#this is 4000 words

[pinimi]

Armand orchestrated Madeleine’s death because she so easily outcunted him. Absolutely no effort just laughed him in the face at his questions “yeah I can live and be mentally stable for eternity. what, like it’s hard?” she said skill issue if you can’t handle killing as a vampire. Every night Armand has seven different existential crisis and Madeleine sleeps soundly without a shred of guilt WHILE ALSO looking dead drop gorgeous and being funnier than everyone around her. Armand had to take her out early. He never stood a chance

[dr3amfyr-e]

brat. - j.v. ( w. 4.5k )

꒰ in which the boy you see every summer enrolls in the same university as you. ꒱ — modern!jacaerys velayron x reader

୨ ⎯ i cannot stress enough, football means ⚽️ not 🏈. childhood-friends-to-lovers, but you have to get through my 2000 word psychoanalysis and backstory first. light angst. mention of the death of a parent. lots and lots of talk about the velaryon-targaryen-hightower family dynamic. light make out action. reader's family is implied to be wealthy enough to have a summer home. almost everyone lives au. set in the uk, not westeros. omitted daemon rhaenyra marriage because there’s no way to to make it even semi-normal. realizing now i omitted daemon entirely erm sorry. pushing the laenor agenda bc he’s my favorite character. this is abhorently long. extreme overuse of the em-dash. uhh the perspective is wonky in a few places. part two. ⎯ ୧

i had to write this twice. i'm offering this to you with shaking hands, like a peasent child begging for coins. i may write a part two because i have more to say, but i don't want to figure it out rn.

On the cold January morning that Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen was born, the media went into a frenzy. 

The Targaryens were old money, their fortune rooted a century back in good investments. Historically adept at finding their way into things, the empire had a string to pull in every industry. From art and law to technology and shipping, if business prospects looked good there would be a Targaryen investment.

And then there were the dogs — regal greyhounds, with long, thin bodies and sleek coats. The Targaryens bred them as far back as bloodline records went. The pups were never for sale; sometimes they were used as show dogs, and successful show dogs they were, but more often they were pets. It was a status symbol, to nonchalantly own such a coveted creature. 

The Targaryens were idolized in the public eye. They were all stunning, with sharp features and silver hair, and each member of the family seemed to possess a Midas touch. But, where Valyrian blood ran hot, so did the press. It was no surprise when magazines started to turn a profit from silver heads plastered across their glossy covers. It was the price that came with God-like aristocracy.

From editorials to gossip columns, people devoured the insider life of the untouchables. When Aemma Targaryen died, there was a four-page spread in nearly every magazine; complete with pictures and quotes. Business papers filled with opinion pieces about Rhaenyra’s inheritance claim to her family’s empire; magazines exploded with the announcement of her engagement to Laenor Velaryon, and subsequently Viserys’ marriage to Alicent Hightower, the daughter of his lawyer. 

When Jacaerys was born, reporters lined up outside of the hospital doors. There were cameras and microphones and crew trucks, and Rhaenyra hated it. It wasn’t the way she wished to welcome her child into the world — swarmed by people who didn’t know nor care for him.

Laenor had always been good at navigating the attention, and Rhaenyra was constantly grateful. So, when he pulled his gaze from the babe and steeled himself to deal with the onslaught of reporters outside, tears pricked at her eyes. Appreciation, exhaustion, adoration? She couldn’t be sure. 

Looking down at her son, she thought, he’s perfect. He had a smattering of dark hair, and he was quiet but not concerningly so. Wispy lashes fell upon his cherub cheeks, and when he eventually blinked up at her his eyes were dark. He looked nothing like her — she didn’t care. 

She refused to talk to anyone outside of her family, and had the curtains in her private room drawn. To expose her son, her heart, to the prying eyes of the bored masses with nary a care for his well-being was a nightmare. She wouldn’t have him exploited. 

At the time of Jacaerys’ birth, she and Laenor had been married for a little over a year. Laenor’s father, Corlys, managed the bulk of the import and export for Viserys’ company. Corlys was a good man, he hadn’t dreamed of marrying his son off. But Laenor and Rhaenyra were both in the same impossible situation: the wiles of youth mixed with the ever critical public. 

They had both fallen into scandalous relationships, both preyed on by paparazzi. If they married one another, it would save face for both of their families. Plus — both being the eldest and heir, this would clear the expectation of a dignified marriage. They agreed to leave each other to whatever youthful fun they wanted to have, as long as everything was discreet. 

Both the Velaryons and the Targaryens kept a summer home in Dragonstone, a private community in coastal Wales. It was the perfect place for Rhaenyra and Laenor to begin their life — far from her father, close to his parents, and out of the line of sight for any nosy journalist. 

The public eye had looked to other things by the time Lucerys was born, two years later. Again, Laenor dealt with the small gathering of reporters with the utmost grace, and Rhaenyra submitted a written statement. 

Alicent divorced Viserys that same year. 

As she watched her boys grow up, full of energy and life, Rhaenyra thought, there was no one better to parent with than her best friend — a title Laenor had rightfully earned. They hadn’t had much choice in knowing each other, and they certainly would never have chosen to be married, but he made a bearable roommate. They had things in common; they liked the same music, and the same men. They drank the same wine and frequented the same restaurants. And, they both loved their boys. 

As Jace and Luke grew up, they found the best company in each other — the school in Dragonstone was so small, though, that there were very few other options. They both played on the school’s small football team, and Jace took piano lessons while Luke learned to fence. Where Jace was driven by emotion, Luke was level-headed; where Luke was cautiously quiet, Jace spoke his mind. It was an ideal childhood, the Welsh coast was an idyllic backdrop to grow up upon, with the sea in their backyard. 

They were ten and eight when Joffrey was born, both excited for their new brother. Their mother brought him home, bundled in a soft red blanket. The boys sat on the couch beside Rhaenys and stared at him for upwards of an hour. 

Hardly a week had passed when Harwin Strong died. He was a family friend, a frequent presence in their home and life — Jace and Luke had been upset by this, of course. 

In time they came to understand the situation fully. Jacaerys first, fitting the pieces together with the evidence he found in the mirror. Neither Rhaenyra nor Laenor had dark hair, like he and his brothers. 

His matriline was uncontestable though, as he grew into himself. He possessed the same nose, jaw, brow, and high cheekbones that Rhaenyra wore. The comparisons between the two became more frequent as he grew older, and he found himself to be quite proud to look like her. 

Her attitude lived in him as well, the temperament she had been so notorious for as a girl festered in her eldest son. She had once been christened ‘The Princess of Dragonstone’ after flipping off a reporter at their summer home. Jacearys earned it for himself when he was fifteen, after loudly berating a reporter. He had been defending Luke, but no one seemed to care when they deigned him ‘The Prince of Dragonstone’. He took it with grace, claiming that he couldn’t help but be his mother’s child.

It instilled a sense of public propriety he strove to uphold. 

Rhaenyra remarried the same year — to Alicent Hightower — and moved her children from Wales to London. It took a while to adjust to the new life — Jace liked his new school, but he detested his step-brothers. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t come around to the idea of living with Aemond and Aegon, who took so much pleasure in making he and his brothers miserable. 

After the first month, Jacaerys fell in brilliantly. He performed well in school, quickly being enrolled in the advanced literature and history courses. He got on well with his peers, and made a number of friends. He joined the football team and spent his Sunday afternoons learning piano concertos. 

Living in London made him a more publicly prominent figure in his family's legacy. He knew how to play his role as heir; he carried himself perfectly — confident and charming and elegant. He didn’t particularly like being in the public eye, but there was a certain sense of satisfaction when he did something to receive positive public attention. 

King’s Landing, much like where he had grown up, was a community reserved for the upper echelon. Situated in Northwest London, and surrounded by wrought iron gates, it was regal and dignified. The house had high, vaulted ceilings, large stained glass windows, and more than enough bedrooms. It rained more, Jacaerys noticed in the first month. When it had rained in Dragonstone he would watch the droplets bounce off the sea, where it lapped at the sandy bay. Here the rain splattered unceremoniously upon the pavement. 

For as wonderful as life in London had turned out, Jacaerys found himself longing for what was left behind in Dragonstone. Laenor lived there still, and while he called often and visited as much as he could, it wasn’t the same. Jace’s childhood bedroom remained, along with all of the memories in the house he grew up in. And his friends. There was an assortment of people he only saw between late May and early September; the children of the other seasonal residents. The number had dwindled in years past, with fewer of them returning for break — favouring more interesting places, like Ibiza or Rome, as they got older. 

Far too few of his childhood friends he kept in contact with, especially after the move to London. You were the exception. 

He was grateful, on days when it stormed in London, to receive a silly text or too-long voice note. It made things feel less dull — you had a way of doing that. 

He took to reading theory around the time he turned seventeen. It’s queer theory, at the suggestion of his cousin Baela, who lent him his first Judith Butler book. He finished it that weekend. 

His aunt Laena and her two daughters lived in London, and Jace found a close comrade in Baela. She played competitive tennis and listened to riot grrrl, she was much cooler than him and he knew it. Her bedroom held two massive bookshelves, and she let him pillage her collection for De Bouvier and Didion and Gay. Hours were spent lying across the floor in Laena’s house, studying, or reading, or talking. He enjoyed Baela’s company more than any of his school friends, favouring anything with her over anything with the boys from his football team. 

His youngest sister, Visenya, turned one around the same time. Baela, staying with Jacaerys while he babysat one night, inducted him into the eldest daughter club. 

“You’re so keen on driving your siblings around, and taking care of them. Plus, aren’t you your mother’s closest confidant?” She asked. 

True, Jace supposed. He was the oldest of Rhaenyra’s children, and the most responsible of his brothers and step-siblings. His mums both worked full time, they were busy but as involved as possible. Jace just did the menial things. He made Joffrey breakfast, picked Luke up after school, and watched Visenya when necessary. He didn’t mind.

Baela argued that he should mind. 

He had been a sensitive child, more so than his brothers, but it made him incredibly emotionally adept as he aged. So many boys his age prided themselves on stoicism, but that was never something Jace felt connected to. He always felt things too deeply to bottle them up — it accounted for the occasional temper that flared up when he was upset, but also how empathetic and kind he was. 

Jacearys was set to graduate with honours in the first week of May. It was three months before when college acceptance letters began to appear in the mail. He had applied to a number of places, and been accepted everywhere. The University of the Vale was where his hopes hinged though. 

Just after Valentine's Day, it showed up. The envelope was wide and stuffed full, and sealed with a wax stamp. His acceptance letter was on the very top of the stack of papers — the thick paper heavy in his hands, as he admired the blue printed border and silver flocking. 

Rhaenrya sorted through the informational packets while Jace reread the letter. Part of him couldn’t believe it was real.

He sends you a picture of the letter, and you respond in kind with one of an identical nature. 

You hadn’t planned to go to the same university, but it certainly was a happy coincidence. 

After graduation, he was beyond excited for the reprieve that Dragonstone granted. The promise of early morning hikes, and evenings spent on the beach — the once empty house, full of life and bustling with bodies. 

You were the first thing Jacaerys thought to look for when he set his bags down in the summer home. 

It was late May, and you were guaranteed to be out of school. I’ll text after I unpack, he thought, pulling clothes and books from his suitcase. 

His room in Dragonstone had once been his childhood bedroom. The walls were a warm tone of white, and the small bed was still covered with his blue and white checkered duvet. Piano scales and pictures of his brothers and friends adorn the walls. There was a soccer trophy on the back edge of his desk, something he had won when he was eleven. It was stuffy from nine months of stagnance, but familiar all the same. 

He pushed the curtains back from the window to let sunlight filter into the dusty room, gazing down at the beach, when he spotted your figure. He was quick to rush downstairs, out the backdoor, and across the stone path that leads from the patio to the beach. He greets you with a call of your name and a tight hug, sunglasses perched atop his head and linen shirt half buttoned. 

It had been a year since he’d last seen you. You had kept in touch during the school year; Jace favoured Snapchat and FaceTime, delighted with the pleasure of seeing the mundane things you were up to. There was a nearly constant text thread, and voice memos passed back and forth. But, it all paled in comparison to physical company. 

He abandoned his housekeeping duties, keen to sit on the beach and talk. And you did so for hours, about everything and nothing. He tells you about his last year of school and listens as you do the same. When the sun dipped past the treeline, he leaned back on his elbows, watching the water crest on the sand. He felt more at ease than he had in a while, enraptured by the ease of your presence. The conversation flowed, there were no awkward lulls and no pressure to talk about something dignified. It was comforting to be so close to someone who didn’t see much of his life in London — you knew the best version of him. 

Your friendship had always felt like that, from a young age. On days that smelled of sunscreen and sea salt in his mind, you would meet in the mornings and depart past dark and then do it again the next day, never tiring of each other. Your parents knew his, so you had always been welcome in his home — invited or not. You had shared a bed during sleepovers, drunk from the same cup, and fallen asleep on the couch during movie nights countless times. Quick glances and imperceptible expressions were a language you communicated in, reading each other without words. In your presence, Jace was the most comfortable.

The summer slipped away as it always did, taking long nights and leaving memories of sand and sunshine. The days were ambled away in the water, on rocky hiking paths, or in the meadow that sat a mile away from all of the homes. 

Jace had started The Hobbit before school ended — most days he found himself sprawled out in the park or on the beach, reading. He had also taken to running with his dog, Vermax, in the mornings. He relied on the serotonin boost to start the day, and with no football to play a jog was a decent alternative. 

When the summer drew to a close, the typical melancholy that befell the return to the real world wasn’t present in Jace’s mind. He presumed it had everything to do with the fact that he would see you every day now

You have one college class together — a nine a.m. medieval literature discussion. 

Clinging to familiarity in the new environment, he glued himself to your side for the first week of classes. He memorized the way to your dorm, meeting you outside every morning to walk together to your first lessons. The meandering conversation was a good start to the day, and he silently relished in your tired eyes and quiet voice, not yet used to the early schedule. 

On Friday he all but begged you to come back to his dorm after the discussion; it was your only class that day so you had given in. You hadn’t seen his living quarters yet, and he wanted to spend time with you, worried for when your schedules would fill up and you would lose room for each other. 

The discussion had been mind-numbing. You reviewed the same syllabus as the lecture, and went over the same rules and policies as every other class. With the thirty-five minutes remaining, the teaching assistant made everyone watch an incredibly monotone video about the history of medieval England. 

Jace linked his arm into yours in the hallway after class, pulling you to the doors. The cool morning air was refreshing, waking you up more as you walked across campus. His dorm building was new and modern, seventeen floors with grey siding and big windows. It was private housing, clearly expensive. 

He had a single room with an adjoining bathroom and a small common space. The walls were typical dorm white, with laminate wood flooring. Joffrey’s school photo is hung on one wall, the frame clearly decorated by the child with glitter and string. Scattered across the other walls were photographs in thin silver frames, a large world map, a clock, and a cross-stitch of a rainbow stag beetle.

Sitting on the couch, you observed the unframed photos that lay across the coffee table, inspecting a leggy grey dog as you plucked it from the pile, “Who is this?”

Jace leaned into your side, gazing at the photo, “My mum’s dog, Syrax,” He reached over you to tap the picture, “Syrax is my dog’s mum.” 

He slipped his hand into yours as you walked with him to his second class of the day.

In the third week of school, Jace asks you to attend a mixer for a pre-law society with him. He doesn't know anyone, and doesn't want to be alone at the party. You meet at his dorm at a quarter-to-six so you can walk to the event together. 

The dress-code is emi-formal, and when he opens the door to you his hair is slicked back with water and he smells like his cologne — musk, sandalwood, and amber. 

“Are your clothes pressed?” You ask, grinning at his freshly ironed slacks and the three buttons undone on his shirt. 

He rolls his eyes, locking the door behind him as he escorts you down the hallway. The walls of the elevator in his dorm are mirrored, and you laugh at him when you catch him taking pictures of himself. He makes you take one with him, and sets it as his lock screen. 

The mixer was in the dean of law’s massive house, buzzing with young people in smart outfits. Jace abandons you about fifteen minutes in, spotting a group of poli sci majors from his social psychology class. 

From his childhood spent between galas and his mother’s business meetings, Jace was good at navigating these situations. He was charming, leveling the professors with charismatic smiles and confident posture. He was good at holding an intelligent conversation, discussing theory and strategy. 

You were on the patio, watching the stars, when he found you an hour later.

His arms brushed yours as he leaned against the railing, “Sorry for leaving you,” His voice was quiet, and he stared at your profile, watching the way the moonlight illuminated your skin. 

You wave his apology off and make him buy you coffee in recompense on the way home. 

You’re stood talking together on the quadrangle a few weeks later, a cup of hot chocolate warming your mitten-less hands, when you realise just how cold it’s gotten. It's just too cold for the thin jacket that you try to sink further into, hiding from the wind that bites at your delicate skin.

Jace watches you shiver, observing your lack of appropriate attire. 

“Are you cold?” He asks, reaching out to run his hands up and down your arms, half to warm you, half to gauge how thick your jacket is. Not very. 

You nod, “I didn’t check the weather this morning.” 

He sighs with exaggerated exasperation and slides his arms around you, careful of the paper cup you held. Of course, he’s worn the right coat, and you feel the downy material of his hood against your cheek as he rubs your back to generate some warmth. You smell the cologne on his collar and the expensive shampoo he uses; he grumbled something about taking better care of yourself. 

Then, one particularly cold Friday morning he has forgotten his coat. Dressed in a hoodie, he mirrors your excuse from the week prior, smiling sheepishly — face flushed from the chilly air, dark curls blowing around his head like a halo. You take pity on him, slipping your scarf off. You loop it around his neck, tucking the ends down into the collar of his sweater, and leave him with a fond peck on the cheek; his skin is cold. 

He's appreciative, though the scarf does little against the cold wind cutting through his sweater. Still, he doesn't give the scarf back. 

With the cold, comes midterms. You’re the first person Jace asks to study. 

Your dorm room is closer to the central part of campus, and thus a shorter walk in the bitter cold. Jace brushes snow out of his hair as you unlock your door, ushering him inside. It's small. Two twin-sized beds, one on each wall, with nary enough room for two bodies between them; a desk is crammed into the small space between your bed and the window. You let him take the desk, spreading your books and notes out across your bed.

