#this has been rattling around in my brain for 6 months | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cranberrymoons · 1 year ago

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hey sweetheart

prompt: meetcute at work (@steddieholidaydrabbles) rated: e (18+) word count: 896 words tags: modern au, line cook eddie/waiter steve, hooking up

welcome to Day 4 of the fic advent calendar – bite-sized fics posting every day during the month of december. enjoy!

Steve is halfway through his first week when he meets him: the line cook with the long hair pulled back in a bun, the stark black lines of tattoos snaking up his arms, the flirty little smile that he flashes in Steve’s direction when Steve comes back to pick up Table 6’s starters.

It’s a hell of a time to start a job in the first place: mid-holiday season, no one around to train him except Robin who’s only worked there a couple weeks longer than he has and knows next to nothing about The Way Things Work.

But she’s Robin, and she’s familiar, and she knows him well enough to warn him to avoid the flirty long-haired line cook with the big brown eyes and the dimples and the million watt smile directed right at him and –

Fuck.

“Sweetheart, you rang in Table Twelve wrong,” the guy says, leaning forward over the pass with a ticket in his hand. “This says no onions, but the special isn’t made with onions.”

Steve stares at him as he loads Table Six’s plates onto a tray. He resists the urge to roll his eyes, but only barely.

“My name isn’t Sweetheart,” he says eventually. “And so – just extra don’t put onions on it. Who cares?”

The cook raises his eyebrows, tilting his head to the side. “Thought it sounded nicer than ‘hey new guy’, but if you’d prefer that –”

“Steve,” he says. He shoulders his tray. “My name is Steve.”

The cook gives him a little smile, eyes flashing in the bright fluorescents of the kitchen.

“Alright, Sweetheart.” He tilts his chin up. “Extra no onions for Table Twelve, and you can call me Eddie.”

---

It continues on like that for a week or two: Eddie flirting, finding any excuse to ask a question about his ticket.

Steve knows what he’s doing; he’s worked in restaurants before, and he’s fucked enough hot line cooks in his time that he should know better than to fall into the trap, but still, he finds himself drawn in, entertaining Eddie’s endless teasing and prodding and poking until he starts doing it back – little digs about his shift meal, questions about a menu item that he already knows the answer to.

“Dude,” Robin says, halfway through his first month.

It’s rounding up on Christmas, and the place is packed, corporate groups out for holiday parties and couples on dates.

“If you don’t stop flirting, I’m going to cut your fucking dick off,” she says. “Seriously.”

And – okay. That’s fair.

Steve pulls himself away from where he’d been leaning over the pass, asking Eddie a question about the catch of the day that he’s already asked three times tonight. Clears his throat and straightens up. He tugs his tie back into place, claims the braised oxtail that’s destined for Table Two and clears his throat.

“Sorry.”

Eddie sends him a wink, and Steve feels himself flush.

“Please tell me you’re not going to fuck him,” Robin says as they exit the kitchen.

Steve sighs. “I’m not going to fuck him.”

---

And of course, he’s lying through his teeth.

The very next night, they’re both off work, and he gets a text from an unfamiliar number, just –

hey sweetheart

Steve flushes as he stares down at his phone, scratching a hand back through his hair. He takes a breath.

Wonder who this could be , he texts back.

All he gets in response is a simple,

😇

---

Two hours later, he’s flat on his back in Eddie’s bed, clinging to his shoulders and whining as Eddie fucks him so hard he loses his breath, so hard he feels like his brain is rattling around in his skull. He digs his teeth into Eddie’s skin, ankles locked around his back and not even bothering to hold back the noises that Eddie’s punching out of his chest, just –

“Fuck,” he gasps, voice coming high in the back of his throat. “Holy shit, I –”

Eddie’s mouth runs up the column of his neck, hands trailing over his skin, nails dragging sharp lines down his sides.

“You going to come for me, sweetheart?” he asks, voice low in his ear. “Show me how pretty you can be?”

And that’s – for some reason that sets Steve off, turns his skin over to fire as he grips tighter to Eddie’s shoulders, nails digging in, back arching off the bed, coming so hard he sees stars.

---

And then later, when they’re both fucked out and exhausted and Steve is preparing to take his cue to gather his clothes and make a graceful exit, he feels Eddie’s mouth skimming up the side of his neck, hand tangling in his hair, dragging him into another kiss.

A real one, with teeth and tongue and lips, a kiss that isn’t intended to go anywhere other than just to be , and his breath catches a little in his chest, hand skittering over Eddie’s back as he rolls over on top of him.

“Stay?” Eddie asks, voice quiet and hopeful and muffled where their mouths are still pressed together. He smiles, lips quirking up and drawing Steve along with him. “You know I know how to make breakfast.”

And Steve breathes out a quiet laugh, bumping their noses together. He sighs.

“As long as there’s bacon.”

[also on ao3]

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #steddieholidaydrabbles #my fic

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theshiftingwitch · 2 months ago

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Can you share about your Manifestations that made you realise that you manifested it and it was not just a co-incidence or something?

Also can you share a bit about your shifting experience, where you went, how long you stayed and any other stuff that you don't mind sharing?

BTW just came across your blog and loving it till now !!

1- manifesting success story:

My mother and her siblings inherited a house from my late grandfather that has been on the market for over 6 years. They have wanted to sell that house for years but no one was interested. I only discovered the law of assumption a year ago but really got into it this summer, so I decided to give it a try. And I assumed that the house has finally sold. A couple of days later they got their first buyer in 6 years. Unfortunately, the price they offered was not enough for everyone. But they thought that they had no other choice and they were going to sell it because it's already been so long. So I decided that it was sold for twice the price. I told my mother to tell her siblings to hold on and wait a little longer because they were going to get another buyer who was going to give them double the price of the first buyer. My mom wasn't convinced but she decided to play along because it's already been 6 years so what does she have to lose? Two weeks later they get a new buyer who offered them the exact amount I told her down to the pennies. They sold it immediately.

Now if that sounds like a coincidence to you, I really don't know what else to say.

2- my shifting experience:

Like most shifters, I discovered shifting through tiktok in 2020. I was immediately intrigued by the idea but decided not to try it because I thought that I was going to have to shift back one day and leave those lives behind and I was going to miss all of those people and I would rather not get my heart broken over several realities in several universes. It wasn't until November of 2021 that I finally decided to give it a try because I thought it was worth being happy even if it was for a short amount of time rather than stay in this reality and be miserable for the rest of my life. Of course by that time I was riddled with tiktok misinformation and made my journey a whole lot harder than it needed to be.

Then comes the summer, and I decided to use the law of assumption to try and shift. I made subliminals, I made Affirmation tapes, I assumed I was in my desired reality ( kept changing which reality I wanted because I had too many) and decided to just go with it.

A couple of weeks later, I took a nap, and I woke up in my better CR dr. I stayed there for 4 months, came back here and found out that only 4 hours had passed. That reality was similar to this one, except I was famous which is something I've always wanted to be. I decided to shift back here because I wanted to see if I would be stuck. Like I had said, I had a lot of misinformation rattling around in my brain, so I decided to see if there was any merit to the idea of getting stuck in another reality. Spoiler alert: there isn't. I wasn't stuck. I shifted back. And now I'm working to shift to my main realities which are purely "fictional".

