#this is 4000 words

[pinimi]

Armand orchestrated Madeleine’s death because she so easily outcunted him. Absolutely no effort just laughed him in the face at his questions “yeah I can live and be mentally stable for eternity. what, like it’s hard?” she said skill issue if you can’t handle killing as a vampire. Every night Armand has seven different existential crisis and Madeleine sleeps soundly without a shred of guilt WHILE ALSO looking dead drop gorgeous and being funnier than everyone around her. Armand had to take her out early. He never stood a chance

[dr3amfyr-e]

brat. - j.v. ( w. 4.5k )

꒰ in which the boy you see every summer enrolls in the same university as you. ꒱ — modern!jacaerys velayron x reader

୨ ⎯ i cannot stress enough, football means ⚽️ not 🏈. childhood-friends-to-lovers, but you have to get through my 2000 word psychoanalysis and backstory first. light angst. mention of the death of a parent. lots and lots of talk about the velaryon-targaryen-hightower family dynamic. light make out action. reader's family is implied to be wealthy enough to have a summer home. almost everyone lives au. set in the uk, not westeros. omitted daemon rhaenyra marriage because there’s no way to to make it even semi-normal. realizing now i omitted daemon entirely erm sorry. pushing the laenor agenda bc he’s my favorite character. this is abhorently long. extreme overuse of the em-dash. uhh the perspective is wonky in a few places. part two. ⎯ ୧

i had to write this twice. i'm offering this to you with shaking hands, like a peasent child begging for coins. i may write a part two because i have more to say, but i don't want to figure it out rn.

On the cold January morning that Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen was born, the media went into a frenzy. 

The Targaryens were old money, their fortune rooted a century back in good investments. Historically adept at finding their way into things, the empire had a string to pull in every industry. From art and law to technology and shipping, if business prospects looked good there would be a Targaryen investment.

And then there were the dogs — regal greyhounds, with long, thin bodies and sleek coats. The Targaryens bred them as far back as bloodline records went. The pups were never for sale; sometimes they were used as show dogs, and successful show dogs they were, but more often they were pets. It was a status symbol, to nonchalantly own such a coveted creature. 

The Targaryens were idolized in the public eye. They were all stunning, with sharp features and silver hair, and each member of the family seemed to possess a Midas touch. But, where Valyrian blood ran hot, so did the press. It was no surprise when magazines started to turn a profit from silver heads plastered across their glossy covers. It was the price that came with God-like aristocracy.

From editorials to gossip columns, people devoured the insider life of the untouchables. When Aemma Targaryen died, there was a four-page spread in nearly every magazine; complete with pictures and quotes. Business papers filled with opinion pieces about Rhaenyra’s inheritance claim to her family’s empire; magazines exploded with the announcement of her engagement to Laenor Velaryon, and subsequently Viserys’ marriage to Alicent Hightower, the daughter of his lawyer. 

When Jacaerys was born, reporters lined up outside of the hospital doors. There were cameras and microphones and crew trucks, and Rhaenyra hated it. It wasn’t the way she wished to welcome her child into the world — swarmed by people who didn’t know nor care for him.

Laenor had always been good at navigating the attention, and Rhaenyra was constantly grateful. So, when he pulled his gaze from the babe and steeled himself to deal with the onslaught of reporters outside, tears pricked at her eyes. Appreciation, exhaustion, adoration? She couldn’t be sure. 

Looking down at her son, she thought, he’s perfect. He had a smattering of dark hair, and he was quiet but not concerningly so. Wispy lashes fell upon his cherub cheeks, and when he eventually blinked up at her his eyes were dark. He looked nothing like her — she didn’t care. 

She refused to talk to anyone outside of her family, and had the curtains in her private room drawn. To expose her son, her heart, to the prying eyes of the bored masses with nary a care for his well-being was a nightmare. She wouldn’t have him exploited. 

At the time of Jacaerys’ birth, she and Laenor had been married for a little over a year. Laenor’s father, Corlys, managed the bulk of the import and export for Viserys’ company. Corlys was a good man, he hadn’t dreamed of marrying his son off. But Laenor and Rhaenyra were both in the same impossible situation: the wiles of youth mixed with the ever critical public. 

They had both fallen into scandalous relationships, both preyed on by paparazzi. If they married one another, it would save face for both of their families. Plus — both being the eldest and heir, this would clear the expectation of a dignified marriage. They agreed to leave each other to whatever youthful fun they wanted to have, as long as everything was discreet. 

Both the Velaryons and the Targaryens kept a summer home in Dragonstone, a private community in coastal Wales. It was the perfect place for Rhaenyra and Laenor to begin their life — far from her father, close to his parents, and out of the line of sight for any nosy journalist. 

The public eye had looked to other things by the time Lucerys was born, two years later. Again, Laenor dealt with the small gathering of reporters with the utmost grace, and Rhaenyra submitted a written statement. 

Alicent divorced Viserys that same year. 

As she watched her boys grow up, full of energy and life, Rhaenyra thought, there was no one better to parent with than her best friend — a title Laenor had rightfully earned. They hadn’t had much choice in knowing each other, and they certainly would never have chosen to be married, but he made a bearable roommate. They had things in common; they liked the same music, and the same men. They drank the same wine and frequented the same restaurants. And, they both loved their boys. 

As Jace and Luke grew up, they found the best company in each other — the school in Dragonstone was so small, though, that there were very few other options. They both played on the school’s small football team, and Jace took piano lessons while Luke learned to fence. Where Jace was driven by emotion, Luke was level-headed; where Luke was cautiously quiet, Jace spoke his mind. It was an ideal childhood, the Welsh coast was an idyllic backdrop to grow up upon, with the sea in their backyard. 

They were ten and eight when Joffrey was born, both excited for their new brother. Their mother brought him home, bundled in a soft red blanket. The boys sat on the couch beside Rhaenys and stared at him for upwards of an hour. 

Hardly a week had passed when Harwin Strong died. He was a family friend, a frequent presence in their home and life — Jace and Luke had been upset by this, of course. 

In time they came to understand the situation fully. Jacaerys first, fitting the pieces together with the evidence he found in the mirror. Neither Rhaenyra nor Laenor had dark hair, like he and his brothers. 

His matriline was uncontestable though, as he grew into himself. He possessed the same nose, jaw, brow, and high cheekbones that Rhaenyra wore. The comparisons between the two became more frequent as he grew older, and he found himself to be quite proud to look like her. 

Her attitude lived in him as well, the temperament she had been so notorious for as a girl festered in her eldest son. She had once been christened ��The Princess of Dragonstone’ after flipping off a reporter at their summer home. Jacearys earned it for himself when he was fifteen, after loudly berating a reporter. He had been defending Luke, but no one seemed to care when they deigned him ‘The Prince of Dragonstone’. He took it with grace, claiming that he couldn’t help but be his mother’s child.

It instilled a sense of public propriety he strove to uphold. 

Rhaenyra remarried the same year — to Alicent Hightower — and moved her children from Wales to London. It took a while to adjust to the new life — Jace liked his new school, but he detested his step-brothers. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come around to the idea of living with Aemond and Aegon, who took so much pleasure in making he and his brothers miserable. 

After the first month, Jacaerys fell in brilliantly. He performed well in school, quickly being enrolled in the advanced literature and history courses. He got on well with his peers, and made a number of friends. He joined the football team and spent his Sunday afternoons learning piano concertos. 

Living in London made him a more publicly prominent figure in his family's legacy. He knew how to play his role as heir; he carried himself perfectly — confident and charming and elegant. He didn’t particularly like being in the public eye, but there was a certain sense of satisfaction when he did something to receive positive public attention. 

King’s Landing, much like where he had grown up, was a community reserved for the upper echelon. Situated in Northwest London, and surrounded by wrought iron gates, it was regal and dignified. The house had high, vaulted ceilings, large stained glass windows, and more than enough bedrooms. It rained more, Jacaerys noticed in the first month. When it had rained in Dragonstone he would watch the droplets bounce off the sea, where it lapped at the sandy bay. Here the rain splattered unceremoniously upon the pavement. 

For as wonderful as life in London had turned out, Jacaerys found himself longing for what was left behind in Dragonstone. Laenor lived there still, and while he called often and visited as much as he could, it wasn’t the same. Jace’s childhood bedroom remained, along with all of the memories in the house he grew up in. And his friends. There was an assortment of people he only saw between late May and early September; the children of the other seasonal residents. The number had dwindled in years past, with fewer of them returning for break — favouring more interesting places, like Ibiza or Rome, as they got older. 

Far too few of his childhood friends he kept in contact with, especially after the move to London. You were the exception. 

He was grateful, on days when it stormed in London, to receive a silly text or too-long voice note. It made things feel less dull — you had a way of doing that. 

He took to reading theory around the time he turned seventeen. It’s queer theory, at the suggestion of his cousin Baela, who lent him his first Judith Butler book. He finished it that weekend. 

His aunt Laena and her two daughters lived in London, and Jace found a close comrade in Baela. She played competitive tennis and listened to riot grrrl, she was much cooler than him and he knew it. Her bedroom held two massive bookshelves, and she let him pillage her collection for De Bouvier and Didion and Gay. Hours were spent lying across the floor in Laena’s house, studying, or reading, or talking. He enjoyed Baela’s company more than any of his school friends, favouring anything with her over anything with the boys from his football team. 

His youngest sister, Visenya, turned one around the same time. Baela, staying with Jacaerys while he babysat one night, inducted him into the eldest daughter club. 

“You’re so keen on driving your siblings around, and taking care of them. Plus, aren’t you your mother’s closest confidant?” She asked. 

True, Jace supposed. He was the oldest of Rhaenyra’s children, and the most responsible of his brothers and step-siblings. His mums both worked full time, they were busy but as involved as possible. Jace just did the menial things. He made Joffrey breakfast, picked Luke up after school, and watched Visenya when necessary. He didn’t mind.

Baela argued that he should mind. 

He had been a sensitive child, more so than his brothers, but it made him incredibly emotionally adept as he aged. So many boys his age prided themselves on stoicism, but that was never something Jace felt connected to. He always felt things too deeply to bottle them up — it accounted for the occasional temper that flared up when he was upset, but also how empathetic and kind he was. 

Jacearys was set to graduate with honours in the first week of May. It was three months before when college acceptance letters began to appear in the mail. He had applied to a number of places, and been accepted everywhere. The University of the Vale was where his hopes hinged though. 

Just after Valentine's Day, it showed up. The envelope was wide and stuffed full, and sealed with a wax stamp. His acceptance letter was on the very top of the stack of papers — the thick paper heavy in his hands, as he admired the blue printed border and silver flocking. 

Rhaenrya sorted through the informational packets while Jace reread the letter. Part of him couldn’t believe it was real.

He sends you a picture of the letter, and you respond in kind with one of an identical nature. 

You hadn’t planned to go to the same university, but it certainly was a happy coincidence. 

After graduation, he was beyond excited for the reprieve that Dragonstone granted. The promise of early morning hikes, and evenings spent on the beach — the once empty house, full of life and bustling with bodies. 

You were the first thing Jacaerys thought to look for when he set his bags down in the summer home. 

It was late May, and you were guaranteed to be out of school. I’ll text after I unpack, he thought, pulling clothes and books from his suitcase. 

His room in Dragonstone had once been his childhood bedroom. The walls were a warm tone of white, and the small bed was still covered with his blue and white checkered duvet. Piano scales and pictures of his brothers and friends adorn the walls. There was a soccer trophy on the back edge of his desk, something he had won when he was eleven. It was stuffy from nine months of stagnance, but familiar all the same. 

He pushed the curtains back from the window to let sunlight filter into the dusty room, gazing down at the beach, when he spotted your figure. He was quick to rush downstairs, out the backdoor, and across the stone path that leads from the patio to the beach. He greets you with a call of your name and a tight hug, sunglasses perched atop his head and linen shirt half buttoned. 

It had been a year since he’d last seen you. You had kept in touch during the school year; Jace favoured Snapchat and FaceTime, delighted with the pleasure of seeing the mundane things you were up to. There was a nearly constant text thread, and voice memos passed back and forth. But, it all paled in comparison to physical company. 

He abandoned his housekeeping duties, keen to sit on the beach and talk. And you did so for hours, about everything and nothing. He tells you about his last year of school and listens as you do the same. When the sun dipped past the treeline, he leaned back on his elbows, watching the water crest on the sand. He felt more at ease than he had in a while, enraptured by the ease of your presence. The conversation flowed, there were no awkward lulls and no pressure to talk about something dignified. It was comforting to be so close to someone who didn’t see much of his life in London — you knew the best version of him. 

Your friendship had always felt like that, from a young age. On days that smelled of sunscreen and sea salt in his mind, you would meet in the mornings and depart past dark and then do it again the next day, never tiring of each other. Your parents knew his, so you had always been welcome in his home — invited or not. You had shared a bed during sleepovers, drunk from the same cup, and fallen asleep on the couch during movie nights countless times. Quick glances and imperceptible expressions were a language you communicated in, reading each other without words. In your presence, Jace was the most comfortable.

The summer slipped away as it always did, taking long nights and leaving memories of sand and sunshine. The days were ambled away in the water, on rocky hiking paths, or in the meadow that sat a mile away from all of the homes. 

Jace had started The Hobbit before school ended — most days he found himself sprawled out in the park or on the beach, reading. He had also taken to running with his dog, Vermax, in the mornings. He relied on the serotonin boost to start the day, and with no football to play a jog was a decent alternative. 

When the summer drew to a close, the typical melancholy that befell the return to the real world wasn’t present in Jace’s mind. He presumed it had everything to do with the fact that he would see you every day now

You have one college class together — a nine a.m. medieval literature discussion. 

Clinging to familiarity in the new environment, he glued himself to your side for the first week of classes. He memorized the way to your dorm, meeting you outside every morning to walk together to your first lessons. The meandering conversation was a good start to the day, and he silently relished in your tired eyes and quiet voice, not yet used to the early schedule. 

