#eskel fanfiction

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Witchers + someone making their s/o uncomfortable

summary: what if the witchers saw someone making their s/o uncomfortable at a bar?

warnings: unwanted flirting/attention, the witchers doing their thing (slight physical violence), written with afab!reader in mind, technically gender-neutral though :)

tagged: @majesticwren @obsessiveformiyatwins @levithestripper @cookielovesbook-akie @lu-in-the-library @sunndust @ghostcatwhiskers (hmu to be added/removed to any taglist)

masterlist | based on this request

Geralt

Bros the standing guy emoji

Except that he’s so so menacing. He’ll just kind of cast a shadow over the person that’s making you uncomfortable

And you best expect that person to scurry back into their hole

“We’re leaving.”

Scolds the barkeep like a little kid

Definitely tries to reassure you by wildly making death threats about anyone who’s ever been slightly negative towards you

Eskel

Eskel makes it very clear that you’re with him, and being a Witcher, that’s usually enough

He puts an arm around your waist/shoulder, and challenges whoever is making you uncomfortable to continue talking

Usually, they leave pretty quickly

If they do not get the memo, best believe that Eskel will make them understand

Happy to use threats in order to protect you

Lambert

Lambert may not be as quick to notice as Geralt or Eskel, as he’s probably busy getting into a brawl

But as soon as he does, he abandons his current fight to start a new one with whoever is making you uncomfortable

He’s a witcher, not a diplomat, no words necessary

You best believe drunk creeps leave you alone for the rest of the night

(unless they have a deathwish)

Coen

Coen is quiet and patient, and so is his approach

When he notices something is wrong, he takes the creep by the shoulder and walks them away from you

Exchanges some friendly, pointed words (read: threats) that have the creep’s knees shaking for sure

They leave pale as a ghost, and you’ll never get a word out of Coen. You don’t need to hear all that

[cosmos-coma]

I know I’m late, but may I request 16 or 30 from the Valentine’s prompts with Eskel, if you’re still taking requests? Thank you 💕 Your writing is the best!

La-Vide

The Need to Get Away

A/N: OF COURSE I CAN, ANYTHING FOR YOU. And you don’t even have to ask, because the only Eskel I write for is game Eskel :) (and hopefully some book Eskel as I read through more). Sorry this took so long! It’s been a WEEK, but I really appreciate the love.

Pairing: Eskel x Reader

Words: 2398

Warning: none! Just some fluff! (oh and absolutely CHAOTIC sibling energy)

Witcher Masterlist

Consider buying me a Ko-fi?

__________

It was nearing the end of winter, teetering on the edge of spring and the holiday of love was right around the corner. Most years Eskel wouldn’t bother to celebrate- the path was ever lonely and if company happened to be found, they barely stayed beyond the night. 

But this year was different.

This year it wasn’t a mocking reminder of his isolating work, But rather a reminder that against all odds, somehow he found you.

When he first met you, you had been a radiant hearth in a house he didn’t even realize had gone dark and cold. No matter the day he had you always smiled and laughed when he came back to you with sticks and monster bits in his hair. You’d pick them out, ask him how his contract was, and spend all night in his tender embrace.

You made him feel normal, and for that, he wanted to give you something special- something he felt was worthy of the love he felt he had so unjustly received. 

First, he tried the library. 

He had set everything up perfectly; the fireplace crackled with the warmth of life, the fragrant petals of your favorite flower lay scattered around the stacks, and the warmest blanket in the entire keep was placed over your favorite loveseat. 

He pulled out a stack of your favorite stories and even a few new ones he’d snagged in town before the bitter cold came. He figured you two could have a relaxing morning side by side in the library before you continued on to the rest of his plans.

… unfortunately, it didn’t last for long.

“Eskel, my love, did you do all of this for us?” You grinned as you opened the heavy wooden door. The pleasant smell of fresh flowers and old books swirled around you, its soothing scent enveloping you along with the warmth coming from the room's large hearth. 

“I thought we could start with a quiet morning…” he said as he took your hand and led you to your seat where there was already a steaming mug just for you.

Your grin was so sweet and genuinely excited that even now, Eskel still lost his breath at the sight of it.

You settled down in your favorite loveseat, your legs thrown over Eskel’s lap as per usual as you settled in. 

It seemed like the perfect way to start the day, book in your lap, mug in your hand, until-

BOOM

You nearly jumped 3 feet in the air when you heard the rumbling explosion beneath you, causing you to spill the contents of your mug into your lap and book.

“Ah!! Hot! Hot!” You shouted as you jumped up to your feet, dropping everything to the floor as you desperately tried to fan yourself. 

Eskel wasted no time jumping up either, trying to pat dry your clothes and blow on them, but there was only so much he could do. Soon enough, thankfully, the entire room let out a relieved sigh as your clothes had finally cooled down, now just leaving you with a soaked, cold lap.

“Well this… could be worse,” you tried to stay positive as you looked at Eskel with a small smile “But What on earth was that? It sounded like it was right below us” 

Eskel sighed, sitting back down as he watched you go stand near the fire to dry your clothes, “it probably came from the alchemy lab… it’s right below us but I don’t know who would be-“

BOOM

A smaller explosion went off. 

“I meant to do that!” You heard Lambert’s voice yell as bits of rock crumbled and fell from the ceiling.

Eskel sighed, “I really should have guessed… It seems he chose today of all days to test his volatile substances…” 

“‘Volatile substances’? You mean—“

BOOM

“Oh, THAT'S NEW” Lambert's voice shouted, a mix of excitement and concern…but mostly excitement.

“Bombs.” Eskel finished for you, “precisely.”

“Right…” you said quietly, seeming to be in thought as you  nodded and fanned your clothes before the fire, “… should we not be here?”

“No probably not…” 

Next, he tried the courtyard.

It was warm for the end of winter and the sun hung happily in the clear sky. Though there were still some weeks of winter left, soft green buds mistakenly peeked out of the twigs and branches above you, giving hope of a soon-to-be spring. 

“So this morning didn’t go as planned, but I thought maybe we could spend some time with Lil Bleater?” Eskel suggested, carrying a small pack under his arm. The aforementioned noisy kid bleated up at her two-legged dad as she followed just half a step behind, urgently asking for everything from cuddles to treats to a sparring partner.

You laughed a bit and nodded, “of course… you know I can never get enough of her.” 

As if sensing his intentions Lil Bleater suddenly ran ahead, bouncing around a large tree jutting out of the courtyard. Its roots had pulled up pieces of the stone walkway its many, many years of watching over the keep, but maintained a little bowl that was perfect for sitting. Landing with as much flare as a goat can she turned back to Eskel, yelling at him to set up right here.

“There? That’s where you wanna be? Alright, you’re the boss, Bleater…” your beloved said with a warm smile, unfolding the small blanket with a satisfying fwoosh. 

The mountain of a man let out a sigh nearly as big as he was as he finally sat on the thin cushion of the blanket, “let’s try this again shall we..?” He offered, his notched lip tugging up at the corner as he reached out to you. 

Practically falling into his lap, you wasted no time before curling into his warm embrace, your head resting pleasantly against his shoulder as you tried to take in the peace of the morning once again. Lil Bleater was quick to follow suit, climbing into your lap and nibbling at your clothes until you finally scratched her just right. 