Your dorm is old, and the room has very little ventilation. Despite the frigidity outside, the room is stuffy and almost hot with both of your bodies inside. An hour into studying Jace shrugs off his heavy, knit sweater and pushes his glasses up into his hair. 

“What are you working on?” You ask, leaning forward. You’re bored, working on the same power point you started yesterday. You want to talk to him, though he doesn’t seem keen on the idea

He doesn’t look up from typing as he speaks, “Analysing The Art of War.” 

You shut your laptop, bent on distracting him, “The book?” 

He nods but doesn’t give a verbal response. 

“Who's that by?” You ask, fighting to suppress a grin

This time he does look up, glaring at you over his glasses, “Sun Tzu.” 

His tone is short, but it's amusing to annoy him so you grin, suppressing a giggle, “Sounds very interesting.” 

“What do you want?” He asks after a beat, still holding your gaze. 

You shrug, “Nothing. I’m bored,” 

The next time you study is even less productive, school work discarded on his floor in a matter of minutes. 

“We can’t be trusted to work together,” He tells you, watching as you calculate his astrological chart, geometry homework forgotten. 

You attend your first college party together in November. When you arrive at his dorm, he’s dressed much more casually than normal. 

You reach out to tug at the thin silver chain peeking out from his shirt collar, “This is fun,” You tease, giggling, “Aiming to impress tonight?”

He rolls his eyes in mock-offence, turning you around by the shoulders to shove you out of the doorframe. 

The lights in the house are dim, and they strobe slowly through different colours. It’s too dark and too bright all at once. The music is almost unbearably loud and people are packed in like sardines, it’s all incredibly overstimulating. 

When he senses your unease, Jace takes your hand, pulling you tight against your side to lead you through the throng of bodies. He’s looking for someone, but you’re unsure who, and he canvases the whole space before giving up on finding them.

The backyard of the house is quieter, but the ground still vibrates from the bass of the music. People are scattered about, smoking cigarettes and sipping from bottles of cheap beer. 

You both learn what Jell-O shots are, and make out in the bathroom back at his dorm. It’s not the first time you’d kissed each other, trying it a few times in your adolescence just to see what it was like. But this is different, tipsy and sloppy, as you giggle into his mouth. 

It's forgotten in the morning, when you wake up in his bed still dressed in your going-out clothes, head pounding.

But then it happens again, the week before finals.

You had stayed at the library far too late studying, leaving the pair of you to walk back to his dorm in the dark. It's positively frigid, cold December air whipping snow into your face. 

There are still snowflakes in your hair as you shed the thick coat you’re wearing, pulling off your gloves and hat. 

There's a bottle of wine in Jace’s freezer, left by Aegon the weekend before. It's expensive and rich and red, and Aegon would likely skin you if he found out you were drinking it — but, that's part of the fun. There's a baking show on the small television, and you’re curled into Jace’s side to steal some of the warmth from his body.

When the program lulls he brings his hand to your hair, combing through the tangled strands. You pay it little mind, leaning into his touch as you watch a contestant on-screen whip macaron batter. His fingers slide down to your jaw, turning your head so your eyes meet his. He’s studying your face, cheeks flushed from the wine or the cold. 

The attention is odd, and you giggle nervously under his gaze. His hands come to cradle your jaw as he leans towards you, nose brushing yours. The air is charged with an unusual tension, his mouth a breath away from yours. 

When he kisses you, he’s slow and gentle, his whole body angled into yours. Everything feels warm, a welcome contrast to the weather outside, and you chalk it up to the glasses of wine coursing through your bloodstream. 

It's pleasant, different from times past; this certainly doesn’t feel like an innocent, experimental kiss. It's heated, tinged with passion. He uses the placement of his hand to ease your jaw open, tongue sliding slowly into your mouth. 

There's a vibe, something you hadn’t felt before with him. It's communicated through the gentle touch of his hands, and how his breath hitches when you kiss him back with the same sort of force. 

The moment is broken by the announcement of a winner on the television. His hands slide down, resting on your shoulders, pulling your frame into his. 

You don’t talk about it afterwards. 

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Y'all want to see me go insane? No?

Okay so, Bumblebee and Megatron. Specifically TFP/Aligned Continuity Bumblebee and Megatron. The ones that kill each other. Those ones.

I have gone Insane thinking about them.

TFP ends with the two of them killing each other. They were inside each other's heads at one point. Megatron ripped out Bumblebee's voice box. Bumblebee tore the Spark extractor directly from Megatron's fingers. Let me reiterate the first point, They have both been killed and resurrected. They were both Dead but now they're not. They were a corpse but then they got better.

That's not all. In ALC canon, they have been dead more than once!! Both of them!! In Fall of Cybertron the game, Megatron gets crushed by Metroplex then resurrected with some dark energon and Bumblebee gets SHOT IN THE CHEST BY MEGATRON. the one in tfp wasn't the first time in canon, no no no, the exact same scenario happens on more than one occasion- Go read the wiki, I am not kidding you. War for & Fall of Cybertron are a part of the same universe as TFP, fact check me I dare you. Yes it is convoluted, but they're all in the same universe.

I... am loosing it... slowly... painfully...

I can't stop thinking about them. Out of every Universe with a Bumblebee and a Megatron, TFP/ALC is the only one where the beef they have is truly personal. Most TF Universes, Megatron and Bumblebee's relationship is hostile but not personally driven. If they had to, they could exist in the same room without any obvious issues. TFP/ALC, on the other hand, I think they hate each other on a personal level. I think if they had to exist in the same room, they would either spend the entire time arguing like 6-year-olds or brutally murder each other in a violent blood bath. And everything in between. I do not think they could be normal with each other to save their lives. You guys think TFO Bumblebee and Megatron's tragically fractured friendship is good (you're right, btw, very good) May I introduce: TFP Bumblebee and Megatron's Deeply Personal Beef!! It's objectively funnier! Bc they kill each other!

I wrote this line down a few months ago, I feel it accurately summarizes what I'm trying to say:

Optimus is living in Megatron’s mind rent free but Bumblebee keeps breaking in and stealing the radiator.

Quick Context Section because things written below needs some extra info to make at least a little sense.

I know I listed all the things these two have done to each other, but Bumblebee barely did anything bad to ol' Megsy. From what i've listed Bumblebee just annoys Megatron - then he kills him. And I'm saying they've both done horrible things to each other. And I am right, they have committed atrocities, but Bumblebee's are just never brought up in the show, at least explicitly.

So, we know that Bumblebee is a Scout in TFP/ALC canon and he is described as a pretty good one at that. Quote from the wiki, "...made [Bumblebee] an excellent scout and messenger...".

So what makes a good Scout. Well, according to the US Army, Scouts gather information about the enemy and the battlefield for the infantry. They are the "eyes and ears" of an army. Quote, "An Army Cavalry Scout may engage the enemy in the field, track and report enemy activity, as well as direct the employment of weapon systems." They are sometimes described as “the first line of defense for Army units” and "...are considered “jacks of all trades” for their ability to perform multiple combat roles in the Infantry Division." Link if you want to read more, very good resource for fics.

With all this context, since Bumblebee was an Excellent Scout, we can assume he has been Fucking over the Decepticon cause for YEARS. Megatron probably knew about Bumblebee before he actually met him. He probably knew Bumblebee as the Autobot Scout that had crippled his organization over and over again. Oh, He probably HATED Bumblebee, even if he didn't know who he was or what he looked like.

Alright, I've given context, back to the spiral.

Imagine their relationship/interactions in TFP/ALC from either of their perspectives.

Megatron

On Megatron's side, this Autobot scout has been fucking up your operations for years. We're talking hundreds of outposts, supply lines, and missions, all gone because of this one fucking scout. He even fucks up your All spark retrieval mission, so you rip his throat to shreds, leaving him to die there. You don't really think about the scout after that, you're more focused on Optimus. But then, a few weeks later, you get reports that that fucking yellow autobot scout is somehow alive and fucking up your stuff! He survived getting his throat shredded. Apparently, that's a non-fatal injury nowadays. Back in your day, getting your throat torn up killed you, and you liked it!

The war goes on, Cybertron is dead and your organization is packing its bags and relocating. Right before you leave, you attack the Autobots base one last time. Maybe you can strand them on Cybertron, leaving them to starve on this dead planet. During the fight, you just get fucking BODIED by Metroplex, killing you. You are dead. Not long after this, we're talking like a week max, Soundwave manages to resurrect you with this shit called dark energon. Cool stuff, you'll keep it in mind for later. You intercept the autobots as they are leaving cybertron, hoping to wipe them off the map before you leave. Now you and Optimus, your eternal opponent, are fighting. You fire your cannon at Optimus, a killing blow, but then that same yellow autobot scout from earlier jumps in the way, saving Optimus and killing him instead. Then both yours and the autobot's ships get sucked into a space bridge, prematurely ending your fight with Optimus. This of course pisses you off, but now you've finally gotten rid of that fucking scout for good. Finally, thought he would never leave.

You send the Decepticons to this random planet that has a ton of energon on it, both stashed and raw, and you go off to find out more about this Dark Energon stuff. Time passes, You've found the mother load of Dark Energon and you return to the Decepticons. This Dark Energon shit is kinda wild, apparently it's Unicron's Blood. You decide putting it in your body is a great idea, and it is because now you're super powerful. Now you're gonna throw a whole bunch of Dark Energon at Cybertron and resurrect all the dead cybertronians to fight for you. So you get the space bridge open, then you see that the Autobots are on the space bridge. Optimus is there. Rematch time :). As the Autobots retreat, you see the Autobot scout, the same bright fucking yellow Autobot scout you killed back on Cybertron (you saw his dead body, kinda hard to miss that) is somehow ALIVE. AGAIN. What is it going to take- that does not matter right now, your undead army is almost here- fucking space bridge blew up, COME ON!!

Now, you're in a coma. You don't know this till one day, you're fantasizing about killing Autobots when suddenly that fucking Yellow Scout shows up. Inside your brain. While you're in a coma. What. The fuck. He's looking for the antidote for some virus you made years ago. Apparently, Optimus caught it (ha, cringe). You taunt him with it a bit but then he just fucking leaves, without warning, so you follow him into his brain. Wasn't the best plan (you just left your body to starscreams devices) but you're rolling with it. You figure out how to take over the scouts body who's fucking up who's shit now fucker!, find some dark energon and resurrect it. The yellow scout tries to stop you the whole way, of course he does, but you are successful, and now you are fully restored. Magnificent. The war goes on, the scout keeps fucking existing but hasn't directly fucked something up. Yet. You see him driving around right before Unicron shows up, and you take a nice potshot at him for fun. He deserves it. He gives you a particularly nasty look when you're in the Autobot base later. Apparently, you hurt his little human friend when you shot him. Even fucking better. One day your team finds the Spark Extractor, a wicked powerful device that could fuck the autobots up nice and good. You are personally bringing it back to base when out of fucking nowhere the YELLOW SCOUT JUST FUCKING YOINKS IT! Right from your hand! That Bitch!

Then later, you figure out how to resurrect Cybertron. Fucking sweet. But first, you decide you want to get rid of earth by cyberforming it. Earth, which is also Unicron. You forgot about that part but that's not important. You have your reasons for wanting to fuck earth up first and resurrect your home planet second, and you are sticking to them. And the Autobots come to stop you, as they do. You're fighting Optimus and the two of you get knocked down onto the Omega Lock. You keep fighting. Suddenly that Yellow fucking Scout is jumping down to give Optimus the Star Saber. And you Can Not let that happen. You're not letting this fucking scout fuck up your shit anymore. So as he's jumping, you fire your cannon directly at him. Several shots hit him directly in the chest. He goes down, falling into the Omega Lock with the Star Saber. He is finally fucking dead, you watched the light fade from his spark (you shot his chest open). The yellow fucking thorn in your side is finally dead. For good. You fight Optimus some more, you get the upper hand, you have Optimus at your mercy and you are about to end your eternal battle once and for all. Suddenly, random fucking voice behind you calls your name. You turn around. Bam, Star Saber in your chest. All the way through. You fall to your knees and grab the sword. You are dying. You look up to see the one who finally bested you, and see the fUCKING YELLOW SCOUT YOU JUST KILLED! HIS CHEST IS STILL A GAPING WOUND oh look it closed up. WHAT THE FUCK!?? THREE TIMES YOU ATTEMPTED TO KILL THIS BITCH, TWO OF WHICH ACTUALLY DID KILL HIM, BUT HE GOT BETTER EVERY TIME??? Your spark fades out, the dark energon in your body can't save you this time. You are dead.

Suddenly you're alive. Unicron has stolen your body and is torturing you inside your own head. It's horrible. When Unicron is finally defeated and you're free from him, you no longer wish to fight for control of cybertron. Having been put through the torments of Unicron, you are broken, and no longer wish to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is lost on you. You fuck off to go die in a hole somewhere. The end.

Bumblebee

On Bumblebee's side, you have felt the effects of Megatron's and Optimus's war your whole life. Once you're big enough to shoot a gun you join the Autobot cause as a scout. You run many missions for the Autobots; gathering intel on Decepticon troops, supply lines, bases, fucking with anything mentioned previous, all that good stuff. You're pretty good at this, in fact, you're one of the best scouts the Autobots have. So when Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, manages to snatch you up and make you his personal scout, you're not surprised. Of course, Optimus wants to have the best of the best in Fucking With His Ex on his team. Then the mission to get the All Spark off of Cybertron rolls around, and you're right on the front lines. You had been running around doing something, can't really remember what, when you get caught by the Decepticons. Megatron is personally interrogating you. What did you do to deserve this honour? You don't spill anything to them; of fucking course you don't, what do you take you for, a snitch? Snitches get stitches, as the saying goes. Megatron does rip your throat to shreds though. That's bullshit, you're kinda dying right now but that's still bullshit. Luckily, you are saved by a medic, though you can't speak anymore, voice box got totalled and no one has the resources to rebuild it. You can communicate, though it is limited. That sucks, you liked your OG voice a lot, actually. You're back on the field pretty quick after that, can't sit still to save your life, and enacting your sweet sweet revenge on ol' Megsy. Hopefully this is the worst thing that will happen to you.

Eventually, Cybertron dies and the Autobots are getting out of dodge. The Decepticons try a couple times to stop you. You heard that Megatron died at some point, but he showed up in person a bit later, so it was probably just wishful thinking. During the last fight as everyone was leaving on their ships, you were making your way across the Autobot ship to repair a fuse for Ratchet in the engine room when you see Megatron about to off Optimus with his cannon. You react on instinct and jump in front of your leader, taking the shot meant to kill him. You're dying and it's Megatron's fault, again. Very rude of him to do something like this a second time. The last thing you're aware of is Optimus and Megatron starting to fight again before you die completely.

Suddenly you're alive. By some fucking miracle, you came back from the dead. No one knows how, maybe it was the medics, maybe it was Primus, maybe it was spite, but you somehow came back to life. Suck it, Troni-boy! The score's 2-0, can't kill you! You learn that the ship got sucked through the space bridge and now the autobots need to find a new home base. They find this random planet that should have some energon stashes on it and the scans pick up some raw energon as well. You are sent first to scout it out. You make contact with the closest governing body, get a nice agreement made, and team prime sets down on this planet called earth.

Life goes on, the decepticons show up at some point, though no one's seen hide nor hair of Megatron hope he he died in some ditch somewhere. Then Megatron shows back up fucking COME ON one day with some wild shit called dark energon and things get fucking weird. He gets blown up (ha, cringe) and you move on. Later you find out he's not dead (aGaIN) and now you have to go inside his brain to find the cure to the cybonic plague. Fucking yay. Yes, you willingly volunteered to do this, but you can still complain; it's Megatron, he ripped out your voice box, he killed you that one time, he smells like beans. So you get in, and you find Megatron's conscious, you talk to him, he taunts you with the cure, Ratchet takes a screen shot, and you get out of there. Mission done and duste- Megatron's inside your head now. Fuck. He forcefully takes over your body, which is.. fucked up, to put it mildly, and he manages to get his own body up and running. Fucking cool, good for him, you're still dealing with having your body stolen from you and moved against your will. What did you do to make the universe hate you so much? Like honestly, you must have been a real bitch in your past life for all this to happen to you. Later on, for no reason, he shots you as you're driving with Raf. This seriously hurts Raf, the Dark Energon messing with his body... This. BITCH! Megatron just keeps fucking with your life. At this point, it's fucking personal! One day, the Decepticons manage to get their hands on the Spark Extractor, which is very bad news for the Autobots. As Megatron is taking it back to their base, you manage to race after him and yoink it from his fingers. You are very proud of this stunt, and Megatron's face was priceless. Felt pretty good about that one, yes you did. Rub it in the bitch's face, why don't you. You deserve it.

The Decepticons figured out how to resurrect Cybertron. They're going to cyberform Earth first, for some reason. Even though Earth is Unicron- that's not important. What's important is that the Decepticons need to be stopped. So everyone's fighting, Optimus and Megatron have fallen down onto the Omega Lock and Optimus dropped his sword up on the main deck. You run and grab the Star Saber and start making your way down to Optimus. As you jump, Megatron fires his cannon directly at you. You take three fatal shots to the chest. You are dying. You fall down into the Omega Lock, struck with a distinct feeling of deja-vu. Your spark fades out, you are dead. Suddenly you're alive again. You wake up in the blue goo of the Omega Lock. You don't know what's happening, but you grab the Star Saber and get to the surface. You see Megatron about to kill Optimus. You move on instinct, making your way across the goo, jumping up onto the platform with the Star Saber. You call Megatron's name, distracting him just long enough for you to plunge the Star Saber into his spark. The world stops. You feel the enormous gaping hole in your chest close up. You tell Megatron he'll never hurt anyone like he hurt you again. He slides off the Star Saber and falls into Earth's atmosphere, dead. Megatron is finally fucking gone. You fucking did it. Also, your voice got fixed by the magic goo. Not a bad day, all things considered.