On Friday he all but begged you to come back to his dorm after the discussion; it was your only class that day so you had given in. You hadn’t seen his living quarters yet, and he wanted to spend time with you, worried for when your schedules would fill up and you would lose room for each other. 

The discussion had been mind-numbing. You reviewed the same syllabus as the lecture, and went over the same rules and policies as every other class. With the thirty-five minutes remaining, the teaching assistant made everyone watch an incredibly monotone video about the history of medieval England. 

Jace linked his arm into yours in the hallway after class, pulling you to the doors. The cool morning air was refreshing, waking you up more as you walked across campus. His dorm building was new and modern, seventeen floors with grey siding and big windows. It was private housing, clearly expensive. 

He had a single room with an adjoining bathroom and a small common space. The walls were typical dorm white, with laminate wood flooring. Joffrey’s school photo is hung on one wall, the frame clearly decorated by the child with glitter and string. Scattered across the other walls were photographs in thin silver frames, a large world map, a clock, and a cross-stitch of a rainbow stag beetle.

Sitting on the couch, you observed the unframed photos that lay across the coffee table, inspecting a leggy grey dog as you plucked it from the pile, “Who is this?”

Jace leaned into your side, gazing at the photo, “My mum’s dog, Syrax,” He reached over you to tap the picture, “Syrax is my dog’s mum.” 

He slipped his hand into yours as you walked with him to his second class of the day.

In the third week of school, Jace asks you to attend a mixer for a pre-law society with him. He doesn't know anyone, and doesn't want to be alone at the party. You meet at his dorm at a quarter-to-six so you can walk to the event together. 

The dress-code is emi-formal, and when he opens the door to you his hair is slicked back with water and he smells like his cologne — musk, sandalwood, and amber. 

“Are your clothes pressed?” You ask, grinning at his freshly ironed slacks and the three buttons undone on his shirt. 

He rolls his eyes, locking the door behind him as he escorts you down the hallway. The walls of the elevator in his dorm are mirrored, and you laugh at him when you catch him taking pictures of himself. He makes you take one with him, and sets it as his lock screen. 

The mixer was in the dean of law’s massive house, buzzing with young people in smart outfits. Jace abandons you about fifteen minutes in, spotting a group of poli sci majors from his social psychology class. 

From his childhood spent between galas and his mother’s business meetings, Jace was good at navigating these situations. He was charming, leveling the professors with charismatic smiles and confident posture. He was good at holding an intelligent conversation, discussing theory and strategy. 

You were on the patio, watching the stars, when he found you an hour later.

His arms brushed yours as he leaned against the railing, “Sorry for leaving you,” His voice was quiet, and he stared at your profile, watching the way the moonlight illuminated your skin. 

You wave his apology off and make him buy you coffee in recompense on the way home. 

You’re stood talking together on the quadrangle a few weeks later, a cup of hot chocolate warming your mitten-less hands, when you realise just how cold it’s gotten. It's just too cold for the thin jacket that you try to sink further into, hiding from the wind that bites at your delicate skin.

Jace watches you shiver, observing your lack of appropriate attire. 

“Are you cold?” He asks, reaching out to run his hands up and down your arms, half to warm you, half to gauge how thick your jacket is. Not very. 

You nod, “I didn’t check the weather this morning.” 

He sighs with exaggerated exasperation and slides his arms around you, careful of the paper cup you held. Of course, he’s worn the right coat, and you feel the downy material of his hood against your cheek as he rubs your back to generate some warmth. You smell the cologne on his collar and the expensive shampoo he uses; he grumbled something about taking better care of yourself. 

Then, one particularly cold Friday morning he has forgotten his coat. Dressed in a hoodie, he mirrors your excuse from the week prior, smiling sheepishly — face flushed from the chilly air, dark curls blowing around his head like a halo. You take pity on him, slipping your scarf off. You loop it around his neck, tucking the ends down into the collar of his sweater, and leave him with a fond peck on the cheek; his skin is cold. 

He's appreciative, though the scarf does little against the cold wind cutting through his sweater. Still, he doesn't give the scarf back. 

With the cold, comes midterms. You’re the first person Jace asks to study. 

Your dorm room is closer to the central part of campus, and thus a shorter walk in the bitter cold. Jace brushes snow out of his hair as you unlock your door, ushering him inside. It's small. Two twin-sized beds, one on each wall, with nary enough room for two bodies between them; a desk is crammed into the small space between your bed and the window. You let him take the desk, spreading your books and notes out across your bed.

Your dorm is old, and the room has very little ventilation. Despite the frigidity outside, the room is stuffy and almost hot with both of your bodies inside. An hour into studying Jace shrugs off his heavy, knit sweater and pushes his glasses up into his hair. 

“What are you working on?” You ask, leaning forward. You’re bored, working on the same power point you started yesterday. You want to talk to him, though he doesn’t seem keen on the idea

He doesn’t look up from typing as he speaks, “Analysing The Art of War.” 

You shut your laptop, bent on distracting him, “The book?” 

He nods but doesn’t give a verbal response. 

“Who's that by?” You ask, fighting to suppress a grin

This time he does look up, glaring at you over his glasses, “Sun Tzu.” 

His tone is short, but it's amusing to annoy him so you grin, suppressing a giggle, “Sounds very interesting.” 

“What do you want?” He asks after a beat, still holding your gaze. 

You shrug, “Nothing. I’m bored,” 

The next time you study is even less productive, school work discarded on his floor in a matter of minutes. 

“We can’t be trusted to work together,” He tells you, watching as you calculate his astrological chart, geometry homework forgotten. 

You attend your first college party together in November. When you arrive at his dorm, he’s dressed much more casually than normal. 

You reach out to tug at the thin silver chain peeking out from his shirt collar, “This is fun,” You tease, giggling, “Aiming to impress tonight?”

He rolls his eyes in mock-offence, turning you around by the shoulders to shove you out of the doorframe. 

The lights in the house are dim, and they strobe slowly through different colours. It’s too dark and too bright all at once. The music is almost unbearably loud and people are packed in like sardines, it’s all incredibly overstimulating. 

When he senses your unease, Jace takes your hand, pulling you tight against your side to lead you through the throng of bodies. He’s looking for someone, but you’re unsure who, and he canvases the whole space before giving up on finding them.

The backyard of the house is quieter, but the ground still vibrates from the bass of the music. People are scattered about, smoking cigarettes and sipping from bottles of cheap beer. 

You both learn what Jell-O shots are, and make out in the bathroom back at his dorm. It’s not the first time you’d kissed each other, trying it a few times in your adolescence just to see what it was like. But this is different, tipsy and sloppy, as you giggle into his mouth. 

It's forgotten in the morning, when you wake up in his bed still dressed in your going-out clothes, head pounding.

But then it happens again, the week before finals.

You had stayed at the library far too late studying, leaving the pair of you to walk back to his dorm in the dark. It's positively frigid, cold December air whipping snow into your face. 

There are still snowflakes in your hair as you shed the thick coat you’re wearing, pulling off your gloves and hat. 

There's a bottle of wine in Jace’s freezer, left by Aegon the weekend before. It's expensive and rich and red, and Aegon would likely skin you if he found out you were drinking it — but, that's part of the fun. There's a baking show on the small television, and you’re curled into Jace’s side to steal some of the warmth from his body.

When the program lulls he brings his hand to your hair, combing through the tangled strands. You pay it little mind, leaning into his touch as you watch a contestant on-screen whip macaron batter. His fingers slide down to your jaw, turning your head so your eyes meet his. He’s studying your face, cheeks flushed from the wine or the cold. 

The attention is odd, and you giggle nervously under his gaze. His hands come to cradle your jaw as he leans towards you, nose brushing yours. The air is charged with an unusual tension, his mouth a breath away from yours. 

When he kisses you, he’s slow and gentle, his whole body angled into yours. Everything feels warm, a welcome contrast to the weather outside, and you chalk it up to the glasses of wine coursing through your bloodstream. 

It's pleasant, different from times past; this certainly doesn’t feel like an innocent, experimental kiss. It's heated, tinged with passion. He uses the placement of his hand to ease your jaw open, tongue sliding slowly into your mouth. 

There's a vibe, something you hadn’t felt before with him. It's communicated through the gentle touch of his hands, and how his breath hitches when you kiss him back with the same sort of force. 

The moment is broken by the announcement of a winner on the television. His hands slide down, resting on your shoulders, pulling your frame into his. 

You don’t talk about it afterwards. 

[calmparticles]

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[hers-underwraps]

࿐Thoughts on Octonauts main 6 duos .࿐

[NOTE: these are MY hc's/opinions -> please don't kill me]

[ANOTHER NOTE -> if any of these are similiar to yours or others hc's -> I PROMISE IT'S NOT INTENTIONAL (hey I guess great minds think alike) ]

ALSO THIS POST IS LONG - so be warned

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Barnacles and Kwazii

Both of them are theatre kids

They love listening to musical soundtracks

One of the few people on the crew that Barnacles is really comfortable with telling his feelings

Also vice Vera’s for Kwazii, he’s also one of the few people on the crew he’s comfortable with not being his usual bravado self around and sometimes he’ll talk about his family history

Sometimes when they both need to vent, Kwazii will come into Barnacle's room and they’ll just rant for hours

Also, they probably use that time to debrief about how the other are doing + do welfare checks on the team

I just love how they match each other's energy (they are such doofuses when it’s just the two)

Brawn’s and Brawn’s fr (like in the whale shark or giant squid episode)

Both of them had matching man ponytails at one point

They have matching tattoos

Thanks to Kwasi, Barnacles accidentally finds himself telling sea monster tails when he's around the cubs

Avid Hamilton enthusiasts (both know the soundtrack word for word)

I can imagine these two drunk at a bar doing karaoke

They both had a stand-up comedy phase

Own a set of brass knuckles

Shared poetry appreciation

Sometimes Kwazii is too gullible to the things he sees on the internet and Barnacles has to talk some sense into him

They would do stakeouts together

Sing in the shower

Baranacles would drop-kick Kwazii if necessary

I also just like how Kwazii is always looking out for Barnacles

Look they are just so healthy and I love em

Light sleepers

Best volleyball duo

The best savers on the crew (Barnacles because he's responsible however Kwazii is there by default because of his pirate instinct to stash away cash (he'd forget about it and then when they are doing their yearly finances he'd just find that he'd accumulated like $40,000 (maybe stolen) in cash so he'd automatically win)

They can both breakdance? (much to the crew's horror)

Chat they are THE duo

Like lowkey imagine if one of them died, imagine how distraught they'd be (I think about this all the time) -> Imagine how they'd fall apart (Actually they remind me a lot of Brokeback mountain) (The main reason I try not to ship them is because I think it would just fall apart lowkey ) (sorry for this but they were literally the first people I thought of when I watched the movie)

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Kwazii and Peso

Both of them love gory horror movies (peso likes to analyse them) (for medical reasons he swears)

Can both speak Spanish and will have conversations in front of the crew in it or when they want to make some outlandish comment

Kwazii and peso are like opposites attract fr fr

Kwazii spends a lot of time in Medbay, much to Peso's dismay.

Because of this, the peso has trained Kwazii in medbay, because he needs assistance sometimes (and lowkey wants him to take better care of himself)

Peso will sometimes crash out in Kwazii's room if he's too worried to sleep

They would invest in a pair of matching light-up sneakers

Thanks to Kwazii's stories, Peso automatically jumps to the conclusion that something is a monster when he's scared by some unknown creature

The black and orange combo is always lethal

Peso always tries to actively include Kwazii in his family cause he's got like none (he can be an honourary penguin)

These two would not be able to sit normally (Peso would do the leg bounces or sit criss-cross and Kwazii would do a little perch thing)

Sometimes Kwazii would find a creature he wanted to keep for a bit and Peso would help him hide it (partially because he doesn't want him to get into trouble and cause he's concerned that Kwazii would hurt it while he's hiding it) so there would be random animals chilling in the medbay until Barnacles would find it and have to guilt trip him (using shellington) to go put it back (They would both get punished with the shitty chores)

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Dashi and Shellington

OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Either OTP or BROTP for me personally

I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

THAT SHOULD BE ME

So um anyways... malewife and girlboss fr

Collects hairclips he thinks Dashi would like when they're on land

Loves listening to his rambles

Shellington loves that she can out-yap him when it comes to metrology

They are literally the peak childhood interest like space kid + sea kid

I just want them to be happy and wish that nothing bad ever happened to them

Photographs/films sealife + tells her all about it

I can imagine them working on articles together

Also, imagine they had one of those Sealife documentary things where Dashi is the cameraman and Shillington just yaps on about stuff they find

They both go to climate change rallies together

Shellington sometimes takes photos of Dashi cause he feels bad that she is never in them (although they're not the best quality Dashi treasures them)

They are chill around each other, they can yap for hours or sit in silence but they will still be happy

Give off old married couple vibes

They have a Stardew Valley farm together -> They both love the mines and always forget to water their crops (so their solution is to grind out in the mines poor until they have enough resources to make sprinklers) (Shellington mines, Dashis kills everything)

Dashi orders for both of them at restaurants

Morning person + night owl -> Sometimes Dashi will wake up at like 5am and realise that Shellington is still up and be like dude wtf go to bed

They share a weird appreciation for sundials

attached do not separate

One time Shillington noticed that Dashi was down and he tried to make her a snack. He proceeded to set fire to the kitchen

They've gone stargazing together (Dashi loves telling him about the constellations)

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Peso and Tweak

This combo is lowkey kinda niche

Rarepair

They are so cute omg

I can imagine them playing video games together

They have matching oodies cause I said so

The two shortest out of the main six (THEY're SO SMALL GAHH)

Peso sometimes tries to help out Tweak in the launch bay (not that he can really do much) and lowkey admires Tweak's strength

He Apologises profusely every time they come back with a broken gup (he feels so bad) tweak finds it funny

They both like licorice

Most prone to panicking (our little overthinkers) (I mean I guess it's obvious for the peso, but tweak definitely worries a lot)

Tweak will hold peso's hand if he feels nervous

Tweak sometimes obtains some bad injuries for things going wrong with the gups and it lowkey scares the shit on of peso. Like she'll just rock up to the medbay filled with chunks of glass and burns and be like "So... um, can you fix me up?"