It seemed like everything was finally going right this time… that is until- 

Clang! Clang clang! Ding! 

Eskel groaned, his head knocking into yours as it hung in defeat again. He swore this day was testing him. 

Geralt and Vesemir came round the corner shortly after, swords clanging viciously as they sparred, their mentor holding nothing back as he came at him again and again. Metal on metal rang incessantly in your ears and even Lil Bleater had to protest the unending noise they made. 

“Baaaaah! “ she cried, pushing off of your lap in a rush as she ran swiftly in the opposite direction. 

“Um… “ you muttered as you watched them keep going, even going so far as to wave at you as they passed. You wanted to say something, but this was still not your home, not technically, and you didn’t want to overstep your bounds.

Eskel sighed, he was a very patient man, but it was wearing thinner with every aggressive clang of metal ringing against the stone walls, “Of course they have to do this now-- Come on… why don’t you go in for lunch?” He suggested, his smile much more tired now as he helped you up, “I’ll be in soon, okay? Hopefully, it’s quieter in the hall.”

And then… it was lunch…

Eskel was hard at work in the kitchen, willingly unbothered by the racquet of his brothers as he put the finishing touches on his meal. He had prepared most of it earlier that morning, having already planned ahead on sharing your favorite lunch. “Okay… it’s done,” Eskel mumbled to himself as he looked out the thin window, “and with any luck, my brothers will still be busy while we eat….” 

As Eskel brought out plates for the both of you, looking cautiously around the hall, he had to sigh in relief; his brothers were still out and about.Maybe he could finally have time for just the two of you.

 Thank any and every god that one of his activities was going right. 

Your smile was gentle and patient as he headed toward you, your whole expression graced with a wash of wonderfully stubborn love. Eskel nearly tripped on a raised tile, his eyes lost in yours instead on the path ahead of him, before quickly recovering his footing. 

“Careful there…,”. You warned with a laugh, “We wouldn’t want anything to happen to lunch after all the trouble you’ve gone through today.” 

Your Witcher huffed a small laugh, but refused to jinx it any further

However…

About four bites in the hair on the back of his neck began to rise. Something didn’t feel right. He stopped and looked around the hall. All was quiet, but something still nagged him.

Hm.. it’s not his Witcher senses bothering him, or his medallion would have gone off. No… what was bothering him was his sibling senses. 

Carefully he put his fork down, the gentle ding clear in his ears. He looked at you, innocent and unaware of what was yet to come, you were too engrossed in your meal to notice the danger looming all too close. 

“It’s too quiet-” he tried to warn, but it was too late. 

Almost as if it was planned, both Lambert and Geralt came in from different doors and their senses were set on Eskel’s premade food. 

“No, no, no, no..!” Eskel started to stand, yellow eyes flaring as Geralt slid in next to you, and Lambert next to him. 

“Oooh, smells good, whatcha got there big guy?” Lambert asked with a grin as he reached over onto Eskel’s plate, taking a bite of the meticulously made dish, “oh shit, this is good!”

Geralt looked over onto your plate, “Hm? Can I try some?” He asked, tone calm and deceivingly gentle, but Eskel knew his brothers. Lambert was brash and didn’t care about the consequences as he reached for what he wanted. Geralt on the other hand was calculated. As a child he learned quickly that he needed his approach to be smart if he was going to skirt the slaps and jabs Lambert got, so he’d stick his foot in the door. He’d ask to try some, complement the work, and then eventually get YOU to offer HIM part of your meal. Eskel had fallen for it many times.

“Oh, of course,” you smiled pleasantly as you offered him a fork, watching him take a politely small bite. 

“Oh it’s good, Eskel you made this?” Geralt complimented, the slightest smile on his lips as he met the blazing eyes of his closest brother. 

“I did…” Eskel gritted out, pushing Lambert away from his plate as he went to reach in again. 

“Huh, you’ve never cooked like this for us…” Geralt remarked, rubbing his ‘aching arms’ “mm, too bad my arms are so sore from training today to make myself something like this…” 

“Oh… well, would you like some more of mine? I’m sure there’s enough to go around.” You said, offering him a few more forkfuls. 

Geralt grinned pointedly at his brother as he lifted his fork again, “Wow, Eskel… you must’ve brought home the most generous person on the continent….” 

You smiled at the compliment, but the pleasant expression quickly fell as Eskel stabbed his fork into the table, dangerously close to Lambert's reaching hand, and wordlessly walked away. His shoulders were tight and arched, like a threatened animal, and you weren’t sure if it was growling or muttering beneath his breath that you heard. 

“Eskel? My love, where are you going?” You asked as he turned the corner wordlessly. 

“Well,” Lambert said, scooting over into Eskel’s seat as he took his plate with a grin, “If he’s not going to finish it then I guess I should.”

All of this Chaos and turmoil had bubbled and stewed and now you hadn’t seen Eskel all afternoon. Sunset was just a few hours away and you were starting to get worried. 

“Where could he be..?” You mused to yourself as you pushed past the front doors.You had just stepped outside to look for him once again when you heard a familiar, yet excited sound. 

“Bahhhh!” Lil Bleater yelled as she ran toward you, her gait quick and determined as she trampled a path straight toward you. 

“Hey, kiddo. Have you- wait, what’s this?” You asked as you quickly snatched the note she was chewing away. 

‘Meet me at the stables? Dress warm. -E’

You grinned as you saw Eskel’s neat handwriting scrawled across the simple note. With all the speed you could manage you rushed to get your warmest clothes on, a grin plastered on your face the entire time as you raced through the keep and down to the stables. What you weren’t expecting though was to see Scorpion saddled up, packed saddle bags bulging with various items. 

“Eskel..? What is this..?” You smiled, nearly out of breath as you slowed to a stop before the stead-fast stallion. “Are you going somewhere?” You asked, petting Scorpion’s dark muzzle as he leaned his nose in to sniff around your pockets.

“We are,” he smiled, looking at ease once again as he came to your side, “I’m sorry today was- sort of a disaster. I had all of these things planned and just… nothing seemed to go right,” he admitted. “But I think I found the perfect solution…. How do you feel about an impromptu road trip? There’s a little clearing up the side of the mountain that has the most amazing sunsets. 

There’s a big tree in the middle that’s perfect to sleep under, and after we eat dinner-” he knocked on a saddle bag, its noise clanking with the sound of a pot and its utensils, “then maybe we can make a fire and stargaze..?”

His large frame was uncharacteristically nervous, his gaze staring down at his rough hands as they came together in front of him. He hoped you’d be willing to try it all again, It hadn’t been a great start, but he was still determined to see it through for you. 

When he finally looked up from his hands the brightness of your toothy grin was contagious, Eskel’s own lips tugging up into a wide smile.

“Oh, my love… you had me at ‘road trip’.”

_________

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[askaalaska-vdeppressed]

Eskel Valentine's Oneshot

So uhhh, heres a oneshot. I had the Kids and Coffee dates version of Eskel in mind when i wrote but it's pretty much completely self conatined. Okay bye! (hides back in my hole)

Nothing could go right today. You were fairly sure this day was completely cursed. You leaned  on the counter looking at the trashed kitchen, head hung low. Powdered sugar coated both you and every dry surface. Sticky meringue-based batter coated many of your utensils and despite the not insignificant amount of vanilla extract you had spilled on the floor earlier you could still get wafts of smoke smell coming up from the basement.