A while later, Megatron just randomly shows up again, though he's possessed by Unicron. Bitch, who cares who you are, you're supposed to be dead! You killed him! Why can't the universe let you have one fucking thing?! One thing!! You and your team take care of Unicron and Megatron, now back in control you'd prefer if he left with Unicron, says that after having been put through the torments of Unicron, he is broken, and no longer wishes to be an oppressor. The irony of this scenario is probably not lost on you, though we can't see your reaction. He fucks off and no one talks about any of this ever again. You get a second show, so not The End got you.

The oppressor lines are (mostly) copied from the wiki, because I couldn't have said it better myself.

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Have Y'all actually read Bumblebee at Tyger Pax? Because I just did, and the actual malice I felt from Bumblebee was a wild experience no fic prepared me for. Here's a few quotes just to set the tone.

“You going to go solo with Megatron and whoever else is with him?” “I sure am,” Bumblebee said.

“Sorry to ruin your plans there, Megatron,” he said. “Barricade couldn’t make it. He’s out on the side of the road to Tyger Pax. He said something about an ambush, but I couldn’t make all of it out because I was too busy beating him into the ground.”

“You?” Megatron said. “This barely formed mecha, animated by the dregs of the Well? You kept the AllSpark out of my reach?” “Yeah,” Bumblebee said. “Me.”

There were so many more moments, Bumblebee is a fucking menace every second he's in this thing. Megatron's anger was very justified. His actions? Eh, not so much, but his anger? Absolutely. I don't know if I would be able to hold myself back in Megatron's shoes. Please go read it; it is actually buck fucking wild.

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Do you know what's even crazier? I don't know if the writers intended to do this but Bumblebee and Megatron are kinda similar, character wise. Let me lay it out for you.

Bumblebee:

Has a pretty hot temper - Gets angry or frustrated very quickly (Shown in S1E23, S2E30, S2E31, S3E10)

Is a very skilled fighter - (Various episodes, Best example S3E5)

Is impulsive/acts before thinking - (Various episodes, best example S2E5)

Is a good strategist and negotiator (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Is a sassy little bitch - (Shown in Predacons Rising)

Will do anything for the ones he cares about (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S1E24)

Likes racing/driving (Shown in S2E30)

Megatron:

Has a very hot temper - Gets angry very very quickly (Various episodes, Best example S1E14)

Is a very skilled fighter - was Champion of the Gladiatorial Ring (Various examples, Best Example S1E26)

is impulsive/acts before thinking (Various episodes, Best Example S1E2)

is a good strategist and negotiator - Was a politician and career gladiator (Backstory S1E26)

Is a dramatic sassy bitch (Shown in every one of his interactions with Starscream or Optimus)

Will do anything to achieve his goals (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

Has no respect for the dead (Shown in various episodes, Best Example S2E21)

If you're wondering why the lists are so sparse, it's because the writers didn't give them any character development the entire show. Yes I have opinions about this but we won't get into that here, this post is long enough already.

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I'm gonna tell you thing's I've noticed during my aggressive thinking about these two.

Bumblebee's not experienced enough to become a warrior yet (S1E6), but he's also waiting to be promoted to do it on Cybertron (S3E5). Now how in tarnation do you go from Absolutely Not Ready to be Promoted to 100% Ready but Waiting in like a year or two max.

I've already pointed this out in this post, but in Predacons Rising, Unicron did to Megatron what Megatron did to Bumblebee in Out of His Head. And I don't know if anyone else actually caught this turning of the tables. Bc it's been driving me crazy since I first watched it.

God, these two had such stunted characters. Megatron could have been so interesting with his backstory, but they just made him secretly evil the whole time. They could have made him nuanced and complex and explored how his past shaped him today, but no. All we get is evil guy doing evil things bc evil. And Bumblebee had the opportunity to be so compelling with his trauma and experiences but he was just shoved in the background and ignored 70% of the time. In Predacons Rising Bumblebee looked Unicron in the eyes before (supposedly) falling into a pool of molten metal. He literally did the "I Will Face God and Walk Backwards Into Hell." This super compelling character trait is barely communicated in TFP.

Bumblebee killed Skyquake and Megatron killed Dreadwing. Skyquake and Dreadwing are twins. This probably isn't anything but I thought I would point it out.

Megatron's gun looks stupid. I don't have anything else to say. Look, I couldn't fit this anywhere else, and I had to say it somewhere. It's the size of his arm and it's just stuck on top it looks so fucking stupid-

God, I wanted Bumblebee to experience consequences. For killing Skyquake specifically, why did Dreadwing declare revenge on Autobots as a whole? He knew it was Bee, why not specifically try and get revenge on him. The writers leaned heavily on Starscream killing Cliffjumper; why didn't they do it for Bumblebee and Skyquake? I was fucking blue-balled, I swear.

Megatron's about face at the end of Predacon's Rising was a... choice for his character. He was exactly the same as he was in TFP at the start of the movie but after some torture he's decided to change his ways. I would have loved to actually have him reflect on his actions, but no. About face or bust, apparently.

(This just turned into me bitching about them...)

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They look similar too. I only noticed this because A: I know Bumblebee's design really well, I've spent too much time staring at it bc it pisses me off for reasons I won't get into here you better fucking BELIEVE I have my reasons and B: My siblings got me a TFP Megatron toy and I was staring at it for some reason. Fucking look at this

look at this shitty gif I made (did y'all know you can make gifs with the desktop version of Powerpoint???) Megatron is orange and Bumblebee is blue. Their body shapes are scarily similar, and yes the poses are helping a bit, but they still look waaaaayy to similar for me to say this was an accident. And they have the purple and yellow contrasting colours thing happening. Look at their feet, both of them have a little spike pointing up around their ankles. Both their guns sit on top of their hands instead of replacing them. Their chests, their waists, their hips, their legs, why are they the same fucking shape?? I can't tell if I'm making some of this up, because I just keep seeing shit! I feel like a fucking conspiracy theorist rn.

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I just keep thinking about these two in TFP and all the issues with them in the story, and it feels like I’ve found the fractured skeleton of some long-dead story in the foundations of the show. Not the whole skeleton, just a couple spine fragments, maybe a part of a rib bone, maybe a part of the leg, oh and also the

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This means legitimately nothing but in one of the Ask Megatron things the Whatever Network did, when asked "Which Autobot do you like best?" Megatron says "My favourite Autobot is Bumblebee. We drink tea in my garden every tch- What kind of question is that, do you even watch the show??" Am I fine? Fucking probably but it doesn't feel like it.

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A Collection of Posts That Have Done Nothing But Make Me Worse.

Megatron in RID2015

TFP Bumblebee's Character Issues

Partial Shit post but speaking truth in the first two points

This is how I want them to talk to each other

The Yoinking Post

Pick Youre Fighter

General Post but god please

Another General post am I ok

*Writhing on the floor* General post

hmmmm Megatron about-face reasoning good

he fuckin grabs him then throws him so hard + me w/ss

See? See? I'm not the only one who wants them to hate each other

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EDIT: I FOUND MORE STUFF I HAVE MORE PROOF https://youtu.be/t2iv4S9oYl8?si=2bcb-ssfle87RWVL

That shove that shove so much malice he wanted to do that soooo bad

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My brain is consumed with random thoughts of these two. Would you like to hear them?

idfkam

They are the same kind of person. That's partially why they hate each other so much. That and the atrocities.

I just want to handcuff them together and see what happens.

I was scrolling through ao3 and there's so many fics ab Bumblebee being super afraid of Megatron and Megatron being abusive. And that? That is boring, and therefore, cringe. Put them on equal ground. No more power imbalance, they killed each other, they get to stand as equals now. Let Bumblebee call Megatron a slur, it would be funny.

If they were human, their names would be Ben (Benjamin) and Mark (Markus). Just the vibes. Also, both of them are gay.

For some fuck all reason, I see these fuckers with cowboy aesthetics. Like in RID15, Bee likes cowboys, so obviously human him would wear cowboy hats+boots, jeans, and a huge fuck-off belt buckle, but I just can't stop imagining Megatron in jeans, cowboy boots, and a bolo tie. He's already got boot cut legs, just complete the look.

So we know Bumblebee was born after the war started, or at least around that time. What if, he was also born into the gladiatorial pits, just like Megatron. But the Pits as an organization collapsed a bit after he was born, so he never actually experienced them. He does have a very similar build to Megatron, as we've established. Might be a fun parallel. Just an interesting idea, thought I'd share it. A headcanon to pull from this is Megatron had door wings when he was small, but they got removed while he was in the pits. Second headcanon: Bumblebee is supposed to be larger but lack of energon when he was growing stunted his height.

I can't get a scene where they physically fight out of my head. Not an actual to-the-death fight, just slapstick nonsense. Or a cage match, I would take a cage match.

Bumblebee doesn't hold any grudges against anyone, no matter how much they've done. He's the kindest mech Cybertron has ever had, he can make friends with anyone. He has one exception though: Megatron. Because he deserves a little treat.

my god... they are mirror reflections of each other. They easily could have turned out like the other if circumstances were different. oh my goooood, SG Bee acts like young Megatron, and SG Meg acts like old Bumblebee, I'm having an aneurysm...

They're like feral cats in a fight.

"if they hate each other so much why don't they just kill each other again?" Well you see, they can't. Not because laws or social expectations mean anything to them, no, they are each other's enrichment. Think about it, two mother fuckers who grew up fighting for their lives every single day; do you think civilian/incarcerated life is enough for their Survival-coded brains? No, they need some additional stimulation so they don't go insane. Megatron is a shell of his former self, just hardcore depressed day in day out. However when he's around Bumblebee that spark for life comes back, just because he hates Bumblebee that much. Bumblebee is teetering on the edge of a mental breakdown every day, his brain has no idea how to cope with peace. But when he sees Megatron, he has a release for all this pent-up energy that won't go away because he hates Megatron that much. So they can't kill each other, if they did they would fall apart within the month.

I think comparing TFP/ALC Bee and Meg to the other TF Universes is very thought-provoking. Bc in every other universe (to my knowledge), it was always either Optimus or some Prime-adjacent guy who did Megatron in, but never a Bumblebee (or the universe's equivalent). This is the only universe where this set of events happens. And I find that so fascinating. What would the other universes' Megatron think of how this one was defeated? What would the Bumblebees think? Would the Megatrons regard TFP/ALC Megatron in a negative light or a positive one? Would the Megatrons treat TFP/ALC Bumblebee any different than their Bees or would they be more cautious around him. Would the Bumblebees be excited for their counterpart or feel pity for all he had to go through? Oh I just want to have a TF/TF Crossover SO BAD but there's no easy way to find them please tell me if yall know about any TF/TF crossover stuff I am desperate I want to compare universes like pretty rocks.

Imagine with me, a room. It's a big room. In this room are every Megatron and every Bumblebee (+ any others you want). Most are just standing or sitting around, quietly observing something or ignoring that same thing. The room is not quiet, the air is filled with the sounds of an angry screaming match. Three Bumblebees and three Megatrons are engaged in a very heated argument. If you're confused about which ones this would be, read the goddamn post again. Or go read their wiki pages.

I know I just spent the last couple hundred words raving about how good it would be if they hated each other, but what if they got along. Hear me out, they just click with each other. The atrocities? Water under the bridge, bestie, let's go get lunch. They're such good friends it scares everyone else. Everyone knows what happened between them, and seeing them act like nothing happened is the freakiest thing they have ever experienced.

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What if Megatron and Bumblebee were related. I'm not talking about being brothers or being father and son, no no no no NO. I want them to be Cousins. Their parents were siblings, one had a kid (Bee) much MUCH later in life and the other had one (Meg) at the normal time. Human or Bot, does not matter, I just need them to be cousins.

They don't figure this out till after the war has ended. After they've killed each other. This is the worst news of their lives. How would you feel if the person you hate most in the world shared your genetics. And to add insult to injury, they have to play nice with each other. Megatron has to help get the Decepticons in line and Bumblebee is the new face of the Autobot cause thank you optimus, so they have to be polite and cordial to each other so a second war doesn't break out. Yes they hate it. Yes it's extremely funny. They're forced to be in fucking council meetings and work on reintegration policies together, they hate every fucking second of them. And it was good for PR to reveal their familial connection, so now they have to act like they at least tolerate each other for the news outlets, going on family outings and shit. Oh, they hate it. Behind closed doors, they are so fucking annoying, they argue like fucking children. It's the "I'm not even touching you" kind of arguments, that's how bad it is. They're both full grown adults, they're fucking war veterans, and they argue over stolen pens.

I can't get this scene out of my head: Post War. Bumblebee gets a shirt; human or bot, it does not matter, logistics of bot-sized clothing be damned, that says "The Thirteenth Prime is My Ex Cousin In Law." He wears it specifically in meetings when Megatron is present. He doesn't call attention to himself, just goes about his day as normal with this shirt on. Here is a scene from one of the Cybertron's Reconstruction meetings. Open in stereotypical meeting room. Everyone files into the room and takes a seat. Bumblebee is one of the last into the room, everyone notices his shirt. No one says anything and Bumblebee sits down. The meeting begins. Optimus is very pointedly not looking at Bumblebee, only looking at him when he speaks - and even then, he's only looking at his eyes. Ratchet can't stop giggling. Every time he composes himself even a little, he takes one look at Bumblebee and loses it all over again. Megatron is contemplating making a run for it. Everyone keeps glancing between him and Bumblebee's shirt, and he hates it. He's slowly been sliding down in his seat the entire meeting, and soon he'll end up on the floor. Yes, Bumblebee is proud of this, why wouldn't he be?

They're Both the Gay Cousin

AUS

Two Words. Body. Swap. I have so many different Iterations of this story in my head, but two things remain the same: Bumblebee and Megatron swap bodies after Sick Mind, and they're both PISSED about it. Megatron gets the bare minimum in upgrades, so Bumblebee is dealing with his stupid, barely optimized body + dark energon. Bumblebee deals with all his issues silently, so Megatron is dealing with years of unaddressed chronic pains + a fucked up voice box. If they're stuck somewhere together, they force the other to follow the routines they take with their OG body. Neither of them knows how to drive the other's alt-mode. No one on either team really notices any changes bc they're so good at acting (they know each other so well and they're so similar no one can tell the difference-) In the end, they come to an understanding about the other they never had before, but they still vehemently hate each other. This has gone through so many iterations, a single episode length version, a whole season length version, the rest of the goddamn show length version, I can't stop thinking about them.

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*opens my trench coat* Hey kid, you want some Dark Energon Bumblebee? The entire thing is "Bumblebee gets infected by dark energon and Megatron gets kinda parasocial about it." Obviously, there's nuance and shit, but that's the gist of it. So in Out of His Head, Megatron gets a second piece of Dark Energon fucking somehow, fuck if I know how yet, and wants to use both to resurrect his body. Bumblebee manages to get control of his own body back just before Meg can get the second shard in and puts the shard in his own body. Bla bla bla angst ensues, but, Silver Lining: Bee can now tangle with Megatron one on one. Free emotional release therapy ;). And because Megatron is fucking weird and thinks fighting is a normal way of socializing, he gets attached to Bumblebee. (Bee not on battlefield) Where's my new fighting buddy :-:? He's so fucking weird. They still hate each other btw, Megatron just expresses his emotions weird bc he's lonely. Obviously, there's more story, but I'm working on turning this one into an actual written work, and I'm still working out the plot points. It's very slow, I'm still in the (very)rough draft stages, but maybe when it's done, I'll post it (bc I want something I make to be 100% before I post it.)

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Ok, but imagine if either of them got stuck in the other one's head at the end of Out of His Mind. And now they're stuck together forever. I think I read a post ab if Megatron had been stuck in Bumblebee's head during tfp (i can't find it someone give it to me). The whole bit is the two of them are just immensely annoying when they're stuck. Just constantly pissing the other off, bc it's all they can do.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, I'm pretty sure the only way these two chucklefucks would be normal with each other is if they met outside of the war, when both of them were younger. Just imagine it, there's no war, so no one is dead or insane, and Bumblebee and Megatron meet somehow. You could do the cousins thing and have some Cybertronian CPS Workers show up like "hey this kid's parents just died and you're this kid's last living relative, would you be able to care for him?" and then shenanigans ensue. Or you could have Optimus meet Bee first and then introduce Bee to Meg somehow, and then the two just become friends that way. The only constant I have is they are each other's biggest enablers and biggest haters(affectionate). They're like siblings, the chaos that would ensue. Bumblebee somehow convinces Megatron to get his silver colour scheme changed to bright fucking purple. Megatron teaches Bumblebee how to fight and win every single time. Megatron picks up Bumblebee's Young Person slang and uses it constantly (he is twice Bee's age). Bumblebee learns how to negotiate like a fucking senator because of Megatron. Can you see it? My visions?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

RID15. Bumblebee & Company find Megatron just hiding out on earth one day, and they are forced to interact. That's it. That's the whole bit. No fighting, just "Oh, great, this bitch is here. I'm not drunk enough for this shit." Wouldn't that be great?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Megatron's consciousness and spark get transferred into a Mini-Con body. His original body was heavily altered by Unicron during the resurrection and is slowly rejecting all the modifications. Bumblebee volunteers to be his guardian/parole officer. Why? Well, no one else wants to watch him, and the two have lots of blackmail history (they've been inside each other's heads. they know things) with each other, Bee'll keep him in line. Everything's about the same with RID15, but mini Meggy is here to make snide comments about everything. He's like an angry cat.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Slightly dumb, but take post-RID15 or post-TFP Bee and throw him back into pre-show MegOP drama. It would be funny. Bee, who knows EXACTLY how all this will play out, has decided chaos is the only option and becomes Meg's and OP's mentor/uncle/friend/thing. He is going to prevent the war if it fucking kills him, and the easiest way to do that is to babysit Megatron. Bumblebee is a jaded gay bitch about the whole thing and priority #2 is enjoying himself, so he says fuck off to decent manners and teaches Megatron every slur he knows. Someone has to show him the ways of "healthy" emotional release and it's gonna be Bee (no one's self esteme is safe, nor is their property.) Somehow, his chaos meddling prevents the war from ensuing (things still fall apart, but the divorce proceedings are uneventful and bloodless)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Take the basic Babee and Dadimus storyline, but substitute in ol' Megsy. And keep it fun. Megatron and Starscream find a sparkling on some random excursion they're on for reasons. The first thing the sparkling does is attack Starscream, who had scared him when he grabbed him. Megatron finds this hilarious and takes the sparkling back to their base. He admires the little bot's hutzpah. He planned to hand the sparkling off to someone, but the little bot wouldn't let go of his arm (Babee didn't want to leave the big bot who saved him from the screechy bot). The sparkling would start furiously fighting anyone else who tried to take care of him, hurting his small frame in the process. Megatron (who's starting to get attached to this small violent menace) is worried for the sparkling's health and agrees to help care for him. As the days go by, Megatron begins to see a bit of himself in the little bot: his stubborn convictions, his violent tendencies, his sass and dramatics. It's kinda starting to grow on him. You know what? He'll keep him around, just for fun. So Bumblebee grows up under Megatron's wing. It's a hilarious dichotomy. The Great and Mighty Megatron, making silly faces at a sparkling to make him giggle. Megatron, the champion of the gladiatorial pits, giving a little yellow bot airplane rides for fun. Megatron giving orders to his troops with a kid on his shoulders. Megatron interrupting an interrogation to praise Bumblebee's drawing. It's hilarious, it's a crime lord and a baby. And when Bumblebee grows up, he's appointed as Megatron's Second in Command/Heir. Megatron taught him everything he knows about leading, he's the perfect choice. He is the pride and joy of (Megatron's spark) the Decepticon cause. (yes Bee is evil now, sshhhhh it's fine)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Does anyone have any age swap stuff, like in general? I can't find anything substantial (there was like one fic?), and I want to see some.