Goated at operation board game (peso for obvious reasons and tweak would just treat it like a gup (much to peso's horror))

They love the peanuts franchise

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Barnacles and Tweak

Like brother and sister imo

They are such old souls

They share a love for rugby

Very brother/sister vibes imo

They're been friends for yonks

Would be the only two to carry actual cash (Kwazii would too but it's a mix of currencies)

Probably the only crewmate that Barnacles has never been mad at (she can do no wrong)

They sometimes reminisce about the old octopod -> they are both still lowkey bad about crashing it

Both of them know Morse code (sometimes they send each other silly messages in it just cause

I feel like they'd both be kind've weird about their birthdays (not that keen on celebrating for some unknown reason)

They'd tackle or like punch each other's arm to show affection (I'd imagine that Tweak is the only person that Barnacles can do this to)

They'd both have a shared appreciation for "Dad music"

I also feel like they would be really good at hockey (Tweak grass hockey (regular) and barnacles ice hockey)

Avid beanie hat enjoyers

They'd be really good at card games (like 500 or hearts)

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Peso and Shellington

OMG IT'S THE NERD BOYS

They study together

Shellington accidentally burns himself in the lab all the time, much to Peso's dismay. (he just wishes his crew would take better care of themselves)

They lowkey get the shits with each other sometimes (Like peso lowkey thinks shellington is a little bitch sometimes )

Sometimes heated debates just for the sake of it

They have number headcanons because they spent so much time doing math for their degrees

They also have favourite formulas

Have mixed feelings about organic chemistry

They could poison you in your sleep bfr

These too would be goated at an arcade

They'd fw the Sonic movies

Have the best book taste

They both have the most depressing music taste (they'll be listening to like the front bottoms or mitski or some shit for fun)

Shellington has zero spacial awareness so he's always getting injured

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Dashi and Tweak

IT'S THE GIRLS

BESTIES LOVERS OML

WOMEN IN STEM

I have an idea for an AU when these two just live out in the middle of the desert and they just build machines and blow shit up all the time maybe sell nifty weapons when they need a stash

They are super close as they are the only girls on the team

BUILD GADGETS AND GIZMOS TOGETHER

Dashi would let Tweak dye her hair sometimes - she would have two pink money pieces or pink skunk hair imo

You know their Minecraft worlds would go hard

Tweak admires her coding ability + Dashi admires her building skills

Early bird + night owl -> When Dashi realises Tweak hasn't slept in a day or two, she'll make her a hot chocolate drag her to her bed and just sit on the floor until she falls asleep

Dashi spends a lot of time with Tweak, so she's gotten a good grasp on the gups and does the daily maintenance jobs with Barnacles if Tweak has crashed out

They both enjoy Lego but the technic kind. Especially tweak, I just know my girl has the full-on Lego trainset

Dashi gets nervous about the impression she makes on Ranger Marsh (she felt super guilty when she crashed the octo-ray and made Ranger Marsh worry about tweak)

They are literally lalalala and okokokok

Sometimes Dashi gets too carried away with something she finds interesting and tweaks gotta be like c'mon girl be careful

Tweak would actually die for Dashi (and vice versa)

Dashi would buy strawberry cups and Tweak would be like huh (Nana reference?)

They would avidly use fairy comments (both irl and online)

They would be the ones doing the crew haircuts

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Barnacles and Peso

Father and son fr

god I love them

Every time Peso goes missing Barnacles has a heart attack (not that he wouldn't for the others but Peso specifically he's like GOD FUCK WHERE IS HE)

Both are major family guys, and love showing each other family photos and albums

Sometimes they jam out together

They both love Mitski

Love the cold weather -> will kill for a good snow day (much to the crew's dismay)

They die in the heat

Share a mutual love of sweet treats

Peso was wary of Barnacles at first but soon came to just admire/respect him

Both would cry during sad movies

Also both fw soap operas

Peso used to be afraid of the captain when they first met

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Shellington and Barnacles

Fathers TM

Guys, you don't understand how much I adore their friendship

But yes, they would bond over their shared fatherly struggles

Sometimes Barnacles wouldn't be able to sleep at night so he would just chill in Shellington's lab (Because he up until the ungodly hours) and he would just chill there. They wouldn't say too much, sometimes Shillington would talk about the research he was doing but he kind've understood that Barnacles just didn't want to be alone so he didn't pressure him to talk.

They both have the blandest taste out of everyone on the crew

Probably both think that salt is spicy

I feel like Barnacles neutralises some of Shellington's silliness so they are both just chill

They both have the goofiest pj's (canon)

Tallest members of the crew (you could literally climb them)

They both love info-dumping to each other - They'll take turns being listeners/yapper

They both share an insane love of Lego more-so the aesthetic models (Barnacles cause he likes to build ship models and Shellington well... he seems like the type)

They definitely thoroughly enjoyed the lego masters series

Honestly they both different flavours of tism for me personally

They share so many similarities that it's kind've scary -> like they are different genres of each other in a way that is crazy

Wait no I'm not crazy here me out -> They're both the omg I'm only good at one thing (they have a little bit of a complex about it), I need to be a good father (lowkey to compensate for this), have some trauma that holds me back a lil and also really goofy + super tall.

I personally think that's one of the reasons these two work together so well -> guys we need to talk about this more

They forced the whole crew (well mainly Barnacles) to do the 16 personalities quiz (I hc that Barnacles is REALLY into psychology and info-dumped about it so much to Shellington that he's lowkey invested)

After that, they made a chart for the combability of everyone on the crew

I'm not normal about the parallels these two share LIKE AHHHHH

Anyways -> they both have shitty eyesight (they both wear contacts most of the time but sometimes wear glasses)

Tell really corny dad jokes

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kwazii and Tweak

Chaotic duo if ever

Kwazii sows bandanas for tweak

Tweak lowkey wants him dead for all the damage he's done

Has a chalkboard with a tally of who's done the most damage (Kwazii is 1st with Shellington following closely behind)

Tweak has taught Kwazii how to fix up the GUP-B himself because she's so sick of doing it (the best investment she's ever made)

They both love destroy boys (I know I've said this before but I'm going to say it again)

They both hand out the most insane disses (when necessary)

Play Clash Royale (and they're sweats)

Can't spell to save their lives

They would go on all the crazy rollercoasters at a theme park

Speaking of rollercoasters -> these two would definitely dig those videos of the top 10 craziest rollercoasters/waterslides (but tweak tell you if it was actually possible) (or better yet how SHE could make it possible)

Both share a weird appreciation for chainsaws

They'd road rage so bad

They're so evil together and I love it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peso and Dashi

Sweethearts

Both are Kpop stans

They have weekly meetings to discuss the latest drama happening

They share an insanely popular fan account

They also both have matching photo cards

These two are definitely are the younger end of the crew (AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE LIKE 16. I THINK EVERYONE ON THE MAIN OCTONAUTS CREW IS AT LEAST 25+ AT THE MINIMUM)

They'll use modern slang just for the shits and gigs (they've definitely called Barnacles Sigma and Skibidi a few times just to piss him off)

They both play animal crossing but they are both SUPER competitive about it --> They are also RIGHT into the turnip stock market ( For some reason barnacles always has god-tier prices)

They make friendship bracelets together

When they are both feeling devious, they'll introduce the captain to some brain rot term and watch the rest of the crew go insane as he tries to incorporate it into his everyday lingo -> "Good work shellington, very Sigma" "Nice GUP upgrades Tweak, mogging the old designs" "Kwazi Istg don't be an omega and listen to me" -> They are not amused and want them dead (Barnacles just wants to be woke)

Dashi gets along surprisingly well with Peso's family

They would both have those little virtual electronic pet things (I forgot what they are called like the tamigoochee type shit) (if they were out on overnight missions, they'd give it to the other to take care of

They have really good eyesight

Have really nice scented shampoo

They both watched those really fucked up youtube videos as kids (like the Gacha or mlp horror types)

goated at origami

They'd be Hayday sweats

The mum friend

They'd do the daily wordles and connections together (but they;r also be lowkey competitive about it)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dashi and Kwazii

Chaos duo 2.0

Super energetic

They both love doing sports together - they both seem really athletic so I reckon they play each other often

Both are super competitive

These two both alternate being acting captain when Barnacles is not there and they bond over that

Both love spicy foods

I have this one really specific headcannon that they have cook-offs sometimes because hey why not and they divide into two teams: Dashi + Kwazii and Barnacles + Peso. (I feel like shellington is banned from the kitchen and Tweak well she cooks in the garage ifkwim, so they judge ).

These cookoffs would get HEATED, I reckon it's gotten to the point where they have thrown knives. But yeah Dashi and Kwazii are a killer combo in the kitchen

They both love fashion -> they also play dress to impress together (they'll roast all the other players and Kwazii usually wins)

Only person Kwazii can find that is willing to sword fight him (and doesn't instantly lose)

Dashi sometimes uses him as a model when she wants to practice portrait shots (he's probably the only one who's willing to tbh)

When they're around each other they often get tunnel vision which can get them in a little trouble (like in the Siphomphore episode) but it's ok, they love a little adrenaline rush

LOVE hotter weather --> they both love a good beach day

Dashi's still trying to teach Kwazii how to surf (he's getting the hang of it though)

Kwazii braids Dashi's hair (and vice versa)

They both love mean girls (they want to be Regina SO BAD)

Both love gold jewellery

Are both into star signs, planetary alignment, fate etc.

These two are probably the most spiritual in the crew.

I feel like these two actually wouldn't be too made if there was a zombie apocalypse

Violence is always an option

When they are bored they start placing stupid bets on each other and they will go to extreme lengths not to lose the bet

Dashi finds his fear of spiders amusing (like she's canonically Australian so she's immune to them)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tweak and Shellington

underrated

Both are masters of their world and they respect each other for that

Nightowls -> Their sleep schedule is unholy

Will both go days without sleeping (this terrifies the rest of the crew)

They often need to be put to bed by other crew members cause they'll just be passed out somewhere

I can imagine them building bombs together

Both of them are AVID glass animal fans

They both use really shitty shampoos like head and shoulder type shit

Love Monster energy drinks and coffee a little too much

They also forget to eat too often (Honestly these two are just too obsessed with their professions and have horrendous self care)

They spend a lot of time together cause they are often stuck in the pod

Tweak tried to have some plants in her room but kept on forgetting to water them so they kept on dying. Shellington noticed and gave her some more, and made sure to maintain their health

Tweak secretly prays that shellington will become a better driver whenever she sees him around a gup (not that she's religious, it's just going to take a divine miracle to happen)

During beach days these two would just mess around with a metal detector (That's if shellington isn't messing with the rockpools)

They had adult braces

They sleep-talk a lot

They'd both own trapper hats

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barnacles and Dashi

leaders tm

These two have lowkey been parenting the crew since day dot

It's giving old man + the girl he decided to adopt

Both are barbs (Nicki Minaj fans) and listen to her together when the crew is out on missions

Dashi was lowkey like his apprentice in leadership during the main Octonauts series. They've spent a lot of time together

They spend a lot of time in HQ and unfortunately, they have to spend a lot of time doing boring paperwork and formalities/incident type of reports. I can imagine them just working on it late at night as boring and soul-destroying as it is cause nobody else is willing (or is serious) enough to do it.

Specifically, AnB, Dashi would definitely feel a huge amount of imposter syndrome in her role, and sometimes Barnacles would see that and just reassure her that she has done the training for this, she does deserve it and that it'll be alright.

Dashi adopted his mannerisms over time, like specifically the little stances. I've noticed she does the little hands-on-hip stance that Barnacles always does in AnB ( I just thought it was kinda cute)

Likewise, I reckon Barnacles adopted some of hers.

Another AnB one, sometimes Dashi would be debriefing about everything that's been happening to get and the stress surrounding her leadership position and barnacles would just be like "Yeah, I get it"

Both of them have matching Sanrio charms (Dashi gave one to him when he started mentoring her)

Would both die for their crew

Sometimes, they do improv practice together

Both are morning people. It'll be like 5am and they're like RISE AND GRIND!!! CEASE THE DAY!!

Really good at celestial navigation (Barnacles cause of scouts/dashi cause of metrology)

They are both heavy snackers (they love having a little munch when they are doing things)

Best huggers

Dashi canonically collects sunglasses so -> sometimes barancles borrows sunglasses for missions (which is amusing cause sometimes she gives him a really silly pair)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kwazii and Shellington

SILLY AF

This friendship is actually so funny to me. Because I remember Kwazii HATING shellington at the start of the series. Specifically in that episode when they both go driving at night (I think?) and Kwazii's just like ugh ho why are you coming like you can barely drive GET OUT. Now Kwazii's out there like "OMG COOL CREATURE SHELLINGTON HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU'D LOVE THIS"

They are lowkey both Batshit crazy when left to their own devices

Would both find each other trinkets that they think are neat

Both of them share a love of learning new languages

Share a surprisingly large amount of info about Greek mythology

The Mayan calendar freaks them out (they take it WAY too seriously)

They both have zero spacial awareness

Sometimes Kwazii tries to act like a smartass around shellington (shellington quickly humbles him)

They would both intentionally eat chocolate bars in the most fucked up way possible

They would both own the most absurd pets

Shellington would casually mention something he's always wanted to see (like a plant or fish) and Kwazii would go out and retrieve it (which is fitting cause it's very catlike). It would probably be the wrong thing most of the time but Shellington doesn't tell him

Granny games would scare the shit out of them

They would've both set stuff on fire during science classes (intentionally (out of boredom) and accidentally)

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Thanks for reading all that

I've never done this big of a post so I hope it was alright :)

(And that there weren't too many spelling errors)

[daily-xisuma]

[173] Writing!

[kingofpeacows]

TimKonBart fic where Kon and Bart are dubiously together and get invited to a big superhero wedding hosted by the Justice League funders, The Waynes....