Lets start from the beginning.

The shit had started that morning. You were lying in bed, trying your best to enjoy your morning before everything got started. It was Valentines day, and for once you actually had someone you really wanted to spend it with. Eskel and you had both agreed that you didn’t want to go out. Restaurants too crowded with people, and normal date spots much more likely to have unwanted company. So you decided on a nice dinner at your house. He was going to bring an entrée and you would provide sides and dessert. You had made all the sides in advance last night so you could tackle your main rival today: Macarons. You’d made the finicky cookies before, quite successfully- though for every success you’d probably had two failures. You’d known Eskel long enough now to know of his not so subtle love for sweets, and you kept your macaron making knowledge a secret to pull out for a special occasion to impress him.

This seemed the perfect opportunity, and your gentle giant of a boyfriend would be worth every frustration along the way.

Having hyped yourself up to start baking you got up out of bed, only to open the bedroom door and step out onto utterly freezing hardwood. Cold air blasted you in face and goosebumps instantly pebbled on your arms. Quickly grabbing a robe to wrap around yourself you padded over to the thermostat. It was set for 70 but it was only 58 in the house. Perking your head up you focused, trying to hear the tell tale rattling of the furnace from the air vents. Only silence greeted you.

The furnace was out, great. At it least it wasn’t projected to be too terribly cold today you thought as you went about morning chores, getting animals and yourself fed. Then it was on to tackling the heat issue. It was times like these you were grateful for having an old house, as in the basement across the room from the furnace was a wood stove. That could keep the house warm until you could get someone out to fix the heating. You went over to the pile of wood next to the stove kept for such emergencies and easily stacked and lit the wood in the stove. Satisfied as the flames eagerly licked the dry kindling, you closed the stove door and headed back up to start your work in the kitchen.

As you began looking for your scale and other ingredients you could smell smoke, a good indication that the fire was catching well and the house would be toasty again in no time. Then the smell got stronger… and stronger. You perked your head up from the recipe on your phone, peering out to look down the hall. The door leading to the basement had tendrils of smoke crawling out from underneath it. You threw your phone down on the table and dashed back down to the basement.

Smoke plumed out of the door as you flung it open, taking the stairs two at a time to get to the basement floor. As you looked through the smoke-filled haze you could see that nothing had caught on fire. Instead smoke was coming from the stove, flowing into the house instead of the chimney. As you reached the stove you experimentally touched the chimney, it was just as chilly as the floors upstairs, confirming your suspicions. It was plugged up. You searched around for something to put out the fire. A lone dehumidifier caught your eye from the back corner. Its indicator light, stating its bucket was full and needed to be emptied, having been ignored for quite some time. It was not ideal, as putting a ton of water on the flame could cause the stove to crack, but you really didn’t have any options. Rushing you grabbed the bucket out of the machine and opened the top of the stove, dumping its contents inside.  

Steam erupted from the hole, the wood charred, and the fire doused. You went to breath a sigh of relief; however the smoke and steam filed your lungs causing a coughing fit. A minute or so passed before you could breath again, now starting back at square one. No heat and no plan B. To make matters worse you had to open the basement windows to let out the smoke, letting more cold air in. Propping open every window and even placing a fan by one, you looked forlornly at the defunct furnace. Trying your best to see if you could bullshit your way into fixing it. It was after some scrutiny that you noticed a small switch to the side of the furnace, close to the ground, had been switched off. You leaned over to examine further, noting some kitty cat paw prints were in the dust by the button. Gingerly you flipped the switch back on, almost leaping back as the furnace came alive once more.

Irritation settled in your bones as you trudged along back upstairs. Now stinking of smoke, eyes and lungs irritated beyond belief you tried once more to continue baking. You had finished your meringue and were preparing the flour and sugar when you noticed that your little shit of a heat hating cat—who would usually be begging at your feet by now, was no where in sight. He had been a stray found by Eskel, whom you had immediately taken in and declared he was now Eskel and your son. He was also a massive food pit and would pester you incessantly when you were in the kitchen for any period longer than five minutes. So his absence now was noted.

It then occurred to you that you had opened the windows in the basement for the smoke. The very much screenless and at ground level windows.

How much can go wrong in an hour? Grabbing your coat, some shoes and cat treats you went outside. An hour and half later both you and the cat were finally back inside, of course not before it had started to rain, however. With your heat, cat and windows now secure you get back to the recipe, specifically starting it over.

Time went quickly and the tedious nature of the cookies plus you frazzled state caused you to be a bit sloppy with your baking. Sugar getting everywhere and at one point knocking vanilla extract off the counter and all over the kitchen.

You almost cried at that point, but papa didn’t raise no bitch and you WERE going to see this through. Finally you had your cookies in the oven and even though you did everything right, the tops of them started to crack.

Great, just great.

At least they’ll still taste okay, you thought, trying you best to power through baking and frosting them. At last they were finished, and you sighed looking out at the mess of both yourself and the kitchen.

Today was cursed, you were sure of it. Either you could be alone and happy or in a relationship and miserable. No in-between.

Somehow you cleaned the kitchen and showered, but the wear of the day being one event after another dragged your shoulders down to rest—just for a moment.

            They gentle eyes of the your “stray son” peered at Eskel through the window as he walked up to your door. He was honestly really excited, sure he had gone out for Valentines before, but never like this. Never with someone he loved. Someone that loved him enough to know he would rather stay in and be fancy at home, rather than try and keep that pretense out in public. He was excited to have you try his soup. He hadn’t been sure what to make, but he wanted to impress you, and it was still cold enough for soup. He was picture the two of you curled up on the couch, cozy, some show playing on TV but neither of you really paying attention because the other was close. Or at least that’s how he always felt around you. Like he couldn’t focus because time spent with you, not paying attention to you was time wasted.

            He knocked on the door gently, when several minutes passed and no answer he re-arranged the container in his hands to open the door. You were probably just in the shower or had headphones on. He had accidentally (and sometimes purposefully if he was being honest) scared you because you were so engrossed in what you were listening to. He couldn’t really help it though, you were so cute when you were flustered and tried mock scolding him afterwards.

            Eskel made his way into the kitchen, noticing the faint scent of wood smoke in the hall. He opened the fridge to place his soup inside while he searched for you, when something light blue caught his eyes. He eyed the cookies up and down for a second. He wasn’t sure if you had bought them for tonight or for something else but…..

            Eskel grabbed two of the sweets, putting one in his mouth as he went to search for you.

            ……. You knew better than to leave sweets out when we was coming over.

            Eskel made his first stop at your bedroom, concern furrowing his brows a moment when he didn’t hear the water running. Only to then hear the soft sounds of you sleeping behind the door. Eskel gently opened up the door. Your cat being ever the opportunist rushing in as it opened to come and jump on the bed. You were on your stomach, hair sprawled out around you, the scent of you hair products wafting up as he got closer. A smile tugged further and further up his face as he noticed you hadn’t even gotten out of your robe yet. You must have fallen asleep after your shower before getting ready.