The thing that stood out to me the most, and this is the thing that makes me irrationally angry with most shifters, is that when I shifted I didn't freak out. I didn't feel like I was having this out of body experience, I didn't feel like I finally made it, I didn't explode with joy when I saw the people in my life that I scripted to be there. It all felt very natural, very real, and very mundane. Like something I have been living my entire life. You don't wake up in your current reality and you scream for joy when you see your mom or your cat or your boyfriend, because you have been seeing them for months if not years if not your entire life. The entire thing felt very peaceful, and very natural. And it freaked me out when I came back because like I said I have been on tiktok for a long time and I kept seeing those shifters who had these povs and these scenarios about how they freaked out when they saw their significant others or were disoriented and dizzy when they woke up in another reality and they didn't know where they were and they almost blew their cover and everyone was like " are you okay? is everything okay ? what's happening to you? why are you so pale?"

Something else I had noticed is that I didn't carry my current reality self with me. And I talk about this a lot in my blog posts, but when I shifted, I didn't have this voice in the back of my brain narrating everything and relating it back to my current reality as if my awareness is somehow attached to this self. I wasn't thinking about "oh this is something happening because I scripted it" or "this is going exactly according to plan" or "I can't believe I finally made it and I can't wait to tell everyone back in my current reality about this experience"... I wasn't the me I left back in my current reality. I was completely and utterly the person I scripted, the person I was in my other reality. I thought like her, I felt her emotions, and they were completely different from the ones I had back in my current reality. And that makes perfect sense because like I said in another post, I wasn't cosplaying being a different person, I was that person. I was that version of myself. I have livef as that version of myself for years, I was just not aware of it. And when you become aware of a different version of yourself, you don't stand and observe back with the lens of your current reality self, you are totally immersed in that experience as your other version, you are not split into two where you are living as your desired reality self but your mind and your subconscious are operating like your current reality self. There is no divide. I was me in that reality, and the only reason I shifted back is because I was aware of the shift. It wasn't because I was aware of my current reality self, it was because I was aware that shifting was a thing. That was it.

I hope this all made sense and I hope it could help baby shifters and manifestors with they journey!

Happy manifesting ❤️

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pinkkop · 25 days ago

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2024 Tumblr Top 10

I felt left out of the tag game so here I am, standing in front of my fellow tumblr peeps, asking them to love me to listen to me ruminate about my top 10 posts from 2024 😊

1. Day 27: Top 3 15 BL Kisses? 570 notes - Nov 14 2024

I’d like to send a formal apology to @slonekaru for disrespecting their prompt!

This was day 27 of the 15 Day BL Challenge (don’t worry about the numbers in that sentence 😅) and the prompt actually asked for your 3 favourite BL kisses but I just kept thinking of more great kisses and in the end I settled on sharing 15, which was good because you’re only allowed 30 GIFs in a tumblr post and that is exactly how many GIFs the post has 🤯😅

I’m glad so many people enjoyed this compilation and agreed with me on these kisses being some good ones 😊

2. Dr. Kan is sitting on a Y Chair in a series Y 128 notes - Dec 15 2024

This was the most random little post but apparently people enjoyed learning this little tidbit of knowledge I had rattling around my brain. I will do my best to supply you with more random knowledge in 2025.

I am still waiting for my experience as someone who studied Civil Engineering to come in handy with all the BL boys studying engineering 😅

3. An Ode to the The Sign NC scene 106 notes - Jan 9 2024

This one straight up got me sent to horny jail but I persevered and found a way to bring this masterpiece of an NC scene to the masses with my running commentary. Another thing I aspire to be more often: Horny on Main™

4. Trash-watches and what do you do with your negative opinions? 93 notes - Jun 10 2024

This was sparked because of my frustration with people hate-watching shows. It frustrates me to no end when people are engaging with a piece of media entirely in bad faith and with the intent of criticizing it to hell and back with not much nice to say. It resulted in some interesting conversation about what is the best way to use tumblr when you have something negative to say or criticism of a piece of media.

I think my conclusion about this is that if you’re engaging with a piece of media in good faith and aren’t doing it just to hate on the show you should probably be fine but it’s always good to consider how the fans of the piece of media will feel when they come across your post or comment. And if in doubt maybe leave you’re negative opinions behind a cut and make sure people are warned about your approach, then people themselves can decide whether they want to see it or engage with it. I don’t think not tagging the posts is a good way to solve this but then again I’m also a big fan of tagging things properly.

At the end of the day just be kind and mindful of other people, and then just do what you feel is best.

5. Why do more people watch BL than GL? 39 notes - Mar 9 2024

Want a full essay on theories of why people watch more BL than GL?

Look no further!!!

It’s been 10 months since I wrote this and I’ve become more and more sure of my theories since then. Whenever I see someone talk about why they don’t get into GL much it always falls into one or more of these categories.

If I had all the time and resources in the world and was still in university I would legit make a research project out of this because I find it so fascinating.

6. What trope do you enjoy and wish to see more of? 37 notes - Nov 11 2024

This is day 24 of the 15 Days BL Challenge.

I’m just a sucker for some form of “hurt/traumatized character with low self-esteem who thinks they’re unlovable or damaged goods and then they’re proved wrong by their romantic interest".

One of these days I need to check how many of my favourite BLs fit into this category because I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s most of them.

7. Spare Me Your Mercy: Good but could’ve been amazing 34 notes - Dec 26 2024

I really liked this show and had so much fun watching it but I also had a lot of thoughts on what it could have done better if it had a longer runtime.

I honestly think I understated how much I liked the show in this post. I wish I’d spent more time talking about all the things I really like about this show but I still agree with the majority of the points I make in the post.

8. World of BL shout-out 31 notes - Dec 11 2024

This post is so short but is a very important PSA so let me just leave it here as well.

For anyone who’s struggling to figure out on which sites a BL is airing and whether it’s geolocked in certain regions:

World of BL usually has really good intel

9. What’s a hill you’re willing to die on when it comes to BL? 28 notes - Dec 16 2024

This was day 59 of the 15 Days BL Challenge (the numbers make less and less sense the higher you go).

My hill is a pretty simple one:

Actors don’t owe their fans anything!

10. What dramatic scene really stuck with you? 28 notes - Nov 30 2024

My final post is day 44 of the 15 Days BL Challenge and it’s about the scene where Sky's getting assaulted by his ex and Prapai comes to his rescue. It’s a really hard scene to watch but at least Gun gets beaten up at the end. Yay!

Created by TumblrTop10

Wish I could check if any of my mutuals haven’t been tagged in this yet because I definitely saw a lot of people do this tag game right around the new year. If we’re mutuals and you haven’t been tagged in this consider yourself tagged!!!

#tumblrtop10 #From these posts it's pretty clear what my main special interest is these days (more like years really)#Sof watches BL

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bluenotemagpie · 6 months ago

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so. I was going to wait another month or so before posting fic, so I could have more time to proofread & whatnot. but then. uh. I got impatient. and I wanted to share the fic that's been rattling around in my brain since 2010, now that I'm finally finished editing.

which is to say that you can now read chapters 1-7 of and the stars look down on AO3! chapters 1-6 were posted already, but they have been rewritten for some pacing/depth/etc. (as a friend of mine said, "oh, so far the main difference is that the preacher's base is shittier.") and the beginning of it has... shall we say, a different framing. but! chapter seven is brand new! chapter eight will come along sometime next week, and i'll keep an approximately weekly update schedule moving forward.

thank you to everybody who's read & left a kind word <3 it really meant a lot to me! in closing:

#my dw magnum opus #jake simmonds #mickey smith #doctor who fanfic

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cosmos-coma · 1 year ago

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The Curses That Bind Us- Part 1

A/N: GUESS WHOSE BACK. BACK AGAIN. It's ME. Hello everyone, I was away for a while with work and bad internet but I think I'm finally making a comeback! Still struggling a bit with work but I'm gonna try to make it happen! the first paragraph of this has been in my drafts for months now and I finally got an idea to finish it on Halloween!