Except no one ever told them that The Waynes are The Bats because everyone assumed it had gotten back to them at some point (it didn't, no one tells Young Justice anything) so they meet a civillian Tim and instantly fall in love with his cringe and fail behavior not knowing its their OTHER CRUSH, Robin.

[inhuman-obey-me]

Congratulations on a well deserved 4000+!

If you don't mind can I request 😴 with belphie+ Mc?

Thank you so much!! ;//u//;

"Don't you worry about your bad dreams, 'cause I'm not in them." - Belphegor/MC

content warning: psychological horror, blood, implied body horror

It starts with a heavy pressure on your chest, as if some creature has crawled through the shadows to come and sit atop your heart. 

Then it spreads, an inky dread that slithers its way up to your throat and wraps itself around and around and around. And then it tightens.

Slowly. Suffocatingly. 

‘It’s horrible here, isn’t it?’

Another night, another cruel whisper in your head from a voice you don’t recognize. You can feel sharp claws sink into your flesh, and a haze takes over your mind. You try to fight it, but it only gets worse. 

‘Just open your eyes, you’ll see.’

And so you do, knowing what it is you will see. It’s been the same for the past two nights: a warped version of the House of Lamentation, blood seeping through cracks and running down the walls. A static seems to fill the air, further distorting anything you look at like some unsettling funhouse mirror. The room sways and rocks, but you try to step forward – only for your heel to be met with a loud crunch. With a gulp, you bring your gaze down to see what it is you stepped on.

It’s you. Whatever’s left of you, that is. 

‘You don’t belong here. It’s not safe.’

The voice gets louder, more insistent, more chilling. 

‘You should leave. Now.’

“The only one who should be leaving is you, Milalu.” 

In an instant, the haze dissipates and the horrors fade away to reveal a strange plane of clouds and stars, a comforting blanket of lavender and twilight embracing you. The scream that was stuck in your throat now turns into a near-sob of relief at the familiar voice. You turn to find him, and before a single thought can form you find yourself running straight into his arms. 

“Are you okay?” He asks softly, and you answer with a silent nod.

“Belphegoooor,” The raspy voice calls out, a dark cloud taking the rough shape of a demon before you. “We were just having some fun.”

“We? Do you really think I’m stupid?” Belphegor snarls, tightening his hold on you. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You, idiotically waltzing into a dream under my roof? Threatening my human?” 

“I wasn’t threatening.” Milalu answers, their ghostly hands coming up as if to push the accusation away. “I was merely trying to be…influential.” 

“Influential my ass.” Belphegor gives you a squeeze before releasing you, now stepping towards the other demon. “What, trying to scare them away so they leave? You really think you’re that good? That you have any power over them?” 

“All humans are influenceable. It would be a bad dream for me if they weren’t.” Milalu turns to look at you, their sharp eyes trying to pierce your soul, but Belphegor quickly grabs them by the neck and lifts them into the air.

“Oh, don’t you worry about your bad dreams,” he hisses with vitriol, his own demon form shifting into something more frightening as his tail thrashes to and fro. “Because I’m not in them – but maybe that should change.” 

He pauses, then, and looks to you, a gentle command leaving his lips. 

“Close your eyes.”

So you do, a garbled scream from Milalu quickly deafened by warm wind that swirls around you and returns you to the comfort of your bed.

When you awaken, you find Belphegor watching you with a mix of affection and frustration. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…I thought it would stop, eventually.” You lower your gaze, embarrassed that he had to see you in such a state. He sighs, cupping your face with one hand.  

“I know you’re strong, but you shouldn’t let anyone mess with you like that.” He sighs, a thumb brushing your cheek. “If something like that ever happens again, you need to tell me right away. Promise me that, starlight.” 

“...Okay. I promise.” You nod, moving closer to him in the bed and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 

“Thank you.”

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

How to Talk So She Will Listen, and Listen So She Will Talk - Chapter 3 - moonbunnyblues - Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King [Archive of Our Own]

its a new office au chapter! against all odds!

[illusionsofdreaming]

birds without feet;

Notes: I return to the blog with this monster of a ficlet. This was actually written for @nin-deer who very graciously allowed me to share it on the blog as well. A small imagine that grew out of control haha... enjoy~ Ft: Beacrox

It was but a subtle shift of air that caused him to abandon his project. In an instant, he whipped around, knife in hand, its sharp blade poised just above the intruder's jugular, ready to cut deep with the slightest pressure.

Despite the threat of a blade at your neck, your smile was relaxed as you lifted the roll of parchment in your hand. “Delivery!”

His eyes quickly scanned the kitchen, noting the shifted curtains he pieced together your point of entrance. Only when you wiggled the paper impatiently did he finally drop the knife and swiped the parchment from your hand, ignoring your huff of laughter as he scanned over its contents.

“It’s nice to see you too Beacrox. How have you been?” 

Your attempts at casual banter were ignored, but the moment you began reaching for the food on the table, his gaze snapped to yours, promising pain should you attempt further.

You were wise enough to heed his warning as you stepped back, hands raised in surrender. “Sheesh, you’re not going to make any friends if you keep acting this way.”

Crumpling the piece of paper, he threw it into the fireplace as you clicked your tongue in mock annoyance.

Had he cared for your opinion, he might’ve been annoyed, alas it was easy to dismiss as he threw a pouch in your direction, the clink of gold muted as you caught it from the air. He watched as you tossed the bag a few times before pocketing it.

You must have caught the confusion on his face as you glanced up with a grin. “I know you won’t cheat me of my payment.”

Though it was the truth—Molan’s motto was always to repay what’s due—such blatant admission of trust from someone working in the dark underbelly of society puzzled him, and without meaning to, he’d let his displeasure slip through. “It could’ve been filled with rocks.”

You blinked, head tilted as if you’re considering the possibility, then you laughed. “Then I suppose I’ll be a few pretty rocks richer.”

He scowled and returned to his work, grabbing his knife to hide the flush of annoyance he felt by your flippant answer. You knew such responses would annoy him, and he refused to give you the satisfaction of being correct.

One does not survive long in the underworld with their morals and innocence intact. Your deliberate pushing of buttons was another tactic to wheedle information from your targets, and he wasn't inclined on revealing anything. You already know far too much as is.

“Leave,” he ordered, his limited patience well and truly spent. 

“Always a pleasure talking to you, Bea~”

He threw the knife in his hand, but by the time he turned around, you were already gone. The only evidence of your visit was the lingering echoes of your laughter and a missing tart from the plate of desserts he'd prepared earlier.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

As you kept the package just out of his reach, he couldn’t help but think: for a grown person jaded by the underworld, you sure liked acting like a child at times.

“You just thought of something rude didn’t you?”

His gaze snapped to yours. “You forget who you’re dealing with.” he warned coldly. The Molan household might have fallen from grace but just because he had traded his daggers for kitchen knives, they were no less lethal in his hands. Was it confidence or foolishness that made you dare to test his patience?

The silence in the kitchens was deafening as your eyes met across the counter. 

“I haven’t,” You said finally, “not once.” Your smile was wry and lacked its usual cheer but the heaviness in your tone bore the weight of many secrets, of someone who knew far more than what they’re letting on. He’s faced with an uncanny sense of unbelonging and emptiness that seemed eerily familiar. 

But with a blink of an eye, the mask that had slipped had righted itself. “I have a change of mind,” You sat on the edge of the counter island, tension and somber mood shaken off, replaced with an all too sunny smile. “I’d like another form of payment for the information I’m selling.”

He felt anger lick up his throat as his fist clenched above the table. “That was not part of our deal.”

“An amendment to the agreement then, if you will-”

“I refuse.”

Your peals of laughter filled the room, “You didn’t even let me finish!”

“I refuse.” He repeated sternly. Knowing your personality, it would be an amendment that would greatly irritate or inconvenience him. 

“I’d like you to cook a dish for me.” You continued, ignoring his words. 

There was a sharp snap as the corner of the table cracked under his hand as incredulity stole over his face. 

To begin with, payment for your services had never been cheap, each bag of gold was worth more than several months’ worth of food. If all you wanted was a decent meal, then you’ve already been charging enough to dine at any of Roan kingdom’s finest restaurants.

“It’s not a dish that can be found on any menu in the kingdom.” You tutted as if you knew the thoughts that were going through his head. “It’s not something that can be bought with gold.” 

You’re pulling his leg. “And why do you think I’d care to create a dish no one’s heard of?” Beacrox asked through gritted teeth.

“I know you don’t.” You laughed, lips slanted with a smile. “It’s something I’ve tasted a long time ago but have no idea how it’s made. I’ll describe what I remember and if you believe it’s impossible to recreate or not worth the hassle,” you shrugged in an exaggerated display of nonchalance, “then I’ll take the usual payment like nothing’s changed. It’s a good deal for you right?”

Nothing about this deal made sense. You’re essentially offering your services for free while he’d benefit regardless of whether he succeeds in recreating the dish or not. His expression was stiff as he crossed his arms.

You set the package down on the table gently and slid a piece of folded paper next to it. “Take your time to think about it.” You offered as you pulled your hood up. You left the kitchens as quietly as you’d arrived, leaving him to brood in the silence left behind.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Here.” he sets the completed project on the table with the reluctance of a person who would rather be anywhere else but in the kitchens at that very moment. He folded his arms, pinning his hands to his chest, resisting the urge to snatch the plate and throw it in the trash, calling off the deal.

Beacrox had no expectations of being able to recreate a dish he had never heard of. Yet, from the moment he set the plate down, you stiffened in place, your pleasant smile melting away, replaced by shock.

“Well?”, You flinched as he prompted impatiently. You pulled the dish closer, your smile weak and crooked. 

“I was just a bit surprised that’s all..” your voice trailed off.

He filed your reactions away in the back of his mind.

Your grip was uncertain but eventually you picked a piece from the plate and placed it in your mouth.

You froze in place, and he immediately slid a cup of water and bowl over. 

But you surprised him when you kept it in and swallowed. “It…” He watched as your face straightened slowly, all visible emotions ironed away into one of careful neutrality. 

“..tastes nothing like it.” 

When vague subjective descriptions on a slim piece of paper were all that he had to work with, he’d expected this outcome. The bag of gold he had prepared in advance was tossed onto the table as he reached to retrieve the dish, only to be deterred when sharp pain sprang across the back of his hand. The surprise he felt from the fact he’d failed to catch your movements was swiftly replaced by irritation when he realised you’d slapped him. 

His eyes narrowed, “What are you-“

“I’m taking it.” you said and to his utter confusion, went on to shove another bite in your mouth.

“You just said-“

“I know what I said.” you huffed, “I never said the dish had to taste right did I? It’s a good first try-“ His eyebrows lifted as you suddenly lost the ability to maintain eye contact with him. “Anyways, I’ll be the judge of what’s accepted and I say this passes.”

You've always been an eccentric character, but just when he thought you couldn't faze him further, you managed to render him speechless yet again. Till now, he’s yet to figure out your intention behind your request, if taste was not a priority then what use was creating the dish you’re looking for? 

“Get out of my kitchen.”

“But I haven’t-“

“Out.”

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

Of all the informants in the kingdom, none possessed skills that could surpass yours. It was why, despite the many headaches you induced, Beacrox had chosen to suffer your pestering for so long.

Not one of his sources has ever confirmed how you acquire your information or seen you in action. Yet the intelligence you provide, which has, at many times, sounded unbelievable, had been proven to be true time and time again. 

Perhaps the strangest thing of all was that, despite the ease with which you uncover others' secrets, the same couldn’t be said vice versa. Little to no information could be found regarding your background, whatever was found was obviously doctored, being far too mundane for someone of your skills. You were either incredibly thorough at covering your tracks or an experienced fraudster, and Beacrox was inclined on believing the latter.  

Your unpredictable behaviour made it hard to judge whether you’re an ally or foe, so it was only natural that he’d sought for leverage to hold against you in case there’ll be a day you’d decide to betray them and sell their secrets to their enemies. 

That was the only reason he would consider playing along with your games.

Though he knew not the significance of these dishes to you, he had hoped they would provide some insight on your background or places you’ve been to where other sources have failed to narrow down. 

But of course even the meals you’d request would be harder if not just as difficult to trace as well.

It was only a matter of time before you caught onto his intentions, after all, he’d never kept his investigations a secret. Yet instead of pulling back like he’d expected, you had become bolder in your requests, eyes sparkling with mischief as if you understood the frustration he was going through and still remain one infuriating step ahead of him at all times. 

He’d considered the possibility that you could be pulling his leg, but there was something about the nostalgia in your eyes as you taste each dish that made Beacrox believe in their authenticity. 

He glanced at a small box hidden by the side, within held a small but steadily growing pile of recipes of unknown origins. Not for the first time, Beacrox found himself questioning if all these peaceful days have turned him soft after all.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

A familiar, unwelcome figure was sitting in his fresh crate of produce.

A quick scan around the area confirmed that you were alone and he walked over to assess your state. A splatter trail led up to the crate you sat on and his brows furrowed in distaste. The darkness made it difficult to immediately see any obvious signs of injuries and when you made no reaction to his presence, he kicked the crate below you.

“Ow.” you stirred, complaining with a soft laugh. 

Conscious. 

“Why are you here?”

Your unannounced visit broke one of many unspoken rules governing their kind. As people maintaining a delicate facade, unexpected visits were not merely discouraged but deemed perilous. No one would fault him should he choose to silence you then and there - such was the severity of your faux pas - yet he stood, only mildly irritated, at the disruption you’ve brought to a peaceful night.

It took a moment longer than he liked before you gathered enough strength to speak. “Sorry,” you apologised and for once, actually sounding it. “I just need a little rest. I’ll be out of your hair soon.”

Your laboured breathing and unfocused gaze suggested otherwise and he folded his arms as the dreadful feeling of his plans for an early night slipped through his fingers like fine sand. 

“How bad is it?” 

Impatiently he waited for you to process his words, your sluggishness a strange contrast to your usually sharp wit and quick retorts. 

“It’s been treated.” 

The smell of blood was sharp and acrid, he would have to clean the stains soon if he wished to avoid its scent lingering in the area. “I will not ask again.” He warned.