            Eskel set the cookie in his hand down on your nightstand and leaned over, his hand brushing against your cheek as he kissed your temple.

            “Y/n…. Y/n babe wake up” You stirred quietly shoulders jostling a bit before you pried open your eyes.

            “Esk? What? Shit what time is it?” You turned and tried to clumsily sit up but Eskel placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

            “ Doesn’t matter now I’m already here. What’s up are you okay? You’re not really a post-shower nap kinda girl.” Eskel smirked trying to get you to smile as well, but it quickly fell when he noticed your frown deepen.

            “Yeah I know I just…. I… Everything was just” You struggled to articulate what was going on and instead fell back into the bed, arms crossed over your eyes as a small whine escaped you.

            “Hey, hey it’s okay, you don’t need to tell me anything… Just… come here.”

            Eskel quickly discarded his jacket and climbed into the bed, opening his arms for you. You immediately accepted, wrapping around him and squishing your face into his neck.

            “m sorry I ruined Valentines.” Eskel could make out your mumbling into his skin.

            “You didn’t ruin Valentines” You pulled back from him slightly, the vibrations from him speaking just a bit too much.

            “But I’m all mopey and junk.” You frowned looking into the bit of his chest peaking out from his V neck. A shirt you would bet money he only wore because he knew you loved them on him. Eskel leaned back further, an arms detaching from your side so he could bring his hand up. Gentle fingers pulled your chin up to look at him. Soft, kind eyes, tan skin and a look of total adoration greeted you.

            “I still love you when you’re mopey.”

[blooms-in-april]

"Here."

Jaskier looks up from his lute to see Eskel holding the reins of a horse so beautiful it looks like a pearlescent moon.

"She's for you." Eskel says.

Jaskier moves as if in a dream, taking the reins of the albino mare. Eskel continues, the words flowing.

"She was a steal, blemished. Someone cut her deep in the head and sides. But I thought you'd find that romantic, you know. Make a wounded unicorn out of her marks. And you need a horse and you like pretty things. It made sense to me."

The chords of his throat knot, cut short. Jaskier draws his fingers through the white mare's mane, lute callouses catching on hair white as snow. He picks at a stuck burr and his heart clenches with the familiarity of the movement .

"Why couldn't it have been you?" He says.

Eskel stops abruptly. There is something wild and despairing in the bards voice, a reclamation of destiny.

"Why couldn't it have been you I met in Posada all those years ago?" Jaskier says. "Where were you twenty years ago? Where were you ten? Where were you when I was young and green and full of music?Of course I meet you now,"

He laughs, and there is no melody in it.

"Of course I meet you now, when I am full and sick of loving. You would have been- kind, when you finally sent me away. You would have killed it quickly, killed the dream quiet and fast, in my sleep, like a horse with a broken leg too weak to stand."

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 71

The other witchers at Kaer Morhen have always grown tired of Geralt's random moodswings and bouts of gloom and grumpiness during the winter. He'd be happy and carefree, safe in his home, and then some dark thought would crest in his mind, and for a few days straight, he'd be in a horrible mood. When one year he brings his bard with him, they realize the moodswings have disappeared completely. That is, until Jaskier starts trying to "bond" with them all and spends less time with Geralt. Then all of a sudden the snarls and snaps from Geralt are back. One day, Lambert gets tired of Geralt's sass, and shoves Jaskier at him, and they're all amazed when Geralt loses his bad mood and instead chooses to carry his bard off to cuddle in front of the fireplace. Nuzzling him and purring the whole time. Thus commences a new rule of Kaer Morhen. If you spot Geralt being pissy, you chuck the bard at him. Jaskier has been taken away from a meal, a game of gwent, his chores, his bed while asleep, and one especially embarrassing time he was taken from a bath. Jaskier is quite alright with the new rule, as it always ends in deligthtful Geralt cuddles, but sometimes he wishes Geralt would just find Jaskier instead of moping when he misses him.

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Witcher Fic Recs

Wanted to make a list of some of my favorite Witcher fics! Most of these are not Jaskier/Geralt, but I did add some, and they are just as good! A lot are also Explicit, and some need an AO3 account to access. Feel free to message me if you want your work taken off this list.

*I do not claim any of these fics as mine, and I give all the credit to the original authors*

"Bat Out of Water" by @tafkamayle One of if not my favorite Witcher fic! 65k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt Jaskier/Eskel Jaskier/Lambert, Vampire and Pirate AU

"The Songbird of The Cats" by @ohwhoopsok I've read this one so many times I cannot recommend it enough! 28k words, Mature, Jaskier/OCs Jaskier/Aiden Jaskier/Lambert, Jaskier becomes the School of the Cats new obsession, little non-human Jaskier

"The Shape of Love" by @jaskierswolf 17k words, Teen and Up, Shifter AU, Geralt/Jaskier, there's a bunch of works in this series and they're all great!

"Fateful Red" by @tafkamayle again, 16k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt, Soulmates and No Powers AU, I love this one so much!

"That's my Jam(bert)" by @greenbirddraws/GreenBird, 14k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, I love them together so much!

"So Tight I'd Bruise You" by @sweetpeapod 496 words, General Audience, Jaskier/Lambert, little hurt/comfort and soft Lambert

"Cat Up A Tree(Going Down on a Witcher)" by Hallianna, 10k words, Explicit, Aiden/Jaskier/Lambert, love this one a lot!

"Bring Your Hunger" by @sweetpeapod again, 2k words, Teen and Up, Jaskier/Lambert, teasing and fluff

"Take a Chance on Second Chances" by Caelanmiriel, 9k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, some courting rituals

"Fingertips" by @ohwhoopsok again, 3k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, Lambert can't get hard, some fluff, this one is super sweet!

"to the wolves" by @besselfcn 1k words, Mature, Jaskier/Lambert/Eskel/Geralt, Past SA, hurt/comfort, revenge, past Valdo/Jaskier

"I Just Want to Feel You" by @stfustucky 6k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Lambert/Eskel, Geralt and Eskel fuck up some aftercare so Lambert has to make things right, super sweet one!

"Soap, and the Scents of Home" by @round--robin/round_robin 32k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert, lots of touch-starved Witchers, Scent kink, an amazing series!

"5 Times Geralt was Cat-Like (+1 Time He Was Wolf-Like)" by @xrdragonix 2k, General Audience, Geralt/Jaskier, Wolf and Cat traits, super cute and wholesome!

If you enjoyed any of these please let the authors know with comments, kudos, and/or bookmarking it!

[ladyannemarie5]

Jaskier to Radovid: I'm so happy we can finally be together. Now I can finally introduce you to the rest of my harem.

Radovid: Your what?!

Jaskier: This is Geralt, you've heard of him in my songs, the great White Wolf, he won't hesitate to run you through with his sword.

This is Yennefer, my favorite sorceress, she can turn you into a toad if she wants to.

This big guy here is Eskel, he looks grumpy but he's a cinnamon roll that can rip you in half.

Here's Lambert, my favorite idiot who can blow you to pieces without hesitation.