Pairing: Eskel x Reader

Words: 465

Summary: You find yourself traversing a dark and deadly swamp, desperate to get back to the safety of town. You push on despite your nerves, but the hungry creatures of the night have a far different idea for your fate.

___________

Fetid, heavy air hung around you like fog as you rode carefully through the spongy marsh. The full moon hung delicately above the treetops, shining its merciful light in scattered rays to illuminate your path.

“Steady girl…” you spoke soothingly as you patted your mare, Vallaria, beneath you. Her nerves were evident as mysterious splashes, croaks, and snarls rang around in the hazy distance. “Just a little longer into safety, then we can both rest…” you assured both her and yourself.

Val huffed uneasily, voicing her displeasure, yet remained steadfast on her path. She didn’t dare stop her onward trek, let alone slow any further. Hoof beats squelched below as you waded into a deeper pool, the rotten water rising up your horse's legs and making your hair curl with its stench.

The sounds of rippling water hitting the shores echoed faintly around you, coming from both everywhere and nowhere. Hungry snarls and clacking teeth sounded from the shadows as you warily waded through and your hair began to stand on end.

Your nerves rattled as you looked around desperately in the dark, but beyond the pale white light was nothing but wretched darkness.

SPLASH

The noise came suddenly from beside you as if whatever invisible creature hunting you was toying with you for its own sadistic pleasure.

“Fuck.. ” your voice quaked as your nerves burned like cold fire in anticipation of the next movement, the next sound.

Out of nowhere a flicker of orange flame lit up in the distance, dancing brightly before settling into a controlled shape.

“I- Is that… a campfire..?” you mused as you pulled Vallaria to a stop, eyeing it closely.

“Val, it’s a campfire..!” You announced happily, the weight of the world lifting off your shoulders, “It’s a campfire..!”.

It was then that another huge splash came from your side, however, this one was accompanied by a scaly clawed hand wrapped around your ankle.

“Fuc- HELP!” You screamed out to whatever merciful creature may be sitting at the campfire, as your body was pulled beneath the murky water.

It all happened in a flash, the sound of the splash as your body hit, Vallaria braying in retaliation as more hands emerged, and the surface gradually disappearing above your head.

Hands upon hands grabbed your limbs, pulling you with inhuman strength away from the moon’s light. Each hand slipped with slimy scales, and had you not been on the verge of drowning you’d have shuddered at the sensation.

Between the depth and your air running low, your vision began to darken. Endless black crept into the corners of your vision, swimming across your eyes as you slowly lost consciousness.

Though as the black closed in… you could have almost sworn that you saw the glittering of moonlight on sharp slender metal.

_____

Taglist: @writingmysanity @novigrad--dreaming@madamemelancholysstuff@dark-academia-slut @beardedladyqueen

Want to be on a Taglist? Did my brain slip and I forgot to tag you/accidentally added you? DM me to let me know!

#I promise itll get to him in the next part #eskel my beloved #eskel x reader #eskel x you #eskel x y/n #witcher self insert #witcher fanfiction #eskel fic #eskel imagine #the Witcher #witcher imagine #eskel fanfiction

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pixeldotgamer · 6 months ago

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✨All My WIP Projects✨

Since the results of that Twitter poll I did show people REALLY wanna know what I'm working on, I figured I'd just announce/summarize most of the things I have in development right now!

This will be pretty long so it's getting tucked under a read more!

Don't Tell My Wife / DTMW (Game, Horror VN) Status: Active Development

DTMW is my entry for SuNoFes2024 on Itchio! Folks may actually recognize this one as I streamed some concept art a while back, and even posted some as well!

This game focuses on a Husband and Wife in the woods. Specifically, the Husband and something he's been trying to plan for a while. Now there's only one week left and his Wife has taken notice.

"You have one week to get your plans sorted. You thought you had more time than this. Don't let her find out."

---

Treacherous Flesh (Game, RPGMaker Horror) Status: Research & Writing

TF follows the story of Ila, a woman who contracts a deadly illness and must wait 8 months for treatment. The game follows her over that time as her symptoms worsen, and her body turns against her.

Like many of my projects, TF pulls from a personal feeling. This game is an outlet for my own ongoing health problems. I started working on this game after being told I had to wait 8 months for an ultrasound I need for diagnosis. It's month 4 of 8 now.

Probably the most outright depressing thing I'm working on, this game actually means a lot to me. This is an outlet, but I'm also hoping it resonates with people who may be going through what I am.

---

Dead Girl's Club (Game, VN) Status: Research & Writing

DGC follows a girl from a religious cult town tracking down the male "murderers" of girls from said town. The game is a very blatant look at the transmasc experience tackling themes of family, community, passing, more.

---

Computer Angel (Game, Point & Click/Interactive Fiction, Horror) Status: Concept Development

Computer Angel comes from my own fascination with the concept of "angels speaking to you through your screens" and such, whether for horror or comfort.

In CA, your aunt has just passed away suddenly and you end up with her computer. As you investigate the machine to use for yourself, you realize there's something in the computer. Something that would very much like to make your acquaintance.

With 3 narrative paths depending on your choices, I want CA to be a spooky and surreal little game! While the concept has been fleshed out, this one is on the back burner until I dedicate myself to learning GameMaker which is the engine I want to use.

---

Pop-Rock & Curly (Game, Point & Click) Status: Research & Writing

A brainchild of mine from 2019, where I said to myself "What if I made a detective/robber OCs but they're lesbians?" and then PR & C just. existed in my brain?

After just having them rattling around in my brain but never drawing them more than once, I decided to adapt them into a game! I've always had a love of P&C games, so it only makes sense I take a stab at one (Art from 2019)

The game follows detective Pop-Rock, who is personally requested by Curly to help as she rats out her no good boyfriend who has stolen a big flashy item. Using this as a chance to improve her reputation, PR ventures into the cities criminal underworld.

---

Juno Law (Game, VN) Status: Pre-Dev Done, Art Concepts Started

Juno is what I'd call my first "modern" game idea, the first game idea I can pinpoint where looking at it I could go "Wait this could actually be a game!" Basically a "what if I made an PWAA game" type deal

We got lawyers, punny names, gimmicky designs, and more! While not what I would call a fangame, Juno is meant to be my love letter to Ace Attorney that I started cooking up after playing the main 6 games. I actually was pursuing this as my first game!

Juno is a LARGE game. The biggest of anything even on this list in scale. Because of that, I've had it on the back burner since I finished the full game notes back a few years ago. The game is completely outlined! All characters, trials, plot lines, all of it!

I'm really passionate about Juno, but I knew I had to be honest with myself; This is just too much for my first game! My weakest skill, in my opinion, is my writing. So, starting out with massive narrative VN? Maybe not, haha. Someday though, I want to make it.

---

7. Cleopocha (Game, ???) Status: Concept Development

Cleopocha is about an android idol named Chapel, who starts dreaming of their past personas. It's a game largely about identity and asking what do we own those who came before us, especially when we don't remember them?

My current sticking point with Cleopocha is actually genre! The story I want to tell needs breathing room in a way a VN can't provide, but I'm unsure if an RPGMaker type game is quite right. What should the gameplay even be? Those kinda questions 🤔

---

A2amB (Podcast, Liminal Space Horror) Status: Research & Writing

I've had this fascination with doing some kind of story based podcast as far back as 2019, where the title A2amB comes from! The name is a placeholder from the idea I had way back then. (Art from 2019)

The story now is WAY different than the first concept. Salvaging characters and concepts from a MOTW campaign I was running, the podcast is now about a liminal space mall and the people stuck within it. (Art from Aug 2023)

Casey Day, local computer repairmen and burnout, gets dragged into the liminal mall and is stuck fumbling around trying to get out again. Besides twisting halls, a mannequin cult, and unpleasant personalities - Casey will also be haunted by his own issues.