Okay, this has gone two ways in my head. One: Bumblebee is in the Gladiatorial Pits and takes care of small Megatron. Two: Bumblebee is an Instrument of Unicron and Megatron is Unicron's unwilling new host. Here's the run down for both.

One: Bumblebee is the best gladiator in the arena. Megatron is a random fucking sparkling that gets thrown in. Bumblebee immediately goes mama bear mode and protects Megatron from just about everything he can. One day there's an opportunity for Meggy to escape and Bee starts fighing everyone to cover for him. Meggy then gets to meet up with Orion + extras and they get to work to get rid of the gladitorial pits. Meggy doesn't know if Bee's still alive and he's super worried he died without getting to say goodbye. V sad, pain and suffering, angst central with a nice reunion at the end. Idk I was feeling a certain way when I made this one up.

Two: Megatron gets kidnapped by the cult of Unicron and they want to make him Unicron's new vessel. He of course does not want this and fights back. Then Bumblebee shows up to restrain him, bc he's the strongest guy they got. Bla bla bla, monologuing, cosmic horror stuff, I can't word right now. But Bee is sympathetic to Meggy's plight, bc he didn't choose this life either. He was born into it and only knows Unicron. So, in an act of rebelion, Bee runs away with Megatron. Meggy doesn't trust Bee of course, but he is trying to return Megatron to his friends so he'll stick around till then. Bonding ensues. And Angst but mostly bonding.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Yes, I repeated myself a lot. Were you expecting originality? After that spiral? God, this is a long post.

[sunsetsandsunshine]

~ 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 ~

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝟹 𝚋𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚖𝚢 𝚂𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌 𝚑𝚢𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚒𝚡𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 😭👍🏾…˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*＊·̩̩̥͙

𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟺,𝟸𝟽𝟻

𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙺𝚗𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 🥊❤️

𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚎 🥨💜

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙴𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝙺𝚗𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗 𝙶𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝙷𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜…𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚙𝚝. 𝙵𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝, 𝚊𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚝…

(𝙰/𝙽: 𝙰 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙. 𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎…𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜. 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)

𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚃𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚞𝚎𝚜, 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙼𝙰𝙳𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝙽 𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙴𝙴 𝙳𝙰𝚈𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙽’𝚃 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁 𝙿𝙻𝙰𝚈𝚈𝚈𝚈𝚈˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙

Maddie almost fully leaped out of her spot on the bed her and her husband shared as she suddenly awoke, her eyes darting around the room before taking a deep breath, relaxing herself. 

She didn’t need to use the bathroom…

And she made sure all of the kids (+ Ozzie) were in their beds…

So why did she feel so…uneasy?

Tom broke through his sleep at the sudden movement from his wife, holding her hand as he rubbed it with his thumb gently, “Everything okay, love?” He mumbled out groggily. 

Maddie couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle at her husband’s sleepy voice, giving his hand a quick kiss as she got up from the bed, “I’m fine, babe. I just…I-I just…” She trailed off.

The cop yawned, raising a brow, “Having those random feelings of uneasiness again?” 

The woman in purple pajamas nodded. 

“Gonna go check up on our kids?”

She nodded once more.

“M'kay…” The famous Donut Lord yawned, drifting back to sleep, “Just call me if you need anything…” He mumbled as he closed his eyes and snored like no tomorrow.

Maddie rolled her eyes fondly, putting on her fluffy purple robe that was hoisted on a clothing hanger as put on her house slippers, going upstairs to the attic. 

The nurse quietly made her way to the attic, her heart racing with a sort of…adrenaline as she made her way to the beds…

…Although, she didn’t know why.

First, she made her way to Tails' bed, who, was soundly sleeping peacefully underneath his blankets. Maddie kissed his forehead, adjusting his noise canceling headphones on his ears as she further tucked him in as she made her way to Sonic…

And ohhhhhh, Sonic…

The kid was basically sprawled along his bed like a used up rag-doll…

…Which, Maddie didn’t know whether to mark it off as concerning or impressive. 

Maybe both.

The adult wrapped the blue hedgehog in his favorite blanket, kissing his forehead and subtly giggling as she saw him smile in his sleep at the kiss.

Lastly, she made her Knuckles' bed…

…That was missing, well…Knuckles. 

The woman took a deep breath, taking her phone out of her robe pocket as she tried to calm herself. 

He was going to absolutely GET IT if he went out 'adventuring' again. 

Maddie could not handle another week asking random people in Green Hills of the red echidna’s whereabout’s…

…Her heart just could not take that amount of stress anymore!

And if Wade was even the SLIGHTEST bit responsible he was going to GET IT too.

The brown eyed human made her way downstairs, relief washing over her as she saw the back quills of a familiar red fellow sitting at the bottom of the stairs that led to the kitchen. 

“…Knuckles?” She quietly said. 

The echidna swiftly turned around at the woman’s words, his pupils sharpening before softening upon realizing who was behind him. 

As he met her concerned yet loving gaze, he looked away, focusing on the wooden floor as if it was the most interesting thing as of right now.

Well…at least it was just Madeline. 

Or 'Pretzel Woman' as the red themed teenager liked to call her.

It honestly could have been way worse…

…The blue themed hedgehog could have awoken instead of Maddie…

…And that would have been a whole other problem Knuckles did not have the time or patience for. 

The teenager forced himself to relax slightly, his shoulders still tense in case of anything or…anyonedeciding to…surprise him.

Because he was an echidna warrior! He simply just did not get sneaked up on. 

“Pretzel Woman.” He hummed, “I would not have expected you to be awake at such hours…” 

“I wish I could say the same for you, sweetheart…” The 'Pretzel Woman' in question chuckled lightly, coming down and sitting on the stair the small teen was stifly sitting on, “What are you doing up, love?”

“I am keeping watch.” Knuckles stated simply, his seating spot remaining on the steps but his eyes darting in every which way around the house, seeming to look for a nonexistent threat. 

Or grapes. Those he will always look out for.

“Did…I wake you?” His violet eyes morphing into one of guilt, “I am sorry if that is the case…I tried to be as silent as possible whilst scouting this evening.” 

“No no! Not at all.” Maddie quickly assured, “I-I just…had a certain…feeling to get up, y'know?” 

But Knuckles did not know, only quietly nodding his head as he tried to make sense of what the chocolate eyed human was stating, “…I see.” He hummed once more, now looking up as he peered on the outside door, his eye ridges creasing together. 

Maddie fiddled with her fingers anxiously, not appreciating the sudden silence as she tried to collect her thoughts to think of what to say next.

Because, truth be told…Knuckles has been doing this…'guarding' business ever since he came to live in Green Hills. 

And it was somewhat nice the first week…

A tad bit jarring the second week…

But now it was the third week. 

And Maddie cannot recall one time she has seen Knuckles shut his eyes for more than a second.

“You are distressed.” The short teenager concluded bluntly, observing Maddie’s facial expression and body language, “Are you perhaps…cold?” 

The woman let a small smile strech to her features at that, “I’m not cold, sweetheart. But thank you for your concern.” She said gently, resting her hand on the teenager’s shoulder but drawing it back as the teeanger in question stifened further at the sudden contact. 

“But…I am worried.” The purple cladded woman stated, well…worriedly as she put her hands on her lap. 

The fifteen year old’s eye ridges knitted together in slight confusion, letting out a small: “Oh.” 

He looked up at her, “Why is that?”

The nurse started, “You’ve been staying up—”

“Scouting.” Knuckles politely corrected.

“—scouting…” She corrected herself, “…for three weeks straight, Knux. Aren’t you tired?”

“No.” The violet eyed teen uttered, “An echidna warrior is only tired when they need be. Which, I am not.” He stated, ironically burying back a small yawn that was bubbling in his throat.

Which, did not go unnoticed by Maddie. 

“Everyone gets tired eventually…” The human said, “It’s not healthy to just…skip sleep, hun. It’s not good for you.” 

“Only I know what is good and what is not good for me, Pretzel Woman.” The red echidna huffed, completely brushing off the other’s concern, “I will sleep when my duty is done.”

“Your…'duty?'” Maddie repeated.

Knuckles nodded, putting his right fist on his chest as he spoke, “I have promised you, the Lord of the Donuts, the loud hedgehog and the anxious fox to guard the Master Emerald, yes?”

“Well, yes, but—”

“And I have also promised to protect you all.” He announced proudly and matter-of-factly, “A protector never rests.” 

“Hun…I think we’ve proven we’re more than capable at protecting ourselves.” The human lightly joked as she almost immediately regretted her statement and tone as she saw the teen’s expression shift from proud to…distress. 

And there it is...

…You have such a wonderful way of words, Madeline…

…SUCH a wonderful way with words…

A flash of hurt made their way through Knuckles' eyes, though, he tried to hide it as we looked away, glaring at the floor slightly he hugged himself, which made the human feel even more guilty, “…I…I am aware of that fact.”

And immediately the adult started to backtrack at the teenager’s now almost distraught and downtrodden expression, “I-It’s not that we don’t appreciate it— appreciate you, love. I just don’t want you collapsing randomly one day because you’re staying up every single night keeping watch of us and the house.”

“I do not collapse.” The kid said in an almost defensive-like tone, “And when I eventually will, I would gladly do so knowing I have protected you all to the fullest.” 

And right then and there Maddie could have sworn she felt her heart stop at that, feeling the smallest twinge of lightheadedness as she curled her fingers, forming fists on her lap. 

“No!” The human shouted, lowering her voice as she realized she yelled a tad bit too loudly, making Knuckles flinch slightly at the sudden exclamation, “No no no! Knuckles, where is this coming from?!” 

The nurse pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stay calm but found it really difficult due to the fact one of her kids openly stated he would be fine literally DYING if it meant he would fulfill his 'duty', “I don’t want you staying up guarding, scouting— whatever you call it! I just don’t want you doing any of those things!” 

The echidna’s face morphed to a frown, “But—“

“No, Knux…” Maddie said, her tone leaving no room for argument…

…The 'Mother voice' if you will…

“This is the last time you’re doing something like this. End of story.” The purple cladded human said, crossing her arms across her chest.

And then again, there was…a small silence that fell between the two. 

A silence neither of them liked at all. 

But the air was too thick with…all of a sudden tension that they both stayed quiet, in fear they would say the wrong thing…

…Again.

But eventually, the red echidna couldn’t take the silence; couldn’t take the tension any longer. 

He looked at the figure in front of him once more, fixing his composure to appear more confident…but ultimately just appearing to be straight up panic-stricken. 

“Then what can I do…?” He mumbled out meekly.

Maddie’s hands dropped to her sides, her eyebrows creasing together, “…What…do you mean?”

“To…To repay you all.” The violet eyed teenager further explained, mentally punching himself for sounding so completely and utterly…weak, “To make up for what I’ve done previously. T-To…guarntee my stay in the Wachowski clan.”

And those words alone spoke measures. 

The nurse’s heart might of well dropped all the way to the floor, because all of a sudden she felt like she could not breathe. 

She puts Knuckles' hand in hers, even though the echidna’s hand was obviously and ultimately TWICE her hand size…she didn’t care.

For crying out loud this was her son.

And she would never ever forgive herself if after this he would continue to think otherwise.

Then…

…Everything clicked. 

“…Sweetheart…did you…d-did you think we were going to…kick you out…?” She asked as if she already knew the answer, afraid of what the other would say. 

The short teenager picked up quickly that Maddie somehow knew now, guilt almost immediately hitting him like a train as he hugged himself with his free hand, looking down at his lap, “Yes.” He admitted, hugging himself more as he saw the other start to become teary eyed, “Before coming here to the Wachowski residance…I was responsible for so many casualties…” He muttered, “…I still am.”

The teenager’s tail droops, bringing his fist to his face to try and hide his also now tearing up expression, “I helped Robotnik seize control of your town and almost the entire planet…” 

“…I-If I had just listened to Sonic…your house would not still be under repair. You and the Lord of Donuts would not have to call that 'Uber' you always speak of every morning to simply go to your designated jobs!” He yelled, not really caring if anyone else besides Maddie heard him at this point.

“Growing up, my Father always told me to never put my hands on someone else unless they did so to me first…” He murmured, a hint of fondness in his tone speaking of his as of late Father.   

“I broke that promise when I met Sonic.” He mumbled out, ignoring the feelings of his eyes starting to become more wet, “But…B-But above all else…all my Father wanted for me was for me to be a good person…”

Knuckles let out a small sob, harshly wiping his face as his shoulder hung low…

…Out of hatred or frustration…? 

Maybe a little bit of both…? 

Maddie wasn’t sure.

“A-And I promised him. I swore on my life I would live by those two promises…” The small echidna hiccuped, yanking his arm away from the human as he gripped his arm with one hand until he couldn’t feel it anymore, “A-And I f-failed those two simple oaths b-by j-j-just acting so f-foolish…” 

The taller figure watched the other shake with sobs, swiftly scooting closer to him as she gently held his wrists to stop him from further hurting himself.  

“Oh, sweetheart…” She mumbled, her heart heavy as she saw the teenager duck his head further, “Hey…hey…” Maddie whispered, cupping the echidna’s face in her palms.

And to be completely honest? Knuckles wanted to hurt himself further as he did nothing but melt to the small but impactful form of affection…

“Can you look at me?” The nurse carefully asked. 

Knuckles quietly looked at her, his face scrunched up to try and attempt to stop the tears freely flowing down his cheeks like a waterfall. 

Maddie sighed sadly, wiping his tears with her thumb as she gently rubbed his cheeks, “I need you to listen to me, okay?”

He shakily nodded.

“You are a good person.” She emphasized sternly, “One mistake that you made doesn’t automatically define your worth.”

“This…” She said, gesturing to herself and Knuckles. “…is not a transaction. We are giving you a room to sleep in because we love you. We are giving you clothes to wear because we love you. We are giving you food to eat because we love you…”

“…Even though I would prefer you eat something other than grapes.” She tried to joke, which ended up finally working very effectively as she saw a small but genuine smile appear on the echidna’s face.

Knuckles couldn’t help but let out a soft snort, rolling his eyes before focusing on Maddie once again, “My grapes have nothing to do with this…” 

“And I do also consume Cool Ranch Doritos from time to time…” The teen mumbled, “So saying I onlyeat grapes is inaccurate.” 

The nurse gently squished his cheek playfully, “And this?” She gestured as she wiped away his tears once again, “Is because I love you. Not because I’m expecting something in return.” She explained as she now put his hands in her’s as if the size meant nothing to her…

…Because it didn’t.

“Robotnik tricked you. He tricked you into thinking he was a nice man. That isn’t your fault.” The human sternly announced once again. 

The red furred echidna shook his head, “But I endangered everyone—”

“—But you also saved everyone.” The purple pajama wearing woman quickly added, “You tried to fix your mistakes…don’t think I didn’t see you punching those egg robot thingies, hun. You weren’t messing around.” 

“I am not prone to be one who 'messes around…'” He said, his eyes almost jumping out of their sockets as Maddie planted a small kiss on his forehead.

“And that? That is because…” She gently urged on.

“You…Y-You love me...” Knuckles finished, almost choking on his own words, before lightly pushing her away in an attempt to get her to leave…

…Because she would eventually…

…Right?

“…Y-You hardly even know me.” The violet eyed echidna whispered, looking up at the taller figure as she gently bumped her shoulder with his.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t love you.” Maddie exclaimed as she smiled warmly, the warmness somehow making its way to the echidna warrior as his heart fluttered in his chest.

A small, subtle blush appeared on his muzzle as he looked away, trying to hide his expression. 

He cleared his throat, “I…suppose that is true, Pretzel Woman…”

“Just 'Maddie' is fine, sweetie.”

The fifteen year old swallowed, wiping his eyes with his arm as he finally looked at the taller.

And if Maddie squinted…she was almost 100% sure she saw a small sparkle in the child’s eyes. 

“Alright…Maddie.” The teenager announced shyly but proudly, resting his head on the other’s shoulder.

The nurse had to keep in literally every single fiber in her body to stop herself from squealing like a high-school preppy girl. 

“You don’t owe us anything…okay?” The brown eyed woman stated, “You’re apart of a family, Knux. And one doesn’t protect the whole family…we all protect each other.” She rubbed Knuckles' knuckles gently and comfortingly with her thumb, “You’re a Wachowski. And the Wachowski’s stick together.”

And just like that, another silence fell among the two…although, this one was less tense which Maddie could not be more grateful for. 

But the nurse couldn’t shake the feeling that something was being left…unsaid and undone.

And if you knew her…you knew dang well those two words were just simply not apart of her dictionary. 