And last but not least, my dear Vespula, don't let her pretty face fool you, she can leave you with no inheritance if she gets upset.

Oh, and how can I forget my dear princess, my niece Cirilla, she can make all your brains come out of your mouth.

But don't worry, sweetie, you're doing great.

[islenthatur]

So we all know the stories where Jaskier collects Witchers like dnd players and dice, how could he not!? And we all know that the ones where Witchers collect Jaskiers friendship too.

But honestly, I just want a fic where the Witchers mounts and lil bleater just collect the noisy-colourful-being-withsnacks...

Animals are smart okay, the horses talk to eachother because how else would they get civilised conversation and of course they'd brag about who carried the heaviest for longest, how many times their stupid people got hurt...

Roach starts off complaining about the noisy-being that followed them one day that just never stopped making noises or trying to pet her. The years pass and the complaints turn into fondess and she comes home more full and cared for than she had in a long time and her witcher does too.

The others, Scorpion, horse, lil bleater all want to meet the human, try to ease their own witchers burdens and just... does.

Jaskier is away from geralt for a competition, and suddenly, he has a very insistent goat bleating at him, pushing him off the road towards Eskel who was injured.

It just goes on from there... Lambert's mount Horse finds him, lips at the pants roach knew held sugar cubes and both Lambert and Jaskier stare at eachother awkwardly while he feeds horse the cubes.

Word travels between the mounts, a hawk that was a familiar to a Griffin flys down and rests on Jaskiers lute while playing, scaring the fuck out of him but shows him to another injured witcher.

Then the mountain happens

Roach loses her horse mind in anger at her Witcher, there would be no more soft songs, no more flowers in her main or apples, her Noisy-foal gone...

The animals revolt, it's a hard season for all witchers and when Geralt gets back after Cintra and Jaskier is with him the animals just go absolutely ballistic in joy and surround him

All the witchers are just watching with the most adorable wtf faces ever.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

For the first time in a long time, Eskel wasn’t the first one back. It wasn’t surprising, apparently Geralt had arrived back a fortnight ago, anxious to be back with Ciri. The child was currently sat at one of the long tables, legs swinging as she drew in the blank journal Vesemir had given her whilst the adults talked amongst themselves. It was to be a welcome home present for her Uncle Eskel and therefore, she was determined to make it the best picture of her entire six years.

“I ran into Lambert a couple of months back.” Eskel said as he finished warming up by the roaring fire in the great hall after his climb up to Kaer Morhen, “He said he’s bringing his Cat with him this year.”

Vesemir nodded, “Meaning he’ll be coming from further South, so we should expect him a little later.”

Ciri looked up at that, “Uncle Lambert has a cat?”

“Hmm? Yes, Aiden.”  Geralt answered, attention still mostly on his brother.

Ciri gave an excited wiggle. Her grandmother had never allowed her to have a pet. The closest she’d come was the cat owned by one of the courtiers; a fat, fluffy thing with a squashed face named Pumpkin (something which had confused Ciri, considering the cat wasn’t orange). She imagined pulling a string for them to chase, sitting petting them whilst Uncle Eskel read to her from one of the storybooks he’d decided wasn’t too grown up for her like he had last winter. Maybe she’d be allowed to have them sleep in her room sometimes. Oh yes, Ciri couldn’t wait!

“Papa, where will Aiden be sleeping?” Ciri had looked all around the Keep and she couldn’t find anything resembling a cat bed. Not even a cushion like the one Pumpkin would spend all day sitting on.

“He usually shares with Lambert.” Geralt said, as he tucked her in, “He’ll have his own room too though. Just incase.”

Ciri blinked. The cat was going to have its own room, “Why?”

“He’s like anybody else. He likes to have his own space sometimes or he gets grumpy. You warm enough?”

She nodded, feeling her eyelids already starting to grow heavy, “Goodnight, Papa.”

“Goodnight, Cub.”

Ciri was perched on one of the kitchen counters, munching on a couple of carrot sticks Eskel had handed to her when a thought struck her, “Uncle Eskel, will Aiden have to catch and eat the rats?”

Eskel laughed loudly and had to pause in his vegetable chopping so he didn’t lose a finger, “You know, I only said that as a joke about your Uncle Lambert’s cooking, right? And no, Cub, there’s more than enough here for Aiden too. Nobody's going to go hungry.”

“Okay.” Ciri nodded and went back to her snack, satisfied with her answer she’d gotten.

 Geralt reported seeing smoke halfway down the mountain. Lambert would be home by tomorrow.

“Will Aiden like me?”

Pumpkin had hissed and scratched at her if she ever tried to pet him or play with him after all. Even though she was nice and never tried to pull his tail or anything like that.

Vesemir ruffled her hair, “He’ll love you, Cub. Just do as you do with everyone else here and take heed if he wants to be left alone, alright? Don’t go chasing him.”

“We were worried you wouldn’t make it.” Geralt said, embracing Lambert in a rough hug, not waiting for the other to shake the snow off his cloak and boots, “Thought we’d have to come down and dig you out. Aiden.” He extended a hand to the stranger, who grasped it tightly.

Ciri stared up at the man stood next to her uncle. The man her papa had called Aiden. He was a little shorter and leaner, but still tall with green eyes and a friendly smile, his curly black hair flecked with snow and tied back from his face.

“You’re not a cat.”

That drew their attention. Aiden cocking his head towards her with an “Eh?” whilst Geralt hissed her name in admonishment.

Ciri crossed her arms, “Papa, you all said Uncle Lambert was bringing a cat back.”

“Geralt, what is she-“

Aiden put a hand on Lambert's forearm, interrupting him,  “I think I see what’s happened.”

He crouched so he was level with the little girl, fighting to keep down his laughter lest she think it was directed at her and not the situation (Eskel had already lost that battle and had retreated to the kitchen), “I’m a Cat in the same way your Uncle Lambert’s a Wolf. That’s my school, see.” He held out his medallion for Ciri to get a good look at.

“There’s other Witcher schools?”

“A year here and she doesn’t know that. What the fuck have you actually been teaching her, old man?”

“Lambert, watch your language!”

Ciri turned big eyes on the group, “So, there’s no cat for me to play with?”

“Oh I wouldn’t say that, Cub. I’m always up for a round of hide and seek, and I bet you’ve found all the best hiding places by now.”

Ciri nodded, it was true. When she wasn’t at lessons with Grandpa Vesemir, she’d had a lot of time to explore.

Aiden gave her an easy grin, “Great.” He dropped his voice to a stage whisper, “You can show me the best places to hide from your Uncle. It’s always funny making him jump.”

Ciri giggled.

“Alright, back to your lessons now Ciri. Let Lambert and Aiden get settled.”

 Ciri took Geralt’s hand, letting him lead her to the library. They may have waited until Ciri was out of earshot, but Geralt heard all too clearly the Cats laughter and Jaskier-worthy exclamations about how she was “Too fucking adorable!”. Geralt smiled down at the little blonde head. Yes, she most definitely was.

[winters-mistress]

Cuddle pile

It's cold. It's so fucking cold that Ciri thinks she may honestly ask the gods to take her to the next world, because nothing can be as cold as this. She's got two pairs of leggings on, two pairs of socks, one of Geralt's tunics, her pair of gloves that Eskel had found for her, and she's buried underneath several blankets. Yet, she's so cold. She's so fucking cold.

