the lovely sunrise that pales in comparison to her beauty. After they say goodnight, Ignatz offers her his arm and leads her up the staircase.
She reaches for his hand and smiles at him. She gives it a reassuring little squeeze, and he gives one back. As they reach the top of the stairs, Dorothea whispers to him:
“Will you show me your paintings?” She asks quietly. “I know art’s a personal thing… I don’t think I could ever show a half-finished song to someone else…”
“Y-Yes…” He finds himself taking her hand and leading her to his room. The moon streams into through the lone window of his sombre little room.
He turns to the closet and pulls from it a few sketches and his tiny easel which has a half-finished still-life of the view outside his window. Blushing and embarrassed, he practically throws them at Dorothea, hurriedly insisting that he knows they’re not good, that they’re nothing special.
“Ignatz…” Dorothea barely breathes. “These are beautiful.”
He looks up in shock. “B-But…” He scrambles for words. “I was so insensitive to your feelings about art!”
Dorothea smiles gently and touches his hand reassuringly. “Ignatz, I’m not me, and you’re not you.” She says gingerly. “We’re different people with different outlooks… You want to become a painter, right?”
He nods sheepishly.
“Then I hope, with all my heart, that you can become one someday.” She turns her eyes back on a sketch of Saint Cethleann. “You’d be a wonderful artist. I’m certain you would be.”
Ignatz blushes softly and moves closer as she asks a question about the next sketch—of Saint Cichol, his wife and their daughter—and he explains the details. His hand brushes against hers, their fingers intertwining briefly—
“And who is this?”
Ignatz jolts at the deep voice, his blood running cold. His face goes red. In the doorway is his elder brother, Atticus. Dorothea glances his way and smiles softly, curtseys and introduces herself as the evening’s guest and her credentials.
Atticus studies Dorothea before making a comment beneath his breath about his “useless drawings” and leaving the two. Dorothea’s smile fades.
“He’s exactly the type of man I’d hate to be with at the opera…” She whispers to him. “And exactly the one who’d pay for a dinner with me.”
Ignatz’s stomach rolls with anxiety.
Dorothea steals a glimpse at his expression and laughs softly. “Don’t worry, I’m not dating your brother.” She promises.
“Thank the goddess…” Ignatz whispers.
She hugs him. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”
He hugs her back and smiles. “Anything for you.”
He shows Dorothea her room, and upon returning to his, takes charcoal to paper and attempts to sketch the likeness of her face, falling asleep in his art before long.
***
Ignatz’s father, Augustus, makes quick decisions. It is, perhaps, what has kept him in business for so long, and flourishing for just as long. And that morning, when Ignatz nervously introduces the two, he immediately takes a liking to Dorothea.
She turns on the charms quickly, and as she’s about to collect her bags and return to the Kirsten’s Cottage, Augustus asks to see her in his study. She winks at Ignatz and he waits nervously outside, in the drawing room with Celeste as the plays the piano.
When Dorothea emerges, she wears a self-assured smile. Ignatz quickly gets up and meets her in the hallway.
“Your father says the garden is pretty. Will you show me?” She asks.
“Of course.” They go outside to the frosty garden and walk a few paces away from the windows.
“Well?”
“Your father… he asked that I shadow you. He thinks that we could be a good selling team.” Dorothea says. “What do you say, Iggy?”
“Iggy?”
“You needed a nickname. Your name, though it is handsome, is a bit imposing and long.” She says. “You okay with it? You can call me Thea, if you’d like?”
“No no,” He declines respectfully. “Your name is too beautiful to be shortened.”
She smiles softly. “You think so?”
He nods. “I do. And as for the partnership, I don’t think I could ask for a better match.”
Dorothea smiles, and then stands on the tips of her toes and pecks him on the cheek. Ignatz goes bright red.
Gazing at her, he smiles and confesses, “I don’t think I could either.”
***
In Imperial Year 1185, on the day of promised meeting, Ignatz Victor and Dorothea Arnault arrived at Garreg Mach Monastery together. The three years since their reunion in Derdriu had proved fruitful: Dorothea joined the Victor Trading Company as a sales agent, working alongside Ignatz. She easily used her wit and charms to seal deals with particularly hard-to-please clients. She’d also passed on that charm and confidence to Ignatz, which his former classmates noticed immediately.
In addition to his newfound confidence, Ignatz had gained a deeper reverence for his artistic side. After being found one night attempting to paint Dorothea’s likeness, she modelled for him. His parents, finally understanding the depth of his talent, allowed him time off—though minimal—to study and paint.
In their moments of peace, it was said that Dorothea and Ignatz would share their talents together—Dorothea, who had retired from the stage, would sing only for him, and Ignatz would happily draw anything she wished.
After the war, when Dorothea completed an opera—called the Crimson Flower, based upon her late, dear friend—Ignatz was the one to paint the posters and served as creative consultant. While not singing, Dorothea directed the opera to critical acclaim, and acted as a guardian to the new talent she selected for the show.
When the two had grown tired of the stage, they departed for new lands. Ignatz’s work, which grew in popularity thanks to the production and his own skills, was in demand and often peddled by Dorothea. It was often remarked, by friends and complete strangers, the couple were an odd, but well-suited match.
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starlooove · 1 year ago
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It really pisses me off when y’all like. Meme-ify and defang hate groups to the point that y’all don’t take them seriously and then get confused when real shit starts happening. Like the way y’all’ve started talking about trump on this app makes my ass itch
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When someone tells you to stop buying manga
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How disappointed I am. So very, very disappointed.
And yes, I used a manga panel to get my point across. 😂🫡
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