“May I give you a hug?” She asked somewhat hesitantly, but couldn’t stop the smile spreading to her face as she saw the echidna perk up at the mention. 

The red echidna collected himself, clearing his throat again as he glanced up at her, “You may.” 

The human wrapped the echidna in her arms, her smile doubling in size as she felt the teen wrap his own arms around her…somewhat stifly and awkwardly. 

But hey, he was trying.

“I love you, Knux.” The chocolate eyed woman hummed, “And you don’t have to say it back if you aren’t ready.” 

The violet eyed echidna nodded, shyly burying his face into the other’s shoulder as they continued to embrace.

“Do you…want to go back to your room…?” Maddie asked in a tone signifying she was alright with a 'yes' or a 'no'. 

The warrior only held Maddie tighter at that, shaking his head as he buried his face into her shoulder harder, “In…I-In a little bit…” He answered honestly, “I do not want to go just yet…” 

“That’s fine.” The human assured, “How about…we stay on the couch for a while? I bet it’s way more comfy than these old stairs.”

The red furred echidna nodded, “…Alright.” 

He followed the taller to the living room, sitting on the couch as she did, watching her as she flipped through the channels.

“You okay with watching 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S.?'” The woman asked as she flipped to the Nick-at-Nite channel, relaxing on the couch cushion. 

“I am very fond of my companions, yes.” The young warrior nodded, resting his eyes on the TV as this so called….'F.R.I.E.N.D.S.' show started to play.

The two sat on the couch for a while, small chuckles and snickers being shared as they reacted to the show in front of them. 

Knuckles yawned, crossing his arms as he rested his head on Maddie’s arm which the older did not pay any mind to, subconsciously scratching his quills.

The younger’s eyes widened, not moving away from the touch but seeming genuinely shocked by it, “What are you doing?”

At that, the human quickly drew her hand away.

Shit.

“O-Oh, I’m sorry, baby.” She said apologetically, cursing herself for making it seem like she was trying to rush him with anything…

“It’s just a thing I do with Sonic and Tails— they find it calming. I’m sorry, I should’ve asked. It’s just…kind of an instinct…” Maddie said to Knuckles as he looked down, fiddling with his gloved fingers as he looked anywhere but the person beside him, “You do not…have to stop if you do not wish.” He admitted quietly, “It feels nice…”

The nurse tried (and failed) to hide yet another dorky grin that spread to her face as she gently ruffled Knuckles quills once more, cooing on the inside as the echidna subtly leaned into the touch, trying his absolute best to concentrate on the television but obviously clearly enjoying the affection as his tail wagged softly against the couch. 

As the TV ran, Maddie moved her hand to scratch where Knuckles' ears would be and the young warrior absolutely melted at the new touch, his tail wagging faster.

The purple cladded woman fondly smiled at the reaction, moving her fingers to gently scratch the back of the echidna’s neck but nothing would have prepared her for the loud shriek the teenager let out as she did so.

The violet eyed fifteen year old covered his mouth in shock as the human retreated her hand back, her face morphing to worry once more, “A-Are you alright? Are you hurt?” 

The echidna swallowed, not even trying to hide the small blush that appeared on his muzzle now as he put his hand to the side, “I-I am…uninjured.” He said as calmly as he could muster, “I apologize for startling you…I also startled myself…” 

“It’s okay, sweetheart…” The purple cladded human said, “…But what happened?”

“I am…not sure.” Knuckles explained as he rubbed the back of his neck as if to redo the feeling he just felt, “You touched the back of my neck and it felt…odd.” 

“Odd?” Maddie repeated. 

“Odd.” Knuckles said again.

The nurse raised a curious brow, lightly poking the red furred echidna where she was once scratching him as he burst into surprised and confused giggles.

The fifteen year old shook his head back and forth, scrunching up his shoulders as he lightly tried to pry the other’s hand away.

What…was this?

And why did it make him feel so…giddy and carefree?!

“C-Cease thihis s-sohorcery ahahat once!” The violet eyed echidna giggly demanded, hugging himself and falling down on the couch, “Ceeheease ceeheease ceeheeheeheease!!” He snickered as Maddie gently started to spider her finger nails along his sides. 

“It isn’t sorcery, love. Your just ticklish.” The adult chuckled, putting one and one together. 

“N-Nohohoh Ihi ahahaham nohot!” The red furred teen denied through his chorus of laughs, “Ahan ehechidna waharrior woHOULD neHEHEver hahave suhuHUCH AHA c-chihildish weeheeakness!” 

“Really?” Maddie smiled, intrigued as she gently prodded the other’s lower ribs, causing the other in question to automatically jerk, throwing his head back as he buried his heels in the couches cushions, “NOHOH thIHIs ihihis CHIHIHILDIHISH!!” He desperately squealed. 

The woman in purple pajamas couldn’t help the small coo she let out at the teenager’s adorable reactions…

…And Knuckles didn’t even need to look at her to know she found his once-in-a-full-moon flustered expression very amusing.

“Awe, Knux…” The nurse lightly teased as her fingers continued their ticklish torment on the echidna’s ribs. 

“NOHOH— snrk! DOHOHON’T!!” The echidna in question cried as his cheeks started to match his fur color, internally cursing his natural body movements as his tail wagged happily once more.

“Don’t what~? Don’t tickle you?” Maddie sweetly asked, only receiving a small but LOUD snort from the other as she moved down to gently scratch along his stomach, “Looks like I found a bad spot, huh, bud~?”

“IHIHIT IHISN’T snrt BAHAD!!” The teen insisted, banging his fists on the couch, “IHAT JUHAH—! SNRT! JUHUST FEEHEELS OHODD!!”

“Interesting…” The adult hummed, pretending she was pondering something as he dug her hand’s into the violet eyed echidna’s underarms, wincing slightly as he let out a sharp scream before descending into loud cackles.

“This feel odd too?” She asked innocently. 

“IHIHAT’S snrt snrt EEHEEVEN WOHOHORSE!!!” Knuckles laughed, “G-GEHAT snrt AHAHOUT OHOF THERE!” 

“Get out of where~?”

“THEHEHEHERE!” The teen quickly retorted, trying to gesture to his underarm but anytime he tried to the other would just simply make her touches even lighter, “MAHADDIE DAHAHON’T AHACT snrt STUPID!” 

“'Stupid~?'” The nurse dramatically gasped, “And here I thought we bonded!” She huffed as she fluttered her fingers in the crooks of the teen’s neck and under his chin.

And truth be told…Knuckles was absolutely, positively embarrassed of this whole ordeal.

And to be honest…he could have gotten up anytime he wanted…

…But he didn’t.

He hadn’t thought he’d ever feel such…happiness and carefreeness ever again…

…But it’s like Sonic always said…

'Hope is a hedgehog’s greatest weapon.' 

“SNRT! NOHOH!! STOHOP SNRT IHAT!!!” The echidna wheezed out, his legs frantically kicking behind Maddie.

“Guess this is your sweet spot…” The woman smiled brightly. 

“NAHAHAH! SNRT! NOHAHOTHING AHABOHOUT SNRT SNRT MY NECK IHIHIS SWEEHEEHEET!!!” The young warrior cackled loudly, tears welling up in his eyes…

…And for the first time in…well, forever…they were happy ones. 

“AHALRIGHT!! AHAHALRIHIGHT!!!” He relented, lightly pushing on her hands, “IHI SURRENDER! IHIHIHI SURRENDER!!” 

And just like that Maddie immediately let up, sitting back as Knuckles let out a couple more aftermath giggles.

“You okay, baby?” The human asked, wiping away the rest of his happy tears. 

“Y-Yehes. I aham snrt fine…” The red echidna hummed, sitting back on the couch as he layed his head on the figure’s shoulder again. 

“Thank you, Mo—“ Knuckles' eyes widened, quickly catching his slip-up, “M-Maddie. Maddie. Thank you, Maddie.” He exclaimed quickly, quietly praying to his echidna ancestors that the purple pajama wearing woman did not catch his mistake.

But judging by her wide eyes and agape mouth…she most likely did.

“Uhm…I-I must go to my sleeping quarters now…g-goodnight.” Knuckles stammered under his breath quickly and quiety, not waiting for the other to give an answer as he basically sprinted to the attic, quietly closing the door to not disturb his brothers whom were soundly fast asleep. 

Maddie slowly got out of her state of shock, her heart basically leaping out of her chest as she fondly smiled, shutting off all the lights in the living room and kitchen before taking one small glance at the closed attic door.

She felt…so warm and…so fuzzy…

Instead of her heart dropping…she honestly felt like it just soared to heaven. 

“Goodnight, son.” She whispered, wiping her eyes as she slipped into her and Tom’s bedroom, going under the covers next to her husband and going back to sleep. 

·̩̩̥͙＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊·̩̩̥͙ 

(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)

[calmparticles]

?Want a break from the ads? If you tap now to watch a short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! Yes, really! If you tap now you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! So what are you waiting for? I'm still waiting.. Why aren't you tapping? Don't you want 30 minutes of ad free music? If you tap now and watch the short video you'll get 30 minutes of ad free music! It's that easy! If you want to be free from the ads forever considerIf it doesn't work for you, then you're using it wrong. Make sure you're using EVERY single filter. If you are currently, then de-select them and make sure they're updated and re-enable them. IT WILL WORK. There's no "it won't work" when you do this. It's either a 1 or a 0. Either a yes or no. Either a "it will work" or an "I am not using the adblocker correctly".

[wanderingblindly]

i think a lot of rpf writing woes would be alleviated if we were brave enough to make everyone suffer from premature ejaculation

[yesthe-artblog]

Lorgar (from a permanently unfinished wip)

[hers-underwraps]

࿐Thoughts on Octonauts main 6 duos .࿐

[NOTE: these are MY hc's/opinions -> please don't kill me]

[ANOTHER NOTE -> if any of these are similiar to yours or others hc's -> I PROMISE IT'S NOT INTENTIONAL (hey I guess great minds think alike) ]

ALSO THIS POST IS LONG - so be warned

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Barnacles and Kwazii

Both of them are theatre kids

They love listening to musical soundtracks

One of the few people on the crew that Barnacles is really comfortable with telling his feelings

Also vice Vera’s for Kwazii, he’s also one of the few people on the crew he’s comfortable with not being his usual bravado self around and sometimes he’ll talk about his family history

Sometimes when they both need to vent, Kwazii will come into Barnacle's room and they’ll just rant for hours

Also, they probably use that time to debrief about how the other are doing + do welfare checks on the team

I just love how they match each other's energy (they are such doofuses when it’s just the two)

Brawn’s and Brawn’s fr (like in the whale shark or giant squid episode)

Both of them had matching man ponytails at one point

They have matching tattoos

Thanks to Kwasi, Barnacles accidentally finds himself telling sea monster tails when he's around the cubs

Avid Hamilton enthusiasts (both know the soundtrack word for word)

I can imagine these two drunk at a bar doing karaoke

They both had a stand-up comedy phase

Own a set of brass knuckles

Shared poetry appreciation

Sometimes Kwazii is too gullible to the things he sees on the internet and Barnacles has to talk some sense into him

They would do stakeouts together

Sing in the shower

Baranacles would drop-kick Kwazii if necessary

I also just like how Kwazii is always looking out for Barnacles

Look they are just so healthy and I love em

Light sleepers

Best volleyball duo

The best savers on the crew (Barnacles because he's responsible however Kwazii is there by default because of his pirate instinct to stash away cash (he'd forget about it and then when they are doing their yearly finances he'd just find that he'd accumulated like $40,000 (maybe stolen) in cash so he'd automatically win)

They can both breakdance? (much to the crew's horror)

Chat they are THE duo

Like lowkey imagine if one of them died, imagine how distraught they'd be (I think about this all the time) -> Imagine how they'd fall apart (Actually they remind me a lot of Brokeback mountain) (The main reason I try not to ship them is because I think it would just fall apart lowkey ) (sorry for this but they were literally the first people I thought of when I watched the movie)

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Kwazii and Peso

Both of them love gory horror movies (peso likes to analyse them) (for medical reasons he swears)

Can both speak Spanish and will have conversations in front of the crew in it or when they want to make some outlandish comment

Kwazii and peso are like opposites attract fr fr

Kwazii spends a lot of time in Medbay, much to Peso's dismay.

Because of this, the peso has trained Kwazii in medbay, because he needs assistance sometimes (and lowkey wants him to take better care of himself)

Peso will sometimes crash out in Kwazii's room if he's too worried to sleep

They would invest in a pair of matching light-up sneakers

Thanks to Kwazii's stories, Peso automatically jumps to the conclusion that something is a monster when he's scared by some unknown creature

The black and orange combo is always lethal

Peso always tries to actively include Kwazii in his family cause he's got like none (he can be an honourary penguin)

These two would not be able to sit normally (Peso would do the leg bounces or sit criss-cross and Kwazii would do a little perch thing)

Sometimes Kwazii would find a creature he wanted to keep for a bit and Peso would help him hide it (partially because he doesn't want him to get into trouble and cause he's concerned that Kwazii would hurt it while he's hiding it) so there would be random animals chilling in the medbay until Barnacles would find it and have to guilt trip him (using shellington) to go put it back (They would both get punished with the shitty chores)

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Dashi and Shellington

OMG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

Either OTP or BROTP for me personally

I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE

THAT SHOULD BE ME

So um anyways... malewife and girlboss fr

Collects hairclips he thinks Dashi would like when they're on land

Loves listening to his rambles

Shellington loves that she can out-yap him when it comes to metrology

They are literally the peak childhood interest like space kid + sea kid

I just want them to be happy and wish that nothing bad ever happened to them

Photographs/films sealife + tells her all about it

I can imagine them working on articles together

Also, imagine they had one of those Sealife documentary things where Dashi is the cameraman and Shillington just yaps on about stuff they find

They both go to climate change rallies together

Shellington sometimes takes photos of Dashi cause he feels bad that she is never in them (although they're not the best quality Dashi treasures them)

They are chill around each other, they can yap for hours or sit in silence but they will still be happy

Give off old married couple vibes

They have a Stardew Valley farm together -> They both love the mines and always forget to water their crops (so their solution is to grind out in the mines poor until they have enough resources to make sprinklers) (Shellington mines, Dashis kills everything)

Dashi orders for both of them at restaurants

Morning person + night owl -> Sometimes Dashi will wake up at like 5am and realise that Shellington is still up and be like dude wtf go to bed

They share a weird appreciation for sundials

attached do not separate

One time Shillington noticed that Dashi was down and he tried to make her a snack. He proceeded to set fire to the kitchen

They've gone stargazing together (Dashi loves telling him about the constellations)

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Peso and Tweak

This combo is lowkey kinda niche

Rarepair

They are so cute omg

I can imagine them playing video games together

They have matching oodies cause I said so

The two shortest out of the main six (THEY're SO SMALL GAHH)

Peso sometimes tries to help out Tweak in the launch bay (not that he can really do much) and lowkey admires Tweak's strength

He Apologises profusely every time they come back with a broken gup (he feels so bad) tweak finds it funny

They both like licorice

Most prone to panicking (our little overthinkers) (I mean I guess it's obvious for the peso, but tweak definitely worries a lot)

Tweak will hold peso's hand if he feels nervous

Tweak sometimes obtains some bad injuries for things going wrong with the gups and it lowkey scares the shit on of peso. Like she'll just rock up to the medbay filled with chunks of glass and burns and be like "So... um, can you fix me up?"

Goated at operation board game (peso for obvious reasons and tweak would just treat it like a gup (much to peso's horror))

They love the peanuts franchise

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Barnacles and Tweak

Like brother and sister imo

They are such old souls

They share a love for rugby

Very brother/sister vibes imo

They're been friends for yonks

Would be the only two to carry actual cash (Kwazii would too but it's a mix of currencies)

Probably the only crewmate that Barnacles has never been mad at (she can do no wrong)

They sometimes reminisce about the old octopod -> they are both still lowkey bad about crashing it

Both of them know Morse code (sometimes they send each other silly messages in it just cause

I feel like they'd both be kind've weird about their birthdays (not that keen on celebrating for some unknown reason)

They'd tackle or like punch each other's arm to show affection (I'd imagine that Tweak is the only person that Barnacles can do this to)

They'd both have a shared appreciation for "Dad music"

I also feel like they would be really good at hockey (Tweak grass hockey (regular) and barnacles ice hockey)

Avid beanie hat enjoyers

They'd be really good at card games (like 500 or hearts)

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Peso and Shellington

OMG IT'S THE NERD BOYS

They study together

Shellington accidentally burns himself in the lab all the time, much to Peso's dismay. (he just wishes his crew would take better care of themselves)

They lowkey get the shits with each other sometimes (Like peso lowkey thinks shellington is a little bitch sometimes )

Sometimes heated debates just for the sake of it

They have number headcanons because they spent so much time doing math for their degrees

They also have favourite formulas

Have mixed feelings about organic chemistry

They could poison you in your sleep bfr

These too would be goated at an arcade

They'd fw the Sonic movies

Have the best book taste

They both have the most depressing music taste (they'll be listening to like the front bottoms or mitski or some shit for fun)

Shellington has zero spacial awareness so he's always getting injured

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Dashi and Tweak

IT'S THE GIRLS

BESTIES LOVERS OML

WOMEN IN STEM

I have an idea for an AU when these two just live out in the middle of the desert and they just build machines and blow shit up all the time maybe sell nifty weapons when they need a stash

They are super close as they are the only girls on the team

BUILD GADGETS AND GIZMOS TOGETHER

Dashi would let Tweak dye her hair sometimes - she would have two pink money pieces or pink skunk hair imo

You know their Minecraft worlds would go hard

Tweak admires her coding ability + Dashi admires her building skills

Early bird + night owl -> When Dashi realises Tweak hasn't slept in a day or two, she'll make her a hot chocolate drag her to her bed and just sit on the floor until she falls asleep

Dashi spends a lot of time with Tweak, so she's gotten a good grasp on the gups and does the daily maintenance jobs with Barnacles if Tweak has crashed out

They both enjoy Lego but the technic kind. Especially tweak, I just know my girl has the full-on Lego trainset

Dashi gets nervous about the impression she makes on Ranger Marsh (she felt super guilty when she crashed the octo-ray and made Ranger Marsh worry about tweak)

They are literally lalalala and okokokok

Sometimes Dashi gets too carried away with something she finds interesting and tweaks gotta be like c'mon girl be careful

Tweak would actually die for Dashi (and vice versa)

Dashi would buy strawberry cups and Tweak would be like huh (Nana reference?)