The door opens, she can hear the squeak of the hinges. Footsteps come towards her, she can tell by the gait that it's Geralt, he's trying to be quiet, but he knows she's awake.

"Ciri?" she peaks out of her cocoon of blankets, one eye blinking up at him. His lip twitches, and he reaches towards her. "Cone here, it's too cold for you to be here alone. Especially with the fire refusing to catch."

She realises that the fireplace and the torches are dead. How many times has somebody came in and tried to warm her, only for the wind to blow it out?

Her thoughts distract her enough that Geralts breath upon her cheeks startle her, but she doesn't jump when his arks finally pick her up, blanket cocoon and all.

She makes a questioning noise, but never says no to Geralt giving her a hug. She's carried like a baby out of her room, out of the wing, down two flights of stairs, down another corridor, a third set of stairs, before they end up at the kitchens.

She makes a confused noise. It can't be breakfast time yet, the keep is pitch black to her puny human eyes.

"Why're we here?" she asks, rubbing her tired eyes.

"It's too cold, even for us. Gotta rest." Geralt says. Ciri blinks at him.

All in all, the witchers are good when it comes to her sleeping. When her nights are plagued with the horrors of her past and future, and she wakes up screaming with wet cheeks, the witchers let her sleep in whenever her rest finally turns peaceful and dark. They allow her afternoon naps after training and chores are done, and send her to bed when she stumbles into the dining hall with dark circles under her eyes. Early nights and late starts aren't punished, and as long as training and chores are completed at some point in the day, the witchers don't particularly care when it happens. Hell, shes been wrapped up like a baby by Lambert of all people when they had determined she needed a sleep.

Which is why it shouldn't be surprising when he turns the last corner and finds five Witchers laying a couple feet away from the cracking fireplace underneath the stew pot. They've got blankets and pillows and furs, and look rather comfortable. Laying all over each other, looking rather like a puppy pile. Even Aiden joins in with the snuggling.

"Pups." Vesemir rumbles when he sees them both. Geralt puts her on the floor, kneeling down next to her.

"Come here, girl, get comfortable. Gonna be making camp here for a couple'a days." Coën clarifies when he sees her confused face. Ciri blinks, but nods. These things make sense, and she's seen all the men here hug, but admittedly, this is the first cuddle pile she's been privy to.

She turns upon her side, feeling Geralt curl behind her, trapping her in with his arms, wrapping her in another blanket. She hums, wrapping her hand over his, before Eskel pulls them both close, and she smiles, closing her eyes, feeling the warmth seep into her.

And tonight, she will sleep sweetly indeed.

[slumberingcorpse]

Imagine if instead of cats being terrified of witchers, they instead loved witchers? I can just picture Lambert just walking into a town with an army of cats that he’s gathered just to cause utter chaos. (Yes, he has tried to train all of his cats to attack people he doesn’t like. He gave up after a week). Every time, Eskel sleeps in a barn or stables he wakes up with a whole colony of stray cats sleeping on him causing him to often get up late since he doesn’t want to disturb their sleep. He also makes sure to feed them any chance he gets. Geralt would constantly lose his mind during hunts since kittens will start to pop out of nowhere wanting attention and he will have to kill monsters while protecting each cat. As for Vesemir, he busies himself with building cat trees for all the cats that wander into Kear Morhan and treat them as more of his children. He gave them all names and makes clothes, toys (Made with the purest of cat nip), and beds for all of them. Some of them even have small versions of the wolf medallions as collars.

[jeanblack2056]

Jaskier's poems:

So in my head Jaskier has been writing poems about Geralt ever since he met him and published them under the Dandelion pseudonym, kinda hoping Geralt would read them, kinda hoping he would not.

Coincidentaly they become sort of popular and when Eskel travels through Oxenfurt, he buys one of the collections to bring home, as it's clear they are written about a witcher.

Fast forward a few years later, it's after the mountain and Geralt, Ciri and Jaskier come to Kaer Morhen, when Eskel realizes who wrote the poems and starts reading them aloud after Ciri went to sleep.

Jaskier turns red and panics internally, while cringing at his old writing. Vesemir politely excuses himself and goes to sleep. Geralt slowly turns even paler as he realizes the poems are about him and Lambert bursts out laughing because who the hell would write about Geralt like this. He's utterly oblivious.

[cosmos-coma]

Hi!! Can I request an Eskel one shot where he fell in love with the reader (a Viper witcheress who is homeless since it disbanded) and he invites her back to Kaer Morhen for winter to introduce her to his brothers. She's also a great cook and the wolfs says she's a keeper. 😆

Vipers and Wolves

A/N: Ive never written a witcher!reader before, but it wasn't bad at all! I was hit with the comedic bug for this one, It's not super romantic all around but it is strong in found family!

Pairing: Eskel x Reader

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: Language, very quick editing

___________________________________

It was in the heat of summer when you first met. 

You had been laying under a great big oak tree as the rain pattered down around you. The fire warmed your face as you set a heaping pile of damp fuel beside it, hoping it would dry in time to use it. Stray raindrops fell like tears from the leaves above you, making you shudder as one lucky one slid right down your back. 

“Ugh… stupid rain,” you complained to yourself as you set out your bedroll and started getting comfortable in your camp. 

The sun was beginning to set when you heard rustling far off in the distance, towards the middle of the forest. You were right outside of a small town so it was probably just a human, but people don't usually travel through the thick of the forest either. Your viper head medallion confirmed your suspicions as it lay motionless against your chest.

You stood cautiously and drew your steel sword as the sound of breaking twigs got closer and closer. A large dark silhouette moved within your vision as the sun was now halfway sunk on the horizon. As they got closer you could see it was actually a man on a large black horse, with… two swords on their back? Is it possible you really found another witcher?

You couldn’t believe your cat-like eyes. So many of you were lost after the sieges. So many of your brothers and sisters were killed defending your home from the onslaught of humans, and even then they couldn’t succeed. Your old home now was a wasteland of rocks and unlivable walls that held no more life. All the books and research your school did on the wild hunt… gone save for you and the few survivors. 

“ A fellow witcher.” You held your hand up in a friendly wave as you watched him dismount and come closer to the light of your campfire. 

Your breath escaped you as you saw the warmth of his Golden eyes lit by the fire, they were soft in a way that you didn’t often see from others, let alone witchers. Deep scars ravaged the right side of his cheek, tightly twisting his skin in jagged ways and notching his slightly chapped lips. 

“Ah, not every day you run across another witcher out in the field.” He smiled a bit as he nodded toward your swords. “Eskel, Wolf school.” He introduced himself and held out his hand. He seemed oddly trustworthy of you, but you suppose some people just have better judges of character. 

You dropped your sword back with your other belongings as you shook his hand in return. “Y/n, Viper school.” you smiled a bit as you spoke and motioned to your camp. “You’re, uh- I guess you’re welcome to make camp here too… means I have someone else to collect firewood for me.” you laughed a bit, gaining a small smile in return from the broad man.