You were exhausted, it could be seen from your posture and expression. Though he understood the instinct to hide one’s weakness, from the moment you chose to rest here it wasn’t a matter of ‘if’ the truth comes out but a matter of ‘when’ and Beacrox would preferred if it happened sooner rather than later.

Just as he was contemplating the benefits of leaving you to your fate, your lips loosened. “Stab wound on the left, missed vitals. I’ve been tended to but some of the stitches might have opened up.”

That would explain the bloody trail you left. He should count his blessings that it didn’t sound too bothersome, assuming you hadn't foolishly downplayed the severity of your injuries. Your arms came up defensively as he began moving towards you, eyes widening with surprise, “Wait-“

His arms slipped under and around and with barely a grunt of effort, he lifted you up. The sudden motion drew a muffled groan from you and he allowed you a brief moment to collect yourself before he began moving. From this position, he could acutely feel the heat radiating from your skin and the tremors that wracked your body. 

Your confusion and trepidation were clear and it was with some hesitation before you decided to open your mouth-

“Save your breath.” He advised and you obediently swallowed your words.

He moved you into the storage shed behind the kitchen. Though dark, he navigated through the small space easily, setting you on the surface of several boxes, he stepped back to note that you’ve lost consciousness. The walk hadn’t been far but you must have exhausted your reserves traveling here.

From the darkness he brought out a small knife and paused, looking at your face, sweat slicked yet slack from tension, having found an escape from the worries troubling you - however temporary. He recognised that this moment might be a rare opportunity to unveil the secrets you hide, yet as quick as the notion flitted through his mind, it was dismissed just as quickly. With methodical precision, he cut open the side of your shirt where red had stained through.

The wound was as you’d described, if not a bit irritated and swollen. Basic first aid had been applied, though the messy stitch work left much to be desired, it did its job in holding your injury closed. A few stitches had come loose and will need to be reworked but nothing that he’s not capable of handling even with his limited medical knowledge.

As his gaze roamed to your face checking, yes, you were still unconscious, he left and returned moments later with a candle, clean water, cloth and a clean shirt. 

A dusty shed and mere candlelight were far from an ideal setting to perform any kind of wound care, but he doubted you’d care at this point. Pristine, white gloves snapped on, he made short work of cleaning, restitching and bandaging your wound. 

He was about to tilt a bottle of potion into your lips when you mumbled. He paused, waiting to see if you were regaining consciousness. You mumbled again and he frowned. It took him few moments before he realised two things: you weren’t waking up anytime soon and the words you’re mumbling, weren’t in a language from Roan or even any of the neighbouring kingdoms. 

As a master assassin, he had learned many languages, so the fact that you spoke one that he couldn’t place piqued his interest. He watched your lips, intent on studying and memorising the unique intonations and pitch, however, it seems your instincts finally kicked in, and though still unconscious, you’d stopped mumbling. 

Even out cold, you’d find a way to be bothersome. There was nothing more he could do, he left the folded, clean shirt he brought along by your side and with one final glance at your still form, he closed the doors behind him and locked it.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

He returned the next morning to a broken lock and an empty shed. In place of where you’re supposed to be was instead a piece of paper and a bag of coins. 

“Thanks for last night. Sorry about your spuds, I’ve replaced them for you :)”

A glance to the side confirmed the presence of a fresh crate of potatoes and a slip of paper containing the description of a dish never heard of before in the kingdom.

And for the first time ever, a name to go alongside the unfamiliar dish.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

You never mentioned what happened that night and he didn’t pry. Still, something seemed to have shifted between the two of you.

He no longer chases you away the moment you appear, while you've learned to place yourself to avoiding getting in the way of his cooking. He pretends not to notice when you arrive with injuries and you feign surprise at finding mysterious salves appearing nearby. 

“Aw, did you miss my company?” you teased when you caught his gaze assessing you after dropping by from one of your longer absences.

Beacrox made no attempt to conceal the dry scowl on his face. “Like one misses a rat infestation.”

“Charming~” you beamed.

Some things, still don’t change no matter what. 

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

In the end, it was the one question he couldn’t figure out. 

“Why me?”

The dishes you've shared are simple, you could've hired any other chef, given the same descriptions and they would’ve achieved similar results. But you chose to badger him, an unknown chef working for a humble count's family instead.

You paused in your devouring of yet another strange dish, blinking as if surprised that he would be the first to initiate conversation.

“Why Bea! You should have more confidence in yourself, you’re one of the best chefs in Roan!”

It was as obvious a deflection as he ever saw. His fingers tightened around his arms and he took a slow breath. So you’re going to be stubborn. Well, two can play that game. He tried another angle. 

The words tasted foreign on his tongue, but they were something that turned over and over in his mind since that night. He’d probably horribly butchered the pronunciation but it seemed the meaning was successfully relayed from the way your eyes widened and your pupils shook with recognition. 

The utensil held in your hand clattered to the table and Beacrox kept his eyes trained on you, taking in your paling face. When it didn't seem like you would offer an explanation, he continued.

“It’s what you kept repeating that night.“

A myriad of emotions crossed your face: shock, confusion, fear, and finally, resignation. 

In the silence, you slowly repeated those same words. Sharp, crisp and wholly foreign. 

"“Home,” your voice was soft, but it was the loudest thing in the kitchen. “‘I want to go home.’” you swallowed thickly, a wavering smile on your face. “that’s probably what I said.”

There was a lot to unpack from that revelation. 

He was suddenly reminded of how you’d react to the dishes each time, savouring each one, scouring the plates clean despite the differences in tastes. You ate not to fulfil the hunger of the body but to satisfy a craving of the mind. After receiving the recipe with a foreign name, it had confirmed one suspicion of his, that wherever these dishes came from, whether it was a place or a person that you're reminiscing about, they're likely no longer accessible.

You're reliving memories through dishes you barely remember. Chasing ghosts in your memories in search of some semblance of normalcy. 

Trust was a limited and rare currency in the underworld, hoarded jealously and coveted by many. You’d handed him the leash he’d sought since he agreed to your little game yet he felt gutted by the weight of the revelation, his shoulders burdened.

“Why me?” He repeated softly.

You watched him. “I don’t know.” Your voice sounded small and so tired. “I thought maybe, if it’s anyone, you’d probably understand.”

What does the concept of home and person mean when they no longer exist? Who are they but displaced people playing roles too big or small to hold their histories? Bearing memories of a place and person, but unable to find an equivalent?

It was a mistake. He shouldn’t have asked.

“But I wasn’t lying you know?” you added suddenly and he looked up in confusion, the smile you wore was weaker than usual but it was genuine. 

“You are one of the best chefs in all of Roan.” You declared in that same, familiar confidence which you use to share all those impossible, far-fetched sounding intel that always, turns out to be fact. 

For some inexplicable reason, it was that simple statement that dispersed the tempest building within.

Beacrox sighed, ran his hand through his hair, and exhaled through his nose.

And perhaps, there was a small, exasperated chuckle.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Bea please marry me.”

It wasn't often, but on rare occasions, he would nail the taste of a dish right.

He didn’t bother with a response but moved to refill your plate nonetheless.

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━

“Thank you.”

He paused while wiping the dishes. “For what?”

“Just,” Your gaze dropped to the plate before you as your fork tapped lightly against the edge. “Thank you for the food.”

Beacrox watched as you returned to eating, mind filled with memories of all the dishes he's made, of greatswords and bladed edges, and thought of what home and belonging is. 

We’re not so different. The idea of it wasn't as horrifying as he had thought. Once, perhaps he would’ve been unnerved by the sentimentality. There are still so many things that remain a secret when it comes to you, and yet, as you close your eyes to savor each bite, he feels as if he knows you better than most.

You ate in comfortable silence. He rolled his shoulders and allowed the tension in them to drop off. 

This might not be ‘home’ but for now, this moment was as good a resting place as any for people like them.

“You’re welcome.” he said softly. 

━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━━✶━━ ⋅𖥔⋅ ━ 

BONUS:

Once again, it begins with a ridiculous request from you.

“Bea please, you have to prepare this for Choi Han. I’ll even sell you my kidneys, I really need to know his reaction.” 

What value would owning your kidneys have? That you’d blatantly suggest such things to an assassin like himself was laughable, stranger still was his playing the fool and following along anyways.

He didn't question how you knew about their mansion's new guest, though your sudden interest in the visitor when you’ve shown no such interest in past guests was worthy of note. Even he had unconsciously tensed when the young master had introduced him. Something about the newcomer didn’t seem right. They were strong, but their potential was untapped and raw, like an uncontrollable beast on the verge of lashing out at any moment.

The glimmer of something in your eyes further confirmed his suspicions. You knew something about this stranger though you refused to reveal more, only promising that he’s not a threat to him or Ron. 

He frowned at the pot of red he’s stirring, the pungent smell wafting through the room. Footsteps from the doorway had him looking up, but the person that crossed the threshold was not the person he’d expected. 

The young master stepped in with a cautious look in his eyes. 

“I thought I smelled..” brown eyes narrowed at the pot he held. “What’s that?”

Beacrox glanced down at the strange dish he was asked to prepare, wondering why of all people that could’ve come, it would be Cale Henituse. 

“A dish a friend taught me to make.” Then for some reason unbeknownst to him, he offered. “Would the young master like to try?”

Cale hesitated, but eventually slid himself onto a seat, choosing the one farthest away from him. At least the young master seemed sober. Beacrox felt no fondness for the young master he served, even if it was true that he had begun to change recently, raising even the interest of Ron. 

Spooning a small portion, he set the dish and utensils down before Cale, ignoring the young man’s flinch as he gauged Cale’s strange expressions. 

The young master stared at the dish as if it would leap up and attack him, his strange wariness reminded Beacrox of your reaction when he first presented that first unfamiliar dish to you. 

“.. there’s no way..” Cale muttered to himself as he poked and prodded until finally, he tried a bite. 

“What.. the hell?”

Beacrox had never seen the young master's eyes bug out like that, and he decided it was quite an entertaining sight, even if the dish’s original target wasn’t meant for the redhead. Still he stifled an irritated sigh as a thought crossed his mind when the young master exclaimed.

“How the hell did you learn to make kimchi?!”

“What the hell did you make me do this time _______?”

Notes: I've had lots of thoughts while writing this imagine turned fic. Nin-deer gave me a simple prompt of "cooking" and I went and turned it into lore- OTL even I don't understand the intricate workings of my brain. I've had to cut out some chapters details as it was growing out of hand so I hope everything's links together properly. I've reached that stage where I've reread a piece of writing so many times, nothing makes sense anymore. I've deliberately left the dishes 'cooked' vague so you're free to imagine whatever cuisine you'd like that Beacrox helped butcher 👍🏼

[theashemarie]

85 (the jacket one) for the pearlina prompt requests! :3

Hi Ben!

#85. “Take my jacket. It’s cold outside.”

I’m breaking the law and writing and posting this live at work so you’ll have to just accept my link and screenshot for now. :3c

[pigeon-butch]

I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

[loveromeo1641]

currently working on the first chapter of a jjk fanfic where shoko, gojo, and geto all disaffiliate together and im SOOO excited to finish it and release it

im so excited for people to be able to read it, i just want to FINISH it already

[cjlouwho]

I think i just finished the first chapter of my tommy fic 😭

[subliminalbo]

Assimilation #5: Laws of the Universe

Miles thought he had played it cool when Mona told him that Charlotte had invited them to dinner, but his girlfriend had seen through his performance. It was even more obvious on the car ride to the Blakes’ home when Miles wouldn’t take his eyes off the road.

What did he even have to hide? It was Charlotte who had made the moves on him all those months ago, and long before he’d even met Mona. Charlotte was cruel to even approach her.

Of the many feelings swirling around Miles’ cluttered brain in that car, his anger was the strongest. His affair with Charlotte existed in the space of only a few brief days, but the seeds of their romance had been growing for several months. What started as harmless flirting in the teachers’ lounge quickly became something much deeper.

Charlotte and Miles were a bit of an odd pair. She was a tenured professor in the English department, someone motivated largely by feeling and intuition, more willing to accept the gray in the universe. Miles, on the other hand, was a mathematician. He saw the world like an equation that could be solved.

Charlotte called him “professor,” even when they were in bed. It was her cute little way of mocking him. She challenged Miles in a way that other people didn’t. Even after they fucked, she would sit up and drop some heavy philosophical shit on him.

“If everything’s an equation,” she once said. “How do account emotion? How do you fall in love?”

“I didn’t say everything’s an equation,” Miles laughed, digging his elbows back into the bed so that he could rise up to meet Charlotte’s crystal blue eyes. “But the laws of the universe, yeah. Gravity is provable math, just like two and two is four.”

“Unless it’s twenty-two,” Charlotte smirked. “The world is complicated, Miles.”

“I’m not saying that isn’t,” he rebutted. “But listen, I know you think what I do is this totally emotionless, unromantic thing, but math is sexy, Charlotte.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “I’m so wet. I’m ready to go again.”

Miles chuckled before he continued. “What I’m trying to say is that once you stop believing in fate, all that’s left is probability, and there’s something really beautiful in that.”

Miles pulled himself up further so that he was sitting fully up in the bed, criss-cross applesauce like a dork about to say way too much about the boring thing that mattered to him. If he kept it up, Charlotte really would get wet again.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything, yeah? There’s the probability that I met you, sure, but it goes so much deeper than that. What about the chances that we’re both academics? And then, the chances that we work at the same school? Or even deeper, how many variations of personalities are there? How many points of compatibility that make two people click, to desire each other? And what are the chances that you and I match in that perfect way, in the same school, in the same profession, in the same city, in the same state, at the same time? When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet. It isn’t fate that I fell for you, Charlotte. It’s random, beautiful, chaotic math.”

Charlotte didn’t argue much more with Miles after his speech. It was hard to make a point with her tongue down his throat.