I've been on a steady dev pace with A2amB, but I'm still figuring out what I want from the story, as well as how I want to deliver it. So currently I'm just locking down the pacing and themes in a way I find satisfying. I'll probably have to trim a lot of ideas..

---

And there's the bulk of what I'm working on! I need to refine my pitch process a bit, but I honestly just love gabbing about ideas!! I have no set release dates for these projects, they'll happen when they happen! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

#random rambles #this is basically a copy and paste of the twitter thread <3 enjoy these 8 project drops #dead girls club gets such a short blurb cause i forgot it in the OG thread beyond its name and stuff hdkhfd #anyway when i say im working on things this is what i mean jdhkjfhd #feel free to ask questions if your curious about stuff

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buldrokkastee · 2 years ago

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So I gotta ask, since you put the pairing in my brain

What are your thoughts on Andreana/Deepcolor?

Well you see it all started when I realized that Andreana and Deepcolor have both been completely left out of the ongoing ocean plotline (So far) despite both of them having pretty close ties to the Seaborn. It's understandable considering there are already a lot of moving parts going on there (and tbh if they ever do explore Andreana's whole deal I'd want it to be it's own contained story) but that doesn't mean I'm not going to sit here and rattle them around inside my head dreaming about the possibilities.

On one side we have Deepcolor, and I've only been able to read a summarized version of Deepcolor's operator record so far but from what I can see I imagine she might have something in common with miss 'A drop of ink into clear water' over there. Either antagonistic due to the differing origins of their experimentation, or sympathetic since Deepcolor seems to have a better understanding of what's going on between the two. On the other is miss Andreana 'Help I can't stop sleeping with The Horrors' lastname, who has noted experience dealing with difficult and eccentric people. I just think they're neat.

In my head it could go a few ways:

Andreana's Observation Journal: Extremely funny. Still some of my best work. Deepcolor's vibes are absolutely atrocious she's the most evil-coded person on this entire ship (no small feat), so it would only make sense that Andreana would be suspicious of her from the get-go. Especially if every time she gets close Andreana gets blasted with adrenaline from her hunter blood acting up.

On the reverse end consider this: Deepcolor is in an artistic slump, can't draw shit. Everything is terrible. Then one day while she's sitting in the convalescence garden trying to get some inspiration, she feels a tingle all the way up her spine, a drag on the back of her mind, and when she turns to look- There she is. Like a drop of ink in a clear pool. And that's how Deepcolor regained her muse (and procured a gf along the way).

The most intense, vitriolic, competitive Splatoon 3 rivalry on the face of the planet. Complete with meet-cute where neither party realizes this is the bitch with the Charger/Inkbrush they've been cussing out over voice chat for the past 6 months. (Kirara is kicking both their asses but that's to be expected)

#Thank you sorry for the wait I've been #BLASTING thru il siracusano #all day today #Anyway everyone please consider squid girls #that is all #On an unrelated note Operator Incandescence get your ASS out here

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wavetapper · 1 year ago

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6 15 23!

6:A song that makes you want to dance

Butterfly Twist - Yooh

youtube

ok probably cheating to include this but every time i hear it i just desperately wish i was at the one arcade with a drs cab because this is so fun its stupid (yes the lying down thing does work)

15:A song that is a cover by another artist

The Rat - Melted Bodies

youtube

I LVOE MELTED BODIES I LOVE MELTERD BODIES the heavier guitar in this works so fucking well i kinda prefer it over the original

23:A song that you think everybody should listen to

Pushing the Pink Envelope - The Callous Daoboys

youtube

absolute "say the line bart" moment but please they have a ghost hunter parody music video and everythiung this ep has been rattling around my brain like a marble for the past 3 months

#FINALLY GETING TO THESE THANKYOU

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vivianwrite · 1 year ago

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Monthly Writing Summary - October 2023

🫀 The Claws of the Ounce 🫀

Draft: 2

Word count: 19,576

Words added: 4,266

Current chapter: 6 out of 28

Snippet:

The man walked like a lion, fluid and graceful. He was a werelion, wasn’t he? Ash felt a prickle of simultaneous envy and unworthiness. What was a lowly leopard next to the king of beasts?

Notes:

Almost everything I did was Chapter 5.

Goal for November: Get to 25K / finish Part 1.

🦋 Forest in a Shadow Box 🦋

Draft: 1

Word count: 30,375

Words added: 3,270

Current chapter: 9 out of 25

Snippet:

The grass turned mahogany in his shadow. He watched the ground fly past, all the little details blurred and blurring more. The wind ruffled his blond hair with its strong fingers.

Notes:

Almost finished Chapter 9. Almost.

Goal for November: Actually get to 35K this time.

🧤 The Gift of Gloves 🧤

Draft: 2

Word count: 3,020

Words added: 130 🙁

Current chapter: Still 1 out of 9 ☹️

Snippet:

Sometimes it seemed like everyone was just counting the days until the zetins started to fall from their trees. Honestly, Taigex was too.

Notes:

Really got stuck on this one.

Goal for November: Get to 7K.

…Wait. There’s one more!

🌇 Secret (but not for much longer) WIP 🌇

Draft: 1

Word count / Words added: 1,305

Current chapter: 1 out of 32

Notes:

This is a story that has been rattling around my brain for a good while. I finally started it on the 3rd.

I haven’t posted anything about the characters or setting yet, and I’m a bit nervous to start…

Sort of my Nano project, I guess.

Goal for November: Try to work on it every day and see where that gets me. Ideally I would get to 15 or 20K, but let’s be realistic, that’s not happening under my current circumstances.

Overall

I didn’t get to do much this month. Next month will probably also be the same, but I still want to try to set some goals / try to challenge myself. At least I finally pitched A Summer with the Immortal, and started 🌇 WIP!

#Monthly Writing Summary #The Claws of the Ounce #Verdantland Trilogy #Forest in a Shadow Box #The Gift of Gloves #The Mysteries of the Apricot Sun

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earraigh · 2 years ago

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lately the annie dillard quote "how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives" has been rattling around in my brain and i'm really wanting to take a prolonged social media break like minimum 6 months and rewire my brain.

well just instagram really. I can check in on tumblr every few weeks it's not as mind numbing or addictive.

i'm so tired of coming home from work and just scrolling with no productive or positive thoughts. i can feel my concentration for everything whittling away because of how i've become so used to being entertained by videos under a minute and even tho i send them to my friends and vice versa and we have a giggle over them it just isn't worth it. i feel like i'm spending my life looking at a tiny screen just becoming more anxious and angry and tired and i don't do enough of the things i really want to do and i don't want to look back in regret because of it.

lying in bed trying to sleep but i keep thinking about how im spending my time and my life so i feel like in putting it out here it will help keep me accountable when i actually make the move to do it in a few weeks.