He shook his head a bit as his brow furrowed, “isn’t there a town just a few minutes ride that way? Why don’t you get a room at the tavern there?” He asked, taking a seat across from you at the campfire as you sat down on your bedroll. 

“Can’t waste the money.” you said with a frown, “The viper school isn’t livable anymore so I have to hole up in a tavern all winter. I mean, I’ve found a nice place that’ll let me work to stay but, somehow money still seems to run far too thin by the end of the season so I need everything I can get.” 

Eskel watched as you stoked the fire carefully and added another log. He wasn't sure if it was the scar that ran across your nose that seemed to highlight your features, or perhaps it was the way you spoke that found him feeling exactly at home.  Maybe it was your subtle scent of lavender? No, no, it was your eyes for sure. Your eyes glowed in the firelight and danced with a fierce- yet gentle- determination, a dichotomy that Eskel rarely saw outside of his own eyes.

“Well… Do you mind having a guest at your campsite tonight? I’ll collect all the firewood you could ever need.”

---------

“Are you sure this is gonna be alright? I’m not sure…” You said as the tall standing walls of the Keep just crept into view over the hills. “They're not gonna be nearly as nice as you are, you're an exception…” You sighed.

“Oh, no. You’re right- they’re complete assholes, but I promise they’d never be like that to you. Not right away, anyways.” Eskel stifled a small laugh when you turned to scowl deeply at him. “I just mean to say… that as you become more like family they’re gonna treat you more like family. And that of course includes ruthless teasing from time to time.” He smiled and shrugged. 

Though you were fierce and skilled as a Witcher- and among the few women in your profession at that- you knew that you were intruding on another school, someone else's home with different customs and you felt like you needed to tread lightly lest you be asked to return to the oncoming winter season.

It took the rest of the day to finally reach the Keep’s arching gate and ride your horses through. You put them away in the stables, absolutely taking the opportunity to meet the famed Lil bleater along the way. 

A comfortable warmth washed over you as the doors to the great hall opened and a large fire crackled in the fireplace, warming the 3 men already inside. Eskel had told you more than enough about his brothers and his father figure. Geralt, the one with white hair and a scar down the eye who looks grumpy all the time, but can be cracked with a joke at Lambert's or Eskel's Expense. Lambert, smaller than the others and the stereotypical younger brothers, his heart lies in mischief and bomb-making. And finally, Vesemir, Who always- but especially after the sieges- stepped up as a sort of father figure to them and was always a little wary, but more than willing to give anyone a fair chance. 

“Eskel… Welcome back” Geralt greeted and held his mug up to his returning brother. 

“And friend..? Well, Hello..” Lambert said with raised eyebrows which quickly turned into a mischievous grin. Your fingers brushed Eskel’s hand before you could even think about it, inviting and asking for his hand to hold, to which he was quick to respond and intertwine his fingers with yours. You could tell it didn’t go unnoticed, but none of them said anything about it.

“And a Viper at that…Been a long time since I’ve seen any of you. I reckon there's even less of you than there is of us…” Vesemir observed out loud as he nodded and raised his hand in greeting. 

“You’d be right on that… Letho is the only other one of us I know to still be around.” You said with a hint of sadness in your voice, unlike that of what was expected of a witcher, even less than that of what a Viper should be. You were all made to be ruthless and cold, but for some reason, it just didn’t seem to stick with you for very long. 

“Well, welcome to the last of the wolves, I suppose. “ Geralt said with a nod to you, “we were all just arguing about whose turn it is to make dinner.” 

Eskel sighed and set his stuff on the table, “I’m not doing that after a full day of travel. I vote Lambert.” he proposed, getting met with Lambert’s loud and offended scoff. 

“What the FUCK, Eskel?” 

Geralt’s serious exterior cracked as a smile slipped onto his lips and he turned to Lambert with a smirk. “Well, Lambert. That’s two votes for you, one for me, and Vesemir couldn’t give a shit. Sooooo…” he said with a short laugh. 

“You guys are absolute dogshit,” Lambert complained, throwing his hands in the air in an exaggerated gesture. 

Now it was your turn to pipe up, “I don’t mind cooking…”, you said, looking between the small group of men. 

“Y/n, you don’t have to do that. We’ve just spent days on horseback, you should rest..” Eskel tried to argue, but you quickly waved him off. 

“Nonsense. Part of my job at the tavern over winter was to cook for guests. I actually find it rather relaxing.” you said with a smile and a firm squeeze to his hand before you handed your pack over, “Which way to the kitchen?” 

“I’ll show you!” Lambert shot up faster than he probably ever had for a task, and quickly waved you on towards the Keep’s kitchen. Once out of earshot of his brothers and father he quietly thanked you for taking over the dreaded task and showed you everything you could need. 

It wasn’t too long before you were cooking up a storm and coming out of the kitchen with a sizzling pan and a steaming pot. Vesemir was kind enough to grab plates for everyone as the boys all began to crowd around. 

“Hmm, smells better than Geralt's cooking…” Lambert commented as he wafted the steam toward his face.

“Fuck that, it smells better than Vesemir’s cooking..” Eskel dared to say in front of the old man. But it was true, you put all you had into this dish. You figured that- like with many people- a wolf’s heart lies within its stomach. Of course having a full shelf of spices available to you helped a lot, some even that you hadn’t seen in circulation for many years.

Without another word, they all quickly served themselves up and began eating. It was so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop all the up the stairs into the tower if you tried hard enough. Your nerves started twisting at your stomach as you got your own plate and still no one had said a word. Was it good? Was it bad? No, Lambert probably would have said so. 

“This…” Vesemir spoke, the first word since everyone had been served, “This is the first time they’ve been completely quiet at dinner in over 50 years…”, he said with a warm smile, more than you ever thought capable of the older man. “Your great food has given me the one thing I never thought I’d have again. Silent company..” He laughed a bit, now turning to Eskel. 

“She’s a keeper, you know that, right? If you show up next winter without her you’re gonna sleep in the stables.” Vesemir finished as he turned back to his plate. Lambert and Geralt mumbled agreements through full mouths and content hums as Eskel turned the slightest shade of pink. 

“Yes, I understand. I don’t need your threats to keep her around though,” Eskel said with a small smile as he reached for your hand above the table, in full view of everyone else. 

A smile spread across your face that you tried to hide as you took a bite of food, “Oh yeah, Eskel’s never gonna be rid of me at this rate…” 

_____________________

Taglist: @writingmysanity @open--till--midnight @madamemelancholysstuff @dark-academia-slut

Want to be included on the taglist? just DM me to let me know!

[askaalaska-vdeppressed]

Kids and Coffee Dates Ch 11

Masterlist

(set to the tune of the lamby song from Gravity Falls) Who wants a tiny little update? I do! I do! Because I haven't written in like 4 months Sorry! My bad!

“Kids are learning fast. They know the T-birds kick some ass. Be sure that there’s no coming last if your on…”

The music pouring out of the Bluetooth speaker on a shelf in the garage trickled out of the open garage door and down to meet Geralt underneath the body of a 67 impala. The car had been an absolute nerd vanity purchase and Geralt knew it. It had needed a new interior; the thing ran like dirt when he first bought it and Geralt was sure he had almost rebuilt the engine at this point with all the parts he had replaced in it. Yet every time he opened the garage and he saw it, a little bit of giddiness bubbled up in him. He had been working with his therapist about defining his emotions and letting himself feel them. The car it turned out had ended up being his little get away to think. A place neither of the women in his house wanted to really be in for any length of time that he could just feel in. He could get upset, frustrated, excited and curious completely unfiltered and it felt good.