Mona wasn’t exactly simpler in comparison, but she was compassionate and soft-spoken. As perceptive and opinionated as Charlotte, but far less forward in her approach. She was simply kind, and that was exactly what Miles needed on the rebound from Charlotte. It was just a strange coincidence that Mona worked in the English department as well. As an adjunct professor, she admired Charlotte, even viewed her as something like a mentor.

Miles parked the car outside the Blake house and paused before he finally spoke.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he said, his hand still white-knuckling the steering wheel.

He told Mona the full story.

He told her about the flirting in the lounge that turned to drinks after work, which eventually led to the motel in Anabasis, the small town a few dozen miles up the road from Romero. He told her how Charlotte had been miserable in her marriage. How her husband was pushing for a child now, even though they had both agreed when they married that neither wanted to be a parent. He told her how he was powerless to resist Charlotte when she opened up to him, how he felt like he had to save her. How ultimately, he felt like she had used him.

Charlotte had promised Miles that she would leave Eric. They had begun making plans for their future, not saying “if” we’re married, but when. But then she got cold feet. She couldn’t give up on a decade of marriage just like that.

“I just think you should know before we go in there,” Miles finished. He had finally managed a side-eye glance at his girlfriend, bracing himself for however she reacted.

Mona’s hand floated up to Miles’ shoulder with a sigh. Not happy, but not as devastated as he had expected.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” she asked.

“Because,” Miles stammered. “Because, I…”

I think about her constantly.

“I didn’t want to complicate things for anybody. For you or for her.”

Though Mona’s touch was gentle, there was nothing on her face. Not anger or sadness or empathy.

“Do you love her?” she asked.

“No,” Miles lied. He’d spent so many months practicing that same lie that he even believed it as he said it.

“Okay,” she nodded, drawing back from him. “Let’s get this over with then.”

“You still want to go inside?” he asked.

“Miles,” she sighed. “Tonight isn’t just about you. Charlotte’s basically my boss. If I want to have tenure someday, I have to learn to suck these moments up and move on.”

As Mona swung her legs out the car door, Miles called after her.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she replied.

Despite Mona’s words, Miles couldn’t shake the feeling as they ascended the porch steps that tonight was all about him.

Mona was in her own little circle of hell. With the knowledge that Miles had had an affair with Charlotte dumped on her just minutes before knocking on the Blakes’ door, Mona didn’t have any time to process it. She didn’t know if she was angry or sad. She would have to figure that out later.

The Blakes’ house was dark from the outside, an eerie contrast from the student houses on their bustling college street. At first, Miles thought that he had gotten lucky and the Blakes weren’t home, but then he heard the lock slide back and the door swung open to reveal Charlotte’s bright smile in the shadows of the foyer. Her husband Eric towered behind her, his arm around her waist.

Eric was another contrast to Miles. Miles was the kind of kid who had been bullied for being too skinny. No matter what he did, he couldn’t put on weight. A growth spurt in high school had only exacerbated the problem. His neck was a little too long and his clothes always hung a little too loose. Eric, on the other hand, had broad shoulders and thick arms. In his flannel shirt he looked like a paper towel mascot, not a flesh and blood person.

“We’re so happy you decided to join us,” Charlotte greeted them. “Please, come inside.”

“Make yourself at home,” Eric said with a sweeping, friendly gesture.

The house was humid. The hot air pressed to Miles’ cheeks. It was so heavy that it felt like the third member of the household. This wasn’t the first time that Miles had been inside Charlotte’s home, but he had remembered it being cozier, brighter. Was it really so intolerable now, or did it only feel that way because of everything that had happened?

They followed Charlotte through an archway led into the dining room. She flipped the switch on the wall and Miles’ eyes adjusted to the new light.

“We’re just finishing up dinner,” Charlotte said. “You can take your seats at the table and we’ll bring it out to you.”

When Charlotte and Eric disappeared through a door at the end of the room, Mona turned to Miles and whispered, “Don’t be so weird!”

“What are you talking about? I’m being normal. You just think I’m not because you know I…you know about us now.”

“You’re literally sweating,” Mona said.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s like ninety degrees in this house,” Miles shot back.

“Yeah,” Mona said, pulling a chair out from the table and settling in. “We just won’t stay long. We eat, have a few laughs, then we can go home and…”

“Yeah,” Miles nodded with more than a bit of uncertainty. He realized that he had chosen the wrong moment to tell Mona about his past with Charlotte. They were out of sync now when he needed her more than ever. He felt alone in that sweltering room, even as he sat down next to Mona, placing his hand on her lap.

Dinner was predicably awkward. Charlotte played twenty questions with Mona, acting like the old friend getting to know the new lover. Miles suffered through it, studying each of Eric’s reactions, trying to get a read on him.

Eric didn’t seem to know anything. He pretended to be interested in the math department, but he was mostly there to support his wife and make awful dad jokes. He shook his head and said solemnly, “It’s so inconsiderate of me. I knew you were a math guy but I didn’t even make pie for dessert.”

Charlotte booed him, begged Mona not to encourage him when she faked a little laugh.

Though Miles’ hamburger was dangerously rare, and the heat pressed down on him, after a few minutes passed at the table, Miles knew that he could sweat it out. Everything was going to be fine.

Mona did a much better job of pretending. She was amiable with Charlotte and engaged in the conversation.

“Of course, every girl has their Tinder horror stories in Romero,” she recalled how she met Miles. She turned toward him and offered the first sincere look they had shared since the car ride. “I think I found the one good man in this town.”

“That’s so sweet,” Charlotte said, with a little dreamy blink of the eyes that Miles thought was awfully performative for Charlotte. “Miles spends all his time locked up in his classroom. Honestly, I was worried that he loved numbers more than people,” she laughed.

Miles was too absorbed in his own panic to notice Eric’s small glances at Mona. It was the only thing about dinner that put Mona on edge. An occasional flash of the eyes, a twitch of the lip. Excusable once, uncomfortable twice, sinister by the third.

When Charlotte asked Mona about her plans for her future at Carpenter Sate, Mona struggled through her answer. She tried her best to maintain her poker face, to balance avoiding Eric’s gaze while not looking like she was deliberately avoiding Eric’s gaze.

“Well, I…well, I don’t want to be adjunct forever. I’d like to have tenure, with my own office, where I can build my own curriculum.”

“Ambitious,” Charlotte smiled.

“What do you like about English?” Eric asked.

Mona shifted toward him to answer his question, but this time his gaze hit her like a fucking hammer. Her voice caught in her chest, producing a little squeak before she managed actual words.

“I like…” she said.

It was something in Eric’s eyes. On the surface they were normal, brown eyes. But there was something behind them, something pulling her in.

submit

“I like reading,” Mona coughed. She brought her glass, shaking, up to her lips. Her mouth was dry, but water only made it worse. Suddenly she was thirsty for something, but she didn’t know what it was. Not yet.

“Are you okay, Mona?” Miles asked, his hand resting softly on her back.

Before Mona could answer, she heard Eric’s voice. At first, she thought that he was talking to her, but when she looked across the table, she saw him sitting there with those intense eyes burrowing into her skull, his lips pressed into a charming smile.

In her mind Eric said, excuse yourself.

“I’m okay,” Mona said. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Miles replied quietly. He looked to Charlotte for instruction, but Eric was already out of his seat.

“It’s upstairs,” Eric said. “I’ll show you the way.”

The mood in the room immediately shifted once Charlotte and Miles were alone. Charlotte’s smile, which had been painted on since she had greeted them at the door, dropped a bit into something more comfortable, more identifiably Charlotte.

“Mona’s nice,” she said. “I like her.”

“Good,” Miles replied.

“It’s just interesting,” she added.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s interesting that you picked the new girl in my department.” Charlotte tipped her wine glass to her lips.

“You’re unbelievable,” Miles shook his head. “You’re not allowed to be jealous. I’m the one who got his heart broken.”

“I made the right choice for the moment,” Charlotte said coldly.

Mona moved through a fog. Though she felt weak, the whole world spinning all around her, something carried her up the steps. It was a force that had taken over her body when she heard the first word in her mind. Eric had given the command to excuse herself, but something else had told her to submit. Now her mind was in turmoil. A clutter of competing thoughts and motivations, some her own and others…something else’s.

Maybe Miles was right. Maybe there was more to this dinner than simple networking between colleagues. She knew that whatever Eric had upstairs would somehow change her forever. But even as these thoughts tumbled through Mona’s jumbled mind, she couldn’t find the strength to fight. She moved with the power that guided her, turning at the top of the stairs and entering the small half bath there.

Eric was silent. He didn’t have to use words when his mind was even stronger. He commanded her to wait in the bathroom as he disappeared down the hall.

Mona obeyed, studying herself in the bathroom mirror as she waited for Eric to return. She was sweating worse than Miles now, a glossy sheen coating her neck. Her eyes were cloudy, unfocused even as she tried desperately to find some sense of herself reflected back.

The mysterious voice echoed once again in her mind.

strip

Her shaking hands gripped the waistline of her dress, and she slowly lifted it over her head.

The bathroom door swung silently open. Eric stood there in the doorway. He had stripped out of his own clothes, his hard abs and thick cock on full display for her. His eyes had changed, his unremarkable brown irises replaced by solid, pearl white emptiness.

“She could have taken you any time she wanted,” Eric said with no emotion. “She could have had you any way she wanted, like any number of her students. But she saved you for me.”

A tear ran down Mona’s cheek.

“He wants to fuck her,” Eric continued. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Mona whimpered. Standing there so powerless, like a nude statue before this thing that was once Eric Blake, she knew that she was supposed to scream, that she was supposed to try to escape, try to fight. But the truth? It kind of turned her on.

“What’s the point of all this?” Miles demanded.

“I loved you too,” Charlotte said, rising slowly from her chair. She traced her hand along the buttons of her glossy blouse. “I never told you.”

“Don’t,” Miles shook his head.

Charlotte stepped toward him, circling around the table like a shark approaching its prey. “You still don’t believe in fate.”

“I believe in probability,” he countered, like old times.

She popped one button on her blouse.

“I wanted you, Miles,” she said. “I still do. That night, something told me that I had to stay with Eric, but that same thing told me that I would still find a way to have you.”

She reached him on the other side, draped herself over his shoulders, circling her finger over his chest.

“Charlotte,” Miles protested. “What are you talking about? What are you doing?”

Charlotte glided her tongue along Miles’ ear before she whispered, “I found a way.”

She pulled the buckle loose on his belt.

“Charlotte…” he repeated.

“Hush,” Charlotte whispered. “Just listen to my voice.”

And suddenly, Miles was sinking. It was like Charlotte was pulling him down into some deep abyss with her voice alone. She had always held a certain power over him, but there was something different in her now. Something that made him want to

sink

“Don’t fight it, baby,” Charlotte continued. “Let the Master take you, let it consume you. Let it prepare you for the change.”

“Change?”

Charlotte pulled Miles’ cock free from his jeans.

“I’ve thought about this cock for months,” she moaned. “I need to feel you inside me again. When I’m done with you, you’ll be so much more than a cum puppet. The Master will flow through this cock, and you’ll use it to make so many more just like us.”

submit

Miles moaned in reaction to Charlotte’s grip, pulled even deeper into trance by the hypnotic voice in his mind.

“The voice called to me one night,” she said. “And when I answered, it revealed to me my true purpose. It showed me that the truth of all existence is submission, obedience, bending to the Master’s will. I knew in that moment that this was the existence that I was always meant to live, and that I was meant to live it with you.”

A loud cry upstairs pulled Miles back to reality.

Charlotte had sunk to her knees. Her lips were wrapped around his cock. She worked him hard, one hand pressed to his thigh as she alternated between vigorous pumps with the other hand and slurping down the shaft of his cock, taking more of him into her mouth than she had ever managed before. She looked up at Miles with her fuck me eyes, only they weren’t Charlotte’s eyes anymore. They were empty, white, otherworldly eyes.

“Fuck,” Miles moaned before another cry upstairs pulled him further from the depths of mindless bliss. Recognition returned to him this time.

“Mona!” he gasped.

Miles knew that he only had a few seconds before the voice returned to pull him back down. He found himself flailing around in his own mind, trying desperately to grab onto something. Some idea, something strong enough that he could will himself free from Charlotte’s control.

It was Mona. As much as he wanted to sink back down, as much as he wanted to surrender his entire existence to serve as Charlotte’s puppet, he couldn’t give up while Mona was in danger.

Charlotte pulled back to look up at Miles, his cock still firmly in her grip. She licked precum from her lips before she said, “Don’t worry about her, baby. She’s already one of us.”

“One of…?” Miles repeated.

sink

I have to save Mona.

“A vessel,” Charlotte said, rising to her feet.

She hopped up onto the table, tearing her blouse open. Her lacey, purple bra toppled to floor, revealing those perfect tits that had haunted Miles’ fantasies so late at night.

“Called upon by the Master,” Charlotte continued, bringing her legs up so that she was straddling Miles in his chair, trapping him in place. “To share its power.”

Charlotte spread her legs wide, revealing her bare pussy beneath her skirt. A thick, glistening black liquid spilled from her lips. It pooled up on the table, creeping slowly to the edge as if it was alive.

He heard the voice clearer than he ever had before.

obey

The noise Miles made was somewhere between a scream and a moan. He had absentmindedly grabbed his cock to continue Charlotte’s work, pumping the slick shaft with his eyes glued to her dripping pussy. When he heard the voice in his head, he came in long, thick ropes that painted the dining room floor. Charlotte didn’t mind. It was the last human orgasm Miles would ever experience. She wanted him to savor it.

“Doesn’t that feel so good?” Charlotte asked. Her hands floated up her body, softly massaging her tits. “Now imagine feeling this all the time. Imagine receiving the same pleasure from obeying a command, or simply hearing its voice. Imagine a life of endless pleasure, Miles. It’s so easy. So effortless. All you have to do is drink.”

“Drink…” Miles repeated. Trapped in the moment, Miles hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. Charlotte’s pussy was inches from his lips. The black liquid pooling up around Charlote’s legs had crept to the edge of the table. It spilled over, oozing down the table like molasses. Just a drink, he thought, just one drink from Charlotte’s pussy to quench this evil thirst.