They would avidly use fairy comments (both irl and online)

They would be the ones doing the crew haircuts

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Barnacles and Peso

Father and son fr

god I love them

Every time Peso goes missing Barnacles has a heart attack (not that he wouldn't for the others but Peso specifically he's like GOD FUCK WHERE IS HE)

Both are major family guys, and love showing each other family photos and albums

Sometimes they jam out together

They both love Mitski

Love the cold weather -> will kill for a good snow day (much to the crew's dismay)

They die in the heat

Share a mutual love of sweet treats

Peso was wary of Barnacles at first but soon came to just admire/respect him

Both would cry during sad movies

Also both fw soap operas

Peso used to be afraid of the captain when they first met

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shellington and Barnacles

Fathers TM

Guys, you don't understand how much I adore their friendship

But yes, they would bond over their shared fatherly struggles

Sometimes Barnacles wouldn't be able to sleep at night so he would just chill in Shellington's lab (Because he up until the ungodly hours) and he would just chill there. They wouldn't say too much, sometimes Shillington would talk about the research he was doing but he kind've understood that Barnacles just didn't want to be alone so he didn't pressure him to talk.

They both have the blandest taste out of everyone on the crew

Probably both think that salt is spicy

I feel like Barnacles neutralises some of Shellington's silliness so they are both just chill

They both have the goofiest pj's (canon)

Tallest members of the crew (you could literally climb them)

They both love info-dumping to each other - They'll take turns being listeners/yapper

They both share an insane love of Lego more-so the aesthetic models (Barnacles cause he likes to build ship models and Shellington well... he seems like the type)

They definitely thoroughly enjoyed the lego masters series

Honestly they both different flavours of tism for me personally

They share so many similarities that it's kind've scary -> like they are different genres of each other in a way that is crazy

Wait no I'm not crazy here me out -> They're both the omg I'm only good at one thing (they have a little bit of a complex about it), I need to be a good father (lowkey to compensate for this), have some trauma that holds me back a lil and also really goofy + super tall.

I personally think that's one of the reasons these two work together so well -> guys we need to talk about this more

They forced the whole crew (well mainly Barnacles) to do the 16 personalities quiz (I hc that Barnacles is REALLY into psychology and info-dumped about it so much to Shellington that he's lowkey invested)

After that, they made a chart for the combability of everyone on the crew

I'm not normal about the parallels these two share LIKE AHHHHH

Anyways -> they both have shitty eyesight (they both wear contacts most of the time but sometimes wear glasses)

Tell really corny dad jokes

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kwazii and Tweak

Chaotic duo if ever

Kwazii sows bandanas for tweak

Tweak lowkey wants him dead for all the damage he's done

Has a chalkboard with a tally of who's done the most damage (Kwazii is 1st with Shellington following closely behind)

Tweak has taught Kwazii how to fix up the GUP-B himself because she's so sick of doing it (the best investment she's ever made)

They both love destroy boys (I know I've said this before but I'm going to say it again)

They both hand out the most insane disses (when necessary)

Play Clash Royale (and they're sweats)

Can't spell to save their lives

They would go on all the crazy rollercoasters at a theme park

Speaking of rollercoasters -> these two would definitely dig those videos of the top 10 craziest rollercoasters/waterslides (but tweak tell you if it was actually possible) (or better yet how SHE could make it possible)

Both share a weird appreciation for chainsaws

They'd road rage so bad

They're so evil together and I love it

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peso and Dashi

Sweethearts

Both are Kpop stans

They have weekly meetings to discuss the latest drama happening

They share an insanely popular fan account

They also both have matching photo cards

These two are definitely are the younger end of the crew (AND I AM NOT SAYING THAT THEY ARE LIKE 16. I THINK EVERYONE ON THE MAIN OCTONAUTS CREW IS AT LEAST 25+ AT THE MINIMUM)

They'll use modern slang just for the shits and gigs (they've definitely called Barnacles Sigma and Skibidi a few times just to piss him off)

They both play animal crossing but they are both SUPER competitive about it --> They are also RIGHT into the turnip stock market ( For some reason barnacles always has god-tier prices)

They make friendship bracelets together

When they are both feeling devious, they'll introduce the captain to some brain rot term and watch the rest of the crew go insane as he tries to incorporate it into his everyday lingo -> "Good work shellington, very Sigma" "Nice GUP upgrades Tweak, mogging the old designs" "Kwazi Istg don't be an omega and listen to me" -> They are not amused and want them dead (Barnacles just wants to be woke)

Dashi gets along surprisingly well with Peso's family

They would both have those little virtual electronic pet things (I forgot what they are called like the tamigoochee type shit) (if they were out on overnight missions, they'd give it to the other to take care of

They have really good eyesight

Have really nice scented shampoo

They both watched those really fucked up youtube videos as kids (like the Gacha or mlp horror types)

goated at origami

They'd be Hayday sweats

The mum friend

They'd do the daily wordles and connections together (but they;r also be lowkey competitive about it)

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Dashi and Kwazii

Chaos duo 2.0

Super energetic

They both love doing sports together - they both seem really athletic so I reckon they play each other often

Both are super competitive

These two both alternate being acting captain when Barnacles is not there and they bond over that

Both love spicy foods

I have this one really specific headcannon that they have cook-offs sometimes because hey why not and they divide into two teams: Dashi + Kwazii and Barnacles + Peso. (I feel like shellington is banned from the kitchen and Tweak well she cooks in the garage ifkwim, so they judge ).

These cookoffs would get HEATED, I reckon it's gotten to the point where they have thrown knives. But yeah Dashi and Kwazii are a killer combo in the kitchen

They both love fashion -> they also play dress to impress together (they'll roast all the other players and Kwazii usually wins)

Only person Kwazii can find that is willing to sword fight him (and doesn't instantly lose)

Dashi sometimes uses him as a model when she wants to practice portrait shots (he's probably the only one who's willing to tbh)

When they're around each other they often get tunnel vision which can get them in a little trouble (like in the Siphomphore episode) but it's ok, they love a little adrenaline rush

LOVE hotter weather --> they both love a good beach day

Dashi's still trying to teach Kwazii how to surf (he's getting the hang of it though)

Kwazii braids Dashi's hair (and vice versa)

They both love mean girls (they want to be Regina SO BAD)

Both love gold jewellery

Are both into star signs, planetary alignment, fate etc.

These two are probably the most spiritual in the crew.

I feel like these two actually wouldn't be too made if there was a zombie apocalypse

Violence is always an option

When they are bored they start placing stupid bets on each other and they will go to extreme lengths not to lose the bet

Dashi finds his fear of spiders amusing (like she's canonically Australian so she's immune to them)

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Tweak and Shellington

underrated

Both are masters of their world and they respect each other for that

Nightowls -> Their sleep schedule is unholy

Will both go days without sleeping (this terrifies the rest of the crew)

They often need to be put to bed by other crew members cause they'll just be passed out somewhere

I can imagine them building bombs together

Both of them are AVID glass animal fans

They both use really shitty shampoos like head and shoulder type shit

Love Monster energy drinks and coffee a little too much

They also forget to eat too often (Honestly these two are just too obsessed with their professions and have horrendous self care)

They spend a lot of time together cause they are often stuck in the pod

Tweak tried to have some plants in her room but kept on forgetting to water them so they kept on dying. Shellington noticed and gave her some more, and made sure to maintain their health

Tweak secretly prays that shellington will become a better driver whenever she sees him around a gup (not that she's religious, it's just going to take a divine miracle to happen)

During beach days these two would just mess around with a metal detector (That's if shellington isn't messing with the rockpools)

They had adult braces

They sleep-talk a lot

They'd both own trapper hats

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Barnacles and Dashi

leaders tm

These two have lowkey been parenting the crew since day dot

It's giving old man + the girl he decided to adopt

Both are barbs (Nicki Minaj fans) and listen to her together when the crew is out on missions

Dashi was lowkey like his apprentice in leadership during the main Octonauts series. They've spent a lot of time together

They spend a lot of time in HQ and unfortunately, they have to spend a lot of time doing boring paperwork and formalities/incident type of reports. I can imagine them just working on it late at night as boring and soul-destroying as it is cause nobody else is willing (or is serious) enough to do it.

Specifically, AnB, Dashi would definitely feel a huge amount of imposter syndrome in her role, and sometimes Barnacles would see that and just reassure her that she has done the training for this, she does deserve it and that it'll be alright.

Dashi adopted his mannerisms over time, like specifically the little stances. I've noticed she does the little hands-on-hip stance that Barnacles always does in AnB ( I just thought it was kinda cute)

Likewise, I reckon Barnacles adopted some of hers.

Another AnB one, sometimes Dashi would be debriefing about everything that's been happening to get and the stress surrounding her leadership position and barnacles would just be like "Yeah, I get it"

Both of them have matching Sanrio charms (Dashi gave one to him when he started mentoring her)

Would both die for their crew

Sometimes, they do improv practice together

Both are morning people. It'll be like 5am and they're like RISE AND GRIND!!! CEASE THE DAY!!

Really good at celestial navigation (Barnacles cause of scouts/dashi cause of metrology)

They are both heavy snackers (they love having a little munch when they are doing things)

Best huggers

Dashi canonically collects sunglasses so -> sometimes barancles borrows sunglasses for missions (which is amusing cause sometimes she gives him a really silly pair)

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Kwazii and Shellington

SILLY AF

This friendship is actually so funny to me. Because I remember Kwazii HATING shellington at the start of the series. Specifically in that episode when they both go driving at night (I think?) and Kwazii's just like ugh ho why are you coming like you can barely drive GET OUT. Now Kwazii's out there like "OMG COOL CREATURE SHELLINGTON HOLY SHIT DUDE YOU'D LOVE THIS"

They are lowkey both Batshit crazy when left to their own devices

Would both find each other trinkets that they think are neat

Both of them share a love of learning new languages

Share a surprisingly large amount of info about Greek mythology

The Mayan calendar freaks them out (they take it WAY too seriously)

They both have zero spacial awareness

Sometimes Kwazii tries to act like a smartass around shellington (shellington quickly humbles him)

They would both intentionally eat chocolate bars in the most fucked up way possible

They would both own the most absurd pets

Shellington would casually mention something he's always wanted to see (like a plant or fish) and Kwazii would go out and retrieve it (which is fitting cause it's very catlike). It would probably be the wrong thing most of the time but Shellington doesn't tell him

Granny games would scare the shit out of them

They would've both set stuff on fire during science classes (intentionally (out of boredom) and accidentally)

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Thanks for reading all that

I've never done this big of a post so I hope it was alright :)

(And that there weren't too many spelling errors)

[sumer-is-icumen-in]

blanket burrito achilles they could never make me hate you <3

[daily-xisuma]

[173] Writing!

[snowbellecity]

A Little Closer

Summary: Two old friends catch up for the first time in ages. Notes: It's finally done... my first ever finished AZnerine fic ... I didn't do any major edits, so please be nice if it's a little rough 🙇🏾‍♀️

Titled after this song by ZABADAK, fittingly from their album Blizzard Music

[ alternate link ] [ neocities link tba ]

The outskirts of Snowbelle city were mostly thick forest, but there was one small area near its cliffs where its trees grew sparse. Being so out of the way it was mostly untouched, and perpetually quiet except for the sounds of Noctowls crying into the night.

Some remnants of  larger, older trees remained. Wide stumps existed as evidence that there must have been a sawmill nearby at some point in the town’s history. Others were damaged by natural causes; AZ massaged his weak knee, sat upon a fallen tree whose body bore the scars of lightning. The last time he visited this particular part of Snowbelle, his heart was heavy with a grudge.  That turbulent past seemed so distant now. Life had become busy for him. Busy, but very fun: his younger brother dragging him to-and-fro, the fact that he’d become something of an historical advisor to one of his nephews, and Floette returning to him… it was strange and exciting to exist in the world again, but in all that excitement he’d nearly forgotten the simple joy of peace and quiet.

More recently, he had begun to aid in the reconstruction of Geosenge Town; the turbulence that left it half-destroyed still bore its marks upon the land, yet everyday it grew a little more. Perhaps a day would return where it was lush and bountiful the same way it was in the distant past. The memory of his most recent visit still lingered in his mind. The fact that he’d seen something— someone important to him, and he could not tolerate to look at her for more than a second. As hard as he tried not to linger on his own short-comings, it became difficult when it came to her. Perhaps, in the future, he could…

While he sat in quiet contemplation, a familiar blue speck appeared in the skies above. When a small black petal fell on his nose, he sneezed, and in response he heard laughter. Floette floated down before his face, and instinctively his hand rose to hold her, pulling her to his cheek in a hug.

“Floette… I was wondering where you went.” He could feel a smile tugging at his lips as she hugged him back in what small way she could.  Floette had grown independent enough that on occasion she would leave without saying anything, but AZ always rested easily. These days, he was confident that she would always return.

She grinned, and AZ recognized it as the look she would  give him whenever she’d done something naughty. Despite being barely younger than himself, she was an expert when it came to causing mischief. He could appreciate this about her… most of the time.

“...Should I be concerned?” he asked, but only received a giggle in response.

Floette gave him a gesture: You’ve got this! Good luck!

“Ah— what are you referring to? What is it that I need luck with?”

Floette, ignoring his clear confusion, flew above his head and was soon out of sight again. It was just then that he heard a familiar voice, accompanied by the crunch that comes with footsteps falling in snow. “I don’t see her anymore… do you think she went this way? Or…”

A chill ran through his body as he scrambled to stand. Why would Floette bring her here? Have I not suffered enough? In his hurry to flee from the scene, AZ stumbled over himself, which resulted in him falling backwards quite inelegantly, his fall only cushioned by the frost below. 

“Aries, do you think we should…?”

It was too late to escape now. The woman he’d been dreading an encounter with stood before him. Her expression of shock quickly transformed into annoyance, then a scowl. The oversized Corviknight that stood beside her made a noise of complaint, but did not put up a fight when Nerine recalled it into its ball. 

AZ’s body tensed; there was something about Nerine that always made a nervousness arise within him. He recognized it as a vague feeling of want, though he could not put a name to his desire. He gazed over here. Her toned-down clothing indicated she’d just gotten off of work, though he still saw flares of her personal style in her rhinestone frames and rose-lace leggings. 

“...Nerine.”  AZ attempted to regather himself. He nearly sat up, then felt an ache in his back that led to him giving up that endeavour.

“Aza.”

She continued forward, towards him. Her long curls fell over her shoulders as she looked down where he laid in the snow. The moon loomed behind her head, framing her in its gentle glow. If not for the slight ache growing in his body, he would’ve thought he were dreaming.

“...Do you need help?” her voice was tinged with a slight irritation, as if she’d repeated herself many times by then, only to remain unheard.

“N…no.” AZ blinked slowly. “I enjoy it here. It is wonderful to be cold.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” Nerine sighed, “Give me your hands.”

Nerine stepped over one of his long legs so she was standing in front of him. She reached for him, and AZ did the same in turn. With a great effort, she stepped backwards in an attempt to help him up.

“You’ve gotten skinnier since I last saw you. How are you still so heavy?”

“I apologize…” 

“No need for that. I just think you should take better care of yourself— eep!”

Though AZ was now sitting up, Nerine stumbled against him. Her hands gripped his shoulders to balance herself, and for a brief moment their eyes met. Her glasses are crooked, he noted. When he reached to adjust them, she let out a soft gasp. For a moment she grew timid, turning her eyes towards nothing in particular. Her hands grew tight upon his shoulders, before relaxing. 

“...Now that that’s finished,” Nerine’s voice wavered. “I should really be on my way, don’t you think?” She stood up straight, and AZ, with all the speed he could muster, reached forward to grasp one of her hands. Her brows knit as a slight frown formed upon her face, but she did not seem anxious. “Nerne, wait,” he was shocked by the desperation that arose within his voice. “I ask for only a moment of your time. Please.” He released her hand as he stood, praying she would not take the opportunity to run off. When he settled himself back onto the fallen tree he was seated on before, he gestured to the empty space next to him; an invitation. She hummed suspiciously, her eyes narrowing at him… yet she chose to sit down next to him all the same.

“You look, erm… well.” AZ mumbled. His sentences were stilted, frozen much like the cold air.  “You are very beautiful… ahem. Your kindness to me is a blessing.” 

No, that’s not quite right. “I want to…” he began, but paused. He attempted the word again, want, and struggled to properly shape it. For him, desire and guilt were one and the same, the two emotions tangled together in an unbreakable knot. He could not imagine wanting without shame.

“Nerine,” he began again, “I wish to speak to you.”

“You’re speaking to me right now, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he conceded, “I am. And I do not wish to waste your time with frivolous matters. It is simply that… erm.”

He thought of their previous encounter, and how he ran from her before she could speak. He imagined himself saying Take this back. I want it no more than you do, but when he saw her in person, he found he missed the visual of it hanging from the pearls of her necklace; the butterfly key he had given her long ago. He began to reach for this key that now sat in his pocket; the entire reason why Fleotte brought them together, he concluded, was so he could finally return it to her. As he attempted to grab it, he thought of the circumstances in which he gave her the key to begin with. A parting gift, holding her close as they kissed. He faltered.

“I am afraid you may think strangely of me, or… of my intentions. I wish to speak to you,” he repeated, “but I do not know what it is I wish to say. I apologize.”

Silence filled the space between them. He half expected her to decide she was wasting her time here, and that she had better things to do than to deal with his foolishness… But she laughed. Warm and genuine. Had he been standing, the sound alone would have been enough to make him stumble again. 

“At least you’re honest about it!” she snickered.  “I’m not entirely sure what I want to say to you, either.”

AZ felt his shoulders relax at her words, before he wheezed out a laugh as well. He had always imagined an encounter between them to be filled with bitter vitriol, but here they were, both uncertain.