Yennifer still called him a nerd for getting The Impala, which he always felt were bold words coming from someone with a Gossip Girl phase, that he witnessed no less.

It wasn’t Yennifer or Ciri however that disrupted Geralt from his musing while working underneath the car, rather it was the rumbling of an engine and the sound of tires slowing over asphalt in the drive. As he was pulling himself up from under the car Lambert was already out and beelining toward him.

“That girl that Eskel went on a date with, what did she look like?” Lambert was breathing heavy like he had ran over to Geralt’s house instead of driving.

“Why?” Geralt quirked up an eyebrow, the frown on his face contouring as he reached for a rag to wipe his hands.

“Well you know how Dad got on my ass about looking nice for company things? Well I was going over to Eskel’s to get steal some stuff of his because I was thinking about it and you know my thing about doing things when I think about them. “

“Yes I am aware that your ADHD ass works in mysterious ways” Geralt threw back at him.

Lambert gave him a quick dirty look before dropping it to continue.

“Well anyway I went to his house this morning and—”

Lambert’s rant was drown out by the very familiar rumble of a bike engine, which abruptly shut off as both brothers turned. Eskel stood a few feet from the bike, arms crossed over his chest and a glare directed at Lambert. The two brothers seemed to have an entire conversation for a few seconds solely with there eyes and facial expressions before Lambert bolted off like a shot to the side to try and reach his vehicle. Eskel however had strategically place himself between the two and sidestepped to grab his brother. The force of the two colliding knocked them both to ground.

It really was something watching two grown men—both built like lumberjacks—wrestling in a driveway at 7 in the morning.

Geralt only wished he had brought a drink out with him to watch the show.

The wrestling match lasted a few more seconds before Eskel had completely pinned Lambert to the ground with his hands pinned behind his back.  

“What in the hell is going on out here? You men are in your thirties, are you really acting like this?” Yennifer had stepped out on the front porch to observe the scene that was being made in her front yard.

“Hey don’t you lump me in with these old men” Lambert picked his head up from the pavement to retort back at Yennifer. Eskel gave out a huff before standing up and letting Lambert go. Which the younger man readily accepting quacking jumping back up.

Yennifer had made her way down to the driveway, turning to Geralt for answers.

“What’s going on out here?” Geralt gave her a shrug before answering.

“I genuinely don’t know this just kinda happened to me.”

“I saw Eskel’s girlfriend .” Lambert bluntly explained, all preamble lost after losing his impromptu wrestling match.

Eskel let out a groan dragging his hands through his hair and pulling before straightening back up and rolling his shoulders.

“Yeah look listen I’ve been meaning to tell you guys for a while I just could never find the right time, and then I started feeling guilty for waiting so long which made me wait ever more and I fuck” Eskel’s shoulders were slumped slightly as he looked mildly downtrodden off to the side.

“Does she have a name?” Yennifer tried to make the tone of her voice as light as possible to try and steer the conversation away from its sober state to at least some mild love or gaiety.

“Uhh yeah” Eskel awkwardly ruffled a hand behind his head. “Her name’s Y/n, she runs a farm, she’s been helping me with Bleater a lot actually, I’ve been seeing her for about six months. “

Lambert began to tsk and place his hand over his chest in overdramatic fashion.

“Eskel I just tsk I thought we were brothers. Six months you hide this girl from us? Six months I—”

“Oh my fucking God, you fucking knew?” Eskel’s eyes shone with irritation once more as he turned toward Lambert

“That not what i—” Lamber was once again cut off.

“No you wouldn’t be joking like this if this was the first time you were hearing about this. You fucking knew didn’t you?”  

Geralt stood up at this, knowing that Eskel would be even more upset if they lied any further.

“We found out by accident.” As Geralt spoke Eskel turned to him. The direct, vaguely angry eye contact would have probably brought any other man to his knees, but Geralt knew Eskel too well to be scared. He knew Eskel too well to fall for this act of anger that was hiding embarrassment and hurt.

“We found out by accident and we weren’t sure if it was anything serious so we figured you would come to us when you were ready.” While Geralt’s words were far from flowery or soft, he could tell by the lessening tension in Eskel’s shoulders that they were working.

“None of us wanted to pressure you or anything okay?” Relief filled Geralt as Eskel broke eye contact to close his eye and take a deep breath letting it out with an “okay”.

“Are we cool?” This was more for Geralt’s peace of mind than anything. Eskel was and always had been the closest person Geralt had had in his life, having Eskel upset at him for any length of time caused a big black hold to well up in his stomach that threaten to swallow him whole.

Eskel let out another long exhale from his nose before his eyebrows lifted slightly and he gave out a “Yeah were cool” with a few nods.

As the air cleared of tension Eskel could feel a few rapid fire vibrations radiate from his pocket.

Babe: Hey I think I’m gonna make waffles.

Babe: you have some strawberries in the fridge, should I make like a strawberry topping?

Babe: or blueberry?

Babe: blueberry and strawberry?

Babe:……… I love you!

Eskel let out a little snort from his nostrils before putting the phone back in his pocket.

“Well as… pleasant as this morning has been I have waffles waiting for me at home and I” Eskel looked around the driveway a second before flicking off a piece of gravel from his shoulder “am going to take advantage of them”

As the sound of the motorcycle faded into the distance Yennifer leaned into the side of the house.

“That could have gone a lot better”

“could have also gone a lot worse” Geralt responded, leaning over to pick up tools from around the car.

“I never did get my tie-tacks” Lambert piped up. “How mad do you think he’d be if I went back to his house to snag a waffle?”

~

Suhuyini: Hey were going to have a party for Purnima at the Stable for her birthday on October 1st. Just wanted to let you know.

Eskel: Nice, do you want me to bring anything?

Suhuyini: Your little girlfriend.

Eskel: You know what I meant, like what food do you want me to bring?

Suhuyini: Technically people are edible.

Eskel: Were not eating my girlfriend.

Suhuyini: Eskel I am sure you eat your girlfriend 😉

Eskel: Would you cut it out??

Suhuyini: Only if you bring your girlfriend.

Eskel: I will ASK my girlfriend. I’m not going to tie her up and drag her to the stable

Suhuyini: Tie her up you say 😉

Eskel: I’m leaving

Suhuyini: You can’t leave a text, if could also bring like a fruit or veggie tray that would be great.

[blooms-in-april]

When your fic of obsession that pulled you out of a three year hiatus gets 3 reviews.

Here's the link y'all

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Jaskier has taken to saying “Geralt’s bloody tits”.

It was a joke at first, but it’s become an actual habitual phrase for him. Geralt’s also become desensitized to it (when you hear “Geralt’s bloody tits, it’s cold out!” 50 times in an hour, you get numb to the phrase).

And then Jaskier says it unthinkingly in front of Geralt’s brothers.

Eskel's horrified but Lambert so takes to using it, you just know he does