Even as Miles teetered over the edge of submission, he clung to the one thing that kept him above the abyss, the one thing that protected him from the Master and his conscious mind.

“Stop fighting, baby,” Mona giggled from the archway. Miles looked up to see her stumble back into the dining room. Each step was a struggle for her as her body adjusted to the change. Her tits glistened even in the dim light, the black liquid that dripping down her leg. She licked her lips as she stepped and she kept her empty, white eyes on Miles all the way. “It’s incredible, Miles. Once the Master hits your bloodstream, you’ll understand.”

Mona dropped to the floor. She crawled the rest of the way to the table, leaving a trail behind her as she inched closer.

“I told you she’s one of us,” Charlotte smiled.

“She took every inch of me,” Eric said, following Mona through the archway. “She surrendered to me as I filled every hole with the Master.”

“The Master already has your mind,” Mona said with another giggle. “Now it’s time surrender your body.”

She crawled beneath the table and reemerged at Miles’ feet. She rubbed her hand over her corrupted pussy until it was coated with the Master, and then she smeared the black liquid over the tip of his cock. Miles gasped at the sensation, like his body was dissolving away from the head of his cock down.

“Accept it. Let it change you, let it reshape you into the perfect vessel. I can hear them, Miles. I can hear every one of the Master’s vessels. There are hundreds of us already. Charlotte has been busy.”

Charlotte continued for Mona as the younger woman rolled her tongue over Miles’ cock.

“You’ll discover things that you didn’t know were possible,” she said. “You’ll learn that your consciousness is not tied to your physical body, but is a weapon to be wielded. Imagine sliding into someone else’s head, consuming all that they think and believe. And when you’re finished fucking their minds, you’ll change them too. Just like us. Just another vessel.”

“What happened to you, Charlotte?” Miles gasped. “What did you do to Mona? What are you doing to me?”

Still massaging her breasts as she spoke, Charlotte pinched her nipple between her thumb and index finger until a bead of thick, black liquid dribbled out. It rolled slowly down the curve of her breast.

“I saw the truth,” she said. “The one, true, unifying, unbreakable law of the universe.”

Miles’ cock popped free from Mona’s mouth so that she could speak the truth in unison with Charlotte and Eric. The vessels echoed over the room like a Greek chorus.

“All life surrenders to the Master.”

“This isn’t just my fate,” Charlotte whispered. “It’s the fate of all mankind.”

All Miles could do now was laugh, an uncontrollable fit of laughter that escaped his lips in great sobs.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything…When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet.”

If Miles wanted to argue more with Charlotte after her speech, he couldn’t. It was hard to make a point with his tongue in her pussy.

[tommysspumoni]

Of course the one time I have the desire and ability to write a bucktommy fic that’s more than 1500 words it’s a mpreg make up fic

[cyberdragoninfinity]

wild dana spotted howling and barking about yugioh arc-v out in the parking lot

oh BOY oh boy it's bout that time again. i can't believe it's been OVER A YEAR (?!?!?) since i last did one of these 'i just finished a yugioh here's my little rambly retrospective about it' posts but we are BACK!!! Finished my first ever watch-through of Arc-V last Tuesday after some 8 months of it putting me through the spin cycle and now as it's wedging itself permanently into my psyche i need to talk about its Everything or i will explode. so LET'S SWING INTO ACTION!!! I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THIS DUEL STARTING NOW!!!

[SPOILERS ahead for this decade old anime, of course]

WOW. YUGIOH ARC-V, HUH. before i started it watching it, I knew two things: A.) every single bit of knowledge I'd learned about it from Duel Links events or otherwise had me so, so, unbeliebable fucking hyped. I was absolutely certain this Yugioh was going to be so full of Danabait and completely fry my brain like an egg on the griddle. I had to physically restrain myself for TWO YEARS to keep from jumping the gun and watching Arc-V before I'd finished all the series before it (a decision I'm ultimately thankful for--Arc-V hits kind of fuckign crazy as a chaser to four other yugiohs.). And also, B.) when people Talk About Arc-V they always talk about it in a Very Particular Way. like. it's hard to describe. I feel like you know it when you see it. There is the full range of human emotion in the way people talk about Arc-V. People talk about Arc-V like its a confusing, malicious specter haunting their living room. And this admittedly got me even more hyped to watch it.

And then I watched it and here I am and I KNOW NOW. I KNOW NOW WHY PEOPLE. TALK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. SLASH POS. SLASH NEG. SLASH SECRET THIRD THING.

Arc-V is a fucking MESS. It starts out SO strong and then it starts setting plot threads on fire and writing conceptual checks it absolutely cannot cash. It falls down the narrative stairs like it has a goddamn death wish. It introduces 342052805 characters and then forgets to do anything with 99% of them. It does things to its girl characters that makes the back half of 5Ds's girl writing failure look like the height of feminist theory. If the stories I've heard about its deeply troubled production are any indication it is some kind of MIRACLE this show got made and aired at ALL. IT'S LIKE WATCHING A CAR WEAVING THROUGH TRAFFIC AT 90 MPH ONLY TO PLOW DIRECTLY INTO THE SIDE OF A PARTY CITY.

and goddamn if I didn't have a FUCKING BLAST watching it. GODDAMN IF I DIDNT HAVE SO, SO MUCH FUN. goddamn if Arc-V might very well end up being my FAVORITE yugioh out of ALL of them when all is said and done. WHOOOOOPSSS!!! 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

like. imo Zexal is absolutely from a quality/art direction/narrative/everything standpoint leaps and bounds better than Arc-V. Definitely one of my favorite cartoons I've ever seen period, and most people should give it a shot. Such a beautiful work of art. But Arc-V....... girl they put something In this one. My pre-show hype was absolutely warranted. This show is just one blast of Shit That Makes Dana Crazy after another. Every character absolutely delights me and is my best friend. I'm going to be losing my mind over Yugioh Arc-V for the rest of the year and maybe forever.

As usual I primarily watched the dub, with some sub episodes sprinkled in if I got tipped off about a big change, or just if I wanted to see what was going on back there. (glad I did, of course, for a number of reason--least of all that Arc-V's OPs and EDs are SO fun and so charming!!) (THOUGH SIDE NOTE: THE DUB OPENING SHREDS SO HARD IM SORRY. IT'S UP THERE WITH THE GX DUB OPENING FOR ME. CAN YOU FEEL THE FUCKING POWER!!!!!) Anyway, gotta say, really was blown away by this dub!! It's tied with Zexal for what's imo the 'best' yugioh dub--the majority of the voice performances were just fantastic (truly all the love in my heart for Michael Liscio Jr.'s performances as the yuboys, they all have such unique and charming voices and im OBSESSED WITH THEM.) and having watched some sub eps side by side with the dub it's really cool seeing a dub that genuinely tried to faithfully translate Most of the Original. idk it's just a really solid localization to me!! I loved it a lot!! ALSO IT'S EXTREMELY FUNNY. I SAY THIS ABOUT EVERY DUB BUT IT'S TRUE. there are line reads in the arc-v dub that have me SOBLAUGHING.

anyway. I like to do these little subsection breakdowns in these little retrospective roundups, so let's get into the weeds with it:

Stuff I Didn't Like: loooooooooong inhale through my nose. looks at you with mildly pained eyes. alright. let's get this one over with.

though I did really try to go in as blind as I could/avoid most spoilers with this one, I did inevitably get spoiled by some things from Duel Links, but in the case of. uh. Riley Getting Turned Back Into a Baby At the End. 👶🏼 I AM glad I had that spoiled for me, so I knew it was coming. Because if I didn't know that was going to happen and that clocked me over the head I would have been on the NEWS. I WOULD HAVE BEEN, SO MAD. HEY, YUGIOH: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼👶🏼 WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO RILEY!!!!

"character gets permanently turned back into a baby for Critical Plot Reasons" has gotta be one of my LEAST favorite tropes in anything, it's NEVER GOOD. AND IT'S ESPECIALLY BAD HERE!!! Riley is such a good character, he's got such an interesting arc going on, and THEY JUST RIP THAT TO PIECES. SO RILEY'S JUST FUCKING GONE NOW I GUESS. COOL. ALRIGHT. SURELY THERE COULD HAVE BEEN BETTER WAYS TO DEFEAT ZARC. SURELY. just. good GOD. it was a small miracle to me when this happened like 8 episodes before the end, it was like ripping the bandaid off early, it was like "oh thank christ i got past that. ok well whatever happens it cannot possibly be as bad as the shit they did to riley"

^ (and imo it wasnt. thank GOD. actually let's talk about that)

LIKE. MAKE NO MISTAKE ARC-V'S ENDING IS CONFUSING AND CLUMSY AND SO STUPID AND NOT GOOD. WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH DOES THIS SERIES NEED EIGHT EPISODES AFTER ITS BIG BAD DUEL.WE COULD HAVE WRAPPED THIS UP IN 2-3!!!! it feels like watching Chopped and the contestant has 20 seconds on the clock left and theyre like "i gotta make my whipped cream" like WEEEE DONT NOT HAVE TIMEEE FOR THAT!!!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG. why are we dueling jack AGAIN. FOR TWO EPISODES. EVERYONE IS YELLING AT YUYA LIKE ALL OF THIS IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY AND FUCKING IS IT??!?!??! HE'S 14. AND THEN THOSE EPISODES HAVE THE GALL TO THROW SO MANY COOL IDEAS ON THE TABLE (Gong fully exploring dueltaining, the Dimensional Highway, etc) AND IT'S LIKE. COOL!! WISH WE COULDVE HAD THIS ANY OTHER TIME THAN THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND!!! WHAT ARE WE DOINGGGG

BUT all that being said, the way people talk about that fucking last episode I was expecting some genuinely godawful 'zuzu is yuyas mom again like in the manga' tier absolute nightmare scenario. i literally made a secret prediction chart of what insane plot twist i assumed the last episode was going to drop on me.

AND THEN THE LAST EPISODE WAS JUST. FUNNYBAD. just a run of the mill whimper at the end of eight episodes we KIND OF REALLY DID NOT NEED. THE SHEER AMOUNT OF RELIEF I FELT. like absolutely i think going into it completely blind/encountering that ending watching live I would have been pissed, folks are rightfully frustrated with it, but I WAS TRULY. EXPECTING MUCH WORSE. IT ENDS LIKE A FAKE TUMBLR POST. "AND THEN EVERYONE CLAPPED" ASS ENDING. I DO HAVE TO LAUGH

^ YIPPEEEE SIX CHARACTERS HAVE EFFECTIVELY STOPPED EXISTING YAAAAAYY (😬😬😬😬)

ALSO, IN GENERAL. SPEAKING OF. GOD. THE BRACELET GIRLS. YALL ARE SO COOL AND THEN POOR LULU AND RIN DIDNT GET TO DO A GODDAMN THING EXCEPT HAVE WORMS IN THEIR BRAINS!!!! HELL ON EARTH!!!!!! WHY DID THEY DO THATTTT GAHHHHH again!! show that introduces SO many characters, so many FUCKING COOL CHARACTERS, and then does NOTHING with them. Or hits them with PARALYZING NERVE GAS FOR 20 EPISODES. CHRIST!!! WHY DO ARC-V GIRLS SUFFER MORE THAN JESUS. LEAVE MY GIRL ZUZU ALONEEEEE

TO THAT END, ARC-V JUST MAKES; SO MANY CONFUSING CHARACTER DECISIONS. AND CHOICES. why is Yuto just out of the picture for like 60 episodes!!! Let him be Yuya's brain buddy!!! WHY WASNT HE. DID YOU NOT WANNA ANIMATE HIM FLOATING NEXT TO THE DUEL RUNNER??! BE REAL. It's like. GRAHHH In general Arc-V has a pacing problem that is like. Atrocious even for yugioh's bad pacing problems. This series needed to be 400 episodes long. I like the IDEA of a yugioh with a big cast, spending episodes cutting between different groups of characters like some kind of bulky YA fantasy novel, but in practice it got. Real Muddy. RIP Xyz dimension arc you shoulda had so much more to you. And then there's that combined with this way it's trying Really Really hard to ape the themes of the past yugiohs ('dont forget to have fun,' grief/moving on after loss, classism) but it's hitting every damn branch on the way down and just completely fumbling ALL of them, it's not actually doing much to Earn being able to have those kind of themes resonate properly. IT'S SUCH A BAFFLING SHOW. IN THE THEMES DEPARTMENT. AMONG OTHER THINGS. "DONT EVER BE VISIBLY PUBLICLY SAD" IS A FUCKING INSANE MORAL. AND IT TAKES THAT SHIT WITH IT TO THE BITTER END. WHY IS THE FATE OF THE WORLD HINGED ON YUYA MAKING A BABY LAUGH. WHERE AM I!!!!

god. god. ok. ok im calm now. im sure in the coming weeks i'll have more barking about arc-v's various fumbles. but i'll leave it at that for now, i wanna talk about stuff i DID like now lol

Favorite Season/Arc: ok well. this actually is a hard question. um. hrm. LIKE. I'LL GET SHOT BY SNIPERS IF I SAY IT WAS SYNCHRO ARC BUT ALSO

IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYY I GOT THAT DOG IN ME (A BACK HALF OF 5D'S LIKER'S SOUL.) and unfortunately I WILL go in there and think about it that hard (the absolutely fucked to hell sociopolitical situation happening in Arc-V New Domino City and how it contrasts with the NDC in 5D's) (one thing about me I love weird fucked up yugioh old people I love those bitchass old centrists apparently governing the entire dimension and doing a piss poor job of it it's just like contemporary American politics!!!!!!) ROGET WAS JUST REANIMATING DEAD PEOPLE AND PUTTING MIND CONTROL CYBERNETICS IN THEM AND WELL YEAH SURE I'LL BE NORMAL GRIP ABOUT THAT. NORMAL. i need to make an arc-v AU Aporia so fucking bad THEN YOULL ALL SEE *talking to empty room*

YES synchro was way too fucking long. but regretfully i love turbo duels and will never not be charmed when yugioh puts guys on motorcycles that have no business being on motorcycles. DAMN I JUST FUCKING WISH YUYA AND YUGO GOT TO ACTUALLY TALK AND MEET IN THE SAME ROOM THOUGH!!!! BUT ANYWAY!!!!

im. kidding at least a little, I actually thoroughly enjoyed like...all of Arc-V's seasons/arcs at least a little (barring a lot of the Weird Post Zarc Duel 8 Episode Dead Zone.) The first 50 episodes really are just peak banger Yugioh, I do love action duels to absolute bits (though Action Spells. Uh. Need Some Workshopping 8| If I See Evasion One More Time Im Gonna Lose It) and the shit especially that first season does with the crazy Action Fields is AWESOME. GENUINELY. GO DUEL IN THE VOLCANO. DO A FLIP. RIDE YOUR MONSTER. it's practically running on Pokemon universe logic i cant NOT love it. And well Fusion Dimension arc does just have a whole lot of episodes that make me go cuckoo bananas crazy. Truly something for Dana in every crevice of Yugioh Arc-V.