#i want to write and read and do yoga and mediate and watch beautiful things and experience it all so mindfully #and i cannot do that when everything is happening all the time in this handheld digital window #the temptation to take a leaf from my Dad's book and get a Nokia from the early 2000s

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king-of-kaoss · 3 months ago

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last song: Back to Oz - Sufjan Stevens & Angelo de Augustine

favorite color: deep sky blue (post sunset glow), and pourple ouo

last book: im literally still reading 5th elephant for like several months. and i cracked open the silm for like half the foreword. my attention span for reading paper books is so bad currently i need to retrain it and take more phone breaks. reading plenty of fic tho cause blorbos go brrr. if i had focus i could literally read either of those in a day or two but brain broken

last movie: i think ponyo got put on last time i did laundry at a friend's place. ive mostly been watching series lately

last tv show: ayyy so i watched dungeon meshi a bit ago, and blue eye samurai, and dandadan which is still airing caught my interest as i closed out of those on netflix. im also watching bleach but mostly for nostalgia/fond completion reasons as im not super interested in it (it and its characters just pale next to one piece for me) before that i rewatched the untamed. and i picked my one piece gifmaking rewatch back up, im just about to the end of skypeia on that

sweet/spicy/savoury: savoury 😋

relationship status: i have like 3 whole friends now and i can sometimes actually feel like that's true and real, neat

last thing i googled: how to use a cargo strap. (i just strapped a mattress to my car to drive it home ayy)

current obsession: one piece was kinda starting to cool off cause no new luffy screen time for a couple months and then fan letter rekindled it so im right back on my bullshit c: . i also had the dandadan opening song (otonoke by creepy nuts) on loop for 3 days straight (it's 3 min).

looking forward to: i ordered myself a Treat alongside new wooden toothbrushes and a replacement computer fan cause my current one of 7 yrs has to be manually turned to start itself and is rattling crazy loud. the treat is zoro's swords made of wood. i cant wait to take them hiking in the middle of the night when no one is around to swing them around or something. im also looking forward to hanging out w my best friend tomorrow we made a date cause our schedules are mismatched and we busy lately. i am looking forward to sleeping in my new bed tonight. hope it last tho. it's a very thin iron frame and a box spring that *has* to be pine based with how light it is. like is my 300 lb ass is gonna wreck this within 6 months? who knows. anyway im gonna not worry abt it and try to see if it comfy and good for my back! im p sure it's un upgrade but change is scary so i cant tell yet.

ten people i'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @daddy-long-legssss and @yellowloid, thank you! 🥰💖

last song: Billie Eilish - Blue

favourite colour: Can never decide between red, blue or purple. Though certain musicians over the past couple of years have instilled a fondness for green in me 😅💚

last book: Have had a bit of a reading slump lately but I re-read 'Song of Achilles' by Madelline Miller and devoured it in a day. I'm currently on annual leave so I'm hopeful that I'll be able to dig into some books on my to-read list, and I've promised myself that I'll start the Lord of the Rings series before the end of the year... In terms of reading fic, I recently read and adored 'Four Walls' by the lovely @uhbasicallyjustmilex 💖

last movie: Saw both The Wild Robot and The Substance at the cinema this week, which were very different movies but I highly loved them both. I suspect I'll be thinking about the latter for a long time.

last TV show: I've been rewatching episodes of Taskmaster in between working on my fic, specifically series 12 as I have a massive crush on Victoria Coren-Mitchell 😅

sweet/spicy/savoury: Spicy, very closely followed by sweet.

relationship status: Happily single, though my best friend did declare us 'platonic soulmates' the other day and proposed buying a house together in Edinburgh 😂 Alas, having looked through Rightmove, we've agreed that moving to Edinburgh is in neither of our financial interests...

last thing I googled: Noyant-la-Gravoyère, for fic-related reasons.

current obsessions: Feel like I've ended up with a ton of mini-obsessions this year as opposed to one major one, but Fontaines D.C. and The Last Dinner Party are fairly high up that list as they've released my favourite albums of the year 💚 I've had a lot of fun digging into the works of Gojira, Kendrick Lamar and Leonard Cohen lately, and Billie Eilish's latest album remains on constant rotation. I've also had a reawakening of my love for David Gilmour, Käärijä and TLSP due to a combination of two amazing gigs and the process of writing my fic.

looking forward to: I have a few gigs coming up which I'm really excited for, including Bob Vylan next week, Kneecap next month and Fontaines D.C. in December 💚 I'm also excited to make more progress on editing my fic and finally unleashing it into the world, even though it's only in that pesky early draft stage for the moment 😅

tagging: @rock-n-roll-fantasy, @aeolianblues, @see-sawed, @thespiritofvexation, @king-of-kaoss, @burn-on-the-flame and @chrysochromulina 💖

#i am noT up for reformatting the topics in bold on mobile i do apologise #tagging whoever wants to do it

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acrolius · 2 years ago

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someone please write my steve as djo au!!

it's just rattling around in my brain and it won't leave. just two hyperfixations smashed together

here we go:

the early 90s (about 6 years after the events of season 4) finds steve living in chicago. steve is the last one to leave hawkins. the kids graduate from high school and they, along with nancy and robin, leave the small, traumatized town for college, cities or states away. without the party, there is nothing left in hawkins for steve except a lousy minimum wage job and an empty house that his parents never visit. joyce and hopper moving is what finally gets him to let go.

the nightmares and the anxieties never fully leave him, even after he has left their birthplace. the interdimensional threats may be gone but the scars they left remain jagged and raw. will can't walk alone in the dark, max can't walk at all, and steve pulls away from everyone who tries to help. he sees the kids every few months and talks with dustin on the phone every week. he hasn't seen eddie since eddie left town just months after the dust settled.

in his grief, he finds music. it's something a therapist suggests, to externalize his thoughts and let them live elsewhere. if it worked for for eddie, why can't it work for him? his parents forced him to learn piano as a child, another box to check in their picture perfect family, but he hasn't played for himself in years. he finds a keyboard at a thrift store a few days later. it's scratched up and some of the keys are sticky, but it's all he can afford with his meager salary. his parents cut him off years ago, with harsh words and a slap to the face of their disappointment of a son. as his fingers brush over the plastic keys, he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. he closes his eyes and plays.

he likes the lyricism of music, once the words leave his head, they don't just belong to him. steve the musician feels different from steve the local bookseller with ptsd and a scrungly cat. hawkins was a small town, but no one knows him in chicago. the anonymity feels freeing. he can be honest because no one is watching.

he writes "chateau" about the calm that was the summer after vecna was defeated. they were finally safe and it felt like he had an actual family for once in his life. but like everything else in his life, it didn't last. eddie was the first to leave. steve had already fallen head over heels for eddie, but now he couldn't tell him. eddie would never be happy in hawkins and steve just couldn't leave. in a choice between his happiness and eddies, he would pick eddie's every time. they were never super close, but with the distance they drift apart.

robin, after listening to him every day in their shared apartment, tricks him into performing live for the first time. she signs him up for an open mic night at a local bar and lets him know by slamming the flier down on their wobbly kitchen table. "do you have plans for friday night? yes? cancel them."

friday nights at the bar becomes steve's night. none of his friends except robin know about his music but the bar regulars greet him with kind smiles each week. it's refreshing to play for strangers, people who don't know who he is and what he's been through.

his anonymity comes to a halt one week when eddie, fellow resident of chicago, happens to choose a new bar to visit. steve is at the keyboard, turned away from the entrance, when eddie walks in for a beer. it's not what eddie normally listens to but he's drawn to the emotion and beauty in the man's voice. imagine his surprise when the man finally turns and it's steve harrington.