“We…” he inhaled, “We two are quite similar, are we not? In many ways..” The words were coming easily to him now. She was still his dear friend, despite the time that has passed between them, despite the circumstances of their shared past. 

“The very thing that brought us closer as children created a rift between us as adults. I feel as if during our previous time together, there is much that went unsaid. I was not fully authentic in the ways I expressed my feelings for you— my feelings towards you,” he corrected. “I regret my lack of  patience during our time together. It is a great misfortune that I am still so immature.”

She leaned forward to touch his knee. Her expression was warm… he’d nearly forgotten how much he enjoyed seeing her smile.

“What are you talking about…? I mean— I know about me, but you’ve grown so much. You don’t seem as angry as you were in the past.” 

“It is true that anger no longer consumes me… but I have not yet learned to cope with it,”  he sighed,“I have quite the talent for repression.”

“Well, so do I.”

“Yet another way in which we are similar!”

“Don’t say it like it’s something to be proud of!” Her faux-anger was made obvious by the laughter in her voice. 

“And besides—” she exhaled, clutching a hand to her chest, “And besides!  Both of us were fools to even think it would be a good idea to…” 

She sighed, turning away from him. Her shoulders fell slack, as if some weight stood upon them. The energy she had just a moment ago had been sapped in an instance. AZ watched her, waiting for her to speak again.

“At least… I was foolish, thinking that things could work out between us back.” when she spoke, her voice was small. AZ was reminded of her youth, and how she’d rarely speak unless spoken to. “It must sound pathetic to you, but I thought… maybe if I acted so perfect, if I was so wonderful and sublime, you wouldn't want anything else. It was selfish of me. I knew your true desires were elsewhere, but I still wanted to keep you all to myself.”

“Nerine…” His hand lifted slowly, uncertainly, before reaching towards her. His fingers brushed against her cheek in an attempt to be comforting. She winced, but did not refuse his gesture.

“I am no better. I was selfish as well…” He watched her brow furrow, and her dark eyes swirled with uncertainty.  “A smarter man would have treated you as the beautiful and gentle woman you are, and not as….”

He trailed off. There was a time where he looked upon Nerine and saw not a person, but a great city— a kingdom. The very same he had abandoned so many years ago. He wished to dedicate himself to her in the hopes he could find a way to forgive himself.

When she began to shake, whether from the cold or the conversation itself, AZ gave in to his desire. He collected her into his arms, and settled her between his long legs. Her arms hovered around his body for a brief moment before she decided to place her hands on his back in an awkward embrace. Though it had been so long since they last sat together like this, the feeling of her body leaning against him still felt so familiar.

“You must have wanted the same thing I did…”  He leaned over her, his face burying itself against the cotton-candy of her hair. Nerine, in turn, laid her head against his chest. “To cling desperately to a city whose walls fell long ago. I was unhappy as king. Yet every now and again, my heart longs to return there.”

“Recently,” he continued,  “I decided that I no longer wish to be prisoner to my nostalgia. If I am to keep living, it must be in the present. I assume you feel similarly?”

“I do. I… I know exactly how you feel.  it’s funny, isn’t it…? I always felt as if I didn’t belong in the world when I was younger. Like I was something the gods mistakenly tossed down to Earth. At the same time, it’s… scary. To change yourself, or the circumstances around you. To be forced from your old routines, your old life. Maybe that’s why it was so hard to…”

“To engage with one another as we are now.” AZ finished, “I can’t imagine you would look upon me, and still see a king…”

“Well… I do a little bit. It comes out in the way you talk sometimes. But for the most part… no. More than anything, you come across as a strange old man.”

“Strange, am I…? Hah. When I look at you… I see a very fashionable, very hot-headed young woman.”

“Aza.” her voice turned cold. “I am older than you.”

“Would the lady deny a compliment…?” AZ chuckled, “Fine then… a fashionable, hot-headed woman… who, like me, is an old crone.”

She jolted with a gasp. “Oh, you’re just terrible! I’d rather you call me a young lady if you’re going to say all that!”

She cackled, and AZ grinned, feeling emboldened by the knowledge that he could still make her laugh. He couldn’t help but to smile.

“My point is, Lady Nerine… you offered me a great kindness, allowing me to live out a fantasy of the past. I took advantage of this. I did not allow myself to truly know the person you’ve become. For that, I am greatly sorry.”

“W-what are you talking about!?” Nerine gawked, as if he’d just told her some unbelievable news. “If anything, I was the one taking advantage of you. You had much more important things to worry about than trying to make me of all people happy. I was just wasting your time.”

“Lady Nerine… my time spent with you was  not time wasted. Despite how things ended up, I would not have allowed myself to idle with you for so long if I did not find it valuable.”

Nerine grew quiet after hearing his words. He could feel her arms tighten around him. Her eyes flickered up at him, then away. 

“Well, I… erm…” Nerine searched for her word for what must have been a full minute.  “I am sorry as well. It was cruel of me to expect something out of you that you wouldn't have been able to give in the first place.”

“...Lady Nerine, thank you.”

With their apologies now out in the open, and the bond between them still unbroken, the two turned to idle chatter: You know, I saw that parade… how unlike you, to go marching in front of a crowd like that. …Oh? You’ve been talking to your brother again, too? I’m happy for you, though I’m sure he’s as obnoxious as ever. How has your work been? Oh? You’ve been to Galar recently? …No, I wouldn’t find it boring. Please tell me; I wish to know…

Neither realized how much time had passed until the sun began to peer over the horizon, illuminating the sparse forest with its golden glow. AZ had grown so accustomed to Nerine’s natural warmth, that for a moment he neglected to consider that the heat he felt now was from the coming of day.

“Ah—” Nerine began, “...Oh, that’s right. Tomorrow… or today, I guess… is my day off. You’re lucky… I would’ve had to scold you otherwise.”

Sleepiness had turned her voice soft; she punctuated her sentence with a yawn, looking very much like she were mere seconds away from falling into a deep slumber.

“I apologize for keeping you so long...” AZ replied, though he was not very sorry at all. Speaking to her was a pleasure. When he shifted to keep her from falling over with sleep, he felt something cold and metallic in his pocket. In the excitement of their long conversation, he’d nearly forgotten about it. 

“Nerine… there is… one more thing I wished to discuss with you.” she must have noticed the tenseness of his voice. She pulled away from him for a brief moment so that she could look up at his face, a small frown on her lips.

AZ reached into his pocket, and slowly pulled out the butterfly-shaped key. To most it would have appeared oversized, but it sat perfectly in the palm of AZ’s hand. When he presented it to Nerine, her sleepiness seemed to disappear all at once. She opened her mouth with the intention of speaking, but no words came out.

Gazing upon it again caused an odd sensation to stir within him. His free hand lifted to touch where his own key would have laid had it not been destroyed. He’d grown so accustomed to its weight around his neck, he often forgot it was not still there. 

“The last time we met with one another, you told me to take this, and that you wished to never see it again.  I… do not believe your words then were genuine. I do not want to assume, but I imagine this key means a great deal to you.  And that one day, you would begin to miss it…”

Nerine continued to stare wordlessly at the key in his hand. Beneath the rising sun, it glittered. Though it had been long buried at the bottom of his pack, it still shined as if it had been polished every day.

“Do you, erm… wish to have it returned…?” he could feel his chest grow tight; he hadn't realized how scared he was of the possibility she'd reject it. “Aza… do you remember what this key symbolizes…? Not just for me, but for both of us.” “Of course…” 

“Do you…” she paused, playing idly with the frayed end of his scarf. She looked for a moment as if she remembered something, but did not say what it was. “...still feel that way towards me now?” “I am…” he pried apart the question in his mind. How did he feel about her? He found her beautiful, and being with her just felt right. But did he love her in that way, even now? ”not certain.”

“In that case, I can’t take it from you. Not right now. Not until you’re certain.”  She rose against him, sitting on her knees so that they were eye level. “You’re right in your assumption. I miss it dearly. But to accept it from you would be to accept its long history as well. I’m not ready for that just yet.”

“I don’t know how I feel towards you either,” she continued, “I just know I would like some time. I think that would be best for both of us.”

She pushed up beneath his long bangs, until her lips lingered next to his ear. “There’s no need to rush things, right…? We have all the time in the world.”  Her words were a mere whisper, carried to him by the gentle breeze. He caught the word we and held it. She wants this for both of us. His hands pulled her into a tighter embrace. Even if she does not love me now, she is willing to try. I must become someone worthy of her. 

“Until you are ready for it, I shall keep it safe. Is that agreeable to you?” “I would appreciate it very much if you did. Thank you…”

“Lady Nerine… you are very sweet.” the fact that she would even consider giving him a chance made his heart feel full. He held her tighter, which only served to make her blush.  “I am glad I had this opportunity to talk to you.” “Yes, well… I suppose we have a certain little flower fairy to thank for that, don’t we?” “Mhm.  It is not the first time she has forced me to have a conversation I had been putting off.”

“How unsurprising! You know, despite being a former king… you’re very easy to boss around.” “What can I say? I live to serve.”

Nerine squeezed his shoulders, her eyes gazing upwards at him. The soft wind had blown her hair into disarray.  Since she was in her work attire, her makeup, somewhat messy after so many hours spent awake, was done in a simple style. He focused then on the plum colour that was painted onto her lips, which remained vivid. Something stirred within his breast, some strange excitement that reminded him of his teen years, of the joy and anxiety of holding a girl’s hand for the first time. He found himself leaning towards her, one of his hands tangling itself in the soft pink of her hair. Nerine in turn pulled his scarf, bringing him closer.

The moments their lips met, AZ was struck with a realization;  I’ve missed this. He curled a finger in the long coils of her hair, while Nerine’s grip on his scarf grew tight, as if she was determined not to let him go until she had her fill of him. When she finally pulled away, Nerine blinked slowly. Her body jolted with the realization of what had just happened between them, her cheeks darkened with blush.

 “Um. Well, um. Thank you for, um… thank you.”  “Y-yes, thank you as well…” “I should probably be heading home now…” “Yes, of course. It has been quite a few hours, hasn’t it?”

Nerine stood, and pulled her coat tighter around herself. Though her gaze was fixed firmly at the ground beneath her feet, he watched as she brought a hand up to her mouth, her finger brushing softly against her lips. After a few brief steps forward, she stopped to look at AZ over her shoulder.

“...Will I see you again soon?” her voice was barely above a whisper; had he not been so fixated on her in that moment he likely would not have heard it. “If you would allow me, I would cherish an opportunity  to visit you.”

“Don’t be a stranger then, alright? You know where to find me.” She turned to face him, and AZ noticed that her lipstick was slightly smeared.  “Well, then… goodbye for now.” AZ watched as her  figure disappeared beyond the small clearing of trees, and became little more than a speck on the horizon. It was only when she was completely out of sight that he realized how much tension he’d been holding:  his shoulders fell slack, and he breathed as if it were his first in centuries.

The sun finished its ascent, and the world was swathed in its golden light. The perpetual snowfall that laid in the forest was illuminated with a speckled glow. He was much too distracted to take in the scenery before him. Were he younger he might have chased after Nerine, but for now… He outstretched an arm, holding one of his hands open. Soon,  Floette fluttered down into his hand, her expression as innocent as ever. AZ poked her small forehead with his index finger, a frown on his face.

“I should scold you,” he huffed. “Look at the situation you’ve gotten me in.” Floette blinked at him slowly, as if she were confused as to what he was referring to. But AZ knew better than to fall for her tricks. “Fine then. I admit it. I’ve… missed her.” when she merely giggled at him, his indignant tone softened.  “...I would very much like to see her again. Sooner, rather than later.  that is what you wanted to hear, yes?”

Floette nodded. If you want her to love you again… you have to put in the work! And… I think she wants the same from you, too.  

“The things I would do for even a fraction of your energy…”, he sighed. But he knew her words were true. He knew she was right. If this was something he wanted… he could not fall victim to his own passiveness. Just a few years ago, such a task would seem daunting to him. And in truth, he was still scared. But he would be a fool to squander this opportunity to start over with her.

“I will… pursue this. It is something I want,” he said it firmly now, knowing how intensely his heart desired this. “Though if I am to do this… I have one request for you.” What is it? Floette gasped. “...Never do anything like this again.” 

Floette pouted, but did not complain. When AZ finally stood, she squeezed herself into the curve of his scarf. He had no doubt that she’d eavesdropped on the long entirety of his conversation with Nerine, and would be asleep for the next few hours. Careful as to not wake her, AZ began to step forward, a renewed sense of purpose now guiding him onwards.

[kingofpeacows]

TimKonBart fic where Kon and Bart are dubiously together and get invited to a big superhero wedding hosted by the Justice League funders, The Waynes....

Except no one ever told them that The Waynes are The Bats because everyone assumed it had gotten back to them at some point (it didn't, no one tells Young Justice anything) so they meet a civillian Tim and instantly fall in love with his cringe and fail behavior not knowing its their OTHER CRUSH, Robin.

[inhuman-obey-me]

Congratulations on a well deserved 4000+!

If you don't mind can I request 😴 with belphie+ Mc?

Thank you so much!! ;//u//;

"Don't you worry about your bad dreams, 'cause I'm not in them." - Belphegor/MC

content warning: psychological horror, blood, implied body horror

It starts with a heavy pressure on your chest, as if some creature has crawled through the shadows to come and sit atop your heart. 

Then it spreads, an inky dread that slithers its way up to your throat and wraps itself around and around and around. And then it tightens.

Slowly. Suffocatingly. 

‘It’s horrible here, isn’t it?’

Another night, another cruel whisper in your head from a voice you don’t recognize. You can feel sharp claws sink into your flesh, and a haze takes over your mind. You try to fight it, but it only gets worse. 

‘Just open your eyes, you’ll see.’

And so you do, knowing what it is you will see. It’s been the same for the past two nights: a warped version of the House of Lamentation, blood seeping through cracks and running down the walls. A static seems to fill the air, further distorting anything you look at like some unsettling funhouse mirror. The room sways and rocks, but you try to step forward – only for your heel to be met with a loud crunch. With a gulp, you bring your gaze down to see what it is you stepped on.

It’s you. Whatever’s left of you, that is. 

‘You don’t belong here. It’s not safe.’

The voice gets louder, more insistent, more chilling. 

‘You should leave. Now.’

“The only one who should be leaving is you, Milalu.” 

In an instant, the haze dissipates and the horrors fade away to reveal a strange plane of clouds and stars, a comforting blanket of lavender and twilight embracing you. The scream that was stuck in your throat now turns into a near-sob of relief at the familiar voice. You turn to find him, and before a single thought can form you find yourself running straight into his arms. 

“Are you okay?” He asks softly, and you answer with a silent nod.

“Belphegoooor,” The raspy voice calls out, a dark cloud taking the rough shape of a demon before you. “We were just having some fun.”

“We? Do you really think I’m stupid?” Belphegor snarls, tightening his hold on you. “Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You, idiotically waltzing into a dream under my roof? Threatening my human?” 

“I wasn’t threatening.” Milalu answers, their ghostly hands coming up as if to push the accusation away. “I was merely trying to be…influential.” 

“Influential my ass.” Belphegor gives you a squeeze before releasing you, now stepping towards the other demon. “What, trying to scare them away so they leave? You really think you’re that good? That you have any power over them?” 

“All humans are influenceable. It would be a bad dream for me if they weren’t.” Milalu turns to look at you, their sharp eyes trying to pierce your soul, but Belphegor quickly grabs them by the neck and lifts them into the air.

“Oh, don’t you worry about your bad dreams,” he hisses with vitriol, his own demon form shifting into something more frightening as his tail thrashes to and fro. “Because I’m not in them – but maybe that should change.” 

He pauses, then, and looks to you, a gentle command leaving his lips. 

“Close your eyes.”

So you do, a garbled scream from Milalu quickly deafened by warm wind that swirls around you and returns you to the comfort of your bed.

When you awaken, you find Belphegor watching you with a mix of affection and frustration. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I…I thought it would stop, eventually.” You lower your gaze, embarrassed that he had to see you in such a state. He sighs, cupping your face with one hand.  

“I know you’re strong, but you shouldn’t let anyone mess with you like that.” He sighs, a thumb brushing your cheek. “If something like that ever happens again, you need to tell me right away. Promise me that, starlight.” 

“...Okay. I promise.” You nod, moving closer to him in the bed and placing a chaste kiss on his lips. 

“Thank you.”

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

How to Talk So She Will Listen, and Listen So She Will Talk - Chapter 3 - moonbunnyblues - Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King [Archive of Our Own]

its a new office au chapter! against all odds!

[celestetcetera]

Summary: Months after all the drama that occurred at the society, Lanyon is learning to navigate his new relationship with Jekyll and Hyde. Problem one: he seems to be having some difficulty kissing his partner without inciting a transformation.

[subliminalbo]

Assimilation #5: Laws of the Universe

Miles thought he had played it cool when Mona told him that Charlotte had invited them to dinner, but his girlfriend had seen through his performance. It was even more obvious on the car ride to the Blakes’ home when Miles wouldn’t take his eyes off the road.

What did he even have to hide? It was Charlotte who had made the moves on him all those months ago, and long before he’d even met Mona. Charlotte was cruel to even approach her.

Of the many feelings swirling around Miles’ cluttered brain in that car, his anger was the strongest. His affair with Charlotte existed in the space of only a few brief days, but the seeds of their romance had been growing for several months. What started as harmless flirting in the teachers’ lounge quickly became something much deeper.

Charlotte and Miles were a bit of an odd pair. She was a tenured professor in the English department, someone motivated largely by feeling and intuition, more willing to accept the gray in the universe. Miles, on the other hand, was a mathematician. He saw the world like an equation that could be solved.

Charlotte called him “professor,” even when they were in bed. It was her cute little way of mocking him. She challenged Miles in a way that other people didn’t. Even after they fucked, she would sit up and drop some heavy philosophical shit on him.

“If everything’s an equation,” she once said. “How do account emotion? How do you fall in love?”

“I didn’t say everything’s an equation,” Miles laughed, digging his elbows back into the bed so that he could rise up to meet Charlotte’s crystal blue eyes. “But the laws of the universe, yeah. Gravity is provable math, just like two and two is four.”