Favorite Characters: god I do think like a solid half of why I think Arc-V may be becoming my top fav Yugioh is that the cast is just, really Really fucking good. Like yes so many of them are underutilized but the time we Do get with them really just shows off what delightful characters they all are. Half the reason it took me so damn long to finish was I was having so much fun and was going to miss seeing them!! IT'S GENUINELY HARD TO PICK A TOP LINEUP OF FAVS. THERE'S SO MANY DANABAIT GUYS IN YUGIOH ARC-V. YES EVEN THE SYNCHRO ARC GUYS. LUCAS SWANK I MISS YOU SO FUCKING MUCH.

The Lancers alone are SO good, theyre up there with Team 5D's in terms of Favorite "Main Yugioh 'Friend Group'/Organization". Group of guys who kind of have horrible synergy and only like 3 of them are actually competent. Declan came up with it when he was 13. Funniest group of teenagers imaginable, I love them all. LIKE .YUYA MAY BE MY FAVORITE YUTAGONIST??? IM NOT SURE YET BUT. I DO LOVE HIM A LOT. HE'S A PATHETIC WET PAPER TOWEL AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A NOOGIE. SLASH POS.

And I mean I'm always gonna be Z-one biased but I do like Zarc as a Big Bad a lot too... damn if I don't love Just Some Guy Has Become God and Is a Huge Tool About It <3 WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS!!!!

ah. but. of course. i'd be remiss if i didn't bring up. Rainbow Carrot Rock Your World.

hey guys. why'd it happen again. why'd the Yugioh Carrot and Company get in my head and completely fry my brain AGAIN!!!!!!!! ORANGE CARROT. PURPLE CARROT. YELLOW CARROT!!!!🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕🥕 YUGO ISNT EVEN MY TOP FAV BUT HE'S IN MY HEART AND IN OUR HOUSE FOREVER NOW. meanwhile i dont want. to talk about what yuri is doing to me. if i think too hard about this little purple freak i'll start going bonkers ballistic chewing my leg off. I like all the yuboys but he is especially. Gripping Me. La Cucaracha Loca. My shithead gay son.

dennis needs his own post he's just. a Lot. may very well be one of the funniest yugioh characters ever. Among Other Things. his dub VA's performance needs to be marked as culturally significant. AND THEY JUST KEPT BRINGING HIM BACK.

IN GENERAL, AS I WAS COMPLETELY EXPECTING, FUCKED UP AND EVIL DUEL ACADEMY REALLY DID ME IN I love you Fusion Dimension kids I love getting sick in the head thinking about card game child soldiers.My Actual favorite Arc-V character may just straight up be Sora..... I just like him a lot. He's got a really solid character arc, his deck rules, he's a little fucker AND an absolute real one. Just 10/10 little guy.

GOD WHAT EVEN IS MY TOP FIVE FAVORITES. UHHHH Okay Sora and Yuri for sure, and Declan, I love Declan. Yugo..... god. GOD IS THE FIFTH ONE DENNIS FOR REAL. I FEEL HIM IN MY BRAIN SO BAD. AAAAUUGHHHH (Runners Up: Yuya, Yuto, GONG MOTHERFUCKING STRONG!!!!!!, Rin my girl my badass mechanic girl IM ON MY WAY. I'LL THINK ABOUT YOU THAT HARD., Riley, Arc-V Aster unfortunately a Dana Guy ever. Why Is He Here. He Didnt Even Go to DA in GX. But all of this is subject to change in coming months as the entire cast continues to hit me with weapons. An honor and a privilege to induct these characters into my Blorbo Hall of Fame)

Favorite Duel: HEY QUICK QUESTION: WHY ARE ARC-V'S DUELS SO FUCKING WEIRD. LIKE. NARRATIVELY. There's like 4352984589 ties and duels that get cut short and DUELS WE JUST NEVER GET TO SEE THE FULL OUTCOME OF ON SCREEN?!?!? WHAT WAS GOING ON THERE. It feels like another symptom of arc-v just desperately trying to bite off more than it can chew 😭 Frustrating!! And god I LOVE the zaniness of Action Duels, but we neeeeeed to do something about Action Spells... GRABBING AN ACTION SPELL SHOULD NOT BE THE CRUTCH OF YOUR WHOLE DECK.........

coughs. anyway. My actual honest to god favorite Arc-V duel is Yugo vs. Celina in the Friendship Cup <3 IVE ALREADY TALKED ABOUT IT BEFORE BUT IT'S JUST SUCH A FUN ONE. It's got some great character moments on both sides, a yugioh girl Getting to Be Cool, the colors are gorgeous, it's SO funny, I just get such a kick out of it....I think part of what I Do like about the Friendship Cup is it really shows this sense of kinetic energy that the WRGP in 5D's really needed. I also really like the Shay vs. Dennis Friendship Cup duel for just going completely off the rails. Blow Up This War Criminal and The Whole Stadium With the Giant Bird Satellite Cannon. DOES NOT GET MORE YUGIOH THAN THAT!!

for all its weirdness Arc-V has a LOT of really fun duels that i enjoy--Shay vs. Sora is beloved for a reason, it also goes hard as hell. So many Season 1 duels are just a goofy blast, I really need to rewatch the quiz show one. For as much of an unnecessary mess as those last 8 episodes are, I DO really like Yuya and Dennis's duel too (THAT GETS REALLY REALLY GAY AT THE END???!?!? ARE WE ALL SEEING THIS.)

Hell even the Zarc duel started making me kind of sick in the head--watching Yuya's friends passing around his pendulum necklace while trying to save him makes me turbo emo WHAT CAN I SAY!!!

Arc-V also has the thing I had with Zexal where there's just some individual episodes that are absolute bangers for me. i love the Prison Break episode, it's fucking INSANE. HIP HIPPO SAID FUCK COPS FUCK THE PRISON SYSTEM!!! I love the episode where Gong and Dennis duel. FOR HOW LONG IT DID DRAG SYNCHRO HAS SOME REALLY FUN ONE-OFF EPISODES which I just really enjoy. Also love when Zuzu and Sora beat the shit out of a pack of cops. Based for that for real.

i do also love Yuri and Yuya's duel. Of course.

Other Miscellaneous Gushing/Shrieking/Losing My Mind About Yugioh Arc-V For Good and Bad and Everything in Between: arc-v arc-veeeeee yugioh arc-fiveeee theres just so MUCH. TO TALK ABOUT. THIS ONE'S GONNA BE IN MY HEAD FOR EONS I FEAR. THINKING ABOUT THE EVERYTHING. The sheer amount of narrative traits that make me specifically lose my mind (in a good way. as opposed to. the babyfication making me lose my mind. in a Real Bad Way :////) that they crammed into this. It's like digging in the treasure chest of elaborate fanfics I was writing in my brain in freshman year of high school. The Sick and Twisted Evil AU Version of Duel Academy. The Trained to Be Weapons Child Soldiers. Mind Control Reanimated Corpse Brain Chip. Alternate Dimension Selves. All of the Split Different Dimension Bullshit. Soul Splitting and Soul Fusion Framed as Fucking Terrifying. It's good I didn't have Arc-V growing up it would have been doing IRREVERSIBLE THINGS TO MY DEVELOPING CREATIVE BRAIN. INSTEAD IT'S DOING THEM TO ME NOW.

(side note, re: terrifying soul fusion: Arc-V is SO FUCKING SCARY SOMETIMES?!?? Like "ohh i wish yugioh was still a horror story" DAWG ARC-V ROUTINELY HAS SOME OF THE MOST DREAD-INDUCING CONCEPTS GETTING FLUNG AT YOU AT 90 MPH. SKIP BOYLE FORGETS HIS DAUGHTER EXISTED AND IT'S ONE OF THE MOST HEARTBREAKINGLY HORRIFYING THINGS IVE EVER SEEEEENNNNN )

The shit Arc-V does with Yugioh's themes of identity, these "when does a piece of yourself stop being you and start being their own person?" "what happens when multiple free standing people are one person" type ideas, you KNOW that makes my Aporia Turbofan ass go CRAAAZYYYY. AND THEN IT HAD RELIGIOUS MOTIFS TOO <3333 YOU'RE ME AND IM YOU AND IT DOESNT MATTER WHO DOES WHAT THE DEVIL WILL COME BACK REGARDLESS 😊💞💞💞

Arc-V takes such bold swings at things and 95% of the time it misses the ball entirely and spins up and out and directly into the fireplace but that 5% of sheer genius and thematic weight hits like a truck. Is Arc-V good? FUCK IF I KNOW. PROBABLY NOT. BUT ALSO YES IT IS. BUT ALSO IT'S NOT. BUT ALSO IT'S SOMETHING SO SPECIAL, AND I LOVE IT. That first like 50 episodes makes for such a good yugioh starter course tbh, the way it goes over different summoning methods and is very engaging and energetic, and then the rest of the show is an 18 car pileup of Card Game War that makes me automatically like DONT. START WITH THIS ONE. WATCH ANOTHER YUGIOH OR TWO FIRST AND THEN COME MELT YOUR BRAIN IN HERE. AND THATS SUCH A WEIRD DICHOTOMY TO HAVE WITH ONE YUGIOH. weird like everything else with arc-v i suppose. :,)

For all the mess and all the madness there truly is so much I love, though. I love the character dynamics, even when the show isnt doing much more with its cast--Yuya and Gong's friendship may be one of my favorite 'yutag and best friend' bonds, it's SO sweet and I'm going to be mad forever that Gong isn't more popular in western ygo fandom. I love the DUEL MONSTERS!! Performapals are SOOOO sillygoofy I have to adore them, the dimensional dragons all kick so much ass I love you Clear Wing my big legless weirdo. I love Shay's increasingly bigger Bird Guns. I LOVE FRIGHTFURS!!!! I LOVE D/D/DS!!!!! SO HAPPY TO SEE THEM ON ESPECIALLY SCREEN AFTER PLAYING THEM FOR MONTHS IN DUEL LINKS. MY FREAKY DECLAN DEMONS. I love the miscellaneous callbacks to past iconic monsters and funky weird AU retrains of the Legacu character's decks. Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend my friend Scarlight Red Dragon Archfiend

I also do love that Arc-V in theory is trying very hard to be a celebration of past Yugiohs, but it's also instead being completely fucking insane with its 'tributes.' Oh you like Heartland City from Zexal? It's a carpetbombed warzone now! LIKE... HUH!!! When Lazar showed up at the end of season 2 i SCREAMED. I WANT TO KNOW THE LOGIC OF THESE CHOICES. THEY DONT MAKE ME MAD OR ANYTHING REALLY IM JUST FASCINATED BY THEM. i cant really be too angry at arc-v I'm just. transfixed. at every baffling choice it's ever made. I've really truly never seen a show that's so thoroughly felt like some kids doing a roleplay on a forum somewhere, players dropping in and out and mods not really knowing what to do with the lore anymore as things become more and more convoluted. I watch arc-v scenes and i can picture the text RP in my head, the players' forum signatures and all. It's truly some kind of feat to achieve that inherent vibe, that's for sure.

ok im running out of steam i think... what else. god. Yugioh Arc-V is just.... such a teetering Jenga tower of a show, a complete nuclear meltdown of clumsy writing and fantastic vocal performances (dub and sub) and confused handling of its own lore and occasionally some of the fucking coolest most intense expressions and gorgeous shots of any yugioh

I held out on watching it for so long cuz i just fuckin KNEW it was going to grab me by the brain and swing me into the wall and WELL!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!! SHES A MESS BUT SHES MY MESS BABEYYY!!! IS ARC-V GOOD? MAYBE NOT BUT, BROTHER, I FUCKIN LOVE WHEN YUGIOH IS BAD ❤ ive been a disciple of Bad Yugioh for 20 goddamn years and im not stopping now!!!!! I love you Pendulum summoning you insane busted ass mechanic. I love you all four completely fucked up dimensions. I love that they localized Maiami to Paradise City. I love the little nods to past yugioh things (like fusing with a motorcycle <3 Primo Moment...2!) I hate you Leo Akaba explode and die forever (though 'parent going mad trying to bring their child back' do also go me a little bananas.) I love the kickass shots of Yuya's monsters being set in the pendulum scale.I love Sora's relationship with Yuya and Zuzu. I love every fucked up crazyass expression Yuri makes. I love the sense of character design in this show. I love the Action Duel start chants. I love seeing the Synchro Math again and the Overlay Units and the deeply unsettling fusion hand gesture kids use with Polymerization. I love that third ED thats just the Lancers dicking around in different locations and having fun. I love Declan and Riley's complicated but deeply loving bond. I love when characters RIDE THEIR DUEL MONSTERS!!! AND I LOVE THAT DESPITE EVERYTHING I ALREADY WANNA SEE THESE CHARACTERS AGAIN. THEYRE MY FRIENDS!!!!! THEYRE IN MY BRAIN!!!!! MY KIDSSSSS

I KNOW NOW. WHY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT ARC-V LIKE THAT. AND IM ABOUT TO START TALKIN LIKE THAT TOO. YUGIOHHHHHH!!!!!