. . . then you know, they reconnect, eddie slowly falls in love with steve in return and they live their gay little lives together

anyway, this is all the result of a long speech to text note on my phone. i have listened to djo's music on repeat and have djo!steve hcs for nearly all of them

#djo!steve #joe kerry is all around fantastic #musician!steve harrington #steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #will byers #max mayfield uses a wheelchair #max mayfield #im so sorry this is long i couldnt find the continue reading separator

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xalphacentauri · 3 years ago

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His Fantasy- Yandere Shigaraki x Reader

*TW* Stockholm syndrome/ Questionable consent/ Shiggy being creepy/ C*rsing/ Tr*uma/ Kidn*pping/ Bl*od/ Fire/ Violenc* Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Chapter 4 Loose Ends Words: 2,034

It’s been hours and I’m still bound to this chair. I’ve thought of 3 different ways to escape but will I attempt any of them? Absolutely not. If I move or even loosen these ropes I’ll be putting everyone I know at risk. I think back to the vicious look in his eyes as he threatened everyone I love. An icy chill runs down my back. His personality changes so quickly just like a child. I’ve accepted my fate. For what seems like the 100th time I look down at the ropes. My arms are a bit discolored from the lack of bl*od flow and I’ve lost feeling in my legs. I try to take a deep breath but it just comes out a shallow sigh.

Most of the fear that was built up has fizzled away, a sinking feeling replacing it. I know it might seem irrational but I’m surprisingly calm. I realized the questions that have been eating away at me for the past three months have finally been answered. I think I would have rather been crazy though. I’m lucky he hasn’t killed me yet but he clearly has some sort of obsession so I can use that to my advantage. I’m willing to play along until someone realizes I’m missing, then I’ll be saved and I can go home. Hopefully.

I hear heavy footsteps approaching and straighten up. A lock rattles followed by the creaking of the door. Vermilion eyes peek through a white dead hand, looking me up and down. His tall form lumbers into the room, feet shuffling on the concrete. His voice is a bit muffled, but just as deep and ghostly as before.

“Ahh, you’ve stayed put? Good” His eyes crinkle as he smiles under the hand

Seeing him again reawakens some of the fear. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say so I just nod. He appraises me once more before walking to the table to put the disembodied hand down. He traces the wood on the table with his fingertips looking over his shoulder to me. The blood from his forehead has been wiped away leaving a small amount of dried blood smeared along his hairline. His eyes are guarded but giddy.

“You know, ever since that night I knew I wanted you.” He says with a small smile

I try to remember when I first saw him but nothing comes to mind. The sightings started as an inside joke with myself, that I was going crazy or I needed to get more sleep.

“W-when was that?” I ask

“You don’t remember?” He asks in fake shock, raising an eyebrow

“Take a guess”

I rack my brain for anything but nothing comes to mind. He stares, his expression becoming more serious.

“Think. It wasn’t that long ago, was it?” He whispers

“I don’t know” I answer honestly

His brow furrows as he stares harder, almost as if he was trying to communicate telepathically. He moves his hands around a little for exaggeration.

“C’mon, it was a bright warm night. Plenty of music too” He says with a wicked grin

“Bright warm night? I- I don’t kn-” I stop and feel my expression go flat as I process what he meant.

His smile and eyes grow wider.

“HAH! You DO remember!”

The fire. That was the league. They lit the fire three months ago.

“I heard your screams and came to watch another hero suffer, but then I saw your face. Your beautiful face, distorted by agony. The pain and terror was almost tangible.” He was coming closer to me, talking faster by the second

“You screamed yourself raw but no one was there to help. I saw the pure fear in your eyes turn to resolve. I was watching someone realize how flawed hero society is. I was watching you be reborn. I could feel your pain. I understand!! Don’t you realize I understand?”

He crouched directly in front of me and placed four fingers on both my cheeks, forcing me to look at him.

“I can help you! I can show you more, show you what heroes really do. I’ll show you how they destroy everything they touch and the people THANK THEM FOR IT!”

His gaze swept across my face looking for any emotion but I don’t have much left to give. I don’t understand what he’s saying. I can hear him but it’s not making much sense.

“Well?” He asks expectantly

“Why?” Is the only response that I can give, my voice weak and raw

He stares deeper into my eyes, debating whether league information can be given away. A tear drips down my cheek and rolls over his fingers. He watches the tears progress as he furrows his brows.

“It was just business, tying up some loose ends.” He answers seriously, rolling his fingers to feel the dampness of my teardrop

“It’s not that important, maybe I’ll tell you someday if you’re good.”

I must be in shock. He was the reason for everything. Everything bad that has happened to me is his fault. But why didn’t more heroes come to help, they could have saved those people . What am I saying… Why did he have to kill them?

“I don’t understand, why did you…”

“Well Dabi was supposed to just kill the one family, accidents happen” He shrugs as if that made it any better

“W-what loose ends?”

“I told you, I’ll tell you soon. Right now’s not the ti-”

His phone began buzzing. He let out a heavy sigh and stood up, digging around for his phone. He roughly pulled his cell out of his pocket, careful never to touch it with all five fingers. Deeply scowling and briefly looking at the screen he swiped his phone and accepted the call, beginning to pace back and forth.

“What?!” He snapped

“Yes I know It’s happening soon, have Dabi meet him in the usual spot to go over the plan.”

I couldn’t hear the voice on the other line but I could see Shigaraki getting more and more irritated.

“If he is a liability then we kill him. I’m not afraid of an inexperienced hero. Prep the nomu and have Dabi meet him tonight. Like I said, we have everything planned already and we have no room for error.”

Shigaraki stopped his pacing, scuffing against the flooring and balled his fists.

“I’ll get him. He’s been on my last nerve since we recruited him”

Ending the phone call, he looked to me

“I’ll be back soon. I’ll even take you out of the ropes to eat something, we just have a little problem.”

I watched as he stomped his way to the table to retrieve the hand, muttering incoherently under his breath

“F*cking conceited as*hole” he whispered to himself

Placing the hand on his face once more he looked over his shoulder towards me then walked out the door, locking it after it closed.

I sat in the silence, shocked. Why does it have to be me? I’m torn between the nothingness that’s begging to consume me and the fresh sadness that aches to be expressed. How could one person hold so much evil and blood lust in their heart. What caused Tomura Shigaraki to become who he is today? My mind is overwhelmed with emotion and I ultimately choose to shut down. I’m so exhausted from everything. Nothing feels real. I shut my eyes and feel the nothingness absorb me, dragging me into a dark empty sleep.

I hear the rustling of a bag in the distance and feel something rubbing my arm. Am I awake or am I dreaming? I open my eyes in a daze, seeing shigaraki with gentle eyes a foot away from me, rubbing my arm and slightly shaking me. He had a warm smile which looks odd in contrast to his scars, scratches and heavy bags.

“Hi sleepy” he coos

I look around again, my surroundings are the same but I feel different. I look towards his hand which has moved to my shoulder, stroking my upper arm. There are no ropes constraining me. I jolt and look to Shigaraki.

“The ropes?” I ask

“You’re not going anywhere, I think you understand what will happen if you do” he says matter of factly

“Here, I got this for you, I know it’s your favorite” he says, reaching into the bag and settling himself down in front of me

He pulls out the most delicious smelling food, I can’t even remember the last time I ate. My throat feels extra dry looking at the water bottle in the bag. He looks up to me and unscrews the cap, handing me the water. I take a small sip at first but wind up drinking the entire bottle, small dribbles of water leaking down my chin. Shigaraki’s gaze remains on me, immersed.

“Are you hungry?” He asks

I give a hesitant nod and look down at the food, my stomach feels like it’s eating itself. He hands me the takeout and carefully observes as I nearly swallow the entire plate.

“You should slow down” he says cocking his head to the side

I look down, a bit embarrassed but too hungry to comment. As I eat Shigaraki opens his mouth to say something but immediately closes it. I stop and stare. He looks away and begins to speak,

“They were yakuza” he says

I look at him puzzled and tilt my head a little.