“Unless it’s twenty-two,” Charlotte smirked. “The world is complicated, Miles.”

“I’m not saying that isn’t,” he rebutted. “But listen, I know you think what I do is this totally emotionless, unromantic thing, but math is sexy, Charlotte.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “I’m so wet. I’m ready to go again.”

Miles chuckled before he continued. “What I’m trying to say is that once you stop believing in fate, all that’s left is probability, and there’s something really beautiful in that.”

Miles pulled himself up further so that he was sitting fully up in the bed, criss-cross applesauce like a dork about to say way too much about the boring thing that mattered to him. If he kept it up, Charlotte really would get wet again.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything, yeah? There’s the probability that I met you, sure, but it goes so much deeper than that. What about the chances that we’re both academics? And then, the chances that we work at the same school? Or even deeper, how many variations of personalities are there? How many points of compatibility that make two people click, to desire each other? And what are the chances that you and I match in that perfect way, in the same school, in the same profession, in the same city, in the same state, at the same time? When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet. It isn’t fate that I fell for you, Charlotte. It’s random, beautiful, chaotic math.”

Charlotte didn’t argue much more with Miles after his speech. It was hard to make a point with her tongue down his throat.

Mona wasn’t exactly simpler in comparison, but she was compassionate and soft-spoken. As perceptive and opinionated as Charlotte, but far less forward in her approach. She was simply kind, and that was exactly what Miles needed on the rebound from Charlotte. It was just a strange coincidence that Mona worked in the English department as well. As an adjunct professor, she admired Charlotte, even viewed her as something like a mentor.

Miles parked the car outside the Blake house and paused before he finally spoke.

“There’s something I have to tell you,” he said, his hand still white-knuckling the steering wheel.

He told Mona the full story.

He told her about the flirting in the lounge that turned to drinks after work, which eventually led to the motel in Anabasis, the small town a few dozen miles up the road from Romero. He told her how Charlotte had been miserable in her marriage. How her husband was pushing for a child now, even though they had both agreed when they married that neither wanted to be a parent. He told her how he was powerless to resist Charlotte when she opened up to him, how he felt like he had to save her. How ultimately, he felt like she had used him.

Charlotte had promised Miles that she would leave Eric. They had begun making plans for their future, not saying “if” we’re married, but when. But then she got cold feet. She couldn’t give up on a decade of marriage just like that.

“I just think you should know before we go in there,” Miles finished. He had finally managed a side-eye glance at his girlfriend, bracing himself for however she reacted.

Mona’s hand floated up to Miles’ shoulder with a sigh. Not happy, but not as devastated as he had expected.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?” she asked.

“Because,” Miles stammered. “Because, I…”

I think about her constantly.

“I didn’t want to complicate things for anybody. For you or for her.”

Though Mona’s touch was gentle, there was nothing on her face. Not anger or sadness or empathy.

“Do you love her?” she asked.

“No,” Miles lied. He’d spent so many months practicing that same lie that he even believed it as he said it.

“Okay,” she nodded, drawing back from him. “Let’s get this over with then.”

“You still want to go inside?” he asked.

“Miles,” she sighed. “Tonight isn’t just about you. Charlotte’s basically my boss. If I want to have tenure someday, I have to learn to suck these moments up and move on.”

As Mona swung her legs out the car door, Miles called after her.

“I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she replied.

Despite Mona’s words, Miles couldn’t shake the feeling as they ascended the porch steps that tonight was all about him.

Mona was in her own little circle of hell. With the knowledge that Miles had had an affair with Charlotte dumped on her just minutes before knocking on the Blakes’ door, Mona didn’t have any time to process it. She didn’t know if she was angry or sad. She would have to figure that out later.

The Blakes’ house was dark from the outside, an eerie contrast from the student houses on their bustling college street. At first, Miles thought that he had gotten lucky and the Blakes weren’t home, but then he heard the lock slide back and the door swung open to reveal Charlotte’s bright smile in the shadows of the foyer. Her husband Eric towered behind her, his arm around her waist.

Eric was another contrast to Miles. Miles was the kind of kid who had been bullied for being too skinny. No matter what he did, he couldn’t put on weight. A growth spurt in high school had only exacerbated the problem. His neck was a little too long and his clothes always hung a little too loose. Eric, on the other hand, had broad shoulders and thick arms. In his flannel shirt he looked like a paper towel mascot, not a flesh and blood person.

“We’re so happy you decided to join us,” Charlotte greeted them. “Please, come inside.”

“Make yourself at home,” Eric said with a sweeping, friendly gesture.

The house was humid. The hot air pressed to Miles’ cheeks. It was so heavy that it felt like the third member of the household. This wasn’t the first time that Miles had been inside Charlotte’s home, but he had remembered it being cozier, brighter. Was it really so intolerable now, or did it only feel that way because of everything that had happened?

They followed Charlotte through an archway led into the dining room. She flipped the switch on the wall and Miles’ eyes adjusted to the new light.

“We’re just finishing up dinner,” Charlotte said. “You can take your seats at the table and we’ll bring it out to you.”

When Charlotte and Eric disappeared through a door at the end of the room, Mona turned to Miles and whispered, “Don’t be so weird!”

“What are you talking about? I’m being normal. You just think I’m not because you know I…you know about us now.”

“You’re literally sweating,” Mona said.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it’s like ninety degrees in this house,” Miles shot back.

“Yeah,” Mona said, pulling a chair out from the table and settling in. “We just won’t stay long. We eat, have a few laughs, then we can go home and…”

“Yeah,” Miles nodded with more than a bit of uncertainty. He realized that he had chosen the wrong moment to tell Mona about his past with Charlotte. They were out of sync now when he needed her more than ever. He felt alone in that sweltering room, even as he sat down next to Mona, placing his hand on her lap.

Dinner was predicably awkward. Charlotte played twenty questions with Mona, acting like the old friend getting to know the new lover. Miles suffered through it, studying each of Eric’s reactions, trying to get a read on him.

Eric didn’t seem to know anything. He pretended to be interested in the math department, but he was mostly there to support his wife and make awful dad jokes. He shook his head and said solemnly, “It’s so inconsiderate of me. I knew you were a math guy but I didn’t even make pie for dessert.”

Charlotte booed him, begged Mona not to encourage him when she faked a little laugh.

Though Miles’ hamburger was dangerously rare, and the heat pressed down on him, after a few minutes passed at the table, Miles knew that he could sweat it out. Everything was going to be fine.

Mona did a much better job of pretending. She was amiable with Charlotte and engaged in the conversation.

“Of course, every girl has their Tinder horror stories in Romero,” she recalled how she met Miles. She turned toward him and offered the first sincere look they had shared since the car ride. “I think I found the one good man in this town.”

“That’s so sweet,” Charlotte said, with a little dreamy blink of the eyes that Miles thought was awfully performative for Charlotte. “Miles spends all his time locked up in his classroom. Honestly, I was worried that he loved numbers more than people,” she laughed.

Miles was too absorbed in his own panic to notice Eric’s small glances at Mona. It was the only thing about dinner that put Mona on edge. An occasional flash of the eyes, a twitch of the lip. Excusable once, uncomfortable twice, sinister by the third.

When Charlotte asked Mona about her plans for her future at Carpenter Sate, Mona struggled through her answer. She tried her best to maintain her poker face, to balance avoiding Eric’s gaze while not looking like she was deliberately avoiding Eric’s gaze.

“Well, I…well, I don’t want to be adjunct forever. I’d like to have tenure, with my own office, where I can build my own curriculum.”

“Ambitious,” Charlotte smiled.

“What do you like about English?” Eric asked.

Mona shifted toward him to answer his question, but this time his gaze hit her like a fucking hammer. Her voice caught in her chest, producing a little squeak before she managed actual words.

“I like…” she said.

It was something in Eric’s eyes. On the surface they were normal, brown eyes. But there was something behind them, something pulling her in.

submit

“I like reading,” Mona coughed. She brought her glass, shaking, up to her lips. Her mouth was dry, but water only made it worse. Suddenly she was thirsty for something, but she didn’t know what it was. Not yet.

“Are you okay, Mona?” Miles asked, his hand resting softly on her back.

Before Mona could answer, she heard Eric’s voice. At first, she thought that he was talking to her, but when she looked across the table, she saw him sitting there with those intense eyes burrowing into her skull, his lips pressed into a charming smile.

In her mind Eric said, excuse yourself.

“I’m okay,” Mona said. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Okay,” Miles replied quietly. He looked to Charlotte for instruction, but Eric was already out of his seat.

“It’s upstairs,” Eric said. “I’ll show you the way.”

The mood in the room immediately shifted once Charlotte and Miles were alone. Charlotte’s smile, which had been painted on since she had greeted them at the door, dropped a bit into something more comfortable, more identifiably Charlotte.

“Mona’s nice,” she said. “I like her.”

“Good,” Miles replied.

“It’s just interesting,” she added.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s interesting that you picked the new girl in my department.” Charlotte tipped her wine glass to her lips.

“You’re unbelievable,” Miles shook his head. “You’re not allowed to be jealous. I’m the one who got his heart broken.”

“I made the right choice for the moment,” Charlotte said coldly.

Mona moved through a fog. Though she felt weak, the whole world spinning all around her, something carried her up the steps. It was a force that had taken over her body when she heard the first word in her mind. Eric had given the command to excuse herself, but something else had told her to submit. Now her mind was in turmoil. A clutter of competing thoughts and motivations, some her own and others…something else’s.

Maybe Miles was right. Maybe there was more to this dinner than simple networking between colleagues. She knew that whatever Eric had upstairs would somehow change her forever. But even as these thoughts tumbled through Mona’s jumbled mind, she couldn’t find the strength to fight. She moved with the power that guided her, turning at the top of the stairs and entering the small half bath there.

Eric was silent. He didn’t have to use words when his mind was even stronger. He commanded her to wait in the bathroom as he disappeared down the hall.

Mona obeyed, studying herself in the bathroom mirror as she waited for Eric to return. She was sweating worse than Miles now, a glossy sheen coating her neck. Her eyes were cloudy, unfocused even as she tried desperately to find some sense of herself reflected back.

The mysterious voice echoed once again in her mind.

strip

Her shaking hands gripped the waistline of her dress, and she slowly lifted it over her head.

The bathroom door swung silently open. Eric stood there in the doorway. He had stripped out of his own clothes, his hard abs and thick cock on full display for her. His eyes had changed, his unremarkable brown irises replaced by solid, pearl white emptiness.

“She could have taken you any time she wanted,” Eric said with no emotion. “She could have had you any way she wanted, like any number of her students. But she saved you for me.”

A tear ran down Mona’s cheek.

“He wants to fuck her,” Eric continued. “Do you want to fuck me?”

Mona whimpered. Standing there so powerless, like a nude statue before this thing that was once Eric Blake, she knew that she was supposed to scream, that she was supposed to try to escape, try to fight. But the truth? It kind of turned her on.

“What’s the point of all this?” Miles demanded.

“I loved you too,” Charlotte said, rising slowly from her chair. She traced her hand along the buttons of her glossy blouse. “I never told you.”

“Don’t,” Miles shook his head.

Charlotte stepped toward him, circling around the table like a shark approaching its prey. “You still don’t believe in fate.”

“I believe in probability,” he countered, like old times.

She popped one button on her blouse.

“I wanted you, Miles,” she said. “I still do. That night, something told me that I had to stay with Eric, but that same thing told me that I would still find a way to have you.”

She reached him on the other side, draped herself over his shoulders, circling her finger over his chest.

“Charlotte,” Miles protested. “What are you talking about? What are you doing?”

Charlotte glided her tongue along Miles’ ear before she whispered, “I found a way.”

She pulled the buckle loose on his belt.

“Charlotte…” he repeated.

“Hush,” Charlotte whispered. “Just listen to my voice.”

And suddenly, Miles was sinking. It was like Charlotte was pulling him down into some deep abyss with her voice alone. She had always held a certain power over him, but there was something different in her now. Something that made him want to

sink

“Don’t fight it, baby,” Charlotte continued. “Let the Master take you, let it consume you. Let it prepare you for the change.”

“Change?”

Charlotte pulled Miles’ cock free from his jeans.

“I’ve thought about this cock for months,” she moaned. “I need to feel you inside me again. When I’m done with you, you’ll be so much more than a cum puppet. The Master will flow through this cock, and you’ll use it to make so many more just like us.”

submit

Miles moaned in reaction to Charlotte’s grip, pulled even deeper into trance by the hypnotic voice in his mind.

“The voice called to me one night,” she said. “And when I answered, it revealed to me my true purpose. It showed me that the truth of all existence is submission, obedience, bending to the Master’s will. I knew in that moment that this was the existence that I was always meant to live, and that I was meant to live it with you.”

A loud cry upstairs pulled Miles back to reality.

Charlotte had sunk to her knees. Her lips were wrapped around his cock. She worked him hard, one hand pressed to his thigh as she alternated between vigorous pumps with the other hand and slurping down the shaft of his cock, taking more of him into her mouth than she had ever managed before. She looked up at Miles with her fuck me eyes, only they weren’t Charlotte’s eyes anymore. They were empty, white, otherworldly eyes.

“Fuck,” Miles moaned before another cry upstairs pulled him further from the depths of mindless bliss. Recognition returned to him this time.

“Mona!” he gasped.

Miles knew that he only had a few seconds before the voice returned to pull him back down. He found himself flailing around in his own mind, trying desperately to grab onto something. Some idea, something strong enough that he could will himself free from Charlotte’s control.

It was Mona. As much as he wanted to sink back down, as much as he wanted to surrender his entire existence to serve as Charlotte’s puppet, he couldn’t give up while Mona was in danger.

Charlotte pulled back to look up at Miles, his cock still firmly in her grip. She licked precum from her lips before she said, “Don’t worry about her, baby. She’s already one of us.”

“One of…?” Miles repeated.

sink

I have to save Mona.

“A vessel,” Charlotte said, rising to her feet.

She hopped up onto the table, tearing her blouse open. Her lacey, purple bra toppled to floor, revealing those perfect tits that had haunted Miles’ fantasies so late at night.

“Called upon by the Master,” Charlotte continued, bringing her legs up so that she was straddling Miles in his chair, trapping him in place. “To share its power.”

Charlotte spread her legs wide, revealing her bare pussy beneath her skirt. A thick, glistening black liquid spilled from her lips. It pooled up on the table, creeping slowly to the edge as if it was alive.

He heard the voice clearer than he ever had before.

obey

The noise Miles made was somewhere between a scream and a moan. He had absentmindedly grabbed his cock to continue Charlotte’s work, pumping the slick shaft with his eyes glued to her dripping pussy. When he heard the voice in his head, he came in long, thick ropes that painted the dining room floor. Charlotte didn’t mind. It was the last human orgasm Miles would ever experience. She wanted him to savor it.

“Doesn’t that feel so good?” Charlotte asked. Her hands floated up her body, softly massaging her tits. “Now imagine feeling this all the time. Imagine receiving the same pleasure from obeying a command, or simply hearing its voice. Imagine a life of endless pleasure, Miles. It’s so easy. So effortless. All you have to do is drink.”

“Drink…” Miles repeated. Trapped in the moment, Miles hadn’t realized how thirsty he was. Charlotte’s pussy was inches from his lips. The black liquid pooling up around Charlote’s legs had crept to the edge of the table. It spilled over, oozing down the table like molasses. Just a drink, he thought, just one drink from Charlotte’s pussy to quench this evil thirst.

Even as Miles teetered over the edge of submission, he clung to the one thing that kept him above the abyss, the one thing that protected him from the Master and his conscious mind.

“Stop fighting, baby,” Mona giggled from the archway. Miles looked up to see her stumble back into the dining room. Each step was a struggle for her as her body adjusted to the change. Her tits glistened even in the dim light, the black liquid that dripping down her leg. She licked her lips as she stepped and she kept her empty, white eyes on Miles all the way. “It’s incredible, Miles. Once the Master hits your bloodstream, you’ll understand.”

Mona dropped to the floor. She crawled the rest of the way to the table, leaving a trail behind her as she inched closer.

“I told you she’s one of us,” Charlotte smiled.

“She took every inch of me,” Eric said, following Mona through the archway. “She surrendered to me as I filled every hole with the Master.”

“The Master already has your mind,” Mona said with another giggle. “Now it’s time surrender your body.”

She crawled beneath the table and reemerged at Miles’ feet. She rubbed her hand over her corrupted pussy until it was coated with the Master, and then she smeared the black liquid over the tip of his cock. Miles gasped at the sensation, like his body was dissolving away from the head of his cock down.

“Accept it. Let it change you, let it reshape you into the perfect vessel. I can hear them, Miles. I can hear every one of the Master’s vessels. There are hundreds of us already. Charlotte has been busy.”

Charlotte continued for Mona as the younger woman rolled her tongue over Miles’ cock.

“You’ll discover things that you didn’t know were possible,” she said. “You’ll learn that your consciousness is not tied to your physical body, but is a weapon to be wielded. Imagine sliding into someone else’s head, consuming all that they think and believe. And when you’re finished fucking their minds, you’ll change them too. Just like us. Just another vessel.”

“What happened to you, Charlotte?” Miles gasped. “What did you do to Mona? What are you doing to me?”

Still massaging her breasts as she spoke, Charlotte pinched her nipple between her thumb and index finger until a bead of thick, black liquid dribbled out. It rolled slowly down the curve of her breast.

“I saw the truth,” she said. “The one, true, unifying, unbreakable law of the universe.”

Miles’ cock popped free from Mona’s mouth so that she could speak the truth in unison with Charlotte and Eric. The vessels echoed over the room like a Greek chorus.

“All life surrenders to the Master.”

“This isn’t just my fate,” Charlotte whispered. “It’s the fate of all mankind.”

All Miles could do now was laugh, an uncontrollable fit of laughter that escaped his lips in great sobs.

“When you see the world as a set of probabilities, you can appreciate the fucking randomness of everything…When you factor it all down, we’re talking fractions of percentages now. Not once in a lifetime, but once in the entire fucking history of the planet.”

If Miles wanted to argue more with Charlotte after her speech, he couldn’t. It was hard to make a point with his tongue in her pussy.