“Akio Chisaki” he replies plainly

I choke as I attempt to swallow. Shigaraki gets up and begins to pat my back. I flinch a bit at his touch but there’s nothing I can do. He walks back to the bag as I cough and gets another water bottle, opening it for me once again. I drink deeply.

“Ch-Chisaki?” I ask

“You’re little friends uncle was the leader of a yakuza group.”

“No, I knew him, we were best friends since middle school”

Shigaraki huffs irritably

“You clearly didn’t know his family well enough. His uncle was a powerful villain.”

“Villain?” I ask

“Overhaul? Haven’t you heard of him?”

“Overhaul?! He was Akio’s uncle?” I whisper

“Yes, real annoying guy too. He stole one of the league member’s arms, so I took both of his.” He was smiling triumphantly at this memory

“An eye for an eye” He mutters

That’s why they burnt down the building. But Akio did nothing wrong. Why did he have to die? I look down at the ground as the pain returns.

“Why.. did you have to kill them all?” I ask quietly

Shigaraki looks to my plate

“It’s just tying up loose ends. We had to take out the bloodline, and wouldn’t want anyone seeking revenge.” He states plainly

I feel sick. I shift my weight uncomfortably, not knowing what to do with this information. Akio was kind. I remember going to his house to play video games, eating dinner with his family. I never knew they were so dangerous. But he was just a kid, he couldn’t have been involved in anything. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.

The leave of villains taking down other villains? That doesn’t make any sense. What is Shigaraki’s motive? I feel the plate of food disappear from my grip. He stuffs the food back into the bag and hands me a piece of hard candy.

“Thought you might like this” he says, getting up from his spot

Looking at the candy, it’s in a little strawberry wrapper. My grandma had these candies. Before I can process anything I feel a finger lift my chin.

“Stay put, don’t leave this room. I’m coming back with some things for you okay?”

I stare up at him, he’s leaving me untied?

“Remember what I said? If you try anything I will find you”

I feel the heat from his stare. I understand completely.

“O-okay” I whisper

His finger disappears and I look back down to the candy, playing with the wrapper. I’ll stay until someone comes for me. The longer I stay the more I find out. This is valuable information. I’ll be helping others by staying, right?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Authors note: HI! What do u think? I think its coming along pretty good. leave a like or smthing idk but thanks u for making it this far. I wrote this a long time ago but felt like uploading it here so it wasnt just collecting dust in my google docs. If you know me irl, no you dont, keep scrolling. Maybe ill keep writing it for funsies.

ALSO, Im using the * to sensor everything bc tumblr likes to shadowban posts

#shigaraki #bnha #mha #mha x reader #shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki

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sylvaridreams · 11 months ago

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snipping messages re: Alba at the end of EoD and leading into What Lies Beneath/What Lies Within/burning low (burning out & tiger tiger) and then after the end of that arc - I don't know if I'll ever get a chance/take the time to write any of this out for real so It's Goin Here. recommend reading at the link above First if you intend to at all bc obviously this is spoilers for it. here we gooooo:

at the very end of EoD he's very very fragile and vulnerable. I mean. He had Aurene in his brain and affecting him physically during that battle. Then she withdrew and it RATTLED HIM hard, like he was not coping well with that….. gaping hole where an elder dragon has been in his mind fully. he left feeling empty and just. Torn open exposed and VERY VERY LONELY And needed something to fill it in and not make him be all on his own in this vast open dark spot in his mind. I think he figured this out that he hated being alone in his head and. Kind of looked at his tiger. No, that's not possible… I don't know how to even do that…. (he'd never HAD soulbeast training. He was aware of their abilities, but….) looks at his tiger again and it lays its head on his shoulder. Well maybe I can just…. :grab2:

And ten minutes later his tiger is clawing its way back out and shits broken and Alba is bleeding and the tiger is snarling and growling and they're Both scared. What did he do, how did he do it so wrong. Neither of them LIKED that. His head aches. I think he tried it repeatedly. Kind of desperately, trying to fuse with a few things, different animals. Some took it better than others. by the time he tries the tiger again he has Ideas of how to work this power and handle it. And he feels like he needs it to Be the tiger, his one consistent pet since maguuma… And four hours later he's regaining conscious control of his body in the middle of Echovald. No idea how he got here. Who he encountered on the way. Blood on his face. Not his own. And this horrible taste of copper in his mouth. And he feels gross and sore and he has a migraine so bad he's seeing like auras around the few people he passes, but… he feels better too. Powerful. With this animal inside his head.

But he has to be careful. Show restraint, he learns how bad it hurts if he doesn't let the tiger out, so it's just. A couple hours here and there, of this RUSH of control and power that fills his mind. All these awesome super addictive happy chemicals in his brain! Then tiger gets hurt outside of his mind, bad, and he panics and just. Grabs and doesn't let go. You'll not die on MY watch. Which means he can't let the tiger out ever. This has to be a forever, permanent solution, because if he lets the animal go it dies. So they share control. The tiger hurts but it can live through his body. Alba hurts but he can survive, he can cope with this beast in his brain. And he's never certain what day it is, how long he's been out here. he thinks about a week. Maybe longer. And he should probably go home soon…

And then he gets a letter from Rama inviting everyone to sushi

Comes to the "party" and Rama and Gorrik are kind of like wow he lives! O_O same kind of tone as "well look who came out of his cave!" Rama takes him aside as they're saying goodbyes and is like "hey uh. Dude. What the fuck." :teensie: "what's wrong Rama" "Don't play dumb, where the hell have you been? You know how many letters and calls I've had asking me to track you down since you left? You can't just vanish for half a year and then show up looking like this and act like nothing happened, people were worried about you, man." Alba "🧍‍♂️ ah."

(Imagine 6 months of assuming the Commander is dead or being a cunt in his "I'm melting down and I want it to be everyone else's problem" kind of way and then the comms suddenly connects and Gorrik is like I just had dinner with Rama. And the Commander. And everyone at once is like HE'S ALIVE? and Gorrik is like yes but frankly he looks bad. 6 months and he's been aware and conscious for maybe 10 days of it. Tiger has been running wild. He's covered in cuts and bruises and sprains and his leggings all torn and his shoulder leaves are just wilting and lifeless. His foliage is the same. He just looks unwell. And he's become essentially a local Echovaldian cryptid. Weird guy who will attack monsters and gangsters on site)

(discord message snippets end here)

and then obviously things progress, everyone goes to the MINE to explore the mystery and figure it out and Alba is. weird and exhausted and twitchy and off putting the whole time. events of the fic above take place, and afterwards Canach takes Alba back with him to the Isle of Reflection, where he has kept a house since the guild captured it and Meisi FOOLISHLY offered "if anyone wants to lay claim on a house here," and FAILED TO CLARIFY that he didn't mean "and Canach too." (Joke. they hate one another but it's a mutual joke.)

And it's a slow... not so steady... one step foward, 3-10 steps back at times, attempt to rehabilitate Alba. Because the tiger is by then OUT of his brain and gone somewhere safe to recover. he lets it go (not out of want, not out of lack of trying, but because they force him.) and at times he's completely lucid, able to hold conversation. exhausted, but himself. he's.... okay.

and then at times it's like the switch flips, and some kind of beast is back in his brain. Canach doesn't say a thing about it for a while, cleans up whatever broken filthy mess he's created, repairs the paper doors, the walls, bandages him up. whatever it takes for Alba to get back to his baseline. maybe it just takes time. maybe he HAS to knock expensive antiques off of tables to get back to normal.

and then one night he wakes up and Alba's not in bed. and there are noises in the kitchen, snarling, growling. his instinct is not fear (he'll be fine, he can defend himself, Auru can defend himself too) but worry for Alba, that he might be doing something that'll hurt him-- so he tells Auruim to stay in bed, he'll be right back, grabs his sword and makes for the kitchen. finds Alba naked on all fours, tearing into the last of four raw chicken breasts that were in the jade fridge, eyes wild and not there. not Alba at all. and he kind of just stands there in shock, watching him choke down the meat, until Auruim tries to sleepily approach, asking what's going on, and he has to act. go back to bed, don't worry, he's just sick. go to bed. gets his comms device and stares at it for a long moment, listening to Alba snarl and lick whatever is left off the plates and finally calls someone. "Meisi. I need your help." "....Do you know what time it is?" "it's Alba. he's. not well."

and shit has been SO rocky between Alba and Meisi since... basically since Meisi came back from the Mists... Their relationship never recovered, never got back to the baseline where it was before Meisi died. They were never best friends or brothers again.

5 paragraph side note on what I mean by this:

[(a huge part of this being Alba sustains a major head injury at the end of LWS3 and suffers amnesia for a while. doesn't REMEMBER anyone, doesn't know who Meisi is, so when he shows up a week later Alba's reaction isn't to cry and hold onto him and let it all out and REUNITE, it's to say "hello! good to see you again." he fully did not know who this asura was or why he'd been gone or why it mattered. Canach yanked Meisi aside and tried to explain, "hey here's the situation with the commander, head injury and amnesia, it's him not you DON'T take it personally. he's trying." and it was like this for every person, reintroducing him to allies multiple times a day sometimes until his brain started to recover, by which point (as memories started to click back into place) he assumed (had to, he didn't remember that time period where he'd been injured) that he had already DEALT with all that stuff. Meisi's back! well I'm certain we fully reunited and I invited him to the guild and he joined. :) YAY!)

but FRANKLY, Alba also recoiled from people for a long while. he has some longstanding "ok he's always kind of dodged that kind of closeness" issues (see: hiding injuries, not allowing any friends close enough to know he's disabled and how badly it's fucking up how he lives) but at the end of LWS4 he hid. he vanished and stopped answering letters, turned his comms fully off for months, (and only let it be on after a while because Taimi was able to remote in and forcibly bring it back online to talk to him, but he'd hang up if someone called and asked something he didn't want them to) and he went and found a spot to pitch a tent in the middle of nowhere and HIDE. he had a lot of sorrow and pain to sort through and told himself he could work it all out, out here, and then he kind of didn't do any of that. he avoided the work. typical. but where else would I go, he kept asking himself. nowhere felt like home, and he couldn't go back to the Grove. (it's fair to say that by the end of LWS4, he is soundless and would absolutely hate being called that. how repulsive, how could you say that about him, etc.) No one was able to locate him until 6 months after the end of LWS4 when Aeris showed up at his camp and told him (lying) "you're not that hard to track" as if she hadn't been actively hunting for him for over half that time. at that point people were WORRIED but also trying to respect that Alba seemed to want distance. he wanted loneliness. he did not want to be approached or found, so we left him out there.

and then through Icebrood Saga, and afterwards, everything was so rocky. most of the guild was like uh.... this could be the end of us, huh.... Meisi wasn't interested in rebuilding anything with Alba and at best, cold shouldered him throughout that arc. Braham broke Alba's spine at Dragonstorm and wrenched his bad leg out of socket, and frankly he was lucky to survive the battle, let alone walk again after back surgery. there wasn't a lot of in-group talking afterwards. everyone drifted. there was just way too much to try to bridge all at once. it was very much... "alright, i'll have my comms, call or write me if another dragon wakes up..." from every side. the guild.... took a break.

they're only both in Cantha at the same time because Alba crashed with the airship, and Meisi is there with Kasmeer for diplomatic reasons. Meisi is not Dragon's Watch and does not represent the guild. he can speak on behalf of them as an allied faction (Vigil) when Alba fails to convince Empress Ihn that he's capable (he's just woken up from another coma (how many more of THOSE do you have in you?) after crashing an airship into a closed country and being kept on life support for (weeks?) and then Rama made him go workout!!!!!! CRUEL!!!!! and frankly he is in a lot of pain!) but he isn't DW. he has never considered himself DW because Alba didn't invite him!

and I think we've determined that Alba apologizes at some point and tries to bridge this gap, like. I'm sorry that we never discussed this, the period of time when you came back from the Mists is so blank for me that I don't remember you returning, and I always thought that we HAD to have had all these conversations. I always assumed I'd invited you and you'd accepted, but people have told me that's not the case and I'm sorry. I wanted you in Dragon's Watch, I STILL want you in Dragon's Watch. You're my brother and I hate this feeling that we're not really allies to one another. I'm sorry. The offer stands, no matter how much time passes. (and then Meisi tries to say something, to take the offer or at least reply, and the communicator goes off like GUYS EMERGENCY HELP NOW RUN HURRY AAAAAAA and he loses the chance. and they never discuss it again! there's just no easy time to bring it up. eventually it felt weird to be like back to this convo! and then EoD wrapped up and that may have been a good time, but Alba DISAPPEARED.)]

but Meisi is Trying to give Alba a chance. Again. he needs help to recover so that he can even HAVE that chance, so he goes over in time to see Alba choke it all back up like a sick cat and faint, and is like ah. well. awesome. I see he's doing well. that's wonderful.

it basically. takes time. to get Alba back to Alba. because frankly he was backseat to a wild beast for half a year, and he didn't handle it well (although how well would anyone handle it, really.) there's got to be a lot of positive reinforcement... and negative. like hey! no treats unless you stop biting through the corner of the wall. Alba! no trea--I'm getting the squirt bottle. bad, bad Alba. and some days Canach has to let Meisi know, "he's outside and he thinks the bamboo grove is "his territory" again, so be careful if you head that way." and Meisi is like "no, I'm going to get the hose. I'll spray him." and Canach is like "you're going to make me deal with that. ugh. I'll get the bad towels out I guess." Alba is the YAMEROOOOOOOO wikihow coyote picture for a while until he starts relearning personhood.

and eventually he can get there again but I think there's... still some lingering issues? that Canach and Meisi are aware that he has. abnormal behavior. And Canach doesn't want him around anything he can fuse with, pets, mounts, any animal he can potentially take into his mind to go beastmode again. and the Isle is Meisi's skyscale reserve, so frankly that's not like... possible. there'll be animals. it's a matter of monitoring Alba to ensure he doesn't try to fill that slowly healing tear in his mind again. he knows how to do it and they can't force him to forget it, they can't make him unlearn that ability, but the hope is that if we keep an eye on him for long enough and keep him isolated from his pets, his mounts, he'll forget it naturally, and the empty spot in his mind will heal and he eventually won't even NEED to do it.

but frankly the SotO folks don't necessarily know allllll of that, or rather don't really care a lot about whatever progress Canach and Meisi had made on Alba's mental state by the time SotO started and he got "unwillingly" scooped up into another adventure. so they're likely handing him pets and mounts immediately like here use these in battle or to get around we don't caaaare.

anyway that's my long winding essay about alba before and after burning low. :) my little freak of a man is out here rotating wild cats in his mind and unlocking unlimited power forever because he misses his dragon baby so so so so so so so soooooooooooo muuuuuch!

Burning Low (on ao3)

hiiiii I'm finally posting a bunch of my finished stuff :) here's my "get worse" remix of What Lies Within in which Alba..........gets worse.

#my writing #loreposting #alba #canach #meisi

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